#anyways turning in to the Glass Onion while i do work

[mayflyuniverse]

[ozzgin]

Yandere! Yakuza x Reader (V)

In a rather unlucky turn of events, you find yourself kidnapped for being in the wrong place during a gang war. Worry not, your yakuza boyfriend is at your service. Yet another bloody reason not to mess with him.

Content: female reader, organized crime, violence, gore, obsessive behavior

[Part 4] | [Yakuza Masterlist]

"Damn it!"

The scarred man throws another tile into the pile, clicking his tongue.

"I gotta say, you're pretty good for a foreigner." A second man with an eyepatch remarks, carefully inspecting his set before retrieving a tile of his own. "Pung."

You take another greedy sip of the cheap sake and slam the little cup back on the table.

"Kind of inevitable to learn mahjong when your only friends in this country are yakuza." You look up towards your captor with a frown. "You guys ever heard of board games or something?"

"Try to explain new rules to this dumbass!" A third man angrily pours himself another glass, pointing towards the first. "Fuck, I could iron clothes on that smooth brain of yours!"

"Fuck off, you're not any better." The scarred man continues his turn with furrowed brows. 

"If I were you I'd keep quiet about being pals with the yakuza. They'll question you, too, after the office guy. Don't make it worse." The man wearing an eyepatch mentions in a lowered voice. The table suddenly goes quiet.

"When is he coming out?" You ask hesitantly, bile pooling in your mouth. You already suspect the answer.

"He's not. Bodies are discarded through the back entrance." He pats the ash off and takes another drag off his cigarette. 

You swallow. 

Being involved with the Triad was not part of your new year resolutions, yet here you are about to be interrogated by the local Chinese syndicate. At least the lackeys have taken pity on you, a poor civilian caught in the middle of their rivalry. Hence the fake sense of normalcy as you chitchat at the mahjong table with a cup of sake to ease your wrecked nerves. 

"I'm guessing they won't be as friendly back there." You nod towards the door, where they took your work superior several hours ago. 

"No." 

That's all you get and you can only smile bitterly. Huh. You wonder if this is how Daitou's victims feel, helplessly waiting for whatever is brought upon them. Having to watch him unwrap his tool belt, stuffed with rusty old tools littered in blotches of dried up blood. Pondering his questions while he eyes the row delectably, hovering his hand over the potential ways to loosen up the tongue.

Would they torture you, too? Hopefully not. It should be rather obvious you're just a mere civilian. Then again, if your work superior mentioned anything about you being Daitou's girlfriend...He's never told you anything downright incriminating, but it'll be hard to convince these fellows that you truly are clueless.

Maybe they'll let you go if you offer your finger as a token of peace. Your forehead wrinkles at the thought. Isn't it more of a Japanese custom anyways? And if they say yes, then what? Do they provide you with the required utensils or are you expected to improvise on the spot?

You remember one of Daitou's seniors describing the process in great detail during the Christmas party. You had asked him about it, purely out of curiosity, and he certainly delivered almost more than your stomach was able to handle (Daitou scolded him later for telling you too much). You take the tatami mat and preferably wrap it in cloth, to soak up the blood. Any sharp blade will do, but traditionally you'd be offered a proper tantō that can easily slice through the bone. Obviously you want to cut as little as possible, so you still have some functionality remaining. Right above the joint. You must put all of your body weight into the thrust, otherwise the cut won't be clean and it turns into a mess. 

Hell. You wipe the cold beads of sweat that have formed on your face. You can barely chop an onion. Maybe one of the gangsters has enough experience and goodwill to offer to do it for you. Then you only have to clench your teeth and prepare for the blow. It can't be that bad. Surely the shock will be too great, and your brain won't even register it. Before you know it, they'll dip your hand in ice and rush you to someone fit to perform the aftercare. Yeah. That should to the trick. 

"Hey, foreigner. It's your turn."

"Leave her be, can't you see she's pale?"

You glance up and notice the men looking at you expectantly. They've already showed you plenty of kindness from the moment they shoved you in that black van with the rest of the office workers. Perhaps you can rely on them one final time. You suddenly bow, head pressing against the table. They're somewhat startled by your gesture. 

"I'm deeply sorry to ask, but might any of you be knowledgeable in blades?"

"H-huh? What for?"

You ceremoniously slam your hand onto the table, rattling the mahjong tiles. You struggle to let the words out, but try to maintain a straight face, picturing Shozo Hirono's cool attitude when he performed the deed himself in Battles without Honor and Humanity. 

"Would your Boss be satisfied with a yubitsume? I cannot offer anything else of use."

You feel a harsh hand smack against the back of your neck and you cough, taken out of your focus.

"Dumbass! What the hell are you talking about? Why would our Boss need the finger of a civilian, and a woman on top of that? 笨人!" The man with an eyepatch is red and flustered as he scolds you. The other two are holding back their snickers, amused by the scene.

"Let her! I have a knife on me right now." The scarred man comments with a grin. "Whaddaya say, kid? Or have you changed your mind already?"

"A man never goes back on his word." You bark and straighten your back, crossing your arms imposingly. 

The eyepatch man smacks you again and the other two begin clapping, terribly entertained by your tomfoolery. 

The spectacle doesn't last long. Within seconds, you jump out of your seat at the sound of rapid gunshots and scattered, erratic shouts.

Daitou bows before his Seniors and mumbles a polite, monotonous greeting. It's highly unusual to have the Lieutenants gathered at the office like this. Kazuya is fidgeting in his seat, Boss is away on a trip. What else could require everyone's immediate attendance? He makes his way to the blonde man and drops himself on the sofa, awaiting the details. 

"Wakasugi has been taken."

A chaotic murmur ensues. 

"He's been making offers for a building in a neutral area. That's where the Chinese sell their drugs and they claim it to be their turf. I hear some of our newbies got caught dealing that shit as well. Boss has been on their throats for some time now and this is their way to say fuck you."

Ah. More gang rivalry drama. Daitou presses his lips together, trying his best to hold back a yawn threatening to escape his mouth. Hopefully they'll leave him out of it, he has a date planned with you and he'd rather not show up reeking of rotten flesh. 

If you get kidnapped, think of yourself as already dead. The Yakuza doesn't negotiate. They just get their revenge tenfold. Unless it's someone important, like the Boss himself, the honorable way is to die without betraying your Family. 

"Just put a few bullets in them. Should teach them a lesson." He says while stretching. 

"Yeah, we're sending Oota and his men to deal with it. Just be on the lookout." One of the Seniors responds. 

"Still, the fucking guts on them. To show up at the office, right before our eyes-" Another man cries out, frustration in his voice.

"What did you say?" 

Kazuya flinches. He knows where this is going and he glares at the outraged yakuza, trying to silence him. Sadly he doesn't take the hint.

"Right? They just waltzed in, shot some of our guys and took Wakasugi and whoever was nearby. Heh, what are they gonna do with a bunch of office assistants? Extra weight to carry to the dump."

"Enough!" Kazuya's exasperated yell causes everyone to quiet down.

There are several confused looks being exchanged before everyone's eyes eventually rest on Daitou, now staring ahead motionless. Didn't his girlfriend work at that office? The Senior giving out the initial order has realized the mistake. He quickly clears his throat and is about to speak, but Daitou abruptly stands up and heads for the door.

"Oi! I said we're leaving it to Oota. This isn't your job." 

He tries to repeat his words with confidence, but his voice falters towards the end when faced with Daitou's massive frame. Particularly the barrel that's now pressing into his forehead.

"Mind your fucking business or I'll kill you right here." Daitou threatens.

"D-don't think Boss will help you out of this one, brat. If you go, you're disobeying your Senior."

The tall yakuza smirks mockingly. 

"See if you can run for Boss with your skull split open, bitch."

Kazuya slaps the gun aside and steps between the men.

"Just let him go. I'll take responsibility." He pleads, his friend already slamming the door behind him. 

Once the aggressor has left, everyone exhales discreetly in relief.

"He'll get us in trouble with the cops." The Senior retorts to the blonde in a berating tone.

"What else do you suggest? You know there's no way around it if he's pissed."

No one replies to what seems to be an universally agreed upon truth.

He blows out the smoke and crushes the cigarette under his foot. Fuck. He needs to calm down. They most likely haven't killed you, but if they laid a single hand on you...He's blacking out again. Whatever blinding rage possessed him back in his youth, when his Boss got wounded, would now pale in comparison. His ears are ringing and his vision is foggy. He can't even recall how he made it to their building. Or how he got past the guards. Although that one's easy to figure out, judging from their twisted throats. 

He checks his rounds one final time and kicks the heavy metal door open. Only about a dozen of them, but no sign of you yet. Should take a minute. It is time for him to pay his respects. 

"What the fuck was that?" the scarred man swiftly takes out his weapon and knocks the stool over with his foot.

If it is who you think it is...Your face twists in fear.

"Listen, you've been nice to me so I don't want to see you dead. Could you...could you leave, please? It might be someone I know and I promise you there's no point in fighting back."

The noticeable quiver in your speech might lead one to believe you're awaiting your executioner, not your savior and boyfriend. But you've seen Daitou angry and the ordeal flooded the very marrow of your bones with terror. Naturally he could never be upset at his darling for any reason, ever. Whoever poses a threat to you, however, can't say the same thing. You remember trying to pull him back from a random drunk that had groped you during an outing, and he tightly gripped your jaw with a bloodied hand and nearly ordered you in a ragged growl: "Hey. I said I'll be done in a moment. Be a good girl and close your eyes." 

Thus, from experience, you know he'd never listen to your pleas. Maybe if he was lucid enough, but not in this manic state. The man wearing an eyepatch scans your expression attentively. Your worry is genuine and the other room is gradually becoming quieter, but not in a way that'd inspire him confidence. He certainly doesn't feel like dying today and there's nothing honorable about throwing yourself into a senseless battle. He nods at the other two men and he asks you one last time if you'll be fine by yourself, to which you shake your head vehemently. Please go away already. 

The final obstacle crumbles under Daitou's weight and you fiddle with your glass, alone, at the mahjong table. He seems to be taken aback, and once he confirms you're not in any pain or discomfort, his demeanor switches within an instant. 

"Where's everyone?"

"They ran away."

"Just like that? And left you here?" He stares at you, baffled.

"Maybe there's some still in the back. These ones left because I asked them to."

He approaches you, still bewildered and confused. He looks like a lost dog.

"What? They were nice to me and I didn't want you to kill them. You never listen when I tell you to stop." You huff, pouting and folding your arms.

"Sorry. I got a little bit anxious." He kneels before you and extends a hand apologetically. "Friends again?"

"Wash your hands at least, I don't want to know what organ remains you have stuck through your fingers."

He chuckles and wipes the palm against his shirt. You follow his movements and notice the bullet wounds near the ribcage. This madman. You speedily bend to his level and remove his jacket to inspect the injuries.

"Christ. Take off your shirt and let's at least stop the bleeding before we leave. How the hell can you still stand with all these holes in you?"

Daitou unbuttons his shirt obediently and you try to wrap it around his abdomen. You notice the thick, wide scar crossing his stomach, presently smeared with blood. Either his or someone else's. 

"Now that I think about it, how did you get this scar? From a gang fight as well?"

"Oh no, I got this in prison. I was supposed to serve many more years, but one of the Seniors rang and said Boss needs me for something. They were in talks with the police chief to maybe bribe my way out. 

But I felt terrible knowing that Boss would be wasting money on my mistakes. At the time the place was overcrowded, so I figured they'd let me out for medical emergencies. So I cut my stomach open and they counted it as a suicide attempt." He responds with a proud grin. 

You grimace a little at the mental image. 

The cloth has been tightly, albeit clumsily secured around his gashes and you both get up. It occurs to you that throughout this mess you haven't feared for your life once. It feels like Daitou is always there to get you out of trouble. Despite his unorthodox methods.

You gaze up at him and notice the prosthetic eye has rolled inwards, so you adjust it slightly with your finger. He follows your romantic gesture with a quick peck on the lips. 

"You'll get yourself killed one day." You whine, tired.

"And leave you alone? Never. You're stuck with me for life."

He flashes you a wide smile and pats your head.

"Can we still go on that date?" The yakuza suddenly remembers, guiding you as you zigzag your way among fresh corpses.

So he hasn't forgotten. A faint blush dusts your cheeks.

"Sure, but I'd like to have a bath first."

"Then let's have one together." He suggests cheerfully, completely unbothered by whatever just happened.  

Tags: @yandere-city2 @lokiofasgard12 @zeniiis @lucienbarkbark @channelinglament @your-next-daydream @bath1lda @murder-hobo @zanzie

[nyxindustries]

Lock Down | Tony Stark

Fandom: Marvel Cinematic Universe

Pairing: Tony Stark x Reader Insert, T.S x Fem! Reader x Older x Younger Characters, Tony Stark x Y/n! Reader

Word Count: 2,000+

Warnings: 18+ MINORS DO NOT INTERACT, SMUT, Dom! Tony Stark,Sub! reader, Rough Sexual Intercourse, Explicit Language, brief smacking, ‘Daddy’ Name calling, semi-Slow burn (not really), Kinky Sex, Hair pulling, Scratching, Explicit Sexual read, Unprotected sex (Wrap it before you tap it!)

| Masterlist |

Overriding the passcode to the lab since your lovely boyfriend Tony Stark officially locked himself in the lab because of stress with a new Iron Man suit.

The doors open to the lab as you step into the cold lab you see in the one single spotlight on above a hunched-over man on the table mumbling to himself as it looks like he’s trying to assemble part of a new Arc Reactor into the Iron Man suit with holograms all around him to help his work.

Setting down the tray of Tony’s favorite food on his desk that’s filled with little gadgets that you assume are new because you’ve never seen them before.

Quietly walking up to him as much as your heels allow as you stand behind him watching him build and solder a piece of metal together. It’s fascinating to you that Tony can get so lost in his work and look so beautiful while doing it, so laser-focused in his eyes with his eyebrows scrunched inward because he’s trying to make sense or putting together pieces of information in his mind, the wrinkles that appear on his forehead as his face goes relaxed.

Clearing your mind as you watch Tony's hand move to an object and your hand quickly covers the object as your free left hand snakes up his shoulder.

"Mhmm" Tony hums as he slowly looks at you and he places his hand on top of yours making you smile at him.

"Hi, how are you doing?" You ask gently and Tony gives you a look as his glasses tilt slightly.

"This Arc Reactor is not responding to the suit and I have no idea why…" Tony says quietly to you as you just nod knowing nothing about how all of this works. You're a SHIELD agent, you fight and try to save the world from aliens if possible.

"Anyways, it’s not your problem. What are you doing here?" Tony asks as he turns to you and you hand them the tray of food, which is two cheeseburgers and fries and onion rings.

"To Bring you your favorite food, thought you might need it. Put on a tray to be fancy" You joke with a weird mimic of an upper-class voice in the word ‘fancy’ making Tony smile but he doesn't laugh and he always laughs at your silliness or jokes. That's when you know he’s stressed as you watch him grab a cheeseburger and take a few quick bites as he shoves some of the fries in his mouth before turning around to the piece of the suit.

"…Tony…" you say but he goes back to soldering making you frown as you look around finding the plus as you quickly pull it out of the outlet making Tony instantly look up.

