#anyways op youre so right pls

[gunmetal-ring]

Thats partly why im absolutely baffled that ppl ship steve w eddie and/or billy bc like the boy could not be straighter and no there is absolutely NO internalized homophobia there, the reason he was homophobic in s1 is bc he was a homophobe (and also bc jonathan is so obviously bi) and now hes not homophobic bc thats character growth and the reason hes obsessed w trying to find love is bc hes desperately trying to get over nancy and he cant bc i think he genuinely does love her and want her to be the mother of his children bc he realizes that its ok not to have educational/work ambition, and also bc he has been abused and neglected by his parents and is determined to do better and also needs to feel loved

Anyway that digressed but if someone wants to explain to me their headcanon that Steve is bi/gay im happy to listen but i just cant imagine a world in which id actually be convinced. Also if you take that invitation as an opportunity to be a sociopathic jackass dont bother lmao hellcheer4lyfe

[maxlarens]

I got a lot to say so it might be long,

starting with, thank you for the Charles smau and the Lando fic <3

it took me time to choose an emoji lol but I've been doing an internship and time goes by way too quickly, but I decided to go for the strawberry one 🍓

and since you said you wanted to write for driver! reader, and that she was very intense about driving, maybe you can write something about her racing while she's sick/not feeling well but she still wins the race

woo hi again!!! literally no big deal! i hope ur internship is going well, it’s awesome that you’re doing one!! but yeah literally real life is always the priority as much as i’d also like to spend all my time on here lol. but anyway yay the strawberry is super cute 🍓🥺

and YES lol driver!reader is consuming my thoughts right now. i have other things i should be writing instead of this but i smashed this out in a few days😭 i decided not to make it a win because i have a thing brewing for driver!readers first win and i didn’t want to use up all my ideas for that. anyway!!! as usual thank u for the ask and pls enjoyyy 🤗

OP: extraordinary machine

pairing(s): oscar piastri x mercedes driver!reader

summary: you push yourself to your limits. (also sorry i simply don't know enough technical terms about racing for this to be fully accurate but i hope it works)

word count: 3.4k+

Here is a fact— you’ve got a fever of 39.4 degrees.

Here is another, indisputable fact— you’re racing in Imola today.

The fever had come on overnight after a persistent tickle in your throat all weekend. A mildly sore throat had turned rapidly to a snotty nose, full body chills and sweat pouring off you like you’d just run a marathon. You’re wearing a puffer jacket over your racing suit and it’s twenty-nine degrees out. You feel freezing, you feel delirious, and you’re eating Sour Patch Kids by the handful to keep the sugar rush going. Your race engineer, Rachel, keeps telling you that it’s okay if you can’t race. George can step in, I promise. You keep telling her I’m fine. I’m fine. I can race. But the expression on her face says she doesn’t believe you.

You’re telling practically everyone who’ll listen that you’re getting in that fucking car today. Rachel, George, your mum who keeps calling. Lewis keeps looking at you like you’re about to keel over and die and you want to scream at him you did this! Brazil 2015. You had a fever. You got on the podium. If I can’t do this and you can, what does that mean? But you don’t because that’s your 39.4-degree fever talking and this isn’t about being better than Lewis. It’s about knowing without a doubt that you can still get in that car and race your ass off.

Your phone keeps buzzing with texts from Susie that reassure you that you’d be disappointing no one at all if you had to let George take over this race. You’re not letting down women everywhere and you’re not letting down the team. I know Susie, you keep saying, but I’m still racing.

You know you’ve got to convince Toto when Rachel starts a hurried conversation with George and he starts grabbing his fireproofs like it’s a sure thing he’ll be driving in your place. Bundled up in your coat like it’s the middle of winter, you stomp over to Toto’s office and barge in.

“I’m racing,” you tell him without any preamble.

His head snaps to look at you, expression only mildly surprised— not that you would even notice if you didn’t spend so much time around him. He gives you a once over, eyes lingering pointedly on your jacket and then he raises his eyebrows, “It is twenty-nine degrees outside.”

You suck your teeth in frustration, “I know. The car will be hot. I can race.”

He frowns.

You plead, “Toto. Do not take me out of that car. I can do this.”

He shakes his head, “I can see you sweating from here. You’re not well.”

You shake your head frantically, ignoring how your vision starts spinning, “Let me race. If I fuck up you can put George in the car for Monaco. If I fuck up you can even replace me. I don’t care. Just let me drive today.”

Toto’s face pinches in the way it does when he’s considering something, you can see cogs turning in his head as he evaluates what you’ve said and decides if he should listen to it.

He sighs, “I am not putting that kind of ultimatum on you,” your heart stutters and stops in your chest, and you hold your breath, “Okay. Against my better judgement, I will let you race today.”

You let out an audible breath, it edges out into a sob that makes your aching body curl into itself. You press the heels of your palms into your eyes for a moment to suppress the urge to give in to your fever. It would be easier to give up, it would be easier to let George take your seat for the race so you could crawl into bed and cry the fever out. But none of this has ever been easy for you. You’ve fought tooth and nail to get here, you won’t forfeit a race and let people say you took the easy way out.

You look up. Toto looks concerned.

“Don’t make me regret this.”

“You won’t.”

You practically stumble onto the asphalt before the national anthem, passing your coat off to Rachel while your trainer wipes your forehead with a towel as if you’ve just finished a full-body workout. Your shoulders feel tense, you can’t stand up straight without shuddering so you’re hunched over awkwardly hoping it doesn’t come off looking too strange.

People are still milling about, setting things up while the drivers assemble. You don’t really notice on account of the fever state you’re in, but you end up standing between the McLaren boys. You must brush against Oscar because he looks down at you, eyebrows furrowed, mouth set in a line and his eyes wide like a puppy dog. You get lost in them a little— because of the fever. Definitely.

“Dude,” Oscar says to you, “You’re really hot.”

On your other side, Lando breaks into a fit of laughter. You frown, your brain trying the puzzle through the sentence. You feel foggy, your eyes feel heavy. You need more Sour Patch Kids, or a shot of espresso, or five Red Bulls. Max could swing it for you.

Oscar leans past you and swats at Lando’s shoulder, “She’s burning up, stupid.”

Lando’s laughter pauses, and he says seriously, “Oh shit.”

Suddenly, you’re being twisted around and you’re wincing at the contact on your shoulder that makes it ache even more. Lando puts a hand on your forehead and then immediately rips it away.

“Eugh. You’re sweaty.”

The back of Oscar’s hand replaces it. You twist away, brushing it off.

“You’ve got a fever,” he tells you, his voice thick with concern for you, “Have you told anyone? Does Toto know? Lewis?”

Instead of answering you press a hand over your eyes and crack your neck, trying to work through some of the stiffness in your back. You roll your shoulders and stand up as straight as possible, pushing through that aching, sickly feeling that runs through your whole body. When you finally drag your hand from your face— a thin sheen of sweat coming with it— Oscar is staring at you with a deep-set frown on his mouth. At his shoulder, Lando looks at you with a markedly less severe, but still concerned, expression.

“I’m fine, Oscar,” you insist.

You’re not. He knows you’re not. It doesn’t matter, you don’t want to seem weak. Not barely thirty minutes before the race. You can’t have either of them thinking you’d be easy for an overtake or that you’ll back out of a fight first. Off the track, fine— you’ve been vulnerable and honest with both of them at times. On the track is a different story. This is Formula One. You’re not here to make friends. They are not here to make friends.

“Mm,” Oscar hums, “Pretty sure you’re not.”

“You’re sweating bullets,” Lando adds, “Can see it from here.”

Something white-hot and pissed off flares up your spine. Oscar is not this kind of person, even on track; but the suspicion that he’s just trying to eliminate you as competition rises anyway. You think it because if the situation were flipped, you’d be weighing the pros and cons of having a sick driver on the track. Their weaknesses, what it means if they’re distracted. It doesn’t make you a good person, but you’re already pretty sure you aren’t one.

“I am fine,” you bite.

Oscar’s expression drops. Into something not quite offended… accepting, maybe? Resigned? It closes off to you, is what you mean. That’s fine, you’re trying to close yourself off to him. You’re re-drawing a line that you’ve been crossing without a thought for at least two years now. You’re not here to make googly eyes at Oscar and let him put his hand on your fever-ridden forehead and have him reprimand out-of-line, so-called professionals for you. You’re here to get in that car every Sunday and put your life on the line for a shiny trophy and fucking glory. Even if you’ve got a fever. Even if you’ve got a weird crush on Oscar Piastri.

“I’m racing,” you add in a different tone, feeling as if you’ve been a bit harsh on a well-meaning Oscar, even if you mean what you’re thinking.

Oscar nods, and says, “Okay,” in a way that really means, ‘If you say so, then it is’.

In the car, on the tarmac, sitting in your starting grid position, you’re shitting bricks.

Your cheeks are squeezed tight into your helmet, you can feel sweat, slick and soaking through your balaclava. Your arms hurt, your legs hurt, your ass hurts where it’s pressed into the seat. You’re not crying, but your mouth— hidden away by your helmet— is open like you’re about to. Set into a grimace that you breathe raggedly out of. Toto says something over the radio before the lights go out, you don’t hear it. You’re too busy regretting how earnestly you’d begged him to let you race. It would have been better if George had taken over. It might have been better if you’d passed out during the national anthem so you really had no choice but to sit it out. No one could say you weren’t committed to this sport if that had happened. They’d have plenty to say about women and their weak constitutions though.

You’re on autopilot when the lights go out. One second you’re freaking out like it’s your first time in a car, the next second everything is fading into background noise and you’re fighting a Ferrari and a McLaren for your original grid position. Twenty of you tear down the straight to turn two and you find yourself slotting easily into what you think is P4. Ferrari— not the same one— in front of you. Your mirrors reveal the McLaren behind you. It’s Oscar, you’re sure. You can tell by the way he sticks to your ass. Every nudge of the car you make he makes with you.

You press the radio button, “That Piastri behind?”

Crackle, “Yeah.”

“Knew it. He’s up my butt, Rach.”

“Okay. Go faster then. Not sure what to tell you.”

You make a face. You weren’t looking for sarky advice, you were trying to commiserate. You press the button and make a vaguely mocking neh-neh noise that gets a laugh and then radio silence because you’re supposed to be fucking concentrating. Which, okay, fair.

You press the throttle, done with trying to manage your tyres for the moment and taking Rachel’s comment as permission. You tear away from Oscar, stopping his fight to overtake you through the chicane in its tracks. You start slowly gaining on the Ferrari in front of you, its red rear wing growing closer and closer.

“Sainz in front?” you ask, already knowing the answer.

“Yup,” Rachel confirms before rattling off some lap times when you ask for them.

By lap thirty-something, you’re on Sainz’s ass like Oscar was on yours. You’re fighting him through every chicane, threatening him on the straights and generally behaving in a way that you know for a fact is putting him on edge. But Carlos isn’t giving up P3 without a fight.

A safety car goes out around lap forty, and you pit. Everyone ahead of you does as well. Oscar doesn’t, Oscar is lucky to have gone in earlier. Rachel tells you he’d made up four places after being forced to box for some tyre issue. You feel a strange mix of pride and jealousy swirl in your chest as you all file into a discordant line behind the safety car.

Verstappen leads the pack, as per usual. Then Oscar, Sainz and you. Leclerc is behind you, then Lando. You’re in P4, right where you started and right where you’ve been fucking sitting the entire race so far. twenty-five laps to at least make it onto the podium. Then you’ll be happy. Or not quite happy, you’d need pole for that. Content. You’d be content.

Max starts weaving. The safety car goes off and Max keeps you all ready and waiting until the exact millisecond that he decides the race can properly begin again. You hate when he does this— you know that’s exactly why. Eventually, finally, he gets going.

You have to run defence like crazy for a few laps to keep Leclerc behind you until everything is warmed up. The gap widens as you drive. At some point, you stop worrying about the Monégasque so much and focus your attention on car fifty-five like your life depends on it. The laps fly by as time ticks on. Twenty-five to go, twenty, fifteen, ten. You’re back on Sainz’s rear wheel, a gap of 0.2 to 0.3 that’s been consistent throughout this last stretch of the race. You’re watching him like a hawk, waiting for the smallest slip-up to take advantage of. Somewhere you can push, somewhere he’s weak. It’s hard— he’s covering all his bases. Not giving you an inch so you can’t take a mile.

You’re closing in on sixty-four laps— with only three to go— when he gives you that fucking inch. It’s in the first chicane. His wheel locks up, and he jerks the car slightly the wrong way, something like that. You get in his space and you push and he backs out first. You press down on the throttle and rocket past him, shouting FUCK! FUCK YES! to yourself.

P3. P3. God, you hope it’s P3.

You press the talk button, “Rach?”

“Yes, P3,” she barks, “Fucking, focus. Three laps to go.”

Those last three laps of Imola are some of the hardest of your life. Defending against Carlos is a task, of course, but it’s not even that. The sickness starts to creep back into your awareness as the adrenaline that had hit its peak during the overtake starts to subside. Two laps to go and you’re remembering the fever again. The sweat soaking your hair and streaking down the back of your neck. Your whole body is on fire and it aches everywhere. It feels like someone has taken a sledgehammer to the inside of your skull. You want so badly to close your eyes and drift away to sleep, but the car is flying through the air demanding your attention with the way it thuds against the track. You’ve got one lap to go and Carlos is on you like white on rice. You can’t afford to make a mistake until you’re firmly over that finish line.

So you don’t. You grit your teeth and you refuse.

Carlos is downright reckless in the last chicane, he tries to bait you by moving to one side and pushing but you’re not going to fall for something like that even if you’re near delirious from the 39.4-degree fever. Though surely it’s higher now, the car temp can’t be helping. You hardly realise you’ve crossed the finish line because you’re thinking so hard about how lightheaded you feel. On instinct, you slow down to a safe speed as Oscar’s McLaren enters your vision, but you think your toes have pins and needles and there’s some feeling tingling up into your shoulders. You blink hard and take a long sip of water so you can make it to the pits before your head starts to spin.

Crackle, “Where are you going? That was P3.”

“Huh?” you realise you’re following the other drivers instead of heading into the pits where you’re supposed to go, “Shit. Sorry.”

You edge back as carefully as you can, avoiding other cars that pass by, lucky you’ve not overshot too far so you can turn into the pits and park your car in front of the P3 sign without going around the entire track. That would be embarrassing. Or that would be more embarrassing than how disgusting you’re going to look when you take your helmet and balaclava off.

Toto, Rachel and a few of your engineers are there to meet you at the barricade when you clamber out of the car, unsteady on your feet. Rachel’s eyebrows are furrowed as she tries her best to smile at you, trying to put on a brave face even though you can tell she’s concerned you’re going to keel over. You brace yourself with a hand against the gate and tear your helmet off, then your balaclava. You’ve never been so fast to put a cap on your head, trying to cover the sweaty mess that is your hair right now.

“That was phenomenal work,” Rachel says, reaching to put a hand on your burning hot bicep, “You look fucking terrible, though.”

You suck in a ragged breath and you nod in agreement, trying to keep the black tinging your vision from taking over completely. 

“Get her something to drink,” you hear Toto bark, though it comes to your ears, muffled and staticky.

You’re fine. You’re fine. Until you’re not and your sweaty hand is slipping against the guardrail and your vision is fading into darkness and you’re falling face first into a metal railing. And, and, someone’s got their arm around your middle and you’re not on the ground with your face in the asphalt. You blink, hot tears— from what you assume is exhaustion— burning your eyelids. The arm around your middle is covered in something orange and black… Oscar. It’s Oscar who’s got you propped up, held firm into his body so your legs don’t collapse underneath you. The two of you sway and stumble for a second as you gain your footing back, your vision returning to normal, the buzzing in your ears going away.

“You’re good,” he breathes, “I’ve got you.”

You ignore the shiver that runs down your spine, you attribute it to your current state.

You remember the cameras that are on all of you right now. You try not to look panicked as you step away from him. You try to do it calmly and not frantically like you so want to. Toto has some electrolyte drink held out right in your face and you take it, chugging half of it straight away while you swivel around to face Oscar. You nod, feeling slightly better, but gripping the guardrail tight so as not to repeat earlier.

