#anyways please validate me i'm dying over here

[merp-blerp]

Part 2 of A Gaylor interpretation of "The Prophecy"

I had more Thoughts��� that I initially left out for length, but I'd like to elaborate in sections. Special thanks to @mamataylovesrubbi for being so friendly. This community is so lovely.

TW: Brief talk of self-destructive behavior and suicide near the end.

Part 1 here

Overblown Analysis Under the Cut ↓

Artemis/Diana

Some things about Artemis/Diana that I left out of part one I left out were that 1) Artemis is also the goddess of the hunt and animals. I think that tidbit adds to the fable connection, as fables are often stories about animals. When it comes to the hunt, songs like WAOLOM and The Albotros possibly being about Taylor planning revenge on her closet-ers really scream huntress. Artemis can also become a deer, a somewhat surprisingly non-vicious animal for a huntress, if she pleases. "I've been the Archer / I've been the prey." I think this could portray Taylor's strengths and weaknesses. 2) Artemis is a virginal goddess, never having any male lovers in her stories. This doesn't necessarily make Artemis a sapphic goddess, even though I've seen that interpretation, but it's pretty telling that Taylor would align so closely to a goddess with that trait. 3) Artemis/Diana was also the goddess of the moon (somewhat, it's a bit complicated, but that's Greek mythology for you). Fits the themes of Midnights, with Taylor being Midnight (Rain) and her lover being Sunshine. Though that probably shouldn't be taken too literally, as Apollo, god of the sun, is Artemis's twin brother. Trust him like a brother, yeah—

2. Vocalizing

Taylor's vocalizing after "...tell me it'll be okay" reminds me vaguely of the vocalizing in "My Tears Ricochet", a song, like this album, alludes to Taylor dying.

3. "But I looked to the sky" and "I've been on my knees"

With all the talk of sky, I wonder if maybe "Bigger Than The Whole Sky" might be about failed coming outs. I don't know if this is something others thought have already (probably), but I never thought of it before. Meanwhile, the repeat of being on her knees makes me think of "Would've, Could've, Should've". I've mentioned before that I'm open to that song being actually about JM because it wouldn't surprise me if she tried dating dudes in some way early on in her career, whatever that would mean. However, I'm open to alternatives too. With my analysis of Taylor's Eve being bitten by the serpent/Devil, maybe the serpent could be the Devil from "Would've, Could've, Should've". Maybe the Devil could be The Professor from my "The Manuscript" analysis. I'm leaning toward that Devil being her old label.

4. Throttle

A throttle is several things. It can be something to give machinery fuel. It can be a verb, you can throttle something, aka kill it by strangulation. By "hand on the throttle," I think Taylor was saying she was ready to not only fuel/validate her truth, but kill her past lives. I get this vibe that TTPD might be for TS12 what Reputation was for Lover. Just like with Rep, she's killing the old Taylor(s) that hid her queerness before she steps into the daylight with what comes after. Makes me understand all the chockers and high-neck collars she's been sporting for this era.

5. "And it was written"

I feel like I grazed over this part of the line a bit. What was written? It could be Taylor's lyrics or her 100 thrown-out speeches. She wrote them, but wasn't heard anyway, cursed. Or it could be the word written in the Bible. (In my opinion, shit) translations of the Bible call for all kinds of things to happen to queer people, and has so for years. Not that many though because the word homosexual didn't even exist when the Bible was first scribed. Taylor was cursed before she was even born. Possibly like Eve. Didn't Eve have control over whether she ate the fruit or not? Do queer people have control in who they love? Christian will debate forever.

6. "Let it once be me"

One reason why Taylor wasn't out from the get-go obviously has to do with where her career began and under what industry she was entering. An underaged, famous, sapphic country singer sounds a bit wild now honestly, imagine in 2006! The world would not have been ready, unfortunately. But why can't Taylor come out now? Well, in "WAOLOM", Taylor sneers, "I am what I am 'cause you trained me". She was raised to closet for her whole career, maybe even longer, who could know? And of course, "Old habits die screaming" (from "The Black Dog"). After this album, however, I feel like she's gearing up to free herself. Still, there are so many people younger than Taylor who come out super casually, like Reneé Rapp, Girl in Red, etc, without games or clear fear. Taylor probably sees them and wonders why she couldn't have/had that freedom. Maybe when she says specifically, "redo the prophecy" rather than "change the prophecy" she wishes she could go back in time and somehow make it so she could've come onto the scene out and proud way back then.

7. "like fools in a fable / Oh, it was sinking in"

I think Taylor started feeling like she'd never be free as she began to write Folklore. Of course, she knew the plan didn't work before that in 2019, but as she created Folklore and Evermore, she realized she was anywhere near where she wanted to be in 2020, playing the same games. It sunk in with that. That's why Folklore, Evermore, and even some Midnights songs can sound so hopeless. As an LSK, I don't believe it was due to a breakup, but more closeting. All the albums after Lover seem to have minimal color because she can't be herself.

8. "My last coin"

So, I mentioned in part one that Taylor had/has referenced self-inflicting harmful actions towards herself in many songs. She also mentions poison in this song. It got me thinking about Romeo and Juliet and how that play goes. Taylor, with the "Poison blood from the wound of the pricked hand" seems to be combining Romeo and Juliet's death, Juliet getting stabbed or "pricked" and Romeo drinking poison. Maybe this symbolizes that, even though when she was younger, more naïve and optimistic, she exclusively identified with Juliet and changed her ending in "Love Story", now she identifies with both Romeo and Juliet, even sometimes taking on the "male" role in her songs (e.g. The Heartbreak Prince and JaMEs). A part of me wonders if that could be a comment on her gender identity too, but that goes a bit over my skill level to analyze. But it feels sad that Taylor used to change the fates of Romeo and Juliet and now she's honest about what happens to them. As I said before, I want nothing but good for Taylor. it will be okay. 🤍 ✌️🌈

Alrighty, I think I got it all out of me. Watch me think of some more shit with this song. 🙄😅

[worstvideogamesong-poll]

Worst Video Game Song Tournament - Round 3 Match 3

The Yoshi Clan - Yoshi's New Island

VERSUS

Mansion Basement - Resident Evil Director's Cut

FIGHT!

I would recommend listening to as much as you can of each song before voting, but how you choose is up to you! Remember to be civil in the tags and replies!

Propaganda under cut:

The Yoshi Clan:

"the ass band will play a song of farts to celebrate your failure"

"#FUCK YOU YOSHI"

"#yoshi sounds like suck"

"#YOOOOOOOOSHI CLAAAAN!!!!!!!! #ok im gonna complete my santa review before getting to my ten page essay on why i love yoshi clan. yea that shit bad #i accidentally started it playing in two tabs at different points of the video which was honestly really fun. i recommend tryin that esp wi #bad songs really adds smthn to the exprience. it was awesoeme #it also just sounds the exact type of awful that that video image implies which is cool. its so perfect. it sounds ass #but. what it can not beat. is my favorite of all time. my darling love. it is time to begin my sermon #ok so yoshi clan is just so beautifully terrible. and truly the whole soundtrack is an orchestra of bad design. and its so fun to look at #that really nice professional looking art for the game and get BLASTED with kazoo #and like. i understand the thought process. kazoo does seem silly goofy yoshi. and it also sounds like a chorus of pain #now this song specifically has some really great awkward pauses. at 0:16 theres like a full 3 seconds of silence. which is SO cool #then the hot cross bun bit that ends at 0:27 gets so sad and deflated at the end of it. like it starts off in time but then clearly the #soloist got kinda embarrassed alone and so rushed and got really quiet. and its just so sad and lonely. its so cool #also some of these pauses have a couple lone far away kazoo squeaks for no reason before the 'melody' comes back in? awesome #but what i really really love about this. what really draws my eye. is the ending. because we go through this entire rigamarole with the #worst secondhand embarrassment of my life. then. 0:43. the kazoos move out. and in. the most genuinely awesome groovy drum beat in the worl #like its SO good. and those last few seconds are like you're in a different world. like you just survived horrors and you are brought to an #angelic chorus. and it lasts what 5 seconds? 5 seconds of beauty after a full 40 seconds of purgatory. in what world do horrors live foreve #while an angel can last for only a flash #its cruelty. its injustice. its completely ingenious. incredible music making. i am in such awe. #anyways thats my manifesto. please feel free to put any of this in the propaganda section op. im passioante"

Mansion Basement:

"this song fucking sucks. i love it."

"[Mansion Basement] is literally what letting my cat walk over my keyboard set on some particularly bad trumpet sample feels like. Spectacular"

"#This is so funny #Who made mansion basement?? #It's so sad!! #And pathetic!!"

