#anyways. im so pissed off i can't even think abt work

[swankpalanquin]

i hope the lady at the transportation services office is getting paid extra to be condescending, jesus fucking christ

[unproduciblesmackdown]

other day i was like "yeah virtually all my dreams are defined by anxiety / every goal/hope being Thwarted, but at least i never really have nightmares" but it's like well what's the baseline what's the reaction, b/c i also then have to be like "but does it count if yeah i had a fairly typical dream sequence that was like, 'uh oh, i'm on The Horrors Street and the monster is probably after me, which i'm staving off by hand but it's kind of difficult b/c it can dissolve its own corporeal form in a somewhat gory manner as it tries to gnash at My corporeal form' but i was like 'i mean this is some bullshit but typical tuesday' level reaction so it wasn't a big deal?" like i don't even know when In Real Life it's also typical to have stress reactions like, just now going "smh obviously this sucks. i know i'm stressed. i know this is unpleasant bullshit & somewhat alarming. but typical tuesday (on a thursday)" and only due to noting some physical tremors is it like oh right i guess i'm also having an adrenal response. i tend to bring the like "smoke grenade! disassociation!!" response to a dream in that i can kind of Respond to it by withdrawing / distancing myself, sometimes even like [pushing things into being: as though it's a video game. pausing, exiting, etc] & like it's My psyche & it's brief sequences melding into each other anyways so okay, we'll pivot. other times it's just like yeah this is bullshit but shrug guess we're doing this, until it pivots anyways. Outliers are usually like, "just had an unpleasant Worldwide Peril scenario premise :/" or that like yeah once in a blue moon like sometime the past year my dream was so stressful i woke myself up b/c often when Urgently Confronted w/ Alarming Dream enemy i launch into fight mode & that one was just so [!!!] >:((( that it pushed the urgency into "oh shit, wake up maybe??" response levels. get their ass!! but mostly it's like "ugh i'm at this Job & im not sure what i'm doing, didn't get enough training for this. thinking about getting food but can i afford it" like yeah thee horrors but not as urgent. but then sometimes it's urgent or at least threatening & it's still like literally zzz / well this isn't ideal clearly but it doesn't even occur to me like Do i have nightmares i just shrug off? idek man. call that nightmarinating

[love-toxin]

ellie we literally can't talk abt pokemon without talking about miss rika,, i love her

OK BUT IM GLAD U SAID SMTHN CAUSE I'M OBSESSED LOWKEY.. .......WHO GAVE HER THE RIGHT TO LOOK THIS GOOD......

Like. Effortlessly cool. Canon nickname-giver. I was going buckwild during her battle and I'm not even sorry about it. I could NOT stop thinking very unwholesome thoughts during her interview segment either......like......you can't put a woman in a suit at a desk across from me and not expect me to lose my damn MIND!!! I wanna piss her off just so she makes me pay for it, and dearly. I'M GONNA GO OFF UNDER THIS CUT AND I CANNOT BE STOPPED!!!

Bear with me on this train of thought here: imagine being a repeat challenger of the Championship Challenge. Your pokemon aren't bad (you don't think, anyways) and you've trained for hours and days on end to try and beat the Elite League, to the point of even begging the gym leaders for rematches to try and improve your skill or pick up some tip you didn't notice before. But without fail, every single time you try, you never end up getting past Rika--the first of the Elite Four, the easiest one to beat, is somehow so hard of a challenge that you stay awake at night wracking your brain for some strategy to beat her. Even worse is that you're older than half the kids that challenge the whole circuit, and you hate the feeling of all these ten year olds beating out your grown adult ass as they fly by each challenge while you're left crawling.

You can't just build a whole new team to counter her alone, or else you'll just get crushed by the others. You can't build a new team period unless you wanna put off claiming that Champion title until you're geriatric, so you're kinda screwed from both angles. And the worst part? The main reason why you keep failing is because every time you get a new strategy--have your pokemon learn new moves, train them up, swap out one pokemon for another--she somehow one ups you the next time you go to challenge her again. Like she has some kind of insane bug planted in your cellphone or something where she can hear everything you say, because how in the world does she keep coming up with new counters every time you try? Sometimes she even has new pokemon altogether, which from the accounts of other people who have tried it, is almost unheard of for the Elite Four to switch up their teams so often. Or at all!

The answer comes when you finally hit a wall. You're sure you've come up with the best counter to her moves, that your pokemon are all well-equipped to withstand whatever she decides to throw at you this time--and despite all that, you lose again. Badly, this time.

So for the first time, you ask her outright. How do you keep beating me? And although she puts on that lazy tone as she chuckles back "You just aren't paying enough attention, sweetheart" when she's met with a cold stare, her lips finally seem to loosen as she flashes you a smirk.

She admits that she likes watching you squirm. She saw that look on your face the first time--the only time she's legitimately beat you--and she couldn't believe how satisfying it was. Maybe she just doesn't best nearly as many trainers as her tougher counterparts, but something about the slump of your particular shoulders and the pout on your perfect lips is the reason why she refuses to budge and let you slip by. Really, it's not as sinister of a reason that you expected--she just made very careful decisions about each change she made, and followed your trail of logic to make sure she stayed one step ahead of you, and you in particular. In fact, there's probably been more people than ever that have gotten past her since she first battled you, since she's paid all her attention to blocking you alone. And as shocking as it is to hear her freely admit that, you still have some residual frustration from being bested again that you can only work up the smallest, crudest words as an answer.

"You're mean." You huff, pouting once more and shoving your arms across your chest. You'd stomp your foot if you didn't know she'd tease you for it, cause you'd look like even more of a petulant child than you already do, but you really are that mad. Isn't that against League rules, or something?!

"Poor baby...I'd feel worse if you didn't look so cute, honestly. My bad, bunny." Nooooo, no, you can not fold under that cheesy smile and the softness twinging that nickname. She will not, you repeat, not use those charming good looks and that undeniable tension you've felt between you two to seduce you....even though you've kinda dreamed of that. You didn't exactly spend all those restless nights just thinking about her battling style, after all...."You want Rika to make you feel better, honey bunny?"

You're not even sure how she got so close, how her hand is on your arm now, stroking her leather-clad fingers up and down your skin while she maneuvers herself to slide in behind you. She's still gentle, careful, touch light enough that you could brush it off if you wanted--but you instead find yourself slowly leaning into it, nuzzling into her lips as she presses kisses to your temple and coos at your sweetness, how you feel so soft and warm against her. Angelic, more like, you're as precious as an angel aren't you? You hate that you squirm at that compliment, looking up towards the ceiling to try and wipe that giddy, small smile that's creeping across your lips away. It doesn't hold though, you can't keep the charade up forever--eventually you're wiggling a little more into her, teasing at the possibility of her getting a little more unprofessional than she already has been in secret. And finally, you get what you want out of it. You get her low, smooth voice in your ear, a slight rasp to her last few words as she grips your hips hard enough to hear the leather stretch.

"I'll take my gloves off for this 'match', kay? And let's find somewhere a little more private....I think you'll enjoy it more if you can go all out, honey."

