#anyways thoughts on the morality of being hailed as a hero when all you do is kill

[otaku553]

A doodle of nebula knight (Kirby hero of yore oc!)

Lots of thoughts about writing narrative foils for characters that are paragons of light and goodness (galacta knight)

[aboveallarescuer]

#that happens even when the person isnt trying to argue that shes a mad queen/villain but that she has both 'good' and 'evil' in her#and is meant to fail#(e.g. that meta about how dany is a tragic shakespearean hero; which annoys me more bc it sounds convincing when you don't remember what#happened in the books very well...

Can you talk more about your problems with that essay? I thought that it sounded plausible... I don't want those things to happen to Daenerys, but I don't trust GRRM either.

Anon, thank you for this ask and sorry for the delayed answer. I was already planning to write several posts as a response to the arguments of “Daughter of Death: A Song of Ice and Fire’s Shakespearean Tragic Hero” (which you can read here), but I couldn't find the time or motivation for that lately, so thanks for giving me the opportunity to counter-argue it in a single answer. I tried to be brief by summarizing some of my notes and by linking to a lot of metas instead of repeating all of their points, but the response unfortunately ended up becoming long anyway.

In the context of that essay, Dany is considered a Shakespearean tragic hero because the writer thinks she fits five requirements: 1) Dany’s chapters contain supposedly deliberate references to Shakespearean plays; 2) Dany is “torn by an internal struggle”, namely peace versus violence or companionship versus rulership or home versus the Iron Throne, all of which also drive the external conflicts. Choosing the second options will lead to her demise; 3) prophecies and “influential accidents” - that is, events that “have roots in a character’s motivation”, as well as “the sense of ‘if only this had not happened’” - will “heighten and exaggerate [tragic flaws that] already [exist]” in Dany; 4) Dany will (according to the essayist’s speculations) take actions that produce “exceptional calamity” and her demise will be “her own choice and doing”; 5) Dany “[rose] high in position” and is “an exceptional being”, which sets her apart as a character that fits the mold of the Shakespearean tragedy because her reversal of fortune will highlight “the greatness and piteousness of humanity”.

I would argue that the points that the essayist made to justify how Dany supposedly fits these five requirements are all very skewed.

1) When it comes to requirement 1 (Dany’s chapters contain supposedly deliberate references to Shakespearean plays), the essayist is conveniently cherry-picking (as they often do throughout the meta). Bran Stark wants a dreamless sleep just like Dany: “Sweet, dreamless sleep, Bran thought.” (ACOK Bran I); “That night Bran prayed to his father’s gods for dreamless sleep.” (ACOK Bran II). Indeed, @marinabridgerton argues that that’s most likely tied to the fact that they’re the two characters most heavily associated with prophecies. Even Sansa is said to have a dreamless sleep: “Sometimes her sleep was leaden and dreamless, and she woke from it more tired than when she had closed her eyes” (AGOT Sansa VI). And yet, where are the essays about how these quotes are teaching the readership to interpret Bran’s and Sansa’s characters, storylines and trajectories based on Shakespearean tragedies?

2) When it comes to requirement 2 (Dany is “torn by an internal struggle”, namely peace versus violence or companionship versus rulership or home versus the Iron Throne, all of which also drive the external conflicts. Choosing the second options will lead to her demise), the essayist is right to point out that those dilemmas exist. However, they portray Dany’s struggles in a way that makes it seem that 1) there are “good” options (peace/companionship/home) and “bad” options (violence/rulership/Iron Throne) for Dany to take and that 2) choosing the latter ones will lead to Dany’s downfall. There is a lot to question about these assumptions.

2.1) When it comes to Dany’s conflict between peace versus violence, the essayist takes everything that Adam Feldman’s series of essays “Untangling the Meereenese Knot” says for granted when it shouldn’t be. I’m not going to delve into all the problems/inaccuracies/double standards with those essays. For our purposes here, it’s enough to say that they: 1) dichotomize Dany’s identity into mhysa and mother of dragons to argue that the former represents her desire for peace and the latter her violent impulses; 2) assert that the peace was real; 3) conclude that, by rejecting the peace, the Dany of ASOS is gone and from now on she’s going to be a very different person because she will have chosen to follow her violent impulses.

As already argued before, though, 1) Dany’s character can’t be dichotomized in that way because these facets - mhysa and mother of dragons - actually complement each other (as @yendany made clear in her most recent meta). Because Dany was the mother of dragons, she was able to act as mhysa way before she was hailed as such, which we see, for instance, when she kills the Astapori slave masters to free the Unsullied. Both of these identities manifest Dany’s fierceness when faced with great injustices. This is why, in ADWD, locking her dragon children prevented Dany from properly defending her human children… She needs to integrate both parts of her identity to be able to protect them. But Feldman couldn’t recognize that because 2) he accepts the peace deal that Dany made with the slavers as valid. Doing so would mean, however, ignoring the re-enslavement and suffering of thousands of marginalized people, which GRRM continually emphasizes in Dany's and Tyrion’s final ADWD chapters (read more about this here and here) to hammer home that the peace is false for prioritizing the slavers over them. Finally, 3) Dany is not a violent person nor does she have violent impulses. Feldman decontextualized the moments in which Dany uses violence from the standards of her time and place (read more about this here and here and here and here) to portray them in a more negative light than how they are actually meant to be viewed. Additionally, he conveniently left out all the moments in which Dany chooses to be merciful, from when she spares Yunkai and most of the Meereenese slavers (she didn’t do the same in Astapor because she was outnumbered and needed to protect her retinue) to when she doesn’t punish people who threaten or disrespect her to her face (such an envoy who spits at her face, a boy who tries to attack her, Xaro after he says he wishes he’d killed her), to give a few examples (read more about this in @rainhadaenerys's comprehensive meta). I would argue that Dany’s conflict is less about peace versus violence and more accurately about her tendency to be merciful versus her desire for justice (which, especially in the particular context she finds herself in, is unattainable without violence). In fact, I would go further and say that it’s distasteful to characterize Dany as someone “violent” or with “violent impulses” when, so far, she’s only used violence to a) defend and protect victims of (physical and systemic) violence and/or b) in circumstances in which her actions are no more problematic than those of any other leader of her world. And yet, the essayist portrays them as if they were (“To choose indiscriminate destruction over peace tends toward the evil”).

It’s also convenient that the essayist only talks about fire negatively (“Dany wields unmatched power that can “make or unmake at a word”—Dracarys—villages, armies and kingdoms”, “in the words of Maester Aemon, “Fire consumes.””) when it's also connected to life, rebirth, healing and enlightenment. And dracarys in particular is explicitly associated with freedom by the narrative while Dany frees the Unsullied (her decision, in turn, is associated with her future actions in the War for the Dawn). But acknowledging these things would make it harder to portray Dany as a Shakespearean tragic hero.

2.2) When it comes to Dany’s conflict between companionship and rulership … Again, the dilemma exists, but not in the way that the essayist presents it. What I mean is that they go out of their way to make it seem that Dany’s loneliness was the main factor driving her decisions, such as the liberation of the Unsullied (“She feels for the forced loneliness of the Unsullied, and it is loneliness that convinces her to commit violence in the plaza to free the slaves—just as it is in loneliness she chooses violence amidst the Dothraki Sea.”)... And not, y’know, her compassion and sense of justice (“Why do the gods make kings and queens, if not to protect the ones who can’t protect themselves?”), which are rarely acknowledged in this essay even though it’s arguably the main aspect of Dany's characterization. Why does the essayist do that? Because, since they are arguing that Dany is a tragic hero, they need to present Dany’s loneliness both as the reason why she achieved greatness and as the reason that will lead to her demise when she (supposedly) starts distrusting people, closing herself off and choosing violence (“the moral conviction she feels for her abolitionist crusade is part of the greatness that is also her tragic trait [...] She feels for the forced loneliness of the Unsullied, and it is loneliness that convinces her to commit violence in the plaza to free the slaves—just as it is in loneliness she chooses violence amidst the Dothraki Sea.”). As I said, however, doing so requires downplaying Dany’s compassion, as well as ignoring the fact that she does not close herself off to people in ADWD, nor is there any sign that this was seeded as a serious issue for her in future books (especially considering that her governance is meant to be contrasted with Cersei, the character who actually does close herself off to people. But more on that below when I talk about why Dany doesn’t fit the essayist’s third requirement).

Also, singling out rulership in particular as a reason for Dany to feel alone is conveniently selective (“Returning to Westeros means ruling Westeros - and ruling means loneliness”). All the major characters have reasons to feel lonely and isolated in their society because GRRM chose to focus on the underdogs. Their social standings are already enough to make all of them feel alone. As he said, “Tyrion of course is a dwarf which has its own challenges. Dany is an exile, powerless, penniless, at the mercy of other people, and Jon is a bastard”. You can also throw in Arya for being a young girl struggling to adhere to gender norms and Bran for being a disabled child. And that is just one example… There are a myriad of reasons and situations for various characters to feel lonely and isolated, but the essayist specifically chose to talk about how rulership causes that for Dany. And, considering that the essayist thinks that Dany’s rulership -> growing isolation and loneliness -> her ultimate downfall, it really feels like they’re punishing Dany narratively for acquiring and wielding power. Which leads me to the next point...

2.3) When it comes to Dany’s conflict between home and the Iron Throne, I would argue that that’s not really a conflict. Dany (like any feudal leader) believes she needs to retake the Iron Throne to stay in her homeland just like the Starks believe they need to retake Winterfell to stay in their homeland. Whether Dany finds herself at home in Westeros or not is irrelevant to that fact. And yet, the essayist only presents the former as being in the wrong for fighting for her birthright. However, as it's been already explained before, the Starks’ claim to the North isn’t morally righteous. They only have dominance over the North because, for thousands of years, their ancestors fought against, drove away and killed most of its indigenous population (the Children of the Forest), as well as multiple families who were also vying for control over the region. With that in mind, Dany fighting for her birthright isn’t any more problematic than the Starks enjoying the lands and privileges obtained with conquest and bloodshed, as well as the labor of peasants. One could argue that GRRM may have a double standard against Dany in this case (though it's been argued before that he doesn't intend to present the Iron Throne as a source of greed and evil like how fandom presents it) because of the order of the events and depending on whether he holds Dany accountable for more problems for waging her war than the Starks for having done/doing essentially the same thing, but that’s not what the essayist is doing. Instead, they a) take for granted that Dany is doing the wrong thing for fighting for the Iron Throne ("To delay the call of the North and continue to divide an already weakened realm is to give into dark desires.") and b) center all their speculations about her eventual demise based on that belief.

Ultimately, I would argue that none of these three dilemmas - peace versus violence, companionship versus rulership, home versus the Iron Throne - come with easy answers. When it comes to the first conflict, it’s important that Dany prioritizes the lives of the slaves over the privileges of the masters, but that causes more war and bloodshed. When it comes to the second and the third conflicts, it’s worth noting that the first options (which the essayist presents as the “good” ones) are actually the selfish paths for Dany to take. After all, she would rather live a normal life with a husband (companionship) in the house with the red door (home) - “She would rather have drifted in the fragrant pool all day, eating iced fruit off silver trays and dreaming of a house with a red door, but a queen belongs to her people, not to herself”. But, as the quote shows, instead of choosing these selfish goals, Dany accepts the burden of rulership and the fight for the Iron Throne because of her duty towards her people and ancestors. And, while this path leads to war (either in Meereen or in Westeros, though the former is morally righteous and the latter, while not inherently justified, is not any more problematic than Robb fighting for Northern independence), power is also the means through which Dany can make changes that benefit the common people.

With all that said, it’s ironic that Dany fans are often accused of flattening her character or her choices when it’s actually her detractors or “neutrals” (like the essayist) who do so - they are dead set on portraying Dany’s available options as either “good” or “bad” and on speculating that choosing the latter ones will lead to her downfall, but the text actually gives her conflicts in which all the options have their pros and cons.

The essayist also makes a mistake that isn’t really up to interpretation or difference in opinions. They say that, in AGOT Daenerys III, “after admitting this difficult truth [that Viserys will never take back the Seven Kingdoms], Dany assumes the goal for herself (and at the time, her son)”. That is incorrect. In AGOT Daenerys V, moments before Viserys’s death, Dany says she would have allowed him to have the dragon eggs because “he is my brother … and my true king”. Jorah doesn’t think she should still acknowledge him as such, but she tells him that “he is all I have”. So no, Dany hadn’t assumed the goal for herself at that point, she only took over his campaign in her son's name (not hers) after Viserys's death. But the essayist needs to exaggerate Dany's ambition to justify her demise, since they speculate that “in that hurt and betrayal, all that will be left - she will think - is the crown”.

3) When it comes to requirement 3 (prophecies and “influential accidents” - that is, events that “have roots in a character’s motivation”, as well as “the sense of ‘if only this had not happened’” - will “heighten and exaggerate [tragic flaws that] already [exist]” in Dany), the problem is not in cherry-picking or in double standards against Dany, but rather in the essayist’s lack of knowledge about Dany’s characterization. It’s simply not true that Dany’s distrust of people grows to the point that she closes herself off to them. Instead, I would argue that Dany is actually portrayed as someone with a healthy distrust of people. We know from the books (1, 2, 3, 4) that she finds it unlikely that Barristan, Grey Worm or Missandei would ever betray her, but that she doesn’t think she can rely entirely upon Reznak, the Green Grace, the Shavepate, Hizdahr and Daario. Do Dany’s doubts about these people’s intentions lead her to, as the essayist says, “push people away”? No. Through almost all of ADWD, she (wrongly, though understandably) believes that "until [freedmen and former masters stand together, Meereen will know no peace". Accordingly, Dany is willing to listen to the counsel of all of her advisors (both the ones she trusts and the ones she distrusts) to ensure that she makes informed decisions. To give some examples:

Dany allows “well spoken and gently born” people (i.e., not the typical condition of most former slaves, who are glad that Dany freed them) to sell themselves into slavery and imposes a tax each time men chose to do so like how it happened in Astapor (ASOS Daenerys VI). By making this decision, she agreed with both Missandei and Daario.

Dany employs the Unsullied to ask the Blue Graces if someone showed up with a sword wound and to ask butchers and herdsmen who’s been gelding goats (ADWD Daenerys I). By making this decision, she disagreed with Barristan.

Dany chooses not to punish any noble in response to the murder of Stalwart Shield and only increases the amount of gold for whoever gives information about the Sons of the Harpy (ADWD Daenerys I). By making this decision, she agreed with Reznak and disagreed with the Shavepate.

Dany gives up on banning the tokar and wears it herself (ADWD Daenerys I). By making this decision, she agreed with the Green Grace.

Dany (rightly) refuses to reopen the fighting pits for a while until she later relents in the name of the peace with the Meereenese nobles (ADWD Daenerys I, II, III, VI). By making this decision, she disagreed with Hizdahr, Reznak, the Green Grace and the Shavepate and agreed with Missandei.

Dany delays the choice of a husband until it becomes necessary later (ADWD Daenerys I). By making this decision, she disagreed with Reznak, the Shavepate and the Green Grace.

Dany chooses to pay the shepherds for the animals that they say their dragons ate (ADWD Daenerys I). By making this decision, she disagreed with Reznak.

Dany pays Hazzea’s father the blood price (i.e., one hundred times the worth of a lamb) for her death, lays her bones to rest in the Temple of the Graces and promises to pay for his children each year so they shall not want (ADWD Daenerys II). By making this decision, she disagreed with the Shavepate.

Dany allows the Shavepate to torture the wineseller and his daughters for information about the Sons (ADWD Daenerys II). By making this decision, she agreed with the Shavepate.

Dany imposes a blood tax on the noble families to pay for a new watch led by the Shavepate, takes the gold and the stores of food of any nobleman who wishes to leave the city and keeps two children from each pyramid as hostages instead of letting the nobles go unpunished after nine freedmen were killed by the Sons (ADWD Daenerys II). By making this decision, she agreed with the Shavepate and disagreed with Reznak.

Dany has Barristan and Groleo and his captains and sailors to inspect Xaro’s ships (ADWD Daenerys III). By making this decision, she agreed with Barristan.

Dany chooses not to go to Westeros despite being offered ships to do so (ADWD Daenerys III). By making this decision, she disagreed with Barristan.

Dany doesn’t kill her child hostages despite the Sons’ ongoing attacks (ADWD Daenerys IV). By making this decision, she agreed with the Green Grace and disagreed with the Shavepate.

Dany agrees to marry Hizdahr if he’s able to give her ninety days of peace in Meereen (ADWD Daenerys IV). By making this decision, she agreed with Hizdahr, the Green Grace and Reznak and disagreed with the Shavepate, Barristan, Missandei and Daario.

Dany refuses to gather the masters and kill them indiscriminately (ADWD Daenerys IV). By making this decision, she disagreed with Daario.

Dany doesn’t allow the Shavepate to continue his tortures due to their unreliable results (ADWD Daenerys V). By making this decision, she agreed with Hizdahr and disagreed with the Shavepate.

Dany refuses to use her dragons in battle (ADWD Daenerys V). By making this decision, she agreed with Reznak.

Dany decides not to take the field against Yunkai (ADWD Daenerys V). By making this decision, she agreed with the Shavepate and disagreed with Barristan.

Dany brings the food to the Astapori refugees instead of sending someone else to do it (ADWD Daenerys VI). By making this decision, she disagreed with Reznak, the Shavepate and Barristan.

Dany burns the dead among the Astapori refugees, bathes an old man and shames her men into helping her (ADWD Daenerys VI). By making this decision, she disagreed with Barristan.

Dany refuses to allow Hizdahr’s mother and sisters to inspect her womb and to wash Hizdahr’s feet before he washes hers (ADWD Daeneerys VI). By making this decision, she disagreed with the Green Grace and Reznak.

Dany decides to marry Hizdahr by Ghiscari rites and to wear a white tokar fringed with pearls (ADWD Daenerys VI). By making this decision, she agreed with the Green Grace and Reznak.

Dany allows Hizdahr to reopen the fighting pits (ADWD Daenerys VI). By making this decision, she agreed with Hizdahr, the Green Grace and Reznak.

Dany goes along with a peace agreement with the Yunkish slavers in which she’ll let Yunkai and Astapor reinstall slavery if they leave Meereen intact (ADWD Daenerys VI). By making this decision, she agreed with Hizdahr.

Dany holds court in order to, among other reasons, meet the Westerosi men that came over from the Windblown (ADWD Daenerys VII). By making this decision, she agreed with Daario.

Dany doesn’t accept Quentyn’s marriage proposal because she doesn’t want to abandon her people (ADWD Daenerys VII). By making this decision, she disagreed with Barristan.

Dany doesn’t ride a horse in a tokar to meet Hizdahr (ADWD Daenerys VII). By making this decision, she agreed with Missandei.

Dany decides not to sound out the Company of the Cats (even though she wanted to) because Barristan says he's untrustworthy (ADWD Daenerys VIII). By making this decision, she agreed with Barristan.

Dany attends the reopening of the pits (ADWD Daenerys IX). By making this decision, she disagreed with Missandei.

Dany allows the Brazen Beasts to guard her because she wants to show that she trusts them so that her people can trust them as well (ADWD Daenerys IX). By making this decision, she disagreed with Barristan.

Dany prevents Tyrion and Penny from fighting against lions with wooden swords. By making this decision, she disagreed with Hizdahr.

I didn’t include all of Dany’s decisions because she makes many of them on her own and/or without someone explicitly supporting them or opposing them (in fact, many of the ones above were made without any advisor giving her their feedback, but I listed them if they’re seen agreeing or disagreeing with her onpage anyway). That being said, note that Reznak is the one that Dany is most suspicious of (because he perfectly fits the description of one of the treasoners), but that five of her decisions follow his recommendations, in contrast to Barristan (the knight who she actually trusts and who keeps all her secrets) only having his advice followed twice. Also note that Dany “trusted Skahaz more than she trusted Hizdahr”, but she agreed with the former three times and disagreed with him eight times, in contrast to having agreed with the latter four times and disagreed with him twice. The list clearly shows that Dany listens to everyone’s feedback (including from people she distrusts), considers it carefully, makes her own decisions and handles dissent extremely well. Her actions reflect her own words (“A queen must listen to all. [...] One voice may speak you false, but in many there is always truth to be found”, “It seems to me that a queen who trusts no one is as foolish as a queen who trusts everyone”).

There is, however, one character who is seen only listening to people who agree with her and who distrusts and closes herself off to almost everyone - Cersei Lannister. And it’s especially worth noting that Cersei is meant to be “directly contrasted” with Dany, that the author was “doing point and counterpoint” with them and that each of them is meant to show “a different approach to how a woman would rule in a male dominated, medieval-inspired fantasy world”. In other words, Dany and Cersei are narrative foils, but Cersei’s traits are being transferred to Dany in this essay.

Also, I could just as easily create an entire narrative about how Sansa will end up closing herself off to people based on what we see on canon. She thought she could trust Joffrey, but she ultimately couldn’t. She thought she could trust Cersei, but she ultimately couldn’t. She trusted Sandor, but he left her. She tried to trust the Tyrells, but they ultimately disposed of her after she was no longer necessary. She tried to rely on Dontos, but he was a disappointment and was ultimately murdered. She doesn’t trust Littlefinger, but she needs to stick to his side because she has no better option. She considered telling the Vale lords her identity, but she doesn’t trust them. All of this feeds into Sansa’s distrust of others and will lead to tragic consequences. Indeed, as Sansa herself says, "In life, the monsters win". I bet that the essayist would find this whole speculation biased considering that they favor Sansa's character. But then, why is only Dany singled out as the one who is going to meet her demise even though it’s made clear that she continues to trust people through and through?

The essayist needs to say that Dany starts distrusting people to an unhealthy degree (“As Dany gains more power, [...] her focus on the treasons causes her to push people away, widening the gap between rulership and companionship”; ”The more power she gains, the greater her isolation and likely her fear of betrayal. The fear of betrayal is, of course, human. But GRRM has stated that he likes to turn dramatic situations up to 11, which is necessary to create the Shakespearean tragic hero. Dany’s fear must be larger than life.”), as well as to judge her campaign to take back the Seven Kingdoms based on double standards (“Dany’s great sin within the story’s moral order will have been focusing on the war for Westeros against Aegon VI before she turns to the enemy of the North”) compared to the Starks. If they didn’t do so, there wouldn’t be a reason to justify Dany’s demise. If they didn’t do so, the entire speculation that she’s a Shakespearean tragic hero falls apart. But saying that something is true doesn’t necessarily make it true, you need to provide the textual evidence (which they barely do … They assume that the reader will take almost everything they say for granted. After all, since there’s a prophecy foretelling that Dany will be betrayed three times, of course she’s going to distrust people way too much from now on).

