#again lmao. its so fucking offensive. its........ how fucking deep do you have to be to explicitely speak about sex trafficking victims

[quietwingsinthesky]

your jo/dean/sam fic??👀👀👀

lmao yeah it took me a minute to find it in my wip folder because none of these fics have titles that make it easy on me (fun fact: it was sitting between one fic titled "oh my god" and another titled "choking your brother to death as an act of devotion" my wip folder is so normal)

ANYWAY. basic premise of this fic is that while I was watching s2 with my friend, I was thinking about her flirting with Dean, about how the original plan (Kripke's idea, i believe?) was for her to be their half-sister, and internally going "hey uh eric. hey eric. why was your idea directly after 'she's their sister' that 'she should want to fuck dean'" and then combine that with s2 having absolutely insane vibes around sam & dean, and i started putting together a little rewrite. nothing too fancy, just What If jo kept hunting with the boys, what if the three of them had insane sexual tension, what if she was secretly their half-sister. what if there is no escape from the winchester family curse no matter how much you try to hide from it.

it is also a fic i started for kinktober with the prompt of the day being "double penetration" asjdlaksjd. and then about 9000 words later i did not finish it in time.

i've tried to find a snippet that makes sense all on its own to share, but they're all very tied into each other, referencing lines from earlier parts and such. still! turns out i do have a little of the playthings part of the draft finished that mostly works standalone. just keep in mind this is very unfinished, try not to judge too harshly ^-^

He helps Sam into bed and watches him drunkenly snuggle into the mattress. Dean’s got the horrible urge to laugh because he knows just how shitty Sam will feel come morning and thinking about him whining over a hangover is better than lingering on Sam’s death wish. He won’t remember anything Dean said, that’s what he holds onto. He’ll be too busy vomiting his guts up to know what Dean just promised him.

Dean turns, and there’s Jo. He’s yanked violently out of his and Sam’s tiny world and into one where Jo’s brown eyes have witnessed every transgression this night. Dean wishes the worst of it was what he promised Sam, but he can still smell Sam’s breath as it beat against his face, his lips centimeters from Dean’s, dipping and swerving like he wanted as badly to kiss him as to run and never come back.

Jo is staring.

Dean goes on the offensive. It’s easiest.

“You let him get like this while we’re working?” he asks. Jo’s face ricochets through emotions, wide, confused eyes to her mouth twisting into a scowl to it falling open a little, head tipped into astonishment more than anything else.

“You think I could have stopped him?” There’s a slur to her words that Dean picks up on. She hears it, too, shakes her head. “I thought we were having fun. And then, I thought he was trying to prove he could drink me under the table. And then, he got...” She gestures at Sam. Sam snores, always so helpful. She looks between him and Dean. She meets Dean’s eyes, and then her gaze falls, in a way that should be familiar and instead leaves him nauseous, to his lips.

“Jo,” he says, “please.” He wants to say that he’s begging please don’t tell anyone else. But... cat’s out of the bag. There’s no way she can’t be putting the pieces together. He knows what he’s really asking. Please don’t look at this like it’s something ugly. Don’t look at Sam like he’s a monster. Don’t look at me like I ruined everything.

(And deep down, he’s crying out, please don’t leave me, please don’t leave me, I know you will one day but don’t let it be now, not for this.)

Jo’s gaze darts over to Sam again. She’s got her arms crossed.

“Please,” Dean says again.

“He was drunk,” she says, slowly. It’s almost like a way out. Pretend this never happened. Go back to normal. Only Dean can’t take that option either, not if she knows and she hasn’t run away screaming yet. Just one more person to bear this secret, and maybe it won’t be so heavy. (Jo doesn’t deserve to have to carry it, to have to hide it, but Dean is so tired of him and Sam being the only ones.)

She waits for him to take the out. He doesn’t.

“But that’s not why he was trying to stick his tongue in your mouth,” she finishes.

“He’s messy when he’s had too many.” Dean’s voice is too strained.

“You’re real fucked up, you know that?” Jo says. Dean expects it to come with a slamming door or something thrown at him. It doesn’t.

“I know,” he says. “We know.”

“Who else?”

“What?”

“Who else knows?” Dean shrugs.

“I don’t know.” Gordon’s eyes, narrowed and disgusted and murderous. “We don’t exactly give that info out freely.”

“Just me, then?” Dean could point out that he didn’t tell her either, that she eavesdropped on him and Sam’s private world. It doesn’t change anything, and besides, he’s telling her now, isn’t he? Can't help himself.

“It’s just you,” he confirms. “You gonna stand on a street corner and start shouting ‘Extra! Extra! The Winchesters are brotherfuckers!’” Jo grimaces.

"Don’t put words in my mouth. I'm not going to tell anyone," she says. “I’m not- Let me think.” She puts her hand to her forehead, grimace deepening, and then he hears her mutter, “Fuck.” He knows that tone very well. He’s said that exact word that exact way dozens of times. Jo stumbles as fast as she can into the bathroom. She manages to make it to the toilet before she starts retching. Dean moves without thinking twice, bending down next to her and gathering up her hair in his hands. He holds it out of her face and listens to her curse around the burn of stomach acid and alcohol in her throat. When she’s done, she slumps. Dean flushes for her.

He should probably back off. Let her go.

He strokes her back instead. He can just barely feel her heartbeat against his palm, reaching through muscle and skin and the thin fabric of her tank top to reassure him she’s still here.

[theodoraflowerday]

young royals s2s3 live reaction

guys she's meditating - she's died

OR EVEN DISTRIBUTION OF CHILD PORNOGRAPHY YEAHHHHHHHH REMIND THAT BITCH OF WHAT HE DID

imprisonable offense ayyyy

wille just needs to smoke a blunt and get his dick sucked honestly at this point nothing else is gonna work

oh would you look at that that's a TRAITOR RIGHT THERE

fuck you malin you know what you did

"it doesn't matter if you cheat you'll always get away with it" you know what other kinda cheating he could get away with? I'm just sayin!!

THE FOOD HAS BEEN SO SO THIS WEEK IT'S STARTING TO AFFECT MY ABILITY TO FOCUS

ROSH IS HELPING HIM TRAIN AWWWWW

"i don't get why I can't fall in love with him!" baby boy you know why (and rosh does too bc that look she just gave him? deep)

felice with the best advice in the world: communicate

this is fucking hilarious he's just like "btw you're queer. I'm queer. we can, you know. discuss. if you want" like that's fucking hilarious

this feels like it's building towards the revelation that erik killed himself

"in a way I wish it had never happened, it was better to be oblivious about how it can feel" i want to dieeeeeeeeee

OH THAT'S FUCKING HILARIOUS

NOT THAT ITS ANY OF YOUR BUSINESS BUT WE'RE NOT TOGETHER

this presentation is about to be a trainwreck. this useless ass dude, two gays who can't get their shit together, and sara

sara is....... very sara

this one feels a little too personal to be hillerska doesn't it? or did I misunderstood the assignment?

oh sure, sing that in front of the queen who already hates you lmao

I love miss choir teacher so much

oh wow vincent is a psychopath

JUDAS

august coming up w more elaborate traitor names for vincent is hilarious akfjslfjdk brutus, judas, who's next

GET A JOB STAY AWAY FROM HER

how can sara look at simon in the eye and tell him august is trying not to be an asshole when she KNOWS he leaked the video and she KNOWS simon doesn't know

ask him. ask him why. ask himmmmmm

BECAUSE OF WILHELM? YEAAAAAAAAAA

it's very that's the way i loved you I love this

WHY ARE YOU BRINGING THIS UP YOU BITCH

DON'T TOUCH HIMMMMMM

why couldn't he just say "okay, I respect this, thanks for telling me" and GO AWAY. WHY ARE YOU BRINGING UP HIS DAD.

oh ahaha that's going to be fucking hilarious when wille sees him out there and absolutely breaks in half

you know those tiktoks of girls that go "she just found out her bf cheated on her" and it's a sports girl preparing to go to fucking war on that field? that's about to be crown prince wilhelm of sweden just now

not august inviting sara over to talk and sara wanting him to dick her down instead skfjdlgjgl

"i just feel like the worst person in the world" that's because you areeeeee

OH LMFAO

oh I thought she was grabbing his tits lmao

I can't believe this lol

I mean i can believe it I just can't believe I'm watching this

oh okay I gotta admit that's kinda cute. in a heavily fucked up, reeks of betrayal kinda way.

HE CANT OPEN THE CONDOM LMAO

wait are the curtains open???

HE WAS GONNA GO DOWN ON HER???? I didn't think he had it in him

oh sara baby

okay that's about to be hilarious if wille and august end up having to be in-laws (again, in a fucked up, reeks of betrayal kinda way)

imagine having to go to family dinner and look at the face of the man who leaked your sex tape while you were underage and ruined your life too

I cannot believe august can just sit there next to simon like he didn't ruin his life AND ALSO fuck sara the night before

oh no

I am nothing but oh no about it

I am just the human personification of oh no right now

oh no fuck off

oh no that's bad

oh that's terrible

oh haha that's horrible

I hope vincent dies ngl

nvm I will simply be the one who dies instead lmao

it can only go up from here, right?

thank fucking god for felice

just now I'm already seeing that this won't be a rewatchable season for me lol

there is no fucking WAY

kristina: you did something unforgivable to wilhelm. do you wanna be king?

oh my god this massive ass raging astounding dumpster fire of a fucking BITCH

"i will always stand by my son and put him first" will you, you fucking bitch? will you actually?

oh this episode is the worst thing in the world lmao

"can't you just hold me?" I am going to kill myself. just put a bullet straight in my skull. intracranial lead therapy for me. how could they

they're even in the same position that he was w simon in s2 like

I want to literally die

I cannot believe this

like I straight up cannot believe this

I understand now the whole thing about choices that's........ fucked up

oh my god that's fucked up

oh that's FUCKED UP AS SHIT

WHAT THE FUCK

oh that's fucked up. that's so fucked up.

did they have to do it paralleled like that too? what the fuck

what the fuck

[natsukitakama]

Headcanon : Reader being nice to Floch even though he is jerk

Request : Well since Floch seem to be a type of guy who criticize people then how about he criticize s/o as well but instead of her getting offensive, she actually thank him for being honest since she’s a type of person who’s okay with criticism and also want the truth since some people usually don’t do it because they’ll feel bad that they know it’ll hurt people and that s/o is also a type of person who sees good on everyone including Floch even tho he seem like a jerk guy she still sees good on him and really curious in how would he react 👀

Author note : Hi there I’m sorry for taking so long, I needed some time of my own hope you’ll understand. I found your request quite interesting considering this part of his personality isn’t the most attractive. But still it’s part of who he is. Anyway hope you’ll enjoy this (to be honest I struggled to finish it lmao also yeah I'm trying a new way to present my post one day I'll be satisfied) 

Update : Because I got so much fun writing his reaction from a reader who is thanking him for his opinion while he was harsh on them. In this headcanon, they started as companion but then it would be imply that both of them are together or at least something is happening. Hope you’re fine with that. 

Warning : Cursing / Floch being a mean / mention of something that happened in season 3 but its vague 

Disclaimer :  Not because I’m writing about Floch means I understand what’s he done, I won’t accept his action but I still believe he wasn’t developed enough. I won’t accept any criticism because my anon asked for Floch or because I write for him. If you don’t like it then do not read it ♡ 

I got a headcanon that look like this so see this as the other version ♡ 

Masterlist 

The way you seemed to always accept every criticism never felt to amaze Floch. No matter who criticizes you, you’re always acting like it wasn’t a big deal. Worst he even noticed that you were glad to be critized. His first thought when he discovered that you were taking different opinion with a smile was something like « what the fuck ? » 

How could you take negative though that easily ? What was your secret ? 

For weeks he strongly believed that you were acting tough but when you were alone, you were crying over each word you’ve been hit on. 

He wouldn’t be surprised I mean, everyone hates being criticized it’s part of our nature. 

But you weren’t like this, after weeks of believing you were a liar at pretending that critics didn’t affect you, he then discovered that in fact you were taking it with serenity. 

« It would help me to be a better a person » you once said to him

He didn’t get it. Like who do you think you are ?

Why aren’t you acting like Eren or Jean ? Why weren’t you angry at him ? Worst, why weren’t you defending yourself ? What was wrong with you ? 

The fact that you were smiling everytime he was mean to you was getting on his nerve. For fuck sake could you at least yell at him ? At least he’ll know you were human. 

He didn’t why but seeing you smiling at him, thanking him for his negative opinion got his sick. He could feel his stomach twisted as if he could throw because of your sympathy. Did you pity him ? 

He even once heard a conversation between you, Eren and his crew that makes him even more sick : 

« You know, you shouldn’t let him talk to you the way he did. This isn’t respectful. » 

« Eren is right, want me to teach him some manners ? If it’s for you i’ll do it » 

«  *chuckle* Thank you Mikasa but I don’t think it would be necessary. I mean yeah he got a way to say things - » 

« He is talking to you like you were shit » 

« I wouldn’t say it like this Eren but yeah you got a point. Y/N I know you saw good in everyone but you have to admit that recently he is being mean to you » 

« *sigh* As I was trying to say, yeah he is being mean with me but his opinion was actually good. I mean yeah I’ve been too slow during our training and yes I shouldn’t forgot to pack some gas with us. My point is he was right, he just got a way to talk to people » 

« Come on everyone makes mistake and it wasn’t like HE thought about taking Gas bottle too. He got some balls to says that » 

« Eren is right Y/N. » 

« But he was still right. I mean he forgot but I forgot too, if no one is meticulous in real battle it could be dangerous. Besides he is not as mean as everyone thinks. I can see it, there is good in him »

« Well he is doing a good job at hiding it. Remembered how he talked to Armin when he woke up ? That piss of sh- » 

« *sigh* Yeah he shouldn’t say it the way he did but you need to understand his point too. He was all alone with his friends and his commander which he used to worship by the way, he had to run with his friends knowing he would die either from stone or because he’ll be eaten by a Titan. For him Erwin was a hero, of course his first reaction was to want him to survive. Caporal Levi did it too, he wanted Erwin to survive he only have the injection because Erwin told him too. » 

«  Maybe. But I still believe this man has no education » 

« *chuckle* you used to be a little shit too when you first came, acting all cocky because you were about to kill titans but everyone looked through it and now we all love our precious angry soldier » 

Eren then proceed to grumble something about not being angry while everyone was laughing. How could you say that ? Why were you protecting him ? Did he ask you to protect him ? No ? Then why are you seeing all those things at him ? Why were you saying that he got a point when all he did was telling you how shitty you were. He was bullying you why were you nice to him ? 

The worst when he started to have a crush on you. Was he a sadist or something ? Why was he looking at you everytime you were training ? Why was he offended when someone compliment you ? You’re just in love bitch

Did he stop being mean at you ? No not at all, it would be out of character for him. BUT he started to be « gentle » about the way he critices you. For example he won’t told you that you suck at being a soldier because you were starting to feel tired because of the training instead he would scold you for not sleeping enough. 

See ? He still gives you critics and some time he is a bit harsh but now you’ve noticed (even though you already did) that he was actually carrying about you. 

So you started to thank him even more for his kind word, which disgust him. Why were you thanking him anyway ? 

At some point he stopped trying to figure out if you were a masochist or just silly, he keeps scolding you everytime you did something wrong and he just shrugs each time you were thanking him. 

But then you started to defend him even more, you weren’t just trying to justify his action by analyzing his behavior. 

Now you were arguing with people who were telling some shit about him which surprised him. Why do you care ?  He didn’t give a damn about some fools’ opinion nor should you. 

But here you were explaining your point, trying to make them understand that no he wasn’t just a jerk and there were something more important to get to know. He froze. 

« Come on Y/N don’t fool yourself Floch is a jerk have you seen him ? All he cares is himself. He is so fool of himself. Did you notice the way he is talking to you ? How could you defend someone like him ? » 

« Because he cares about him and because I care about him too. You asked if I noticed the way he was talking to me, I did. He stopped being mean at me, and started to give me advice to help me during my training. He noticed my lack of stamina and told me to practice and sleep better. He scold be for always forgetting something and now I’m careful. All he need was to help me, how am I supposed to avoid fight when you’re clearly misunderstanding him. He is someone good, you just need to get to know him » 

This time instead of feeling sick, he felt a little warm running into his body especially on his face. He felt … good ? He couldn’t explain it but yeah he felt right to hear you saying this even though he still didn’t understand why you were like this while you two barely talk together. 

He wanted to confront you about. 

Especially because he started to dream about you even more than before. That scene when you were defending him was keeping playing in his head, again and again. At this point you were always on his dream. Not that he will complain but he felt silly to be like this, like to him they were no way you were into him. 

So one day when you two were cleaning the training room, Floch decided it was now or never. So after closing the door to be in « peace », he walked into your direction. Step by step he noticed that he got trouble at taking a deep breath probably because he was scared or anxious. 

When he finally was in front of you, you noticed his frown and started to ask yourself what was wrong with him. He wasn’t so anxious, usually he came talk to you all cocky to correct you but now it was as if he was talking to Caporal Levi. 

« Are you okay ? » 

« Of course I am why wouldn’t I ? » 

« I don’t know you look like tense. Did I do something wrong ? » 

« Obviously yeah. I mean you’re always doing something wrong but that’s not why I’m here » 

«  Oh yeah ? » 

« Yeah. »

« Then ? »

« Then what ? » 

« Why are you here ? If you’re not here to scold me » 

«  I wanted to know why you’re acting so nice » 

«  I’m acting nice ? » 

« Yeah don’t play dumb to me. I heard you talking with Eren and that bunch of shitty friends also I saw you with those stupid soldiers talking dirty about me. Why were you defending me ? » 

« Why not ? I mean they are not angel either so I don’t see the point of being mean » 

« But i’am » 

« Excuse me ? » 

« You said there’s no point of being mean about someone but I’m mean. Especially with you I remember correctly telling you that you being a soldier was a shame for humanity » 

« Yeah that wasn’t nice by the way » 

« See ? You’re smiling ! Why is wrong with you ? » 

« What ? Because I can’t smile ? » 

« No ! Not when I’m being mean at you that completely strange » 

« Well then I’m a weirdo I guess » 

« Okay I’m done I knew I couldn’t get anything from you » 

«  I’m sorry but I don’t see what’s wrong with my behavior ? » 

« You can’t smile when someone is saying bad things about you » 

« Why not ? You’re being honest. » 

« But it’s mean » 

« Yeah and ? At least you’re not trying to be nice with me when in fact you can’t stand me. I hate hypocrite I prefer when people are honest with me. Besides as I said before your critics were interesting it helps me getting better so I don’t see why I would be mad at me » 

«  I don’t get it I’m sorry, even if it helps you. You could at least slap me for being mean at you » 

« Do you want me to spank you Floch ? » 

«  I- I say slap me and not like this I-I oh my god I can’t » 

«  *laugh* but you’re the one talking about slapping I’m sorry I didn’t know it was your thing I’ll take it in mind » 

« YOU … Wait are you making fun of me ? » 

« Maybe ? » 

Then you just laugh and finish your duty, leaving a completely frozen Floch. 

You’re kinda broke him, he didn’t know how to behave with you anymore. 

Should he be glad because you’re not angry at him for being a jerk ? Or should he be concerned because you figure out something he didn’t want to admit ? 

Again, he started to be less a jerk around you. But you noticed that it worked only for you. Floch was still… Floch around other people. He just tends to be soft with you, he stopped scolding you and in fact correct you each time you were doing a wrong move. And when you were loosing or forgetting something, he just gave you what you needed without complaining. 

People were surprised, like they weren’t used to see Floch not acting like a jerk. They also didn’t understand why you weren’t treated like everyone else. Some of them got their theory but for now all they could notice was Floch not being as mean as usual with you while you were acting nice with him. For both of you that’s all matter 

[lizzienaut]

Again I'm not blaming you of, the disgusting side of the community did it I don't really know how I can't include you

Also, what the hell does the type of content have to do with the person who does it? I know you won't care at all if it's a 50 or a minor that draws your favorite character "stocked and sfw tickled tont uwu" even if it's a MINOR , because you always want to see the feet immobilized by the ropes first before anything else

Oh, and before I literally forget any dubious morality thing that says you'll end up paying more attention to what I said, at least it's easier for me to take the bait, I actually didn't mean to sound so rude with my question my bad :)

i wasnt part of it, its that easy broski

my favorite characters arent minors, why are you pushing this whole pedophile personality on me i think you might be projecting you act as if my kink comes before anything else, but it most certainly does not my guy i dunno what warped personality you think that i have but again, totally projecting lmao

fuck off with that fake ass apology and suck my nuts, if you have to bait us with offensive things then obviously your point is so weak that it cant even support itself and therefore you should lock the ipad for the night and go to sleep, mommy said it's past your bedtime

i would know, im eight inches deep in her right now B)

[snapdragon-mina]

Critical Beauty

A/n: This is my part of the POCuties Playlist Collab :)

I love bo with my WHOLE heart. I'm sorry if it seems rushed or ooc, ive been hella stressed lmao. Anyway, enjoy this fic based on Critical Beauty by Pentagon.

Warnings: Swearing? I think that's all.

•••

You became friends with Konoha Akinori rather easily when you transferred. He was fun to be around and you guys just clicked. After a few weeks of friendship, he offered for you to come watch him and the team practice.

"Hey, (l/n), you don't have anything to do after school... Do you?" He asked.

"Uh no, not that I know of. Why?"

"I wanted to see if you'd come watch me and the others practice." He shrugged as he relaxed in his seat keeping a watchful eye on the clock.

"Volleyball practice? That's a bunch of hot sweaty men in one place, sir who do you take me for?" You held a look of disgust on your face as you looked at him. Konoha snorted and shot you a look.

"You don't wanna know."

You faked offense but agreed to watch his practice after class.

You arrived shortly after practice had already begun. You opted for quietly taking a seat as nobody had even seemed to notice you slip into the gym. You were there for a good five minutes before Konoha realized you were already here. He had stopped dead in his tracks, piquing someone's attention.

"Wait, (l/n), when did you get here?"

You rolled your eyes at the question. "Been here for like 5 minutes, thanks for finally noticing tho." As the two of you were joking around you could feel someone else's eyes on you.

"Konoha, why is the one with that phat ass staring at me-"

As soon as those words left your lips, Bokuto froze and all eyes were on him. Akaashi bumped his shoulder against Bokuto's and that knocked him out of his semi-frozen state. "What's your name?" He blurted out almost immediately.

You raised an eyebrow but answered him nonetheless. "I'm (l/n) (y/n); Konoha's only friend."

Konoha flipped you off at that.

"I'm Bokuto Kōtarō, Its nice to meet you (l/n)-chan!" He smiled really wide up at you.

"(l/n)-chan, huh? Okay." You smiled back down at him and he swears he felt his heart swell.

•••

At this point the entire school knew. A few days ago, you bumped into Bokuto in the hallways. As you went to apologize, his eyes lit up and he reached into his bag, pulling out a -somehow perfectly intact- flower. "(l/n)-chan! This morning I was walking, and there was a rose. If you like it you can take it!"

"Oh, thank you, Bo. Pink is actually one of my favorite colors." You smiled as you gently took the rose from his hands.

His eyes widened slightly at your smile and shifted his eyes away. "I never knew you liked pink... But now that you're holding it in front of me, It suits you." He walked off before you could notice the growing warmth spreading through his face.

That wasn't the only time, though. Over the course of three months, you would receive dozens of gifts. Anything ranging from flowers, to food, to jewelry. He always said something that made it super obvious how absolutely infatuated he was with you. However, his dumb ass didn't even realize he was being obvious until you called him out during his latest gift.

Bokuto came up to you after one of his practices. "Something annoying but sparkling was strangely in my pocket. I swear I don't know how it got there." He handed you a silver ring with some sort of gem inside of it. Was it real? You have no idea but you wouldn't put it past him if it was. "You can have it, since my fingers dont fit."

You looked at him skeptically before slipping the ring onto one of your fingers. His face started heating up again as he watched you and you could've sworn you heard something along the lines of: "it fits on your finger so well that it gives me chills."

"Are you positive you have no idea where it came from?" You asked, peeping the ring that looked eerily similar to the one he just gave you, on his finger.

"Yep! Not a clue. It's just a coincidence that the same one happens to be on my finger too."

At this point you'd had enough. You stared him directly in his eyes, not saying or doing anything; waiting for him to crack.

He started shifting his weight from leg to leg under your gaze. "Don't stare at me like that." You didn't let up. "Fine, what are you curious about?" He tried to look anywhere but directly at you.

"Bo, you keep gifting me these little gifts. I really do appreciate them, but I need an explanation." You crossed your arms and waited patiently.

He took a few deep breaths to calm himself down. "I don't need to say the obvious again, it's written all over your face."

You grinned. "I'm not saying anything in response until I get a proper confession. Details and everything." Bokuto's eyes widened.

"I'm not ready to-"

Your smile softened. "That's fine, Bo. I already adore you as is, so I'll wait for you. Just do it when it feels right for you." The panicked look on his face dissipated and he nodded.

"Okay! Wait for me until then, please." And with that he ran off to do God knows what.

•••

Four more months and Bokuto was still giving you gifts, but he had yet to actually "confess properly". You were patient through it all and then one day, Bokuto stopped giving you gifts.

Your thoughts were spiralling as you questioned why. Why would he stop? Did he mean to? Did this fucking idiot go broke buying me all that shit? You shook your head as you walked towards you locker. You almost didn't notice Konoha standing there with a smug little shit eating grin as he held out a letter with a little heart seal on it.

"Konoha what are you-"

"(l/n)-chan I'm so in love with you, please make me the happiest man in the entire world and accept my confession!" It was obvious that he was faking. He could barely get through a word without laughing.

"Eat shit and die." You laughed as you snatched the letter from his hands.

"It's actually Bokuto-san's letter. He was supposed to give it to you like a week ago but he chickened out and Akaashi-san had to get the letter from him. He asked me to deliver it to you since we're in the same class and all."

"Oh say less" He waved goodbye to you and walked off, leaving you with the letter. You carefully opened it and read it to yourself silently.

"I would fall over and die if I said this in person, but this is a letter! :)

Day after day I live for you, I'll give you everything. If Im with you I swear everywhere will feel like Hollywood. You have the best smile I've ever seen and everytime you smile I feel really hot, it's like I'm addicted to you. I just want you to know that I really really really like you.

-Bo <3"

You smiled softly before placing the letter in your bookbag and getting what you need out of your locker.

After class ended for the day, you walked towards the gym as you knew volleyball practice was being held today. The moment you pushed the door open, Bokuto's head snapped up and he looked at you. "(y/n)!"

"Ooh first name basis I see. Okay then, Hi Kōtarō." You smiled. He returned it as he dropped what he was doing and rushed to give you a hug. You returned it with a laugh. "Dude, you're all sweaty."

He pulled away and apologized quickly. "So uhm, did you? I mean, did Konoha give you my letter?"

"He did. Kou, you are the absolute fucking cutest." His smile grew almost 10 times wider. He looked and felt nothing but pure euphoria at that response. You could hear his signature "Hey Hey Hey" outside with how happy he felt. He all but peppered little kisses all over your face.

"Bokuto-san we have to finish practice." Akaashi called out and Bokuto nodded and promised that he'd take you out on a real date as soon as he was able to.

"I swear I'll make you as happy as you made me."

[yee-fxcking-haw]

•Save Me Again•

Summary: Ouchies :/ some hurt+comfort with Kiri. Its a rough mission for Red Riot, his anxiety gets to him, you pick up the pieces.

