#anyways when you first commented on my fic i was like 'i know you!!!'
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I know it’s been a while since I post so here’s some Hazbin art. I may upload some more Lucifer and Alastor stuff in the future. I honestly gave up on this because my app kept crashing so it’s kinda messy in some places and a bit all over the place.
This takes place after season 1. Lucifer is trying to heal Alastor’s wound and senses a foreign energy in him. Then a bunch of arguing later, he finds out that it’s Lilith. So, then it clicks for him as to why Alastor was/is at the hotel.
I’m currently working on a fic of it so if you’re interested in reading it, maybe I’ll continue it. I’ll just have to see how my motivation is. [,:
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I do make ship art of them but as an aroace person, I don’t think I’ll be making any NSFW stuff of them because idk if I feel comfy about that. I’ll just see what I’m personally comfortable with in the future though! If I do, I will NOT be anything too graphic or intense because yeah, no.. the art that will be uploaded of them will mainly just be crack/chaotic art and fluffy, domestic stuff of them. Lol.
Soooo, anyways, enjoy my phone doodle! I cramped my fingers drawing this and wanted to chuck my phone across my room because I had to restart this drawing multiple times because my sketchbook app would crash and wouldn’t save anything. QvQ 💛
(This is also gonna be a mini-comic so this is just the first panel of a very short comic thingy. Lmao.)
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(Also, side note, if you don’t ship it, that’s fine. However, please do NOT attack me or any other shippers in reblogs or comments with the statement of us betraying the aroace community or something like that. I am Aroace myself and it’s hurtful to be told that by people who I share a fandom with. I am on a similar spectrum as Alastor and it’s very hard for me to develop those kind of genuine attractions but that doesn’t mean that myself or other aroace people are not capable of those things. I feel infantilised when I see non-aro and non-ace folk speaking up on our behalf. I don’t mind it, per se, but when they act like they are the final say of our community, that’s where I personally take issue. If I am offended by something, I will speak up, I feel like I’m being treated like a child when people do stuff like that.
I do not personally need a non-aroace person speaking up on my behalf. I’m not offended when I see ship art regarding the character of Alastor. I DO get offended when people completely erase his asexuality, act like he has no idea has his anatomy works/infantilise him, erase his boundaries, etc. if you’re making art and fics with care and consideration toward his identity then I’m completely okay. Just be respectful.
I have seen/read some NSFW stuff regarding that character where the artist does handle it with care and respect. I have seen others that.. well.. don’t do that. Lol.
If someone is being genuinely disrespectful toward my community then please say something but DO NOT harass people over simple domestic SFW fanart. Just be nice to people please!!!! I will turn off comments or remove the comments if you attack people over a ship. Know that I am NOT the final say either. This is my personal input and opinion and do not take this as gospel!)
Art is meant to be loved and enjoyed. So, just enjoy and be kind to people please! 💛💛
#hazbin hotel#hazbin lucifer#hazbin hotel lucifer#hazbin alastor#hazbin art#fanart#radioapple#radioapple comic#alastor the radio demon#appleradio#lucifer magne#lucifer morningstar#lucifer x alastor#alastor#the radio demon#alastor x lucifer#lucifer is a quack. literally.#king of hell#my fingers are dying#help me Satan..#ace alastor#hazbin hotel comic#hazbin hotel art
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Right one
Taesan x fem!reader
Word count: 4.7K
Categories: fluff, friends to lovers, slow burn (sorry it's so long), smut, virgin reader, older reader, daddy/mommy said as joke, kissing, cuddling, making out, handjob but not really (?), fingering, unprotected sex (don't do this irl), creampie, tell me if I missed something.
This fic is based on this anon request, hope this somewhat meets your expectations 🫶
English is not my first language, so constructive criticism is appreciated!
Reblogs and likes are very much appreciated but don't repost!
The characters and facts described in this fic don't represents real people or events.
🚫 MDNI 🚫
~♡~
“You know what, we should go on a trip together!”
Your best friend Dongmin - or Taesan, like you used to call him in your friends group because of his height - suggested after a long talk about how your lives had felt stressful lately.
You had broken up with your boyfriend about a month ago, finding out he had been cheating on you with two different girls. Not that you had lost much since you dated for about four months, but still it hurt so much when you thought you were on the same page, thinking about possibly having a future together, while he fooled around behind your back.
As for Taesan, he was tired from university exams and his part time job at a convenience store, and he was finally having a break from both in two weeks, according to what he was saying.
“I don't know… What kind of trip? I've never traveled with friends before.”
Taesan pursed his lips and rested his chin on his palm, humming as he criss crossed his long legs sitting on your couch with his elbows on his knees.
"Uhm, what if we go to Japan? Tokyo? Osaka? Both?”
Your head snapped to look at him with wide eyes, so fast you almost hurt your neck.
“Oh you meant a trip abroad?”
“So what, it's a short trip by plane.”
“Yeah but… it's gonna be more expensive if we gotta buy tickets, and hotel rooms…”
“Well, it's not like it would be much cheaper if we went, I don't know, to Busan by train, or Jeju… We'll need hotel rooms anyway, unless you wanna share a room with a man.”
You stared at him, thinking about his proposal about Japan.
“Fine, sounds good!”
He looked taken aback for a moment, widening his eyes to look at you.
“You really wanna share a room with me?” he pointed at his own chest.
You sighed, rolling your eyes “Not that, I was talking about going to Japan, let's do it!”
And so it was settled, you decided for Tokyo in the end, you booked your hotel rooms and flight tickets, and two weeks later you were there.
On your first day you just walked around Akihabara, looking into stores and chilling into cute cafes, where you insisted on him to wear cat ears and commenting on how cute he looked, trying to reach your hand to pet his head as he swatted it away, frowning and pouting, making you giggle at how he looked even cuter like that.
Later you just found a nice place to have a quick dinner and called it a day since you both were tired.
“You wanna sleep right away? I can keep you company and watch something on netflix if you're not too tired.”
You pondered Taesan's offer but decided to part ways at your door since you felt exhausted.
“I think I'll just take a shower and head to bed.” You yawned, waving and saying goodnight to your friend.
That night, as much as you felt drained of your energies, you couldn't sleep, tossing and turning, blaming it on the different bed, even though you had to admit the bed felt like a cloud. So what was the problem?
You grabbed your phone from the night stand and typed a message to your friend.
You asleep?
You waited for a bit but received no reply, so you just sighed and scrolled through your socials, waiting for morning to arrive so you could wake him up too early instead of waiting for his alarm to go off.
You started getting ready at 5.30 A.M. just so you didn't waste time after waking up Taesan.
When it was 6.30 A.M. you decided you had waited enough, so you called him.
You had to try twice before he picked up the phone, his groggy, raspy voice greeting you on the other side.
“Hello?”
“Good morning! Rise and shine, we have places to go, come on!”
There was silence for a few seconds.
“It's 6 fucking 30. Leave me alone.”
You felt your eyebrow ticking.
“You have no respect for your elders, do you?”
Silence again. He hung up. You sighed, getting up from the bed where you sat and went straight to his room next to yours, knocking on the white colored PVC.
You knocked again until you heard noises and curses behind the door, Taesan’s tall figure soon standing in front of you, holding the shin he had just hit on the furniture on his way to the door.
His hair was a mess, eyes half closed, a frown on his face as he hissed because of the pain.
When he straightened up you couldn't help but notice his pants tenting as your eyes shifted up from his injured shin to his face.
“Uhm, will you take care of your friend here before taking me into your room, please?” you teased him.
He looked down, then up again into your eyes with a half smirk on his lips.
“It's rude to just stare without shaking hands when you first meet someone, my friend is offended.”
“Dude, just go to the bathroom and do your stuff, let's meet downstairs!”
You hoped you hid your flustered expression well enough and stormed off without waiting for a reply.
