#anyways yeah . smiley face

[phibsies]

a few lego stuff i drew for the gram

[sracha]

taiyang compilation :|

[birdiepaws]

behold. the shippiest thing I've ever drawn.

[hotshotriot]

thinking about the western comics industry again and can i just say i'm Shocked there has yet to be a major equivalent to manga magazines here. like i would kill to be able to pump out comic chapters to a big crowd without having to worry about 1. coloring 2. the publisher imploding on itself before i'm done

[after-nine-at-the-oasis]

AAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

That's about several things :). One of which being!

AAAAHHHHHHH THEY ACTUALLY GOT ENGAGED :'DDD!!!!

Y'all have no clue how nervous I was in the scene that it was a mislead xD

But yeah I loved this episode!!! I thought it was really good :)). The pacing did feel a little off to me but I'm pretty sure that's because it took me 40 minutes to watch the Nigel and Isaac scene

XDD I had to pause and freak out a lot okay (as the scene started I literally left and panic-watched YouTube shorts for 10 minutes)

But seriously I'm so happy for them :'))) They love each other so much and they totally deserve it :D 🥰

Also AAAHHHHHH Alberta forgave Hetty :'DDD!!! I'm so happy for them :')). Also poor Hetty rooming with Flower xD. You'll be okay bestie lol

And YAYYY AAHHHH we didn't lose the house!! Slay :DD. So glad it wasn't even just as "oh well we are related but you can keep it" thing lol

Also that montage at the end was so cute and lovely :'DDD y'all I love them so much 😭😭❤️❤️❤️🥰 I can't :')) 🖐️😭😭❤️ (hand for the "I can't" lol)

And the ghosts were just hanging around this episode were great too obviously xDD. Like the ghost tribunal group lol - amazing xD. Also their reactions to Isaac and Nigel getting engaged were so cute :'DD 🥰🥰🥰.

And lastly:

AAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

WHAT THE H E C K??!?!!!?

THAT BETTER BE SOMEBODY COMING DOWN FROM HEAVEN OR ONE OF THE BASEMENT GHOSTS GETTING SUCKED OFF OR SOMETHING (SORRY GUYS)

And even though I would absolutely despise losing any of our ghost babeys it especially better not be Nigel or Isaac xdd.

Anyway! Freaking out, thank you :'))

Seriously though, it was a great episode and a really good and sweet finale :'))) 🥰🥰🥰❤️

[littlewigglyworms]

i love the human urge to draw smiley faces. im on a bus full of my classmates, its cold and raining outside so the windows are fogged up, im looking around and almost every window has a smiley face on it.

[defiant-firefly]

I'm going out to get the things I want to experiment with next tomorrow and one of those things is nail varnish so I have a big question for people that know anything about that stuff...

If I were to paint a smiley face on my nails, which way round is it supposed to be? Like... How is this stuff supposed to be oriented? I suppose with the smiley face, would the eyes be near the end of the nail or the beginning? Does this make sense what I'm asking yet?? Help????

[suiana]

fellas, have you ever wondered if a man could ever be as adorable and cute as a baby kitten? well now you can experience and love on in real life! suiana presents to you innocent! yandere and smitten reader ❤️

your very own innocent boy who doesn't even know what NNN or OF means. his instagram feed is full of baking and and clothing ideas, he goes out to help stray animals, and he goes on daily walks to the park to reconnect with nature. he has no idea what a skibidi toilet is, brain completely nourished with the books he borrows from the library. yeah, this guy smells like bread and cookies too btw, he does lots of baking. and cooking. have i mentioned he's completely skilled in the kitchen? yeah, he is.

by some stroke of luck, you meet him one day and... look, he's just the cutest thing ever! i mean, he's fashionable, smells good, and was even defending a stray dog from being bullied by some kids. so you ask him out on a date, but the second you ask him the question you swear you could just die on the spot... because tell me why his entire face is red and he's genuinely so happy??? all smiley faced and blushing like a tomato???

oh it's his first time getting asked out and he's flustered??? he's never been approached by anyone before??? he thinks you're really attractive and he would like to go out on a date too??? oh my god guys, he's even asking if you're comfortable with him rambling like this and not trying to get too close without your consent😭

anyway the two of you go out on a date and you think you just might marry him on the spot with how much of a gentleman he's being??? INSISTING on paying for your meal, respecting your distance and being genuinely curious about you on a deeper level. no mention of hooking up, being casual fwb or anything like that. he's... actually looking for a serious relationship unlike your previous partners? holy shit? so you asked him his thoughts on cheating and some other stuff...

"so what are your thoughts on cheating?"

"cheating?"

"yeah, like when you get with someone else when you're dating."

"isn't that illegal?"

HELLO??? he thinks cheating is ILLEGAL??? you had to spend the rest of your date trying not to cry or hug him because he ended up finding out some devastating news.

"yes... cheating is illegal unfortunately."

"I don't know why. it should be illegal, that is a very bad thing to do 😦 do people actually cheat? really? no way."

UGRHGRGR you two end up dating and he's the sweetest guy you've been with. cute date nights, reassurance that you're perfect and enough, handmade gifts and deep talks into the night that deepen your bond together... the only problem is just that maybe he's a little too sweet.

he's constantly buying you gifts, telling you how much he appreciates you and just... being the perfect boyfriend? the perfect clingy boyfriend.

at first you found it cute. but...

why is he so in love with you? why is he so nice? you don't know what to do with a man as sweet as him and can only give into his seemingly harmful actions. you used to think that he had an ulterior motive but... you don't know whether you're being deceived or not. why would you? he's not being manipulative. how could he ever be manipulative? he's just a sweet and nice green flag!

asking you to always be with him? that's just a romantic thing everyone else says. chasing away any people who shows the slightest bit of interest, even if it's not confirmed to be romantic? what kind of boyfriend would he be if he didn't do that? asking for your location if you ever try to go out without him? silly lover, why would you worry him like that?

no no, he's not being possessive. okay, maybe he is. it's just a tiny bit though! surely you're fine with that. after all, he's still treating you like the royalty that you are. he should be allowed some grace for his unwillingness to share.

you're not sure whether or not he's truly innocent or not. was he even innocent to begin with? maybe, maybe not. perhaps it was all just an act...

but you shouldn't think that. why would you think badly of your boyfriend who's only ever been sweet to you? even during fights, he doesn't raise his voice and actively listens to you, trying to resolve the issue. he could never want to hurt you.

after all, he's your innocent boyfriend that you're smitten with, right?

[wh3nth7hornbush]

Would u guys commission me? I can do loads of diff styles idk. Like u should DM me and I can send u style ref pics and we can discuss pricing. I also have no clue how 2 do payment and stuff so they would b like free commissions? Idk.

[darling-flora]

a sunday kind of love

fc : yesly dimate

charles leclerc  x interviewer!yn

Notes: Im not really a follower of the wag's so if your a "fan" of ASM you might not like this b/c she's a "villain" kinda (not really?? but idk) also this took me so long because nfl season started and im stressed 😫 ANYWAYS hope you like it rt's are appreciated !!!! ❤

f1gossip

Liked by username1, username2 and 159,944 others

f1gossip Charles Leclerc and Alexandra Saint Mleux have confirmed their split after messages where she admitted to using Leclerc for fame leaked by a mutual friend of Leclerc and Mleux.

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username1 ohhhhh and yall hated everyone saying that she had bad vibes 🤭

username2 the season just ended??? bros gonna be alone for winter break 😭

username3 what about the messages of her being jealous of y/n interviewing charles 🤭

↳username4 i mean almost every driver flirts with her 😭 ↳username5 i hope they get together honestly 🤷‍♀️ every time she interviews him he's smiley, even if he's had a bad race 🥺 ↳username6 nahhh y/n was always a bit weird towards her, i wouldn't be surprised if she wanted charles ↳username5 SHE was weird, because when y/n tried to say hi to her she was being SOOOO fake 😭 ↳username7 yeah there's a video of them first meeting and SHE looked y/n up and down then when y/n turned around she made a face...... so y/n is NOT the problem

username8 she hasn't been at any races since the belgian gp, so they had to of been broken up for like three months???

↳username9 yeah i think so, the messages that were leaked were from early july don't know why it took them three months to say something tho ? ↳username10 maybe to not distract from him racing ?

username11 the friend ate for leaking the messages

username12 she really tried to lock him in with that dog 😭

↳username13 he kept the dog in the divorce anyways 🤭

username14 both carlos and charles in their single era 💅

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yourinstagram

Liked by charles_leclerc, joeyb_9 and 559,944 others

yourinstagram Bits of the 2023 season !! Looking forward to next year ❣

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username1 the lewis pic is iconic !!

maxverstappen Im an incredible artist

↳yourinstagram in someone's eyes maybe ↳maxverstappen wtf ↳maxverstappen i take back every time i've said your my favorite reporter ↳yourinstagram well we both know thats not true ↳maxverstappen yeah your right 😔 ↳username2 why do i love them 😭 ↳username3 there interactions are always so funny 🤭

username4 everyone's favorite reporter 🙌

bengals Every NFL press room misses you !! But mostly us 😔

↳yourinstagram I MISS YOU ALL TOO !!! 🐅🧡 ↳username5 she went from interviewing 6 foot nfl players to 5 foot f1 drivers 😭 ↳username6 the only reporter to make Burrow and Herbert smile after a bad game 🥲 ↳username7 she did nfl reporting ?? ↳username6 yep ! she did nfl and f1 reporting at the same time but the past two years she's only reported on f1 !!

username8 y/n being friends with all the drivers is my favorite thing

username9 Hi perfect woman!

charles_leclerc We got two pics carlossainz55 😮

↳carlossainz55 We have to aim for at least 1 more next year 😉 ↳yourinstagram you two are always plotting and scheming.... 🤨 ↳charles_leclerc Lies ↳carlossainz55 Lies ↳yourinstagram right....

username10 literally breathtaking. a disney princess

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yourinstagram Story

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charles_leclerc so your in malibu ? 👀

yourinstagram maybe.... 👀

charles_leclerc well i may be in malibu as was well 😁

yourinstagram mhm what a coincidence 🧐

charles_leclerc sooooo charles_leclerc do you wanna get lunch or something ? charles_leclerc maybe tomorrow 👀

yourinstagram i’d love too 😁

charles_leclerc i'll text you the details then i'll pick you up !

yourinstagram sounds perfect !! see you then 😊

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yourinstagram

Liked by charles_leclerc, yourbff and 859,944 others

yourinstagram dinner and a date ❤

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username1 GOD IS A WOMAN

username2 what a face 😍

yourbff with... who i think it is?👀

↳yourinstagram maybe...

username3 Keep shining beauty 💫

username4 can whoever your on a date with fight ?

francisca.cgomes miss u already ❣️

↳yourinstagram hope to see you soon beautiful 😙❤

username5 my girl crush fr

username6 joe burrow and justin herbert just fell to their knees

↳username7 so did half of the f1 grid... 😔 ↳username8 unless it's one of them 👀 ↳username6 burrow isn't in la but herbert is 🤔 ↳username7 a hand-full of f1 divers are in la right now tho 😩

username9 the type of picture i would put in a locket and take to war

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charles_leclerc

Liked by yourinstagram, oscarpiastri and 6,559,944 others

charles_leclerc Summer over. 2024 season here we come ❤🏎

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username1 LEO LECLERC !!!!!!!!!!

username2 now who is that

username3 who is this diva?

username4 photo dump game is getting STRONGER

username5 HES ALIVE EEVEYONE CHEER

username6 THE LAST PIC ????

username7 I don't know which is more beautiful, the view or charles

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yourinstagram

Liked by charles_leclerc, username1 and 859,944 others

yourinstagram A Sunday kind of love ❤

view all comments

username1 now whose arm is that...

username2 ARE YOU READY FOR BHARAIN ????

↳yourinstagram Sadly no !! I'll be back to work at the Saudi Arabian GP !!

username3 *bows to you*

username4 u serve like no one else

maxverstappen Hello..... 🤨

↳yourinstagram whats with the face... ↳maxverstappen the cats were expecting a visit..... ↳yourinstagram OMG I FORGOT PLEASE TELL JIMMY AND SASSY IM SORRY ↳maxverstappen they wont forget this.... 😔 ↳yourinstagram NO PLEASE I'LL SEND THEM TREATS AS AN APOLOGY ↳username5 i know they are just friends but they have so much chemistry it's crazy 😵

username6 you’re my roman empire

username7 both charles and y/n soft launching.... if 2+2 = 4 then.....

username8 This woman makes everything she wears look good

username9 THOUGHTS ON LEWIS TO FERRARI ???

↳yourinstagram SO SO SO excited !!!

username10 well i adore u

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yourinstagram

Liked by charles_leclerc, username1 and 959,944 others

yourinstagram JEDDAH PHOTO DUMP !!!! My first weekend to start the 2024 season and what a weekend it was, glad Carlos is feeling better (we are appendix-less buddies now) max p1 checo p2 and charles p3 !!!!!!!! and a HUGE congrats to Ollie for scoring points in his f1 debut !!

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username1 Our princess is back!

username2 You’re unreal, you’re such a masterpiece, you’re angelic 

maxverstappen I expect to be in every photo dump

↳yourinstagram so sassy 🙄

username3 how could anyone be this perfect

olliebearman Thank you !!!! 😁

liked by yourinstagram

username4 We love you princess

francisca.cgomes I’m the leader of your fan club ❤️

liked by yourinstagram

username5 My favorite Woman is back!!!!

charles_leclerc The last pic is my favorite

↳yourinstagram mhm wonder why.....🧐

username6 The angel we all need

username7 i cannot get over how absolutely stunning you are ????? help

username8 Blooming 💅🏼

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yourinstagram

Liked by charles_leclerc, username1 and 859,944 others

yourinstagram HELLO HELLO !!!! Australia, Japan, China, Miami PHOTO DUMP !!!! The start of the 2024 season has been a bit stressful but ALSO so so so fun

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username1 please hard launch soon i cant take the suspense 😩🙏

oscarpiastri Some very intense racing going on in the 4th picture

liked by yourinstagram

username2 y/n the woman you are, thank you for the pics🧎🏻‍♀️

lilymhe Gorgeous angle 📐 👼

liked by yourinstagram

username3 you've a bit more down this season 💔 hope your taking care of yourself !!!

↳yourinstagram Don't worry I am !!! The weekends can be a bit stressful is all, hopefully lessening the work load will help ❤ ↳username3 sad if there is less y/n but glad your prioritizing yourself !! ❤

username4 you always have the best bts pictures thank you 🙏

username5 literally the it girl

francisca.cgomes You are everything and more 💌

liked by yourinstagram

username6 serving cvnt as always

landonorris Im everyone's favorite part of this photo dump

↳yourinstagram you keep telling yourself that

username7 Oh hi pretty girl

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yourinstagram

Liked by charles_leclerc, username1 and 2,859,944 others

yourinstagram Italy ⭐

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username1 Real life princess indeed

landonorris podium 😎

↳yourinstagram who? ↳landonorris who what ? ↳yourinstagram asked... ↳landonorris wtf ???

username2 ik y/n freaked out seeing vettel 🤭

username3 in italy but no gp ?? do you job 🙄

↳yourinstagram Yes ! I was at the race just not reporting, Luke who is an incredible reporter is going to be doing a few races this season. ↳yourinstagram Race weekends can be a bit overwhelming and hopefully having the option of letting someone else report we'll help lessen the negative effects of the job for both of us !!! Hope that answers your question ☺ ↳username4 "Hope that answers your question" oh she ate that 🤭

username5 all the red..... she has to be dating either charles or carlos

username6 wait is she dating the dude in the 6th pic ????

↳username4 nope !! thats luke gooding a reporter and he has a girlfriend !!

username7 yall need to stfu about who she's dating omfg

francisca.cgomes i love you pretty girl

↳yourinstagram love ya 💫

username8 ughh face card sister oml

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f1gossip

Liked by username1, username2 and 159,944 others

f1gossip Charles Leclerc and reporter Y/n L/n were spotted shopping in Monaco ahead of the Monaco GP.

Do we think they're dating ?

view all comments

username1 this is so serious for me....

username2 YES THEY ARE DATING !!! they have not been subtle about it, they flirt in their interviews, charles has been posting her cats in his insta stories for WEEKS ….

↳username3 they’ve probably been together for a while honestly…. glad they feel comfortable being more public tho 🫶

username4 they are being more public together while his ex is liking hate post about y/n.....

↳username3 she's always liked weird shit on socials, so im not surprised lmao

username5 wait they were in cali at the same time AND y/n posted a picture saying dinner an a date....

↳username6 so they've been seeing eachother for like 6 MONTHS ??? ↳username7 we dont know if they're together?? they were just hanging out... ↳username6 after the double date and this......i don't think it's really a question if they're dating 😭

username8 they are definitely hard launching this weekend

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charles_leclerc

Liked by yourinstagram, oscarpiastri and 6,559,944 others

charles_leclerc Happy birthday to the hardest working, sweetest, and most beautiful creature I've ever known, I adore you and love you more than you know ma chérie ❤

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username1 IS HE QUOTING HARRY STYLES SONGS ???? MY HEART CANT TAKE THIS 😭

username2 I love this couple! So beautiful ❤️

yourinstagram oh i love you so so much mi amor !!! 🥲🫶

↳charles_leclerc You are my world 🌍 love love you ❣

username3 The way he is looking at her is every girls dream

username4 the way you tagged her on your heart 🥺 happy bday y/n we love ya ❤️

leclerc_pascale Happy birthday to my favorite girl ❤ Always a smile on the two of your faces when i see you guys together ❤️

↳yourinstagram Awww love ya ❤

landonorris lucky guy 😔

username5 It's not fair that you're living my dream, perhaps the dream of millions.

username6 The most gorg pair

username7 I don’t think there is a more beautiful looking couple on earth

username8 OMG MY PARENTSSS

username9 You guys !! Love looks good on u both ✨

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yourinstagram

Liked by charles_leclerc, username1 and 2,859,944 others

yourinstagram Monaco 24' !!!!! What a dream to see Monaco love you back mi amor. Such a sight to see you on the top step of your home race, you have deserved this win for so so so long !!! i’m so proud of you and i love you endlessly ❣️

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username1 him blowing a kiss to her on the podium 🥺

charles_leclerc Thank you for being there ma chérie ❤

↳charles_leclerc I love you to the moon and back ❣ ↳yourinstagram love you my pretty boy 😪❤

username2 did you tell the cameras to focus on someone else because you were about to cry…

↳yourinstagram maybe….🫣 - not just crying though it was VERY close to full on SOBBING 😭

username3 oh i’m crying a little 🥲

leclerc_pascale thank you for making our boy so happy my sweet girl

↳yourinstagram thank you for making him easy to love ❤ ↳username “our boy” “easy to love” i can’t take this today i’ve already cried to much 😫

username4 three cats and a puppy..... its a full house mama

username5 AHHHHHH 😭😭😭 so so happy for you both 🌸💘

username6 I honestly just wanna be like you when I grow up.

arthur_leclerc I am in possession of a picture of y/n sobbing if anyone wants it

↳yourinstagram leo and cat privileges could very easily be revoked ↳arthur_leclerc My apologizes…. i was lying 😁 ↳username6 he really said “ my apologies i wasn’t familiar with your game” 😭

username7 yall are so cute im gonna throw up

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charles_leclerc

Liked by yourinstagram, oscarpiastri and 7,559,944 others

charles_leclerc Last but favorite photo dump from my Monaco weekend ❤

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username1 you and y/n are the only people ever 😪

username2 these two lovebirds ❤

yourinstagram my favorite race winner !!! 🥲🫶

↳charles_leclerc ❤🥰❤

username3 You guys look like a dream

username4 you can tell how much it meant to charles to win this race

arthur_leclerc Congrats to y/n's boyfriend for winning the Monaco GP !!!

↳charles_leclerc My favorite nickname 🥰 ↳arthur_leclerc The fact that i know you're not joking.... ↳charles_leclerc What's to joke about 🤷‍♂️

username5 adorable the two of you ❤

username6 charles monaco gp win you are and will always be everything to me

lewishamilton7 Happy for you man 🏆❤

username8 I'M SO SINGLE THIS ISN'T FUN ANYMORE

[luveline]

so i had this silly thought the other night while i was doing a mud mask of jack stumbling upon reader (could be bombshell r, hotchner r, or whoever u would like <3) doing a mud mask and not quite understanding what it is (although r tries to explain it to him), and later on jack’s teacher tells aaron that jack and/or his friends were trying to apply mud to their faces at recess to ‘help their skin’ 😭 so then r has to clarify that u can’t just put any mud on ur face haha and maybe she offers to get some face masks for her and jack (and maybe aaron?) to try together <3 i know this is a bit of a silly idea and it may be too specific so ofc no pressure at all if this doesn’t inspire u!! u write aaron (and jack!) so well and i love everything u put out jade thank u for sharing ur writing with us <333

-💫

“Y/N, what the heck are you doing?” 

You wrinkle your nose at him. “What kind of language is that, babe? What would your daddy say if he heard you saying that?” 

Jack doesn’t even pretend to act chastened. If there’s one thing Jack Hotchner knows about you, it’s that you’re wrapped around his little finger, forever and always. It’s all you can do to keep your arms to yourself as he crawls into bed next to you. 

“Is that cucumber?” 

“Want some?” you ask. 

Jack takes a piece of cucumber and munches on it with a wet snap. “Your face has mud on it.” 

“It does.” 

“Why?” 

You peek at him through one eye. “It apparently draws out the impurities in my face. I’m not sure how it happens, but it makes my skin feel really soft when I wash it off.” 

“Oh. But it’s mud.”

“Yeah, it is, I don’t know how it happens. Must be magic.” You love Jack’s little face. He’s cute. His hair is still blonde at the ends, last bits of summer clinging to him, a tan on his pert nose. “Would you wanna try it?” 

“How long does it have to be on?” 

“About ten minutes. Or before it dries. We wash it off with a face towel.” 

“Okay. But just a little bit.” 

“Sure, babe. You can tell me if it’s too much.” 

Jack sits in front of your lap. You unscrew the pot of clay mask and use the small spreader it comes with to scoop up the mask. Cold, you whisper, but Jack giggles anyways, startled at the feeling as you smooth it over his forehead, his cheeks, and his round chin. You use your fingertips to connect the sections, colour in his nose, and smooth it out. Jack lets his eyes close in little-kid bliss, like he might fall asleep. 

“Do you want the cucumbers on your eyes?” you ask. 

“For relaxing?”

“Yeah, they’re cold too.” 

