#anyways. hi. if u have more coherent thoughts than me abt this feel free to ramble in the replies/reblogs

[s1x-foot-deep]

thinks about the crown as an allegory for addiction, of simon & marcy's relationship as living with a good parent gripped by addiction, of ice king as how addiction can change and isolate a person without them even realizing it until its already happened and nobody knows how to help. etc etc etc

[stuck-in-the-ghost-zone]

HIII MACINTOSH i forgor 2 ask this earlier BUT. free card 2 talk about ur cauldron thoughts now that u know they r doing unethical human experimentation & also the other two members of the triumvirate etc Know About It... if u want... do u have any pepe silva redstringing going on.... eyes emoji eyes emoji.... anyway HI i would love so much 2 bother u more abt deadwood & also worm stuff i have been. thinking abt fucking nhw all day. its dire. unfortunately it is friends & extended family socialization hours for mee <333 anyway hope u had a good day!!!

OUGH THE EXTENDED FAMILY SOCIALIZATION..... you are so so so strong dude. sending u all of my remaining energy in the form of LONG FUCKING POST ABOUT WORM LETS GO.

OKAY . put that under a cut bc i know I'm gonna ramble. I have so many thoughts and none of them are coherent.

FUCK CAULDRON MAN. LIKE . THEYRE AWESOME. BUT THEY JUST FILL ME WITH SUCH A SENSE OF DREAD. they feel like. to me. they feel like the Big Bad of worm . not so much in the final boss kind of way but in the "underground corporation that is morally bankrupt enough to do unethical human experimentation seems to have its fingers in basically every single cape organization out there." maybe that's overstating their reach a bit but. THE PROTECTORATE ?!?!?!? LEGEND!??!!??! the fucking slaughterhouse nine apparently !?!?!?!?!?!?! what are u gonna tell me next, they fucking. made one or all of the endbringers or something !?!?!?!?!?!?! (<< this is my most wild theory but in my defense i don't know anything about simurgh yet and that one seems suspicious in some way. if I'm right about this I'll crawl on my roof and scream at the sky.)

ok ok ok thoughts feelings emotions yes. but also. taking a second here to lay out the facts that I think I know so far. 1) cauldron is doing human experimentation (awesome for me). pretty straightforward. 2) AT LEAST ONE of the protectorate capes are cauldron-made. We know about legend (and battery but shes not at the same level legend is if i remember correctly). it was KIND OF IMPLIED???? that eidolon might be too??????? what the fuck were they talking about injections with him. sus. and if 2/3 are cauldron capes. why would alexandria be any different. what the FUCK the implications of this are insane. 3) they have also created VILLAINS. and while they say they actively discourage it, they also admit that they cant exactly stop it from happening. and also tjeyre proven liars. they specifically told battery to let siberian and shatterbird escape. siberian's creator/real body/whatever the hell he is to her had the cauldron brand. which leads me to think that shatterbird is probably a cauldron cape too. trying to cover their tracks???? pretty disastrous if two of the SLAUGHTERHOUSE NINE show up with identical tattoos that can be traced back to the shadowy underground organization that also created some of the most revered heroes. thats a fucking timebomb waiting to happen.

wait as im typing this. i think im confusing the protectorate and the triumvirate. you know what i mean i hope. i also know what i mean but unfortunately i am Stupid and there are So Many names. anyway moving on.

UHHHHHH . FUCK. theory wise. i dont know if i have any solid theories other than the fact that i think cauldron as an organization will turn out to be the bbeg. also that thing i said about the endbringers except thats less of a theory i actually believe and more of a "wouldnt that be fucking crazy huh". i dont think i have enough information yet to guess at their MOTIVES but... i think its going to turn into a "the whole system has been corrupt from the beginning and the difference between heroes and villains is more of an act to keep the rest of the world in check than anything else." i keep going back to that thing one of the brockton bay heroes said in the first wards interlude. where one of them said something like "that would ruin the show" thats a thing that happened right????????? the fuckingggg. merchandization of the heroes drives me a little crazy. theyre like celebrities. actually no theyre more like a sports team where you root for them to beat the "bad guys" and obviously its not that simple because the villains ARE terrible and are doing awful things with their powers a lot of the time (kaiser, the s9, etc etc) but also like... you have ppl like the undersiders and faultline's crew and the travellers. who are just like.... people with a goal. BUT YOU ALSO HAVE THE HEROES. WHO. fuck!!! after this last interlude!!!!! fucking alexandria and eidolon, two of THE MOST heroes in the world!!! are aware of and ambivalent to unethical human experimentation and will continue to allow it to happen!!!! and on a smaller scale youve got armsmaster (everything about him) and miss militia ("just shoot her in the head dont worry about it") and also the entirety of the child soldier- i mean wards program. like. its all so fucked. its all SO fucked!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! and cauldron probably has their greasy little paws in all of the leading parties!!!!!!

god i am so NOT good at putting my thoughts about this kinda shit into words but just know i have been fucking blender microwave comboing this for HOURS now. the kitchen is a MESS. i KNOW theres something im forgetting here. augh. may reblog this with more thoughts later. i was originally also gonna tlak about nhw a little bit but GOD im jsut thinking about cauldron now.

