#anyways this is far longer than it was intended to be and probably far worse than i wanted

[heartfullofleeches]

[Request] Reader caring for a sick Remmy [Dollmaker Yan Oc]

Warnings: None.

Words: 1.1k

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“Remmy isn't home right now…. Please come back later.”

Could this day get any worse?... Weeks, months even, building up the courage to ask you to hang out with him. It wasn't like he asked you out on a date or anything, not yet anyway. He still needed to test the water a little longer, make sure the signals he had picked up from you weren't figments of his imagination. All that time, all those embarrassing hours spent in front of the mirror practicing what to say given any outcome - flushed down the drain in one night. 

Remmy could hardly open his eyes the morning you were intended to meet. You didn't even recognize him over the phone at first. In his heightened state of delirium from the fever racking his weary mind, he hoped the same would happen as you continuously rang his doorbell - demanding in the softest voice you could manage for him to open up.

As if he could be that lucky….

“And where, pray tell, would someone hacking up a lung over the phonean hour ago be right besides the hospital? It's not that far away. I can head over right now and check.” 

….

“Open this door right now, Remiel. You're not going to flake on me twice today.”

Did you have to phrase it like that? Kicking a sick person while he could barely stand was cruel - even if you did come to check up on him. 

“O…okay…. Remmy is- I'm going to unlock the door, just…give me a minute to clean up my room. I have some stuff out I really don't want anyone to see…”

The muffled shuffling of plastic splices between the click of the lock as Remmy unlocks the front door. 

“60.”

“Crap.” 

Hobbling away from the front door, Remmy clings to the hallway walls as he makes a break for his bedroom. The straight path twists and bends as his stress levels skyrocket from the very real fear of you finding out what he had stored. There wasn't enough time for him to hide everything. His top priority were the worst offenders - items he couldn't excuse as being a result of his relatively harmless hobby. Doll clothing fashioned after clothes you'd yet to wear for the public eye. Others you never owned and probably would never wear, unless they were for a partner or to make yourself feel good. Pictures of you hung up on his walls. So much to bury in such little time. 

“They can't see that…That one either. God, they'd kill me if they saw-”

“Saw what?” 

A hoarse yelp claws its way out of Remmy's aching throat. Standing in his doorway, you balance two separate bags in your arms - awaiting his response. Remmy hurriedly pulls the corners of his blankets over the space beneath his bed. 

“I…threw up a bit ago. Guess I'm feeling worse than I thought when we spoke over the phone.” 

In the blink of an eye you're by his side. Remmy flinches as you press the back of your palm against his forehead.

“Oh, Rem….” Concern oozes from your words as you set your bags down, taking hold of his arm. You're burning up. Come on. Let's get you back in bed.”

“You don't have to go through all this for me, Y/n. Really, I'm-” His sentence falls short as you scoop him off the floor, sitting him up on his bed. Were you always this strong - or had he always been this easy to carry? In that moment, Remmy felt just like one of his dolls. His head spins at the very thought. You take the opportunity to gently ease him down against the mattress, rolling the discarded sheets up to his waist. You pick up the plastic bags, setting them on the small table in the center of his room as you rummage through them.

“Got some chicken soup from this dinner down the street. If you can't keep anything down, maybe the broth will be a good place to state. Oh!- picked up some ginger ale too. That might help with your stomach too. Cough drops, cough medicine…. Do you prefer liquid or pills?” 

Remmy turns his head away from you as he coughs into his fist. “...whichever…whichever you brought is fine.”

“Well,I actually bought both, but I can just return the other on my way home later. I'll go grab you a cup real quick.”

Heading for the door, Remmy’s meek voice calls out to you - barely about a whisper. “Y/n?”

Hand on the doorframe, you gaze over your shoulder at him. “What's up? Need something else while I'm in the kitchen?”

“No…” Remmy shakes his head, the pressure of a headache hammering at his skull. “Agh… Remmy… I just wanted to thank you…for this. You really didn't have to come over…” 

A smirk tugs at the corners of your lips. “Don't think I did this for nothing. Gotta make sure you're well enough for our date next weekend. The park is nice and all, but that's where we always go. I expect to be taken somewhere else for our first date.”

“Date?” He couldn't have heard you right. But, you said it - twice. You disappear down the hall before he can properly question you. Was this all a dream? The conjurings of his ill mind as the sickness took hold? This felt better than anything he could imagine- Your hushed voice as you reenter the room confirms it. You wiggle your arm behind his head, helping him sit back up just enough to place the cup to his lips without him choking while swallowing. A part of him wished this was a dream. One that he'd never wake up from if he had the choice. Another dream come true was waiting for him once he got better.

“Remmy?...Rem?”

Soda spills onto your hand as the weight of his head crashes upon your shoulder. Did he…. fall asleep? Just like that? You hadn't even given him his medicine yet. At least the sleep will be good for him. You should probably go put everything else you brought up to pass the time until he wakes up. 

“Mmm…”

Remmy’s face scrunches in discomfort as you part from his side, lowering his head onto the pillows as you stand. Your foot touches something soft beneath his bed. You reach a hand underneath - completely forgetting about his earlier warnings as your fingers wrap around the squishy item. A doll with instantly identifying features stares back up at you as you drag it from its prison. Funny - you don't remember wearing this shirt around Remmy. You only bought it a few days ago. You planned to wear it today before he told you the bad news.

Shrugging, you raise Remmy's arm - tucking the doll against his chest. His face melts into that of peaceful bliss, body curling around the doll as his other hand strokes its face as if on auto-pilot. You press a kiss to his forehead - shutting off the lights in his room as you depart for a second time.

[arctrooper69]

hiii! i just found your hurt/comfort dialog prompt list you had tagged and i'm such a sucker for that kind of stuff. could you please do prompt 34. "you're covered in blood, need to tell me something?" with wolffe? maybe even a little bit of prompts 20 and 35 from the the hurt/comfort sprinkled in there too? i absolutely adore your work and your such a fantastic writer, i look forward to everytime you post, and you do such a beautiful job on your writing that i can't wait to read this once it is done (if you decided to do it) . feel free to change it how you want, and thank you for taking time out of busy day to read this. love you <333

Hey! I'm so glad you've been enjoying my work! Sorry it took me awhile to get this out to you. I had so many ideas for it but I couldn't decide what I wanted to do. Hope you enjoy it! 😁

Prompt# 20: "How long did you think that you could hide that?"

Prompt# 34: "You're covered in blood, need to tell me anything?"

Prompt# 35: "It's just a headache, I'm fine."

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Love is a Battlefield

The new General doesn't want to ask for help. Commander Wolffe does so anyway.

Warnings: Blood. Angst. Battlefield scenes. Hurt/Comfort.

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"Okay, today officially sucks." You grumbled under your breath, cursing whatever cosmic Force led you to be in your current state. Groaning you dragged yourself back over the ledge and collapsed in the mud. Everything hurt. Your clothes were stiff with dried and drying blood and at this point, you weren't sure if it belonged to you or to those damn splox who's nest you'd fallen into. Probably both.

Ok, now to find the rest of the company. You were sure that you hadn't strayed too far from the battlefield when you'd been drug off by battle droids and thrown from a cliff in the resulting fight. But hey, at least you took them down with you. You thought, cracking a smile. Master Plo would've been proud. On the other hand, you frowned, you had gotten separated from everyone else - so maybe not so much.

You drew a sharp breath between your teeth. A burning, grating feeling radiated from your side as you stepped over a rock and nearly fell to the ground. You paused for a moment to let your tunneling vision focus again, fighting back the urge to throw up. Maybe some of the blood was actually yours. The trek back to camp was going to take much longer than you expected.

Good. Maybe that would give you time to mull over the conversation you'd had yesterday morning with the commander of you battalion.

You were sure it was the reason that Commander Wolffe was ignoring you earlier today.

***

You'd chosen to continue on with the battalion after Master Plo had received an urgent message from the Council, recalling him from the field. Wolffe disagreed.

"You're injured!" He snapped, more forcefully than intended.

You sighed rolling your eyes. "It's just a headache. I'm fine. You know I've had worse, Commander." It was more than a headache, probably a concussion due to the nausea and dizziness that currently plagued you. But he didn't need to know that.

Wolffe pinched the bridge of his nose.

"General, I saw that spider droid fling you halfway across the battlefield. Can you at least go to medical to get checked out? I need you-" He froze, then coughed quickly, trying to pass off his slip-up as though he'd been interrupted mid sentence. "We. We need you. Your men need you at your best, general."

He coughed again and quickly left the room, leaving you frozen in place.

***

Did he really say that? You replayed his words in your head over and over again.

"I need you."

You couldn't deny that it had shaken you. You couldn't deny that it had hit you in such a way that made your whole body tingle and flood with warmth. As much as you tried to suppress it and convince yourself it was nothing, you had found yourself staring at the Commander a lot recently. The way he confidently carried himself, the subtle spark in his eye, the way he cared for his men even though he hid it behind that abrasive and sarcastic front - it was all so perfect. So attractive. So him.

No, he couldn't have meant it like that. You were his superior and even more importantly, you were a Jedi. No attachment allowed. He definitely couldn't have meant it like that. It was simply a slip of the tongue. He felt nothing for you and you felt nothing for him. You told yourself that your infatuation wasn't real. Commander Wolffe was a good solider and your fondness for him was simply a professional sense of pride. That's all.

Distant voices interrupted your brooding. Several clone troopers were searching high and low, calling out for someone but you didn't quite catch the name.

"Who are we looking for?" You walked up to the trooper closest to you. His shiny white armor was streaked with mud and ash - one of the new guys. Splash, they'd christened him on account of the puddle of mud he'd landed in immediately after jumping from the gunship into the field. It was hard to believe you'd only been here for three days. It felt like three years.

"We're looking for the General!" He explained hurriedly, hardly giving you a side glance.

Your heart dropped. Surely not Master Plo. Had he not left for Coruscant after all? Your hero and former master had seemed invincible ever since he'd chosen you to be his Padawan.

"General Plo Koon?" You asked hesitantly.

Splashed grunted as he stepped over a log. "No, the other one."

A wave of relief washed over you. You could've laughed out loud if your head wasn't so cloudy. Your side screamed with every step. You took a shallow breath, trying to ground yourself.

I am one with the force and the force is with me. I am one with the force and the force is with me.

Supplementing with the force wouldnt last long and it was draining, but it was better than the agony you'd been in. You took a deep breath, allowing the pain to become a whisper and looked back up at the clone.

"Well you found her!" You joked.

"What?" He stood up looking confused. Then he looked over at you.

Splash straightened up upon realizing that he had indeed found the General. He was glad he was wearing his bucket because he could feel his face turning red with embarrassment. He scrambled stiffly to attention. "Uhm, sorry Sir. I mean Ma'am. Uh, General." He stuttered, trying to compose himself. You chuckled, wincing as the movement pulled at your wounded side. Splash looked alarmed as if he'd just realized that his General was covered in blood. "Are you injured, Ma'am?"

You grit your teeth to hide the pain. "No, I'm fine, thank you. I believe it all belongs to the splox that I killed. Fell into a nest of em."

He looked at you, unsure if you were being serious or not, trying to recall if the regulation manuals told him what to do in a situation like this.

"We should probably make our way to medical, all the same." He concluded. "Just to be safe. Get you checked out and all." He offered his arm.

You shook your head. "No that's alright. They're much too busy right now, seeing as the battle has just ended."

"Well I'm sure..."

You put a hand up to stop him. "It's fine, Splash. I can take care of myself. Let's worry about making our way back to camp."

"Of course, General."

***

You made your way back to camp and bid Splash a farewell. Exhausted, you yawned and slowly made your way back to your tent, passing the Commander's tent on your way there.

"General!" Commander Wolffe sprang to his feet the moment he saw you. "Are you alright, ma'am?"

His eyebrows knit tightly together with a frown. If you didn't know better, you almost thought he looked concerned. Worried even. But that would be stupid. You were reading too much into it. He was simply a solider looking out for the welfare of his commanding officer. That's it. Nothing more.

"I'm good!" You grinned, hoping he didn't notice the way your teeth ground against the pain in your head and now your side.

Wolffe's face became unreadable.

"Just good!?" He growled. "General, you are covered in blood. 'Good' does not even begin to cover it. Do you need to tell me something?"

Yes. I think I'm in love with you.

"No not really." You nonchantly shrugged. "It's not mine. Fell into a nest of those giant splox beetles and had to take em out before they ate me. You know how it is."

Wolffe rolled his eyes. He didn't believe you, but what could he do? He wasn't your superior, he couldn't order you to tell him. He made a note to ask Cody and Rex to let him into the clones-with-stubborn-generals club. He could sure use some advice.

"Could you be anymore bull-headed?" he wanted to yell at you as you left the room, interpreting his silence as the end of that conversation.

Wolffe groaned in frustration. Why did he care so much? Why did the thought of you being wounded send waves of terror cascading through his core. You were acting strange, subtly walking as though every step sent agony shooting through your body thinking nobody would notice. He noticed. He wanted to pick you up in his arms and bandage your wounds. He wanted to softly kiss each scar on your skin.

You were a good leader. He understood wanting to be tough, wanting to be strong for the soldiers under your command. If he was honest with himself, he did the same.

You trudged wearily back to your tent, ignoring the pain that was slowly returning to full force with a vengeance as though it was angry at being willed into submission.

You made it a point to avoid medical. The dwindling amount of medical supplies worried you. It was only a matter of time before they would run out if they weren't sent relief. The chief medical officer had drastically downplayed the dire straits the company was in when you asked him. You'd seen the inventory. It was scarce. It wouldn't be right, going to medical right now. Not when you could most likely patch yourself up with the small medkit by your bunk. The clones made up the backbone of the GAR, it was only right that they take priority over you.

***

It was a miracle of the Force that you hadn't passed out by the time you reached the tent. Biting your lip to keep you from making too much noise, you peeled off your shirt to assess the damage, grabbing a towel from the shelf.

You bit back a pained moan and your vision swam as you gripped the edge of your cot to steady yourself. A large gash curled around the side of your chest from the bottom of your breast to your hip. The torn skin bled heavily, quickly turning the towel a crimson red.

This was...not good.

The com chirped, making you jump. You felt dazed and exhausted. Closing your eyes, you took a deep breath before answering the com. Sergeant Sinker's brisk voice echoed from the device.

"General, the clankers are moving in from the North. They've engaged the front and the 501st is calling for aid. What are your orders?"

Your men needed you. Who were you to ignore them? What kind of leader would you be if you sent them off while you stayed behind. "A good leader leads by example" Master Plo always said. You were tired of the animalistic way the clones were treated - as if they were only droids or worse. You would be there for your men, fighting right up front beside them. Right beside Commander Wolffe.

You lit up the com. "Proceed with the request, Sergeant. I'll be there shortly."

You looked at the medkit. Well, so much for that. You quickly taped up the wound and slapped some bacta treated gauze on it. Then you quickly changed your clothes, willing yourself to ignore the nauseating pain. You steadied yourself with a hand on the wall before wiping the cold sweat from your clammy skin. You tried to breathe, once more closing your eyes in meditation once again squashing down the pain. The show must go on. The General must lead her men into battle.

***

General Skywalker was right to call for aid. The Separatist forces were throwing everything they had at you. You jumped over the guns of a tank, slicing through the controls to disable it. Droid after droid came at you from all sides and you cut them down. If only the Commander could see you now in all your glory.

An explosion knocked you off your feet, wrenching you from your stupor. Pain surged through your body as you pushed yourself to your feet. The continuous onslaught of enemy forces wasn't so fun now. You began to realize just how tired you were. Trying to catch your breath felt as futile as swimming in honey. Your mind felt sluggish and your arms felt like lead. A B2 took aim and fired. You saw him fire and raised your saber to block but it was a fraction of a second too slow and the blast hit your shoulder. Kriff. You hit the ground hard, letting the awful, searing pain wash over you. You wanted to close your eyes. You wished you could just rest. Just for a moment.

Your eyes flew back open. No. The men need you. Get up. Shakily you forced yourself to your knees and onto your feet. One more time. You knew this was abusing the force but it was for an honorable reason. Right?

I am one with the force and the force is with me. I am one with the force and the force is with me. Pain is temporary. Accept it simply as a signal sent by the body. Accept the pain. Respect it. Don't fight it. Ask your body to begin to heal.

You let out a feral scream, pouring every last ounce of energy and willpower into your prayers, knocking back an entire wave of droids. And then you felt nothing.

***

My head. The first thing you noticed upon regaining consciousness was the skull splitting headache that you could almost feel radiating down your entire body. It felt as though someone was spearing red hot needles through your eyeballs, twisting them through the many sections of your brain. The pain made you nauseous.

An agonized wheeze drifted from your lips as you tried to raise your hands to cup your face. When did my arms get so heavy? Pain shot through your side and shoulder as you tried to move. Panic gripped you when you couldn't.

"Ah kriff," a gruff voice cursed. "Hey! General. General, it's okay. Calm down. You're safe." You'd know that voice anywhere - it was the only clear thing that cut through the haze of pain. Commander Wolffe.

He barked a command at someone and after a few minutes the pain had loosened it's claws. It wasn't much but it was better than before.

"What do you need, General? Are you still in pain?"

"Lights," you managed to groan. Even that took too much energy and you desperately hoped that you wouldn't be sick in front of the Commander.

Wolffe immediately jumped from his chair, quickly shutting off the lights. That helped some, but not much. It still felt like your head was being lobotomized by a pickaxe. Your side and shoulder felt like they'd been broken off and trampled by a bantha. A bantha that was on fire maybe.

"You are so kriffing stubborn, you know that!?" Wolffe growled. Seeing you wince, he lowered his volume but continued with the hard and bitter tone.

"How long did you think you could hide that!? Hmm?" He motioned to your side.

"You almost died yesterday." He said, softening his voice ever so slightly.

Wolffe looked tired. His eyes were sunken and even his cybernetic one had a dark shadow beneath it. He looked like he hadn't shaved or showered since the battle. His grey armor was still scuffed up with dirt and grime. A small bacta patch adorned his right eyebrow.

You looked away, shame burning at the corners your eyes, adding to the overwhelming pressure in your head. You failed him and now he hated you. You turned your head away from him wincing at the pain but you couldn't bear to have him see the tears that rolled down your cheeks.

"Look at me." A command. He didn't have the authority to give you a command, but you felt compelled to comply all the same. Hastily wiping your eyes in a futile attempt at seeming alright, you turned towards him. Your breath caught as he wrapped his hand around your wrist, pulling it from your face.

"Stop kriffing pretending that you're okay." Still a command, but this one felt softer. His voice still held the rough, bitter edge that defined him so well but as you met his eyes, they held an uncertain gaze of vulnerability.