He lays back on Aaron's side of the bed and you plop on his cucumbers. Fifteen minutes later you encourage him into the bathroom to wash it away, holding his chin, warm, clay-stained water running down his neck. He insists on returning the favour, which ends in you squeezing his cheeks to tell him you love him, which makes him fluster like his father at the receiving end of a good compliment. “I love you too,” he mumbles, looking down at the floor. 

“Feel how soft your cheek is,” you say. 

“I think you have to wash your face,” he says back. “Sorry.” 

It’s great. By the time Aaron’s home from work you’re both super soft and while you don’t offer any explanation, he seems to notice, lackadaisical finger against Jack's cheek prompting an inquisitive, “Jack, have you been in Y/N’s shower stuff again?” 

“No.” 

You and Jack decide to keep your relaxing afternoon a secret. You think nothing of it for a while. The next time you use your clay mask he’s sleeping at his Aunt Jess’, and Aaron asks why you’re smiling, so you tell a half truth and say you’re thinking of Jack, which makes Aaron so smiley he tries to kiss you despite the mud.

Another few days and you get Jack back, only to give him over to school. Evil school. You and Aaron go to work. It’s some time nearing 1PM when Aaron steps out of his office, buttoning his coat around his neck. 

“What’s wrong?” you ask over Emily’s head. 

Morgan copies your frown. 

“Hotch?” 

“Jack is in trouble at school. Apparently he got into a play-fight and everyone needs a change of clothes.” He gives you a look, as if to say, you gotta love him. And you really do. “I’ll be back before the end of lunch.”

“I can go?” you offer. 

“I’m already wearing my coat.” He leans over to kiss your cheek and bids you goodbye. 

You don’t see your partner again. When he fails to turn up after lunch, you figure he’s taken Jack home —Jack tends to get upset when bad stuff happens at school even if he was just having fun because of his astounding guilty conscience. Aaron texts you not long before you’re due to start worrying with a simple, Sorry, not going to make it back in today. Jack was a bit upset. 

Your boss isn’t there, so you take a session with your coworkers, standing up at your desk and clearing your throat. “Because my boss is my boyfriend and also not here, I’ve decided to bring my query to the court.” 

You wait. Your team looks at you expectantly. 

“Go ahead,” Derek says. 

“Jack was so upset at school that he had to go home. Do I, as his almost step mom and number one fan, have the group's permission to go home now so I can get him cookies from Ben’s?” 

“Aw, he was upset?” Emily says, frowning but also cooing. 

You hold your heart. “I know. He’s such a sweetheart. So, can I go?” 

“You want us to do your consultations?” Spencer asks. 

“No!” you say, tucking a stray curl behind Spencer’s ear and delighting in the way he shoves you away. He’s laughing as he does it, used to your affection. “You can if you want to, handsome, but I was just gonna finish it tonight on Aaron’s computer.”

“Just go,” Morgan says, rolling his eyes. 

“Family emergency,” Emily agrees. 

“Don’t really do my consults,” you tell Spencer, grinning when he waves you off. 

You make a pit stop at Ben’s for praline filled cookies and smile despite yourself the whole way home. You’re not worried about Jack, he has his dad, and it was only dirt, you’re just excited to see him and to ditch work and to maybe, maybe, lay your head in Aaron’s lap sometime soon. He strokes the skin behind your ear and leans down to kiss you whenever he feels like it, which means you can amass upwards of five kisses an hour. It’s elastic. 

“Babe?” you call, knocking open the door with a clatter. Shoes wait for you at the entryway. You leave your kitten heels by light up sketchers and dress shoes neatly lined. “Honey? Angel?” 

“Are you talking to me?” Aaron calls from the door of the kitchen, suddenly in view. 

“Am I in trouble?” you ask. 

Aaron checks his watch. “Oh, definitely.” 

“Personal paid time off?” 

“Sure. What’s in the bag?” 

“Oh, you know, just something special for the baby. Is he okay?” 

“He’s unhappy with me, truth be told.” 

“Why’s that?” 

Aaron holds your gaze. “Weirdly, I think you might have a better idea of the situation than I do.” 

You follow him back into the kitchen, confused and eager for an explanation. Jack’s at the door that leads to your backyard, sitting on the stoop, looking stroppy and tired and relieved to see you, which is nice. “Hey,” you say, “what’s with the frowny face, beautiful?” 

“Dad doesn’t believe me.” 

“Doesn’t believe you about what?” 

“Me and Adrian was putting mud on our faces at school because it makes us soft, like we did, but dad doesn’t think we did it.” 

“We did,” you say immediately, giving Aaron a soft, honest look, not mad at anyone and not sure where the confusion is coming from, “you’ve seen my masks, honey.” 

“Your clay mask is blue,” Aaron says. 

“Is not!” Jack says. “It’s red just like mud!” 

“Well, when me and Jack did a mask together a couple of weeks ago, it was the red one, but it was a new one. I usually use that blue one,” you say, relieved when Aaron begins to look amused rather than slightly annoyed. “It’s my fault, babe.” 

You turn to Jack. “Baby,” you say, trying your best to look serious and kind at once, “the clay mask we did together is called a mud mask, and it does have mud in it, but it’s not like the mud at school, okay? It’s probably not a good idea for you and Adrian to rub it on yourselves.” 

Jack crosses his arms in front of him, slouching. “Well, how was I s’posed to know that?” he asks, sounding about as angry as he ever gets, which isn’t much. 

Aaron sighs deeply. You’re sure you’re in for it, you’ve wasted half of everyone’s day now ‘cos you didn’t explain a simple concept, but then he says, “You love to exclude me, the both of you.” 

“What?” you ask, gasping through a laugh. 

“Doing things together and not telling me!” he insists. “If you’d let me join in, I wouldn’t have upset Jack today because I’d know why he was playing in the mud.” 

You hold his gaze, refusing to break as his smile grows and grows despite the effort he pulls into staying straight. 

“So I’m not in trouble?” Jack asks. 

Aaron smiles. “Don’t think so, Jackers, not unless you did something I don’t know about.” 

“I didn’t!” 

“Then consider yourself innocent. I’m sorry I didn’t understand you.” 

“I’m sorry for not explaining the difference,” you add. 

Jack looks at both of you, all sunny-eyed, ready to be coddled by somebody and without a favourite. “Okay, thank you. It’s not your fault you didn’t know, dad. And it’s okay about the explaining,” he says to you seriously. ”Explaining is hard.” 

Jack encroaches back into the room now he’s believed, reaching for Aaron’s legs, markedly pleased when his dad bends down to hug him. It’s an apology cuddle, but it also checks for resentment or sadness alike. Jack closes his eyes, alright with how things have worked out. 

You feel ever so slightly excluded, but you do your best to stay still, loyally waiting your turn, and rewarded handsomely when Jack finishes hugging his dad and crowds you instead, arms held up insistently. There’s no protesting when you lift him onto the counter for a better hug. When you say sorry again for technically getting him into trouble, he shakes his head. 

“Just an accident,” he says, in the tenor of a practised line, one of Aaron’s mantras sinking in. 

“Can I make it up to you? We won’t exclude dad this time.” 

Jack gets lifted from one counter to another. You let him eat one of his cookies in the bathroom (and despite his face mask) but wrinkle your nose at the idea, his dad beside him, leaning back, tie undone and t-shirt unbuttoned to the third. The slice of undershirt on display makes your week. 

Completely still as he is, you raise yourself up to draw the face mask onto Aaron’s cheeks and forehead. He laughs like Jack did at the cold, more of a giggle, but he doesn’t move. 

“It does feel like mud,” Aaron says. 

“I told you,” Jack says. There’s cookie crumbs stuck in the mask around his mouth. 

You kiss Aaron chastely. 

“Just wait for how soft this is gonna make your skin,” you say. 

“I think my skin is as soft as it’s going to get, but thank you, honey.”

[sinstear]

‎‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎SECRETS WILL KILL YOU, KEEP IT HUSH.

synopsis: what was once the best times of your lives, what happens when the one you loved more than live itself, your best friend; vanishes without a trace and it’s up to you and your friends to figure out what happened? can you save her in time? tags: major angst, talks of character death, reader being oblivious, cursing, nervous and depressed reader, talks of guns, an appearance from said gun near the end, sprinkles of fluff. happy ending, somewhat. there’s probably a bunch of other stuff i’m missing, but i need this out my face already. wc: 22k .... uhm, look away. an: i’m not sure how i feel about this, but i’ve been reading too many psychological books over this past month; send help asap, and had the idea to write a little something of my own, i say little like this isn’t sitting at a fat 20k+ words .. don’t judge me please or i’ll cry. i cried too much writing this because i hated it for so long LMAO. thank you @vifilms for proofreading and supporting this crazy idea, and helping me through it. i love you. anyway, enjoy <3

Thursday, 28th April 2015.

“you know you could just tell your date you came down with a cold, s’not like she would notice, girls too obsessed with herself notice anything,” Abby suggested, her round dark green glasses resting on the bridge of her nose. 

“I can’t just lie,” You scoffed, looking up from your phone, and noticing Abby was clad in one of your sweaters, cross-legged and reading yet another recommended book. “Besides, you know me and dates never last, remember the last one? 20 minutes into getting to know her,”

“She accidentally mentioned her girlfriend, yes, I will never let you live it down.” Abby giggled from beside you and shrugged. “What’s the worst that could happen this time? She tells you about the 4 wives she has at home?”

“Funny,” You grumbled and slapped her shoulder playfully. Abby laughed and you felt your heart flutter. You liked it when she laughed, it felt refreshing and beautiful. “If that happens, I hope you’ll be there to rescue me when I call you stressed out.”

Holding her hand over her heart, the blonde nodded with a subtle smirk on her lips. “I solemnly swear I will always rescue you from your failed dates.” 

“Hey, Honey.” 

Jerry. Sweet and kind Jerry Anderson; He still looks young, even though the stubble on his face is more grey than before, the dark bags under his eyes darker, but you can tell the glint is slowly burning out in his eyes. He used to have a spark to him, but now it’s dim, almost vanishing right before you. “Hey, Mr Anderson.” You coughed on smoke and cleared your throat.

“C’mon kid, I’ve known you since you were in diapers, and throwing eggs at the neighbor’s house, you can call me Jerry.” He laughed, but the smile on his lips didn’t reach his eyes. Not like it used to be.

Stubbing out your cigarette on the sidewalk, you chuckled nervously and wiped your hands nervously on your jeans. “Yeah, no right, sorry, Jerry, habit, you know” you trailed off, looking at him silently, trying to work him out. “Any news?”

“No, don’t think there will be any for a while.”

Abby, your best friend, had made a joke once in her backyard that if you weren’t both in a serious relationship before you turned 18, you would both date, settle down, and get married. It was a promise you promised to keep, if anything, you would be right outside her door, asking her to be your girlfriend the second you turned 18. 

Her 26th birthday is next week.

Abby disappeared just weeks before her 18th, she left your house happy and smiley, secretly hoping you would still be single in the next two weeks. She loved you. Jerry knew how much she adored and loved you. Hearing about the dates you would set yourself up on, broke her heart but you were her best friend, so she should be happy for you right? Never ruin a best friend’s dream and wish, she told herself each time she left you and went home to cry into her pillow while her dad, god bless his soul, sat on the end of her bed, comforted her, and stood by her.

“I miss her you know?” You finally mumbled out, looking away from him. “More than I did yesterday, and I’ll miss her more tomorrow than I did today.” The crack in your voice was evident, and it broke Jerry’s heart to see and hear you so distraught. His was hurting too, for so many reasons, but the main one was he didn’t know where his daughter was and it was slowly killing him.

“I know you do, kid,” His smile was faint, his hand trembling as he took a seat beside you on the sidewalk. “My girl loved you with all her heart,” His voice wavered and you couldn’t even smile at him, you couldn’t even promise him anything because how can you? “I know in my heart she’s still out there, somewhere, I’ve heard the talk, the gossip people are saying, saying that she’s dead, some days I believe it, some days I don’t, but I do know one thing, she’ll come back, to us, to you.”

“How do you know?”

“Because she’s an Anderson, we don’t give up,” Jerry laughed and for a second it felt like Abby was still with you, laughing and joking like nothing else in the world mattered. “And she’s your best friend, my girl wouldn’t leave you behind. She’ll come back, and that promise you made each other? When you were younger, stealing my beers and trying to smoke a joint?” He laughed again when your eyes widened and he patted your back lightly. “No judgment here, Abby is always safe with you, but you both made a promise, and she will always keep a promise.”

“I’ll find her, Jerry, I promise.”

“You’re slouching like a dog and m’pretty sure you’re drooling”

Peeling your eyes open slowly, you scowled at the sight of a smirking Ellie looking down at you amused. “Fuck off, what do you want?” You huffed, folding your arms over your chest and closing your eyes again.

“Saw Jerry,” Her voice was suddenly softer, and you could just picture the way she was playing with her fingers, not knowing what else to say. “He looked—”

“Worse for wear?”

“Something like that,” Ellie smiled and sat in the empty chair beside you. “I know this is a dumb question, but have you heard or seen anything?”

“You mean have I seen the girl I’m in love with walking around? The same girl who suddenly vanished into thin air?”

“Don’t be a dick, m’serious.” 

“Then no, I haven’t seen Abby walking around. Do you think I would be sitting here, drinking a beer at 1pm if Abby was here?”

Ellie, even though she pisses you off and gets under your skin, was helpful with everything. She was always there if you needed someone to talk to, always about if you needed just a little help trying to figure out when and where Abby disappeared too. After the breakup with Dina, Ellie felt herself stuck in a hole, unable to feel that push to get out and get help. You were there for each other, even if Dina did give you a subtle glare or side eye when she saw you together. You and Ellie was a line neither of you would cross. That’s always been how it is. 

“Hey guys!”

“Oh here we go,” Ellie shrank back in her chair and held back a groan. “Doesn’t this girl have other friends? I wouldn’t even say we are friends” 

“Who is— Oh fuck sake.” 

“How are we doing?!” Mandy, someone that Dina had brought into the friend group when Ellie and she were still together, skipped over and smiled at you both. “Ellie.”

“Anyway, as I was saying,” She completely blanked her, turned back to you, and smirked. “I think that we, me and you if you get my drift, should go and look for her.”

“Say fuckin’ what now?” You blinked.

“Find whom?” 

“Abby, who else do you think?” Your friend snapped.

“Oh, the girl who wanted you to abandon our date that one time?”

You can see her lips moving, but you don’t know what she or even Ellie are saying; your eyes are locked in on the charm around her bracelet. It wasn’t there a few weeks ago, you’d know, she’s always happy and cheery, flinging her arms about like she’s just snorted the lemonade instead of drinking it. It looked oddly familiar, but at the same time, you couldn’t put your finger on it. “So what do you think?” Ellie’s voice pulled you from your thoughts, and she looked at you with that infuriating grin.

“About?”

“Finding Abby”

Ellie can’t tell if you want to throttle her or throw something at her with the way you’re staring at her. It used to freak her out when you would go silent and just stare like you suddenly forgot how to function, but lately, she’s gotten used to it, this is your way of processing something. “Ellie, you can’t be serious right? We don’t even know where she went before— before she just disappeared. How are we going to find her? With what money? Where do we even start? This isn’t some crime show we watch on the TV, Ellie, this is real, this is her life—”

Her hands came up, grabbed your shoulders, and squeezed tightly with a soft chuckle. “Breath, Nancy Drew, you’re going to give yourself a panic attack. We don’t have to suddenly rush off, and get ourselves into trouble, we just have to retrace steps. Abby’s steps.”

“It’s been years, El.”

“I know, but we’ll find her, okay? She wouldn’t just leave, and she wouldn’t leave you. We all know this, you know this.” Her smile reassured you somewhat, but you still had that nerve eating away at you. What if she really was gone?

The charm was still gnawing at you. Where could you have pictured it before? You weren’t 100% sure you were seeing things right, maybe it was one that you had thought you had seen before but it was your mind playing tricks on you. Maybe it was because you had a hole in your heart, and you were trying to put something there to ease it a little. To make it whole again. 

So why couldn’t you let it go? Why did you have to keep pushing yourself into something that wasn’t there? Was it because you needed Abby, and you needed to find her? To restore your thoughts? Or was it because some part of you knew the outcome of what’s happened, and you were too afraid to say it out loud? 

“Been a couple of years since you came in here,” Jerry’s voice rang out from behind you. He sounded tired. He probably hasn’t slept properly in years, just like you. So you knew how he was feeling. “You and Abby would try stealing the candy, but I always knew it was you two. Always sneaking around and causing trouble between yourselves.”

You looked at him over your shoulder, fingers grasping at the picture he hand hung up on the wall of Abby, tightly and smiled painfully. “Did Abby take anything? When you—”

“I would have told you, you know that.” Jerry cut you off, dropping the box in his hands onto the floor, and sighed softly. “I’ve been in her room hundreds of times since she, well, since she disappeared and I haven’t noticed anything different. I haven’t even changed the wallpaper, s’too hard to handle.”

“She wouldn’t have left without a reason, Jerry. Abby doesn’t just go missing. If she was in trouble, she would have come to me, if anything was wrong, she would have called me, she would have asked for my help.”

“This is hard for me to talk about.”

“And you think It’s not hard for me?” You scoffed, gripping the picture tighter. “My best friend goes missing and there’s not a goddamn thing I can do. There’s nothing I can do. It fucking kills me to know that she’s probably out there, scared and alone, and I’m here feeling sorry for myself? You know how fucking shitty that makes me feel that I couldn’t keep her safe? She’s not fucking here and It’s my fault because I didn’t protect her hard enough. I should have walked her home that night, I should have done more.” 

For the first time in years, Jerry can see how terrified you are. For a while, you’ve been able to keep your emotions and feelings at bay, keep them under control, but as you stand there, looking at him, he can see a younger you. A scared little you. You look small, broken, and terrified as you stand before him. “This isn’t your fault,” He shakes his head and clenches his fist. “This has never been your fault.”

“When I look at you, I wait for you to shout and yell at me. Blame me for her going missing, I wait every single time, and it never comes. That’s pathetic, right? That I wait for you to blame me for the reason your daughter is missing.”

His sudden sob catches your attention, and you feel like shit. You’ve never meant to make him upset, you’ve always been the one to make people laugh, to make their stomachs hurt over a silly joke you made, but always has everyone laughing and smiling. But you’ve made him cry, and you suddenly feel lost again. “M’sorry—”

“I’ve never blamed you for this, and I won’t start today”

You find Ellie on her porch step that same afternoon after your conversation with Jerry, nursing a glass of water in her hand and her eyebrow raises just slightly when you storm over and stand right in front of her with your arms folded over your chest. “Alright? You look like you’re on the verge of a mental breakdown or murder.” She joked, and your lips quirked up just slightly. “What’s up?”

“I want to find Abby.”

Just like that, Ellie placed her glass beside her, almost knocking it over when she leaned back and grinned at you. “Nancy Drew, this is going to be something,” She lazily smiled and stood up quickly. “Just don’t go telling Joel, he worries enough about me and whatnot,”

“Tell him that we’re just going camping, just until we get somewhere with whatever steps we have to retrace around here.”

“Camping?” She scoffed and glared at you.

“Ellie, you dress like you live in the fuckin’ woods, he’ll believe you.” You rolled your eyes, brushed past her, up the stairs, and into her house. “C’mon idiot!”

“God, yes Mother!”

When you were younger, you and Abby spent a lot of time at Ellie’s house. Joel always had to refill glasses with lemonade to put more sandwiches on empty plates, and you were always thankful for him, Ellie, and Abby. Always for Abby. The memories of your childhood, your growing up, lingered in certain parts of the house. For a split second, you felt like you were back there as you walked into the living room; you remember how Abby almost cried when she lost a game of Uno, and Ellie teased her nonstop for it. You remember how the blonde would cuddle into your side during random movie nights, especially the horror movies Dina decided to watch, even though she would turn them off most of the time because it got too scary. 

The picture of the 4 of you still sits on the fireplace and a smile curves on your lips. You still remember the day it was taken, and how cold it was to take such a picture in the snow. If you squint hard enough, you can see the redness forming on Abby’s nose, and if pictures had audio then you would be able to faintly hear the chattering sound of Ellie’s teeth at how cold it was that night. You weren’t sure if Ellie would have gotten rid of all the memories, but you were thankful she didn’t. You lost Abby, Jerry lost Abby, but in the end, you all lost her. You all lost a part of yourselves that morning he couldn’t find her. A little bit of each of you died when the posters were put up all around Jackson not even a week later. The missing poster still haunts you. No matter what.

“Even in pictures, Abby always wanted to be close to you.”

Joel. Placing the picture back down, you turn around and find him holding logs of wood. His hair was slightly shorter; Ellie probably had enough and took the scissors to it. His eyes still had a small glimmer of hope, but he still looked exhausted. “Yeah,” You nodded and fumbled with your hoodie sleeve. “Haven’t taken a photo since, feels too weird without her in them. It would also feel like cheating, can’t take a picture that she’s not in, you know?” A faint smile tugged at your lips.

“You’ll all take one together when she’s back, no doubt about it. Hell, Ellie will probably fill her wall with new pictures of you guys,” Like Jerry, Joel’s smile doesn’t reach his eyes and you hold back either a sigh or a cry. “El misses her too, you know?” He added quietly, like he was scared she would hear you both. “She might not talk about it, like you, but I’ve heard her crying at night, sometimes it takes me hours to get her to calm down. Poor girl almost sent herself into a panic attack last night because she was crying so much. I wish I knew how to help her, all I ever want is to help her and keep her safe and I don’t know how. I feel lost because I can’t help her when she needs it.” 

“You’re doing the best you can, Joel.” You wanted to help her too, you wanted to ease and help everyone but even you were lost and confused. “She knows you’re here, and she’ll come to you when she’s ready to talk about it. I promise.”

“Yeah I know—”

“Joel? I thought you were out with Tommy?” Ellie appeared finally and looked between you both. “You guys alright?” She laughed nervously and dropped her jacket on the back of the chair with a shiver. It was slowly getting colder, so more blankets and fires were needed.

“Yeah, yeah, was just catching up and stuff, haven’t seen Joel or Tommy for a while.” 

“If you didn’t cancel on the dinner last week, you would have seen them,” She teased, kissing Joel’s cheek and taking the wood from his hands before walking over to the almost gone-out fire. “Old man misses you, he misses all of you.”

Even Abby, she thinks. 

“Right, you guys staying for dinner or?” Joel laughed.

“Yes, we’re staying,” Ellie looked at you, folding her arms over her chest. “Aren’t we?”

“Yeah, missed your cooking.” You grinned playfully at him. 

“We’ll be in my room!”

“I know El, It’s the only place you socialize.”