“Thanks,” you try a smile, but it’s just turning into a grimace because you feel like shit.

Oscar shakes his head, “Don’t mention it.”

“Great driving out there.”

His eyebrow goes up, touching the curl of his hair that peeks out from his cap.

“You’re kidding?” he says, tone laced with amusement.

You frown, which is much easier, “No. You drove great.”

He makes a face like ‘yes, obviously’, but somehow does it in a humble and endearing way that you find you like a little too much. It leaves you confused as to his point.

“No,” he scoffs, “Okay, yes. What I mean is that you just got P3 with a raging fever.”

You purse your lips, countering, “You don’t know I have a fever.”

His tongue darts out to wet his top lip, hiding the small smile that threatens on his face.

He shrugs, “Bit obvious, unfortunately.”

You roll your eyes. You think what he means is it’s a bit obvious because you look like absolute death. There’s probably sweat rolling off you in buckets, your cap is jammed on your head and your hair is probably sticking out at crazy angles. There were dark circles under your eyes before you left for the track this morning, they’re probably ten times worse now. He might also mean it’s obvious from the way your skin is burning hot, like touching a radiator in the middle of winter. Or, perhaps, the way you’d passed out into his arms a few minutes earlier.

You suck your teeth, “Well. I told you I was racing today.”

Oscar nods, biting the inside of his lip, “Yeah. You did.”

There’s more that neither of you are saying. A conversation that you’re trying desperately to have with prolonged eye contact, small little smiles and breaths out through the nose. You think it might be ‘I’m proud of you’ or ‘You’re very impressive and I’m going a little bit crazy about it’. That’s how you feel at least, somewhere in between the fever chills and the urge you’re suppressing to curl into a ball on the tarmac. This is okay, you think. You don’t have to be Oscar’s sworn enemy just because you’re both chasing the win. You can let him worry about you, but make sure he understands he can’t stop you from taking the things that you want. You can say things that mean other things and Oscar can smile at you like it’s something private for just the two of you.

You can be happy with that. Or not quite happy. Content.

🏎️ song inspo (fiona apple my Beloved) -> https://open.spotify.com/track/5h9Iek7Hp9wayRt7fBp7Ab?si=9PnuH5CDSC-qTurLPGiTwg

💫 fill out this form if you want to be added to my tag list: @clowngirlsstuff @leclercsluvs @c-losur3 @mael1pastry @papayamusha @mvk1ma

[if-loves]

etude op. 10 no. 4 (torrent)

// Yandere Dr Ratio

Sum: When the rain falls, so too does your tears.

wc: 3278

warnings: implied depression, suicidal thoughts, implied suicide attempt, ooc ratio probably

a/n: sorry for the disappearance LMAO uni was holding me by the neck and not in the way i enjoy

also this was a whole load of yapping ngl maybe i projected too much xd

also pls let me know if i missed any tags!! i’d hate to mistag/forget any cw tags

likes & reblogs are appreciated! asks are more than welcome ❤️

As a student with the honor of studying directly under the one and only Veritas Ratio, you’re more than used to the bluntness of his words and his marking. After all, he’s the Dr Veritas Ratio, arguably one of the most intelligent people, beings even, in the cosmos, and you’re just a mere academic. Sure, you’ve had your theories and whatnot, but compared to someone like Dr Ratio you’re basically a child.

Everyone tells you that you’re incredibly fortunate to be able to have someone as prestiged as him as your tutor, that you would take advantage of the opportunity and use it to further your own studies and knowledge, but you’re not quite sure if furthering your studies is truly what you desire. Coming to university was already an expectation from your parents, who in their right mind would reject them when they’ve already saved all that money exclusively for your studies?

You don’t think yourself to be especially smart or gifted in anything. To yourself, you are just a regular person who will go on to graduate, find a job, and maybe settle down if you were given the chance. You don’t expect much for and from yourself.

However, Dr Ratio clearly seems to think otherwise; or else why would he choose you of all people to be under his tutelage?

It has been almost twelve cycles of the moon, and you have yet to figure out why. The agreed period of mentoring is coming to its end, and he expects a full length thesis and three separate reports from you concerning your studies and experience under him, and you cannot for the life of you think of anything that could ever satisfy him. In the whole period of his guidance, he has never once scored you above a low thirties. The more it happened, the more you thought it was more of a him issue than yours - but that’s what people who can’t take criticism say, so perhaps you’ll refrain from thinking that thought.

The sun had long set, leaving your side of the planet at the mercy of the night. In front of you, a too-bright screen from your laptop glares at you with a blank page, as if demanding you finally do something instead of staring out of the window wistfully as if you were some widow lamenting the loss of her husband.

It takes you everything not to just give up and curl up in the warmth of your bed.

With the nth sigh of the day, you woefully start typing, frustration in the pits of your mind. What in the world could you even write about, anyway? The spinning of the sun? No, you’re sure there’s thousands of papers written about that, similarly for the moon; you’re not one for mathematics either, so that was out of the question. Science isn’t really your forte either, so your options for a paper that would gain Dr Ratio’s approval is about zero. Maybe you should just drop out.

When the world is asleep, you remain awake, and so too does something else.

~~~

There are still a few days left before your thesis and reports are to be submitted, and you can’t help but feel like you’ve written utter nonsense.

What in the world are you talking about? Even you didn’t know. Something about some mythicised substance known as Xuixzedlm, that’s apparently supposed to be what the deep oceans of your world is made of, but none have been able to explore said oceans due to their size, toxicity and the creatures lurking beneath its surface. In fact, almost 99% of the oceans have remained unexplored.

You kind of regret choosing such a substance to be the main part of your thesis, considering how little information there is of it. Sure, the main point of a thesis is to propose a theory to be proved, but for something like this where the research is extremely minimal, you’ve ended up circling back to your previous points due to the lack of ideas and, of course, proven research. Not that he’d care about your excuses.

Your days leading up to the submission date are spent typing, deleting, and referencing your paper. You’re a little less stressed about the report because it didn’t exactly require the same thinking as a thesis did, so you managed to finish those in a week. You’d still need to proofread them a few more times to ensure grammar and whatnot was perfect, but ultimately, its priority was far lower on your list.

However, something odd has happened recently.

One evening when you had finally arrived back home after spending most of the day at one of the university’s libraries, you found a silver key with lilac purple highlights and a strange symbol in the middle. You’d asked your parents, but they hadn’t a clue either, leading to some concern that your room may have been broken into. There were a few off parts about that theory, some being that none of your belongings were missing, there was no evidence of lock tampering on your windows, and most of all, why said person would leave an expensive and important looking key on your table.

The sudden and suspicious appearance of the key led to you keeping it on your person at all times, for a reason you’re not exactly quite sure of other than because it felt right. There’s an inexplicable familiarity to it, as if it belongs to you, but you can never seem to recall where you’ve seen it before, if you ever have in the first place.

Another weird thing has been happening ever since you found the key - you’ve been feeling a strange desire to enter the toxic ocean.

The sounds of the waves splashing against the shore invites you in your dreams, and you always take a step forward, one step after another until the water almost touches your toes. The sun is setting upon you, the breeze gently blowing; the sight in front of you is the picture of ethereal. Just as you take one more step, just as you fall into the abyss, someone pulls you back and you are jolted awake.

Scholars say dreams are the subconscious taking its turn, toying with fantasies and fears indiscriminately. Sometimes they mix, giving birth to hopes that only end in hopelessness, happiness that only ends in despair. If this is true, does your subconscious desire death?

~~~

Veritas Ratio has always thought himself as logical. Most have thought the same of him as well, the rest thinking him some sharp-tongued snake that will not hesitate to bite them should he see fit.

When it comes to you however, he feels an unexplainable feeling in his chest and head, a desire that has only grown since the moment he chose you to be under his guidance for a year. His harshness may not reflect it, but it is merely his way of showing he cares - by being extra critical of your work so that you know how to improve. Veritas Ratio truly wants nothing but the best for a student like you.

Lately, this feeling has grown much in size and desire, leaving him finding trouble in resisting it. It lingers like a persistent headache, and acts up when you are around, leaving him in a constant battle for retention of sanity. His mental fortitude currently leaves him with the upper hand, but who knows for how long.

For someone who prides themself on being logical, he sure feels illogical as he stares at your student ID photo.

It’s one of your least flattering pictures he’s sure, but he finds himself staring at it all the same. The nuisance in his head keeps telling him frankly worrisome thoughts, but he feels no desire to act upon them… at least, the sane part of him doesn’t.

He knows there’s something special about you, and some selfish part of him doesn’t want this mentorship to end, to let you go. There’s no way of being able to guarantee ever seeing you again, so what if…

No. Irrationality has no place in his ideals, let alone in his life.

~~~

You’ve submitted your thesis and reports to him, and now you sit in front of him with your heart pounding in your chest. Is there anything scarier than the judgment of your teacher?

Your hands are laid on your lap, the key in your pocket. The coldness of it transcends the fabric of your pants, a constant reminder of the mystery it holds, and the thoughts it brings. Even now, you find your heart yearning for the sea.

You’re afraid to look at him. You’re afraid of what his expression could tell you, of the disapproval you’re expecting. You’re afraid of disappointing him once again, afraid of his rejection and the harsh words that will inevitably leave his lips. He will berate you once more, and you will be left to silently take it because truthfully, you know he’s right.

The silence continues, and you feel a sudden dizziness and the urge to throw up. You wish the sea would swallow you whole.

“I do not have enough time to finish reviewing everything today, so proper feedback will be given one week from now in person. As for the next few days, they shall continue as normal, as you are still under my tutelage. Do not forget, you still have readings to finish before tomorrow’s class.” He shuts his laptop and takes his alabaster head with him, once again leaving you to drown in the torrent of self-deprecation.

The sea embraces all, doesn’t it? It will lap up all those who dare to offer it their lives, no matter what achievements the person has made in their life, no matter if they are even a person at all. The sea… welcomes all.

(It’ll welcome you, right?)

~~~

After you left the university, you found yourself on the train to the beach. Night is upon the city, but the ocean doesn’t sleep.

People filter out of the trains one by one, until only you are left in the carriage. Announcement after announcement of stops and the sound of the train’s wheels scraping the tracks below it are the only disturbances in the otherwise peaceful silence. Despite the quietness, you cannot hear yourself. The key in your pocket feels like it is burning itself into your skin, but it is also the only thing keeping you awake, a reminder that you are still alive.

You wonder if the ocean too will eat the key, or if it will sink into its depths. Will you sink to the depths?

The train stops at its end, and your legs automatically move. You walk until you hear the sound of waves crashing onto the shore, until you are stopped by a barrier. In an act of madness (or is it desire?), you scale the wall until there is no more to scale, until you see the other side.

There is a certain beauty about the ocean that you can’t quite describe to anyone, that pictures cannot replicate. It brings you a sense of peace, like all will be right in the world. If you could just…

The jump down from the barrier is no easy task. It is a long way down, and the sand can only soften the drop so much; yet, you jump.

Something hurts, but you’re enamored by the sparkling surface of the water. It beckons you, inviting you to a new world beneath its surface, a place to be free of all worries and pains. A place to sleep peacefully, no nightmares or dreams to plague you. It offers you everything the world cannot.

You feel your bag drop off your shoulders, like a weight lifted. A hand takes the key out, holding it tightly as you walk towards the promise of a home. What mysteries will be answered by this new world?

You’d like to apologize to your parents for the disappointment that you are. You had neither the mental fortitude nor the drive to be a success, and you’d like to apologize to Dr Ratio for wasting a year’s worth of his time on an incompetent student like you. His time would have been better spent on honor students, not a mundane, average student like you. You are destined to be just another cog in the wheel, and once you rust, you will be thrown out just like everyone else has and will be.

You find yourself a step away from the water, just like in your dream. You think you see a door. The key in your hand burns hotter. The world pauses. You take a step.

The feeling of the liquid never comes, but being pulled does.

“Just what in the universe are you thinking?!” This voice… is familiar. This voice… Who is it? It can’t be Dr Ratio, no…

But those amber eyes, so familiar, it has to be…

But why? Why?

“I…” Words fail you, just like they always have. What could you possibly say to him? He must think you mad, unfit to graduate, unfit to live perhaps.

“Do you wish to be swallowed by the gaping abyss? For what? To prove the existence of Xuixzedlm? Do you think your life so worthless that you think sacrificing it for nothing is what will make it meaningful?!” He is… angry. You’ve never seen him like this. Dr Ratio doesn’t get angry. “So? Say something, anything, that could possibly help me understand why you’d attempt such an act of foolishness!”

“Why does it matter to you?!” You shout, wringing your arm free from his tight grip. He has pulled you far enough from the gentle ocean, far away from the door. You look back at it, and it remains floating above the water. The key is still in your hand.

“Are you so dull that you need to ask such a useless question?” He scoffs. He moves to grab your arm again, but you instinctively bring the hand holding the key to your chest, afraid that he would take it from you. His eyes, shades of intense amber, follow your hand and lock on to the key you hold. He frowns.

“Yes! Yes, I am! I am so utterly stupid that teaching me is a waste of time, that you should leave me alone! If… if I wasn’t here, then there’d be one less stupid person in the universe! Isn’t that what you want?” Are tears running down your face, or is the sky weeping on your behalf?

He stares at you, and his lips do not move. It goes on like this, until you are both drenched in the rain, clothes wet and only the tempting sound of the ocean, and the pitter-patter of raindrops blending into the dark waters. Moonlight briefly shines upon the both of you, and you see his face clear - there is no anger, only contemplation.

“If you have nothing more to say, then leave me alone.” You turn around and set your sights upon the floating door once more, the key still held to your heart. With a resolved mind, you once more walk towards the beckoning arms of the abyss, the promise of no tomorrow.

Dr Ratio doesn’t stop you until you are one foot in the water. There is a searing pain, but you are one step closer to the door, to a stagnancy that life could never offer you. You are one foot in the water when a familiar symbol appears on the door, like an eye staring at you. You are one foot out of the water when you realize what it is.

“You have lost your mind.” He says, pointedly. You struggle in his grip, but he doesn’t falter. If anything, his hold only tightens. The pain from the water is nothing compared to the pain of losing freedom.

“Let- me- GO!” You desperately push against his chest, legs swinging. Why couldn’t he just let you go? Why did he care so much? What value do you bring to him, other than more evidence that he is far more blessed than the rest of the universe ever could be?

“Struggling will do you no good. Stay still, and I would not have to restrain you like this.” He glares at you from the corner of his eye as he brings you further away from your salvation, and the final straw is when he wrestles the key out of your hand. You’re inconsolable as he takes you past the barrier, brings you to his vehicle, and takes you to the place you can only assume is his apartment.

You let him guide you to the bath and clean your injured foot with a gentleness that is unbecoming of him, and he runs you a bath all while you grieve. Both of you say nothing as he treats you like a child, and you let him bind you to the bedpost without any struggle. To struggle is to fight, to fight is to have a desire to spread your wings; you lost that the moment he took you away.

Dr Ratio, or rather Veritas as he insists you call him, has shown you such a different side of him that you don’t know what to make of it. He holds you at night like you’re lovers, kisses you like he means it. He dutifully takes care of you, and you do not respond in kind. Despite this, he treats you all the same, with no trace of the Dr Ratio you’ve known for the last year, and only of the Veritas that you’ve met ever since that night.