[justfor2am]

READ CHAPTER 17 WOOOOOOOO im trying smt different to help like .make my asks a bit more coherent by opening a google doc n typing out all my thoughts n then sending whoever the like summarized version bc my original version is always a mess (tho i can send it if ud like its just .messy like i said LMAO) but anyways THEIR INTERACTIONS THIS CHAPTER....... starting off strong w the "my place again next time?" "if you'll have me." GODDAMN..... shaking grian violently for sleeping in his binder i understand but STILL also the lil "xoxo" on the note scar wrote is so adorable n so in-character for him imo im loving it ALSO THE HICKEYS THING..... THE ENTIRE THOUGHT PROCESS OF SCAR WHEN HE SAW GRIAN IM SO also .did they like finish eating the pancakes at least before they started making out again <- i want pancakes now. im sick and ive been contained to dry cheerios and buttered toast i want PANCAKES........ anyways 10/10 chapter as per usual feel like this makes less sense than normal actually despite my efforts but i think i may be slightly delirious from sickness so !teehee its fine i am going to chew these two and their interactions like i am chewing my cheerios but better bc i love them and i sm not very fond of dry cheerios

if you like trying to make ur asks more coherent feel free but i fuck with the vibe either way, no worries king! LISTEN they were going at it last night grian was NOT abt to take off his binder during that. he's suffering now, did he learn his lesson? absolutely not, his clown ass WILL forget to take it off again

i feel like scar texts like a grandma anyways (or tries to w/ proper caps and punctuation) so him writing a lil xoxo :) at the end of a note? real. im manifesting it

LET SCAR GAWK AT HIS MAN 2K22!!!

also no. we will return to the pancakes hehe (EW not even like? honey nut cheerios man???)

the delirium is funny at least, hope u feel better soon!!

[the fic in question]

[adhduskull]

Bro danny phantom is so cool n stuff, infodump man!!!! Just,, yeet ur feelings about it. I love fanart n stuff of danny so gimy ur thoughts on it!!!

!!!!

Well, so first off I have a whole sideblog for it @superphlyduskull :3c if ur interested

Second this is straight up like. The most invested I've ever been in a fandom tbh, it's the first time I've posted anything and the first time I've attempted fanfiction!! (tho I haven't finished or posted anything yet) I recently thought up a headcanon that ghosts see more of the light spectrum than we do and that thats also how they become invisible, by only reflecting light humans can't see. I'd like to make a little fic abt it I think! Maybe one where a bunch of bugs follow him around bc I think it'd be cute

I think what really gets me about this fandom is the potential for worldbuilding. The show did close to fuck all in terms of exploring its own lore, but there were hints everywhere of how the world might work, and it's SO FUN to play with!! It leads to so many interpretations that are all equally plausible! Plus the huge amount of AUs inspired just by the source material... the way it lends itself to crossovers super easily as well, considering Clockwork has sent Danny into a different universe in the show (yknow, to stop the timeline where his family and friends and teacher die because he cheated on a test, eventually leading to him destroying the world...... there are some interesting morals in the show)

The angst potential is also insane, and I'm actually interacting with angst a lot more in this fandom than I usually would bc its so beautifully handled a lot of the time. Between identity reveals going wrong and the Guys in White getting a hold of him and Vlad being a shitbag to Danny being the GHOST KING

Ghost King Danny is probably one of my favorite AUs, I think partially bc its really fun to explore how insane it is for poor Danny to be saddled with this huge responsibility, and also to see how much power that gives him? Like on the one hand thats too much for a kid his age to handle and I feel like I might be projecting a bit since I was responsible for more than I would've liked from a young age, but also it reeeally spices up identity reveal scenarios and can save him too much grief in others bc depending on the take, a huge amount of the ghost zone has his back!! Like uhhh No, you are NOT going to mess with our King, [insert possible antagonist here]

It's also super fun to think of what ghost culture might be like, as well as just how ghosts work! We see glimpses in the show, but again, nothing is explored much? I love the universally accepted headcanon that ghosts have a vital organ called a core (though how it works varies greatly from person to person), and the idea that there are multiple ways a ghost forms (like from a being dying, or just forming from ectoplasm and strong emotions or big concepts, or being straight up born??). I've also seen the idea that a lot of ghosts don't really mean harm to Danny and that ghost culture is generally more violent bc they're not as squishy as humans!

Also!! There's gonna be a new graphic novel which is sick as hell! We don't know much more than that, but hopefully Nickolodeon doesn't mess too much with the creative team, because I'm really interested to see where they take it (especially since I think bitch fartman doesn't have any say in decisions? I'm not sure on that tho). Either way it's new content and I'm excited to see where the fandom goes with it too!

I have also realized the reason I don't infodump much is because I'm terrible at explaining things and trip over my words and am hard to follow lmao, particularly in person. You'd think that as an actor I'd be a little better with words but naaah lmao. I need to rehearse them for them to come out right apparently

Anyway idk how coherent that was but if u ever want to hear me ramble about dp feel free to send me more asks! Esp on my sideblog, I'm Always down down yell abt it!! Thank u for sending me that ask btw, it was really nice to do a bit of infodumping!!!💜💜💜

[dykeseinfeld]

u asked someone to remind you to post about your pjo dual protagonist thalia/bianca au and i am SO intrigued by this idea please say more

anon asked: hey queen hope your homework went good yesterday 🌸…now what were you saying about thalia and bianca 😳 ?

ok y’all i’m here...the moment almost none of y’all have been waiting for....bianca/thalia protagonists with alternating pov’s au

warning it’s kind of super long and may or may not read like a 2nd grader’s semi-coherent game of pretend so under the cut it goes!

so the main things you need to know about this au are 1. thalia survives and 2. annabeth’s + luke’s ages are a lil diff bc canon is my sandbox 3. i can’t decide if percy exists in this au or not (maybe y’all can help me decide?)