"#whaat the fuuuck is up with [Mansion Basement]"

"#like NOTHING can compare to mansion basement #what the FUCK"

"#the mansion basement made me cry #ithink i know who the winner here is #🎺🔥🔥🎺🔥🎺🔥🎺🔥🎺🔥🎺🔥"

"#[Mansion Basement] THO HEEEELP.??? BABY ON FL STUDIO TRYING TO PLAY MARIO UNDERGROUND THEME...."

"#resident evil is a joke song for clowns"

"#I'M NOT LISTENING TO THE OTHER ONE I KNOW FOR A FACT IT'S MANSION BASEMENT #THE STORY BEHIND IT IS WILD TOO SO THAT'S AN AUTOMATIC WIN BABBBEEEYYY" (pollrunner's note if anyone knows what the story is please tell me i am dying to hear about it)

"#i saw the title of this post and literally IMMEDIATELY thought of mansion basement #felt emotionally validated when i saw it was an option #i love that song #in the worst way #like a drunk zombie looking for its keys in an orchestra"

"#im fucking obsessed with mansion basement. sweep"

"#what the hell that is not a real resident evil song #did they really just make that and put it in the game #what"

"#I ACTUALLY LIKE THE BASEMENT SONG because it perfectly captions how like- #the sneaky suspicion of getting diharrea feels"

"#fart basement ofc"

"#Mansion basement is objectively the funniest song ever"

Feel free to add more propaganda in the tags and replies, or send it to me in the ask box and I'll try to share it as soon as I can!

[theweirdoinurhouse]

Phobias, am I right?

Sorry for the bad title, but in my Ted Talk of the day I'll be discussing Tokophobia and thanatophobia (mainly this one). I've seen some talk about them, and want to share my own personal experiences with them and spread more light on the subjects.

CW: Talk of death, pregnancy, childbirth, and rape (very briefly) Please proceed with caution, I don't want anybody to have a mental crisis

So first off, what are tokophobia and thanatophobia? Tokophobia is the fear of childbirth/pregnancy, and thanatophobia is the fear of death. That one is pretty broad. I will section off talking about each of them. Warning, they might be long.

Thanatophobia:

I'll just get this one out of the way. I personally have thanatophobia stronger than tokophobia, and that's because it's literally unavoidable. And that's the main reason I'm so scared of it. Unlike other fears like heights or spiders or snakes, you can decently avoid those. But you can't avoid death. It's always looming over you, no matter how safe you seem. Not to say those other fears aren't valid or anything. They absolutely are. But nobody can avoid death. Not forever anyways.

Everytime I get home and open the door I'm scared someone might be on the other side with a gun. Or when I enter my room. Or whenever I'm walking I wonder if that maybe someone will drive by and shoot me. Lots of shooting thoughts, because it's one of the easiest methods. But no matter where I am I always have the looming thought of dying.

Then there's the fact about mortality. It absolutely angers me. Inside me are two wolves (sorry I have to joke to make myself feel better). One wolf thinks: Why do anything? We won't matter. We won't do anything that matters to the world or people. We're gonna die one day. We're not special. Why try so hard? The other wolf thinks: We're gonna die one day, so why not live life to the fullest? (Can you tell which one I listen to most of the time?)

I try my best to live my life to the fullest. But I'm always so stressed about everything. Then whenever I try to do something "cool" or think about doing something cool, I can only think of how that might make my life even shorter. I watched this one movie where this girl was the embodiment of "YOLO". Guess what? She died.

I don't want that to be me. I don't want to finally decide to do something fun and then die. But I also don't want to stay cooped up my whole life. Every thought I have contradicts each other and it's so hard to live with. I hate thinking about how we're all just going to die one day and that we can't do anything about it. And we have no clue what's after.

I'm not religious. And honestly? That makes this even worse. I have nothing to hold onto. I have nothing to look forward to. I have nothing. 😋😋 I won't talk much about religion. Like ever. But yeah, I don't have a belief of what's after, and it's makes the unknown so scary to me. I don't like not knowing. Just endless black? No consciousness? Nothing? Nothing.

I have oh so many thoughts about death. None positive. Sometimes I think about killing myself to escape this sad, non-satisfying world. When I was younger I made this idea with my step dad that when you die you get your own island in the sky and you can make it as perfect to you as you want. Sometimes I want to die to go to my own personal, amazing life. But what if that's fake? What if everything everyone has ever thought of about the afterlife is fake? Not having an answer is scary enough for me.

Earlier today I was helping out at a theater put away some stuff. I was standing on top of a latter. Then suddenly it was getting a little hard to breath and I was crying. Had to steady myself before getting off the ladder. So really other fears that can correspond to death scares me too. How diverse! 😄

Anyways that's the basics. Ill just stop it there before it gets too long.

Tokophobia:

This one will be shorter, so people who don't like reading a lot of words: here ya go.

Remember in thanatophobia I mentioned walking? Yeah sometimes I think about someone 🍇 me and (bc the government low key sucks) being forced to have a child. TERRIFYING!!! Honestly props to all the moms in the world, i could never give birth.

Whenever I think about pregnancy the first thing that pops up in my brain is that one scene from Alien. You know the one. There is a literal LIVING BEING GROWING IN YOUR STOMACH!!! WHAT?!

The thought just really grosses me out, and I just would have a mental breakdown if I was pregnant.

This one time in like 3rd grade my teacher was talking about her giving birth to her two daughters (no clue why she did). She had to stop because one kid was crying, knees to their chest and rocking back and forth. That child was me. I was absolutely mortified of the idea of giving birth. Still am. People call it the beauty of life. I call it absolutely disgusting (no offense. Omg opinions!!)

Anyway yeah. In summary: I don't like the world ☺️☺️

(I did not re-read this, so sorry for any mistakes in spelling or grammar!)

[super-paper]

I really love your opinions and posts about toshi, so if i may, do you think toshinori will (or maybe has already) "learn the lesson" that others have been trying to show and tell him, and see worth and meaning in his life beyond All Might the hero?? Obviously it's not a behavior or mentality that one can change just like that, especially after so many years living behind that persona. But with so many characters around him telling him to keep on living, and he still in the end attempts a sacrifice, I can't help but wonder if he truly understands what everyone else has been trying to tell him and really try to live. It sounds like i'm not being fair to him, bc obviously it's an extreme situation of war and at this point, it's normal to act based on 'whatever it takes', but idk, i'm just worried about his character 😭

Thank you for the kind words! I'm glad you also like Toshi.

Anyway-- I think you've already brushed against the root of the issue! Rationally speaking, Toshinori does understand that other people want him to live and he's so unbelievably, genuinely grateful each and every time someone encourages him to keep living. He's completely sincere when he says that he wants to live/is going to keep living.

That being said, I don't think it's contradictory for Toshi specifically to talk about wanting to live, fully *mean* that he wants to live, and then immediately try to blow himself up. It can be difficult for people to fully understand the insidious nature of mental illness, I feel, bc they try to rationalize something that simply isn't rational (I don't want to diminish the necessary context behind Toshibomb, either: Toshi was primarily acting out of desperation to protect Izuku from AFO-- and the narrative itself chose not to reward/validate him for this.)

Like, I totally get that some Toshi fans feel betrayed/upset because it feels like Toshi isn't taking other people's feelings seriously, or bc it feels as though he's "undoing" all his character development-- but genuinely, I don't believe his development has been undone in the slightest. Toshinori is genuinely fighting to live and for his right to keep living. Toshinori also attempted to kill himself. Both realities are equally and simultaneously true for this character, even if it seems like they're fundamentally incompatible with each other. "I want to keep living for you!" and "I would die for you without hesitation!" aren't contradictory feelings from Toshinori's perspective.

(side note: I don't want to make assumptions about the experiences and lives of other fans, so I apologize if this comes across that way! I know a lot of other fans also suffer from depression and don't mean to insinuate that they lack perspective, or anything like that.)

Personally, I don’t think Toshi’s arc is remotely finished yet-- primarily because his feelings regarding Tomura remain quite conspicuously unaddressed. Toshi still needs to admit out loud what his essence as a person (i.e. aura!might) shed tears over— that in his heart of hearts, he also wants to save that boy. Izuku, Toshinori, Bakugo, and Aizawa are the characters that Tomura found himself fixating on during Act 1 bc they all represent something that failed him terribly (Heroes - Izuku, Family - Toshinori, Society - Bakugo, His Teacher - Aizawa). So, these four are the key players who will play the biggest role in saving Tomura, I feel-- and all four characters still have some critical development that's needed before they can all be on the same page about what needs to be done, and ultimately "change fate" together:

I also feel that, if there's any lesson that Toshi does still need to learn, is that it's okay to live entirely for his own sake. He's learned that he wants to live, but he ties that desire to other people and other people have unfortunately/unintentionally reinforced this ("Izuku lives for your sake so please don't talk about dying" "You gotta keep living until the day you can hear me say 'I am here!'" "Just you being here is all the push other people need to keep going" "you can only claim the title of a hero by dedicating your life to others")-- and that's where the dissonance kicks in, where Toshi is still willing to kill himself for the sake of others because he's primarily living for the sake of others. Toshi still needs someone to tell him that it's okay to live, just because he wants to, without tying this desire to anyone else.