"What was that for?" Tony asks quickly as he reaches for the plug.

"Take a break! Eat something! Stop locking yourself in the lab!" You say him as you throw the plus across the room causing the soldering pen to fly across the table and fall off so Tony won’t touch it.

Tony giving you a wide-eyed look like he always does when he is stressed and when you decide to give him a break.

"Y/n-….Urghhhh" Tony groans out in frustration as he goes to get the tool but you quickly stop getting in between him and the table.

"No. Take a break." You say to him

"Make me! I need to finish this!" Tony says to you but you push him back.

"No, you’re not. Not today." You say and Tony stares at you.

"And who is going to stop me?" Tony asks and you smirk at him.

"I am, So take a break…" you say and Tony stares into your eyes as you stare back and your hands go to him.

"It will be good for you to clear your, Tone…" you say quietly as your hands slowly go underneath his shirt as he looks down at your hands.

"…y/n….I-I… I don’t have the time…I’m on a deadline." Tony says very quietly and you just chuckle.

"A deadline that’s next week…you have time and enough time to take out your frustrations too." You say as your hands skilled in what they do back off and come out of Tony's shirt as they pull your buttoned-up blouse out of pencil pencil-tight skirt, and start unbuttoning the buttons.

Tony watches you as you help you with buttons there and then until your breasts in a beautiful red lace bra are revealed.

"Take a break…it won’t be too bad." You say in the quietness that filled the air.

Tony's hands go to your waist as he lifts you to the lab table quickly. He takes one hand and clears the table with his arm by throwing everything off in one swoop with his arm, not caring about his work.

"You’re right, a break is what I need…Hey, Jarvis…Shut down the lab with soundproof…no one enters." Tony demands from his A. I just chime as the windows, doors, and glass all go dark and black with security screens from within the glass that Tony somehow installed and shut with security locks.

Staring at you as you feel his fingers crawl up your bare stomach now as his fingers hook underneath your bra and chase around to the hooks on the back that he undoes his one shot your bra falling as Tony yanks your shirt and bra off now, throwing them across the giant lab.

Tony's other hand, slides up your thigh underneath your skirt as he feels no underwear causing him to smirk, you planned this. The older man fingers gently caress your pussy causing you to shudder in pleasure for a moment as you hold your lips close so nothing can escape from them.

Seeing that smirk made your breath hitch in the quiet lab as Tony's eyes carefully trailed you up.

"Oh, no underwear…mhm that’s bad, baby girl…what if someone else saw what’s mine?" Tony questions and you just chuckle.

"Trust me, no one did…took them off right before I came in here…" you say with a smirk on your face as Tony grabs your chin tightly almost making your lips pucker as he forces you to look at him.

"You’re a brat…planning this so I can just fuck all my frustrations out on you," Tony says and you just stare at him.

"Yes." You choke out.

"How badly do you want?" He asks

"I want it hard, daddy." You choke out and Tony smirks at you as he lets go of your chin. It's bright red from his fingers.

"What else do you want?" He asks as he sees your hands slip into his pants you can see the growing tension in his pants.

"To please you daddy…" you say confidently as you push Tony back from you as you slip off the lab table completely undoing his pant button and zipper as his pants fall exposing his underwear and underneath with his hard and his growing cock.

Grabbing Tony's shoulder as you turn him around, pushing him against the table as he stares at you going down to your knees as your fingers hook the hem of his boxers and pull them down as a red throbbing big cock leaking precum springs out in front of your face making you smile. Hands grasping his cock firmly at the base as you start pumping him fast and hard making him groan out Tony's hands go to the side of the table to grip onto them as he looks down watching you as you lick your lips.

Sticking your tongue out as you lick one long strip onto his cock as Tony groans more at that sensation of your tongue as your wrap your whole mouth around him as you slowly started bobbing your head up and down on his cock causing Tony to groan out more audible moans.

Hearing his moans encouraged you even more by each one as you started sucking wildly causing Tony's hand to grab a fistful of your hair as your hands went down to hold onto his thighs tightly.

"OH FUCK! How did you get so good at this, baby? God" Tony moans out loudly as you feel him jerk himself inside your mouth making you look up at him. Bobbing your head wildly faster again as you feel Tony thrust his hips into your mouth causing his cock to hit the back of your throat you immediately felt tears well into the back of your eyes but you couldn’t care less about those tears as you for gag as Tony pushes your head into his cock making you gag even more as your mouth made his cock disappear making groan out.

Tony held your head there as your tongue swirled all around his cock and the tip like a lollipop before Tony removed your head and your mouth with a loud pop coming from the suction you had.

"I want you to take all this cum in you…You’re gonna take it, baby." Tony growls as he lifts you by your hair causing you to smile.

"U-…Y-Yesssss, Tonyyy." You slightly moan out as you suddenly feel yourself against the table staring out into the lab as Tony rips your pencil skirt off of you. Tony smacks your ass roughly a couple of times causing you to yelp as he flips you around making you look at him.

Your hands go to Tony's shoulders as he slides right into he lifts into the table causing you to moan out as your free right-hand goes up to his hair and slides through it as you gently pull his hair in pleasure as your left hand and arm go underneath Tony arm and land on his back as your nails meet his back fairly quickly with his second push into you without warning.

Feeling tight hands on your hips as Tony pushes you into his cock as he starts thrusting, pushing your tightly sealed mouth to moan out and your nails dig into his back a bit more.

The thrusts started to pick up even more causing you to moan even more as you closed your eyes still gently tugging on Tony's hair and your nails dragging against his back because you didn’t know what to do with your hairs.

Clenching around Tony tightly causes him to groan as he starts losing himself he puts a hand on your breasts massaging them as he continues to thrust and thrust wildly into you making you a moaning mess, making you get so so so much closer.

“Oh god…I’m almost there..” you moan out, and as you let go of Tony's hair he pulls you up kissing you passionately as you kiss back.

“Fuck….me too…” Tony moans out as she continues to thrusts as they get sloppier, more drawn out as he starts slamming into you harder as his cock starts to twitch in you. Tony slams into you in more time as you start cumming all along his cock he begincumming inside of you quickly causing him to groan out.

Staring at Tony as you smile at him he very slowly pulls out of you making you whimper at the emptiness. Sitting up from the table as you sit on the edge and feel Tony's cum ooze out of you as he watches with a smirk and as he leans in kisses you again as holds you close to him.

“Was that a nice break?” You ask and Tony nods.

“Oh baby, it was perfect.” Tony says as you chuckle softly hopping down from the lab table.

“Wanna take more of a break in the shower?” You ask and Tony smirks softly

“Deadline isn’t until next week…I can make some room..” Tony says with a smirk as you grab clothes and quickly go to the private back way of the lab that leads straight to your bedroom with Tony he laughs while following you.

[springgirlshowers]

hiii i hope you're doing well!! i saw that your requests are open so i wanted to ask you if you could write male reader taking care of clingy!joost while he's sick?

anyway thanks in advance <3

Sick Daze

Pairing: Joost x GN!Reader (no pronouns used!)

WC: 797

AN: i hope you don’t mind that this ended up being GN!reader, since reader is never called by any specific pronouns :p hope you enjoy!!!

What originally both Joost and you thought what was just him being jet lagged, really ended up with him catching a cold.

Once you took his temperature and realized 101° is not being jet lagged. You ushered him off the couch and into your comfortable shared bed.

He had been knocked out there for the past few hours. When you came to check in on him, sitting on the edge of the bed next to him, it took a minute for him to fully wake up.

“Hey, how’re you feeling?” You asked, rubbing his legs over the blanket.

“Mmm. Cold.” He mumbled, pulling the blanket up higher. You frowned at his messy state, hair sticking out all over the place and glasses crooked on his face.

“Here, take those off, it’ll be more comfortable.” You removed his glasses from his face, setting them down nicely on the nightstand. Finally being able to see his soft blue eyes.

“I know what else I could take off to be more comfortable.” He smirked at you, you rolled your eyes playfully.

“Oh my god, you’re sick.” You laughed at his suggestive tone.

“I am! I really am.” He pouted, putting your focus back to helping him feel better.

“What do you want me to do? Do you want me to cut-“

“Don’t.” He stopped you, pointing at you with a weak hand, “Do not make the onion joke. For the love of God, please do not.”

“Okay! Okay! I won’t!” You threw your hands up in defense. “How bout some tea instead? Chamomile?”

“Please. And can you put the honey in it like you always do?”

“Of course, liefje.” You smiled, pushing some hair out his face and then getting up.

“Hey! I’m supposed to be the one calling you that!” He giggled. You just grinned and left the room.

You put all your effort into making his tea the exact way he liked. Pulling the kettle out from the cabinets and waiting for the water to heat up.

Usually joost would just end up making his in the microwave, but he was sick, and you felt bad. And personally, you thought it always tasted better when it was made from the kettle on the stove.

Returning back to the bedroom, carefully holding one of his favorite mugs, which was shaped like the snorlax pokémon.

You held it with two hands, even though the conduction of heat was burning your finger tips.

Joost sat up and smiled, his eyes closing a bit. Gently taking the mug from you.

“My favorite.” He whispered, taking a sip from it and letting out a breath of satisfaction.

You weren’t happy Joost was sick, but you were glad he was finally getting some rest.

He was always taking care of you. Always working so hard. You were worried he was gonna work himself to exhaustion, or that he was pushing himself a bit too much. Joost assured you he was fine and happy doing what he did.

But, if he was happy that’s all that mattered.

He set the cup down on the nightstand next to you, as you began to stand up, Joost wrapped his arms around your waist, pulling you back down and onto his chest.

“Heyyyy come on, stay with me.” He whined.

“I was gonna get you-“

“Stop worrying about me so much. I’m okay.” He nuzzled his nose into the side of your head, it tickled, and you let out a breathy laugh.

“I can’t help it. I don’t like seeing you unwell.”

“I feel perfectly well with you here.” If this was anyone else’s words, you’d roll your eyes and scoff. But this was your boyfriend, so you were allowed to love the cheesiness.

You turned your face to his, lips nearly grazing each other, but Joost moved his head back a bit, you frowned.

“I’m not gonna kiss you, only because I don’t want you to get sick.” You didn’t care, you were most likely already gonna get sick from being around him anyways.

“Then we’ll be sick together, and it’ll be your turn to take care of me.” You smiled, giving him a sweet peck on the lips.

Joost just let out a small hum, swaying you side to side with him.

“You want to lay down?” He asked you, head against yours.

“Yeah, yeah, of course.” You said softly, moving away to tuck yourself under the blankets with him.

Joost shifted farther down, laying his head on your stomach and moving his hands comfortably under your back, letting out a pleased sigh.

You scratched his head, surely the both of you would fall asleep in the next ten minutes like this.

And you did, both felling perfectly well, and smiles on your faces.

[femscottlang]

Kinktober Week One- Formal Wear with Emily Prentiss

Summary- Every year around New Years Rossi hosts a party at this mansion. Every year you help him cook. Every year you all drink too much wine. This year Emily Prentiss wore a suit.

Word count- 1.3k

Warnings- 18+ MDNI, a little bit of exhibitionism if you squint, Oral R! receiving, lil bit of faceriding, fingering, switch! Reader, switch! Emily, sorry about your wine Rossi my bad, Emily in a suit is a warning in itself. 

Authors Note- This is my first time doing kinktober!! I feel like formal wear/ team party is a pretty popular trope when it comes to CM fanfics, but it's popular for a reason. It’s SO GOOD. part two of flustered is coming i promise !! i'm also working on a second part of red blue and black. Anyways, back to Emily.

You had arrived early to help Rossi set up and to be his sous chef, since you were the only one besides hotch he trusted not to cut your own fingers off. The BAU were not known for their cooking abilities. He insisted on everyone coming in formal attire so now you were stuck cutting onions in a raspberry-coloured satin dress and an apron that had “Kiss me I’m Italian.” in large font. You used the back of your hand to brush your hair out of your face, huffing as you prayed that the low ponytail wouldn’t ruin your hair.

You and Rossi were sat at the kitchen table sipping scotch while you waited for the rest of the people to arrive. He cleared his throat “So.” 

“So?” you asked, turning towards him and tilting your head.

“What’s going on between you and Prentiss?” he asked in a sinister tone, leaning towards you. 

“Okay, we are not doing this” you laughed, shaking your head as you felt your cheeks heat up.

“Doing what? You can’t have that much tension with a coworker when you work with profilers. You can’t get away with anything” he chucked, taking a sip of scotch.

“I can’t argue with that, but there's nothing going on between us” You explained with a shrug. 

“Yeah, I don’t believe you.” He said in a sing-songy tone as people started to file in and make their way to you and Rossi. The glass of scotch made your insides feel warm and allowed you to relax. That was until Emily Prentiss walked in. She had one hand in her pocket and her phone in the other. She was wearing slacks, a white button-up with the top 4 buttons undone, an untied tie tucked under her collar, and a blazer. You felt JJ use her knuckle to close your mouth, not realizing you had let your mouth fall open at the sight of her. You smiled nervously at JJ “You didn’t see anything” you joked, waving a finger at her. 

“I won’t tattle on you,” she said with a grin, putting her hands up in defense. 

Prentiss looked around the room before she saw you. She gave a lopsided grin before making her way over to you, brushing a strand of hair away from your cheek, “Happy New Year” She said, only loud enough for you to hear. A completely normal greeting should not feel so private and intimate. Your breath hitched as she placed her hand on your back  “Happy New Year, Emily” You murmured, leaning back into her touch. 

“Alright, Dinner!” Rossi said, snapping you two out of your little world. 

You got off the barstool and went to the dining room with Emily not far behind you. She pulled out your chair for you as you sat down, looking up at her with a raised brow and upturned lips. “I guess chivalry isn’t dead” You joked, adjusting the skirt of your dress. She pulled out the chair to the left of you and sat down. “It will be by the end of the night,” She said, giving you a mischievous grin. You gasped, smacking her leg playfully which led to her grabbing your wrist under the table and placing it on your lap “Behave” she said, patting your knee before resting her hand right above it. 

You scoffed “It’s cute that you think you’re in charge” you hummed before taking a bite of the meal you helped prepare, moaning at the taste. She leaned over to whisper in your ear, tucking your hair behind your ear. “I know what you’re doing. We can play this game but I will win” She whispered, moving her attention back to her plate of food. 

At the beginning of the meal, she would rub your knee, occasionally moving her hand up before putting it right back down to a more appropriate position. That was until after a couple of glasses of red wine. Her hand started to rest further and further up, before earning a subtle smack from you. She chuckled, pouring the last of the bottle into your glass. 

Rossi went to get up before Emily motioned for him to sit back down “I can go get it, it’s no problem.” she said with a polite smile before looking down at you “Will you show me where it is?” she asked, feigning innocence, but you knew better. You sneered at her “Of course” You said, getting up and leading her toward his wine cellar in the basement. The farther away you were from the rest of the team, the closer she got to you. 

“I love this view” she teased, making you cover your backside with your hands “Aww don’t cover up. I’ve seen you much more vulnerable than this” She murmured.