There’s also another aspect of Dany’s relationship with prophecies that the essayist portrays inaccurately. They say that “the effect of this prophecy on Daenerys is multifaceted” for “[promising] greatness” (which, along with the also inaccurate statement that “part of Dany’s pursuit of the Iron Throne is born from a sense of destiny”, implies that Dany wants to be great or that she thinks of herself as great, none of which are true) and pushing her “further from the people who surround her”. I already questioned the latter statement, and the former is inaccurate too. After all, Dany has doubts that there are men in Westeros waiting for the Targaryens to return. The birth of the dragons has to do with the fact that Dany was able to put two and two together with clues from dragon dreams and Mirri's words, not because she thinks she's exceptional. Dany is not really sure that the red comet was meant for her. She followed its direction because the other paths weren't reliable and, even in Qarth, she's unsure that it was meant to guide her to success. Then she never thinks about it again. I'd expect otherwise from someone who thinks they're exceptional. Dany is surprised when told by Quaithe that she's the reason why magic is increasing in the world and never thinks or brags about it after their interaction. I'd expect otherwise from someone who thinks they're exceptional. Dany doesn't think she won any victories in the House of the Undying, she credits Drogon for burning the Undying Ones. She only allows Jhiqui to add a bell to the end of her braid because "the Dothraki would esteem her all the more for a few bells in her hair". Dany refuses to sit on the throne inside the Great Pyramid's audience chamber and chooses to sit on a simple ebony bench that the Meereenese think does "not befit a queen". Dany refuses the offer to have a statue in her image to replace the bronze harpy in the Plaza of Purification. I'd expect otherwise from someone who thinks they're exceptional. Dany is highly self-critical and, later in ADWD, thinks that she "was as clean as she was ever going to be" after taking a bath because she holds herself accountable for the upcoming slaughter in the opening of the fighting pits. I'd expect different from someone that thinks they're exceptional. Dany doesn’t think that the people who came to the reopening of the pits wanted to see her - “it was my floppy ears they cheered, not me”. I'd expect different from someone that thinks they're exceptional. Most of Dany's titles (the Unburnt, Mother of Dragons, Mhysa, Azor Ahai, etc) are given to her by other people, they're not self-proclaimed (not that there's a problem if they were, I'm only saying it to reiterate that Dany doesn't think she's exceptional). The ones that she assumes on her own are the ones that anyone who believes in birthright (i.e., everyone in her time and place, regardless of family, regardless of whether they're Targaryens) would assume.

4) When it comes to requirement 4 (Dany will (according to the essayist’s speculations) take actions that produce “exceptional calamity” and her demise will be “her own choice and doing”) … Well, we now enter the realm of speculation. It’s not impossible that Dany “will feel like a villain to the Westerosi, as she burns their villages and crops ahead of a hard winter” in the future. The problem here, once again, is in the double standards. Look at the way the essayist describes the likely reascendance of the Starks in the upcoming books - “With the death of “good” characters like Ned, the injury of innocents and moments such as the Red Wedding, ASOIAF as a story is not concerned with justice. But as the story progresses, we see that the way Ned ruled his people and raised his children contrasts with characters like Tywin and his methods. Much of the North seems to continue to rally behind the idea of the Starks, some with less “honorable” methods than others, while Tywin’s legacy begins to fall apart. Like in Shakespeare’s tragic world, there appears to be an order that arcs towards a higher idea of goodness that instills a dramatic satisfaction”. Like I said above when I questioned requirement 2, the Starks’ claim to the North is no more justified than Dany’s to the Seven Kingdoms. They have the advantage of having had their rule normalized throughout the thousands of years they ruled the North, but it doesn’t change the fact that, because they’re feudal lords, they still maintain a system rigged in favor of the nobles that promotes social inequality and extreme lack of social mobility. It doesn’t change the fact that there's no righteous form of feudalism. But only Dany is criticized in that sense by the essayist - “By nature, power breeds inequality, when one party has the ability to decide the fate of another. That inequality creates distance. As a queen Dany wields absolute power over the rest of her subjects and her court”. Which is pretty infuriating not only because the Starks are also morally grey in the sense that the essayist describes, but also because GRRM specifically mentioned that Daenerys is the ruler "who wants equality for everyone, she wants to be at the same level as her people". Additionally, if Ned left a legacy that motivated his people to fight against his enemies, so did Dany with the former slaves. But the essayist needs to ignore all of that to paint Dany as a Shakespearean tragic hero.

Even if we don’t take into account what TWOIAF reveals about the Starks’ ancestors, the main story itself often paints House Stark’s actions in a negative light. We see a peasant spitting at the mention of the Starks and saying that things were better with King Aerys II in power. We're told that Northmen looking for Jaime on Edmure’s orders burned a village called Sallydance and were guilty of rape and murder. It’s no wonder that the High Sparrow mentions the wolves along with the lions as threats to the septas. Also, thousands of soldiers died indirectly because of Robb’s decisions, as well as lots of people who remained north and became vulnerable to raping and pillaging due to his inability to hold Winterfell. And finally, when winter comes, the smallfolk will be affected by the actions of the northmen, who (like Dany might do in the future) already helped to disrupt the harvest and to leave the continent short on food. And yet, why is their future success framed as “an order that arcs towards a higher idea of goodness”? Why is Dany the only one who is said to be “giv[ing] into dark desires” by “divid[ing] an already weakened realm” when the Starks (framed as the heroes in the essay) did the same thing? This double standard gets infuriating when one remembers that Dany is the one fighting a war in the name of the disenfranchised (even though she is not connected to them by blood or lands or oath of fealty and doesn’t gain anything by helping them), while the Starks are (and will be, if they want to retake Winterfell) fighting a war because of personal injury (which, sympathetic as it may be, doesn’t justify the damage that they caused to the smallfolk). It gets even more infuriating when, as @rakharo pointed out to me, one remembers that, while Dany is trying to right the wrongs of the Valyrians by ending slavery in Slaver’s Bay, none of the Starks have acknowledged, much less tried to make amends for injustices perpetrated by the First Men against the Children of the Forest. It gets even more infuriating when one remembers that Aegon the Conqueror united Westeros in preparation for the War for the Dawn (something that GRRM himself confirmed), while the Starks’ ancestors conquered the North solely because of their greed. That's why Dany’s story can’t be effective as a tragedy: she’d be punished for starting to do what everyone else was doing after doing more than almost everyone else was doing.

5) When it comes to requirement 5 (Dany “[rose] high in position” and is “an exceptional being”, which sets her apart as a character that fits the mold of the Shakespearean tragedy because her reversal of fortune will highlight “the greatness and piteousness of humanity”), again, we’re in the realm of speculation. But there are some things to question as well. First, the essayist validates the criticisms that Dany “too easily ascends to a position of power” by using them as proof that she’s a tragic character. But that’s not really true, which becomes clear with a few comparisons: the Starks lost their father, mother and older brother throughout the story because of the Lannisters, which Dany also did; but her losses go beyond them: she also lost another brother, her first husband and her first child. The Starks had their direwolves given to them, Dany had to use her intuition and then literally walk into a fire to birth her dragons. Aegon the Conqueror used dragons to take Westeros, Dany conquered three cities without barely using hers. Jon Snow’s conflict in ADWD involves conciliating the Free Folk and the Night’s Watch after he makes decisions favoring the former group, while Dany’s involves conciliating the freedmen and the slavers after she makes decisions favoring the former group, which has a worldwide impact; Jon’s conflict has relatively low stakes (because it hasn’t involved the Others so far), Dany’s conflict leads to “half the world” wanting her dead. As these examples show, Dany suffered more losses than the Starks. Dany had to do a lot more than the Starks to find her animal companions. Dany became a conqueror primarily because of her military strategies and resourcefulness without relying on dragonfire like her ancestor. Dany faced greater opposition than her male counterpart Jon so far. As we can see, gaining power and retaining it has not been easy for Dany at all. Every single one of her accomplishments has been earned. But it sure is interesting that Dany’s supposed future tragedies must stem from her actions, but that her victories aren’t given the proper credit and acknowledged as being a result of what she also did as well.

And then the essayist declares something even more inaccurate: that Dany “overcame each obstacle that came her way” and that “Robb and Jon paid for their mistakes while Dany did not” (which, to the essayist, is evidence that “Dany’s fall is meant to stand in contrast as something grander than just one slip-up”).

First of all, Dany clearly did not overcome every obstacle that came her way. Saying so means ignoring all of her ADWD storyline (and it’s funny how Dany's detractors go from saying that she’s overpowered and hasn’t suffered consequences to accusing her of being a bad ruler precisely because she dealt with the negative consequences of her choices, lol). To recap, Dany had an indirect part in the wars outside Meereen because she left the Yunkish slavers’ wealth intact, which leads to terrible consequences - multiple city-states and sellsword companies joining forces against her, Astapor’s fall, the pale mare’s outbreak, the emergence of refugees from Astapor outside her city and the upcoming Battle of Fire. Dany had an indirect role in the wars inside Meereen because she left most of the Meereenese slavers alive with most of their wealth intact, which leads to terrible consequences - the Sons of the Harpy’s attacks and dozens of freedmen’s deaths. Additionally, Dany had an indirect role in Hazzea’s death because Drogon was allowed to roam freely and she had no way to train him or her brothers. All these problems culminate in Dany agreeing with a peace deal that, as already explained here, was inherently unjust for prioritizing the slavers over the freedmen. Dany had to learn that, as much as she wants peace and to plant trees, there are situations in which she can’t be merciful because violence really is the only way to achieve justice for the disenfranchised. (On the flip side, that’s one of the reasons why I’m critical of the theory that Dany accidentally burns King’s Landing. When she was merciful, as I just listed, great tragedies occurred (which is fine, it was a realistic exploration of what happens when you abolish slavery and try to do good). When she used fire and blood, great tragedies will occur too? Even though she would be acting just like the Starks or any other feudal lord by fighting for her birthright? The theory narratively punishes Dany in a way that it doesn't do with the Starks, which is why it's no wonder that it was created by someone with Stark/Stannis biases. Additionally, it validates the common belief that Dany is only meant to be a wartime queen, even though she’s already showed that she’s a good peacetime ruler.)

Second, is dying the only way to pay for one’s mistakes (considering that only Robb and Jon are listed as examples of characters who did)? I don’t think so. Consider Sansa. Didn’t she pay for the mistake of going to Cersei to tell her of Ned’s plan? I would say she did. I would say the author agrees - “Sansa was the least sympathetic of the Starks in the first book; she has become more sympathetic, partly because she comes to accept responsibility for her part in her father's death”. Similarly, Dany had to accept her indirect responsibility for the tragedies that I just listed (Hazzea, forgive me; No marriage would ever bring them back to life, but if a husband could help end the slaughter, then she owed it to her dead to marry.; “I should’ve gone to Astapor. [...] I am the queen. It was my place to know.”; “What kind of mother has no milk to feed her children?”). I would argue that Dany and Sansa both paid for her mistakes, which were acknowledged, made them suffer and influenced their character developments. But the essayist needs to say that Dany didn’t pay for them (or that she had an easy rise to power) to help to paint her as a Shakespearean tragic hero.

6) Now that the essayist’s five requirements have all been questioned, I would also like to mention positive prophecies and speculations related to Dany that are never brought up in this essay.

First, Dany is AA/PTWP/SWMTW. That was heavily foreshadowed (read more about it here) and built up to and, if it doesn’t happen, it frankly would be bad writing. After all, haven’t readers praised GRRM for the foreshadowing of Ned’s death (e.g., a stag having killed the mother direwolf in the beginning of AGOT)? Haven’t readers praised GRRM for the foreshadowing of the Red Wedding (which we see from Tyrion’s to Theon’s to Dany’s chapters)? And yet, the essayist thinks that Dany’s death will cause “the forces [to] become more even, making victory less sure, or the Others surpass the side of the living in strength” and that “the White Walkers gain Drogon, becoming one-on-one but with the White Walkers having the larger dragon.”

Second, Dany and Bran both have dreams in AGOT leading up to their magical awakening. Bran needs to fly to escape from the “cold” of the darkness below, while Dany needs to run from the “icy breath behind”. Both of these dreams culminate with Bran and Dany learning to fly and accepting their magical destinies, which will be important in the War for the Dawn. And yet, the essayist thinks that “by understanding that the concept of warmth is tied to companionship, we can understand that the cold, “icy breath” must represent the opposite: loneliness” to justify Dany’s demise. Instead, it's clear (especially considering the parallels with Bran) that "icy breath" is an allusion to the Others. But they can't acknowledge that Dany will have a crucial role in the War for the Dawn, otherwise their entire speculation falls apart.

Third, Quaithe was presented as the third of the three Qartheen envoys (after Pyat Pree and Xaro) that came to find Dany in Vaes Tolorro, which heavily implies that she breaks the norm and is the one person that Dany can trust. And yet, the essayist takes for granted that Quaithe’s “narrative connection to betrayal is already established”.

Fourth, Dany might as well be the prophesied betrayer, not the one who’s betrayed by three people (after all, she’s already been betrayed by more than three people - Jorah, Mirri, Pyat Pree, Xaro, Brown Ben, the person that gave her the poisoned locusts, etc). It would fit with the pattern of Dany being an active participant in the prophecies rather than a passive one (e.g. Dany is AA/PTWP, not the one who gives birth to the AA/PTWP or the one who dies as a sacrifice to AA/PTWP) even though, at first, the readership is expected to think otherwise. And yet, the essayist takes for granted that Dany will be betrayed because otherwise their entire speculation falls apart.

Fifth, Dany is foreshadowed to have a positive relationship with Jon because “the blue flower” from the “wall of ice” filled the air with “sweetness”. And yet, the essayist needs to say that Dany "[will push] Jon away [...] from fear of betrayal and hurt” and from worries that he might be a “usurper” (nevermind that they are mischaracterizing Dany as someone overfocused on retaking the Iron Throne and who closes herself off due to prophecies, none of which are not true, as I already showed above) because otherwise their entire speculation falls apart.

7) Finally, I would also like to ask: what’s the point of giving Dany a storyline like this? Not only because it would be unearned due to the double standards and the changes that would have to occur in her characterization, but also because Dany has a special place in the narrative. She is 1) one of the two women (along with Asha) claiming power in her own right and the only one that we actually got to see rule, 2) one of three Chosen Ones (along with Bran and Jon) and the only female one, 3) one of two POV revolutionaries (along with Jon) and the only female one (and the one whose storyline arguably has the most political messages since she’s fighting against human slavery), 4) one of two POV female rulers (along with Cersei) and the only one who’s been depicted as competent (because she subverts the Good Princess Evil Queen dichotomy), 5) one of two Targaryen conquerors (three, if Young Griff does indeed take Westeros) and the only female one - “Aegon the Conqueror with teats”, 6) the only major mother who isn’t sure to be doomed and/or hasn’t gone mad, 7) one of two Targaryen queens regnant (along with Rhaenyra) and the only remaining Targaryen woman who gets to have power after a long line of Targaryen women - Rhaenyra herself, but also Rhaena, Aerea, Rhaella, Daenerys (Alysanne’s daughter), Rhaenys the Queen Who Never Was, Baela, Rhaena of Pentos, Daena - who were disempowered. GRRM already has a terrible history with female leaders in particular. If he causes the downfall of another one (especially one who is also one of the five main protagonists) for such unearned reasons like the ones that the essayist laid out, there would also be sexist implications. It would make the only she-king that we saw wielding power onpage overly defined by violence and destruction in a way kings don't have to be depending on their actions, it makes the only competent POV female ruler look incompetent in comparison to the other POV male rulers and it makes her conquest a disaster while the other male Targaryen conqueror (two, if Young Griff takes Westeros) gets to succeed. And yet, death by childbirth is the only speculation that the essayist calls out as problematic (“death by childbirth is a uniquely biologically female phenomenon and would be punishing Daenerys for her sexuality”).

8) What I find insidious about essays like this one is that they pretend to be unbiased (I do not argue for the death of Daenerys as a judgement on her ethical/moral goodness as a character nor of the world she inhabits. I argue it on the strength of her characterization and story, that she should be able to encompass such intensity and greatness as to be considered as complex as all these other single-name headliners in literature.) even though they really aren't. To recap, the essayist portrays Dany as someone with "violent" impulses even though she's a merciful person in general, accepts the peace deal with the slavers as valid even though it prioritizes the slavers' privileges over the lives of marginalized people, only talks about the negative connotations of fire, downplays Dany's compassion and sense of justice, argues that Dany is losing her ability to trust others even though she isn't, says that Dany is negatively affected by promises of greatness even though she isn't, argues that Dany had an easy rise to power and didn't pay for her mistakes even though she did, paints Dany's campaign to take the Iron Throne in a negative light without doing the same with the Starks having dominance over the North and ignores Dany's foreshadowing as AA/PTWP, as well as her special place in the narrative. So it’s not that Dany stans are unable to accept Dany’s mistakes and flaws, it’s that people who dislike her can’t understand her characterization or acknowledge the double standards against her or accept her particular place in the story. At the end of the day, an essay like this one is no better than jonsa metas mindlessly hating on Dany because, just like them, as @semperty and @niniane17 made clear, it also creates speculations with the intent of making Dany self-destruct and become irrelevant to pave the way for their preferred characters. The only difference is that it's more successful at appearing "neutral" to someone who doesn't remember what happened in the books very well, especially because Dany has become a polarizing character for a variety of reasons and it's easy to buy into the Appeal to Moderation fallacy.

Also, as I said before, the fact that these Twitter 'neutrals' all misunderstand Dany's characterization, downplay her struggles and judge her by different standards actually makes me somewhat hopeful that she's getting a better ending, because how can their speculations come true if they don't know Dany at all? But then, it's hard to trust GRRM.

[laufire]

Supernatural s2

I’m halfway through s3 already (technically a rewatch, but there were episodes I didn’t watch the first time around), so this post is a little overdue lol. At this rhythim the posts will overlap. Plus I’m hoping I can finish s4-5 during the holidays to see the ~intended ending~ before I have to slow down on the binge-watch. After that, a season a month sounds achievable AND won’t take longer than 2021 xD

ANYWAY.

-Overall, I’ve enjoyed it more than the first one, but at the same time I’ve found myself missing how... claustrophobic? Insular? Compact? That one was. s2 was about the world opening up just a little bit more, introducing new characters to the brothers’ life, etc. I do love the detail that this is something that can only have, narratively speaking, once John is dead. Again: this show gets abusive families, consciously or not.

-The foreshadowing is beautifully done. 15 seasons make for a lot of unintentional and ironic foreshadowing later on, I’m sure, but the purposeful foreshadowing is superb this season. About the crossroads deals, of course, but especially about John’s last words. I already knew he’d told Dean he might have to kill Sam (father of the year, seriously. Though I side-eye the fandom even more for always having acted as if this is only awful for Dean lol), so I was hyperaware of every single detail. My favourite moment was the absolute horror of hearing Gordon proudly, cheerfully relate how he murdered his sister when she became a vampire (which, btw, as someone that’s still bitter about what went down with the Gunn siblings on Angel, I found it healing to see something like that treated as a horror story).

-Speaking of Gordon: I unashamedly love his character lmfao. Sterling K. Brown is mesmerizing, always. At the same time, I have serious mixed feelings (especially after seeing his arc in full in s3) because man, if it isn’t a racist mess. I’ve mentioned this before, but it’s not exactly revolutionary that the first time we see the story from the monster’s POV (something I want the show to do! Often!), it’s when white monsters are stalked and brutalized by our first black hunter. Especifically a white woman, btw (although I’m happy to see Tara Maclay as a brunette vampire. I didn’t know I needed that in my life, but I did). And you can tell that the show thinks it’s just so SMART and FUNNY to have a ~racist black hunter!! I mean, the comment about how psychic kids would be “betraying their race” if they allied with demons?? FFS.

And ofc there’s the fact that he’s condemned for the exact same type of stuff that makes Dean be hailed as a hero lmfao. Though I won’t like, I love the moment where, faced with the comparison, Dean’s response is “I might be like you, I might not. But you’re the one tied up.” I love those kinds of character moments. As of s2 I officially have a love-hate relationship with Dean Winchester, I hate it here xDD

But still, on his own, Gordon is an amazing character (it’s one of the most frustrating things about the show, the greatness tainted by the bigotry :))). Charismatic, terrifying, and ofc superbly acted. Also, I love that the fact that he praised John (as opposed to every other hunter having a rockier relationship with him) is clearly supposed to be a red flag LMFAO.

-I enjoy how the seasons delves more deeply into Sam’s ~~dark origins, since it was my fave thing about him way back when. I’m already mourning the (as I suspect) lost of his powers, ngl. There’s a little more attention in how he tends to over-identify with supernatural creatures struggling with their ~dark sides too (bitch me too, the fuck xD), which I LOVE to see (among other reasons because at least in that way we get a little of their POV in the forefront lol). One of my favourites in that sense was the episode centered around the ghost-who-didn’t-know-she-was-ghost, played by Tricia Helfer. I clocked early one what was going on, but it was still very enjoyable, especially with Sam’s empathy with her (contrasted by Dean being a total bitch about it, btw. I can’t believe I still see post about how Dean is all heart/kindness/compassion/whatever the fuck. Dean is all about selective empathy and only when it conveniences him, pls).

I was more divided on the episode with Madison the werewolf, tbh. OTOH it put Sam in a better position, for a change xD. As the one willing to make The Hard Choices by fulfilling his promise to kill her because she was dangerous, even when Dean offered to ~take the burden from him. OTOH I hate that kind of thing lol. YOU GUYS KNOW A HUNTER PRO LIKE BOBBY, I BET HE COULD’VE FIGURED OUT SOMETHING TO CONTAIN HER A FEW NIGHTS A MONTH. Also, my immediate reaction was to compare this to when my man Angel had a crush on a werelady and helped her every month lmfao. But then, very few characters can withstand a comparison with Angel, in any sense :P

I also liked Sam’s subplot with his fellow demon-psychic kids, though I wish it’d lasted longer :/ (also: RME at the queer girl dying almost immediately AND her power being killing people, her girlfriend first of all, with her touch. The black guy was the last one to die at least...?). My fave was Ava, by far. I loved her since her reaction to helping Sam stealing a psychiatrist’s records was yelling “I’M AWESOME!!”. It made it easy to buy that someone that appeared so mundane, with her easy life and her fiance and whatnot, would become so power hungry and go off the rails, IMO.