"Your men need you alive. They care about you, General." He paused, pacing back and forth in the dark room. He came to a stand still by the foot of your bed, refusing to meet your gaze, as though he had something he wanted to say. Finally he took a deep breath and slowly let it out.

"Oh kriff it." He snapped. "I care about you, damnit!" He shook his head and began to pace again, the anger returning to his visage.

"General Plo said you could've died." He spat. "He said that you had spread yourself so thin, used up so much energy that you could've killed yourself. Do you..." He cut himself off and took another breath, clenching his fists tightly. "Do you know what that would've done to this company. Do you know what that would've done to me!?"

There was fire in his eyes when he looked back up at you. "It would've killed me too."

You lay there in your bed staring at him - shocked at this outburst. What was he saying? That he cared for you? That he loved you? That he thought about you as much as you thought about him?

"I.." you began softly.

"No. I'm not done."

You shut your mouth.

"General, when you came back to camp covered in blood, I had to restrain myself from throwing you over my shoulder and taking you to medical myself. I knew something was wrong but I trusted that you knew what you were doing. It was the same when I saw you collapse yesterday. It took everything in me not to race to your side."

He shook his head, disappointed in himself, and angry with you. "I should be holding the line with my men, not babysitting my General!"

You stared blankly ahead, letting his anger wash over you. So that's how he saw you. That solves one problem, you tried to convince yourself. It was good that he didn't reciprocate your feelings. That made it easier to cleanse yourself of any feeling of attachment. But then why didn't hurt so bad? Why did it feel like a part of your soul had been sawed away? Wasn't letting go of your emotions supposed to bring you peace? This crushing weight of disappointment and heartbreak was anything but peace.

The room was quiet save for the beeps and whirs of the medical equipment around you. The silence felt deafening. Then finally Wolffe let out a sigh.

"I'm....sorry..." The words dragged themselves reluctantly from his mouth.

You didn't respond.

The bed buckled slightly as Wolffe sat down on the edge. He tentatively rested a hand gently on your back, expecting you to recoil or stiffen under his touch. His eyebrows shot up in surprise as you leaned into his touch instead.

He sighed, rolling his neck. "Look," he began awkwardly. "I'm not good at this kind of thing so I'm just going to be honest with you. I..." He stopped. You turned your face towards his. He took a breathe, not daring to make eye contact. "I think I'm in love with you. Kriff. No, I know I'm in love with you."

You gasped, the dam broke and tears began to stream down your face.

Wolffe jumped up, startled and clearly embarrassed. "I...I mean... I... I didn't mean..." The normally confident Commander stumbled over his words in a shameful horror.

"No," you sobbed. You felt so relieved. Everything felt right again. "You didn't do anything wrong." He looked down at you, eybrows knitted upwards in confusion. "Then why..." He motioned to your tearful face.

"Because I love you too and I was afraid that you hated me. I was afraid that everyone would see me as a terrible General. And also my everything hurts and..." you sobbed, "...and I love you so much."

Wolffe looked down at you with amusement and a strange softness took hold of his features - a foreign look for his usually serious demeanor.

"You look nice when you smile," you whispered with a small grin. "But you can go back to frowning if that's more comfortable for you."

Wolffe rolled his eyes as he settled down in a chair beside your bed. "You should get some sleep, General." Back to his serious old self again but he kept that twinkle in his eye. Only for you. he thought.

"I'll be right here when you wake up."

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[annabethy]

"i won't tell a soul"

There are a lot of things Annabeth had never imagined about her life. 

For starters, she’d never imagined herself making it this far. Twenty years isn’t all that much in the grand scheme of things, but it feels a lifetime away from when she was seven years old, wondering if it would ever get better. Somehow, she’s far from the little girl running from monsters with her tiny fingers wrapped around a hammer. It’s entirely different having the warmth of a home and people to come home to.

She’d also never imagined herself here, lying in the arms of someone who’d walk through hell with a smile if it meant keeping her safe. 

It’s a nice change, she thinks, watching Percy’s rhythmic breathing. It’s dark in the living room, the only light sprinkling in through the icy windows, but it’s just enough for her to make out the shape of him, to analyze the rise and fall of his chest every few seconds and just feel relief that he, too, had made it this far. Annabeth had spent far too many years terrified that each breath she watched him take would be his last. 

Like the snow to the ground, those worries fade away.

Annabeth would drift to sleep, but she finds that she doesn’t want to quite yet, so she watches him some more. They hadn’t intended to fall asleep on his mother’s living room couch, but it turns out watching movies all night is easier said than done when you’re two demigods battling something far more exhausting than monsters: college. She knew he was exhausted that day anyway, and he probably would’ve gone to bed earlier to begin with if it weren’t for her begging for a movie night.

He’s not usually the first to sleep, but she’s not complaining. She’s warm in his arms, cheek pressed to his chest, and she can’t really move without risking waking him up, but there are worse places to be and worse battles to fight. She should know. She’d been running from them longer than she can remember. Until now, anyway. Annabeth hopes it can always be like this, snowy nights in his mom’s apartment. She knows it won’t always be, but maybe that’s okay too. They get to really live now, without fear that each kiss is their last. They get the chance to grow up and have these nights in their own apartment. She imagines there will be marriage, and eventually, a few kids. Sons and daughters.

The thought is bittersweet. As much as she wants that, she doesn’t want to give this up.

For a while longer, she doesn’t have to.

She shifts in closer to Percy, digging her nose into the soft fabric of his sweater, and she just exists. She exists until the world around her fades, until the arms around her back tighten and she feels safer than she ever has. Until she thinks she might drift to sleep, if it weren’t for the warm lips pressing to the curve of her ear, and the sleepy voice that asks, “Are you okay?”

Annabeth smiles softly and lifts her face to catch the eyes that stare back at her. “Sorry. Did I wake you?”

Percy stretches languidly, but he keeps her gathered close. “Only a little.”

She giggles softly at the nonsensical answer, resuming her place against his chest when he’s done shifting around. It’s the little things she notices, like his index finger tracing shapes into her back beneath her gray crewneck stolen from his closet, light as the feeling flowing through her. It’s the big things she notices too, like the way he moves his hand away from that spot to lift her chin away from his chest so he can give her a proper kiss or two, and one on the nose for good measure.

“We can head to my room,” he suggests quietly, voice still laced with sleep. “You don’t look very comfortable.”

“I’m fine,” she assures. “Go back to sleep.”

“And miss out on your pretty face?”

“You had no qualms five minutes ago.”

“And I feel awful about it, really.” Percy gives her another sweet kiss. She rolls her eyes, but she’s still smiling. “Have you been up long?”

“A bit,” she answers vaguely.

“And you didn’t wake me up? Was I not invited?”

“Your lack of sleep is making you delirious,” she tells him. “Go back to sleep, Percy.”

“What are you gonna do?”

“Stare at your pretty face,” she mocks.

Percy gasps, and though she can’t see him, she imagines him shooting her an insulted look when he pinches her side.

“It was a compliment!”

“It was not and you know it.” His hand rubs over the spot he’d pinch in apology, not that it had really hurt in the first place. “Seriously, let’s go to bed. I feel bad keeping you up.”

“You’re not keeping me up,” she promises. “I’m just thinking.”

“Thinking?” She can hear the grin in his voice. “What about?”

“Wouldn’t you like to know?”

“Tell me.”

“No.”

“Well, now you’ve got me on the edge of my seat. I won’t be able to sleep until you tell me.”

“You make a good point,” Annabeth kisses his jaw. “But no.”

“You prick.”

“You love me.”

“I really do,” he laughs. “A shame. I could have anyone I want if I so much as look at them–”

“Sure you can, buddy.”

“But I don’t because you love me too.”

“Who said that?”

“Do you not?”

“I don’t not, but I also didn’t say that,” she points out, snickering. “You’re making assumptions here.”

“Okay, aside from the million times you’ve said it before, yeah, I made some assumptions there.” Percy grabs her face and brings her close. Now, she can see the playful twinkle in his eye, and she can feel the breath that hits her lips with each shallow inhale. “But you do, right?”

Annabeth just laughs in his face. “I have a secret.”

And Percy seems to know where this is going. He squeezes her cheeks twice before letting go. “Please tell me your secret. I’ll die without knowing this secret of which I have no idea what it could possibly be.”

“It’s really embarrassing. You have to promise not to tell anyone.”

“I will not promise that. Now, tell me.”

“It could destroy my life, Percy. Promise me.”

Percy’s laughing now, and she is too. Their voices are hushed because his mom and sister are a few doors down, and the last thing she’d want to do is risk waking them up. She’d feel guilty if they did, but it would also disturb this carefully balanced peace that is far and few between on nights like these.

His nose nudges hers. “I promise.”

“I love you too.”

It would’ve always come to this. They’ve made it this far. They’ve made it past the worst.

“You can trust me,” he says, pulling her closer. “I won’t tell a soul.”

[luniidae]

~ Of Gold and Blood ~

~ The Encounter ~

Chapter I

Note: Hi everyone! I recently started to rewrite some chapters of my fic to improve it with new scenes, lore, and new illustrations... There will be details which won't respect the DnD universe, just so you know. Anyways, I hope you'll enjoy it!

Please keep in mind that English isn't my native language, thanks! 🖤

You can now read it on AO3 ✨

            What could be said is that Luvia didn't have an ordinary childhood, but actually, she didn't really have the time to have one. The little girl was only 6 years old when she crossed paths with a certain warlock, Korilla Hearthflame. 

This encounter would change the course of her life, but no one could say yet if this was for the better or the worse...

           Korrilla was on a mission for her devilish boss, Raphael, when she stopped at the Sunken Flagon of Neverwinter. The air was fresh but not cold, and the uproar of clinking mugs and the cheerful exclamations could be heard from the outside. 

She didn't intend to stay for the night though, since the boss's business doesn't wait. She still took the time to relax a bit with some refreshment before hitting the road again. It had been a long day after all, and it wasn't over yet. She was on her way to collect a particularly ancient and rare book for her master. It belonged to a wizard who was so desperate to possess the absolute knowledge he was ready to part with his most precious possession.... And his soul. His delicious, power hungry, soul. 

              A simple and pretty common request from a mortal of his kind, the usual routine. As promised, he knew everything.... And anything. From the most useful information to the most insignificant one, and it appeared to be far less entertaining than he expected. Researches were an important and stimulating part of any wizard's life, but what is the point of searching when you know everything already? Beside the incredible boredom of his new life, he didn't certainly expect his brain to be too "small" for such an amount of knowledge. The flow of the thoughts in his mind was so intense and unstoppable that the poor man eventually went mad and threw himself from the window of his tower. What a pity.

              A few uninteresting chats and a pint later, it was time for our golden dwarf to get back to her work. However, as she left the inn, she suddenly felt like she was being watched. She scanned the surroundings and caught the sight of two red points in the darkness of a rooftop, facing the establishment. 

             There it was, a tiny silhouette sitting near an open window that probably overlooked its bedroom. It didn't move an inch and silently observed the passers-by from the shadows. Its eyes, like two rubies glowing in the night, were locked on her.

Korrilla thought it was a vampire at first, but the spark in its gaze seemed.... Different. Anyway, she decided to keep an eye on the little creature, just in case it would have been stupid enough to see the warlock as a prey. 

             The dwarf took to the road again, the wizard's tower was no longer far from here and she could reach it on foot in less than an hour or so. A soft breeze was caressing her face while she was walking, and the smell of the night air was invigorating, helping her to clear her mind after the beer she drank earlier. It was nice sometimes not to use a portal, she thought. 

But she remained on her guard, because she knew she was being followed, and she knew by who, or what. Korrilla wondered what interest she could have aroused. Did the creature want her gold? Her blood? Or was it simple curiosity? That's what she would find out soon...

                As she was approaching her destination, she felt a presence in her back, but nothing like what she perceived earlier in the shadows. This time, there were really someone behind her. The warlock didn't give her little spy the time to do or say anything since she suddenly turned on her heels to face them, ready to vanish in a mist if necessary. It was a girl and she didn't fight back when the young woman grabbed her forearm firmly. She instinctively curved her back like a frightened kitten, and the grip of her tiny hand on Korilla's as she was trying to remove it was weak and ridiculous. The creature seemed harmless and miserable, but Korilla was now able to take a closer look at her. She had long and dark brown hair, a bit messy, she had pointy ears and two little horns. Her eyes were a deep red tone and her skin was pale.... But not pale enough to be a vampire. Moreover, it seemed like she had no pointy teeth either. 

"Hmf, nice try, little Tiefling", the young woman said, a smug look on her face. But she interrupted herself as she observed the girl. She didn't look exactly like a tiefling despite her appearance. She had no tail and none of those sharp traits. Actually, she looked more like an elf with horns and vampire eyes. 

               What a strange mix... She thought, but her attention was caught by something else. The little girl had a few bruises on her, not big ones, but still... Korrilla got lost in her thoughts for a second. Those bluish marks on a so young skin reminded her of her life before she moved to the House of Hope with her sister. 

               Her previous master had no consideration for her, giving her nothing but crumbs to eat.... Well, when she could. Being at the service of a devil might have seemed problematic for some, but at least, Raphael treated her well. Korilla came back to her sense and looked at the horned creature in the eyes.

"What do you want?", she asked.

She paused for a few seconds, her gaze locked on the child's face and more specifically, those scarlet eyes. There was something strange about her... But she couldn't really explain it or tell if it was in a good or a bad way. The young girl's lips parted.

"I......", she started to whisper without finishing her sentence. She didn't really look scared, but surprised and lost, as if she herself didn't know why she's been following her from the tavern. 

"You should get back home, kid, the streets aren't safe at night", the dwarf added. 

At those words, a slight change occured in the child's gaze. She suddenly looked reluctant and tried to take a step backward in an attempt to break free from Korilla's grip.

"Ouch !", the girl exclaimed. 

She looked down at her feet, and so does the warlock. She had stepped in a few pieces of broken glass, and the poor fabric of her shoes was too thin to prevent the sharp object to pierce the flesh.     

           She stood on her other foot, making little jumps while she was removing the glass pieces. Korrilla released her grip on her, allowing her to run away when something caught her eyes again... A few little and red swirls of magic appeared when she accidentally cut herself. It was very weak, but it came from her wounded foot. She raised an eyebrow and was about to call after her, but she eventually did nothing. She looked at her go in the dark streets, noticing two little red point looking back at her from time to time as the creature moved away quickly. That was magic trace, not blood, or not entirely, she was sure of this. But she couldn't afford to waste any more time and she kept heading to the tower as planned. 

             Once Korrilla collected the precious book she came for, she opened a portal to the House of Hope. It was good to be back home, but she couldn't help but think of her last encounter. Where did the girl go? Did she go back home? Why did she look suddenly so concerned when the warlock told her to do so? To this last question, she could easily guess the answer. The bruises she had seen on the creature's arms weren't due to some too enthusiastic child plays. But she quickly chased the thought out of her mind and headed to Raphael's office. 

              The door was open but she knocked at it nonetheless. Her boss was focused on some paperwork at his desk, he spoke without looking up.

"There you are, Korrilla. I hope my ambitious yet tragic client has not been to reluctant to honor his part of the deal". The cambion chuckled, amused by his own joke.

He knew the wizard wouldn't handle such power, so much knowledge was simply too much for a pathetic being like him. The cambion haven't even bothered himself to take the book right away when he made him sign the contract. 

"Oh do not worry, I'll come back in a few days to take my due, and you'll tell me everything about this new and fascinating life of yours. I can't wait...", he had said to him. 

Korrilla smirked as she took a few steps forward, "Oh he was delighted to part with it", she answered. She put the packaged object on the desk.

"I suppose you have faced no difficulties there", the devil said, taking the book to remove delicately the fabric it was wrapped into.

"Not at all. I just have been slowed by... A curious little thing...", the dwarf answered.

"Is that so...?"

"Oh nothing important really, just a strange kid who's been following me all the way to the tower"

Raphael raised an eyebrow, "You've been slowed.... By a child.... ?"

Korrilla caught a mix of disbelief and exasperation in her boss's eyes, as he was trying to understand how such an insignificant nuisance could have been important enough for her to mention it. 

"Well, this kid didn't look like an ordinary one after all", she quickly added as if she was trying to make it look like a good excuse, "And her blood smelled like pure magic"

The devil slightly frowned.

".... Magic?", he said with a sceptical tone. For a second or so, he almost seemed to stare at her in order to check if she was drunk or something. 

"Yes"

The mention of the girl was a bit weird already, but this particular detail managed to catch his attention though.

"Did you kill her to know such a thing?"

"No, she cut herself actually", she answered with a hint of exasperation in her voice, "I thought she was a vampire Tiefling"

"But she was not... ?"

"No and I had a weird feeling about her when she looked at me", she admitted.

"My my, it seems that she made quite an impression on you", Raphael noticed, "How was she ?"

Surprisingly, Raphael really looked curious about it. His warlock didn't used to waste her time with minor details, so it was quite intriguing to see her react this way and he wanted to know why. 

            The dwarf made him a detailed description of the child, talking about her non-tiefling features, the absence of tail, her pointy ears, and those particular red eyes. The cambion looked very serious as he listened to her, as if he was thinking about something at the same time, taking mental notes of her words. 

"Hm...", he seemed lost in his thoughts for a few seconds, "Keep an eye on her", he simply said, his chin resting on one of his fists. 

The young woman looked a bit confused. This horned little creature was strange for sure, but did it worth it to watch over her?

Nonetheless, she nodded, "Alright, consider it done"

"Good", Raphael made a gesture to indicate her to leave him alone, and so she did. 

He didn't say anything but the description Korilla gave to him reminded him of something. Something deep and ancient.... And certainly useful if his suspicion happened to be true. But he needed to make some research first. 

             When he was done with his current matters, he headed to his library looking for some specific books. He had an idea of the nature of the child, he suspected her to be a Dracanist, even if it seemed pretty unlikely. But the reaction of the blood and the uncomfortable aura were two fundamental elements to him, the only details which made him doubt and think there might be something interesting to find out.

             The Dracanists were an ancient race, extinguished for centuries. Or at least, they were supposed to be. This people was known for their regenerative faculties and their unique and particular use of blood magic. Raphael remembered having seen some of them in his young years... They could have been easily mistaken with Tieflings or devils, but unlike them, they had no tail (and no wings). A simple yet important detail when you wanted to make the difference between them, but most of the mortals wouldn't pay attention to it. 

           Apart from that, they all had pointy ears, as long as high-elf's, and characteristic scarlet eyes which could be seen in the dark. Not very discreet, he thought, but probably terrifying for whoever happened to cross paths with them in the middle of the night. And they had horns.... Very special horns. There were so little information about these that no one actually know how it worked exactly, but those horns were the source of their regenerative power. They used to be cut sometimes, but only a very short amount of it, to be used in some healing processes. There were a very few known cases of people cured thanks to a Dracanist horn, and the effects on average creatures such humans were apparently incredible. 

