#apart from talking shit about women she doesnt like

[anonimusunnoaniswriting]

Saying this with my whole chest but FUCK JK ROWLING. TERFS ARE SHIT AND IF YOU'RE ONE PLEASE IDENTIFY YOURSELF SO I CAN PUNCH YOU IN THE FACE.

FUCK JKR

I stand with my trans brothers and sisters here. I love you all.

do i have any followers who know deep witchcraft? can you all get in a discord call and hex JK Rowling? like actually

[curseddollfaye]

boy, I can't wait to get next to you

“Giving you true love in abundance, uh-huh. Giving and taking because we're not a fling. Giving me faith that it's not another”

toxic baby daddy toji! x reader NSFW headcanon

ᥫ᭡ MINORS DO NOT INTERACT! ty! please let me know what you think! ^.^ requests are currently open!! ᥫ᭡

masterlist

·:*¨༺ ♱✮♱ ༻¨*:· ੈ✩‧·:*¨༺ ♱✮♱ ༻¨*:· *ੈ✩‧₊˚

- Firstly, we have to talk about what’s under those sweat pants…

- Happy trail for days, thick thighs for days, back muscles that make you wanna mark him all up. He’s 7 inches soft and I would say 9 inches when he’s fully hard (he be all up in your guts to say the least)

- pink tip, veiny underside, you struggle to take him all into your mouth whenever you give him head. Often having to stroke what doesn’t fit or sometimes when you both are feeling it he’ll shove the rest of it in your mouth; muttering a soft

- “Don’t worry slut, I’ll make it fit. I always do don’t it?”

- He’s a dominate and would never let you sub (again, but that’s a story for another time ;) not that you would want to but Toji is just NOT submissive at all.

- his hands are on of your personal favorites. Apart from the looks of course. If he’s not sex on legs then you don’t know what.

- but you don’t miss the way the cashier from the grocery store slammed your eggs into the plastic bag whenever she saw you checking out with him happy at your trail…he knows he’s good looking too! which doesn’t help much when you’re green with jealously every once in a while

- Toji is 6’1 as established, he towers over you and you can admit proudly that you’ve always had a thing for big beefy men.

- SLUTTY LITTLE WAIST

- He was all muscle, obviously Toji likes working out! He likes lifting weights the most.

- you ask him to skip his morning gym session to lay with you he responds with a sly

- “Baby did you not see the way I was picking up up and fucking you last night? Daddy needs to be strong for his pretty slut”

- doesnt end up going to the gym and lays with you instead because you always get your way

- is very experienced! DUH

- Toji was a known bachelor. Before you he was with many women. He takes pride in knowing that he can satisfy a woman. Especially and strictly when that woman is you.

- Has mastered how to eat your pussy out until you’re gripping his head and crying out

- HE IS A MUNCH!!!!!

- Loves eating your pussy , breakfast , lunch and dinner. He’s not the slightest bit ashamed of it. Watching you quiver him and shake from the pleasure he was giving you did all sort of shit to his cock

- generous lover through and through. Your pleasure always comes first to him

- You will never forget on your first anniversary when he had you spread on the bed.

- Somewhere in Greece

-Thong shoved to the side and he really gave no fucks who was hearing from underneath the balcony

- the bastard had left the balcony doors open..which you hadn’t minded at first. Thinking it was innocent as the sun set and the soft breeze whipped through the silky lace curtains…

- “Gonna show everyone who this pussy belongs to, who makes you cry from how hard you get fucked…you’d like that wouldn’t you?” Toji had chuckled. Holding your legs apart and occasionally letting his hands wonder to grip your tits. The sounds of him sucking your clit into his lips and slurping all your juices into his mouth while groaning from your taste.

- you honestly were so lost in pleasure before you knew it he had manhandled you into the mating press and you were being fucked like you sinned

- LETS TALK KINKS!!

- No secret he had a breeding kink

- Lets be real it took you two year to have this man’s baby which you gladly did!

- Many nights were he’s had you with your legs to your chest while his cock drives in and out of you in a punishing pace. A white ring forming spring his base as your grip his forearms for some stability. Your creamy cunt squeezing him in so well.

- How could he not come inside you? And he does so with filthy words leaving his pretty lips

- “Mmm yeah you dirty fucking bitch take my cum. I’m gonna make sure it catches so you won’t think about leaving me ever again”

- “You want my babies? You think you’ve earned this fucking load? Come for me again and I’ll think about if you deserve it or not”

- “Gonna put my fucking baby into you so everyone remembers who you belong to, ohhh fuck…ahaha….m’gonna make your tummy so round for me. Making those fucking tits leak milk for our baby”

- he’s a big fan of titties

- but one thing Toji truly can’t get enough of is your ass

- worships it as if it’s his personal sanctuary

- you ALWAYS have marks on your cheeks from his bitting and nibbling whenever you two fuck

- because of this one of his personal positions is doggy, this man needs to hit it from the back

- eyes wandering down to watch your sss smack against his pelvis as he grins your hips and sets the pace for you both.

- has definitely pulled out mid stroke and buried his face into your soft pussy lips. gripping them fat of you ass cheeks back while his tongue wildly explored your wet cunt.

- you can only gasp and let out a pornographic moan as your eyes roll to the back of your skull “t-toji…daddy…ahhh!”

- loved LOVES coming inside you, but painting your ass with his white pearly cum is a bonus too

- also cumming on your face

- Toji makes you feel like the most beautiful woman in the world, and it’s because he knows you are. He knows men are lined up ready to be with you. Who wouldn’t!! Your a man’s dream and Toji has it in his head that every man that looks your way wants you

- It honestly offends him

- Which is why he always throughly enjoys coming on your face

- His hand moving quick against his cock, red tip leaking pre- cum begging for release, his other hand petting your hair, moving your hair from your face. His thumb slipping into your mouth. Warm muscles wrapping around his digit. You looked so innocent yet so fucking dirty at the same time. Your eyelashes fluttering against your tinted cheeks. His eyes wandering down to look at your plump lips. His thumb fully engulfed as your tongue swirls around it. Your start bobbing your head, mimicking you ducking his cock and his pace around himself starts to stutter.

- Toji swears he’s about to have a heart attack when he wants you tug your tank top down letting your tits spill out for him

- he cums on your face

- Is into taking pictures and photos of you, he keeps them safely in a password and Face ID locked folder on his phone

- is obsessed when you send him pictures while he’s away on business trips or conferences

- One time he had been gone for two full weeks, scheduled to fly back the next day.

- Toji’s had a glass shot glass up to his scarred lip, tossing it back, basking the feeling of success and new beginnings for him. He knew the deal would go off without a hitch. He was Toji Fushiguro after all, he didn’t waste his time.

- A light buzz caught his attention

- His green eyes peered up from his associate , who was happily chatting with one of the investors who was already sold on the idea of investing in Toji’s new expansion of nightclubs in Kabukicho. Japan’s vast nightclub, bars, and restaurant district.

- Picking up his phone Toji smiled at the name

- pretty girl

attachment: 1

- Typing in his password he opened up his messages, his jaw fell slack.

- A 15 second long video of you, your hands playing with your boobs as you sat back in the jacuzzi that he knew too well

- he had it put in your master bathroom shortly after you broke it off, he heard you saying something about being nice to have one to relax your muscles in. he had the money so, why not?

- His finger hovered over the play button, but not before quickly putting the volume all the way down and looked around to make sure no one was in near proximity

- we all know this man is possessive as fuck, doesn’t give two shits that you two are not together because according to Toji

- “tch….Technicalities baby…” he muttered to you when you remind him of the very (annoying) fact.

- his breath hitches when he presses play. Your hair is up, a few strands falling in front of your eyes, soapy tits come into view. Your fingers playing with the soft flesh.

- Toji at that point couldn’t be more jealous of soap bubbles in his life.

- He shivers and feels his pants tighten against his skin.

- The video ends with your smirk on your plump lips. Eyes saying ‘fuck me’ and of course he would if he was there.

- Toji mutters grumpily at your teasing, angry he couldn’t be at home giving you what you desperately need.

- His girl needs to be fucked and he’s away in another country , what an inconvenience for the both of you

- he quickly types a response before getting up to say goodbye to his brand new investors and excuse himself back to the hotel room.

- ‘naughty girl, you better be ready for me by the time I get back to my room or else you don’t come at all tomorrow when I get there’

- Although Toji is a very dominate man, he’s also the softest man for you. You bask it in, and sometimes you never want to let it go. Whenever he’s making love to you on the bed. Passionate sex filled with words of promise and sorrys. Toji lets himself melt into you as you moan into his shoulder while he whispers the sweetest words to you. It often leaves you wondering if you would ever find a man that was willing to give you as much as him.

- it scared the shit out of you.

- “oh fuck baby…babybaby…mmm….mean so much to me. Fuck ‘yer so perfect”

- “Cant ever be with another woman, you’re the only one of me beautiful…You’re the only one for me. This sweet pussy was made for me, takes me so well.”

- “I love you so much beautiful”

[satoruhour]

🪻ugh your drabble about sore reader reminded of this one hc I think of so much that it’s embarrassing. Imagine gojo getting on sorcerer!reader’s nerves to the point that she and utahime almost have an anti-gojo hate club, and one time while bantering with him she jokes about his size or how he’s so self centred he probably can’t even make a woman cum.