[1eos]

so back in December our office was transitioning to a new program and there were lots of issues with it and it was super frustrating. I had been working overtime to get my stuff done while dealing with it all and on our weekly meeting, my manager put the program discussion on the meeting agenda. I brought up one of my concerns and then she caught an attitude talking about "I need screenshots" (even tho that wasn't possible with my particular problem lol) so I ended up snapping back at her. I said "I can't do all that when I already have a million things to do"

but it doesn't seem that way for you at work! so why is your manager on a power trip? do you think if you did snap at her or something she would get the hint and back off or would she just be even worse 😭

anyway sorry for my rant but I lowkey wanna know if I was in the wrong. I hope you find something better very soon!!!

you def weren't in the wrong. a lot of middle managers have nothing to live for but the power they lord over everyone else and it isnt until u show them u got the dog in them they stand down! ive snapped at my manager twice bc she kept trying to insist i was wrong and both times she retaliated by combing over everything w a fine tooth comb to find something to lord over me 😭 and when i go days w perfect performance i can literally see her get frustrated that she doesn't have a convenient out to vent her irrational obsession w me. so im gonna have to be on my ps and qs when i clock her stupid ass in this email lmaoooooooo

and don't apologize for the rant!!! i complain abt work all the fucking time now so i believe listening to other ppl rant abt work is how i can pay it forward lollllll bc my friends n family deal w so much. oh and ive been keeping this to myself until it became a sure thing but i actually got offered another job 🤓 will be going to do some onboarding stuff next week actually. its been so hard to not jump the gun and just get up and walk out every time she piss me off but 🧎🏾‍♀️ i can't be reckless until this new job is locked in

[cherubinym]

im curious abt how you interpret eden and the creation sisters, considering we hardly know of those four at all! (by the way i really loved your contributions towards spacea and tiempas redesigns, that art looks really nice :D). what are their personalities like?

First of all thank u qvq

I really like designing,,, and for fun facts the original concept designs were actually just redraws of fanart I did for them like a couple years back. At first anyway jhbsjbhsbjhsj

---

Eden first, since they're rather simple.

In the Timebreak rp scene? There's a severe Lack of Kieran and Clear (we've had players of them before but they've disappeared or gone inactive/haven't been involved in the main au.)

How it goes is; they've managed to 'recreate' well- at least an Eden lookalike. Data and such wise, this Eden basically has to start from scratch with collection, save for whatever was still in the system. "Memories" for them are limited. Save for a friend's OC whom is also a MysFigure.

They're very friendly, in an unnerving way. They have such a peppy and happy attitude to the point where some can say it feels unnatural. Pokemon especially with good intiuition; (ex. Delpha), can see through this facade.

Until they can 'recreate' their partners, they're basically forced to solo-handle a lot of the MF main story stuff. Very charismatic, very good at manipulation.

Their disguise is as a Professor at Axis High, in which they use their position to monitor the students and alumni that are league leaders + have secure access to the Axis High Labs and Platinum component.

... The Puppet Master thing in this AU seems very complicated and probably would have its own post if anything jbhsjbhsbhjsbj.

They prefer to get literally any work or situation done with any means But fighting. The more compliant the person they need is, the easier it is. The less risk taken, the better.

(Sylveon, Lucario-Mega, Leavanny*, Blacephalon, Crobat, Silvally-???)

---

Now the Creation Sisters--- WELL. A lot of their (Spacea and Tiempa's) stuff is referenced from canon events, of course. But I also took a bite out of the Wispy Ruins Chest Quest + Lost Castle Lore and used THAT in a bunch of stuff.

Griselda is still a worm, just as in canon. That much is fair lol. Unlike her sisters, she can't really turn "human" again yet, but I do have a human design for her (based off her ingame sprites.)

The key difference here is that she is still PRESENT with Geara past Valor-- in her own way anyways. She's still doing whatever the fuck she wants. But this makes things... hm. Fun I suppose. She purposely interferes with stuff Spacea and Tiempa try to do-- mostly out of spite. She does a lot of things out of Spite, actually. Like adopting a new family because her old ones poisoned her. Normal Thursday, you know.

Speaking of that, she has her own Pokemon team... even though she's one herself. Her Mega is a Gengar, which is the evolved form of the Gastly from the Wispy Ruins Chest Quest, whom is her daughter who was turned into a Pokemon as punishment.

( GMega Gengar, Mimikyu, [GIRATINA], Beheeyem-Crest, Dusknoir-Crest, Spiritomb-Crest, Dragapult (LAUNCH THE CHILDREN.))

So yeah. She's still very snappy, even towards those she "seems" more compassionate about. On the Geara part, you're best bet is asking Geara's mun for that side of the story <3

... Now considering this place is called TIMEbreak, Tiempa has her hands full with Many things. The Stormchasers are certainly still a thing, and oh boy is shit going to go down later. We're still in like, late Chapter 9, or early Chapter 10 time wise I think. Their time will come soon.

Yeah, Spacea still exists too. Same vein of stuff. Those two pretty much have the same personalities as ingame, except now they're more pissed off with how much stuff has been going off the rails.

Tiempa is the quiet mean one. Spacea is the loud mean one. What more can I say without spoiling PLANS

(Chat they still don't know Jenner is alive again-)

[aitian]

Wed 8/1/24 1:32 am

meant to write last week but i have been procrastinating. its making me feel rly bad. i have some stuff i need to send to professors weeks ago & its feeling rly burdensome.

anyway.

fucked a dude two weeks ago. he had a big dick & it was cute to feel the wet spot he made on his underwear from kissing me. thinking recently that im so greedy for intimacy.. not just from someone im fucking but from everyone who interacts with me. even with acquaintances, i want to understand each other deeply & care for one another. it's stupid. makes me feel dumb & strange. other ppl r just existing according to environmental circumstances, but im always rejecting that & digging out intense ways to give & receive.

i flew back from visiting emmy in nj on sunday evening, 7/14. got to the airport 2 hrs early & got so nervous waiting & waiting. the boarding time kept getting pushed back every half hour. i got anxious bc it meant that i would miss the last bus from denver to boulder. ended up arguing w united staff & getting on the standby list for another flight. i was 6th & after boarding all the passnegers, they called 5 ppl to go board the plane. pissed. then they came out & called whoever was next, & i knew it was me but this older couple indidted that they were next. the lady was behind me when i went to the counter & she knew it too, she argued that we were there at the same time (bullshit.). there was only one seat left anyway.. her husband wanted to get on without her, and she stopped him, insisting that they get on the same flight. anyway i board, & they can't figure out which is the last empty seat. after holding me by the door for 10 mins, they tell me 10B (nice, close to the front). when i get on i see the most annoying & rude guy from my flight sitting into the seat, & a flight attendant yelling that seat 36E is open. i knew he was seated in 36E but was taking my seat instead. whatever. i walk to the back of the plane & sit down.

when i sit down, i call mom & tell her i finally got on a plane, & complain abt the seat i got in the back of the plane next to the toilet & someone who smells bad. the annoying gate staff come back to find me after 10 more mins & ask why im not in 10B, i say someone else was sitting there & they leave. finally, we take off.

a chinese dude is next to me in the window seat, & he starts chatting me up. says he's going to boulder for work, & he also had a terrible day of delayed flights that ended up moving him to this flight. rly weird fate to end up sitting together. he works in biotech & lives in boston. i ask how he's getting to boulder, & he says he has a rental car. he seems like an honest dude, so i go ahead & ask him for a ride.

we end up talking for the whole flight. we talk abt school & work.. he grew up in queens, studied chemistry for his phd & works in pharmaceuticals. i tell him abt my work, abt lion dancing, & mention my partner. he tells me he's bi, & his gf is too. & that im cute, by the way. tells me that he has an open relationship, & wants to fool around if im free this week. i tell him i'll think about it. i ask him a lot of stuff abt his relationship bc im curious how these two queer chinese immigrant millenials operate. sounds like his gf is just open-minded & likes femme dudes, & he enjoys dl hookups. i think he's kinda cute in the low glow on the plane. i like that he's nerdy & extroverted, & very direct about his thoughts & feelings. our arms r touching for the whole flight bc the armrest was up, & the guy in the aisle seat is huge. it's a bit sweaty & disorienting, but in the low light we r both loosened up to chat.