              But it wasn't even the most interesting part. Their power was great, impressive, dangerous.... But there was also a reason for them to be called "Dracanists". They were apparently related to dragons, but nothing to do with dragonborns or something. All the Dracanists were capable of turning themselves into blood dragons. Creatures so fierce that the Githyanki's red dragons themselves almost feared them. They didn't breathe fire, but something like bloody putrid waves, devastating and painful, making instantly rot anything in their wake.

              A slight grin appeared on Raphael's face. If the girl Korilla met was really such a being, and this young, it could be interesting to keep her close. He was a very ambitious devil after all and, one day, he would take over the nine hells, he was sure of that. But it required a meticulous and very well prepared plan... And some specific artefacts. He didn't have all of the necessary elements yet, but he could keep the pretended Dracanist near him, manipulate and shape her just like he would like to so he could

use her powers in due time. In the meantime, he would eventually pay her a visit soon...

To be continued...

Bonus: Chapter 1's first version illustration

[fateinthestars]

We all know Huedhaut's storyline right? No? Well go read that first before continuing with this post.

Okay, now then, I'll probably cover later just how helpful he is in certain character's Promise of Infinity routes but I thought it might be interesting to look back at the very start of the other 11 Zodiac Gods routes and talk about his initial reactions to which God MC chooses.

Spoilers under cut

Let's start with the other 5 first prologue gods:

LEON

Okay that's Hue's distressed face (that he doesn't appear to be fake-using for once). And considering how wide his eyes are when Leon claims he's worked out what he needs to do... yeah Hue doesn't like that MC has picked Leon at all. Sure later when the others get back to the mansion he's being snarky whilst explaining what exactly is going on, but I'm pretty sure he's the one who pushes MC through the door to her apartment after saying she'd been there long enough today. He was looking for an opening to get her away from Leon without angering Leon like Teorus, Ichthys and Scorpio were doing.

TEORUS

Hue doesn't say much at all at the start of this one aside from lamenting how Teorus must have got lost somewhere again. Maybe he's relieved MC didn't pick Leo? I get the impression from other routes that Hue knows how to handle Teo and they are shift partners after all.

I came back to this one after realising how far in you have to go in the second prologue gods routes to get interaction from Hue and I'd forgotten just how much he does here - not only telling MC about Teo's father but there's also this exchange:

I almost feel like Hue is deliberately trying to push them together to try and make Teo less of a mess. I mean Teo is Hue's working partner and it's also stated that Hue and Leon have known him a long time - it feels like they're rather close to him.

ICHTHYS

Just... 😂😂😂😂

Hue seems pretty bemused here that she picked Ichthys of all the gods. Almost to the extent of which I'm wondering whether he's thinking 'this is totally the type of trouble your previous incarnation would have got into' (It's also even worse if you pick the speechless option and after Teo lays into Hue for that comment reacts with 'it's all I could think of to say' and even that she would have found out anyway lol).

Also the chaos in this bit... only Hue is sensible enough to realise that MC doesn't need to be literally picked up for them to access their powers. (Leon's standing back but the others, sheesh).

DUI

Hmm... well Hue seems to be saying this to make sure the others don't kick up a fuss and aside from this he is mostly in explanation mode here, but it feels rather reluctant as though he doesn't want to accept it. Which considering the truth behind Dui's actions aren't known yet make sense. I will say without knowing how Huedhaut reacts in Sweet & Spicy (warning MC off Dui as 'probably the most dangerous of us here' ) I'm not sure I would have read the above screenshot so negatively.

And then of course there's this a bit later:

Yeah Hue is clearly VERY concerned, at least this early on in Dui's route when no one knows the truth.

SCORPIO

Whilst Hue seems rather frustrated/upset at Scorpio's insulting tone and how rough he is being, when they get back to the mansion Hue actually seems to be the one who tries to calm the bickering between the two departments down initially.

That said, whilst Hue clearly gets annoyed with how Scorpio talks to MC, here he's one of the ones joining in with trying to keep MC at the mansion, which is the opposite to Leon and even his own route.

Okay then, how about the second prologue gods? This is a bit harder as Hue isn't actually in the room when MC picks who she wants to guard her, but perhaps I can extrapolate a little from his first interaction with them during the routes. (This is also probably partly why this post took way longer than I was intending it to 😅 )

KARNO

Warning! Major spoiler!

Both Tauxolouve and Huedhaut seem rather resigned here that Karno was obviously going to get his way over taking this somewhat ill-advised trip, but Hue's main interaction here isn't so much about her and Karno going away together like this, but more he clearly suspects that Karno doesn't have the right mindset to destroy the servants of the underrealm no matter what - and it turns out he's right on that.

That said, now I'm wondering which gods would have carried out the king's orders and destroyed Crow and Sevillah here even though it would have also meant killing Hiyori - or which others would also have listened to MC and ignored their mission in order to save her friend. 🤔 That might be a topic for another time. (Although my immediate thought here is if the first prologue gods had stories for this part Teorus would have saved Hiyori - though we'd have had a problem if it was a male co-worker of MC's that was in danger. 🤦‍♀️)

Also, there's this:

MC thinks Hue is making fun of her, but I'm not so sure. And for Hue's teasing to come to the fore like this he must be pretty happy at this point.

And one final aside with Karno: I didn't want to get into the Promise of Infinity stuff just yet but from what I recall, Hue was the one trying his hardest to smooth things over with Leon.

TAUXOLOUVE

Lou's main story doesn't have much interaction with the others at all and what is there is 1) towards the end and 2) mostly to do with the current danger at that time. Hue's words here aren't anything to do with them, or how things are fairing, but more to do with what the others are dealing with. He's barely in this part.

Which considering the distance Lou puts between himself and others does somewhat make sense even if there had been more interaction - though I'm somewhat interested that when Lou is really injured Aigo is the only one who voices concern.

So let's go to Lou's bonus story:

Yup a cutting witty remark about Lou's previous habits but Hue does seem happy for them - he certainly doesn't seem to mind how hard MC is finding it not to let her emotions show on her face.

AIGONORUS

Whilst Huedhaut seems rather exasperated that Aigo doesn't even seem to know why they've all appeared rather in a panic, his reaction to Aigo's 'excuse' is interesting. He's clearly realised that it's an excuse (I think Karno did too) but this response seems to imply he's also got an inkling as to why.

Quite frankly, judging by how Aigo's Promise of Infinity goes, I could possibly argue that if Hue isn't with MC, Aigo is the other he's happiest to let her be with. But I said I'd cover that later didn't I? Sorry. ��

Also, as an aside: In the prologue where Aigo is being typical falling asleep Aigo - even though it was Karno who was introducing the gods to MC, it's Hue who leaps in to introduce MC to him. 🤔

ZYGLAVIS

Hmm... like Lou's story, Hue isn't in this one until really late. But I do note when Zig says he wants to step down from guarding, Hue isn't trying to get him to change his mind but instead is pointing out to Leon that they need to pick a new guard as quickly as possible.

(Also this isn't really relevant to this post but I just want to point out: Leon doesn't say MC should have picked a Wishes god in the first place but that she should have picked Karno or Lou. Leon do you not trust your best friend (Aigonorus) to protect her? (I mean you're not wrong but 😂 )

Despite the above, this is from the start of Zig's epilogue:

Maybe Hue is bemused at Zig of all gods being the one to break the 'don't love one human more than others' rule, or maybe he's thknking now Zyglavis knows how he felt as to why he broke the rules of the heavens himself.

Zig and Hue's relationship is really complicated isn't it?

KRIOFF

This is the one second prologue one where there's a reaction right at the start from some of the first prologue gods but Hue isn't among them - I dunno whether that's cos he's already left like in other paths or what, but both Leon and Dui seem rather concerned with MC's choice here. (They're the only two with a reaction though so I'm rather curious as to what exactly was going on at the start of Krioff's - I'm sure the second prologue implied the first prologue gods had to leave to carry out the king's orders before MC made her choice so it's odd that any of them were still there in Krioff's route. If all of them were there why only those two who react? Ahem, sorry, I'm getting off track here. 😅 )

After the incident here, we get this which is interesting:

Teo was looking for an explanation and Hue shut that down. As Dui said about emotions affecting Krioff could he be worried there'd still be an issue there? On the other hand, Hue doesn't leap in and argue that Krioff should no longer guard MC like Leon and even Karno in this instance do (And it's actually Tauxolouve who is being the gentle reassuring take your time one here) but doesn't either agree with Dui who wants Krioff to have a second chance.

The fact that MC thinks that Wishes get on better with Krioff than others in punishments is interesting though and makes me wonder whether if nothing else Hue would be happier with him with MC than Partheno or Zyglavis. But as to what we actually have here? It seems rather neutral.

PARTHENO

Warning! Don't read this one until you've read his route!!!

What people think of Partheno is rather complicated when you know his power whilst he's still a demon.

I will note that Hue is the first to bring up that they should change the way they're guarding MC but on the other hand he was also the one being suspicious of Scorpio and joining in with the God's arguing.

I had to load Partheno's sequel to even get any real comment from Huedhaut (I didn't re-read all of Partheno's main but I'm pretty sure after the above they don't see the other gods again until after Partheno is attacking the heavens), and, well:

I don't think Hue is happy with this at all. Though he might not be quite as irritated as Aigo. And now I'm suddenly thinking about an Huedhaut/MC/Aigo fic... would that be weird? 🤔😅

One final note: Hue's own route? It's not happiness that she picked her, or relief that she didn't pick any one else, but his mind imediately goes to how can I make Leon think she's of no use to us and let her get back to her human life? Because he doesn't think she'll remember her previous incarnation (and at that precise moment that is correct, she doesn't) he would rather her continue to be happy and know that the soul of the love of his life is safe than drag her back into stuff involving the heavens. Even though in Prelude to Fate special story he was pleading with the king that Earth is not a place where he could reflect even more so than the others, he's more interested in keeping her out of it than anything that would have helped him.

*squishes Hue tightly*

I may change my mind when I re-read everything properly rather than just odds and ends like here but a very basic attempt at ordering which situations Huedhaut would be the happiest (least unhappy?) about happening:

Aigonorus

Karno

Tauxolouve

Teorus

Ichthys

Scorpio

Leon

Zyglavis

Krioff

Dui

Partheno

For the most part I feel like he would favour the other Wishes Gods even if the Punishments v Wishes thing isn't as fractured as they sometimes claim. That said he is clearly worried about her picking Leon and much less so about Ichthys, hence Ichthys going slightly higher here (and to be frank I could possibly see him higher here - there's a great exchange in Teo's route that I stumbled on that's giving me Hue/Ichthys vibes again 😅 ). What I'm probably least sure in this list is which way round Lou and Teo would be - Hue is clearly closer to Teo (well Lou did deliberately distance himself from everyone after all) but on the other hand Teo's main story has things in it that I'm sure wouldn't sit well with Hue. Karno as well to an extent - I feel like my second placing for him may be more to do with how he and Hue interact in other routes and some of the special stories.

The other one who is complicated is Zyglavis - I'd imagine Hue would know he'd keep her safe but at the same time though Hue and Zig seem rather similarly logically focussed how they interpret that seems to make their somewhat similar personalities clash at times.

I also suspect this list might change the further in the route you get but this post was supposed to be Hue's initial impressions (I may have got carried away when I went back to some of the first prologue gods after realising how late on he appears in some of the second prologue gods routes 😅 I could go deeper on the others but it looks like I started this draft around a week ago so I should probably post this before it gets any longer than it already has.)

Hopefully this rambling post somehow made sense and made some thoughts clear and was interesting. 😅

[scurvgirl]

I started a new BG3 game with a druid! I'm really enjoying her and just had Astarion bite her. She's not romancing him, but I thought 'What if, being a druid, she already knew what Astarion was?' which is, I am sure, a common thought. Anways, here's something -

--

Tesh figured it was only a matter of time before something, or rather someone, woke her up in the middle of the night. True, she was a little disappointed it was Astarion and not a certain green-eyed cleric, but here they were anyways, Astarion pulling away with a fear stricken expression.

"Shit."

Was this a standing conversation? Probably. With a tired grumble, the druid got to her feet and ran a hand through her black and white hair.

"You know, you could have just asked for some blood."

"I couldn't risk it, you could have said no or worse, try to run a stake through my heart."

"...But I haven't tried to do that."

"Well, of course not, you didn't know."

"...Do you really think I didn't know you are a vampire?" When shock crept into his face, Tesh could have laughed, "Astarion! You have red eyes, bite marks on your neck, are as pale as an arctic hare in moonlight and never eat my food. Not to mention the boar we found. Exsanguination is hardly a common way for wildlife to die - and you were the one who mentioned vampires. I've known you are a vampire since the first night we camped together."

A moment passed as Astarion stared at her. Oh, was he trying to hide his nature? She was so bad at telling when someone was trying to be sneaky or not. She herself could never hide her drow parentage, so hiding other aspects of oneself never seemed quite possible or worthwhile if someone was going to find out eventually.

She sighed, "The answer is yes, by the way, just let me wildshape first - you'll get a bigger snack that way."

However Astarion thought the night was going to go, snacking on his friend with their consent and getting his fill due to druidic magic had not been on the list. Yet, Tesh thought it was probably the best way for it to go. She didn't fancy waking up with teeth marks in her neck.

In a hazy moment of temporary blood loss, Tesh's bear form shrunk down into her half-elven one. Astarion's fangs were no longer embedded in her and he fell to the side as the size of the bear disappeared. He blinked, then smiled. It was a bit of a macabre sight - a vampire with a bloody mouth and newly flushed skin smiling in firelight.

"That was the best dinner you have prepared, by far."

"Hey, feeding from me has rules - don't insult the cook."

"No offense intended, my dear. That was positively scrumptious. How are you feeling?"

"Fine, damn spiders hurt more - their fangs are bigger." She winked and he feigned a scoff.

"It's what you do with the fangs that count."

"Is that what you tell all your meals?" She teased and for a second his smile wavered, but as quickly as it wavered it returned.

"Oh, they don't need telling."

She chuckled then yawned, "I'm fine being a little blood bag for when you need, but could we do it before I'm asleep? I don't have the luxury of trancing."

"I think that can be arranged."

Tesh kneeled back to her bedroll and was about to fall asleep when Astarion spoke once more, "You are truly not bothered by this?"

She turned over and looked at him. It was the smallest she'd seen him, vulnerability hanging on him as he waited her words. "Who am I to judge someone for their nature?" She asked softly, "You can't change being a vampire anymore I can change my heritage, and you've been good with us so far."

"You make excellent points."

"I do, now let me sleep, and try not to bite Lae'zel - you don't need to be deader than you already are."

"I'm hungry, not stupid! And...sleep well."

[squarebracketsmileyface]

heyyyy if ur still doing songs: Reliable Narrator by Chase Petra is so Tim i just-

all of it. so. so tim. i need someone else to sob with me

OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO okay I like this one, its fun. To me it kinda feels like if Jay kinda lost it and spiralled out of control about Tim, like, if Tim did something even slightly wrong Jay can't cope with it because his head's just full of Alex, so he goes off on Tim about him being an "unreliable narrator" or lying about things to him, both lies about general marble hornets stuff, but also lies about their relationship and Tim's intentions etc.

Anyway, read more thingymabob because this is a bit longer than it was meant to be

It kinda feels to me like a song for the end of the series, like, before the entry 80 fic i have planned where Jay dies and all that stuff. Like, when they have their argument and Jay shows up to Tim's house with the knife and all that. Like, he's accusing Tim of all sorts of things and Tim's questioning himself and realising that their relationship is basically over and he's trying to convince himself that that's okay and he doesn't need the "roses" (aka, like, a functional relationship and all the nice things that are meant to come with that) he spent so long trying to make it work, hoping it would work and they'd both make it out of Marble Hornets alive to see it work out.

The ignorance is bliss line works for that too. When Tim didn't know the extent of Jay's issues, and Jay didn't know the extent of Tim's, they could work fairly well together. The ignorance was bliss. But once they get to know who each other actually are ("actually are" a lot of it comes down to the operator fucking with them, like that voice message that got deleted and would probably have fixed a whole lot of things)

The less skin in the game like too. Tim was too far in already to just leave and stop fighting and go on living his life, and he'd probably also feel really guilty for leaving Jay even if he did decide to try and go back to living normally. Jay's already been abandoned and in his fear of it happening again, im not gonna like Jay could probably end up getting pretty manipulative about trying to get Tim to stay. Not maliciously, just in the way that he's terrified of being alone again and abandoned by someone he loves, so he'll say anything to make them stay, even if its hurtful or cruel.

The hit me where it hurts would probable be about exactly that, Jay would know exactly the things to say to hurt Tim the most. I get the feeling that accidentally Jay would say similar things to Tim as Alex said to him, but, like, twisted so that instead of being intended to drive Tim away (like alexs words were designed to) they'd be designed to try and make Tim not feel secure enough to leave. Because Jay isn't innocent in all this. With Alex he was definitely the one worse off and the victim in it (victim is the wrong word, but I cannot think of the right one, so i'm going with that for now, it's too harsh of a word i think? idk, anyway) but once Jay's in a healthy relationship, everything that kept his feelings safe when he was with Alex becomes kinda hurtful with Tim?

Idk if im explaining that well at all? I'm just putting my fears about relationships onto him, it doesn't need to make sense

ANYWAY

Idk what you thought of specifically, but I'd love to know cos damn it's a good song.

[brokenmusicboxwolfe]

Ufff. What a day!

Mom’s not well. Seriously unwell. Yesterday I read to her for 2 1/2 hrs, but today I didn’t even get to speak to her because she was in so much pain. I am worried sick. Any day I don’t get to tell Mom I love her upsets me anyway, but this is obviously much worse.

For the fourth day in a row my right ear has been making irritating crackly/popping sounds. I’ve had tinnitus as long as I can remember, and I don’t mind that background hum too much. At least it’s steady. This comes and goes. This keeps making me look to see what I’m hearing, like it’s beside me. I go from “Is there a critter back there?” to, “Oh, wait. It’s me!”

I’d gotten up early to go do the shopping, a trip that did two things besides get necessities for the next two weeks.

First, I found out a guy I’ve been friendly with at one of the stores for more than a decade is probably racist. It was a vibe, a body language, a warmth shut down. Up until now I’d not seen him checking anyone out, since he usually was doing the grunt work of moving stuff. He’s always seemed okay with his coworkers, but the telling thing in life is how you treat strangers and those with no power over you. Not shocking for a white dude in the rural south, but depressing.

Second, I used up my money. Like all of it. I weighed buying kerosene for the hot water heater and getting gas for the pickup. I am so sick of boiling water, that I decided the pickup can stay parked for two weeks (after I move that big bookcase between houses.)