Satoru only says “wanna see what I’m all about?” and safe to say she gets dicked down like there’s no tomorrow. Throughout the night he also makes fun of her for being all talk in the beginning but cumming so easily, makes her beg for it, will never let her live it down. Next day Utahime’s real pissed she lost her club’s vice chairperson.

My kitty isn’t even purring atp she’s meowing loud and crystal clear. Satoru who’s smug and a big tease in bed is so unbelievably sexy to me

a/n: discussions of incompetent dick game LMAO, oral f! receiving, fingering, p -> v sex, unprotected sex, creampies, multiple rounds

OHHHH MY GOD YOURE SO RIGHT ACTUALLY HYACINTH ANON sorry i took so long to get to this sobs. yes yesyes id like to think sorcerer was with them before but left the scene like nanami and never truly kept in touch with the students at tokyo high. id also like to think this happens before the actual series starts (ages 24 - 25) bc gojo might still be honing his technique and theres still that playful banter at that age. god and they have a school reunion and he does some annoying crap dude.... utahime is DEFINITELY debriefing with you after that whole thing. shes by your side the whole night recalling on the stupid shit gojo did as a hs kid, when he collapsed that mansion without putting up the veil. you had to calm her down LMFAO

but at the reunion there was alcohol and you both get hiiiiigh and all things get 18+ almost immediately, talking about how gojo def cant find the clit and he fingers women wrongly and cant make any use of his dick thats probs small 😭😭😭 which is like ... you also have an inkling that he might not be that small because he is .... 2 metres tall but ya never know with how cocky gojo is. and that inkling is gone instantly when u hear him talk cause his voice is so ANNOYING and dripping with cockiness. he also has that certain lilt in his voice that you realise he uses only with you, overly teasing and silky smooth and u hate how you notice that

gojo is fucked up as well, u know he doesnt hold his liqour well but hes sober enough to ask “wanna see what im all about?” and you especially hate how you look around to see where hime is at and when u just catch a glimpse of her heading into the bathroom, youre nodding slowly and you do nooooot know what youre getting urself into !

needless to say, gojo is already getting u so hot and bothered just from a simple kiss. he warped you two back to your apartment (bc he rather die than get found out by megs and tsumiki), which he has been to before !!!!! gods even the tension back then was so palpable but gojo was in a vulnerable place with geto and everything and didnt want to do anything that would hurt his heart more. you two make out for A WHILLLEEEE and if ure wondering if hes alr so good at kissing, what else is he good at ....?

youre proven wrong time and time again when gojo goes striaght for your clit, rubbing slow circles and he has u begging for more, more something just mere rubs. gojo has the gall to lick a stripe up your soaked panties and sucks a little at your clit and god he is LOVING the way all your previous insults about him fall short of your lips and doesnt have the same punch: “still doesnt prove your dick’s b-big—” gojo lips your panties to the side and eats you out. he eats. you. out. to prove a point but also he falls in love with your pussy, slobbering all over it and shit. “didnt tell my your pussy was so good, baby.” “cat got your tongue? do i live up to your standards?”

you realise hes cocky for a reason and that his tongue game is fucking insane. the same goes for his fingers, locking eyes when he first inserts his digits in and your moan is like heaven to gojo bc he likes nothing more than to prove people wrong. and this is the best way to do it !!!! “cum on my tongue, sweetness.” oh YOU DO !!! YOU DOOOOOO

and then you think gojos done with making his statement. nah. youre so fucked out just from oral and hes smirking down at you, bringing your hands to his crotch.

“what?”

“wan�� you to open my pants yourself.”

“so it’s small?”

gojo scoffs with a smile, he already finds himself addicted to you and your taste. “no. just curious to see your surprised face.”

it gets him off every time (even after dating. and cmon dont tell me you WONT be his gf or at least his fwb after this?) you react like that, mouth open and eyes never leaving his exposed cock that he could probably slam it inside.

wee woo and once he starts to fuck you ooohhhhhhggggghhh eveyrthing you say is INCOHERENT. you try to string words together, insults and name calling here and there but it’s always interrupted by moans and whines. “you’re so— mmhfuck— insanely anno— satoru!” its words and words but none of them make sense. youre drunk on his cock. he fucks you in every position imaginable and the first time he wants to pull out bc he isnt an asshole, you're trapping him between your legs and begging him to cum inside, inside, inside WOOOOWWW HE GOES INSANE.

“i’m on the pill, s-satoru! wan’ your cum inside, please, please—”

“you’re driving me fucking c—crazy. i will, i will.”

anyway yeah you guys go multiple rounds and youre rendered speechless at every turn, surprised at yourself that even when youre spent youre sinking down on his cock and riding him yourself right after you both came. everythings sticky and gross and gojos still sensitive but hes hooked on your pussy and lets you do whatever <33

the next morning u wake up caged in his arms and hes saying something annoying again. “wanna make this a regular thing?” and you attempt to reject him, pushing him away and getting up from your bed but youre sore everrywherreeee and he swoops in just as youre about to fall. “dick too good, huh?” you roll your eyes and just let yourself be pampered by him. you spend that next day just making out and being close to each other and u wonder what to tell utahime LMFOAAOAOA

you end up getting a few missed calls after gojo had sent a selfie of you both, blanket covering your naked bodies after doing the obvious and he just chucks ur phone to the side and continues to kiss you LMAOAOAOAO. oh sigh thats such a nice scenario maybe ill write it properly one day

hello hello!

[calciumdeficientt]

Wade and Tom hcs pleaseeeee 🙏🏽🙏🏽🙏🏽

I lov u wade i lov you tom. I actually have a whole post of tom hcs that you can check out here:

but i for sure have a few left in the tank!!!!!!1! Im gonna spritz some of my remaining tom ones, release my wade ones unto the world and then zoom in a little on their relationship >:D

TOM GURNEY AND WADE MARTIN HCS

TOM GURNEY

Skin picker. Big time skin picker. He just cant seem to help himself, its sort of a nervous tic. If he could just leave his fucking face alone for five minutes his acne would have cleared up a long time ago. Most of the marks on his face are actually just scars because he wont stop PICKING!!!!!

Saw the hobo get beamed up after the last fighting moves mission, i know this is pretty much canon atp but i think what would make it so much more batshit is if it had happened in BROAD DAYLIGHT. And no one other than tom gave a fuck. He comes out with all kinds of stupid conspiracy shit on the daily so no one even thinks to try and argue. They’re all like “yeeeah okay buddy whatever you say..”

Very emotionally mature, because of this he’s very painfully aware of all his shortcomings. He’s a good dude at heart but its aside pf him people never see. He’s pretty well renowned as the clique tapper, but honestly, he only talks so much because he doesnt wanna worry his friends by being all quiet and mysterious.

WADE MARTIN

MAAAAAAJOR little brother syndrome. He and Christy are only a year or so apart (possibly projecting bc that’s the gap between me and MY brother) but he gives me the vibe of a little kid who feels the need to show off because he’s younger. His general demeanour and outlook on the world tells me that he’s sort of crying out for attention and to some degree, help. He talks a lot about repeated suspensions, and the fact that no one seems to care about them anymore, and also the fact that he’s not doing all that well in his classes. He’s a kid that neeeds intervention, a firm shove in the right direction… and maybe some counselling. He’s practically jumping up and down on the spot yelling ‘LOOK AT ME! LOOK AT MEEE!’

More family hcs, but he and Christy only share their father. They have different mothers. Both women aren’t really in the picture beyond what the custody laws state they have to be. Christy’s mum left her with their dad when she was a baby, and Wade’s mum was his side piece. They divorced when Wade was 11. He hates both their guts for separating in what was a pretty tumultuous transition period in his life. If I’m getting my numbers right, 10-11 is the transition from elementary school to middle school. It was during this time that Wade started to struggle, he was a gifted student in his early years, and thus was left to his own devices. Because of that lack of support, his grades slipped and slipped and slipped, he just barely passed the entrance exam to get into Bullworth, and then started outright failing.

His hyper sexual voice lines are a way of deflecting away from how he really feels. Encouraged by his father, Wade feels he has to be this big, macho guy. He’s been brought up by his dad to believe high school is all about chasing tail and finding someone willing to have your kids straight out of the gate. In his head, Wade’s not about that at all. He wasn’t quite ready to be a man, he’d have liked a few more years of being a kid. Manhood is this big, scary, complex thing that he’s not ready for yet.. especially if its anything like Mr Martin tells him it is.

Takes great pride in his hair, but he does dye it. You can’t be a ginger bully, that’s like a spoon with holes in it or concrete scuba flippers. It doesnt work, its weird. It’s ugly. He and Trent do their hair together, he trusts Trent with it more than he trusts himself, the kid has been bleaching his own hair since he was 12, he’s a professional. And besides, he’s not gonna pay someone in a salon to dye it, what if he gets caught????

WADE AND TOM

They’re very close friends, I think wade was one of Tom’s first friends at Bullworth, back when he was this scrawny, quiet kid with a big ol birthmark over his eye. Wade had intended to beat the crap out of him to show him what was what, he looked weak and easy to snap. All brittle like a wafer cookie. Upon seeing his eye, Wade wrongfully assumed that someone has beat him to it, and knowing what a tumultuous home life could do to a kid, he invited Tom to come sit with them at lunch and he just… never left.