Pairing: Pro Hero Kirishima x NBreader (both 18+)

Warnings: Angst, panic attacks, mentions of blood, death, grounding tactics (five senses method)

Word Count: 1,605

A/N: Wrote this with a big achey heart at five in the morning. It hurts. Sorry y'all lmao.

•••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••

The images flashing on the television are nothing short of horrendous, they're devastating and gorey. It leaves you feeling painfully sick and hopeless. You cling to Eiji's shirt, crying into the fabric every time a life is lost. The anchorman is talking, but his words are lost somewhere between the speakers and your ringing ears.

A particularly gruesome death is shown, you feel your body sob, but again can't process any sound. Where is he? Where the hell is he?

The screen cuts to blue, some well worded message about sparing the audience of graphic content flashes on it.

You have to breathe, you have to keep moving, you have to focus. You can't though, your lungs won't fill, your body won't budge, and your brain won't settle.

He's ok. He's built for this.

-But, he's cities away, and you haven't heard from him or seen evidence of him on the news… so, what if he isn't ok?

Those villains weren't anything he hasn't faced before, but there were so many of them. More bloodthirsty than usual, more reckless. Now, with the stupid news cut off, you have to just wait and hope to whoever the hell is running this shitshow that Eiji is holding his own.

The secret feed. Fucking hell the secret news feed.

Being a loved one of a Pro, you're connected to a secret news feed that covers events like this uncensored. It's something his commission came up with, not long after you had your first severe panic attack from not knowing if he was alive or dead on a similar mission.

Your phone is torn from your pocket, thumbs flying with urgency as you pull up the feed.

With nearly supernatural timing, the camera pans to Eijirou, who's covered head to toe in ash, debris, and blood.

"Oh, baby…" You choke out, hand reaching for him subconsciously.

In his strong arms, wrapped in rock hard safety, is the limp body of a little boy. Blood seeps from an open gash on his head, it looks deep, it looks serious.

Eiji's face is hard to read, it always is when he's in mission mode. He looks focused, but shaken, resolute, but disturbed.

You watch as he brings the boy to a medic who promptly has him laid out on a stretcher. His pulse is checked, followed by a slow, mournful shake of the medics head.

Then Eijirou's face falls, you can see his heart shredding as if it's his own child laying there.

You cry for him, your heart cracks and falls apart as you watch him realize he was too late. You know what he's thinking, you know he doesn't think he's helping, or that he should even be there.

You know he doesn't think he's a Hero.

You watch helplessly as they stabilize the situation, capture the villains, and clean up the mess. Every time the camera is on Red, your heart breaks all over again. He's not doing well, the rock has been shaken.

°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°

When the front door finally opens, you freeze completely. You should run to him, you should say something, but what would you do? What would you say?

So, you wait. You take in his battered form, the blood, the falling hair, the broken eyes. He shucks off as much of his hero gear as he can.

His eyes stay on the ground as he walks over to you with heavy feet. He slumps down on the couch, elbows on his knees as he buries his face in his filthy hands. He smells like battle, an almost offensive smell, but something you're used to.

After a tense moment of heavy silence, a trembling sob rattles through his exhausted body.

You want to throw yourself on him, wrap around him and coddle him, but you know you have to wait.

"Can I touch you?" You question softly, trying to remember all the steps you need to take to ground somebody when they're shaken up like this.

His only reply is grabbing you by the waist so he can pull you into his lap. His arms lock around your body, his face buried into your chest, and he just cries.

The cries turn to sobs that turn to screams. All sent somewhere deep inside you, somewhere dark and hopeless. Your fingers are in his hair, as soothing as they can be when you're shaking this much.

"I know, baby… I know." You whisper, tears covering your cheeks as you break with him.

"No." He chokes, he says it like he's fighting something, like he doesn't want it to happen.

"You don't know, nobody knows." It isn't accusatory, it isn't angry, it's just painful.

You wait for a moment, unsure of your footing, trying to calculate what to do next.

You have to diffuse somehow, you have to bring him back down. He's nearly hyperventilating, and you don't want him to go through a panic attack. You know you can handle him, but when Eiji panics, it does a real number on him.

"Honey, can you feel me?" You ask cautiously, digging your fingers into his matted hair, squeezing your body around his.

He nods as another gut wrenching sob rips from his throat.

"Ok, good, baby, that's good." You coax.

"You can hear my voice, right? Can I hear yours, please?"

He takes a moment to pull breath into the bottom of his lungs, pressing the side of his face against your sternum.

"I'm here. I'm right here." He answers, just like you practiced.

"Thank you, thank you for being here." You lean back slightly, a bit difficult with how tightly he's holding you. When he feels you shift away, his breathing picks up again, his hands hold on painfully and he shakes his head frantically.

"I'm not going anywhere. I'm here. I'm not leaving." You reassure him, reaching for the water bottle on the table beside the couch.

You guide his face towards yours with a gentle hand on his jaw. He's a mess of tears and snot and blood. His eyes are more bloodshot than you've ever seen them, lips quivering, eyebrows drawn tight with anxiety.

It makes you want to cry as hard as he is, but you can't. If you cry, he'll want to save you, and he's done enough saving for today.

You bring the bottle to his lips, tipping it up and making him drink. He closes his eyes as he takes in the cold water, undoubtedly dehydrated.

"You can taste that, right?" You ask as you pull it away after a few long drinks.

He'll want to chug it, but he can't, it'll make his stomach hurt.

"I can." He answers, almost like a robot, but it's better than nothing.

"Thank you, Eiji, you're ok. I'm here." You remind him.

"Can I take your shirt off?" You ask.

He nods slowly, following the lead you've taken on the situation.

Your shirts are both discarded, as soon as you're rid of the fabric you grab the blanket off the back of the couch and throw it around your back before pressing your bare torsos together.

You've learned that skin to skin is the best way to ground him. As you expect, he melts into your warmth, bringing you back down against him so he can hide his face in your neck.

"You smell nice." He whispers, picking up the senses where you left off, it makes you swell with pride.

"Good, thank you baby, what else is there?" You prompt, willing him to keep going.

"I see our home." He sniffles.

"That's right. You're home. You have me. You're safe." You repeat it a few more times.

Between gentle touches, soft kisses, and extensive reassurance, his breathing settles and his tears stop falling.

"I don't think I should be out there." He finally whispers after several moments of slowly breathing together.

You don't answer, you don't combat it. You both know he should be out there, but you know he needs to get this out, so you let him.

"I couldn't even save one k-kid." The heartbreak in his eyes is immeasurable, inconsolable, it makes you fall apart in a thousand different ways.

You don't speak, you don't fabricate comfort with sweet words. You just let him cry again, full bodied into your neck. He'll do this a few times, settle then fall apart again. You'll be patient, sit there with your glue and tape and piece him back together.

"You saved me." You remind him quietly, recalling how you met.

He truly did, you were almost collateral damage, just another tally mark on the wall counting lives lost to villains. However, one Hero, one brilliant Hero, saved your poor civilian ass.

He pulls away to blink up at you, eyes swollen and wet, broken and searching.

"You saved me." He breathes.

Your forehead falls against his.

"We save each other. That's enough. You're doing enough." You assure him, knowing he needs to hear it.

The push and pull goes on for a little while, you let him break, you stitch him back up. You wipe the dirt and blood from his body, kissing the bruises, reminding him you're real. You clean him up and talk him down, until his body is wrapped around yours in bed.

He cries himself to sleep in your arms, tears falling more slowly, the result of a dull ache that will linger for days. It'll stay this way for a bit, an unstable back and forth, but you'll be here. You'll reach down and pull him up, you'll save him like he saved you.

[dirty-urie]

Jam Sesh

Second Person

Brendon x Female Reader

PFTW Era

Smut Oneshot

NC-17

3.3k Words

Warnings in order of appearance: real person fic, alcohol, slight insecurity, fingering, some dirty talk, penetrative sex

Author's Notes:

This is... not my best work. I don't really like anything about it, but instead of wasting any more of my time on it, I'm just publishing it and hoping that my dislike for it is just me being self-critical and not because it's a really bad fic. Normally I'm all for hyping yourself up, but meh, I'm just not feeling this one, and that's okay because it's my blog and I can do whatever I want. Hope you like it though lmao

He answers the studio door and pulls you in for a hug, which is a little awkward with the guitar on your back, but you make it work. "Y/N!" He exclaims happily.

You're a little surprised that he answered the door and didn't accidentally get caught up in his work. It's not like Brendon would purposefully stand you up; he's just a little bit of a mess sometimes. But he looks happy to see you, and that's all that matters. He motions you inside, and you follow him, collapsing on the couch next to his desk.

"Beer me, Brendon!" You request, and he does, grabbing a beer from the mini-fridge in the corner of the studio and handing you the tall silver can. You wrinkle your nose. "How successful does the band have to get for you to stop buying Coors light?"

"Hey! I like Coors light," he defends, grabbing yours and replacing it with a pretentious-looking IPA. "There you go, a fancy beer because you're my guest."

"Thank you. I'm sure it'll still taste like stale piss, but now it'll taste like fancy stale piss." You joke, taking your guitar out of its case.

He laughs and takes a sip of the beer he stole from you. "Oh shit, is that new?" He gestures to your guitar. "I haven't seen it before."

"New to me. I found it at a thrift shop for 20 bucks, but it barely looks used and look, it's a fender," you say, handing him the guitar.

"Woah, Y/N, this is a find," he says, playing a few chords.

You take your guitar back and start messing around on it yourself. Brendon makes his way over to the drums and starts playing along with you. You try not to ogle or anything, but he looks fucking good giving his all to the instrument. Almost makes you wonder how he'd be in bed... intense, totally in-control. Shit, you need to stop letting your mind wander; you're just as bad as the throngs of thirsty fans. Plus, you came here to play guitar with one of the most talented musicians you know, you shouldn't let your hormones get the better of you.

After a while, you start getting hot in the stuffy studio and stand up to take your jacket and shirt off, leaving you in a white tank top. That helps for a bit, but the heat is still getting to you. "Hey, B, I'm getting hot in here. Do you mind if we go outside?"

Ever since you took your jacket off, he's been laser-focused on the drum-kit, so you're not sure he hears you at first.

"B?" You repeat.

He stops his drumming but doesn't stand up. "Oh yeah, no problem, let me just tidy up the studio a bit. Can you bring the guitars out?"

"Yeah, sure," you step out of the studio with the guitar you brought and one of his acoustic ones, but when you step out of the studio, you notice dark clouds coming towards the house.

"I think it could rain; we probably should leave the instruments inside, just in case," you tell him, walking back into the studio and leaving the guitars on the couch. You notice that he's still sitting behind the drums, his head in his hands. "Hey, Brendon, you feeling okay?"

He waves you off with a laugh, still not really looking at you. "Yeah, yeah, I'm great. Just a little headache; I'm probably dehydrated. I'll bring out some waters with the next round of beers."

"Okay, if you say you're fine, I'll wait for you outside," you say suspiciously, leaving the studio.

You settle into the outdoor sitting area, kicking your feet up on the coffee table. Brendon comes out with two more beers and two water bottles, still looking a bit distressed.

"Sorry, I cut our jam session short," you apologize, as he sits in the chair across from you and crosses his legs.

"What? Are you kidding me? We were at it for hours," you swear he blushes after he says that, but he's probably flushed from drumming, "and even if it was cut off, I just wanna hang out with you, no matter what we're doing."

"Aww, I'm so glad we're friends. Ooo, and now that we have time to talk, you can tell me all about that tour story that you didn't want to write out in an email."

You two exchange stories for another half hour, but Brendon still looks pink even after he hasn't been drumming for a while now.

"Hey, you still look really hot. You wanna jump in the pool? I don't have a swimsuit, but I could just wear my tank top and panties and then change back into my t-shirt and shorts after," You suggest. He looks a little panicked if you interpret correctly, but you're not sure why. And he's getting redder but the second. "Brendon, you look really flushed; you should cool off."

He laughs, but you don't get the joke. "I actually think I should get into the air-conditioning, we could watch a movie? Plus, those dark clouds are getting awfully close. We'll get rained-on as soon as we hit the water." Sure enough, as soon as he says that, the sky opens up, and it starts pouring. You both dash through the rain to the house. He unlocks the door, and you both go inside, laughing.

Your top is positively soaked through, and you're shivering in the cold house. "You mind if I shower real fast? I don't want to catch a chill."

Brendon is looking at something behind your head, not meeting your eyes. "Well, um, you could, um, shower here. But wouldn't you rather be all comfy at home?"

"Would I rather drive through LA traffic in the rain in wet clothes than take a warm shower in your mansion? No. I'm gonna shower." You turn around, walking into his bedroom and then deeper into the en-suite bathroom. His shower is large and fancy, and you almost don't want to get out once you're sufficiently warm. You do though, it is a drought, after all. You wrap yourself in a fluffy towel and then rummage around his bedroom for dry clothes. He clearly needs to do laundry because his drawers are sparse, and his hamper is overflowing. Still, you manage to find a long t-shirt and a pair of his boxers to wear underneath.

Brendon walks in and freezes when he sees you. "Are you," he trails off, takes a deep breath, and then starts again, "are you wearing my underwear?" He eyes the black briefs you stole that are peeking out from under the t-shirt you also stole from him.

"Yeah," you say dismissively, putting your wet clothes in your purse.

"Y/N," he says exasperatedly.

"Mm? Something wrong?"

"Something wrong? Y/N, you're wearing my underwear!"

"So?"

"So my dick has been in them!"

You turn to look at him, rolling your eyes. "Your dick has been in your hands, too, but it's not a big deal because, like your underwear, I presume you wash them." He gives you a look that tells you he's not convinced. "Plus, you loaned me sweatpants after I ripped my shorts a couple of weeks ago, and are you honestly telling me your dick has never been in those?"

"That's different!"

"It is not." He gives you another exasperated look. "Okay, if it's that big of a deal, then I'll take them off, geez," you relent, tugging on the bottom of the underwear.

"Ahh!" He exclaims, turning his head, shielding his eyes, and waving his other arm in your general direction as if to ward you off. "Let's all keep our clothes on."

"What is wrong with you? Why are you being so squirrely? Does my gross body really freak you out that much?" You accuse.

His eyes widen. "Shit, no, I love your gross body, fuck, I mean, I love your perfectly normal body," he stutters while you stare in silence.

"You've made your point," you say, not bothering to hide the offense in your voice. You grab your bag and storm out of his bedroom.

"Y/N, wait," he calls.

You stop and whip around to face him, "You've been weird around me all day, Brendon! When I took my jacket off in the studio, your eyes were glued to your drums! When I said we should swim, you offered to watch a fucking movie instead! When my shirt was soaked through, you looked right past me at the wall! When I asked to shower in your house, you nearly kicked me out! And now you're having fucking conniptions over your underwear!" You shout. "Brendon, I know, believe me, I know, that I don't look like your other LA friends. That I'm not model-skinny or anything, but god, you could put some effort into not making me feel like a freak."

Brendon furrows his brows. "Y/N, of course, I don't think you're a freak."

"Oh really? Because Nicole has been buck-naked right in front of you, and you didn't bat an eye, but apparently, the sight of my arms without a jacket is so disgusting that you can't look at me." Tears are streaming down your face now.

His face falls, and he rushes towards you, "Y/N, sweet girl, oh my god, no, no, that's not it at all. I," his voice trembles, "like you," he says quietly.

You scrunch your face in confusion. "Brendon, of course, you like me; we're friends, but that doesn't make any of your behavior today acceptable."

"Are you really going to make me spell it out?" he asks. "I am attracted to you. Very attracted to you. And this whole day, I've just been trying not to get aroused by the sight of you because that's gross and objectifying and disrespectful, so I've been staring at the ground and thinking about Margaret Thatcher naked so I didn't have to go jerk off in the studio bathroom," he confesses.

"Oh."

"And now I've made things awkward," he rubs the back of his neck. "So, um, see you later, you can keep my clothes. I won't need them back. Probably do something creepy with them once you gave them back anyway. Er, that was a joke. I should shut up."

Your offense and then confusion morph into understanding and then shock and delight. "Yeah, you fucking doofus," you laugh. "You absolutely should shut up."

You take two steps forward, closing the gap between the two of you, and grab his chin. You lean in, and your lips meet his without any reservation. He kisses back, unsure. Then, you take more initiative, looping your arm around his back and pulling him against you.

Brendon stays tentative but enthusiastic, letting you take the lead. "Fuck. Margaret Thatcher naked, Margaret Thatcher naked," he chants against your lips.

"How's that distraction working out for you?" You ask knowingly, pressing your hips against his.

His cheeks warm, and must be blushing. "I think you can feel as well I do that it's working out poorly." He's trying to make a joke, but he's right. You can feel him hardening against you as you kiss. You finally remove your lips from his but keep yourself pressed against him. He turns his face away, blushing like you suspected, and grinning from ear-to-ear.

You run your hand down the side of his face. "For what it's worth, I'm very attracted to you too, if you didn't pick up on that already. Probably why I was so upset," you say softly, "I can leave if you want to be responsible and take this slow," you offer. "Or," you trace the hand from his face down his neck to his chest, "you could take me back to your bedroom and apologize for hurting my feelings." You fake a pout.

Brendon's eyes darken, and he grabs your hand to practically drag you into his bedroom. He slams the door behind you, pinning you against it. "Is this okay?"

"More than okay," you breathe out, and he kisses you hard. You reciprocate, not caring how sloppy and desperate you feel with your probing tongues and clashing teeth. He parts to breathe and then buries his face in your neck, nipping and kissing. You tremble, grateful for the door behind you, so you don't collapse. One of his hands is above your head, supporting himself against the door, and the other is on your hip. He plays with the waistband of the briefs you're wearing, a silent plea for permission.

"Touch me," you beg, and he doesn't feign any confusion, just slips his hand under the fabric and strokes your swollen clit with his index finger. You moan, trying to ask for more, but your vocal cords aren't working. He seems to understand, though, because he moves his hand back to gently slide his middle and ring finger inside you. Instead of thrusting them like you expect, he curls them and rubs against your g-spot. At the same time, he's still stroking your clit, now with his thumb, and kissing you. His coordination is crazy good, but it makes sense with all the instruments he plays. Your core is starting to feel warm and buzzy, and you're only half-shocked that he's coaxing an orgasm from you so soon. You don't know how you're still standing; your knees are weak, and your brain feels like it's filled with a static of lust and pleasure.

Brendon feels you tightening around his fingers and speeds up ever-so-slightly. The small part of you that's still lucid feels his dick, hard and pressing against you where your bodies meet. He isn't rutting or grinding against you, just keeping you pinned against the wall with his hips, and somehow the self-control is even hotter. He presses harder on your clit, and that does it. Your orgasm explodes through you, soaking the underwear you're wearing. Your legs turn to jelly, and you slump forward onto Brendon, who supports your dead weight easily. "That's it, come for me," he coaxes softly. You bury your face into him, feeling blissed-out and overstimulated all at once, unable to do anything but ride it out.

"Y/N, darling, can you move over to the bed with me?"

You nod, letting him support you as you take small steps to his bed in the middle of the room.

"Good girl. Can't believe this is really happening; I can't believe I get to touch you. Dreamed about you for so long," he marvels.

You crawl into his bed, settling back onto your knees. "Dreamed about you too," you admit. "God, can I take my shirt off, Brendon?"

"Pretty sure that's my shirt, actually."

You giggle. "Well then, can I take your shirt off?" You wink, regaining your composure.

He laughs. "Yes, please. In both senses, take my clothes off."

You pull off the t-shirt you're wearing and throw it on the ground, exposing your stomach and breasts to his hungry eyes. His chest rises and falls quickly as he soaks you in silently, trying to get control of himself. "I like looking at you in my underwear." His voice is gravelly.

"Well, wouldn't you rather look at me without your underwear?" you offer.

He swallows and nods. You strip completely. You know your cunt is shiny with your juices, and you're pretty sure that's what's caught his attention. Brendon takes his shirt off, and now it's your turn to stare. He unbuckles his belt and unzips his jeans before taking them and his underwear off. His leaking cock settles against his stomach. He approaches the bed and gets in next to you, rolling on his side to face you.

"Fuck me," you moan, grasping his erection and stroking.

Brendon lets out a choked sound and gropes around the nightstand for a condom. He grabs one and hands it to you to roll on him. You spread your legs in expectation, and he takes the cue to enter you. He slides in easily with how wet and ready you are for him. You don't wait for him to start thrusting; you're too impatient. Instead, you rock your hips up to meet him. He hisses, not expecting the motion, and tenses his entire body to stay in control. It feels like it takes him forever, but eventually, he starts moving, slowly dragging his cock up and down. You squeeze your legs together to better feel him, and he hisses before his thrusts quicken, already working desperately towards release.

You can practically feel the veins running across him. "You're so much thicker than I would've guessed. Fill me up so nicely," you tell him. He throbs at your words, and you suspect the praise is turning him on even more, so when his hips snap forward perfectly into your g-spot, you praise him again. "So good, B, keep this angle, please." Your suspicions are mostly confirmed when he moans, and his thrusts falter a bit as a wave of pleasure washes over him. His hand moves to stroke your nipple while he supports himself with his other arm to avoid crushing you. You move your hand between your bodies to touch your clit, but instead, decide to form your fingers in a V and feel him moving between them instead. He hisses at the new sensation, and you love affecting him with your touch.

You finally do move your other hand to rub your clit, fast and hard. There are so many different pleasure points being activated on your body that you don't know what to focus on, so you don't focus on any; just let all the feelings meld into one as you lay back and mostly let Brendon do all the work. And god is he working hard; his muscles are tense and shiny with exertion, his head is thrown back with an expression of sheer bliss on his face, and his thrusts are unrelenting. Not to mention the hand still fondling your breast. He's gorgeous, too caught up in fucking you to muster any speech. You'd feel bad that he's putting so much effort in while you just get to lie back, touch yourself, and meet his thrusts when you can if he didn't seem so deeply gratified himself. Not only is the friction around his cock divine, but he also loves getting to pleasure you. Seeing your mouth fall open, unable to keep moans from escaping. The sex is messy and unrefined, neither of you quite knowing how to drive the other crazy yet, but pulling out every trick you can think of. You feel like a gamer smashing all the buttons to see what will work.

Despite the usual LA climate, the rain outside is pouring harder, and it's adding to the intensity and frenzy you both feel. "Shit, I'm close to coming," he groans.

"Hang on for me a little longer, Brendon, please. Just five more minutes," you plead. Admittedly, you could come too, but you only get one first time with Brendon, and you don't want it to end. He cranes his neck to suck behind your ear, clearly trying to get you to come faster.

"No fair, you already came," he complains, moving your hands out of the way to rub your clit himself. You use your free hands to play with your nipples, now rock hard from the constant stimulation.

"Shit, okay, come," you allow. As you say it, the first clap of thunder booms through the house. He sighs in relief, kissing you deeply as he lets himself go, getting lost in euphoria. You love feeling his hot come gather in the condom, and it triggers your own orgasm. You shriek as your second orgasm of the day is more intense than the first, and you're pretty sure you soak his bedspread just like you soaked his underwear.

He pulls out quickly and tosses the condom before snuggling up against you. "Guess your weird, gross body is good for something after all," he mumbles against your neck, already falling asleep.

"Hm, if only we could find a good use for yours," you retort, wrapping yourself around him.

[glassessence]

PGR - OC

I got so inspired by everyone’s creativity that I created my own OC ^^” Even though she’s a member of the Purifying Force, I hope she’ll still be received warmly. Special thanks to @punishing-gray-raven-ocs​ for their detailed posts about character creation that really made me think about Lydias! 

Warning: I may have gone a bit overboard with the detail. It’s a long read! Also, I threw in a not-so-subtle reference to the most traumatic Memory Rescue mission lmao. So proceed with caution, I guess HAHA

Name                          Lydias: Umbral

Type                            Offensive Support-type Construct

Service time              1 year

Psychological age    24

Activation date         15 March

Height                         167 cm

Weight                        59 kg

Vital fluid type          O

Faction                        Purifying Force

Rank                            A

Weapon                      Chakrams (preferred) /  Gun

Damage type             70% Dark, 30% Physical

Lydias is a support-type Construct modelled after Watanabe’s Astral frame. She has extreme stealth capabilities and excels at tracking, making her ideal for the execution of rogue and infected Constructs.

Her missions mostly involve infiltration and spying, although she’s also been deployed on assassination missions. Those orders come straight from Nikola and their records are kept top-secret, inaccessible even to Bianca.

Her frame is designed for long-range sniping and comes equipped with visual accuracy enhancements and superb calculative powers. However, Lydias prefers to engage her targets in close combat. Killing Constructs from afar feels cruel and cold, like they really are meaningless machines instead of former comrades.

She truly believes in the good of the Purifying Force, but hates the things she has to do. She doesn’t feel like she belongs, but also can’t see a future for herself anywhere else.

Her fighting style is very graceful, featuring a lot of spins and flips that are reminiscent of a dance. Her signature move is called “Blade Dance.”

B A C K G R O U N D 

Lydias was born to a wealthy family in Babylonia. Her mother joined the war effort as a Commandant shortly after she was born and is known as the leader of the elite task force, Cybele. Since then, Lydias has always wanted to follow in her mother’s famous footsteps.

Originally a Commandant of the Black Wolves, a certain incident caused her to give up the position and apply for reconstruction. Despite having low compatibility for Tantalum-193, her application was approved after negotiations with Nikola. Following her surgery, she was transferred to the Purifying Force.

P E R S O N A L I T Y

Shows affection through actions rather than words. Bakes cakes for the humans of Babylonia in her free time

Philosophical, often ponders on the nature of humans and of the war

Likes to make dirty jokes and tease others

Obedient to a fault because she doesn’t trust her own judgement

Comes across as cold, but is just awkward with introductions

Doesn't think very highly of herself. Ignores it when other Constructs call her "traitorous hunting dog" but secretly thinks they're right

Loves the sea and the fathomless depths yet to be explored. Likes to go swimming at every opportunity

Prefers to work alone, but overprotective of her comrades when in a team. Frequently throws herself in harm’s way to shield her teammates. Knows it’s not good, but is too haunted by her past

Trusts easily, but is very guarded with her heart

Knows how to dance a lot of old-school styles like ballroom and ballet, but is too shy to ask anyone to practice with her

S E C R E T S

Has memorised a lot of poetry from before the Punishing Virus outbreak

Gets intensely lonely and jealous when seeing close squad camaraderie like Gray Raven’s

Avoids Kamui because he reminds her of someone she’s lost

Has spied on Watanabe extensively under Babylonian orders and is deeply fascinated by him

Doesn’t trust Nikola, but is unable to disobey his commands

Secretly harbours doubts about Babylonia’s mission to reclaim Earth

Has obtained special permission to download the data of the Black Wolves and often reads the records to keep them alive in her heart

V O I C E   L I N E S

“Team leader? No, I refuse. You’re making a grave mistake.”

“I’m not suited for protecting people.”

“My opinion on the Forsaken? They’re hardworking, loyal, and--Nevermind. We seem to share a similar goal.”

“The Black Wolves? Where did you hear of that name?! Don’t mention it again!”

“I baked a cake today. Would you like some?”

“Yes, I can dance. But I’d prefer it if you didn’t tell the others…”

“I can teach you to dance. Privately, if you’d like. Haha, just kidding.”

“Becoming a Construct was a decision I made rashly. I don’t necessarily regret it, but…”

“Are we really doing the right thing? This endless war… All these years… What have we really achieved?”

INTERLUDE

D U S K F A L L

A voice cracked over the intercom. “...dant…Com...ant...Commandant, do you hear me?!”