The fact was, you were attracted to Taesan, he was good looking of course, and you felt some kind of chemistry around him. But you always thought it was one sided, and not wanting to ruin your friendship you always ignored the butterflies whenever he got closer to you or he pulled some flirtatious joke. The trip together seemed fun, until you started to realize being so close to him all the time was starting to get difficult on your part.
“So, what are we gonna do today? Any ideas?” Taesan approached you sitting on the sofa at the reception, scaring you as you were lost in thought.
You observed his relaxed features as you recovered from the jumpscare, hand resting on your chest.
“Oh, you don't seem grumpy anymore…”
He smiled innocently at you “Yeah, I took a nice, refreshing shower and now I feel great… So, where do we go today?”
You tried to ignore the subtle implication in Taesan's reply, your mind briefly going back to his accidental morning wood reveal.
“I was looking through the brochures at the reception and I really wanna try this onsen.”
You showed him the brochure where it described the type of service, the cost and how to reach your destination, which was a bit outside the city towards the mountains.
Taesan read a bit through it and eyed you raising his brows “You know we're supposed to be naked in there, right?”
“Yeah I know, but it's fine as long as we can cover ourselves somehow, like with a towel or something… And we can have a private room with its little private pool so we don't have to be naked in front of a lot of people like it normally would be!” you explained with your index finger raised.
“Somehow that's even worse…”
“What?” you couldn't hear him talking to himself.
“Nothing, if you really wanna go…”
“Yeah, I can't leave Japan without trying a real onsen!”
So after a couple of hours you were at the onsen reception, renting your private room and your bathrobes and ordering some food since you didn't have breakfast yet.
You both changed outfits and went to your room with food and drinks in hand, relieved to at least find some towels next to the little pool.
You ate chatting about what to do for dinner once you get back to the city, but when you finished your food the room fell silent.
“Well… Should we get in now?”
Taesan questioned, looking at you as he undid the belt on his bathrobe and started sliding it off his broad shoulders.
You panicked “Wait! Not in front of me! At least grab a towel first!”
You didn't know where to put your hands, on your whole face or in front of his crotch to block the dangerous area from your sight.
Taesan laughed out loud “Relax, I was just kidding, I'm not gonna flash you like this!”
“You little moron…” you cursed at him under your breath as he kept snickering, getting up to get a towel for himself and another one which he tossed at your face, trying to lighten the atmosphere and bring back your usual bickering mood.
You felt your face burning up as you told him to turn around while you wrapped yourself in the white towel and he did the same covering his waist and crotch.
You tried not to ogle at his broad chest, not wanting to get caught and give yourself away. You were starting to regret suggesting this kind of activity, overestimating your control over your emotions and body reactions, the butterflies in your stomach storming around, making you almost nauseous.
You both carefully dipped into the hot water, keeping your towels secured around your bodies and you tried to relax, closing your eyes and taking deep breaths as you rested your head on a smooth rock.
It was silent for a while and your mind started wandering until you felt like sharing some of your concerns with Taesan, who was sitting with his arms spread on the edge of the pool, eyes closed.
“Hey… I was thinking, what would you do if your girlfriend didn't have sex with you even after months into the relationship?”
“What kind of question is this?” Taesan furrowed his brows.
“Just think about it and answer. Would you cheat on her? Wait until she feels like doing it? What would you do?”
“Wait for her to feel safe with me, of course.”
You opened your eyes, side eyeing him as he still rested his head on the edge of the pool with his eyes closed.
“Be honest, I won't judge you…”
“I'm being honest, if I was into a relationship I would have love and respect for her, if I ever feel the need to cheat on my girlfriend, why keep the relationship going in the first place?”
“Right, that's a good point!”
“And” he continued “much before starting to think about cheating, which makes no sense to me, I'd try and understand why my girlfriend doesn't want to have sex with me, if I think that's an issue.”
“What if she's just scared… ‘Cause she's a virgin?” You eyed him, his eyes now open, staring at the plants next to the pool as he thought about his answer.
“I'd try to make her feel safe, and try not to make her feel pressured into doing it until she feels ready.”
He then shifted his gaze on your eyes “I'd feel honored to be her first, so I'd patiently wait for her.”
You hummed, letting his words resonate in your head, while you slowly slipped under the hot water surface, your nose barely out as you started feeling dizzy and closing your eyes. You could barely hear Taesan's voice calling your name as the heat got to your head and made you faint.
You opened your eyes, finding yourself laying on the wooden floor next to the pool, Taesan kneeling next to you, holding up your legs and fanning your face with the uchiwa the onsen provided you earlier.
He called your name again, a clearly worried expression on his face while you gradually regained conscience and he breathed a relieved sigh as you called his name and assured him you were fine.
“Lay there and keep your legs up, I'm calling the staff.”
“No no, I'm ok, just ask for some shaved ice so I can eat it and cool down a bit!”
“You sure?” Taesan eyed you suspiciously as he grabbed the phone.
“Yeah, I feel a lot better here outside the pool. I want melon on the shaved ice!”
He hummed, calling for room service, his eyes never leaving you as you kept fanning yourself.
“I'm ordering some cold noodles as well since it's lunch time already.”
The rest of the morning passed as you ate and relaxed, cooling down as Taesan constantly kept an eye on you, insisting on going back to the hotel right after lunch so you could rest in your room.
He allowed you some privacy just so you both could take a shower in your respective rooms then insisted on keeping you company watching netflix from the tablet in your room until dinner, which you ordered once again with room service.
“What do you wanna do after dinner?” you asked while chewing on your chicken skewers.
"What do you mean? We're staying in your room tonight, I wanna be sure you're not fainting again.”
“But-”
“We'll see what to do tomorrow morning after you rest.” Taesan stared at you.
“Ok daddy…” you teased him.
“Don't call me that, you're older than me, it makes me cringe.”
“You're implying you wouldn't mind me calling you daddy if I were younger?”
“It's not like that… How’d you react if I called you mommy?”
You almost choked on your water, a playful smirk on Taesan's lips as he watched you try to regain some composure.
“It's so fun, you always start shit then get flustered when I play your own game…” He got up from the chair and reached for the door.
“Gonna brush my teeth, I'll be right back. Find something to watch on netflix in the meantime.”
When you let him in your room again he went straight to your bed, fixing a pillow behind his back and watching you expectantly, making room next to him as you joined.
You chose something light to watch, just so you could relax before bed, all the while Taesan kept you close to him with his arm around your shoulders, stroking your arm gently and eventually resting his cheek on the side of your head, inhaling the faint scent of your shampoo.
You felt so warm, your cheeks heating up as you weren't used to such closeness, even though you enjoyed it.
When the movie was over and Taesan started moving to get up you suddenly clung to him and caged his arms and legs tangling yours together.
“Don't go, please…”
“What now, you wanna sleep together?”
When you didn't reply but just squeezed him more he squirmed just enough to free himself a bit and be able to look at your face, which you tried to hide against his chest, your eyes suddenly welling up with tears at the thought of being alone the whole night after the scare of that morning.
“Wait, you really want me to stay?”
“Don't laugh at me, I'm scared to be alone, ok?” You defended yourself.
“I'm not laughing at you. It's just, you acted so tough I thought I was the only one being worried… You really got scared, huh?”
He hugged you as you nodded your head as a reply.
“I'm sleeping here tonight if you want me to, don't worry.”
You eventually found yourself clawing at his white shirt like you were scared he would run away, as he shifted on his side to face you and get closer to you, his arm resting on your waist as you intertwined your leg between his.
After a while you thought he fell asleep as he didn't move anymore.
“Taesan…” you whispered and got no reply, but you continued anyway murmuring a little louder “Thanks, I really feel safe with you.”
He surprised you as he moved his arm, taking your hand into his big one, bringing it to his lips to kiss your knuckles as you stopped breathing for a second.
“I'm glad, I really care about you, even though I always nag you…”
You chuckled “I like it, secretly…”
“And secretly, I like you… A lot.” Taesan confessed, looking at you in the faint light coming from the city outside the window.