so the first book:

would start a few months after grover brought thalia (12), luke (13), and annabeth (10, not 7)  to camp half blood. they were chased by monsters sent by hades on the way, and thalia almost didn’t survive, but ultimately she got lucky and managed to send a bolt of lightning through her spear for the first time and they made it into camp

it’s been some time so annabeth is happy as a clam in the athena cabin doing her 10-year-old-with-severe-mommy-issues thing and luke is actually pretty popular with the hermes cabin bc he actually Met Their Dad Holy Shit and also he’s getting pretty good with a sword

at the same time, thalia is alone in the zeus cabin. everyone has been freaking out bc they all saw the huge bolt of lightning that incinerated a couple hellhounds as they made their grand entrance and What The Fuck Child Of The Big Three???

she’s also further isolated because chiron will take her for private training sessions sometimes, since she is clearly really powerful already and also Hades Himself was trying to kill her (chiron told her the reason was the big three’s pledge not to have kids, and maybe about the great prophecy? if he tells her that then she’s sworn to secrecy)

once grover leaves on another protector assignment, thalia mostly hangs out with luke, and annabeth. luke + annabeth both will try to eat meals with her at the zeus table but annabeth doesn’t want to get in trouble and luke is genuinely making friends in the hermes cabin so thalia will feel bad sometimes and send him back

kronos, seeing this bitter isolated child of the big three’s dreams: it’s free real estate

MEANWHILE

hades is Pissed that thalia survived and zeus got to break their oath And get the glory of a prophecy child

so he sends someone to take bianca (12) and nico (10) out of the lotus hotel and casino a little early.

grover is still their protector, but since the Stirring hasn’t begun in earnest yet and hades is lowkey determined to keep them safe, they make it back to camp half blood with no escort/incident

bianca + nico are put into the hermes cabin, and luke kinda takes them under his wing bc while he’s not bitter he still needs therapy bc this 14 year old has never met a pre-teen he couldn’t try to parent

luke introduces nico and annabeth since they’re the same age and they become really good friends!! she Loves mythomagic and he thinks her dagger is super cool and they’re both just really excited about camp <3

bianca is more reserved and resistant to the whole thing, and she wanders around alone exploring and runs into thalia in the zeus cabin

at this first meeting they get into a bit of a fight bc bianca is still in shock/denial about the gods being real, but thalia at this point has zero patience for this

anyway after that and maybe another scuffle during capture the flag or something they hit it off and become best friends in the way girls can, especially bonding over how they’ve both had to take on raising annabeth and nico basically on their own at the age of 12

~QUEST TIME~

thalia is given a quest for [unspecific reason] and chooses bianca and luke, they go off leaving annabeth and nico frustrated at home

quest hijinks etc, bianca is trying to figure out her parentage + her weird mysterious powers? and thalia is arguing with luke because he’s settling into camp/hero life really well actually but she’s getting progressively angrier with the gods for trying to kill her and also keeps getting dreams from kronos and doesn’t get why he doesn’t seem to remember all of the shit that the gods have put him through

bianca + thalia have las-vegas-style-heart-to-hearts where thalia shares her tragic backstory about her mother and her brother and how hades tried to kill her and even about the great prophecy and how she’s trying on this quest bc of that and her dad but at the same time these dreams are making her suspicious that he might’ve been responsible for her mom’s death.

bianca then shares her own stuff, about how terrified she was being on her own with nico having to protect him but also not remembering most of her childhood and not remembering her parents or how she ended up in the care of this lawyer and just the absolute mindfuckery that her memories/past are

luke is asleep in those scenes i guess lol 🧍‍♂️

anyway eventually they finish their quest in this massive climactic battle where bianca discovers her powers in a huge-showy-”i’m the ghost prince”-way and is formally claimed by hades which thalia sees as this Massive Betrayal obviously and bianca is horrified too because she knows what hades did to thalia but at the same time she’s just so happy to finally understand at least part of her past

thalia just reaches a breaking point though because everyone around her just doesn’t understand her anger and just when she thought she had found another sympathetic person who understood what she was going through she joins hades??? no. no fucking way. kronos reveals that he’s the one who has been sending her dreams, prob by sending some messenger who he possesses or smthing and when he offers thalia the chance to join him? she does (dun dun dun)

main beats of the rest of the series:

thalia and bianca on opposite sides of the war training to be the prophecy child, they come together a Lot and have like melodramatic fight scenes where they talk out their anger and try to get the other to join them bc they don’t want to kill each other

luke is extremely conflicted/betrayed and there’s a titan’s curse moment prob towards the end of the third book where they’re fighting and thalia is trying to get her to go with him but here he actually does go to join her (gasp!!) and is evil for at least one book but his heart’s not in it and he goes back to the good side eventually

by the point of luke’s betrayal, annabeth and nico are growing and developing and old enough to go on quests w bianca and by the last book they’re a main trio of sorts and their hypothetical character development is already making me emotional

there’s just a lot of general sexiness with foils and inner conflicts and bianca doesn’t even want to be the prophecy child but she needs to for the fate of the world and bianca is so angry at thalia bc thalia is a daughter of zeus and could control her powers and is perfect and just meant to be the prophecy kid, not some daughter of hades who they didn’t even have a cabin for before

hm maybe by either the last or second-to-last book thalia + bianca are close to reconciling or at least their interests are aligned for the moment and they read the text of the prophecy together and things go Wild bc they both think “single choice shall end his days” either is about luke or nico and it turns up the gas to their fighting both of them care about both of them and yeah

and then i can’t decide if there’s romantic arcs at all but if there were it would go like this:

just a dash of thaluke where at first it was luke having a one-sided crush but thalia misses him a Lot after she goes to kronos and wonders if it’s that she misses him or if it’s something More until to get him to defect there’s like a melodramatic moment in the fight where thalia kisses him and they go off to be Evil Together but it ends bc luke doesn’t believe in the cause and only joined her in hopes of getting thalia back to his side

once luke leaves/is kicked out thalia realizes that she didn’t love luke she just wanted a family and also in the second half of the series she realizes she’s a lesbian as a parallel to her redemption arc

bianca meanwhile is unconcerned w romance until she has her botl-hoe-moment where within one book she 1. runs into the hunters on a quest and has a thing with zoe nightshade who tries to get her to join plus tells her about that time she met thalia, 2. she goes to calypso’s island and falls in love w her in the moonlight or w/e and has her what-if moment, and 3. when they meet up that book thalia somehow knew abt zoe + calypso and seems almost angrier abt them  than the war?? weird bc bianca knows that thalia is Totally Straight right??