Lydias blinked. The urgency in his voice caught her off guard. Ferdinand kept his cool even in the most dire of situations. Something was very wrong. “Tell me, Ferdie.” Static. “Ferds? Come through!” Nothing. Communications had been poor ever since they’d entered this area, but they’d managed until now. For it to suddenly fail like that… it couldn’t be a coincidence.

“Shit,” she said, turning to the other two Constructs with her. “On guard, guys. Something’s coming and comms are down.”

Ilya grimaced. “Sure it’s not one of Ferdinand’s pranks again?”

“I wouldn’t put it past him,” Flora offered, even as she tightened her grip on her lance. “Pesky little bastard would find it hilarious.” Lydias said nothing. She was too tense. There was a taste in the air, a metallic tang that churned in her belly. Sweat dripped into her eye. Suddenly, a hand slapped her on the back. “Relax, Commandant,” Ilya chuckled. “We’ll protect you like always. No need to be so scared all the time.”

Something in her loosened, just a bit. “Shouldn’t I be the one protecting you?” she retorted, trying to project confidence. “You guys with your fragile little M.I.N.Ds?” Flora laughed, a deep-belly rumble that Lydias loved. The knot in her stomach unravelled some more. “You do that, Commandant,” Flora said. “We’ll just twirl our pointy sticks at the bad guys.”

Lydias was just about to say something snarky when she caught movement in the corner of her eye. She swirled, gun at the ready. There was still no word from Ferdinand. “I’m sensing a large Corrupted force in our perimeter,” Ilya reported. His voice had lost its casual lilt. “They’ve got us surrounded.”

Lydias cursed. “How’s that Memory retrieval coming along?”

“Slowly,” Ilya replied unhappily. Flora clicked her tongue. The Corrupted were visible now. They weren’t like anything Lydias had seen before. They carried advanced weapons - chainsaws and spears and bows - and seemed to be organised into phalanxes. Dread coiled in her belly. “We’ve been ambushed,” she breathed in horror. “Ferdinand tried to warn us. They must have blocked off comms.”

“Well, shit,” Flora grunted. The Corrupted army was within gunshot range now. “When the fuck did they get so smart?”

“Someone must be leading them,” Ilya said. “How did the information leak?”

“Doesn’t matter,” Lydias said. “We need to retreat. Now.” A bullet flew by her head, burning the shell of her ear as it passed. Her heart hammered. “Back off,” Flora growled. She twirled her spear, eyes flashing as she impaled the Corrupted soldier. Beside her, Ilya stepped forward, fast as a flash, and stabbed one through the neck. Lydias fired off three shots, watching in grim satisfaction as two buried themselves in the heads of two infected Constructs.

The scene descended into chaos just as Ferdinand’s broken voice sounded in her ear. “...n...way! Comm...ant!”

-----------

Flora stumbled back. She was breathing heavily. Vital fluid leaked steadily from several places, staining her coat a rich purple. Ilya was behind her, grimacing. His left arm was gone, torn away at the shoulder. Sparks flew from the exposed wires within. Beside them, Lydias swayed unsteadily. She clutched at her stomach. Red blood seeped through her fingers. All their attempts to break through had failed. Things were looking more hopeless by the minute. 

“Commandant,” Ilya said, voice strained. “Turn off my pain receptors.” Flora nodded. “Same here.” Lydias coughed wetly. Her vision was growing dim. “It’s dangerous,” she admitted, wishing she could shut off her own terrible pain. “But there’s no other choice.” She authorised the command. Her team’s face relaxed immediately. She met their determined gazes and nodded. “We’re all gonna go home. Together.”

Ilya smiled. Flora grinned. But there was a sadness in their faces Lydias didn’t want to acknowledge. Her connection with Ferdinand was still blocked. He could be dead for all she knew. She turned away from the thought. Just survive, Lydias. And take the Wolves home.

Together, the Black Wolves rose. Ilya with his dagger and Flora with her spear. Unseen by Lydias, they nodded to each other. An agreement, a pact. A promise. Renewed, they threw themselves at the Corrupted like cornered animals. Slowly, inch by painful inch, an exit was being forced open. Corrupted weapons dug into their bodies, but they pushed on. 

Lydias fought beside them, swinging her chakrams haphazardly. Her gun had run out of ammo long ago. She stumbled, half-blind, and almost skewered herself on the end of a Corrupted sword. She could hardly think straight; blood loss was making her weak. Suddenly, a voice crackled in her mind. “Commandant!” Ferdinand’s voice tumbled through her hazy thoughts. “The signal jammer is gone. What’s your status?!”

Her heart soared, bringing with it a brief burst of clarity. “Ferdie! It’s an ambush. We need support!”

“I’ve already informed Babylonia,” he said urgently. “Reinforcement is on the way. I’m coming to you, Commandant. Just hold on!” His signal blinked to life, moving rapidly towards their location. Lydias smiled grimly. Ferdinand was on his way. Support was coming. Surely, they would be okay. They would make it out of this. She just had to hold on for a little longer. 

Flora’s signal pulsed unsteadily and Ilya’s grew fainter with every breath. Lydias clung with desperation to the unstable M.I.N.Ds of her Wolves. I will protect you.

-----------

“Coming through!” A ray of energy tore through the Corrupted wave. Lydias spied Ferdinand’s face through the sea of blades. She almost wept with relief. “Retreat,” she said hoarsely, struggling to stay conscious. “Black Wolves, retreat!”

On cue, Ilya and Flora rushed through the tunnel, half-carrying Lydias with them. Between one ferocious breath and the next, they’d broken through the Corrupted circle. She tumbled bonelessly into Ferdinand’s open arms. He took a brief moment to survey her and paled. “The meeting point isn’t far,” he said. “Support will be there.” He picked up Lydias and turned to run, but Ilya and Flora didn’t follow. 

“Sorry, but this is the end of the road for me,” Flora said wryly. “Didn’t think it’d end like this.” She spat out a wad of purple fluid. “At least these fuckers will go down with me.”

“And you get the privilege of dying by my side,” Ilya said primly, readjusting his grip on his dagger. Flora laughed, an edge of sadness in her voice. “Yeah, old man, I guess I do.”

Lydias stirred in Ferdinand’s arms. “No,” she said, forcing herself to meet their gazes. “I won’t allow it.” 

“Unfortunately, Commandant,” Ilya said. “This time it’s not up to you.” He raised his remaining hand in a salute. “It’s been a pleasure working with you.”

“Go on,” Flora growled. “We’ll make sure nobody pursues you.”

Ferdinand pursed his lips, but nodded tightly. Lydias fought in his grip. She hardly even felt the pain. “No!” she screamed, or tried to. It was hard to tell where her voice was. “Don’t! I forbid it! That’s an order!” He started running. She watched helplessly as the distance grew. “Stop! Go back, we have to help them! Stop!”

In the fading light, Ilya fell and was immediately consumed by a horde of Corrupted hands. His signal weakened then blinked out. A scream tore itself from her throat. She thrashed in Ferdinand’s grip and felt his hold on her loosen. White-hot pain shot through her body as she tumbled to the ground. Mad with grief, she crawled forward desperately, mind blank except for the desire to be with her Wolves. 

Strong arms lifted her up. Ferdinand’s lively voice was dull. “Please don’t do this, Lydias.” 

“Let go, Ferdie,” she said angrily. “We have to--” Flora’s signal flickered out. Lydias felt her spirit break. “No,” she cried. “Please, no.” Tears streamed down her cheeks. Words abandoned her. The world seemed to shrink, compacting to a single thought: she had failed. 

-----------

She woke to white light. Something beeped steadily beside her. Tubes ran from her body to several machines like the tentacles of some deep sea creature. Her entire body hurt. Immediately, she reached for the Black Wolves, but their signals were absent, leaving her mind uncomfortably empty. Panic settled like ice in her veins. It couldn’t be. It was impossible. 

Surely, they had recalled their consciousnesses. Surely, she’d simply woken up early. And where was Ferdie? Gasping, Lydias stood, dragging her broken body to the wall of windows. She brought a fist to the cool glass. Nikola watched her from the other side. “Where are they,” she croaked. “What happened?”

He shook his head sympathetically. “They didn’t recall their consciousness. According to our records, Ilya and Flora died protecting you from pursuit. Ferdinand was infected.” His eyes were grave. “He guarded you until reinforcements arrived.”

She didn’t know if she could bear the answer, but she asked anyway. “And then?”

Nikola studied her for a long moment before giving in. “And then the Punishing Virus took over his M.I.N.D. He escaped because we prioritised your survival.” A desperate hope sparked to life within her. “So he’s still alive? Then there’s still a chance! Please, let me find him!”

“You know it doesn’t work like that.” 

“Please,” she begged. “Please.”

He turned away from her. “The Purifying Force has already been sent after him. I’m sorry, Lydias.”

-----------

Three weeks later

“Are you sure?” Nikola asked, studying her with intensity. “Your chances of success are only 47%.”

Lydias stared at him blankly. “I’m sure.”

“I’m afraid I can’t allow it. Commandants are valuable to Babylonia. Perhaps even more than Constructs. Few possess the will and compatibility to stabilize M.I.N.Ds. Someone as experienced as you is not expendable.”

“Then I quit being a Commandant. I refuse to lead another squad.” She looked away. “I couldn’t protect any of them. Not a single one.” Her voice broke. “I’m not… I don’t think I can--I just can’t.”

Nikola considered her with some pity. “What do you want then, Lydias?”

“You know what I want. I’m not afraid of dying.”

“I know you’re not afraid, but it seems to me like you seek it.”

She said nothing. Nikola sighed. “I’d rather not lose you completely. You have experience and ability. The Black Wolves were specifically chosen for that mission for your competence. Aife will increase our combat power significantly against the Corrupted.” He pinched the bridge of his nose. “It’s unfortunate, but these things happen at war.”

“Say whatever you want,” Lydias said stubbornly. “But this is my final decision.”

“Fine,” Nikola said. “Your attempt at redemption is admirable. I’ll grant your request, but if you survive, you’ll work directly under me. Is that acceptable?”

“Perfectly.”

INTERLUDE HIDDEN CHAPTER

F A D I N G   L I G H T

Flora: Fairfrost - Voice Log 

*sounds of fighting* I hope this reaches you, Commandant. I don’t think I’m gonna last much longer and… *grunting* I just wanna say goodbye. The old man’s already gone. I felt his signal die out a while ago. He went down taking a blade for me, can you believe it? Even though I’m the Attacker Construct. *panting* You know what his last words to me were? “It hurts.” As if our pain receptors weren’t turned off. I know what he means though. *blades clashing* After all, we all wanna go back home with you. But life’s a bit unfair, eh? For once, I don’t mind. Protecting your back… it almost makes me feel like a hero. That ain’t something you experience every day, y’know? *metal tearing* I guess what I’m trying to say is thank you. For being someone worthy of love. *crash, wet coughing* It’s been my honour and privilege to have been one of your Wolves, Commandant. You’ll remember me, won’t you?

-----------

Ferdinand: Aegis - Voice Log 

Lydias… This will probably be my last communication with you. I never would have thought this would be how it ends, but… Well, I’m just glad that I get to spend my final moments with you. I can feel my M.I.N.D. slipping, but Babylonia will be here any second now. They’ll take care of you, the way I wish I could. *sigh* Ah, there are so many things I want to say. I have nothing to lose anymore, so I hope you’re ready to listen. *deep breath* I love you. The way you laugh at my jokes and tease me. The way you can talk about anything. Your smile, your lips. I love the way you kiss me. And of course, I love our late night activities… Such as you trying to teach me to dance. *short laughter* Were you expecting me to say something else, Commandant? You--*grunt, glitching* Looks like my time is running out. I should go, but promise me one thing, Lydias. Promise me you’ll keep your heart open, so that someone else can love you as you deserve. I--You--*glitches*

DATA CORRUPTED.

[crossovereddie]

Thoughts on Gallavich Hall of Shame

Wow okay this is the latest I’ve ever posted a weekly recap and I feel awful about it but mom life amirite? I’ve seen a lot of negative posts about this episode( maybe I just follow the wrong people) so ngl I’m kinda worried about watching it. Ugh. This is why I try to not look up things until I’ve had a chance to recap because I hate being influenced by other people’s opinions BUT I’m gonna try my best to find the positive things in the episode and keep this light hearted and fun like I’ve been trying to do all season! Okay I’ll shut up now and get right into why you’re really reading this post:

Oh baby Gallavich :(((((

THEY WERE SO LITTLE

Bitch don’t even say the word divorce

They’re sitting side by side playing a game together 😭😭😭😭

Mickey loves blowing ian pass it on

Oh fuck I forgot that belt move ian did 🤤🤤🤤

Nob job lmao

MID GOBBLE

ugh Ned was the most disgusting piece of shit

Who are those two exes wtf

I don’t know their names but I forgot I never watched any episode Mickey wasn’t in lmao

WAIT A WOMAN WHAT THE FUCK

Wow Mickey Milkovich really deserves so much better

Compilation of Mickey saying fuck THANK YOU

Omfg s4 Mickey was actually perfect

“Course you will. That’s your whole fucking MO” oh shit..

Wow remembering the past is really making me hate ian again lmao

Just when I started loving him for once

But then I remember how much he’s grown and I love him again

Fuck the writers tho

Let me write Gallavich please I’d do a much better job

Okay y’all really made it seem like Mickey was super offensive with his bipolar comment

I’m bipolar and hate when people use the term lightly but cmon guys that was nothing

He even called it a bipolar episode. He didn’t say anything offensive at all omfg. I was over here thinking he called him a psycho or something.

Some of y’all just gotta stop watching and stick to fanfics or something.

“I wish I never met you.” “Me either” THEN THEIR FUCKING WEDDING FUCK YALL NOW IM IN MY FEELS 😭😭

They’ve been through so much wow

Okay I need to see Mickey wearing a fanny pack

THE RING AND THE FLASHBACK STOP

GIVE MICKEY AND IAN A BABY

Fuck I need to rewatch the wedding

“Stupid gallagher” same

Mickey giving the Fanny pack back my boy is such a Good Samaritan wow I raised you so well I’m so proud my perfect son

SHIT I JUST REALIZED WHAT SONG IS PLAYING FUCK THIS YALL IM OUT 😭😭😭😭😭

Oh gosh I thought we were done seeing ian Gallagher’s dance moves

Why would they put us through that again

“Stupid Milkovich” you watch your mouth

But we love when a man learns from his mistakes

Now kiss

Mickey is beautiful damn ian is so lucky

Now this is the type of flashback I like to see

MICKEY SAYING HES SENSITIVE DO YALL REALIZE HOW BIG THAT IS?!

Ugh I love him so much

I’m so proud to be his mom

Okay unpopular opinion but I actually love that little how’d your bipolar tirade go how’d your stealing shit go

If you’ve been with someone through their rock bottoms you’ll understand how not offensive at all that interaction was

They both said things they felt bad about saying and now they’re having a bit of banter about it

“We work well together”

GUYES THEYRE ACTUALLY TALKING THINGS OUT THIS IS HUGE

They needed space after feelings got hurt but now they’re coming together to make up and actually talk things over

They’re learning and growing apart AND together

They both had the horrible childhoods and they’re doing their best

It takes years and years of therapy to work through deep rooted issues like that. I’m STILL seeing a therapist twice a week and I still have issues.

Just imagine. They’re how old? Mid to late twenties and neither of them have properly dealt with their issues and mental health problems. You can’t expect them to be the perfect couple you read about in fanfics. Yeah shameless is over the top but it’s a tv show that has stayed on the air for 11 seasons BECAUSE of how over the top it is. Stop expecting these characters to be healed healthy woke changed characters from one season to the next when they haven’t even properly dealt with their issues and it would honestly be very ooc if they did deal with their issues in a healthy way

I wish they would but that’s not the shameless way.

Well that was a long rant but honestly it was needed

Ugh I hate reliving terry this is the worst my heart is breaking

I skipped fast

Terry is definitely worse but yeah they’re both pieces of shit

Shit I forgot how abusive frank was

They both deserve so much better

They’re so cute oh gosh

We love communication

Okay but fr taking a bath with your SO isn’t as romantic as people think or maybe I’m just not a romantic lmao

Unless it’s a big bathtub with leg room

Mickey has the best lines

He’s so funny 😭😭😭

Mickey loves being manhandled✨✨✨✨

Honestly? I really think they would be really into some safe consensual bdsm play and they deserve to have that

PICK HIM UP IAN PLEASE ITS WHAT HE WANTS

fucking love you

I love you too

MUTUAL I LOVE YOUS ARE MY FAVORITE THING

IAN LOVES TO DO THE THUMB THING I CANT

HE DID IT EIGHT TIMES IN THREE SECONDS I COUNTED

they’re so perfect for each other :(((

A kissing compilation 😭😭

THE S7 VAN KISS HAS MY HEART

I still want a scene of Mickey making fun of Ian’s black hair

THE WEDDING 😭😭😭

I’m in tears again

THE KEY CHANGE WITH IAN SAYS MICKEY STILL GETS ME 😭😭😭😭

“Now?” HOW DOES ONE WORD GET SUCH A BIG REACTION FROM ME

I deserved to be at that wedding 😭😭😭

“But not these newlyweds” damn right

THE BLOOPERS

I love them so much

I LOVE SEEING NOEL AND CAM AT WORK

What a treat

SWEET LOVING MOUTH

THE THUMB THING AGAIN

JUST FOR ME

I MISS SEASONN FOUR MICKEY I WANNA GO WATCH HIM NOW

I love Mickey more than anything 😭😭

Okay that was so much better than I was expecting! I know I ranted a lot and I’m probably gonna get some angry comments and messages but I honestly don’t care. Have your opinion and I’ll have my own and if you wanna discuss things like adults I’ll reply but if not then I don’t have time for the negativity. My boys actually communicated and didn’t self sabotage for once and I’m so proud. I love not being as invested as I used to be because now I can actually enjoy their scenes! Anyway it’s late where I’m at and I haven’t been getting much sleep so I’m gonna stop rambling. Let me know what you thought of this episode! Oh and real quick! I noticed I got a flood of new followers in the past two weeks so i just wanted to say feel free to send me messages on and off anon! I like talking to y’all! I promise I’m nice lol! Okay bye I love Mickey so much!

[reynauldapologist]

What darkest dungeon mods do you like? I'm think abt doing another run. Confide in me your secrets.

i use a lot of different ones for different runs, and they all impact the game in radically different ways, so i’ll break them down into categories to make things easier:

aesthetic/non-impactful mods:

[these are either skin mods or only change a very small aspect of the game]

Remove Narrator from Endless Loading Screen 

this does exactly what it says. you no longer have to listen to Grampy Darkest give his dissertation on why he’s the Most Evil and Fucked Up Guy around every time you wanna hop back into the farmstead. 

Perfect Faster Dungeon 

CANNOT RECOMMEND THIS ONE ENOUGH!!! i have no clue how i ever played this game without it. it increases walking speed, combat pacing, scouting, and end screen results without choppiness or awkward animations. this is perfect if you’re a weirdo like me and you’re trying to grind for all of the achievements or if you’re a longtime player or if you simply have a need for speed

Unofficial Palette Expansion Pack

hands down my favorite skin mod ever! it gives each base game class five new palettes to choose from. the recolors are subtle, but very well-done and visually unique, and they blend right in with the rest of the game. if you value immersion from your mods like i do, you’ll really like this one. there are also palette expansion packs by the same creator for the flagellant, shieldbreaker, and musketeer

Jester On-The-Run

i installed this one shortly after starting my all-jester run. i adore the design and how well it blends into the game’s art style. i almost like this one better than his canon skin, it fits his backstory much better

annnnd since i was neck-deep in crusaders and ONLY crusaders for a little while, i ended up installing quite a few crusader skins, which i’ll now dump here:

Warden Crusader Skin / Deus Vult Skin Set / Crusader Soul of Cinders Skins / Accurate Templar Crusader Palette / Crusader Knight Skin

class mods

[note: i haven’t had the chance to mess around with these in an actual run yet, i added these to my longest save after i had already beaten the final boss]

The Veiled

i haven’t had the chance to utilize the veiled much in my expeditions, but a lot of love and effort went into this mod and it really shows. he uses similar mechanics as the flagellant - the closer to death he is, the more powerful he becomes - but cranked up to nine. he has great healing and offensive abilities, as well as a decent debuff skillset. this mod has fantastic art, of course, and would probably fit right in with a good mark team

The Commandant

it might take you a little while to learn how to properly use this guy, but once you do it’s well worth the effort. he’s a great debuff/stress healing support class if utilized correctly, but he can dish out some heavy damage of his own if you have a little patience. cool aesthetics and a unique concept elevate this class quite a bit for me

The Stargazer

this dude is the definition of a glass canon. super low HP, but high dodge and the potential to deal out some serious damage. he has two states, each with four abilities (kinda like abom!), that he has a 40% chance of switching between, making him a decently versatile class, if a little unpredictable. he was made with the intention of being a color of madness specific class, in the same way that the flagellant was made for the crimson court. i was first drawn to his aesthetics tbh, i adore all the work that went into designing this mod, from the design to the unique animations and sounds

script/gameplay mods

[these mods fundamentally change the gameplay]

Bigger Balanced Roster - Max 99

does what you would expect: increases your roster to 99. i use this for my completed save, so that i can test out different comps and class mods to my heart’s content. i wouldn’t recommend this for a serious run, because it totally destroys a core aspect of the game’s difficulty lmao. i haven’t encountered any bugs with this one and i still receive 1-4 lvl heroes in my stagecoach regularly

Crusader Only

here it is. the mod that took over my life for six months. does what it says: ensures that only crusaders show up in your stagecoach and eliminates all non-crusader class-specific trinkets. i didn’t encounter any bugs with this mod at all. this creator has also made [class]-only mods for all of the other heroes, including a bunch of different combos (like crusader-arbalest only, shieldbreaker-flagellant only, etc). check out their work if you’re interested in Testing Your Patience Abilities

Eternal Fanatic

typically, once you’ve killed the countess, the fanatic will cease spawning. this is great if you're a normal person with a healthy relationship to video games, not so great if you’re a completionist and a cautious scaredy-cat and have successfully avoided him during your entire Crimson Court run. activating this mod on a save means that the fanatic will begin spawning again, albeit with a slightly lower chance. once you’re sick of him, you can deactivate the mod and play normally once again. 

Last Man Standing

aka Reynauld Goes Beast Mode. this mod restricts you to one hero - Reynauld - and forces you to use him and only him for the entirety of your run. all eight of his skills are active at once and buffed to the gills, he has seven total armor/weapon upgrades, and he can carry three trinkets at once. but that doesn’t mean this will be an easy endeavor. as you might have guessed, you can’t toss rey in the sanitarium to deal with pesky quirks or diseases or stress-heal him in the hamlet. you just have to tough it out. i would highly recommend you use this in conjunction with the Perfect Faster Dungeon mod above. unfortunately, this mod is rather buggy in its current state. ive had problems with reliable quest spawning and many of his skills don’t function the way their description says they should (such as his added riposte). im including it anyways because it’s a really cool concept and has a lot of potential! i’ll be keeping an eye on it

and that’s everything i regularly use! i hope this was helpful & good luck on your runs :)

[draganasimpsforjeff]

Hey, how are you? Hope your day/night is going well. Since I saw your post a moment ago do you have any Hcs; it can be sfw or NSFW with any theme like Angst or fluff for the proxies or Masky? Again sorry if this ask isn't the best

No its quite a good ask thank you! (Had to drag my procrastinating ass to do this bc my brain doesn't wanna do work now lmao)

MASKY

• SFW

•this dude would rather dive off a cliff then to admit his feelings are true

• has a hard time seeing the rational side of situations and would rather see the world as black and white as its simple that way

• he is a hunting dog after all to Slender

• one that growls and bites

• so like a dog that was trained to be aggressive and bare his teeth at anything, it would take someone with great care and patience to understand him and make him feel safe around you

• tho this doesn't mean that he won't protect you

• might make snide comments about your naive nature but thats just bc of how he is

• but make him morning coffee and possibly his favorite breakfast and he'll warm up

• he hates being touched on the shoulders but if you give him a massage then good luck getting out of it, itll become a daily thing

•NSFW

• i cannot see him being soft or "vanilla" unless he's in Tim headspace

• so if its Masky, prepare for a lot of sadism

• will definitely take you anywhere even on a mission, middle of a meal, or talking to someone on the phone

• gotta leave his mark. If you don't feel comfortable with showing his marks to anyone and try to wear clothes that hide a lot of them, they're gonna get ripped up

• so its best to just deal with it

• BSDM all the way (like I mentioned before)

• loves to humiliate and will do it in front of anyone

• will not stop until you are a crying, shaking mess, so there's a lot of overstimulation

Hoodie

•SFW

• alright enough with the nice guy shit (tho there may be some fluff...guh)

• just because he's the more level headed out of the other two fuckers, does not mean he will hesitate to fuck someone up (especially those he cares about)

• hes a protector of sorts but he'll choose to whom

• do.not.touch.his.gun

• that's his main source of security and if someone even gets close to it, he will break their fucking arm

• total caffeine addict...really..its bad? See him over there? He's shaking and talking to his coffee

•lmao anyways yeah its bad, if he has no caffeine for the day...he can get worse than Masky and that's saying something

• yes, I'm hc as an addict to sedatives

• tho he doesn't like that his brain takes longer to think about the best options and make it almost impossible get missions done

• but he's calm boi now

NSFW

• not the type to just take his anger out or his other emotions out during sex

• unless you're up for it 👀👀👀

• you're gonna need to see a chiropractor after tho

• hes a smooth flirt and will non stop making jokes until he has you under him

• daddy kink all the way

• financial one too

• he will not care if he only has $1 for himself that week, he'll get money somehow to buy his s/o something they want

• loves to feel his s/o skin against his, so not much into bondage as he wants them close and gripping on him

• definitely into receiving oral (mostly bc hes insecure about his ability to do wonders to his s/o with oral)

• mightusehisgunifyouactlikeabrat

Toby

SFW

• Okay, this boi is emotionally unstable, ik its like a common knowledge that he has ADHD and bipolar but I'm sensing this boi got some borderline personality disorder in the mix too (dw: I have this so I'm not making this up to make him more fucked up)

• so one minute he will go from seeing black and white, to suddenly the whole world in beautiful colors and appreciates everything

• doesn't like to talk about his feelings because he hates his vocal tics getting in the way

• so he picks songs that reflect that

• speaking of music, he really shouldn't but listens to music on missions to ignore Maskys comments and psychs himself up..especially if he got thay heavy bass going on, he's tense and paranoid to where his mind works best for the situation

• some of the music will trigger more of his ADHD side and notices everything

• will go from "I want to eat everything" to "what the fuck is the point of food" (queue E.J coming in)

• boi has deep trauma issues, the voices in his head mostly takes form of his step dad, mom, and his sister. (Mostly step dad tho)

• has difficulty with relationships so one might he can get along with his partners and others in the mansion and then suddenly get pissed off and yeet a chair at someone's head

•do.not.give.him.coffee

• mania mixed with bpd and caffeine...oh god.. you don't know what the fuck is gonna happen so...good luck

NSFW

• like I said, he's emotionally unstable (gawd I hate the way that sounded)

• so, one minute he will be afraid to hurt you and then will not give a single fuck

• why the fuck are you crying? Who gave you the right?