“You better never scare me again like you did today, ok?”
He held you closer to his chest as he pressed his lips on your forehead, his warmth somewhat comforting even in the warm early summer weather.
You snuggled closer to him if that was even possible and raised your head, your noses brushing together as you gazed at him in the faint light, silently asking for him to cross the already blurry line between friendship and something more.
And he finally did, cupping your warm cheek into his large hand, holding you like he was scared to hurt you, as he brushed his lips against yours, then pressing them together when he felt your arms gripping his shirt, nails lightly scratching his back through the thin fabric.
You both sighed as you parted from the brief kiss, knowing your relationship would change forever and there was no going back.
You smiled as he pecked your lips again and again, his hands wandering until one rested on your hip, his thumb brushing your exposed skin as your pink shirt rode up your waist.
You hummed against his lips as his hand slid to the back of your thigh, hoisting it up to hook around his own thigh, his kisses now becoming more hot and passionate, your little positive sounds and reactions spurring him on.
His wet tongue slipped past your parted lips as you threaded your fingers through his dark locks, your making out more and more intense as he subtly started to roll his hips against yours.
And you felt it, his stiff bulge pressing against your clothed heat, eliciting a shy moan from you as his movements put pressure on your clit, a damp spot starting to form on your panties now.
This was all new to you, you never felt comfortable enough to go past some kissing with your ex.
You felt scared and safe at the same time, you felt an intimate connection with Taesan you'd never felt with anyone else before.
His soft lips and tongue sent sparks through your body as he kept kissing you with fervor, then he moved to your cheek, your jaw, your neck, as he pushed you to lay on your back, slotting himself between your spread legs, hips rolling and pressing down on you.
You couldn't stop your moans when he found a sensitive spot on your neck, sucking and biting on it, goosebumps forming on your body and shivers making you squirm under his weight.
Taesan stopped after a while, sliding his hands under the hem of your shirt and looking at you, making sure you still felt comfortable as he lifted your shirt above your chest and helped you remove it, revealing your white, lacey bra, his breath catching in his throat as he admired you.
“Don't stare��” your feeble voice snapped him out of his awestruck state and he smiled at you, looking directly into your eyes.
“Sorry…” he apologized before lifting his own shirt above his head, thinking if he was naked as well you would feel a bit less self conscious.
And it worked, your mind too preoccupied deciding whether or not to stare at his abs, or chest or just focus on his eyes.
Then your wandering eyes fell on the obvious tent in his grey sweats, your bottom lip between your teeth as you ogled it, curious to know how it would look if he was completely naked, if it really was as big as it looked while still restrained in his pants.
Taesan followed your gaze, noticing how you subtly squirmed, not being able to rub your thighs together as they were spread around his legs while he kneeled in front of you.
He then gently took your hand in his and put it on his abs just above the waistband, suggesting you touch him where he needed it most, but still not wanting to force you.
You looked up at him and then back down again where your hand rested, pressing a little and dragging it down to stroke on top of his bulge, experimentally wrapping your fingers around it as best as you could while it was still clothed.
It felt hot, hard and big, almost heavy as you curiously seized it, moving your hand slowly up and down.
You heard a groan leaving his throat as your thumb reached above the tip and pressed a bit, continuing your experimental strokes when Taesan suddenly wrapped his fingers around your wrist to stop your movements, using his other hand to pull down his sweats and reveal a wet patch on the side of his grey boxers, where his swollen tip sat, painfully restrained by the fabric.
He brought your hand on his clothed shaft again, your palm now damp with his precum as you resumed your strokes, looking up at him as he spoke, voice unusually raspy and strained.
“See what you do to me? Think I'll go insane… fuck-”
He cursed as you pressed your thumb under his slit, his shaft twitching as you kept stroking until he had to grab your wrist and stop you, already close to release.
You looked at him, concerned that maybe you did something wrong.
“Feels too good, don't wanna cum in my pants…” he chuckled as he pushed you down on the mattress once more, kissing you, tongues tangling together as he slowly reached a hand to massage on your breast through the fabric of your bra, eliciting a moan as his fingers brushed on your nipple, his hand then inching down to your blue shorts, slowly slipping his fingers past your waistband, observing your reaction as you took shaky breaths through your slightly agape lips.
He grasped the waistband and pulled your shorts down, revealing your white panties as he smirked, noticing how they matched your bra and asking himself if it was possible you actually planned this beforehand.
Taesan took a moment to admire you as you tried to cover yourself with your arms, suddenly feeling shy, before he reached his hand between your legs to caress your heat through the fabric, sliding his index and middle finger down your folds, feeling how your wetness pooled on the seat of your panties, the small squelching sounds leaving no doubts as he moved his fingers slowly up and down and in slow circles around your clit, little moans and whines filling his ears as he went back to kissing and sucking on your neck.
You suddenly felt his fingers pulling your panties to the side, his digits sliding through your wet folds as he groaned in your neck, nibbling and pulling on the skin, his fingers slowly circling your entrance until you felt his middle finger slowly prodding at your tight hole.
You gasped as he slowly and gently pushed inside, not expecting him to push to the knuckle but he did, stilling as you adjusted to the intrusion, then slowly starting to massage your walls, slightly curling it and pressing it upward until he found your most sensitive spot, signaled by your moans increasing in volume and frequency.
As you were still a virgin, you felt incredibly full just with one finger so you got a bit apprehensive when Taesan carefully started pushing his second digit along his middle finger as he slowly pumped in and out, your walls tight around it.
You grabbed his wrist stilling his movement before he could properly push his second digit inside.
“Wait, I- I think it’ll be too much… I'm not… Used to it.”
Taesan kissed your forehead and locked eyes with you, his face still close to yours, sharing the same air as you breathed heavily.
“This is your first time, right?”
You knew Taesan was not dumb, he would put two and two together after the apparently random talk that morning about cheating and virginity, so you just nodded without questions, still looking into his brown eyes.
“You still want me to be your first?”
“Yes.” You replied without hesitation.
“Please, trust me. I'll make you feel so good, I promise…”
You nodded before he closed the gap and kissed you slowly, your tongues chasing each other as he resumed his fingers’ movements, your muscles eventually relaxing and he took it as a sign to push his second finger in.
And so he did, carefully stretching you as the initial burn subsided and you started enjoying the sensation of his fingers curling and pressing around your warm walls.
He kept at it for a while, your hips eventually moving on their own as you started clenching around his digits, your climax slowly approaching, when a whine left your mouth, his fingers retracting from your wet warmth before you could reach your high.
Taesan brushed a hand on your hair and pecked your lips as he pulled down your underwear, his own following soon, leaving both of you naked except for your bra.
He grabbed one of your thighs, his still wet fingers dipping in the plush of your skin as his grip tightened and he wrapped it around his waist.
Like that you finally felt his shaft directly pressing against your core, and soon you understood why he insisted on stretching you out a bit more with his fingers.
His swollen tip struggled to slip past your tight entrance as he tried to guide it inside of you using his hand.
“Baby, relax, you're so tight…”
His tip was barely halfway in when he started massaging your clit, more wetness seeping around your entrance as he slowly pushed, feeling your muscles spasming, relaxing just to tighten again and again around his tip, but he eventually managed to fit inside, pausing for a moment, breathing heavily as you got accustomed to the feeling and he kept massaging your swollen clit.
“Doing so good, taking me so well…” he praised you, kissing your cheek as you panted and whimpered as he slowly started moving his hips again, moving back a little, spreading your arousal and pushing back a little more, your walls gripping him every time he tried to pull out a bit, until he felt he could push a little bit more roughly and he did, unable to hold back anymore as he finally bottomed out and he started thrusting as gently as his pleasure filled mind could allow.
The stretch felt unfamiliar but enjoyable as he dragged his shaft in and out, hitting deeply, spurred on by your moans and whimpers, your nails finding purchase on his neck and back.