This is a lesson I feel he can learn through being more honest about his own feelings (which again, heavily ties to him finally processing his feelings about Tomura/Tenko and then finally acting on them!). I also feel like Bakugo and Tomura (two of the most ego-driven characters in the cast) may end up having a role to play in helping Toshinori understand that it's completely okay to live for himself.

Edit: As for Toshinori "learning that he has value outside of being All Might," I feel that he has already learned this! I'm actually writing a post about what Iron Might means for Toshinori as a person & why it's a positive development right now-- So I hope that it will address your concerns, if only a little!

[crippling-pages]

Two days ago i finished SxF book 3 and as always, im (still) screaming :) anyways here's what my thought process was basically

For one, YURIII dude you need to take a deep breath. And no more wine. You're being crazy, dude.

He's overreacting but its lowkey valid ToT help- From what he's heard his sister (who literally raised him) has been married for A WHOLE YEAR to this random dude, and he hasnt known whatsoever???????? Like he's valid for overreacting but come down dude please

"What do you call her?"

"Yor..?"

"WHAT?! I CALL HER YOR- BUT THAT'S OUR THING!" but thats her name...?

but like HELPPPPPP LOID SAYING THAT HE'D SAVE HER FROM A BOMB IM DYING THATS SO CUTE

stop but not the blushing from the napkin LOL but now they've got to kiss?? and in a single second, everyone, we see Loid Forger go through the 5 stages of grief.

SKJHUGYTFRD&TFIGYUHAGTFRYHUIHB YOR HOLD UP THIS IS GETTING A BIT OVER PG- YOR OH MY GODS

*spits out water* DUDE IS YURI TRYNA KISS HER- oh wait no he's just trying to punch Loid. AAAAAND YOR PUNCH YURI LMKAOOO

in summary um, thank the gods Anya was sleeping- though with her telepathy it

Not Yor kicking Franky's butt ToT

"I'm really glad I married you, Loid." Your honor I am not okay make them kiss. THAT LINE was ALL Loid thought about while they were getting the cake.

GASP will Anya get a Star in PE??? GASPx2 DAMIAN SAVES HER FROM THE BALL??? GASPx3 apparently you don't get Stars in PE :|

WOAH ANYA SAVES A KID FROM DROWNING?

STARLIGHT ANYAAAAA *bows*

GASPPP THE FORGERS ARE GETTING A DOG???????? JIHGFTRDFYGUHJ IS THIS THE FAMOUS BOND I'VE HEARD SO MUCH ABOUT???????? JHUYGTFRDFUGYHIJ

AHHH LOID'S TAKING YOR ON A DATEEEEE HEHEHEHE oh wait she got shot in the butt- poor Yor help ToT

YES LETS GO FOR FRANKY AND ANYA DUO

Not Loid feeling guilty and thinking the way Yor's acting is because he asked her to go shopping ToT

Not Yor standing for literally anything and with that the 800+ date ideas Loid has disapear.

Oooh fancy dinner! >:D

some guy is trying to kill her but YAYYY YOR'S BUTT IS BETTER

YESS ANYA SAVE THE DAMN DAY ONCE AGAINNN

"I hope we can do this again sometime... today really meant a lot to me!' // "..I'd like that." YOUR HONOR HELPPPPPPP

aaaaand the poison wore off- hopefully Yor gets better, for her sake and for Loid's ToT

FRIGGIN LOVED THIS SO SOOO MUCH 10/10 ONCE AGAIN I BINGED IT IN A DAY I LOVE SXF

[your-queer-dad]

what’s up dad no idea if I’ve already sent something bringing this up but medical shit has been kicking my ass for a good four years now it’s mainly deficiencies that have gotten dangerously low to the point of almost killing me I keep catching them before I end up dying but it gets really annoying I finally weened off the steroids keeping me alive from the last one and I was really excited cause now I feel way better but I got my blood tested and found out now I have dangerously low levels of vitamin d and I had to take meds for that now and basically “I’m”you’re lucky to be standing your levels were so low it’s a miracle you’ve managed to get up every morning” AGAIN this is like the fifth time :/ anyway my health problems come from my parents it’s a long story but the deficiencies are cause my parents keep forcing me into dangerous situations and threatening me which stresses the hell out of me so I got a cortisol deficiency then iron then vitamin c now vitamin d and I think there was another don’t remember anyway the cortisol caused chronic fatigue pain etc which made it hard to go outside and take care of myself especially considering my parents haven’t gotten any safer or nicer and they sure as fuck don’t buy enough food so then I got the vitamin c and now vitamin d I have lots of other medical shit that’s almost killed me but that’s the most annoying recently

the thing that pisses me off is I had all of it taken care off!! I came off vitamin c iron and cortisol supplements after YEARS of trying to sort my shit out and take care of myself get a support system and eat while my parents actively sabotaged everything cutting me off from friends never buying enough food or food I can eat threatening me screaming blaming me for my disorders and chronic shit AND the deficiencies etc also they lied about all of it and blame me for EVERYTHJNG even the shot they do!! but I finally fixed it expect over the summer I didn’t go outside like ever because I was busy with school and my parents got worse and now the vitamin d deficiency because of it!! I’m just so tired and frustrated I worked so hard for four years and I feel like I’ve been wasting my teen years and what’s left of my garbage childhood trying to fix what my parents caused and made worse and were supposed to help with I never managed to keep any real friends and now I’m just trying to save up so I can move out and live without having to look over my shoulder all the damn time

anyway sorry for the longass thing I don’t have the energy to format this clusterfuck or check spelling or comprehension love you man I’m always sending shit here and venting I never sign off on my shit so you prolly can’t tell what’s mine but it’s a hell of a lot rip what I’m tryna say is thank you for answering and listening it feels validating

Hey kiddo! Please don't apologise, I'm always here to listen. And I am really really proud of you. You're doing really well considering the situation and I'm so sorry your parents acted like that. 🫂🫂🫂

- dad x

[milksuu]

deeply disappointed in myself i'm sorry in advance 🩵🩵 trying to form questions in my head as i type this like ?? wgat was that key doing in us but that'll probably be revealed in the next part ?? unless im an idiot and phel just got 𝓯𝓻𝓮𝓪𝓴𝔂 like that 😶‍🌫️ sorry but i need him to get mc pregnant RIIIGHHHTTT NEOWWWWW 🙏🙏🙏 i beg of you please js put it in i'm so sorry i'm down bad rn but uh anyway !!?##]^ i anticipate what u have in store for pt 3 too bc anon had the right idea omg .. pregnancy ,,, repopulating the clan uchiha style u have my heart . AND MC MY SWEET ☹️☹️ so kind despite literally . being a captive ⁉️⁉️😭 free my girl (lying through my teeth btw, need to b stuck there forever). ALSO HELLO WHO WASHED US 😨😨 was it phel or some other lunari but oh my god , during that scene!!!!!!! the way u describe everything (vag😍) is mmmphhkjgf all i can do is gush over ur writing w no shame bc i need phel so bad, uhh chp dedicated towards eating mc out ?? ur insane actually. i love u sm ☹️☹️ the language n atmosphere lord save me bc what do yoy mean these rn't canon descriptors of lunari grounds, if riot isn't putting in the work then we hve writers like you god bless ☹️

also . LMFAOOO LOSER 😭😭 idiot stuck in the bath (need to b in there w him), oh and was it the noctum rhat paralysed him (he can paralyse me from my waist down 🩵) ? silly question but im a lil deranged rn after reading that my bad . mc was honestly such a sweetheart though, for treating him so well but we'll ignore the prior murder attempt. can't lose a baddie tonight ykyk ‼️‼️ what would happen though if . mc committed to it though err would phel just be a goner considering his state in the bathtub n all 😭

thats it from me rn bc it's late !! 🦦🩵

LMFAO! i loved reading this omg.

OK SO--yeah phel was just being a weirdo and decided to 'hide' the key inside of mc, cause why not.