• will try anything unless it comes to bodily fluids or feet...no he will die first (no offense to those who do, this is just our boi)

• call him baby boy and he melts

• MOMMY KINK

• definitely a switch

• can get emotional during sex

• its not his fault tho

• but he can be submissive mode at this point (so have fun)

• loves it when his s/o is being a brat and likes to toy with them

• such a tease

• also has a daddy kink

[misterbitches]

I ship muren and li cheng bc i only saw it through gifs then i watched this episode cos i was like im only starting this show if they kiss im waiting and they did and it was nice and i got so anxious that i was about to fucking vomit. I really like them together. The top/bottom shit is dumb and i hope if they must mention it they all build a bridge and get over it so they can switch cos who gives a shit. I didnt realize how large they all are like most “tall” men on tv are lying. But bc that kid is so thin and tall and the other one (idk the stepbrother) is huge too. Li cheng is shorter than them both but more ~manly~ but still short so why doesnt he take a DICK UP HIS BUTT XD since that’s all that fucking matters and there’s only 2 genders and 2 eays to have sex lmao so nothing else otherwise ur screwed

Hd a terrible past couple of weeks personally and because i keep seeing my peopl eget murdered and things ripped from us ^_____^ anyway here’s Some libertatrian communist dumb bitch discoars so i’ll tag it:

keep in mind these are my opinions’”” when i engage in discourse. I am not the end all be all and I don’t need you to agree. There’s some shit I am non-negotiable on but thsi is just exchanging of information. Any authoratative tone I take on comes from my beliefs, my life, my experiences, and what I choose to cultivate as a person and an artist. I dont have control over your feelings, you do. If it hurts you then either tell me the issue and be PRECISE about it, understand that context matters which is why i type so much in engagement, and do not fucking lie or misconstrue my words. Do not call me western ever in your life either. I am a black-american. I have adhd and bc i am a black woman if ur automatically thinking im brolic i am accepting money in my paypal for ur wellbeing to get me to shut the fuck up.Thanks.

The stepbrothers storyline is stupid and lazy writing. I really want to counter people that say it’s written well and that it’s interesting because it isn’t. Even if it was illicit and fucked we can write a story out about this. Let’s rethink what they could have done shall we:

- become stepbrothers at about 16 and their parents mismanage the relationship and they fail in trying to get an integrated family together (this is what happened in the #iconic transit girls and that was fuckin’ weird but hey dude guess what we watched it and it was weird but not unethical and we know one is like 19 and the other is 21 and a girl so it’s like wow you avoided so much and handled their stepsister story very…….um lightly given the end lmao but it was there and people had AGENCY)

-OR you realize that freak is obsessed with him and then he realizes it and is like “bitch i swear to god” and in typical shtity trope BL fashion they can find a way from obsession, to loss and independence when you lose your obsession, to “love” if they choose

- have the fucked up shit but make it clear what the issues are and you literally cannot write your way out of it so do not try

But why can’t fucked up things be shown? Also this is realistic.

0. Well according to you but no one said that they can’t. So that’s on your interpretation of critique (that is, again, not bullying or harassment.) They can, i just gave plenty of scenarios in which it is affective and not just annoying to witness, trope-y, and frankly ridiculous and offensive. Sorry! They don’t do it well. You can come up with alternatives too. See #2 btw.

1. No it isn’t doing a good job of reflecting life because life has consequences. The exaggeration in drama doesn’t mean the arc shouldn’t be there. Almost always things that aren’t heavy with the message or meant to be sobering in a deep way are COMPELLING. The realism is the basis for art because we are human. This is not the way real humans act.

Someone said Tharn Type was mature and I had to laugh because no, no one acts that way and is “in love” if they act that way that means they fucking hate each other and they’re immature and frankly it’s just not that interesting for many of us to watch because the dramatization of the “realism” is fucking bonkers. That was such poor writing it is unbelievable and someone has the audacityt o say it’s how real adults act. Fucking murder me if I’m with someone for 7 years and we break up over a miscommunication and for some reason I am not as horny as my always horny boyfriend. The fuck? What kind of lives do you lead? Either you are not an adult or you are an adult who needs therapy.

I also hear the “realistic” argument but then people try and temper it with “but also it’s fiction.” What do you think fiction is? Why do you think filmmaking exists? Number one, it’s propaganda in the sense that you want others to buy into your presentation and see what you see. That means that the creators are telling people and influencing them WITH ART BECAUSE THAT’S WHAT IT IS about their feelings around a situation. That’s why it is imperative to be responsible as a filmmaker and artist and underline the deepness of creepiness if that’s what they want. If they want to relay that rape sometimes ok and psychos are crazy so they get boy (??!?!?!? BITCH?) then they achieved it with no innovative information. We know people get raped bc we are human beings and many of us live with that fear. You know, being the target demo and all. And bc BL loves that trope it’s rape fantasy peddled to young people and women. Just like shitty wattpad fics or NYT best sellers. Hooray, what now? Or are you trying to purport that this isn’t glorified fanfiction? Which it literally is

2. This is the issue with these shows. No one is saying that fucked up shit cannot be shown. There’s a film about a woman who is raped and she falls in love with her rapist (because he was masked but i think we find out later that she knows. Binoche is in it.) I have no desire for that film—i think it’s by a man and i extra dont care—but I hear it’s sort of powerful for many. I heard it was a good film. But the act itself is always eschewed and the conflict comes from how fucking ridiculous it is especially finding out that she knows. The power imbalance adn the possibility. They may not have handled it in a way I would have cared for but it was there.

There’s simply no imagination because these people do not care that much and aren’t great writers and filmmakers because they simply do not have to be. Sorry.

The industry doesn’t rely on the best they rely on efficiency (this is everywhere.) You can tell by the camera angles, the editing, the camera itself (idk if it is multicam but the flatness is typical soap flatness without the glowboxes to soften their faces.) Simple constant lighting. Now the surroundings are mostly beautiful. But even to some of the costumes. And those edits are abysmal, some of that camera work.

So with all that said even with the couple I extremely enjoy I see its (H4) faults. Add into that a lazily thrown together “shocking” love and if they are trying to get us to feel a type of way about its sexiness they fail. This is why movies like 50sog, 365 days, etc aren’t enjoyable to people because it’s fucking strange situations that they dont want to entangle or make enjoyable to viewers across the board. They know what people will take. It’s just that bitch what are we here for if even the sexiness isn’t there for ur stupid story.

At least with that teenager and 30 yr old man in MODC (which i do not love but i like them in theory if it wasnt totally repulsive to me and also if it was developed in a way that was good TO ME) they had their, er, “sex appeal” i talk about this as well the main couple in MODC to me, visually, was a miss. Not bc whatshisface was small and stuff but bc he was so sickly and they needed that to propel the story but it was just not appealing given how the story progressed. A missed opportunity in tying the two together besides making him look waif-y and sickly only to have the “did ur mom die in a car crash? No, cancer” type of move in not another teen movie. But the opposite. And not funny. Wayne tho????? GORL. Eggs. Cracked.

fandoms have a very warped sense of harrassment and discourse.

Most fandoms have harassers who are “protecting” the cast and crew who don’t need their protection (or maybe the crew does since they probably dont get paid well but why the fuck would anyone care about that lol) but very few have the people who have concerns or massive critique about the show are not going to be “bullying.”

If people are saying “if you like xyz, u suck” then sure it may suck for you to see but who fucking cares. Either talk to the person or don’t be friends with them. That is not bullying or harrassment. Things that are shitty get criticized. Fuck, things that aren’t shitty don’t. Get away from this idea of cancel culture and people misunderstanding the story. We have the ability to.

Think beyond your noses of personal preference. You don’t have to convince people of what you believe. Discussing it is good but critique is not bullying, harrassment, or hate. Neither is fucking roasting shit because even this shit I like (manner of death lets say) deserves it. Art is meant to be critiqued and if you dont fucking like the bullshit people make then say it. They know stupid stories like this are scandalous and they don’t give a shit in how to present them.

And guess what? You won’t like everybody. Many people can’t stand me i’m sure. Oh well. I mean frankly I don’t like that and I feel very unsettled when I don’t feel understood. That’s ok! I have to temper it. Sometimes calm myself down. I won’t get anything and everything I want. And you won’t like every opinion and sometimes it’s like “man am i a dummy?” But the part of growing up is fucking maanging that and beng honest about “bashing and harrassment” and “bullying” and growing up. Yuo can like what you want the “let people like what they want thing” is so fucking juvenile and THAT is not the real world. Which is probably why so many people feel that way, they dont want to live in the real world. Unfortunately, you do.

Think beyond our noses of personal preference and what we feel emotionally in conjunction with others. You don’t have to convince people of what you believe. And you can say things that you believe to be true but it doesn’t make them so or maybe it isn’t received that way to people. And many times we learn new things in the discussions “oh shit i didn’t see it that way” right? Discussing it is good but critique is not bullying, harrassment, or hate. Neither is fucking roasting shit because even this shit I like (manner of death lets say) deserves it. Art is meant to be critiqued and if you dont fucking like the bullshit people make then say it. They know stupid stories like this are scandalous and they don’t give a shit in how to present them. Usually the “opposition” in these situations aren’t the popular beliefs that permeate through society. Trust me lmao

Antiblackness

Antiblackness is a thing. It permeates everywhere. It permeates in this genre and it permeates in fandom. Get it the fuck together. Also do not conflate cultural relativism with being repsectful. They are not barbarians, they are smart human beings either making work or deciding to. We all have diff cultures but we have fucking sense in what is respectful and not. And if we don’t we fucking learn. You cannot excuse things and say “oh culture” when you have 0 idea of that culture or actual people who are radical etc and are fighting against it. Additionally the word westerner is an ignorant term when referring to people in the US or UK who are black. Because we are not. We extend sympathy to other groups and empathy since we know so there is no inherent power imbalance between a black viewer and their subject. Don’t suggest that because it’s wrong and ahistorical and contextless.

FIRST the fallacy of representation as freedom makes people fucking complacent, individualistic, and doesn’t let them think critically. Consumption and discourse around consumption is not helping material conditions of the marginalized communities in your home, the black ones who are ignored, those intersectionalized in these communities. Groups talk about art and what it means for them outside of just what we see and because we also don’t have access to a bunch of Thai reviews or what movements or going on we are less likely to know if we don’t FUCKING SEARCH for it. Because art is constant...which leads me to....

Representation is difficult. It matters and it doesn’t.

Tthese shows are not meant to overturn the LGBTQ+ community.

There are queer filmmakers and artists in these countries. Deep illustrious film careers or even TV that is moving and deliberate. We can even see it with the dude from “your name engraved” in their short series he was in beforehand. BL is no wa pejorative because it is simply not “qu**r” storytelling whatever that means. But know it has always existed everywhere and there are also out artists or radical artists in all these countries who do no respect mediums that are cash-grabs and poorly made.

ex: As much as “Like in the Movies” sort of isnt for me and is a bit hamfisted you can tell how much love goes into that. Love of the characters, acting, and message. Yes it’s cringey to see some of the lines (like very tbh subtlety wasnt exactly their strong suit) and yea naming them after lenin and marx is just 0ihgoaudgijposkagjihou BUT GUESS WHAT? THEY FUCKING DID IT. THEY TRIED. And class was a large component as well bc u cant fuckin ignore it. The show is aware of the machinations in its world as a show but also in the philippines and for a fuckin reason. And duatarte? Loooooooool so like yea not so sure bl makes him love his ppl but the show isnt trying to do that

It’s not a transgressive genre and it has no reason to be. No ethical anything under the way we live it’s just trying your fucking best to be. That’s it. They serve societal ills and capital’s purposes. Which is fine but it is not revolutionary.

These countries in SEA or even SA do not have as big budget for even mainstream dramas—though things are changing and that’s bc REVENUE like revenue from kpop is fucking huge for SK and again so much about that is bc of what happened in their history from japanese imperialism to WWII to the US—so for “queer” stuff it is sort of now important to make that an export and it sure is one. Not only globally or to the west but a lot of these places make their money within asia (duh!) outside of their countries. OBVIOUSLY. so BL is a way to output and gain money. The thing is, it doesnt seem to be put back into the industry at all. For people in all these countries to make works that aren’t for mainstream or wont reach as many people there’s a difference between trying and just shoving shit in your face and going here it’s gay you like it right? But dont antagonize the inherent patriarchal nature of BL.

Another thing: did you guys know thailand was never colonized? You should look it up. There’s little hints of things in ITSAY to represent french influence still. Isnt that fascinating? Find out why. It’s certainly interesting that the representation, though damaging and dubious many times and also incorrect like any media, is huge in asia and this isnt a commodity here (the US) exactly. A lot of that has to do with colonial ideas of gender of which I am sure. But listen………lmao

Sometimes people dont give a shit. And it very much shows. Here is the thing once again. GOOD TRANSGRESSIVE WORK exists.

Een within the capitalist Bs paradigm or you can see people trying (I can sort of applaud parts of lovely writer) also queer media has always existed everywhere the reason you don’t know about it is because it gets takena nd commodified into a mainstream product. We hvae little incentive, particularly if we are not fans of cinema or art in gen, to search fror others when the output is right here. Being dictated by others and the state and who will give you money. No longer an effort of a cast and crew who want to convey things. But google [any country] independent cinema, radical cinema, queer radical cinema, or even retrospectives on the cinema and rethinking what is queer and radical in film. What if we took that, diluted it, got rid of the creators who put themselves through all the work, ignroe al the nuances and do……………….two actors who are conventionally attractive with no chemistry making out.

It’s the same here lets say daniel kaluuya winning the oscar for the film about the BPP. I heard it was okay and not too offensive but it still isnt’ enough. It still isn’t like hwood isn’t trash, nnati black, misogynistic towards BW and women, and all that other shit. It was pushy but it can’t be enough where we are. Black KKKlansmen i think won an oscar, by circumstance i fuckin hate these award shows they mean nothing, and i like the film a lot but he has his misogynoir still resting in his films even if it is poignant. And it was a film that honestly wasn’t really made for black people. And should all art be a response to direct trauma or trying to make ourselves palatable when we’re just human?

$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$ and it’s importance (capitalism) but also sorta individual responsibility

Considering a lot of these actors are rich and then just dip that’s another problem. Mainstream isn’t what sustains marginalized art ever. It doesn’t change in the vast ways we think it does. What changes is the people of these groups pushing, fighting, forcing and then capitalism trying to make it work under capitalism. It will not. It cannot.

This is why artists and labels often don’t mix or you see people like Sonic Youth doing whatever they want and pissing off their label but making them give them money. Same with Nirvana. Vince Staples. The thing is they can fight and make good shit but what capitalism helps people….not care? They don’t respect the audience? We’re getting those returns on poor executed product placement, lighting, editing, framing, fucking acting. And you surewon’t see mixed black asians in these shows. WHY R U is the oNLY one i have seen it in and he just disappears (but that was pretty cool.) so who the fuck is this representing? And before you start: asian countries are not homogenous the way we believe them to be. There are marginalized communities outside of even mixed people that are harmed. So you can skrrt cause on that one: you’re wrong buddy. But it gives us the IDEA of a paradise which is what they NEED.With representation and visibility comes consequence and responsibility as artists. What it allows them to do is coast and not think complexly because why should they; it’s mostly the fantasies of some older woman who probably has money and much less interaction with the world. It’s bonkers. And what that allows even further is for them to say YOU ARE THE THING THAT YOU CONSUME and the THING THAT YOU CONSUME IS YOURS. It is not, it is not your identity, form a close bond but figure it the fuck out. Especially for adults who are hellbent on twisting their minds into pretzels and can’t acknowledge what’s just laziness in art and not giving a fucking shit. Truly.

There’s damage that has been done from Parasite as he was supported by CJE&M and the bullshit obsession america had and eveyrone’s poor interpretation of it if they are rich. BJH is a socialist and he is a filmmaker. He has made films that are outstanding and cost a lot of money. But now a fear for indie filmmakers is just not being able to raise that much or have that much attention. Getting funding that helps them instead of expecting the Next Big Thing that is a fad because capitalism is trash. Yes this funneling of money is absolutely harmful to us artists. Even buying in is strategic. Additionally, that film is probs one of the most radical films to have that wide release and accolade (unlike “Sorry to Bother You” which i have a lot of thoughts about. One being that asian exports are acceptable but black ones are not. This is an overall art critique and global media critique. Blackness is removed, not respected.) However, filmmaking isn’t green, it can’t be socialist, and it’s a lot of work. They used tons and tons and TONS of water to do a huge beautiful feat but we still know there is a cost. We have to figure that out because it shouldn’t be. It doesn’t go back into the crew’s pockets the way it should and the work becomes that of the director’s and actors solely. It’s fucking hard. We have to do our part but it doesn’t mean we are doing it perfectly. We just have to try to do better. So does BJH cos he needs to not be a misogynist but anyways i digress.

additionally and this is something some users fail to understand: people in the media sphere generally have fucking money. I went to film school that was international with super fucking rich kids. Taiwanese kids, kids from south asia, china, thailand. They had money. No not upper middle class money, not “rich” money, not some paltry 1m that’s chump change. Fucking money. Fucking RICH-RICH. MILLIONAIRES. BILLIONAIRES. WHICH IS DISGUSTING MIGHT I ADD. The domestic people didn’t have the money for school (in the UK) and i am in a massive amount of debt like every other black student that went there. You do not understand how much money is needed to survive so people who turn to these crew positions even casting etc need this fucking money usually. OKAY. A lot of the people that do well in these dumb shows or even on a larger scale HAVE MONEY. The reason these industries are small and struggling is because of lack of people and lack of resources to independent shit because oh gee it takes money to make things.

Why should I try? Well you don’t have to really if you have money or a name. Yet...

We can tell when like those Tik Tok shows or DCOMs dont give a shit (anymore.) You know how frustrated we get when content for young people is garbage? Well, see, BL is literally that under that system. Occasionally we will get something good now but there is virtually no need in any sector in the world at this point to truly figure out how to make it better and what to do to enhance artistic literacy, outreach, teaching people new things, getting people from these communities there and having true realistic says. Art and culture is IMPERATIVE TO WORLD LIBERATION but not when it is so stiffly trying to bend to capital’s idea of progressiveness. No. Neoliberalism. No.

That’s why in a way ITSAY is a huge feat; it takes from films etc and they clearly had money (the actors rae rich too which….lmaooooo j’aime pas) but it was a respected fucking script, acting was important, blocking, framing. There’s very little to critique as a visual medium for that because I understand what they are trying to do, their market is going to be mostly young girls, but they RESPECT THE FUCKING AUDIENCE. And guess what guys? You can make money from it!!!! WOAH! Since that may be the only goal which is disgusting and repulsive.

HOWEVER AND THIS IS WHAT IS SAD: itsay is an ex of a great show however knowing the actors backgrounds and the pseudo trouble it stirred when they weren’t supporting people protesting against the coup in the summer it really put a damper on my enjoyment. And this is how we can see that:

a) it’s honestly just a show and a good one but b) now what?

These kids (actors, who are like idk 19? 20?) are rich and not saying anything while countless actors, who were filming, did. Even tul who has $$$$ and the thing is the protesting against the coup legitimately attacks the rich. As it should. The protests going on were cries for help, against a dictatorship and fucking coup, asking people to get fucking help for covid, having kids be able to live. There’s a mini on VICE about this and it probably doesnt go too in depth but there’s a kid in there who talks about his friends getting into drugs and how he just wants to make music, have fun, skateboard. And it’s harrowing to see. This is a direct example of what these things do and don’t do. Yea we know a good show is here, we know growing up and slice of life, we know this is a bit of escapism and idealism but the idealism is reflected in the way these actors also choose to live their lives. So what progress? To who? For who? How is this helping me? What purpose does it serve? I say ITSAY serves its purpose as a piece and a glimpse into possibility of growing up but i do not say it antagonizes a broader issue that needs to be relevant in some sense but simply is not. It’s very singleminded and, well, it’s sort of like “besides my sexuality, what do i have to worry about?” But for real humans like....a lot. I do not respect their decision at all.

Why can’t we do our jobs and make something decent and respect our audience? No time, gotta make that sweet sweet sweet cash baybee. Look how progressive we are! Don’t look at history and material conditions. Thanks in advance, management.

History 4 does not have that respect. Many of these shows do not. Sometimes we hit good, sometimes we don’t. But in the end we cannot settle. And I won’t. If I am critiquing something I will not be shy and if I am meant to enjoy something as escapism then these shows NEED to highlight that and it’s rare sometimes (the best twins is a good reminder like that show is bad but man do i Brain Empty when i turn it on and i like that and there’s not much in it that makes me want to kill myself from annoyance but there are transphobic jokes i dont love however the whole show is a comedy about this dude’s crazy homophobic sister and she is constantly positioned as wrong and they talk about the aforementioned trans women as the actor was in drag. Interesting that they can manage that, huh?)

Oh btw.....taiwan has a very complicated history but ignore all the bad stuff it’s good now you can kinda sorta get married and stuff. KMT? You know how i learned that? I care about human beings and read about it lmao. I am not Taiwanese and look at that. So now I have historical and DIALECTICAL~**~*~****~*~*~ context so i can judge it as an artist, a black woman from america, and from the knowledge i have to pick up on their history to see if this fits into a broader picture besides the micro-one of sexuality on an individualized level. And this is kinda where it comes full circle: these shows are not you, you are not them, they do not exist in a vacuum because nothing does. The failure to critique now means continuing on as it has and it will still do so. History and time are not linear in the sense we think it is. Someitmes things are better, sometimes things feel more austere. We are not living under liberation though and these shows are not going to do so. So they are not US nor are they for a nebulous “us” of which the groups are all fractured and have diff opinions anyway (my opinion as a black american is going to vary from an asian woman’s say and that could really clash and i do not feel solidarity with all those in every community i am for several reasons.)

Final thots that have taken up my time and the only thing i actually wanted to write but got distracted:

Anyway my dissertation is that I ilke Muren and LiCheng a lot a lot and i like how cute they are and how truly dumb li cheng is. This is an example of mostly good writing, decent actors, nice chemistry, and sort of a calmness to them. And I super enjoy how Muren is pretty forward with LC in the sense that being together is like very important to truly be together. When he was like “no i didnt forget!” Or when LC asked him something in the office I forget it was 6 am and again i almost threw up and muren nodded and then LC leaned on him. Very cute. I want more of them tho i may have to skip that othre couple (the cameo the ones from MODC) but omfg the younger one HIS HAIR GREW SO MUCH HE LOOKS SO MATURE AND CUTE OMFGIJ0HUG9SAOGIJPKOAGJSIOHUAGIJP hahhaha the one good thing i will say about THEM.idk how old the actor is i figure he was young idk it makes me happy to see him he’s very cute. I hope he’s in something i can watch and not gag at. Is he hot? Who knows but he is a cutie!!

Anyway muren and lc have a good thing going it’s nice to watch ho\pe they dont fuck it up but im truly a sucker for some true finds 2 luvas i think some user on her\e was like i’m not a fan of friends ot lovers bc it doesn’t seem like they’re actually friends and maybe they were referring to this show idk. But it made me think and it was a very good observation. So i think they are friends and also luvrs <3

[maria-scribbles]

glitter + crimson (let’s start a riot)//part one

“and that’s sailor, our resident mermaid, shell collector, surfer chick, and all-around ray of sunshine. she’s always down for a kegger at the boneyard so she can show off her dance moves; they’re not the best but she doesn’t let that stop her from getting down. her mom owns the surf shop on the beach, that’s how jj and i met her when we bought our first boards when we were ten. she’s been part of the crew ever since.” ~john b routledge

pogue sailor flynn just wants to have a great time with her friends this summer and try to ignore the fact that her flight-risk dad took off again to gamble his life (and her family's savings) away in atlantic city, leaving her with a mom who doesn't know how to cope. between surfing at the beach and cruising around on the hms pogue for hours, it's easy to keep her mind off her shitty home life. what isn't so easy though, is trying to deny her feelings for her best friend, jj.

summary: the pogues hit the beach for a day of sand, surf, and shells. sailor commandeers a hat, willingly participates in cardio, makes bank, and has a heart-to-heart with jj.

word count: 4k+ 

ship: jj maybank x oc (sailor flynn) 

warnings: mentions of abuse/neglect/parental abandonment, swearing, fluff, a lot of flirting 

a/n: hi there! i’ve had this little plot bunny in my head for a few weeks now and it wouldn’t leave me alone so here we are! this is the first piece of writing i’ve posted in a very long time so i apologize in advance if it’s terrible. i’m planning on this whole thing being at least eight to ten parts so get ready for the long haul! i actually split this into two parts cause my word count was insane and way too long for one post lmao. let me know what you guys think! title comes from “glitter & crimson” by all time low. also this is unbetaed, so i apologize for any mistakes.

another quick thing: i tried writing this with sailor as an unnamed or y/n reader but it just wasn’t the best. i adore fleshing out characters and i had so many good ideas for her backstory and personality that she kind of just wrote herself and i went with it. i hope you all enjoy reading about sailor as much as i enjoyed writing her!

~Masterlist~

part two | part three | part four | playlist

gif credit goes to @heapass​

part one: catching waves

The beach has always been special to Sailor; the soothing crash of waves against the shore, the warmth of sand under her feet, the comforting feeling of salt drying on her skin. It’s where her mother taught her to surf, where her father taught her to dive, where her friends taught her that family didn’t always mean having shared blood. It’s her home, her place, her safe haven. Nothing is more perfect than a day at the beach with the pogues, her board, and a bucket for shells. 

Today is shaping up to be one of those days. The weather’s balmy, the water’s clear, and most importantly, she hasn’t seen these many perfect shells in quite awhile. Sailor reaches out and grabs the delicate golden scotch bonnet from the ocean floor, inspecting it closely for any cracks or holes. When she finds none, she smiles and runs her fingers over its smooth surface, marveling at the way the sun’s rays filter through the water and make the entire shell shine brilliantly. Although she sells most of the shells she finds at her mom’s surf shop (or gifts them to her friends), this one’s going to be proudly displayed on the shelf in her room. 

She scans the sand for her next target before pushing off from the floor and heading to the surface where Kiara floats on her board, legs dangling in the water as she watches the rest of their group surf. 

“Kie, check this out! It’s a scotch bonnet!” She exclaims, placing the shell beside the half full bucket in front of her friend. Resting both arms on the board, she lets herself take a quick breather as the other girl gently picks up her treasure and turns it over in her hands. 

“Holy shit, how do you always find the good ones?” She asks, gently putting it into the bucket with the others as Sailor shrugs, tucking a wet strand of red hair behind her ear. 

“You guys always say I’m part mermaid, so...” Kiara rolls her eyes and splashes her friend, who just laughs. “Are you done now? We can’t let the guys have all the fun.” 

“Almost, there’s a gorgeous whelk down there that I have to have. Be right back!”

She dives before the dark haired girl can reply, swimming down twenty feet to where she spotted the shell. When she was younger, she used to find the pressure on her ears a bit painful but now she hardly notices, instead focusing on the muffled sound of the waves above. Down here it’s just her and the water: peaceful, quiet, and oh so beautiful, infinitely stretching out in front of her. It used to scare her, the vastness of the deep ocean, the secrets lurking in its depths, the unknown. Now, it brings her comfort. Inspiration. Hope.

She plucks the shell from the sand and heads back the the surface, where three more boards have joined Kiara’s. She swims straight under Pope’s, knowing he’s the most ticklish of the group, and runs the tip of the whelk along the sole of his foot. His yell is so loud she can hear it clear as day under the water and she laughs bubbles as his board wobbles before he topples over with a splash. The other three are still laughing as she surfaces beside her fallen friend and feigns shock.

“What happened? Did he touch a fish again?”

“Oh ha fucking ha. So funny.” Pope deadpans but he’s smiling as Sailor holds his board steady so he can climb back on. “I’m surprised you actually touched my foot, Miss Feet Are Disgusting.”