Pushing open her door, Ellie slumps herself in her desk chair, sighs, and then looks over at you as you slump face-first onto her bed. “Right, operation find Abby, what’s first?”

“Well, we all saw her that night, surely someone knows something that we don’t,” you mumbled before lifting your head slowly with a grumble. “Abby doesn’t just go missing within 24 hours, El. Not without someone seeing something. Have you seen how many people lurk outside the bar? Lurk around the shops? Someone has to have seen her, or something.”

“So, we start there. We ask everyone.”

“C’mon dude, surely you remember seeing her at least once that night?!” Ellie scowled, holding up a photograph of Abby in his face, almost shoving it under his nose with how angry she was getting. Sighing under your breath, you reached your hand up and pulled her arm away. 

“El, he doesn't remember, let’s ask someone else. Preferably someone who isn’t drunk right now.”

“We’ve been asking people for hours—”

“It’s not going to happen overnight El, and as much as I want it to, It’s impossible.” You rubbed at your face and sighed loud enough for her scowl to drop and a frown to appear. “I just want her to be okay, and I know that she’s scared somewhere, whenever she is, but I need to find her.”

“We’ll find her, we’ll look around all day and night if we have to.”

The metal door clangs loudly against the brick wall, sending a slight vibration through the floor, and the feeling of terror sinks in all over again. The room is dark, and cold, not even a blanket could keep you warm if you tried hard enough. The days have been lost, not even sure what year it is anymore, and not even having enough energy to count specks of dirt on the walls have been long forgotten. The energy to keep going was slowly getting lower and lower. 

The painful squeak of the door opening would cause anyone to lose sleep. “Eat your food, don’t make me waste more money on this shit if you don’t want to eat it. Stop being ungrateful and do what I tell you.” The small plate of food hits the floor, almost going everywhere, and just like that the door slams shut again without another word. 

How much longer?

“Yeah, I saw her.”

Both yours and Ellie’s eyebrows shoot up at his words, and you look at her with a glimmer of hope. “You did? You saw her?” You asked. 

“Course I did,” He nodded, taking a hit from his cigarette and coughing abruptly. “Was getting something from the bakery store, bread or something? She wasn’t there for long, but I saw her.”

“Was she with anyone?”

“Nah, was by herself, she didn’t seem to be in a rush or anything. I was cleaning up the tables outside, and that’s when I saw her. Then when it came about that she had gone missing the next week, I didn’t know what to think. I don’t think she went missing, but I suppose I should let the professionals deal with it.”

“Professionals,” Ellie clicked her tongue on the side of her mouth and laughed. “Yeah because they’re much help.”

“Thank you,” You smiled apologetically. “Let us know if you can remember anything else.”

“Will do. Hope you find her.”

 Just as you and Ellie turned around to leave, to ask someone else, that high-pitched voice rang out again. Stopping you both in your tracks. “Hi!” Mandy smiled sweetly, looking between you both as she got closer. 

“Gonna take this pencil and shove it right in my fuckin’ eye,” Ellie grumbled under her breath.

“Hi, Mandy.” You murmured.

“Whatcha doing?” 

“Looking for Abby, didn’t we mention this to you yesterday?” 

Jabbing Ellie in the rib, you shook your head when she glared at you and slapped on a fake smile. “Did you see Abby at all?” You asked, looking at her closely. 

Mandy looked between you both again, eyes just widening slightly before she laughed and shrugged. “No? We weren’t close.” 

“Don’t have to be close to someone to know if you saw them or not.” Ellie pointed out. 

“I was with my parents, and even if I did see her, I was drinking too much that night to know,” She shrugged again, looking at you with a happy smile. One that for some reason, made you uncomfortable. “Speaking of which, I have some books I have to give back to my parents.”

“You remember being drunk that many years ago?” 

There it was again, the wave of her hand brushing her hair away from her face when you noticed that same bracelet charm. It was making you irritated because you still can’t picture where it’s from, or who made it. But you know that you’ve seen it before, that you do know and are aware of. “—If there’s anything I can do to help, let me know, okay?” Mandy offered, giving you one final smile before she walked away. 

“She pisses me off more and more every day I swear. Remind me why you went on a date with her?” Ellie slipped the pen into her pocket and rubbed her nose harshly. Was she coming down with yet another cold? You thought to yourself.

“M’not sure, she always cornered me when I was alone and kept asking until I said yes, that’s it.” You shrugged as you both walked. “She always shows up when we’re talking about Abby, no?” 

“I don’t think she’s the kidnapping or killing type, to be honest. Too bubbly and cheerful.”

“She’s not dead, Ellie.”

Halting in her steps, Ellie turns around and acknowledges her words quickly. “Shit, no I know, I didn’t mean it like that. This is just stressing me out, we’re still getting nowhere.”

You both take a seat on the chairs outside the bakery, tired and feeling sorry for yourself as you both silently look through the list of names of people you still need to talk to. Wanted to know if anyone had seen her, just something. “There’s still the lady who owns the wine shop, that creepy guy who owns the other bar,” Ellie mumbled. 

Brushing your fingers over the paper, you shrink back in the chair with a sigh, one that already explains how tired you are, and close your eyes. 

Saturday, 1st May 2015.

“Yeah, m’here,” you mumbled, holding your phone to your ear, feet kicking at the rocks. “Make sure you rescue me.”

“I have a good feeling about this date,” Abby admitted softly, unbeknownst to you, holding back her sobs, and smiled even though you couldn’t see her. “I think It’s going to be amazing.”

“Yeah? How do you know?”

“Because I know you, and you deserve this.” 

Her words buried deep in your chest, and you felt your eyes slowly well up with tears, but you couldn’t cry, not today, not when you were about to have a fucking date. “Abby?”

You weren’t sure if you heard the hitch in her breath, and if you did, you ignored it. “Yeah?” She asked, fumbling with the sleeve of the hoodie she stole from you.

“Thank you.” 

Blinking away the tears in her eyes, Abby smiles sadly to herself. “Of course. I love you.”

“I love you—”

“Y/N? Hi!” 

“Abby I gotta go, I’ll come over after, yeah?” 

“Good luck.”

Slipping your phone into your back pocket once you hung up, you smiled tightly. “Mandy, right?” 

“The one and only! Seems unsettling it took you until the first date to know my name, but whatever, we’re here now.” She didn’t seem to notice your tight-lipped smile and urge to roll your eyes. “Shall we?”

“Lead the way.”  

The small restaurant was slightly dimmed, smelling of cigarettes and strong beer. Mandy didn’t seem to mind, in fact, she was happily walking around; looking for a table to sit at and a small shriek of happiness flooded from her once she found a table that fitted her. “Let’s sit, come come.” The redhead hurried, throwing her bag and jacket onto the table beside her.

“Oh, uh, sure,” You took her things, smiling apologetically at the old couple who looked at her shocked, and seated yourself in the chair opposite her. “M’not sure what to eat here, never been before.” You admitted sheepishly. 

Mandy, who had yet to even speak, looked at you with a smile. “Everything here is good except for the lemon tart and the white wine.”

“What’s wrong with the wine?”

“Tastes like shit, typical for them, and whatnot.” She shrugged again, and It caught you off guard with how fast she covered up her distaste for things with a wide smile. One that’s almost sinister-looking. She was a good person though, Dina mentioned she was. You couldn’t judge her based on a smile. “Now, how did you meet Dina and Ellie?”

“I met Abby first, actually—”

“Abby? Why doesn’t that name ring a bell?”

“Oh, uh, Jerry Anderson’s daughter? They own the candy store?”

“Ah,” Mandy flashed yet another smile, sitting back in her chair and nodding along. “Don’t know them personally, I wouldn’t have a reason to.” 

“Right,” Clearing your throat, you hummed and gave her your best grin. Did you look stupid? Maybe, but did she care? Apparently not. “How did you meet Dina?” 

The sharp pinch on your skin had your eyes snapping open, your body almost falling out of the chair when you spotted Ellie looking at you, grinning from ear to ear. “Dude, fuck you.”

“You’re wasting time, If m’not allowed to nap, then you aren’t allowed either.” She scoffed, slipped the sheet of paper into her pocket, and stood up. “We aren’t getting anywhere, let’s go back to mine and we can go from there.” 

“What if there’s nothing?”

“There’s always something.” 

You started to lose count of the days. First they started as days, and then they suddenly started blending into weeks. You and Ellie were still none the wiser. Still lost on every account of what happened when Abby had left your house the night she vanished. You had barely left your bed; only to shower, brush your teeth and eat, but besides that, it felt like you were falling into another deep hole you weren’t sure you could dig yourself out of. 

Today was the first day you gathered enough energy to pull yourself out of the hole that was your unmade bed, and clothe yourself in something that had way too many holes, and probably is over 5 years old, but it was a start. “Most books that come back are usually missing a couple of pages, s’not unusual,” Brenda, the owner, explained with a tired smile. “Doesn’t make it less annoying though.”

“Yeah, can’t read a book with a fuckin’ page missin,” You grumbled, feeling the same emotions as her. You could get lost in your books, and to know the one you wanted to read was missing about 5 pages pissed you off. “S’fine, I’ll just take the other books.”

“Are you sure, Honey?”

“Yeah, m’sure—”

From the corner of your eye, there was a sudden flash, a sliver of blonde hair caught your attention and your body did a full 180, dropping the books on the floor, causing Brenda to let out a scowl and drop to her knees quickly just to pick them up. They were collector books, how dare you just drop them?” Shit, fuck, sorry, Brenda, I have to go—”

You were already running away before you finished your sentence. Pushing people out of your way, tugging them and almost pushing them over as you scrambled to get past the large crowds. “Abby!?” You shouted, sadly tripping someone over in the process, but a part of you didn’t care. “Move out the fuckin’ way,” Your hands pressed onto a back, shoving them a little too hard for anyone’s liking, sending them tumbling over one of the stools. “Abby!”

Before you could comprehend anything else, let alone think about the blonde hair, your body barreled into another harshly, sending you both to the floor, your back hits the dirty floor with a loud thud and winds you in the process. “Fuck!” You hissed, coughing painfully.

“Jesus Christ, Y/N.” 

Jesse. Turning on your side, your eyes flutter open, the pain in your back trailing all over your body as you find him already pushing himself off the floor, crouching beside you, and holding a hand out for you. “Sorry, I just thought I saw someone.” You explained, taking his hand and letting him pull you up. 

“Abby?”

“What?”

“You were shouting her name,” He laughed, shrugging his shoulders and dusting off yours. “Dina told me you and Ellie were looking for her, or something like that,” Jesse murmured, holding his hand up to block the sun from his eyes. “Had any luck?”

“I wouldn’t be shouting her name like a fuckin’ maniac and pushing people over if I had luck finding her,” You scoffed and rolled your eyes. His smile fell at your aggression, but quickly recovered and patted your shoulder with another smile. “Sorry, I’ve just— I don’t know what to do, It feels like she’s still here, somewhere, and I just want her to come back.”

“I know, and she will. You’re both like, stuck to each other, If anyone can find her, It’s you,” 

“Y/N! Y/N!”

Turning your head, you find Ellie frantically running towards you and Jesse. She barely acknowledges him though and instead, shoves a piece of paper into your hands before hunching over, resting her hands on her thighs and panting heavily. “What’s this?” You question with a raised eyebrow. 

“Abby was arguing with someone,” She spoke between pants and cleared her throat. “That creepy old man we saw last week? Freaked me the fuck out, to be honest, but when I saw him again this morning, he kind of cornered me and started telling me that she was arguing with someone near the barn, it got heated, but that’s all he remembers.” Ellie finally got out. 

“Arguing? With who?”

“Fuck if I know, but he said it sounded bad. So whoever she was arguing with, knows where she went, or was the one to see her last, right?” She blinked, copying Jesse and blocking the sun from her face with her hand. 

“I thought I saw her,” 

“Saw who? Abby? When?”

“Was talking to Brenda about books, and then It just felt like I saw her—”

“Almost took me out in the process.” Jesse chimed in.

Rolling your eyes, you looked down at the sheet of paper; the same sheet that listed the names of everyone who lived here. “So she was arguing with someone? That could have been anyone.”

“Half of them are old, one argument would send them into their coffin—”

“Ellie!” 

“What?! M’just saying! It’s true.”

“Jesse, do you remember Abby wearing jewelry?” You asked after a few seconds of silence.

His eyebrow rose this time, only to furrow. “Uh, maybe, I’m not sure, why?”

“Abby never wore jewelry unless it was from you or Jerry.” Ellie gave you the same confused look. “Why? What is that big head of yours thinking?”

“Nah, s’nothing, was just wondering,” You shook them off and scrambled the paper between your hands. “Something just feels off and I can’t explain it no matter how much I think.”

“Jerry still has all those pictures we took, maybe we can start there this time, see if anything jumps out at you?” Jesse suggested this time.

“Wha— You?” Ellie scoffed.

“Abby is my friend too, Ellie.”

“And yet you’ve never taken the time to visit us or Jerry since she went missing, shocker, Jesse.”

“Guys, enough,” You pinched the bridge of your nose harshly and sighed deeply. “Let’s just go see Jerry for the pictures.”

Jerry wasn’t lying when he said he hadn’t changed anything in Abby’s bedroom. The wallpaper was still the yellow and sunflower she picked when she turned 16. The bed sheets were the same light blue with clouds that scattered around the fabric. Her mirror still had every Polaroid hung up from the multiple drunk nights you all had. “There’s still another box in the attic, I’ll get it for you.” Her Dad appeared in the doorway, looking at you all with a gentle smile. “Weird seeing all of you in her room after so long,” He chuckled and placed the box on her bed. “Can I get any of you something to eat or drink?”

“No, thank you.”

“M’alright, but thank you, Jerry.”

“Can I have a glass of water?”

“Really, Jesse?” Ellie glared. 

“What?! I’m thirsty.” Jesse glared back.

“I’ll get your drink and then grab the last box.” Jerry laughed at their bickering and left the room. 

“Right,” Ellie clasped her hands together and took refuge at Abby’s untouched desk. You could tell Jerry hadn’t touched anything there because the old music festival poster was still lying there on the oak. “Something that could help us.” She muttered to herself while you and Jesse were already opening the box. 

“I didn’t realize how many pictures we took when we were all together,” Jesse smiled fondly at the thought of seeing so many old memories between you all and instantly shoved his hand into the filled box and grabbed a handful of pictures.

“How many are there?” Ellie laughed from the other side of the room.

“More than Joel has of those vinyls, that’s for sure.” You chuckled.

“Old man is gonna be so jealous we have more pictures together than he has of his beloved music.” 

“Or you could find another that he doesn’t have yet, you know, being a good daughter to the old man seeing as he feeds you 4 times a day and takes care of you,” You suggested with a subtle smirk. “Just a little idea of what to get him for his birthday.”

“Oh yeah? What are you gonna get him then?”

“Another jumper, what else?”

“You’ve given him over 10 since you met him!”

“Didn’t you steal 3 of my jumpers?” You quipped back, eyebrow rose and lips quirked up.

“You just— Your jumpers are comfy, okay!?”

“Oh I was just asking, you’re the one getting all defensive,” You teased before taking your handful of pictures. You don’t remember each time you took them, there were so many that it could go back years before you were even friends with Ellie or Jesse. There were more than enough to write an entire book; it seemed as you scanned over a couple. 

As you went to grab another set, seeing as the ones you picked didn’t really give you much, you had knocked over the pile that Jesse had already looked through, and sent them tumbling to the floor. Cursing under your breath, you rolled your eyes at yourself and sighed. “Shit,” You grumbled, placing the pile of photos on the bed before kneeling on the floor to grab the few that you knocked over. “Ellie, did you find anything?” 

“Nah, still nothing.” The Brunette sighed from the desk.

Picking up the abandoned photos, you quickly catch onto a slight glint and sparkle from the corner of your eye; furrowing your eyebrows, you push the pictures onto the bed with the others, and lean your head down more, looking under her bed. “What the—” Reaching towards whatever it was you thought you saw, you grabbed it, and your lips parted with a soft exhale.

A bracelet.

Holding it up, you inspected it closely. “What’s that?” Jesse spoke up as you noticed there were quite a few charms already missing. Did Abby hide them? Why was there only a few left, and the others were gone? “Is that Abby’s?”

Ellie had quickly snatched it from your hands, which caused you to almost stumble onto the floor at her abrupt movement, held the bracelet up and looked at it. “I’ve only seen this once,”

“So It’s hers?”

“I assume so, I saw her with it on her 16th birthday,” Ellie nodded and took a seat in the middle of Abby’s bed with her legs crossed. “I’ve only seen her with it on once, and I mean, you guys should know that too seeing as you got her the fuckin’ thing, Y/N”

Did you? Then why couldn’t you remember? 

“How don’t you remember?” Jesse laughed and slapped the back of your head gently. “Can we just talk about the fact she wore all of your clothes? She wouldn’t go out unless you were going, nor would she go to any of the parties here unless you were with her? You were both obsessed with each other. You bought it for her, or made it for her, should I say.”

“Made it?” You choked out, looking over at the bracelet that was still in Ellie’s hands. “I don’t—”

“It’s been hard for all of us, but more so for you,” Ellie admitted quietly and smiled sadly. “Abs was closer to you than the rest of us. We can all understand that this is something you don’t remember because you’re too busy blaming yourself.”

“That’s not—”

“Y/N, you’ve been blaming yourself the second the missing posters went up,” Jesse spoke, sitting beside Ellie on the bed. “Every day since then you’ve blamed yourself,and  you’re still blaming yourself, right now, I just know your head is going through the cycle It’s been going through for the past god knows how many years.”

“But why don’t I remember making her that? Why?”

“Because you’re blocking it out,” Jerry spoke up. “You’re blocking out all the memories because you’re scared.”

“M’not scared—”

Planting the final box on the floor, Jerry crouches beside you and places his hand comfortingly on your shoulder. “You’re blocking them out because you’re scared. You’ve been blocking them out because you’re blaming yourself, and maybe if you block them out, it won’t hurt you as much—”

“Hurt me,” You scoffed and shrugged his hand off your shoulder as you stumbled to your feet. “Won’t hurt me as much. M’not ready to let her go, is that better for you? Maybe if I keep my memories locked away, I’ll have more time to make new ones when she comes home. I know this is fucking hard for all of us, for you, but it is killing me—” You paused to take a deep breath, ignoring the worried looks on all of them. “It’s fucking killing me going through fucking photos, asking people around the fucking village, trying to figure out what happened when she’s fucking alone, all alone and I don’t know where she is. This is pointless, all of this is pointless because Abby means more to me than some pictures! I’m here looking at fucking pictures while the girl I love is somewhere out there, fucking scared and there’s nothing I can do. I can’t promise you anything, I can’t promise no one anything”

“Y/N—” Jerry frowned as he rose to his feet and cupped your face gently between his hands. “You’re looking for her,” He murmured with a soft smile. “You’re doing something, and you’re doing a better job than the so-called professionals.”

“I can’t even figure out who she argued with, I haven’t done anything.” You choked out, body falling into his as he wrapped his arm around you and cupped the back of your head. “I need her back, I just want her back.”

“I have faith. With you both, I always have.” Jerry smiled. 

You weren’t sure what happened after your small breakdown, all you know is that you’re still sitting in Abby’s bedroom 5 hours later. Still sifting through endless pictures, notes, journals, anything to give you a hint of something. Was Abby afraid of someone? Why was she arguing? Who was she arguing with? You had so many questions and yet you felt like you had so little time to get everything. “This is the second time she’s yelled at me, what did I do wrong?” Ellie, who was hunched over the desk, mumbled as your eyes locked onto her back.

“Ellie? Who yelled at you?” You asked, sitting up slowly.

“What? No, It’s a diary entry in Abby’s journal,” She turned around, made her way over to you, climbed onto the bed, and slumped beside you. “Look,” Ellie passed you the book, onto the page she was reading and you furrowed your eyebrows when you saw it.

“Who yelled at her?” You took the journal from her hand and skimmed through more of the pages, ones you assume Ellie has yet to read through. Jesse left not that long ago, muttering apologies but his parents wanted him to help with dinner. 

The more you flipped through, the more you noticed.

Sunday, 2nd May 2015.

I think she hates me. I’m not sure what I did for her to hate me, but apparently I must have done something.

Sunday, 2nd May 2015.

She threatened me today. I haven’t stopped crying. I don’t know why she hates me.

Monday, 3rd May 2015.

It’s getting harder and harder to look at her and tell her I’m fine. It’s breaking my heart and I can’t even talk to her about it. 

“Obviously the last one has to be about you. So something happened and she couldn’t even talk to you about it, I assume?” Ellie slumped her head on your shoulder and grumbled. “Is there anything else? To just give us a timeline for however long this went on for?”

“That was the last one,” You closed the book and placed it on your lap with another long sigh. “Abby never told Jerry anything, so I doubt talking to him about this is going to do much.”

“So, over the past god knows how many weeks we’ve been doing this, we’ve found out that someone was on Abby’s case, who, that’s still another thing we need to figure out,” Ellie explained, nervously fumbling with the ring on her finger.

“I wish she would have spoken to me, I could have done something, kept her even safer,” You felt worse now than you did earlier, reading those journal entries made your heart sink. Your best friend, the girl you were in love with, was going through something she felt like she couldn’t even talk to you about. 

“Abby would hate that you’re blaming yourself,” Ellie frowned, curling into your side and rubbing her nose. “You know that she would never let you think that about yourself, it will kill her to know you’re blaming everything on yourself, still.”

“I always promised I would keep her safe, and I couldn’t even do that. If I did, she would still be here, she wouldn’t be missing, El.”

“When we find her, m’going to ask her for permission to punch you—”

“Why?!” You cut her off, outraged and shocked at her words.

“Because then maybe you’ll stop blaming yourself for this, for everything that’s happened.” 

You’re sitting at the bar the next evening when it happens, minding your own business as you wait for Jesse and Ellie, when a guy, a gruff guy walks up to you; slightly drunk and smoking a cigarette, when he bumps into your shoulder and scowls. “Heard you and your little friends are looking for that girl,” He hiccups, the stench of his beer breath has your stomach churning and nose scrunching up at the smell.

“Fucks it to you?”

“She’s been gone for years, no chance she’s gonna turn up now, no?” His laugh made your skin crawl and you didn’t know if you wanted to smash his beer bottle over his head or break his jaw. Maybe both, it would be easier for him to stop talking to you. “I don’t know why you try, she was a lost cause years before she disappeared.”