“You are an insatiable woman, do you know that?” you chuckled, shaking your head as you opened the door to the wine cellar. You walked in and began looking around for another bottle. She made her way in front of you and backed you into the table in the middle of the stone room. You reached out and grabbed her blazer to encourage her to get closer. She traced your bottom lip with her thumb before kissing you, gripping your hair, and running her hand up and down your back. She was holding onto you like you would run away if she let go, but her kisses were gentle. Emily was always so gentle. Not because she was afraid to break you, but more like you were visiting her from the clouds. Touching you with the fear that her lips would go right through you. “Up,” she murmured, helping you as you jumped in order to sit on the table. You could feel the cold stone underneath you in stark contrast to her burning hands moving to hoist your dress up to your hips. 

 Her lips moved down your neck, leaving bite marks that you were scared to walk out of there with as her hands moved further up until she reached your core. When she felt that there was nothing between her fingers and your pussy she let out a groan, leaning her head back “Fuck. I must’ve been a saint in my last life.” 

You let out a breathy moan “I didn’t want any lines showing through my dress” You said defensively, gasping as her middle finger circled your clit. You held on to her blazer, burying your face in her neck “Sure, that’s the only reason you have no panties on” she teased before dropping down to her knees, her face centimetres away from your core. You couldn’t help but admire the view, brushing your fingers through her hair as she dragged her tongue lazily up your slit. You gasped, eyes rolling back as you leaned back on your elbow to watch her "If I knew you were wearing a suit, I wouldn't've worn anything"

“Fuck, really? God, you’re so pretty like this.” She hummed, tilting her head “It’s nice to see you put that snarky mouth to use,” You responded as pulled her hair gently, just enough to hold her still as you moved your hips against her face. 

She whimpered, running her hands up and down your legs before gripping your calves to lean in more. You covered your mouth as you felt your high approach, pushing her face impossibly closer. You fell back against the table as she helped you ride out your climax. Your chest heaved, trying to push her away when she didn’t stop “Em please,” you begged, squirming away from her, but she just pulled you back towards her.

She had mercy and stood up, moving to the other side of the table to plant kisses all over your face. “C’mon. We’ve been gone too long” she said, helping you stand and smoothing out your dress. You took off your heels out of fear of falling over after she made your legs practically jelly. "After this, were are going back to my place and I am going to fuck you in this fucking suit of yours." you pushed your heels into her chest for her to carry before grabbing her collar and pulling her out of the room "I have to wear this more often..." She muttered as the two of you made your way back to the dining room where your coworkers sat with smirks on their faces.

“Nothing between you too my ass,” Rossi scoffed "You forgot the wine."

[luluia]

New Years With One Piece Men

Includes-Monster Trio and Ace

Warnings-Make outs, Kissing, and suggestive towards the end

A/n-Second work. PLEASE IM RUSHING THIS

Luffy

It was New Years Eve and every was getting ready. Whether it was Sanji preparing the food, Brook practicing his music for tonight, or Usopp and Franky touching up an extra special surprise for midnight. You and Robin happened to be in charge of all the decorations since Usopp was busy.

“We did it!” You said as all the New Years lights you and Robin set up turned on as you high fived Sanji brought you girls some drinks before delivering one to Nami

“I’m not really in the mood for a beverage right now,” You said yawning “Don’t fall… asleep…” You heard Chopper say to himself barely able to keep his eyes open you were glad you weren’t the only one.

Eventually once it was around 10 pm you guys started to have fun as Zoro was drinking, Franky and Usopp were doing a dance as Chopper joined in, Brook was playing music, Robin and Nami were talking, Jimbei was eating having the time of his life as he gave his thanks to Sanji for the food, And Luffy? He was shoving his mouth full

You decided to step out for some fresh air as you leaned against the balcony staring into the ocean. “Y/n. Why are you out here?” You heard a familiar voice say as you turned around to see your beloved Captain

“Just needed some fresh air. Shouldn’t you be inside having fun with everyone Pirate King?” You asked he wrapped his arms around you “It isn’t fun without you” He said as you felt your cheeks get red you immediately looked away

“I-I’ll go back inside in a few minutes so you should go-“ You said until you felt his head shake back and forth he didn’t seem to want to leave you

“Wanna hangout and talk for a bit?” You asked he nodded as you both sat down on the deck, Luffy’s head resting in the crook of your neck you smiled as he was falling asleep

“Love you. Happy New Year” You kissed his head

“Love you too, Y/n. Happy New…” He snored as you smiled

Zoro

It was New Year’s Eve as you and the other Straw Hats were at a small island celebrating the new year.

“Mind pouring me some?” You said talking to your best friend on board the notorious Roronoa Zoro he didn’t say anything and just poured some do his drink into your cup with a tiny growl

It seemed pretty clear you had a thing for the marimo but you knew he wasn’t one for romance so you never tried anything.

“You didn’t have to if you didn’t want too” You said he rolled his eyes as it was 10 minutes to midnight as some people starting clinking their glasses

“To a new beginning!” You heard some people say as it was now 5 minutes to midnight some people started making out you gagged a bit

“I don’t get the point of a New Years kiss” You heard Roronoa say

“Maybe I could show you” You flirted he scoffed as the clock struck 12 you both clinked your glasses and took a shot and right as you were about to swallow you felt a pair of lips on yours as the wine swished around between both of your mouths

You were shocked before slowly easing into it your arms making it’s way around his neck as his rested on your waist before you both pulled away to catch your breath

“You did show me the point” He said tucking your hair behind your ear as you both continued

Sanji

It was New Years Eve and as tradition you and Sanji always prepared the food together. Much to Sanji’s dismay every year.

You guys have been inseparable ever since you met on the Baratie. Whether it’d be you serving tables or making some food you guys always seemed to be together it was kind of a known thing.

“Hey pass me the onions!” You said as he handed you some you started chopping them into mini squares

“Of course Y/n my sweet!” He said helping you in anyway he can while he prepared his own dishes you two were working hard for the feast later tonight as Sanji also made drinks for Nami, Robin, and of course you

“Sanji can you test the Pasta I can’t tell if it needs more sauce” You said as he took one and bit it

“This is amazing sweetheart!” He said you smiled he had given you that nickname a while back when you two were still at the Baratie.

“I think besides the pastries in the oven we’re good to go” You said washing some plates and Sanji dried them he nodded with a cigarette lit in his mouth you took it and put it in yours

“Been needing a quick smoke” You said finishing washing the dishes but not before the cook’s nose was bleeding like a fountain as he passed out “Chopper! I accidentally did it again!” You yelled as Chopper came running in

Ace

It was New Year’s on Whitebeards crew as everyone celebrated Ace had other plans on how to celebrate…

“Happy New Year Marco!” You said he bowed his head slightly “Happy New Years to you too N/n” He said as everyone was giving hugs so did you until Ace was your last hug of the night

You two hugged “I wanted to be your first but everyone held me back” He whispered into your ear as you blushed a bit he smiled before leaning in to kiss you.

As both your lips connected like a puzzle piece everyone seemed to be celebrating the moment but you could barely hear them. You could sense anything it seemed as if you two were the only ones on Earth at that very moment.

As you both pulled away for air Whitebeard raised his cup “To a new year. And a new couple!” He said as everyone yelled celebrating congratulating you two

“I hate you sometimes” You weren’t too fond of parties so he smiled nuzzling into your neck tired and hung over you sighed before he started kissing your neck sucking on it

“A-Ace. We’re in public-“ You said as he stopped taking your hand and leading you to his room as you both sat on the bed

“I don’t know whether I hate or love you for doing that” You said as he wrapped around your waist “Mmh I’m fine with that if it means getting to have you to myself for the rest of New Year’s” He said you shrugged agreeing as he slowly undid your blouse

[twisted-wonderland-shenanigans]

Hello! I've never sent an ask to anyone before, so I don't know if I'm doing this correctly! But I seriously love your aus, so I just had to try <3

For your monster!au, do you think that there is a difference in the kinds of food they eat between monsters and humans? The kinds of food, seasoning, preparation, how it's cooked, even the degree to which something is cooked. Especially with how you mention in another post about how some species can't eat certain foods.

Like, does Yuu (female pronouns please! Or gender neutral if you prefer) come to their world and have to figure out how to cook with ingredients she's never seen before, or does Yuu just start to cook things in ways the monster bois have never seen or thought of before? Would the boys enjoy it? Would it be safe for them?

Or do you think there wouldn't be much of a difference?

Also, out of curiosity, which species would you say has the most diverse diet?

I seriously love your page! Keep up the amazing work! Stay safe and stay healthy!💙💚😃

Thank you for sending in an ask! You did it correctly, don’t worry c: And thank you so much! I’m glad you love the AUs so much to send something in! ;;v;;

To a degree, the food being cooked in the Monster!AU would be different depending on the species. I know I’ve pretty much beaten the grape incident into grape juice already, but while some may be okay with eating it, other students can’t due to it being toxic (I looked it up, and cranberry wine is a thing. That means Crewel can still enjoy a glass of wine, and it’s possible that the monsters/ghost chefs would use it in cooking instead of grape-based wines!). The same could be said for certain herbs and spices that we take for granted being something that can make them sick or can be just as toxic as grapes, like onions or garlic. Chocolate can still be a thing for some species, but carob is the main alternative that’s available—which means Yuu will still have access to it at least!

There’s also an extra sensitivity to citrus based scents. Using citrus juice to cook something like ceviche for example would be difficult, as not many can even get past the smell even if the taste itself is amazing. Funny enough, there’s actually this one manga I came across called “His Majesty the Demon King’s Housekeeper” that actually touches up on this fact as citric acid is one of the few ways to clean certain stains off surfaces, but most of the cleaning staff in the mansion couldn’t stand the smell of the orange peels until it was turned into a powder form by the demon king. It’s such a cute manga, and has lots of helpful tips too, so it’s a win-win!

If you can’t tell by now, Slice-of-Life manga and stories are my jam. I love when they touch up on things that we don’t normally think about and put a spin on things! >v<

Anyway, as you can imagine, if (and that’s a major IF) we were strictly to focus on the ingredients we know in our world, recipes would have to be tailored to be suitable to each species to avoid causing issues while ensuring that each student has the right nutrients needed to sustain their bodies. This would have resulted in having to find alternatives that are safe for students to enjoy while still being able to ensure safety to avoid severe allergic or otherwise dangerous reactions to having something they shouldn’t.

That would be one helluva menu to try to cater to when you can’t use certain seasonings to flavor things. Good thing Crowley has those ghost chefs to work with the menu, because I certainly couldn’t fathom the mental gymnastics of creating that kind of menu! @.@

But to put it in perspective, it’s like trying to give chocolate to a cat or dog when we have alternatives such as carob as I mentioned earlier. Or how people who are lactose intolerant have almond or oat milk or even goat milk as an alternative, or how there are gluten-free alternatives for those who can’t have it due to celiac disease. Just to name a few examples anyway, since I know there are people out there who have restrictive diets due to health reasons.

Thankfully, these guys aren’t entirely missing out on flavor since in Twisted Wonderland—much like how they have unique flowers and plants such as mandrakes right around the corner—I’m sure there’s no limit to the types of ingredients that can be used to cook with! In fact, I’m reminded of this manga that I’ve stumbled across that I gotta start from the beginning known as “Delicious in Dungeon”. Basically, it’s where the characters are traveling in a dungeon and they not only find monsters and creatures to hunt and eat (not like there’s a grocery store or market inside a dungeon), but also demonstrate how to prepare and cook using the ingredients found in the dungeon as well as the creatures themselves. It just looks so delicious whenever they show the results and what you can do with the extra stuff you can’t eat!

But I digress. ^v^;

This means that Yuu will have lots of new ingredients to try and explore in various dishes, and this also means new opportunities to learn new recipes! Imagine what you’d be able to learn during the Master Chef event too!

So…what happens when you have a female human who has excellent taste buds and a love of cooking and also loves to cook for others? You’ve got a whirlwind of ingredients flying around and waves of delicious smells wafting through the air leading many drooling students investigating the source (and trying to sneak a bite).

Iron-stomach gourmet Grim is the one who gets to enjoy Yuu’s experimental cooking at first. After all, why shouldn’t he be able to enjoy the spoils of his hench-human cooking for him? He’ll try guiding her with his knowledge of flavors and what tastes good, and she learns which seasonings to use for each dish whenever she talks to Trey or Jamil or even Azul. His bragging of being the first to try true human cuisine wound up drawing in the first years, many curious to see her in action while others hoped to try and sneak in a free meal.

Imagine if she cooked two-three meals a day: mini waffles and giant pancakes that are several inches thick? She’s adding various fruits and berries and pairing it with the perfect syrup! Homemade chicken or beef soup? Simmering with noodles boiled to perfection! Roasted pork and beef stew? Veggie stir-fry? Baked fish? Burgers? Pizza??? Nothing is off the table when Yuu is in the kitchen! And don’t get started on the different desserts she could whip up with Trey!

Soon enough, word would have spread around the school about the human’s delicious cooking and it won’t be long before Yuu has visitors around every meal time.

/////

Yuu:*whisking eggs as the rice cooks* “Breakfast’s almost ready, Grim!”

Grim: “Hooray! Omurice cooked human-style~!”

Knock-knock-knock!

Yuu: “Come in!” *pouring the egg into two skillets before looking up* “Oh, hey guys!”

Ace: “Hey, Yuu! Whatcha making?”

Yuu: “I’m making omurice. I asked the chefs in the cafeteria how to make it and…wait…” *narrows eyes* “Did you guys come here just to get breakfast?”

Deuce: *sheepish* “Sorry, Yuu…we just really like the way you cook.”

Yuu: *sighs and smiles* “It’s okay. Next time, just let me know ahead of time so I can prepare more, okay?”

Grim: “Don’t even think of taking my portion!”

Ace: “Aww, is that any way to treat guests, Yuu?”

Yuu: “Grim, be nice.”

Grim: “What?! That’s not fair!”

Deuce: “I can wait my turn. Is there anything I can do to help?”

Yuu: “Could you chop up some more veggies and measure out the rice? Ace and Grim can have the first two, then we’ll have the next batch.”

Grim: “Stop encouraging them!”

Ace: “Oi! As if you don’t eat the food at the Unbirthday Parties!”

Grim: “Oh yeah?! Well I-mfh!?”

Ace: “Mfhg!?”

Yuu: *dusts hands after shoving two meat buns into their mouths* “There will be no fighting in my kitchen, you hear me?”

Ace and Grim: “Yeth m’m…”

/The Next Day/

Yuu: *standing in the doorway with a bowl of pancake batter* “…are you here to socialize or do you want to try some of my cooking?”

Silver: “Fa-I mean, Lilia…decided to cook breakfast today. He wanted to try and cook some old human recipes, but…”

Sebek: *looking mildly nauseous* “I did what I could to protect Lord Malleus, but…human food should not look like that.”

Yuu: “Ah, okay. Come on in. I’ll get another batch ready, so help yourself to the ones on the table! There’s fresh fruit and whipped cream there too.”

/////

I have a feeling that Yuu would be getting a lot of visitors from Diasomnia on days that Lilia does the cooking, and I’m sure she’ll be more than happy to feed them too! 😌

As for the “food bribes”…well, it’s kinda hard to argue with the results. Especially when they can be very valid trades. Yuu wants a specific utensil to make that special treat or meal? You’ll get first dibs on the finished dish!