“First off, smelly, dirty feet are gross. And second, I didn’t,” She replies, pulling herself onto JJ’s board without warning and laughing as he nearly falls off just as Pope had. She sticks her tongue out at him as he shoots her a mock glare and shifts closer to he for balance, their knees knocking together.

“This did, here.” She holds the shell out to Pope, who inspects it like Kiara had done earlier and nods in approval before passing it off to John B.

“It’s...nice, right? It’s a good one?” He asks as he hands it over to Kiara. She meets Sailor’s eyes and shakes her head, mouthing ‘boys’ while carefully placing the whelk in the bucket.

“Seriously, JB-”

“Whoa, wait! I don’t get to see it?” JJ pouts, crossing his arms over his chest and Sailor fixes him with a flat look.

“I seem to remember that you, like a damn child, dropped and broke the last one I let you hold.”

John B laughs so hard he nearly falls off his board while Pope and Kiara glance at each other and hide matching snickers behind their hands. JJ has the decency to look embarrassed as he pleads with her and she tells herself that the slight flush creeping up the back of his neck is just from too much time in the sun, nothing more.

“Hey, I said I was sorry for that and I meant it! I swear I’ll be more careful, please, Sail?”

Trying her best to ignore the little thrill she feels at the sound of her nickname coming from his mouth, she relents with a sigh, “Fine, on one condition.”

He looks at her expectantly as she holds up one finger and points at the black hat turned backwards on his head.

“Gimme that, I can feel my scalp burning as we speak.”

“Holy shit, you’re such a fucking ginger,” He laughs but pulls the cap off anyway, running a hand through his blond hair before fixing it on her head properly, the bill facing forward and giving her eyes a much needed break from the bright summer sun. She only hopes her face feels hot as he lays one hand on her knee and holds the other out to Kiara, palm up. “Fork it over, Kie.”

Kiara hands it to him with a roll of her eyes and then fixes Sailor with a pointed look that the redhead pretends not to see; instead, she watches JJ carefully turn the shell over in his hand before holding it aloft, like Rafiki held Simba in The Lion King.

“Listen up, class- especially you,” He says, the hand resting against her leg pointing at John B, who looks affronted at being called out, much to the amusement of the rest of the group, “This here is a lightning whelk and yes, JB, as a matter of fact, it’s a great one. No holes, minimal damage, and defined markings. Ten out of ten would recommend.”

He passes the shell to Kiara with a satisfied grin as everyone sits in stunned silence, just bobbing up and down with the waves until Pope finally says, “Damn. Better watch out, Sailor! We’ve got a new shell expert in town.”

“Yeah, I don’t think so. I’m not giving up the crown that easily.” As the others burst into laughter, she turns to JJ and pokes him in the side, asking, “Since when you know so much?”

The look he gives her is all mock offense, but his blue eyes are soft as he says, “I always listen when you talk, you know.”

His answer catches her so off-guard that she tries and fails to form a coherent reply as her face flushes before settling on giving him a sweet smile, which he returns with a playful tug on one of the tiny braids in her hair. Out of the corner of her eye, she can see Kiara staring at them with a devious smirk on her face and she knows she’ll be hearing about this later.

“Enough shell talk- no offense, Sail,” John B says, steering his board toward the waves. “We’ve got surfing to do.”

Sailor waves her hand dismissively then reaches over and grabs the bucket from Kiara. “None taken, I’m just gonna drop these off at the shop real quick and I’ll be right back.”

“I’ll go with,” JJ says, popping up onto his knees and turning his board toward the shore. “After all,” He yells toward the rest of the pogues over his shoulder, “you guys need all the practice you can get!” He winks at Sailor and she laughs as she turns to face forward, pulling her legs onto the board and placing the bucket in her lap while the other three flip him off in perfect unison.

The two teenagers paddle toward the beach together and catch a small wave that shoots them straight to shore. JJ holds the board steady as she hops off and then touches his shoulder in thanks before they walk toward where Sailor’s own board is propped in the warm sand with their things. She puts the bucket down and kneels beside it, carefully digging through the haul to find the scotch bonnet.

“There you are, gorgeous.”

“I didn’t go anywhere, babe.”

She snorts at JJ’s quip but doesn’t give him the satisfaction of looking up from wrapping the shell in a small towel and placing it in her backpack (she does blush though, and hopes he doesn’t notice.). As she stands to pull on her shorts, the redhead can’t help but glance at the lightning whelk, sitting pretty in the sand where she put it while looking for the bonnet. It really is beautiful, a ten out of ten as JJ put it, and damn it, she just can’t let it go to some touron who won’t appreciate it. So before she can change her mind, she kneels again to wrap it in another towel and gently nestles it alongside the other shell.

“Chop chop, time’s a wastin.’“ He says, grabbing the bucket with one hand and holding the other out to her; she rolls her eyes but takes it anyway and lets him pull her to her feet, muttering, “Jesus, you’re impatient.”

“It’s all part of the charm. Come on, race ya!” After a quick squeeze to her hand, he drops it and takes off running toward the shop without warning, leaving Sailor scrambling to catch up as she yells, “If you break those shells you’re buying them, Maybank!”

The duo weaves through the crowd of tourons and natives alike, ignoring the dirty looks thrown their way as they run by, kicking sand up in their wake. Fifty feet ahead stands The Sandbar Surf Shop in all its salt-weathered, sun-bleached glory, all but two of the rental boards gone from the stand out front. Alison sits on a stool with one of them on her lap as she waxes it, the boom box resting on the floor beside her blasting The Beach Boys as usual. She looks up in surprise as Sailor bounds onto the deck and slaps her hand against the shop’s door a few seconds before JJ does, both teenagers out of breath.

“Sweet victory!” The redhead shouts, sending a quick wave toward Alison, who returns it with an amused smile and watches the blond roll his eyes, holding the shell bucket close to his chest like a football.

“Victory my ass! I saw you jump over that cooler and that’s cheating.”

“Oh, I cheated? Who gave himself a head start? Oh yeah, you!”

Alison returns the now waxed board to the rack and wipes her hands on a spare rag. “Sounds like you both cheated, so no one wins.” She says with a shrug, chuckling to herself as they both stutter excuses and follow the older redheaded girl into the shop, empty sans for a young boy browsing the display of shells.

“I’ll get your mom.” She says to Sailor before heading through the beaded curtain to the back room and she’s grateful. She doesn’t think she has the strength to go back there anymore.

“I was carrying extra weight,” JJ says, placing the bucket onto the old surfboard-turned-counter and then leaning his back against it, “so I think the head start was justified.”

Sailor props her chin in her hand and drums her fingers along the board’s worn surface, her eyebrow raised. “And I think my jump was justified considering I had some ground to make up from that head start so...”

“Agree to disagree.” They say together, sharing a quick smile before he picks a pair of heart shaped glasses from the stand and puts them on, looking at her over the neon pink frames as he asks in a high-pitched British accent, “What do you think, darling? Too much?”

“No, I think they’re quite dashing!” She bursts out laughing as he strikes a vogue pose, then spins and dramatically leans back against the counter. “Rock that pink.”

“Hell yeah, fuck gender norms!” He says loudly, both middle fingers raised toward the roof.

“In this house, we stan non-toxic masculinity-” she starts, but she’s interrupted by a stern voice from behind the counter that says, “If you’re not going to buy those, put ‘em back, kid.”

Sailor’s mother sweeps into view and stares pointedly at JJ, who hastily stands up straight and returns the glasses to their place on the display as Alison silently heads back outside, shooting both teens a small, awkward smile.

“Sorry, Mrs. Flynn.”

Sailor wants to tell him there’s nothing to apologize for, that he did nothing wrong, but she knows he already knows that, so instead she just scoots a little closer and presses her hip against his. His hand moves to rest on her lower back in thanks and her whole body feels the sparks from his touch.

“I-I found some good ones today, Mom.” She says, pulling shells from the bucket one by one and lining them up on the counter. “A few coquinas, some scallops, a whelk or two...”

She trails off when Carmen doesn’t respond and looks down at her hands, twisting her fingers together anxiously as her mother inspects each shell. her face blank. JJ’s thumb starts to run tiny circles on her back and she concentrates on the feel of his ring, warm and soothing against her bare skin, instead of the fact that her mother hasn’t even glanced her way yet. She hasn’t looked her in the eye in almost three months.

The silence is thick in the air until Carmen finishes her evaluation and gives a small nod in her daughter’s direction. “Good job.” She says, heading to the register and pulling out some cash before counting out five twenties and holding them out to Sailor, her eyes fixed on a point somewhere over the teenager’s shoulder. She swallows thickly and takes the money with a near inaudible thank you, slipping it into her back pocket before grabbing the now empty bucket and nudging JJ toward the door with her hip.

As she’s about to cross the threshold she pauses with one hand on the door frame and turns back, asking, “Hey, Mom? Are...are you gonna come home tonight?”

Carmen’s brown eyes only meet her green ones for a split second before she looks away to fiddle with the register and Sailor can’t help feeling the dull stab of disappointment as she says, “Oh, um, I don’t think so. I’m pretty busy here with, uh, inventory, bookkeeping...”

(That stab used to be sharp as a knife, cutting her to the bone, but she’s almost gotten used to the pain.)

“Oh, right. Just...text me if you do, okay?” She takes one last look at her mother, bathed in the cool shadows of the shop that’s tearing her apart before turning and stepping back into the bright sunlight without another word, her throat tight. She’s not sure Carmen was even listening anymore.

“See ya later, brat.” Alison calls to her as she lets the screen door swing shut behind her with a slight bang. The older girl may not be related to her by blood but she’s most definitely Sailor’s honorary big sister, having babysat her for years in addition to working at the shop, so she waves to her with a small smile and a “bye, ho” before joining JJ on the beach.

The duo slowly starts walking along the water together, a stark contrast from their earlier mad dash and Sailor’s mind races with a million thoughts, most of them her hating herself for foolishly putting a scrap of faith in her mom once again.

“Whoa, you okay? That bucket’s not going anywhere, promise.” He says, pulling them to a stop with a gentle tug on her elbow and reaching down to take it from her clenched hand. She doesn’t even realize she was holding it that hard until she sees the little half moons pressed into her palm from her nails and she sighs, rubbing them away with her thumb.

Opening up has always been something Sailor struggles with, even with a friend group as close as the pogues. She’s the one who’s all sunshine and good vibes, the one everyone goes to for cheering up, the one that’s always...happy. She’s the friend who listens, the open ear, the trusted confidante. She knows all her friends struggles: John B’s fear of being abandoned that often keeps him up at night, Kiara’s terrible guilt over leaving her friends behind during her kook year, Pope’s feeling of drowning under his dad’s impossible expectations, JJ’s abusive household that has him convinced he’s not worthy of love. Every secret she holds close to her heart, guarding them with impenetrable walls that no one can break through.

The walls protecting her own secrets, though? They may be strong around the others but they crumble like sand when she’s alone with the boy standing beside her, his hand still holding her elbow as he starts drawing circles on her skin once again. Talking to JJ has always come easy to her, almost infuriatingly so, and she has no qualms about calling him her best friend. While the other pogues know she’s been having some problems at home with her flight-risk dad and indifferent mom, none of them know almost the full story like he does, just as none of them know exactly how horrible his father really is.

(She knows. She’s seen the aftermath far too often and has been there each time, cleaning cuts, soothing bruises, holding him in her arms and never wanting to let him go.)

“I just...don’t know what to do anymore.” She can feel him watching her as she talks and she avoids his gaze like her mother avoided hers, instead staring out at the ocean. In the distance, she sees one of their friends -Kiara, she thinks- drop in on a wave while the other two look on a little further away. “She won’t even look at me and I don’t know what I did wrong.”

“Hey, it’s not you, got it? God, you’re...perfect, Sail.” JJ says softly, so soft that the crashing surf nearly drowns the sound of his voice as the water washes over their bare feet. Sailor curses the fact that she blushes so easily because her whole face is on fire at his words, and she’s so distracted that she almost misses what he says next.

“Your mom’s always, uh, weird when your dad dips. It’ll be better when he comes back.”

Her heart clenches in her chest. If only it were that simple. She turns to face him and meets his eyes, blue as the ocean, open and honest, and sends him a smile that lacks its usual brightness. “I think you might be right, J. For once.”

His thumb stills on the crook of her elbow and she knows he knows she’s not telling him everything. She feels like she should say something, anything- apologize, explain herself, just tell him the damn truth- but before she can even open her mouth he says, “Listen, I get it.”

She can feel the hand on her arm start to slip away and she grabs it between both of hers, her voice tight as she says, “No, you listen. Today’s been...so perfect and I don’t wanna bring everyone down with my problems.”

“You know they won’t mind.”

(She does, but that’s beside the point.)

“I know they won’t, but I do.”

It’s her turn to run her thumb in circles on the back of his hand now as she continues, “I’ll tell you everything later, okay?”

“You don’t have to-” He starts but she smiles, genuine and bright this time, and cuts him off.

“I want to, J. And I will, promise.” Like a child, she holds her pinky out expectantly. He quickly glances down at her hand and then meets her eyes again before finally returning her smile, showing off that dimple that makes her heart skip a beat, and hooking his finger around hers.

“Come on, we’ve got waves to catch and friends to show up.” He says and just like that they’re back to normal. Sailor’s hyper aware of the fact that her pinky is still linked with JJ’s, but he doesn’t pull away as they start walking back to their things again and she can’t help but hold on a little tighter. She doesn’t think he notices until he walks a little closer, his shoulder brushing hers; out of the corner of her eye, she sees him smile and feels herself mirroring him without a thought, her cheeks turning as red as her hair.

Talking with him may be the easiest thing to do for her, but flirting comes in a close second. It’s natural: the teasing, the casual touches, and especially the clothes stealing (a good fifth of her sweatshirts probably actually belong to him). He’s the biggest flirt she knows, with that bad boy swagger and killer smile that make all the giggling touron girls fall over themselves to get to him. She tells herself it’s fine, that she’s so not jealous, when he dances with them at keggers on the beach, whispering things in their ears that make them blush, taking their hands and leading them away to dark corners or the spare room at the Chateau. After all, there’s the one golden rule of their group: no pogue on pogue macking, so friends is all they’ll ever be, all they can be.

She tells herself she’s fine with it, really. Being his friend is better than being nothing at all, and she wouldn’t trade his friendship for the world. Deep down though, she’d give anything to kiss him again -the first time was when she was eleven and JJ had just turned twelve, awkward yet sweet, the day she first saw the full extent of his dad’s abuse- but she holds herself back, unwilling to ruin the relationship that means so much to her. And sometimes, like now, she thinks (hopes) that he’s holding back, too.

Their pinkies linger together when they come to a stop at their things, both holding on just a bit longer than what’s considered friendly before their hands drop away. Sailor feels his eyes on her as she pulls off her shorts, money still in the back pocket, and stuffs them in her bag.

(So she just might’ve taken them off a little bit -okay, a lot- slower because he was watching, sue her.)

“I hope you know this is mine, now.” She points to his hat before freeing her board from the sand and waiting for him to do the same, hand on her hip.

“It looks better on you, anyway. Here,” He says, taking a step closer and reaching up with one hand to turn the cap backwards. “Don’t want you to lose it.” His finger brushes along her jaw when he drops his arm and she feels her breath catch as she replies, “Wouldn’t dream of it.”

JJ smiles at that, then nods toward the waves. “Race ya? I’ll play fair this time.”

“Nah, but I’m glad you can admit that you cheated!” She says, pausing for a second to laugh at the way his jaw drops before she takes off running and leaves him hurrying to catch up. “I’m proud of you!”

“I changed my mind, I want my hat back now, Flynn!” He yells after her and she just laughs harder as they splash into the ocean.

-

tagging some of my fave writers ❤: @pogue-writings​ @o-b-x​ @jjbabyouterbanks​ @heywards​ @obxsummer​ @jjmaybanky​

let me know what you think!

[kinktae]

bitchin’ || pt. 2 (M)

↳ PART OF MY REWIND SERIES

The 80s were a time of choices. Which perm was right for you? What color neon would you wear next? None of these choices, however, were more questionable than a certain deal you made with Jeon Jungkook.

pairing: fratboy!jungkook x reader

word count: 4.4k

genre: 1980s au, eventual smut, e2l

warnings: multiple smut scenes, science talk, banter, jealousy, alcohol & LOTS of colorful 80s slang lmao

A/N: Bitchin’ is a multichapter fic, surprise!! This fic was inspired by To All The Boys I’ve Loved Before. Thank you to @junqkook for letting me use her likeness and helping me with Yara’s character overall. Hope you appreciate the easter egg based on her!

OFFICIAL PLAYLIST

01 | 02 | 03 | 04 | 05 | 06 | 07 | 08 | 09 | 10

┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈

PART TWO

"Yara!"

The eyes belonging to the girl in question, flashed your way, widening in alarm.

"Oh, yikes." Was her automatic response, her bag of cool ranch Doritos falling onto her lap.

You were angry, that much was evident to her. Yara was sat in your shared dorm's living room, a thick blanket engulfing her small frame. You briefly glanced towards the TV, it was tuned into MTV, the familiar music video of Every Breath You Take by The Police playing, before directing your glare back onto the copper-haired girl.

"Before you say anything," Yara began, swallowing down whatever remaining food was in her mouth, "you should know they were having a rerun of the VMAs – which I missed last night – at the same time as the lab."

"You left me alone! You said you would go to the lab yesterday!" You griped, crossing your arms over your chest.

"Yes, yes that is true but I would also like to point out the fact that Madonna performed, so it wasn't like I even had a choice when you really think about it." She countered, tone pitching comically.

"You absolutely had a choice!" You laughed, shaking your head.

"Mm... I could argue that it is a subjective opinion."

You walked over to your best friend, sighing as you slumped down beside her, placing your backpack onto the floor.

You offered Yara a sideways glance.

"Did Duran Duran at least win something?" You asked begrudgingly.

"Nothing. They were robbed!" She squinted, shaking a fist in the air angrily.

A small chuckle escaped you despite yourself.

"You really should have gone to the lab, you know." You reasoned, reaching into the bag of chips.

"And smell like frog insides for the rest of the day? Grody to the max." She responded, before flashing you a look. "No offense."

"None taken." You grumbled, her observation fully noted though.

"Besides the makeup lab is next week. What could I have possibly missed this class?" Yara dismissed you absentmindedly, turning back towards the television as she reached for another chip.

"Well." You chuckled nervously. "For one, I have a boyfriend now."

At your words, Yara froze, a chip still in her hand as she paused mid-bite.

"You what?!" She all but shrieked, causing you to jump.

"Who? How? When? Tell me everything!" Her hands found your shoulders, shaking you slightly. You shoved her off with a laugh.

"Uh, well, his name is Jungkook–"

"The Jeon Jungkook?! From our lab?" Yara interrupted, eyes wide and shining with interest.

"Um... yes?" You responded cautiously.

Yara let out a scoff, leaning back further into the couch.

"Unbelievable. I leave you alone for one day and you get a boyfriend! And a fine one at that. This is so bogus."

"Mine and Jungkook's whole relationship is bogus, Yara." You rolled your eyes.

At your words, your best friend raised an eyebrow and you took that as an invitation to continue speaking.

"I'm only pretending to date him to make his ex-girlfriend jealous."

A sharp laugh from Yara caused you to pause, watching the way her amusement was short-lived, her smile fell as she took in your serious expression.

"Oh, you're serious." She deadpanned.

You nodded, "When you didn't show up Jungkook ended up being my partner and... well, I'm still not sure how it happened but he basically offered to fund my STEM event in exchange for helping him making his girlfriend jealous."

"They are the weirdest couple." You breathed out, shoving another chip in your mouth.

"Wait... he's gonna fund your event?! Y/N, you've been planning that thing since we got to university!"

A smile found your face, your excitement once again seeing you.

"I know! I wouldn't usually get involved in someone's love life like this but was too good of an opportunity to turn down."

"Man, I'm so happy for you! Still kind of disappointed but happy nonetheless." Yara smiled, causing you to frown.

"Disappointed? Why are you disappointed?" You pressed.

Yara clicked her tongue at you, looking at you as if the reason should be obvious.

"What do you mean why am I disappointed? Here I was ecstatic to hear that my best friend has gotten a boyfriend only to find that it's got a contract behind it!"

You giggled, nudging your knee into hers. "Think of this as a smart business venture I'm embarking on."

Yara stared at you for a moment, something clearly weighing on her mind as her lips fell into a subtle pout.

"What?" You mused.

She fluttered her eyelashes, "Does this mean you aren't going to fuck him?"

Your eyes widened in disbelief.

"Yara!" You gaped.

"Because, if you want to get technical, you kind of have to so I can live vicariously through you. It's girl code." She continued, reaching over and popping another chip into her mouth.

You frowned. "That is gross and also not a thing."

"I'm serious, I'm not accepting anything less than, like, third base." Yara pressed with a wag of a finger.

"Why don't you worry about your own sexual escapades instead of worrying about mine." You paused before continuing. "Which won't be happening, for your information."

The snacking girl let out a deep groan, throwing her blanket off of her as she stood up, taking the bag of chips with her much to your dismay.

"Well, it's not my fault I'm not getting any, okay! So do us both a favor and freak his shit." She called out, walking over to the kitchen.

"Can you stop emphasizing your lack of dick for one second?" You chuckled. "If you're that desperate for dick go back to Eunwoo."

Eunwoo was a boy Yara messed around with last semester. The relationship was short-lived, Yara quick to cut things off as soon as she realized Eunwoo was looking for something more than just a brief fling. Because ironically, despite how Yara crowed about being lonely, there was nothing that sent that girl running faster than actual feelings.

"Sweetie, I'm desperate for good dick." Yara scoffed, having had emerged back into the room, her auburn hair now let down, her trusty scrunchy back around her wrist.

"Was Eunwoo really that bad in bed?" You wondered, eyeing your best friend curiously as she moved to turn off the TV that had gone neglected the moment you stepped into the room.

Yara shrugged. "No, he was fine."

"So...?"

An enthusiastic pound against the poor television box rang out, the soft side of Yara's fist having had slammed down dramatically.

"I don't want just fine, Y/N! I want dick so totally tubular that I feel it in my guts." She declared.

A sputtering cough fell from your lips as you choked on your inhale of air.

Yara looked at you with mild concern, suppressing her laughter as she walked over and began to pat your back.

"I seriously question how you wiggled your way into being my best friend." You breathed through your coughs,.

"Eat my shorts, Y/N. You love me and you know it." She dismissed easily.

You merely grinned, unable to dispute your best friend's claim.

"Now go shower." Yara ordered, using one hand to point in the direction of the bathroom, and the other to pinch her nose shut dramatically.

Sighing, you heaved yourself off the couch. You doubted you smelled as bad as Yara made you out to, but you couldn't deny that a shower sounded terrific right now.

"Yes, sir." You sent her a salute cheekily before turning to head to the bathroom, shaking your head as she called out after you.

"And when you come out I need to know every single word you and Jungkook exchanged. If you're dating him then so am I, bitch!"

┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈

The weekend had breezed by quickly, homework and the newest Cyndi Lauper album occupying all your free time. You hardly had time to contemplate your new role as Jeon Jungkook's new girlfriend.

You and Yara had been in the midst of a conversation about what exactly she should get her little sister for her 13th birthday when you first spoke to Jungkook again.

"Cabbage patch kid?" Yara offered, causing your nose to scrunch up.

"How old do you think your sister is?"

"Hey, don't sass me. For your information, Lyanna still has all her Care Bear tapes. She threw a hissy fit when my mom tried to give them away last Christmas." Yara recalled.

"Still, she's becoming a teenager. I vote no on the cabbage patch kid."

"I'm with you, babe." Jungkook spoke up suddenly, lips pressed together as if in contemplative thought.

You hadn't even noticed him enter the classroom, much less approach and listen in onto your conversation.

"Jungkook!" You breathed out in surprise, stomach fluttering slightly as you realized what he had just called you.

"Why don't you get her a pair of roller skates?" He ignored you, placing a hand on the table and leaning onto it. You tried your hardest to ignore the way the muscles in his arm flexed with the movement.

You cleared your throat, "Roller skates?"

"Yeah. Every kid has to get a pair of roller skates. It's like a rite of passage."

"I never got roller skates…" You muttered.

"And you were robbed of a childhood." Jungkook informed you solemnly, causing you to roll your eyes.

"Sup." He said suddenly, eyes flickering to Yara as he offered her a casual nod.

You watched in amusement as a pink hue made its way onto your best friend's face, nodding back at him.

Seeing as Yara had remained silent this entire time, you realized it was probably best you introduce the two.

"Uh, Jungkook this is Yara, my best friend. Yara this is Jungkook, my... "

Business partner?

Temporary acquaintance?

"Her boyfriend." Jungkook finished for you cheekily, sending you a wink.

"Fake boyfriend." You reminded, causing Jungkook's eyes to widen.

"I don't know what you're talking about." He stated bluntly, eyes gesturing to Yara forcibly.

Oh. He thought you wouldn't tell your best friend about him? Hah.

"She already knows we're not actually dating–"

An angry shush came from the messy-haired boy, preventing you from talking further.

He hunched closer, eyes flickering across the classroom, "Keep it down, would ya? There are eyes everywhere."

"Sorry, jeez." You apologized dryly, raising a brow as you mimicked his motions.

"Bold of you to assume I won't be guiding Y/N throughout this entire arrangement." Yara spoke finally, her nose turned up slightly.

"Is that so?" Jungkook looked at her in surprise.

"Yep. In fact, I've self-appointed myself manager of your entire relationship." She replied smoothly.

Jungkook grinned, clearly finding humor in her words, "Well, then. With that kind of assertiveness, I'm sure we're in good hands. Nice to meet you, Yara."

"Likewise."

You frowned as your best friend and Jungkook shook hands.

"Anyway, as your manager, my first bit of advice for really selling this whole fake relationship thing is for the two of you to sit together. So if you'll just excuse me..."

At the sight of Yara reaching for her notebook and pen, alarm ran through you.

"Wha– Excuse me, what are you doing?" You protested immediately.

Jungkook, on the other hand, simply grinned. "Great advice!"

"Why thank you, I accept payment in cash and Annie Lennox cassette tapes."

"Yara, where are you even going?" You whined, watching as your best friend chucked her things into her bag.

"To sit at another table. Who am I to keep people in love apart? Jungkook you can take my seat."

Your shoulders slumped miserably as you watched as the smirking boy replaced Yara's spot on the stool beside you.

"Have fun, kids." She teased, waving the two of you off with a hand as she walked over to another table.

"I like her." Jungkook smiled cheesily.

"She's not kidding, you know." You warned. "If she says she's our manager then you better believe it. Whether you like it or not, she's gonna accomplish what she's set out to do."

"Reminds me of you." He replied with a hum.

You blinked in surprise.

"Was that... a compliment?"

"Was it?" His eyes went wide, voice pitched in feigned surprise.

A small laugh escaped you and before you could retort with your own sarcastic comment, your professor began to speak.

"Good afternoon, everyone. I hope you all had a good weekend." Mr. Kim greeted, his usual coffee mug in hand. He looked somewhat worse for wear, you noted. "I did. And as I sat here and reflected the choices I made Sunday night, I came to the conclusion that I will be sparing you the boring lecture this class and putting on a movie.

Widespread chatter of relief fell over the class, everyone elated to hear that this specific class would require minimal effort.

Mr. Kim had just sunk into the chair by his desk when a hand of a student shot up.

"Yes?" He answered.

The owner of the hand spoke up, "Should we take notes?"

Mr. Kim stared at the student with subtle bewilderment.

"I mean if you want? Guys, I'm gonna be honest with you all, I'm hungover as all hell. As long as you watch quietly and keep the lights off, I don't care what you do."