They really remind me of Troy and Abed from community dynamic-wise. One emotionally mature, but mildly childish dude (Tom) and one smarter than he appears meathead (Wade). Where they differ from Troy and Abed is instead of building blanket forts and acting out TV shows, they give swirlies and smoke cigarettes like they’re going out of fashion. “…” “…” “you wanna go do burnouts in the train yard dont you Wade” “Get OUUTA MY FRIGGIN BRAIN MAN! How’d you know that?!” “Lucky guess.”

Closer with each other than anyone else in the bullies clique. They lay on the roof after curfew and talk. For HOURS. They’ve been doing it for so long now that they’ve started smuggling sleeping bags and blankets up there so they can just sleep once they’re done. Wade likes that he can be open with his troubles about home., his many many troubles. Every day there’s a new home trouble. Tom talks about his fears about the secrecy at Bullworth and his theories, he feels like Wade is the only one that even bothers to TRY and see his point of view. Wade cries a lot during these little almost-therapy sessions. And Tom is right there with him, patting his back and wiping his tears. It’s cute.

Garage band duo. Tom is the drummer, Wade plays the three power chords he knows on his busted up hand-me-down Stratocaster that can barely plug into the amp anymore and really desperately needs new strings, and screams into the mic. It’s pretty hardcore, but it doesn’t actually sound all that bad. They work pretty well as a two piece and have played a total of four gigs, but its always been foe them anyway. They don’t wasn’t the gig money or the fame, they just wanna rock out.

[unprofessionalprofessionalbinger]

Put it down Spencer Reid x fmc

Big shout out to everyone that liked my first little writing. Y'all give me motivation <333 summary: Spencer suffers silently, thinking nobody notices. He's wrong. Spoilers for criminal minds season 2 episode 12

tw: cursing, drug abuse, addiction, eating disorder(?), short little hint at selfharm

"Don't you think Spencer has been acting weird lately?" I ask Morgan concerned. I let it slide the first three weeks. It isn't something small to get kidnapped by some crazy guy with three personalities. It wouldn't be unusual for Spencer to act weird or close himself off a little. But he's done such a 180. The only thing that stayed is his awkwardness. Sweet Spencer Reid sassed at me multiple times the last weeks. He even insulted me (I made a joking jab at him and he told me I'm wasting the precious oxygen a tree is tiredlessly producing)

His hands are shaky. He fumbles more. He rants less. He's gone colder and quieter. He scratches his arms through his sleeves and seems tired and unfocused. He's also gotten paler. And thinner? "He won't talk to anyone, it worries me, what if he needs help but can't bring himself to ask and then one day it'll be too late and-" Derek quickly interrupts my ramble before I go any further down the rabbit hole.

"Hey, pretty girl, relax. I'm sure he'll be fine. He just needs some time to really get back, y'know? Hankel did quite the number on him, you saw how Reid's foot looked." His voice is soothing. He always has that soothing tone. But it doesnt work. My mind easily picks words and the way they sounded apart and leaves only the cold, harsh truth behind.

"Exactly what I mean! He was digging his own grave and then had to shoot a man he pitied! That's horrifying! I don't expect him to be fine, but I sure as shit expect him to talk to one of us. Better, all of us. Not at once. But it's important. Who does he trust? JJ. He trusts JJ. I should go ask her if she knows anything." My tone is determined as if nothing could bring me from that path.

"Go ask if JJ knows what?" Prentiss. Prentiss joined not long ago. She's trying hard to fit in, but Gideon isn't exactly easy on her. Not that I can't relate. Looks like the only women he can stand are JJ, Greenaway and Garcia. Well, not that bad. But he's honestly a little... how can I say it? Different.

"Oh, it's nothing. Just about Reid. Do you know how he's doing?" I don't expect her to know. But I'm not shutting her out. She seems nice. At first I feared she was a nepo baby, but she definitely proves herself well. She had gotten sass from Spencer too. Honestly, for the lack of a better word, I'd say he's acting bratty. But I strongly doubt he enjoys whatever is happening.

"Well... last time I asked him what's going on with him, he told me quite clearly that I have no idea what I'm talking about, so I guess I'm not exactly the right person to ask, I'm sorry. I don't actually know him that well anyway." She seems genuinely sorry that she cannot help the issue. "It's alright, Em. I'm sure we'll get him back somehow." I reply with a gentle smile.

Turns out JJ doesn't know anything either. But I know. Not because he told me, but because it's obvious. Also, I'm pretty sure the others know too. Either they're in denial or just decided to ignore Spencer's obvious drug addiction and let him fight it himself or rott alone in his apartment. Great. So much for 'we are a family'. First Elle pulls the fucking card of just shooting the rapist. Then she has to leave? I mean, I'd get it if there was evidence, we couldn't have let that slide, legally speaking, but IA said it was legit. Self-defense. She got shot in her own home, she was traumatized and not ready to come back. Then she got pushed. Further and further. Instead of helping, the team just pushed her away. I can't let that happen again. Not to Spencer.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

I have been knocking on this damned door for ages now. I knock again. Maybe knocking is the wrong word. It had evolved into more of a banging. An angry woman opens the door a couple feet over and glares at me. I throw her an apologetic look and tell her I'll stop.

Just as I turn away, a muffled thump reaches me from the other side of the wood. My mind immediately spins. What if he's hurt? I knock one last time and call out "Reid?!" He doesnt answer. Without thinking, my hair is let down, pin in my hand. Then the pin is in the lock, next thing, the door is open. I step inside, gently close the door again, dump my bag and scan the room. My eyes quickly find the hunched over figure on the floor of the dimly lit room.

After closer looking, I notice the small bottle of medicine next to his thigh and the syringe tightly grasped in his hand. "Fucking hell, Reid put that down right now." He lazily tilts his head in my direction and squints weirdly at me. Dipshit is already higher than his IQ. He slurs a 'no' in my direction. "Don't make me hurt you." I say, half jokingly. With a few quick steps, I reach him. My fingers wrap frimly around his hand. His knuckles are white from how tightly he holds that damned thing. But that needle will not breach his skin again.

"Spencer. Please. Put it down." I say gently. It seems like he's high enough to not have that much willpower in him. He lets go and slumps back against the wall. I carefully put the drugs in my bag. He needs rehab. But that will cost him his job. He can't lose his job. It'd end him. The only way is to help him quit without getting forced by someone else's hand. I definitely need to have an insightful conversation with sober Reid.

Tomorrow. Tomorrow is when our few little paid vacation days start. Ten days without a case. It'd be a great time to start withdrawal. I leave a container with pasta, chicken and creamy sauce in his kitchen, put a post-it on it saying 'Call me when you're sober ~Romanov' and take his dilaudid with me.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

I should've expected that I wouldn't be able to sleep in until lunchtime. But hey, can't blame a girl for trying. My phone rings at nine and I pick up with a sleepy voice, not looking at the caller ID. "Are you seriously still asleep? Did breaking into my apartment and stealing from me make you that tired?!" Spencer's sassy voice reaches me through the phone. He sounds upset. I get it. I pinch my nose and sigh.

"No, actually, I'm just tired of getting shut out." I reply in the same tone. The line goes quiet for a while. "What do you want?" his voice is suddenly small and quiet, it breaks my heart. "I just want to talk, Goldie. Need some company the next couple days? I swear I'm great company." My voice is soft. An underlying plea swings in my words. "Depends. You got some more of that pasta? Haven't thrown up in two hours. And it's really good." I can't quite put what about his tone it is, but it makes my heart melt and I can't help my next words. "I could teach you. We could do a little cooking lesson. Promise I'll wash my hands really, really good." I add the last part teasingly, wanting to bring a little more lightness. "This is not a question, by the way, it's now officially an order. My place, four o' clock. I'll send you the address. Don't be late. You have to bring nothing but yourself in one piece. Don't think I didn't see that knife yesterday. You can't hide anything from me, Goldie." I hang up without letting him answer. I know Spencer Reid well enough. He'll show. He can't argue with me if I hang up, and if he doesn't show, he will 100% feel bad about it.

Morally problematic? Maybe. But it's for a good cause.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Alrightyyyy, this is it for tonight. Might be rushed. Isn't proofread. I again didn't write enough Spencer aghhhhh.

But tomorrow. I promise. I'll feed fluff. Cooking together and a little angsty talk. Cuddles, lot of trust aaaand more fluff!