Oh no, Yuu needs help with this potionology assignment and made too many cupcakes to eat by herself! If only someone could come and help with both…

As you said, there are many possibilities of how Chef!Yuu could take advantage of their knowledge and skill around the kitchen! And before I forget, if I had to choose which species would have the most diverse diet…I would have to say it’s a tossup between the basilisks and the faun and satyr species. Basilisk can essentially eat nearly anything without much issue as their stomach acid is strong enough to even digest rocks and crystals, whereas faun and satyr can eat most any plant and fruit or vegetable imaginable and can tolerate some forms of meat without issue. Though if you really want to enhance the dietary variety possibilities, Epel and Trey would have this in the bag as these two are hybrids of two different species, making them truly omnivorous like humans!

[demonvampire180writes]

It Was Dinner and a Movie

Pairing: Buck/Tommy

Rating: Teens and Up

Trigger Warnings: Mild homophobic language

Word Count: 3,406

Completion Status: Complete

Ao3 Link: It Was Dinner and a Movie

Like one would expect, the bar was crowded for a Friday night, basically every seat from end to end occupied with folks waiting to be seated.

Buck and Tommy wove their way through bodies, Buck’s pinky linked around his boyfriend’s, searching for an empty table. In the far back corner, Tommy spotted a hightop just being cleaned off and, with their linked hands, gestured to it. Buck nodded and made a beeline for it, just as another couple laid eyes on it. Scooting into it Buck cried, triumphant, “This table is ours!” He whooped and Tommy couldn’t help but chuckle as he slid into the seat across from him. It was only a two top so they, unfortunately, couldn’t sit next to each other but that was fine. Tommy preferred looking at the younger boy's face head on anyway.

He was a vision after all.

Smirking, Tommy kept the comment to himself and settled in, leaning back in the chair with his hands clasped on the table. A few minutes later, a harried looking waitress approached them, a tablet in hand. “Evenin’ boys, what can I get cha?” Her accent was thick, made thicker, he was sure, by the bags under her eyes and the messy blond bun with hair sticking out every which was as though it had been thrown up in a rush and hadn’t been brushed smooth in a long while.

“Can we get a pitcher of whatever IPA you have on tap, and do you want to start with a basket of onion rings?” He glanced at Evan who gave him a nod of approval. “That will be all for now, thanks.”

“Sure thing, hun.” She smiled tiredly at them, laid down two generic beer branded coasters, and turned on her heel to serve another table. Both men watched her go.

When she was out of earshot Evan muttered, “Man do I not miss my customer service days. I loved it, but when days were rough they were rough.”

“Oh, so, you mean like your job now?” Tommy asked wryly, eyebrow quirking. His boyfriend leaned across the table and smacked him in the chest with the back of his hand. He didn’t hit him hard but Tommy rubbed at his chest with a pout anyway.

“You deserved that.” The waitress came back then with a pitcher full of dark beer and two glasses of water that she sat down on the coasters. She then placed two empty glasses down and motioned with the pitcher as if to fill them. Evan held up a hand and said, grinning that grin that made a woman’s panties melt, “We’ve got it, no problem. Thank you.” Her shoulders seemed to sag in relief as she placed the pitcher in the center of the table.

“Onion rings should be out soon.”

Tommy held out a placating hand. “No hurry. We’re not in a rush.” She seemed to relax even further, saying no more as she once again turned and disappeared back into the crowd. “Now, do you mind telling me why you think I deserve your abuse?”

“For being a sass master, obviously.”

“Just when did I sass you?” Tommy asked as he filled first Evan’s glass, and then his own, taking a long dreg of it with a smack of his lips to finish. Whatever the waitress had chosen tasted fantastic, though it was on the hoppier side of what he’d usually drink.

He mumbled something under his breath that sounded vaguely like your entire existence is sassing me but he asked anyway, “What was that?”

“Oh nothing.” He sing songed. “I was just saying that being a firefighter is different. We’re not servicing customers, we’re helping people in need.”

“You could argue that customer service people also help those in need.” Tommy replied, unable to help himself. His grin grew at the pout on Evan’s face that stayed even as he gulped down half his beer.

Snorting in a not so eloquent way, Evan replied, “Helping a person whose coupon doesn’t work is not the same as saving one from say… a capsized cruise ship in the middle of a hurricane while your not-yet-hot-pilot-boyfriend saves the day, even making fake mouth static at the fire chief.”

“Oh? Tell me more about this hot pilot not-yet-boyfriend?” His nose crinkled in that adorable way it did when he was teasing as he winked at Evan.

“That’s what you took away from my complaint about comparing apples to oranges?” Evan reached across the table and took one of Tommy’s large hands in between them and began to play with his long, elegant fingers, seeming to not even care who saw.

At that moment, Tommy really registered how much things had changed, even in the short three months they’d been official. Gone was Evan’s hesitation in showing public affection; they held hands when they went for walks; they kissed when they would meet each other at their stations, despite the guaranteed wolf whistles; there was no hesitation in leaning into Tommy anytime he could, just so he could soak up his warmth. Even now, as they sat there, hands together, Evan seemed to tune out the world. Their first date, Tommy had told him that nobody was looking; that nobody had cared. They just looked like two friends hanging out. While that was true back then, now there were definitely some eyes on them - not all of them friendly - and Evan Buckley couldn’t have given any fewer shits.

It made Tommy’s heart swell with pride, and happiness. It was moments like these where he thanked all his lucky stars that he had allowed himself to give this baby bi a second chance. He had the opportunity to show him off just like any other man. It settled some sort of deep, primal instinct in him. The part of him that felt the need to mark, and claim, what he believed to be his. A shiver ran down his spine at the image that thought created, and he had to shove it away before he got arrested for a public indecency charge. Evan cocked his head to the side with a look of confusion. Tommy just smiled and turned his hand over so they were palm to palm, fingers intertwined.

The rest of dinner went as smoothly as one could hope for a busy Friday night - the food came out a little cold, but still edible - and their conversation flowed when they felt a need to speak, and the silences felt comfortable when they didn’t feel the need to fill it. Two whole pitchers of beer disappeared as they finished up, their waitress appearing like magic. “Will this be together or separate?”

“Together.” Evan replied instantly. She didn’t even bat an eye as she rattled off the total. Before Tommy could protest, Evan had pulled out his card and handed it over, grinning smugly as he signed off on the receipt.

“This was supposed to be my treat, Evan.” He couldn’t hide the slight hurt in his voice. This was their do over and that meant him paying for the baby bi that hadn’t even known he’d liked boys until a few months ago. To his surprise Evan stood and came around the table just to drape his arms over his shoulders, wrapping his hands at the base of his neck and playing with the loose curls there. “Evan?” He asked, looking up into his man's eyes seeing as Evan was the taller one at the moment. Tommy felt compelled to put his hands at Evan’s waist, pulling him between his legs. The noise around them disappeared and he got lost in those baby blues until he felt a less gentle tug at his hair. Giving his head the slightest shake to clear it, he returned to pouting.

“Do you remember me telling you that I owed you a beer, and you said, and I quote ‘and you still owe me that beer’?” Tommy nodded, his fingers sneaking under the hem of Evan’s shirt just for that minute amount more skin contact. “Okay well, do you also remember when we went out on that first date I made a total fool of myself and then you snuck around and paid for the check?” Tommy’s cheeks pinkened but he didn’t back down, pushing his plump bottom lip out even further instead. Evan shocked him with a dive bomb kiss, earning him a little baby ‘hmmm’ of surprise. Pulling away he had that crooked little grin on. “Well you’ve kept spoiling me ever since and haven’t given me the chance to buy you that beer.”

“I like spoiling you.” He replied, maybe sounding a wee bit petulant at the idea that Evan didn’t like being ravished with gifts like a dragon gifting shinies to his pretty.

Evan’s body shook with suppressed laughter, the barest snort escaping between his pursed lips. “And I love to be spoiled.” He booped Tommy on the nose, chuckling at the way he scrunched it in protest. “Well I think I’ve thoroughly repaid that debt. So about that movie. You’re not gonna leave me at the curb after telling me I’m adorable again, are you?”

Tommy couldn’t help himself. He swatted Evan’s ass as he pushed to his feet so that he could stare down into his boyfriend’s eyes. “Only if you promise me to behave, you scoundrel.” Oh the way the man’s eyes actually glinted with mischief. “I don’t even want to know what you could possibly be thinking right now.”

Leaning in close, breaths hot against Tommy’s ear, Evan whispered, tone husky, “And if I don’t behave are you going to spank me, Daddy?” An uncontrolled shiver ran down through the pilot’s toes, a certain part of him starting to rally. He had to quickly shove all those feelings in a box or they really would be skipping out on the movies again.

“Evan.” He half heartedly chastised, pushing him away, putting enough space between them that he could no longer feel the heat rolling off of the younger man. Was it hot in here? Sweat trickled down his neck. He rolled his shoulders and then his head, catching it in the collar of his flannel before it could go any further. “At this rate we’ll never be able to catch a movie together.”

“Right at this point in time, I’m not sure I’d be too disappointed if we didn’t.” Evan bit his lower lip and looked up at Tommy through his lashes. Tommy groaned and pointedly turned away so he couldn’t be swayed by those damn eyes. Behind him, Evan laughed quietly enough it was almost to himself. Shaking his head, Tommy reached back, groping until he caught Evan’s hand, this time being the one to lead them through the crowd.

Once outside, Tommy used his phone to call for an Uber. On the way to the theater, the two of them snuggled close together to browse through the movie listings, debating the pros and cons of each one. Tommy, of course, wanted to see the rom-com playing that starred Ryan Reynolds (Evan totally ribbed him about only wanting to see it because a hot man was playing the lead.) Evan, who was woefully uneducated in the way of cinema, wanted something with more action and less narrative.

Tommy, being the great boyfriend that he was, and also because he loved a good action movie himself, caved in the end. Arriving at the theater, the two hopped in line for tickets, Tommy buying two for the most recent Marvel universe addition. Evan thanked him, cheeks turning the most beautiful shade of pink and Tommy couldn’t help but lean over to peck him on the cheek. His face lit up and he wrapped himself around Tommy’s arm, Tommy’s hands stuffed in his pockets.

Although they’d just eaten dinner, Tommy declared that you couldn’t see a movie in theater without popcorn and a soda. It just wasn’t a thing that happened. So the two of them made their way to the concession line, in que behind about five other people. Once situated, Evan pulled out his phone to start looking up both movie, and Marvel, facts. Smiling, Tommy slipped an arm around his back, snaking his hand into Evans left back pocket. Almost subconsciously the man snuggled deeper into him, allowing Tommy to tuck him in tight. As the line moved, Tommy guided him along, allowing him to geek out. He babbled a hundred miles a minute, coming out with fact after fun fact making Tommy grin.

People filed in behind them which Tommy didn’t even register until there was a commotion. A loud voice, male as far as he could tell, made a sound of pure disgust before whining, “Man, these fags are everywhere. Can’t even take my girl to the movie without them all up in my space. Hey, homo’s.” Tommy just rolled his eyes and kept shuffling Evan along. Thankfully the man hadn’t seemed to notice being called out. (That, or he wasn’t exactly keeping an ear out for others' disgust because he’d lived a heteronormative life up until Tommy came along.) Unfortunately the guy didn’t let up. “Hey you faggot, I’m talking to you.”

Sighing, Tommy craned his neck around hoping that, if he gave him what he wanted, the guy would just leave him alone. The man making the fuss was a white guy wearing jeans at least two sizes too big - he had them sagged so far down he basically had diaper butt - and an open short sleeve flannel with a white tank-top underneath. He wore a crooked red baseball cap over his close cropped white-blond hair, Dumbo ears keeping it floating over his skull like it had a trick wire attached. Next to him stood a curvy, but petite, Latina girl that was way out of this dudes league with her thick, wavy black hair she’d pulled into a half-up ponytail, the part pulled up done in two French braids that were tied together to make the ponytail down her back, and immaculate make-up. She wore a gorgeous sunflower yellow crop top that sort of had the peplum look around the bra band area and a slim fitting denim skirt that sat just beneath her bellybutton. While not an hourglass shape, her slightly larger hips and narrower chest made her outfit the perfect image. Even Tommy, a gay man, could appreciate her beauty.

To at least her credit she looked embarrassed for her boyfriend. She grabbed his arm and tried, futilely, to hush him. “Brad, shut up. Leave them alone.” She gave a half hearted apologetic smile to Tommy.

“No, you shut up. I’m sick of these freaks being able to run around free like it’s normal. Are you telling me you think it’s fine, babe?”

The woman blushed but didn’t let go. “They’re not doing anything, just let them alone.”

The man, Brad shook her off and took a step closer to them, brandishing a finger that he jabbed at them. Evan had finally noticed what was happening and his entire body stiffened, his lips drooping into a frown. Tommy’s blood began to simmer, this close to its boiling point. “If y’all wanna do that gay shit do it at home and leave us normies out of your freakiness.”

Oh that was it. Tommy had heard enough of this rhetoric since even before he came out and he was done with it. He could handle the heat, he was used to it, but Evan didn’t deserve to hear this shit. Not on date night. Not ever, really, but that was neither here nor there. Leaning in he pressed a kiss to his boyfriend’s temple before turning his attention fully on the brat thinking he was a man. Other patrons around them shifted uncomfortably. Tommy was a big man, he had a large presence even when he wasn’t trying to, and Brad was (attempting to) exude alphaness. He sneered with disgust as his date stepped back, clutching at her bag, biting at her bottom lip. Not that Tommy necessarily needed her to step in, but it was quite clear that she felt like she’d done all she could to tone the situation down.

“Listen here, and listen close.” Tommy growled, taking just one step towards their aggressor. “I have been dealing with men like you longer than you’ve probably been alive. And one thing I’ve learned about all those men? They are nothing but scared little boys under all their bluster. A limp, cold, hot dog has a better chance of keeping their wives and girlfriends happy because all their yapping is to make up for the fact that they can’t get their girl to orgasm. They bark like chihuahua’s because they know that if men like me went after their girls, there’d be no one left to settle for your weak, pale, ass.”

Brad snarled, cheekbones bright ride with his rage, and tried to lunge but Tommy put out his hand and held him back without breaking a sweat. “How the fuck would you know what a girl wants, huh? You’re too busy fucking boy pussy.”

Tommy grinned with a feral edge and he leaned in a little closer to breathe, “At least I know how to bring my partner to an O. Over. And over. And over again. Maybe check yourself before you start spouting bullshit. As a gay man, I guarantee I still know how to pleasure a woman better than you ever will.” With that he shoved Brad back and he went stumbling until he fell flat on his ass, gaping up at the pilot, mouth flopping like a fish with his loss for words. Flaring his nostrils at him, he turned his attention to his date and asked, “You alright, darling? Sorry for all this fuss.”

She blinked her large brown eyes at him and nodded. “N-no, I’m sorry he ruined your date night.” Her eyes flicked from Brad and back. “He doesn’t know when to keep his mouth shut.” Tommy cocked one side of his lips up in a smirk and winked. Her cheeks reddened as a small smile curved her own lips. After a second, she reached down to pull Brad to his feet, who had been screaming and whining the entire time about her not dropping everything to help him immediately like a good woman.