Putting the kerosene in the tank when I got home I discovered the work I did the other day had created TWO joints to leak, the settling filter to tilt too much to work properly, and the whole tank to lean too far.

Oh, and I’d forgotten to rebuild the cinderblock steps to reach the pour in hatch. Trying to fix it I squished a finger. It’s purple now. Like entire end of the finger is purple!

And the steps no longer got me high enough, so I needed a ladder.

I discovered that last bit when I spilled a LOT of kerosene. In my face. In my eyes!

My eyes aren’t happy, BTW, and are planning to remind me of this assault for a while.

The kerosene took forever to put in the tank. It shouldn’t take THAT long to go through the screen. That’s because it turned out to be full of junk, that I now hope hasn’t contaminated the tank too much more than it already was after all probably 70 years of non-stop use.

I went to Mom’s house intending to do little. Instead I moved the damn treadmill! It weighs a ton, has only two tiny wheels that barely turn at the front but legs at the back, and was an inch two wide to go where I intended to put it out of the way in the hall. I had to maneuver it out of the bedroom with no swinging room for all the stacks of books, and get it through the door even though the pole saw that I store up the stairs sticks across it. **

Okay, so it’s too big to turn the corners to any of the other down stair rooms, and’s WAY too heavy to carry upstairs (even if I had the space or someone to help me), so I get the brainstorm to move it into the shed. I only have to move everything in the front of the shed…

You know, stuff like the industrial pump and seeming miles of hose my brother got for working on the boat, a spool of rope for the boat that’s waist high, the broken lawnmower, three boxes of damn jelly no one will eat, and that sort of thing.

Then I just had to get it off the porch and across the yard without gashing the steps or wood of the porch, or digging a groove through the grass, or getting stuck, or….

The neighbor dog, the great dane that’s now my buddy came to help. By help I mean he went into the house while the door was blocked open and grabbed things to take away and shred in the front yard. Foam. Paper. Bags…

OMG! Is that the bottom of the lantern I was removing the dead batteries from??? NO!!!! Give it back!!! That isn’t a toy! STOP!!!

Replacing that lantern will cost me $40. If that dog broke it…

And I petted him. Because what does he know.

I “walked” the treadmill across the yard, waddling using the two tiny wheels. The dog ran over as it swung back and forth, and heavy as it was I couldn’t stop the swing. WHACK! Right into his poor head!

He seemed okay, and after a bit of comforting he was back to normal. Well, except now he had discovered a game of trying to leap over the swinging treadmill.

Lifting the front into the shed I hurt my back, though I wasn’t really aware until I was putting everything back in the shed on top of it.

Oh good. Now I just have to disassemble the shelves, haul them around, put the bookcase back together, fill the floor to ceiling bookcase, and then figure out where I can make space for another one.

I realized then something had gone with my ankle brace on the bad foot. I could barely put weight on it.

With the animals fed and the sun set I was ready to flop, when…the two pain in the ass cats stole my seat! Nony and Yow Yow are lovable as heck, or I sure as hell wouldn’t let them in, but GEEZ, I have one single chair to sit in in the shop house, and with the floor collapsed it will stay one. The least they could do is shove over….

Okay, my supper livened them up, even if it was nothing the would want to eat. I went to put them on the porch, and Yow Yow did her usual boneless flop, not even trying to put her feet under her, and letting her wet sack of a body block the door. Nony, being just the opposite, seemed to fly back into the house. This led to him running around the house, playing keep away, and chewing in the cord to the freakin’ space heater! I put him out and…

Yow Yow was back in the chair asleep!!!!

***sigh***

I can’t evict a sleeping cat. So I sit down by her and in seconds she is on top of me. Now I couldn’t reach the computer or my sculpey or go get a drink or… I mean, awwwww, she looks so cozy!

I’m worried, I’m tired, I’m hurting, and I’m grumpy.

And if I don’t get this cat off my lap I’m not going to get the hot water heater lit!

**It’s been “fun” carrying stuff out of that room stepping over the pole saw that’s knee level, unusually backwards because there was no space to turn around after I picked up the storage container. Stupid beloved books!

***I have four bookcases , three of them floor to ceiling metal ones like this, in my bedroom at the shop. But where can I put them in house packed with the contents of three houses? They need to go against a wall, since we are talking maximum filling. And it can’t be a wall that already has furniture against it or where that chimney leaks sometimes or near the heater. I’ve already got bookshelves in front of windows even, with paneling wedged in not to protect the glass like with a sane person, but to shield the books. Too many windows! I need a cave! LOL

[gale-heart]

I’m not doing well at introspection. In hindsight, perhaps I ought not to have delved back into my worst memories alone at night, when I was still emotional and weary from travel. I’ve only accomplished making myself sad and further twisted up about even more things than I went in thinking about. I think the others could tell something was off after the meeting at town hall. I did tell them of Kerrius’ offer to do more work with us, but held off from everything else. Didn’t seem like the time or place to risk falling to pieces over my hot chocolate.

Remington is stepping down, both from the Council and as Head of Commerce. I’m glad she’ll have more freedom and space to take care of her personal business, and of course I like and trust the folks stepping up in her place, but it feels oddly…melancholic. I shall have to try and deal with it anyways—at the end of the day, I care more that my friends do what’s best for them. Even if I see less of them for it.

Waited until it was polite to leave and then threw myself into the skies and just…went. No real aim or purpose other than to be alone with my thoughts. I must have been up longer than I thought, because I was in Westfall by the time I got out of my head. Didn’t think they had Moongates that far south in the Kingdoms—definitely didn’t expect to find one on a tiny little spit of land off the coast, or the lone, ancient kaldorei knelt in prayer. I was torn between curiosity and not wanting to be rude by intruding (also not wanting to invite even more ire than I’ve previously received from Elune’s chosen) until she just invited me down.

Kiroette was far nicer than I’d braced myself for. She only checked that my boots were (relatively) clean (apparently not supposed to bring too much dirt to these gates) and then soon had me talking with surprising ease about myself and where I came from. Didn’t pry into what problems I was trying to work through—just invited me to silently share it all with the moon. (I’ve been uninvolved for so long that I’m…not sure if that’s quite how this works, but I don’t find myself inclined to doubt in this case.)

I haven’t sought Elune for anything in a very long time, associating Her attentions with the hostility of folk who mostly either thought I was dangerous for my magic or my choice of friends. Truthfully, I’ve half-believed that She would smite me into moon dust herself if I ever caught Her eye. This new idea—not only that She would still deign to care about my problems after I’ve fucked up twenty ways to Sunday, but that I could seek her comfort independent of an organized sect…I don’t know, it still seems audacious of me. But I suppose Kiroette has a point: Elune has probably seen far worse from people than a petulant youth with anger issues, and forgiven people for being away far longer than I have. At risk of being smote, I would like to think She’d be forgiving.

I suppose I would like to feel like I belong with the kaldorei, in spite of everything. I love the Fence dearly, and I don’t intend to leave them anytime soon, but I’ve been increasingly cognizant of how alienated I feel from my own people. Problem is, I alienated myself back then through my own actions—now, by joining a neutral (but mostly Forsaken and sindorei) company, I may have further killed any chance of my being welcomed back into society, or even tolerated. I’ve certainly met enough kaldorei in recent years who had no qualms in declaring me as good as the enemy. Sadly, tentative reconnection with Elune from a distance may be the best I can hope for at this point.

Fucking hell, I was supposed to come back from the Dragon Isles feeling good and confident about myself.

[bonesandthebees]

so this post definitely broke containment from its original intended audience. ty to everyone who has sent me condolences in the tags or asked me if I'm alright, I'm totally fine don't worry I've received worse comments than this. and I've received FAR more wonderfully kind comments than negative ones. I just made this post as a vent to keep myself from responding to the comment while I was still freshly annoyed.

however, I just saw some tags that bring up something I want to address

(note: this is in no way me being upset at the person who wrote these comments. I 100% understand why you think this, it's incredibly fair to assume very popular authors don't read all their comments, which is exactly why I want to correct it)

I didn't want to specify which of my fics I received this comment on because I didn't want anyone else to try and find it and respond to it, but others have already figured it out and responded and I've just decided to freeze the comment thread instead.

anyway, the fic I got this comment on currently has over 578,000 hits, and almost 4k comments. since this post broke containment and most people reblogging this don't know me, this isn't even my most popular fic. my most popular fic has over 2 million hits and 9.6k comments. I am, by all definitions, an incredibly popular author for my fandom.

despite this, despite all the emails I get from ao3 on a daily basis, I still saw this comment. I don't respond to my comments for the most part, because, well, it's a lot (and a vast majority of the time the questions I get in my comments have answers you can find on my social media). and sure, back when I was updating that fic that has over 500k hits or that fic that now has over 2 million hits, I would probably skim over a few comments because so many would come into my inbox at once. but I still read all of them. and now that my fandom has slowed down significantly and I no longer get blasted with 100+ comments within 2 hours of posting a chapter, I see pretty much every comment I get. across all 68 fics I've posted. I see them, and they still hurt.

and if you want to say, well bee, you clearly get so many good comments heaping you with praise you shouldn't really be complaining about the fraction of bad ones you get, you're right, I have no room to complain. I'm unbelievably grateful for how much support and love I get on my fanfic. it's why I've stayed in this fandom longer than any fandom I've written for in the past.

but I want people to know that all ao3 authors see their comments, regardless of how big or small they are. I want people to know that it hurts to see something you wrote for free entirely out of love for your favorite characters be criticized in such harsh ways. don't assume that just because a fic was posted years ago, or the author is hugely popular that they won't see it so it gives you free reign to comment whatever you want. we'll see it, so be kind. if you want to criticize a fic that's fine, but do it in a private space. don't do it in the fics comments section where you'll just be shoving it in the author's face.

ao3 commenters PSA: even on older fics with a ton of comments the authors still get the notifs for every single comment

re: the person who just left a multi paragraph comment on one of my older fics talking about how much they disliked the ending and detailing several alternate endings they came up with instead that they thought would be better, and ending the comment with "no one is going to see this but oh well" authors see your comments yes even on old fics and it really doesn't feel good to see a comment like that even years after I finished the fic

[thatstormygeek]

And so fascists play on, in a land of zero consequences for fascists.

In order to deal with this problem of unpopular and illegal goals in a governmental system that's meant to run on what is popular and legal, the fascists also intend to end democracy, and they sure have been making strides with rules they've changed and rules they're changing. In the swing state of Georgia, Republican election saboteurs have seized control of the election process and are rather predictably sabotaging the election, which they claim they are doing in the name of protecting the election. And Republicans are pushing an election law they call SAVE, which they claim is written to protect elections from fraud, even though the danger they are safeguarding against is non-existent, and one real effect of the rule may be to prevent women from voting. And they're trying to move the goalposts in Nebraska—even though the voting has already started—to claw back a single electoral vote Republicans have managed to let squirt free of its moorings, and they say they're engaged in this clear disenfranchisement of the people in the name of letting the will of the people be heard. This means that every 2 years or so the main choice we're making is whether or not we ever get to make choices again, which doesn't seem sustainable, probably because it isn't sustainable. It's like playing football against a team that only has to score a single touchdown to win no matter what the scoreboard says, because instead of playing football they spend their energy changing the rules, and now they've got one that states that if they (and only they) score one touchdown, then they get to execute any referees they don't like—according to the head referees, who they have been bribing. And if all the cheating fails and they lose anyway, then retaliatory violence is all but assured, partly because that's what happened last time and partly because that's what they are promising. This gang wants killing and they intend to have killing, one way or another.

Robinson also posted far worse things on the porn site than the things about his predilection for peeping on unsuspecting women and other sexual misconduct, which we know, because CNN, who broke the story, decided not to publish the worst stuff, because it was too bad to print. So I guess there's even worse out there that's just ... not being reported on, for our protection, I guess. Protection from what, I might wonder. Maybe CNN is sparing us the boredom of learning things about Republicans that we already assume are true, things that it has decided to decide for us won't "move the needle." Maybe CNN decided that we all already know that the true reason Republican voters liked Robinson enough to nominate him is that he is the sort of person who says things like "some folks need killing," and that statement so obviously represents the true core value of Republican voters that it no longer bears repeating. But it also presumes that Robinson's shocking statements about slavery and Nazism are all things that should probably be assumed of anyone these days who is a Republican candidate for high public office. Still, let's not single Robinson out. It also came out in court documents this week that Florida Representative Matt Gaetz attended a drugged-up sex party with an underage teen, which I could have sworn is something that already came out about Matt Gaetz. But then again sex crimes and predatory behavior and protecting those who commit them just seem to be standard party-issue stuff for Republicans these days, so perhaps it is notable mostly because Gaetz (like the rest of his fascist party) uses the protection of minors from pedophiles as the unfounded justification for their active persecution and demonization and dehumanization of trans people and other queer people and elementary school teachers and librarians (among others). And of course we have the head donut Donald Trump and his vice donuthole JD Vance, who along with demonizing trans people (among others) just won't stop inciting terrorist violence from their violence-aligned cult against Haitian people living in Vance's home state, smearing these poor people with a blood libel for the fake crime of eating neighborhood pets—animals that everyone by now knows were only temporarily missing and are still alive and well. At a recent fascist rally, Vance insisted—even while admitting that the targeted Haitians are there legally—that as far has he is concerned, the Haitians are illegal. And they intend to round up and deport "illegals," even as they signal that the definition of "illegal" has nothing to do with law, is in fact something that is entirely up to them and their bigotries. It's just directly shocking Nazi propaganda straight out of the genocide playbook, and it's quite popular with the sort of people who like that sort of thing, which for many of us includes neighbors and family.

So the report's conclusion was clear: The Republican Party could not succeed in a democracy any longer. Something would have to change. Republicans decided to take the report seriously, and set about making change; not attempting to build popular support by abandoning their base of white supremacists, but rather by destroying democracy. And here we are. Trump is here because he is very popular with fascists, and fascists are numerous enough that Republicans can still squeak out wins by using every anti-democratic tool at their disposal and inventing new ones. Trump is fascist because he sensed that fascism is what fascists wanted, and that fascism could be harnessed by somebody willing to give it in undiluted form. And the fascists responded because he was right about them, even while our institutions all agree to tell exonerating myths about them. All the tales I hear about how Republicans actually have other motivations and other, better, more honorable desires ignore the inescapable evidence that Trump took over the party with no shots fired, with only a few objections quickly walked back, a few murmurs and harrumphs. Trump didn't invade the Republicans. They summoned him. They were what they had decided to be. Trump was an inevitability just as whoever comes after him will be an inevitability, for as long as what he is is what they want. The rot isn't at the head; there is no head. The rot goes to the core. ... Republicans intend denaturalization and deportation and ethnic cleansing because those are the things that fascists want, and they intend to cheat at the election as much as they can, and they intend chaos if the cheating fails, and they plan violence if the chaos fails, because fascists don't care about rules, they only care about ruling, which is a matter they insist has nothing to do with questions of whether they have actually won the right to do so. They're doing all this openly because doing it openly is maximally menacing for the people they want to target, and fascists enjoy the fear of others, because the fear of others demonstrates that they are still dominating others. They're lying about why they're doing it, not because most of them don't know that they are lying, but because getting away with lies demonstrates domination. And the lies are ridiculous and laughably obvious because getting away with obvious lies demonstrates more dominance than being forced to craft believable ones does. They're calling themselves heroes for doing it, even while they mock and scorn true heroism, because being held blameless for abuse when you are the cause demonstrates dominance most of all. And they're getting away with it, because our institutions and systems and even the political opposition favors civility and politeness over truth and consequences. Even acting as if fascists intend to do what they say they intend to do is seen as gauche. And so fascists play on, in a land of zero consequences for fascists.

[casspurrjoybell-21]

Pirate Chains - Volume 1 - Strong Tides

*Warning Adult Content*

Chapter 40 - Pros and Cons - Part 2

Agenor

Ignoring his protests, I removed the handkerchief to take a closer look. The bruises had deepened to a shade of purple but the non-bruised areas appeared better than they did yesterday. It would likely take a few more days before I could put the collar back in place. I gently caressed his neck, causing him to wince.

"Still hurts?" I asked.

"Just a little... But right now, my wrist bothers me the most."

"Just a little longer, Nyx. Once your neck heals, your hand will be free."

"What? No, I don't want the chain anymore. I really, really hate it."

I placed the handkerchief back around his neck.

"Let's revisit this in a few days. Maybe if you behave, I'll take it off."

"Days."

Nyx looked confused, his gaze dropping to the chain as if the metal could provide answers. Then, in a whiny tone, he asked...

"Why? What did I do?"

"Nothing."

"You're clearly punishing me for something, Agenor. So, what have I done to deserve the chain again?"

I sighed, tired of his relentless questioning. If he would just stop doubting my decisions, I wouldn't feel the need to confine him here.

"It's safer for you here."

"Maybe at first but you said yourself they won't dare hurt me. And you've seen it yourself. Your crew came in and they didn't do anything wrong. They were actually nice, as nice as pirates can be anyway. It was kind of strange but it's obvious they mean me no harm. So..."

To my silence, he continued...

"Then at least I should get back to work..."

"Not for a few of days, Nyx. And I'll prohibit the herd from entering here again."

"You want me to talk to the walls all day? Even prisoners have the right to receive visitors, damn it."

"Not on my ship."

"Oh, so now I'm a prisoner? Again?"

I gave him a pointed glare, which he returned before his voice softened.

"One second, I'm a prisoner and the next, you treat me like a child. That's degrading in more than a way. I don't know what you want anymore."

"Lords, Nyx. Why the hell do you even want to go out? You can't walk properly. You're still injured. Besides, it's scorching hot out there. Just stay here. It's better for your healing."

"Exactly. It's a warm day and the winds probably won't pick up again for three or four days. It's suffocating to stay in here. And there's a strange smell... Just let me out and I promise I won't cause any trouble..."

"NO."

I hadn't intended to yell at him but his persistence was infuriating. He had become accustomed to roaming freely around the ship, seemingly forgetting to whom he belonged to.

"It's for your own good. So stop arguing, damn it. You just need to trust me."

"Wait. Where are you going? Agenor? Agenor?"

********

I returned to the cabin late at night to find Nyx already in bed. Slipping in behind him, I pulled him close, wrapping my arms around him. As he turned and nestled against my chest, purring softly, I knew he was fast asleep. His adorable actions were never intentional, he simply couldn't help it. The following day, I found myself increasingly preferring Nyx when he was asleep. Whenever he opened his mouth, he would plead to be freed from the chain that bound him. It frustrated me but deep down, all I wanted was for him to be submissive to me alone. If only he could understand that, then I would shower him with all the affection he desired.