my main point is that bianca/thalia is our friends-to-enemies-to-lovers endgame thank you i will take my pulitzer now

[ennuijpg]

OOP..., thoughts on be mine?? I need other people to think for me rn, i can't think, i have junji's high note in repeat in my mind - 🕯️ anon

ANON HI HI <33 i have soo many thoughts and also no thoughts at the same time, just the mv and song playing on loop in my mind 😵💫

my thoughts are, it's soooo good, both the song and mv, it's sexy, it's romantic, it leaves room for rolo to expand on the story, it's everything <3 i absolutely adore the contrast in sound between the piano intro, the first two verses + chorus, and the third verse. the transition between the sounds was done sooo well, none of it felt jarring, but it still felt fresh/unpredictable (i might actually be okay with it being a lil more jarring bc i feel like ooo could pull off a sudden sound switch rly well, but what they have here sounds rly good, and they always have the future to experiment w diff types of switch ups)

and yes!! junhyung vocals!! i especially love his vocals in the post-chorus, esp the "baby will be mine" lines, he just sounds sooo smooth and sexy <3 and of course, the high note <33

the lyrics are soooo 😵💫 some notable fave lines of mine are

and the mv!! there was so Much happening there i feel like i dont have coherent thoughts, but some fave moments: rie whispering in junji's ear (sungho said on weverse that he said: "see you next time/let's meet again" which like,,,,he's so sexy im 😵💫), the paper cranes (!!), the tenderness of rie laying in junji's lap, the water hose scene, the popsicles, the back hug, and like ofc the ending (i realize i just listed like every scene in the mv p much)

story-wise, the vibes of mv junrie feel so distinct and different from mv kyujung, which is good bc i was a Tiny tiny bit worried that if all 3 units were gonna be doing romance storylines that they'd start to feel samey, but that doesnt seem to be the case at all <3 the whole thing w kyujung is that they were both unsure and building up the courage to be together and them finally feeling that joy of being free

with junrie, the hesitation is largely not there, both junji and rie have this confidence in their interactions, in their flirting that kyujung didn't, like the focus of junrie's story doesnt seem to be the struggle to feel safe and confident in one's sexuality, their characters are, at least more than kyujung, past that stage (this is an obvious oversimplification of things but u get me)

and sungho and junhyung did such a good job of portraying that confidence!! these two shots and their expressions in particular rly conveyed it well imo

but of course, there's also that moment in the cafe at the end right before the maybe-kiss, where there's tension and rie seems unsure of Something, it makes me think that perhaps rolo is going to be the fallout, the angst

overall, the story is giving me passionate summer fling, whirlwind romance that was never meant to last, like the way everything progressed much faster than kyujung's storyline paired with the tension in that last scene reads that way to me

but i may be wrong so we'll see!! speaking of, it seems i was indeed wrong abt the dark vs light/satanic tempter storyline, it seems like for these solos, they're going for smth more like,,,,down to earth (? that's not exactly the right phrase but i cant think of smth better rn) and less conceptually-dense lore heavy, which i personally find minorly disappointing bc i do love their conceptually dense lore, But these solos and their mvs have been sooo well done so far i rly have little to actually be disappointed abt (also, this is ooo we're talking abt, it's always possible this still does tie into their other lore in one way or another in the end)

anyways, those are my first impression thoughts for now! but lord knows i'll have so much more to say tmr and after too after i process this more askdf

[alittleemo]

thanks for tagging me gab @12monthoctober and eden @pianoandcookiedoughlover and faith @shades-of-greens <3 (i did not realize how many times i did not respond to this dfjhgjlkds you are all darlings <3)

1. why did u choose ur url?

i was tired at lunch one day and figured, ok im short, im also vaguely emo but not committed enough to go full out, so bam im both a little emo (as in noncommittal) and a little emo (as in short) <3

2. any sideblogs?

technically i have one now but i mostly have it to save the url, if i ever actually decide to start streaming ill prob make a blog specifically for that!! (though i think I’d use my alittleemo handle for it anyway so who knows then)

3. how long have u been on tumblr?

a little over a year now!! i think i made this blog in february of 2019 but started using it march/april of last year

4. do u have a queue tag?

i still do not know how to use the queue function dfjkhgkldjsjdflkh

5. why did u start your blog in the first place?

nearly all of my Pinterest feed was tumblr memes anyway so i figured why not go to the source of it all /hj. also i wanted to find more people into aftg and skam

6. why did u choose ur icon/pfp?

matching pfp with gab’s dsmp side blog!!! ae asked me if i wanted to match and i couldn’t pass up the opportunity :D (plus clingy duo / tommyinnit supremacy) i think it’s pretty fitting honestly <3

7. why did u choose ur header?

i love taking shitty pictures of jellyfish and i thought this one ended up looking really cool 

8. how many mutuals do u have?

13!! i have immense fondness for each of you <3

9. how many followers do u have?

39 babey!!!

10. how many people do u follow?

97 currently !!