Tommy couldn’t hear what she was saying, she was hissing at him through clenched teeth, but he had no doubt that things were not going to end on a positive note for him. Finally he turned his attention back to the person who mattered and found Evan staring at him with stars in his eyes. He didn’t have time to ask why because it was their turn to order, they’d held up the line with their scuffle, so it would have to wait.

Once they’d procured their treats and were on their way to their auditorium, Evan grabbed Tommy’s arms and stopped them, turning him so he was facing the man. “I’m so sorry about all that, Evan. You shouldn’t have to hear shit like that.”

To his surprise Evan laughed, long and loud before saying, “Tommy, do you even understand how damn hot you are when you go all feral caveman?” Evan leaned in and captured his lips in a breath stealing kiss, even pressing his tongue in to tangle with a deep seated need. The heat from earlier returned and Tommy really began to question whether they actually needed to see this movie tonight. When they broke, Evan remained close, speaking directly into his ear, “You are so lucky we’re in public right now. When we get home, you’d better start praying because I swear I’m going to make you see God. Over. And over. And over.” He grabbed Tommy’s earlobe between his teeth, sucking before biting down.

Tommy groaned deep in his throat. When Evan leaned back, his face was flushed as he linked their hands once more, leaving Tommy’s regret to grow with every passing moment.

Their first day may have been a total flop but Tommy was beginning to think that maybe it had all been worth it after all. Squeezing Evan’s hand, he looked forward to what their future would bring, five minutes from now, five years from now, and beyond.

He’d found his match and no one would ever compare.

[moonlight-sonata99]

Walk the line

Trigger warnings: domestic fights,talk about addiction, suicide mentions. Loss. Alot of cussing.

No.1

Mikey

Carmy Berzatto x reader

A/n: I love carmy bro - but yea, this is uh..a passion project, honestly. I haven't wrote in a hot minute. But..I feel confident. Btw. This story will focus alot on addiction, not the Reader specifically, though. But her dad.

Slow burn/angst/comedy

The sounds of furniture falling and glass breaking behind the door as it Slams open and her face is red and her chest rises up and down quickly as the man behind her on the floor his cheek red from the hit he received from his daughter as his wife stands beside shocked, unable to move the only sound was them getting their stuff and leaving before making their way out the door they looks back and points their finger at the man who's cheeks are red his left a bit bloody

"Dont fucking talk to me unless you've been sober for a year. you hear me?" They breathe out as their mom calls out to them as they turn their back to their parents and rush away. Only leaving the cries of their mother and their father left on the floor as the sound of the ambulance gets closer and closer. 

That was a while ago.

Since then, i think i've done well. Maybe. Got a job at some restaurant,the boss is cool. The coolest boss I might have had Honestly. Micheal Berzatto, AKA… Mikey, I've known him about… maybe a few months now? It's been a while since I've been "away" from home, anyways yea. Been working at this cool joint called the beef. Everyone feels like one big friend group. Yeah, it's really nice. I got a nice apartment, too. Well, " nice" is better than any other house that deadbeat ever got us.

 Anyways, yeah. I hope you've been well ma. I sent you money with this. Don't try to send it back. And don't let that asshole see you with it.

I'm doing good, So don't worry.

With much love. 

"Hey,speaking of assholes, what's the big deal with this brother?" You ask, looking down at the piece of onion you were cutting as mikey cooked behind you. 

"Asshole? Ooh you mean my brother carmy? " He replies, keeping his gaze on the meat. 

"yeah"

"Well there's a lot to say about him " he breathes out but a smile can obviously be detected in his voice 

"Well then tell me about him genius" 

"hes not your type " Tina chimes in as the rest laugh,

"Thats not- Okay, maybe that's why i asked. But if you really say so, " you reply, shrugging and putting the knife down and leaving the onions to grilI as - you turned to look at him. But he kept his back to you as he began to speak.

"no yeah- Carm… little brother Carmen. he's a chef in some fancy restaurant, nice right? " He admitted, watching the knife gliding through the meat smoothly.

"for real?" you gasped out looking at his back,

"for fucking real."

Remembering when that had happened. Mikey had a smile on his face when he spoke about his brother. Later on, you learned the two weren't on speaking terms. A part of you cursed yourself out of even having the gall to ask about a slightly  sensitive topic, but another part of yourself felt...good to know at least he didn't hate his brother, Who'd want to hate their own siblings? 

You knew better than to intervene.

It was february 21st, as you gathered your sweater, in the corner of your eye, you noticed Michael sitting in his office looking at a small white envelope. 

"Hey, mikey," you guy, as you knocked lightly before entering his office, and he looked up his eyes, meeting yours.

" hey- " he coughed  " hey whats up? " he said, rubbing his nose with the tips of his fingers. 

" I should be asking you that '' you reply, putting on your bag.' You okay ? You've been… out of it these past few days. '' You say, tilting your head slightly.

"Im good" he mumbles out his hand over his mouth as he nods. 

" Okay … if you ever need anything, just call me. Okay?" 

" Gotcha," he says as you nod and make your way outside.

"hey uh be careful " he yells out as you heal out the door and the leans against his office door frame as you turn your head back to look at him.

" Yeah you too mikey" 

Hey ma, me again. It's been a hot  minute since I sent you a message. in terms of like… talking. i just wanted to check up on you. Make sure everything is okay, y'know? i'll be honest. I haven't been doing so well. if were being honest…  I lost a friend. a good friend. Mikey, he Uh… Comitted  suicide. and i don't know how to feel. Well,I feel sad. I spent… all week crying. 

Yea i have brothers, but Mikey felt like the brother I never had.

due to moving so much as a kid, i didn't have any friends.

no girlfriends, boyfriends.

i didn't want any if i'm honest.

but Mikey changed that.In terms of friendship I mean.

i remember when i first met him, i was about to blow him off because he was pestering me about his  restaurant. i mean, i was working for Petes sake. But he was loud,

and i gave in.

after that he let me into his family, albeit made of people working in a restaurant.

you know that thing when Companies say their employees are family and it's usually bullshit??

Yea,Mikey always meant that shit. 

 

Ritchie told me his brothers were coming to take over. I'm not sure how to feel about it . The asshole didn't even come his funeral. Anyway, yeah, that what has been up with me. Sorry for suddenly dumping all of this on you.

i lost a good friend. 

A/n: I really like writing for this series, honestly. Please tell me if you guys want more :]

[plscallmeeren]

A M E R I C A N W O M A N

Jennifer Walters x Reader

Request: Yes

Summary: you (fem reader) love to cook and spoil your girlfriend (Jen). This was a short one sorry :/ have been very busy (six weeks traveling India there's a lot to see)

Warnings: Swearing

Word Count: 600+

You hummed along to 'Glass Onion', singing a few words every now and then when you were sure about what they were. The rice boiled over while you were distractedly peeling tomatoes. "Fuck," you murmured, turning that stove off and wiping away some of the water.

I told you 'bout the fool on the hill, Lennon sang - you thought it was him - instantly making overcooked rice seem inconsequential as you joined in again. The song came to a close as you poured the tomatoes into the pot.

Kadhai Paneer was one of Jennifer's favourite curries, one you loved cooking for her whenever you had time. 'Lucifer Sam' by Pink Floyd blasted through your speakers and you whirled around dramatically when the lyrics began.

Keys rattled in the door and you jumped to attention, cursing under your breath. You knew you should have started earlier.

Before you knew it, Jen's steps were dragging through the apartment, tired eyes scanning the kitchen. She was obviously exhausted from a long day at work, but she smiled nonetheless. "You cooked again? What is that, it smells great... wait." She looked at you seriously. "You didn't."

"I did." You grinned, turning the music down a bit and rounding the counter to peck her on the lips. "Kadhai Paneer, dal, chapatis." You kissed her again, this time on her forehead. "You look beautiful. And tired."

"Such a sweet-talking devil," she cooed, laying her arms around your neck. "Can I help somehow?"

"Forget it. Lie down on the couch and rest. You're my hardworking American woman, after all." You smirked, hearing the song switch to 'American Woman' by Muddy Magnolias. "Do I look like, the step all over me type? I'm a whole lotta grown-ass American woman!"

Jen laughed, pressing her face against your shoulder. "Please don't turn the music down. I'll just watch you from the other side of the kitchen like some creep, okay?"

"Wouldn't dream of having it any other way," you said defiantly, leading her groggy form to the couch so she could collapse onto the plush seating. You gently massaged her shoulders just long enough so that she would relax with a great heaving sigh.

She lay splayed in a star shape, eyes on you relentlessly. Every now and then they fell closed by accident, but mostly her smile infected all her expression.

You waltzed back to the kitchen, spooning the rice and dal into separate bowls, head nodding. She chuckled as you put on a bit of a show, twirling and swaying as you set down plates and cutlery.

Next, your playlist treated you with another Pink Floyd, but a slow one. You calmed your movements somewhat, taking strides that matched the melody as you finally turned the last stove off.

Long you live and high you'll fly

Smiles you'll give and tears you'll cry

And all you touch and all you see

Is all your life will ever be

"I don't know this one," Jen breathed, sitting up slowly, "but it's moving."

"Yeah, I think so," you whispered, sitting down and serving both your plates. "Makes you think, anyway."

Jennifer smiled, sat across. "Thank you for doing this. Now, but also in general. I don't know whether I show my gratitude enough."

"Save your good words for work," you laughed. "I love doing things for you. And if food makes you happy, then food it is."

"Food definitely makes me happy."

"Why, marvelous." She actually giggled, and you had to stop yourself from kissing her over the table. "Bon appetit."

"Right back at you. You're a great dancer, by the way."

"I know," you said smugly, but your insides went all warm and fuzzy anyway.

Jen had some spoonfuls before scooping with her chapati hurriedly. "Oh my God, this is good."

"Always the tone of surprise." She stopped, tilted her head with a look that said 'really?' in a board sort of voice. You loved that look.

[jjsmaybank20]

Hi!!!! It's me again,🦁 Anon. I just looked at Glass onion and can I ask for a request for whiskey x reader. The reader was relaxing in the pool with others, and the moment whiskey comes out of the pool, the Reader literally froze and stared at her. The others started joking or making a remark about it until the Reader took Whiskey's hand and dragged her to her room because the Reader got excited.

Can the end be cute and fluffy?

Thank you very much!!!🥺

Speechless

Whiskey x Fem!Cody!Reader

Summary: Your girlfriend is gorgeous, and never fails to make you speechless.

Warnings: Nothing really, just fluff

Word Count: 759

navigation misc. masterlist

---

When you, your brother, and your girlfriend were invited to Miles Bron’s weekend getaway/murder mystery party, you knew you were in for a treat. Miles never failed to astonish, so arriving at his private island housing his massive complex, you couldn’t say you were surprised.

Miles was an eccentric person, so of course the rooms were assigned based off of chakra. You bid your brother and your girlfriend goodbye, and headed towards your room to get ready for the pool.

You throw on some swim trunks, a bikini top, and a hawaiian shirt to wear over it. You check yourself over, seeing that you look good, and head down to the pool to meet up with your friends. 

Making your way down, you see Lionel and Claire already on the side having a conversation. You approach them, and they greet you warmly. 

“Y/N Cody, as I live and breathe! We didn’t have much time to catch up. How is everything? How’re you and Whiskey?” Claire inquires. You go to answer, but are interrupted by Birdie making her grand entrance. 

“Guys. Lionel and Y/N, you guys are too hot to be scientists. And Claire, you look so cute.” You glance over at Lionel, and then you see Claire flipping Birdie off, making you laugh.

“You just gave Bird the bird, Claire-bear.” You exclaim, making Lionel laugh along with you. Claire then glares at you, hating the nickname you had assigned to her. Everyone in your group had a nickname that you had given them, which you always called them.

Claire is Claire-bear, Birdie is Bird, Lionel is Lion, Duke is Dick, Miles is My-My, Peg is Peggy, and Andi is… well, was Cassie. 

While in your own head about Andi, you tune out Birdie and Claire bickering. You finally tune back in when Claire re-asks you the questions from before. “Oh! Y/N, answer the questions from before Birdie interrupted. How is everything? How’re you and Whiskey?”

You smile at the woman, and respond, “Things are good! Lion and I have been absolutely stacked at work, but you know how Miles is. Me and Whiskey are doing amazing.”

Lionel then looks around for your girlfriend. When he doesn’t spot her, he inquires, “Where is your girl, anyway?” You then look around, also not spotting her. You open your mouth to say something, but a clearly not listening Birdie interrupts again.

“God and no masks I can breathe again. Look at this pool, maybe I'll go for a swim.” As soon as she finishes her sentence, your gorgeous girlfriend breaks through the surface of the water gracefully. Your jaw drops, your eyes widen, and you turn bright red.

Lionel and Claire quickly take note of this, and immediately begin teasing you. “Hey, Y/N. You’ve got some drool right there.” Lionel puts his finger on your chin. You immediately slap his hand away, not taking your eyes off of your girlfriend.

Claire calls out to Whiskey, shouting, “Hey Whiskey! I think you broke your girlfriend!” Whiskey glances over at you, smirking at the expression on your face.

“Baby, you okay?” She asks. You say something intelligent like ‘Uh- mhm- yep- so good.’ She laughs and swims towards the stairs leading out of the pool. You quickly get up, not bothering to bid your friends goodbye. You know they won’t mind.

As soon as you make it to where your girlfriend is standing, you grab her hand, yank her out of the pool, and pick her up bridal style before running to your room. She laughs joyfully, and wraps her arms around your neck.

---

Once you reach your shared suite, you shift her so that she is pressed between you and the door. You kissed her intensely, and quickly started to trail them down her neck. You heard her let out a breathy laugh and felt the vibrations in her throat when she asked, “What’s gotten into you, babe?”

You pull back and put your foreheads together, smiling at the woman you loved. “It just always amazes me how you seem to get prettier and prettier every time I look at you.”

Whiskey blushes at that, and pecks your lips again before hopping down from your arms. She grabs your hand and pulls you down onto the bed, making you let out a yelp of surprise. She quickly climbs on top of you. Cuddling into your chest.

You couldn’t be happier than in this moment, on this island, with the people you love. If only you knew how fast it would go to shit.

---

Join my taglist!

[anothercrisis]

it was way too long without Nikolai thoughts so come with me to this journe- /coughs/

Food.

I, for fucking sure, know that Nik hates most of his national food. Its just not that good to him. There are some good dishes that he will make in the middle in the end if he curves it. Like Oliv'ye. Its a salad made with potatoes, carrots, any type of meat (or not, I've seen it without meat), eggs, canned peas, mayonnaise and toppings (onions, pickles or cucumbers, ive heard of people adding corn but i strongly believe its a sin). Basically you boil everything, chop it up, add salt, mayo and its done! Easy and tasty.

I'm ready to swear on my mask and glasses, Price almost killed him when it happened the first time. Like imagine waking up to noise in your kitchen and your lover is gone and you hear a loud bang and “Syka! (Bitch but usually used as fuck)” from said kitchen. He was this close 🤏 to strangling Nik but was lucky to be spared. Turned out he grabbed hot pot with my brothers vegetables and spilled some boiling water on himself.

I heavily headcanon that you can- /coughs a little/ you can give Nikolai products and a recipe and it'll be done almost always perfectly.