“You don’t even know her, shut your fuckin’ mouth.” You warned, standing up slowly. You towered over him by a few more inches, and half expected him to cower away, most people did, but he didn’t, he just laughed harder, taking constant drags of his cigarette and looked you up and down. “M’not afraid to shove that bottle down your throat, now fuck off.” Your face was now in his, and the smell of beer smelt worse if that was even possible.

“Oh yeah? The fuck you gonna do? Shove this bottle down my throat? Your threats are empty and pointless, like your search for your little fuckin’ girlfriend—”

“Say one more thing about her, I dare you.”

Before you can go through with your promise, a hand grabs your arm and pulls you away. “He’s not worth it, just let it go.” Ellie, who you hadn’t even noticed arrived, murmured into your ear and dragged you away from the smiling man. “Fighting someone isn’t worth it when we have someone more important to find, okay?”

“Stupid cunt.” You growled at him, letting Ellie drag you out of the bar and into the open air. “Could have just let me throttle the bastard or something.”

“And risk you getting into trouble when Abby is waiting for you?” Jesse spoke up and pushed himself off the wall. 

Just her name has you relaxing in your spot and nodding to yourself slowly. Abby was waiting for you, wherever that might be, she was. No matter how long it takes, you’re going to be the one to save the woman you love. All you have is hope. Pulling out your small box of cigarettes along with your lighter, you shove one between your lips, lighting it up and taking a long drag. “So, the notes, the bracelet, what’s next?” You mumbled between puffs. 

“Are you chain smoking?” Ellie laughed with a subtle scoff. 

“Give me a break, I haven’t slept properly in years,” You rolled your eyes and slumped your head on Jesse’s shoulder. “What’s next?” You asked again. 

As Ellie went to open her mouth, Mandy appeared outside the small shop beside the bar, looking over at you and waving quickly. “Y/N!” And before you knew it, she was already standing in front of you before you had the time to register what was going on. “Are you free tonight?”

Coughing on your cigarette, Jesse slapped your back and laughed softly while you cleared your throat and smiled painfully at her. “Tonight? Uhm m’not sure, why?” 

“I was wondering if you wanted to come over and have dinner with me?”

“Tonight?”

“Yes, silly, I said tonight didn’t I?”

You could see Ellie rolling her eyes beside you from the corner of your eyes, and as much as you wanted to say no, maybe saying yes might help your case. You could try and find something else about Abby, maybe Mandy might have seen someone being rude or mean to Abby when you weren’t around. “Yeah, sure!” You agreed, a little too enthusiastically for your liking. 

“What?!” Ellie shouted. 

“Oh really? That would be wonderful, how’s 7?”

“7 is great, Mandy”

“What the fuck is wrong with you?” Ellie whisper-yelled once Mandy walked away and was so far away that she couldn’t hear you guys. “Are you fucked in the head or something?”

“Relax, If It’s just me with her, she might know something and tell me.”

Eyeing you up closely, she simply sighs and slaps your back gently. “Make sure you text or call if she starts to freak you out too much.”

“Or if she tries to kiss you again,” Jesse added with a snicker. 

“You guys are so funny, seriously, should become comedians or something.” You took another drag of your cigarette and glared at them both.

“And never be able to see your angelic face again? How would I survive?” Ellie gasped dramatically and grinned. “No but seriously, don’t give into her weirdness. Remember, only anything to do with Abby, got it?”

“Yes mom,” You huffed while Ellie simply pinched your arm and laughed at your scowl. “We have time to kill until then though. Any idea on who threatened her? I keep thinking but no one comes to mind.”

“No fuckin’ idea, Abby had her secrets, ones she didn’t tell us about, but if it risked her like, m’sure she would have told one of us right? She wouldn’t just hide it until something like this happened?” 

“None of us knew this was going to happen, let alone Abby knowing,” You murmured, using your shoe to put out the cigarette you dropped on the floor once you were done with it. “Abby used to have multiple journals, were the others not in there?”

“Not that I saw, she probably kept there somewhere else. Journals aren’t supposed to be snooped in, hiding it is what I would have done if I had one.”

“So you’re saying we look in her room again?”

“Worth a try, might find something else.”

Abby’s Dad didn’t mind that you were once again sitting in her bedroom, it was something you all did when you were younger; Abby’s house being the one that everyone hung out in the most, so changing that routine now would be pointless. 

Looking through the endless supply of books in her bookshelf, you bite back another sigh when you placed yet another back, still not finding anything that could be of use or even a fuckin’ clue, and turning around. Ellie was sitting cross-legged on the floor at the end of the bed, going through the journals you both looked through last night, and with the sigh she lets out when she throws her head back, you know it’s another deadend. 

“Nothing, again.”

Sitting down beside her, you take the journal from her hands, your fingers brush against the words, even her words were somewhat comforting to you. As you fumbled with the pages, you were suddenly intrigued with what Ellie was doing; Reading notes you all used to write for each other if one of you had gotten into trouble with your parents, and weren’t allowed to leave the house. “Abby never got in trouble, like ever,” She laughed.

“Because we never told Jerry about the other shit,” You snickered, the memory of Abby trying weed for the first time, and her Dad freaking out when you both arrived home, slightly buzzed out your minds, trying to act normal. “He knows about most of the weed stories, but not the insane shit we used to get up to as kids.”

“We were fuckin’ crazy, weren’t we?”

“Oh, we should have been shipped off to the ward for the shit we did.”

“Remember Brenda thinking she had rats in the shop? But it was just us making it seem like she was going crazy?”

“I still regret that, I wouldn’t have done it if you didn’t give me 4 joints before,” You threw your head back and laughed. Your laughter died down quite quickly when you brushed your thumb against the edge of the page, a sharp pain shooting through your hand. “Shit! Ow.”

“Fuck you do?”

“Paper cut,” You grumbled and looked down at your small wound.

Only for your eyes to widen at the slight kink in the paper.

“Ellie”

“Did you know that Abby used to call you butterfly?” Ellie, oblivious to your stare, laughed.

“Ellie” You repeated, louder this time.

“What?”

Turning to face you, her eyes land on the paper instead of your face, and the letters fall from between her fingers once you’re peeling apart two pieces that had somewhat been glued together. 

“Typical Abby, fair play,” Ellie murmured once you pushed the two pieces apart.

A whole new entry. 

Tuesday, 4th May 2015

I can feel her. She’s everywhere. She’s told me to back off, but what do I say when she notices I’m pulling away? I can’t even smile at her without it being a problem. What if she kills me? She’s crazy, I don’t think anyone understands. I tried to keep her away, but she’s clawing her way into everything and tearing things apart. At night, I can see her outside the window, looking at me, smiling at me, looking at me like she wants to kill me. Who do I tell? Who can I go to without making it a big issue? Is she really capable of killing me? Making me disappear? 

What if she kills me?

What if she does?

What if this is the last time I’ll see my friends, my dad, my journals?

What……………….

Closing the book quickly, Ellie flinches beside you at the force, and you pinch the bridge of your nose. “This is getting fuckin’ weird.” You admitted. “I’m going to kill whoever it is.”

“Let’s not jump to those conclusions just yet, is there anything else?”

“No, it’s the only page we haven’t seen. So it’s a woman, a woman was the last person to see her, right? That’s gotta be the only reason right now. We have nothing else and if there is other stuff, we’re fuckin’ missing it.”

“I can look through everything again when you’re with that crazy one, see if we missed anything. I don’t mind drinking another black coffee, some energy drinks and staying awake all night.” Ellie joked.

“I don’t mind going through it all again with you when I get back. We’re still meeting up later, yeah?”

“If she doesn’t somehow kidnap you and trick you into dating you, yeah.” 

6:45pm rolled around quickly and you found yourself standing outside of Mandy’s house, one hand shoved in your jacket pocket while the other was at your side, and patiently waiting. Just as you were about to knock a second time, the door swung open to reveal a very happy Mandy, smile so wide you could see her teeth. “You made it!”

“Course,” You laughed, digging your hand deeper into your pocket. “Sorry m’early,”

“Don’t worry, earlier the better! Come in, it’s cold out here tonight,” 

Stepping aside to let you in, Mandy’s hand brushes against yours as you walk past her and into her warmer house, oblivious to the way her eyes raked over you, almost a little too desperately. “The food is in the oven, should be ready soon, can I take your jacket?”

“Nah, you’re alright, It’s freezing out there, gotta warm myself up a little.” You smiled, eyes instantly noticing just how neatly the table was set. The candles flickered almost angrily, the cutlery placed perfectly, and the tablecloth somehow matched everything. “This is nice,”

“Yes, isn’t it? I wanted it to be perfect for you.” Mandy commented softly. “I’m just going to check on the food, feel free to take a seat, get yourself comfortable and stuff, I won’t be long.”

“Take your time.”

Just as you sat down at her table, a sudden loud banging had you flinching in your seat. You looked over at Mandy who halted in her steps not even 5 minutes later when she reappeared from the kitchen and from where you were sitting you could see and hear her grinding her teeth together. “What was that?” 

“The neighbors are probably decorating again, It’s starting to get on my nerves If I’m being honest.”

“At 7:30?” You laughed nervously.

“They have no consideration for those who live beside them. I’ll start giving them a piece of my mind If they keep it up,” She explained, placing the hot pot in the middle of the table with a bright and wide smile. “There! Can I get you anything to drink? Water? Juice? Wine?”

“Smells amazing,” You smiled and got a little more comfortable in your seat before looking at her again. “Water’s fine, thank you.”

“It’s my Mother’s recipe, nothing beats a homemade meal,” Mandy’s smile never left her face, not even when you quickly dug into the fresh meal. “I’ll be back with your water.”

You were almost done with half of your food by the time she came back with a fresh glass of water, and you looked at her with a thankful smile when she placed it beside your plate. “Thank you,” You mumbled before furrowing your eyebrows. “Sorry, that’s gross.”

“No, no it’s cute, don’t worry.” She giggled, sitting in her own chair. 

As she started digging into her meal, her eyes would flutter over at you, but you seem really into whatever it was that she made to notice the subtle flirtatious eyes she was making at you. It was delicious, and you loved food, so you couldn’t complain now could you? “This is really good,” You mumbled between chews. 

“I’ll thank my mother for you when I see her again.” Mandy smiled.

“You might want to give me the recipe, it’s so good.”

“As much as I like you, I can’t do that, family recipe.” She smirked widely. 

Mandy continued to eat her food, little moans of delight falling from her mouth with each bite she took, while you were suddenly falling into your own world. Mandy hadn’t seemed to notice you had stopped replying to what she was asking you, or just wanted to get the food out of the way before she continued. Either way, it didn’t seem to affect her much. All you could seriously think about was Abby, hoping that she had some source of something to keep her hoping and until you could find her. 

“Are you okay? You’ve gone quiet,” Mandy murmured finally, finishing the final piece of her food. “Is it the food? Is it not sitting right with you?”

“No! No the food was amazing, m’just thinking, nothing to worry about.”

“Worried about what?”

“Just worried about Abby is all, like I said, nothing to worry about.” You smiled and wiped your face with the napkin you had on your lap. 

You hadn’t noticed the way the smile on her face dropped and just stared at you. “Were you close? You and Abby?” She asked.

“Since we were babies pretty much,” 

“That’s nice, nice to have someone close to you and that you can trust, I suppose.” Her voice suddenly got a little quieter, and nursed her glass of wine. “How do you know she didn’t just leave willingly?”

“Abby wouldn’t have left Jerry without a reason, she wouldn’t have left us, left me, without a reason.” You frowned, eyes focused on the empty plate before you. “She’s not the type of person to run away. Even when things are hard, she comes to me for help and she didn’t—”

“Was she in trouble?”

“Someone didn’t like her, threatened her, and I didn’t even know. If she told me, I could have helped her, kept her safe.”

“S’not your job to protect everyone,” Mandy smiled softly, watching you closely. “You know that right? You can’t save everyone, especially if they can’t even save themselves.” Her fingers graze yours on the top of the table, you weren’t even sure how or when she moved hers but when you felt them against yours, your eyes locked with hers. “Maybe Abby left because there are better things out there for her, or maybe she just wanted to see something new.”

“Without me?” The crack in your voice was evident. 

“Anyone can leave if they truly need to or want to,” Her fingers continued to brush against yours with each word and you couldn’t even move. “People expect so much from people around here, we’re all trying to live, find someone, and get on with our lives, and sometimes that can be too much for one person to handle. Maybe Abby didn’t want to burden you with a thought she might have had.”

“Her burdens are mine,” You murmured. “Whatever she deals with, we deal with it together.”

Her hand retracted from yours quickly, once again you didn’t notice the scowl on her face, and grabbed your plate from in front of you as well as her own before making her way into the kitchen. “Would you like some dessert?” She asked, abandoning the conversation altogether.

“Oh, uh, sure?”

The light above flickered, making a soft buzzing sound as the room felt colder again. Sunlight wasn’t a luxury anymore, even if it was so desperately needed. Mold has started coming in quicker than before. Even the eerie darkness is something straight out of a nightmare. The only thing in the room that was noticeable was the small lamp on the floor, but even that wasn’t bright enough. It never was. 

By the time Mandy came back with two bowls in her hands, you were standing by the bookshelf, running your fingers over the spines of what you can already tell are very old books. “Didn’t know you liked to read books?” You asked, looking over at her.

“Oh yeah! I love books, mostly the classics, but the thriller ones are my favorite. Could read them all day. I actually have to return those to Brenda soon, had them way too long.” She giggled and placed the bowls on the table. “What is your favorite?”

“The Shining.” 

“Haven’t read it before, do you have a copy I could borrow?”

“Yeah sure, I’ll find it and give It to you.”

“Perfect, let’s eat dessert!”

“Glad you’re back in one piece,” Ellie was the first to comment when she noticed you walking into the bar an hour later. “Didn’t try to shove her tongue down your throat this time?” 

“Like you tried with Abby that one time you got drunk?” You quipped back with a lazy grin and slumped into the chair beside her. “Nah, she just kept touching my hand, not trying to kiss me this time.”

“Oh? Are you lovebirds now?”

“Knock it off, El.” Jesse laughed and continued to sip his beer.

“No, you imbecile, she did get weird whenever I spoke about Abby though,” You shrugged, pinching some of Ellie’s chips. “Like, she just got up and went to get dessert?”

“She’s always been weird, so fuckin’ obsessed with you for a start.” It was Jesse this time. 

“Really? I never got that vibe before,”

“You wouldn’t, you’re like so fucking oblivious to most shit,” Ellie snorted. “You didn’t even realize I  was flirting with you when I first met you. Took you 4 months to say, Ellie, were you asking me on a date that one time? Oblivious.”

“In my defense, you fuckin’ flirt with everyone,” You defended with a soft laugh, and eyed up the pictures on the table. “What are you guys doing anyway?”

“Well, while you and Barbie were having your little date, me and Jesse were going through the rest of the pictures. Nothing has jumped out yet, but I do have a feeling something will point us in the right direction this time.”

“Right, pass us some then,” 

“Of course your majesty.”

“Fuck off, man,” You snickered and snatched the pile from her hand. “Oh, you know the family that lives beside Mandy?”

“Huh? Beside Mandy?”

“Yeah, the family that lives next door?”

“No one has lived in that house for like 4 years,” Ellie blinked, confusion written all over her face.

“Oh, she said they were decorating or something earlier, there was banging and that’s what she told me.” 

“Joel knows more than me about anyone, I’ll ask him later, see if anyone’s moved in since the other family,” Ellie promised with a tired smile.

“Thanks, El,” A chip that you flicked hit her in the chin and you held back a laugh when her eyes widened and she suddenly scowled at you. “Sorry, you looked like you needed something to cheer you up. Did you sleep much last night?” 

“A few hours, better than none, right?” The smile she gave you didn’t reach her face. Everyone is like that lately and you sadly understood why. The community wasn’t exactly whole right now. 

“Want to watch a movie tonight?” You suggested as you ate some more chips.

“What one?”

“Uhm, you pick, I don’t mind which one.”

“Don’t wanna freak anyone out or anything,”

“What is it?”

“There’s someone in the background of the picture you and Abby took the night before, well, you know, you can’t see much but It’s someone for sure,” Jesse mumbled and slid the picture over to you. 

The background is blurry, you notice that much at first but as you squint your eyes just a little more, a black silhouette is something you can pick out. Standing behind what you can only assume Is one of the trees just across the ways of the pond both you and Abby spent a lot of time at. “It’s too dark, I can’t fucking pick out who it is,” You huffed. “Do you think It might be who threatened her?”

“And risk getting caught when she’s with you? Knowing damn well you’d knock their teeth out?” Ellie laughed.

“Anything’s possible, El.”

“Let’s say this is them, how do we find out who it is?”

“Could host a small get-together tomorrow night here, remembering Abby or something, and we all write something for her, see if someone slips up and exposes themselves?” Jesse suggests, looking between you and Ellie. 

“It could work,” Both you and Ellie answered at the same time. “But how would we know who it is if they turn up and say something bad?”

“No idea, but we’ll figure it out as we go. Haven’t we always done that?” He smiled and pushed the rest of the pictures which were of no use back into the box before putting the lid on. “We’ve always had each other's back, that’s not going to change.” 

“I’ll do whatever It takes If It means we’re one step closer to finding Abby.” You agreed. 

“Alright, you’ve pulled my leg, I’m in too.” Ellie dramatically huffed but the smile on her lips gave her away. “Let’s watch that sappy romance movie,”

“Which one?”

“Abby’s favorite.”

“You, Ellie Williams, want to watch Love Actually? Willingly?”

“Why are you saying my name like that?! Yes, let’s watch it.” She scoffed and slapped the back of your head when she stood up. “Besides, you and Abby can bully me all you want for wanting to watch it when she’s back with us.” 

“She’ll never let you live it down, you know what right?”

“Yeah, but It’s worth It, she is too.” Ellie winked. 

—

The following evening dawned on you quicker than you would have liked. All of you were on edge. The picture, the missing charms, the truth that someone didn’t like Abby had you, Ellie and Jesse looking around the bar with caution. 

The remembrance of Abby had the all clear, everyone helped and chipped in where they could. Jerry was over the moon when you told him that you guys were doing this for her. Maybe in hopes that it would bring you one step closer, or maybe one step closer to her coming home.   

Thursday, 6th June 2015 

“Abby, you look beautiful, why are you panicking?” Abby was sitting on the edge of her bed, fumbling with her bracelet yet not looking at you. “Hey, Abs, what’s up?” You crouched in front of her and took her hands into yours with a soft smile.

“I don’t feel beautiful,” She admitted sadly.

“Oh, Abby, you are beautiful. Everything about you is beautiful, your soul is perfect and stunning. You are the most beautiful person in the world. Your hair is beautiful, your smile is beautiful, your pretty eyes are stunning,” Her sniffle caused you to pause, reach your hand up and wipe it away. “Everything about you is beautiful.”

“Really?”

Cupping her face between your hands, you press you lips against her forehead and smile. “Yes, really, you are so fuckin’ beautiful.” You whispered into her skin. “I promise, love.”

How could you not see the pain she was holding back, behind the little glint in her eye?

“To Abby!”

Jerry’s voice brought you back to reality, smiled at everyone who raised a glass in her honor and nodded to himself as he walked down the small steps. “Thank you for coming,” He murmured to a few of the older couples who gave him a gentle hug and a soft reassurance. “I know that Abby would have loved to see you guys together again.” 

On edge, you looked around the bar slowly, trying to pick out anyone that was acting weird or unusually suspicious. That’s how you looked at most people these days, picking them out one by one, wondering if they had done or said anything to Abby the night she vanished. You spotted Ellie doing the same on the other side of the room, taking small unsuspicious glances at everyone who came in and left. “Here,”

To your left, Jesse was holding a beer towards you, which you took with a soft thank you, and leaned against the wall with you. “Anyone catch your eye yet?”

“Not yet, everyone seems to be kind, and talking to Jerry, cheering him up and stuff,” You mumbled between sips, eyes still moving around as each person moves around before you. “I don’t think they would hide, we know most people here, if anyone’s missing, we’ll know.”

“And if they do choose to miss something that is important to the community, then they are hiding something.” Jesse added. 

“Exactly, I don’t think they’re stupid enough to let it slip, know that we know something.”

“Did that guy who told you she was arguing with someone tell you anything else or?”

“Deadend, he just smiles at me all weird like now when I see him.” You grimaced and took a big gulp of your beer. 

“It’s that friendly smile you have.”

“Eat a dick.” You laughed.

In the middle of the bar, there was a box, which gave people to write notes, poems, or even just one word, so that when Abby did come back home, she would have kind things to read, and hopefully it would be able to cheer everyone else up when they read a few of them nearing the end of the night. You thought the idea was a good one when Jerry asked you about it this morning. He enjoyed having your input when it came to his daughter. 

You wrote something simple, not overdone, but a little i miss you and i love you more than anything. It meant more than anything, Abby would know that if she was here right now, reading them. You always noticed the way she would blush and look away when you would tell her you love her before you either hung up after being on a phone call with her for hours, or even when you left her house. “I love you.” You murmured, folded the piece of paper and pressed you lips to it. 

Ellie smiled from across the room.

She always found it amusing it took you years to know you were indeed madly in love with your best friend. 

“Hey,”

You almost gave yourself whiplash with how fast you turned around to find Dina looking at you and nervously fumbling with her fingers. “Dina, hey,” You smiled awkwardly. 

“Do you hate me? It would make sense if you did, with how I pulled away from you all, but with Abby going missing, I just got scared, and being around you guys made me miss her so much.” Dina rushed out.

“I don’t hate you,” You reassured her quietly. “I understand though, it’s okay, we all deal with it differently, but I don’t hate you, none of us do.”

“Is Ellie okay?” She asked hesitantly.

“I don’t think so, but she’s getting there,” You admitted truthfully. “You should talk to her.”

“Wouldn’t that be awkward?”

“Nothing’s awkward unless you make it awkward.” You winked with a soft laugh.

“Right, I’ll go and see her, if she starts freaking out, you should probably come over or something.” Dina smiled.

“Will do.”

If it wasn’t for the fact you were already looking at Ellie, you would have had a stroke when you heard the loud crashing of her falling off the chair when she noticed Dina making her way towards her. Snorting under your breath, you shook your head, pushed yourself off the wall and made a beeline straight for the beer. “Usual?” Elaine, the older woman who took over the bar after her husband passed, smiled when you were quick to nod and slump yourself against the counter. “You look tired, you sleepin’?”

“When I can, which isn’t much,” You mumbled softly with a subtle shrug. “But what can you do? Sleep is the last thing I need right now.”

“Maybe you need just a little bit to find her.”

Pushing the beer into your direction, she laughed at the way your lips parted as you grabbed it; ready to ask her how she knew. “Jerry told me earlier when he came here to set up. It’s a good thing, you know? Abby adored you, and I know how much you care about her.”