11. have u ever made a shitpost?

what is anything i post if not complaining or making dumbass posts (affectionate)

12. how often do u use tumblr each day?

yikes. I mean like i am def here several times per day (its gonna be more now too now that its summer) but i feel like i sort of j scroll through my dash and only rb a few things compared to how much i actually see yk

13. did u ever fight/argue w another blog? who won?

no i hate confrontation but i also would rather j block someone trying to start smth w me

14. how do u feel about "u need to reblog these" posts?

going to steal celia and gab’s response bc yall are more coherent than me - sometimes it's too mentally draining to read abt terrible shit all the time. calm down. not everyone needs to read everything. i don't need ur guilt-trip rn. u can get across that a post is imp. w/o that statement. idk. sometimes i ignore them out of spite. i know that i rb a decent number of activism posts but i dont like those ones as much bc the guilt tripping isn’t the way to go

15. do u like tag games?

yes if u ever tag me j know i would instantly deliver cookies to ur house if i could <3 i do however often forget to respond to them until later (hi this tag is from over a week ago dfjkhgljdksh)

16. do u like ask games?

yes i love them immensely i j often again forget to actually finish them whoops

17. which of ur mutuals do u think is tumblr famous?

ik that i have a lot of relatively famous mutuals-in-law, but as for my own mutuals i’d say @lunawedlers and @lesbeanadiamcnll, i feel like yall have such good vibes in that respect <3

18. do u have a crush on a mutual?

like gab said, yes but platonically <3

tagging @coffee-and-moo, @alinastarkovaz, @lesbeanadiamcnll, @lunawedlers and any other mutuals who’d like to do so!!! (as always feel free to ignore as well <3)

[r0h1rr1m]

rambly inception thoughts bc i watched this movie for like the fifth time this week and i can’t let it go

i just saw a lil post about an umbrella academy/inception crossover and that au is not really relevant to this but it made me think. i got to wondering whether someone w superpowers would be able to use them in a dream, or if that would violate the suspension of disbelief/make-no-waves rules and call the projections down on u. the specific rules of this mechanism--and of forging, and limbo, and lots of other stuff--have a definitively movie-logic ambiguousness to them, but let’s say that using powers in a dream, even if you have them in real life, stretches belief a little too much and angers the projections. it would also explain why (from a watsonian perspective, at least) dreamsharers don’t just give themselves fantastic abilites to make things easier. (i kinda wanna go off on another tangent about what that implies about who you have fool, be it dreamer or mark or both, and the effect of varying levels of imagination, but few enough people are gonna read this whole thing as is :’))

but then (in this extremely niche and overly specific hypothetical situation, yes, i’m sorry) if powered ppl using real powers in a dream would be too unbelievable, it follows that dreamsharers would have to be at least slightly more boring versions of themselves in a dream, probably less skilled and just less weird. real life is consistently stranger and more unexpected than imagination

this is where this veers off into unrelated territory a lil bit bc then i started imagining the conversation that would happen if Ariadne started figuring this out or if Eames told her. without any effort at good or in-character dialogue, it might go something like this:

A <<so then the stablest/most forgiving dreams would be of the people with the most imagination? like children?>>

E <<probably, but who would go in the mind of a child?>>

A <<u literally make a career made a career out of violating people in a way so profound u’d have to be clinically paranoid to even worry about protecting against it, but u draw the line there? at children? why is it okay to do it to adults?>>

and so on until i started having some characterization hcs. bc i see Eames as the coldest/most ruthlessly pragmatic character in the movie (i’ve had conversations where ppl argue it’s Cobb, but he’s not ruthless. he is, in fact, sabotaging his own career w an overabundance of ruth. he’s just desperate and making some kind of myopic justifications. like that scene early on in the first level? i get the distinct sense that when he’s blowing up at Arthur he’s overcompensating to separate himself from the blame of a situation for which he’s at least 50% but arguably more responsible for. sorry tangent over) and i don’t think he’d worry abt this too much.

he knows that he lives his life in a bit of a moral gray area and unless he wants to make sm srs changes to his lifestyle there’s not a lot of point stressing. he’s not like totally relativistic, bc relativism isn’t that useful and he’s pretty utilitarian (i think these words also have, like, official philosophical definitions but idk anything abt that n i’m not using em that way), but he’s aware that a moral code is a tricky thing, even for ppl who are not international career criminals. rules like “no kids as marks” are easy to follow, and make simple, instinctive sense. i think he’d make a lot of moral decisions js on gut feeling.

in the hypothetical convo above where he tells Ariadne as much, mbe he adds:

<<if u want to talk abt it w someone who’s actually thought abt this, i’m sure Arthur has, but i don’t think it’ll make u feel better>>

bc Arthur is mbe a bit too good at compartmentalizing and justifications (not like Cobb, tho. Arthur is loyal to a fault and dedicated to looking after other ppl in a way he seems generally disinterested in doing for himself), seeing as he’s apparently the kind of person who can cheerfully ID someone’s murderer to their face and then just casually switch topics after like 5 words of explanation.

he’s characterized as v focused on planning/details and thoroughness/coherency, so it tracks that he’d want to articulate/organize his thoughts on Why I Do What I Do, but the subjectivity of his justifications would be especially apparent to Ariadne after this convo w Eames. and like, “convince ur friend to go to therapy” and “follow ur friend around the globe enabling his increasingly aimless and self-destructive mission to break into ppl’s heads for money” are on opposite ends of a spectrum i don’t want to know anything about. js bc this dude gets prissy abt Eames js Feeling Things Out and is convinced he’s Mr. Logic doesn’t mean his logic isn’t absolutely fckn buck-wild.

so Ariadne’s reaction to all this is what? it’s highly unlikely anything could make her give up dreamshare, so. are there legit alternatives to the criminal side of things? in the movie it’s not rly clear. when Dom goes to Miles and says that becoming a fugitive took away his legitimate options for his skills, it seems like that would imply there are, in fact, legitimate options. but then why was Miles only training/able to suggest a normal ass architect and not a dreamshare Architect?