ALL YALL WANTING BABIES WITH THIS MAN HAHA. hes literally insane. and you know what? VALID. but i'll be upfront and say it won't be happening in part 3, soowwwyyy. </3

also phel 100% washed mc. like, he literally made sure that mc had a warm bath, to the point he let the water get cold for himself. and well, yeah, he's a DUMMY who ran out of time before the side effects of the noctum completely started fckin up his insides and got trapped suffering in a cold bath HAHA. i also hc that there's no way this man ISNT dying every time he consumes it. and this mf knows it and will do it till he legit dies and alune knows this too. [*insert tragic bad ending here*]

and we actually aren't at a lunari camp just yet!!!! mc really is just in a tavern in like a neutral territory/town rn. and dont you worry, you'll know when we do get there, because in my mind, the place is GORGEOUS. like a freaking jeweled city inside the mountain and its BREATHTAKING. MAGICAL. STREAMS LOOK LIKE STARTLIGHT. FLOWERS ARE BIOLUMINESCENT. THERE ARE POCKETS OF MOONSHINE IN DARK CAVERNOUS ROOMS WHERE THE LUNARI BATHE COMPLETELY NAKED AND BOND AS FRIENDS/FAMILY/LOVERS. i rlly dont fckin know i wish riot would give us so much more lore to their territory. for both solari and lunari honestly. but yeah, we'll know soon enough!

and uh yeah if mc committed we wouldn't have a part 3 LMFAO.

once again, ty for the lovely msg anon!! <3<3<3

[zalrb]

the summer i turned pretty 2x03 review -- belly is legit terrible, tho.

I'm sorry, he's the best actor on the show?

This should be angsty and painful

The tension between Conrad and Belly should be like

and Conrad should be Chuck where even if his expression is a mask, his eyes tell the real story

and Belly, your expressions are the same, your tone of voice is the same

"Man, Susannah used to have this place filled to the brim before we got here" "Mom used to have the [beds] ready before we got here" WELL YEAH. She got it ready for the summer. Did you all forget that this was an impromptu visit?

"Kick ass or whatever you're supposed to do at these things." "Your guess is as good as mine." Ma'am, aren't you a professional author? This isn't your first rodeo.

Taylor, why do you need to go to Cousins. Why do either of you need to go to Cousins. For drama that won't happen.

Lol at prom I forgot my boyfriend's ... the flower thingy you put in his suit pocket.

OK she wants to have fun at her junior prom which is valid but it's also so clear that my guy doesn't want to be there so her being like "I thought you were going to spend the night" sis, does it LOOK like he wants to spend the night?

Sooooooooo are you going to talk?

for the love of god

can i have some chair energy please?

with their very undramatic, contained version of promicide, which i don't even think is warranted tbh, conrad wasn't great here but his mother is dying, belly.

"conrad just pushes people away when he needs them the most" HE ASKED YOU TO LEAVE WITH HIM AND YOU WERE LIKE BUT PROM! Lol ok.

He told you he was worried about his mom being on new meds and you were like oh pfft, she's probably fine,

which was supposed to be trying to stay positive but comes across as dismissive. You're actually pretty bad at being there for ... anyone it seems, belly.

"i didn't have the best year" the weird/funny thing about tsitp is that they keep mentioning susannah over and over and over again and how different life is without her or how different the house is without her, like they talk about it a lot but it doesn't feel like they've actually lost her, like i don't feel like i'm watching two sons whose mother died, the grief isn't done well enough because belly is over here babbling about how she lost a volleyball captaincy when jeremiah literally lost his mother. and it's like they're saying her pain about susannah is equal to his and conrad's pain and it isn't?

"i really missed you, jere." DID YOU?

oh, how i don't care about taylor and whatshisface. skipping.

like are you frenzied to keep this house or not? because you're fucking surfing, man. like??

"we'll use our trusts to buy this house" is that enough to also pay the mortgage, is it enough for insurance, is it enough for property taxes, is it enough for repairs...? how much is this trust?

I'm just watching them at this funeral and I'm like ... when I had Buffy?

when I had FNL?

I've had conversations about users about appreciating something for what it is or liking something for what it is and I can understand that but when I've something done better, I can't help but contextualize what I'm watching with what I've watched before or what I'm watching at the same time.

You are a literally at a WAKE, Belly, this couldn't wait?

I don't care how old you are you're old enough to know better, this is RIDICULOUS. And I thought Lorelai interrupting Sookie's kid's baptism because Rory was there was horrible.

You are not NEARLY embarrassed and/or ashamed enough about how you acted here.

Oh no, she fell after telling the son of a mother who DIED to go to hell because he was resting his head on another girl's lap.

Nah, I am a grudge person, I am never speaking to her again after pulling THAT at my mother's WAKE? You are dead to me, sis.

Oh, a panic attack on the beach because he bottles everything up and doesn't let anyone help him except he kind of does and everyone knows he's upset anyway because he doesn't try to hide it, which is the thing, he should be constantly acting like everything is normal and/or he's adjusting super well and then do something like break up with Belly out of the blue because he's actually not fine and he actually is shutting her out by pretending everything's fine and does things like go to the beach to have panic attacks.

[princesscolumbia]

...hold on, hold the FUCK on...

...an anime featuring a lesbian couple front and center for a mecha series where, and this is the part I need to be 100% clear on:

TᕼᕮY ᗪOᑎ'T ᗷᑌᖇY Tᕼᕮ GᗩYS?!?!

EDIT: After having been properly educated (by both the OP and my GF, who wasn't happy with me for getting into an argument on the Internet in the first place let alone on something I was flat-out wrong about), I've promised to give Gundam another try, starting with Witch from Mercury. I'll probably be doing a "live react" or something on a Tumblr post or something. And because it must be said as publicly as I made an ass of myself: I'm sorry to OP and I'm sorry to the fandom for running off assumptions in the heat of the moment.

(This, at least, will give me something to do instead of sit in the dark and cry over the fact that my GF is leaving going back to her hometown for a month and probably never coming back because everyone leaves me eventually and I'll probably die alone ...maybe I have issues.)

Anyway, much like my issue with Warhammer 40k, I allowed myself to be completely blinded to the actual content of the IP by dudebros who gave me a completely inaccurate picture of the property. This is the dudebro's fault for being douche-bags about it and my fault for believing them, not the fault of the actual Gundam fandom or the property itself.

Why not just delete the post? Two reasons; first, it's already escaped confinement and second I don't believe in deleting stuff I've posted just because it's wrong. It feels disingenuous to me, like I'm trying to hide it and lie about it. I'd rather people find the original straight from the source with apologies or corrections (like this one) than have a game of hearsay telephone happening with possible out of context screenshots.

I've been deliberately avoiding this series because...well, it's Gundam. If there ever was a series that was overhyped it's Gundam, but mostly because it's a progressive march of fuckboys in penis compensation machines saving the day because Reasons™ and you're telling me The Series for Cis-Het Dude Protags has two lady queers front and center AND THEY DON'T KILL THEM OFF?!

I mean, okay, okay...backing up here...maybe I'm jaded. It took me 20+ years to find out there's a playable faction of women characters in Warhammer 40k because I couldn't see past the neo-fascist fanboys who have hard-ons for a zombie emperor. Maybe all I'm seeing are the wannabe otaku who saw one (1) series of Gundam and decided it was the Best Mecha Anime Ever and are just four-bajillion forms of annoying about it.

Maybe I've been watching from the sidelines as the "Yes Lesbians!" vs. "No Lesbians!" factions lob grenades at each other without ever talking about whether these two protagonists even have a story arc.

But for the LOVE of all that is good and pure would you people start TALKING ABOUT WHETHER THE GAYS GET BURIED OR NOT?!?! (EDIT: See below) I grew up as a closeted queer in the 80s! I've had buried gays up to my eyeballs! I tune out any media that features any hint of homosexuality until it's spoiled for me with the announcement that "The Queers Live!"

The elder queers are dying of thirst here! We've gotten accustomed to drinking from the poisoned well of 'bury your gays' because it was all we had for DECADES...no, centuries!!!

Please, please say the important part out loud! Tell us up front that the sweet queer couple in the series aren't killed off or married off in some hack-writer way to get rid of the queers!

EDIT: I understand that my lack of clarity was, once again, me falling into the dudebro's traps and not paying attention to what people actually said, and clearly people in the Gundam fandom, esp. the queer parts of it, have been saying it right up front for some time. The meta-message I was going for remains valid, even if my application of it to this particular franchise was wildly off-base. Please create content where the queers live, we don't want to bury our gays anymore.

I mostly think this poll is hilarious (and some people are taking it way, way too seriously) but it’s starting to get really weird how often people on the opposite side are dismissing Gundam — a giant of science fiction that remade a genre in its image — and quite literally lying about Suletta and Miorine. I’ve seen people claim they were canonically married to men, people claim the show’s ending was rewritten by interns, claim they never hugged, and other claims regarding them not being canon.