Again, thanks for the support, every last little thing means the world to me. It is an honor to know people actually read my shit (even if it's only for Spencer)

Feel free to leave any kind of critisism <333

[cookiekitkat8484]

dipper hcs

This is super long, like 2000 words super long because i have a huge hyperfixation and cringe culture is dead. he reminds me of me and my friends/family so i have a million ideas. split into topics for reading convenience

low 20s, autistic, bi + demi with a preference for women, ftm. I totally understand people disliking ftm dipper because of stan and mabel making fun of his masculinity and it would be shitty in canon but this is my post so i make the rules bitch and am pretending that never happened. None of this is ship stuff. I imagine him to basically look like the lovley art in this post.  

shares an apartment with mabel in portland, completely full of nerd memorabilia, mabels diys, a conspiracy corkboard, and arts & crafts materials 

works in a bar/arcade where wendy bartends, calls soos and fidds when he needs help fixing machines

pet ferret called pippin

started his own journal 

pacificas plus one to her prissy rich person events, sit in the corner and shit talk

carries around fidget toys, was too embarrassed till mabel convinced him (partially because his pens kept exploding everywhere)

has protective runes tattooed 

mabel talks about astrology to be annoying, is baited into getting mad and rambling about how modern astrology is fake and a scam every single time

nervous driver, doesnt have a car but is sometimes driven by mabel in her heavily adorned funmobile 

helps mabel dye her hair after a three am hair emergency, got really good and bleached pacificas (she refuses money from her parents after moving out) till she decided to chop it and grow it out natural, used to have the ultimate gossip sessions

joint problems and pain, god awful posture

one sided beef with all of mabels partners till they “prove themselves”

doesnt believe in cooking like he (mainly) used to not believe in laundry

punched someone for making fun of mabel, got beat up so mabel kicked their asses (thank you stan and wendy)

only social media is reddit, an instagram account made and run by pacifica, youtube, and a tumblr on nerd/mystery stuff 

only has tumblr bc candy convinced him in like 2014 then he succumbed to the brain rott, they're mutuals and make weird references no one else gets, personalises blog extensively via html/css, had a brief superwholock phase in 2015 (fight me)

coded mabels laptop into a custom 2000s esc blinged out hellscape she made in graphic design class, got her rgb stuff bc she likes rainbows and he thinks its funny

occasionally clashes with mabel bc shes sensory seeking and he gets sensory overload

pacifica takes him clothes shopping bc otherwise he will literally never buy new clothes, they sometimes go thrifting with mabel the thrift god

mildly dyslexic and in denial

needs glasses but usually wears contacts because he finds them annoying then forgets to take them out, wears glasses when he misses the grunkles

Sugar addict like mabel and their pantry shows it 

Best nerd shirt collection like that's all he wears

Gets into online arguments way too much for like no reason 

Mabel makes like ten different protective friendship bracelets with unicorn hair so he could have options, just wears all ten at once

uni

journalism major with a minor in computer science 

takes history, pure maths, and film units as electives 

member/helps run the clubs for DnD/DD&MD, MTG, Warhammer, and scifi & fantasy appreciation

founder and president of the uni cryptozoology, supernatural, aliens, and occult society

gets ford to proof read his writings/math and fidds his code

attends lectures for units hes not even enrolled in for fun

has gotten into multiple arguments with professors, including ones that dont even teach him 

has read theory (all people who’ve read theory are annoying including myself)

hobbies

goes to cons with mabel, she helps with (/mainly makes for him) matching cosplays which bring the joy of their childhood trick or treating

once met spock and kirks actors and got so excited he passed out so mabel took pics of him on the floor next to them and thinks its hysterical

DMs an online DnD/DD&MD and ttrpgs group

competes in MTG tournaments 

does karaoke night with mabel and the gals atleast once a month, sometimes brings pacifica 

goes to the renaissance fair with the squad where him, mabel, ford, and soos all dress up and get super into character with melony while wendy and stan take shrooms and go to watch the sword fighting 

listens to DnD podcasts 

ex band kid and still plays Sousaphone, often to mabels dismay 

obsessed with boardgames and hosts boardgame nights, always makes everyone play super overcomplicated ones then has to play monopoly when its stan and mabels choice

almost always wins boardgames, sometimes loses to ford (who is a sore loser lol)

has had risk games last multiple days once its only him and ford left

bonds with mabel painting figures (warhammer, dnd, the usual) with her and soos and embraces her covering hers in glitter and gems

goes ghost hunting, has a shit tone of real gear from ford and fidds and sometimes vlogs, quotes buzzfeed unsolved

secret AO3 account, caught grunkle stan writing dutches approves fics but both have sworn an oath of secrecy 

wendy taught him skateboarding, doesnt do tricks (uncoordinated as shit) but uses it as transport

broke bc he cant resist collectables 

made his own pc from scratch using parts he bought and custom ones made by fidds

goes to local band concerts with wendy and her gang including watching wendy play drums

Did debate in highschool, usually gets nervous doing public speaking but gets so invested he forgets

tech guy for productions mabel is in

games 

loves all strategy and puzzle games

fav games include fallout 1&2, nethack, xcom, civ, FTL, and dwarf fortress

ford and fidds play games they used to play before the portal accident with him eg. zork, MUD1, rouge, star trek, colossal cave adventure, and mystery house

plays portal 2 with ford and sometimes mabel

plays baldurs gate with mabel and she spent five hours doing character customisation, he plays wizard and she plays bard and both are total stereotypes

plays lethal company and phasmophobia with mabel, soos, wendy, grenda, and candy (goes as expected) (lots of screaming)

BDG unravelled fan and grew up on matpat but cant play fnaf or ddlc bc giffany 

had a breakdown playing dark souls and started crying at 2am so mabel banned it permanently

spectacularly bad at rhythm games but will play with mabel anyway and she completely sweeps, esp in arcades and just dance

play bishi bashi together and have broken the machine before

really good at retro arcade games, shares strats with soos and remembers all the combos for everything, helps kids beat levels at work

gets ford to help optimise game stats/teams/strats with the POWER OF MATHS !!!, has on occasion coded algorithms to assist 

forced everyone to play among us constantly for like three months straight

member of mabel, candy, and grendas chaotic nightmare of a minecraft server, usually offline and generally regrets it when he joins, more of a terraria guy

undertale kid

ports/emulates games himself, esp retro console stuff like old fire emblem, Zelda, earthbound

in the ace attorney fandom  

runs a server for online friends he plays games with

shows/movies

does annual lotr (extended edition) marathons with ford, mabel drifts in and out of watching because snacks and that legolas and arwin are both a “total smash”

loves scifi, including classics like star trek, star wars, ext.

watches doctor who with mabel (shes a david tennant enjoyer) including the super old stuff 

goes to old scifi/horror/fantasy rerun marathons, wendy joins depending on the films

watches scifi and mecha anime with soos, sometimes ford and fidds join

loves evangelion, knows cruel angels thesis in japanese, lowkey a shinji kinnie and is bullied ruthlessly 

watches candys exquisite curation of 90s shoujo with her, mabel, and grenda, wont admit he gets super into it but has been caught doing sailor moon magical girl transformation poses 

watched madoka magica with the gals and was kuybey hater #1 from the start

never shuts the fuck up about theories and guesses the end of movies unless mabel smothers him with a pillow

hate watches conspiracy theory/ghost hunting shows with wendy bc theyre either laughably wrong or so close and totally missing the obvious, except this one random guy who was somehow spot on (like doug forcett in the good place) 

Made to watch all of twilight at a girls night because mabel (mostly) watched lotr, cant stop overthinking the insane lore implications which somehow get worse with every book fact mabel tells him (because what the fuck ???? the world building is batshit), him and candy keep periodically saying effervescent and bursting into hysterics to the others confusion

still quotes star wars bad lip readings with mabel

books

favs include hitchikers guide to the galaxy, discworld, lotr, do androids dream of electric sheep, earthsea, dune, and HP lovecraft esp cuthullu 

him and ford have both read the salmirilion and make it everyones problem

likes classic scifi and early cyberpunk, esp spec fic thats wacky or raises ethical questions to ponder with ford

loves sherlock homes and agatha christie, big who dunnit story fan

read good omens bc mabel likes the show (again, david tennant enjoyer) and its terry pratchet, tries to get her to read the book for ages and eventually she listens to the audiobook

music

likes lemon demon, TWERP, starbomb, NSP, tally hall, will wood, and other nerd bands 

owns spirit phone on vinyl, made ford listen and accidentally gave him flashbacks

can and will recite the entirety of the ultimate showdown of ultimate destiny at the drop of a hat

went through a midwest emo phase, still listens to csh

listens to vocaloid with candy, went to a concert with the gals and everyone learnt the dances, mabel deccorated their light sticks 

always ends up belting (B)ABBA when drunk

Fav (B)ABBA songs are disco girl and under attack 

weezer defender, bullied by mabel and wendy

listens to math rock with ford while stan complains the time signatures and polyrhythms (though he’d never bother to learn the terms) give him a headache 

listens to game OSTs and chiptune stuff

mabel got him into musicals, knows the words to hamilton, bmc, and dear evan hansen, sing duets together

trans 

once forgot to take off a too small binder for like two days and fainted, mabel made him a custom one

short king, used to have hight dysphoria

mabel alters his pants bc mens trousers are evil for the transmasc gang

didnt shave ever when he first got his wiskers till pacifica staged an intervention 

forgot to tell stan he was trans till he got body hair and stan joked it was his genetics to thank, dipper responded he was lucky they worked with the T he takes

drinking/drugs

cant smoke weed or he gets suuuuper paranoid, only smoked once w wendy and tried to smoke more to calm down but just ended up greening hard

drinks alcoholic ginger beer and indie APIs wendy recommends, though shes more of a whisky gal

super low alcohol tolerance, doesnt drink often

drinks mabels own recipe cocktail monstrosities when she convinces him they wont get shitfaced, always ends up shitfaced because theyre 100% alcohol + sugar and mabels tolerance is like double his, will always eventually end with him trying to explain lotr poorly

once drank so much caffeine he started hallucinating 

tripsits mabel (LSD legend) and sometimes wendy (totally does shrooms), again is neurotic and should under no circumstances take hallucinogens 

sometimes smokes cigs when stressed, tries to hide it but is laughably bad, sometimes bums a cig off wendy