BTW: RME at Dean being all “oh Sam is going too dark/becoming to cold” when Sam kills Jake. Jake ripped off his spine and killed him first!! It both amuses me and infuriates me all the times Dean tries to push Sam to be more like himself and then freaks out whenever Sam is not all sunshine and rainbows (while still remaining, IMO, far less cold than Dean himself. Besides, it’s not easy to be colder than Dean, lol).

Lastly, a little character detail I loved was when Sam was jealous about Dean being in the federal database but not himself lmfao. 

-I loved the new foreshadowing crumb with Sam finding out Mary knew the demon, too (information he’ll withhold from Dean, which I approve of LOL). I mean, I know exactly what’s up, I’ve watched most of s4 xD (also, what is UP with this family and making deals with demons. Everyone but Sam so far!! And then HE gets dragged for ~getting too close to one smh. Maybe lead by example!! Also also: yes, it was meant to be ambiguous, but I can’t help but notice the only kiss-pact -or further, depending to how close YED was to Lilith’s levels, since to make a deal with her you have to fuck xD- we didn’t see was the one that must’ve happened between John and YED. Cowards!! xD). Still. I’m so curious about her. Her resurrection is one of the main reasons I’m determined to make it to the later seasons, ngl.

-Another thing I LOVED about this season is how they used sibling relationships to parallel/foreshadow stuff about the brothers, the way s1 did often with fathers. I’ve already mentioned Gordon and his sister, but the others are not less brutal imo: Andy having to kill his evil twin, who wanted him all for himself (... Dean is that you xD); the little girl’s ghost who wanted her grand-niece to commit suicide to stay with her, and didn’t give in until her old sister agreed to die in her place. It was chilling. Also, at one point the parallel was between the brothers and a married couple (the ghost-who-didn’t-know-she-was-a-ghost) and asñdlfkajsf. I’m guessing they had fun with the shippers lol.

Speaking of the brothers’ relationship, this season also goes a little further in escalating the violence between them, when Dean punches Sam in the face and he refuses to respond (“you can hit me all you want, it won’t change anything”. Fuck), or when Dean again punches Sam after Sam was possessed by Meg ¬¬

-Going back to my love-hate relationship with Dean, lmfao. My biggest beef remains how much validation his POV gets from the narrative, granted or not; he’s one of the most irritating cases of protagonist-centered morality and I know it’s only going to get worse smh. At least this season it feels a little more balanced than in s1, with episodes like the one where the civilian Sam had tried to keep away dies halfway through the ep because Dean allowed him to get involved, for example. Still, it grates on me xD. The continuing prison rape jokes/demonic possession rape jokes (with Meg and Sam), his general grossness with women and his lack of sympathy for non-humans even when they’re not trying to hurt anyone don’t exactly help. Also, I often see him praised for some of his political views, a lot of which I agree with (his mistrust of cops, saying convicts don’t deserve to die no matter what they do), but when contrasted with his general attitude across the show it’s really grating ngl.

But then he has such AMAZING character details thrown in, that make me appreciate him as a POV character nonetheless, as much as I often want to curb stomp the guy xD. I loved his speech about how there’s no such thing as a dignified death. I love how he refused to come near his mother’s grave, both at the beginning and at the end of the episode (this show is like, the cure to DCCW’s shows false fuzzy sentimentality istg). I love his pop-culture references, like when Sam mentions Dean always thought OJ was the murderer or Dean jokes about freeing Katie Holmes from Scientology’s cult xD (sometimes it really hits you how old this show is lol). I enjoyed his Wishverse episode, and his lines after Sam dies/he sells his soul to save him (“I had one job”, “my life can mean something”) hit HARD.

But most of all? I LOVE how and why he starts losing respect for John. It’s so fucking cold and abrupt and makes so much sense!! Like, yes, part of it is John’s message about killing Sam (... again, father of the year!), but most of all it’s about John making a pact with a demon and dying TO SAVE DEAN (and probably, simply that he died at all. That shit de-mystifies anyone). IT’S SO FUCKING GREAT TO WATCH. “He spent his life chasing that demon. He was supposed to die fighting, not making a deal with the damn thing. That was supposed to be his legacy, not this." Damn, Dean xDD. The *contempt* with which he said that killed me.

I also love his inherently atheist vision of the world (even if yes, it’s extremely funny knowing this show has canon God and angels and shit -no Jesus Christ though, which I find endlessly funny-, or that they actually meet the archangel Gabriel in disguise xD. Either way, the episode with the fake angel and its foreshadowing was hilarious), his anti-destiny stance, and that it’s him and not John who gets to kill YED.

-I liked Ellen and Jo. Not LOVED, but I liked them. I keep fearing that secondary (especially female) characters will feel empty/shallow but the show keeps proving me wrong, even with one-episode wonders, and at first I wasn’t sure about them, but I was sold quickly. Partially because of the actresses, they both had this... humanizing, endearing quality? It worked really well.  I also loved the explicit contrast between John and Ellen’s parenting styles, with Ellen wanting Jo to return to school and be safe from the hunt, and Jo wanting something different. Also, I wouldn’t ship it if you paid me, but LOL at anyone who actually buys Dean sees Jo as a ~little sister just because MEG said that rme.

This show is just REALLY good when it comes to giving depth to a character with only a couple of brush strokes, which makes it all the more frustrating when they abruptly die or disappear to never be seen again/only once more (to abruptly die!) :)))

I was less sold on Ash; he was amusing, but having a Genius Hacker TM helping them out seemed like the beginning of increasingly giving the brothers ways of deux ex machina-ing them out of problems, when one of my favourite things about the show is seeing them creatively find ways out themselves. I like when they’re competent! Like with the multitude of codes they have to improvise plans, like in the episode where with two words through a lawyer they implemented a quick scheme so that Sam would escape from a police precinct. I like that stuff.

-I’m still so bitterly jealous about the dead man’s blood hurting vampires detail. SO BITTERLY JEALOUS. I love a lot of what this show does with its lore but that little bit is the worst offender. I want it so bad xD

[whirlybirdwhat]

AU where Morgan reign of terror traumatizes Coby and he leaves with Luffy and Zoro instead of becoming a marine.

ANON I LOVE YOU YOU HAVE INSPIRED ME!!!! I don’t know how to make this a comprehensive story yet so have some headcanons about 

~~REVOLUTIONARY COBY!!!~~~

Coby is disgusted by way marines are run

He has a “THIS ISNT JUSTICE” Revelation like in Marineford, but on a smaller scale. He sees how thin Zoro is, from being starved and crucified for saving a young, and how happy the people are now that Axe Hand is gone and is like - this isn’t the justice I wanted.

“I want to catch criminals, not harm innocent people.”

Coby starts thinking about his new companions and thinks Luffy’s rough and luffs feral, but he hasn’t hurt anyone. Axe Hand Morgan and his son have.

So Coby follows Luffy and Zoro into the great unknown.

He’s not entirely sure he wants to be a pirate however. Unlike everyone else he does have a moral compass.

“I don’t think I want to be a pirate.” He says after watching Zoro keep calling Luffy Captain.

 “Then be a bounty hunter? Go after whomever you want” – Zoro, who does not give a shit about Coby’s internal crisis, but wants to support him.

⁃Coby: “Huh. Okay”

⁃Cue nights where cobys just thinking about his future as he drifts in the waves with Zoro and Luffy being dumb idiots together and just heading for their dreams

HE doesn’t know if he wants to be a bounty hunter, because how can he tell which bounties are for genuine crimes and which are for people the government wants to kill?

Potential other au lmao coby becomes a bounty hunter

⁃At orange town, he panics at Buggy and hides - he doesn’t know how to fight, but he does get the key from chouchou the dog. He’s helping, in his own way.

⁃Zoro sees this and is like “NO. You need to learn how to fight cmon we’ll teach you.” Like Luffy, he has an aversion to people who cant stand up for themselves, but he likes Coby so he’s gonna help.

⁃So Zoro and Luffy tag team each other and teach coby how to fight. He learns a weird mix of swordsman ship and punching that really don’t go together, but its better than what he had.  

⁃In the meantime, Coby keeps on seeing all the places the marines dont reach and keeps losing his faith in the system. He starts wondering why the Marines are hailed as this awesome force when really a lot of the times they just abuse their power or do nothing to help people.

⁃At Syrup, he helps get Kaya to safety with Usopp, still unwilling to fight, but starting to regain his resolve to do something – to reclaim a dream thought lost.

⁃Coby’s disgusted at the Fullbuster guy on the Baratie and punches him. 

⁃“YOUR FIRST CRIME!” Luffy says, cheerfully. The chefs applaud. Go Coby.

⁃Now, Coby isn’t advancing as fast in training, because one, luffy and zoro (and Sanji, eventually) aren’t Garp, and two, he doesn’t have that drive anymore. Why does he want to be a Marine who punishes justice?

⁃But when Arlong shows up Coby figures out his new dream. He knows what he is going to do.

⁃“I’m gonna take down the Marines - they can’t be this corrupt forever, and how many people are just innocent people? I want to give the world justice again!”

Luffy doesn’t really care about anybody else, innocent or not, unless his crew cares, but Coby cares. He’s not a pirate, but maybe if the law isn’t right, being free to do as he wish shouldn’t incriminate him?

⁃THEN the Strawhats run into Vivi and Chopper and suddenly there are more caring people like him, and more evidence that the system is corrupt which he already knows but how can he change it. He’s able to fight off some men now, and helps fight off some of Wapols men and the Whiskey Peak people, but that isn’t enough.

⁃All his friends have goals that seem impossible but they are so sure they alone are going to reach it, even without the crew there. Coby doesn’t feel like he can do the same.

⁃But hen theres alabasta - He’s stronger now, can through a punch, hes more lean with more muscle. He helps fight, and maybe it doesn’t do much, maybe the man (Luffy) who opened his eyes to the world is still there bleeding out, but he did something.

⁃And Ace and Robin have a hint for him, for his dream.

⁃(Who is this, Ace asks, referring to Coby. He has no role on the ship, but Luffy is proud to call him my friend, and say he wants to change the world for the better. To bring back what Justice really is. Ace cringes at the thoughhht of Garp but hums, and says theres a group of people who will do that – The Revolutionaries. Look for them, Ace says, and leaves. They will help you)

⁃(Robin, who knows all, tells him about Dragon unknown in the East Blue, his home, buth the most wanted man elsewhere. He has a plan, to take down the World Government, and perhaps Coby can find equal footing.)

⁃The Revolutionaries -  Dragon, Luffy’s father.

⁃Coby has a goal now.

⁃He doesn’t want to say goodbye to the Strawhats, but he does, taking a boat lent to him by Vivi, and setting off to find the Revolutionaries. Pirates don’t care about fair fights and Justice, but Coby does, and the Revolutionaries do. His dream will grow there, but he will always be an honorary crew member of the Straw Hat Pirates (the first in some stories).

⁃At sea he runs into Helmeppo, whose drifting at sea stranded due to the marines, and helps him. They bond, and Helmeppo has done a little growth in character as well, and decides to follow Coby, much like Coby decided to follow Luffy.

⁃They run into Garp who is losing faith in the new generation and believes that maybe his son is right, gives them a few fists of training after asking about his grandson, and goes on his way.

⁃They save a town or two

⁃Coby punches several people in the face.

⁃Still no sign of the revolutionaries, but they have heard things from the grape vine that a pirate ship has fallen out of the sky into a navy base. Coby assumes at least Luffy is doing fine.

⁃Finally they run into - guess who – Sabo, on a information recovery mission, which Coby helps with. He questions them at first and learns their story.

⁃And knocks himself the fuck out when Coby says “Ace” “Luffy” and “Brothers”

⁃“OH SHIT THEY ARE GOING TO KILL ME” - sabo,after waking up, to a confused Coby and then profusely thanking him.

⁃Sabo agrees to let Coby and helmeppo into the Revolutionaries and trains them (wow Coby’s been trained by a lot of ppl at this point) if Coby helps him find Luffy and Ace.

⁃CUE WILD GOOSE CHASE WHICH ENTAILS COBY BECOMING THE HERO OF THE REVOLUTION just like Garp is the hero of the marines!! They just fight ppl but instead of in the name of becoming the pirate king, its for REVOLUTION and JUSTICE because Coby has a working moral compass.

⁃Coby develops new moves combining all that he’s been taught into a rather weird fighting style with a mix of weapons and martial arts. He gets a bounty, and it’s the worst day of his entire life and also the best. He can’t decide, Helmeppo Sabo and Koala (whom he met when Sabo had to explain why he wasn’t on his mission) laugh at him.

⁃Then Sabo runs into Ace, ands that reunion goes as well as you would expect, but that not the important thing, because its still not enough to not send Ace to Marineford. But they don’t know this. Yet.

⁃Sabo and Ace both get news about Ennies Lobby at the same time. Coby, when Luffy mentions knowing Coby to his visiting grandfather, receives a shudder down his spine as if he has narrowly avoided a horrible fate.

⁃But its whatever. Sabo contacts Dragon and plans to meet with him and Luffy at Sabaody, to keep an eye on the Supernovas and let Sabao and Coby see Luffy again.

⁃They never get a chance, as the Strawhat Pirates have disappeared by the time they arrive… and Ace is on the execution block.

⁃Sabo has to go save him and drags Coby along for the ride, who eagerly awaits the opportunity to THROW DOWN SOME MARINES

⁃Luffy still goes through Impel down and all that, but Sabo and Coby still arrive late to the battle.

⁃You know how Sabo saves Luffy and Ace in that one excerpt? Cue coby punching akainu in the face for trying to hurt his friends then dodging the hell outta there as sabo saves ace and luffy.

⁃He Learns his haki! Is like oh shit my crush is gonna die, better do some shit about that! The haki allows him to actually stop Akainu for a second, and stop the fighting, as he attempts to question the people – is this what justice is?

⁃Coby meets trafalagr law and also buggy again. He isn’t afraid anymore, and doesn’t hide. People are quietly proud.

⁃Luffy gets saved and ASL reunion happens.

⁃Luffy decides to train, and tries to get coby to come along with him.

⁃Coby Is just frustrated because he has a moral compass and Luffy is just here saying he’s now best friends with corrupt war lords and the pirate kings right hand man, who is a cool dude, but why luffy, coby is hurt, please stop punching people because you feel like it.

⁃(Coby’s just putting on appearances)

⁃HEs just a good boy who wants to tear down corrupt systems why do you make friends with criminals luffy why do you hurt coby like this

(Again, appearances, he’s not insane, thank you very much)

After leaving Luffy to train and after helping him due his oxbell thing, he leaves with sabo to FINALLY MEET DRAGON

He goes through his own two year training with helpmeppo who is along for the ride. Who Coby has now decided is stuck with him for life.

Training is hell, because Coby wants to find his own fighting style which means a lot of different stuff and seeing what works best and it HURTS

 “Just be grateful im not my father-“ – dragon

 Coby feels the shudder again

Yknow how The revs have that steam punk theme? Well

 STEAMPUNK COBY!!!!
 this is. so cool oh my gosh

 Coby goes around freeing people and when they asked what inspired you hes like “rubber bastard who doesn’t have a moral compass fkdjsha,dk”

Hes gay for luffy he cant deny it

Luffy fanclub #1

Anyway, Coby goes on to take down Akainu and corrupt governments across the world, and makes his dream of tearing down the marines a reality post Pirate King Luffy

[artsynimbus]

hello! and welcome to my tedtalk about how racism is rwby is godawful/godawfully executed :)

inb4 if this subject makes you uncomfortable, don’t read, move on to lighter posts----

anyway M&K and their ‘Racism’ in RWBY disgusts me- not to full on rant.. but I just find it funny how even in 2020 its very much a fact that racism is alive and well but also a very foreign concept to people who genuinely have never experienced an inkling of it in their lives.. these same people though love the idea/thought that being ‘aware’ of what the word means and how its overall construct is bad, is kudos enough for them to walk around with a fake woke badge hence the title..

Miles and Kerry dance around the subject of racism and drop sprinkles of it in the form of Blakes cat ears lowering when someone doesn't like her for being a faunus or the reoccuring old man with the bald head/busted hairline putting up a sign that says ‘no faunus allowed’.. thats it. The real damaging stuff that ends in black coded characters being abused, tortured or murdered via this very real construct in this fantasy world- ignored, never shown, told or roughly implied.. Also M&K had a whole character whos hatred of humans was born from this construct, branded on his whole face- but rather than get anything from that- they switch up his character from a menacing villain with a vague goal ( like cinder and roman) and hate for humans to an emotionally broken fuckboy pissed off that his ego was bruised by a girl who left his side.. and then to top it off they kill him.

Yeah all of that , while making sure the construct of racism is alive and well, and our main (human/whitecoded) characters who aren’t affected by it at all, move on and do fuck all- ignoring/aiding the problem that has been introduced since V1, addressed by only blackcoded characters, and solved by no one.. What is the overall message people are supposed to take from that? Suppress, write/kill off characters who have been affected by racism if they’re being ‘mean’ about it but keep the construct around cause why not- and our ‘heroes’ dont have to give a shit about it cause, it doesn’t affect them so why bother??? what a goofy mess and a grim overall image of the world of remnant and how similar it is to parts of the real world... but im not surprised the writers have a weird interest in fetishizing lesbians so i wouldn’t be shocked if they have a weird fixation getting off at the idea of oppressed people suffering just cause it mirrors real life.

but going back to our heroes and main characters who arent faunus.. Are these the heroes im supposed to like?? all of them doing nothing to address or even attempt to change a system that affects their faunus friends?? one of them is matter of factly related to one fo the main sources of the problem that plagues the faunus, but she hasn’t done anything about it right? Nah can’t have her do anything to aid that, cause then how will she and her family continue reap the benefits from this obviously terrible construct that allow black coded characters to suffer and her family to prosper? (Not gonna lie her growth is nice but why isn’t she doing anything about her family's dust company profiting off illegal faunus labor? Why hasnt that been addressed since v1? No ones talking about it anymore so its magically gone now??)

M&K: oH bUt ShE sPoKe Up AnD dEfEnDeD bLaKe WhEn PeOpLe WeRe BeINg MeAn To HeR!

yEs tHaNkS To tHiS, ThE RaCiSm iN YoUr eMoTiOnAlLy mAnIpUlAtIvE AnD MoRaLlY BaNkRuPt sHoW Is gOnE. hooray.

but whatever right, its not a big deal cause you hear about the suffering but don’t see it, that must mean its not important right? Yeah that message is just gonna fly over the heads of the people who seriously don’t get it cause the concept of racism is so foreign to them because again they’ve never been affected in any type of way by any form of said racism.

but yeah whatever, your only racist radical character was a mean scumbag and ppl didnt’ like him anyway, so lets get rid of him, oh and that character with the beautiful melanin and tiger ears, yeah lets kill her too cause while she wasn’t as terrible as the former we can’t have any faction leader exist that hates our human/whitecoded happy go lucky heroes or race of people, even though the story establishes half of them being super fucked up and the implication of our heroes silence on the subject of racism aids faunus oppression, but yes expanding further lets have our prominent character hailing from a company that benefits off this shit literally do nothing and address nothing all of the time she is at home and around her father--all the while lets keep dangling people being mean to the cute cat girl and call it racism and never find any means to solve it- that probs won’t trigger the fans that have experienced anything but this diet form of microaggression and beyond right?.. fuck our feelings right?

but no ones ready for that conversation- its okay for certain characters to get revenge but not others- its okay to forgive certain characters for their misdeeds, misgivings and misinformation but not others, its okay for certain characters to be straight up manipulative and evil, but not others- and the cherry on top of this fucked up parfait is being mean to cute faunus girls is perceived as a great way to present racism to fans who still don’t get it or care :D This just exposes how the writers do not know a damn thing about the subject they keep reminding you exists in almost every volume that they won’t remove or have white coded characters fight against... the only thing you’ll get is a bunch of sad sympathetic faces to the racism and microaggressions aimed at blake,and weiss being the main one saying “hey thats wrong youre rude.” What an ally.. forget anything i said prior to how her character could’ve dismantled 1 large part of faunus suffering, this right here is that good shit! Right?... but again, no ones ready for that convo.

Miles and Kerry are actual trashcans which makes sense as to how they’re garbage writers lul. anyway this has been my tedtalk. :)

[sage-nebula]

Do you have headcanons about which characters Alan meets in each region?

Brock — I feel like Brock would be a very good friend for Alan to have. They’re the same age in canon (15), which makes them peers, and aside from that Brock has a very soothing, nurturing nature, which is exactly the kind of friend that Alan needs after everything that happens with Flare. This is especially true since while Brock is kind, his kindness is true kindness in that he’s also firm when he needs to be, i.e. he’s not an enabler of untrue, self-deprecating thoughts. If Alan tried to blame himself for things that weren’t his fault, Brock would put a stop to that right quick, ripping the shovel from his hands and refusing to let him dig himself deeper. That said, I honestly imagine their meeting would be by chance; perhaps Alan goes to Professor Oak’s lab to run an errand for Sycamore and ends up hearing about how a couple of the Gym Leaders in Kanto have mastered Mega Evolution, and so he decides to check that out on his own before returning to Kalos, and that’s how he meets Brock. But either way, I think it’d be a good friendship for him and one that’d last for years. 

Gary — I mentioned this in another post, but Alan and Gary already have so much in common that I just think it’d be neat to see them interact. They’re both nerds who care a lot about pokémon, they both love battling, they were both raised by regional professors, and so on and so forth. Mega Charizard X vs. Mega Blastoise Round II would also be really interesting to see. Though their areas of study are different, I think they’d have a lot to talk about, and the fact that they’re both fond of fieldwork would also be another point in favor of the two of them meeting. If Alan did that errand to Oak’s lab that I mentioned above, this could easily be how he meets Gary, who is perhaps home from his own travels for a little while.