on the drive back, i ask him abt the logistics. he says he's clean, & he wants me to suck him off. i can tell he's excited to hook up.. he asks me if i want to go to his hotel with him, we don't have to do anything sexual. i refuse bc it's almost 2am & i have work in the morning. i tell him i wont do anything until after i talk with emmy.

i walk to his place the next evening. there's a park between my apartment building & the residence inn. the park is so close but i hadn't walked in that direction before. the sun was setting, & i felt a bit displeased that i was walking 20 mins instead getting picked up via a 2 minute drive. it's just what happens for hookups i guess, especially with repressed, closeted dudes. he didn't want his colleagues noticing.

when i got there, he immediately starts kissing me, & pulls me toward the bed. the sex was okay. i liked how he smelled & felt, but there wasn't anything romantic about it. i also liked that he was rly big & leaked a lot of precum.

afterward, we start chatting a bit & he starts scrolling on ig. a lot of stupif american political propaganda.. biden this, trump that. i ask him to lay with me. i turn into a baby koala. its nice to lay on his chest & feel him all over. sigh.. neither him nor emmy r good at holding me close. he starts to fall asleep, & says i should just sleep over. i tell him he needs to send me home.. i'll sleep over tomorrow.

the next day, i walk over (it's a pleasant walk this time) & we spend the night chatting. he's rly nosy & asks me to show him pictures of everyone in my life. i don't want to though. i think he was a bit nervous to make conversation. i make him answer all his prying questions too. we exchange instagrams, & he confesses that he's actually married. i also tell him honestly that it was fun to hook up, but i like chatting as friends more.

one interesting story he told me was abt the first time he had an orgasm. he said his family was rly poor when he was little & they wouldn't bathe much. he went to a city once & stayed at a place with a good shower, & the pressure running down the front of his dick felt so good. he learned by replicating that sensation. i told him that i touch myself differently than guys do, by pressing down at the base. we didn't do anything sexual, just a bit of squishing, & sometime after midnight we went to bed.

i woke up an hour or two later & started touching him. he woke up too & started rubbing my taint like a pussy. his big hands felt really good, & i thought i was going to cum a few times but i didn't. he came pretty quickly, so i asked him to stroke me instead so i could finish too.

the next morning i left after a hug & a kiss. he sent me a message later in the day telling me that im sweet, and he hopes we'll meet again.

i think im too vulnerable & giving. he is a nice and honest guy, and even he had completely self-serving actions. i don't think i want to change how i behave. i should protect myself, but it's futile to try controlling what happens in life. i think we did genuinely touch each other's hearts, & had the bravery to go for it because of strange circumstances.

today too, im craving intimacy, connection, & discovery. part of me feels ambivalent toward becoming a bottomless pit for pleasurable experiences, and the other part wants to insist that life is simply the sum of my experiences. i should make myself open to positive experiences like intimacy, connection, & discovery. this time things fell right into my lap.. maybe i shouldn't be scared to broaden my reach. undecided..

[ambrees-journal-inspo]

Vent typed but not sent to Connor June 16th 2024

Combination of bad brain day (mental health), bad body day (hard to eat and knee pain) and migraines. My anxiety is super high rn and it's making me irritable but only inside my head bc I don't wanna stress other people out so I just circle around stuff that annoys or pisses me off. And I can't stop thinking Abt literally everything that is terrible in the world and there's so much stress piling up. And there's so many things I'm trying to change so I'm less of a terrible person to live with but it feels like the more I try the more it gets worse and highlights how shitty I am. And there's the underlying unsaid shit Abt how this won't last anyway and I'll fall back into the bad habits I always do and my sisters will suffer for it. Plus work only has me scheduled for 2 days this week so like I'm probably not even gonna be able to make rent so there's even more shit and I already owe them both so much in that department fuck now I wanna throw up. And I can't even get up the balls to ask my therapist point blank if she's homophobic and anti Zionist so idk whete the fuck I get off even having passing thoughts of thinking I could help even one person let alone protect someone I see on the street or participate in direct action. Fuck man

FUCK IM PMSING IM GONNA KILL SOMEONE IM NOT EVEN SUICIDAL RIGHT NOW WHAT THE FUCK.

2nd part I did send:

And I'm chewing on this response because I find it hard to respond honestly and authentically when loved ones show genuine care and concern for me. Details mean you know more which means you're involved and it becomes your problem. And it opens the chance for you to be annoyed with me or disappointed or see an obvious solution and I feel stupid for the rest of my waking days. And if you offer a proper solution then I am obligated to spend even more emotional mental and physical energy on actually trying that rather than letting myself rot of my own accord.

So now I'm over thinking it and dealing with the fact that it's not fair that you share your issues and trust me with your stressors but I don't do the same. I promise it's not a personal thing I just don't know how to express this stuff. I'm sorry.

[blackvail22]

i have to write down what im gonna say to my counselor because i genuinely have to make sure i have all of my thoughts straightened out so i dont blank like i always do

ok

my sister moved out on friday and saturday. it feels easier than last time, but it still doesnt feel right. like, i look at my clock when it's almost 4 and i think "oh, my brother will be home soon" and then it reaches 5 and im like "oh, my sister will be home soon" but they never arrive. its a sad realization every time but... yeah. i hung out with my sister and her friend on friday when my sister started moving. her friends personality is very... big, loud, but she can't help it so i dont mind it. my mood went from reserved -> opening up -> starting to be myself -> shut down. like, i was fine until i jokingly said "you have friends?" to my brother, when i know that he does..., and he said "i have more than you" and then he said that my online friends dont count. which, sure... i dont leave my house to see and hang out with them, but they're still friends; i still hang out with them somehow. idk, it just made me feel like .... idk what the word is.... it was just on the spot, and the way everyone was looking at me.. its like i was scared. not like anxiety-scared, but scared-scared. i dont really know why, though? i mean, actually.... i do have a bf and it kinda felt like they were invalidating that (even though they dont know about it and actually only .... hmm.... a few people know aobut it but i digress) but other than that, i dont really get it? it felt like they thought i was just being overdramatic when i said "they dont really hang out with me though" . ANYWAY yeah, i felt sad after that and like my walls went up too. on saturday i dont remember anything significant happening.. ijust remember i worked that day. i worked sunday too. after work on sunday, i have a lot of time because i had an early shift. i started to clean up all of the clothes i have everywhere. i mean, i guess i did alright, but my room still isnt clean somehow so. oh, also late that night i tried moving my bed into my sisters old room and i couldnt drag it like i could my other mattresses because theres a protector on it, so i got my bed, like, stuck and i slept on the floor of my sisters old room LOL it was kinda nice though. monday my brother got the bed in the room and it was nice. i put my desk in this room too. i dont have many of my things in here. i like how little things r in here. sometimes when i have too much stuff in a space i feel like so.... panicked. idk. i like how empty it feels in here. i might never put the rest of my stuff in here lol. uhh and then tuesday (yesterday) i worked as usual. i was talking with my old coworker though about life n stuff and she mentioned how she was looking for a roommate for when she rents and appartment and i offered to be her roommate so thats something now. i havent told anyone else about it because i feel like my mom and dad would be like pissed off which.... doesnt make a lot of sense to me because im less than 3 weeks away from being 18 and i told her i wouldnt rlly be able to move in until early september because of my surgery but anyway.... it makes me anxious to think aobut anyway because i dont have a license UHHH so ... itll be so hard getting to and from my appts and going to and from work. so thats kinda stresful but yeah that was my week. so much to talk about!!!

i stg me talking abt all of this is going to leave me with 45+ minutes to fill because all of this is like nothing LOLLLl