“I seem to be getting nowhere when I feel like m’finally getting somewhere.”

“There’s more out there than meets the eye, Honey,” Elaine smiled. “You just have to look closer.”

“What do you—”

“Y/N?” Jerry called out.

God fucking damn it.

At his voice, you turn your body slightly, almost stiffly and raise an eyebrow at him. You quietly excuse yourself from the conversation you got yourself into with Elaine when he waved you over, and took a couple of strides towards him, placing your almost empty bottle of beer on the table beside you. “What’s up?”

“I was just going through some of the notes, you know, the ones people left for Abs, and I found this. What does it mean?” He explained, slightly rushed and shoved a piece of paper into your hands with worry written all over his face. “Did someone hurt her? Take her from me? Why?”

Your eyebrows furrow as you look down at the slip of paper in your hands, looking back up at him confused. “What is it?” 

“Read it, It’ll make more sense if you see it.”

Doing as you’re told, you don’t have time to acknowledge the small fact that your hands start to tremble as you unfold the little note with caution. Your lips part, body tensing as your eyes widen as you read over the note slowly. Not fully understanding. “Someone put this here?” You asked, voice cracking. “When?”

“I’m not sure, so many people have been leaving notes. I wouldn’t have been able to catch who.” Jerry shook his head, and gripped the edge of the table tightly. “If someone’s hurt her, m’gonna kill them. M’gonna kill them, Y/N”

“Not before us,” You murmured, already looking around the room. “Who was in charge of the box?”

“Me, and a couple of others, but this is the only bad one.”

“You’ve looked at the rest?”

“Of course.”

“Alright, put it somewhere else, out of sight from everyone. If this is the only bad one, then it’s possible they’re just trying to scare us, making up a lie about what’s happened to her. She’s fine, okay? Abby is strong, and we’re gonna find her.” You nodded. You weren’t sure who you were trying to reassure more, you or Jerry? Both of you? The whole town?

“What are you going to do?” He blinked.

“Figure it out. That’s what m’gonna do.”

The night rushed along slowly as you, and a bunch of others made your way out of the bar, cigarette hanging between your lips and a cold beer in your hands. The note played on your mind angrily, eating and chewing away at your brain, almost trying to claw its way out of your head as you inhaled hit after hit of your cigarette. Who here hates Abby enough to hurt her? Take her away? She was nice to everyone, always offering to help someone who needed it, never letting the older people carry stuff too heavy, Abby wouldn’t hurt a fly, so why would they feel the need to hurt her? Take her away from where she loves? From the people she adores? It doesn't make sense. 

The longer you stood there, practically taking Ellie’s thought into consideration, pulling out cigarette after cigarette, the darkness seemed to loom and lurk more creepy than any other night. Almost like it was mocking you, judging you from afar as you tried to wrap your head around everything. Even the journal pages still don’t make sense to you and it’s been over a week since the first. It’s like she left, and suddenly you’re trying to figure out a really fucked up riddle in order to get you prize, the prize being Abby once everything slots into place like a puzzle.

“Let’s get you home, Honey. Night time around here has become a little scarier than before.” You spot a mother wrapping her daughter up on her scarf and jacket before holding onto her hand tightly after she places a kiss on her forehead. “Stay close to Mommy and you’ll be okay, alright?”

You wish Abby stayed close to you. 

You watch the family walk away down the path, the lights casting a shadow around them. Like a possessed child, the shadow like a demon hanging on by a thread as they were no longer in your peripheral each step they took until they were around the corner. Gone just like Abby. 

As you dropped your cigarette on the ground, you caught something behind one of the trees when you looked back up, lurking in the darkness and your body suddenly tensed on the spot. Did Abby feel like this? Did she feel like her entire soul left her body when she knew someone was watching her? Following her? 

“Hey!” You shouted, dropping your bottle in the process as you walked over to them, or trying to. It seemed like you had slightly spooked them, not aware you were staring right at them. “Hey!” This time you started running as you saw the rustle of the leaves, the snapping of twigs under their feet. “Stop running away!” You called out, pushing the branches out of your way. 

Were you really doing this right now? Running after someone who could easily just kill you?

In your eyes, you could see the outline of their figure under the moonlight, shimming between trees, jumping over tree’s that’ve been left to fend for themselves over the years, and even though the pain and burn in your legs were starting to ache more and more the longer you ran after them, you couldn’t stop. You needed to do this no matter the outcome. “Stop running away from me!” You shouted, jumping over the same tree as they did. “I just want to talk! That’s all! Stop fuckin’ running!” You huffed.

You didn’t see the branch hanging in front of you, or the rock on the floor, not until tripped, your face smacked into the branch harshly and landed on the floor with a loud thud. “Fuck,” You groaned, cupping your nose quickly with a wince. “Fuck!” You yelled, spitting out the dirt. 

Rolling yourself over slowly, you puffed out a sigh as your eyes fluttered open; the midnight sky lurked down at you, almost inviting it to eat you whole. If it could reach out and grab you, you would be the darkness’s first victim. The chitter of insects in between the long grass had your ears perking up as you sat up. Cupping the back of your head, you hissed and screwed your eyes shut tightly and pulled yourself up off the floor. 

Looking around, even though it was no use and they were probably gone already, you stumbled towards one of the trees and leaned against it tiredly. But all things turn you angry at some point. 

All you could really think about the fact you still hadn’t found Abby the longer you slumped yourself there, and that was enough to anger you enough until you repeatedly punched at the oak, over and over again until your knuckles were completely red, bits of wood stuck in your skin, but you didn’t care, if you don’t have Abby, what was the point?

“Fuck you!” Your scream echoed eerily.

The flap of bird wings rang out loudly around you.

It took you an hour to trek back to the town. You held your hand against your chest, your nose stung like a bitch but this was the last thing on your mind as you stumbled your way through the crowds of drunk people, not giving you a single glance or worrying about the fact your nose was still bleeding, you probably broke a few knuckles. “Jess, have you seen Y/N?” You heard Ellie’s voice but couldn’t see her. 

“Y/N? No, I haven’t seen her for a couple hours, now that I’m thinking about it.” 

“Shit, alright, uhm,” 

The sound of loud crashing caused both of them to look straight at you as you stumbled over one of the tables. “I think we found her?” Jesse laughed.

“Shit, Y/N?” Ellie’s eyes widened at the sight of your bloody nose and rushed over to your side; not before watching you struggle 4 times to stand on your feet. “Fuck, what the fuck happened to you?” She scoffed, pulling you up carefully.

“Someone,” You groaned and slumped your head against her shoulder. “Someone was watching, through the trees, ran after them but hit my head, broke my nose, I think? And then I lost them, so I punched a tree, I think my knuckles are broken.” You explained with a slight slur in your voice. “But m’fine, just need to sit down for a second.”

“That’s a lot of I thinks, we can’t leave you alone for five fuckin’ minutes.” Ellie muttered under her breath and wrapped her arm around your waist tightly. “Let’s get you to mine, Joel’s out with Tommy so he won’t ask questions.” 

With the help of her and Jesse, you made it to Ellie’s house in one piece, well minus your dignity that the tree smacked out of you, but you still made it without another fall. They had managed to patch up your knuckles, and stopped the bleeding of your nose, ignoring every curse and wince that fell from between your bloody lips; telling you that it was your own fault for going without some kind of help or backup. “So who did you see?” Jesse asked, dropping the dirty rags in the bin and turning to face you again.

“I was drinking my beer, and then I saw someone behind the trees, if this is the same person who was watching Abby, I can tell you it would have freaked anyone out—”

“Says the one who ran after them.” Ellie scoffed from beside you.

“You were talkin’ to Dina, and Jesse was, well Jesse was where he usually goes, which is where? I don’t know.” You glared at the pair of them. “But m’here, no?”

“Luckily.” Ellie sighed and pulled the tissue from out of your nose carefully. “What if something else seriously bad happened to you? And no one was there to get you?”

“M’not going anywhere—”

“You don’t fuckin’ know that! You can’t just disappear without telling one of us. That’s not fair.”

The panic and worry in Ellie’s eyes is something you haven’t seen since Abby went missing. She didn’t talk about how she felt, but her eyes and face did, which is why your shoulder sagged and you nodded slowly. “I know, El, m’sorry, okay?” You smiled sadly.

“For what it’s worth, this whole look—” She pointed to your entire face with a laugh. “Is so worth it. M’gonna tell Abby you risked breaking your knuckles and nose for her.”

“And she’ll ignore me for a week—”

“A week? She will ignore you for a solid 5 seconds before she’s asking you to cuddle her.” Jesse laughed with a slow head shake. “Did you find anything else out? Minus the dumb injuries?”

“There’s one thing Jerry showed me.”

“What is it?”

Reaching into your back pocket with a quiet groan, you pulled the slip of paper out and handed it to Ellie, who was watching you closely. “That’s all that happened tonight.”

Unfolding it, exactly like you did earlier tonight, Ellie’s eyebrows furrow into a tight frown almost and nothing comes out of her mouth when opens it and instead she looks back at you with wide eyes. “This happened tonight?”

“Let me see,” Jesse held his hand out and took it from her. His eyes widen too. “How didn’t we notice? How many people were going to that box?”

“M’not sure.”

Does a domino effect really have to happen in my life? You thought.

Ellie, who’s usually the one to be the first to ask what’s next, doesn’t do that, instead she looks at you and frowns. “You need to rest, If Jesse has to leave, I can figure out what’s next for this sudden murder club search party, but you need to get some sleep, and I won’t take no for an answer. Got it?”

“El—”

“I said got it?”

Slumping against the bed, you simply nodded like a lost puppy and folded your arms over your chest, completely forgetting about your broken knuckles you winced. “Fine, but if you find anything, wake me up, yeah? Please?” 

“If you’re knocked out cold, then no, but I will if you aren’t.”

“The tree already knocked her out cold” Jesse chimed in with a sudden laugh.

“Both of you go fuck yourself!”

Brenda, poor woman was reading through one of her own books, jolted in her spot and looked up when the bell on the door rang, and held back a sigh at the sight of you and Ellie stumbling in through the small door with curses and grumbles. “Brenda! My favourite lady!”

“Ellie, may I remind you of the time you almost broke my window? we aren’t even acquaintances”

“I paid for it to be fixed, didn’t I?!” Ellie moaned and kicked the floor childishly. “Can we look at that book you keep when people loan or bring back books? We have something we want to compare,”

“For?”

“Just something we are working on, please? It’ll only take a couple minutes,” Your friend begged, leaned over the counter and pouted. “I will even ask Joel if he will take you on that date!”

“Date?! Excuse me—”

“You’re in love with Joel, do this for me, and then I’ll get you that date with him”

“Fine, but don’t knock anything over like last time, It took me an hour to fix everything.” She scowled and walked away. 

“You’re the best!” Ellie shouted after her. 

The flight flickered on, and the sounds of loud banging could wake anyone up, even the small insects that lurk in the long grass outside in the wilderness. “Need to take these back, hope you enjoyed those pathetic reads.” They mumbled, snatching the books from the dirty floor and scoffed. “Don’t understand what’s so special about them or you. Also, I can't afford to borrow anymore so this is the last of them for you.”

Just as fast it went on, the light was gone and it felt even colder once the door slammed shut. 

Hunching over the counter, Ellie spots the thick yet old book and grabs it with both hands, a soft grunt slipping past her lips before pulling it over the counter and dropping it on the oak, the loud bang causing you to flinch and flick her ear. “Ow!” 

“That’s for trying to give me a heart attack.” You scoffed and slapped her shoulder. “So this was your big plan? Look through the names until one stands out?”

“Yeah or until we find one that matches, I guess?”

“Brenda, I know i’m late with returning these books but— Hey!” Mandy halted in her steps mid way through the door when she spotted you and Ellie leaning on the counter, looking through something. “Loaning another book, Y/N?”

“Oh, no not today, just finding something for Joel.” You lied, Ellie almost snickering behind her hand at your blatant lie. “You read them already?”

“Oh yeah! I had some free time after you left last night, really enjoyed them” 

“What was your favourite?”

The question caught her off guard as her lips formed into a pout as she thought about it. “Uh, I really liked Pride and Prejudice, the others were boring but that one was amazing.”

No one in this town apart from me and Abby love that book. You thought.

“Ah, well m’glad you enjoyed it. Do you still want to borrow my copy of the shining?” 

Mandy chewed her inner cheek before nodding a little too quickly and smiled again. “Yeah, of course! Those stupid neighbors finally stopped decorating so I can probably get a night in to read some of it!”

“Mandy, hello Love.” Brenda appeared with a mug in her hand and a plate of biscuits. “Returning them already? That was fast.”

Placing the stack of books on the counter, Mandy simply gave her a warm smile, one that was slowly starting to creep you out, and tucked a strand of hair behind her ear. “Can’t afford to borrow anymore for a while, my brain is fried with all the stories I’ve read this week.”

“No worries, Honey, just sign in the books you borrowed and they’ll be more for you next time when you do want to read again. Girls, can she use that for a second and then you can get back to whatever you were doing.”

“A date is on the line, Brenda, don’t rush me”

“I’ll rush you both out of that door,” Brenda smirked and the words died in throat once Ellie nodded her head quickly, picked up the book and practically shoved it in shocked Mandy’s hand with a stutter of words. “Thank you.”

“Do you have a pen I could borrow?”

Reaching for the one beside you, you hold it out towards her, which she takes with a soft thank you, places the book back on the counter and doodles her name onto the sheet of paper. “Thank you again, Brenda. You always have a really good selection of books!”

“You’re more than welcome, Love.”

“See you later, Y/N?”

“What’s happening later?” Ellie eyed her.

“It’s that party thing, dunno if m’going though,” You smile and shoved your hands into your pockets. “If I do, I assume you’re going?”

“Yes! The only time I get to be free and myself, I guess. So I’ll be there. If you do change your mind and come, I’ll see you there?”

“For sure.” Another tight lipped smile. 

Mandy took her leave not long after, leaving you and Ellie to your little search once more and Brenda took herself into a little corner of the shop to what you could only assume was to read one of her books. “Now that she’s gone,” Ellie trailed off.

Opening the book again, you brush your fingers down the list of people until it lands on hers; furrowing your eyebrows when you look at the book in front of you again, you lean your face closer and look at the signature a little longer, for far too long until you’re shoving your hand in your back pocket, rummaging around for the slip of paper you and Ellie took last night. “What are you doing?” Ellie laughed, watching you struggle.

Pride and Prejudice ………………………… Mandy ♡ 

“Look at her name,” You murmured, pulling the slip of paper out.

“Whos? Mandy’s?”

“The way she’s spelt it.”

Once you unfolded the paper, your eyes flickered between the slip between your fingers, and the name in the book, Ellie doing the same, having to lean over you. “Wait,” She paused, snatching it from you and taking a look for herself. 

Ellie looks at her name, and then at the note again;

ABBY DESERVED WHAT SHE GOT. ♡

“Did she just—”

“The fuckin’ heart, Ellie.”

“Wait, is she really that fucking insane?” Ellie looked at the slip still in shock. “Are you joking me? She’s been under our nose this entire time?”

“So, the banging I heard?”

“Wasn’t anyone fucking decorating that’s for sure.”

“Before we jump to conclusions, let’s just go get something to eat, m’starving, and go through what we have. Anyone could write hearts next to their name.”

“In the exact same way she does it? I doubt it.” Ellie murmured, tore the page out of the book quickly and stuffed it in her jacket pocket. Glaring at your stare. “What? Brenda won’t fuckin’ miss it.”

Shuffling out of the door, you and Ellie spot Mandy happily skipping away, and the sight has your friend scowling ad mumbling incoherently under her breath, “Why’s she so fuckin’ happy all the time? Has she never dealt with sadness or hurt in her life?” 

Nudging her shoulder with yours as you both walk, you shook your head. “Apparently not. Look at me, depressed as fuck.”

“Same,” Ellie looked at you before you both burst out into a laugh. “Man, if she’s somehow done anything to be the reason Abby went missing, m’gonna kill her. You know that right? I don’t care what you say, I’ll do it.”

“Ellie—”

“No, whoever took Abby from us, is going six feet under. You can’t stop me.”

“Let’s feed you, that monster is hungry—”

“Y/N, m’not joking, this isn’t a joke—”

“I know, and that’s what’s scaring me right now, Ellie.”

Pushing past you with a grumble at your words, Ellie’s quick to find a seat in the far corner, out of the way from people, and ushers you to hurry up. “I’ll be right with you, Honey, just have to get a few orders out of the way.” The old woman smiled from behind the counter.

“No worries!”

Unzipping your jacket, and placing it on the back of your chair, you sit down opposite Ellie and really look at her. She’s frowning, which means she’s deep in thought again, and that only means she’s planning something, something that you aren’t sure is supposed to scare you or make you happy. The bags under her eyes are much darker than they were last week, so that’s a clue she’s not been sleeping no matter how many times she’s told you she has been. Her lips are in a tight line. Even her smile lines are vanishing. “And then I think— Why are you lookin’ at me like that?” She mumbled, catching you staring. 

“S’nothing, you just look exhausted,” You offered a soft smile. “What are we eating?”

“I’ll just share with you, order whatever.”

Ellie was always a picky eater, well she says she is but always steals any of the food you make or buy, and went with something simple when it was your turn to order food; a bowl of chips, salsa and a chicken sandwich. “—And then we have the note, if that crazy psycho took the book out last week, then Abby’s alive, which means she has to be here somewhere, and we’re just not looking hard enough—”

“The woman at the bar, who got me a beer, told me that we need to look closer, so you might be right,” You nodded, munching on your chips. “She might know something, but doesn’t want to get too close to it, I don’t blame her, this whole thing has been freakin’ me the fuck out.”

“So Abby’s here somewhere?” Ellie took a handful of chips and ate them slowly. “That’s what we’re going with?”

“Yeah, but where? We know this place like the back of our hands. We would have found her already by now.”

“That’s where m’confused because I don’t know. I have no idea where she could be—”

“Y/N, Ellie! I’m so glad I found you guys!” Brenda’s voice rings out.

The pair of you turn in your seats, and look at her with your mouths full with food, and staring like a deer in headlights. “Brenda, miss us already? It’s been 30 minutes.” You coughed, swallowed your food and wiped your face. “What’s wrong?” You asked when you noticed her worried look.

“There’s something you need to see, I haven’t told anyone else yet, apart from you guys.” She rushed out, pulling a book out of her bag and placing it on the table. “I was going through them, like I always do just to make sure she didn’t rip any of the pages, some people have done it, and I found this.”

“Pride and Prejudice?” You blinked. 

“Just look at the back. please.”

Looking over at Ellie, who was just watching with confusion written all over her face and still eating, you open the book and skip through the pages, until you’re on the last page before the back. “Did you hide spiders here? To scare me?” You laughed nervously. 

“It’s about Abby.” Was all she could stutter out. 

Once the words fell from her mouth, your hands dropped the book on the final page, and all of you looked down at it. Staring at it like the horribly written words were going to jump out of the page and eat you. “She took this book out last week.”

M….Mandy

Crazy… 

Abby

“Is that—” Ellie swallowed and locked eyes with you. “She’s still—”

“Alive.”

“So what’s the plan?” Ellie mumbled into your ear, the 3 of you watching a very happy Mandy dancing with her friends, and snatched your beer from your hand. “We corner her?”

“Not here,” You shook your head. “Too obvious. She would see it coming.”

“You think she knows we know?” Jesse asked. 

“I don’t think so, If she knows that we know, I don’t think she would have shown up tonight,” You grabbed a handful of chips and shoved them into your mouth. “Besides, this way, we can observe her, try catching her saying or doing anything that could expose her.”

“We’ve been looking through so much shit for the last month, why can’t I just hit her?” Ellie grumbled and slumped in the chair like a scolded child with a pout on her face. 

“Look what happened to Y/N when she went against a tree,”

“Jesse! Stop bringin’ up that fucking tree.” You groaned and threw your head back.

“It’s funny!” He laughed. 

“Your poor nose didn’t think so,” Ellie cooed playfully and kissed your cheek. “Don’t tell Abby, she will actually kill me for that.”

“Leave my nose alone!”

Amongst your conversation with your friends, you hadn’t notice Mandy walking over to your table until she slid into the empty chair beside Jesse and that’s when all the laughter died down. “Who died?” She giggled, words slightly slurred. “I’m just coming to see how you are doing.”

“M’good,”

“Been better.”

“I think I’m gonna get another drink, Ellie? Y/N? You guys want anything?”

“Two beers!” Ellie cheered.

Fumbling with the bowl of chips, your eyes flicker between Jesse at the bar, and Mandy who was happily sipping her drink through a straw, not worried about the fact you were either about to lose your shit, or throw a chair at her. “So, how’s the search going?”

“S’fine,” You shrugged, not wanting to give her too much without her catching on that you knew. “Keep hitting deadends, but it’s fine besides that.”

“You’re smart, you’ll figure it out.”

Ellie makes a face of disgust at her, her need and want to just throw something at this girl gets stronger every time she opens her mouth with something ridiculous. “Is Jesse making the beers or something? Why is he taking so long?”

“Ellie, half the town is here,” You laughed and threw a chip at her. “Be patient.”

“It’s hard to have that when you live here.” She grumbled and leant her head on your shoulder. “Wake me up when he’s back.”

“You got it, El.” You laughed. 

You hadn’t expected her to actually fall asleep, but when you feel her body slumping more into your side not even 10 minutes later, you’re quick to wrap your arm around her to stop her from falling off the chair and onto the floor. Nor do you notice the look of annoyance on Mandy’s face, still sipping her drink. “I would have guessed Jerry would have been helping you search for Abby. Did you say that was her name?”

The question catches you off guard, slightly offended she even thought of it let alone asked it; Jerry spent countless months of time over several months searching for her. Never eating or sleeping, he stayed awake in hopes she would walk through the door at any given moment. “How long have you lived here?” You found yourself asking and cocking your head to the side.

“How long have I lived here? Oh, since I was like 8 or 9. Why?”

“Then you’d know we look out for our own. Same thing happened when a little boy went missing for 3 days when I turned 16, we all went looking for him and brought him home when we found him. It doesn’t matter if we have distaste or disagreements with someone, if something happens in our community, we help each other, we search, and we don’t rest until we find them.” You explained slowly, eyeing her up. “Jerry doesn’t sleep, just because you don’t see him asking every single person where his daughter is, doesn’t mean he’s not looking. Jerry would kill everyone in his way to get to his daughter. That’s how much he gives a shit about her. We all do.”

“Would you?” It’s like your words didn’t phase her. 