By the third day, everyone's mood had taken a turn for the worse. I found myself inexplicably angry and the fact that I had been avoiding Nyx and keeping my distance only intensified my frustrations. The oppressive heat of the windless day made everyone irritable and the slow pace of our tasks didn't help matters. But the most bothersome of all was the stench emanating from the severed hand, it's rotting flesh permeating the air. In the afternoon, I decided that Nyx's whining was far more preferable than the sour expressions worn by the crew, so I retreated to my cabin. As I opened the door, I was met with the sight of Nyx hunched over the chamber pot, retching. Concerned, I rushed to his side.

"Are you okay? What's wrong?"

He quickly wiped his mouth and covered the pot. He tried to reassure me with a feeble...

"It's nothing... I'm fine."

"You were throwing up just now," I exclaimed, worried.

"I'm not..." Nyx's words were cut off as he covered his mouth, leaning over the pot once more.

I crouched beside him, supporting his chest as he gagged repeatedly. His stomach seemed empty but that didn't stop the relentless waves of nausea from gripping him. I gently held back his hair, noticing how pale his face had become. My heart sank as I feared he might have contracted a sea fever or something worse. I had taken great care to ensure his well-being but now… Fuck, I felt helpless.

'God don't let him get sick.'

Nyx pulled away, covering the pot and I supported his shoulder with my chest. He closed his eyes and took deep breaths. I caressed his back, wanting to ask him more questions but he pushed me away weakly and hoarsely told me.

"I'm good. Just go back to managing your ship."

"The ship is fine," I reassured him, observing his pale and exhausted appearance.

I touched his forehead and felt a slight relief when I found it to be of normal temperature. Continuing to stroke his back, I asked...

"Does your stomach hurt? Did you feel unwell after lunch? Maybe you ate something bad."

He shook his head slightly and replied...

"It's not that. It's... that smell. It's unbearably disgusting."

He covered his nose, a look of revulsion on his face. Despite his efforts, he continued to gag every few seconds. He was too weak and it pained me to witness his suffering. I caught a whiff of the cabin's air and finally noticed the lingering odor of the decaying hand that hung outside. The smell was indeed foul and with the lack of wind, it seemed to have lingered in the cabin for hours.

"Oh God. How can the sea smell this bad?" he muttered.

I comforted Nyx, patting his hair gently.

"Hang in there. I'll get you some fresh water."

He pushed himself back to lean against the bed, covering his nose with the bed sheets and closed his eyes. He looked pale and miserable. I carried the chamber pot outside and handed it to someone for cleaning. Then, I fetched a bucket of clean water from the water room and found another clean pot waiting by the cabin door.

Before entering the cabin again, I paused to reflect for a moment. For once, I felt a pang of remorse.I retrieved my dagger from the mast and swung it forcefully towards the sea, watching as the putrid flesh flew and landed in the salty water. I turned to see Ace, noticing the surprise in his expression. I tossed the dagger to him and he caught the pommel effortlessly.

"Make sure it no longer reeks of dead animals," I instructed him.

"Aye Aye, Captain."

[snowflakesnsundry]

There’s a certain level of connection and emotional investment required to write any character well. Loki, in my opinion, is not a character that is easily written. He is complex, guarded, and often contradicts himself. Even so, you have captured his essence with this story. You explore his nuances and show glimpses of his hidden qualities in a way that is characteristic of Loki (for better or worse). You understand who Loki is. ❤️

Now for some specific favorites:

I love that you nodded to the snake story (it’s one of my favorite parts of Ragnarok!)

It’s easy to understand when and why Loki is masking around others.

The protagonists personality is a great blend of her parents. She clearly takes after her father, but I think she has much more of her mother in her than she realizes. It will be interesting to see if she acknowledges and develops that side of herself (considering everything that’s happened and what lies ahead)

Baldur! Frustrating, infuriating, smug, vicious, strategic… I could go on. Very well done😅

I’m anxious to see when/how the prejudice towards Jotunheim and the frost giants effects future events. It feels like she’s had so many clues but hasn’t put 2&2 together. Then again each clue has been spaced far enough apart that it’s easy to see why the connection hasn’t been made yet.

I’ve got a pretty big conspiracy theory about their conversation re: seiðr but I’m probably reaching so I’ll spare you the chaos of my mind labyrinth 🤣

Sorry, this turned out to be much longer than I intended!

Anyway, I hope you’re feeling better. I just wanted to let you know what I appreciate about your work (specifically).

I… Anon, I cannot say thank you enough. Writing has been my joy my whole life, and before I started this fic I had been stuck in a stage of my life where I had lost faith in my ability to do so. The fact that you have cared enough about what I have written to convey this level of detail and insight into the story strikes me to my absolute core- and again, I cannot thank you enough. At the risk of over sharing- the reason I adore writing Loki is because I relate to him perhaps a little too well. I grew up the child of a very visible public figure, and felt as if I never quite lived up to expectations. I had one parent who was gentler with me, and we shared a love of writing through which we connected. With my other parent, their anxieties and fears for my future often left us at odds, and I felt as if they strongly preferred my siblings. I always fell short of what they wanted me to be, and so I largely drew inward. In highschool, the former parent passed away, and it broke a part of me. I reacted by engaging in increasingly self destructive behaviors, and withdrew from everyone else. Eventually, I was fortunate enough to meet someone (a tutor) who helped me advocate for myself and ask to go to therapy; they helped me not just internalize everything anymore. I learned what parts of me were different, and why I often felt I fell short- and fortunately have been able to get a lot of help with it Unlike loki, over time I grew much closer to my family, and have been able to fully settle into my own (mostly)- and its something I hope his character finds as well. Watching the TV series was something that made me feel like, maybe, there was a realistic chance for me to find some sort of healthy relationship with someone someday- despite all the imperfect parts of me. Because someday, I will find someone who understands those things too. Anyway, for those reasons- and others- your comment and your kindness made me cry. That was something i seriously needed <3 If you see this, I beg you- send me your conspiracy theory. I too live in a constant mind labyrinth, and I would love to see yours. Also, new chapter is now up :P Again- Thank you. https://archiveofourown.org/works/33865711/chapters/109025235

[britcision]

Imma riff on this one a little if that’s okay?

———

The last thing Danny remembers feeling is safety. A protective rage that should have been terrifying, an angry ghost so close and about to attack and there’s nothing he can do.

Can’t defend himself, can’t protect the human.

But he feels safe.

This ghost won’t hurt him. This ghost felt his distress and came to help. And that means Danny needs to protect him too, because the GIW will take them both if they can.

This ghost is fucking big though. Massive shoulders, massive arms picking him up and cradling him to a chest so huge Danny can’t help but think of his dad.

The memory aches, makes him want to retch, but the damn ketamine’s pulled him far enough out of his body that he barely feels it.

He wishes his dad would come for him. Change his mind, take back that betrayal, rescue him and take him somewhere really safe. But he knows that’s not what happened.

In as much as he knows that he’s not just dreaming now, and his body is actually just passing out on the floor.

He reaches up to the big guy anyway, grabbing ineffectually at a shirt stretched over that enormous chest.

Hell, maybe it’s Dan. Maybe Clockwork finally sent Dan to finish him. That’d beat going back to the GIW, but whether the world ends or not, Danny has one more thing to say.

“They’ll find me. ‘F I pass out now, they’ll find me. Can’t hide m’energy…” the words slur and run together, barely audible, and the ghost props him higher to listen.

Danny feels gratified, in as much as he feels anything through the fog.

“G’tta… run…” he manages, eyes never actually opening to look at the person who feels so angry and so safe.

He can’t hold on any longer. But… he wants to trust. Like he trusted the old man. The universe wouldn’t fuck him over twice in a row, right?

He was definitely waking up back in a cage. Joy.

**

Alfred hadn’t yet had the pleasure of seeing Jason’s eyes glow green with fury. Not directed at him.

It’s not enough to make him visibly react, but it definitely changes the situation; better or worse, he’s not sure yet. He doesn’t move to stop Jason from lifting the boy, though he does shift to the door into the rest of the manor.

He won’t block Jason’s exit, not if something has the boy this wound up. Hopefully opening another door will help.

“I believe we should head to the cave?” He says, tone calm and soothing in the face of Jason’s rage. It’s basic anger management, but it’s also helped pull Jason back to lucidity before.

It’s not working now, Jason shaking his head firmly and clutching the now unconscious boy tighter.

“Hell no. Why did you drug him?” It’s definitely a growl, still unfriendly, and the boy’s slurred final message has Alfred’s hackles up too.

He may have made a mistake.

“I believe he is some form of meta. He was able to infiltrate the house without notice, and displayed several abilities common to Martians. I intended to bring him to the cave so that we could learn who he is and why he came.”

He doesn’t mention the potential threat; Jason should never have had to ask the question, but he’s not stupid even when he’s having an attack. Anyone infiltrating the mansion, getting past Alfred, is potentially dangerous.

Drugging the boy might not have been the best choice, but it wasn’t like he could have been politely invited down. Jason shakes his head firmly, backing up.

“Then the “they” are probably some kind of meta trafficking ring. I’m getting him out of here now.” He’s still surly enough, still bright green in the eyes, and Alfred suspects Jason still sees him as the primary threat.

Again, he’s a very smart boy.

And he’s right, bringing meta traffickers to the manor could be more dangerous than an unknown meta, even one with a clear connection to the Lazarus pit. If they’re pretending to be a “normal” family it may put Duke at risk.

Luckily, there’s an easy answer.

Alfred nods, crossing back across the kitchen to activate a small wall panel. There are emergency dominos and a button inside, but no weapons.

Which is probably why Jason tenses, but doesn’t move.

“Then may I suggest the Watchtower? I would be very interested to observe a trafficking organization able to reach you in space, which would also give us their precise location. I shall inform Master Bruce of the potential danger and we can begin a formal investigation.”

Whoever the child is, the power he has displayed only makes an organization that he fears even more dangerous.

Whoever the child is.

Alfred hesitates. If the boy has been trafficked, he has likely been drugged before. It is never a pleasant experience, and while he regrets the need he was prepared for the outcome.

Having potentially brought up a whole slew of familiar nightmares was not something he’d accounted for. And the boy looks so small cradled in Jason’s arms.

“There is also a medical bay, with more extensive meta or alien supplies than the cave has on hand,” he adds, and that seems to settle Jason’s mind.

He nods, finally moving further into the mansion.

"Through the cave then. Quickly. Whoever is coming, I'm going to be gone before they arrive."

Alfred nods, sending a short, pointed message to masters Timothy and Bruce so that both are apprised of the situation, and follows Jason to the hallway.

"I will activate the manor's ranged scanners and defences. I trust you will wish to be informed of any other "guests"?" he asks just a little pointedly, and knows Jason has calmed enough for coherent thought when he gives Alfred a slightly sheepish smile.

"Yeah. It's just… I could feel him, Alfie. He was terrified. I have to get him to safety." The imperative is a little concerning, and Alfred certainly won't suggest it yet, but he's already planning another few scans and tests to perform on Jason too.

Hopefully once the boy awakes, Jason's presence will persuade him to share the same level of openness that his arrival brought. If they had remained unaware that someone was tracking him…

Well, it raises the odds that this unfortunate lad is truly a young stray in need of protection, and not some form of trap or agent seeking to harm the family.

Alfred will hide the adoption papers again, for all the good that ever does. A little more variation will make the family photos more interesting.

They part ways at the hall to Bruce's office, Jason proceeding to the cave and then the zeta tube, Alfred to the small broom closet at the end of the hall that leads to the manor's operations room.

Interestingly, none of their own devices are registering a new power source, but there is a degree of EM interference that was present when the boy first arrived.

It vanishes at the same moment as the zeta tube activates, and Alfred adds that to his notes.

Red Hood is not formally allowed access to the Watchtower (Jason never wanted it), but coming from Batman's primary address with Alfred's clear will ensure no one asks questions.

It will certainly give them enough time for Bruce to send a more detailed message and explain the situation.

**

Danny wakes up in an overly clinical hospital bed, which is just enough to push him to full wakefulness.

He still feels safe, that reassuring presence right beside him. There’s a large and bulky man in the chair beside him, his full attention fixed on the door.

Danny had thought he must be imagining his size in his drugged state (the memories are certainly blurry enough) but… nope, he’s fucking huge.

And feels like protection and safety and Danny just has no idea what to do about that.

He’s not restrained though, which is always good. Rules out the GIW, at least for now. He’s still gotta go though, because even if they aren’t here now, they will be soon.

He recloaks his energy, for whatever good that’ll do at this point. At least they won’t know where he’s going. But… he should take his rescuer with him.

This guy’s not just a ghost, he can tell that now, but he’s close enough the GIW will probably take him too. Danny knows painfully well what they’ll do if it turns out he’s still too alive for their tastes.

He’s also very considerately pretending not to notice Danny’s awful attempt at feigning sleep. But Danny’s caught a couple glances over, so he definitely knows.

Good thing he wasn’t planning to leave without his new buddy anyway. Not and leave him to the tender mercies of the GIW.

Still, Danny figures he’ll make this “we both know you know I’m awake” thing official and clears his throat, pulling himself into a sitting position.

Tries to, anyway. His limbs are still leaden and don’t respond right, and he’d have fallen if Buddy didn’t catch him. Ease him back to a sit, and props the pillows behind him to support his weight.

He’s a dab hand at it too, and Danny has to wonder how often he’s handled people in this situation. Drugged, or sick. Either way, his heart aches at the thought.

“So… I gotta go,” Danny rasps, and triple fuck being drugged because he sounds like shit and his throat feels like sandpaper.

Buddy takes a glass and jug from the table and fills the glass with water, then before Danny can reach for it he takes a sip himself and waits before handing it over.

Oh.

Showing him there’s nothing in the water.

Danny hadn’t even considered it, his brain to sluggish and foggy, but something in him crumbles with gratitude at the gesture. Aches with how well Jason clearly knows this exact situation.

Was he drugged? Or does he just have the unluckiest and most fucked up family ever?

Is he a hero? The kind of guy Danny wishes had come for him? Well, whatever else he is, he’s Danny’s hero now.

Danny forces himself to sip the water slowly, Buddy carefully supporting both his head and the cup. He knows he’d make himself sick if he chugged it, but he still wants to.

Is grateful for that steadying hand holding him back. It’s cool, clear relief pouring down over his dry and aching throat, and he’s sure water never tasted so good.

Once he’s finished, Buddy refills the glass and steals another sip.

Something about the look on his face makes Danny think this one is at least a bit to be a little shit, since the water’s clearly fine. It makes him smile just a bit, and then he’s offered the water back.

He gets about half way through the second glass before stopping.

“Seriously.”

And he already sounds better, feels better. But he’ll probably need something to eat to finish clearing the drug from his system. Maybe some ecto.

Maybe he’ll just stay in the Infinite Realms forever.

It’s a heavy, leaden thought, and he pushes it aside. Gotta get away again first.

“Thanks for this. All of it. Getting me out of there. But we, you and me, we’ve both gotta get going. There’s people coming, and I can’t hide myself when I’m asleep so they’ll be on their way know. They know where we are.”

He’s trying his very best to impress the seriousness of the situation on this guy, and is mildly annoyed that it clearly isn’t working. Buddy just grins, stands, and walks around the bed.

“Can’t promise they don’t know, kid, but it’d be damn impressive to see them get here,” he says very casually, and Danny’s eyes draw in.

The GIW aren’t like police or gangsters, they’re fucking insanely reckless and will drive straight through any defences.

“You don’t understand, they’re not-”

But Buddy cuts him off, raising a hand placatingly and hitting a button on the wall.

“No, sorry kid, I think you don’t understand.” A panel slides down, exposing a window. Great. It’s night out, he can see… stars…

Only stars.

No other buildings, trees, walls, ground. No clouds, birds, animals. Just. Stars. All around.

Danny’s irritation fades into a soft, gentle wonder.

“We’re in fucking space, kid. Nobody’s coming to get you from here.”

For the first time in far too long, Danny bursts into tears.

————

Just a couple other bits:

- being in SPACE does a lot to endear Jason to Danny beyond the general feeling of safety, which is good cuz the more the drugs wear off the less Danny trusts the feeling

- being on the Justice League’s station is a bit less reassuring, until Jason points out that they’re not on fucking US soil, they don’t have to extradite him

- Jason blatantly refuses to leave the room except for bathroom breaks, and while some of the other leaguers gently try and separate Known Terrorist Red Hood from this clear trafficking victim, Danny fucking bites them

- that’s his goddamn Known Terrorist now he’s the one Danny trusts not to work with, again, the goddamn government

- learning he broke into Batman’s house by accident makes the drugging suddenly make sense, but Danny’s still righteously pissed that they didn’t even try just asking

- for once Alfred is the one on the Naughty Step

- they get the rest of the League involved very quickly, especially Diana and Arthur (Aquaman) once Danny explains it’s the actual government trying to traffic him

- Danny winds up staying with Jason in Gotham and refuses to set foot near the manner for months. Whether this is an eventual shipping situation or mutual adoption is up to whoever wants the prompt

- Jason 1000% uses “sorry I’m legally nonsapient, not my fault” every single time Bruce tries to lecture him even after the Anti Ecto Acts are abolished

- Danny gets richer than Vlad from government compensation when it comes out that they deadass murdered him for experiments - helped by Vlad losing most of his fortune for his involvement in attempted genocide

(The fact that the GIW would have happily also taken him seems not to have occurred to Vlad when he funded them but boy does it occur to Danny)

- Danny 1000% goes on patrol with Jason through Crime Alley cuz holy shit he can be a mob boss his life has always been bullshit but this is the best part

- Danny also cycles through classic mobster movie accents and Jason will join him and the goons hate it

- Bruce is doing his very best to adopt Danny to a stable home in the manor because Jason’s lifestyle isn’t even great for Jason let alone another murdered kid

- Danny doesn’t wanna go to school he wants to be a mobster and also fuck being near Alfred

- Jason also refuses to come to family dinner and leave Danny behind and nobody blames Danny but they are all very sad

- Danny feels shitty for getting between Jason and his family but Jason deadass will not let him blame himself. The solution? Jason hosts family dinner

- at first it is just family and it’s kinda weird but Danny’s learning to cook and bumping off the other bats on patrol and shit and they all get to know each other

- things with Alfred slowly gets better because Jason takes extreme petty pleasure in Alfred being the guest and having to sit and eat with the family but Alfred’s not allowed in without talking to Danny so they have a long heart to heart and an apology

(Danny understands why he did it intellectually, but that doesn’t make it right or okay and Alfred understands this too, so they make some good progress)

(Alfred solemnly swears he will protect Danny and his secrets just as much as the bats’, since Danny is family now. Danny cries)

- Danny hangs out in the kitchen helping Jason cook cuz he will not eat anything that’s been out of his sight. Over time as things improve this eventually changes to allow Alfred in so long as Jason is still there

- eventually Alfred and Danny end up cooking together in the manor, and then finally one day Danny just doesn’t go with him to cook and Alfred knows he’s forgiven so he makes Danny’s favourites

- at some point Jason has to go takedown the last of the GIW with the League so Danny stays at the manor while he’s gone because ironically the only person in the batfam he’s scared of is Alfred, so he assumes Alfred can successfully protect him if he’s on Danny’s side

(Video of the GIW trying to get past Alfred at Wayne Manor after Jason took him to the Watchtower only further cements this belief, someone tried to shove the old man around and he beat them all to hell, piled them back in their van, and drove them onto a ferry

Nobody gets into the manor without Alfred’s permission)

- at some point Danny helps Jason with his pit rage and Jason learns to shoot green ectoblasts instead because he’s a good boy and deserves finger guns

These replace his regular guns on patrol and Batman is Actually Not Happier About It but what’s he gonna do, he said no guns and Jason is not using guns

Sandwiches taste better be without ketamine — part 1

Y'know all those Danny is in wayne mansion and Alfred drugs him (bc they're sus of this dude, Bruce wants to interrogate him whatever).