anyway, the point is if legit dreamshare work exists, Ari could hand the work of deciding on ethics and regulations off to a boss or legislation. whether or not she’d choose to do that i think is a matter of personal hc and the movie could support it either way. if on the other hand, tho, only illegal uses for dreamshare exist, she has to find her own moral guidelines in criminal work (i like the hc that Arthur helps her be more selective than a newbie would typically be allowed to be. helps her vet jobs and keep from getting in over her head/beholden to someone. it just seems like something he would do. and mbe his reputation needs a little repair after however long he ran w an increasingly unstable and unreliable Dom Cobb, but if ppl like Eames are still calling him the best pointman he must have enough clout to help Ari get some good jobs). for myself, i think even if there are legit jobs Ari would choose to stay on the illegal side of things anyway, at least at first. she’s addicted to the limitation-free aspect of it, and, in the proud tradition of geniuses and prodigies everywhere, she’s demonstrably bad at taking censure/advice. she has to make her own mistakes. not to mention, her own morals might be a lil wobbly anyway, from how easily and entitledly she invaded Dom’s privacy. like, it turned out to be for the best, but it was still kinda fcked up

anyway surprise i wasn’t working towards any sort of point but i can’t stop thinking abt this movie and my family’s sick of hearing about it. thanks for reading. vote

[bintangy]

Hello Tangy, I love love LOVE all your Far Cry New Dawn pictures with the Seed Siblings and I Love seeing any new pictures of them you put out! I know you like the idea so I was wondering if you think they would actually stay with Joseph if they were in the new game? Like Jacob! I think he'd run off and be alone in his cabin with his sniper rifle haha. Him using a bow and arrows is pretty funny to me! Keep up the good work!

hello there !

first all, lemme just say thankyou :’) there is sweetness in knowing someone is happy to see something you made, so thankyou for telling me you are !

as to your second question, yeah it’s definetely something i’ve given a bit of thought to. i think, personally, you could write jacob (and john and faith) living in or out of new eden entirely depending on what events might transpire around them, so this is more of a spitballing thought exercise than anything concrete lmao.

but jacob….oh :(. short answer? i do think he’d stay. he loves john and joseph, and that would keep him there if nothing else, i feel. i don’t personally believe he’d want to be alone again - without them again - so i think any issues from him remaining would come from after they’ve already been in new eden for a while.

as with all of them, there would be issues that come from the peaceful existence new eden wants - the hardest part for him would be learning how to lean into that peace and not want to be on edge all the time.

like….to get into my personal jacob feelings a bit, simply put i think he’s motivated by a desire to live in survival mode. he wants to act on instinct, doesn’t want to think about anything, just do; you listen to the line ‘do you think i care if i die?’, and it’s tragic to me because it reminds me that all of his talk of survival just leads back to the fact that, at the heart of him, he doesn’t really care if he survives. 

this is kind of macabre, but generally when the threat of death becomes real, it does shit to your brain that makes everything else fall away and the only thing that matters is survival. everything else is trivial, it doesn’t matter, the only thing that suddenly matters is not dying (and you might be so desperate to not die you eat someone).

and i think jacob is chasing that feeling. and if it’s not truly wanting to live, then to at least not feel the part of him that doesn’t care about it.

so this is what i personally believe motivates him in part. going back to your question, the chores of:

going out to hunt and/or collecting other types of food

taking out potential threats like the highwaymen

crafting arrows and bows and weapons 

reinforcing perimeter security 

keeping people fit 

training his chosen

and etc., would appeal to his sense of ‘if we wanna survive [x] task needs doing no questions asked’ that he’s always talking about.

he can do those survival tasks in new eden. and i genuinely think he’d rather do them with john and joseph, even under potential restrictions, than do them alone. i think he might be away from new eden a lot, but i think he’d always come back.

i think he’d have trouble adjusting to how peaceful new eden is. i know i want him to live happily and indulge in that sort of….softness new eden does seem to give it’s people and be free to just chill out. and over the course of 17 years? i want think he could find a way to do it.

like…just thinking out loud, but you could do something with the tree, you know. would all the sibs have gotten a chomp at an apple? that would’ve been interesting - before the captain eats their own apple, all the seeds give you one of their classic monolouges relating to what they had to go through. 

uhh. anyway.

wow this got suuuupperrr long (and entirely abt jacob askksja), and i know it’s not particularly coherent and i apologise (but i’m never particularly coherent anyway unfortunately akjkasjk). 

and again, these are all just my opinions, and i don’t know absolutely every part of jacob meta, so i’m not preaching this as gospel ; u; to nonny, i hope it’s ok ! and thankYOU for asking

[beverlyr0ad]

crimes of grindelwald thoughts

alright obvious spoilers not that it matters bc i have one follower lmao but !! i need somewhere to scream abt this movie

first of all i love jacob and newt so much. best parts of this movie honestly i love them and i want them to be happy 

but to be fair i actually rlly rlly enjoyed watching this movie!! like,, there are a looot of things i dont understand about it and i have no idea how they happened or why theyre happening but thats Okay i would still recommend everyone watch it! its so good!!!

good things:

- grindelwald !! i mean,, no hes not a good thing but i really liked how they wrote his character. like i can UNDERSTAND the power he has over people and how hes manipulating them. hes really not just a Voldemort 2.0 and i respect that a lot bc thats not what an entirely different villain should be like. but casting issues and all aside i really liked this

- i also liked the interaction between leta lestrange and dumbledore that was some good stuff and the actors were rlly good too !!! - i like the direction queenie is going in. i mean i dont actually of course but it seems realistic and i think its important and its good character development n stuff so hhh hope that works out later tho !! i am Suspense