Then you heard your own voice like it was someone else speaking, urging him to give you more, to fuck you harder, to come inside of you and make you his.
“You sure? Want me to- ugh- fuck you harder? Like this?” Taesan punctuated his words with hard thrusts as he grabbed both your legs and put them on his shoulders, almost folding you in half into the mattress.
You couldn't recognize your own voice as you moaned loudly with each deep thrust, your eyes squeezing shut as you finally came hard on his pistoning shaft, your walls convulsing on him, arousal coating his length as he groaned at the feeling, precum mixing to your juices.
With a final hard thrust he fucked into your spent cunt one more time and stilled as he emptied himself inside of you, the feeling of his warm seed coating your insides making you clench on his cock one more time, moaning his name as you slowly regained conscience of who you were and what had just happened.
Taesan carefully pulled out, observing in awe as his cum seeped out of you, cursing at the arousing sight, biting his lip.
You sat up and reached for him, pulling his face to yours to share a passionate kiss.
He caressed your cheek and opened his mouth to talk at the same moment as you did.
“I love you.”
You both giggled, the same sentence coming out of your mouths at the same time, and you were sure Taesan was the right one all this time and you were glad he felt the same.
#fanfic#kpop smut#smut#boynextdoor smut#boynextdoor x reader#taesan smut#taesan x reader#anon request#bnd smut#bnd x reader
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OMG U WRITE FOR MAVUIKA!??!?!? WHATTTTT??????
Bro I dont think I have seen a yandere fic of her which is down right torture since NATLAN LITTERLY CAME OUT MONTHS AGO???
Either way, would it be ok for me to place a request for her?
If yes, could I please ask for some yan! Mavuika hc with a darling who is on hunger strike?(bacically refuses to eat unless freed)
Also, how r u? How r u feeling? Let me tell you girl(sorry for the long ask/request/idk😭), you and anybody who is willing to write for yandere Mavuika, deserves nothing but painless periods with 0% cramps.
AHHHHH 😍😍😍 Thank you for the sweet words (same goes to you 🎀), I‘m doing good btw. I hope you’re doing good too <333.
And you’re so right, like why doesn’t anyone write any Mavuika stuff?!!! 😭
Like yesterday I searched for some Mavuika stories, but the search only showed me Masterlists for some reason 💀
So I decided to take matters into my own hands and feed myself and all the Pookies that also need Mavuika Stories/Headcanons etc. 😤✨
𝕐𝕒𝕟𝕕𝕖𝕣𝕖 𝕄𝕒𝕧𝕦𝕚𝕜𝕒 𝕨𝕚𝕥𝕙 𝕒 𝕃𝕠𝕧𝕖𝕣 𝕥𝕙𝕒𝕥'𝕤 𝕠𝕟 ℍ𝕦𝕟𝕘𝕖𝕣 𝕊𝕥𝕣𝕚𝕜𝕖 (ℍ𝕖𝕒𝕕𝕔𝕒𝕟𝕠𝕟𝕤)
𝕄𝕒𝕤𝕥𝕖𝕣𝕝𝕚𝕤𝕥 - 𝔾𝕖𝕟𝕤𝕙𝕚𝕟 𝕀𝕞𝕡𝕒𝕔𝕥
𝔹𝕠𝕪𝕔𝕠𝕥𝕥 𝕃𝕚𝕤𝕥
Pairing: Yandere Mavuika x Reader
Fandom: Genshin Impact
Warnings: Obsessiveness, Force Feeding, Threatening, (intended) Self - Harm, Manipulation
English isn’t my first/native language, so there might be misspellings.
Also, I do Not own any Characters like Mavuika.
Anyway, have fun reading this :) (Especially the sweet anon that requested this 🫶🏻)
Obsession Fueled by Control
Mavuika sees your hunger strike as a challenge to her authority and love. It frustrates her deeply but also heightens her obsession. In her mind, your refusal to eat only cements her need to "save" you from yourself.
Manipulative Tactics
She plays the role of the caring lover, bringing you your favorite meals and pretending to be heartbroken over your stubbornness. She’ll whisper soft reassurances: "I only want what’s best for you, my darling. Why won’t you trust me?"
Breaking Your Resolve
Mavuika might employ psychological tactics to break your hunger strike. She would eat in front of you, savoring every bite while commenting on how delicious it is, knowing the scent and sight might tempt you.
Force Feeding
If desperation takes hold, she might resort to physically forcing you to eat. Holding you close, she might sweetly yet menacingly whisper: "I can’t let you hurt yourself, love. If you won’t eat willingly, I’ll make sure you do."
Threatening Self - Harm
When all else fails, Mavuika might turn to dramatic acts of self-harm to guilt you into compliance. "If you won’t take care of yourself, I’ll make sure we both waste away together!"
Have a good day/night/evening/morning/afternoon ☼꥟☽
#Genshin Impact#Genshin#Mavuika#Genshin Impact Mavuika#Mavuika Genshin Impact#Genshin Mavuika#Mavuika Genshin#Yandere Mavuika#Yandere Mavuika x Reader#Reader x Yandere Mavuika#Yandere Mavuika x Y/n#Y/n x Yandere Mavuika#Mavuika x Reader#Reader x Mavuika#Mavuika x Y/n#Y/n x Mavuika#Natlan#Yandere
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LUFFY WITH A BAKER PARTNER(related to Sanji perchance) THAT HE HARASSED SEMI CONSTANTLY FOR SWEETS
hcs or fic idc i just need fluffy luffy
Hello dear!
Thanks for requesting! This is my first OP piece, let me know how it goes!
Tsuki's note: As i am on episode 300 or something, i am not so sure about Sanji's family to do a convincing plot. So, bear with me here. Reader is his sibling from the heart aka grew up together like siblings.
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You were taken in by Zeff soon after he and Sanji started the restaurant.
You were a lonely rude kid.
But soon enough you found your passion in baking.
Zeff trained you to protect yourself - you never know what is lurking in these waters.
So very often you sparred with Sanji.
He was like a brother to you, always together.
Alas, before the strawhats got to Baratie to recruit Sanji, you were already gone for your own adventure.
A client saw you had great talent for baking and invited you to work in a renowned restaurant.
This person also loved Sanji's cooking but your stupid brother declined.
Sanji and Zeff fully supported you on pursuing that path.
They knew you could fend for yourself and the experience was great!
You were heartbroken that Sanji didn't tag along with you and also leaving the Baratie behind.
But you went anyway.
After months of leaving the Baratie and living on this new island, working for that restaurant you met the strawhats.
When they arrived at the island and reached the city, Sanji immediately recognized the restaurant that you would be there.
Alas, he had no time to explain anything, because the captain just rushed there. Luffy was gone in seconds.
Sanji chased after him in sheer desperation. Luffy could easily bankrupt a restaurant.
After the introduction was said and done and you hugged Sanji tightly, You offered the crew a cake you baked.
Soon you realized a single cake wasn't enough, because Luffy absolutely loved it!
He was like a vacuum cleaner swallowing the whole cake.
Well, that was not the end of your interaction with the captain, no.
While they were on the island, he went to you almost every free day he had to ask you for food.
You had told him your specialty was sweets, not meat, but he didn't seem to care.
Luffy claimed that, sure, there is no better food than meat, your baking goods came second place.
Did this comment made you happy? yes.
Did you like having him around your kitchen the whole time? No. He ate everything.
So to stop him from just blasting into the restaurant you promised him little treats.
It worked, surprisingly. But it was meant he came t nag you directly, quite often.
It made you wonder if your brother was actually feeding this boy or not.
A little bit before the crew went exploring he asked you make little bento's.
You thought that was weird, as Sanji has done them minutes ago.
But Luffy said he needed more strength than that and your food was the jackpot!
Again, happy? yes. Very.
You gladly baked what he asked, for everyone, of course.
You were worried sick as they took a long time to return - Luffy and Sanji promised to return to your work to say bye.