[penny-anna]

sitting in the bathroom at work on my phone & notice i have an email from my letting agency. well i guess i should read that

and ok i. can't post the whole thing for privacy reasons so i have Redacted identifying info here it is:

all the branding & contact details are so legitimate AND on top of that i actually recognise the name in the signature (it's a distinctive name & i had a lengthy email conversation with her last year about an actual rent issue) that i have a moment of HUH?? before it strikes me what is probably going on here

very very tenatively follow the link to see where it goes. get uhh this page:

hmm nope i will not be doing that

go back to the email. notice for the first time that it does in fact come from a legitimate letting agency address. consider the possibility that they might actually have sent me an invoice for an absurd amount of money by mistake & decide to give the captcha a go

get taken to what looks like a microsoft log in page. OHH OKAY. okay i see the game you are playing here. no u may not have my password.

still i am only 99% sure so leave the bathroom and go to call my letting agency. phone signal is piss poor at the office so go to grab my work phone.

co-worker: hey everything okay

me: i have to go call my landlord - actually i'll just show you what i got

co-worker, squinting at email: oh yeah that looks like [LETTING AGENCY]

(she is coincidentally a tenant of the same agency)

me: okay but they are saying i owe them thirty grand

co-worker: yeah you should call them

me: IM GONNA

call the letting agency

me, like 99% sure this is a blatant phishing email and kinda embarrassed to be calling them: hey uhh did you send me an email this afternoon

agency: no nothing's coming up. Why, what did it say?

me: ok im gonna be frank, it's an email saying i owe you £30,000 and as far as i am aware, i do not

agency: oh that's weird. who is it from?

me: [REDACTED]

agency: oh dear she's an actual member of our accounts team

me: yeah i know. i think its a scam. my name & address don't appear anyway and the link is dodgy.

agency: ......i'm going to put you on hold

im on hold for long enough that i 1) decide to do some arithmetic for the fun of it and determine that, even if i had paid no rent for the entire time i have lived here, i still would not owe them £30k and 2) get bored and go back to my desk to do more work

come off hold

agency, sounding audibly harried: yeah so that is a scam. please don't interact with it

me: i thought it probably was

agency: while you were on hold I actually got the same email

me: oh dear

agency: yeah we're looking into it.

agency: thank you so much for letting us know

anyway looks like it's some kind of security breach at their end. WHICH IS A RELIEF. bcos i was worried abt how a scammer could know who my landlord was dhgdkghfdl

anyway stay safe <3

had THE most unsettling phishing email experience today lads

[ibelongto-tylergalpin]

OH MY GOSH can I maybe possibly request Steve x Eddie’s sister/sibling!reader I’m so excited you wrote for him like- love u byeeee

YES. YES. YES YES YES FINALLY LORD YES IVE BEEN WAITING FOR THIS OH LORD YES ILY ILY ILY YOU HAVE NO IDEA HOW WIDE MY SMILE IS RN ILYSM IM SO HAPPY RN

*One of the gayest photos ive seen but we'll talk abt that another time*

*Nother lil side note: I went to get water and when I came back this gif was on my screen AND I SQUEALED AND GIGGLED. THATS WHAT KINDA HOLD THIS MAN HAS OVER ME. ok imma stfu and let you get to reading* *LAST ONE I SWEAR: Listened to this while writing:) .... and this :)))*

~OKAY SO YOU HAVE NO IDEA HOW GIDDY I AM RN CAUSE STEVE HARRINGTON CAN SMASH MY FACE IN WITH HIS BAT anyways :)

~Yall actually met before the Vecna stuff

~You're in your senior year for the FIRST time unlike your idiot brother Eddie

~You're not in hellfire but you do spend A LOT of time with them

~Literally the mom of the group

~You have other friends that you'd gladly hang out with but you stay with them because the minute you leave one of them is gonna end up somehow missing a finger

~They need adult supervision at all times and youre the best they got even though Eddie is literally a year older than you

~You were the one who convinced Eddie to invite Mike, Dustin, and Lucas to Hellfire (He didn't wanna at first cause they were "shrimpy freshmen" his words not mine)

~Dustin excitedly ranting to Steve about the group when he first joined

~"He's so cool! He gets on the table n shit and doesnt give a shit about what people say"

~"Dude I don't wanna hear about Eddie 'The Freak' Munson"

~"He has a sister y'know... she's 18. She's pretty awesome too. And single"

~"Well that's great for her" (mf started zoning dustin out at this point poor dustybun)

~Dustin thinks you'd be so fucking perfect for Steve so whenever he sees him he always always always finds some way to work your name into the conversation

~He starts doing the same to you poor boy is set on this ship and will not give up till it sails

~Eddie gets so pissed whenever Dustin brings up Steve. His mood noticeably changes but Dustin, being Dustin, can't take the hint

~You cant be mean to Dustin cause you find him so sweet and adorable so you just endure it even though you have really no intention of talking to Steve 'The Hair' Harrington

~Literally 3-4 months had passed and Dustin was still talking you up to Steve and vice versa even though the two of you still hadn't met

~The Hellfire club was hanging out at the trailer park and when everyone was leaving you heard Dustin say he was gonna go to the video store so you decided to drive him cause you borrowed Robin's history notes cause you ditched class

~You took Eddies keys while he was using the restroom and made sure to leave before he could yell at you for stealing his car again

~You went inside with Dustin and he introduced you and Steve

~"Steve! This is Y/n"

~He gave you a small nod, unaware of what to do. You tried to match his awkward energy so you just gave him a small wave

`"I'm Steve"

~"I know. Little Dustin over here doesn't shut up about you"

~Dustin has the widest smile on his face seeing the two of you meet for the first time but it immediately drops when he hears you call him "little"

~"Hey what the hell"

~"I'm sorry. I didn't mean it 'Dustybun'" you said as you messed with his hair

~"I've told you already! Only Suzie calls me that!"

~You start laughing at Dustins face cause he looks so pissed and oml when Steve hears you laugh his heart MELTS

~He loves the way you treat Dustin

~Its hasn't even been a minute but mans is already down bad for you

~"Anyways, is Robin here? I borrowed her history notes and I'm just here to drop off little dustybun and give her her notes back"

~"Stop calling me Dustybun!"

~"Uh she's not here yet but she should be in about 15 minutes"

~"Oh alright. Can you give these to her when she gets here then?"

~"I mean or you could stay? Y'know, make sure she gets the notes safely. Plus it'd give me a chance to get to know you better..."

~THE WAYS DUSTINS FACE LIGHTS UP I SWEAR

~You stand there for a second contemplating it. You were curious to get to know more about Steve Harrington, especially since Dustin was constantly talking about him. Eddie will kill you if you have his car for too long without asking though, which was even more of a reason to stay. God you love pissing your brother off.

~"Well what do you wanna know Harrington?"

~The two hit it off surprisingly well

~So well in fact that even after you give Robin her notes, you stay longer

~The moment you leave Steve's decided that he's in love. Like thats that. His search for the right woman is over. He's found you and he's gonna try his damnedest to win your heart

~When you got back to your trailer Eddie was fuming

~He was sitting on the couch with his arms crossed and his leg bouncing up and down while staring at the door

~"My my, what ever is wrong dear brother?"

~"What have I told you about taking my car without permission?!?"

~"Relax I was only gone for 30 minutes"

~"YOU WERE GONE FOR 2 HOURS! What were you even doing?! I thought you were just dropping off Henderson!"

~"I stayed a bit longer to talk to Steve"

"Harrington?!"