“Would I what?”

“Kill someone to get her?”

Looking down at Ellie, your eyebrow raises just slightly, and it’s back to normal before she can blink and when you chuckle, her skin crawls. “S’not me they should be worried about. When we find whoever took her, m’gonna have to keep Ellie on a tight  leash or she’ll be like a rabid dog looking for something to chew,” You paused and inhaled deeply when your eyes met. “But I would, if you want the truth. I would kill anyone if it meant I could have Abby back.”

“Do you have it in you?”

“If the right person fucks with my family, yeah,” The smirk you gave her caused Mandy to shift around in her seat comfortably. A sense of terror seeps into the cracks of her skin and travels up her spine. “I wouldn’t hesitate to put a bullet between their fuckin’ eyes, unless Ellie gets to it before I do.”

“Make it seem like a horror movie.” She giggled.

“I think we’re scarier than anything in a horror movie you’ve seen before, Mandy.”

On a note, she hadn’t realised or seemed to have noticed just how bold and eerie you got when you would bluntly stare. Like Ellie, Mandy never understood what you were thinking about when sitting there, zoning out like a zombie. At some points she expects to start seeing cartoon bubbles with those pictures appearing by the side of your head. “What’s the scariest movie you’ve seen?”

“The life m’fucking livin’. That’s what.”

“Your life isn’t that—”

A tray of beers enters your vision as you look up to find Jesse side eyeing Mandy, and then looking at a sleeping Ellie on your shoulder. “At least she’s sleeping. What were you guys talking about?” He asked, wrapping his lips around the bottle and gulping down the liquid.

“I was just telling Mandy that m’not afraid to kill whoever took Abby from us.”

“Remember when you tried to kill that guy who stole your chips a while back?” Jesse smirked, subtly waiting for Mandy’s reaction.

“For stealing chips?” She choked out, pushing her chair out, picking up her almost empty glass and rising to her feet. 

“Oh yeah, the guy’s terrified of me.” You smiled. 

“I would have been too if you tried to kill me for taking your chips. I need to get another drink. Speaking of, do you want more chips?”

“You’re alright, your friends look like they miss you”

“They’re all drunk, but I’ll see you.”

Once she left, you finally let out a laugh. “Really Jesse? When did I try to kill a man for stealing my chips?” You shook your head and took your beer. 

“I tried to see if it would get a reaction out of her, not sure if it worked though,” He shrugged, once again taking a longer glance at Ellie. “Has she been asleep for a long?”

“Not a long time, but she just fell asleep when she came over here, I thought she was joking until she practically fell into me and I don’t have it in me to wake her up, not when she’s barely slept much since we started all this.” You murmured and rubbed her back slowly.

“I can hear you both talking, stop being so loud.” Ellie grumbled against your shoulder and peeled her eyes open slowly. “Is she gone? Can I get the fuck up now?”

“Were you fakin’ that?” Your hand slapped the back of her head gently; which she laughed at when she sat up completely. “After tonight, you’re getting at least 15 hours sleep.”

“Says you, you haven’t slept in like 10 years.”

“I take naps when needed”

“Not enough, those dark circles under your eyes finally match that bruised nose.”

“Enough with my nose! And the tree!” You warned when Jesse opened his mouth. “Let me live it down for fuck sake.”

“I don’t think I can, the story was hilarious,” The brunette smirked, hands running down her face as she yawned into the palm of her hand. “So, did she start freaking out when Jesse said you tried to kill someone?” 

“Not like we hoped.” 

Once the clock hit 11pm, Ellie was the first to notice Mandy slipping out of the doors, with a few of her friends following closely behind. “She’s leaving, let’s go.”

“Go where?”

“Following her. She wrote the note, she doesn’t fuckin’ read books, she can’t even read the fact you aren’t interested in her, and she’s obsessed with you for a reason none of us know. She knows something, if you don’t want to follow her, I’ll go alone.” Ellie rambled on and she jumped to her feet. 

“Like fuck you’re going alone. Jesse open your mouth about a certain something, I will hit you.” You warned again, looking at him with a harsh glare. “Not a single word about it ever again, you guys got it?”

“I was just going to say that Abby owes you two kisses for the black eye you got.” He smiled innocently. “Risked your whole face for her. Props to you.”

“Can we talk about you and Abby flirting after?”

“Right, let’s go then.”

You kept your distance, not wanting to give anything away. A part of you did feel slightly uncomfortable with the fact you were literally following someone, but the other part of your brain was screaming at you. She knows what happened to Abby. She knows something. It wasn’t like you could ignore that gnawing feeling in your mind. “What are we going to do if we find something?” Ellie asked, huddling close to you.

“I guess we’ll cross that bridge when we get to it?” You murmured with each cautious step. “If she’s as crazy as that note proves then we can’t just throw ourselves at her and attack her.”

Hiding behind the tree when she suddenly drops her purse, Ellie grabs onto the back of your shirt tightly as you all watch Mandy scrambling to pick it up and stumbling her way up the path towards her house; almost tripping over in the process and if it wasn’t for the fact your hand quickly came up and cupped Ellie’s mouth, the laugh she let out would have gotten you all caught. “Shut the fuck up.” You warned.

“Yes, Boss.”

“Ellie’s gonna be the reason we all die.” Jesse grumbled, sneakily running over towards the other tree that was closer to her house. “I think she’s gone in the house now, you can move.” He waved you over, still looking at the window.

“Don’t laugh, or you’ll get us caught.”

“God, I won’t laugh again unless she falls out of the fuckin’ door.” Ellie grumbled from behind you, still using your body as a shield. “Or hits a tree—”

“Ellie, I will tie you to a tree and leave you out here. I said don’t bring it up.” 

“C’mon, you and that tree have a pure love relationship now.”

“M’gonna tell Joel about what you did with that girl behind his house if you don’t shut your mouth right now.” You warned, turning to look at her.

“You wouldn’t.”

“I would, now shut the hell up.”

Stalking up the steps quietly, you keep your hold on Ellie tight when she stumbles up one of the steps and Jesse was the one who had to place his hand over her mouth this time when she went to yelp. “Do not get us caught, Ellie, I’ll never forgive you.”

From here, you could see Mandy in the kitchen, filling her glass up with whatever she chose to drink tonight, taking a sip as she leant against the counter and her shoulders sagged. That sudden loud banging had you all flinching in your spots and Mandy straightened herself up. “Quit it! You do that all the fuckin time, it’s driving me nuts!” 

“She’s already nuts,” Ellie’s voice muffled behind Jesse’s hand. 

“Should have killed you when I had the damn chance, but no! Everyone gives too much of a shit about you!”

Carefully, without dropping Ellie or causing Jesse to fall over, your hand lightly grips onto the door handle, squeezing your eyes shut tightly as you turn it just enough to hear a soft click. “Let’s go.” You whispered, removing your hold reluctantly and stood up.

Pushing the door open wildly, Mandy stumbled back, almost falling over the table when You, Ellie and Jesse stormed in through her front door. “Y/N?”

“Where the fuck is she!?” You’re suddenly in her face in a flash and fists balled up by your sides. 

“What happened to not throwing ourselves at her and attacking her?” Ellie grumbled quietly from beside Jesse under her breath. 

“I don’t— I don’t know what you’re talking about,” Mandy stammered, eyes wide and glossy.

“Oh, you don’t?” You laughed sarcastically and shook your head. “You know exactly what m’fucking talking about.” 

“I really don’t—”

“You can drop the innocent act, you insane little bitch.” Ellie seethed from beside you.

“Y/N, I really don’t know what you’re talking about.” Mandy sobbed, backed into a corner and not knowing an escape route.

Her breath hitched and she gasped when you’re suddenly gripping her face between your hands tightly; looking down at her angrily. Angrier than she’s ever seen before. “No? Then fuck what fuck is this?” 

The sheet of paper hits her square in the chest, and Mandy scrambles to catch it, her shaky hands fumble to open it, and as her eyes catch onto what’s on the page, you finally see the way her jaw clenches and her face relaxes. “She never deserved you,” She scoffed, finally letting her guard down. “That stupid little bitch deserved everything that happened.”

“The fuck did you say?” 

“She had it coming. If she didn’t keep taking you away from me, telling you to ignore me, blowing off our dates—”

“We went on one date!” 

“A date she kept telling you to miss, always listening to her, doing what she tells you, with her out of the way I could have you to myself.” She grinned.

Leaning closer to her, you laughed in her face. “You still have nothing,” You murmured with a grimace. “This makes me hate you more.” 

“No you don’t, you don’t hate me.” Mandy shook her head and plastered on a smile. “No,”

“Are you fucking stupid?” Ellie blinked, eyes going between you and then Mandy. “You’re fucking crazy, obsessive, who would love that?”

“Dina loved you, didn’t she, Ellie, takes one obsessive bitch to know another?”

“Hey,” Jesse warned, stepping in front of Ellie. “Keep her name out of your mouth.” 

“Ah yes, Jesse, the other one. How does it feel knowing she loved you both yet still broke up with you when she had her fill?” 

“Shut the fuck up,” 

“Where is Abby?” You glared and gripped her face harder. “Tell me where she is!” 

“She’s gone! She was never here, I took care of her for us!” 

“There is no us!” 

The fact she’s not getting it makes you more angry, angrier than when you found out Abby went missing. “But, I did this for you? Why can’t you see that? Why can’t you see I do everything for you?”

“I didn’t ask you to take my best friend away from me! I’m asking you to give her back to me!”

“She’s not here! Why would she be here?!”

“Do not let her move,” You told them as you slowly took a couple of steps away from her. “If either of you let her walk out that damn door, m’shooting you both.” With the stare you were giving them, they both knew you weren’t kidding. You were scary when you were angry, that’s not a secret. 

Wandering into the living room, the same one you ate fucking dinner in, you halted in your steps with your arms folded over your chest. You weren’t sure what you were looking for, but as you glanced around the room, you couldn’t exactly find anything out of the ordinary, or even remotely suspicious. Maybe you had gotten it wrong? You were so sleep deprived that anyone could have written the note, Mandy can’t be the only one to write hearts next to her name, right?

You were about to give up on this crazy plan; the crazy plan of yelling and screaming at Mandy until she told you what you wanted to hear, when the faintest scraping sound had caught your attention. It wasn’t loud, but it was loud enough that you could hear it from where you were standing. Your eyebrows furrow and your body turns just slightly, head pointing in the direction of the cabinet opposite the bookshelf. “What’s that noise?” You asked to no one in particular.

“What noise?” Ellie quipped, cautiously keeping her eyes on Mandy, who was still slumped against the counter, and occasionally over to you where you stood. “I don’t hear anything—”

There it was again, the slight scraping sound, but only this time it’s a little louder. 

Before you could take another step towards the cabinet, Mandy was suddenly moving around and pushing herself in front of you, but you weren’t focused on her face, no, you were more focused on the gun pointed at your fuckin’ face. “I can’t let you go through there,” She chuckled and rolled her eyes. “If you just stopped looking, stopped asking people, begging people for help, then this wouldn’t be happening. I did this for us, for you, why can’t you see that?” 

“You took her from me, from us, why would I love you for that?” You scoffed, stepped a little closer. “If you’re gonna shoot me because I want to find her, then don’t be a goddamn pussy and shoot me.” 

“S…Shoot you?” Mandy stammered, quickly shaking her head. “No! No, I don’t want to shoot you, I love you!” 

“Y/N,” Ellie warned, trying to figure out a way to help you, get you away from her. “Y/N.”

“Let me have her, that’s all I want, please just— I need Abby, please” You begged, eyes fluttering closed as you felt the cool metal on your skin. “I just want my Abby back.” 

“There’s no Abby left to bring back.”

“I really hate when people lie to me,” You whispered so quietly that she almost didn’t catch it. “Liars are one of the worst things in the world, stop trying to piss me off even more.”

You’re not sure what happens, one second you’re all standing there, and the next Ellie’s jumping at her, putting herself on the line to simply help you. “Ellie!” You growled, watching her practically pushing Mandy onto the floor, the gun still safely in her hands.

“Now is really not the time to question what m’doing. Go get her!”

Quickly, you manage to rush around the commotion, and slip back into the kitchen; keys, surely she keeps keys around here somewhere right? The kitchen is cold, plates in the sink that haven’t been touched in weeks, and your mind starts to wonder again as you look around. Could Abby really be here? Locked away without any sunlight? What if she was here but it’s too late?

Pulling open one of the drawers, you let out a sigh of relief once you spot a set of keys, way too many now that you look at it. Who needs that many if they don’t have secrets they’d rather stay locked away? Snatching them up and slamming the drawer shut again, you stumble your way out of the kitchen.

Jesse’s already pushing the cabinet away, a metal door hiding and tucked away perfectly behind it, when you also happen to glance over to see Ellie was standing over Mandy as you walked back into the living room, the gun now in her hands. “Go, I can look after Ellie, make sure nothing happens.” He groaned, slumping against the wooden cabinet. 

“Are you sure?”

“Yes, go!”

With trembling hands, one by one, you slot the keys into the lock; cursing and muttering under your breath when certain ones don’t unlock it. By the 7th key, the lock falls and you suck in a deep breath. Anything could be waiting for you on the other side of that door. Your life is already on the line, what’s one more to the list? So with a final sigh, and groan, you pull down the handle and pull the door open. The loud screeching of metal rings through your ears and sends a shiver down your spine.

The coldness washes over you quickly as you look down at the steps leaning into the basement once the doors open. You glance over at Ellie, Mandy’s still kicking at her legs, trying to get up and you send your friend a reassuring smile before making your way down into the dark and eerie room.

There’s no windows, you notice that quite quickly first, they’re all boarded up. No one would hear you if this entire plan goes to shit, Mandy somehow locking you up in here. Not a single living soul outside of this house would be able to hear your screams and cries for help. Not even the animals or insects living right beside it.

Tucking the keys in your back pocket, you step off the last step and release yet another sigh. It’s colder down here than it was opening the door, you think to yourself. To your left there’s a table with an endless supply of books, weird. Moving towards them with caution, you’re quick to pick up on all the torn up papers, the pens scattered along it. Picking up one of the notes, you’re in no luck when you find there’s nothing on there, yet another mystery in your endless supply of wonder. 

To your right there’s another small room. You look at it for longer than you like, wondering who would need two rooms in one, until the gentle scraping catches your attention again as you went to turn around. It sounded like chalk on a chalk board, that’s the best way you could describe such a sound, maybe it wasn’t exactly lose to what you can imagine, but it’s the best you got. 

As you got closer, you noticed the smaller padlock on the door, keeping whatever’s hidden, hidden.

Pulling the keys out of your pocket, you’re shaking even more when you look through them to find a key much smaller than the other ones, one that’s dainty and could hide anywhere if it tried harder enough. 

The lock drops and you start to notice your hands haven’t stopped shaking, but now it’s starting to get uncomfortable, and uncontrollable for you to deal with. Sliding the lock, you press your forehead against the door and take a deep breath. Was this how it ends? Was this going to lead you into yet another deadend? Was Abby really gone and you were going to be stuck down here with some crazy psycho? 

“Let go of me!” You heard Mandy scream from above you. Ellie’s words being screamed angrily right back at her.

With a final sigh, you pull the handle down and pull the door open.

If Abby’s not here, and this is just me falling into a trap, let everyone know I tried.

It’s dark. You can’t see anything. Turning your head, you notice a small light switch just beside the door, covered in mould and dirt, probably not the best idea to put your hands all in it, but you do it. You flick the switch and the light loominates the room and that’s when you notice it. You finally see it. 

The figure curled up in the corner of the room, holding themselves until whatever nightmare they’re able to get out of. Taking a singular step into the room, you crouch slowly, ignoring the throbbing pain in your hand as you reach it out and gently touch their shoulder. “M’not gonna hurt you,” You reassured just before they flinch at your touch with a pained whimper head whipping around and tired blue eyes meet yours.

The sight causes your breath to hitch and heart to thump loudly in your chest.

“Abby?”

Jerry, who was smiling and cooking something for dinner as the music on the radio played quietly, almost fell to his knees the second the door opened to reveal you, Ellie, Jesse and Abby. 

“My girl?” He whispered, not wanting to be loud to the point it might scare her. “Abby,” He breathed out when blue eyes met him. “Oh, baby.” 

Guiding her towards the table carefully, you gently helped her sit down, but not before her hand tightens around your arm when you went to walk away. “M’just gonna run you a bath, you’re cold and you need to be warm, I’ll be right back, okay?”

Abby simply nodded slowly. Almost like she wasn’t even there. 

“Honey, I can make you something else to eat? You don’t have to eat this but,” Jerry trailed off, watching the way Abby’s simply still looking in the spot you once were, yearning for you to come back already. “At least drink something for me?” He frowned, pulling his hand back quickly at the sight of Abby flinching and pulling her hand away when his goes to touch hers. “I won’t hurt you, baby girl. I’d never hurt you.”

You come back no later than 15 minutes. To her that’s still too long.

Abby didn’t move an inch or speak once the entire time you left to run her a bath. She was still sitting silently on the chair, not touching the food her Dad had plated for her, and left the glass of water in Its original spot. “Abby?” 

Her head turned slightly, the most movement she’s done since she got home, and looked right at you. Her eyes looked dull, emotionless but stood up slowly when you held your hand out for her. Taking your hand, Abby doesn’t look back or spare a glance to anyone in the room as she leaves. It’s quiet, too quiet but no on can blame her, she’s been in a room for god knows how long, they understand that this is going to take some time to adjust.

By the time you made it into her bedroom, you’re quick to scoop up the fresh clothes in your free hand, the other still holding onto hers tightly as you guide her into the bathroom. The same bathroom that there’s a warm bath ready for her.

Placing the clean folded clothes on the toilet, you looked over at Abby, who still has yet to talk, was facing away from you, looking at the water. “There’s clean clothes here, if you need anything else, don’t hesitate to ask, okay?” You smiled. “I’ll give you some privacy, I’ll just be in your room— Abby?” Her hand reaches out for yours, grabbing you tightly and keeping you there when you turn around to leave. “Hey,”

“S..Stay,” Her voice cracked, but kept her grip firm. “S..Stay, please?” 

“Okay, of course, m’not going anywhere,” You promised and cautiously stepped closer to her. “Let’s take this off, yeah? You’re probably not warm enough.” As you went to unzip the hoodie she was wearing, her hand stopped you again. “Sorry, habit,”

“It’s n..not the same,” A sob slipped out and she shook her head. “Not the same,”

“What’s not the same?”

“If I take it off, you’re g..going to find it disgusting,”

“I could never think that of you, Abs”

After a few minutes, Abby nodded reluctantly and let you unzip the jacket fully. It only took a few seconds for you to stop in your tracks and understand what she meant once the jacket was off and she was once again facing away from you. “Abby,” You gasped.

You remember the times you would spend laying on her bed, with her snuggled in your chest, and threading your fingers through her hair, braiding it, playing with you. It was all gone in an instant. Gone just like she had once been. This Abby was left fragile, so thin, pale and terrified. “I..I’m disgusting,” 

Walking around her until you were face to face, you held back a frown and gently cupped her face between your hands, your heart shattering into pieces at her flinch. “Won’t hurt you,” You whispered, wiped away the tears that fell and kissed her cheek. “You’re here with me, you’re safe, and I’ll never hurt you,” Slowly, you brushed your finger across her cheek, and smiled when she carefully leaned into your touch. “You’re beautiful, you’ve always been beautiful.” 

Abby doesn’t believe you, you can tell by the way she shakes her head, cries harder and holds onto your arms tightly. “M’scared, m’so scared.”

“I know, Love, I know, but I won’t let anyone hurt you again, I promise, I promise I won’t.” 

By the time Abby managed to get into the bath, with the help from you, she cried at every touch, rubbing her eyes harshly each time you rubbed the shampoo into her hair, mumbled about being sorry that she couldn’t stop squirming and with every reassurance from you that it was okay, it made her chest heave and cries louder. You didn’t ask her what happened, you know that when she was ready to talk about it, you would be there to listen. Guide and help her when needed.

Rinsing the final suds of shampoo from her hair, or what Mandy left of it, you smiled softly when her eyes fluttered open and found you. “Hi,” You pressed your forehead against hers and brushed your thumb over the side of her neck slowly. “You’re getting warmer.” You murmured. “We’re almost done.”

“Promise?”

“I promise, Love.”

Abby was clad in some of your old clothes, curled up in your side on her bed 15 minutes later. Her hand gripped the back of your jumper tightly, face buried deeply in your chest as you drew random patterns along her skin beneath your clothes. “M’glad you’re here,” You whispered against her forehead. “I never stopped looking for you, I hope you know that. You can tell me what happened when you’re ready, m’never gonna rush you to talk about it, but know that we’re here for you, and we just want to keep you safe. We’re ready to talk when you’re ready.”

All Abby could do was nod.

The door squeaked and opened to reveal Ellie, clothes dirty and hair slightly ruffled, as she stepped into the room with a fresh plate of food in one hand, and a drink in the other. “Hey, Abs.” She smiled, placing both on the nightstand before sliding onto the bed beside her. “I know you might not be hungry but, I brought you some food, Jerry practically rushed me to bring it to you.” 

Abby curled more into you and buried her face in your chest with a smile tugging at her lips. “How is she?”

“What did you do?” You asked, ignoring her question and noticing the red stains on her shirt instead. 

“I took care of it, she won’t hurt Abby or anyone else again.” Ellies eyes didn’t leave Abby as she spoke. “Stop, I took care of it, like we promised. We keep each other safe.” She sighed once she noticed your look. “Abby?”

“Mhm?”

“Can I cuddle you?” 

Turning her head slowly, Abby looks up at Ellie for a couple of seconds before nodding. Lying down on the bed further, the Brunette carefully places her arm over Abby’s waist and cuddles up to her back, while Abby places her head against your chest again. “M’sorry it took so long,” She mumbled into Abby’s back. “M’so sorry.” She kissed her head and held her tighter. 

Leaning your head down, you pressed your lips against Abby’s forehead, stroked her arm comfortingly and smiled when she held onto you a little tighter. “You can sleep now, we’ll always keep you safe, Baby.” 

One secret revealed, another buried and hidden. 

[ryoflix]

dinner dynamics in the sukuna household | f. reader, s/h prns., crack 'n fluff, estb. rl ؛ ଓ

the clink of plates, the gurgle of water boiling, and the smell of exactly three different types of sauces signal dinner time in the sukuna household — a highly organized, high-stakes daily operation spearheaded by one (1) very grumpy, very meticulous man.

“nuggets are done,” he calls, reaching over the stove with practiced ease to flick the flame off one burner while tossing pasta with the other hand. “your spaghetti looks like worms today, just how you like it.”