And with that, all the students turned back to chat amongst themselves.

It was funny, Jungkook thought, how easy you were to read when you thought no one was looking. He had been watching you through the corner of his eye, watching the way you hung onto the professor's every word and how disappointment washed over you when you realized there was no learning to be done today.

"Cute." He muttered to himself.

"What was that?" You replied absentmindedly, reaching for a sheet of paper.

Jungkook straightened in his seat, unaware he had said that out loud.

"Nothing."

You paid his reply no mind, however, pencil in hand as you began to write something onto a sheet of loose-leaf paper. Jungkook's head tilted in mild curiosity as he watched, wondering what it was you were doing.

To his surprise, the very paper of interest was then thrust his way, a soft sound ringing out as it rubbed against the cold surface of the lab table.

"What am I looking at?" Jungkook deadpanned. You shifted in your seat before responding.

"I think it's about time we talked seriously about this... relationship of ours. We need to establish rules."

Jungkook glanced back down at the paper.

"I see."

Suddenly, Jungkook's hand reached out for the zipper of his bag. You watched in silence as he pulled out the first writing utensil he could find – a blue marker – and jotted something down quickly.

You frowned, scooting your stool cautiously closer to him to get a proper look at the paper he had just written on.

"What is this?" You frowned.

"I believe it referred to legally as an amendment." He informed, eyes twinkling mischievously.

"Jungkook, I'm not going to kiss you."

Despite your seriousness, a smile nearly escape your lips at the sight of Jungkook's mouth falling into a pout.

"Why not?" He asked.

You raised a brow, "Um, we're not actually dating? Did you forget that?"

Jungkook let out a small noise of what you could only assume was indignation.

"Not to sound like a total douchebag but the fact that you don't want to kiss me is, like, totally insulting."

"I agreed to be your girlfriend, not some disposable pair of lips you're allowed to use whenever you need your ego stroked. Do I need to remind you that I hardly even know you?" You hissed lowly in case someone was listening in on your conversation.

For a moment it was just you and Jungkook glaring at each other. Neither of you was going to budge, he realized. He let out a sigh.

"Look, I see your point and what this is looking like but I promise you I'm not being creepy here. No one is gonna believe we're together if we don't kiss each other. To anyone that looks, you could just be my friend if we don't show some kind of affection towards each other."

Your arms crossed over your chest, your hard expression not letting up.

"One kiss. That's all I'm asking for. Just a peck, if that's all your comfortable with." He continued, causing you to hum.

He was certainly going to a lot of trouble just for one peck.

Maybe he did have a point. One kiss wouldn't kill you, would it?

"When?" Was your response, taking him by surprise.

"Uh... whenever? Preferably somewhere people will see. Maybe at the Halloween party this weekend?"

You frowned, a thought crossing your mind.

"You want me to kiss you at a party? In front of a bunch of people?"

"Well... not if you really don't want to..." Jungkook replied, suddenly feeling bad that you might really not be all that comfortable with this whole thing.

You shook your head, "No, it's not that."

Kissing Jungkook wasn't as daunting as the idea of doing it in front of a lot of people. It wasn't that you were socially awkward, per se, but the possibility of stage fright was undoubtedly a real one.

You let your thoughts run for a while before you finally came upon a slightly annoying solution. An audible sigh left you as you grabbed your pencil and reached for the paper.

"I don't want to embarrass myself." You told Jungkook bluntly as he read the contract's newest addition, your eyes fixated on the sheet as you couldn't find the courage to meet his eyes.

"So I want our first kiss to be somewhere private where I can make sure I know what I'm doing. Familiarize with... how you kiss... and stuff..." You trailed off, the warmth in your face suddenly too distracting to let you think intelligent thoughts.

Jungkook's eyes were as wide as saucers, glued to the side of your face as if trying to decipher whether or not you were being serious. He assumed you must be as the tone in your voice wasn't mocking in the slightest.

"Oh. Yeah, sure." He nodded quickly, still noticing the way you couldn't look him in the face.

A shit-eating grin found his face, "Y/N, are you embarrassed right now?"

"No." You stressed quickly, looking over at him defensively. Your eyes fell onto his lips against your better judgment and once again you turned away from his stare, heat rocketing through you. "I just don't want you thinking anything weird like this is me wanting to kiss you."

The dark-haired boy pressed his lips together.

"Trust me, you've made your opposition against kissing me abundantly clear." He told you pointedly before reaching for the contract. You watched him gratefully, thankful for the shift in interest.

"I'm serious about there being eyes everywhere. If Kiri finds out the truth, it's game over. I'd look like a total wastoid. Not to mention I'll never hear the end of it from my brothers." Jungkook told you, pushing the paper over for you to read. Tapping the end of your pencil against the table, you pondered something before scribbling else onto the rules.

"Fair." Jungkook expressed. "As long as you can guarantee she won't tell anyone."

"Yara is lonelier than Henry David Thoreau, you have nothing to worry about." You shrugged easily.

"I... have no idea who that is."

"He's a transcendentalist writer who spent two years in isolation–"

"Oh, so you're not just a science freak. You're a well-rounded nerd." Jungkook teased, causing you to scowl.

You grabbed your pencil. You could feel Jungkook lean to peer over your shoulder, laughing lightly as he took in what you wrote. No sooner had you finished, the paper was yanked from underneath your palm, your pretend lover quick to scribble back a response.

And that was how the two of you spent the next twenty minutes, discussing rules and filling the rest of the page, muffled exchanges of giggles catching the attention of students near you as they began to wonder could possibly be on that sheet of paper that had the two of you blushing and whispering like that.

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"Can I put my hand in your pocket?"

The request came seemingly out of nowhere. The class had just finished and Yara had passed by your table briefly only to insist that Jungkook walked you to your dorm, promptly informing you that she and you would not be walking back together as usual, before she left the room altogether.

You sent Jungkook a pointed look as the two of you exited the classroom and walked out into the hallway.

"What like in Sixteen Candles?" You presumed, throwing your bag over your shoulder. "Nice try scumbag, I'm not letting you cop a feel of my ass."

"Why do you assume everything I say has some sort of hidden motive behind it?" Jungkook scoffed. "I was trying to be romantic."

"Oh, really?" You asked, sounding skeptical.

"I mean, sure, getting to touch your ass would've been a nice perk..."

A pleasant laugh escaped you and Jungkook felt something in his chest tightened, and before he could think to warn you, his hand found yours.

You glanced down at the gesture, a shy expression finding you suddenly as you look back up Jungkook, eyes wide and face warm as he offered you a small smile.

"It's no hand in your back pocket but... this should still get the message across to everyone." Jungkook's fingers laced between yours and you tried your hardest to appear nonchalant as if your heart wasn't in your throat right now.

You simply nodded, continuing to walk alongside him as the two of you began your journey towards your dorm building.

It wasn't entirely awful, you found.

Jungkook's hand felt nice in yours. It was warm and soft– your ex wasn't one for PDA so you had always wondered what it might be like to walk around with someone you liked like this.

Shame your first time had to be with your fake boyfriend.

You hadn't realized how social Jungkook was until just now, however. It hadn't been more than a seven-minute walk but more than a handful of people had called out to Jungkook, offering him a greeting and a wave as they went about their days.

You had brought up his apparent popularity to Jungkook but he merely laughed the statement off, saying that it just came with the territory of being in a fraternity.

"Yara's gonna be so proud when she finds out we thought to hold hands all on our own." You brought up on the elevator ride up to your dorm.

The romantic embrace had been severed the moment the metal doors had closed on you two, no longer having an audience to perform for.

"She's quite the character that Yara girl." He noted.

You shrugged, "She's not too bad once you get used to her."

Jungkook shook his head as if you had miss understood him.

"I didn't say it was a bad thing. You're a lot like her, you know."

"Am I?" You raised an eyebrow.

Jungkook nodded, crossing his arms over his chest.

"Headstrong... passionate... won't take no for an answer... seems like the only person you two would listen to is each other."

You were surprised. Once again, it was a seemingly genuine compliment that had come out of nowhere and you weren't entirely sure how to respond. You clasped your hands behind your back, a grin washing onto you.

"Pretty sure you've got bigger balls than I do." He finished his thought, causing you to snort.

"Sorry if we challenge your manhood." You joked, nudging your shoulder into his just as the elevator door open. You slipped out onto the floor, Jungkook following behind you.

"Oh don't worry about that, babe. You two can test my manhood whenever you want." He told you greasily, a suggestive smirk on his face.

"If I weren't contractually obligated to be nice to you, I would smack you."

You reached the door of your dorm a few moments later, turning to Jungkook awkwardly.

"Well, thanks for walking me." You said.

Jungkook tucked his hand into the pocket of his jacket, shrugging coolly.

"I'll see you in class on Wednesday then."

As if on cue, the door of your dorm unlocked, swinging open enthusiastically, revealing a smiling Yara.

"Wrong. You'll be seeing her tomorrow." She stated matter-of-factly.

"I will?"

"He will?"

You and Jungkook both expressed your confusion in unison. An amused expression fell over Yara.

"I did some thinking on the walk back from class and decided that Jungkook is taking you out on a date tomorrow." She explained before turning towards the man in question. "When do you finish class tomorrow?"

"Uh... three o'clock?" He answered slowly, eyes flickering to yours to see if you had any idea what your best friend was talking about. You didn't, of course.

Yara tucked a strand of hair behind her ear. "Perfect, Y/N's last class is at two. Come pick her up here around four."

"Oh, uh, sure." Jungkook nodded, looking somewhat scared of the small but authoritative girl standing before him.

As if snapping back into reality, you shook your head. "Hold on, I didn't agree to this. Don't I get a say in this?"

Yara's eyes flickered towards yours dully, "No."

She clapped her hands together suddenly, directing her attention back to your pretend lover.

"Thanks for walking her over. We'll see you tomorrow at four. Don't be late, bye!" Yara sang sweetly, hand reaching out to wrap around your forearm.

You let out a yelp as you were tugged into the dorm, door slamming shut as you left behind a perplexed looking Jungkook.

"What the hell was that?! Why am I going on a date with him?"

Jungkook could hear your voice through the closed door, pitched angrily and clearly directed at Yara.

"Third base, Y/N. Don't make me say it again."

"I literally can't stand you."

A small laugh fell from the boy as he stood in his place in the hallway, eyebrows furrowing in amused bewilderment as he wondered how he ended up with not just one but two stubborn fake girlfriends.

[donquixotehomura]

Endeavor x Reader All Is Fair In Love And War

This fic includes a hell of a bad writing shit show so sorry for the bad writing that you have to go through, I can't stand my own writing lmao, Endeavor is kinda OOC I think.. Idk, I get stupidly poetic at some points and I have weird wordings for some things, Hella long and boring, This is a fucking K-Drama

Bruh like I had about a month to write this but I procrastinated till the last day having only a starter with 2.5K words and wrote the rest in one day, a total of 11K... Bruuuuh if anybody reads this I'm sorry for your time and the cancer.

TW: yandere themes, blood, gore, descriptive violence, toxic relationships, heartbreak, death, offensive language, cursing, just a lot of bad triggering stuff, mentions of suicide, name calling.

This is during the Endeavor redemption Arc about two weeks before Endeavor VS HighEnd/Hood after that Manga spoilers start.. If you get to that point tho, you're close to the end congrats you made it.

Reader is an independent person with a strong personality, she's  strong willed and arrogant, you can say she's a more mature Bakugou with common sense lmao

This Will Contain Manga Spoilers

You yawned in boredom trying to stay awake, your eyes briefly glancing at the person who's currently speaking to all the pro heroes sitting in the room, hero commission meetings weren't only boring, they were also a waste of time you could've been patrolling and stopping villains saving civilians, but no you had to go to a different city for the meeting 'didn't these old hags and geezers hear of online meetings? We could've saved a lot of time if we didn't have to come here, what is this the 21st century?' you thought as your eyes drifted towards him, the guy who easily made your cold heart beat erratically.

Endeavor sat there not showing any emotion other than his normal intimidating expression his presence was impossible to ignore with his aura and signature flames, you could tell he didn't want to be here either but he did his hero work dutifully, your eyes trailed over his strong arms that were crossed over his chest, what made it even harder to look away was the fact that he was wearing a suit which is a rare occasion but the meeting was formal, the fabric strained to stay intact, you felt that of he flexed or took too deep of a breath the fabric would just tear apart and the buttons would go flying off, you kinda wished this would happen as you let your thoughts wonder.

How it'd feel to have those hands caress your body, to hold you tightly as he lifts you up supporting your weight, how his musculare arms would be wrapped around you as you ran your hands all over his musculare chest, you let your thoughts wonder as your eyes drank him in basically undressing him, you craved him, everything about him, not just his body, his mind, his soul, his heart, his love, you internally sighed, it's not like you both had any chance of that anyway, you snapped out of your trance feeling someone's eyes on you, looking up you realized it was Endeavor himself who was staring at you, you knew you were caught red handed and there was no getting out of it so you went with it and just smirked at him, sending a small wave.

You weren't a shy or meek person at all, you don't easily back down and your arrogance often put you in bad situations, like this one right now were your having a staring competition with Endeavor, a few silent words being sent between you both including him telling you to stop eyeing him up and focus on the meeting and you refusing and questioning why he's staring at you, your silent conversation would have went on if Aizawa didn't nudge you telling you to focus hey gave him a glare "don't tell me what to do" you growled and he just ignored you, looking back at Endeavor he was focused on the meeting again.

You sighed and put your attention back on the speaker but your attention wasn't at him, you started thinking about Endeavor and yourself, your memories together, even tho that was a distant memory.

Flashback

You panted running as fast as you could, the sun was blazing down on you with no mercy, you were sweaty and tired after an hour of this 'dammit dammit this is bad this is such a pain in the ass' "(y/n)! It's over you know!" you heard him call out behind you and started willing your body to run faster, you were almost there, just gotta- your eyes widened as he ran past you at an inhuman speed at this point "dammit! Oi get back here!" you yelled after him as he ran past the line and stopped, he stood there arms crossed staring at you triumphantly as you passed the line and put your hands on your knees panting, you looked up at him and stood up straight, he was panting and sweating as well, him having more stamina than you definitely proved to be useful in this situation "I win" he said smugly and you weakly glared at him half heartedly "damn you, how the hell do you have so much energy after all this training? It's so fucking hot!" he chuckled "I'm used to the heat little vixen" he smirked and you huffed "right right, so what should we do now?the rest of the class is still way in the back" you said straightening up as he smirked helping you and lead you to the benches "let's wait for them here it'll take them along time before they catch up to us" "true, we are the strongest in the class after all"

(character introduction by Mic)

Todoroki Enji Quirk:Hell Flame, he can create fire out of nothing and manipulate it to his will, it's useful in long ranged to short ranged attacks, while it's a very versatile quirk it has some dangerous drawbacks such as hyperthermia and burning the user. (we know the details ya'll.. Hehe... We're all Endeavor bitches here.... At least I know I am)

(L/N) (Y/N) Quirk:Demon Queen, she can transform into demon like creatures fully or partially (think Mirajane from FT... Even she has nothing to do with me coming up with this quirk) the demon form boosts her durability, strength and speed, she can also create shadow like substance that comes from her skin (this one is heavily influenced by venom yet I had the idea for a longer time and it worked in a different way), while the demon form is close ranged and strong in combat the shadow is long ranged and more versatile and can be used for sneak attacks, it is however weak against fire types which makes for a very interesting combat against Todoroki Enji.... Oi Shut it!.... Oh yeah she is also very hostile!... OI!, she also has phschokinesis and Telepathy

(I tried leaving the quirk blank as I hate it when authors apecify the quirk but I had to when I needed certain abilities for some parts... Sorry guys)

Enji chuckled "indeed" he sighed and looked at you as you threw aside your gym jacket remaining in your sports bra and gulped down some cold refreshing water "damn, sensei is really making us go through hell and back recently" you said stretching "well we're in UA after all, they're teaching us everything important" Enji said as he followed your every move, glancing at him you smirked "like what you see Enji?" he blushed slightly and got closer to you "so? What if I do? Can't I admire my beautiful girlfriend?" he said pulling you into his chest, while you both were sweaty it didn't matter to you, you smiled at him and pecked his lips (you're kinda tall ok, I assume he was shorter than this in high school) "oh I don't mind at all, as long as I get to admire my handsome boyfriend in return" exchanging a few kisses both of you were even more breathless now, just as it was getting more heated the idiots (your classmates) started arriving at the finish line, annoyed, both of you parted and glared at your classmates, while they were non the wiser as to why they were being glared at by the two most terrifying and powerful students in all three years of UA classes, they were deeply terrified and avoided you both in favor of keeping their lives.

"aright class that's it for today, as always Todoroki and (L/N) are ahead while-" you didn't really listen to the teacher talk and looked at Enji "so where should we go tonight? I wanna have some us time before the exams, we'll both be busy, especially that our agency has weird ass timings for summoning us" you said sighing "well there's a festival and it'll start tonight, maybe we can go I know you like those things, even tho they're filled with people" he said, you hummed thoughtfully then smirked at him "you mean I'll get to see you in a Yukata? I'm definitely in" he grumbled and sighed "yeah yeah, very funny, I don't get what you like about me in Yukatas anyway I look ridiculous" you chuckled "actually I love seeing you in a yukata you look very hot in them" he glared at you unamused "very funny (Y/N) very funny, you do know you'll have to wear a kimono as well right" he smirled as your expression turned into a mortified one "hell no" "its tradition my dear you'll have to wear it" you sighed hanging your head down, as the teacher dismissed the class "fine" you grumbled annoyed making him laugh in amusment " so cute I'll see you at the gates"  he said and walked towards the boys showers "OI who are you calling cute pyro? I'll kill you!" you yelled after him and he only chuckled in amusment at your outburst "I swear to God that jerk has a death wish" you grumbled heading into the girl's showers, meanwhile the entire class stood there watching the same thing that happens everyday that they should be used to it by now but every time they all gawk at your interactions like people would at a very unnatural show at the circus "guys... What kinda relationship do these two have? Are they supposed to be lovers?" one guy asked bewildered "I mean... I think? They're both demons all the time so I think this is demon love?" said one of the girls "this is so odd... They interact like they want to rip each other's throat out" said another girl "I'm too tired for this man, let's just go change and leave, I'd like to go to my very easily understandable life at home for toady" said one guy and everyone else agreed as the crowd left.

They have the right to think that your relationship is wrong and very odd, after all neither of you would show their true self in front of them, your affection and love is saved for behind closed doors, both of you are too proud and care about your tough image to show affection infornt of others.

These were the good times, neither of you knew what was coming your way, and how it'd shatter your relationship

That night both of you showered and showered and got dressed as you were doing your makeup you felt arms wrap around you "hey there" you said looking at your boyfriend in the reflection of the mirror "hey my love" he said making you blush and he chuckled at you "you done yet?" "nope, still have to do my hair" you said while putting on your eyeshadow, he humed and grabbed your brush and started styling your hair "hey... What are you-" you went to object by he stopped you "helping, I'll do your hair while you do your makeup, we'll be done faster" he said and you sighed "fine, just don't make me mess up" he hummed not answering and continued styling your hair, somehow you both worked in harmony and easily.

A little after you put the last touches on your makeup he was done putting up your hair and put a golden hair pin in it, one that you haven't seen before, you looked at your hair and at the pin fascinated by it "wow, this is... Really beautiful" you stood from your chair and turned around looking at him with a smile as he blushed lightly "I saw it and thought of you so I got it" he avoided looking at you in the eye you went up to him and kissed him gently "thanks love, I love it" he smiled pulling you in a hug, as you helped him with his Obi (the belt) he looked at you with such admiring look "what?" you asked feeling nervous from the staring "nothing, nothing at all just watching my hell queen" he smirked at you and you hid your face embarrassed 'damn him, knowing how to fluster me' "sh.. Shut up" he laughed pulling you to his chest as you both stared at each other's eyes exchanged a few kisses (your lipstick has sealing agent OK? OK).

A couple minutes later you parted, putting the last few touches you grabbed your stuff, phones, keys, wallets and went to the festival, throwing comments at each other like always, arriving at the festival you looked around watching all the stalls and couples and friends going around, it was too crowded which was a pain in the ass for the both of you, but you decided to ignore them and went around, gokmg around, trying foods, sweets and playing games, you getting extremely pissed at some people here and there, a lady in particular who was sticking her nose in your business "you know for a lady, you sure do have a filthy mouth" Enji said smirking "shut it ashes! She pissed me off" you said still angry "I don't mind, you're cute when you're angry my vixen" he said smirking making you blush and narrow your eyes at him "Todoroki Enji if you fear for your life you better stop fucking calling me cute" you said glaring at him, he put his hand on your head patting it slightly "there there, don't be like that I was just joking" you pushed his hand away and huffed, "you're on thin ice Endeavor" you said "is that so (H/N)? Well I better be careful then" he said pulling you to him, he was really warm "yeah you better" you said calming down and getting lost in his eyes as he leaned down kissing you.

Both of you slipped away to an abandoned side of the festival to.. Uhh... Stargaze yeah that... Nah ya'll did the horizontal tango.. Except it was vertical, as he held you up, your back on a tree for support. (I suck at writing smut.. Go to the festival smut Enji fic, I don't remember what the exact name was but the content is, you and Endeavor are dating, go to the festival, then hookup on a tree cause you ain't wearing panties, you aren't wearing them here either)

The festival went well You both had fun and teased each other competing over who's best at winning games and ended up going home with a lot of prizes.

Good memories are the best you can always look back at them and smile, but if you've lost the person you made the memories with, then they just become a painful slow poison that flows through you, slowly killing you.

It was during your work studies as third years when it started, you both went to the same agency, while the pro you went to was the top, he wasn't exactly a good person, extremely misogynistic bastard, who's ego is too fragile to admit a woman can be strong, which is why he despised you, like a snake he kept poisoning your boyfriend, filling his head with what he knew would get to him, tricking him into thinking you're using him, that he's getting weak cause he depends on you to have his back while fighting, like a devil on his shoulder he keeps telling him more and more lies, he made sure his plans are effective by firing you from his agency so now, student you had to find herself another agency, every agency in the same area accepted you by looking at your records, yet once they saw the name you were denied, you didn't understand why and remained without an agency for weeks which was bad for a third year, you found out that it was because of him he either bribed or scared all the so called pros from taking you, till one who didn't give a shit about him accepted you, the problem was, that you were four cities apart from Enji, which put the long distance strain on your already strained relationship.

It was a sunny day, unlike the cliché it was dark and stormy and raining, you both met after a long time apart, and while your convo started calmly, it quickly escalated to a full blown fight.

"YOU LEFT ME! YOU DECIDED TO GET AS FAR AWAY FROM ME AS YOU CAN! FOUR CITIES? WHAT THE NEARBY CITIES RAN OUT OF HEROES?" an infuriated Enji yelled at you, with the distance and how grueling the work was, you two didn't have anytime to meet at all, "Enji calm down for fucks sake! Allow me to explain I didn't have the time-" he interrupted you furiously "didn't have the time? What you're done using me? After everything! After everything that happened, how I trusted you, how I confided in you, how I always fucking ran to you when I needed someone! You don't even call anymore either! Not even a phone call, What you're bored of me now? You found someone else? Of course you did! You can't keep your legs closed you slut" you slapped him hard your hand hurt but it didn't matter, your heart hurt worse.

If only he listened, he'd have known it wasn't your choice to go so far.

"how dare you! How dare you accuse me of cheating you asshole! I'm always loyal to you because for some fucking reason I'm in love with you! You think I didn't try to be around you more? You think I didn't deprive myself of sleep for days just to take extra shifts and have the time to come back here for you? How can you claim to love me if you won't trust me? Did you forget what we went through together? How I always stood by your side nomatter what? You're a selfish greedy bastard who's only capable of loving himself!" you yelled angrily at him.

If only you knew, if only you knew, that this isn't his thoughts that this isn't his opinion.

Both of you not backing down both of you boiling with rage that's going to burn down your relationship like his beautiful quirk, that you loved so much and thought fit him so much, with his attitude and how he's always going forward like an out of control fire, he always seemed like a God of the sun to you, now his quirk was making him into Hades himself, king of hell and death, the one who shall drag you to hell to torment you for your sin of loving him.

"you're so fucking bold pretending to be a Saint! You're a manipulative bitch, You think you can just walk all over me woman? You're beneath me! There's no reason for me to stay with someone like you, who's going to set me back I don't love you this was all a mistake! An illusion I've lived in for so long" your anger disintegrated morphing into heartbreak and sadness, you two fought a lot, and while calling you a cheater and a slut hurt, you still had your love, you would forgive him like you always did, and likewise he'd forgive you like he always did nomatter how bad you both went against each other yes it was toxic, but both of you were broken, and this is how you functioned... But saying he doesn't love you is what actually broke you, what cemented this argument as the worst of your relationship, the end of it.

He seemed to realize what he said albeit too late, still arrogant you refused to cry in front of him "I hate you! We're over Todoroki! I wish I never knew you! I despise the day we met! I curse the day we became friends, you can go to hell!" and still arrogant Todoroki didn't try to take back what he said, and refused to show his hurt over you saying how you hated him and his existence, how this brought back some unwanted memories." great! Then We're over! Thank God" he yelled and marched past you.

Both of you broken, both of you saying things you shouldn't have said 'please comeback! I love you! I forgive you' you internally cried clutching your heart.

'just turn around, fucking turn around, go back to her she's your safety, go back to your angel.. You stubborn arrogant bastard!' Enji scolded himself, looking back he saw you walking away, head hung low, he knew he hurt you, as he willed his body to follow you, reaching out a hand he almost called out for you 'she makes you weak' he heard the pros voice in his head 'she's going to drag you down' 'she's using you' and although he knew non of this was true, he didn't call out for her, he turned around and continued walking, having the same internal fight with himself.

'comeback to me please! My sun!' turning around you looked at his retreating figure willing to calm out for him, yet to stubborn and too hurt to let word out, seeing him still walking away with such anger and intensity in his posture and such determination, determination to what? 'to get away from me? He's that eager?' your tears fell as the pain inside you grew, turning around you ran away, away from him, away from his pain, from his burning love that always felt welcoming now feeling scorching hot like it'll burn you to ashes.

Five seconds

Five seconds, was the difference between them, if he looked at her retreating form for five more seconds he'd have seen her turn around with a broken and longing, loving look.

Five seconds, if she's looked at him five seconds earlier she'd have seen him with his hand outstretched for her

Five Seconds

After hours of walking around aimlessly they decided to go home, well Enji did (Y/N) went to her friend's apartment which she had the key to, Enji sighed seeing the empty apartment they both shared, their home together, after going about their day like zombies doing their homeworks, training, studying like they're on some sort of auto pilot, they went to bed, alone for the first time in years, it really downed on them then, it's over, their home was gone, they both broke down, home was with their significant other, home was were they felt the love between the two of them, as they both cried alone, showing their hurt and weakness.

After hours of crying and begging for the other to come back, they both stared at the ceiling sending a curse to the heavens that broke them, that decided they didn't suffer enough in the past but had to suffer more, as Todoroki Enji looked at the small velvet box he was clutching onto, he opened it looking at the beautiful (gem) ring that he planned to give to her.. Well if she said yes of course "which you would have, wouldn't you my vixen", meanwhile said woman was curled in her bed unable to shed anymore tears, clutching her stomach she let out a dry chuckle that turned into a sob "it's OK my little angel, I love you, I'll always be here for you, sorry daddy won't be around, he's not a bad father I swear, I'm the bad mother, he... He doesn't even know you exist.. I'm sorry I know... He would have loved you"

Untold secrets, surprises that'd have brought laughs and tears of joy, brought pain onto two poor unfortunate souls that night.