Professor Oak — I mean, let’s just continue this “running an errand to Oak’s” thing, which means that he obviously meets Professor Oak. Alan is a studious young man who’s quite experienced in taking care of pokémon and I think Oak would appreciate that. I don’t think they’d get particularly close, both being focused on the research end of things (and Oak not being one to poach other professor’s assistants, generally), but they’d get along well enough, particularly since I’m sure Alan has a lot of respect for Oak given all his accomplishments in the field.

Tracey — RESURRECT TRACEY SKETCHITT 2020. Honestly, Tracey is Oak’s assistant and so it’s completely bewildering why he is nowhere in sight ever the few times we’re allowed to actually go to Oak’s ranch in the anime. In my world, though, he’s there, and while obviously Oak is his hero I imagine that he’s also very curious about Sycamore’s research as well and would probably jump at the chance to ask Alan all sorts of questions about it, and would be even more excited to draw pictures of Lizardon. Alan would be very happy to let Tracey draw pictures of Lizardon because it gets Tracey out of his personal space bubble and to stop asking him rapid-fire questions. (He doesn’t mind Tracey, but Tracey is very enthusiastic when it comes to gaining knowledge and that would make Alan feel kind of on-the-spot and uncomfortable.)

Delia — When what he has to do at Oak’s ends up having to run into another day (or another couple days), Delia, who happened to be visiting at the time and recognizes Alan as one of Ash’s friends (because Ash told her about him and showed him the picture that was taken of everyone at Sycamore’s lab) “invites” Alan to stay the night, and by “invites” I mean “insists” and so he gets a home cooked meal and a nice place to sleep (in Ash’s room) and also gets mothered for the first time ever in his life. Like, Sycamore is his dad, obviously, and Fulbert was his grouchy uncle, but both of those things aren’t quite exactly the same thing as having a mom, especially one who (though she won’t say it) knows you’ve been through a lot recently and can tell you’re still kind of going through it and so makes extra sure to give you a warm hug when you leave and also a bento with lunch and an extra pack of sweets to take with you. (And when he tries to apologize to her for putting Ash in so much danger she won’t hear of it because Ash told her that Alan saved him multiple times and that’s all that matters to her.) Alan won’t think of her as “mom,” of course, because he’s only known her a couple days and she most definitely is not his mom, but he does wonder, when she hugs him, if that’s what being hugged by a mother feels like, and it sticks with him for a while. All in all, Alan likes Delia, although he and Lizardon both don’t know how they feel about Delia calling Lizardon “Li-Li.” 

And wow, this is getting really long, so all the rest (and there are a lot more) are going under a cut!

Misty — Because if Alan goes to Pewter Gym to battle Brock due to Mega Evolution, then of course when Brock tells Alan that the Cerulean City Gym Leader has also mastered Mega Evolution, he’s going to go there as well. Given that they both get pretty fired up for battles, Alan and Misty would get along pretty well right off the bat. Misty would be particularly interested in battling (and beating) him since she knows that he beat Ash at the Kalos League, and as much as she loves Ash, she wants to be able to have that one over on him because they’re rivals just as much as they’re best friends. Unfortunately, this battle doesn’t go so well, because when Alan learns that Misty’s Mega Evolution partner is a Gyarados, that gives both him and Lizardon trauma flashbacks pretty much right away. They both try to shake it off, but Brock can tell something’s off and all but insists they stop the match . . . which neither Alan or Misty are really happy with, but, well. Alan can’t say he’s exactly upset to see Mega Gyarados go back in its ‘ball. 

Casey — She ends up being the Johto Champion, so of course he meets her (and in specific they meet as Champions). Alan and Casey don’t really talk very much because they don’t really have anything in common. She’s not interested in “nerd stuff” like his research and he has 0% interest in baseball (when she mentions The Electabuzz he legitimately thinks she’s talking about the species of pokémon and has no idea why she’s so offended when he says he’s never heard of the sports team). Casey does get on really well with Manon, though, since the two have very similar energy, even though Manon also knows nothing about baseball. (She does know how to join Casey in making fun of Alan’s “nerd stuff” while he rolls his eyes, though, so there is that.)

Morty & Eusine — Counting these two together as they should be. I don’t think this would be a long-lasting relationship by any means, but I could imagine a scenario where Alan travels to Ecruteak City to learn more about the legends there since he’s interested, and he goes to Morty to learn about them, and Eusine either happens to already be there or barges in while the two are talking, and the second he hears that Alan has some interest in Suicune (and that Alan has interest in hearing about Eusine’s findings once he learns that Eusine is the Ultimate Expert On Suicune™ (according to Eusine himself), well. Alan regrets asking only 30 minutes into that 4 hour lecture. Morty leaves partway through and brings back some tea for them to share because, well. Alan really did it now, didn’t he.

Lance & Clair — In a timeline where Alan studies his heritage (and learns that his heritage links back to the Blackthorn dragon clan), he meets both of them. He might meet Lance in a standard timeline anyway since Lance is always vying for Kanto’s Champion seat and held it before Ash did, but nonetheless he wouldn’t get on with either of them, honestly. Clair has an imperious attitude and is prone to fits of temper when she doesn’t get her way, which would annoy Alan, and Lance can be pretty arrogant and his sense of morality often clashes with Alan’s own. On the flipside, Clair would think Alan an upstart brat who has no right to think he could be on her level, while Lance would find Alan naive and foolhardy. So while they hail from the same clan (albeit distantly, in Alan’s case), they would not consider each other friends, let alone any kind of family.

Wallace — Alan is friends with Steven, and Steven is dating / engaged / married to Wallace, so it’s pretty inevitable the two would meet. I think they’d get along well enough in the few times they were around each other, but honestly they wouldn’t see / talk to each other enough to have any kind of real relationship. 

Zinnia — In my head my Delta Episode AU 100% happens and they meet and bond through that when Zinnia tries to mug him for his Key Stone, fails, but then actually succeeds in stealing Sycamore’s Key Stone and so Alan goes tearing after her to get it back. This whole thing culminates in Zinnia revealing to Alan what Devon Corp has been doing with Infinity Energy (which puts a severe strain on his friendship with Steven, very nearly shattering the trust between them, and it takes a long time to heal), and Alan helping Zinnia summon Rayquaza despite his own trauma associated with it and also riding with her into space to help Rayquaza + pulling her off the great sky dragon at the last second so they can be caught by their dragons and both survive. (In other words: Unlike how the actual Delta Episode played out, Zinnia does not have her thunder stolen here. She is the one who summons Rayquaza, teaches it Dragon Ascent, and carries out her destiny as Lorekeeper. Alan just helps her survive the experience, even though they both still almost die, and end up laughing hysterically about it on the roof of the Sky Pillar because, after falling from space and almost dying, what else is there to do?) Their relationship definitely gets off on a rocky start due to the mugging and theft and Zinnia’s habit of being deliberately vague about important things and also talking in circles to avoid answering questions directly (not to mention that Zinnia knows that Alan is friends with Steven and figures, at first, that he must therefore be like Steven in all the ways Zinnia dislikes, such as using pokémon as a means to an end and not caring about lives that he can’t see), but after getting to know each other through the journey to save two universes from a giant Deoxys-infested meteor, they come to a mutual understanding and end up realizing they’re something of kindred spirits. Even though they can still be prone to teasing and bickering whenever their paths cross again after that, there’s also a very deep foundation of trust that can only be gained when you realize you have met your match in attempts to sacrifice yourself for the sake of the world in death-defying stunts that you will never, ever learn your lesson from no matter how many times you tell the people who care about you that you have most definitely learned it this time, you promise. (Not that Zinnia has many of those people left, but she does have her grandmother and others from the Draconid clan, plus she now also has Alan, so. There’s that. Also, no, she and Steven never, ever come to like each other, and Alan does his best to hang out / talk with each of them separately to save himself the headache of trying to mediate.)

Cynthia — She’s the Champion of Sinnoh, so obviously he meets her once he becomes Champion himself, and given that they’re both nerds they get along pretty well as a result. I think I’ve talked about this before, that she kind of becomes like a Cool Aunt for him, in that they can talk about legends and mythos and go on ancient ruins explorations together. Like if one of them discovers some ancient ruins, they’ll send the other a message to see if they want to go spelunking together and the answer is almost always yes. The only times Alan doesn’t appreciate spending time with Cynthia are the times when she teams up with Steven to try to “improve his wardrobe” because Steven and Cynthia are the designated Fashion Icons of the Champion Squad and both think it’s “such a shame” that Alan doesn’t care much about clothes. Otherwise, though, he gets along great with Cynthia and is always happy to have a new message from her.

Tobias — Alan doesn’t actually know Tobias, in that he never got Tobias’ name and probably wouldn’t recognize him again if he saw him on the street (and vice versa), but it’s my headcanon that the first time Alan and Lizardon ever successfully used Mega Evolution, it was in a battle against Tobias. They still ended up losing the match (I mean, the man has a team of legendaries, there’s only so much anyone can do), but given that they successfully used Mega Evolution for the first time, Alan and Lizardon still considered it a victory overall.

Iris — Iris becomes Unova’s Champion, obviously, but I’d like to think that they actually met before that, when Iris traveled to Kalos as part of her training (and the cameo episodes that she DESERVED but NEVER ACTUALLY GOT), and Iris saw Lizardon and got so excited because cute dragon!!! and as a result introduced herself. She makes a remark about how she knows that Charizard isn’t actually a dragon-type, and then Alan tells her about the X form of Mega Evolution and she decides to write Ash a letter right then and there telling him that he was WRONG and she was RIGHT and he should STUDY MORE, MAYBE, or something along those lines. Anyway, I like to think that they battle (with Iris using her Dragonite, or perhaps Haxorus if Axew has evolved by that point), and perhaps even run off some criminals / protect the lab together, or some such. You know, bonding time. Iris and Alan get along pretty well given that they both love dragons and enjoy battling and adventure. She’s the one who always most appreciates when Alan posts pictures of Lizardon into the Champion messenger.

Emma — So this one is sort of an AU idea, considering that much of Alan’s story was clearly based on Emma’s story from the XY postgame, and as such it makes sense to think that they might not exist in the same world. But I love the idea that they were, perhaps, childhood friends; they both would have grown up in Lumiose City, after all, and I could imagine them having a sort of odd friendship over the years, wherein Emma teases Alan for always having his nose in a book or wanting to study and do homework, while Alan just wants to research in peace, and all the while Sycamore is trying to encourage Alan to make friends. Emma, I like to imagine, would have been adopted by Looker around age 7, so they didn’t get to know each other for too long before she was whisked away with her own adoptive parent. But perhaps they met again at the Summer Camp, and perhaps years later Emma — now running the Lumiose branch of the Looker Bureau — helps uncover evidence that gets the police off Alan’s back for the Flare incident somehow. I think it could be a sweet relationship for them. (Alternatively, I’ve also imagined an AU where perhaps she’s his younger biological sister, despite them being roughly the same age canonically, in that his biological parents had another child a little while after abandoning him and decided to keep this one. This AU is more sad because Alan wants nothing to do with his biological parents, and he wouldn’t consider Emma his sister even if they were related by DNA, so I don’t like it as much. It’s still one I’ve considered, though, since design-wise they still look pretty similar and, as I said, they’ve got quite a bit in common even if there are notable differences.)

Louie — We actually do see these two interact in TSME 1, as well as the Kalos League, so this isn’t a headcanon per se. What is headcanon is that Louie considers Alan to be His Rival, while Alan — despite his eidetic memory — always forgets Louie exists the moment they’re done battling. I actually like to think that perhaps they met at the Summer Camp, too, and that they got off on the wrong foot perhaps because Louie was envious that Alan, a kid like him, was Sycamore’s assistant, and Alan got irrationally upset when Louie said that he’d be a much more deserving assistant and would prove it (irrationally because Sycamore would never kick Alan out for another kid, and Alan should theoretically know better at age 10, but also Alan was a child who was already abandoned once and also abused before Sycamore found him so maybe we can give him a pass on this one), and so they spent the whole three day camp hating each other. But then after the camp, Alan forgot about him. And when they met years later and battled, Alan didn’t recognize him (even though Louie DID recognize Alan), and then Alan forgot him again. And Louie felt he’d have his revenge at the League . . . but of course, he didn’t win, and also Alan didn’t know who he was. All in all, this video is a perfect summary of how Louie feels about Alan vs. how Alan feels about Louie.

Hau: Alola’s Champion in the future, and that’s how the two meet. Hau and Alan are pretty neutral toward each other. They have very different energies (Alan is quiet but not laidback, while Hau can be loud but is very laidback), and while this doesn’t make them dislike each other, it also means that they generally don’t talk very much outside of necessary business / the occasional exchange in the Champion messenger. It’s like a very coworker relationship between the two of them, even though they aren’t exactly coworkers. (And before anyone gets in a tizzy, in my headcanon Ash becomes Kanto’s Champion, so no, I’m not “demoting” Ash, please relax.)

The rest of the Alola people he would know I’m leaving out because I wrote those relationships before the games were even released, much less the anime, and so they ended up VERY different from canon. And while I could write in canon-accurate relationships, it’s honestly hard for me to shake what I’d already created out of my head, so it’s just . . . not something that I’d really want to fight with. So if you’re curious about Alan’s relationship with the Aether family, Aether employees, etc, that can go in a separate ask, and will be specific to my Alola AU (which, again, has characterizations from before the games were released even, so the Aether family isn’t IC in it, among other things that I just plain got wrong from the trailers, but whatever, it is what it is). That said, I will say that the comment about “poaching assistants” that I made in Oak’s section was actually kind of a reference to my Alola AU, in which the idea is that after the big climax, Kukui tries to “poach” Alan by inviting him to come be his assistant, because hey, he’s got a pretty impressive resume (and also Ash told Kukui about Alan and especially about all the newfound trauma he has as a result of the Aether AU and asked Kukui if Alan could come stay with them for a while). Alan can be Kukui’s research assistant and also a student teacher at the school and roomies with Ash, it’ll be great. He actually does this right in front of Sycamore, which Sycamore thinks is pretty rude, but when Sycamore asks him about it later Kukui’s like “it was Ash’s idea” and shrugs because he’s got no stakes in this tbqh. (Yeah, I didn’t characterize Kukui completely accurately either because I was working with pre-release info, let me live.) As for whether Alan would say “yes” or not . . . well, we’ll just have to see (I say as if I’ll ever finish that fic this century).

Leon — Galar’s Champion, and as I’ve talked about before I think they’d definitely be friends, plus a little extra, (also they love each other). They’re both Charizard specialists, they both love battling with all their hearts, they love traveling and exploring, they know what it is to have a lot of responsibility foisted upon them at young ages, they’re both very protective of others, valiant and brave, so on and so forth, I’ve already talked about this in another post, haha. They meet as Champions, hit it off immediately, and the relationship forms from there.

Hop — Hop has a tendency to hang around Leon, so I imagine that Alan would meet Hop when he meets Leon. He and Hop don’t talk / interact much after that, really, but Hop and Manon do become rivals, both in whose big brother think they is the best, as well as in battling and the like as well. Just like Alan and Leon are very similar, so are Hop and Manon. I definitely enjoyed the similarities in the Galar games, I won’t lie.

Sonia — I do imagine that Leon would introduce Alan to his friends, which would include Sonia, but at the same time I could also see Alan and Sonia meeting because, like the situation with Gary, they have some commonalities in their backstory. Sonia wasn’t raised by Professor Magnolia, exactly, but clearly her grandmother was a steady presence in her life and she decided to be her assistant. Of course, she ends up taking over the practice by the time she and Alan meet in their 20s, but nonetheless, all that means is that they’re both nerds who would enjoy talking about their research together, and even though Sonia isn’t as big on battling, that wouldn’t stop she and Alan from having a nice friendship and comparing research notes on the differences between Dynamax particles and Mega Evolution energy.

Raihan — As I said, Leon introduces Alan to his friends, and Raihan is still his best friend and rival even though they are also ex-boyfriends. I think that Alan and Raihan would really enjoy battling against one another, would definitely respect each other as trainers, and hey, they both love dragons, so that’s another thing in common. But Raihan is also a social media influencer whose Rotomphone is always snapping pictures, while Alan highly values his privacy and basically isn’t even on social media outside of a rarely updated Instagram that’s purely pictures of scenery and also occasionally Lizardon, never himself. So how they each tend to exist in public spaces is something that puts them at fundamental odds (Alan doesn’t want to be in the pictures and is kind of annoyed, honestly, by the constant snapping of the camera; Raihan thinks Alan is comparable to a caveman for not being on social media and not liking it). They don’t dislike each other, per se, but they also don’t tend to hang out much at all, and when they do it tends to be in small doses (particularly on Alan’s end, given how introverted he is compared to Raihan’s extroversion; Raihan wears him out).

Bede — I’m actually not sure how these two would meet, but while I played through the SwSh games, Bede’s devotion to doing whatever he had to in orde to help Rose achieve his goal (all the while being manipulated into doing so, albeit by Oleana rather than Rose) felt uncomfortably familiar, and I think if Alan was made aware of that he’d try to steer Bede away from that and would definitely not be friendly at all to Oleana. Of course, the primary difference between them is that Bede is a snotty brat while Alan is not and never was, so Bede would not want to listen to Alan at all, and Alan’s help would thus fall on deaf ears. But he’d still try, even as Manon would personally be of the opinion that, hey, maybe Bede is just an annoying jerk and you should just ignore him. (Bede would pick on her just as much as he picks on Hop and so she would not like him one bit. And honestly, Alan’s not too fond of him either, but that doesn’t mean he wants to see another kid manipulated and used like he once was. You don’t get a pass out of doing the right thing just because you don’t like someone, in Alan’s eyes. And that sense of justice and want to do good is really annoying in Manon’s (particularly as she gets older), but is also one of the key things that made her like him so much to begin with, so it’s like. She doesn’t want him to change, but also, Bede is really annoying and mean, though.)

Chairman Rose — Since Alan would participate in tournaments in Galar, and also since he’s Leon’s Special Someone, of course he’d end up meeting Rose at some point. To be honest, Alan wouldn’t trust Rose right off the bat. The fact that a megacorporation owns and runs everything in Galar, including the League, wouldn’t sit right with Alan and he’d be suspicious of it. This is especially true considering that Fleur-De-Lis Labs held considerable influence in Kalos (and look what happened), and Devon Corporation still holds considerable influence in Hoenn (and look what they do re: Infinity Energy). But the thing about Rose is that he’s a natural fit for the public eye and is legitimately a philanthropist / humanitarian, and he’d brush off any distrust that Alan has and always be cordial with him, and over time with him not doing anything wrong to anyone and Leon’s assurances that Rose is all right, Alan would relax around him. A little. Bit by bit. Look, he has a lot of trust issues, okay? He’s hypervigilant. And it doesn’t help that Rose’s second-in-command is, well . . .

Oleana — Oh ho ho these two would not get along at all. While Rose is genuinely friendly and likes talking to people and enjoys battling etc, Oleana is all business and, on top of that, she decides to make some of her business manipulating and using a literal child to do her bidding and then throws him away like used garbage when he goes too far on her orders. To most people she’s cold, calculating, and ruthless (and I say “most people” because she shows the most warmth toward Rose and even that’s not too much). And like, that bit’s fine, she can be how she wants to be, but when she uses and manipulates a child and then discards him like trash, that gets under Alan’s skin. And the thing is, Oleana doesn’t care about that. What she does care about is that she has, of course, done her research on Alan, and she knows that he is Very Likely to interfere with Rose’s plans if he finds out about them, given his past actions (and I believe she’d be of the opinion that he bit the hand that fed when it came to turning against Lysandre, and she’s the type who might bring that up in an argument against him so oh boy), and she’s not about to have that. (To that end, him being around Leon so much, when Rose needs Leon for Eternatus? Hmm. She doesn’t like that.) So there would definitely be a strong and mutual dislike between them, even if they Keep It Together during public events, and Rose and Leon either don’t notice or pretend not to because, well, they’re keeping it civil and don’t have to be around each other for long, so it’s fine, right? Right?? 

. . . oh boy.

[makeste]

BnHA Chapter 244: Have You Read This Book

Previously on BnHA: Deku visited his mom on New Year’s Eve and was all “here’s a new letter from my ever-expanding fanclub of adorable preschoolers whom I saved from trauma” and Inko was all, “I’M SO PROUD OF YOU IZUKU I FEEL LIKE I DON’T HAVE TO PROTECT YOU ANYMORE” because she doesn’t watch the news at all or keep track of ominous plot developments I guess. The next morning, a.k.a. New Year’s Fucking Day, while other kids their age visited shrines or sat at home watching TV, Izuku, Shouto, and Katsuki were bussed off to go be child soldiers at Endeavor’s hero agency. Katsuki was all “HEY ENDEAVOR YOU’RE KIND OF A DICK,” and Endeavor was all “SHOUTO IS THIS VULGAR AND PUGNACIOUS YOUTH REALLY YOUR FRIEND” and Shouto was all “TOO LATE DAD, YOU SAID!!” and Endeavor hmmphed and booked it out of there and the kids all followed him and there was this old dude with a beard floating around screaming about END TIMES!! and Hawks was there and, what?? Seriously does anyone actually know what’s going on?

Today on BnHA: Endeavor chases down the old man (who may in fact be an actual prophet, though? Horikoshi what games are you playing) and sets him on fire and tackles him and it’s all very violent. Hawks then appears out of nowhere and breaks up BakuDeku’s tag team effort all “SAVE IT FOR THE MOVIE YOU TWO!” and is then all “hi Shouto” and “hi, you must be Midoriya, Tokoyami told me all about you, I wanted to work with you too, BUT -- [stares off angstily into the distance].” Then, because I forgot that Hawks never shuts up, he’s all, “Hey Endeavor have you ever heard of this book, ‘Paranormal Liberation Front’? Don’t let the really dumb-sounding title put you off, it’s actually a rousing tale full of hidden clues about all the bullshit I’m actually up to. I highlighted the relevant portions if you can’t be assed to read it, well anyways, Hail Hydra.” “Well that was a strange conversation,” Endeavor thinks to himself as he stares uncomprehendingly into the void. Sob someone please help them why are they so bad at this oh god.