- jacob walked into that movie and i was like !!!!!!!!! :DDDDDDDDDDDDD i love him so much and it was rlly nice to see him back even if i dont think it was that neat to have him lose his memory of everything that happened for significance and in this movie have everything go like WHOOMP hes back but i uhhhh loved it anyway so this is not a complaint its a good thing - i still loved newt and having a good main character makes the whole movie a better watch in general. ive seen sequels where i just Cant get attatched to the new characters but wow i didnt really have much of a problem with that here

- it was also never boring and i really just loved n enjoyed this movie a lot!!!  okay hhh bad things/things that i personally disliked:

- ive seen different opinions on this but??? what was that blood pact????? what are u doing??????????????? i cant even be coherent properly so here are the main reasons that was rlly dumb

1- w-who does that in a romantic relationship ever :o and yes jkr has literally said dumbledore n grindelwald were in LOVE HELLO feel free to correct me if im wrong on anything but if ur gonna say it u should show it,,,, Continuity Please. anyway separate issue but if u love someone youre not gonna be like “hey lets make SURE we dont fight each other ever” because youll trust that the other person?? isnt gonna fight u???!!!???? im

2- thats literally not the reason he “cannot move against grindelwald” okay like it shouldnt be. this conversation literally happens in dh and dumbledore says he was scared of facing what rlly happened when ariana died!! there was no actual physical thing stopping him!!! the only acceptable justification is that he doesnt want to face this ghosts of his past and that moment and he is SCARED okay so COME ON give dumbledore his faults! hes scared of his past and that IS the reason!!

3- wait how did grindelwald, aberforth, and albus fight if they had already entered a blood pact. like i dont think albus would aim for his own brother EVER but could he even attack grindelwald if they had a blood pact?? not sure how this works lol but who was he aiming for then??? just firing everywhere randomly without intention cause that sounds,,, significantly harder to believe and makes that scene loads messier esp if grindelwald couldnt aim for albus either so

4- the blood pact was so frickin unnecessary im sobbing. like there was the scene where its all like “oh some say you were as close as brothers” and dumbledore is like “oh we were closer than brothers...” and im like OK! the little scene in the air doesnt explicitly reveal anything either so thats ok but the closer than brothers line was rlly revealing for me. at least for like two minutes and then dumbledore looked in the mirror and saw himself making a blood pact w grindelwald. like ok is That what u meant by closer than brothers bc thats what everythings pointing to but it shouldnt be and i.............ugh

5- im honestly just kind of hhhhhhhhhhhh. i can concede that the blood pact might be significant in later films and i look forward to watching them! but. at the same time i. wish that if you were going to say dumbledore was gay it would actually be explicitly referenced in the movie, instead of dancing around that and dropping it in hints and pieces that fans of the series who know this information will understand and others can just dismiss as friendship! there were So Many good places in this movie to include this fact (altho feel free to disagree w me haha) and i think that not including this fact was honestly tiring.

- nagini...........obv this isnt a huge problem bc idk where her story will go next n it might develop n become important but as of rn, i have no idea what her role in this movie is. i wonder if her reappearance in the harry potter series will actually be of significance and if itll be explained how she will end up under servitude to voldemort bc i genuinely dont understand right now. it just seems like a cameo to draw attention in the trailer ghgdjh

- leta lestrange’s death didnt feel right or impactful and im sad . definitely a huge opinion here but it felt like a mandatory character snuff to make the movie sad and ghdsjgfh oh well :(

- little continuity issues?? dumbledore being DADA professor instead of transfiguration bc Boggarts Are Important For Foreshadowing. also how is mcgonagall an adult or actually how is she even alive and um of course the fact that this movie doesnt confirm what jkr has said about dumbledore and grindelwald beforehand. 

- im actually going to totally repeat myself bc this deserves a separate point umm why arent dumbledore and grindelwald actually shown as in love with each other as young men. its completely relevant to the movie and its not hard to put it in there instead of the bLOOD PACT (ask anyone irl ive been screaming abt the blood pact ever since i came out of that movie). anyway i know david yates said he wouldnt be including that as part of the movie as fans are aware of that aNyway but its not that hard to understand. people are asking for actual representation?? not smt vague??? because this is just here to Please People. if u refuse to see this ship, ure just gonna see them as having a friendship! maybe u havent heard about what jkr said or maybe ure choosing to ignore it bc,, idk that says smt about u, or maybe another reason idk! but if u go into this knowing they were In Love and hoping to see confirmation of dumbledore being canonically gay, youre going to hear that “oh, we were more than brothers” line and be like oh yeah we been knew, or more seriously like hey! maybe we’re getting a canon confirmation, not just floaty young people leaning towards each other! like when he looked in the mirror i was like okay This Is It this is gna be confirmation but then it wasnt oop. it was the !!! bloooood paaact !!! which means that people could interpret the “closer than brothers” line as meaning oh we done did a blood pact that means we blood related look at us go! Wow! so this is basically just a half azzed attempt at pleasing people w stereotypical viewpoints and people happy to see representation. hmmmmmmmmmm.. (psst if u actually ship older dumbledore n grindelwald tho What Are You Doing Stop !! thats not a healthy relationship, grindelwald is an awful person and dumbledore deserves to grow from the person he was before!!! he deserves so much better!!! im not saying to ship them but im saying that if we’re gonna say they were in love as young men and if we are going to confirm that dumbledore is gay well,,, lets put that in canon pls!!!! we need canon representation but we dont need to pretend this ship is healthy or good bc its representation either. this isnt shipping this is asking to acknowledge that dumbledore was gay and in love with grindelwald and its confirmed that grindelwald was in love with him too. in the place the story of tcog is now, that relationship is not ever going to happen again and if u actually think it is ure suffering from some next-level delusion. just be definitive and acknowledge that your characters are LGBT tho pls!! u said they were!!! actually i would be so much happier to see a Happy And Healthy LGBT Pairing can we have that? please?)