~"No Eddie, fucking Steven Spielberg"

~Steve constantly bugging Dustin about you and asking him random ass questions about you

~Dustin deciding to be his wing-man for once, he's always asking you to drive him to the video store

~Constantly stealing Eddies car to take Dustin

~Every time you drop him off, you always stay for an extra hour just talking with Steve

~He tries to flirt with you but he gets so nervous when you're around he becomes Scoops Ahoy Steve again

~Dustin and Robin literally face palming whenever he says something stupid but you finding his failed flirting attempts absolutely adorable

~Eddie constantly asking you what's up with you and Harrington

~Telling him you're just friends but him continuing to nag you

~Eventually having enough with your brother bs so you throw a pillow in his face

~Him throwing one back

~Munson sibling pillow fights>>>>>>

~3 months of you and Steve talking at the video store and he still hasn't asked you out

~Robin and Dustin taking bets on when he'll finally confess

~You constantly go to the video store to talk with Steve, with or without Dustin

~One day you were sitting on the counter reading your book while Steve worked and all of a sudden he just kinda blurted the words "movie theater"

~You looked up from your book to see him looking at you

~"Huh?"

~"I, uh, I was wondering if you wanted to go to the movies with me"

~"Only on one condition"

~Yeah..?"

~"You let me pick the movie"

~Steve regained his confidence and the two of you started going back and forth as you always did, laughing and talking

~The two of you decided that Steve would pick you up at 7 and you would surprise him with the movie

~"Wait so let me get this straight. Steve 'The Hair' Harrington... asked you out on a date?"

~"Jeez don't sound so surprised. Your little sister is a very desirable woman"

~"Yeah, sure" Eddie said as he scoffed and rolled his eyes

~"Anyways, it's not a date. At least I don't think it is"

~"You've been hanging out with Steve Harrington every day for the past 3 months. It's a date."

~"Go away and let me finish getting ready please"

~"Sure. Meanwhile I can dust off my 'Protective Older Brother' speech"

~"I will hurt you. Get out. Now."

~"What exactly are your intentions with my little sister, Harrington?" Eddie said, mockingly

~"Out!" You said as you threw a pillow with him and he ran out cackling

~At almost 7 exactly, you saw Steve's car pull up to the trailer and you checked yourself really quickly in the mirror before going to meet him at the door, but much to your dismay, Eddie opened the door before you could get there

~"Hey, uh, is Y/n ready?"

~You could HEAR the nervousness in his voice

~"Depends, who's asking?"

~"Eddie, don't be an ass"

~"Sorry Y/n/n, it's habit by now" (God I can just picture his cocky ass smile)

~You roll your eyes before greeting Steve

~"Hey Harrington"

~"H-hey. You ready, gorgeous?"

~Meanwhile Eddie is gagging his soul out behind you after hearing that

~Idk bout yall but I would just combust right then and there... anyways :)

~Steve holds out his hand to help you down the steps and you gladly take it

~As the two of you walk towards his car you turn around to see Eddie still standing in the doorway and you silently jump up and down to show him your excitement

~Has the cutest big brother smile on his face after seeing how excited you are

~Steve opens the door for you and Eddie shouts to the two of you

~"Hey! You better keep your hands to yourself Harrington!"

~You flip him off through the open car window

~No cause why can I picture Steve almost FALLING when trying to walk around the front of the car to get to the drivers seat. You can't tell me you don't see it. Argue with the wall. I do every day... lets not get into my psychological issues and get back to the story :D

~As the two of you are driving there you sing along to the songs on the radio together

~"So what movie are we watching?"

~"You'll see when we get there"

~You guys finally get there and walk up to the ticket booth

~"Two tickets for Clue please"

~"Really?! Clue?! Haven't you seen that movie 4 times already?"

~"5 times actually. Plus you've never seen it! You cant go through your life never having watched Clue!"

~You reach into your pocket to pull out your wallet and Steve sees

~"Put that away. I'm paying"

~"No you're not. I chose the movie, I pay"

"You may have chosen the movie, but I'm the one who asked you out"

~"You barely asked me! All you said was 'movie theaters'"

"I'm paying!"

~"No you're not!"

~As you tried to pull your money out, Steve snatched your wallet out of you hand and you stared at him in disbelief

~"Uh! Gimme my wallet back Harrington!"

~"No! You'll get it back after our date."

~"Oh so this is a date?" you asked teasingly

"Oh, uh, I mean if you want it to be"

~The way his vibe quickly deteriorated after realizing what he said

~"Okay fine. I'll get my wallet back after our date"

~Ion wanna be cheesy, but imma be cheesy cause its Steve motherfucking Harrington

~The classic both hands in the popcorn bucket thing happened (if you dont know what that is, its this thing in movies and shows when the love interests go to the movies and reach for popcorn and there hands touch and they get all awkward and flustered)

~Steve did the stupid thing where he slowly inched his hand closer to yours so he could eventually hold it but you could clearly see what he was trying to do, so you moved his drink onto the ground, lifted the arm rest, and lifted his arm around your shoulder and laid against his chest

~He was flustered as hell. He was not expecting you to do that

~After the movie he drove you home and you could tell he was nervous the entire way

~He walked you to the door but you dragged him to the back of the trailer where there was no window cause you knew Eddie would watch if you guys said goodbye in front of the door

~Before he could comprehend what you were doing, you put your hands around his neck and pulled him down and kissed him

~He was shocked at first but eventually gave into the kiss and wrapped his hands around your waist as he pulled you a lot closer to him (rail me rn like pretty please)

~Once you guys broke apart for air, he rested his forehead against yours

~"I've wanted to do that since the moment I laid eyes on you"

~The two of you stayed there like that for about a minute or two

~You kissed him one more time, this time reaching into his pocket and taking your wallet back

~You gave him one last peck on the lips before running inside

~When he got to his car he was fist-bumping the air and freaking out stop he was so excited

~You walked into the trailer and it was pitch black

~When you turned the lights on you saw Eddie and your uncle sitting on the couch with their arms crossed as they stared at you, which obviously made you jump

~"What the hell are you guys doing?! Why are you sitting there like a couple of weirdos?! God!"

~"We're the ones asking the questions here missy!" Eddie yelled

~Clearly they were both fucking with you since they loved to poke fun at you all the time

"Did he try anything?" Your uncle asked looking more serious that Eddie did

~You sighed and rolled your eyes

~"No he didn't try anything Uncle Wayne"

~"Woooow! So what, does he think you're not good enough?!" Eddie yelled once again

~"What?! No! I mean we kissed a few time but-"

~"You what?! You shouldn't be kissing anyone till your at least 30!" Eddie screamed as he stood up

~"I'm going to sleep. You two make me wanna off myself"

~Your uncle laughed and Eddie walked over to you before you could walk away and he pulled you into a hug

~"You seem happier since he came around. I'm happy for you"

~You wrapped your arms around him, smiling at your older brothers kind words when all of a sudden his grip tightened

~"Let him know that I said if he ever hurts you there is not a place on earth he can hide. I will hunt him down for the rest of my life if I have to and I will make sure he suffers."

~"Alright get off me" you said as you shoved him away in disgust and your uncle laughed in the background

~"Night baby sis!"

~You didn't say anything and just flipped him off as you walked to go to bed

~The next day you walked into the video store and the minute Steve saw you he ran towards you and pulled you into a kiss

~Robin and Dustin hadn't known about your guys date so they were very surprised

~"Fork it over Robin" Dustin said as he stuck his hand out

~"You guys couldn't wait one more month?!" Robin said as she gave Dustin 10 bucks

~Steve driving you to and from school

~You and Robin bullying him in the car

~Friday night date nights

~Lots and lots of cuddles

~PDA PDA PDA

~Trying so hard to get Eddie and Steve to get along but they just won't budge

~Steve meeting your uncle and winning him over

~Steves parents absolutely adoring you

~Steves mom thinks you're "a nice break from all those trashy girls he used to date"

~PDA

~Going on late night drives cause why not

~Hellfire going crazy when Dustin brags about the fact that you and Steve are dating

~"You're actually dating Steve Harrington?!"