(All comments are my unspoiled reactions from my initial readthrough of the chapter. I did a quick edit for grammar and clarity immediately afterward, and added a few ETAs in the process, but aside from that there are no changes.)

so thanks to that little stunt Horikoshi pulled two weeks ago, our chances of finding out Bakugou’s hero name any time within the next dozen chapters are slimmer than ever. probably he’ll reveal it at the end of the arc instead. it’s like he doesn’t even care about the databook. whatever I’ll have plenty of time to sulk more about it after I get to readin’

anyway the title of the new chapter is “Recommendation”, so... actually that does sound fairly promising, though? am I just eternally doomed to get my hopes up? is this referring to Shouto pestering his dad to take on his two best friends as fellow interns? what’s going on here

anyway so we’re opening with this

I love that it’s the two supposed goody-two-shoes kids who are actually being vocal about blatantly disregarding Endeavor’s orders. Shouto is just not having it to begin with, whereas Deku at least is trying to rationalize his own reckless behavior. Katsuki meanwhile is too focused on doing this fancy kick move to switch his suitcase from his left hand to his right to bother talking right now. reminds me of him playing with the soccer ball as a youngling

also the fact that his case is number 17 and Deku’s is number 18. have I talked about this before? I think I have but it was with some other numbered thing. anyways love the symbolism of him trying to stay one step ahead of him and Deku always being right on his heels. or maybe I’m reading too much into it but anyways rivals, yay

damn Endeavor is really determined to get ahead of them though

uh oh Horikoshi how much action did you pack into this chapter. starting to run out of time to finish all your panels again huh. you had a whole extra week! how fucking insane is this arc going to be holy shit

anyways Endeavor way to leave your brand new interns behind minutes after meeting them for the first time smdh. this is exactly how it went down with Hawks and Tokoyami

okay so like, I know a flash fire is an actual thing, but for a second I started wondering if in this kind of context (with him speeding off), it might also be a reference to the DC hero. then I remembered that the name of Endeavor’s technique is different in Japanese and the pun probably doesn’t translate. ah well

anyways dude is fast. but I wouldn’t count the kids out yet, they’re all pretty fast too!

so now we’re back downtown with Old Man Doom And Gloom, and oddly enough it seems that this isn’t actually an out-of-the-ordinary occurrence?

fucking quirk society. you guys are just so desensitized to the most bizarre fucking things. but I guess we in the 21st century are hardly ones to talk ourselves sigh

anyway now he’s being a bit more extra than usual and they’re starting to worry

?? the fuck is that? that sure as hell isn’t Hawks or Endeavor lmao. IF IT’S SLIDIN’ GO I SWEAR TO GOD

or wait, is it still the old man talking? should I actually be paying attention to his ramblings, my bad

is that a fucking Spirit Bomb

(ETA: in truth this is the most badass attack name that has ever existed or will ever exist and I should give it its proper due actually.)

so now I guess he’s hurtling it at them??

...hold up one sec

“revelations from the universe, I have received. flee, flee good citizens. the Dark Lord’s lips curl into a wicked crescent” -- holy shit, this all tracks?? IS THIS DOOMSDAY CRACKPOT MOTHERFUCKER ACTUALLY RIGHT ON THE FUCKING MONEY HOLY SHIT. ARE YOU A WITCH GOOD SIR. DID YOU WRITE A BOOK OF HIGHLY ACCURATE AND DEVASTATINGLY WITTY PROPHECIES BY ANY CHANCE

“the end is nigh! the wicked stars are conspiring against us! we must stop them! the earth is on the verge of being engulfed by darkness! flee, my fellow citizens! I am the one who shall destroy this source of darkness! be revealed! servants of the dark lord, come forth!”

okay listen. if he’s aiming this fucking thing at Hawks, though, after a speech like that? fuck it, I’m a believer. I’m sorry old man, I wrote you off without a second thought and here you are being the only one who’s actually like “HELLO!!!? PEOPLE!!!? THE LEAGUE OF VILLAINS!!?! THEY HAVE AN ARMY!!? AND NOUMUS!??! FUUUUUUUUCK”

and I don’t know where you’re getting your information, but those are some legit-ass universe revelations. fucking even talks about the “Dark Lord” specifically only describing his lips. because he doesn’t have anything else to describe nowadays, face-wise. shit that is spooky

anyway so that sure was unexpected. let’s see what shenanigans Master Roshi here is gonna get himself into next

did my boy just get fucking flashfired. jesus Endeavor show some fucking mercy

...

someone want to explain to this man the concept of a proportionate response? anyone? ...

fucking Todorokis I swear to god. if they weren’t all so good at being amazing superheroes, they could easily fall back on a career of being dramatic bitches for hire instead

anyways when did Endeavor change his clothes. this dude was wearing a turtleneck and slacks thirty seconds ago. did he literally just burn them off. how. what. fucking plot holes left and right

lol imagine if like on the next page the interns finally catch up and they’re like holding his fucking jacket and looking peeved

-- holy fucking shit, Endeavor

not cool, dude!! what the fuck. this isn’t a fucking Noumu for fuck’s sake THAT IS A HUMAN PERSON

(ETA: I guess he ended up being okay, but shit, for a moment it looked like we were going full blown Raiders of the Lost Ark over here. anyways the moral of this story is that Endeavor is terrifying, fuck.)

so now of course Nostradamus is trying to get the fuck out of there, because if he sticks around Endeavor apparently has no qualms about burning him alive. fuck me Endeavor, I’m still rooting for your redemption arc my dude, but tbh if Dabi happens to pop up out of nowhere here looking for some revenge I’m not gonna say no to it right now. quit burning people alive!!

so now 12/21/2012 is zooming down an alley and Endeavor is zooming after him and telling some extra with a sword to stay and lead the evacuation

oh??

Endeavor have you flown yourself right into a trap?

oh my god what the fuck is this

it’s like Dabi VS the Liberation Army all over again. fucking check all these motherfuckers who apparently want to get themselves deep fried. this one guy really thinks he’s going to clock the Number One with a piece of fucking PVC pipe

LMAOOOOO

LOOKS LIKE WE GOT OURSELVES A RUCKUS, BOYS! you better believe I have the Powerpuff Girls theme song playing in my head right now

-- !!!

HAWKS!! I WAS STARTING TO WONDER IF YOU REALLY WERE THERE TOO OR IF THE PANELS IN THE PREVIOUS CHAPTER WERE DELIBERATELY MISLEADING

LOOOOOOL

pour one out for these poor sobs who somehow got themselves caught up in an accidental pincer attack between the dynamic fucking duo and fucking Angry Bird here. where the fuck is Shouto btw. or is he the one that got stuck carrying Endeavor’s jacket

loool look at Hawks out here making friends

SURPRISE BITCH

oh my god though you guys look at this??

HELLO SURPRISE NEW FAVORITE SERIES OF PANELS, CAN I JUST TAKE A MOMENT TO LOVE ON YOU A BIT HERE, BECAUSE

1. Bakugou and Deku IN PERFECT SYNC, not even thinking about it. just effortless. that was an amazing tag team thing you guys had going on before SOMEONE stepped in and ruined it all omg. do you want me to talk to Hawks for you. I’ve been meaning to discuss some other things with him anyway so it’s not like it’d be going out of my way. can you believe this fucking pigeon blocked my number. WHERE IS JEANIST YOU BASTARD

anyways 2. “I thought Endeavor might have been in a tough spot” that’s a funny way of saying “I was lonely and missed my angry arson dad”! and fucking look at this ridiculous bantering between them. “did it look like I was in a tough spot?” I FUCKING CAN’T YOU GUYS PLEASE STOP

and 3. Shouto just watching. is he impressed by his dad? or just trying to figure out whether Hawks is his dad’s adopted son or boyfriend. I’m pretty sure it’s the former, Shouto, but I don’t blame you for being confused, Hawks just has that kind of energy with everyone

oh my god

somebody arrest this man. I can’t fucking deal with your cheeky fucking face Hawks

is Skeptic getting all of this?? are they sitting there with bowls of popcorn back at the League of Pliff HQ trying to figure out whether Endeavor and Hawks are dating

...and shit, I just realized the League officially knows now that the disaster trio is interning with the number one. so that’s fucking great. not that it would have been a secret for long, but still, things are officially starting to get real. in hindsight, after the Kamino arc we had a nice long stretch of chapters in which Deku, Kacchan, and Shouto were not in immediate danger from the main fucking villains, so that was nice while it lasted I guess. those days will soon be behind us

ahhhklkljkl

fucking shit Hawks could you be any more ominous. oh my god this arc really is going to kill me

so now we’re cutting away to somewhere. Pliff?

-- oh, nope, still in the same place, we just fast-forwarded to the part where the police came to haul all the bad guys away

and now the manga is being all clever and foreshadowing-y and would you look at this

BUT IS HE TALKING ABOUT ENDEAVOR, OR HAWKS omg. or hell, he could even be talking about Deku. or AFO even though he’s not actually there. point is, you know he’s not actually wrong. but what is he actually trying to tell us ahhhhhh Servant of the Stars please reveal your secrets

(ETA: in all seriousness you guys, I’m fully down for counting this as a prophecy. it’s already canon that future-seeing quirks are a thing, so. the only problem is that this is some Game of Thrones-level ambiguity as far as who he’s actually talking about. it seriously could be anyone. anyways at least we’ve got some shiny new theory material to play around with here so that’s nice.)

LMAO

HAWKS YOU BASTARD, JUST LIKE THAT I’VE FORGIVEN YOU FOR THE FUCKING JEANOCIDE

how does every single person Deku meets not greet him this way?? I sure as hell would. “well if it isn’t the kid who just. fuckin blew up his own hands on live television, multiple times. salutations”

anyways where’s Katsuki, the boy whose previous hero mentor you murdered in cold blood but he doesn’t actually know that yet. when are we gonna start in on that?

Hawks says he’s heard about Deku from Tokoyami. and he even says he would have liked to work with Deku too, wow. that’s high praise

ffffff here it comes, THAT GOOD HAWKS ANGST. WE WERE WAITING FOR THIS BUT IT’S STILL BRUTAL GAH

is this entire arc just going to consist of Hawks saying cryptic things with double meanings known only to him and then glancing sideways at the camera all broodingly omg

AH, THERE HE IS

Katsuki’s natural instinct to dislike 100% of newcomers on sight might work out to his advantage here. Hawks’s maxed-out Charisma stats VS Katsuki’s middling Perception stats which nonetheless have a tendency to land high whenever he performs an ability check! I might need to back off from this metaphor though before it becomes really obvious that I don’t actually play D&D

lol

omg Endeavor can’t a guy just drop in on his grumpy pal out of the blue to make sure he’s doing okay without having some sort of ulterior motive? why are you so sure that Hawks showing up means that plot must be happening. because you’re not wrong, is the thing. but he’s probably just being standoffish for show

holy shit and now Hawks is just pulling out the Liberation Army’s book just like that?? IS HE ALLOWED TO DO THAT

(ETA: “let’s see, what’s a subtle way I can try and clue Endeavor in on the fact that I’ve become an undercover agent in the Paranormal Villain League of Liberation Front Armies. ... ...shit I’m not good at this.”)

and since when was this book called “Paranormal Liberation Front”?? did they change the title to match the new name?

and what’s Hawks’s game here, though? is he going to play it as though he’s secretly investigating Pliff? you know, like he actually is doing? is this some kind of hiding in plain sight thing or what

guys. is Hawks just... actually really bad at being a secret agent. omg

so he’s all “DESTRO’S IDEALS ARE EVERYTHING WE COULD ASK FOR” and lol what. fucking look at Endeavor’s face though

this motherfucker could use a boost of his own wisdom stats, fff

(ETA: swear to god he’s two seconds away from a Katsuki-style “hah?!”)

oh my god

fucking fuck me. he better have highlighted a really obvious section of that book, because otherwise I’m not gonna hold out hope for this message getting across at all. at least we know what that “recommendation” title was referring to now I guess

(ETA: Endeavor: [reading the highlighted section backwards] “‘‘it’s fun to smoke marijuana’!? what in the --”)

loooool

the fate of the world now rests upon Endeavor’s abilities to See Underneath The Underneath and somehow decipher that when Hawks says, “ENDEAVOR I CHASED YOU DOWN IN ORDER TO GIVE YOU A COPY OF THIS BOOK THE VILLAINS WROTE, I THINK IT’S REALLY KEEN AND YOU SHOULD CHECK IT OUT”, what he’s really saying is, “ENDEAVOR I NEED YOU TO INVESTIGATE THIS SUSPICIOUS ‘LIBERATION FRONT’ THAT’S BEEN COINCIDENTALLY GATHERING A LOT OF ATTENTION SINCE THAT SHADY INCIDENT IN DEIKA CITY WHERE ‘TWENTY GUYS' BASICALLY DESTROYED AN ENTIRE TOWN. IF YOU’RE TOO DENSE TO PICK UP ON ANY OF THAT, I HIGHLIGHTED THE RELEVANT PORTION OF THE BOOK SO HOPEFULLY EVEN AN OBLIVIOUS DUMBBELL LIKE YOU CAN FIGURE IT OUT.” jesus christ

at least Endeavor now has some nerdy interns who fucking love to read. hell, Deku has probably already read the book. please help this dumb jock to understand his bird son’s coded message, Deku-Wan Kenobi, you’re our only hope

and that’s the end of the chapter! except that I heard there was a new poster for Heroes Rising that was released as well! how come it wasn’t included here now I have to go hunt it down

son of a bitch is this really the best quality that’s available? damn

well all right. not really much going on here that’s a big revelation or anything, aside from the surprise inclusion of Hawks in the upper right hand corner. did we know he was going to be in this? and like, even if the anime does make it as far as his debut in season 4, will it have reached that point by the time the movie premieres in December? glad I caught up beforehand if they’re gonna start spoiling things like this

so that’s all she wrote for this week! databook is due out next week so that should be fun! we’re finally going to get Hawks’s real name from what I understand. so I can start yelling at him using his full name like a disappointed mom. I have a feeling that’s going to come in handy a lot during this arc. go to your room young man

(ETA: and just watch it be the Japanese equivalent of “Judas McMurder” or some shit. smh. y’all. we stan a shady bitch.)

[tb5-heavenward]

I'm very curious to read your thoughts on What Was Wrong With Lost Kingdom

you know, I did hope you would be and I think you so very much for asking

so!

To put it simply, what was wrong with Lost Kingdom is that it should have been Tunnels of Time 2. They had all of the same pieces, they were at approximately the same place in their second season, and it would have been the perfect excuse to take the themes and concepts and characters from Tunnels of Time, and repeat and reinforce them.

This is something that tends to be wrong with a lot of TAG episodes that otherwise have a lot of potential: the writers don’t know when to lean into repeating their ideas. Or reiterating their ideas. Or revisiting, reimagining, regurgitating, reinforcing, reducing reusing recycling their ideas.

Tunnels of Time should have been to Lost Kingdom what Runaway was to Hyperspeed, and you better believe I’m gonna elaborate. Under a cut.

A QUICK REFRESHER ON THE COMMON ELEMENTS SHARED BY RUNAWAY AND HYPERSPEED

here are some key points shared between Runaway and Hyperspeed

A Runaway Train that Goes Extra Super Fast

Scott

Brains

The line, word for word, “It would be like hitting a brick wall”

this is how you know that they knew exactly what they were doing

An All Hope Is Lost moment

A Last Second Hail Mary Solution

A silly, soft ending

Japan

Other Things I’m Sure

They are, at a fundamental level, the same episode. The basic problem is the same in both, even if the cause and the ways they approach and solve it are different, the same sorts of things happen. What those similarities do is allow us to measure the differences in the way the same problem they had then is approached by these characters now. It allows us to perceive the ways the show has changed on a technical level---Hyperspeed LOOKS fucking amazing. The sense of danger in Runaway doesn’t quite compare, at least in part because the visuals aren’t yet as finely honed. They’ve come a really long way, in more ways than one.

Because Scott is still the same action hero type he always is, and he recognizes that this is a problem that he can’t solve without Brains---but he’s also matured past the point of forcing Brains out into the field with him and expecting the same level of performance. Brains is allowed to provide a proxy for his presence that’s more effective than he ever could be (this is something that was first established in Recharge), and it legitimately helps save the day. 

As an extension of that, when they come up to that moment in the episode where they’re nearing the point of no return, and the question of whether or not they’ll be able to pull this off rears its ugly, predictable head, Scott doesn’t step to the controls to put his hand on the button that’ll slam on the brakes and kill them all---basically forcing Brains in both the literal and the narrative sense to rise to the occasion and save the day---instead he steps into that moment himself, and insists that there IS no point of no return, there is no moment when all hope is lost, he believes that it’s always possible to push through to the other side of a problem. And that last second miracle happens, and it’s happily ever after again.

Watch the two episodes back to back sometime, and look for repeated themes. If I had time I would do a side by side comparison of the two (and I’ve wanted to do an in-depth rewatch of the series for ages now, and maybe I should do one ep a day or something to get me back into the swing of things), but the parallels are all obvious that even just a casual surface viewing should be enough to pick them out. Runaway was a good episode. Hyperspeed is a great episode, because it got to stand on Runaway’s shoulders.

Now. On to the question of Lost Kingdom.

What I said at the time was specifically this:

What is deeply and immensely frustrating is that, in the time since I said this, the writers and the series have proven that they know how to do this. Runaway and Hyperspeed, remember. They have done it to brilliant, absolutely flawless effect, with a pair of episodes that run in parallel to each other, and in doing so reinforce fundamental truths while simultaneously demonstrating growth. Anyway.

A QUICK REFRESHER ON THE COMMON ELEMENTS SHARED BY TUNNELS OF TIME AND LOST KINGDOM

Old, ruined temple of an ancient civilization

Really, just gorgeously rendered models for both, these two are definitely spiritual sisters in at least a visual sense.

Getting trapped in the old, ruined temple of an ancient civilization

Penelope

Specifically, Penelope interceding on behalf of World Heritage in the case of somebody fucking around with something of historical significance.

Parker

Parker is at his best when employed as a Greek Chorus.

Gordon

notably, Gordon fresh off the events of Up From the Depths and preciously protective of his lil yellow sub. this isn’t relevant, it’s just really sweet how worried he gets.

Peril

Water

Self-Absorbed and Self-Aggrandizing Asshole Jeopardizing Everyone Else for His Own Ends

Big Golden MacGuffin

ELEMENTS DEEPLY UNNECESSARY TO LOST KINGDOM BUT INCLUDED ANYWAY FOR SOME FUCKING REASON

Brains

MAX

Sorry

no, i’m not

 brains got plenty of air time in S2

go away brains

come on, 

I know S1 was Kayo’s season. 

And I know S2 was Brains’. 

And it looks like S3 is shaping up to be Penelope’s. 

But Brains was really extraneous here, and the themes they chose for him were weaksauce compared to what they could’ve been for Gordon and Penelope.

who puts gordon and penelope in an episode together and doesn’t further the groundwork of their relationship

honestly

who does that

i wouldn’t have done that

if you’re not familiar with my biases and agendas by now, you should leave

The above is a bit tangential, but if you pare those elements out, what you have instead is an episode that cleaves almost exactly to what Tunnels of Time was, in the same way Hyperspeed does to Runaway. If Brains is no longer there to take the focus, then the focus necessarily falls on Gordon and Penelope. And, crucially, Gordon and Penelope vs. Madelaine and Francois LeMaire.

Here’s the thing with Gordon and Penelope vs Madelaine and Francois: Gordon is 100% the Madelaine and Penelope is 100% the Francois. And this episode should have been about these two couples echoing each other, and laying some serious groundwork for what a relationship between Gordon and Penny could be about.

Because one’s always going to find a reason to be in the collapsing ancient temple, and the other is always going to be the one running in after.

And the problem for me in talking about this episode is that I want to talk about the version that exists exclusively in my head. I want the episode where Penelope’s the one who’s chased LeMaire further into Atlantis towards the Solarkytheria (not BRAINS ffs), and Gordon and Madelaine are both left with no choice but to go after them, as the cautious, sensible better halves of these relationships. I want Penelope and LeMaire yelling at each other about exploration vs preservation, and Madelaine and Gordon in the background both trying to make it clear that they really need to leave.

As the episode is, it’s too far from what could’ve been to remap exactly onto Tunnels of Time, but if it had been patterned after it more closely, what I most would’ve wanted would’ve been a moment between Penelope and Francois, forced into FAB1 together in order to bail out, and her like, chewing him out for being so selfish and self-aggrandizing, and him suggesting that she had no moral obligation to follow him in, and that she must have had her own motivations, and maybe the pair of them aren’t so different after all.

And Gordon and Madelaine in TB4 right behind them, having a conversation of their own to the tune of “no offense, but your husband is a reckless asshole and I don’t know why you put up with this”. And her telling him why, and making it clear that when you love someone, you don’t really have a choice but to follow them when they need you. That’s the sort of thing that would really land with Gordon.

Gahhhh, I wish I had articulated all of this when it was still fresher in my head. It’s currently closing in on half past midnight and I need to be awake again in six hours (it’s fine), but all I know for sure right now is that these thoughts were much clearer in my head when they weren’t two years old. Anyway! now it is closing on 1AM, so I had better get to bed. Thanks for asking

[wolfcrunch]

32.

i didnt get a character or angst/fluff decision so i went with bakugou!! hope that’s alright!

Prompt #32 - What did I do?

read on AO3 - request a prompt and character(s) for me to write!

What did I do?

Crimson coloured eyes stared blankly upwards, tracing patterns into the clean, white tiles overhead. Silence rung in his ears, but thoughts and memories weight heavy on the young hero’s mind, the events of the previous two days playing on rewind.

What did I do?

He could still hear the cries for help, the yells of his friends, screaming at him to move. To do something. He could still taste smoke and blood, on the tip of his tongue despite it being cleaned off long ago. He could still feel his tattered costume sticking against his sweat-laden body, covered in soot and dirt and all sorts of debris.

What did I do?

He remembered he had been facing a tenacious villain, one that he and Deku had been essentially ‘hunting down’ for the past three months, at least. A man who could outmaneuver even the proclaimed Wonder Duo, of all heroes.

Katsuki and Deku had only been heroes for around five years now - and in all of that time, they had not yet come across a villain who could make them chase tail for more than a week, the League excused.

All except the man they had come to know as 'Torrent’.

A dangerous man who seemed set on stirring up trouble, the heroes who had faced him weren’t entirely sure on what his quirk really do, except it was some sort of extreme weather manipulation. He’d been shown to cause a vast arrangement of weather - from storms, to hail, to snow and even fire tornadoes.

Even with Katsuki and Deku working together - it was almost as if the other man had several quirks, with how quickly he could change the weather and make his escape.