END FLASHBACK

You sighed remembering these memories brought a heaviness on your chest, your refused to think about it anymore, otherwise you'd cry, now that would be hard to explain, why would the demon queen hero cry at a.... 'wait what are they talking about?' you thought focusing on them "while there's a massive increase in crime after the events of Kamino ward a couple of months ago in a lot of these areas there's a considerable drop in crime in these areas, we think it's due to the hero agencys there, as the zones are where the Endeavor, (H/N), Hawks, Edgeshot Miruko and lot more agencies and work areas are" 'ah right, crime stats, we're at that stage means next stage is... A word by the mentioned heroes... Great I wanna go back to kicking villain ass already, I have such high status cause I was doing my work not sitting in meetings.. This shit is useless, and seriously? You think? Of course it's because All Might retired AND was revealed to be a skeleton.. Haha... OK it's not funny... Nah it is... Speaking of which... I'm assuming Endeavor is pissed from becoming the top by default... Damn I hate becoming Two by default... Well damn... Would you look at that... Were where we promised No.1 Hero Endeavor, No.2 Hero (H/N)... Things didn't go as planned.. But we got there haha... FUCK! '.

You directed your eyes back at Endeavor, it hurt, really hurt, hearing on the news that he have been married, you really thought you could reconsile, yet he was avoiding you like the plague, like he hated your very existence, at first you decided to let him calm down and get his thoughts together, then you got busy with your child, after about a year his avoidance to you sky rocketed, he went from not looking your way for more than a couple seconds to totally ditch the room you are in the second you walked in, you pushed the thoughts to the back of your head and focused back on the speaker, and it was time for the heroes to speak, so Endeavor went first, speaking about efficiency and tactics and sidekicks, yadda yadda 'damn I forgot... He could be so boring sometimes... He's lucky I love listening to his voice anyway' you smiled slightly, not exactly listening to what he's saying more like listening to him, next was Hawks a new kid basically which wasn't here either 'heh kid can't even get to a meeting-oh dear I didn't just-... Fuck.... Damn kid is good tho he rose to the top real quick, good for him, if he keeps that up he'll pass All might himself... Now wouldn't that be cruel to Endeavor... And to me... That's gotta suck.. A kid surpassimg me? Heh yeah right' focusing now on other things to distract yourself from your memories you made a mental note to try harder somehow, maybe take on new districts, you were next, after making a comment about how you don't really like making speeches you went on and gave a small (kinda) speech, (can't think of anything) arrogantly expressing how good you are and how it'll just get better, you threw a few comments about being efficient and throwing shade on the other speakers while smirking at Endeavor who glared at you.

Later

"damn I am glad this is all over, I was starting to get a headache" he sighed walking out "it wasn't like you were focused (H/N)" you heard from behind you, turning around you came eye to eye with Endeavor, well chest even tho you were wearing heels and already tall, he towered over you (bruh like I'm 6'1... He ain't that much taller than me lol.. He intimidating tho) "well hello to you too Endeavor, what makes you so sure I wasn't focused?" you said crossing your arms, his eyes did a quick scan of you, you wore (idk choose what you want just make it formal, I hate when authors tell me what to wear lmao...) while you did the same to him" well you were too busy checking me out " he said crossing his arms as well, both of you not backing down 'as always' both of you thought.

"I wasn't checking you out, I was just looking" "for what exactly?" he narrowed his eyes "I don't know, to see if you're still in one piece, especially after all the madness that is Hosu and Kamino, that was kinda a bad situation while I was there in Kamino I wasn't in Hosu, All For One is a nightmare but Stain.... Its said he froze everyone with his blood lust" you smirked "well I handled it" he said growling "yeah I fucking saw that" you said "so.... How's it going? Other than the Hosu thing what did you do recently? And Kamino of course" you asked, he looked at you for a second as if thinking you're not serious about asking him but he sighed seeing you're serious "well, Shoto came to my agency for the internship, the school allowed first years to do them because of recent events" "right the USJ attack" you said.

"I heard through a trusted source that him and the green haired kid and the Iida kid are the ones who beat stain actually, right?" you said looking at him "how did you-" he was shocked then sighed "yeah, they did but because they didn't have their hero license they would have been expelled so it had to be covered up someone had to take the credit, and it happened to be me, I hate taking fake credit" he said annoyed "yeah, I know you always wanted to be the best by your own standards" you said and he looked at you with a soft expression, 'you always know me so well huh, can't believe some bastards actually think I took the credit because I wanted the fake glory' he thought while admiring you 'even after all these years' he sighed, you felt his gaze on you, as you fell into silence, trying to avoid the awkwardness you changed the subject "by the way Shoto doesn't seem like the type of kid to break the rules like that, and wasnt he supposed to be with you?" you asked and he hummed "the other two went there first then the Midoriya kid texted Shoto his location, he just left me on the street and ran there" he said shaking his head, you laughed slightly and nodded "yeah he seems close with that kid, especially with the sports festival fight" you said then suppressed a laugh "what?" he narrowed his eyes at you "nothing you're just kinda.... Funny.... SHOOTOOO" you said trying to copy him but breaking into laughter before that "OI... That's not suppossed to be funny" he grumbled "whatever you say" you said taking your breath.

You looked at him expecting him to be at least annoyed by your antics, yet he had a soft relaxed expression, you smiled at him "what?" you asked softly "nothing, it's just... It's been a while since I had a good conversation with someone" you smiled "really?, well good to know I'm up to your standards" you said, you two chatted for a while after that as you walked around the streets.

Endeavor couldn't help but crave you, your heart, your Love, your body, he wanted it all back, "and then that vigilante kid jumped into my fire to get the woman that was controlling the bees, I can't believe these vigilantes" he continued with the story you nodding "well it is reckless and out of the law to be a vigilante so I'll have to agree with you" you said as you both walked around, both of you having your hero suits with you, well... He just activated his quirk burning the suit to reveal his hero one underneath, now that shocked you for a second, while you (idk however you guys wanna do it, my OC has a pretty small suit... Kinda revealing lol.. So it doesn't take much space.. Can be carried anywhere... She also had it under her clothes.... Its kinda like League of Legends Jinx.. Kinda not totally).

You both attracted a lot of attention, and as always he just ignored them, you'd just wave at a random person, not out of accepting their over excited idiocy, but because you enjoyed watching them fall to the ground from how they're over reacting 'hehe.. Vixen' you thought, as he was telling you another story a bank alarm went off, both of you rushing there to stop the burglary but as you got there the thieves were all on the ground passed out, you both blinked in confusion, with your reaction time you should have gotten here fast "And next time think twice before breaking the law, because you'll find me in your way everytime, and it'll be over before you know it" yelled the hero that stopped them, flames engulfed her in a similar fashion to Enji's, her hair being on fire as well, her hero suit seeming to be the same as him except hers has the top half like a top showing her entire middle and arms, it worked in favor of showing her toned abs and biceps, while it'd have been inconvenient in the cold for anybody else, her flames eliminated that possibility " Fourth Rank Hell Queen Hero Inferno" Endeavor said looking at her "oh?.. ENDEAVOR SAN what brings you to my district? Oh and (H/N) too what a surprise.... wait what're you two doing together?" she asked jumping and landing infront of you two, standing at a height identical to Endeavor himself "pleasure to finally meet you, flame hero I gotta say you're my role model, we have the same quirks you see? You inspired me to become a hero" while you stared at both of them.

Endeavor heard what he always heard from his fans yet that girl wasn't being a fan girl, she spoke with bride and arrogance, she really meant her words yet she was professional and wasn't being an ass kiss like others, he took her outstretched hand shaking it "glad to hear it, more importantly glad to have a fan who can actually speak and use her brain" he said and she chuckled and smirked "damn must be my lucky day, getting such an acknowledgement, anyway what're you doing around here? You're kinda far from your agency, are you on a mission of some sort? Need a guide?" she asked "did neither of you really turn off your falmes on your hands?" you mumbled, both of them seeming to hear you they looked at you "flame heroes" said Inferno "(H/N) you're aware I'm fire proof right?" "right" you said wondering how she made him agree with her so fast.

"anyway... Why the hell didn't you attend the meeting?" you turned to her and asked her, she sighed "I was busy, every crook in the city lost their damn minds today" you said "it's mandatory to attend Inferno you could have left them to your sidekicks" she sighed "jeez Okaasan chill, I couldn't leave, my sidekicks are taking care of some things, there's just that much chaos around" she crossed her arms "right right still-" "besides if I went I would have just had to sit there while you ogled at Endeavor anyway" "OI! ZIP IT KID!" you yelled then glanced at Endeavor who gave you an amused look "wasn't staring huh?" he smirked "don't listen to her" "oh so you did~" she teased "NO!" "yes she did" "oooohhh damn" "shut up, and you need to catch up on what was said in the meeting" "you can brief me later woman"  she sighed "ne Endeavor San you were there as well right?" Endeavor looked at her " I was" "great maybe you can brief me too, ne tell me, not that I'm complaining but you don't talk to people that much, yet you're holding such along conversation with me, why's that?" Endeavor seemed surprised himself "me and your mother knew each other a while back we were just talking and then ran into you" he answered and she nodded Satisfied "wait... Mother... You knew Endeavor and didn't tell me? You could have let me meet him years ago!" she said " well we didn't talk for a while.. A few years that is" and as the conversation went on you guys stepped away from the scene, a totally different thought going through Endeavor's head and a similar yet different thought going through yours 'Okaasan? She's her daughter huh...so... Back then... '

FLASHBACK

A couple weeks after the fight they graduated high school and both of them focused on thier careers, she never came back to their apartment, they both had worked part time jobs and full time in summer since middle school and saved up, getting a good head start to their rent and the bills they'd have to pay, they'd have to work during UA and it'll be hard but they'll manage, as long as they get away from those hell holes, the ones they were raised in, wouldn't even call it home... It was hell, and they both escaped it into this haven they shared, well.. Not anymore.

As time went on, and as he realized how stupid his mentor is, it is true he depends on her on the battle field alot, but she depends on him too, they're both the power couple of the hero world Endeavor and (H/N) with how similar/opposing/complimentary their quirks are, they can deal with any situation with speed and efficiency no one else is capable of, he realized how he was a Fool for listening to his mentor, with a determined mind he left the agency after the day was over, walking in the cold weather, wasn't any trouble to him with his quirk, yet it brought a smile to his face thinking about her and how she loved (or hated if that's your preference) the winter, and the snow flakes, how even if she isn't cold (or cold) she'd still hold on to him wrapping her arm around his waist as he wrapped his around her shoulders, he smiled at the memories of them together, 'damn... We have a memory associated with everything' he sighed.

Buying her favorite flowers, a gift that he knew she'd like, at least he hoped she would with how mad she'd be at him, and a speech of apology that he prepared and embarrassimgly practiced, and the ring 'just in case' he thought 'just in case it all goes well, and I spontaneously propose I have the ring' he smiled, he really didn't mind if he'd have to beg for forgiveness, he acknowledged that he instigated the fight and escalated it while she was on the defensive, while he didn't let her even talk, he loved his Persephone and he'd throw away his ego for her.

Arriving at her house he sighed, it's been over a year, it shouldn't have taken me so long he thought, as he sighed going up the small steps and raising his hand to knock, he saw something that made him freeze on the spot, like his blazing quirk was replaced with ice, through the window by the door, he saw his beloved, as beautiful as ever with a child in her arms, an infant, a very small one at that, she smiled at the baby in her arms as she cooed softly for it, he couldn't see them clearly but there was someone sitting on the other side of the couch, 'no... That's not it, she's just babysitting or holding the baby for one of her stupid friends' he thought trying to convince himself that it's not true, as his thoughts raced he was interrupted by the cries of the child, he watched them again as she pulled the child closer to her chest giving it her nipple as it started feeding and stopped crying, it hurt hurt like having every bone in his body broken, hurt like he overheated himself 10 times over, hurt like acid running through his veins, with all the pain and heartbreak all common sense escaped him, that the child may be his, it looks like it's a couple months old, he failed to notice that the shadow of the unknown third party is her annoying cheerful friend who for some reason have always been at their home, she didn't even chatter with them she would just stay there with them. (best friends be like... Your home is my home too ha).

Turning around he walked down the steps, his fury so intense that his quirk burned uncontrollably disintegrating the gifts he brought for her, except a single red rose that he had added to the flowers collection ironically due to a comment about his hair from her, the red rose had Slight burns on it and it laid on top of snow covered in ashes.

Five Seconds

Five seconds, If you looked at the window by the door five seconds earlier you'd have seen him.

Noticing a sudden brightness that disappeared outside your friend looked at you questioningly, the light seemed to grab your little girl's attention as she stopped crying becoming fuzzy as she twisted around in your arms reaching her hands up curling her hands in a graby motion, you shushed her as your friend went to check.

Walking outside (F/N) saw the rose and the ashes she realized what might happened, and as she contemplated it she realized that if (Y/N) finds this she'll be broken again, she'll go after him and he won't even let her explain, they'll fight again and he'll abandon her again, seeing her broken for the first time was painful enough, she sighed picking up the rose and tucking it away in her jacket creating a wind draft that blew the ash covered snow away "what is it?" came your voice from being her "is something out there?" you asked looking at her "no... Its nothing" she said closing the door.

Shrugging you went back to calming down your baby "you look so much like your daddy, my sweet little burning flame, my Kouen" you sang to her softly putting her to sleep, she had her dad's hair and eyes, she was stubborn even as a baby, she was born prematurely and heavily underweight, which is why she looks so small for a 6 months old, the doctors told you she might not make it but as you spoke to her daily in the incubator, telling her to fight and live, she kept fighting and you managed to return home with your baby, your reminder of your lover, such an amazing thing you two created, oh how you wished she met her dad, how you wished to see him carry her "you are looking for him aren't you? You're wondering where daddy is, God you'd have been such a daddy's girl" you cried as you talked to her.

If only... If only he rang the bell that day, if only your friend told you what she found then maybe, maybe it'd have gone differently.

END FLASHBACK

By now you had walked to Inferno's agency and went to her office (look ya'll gonna be having some conversations that don't belong in the streets OK? OK)

"So Okaasan?" he asked "hm? Oh right, (H/N) is my mother, what didn't tell him you got a kid... Damn that's cold" "hush "Endeavor San did she tell you about me?" "she didn't" he said looking at you "it didn't come up" you said, "oh OK then... if that's the case allow me to reintroduce myself, the Hell Queen Hero Inferno, daughter of the Demon Hero (H/N), no clue who my dad is tho, never met the guy" she said shrugging, "Inferno, that's enough" Endeavor seemed intrigued "you never met your father?" "nah never, mom says it's complicated" she shrugged, both of them looking at you "what?.. What do you want? I'm not opening this subject again Kou" "Kou?" Endeavor looked at her "ugh dammit woman! The Name's Kouen or Kou-Kun, Kou sounds too soft and childish" she crossed her arms "Kouen, enough" "Kouen? Like flames or prominence" Endeavor asked "hm? Oh yeah like that she wouldn't tell why she named me that either, gotta have to do with my flame quirk" she said emphasizing on it by manipulating her flames, turning it off as well.

"see? I do have hair I just choose to keep it on fire" Endeavor stared at her, now without her flames he can see her more clearly, the red short hair on her head, not a shade different from his own, her sapphire eyes that had the same shine to them, her facial features while feminine yet harsh, resembled his own way too much, the confident posture, the way she talks, somehow.. Somehow his same attitude, "interesting... so if you don't mind me asking how old are you?" he said "oh I'm 28 mom had me at 18.. Kinda irresponsible don't you think?" "irresponsible indeed" he said and she nodded turning her flames back on " yeah, she said she knew my quirk since I was born, good thing she went after my fire quirk not Demon Quirk, as you might know I have a hybrid quirk, her Demon and Flame, would have been weird" she said (Her quirk is a perfect mix, she has the perfect hybrid quirk) "agreed, so (Y/N) care to join the conversation?" Endeavor said looking at you who was standing there silently, you sighed "yeah, going the fire way was the right call" "you guys are on first name? Damn what'd I miss?" she asked "Kouen dear... Care to go over there for a sec? I need to talk to Endeavor about something" you said using your authoritive voice, even tho it was rarely effective "why? What do you wanna talk to him about all of a sudden that's a secret?" "Kouen please.. Now" you asked again "Inferno, care to give us a moment, I have something to ask her too" Endeavor said and she looked at him and sighed "sure thing, I'll be over there, just yell for me when you're done" with that she walked away.

Endeavor looked at you questioningly crossing his arms "so you have a daughter, a flame quirk daughter who's 28?"

You looked at him quietly, guilt and anxiety filling you " yes.... I do" you sighed "and she doesn't have a father, never met him and you never told her who he is" "I didn't want her to go chase him, in case he didn't want her, I didn't know... What he wanted" you sighed looking down, taking a deep breath you looked up at him, instead of anger or anything of the sort you saw patience, and hope "is she..." he asked, not dating to complete the question in fear of disappointment in case if the universe is just that cruel to him "she's your daughter" you said "I was pregnant, that day.... I was going to tell you... But then we had that fight and I just... " you took a deep breath "I didn't know what to do, whether to tell you or not, not like you'd listen to me anyway, you started avoiding me after that" he sighed "I did, God... I can't believe that I... Missed Twenty Eight years of my daughter's life.. Yet again... It was my fault" he said looking to the ground "Enji no... It was both of our fault, we should have listened to each other, we've always been so.... Aggressive and hot headed, we dug our own graves basically I should have told you maybe... "  "I knew" he interrupted you.

"what?" you looked at him, he hung his head down, taking a deep breath he looked at you, regret and pain in his eyes "I went to your house, over year after it all ended, I nearly knocked but then...then I saw you, sitting there with someone next to you, sitting there with an infant in your arms you looked so happy and content, with some other guy, with his child, Cobra's (your work studies Pro) words ringing in my ears, that you're not loyal to me, that you used me and didn't love me."he said looking at you" even... I even went to you that day cursing him and his teachings, his false ideals, cursing what he did to us, you know I found out he fired you? He told me that you quite" he  said "God you're such an idiot you know that?" you sighed then looked at him "I know" he said looking at you "wow he even admits it" you smirked.

"That day... When you saw another guy with me... You didn't really see them right?" you asked he looked at you confused shaking his head "thought so, well that was (F/N) she was staying over to help me take care of your very fuzzy stubborn ass daughter, damn she's stubborn as hell as you can see" "I should have checked, I should have known, I KNEW that you're loyal to me, just I should have asked you" he said, his flames all going out "man you really deserve a slap for all this, or a punch" you sighed shaking your head "you're right, I do, you can go ahead I was a terrible boyfriend, an even worse father to her, and to my other children he said taking a deep breath closing his eyes and opening them again.

"later, not in front of your daughter.. Now why don't you go introduce yourself?" he looked at you shocked "what? You're not mad at me? At all?" "No, I'm not..we've already spent so long mad at each other, look where it got us, let's just throw away all the anger and just... Live, and you're not off the hook yet... your next mission is to go to your daughter and tell her you're her dad, to be fair I do have a lot of the blame, when she was a child she connected the dots, how we were in the same year and how she's basically a copy of you, and the quirk.. God... She didn't even ask she straight up Said 'Endeavor is my dad' and I spent the entire day proving her wrong... So it's not only on you and damn is that kid smart"  you said crossing your arms sighing.

he looked at you in shock "so she knows?" "pretty sure she does, she's just pretending to have bought my lie" "right" looking behind him he looked at her, she was standing at the other end of her office looking at you both intently, waiting for this 'talk' to be over, Endeavor signaled her to come over and she walked to you guys "sooo... That looked deep... This isn't a business talk at all... Looked personal" Kouen said she stood in front of you "no it isn't" you said "Enji?" "more first name basis? Wow" she said looking at him "Inferno... So I don't even know how to say this, and I'm terrible in these things but... Look Me and your mother used to date in high school, we broke up, due to my mistake and.... I'm your father I know I haven't been there for you at all, I don't have the right to ask you to forgive me but I'll try.. I'll try to be the father you imagined me to be a hero that you're proud of- huh" not letting him even finish she hugged him "I've always been proud of you, that's the first thing I told you when we met dammit" she said holding on to him tightly, "you didn't know, when I met you today I knew it's my chance to reveal who I am to you, that's why I told you all that ya know? I ain't that chatty with people" Endeavor stood there not knowing what to do for a second he was shocked, but slowly he wrapped his arms around her, pulling you close as well the three of you stood there just holding each other.

The heavens are done punishing him, the heavens are done punishing you, apparently now... Now you can be together, even if it's a bit complicated.

TIMESKIP

Kouen met Shoto and apparently they both bonded, in some weird way, Natsou and Fuyumi as well "well we lived in the same house as him yet we didn't see him so there isn't a difference between us at all" Natsou scoffed "Natsou that's not appropriate! Come on" Fuyumi said "it's OK, Fuyu don't worry about it" Kouen said "he's stating his opinion" they all talked for a while before Kouen had to excuse herself "sorry guys I have to go, I have a meeting with Hawks and Dad in Kyushu, you guys are going to your mom right? Want me to drop you off?" she asked "no it's OK we got it" Natsou said "You don't wanna be late for meeting up with Hawks right Ne-chan?" Fuyumi teased making the older girl go red "O...Oi shut it... I'm going to meet dad not that fried chicken" he flames turning on Fuyumi giggled as Natsou wiggled his eyebrows "ah huh right right, more like a hot fried chicken" Natsou said "JUST GO ALREADY YOU TWO" she yelled making them laugh at her while she marched away from them using her flames she propelled herself forward flying to Kyushu (ya know like FIRESTORM in Flash and Legends).

LATER

The attack goes the same with addition to Inferno helping in slowing down high-end when Endeavor was temporarily down, put getting tossed onto buildings as well, and her helping with the flying up cause she's fire proof unlike Hawk's feathers, she separates right before he turns hood into a mini sun, in her fall she notices Dabi in the distance, yet when She lands she ig ores it to make sure dad is fine first, cries tears of joy when he's standing, goes to him and is ready to smack a hoe whne Dabi shows, he isn't fazed until Miruko shows up like what happened in the Manga.

TIMESKIP

A couple weeks after, Endeavor leaves the hospital, While Kouen didn't have the same injuries as him she got a pretty bad hit which endangered her life, the heavens decided to be merciful again and let her live and walk out there with HIM "you know, mom is going to kill us right?" Kouen said, Endeavor shook his head "that's what I'm dreading" he sighed making her laugh at him as they both went home, Endeavor still lived at his house but he'd come to their house from time to time, now he went their cause (Y/N) said she'll take care of her two heroes "after she kicks their asses she means" Endeavor muttered as they reached the house, as they got in (Y/N) told them to rest, not five seconds later they both had to dodge the chancla (lmao) "dammit woman!" they both said simultaneously "nuh uh, you two don't get to sync on me! And you two don't get to get THAT injured on me" smacking both their heads hard she returned to making the food as they complained about her hitting injured people.

You sighed making them their dinner, normal homemade ramen for Enji, a death penalty of spicy ramen to Kouen, you smiled softly hearing them talking about how she's too rough on two injured heroes in the line of duty, sighing your thoughts drifted to his other kids and his wife, yes you knew their story, yes you knew what happened but you couldn't help but feel you're stealing him from his wife somehow, like you're the bad person, but yet again what happened to you two wasn't fair, the cruelty of the universe stole him from you so you shall steal him back, you're fighting a war, a war with destiny, and you shall win, it's fair right? Yeah it is, you grinned its all fair when it comes to love "it's all fair in love and war my love~".

After dinner was served you guys just rested all day, with them both asking you for stuff "I swear to God you two sound like whining 5 year Olds" you said getting them another thing, five minutes later they were about to ask you something "next one who asks for something ridiculous I'll break another bone of yours!" you threatened shutting them both.

.

.

"love you" both of them said and smirked at you

.

.

"fine what do you want?" dammit.

TIMESKIP

The window opened as the mysterious figure climbed in through with ease, looking at the peacefully sleeping woman, with hatred, she looked so beautiful, so perfect, so disgusting!

The figure grabbed the woman with ease covering her mouth, as she struggled she couldn't break free, she couldn't move, they were so strong, everybody peacefully asleep, unaware of the horror that's happening, looking at her attacker her eyes widened, she was in shock, her attacker smirked, the white haired woman tried to scream but she couldn't, the gloved hand that covered her mouth wouldn't let up "hello Rei-San" said the (h/c) woman with a sickeningly sweet smile, "you might be wondering why am I here... Well... Let's just say this... After so many years... I've been reunited with the love of my life and I won't let anybody get in my way... You are an obstacle, unfortunately for you... I'll have to get rid of you" you sang as you knocked over the base that held the beautiful withering flower "what a shame.... You were also doing so great... But you had a sudden psyche break.... And you decided to... End it all... End the pain" you sang sweetly, using your quirk to control her, her struggling stopped as she got up quietly, tearing down object after object, throwing around such precious letters that she had, pulling her hair, scratching her self, she looked down grabbing the broken shards of glass, she looked at you with hopeful puppy eyes, too sweet innocent, with such fear behind them, begging you to let her go, you nodded go ahead and she smiled "yes Master" she said in a sweet obedient voice, looking back down her hands, she brought the glass to her wrists and started cutting, cut after cut after cut till her arm was covered in cuts, then her other arm as tears slipped passed her fearful yet giddy eyes, her white clothes were covered in beautiful crimson color, her legs were next, looking at you again "come on baby.. Don't be afraid, it'll feel good I promise~" she smiled again, grabbing the pen from the floor she held it tightly in her hand making a string fist, pushing it full force she stabbed her eye, pulling it out she looked at you "master" "it's OK baby go ahead~" you smiled in approval, with a grin she aimed the pen again "thank you Master" she said in her cute obedient voice sending the pen through her other eye, pulling it out she dropped it to the floor "Master?" "I'm here. My sweet pet.... Now sit there like a God dog" "Hai" "dogs don't talk.. Hmm... Oh I know... We can just.." Raising her hand with the glass she stuck her tongue out, pushing the piece of glass through she cut through it till it was off, vocal cords next, somehow knowing where to cut exactly, reaching the glass she started cutting through them, choking on her blood and beading out, she sat there obediently, as blood and tears fell from her eyes, "good girl... Now.. Die" she sat there for a couple more seconds then dropped dead, drowned in her blood and having bled out, as the crimson surrounded her, you almost felt jealous " don't worry my little puppy, you can keep (F/N) company in hell hehehe~"

Going out the window like you came in, leaving no trace at all of your existence you smiled as you looked at the moon "my beloved is mine now... And mine alone"

TIMESKIP

You were sitting in the living room watching the news, this being your day off, you looked up at Enji and smiled "hey my love, come join me" he smiled at you, drying his hair having just came out of the shower, he only had pants on, as you admired his strong muscles he sat next to you, giving you a sweet kiss unlike the passionate ones you usually shared "you looked at him and smiled "what? You seem to be in a very good mood today did something happen?" "it's nothing" Enji answered looking away "I just... I'm happy... I got you back my Persephone" he said making you giggle "my beloved Hades, I'll always come back for you" cuddling closer together you decided to find a movie or something to watch.