About Price... well... beans on toast. Thats it. That's all you will be getting. Even if his life would depend on it he won't, never fucking ever, make anything. Not trusted even by Soap to cook anything. Gaz once tried his cooking and got food poisoning and a visit to the hospital. Ow.

I think you are absolutely right. Nik is definitely the one between him and Price who knows how to cook.

And I wonder if it’s because, like with languages, Nik just had to learn the skill to ensure his own survival and to enrich himself since no one else had the time or cared enough about him to teach him.

I feel like when he had free time on his hands, once life obligations like school and work were aside, that he would like to spend it doing something worthwhile, like reading or eating. And maybe it’s like a ritual of his. I’ve heard someone say before (in my own words) that they like to put energy into their cooking because it translates into energy for their body and mind. So I wonder if Nik does the same. If he intentionally takes the time to cook whenever he can to get that settling feeling of care and comfort.

And Price. At the end of the day, he is still a white man and who will only season his food with salt and pepper on most occasions. He doesn’t have the time with all of his duties to adopt a cooking ritual like Nik has, and we all know he wouldn’t be any good at it anyway.

So yeah, when Nik joins the 141 and when Price welcomes him into his little family, Nik takes to cooking for all of them whenever he can. It’s a love language as much as any other.

After a long mission where the team is barely standing, after Nik has brought them all safely back to base, after they’ve all been to medical, they will all gather around the common areas and sit together in comfortable silence while they wait for Nik to cook them something warm and comforting and hearty.

The entire team counts on Nik as much as they do Price. The two of them are the foundation the team stands on and there’s no telling what they would be without them.

[thecyberrecord]

I'm dealing with vaccination aftermath, which is much worse this time than any of the others that I can remember, so I figured I'd use Werewolf for some catharsis and relating, as I'm wont to do, and something to distract myself with. Also I guess I should finally learn how to use Tumblr. The body aches along with what I'd normally describe as the sensation of brain zaps, but in my entire body, the aching joints, the lung aches, the crackles of nerves, the ceaseless headache, gnawing fatigue, the oversensitivity to touch where even light contact feels like foil on teeth. I'm used to most of this because of my chronic health issues, but it's all turned up in intensity beyond my usual threshold right now. It's not as intense as the Bite, but It reminds me of it all the same.

It reminds me of when I was writing up a character I played too-briefly. They were the first Bitten character I'd played, and it was partly to challenge my initial frostiness to the concept of the Bite and the Bitten. I don't exactly remember why I started off with a low approval rating for it, it might have just been "a new thing? a CHANGE to my perfectly ordered schema??? [Weaver intensifies]" or a feeling like things were just being tossed in arbitrarily. There were a number of changes to the status quo in White Wolf's Mind's Eye Theater Werewolf: The Apocalypse, and I had a kneejerk wariness to all of that. (The book is so massive (759 pages cover to cover!) that the physical copy that I lent to my ST use for the LARP tore itself from its spine under its own weight, even while being carried around in a laptop bag thing to better support it, in the first week or two of use.)

But after some adjustment time and getting to play the system, it ended up being my favorite edition of Werewolf. Aside of a few things here and there (like the spirits), it felt like a much improved system, the in-world social changes and new factional arrangement I hadn't entirely agreed with the decisions of, but I found it stimulating to explore anyway (when are things ever neatly, perfectly decided, anyway? World of Darkness isn't exactly about playing in an already-ideal world) and I like how it breathed fresh life and bonds and conflicts into the political tapestry of the Garou Nation.

I especially like how the Bitten gave me a new avenue of Otherness to identify with and explore in the setting. Being Othered even within Othered communities is something I relate to, and I enjoy digging into that within the framework of the game. I did so with Aidan Abbett, Dead Drop.

Glyphname for Dead Drop, Homid (Bitten) Ragabash Glass Walker, in road paint. (It's in yellow because Dead Drop is a loading zone only, they have places to be.) Composed of 'Hidden/Conceal', 'New Moon/Trickery', 'Help', and the 'Creator' emphatics that are often used to denote a personal name. Hidden help and the discreet exchange of it. Dead Drop is the name they earned from their Fostern challenge, and this glyphname also works for their word-play Cliath name, which also serves as their general human-world name, Aidan Abbett.

Image background and manipulated elements are from a photo by Possessed Photography and used in accordance with this license.

The exploration of the trauma of the Bite relating to my own personal experiences with health and breakdown, while still having that sort of "traditional" Homid-born Garou experience of being transformed from a relative fragile creature into something wildly resilient, and that juxtaposition of being taken apart and broken over the course of a month to emerge as something nigh indestructible yet also left viscerally damaged and off-putting to the "real Garou"... all of that gave me an appreciation of the additional story tools that the Bitten afforded to Werewolf. Dead Drop was a lot of fun and had a lot of onion layers that I didn't have the time to really cut into too deeply with them because the game came to an end, with staff desperately needing a break, so this character will definitely have a reprise at some point.

[helenaheissner]

Love During Robot Fighting Time: Chapter 21

Faith

“Okay, so, how is this gonna work?” Kate asked, swirling her straw inside her tall glass of skim milk. 

The three of us sat in a booth inside a twenty-four hour diner in West Hollywood, atop brown leather seats jammed into the back corner of the main dining room. Overhead lights buzzed above us, casting their hot glow downwards on our intrepid trio. The blues stylings of Blind Blake hummed from the speaker, while the aromas of potatoes frying and meat grilling and pastries baking all filled the air. We all split a plate of onion rings while we waited for our entrees to arrive, taking turns dipping them in a small bowl of ketchup. I sipped my orange juice and Zeke skimmed his finger over the rim on his glass of sprite. “How do you mean?” I asked after swallowing a mouthful of OJ. 

“I mean… Well, I guess I just mean I’ve never been in a real relationship before, let alone one where there’s three people total. Zeke and I have only been a couple for a short while so far and now we’re adding you and I guess I just don’t really know what all this entails.”

“She raises a good point,” Zeke said. He sat next to her while I faced the two of them, putting his arm around her. I tried to ignore the green sparks shooting through my chest, tried to make sure they didn’t ignite a verdant blaze of hideous jealousy. I had no reason to be jealous- I’d literally kissed both of them less than a half hour ago. 

“Yeah, she does,” I said. “Still, does it have to be that different from how things are right now? Zeke, you and I have been best friends for a while anyway, and a couple is basically just a pair of best friends who have a romantic and/or sexual component to that dynamic.”

“That’s true,” Zeke said, idly scratching at the beard stubble sprouting on his chin. 

“And she does have the most relationship experience between the three of us,” Kate said. 

“That’s a scary prospect,” I said. 

“That doesn’t fill us with confidence, babe,” Zeke said. 

Babe. 

He called me… 

He called me babe.

HE CALLED ME BABE!!!!!!!

I squirmed in my seat, putting my hands under my chin as I wiggled back and forth and smiled. “Heeheehee,” I giggled. 

“I think she likes that, babe,” Kate said.

“I’m inclined to agree, babe,” Zeke said. 

“This is getting a little confusing though, babe,” Kate said, smirking. “It’s kinda what I’m talking about- if all three of us are occupying the same space and we’re all calling each other babe, which babe is the babe to whom we’re referring.”

“That could get a little confusing, yeah,” I said. Then I winked at her. “Babe.”

Those big blue doe eyes went wide as she blushed and smiled. “I mean… That certainly helps.”

Zeke snort-laughed. “Okay, back on topic: I can kinda see a broader issue happening here with one of us feeling like a third-wheel if two of us spend more time one-on-one then with all three of us. And since Faith and I live together, that feels like it will probably happen at some point.”

“The last thing I want is for Kate to feel neglected,” I said. 

“I mean hey, that’s not something I want either,” Kate said wryly before chomping down on another onion ring.

The waiter, a short and stocky black man with braids tied back into a man-bun and a nametag that read ‘Jerome’, came over with our meals: a stack of banana chocolate chip pancakes with a side of ham and cooked golden apples for Kate, a pastrami reuben on rye with a side of potato salad for Zeke, and an avocado melt on whole wheat with a side of coleslaw for me. “Here y’all are. Anything else I can get for you?”

“We’re good for now, though we might want some milkshakes by the end of the night,” Zeke said. 

“Or just one, with three straws,” Kate said, wiggling her eyebrows suggestively.

I cocked (heh) a smile. “I like the way you think, Katie.”

“Hmmm. I like it when you call me that,” she replied. 

Jerome left us to our food, and we all got so busy chowing down we let the conversation go silent for a few minutes. After we’d sated our initial hunger and let ourselves slow down, however, I said what was really on my mind: “it does raise the question, though: we’re gonna have to find ways for all three of us to be together a lot if we want to avoid any of us feeling jealous or neglected. Like, I’m not gonna lie, I wish I was sitting on that side of the booth with one of you instead of being here on my own.”

“Then come over and sit with us,” Kate shrugged. 

“Kate, she’s not gonna fit,” Zeke said. 

“Exactly, and I’m worried about that becoming a metaphor for this throuple-”

“Oh God, that is what we are, aren’t we?” Kate said. 

“I prefer ‘polycule’ personally,” Zeke said. “If we’re serious about this.”

“I am if y’all are,” Kate said. 

I nodded in agreement. “We should set up some ground rules: for every one-on-one date that a permutation of the three of us goes on, we have to go on a three-person date.”

“I like that,” Kate said, cutting up her ham and mixing it in with the syrupy pancakes before taking a large bite. 

“I do too, but what exactly constitutes a date?” Zeke said. “Again, Faith and I live together and we hang out watching TV basically every night unless I’m going on a date with Kate. Does that count?”

“I don’t really think so, no,” I said. 

“Okay, but Kate, be honest, would you get jealous about that? Me and Faith watching movies without you?”

Kate shook her head while chewing her food. She swallowed, then said, “No, that’s just hanging at home.”

“Okay, but what if Faith and I started banging?” Zeke said. 

I had the misfortune of swallowing a bite of my own sandwich when he said that, and nearly started choking before forcing the food down. “Getting a little ahead of ourselves, aren’t we, Underhill?”

He rubbed the back of his head. “... Fair enough, but like… It’s been on my mind. And I know you well enough to know that it’s been on yours as well. Kate and I have already talked about how we’re not quite ready for that yet-”

Kate put her palm flat across Zeke’s face. “Babe. Babe, we’re in public.”

“... Right, sorry. Forgot that.”

“Thank God this place is almost empty,” I said with a nervous chuckle, looking around to make sure none of the three old couples scattered throughout the diner were gawking at us degenerate youngins. Blind Blake gave way to Dolly Parton, ironically begging Jolene not to steal her man. Heh, I was pretty sure I’d figured out the work around to that particular conundrum. “But, uh, yeah, I’ll admit, there is that aspect to this particular equation. You and I have known each other a while, and I’ve been on HRT long enough that I’ve gotten a lot more comfortable with my body. And since we live together, we certainly have ease of access-”

“Yeah you do,” Kate said, brows raised and grin downright shit-eating. 

I started laughing in spite of myself. “Damn, Katie, you’re BAD.”

“You’re surprised?” Zeke deadpanned. 

“I really shouldn’t be,” I admitted. 

“Indeed.”

“Okay, seriously tho- you two are further along in all this stuff then I am,” Kate said.

“Are we? You and Zeke have been together longer,” I said.

“You and Zeke have known each other longer,” Kate retorted. 

“And you two have been the most desperate to bang each other the longest,” Zeke said. 

“What?!” Kate and I said in tandem. 

“Oh, c’mon, don’t deny it,” Zeke said. “We’re already here, in a polycule, don’t act like this is new or anything.”

“It is new,” Kate said. She looked at me. “Right?”

“I…,” I began, quickly trailing off. Then I thought back, to all the times Calloway had annoyed me over the past year, and wondered if there was anything more to that than poor social skills. “Actually, he might be onto something.”

“I don’t understand you sometimes,” Kate said. 

“It’s okay, we can work on that,” I said, squeezing her hand.

She blushed. “Sounds good. Also, for what it’s worth, I don’t mind if you two want to start getting intimate with each other. I’m not ready for it yet, but I hopefully will be soon. And there’s no reason for me not to let you two get a head start.”

So many images clouded my mind at that moment. SOOOO MANY. “I… Okay. Zeke, what do you think?”

“I think… I’m open to it. But, circling back a little, how about this,” Zeke said. “A date counts as such if it involves two or more of us going out and doing something together. This can include going to hang out with Katie at her place, and her at our place, but not us two at our own place. Does that sound good?”

“I’m cool with it,” Kate said. 

“Me too,” I nodded. 

“And we’re agreed that for every two-person date there needs to be a three-of-us date that week?” I asked, finishing off my sandwich. 

“Absolutely,” Zeke said, inhaling his last bite of potato salad. 

“We should also have a group chat,” Kate said, swallowing a large quantity of pancake. 

“Oh, good idea,” I said, whipping out my phone and cobbling one together. I dubbed it ‘Faith’s favorite people.’

“Awww,” Kate said. 

“Very cute,” Zeke said. “Relatedly: one last question.”

“Yes?” Kate and I both asked. 

“Does this count as one of our ‘all three of us’ dates?” Zeke asked. 

“I think so,” I said with a wide smile. 

“So do I,” Kate said. 

“In that case, a toast,” Zeke said, raising his glass. “To us. And to new beginnings.”

“Cheers!” I said, clinking my glass.

“Cheers!” Kate said. 

Jerome came back, with a chocolate malt and three straws on a tray. He set it on our table. “Figured this was where the evening was headed. Did I assume correctly?”

“You did indeed, my good man, you did indeed,” I said. 

I reached over to the center and sucked on the straw, the two faces of the people I cared about more than anything came very, very close to me while they did the same thing. We all drank together, not stopping until all three of us were wincing from brain freeze and laughing together through the pain. Kate’s laughter came in time with the final notes of ‘Jolene’, and Zeke held both of our hands as we reveled in each other’s company. 

I could get used to this. 

***

Later that night, after we’d dropped Kate off at home, Zeke and I made our way back to our place and walked up to our apartment, hand in hand. He smelled so damn good, musky and virile, and his massive hands felt amazing wrapped around my small, calloused ones. He was so much bigger than me, and I’d always been short, but around him, I felt… Delicate. Around him, I felt like me, and I wanted to savor that feeling as much as possible. I wanted to make each second I spent with him count, to make up for the wasted years I’d spent trying to avoid taking responsibility for my feelings. I wanted that with Kate, too, but I’d wanted it with Zeke for longer, and I wanted him to know how much I cared about him. 

Besides, I wasn’t tired yet- locking down a relationship with two hotties tends to give you an adrenaline rush, as it turns out. 

“Nightcap?” I asked him as he closed and locked the door. 

“I… Think I meant it, when I said I don’t wanna drink anymore,” Zeke said with a nervous laugh. “My mom is… Very clearly an alcoholic, and I don’t wanna go down that road.”

“Zeke, hey, you’re nothing like her,” I said, my heart sawing itself in half at his words and his downcast expression. He couldn’t possibly still think he was like his parents. He had to know how amazing he was. 

“I know, I just… The risk seems high to me, still,” he said. “I wanna be better than her. And him. Both for myself… And for you and Kate.”