While Bandai and Kadokawa did censor one interview, and Bandai released an “open to interpretation” statement, these no longer hold true. Official material has henceforth referred to them as married. One instance of censorship and a statement they’ve clearly walked back on does not erase the fact that the show itself heavily emphasizes their wedding rings, refers to Miorine as Eri’s sister-in-law, and makes it abundantly clear that they are married.

“I knew I was going to make an epilogue, but it was a while before I decided upon the exact number of years that should pass in-between. The ending itself follows “The Tempest,” and depicts Suletta and Miorine getting married and becoming partners.”

- Hiroshi Kobayashi

They are completely and unambiguously canon, and arguably were never decanonized to begin with given the literal text of the show.

An addendum to this: I’ve also seen a strange dismissal of the history that G-Witch pulls from.

The original Gundam inspired Revolutionary Girl Utena, with Lalah Sune in particular (the creator of an iconic Gundam archetype) serving as the inspiration for Anthy Himemiya. Gundam has had a queer fanbase for decades, and has had gay characters (with Yoshiyuki Tomino himself confirming this) since the 1990s.

G-Witch draws from Gundam’s extensive, genre-shaking history, classics like Utena and Rose of Versailles, and Shakespeare’s The Tempest. It brings Gundam and Utena’s connection full circle, and is in conversation with every Gundam series that came before it.

It’s unfair to dismiss it as just some random show, or — as I’ve seen some do — credit its open queerness to the influence of completely unrelated American media, as if Japan is utterly devoid of gay people.

[solest]

Personal stuff, have to get it out of my head and this is the best place.

I've been working on myself a lot since 2020 rolled up. I broke up with my then boyfriend, faced my depression, the whole inner struggle and trauma and got around to discover my own queerness again. I put myself out there again, I got vulnerable and met someone, I even moved in with them and finally quit my old job in a kindergarten after 6 1/2 years to pursue things that are important to me. I finally got a tattoo and a septum piercing and dyed my hair in bright colours, finally looking like I always wanted to.

And I did this in three years, which is not a lot of time in the greater perspective, I figured. And here I am, sitting on my couch on a Sunday night and dreading Monday, because I fear I fucked up my new job because some teenagers at work don't like me. I underestimated that I would need time to rest and adjust to all those changes. They've been stressful after years of stagnation, even though they're good change. I'm now actively facing deep fears, getting undiscovered wounds triggered in the work with teenagers and I'm blaming myself that I'm not professional enough and getting everything right from the start.

Dear self, you've been putting a shit ton of work into being where you are now. You're allowed to fail. You're allowed to not make things right and don't have a clue how or what you're doing. It's okay if the teenagers don't like you right away. Some never will, others might do over time, but you're not a scared teenager yourself anymore and you don't have to be their friend. You're a professional social worker and your approach is as valid as the one from your colleagues. You also don't have to lose the bright hair or dress more 'adult' (whatever that is anyways). If it feels good, it's good for you, that's all that matters. You're not too much or too less. You're you and that's enough and good and all you need. Cut yourself some slack and be nicer to yourself, please.

[clary-jace]

ok because i couldn’t stop thinking about it the other day in my night class, he’s my stranger things/girl meets world au....i am like...in love with this so please.......hear me out 

so riley, zay and smackle are like the trio of the au

riley = mike 

zay = dustin 

smackle = lucas 

so basically farkle is like will and is the forth member of their group and he’s the one that goes missing at the beginning of the au, so get ready for the angst there 

so riley, zay, smackle and farkle are all best friends who are small nerd children, so of course when farkle goes missing, riley zay and smackle all jUMP into action to try and find him 

like in the show, farkle goes missing while they’re playing that game and the whole group is pretty distressed, but smackle takes it the hardest (the smarkle is lit y’all, LIT!!!) 

(the town and adults aren’t really as involved in this au as they are on the show so the au is mainly about the kids reaction, they’re like 13/14 in this) 

so basically after farkle goes missing they all jump into action to try and find him, and like go out late at night to look for him, and riley starts disappearing from her own house which worries her family (cory, topanga, josh - her older bro, and auggie - her younger bro) 

OK SO ONE NIGHT riley is out by herself and stumbles across lucas in the woods after he’s run away from the weird testing facility that he was trapped in 

so YES LUCAS = ELEVEN WHICH FUCKS ME UP 

lucas has been kept in this facility by the “papa” character, who is actually his dad, kenneth, who’s a grade a jackass in this au btw and took lucas away from his mom when he was really little and basically is trying to brainwash him and mind control him to get what he wants and what not

lucas also has mind control powers, which comes in handy later 

so basically when riley comes across lucas, he’s very skittish and doesn’t trust anyone or really want anyone to touch him, but riley is very calm with him 

she brings him into her house and lets him stay in her basement and her parents a lil Skeptical about where all their food is going but riley is like “must take care of him, must protect him” 

lucas also says he thinks he might know where farkle is, which definitely makes riley interested to know more about what he has to say 

zay and smackle are both v v skeptical of lucas when riley introduces them to lucas, and lucas is v v nervous around them and like won’t answer any of their questions and kind of just sits there with a scared look on his face

zay is very much like “riley your parents are already skeptical about you being gone all night looking for farkle they’re gonna kill you when they find out about this, and then all hopes of us finding farkle will be gone” 

so like he’s just concerned about riley getting into more trouble with her parents, and like he’s a little weirded out by lucas, but then he comes around to lucas being around and his curiosity of what lucas knows about farkle gets the best of him 

smackle on the other hand doesn’t want to believe anything lucas says, and doesn’t think that they should trust him at all because, “hello riley you found him wandering around in the woods”

and smackle doesn’t really come around especially after lucas leads them to something that supposedly is supposed to help them find farkle, but just leads them to a dead end and smackle is pretty sure that lucas is just trying to get them all killed 

smackle and riley have a big blow out about it at one point, that lucas overhears, and smackle is like “lucas just wants us all to disappear like farkle did!! he doesn’t care about farkle and he certainly doesn’t care about us!!!” smackle then kind of leaves them for a while because she’s so upset 

riley, while understanding her friends concerns, comes to care deeply about lucas and trusts him, even if he says some weird stuff sometimes (when he does actually talk, which isn’t often) and they form a bond 

it all comes to a head though when all of riley’s frustrations about not finding farkle and smackle leaving them boils over and she ends up snapping at lucas after he claims to be able to help them with something that again leads them to a dead end, after this lucas runs away, thinking that he’s not welcome with her or zay anymore 

lucas really does want to help tho!!! he just doesn’t know exactly how to help them tho!!! he’s trying tho!!! oh boy is he trying!!!!

also zay thinks lucas’ mind control powers are super cool, smackle thinks it’s all a trick of the eye and doesn’t believe it and riley gets super concerned whenever lucas gets one of his nosebleeds 

riley also tries to help lucas acclimate to normal life outside of the facility, and lucas vaguely opens up to her about what happened, but she’s deadass the only person he feels remotely comfortable around

after lucas runs away though, riley and zay continue to look for farkle, but they get cornered by some bullies from their school who try and hurt zay and riley stands up for him, but the bullies can tell that she’s bluffing and basically, they tell her if she jumps off a cliff, they’ll leave zay alone

AND OK ZAY DOESN’T WANT HER TO BUT SHE DOES BECAUSE SHE WOULD DO ANYTHING FOR HER FRIENDS 

but lucas comes back and saves her!!! like he literally saves her life!!! he uses his powers to save her!!!!! 

while he was gone, lucas realized that he needs to help them, he needs to make them believe him again, because they’re his friends and he needs his friends, that’s what they’ve all taught him 

(also imagine the zay/riley/lucas hug that happens after lucas saves her, talk about a ot3 for the ages my friends) 

after riley almost dies, smackle realizes that they all need to work together if they’re going to get farkle back, so she reconciles with riley and her and lucas start to warm up to each other again 

THE GANG IS BACK TOGETHER 

(also sidenote, maya is in this au and she’s josh’s gf and they have a lil side storyline that isn’t plotted out yet, but she’s in this au fam don’t worry) 

then ALL THE SHIT HAPPENS, basically in the end lucas gets found by his father, who wants to take him again and riley basically stands up to his father and tells him that if he wants to take lucas he’s going to have to take her too because she’s not leaving lucas 

rucas are hella protective of each other in this, just so y’all know if that wasn’t obvious 

lucas however, isn’t gonna let himself be all brainwashed and controlled anymore, so he uses his powers on his dad and like throws him back into a wall and almost kills him, it’s beautiful and it’s lucas standing up for himself and riley is a lil scared but also hella proud and then zay is just like “dude that’s crazy” 