Later

You both just sat there, watching movies, and messing around... Doing some adult Tango, you were both just relaxing when Enji's phone rang, you both ignored it for a while but then he looked at it due to the persistence of the caller, looking at it he saw Shoto's number he answered "SHOOTOOOO" you put your hand on your mouth to cover your laugh "what is it?" "come to mom's hospital quick" came Shoto's panicked voice "what?.. Why what's going on?" "I don't know, I came to visit her but they won't let me in, there are police cars around, they're saying I shouldn't go in there" "OK... Calm down... I'm on my way" hanging up he got up to get dressed, you looked at Enji "what is it?" "I don't know, Shoto called from the hospital there's something wrong" he said sighing "SHOTO'S AT THE HOSPITAL? Is he hurt? Is one of kids? Was it another villain attack?" you panicked, he smiled, God he loved how you worried about these little kids it made his heart flutter, then shook his head "no they're OK, they're at Rei's hospital, he said they won't let him in and there's police cars around" you looked at him shocked "shit... Is Rei OK?" you asked "I don't know that's what I'll have to figure out" he then looked at you weird "wait... Did you just ask if Rei is OK? And with such concern?" you huffed "we're actually friends just so you know" you crossed your arms "is that so"he said watching you get dressed" yes, we talk a lot.. I go there when I have time... I'm coming with, I wanna make sure Rei is alright" "alright then hurry up" you glared at him as you quickly got dressed "well excuse me my suit isn't as easy as yours" soon you both left for the hospital, one unaware of what awaits at their destination, the other playing her act very well.

Later

Arriving at the hospital the three kids were standing there anxiously as the fourth was trying to calm them down "guys, come on it may just be because of the recent villain attacks and all that" Kouen tried calming them down, the second you two walked in they all ran up to you "Oyaji make them tell us what's going on in here?" Shoto started immediately " I got this, calm down, where is the person in charge here?" walking up to Rei's doctor after spotting him "what's going on here?" he asked him "what's with the police and preventing the kids from going in?" the Doctor looked at them with a sad and devastated look, "sir, there was.... Something happened yesterday, during the night, we're not sure what may have triggered her but-" the Doctor was evading, getting impatient Natsou stormed past the guards taking them by surprise unable to stop him, like a domino effect, he was immediately followed by his siblings, and Enji and you, reaching the room first taking a look inside " Okasa- huh?" he froze, a look of terror in his eyes, "Natsou what's wrong?" Shoto reaching him second he looked inside and like his brother he froze, Kouen was next seeing the scene before her she was shocked, snapping out of her trance just in time to pull Fuyumi's fave into her chest to stop her from seeing, but she got a glimpse, and it was enough to throw her into tears "w... Wait.. What.. What was that? O... Okasan?..what" as Kouen hid her sister's face both you and Enji stared in shock at the scene before you, the scene seemed to be out of a horror movie, a nightmare the the silence was deafening, till a scream of pain erupted from Natsou, followed by Shoto, and Fuyumi, your tears just falling silently "Rei... What the hell" you looked at the doctor grabbing him by the collar "what the hell happened here!" you glared at him, it wasn't a question, it was a a demand for and answer "she... She did that" he fearfully admitted "what?" "the hell are you talking about?" as he now got attacked by the questions of everybody each yelling and screaming and demanding answers "I don't know... We found her like that in the morning, she seemed to have some sort of psyche attack, it's undetectable, it happens to a lot of people from different ages, and lives and jobs, she destroyed everything around her then did this" he fearfully let out "destroyed everything? That must have made a lot of noise, why did nobody check on her?" Endeavor asked glaring at him "I don't know, I wasn't here at night" "then who was" Inferno asked glaring at him "I don't know.. I don't know" "there isn't a single drop of blood in some of the scattered things, the ones further away from her, the destruction was done before she bled, meaning if you Checked the commotion you'd have caught her before she did anything" Inferno stated, while that increased the chaos, it wouldn't change anything, she's gone.

At the funeral, a lot of tears were shed, a lot of pain and anguish, a lot of perfect acting, a lot of comfort for the hurting friend, that lost her new friend, a lot of comfort from her beloved.

If only, if only on that day (F/N) told you what she found, then Rei would have lived, then these kids would have been yours, if only she spoke, then she wouldn't have been in hell with Rei.

FLASHBACK

"(Y/N)... Come on stop..." your friend struggled, "then tell me, what're you hiding" you said, holding her tightly "I'm not hiding anything" she said struggling to get away, your quirk was way more superior to her air manipulation, she could only manipulate small portions, while your demon quirk did a lot, "yes you are" you said, using your quirk you put her in a trance, "confess" "It was my fault the dog got out, I left the door open" "dumb bitch, Kouen will kill you" "yeah, but I'm more scared of you, you'll kill me of you find out" you narrowed your eyes at her "if I find out what?" "that I didn't tell you... About Todoroki" you looked at her now curious and angry "what about him? (F/N)" fear filled her eyes "that he he came here" "WHAT?" you see in shock "the hell did you do? Why did you never tell me?" "because he left, he saw you with Kouen, he saw you with the baby, I think he thought it isn't his and that you moved on so he left, when I went out to check that flare of light, I found ashes, all over the snow, I found a single half burned red rose, so I hid it it, I hid it all, I knew you'll run after him, I knew you'll fight and that he'll break your heart again I couldn't" she said crying, you looked at her with anger and hate "so he came here! Before he moved on, before he married and you didn't tell me, that's why he started avoiding me so much, he thinks I moved on from him, now he's married, and has two kids, my chance is gone.. Because of YOU" you yelled in anger releasing your control "please I was just trying to help-" "silence!.... 7 years! 7 years I could have had him! 7 years we would have lived together! And for more years to come! You're a fucking whore! What were you jealous of me? For having a lover? While nobody even looked at you?" you yelled "that isn't it! I was just" "just what? Worried about me? I've always fought with him, that's how we always have been, you tried using your brain, that's the problem (F/N) you're a stupid bitch who ruined everything!" your friend cried "I just tried to help" she got up to leave but froze, your control on her again "now where do you think you're going?" you looked at her smiling maniacally "we're not done here"... 5 months.... 5 months you tortured her, 5 months for the 7 years she took away from you, you would have went longer, but she was too weak, and died.

If only

If only, you didn't try to play the hero, General studies trash 'if only you trusted my strength and told me what happened... Then we wouldn't have gone through that'

END FLASHBACK

Everybody went home that day, depressed, questioning what happened to her all of a sudden, the havens are really cruel huh... They had to take such a delicate loving woman in such a cruel way, as each one of them ran to their lovers for comfort, one woman was in no need of comfort, for she was a demon in human disques.

TIMESKIP

This is after the Endeavor hero agency arc, after the Ending attack.

Man you felt tired, it's like you were frozen but it was quit the opposite, you layed on the ground coughing as blue flames surrounded you "how sad... Hero" you heard the teasing voice of Dabi "you really are weak.... Don't deserve your rank at all" he said pinning you down sitting on top of you to prevent your movements, "look at you.. So pathetic" "if you're gonna kill me then do it already, a hundred other heroes will take my place, and bring you down" you grunted and coughed out blood, Dabi looked at you shocked for a second then laughed maniacally "man that is good... That is good (H/N) they usually, beg for their lives by now.. But no actually, I'm not doing this to stop the heroes.. I'm doing this to hurt him" he grinned you looked at him shocked "what?" "well killing you will hurt Endeavor badly, I'd have gone after the one that looks like him but it's harder to fight fire with fire I have other plans for her anyway I need her alive for them.... oh? Don't tell me you don't know? Well I'll explain to you, before you die you have the right to know anyway.... " ya'll insert his reveal and the message that was broadcasted by the hacker guy it's too long to type and this is too long already.

" so... As you can see here... Dear beloved woman of my father killing you will hurt him, and her, her flames of revenge will burn bright, as she tries to kill her mother's killer, would she have the heart to kill her dear brother? Would dear dad let her? Would he stop her? Or would he join her? Would his perfect creation Shoto take his brother's side? Or would he take the side of a half sister he just knew and a father that he despises, what about Natsou... And Fuyumi too... Oh and Okasan you know it's wormg to try and steal a married man? Well I'm not one to judge...hahaha.. A lot of possibilities here, too sad you won't live to see them" as he spoke he started burning, stronger and stronger, by the time he was done it was excruciating, "you're... wrong" you coughed "huh?" "you're wrong Touya" you smiled at him, a maniacal smile rivaling his own, paralyzing him... "What the hell is wrong with that woman? She's insane" "you made a big mistake Touya~" you sang his name, he froze 'the hell?' "what the hell are you talking about? Why aren't you screaming in pain? Why aren't you dying!" "hahaha hahaha the thing is... You just threatened my darling, and I just..... Can't let you live to do any of that haha haha" you laughed pushed him off, fear crawled up his back, paralyzing him, as you walked closer to him, the flames burning your flesh you just grinned at him "wh... What are you!" "me?... I'm the demon dero my dear... What exactly did you think demon hero meant?" he leaned down towards him "those who fought me, and were worthy, got to see it, my other form" you laughed looking at the scared Dabi "don't worry it's not that baad~ my beloved Enji saw it before, he said it's not scary" you grinned as your form shifted, into a much taller creature, it was covered in shadows, eyes glowing red, sharp massive teeth glowing "demons are made of fire Touya~ we don't burn in fire, we strive in it, we crave it!"

Dabi stared at the demon in fear as the demon reached its claws for him, just before he was grabbed, a portal opened suclimg him in, the demon screamed in anger, losing its Prey, its OK.. However... It'll get its chance again someday.

After All

All Is Fair In Love And War

Right?

"...... After All Touya is such a beautiful name~" Dabi or Touya sang as he danced on top of Machia "come dance with your son in hell Endeavor"

.

.

.

"... I really enjoyed what I did to Hawks actually... It was very satisfying"

.

.

.

Meanwhile the broadcast explained everything, including the illegitimate child of Endeavor, and the scandal with Endeavor and (H/N)

As Enji just froze, and Shoto fought, Kouen was torn between her revenge and her brother, her family... They wouldn't want her to kill Touya.

As the battle progressed she made up her mind, she'll get revenge, for Her lover, he hurt Hawks, he destroyed his quirk, he tarnished his image, he nearly killed him, he put him in pain and suffering.

It wasn't fair, what happened to him, but she'll fix it. She'll kill Dabi for him.

After All

All Is Fair In Love And War.

END ?

DAMN FINALLY!

(I don't specify a gem as you can choose your fave as I prefer rubies due to their intense red color... With a black band instead of silver.. Introducimg my dream ring lmao... Also in Japan proposals aren't the same as in US and other similar countries but this was a more obvious way of showing the events)

[isuckatwritingmyfriends]

The 5 times Eddie doesn't know Buck speaks spanish +1 he finds out. Be gentle,, I used google translate lmao

1.

"Ni siquiera ves lo que me haces, ¿verdad?"

Buck's eyes are startled up from his phone, lifting to meet Eddie's where he was sitting next to him on the couch, hand rubbing soothing circles into his bad leg. Buck tilts his head, confused, and that's where Eddie makes a fatal mistake.

He laughs softly, "You'll ruin your eyes, staring at that thing so intensely."

Buck, still confused, opens his mouth to ask, but the bell rings and Eddie is gently placing his leg down to rush off to the trucks. He has no choice but to follow.

Sitting across from his best friend, Buck tries to think back on every interaction they've had since they met and- holy shit. Eddie doesn't know I speak spanish.

The call was relatively easy, but the shift had been long nonetheless and when they get back to the fire house, Buck's too distracted to remember to ask Eddie about what he said, before he's off to the showers. And why he lied about what it meant, he thinks. He narrows his eyes down at his boots, it's not like it was anything bad. Why lie?

And Buck gets close, so close to threading a very important needle when Eddie clangs his locker shut. "We'll see you for movie night tomorrow?" he asks, almost to the door already. Buck, mind elsewhere, nods distractedly at him. And he's gone, running off to pick up Christopher on time.

2.

Buck tells Maddie. Because of fucking course he doesn't think about the consequences of his actions. She grins at him, and immediately he knows he's made a mistake. "Oh? What do you do to him, Buck?"

He groans and tries to shove his hand in her face. "Stop, it's not like that." She gives him a flat look. He sighs. "Its not that I don't want it to be, you know that, I just don't want to mess it up with my feelings."

"Really though? What if he feels the same?"

"What if he doesn't?" Buck looks down at his plate, pushing his food around with his fork. "I can't risk losing him and Christopher on a what if."

Maddie frowns at him, but doesn't push much harder. "Well, you're going to tell him you speak spanish then?"

Buck shrugs, "I mean, yeah. I just don't get why he'd hide something so simple."

Maddie looks at him, thoroughly unimpressed, but before she has the chance to tell him that he's the smartest idiot she's ever met, his eyes catch the time on his phone. "Oh shit," he grabs his jacket and keys, fumbling around the table to kiss her cheek. "I love you, I'm gonna be late to movie night!"

"Bye, I love-" The door slams and she hears his quick steps fade down the hall. With a small smile, she pulls out her phone. Chimney's gonna love this.

--

Buck makes it barely on time, maybe speeding a bit through the less busy roads, but no one can prove it. He arrives two minutes before 7, bustling through the door without knocking.

He manages to close the door behind him before he catches an armful of Christopher. "You're here!" he shouts.

Buck grins down at him, lifting him for a squeeze and a twirl. "And I wasn't even late!"

Eddie walks out of the kitchen, smiling, "Just barely. Are your tires smoking?"

Buck sticks his tongue out in response.

Eddie's eye roll is instant, "¿Cómo estoy enamorado de un hombre tan inmaduro?"

Buck fumbles, almost dropping Christopher. He plays it off by setting the kid down, and asking "What'd you pick for a movie?"

Christopher, oblivious to Buck's small heart attack, happily takes his hand and leads him to the living room, rambling about how The Little Mermaid never gets old.

"Hey, how about you help me get the popcorn and drinks, buddy?" Christopher obliges, moving for the kitchen and releasing Buck. Eddie watches him until he's out of earshot, then turns to Buck. "Was that your leg? Is it bothering you any?"

Buck shakes his head, face turning red. "No it's just-" you literally just told me you love me, I think I'm allowed to freak the fuck out!

"It's okay, you go sit down and we'll be out in a sec."

Then Buck is left staring after his best friend, some weird feelings clenching in his chest.

3.

"HE SAID WHAT?!"

Buck slaps a hand over his sister's mouth. "Shut the fuck up! He'll hear you!"

Both pause and lean to look into the living room of Buck's apartment where Eddie and Chimney are aggressively mashing buttons on controllers. Chimeny looks over and smirks. Eddie glances over with a soft smile aimed at them. Buck waves.

He turns back to Maddie, still smiling, but frowns when he sees her face. "Stop it."

"I didn't say anything." She's grinning though, and Buck has been on the receiving end of that grin too many times to be so naive.

"Leave it."

Maddie looks like she's going to burst, so he takes her arm and pulls her over to his front door. "Oh was it so cute when you told him? Was he embarrassed?"

Buck mumbled something under his breath.

"What was that?"

He shot a quick glance back towards the couch, letting him have a moment of mourning for his poor game before turning back. "I didn't tell him."

Maddie's eyes went wide, her mouth opening to presumably start shouting at him, but cuts herself off with a garbled noise. She closes her eyes and takes a deep breath, trying to compose herself. Buck braces himself. "So you're going to stand there and tell me that he told you, to your face, that he loves you-"

"More implied I think."

She slaps his arm and he winces. "Boy if we were alone, I swear to god!" she whisper-shouts. "Are you trying to ruin your friendship?"

"That's exactly what I'm trying to avoid!"

"How is this avoiding anything but your feelings?"

"Because he doesn't know I understand what he's saying!" Maddie gives him her best were-you-not-just-paying-attention-to-the-whole-ass-conversation-we-just-had look. It's very good. She's had a lot of practice. Buck pinches the bridge of his nose and tries to explain himself better. "He isn't comfortable enough to tell me when he thinks I'll know what he's saying. And it's different, he has a kid to think about. And I respect whatever choice he makes."

Maddie puts her hands on his shoulders. "You need to tell him. The fallout will be much worse if you let it continue." She smiles reassuringly at him, then walks back to their drinks on the counter.

--

It's after Maddie and Chimney have gone home for the night that Buck and Eddie have a few more drinks and chat. Eddie's talking about the sleepover Chris is at tonight while Buck zones in and out. How does one even begin to explain the thought process that lead him to keeping this secret? Oh god, he thinks, this is gonna be one of those little white lies that snowballs until I have to take it to my grave-

Fingers snap in front of his face, his eyes managing to focus on the smile on Eddie's face as he looks at him. "You okay?"

This is it. This is when you tell him you speak spanish. Buck opens his mouth, "Um actually," he pauses. Eddie looks at him, expectantly. "Uh, yeah, just tired." Damnit.

"We can turn in for the night," he suggests.

Buck nods, "Wanna spend the night? I've got clothes you could use?" NO. Absolutely not. Because you will share a bed and he will be wearing your clothes and you are a serial cuddler. So NO.

Eddie's smile grows, "I'm more concerned about how you hog the blankets."

Buck gasps in mock offense, shoving at him playfully. "I do not!"

Eddie just laughs.

Fuck. I'm so screwed. He just doesn't realize how screwed until they're laying in his bed, Eddie sprawled out on his stomach and Buck on his back, every muscle coiled tight. It's quiet for a while, long enough that Buck thinks he might have drifted off, but he shifts and his voice comes muffled from the pillows. "I can actually hear you thinking. Please sleep."

Buck rolls his eyes. Jokes on you, I'm not thinking, I'm panicking.

Eddie moves again and now he's looking at Buck. "Is it your leg?"

His heart twists in his chest and he shakes his head. "It's nothing. Probably you rolling around so much."

Eddie's quiet, so Buck turns his head to look. "Podría acostumbrarme a esta vista."

Buck's eyes widen. Then he sees a moment of small panic where Eddie thinks 'what if-?' But it's gone as soon as it arrives. "Just enjoying the blankets while I still can."

He huffs, but it's lighter between them and Buck starts to drift off.

4.

When they wake up, Buck finds he has taken another victim. Eddie had rolled onto his back sometime while they were asleep, and had Buck tucked in close, wrapped around him. Buck doesn't immediately panic because it feels too right. But when he wakes up more, he knows he should move before Eddie wakes up.

Buck tries to be subtle, slowly pulling his limbs back to himself, trying not to wake Eddie in the process. Except when he looks up, Eddie is watching him with a small smile. Buck's heart roundhouse kicks his ribcage and he let's out a startled "Oh."

Eddie just laughs, "Eres tan hermoso."

Buck's mouth falls open, but he doesn't say anything as Eddie extricates himself from Buck's grasp and starts for the stairs. "I'll make breakfast."

Once he's out of sight, Buck throws himself back on the mattress, slapping a hand over his eyes. "Fuck me."

--

He doesn't want to tell Maddie. Partly because she'll lose her shit, but mostly because he knows she's right. He's waited too long already, if Eddie finds out- When. When Eddie finds out. I can't keep this up forever.- he's probably going to be mad.

Buck ends up telling her. Obviously. She has the same reaction he thought she would. "He called you beautiful and said he wants to fall asleep to you?!"

Buck winces and holds the phone away from his ear for a moment. "Uh, basically I guess that was the gist of it."

"THE GIST?!" Buck grimaces, brings one hand up to scrub his face. "And you still didn't tell him?!"

Buck sighs, because he knows, okay? He really does, but he's scared too. "Mads I-"

Her voice is softer. "Buck, I know you're nervous. But you've said it before, you're basically family. Anyone could look at the two of you and Christopher and see how in love you are, see how much you'd do anything for them."

"Yeah but not Eddie." Bucks spins in his chair, he's tired and doesn't know what he's going to do. "If everyone can see how much I love him too, why can't he? Why doesn't he tell me all this? Why does he only say it when he thinks I don't understand?" Maddie sighs, but Buck continues. "I have to assume there's more here than I can see. If he doesn't want me to know, then I don't."

Maddie's quiet for a minute, just the sound of her breathing comes over the phone. Her voice is gentle when she says, "What happens when he finds out?"

Buck kinda just wants to cry. "I don't know, Mads. I don't know."

5.

Buck and Christopher are playing with legos in the living room. Well, Buck is playing, Christopher is actually building something. He's talking about his day at school and that he's excited for the weekend because he gets to see the rest of his family. Buck's listening attentively, asking questions where it matters and nodding along, until he hears a snippet of what Eddie is saying.

The other man is pacing back and forth behind the couch, on the phone with his family in El Paso. They're talking about the barbeque this weekend, presumably what Chris meant when he talked about being excited to see his family. But I'm not supposed to know that.

He's tense when he stops at the farther end of the couch, talking quickly into the phone. "-él debería poder venir, prácticamente está criando a Christopher conmigo." A pause. "No es justo. ¿Has hablado con Abuela?" He's quiet for a few minutes, then, "Christopher ama él. Lo amo él. Él viene, lo quiero allí, y eso es todo."

Eddie hangs up the phone. With his back still to the boys, he lifts his hand to rub his face with a sigh. When he turns around, he meets Buck's gaze. Okay? he mouths. Eddie nods back, and finally smiles. "I'll go grab some snacks, then we can watch some tv?" Buck grins and Christopher celebrates.

It isn't until after they put Christopher to bed and are sitting together on the couch that Eddie tells him about the barbeque.

"I want you to come. I mean," he scratches the back of his neck. "If you want to come, I would like you to."

"Is that what the phone call was about?"

Eddie gives him a long look and Buck thinks, this is when he realizes. But he doesn't, just sighs and says, "Yeah. Some of my cousins are... well, I'll just say difficult. My parents thought it would be best if it was just Christopher and I, but I told them that we want you to go."

Buck is, well, he's- I'm fucked. I love them. Eddie mistakes his silence. "No pressure though," he laughs.

Buck smiles and nods. "Yes. Yeah, I would love to go."

Eddie's smile lights up his face. "Good, cool, that sounds- uh good."

Buck just smiles back.

+1

What Eddie failed to mention when he told Buck about his cousins was that when he said 'difficult' he really meant 'homophobic'. And just as Maddie predicted, it was getting harder to hide that he knew Spanish. Curse her and her intelligence. Luckily, most of the family were happy to see Eddie and Christopher. And, if Buck was feeling less than modest, most of them loved him.

It started out great: playing with the kids until they all tired him out, eating around a huge table filled with family, chatting around. Buck was finding out many blackmail-worthy stories of Eddie when he was a teenager. With each new piece of information, he had to restrain himself from calling the team and telling them everything.

Buck was also finding out that almost everyone in the family thought they were together. Discreetly of course, they let most of it slip in Spanish, so they probably figured he didn't know they were talking about him. Unfortunately for Eddie, he talked about them all the time, and now Buck knew.

After the initial wave of guilt subsided, Buck made a plan. He went to the kitchen to grab Eddie and him another drink. I'm going to tell Eddie when we get back home. Buck was too busy thinking about how to break it to him, when two of the 'difficult' cousins walked into the kitchen behind him. He didn't notice at first, not until they started shit talking in Spanish.

"Es como él no respeta a esta familia." Buck doesn't turn. He's not supposed to understand what they're saying. Calm down. Leave it alone.

"¡Lo sé! ¿No entienden lo asqueroso que es ver eso?" Wow, that was incredibly offensive. He pushes around a few cans, looking for the drinks they had earlier.

"¡Y ahora Christopher está expuesto a eso!" Buck's hand tightens on a glass. Breathe. Don't say anything you'll regret later. It's not your place.

"No me sorprendería que juguete chico de Eddie corrompa al pobre niño."

Buck stands abruptly, smacking his head off the top of the fridge in his haste. His knuckles are white and he has to force himself to turn and smile. "Found it," he tries to make his voice light. With forced casualty, he walks past them to the counter for the bottle opener.

"Es una pena, él podría haber resultado genial." They continued, or more accurately, tried to continue.

Buck spun on them in an instant. "I know it's not my place to say anything to you, but the two of you are cruel and I genuinely don't know how you come from such a kind and supportive family." The women stood there stunned. "What goes on between me and Eddie is none of your business. And Christopher is growing up to be a kind and caring person. If he turns out to be even half the man Eddie is, he'd still be three times better than you." Buck sucked in a breath and crossed his arms over his chest.

"I think it's time you leave." The voice came from behind Buck. He felt his blood run cold when he heard it. He'd know that voice anywhere.

Buck turned to see Eddie standing in the doorway, arms also crossed, expression hard. He watched his cousins walk past him, embarrassment clear in the way they couldn't meet his eyes. He watched until they made it all they way down the hall and back out to the yard.

As soon as Eddie turned back to him, Buck asked, "How much of that did you hear?"

Eddie didn't uncross his arms, expression now cautious and confused. "You know Spanish."

It wasn't a question. Buck nodded anyway. "I know I said things I probably shouldn't have, but when they started talking about Chris I- I don't even know. I just got so mad because you and him are the best people in the world and-"

"What you said is not the problem," Eddie interrupted. Fuck. He was hoping he wouldn't notice. "Why didn't you tell me?" His expression cracked into one of hurt. Buck's heart twisted. "The things I've said- oh my god, Buck, have you known the whole time?!"

A nod.

Eddie ran a hand through his hair, he looked terrified. "Was this a joke to you? See how much I'd say so you could laugh about it later?" Buck tried to intervene, but Eddie seemed to realize more. "Oh my god, I told you I love you. I told my family and- oh my god you were sitting right there!" He slapped his hands to his face. "Everything my family has said, I can't-"

Buck jumped forward, grabbing Eddie's hands in his. "No, no! It wasn't a joke to me! I'd never- I wouldn't- I could never have made this a joke."

Eddie shook his head, but didn't pull his hands away. "Then why?"

Buck ran a hand through his hair, bringing it down to rub his face before grabbing Eddie's hands again. "You have to understand, I tried to tell you. I thought you knew and then the thing you said on the couch made me realize you didn't. Then I told Maddie and she kept telling me to tell you but-" he let out a sigh. "It was just scary, okay? I didn't want to lose what we had, I didn't want to lost Christopher."

"Buck," Eddie's voice was softer. "I literally told you that I love you. How would you making a move ruin anything?"

Buck tried his best unimpressed look. "You only said those things when you thought I didn't understand. I just thought, maybe you needed time. That you'd tell me when you were ready."

"Oh my god. You're an idiot. I'm an idiot. How do we ever get anything done being so stupid?"

Buck laughed quietly. "That's not nice to say when we just had this really emotional moment."

Eddie just rolled his eyes before pulling Buck for a kiss. When he pulled back, he was grinning. "We can't tell the team about this. We'll never know peace."

Buck let his head fall on Eddie's shoulder. "I told Maddie. They definitely already know."

---------

Here are the translations in case y'all were wondering...(if they're not right, blame google, I did my best lol)

Ni siquiera ves lo que me haces, ¿verdad?- (You don't even see what you do to me, do you?)

¿Cómo estoy enamorado de un hombre tan inmaduro?- (How am I in love with such an immature man?)

Podría acostumbrarme a esta vista.- (I could get used to this sight)

Eres tan hermoso.- (You are so handsome)

-él debería poder venir, prácticamente está criando a Christopher conmigo.- (-he should be able to come, he's practically raising Christopher with me.)

No es justo. ¿Has hablado con Abuela?- (That's not fair. Have you talked to Abuela?)

Christopher ama él. Lo amo él. Él viene, lo quiero allí, y eso es todo.- (Christopher loves him. I love him. He comes, I want him there, and that's it.)

Es como él no respeta a esta familia.- (It's like he doesn't respect this family.)

¡Lo sé! ¿No entienden lo asqueroso que es ver eso?- (I know! Don't you understand how gross it is to see that?)

¡Y ahora Christopher está expuesto a eso!- (And now Christopher is exposed to it!)

No me sorprendería que juguete chico de Eddie corrompa al pobre niño.- (I wouldn't be surprised if Eddie's boy toy corrupts the poor boy.)