They’d run into the villain again, and Katsuki had decided enough was enough. The man in question had sent a blast of dangerous high wind through some apartment buildings, leaving the buildings almost destroyed and civilians in need of saving. Their job had been to get the civilians out safely first…

But then Katsuki had seen him. And his vision went red.

He’d screamed at Deku to start evacuating victims before blasting off after the escaping man, his explosion quirk boosting him along. Deku had tried to stop him– but there were people in need, and he couldn’t just abandon them.

Not when the buildings looked as if they were going to fall.

Despite having grown and mellowed out…Katsuki still had a bit of a short fuse. And here, it had decided to come and bite him on the ass.

He didn’t know how the guy’s quirk worked, let alone a way to possibly take him down and immobilize him long enough for Deku to catch up…he hadn’t been thinking straight, he could admit that much. He could admit defeat.

Failure.

So…what did I do?

Nothing…absolutely fucking nothing.

Katsuki had been no match for the villain, not even with his rage-filled mind that made him act before thinking. The explosive hero prided himself on his reaction times, on his prowess, on his fighting experience, years of that skill honed into his very bones.

But it still had been no match, not alone.

Torrent had toyed with him. He’d batted the hero around as if the two were playing cat and mouse - as if Katsuki was the prey, in this scenario.

Torrent knew Katsuki - the hero, Ground Zero - was no match for him, and it had only served to make Katsuki angrier as the minutes ticked by. As Katsuki got worn down, expending all of his energy into firing off blasts…he’d been so angry, that he hadn’t accounted much for his surrounding area.

Of course, collateral damage was usually never an issue…his PR would chew him out for it, but it was something he could pay off…

…but the lives at stake…

Katsuki’s calloused hands gripped at the light, scratchy blanket laid over his body, an all-too-unfamiliar burning beginning to build up in his eyes. He hated, hated, hated this. This feeling….

Complete, utter failure.

Katsuki could do nothing. Nothing as Torrent sent a huge gust of wind clashing into him, making the hero crash into an unstable building. Nothing as a shrill cry sounded from within its walls, breaking Katsuki out of the rage-filled cloud overhanging every nerve.

He did nothing as Torrent sneered at the sounds emitting from the once-thought abandoned building, calling out something Katsuki couldn’t hear over the roar of vicious winds.

Nothing as heroes arrived on the scene– Red Riot, Pinky, Uravity, Deku– screaming out for the explosive hero to move.

To save…

Katsuki couldn’t move…and two children, eight and three, had perished as Torrent brought the building down upon him. Katsuki hadn’t known…but that didn’t make the weight in his chest any less heavy.

He’d been lucky that he was alive - Deku having jumped into the fray and chasing Torrent off as Red Riot, Pinky and Uravity dug him and the children out, as the nurses said once he awoke.

According to them, no one had been to visit yet, even though Katsuki hadn’t been too critically injured, surprisingly…

Not that he deserved their company.

Ground Zero was suppose to be a hero, yet two children lost their lives because of him. A couple was never going to hug their children, see them grow up…he knew that all heroes lost someone at least once during their careers…

But this was all utterly Katsuki’s fault, he knew. He was the reason that Japan had lost two lives that day.

He was the reason Torrent was still on the run. If only he had waited–

If only he hadn’t run in like a damn intern on his first patrol…those two kids might still be alive.

The blond scowled, lifting a hand to slowly run through his dirtied hair, wincing at the tiny shards of glass still stuck between its strands. He’d told the nurses to piss off after checking his vitals after awaking not a mere three hours ago…now he was kinda starting to regret that.

Ugh…the sooner I can get out…

Katsuki knew that to wallow in his own self-pity was…pathetic. He didn’t deserve to feel so sorry for himself. No, because those kids–

They had needed him in that moment. They had needed to be saved, by a hero.

And Katsuki had been still, sealing their fates.

He scowled to himself, before carefully propping himself up with his arms. The IV in his arm felt uncomfortable, and his eyes stung at the light coming in from the window. The sooner he got out, the sooner he could do something - he wouldn’t be very surprised if the parents tried to press charges because of their children.

He’d deserve it.

His body, aching, protested against the blond’s movements, but he ignored it to force one leg over the side of the bed, gritting his teeth at the harsh movement. The nurses would have his head if they saw him trying to get up.

But he couldn’t sit here and do nothing. He needed to make up–

“Kacchan!”

The blond gave an indignant squawk as a hand settled on his shoulders, before his brain clicked with the familiar name. “Deku, what the fuck?!”

“Shh, the nurses are gonna kick me out-”

“As they should, shitty nerd!” Katsuki’s raging words held no real bite to them, despite the way his red gaze pierced through the over. Deku at least had the decency to look sheepish. “How the hell did you get in here?” he lowered his voice, slightly.

His hero partner glanced at the door of the room, which he had carefully shut completely to make sure no one was peeking in before looking at the older man. “I….distracted a nurse and managed to sneak past?”

“Deku–”

“They weren’t gonna let us see you!” Izuku insisted, waving about his hands - one which held a plastic bag. “After the thing with Torrent, I got some stuff and came back to the waiting room. They didn’t give any word about you having woken up and I got worried-”

“I don’t want your stinking ass in my room!” Katsuki hissed. “And what do you mean we? What about all the civilians?!”

“They’re fine!!” Katsuki’s cause for his newest headache assured him. “I’ve already dealt with the paperwork and the press…well, most of it. Kirishima and some of the others are still in the waiting room for when you get released - your entire fight was on the news!”

“Fucking– Deku, you’re number fucking one, it’s your job to go out there and detain Torrent, ain’t it?!”

“Kacchan, I wasn’t going to risk going after him alone.”

Now Katsuki knew that Deku was stronger than him - three years together in U.A, and five as hero partners…he’d be stupid to not say that Deku had surpassed him in terms of strength - although when exactly that happened was muddled and forgotten…

Deku had always been stronger than him in moral, too. Even before inheriting One For All.

“Anyways…no one’s seen or heard from him in the two days you were out…I think for now, its fine to take a break,” Izuku then grinned, shaking the bag in his hand. “Anyways, I got some of your clothes from the agency. I don’t think anyone wants to see your ass when you finally get out of here.”

Katsuki paused, the words sinking in. He blurted out what was first to conjure into a sentence.

“What, my ass not good enough for the bunch of you freaks, huh?!”

“N-no, Kacchan!” Izuku couldn’t help but snort, shaking his head. “I think Kirishima would call it manly-”

The broad-shouldered hero got an angry shove at that, the injured one of the two fuming at him. “Eat shit and die, nerd!” he nearly screamed, causing Izuku to laugh louder.

“Come on Kacchan, it was a joke!”

“Yeah? Your whole career is gonna look like a fucking joke in a minute, asshole!”

Katsuki couldn’t help the smug grin that crossed his face as the door to his room was slammed open, two fuming nurses standing outside and setting their sights right on Deku, who looked up like a deer in headlights.

Not even the Number One hero could escape punishment by a couple of angry nurses set out to make sure their patients were comfortable, Katsuki supposed…good.

[lovelypieceofjade]

Long post

I’ll try to put a read more but I don’t know if it’ll work, just scroll pass if you don’t care.  This is a bit of writing I quickly did for a Zarya bio, which recalls one of her battles in the Siberian Front of the Second Omnic Crisis.  This is all headcanon, but I like to think it’s not too far from reality.

"Get down!"

That was the last thing she heard from her sergeant, when he tackled her to the ground.  She laid there, stunned, feeling his blood run down his body and soak her frozen uniform.  

"Sergeant! Corporal! Are you ok?"

"I'm fine, sergeant Kuznetsov is dead.  Help me up" Zarya said, tossing her dead leader's body aside.  Her squad looked at her, stained with the blood of their sergeant, and his body, already freezing on the ground of the trenches. One of them shook himself faster than the rest and took Zarya's hand, lifting her with a grunt.

"Looks like you're in command now, Corporal Zaryanova" he said as he crouched down with the sound of bullets zipping overhead.  

She took a moment to pick her rifle up from the ground, and another to assess the situation.  Her squad was 3 men down, communication jammed by Omnic interference, and they were soon out of ammo.  She didn't know the state of the rest of the trenches, but she imagined it was about as bad as here.  

Just as she was about to talk, their radios started all at once, interference making listening difficult. "... all squads retrea... next villa... rep..... all squads retreat to the next vill... lost..."

"Sounds like command got through" said Kristov, with a sigh of relief.  "Better follow orders, I don't want to stay here".

"Negative soldier, we are not moving an inch" Zarya interjected.  Every squad member looked at her, like she was some sort of crazed woman.  Why stay?  It would be disobeying orders, and would just end with everyone dead!

"The village behind us doesn't have any kind of defense, and the tin cans won't leave anything standing.  I won't let that happen!" At this, she started shooting her rifle over the trenches, killing a humanoid Omnic that was about to ambush them during their talk.  "We are in terrible condition, but so are they!  The cold is killing them slowly, and we are helping it, so I won't leave until every piece of scrap is dealt with!  And I won't leave Sergeant Kuznetsov's body here, he deserves better" she said, already feeling the cold slipping into her bones due to the frozen blood on her.  She looked at everyone's faces, some scared, some numb, some already grinning.  "I told you all why I joined, so if you think I'm going to run away because of some fat general telling me to, you better put a bullet in me right now and carry my carcass back, which no one here is strong enough for anyway".  At that, laughter emerged from everyone, and she looked with satisfaction as most of the fear washed away from their faces. "Mohammad, go fetch the last of the ammunition in the jeep, everyone cover fire with me!"

~

"'Some fat general'? I'm glad you think so highly of me, Corporal".  General Sokolov's smile was wide, but his tone left nothing to the imagination.  Zarya had crossed a line. "I said what I thought was needed to keep my men fighting, sir" she said, sitting upright in her chair before him, in his office.  The wall of trophies and the number of medals on his torso reminded her acutely that she was in deep waters, deeper than she ever had been.  The itching of her bandage on her forehead wasn't helping at all, and she fought savagely to not touch it.  Her helmet had been hit and exploded, the shrapnel giving her an X incision above her right eye.

"And what about the moment when you thought it was a good idea to charge the remaining Omnic force with your squad's jeep, crashing it, then removing the gravity gun from it and cause major damage to the village you disobeyed orders to protect?  Was it needed?"

"With all due respect sir, if I had let the tin ca-the Omnics march through said village, it would not need repairs from the gravity gun, but a bulldozer to wipe the rubble" she said, feeling a drop of sweat running down the back of her uniform.  She twitched her right arm and winced, the stitches on her shoulder tugging at her shirt.  

"Yes yes, what a save!  A small village filled with Ewenkis people, only needing hundreds of thousands of dollars from an already strung thin government!" He threw his arms in the air, as if preaching, then pointed his finger at her.  "I should say this to you in court martial!  You're a disgrace to the military, to Russia, and the world!  Even now you come to me with your pink hair, like just this isn't enough to have you thrown to the dogs!  You-"

"That is enough, general" said a voice at the door behind Zarya.  She jumped about just as much as the general at this, and turned to find none other than Katya Volskaya standing there, with 2 soldiers waiting out the door.  Zarya noted that they both had arm braciers with the Volskaya Industries logo on it, part of the regiment given to the company as part of their weapons deal.  "I will take it from here, why don't you have a walk, maybe this will help you cool down a bit".

Sokolov, still red after his tantrum, quickly got up and walked out, not daring to look Katya in the eyes.  She then briskly walked around the office table and sat down, looking at Zarya with intense eyes.  "You know the gravity gun was designed by my company, right?  A wonderful piece of warfare, but how you are able to handle it barehanded is beyond me.  The recoil from the Graviton surge is hard to bear even on a mounted jeep, yet your battle report says you got 3 GS's before the energy cells died".

Zarya was taken aback.  She was about to be eaten alive by her superior, and now she was recieving praise from someone who evidently had more power than a general?  "I'm sorry ma'am, but if you don't mind, I was less confused by someone screaming nonsense at me than you telling me about the specs of a weapon you designed".

"They told me you had a mouth, I like it!" Katya put her elbows on the table and crossed her fingers, never breaking eye contact, and continued: "You singlehandedly stopped a supposedly unstoppable march of Omnics, rallied 3 other squads to your rebellious efforts, saved at least one village and probably multiple towns behind it, carried your dead Sergeant's body on your back the whole time, and hailed as a hero by around 70 soldiers after 10 hours of grueling battle.  You're a hero, Corporal.  One not seen since Overwatch fell.  And I want you to keep being a hero".

At that, Zarya felt like someone struck her in the belly, emotions she didn't know could exist together bubbling up.  Joy, regret, pain, mourning, excitement, shame, curiosity, and hope sprang up all at once.  "I, uh, I just did what I could to stop further destruction ma'am"

"See?  You even have the attitude of an exemplary hero!  Maybe you don't know, but your story is spreading around the military like a wildfire, and soon it'll be out in the open.  By your actions, you set yourself up as the beacon of hope against Omnics, the example for the rest of your comrades!  People will want to talk to you, interview you, know you.  I want to help you navigate this land, and I think you need it".

Zarya didn't know what to do with all this, the information was overwhelming and her pain medicine didn't help.  She could only shake her head and mumble "I, I don't know..."

"You were a successful athlete before the war, I'm sure you know how hard it is to be in the spotlight" Katya said, pointing at the soldier.  "Trust me when I tell you, you need me.  And I need you.  We could stop the Omnic Crisis once and for all with enough publicity about you and enough morale for the troops".  She stood up, took a box out of the pocket of her coat, and put it in front of Zarya.  "A gift, as well as my private number.  Think and call me, we will make a great team".  At that, she took off, leaving Zarya alone in the room.  

After a moment, she opened the box with her left hand and first saw a paper with a number on it, which she pocketed, and under it found brand new Sergeant grades, as well as a nameplate for her uniform.

[musekicker]

Mark inviting Fenton to be his "arm candy" at a charity ball/gala. Fenton doesn't think its a good idea but - oh my! It would be so lovely to actually be out with somebody

Slightly different from the prompt, but this has the general idea.

The charity ball was not something Fenton was going to miss. And as Gizmoduck he had agreed to the auction that was set up to help fund a local food kitchen. It hadn’t even taken him a minute to agree to it. Any way he could help out after all.

For the duration of the ball Gizmoduck would keep company with whoever won the auction. Something Fenton was sure he could do without a problem, who ever won. Even if Fenton wasn’t use to big events like this, but for charity he would certainly try.

When he had arrived at the ball they had been in the middle of setting up. But what he saw was shaping up to be looking elegant and lovely. He was curious to see what the grand ball room would look like once finished being decorated and with the hum of a ball going full swing.

But now first, the auction itself. It was set up in a room off to the side of the main ball so that the music and the sound of the ball goers would not interrupt the auction.

Fenton was not the only person to be putting their personal time up on auction. A couple of celebrities who hailed from Duckberg had gone up before him. The same celebrities put up personal memorabilia for auction as well.

It was all shaping up to bring in a lot for the food kitchen.

“For our next auction we have local Duckberg hero Gizmoduck. He has graciously offered up his personal time to accompany the winner for the duration of the party. Shall we start the bidding at a thousand?” the auctioneer started up, breaking Fenton out of his thoughts.

The auctioneer was doing his work at a lightning pace. Fenton could barely keep up with what was going on. One moment the price was at a thousand, which is where the auction price had started at. Suddenly it was a series of prices that Fenton barely heard or when he did, believed.

And then it another moment it was over.

“And we have our winner. Number seventy has won this auction. Please come up to the stage sir.” the auctioneer said.

Fenton searched the crowd, waiting to see just who had spent so much money to spend time with him. A movement from the back of the crowd and the winner was sauntering up the aisle.

Sheer disappointment and a tinge of disgust filled Fenton when he saw who it was.

It was Mark Beaks.

The tech giant ceo was dressed in a very obnoxious purple tuxedo and did not look like he belonged here at all. He also looked very pleased to see Fenton.

“Hey there, long time now see?” Mark said, sounding very chipper and not at all like someone who had used someone only mere months ago.

“No, no way.” Fenton hissed.

“Hey there, this is a charity thing. You’re not going to back out of a charity obligation are you?” Mark asked, a smirk on his beak.

Of course Mark would use his sense of integrity against him. People like Mark would do that without a second thought. And there was nothing Fenton could do about it. Nothing but keep to his promise.

“You know I’m not going to.” Fenton said, barely keeping the anger out of his voice.

“Good!”

Mark offered the crook of his elbow.

“Shall we then?” he said

Fenton had to resist the urge to slap Mark’s arm away. It took all his self control to prevent himself from doing so. Instead he sighed deeply before putting his arm into the offered arm.

“What are you even doing here?” Fenton asked as they left the auction room.

“Not my scene, I know. Too stuffy for my style. But there was some buzz online about you being here and when I found that out I had to come.” Mark explained.

“Of course you did.” Fenton sighed.

“I did what I had to. You weren’t exactly answering my social media messages.” Mark said.

“And I wonder why that could be.” Fenton said.

“Are you still mad about the whole using you for my own ends, basically taking away your control of self, and then trying to take the armor for myself, thing?” Mark asked.

“Yes!” Fenton cried.

“That was so months ago. Let it go.” Mark said.

Mark’s clear apathy at the situation just burned. Much more then the actual situation that happened.

“You’re not even the least bit sorry?” Fenton asked, glaring down at Mark from behind the visor.

“Actually I am sorry.” Mark said.

Fenton skidded to a halt.

“You… are?” Fenton said.

“Oh yeah. I mean I totally messed that up. Taking the suit was a terrible idea. Too dangerous and honestly now that I think about it, a ton of work. Who needs that? Besides you I guess. You make it look good.”

Fenton scowled.

“Right, of course. That’s what your sorry about. Not the actual issue. Should have known.” Fenton said.

Fenton pulled his arm away from Mark, pulling forward to put at least a tiny bit of distance between them. He may have to accompany him the entire night but he didn’t have to look at him the entire time.

The wheel of the Gizmoduck suit may have seemingly accidentally ran over Mark’s foot.

“Ow!” Mark cried.

“So sorry, these ornate tile floors can be so slippery.” Fenton commented, managing to keep a smirk off his beak.

Fifteen minutes into the ball and already Fenton was wishing time machines were indeed invented and that he had one. Anything to get through this night faster.

After the wheel thing Mark was more careful about keeping Fenton close, often putting an arm around Fenton like he was his date or something. And time to time Mark would lean against him and gaze up with an awestruck look. Like he didn’t believe this was happening himself.

Fenton wished this wasn’t happening. Last time they had met things were very tense and understandably Fenton had not come anywhere close to an emotion even resembling forgiveness since then.

It still burned so much, being used and lied to like that.

“You had me fooled you know.” Fenton said suddenly.

“Oh, about what?” Mark asked.

“That you might be a decent person.” Fenton said. “Instead of a total jerk.”

“I’m not that bad.” Mark said with a roll of his eyes.

Mark couldn’t see Fenton’s expression but he could only guess that Fenton had an not pleased look on his face.

“Really? You actually think that?” Fenton asked.

“I didn’t pay for you to try to push morals on me.” Mark said.

“You paid for time with me. You didn’t pay for me to not tell you the truth.” Fenton said.

Mark rolled his eyes.

“Fine, whatever. Just smile while I take a selfie of us would you?”

Two hours in and Fenton was growing more and more unimpressed with Mark.

After the earlier conversation, Mark had tried speaking with other ball goers, arm firmly around Gizmoduck as he started up conversations. Those conversations didn’t last too long though, the people he was talking to either not at all getting what Mark was saying or finding Mark to be an annoyance.

Mark’s arm was still ever present when attempting to talk to these people.

Then Mark started to talk more to Fenton.

Mark had spent most of the night talking about himself thus far. Not a shock to Fenton. Mark was always one to talk a lot about himself.

Though Mark talking about himself was better then he attempting to get to know Fenton.

“So… tell me more about yourself?”

That figured he wanted to know more now the moment Fenton had that thought.

“Which self are you referring to?” Fenton asked.

“I don’t know. Both I guess. I mean, I saw what you really looked like already. So that’s not a mystery.” Mark said.

“You’ll have to excuse me if I don’t want to share personal details about myself with you.” Fenton said.

Mark shrugged.

“Maybe I’m just trying to get details because I am actually trying to act like a caring person. Maybe some of your moralizing got through. Ever think of that?” Mark asked.

Fenton frowned. As much as he hated Mark, he did want to try and see the good in others. Or at least try to give them the chance to prove they had a good streak somewhere. Maybe somewhere really, really deep down. But there.

“I… guess that could be possible.” Fenton said.

“Oh anythings possible.” Mark said.

A buzz noise sounded from Fenton’s helmet. It took his a second to realize Gyro was contacting him via an built in communication device in the suit.

“Pardon me, I need to take this.” Fenton said. “It might be an emergency.”

“I feel you.” Mark said, drawing out his phone, possibly to check up on some apps as he had been doing time to time during the night.

Fenton willed the suit to pick up the call.

“Why are you with Mark Beaks!” Gyro’s shrill yell echoed in his helmet.

Fenton quickly turned down the volume.

“I’m sorry, but he won the charity auction an- wait, how do you know i’m with Mark Beaks?” Fenton asked.

“Because apparently there are pictures all over the net. And it’s going what do the kids call it… virus? Ugh, anyways, where was I… oh right. Not only are you in pictures with that hack, but you’re dating him?” Gyro shouted.

“What!?” Fenton cried, voice a little shriller then he intended. “I am not dating Mark Beaks! Why would you thi-”

Fenton froze, it all coming into place.

“I’ll call you back. I need to talk to someone.”

Fenton hung up the call before turning to Mark.

“You posted those pictures of us on the net and said we were dating!?” Fenton cried.

“Well yeah. I mean, we would make a great couple don’t you think?” Mark asked.

“I… I don’t even know where to begin with this! You-”

What Fenton had to say was interrupted by an announcement.

“Tonight we have raised so much for the Duckberg food kitchen. Thank you all for your kindness.”

Fenton glared at Mark a moment before turning to leave.

“Oh look, party is over. And so is my obligation to you. Now if you don’t mind I have to go. Possibly wash off the suit a bit.” Fenton said.

“Sure you don’t want to join me at the after party.” Mark asked.

“Balls don’t have after parties… I think. Either way, the answer is no.” Fenton replied.