After a few days they were back beaten and bloodied, but smiling and filled with stories about what happened.
They didn't stay for long though, just two more days to recover.
These two days Luffy assumed you would keep your deal from before.
Well, you forgot about it, so he blasted in the kitchen upset, demanding his donuts.
To make up to him, you baked the donuts and cupcakes.
When it was time to say goodbye, you were invited in the crew by Luffy , who claimed that having a baker would be great.
But Sanji shot him down. Your silly brother didn't want you to sacrifice your career to be a pirate.
Despite you working with Zeff of a floating ship.
You didn't accept Luffy's invitations. The captain was very upset, but as soon as you explained you wanted to go to other restaurants to learn more recipes for him, Luffy got over the moon.
He accepted your negative, as long as you kept your promise.
And you did! After the two years time skip, you all met again.
This time you had tons of new recepies to share with Sanji and bake!
Needless to stay you had Luffy on your heels the entirety of their visit.
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Thank you for reading!
i feel like i wrote more about Sanji xSibling reader than anything, sorry !
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Hello, hello!
This isn't really an ask, but I just wanted to say that I'm really enjoying Unova Under Siege! Your writing flows really well, and I'm quite curious about Grimsley’s involvement (and Colress', for that matter).
I'm also wondering where you'll take the Grimsley/Colress pairing (since it's in the tags), but I should just be patient and wait. XD
My rambling aside, you probably know me better as the person who chatters in the comment section of the fic.
I guess you could say this "ask" is my rather unorthodox way of saying 'hello'!
omg hello thank you!!! :) i believe i recognize you from a grimsley/colress fic i read where grims was a vampire (which i adored btw)
anyways yes colress and grimley are a thing in unova under siege! but i do want to apologize to the falsepretenses truthers because they don't get a happy ending :( (the antigrav nation gets crumbs though sorrynotsorry) BUT in the meantime most of grimsley and colress' interactions are sweet little couple things mixed with the deadly mischief that comes with being in team plasma
anyways hello and thank you for the ask! here's a very quick and very shitty drawing of grimsley and colress
#i just checked and unless i missed something colress and grims don't actually have an interaction until chapter 17 :(((#the joys of being side characters#anyways when you first commented on my fic i was like 'i know you!!!'#unovaundersiegeau#falsepretensesshipping#(i guess.)
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[ID: a series of drawings featuring Riz Gukgak from D20 Fantasy High. In the first, Pok holds Riz's shoulders in heaven as says, smiling, when you work until the dead of night, your friends know you do it because you love them. In the second, Riz is having a group hug with his party and the text reads, but is it really love that drives you, Riz Gukgak... In the next, a desperate, pleading Riz clutches the shoulder of an indifferent, faceless person and the text continues, ...or is it fear? In the fourth, Riz is younger and digging through crystals with bleeding hands; the text reads, what use are you when you can no longer dig. In the fifth, Kalina, shrouded in darkness with only her eyes glowing, reaches towards the camera with a smile; the text reads, when you're too scared to think. Sixth, Riz is filling out Fig and Kristen's papers under the light of a lamp, serious and tired; the text reads, when you're too tired to work. Seventh, Riz is lying in bed, eyes hidden behind hair, hand on his father's picture; the text reads, too sad to keep the mood up. Eighth, Baron stares into the camera; the text reads, too lonely, too insecure, too weird. Ninth, Baron is holding a defeated Riz by the throat; the text reads, to keep moving? Tenth, Riz is standing in the distance, holding his briefcase, and behind him is a football/soccer ball; the text reads, what use is a ball that can no longer roll? The last drawing just says none in brackets on a dark background. End ID]
#riz gukgak#fantasy high#d20 fantasy high#fhsy#fhjy#fantasy high sophomore year#super funny story abt how/why i finished this after being out of the fandom for a While now#sb commented on my sklonpok fic prompting me to reread it#and then when i next sat down to drawn smt i rly got the desire to finish this#one inking and colouring later (and some hours) here you go#you can tell which drawing i did from scratch now rather than just inked jsdjskjdk when i draw too much like i did for fh u can see it#number three though? super happy w that one#so happy i didn't even ink the face i just left the original sketch#don't usually colour things but i got the itch here and decided to practice my simple colour palettes a bit#can't get better if u don't experiment#anyway enjoy! riz angst is always on the menu in this house#the notes on the first drawing said to check the episode transcript to see exactly what i said but i didnt feel like it sjkdjskjd#so i left it as i remembered it. but pok enjoyers will know which quote i was getting at
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idk if i've discussed it before (i have certainly THOUGHT about it) but someone on my kuwa suffering ep 89 comp mentioned it and i just had to go off about it like. ok. sensui tells yusuke something along the lines of "you heard itsuki" when itsuki's inside the uraotoko, implying that not only can sensui hear those inside the uraotoko, but that he expects yusuke to be able to as well. which means that yusuke Almost Certainly Heard And Kind Of Ignored kuwabara's prolonged mental breakdown and wailing about how much he needs yusuke to live etc. which. guHHH i hate him yusuke you ass but also listen.
the only acknowledgement yusuke gives to this (if any) is when he says something like "sensui you're sooo fucking cooked this plan's going perfectly (my friends are going to get strong and kill you when i die)." he's trash talking to sensui, ignoring the others because, i think, he doesn't want to acknowledge what he's doing to them.
yusuke is explicitly recreating the experience he had with kuwabara's "death" at the hands of toguro, complete with the announcement of intent (and power) to kill, the inability to impede the threat in any way (barring a power-breakthrough), and the target in some way racing towards/volunteering for their death. yusuke learns through doing, and through tough love-style approaches. it's only effective if it hurts. watching kuwabara die like that was devastating to yusuke, but it sure as hell fucking worked. he beat toguro because of that maneuver. so even if he has to (re-)traumatize his friends in the process, this method will make his friends stronger, and he feels confident in that. but he never had to live with the consequences of kuwabara's death, not really. that's something hiei makes clear before they enter the cave as well, that there are no fake-outs ready to make him or anyone else stronger. the only deaths here will be real. the only power gained will come at a high, permanent cost. hiei's warning is an attempt to keep everyone alive, to keep yusuke from being stupid. and then yusuke decides to take that fatality into his own hands, but it's kind of his friends who would pay the price. he's going to make them live through the days, months, years without him, the actual permanency of loss (assuming they survive for that long), something he never experienced with kuwabara (a new facet of that traumatic scenario), AND he's escaping the emotional fallout of this choice through death. he doesn't have to see them mourn, won't get yelled at, won't watch them fail to move on. he's tapping out and choosing to believe they'll be fine.
but i think he feels guilty. just a little. i mean, yusuke couldn't even believe that people cared about him enough to want him alive in episode one. he's staked everything on his friends, which means he still kind of... doesn't value his own life, at least not compared to theirs. but he believes his friends love him and want him around, and we know that because he has to, or else he wouldn't make a plan that depends entirely on that love. he is actively leveraging the care he doesn't think he deserves, trying to hurt them in a way he is intimately familiar with (only worse), for.... what, exactly?
this is kind of my sticking point tbh. i don't think the answer is... super clear, but let's start with what it's not.
yusuke is not doing this because it is the most practical way to save all of humanity; that would be the mafukan, which he stopped. it could be a gamble to save all of his friends? the mafukan strategy would guarantee koenma's death/eternal imprisonment, whereas this strategy gambles all of humanity on the chance that his friends come out of the Easy Break Oven strong enough to avert the end of the world. if the sacrifice of even one friend is completely intolerable, perhaps he'd accept those slim odds and their steep consequences. yusuke tends to take risks like that, especially when he's got fight-induced tunnel vision. he doesn't think things through too much; his schemes are usually dependent on surprising his enemy enough to oneshot them. truthfully, i think this is the closest we'll get to an answer, and it's a more conventional one for this kind of story. but there is another layer i haven't been able to get from my mind.
i think yusuke is gifting each of his friends an honorable warrior's death.