Well i had a thought and i think i wanna write it haha

Tw: drugging, disasosiaction (from first pov), overall Danny is not in a good mental space

--------

It was evening.

Danny wasn't sure where exactly he was, nor even what year it was. The mansion he broke in was huge and fancy, all the gothic aesthetic this city seemed to be almost worshipping and the slimy smell of money, included.

At first he hoped no one will notice him, as foolish as it was with his luck. He wasn't all that suprised when an elderly man in black suit tapped his shoulder and asked if he would want a 'brunch'. If Danny didn't have ghost sense, he'd suspect he was the ghost of a butler or something, but no. The man was very much alive, if not a little liminal. But at this point who wasn't.

:read more:

And yes, Danny can admit it was stupid not to ran the moment he noticed the man, but... was it so wrong to hoped maybe for once he met nice people who wouldn't try and vivisect him?

Feeling the familiar artificial feeling of fatigue, yes, yes it was.

In the private of his mind, he couldn't help but feel disappointed. The man seemed nice, but more importantly his food was divine. God, if his existence wasn't banned by the government, he might've even take the drugging for the food.

Yes, he might be disasosiacting. Not like he has any other choice, if he doesn't want to destroy this place.

“Is something wrong sir?” the elder (he introduced himself, but Danny figured trying to drug someone made him loose name privileges) asked, a great imitation of genuine worry lacing his voice. The boy had to give it to him, he was an excellent actor (who tried to drug him. Put something in his food and he didn't notice. Wanted to do who knows what with.him. druGgeD hIM lIKe tHE gIv dIiiiIIiIi—)

Danny blinked. It was getting harder to keep his eyes open. He opened his mouth to speak, but the ever boiling anger was now even stronger than normally. He wanted to scream and punch the man. He wanted to take the tasty guacamole toast and throw it so hard it cracks the wall. He wanted to destroy and wail and-

Instead he continued staring at the man, no emotions visible on his face. Danny didn't want to say anything, or even move, because what if that was the catalyser for him to break and just... do something he might regret later. But the longer was sitting on the stool, the stupid toast in front him, the man's eyebrows scrunching in fake worry—

"If there is anything I can—"

"is it normal for you to drug every guy who visits, or am I just that special?" he could hear himself say. Or well, Danny knew he was saying this, but it was as if it was beyond his control. Like he was just a onlooker in his own life.

The butler blinked, but other than that no surprise showed on his face. So it wasn't a mistake, Danny noted, ignoring the rising tension in his body. Some part of him sighed, already preparing to fight the grandpa before him.

"it appears there was some sort of—" the boy jumps over the island, zeroing onto the older man's hand. He wrenched the stun gun out of his grasp, not afraid to bite or scratch, all the while dodging a kick to his side. The other man had suprisingly strong grip, but it was nothing in face of Danny's rising suspicions and surprise attack.

The boy swiftly got as far away as he could, dismantling the weapon without taking his gaze away from the butler. The man was watching his action, apparently already gotten over Danny's surprise attack. A shame, he hoped he'd be able to overshadow the elder when he was in shock. He wasn't otherwise suprised, when he brushed his mind before, he could feel his mind was strong.

The familiar haze of pills was starting to take over Danny's body. He had to leave quickly. He couldn't leave without injuring the older man. If he didn't do something right now, he will fall unconscious.

Snarky quips it was than "If you wanted to get rid of me, you could've just called the police like a normal person y'know" the words came out more bitter than he wanted, but even that didn't shake the man before him. The butler was still watching him, positioned in something Danny vaguely recognized as fighting stance, face impassionate. That fact alone made him add "Or just... Tell me to leave. Literally anything but putting anesthetics in a perfectly good sandwich" only to see him squirm. The way he was so unbothered... Well it made Danny uncomfortable. (No one who drugged a kid, even if they had white hair and glowed, without showing an ounce of remorse was not a good person)

His eyes were closing, and he could feel his grip slipping on his power. What was the old man thinking?? The average human would probably be dead if they ate this much ketamine... This was getting more and more dangerous by the second, he had to... He had to... He...

"I apologize for all of this, but anyone able to enter this mansion unnoticed, cannot simply leave before some... Conversation happen" and didn't that sound ominous as hell. His vision was swaying, and he couldn't stay on his feet anymore. The panic was the only thing keeping him conscious. The moment he fell asleep, he wouldn't be able to keep his ecto signature in check, meaning They would immidietly know where he is. He would no longer be putting only himself in danger, but also the old man (as much as he deserved it for drugging him).

And he didn't know how his powers worked after everything. He could easily destroy this whole mansion, just by unravelling his true appearance.

"No... I- I have to... I..." his core was screaming. the similarity of this situation was a reminder of how he changed and what he used to be. He try to move towards where he thought could be the outer wall, but his limbs were so heavy. The boy didn't even bother to look at the old man anymore, just trying to get out of here. He turned on his stomach, crawling away from the man, tears gathering in the corner of his eyes. They stung in anger and hopelessness that once again filled him.

"It will not take long, you have nothing to worry about child" if he was little bit more aware, he might catch the pity in his voice, but he wasn't. All he could hear were threats and scorn. A noise, that wasn't entirely human, build up at the back of his throat. He couldn't stop the pathetic high pitched whines that escaped his mouth, even as his eyes were closed and body no longer moving.

And exactly in that moment the door to the kitchen smashed open, a burning core answering his own "What the fuck is going on here?!"

---

Yeah idk this was just something on my mind, idk how this would even continue lol

Uh some more stuff i thought of for this

Danny wouldn't have a good relationship w Alfred at first. Like dude wouldn't trust him at all, not his food anything he says, and all. Idk the batfam could feel guilty, or it'd just be a cool new experience it doesn't matter

On that note, their relationship would probably get better, but i just wanted to acknowledge that someone drugging u is super traumatizing even if they do it w good intentions

Danny got kidnapped/sold to giv it doesn't really matter, but what is important is that he's full ghost. Why? Idk i just think it'd be so terrible for giv to see this Schrodinger's boy and went "yo what if we made him full ghost" and them succeeding. Like first of all that shit would destroy Danny and also it'd be such a terrible situation. Also batmans reaction to Danny dying, surviving (kinda) and than dying again would be so interesting

Also the person to come in is obviously Jason. He heard a kid screaming and felt it, and the pits went "baby >:((("

No idea what happens after, but at some point he stays at the manor and stuff happens. Idk what yet but it could be anyying

Where's batfamily? In batcave probably idk

I'm so tired i just finished writing this an holy wow kill.me. it's been a rough week haha. Hope u liked this i might continue this but probably not

[oh-katsuki]

Golden Boy (Izuku x Reader)

Masterlist 

Pairing: Izuku x Reader

Summary: Izuku was a nice boy, except when it came to you. Yup, UA’s golden boy really knew how to treat a slut like you. 

Content Warnings: Dubcon, slight noncon, dacryphilia, size kink, face fucking, overstimulation, creampie, degradation, humiliation, spit kink, choking, finger choking, pet names, ooc izuku

Word Count: 5.6k 

A/N: I got SCARY h-word over this man and decided that I literally wanted him to hurt me and spit in my mouth. He’s too nice to not be a fucking freak, goodbye. 

Anyway, thank you to @eremiie , @mikaberries , and @veroyktv for beta-reading this!! I appreciate y’all !

Izuku tormented you all through high school. It was almost shameful to admit the way that his gentle teases melted into something far more sinister as the weeks bled into months and years. What started as subtle comments turned into  outright taunts and then the contactless threats no longer remained empty. 

No one believed you. And who would? 

Izuku was a model student and a good friend, someone with a kind disposition who wanted nothing more than to become the greatest hero. What reason could he possibly have to bully you? You’d never done anything to him. 

But he did. For three years he mercilessly taunted you and it only got worse your final year. 

Izuku would pinch at your thighs, sneering at you in the hallways when no one was looking. He’d snake his hand up your skirt and squeeze the supple flesh hard enough to leave bruises that eventually littered the entire inside of your thigh. They looked incredibly vulgar and Izuku would torment you about it endlessly, despite knowing that he’s the one who left them. 

He’d crowd you against the lockers after most people had gone home, knowing you’d be there late after your tutoring sessions. 

“Tsk. Quite some marks you’ve got there.” He’d say, stepping up to you, his broad shoulders squared, a half smile creeping onto his face as his eyes studied the inside of your thighs. The marks littered the otherwise smooth skin, visible when looking at you from the front. 

“You get them from slutting yourself out?” Izuku would ask, stepping toward you again. “Y’look like a bit of a whore, don’t you?” 

He’d lean in close to your ear, venom seeping into each of his words as he cornered you. His hand crept up your skirt, eyes trained on yours which widened with fear as he pinched down, relishing in the yelp of pain that escaped you.

You wondered how someone like Izuku could make you feel so small and so insignificant.You couldn’t even bat his hand away as he made a fool of you, pinching at the inside of your leg with thick, calloused, and scarred fingers. It didn’t matter how tall or strong you were because it always seemed that Izuku was bigger, domineering in attitude and words. He really did know how to reduce you to a helpless thing. 

It seemed Izuku was growing more desperate by the day as graduation gradually crept closer. It was like he made less of an effort to hide it, blowing into your ear and whispering vile shit to you while in class, things that would make anyone squirm in their seat. He’d start bumping into you, singling you out, making an effort to get you noticed by his friends so he could have you as a little plaything whenever they hung out. 

And you let him. You let him make a toy out of you, tagging along with Iida, Uraraka, and Asui on Saturday outings, letting Izuku pinch and prod at you from across a restaurant table.

The truth was, Izuku Midoriya fucking terrified you. 

So you couldn’t say no to him. To everyone else you looked like nothing more or less than one of his many admirable friends. Promising quirk and a promising future, what a match for UA’s golden boy. 

You were at your wits end and by the time graduation rolled around. No one listened to you. Hell, people often brushed off Izuku’s very genuine threats as classic childhood teasing. “You’re such a good sport!” they’d say as Izuku patted your back, laughing an all too cheery “just kidding!”

How were you supposed to focus on graduation day, all dolled up in your cap and gown, unwilling to admit to yourself that maybe it was for him? Still, you found yourself automatically flinching whenever Izuku came around, eyes following him across the lawn as he ignored you in favor of photos. Izuku had a promising job offer waiting for him, and his many awards won during the ceremony earned him several congratulatory handshakes as well as pictures for the school’s newsletter. 

Still, he’d catch your eye when smiling for the camera, an all to familiar glint in them. His smile made you sick to your stomach, made it churn in the worst of ways. It was doing back flips as he stalked across the lawn towards you until his sturdy frame was against yours. He leaned down, lips brushing beside your ear to whisper one final taunt. 

“It’s a shame you’re not wearing that little skirt of yours,” Izuku breathed, eyes flitting over the cap and gown. “Would have liked to pinch those skank thighs of yours one last time. S’what you deserve.”  

And then he stood there, watching the way tears began to crowd your waterline, threatening to spill over as three years of tormentation came to what felt like an underwhelming head. Izuku tilted his head, watching the way water stained your made-up cheeks, before taking his thumb and wiping the tears from your eyes. 

“Don’t cry, doll.” He taunted, voice far too sweet for the words that fell from his lips. “I’m not near done with you yet.” 

Why was his tone so comforting? So confusing that you weren’t sure if it was dread or relief that filled your senses, ears suddenly feeling clogged with water. Your eyes darted from his to anyone on the lawn who could see you, who might be watching as Izuku pushed you to tears with only a few words, until you caught Bakugou’s gaze. 

Ah, Bakugou Katsuki, someone who’s done to Izuku what he does to you. It’s a bit of a fucked up little triangle because while Izuku was bullied by him and you are bullied by Izuku, you couldn’t help but hope that Bakugou would be the one taunting you, the one pinching your thighs. At least that’s what you told yourself. Maybe he’d help you, after all, he was probably the only person who’d believe you in the first place. 

So once Izuku had wiped your tears with a condescending thumb and left to go partake of other party activities, you pulled Katsuki aside by the shoulder, fingers digging into the meat of his bicep. 

“What in th- you?! The fuck are you doing?” Bakugou asked, eyebrows furrowed in the permanent scowl that he wore so frequently. 

“Sh, look please just, hear me out.” You spoke, voice hushed as your eyes shifted around. You had the feeling that if Izu saw you with him, you’d be in for it. “I just- I really need help.” 

Bakugou was about to scoff, was about to roll his eyes and walk away until he saw the redness under your eyes that the makeup couldn’t hide. The way you sniffled slightly as you asked and the way you looked to the floor. He’d never seen you like this, almost broken. It was something he’d seen often in Izuku, but something about seeing you like this made him ache. 

“What?” He responded, trying not to seem too invested. 

“It’s Midoriya.” Your voice grew quiet, almost in shame as you spoke the formal version of his name. 

“And?” Bakugou was impatient. He cared about you but not enough to sit here for five minutes while you stuttered. “Spit it out.” 

“He- he won’t leave me alone.” The words tumble from your lips so fast and before you know it, your hands are balled into fists on his chest, the material of his gown scrunched inside them in a plea. “He’s a nightmare, he pinches me and says the most awful shit to me. I- I mean, the inside of my legs and thighs are littered with bruises and n-no one believes me.” 

“Midoriya? As in, ‘shitty deku’ Midoriya?” Bakugou takes a step back in slight shock. 

“Yes!” You shout, far louder than you intended, pulling him closer slightly as you hush your tone in a whisper. “What the fuck am I supposed to do?” 

He nudged you off of him, brushing off his gown. Bakugou would be lying if he said it didn’t make his blood boil. Sure, him and Midoriya had buried the hatchet a long time ago but he still wanted dirt on the guy, plus he thought it was a coward move for him to bully someone as pretty as you. Though after seeing the way your eyes get wide in fear, he can’t say that it wasn’t incredibly tempting. There was something enticing about how you looked when you begged, no doubt Izuku saw it too. 

“You’re too sensitive.” He scoffed, meeting you gaze and watching the way your expression fell. “What you do is graduate and forget about that shitty extra. There’s really nothing else to it.”

You reached for him again out of habit this time, like if he turned around now you’d really be thrown to the wolves. 

“N-no, Bakugou, please.” You plead again, tears once again gathering in the corners of your eyes. “I-I can’t. I just need help.” 

Oh, he gets it now. 

He sees what makes you so appealing, what makes it so easy to walk all over you. You looked pretty when you cried. So he leaned in, his scowl turning into a smirk before speaking again. 

“No.” Bakugou’s smirk turned into an outright grin, eyes crinkling at the corners before he stood back up. “I graduated. Shitty Deku is your problem, not mine. Deal with it yourself. Just stop talking to him or whatever.” 

And with a wave of his hand he was off, walking towards his group of friends. Well, there goes your life line, the one person who actually believed that Izuku was tormenting you wouldn’t even lend you a helping hand. You supposed it was too much to hope though, and he was right, you could forget… stop talking to him. Why did the idea of that suck almost as much as staying under this thumb? 

“____!” Bunette locks bounced as your friend came towards you, hand outstretched in a wave before she pulled you into a hug. “We’re all going to Midoriya’s place to celebrate graduating, come with?” 

You liked Uraraka. Well, you actually liked all of Izuku’s friends. They were sweet and honestly none-the-wiser to Izuku’s torments and taunts. She wore the kindest smile, eyes bright with the excitement of finally starting her adult life. 

You glanced at the rest of them, eyes flitting around friendly faces until your gaze met Izuku’s. He looked upset, eyebrows furrowed slightly and eyes cold as he stood there. They all agreed, urging you to go before Izuku spoke up, smiling gently at you over the top of Uraraka’s head. 

“You should come. We’ll miss you if you don’t.” The rest of the group nods their agreement, but it wasn’t them that pulled the small okay from your lips. It was Izuku, the way his eyes had a threatening glint to them as he spoke, a smile creeping into them in the most unsettling of ways. Your stomach was turning again, twisting over and over because something about the way Izuku looked at you made you squirm. 

“Yay! Okay, we’re all gonna meet there after!” She smiled, taking your hands in hers and giving a small squeal. “It’s gonna be so fun!” 

And with that she was bouncing off with Asui in the direction of Kaminari and Kirishima. 

Izuku stayed behind, walking slower than his friends so he could bend down to speak to you. You could feel his breath against your neck as he spoke, words sending shivers down your spine. Despite the way your heart hammered against your rib cage, you tilted your head to hear him better. 

“You better be there, doll.” He muttered. “It’ll be worse for you if you’re not. Be a good girl for once, yeah?” 

He sounded more upset than usual, hand coming up to squeeze your shoulder hard enough to make you flinch, and when you looked up to meet his eyes, he didn’t wear his standard grin. Izuku looked angry, furious even. It made your skin crawl, made heat creep up your neck and onto your cheeks so furiously that you found it hard to see through. 

All you could do was nod, fighting the pout that tried so hard to paint your face. You squeezed your thighs together instinctively at the phrase. He never praised you, not even once. Hearing the words “good girl” drip from his lips so angrily made them fly shamefully south. He gave a small laugh before walking off. It was almost like he knew, leaving you to rub at your sore shoulder. 

---

Why were you here? You could have just not come and then you never would have had to see Izuku again, never would have had to deal with him until one day in the future when you’re too successful a hero to pinch. Still, you wouldn’t admit it to yourself or anyone else, but you might miss him. The teasing was a nightmare but it was attention, something that reminded you that at least Izuku still saw you. 

He couldn’t be ignoring you if he was calling you a slut. 