BUT doing that kind of takes some of the life out of lucas and then he becomes really weak, especially bc at this same time he’s been entering the upside down looking for farkle and also they’re running away from the demogorgon, which is trying to take them 

ultimately tho, lucas decides that he needs to sacrifice himself to save all of his friends because he’s the one that the demogorgon truly wants, so he kind of just walks into the monster and let’s himself be taken by it

riley is like screaming after him, zay is crying and smackle is just like in complete and total shock

riley tries to chase after him and be taken by the monster too, but zay holds her back and then she starts like Sobbing and falls to the ground 

(there’s a lil running thing that happens after rucas reunites after their fight where they say “where you go, i go” to each other kind of like, we don’t leave each other, so she’s like whispering that to herself as she watches the demogorgon leave and take lucas with it) 

BUT they get farkle back finally and they’re all reunited and it’s super cute and zay tells farkle all about lucas and is like “you two would have been such good friends” and farkle lowkey doesn’t believe he exists but he’s too happy to care bc he’s back with his friends!!! 

when he’s the hospital, smackle holds his hand and is like “i’m really glad that you’re back” and lowkey has tears in her eyes and farkle is like “isadora you’re crying” 

and she’s like “yes but i’m not upset, i promise!!” and wow, smarkle i’m fucking shook 

also there’s a lil rilaya scene, where maya is like basically riley’s big sister bc of her and josh and maya kind of is like “i know about that lucas kid you were hiding in the basement, i’m sure your parents did too, you weren’t subtle about it” and then maya kind of comforts her 

basically everything ends up OK for the gang, but riley still misses lucas and not long before all the shit happens, he gave her this necklace that he found when they were apart that he literally grabbed because it reminded him of her and she wears it everywhere after that 

they probably find each other again at some point BUT IDK I HAVEN’T THOUGHT THAT FAR 

basically, a lot of pain my dudes

i’m dead 

[anordinarymuse]

my tears ricochet.

Sirius Black and Regulus Black

Summary : a broken conversation between Sirius and Regulus’ ghost. (this is less of an imagine and more of a long written out thought of mine)

Warnings : angst, death, unedited

Word Count : ~1.8k

A/N : i will never not relate this song to Sirius and Reg. also please ignore how shitty the writing is i wrote it at 1am rip.

have i been writing this instead of requests ? maybe…

my masterlist.

request here.

"We gathered there, we lined up, weepin' in a sunlit room," Sirius told Regulus, thinking back on the day he got the letter from 'Dromeda that Regulus was missing.

He didn't believe. He thought for sure Regulus would come back. It wasn't like Regulus to leave, he had laughed at 'Dromeda's alarm, thinking Regulus was acting too much like himself. Sirius figured he'd just left to blow off some steam, teenage angst, he'd said.

"And if I'm on fire, you'll be made of ashes too," Sirius said softly. It was almost ironic how both Black brothers abandoned the responsibilities ruled in by their parents.

“Even on my worst day, did I deserve, Sirius. All the hell you gave me?” Regulus asked, standing blankly in front of Sirius. “Cause I loved you, I swear I loved you ‘til my dying day.”

“I’ve loved you, I swear I’ve loved you-” Sirius swore, but there was no denying his truth. Sirius had always loved Regulus as a brother, but not always a person. To him it seemed fair and valid, but he knew they were two very separate feelings. And now as he confessed with Regulus standing in front of him, seeing straight through his lie, his bias was unbalanced.

“'Til my dying day?” Regulus, letting his words soak in silence. Before he'd spend countless night staring at his ceiling, wondering the answer to the question. He wanted to believe the inevitable wasn't true. But now that he could hear the transparency of his Sirius' lie, his shoulders dropped with grief.

“I didn't have it in myself to go with grace,” Regulus continued after a moment of silence, his hands tucked into his pockets, and he stared at the ground.

“And you're the hero flying around, saving face?” Sirius made a noise that sounded like a laugh, but it’s echo was empty. His question wasn't mockery, and instead filled with disbelief.

The perfect son and heir of the Black lineage, dead at the hands of the one who created the being to begin with.

“And if I'm dead to you, why were you at the wake?” Regulus asked, he questioned Sirius’ motives on why he had been there. Regulus hadn’t expected it, he almost didn’t believe it.

Sirius remembered, he'd hovered in the back, he wasn't supposed to be there. They couldn’t even find Reg’s body so the casket was empty. And he’d stood there, stupidly hoping Regulus would walk into the room with the grin he’d lost over the years.

The distrust showed in Regulus' eyes. Regulus wanted to know, but Sirius could not formulate a sufficing answer. There were words he wanted to say, to explain that he was there because he cared, because he wanted to be.

To Sirius it seemed stupid, but what Sirius didn't know was Regulus could hear it, the reasons rattling in his head. But Regulus wanted Sirius to say it and he was afraid every moment of his being that that moment would never come.

“Cursing my name, wishing I stayed,” Sirius thought to himself silently.

That night Regulus had pleaded and begged with tears slipping off his cheeks, “Don’t go” “You cant leave me” “You promised” but he left anyway. Sirius never regretted his choice until now. The damage that his mother would’ve done was worth the pain to spend just one more second with Reg.

“Look at how my tears ricochet,” Sirius said quietly, refusing to look Reg in the eye as he felt tears form.

He didn’t want Reg to see him cry, but the choke in his throat worsened as he shut his eyes tightly trying to keep the tears in. But inevitably he felt them slice his cheeks like cold ice against skin.

“We gathered stones, never knowing what they'll mean,” Regulus said after a throbbing moment of watching his brother slowly crumble apart. He wanted to reach out and do something more, but he couldn’t. He was helpless, stuck where he stood. “Some to throw, some to make a diamond ring.”

Sirius looked up at his brother, to see him looking over Sirius’ shoulder. He turned to see the memories of the past, their younger selves in the courtyard picking up stones, stuffing them in their pockets.

It was a sickly feeling in his stomach to reminisce on a memory he had forgotten. Especially when Regulus remembered.

“You know I didn't want to have to haunt you, but what a ghostly scene,” Regulus muttered, taking a step forward, but keeping his distance. The childhood memories faded and Sirius turned back to Regulus.

It seemed that Regulus was always there, everywhere Sirius turned he saw him. The black locks, matching eyes, and thin frame. He'd see him in Diagon Alley, Grimmauld Place, even in places the two had never been together.

But, Sirius was gone, there was no mistaking it. Not gone the way Regulus was, but it was in Sirius’ eyes. The spark that had kept him going for so long had died out, and there was no getting it back.

“You wear the same jewels that I gave you as you bury me,” Regulus looked down at Sirius’ finger that wore the Black Family ring. It’d been meant for him but given to Regulus.

Regulus looked down at his own hand to see that the ring he’d worn for years was really gone and on its rightful owner. His hand felt lighter but his wrist didn’t.

“I didn’t have it in myself to go with grace,” Sirius muttered, thinking back on how the night of the funeral he snuck back home, searching for the ring.

He’d managed to slip through his old bedroom window. Stepping into his old room was the worse deja vu he’d experienced. It was strange to see that everything was the same.

The nude posters were still scattered permanently stuck to the walls. Gryffindor comforter in tact and bed made. Even his closet was filled with his old clothes, all ironed and crisp five years later.

It wasn’t until he stepped into Reg’s room searching for the ring he realized how much had changed. The organized, orderly, brother he knew had left his room a mess. Books, paper, quills littered the floor.

Sirius could still feel the same drop in his heart when he saw the envelope with his name on it and the ring beside it on Reg’s desk. His hand trembled as he reached out to grab it. The ring was cool in his but burned as he slipped it on his finger. He rubbed the side of his finger over the engraved writing, searching for the feeling he’d hoped he’d find.

He never opened the letter.

He’d gotten so close to not getting caught, but Walburga always knew.

There had been throwing, cursing, glass shattering, betrayal and broken bonds fought to be mention in the screaming match between the remaining Blacks. But Sirius had sworn to leave with that ring, and he did.

“'Cause when I'd fight, you used to tell me I was brave,” Sirius said, his voice cracking as he spoke. All it came rushing into his head at once, his mothers screams, Regulus’ cries, his own screams. His mother never managed to break them apart, they’d left each other on their own.“And if I'm dead to you-“

“Why were you at the wake?” Regulus asked again, this time in his mind. He needed to hear Sirius say that he missed him, that he cared. Regulus didn’t need his guilt, regret, or sorrow. He craved the satisfaction of being wanted.

Nobody missed Regulus the way Sirius did.