[lesbianralzarek]

Do you have any headcanons about ral zarek?

oh boy, do i!

im 100% sure that he built the thaumatic compass, but i think it would be funny if he had been approached by tez about it, assumed that tez would be the one to use it, and then made it kinda finicky and awkward on purpose so that tez would try to fix it and end up breaking it and being stuck on ixalan (and out of ral's hair) forever. he would probably be a lil sorry if he learned that vraska was the one who had to use it, but only a lil

he naturally has a more olive skin tone but he never goes outside so hes just sickly pale all the time

he goes to see hekara whenever shes performing a big role but he doesnt really care about anyone else so he does paperwork until one of his assistants points out when shes on stage so he can pay attention for a minute

didnt know that blue raspberries arent real because he consumes a lot more energy drinks than fresh produce

for a long time he only hired women so that he could put his bed and shit in the men's restroom that came with his lab. this meant that he only ever saw men at, like, gay bars and kinda became a bit of a misandrist sdfghhgfds. diversity win

in our world he would say that his favorite movie is the martian, which he does like, but its really fast and furious tokyo drift

"would you fuck your clone?" is not at all a hypothetical. the izzet league has cloning. ral has absolutely already fucked his clone

understands the threat that phyrexia poses. still really wants to know what he would look like as a phyrexian

the other planeswalkers who hadnt met him before wots think that hes really nice but hes actually just nice to them because hes a planeswalker supremacist

edited this one out because it directly contradicted canon (tho that canon makes no sense but w/e)

cannibal. not in the passive "well, im not gonna ask whats in this mystery food vendor meat" way that basically every ravnican is, but in the "actively seeks out human meat when available" way

cut off his own foot during an argument about how great izzet prosthetics are. he has built-in heelies now

hates pets but tomik has a lil thrull made from the skin of his dead parents, so ral cant convince him to get rid of him. his name is mosce and he wears a lil suit and sleeps at the foot of their bed during thunderstorms. he can understand speech but cant speak, just make weird whale noises. pets arent allowed in their apartment so tomik has him registered as his accountant

that is a kamigawa tattoo but because their magic tied to the land, it doesnt really do anything on ravnica besides look cool. while he was talking to the wanderer about planeswalking he excitedly explained all about kamigawa and the whole time she was just... staring at the tattoo that clearly telegraphs how he was part of the criminal underground there

likes theros in small doses, but doesnt like having to shit outside. the entire time he was there he batted his eyelashes real pretty at the abundance of queer men there so that he didnt have to buy anything. at one point everyone started calling him a son of keranos, so given how gods on theros only work on the basis of people believing in them, he was momentarily a demigod. his inflated ego still wasnt enough to make him stay

went full crazy ex on a guy by starting a fight because he was bored, driving his car-equivalent off a cliff, planeswalking away at the last minute leaving only an item of his clothing behind so that it becomes a "wheres the rest of the body?" cold case, and then planeswalking back a decade later wearing all white so that its unclear if hes a ghost or not and the guy never knows closure

"how does someone as kind and well-behaved as tomik end up with someone like ral?" tomik is the stand-in boss for the catholic mafia. he is also a lil fucked up

ral is, like, genuinely actually nice to the people he likes. this one is canon but i just felt like reiterating. theres no weird scheme going on with him and all of his high-ranking friends (+ husband) in other guilds. sometimes bitches just have besties

he knows that vraska is dating jace. he knows that vraska fucks. for some reason he is unable to conceive of the idea that jace fucks

one time he bit off emmara's index finger and spit it back out at her. emmara says that shes willing to overlook it (lying) but ral doesnt feel like he was in the wrong there (he was) so he just gets mad every time she suggests burying the hatchet. "oh, how noble of you to demand that i forgive you for all youve done to me!" etc etc. homophobia doesnt exist on ravnica except for emmara, who invents new slurs every time she sees that man

[swagging-back-to]

the way im still reeling from just how much my sister let me down

rant incoming bc im genuinely still mad

like i dont even know how to describe this feeling. 'let me down'is such an understatement.

i went into the weekend knowing it was gonna be awful bc she had just started taking ketamine from her psychotic male friend and was planning on bringing all sorts of psychedlics and hard drugs like ket and molly to a party thats like 2hrs away from either of our houses and in a place we dont know.

she didnt tell me if she needed a place to sleep till half an hour before she was gonna get there and i still hadnt eaten any food at all yhat day. so i had to clean the guest room with all my roommates shit piled to the ceiling and cook at the same time. AND THEN SHE NEVER EVEN STAYED TO SLEEP.

she parked like half an hour away from the party right next to the worlds shadiest and darkest park in existence that had 5 guys just standing behind trees watching us go to the car. and then she wanted subway so we walked like half an hour to subway just for her to decide "im not actually hungry teehee"

and when i was like nah im gonna go eat now if youre gonna play this shit before we even go to the party. we go into an asian restaurant and SHES NEVER FUCKING BEEN IN ONE? all she eats is spaghetti and mac and cheese. didnt even know what a fucling spring roll is. she ate it (a THAI STYLE SPRING ROLL!!!!) like it was a lump of shit. like she ripped it apart with her hands and picked at it with a grimace. i verbally called her out on how stupid that is multiple times.

and then she got mad at me when i tried to tip the waiter everything i had in my wallet ($4) and tried to say i shouldnt tip at all. and in the same breath shared how whenever she doesnt get tipped she wishes death on the person. im actually very anti tipping and i never tip unless im with someone else and they do it. so i was like "he either gets four dollars or he gets fucking nothing. thats whats in my wallet so thats what he gets."

and she asked if ice has gluten in it which is genuinely the dumbest diet question ive ever been asked and ive had dozens of people try to tell me chicken and fish are vegetabels.

she waited until we were right at the door to pop open her fireball and then was like "yeah what if i just throw it on the ground in front of a hundred people and two cops" as if both of us arent underage.

speaking of underage <3 she left an entire box of twisted tea in the car for 3 hours completely unlocked while the cops prowled the streets ♡♡♡♡♡ said she doesnt see why the car needs to be locked even tho it had her id hanging from the mirror with big bold letters saying 'not even 20'

then when we were about to be jumped by the guy following us she kept doing like. the exact opposite of what you should do. kept screaming loudly "omg youre sober!?!?!?!" whenever i would say 'yeah im sober enough to get the fuck out of this place we need to fucking leave'. even as a COP WAS RIGHT NEXT TO US.

and when i was begging her to call the people she knew in the area she called them each one time. never explained the situation. to the point one of them thought she was just joking (which says a lot about how she normally acts that he thought she was joking). and then looked at me like i was being unreasonable for telling her to just CALL THEM and TALK TO THEM so we arent just two high women stumbling down the street quietly. it only ended up happening because she accidentally butt dialed one of her fwb and then was too embarassed to tell him she was with me [her sister] (called me 'some friend') and refused to even look at me when she was talking to him.

and this isnt even the entire fucking event. this is just the main points.

im just genuinely scared to be moving in with her at this point, not knowing whether she'll willingly bring back a predatory male or if she'll take hard drugs in my apartment (im the primary tenant and pay almost all the bills. it's my apartment.) or if she's gonna try to out my dogs to the landlord and get them evicted because "i just dont really like small dogs at all." or if shes gonna quit her job just like 'oh and btw i wont come in tomorrow bc this place is shit and i dont think one of my coworkers'despite not having any job lined up afterwards (she has actually done this!!!) and refusing to get a job closer or better paying because "oh maybe in the warmer months illthink of it" ??????

like she is just so.untrustworthy and so outrageously just.... not all there. even just the few things ive told my case manager makes her go 'is she diagnosed as bipolar? she sounds like my unmedicated bipolar clients."

like yepppp she sure fucking does. im pretty sure our bio mother was a bipolar schizophrenic (schizo diagnosed but idk about bipolar)

[monards]

hi snuggle muffin

so you said Alicia is mysterious right now but like..how?? i played the game and this bitch is just kinda open. like,, dead gf, mean, somehow has gray hair. everything kinda checks out so like maybe explain a little more???? also,, what is she to bureaucracy?? bc she seems to not like him very much. oh and, what happened with beargrass and his family? since they were like. rude gazillionares or whatever

hiiii electtra; ilysm fooor this ask because i love the chance to be a little annoyying about my favorite mean women (even though you just made me go through hell with your other one.)

youre absolutely right about her being open, but the thing is that it feels more like the false-openness. Like, realistically,, the player really only knows most this stuff from context clues!! Techincally, she never techincally admitted to having a dead gf, but beaford literally just made a wlw and dried lilys joke and alicia freezed up like a fish out of water. So. You sorta realize.