You arrived after everyone and Izuku opened the door for you with a jeering grin before stepping aside to let you in, pinching at your thigh again. He noticed immediately that you wore a skirt and he didn’t have to wonder why. It was an invitation for him, of course. 

You’d actually never been to Izuku’s house, so sitting in his living room eating snacks and drinking was unusual to say the least. It was surprising because beyond pinching you in the doorway, Izuku was being oddly kind. 

He sat next to you, his thigh pressed against yours, but he didn’t try anything. Didn’t whisper in your ear or grab at the fat on your side. You couldn’t help but ask yourself why. Even as the latter half of the day droned on, you were on edge despite being treated, finally, like one of the group. What did you do wrong? Was he no longer interested in you? Most importantly though, why were you upset that he wasn’t pushing your buttons? 

The end of the day came quickly, dark settling over the house while everyone gathered their things to leave. You’d all walk home together, leaving Izuku alone in his house. He smiled as everyone waved goodbye, bittersweet tears in his eyes as his final high school hang out came to a close. He cried at the ceremony while delivering his speech and then again at his house while Uraraka babbled on about her appreciation of UA. You can’t say you felt the same. 

“Not ____.” He said as you slipped on your shoes, placing a hand on your shoulder. “I’ll walk her home since she lives in the opposite direction. Plus, I gotta give her something.” 

Izuku smiles at his friends, who all nod their understanding. They wouldn’t suspect that he’d do anything wrong, that he’d be keeping you behind to maybe, finally, torment you. What a fucked up way of thinking. The door to his house clicked shut and your blood ran far colder than you thought it would as he approached you. 

“What’s wrong, doll?” He taunted, a fake pout adorning his features. “Thought I’d let you off easy? After today?” 

Izuku raised an eyebrow before rolling his eyes at the realization that you don’t know what he’s talking about. 

“Wow, you really are a slut aren’t you? Clinging to Bakugou so shamelessly today?” He scowled looked over you. 

Your eyes widened, lips parting as you remembered grabbing at Bakugou’s shirt, pulling him towards you earlier that day in a plea for help. 

“Did you think he would help you?” He sneered. “Bakugou’s just like me. He doesn’t care about a whore like you. Did you think that if you pushed against him like that he’d cave? Fold because your perfect body was flush on him?”

Izuku took your face between his pointer and thumb, spitting venom at you, waiting for you to respond. His compliment flew over your head. 

“N-no.” Yes. “I swear Izuku… I- I didn’t-” 

“You- you- you didn’t what?” Izuku responded, mocking your miserable stutter. “You’re my toy. Pisses me off when you let other people play with you.” 

And then he’s dragging you towards his room, pulling you into the cramped space and closing the door behind him. He’s muttering like he usually does, pushing you onto his bed so you’re sitting on the edge. 

Why were you so relieved right now? Why was your cunt already sticky with arousal? Why did every single word he was saying to you go straight south? You take your bottom lip between your teeth trying to find a way to shake your head in protest— to get up and leave— but the movement just wouldn’t come. Instead, you hang your head, eyebrows pulled up and cheeks flushed with heat as he stares you down. 

“Why are you doing this?” Your voice is barely a whisper, hardly audible over the sound of his frustrated breathing and your own rampant heart beat. “I’ve never done anything to you.” 

Izuku scoffed this time, stepping forward and taking your face in his hands again. 

“Haven’t done anything?” His words are venomous and his face is inches from yours, hot breath fanning across your cheeks. Were his hands always this big? “Dressing like that and saying you ‘haven’t done anything’?” 

His eyes flit down to the fat of your thighs, free hand groping the flesh hungrily, hard enough that it had you sucking in a sharp breath. Izuku couldn’t take it anymore, squeezing your cheeks and pressing his lips to yours in an aggressive kiss. 

Truth was, you drove Izuku batshit crazy. Right from the moment he saw you he could hardly contain himself, prancing around in that tiny fucking skirt with an ass like that. Daring to act so innocent when he was gripping the edge of his desk to keep from pouncing on you as you introduced yourself to him, as you hung all over his middle school bully, or as you flashed your hot pink panties while in class. 

To him, you were asking for it and the way you played dumb only made his blood boil further. Izuku was a nice boy, always had been, but the day that he made you cry, telling you that you kind of looked like a slut in your skirt, was the day he knew that he’d have way too much fun with you. 

Your eyes got so big, welled up so quickly with tears that he knew were caused by him. It made him proud, made his chest swell at how quickly he could completely ruin your day. This must be how Bakugou felt, to some degree, except chances are that he wasn’t thinking about what your puffy, swollen lips might look like when you’re choking on his cock. 

He’d been thinking about it since he met you. Pushing you further and further because you were just so fucking cute when you cried and if he couldn’t consume your thoughts because you like him, then he’d have to settle for consuming them because you’re afraid of him. 

You grunted against him, eyes going wide as his lips crashed into yours. You were spinning, heart pounding as his tongue dipped into your mouth hungrily. He pulled away from you quickly. 

“Drive me fuckin’ crazy, looking like that.” Izuku seethed. “If you’re gonna play clueless, y’might as well make use of yourself. S’what you deserve.” 

And without asking he pushed you from the bed and onto your knees in front of him. You knew where it was going, knew that Izuku wasn’t going to let up because this boundary was being crossed. Still, you shamefully rubbed your thighs together, blinking up at him in confusion and arousal. 

“Such a whore.” He said, freeing his cock from his pants and letting it slap against his stomach. Izuku relished in the way your eyes widened, in the way you unconsciously licked your lips. And then he’s tapping the side of your mouth with his cock, head tilted back in a taunt as he watches the way your eyes brim with premature tears. He’d show you real crying. 

“Suck it.” A simple command, but one that had you shivering. He kept his hand on your shoulder while his fingers dug into it with a force that was all too familiar. is cock throbbed in his hands as you sniffled and parted those pretty, glossed lips. 

Izuku didn’t wait, no, he couldn’t wait, pushing his full length to the back of your throat and beyond, groaning when it entered the tight, wet space beyond your mouth. His head fell back and his mouth fell open at the way you choked on him. Tears forced their way out of your eyes and down your cheeks as he began fucking your mouth. 

“Y-you’re a real crybaby, huh?” He cooed, a lazy half-smirk gracing his face. “You did this to yourself. Such– a fucking– tease.” 

He accentuated his words with harsh thrusts into your throat, drool pooling in your mouth and dribbling down his cock to his balls. It ran down your chin, mingling with tears as he continued to fuck your throat. 

Izuku was big, far bigger than you expected him to be. He completely filled your throat, stretching your unprepared mouth open. You could feel the sides of your mouth pulling at his size, lips cracking as you struggled to take all of him with each of his thrusts. Still, when you looked up at him through big teary eyes, knees growing sore from the way his fist held you to the floor, other hand pulling you against his cock, your cunt grew wet with arousal. 

He pulled you off him by your hair, watching the way you gasped and sputtered and sobbed. He loved the scratch in your throat as you coughed and he picked you up by the arm and crawled between your legs. 

“Wearing such a tiny skirt to my house.” He spit. “You knew what you were doing, lookin’ like that with your ass out and shit.” 

Izuku’s eyes scanned over you hungrily, like he’s been waiting to get you here for so long. Fuck, he still looked big, hovering over you and supporting his entire weight on one of his arms as his other hand wandered down. He flipped up the fabric of your skirt, admiring the way you flinched as his hand ran up your inner thigh. 

His hands ran over your figure, squeezing at the fat of your stomach, thighs, and chest. Izuku has been dying to get a piece of you since you met, since he first laid eyes on that frustratingly sexy figure of yours that led him to spiral to this moment. His hands dipped back to your inner thigh, ensuring that your skirt was out of the way, though it was so small already that it proved no obstacle at all. 

His breathing grew heavy, hand gently gliding along the supple flesh that he’s pinched so many times, marks from your final day of classes still fading. Izuku’s eyebrows were furrowed together as his hands found your panties, touching you over the fabric that was now soaked through. His eyes snapped to you so fast as he pulled the fabric aside with calloused fingers, wasting no time dipping his fingers into your soaking folds. 

“You fucking pervert.” He sneered, glancing down to show you just how wet you’d gotten, all for him. “You like it when I’m mean to you? So fucking dirty.” 

Izuku rubbed a swift circle around your clit and you brought your arm up to hide your face, biting into your forearm to muffle the sounds. You shook your head, squeaking out a no as his fingers curled up into you. 

“You sure about that? You’re dripping.” Izuku grunted, curling his fingers with his entire forearm and hearing a moan from you. “See? Fucking slut, giving me those eyes, like a lost puppy.” 

It was undeniable how you clenched around him and he let out a curt laugh of disbelief. 

“Oh… you like that name, don’t you, puppy?” He dipped down to bite at your neck, humming into the skin. 

You squirm beneath him but he has you caged in under, your legs unable to move around. Your stomach still turned in fear of him, but that fear was mixing with the intense pleasure building in your core. Even his fingers were a stretch and you could feel his thick cock hitting your abdomen with each aggressive curl, your mind consumed with just how good it would feel for him to break you open. After all, he’s chipped away at almost every ounce of self respect you had. In fact, he practically already owned you mentally, now he was just claiming what he should rightfully own physically. 

“I hate girls like you.” He spat, fingers picking up their pace as you were sent barrelling towards your high. “Acting like you don’t know what you’re doing to me. So fucking stupid. But look at you now— Your cunt is practically drooling on me— pathetic.” 

You were close, hot with arousal as he lifted your arm from your face. 

“Getting close huh? I can feel your whore cunt clenching. Y’wanna cum?” He grinned widely through furrowed brows. 

Your eyes were glossed over, tears spilling onto your cheeks and for a moment Izuku almost felt bad for you. Still though, you were just too fun to fuck with, too fun to absolutely ruin. You looked prettier than he could have imagined right now; face sticky with tears of arousal, embarrassment, and fear. Izuku was a nice boy, he really was, except when it came to you because now he just couldn’t stop himself from ruining your cunt. 

You were close, impossibly close as you bit your lip in an attempt to muffle the whiney yes that breached your lips. It was involuntarily, almost a survival response as his fingers continued making that delicious squelching sound. Those years of torment were beginning to twist. You were beginning to convince yourself that no, it wasn’t so bad, it’s okay to want to cream on his fingers and be his good girl. 

So you nodded, dew-filled eyes stricken with fear meeting his predatory ones in a confirmation. He was building you up so well, your stomach turning over and over, the knot tightening and set to break. And then he pulled his fingers from you as you clenched around nothing, a blinding orgasm ripped from you all by his fingers. Your back arched up off the bed and pathetic whines left your lips. 

“You’ll have to beg for it.” He smirked, sitting back on his knees, discarding your panties with a hard tug and running the head of his cock through your slick while you whimper. “Tell me you like it. C’mon. I’ll let you cum on my cock if you do.” 

Right now you were certain you’d do anything if it meant you were allowed to cream over him, so you parted your lips, hiccuping through broken sobs. 

“P-please Izu, need to cum.” Your voice was low and quiet. 

Izuku pushed the head of his cock against your entrance, glowering down at you as he pushed the fabric of your shirt up over those perfect tits that he couldn’t get enough of. He sucked in a sharp breath, facade falling for a moment until he brought his eyes back to yours. 

“You like it when I’m mean, huh? Lemme hear you say it.” Izuku gave a cruel smile, eyes darkened with lust. 

“Yes! Yes, I like it.” You shout, hand coming up to grab his arm, speaking through desperate tears. “Please fuck me, please Izu.” 

Izuku bottomed out in one fell swoop, hearing all he needed as he throws his head back, a groan of fucking pathetic falling lazily from his lips. He rolled his head across his shoulders, starting to move in and out of you, stretching your cunt open with each push and pull. 

“So fucking tight. You a virgin?” His tongue swiped at his teeth as he relished in the stretch and the way pain wet your cheeks. 

God, he fucking hated you. Hated every part of you. He hated the way your lips looked so good around him, the way your thighs squeezed so nicely around his waist, the way your tears only egged him on. It all made him want to hurt you. You brought out the worst in him. You were too fucking tempting, too easy. 

You weren’t a virgin but the stretch of his cock made you feel like one. God, you could feel him in your throat as you gripped pathetically at his biceps, a plea to get him to slow down. Izuku wouldn’t listen though, pounding into your gummy walls mercilessly. 

“Not gonna answer?” He laughed, low and threatening before folding your knees to your chest. “Tells me all I need to know. How many men have fucked this cunt of yours, huh? Bet it’s more than I can count on one hand.” 

Izuku brought his hand up to your face once more, squeezing your plump cheeks together. 

“Don’t worry, puppy. Gonna make it so you can’t take anyone else.” He spits in your mouth, forcing it closed. “Fuckin’ mine now, yeah? My little whore, always have been, right?”

You screw your eyes shut, swallowing sloppily as spit drips down your chin and tears streak from your eyes. Where did he learn to speak like this? 

“Say it.” 

You’re close again, so full of him, so desperate for him to give you what you want. You can’t resist him, so you might as well submit. Maybe it will make everything easier because you were finding it harder to pretend that you didn’t like it now. 

“Yours, m’yours.” You choke out, hand flying to his large one to move it over your throat. “Belong only to you.” 

Izuku squeezed the sides of your neck with startling force. It’s almost hateful in how strong it was but it made you whine out against him, voice raking against vocal chords that he forced closed. 

“Slut. S-such a slut.” He stuttered as you clenched around him, hitting your high with a roll of your hips and a pathetic whimper. “C’mon, gimme it, puppy.” 

Oh god, the pay off was unbelievable. The way you whined his name was better than any sob he pulled from you to date.You were so helpless,your body wracking with waves of pleasure and your pussy clamping down around him. This is what he saw in you the first time he made you cry— this expression. He knew you could make it, eyes big and wide, filled with tears and your mouth open in a deep moan. Fuck, he loved it. 

“God, so tight. Good puppy, good fucking puppy.” He fucked into you faster, chasing his own high now as he assaulted your overstimulated cunt. 

Your head spun, no longer preoccupied with the taunting or the tormenting. You were stupid on his cock, his good little puppy, like you were meant to be. You should have given in earlier, should have let him shove his dick down your throat sooner because even though you were struggling to get off his fat cock, you couldn’t, and you loved every single second of it. Izuku was only mean to you, only mean to his puppy. 

You’re so overstimulated, barreling towards another orgasm and now all you can think about is how bad you want him to fill you up. 

“C-cum inside.” You managed to choke out between pathetic sobs and whimpers. You’re crying for it, begging. “Please cum inside of me.” 

Izuku let out a low chuckle before bottoming out one final time, shoving his thick fingers down your throat and filling you up. When Izuku came, he came a lot. It flooded your cunt before leaking out the sides where he had you split open. Izuku couldn’t hide his true nature for long, his thighs beginning to quiver and a low groan becoming a high pitched whine as he emptied his balls inside of you like he’d been wanting to for so long. 

He stayed there for a moment before pulling out of you and crouching down to watch the way he spilled out of you, admiring your ruined pussy and body. You’re stretched out from him, tears staining your cheeks and cunt gaping from his cock.

And then he’s biting at your thighs, marking up the inside of your leg as you can barely manage to push out a squeal. He’s leaving the marks he’s always wanted to. Those pinches on the inside of your leg were a stand in for the ones he’d create with his teeth. He nipped at the sensitive skin before dipping his tongue into your folds to collect the mixture of him and you in his mouth. 

Izuku watched the way you twitched as he cleaned you up, admiring the way your legs flinched whenever he ran his tongue over your sensitive clit. He’s much gentler now but his eyes still frightened you when he came up from between your legs to spit the mixture of cum and arousal back into your slightly parted mouth, ordering you to swallow puppy. 

When you finally do— too tired and fucked out to think about protesting, he smiles— standing up off the bed and buttoning his pants with a heaving sigh.

Izuku turned back to your form on the bed, watching the way your chest heaved and the way your pleated skirt crowded at your hips, ruined cunt on display and shirt pushed up over your bitten up breasts. He made a mental note to remember to take your clothes off next time.

tags: @namrekcaivel , @mikaberries , @cleardamage , @veroyktv , @honeyzawa , @erenstellar , @female-titan , @kiyoobi , @pancakesv , @jean-prettyboy-kirschtein , @lazyezstudy , @jeanbabygirl , @peachysimp , @kirsteiiins , @babybottlepop96 , @ayannamika , @fiaficsxo , @chittaphon96​ 

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[thewordswewrite]

Lonely Is Our Lives

Chapter 4 - Poison

Pairing | Billy Hargrove x Fem!Reader

!!VERY IMPORTANT A/N!! | I want to preface this by saying I DO NOT condone Billy’s actions throughout the series. I DO NOT condone his violence or abuse, ESPECIALLY against Lucas but also including Max and the others. At the time season two came out in 2017, nearly FIVE years ago at the time I'm writing this, I was very angry and frustrated at the world, resentful of a younger sibling, and disconnected from the people around me so I kind of latched onto Billy as a character and what he represented. I absolutely DID NOT understand what his actions against Lucas truly meant and I DID NOT register it as the racism it was. Knowing what I know now I've decided to write a fic where Billy is able to let go of some of his anger and have someone there to check him and his actions in order to set him on a better path. I wrote this for me as a bit of a redemption fic for both of us.

Playlist | Link | Chapter Four: Songs 13-16

Story Summary | One fateful 1983 night you narrowly escape death on Steve Harrington’s property while Barbara Holland is presumed dead. Left jaded and angry, you carry on towards your senior year in a haze of sex, drugs, and alcohol just to get through the day. But, when Billy Hargrove moves to Hawkins, Indiana during the fall of 1984 things get worse before they get better.

Chapter Summary | You start feeling uneasy in your agreement with Billy and begin pulling away. At school, you make progress with Nancy but your good mood is quickly ruined. You try to avoid Billy but he shows up at your job and the two of you have an interesting night.

Story Warnings | explicit language, angst, abusive parents, smut 18+ minors DNI, heavy drug and alcohol usage, alcohol/drug abuse, implied physical abuse, injuries,

W/C | 4.2k

Taglist | @youcantbesirius​  @xronniexo​  @zzokks  @marihoneywk @darlingjae @lem0ns7

A/N | Sorry I took a long time off guys I moved across the country for college and I have been trying to get into a routine so I haven't had much time to write. expect the final chapter a little later than next week but probably not months later lol we’ll see..... anyway thanks so much for sticking around though hope you enjoy!! -Smoe

Donations | Link

|Masterlist|  |Chapter One|  |Chapter Two|  |Chapter Three|  |Chapter Five|

You suppressed a cough as you took a, longer than necessary, drag from the blunt before passing it to Billy. It’d been about two weeks since you started hooking up and in that time Billy took to lingering after sex. You’d been hesitant at first to let him stay; you had a strict no-cuddling policy in place for all your flings and didn’t intend on breaking that for Billy. Billy, though, began to stay in bed longer and longer before getting dressed and it had escalated to lying around and smoking, or drinking, or talking. Billy claimed it was because he was tired from ‘fucking you into the mattress for an hour’ but you guessed he might just like the peaceful company. He was always yelling around his sister and her right back so you could imagine the volume at which his house operated and couldn't say you blamed him.