so, in case it needs saying, yusuke, kuwabara, kurama, and hiei all (at least once, if not several times) exhibit a desire to die in combat in a way they deem noble to give their lives purpose (usually by self-sacrifice, but sometimes by another metric of honor, like hiei's duel with shigure and his desire to die in mutual defeat against an evenly matched opponent; or even kurama's decision to fight shigure in his human form, displaying a sort of passive suicidality via placing being true to himself in this (somewhat symbolic/inconsequential) way over survival). they need to make their lives count for something, because they feel guilty for being alive (kurama and hiei feel guilty for their past actions (hiei's is most evident in his distance from yukina, though that's not its primary reason), hiei, kuwabara, and yusuke have all been ostracized and made to feel like burdens on/unwanted by their caregivers and general society; all four of them have felt profound isolation even from their loved ones (yusuke and hiei are rather obvious; kurama can never tell his mother about the majority of his life nor what she truly means to him in the context of it; and kuwabara is separated from his peers for his spiritual awareness and his "stupidity" (plus his parents aren't around? and he is Desperate to define manhood/manliness through a broader pop cultural one which includes the warrior sacrifice thing bc he has no male role models BUT that's for another post) (i will admit kuwa's the most tenuous one here irt isolation)). they want to die for a cause so badly it's actually physically painful to me. it is passive suicidality, and they define their lives and identities by their relation to, engagement with, and skill at doing violence, etc. they live to die by the sword. anyway. nobody talks about it but i think it's very important to understanding what yusuke's doing here.
because i think he knows that about himself and his friends. they're kindred spirits. at the very least he knows this about kuwabara, who literally made a speech about this before diving into toguro's fingers In The Event That He Is Recreating Explicitly. he is dying nobly like they all want to on the chance that they'll get to break out and fight sensui rather than dying without even getting to take a swing. it's about his pride and theirs. but i don't think yusuke necessarily believes they'll win. he knows better than anyone how strong sensui is, and how wide the gap is between sensui and team urameshi. his stated position that humanity is doomed and that he doesn't care about its fate is, i think, not completely genuine, but if we take it at face value, he's not killing himself so that his friends can survive the end of the world. something's going to come around and kill them eventually. he's doing it so they can survive long enough to fight sensui. he needs them (specifically kuwabara) to be strong enough to free themselves to begin round two. but he's given up on their side winning, on humanity surviving, on his own victory---why should he think his friends are capable of winning? this could be another case of yusuke's fight-blinders. it could be another gamble, more blind faith put in his friends. but honestly it reads more to me that yusuke's giving them a chance to die together on the battlefield. them winning would be great, but it's not his goal. it's a pipe dream.
he knows he's going to be killed. they're probably going to be killed, too. but to make it so they last a little longer against sensui, to make the odds a little more even, so they are killed not like livestock, but like worthy fighters, he'd die a little faster. it's the best kind of death someone like them can have; and he'll deprive himself of it just to make their ends a little sweeter. even if the road to that is far more bitter.
but it's not like yusuke's friends know what he's thinking or agree to it, and he can't exactly make his case for it in the moment. he's making that choice for them. whatever his intentions, whatever odds he thinks they have of beating sensui, he's kind of sealing all of their fates. so how the hell is he supposed to acknowledge kuwabara screaming at him not to die, trying desperately to express what yusuke means to him in what could be their final moments together? this plan is going to hurt his friends terribly. it is already doing so, and he can hear it. his choices to stop koenma from using the mafukan and to die for his friends' strength are both selfish in some way, no matter how you read the scene. if yusuke comforts kuwabara, he might not get strong enough. if he twists the knife, well... how could he forgive himself? and either way by responding he would have to face them all and say yes, i'm doing this regardless of your feelings (with the intention of hurting you). so i think he does what he often does. he avoids it. he lets that emotion glance off him and his bravado and his one-liners so he doesn't have to deal with the fact that he's hurting people, that he's scared and guilty and unsure of himself. that he's about to die again, about to put kuwabara through the grief he saw at his wake again, only worse; about to put his quieter friends through something similar.
yusuke is confronted with the responsibility one has to the people who care for them, and he runs from it in an attempt to give them some small peace. just like when he died before and thought hey, at least my mom and keiko won't be burdened by me anymore. because the only thing he can really do for them is die.
#UGH. sick of this stupid show (<- pathologically obsessed with it (it's just on a downturn rn))#anyway hi welcome back to my terrible mind here's another excruciatingly long yyh meta post no one's gonna read that i should just make a#video essay because nobody wants to squint through all that text but MAYBE they'd listen to me read it out. anyway#i actually made and then abandoned another post comparing yusuke's sacrifice here to genkai's death by toguro if anyone's interested in tha#anyway yeah sorry if im rusty in uh talkking about these guys. they're still rattling around in here dw#that comment just fucking hijacked my brain. my first thought was to make an ep 89 yusuke pov fic but since that's Probably not#gonna ever Actually get done (sorry) i figured i'd put the analysis behind it here bc this fucking choice makes me want to rip my hair out#(in a good way in a painful way)#yeah this gets derailed. ugh i hope all that stuff about yusuke's motivation in this gambit makes sense bc i still don't feel 100% about my#reading of it. his ass IS very much an unreliable narrator. but in what way? ehhhhh it's hard to say for sure in this case. to me.#yyh#yu yu hakusho#yyh meta#yayyy#yusuke urameshi#literally wrote for so long the sun started rising (<- not impressive since you don't know when i began writing. but i can't tell you bc i#don't remember lol)#also: his relinquishing of this fight is very interesting to me. he loses his shit when raizen kills sensui and deprives him of that victor#and he tells the others to stand down once he returns. so clearly he still Cares about beating sensui himself#but when he thinks there's no other choice he's willing to settle for passing that torch to his friends#he's like well they've earned a good revenge killing. as a treat#the real answer is probably something like 'it would fuck with the pacing' but fuck that lol it's in the show i'm going to talk about it#and a lot of this still applies even if he Can't hear them bc he Has to expect the begging and crying bc 1. he's lived it via toguro 2. his#plan depends on it. even if he's only imagining his friends' heartbreak he's choosing to ignore it for the sake of his plan#ANYWAY the real answer for. pretty much everyone is to give up fighting and find something healthier to attach their worth to#which is why kuwa not being in the final arc is a good thing (as much as it hurts me not to see my boy)#yyh really said YOU HAVE TO BECOME WELL ADJUSTED. DYING WILL NOT GET YOU OUT OF IT#i only skimmed thru this once sorry if it's ass
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Yes it's a response to your last poll reblogged... I try to not care about kudos and comments but it's hard
AH
sorry nonny my reading comprehension rn is like -50% due to being distracted at all times by the show dropping tomorrow morning, but like, I think it's a matter of like, not necessarily not caring about kudos and comments and such because like, these are nice things to have! We are wired to like it when people go "I LIKE THIS!" about stuff that we make. Why would a person stop caring about that? That seems counter intuitive to me.
But more like, getting stuck on a toxic spiral of "I am creating this so someone will tell me that they like it" -> "I am sad because no one has told me they like it yet" is perhaps, not the greatest use of emotional bandwidth or time.
Also I've seen this happen and like, there comes a point in this spiral where even the biggest numbers imaginable will not fulfill a person who's stuck in this spiral. Think thousands of comments, four or five digit kudos counts, dozens of comments per chapter. None of it actually fulfilled them. They spent so much time obsessing over when to drop a chapter to get the maximum amount of "engagement" that it really sucked all the joy out of like, even getting comments at all. Or writing. Which sucked!
I'm a big proponent of hoarding those good feelings you have about your own work whenever you can, and not letting those good feelings be dictated by stuff you can't control, like other people reacting to it in some way, which is yes, easier said than done.
Overall, sending you a hug Nonny, because I think we all get this way sometimes.