For a split second Mark looked annoyed. But he quickly regained control of his emotions and shrugged.

“Cool, cool. Whatever. See you some other time soon then?” Mark asked.

Fenton was already gone, helicoptering away into the night and trying to figure out how he was going to deal with this possible fallout.

[aewenaiyana]

Rescue Chapter 1

Tashi limped into the dark saloon. Sickly-sweet smoke of lacchsa pipes wafted through the room; she almost gagged. She'd always hated the stuff, and didn't know exactly why she was here, except for the tip she'd gotten about a hero of the rebellion, Zaraj, snatched away in the night.

Trying to stifle her limp, she sauntered up to the bar and sat down on the bench. She rested her arms on the counter and gratefully stretched out her injured leg, which had still not recovered completely despite the medpatch and the best doctor she could afford. She suspected it had not healed correctly and it would never be the same again.

The bartender wobbled up to her. A man—unusual. She felt a sort of kinship with him just from his imperfect stride, an old injury perhaps.

"What'll it be?" he said. He had dark circles under his eyes as if he'd been up all night, and he wore a grease-stained gray shirt and an apron over his pants.

"I'll have a Noontide."

The man nodded and hobbled away to pour her a glass, then clunked it onto the bar so that a bit of foam spilled out onto the stained, pockmarked wood.

Tashi sipped the drink, and struggled not to make a face. She never drank alcohol if she could help it; she didn't know why people wanted to dull their senses, especially with something that tasted so foul. At least this was the lightest drink she could get, and so it would not make her drunk on one glass.

Tashi scrounged for a question to command the bartender's attention before it could be diverted. She had to know if Zaraj had been kidnapped; she'd been scouring the countryside for the past two days, working ever westward on the trail of vague rumors. She hoped it was not true, but there was no one else who felt that it warranted the time and effort. Just because he was a man.

If it had been her father, she would have gone to the ends of the earth for him. She had her father back, though wounded. Jet was safe at home, an infinite distance from this world. Zaraj had nothing, no one. He deserved a better fate. Now that things were settling down, the rebels were carving out a domain free of Lapparan, but it was still a bit chaotic. Zaraj had fallen through the cracks. But this district had to be one of justice—that was what they had fought for. Not least, for justice for slaves, like Zaraj. He did not deserve to be a slave; he should be hailed as a hero, just as much as the women. As much as Jet.

"So have you been working here long?" Tashi asked.

"Two years." He polished a glass. "I know what you're thinking. It's strange for a man to be in my position. But that's the good thing about being out here. A man has more opportunities, more freedom."

Some don't, she thought, though she figured that, as a man, he'd probably be sympathetic.

"How's business?"

He waved a hand. "Slow at the moment, as you can see."

A few scattered women sat at tables, smoking, drinking, conversing. There were several men as well, sitting next to women. The activity was quiet, muted, but then, it was early afternoon.

"How is it in general?"

"Good, for such a remote place. We're pretty much the last outpost before the untamed wilds."

She nodded. This dusty frontier town was her last stop; she had no idea where to go if she didn't find Zaraj here. How could one man disappear so thoroughly? It wasn't as if the west was densely populated.

"Do you have any…entertainment?"

"Oh, yes. Any bar worth anything has that. Just not at three-quarter in the afternoon. Come back at ten and five, that's when the action starts. We've got some real beauties, unlike the other bar in town."

She winced inwardly at his obvious marketing ploy. Women exploiting men was abhorrent, but they did it because they were in power; for men to have no shame about exploiting their own sex—she didn't understand it.

She leaned forward, setting her half-empty glass on the bar, and arranged her features into an expression she hoped looked eager. "What sort of entertainment?"

"Oh, all kinds. I tried to get the best possible, as far out as we are. It's why I'm the top of my game—even competing with women in the area."

She nodded. That explained what he was doing. You had to trample others down to get ahead…or at least, that was one way. Tashi had to believe that was not the only way to succeed.

The bartender leaned his arms on the bar, setting down his oilstained towel. "So, what's your pleasure? We have singers, dancers—this gorgeous creature called Masanai who does both. And then we have the more…private kind of entertainments. You can rent a booth in the back—" He waved a hand toward the door that led behind the stage—"and one of our dancers will strip for you. Then we have our upstairs rooms, where you can spend an hour with the company of your desire."

Revulsion cut through her; she fought to disguise it with mild interest. She had to admit, she had been quite sheltered—though she doubted she'd ever think this kind of thing was okay. "So, how much do these…encounters cost?"

He gave a laugh. "Encounter—that's a good one. You must come from the East."

"I did…when I was younger."

"Out here, we are a bit looser with our language, and our diversions."

That's not the only thing you're 'loose' with, she thought. In the east, they at least keep up the pretense of morality. Though even I got a hint of what went on behind closed doors, the degradation of some of those poor men, before we moved when I was ten….I thought it would be cleaner in the west. Less stifling and corrupt. In a way it is…in some quarters. Other places are filled with tyranny…still others with lawlessness. And then there are the decent, honorable people….I admit, there are still more in the west than the east, proportionately anyway.

"It costs more to bed a man than it does to just stay the night alone. In some inns it doesn't, but here—we've got top quality, and so we bill for it. Believe me, you won't be disappointed. A third of our business, in fact, comes from our beautiful young men who know how to please. They would be honored to entertain a lovely young woman such as yourself." He regarded her judiciously. "You look like you've been far, and you have some money to spare on a bit of relaxation."

She turned away so he wouldn't see the disgust on her face. Or the blush that warmed her cheeks. At least she was tan enough it was probably invisible…. She hated to think of herself in such a role, because even if she was the kind of person who went in for…that sort of entertainment, she could never imagine herself enjoying another's suffering. Because she knew this much: Most of the men were coerced. They did not choose this life. Even if they did, they were often beaten and wanted out, but their owners would not let them. If they were not slaves to start out with, they became slaves by default.

But she had to at least feign interest for the sake of Zaraj. She hated the thought he might have ended up here after all he'd suffered under Lapparan.

"Would it be possible to see the…merchandise?" She tried not to choke on the word. "I would like to see a selection of what I am purchasing before I make a decision."

"Of course, of course. Would you like to see them now, or order another drink first?"

She couldn't stomach another drink. And dreaded what would happen next. But she might as well get it over with. If she didn't find any trace of Zaraj here, she'd try out the other bar in town, and every other place until he was safe under her protection.

Beneath her long coat, her pistol hung heavy in her belt. She hoped she would not need it.

"I'd like to see the men," she said.

The bartender nodded and waved to a young woman, who came up and took his place at the bar.

"What's your name?" she asked.

"Rancasal. You can call me Ran."

She followed him back behind the door, past booths draped with gaudy red and yellow curtains. At the very back was a private "group viewing room," as Ran called it, with a velvet-lined bench along the edge near the back door, and a small stage with a more elegant red curtain.

"Go ahead, take a seat." Ran motioned to the bench. "I'll go get the men. They're resting up right now, but they're always ready to entertain a guest." He smiled and disappeared behind the curtain.

Tashi sat down, leaning against the wooden wall. Her leg ached; she wished for one of those magnificent medpatches that Jet had given her. But even her tansa leaf had run out, and so she'd just have to make do for now til she could scavenge more.

Creaks and groans from the floorboards above. Pounding of bare feet, boots. Voices, some languid, some energetic, some fearful. Then footsteps down the stairway, and the curtain rustled. Ran emerged and walked down to stand on the floor between Tashi and the stage. A moment later, two women stepped out and stood on either side of the stage. They were clad in elegant black and silver uniforms, their hair bound back with a hint of glitter.

A line of men filed out and stood on stage, side by side. They had a lot less on than the women—just tight black and silver pants. Some were tall; some short; some heavier, some thin, but Ran was right—they were all especially good looking. They had handsome faces and toned, pleasantly-proportioned bodies, which were sheened with a faint shimmer, and they moved with an effortless grace.There was even a Fed among them; he had the typical golden-brown skin and black hair of his race. Most of them had pleasant expressions; few seemed to have scars. Perhaps this was one of the rare brothels that treated their men well. If so, it was probably due to the fact that a man ran it, one who seemed to have the well-being of his charges in mind, despite his focus on profit. Perhaps because of it—as men who were happy and willing would probably perform better.

Zaraj was not among them. It was a relief, in a way; if the men here were not slaves, then he would never have come to work for such a place. Hopefully he was not at the other inn either; she doubted that both bars in town treated their men well.

"Any of these interest you?" said Ran.

She let her eyes flit over the men who sold their bodies each night, and wondered how anyone could willingly accept such a job. Though there were few ways to make a living this far on the frontier…

Tashi stood, knowing that to just leave would arouse suspicion. And she had to be absolutely certain Zaraj was not here. "Mind if I get closer?"

"Go ahead."

Shoving down her trepidation, she strode across the red-carpeted floor and up the steps to the stage. She felt out of her depth pretending to be interested in buying a man’s body, something she had never imagined herself doing. But the men looked at her with mild interest, and she had to feign interest in return.

She gave the line of ten men a cursory glance, then strode over to a man in the middle. He was tall, blond, muscular, tanned. His blue eyes boldly appraised her. He gave a bow as she stopped in front of him, holding the position, but still meeting her eyes.

"What's your name?" she asked.

"Masanai."

"How do they treat you here?" She spoke barely above a whisper, not wanting Ran to hear.

"How do they treat me, mistress? What matters is how I will treat you. I would be delighted to minister to your every need. I am well-versed in the art of pleasure; I can be what you want of me—rough, gentle, subservient, dominant…anything in between. There is nothing I will not do, no new thing I will not try. I am one of the more experienced men here, but if you want me to act virginal, that's within my repertoire." He flashed a brilliant smile.

She gave him a smile back, a bit disconcerted. He was a charming creature. She'd never been propositioned so boldly…but then, she'd never been in a brothel before. She was not tempted in the least—she would not give into immorality—but she couldn't help but feel an attraction toward him. Probably more disarming because she was not used to such situations. She forced herself to put on the invisible steel armor of professionalism. She didn't want to get sidetracked or worse, found out, because she got caught off-guard.

She walked past the blond man and stopped in front of the Fed. He was smaller, about Tashi’s height, and instead of exuding boldness and good humor, his eyes did not meet hers. He held his hands crossed in front of him, almost a protective gesture. Scars laced his chest.

"Do they mistreat you?"

"N-no, mistress," he said, in a barely audible voice. "They are very good to me here."

His response hardly reassured her. She whirled to face Ran. "Do you mistreat your men?"

"No, no, they're very good, very obedient. We only punish them as a last resort. Don't want to scar them up."

"What about this?" She touched the Fed's arm, near a hash of scar slashes. He flinched, but did not pull away.

"He came with those. It's a trademark of all Fed slaves—they don't exactly serve us willingly."

"He's a slave?"

"Yes. A very obedient one."

I'm sure. You wouldn't give him a chance.

"How many of the men are slaves?" She tried to keep the accusation out of her voice, though she caught a hint of it in her tone.

"Only about four or five of them. My bar attracts the best; I don't need to force them."

"Do you have any others?"

"Are none of these to your satisfaction?"

"I asked if you had any others."

He bowed. "Yes, my lady. We have others. But they are in training, and not ready for your perusal."

"I want to see them."

"I'm sorry, it's simply not our policy."

She dug in her inner coat pocket and brought out the pouch of silver coins. Not many remained. She dug out two of them, tossed them to Ran. He caught them in midair, then inspected them. "I don't think—"

She tossed him a heavier silver coin—an arkris, with the portrait of the Empress on it—and he nodded. He beckoned her back behind the curtain, down a hallway, and through a door to the outside. Sunlight blinded her for a moment. She caught a glimpse of her horse, Nadiras, tied in front of the bar. Then Ran led her back over gravelly ground, sparsely populated with grass, to a log shed. He opened the sturdy steel door, enclosing her in darkness. It took a moment for her eyes to adjust. Sunlight filtered through the cracks between the logs. In the center of the room was a bed. And face down on the bed, his arms and legs tied to the bedposts, lay a man. His back was raw from a recent whipping. He had shaggy, shoulder-length brown hair.

He opened his eyes, and even in the dimness she could see their brilliant blue.

Zaraj.

-

you can read the rest here.

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[thebibliomancer]

Essential Avengers: Avengers #174: Captives of the Collector!

August, 1978

I’ve been kind of excited to get to this issue. Because this was the very first Avengers cover I ever saw.

Back when I was a tiny bibliomancer, perhaps a novellamancer or even a pamphletmancer and I didn’t know what the Avengers even were.

My conception of superheroes was mostly X-Men, Spider-Man, and Batman. Because of cartoons.

But I had a few issues of Wizard magazine and there was a price guide in the back. Because this was back in the heady, foolish days where the speculation market was booming and comics seemed like a real investment.

And the price guide sometimes had tiny images of covers to keep it from being just a page of letters and numbers. And I saw this cover and thought ‘I have no idea what’s going on here.’ I think I might have thought it was a Justice League thing.

In fairness, Justice League would totally have people in tubes on the cover.

So I don’t really have anything to say about this cover because I just get drawn into a vortex of memory. But I do have to point and laugh at Hawkeye who tied a cable around himself so he could swing around like Flynn but it doesn’t seem like its long enough for him to touch ground.

Anyway, lets get down to business. To review. This comic.

Last time: the Avengers met the Guardians of the Galaxy and agreed to help them with a time traveling cyborg called Korvac. Unbeknownst to anyone, Korvac married a supermodel and settled down in Forest Hills to pursue his dream job of taking over all of existence.

Meanwhile, the Avengers have gotten into shit with the government and gotten their sweet governmental perks withdrawn because their security is shit and the asshole Peter Henry Gyrich won’t brook that nonsense.

They’ve also been dealing with a strange rash of disappearances that have taken all their members and tangentially related characters until all they were left with was Thor, Iron Man, the Wasp, and Hawkeye. With the Guardians’ help, they tracked the disappearances to a non-TARDIS orbiting Earth where they discovered... THE COLLECTOR!

And now... the rest of the story.

The Collector gloats that actually the Avengers finding his secret hiding spot is a good thing because now his collection is complete and he’s not at all worried that now they’re in punching range.

When Iron Man and Hawkeye point out that they’ve been through this song and dance before, the Collector menaces them with a shake weight.

Or apparently a Vandarian Power Wand.

Which apparently only has one charge because when Iron Man deflects the Vandarian power blast with his iron abs, Collector just doesn’t use it again.

In fact, when Thor comes at him (the Vandarian Power Wand having been explicitly stated to be able to harm even Thor), the Collector (or Acquisitor as Thor calls him) summons... THE ENERGY CREATURES OF ERDILE!

They look like lightning peeps with kirby krackle but they are in fact, probably not lightning.

When Thor hits one in the krackle with Mjolnir, Mjolnir becomes stuck and Thor becomes unable to release his grip on it.

According to the Collector, hitting the ENERGY CREATURE OF ERDILE in the tum caused Mjolnir to pass into another dimension where it is held fast by the dimensional interface. And if Thor manages to pull it free, IT WILL DESTROY THAT ANOTHER DIMENSION! DOOMING BILLIONS!

The Collector is fun, provided you have a tolerance for villains whose whole thing is pulling new powers out of their ass. Like a kid in a sandbox who keeps making up new powers so they never lose make believe. Or like Gilgamesh from Fate.

The Collector is more fun than Gilgamesh though. Get rekt, Archer.

Speaking of archers, Hawkeye hangs back to help Thor... with morale support? while Iron Man tries to tackle the Collector.... ‘s hologram.

FOOLED YOU

Such a troll.

He then attacks Iron Man with “a simple child’s toy” he acquired on the planet Dergos, where the children MOVE FASTER THAN THOUGHT ITSELF. Which is good because this simple child’s toy shoots dozens of missiles which burst open to release gas on impact.

Iron Man seals off his armor from the gas but it wasn’t a poison gas or sleep gas. It was a gas that locks up metal joints, imprisoning Iron Man in his own iron, man!

FOOLED YOU!

The Wasp tries to distract the Collector by giving him a chance to exposit. Its the best thing for distracting villains, usually.

The Wasp: “Why are you doing this? What do you want from us??”

The Collector: “Why, a complete set! A perfect collection -- of Earth’s mightiest heroes! The only such collection of its kind -- that will survive the time soon to come!”

And then - not distracted at all - he shoots Thor and Hawkeye with a positron cannon. Because by this point, Mjolnir had absorbed enough negative energy from the ENERGY CREATURE OF ERDILE that the sudden positive energy knocks him the hell out.

And the Collector was lying about the other dimension.

FOOLED YOU!!

The Wasp has had just about enough at this point so she shoots the Collector in his wrinkly mug.

So he unleashes a flying roomba that catches her in an electrified net.

And now that just leaves Hawkeye.

The Collector: “Now, archer -- you are the last Avenger... and the least!”

Hawkeye: “That depends on whether you’re judging by raw power or skill, Collector! I may not be much in the first category! On the other hand -- in the second... Hawkeye is the best there is!”

Disarmed with a clamp-arrow (because of course Hawkeye has a clamp-arrow. He has a bouquet arrow and an antigravity arrow, a clamp-arrow is baby stuff), the Collector flees deeper into his not-TARDIS and unleashes a not-pterodactyl at Hawkeye.

Hawkeye manages to dodge its SKAW swoop and then uses a bola to ground the lethal flying lizard.

Oh how the table is on the other foot now. Before, it was the Collector who was pulling out new toys to triumph over every challenge but now Hawkeye is doing the same with arrows.

I guess the third best superpower (after squirrels and ants) is just having an indeterminate amount of stuff on your person.

Or, I guess. Versatility? Fear not the man who can punch really well, fear the man that carries arrows for esoteric purposes.

The Collector is starting to warm up to Hawkeye. In his own way.

The Collector: “You are resourceful! Perhaps you are even worth collecting for yourself -- and not just for your membership in the Avengers!”

But he continues fleeing and Hawkeye continues chasing. And the Collector is like hey rude, I’m going to prepare something horrible for you so stop follow.

And he drops some incendiary capsules which burst into flame.

So Hawkeye grappling hook arrows over the fires.

The Collector is apparently really spry because he’s already way ahead of Hawkeye but on a lower platform.

So Hawkeye gets a wonderful idea and summons his inner Flynn.

He uses his sharpened croissant arrow to cut a cable so he can swing down in front of the Collector. And now he has him cornered on a catwalk. Not able to grab any new collectibles. And if he had something on his person that was better, he would have used it by now.

So I guess Hawkeye wins. Although this is only page 12. Weird.

The Collector gives Hawkeye one last chance to surrender. Which. I mean, he must have something up his sleeve, right? Perhaps some last collectible that he didn’t want to use because it was mint in box.

Hawkeye: “Sorry, pal, I don’t buy it! I figure our surprise entrance caught you more off-guard than you’ll admit! You lucked out against the others, with gadgets you had lying around... but if you had anything to throw at me now, you wouldn’t be standing there flapping your lips!”

The Collector: “Bah! One needs no gadgetry -- who commands POWER COSMIC! I am old beyond your ken, insect -- and it has been eons since I wielded the energies I possess! It is a chore at my age! I resent being forced into this!”

And he or she who possesses the power cosmic can do all kinds of things like breath in space, talk to squirrels or apparently cause the catwalk to warp and wrap around Hawkeye to crush him.

Hawkeye: (*Uhh* What an idiot I am! Why didn’t I try to free the others? Why did I try to take him alone? Now we’ve all had it! Why did I have to be... the last?)

But he fires off one last hail mary arrow on one last physics baffling bank shot.

Except I was lying. It wasn’t a hail mary arrow. It was a taser arrow. And it hits the Collector right in the shoulder, causing him to collapse in pain.

Victory: Hawkeye!

He goes to revive the other Avengers and free them from their comfortable tubes.

And now it looks like the Collector has some ‘splainin to do.

The Collector: “I -- ? Explain to such as you? Absurd!”

He then proceeds to explain his entire backstory and motivation.

Because. Villains CANNOT resist. Exposition.

He explains that he is one of the Elders of the Universe. Extremely old people that have obsession based immortality. Basically, as long as they’re obsessed over their one thing, they’ll stay alive to do that one thing. Like the Grandmaster and his games. Or the Collector and his collecting.

Although much of the nuance of the Extremely Old People of the Universe is something we learn later.

The Collector explains that although his brother roamed in search of games, he only wanted to study the simple creatures of the universe. I guess he started off as more of a the Zookeeper or the Botanist than a hoarding the Collector.

But the Collector also had the gift of prophecy and he foresaw the rise of Thanos, a power that would rival the Elders and threaten universal death.

Concerned over the fates of the primitive creatures he loved so much but afraid of challenging Thanos, the Collector set out to preserve them. Gathering samples. Collecting, basically.

But to his surprise, Thanos was destroyed. Turned into stone by Adam Warlock.

The Collector might have stopped collecting then (which would have killed him, as losing your obsession can make an Elder just drop dead) but he foresaw the coming of another, even more dangerous power.

And this time, he chose to interfere.

Annnnnnnnnnnnd that brings us back to Forest Hills where Carina is confessing to Korvac that she was to betray him but couldn’t bring herself to.

She confesses that her father sent her to spy on him and that he is a prophet who foresaw that Korvac would be cruising for a date at a fashion show.

Korvac is peeved.

Not that Carina was sent to spy on him, it doesn’t seem.

Korvac: “If he is a prophet, can he not see that this troubled planet is destined to find peace only under my proprietorship! Nothing... no one can be allowed to interfere!”

And even as Carina begs him not to, Korvac finds the Collector’s hidden not-TARDIS in orbit and reaches towards it crackling with energies.

Back on the Not-TARDIS, the Avengers are still quizzing the Collector.

Iron Man: “-- So you were playing a sort of galactic Noah, huh? Preserving us helpless ‘lower lifeforms’ from a horrible fate!”

Indeed. But the Collector feared that just preserving the creatures he’s so fascinated by won’t be enough.

This newest enemy might cause a war among the great powers of the cosmos (your Odins, your Zeuses, your Mephistos, your Eternitys. Those guys) in his attempt to achieve universal sovereignty. And such a war could obliterate all reality.

Which is why this time, he interfered. He sent his daughter to spy on the enemy in hopes of finding a weakness.

Iron Man: “You sacrificed your daughter?”

The Collector: “Perhaps... and it seems she now returns the favor!”