You never see the key again.

~~~

One day, he has packed up everything. You briefly wonder if this meant that he’d be leaving you behind, but to your disappointment, he brings you along. He has cuffed you to himself, a reminder of the rights you have lost when you let him have his way with you.

“Veritas,” his name tastes like poison. “Where are we going?”

“The IPC has assigned me to Penacony, the land of dreams.” He responds without hesitation, turning to face you. “Naturally, you’ll be coming with me.”

You want to say no. You want him to leave you here, to give you back your key, to bring you back to the sea. The scar on your foot is a reminder of what could’ve been, what he has taken from you, and you haven’t - or rather, will never - forgive him. He will never deserve your forgiveness.

“Have… have you told my family?” You whisper, your throat as dry as the sand on the beach. Your hands fidget, and you find yourself unable to look at him; but truthfully, you don’t need to. He has ensured that every part of him has been engraved into the depths of your brain, and carved into your heart.

“…There is no point dwelling on the past. I am your family now. Clinging to such bygones will only serve to erode your mind, and limit your ability to live life.” He is firm, sounding more like the Dr Ratio you knew. He holds the hand that he has chained to his own and brings it to lips, the band of silver gleaming in the sunlight. It is a reminder. A firm, cruel, reminder of who he really is.

Veritas Ratio is nothing more than an illogical, selfish, arrogant, cruel and lovesick beast who allowed his heart (if you could even call it that) to take the reins.

Veritas Ratio is nothing more than a liar.

[mccnstruck]

like LIKE you

characters: kazuha x gn!reader

tags: fluff, misunderstanding, more crack, reader is DENSE af, proofread, op was writing this while their crush was right behind them so they apologize if this is incoherent

a/n: @soleillunne ALY !1!!! HIIIII i had so so much fun writing this for kazuha and i hope you have much fun reading it as i did writing it!! this is for @ecrin-de-litterature's kiss don't tell event !! pls reblog and enjoy <3

- When you almost lost yourself in his eyes and hurriedly snapped your head away from him, you knew you were so screwed.  - Your racing heart knew.  - He’s cute. And he most likely knows that you think he’s cute. - You first saw Kazuha in your literature class when you had to sit next to him. He smiled at you before going back to his own work, thus leaving you both to do your respective duties.  - But as the weeks passed and class discussions were more frequent, you found yourself enjoying listening to Kazuha’s discussions on the text presented, sometimes bringing in your own input.  - His voice soothed your mind, and your heart clung onto every syllable he had spoken. His eyes sparkled everytime you listened to his thoughts-  - Ahem.

You were, inevitably, starting to crush on him. 

You walked into class and whispered a quiet prayer to yourself in hopes that you wouldn't reveal anything to him right now. 

And plus, Valentine's Day is such a cheesy day to confess! Besides the couples giggling and buying the really good chocolates, and seeing people talk to Kazuha, and noticing how cute he is when he laughs…

You internally smacked your head and chided yourself for the spiraling thoughts and sat in your seat. 

Kazuha smiled at you, before he resumed talking with with his friends. His friends snickered and patted his shoulder, before he covered his smile with the back of his hand. 

Huh. He never really gets flustered. Did he…

The bell rang, and his friends left the class, yelling out “Good luck!” before closing the door. 

Kazuha sat down and smiled at you once more, yet it was filled with excitement. “I’m sorry I didn’t greet you properly.”

You shook your head and smiled back. “It’s fine. Are you doing anything today?”

“For Valentine’s?”

You shook your head. 

“I was thinking of confessing to someone today. I’m meeting them by my locker after school.”

“You have a crush?!” 

Damnit, you thought.  

He laughed, and a soft red tinted his cheeks. “Mhm. I was thinking of sending them a poem with some sweets today.”

He showed you the gift and you internally recoiled. The gift was so unbelievably throughout, with your favorite sweets inside, along with a poem so sweetened the other person would become dizzy with love. It was beautiful, just like the grin on his face. 

Your heart shattered, and you wondered what you would do after school if you still had time after crying. 

“Kazuha…you put this together so nicely…” 

His grin widened, and he put the gift down. “I’m really glad you like it. It gives me a little bit of reassurance.” 

The teacher walked into the room, and both of you straighted your chairs to start the class. 

“So, because it’s Valentine's Day, we will do an activity…” 

Well, thank the teacher for rubbing it into your face.

Class went on for a begrudgingly long time, and the ache in your heart began to grow. Kazuha noticed your solemn expression and brushed your hands together. When you straightened yourself in a panic, you saw his face of concern. 

“Are you alright? You look stressed right now.”

“Uh.. yeah. Sorry, I have a project for another class that’s really stressful right now.”

He nodded, and you both resumed your work. The teacher droned on about the analysis of the text and the context of the author’s work, yet you couldn’t really get yourself to focus, not with this heartache that remains.

A thought rushed past your mind. What if this was for you?

You? That’s funny, if it didn’t hurt so much. There’s no point thinking about it anyways.

After some more time, class finally ended, and you packed your bag while Kazuha stood up. 

“Ah, I have to head out, I have something urgent to do for a class.” 

He put his hand on your shoulder and smiled. 

“I hope you finished this project of yours. Just let me know if you need anything, alright?”

You snapped your head back and felt your face burn. “Oh, thank you. I’ll see you later.” 

Kazuha left the room and you almost felt yourself succumb to the hot flare that passed your body. Your shoulder, where his hand was, almost felt weak to the touch, and you barely packed up your bag without having a heart attack. 

You looked to the floor and saw Kazuha’s gift underneath his desk. Quickly picking it up, you grabbed your bag and said your greeting to the teacher, before leaving the classroom. 

It was your free period, and you would finally decide on what to do with Kazuha’s gift. You wouldn’t want him to show up to his confession empty handed, or worse, his crush not show up at all. So, you would wait by his locker and make sure you run out before then. Alright. 

Well… it would be alright if it didn’t hurt so much.

And so, classes went on, droning about formulas and equations, and the minutes wouldn’t stop ticking, and your mind wouldn’t stop thinking of who would be the receiver of his gift. When the final bell rang for the day, you took the gift and rushed down the hallways to find his locker.

Except… there’s no one there waiting for him. 

A little concerned, you decided to wait to either give it to Kazuha or whoever was waiting for him.

But the minutes had steadily gone by, and you started to worry whether the person even got a message from him. 

“Ah…There you are.”

Kazuha’s face beamed as he got closer, and you laughed at the sight of him. 

“Here's your gift that you left behind.” You extend your hand to him, and his eyebrows furrowed.

“Hm?”

Surprised by his reaction, you were silent as your own eyebrows furrowed. 

“This…this isn't yours? Kazuha, are you sure you're in the right mind?” 

“That's yours.” 

“But, you left it there?! Kazuha, what are you on?” 

“Why do you think I left it there?” 

Your mind blanked, and you looked at him with panic. 

“Kazuha, you left it there. I am here to give it to you.” 

Kazuha started laughing and covered his face with his hands. 

“You are so… I left it there for you.” 

You stayed silent for a second. Then another.

“What?!”

Now that you think of it, Kazuha is never forgetful. And the way he looked at the gift multiple times, and the way he knew of your favorite sweets, and the way he looked at you… 

You covered your face in embarrassment, yet your smile grew into a grin. 

“You could've told me, Kazuha…”

He took your hands and clasped them in own.

“Well, you are aware now, and I am sure you are aware of what I want to ask, dove.” 

Your jaw dropped, and your eyes flickered between him and the gift. 

“Hm? Dove?”

You failed to response, as your body was still in shock and in complete utter denial. 

You finally spoke. 

“Why?”

Kazuha smiled at you and took your intertwined hands to his chest, right where his heart was. 

“Well, ask my beating heart. I assure you it beats the syllables of your name every time I see you.”

You swore to every archon that this man right in front of you would somehow be the cause of your death as well. 

“So, dove, will you be my valentine?”

mccnstruck

[aseplant]

welp. on god najin it's therapy time (:

There are many benefits to being the Child of Fire. Najin would know—because after discovering that time rewinds after his death, he’s determined to use his pseudo-immortality to save his brother. The universe, however, does not appreciate being blackmailed. —Najin versus god and the lesson he refuses to learn.

Between Najin’s last breath and the next, he wakes.

In a space that is darker than night, Najin meets a being made of smoke and light. It is so powerful that he can’t quite perceive it; it is so powerful that it hurts to breathe in its presence—not, of course, that he needs to. He knows he died on Rune’s sword, his body left to hang on the wall as a lesson for future traitors.

“Child of Fire,” the being muses. “Here so soon.”

He narrows his eyes, shifts his center of gravity. “And what are you?”

The being taps its chin. “A difficult question indeed… Others like you have called me god, but I don’t suppose that would garner any more respect from you.”

Of course not. There is exactly one person in this stupid world who matters, and this haze is most certainly not Nagyunn. “Where are we?”

“In between realities,” it says. “Waiting.”

“For what?”

It tilts its head. It sighs.

“Oh, Najin. You already know.”

He takes a step forward, reaching for a sword that is no longer there. “What d—”

A soft voice. “Jin-ah?”

Najin’s blood runs cold.

He turns. A face exactly like his, eyes wide with confusion, blood marring his shirt.

“There you are, Jin-ah! I was looking for you! The knight said you’d finished training already, but when—”

There’s a roaring in his ears drowning out the rest of Nagyunn’s excited chatter. He turns his attention back on the being, fists clenched, snarls, “Send him back.”

“It is not my place to interfere,” the being says apathetically. “I am but the overseer.”

Najin takes a step forward, both a threat and a promise.

The being remains unconcerned. Its loss.

“Besides…”

Najin is fifteen, with enough hubris to challenge god and just enough skill to pull it off.

“…you will have another chance to protect him.”

He draws his sword.

“Have some patience.”

In this not-quite-reality space, it forms in his grasp mid-swing, white wisps curling into the shape of that which killed him: half-dream, half-memory.

The being stops him with a single finger.

“Now, really, there is no need for that,” it says. “You will rise again, Child of Fire. Such is your nature. Take better care of him this time, hm?”

Najin pulls back his unoccupied fist—

—and Najin wakes.

It is currently eight o’clock. He feels as if he has just woken from a long, vivid dream.

But groggy as he feels, Najin knows he can’t afford to simply brush it off. Nagyunn died in his dream. If there’s any chance at all that was real, then he’s not risking Nagyunn again.

Unfortunately, it seems that Nagyunn has already left for work. Najin knows, from the sword, that Rune killed him in his dream—yesterday—today? So his cover is probably blown, and they’re probably trying to kill him and Nagyunn because they can’t tell them apart.

His plan is simple, then: get Nagyunn from work, pack some bags, skip town. Easy.

…or not.

(He dies on the way to Nagyunn four times.)

On the fifth time, Najin gets annoyed and decides to ambush the masked Dragon’s Descendants who keep ambushing him.

Also a failure. He dies two more times.

In the space between dying and waking, he continues to meet god.

“Seems you’ve had no luck this time either,” it says. “Perhaps a different approach is in order?”

Najin eyes it. He’s had suspiciously bad luck enroute to tracking down Nagyunn, and he can’t help but wonder if there’s been some… divine intervention. Maybe it’s mad because he attacked it that first time?

“Rest assured that your misfortune has little to do with me,” the being says, as if reading his mind. “I cannot interfere, only watch.”

“Then how do they keep finding me before I can find Nagyunn?” he snaps.

“Well…” the being contorts its face, clearly at odds with itself. “I suppose something like that wouldn’t hurt. Let’s say you were tracking someone, intending to kill them when they arrived home, but they kept deviating from their expected schedule…”

“…oh. Oh yeah.”

That makes sense.

Najin wakes.

He goes to training this time. Even though his whole body is itching to take off, go find Nagyunn and take him out of town, he stays the whole time, listening to Fadiyan’s antics and Luzian and Ruth’s dumbassery. When class dismisses he heads down to the town square, where Nagyunn is sure to pass through no matter where he was working today, and when his brother comes by Najin greets him with a big smile and subtly ushers him home.

“Is something the matter, Najin?” Nagyunn asks.

Well, maybe not so subtly.

“No,” he lies smoothly. “Why?”

“You just seem… hm, I don’t know, antsy? Did training not go well?”

“Oh, you know Fadiyan,” Najin says. “Always doing whatever she wants, even though the test is coming up so soon. But, umm”—inspiration strikes—“I was thinking, she said she was gonna be visiting a friend on Monday, so we basically have three days off. Do you wanna go on a trip together?”

Nagyunn’s eyes light up. “That sounds fun! But… I don’t really think I can be gone from work that long…”

Ugh, curse his responsible older brother instincts.

Najin plasters on the saddest face he can muster. “Oh, okay… but this might be our last chance before I become an apprentice…”

“Wow, someone’s confident he’s going to pass,” Nagyunn laughs.

Najin squares his shoulders haughtily. “But of course. Who else would they pick?”

Nagyunn musses his hair affectionately. “You know what, you’re right. I’ve deeply underestimated our village’s genius… I must pay for this sin with death! All hail Najin!”

“Stop that,” he laughs, batting his twin’s hand away. “Is that a yes, then? We should pac—”

It’s only by coincidence that Nagyunn reaches the door first.

It’s only because Najin is too relaxed, high on the relief of finally meeting up with Nagyunn after so many attempts at today, that he doesn’t react in time.

It’s only because they’re twins, because Fadiyan gave him that stupid assignment—no, because Najin wasn’t good enough at his job, because—

“Ah, no good, that one was Nagyunn,” someone says.

—well.

Excuses won’t bring back Nagyunn. Excuses won’t erase the sight of that sword tip plunging cleanly into Nagyunn’s eye, the memory of the blood spray when it pulled back out, the sickening way his body fell to the floor.

But Najin kind of knows how this works by now, so he stands still when the next strike comes, and then there is only darkness.

The being does not come to greet him this time. Najin doesn’t know if it’s respect, or guilt, or something else. He finds he doesn’t actually care.

In the abyss, the last few moments of his life replay over and over. The sword. The expression on Nagyunn’s face when it came out. The river of blood where his left eye should have been. The heaviness of his corpse in Najin’s arms.

If he still had physical form, Najin suspects he would have been sick. But there is only him in this space between death and waking.

Najin wakes. He sits up, feeling strange and out of place in his own body.

(Nagyunn’s weight presses on his arms.)

He lurches to the bathroom and is violently ill.

When his stomach settles again, he takes a deep breath. He has a sip of water.

(The sword pulls out of Nagyunn’s eye, spraying blood and other viscous fluids.)

He grits his teeth, wipes the cold sweat from his forehead, and goes to training. Nagyunn was safe until he went to pick him up last time. He’ll be okay this time too, then. Najin will just be more careful when they get back. He knows what’s coming, and he knows how to fight.

He’ll kill those people if it’s the last thing he does. He’ll save Nagyunn. He will break this cycle.

(He does not.)

The fifth time Nagyunn dies in his arms, the masked group doesn’t touch him, so Najin finishes the job for them.

The being is waiting for him in the in-between space, as it has been for almost all of his deaths. It has not tried to talk to him since Nagyunn’s first death, and Najin has not bothered to say anything either.

Today, he has had enough of this.

In his hand materializes a sword, foamy dream and memory and burning with red-hot anger.

“Leave Nagyunn alone,” Najin hisses, “you sick bastard—”

“Your anger will change nothing,” it says. “Your choices have led here. Your choices will lead you back here if you continue the same path.”

He swings into nothingness.

Najin wakes.