- big spoiler but hOW IS CREDENCE ALBUS’ BROTHER WHAT IS HAPPENING DKFJDKSH i need to separate my thoughts again

1- AGE DIFFERENCE........apparently dumbledore is like 46 in this movie right?? credence doesnt look over 20. okay percival dumbledore is put in azkaban before albus starts school right?? so the maximum age albus can be is 11. now im gonna say that kendra was not having any more kids w anyone else after that incident fs so the oldest albus can be when ariana is born is 12, leaving room for some other stuff okay. ALBUS AND CREDENCE DONT LOOK LIKE THEY HAVE A 12 YEAR AGE GAP WHAT IS HAPPENINF

2- i saw people theorizing that credence is ariana’s son and NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO PLS NO

3- not an actual issue but i thought grindelwald said his name was berrylius dumbledore which i later remembered as berrylium dumbledore and anyway thank god for the internet

4- okay at this point i cant tell if this has just been brought in for shock value or smt like. is this relevant to the plot. is grindelwald even telling the truth. w-why did the movie end there. help....... i think thats it but i do want to say that i respect the rights of the creator jkr to do whatever she wants w these characters. its her world! but i can have a whole bunch of opinions n feelings about this movie and still support it. after all, i love harry potter and the whole wizarding world w my whole heart. 

did anyone even read that LOOOL that was so long sorry

[mynlov]

10/12/17

went to see a rlly sad play today: people, places and things

it wasn’t the best thing i’ve ever seen in my life but at one point the main character talked abt feeling like she couldn’t take herself srsly enough to prioritize her own happiness / it was also abt acting and playing parts and they rlly made me think abt who we are etc, all that deep stuff that’s been thought abt so many times it’s like dirty laundry that u can never wash haha

but anyway i believe in intrinsic value, maybe bc i have to and i realized that or maybe bc idk whether i believe in god or not (probably not) but i need sth to hold on to, who knows

it was good not to be in lessons though and i got enough sleep last night and i caught up on work / i made a slightly depressing post on my priv ytd and **** asked me if i was ok during break today and i felt rlly bad and tried to explain that i don’t want ppl not to think i’m ok but then i felt stupid bc there’s no possible explanation for making that post aside from being ridiculously self-absorbed

i was talking to **** the other day abt how i found out that there are 2 types of ppl, selfish or altruistic and that you can be on the spectrum but there is no sitting on the fence and there IS a turn-over point / and how i know some ppl (...) who r so inherently selfish even when caring abt other ppl that they can never let go of themselves or prioritize anyone else and it’s rlly sad bc they end up treating the ppl that love them like shit (it shouldn’t be THAT sad bc the ppl who love her only love her bc they’re family, it’s like obligatory love. i technically hate her. i mean there’s probably people who do love her as a person but i cannot understand them. how can you love somebody who will never treat you like they love you more than they love themselves. and yet there is the ugly truth? about me? why do i need somebody to love me more than they love themselves? do i love anyone more than i love myself? yes... sometimes. i think i have the potential to, but then again i always say that potential is not enough sooo)

but back to what i told ****, i think i’m inherently selfish as well even though i would often pick other ppl over myself / even so i always feel sorry for myself, am aware of my own presence in situations and can’t get rid of the idea that i don’t like the shape of my presence, it’s awkward, always too big and attention-seeking and i thought i learned to let it bother me less but i think now it bothers me more and more

and i keep thinking about university and how i can’t wait to be around a bunch of people who don’t know me so i don’t have to speak to them and ruin everything / but also i wonder if i’ll just speak anyway and say too much all over again and then ppl will know me for who i am (but it’s strange to be an ambivert or whatever bc i feel sort of like an empty shell, like what i tell everyone is what i THINK i feel but what i actually feel is so different that i can’t put it into any sort of coherent sentence. i just want ppl to be happy though, i do know that. i’m kind of scared in a weird and incomprehensible way that if i stay here much longer, which i will for a while until i leave school, everyone will know too many things abt me which i thought were true when they found them out, but which might not be true now or might never have been true. and then there’ll be a bunch of ppl out there who know things abt me that i don’t want to be known, either because i don’t like them or because they are not true. and will i get rid of this persona that i’ve created for myself while i was too busy being tired/angry/sad/scared? aaaaa)

this morning i saw mr ***** walking his kids to school again and we waved at each other, it makes me feel so happy when i see people who have lives with shape and a sort of purpose (not in a dramatic way, as in: i like looking into people’s houses when u can see through the windows because it’s dark and seeing their rooms and people sitting at their desks, because my life here doesn’t often have shape. only when i’m on the beanbags with **** and *** watching tokyo ghoul or a movie or when i’m drinking shhh with **** and **** and *** or when i’m walking around town with **** or generally when we’re sitting in a place that isn’t as in-betweeny or scent-less as a boarding house) and i also love seeing children bc i think being a child is so weird and free and i wish i’d been less dramatic about having nothing to do when i was a kid. i also wish i’d been less of a perfectionist and enjoyed what i had while i still had it (time, mostly. i had SO much time). mr ***** has a dog and he talks to his children but they never say anything back. the other day he said something to me in passing and touched my arm and it was so friendly and it honestly made my day so much better...why? i think i need to be around new people, really badly. even being with ***** was like breathing fresh air after being inside all day. it was also that, of course, since i was outside properly for the first time in ages. 

anyway, i feel a little bit better now but i shouldn’t procrastinate or everything will go to shit again! now i’ll try to do a load of work :/