“Cursing my name, wishing I stayed,” Regulus thought before instantly regretting the notion.

He could never wish he’d stayed, there was nothing left to live for. Everything was still worth living for, but nothing strong enough to keep his soul afloat.

“Look at how my tears ricochet,” Sirius whispered as he wiped his cheeks, wondering what Regulus thought of his mess.

Sirius wanted to hear Regulus’ voice one last time. When Regulus spoke now there was a lingering echo that kept him far away. He couldn’t even remember the last thing Regulus told him.

“And I can go anywhere I want. . .” Sirius started, shaking his head as he spoke. “Anywhere I want- just. . .not home.”

Home.

Where was Sirius’ home?

It wasn’t Grimmauld Place, but it no longer felt like the Potter’s house.

Sirius always felt like he was searching for a place to call home. And even though he could never fully return, he always found himself drifting back to Grimmauld Place before turning the tide.

“And you could aim for my heart, go for blood. But you would still miss me in your bones,” Regulus said in a low whisper, less for Sirius and more as an affirmation for himself. Selfishly he thought, if nobody missed him and everyone moved on at least he had Sirius.

Regulus didn’t want Sirius to stay depressed forever, but Regulus wanted to stay missed.

“And I still talk to you and-“ Sirius began, but he couldn't keep going, his heart fell too heavy in his chest.

“When you can't sleep at night,” Regulus mumbled, finishing Sirius' sentence. He was there when Sirius spoke at the darkest of hours. Regulus basked in those conversations, the ones they never had in person. Sometimes they were light-hearted, other times they were so heavy Regulus fell back below the surface.

“I didn't have it in myself to go with grace and so I sank beneath the waves,” Regulus explained slowly, more for himself than for Sirius. He always tried not to imagine his passing, the rushing water, inferni, the locket, but no matter what he always tasted the lingering bile of poison in his throat.

“You killed yourself, but it killed me just the same,” Sirius argued, his words twisted in his frustration. There was this inexplicable feeling in Sirius' chest that never left him. It pulled and tugged and never left Sirius alone, instead it kept Sirius locked in his room, drowning in tears and living in lost in time. “Cursing my name, wishing I stayed.”

“You would've turned into your worst fears,” Regulus shook his head. Sirius deserved to leave Grimmauld Place those decades ago, Regulus just always wished he didn't have to. “And you're tossing out blame, drunk on this pain.”

“Crossing out the good years,” Sirius said bittersweetly, they did have good memories, just not enough to cease the ache and years lost.

“And you're cursing my name, wishing I stayed,” Regulus said sadly, his voice shallow like a whisper. It was selfish of Sirius to wish Regulus had never gone, but he still did, he always did.

“Look at how my tears ricochet,” Sirius said one last time to his brother, before turning to walk away, but when he looked up to meet Regulus’ eyes, he wasn’t there.

**********

reblog’s appreciated <3

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[fairycosmos]

hi i have been having a series of shitty days and i need some reminder that it's okay if people don't like me and that i don't need to please everyone

hii it's completely normal not to be liked by every single person you meet, just like it's normal not to like every single person you meet. i think a big part of navigating the world authentically is internalising that as much as possible. i would even argue that being liked by some people is more of an insult than anything because they're not decent or well intentioned, so gelling with them would be a cause for concern. plus being liked by everyone ever might indicate that you’re not standing up for your own boundaries and convictions; it's not always an inarguably good thing. and i get it, i'm exactly like you, this pathological need to not be alienated - but ultimately i think it's ok to let yourself be misunderstood. because when people don't know you intimately, or even when they do, they're not going to get the full context of who you are in their interactions with you. and if they're dead set on reading you a certain way, then they're going to. that's their perspective. you're not some embarrassment because of it. and honestly, pleasing everyone 24/7 is literally like slow self strangulation. it doesn't help build substantial connections at all, it's not worth making a martyr of yourself for some fleeting sense of validation that goes nowhere. you know? anyway, even if none of that is the case here, incompatibility is just a part of social interaction i think - and that's all it is. two people not meshing, or projecting a little onto each other. sure the ego gets a little bruised, but that's healthy from time to time. you can laugh at it, cry a little over it - whatever you need, but you'll always move on from it. it just feels like life or death because our brains are hard wired to see rejection as rejection from the pack or whatever, which meant dying back in the day, but now it just means ur crypto guy coworker doesn't care about you that much. LOL

[1111jenx]

This is totally random (and please ignore if this is weird) but I love your content and I feel like you would entertain this thought process lol I also don’t have anyone personal who is really into astrology so I can’t really voice these to anyone but I have a small hot take.

People always talk about how dramatic Leo Moons are but I would say Scorpio Moons are more. And the only reason I say this is my roommate and I have the same Sun, Mars, and Rising so we can be similar but this boi is sooooooo dramatic like I can’t with him sometimes lmao

That might not be good enough evidence but I mean he’ll act like he’s dying and all he did was drop something and I’m over here like wat. Both Pisces with Aries Rising and Aquarius Mars. He’s a Pisces Mercury and Aquarius Venus and I’m an Aquarius Mercury and Pisces Venus lol so idk

Anyway, hope you’re having a lovely day and love your stuff 💛

Hey love!

Thank you so much for dropping by my ask and share this thought process with me, I'm very honoured to have seen this hehehe and I'd love nothing more but to discuss this with you🥰

I would like to say that you're actually not wrong haha! I actually briefly went over this idea in one of my astro notes a while back and it is actually really clear how while both Leo and Scorpio are fixed Moon, Leo are entertainers therefore they seek for approval from the people more often than not, they need the validation to be constant in order for their emotion growth in the case of the Leo Moon. However, natives with Leo Moon possess a special kind of duality which helps them deal with different crowd of people differently. There's no "set" values or reactions when it comes to the Leo Moon, as one moment they can be the calmest and most rational people in the world when the time calls for it and the next, dancing on the table at the party.

In addition to that, I wouldn't say Leo Moons are dramatic people. They're dramatic when it comes to their emotions or when their emotions/thoughts are threatened. Their inner world is beautiful and contain so much good in this world, it is their "stage" if you may. However, they can be surprisingly private with this side of them, as it also comes with a lot of things such as their generosity and kindness towards people they care for, and they try their best to hide it out of fear of being used bahaha. Leo Moons are not dramatic people in my opinion, they're warm and welcoming people. If you get a reaction out of them, you probably are in their very inner circle haha!

For the case of the Scorpio Moon, I would say that the reason while they can be seen as dramatic is because they're defensive with their emotions. Don't get me wrong, I stand my ground when I said all fixed Moon are very sensitive when it comes to their feels. But you also must remember, Scorpio Moon is fixed water. Water moves sneakily in ways we can't predict, one minute it makes its way slowly and gradually down the stream yet the next minute roaring loud and constant waves on the beach. The main idea here is that it is actually fixed. So stubborn, lack of flexibility and a very slow kind of energy is highlighted here. Scorpio Moons are sarcastic by nature, they thrive when others enjoy their sense of humour and they enjoy getting a reaction out of people. Curious, cunning and a bit of a jokester, Scorpio Moon is definitely the type to make jokes so dark that people can't help but shake their head and giggle a little. They like to get that out of people. Scorpio Moons are dramatic as a way to get a reaction out of people in my opinion haha but more often than not, to also assert their dominant. This is a topic we'll talk another day when we have time:)

Your friend seems to also have a Pisces Mercury haha and this is a great observation I have been working on actually! Pisces Mercury are amazing story tellers, they know when to gently exaggerate the story in order to make it more interesting! They also enjoy pushing people's passive-aggressiveness out of them. So that can be the reason for his dramatic behaviours as a whole bahah

I hope this tid bits on my pov on the placements help you a little and I entertained your thought process right:) Thank you again for dropping by angel🤍

love,

saint jenx🪐

[still-a-morosexual-help]

So initially I wasn't the biggest fan of them being related, though when they first started hinting at a connection between Lilith and MC I had a "OH GOD. OH DAMN. PLEASE DON'T BE LILITH'S REINCARNATION" moment so finding out MC was just a distant relative was a relief but not one I was necessarily happy with? Because of all the "Is this technically incest!?" feelings I had at the time.

But it did grow on me? I think all the human au's I had roaming free in my head helped me get over it? When writing or thinking up human Aus I try to make them as close to the Canon situation as possible so it'd be:

The brothers and Lilith all living in a foster home with only Lucifer and Satan being blood related,  but they all see each other as a found family. MC would be a distant (and I mean distant enough it equals to the thousands of years that separate Canon MC and Lilith) cousin who they don't even find out is related to Lilith until much later (after Lilith either leaves and joins a more permanent family or....well dies I guess).