~Eddie yelling shut up the way he did in episode 1 when everyone gets rowdy

~He hates hearing about your relationship mainly because your his baby sister, but the fact that he doesn't like Steve is a factor

~P D A he is all about PDA

~You guys never actually had the whole Bf/gf talk

~It just kinda slipped out on accident and he didn't even notice

~Your first "I love you" was when he got attacked in the upside down and you jumped in after him

~Nancy getting a bit weird with you because youre dating her ex, but she sees how good you are for him and the two of you actually hit it off

~Dance parties with him are a must

~He takes you to skull rock but its all cute n stuff he like laid blankets down and had snacks and you guys just laid there cuddling while staring at the stars and talking

~Thats actually when he let "girlfriend" slip out

~"You're the best girlfriend anyone could every ask for, y'know that right?"

~Ended up accidentally falling asleep there and Eddie freaking out when you got home cause he was worried

~I cannot stress this enough but I'll try. Public Display of Affection !!!!

~On your guys night drives you sit on his lap in the backseat and you guys have fallen asleep there multiple times

~One time you guys even fell asleep after you were parked in front of the trailer and you didnt feel like going in yet

~Basically hes just one of the best boyfriends you could ever have and now i wanna cry cause I know I'll never have this

[depresseddepot]

.

[mallowstep]

k i'm deleting the actual comment but let's look at this (from itcos):

Okay- so if you find bramble/squirrel wrong than wouldn't that have made fern/dust wrong? And fire/sand? Because before Dustpelt and Fern got together as warriors Dustpelt clearly liked Ferncloud. Fireheart liked Sandstorm when she was an apprentice. Also I should mention cloud/bright because when Cloudtail became a warrior brightheart was still an apprentice. (Yes I do know that brightpaw should have been made a warrior moons ago in that book). Also leaf/moth? Because at this point it's cannon. Leafpool was an apprentice when mothwing probably took a liking in her. Crow/feather? Feathertail was a warrior and Crowpaw was an apprentice. Feathertail was born in Forest of secrets and Crowpaw was born in the middle of darkest hour and midnight. Also im pretty sure that Squirrelfight was 8-9 moons old when that book was taking place.

i am allowing myself this much to say about ferndust: fireheart makes one comment about it, jfc. (i'm not responding to ANY other discussions of ferndust.)

sandstorm is literally older than fireheart

squirrel&bramble arguably get together when squirrel is still an apprentice. not really, but it's way too close to comfort, and way closer than both previous examples.

ONCE AGAIN, BRIGHTHEART IS OLDER THAN HIM

like way to demonstrate ZERO critical thinking. the problem is pretty fucking obviously the way bramble is ACTIVELY trying to get with an APPRENTICE who's MUCH YOUNGER than him and doing it in a SUPER MANIPULATIVE way while also being a DICK to her.

leafmoth is regrettably not canon. also, wait, this is pissing me off. LEAFPAW expresses interesting in mothwing, and she literally feels like mothwing doesn't reciprocate. there's a huge amount of angst about how leafpaw is just an apprentice and mothwing doesn't care about her. jsfdlkjs;afkjl;.dasfj dl;kjfdsljk;.dsalfkj;dslk;sfdj. i can't believe this shit. between "there's no mothpool age gap" (there definitely is, it's fucking huge?) and now this i'm so done. i need to write some mothpool god fucking damn. my mothpool is excellent please ignore all mothpool i've written before now because none of it is very true to how i think abt them or how i want to write them. i mean the mothpool i'm working on now is a deliberate inversion (even if i'm getting REALLY into passerine...yes mothwing be so gay that leafpool brushing her tail against you keeps you up at night.) look i'm saying everyone fucking sucks about mothpool jfc.

actually yeah there IS a large age gap with feathercrow and i'm still pissed because someone called it fucking. nope. i'm not even going to repeat it because that's how angry i was about it. but. deep breath, matthew. keep it together. anyway, crowpaw's age is completely incoherent, there's no logical way for him to be BOTH deadfoot's son AND still an apprentice. pick or choose. what we do know is that he was very, very nearly a warrior, which means (since the journey took a VERY long time), he was definitely an adult when he got w feathertail. is there a large age gap? yes. do i have a problem with it? no, because feathertail wasn't fucking manipulating a young apprentice jfc. ig you get a point for having a comparison that's actually almost relevant.

NO. NO SHE WAS NOT. i proved this for mothpool age gap purposes but she's CONFIRMED to be a NEW APPRENTICE when she leaves. you. fuck. once again, you are FUCKING LYING to make a point that i jusdfljdaslf;jk

anyway i'm going to go delete the comment now

[dangan-meme-palace]

You mentioned writing a fanfic with a selfinsert i think? Do you mind sharing more about it? Im curious to learn more.

Ah what I was talking abt yesterday abt working on my OCs was my Overlord OCs, something I've been really into as of late.

But here's a ramble about my DR self insert anyways because I finally have the plot down.

My DR SI is the Ultimate Media Critic who basically fucked up Season 52 at the last minute on purpose (for Rantaro's sake) and got everyone executed, including herself, but she was spared because the audience liked her for it, and so TDR shoved her in V3 with a new talent: The Ultimate Online Investigator.

Keeping old cast members– barring the MM– alive pisses fans off because that takes away time spent with the new cast for people they already know, so TDR tried to get her killed. Specifically Monokuma shoved her down the fucking stairs by the library (to make it look like a double murder and make the investigation harder) and was gonna play it off like she tripped.

She lived though, and got her old memories from the last game back. Just in time to discover the dead body of the person she was willing to sacrifice everything for. Great, everyone last season died for nothing and she's the one who killed them :')

She spends V3 secretly keeping an eye on Tsumugi under the guise of being sewing/cosplay/RP friends; becoming friends with (ugh) workout trio to keep herself relevant; making genuine friends with Miu, Kiibo and Gonta; and secretly helping Kokichi/keeping him company because she realizes how smart he is and is hoping that he'll be able to help her escape the killing games somehow because while she figured out that DR was a story, she wasn't smart enough to escape.

She also spends her time fucking with the audience with lowkey meta commentary that the rest of the V3 cast doesn't understand. She calls everyone characters, and when something happens she'll mention the plot, etc. The V3 cast thinks it's just a quirk of hers because she "RPs" with Tsumugi, but she's directly referring to how they're in a story of some sort and how there's an audience watching them.

She tries to blend in and secure her place within the V3 cast (because if she doesn't make herself neccessary to the plot TDR will try to kill her again) by using her talent as the Ultimate Media Critic to figure out what's going to happen ahead of time and either get involved with it or solve it (since when she got her old memories and talent back, she lost her new ones so she has to pretend to be an investigator when she's not in order to keep up her act.)

Her hunches usually end up being right since she IS the Ultimate Media Critic afterall, of course she would be able guess the plot of V3 when it's written so badly lol.

Chapter 5 she finally loses it and distances herself from everyone because she can't stand them and how they aren't even close to finding a way out of the game loop and not only that but they're ganging up on the only person who is efficiently working on escape (Kokichi.) Everyone is shocked when she calls Kaito and the rest of them idiots for trying to take on the Monokuma army because she's been playing the role of "Member of the Workout Squad" so well that they never knew she secretly hated them and their dumb antics. They think Kokichi is manipulating her lmao and they keep trying to "save" her from him.

An important thing to note is that in CH4 after Miu places poison next to Kokichi, she decides to swap the poison in Shuichi's lab with (sorta) harmless stuff like tranquilizers and the antidotes with the poison just in case someone tries to use the poison, either as their murder method or as a red herring like Miu did. This is how she screws up Chapter 5's murder and is able to turn that situation in her favor.