The smile crept onto my face in spite of the sorrow behind the situation. I went to him, cupped his cheeks in my hands. His stubble had already grown thicker- by morning, the beginnings of a beard would already be manifesting. He was so rough and hairy and hard; I was used to girls, soft and smooth and elegant. This was different: this was a man, built differently than me, wired differently than me. It had taken me a few months to really accept that I liked the differences, liked the way he towered over me, liked the way he leapt to my aid without hesitation, liked the way he wanted to be my knight in shining armor. But now that I had, and I knew that I could have it both ways… It was as if I’d unlocked some hidden part of myself, long neglected and shoved into a corner in the back of my mind. I was a woman, yes; but moreover, at that moment, I knew I was one of HIS women. And I loved being that. 

Guess it was up to me to show him how much I loved it. Challenge accepted. 

“Hey,” I said, standing up on my tip-toes, leaning against his chest, stroking his cheek. “You’re already more than enough for both of us. So don’t ever compare yourself to your idiot parents, yeah?”

“You really mean that?” he said, his nose touching mine, our foreheads pressing together, his heartbeat thundering as I leaned on him. 

“I really, really do,” I said, my mouth getting closer to his. 

Our lips met, and it was different from our first kiss- that had been exploratory, tentative, nervous. We’d both been shaking when it happened, terrified of the idea that the aftermath might not be as good as the anticipation. 

Now we knew we didn’t have that problem. His stubble tickled my face, making me giggle as my tongue entered his mouth and explored the inside. My hands dug into his hair and rubbed his scalp as he pushed forward and pinned me against the wall, hands running down my shoulders and settling on my hips. My knee popped and I pushed back, kissing his neck and his cheek, my hands running over his hard, muscular chest. 

He gripped my hips tightly and lifted me up, and I settled into his arms as my forehead pressed against his and my tongue once again found its way down his throat. “Bedroom?” I said in a hungry whisper. 

“Are you sure?” he said, kissing me up and down my arm. 

“Only if you are,” I purred. 

“That… That would be a nightcap more up my alley,” he said. “We’ll have to tell Katie about this, though.”

“That’s fine with me,” I said, pulling off his shirt and witnessing the glory of his six pack abs and toned pectorals, digging my hands into his modest garden of dark chest hair, nibbling his shoulder lightly. Arousal burned like a wildfire through every inch of me, desperate to consume everything. “And she said she was fine with it.”

“Okay,” he said, a downright wicked smile on his face, mischief in his eyes. He bridal-carried me into his room.

“Throw me onto the bed,” I pleaded. I was small and delicate, and I was in his massive hands and strong arms. I wanted to be reminded of just how much he could do to me. 

“Throw you?!” he said, aghast. 

I giggled. Oh, Zeke. Ever the gentleman. “Okay, toss me lightly. Is that better?”

He laughed, and carefully tossed me onto his mattress. Then he jumped on as well, kicking off his shoes and pinning me down by my wrists. He loomed above me, a massive tower of masculine desire and intention. “I’ve dreamt of this moment. Literally dreamt of it.”

“Honestly, same,” I said, looking up into him, desperate to relinquish all control and give myself over to him, mind and body- ESPECIALLY body. “Guess dreams really do come true.���

“Evidently, yes,” he said, tugging the dress down from my shoulders and carefully folding it before placing it on the floor. It was honestly the sweetest little thing he could have done, and it very definitely DID SOMETHING for me. “Now then: shall we begin, oh captain my captain?”

“Yes please,” I said as I unzipped his jeans and pulled them down. 

A very long, very involved, very sweaty night proceeded from there.

***

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[cursed-elo-images]

INCORRECT ELO QUOTES PART 5

Kelly: It's alright, we have salt packets.

Richard: Not the ones that snap in half, but sure.

Bev: What’s wrong?

Melvyn: I have to write a whole paragraph for school.

Bev: That’s not so bad; I write entire books.

Melvyn: Yeah, but this has to be good.

Melvyn: Last night, I had a dream about sandwich pizza.

Bev: What?

Melvyn: It was pizza with bread on the top and the bottom.

Bev: So a calzone?

Melvyn: You can’t just name things I dream up.

Bev: I know how this must look but I can assure you we have a perfectly logical explanation.

Melvyn: Yeah! We’re cowards!

Melvyn: Bev told me to stop being immature, so I told him to get out of my fort.

Hugh: Bev likes to say ‘you can be part of the problem or part of the solution,’ but I happen to believe you can be both.

Bev: You disgust me.

Melvyn: *eating a kitkat sideways* I realize this and don’t care.

Melvyn: The universe is cold and unfeeling. The only constant is chaos.

Bev: Was that place out of chocolate-chip pancakes again?

Melvyn: What are you eating?

Bev: You wouldn't like it, it's really salty.

Melvyn: I like you, don't I?

Melvyn, holding in his laughter: Hey, how do you ask a glass of water what it’s doing?

Bev: A glass of water is an inanimate object. Therefore, it's incapable of having a thought process or understanding basic human language.

Melvyn:

Melvyn: Water you doing?

Bev, playing a video game: This game is so frustrating! I hate it, I hate it, I hate it!

Melvyn: Ok, I think it’s time to turn off the game for a little while.

Bev: But I’m having fun!

Bev: I know this isn’t going to end well and I don’t care. So don’t you try and stop me, Melvyn!

Melvyn: I wasn’t stopping you. I was asking if you had a spare camera so I can record this.

Melvyn: Hey guys, I’m making french toast sticks in the oven. I’m gonna take a quick nap, so wake me up in 5 minutes to flip them over.

*5 minutes later*

Bev: Melvyn it’s been 5 minutes, time to flip your sticks.

Melvyn: snnnzzzz...

Bev: MELVYN YOUR STICKS!

Bev: Do you even know what an amulet is?

Melvyn: Of course I do! I eat amulets sometimes. I like the ones with cheese and onions!

Bev: Melvyn, those are omelettes.

Melvyn: Oh. Then I’ve got nothing.

Melvyn: Here you go, Bev, a nice hot cup of coffee!

Bev: It's cold.

Melvyn: A nice cup of coffee.

Bev: It's horrible!

Melvyn: Cup of coffee.

Bev: I'm not sure if this even IS coffee.

Melvyn: C U P.

Bev: Hey Melvyn, can I get some icecream?

Melvyn: Only a spoonful!

Bev: *Proceeds to pull out a comically large spoon.*

Melvyn: If I didn't know any better, I'd say you're impressed.

Bev: But you do know better.

Melvyn: You know what I’ve realized?

Bev: Some thoughts are better left unsaid?

Melvyn: Nice try, anyways-

Bev: You know, there’s only one person in this world who can tell you what you are.

Melvyn: Me.

Bev: No.

Bev: Me.

Kelly: You know, on second thought, Gum would be perfection.

Bev: *Gives him a strange look and hands him a piece of gum*

Kelly: *Thinking* Gum would be perfection. Gum would be perfection. I could have said gum would be nice, could have said I'll have a stick. But no no no no no, for me, gum is perfection. I loathe myself.

Kelly to Bev: Turn that frown upside-down!

*a little while later*

Kelly: What are you doing?

Bev, trying to do a handstand: You told me to “turn that frown upside-down” but it’s not working .

Bev: Thought I was meowing back at my cat for the past hour, but it was just me and Kelly meowing at each other from different rooms in the house.

Bev: You made enough pasta that you could take it to lunch tomorrow. Put it in a container.

Kelly: Shovel the pasta into your face. Do it. Put it in your face. The future is meaningless but the pasta is now.

Kelly: I’m so excited!

Bev: We’re gonna have the best costumes, get the most candy...

Kelly: And have the biggest stomach aches ever!

Bev: Yeah!

Bev: As a responsible adult-

Kelly: *chuckles*

Bev: … As a responsible adult—

Bev: Can you be serious for five minutes?

Kelly: My record is four, but I think I can do it.

Bev: Why are there little handprints all over the walls?

Mik, whispering: Why are there little handprints all over the walls?

Kelly, whispering: Because I have little hands.

Mik: Because he has little hands.

Mik: Bev! Kelly got that thing on the control panel working!

Bev: Wow! That looks pretty impressive.

Mik: Yeah!

Bev: Any idea what it does?

Mik: Not a clue.

Mik: What would Bev think?

Kelly: Ok, that’s an interesting thought, but hear me out: what if… we ran an experiment where we spent the rest of our lives finding out what happened if we never told him?

Bev: I don’t know the first thing about clothes. Pretty much all I can do is look at something and tell you if it’s clothes or not. This chair? Not clothes.

Bev on Monday: *glues a dime to the sidewalk* Heh heh heh.

Bev on Wednesday: *walking down the street* Ooh hey! A dime!

Bev: We got a free day now. What do you wanna do? Eat? Sleep? Nap? Snack?

Hugh, after getting a library card: Now I know what true power feels like.

Bev: I have passed the transitional stage of internet geekhood.

Bev: I was cashiering at work today, and was punching in the code for plums, which is 4040, and the 0 key doesn't work this well, so I punched it in wrong. And the machine flashed up "Item Not Found: 404".

Bev: And I actually laughed out loud.

Bev: ATTENTION: I HAVE BREACHED CONTAINMENT.

Bev: DO NOT PANIC, I AM SIMPLY GETTING A SNACK.

Bev: I scare people a lot because I walk very softly and they don't hear me enter rooms. So when they turn around, I'm just kind of there and their fear fuels me.

Bev: Theater kids are just choir kids who joined forces with the band and strings kids.

Richard: Raisins. It's nature's candy

Bev: We always used to do the Wordle rather than take notes in class.

Bev: To stop us the teacher would always threaten to tell us the answer if we didn’t pay attention.

Bev: My favorite outdoor activity is going back inside.

Mik: Please could you go to the shop and get a carton of milk, if they have avacodos get six.

Bev, coming back from the store with six cartons of milk: They had avacados!

Mik: Bev, you’ve tried 37 times and you’ve failed every time. Give it a break.

Bev: DO I HEAR “FIRST TRY PART 38?”

Mik: I did it! I memorized everything in the book! I'm gonna ace this test!

Bev: Ok, Mik, I'll give you one more question before you go. What ended in 1918?

Mik: 1917.

Bev: ...You're ready.

Bev: Aww, what's your dog's name?

Jeff: Spartacus.

Bev, yelling to Mik: TRY SPARTACUS!

Mik, on the computer: DIDN'T WORK!

Jeff:

Bev: What's your favorite number?

Mik, to Jeff: If Bev doesn't say "I'm King of the world" within an hour on that boat, I will give you my next pay check.

Bev, within 5 minutes of getting on the boat: I'M KING OF THE WORLD!!!

Jeff, pointing to Hugh’s empty room: YOU LET HIM ESCAPE?!?

Mik: I WAS ON BREAK.

Mik: What’s your greatest weakness?

Melvyn: Interpreting the semantics of a question, but ignoring the pragmatics.

Mik: Could you give an example?

Melvyn: Yes, I could.

Bev: I hate to disagree with you, but-

Hugh: Please, you love to disagree with me. Its your favorite thing to do.

Bev: I don’t mean to be rude—

Kelly: Yet, sadly, accidental rudeness occurs alarmingly often.

Kelly: We'll talk about this later.

Bev: Fine, I won’t be listening.

Kelly: :)

Bev: >:(

Kelly: Turn that frown upside down!

Bev: ):<

Kelly: Not sure what I was expecting…

Jeff: We wouldn’t last two minutes without Hugh.

Jeff:

Jeff: Don’t tell him I said that.

Jeff: You know, I really wish you’d just admit you made a mistake sometimes.

Melvyn, stirring his coffee: I prefer it with salt.

Bev: Can I go to the pool?

Kelly: Sure, we’ll go as soon as I’m free.

Bev: No, can I go by myself?

Kelly: You don’t want to go with me?

Bev: You just go around challenging random people to cannonball contests.

Kelly: It’s the only way to establish dominance.

Melvyn: I’m sorry for being annoying.

Melvyn: It will happen again.

Bev: So jellyshish-

Kelly, laughing: JELLYSHISH!?

Bev: You know what I meant!

Kelly: Why don't humans have a specific noise that means "there are bees here, let's leave immediately." Why are elephants more advanced than us.

Bev: We do have a specific noise for it. It sounds like this:

Bev: "There are bees here, let's leave immediately."

Kelly: Someone care to explain why we have 6 dogs in our apartment?

Bev: They're golden retrievers, dude. They retrieve gold. I did this for us.

Kelly: It's not our fault!

Bev: Yeah, but... Come on, the least we can do is talk to them.

Kelly: No, the least we could do is nothing!

Bev: "I lost a bet."

Bev: The second-most ominous phrase in existence.

Kelly: What's the first?

Bev: "Let's make a bet.

Kelly: Have you heard of Murphy’s law? The one where if something can go wrong, it will go wrong?

Richard: Yeah, I have.

Kelly: Have you heard of Cole’s law?

Richard: Is this a joke about coleslaw?

Kelly: …maybe.

Richard: How petty can you get?

Kelly: I once edited a Wikipedia article to win an argument I was wrong about.

Richard: We just ate. Why are you making pancakes?

Kelly: For the dogs.

Richard: Why are you making pancakes for the dogs?

Kelly: They don't know how.

Richard: What do we say when life disappoints us?

Kelly: Called it!

Richard: No.

Richard: Are you going to sleep?

Kelly: I can't. This is important.

Richard: What?

Kelly: Someone is wrong on the internet.

Kelly: Might I make a suggestion you possibly won’t like?

Richard: Do you make any other kind?

Kelly: This was almost a great idea.

Richard: You just described 90% of our stuff.

Kelly, carrying a box: What would you say if- if I, hypothetically, came home with 7 kittens one day?

Richard: …

Richard: What’s in the box?

Kelly: What woul-

Richard: Kelly, what’s in the box?

Kelly: I think you know.

Kelly: You... you said I could trust you!!

Kelly: You said you were a GAMER!!!

Richard: Kelly... I only play mobile games.

Kelly: NOOOOOOOO!!!!!!

Kelly: My goal is not to be the best, but to inspire someone enough to one day surpass me.

Richard: YOU CAN'T JUST SAY THAT EVERY TIME YOU BEAT ME AT CONNECT FOUR!

Richard: What's two plus two?

Kelly: Math.

Richard: ...I will accept that answer.

Richard: Who's in charge here?

Kelly, shrugging: Usually whoever yells the loudest.

Kelly: I wish I could help you, but I shorn’t.

Richard: Kelly, please!

Kelly: What part of shorn’t don’t you understand?

Richard: I need life advice.

Kelly, sipping Gatorade and eating cookie dough: You came to the right person.

[i-can-even-burn-salad]

Chapter 32

Glass Shards

Warnings: None (one icky kiss :p)

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After talking so late into the night, Damien didn’t wake up until the sun was already high in the sky. He opened his eyes, but didn’t move. Merridy lay close to him; closer even than when they had fallen asleep. She had turned in the night and was now facing him, her features completely relaxed in sleep.

For a while, Damien did nothing but watch her. He would have loved to push that stray strand of hair out of her face, but he didn’t dare to, afraid it would wake her up. All he eventually settled for was resting his hand on her arm, stroking over the sleeping bag with the smallest of motions.

In the light of day the dreams of a house—a home—seemed further away than ever. Wishful thinking, that was all it was. But the possibility that she would stay with him—with him—was real. Despite all his faults, despite everything she had been through because of him, there was something worthwhile she saw in him. How he hadn’t managed to fuck this up yet was beyond him.