“with the red sauce that’s not spicy!” your daughter squeals from the dining table, legs swinging under her chair.

“what do you think i am, a rookie?” sukuna grunts, opening the oven to pull out mini garlic bread shaped like... stars. they’re supposed to be stars. they look a little like squished octopuses, but the kids cheer anyway. your son's already clambering up onto his booster chair, fork in hand like a knight wielding a sword. “where’s the dinosaur dessert?”

“freezer.”

“can i have three?”

“you can have one. finish your spaghetti and we’ll negotiate the other two.”

you’re at the counter, pretending to scroll through your phone while secretly admiring the way this hulking man — tattoos on show, hair tied back, apron comically small across his chest — is simultaneously plating spaghetti worms, carrot smiley faces, and cheese-stuffed dino nuggets with more concentration than he ever gave battle.

he doesn’t sit, not yet. not until both twins have been served, their drinks topped off, and their demands for “a little bit more of the good cheesy cheese” addressed. not until you have your bowl in hand, complete with the garlic sauce he knows you've been craving recently. not until the second round of napkins has been passed out, because someone always forgets to wipe their face.

he eats last. always.

and if anyone were to see it — this broad-shouldered beast of a man wiping dino-shaped crumbs off his daughter’s chin and refilling the ketchup with clinical speed — they’d say, isn’t this supposed to be the mom’s job?

but in the sukuna household, tradition is just a word. the pillar of the home is not who holds the spatula last, but who makes sure no one sleeps on an empty stomach. and sukuna makes damn sure of it.

by 8:30, the chaos has shifted upstairs.

you hear him stomping up the steps, one twin under each arm like sacks of rice, both squealing and laughing like they aren’t stuffed to the brim with carbs. he deposits them into their beds dramatically, bouncing the mattress until they scream in glee.

“now,” he says, pointing at them sternly, “story time. and if i hear you say the word ‘snack’ again, i’ll turn your pillows into bricks.”

“what if mommy says snack?” the boy pipes up.

“then i’ll turn into a snack,” you say, entering the room with a smirk.

“grooossss!” they both giggle.

you take your seat on the plush reading chair, storybook in hand. “daddy’s gonna go eat his food now,” you say sweetly.

but then your daughter sits up.

“no,” she says, pout forming. “i want daddy to sit too.”

your son nods, echoing, “yeah! daddy eats with us!”

“you’re not eating,” sukuna reminds them, annoyed but not really.

“then sit anyway.”

and it’s not like his knees don’t ache from earlier. or that his back doesn’t threaten mutiny every time he bends a certain way. but the way they look at him — like their bedtime didn’t count unless he was there too — makes something sharp and gooey twist in his chest.

so he exhales, mutters something about dramatic children, and disappears downstairs.

he comes back with his full plate: half-warm garlic pasta, two lonely nuggets (because the others are now gone), and a side salad he clearly doesn’t want but you made him promise to eat.

and when he sits on the floor, back against the bedframe, plate in his lap, and you begin to read aloud about a prince with an itchy crown and a pet alligator, both kids curl up under their blankets with dreamy smiles.

the girl reaches out and tugs at his sweatpants. just once.

he looks down.

she whispers, “you’re the bestest daddy.”

he grumbles something low and unintelligible, shoving a nugget into his mouth to hide the softening of his jawline. but he stays for all three stories. even the one about the unicorn detective he hates.

because in this house, dinner is served in three acts — and the final act is a man surrounded by warmth, chewing slowly, his family pressed close, storybook light washing over the tattoos on his arms like quiet stardust.

[erensfeed]

winter & christmas moments | hcs

featuring. rafayel, sylus, zayne, xavier & caleb + reader

content. fluff + random things they’d do during xmas/winter as your bf

note. happy holidays !! pls i wrote this to cope with how i feel about them not being under my tree this year and most importantly.. under ME.

i don’t wanna talk ab it.

rafayel.

buys a big cozy house in paris just to spend the holidays together privately with you.

when it would be time to open up your gifts, he would watch your reactions to his christmas presents all through.

i’m talking studying your micro-expressions.

gets you this rare gorgeous heart shaped locket

“i also got a tiiny photo of us in there too. see? that way, when you open and close it… we’re kissing.”

gently takes it from your hand to show you, as he opens and closes it many many times with this excited look across his face.

eyes and plans to burn each and every gift to you by everyone else though. especially the ones by thomas.

and does.

because he felt your reaction to thomas’ gift was way better than his

when you’d eventually find out (again)…

“hey what don’t take his side, it’s his fault for getting you flammable gifts in the first place”

you’d make him promise to gift him back money in return and he would be all grumpy pouty about it but still does so

ends up re-buying you all the gifts he burnt, so it feels like they're all from him and were all his idea first.

anyway, you’d spend christmas indoors this year because your company is all he needs and by the fireplace, you would share your warmth with him in more ways than one..

sylus.

flies you out to your favorite snowy country, where you’d come to find out that he secretly bought a house near its snowy mountains just for you.

decorates your huge christmas tree with you and carries you (and uses his evol to), to help you place an angel on top of it.

“cute.”

“ikr omg” you’d say

he was talking about you

you’d think you would’ve at least seen/guessed all the unwrapped gifts he got you under the tree 

no

here comes more ON christmas day AND the day after. and the week. and the month

up until new years. and valentines. and—

would gift you all you talked ab like once. specially gets you stunning (garnet) jewelries and more in your favorite gemstones

you’d somehow convince him to wear this big floofy matching christmas polar bear onesie with you btw

tells you he ‘doesn’t do cheesy’

matches with you anyway

tucked diamond earrings in the pocket of your onesie just to see your reaction when you find it.

surprises you with a private winter concert performed by a band

you’d try to pull him to dance with you in the snow and he would purposely stay rooted in his spot at first, just to see you struggle to pull him with all your might before he complies with a chuckle.

yes you'd both be wearing your onesies as he dances sweetly with you.

knows how much you LOVE the holidays so he makes it worth remembering

yeah you take that as you will too

zayne.

wakes up earlier than you to quietly add more decorations to the entire apartment by himself while you’re asleep, so that you wake up to fairy lights and your favorite seasonal flower

“omg zayne, you… you did all this? for me?”

“yes.”

LMAOO SORRY ITS SO FUNNY FOR NO REASON WHENEVER I REMEMBER THAT HE

ok

says yes as he comes up to you to kiss your forehead

“merry christmas:)”

keeps a detailed list of your favorite winter activities to do in his pocket

and lots of candy canes & peppermint candies too when you go out together

would take you to a private snow resort and he’d try to teach you how to snowboard

looks even hotter on a snowboard

hot when on a snowboard

hot

when on

a snowboard

makes you hot chocolate drinks with smiley faces marshmallows as you watch your favorite christmas movies.

xavier.

admires you as you bake cookies until you ask him to try making a batch after watching you. 

he successfully does… until he adds an excessive amount of much sugar

gives you the exact same look he does when he loses a plushie LMFAOOO

“… i think i added a little too much.”

is a pro at building gingerbread houses

eats all the gingerbread men

“idk what happened.. i tried to save them but a christmas ghost ate them all before i could”

adorable thoughtful gift giver

stared jeremiah DOWN when he handed you his own gift and flowers

felt the need to tell you he gave jeremiah the idea to gift you those.

THAT BOY IS LYINGG

gives you a very festive night that same day (week)

whispers soft promises of forever while the snowflakes fall

possessive freaky xavier yum

#needthat

caleb.

wears a santa hat as he’s wrapping gifts for everyone you both know

“caleb what are you doing to that poor wrapping paper” you’d ask

“hey what i thought it looked good :(”

“it doesn’t”

ok it does if you squint hard enough

(if you close your eyes)

gets you matching gorgeous ugly christmas sweaters for when you go out together in it.

“we’re not wearing that”

you wear it.

helps the elderly you come across cross the street and wishes them merry christmas / happy holidays

purposefully steps under every mistletoe to get a kiss from you

“coome on pipsqueak ;) bring it in”

takes you ice skating

loves when you cling onto him so you don’t fall.

kisses all over your face to make you laugh after a deep sad/meaningful convo ab life after talking about nothing and everything under the stars while sharing a big scarf together

[eunandonly]

୨୧ — ANALYSING: ATTRACTION !

୨୧ ; everyone knows lee heeseung- he's the super cute psychology major! how did you find yourself holding hands with him? pairing! psychologymajor!heeseung x psychologymajor!reader | wc. 0.8k | warnings: failed attempt at humour, probably cringe EN-

🖇 : this will be a full series for all enhypen members!

everyone has noticed lee heeseung in the psychology lecture hall, even you.

he's always sitting at the middle of the hall, furiously taking notes

this man explains freud's theories in a way that makes the professor pause and ask for his name

he's such a dork omg you sometimes see him doodling little brain diagrams on the margin of his notebooks with little text bubbles and smiley faces — more under cut!

you can't help but sneak glances at him like HE'S SO HOT

who wouldn't want to stare at lee heeseung rather than the mid fifties dude who can't seem to stfu

ok well heeseung's been eyeing you too because well DAMN you're face card is crazyyyy

and you're also really smart ACADEMIC WEAPON

so one day you two got grouped together for some kind of psychology project and you're just trying your best not to freak out

you've liked this guy since your freshman year of uni ever since you saw him at that shitty university party wdym you got paired up with him

luck is on your side this term (or is it fate?)

heeseung is so shy you're just too pretty for him to handle but he's still the first one to initiate conversation between you two

just walks up to you with his little notebook and pen in the lecture hall "so what are your ideas for the project?"

you don't even reply you just spend a moment or two taking in the godly sight in front of you and he just stands there like 🧍

it's so awkward for a moment but you finally start talking after blessing your eyes with lee heeseung's face

you two hit it off on the spot (you two are both nerds- cute nerds, mind you.)

you two spend a whole hour just discussing interesting psychology experiments before deciding you guys have to focus

“we really need to lock in."

"yeah we really should."

you guys move on from the stanford prison experiment to cognitive neuroscience

tbh you're really impressed with the amount of knowledge heeseung has on psychology

i mean sure it's his major but statistics show that over 54% of university students aren't happy with the classes they take

not heeseung he loves his little psychology life especially now that you're his project partner

this man is in the clouds he feels like he can fly

he keeps complimenting your psychology knowledge and you just brush him off

because heeseung's the one who just explained the flipping hippocampus like it's a ted talk.

poor boy is trying so hard to focus but he's kind of distracted bc he's busy stealing glances at you

he keeps stuttering whenever you ask him something

“oh, umm"

it's kind of giving loser but he's a cute loser ykyk

you pretend not to notice how he trips over his words and goes red in the face to protect his dignity and pride but you're dying inside as well

lee heeseung. stuttering over you.

SKJFGJDKK

you and heeseung meet up everyday to do your project together

most of the time you guys meet at the library or a cafe but sometimes he invites you to his dorm

i imagine his dorm to be like his room in enhypen's dorm

like it's spacious and clean and all that

but boy why's there a huge gaping empty space in the middle of the room

well that gaping empty space is useful to spread out the 2838484 notes heeseung has written on neuroscience

you two always seem to reach for the same paper at the same moment HMMMMM

everytime you touch in anyway you feel like you're about to pass out like OH LEE HEESEUNG'S FINGER JUST BRUSHED AGAINST YOURS

heeseung gets sooo flustered he feels the same way about you

he's so busy staring at you when you're not looking bc you're js so goddamn perfect

after the group project you and heeseung submit the most scrumptious project ever

you both get straight As the thesis you guys wrote together was so sexylicious oml

you're kind of sad when the project is all over bc what if you and heeseung go back to not speaking and just acknowledging e/o's presence with a smile and a nod.

well you have nothing to worry about because he confesses after a week of 'accidental touches' and stolen glances

this guy, he gives you a little peck on the cheek and both of yall blushing like crazyy

heeseung definetly blurts out random psychology facts about love bc he's a little geek

he says psychology pick up lines as well

"are you a serotonin boost? because just being around you brightens my mood" bitch what.

✉️: @icyy-hoon taglist is open!

[azzifuddslover]

UNRAVEL - chapter seven

യ paige bueckers x azzi fudd

word count: 6.6k

cw: swearing, alcohol use, injury

notes: hey guys! i had fun writing this chapter, my heart was exploding with cuteness. but i fear unravel is nearing the end.. as in one more chapter left. spring break just began for me, so chapter eight should be expected somewhat soon. please lemme know how y’all enjoy this one, live reactions and any comments are always appreciated! have a wonderful day and enjoy the draft on monday. i know i’ll be SAT even tho i’m still sad it’s dallas.. like are we serious. anyway, happy reading!

two weeks. ever since that night at ted’s, paige hasn’t talked to azzi in two weeks. no texting back and forth, no mindless conversations talking about nothing and everything, no sending stupidly funny tiktoks at ungodly hours of night. nothing. azzi was going insane, to say the least.

paige, however, seemed perfectly fine with their lack of communication. she laughed with their teammates, she had loud talks with nika from across the gym. she was her normal, smiley, overenthusiastic self.

that’s only what azzi assumed, of course. paige— on the inside, during her alone time— was driving herself mental. she couldn’t help but replay that night over and over again. the way azzi laughed with tyler, his grip on her arm that she allowed to happen. her tight hug that made paige forget it all.

technically, azzi hasn’t reached out to paige either. paige waited— waited for azzi to text, call, show any signs that she cared. but she hasn’t, so neither did paige.

(that’s what she told herself, at least. she absolutely did— too much, even. she cared for azzi more than anyone she’s ever known. it was downright foolish to think otherwise.)

the two didn’t even talk during practices. they wouldn’t cheer each other on whenever the other made a nice play, they wouldn’t tell each other what to do in a drill, either. it’s as if they’d become strangers on the court— and it was painfully obvious for the other girls. they noticed their undoubtable shift, their awkward tension. their lack of shared, soft smiles, their uncontrollable giggles, their back and forth glances at the other. the team figured they had to do something to resolve whatever was going on between the two.

that’s why they’re here, in nika and aubrey’s shared dorm, all lounging around. there was music playing in the background— a song from sza’s newest album. the group was scattered around the room, some resting on the couch, others on the two beds or the floor. nika’s sitting cross legged against her bed, aubrey’s sprawled out on her own bed, paige is sitting on the couch besides ice, mindlessly scrolling on her phone. azzi’s on the other side of ice, talking lowly with caroline.

paige is painfully aware of azzi’s presence, mere inches away from her. it’s when the freshman laughs that paige clears her throat.

“nik, got anything to drink in here?”

azzi’s giggle simmers down as she turns her head towards the blonde, eyeing her shyly. paige feels her gaze, yet her attention remains on nika.

nika, not bothering to look up from her phone, “yeah, in the cabinet under the sink.”

paige stands, making her way to the small kitchen. she closes her eyes for a moment, trying to ignore all things azzi. but god, did she miss her. regardless of everything that’s happened— their unspoken kisses, that one night, the entirety of azzi’s date with tyler— they were still best friends. nothing could come between that. their natural bond, the way they fit into each others worlds; it was funny to think that would all go away just because of a stupid fight, a miscommunication.

paige leans against the counter, her fingers curling around the vodka bottle. the sound of the clear liquid pouring into a plastic cup fills her ears. she doesn’t hesitate to take a long swig, feeling the burn all the way down her throat.

“everything okay, p?”

paige’s movements never falter as she turns, facing a very concerned looking aubrey. her eyebrows are pinched, her arms are crossed over her chest. the blonde woman offers a warm smile, her grip still tight around the cup.

“all good. thanks, aub,” paige says, before walking towards her original spot on the couch.

she can feel azzi staring, but never looks up to meet her eyes. she can’t. not tonight.

the team continues on with small conversations that end in loud, passionate outbursts— like usual. but paige can’t seem to join in. instead she remains seated, quiet but her presence is known, keeping her gaze down casted on her phone. she scrolls through instagram only to be reminded of azzi’s outstanding performance against georgetown— a career high of 34 points, along with 6 assists and 5 rebounds. ignoring her annoyingly heavy heart, she likes the espn post, not thinking twice about it.

she wishes so badly that her and azzi could’ve been on good terms that day. she would’ve made sure to show azzi how good she was, how well she played. in more ways than one. she would’ve hyped her up in front of the cameras, praised her during media. but in the space that only they shared, the sophomore would’ve held her hand, squeezed three times. hugged her gently, nuzzling her head in the crook of azzi’s neck. would’ve peppered soft, warm kisses on her face, how she knows azzi likes it. paige would’ve whispered a string of words like i’m so proud of you and you’re unbelievable over and over until azzi got sick of it.

(azzi could never get sick of it, though. hearing those words from paige meant everything to her. more than she’s willing to admit.)

“i’m bored. do you guys wanna play never have i ever?”

aaliyah’s voice breaks paige’s trance. she blinks. before she knows it, everyone in the small space is crammed closer, getting ready to play.

paige, mentally preparing herself, takes a sip of her drink, her eyes fluttering shut for a swift moment. she’s one person away from azzi yet the tension is thick between them.

nika, holding three shot glasses in both hands, sets one down in front of each girl. she quickly pours the vodka in the small cups, watching the liquid fill until it reaches the rim.

azzi shifts besides caroline, very aware of paige on the other side of her friend. she’s not completely sure she wants to play tonight, but what else does she have to do?

she bites her lip, anxious to get started. nika clears her throat before saying, “never have i ever pretended to be sick to get out of running.”

chuckles erupt among the group, knowing exactly who’s that targeted to. aubrey lets out a defeated sigh before raising the glass to her lips.

“i knew it,” nika mutters, shaking her head with a smile on her face.

“okay, i’ll go,” evina offers, “never have i ever been in a relationship.”

everyone other than paige, azzi, and dorka takes a shot. paige rolls her eyes, annoyed.

“what about that one guy, az?” olivia asks after finishing her drink and shaking off the burn in her throat.

azzi blushes slightly, feeling embarrassed at the brief attention. “we never dated.”

“it’s fairly new, right?” evina chimes in, leaning forward.

azzi shrugs her shoulders, “i mean, i guess. i don’t know.” she brushes it off, trying to shift the conversation, knowing paige is right there.

evina, clearly picking up on azzi’s discomfort, nods her head, thankfully dismissing the topic.

amari’s the next to speak. “never have i ever kissed someone in this room.”

nika giggles, lifting her shot to her mouth. she wiggles her eyebrows at aaliyah, who matches her movement. paige is hesitant to grab the glass, yet she does when she notices azzi reaching for her’s as well. paige downs the shot with a quick gulp, feeling the sting sliding down her throat. her gaze flickers to the brunette, who, despite trying to act casual, avoids eye contact, her cheeks tinged pink.

amari, obviously unaware of paige and azzi’s shared history, raises an eyebrow. “wow, who knew this game would be so… informative.”

paige bites her tongue. she looks down, eyes trained on fingernails instead of engaging in amari’s entertainment.

amari, however, continues. “never have i ever kissed someone in the past,” a pause, thinking, “week.”

nika is quick to fill her glass and bring it to her lips, tilting her head back. aubrey— who is a known taken woman— follows the movement, along with evina. azzi freezes. squeezes her eyes shut. her face heats instantly. damn, she cannot lie to save her life.

she slowly pours the vodka into the empty shot glass before shallowing it.

paige watches her, her lips slightly ajar. the blonde stares closely, her gaze sharp. she shallows dryly, trying to ignore the pang of pain in her chest. the two haven’t spoken, much less kissed in over two weeks. meaning, azzi must’ve kissed tyler. tyler. fuck.

the silence that follows feels heavier than it should. azzi’s makes it a point to not glance in paige’s direction, not wanting to see the look on her face. she focuses her gaze on the now empty glass, her mind running loose.

paige, without a thought in her brain other than azzi kissed tyler, grabs the half full vodka bottle and pours herself yet another shot. eyes wide, mouth in a tight line, she speaks up— “never have i ever fucked my best friend then went on a date with someone else the next day.”

the blonde scrunches her lips together, nodding her head as she looks directly at azzi. azzi, who is frozen in place, eyes wide and jaw dropped at paige’s comment. everyone else in the room grows quiet— too quiet— watching the scene in front of them unfold. they share glances with each other, all with similar expressions on their faces.

paige, hurt evident in her eyes, stares dead at the freshman. azzi manages to meet her gaze, her face on fire. the blonde woman tilts her head, “why aren’t you drinking az?” she slides the shot glass in front of her over to azzi, who glances down at it briefly. “you did that, didn’t you?”

paige swears she hears an “oh shiiiittt” murmured among her teammates. some have their hand over their mouths in shock, others have their attention directed anywhere else besides the two girls, in attempts to avoid any awkwardness. a little too late for that.

azzi doesn’t dare to move an inch. she can’t. she can only hopelessly stare down, breaking eye contact with the sophomore. her hands shake slightly, her breathing is uneven. the tension in the room is unbearable— the air feels heavy as everyone waits for any sort of response out of azzi.

paige, her lips still pressed into a tight line, scoffs and stands unexpectedly. “fuck this,” she mumbles under her breath, moving towards the door.

azzi’s heart skips a beat at paige’s words. before she even realizes what she’s doing, she’s following paige, her feet carrying her towards the door with a sense of urgency she can’t ignore. she doesn’t look back at her teammates, who remain silent and in shock.

the door creaks open as paige steps out into the empty hallway. she lets out a soft sigh of relief, happy to get away from whatever she started in there. that relief is very shortly interrupted when she hears the door reopen, revealing— of course— azzi hurrying out of the room. their eyes meet, but not long enough to keep paige rooted in place. she takes off, walking with purpose down the outstretched hall without offering a word to the freshman.

azzi, being azzi, doesn’t hesitate to follow once again. “paige,” she says, her voice weak.

paige, however, does not slow down her pace. she continues walking until she reaches her own room. she pulls out her key, fumbling with it in her fingers— giving azzi enough time to jog up to her, cutting their distance.

“stop, please,” azzi pleads.

paige chooses to ignore her yet again. she finally unlocks the door and steps into her dorm. azzi manages to slide inside, closing the door behind her.

“azzi, please— just go away.”

“no,” azzi states firmly. “not until we talk.”

“i really don’t think there’s anything to talk about,” paige half laughs.

“bullshit,” azzi says. “first of all, what the actual fuck was that?”

paige looks away. “it’s not like it’s a lie.”