This leads to that and one mental breakdown later she's saved Kokichi from dying in the hanger by sacrificing Kaito and frames Maki for the crime. During the trial Monokuma tries to (correctly) blame her for the crime because TDR thinks that she's been feeding Kokichi information, which is explicitly in defiance of their unspoken agreement–

The terms and conditions of her continued survival are that she never tells anyone of her memories and that she always makes herself entertaining/improves the plot.

–So to get back at TDR and in a desperate bid to survive, she reveals her original talent and makes a big show of fucking things up and messing with people like she did in the last game. The audience is really happy with her because not only did she manufacture a star-crossed lovers scenario with two very beloved characters, but she also speaks directly to the audience during the trial. Where before she had only been making references that they might get, she is now directly calling for their participation (which coincidentally goes with this season's theme: Audience Participation.)

Since Monokuma was expecting her to die and not Maki, Maki ends up getting my OCs execution: Flame War.

During the final trial she goes on a rant about how V3 is the shittiest story she's ever seen as the Ultimate Media Critic (because shes been bottling it up to keep up her act) and then proceeds to detail exactly why that is, which kinda pisses off the cast because she's "inadvertently" insulting them by insulting their characterizations and the dead cast members too lol.

Story ends with her finally getting out of the game and having a happy ending.

All in all just imagine: What if Kokichi had gotten away with his plan in Chapter 4 and had been forced to play another game instead of dying and you'll basically have a pretty good idea of what my OC is about.

[ihatebnha]

With the Bakugo dravble, it's funny because we went through what it discussed. Went in knowing he's hot, came out with the everyday mundane that you can't help but love. If you wanna do more like that, I'd say go for it! And, it'd be funny if, like, him and reader were going at it and suddenly he's like "fuck...I forgot to get xxx ingredients to use for tomorrow's leftovers. We gotta finish this quick so I can make it to the supermarket in time." Like, way to ruin the mood, but also bring the mood up because it's just so domestic and cute and I'd be giggling and he'd probably be embarrassed and/or telling me to stop because as he just said, he's gotta hurry. You just can't NOT love the guy, no matter what.

Awwww hahaha, that idea is tooo cute… I can imagine Bakugo being just so stupid when it comes to that type of stuff😍

Honestly, my personal headcanon for him is that he’s so focused on his hero work that stuff like fashion, romance, etc. probably seem very trivial and unnecessary to him. Not that he doesn’t love you, but if you try to sext him he’s just like “anyway... like i was saying....” 

bakugo: what do u want for dinner

y/n: y o u 

bakugo: 😒no seriously dumbass 

I also imagine that if u were to ask him if you looked nice, he’d be like “um… you always look fine??” Very genuinely, even if you were wearing the ugliest outfit ever, simply because he just does not have the time or radar to critique how you look because he “has better things to worry about” 

(i know this kinda goes against his parents being fashion designers but he doesn’t seem connected to that world at all and honestly... he’s constantly wearing a skull tshirt and jeans???? fashion legend i guess) 

and honestly to me this is really intriguing and kinda a good thing, since I just see him as a really, down to earth, focused guy who values working hard over everything, you know?? And as someone who thinks that looks aren’t reflective of the things that people value or their personality. 

to him, Romance is abt being with someone, not really abt making a show of it, and if he likes you, he likes you, no matter what. 

This is really why i end up writing bakugo in a more boring light, simply because i feel like he cares too much abt being strong to care abt the things he considers “stupid” (aka: things that dont revolve around being a hero). 

like yea he knows he’s dummi attractive but at the same time i feel like it would piss him off to know that someone only liked him for his body/looks and not all the cool things he’s done or believes in.  

you: wow i love ur new haircut ur soooo sexi

him: thx 

you: wow i loved how you broke that r*pist’s jaw! 

him: instant boner let me fuq u 

ok katsuki.... ok.... i see u... 

(im trying to write a fic where its like.. bakugo is sick of dating ppl bc they only like him since hes a hero and get sick of him when they find out hes mean, and then he meets u at a restaurant and u dont really know who he is, and hes like... damn thats kinda sexy but theyre def gonna leave when they find out im an asshole, but then you dont leave... but my draft got really long and i got scared and havent made any progress on it LOOOL) 

anyway sorry for rambling i just really wanted to talk abt how i view bakugo in a  sappy and serious way i guess LOL bc i wub him a lot (I know this did not match the ask at all but i got too carried away)

and just while im here... these are just my own personal thoughts that are probably so biased...but still i think theres some truth to my ideas! id love to hear what you all think of them/ if theyre plausible... i saw a tik tok once that was like... “cons of dating bakugo: you would always have to look nice” and honestly thats just soooo out of character to me… Like ofc he notices when u look nice but u think he actually cares??? He’s too busy to give a shit abt what you’re wearing!! Your nails look ugly? Shit, so do his!! You spend too much time on your makeup, he’s leaving without you. 

LOL like i think he just doesnt have the brain cells to care abt what ppl look like, especially if they manage to get his attention anyway. 

EHNIWHEY... hope this made sense and that my thoughts werent too out of character... ill try to write a mundane drabble for baks soon!

[cs-discourse]

here we go

https://cs-discourse.tumblr.com/post/179953845684/uuuuwuu-every1-whos-concerned-abt-biased-judging

ok this attitude has been pissing me off long enough that it's time for one of my Big Ole Posts (tm) about how shitty this is! thanks. 

uuuuwuu every1 whos concerned abt biased judging in comps is just soooow entitled !!!1 i cant bewieve ppl wouldnt want some1 whos literally explicitly stating at this point that they trust their friends more to "demonstrate dedication to the character" they assign to a design to b an influence in judging comps !!!!!11 bc artists Never weigh in on other artist's comps, so obviously thes ppl just want fwee merc designs !!!1!!1 also my last braincell just died pleas h

so here's the og post in question for quick reference

i honestly have no idea why people keep bringing up this idea of bias in judging competitions because, while i do think there is a type of bias that certainly exists, i think a lot of so-called "bias" that people have is ... not whatsoever like what people think it is lol. artists are people and there's always going to be SOME kind of bias no matter what you do, because it's literally fuckin impossible to NOT be biased. by that i mean:

your taste in plots/types of characters/medias influence your judging

quality of writing or art can influence your judging

the person who's applying for the adopt you may have previous judgement about

even if you say you aren't biased, you STILL have preferences and tastes in things that you prefer more than others, which in of itself is a kind of bias

people who know you (friends for example) will naturally know what your taste is. 

a competition is judged based on what form the artist thinks is best, right? 

NEWSFLASH EVERYONE'S IDEA OF "WHAT'S BEST" IS DIFFERENT FROM PERSON TO PERSON ..... "BEST" is literally the most subjective thing there is, and while i agree that there are certain aspects of art and writing that you can use as objective measurements of tangible skill, it's... still subjective. what people think is "best" will vary from person to person because we all have different tastes. so, essentially, this boils down to the idea that the winner of an adopt competition will ALWAYS be the form the artist liked best, because that is what the artist perceives as best. so like. when people appear biased in adopt competitions towards friends or certain circles, it's probably because they're literally friends because they have similar tastes in things, and therefore the form the artist likes best is naturally going to be from someone who shares similar tastes. 

so whenever i hear about """bias""" in competitions i just kind of roll my eyes tbqh because it's usually followed by complaints of "BUT I PUT IN SO MUCH EFFORT" or "I WROTE SO MUCH MORE THAN THE WINNER" uhhhh. if adopt contests were won by effort alone it wouldn't be a contest, it'd be an endurance test lol. literally just "who has the most time to waste writing out 60000k words of absolute meaningless fluff"... because, i hate to break it to you, but ANYONE can write 5000 words of mindless drivel that has literally no substance to it. 

now in caps for emphasis. takes a deep breath

THERE IS NO SKILL NEEDED TO BLOAT YOUR WORD COUNT. 