But before the Collector can reveal the name of the enemy (Korvac), a bolt of energy strikes him from out of the blue, disintegrating the Avengers’ old foe.

RIP the Collector. You were one of the greats.

The Avengers are horrified that the unnamed enemy (Korvac) so easily struck down the Collector, just when he was about to reveal the enemy’s identity.

Iron Man: “And right before our eyes -- as if to show us how insignificant we are! Fleas compared to a being -- who can kill a god!”

And the issue ends back in Forest Hills, with Korvac telling a crying Carina that she is now an orphan.

Because he just killed her dad.

So here we are on issue #174 of the Korvac Saga which started in issue #167. For the first time, the Avengers are actually aware of the nature of the threat. They heard from the Guardians that Korvac was up to something but his machinations are so subtle and so above the Avengers, they likely never would have found out until it was too late if it hadn’t been for the Collector.

Although Korvac is the big overarching threat of this saga, the plot has been driven by the Collector reacting to it, rather than Korvac himself.

And that’s interesting to me.

The Collector goes back to issue #28 of the Avengers so he’s about as classic an Avengers foe as you can get. And this saga is kind of his story too.

Its backloaded into this issue because mystery. But we learn so much about the Collector here. A little about his origin, about his secret powers, that he has a daughter, and his motivation.

And considering what a nerd he’s been, ranting about his perfect collection of Avengers (was collecting complete runs as much of a thing back then?), he has a surprisingly sympathetic motivation.

Its even a little bit of a retcon given how he’s acted before. But as of this story, all he wanted was to preserve the things he loved. And that included the Avengers with all their daring and adventure and melodrama.

Although, its kind of hard to ignore how much the Collector was just worfed. He was never a powerhouse but as I said, he is a classic Avengers villain from their third year in print.

And he got new, never mentioned powers in this issue. THE POWER COSMIC. The same juice that makes Silver Surfer and Galactus so peppy.

With little effort, Korvac killed him from afar. How scary he must be to manage that. Even when the Collector saw it coming literal miles away.

Oh, speaking of retcons. It is interesting to me to trace the Collector going back and forth from fantasy to sci-fi.

In his first appearance, he used flying carpets, giant summoning beans, potions, and a catapult. At the end of that appearance, he used a time machine though.

In his second appearance in Avengers #51, he has a spaceship and he uses aliens and robots to fight the Avengers.

In Avengers #119, he strikes during Halloween and uses the legendary coats of Hercules, the birthstones of the half-mythical Vultures of Nepenthe, and two rocks that summon infinite bats.

And now in this issue, he has a not-TARDIS that hides in another dimension and uses power wands, energy beings, a child’s missile launcher, and a positron cannon. Plus he reveals his sci-fi origin as one of the oldest beings in the universe.

I don’t think this means anything but its interesting. I think the Collector is more solidly on the sci-fi side of things going forward but its interesting to see his inspiration sine wave like this.

Next time: the Korvac Saga starts to wind to a close. The Avengers now know there’s a mysterious enemy who threatens all of reality. What do?

There might be a delay in new posts. I’m taking a trip to the cold lands this week and I don’t think I’ll be able to get two more posts done before I have to leave.

Use that time to not google ahead for spoilers. Also, maybe follow @essential-avengers. That would be cool of you.

[hellyeahheroes]

Secret Empire: Top Ten DUMBEST Moments

As far as events go, Secret Empire is probably one of the worst. And considering both Civil Wars, Ultimatum, Amazons’ Attack and Countdown are events, that bar has been set pretty low. So as it finally comes to an end, seven months too late, let us showcase some of the worst decisions made during the creation of this story. They made it into such colossal trainwreck.

Honorable Mention: Dress Like a Nazi To Work Day

Out of all moronic decisions in this event, this was the one that irks me the most because it slipped into real life. Marvel tried to get their retailers to not only dress in Hydra shirts the day the book premieres but also dress their entire store in Hydra symbols. At least one store owner told them they hire LGBTQ and Jewish people and will be dropping Marvel. Hard to blame that person. Who in their right mind tells people selling his product to dress like a Nazi?! And don’t tell me the old “Hydra isn't Nazis” crap. First of all, even if they’re not, they’re still a fascist death cult that had absolutely no moral qualms about working with the Nazis during World War II, copying from their style and being effectively taken over by remnants of Nazi Germany multiple times. At this point, it’s splitting hair. And two, Marvel, you had Steve Rogers say Hail Hydrand a whole year before. Since then you were constantly trying to tell people Hydra isn’t a Nazi organization and NOBODY BOUGHT IT! At this point, you should have looked at the “Hydra Takeover” idea and realize it might backfire. That this wasn’t recalled but went through only proves that Marvel’s head is so deep up its very ass they no longer see the reality.

Number Ten: Captain America Walking Out Of Himself and Standing Nearby

It is undeniable that Marvel did horrible damage to Captain America in this story, basically twisting the guy into everything he wasn’t. I was honestly afraid how, if ever, they manage to fix the character. But I was not expecting them to pull out the good, old-fashioned chickening out by having an identical copy of the character before he was ruined appear to take over. While seeing real Captain America beat the shit out of Captain Nazi is really cathartic, one cannot forget it came to be through rather...ridiculous means.

Number Nine: Tony Stark

Okay, this one is simple. Tony Stark is in this story. Despite being in a coma. Tony Stark holographic A.I. from Brian Bendis’ Invincible Iron Man is filling in for him. Only here he parades around in Tony’s old armor all the time without anyone commenting on it, recalibrated his personality to be constantly drunk and at one point Steve Rogers tries to decapitate him, a hologram, talking some technobabble about how Hydra made it possible for Tony to die this way.

He’s just Tony Stark. He is Tony Stark because Spencer had scenes requiring Tony Stark to be there and instead of killing his darlings like a good writer, he just wrote clearly human Tony Stark and threw some half-assed explanations and lampshades. It’s silly and makes every scene with him impossible to take seriously.

Number Eight: All the Fucking Quislings!

This one is bad. And I mean, just simply bad. Okay, it’s multiple problems, not a singular one. But it makes my very insides turn at the thought. Nick Spencer asked how can he threw some moral ambiguity IN AN EVENT ABOUT HEROES FIGHTING LITERALLY NAZIS and the best idea he had was to have some random heroes join Hydra. I’m not talking here about those who were brainwashed, like Wanda and Vision, although that is a conversation to also be had by their fans about how often this treatment occurs. Although I wonder - if they are too powerful to let them roam freely, why even HAVE them in this event? It’s not like every superhero was there, currently, heroic Victor Von Doom could probably break Hydra at day one and he was nowhere to be seen.

No, the real problem is with the fact they made some heroes join Hydra willingly. Sometimes they tried to throw flimsy reasons in. Punisher joined to get his family back...even though in previous stories he refused the same offer from less evil people. I feel it’s kinda funny they did this with Frank, considering the man who more or less defined him, Chuck Dixon, has thrown in with real-life Nazis like Milo Yiannopolus. Meanwhile, Deadpool and Thor just go along with letting Nazis rule the States because....Steve Rogers said so and Steve Rogers is always right. That’s just a plain stupidity and total lack of compassion on their side. I’m sure don’t feel like buying any book starring them ever now.

But the worst one is, by far, the Hulk. Who also comes back to life for this event, only to smash for Hydra and immediately die.But that is not the worst part. The worst part is how they build up to it. By having Hydra Steve give Bruce Banner long speech over how Avengers and everyone mistreated him over the years and with Hydra he will finally be accepted for who he is. And Banner calls him a Nazi and tells to go fuck himself. And it is a very powerful moment, Bruce Banner symbolizes everyone disfranchised by the society being offered hand by Nazis and heroically rejecting it... Nah, turns out Rogers was talking to Hulk who felt like changing his catchphrase to Sig Heil. I don’t think Spencer even realized what message he sent by this one moment. He basically said that everyone who has been screwed over by the system secretly agrees with the Nazis, but are “too PC” or “too weak” to say it out loud. It’s stupid AND extremely insulting, two for the price of one.

Number Seven: BARF!

How to properly seed a classic Chekov’s Gunman and yet STILL make him feel like a Deus Ex Machina? Make him ridiculously fucking stupid, that’s how!

Enter Barf, a random Inhuman with the power to vomit up things he needs. He shows up in the first issue, is absent through the entire story only to reappear in Captain America #25 and vomit out a fragment of Cosmic Cube. Because why let people work for their victory and earn their happy ending when you can just have all their efforts blow in their faces and just have means of victory handled to them on a silver platter in the most blatant way possible! If Nick Spencer knew he’s going to write himself into a corner, couldn’t he simply change the plot to avoid it instead of setting up something so stupid?

Number Six: Thou Shalt Not Kill, Miles

After Civil War II we were left with a vision of the future where Miles Morales kills Captain America. Once Secret Empire rolled around and we saw Rogers go full Alt-Right on the country, many were hoping this will actually happen. And Miles, with a handful of friends, does join Black Widow in her efforts to off Captain Nazi. And she spends most of the series training them to be more like her....then talking how she doesn’t actually want them to be more like her and how her generation screwed things up....then taking them on the assassination day anyway only to lock Miles up to kill Rogers herself and when that fails, give up her life trying to stop their fight. Which, in the classic refrigerator fashion, pushes Miles hard enough to actually do this. Only to be given one of the most hollow, lazy-written speeches about how killing is wrong. It hits all the old, tired notes. “Heroes should be better than villains”. “If you kill him, you will be just like him!” (a reminder that “you” in this situation is a Black-Latino and “him” is A FUCKING NAZI FOR CHRIST”S SAKE...). “Natasha wouldn’t want this for you.” (she showed it in the strangest way).... It’s especially bad when you have a character who has a backstory of being trained to kill but rejecting those ways, like Nadia Van Dyne, delivering this speech. Despite her background and personality none of this sounds like her words. It reads like she was going through a checklist of tired cliches.

This is why I came to hate this Aesop that superheroes shouldn’t kill. Because nine times out of ten this isn’t done to actually be a piece of a character driven narrative. It’s done to give a bunch of excuses to let villain live when he deserves to die.

Also, that entire plot point dragged since the previous event, in the end, amounted to BUG FUCKING NOTHING!

Number Five: Who Cares About the Civilians, Right?

So okay, the day is saved, villains are defeated, Captain Nazi got his ass kicked by Steve Rogers and Kobik, a sentient cosmic cube, undoes all this damage. EXCEPT FOR FUCKING VEGAS, WHICH HYDRA LEVELED AND LEFT NOT SURVIVORS! Seriously, I don’t care about the explanations given. Someone should have asked her to do it. And no, some “leave it as a reminder” excuse doesn’t work, Kobik is mentally three years old, she isn’t some wise all-powerful being like Odin or the Stranger from whom we could buy this shit. This is pretty much done only so that Nick Spencer can claim he kept his promise to not undo everything by the cosmic cube. He didn’t undo EVERYTHING, that counts, right? It makes all the heroes look like morons and assholes. Even Z Fighters in Dragon Ball have enough decency to ask the dragon to resurrect all dead civilians when they undo everything after every arc. Marvel heroes, for all the “lessons” this even taught them, couldn’t be assed to do even that.

Number Four: Ultron the Centrist

I’ll be honest with you, Pymltron wearing “Kiss the Overlord” apron, forcing Avengers and Hydra to sit and roasting all of them was one of the best parts of the event. But then it also comes off as paying lip service to the “both sides are as bad” mentality that we saw being used by people of today to desperately try to equate alt-right and those opposing them in real life. It’s pretty much justifying this approach in this story and it doesn’t matter one saying that is a fusion of mentally unstable man and a genocidal robot - he never gets challenged on this position because, for all his talk otherwise on twitter, Nick Spencer apparently cannot think of a compelling argument against it. I guess he secretly agrees with him...

And it doesn’t help that while Ultron ends up aiding the good guys, he does say it’s because Hydra became too strong and might pose a threat to him. Sending a message that any outside powers that show support to those opposing Nazis, in reality, wants America’s destruction...

Number Three: Nazi Pandering

Do I really need to explain this one? The entire event does nothing but bends over to kiss Hydra, and by the extension, Nazi ass at every possible opportunity. They beat up all superheroes because the plot says so, while the narrator goes on and on about how NAZI STRONK! We’re told they were supposed to win the World War II and that Allies “cheated” by rewriting reality...but for some reason let the Holocaust in?! Their rule is shown as being the strongest, which is water to the mill of real-life Nazis as their philosophy is based on “might makes right” and they beat up pretty much everyone, even Wakanda. Every victory heroes have against them must be immediately undermined by giving Nazis another win for consolidation. And while the heroes win at the end, this comes after several issues portraying them as absolutely pathetic losers who didn’t really earn their happy ending but it was handed to them by a random inhuman and Deus Ex Machina device. Which brings us to the next point...

Number Two: Cosmic Cubes

All the dumb shit going in this event can be tracked back to Cosmic Cube, be it as Kobik or the shards. She causes Crazy Steve to emerge, launching this story. And she fixes this mess at the end. Shards of Cosmic Cube serve as a distraction to put both good and bad guys on a wild goose chase because Spencer couldn’t think of any actually interesting plotline for this event. All dumb shit evil Steve pulls out can be explained by them. When it’s time for heroes to win, Barf vomits out a shard. And It undermines everything. A story that entirely revolves around this crap doesn’t have any time to actually show things it’s talking about. Maybe instead of running after Dragon Balls, more time should be developed to show how lack of trust and resentments between the good guys gets in the way? You know, something the narration keeps talking on and on and on but never is reflected in the book? Or show more of them acting like an actual resistance would? Worse, thanks to them heroes no longer win because they’re heroic but because they’ve been handed the I Win Button. Any easy win of the villains can be explained by them holding the Fuck You That’s Why Button. Making you wonder why even care if everybody wins only by writer’s fiat?

Number One: Bown Down To the Gary Stu

Most of the problems in this entire story can really boil down to just this. Steve Rogers is a gary stu. He wins because Nick Spencer wants to show how cool and badass he is. His plans always go without a hitch and he never has to adapt or improvise, under him, Hydra wrecks everyone's shit, even if he loses he still wins and in the end, the only man allowed to beat him is...another Steve Rogers. All other problems in the story can be traced back to Spencer’s desperate need to make him look strong. And believe me, he tried soo damn hard. Up to have him go full Super Saiyan God Super Saiyan Four Madara Uchicha with Cosmic Cube Dojustsu on everyone’s ass at the finale. I don’t think we’d see a guy being shoved down our throats so hard if Roman Reigns joined Ultramarines! This is where the book truly falls. Nick Spencer could not let go of his fanboyism over the character and it twisted everything he supposedly wanted to say into a parody of itself, often sending the exact opposite message to accommodate the need to make evil Steve Rogers look good.

So, these are ten dumbest moments in the series. As far as events go, this was one of the worst. It looks like it might have ruined Nick Spencer’s career at Marvel and maybe in general, and will probably make it very hard to look at certain characters for years to come. The only good thing you could say is that it finally ended.

Fuck this book.

- Admin

[popcultureadventures]

Comics Critique: Thor: God of Thunder 1-11

There is a lack of in-depth comic criticism going around, isn’t there? I understand why: just between Marvel, DC and Image there is far too much content to review on a monthly basis considering what I assume would be a very small readership. But still, I can’t help but be disappointed with the lack of smart, critical writing going around about contemporary “pop” comics. Expect to see a few think pieces pop up around the launch of a new #1 from a current indie darling, or a progressive super hero book, but expect even more to see that media attention immediately vanish.  Talk about self defeating. If no one can be bothered to put real thought into critiquing these books, then why should the writers and artists and editors ever put any effort into making sure they can stand up to real thought? Anyway, why sit around feeling bad when you could be providing a good example? I’m going to try and write at least a few words about each comic I read. And what I read and when will be all over the place and with no real rhyme or reason :)

Anyway, let’s get on with it and cross the Rainbow Bridge to Asgardia, shall we?

Thor: God of Thunder is the starting point for the current Thor run, written by Jason Aaron and here pencilled by Esad Ribic. You’ve probably seen it in the news as the origin of the “female Thor” that caused the usual boring arguments that we should have worked through in the 90s. But that’s all I’ll say about that. This book I’m actually reviewing comes well before female Thor, and stars regular dick and Mjölnir wielding Thor in a fairly classical adventure. Actually, it stars three Thor’s with dicks, but only two with Mjölnir. But I digress. There are two main ideas Aaron is playing with here: The first is that of a new villain, the God Butcher, who is a seriously powerful and ambitious entity dead set on killing every “God” in the universe, whether they be from Earth’s pantheon or others. The second is the way Aaron splits his story between three different iterations of Thor, the past, present, and future, in the first arc before bringing them together in the second arc for a multi Thor beat down.

Unfortunately, I think Aaron seriously missed a trick or two in his execution of both these concepts. When you’re sure a story is going to go one way and it instead veers off into another well developed direction it can be a nice surprise. What’s more disappointing is when, after developing an interesting idea, the story abandons it and doesn’t find anything of substance to replace it. These issues suffer from just such disappointment. The direction of Aaron’s set up seems fairly clear. Past Thor is arrogant, and prone to making stupid mistakes. In 893 A.D. his initial encounter with the God Butcher is going to go horribly wrong, and instead of owning up to his mistakes he will hide them, so as to protect his pride. Present Thor has to pay for his previous incarnation’s hubris, proving again his moral compass has evolved since Odin banished him to Earth. Meanwhile future Thor, now king of a destroyed Asgard, is going to foreshadow future stories and be a snarky bad ass. This is what I had pegged from about issue 2, and indeed, this is kind of what happens. But it’s all very muddled. Let’s examine the text in detail.

In this page we see one of Gorr’s victims explain to present Thor that “Everything he’s doing now, it’s all because of this cave and what you did to him there.” Keep in mind this is before we find out what past Thor did.

Later, we see past Thor captured by Gorr and seemingly about to give in to torture. He’s rescued in the next panel, and so Aaron sustains the question of "What Thor did in the cave”.

Here’s are the pages crossing between past Thor’s showdown with Gorr post rescue, and present Thor putting up with Gorr’s evil plan exposition dump. The explanation provided doesn’t really explain why we should blame Thor for Gorr’s current actions. It just adds up to “I was killing a lot of God’s, but then Thor almost stopped me, so I realised I had to kill even more and also create a crazy evil master plan”. So we’re meant to blame past Thor for, what, not checking for a body? Can we really expect a viking in 893 A.D. to be genre savvy? It seems Aaron is building up to past Thor having committed some kind of shocking “Original Sin” (haha), but all that foreshadowing doesn’t amount to anything. Except...

And so we finally see Thor’s infamous pride surface. He demands that “we will never speak of this day again.” At first this confused me, due to the lack of direct explanation for what exactly he wished to keep secret. But I guess he just doesn’t want word getting out that he was defeated and held prisoner?

Now, it’s always tricky when you get the feeling that your preconceived notions of a text have influenced your reaction, positive or negative. In this case, I know that nu Thor is coming. I know that original flavour Thor is going to be deemed unworthy and lose Mjölnir. The specifics, I have no idea of. But I was expecting Aaron to begin seeding this development with some hints as to Thor’s flaws, flaws which could easily be consistent with many prior characterisations. And he really does’t. Even when past Thor appears next to Thors 2 and 3 in the second arc through timey wimey machinations, he isn’t characterised as stupid or arrogant as he has been by other writers. He’s just a little more rash, and his no holds barred heroics even come off kind of cool?

I mean, space shark!

Unfortunately, I think that by not following through on his setup for past Thor Aaron severely limits the potential for Gorr the God Butcher, who could have been a great new villain in an era where such creations are in short supply. Villains are almost always more effective when their point of view has a twisted (or even perfectly sensible) logic to it. If past Thor had done something actually heinous than Gorr might have a decent reason for wanting all God’s extinct. I hate to sound like too much of a backseat writer when I should be discussing what’s on the page instead of what’s not. There just seems to be a lot of missed potential here.

Gorr’s grand motivations provide the main thematic backbone of the text. He hails from a barren, perhaps post apocalyptic planet where he and his tribe struggle to survive. He loses his mother to predators, his partner dies while pregnant with one of his children, and he struggles to provide for his remaining children. All the while, his culture demands complete fealty to their pantheon. The fact that Gorr’s people often sacrifice what little resources they have as offerings to these God’s angers him, when no matter how much anyone prays the call never seems to be answered. Eventually Gorr is abandoned by his tribe for being a heretic, and just as he resigns himself to death he encounters cosmic beings locked in combat. After stealing the power of one of these beings he takes to the stars  and goes about killing Gods, convinced that they do the universe more harm than good.

It’s certainly interesting that during issue 1 the reader is introduced to present Thor in a sequence that reverses this story. On a similarly barren planet, albeit one where the resident culture is without belief God, a thirsty child prays to any God’s out there in the universe to bring rain. Thor, hearing the prayer, provides amply in an heroic act. This alien species also provides a striking resemblance to Gorr’s. 

So, two conflicting stories with conflicting morals. Gorr’s story will jive well with an atheist outlook, while Thor’s story will seem ridiculous. But Thor is a comic about God’s, and thus it’s going to be about faith, and every comic that truly works with the character is going to be directly addressing this issue and either asking the reader to believe or question. Here, Aaron seems to be asking us to believe, if not in an ultimate God, then in Thor the comic character. Thor, who even in his supposedly most flawed incarnation is heroic and fair. Thor, who answers a child’s prayer from across the universe. Thor, who will fight for Asgard until the end of time.

Gorr’s story ends when it becomes clear that, by destroying all God’s, he has become a de facto God himself. Ever in denial, the only way he can admit this obvious fact is through a family created from his powers, seemingly built from different aspects of his psyche. Aaron telegraphs Gorr’s fate as the “God of Hypocrisy” early on, and while the reveal might have been a cute twist in a 2 or 3 issue story, as the conclusion to 11 chapters of build up it feels too convenient as a way to quickly justify Gorr’s defeat.

So, rather then providing a deconstruction of the Thor character, these issues of God of Thunder seem to instead be a celebration of the character in a few of his different configurations. The fact that Aaron consistently rejects or fails to address criticisms of the character, after decades of post Watchmen comics deconstructing iconic heroes, could almost be said to be a fresh subversion in itself. And yet it can’t help but feel slight, because it’s a story missing a serious dramatic arc for its hero. I’m still excited to see what Aaron does with Thor next, but I hope he does get around to properly testing his protagonist.