The way I see it, it'd be the same as a group of "we're so close we see each other as siblings" friends wanting to date the distant/estranged relative of one of the group members.

So yeah, now I see the whole Lilith, MC, brothers thing as "Incest if I'm willing to reach so far my arm tears straight outta my socket" so yeah.

Though obviously it's completely valid if people are still uncomfortable with it.

ANXUSJWMNZRATQVX8 Belphie would have totally murdered MC if they didn't bring up the whole Lilith thing! And I'm so upset they all just get over it? Like damn I love Belphie no lie, but are we just gonna gloss over the fact that he was 110% okay with the genocide of the entire human race???????

I also have this headcanon that MC has chronic pain that flares up on and off after Belphie murdered them, cause remember how the ghost of the fortune teller,Gisella (?), on the train said you never forget the feeling of dying and MC had a pretty violent death so.....

I also HC that there are days, specially when the pain is bad, where they can't stand to be near Belphie and that while he was initially upset by this and was persistent about still being with them by around mid S2 or S3 he's learnt to identify those days and understand why MC can't even look at him then and he makes himself scarce and sleeps away the day in an out of the way dark, corner probably with Beel around for emotional support because honestly those days would hurt him as much as MC.

I like that in the Canon storyline that none of the brothers were 100% okay with Belphie right after Lesson 16 and how they went out of their way, more so than usual, to make sure MC wasn't alone with him? I maybe reading into that too much but I liked it.. 

And I mean generally MC's a very calm, collected, headstrong and stubborn character so as frustrating as it is I understand why they would want to help Belphie get along with the others again. "I died for this shit, so I might as well see it through" kinda mentality

I didn't initially like the two timelines cause it made me really sad imagining the one MC left behind and to ease that angst I always imagined since MC changed the past their original timeline -the future timeline- got erased with a new future unfolding. but someone on tumblr posted a headcanon with evidence on why they thought Barbatos joined the two timelines together so that they live with the extra day of memories and experiences that came from the original timeline AND I JUMPED THE HELL ON THAT BOAT & actually recently wrote something about it. Here have the link and some shameless self promotion cause I'm an attention whore:

Deadlines

"When Mammon meets his soulmate he's going to punch them in the face. It doesn't matter if he'll only find out who exactly his soulmate is when one of them is on their deathbed. He's still going to punch them."

Um anyway that's all my thoughts on 16, 17 & 18 (I think. There might be more that I can't remember at the moment tbh) and since I rambled to you about it you are now contractually obligated to rant to me about yours. Sorry, those are the rules🤷🏽

About the thing you said about Diavolo and his reasons I honestly have nothing else to add, I mean the reasons you gave make total sense and I'm okay with just what the canon gave too so

It wasn't sloppy at all! My rambles are always too long and all over the place!

Edit: I forgot! As to why they were related, yeah I don't think it was completely necessary but still I can see reasons behind it?

1. As a way to make MC other. A devilgram and a little line in S3 makes it seem like MC is neither angel, demon OR human. I HC that Lilith died right as she was changing from angel to demon making her one of a kind and that pure "Fallen Angel" magic came with her when she was reincarnated and then was passed down to MC.

2. How lilith's known as the mother of monsters in some myths and how MC is related to her... I just think it's neat. Plus MC has an insane amount of raw power - truly a monster in their own right

3. It's closure for the brothers. They never got to see Lililth as a human, never got to see her grow up, fall in love, start her own family. The last they saw her she was in pain and dying. They don't get to see if she was happy. MC's the closest proof they have to that. That she found love and had a family and was happy

4. It's closure for lilith. Just the fact that her spirit passed down from descendent to descendent along with her magic till she could see her brothers again just to see if they were happy and to tell them she had lived a long happy life. I don't know I'm really happy she was able to do that

5. The brothers find similarities between Lilith and MC but they're rare and 6 of the 7 brothers already liked MC before they found out about MC being her descendent. And even Belohie starts to like them as their own person. Just I always worry that they like MC just because of the connection between them and Lilith and that they see MC as a replacement  but then U remember their Canon interactions and it feels like the brothers actually forget about that connection. MC is Lilith's legacy, they're living proof that you can be born in one world but find your true home in another, but they're not defined by Lilith. They're their own person. Even their magic is their own considering Lilith used the last of hers when she helped them in Lesson 15/16

[khaleesiofalicante]

"I stand in the mess of myself" -Colum McCann

That first timeline was so soft and lovely and kdvskdjif I AM GETTING TOO MUCH FLUFF ITS GETTING CONCERNING

The scene with Max and Rafe made me 🥺🥺

Jia is the only president I will ever love😎

“Am I still the prettiest man in the world?” Alec chuckles. Magnus bops his nose. “Always.” I'M DYING💙💙💙

Jdhskdbidjd Magnus is unhinged as fuck lmao

Communication is so sexy tbh

The way I love these two-

Magnus making sure Alec knows how important this is and that he deserves all the recognition- just...fuck

Alec looks at him. He smiles at Magnus. And there it is. The higher power. Malec comparing each other to some higher power is my favorite thing EVERY OK?!?

“Perfect enough to put inside my heart.”💙💙

Alec practically runs out of the door. Magnus chuckles to himself and follows through. Who said being horny can't be productive at the same time??

“Oh for fuck’s sake! Can’t they like walk home?” Alec demands. “Max is six.” “So? He has legs.” My man has priorities jdhdkdjdl

Empathy is so fucking beautiful and sexy 😍

Max is a cheesy little shit and I am love him!!! He is just so innocent and cute🥺🥺🥺

In timeline two Max was indeed acting like an asshole. I mean he was waiting for David to text him and go to that party but it didn't happen😭 Still, asshole behavior

Honestly tho Alec has every right to decide what to do and if he wants to move on or not. Why do people forget that???

He forgot about his promise. It’s fine. Not all of them are Lightwood-Banes anymore anyway. AHH JUST STOP THE PAIN😭😭😭

“So that’s why it ended, huh,” Alec hums. “Raisins and bad luck.” Them talking here is kinda sad but also you can see how they are trying to heal and that is beautiful!!

Elyaas is so done with them and I can't blame him smh

Yall are terrifying together, love. Have a nice day :)

That was so fucking sad but I'm so damn glad they could talk to each other!!!

“I won’t let anyone hurt the blue-eyed boy.” “Good,” Alec smiles. “We won’t let anyone hurt you either.” THEM>>>>>

Them taking comfort on each other and knowing they can rely on the other to help them through this all is the most amazing thing ever and in this essay I will-

Omfg I love their reactions when Max told them about moving to London. Both of them went like ✨No :)✨

Max taking over Edom!!! I fucking knew it!!!!! Hell yeah let's go!!!!

His fake binder is honestly a mood af😎

“I just think it could be different. It’s like how Rafael wants to be a politician because he wants the government to be different.” This parallel is *chef kiss*

No thoughs, head empty except ✨mavid kids✨

“Shinyun Jung. Will you do me the honor of being my mentor?” kdvwkdkdlebi loved this so much. She indeed has big dick energy 🥰

Shinyun and Max living and working together, being competitive and skilled little shits its my favorite aesthetic💙💙 also Noodle???? I want to met them!!!

He would make such a gorgeous Prince of Edom and I think David can agree ;)

I love how Shinyun and Alec are like: I don't trust you but I trust Magnus so I'm going to behave idheieejek

And that’s what matters, doesn’t it?

That we all learn to care about something more than ourselves.

Maybe it’s a person. Maybe it’s a place.

It doesn’t matter.

Not as long as we care.

✨A FAVE ONCE AGAIN✨😍😍

“Take it,” Magnus says. “Take some of my strength.” not this parallel too, please it's too much udhdkdjdld

For two grown up men who have really qualified jobs and are successful... They sure are idiots!!!

Can we talk about how the whole scene with Izzy and Maryse was so fucking accurate and true??? ✨God, I love women ✨💙💙💙

No, you don't understand. They love LOVE each other!! Yes, that's a valid reason to scream😭

HE ATE THE FUCKING RAISINS!! OMFG HE HATES THEM!! SCREAMING AND CRYING I WILL NEVER RECOVER

What is love if not eating each other's raisins when needed?

And finally: YOU GOT TO BE FUCKING KIDDING ME DANI! I AM IN PANIC AND I TOTALLY BLAME YOU! WHY DO THE BEST CHARACTERS SUFFER SO MUCH?!?!😭

I will go scream in my room brb. And yes I'm still one chapter behind what about it?? jk, jk😂

Song rec: No Goodbyes by Dua Lipa

So in conclusion:

Women? Yes.

Raisins? No.

Wonderful life lessons 🥰🥰🥰

This is Max working for Edom like