Also, we really only know tidbits of her motives and stuff, but thats it. theyre only small bits. She has a board in the office about a hotel incident from three years ago; is it just a random story? Is it something she was apart of? Did dried lily girl die in it? What about it ??? ALICIIA PLEASE!!!!!! Plus, her motives to bringing Beaford back on the surface ARE what she says it is. Repay for making Alicia go through that shit because he got possessed by some demon. But also; he's probably one of the first examples of the supernatural ACTUALLY being the supernatural in her experince. And what do we know she is?? Skepticle of the super natural. So seeing a whole ass demon possess this really pathetic college drop out is defiently something Alicia finds horribly important considering shes searching for some proof to the super natural. Because really guys.. do you think Alicia Wilkershire went to her highschool guidance counselor sayng she wanted to be an ordained minister and excorist? Yeah, no. That is NOT how it works!!!!!

Alsoooo, i think her and beaford have both a really complicated and a really simple relationship simultaneously. Because on one hand; they are what they are on the surface. Beaford works for Alicia to pay back for the shit he pulled with that demon possession thing. On the other hand; there's WAY more than that.

Alicia is not a very warm and kind person, by like, any means. She's over six feet tall, spicaze herself described her as mean, and she literally repeteadly kicks at beaford WHILE HES DOWN even after the demon stopped possessing him actively. But shes seen being at least a lot kinder with beaford. She watched that one anime with him not even a month into knowing him (even if she bemoans it, actively) and even went far enough to find a reedeeming quality in it (I.E the fashion) !!!!! She lets him poke fun at him (even though, to be fair, she absolutely decks him everytime he does.) And to be frank; this is not stuff that Alicia do with just any person. We can tell shes awkward with most clients; but even when first meeting beaford, she was way more casual and comofortably speaking then she does with Naomi (who she has to lean back on Beaford to talk to !!!!)

Obviously this doesnt take away fromt he fact Alicia IS still a bit (very) mean to beaford. But it's just. Way different from how she treats others. Which is why I'm very convinced its because Beaford reminds her of dried lily girl; especially consdering the aspect of how they have VERY similar speech traits and personailities in regards to Alicia (Poking fun at her, seeing her differently than others do, etc..) especially consdering the conversation we see in the knife ending where Alicia is (presumably) speaking to dried lily in the after life.

Also. I'm pretty sure its canon that Beaford just up and left without saying anything. His family is obviously very rigid in the fact that theyre all doctors and expect the same from Beaford. Plus considering his shock at seeing the photo of him and sister still in his sisters room-- I can really only presume his home life wasn't really the best. So him just up and leaving isnt too shocking/unwarranted

Anyways I really lvoe these two and i'll probably make a post later about them. Thank you Electra. Your sins have been forgiven.

[quarktrinity]

quark watches star trek season 1 episode 22

spirk flirting

hahahahahahha these writers thought space travel would happen in the 90s

how can they tell if people are breathing on that ship

WORLD WAR III IN THE 90S???? IT WAS ABOUT EUGENICS?????

mccoy and spock bickering. i reiterate: mccoy thinks this is hot, spock doesnt give a shit

whos this lady am i supposed to care about her

spaceship coma pods look like those japanese pod hotels

scotty would "love to tear this baby apart" (he means the earth ship)

hahahahahahahahaha these writers thought we could travel past light speed in 2018

this girl was ogling kirks tits i think

scotty dont say "oriental"

what is this dude wearing. is this like a fucking gold mesh onesie. its so slutty

dudes been asleep for 200 years. ok

oh my god his tits

why did we need to know how many of the sleeping pod people were women

the 90s were a violent part of our history apparently

this dude is a Super Human from the Eugenics Era. horrifying!

i swear this guy had longer hair a second ago

god this episode better not be racist about this dude being indian

mccoy is so funny. gives advice to the dude choking him about how to kill him by cutting a certain artery. alright man.

they have this dude in the sluttiest shirt ive ever seen. full cleavage

he better not be evil

his name is khan? wasnt there a movie about this dude. and his wrath

this doesnt bode well

spock talks abt how having greater ability translates to greater ambition. yeah i think khan is evil

khan leave the girl alone. why are you being so mean.

dont touch her hair!!!

dont grab her like that!!!!

UGH SHE THINKS THIS IS HOT

why is kirks formal attire green

wow khan is incapable of wearing a non-slutty outfit

him making out with that girl would be fun if the music wasnt so sinister about it and also if he wasnt grabbing her so much

yeah hes definitely evil

star trek says dictatorships bad

Blue Drink

khan has just constant cleavage

suddenly khan is all about consent

suddenly consent is all about asking permission

i hate him

the image of an indian man seducing a white woman to take control of her just isnt that great. like i know its the 60s but still

ok khan was a literal dictator in the 90s

spock says dictatorships bad

so how about we just shoot this guy out into space

khan says eugenics good

i get hes evil and this plot is compelling but why did he have to be Notably Not White

khan doesnt have cleavage anymore :0 terrifying

woooaaahh khans escaped???? thats craaaaazyyyyy

suffocation before surrender

why didnt khan just kill them

good to see a brown dude extra among the good guys so we know the casting director wants us to think theyre not saying all brown dudes are evil

uhura is so cool. go girl

how is kirk a damsel in distress so often

khan hates friendship

"the captain is dead" no hes not

thank you for betraying khan history girl your horniness has not completely taken over your soul

"captain ive saved your life but please dont kill him" nevermind i hate you

Deadly Neurotoxin

show of brute strength by bending phaser like a spoon is sillier than khan thinks

yes kirk kill him with your thighs

/whacks u with a tube/

WHY ARE YOU LETTING HIM GO

WHY ARE YOU GIVING HIM THE OPPORTUNITY TO TAKE OVER A PLANET

WHY

history girl i hate you. dont go with him. idiot

JUST KILL HIM

UGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

welp. see you later khan. and your wrath.

paradise lost reference was ok

[lexa-griffins]

Hello again 🥰 milf Lexa anon here

Can you talk about Lexa's struggles and insecurities with herself and her body after the divorce and when she started seeing Clarke?

Now this... this holds a special place in my heart. Because Lexa has a lot of struggles with her body. Which is something that she never had growing up. I mean she was the athletic type of kid, she never really had issues with stretch marks with too much fat where she didn't want it, she had abs and was head cheerleader.

Lexa looks like a mom. She's still a small woman but she does have all the signs of two pregnancies, stretch marks on her stomach, her legs, her hips, her butt and her boobs. Her stomach is definitely not flat, it has that pouch to it, it sticks out a bit and it rolls. Her boobs sag more now, her arms do a little flap and her thighs and butt will fight her in any jeans she buys. She's very soft looking, even her jaw isn't has sharp as it once once. She's not just a milf in name, she really does have the soft cuddly body to go with it 🥺

The first post-pregnancy, although leaving some insecurities in Lexa, was fine. She managed to go back into working out and her stretch marks were soft enough where they didn't bother her unless she really started to pick at them. It's after Delilah's birth and the longer recovery time after the c-section as well as doing most of the caregivers work for a toddler and a newborn that Lexa started paying so much attention to how she looked and started to feel unattractive, with Jenny's horrible comments really not helping her at all.

After the divorce, Lexa become a little depressed. She felt like it was her fault for not trying harder to keep them together and that maybe she had given up too soon, on both the marriage and herself. She felt like a horrible mother anytime Alex would ask her why mama wasn't with them anymore or why he had to wait so long to see her again. Afterwards she was far too focused on trying to give her kids a stable home and making the new apartment actually feel like the home they had before. Her relationship with her body become distant, she avoided mirrors when she could because she could still hear Jenny's words in her mind and the last thing she wants is to have to focus on something that is so minimal in the grand scheme of things. Her kids were what was important, not her issues with her body that did nothing but give her the two people she adores the most.

For the next decade Lexa hides herself as best as she can. She makes sure every "problem area" is hidden and goes for a looser style, jeans and a slightly bigger shirt so it won't cling to any little roll on her body, dresses that make her feel like she's trying to hard to stay young, with patterns that distract from what's underneath. She does it rather unconsciously, if she can not think about her body she will and will just go by instinct. She tries to join a few yoga and pirate classes with Anya but she feels out of place there, mostly single women who have lively social lives or new moms who seem to have their shit together better than Lexa has years into being a mom. She also never dates, one because she doesn't want to and two because she cannot even fathom someone being attracted to her, physically or even just with the live she lives where she barely has time for herself, much less a girlfriend.

Before they start actually seeing each other, Lexa is shocked by the fact Clarke seems so attracted to her. Clarke is... Clarke. She's a gorgeous late twenties woman with a great career and a future so full of opportunities, Lexa doesnt understand why she is so interested in a relationship with Lexa whose life is settling down and really set in Lexa's eyes. She's not having more kids, she doesn't see herself moving out of her apartment, moving jobs, traveling the world, nothing of that sort. But Clarke looks at her and flirts with her in a manner that makes Lexa actually feel desirable again and she forces Lexa to stare at the mirror to try and find what Clarke sees in her. On the other side, it does make Lexa a little more self conscious, particularly when she realizes she's very attracted to Clarke to. Suddenly her clothes feel to lazy but she still doesn't have the confidence to go an buy ones that show her off more, not that Clarke needs them to stare at Lexa likes she's anything other than a goddess. Although it's not what solves it completely, when her and Clarke start getting more intimate and Clarke seems to adore every inch of her body, Lexa really sees how much Jenny fucked up Lexa's relationship with herself and her body and that with Clarke, she might be on the track to fix it, something she never thought would happen.