He dies in Nagyunn’s stead. He wakes.

He dies in Nagyunn’s stead twice. He fights god. He wakes.

He dies in Nagyunn’s stead four times. Five. Seven. Ten. Fifteen. Twenty-seven. He loses count.

He fights god.

He wakes.

Najin takes a different route home. He stops going home. He skips training. He suggests they go visit Lauzun.

Nagyunn dies. If the masked group doesn’t kill him too, then Najin brings a sword to his own neck. He will not leave this day without Nagyunn.

The being is waiting for him, hazy and ethereal and unconcerned by any of Najin’s attacks.

On his next death, he does not attack it.

It says, with clear certainty, “You wanted to ask me something.”

“Why does he keep dying?”

“Because he was not intended to survive past today,” it says simply.

Ah. That’s one suspicion confirmed, at least.

“Through sheer tenacity, you have exploited the world’s gift to you to extend your brother’s lifespan,” the being says. “Admirable, truly. But I have told you: your choices will continue to lead you here if you stay on this path.”

“How do I get off this path?”

“I cannot help you,” it says simply. “But perhaps there are others who could.”

…right.

Of course, it’s so simple. He’ll just tell Fadiyan about the problem, and surely between the two of them they’ll be strong enough to take on—

Nagyunn dies.

Unfeelingly, unflinchingly, Najin brings the sword to his neck as well, Fadiyan’s alarm fading into the background.

“Back again, Child of Fire,” the being sighs.

Najin tries to punch it again for good measure.

Najin wakes.

The numbness sets in before the hopelessness. He stops getting sick after Nagyunn’s deaths. He stops hesitating before beginning the cycle anew. He wakes.

Even once the hopelessness starts to set in, even when he loses count of how many deaths he’s had, even as he slowly begins to accept that he’ll probably be stuck in this loop of yesterdays forever, at least he never loses sight of his desperation to save Nagyunn. So even though the exhaustion sinks in so deep that his bones ache at the thought of getting up, Najin continues to force himself out of bed again and again and again.

He leaves training early. The masked group is still waiting for them when they get home. He tries to get Nagyunn to leave with him without going home. Nagyunn finds this wildly irresponsible, reckless, and terrifyingly out of character, so he refuses to come. He tries to bring their things with him to training. Rune must have spies on him, or perhaps even a mole within the knights-in-training, because he is killed on his way to find Nagyunn after work.

Najin wakes. He forces himself up. He tries again.

He’s gotten pretty good at lying to Nagyunn over the years, ever since he joined the Dragon’s Descendants. In all these repeats, Nagyunn has never truly questioned him. But the weariness starts to weigh his feet down, and although he tries to maintain a happy face for Nagyunn,  it’s so, so hard, and his brother is so, so perceptive.

All he says is: “Hey, Jin-ah, is everything alright? You don’t look so good…”

Just a gentle hand on his shoulder, a worried furrow to his eye.

It’s such a small action. On any other day, Najin would simply shrug him off and give him a sunny smile, and that’s exactly what he intends to do now—

But instead, Najin, to his horror, starts crying.

Nagyunn is also horrified. Probably for different reasons. “Najin? Oh my god, what’s wrong? Are you hurt somewhere? What’s—”

Najin shakes his head and tries to speak, but all that comes out is a wet, choked noise. Fuck.

He gives up and pulls Nagyunn into a hug instead.

Clearly bewildered, Nagyunn pats his back awkwardly. “Was—was it training? Did someone do something to you? I’ll kick their ass, Jin-ah, it’s okay, please don’t cry.”

“I’m tired of watching you die,” he hiccups into his twin’s shoulder.

“Oh, Jin-ah, I’m here for you now,” Nagyunn says. “Did something happen? Did you have a bad dream last night?”

“No,” he sighs. He slumps further into Nagyunn’s embrace, forcing his brother to bear most of their weights. “I just… forget it.”

It’s not like he can just tell Nagyunn the truth. The day will probably start over soon, for one reason or another. He’ll just count this one a wash. Maybe he’ll manage to save him in the next one.

“What? Hey, don’t say that.” Nagyunn pulls back, forcing Najin to look him in the eye. “Jin-ah. Tell me what’s wrong.”

He looks away. “You wouldn’t believe me anyway.”

“Why wouldn’t I? No matter what happens, I’ll always believe you. So just tell me.”

“Well, nothing happened. Still going to say you believe me?”

“Jiiiiiiiiiiiin-ahhh.” Nagyunn pinches his cheek.

“Ow ow ow, hey!”

“Tell me what’s wrong,” he says. “It’s clearly not nothing. Why are you hiding things from me all of a sudden?”

I’ve been hiding things from you for years, he does not say.

“It’s really nothing,” he grumbles. “I’ll figure it out, so don’t worry about it.”

Nagyunn swats him on the head. “What the hell does that mean? Najin, I’m your older brother. I’m supposed to protect you, and—”

He shoves Nagyunn’s hand away. “I’m better at fighting than you are anyway.”

Nagyunn narrows his eyes. “Oh? So it’s a person who’s bothering you, then? Or—no, you’re basically the strongest one in this village except for your teacher. So a group of people?”

Fuck, why is he so perceptive. “No. I said nothing.”

“Najin.”

“Look, just leave me alone, okay? It has nothing to do with you anyway—”

“—you started crying Najin, in the middle of the street, how am I supposed to just ignore that—”

“—okay, wow, sure, just go ahead and bring that up—”

“—don’t try to distract me, Najin, just tell me what’s wrong—”

“I told you there’s nothing!” he snaps. “Stop trying to get involved in every aspect of my life! I just—have a lot on my plate, with the apprenticeship exam coming up, and the last thing I need is you butting your head into things when you can’t even fight that well, and…”

Nagyunn has an odd look on his face.

Najin’s anger and stress evaporates instantaneously.

“…never mind, I’m sorry, Gyunn-ah, I was just saying whatever came to mind, please don’t be mad at me…”

“You didn’t have anything on your mind at all last night,” Nagyunn says slowly. “Where did all this come from?”

“…uh, test nerves?”

“You say I keep dying, even though I’ve been at work all day, and now you won’t elaborate because you’re trying to protect me from something. I didn’t tell you where I’d be today, but you came to find me right after work anyway. You seem—dead on your feet, honestly, but you were fine last night. You didn’t think I’d believe you if you told the truth.”

“Um,” Najin says. Nagyunn’s always been smart, of course, but this is getting kind of scary. “I just… you know…”

“What did we have for dinner last night?”

Najin opens his mouth, then sighs and rubs his eyes.

“See?” Nagyunn says gently. “That wasn’t so bad. And I believe you. So let me help you, Jin-ah.”

“…Alright,” Najin says. “I guess two heads are better than one.”

“Exactly!” Nagyunn smiles. “So do you know what triggers a loop?”

“One of us dying.” Sort of.

“And what have you tried so far?”

Najin rattles off a quick list.

“Hm, I can see why I wouldn’t have gone with you… let’s see… what did Fadiyan ask you to do, exactly?”

“Just—take out some bandits.”

Nagyunn narrows his eyes. “…I know you’re lying, Najin. I hope that wasn’t important information.”

“It’s not.”

“Can I assume that you can get Fadiyan to help us, then?”

“Yes.”

“Okay,” Nagyunn says. “Well then. They must have someone watching you, because they know to go after you alone when you deviate from your schedule, so they must have seen you leave training at the usual time. They’re probably already waiting for us at home, but when we don’t arrive soon they’ll come looking for us. Let’s go ask Fadiyan for help for now. Do you know where she is?”

“She’ll still be near the training grounds,” Najin says, automatically beginning to lead the way, “but if we stay too long, they’ll try to use you to lure me out.”

Nagyunn falls in step with him. “Then we’ll move somewhere else. I guess you keep trying to talk to her without me overhearing? But now that I’m going with you while knowing the full story, it shouldn’t be too hard to fill her in and move to somewhere harder to find us. Then we persuade her to let us stay with her overnight. That’ll give us some time to think about tomorrow.”

“…right,” Najin says. That makes sense. “You’re so smart, Jin-ah.”

“Well one of us has to be,” Nagyunn laughs. “Cuz it isn’t you.”

Najin feels the corners of his lips quirking up, his first genuine smile in a long, long time. He feels foolish now. After going undercover and keeping his secrets for so long, he’d forgotten how much easier things are with Nagyunn around.

“Alright, I’ll talk to Fadiyan. You just stick near me, okay?”

“I’ll be by your side the whole time,” Nagyunn promises.

Najin wants to believe it, but he knows better by now.

Still, Nagyunn’s plan is as solid as any that he’s tried at this point, so Najin carries it out faithfully. Together, they locate Fadiyan, and he asks her to move to a more private place. He tells her his assignment has been exposed, and that he and Nagyunn are both in danger now. He lays it on as thick as he can—Nagyunn’s only a civilian, but he’s in danger now too—until Fadiyan finally says, “Aw, kid. You don’t have to phrase it like that. I get it, you’re worried. I’ll take responsibility for this. What is it you want from me?”

“Let us stay with you tonight,” Nagyunn says quietly. “You’re a knight. Surely no matter how powerful this group is, they’ll think twice before attacking you in your own home.”

Fadiyan turns to him, eyes bright.

Ugh, catching her interest is never a good thing. Najin resists the urge to step in front of his brother protectively.

“So you’re Nagyunn then,” she says. “I’ve heard a lot about you.”

Nagyunn shows no reaction. “So?”

“Well, I don’t think I’m supposed to show favoritism like that,” she sighs, “but I guess these are special circumstances. Come along then. Let’s get you guys somewhere safe.”

Najin tries to squash the flutterings of hope in his stomach. “Thank you.”

“Wow, I don’t think you’ve ever been this polite with me,” Fadiyan says. “Your brother is such a good influence on you. I should’ve asked to meet him sooner…”

Najin narrows his eyes. He lowers his voice and hisses, “Hey. Don’t even think about it. Nagyunn’s not good at fighting.”

“Ah, but I have a colleague like that,” Fadiyan says brightly. “There’s still plenty he could do.”

“No,” Najin says.

“Well,” she says with a sidelong glance at Nagyunn, who’s starting to take interest in their whispered conversation, “I think that’s for him to decide, isn’t it? Besides, think about it. You came to me because the knights are the safest to be with now that your cover’s blown. You think that’ll change anytime soon?”

Najin stops short, glare murderous. “What’re you suggesting?”

Nagyunn puts a gentle hand on his shoulder. “Najin? What’s going on?”

Fadiyan glances at him. “I don’t know how much Najin has told you, but if what he’s told me is true, it isn’t safe for either of you to stay in this village anymore. But, lucky you—the apprenticeship exam is next week! Fast way to get out, if you ask me, and you’d be under the knights’ protection. Pretty sweet deal, don’t you think?”

Nagyunn tilts his head. “Do you really think I could pass the exam?”

“We-ell,” Fadiyan says, “that remains to be seen.”

“And you’re encouraging this because?”

“Because she thinks you’d be useful,” Najin spits out. “Don’t listen to her, Gyunn-ah. We’ll figure out something else.”

Fadiyan waves him off. “Sure, sure, whatever you want. But let’s keep walking, hm?”

Najin begrudgingly begins following her again.

Curse her for planting the thought in Nagyunn’s head at all. Behind him, he can sense the gears start to turn in his brother’s brain.

Against all odds, Najin wakes to the crow call and jingle of the weekend peddlers, come from afar to sell their wares. It used to be a signal to go back to bed because Fadiyan doesn’t conduct training on weekends, but it’s the first time he’s heard it in weeks, and it feels almost bizarre now. He’d never thought he’d miss it.

Wait.

He bolts upright. Nagyunn—

“I’m right here, Jin-ah,” Nagyunn says, rolling over in his pile of blankets. “You okay?”

“…Yeah,” Najin says. “Of course.”

Nagyunn searches his face for a moment, then smiles. “I’m glad. You passed out really early last night—”

Fuck, he’d meant to keep watch for any unexpected occurrences.

“—but it makes since, all things considered, y’know? Anyway, I talked a bit with Fadiyan last night, and—”

“You shouldn’t listen to her,” Najin says automatically.

Nagyunn sighs. “I know you’re hesitant, but it really does just make the most sense. Provided I can pass the exam, of course… she wouldn’t tell me anything about that, so we’ll just have to wait and see, I guess.”

“I don’t like it,” Najin insists.

“Really?” Nagyunn says, pretending to pout. “But I thought you’d be happy to spend more time with me. If we both get in, we’d get to see each other everyday.”

“It’s not like that,” Najin says. “It’s just…”

…that Nagyunn will never be able to achieve the level of strength that Najin has, but because they’re twins, everyone will either treat him terribly or throw him into danger anyway, expecting it to work out. And if that gleam in Fadiyan’s eyes is anything to go by…

“Well, do you have any other suggestions then?” Nagyunn asks. “I don’t mind either way, but it’s not like you can just drop out and go adventuring—”

“Yes I could,” Najin says immediately.

Nagyunn levels an unimpressed stare. “Come on Najin, be serious. I’m not going to ask you to give up your dream—or even just, that stable of a future—because of something like this.”

“…you say that like this is just—just some small bump in the road,” Najin says.

Nagyunn winces. “Jin-ah, we can’t let this one thing derail your entire future—”

“Okay, and then what about you?” he says. “Do you—do you not—”

Embarrassingly, his breath hitches, and Nagyunn’s face immediately softens. “Oh, Jin-ah, I’m sorry. I know that yesterday—”

“You know, but you don’t understand,” Najin snaps, eyes stinging with angry tears. “Do you realize how many times I watched you die? But all you’re worried about is me—”

“I mean, I don’t even remember it, so of course I’m worried about y—”

“—you dummy,” Najin sniffs, “worry about yourselffor once, and, and n-now Fadiyan’s gone and convinced you that joining the knights would be safer for you, like they wouldn’t throw you into danger in a heartbeat, and—I… I just want you to be safe, Nagyunn.”

Nagyunn pats his hands reassuringly. “I didn’t mean to dismiss your feelings like that. I’m sorry. I still think joining the knights would be our best option, but if you’re that against it… we could join an adventuring group together?”

That sounds much better than putting Nagyunn in the gaze of schemers like Fadiyan, and whatever other knights are going to be out there, watching the rising star and his twin.

“Yes,” he sniffs. “I do like that plan better.”

“Okay,” Nagyunn says easily, “then we’ll do that. Although… I still think we’ll get out of here faster if we take the apprenticeship exam next week. What do you think?”

“…okay. Just for a bit,” Najin mumbles. “We can train a bit until then. I’ll ask Fadiyan. I’m sure she’ll want to help you.”

Nagyunn grins. “Sure. Look at that! Everything’s settled. We’re in this together, so there’s no need to stress about everything on your own, alright?”

“Alright,” Najin echoes.

Nagyunn reaches up and wipes a stray tear away. “Man, I haven’t seen this side of you in a while.”

The crying, he means. Najin buries his face in his brother’s shoulder and mumbles, “shut up.”

Nagyunn laughs softly.

“It’s okay,” he says. “Your big brother’s here for you. Always.”

He holds him tighter. Yes, he will be. As long as Najin has the power to start over, he’ll kill himself as many times as he needs to to keep Nagyunn safe and sound.

“You better be,” Najin grumbles.

The apprenticeship exam turns out to be a group exam, which is hilariously trivial in the face of Nagyunn’s brilliance and Najin’s fighting prowess. Nagyunn simply observes on the first day, his presence and combat capabilities so weak that Ludika barely even glances his way.

On the second day, two Najins show up. Najin had agreed to this, of course, had even helped Nagyunn cut his hair, but that doesn’t help calm him at all when Ludika goes after the wrong person and he lunges for them both, heart in his throat—

—but Fadiyan parries the attack at the last minute.

“Come on, Ludi, you’ll really kill him if you do that,” she tuts.

Najin releases a shaky breath. God, this is why he hadn’t wanted Nagyunn to join the knights. He’s hung around Fadiyan long enough to know that none of these people are sane.

But it seems he can trust Fadiyan to keep an eye on Nagyunn for now, so he clenches his fists, steels himself, and barks out new orders to the rest of the knights-in-training.

It’s just for a bit, he reminds himself. This is only going to be long enough to get out of Woodion safely and find a safer place to stay.

They pass the exam, of course. With flying colors.

They stay with Fadiyan for two more weeks before Ludika up and disappears on them. And just like that, they leave Woodion behind.

After a dismal performance on their tracking assignment, they regroup with Ludika and a bunch of new faces in the middle of nowhere. Marsha is already there, to no one’s surprise, and she declares in front of everyone that she’d like his babies.

Insanity.