As you laid against Billy’s shoulder, his arm securely wrapped around your waist, you felt a heavy weight settle in your stomach; the way he had begun to pull you to his side, the feel of your combined heat and the post-sex smell lingering in the air. The casual closeness of it all had you on edge. It needled in the back of your mind though that maybe he stayed for you, which scared you far more, suddenly wishing he’d just gone home.

“What’s up?” Billy suddenly broke the silence and your easy mood curdled. He didn’t sound concerned necessarily but the interest was there.

You feigned ignorance, scrunching your eyes closed. “I don’t know what you mean.”

“You just seem…” He gestured with the arm you were laying on, jostling you. “Off.”

He was right of course but you didn’t want him to know that. An honest explanation would either wind up with him thinking you were crazy or worse: he’d believe you and think he owed you honesty as well. The thought had you caught between wanting him to tell you everything going on in his life and wishing you didn’t know his name.

You took the blunt back from him, hastily shoving it between your lips and with a shaky exhale rubbed your forehead. Half-truth it was. “It's just–there's an anniversary coming up and it’s got me wired.”

You felt him nod and his chest puffed up before he heaved out through his nose. “I get it,” He plucked the remainder of the weed from your fingertips and finished it off before speaking again. “When my mom left…” Oh God. “It’s fucked and I get fucked in the head about it.”

Your heart is pounding against your ribcage. He thought you were talking about your mom. You played it safe and still he gave you sincerity. Your throat was closing up quick and you had to respond. “Yeah,” you rasped, words thick and sticky in your mouth. “It’s fucked.”

Your shoulder was throbbing, the ache spreading up to your head and you quickly broke out in a sweat. The desire to get away was overwhelming and you pulled yourself from Billy. His fingers stayed lazily attached to you, as if second nature, until you were physically too far away for him to reach you. The final brush of his fingers burned against your skin as you sat on the edge of the bed, your head resting in your hands. You glanced at him over your shoulder, desperate to find him uninterested in you, but were met with dark eyes instead. It unnerved you that he wasn't saying anything, just watching and waiting. Patient. This is too much.

“I need a shower.” You took a steadying breath and stood up. You didn’t give him time to respond as you left the room and locked the bathroom door behind you. 

You shed your shirt and climbed into the steaming water. The shirt was just another thing he didn’t question you about after that first time; just another thing that Billy Hargrove did that made you want to cry. Things were getting too close, too real. Billy was just supposed to be a distraction and you supposed it worked because now he was all you could think about. 

You felt hysterical, you thought you never talked about anything serious but now you realized you knew his favorite color was blue, deep like his Camaro, and that although he didn’t really listen to anything other than hard rock he didn’t really mind the records you put on when he came over. He often told you how he thought Max was ‘such an annoying shitbird,’ but you heard how as he talked his voice grew more fond than irritated. You knew things about him but you’d never divulged much to him before today and it changed things, you felt the tactile shift yet Billy seemed unfazed.

Your fingers rubbed over the grooved ridges of your scar and you shuddered. Memories of the Upside Down mixed with your unease towards Billy made you nauseous. You wracked your brain trying to think how you had let him this close in just two weeks? You stood in the water for longer than you knew, the hot water loosening the physical tension in your body but your mind still raced.

You only turned off the shower when you noticed you’d begun to shiver, the water having gone cold, and you grabbed your towel, wrapping it around yourself. In the silence of the house you listened closely to see if you could hear any indication of Billy’s presence and when you couldn’t you opened the bathroom door and peeked through, eyeing your bed from the hallway to see that it was empty. Relieved, you walked to your room and quickly got dressed.

As you laid in bed staring up at your ceiling, you thought the stress would dissipate but, once again, you were wrong. It wasn’t the type of anxiety that buzzed around you and had your leg shaking a mile a minute, it was the inescapable type that coated your insides, making it all too easy to lose yourself in between sparse breaths. You curled in on yourself, the feeling weighing you down like it was its own source of gravity, pulling you in. Your eyes watered but the tears refused to spill over so instead, you squeezed them tighter and pushed the feeling down.

You needed to sleep, you had school in the morning.

~ ~ ~

The day had been slow going. Your realization of just how entangled your life had become with Billy’s was all that more startling when that morning you noticed yourself unconsciously taking  steps towards Billy’s car. Recently you rarely spent those early hours without him; you’d taken up the habit of sitting with Billy in his car and smoking until first bell but today you searched the parking lot for Steve. You spotted him leaned up against Jonathan Byers car, Nancy between the two boys and sneered. You felt a stab of betrayal towards Steve but you’d been so wrapped up with Billy, you didn’t even notice you only saw your best friend at lunch. Steve moved on from Nancy’s harsh words, and you hadn't even given yourself a chance to.

Throughout the day, your classes dragged and you could barely keep your eyes open because of your restlessness the night before. You confronted Steve about Nancy during lunch and he said he’d simply forgiven her.

“I just don’t understand how you can do that after what she said to us,” You seethed.

Steve sighed and ran a hand down his face. “I love Nancy. She’s important to me,” Steve raised his eyebrows accusingly, “And I don’t want to throw that away just because she’s not in love with me.”

Your eyes rolled so hard it nearly gave you a headache. “I can’t believe you’re using my own words against me.” You pushed your fries around your tray and looked back at Steve.

Steve’s voice dropped a bit and his eyes were sad. “Well you’ve been M.I.A. and I missed my friends.”

You’d apologized and promised to go to his basketball game that Friday and hang out afterward. You didn’t mean to spend all your time with Billy, in fact, you hadn’t even realized you were until the night before, when it hit you all at once and you panicked. Avoidance was something you specialized in, most of the people in your life though, did not.

“I’m sorry!“ A feminine voice assaulted you, pulling you out of your own head. You jumped and looked to see Nancy standing behind your locker door. You just stared blankly at her and continued to rifle through your locker so you could leave. “I was really drunk and I kept thinking about…” She trailed off.

“Steve forgave you, right?” You deadpanned, and slammed your locker closed.

Nancy’s eyebrows furrowed exactly like they always did when she was confused and the way the space between her eyebrows creased was so startlingly familiar it made you ache with longing. You never had many girl friends growing up and even those you did before, you could never say you held too close to your heart but something about Nancy hurt. She cared so deeply about all the people in her life and was quite literally willing to fight monsters for them, for you.

“He did.” She was twisting her fingers together anxiously. “But-”

“Then fine, I forgive you. Happy?” You moved to sidestep her but Nancy blocked your path. Her long skirt swished around her and her newly permed hair shone in the light. She seemed stronger and more confident than before you knew her as ‘Nance’ but the sadness you both shared echoed within her.

“No, I’m not. I’m sorry. I didn’t mean what I said, I know you’re trying to get better and what I said wasn’t fair.” Her eyes sparkled with unshed tears and she strained against the emotion within her.

You crossed your arms over your chest and glanced  away, her pleading starting to get to you. “You were really shitty for that.”

Nancy smiled softly and with regret, “I was.”

She looked into your eyes the way only she could and there wasn’t anything you could do but relent. You heaved a sigh and grabbed her shoulder to pull her into a hug. Her hair smelled eerily similar to Steve’s and you smiled into her shoulder at the idea of Steve giving Nancy hair advice. The two of them were your weakness, they were closer to family than anything else and you missed that.

“You’re such a messy drunk, Wheeler.” Nancy laughed and squeezed you harder. 

When you pulled back, you saw Jonathan beginning to walk up to the two of you. Steve and Nancy had only been broken up for maybe a week so the fondness you found in the Byers boy’s eyes caught you off guard. You released Nancy from your hold and smiled tightly at the boy. Nancy turned and when her eyes caught his they softened, your chest tightened. They shared a silent exchange before your friend finally remembered you were there.

Jonathan stepped forward until Nancy was resting her back against him. No possessive gestures or tight arm around her shoulder but anyone who looked at them could tell they were together. They fit well, all easy touches and quiet words. 

“Are you going to Steve’s game on Friday?” Jonathan asked.

“Yeah,” You nodded mildly confused. “Getting food after too.”

“Awesome, we’ll save you a spot,” Nancy smiled and leaned off of her boyfriend. She took his hand and began to lead him away. “See you later!”

You simply put a hand up in goodbye then finished getting your things from your locker. 

You were getting ready to swing your backpack over your shoulder when you felt the sting of a slap land on your butt followed by a bruising grab. 

“Lookin’ good babe!” You whipped around to see Tommy Hagan with his arm wrapped around Carol, one of his goonie friends following in his wake. Tommy shook his head apologetically and pointed to his friend who held his hands up in surrender, a dopey smile on his face.

You took a step towards him, ready to return the assault when someone shoved after you. You watched as Billy stalked up to the boy and shoved him full strength to the ground, quickly climbing on top of him. “Who the fuck do you think you are?” Billy had the boy’s hoodie twisted in his grip. “You think you can touch my girl like that?” There was spit flying from his mouth as he yelled at the boy below him.

You watched, almost in horror, at the display in front of you. Your arrangement wasn’t supposed to mean anything and now Billy had told anyone and everyone who was listening you were ‘his.’ You wanted nothing more than to go up to Billy and scream in his face that you didn’t belong to anyone, let alone him, but you couldn’t. You flinched at the noise of skin connecting to skin followed by a dull crack as Billy broke the nose of the boy who had grabbed you. You began to retreat backward, bumping into people as you went and made a B-line to your car.

You figured work would help you cool off before you had to face Billy again now that he’d fucked you over. You didn’t date. You weren’t dating. He had no right to act like that…jealous. Billy Hargrove had another thing coming if he thought you were ‘his.’

~ ~ ~

Work had been boring. Robin was only there for half your shift before she got off and you were stuck sitting in an empty record shop for three hours. Almost no one came in except for a few kids right after the middle school let out, but that’s when Robin was still there and you weren’t alone with your thoughts. You’d cooled off after a while but sitting there alone had riled you back up.

You were now sitting at the counter, having already reorganized the records and done stock, the dull thrum of Van Halen in the background and your head resting in your hands. You had more important things in your life to care about other than Billy Hargrove and his ego. There was something stirring in Hawkins and you had been as ignorant as everyone else, content to see nothing. Jonathan and Nancy had been doing recon work on the lab and met up with some guy named Murray to expose the experiments. Hell, even Steve kept busy taking care of the kids but you had been so wrapped up in Billy you hadn’t seen it. 

Although it bothered you that you were out of the loop, you were also a little relieved you could forget about the Upside Down for a bit and pretend you were just a dumb high schooler. No matter how much you didn’t want to admit it, it had been relaxing to lie around with Billy after you fucked, or at least until your shoulder throbbed and you were brought back to reality. You sighed heavily at the memory of Billy’s head between your thighs and dropped your head down onto the counter. In desperation, you looked behind you at the mounted clock and closed your eyes in relief, just fifteen more minutes.

You quickly began your closing routine: turning off neon signs, stopping the music playing over the speakers, and doing one final sweep of the shop before you were putting on your jacket and locking the door behind you. You did a quick sweep of the parking lot and froze when you saw that goddamn blue Camaro parked right next to your car. Your shoulders dropped and you dragged your feet as you walked to your driver’s side door. Billy didn’t even give you the chance to unlock the door before he stepped out of his car and leaned against the hood.

“Come with me,” He wasn’t even looking at you, more occupied with lighting his cigarette than bothering to spare you a glance.

“I’m tired, Billy.” You sluggishly rubbed your eye. “And I can’t just leave my car here.”

Billy stretched his neck, “C’mon, I’ll drive you back when we’re done.”

You shook your head incredulously. “I’m not fucking you tonight!”

Billy’s eyes drew together and he finally looked at you. “That’s not-,”

“You know you have some nerve showing up at my job and demanding sex, especially after that shit you pulled today!” As he stared at you, you noticed that his lip was split and your anger softened.

“Just come with me,” By all accounts to anyone else Billy would sound almost demanding but to you, he sounded…pathetic. “I’ll bring you back, I promise.”

You examined him carefully, searching his face for anything that would put you off and when you found nothing, finally conceded. “Fine.”

You walked around your car to Billy’s and sat in the passenger seat  you’d unknowingly grown accustomed to. When Billy got in, you saw him reach for his favorite—because you knew these things now—cassette and quickly batted his hand away. 

“If I’m coming with then I get to pick,” You challenged.

Billy paused but just put both hands on the wheel and began to back you out of the parking lot. As you flipped through his tapes, you watched Billy out the side of your eye but quickly looked away when suddenly he was doing the same. You felt your cheeks flush from being caught and pulled your full focus onto the music. As you read the bands, you noticed a funny pattern.

“Ya’ know you have basically the same music taste as my buddy Eddie,” You saw Billy’s hands grip the leather of the steering wheel a bit harder and smirked, deciding to push the subject. “Yeah, he’s into all this hard rock and metal stuff,” Nail in the coffin time. “He’s even got this wicked guitar on his wall, it’s like his prized possession.”

“You’ve seen his wall?” Billy tried to ask with as much nonchalance as possible but you knew him too well by now; he was pissed.

“Well, yeah,” You fully faced the window to hide your growing delight. “I get my fix from him…same as you.”

Suddenly, Billy swerves the car off the road and onto a dirt path leading into the woods, the leather of his seat sticking to your exposed legs the only thing keeping you from nearly flying out of your seat.

“Billy, what are you-” Before you could finish your sentence, Billy was throwing his cigarette out the window and his smokey lips were on yours. Frustrated, you pushed him off of you and pressed the heels of your hand into your eyes. “What is your problem?”

“What’s your problem? You’ve been acting insane,” He exploded. “One minute you’re screaming and riding my dick the next you’re leaving and telling me to fuck off!”

“That’s all this is! You’re not my boyfriend!” You yelled back. “We agreed, just sex, nothing else. I. Don’t. Date.”

Billy closed his eyes and slammed his head back against the headrest and you decided to make your point once and for all. Your hand reached over the center consul and found its place on Billy’s thigh, causing him to suck in a quick breath and look at you.

“We agreed, sex is fine,” You raised your eyebrows in question and waited until Billy slowly nodded. “But that’s it.” Billy nodded again and your fingers moved to his belt, slowly undoing it as you watched him get antsy. The button on his jeans looked ready to pop as you palmed him through the denim and you relished in the breathy sigh the boy before you let out at your touch.

You’d previously taken for granted the way you were able to make Billy fall apart, so you wanted to draw this out as long as possible. When you finally freed him from his underwear, he was all but panting at your small touches. 

You took his length in your hand and did a few experimental pumps to gauge how needy he was and smiled when he held his breath, straining against the seat. You had only planned to jack him off but in a moment of impulsiveness, you dipped your head down and wrapped your lips around his cock. Unprepared, Billy’s hand instinctively gripped your hair, causing you to immediately release your suction and sit up.

“That’s not how this is going to work,” You narrowed your eyes and leaned as if to kiss him but stopped just a hair short of his lips. “You don’t touch me and you take what I give you, understand?” Billy’s eyes were locked on yours and he looked a bit taken aback but once again nodded. “Good boy.” 

You moved back down to his lap and Billy grabbed the headrest behind him to steady himself as you once again locked your mouth around him. You took him in painfully slow and you could feel the tension in Billy’s thigh where you had your hand perched to support yourself. When you finally had him at the back of your throat, Billy let out a groan and bucked just enough to make your eyes water. You bobbed your head a little faster and heard Billy’s breath quicken. 

You heard the tell-tale sounds of his impending orgasm and quickly let him go with a pop of your lips, making sure to stop just before he could reach his peak. He huffed out a breath and in apology, you licked up the underside of his cock until you reached the tip and planted a kiss.

Billy looked down at you helplessly. “What the fuck?”

“You didn’t think it was going to be that easy after what you pulled today did you?” You began stroking his length again. “I want you to admit I don’t belong to you, then I’ll let you finish.”

For anyone else, this would have been a no-brainer deal but you knew Billy’s pride. His eyes hardened and he shook his head. “I’m not going to beg.”

You smirked. “We’ll see.”

It was a vicious cycle, watching him so close to coming undone and waiting for him to say the words only to have to stop yourself. You knew he was becoming aggravated but truly you didn’t know how long he could hold this up, so you let out a tentative moan to switch things up.

Almost immediately Billy’s mouth fell open and you could hear soft pleads but not the words you wanted from him. The moans continued to spill from your mouth and reverberate around the car and Billy became louder in his begging.

“P-please,” He choked and slapped a hand over his mouth.

You took him from your mouth and continued pumping. “You know what you have to say,” You smirked to yourself and replaced your hand for your mouth.

You could feel him about to cum and he finally began to speak. “You don't belong-”

The sound of knocking on the window and a light shining through into your eyes startled you both from your fog of pleasure. When you got up, you saw the unmistakable look of disappointment on Chief Hopper’s face. Billy’s face on the other hand was stark white, a cold sweat having broken across his forehead. He was trying to quickly shove himself back into his pants but his hands shook, making you impatient. You rolled your eyes and reached over his lap to roll down the window.

“What’s up, Hop?” You smiled gruffly, past the point of being embarrassed by this man who you fought side by side with.

“C’mon kid, you know you can’t do things like this,” He sighed, rubbing his forehead.

“Sorry Chief, you know how it is,” Your body felt heavy now that the adrenaline of the situation wore off and you yawned. You dared a glance at Billy who’d been uncharacteristically quiet and saw him staring at his lap.

“Look, son,” Hopper turned his flashlight to Billy. “You follow me out of here and I won’t call any parents tonight. Sound good?”

“Yes, sir.” Billy’s voice was horse and he made no attempts to move.

“You’re lucky you’re here with this one,” Hopper nodded at you, “If it were anyone else tonight would’ve ended very differently, Hargrove.”

“Yes, sir.”

Hopper sent you a pointed look and you watched as he walked back to his cruiser. Billy sagged in relief as soon as the two of you heard the slam of Hopper’s door closing and stuttered out a shaky breath.

“What a mood killer,” You joked trying to ease the tension.

“That can’t happen again,” Billy declared in an even voice as he started the car.

You quirked a brow and shrugged, “It’s Hopper, he’s not gonna bag us for anything. Trust me we go way-”

Billy slammed his hand on the dash. “That can’t happen again.”

“Fine then,” You held your hands up in surrender. “Sorry, about the blue balls though, California. Maybe next time.” You smiled sardonically at Billy’s seriousness undercut by his still bulging pants. “Now, take me back to my car.”