😌✊️ when I tell you Clarke refuses to let this beautiful woman think of herself as anything other than fucking perfect!! A MILF lover like no other!!!

[miraculoustrashblogger]

Just finished reading Murder of Mages by Marshall Ryan Maresca (book 2 of the Maradaine Saga, book 1 of the Maradaine Constabulary collection)

Second time reading this book, and so many of the plothooks i didn't grasp the first time fell into place here.

Spoilers ahead, you've been warned.

Still love my boys Evoy and Minox. And i remember why i started shipping Minox and Joshea. Minox being a Sherlock clone means he is also Autistic Ace coded, socially awkward but brilliant at pattern recognition and solving puzzles. Evoy even more so, being a shut-in too. Minox being the one person his cousin Evoy talks to just tears me apart. No one gets how deep into the red strings Evoy is, that its not madness of the hallucinatory variety, but that he is hyperfocused on these trails of a conspiracy in Maradaine and forgets to take care of his own needs in the process. Reading this the second time, hearing the pieces he is learning about and puzzling out, I can see it. The Grand Ten, the Brotherhood of Nine, missing women and children, etc. I know a lot of these pieces now and see that Evoy is laying groundwork of foreshadowing. Minox gets it, he sees some of the same pieces. He knows Evoy's work is digging up ugly and dangerous schemes beneath the city.

Minox being an uncircled, untrained mage, in a constabulary family that knows but doesnt talk about it. And Joshea being from a hyper-masculine military family that has no idea he is a mage. Both are such queer coded stories. The gay son that everyone knows is gay, and its the elephant in the room. The closeted gay son who is desperately hiding the truth from his father and brothers. And then Joshea's family being butchers now and (insert meat jokes here). Its just too easy 😂

Satrine. Satrine. Spitfire Satrine "Tricky" Rainey. Plucked from her life as a street kid and turned into a spy in the Waish nobility, still ready to brawl at a moment's notice. Her husband in his vegetative state. Her teenage daughters. Desperate to provide for them, when the only skills she has were a position she retired from 15 years ago, in a field she can't go back into. So she takes up the mantle her husband had, or tries anyways. Constabulary. Detective work. She's got the mind and skills for it. She's fast and eager to chase down fleeing criminals, and definitely too quick to beat them into submission. She's angry and could probably do with a therapist tbh. Its a bit refreshing to see a woman get to be angry and violent and not be forced into some ideal of decorum or "ladylike"-ness, and she's the first to break the nose of anyone who tries.

She respects Minox. She sees his intelligence and his eccentricities. She can keep up with him. She doesn't call him Jinx like everyone else, and he doesn't call her Tricky like everyone else. He sees her capability and fire and isn't bothered by the fact that she's the only woman inspector in the city, or that she had to forge her papers to get this position. And she doesn't care that he's a mage. He's still bothered when she uses his first name though- boy is nothing if not an adherent to manners!

Corrie. My girl Corrie. First in line to call her brother Minox on his shit. Her and Satrine sizing each other up in their first meeting by cussing up a storm was *chefs kiss*. Love her so much

Rian and Caribet. Satrine's daughters. Rian being into the boy, fine, sure, glad she saw the light that he was a shitter. Knowing what I know about her now? Even worse, yeah, no wonder Satrine lost her mind when she saw them on a date. Rian, girl, you got better things coming your way, and she's actually your age, unlike him ;) Caribet is such a sweet girl, just trying to hold her family together as her mom and sister fight and her dad is a vegetable.

Mirrell and Kellman. These two oafs. Idiots and bastards, but ready to crack the heads of their fellow (corrupt) officers given the chance too, and eventually overlooking Satrine's forgeries to save Minox. Theyre incompetent and sexist and racist (look, ACAB, but i love a good detective procedural story, so sue me), and yet. Kellman is quiet and indifferent, he does mean well but I know from later books he is trouble. Mirrell is upfront about his assholery, but even though he verbally is rude to Minox and Satrine, he knows they are good at their jobs and "have hearts of Green and Red". He knows they have the calling to be inspectors. I'm still glad Satrine broke his nose for being a jackass.

Rereading Thorn of Dentonhill, there was a lot of groundwork laid, but this one laid almost as much! Gods i love these books. They just get better and better as the story progresses.

Thats all for now, onto rereading Holver Alley Crew next week!

[fkyumerica]

Wed 11:04 AM

they looked loike this

already

before their kids were born

and plastic surgery

they will keep eating off peopleks faces

and fucking them to see the kid doesnt look like it

eat eating them out to look like it

oral

and eat out i dunno

one fat ass thought of it

inner toilets

restuarants

mission/vividaldi did

for his wife

and his mother died

the name was that

if they lost their name they were uncontrollable and did not listen

it was pass the food over let someone get som

e

they were smaller

they had a kalima no more

to control all of them in the day

all the women died

and none were

after

i judged it and said it

i was the only one who was

and led the women

still

every person on the world is just shit to me

i led the men too

and they are men too, they have a penis to suck out

and i ahve to do that

with them

to live

because no one takes care of their kid

to feed it

and

she cared too

half a face

will die soon

and a woman

look at her statue

statute

it meant

she gave it

what she looked like  can telll kill her

men said it everyday

around her

so she fucks everything up

and no one killed her yet

then she holds  down while on all fours

to rape  to death

to do it

a man knew it

she felt bad

now she doesnt care what she does to

and fucks  hard

face up

why fuck it up

when i can tear it off

and gay

go together with a friend

baby bear

tetsuo shima

and raise them apart

from others

and apart

split them up

gay too

used them anyways

for free shit

and food

they are them

and what moms killed them for free boats

and ride!

motorcycles racing ones are that

mom cant teach it or kill bugs off them

head lice

from one tree

in front of davids house

i can see it from inside this house

he broke in and ripped her face off

again

women couldent see yet till their faces were set up again

it hurt them so bad they couldent concentrate or pay attention

and she went to tank me by raping me

saying i was as big as them

and i could go killing with her

so i did

885 guidos

in under 10 minutes

under 10 seconds yea bigger

i got to 18ft tall in 3 seconds

and watch

nefertiti is it

aa womans name

she couldent believe it

that i got rid of my reproductive organ

and went to go at my face to look like hers

holding my eye open to understand what she felt like with her face off

and mutated with drugs

so i had to kill her

at 18ft tall

another giant no one cares rape her

vividaldi would say ot

so i killed him and his family and replaced them with anyone, kids making taller

was usually what a man did

a woman would lay down and get sex from them until she was taller, and old was it

she was old

and there is no more

Wed 11:40 AM

Do I Look Like A Real Boy Papa

this was the giant eating the guy

it movie

where is goat milk selled at

https://www.tube.com/watch?v=znFQkLCba5c what is this i want his album

(Hed) P.E. In Movies - Serpent Boy in Strangeland 1998

huh come out

carol had boyfriends

mike went in

angela went in and he suspended himself for her to get him them

and then carries mom was in it

then her mom

and hannibal lecter got both of them

daughter with her mother is that angela

and the boys after down the block

we suspended

up

me and leon

he is that gay guy i was talking about

he was revived again

mr.kukan

they are insane

they each need a different tunnel room

from a morgue

they are set in

do  need help?

play music for 17 minutes

then arrest him

straight jaket on him anyways

then he turned into a clayton

then brian

it is their family

me and leon were just gay raping men

others went as big

and got suspended

going after me to save me

and if they reached me

would rape me

i let leon lift me up if i was weaker

to show it

and it brings them out

and i have to fight kill everyone

and hit leon at the end in the face

and it usually isnt him

i go on gay missions

as a priest

and hey yea come out

what size

same voice

and they can shoot for 14 days if we want them to

blanks

keep knocking them out

who are they

never said it

they are wild woods men

they were banned from going on vacation

the old

and back in germany? if they go back

mate again

kids wont talk to them

their offspring

so they try again

more puppy photos

day by day

i want to see it

no one ever let me look

and outnumbered? kill them all too bad

they always did this

their kids age

or its snow white

from all of them

on r wife

and

grab r cock

he looked like her, it wwas like times 10

wanted him to be prettier and felt it made her prettier

[ravenkinnie]

I also relate more to Ken more than I do with barbie and its so crazy to me that its this way and kind of annoying too bcs for a movie that is meant to be for women yet again its also another movie where the writing for the male character feels more solid and put together than the female character.

like barbie's character is ok at the most part. like she has a goal and a motivation and her own character evolution but smthg ab her just doesnt click?