“No way in hell,” Najin scowls.

Nagyunn looks absolutely shell-shocked.

“Jin-ah…” he says, eyes lightless.

“Ugh, it’s not like that,” Najin sighs.

Marsha eyes him curiously. “And who are you?”

Najin slings an arm around him protectively and tells her, quite politely, to fuck off.

Thankfully, the knights begin class before Marsha can escalate things further.

It’s not quite possible for Najin to keep his head down, but Nagyunn agrees to attract as little attention as possible while they’re with the knights. His complete lack of talent for combat is balanced out enough by his quick thinking that most of the knights pay him no mind, instead focusing on Najin’s overwhelmingly visible strength—which is exactly how Najin prefers it. No chance of Nagyunn getting caught up in something weird if none of the knights will give him the time of day.

But somehow, despite both their efforts…

“—and Qilin Squad will be composed of Nagyunn, Nuljin, Ruth, and Yulnia,” the administrator announces.

…Nagyunn still manages to catch the eye of that bastard.

Najin clenches his fists, thoughts racing. Then:

“How does that make any sense?” he asks as obnoxiously as possible.

The administrator blinks, clearly taken aback. “Um… w-well, that was decided among the knights, so…”

“Watch your tone, Najin,” Ludika snaps.

Najin ignores her and pivots on his heel, intending to see if he can annoy Zius into leaving Nagyunn alone.

As if summoned, Zius comes over of his own accord.

“Nagyunn’s not strong and neither are you,” Najin tells him bluntly. “Ruth isn’t that strong either, for that matter. What kind of squad did you assemble?”

“I chose Nagyunn because he’s good at thinking on his feet. I think his keen insights—”

“Isn’t that what you’re for?”

Zius raises an eyebrow subtly. “…Najin. Is there a reason you’re being so hostile right now? It’s well within my rights to choose who I want on my squad.”

A hand touches his elbow.

“Jin-ah,” Nagyunn says. “Come with me for a second?”

He complies, begrudgingly, but not before shooting one last glare at Zius.

“I thought we agreed not to stir up any unnecessary trouble,” Nagyunn reminds him gently. “That means avoiding picking fights with the knights, even the weak one.”

“I wasn’t picking a fight with him—”

“You were about to tell him to go kill himself.”

“Well, he had it coming.”

Nagyunn sighs. “Look, he’s probably just trying to figure out why I’m here.”

“I know,” Najin whines.

“Then why are you being so hostile to him? You have to know that the circumstances surrounding my apprenticeship are odd. If all the knights accepted me blindly, I think we’d have bigger problems on our hands.”

“You haven’t been around knights long enough to know what they’re like,” Najin says petulantly. “You think Fadiyan’s bad? They’re all like that. They’ve been too strong for too long, so they’re all out of their minds. Even if he’s just testing you, he’s going to go about it in the most insane way possible.”

Nagyunn just laughs. “They have no reason to think I’m capable of anything more than I’ve shown in the evaluation matches. Even if he does test me, he'll probably have to do it within the limits of what the other apprentices can handle, so it won’t be too dangerous. Have some faith in me, Jin-ah. There are lines he won’t cross.”

…well, Najin supposes he’ll see for himself eventually. In the meantime, it’s only their first mission, so it’s not like anything too crazy can happen.

Najin reluctantly waves him off as Qilin Squad departs—

—and slams Zius against a tree, days later, with no Nagyunn in sight.

“Why,” he says, enunciating every syllable crisply, “the hell. Did Luzian just tell me that Nagyunn walked off with the enemy?”

Fidorance’s great sword is against his throat in an instant.

“Watch yourself, Najin,” he snaps. “If you can’t control your temper—”

“Leave it,” Zius says, pushing away Fidorance’s blade gently with one hand and crushing a pressure point in Najin’s hand with his other, forcing him to let go. “It’s understandably a difficult circumstance for him. I agree that it was my responsibility to look after Nagyunn, and I failed. As such, when the Fox and the Raccoon arrive, we will go retrieve him. But—Najin, I know, but no, you cannot come with us. That’s my only condition.”

“But—”

“Najin.” Zius lowers his voice so that only the two of them can hear. “I know that you’re very attached to your brother. But you can see why behavior this erratic could be a liability on missions, right? So even though you’re strong, and even if this mission weren’t too dangerous for apprentices, I can’t allow you to join us.”

Najin scowls. His reasoning is, of course, flawless. It’s like talking to Nagyunn.

Doesn’t mean he has to like it.

“Go fuck yourself,” he tells Zius childishly.

Zius just sighs. “I will not be doing that. You—just… try to get along with Fidorance. You’re the strongest here, so everyone looks up to you. Help him keep the other apprentices in line while we’re gone.”

Cool! Najin immediately adds that to the list of things he will not be doing even under threat of death.

Zius pinches the bridge of his nose, but wisely lets it drop.

Najin is… almost surprised, by how fast Zius pulls together an operation to retrieve Nagyunn. He’d been intending to go after Nagyunn himself if they didn’t head out soon, but thankfully Zius has enough sense to understand his urgency, and the knights depart as soon as they’ve gathered.

For his part, Najin can only train distractedly, all the while praying that Nagyunn hasn’t already died at a time that he’s no longer able to return to. He counts the seconds as Fidorance attempts to rally him into actually putting effort into his training. Apparently, his behavior is concerning enough behavior that the knight first tries to talk to him, then sic the Woodion apprentices on him—but joke’s on him, because Najin couldn’t care less about any of them.

In the evening, when Najin is just getting antsy enough to consider resetting the day, just to be safe, the knights finally return with Nagyunn in tow.

Najin immediately breaks away from the rest of the apprentices to tackle him with a hug. “Gyunn-ah!”

Nagyunn laughs. “Missed me, huh?”

Zius glances down at them. “…well, I guess you’ve been through enough for today. We’ll handle Liamin. Fox.”

And then they’re alone.

“Think you could let me up, Jin-ah?” Nagyunn says lightheartedly.

Najin allows it, glaring all the while. “Do you know how worried I was? You dumbass, how could you just walk off with the enemy like that? That was so dangerous—”

“But I’m fine, see?” Nagyunn pinches his cheek. “I know I’m not strong like you, but I can help the others in my own right.”

“Well, they’re all stronger than you. They can handle themselves. Or Zius can, I don’t care. But don’t do things like that again.”

“The knights told me off for that too,” Nagyunn laughs.

“And don’t you think maybe that says something?” Najin says snippily. “I told you they’re all insane, and even they thought your plan was insane.”

“I know. But it was a dangerous situation for everyone,” Nagyunn says gently. “I did what I had to.”

“Fuck the others.”

“Oh, Jin-ah, what am I going to do with you?” Nagyunn sighs, ruffling his hair affectionately.

“…Does that mean you’re going to do it again? Because we can just leave, then. They’ll figure it out themselves.”

“I guess we could,” Nagyunn says noncommittally. “But, listen, I’ve been thinking.”

…That’s not a very reassuring answer. “About?”

“That enemy… he was monstrous. Even three knights struggled against him.”

“Zius barely counts.”

“Okay, then two knights did. And he’s helping the masked group. And, Jin-ah, I don’t know what you did, and I know you don’t want to tell me—but they’re really, truly after us, I think. So it’s definitely going to be a while before we can just take off.”

“They can’t hurt us if they can’t find us,” Najin insists stubbornly.

Nagyunn smiles wryly. “I know. But you’re… a genius, Najin. You’re going to stand out no matter where you go. You know that.”

“I mean, yeah, but—” A sudden thought strikes him. “…hey, how do you even know about the masked group?”

“Oh.” Nagyunn winces. “Well… okay, so please don’t be mad, but…”

“But?”

“…I told Qilin-nim some… things… after we found out about the wizards, because I suspected that one of the Woodion apprentices had been spying on you. And we ferreted out Ruth, and he had a mask that communicated with others, and, y’know, we put two and two together. That’s how I managed to convince the skeleton to leave the others alone, actually. ‘Cuz I was holding on to the mask.”

Najin blinks slowly. “You… told Zius.”

“Yeah,” Nagyunn says awkwardly. “Sorry for not consulting you, but it seemed too dangerous to stay quiet when people were dying…”

Najin squints. “You trust that guy?”

“I mean… no? Not really? But he’s smart. He can be useful, at least.”

Najin lets out a breath of relief. At least Nagyunn isn’t being completely naïve about this.

“Good enough I guess,” he says. “I guess if you don’t feel safe leaving, we can stay until things resolve themselves. Do you think he’s still suspicious of you?”

“Oh, for sure,” Nagyunn says brightly.

“How much did you tell him?”

“Only that we’d had a run-in with the masked group, and they seemed to be targeting you, for whatever reason,” Nagyunn says. “You know. Parts of the truth. He’ll probably ask you some questions too, later, but I don’t think he’s going to lay it on too thick for now.”

Najin sighs. “Okay.”

“If that’s settled, should we go rejoin the others?”

“Sure,” Najin says. “But…”

He finally notices the strangely shaped dagger beside Nagyunn.

“…what is that?”

Nagyunn beams. “I stole it.”

Najin groans, rubbing at his temples. “Gyunn-ah, seriously? Please don’t ever do something like this again.”

Nagyunn stares at him for just a fraction of a second too long with a strange half-smile on his face.

“Alright,” he says. “Promise.”

Liar.

But Najin knows he’d be the world’s biggest hypocrite if he said anything about it, so he doesn’t.

Time passes with the knights. They encounter the Dragon’s Descendants again, but do not manage to fully defeat them, so they stay with the knights and continue training.

The standout apprentices���him, Marsha, Wadrin, Pymel, Tyr, and Luzian—split their time between the capital and special training with Zius and Darang. It means he sees Nagyunn less, but when they do meet his brother still seems to be in good enough spirits, so he doesn’t push for them to leave again.

In the meantime:

Najin improves at an impressive rate, of course. It earns him a lot of attention and popularity among the apprentices, which he mostly brushes off with rude indifference. And Nagyunn grows his strength quietly, away from the limelight, in ways that the apprentices do not take note of but the knights do.

It still comes as a bit of a surprise when brawn-for-brains Fidorance selects Nagyunn to take part in the advanced missions. Najin can’t say he likes the idea of Nagyunn being put in danger like that, but it does mean he can at least continue to keep an eye on him, and Nagyunn seems pleased, so he can’t really bring himself to ruin his mood. They leave the capital along with the other selected apprentices around noon, a bounce in Nagyunn’s step the whole way.

In the afternoon, they receive their mission briefing and some news about runaway apprentices. Pure foolishness, not that Najin really cares except for the fact that it will make more work for him.

They send out search parties in the early morning, Najin with Tyr and Marsha, Nagyunn with Luzian and Wadrin.

He and Nagyunn locate the runaways at about the same time—

—which means neither of them could possibly be fast enough to save Jiroon, who is left to collapse from the dagger wound in her side.

Nagyunn reaches her first. “Jiroon!”’

Najin is sprinting after him, circuit in hand, when the world goes dark.

He opens his eyes to a hazy, half-formed being made of white wisps—

And is more confused than ever.

It’s not that he doesn’t know where he is, although he’d been hoping he’d never have to see this place again, had almost managed to forget the darker-than-dark inkiness of the space between death and waking. But he has no idea how he got here. He’d thought…

“How did I die?” he asks the being, bewildered.

“You did not,” it replies from its nonexistent mouth. “She did.”

Najin stares. “Then why am I here?”

“Because she was not meant to die.”

“But what does that have to do with…”

A horrible thought dawns on him.

“I see you already understand,” the being says. “He lived because of your interference, so the deaths his life incurs will be your burden to bear, Child of Fire.”

“…and the day will keep repeating until I do save her?”

“You do have another option,” it says.

Najin glares. “Fuck off.”

Najin wakes.

It’s early morning. He squints against the sunlight—

Filtering through a window, not tree leaves.

Najin bolts upright. Everyone is asleep except for Toorisun. Yesterday—the time before Jiroon died and he woke—he’d woken up in the forest, where Zius had asked them to gather. But he’s in the capital, so that would’ve been… two days ago?

It’s different from last time. Then…

Najin thinks it over for a moment, gives up, and sighs. Then nothing. There’s too many factors that have changed. Shame that he’s not nearly as good at this kind of thing as Nagyunn, but Najin’s not about to bother him over something this trivial.

He’ll figure out a way to take care of this on his own.

The apprentices gather in the tavern for breakfast. It’s honestly pretty convenient that he’s been brought back to now; all he has to do is approach Jiroon and convince her not to go with the runaways, before heading out with the others who have been selected for missions.

He’s mostly done with his breakfast by the time she finally comes downstairs with Quaring. He tunes out Nagyunn and Lauzun’s conversation, momentarily, to catch her saying—

“—yeah, I just had a really bad nightmare. I’m fine. But thank you for waking me, I wouldn’t want to be late…”

…a nightmare. Had she originally said something like this? Najin doesn’t pay enough attention to her normally to remember.

But he does remember mistaking his first loop for a dream. An interesting possibility.

Najin weighs his options quickly. Even if he approached her now, she’d probably still have trouble believing him; in that case, waiting is probably the better option. In the worst case, it’s just a fluke, and he’ll have to start again—but after the fiasco with Nagyunn, he’s pretty numb to this kind of repetition. In the best case, letting things play out again would save him a lot of trouble.

Mind made up, he finishes breakfast and waits for Nagyunn to head over to the training grounds. He dutifully ignores Marsha’s attempts to make conversation throughout the day, and finally, in the afternoon, after selection, he heads out to the forest with everyone else.

In the morning, they form search parties and look for the three runaways. He makes a beeline for their location immediately, but Jiroon must have misstepped somewhere, because he arrives only in time to see her body fall.

In between one blink and the next, Najin opens his eyes to find himself surrounded by the abyss once more. The being observes him silently this time, offering no commentary.

Najin wakes.

As expected, he’s back in the capital once more; Toorisun is gone, but the others are all asleep. Najin glances over at Jiroon’s sleeping form, thinks about how odd it would be if anyone woke up while he was trying to wake her, and heads downstairs for breakfast instead.

The others trickle downstairs slowly, woken by the morning light or their friends as they begin preparing for the day. Najin sits at the table closest to the stairs and nibbles on his bread, Wadrin and Darigon talking up a storm even though he keeps pointedly ignoring them, wishing desperately that he’d had the foresight to wake Nagyunn as well so the others would fuck off.

Finally, Jiroon comes down the stairs, unaccompanied by Quaring this time. Looks like his guess was right.

As she passes him, Najin grabs her wrist.

“Wait,” he says. “Let’s talk.”

“I think this is the first time we’ve had a conversation on our own,” Jiroon remarks with a small smile as he leads her into the alley just outside the inn. Probably a friendly attempt to break the silence. “You always keep to yourself and Nagyunn. Is there something I can help you with?”

“No,” Najin says.

“Then—”

“You’re the one who needs help.”

Her smile falters. “…Pardon?”

“I’m sure you’ve noticed by now,” he says, “but the day repeats if you die.”

 “H-how…”

“So you should stop dying.”

She stares at him wordlessly for a moment, mouth gaping. Finally, she says, “I—I’m sorry? I didn’t… how did you…”

For a moment, Najin considers explaining things to her, but then immediately dismisses his brief bout of insanity. More trouble than it’s worth. Besides, there’s no guarantee that she’d treat Nagyunn the same after. He couldn’t care less about her, but he can tell that Nagyunn likes her work ethic and sincerity, and he’d hate to ruin that.

So instead, Najin says, “I’d have to be stupid not to notice after the second time, wouldn’t I?”

Maybe it’s the wrong thing to say. Najin knows he’s not exactly delicate about things, but Jiroon turns sheet white at that, nails digging into her skin from how tightly she’s clasped her hands together.

“…you’re not going to faint, right.”

Jiroon doesn’t seem to hear him. “Then does that mean the others…?”

“No,” he says, then quickly adds, “—well, I don’t think so.”