#pinning your hopes about the interaction we get from other people which is necessarily going to be fickle#and have nothing to do with quality or how much work went into a creative endeavor#is going to make you miserable#asks and answers#like I think when people say “oh you shouldn't care about comments/kudos���#they really mean#but the first one is easier to say bc it's cool you know.#anyway I think the best thing I've done for myself is to like#1) get friends I can ramble to#and 2) convince myself that any fic I put on ao3 is going to get myself very excited#maybe two tumbleweeds#this way I am always pleasantly surprised when someone else shows up to my rarepair party#like “OMG A PERSON! WOOOOOO”
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girl what yoshiden fic is your favorite? i need recs.
anon you're lucky i'm in a magnanimous nicey mood, i was gonna gatekeep this fic till the end of time but here. i think there was a point in time where i would read this every single day just to study the writing... definitely one of the strangest things i've ever read. it feels exactly like a fever dream. the deep mundane insanity of an all-consuming crush... the author is so amazingly skilled and they have a few other fics i absolutely adore including this other yoshiden fic which is really more of a denji character study than it is a ship fic.
i've read other things in their tag and enjoyed them enough though not enough to recommend. once i'm in a yoshiden mood again i'll go through more of the tag. if you happen to read doujin, i highly suggest you read this one. though fair warning i'm super into eroguro type manga/doujin so if you get squicked out easily i'd skip it <3
#i don't think it's that bad but if ur not used to that kind of stuff it might be intense#idk tho i don't really have a gauge for these things anymore skdhfsf#that other fic by the author is an omegaverse fic WHICH I DIDN'T KNOW until i read a comment that mentioned it#like it was just that good & seamless that i didn't notice. i scrolled back up and there it was the fucking. abo dynamics tag#it might have been one of the first abo fics that i'd ever read in its entirety? i was telling my friend about it#i was like 'he kept taking these pills? maybe some advanced antidepressant biotechnology idk' CONSIDERING WHAT HE GOES THRU IN THE SERIES#that was when i learned what heat suppressant pills were#anyway have fun!!#please come back and tell me what you think <3
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there is truly something in the air abt getting my first hate comment on breaking patterns/mending threads two years after i finished writing it, and that it happens to be during one of the worst periods of my life
#don't even know what to tag this as#it's not personal bc arguably it's what this blog is for in the first place#but i don't want it showing up in my fandom tags#i don't even want to mention the comment itself bc it's not on them for being upset that i ended it the way i did#but there is something so triggering abt phrasing it as being 'disgusted'#about something very emotional that i honestly relate more to today than i did when i wrote it#if it feels like that whole fic was a projection of certain emotions#it probably was#a dissection of what i write about vs my personal life draws very clear emotional similarities#i've grown a tough skin abt legitimate criticisms on my writing#in fact i genuinely like being told the ways in which my writing is shit#so that i can improve it#but something abt this being abt the fic being too depressing#and having hope but not necessarily happiness#and having that relate to disgust abt the way i presented something that contains emotions that i have felt#and continue to feel bc life is a fucking nightmare and yeah i relate to the impoverished fucking asshole with the desire for affection#it's exhausting to experience this sort of thing even in a fandom space#where expressing my feelings is still not realistic or palatable enough#i get that people have triggers but i put trigger warnings in every single chapter#and you can't put a trigger warning in a comment#or know that i'm having a particularly bad time#it just reminds me why i stopped actively participating in fandom anyway#like i said. triggering
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a minute of silence to my skills to estimate how long a project is ever going to take
#my google calendar and Carl bot (and my friends) have been kind enough to inform me today was the estimated posting date of heist au#suffice to say that is not happening#it would have been rad to make a habit out of the co-occurrence of starting a new job and starting to post a finished WIP but alas#that will not be happening for a while longer#I have no idea when will I find the time for writing between two jobs and the big bang but. we'll work something out.#but hey it's good to give your projects breathing space so your brain can do the work in the background and solve the problems for you#I'll probably need to go back and revamp the whole last chapter I've been working on#but I'm still too sick and jet lagged and sick to be thinking about that so I'll consume some more media in the meantime#and complain about how bad the fic I'm listening to is. like god it's supposed to be so romantic and cute and he's literally#depriving her bodily autonomy and her friends support him I want to leave a strongly worded comment so bad#I will not be doing that but god it's so awful I should have stopped listening to this fic long ago. so that's a lesson learned.#put the fucking fic down there's plenty of stuff that's going to be better#hot take I sure no one saw coming sometimes things that are popular are actually bad#anyway have some stream of fucking consciousness /ref to another fic I'm fighting hard to keep discontinued#I know I won't like it why is this so hard#heist au should have been posted today based on maths btw. maths I did wrong for the first time which means it should have been posted#a year ago really#not like I have the proper structure to do a heist au daily#but it would have been fun to post the first chapter on the exact day it takes place. idk just for flavour#does all this make any sense? hardly. this is a diary entry and my two braincells are firing random thoughts at each other#that's fine though. it's all fine. here have some popcorn to go with all this nonsense 🍿🍿🍿 <3#(and also all the drama in the new shadow and bone season. ugh it's so good I love Wesper SO. MUCH. or just Waylan. and Nikolai.#he's my blorbo assigned at first relevant information. relavant information: he's my friend's blorbo#but gods he's so my type it's scary. of course I'll have him as my blorbo. of course of course!#*puts him on a shelf next to Adrien Draco and Hunter*#*steps back to think before putting Waylan there too and sitting Zuko on the far end*#war crimes look so good on them :3#miaing#heist au
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tell me why i'm considering opening the doc and writing fanfiction during my lunch break. ON MY PHONE
#talking tag;#totp tag;#i've been meaning to make a tag for the fic so. there#ok if anyone is curious (probably not but like. i like talking about these things) i split the fic in sections in my head#so every ''kimberly finds her father in blah blah'' is a section and that's how i keep track of them#so chapter 1 had sections 1-3 and chapter 2 had sections 4-5#and chapter 3 will have sections 6-7. it has to. for structure reasons#but section 6 is a very important one and she's at like. 8.5k words at the moment???? and i still haven't gotten to the last scene#OF THE SECTION. THEN THERE'S ANOTHER SECTION#which should hopefully be shorter (around 5k or less is my guess) because fewer things happen but. god#we're looking at a 15+k word chapter. if you're reading the fic hopefully you like long chapters cause!!! it'll be a long one!!!!!#also i am once again pointing out that if you're reading the fic and have absolutely anything to say about it PLEASE tell me#i love talking about this fic she's my child that i created. she's like a clay sculpture to me#i do mean to reply to ao3 comments but i'm shy 😭😭😭😭 but i reread them all a billion times and cry about them every time#i'm still thinking about the lengend that dropped that page long comment on chapter one. king (gn) if you see this i love you#when i reply to comments yours will be first. know that you have me and nat's infinite love forever and always.#truly i hope you like it and cand find peace in it. lord knows we all need it#well. anyways! i think i might edit the doc i'll see
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7, 22, 27, and 38 for the writing ask game, if you don't mind! :D
(ask game from here)
7. What is your deepest joy about writing?
best part about writing is i can just write the most self-indulgent shit ever and then i read it back later and i'm like hell yeah this is exactly what i'm looking for! i'm not kidding i frequently go back through all my documents rereading all the concepting i wrote like it's a little bedtime story. no one can scratch my brainworms better than me fr! ☝️😀
22. How organized are you with your writing? Describe to me your organization method, if it exists. What tools do you use? Notebooks? Binders? Apps? The Cloud?