I agree, men just had the most developed and complete storyline, probably because they chose to make his arc basically the whole plot so it had to resolve. barbie gets kind of lost in that plot from like halfway point of the movie and then arrives at conclusion that makes no sense and comes from nothing - WHY would she want to return to real world, we had no indication of her strong feelings towards it except like one tiny moment an hour ago??

it's like there's a big gap from the set up of her character to the conclusion of it - gloria and sasha are also characters that have the same problem, they are set up and then reach a conclusion for their arc (sasha saving barbieland for her mom and gloria being like I'm weird and dark and that's okay like we have seen exactly zero indication that that's a part of her character apart from like buzzfeed edgy drawings where barbie has cellulite).

tbh I think they should have either kicked or minimised the mid feminist message plot and focused on the relationships between sasha and gloria and barbie, make gloria's designs and imagination something barbie can see and feel emotional connection to but also something she doesn't see HERSELF in - which shouldn't matter because she's barbie, a projection of what little girls want her to be but it doesn't feel right to her. then it would both make so much more sense that she wants to be human because she wants to be someone who creates and not just is the thing being created. it's also still a plot that keeps the themes of women choosing who they want to be and celebrating little girls' imagination as well as conveying the message that america ferrera says in that one interview about how women are expected to drop things that are just frivolous fun but men get to keep them

(a message that funnily enough all the barbies uphold because what they like is serious and cool and they are all Cool Girl Competent while what kens like is stupid and ugly and ruins the vibe. which is also something women can connect to more lmao like bitch I do care about zack snyders cut of justice league actually)

but the truth is that saying you can play with anything as long as you have imagination isn't a message that sells things and this is mostly a movie meant to sell dolls. when you want to both say and sell things all that's coming out of your mouth are marketing slogans and they will never be more than whatever phrase makes you want to spend money

also it has chronic greta gerwig responding to discourse disease, like they really spent 100 million to respond to tweets criticising barbie and that was literally not necessary at all because despite what gerwig says you really CAN'T do the thing and subvert the thing, one excludes the other and when you try to do both you end up unable to say anything that leans into either idea - and this movie proves it because in the end it doesn't do anything

also my flat is tiny and I only have a minifridge so when ken was talking about how minifridges suck I FELT that shit, the freezer space is literally NOTHING I miss having frozen vegetables SO MUCH

[ofsupernovcs]

There was a silence from Juri. The questions made him shut up. That's the problem with Krit wasn't it. He was so sly and knows how to o under the radar, that it makes Juri look like the madman. It happened to him in Thailand and no doubt it was happening again."No cop came to my apartment. I have cameras 24/7 and no one came." Juri said with a pure honesty he doesnt express. "Send whatever you can to rid of that nightmare." Juri said knowing that even if TJ didn't mean to he was utterly useless.

Juri facepalmed hearing that. "I was joking where the fuck are we getting chicken livers here? That's practically on the otherside of town." Juri signed expaserated. Juri would now because he does occasionally make grilled chicken livers. Juri would love to eat the very legal thing right now.

"On there..." Juri looked at TJ confused. "Team?" Juri blinked rapidly utterly confused about this predicament. While the witch didn't know how to process that. "I have more questions than answers you know that right?" Juri wasn't sure how much of this was true.Juri paused. "I think we're getting into speculation territory here. Look if theyre happy they are happy. I know we've been raised differently but let's not shit talk their union. It wasn't long ago when we couldn't get married. And our ancestors didn't fight for our rights so we would shit on others" Juri paused.

"Look lets not drag her looks either. She's probably pissed at you for something you did, knowing you." Juri pointed out. He wasn't even taking a side but even Juri knew better to make assumptions. Juri for his part was trying to alleviate this scenario.

Juri didn't know the interacies of TJ's relationship, he knew the most shallow things which were a) they are both fucking weirdos and b) theyre different ethnicities. So ultimately he had to tread carefully. "Then don't ask him until you feel ready." Juri said. "This isn't some weird bachelorette spin off where you two gotta get hitched as fast as possible. Just enjoy each other's prescence and let that be." Juri advised. Juri looked around.

"My father expects to meet a nice Siamese suitor any day now." Juri whispered. And obviously it wasn't going to happen since Juri hadn't step foot in Thailand since Krit and the only Siamese person he knew was unfortunately Krit. "Sometimes traditions got to be broken."

Juri had an odd look on his face as a little spark flew off his hand. "Yah you stupid man you shocked me." Juri whined. He dramatically placed his hand again on TJ feeling something weird. There was a look on his face. "You keep saying these foxes are brides or vengeful women.....why aren't we looking for men."

"No, what you just did is weirdo behavior." He motioned back to the whole proposing thing. He ignored the insults and remarks. He wasn't concerned about them, but he was concerned about Juri for whatever reason—slugs. "Are you okay? Like, seriously?" He tilted his head in question as he looked at Juri. "You keep calling the station about some ghost. I had officers survey your shop and your house, but they didn't catch anything. Heck, I even sent a detective to talk to you." Using his top-tier detective skills, he gave Juri the only viable option. "I think you need an exorcist."

Shaking his head at the idea of trapping foxes with churros, that was all wrong, but he'd share his knowledge. "Nah, foxes eat human hearts and livers... but we could try chicken? I think foxes like chicken." It was chicken or nothing because the idea of trying to get a human heart or liver was both illegal and disturbing.

"Too bad, man. The Mikaelsons already got me, and I'm on their team, helping them with the OEA. And I'm not being disloyal or anything. I'm just saying Briggs being a married man doesn't fit the profile. But then he did say love can conquer, so maybe I'm wrong about him." He'd have to leave it at that—but yet. "I'll leave it because Brigg's wife is scary as hell—the way she looks at you. It's like you're looking right at a Grim Reaper or something." That Grim Reaper was likely to kill TJ if she overheard, as would Briggs, and maybe Klaus, so he had to hope no one heard it.

As for his own relationship, it was a hell of a lot to unpack, especially the history of the Koreans and the Japanese and the thought of binding these cultures into a union. "When my dad says no, it's absolute." TJ hadn't even asked his father, but there was no argument to be had. His father held values just as TJ did, in that they were the most similar. Breaking these values they held was an impossible ask. Not even slugs could conquer.

As for him being used for imaginative scenarios, he'd rather not continue. "You're welcome, I guess." That was all he could say as he then reached for Juri's hand to help him to his feet.

[magnoliamyrrh]

hearing my professor say "sex workers" in class after and while literally and explicitely talking about nonwestern victims of sex trafficking using those terms like. im gonna eat my own tongue. im gonna scream so loudly and so silently it will burst my lungs. im going to become a black hole.

in general i find that term to be so fucking offensive bc it can only maybe apply to a very very small minority of well off economically privileged women who "choose" to do "sex work" (and even many of them talk abt feeling exploited - almost like prostitution is inherently expolitative wow) but. you know sometimes those "sex workers" are the only ones ppl rly picture, they dont picture street prostitution, hitckhiker hookers, sex trafficking, child sex trafficking, that the averege age of entering prostitution is 14, drug addiction, pimps, constant violence, etc

but. dear lord help me. in the context of literally taking explicitely about victims of "sex" trafficking in relation to poverty. to still have this postmodern god forsaken fucking nightmare so dug into your hear you say SeX WoRkErs;;; I ;;; I. Honestly im so offended. Its so fucking offensive. Like i almost wanna fucking cry. And she aint even white lmao shes indian like maam as a fellow immigrant please stop parroting the western bullshit i beg you. its so god damn fucking offensive and this bullshit is passed off as progressive and right and parroted by professors and taught as a given and preached and taught uncritically and then parroted by students and then. someone posts it online and some idiot reads it tells it to another idiot who tells it to another idiot. And then this insanity affects the whole westenrn "FeMinIsM" movement. And then, not only do I personally have to deal with a bunch of fucking idiots who have the gull to tell ME how the fuck I cant or can speak and how I should fucking feel when they dont got a single damn clue, BUT ALSO. this sort of cultural fucking idiocracy leads to real life impacts. Ala, western european states legalizing prostitution, thus the horrid rise of sex trafficking, child sex trafficking, child pornography, etc, of mainly balkan, roma, refugee, immigrant, poor, etc etc women. Ala, there was this article written by a Romanian prostitute in spain. She was complaining about how because of this sex work narrative now even more men come to prostitutes bc theyve bought this bullshit narrative of the "happy sex worker" so. now, they have to put all this extra fucking emotional effort into pretending like theyre enjoying what these men are doing to them and like they want it and all this shit. Which, let me tell you, its a whole lot easier to just dissociate when you get used to being regularly raped than it is to have to pretend like you fucking want it and enjoy it too. Something along the lines, these men want your soul not just your body, and this much worse...... And how, because of this, they also have to invest more in makeup and shit to look "well" which fuether just sinks them into the whole cycle which is quite hard to get out of. So. So.

As far as Im concerned. All the god forsaken postmodern nonsense that is propagated in western social sciences academica - has real life fucking effects. It has. The things written, the things discussed, the things professors say. Ive said before, that maybe postmodernism has some academic value (though we didnt need french people to be like, yo dude did you know multiple perspectives on life exist? inssne!). But. It doesnt fucking stay in academica. None of this bullshit stays in academica. And apart from this sort of bullshit not even being "feminism" and being inherently detrimental to the unity needed for social movements, inherently complacent, inherently antirevolutionary, inherently fucking REEKING of western individualism and selfishness up the fucking ass,,,,,,,,,it has real life fucking affects.

Westerners whove never fucking been through any of this shit sit in universities coming up with all these fucking theories but who pays the price. Who pays the god damn fucking price? Who? For their thought experiments? For these societal experiemnts? For these bullshit western ideas of freedom and progress and feminism? We do. My people do. We do. God fucking damn it