It didn’t take long for Merridy to stir. She frowned in an entirely adorable way, trying to tuck herself deeper into her sleeping bag in an attempt to cling to sleep. As it was so often the case, it didn’t work. Slowly, she opened her eyes, blinking a few times.

“Good…” Damien’s voice cracked, and he cleared his throat. “Good morning.”

Merridy’s gaze flitted to him, but didn’t linger. She turned her head, squinting up at the canopy.

“How late is it?”

“I don’t know.” If he was honest, Damien hadn’t even looked at the position of the sun yet. “Late morning, I suppose.”

“You could have woken me up.”

No. No, I really couldn’t have, he thought. “It was late last night,” was what he said instead. “There’s no point in you falling asleep while we travel.”

Merridy poked his shoulder as she sat up. “Was just as late for you, you know.” Something crossed her face, too quickly for Damien to make out. “We should make it today. It can’t be much further. Back then, my legs were much shorter.” She wiggled her feet inside the sleeping bag. Her tone was a bit too casual, the way she didn’t directly look at him a bit too obvious, but she didn’t draw back from him, which he decided to take as a good sign. 

Damien sat up as well, leaning back on his arm and stretching his legs. With the way he sat, they reached much further than hers. 

He nudged her before he wriggled his feet. “Still look pretty short, if you ask me,” he said.

“Hey.” She shoved his side, but behind the hair falling into her face he could see her smile. “So rude. I’ll show you what those legs can do.”

Damien raised his eyebrows. “Yeah?”

“Yeah.” Slowly, and without breaking eye contact, she freed herself from her sleeping bag. She kept it up as she reached behind her, searching for something. The moment she pulled it in front of her, her serious expression cracked. The corners of Damien’s mouth turned upwards as well as he recognized her shoes.

“Walking,” she said, slipping the shoes on. “We should be going. Do you think we can eat on the road? The fire’s gone out anyway.” She grabbed her backpack and started to rummage around in it. “There’s some bread left. And three apples. Not the greatest meal, but our next one could be in an inn.”

“Fine with me.” Damien grabbed his shoes as well, while Merridy got up and started folding her sleeping bag. “I won’t complain about something that hasn’t been cooked over a campfire. What’s the town called?”

Merridy froze. “It’s…” She placed the sleeping bag over her arm, so she had one hand free to reach for the tips of her hair. Twisting a strand, she said, “Lavender Town.”

“Really?”

“Creative, isn’t it?” Merridy grinned. “Can you guess what it’s known for?”

“Their bountiful onion harvest?” Damien suggested. 

Merridy burst out giggling. Seeing her laugh at his silly little joke, Damien was sure this was what true happiness felt like.

As soon as they had packed up their camp, they set out on the road, sharing the bread and the apples. When they passed a stream, they used the opportunity to refresh themselves and refill their waterskins. They walked mostly in silence, but it was a comfortable one.

It was late afternoon when Merridy became visibly excited, pointing out the fields on both sides of the path. To Damien, they all looked the same: pretty bare and pretty brown and pretty boring. A tender shoot or single leaf seemed to be enough for her to recognize what would be growing there, though. It was hard not to share her joy, even if Damien barely knew half of the flowers and plants she named. It was a shame it was so early in the year. Spring and summer must look wonderful here.

As the sun slowly approached the horizon, dark clouds drew near. It didn’t take long for the sky to become fully overcast, for the light to grow dim and thunder to rumble in the distance. There was no sign of their destination in sight. Damien wondered anxiously whether they should perhaps seek shelter somewhere from the coming storm.

“It can’t be far,” Merridy said as if she had read his thoughts. “We need to hurry. The storms here never last long, but they can be vicious.” 

Damien looked around. There was nothing around where they might be able to find shelter. Only the endless fields, stretching out in each direction, and a few scattered trees that would endanger them rather than protect them.

“Come.” Merridy looked back at Damien. She was already a few steps ahead. “Let’s run.”

They didn’t quite manage to run, already exhausted from a full day of travel and weighed down by their heavy backpacks, but they walked as quickly as they could. The temperature dropped, the air smelling of wet earth and rain in the distance, quickly drawing closer. 

When it caught up with them, they were soaked to the bones within seconds. Damien grabbed Merridy’s hand, and they hurried side by side along the sodden path, their feet seemingly sinking deeper with each step.

“Look! Isn’t that a light over there?”

Merridy stopped, peering into the darkness. Damien followed her gaze. At first, he thought she was mistaken, but then the veil of rain lifted for a moment, and he saw it too. Encouraged by the prospect of getting out of the rain, they started to run faster. 

A few minutes later, the outline of a low, wooden palisade became discernible, followed by the roofs of the houses behind. Each step revealed more details, bringing them closer to the promise of warmth and safety. Just in time as well, if the steadily approaching sound of thunder was any indication.

When they stepped under the arch framing the entrance into the town—there was no gate—Merridy stopped, out of breath.

“We.” She coughed, gasping for breath, then tried again. “We. Made it.” She laughed, the sound cut short by another gasp. “Let’s. Let’s find an inn.”

Damien held on to her hand as she led him through abandoned alleys. The cobblestone under their feet was slick with water, and the wind drove the rain into their faces. The first flash of lightning lit up the sky—distant still and somewhere above the clouds, followed by thunder a few seconds later.

“Here we are.”

Merridy had stopped in front of a wooden door above which a sign swung haphazardly in the wind. “Golden Lavender” the sign read. It was adorned with an engraved bushel of lavender that in the light of day might or might not be golden.

She pushed open the door, holding it for Damien until he had entered. While the door closed behind them, they both shook off as much water as possible. To not drag too much mud into the room, they wiped their boots on a rug just inside the door, presumably placed for exactly that purpose. 

Damien looked around, letting Merridy handle the talking. The room was dark, but comfortably furnished. Half of the tables sat in small alcoves, promising some privacy. Dried flowers and painted plates adorned the walls, and the counter was clean and tidy. It smelled like old wood and hearty food.

Merridy introduced them as a married couple, travelers seeking shelter from the storm, and rented a room with a large bed. The innkeeper, a friendly, extremely young-looking man with light hair and eyes, offered to have a basket of hot coals brought up so they could go and dry their things.

Half an hour later, wearing fresh clothes and with their hair mostly dried, they returned to the dining area. Despite having put on dry socks and his spare pair of shoes, Damien’s feet were still freezing, as was his hand. He followed Merridy to one of the alcoves, where she sat down on the bench surrounding the table from three sides.

She shuffled further in, leaving enough space for Damien to sit down next to her. He only did so as she gave him an inviting look, nodding ever so slightly at the free spot. Sitting down, he brushed her arm and froze. Unless he wanted to sit halfway over the edge of the bench, there was no way he wouldn’t touch her. Not that he minded it—he couldn’t imagine minding anything less—but he didn’t want her to feel cornered, especially not after the previous evening.

Merridy leaned close to him, lowering her voice. “If I sit here, you don’t have to do… that while we eat.” She gestured to the illusion of his right arm, now partially vanishing in her side. “I know there’s not many people, but… I just thought it might help.” She lowered her gaze to the table, the wood stained and polished from years of use. Fidgeting with the edge of a small tablecloth, on which a vase with half-wilted flowers and a flickering candle in a thick, orange glass were placed, she mumbled, “I can move over, if you want.”

Damien swallowed. He had gotten used to keeping the illusion up, but not having to think about it for a while was a nice prospect. It was nothing compared to the warm feeling that spread in his chest whenever a small gesture like this revealed how much she cared about him.

“No. I mean, yes. I mean, please stay.” What was it about her that made him forget such easy words as ‘Thank you, that’s a good idea, I appreciate it very much’?

Merridy smiled, then stiffened, hurriedly leaning away from him. Before Damien had time to wonder—and worry—about it, a shadow fell on the table.

“Evening,” the innkeeper said. “Do you wish to order something? Beer, wine, cider? Or perhaps a meal? We have lamb chops and potato-bean-stew today.” 

At the mention of lamb, Damien noticed the hint of a frown on Merridy’s face, so he didn’t have to think long. 

“Two of the stew, please. Do you have something warm to drink? Tea, perhaps?”

“Of course. We have a local mix that’s very good. Assorted herbs and lavender, served with honey. Is that all right?”

Damien tried his best to bite back a grin. Of course, they’d put lavender even in their tea. “Yes, thank you,” he said. 

They sat in silence until the innkeeper returned with their food and tea. There weren’t many other patrons. A man at the bar, who had talked with the innkeeper in a low voice until he had left his place to take care of his guests. Three middle-aged women around a round table, engaged in animated conversation, laughing occasionally. And a young couple in another alcove, who definitely only had eyes for each other.

As soon as they were alone, Damien dared to drop the illusion. Close as Merridy was, it would look as if he had put his right arm around her. She leaned against his shoulder and reached for her cup, wrapping her hands around it.

“Mhm.” She closed her eyes, taking a deep breath. For a moment, she didn’t move, only soaking up the warmth. When she finally raised the cup to her lips, she wrinkled her brows.

“Tastes funny,” she mumbled, opening her eyes to peek thoughtfully into her cup. 

Damien picked up his own cup, taking a sip. The hint of bitterness was all too familiar.

“Alcohol,” he said. “He probably meant well, given the weather. Do you want me to ask him to bring one without?”

He didn’t like the taste much himself, but at least it wasn’t beer or wine. 

“No.” She took another sip, showing no reaction this time. “It’s fine. I don’t want to cause any trouble.”

Damien decided not to remark that if anyone, it was the innkeeper who was causing trouble. If it was fine for her, it was fine for him. He leaned back, stretching his legs. The warmth started to soak into his bones, leaving him relaxed and drowsy. There wasn’t much they would be able to do on this day, and he was really looking forward to sleeping in a real bed in a warm room.

While his fingers drummed idly against the cup, he let his gaze wander through the room. The man at the bar was deeply engrossed in conversation with the innkeeper, the women had started some kind of card game, and the couple had retreated as far as possible into the shadow of the alcove. Damien grimaced and hurriedly looked away.

Merridy must have noticed his glance. She peered past him and giggled quietly.

“Well that’s… oh.” The cheerfulness disappeared from Merridy’s face. “Does kissing bother you, too?”

Damien pondered the question, realizing that he had never truly thought about it. When the silence stretched on a bit too long, worry crept onto Merridy’s features.

“I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to… I’m not trying to make fun of you. Please don’t—”

“I didn’t think you were,” Damien interrupted her, bumping lightly into her. Now he regretted sitting in a way so he couldn’t put his arm around her. “I just never thought about it, you know? The thought of sex makes my stomach turn, but this?” He shrugged and cast another quick glance at the couple, who seemed to be quite busy eating each other’s faces. “It doesn’t repulse me. It just… I don’t get it.” He really didn’t understand this all too common urge to mix any bodily fluids.

“Mhm.” She stared into her almost empty cup. “You never tried then.”

Damien’s laugh got stuck in his throat. Something about her tone, her posture, her whole behavior was off. If only he could figure out what the problem was. 

“No,” was all he said, keeping the thought of ‘with whom?’ to himself.

“Want to give it a try?”

“What?” Damien asked. He watched her, flushed cheeks and gleaming eyes, for any hint of where the fuck that had come from now. “You’re drunk.”

“Am not.”

Damien raised his eyebrows, hoping it would be sufficient to convey his disbelief.

“Really not, not from… that. I’m just…” Merridy paused, biting her lip. When she continued speaking, she didn’t look at Damien. “Worried. That I’m not… enough. All this.” She nodded in the direction of the couple. “It means nothing to me. And if you want that, if you’ll end up wanting that… I tried to learn it, but I don’t think.” Her voice shook. The gleam in her eyes didn’t come from the alcohol, Damien realized, but from tears that now threatened to spill. “I don’t think I can do that anymore.”

“Merry…” The thought that she might force herself to do something she didn’t want, for his sake, made him sick. “I don’t want that. Never did. And I don’t think I ever will. But we can try.”

The words felt stale on his tongue. If she was this worried about it, it seemed to be the easiest way to fix that, though. As for himself, Damien seriously doubted there was any kind of epiphany to expect. 

Merridy nodded the tiniest of nods, finally letting go of the cup so she could turn fully towards him. Damien listened within. He was nervous, but it was more the fear of fucking this up somehow than the unease he felt when he thought of sexual things. If he was honest, he didn’t feel anything at all. If he wanted this, shouldn’t there be some kind of pull or something, anything to tell him what he was supposed to do?

“So,” he mumbled, 

“... so,” Merridy repeated. 

She leaned forward, overcoming the short distance between them and pressing her lips to his. The sensation wasn’t bad, but it also wasn’t better than any of the other touches they had shared. 

When her lips parted, Damien became overly aware of his breathing. At first, he tried to hold his breath, then he exhaled through his nose, which was weird. Merridy’s tongue brushing over his lips prompted him to open his mouth a little, allowing her in. Feeling her tongue on his lips, on his teeth, was less nasty than he would have thought, but it was weird. Everything about this was fucking weird.

Damien tried to remember what he was supposed to do. When his brother had talked about it—which hadn’t been often due to their differences—he had never paid particularly much attention.

Cluelessly, he tried to imitate what she was doing, which went just as well as he had expected. ‘Why would anyone enjoy this?’ he wondered as his tongue bumped against her teeth. It was a very unsettling feeling. He tried to move to the side, but her tongue was in the way. He remembered he had to breathe, but his own breath felt overly hot in his throat. Finally, he had enough. 

“This makes no sense,” Damien mumbled, resting his forehead against hers. “I don’t like it. I don’t want it.” 

He pulled back, raising his hand to Merridy’s cheek. The way she leaned into his touch, with her eyes half closed yet fully focused on him, was better than any part of this… experiment could ever be.

“Do you believe me?” he asked.

Merridy nodded. The gleam in her eyes turned into a single tear, running down her cheek. Damien raised his thumb, brushing it over the skin under her eye, wiping the tear away. All he wanted was to hold her close until she believed him that she was enough, but he couldn’t do that here. He was rather sure no one had paid them any attention, but he still longed to be back in their room, where he wouldn’t have to worry about that.

“We should eat before our dinner gets cold,” he said, surprised by how steady his voice was.

Despite his suggestion, it took Damien a few seconds before he could bring himself to let his hand sink. Merridy’s gaze dropped to the table, and she reached for her spoon, so she could poke around listlessly in her bowl. Damien pushed his still mostly full cup aside, picking up his own spoon. No matter how little effect the alcohol had on him, he wouldn’t risk it. 

It only took a few bites for him to realize how hungry he had been. The food was excellent, if only lukewarm by now. When Merridy followed his example and started to eat, she relaxed, leaning slightly against him as she shoveled the stew into her mouth. Soon enough, her bowl was empty. She put her spoon down and rested her head on Damien’s shoulder, her left arm wrapped around his back while she waited for him to finish his meal. 

This, Damien thought, watching the flickering candlelight bathe her face in a soft, golden glow. This was all he wanted.

[ID: The top image is a banner covered in colorful glass shards. Across it is written the title of the story, glass shards,  in a white to bright cyan gradient with a black outline. The font looks like written with a broad paintbrush. All other images  in this post are purely ornamental lines. End ID.]

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