mm i'm fairly okay about the organization of my writing stuff. after i got my first laptop, all of my writing has been on computers and kept in my google drive. i'm actually considering making another account to transfer all my stuff over so my personal google acc has more space kasjdfkjsdj
i love making so many folders and color coding in there though. i'm planning on retitling all my fic document stuff in a certain way to make it easier to find them, but i don't know what way works for me yet. there a quite a few documents that are out of place because it's either there's not enough of the same-fandom documents to make a folder or i just don't know how i wanna organize it yet. reorganizing is a process i have not had a time for recently hehe
if you're talking about actual writing, i have a couple fics where i make a separate document for the outline i wrote and switch between the outline and the draft, e.g. my docs "[revalink] crystal snow draft" vs "[revalink] crystal snow outline". usually i do this because the way i wrote it in the outline conveys the exact emotion or image i want and use that as a reference while i write the draft. also it's just fun to see my own brain on display! otherwise i keep one huge document for each ship where i braindump my ideas onto, e.g. my doc "_revalink concept reservoir" and then just add headers/outline in the document. the revalink concept document is currently 80 pages long LMFAOKDJFDJK but it's a bit messy at the moment bc i've been copy pasting a lot of stuff in there
27. Who is the most stressful character you’ve ever written? Why?
hmm of the fics i've properly finished and uploaded, i don't think i've ever actually been stressed writing a character KDFHKDJFD i've mostly written soft cute self-indulgent stuff so it's not too difficult to write them being soft.
i guess what i'll say instead is i actually had a difficult time in general writing the 'like crazy' fic. most of the premise and style of the fic was something i had a hard time conveying, particularly writing link's character in that first half. i try to get in the heads of my characters when i write and figure out what they would do and why they would do it based on what i know about their character. and it was just. really hard to write link in the self-indulgence of what the vibes/lyrical meaning of the song 'like crazy' was while also keeping him within the boundaries of the character i perceive him as.
if anyone else reading this has some time to spare, you can read 'like crazy' here or the link pinned on my blog! it was my revalink week d7 fic hehe 🤍
38. What is something about your writing process YOU think is Really Weird? If you are comfortable, please share. If you’re not comfortable, what do you think cats say about us?
i wish i could tell you something outright insane or outlandish but i can't 😔 my writing process just consists of me laying in bed with my laptop and youtube on my switch hooked to the tv playing videos while i stare at a google doc for a couple minutes until the words come to me, rinse and repeat for as many days as needed until the fic is edited and finalized.
maybe the weirdest thing i've done while writing was either laying down on my side in bed like. semi-fetal position but arranging myself in a way where i could still type on my laptop, or when i got up to lay down and cuddle on the floor of my room with my dog for a little bit to take a break from writing. sorry for the boring answer 🙏
#ask#ask game#iridescentgleam#all i really do is rot in bed to be honest i need to get out of the house more often#other big joy about writing is when people comment on my work losing they fucking minds#i still think about shen's comment on my first revalink fic every day#i hope i can replicate that reaction again someday#the eepies and spoingles and bingos Like u were so real for that#i considered posting a pic of what my google drive looks but i felt like i was overdoing the question atp KDJFHDJHKF#i'm a little sad that 'like crazy' didn't get as much attention as i wanted it to since i worked so hard on it#but it's ok i love her and she's still a beloved child of mine 🤍#cats think we're big dumb goofy idiots but adore us anyway btw in case you wanted to know
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as much as it's fun to write and I'm fairly good at it I kind of hate the way when I add any comedy into fic that's the only thing readers focus on :/
#vent#still upset about a time like two years ago when i wrote a chapter that literally made me cry and the only comment i got was haha sex joke#or like. the end of the fic I almost deleted about ten times and still don't know if I really want it up or not and finishing it was such#a big accomplishment for me. 'did you change the name of the fic'#yeah I added one word anyway thanks for not really noticing ig#why isn't my zoloft working 😭 first my panic attack last night and the 'delete all internet presence' intrusive thoughts tonight???#bitch all you're doing is making me gain weight and have fucked up dreams. i want lexapro back
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Found Gojo/Ijichi art. All is good in the world
#The chokehold they have on me is unexpected lol#I was thinking just a few days ago that Gojo/Utahime was growing on me in earnest beyond the art and fics#even though it definitely came from that with how looking for Utahime stuff almost necessarily takes you to Gojo#But yeah Ijichi/Gojo still are it for me here haha I felt like a genoma soldier in mgs when I saw the art. Could feel the ! pop over my head#I could have done a silly little dance#I don't know. It wasn't even romantic truly? Or not explicitly? I love when art does that. For some reason it moves me so much#There's this comic in which Utahime Shoko and Ijichi all feel Gojo's absence through the silence he left behind#instead of being his annoying self asking for sweet or teasing or joking around and it left such a big impression on me#And there's another one in which Utahime is doing just something work related and suddenly she notices how quiet it is#How strange the silence#Smiles softly because it's comfortable. Because it's better. But it doesn't feel better. It doesn't feel good.#Her smiling face and tilting head thinking 'Oh. It's so quiet. How strange' doesn't feel positive at all and that too isn't exactly ship art#but it too moved me to the bone and left a big impression on me#Ship related art with Gojo as one of the parties I love when they include Geto's absence somewhat. There's one in which Gojo's talking#with Geto and iirc Geto teases him about how he doesn't look happy at all about finally getting Utahime to agree to a date with him#and Gojo makes some comment about how it's all for nothing because there's an uncrossable line between them. A separation#That they're bound to break up or something so it's not truly worth it to make the connection#And then you can see Gojo is actually alone and Geto was never there. He just knew him so well he could make up what he would have said#And damn was that good#Same with that one first fic I read back in June. It was Gojo/Utahime but it was in great part about Geto's abandonment of Gojo and Shoko#It started and ended that way#And it drove me nuts haha so good#Anyway... I don't know. I love when artista exploit that aspect of the characters mourning Gojo in their daily routines#Ijichi checking if there's still sweets in the car. Shoko double checking some rooms. Utahime musing about how quiet it is without him#It feels so... so true to life. How it never ends. How at times memory plays tricks on you and for one instant you almost forget#You almost expect the other person to appear. And then the absence feels bigger and unbearable again#Like living it all over again#Oh it's true. I don't need to keep sweets in the car anymore#It's true. He won't ever be in this room again nor will he ever be the one opening the morge's door#He won't be making noise or interrupting me anymore. I can't even say it's bothersome yet it is. What do I do with this silence I have left?
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feeling bad again 😧
#egg boils#i was reading that japanese writers hoshimina stuff and they kept saying they felt burnt out bc of how small the audience was and like . Oh#my god i get it i get it nodding emoji bc there’s only so much you can write for urself…#i think at this stage i’m just so in my head . but realistically by now i should be accepting that kn8 anime has ended. no ones actively#looking for hoshimina stuff because they aren’t pushed past the tachikawa base raid anyway. so like. Stop Hoping#idk why i think people will keep reading or looking for hsmn (Or worse. nrmn) when there’s no reason for people to so#deep breaths. i’ll just do what i want to do.#maybe i should disable ao3 notifs#or just let it pass… i think maybe i should quickly upload all the chapters for nrmn instead bc i keep Expecting things and i don’t like it#bc i always end up with greater disappointment#:/#the thing is im rly clinging onto this hyper fixation and writing so much bc i know i won’t be able to when i land a job. and thats def#happening minimally in september#i hope so anyway#so i want to create as much as i can because very soon i won’t have time for Anything but#i’m just so sad#idk anymore ughhhhh#i did have fun. but maybe i should just let this go.#the worse part is that the hsmn fic im writing rn is genuinely! going! i’m not forcing myself or anything but idk i’ve really started#placing too much like. Emphasis on recognition i guess?#i need to remind myself that the reason i managed to churn out 43k for hsmn at first was solely for myself too#i never expected anyone to read it. so i need to maintain those expectations#i truly love all the people who consistently comment on my fics and new chapters but i don’t expect people to keep up with it especially#knowing kn8 isn’t a Big Thing anymore#so i’ll need to live with the fact that i will Not get new things new comments and whilst i love seeing them and replying to them. That’s#fine. because when i was writing for myself the only person who was reacting was myself#and that’s fine!!!!!!!!!#ugh#i can do this.#just until it naturally phases out. there’s so many things i want to create still
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