She visibly relaxes. “Oh. Okay, that’s…” She tucks a stray hair behind her ear, laughing awkwardly. “Well, I can’t say dying is pleasant, but at least it won’t… traumatize the others too much…”

Ugh. She sounds exactly like Nagyunn.

“So how come we remember then?” she asks.

He shrugs. “How would I know?”

Jiroon laughs apologetically, seemingly unbothered by his rudeness. “Yeah, I guess that was silly of me. I think… um, that was you last time, right? The person who found us first?”

“Yeah.”

“Thank you for that,” she smiles. “And… I’m sorry to ask you for another favor after that—and I definitely don’t mean to be presumptuous—but do you think… could you tell me where the Qilin and the rest are staying?”

Najin stares at her uncomprehendingly. “You’re still planning to go with Toorisun and Yulnia?”

She laughs softly. “Well… if I back out, they’ll just go without me and get killed. It doesn’t really solve anything, you know?”

“And you think repeating the same actions will? Didn’t you already try that last time?”

“Well… there’s still a lot of things that could change. Maybe if we can avoid those two and stay on track to find your base…”

“That’s exactly how you’ll get yourself killed again,” Najin tells her bluntly.

“I guess it isn’t a very solid plan,” Jiroon agrees amiably. “This kind of thing isn’t really my specialty… but, hm… Nagyunn’s really good at coming up with plans. Maybe we could ask him for—”

Najin slams his fist against the wall. Jiroon flinches.

“Absolutely not,” he says, voice dead calm as he stares her down. “Leave Nagyunn out of this.”

She must be more tenacious than she looks, because she doesn’t back down. “But I’m sure, coming from you at least, if we explain—”

“What part of ‘no’ do you not understand?” Najin snaps.

He thought that’d be a clear enough warning that she’d change the topic, but instead a strange look passes over her face.

“You…” Jiroon says slowly, “are being very… does he already know? Or…”

Ice cold dread seeps down his spine. Najin clenches his fists.

“…perhaps he’s been in the same—”

“You’d better stop talking,” Najin says quietly.

His demeanor is definitely starting to affect her now. She takes a nervous step back, shoulders hunched with hesitancy—

But her eyes remain determined. “Then… at least tell me why you’re so agai—”

Najin bares his teeth. She’s really going to insist on this, huh?

“What,” he says, enunciating every syllable sharply, “makes you deserving of his help in the first place? He’s the weakest apprentice, but you’ll all just flock to him for help whenever it suits you, huh? Can’t you do anything by yourself?”

He takes one step forward. She takes one step back.

“You’ve had two chances already, and all you—”

“Jin-ah?”

Najin freezes, then quickly plasters and eases the hostility from his body language. “Oh, Nagyunn, wh—”

“What’re you doing over here? I’ve been looking for you all morning.” Nagyunn nods at Jiroon—“Good morning, Jiroon.”

Najin opens his mouth. “We were just—”

“I asked Najin for some training tips, since I haven’t been improving very quickly,” Jiroon says.

“I see. I’m glad you’ve finally started helping the other apprentices, Jin-ah,” Nagyunn grins, “because I thought for sure I heard you two talking about time loops—”

Both Najin and Jiroon stiffen.

“—but you wouldn’t keep something like that from me again,” Nagyunn finishes in the same cheerful tone. “Right. Jin-ah.”

“R-right…” Jiroon laughs nervously, as Najin becomes very enamored with the wall beside him.

“Najin.”

“I was planning to tell you later,” he says petulantly.

He can tell Nagyunn doesn’t believe him for a second, but he smiles and lets it slide. “I see. Can you catch me up then?”

He can feel the weight of Jiroon’s gaze on him as he says, “Of course. Tomorrow, Jiroon’s going to die. After selection, Toorisun, Yulnia, and her are going to go off on their own, and they’ll meet a group that ends up killing her. Then the day repeats.”

“Tomorrow?” Nagyunn repeats.

“Yeah.”

“That’s different,” he muses. “It’s probably significant. I would assume today’s the last time you can make any real change, but it doesn’t hurt to evaluate our options. Jiroon, could you tell me anything with more detail?”

She glances at Najin, and finding no sign of fight in him, looks back at Nagyunn and gives him a more detailed recount of her day. She describes the two suspicious mercenaries and how they approach their group, and in the morning, when she ensnares them, the way they attack her.

“I see,” Nagyunn says. “Well, I’m sure you’ve thought of this already, but I think you shouldn’t go with Toorisun and Yulnia to begin with.”

“She says they’d still go without her, so she wants to accompany them,” Najin says.

“They’re a bit… you know, reckless,” Jiroon says. “So I think…”

“Yeah,” Nagyunn says, “they’d definitely be in danger too. Then should we tell a knight? I’m sure the Fox or the Wild Dog could stop them.”

“I mean, that would stop them now,” Jiroon says, “but…”

“You think it’s delaying the inevitable?”

“Yes. And since we’re stuck in a time loop anyway, I thought it might be better to get it out of their system while we have some knowledge of what we’ll encounter.”

On the one hand, Najin is annoyed by how insistent she is on following the same doomed path. On the other, if they change things too drastically and Toorisun or Yulnia dies and joins the time loop, he thinks he’ll stab someone. Possibly himself.

“But I came immediately last time,” he says, “and I still didn’t make it in time. Do you think you’ll be able to change things enough on your own to keep all three of you safe?”

Jiroon twists a strand of hair anxiously. “I… I don’t know. We’re a bit… outclassed… in terms of combat power, so I think it’d be hard…”

“Then how are we supposed to stop this cycle?”

Jiroon seems to shrink in on herself. “I just thought…”

Nagyunn takes pity on her. “It’s fine. There are other things we could try to change. I could probably convince the Qilin to send the search party out tonight instead of tomorrow morning—”

Ah, that’s right. He’d forgotten that the knight has a soft spot for Nagyunn.

“—so you should just focus on staying awake without arousing suspicion.”

“I’ll try, but I still haven’t figured out how they’re drugging us. I haven’t let the others accept anything from them so far.”

“They’re probably slipping something into your water,” Najin says.

“Yes, but I was watching them much more closely last time…”

“Well, to be safe, you should probably avoid drinking anything tonight,” Nagyunn says. “Yulnia probably won’t listen, but if you can, try to convince Toorisun to do the same. Say that Najin uses it as a training regiment or something, I don’t know. It’ll just be for one evening.”

“I see… that’s probably for the best,” Jiroon sighs. “I’ll give it a shot. Thank you for all the help, Nagyunn.”

“Don’t mention it.” He turns back to Najin. “Let’s go to the training grounds?”

“Sure,” Najin says.

“Are you coming, Jiroon?”

“I’ll head over with Quaring,” she replies. “I’ll see you two in a bit.”

Najin shrugs and falls into step with Nagyunn. The walk is awkwardly silent.

When they’ve almost arrived, he clears his throat and says, “So, um.”

Nagyunn side-eyes him.

“…Sorry,” he mumbles.

Nagyunn sighs. “Najin, I just… I don’t know. Am I so undependable?”

“No!” he shouts. He flushes and lowers his voice. “No, not at all, but… I don’t know, I just didn’t think you needed to be involved. Since you didn’t seem to remember anything.”

“I mean, yeah… but—” He sighs again. “Well, I guess I shouldn’t be surprised that you’ve been trying to become more independent. I just… I don’t know. I wish you wouldn’t keep me out of the loop.”

“I’m sorry. I’ll tell you next time for sure, alright?”

Nagyunn searches his eyes to confirm that he’s telling the truth. Najin offers a small smile.

(He’s been keeping secrets from his brother for years now; it isn’t nearly so easy for Nagyunn to read him anymore.)

His lie passes muster.

“Alright,” Nagyunn says. “Thank you.”

Najin relaxes a bit.

“But, also…”

All the tension immediately floods back in.

“And, um, you don’t have to answer this if you’re not comfortable with it,” Nagyunn says, which of course only serves to make Najin even more uneasy, “but… in that first time loop. Are you sure the loop reset if either of us died?”

Najin smiles nervously. “Where’d this come from?”

“Jiroon seems to remember dying,” Nagyunn says. “I don’t.”

What… is he supposed to say to that? If I didn’t die first then I kept killing myself until I could save you. Oh, and by the way, Jiroon’s only dying now because of that.

“Well, a lot of things have changed this time around,” Najin says calmly. “I guess I don’t really know either.”

Nagyunn stares at him for a long time. He can sense Najin’s uneasiness, he thinks, so Nagyunn probably knows he’s lying. But he thinks the truth would hurt him much more than this, and he’s been through enough as is.

Yes, Najin has failed to protect Nagyunn in most of the ways that matter. But he can at least protect him from this.

“…alright, Jin-ah,” Nagyunn says at length. “But you know you can tell me anything, right? I’ll always be there for you.”

“I know,” he says simply. “We… let’s go in. We’re going to be late.”

Mercifully, Nagyunn lets it drop.

In the evening, once Darang has brought news of the runaways, Nagyunn pulls Zius aside and persuades him to send out search parties tonight. In another life, if Nagyunn had had the interest for it, Najin thinks he probably could’ve done well in the knights with sheer charisma and brainpower alone.

As soon as they’re in the forest, Najin splits from the others and makes a beeline for Jiroon’s group. Jiroon must have succeeded in convincing Toorisun, because they’re both awake when he arrives. They both leap to their feet when they finally notice Najin’s approach.

“N-Najin—I’m not going back until I meet with the Qilin!” Toorisun shouts immediately.

Najin groans. This idiot.

Jiroon’s would-be murderers take notice of the commotion and also approach. “What’s—”

The purple-haired girl tenses at the sight of Najin. “You…”

“Oh,” Najin says. People who recognize him and react hostilely, but who he does not recognize. There’s only really one possibility, isn’t there? “Dragon’s Descendants.”

He can see the gears turning in their head.

“What?” Toorisun exclaims. “I—”

Stupidly, they choose to fight.

By the time Fidorance arrives, the Dragon’s Descendants have long fled. Najin has half a mind to follow them and kill them, to prevent any future mishaps between their schemes and Nagyunn, but forces himself to stay behind. Nagyunn said he wanted to stay with the knights and see where it could take them; he’s not going to ruin that with un-knightly behavior.

They return to camp in dour silence. Just before the runaways are led off by Zius—probably for an earful—Jiroon turns back to him and mouths, thank you.

Najin suppresses an eyeroll.

Whatever. It’s fixed then, right? He’s glad to be free of this business again.

Jiroon seeks him out the following afternoon, after Zius has given out the mission briefings again.

“There you are,” she says. “I was hoping I could catch you before you left.”

Najin doesn’t look back, continuing to practice his strike acuity. He only just got Wadrin to leave him alone, and now this? “What do you want?”

“Well… first of all, thank you again, for yesterday.”

“You already told me that.”

Jiroon laughs, undeterred. “I guess I did. You guys are all leaving tomorrow, right?”

Najin switches to a backhand strike. “Yeah.”

“I see. Um… so I don’t mean to pry, but—”

“I can’t tell you where we’re going, if that’s what you’re going to ask.”

“No,” Jiroon says. “it’s not that. I told you already, I only wanted to make sure Toorisun and Yulnia didn’t do anything impulsive. This is about Nagyunn.”

That gets his attention.

Najin straightens up out of his battle stance, turning as he does, but he does not sheath his sword.

“What about my brother?” he asks calmly.

He can tell Jiroon chooses her next words carefully. “So… he’s experienced these time loops before too, right?”

Najin considers that. There’s not really a point to lying about that anymore. “They were different from what you went through. But sort of.”

“He died then, right?”

Najin’s grip on his sword tightens. “Do you actually have a point with all this, or are you just going to keep wasting my time?”

Jiroon sighs. “Najin… I’m not trying to antagonize you. I just… don’t really understand why you were so insistent on leaving him out of this. I had assumed you two were close.”

“We are.”

“Then…?”

“I mean, wasting my time was enough, don’t you think?” Najin says carelessly. “Why are you so insistent on getting Nagyunn involved?”

“But it wasn’t a waste of time,” Jiroon says. “He resolved the situation so easily. Would you have been able to convince the Qilin?”

“I don’t know, would you have been able to defeat those two?” Najin scowls. “You realize that this whole situation arose because you lack the strength to carry out your convictions. You talk about wanting to be a knight, but you knew the future and you still managed to get yourself killed. Where do you get your confidence from?”

Jiroon flinches. “I—that…”

“Cat got your tongue?” he mocks. “Now you finally have nothing to say? Good. If you don’t have the talent for it, then maybe you should just focus on yourself. Stop poking your nose into other people’s business until you have the strength to back it up.”

“But if I hadn’t joined those two, they would’ve blindly—”

“What, let slip some information about the knights?” Najin laughs. “Please. They barely know anything, they’re ranked so low. Even if they had accidentally led them here, Zius and Darang would’ve taken care of them. So what did you prevent, hm? What do you contribute to the apprentices at all? Did you even manage to stop Yulnia from eating anything weird?”

Jiroon is almost shivering now, eyes unfocused. “I…”

Najin goes for the killing blow.

“You’ve been thinking it too, haven’t you?” he murmurs, leaning in close to her. “That we’d all be better off without you.”

He’s so close that he can feel her trembling.

Then, without warning, she shoves him.

“Get away from me. S-so what if I sometimes need help?” she snaps, cheeks flushed, eyes shining with tears. “We were never meant to work alone anyway. E-even the Qilin gets help from others.”

“That’s what weaklings say,” Najin says. “It seems to me that you’re just making excuses for the fact that you don’t have the strength or the conviction to do anything on your own.”

“Yeah, it would seem that way to you,” Jiroon says, “because you’re afraid to ask for help.”

Najin narrows his eyes. “What does that mean.”

“It means you only ever get this nasty when I start talking about Nagyunn!” Jiroon yells. “I don’t know what happened between you two—probably the time loops—I guess you had to watch him die a few times—”

There’s static in his ears. “Shut up.”

“—and—and…” Understanding dawns on her face. “…and you think it’s your fault.”

“You talk a lot for someone who can’t even save herself,” Najin says loudly.

A hard set appears in her eyes. “Look, there you go again. But all this was never about me. You’re overcompensating now, trying to protect Nagyunn from everything—"

“Shut up!”

“—but you’re not any more capable of doing everything alone than I am!” Jiroon yells over him. “So stop shutting people out!”

“What the fuck does it matter to you?” he shouts back. “Leave me alone!”

“Because you’re hurting your brother!” she snaps. “Did you not see his face yesterday? You think he doesn’t know you’re hiding things from him? Do you really think you’re doing him a favor by keeping all these secrets?”

“What would you even know about Nagyunn?” Najin sneers. “Why do you even care?”

“I’m his friend!” she yells. “Which maybe you’d know if you ever pulled your head out of your ass long enough to look around! For the record, he’s the one who’s been encouraging me to keep trying—that’s where I get my confidence from, since you were asking oh-so-kindly earlier!”

Najin blinks, momentarily startled out of his anger. “He—”

“Yes—he has friends unlike someone, because he’s not busy obsessing over his brother and all the things he’s hiding from him,” Jiroon continues hotly. “You know what, maybe I was wrong. Maybe you’re not afraid to ask people for help, you just have no one you can ask for help. You won’t let any of the apprentices get close to you, and you’ve shut your own brother out—”

“I have not.”

“—so maybe you’re right! Maybe I can’t ever be a knight. But at least I can be a human being.”

“I’d ask Nagyunn for help if I needed it,” Najin snaps. “It’s just not necessary. And I don’t care about any of the others, they’re worthless to me.”

She stares him directly in the eye.

“How many times, then?” she asks quietly.

“What?”

“You heard me. How many times did Nagyunn die before you finally asked him for help?”

Najin stares.

“He’s the most important thing in the world to you, isn’t he?” Jiroon says. “But you couldn’t even ask him for help with that? Even though you saw how easily he resolved the problem with me?”

“That doesn’t—it’s not like it really makes a difference—I…”

Jiroon crosses her arms and waits, but no other answer is forthcoming.

Finally, she sighs.

“You know, Najin,” she says, “to be really honest you’ve been kind of a dick to me and everyone else, and I don’t actually care if you ever figure this shit out or not. But I do generally like Nagyunn, and the way you’re acting is not only hurting him personally, it’s also going to drive off anyone else who could ever care about him. So—if nothing else, for his sake, can’t you be a bit more honest with him? I promise you, things get easier when you don’t carry them alone.”