“okay, but in front of everyone? are you insane?”

paige actually laughs this time. “am i insane? do you hear yourself?”

azzi goes to speak, but paige cuts her off. “azzi, you literally had sex with me then the very next day, went out with someone else. a dude, to make matters worse. and kissed him, i’m assuming?”

azzi’s nostrils flare. she shuts her eyes, attempting to contain her composure. “jesus, paige, it was one kiss. it didn’t even matter! why do you care this much anyway?”

paige stares at azzi with a look azzi’s never seen before. disgust, perhaps. “why do i care?” she repeats, her words almost feeling like they don’t belong in her mouth. she steps toward the curly brunette, her voice rising ever so slightly. “when have i never not cared? azzi, you’re single handedly the person i care about most. and you left me like it was nothing. like i meant nothing to you. did that night really mean that little to you?”

azzi’s breath catches in her throat, the raw, undoubtable pain in paige’s voice cutting through her like a knife. she opens her mouth, but nothing comes out. she doesn’t quite know what to say, how to fix what she’s broken, because nothing— no words that’s ever been said— seems fitting for this moment.

paige’s blue eyes never leaves hers, dark and heavy with hurt. “do you realize how fucked up that is?” she continues, her voice small. “one day you’re kissing me, and the next you’re all over him, like i don’t even exist. like i’m just some fucking afterthought.”

azzi takes a step back, her heart pounding in her chest, her mind racing. she wants to explain, to apologize, to say something that’ll make this all right, but the words are stuck within her, tangled in knots of confusion and guilt. she opens her lips again, but all she can manage is a shaky exhale.

“i still think about it, az. about that night. about you,” she pauses, taking a steady breath. “it was everything. you’re everything,” another brief pause. paige’s eyes never waver from azzi’s. “i can still smell your vanilla perfume on my sheets. your bra is still somewhere in my room. you’re everywhere, az.”

azzi stills. heat creeps its way up her neck, into her cheeks. she shallows, stepping closer to the blonde.

“i’m sorry,” azzi’s voice breaks, “jesus, paige, i’m so sorry.” she reaches out, holding paige’s face in her soft hands, thumbs swiping across her cheekbones. “i don’t want to hurt you. god, that’s the last thing i’d ever want.”

tears form in paige’s eyes. “please don’t think you don’t matter to me. that you’re nothing. i promise you it’s the complete opposite,” she reassures the blonde. a lone tear falls down paige’s cheek— azzi immediately swipes it away with her finger. “don’t cry, please don’t cry.”

with that, azzi leans forward, planting a tender kiss on paige’s damp cheek. she pulls back only to wrap her arms further around paige’s neck, into a warm embrace. the sophomore hesitantly rests her hands on the small of azzi’s back, holding her close. she nuzzles her face into azzi’s neck while dragging both of their bodies into her bedroom while maintaining their hug.

“you’re the most important person in my life. it’s only ever you. i’m so sorry i made you feel any different,” azzi whispers, her frame still pressed against the older girl’s. she moves her hand up to the back of paige’s head, that’s still nestled in her neck.

when paige sniffles, azzi gently pulls her head back, looking at her face. paige’s cheeks are soaked and tear stained— her eyes are glistening, her bottom lip is trembling as she tries to hold it together. azzi’s heart aches at the sight.

“stop, stop, please,” azzi murmers, her voice shaky. “please don’t cry. you’ll make me cry.”

“can’t help it,” paige mumbles, glancing away for a moment before returning to azzi’s eyes.

a beat passes between the two, blatantly staring at one another. azzi adverts her gaze. “i still think about it too, p. of course i do. how could i not?” she begins, her voice unsure. “it’s always there, even when i don’t want it to be. you are. the way you made me feel…” she pauses, trying to think of the words. “you made me feel seen. like i was more than just… i don’t know, like i wasn’t just— existing. like i was important to someone. like i matter.”

paige stops breathing although. her eyes soften at the vulnerability behind azzi’s words— the raw, real emotion laced between them. “azzi, of course you matter. jesus, you matter more than anyone ever.”

paige— still holding azzi’s waist, her grip never wavering— guides them slowly toward the edge of her bed, settling them both down.

paige’s heart breaks a little when azzi whispers, “please don’t be mad at me.”

the words hit paige like a punch to the chest. she feels something shift inside her— softening, maybe.

she removes her hand from azzi’s waist and grabs her jaw instead, turning her face to look at her. “look at me,” she says, eyes dead set on the brunette’s, “i could never be mad at you, azzi. never.” she smiles weakly when azzi gives her a look. “okay, maybe it seemed like i was mad, but i wasn’t. not really. i just wanted you to…” she pauses, thinking. “see me,” she adds, her voice barely above a whisper.

azzi exhales. paige continues. “i wanted you to understand how much it hurt when you pretended nothing happened between us— when you went off with tyler.” she says his name with a pointed disgust, scoffing.

azzi laughs at this. she leans her head to rest against paige’s shoulder. “i’m sorry about that,” she shakes her head, “that was kinda fucked up.”

“ya think?” the corners of paige’s lips curl into a soft smile.

the two stay in comfortable silence, just existing in each other’s presence. paige’s hand moves to azzi’s hair, playing with some of her loose curls in between her fingers. “you’re such a softie.”

“shut up,” the blonde rolls her eyes. “wanna stay here tonight?”

azzi instantly nods against her, “yes.”

paige’s smile grows, her heart doing flips in her chest. “okay. ima go shower real quick, then.”

“alright,” azzi says, lifting her head off paige and removing her touch.

paige stands and walks over to her small closet, pulling out a set of comfortable clothes before making her way to the bathroom. she can’t help but glance back at azzi, who’s now rummaging through her drawers. she smiles.

her shower is, in fact, quick. she slowly walks out, adjusting her shirt in the process, only to find azzi snuggled up in her bed. her eyes are barely open, but when she notices paige watching her, she grins.

“hi,” she squeals.

paige makes her way to the bed, pulling back the comforter and joining azzi. she catches a glance of azzi’s bare legs— only in a pair of paige’s boxers— and squeezes her eyes shut. “hey.”

the blonde scoots closer and closer, until she’s mere inches away from azzi’s frame. azzi takes it a step further by laying her arm across her chest, hiking her leg up to rest on hers. paige lets out a weak breath. damn, she’s easy.

“can we promise to never ignore each other again?” azzi asks gently, messing with the hem of paige’s loose shirt.

“jesus, yes,” paige whines, “i swear, that was the worst two weeks of my entire life.”

“seriously,” azzi agrees, laughing.

silence stretches between the pair. they lay there, eyes fluttering shut ever so often.

“i think you’re like… a part of me, somehow,” paige says lowly all of a sudden.

azzi’s fingers pause their gentle tracing of paige’s shirt, and lifts her head slightly. “a part of you?”

paige sighs, somehow shifting to be impossibly closer to the younger girl. “yeah. you’re the other half of me,” she adds, finally finding the words. “there is no me without you.”

azzi’s stomach erupts, to say the least. her mouth opens slightly, paige’s words hitting harder than she thought.

(it’s the most accurate thing paige has ever said. paige isn’t paige without azzi. she’s a piece of her, forever. a part of her soul, her heart. it was always paigeandazzi, said in one breath. a package duo, a pair people never saw apart. if there wasn’t azzi, there wasn’t paige. two halves of the same whole.)

“oh my gosh,” she mutters, her cheeks now pink. she hides her face in the crook of paige’s neck— she can feel her warm breath against her skin. “you’re genuinely perfect, you know that?” her gaze flicks to paige’s face, before she dares to press a featherlike kiss to her jaw. “you’re so sweet. seriously. i don’t deserve you.”

paige laughs at azzi’s reaction. she leans her head back against a pillow, failing to wipe the silly smile off her lips.

azzi eventually speaks up again. “i agree, though,” she whispers. “you make me remember who i am, when i’m with you. you make me feel like me.” a pause. paige shallows. “i love it. i love that about you.”

paige is kissing her cheeks before she even realizes it. small, light, tender pecks that convey everything she’s feeling into one movement. “fuck, i’m so glad i have you.” she rests her forehead against azzi’s, definitely not eyeing her lips. obviously. “i wouldn’t have it any other way. all of it… me, you. i wouldn’t change anything.”

(besides the fact she can’t seem to share her feelings for azzi with her. and the fact they pretend nothing happened, when, in reality, everything happened. she’s getting there, though. cut the girl some slack.)

azzi’s smiles— a true, soft smile that only paige gets to see. “me neither,” she mumbles.

“you’re stuck with me— forever. i don’t care if you like it or not.”

a breathless laugh escapes azzi’s lips. her grin widens. “thank god.”

after that night, things were different. an unmistakable shift between the two. everyone saw it— their teammates, their coaches, people around campus. it was obvious, really. their lingering touches became more intentional, more charged with meaning. it’s as if they weren’t scared anymore, yet haven’t fully acknowledged the spark between them. but it’s there. of course it’s there. it always has been— and they both knew it.

hang outs have become more and more frequent, with azzi staying with paige more nights than not. she even has her own mini drawer for clothes in paige’s dorm that was never there before. they’re always together, and if they weren’t, they were likely texting back and forth. it was constant, automatic.

azzi had stopped talking to tyler. it wasn’t that he was a bad guy— far from it. tyler was sweet, kind hearted, always looking out for the people around him. truly, he was a good person. it’s just that somewhere along the way, the space between her and tyler shifted, too. she didn’t do it intentionally, but the more time she spent with paige, the more the dynamic with tyler felt off. so she let their conversations grow distant, drifting farther and farther until they stopped texting altogether.

tyler deserved someone who saw him in the way he saw the world— bright, sincere, full of hope. azzi knew she couldn’t offer that to him. not when there was her.

how could she focus on anyone else when paige was right there?

and paige, of course, was always there— always has been, in a way that felt different from anyone else. her best friend. someone she’d always have in her corner. her lifeline. her reason to get up in the morning. her person.

so, it was, in fact, impossible to even see another person with paige in her life. she didn’t want to anymore. this was it. paige was it for her— and she finally started to accept it. because it was simply how it is. how it was supposed to goes. paige was hers, she was paige’s.

another three weeks pass— it’s early january at this point. paige and azzi have grown impossibly closer. they’ve spent every waking minute of every day together, barely ever separating for more than an hour. people would never see one girl without the other; it was either both of them, or no one.

the pair spent the holidays together, with each others families. they first traveled to minnesota, spent christmas celebrating with paige’s family. they then went to virginia for new years, hanging out with the fudd’s for a couple of days. it was nothing new— they spent the previous holidays together, so it was expected at this point. this time around, however, was different.

there were moments, small ones, when azzi would catch herself watching paige more closely than usual. a glance, a smile, the way paige’s eyes lit up when she laughed— it was all so much more than before. paige, obviously, noticed their shift in dynamic too. how could she not? everyone did.

they shared a new years kiss. the second it hit midnight, paige’s lips were on azzi’s, firm and sweet and warm. it never went further than that— not since last time. but god, did they think about it.

(it was physically impossible not to think about it. not when azzi was alive and living, with her full lips, her toned legs, her beautiful dark curls, her fucking everything. paige was dying by this point. it was sort of pathetic.)

paige even thought about it— about her— right in the middle of a game. she should be focused on being the best player she can be, but how could she when azzi was in front of her, practically glowing from beads of sweat dripping down her face and looking slightly disheveled? simple answer: she can’t.

she shakes her head. get your head out of your ass and into the game, she repeated over and over in her mind, trying to advert her thoughts to anything but azzi. talk about difficult.

the ball is thrown in her hands. she begins dribbling up the court, exhaling quietly as she lets her mind clear. she tosses it off to nika as aaliyah sets a screen for paige. nika immediately gives the basketball back to the blonde, who doesn’t hesitate to take the open shot. swoosh.

the crowd erupts in cheers. it was her go to— a midrange jumper that she almost never missed.

paige glances around, taking in the fans jumping up and down at her bucket, screaming her name. she smiles, grateful for the unconditional support. her eyes then latch onto azzi, who’s now jogging up the court.

before she even realizes, the other team makes an easy layup and it’s their possession of the ball. paige shakes it off, backpedaling towards half court. nika inbounds the ball to azzi, who catches it with ease, her eyes already scanning the floor. she takes off.

azzi crosses the court with light jogging, but picks up her speed to weave through two defenders like its second nature. paige trails behind, watching the way azzi moves— fluid, smooth, unshakable. the crowd’s energy builds as azzi dribbles hard to the right, then cuts back to her left, the opposing player stumbling to keep up with her quick movements.

she drives into the paint, sees a small opening at the rim, and goes for it— an easy, fast layup attempt just like they’ve practiced a thousand times before. expect this time, the help defender crashes in hard. too hard.

azzi’s body twists awkwardly as she’s hit off balance. she lands before the other girl, her left foot skidding slightly across the court— and her right knee buckles underneath her.

a painful, sharp crack.

azzi crumbles to the floor, a strangled gasp escaping her lips. her body tenses and she clutches her knee. the gym goes silent immediately— so quiet you could hear a pin drop. the only sound now is the echo of the whistle and azzi’s short, pained breaths.

“azzi!” paige’s voice cuts through the stillness, panicked, raw.

she’s the first to reach azzi— because who else? paige drops to her knees beside her as other teammates join standing around the freshman. her face is tight with pain, shaking her head as if denying what just happened could somehow make it go away.

“it’s okay, you’re okay,” paige says quickly, her hand stroking her head. “just breath, you’re fine.” but her voice trembles, because she doesn’t know if she is. and that terrifies paige, more than anything.

azzi rips her eyes open, letting out a deliberate breath of air. she continues to hold her knee as her gaze finds paige in an instant.

the trainer kneels beside the two, scanning the scene at hand. “you’re knee?” she asks, eyeing it closely, searching for swelling.

azzi winces as her leg is gently lifted. “yes,” she manages to say, her voice small.

“we’ll need to get her back to the locker room,” the trainer explains, motioning for assistance. “get some ice on it, maybe imaging later.”

azzi nods, jaw clenched. she’s not quite crying, but her eyes are glassy with frustration, disappointment. paige doesn’t miss the opportunity to squeeze her hand— three times, for good measure— before pulling away to give the medical staff some space.

she watches as azzi is helped off the court, who is able to walk on her own. it’s a good sign, but paige doesn’t miss the limp azzi has while making her way back to the locker room.

the fans clap softly in support, paige stands frozen near midcourt, hands on her hips, trying to breath. nika jogs up, obviously sensing paige is panicking on the inside. she puts her hand on the blonde’s back, rubbing back and forth in a soothing motion.

“she’s fine, p,” nika reassures her, a comforting smile playing at her lips.

paige nods, trying to convince herself that azzi’s fine, she’s alright, she’s going to be okay.

coach auriemma tries to regroup the team, get their heads back in the game. but paige isn’t listening. not when azzi isn’t here, playing alongside her. her mind is already back in the locker room, thinking of azzi sitting on the training table, her knee wrapped in ice.

if she wasn’t focused before, she definitely isn’t now.

“azzi?”

the game finally comes to an end after what feels like forever. paige manages to skip media for the day and head straight back to the locker room, hoping to find azzi and check in on how’s she doing. she turns the corner to see azzi laying motionless on the training table, her leg stretched out in front of her, ice already strapped to her knee.

“hey,” azzi offers a smile.

“hey,” paige replies, her own lips rising against her will. she has never been able to not smile whenever azzi did. “have they said anything? is it serious?”

azzi’s quiet for a moment. “they said a knee sprain,” she begins, “i guess i got lucky. only two weeks off.”

paige lets out a breath of relief. thank the god above, she thinks. it’s not the best case scenario, but definitely not the worst.

“thank jesus,” paige sighs, her eyes fluttering shut as she holds her hands together, in a prayer gesture.

azzi chuckles, the sound low and tired. she scoots over, moving so theres enough room for two to sit side by side. she pats next to her. the sophomore takes the seat, laying out alongside azzi. she instantly turns on her side, facing the younger girl and tangling their legs together.

it’s quiet for a minute, yet the silence is comfortable, because it’s them. paige and azzi.

paige curls her arm around azzi’s head, her hand now resting on her nape. “you scared me,” she admits, her voice barely above a whisper. “like… really scared me.”

“aw, you worried about me?” azzi teases, her eyes twinkling.

paige rolls her eyes. “shut up,” she pouts. “you know i am.”

azzi softens. “no need to be. i’m perfectly fine,” she states, firm and direct. her tone drops, a little more honest. “okay, maybe not perfectly fine, physically. it did hurt like hell.”

paige’s eyebrows quirk upwards. “i bet.” she looks down, eyeing the ice on azzi’s knee. slowly, carefully, she pulls it away, taking a proper look. it’s definitely swollen, that’s for sure. “damn, az.”

“it’s not that bad now,” she says, looking at it as well.

paige rests the ice back on the sensitive area, gently enough so it wouldn’t cause azzi any sort of pain. she pauses for a moment. “i was bouta jump that bitch who did this to you. swear. i barely held back.”

azzi giggles, the sound warm and delicate— a sound paige replays in her brain, over and over and over again. “that sounds accurate.”

“i would’ve, if coach wasn’t there. nobody’s allowed to hurt you and get away with it,” she explains.

azzi bites her lip, holding back another chuckle. without thinking— almost instinctual— azzi reaches down, grabbing paige’s hand in hers. she intertwines their fingers, rubbing her thumb against paige’s knuckle.

“thank you,” she whispers.

she means it. with everything in her, she means those little, stupid words.

paige doesn’t reply. she simply squeezes azzi’s hand— once, twice, three times— then lifts it to her lips, pressed a soft kiss to the back. her eyes don’t leave azzi’s, steady and warm, saying everything she can’t.

two days later, they win again. barely— by a total of 8 points. it’s messy, gritty, and makes paige play with her jaw clenched the whole second half like she’s pissed about what happened. like she continues to carry the image of azzi clutching her knee on the floor.

instead, azzi watches from the sidelines, a smile never touching her lips. she’s dressed in uconn gear, her brace hidden under loose sweatpants, arms crossed over her chest. they’re better than this— the game really shouldn’t be this close, yet it is.

when the final buzzer goes off, the team lets out a collective breath of relief. paige barely reacts. she shakes hands with the opposing players, nods through the post game huddle, then disappears into the locker room, able to get out of media once again.

coach suggests they need to unwind. so they go out— some place with string lights, too many chairs pushed together, and a menu full of a variety of options. the team’s loud, filling the space with too much energy. laughter spills over half full glasses.

azzi’s got her leg propped up on another chair, leaning back. she’s smiling but quiet, only talking whenever she’s being directly addressed. paige is quiet, too. her mind is still back in the game, going through the motions of her mistakes and how she could’ve prevented them.

the pair is sitting side by side, as expected, close enough to where their legs— azzi’s good one— slightly touch. it doesn’t fail to send jolts of energy through paige, like a rush of adrenaline.

each girl receives their food of choice and immediately starts eating away. the table’s chaos fades into background noise as paige tunes it out, to engrossed in the meal in front of her. and hyperaware of the girl next to her.

at some point, the blonde excuses herself to go to the bathroom. she doesn’t really need to— just needs a second. a breath. space.

on her way back, she stops to glance at the small tv over the bar. a nba game plays— knicks vs celtics. she stands there for a second, zoned out. watching movement. defense. missed opportunities. a player goes down, his pained face filling the screen.

“you’re either a celtics fan or a masochist,” someone says to her left.

she turns. a woman— early twenties, confident, dressed like she belongs somewhere cooler than this place— leans against the counter beside her, a hand wrapped around a glass.

paige huffs a laugh. “celtics fan.”

the woman’s eyes flick towards the screen, then back to the blonde. “you play?”

“something like that.”

she raises an eyebrow, intrigued. “let me guess— a guard. controls the floor.”

paige doesn’t answer, but a faint smirk plays at her lips. the woman steps a little closer.

“thought so,” she says, sipping her drink. “i’m naomi. what’s your name?”

“paige.” she keeps the answer short and sweet, not really looking to start a conversation. not when she has someone waiting for her back at their table.

the woman smiles. “figures.”

paige tilts her head, “figures?”

“just— fits you. strong. sharp,” she pauses. “pretty.”

paige exhales through her nose, amused but not biting. she shifts her weight, eyes drifting back toward the table.

naomi notices, “not into compliments?”

“depends who they’re from.”

she lets that hang between them for a beat. then she grins again, softer this time.

“ah, i see,” she says, cocking her head slightly. then after a moment, adds, “your girlfriend’s been staring daggers at me for the past two minutes.”

paige blinks. “what?”

naomi nods toward the table. “dark curly hair. knee brace. very intense eyes.” she takes a sip. “she looks like she’d fight me in the parking lot just for talking to you.”

paige turns her head— and sure enough, azzi’s staring. elbow on the table, hand half curled near her mouth, gaze locked on paige like nothing else exists in the room.

she doesn’t look away.

and for the first time that night, paige forgets all the mistakes she made in the second half. forgets the box score. forgets how to breath, too. just for a second.

paige thinks about what naomi had said. “she’s not—“

“not your girlfriend?” she cuts her off, eyebrows raised.

paige doesn’t answer.

the woman smirks, taking another fast swig of her beverage. “rigghht.”

“you’re a lucky girl,” naomi continues speaking, “if she were mine, i wouldn’t look at anyone else either.”

it’s right then that azzi appears beside them, quiet steps. calm face, trying to pretend that she wasn’t blatantly watching them moments prior.

“sorry,” she says, barely acknowledging naomi’s presence, “just need more napkins.”

paige looks at her— and it’s as if the noise of the restaurant drops out completely.

azzi’s close now, and paige sees everything in her face: the patience, the tension, the ache she’s pretending not to show. and something else, too. something waiting just below the surface.

“well,” naomi clears her throat, feeling the suffocating tension between them. “it was nice to meet you, paige. good luck.”

but paige barely hears her. she’s far too focused on azzi, and the way she tries her very best to look anywhere but at paige, finding it cute.

paige is staring, eyes softening. then she smiles. not big. not performative.

just real. like she’s seeing her for the first time.

azzi finally gathers the courage to look at her, catching her smile. pauses.

“what—“ she starts to ask, voice uncertain.

but she can’t finish— not when paige’s lips are suddenly on hers, hot and messy.

no hesitation, no buildup. just a simple, clear choice. like it was her only option.

azzi freezes for half a heartbeat, but then melts into the kiss. paige’s hand drops to azzi’s waist, holding her steady in place. their mouths move gently against each others, their tongues tangled.

the restaurant still buzzes around them— twinkling lights hanging from the ceiling, loud laugher, the team shouting over one another somewhere lost in the background.

but right here, in the sliver of space, it’s silent.

it’s just them.

when they part, barely, azzi’s eyes stay closed for a second longer, like she’s still processing what just happened.

but when she opens them again, paige’s silly smile returns to her face. smaller now, a little breathless.

“hi,” paige murmers.

azzi shallows. “hi.”

they don’t say anything else.

they don’t need to.