YOU DO NOT NEED TO KNOW HOW TO WRITE WELL TO WRITE 5000 WORDS.

YOU JUST NEED TO KNOW HOW TO TYPE AND PUT SENTENCES TOGETHER.

quality > quantity, always. like, i'm sorry you put in so many hours of effort but, those people who win with MUCH smaller wordcounts... did they not work to get as good as they did with writing? you put in 5 hours into one tryout. but others, take me for example: i have been writing for over 10 bloody years. i've worked hard to improve my writing, so you can't tell me i "didn't put in as much effort" as you because i did. i put in YEARS of work to get better so doing simple things would take me LESS time now. inb4 IT'S UNFAIR! dude, the literal definition of a contest is for the best to win. it wouldn't be a contest if it wasn't like that lol. it'd just be charity. what you should be doing instead of complaining about it is ASKING FOR CRIT and WORKING TO IMPROVE like a good sport? i get that it's discouraging but you should be prepared to lose when you join a contest. it's valid to be upset about but the moment you say you deserve it more than others JUST because of your effort, then i have a problem. 

and you know, there's gonna be times where i think a comp winner is objectively less skilled than other tryouts. honestly i just kind of shrug that off on account of different taste lol. sometimes that's just how it be, bc of those predetermined biases i mentioned before, and maybe a judge and i are just in completely stages of life so what i call quality might not appeal to the judge. that's also fine. anyway this really got off on a tangent but i'm leaving it in bc i think it needs saying. back to the og post

 > i cant bewieve ppl wouldnt want some1 whos literally explicitly stating at this point that they trust their friends more to "demonstrate dedication to the character" they assign to a design to b an influence in judging comps !!!!!11

wtf didn't i address this in a different post

here let me link it for you

https://cs-discourse.tumblr.com/post/179841459154/post179838988303-the-difference-is-that-you-have

which was replying to this: https://cs-discourse.tumblr.com/post/179838988303/179837734509-idk-anon-i-kinda-agree-with-the

i said it once but i'll say it again: artist entries aren't main adopts lol. people don't work for artist entries. all you fucking do is post on one like "can i have this pls" .. there is... no effort put into that lol. main adopts you WORK for. it's a CONTEST. claiming an artist entry is NOT a contest. if a bunch of little nasty gremlins come running up to me like a hungry horde trying to be the first one to claim my design, i think giving friends first pick is COMPLETELY FINE, BECAUSE WHAT DID ANYONE ELSE DO TO "DESERVE" THAT DESIGN? nothing. you did. nothing. you're literally coming here with this attitude that NOT GIVING THINGS AWAY TO STRANGERS FOR FREE SOMEHOW EQUALS BIAS? i literally do not understand your logic whatsoever. like. i'm trying really fucking hard. at least with main adopts the "payment" is the effort you put in trying to answer the artist's prompt. i know i sound super dumb repeating myself but i don't know how much simpler i can make this concept tbh

and this is EXACTLY why i say ya'll are fucking entitled because merc and any of the kal artists could be making REAL $$$$ selling their own designs and adoptables and art and NOT deal with all the bs ya'll throw at them. they're literally here because the ENJOY MAKING ((( FREE ))) CONTENT for you, and they're not obligated to do this. they can stop whenever they want. if you had to pay per hour for the length of time collectively worked by ANY species artist staff, the lot of you would be fucking broke. i'm actually constantly shocked that species artists work like, 8 hours or more on some of these gorgeous designs just to give them away for free in a contest. 

so, yeah, as someone who hasn't spent my entire life on CS (i've only been here for a year and a half), ya'll seem pretty fucking entitled to me lol. the world outside CS rarely gives out such gorgeous designs in write-to-adopt contests so i'm honestly baffled at the amount of bloody entitlement i see

>bc artists Never weigh in on other artist's comps, so obviously thes ppl just want fwee merc designs !!!1!!1 

this part i don't actually understand what you mean. do you mean they... help judge other comps? or like, enter them? i don't get what you mean by "weigh in" but listen, lol. just because something DOES happen doesn't mean it gives you a good reason to assume the worst. i mean... of course it happens. it's statistically impossible for skewed contests and bias to NOT happen, because there's always going to be cases of it happening. but like, what proof do you have that merc will be biased lol? like, real proof? because your main point i've basically debunked and don't believe in at all. do better than "i cant bewieve ppl wouldnt want some1 whos literally explicitly stating at this point that they trust their friends more to "demonstrate dedication to the character" they assign to a design to b an influence in judging comps !!!!!11" because this doesn't make any sense to me for the reasons i already listed above lmao. if artist entries were supposed to be contests they'd be contests. what the hell makes you important enough to get first dibs on a stranger's work. ARTIST ENTRIES AREN'T EVEN MADE TO BE GIVEN AWAY, THEY'RE MADE AS ARTIST ENTRIES.... LIKE.... JESUS i struggle to understand ya'll

anyway im done here, if you wanna actually talk and debate this hmu on discord at lysander#9229 bc if you actually talk to me instead of spew this hot mess on the blog i might actually listen to you and change my mind and be nice about it instead of being a condescending bitch. 

wait one more thing

>also my last braincell just died pleas h

yea clearly

p.s., why do you ppl keep going to the blog to give critique on merc's designs when on literally every other design merc makes there's this:

https://www.chickensmoothie.com/Forum/viewtopic.php?f=38&t=3950980

here i even linked it for you. idk why it's so hard for yall to give constructive crit like decent human beings

[fagrackham]

:/

so today was a really bad adhd day n my mom is like "well you started your hw at nine of course you aren't getting it done" n its like i was gonna start it at 7:30 but you invited my aunt over so i chated w yall and then when i was going to start my work you took a comment i made abt my dad as an invitation to have one of our toxic bitchfests so i didnt actually start until like almost ten and then of course i got overwhelmed by everything because i dont know how to like activate my 504 plan or iep or whatever the fuck it is and people are relying on me and you cant then take my own overwhelm abt school to say that i should quit my job or call out this weekend when i have a bunch of games booked AND i was late on tuesday and i don't get shit done anyway!!!! i always say i have too much work to do but then i never can do it!!! the only reason why this shit was so hard today was that i dont care about the subject matter and i got a late start and i have nowhere legitimate to work!!! my desk at my dads is in my room there and i get distracted and theres nowhere at my moms that isnt the hallway style dining room or my bed n i just !!!! cant do it!!! and this feeling of not being able to complete simple homework assignments just reminds me of last year and how shitty that was and i feel like i'll never be able to do work again which i know isn't true but then its like im not gonna quit my job just because i got a little behind on school like that is more my real life than any of this nonsense and my mom reacts to my being upset by matching my tone and acting like i'm causing the problem and not in fact reacting to the problem at hand which is i had a bad homework day !!! but like whatever but also she cant talk about how i'm limiting myself in the schools i'm applying to and then act like i can't handle working a few extra hours a week !! like i'm pissed at everyone right now i'm taking saturday off to see my fucking sister but if i cant get into her 21+ i'll say im gonna stay home and do work but i will not be able to. and maybe if i had been able to get out of my bullshit history class i would have more time to get work done in school and i wouldnt be in this situation but alas!!!! and then its like on top of all that bullshit im transing my gender so aggressively and so internally that i think i might explode but like !!! i asked my mom to refrain from interrupting me and making what i was saying about myself into something about my sister and then she looked at me like i was being crazy and irrational and its like maam im trying to have a conversation with you !!! like am i overworked (even though i barely touch half the amount of business that everyone i know experiences) and incapable or am i smart enough for an ivy league and just being difficult like pick a fucking lane madam im trying to figure my shit out. jesus fucking christ. ugh. whatever.