Najin tries valiantly to sort out his jumbled thoughts, to no avail. The only thing he can come up with is:

“…fuck off.”

Jiroon sighs defeatedly, turns, and stalks off without another word.

The five of them leave for the eastern continent after that: him, Nagyunn, Marsha, Pymel, and Zius.

Despite all their preparation, they’re caught almost immediately after disembarking. Nagyunn is led away by the general on his own, and then it’s just the four of them, tense and on edge but forced to pretend they’re still just ordinary smugglers.

Nagyunn is back in less than half an hour, but to Najin it feels like ages, the sinking sun marking time conspicuously across the reddening sky.

“I think it’ll be safe for us to split up,” Nagyunn says.

“Then—”

“No, Najin,” Zius says. “You and Marsha are coming with me. Pymel will stay behind.”

“But Nagyunn has almost no combat power. If something goes wrong—”

(Najin loses the ensuing argument. Badly.)

In the morning, Nagyunn goes to meet the general again. Pymel stays behind, and the rest of them are dispatched to the outskirts of town, where they meet a man who calls himself a dragon.

At first, Najin is disinterested. The strange man really only seems interested in Zius, who is also content to do all the talking, so Najin simply tunes them out. Until—

“Child of Fire.”

He starts.

The strange man grins, lizard-like eyes narrowing into ominous slits. “Oh, so you were already aware. Then you must also know about the imbalances you have brought into the world. The one you have saved… his existence is a bit troublesome for me.”

…Never mind. It doesn’t matter what he knows.

If he’s going to threaten Nagyunn, Najin will just kill him.

Zius jerks Najin back before he can fully unsheathe his sword, eyes glowing gold as he glares at Najin and shakes his head.

Najin ignores him. “I’ll kill you.”

“You cannot,” the strange man says.

“Then I’ll kill myself,” Najin says, ignoring Zius’s alarmed stare and Marsha’s startled confusion, “so don’t even think about it.”

The man sighs. “How bothersome…”

And the world goes black.

The being is waiting for Najin.

Najin is waiting for it too, sword of haze and dreams already in hand.

“Are you with that man?” he demands.

“He has already told you what he is,” the being says, unperturbed.

…so, a dragon. Well, why not. He’s been repeating time to save Nagyunn, and now to save the ones that have died in his stead. There might as well be dragons. Sure.

“You have accepted it,” the being says. “Good.”

Najin sighs. “Who, then?”

“That’s for you to find out,” it tells him blandly. “Or, of course, if you are tired of righting the things that have gone wrong, you could always try to set your world back on its original course.”

“Don’t suggest that ever again.”

“The dragon was right, you know,” the being continues, as if it did not hear him. “These imbalances will continue to form. Do you truly have enough conviction to clean up these messes for the rest of your life, Child of Fire?”

“Yes,” Najin says. “If that’s what it will take.”

“A heavy burden to bear alone. But how very human of you,” god says. “Well, in any case, I suppose a little hint wouldn’t hurt. His name is Naryun—though you may know him better as the Broken Spear.”

…what the fuck.

“So I have to defect?” he asks, but god does not answer.

The between space dissolves, abyssal black replaced by normal darkness once more.

Najin wakes.

He sits up. He’s in the inn they were told to stay in again. Nagyunn and Zius are gone, but they’ll be back in soon to wake the others and head out.

Lovely. He’s not even on the same continent as the Broken Spear right now. He has no idea what killed him or how he’s supposed to fix that. And even if he was back on the central continent, it’s not as if he can work with the guy, not after what Nagyunn pulled. So how…

Unbidden, an annoying memory surfaces:

I promise you, things get easier when you don’t carry them alone.

…like he needed her to tell him something like that.

If nothing else, for his sake, can’t you be a bit more honest with him?

He grits his teeth. Is he really going to let someone like that get under his skin?

You just have no one you can ask for help, Jiroon taunts.

Najin buries his head in his hands and groans. Fine! Fine, he’ll go to Nagyunn for help. He is definitely not doing this to prove Jiroon wrong or anything.

He forces himself up and checks the neighboring room. As expected, he can distantly make out Nagyunn and Zius’s voices.

He pushes the door open a crack.

“Jin-ah!” Nagyunn perks up immediately when he notices him. “Good morning. Did you sleep well?”

“Fine,” Najin rasps, voice still creaky with sleep. “Can you come back to our room for a moment?”

“Sure,” Nagyunn agrees, and follows him out.

Once the door is shut behind him, Nagyunn turns toward him expectantly.

Najin hesitates. He hadn’t thought this far ahead. How much should he tell him? Definitely not about the actual cause of these time loops, but maybe a bit about the being he keeps meeting wouldn’t hurt… that would at least explain how he knows about Naryun.

Okay, that should work. He gives Nagyunn a quick rundown of the situation.

“That’s a bit…” Nagyunn brings a hand over his mouth, gaze calculating as the gears start to turn. “Okay, I think… it’ll be tricky, but I can try to convince the Qilin to contact the others and tell them not to get in contact with the skeleton. And you—try to convince the dragon, when you meet him, to help you out. Or at least figure out what he wants. Even if this fails, any information you get from him will help us next time, alright?”

Najin lets out a breath. It really was that easy, for Nagyunn, to see a way out.

…and his shoulders really do feel lighter. Fuck. He hates that Jiroon was right about that too.

“Okay,” Najin says. “Let’s go with that.”

“Alright.” Nagyunn gets up again. “Then I’ll go talk with Qilin-nim before he heads out.”

“Let me know how it goes,” he says.

“I will,” Nagyunn says. He pauses at the door. “Oh, and Najin?”

“Hm?”

“…thank you for letting me help,” he says, and then he steps out, letting the door swing shut behind him.

Alone in the room once more, Najin collapses backwards onto his bed, covering his face with a heavy sigh.

What had that being said—a heavy burden to bear alone? It must’ve been echoing Najin’s thoughts back at him, hoping to dig up some insecurities and persuade Najin to return the world to its original path.

But why did it take him so long to realize?

He was never alone to begin with.

thinking about a Najin time loop au BUT other people are sent back (time loop requirement ambiguous) but only after Najin's successfully survived the day. hell on fucking earth for everyone involved.

Najin's been looping while trying to keep him AND Nagyunn alive for an uncountable number of times and is just getting angrier each time. it takes him way too long to ask Nagyunn for help with this because he's supposed to be protecting him, damn it, and he's just spent so many years hiding everything from him that it just doesn't occur to ask him for help. he keeps trying to attack the author-god thing from Gilgamesh in the space between dying and waking.

oh, just thought of Najin getting trapped in other people's time loops and being forced to help them. he'd be soooo fucking mad. he just got out of hell and now he's stuck in it with someone he probably doesn't even like. what if it's an every time someone dies (in the canon timeline) thing. first Jiroon (counting the day she's stabbed as the death day because she's comatose after which is not as fun and mostly out of people's hands) who is very confused, because she has memories of both timelines now, and the Najin in front of her and the Najin she remembers are very different people, and that scenario is discounting the very real possibility that Najin just dipped with Nagyunn before the dragon's descendants could kill them.

and regardless of how they meet, she also has emotional intelligence and is willing to use it on him, which means his mountain of shit that he refuses to touch is very much about to be poked by the closest thing he's ever had to a therapist, so, of course, he's going to poke at her insecurities much more maliciously than she ever did him. her insecurities about being a knight and how it's gotten her killed in two separate timelines come up so he says she never should have tried and it hurts so bad but she agrees with him. but, well, she's handling this whole situation much better than he ever has, and over the course of it she starts to build up her confidence and she stops just taking it when he's an ass to her and starts giving what she gets and they start kinda getting along, and eventually, he admits that she's probably the most knightly person he's ever met and that she's more than proved herself throughout all this. and she says that he's not so bad himself, and what do you know, that's the loop they finally both survive.

and then days after this he gets stuck with Naryun.

[redraven393]

Transformers one time? Yes, it IS

help it is so weird to see him without a face mask, it felt naked.

what are you up to OP?? uh? ah the archives! - Opp to loud- OhhHH~ Lore.

oh no time to bounce OP- wait, Orian Pax?? oh well I can still can call him OP- OMG YOU'RE A REGULAR AT THIS?

buddy you do not negotiate about this with feds- OP- PFFFT okay

HE'S A DORK!

uh? - Uhhhh???- OP???- omg-sure take the snacks- OMG WHY IS EVERYONE KNOW YOU OP???

Opp get caught- omg??? MEGSS???? I recognize that bucket head everywhere.

D-16??- aww they're BFF! - omg he is a dork- Sentinel Prime, eh? will he be a jerk this time around? - the surface?

--------------------

OP: just imagine if we have a Cog- D-16: I will transform into a shovel to hit you OP: ... I don't like how fast you answer that

YOUR HONOR THEY ARE DORKS!!

------------------

Megatronus prime is quite loved in this one huh? to still be called strong and not a tyrant? - and aww D-16 is a fan

did my eyes deceive me or is that fukin WHEELJACK & JAZZ??? YAUBSJ

to the MINES! - JETPACKS!

OHHH ELITA MY DARLING! -omg she's a manager- pfft OP please

ohh? this is a unique mining system- uh oh Wheely- oh no

JAZZ BABY NOOOO-

----------

Jazz: Just leave me! OP: ok Jazz: no wait :(

I love him

----------

THEY'RE SAFE!

aww Elita I am so sorry for you Darling- oh no OP don't- yeah kind expect that

oh, Sentinel home ~ is that Sunstriker? or am I crazy anytime I see the red and gold duo I just Twins???

wait its I-acon not La-con??? omg- huh he already sounds sketchy to me D-16

PROWL! - shut up Sentinel I knew you were a hack anyway- PROWL!!

ohh~ a competition at the 5000th birthday of Iacon?

MORE THAN MEETS THE EYE He SAYS IT HE SAYS THE THING!

this version OP is so much fun btw I love him but just like D-16 I too want to shake him like a Maraca- OP dear pls don't take your only best friends to a death trap

glitch as swear words for the bots is everything-, FINALLY we are back to our roots of unique swear words

aww that is so sweet.

ARCEEE!!- IRONHIDE!

huh so Quenteson is in this mess huh? 50 years, so not a recent development but not that old either

the previous Primes are so cool!

oh? - OH- PAX PLEASE!!!- and.... they're off, okay who's planning the funeral for these idiots?

aww at least Arcee is rooting for them :) - BLURR!!!!- SKYFIRE!!!!

----------

D-16: if we live, I'll KILL you OP: okay bestie :D

dorks

-----------

Opp almost- SWINDLE- TAILGATE!! :D- JETSTORM!

NOO- oh no guys please don't be that dumb- they are that dumb omg- Fuk you darkwing

HOTROD! >:D - Mirage!!- oh wat? Magnets? - omg they might actually win this- fuking shoot for the skies next time I guess

CHROMIA! (you fukin bitch)

--------------

well, you guys did wonderful for Minerbots actually

Arachnid - oh? I didn't know we were chill like that Sentinel? are we cool? - are we cool or is he still like a douche? like not Villainy but just ya know an Ick?

is he a frat dude???/

well at least you guys are not going to the slums- Hi~ DarkWing you good buddy~?

fuk you darkwing- sorry boys guess I jinx it- uhm an empurata?

OMG BUMBLEBEE MY BABY BB!! :D :D

oh, darling what have they done to you- sheeshh Bee Honey you are not meant to be here, who is evil enough to make you stuck in here!

Orion dear, Dee darling please save this boy- STEVE! - oh honey D:

OH lore? YO?! - yeah you better watch yourself D-16- didn't the just tell you that they are going to the surface? AGAIN?

Yay you brough the boy- what is the surface anyway? are they like in an eternal lockdown inside the planet’s surface or???- Elita please! -

----------------------

omg? is the planet growing mountains? - you're in Elita? - yeah Bee you got the right idea- oh nooo-

off- ELITA Darling please- hey you were the reason we were out of the train in the first place- ohh robot animals?

Bee honey please-why is it not metal? - a city?? in the surface? rust?

omg-uhhhh tense- wtf was that -Plants? in a metal world?

HOLLY SHIT is that a dead body- is the dead Quinteson rotting body makes the plantation?

oh- omg the all there??- are they eaten or were they murdered>

oh? Alpha Trion? He LIVE!? - might want to rest up a bit old guy-

oh? - huh so AT is unfamiliar with Cog less bot? - Oh? so Sentinel is a bitch then?

oh, wait so there are multiple primes at the same time? huh

SENTINEL YOU ARE A BITCH

so, it just corroded away? - I knew them living under the planet was just fukin weird- wait, are they?? using the TFP dronecon?

OMG those bitch - yeah D-16 we need a revolution

hey now, no need to victim blames here, you all are screwed- no need to fight with each other

oh, shit ok chill my guy, I’m in for the murder but like chill

omg I say it again Sentinel is a bitch-

oh? AT what are you doing- omg is it okay to like took from the dead like this??-

Omg upgrade!!- let's go! - glad Bee is here with us btw my boy deserves this.

say it say the line AT- Nonoo he didn't say the line all I want is for some to say the line WE WERE SO CLOSE TO THE LINE!!!

Opp uh oh someone is here- well if you won't say it I will

Till All are One Alpha Trion

it’s the TFP Dronecon!!! :D where is the REAL Steve- OMG he's a MAXIMAL! a RHINO! - Airchanid, you bitch

pfft L- yeah for someone who never have cogs before having them will be quite difficult - Bee so far have the most natural ability in this

HE'S A TANK! - OH NO BB D: - oh he's okay- aww look at all these dorks

oh no D-16 have a taste in blood- hmm tension is in the air

SENTINEL YU BITCH (I’ll say when ever I see him) -god he's frat boy personality sound so fukin annoying now.

Till all are one Alpha Trion, rest in peace

SHUT UP SENTINEL- okay wait so are all of them a triple changer? is that like a more normal thing here?

the nonmetal nature in Cybertron is still messing me up tbh.

------------------

oh no is this D-16 emo era? are we getting closer to Megatron?

I mean yeah, he's right OP there is a reason it took 50 cycles for even any of you to realize this and you guys got some Hard proof

UH OH- WHOOO???- they are surface bots?? -

STARSCREAM!!! - SHOCKWAVE!!!!!- SOUNDWAVE!!!! AHUVS AGVTW

omg Bee honey- oOhhH the high guards, eh? - OP please.

where are the other members of your usual trios Star???- uhhh yeah you guys are intense

oh? go off D-16 my king??? - OoOHhh

FIGHTFIGHTFIGHTFIGHTFIGHTFIGHTFIGHTFIGHTFIGHTFIGHTFIGHTFIGHT

uhh? Star are you a masochist? - oh shit that is some big ass gun-

oh, shit here comes the revolutions - oh no mommy is here.

Piggy bag ride let’s go!

FIGHTFIGHTFIGHTFIGHTFIGHTFIGHTFIGHTFIGHTFIGHTFIGHTFIGHTFIGHT- part 2

well at least Star still have his cowardly persona- Yeah Go ELITA! oh no- ah shit

---------------

not my boy nooooo- where all of the positive thinking go OP??

PFFT okay ELITA- Elita my queen please I love you but please!

yeah, there's no way you guys can do this alone YOU NEED to have more bots at your cause

YEAH, QUEEN GO OFF! - I love Elita did I say that already I’ll say it again. ILOVE YOU ELITA OUR QUEEN!!

also looks like there is no empurata in this verse HURRAY

I also love Shockwave and Soundwaves btw they are my blorboos

HE SAYS THE LINE!!!!!

--------

BEE YOU OKAY :D- SHUT THE FUCK UP SENTINEL YOU BITCH

omg so that's why he has that annoying high pitch voice-

-------

D-16: you are a traitor Sentinel: NU UH! >:(

I fukin het him

---------

don’t touch him you bitch- THAT BITCH!!- that fucker- YOU"RE DRAWINGS ARE SHIT!

OP SAVE YOUR BESTIE- fucker you can fly???-

oh, hey Ironhide??- YEAH EAT SHIT DARKWING- oh hey Springer????

Smokescreen?? oh hey Prowl -

SPEACH SPEACH SPEACH SPEACH SPEACH SPEACH SPEACH SPEACH SPEACH

say the line damn it- why is no one saying the LINE

------

fukin sentinel you bitch- D-16 honey please take a rest

yeah, ELITA LET'S GOO-THE MINERS LET'S GOOOOO

FIGHTFIGHTFIGHTFIGHTFIGHTFIGHTFIGHTFIGHTFIGHTFIGHT - part 3

EWWWW WTF AIRACHNID- KILL IT KILL HER

Perfect landing if I do say so myself- hey you guys~

bestie we're here for you :D - okay still in that murder drive I see- what is your power exactly Soundwave

FACE MASK FOR MY BOY >:D- lmao get wrecked fuker- KNIFE HAND!

Sentinel you bitch- someone record that bitch's monolog so we can stream it to everyone later- oh yeah, we have the one who always see everything

omg the baby has a taste in blood now-

YEAH, GO OFF KING GET THAT BITCH!

someone make sure Bee is okay, he has too much fun in this

WELCOME TWICH STREAM CHATS TODAY WE ARE EXPOXING THE GOVERMENT!

okay guys maybe let's still be gentle in the mines those stuff is explosive right??

D-16 Please be chill omg- let's not destroy the whole city and like have more collateral damage

shut up sentinel you bitch - OP WHY??!!!- okay you guys let's focus on Sentinel first then-

OP! - omg fukin why!!! why can’t any of you be chill- that's why you need to be chill for once!

D-16? - D-16 buddy pull him up please don't - BITCH WHY????- THERE IS NO REASON FOR THAT!!! NO FUKIN REASON?!-

well, you make your choices, better kill that motherfucker like you said you would.

Primus if you're in there somewhere please god you better save this stupid ass mech- Primus you here?

oh, shit yeah public execution- oh yeah D-16? is this where we going to start a fukin tyranny?

oh, hey guys chilling in the afterlife? - THE MATRIX! >:D

welp boys introducing the new leaders of the two factions Megatron and Optimus prime

MEGATRON BUDDY PLEASE FUKIN CHILL - my guy please be chill

hey Optimus, will still be calling you OP- oh dear the newly Exes meet each other

guys please we do not need to see you two having a fight between the Exes here at the public- ohh fire power Ey?

everyone is just running away and you know what same I too would not want to be anywhere near this shit

THE BATTLE AXE! - you guys need to not be her this is between them only

guys please- this is just some bad break up please someone learn to communicate?

good God Primus all mighty

WHY ARE YOU GUYS SHOWING US THIS AT THIS MOMENT FUK

welp there he goes up in the surface- is the Energon still not flowing?

are you flirting with Elita Op? after just breaking up with Megs not too long ago? (/jk)

--------

Bee: I GET TO WORK FOR THE GOVERNMENT :O?! Bee: this the greatest day of my life >:D

I love him

-------

the Energon is flowing again let’s go!!!!!- the COGS!! LET'S GOOO

IRONHIDE!!! - SIDESWIPE!! - ARCEE - JAZZ - AUTOBOTS no wait so we are not warring with the Decepticon then?

ROOOL Credits

Oh, shit I guess we are fighting the Decepticon- cool tattoo btw Megs

[saeyoungchoismaid]

Okay so I just finished my first round of Andromeda Six and here are some thoughts I have (both good and bad!). Pls feel free to comment with your thoughts or send asks or message me or whatever!! I'll update this anytime I get more info or think of smth new to add lol. Warning: obvi will contain spoilers.

The amnesia thing - I think the biggest thing for me that I wanna talk about rn is the whole royalty thing. While in general the whole thing is a really cool idea and either way I still love the plot, I think the whole 'I'm royalty' thing was WAY too obvious. Like the SECOND the a6 crew revealed where they found me, I was like "okay cool so I'm the princess got it." and then everything after that only fueled that theory (which obvi turned out to be right). Idk I just think if you're gonna have a game that's based around your main protagonist having amnesia, you need to make the player just confused as the char yk what I'm sayin? Like I shouldn't be able to know stuff that the char I'm playing as doesn't know yk? 😂

Nerissa - I think one of the biggest things for the fandom (that I've seen really only on Tumblr by the way lol) is the whole Nerissa thing so here's my two cents lol. I actually really like the plot twist of Nerissa being alive. My only thing is that it doesn't really make sense and bc she's alive, the whole thing with Vexx at the prison where he breaks down kinda gets (almost?) vetoed in response. To explain, I think it doesn't really add up that, at first, Oppo and others were like 'yeah, only the youngest princess' body wasn't found' (which in general was already weird cause ??? how do they know that her body wasn't found but then people also apparently quote unquote "didn't know she existed" like huh????). They mentioned NOTHING about the literal heir's body being missing??? Like idk if Zovack did that on purpose (and if so ???? homie wyd lmao) but if not, it's a big plot hole in my opinion lmao. Also just the fact that she was literally shot by Vexx (who held her bleeding out and dying body in his arms) and then shows up later like 'yeah no I'm completely fine actually' is CRAZY. Like what kinda medicine do these folks got that makes that so easy?? Like she's not on crutches, has a cast, a limp, like ANYTHING. It's absolutely bonkers to me. It's just very OP like okay so she can literally be shot in the future now and I literally won't react cause she's apparently immortal 💀 N e ways I think it's cool that the MC can choose to basically defy Nerissa and be like miss girl you're so wrong and I don't wanna do that is SO SLAY. Cause yeah no she was not it at first (and I lowkey didn't like her for a phat min). Also, kinda off topic, but I was surprised they actually showed what she looked like. Like, I guess her skin tone is ambiguous enough to work, but I think it would make more sense if they just said somewhere that the king had more than one wife, had a side hoe he got pregnant, yk smth like that lmao

Different species/race - As someone who has only played the game once, I'm not completely sure about what I'm about to say next, so pls correct me if I'm wrong! I think it's really cool that you get to choose from 3 different species in the beginning of the game. I was hoping that this meant that this would change your backstory, but from seeing some posts about this on Tumblr, I'm assuming this means that certain things will change but overall your backstory is the same and you're still royalty. Which is fine as long as the different species thing actually makes a difference. I just thought it'd be cool for one if it's like oh you're a human? Yeah, you're Peg'asi. Oh, you wanna be Tilaari? That's cool, but this character doesn't like you bc of it. Like that kind of thing would be super cool! Anyway, either way it's fine lol it's just a thought I had

Vexx - I haven't seen anyone say otherwise, but I personally really love Vexx and his arc/development. I never really blamed him for what he did since it was literally done against his will (and turns out Nerissa is alive anyway so it's like okay I can't even be upset that you killed her when she's literally alive). Something I will say though (which is kinda similar to my stance on the amnesia thing) is that I think it'd be nice to have a little more doubt on whether or not Vexx is on our side or not. Like, when you first find him and regain your memories, he's pretty cutthroat after the shock he initially feels. After that though, anytime you see him, it'd be described as 'an emotion I can't decipher crosses his face' or 'a piece of the old him flashes in his eyes' kind of thing and I was just like "yeah okay so he's good but is just being brainwashed or being blackmailed or smth." Like, there was no danger in it. Not once was I ever like "omg no he's gonna kill me/my friends/my boyfriend/etc!!!!!" Like no dude he's just a lil guy that needs help lmao. So yeah, a lil more uncertainty about him would've been super cool (or even an alt route where he really is bad and they didn't make him do anything. like there could be choices in the memory section of the game of your time in the palace where like if you were rude to him, he actually betrayed y'all kind of thing)

Kitalpha - I might just be dumb, but when Aya was explaining her backstory about her home planet, I was a little lost. Like, I understand the basics ig, but I overall am still confused on how it actually got destroyed lol. I read the Wiki and it still kinda doesn't make sense to me. Also, the info dump they give on this (and a lot of stuff in general) is CRAZY. Like I need so much time to process what you just said and you're already laying another bomb on me lmoa. That aside, I think it's really weird that such a (apparently) major planet that (apparently) hosted a major species went supernova 10 years ago and you just never hear anyone talk about it??? Even Aya says that people kinda just forgot about it and moved on. Like girl HOW?? (Like okay yeah with the whole Zovack thing I can understand cause they got more important matters ig but he only overthrew the throne a MONTH ago like what were people doing before then lmao). It also didn't make sense to me as to why no one wanted to help them??? Like Aya explains that they were just met with closed doors from EVERYONE. Like why??? What about a dying planet/species is so bad that people are like 'yeah, that sucks and all, but we aren't gonna help. Good luck w that tho! 🥰' Also, I saw someone on here say that they wish there was more definitive features for the Kitalphan than just having gills and I agree! I didn't even notice that Vexx had them for the longest time. Also the fact that we never get a scene where Aya/you/Vexx get to actually use them (to my knowledge anyway) is insane. Like, what's even the point of giving them the gills then??? lmao

Update: I found this post that explains more in detail about the races. "It was, despite that, their own choice as to whether to live above or under water, and those who chose to do so submerged, had their bodies altered to further adapt to their environment; webbed fingers and toes, bright colored skins to allow for better camouflage among sea life, nictitating membrane over their eyes. Those who chose to live inland, on the other hand, kept to the more human appearance, with only the gills telling the difference." So, from my understanding, those who choose/chose to live underwater are the ones that are more fish like whereas the ones who choose/chose to live on ground are the ones who look like Vexx and Aya (more humanoid looking but still fish-like qualities like gills). Still think it would be cool if we could then meet a Kitalphan that chooses to live underwater!!

Time - speaking of it only being a month, it's only been a MONTH bro???? Like, Zovack overthrew the throne, had the entire Peg'asi family killed, you've been with the A6 crew trying to regain your memories, visit like 4 planets, find love, discover your sister is alive, and start planning out your plans for a war all in ONE MONTH. Like, ig it's not super inaccurate, it's just kinda crazy yk? 😂 I saw someone say that they wished we could've spent more time on all the planets and I completely agree. For some like Orion, it makes sense that we couldn't really stick around lmao. For others though, I didn't understand why there couldn't be more downtime ig? Idk maybe it's as simple as there's nothing interesting enough to write about that will keep the player's attention that's not just boring filler? But eh idk how much I believe that. Instead of info dumping a lot of stuff, they could've spread it out for moments like these where like yeah we aren't exploring this planet or whatever necessarily, but we are learning more lore while we are here getting gas lol. Also the fact that other planets get mentioned but we don't actually get to see or learn anything about them. I can't think of any examples off the top of my head (but if anyone really wants I can go through the logs to find them), but like planets or stations they'd stop to refuel or whatever just never really get talked about. I think there was a place that was similar to Teranium or Cersa that everyone was like 'omg be careful here like don't wander off alone' and then like nothing happens (or am I crazy and mixing my stuff up and I'm just yappin??? lmao. I'll probs come back and edit this once I play the game again). (I actually think it might've been the pitstop they mentioned that was ruled by mercs so they probs wouldn't have any problems with the K'Merii. Maybe it's the place they're supposed to go to on their way to Goldis?? Cause isn't it that the place that Khandar (help is that their name??? Google isn't telling me his name help pls 😭) said he has contacts??)

Damon - I'm so down bad for this man it's not even funny. His route is the first and only route I've done so far and I really just have one thing to critique I suppose. I fell in love w his char bc he's this super tough, mysterious, elusive guy that teases the shit outta you and just in general dgaf lmao. When you choose his route, pretty much all of that goes out the window. Now, don't get me wrong here. I still love Damon and I love that we get to see his sweeter/softer side, but I don't like how his bad boy side kinda just disappears. Like, maybe in chap 9/10 it'll show up more, but since choosing his route, he's kinda just become a big ol softy (which again I love that about him but I just kinda miss mean Damon lmao). Like, when the whole Wren thing happened, I feel like as soon as Wren points the gun in our face, OG Damon would've gone FERAL. Like, even if knows he can't actually like stop them or whatever by fighting, like just starting to mouth off to get attention off of us would've been so UGH. Idk maybe this is just a me thing bc I like crazy men but yeah would've liked more consistency ig in that aspect?? lmao. Like, there was one point in the game where I lowkey almost didn't choose Damon cause he was such an asshole (and almost went w the other loml Bash). Like THATS THE ENERGY IM HERE FOR. Make him a morally grey char and stick w it yk what I mean? Yes, he has walls up and he's actually very sweet and care about his found family and has a soft spot for cats and blah blah blah, but you also need to remember his upbringing and why he is the way he is ykkkkk

June - Maybe this gets explained later or more in his route, but when he's explaining his backstory and who he is, I was a little stumped. I mean, he wonders the exact same thing, but why is it that he can withstand the testing that was done to him and is now a super human, but his own twin brother and soldiers and whoever can't. What makes him so special? I figured he was able to become this super human and the K'Merii and whoever couldn't bc he was being tested on when he was still in the womb. Again though, if this is the case, why did his brother not make it? Would love to know more about that whole thing

Okay I'll stfu for now...but I'm sure I'll be back LMAO

[luffysinterlude]

REMEMBER WHEN. . .

★ summary: the straw hat pirates reminisce on some fun memories while voyaging through the Grand Line.

★ warnings: chatroom au/comedic relief, mentions of pregnancy, cursing, takes place after water seven/pre thriller bark, ooc characters, use of yn + female reader in mind, flirty!yn + the crew teases yn a bit ><, zoro x reader…kinda..im biased im sorry 😞 + some things are NOT canon and i just made it up :p

★ an: hiii!! there is not enough one piece fanfic content on this app in my opinion (i feel like i’ve read almost every piece, all have been amazing), so here’s my attempt at making more!! also, i’m still pretty new to the op fandom, so some characters may be a little ooc. i’m still reading/watching thriller bark so pls bare with me! also this is a chatroom au because i don’t have access to social app anymore *cry*. anyway, please enjoy!

NOW ONLINE [9]. . .

yn: SIGHHHHHHHHHH

robin: is everything okay, yn?

chopper: yeah yn, is everything okay?

zoro: probably not

yn: just thinking

usopp: thinking about where we’ll be next? praying manifesting it isnt anywhere scary

chopper: everywhere we’ve been has been terrifying

nami: yeah usopp

nami: its like we goto hell, leave it, and then enter another part of it

nami: i think we should just start expecting the worst

zoro: maybe we should all just get a lil more stronger. starting with the blonde pervert we have as our cook

sanji: I DIDNT EVEN SAY ANYTHING YET

sanji: AND YOURE THE ONE TO TALK!

sanji: MUST I REMIND YOU THAT I LITERALLLLY JUST SAVED YOU AND USOPP AT THAT TOWER

luffy: oooooo thinking about what? tell me tell me tell me!

sanji: now, my dearest yn, please let me know if theres anyway i can assist you

zoro: she probably doesn’t want your help lmfao no offense

sanji: WHOOOO was even talking to you? I SAID YN’S NAME IN THE TEXT DAMMIT

nami: can you two idiots cut it out already? its like, i can hear your voices through my screen and i don’t like that

franky: yeah it’s actually kinda crazy i can hear you all…without actually being in your presence

chopper: soooo yn?

luffy: yeah yn what’s going on?

yn: just sitting here thinking about all of our fun adventures. like wow we actually did all of that and it was like…real life

yn: i feel like if i didnt know you guys and didn’t experience it then it wouldn’t sound real

yn: but like wow it was all real

robin: we’ve had some wild times, haven’t we?

luffy: LOL yeah that might’ve been on me

luffy: but we’ve survived this long

luffy: we’ll continue to survive because fate loves us!

nami: -.-

sanji: luffy’s right, surprisingly

sanji: sometimes i think about how fate brought us together…or atleast i think about how fate brought me nami yn and robin together

yn: watch it pretty boy

sanji: YES MA’AM

sanji: screenshotting

zoro: ignoring that dude. i think it’s amazing how we prevail every time. we get stronger without realizing

yn: i mean we did fly into the sky

yn: thats so crazy we actually like. flew. in the air. on a ship.

nami: yeah all thanks to me ;*

yn: thank u pretty i remember falling in love with you then and there

franky: WHAT THE HELL

franky: YOU GUYS FLEW IN THE AIR WITH MERRY?!

usopp: HELL YEAH MERRY FLEWWW

usopp: FRANKY YOU SHOULDVE SEEN IT

usopp: there was this gigantic whirlpool below us and everything

chopper: haha yeah that was crazy! and those giant monkeys

robin: oh! yes, the saruyama alliance. i could never forget the amount of fun i had during our time on Jaya Island

yn: robin i love u but FUNNNNNN???-?-?-!-? DID WE FORGET ABOUT THAT STUPID FOREST CRICKET HAD US GO INTO?!1? i still have nightmares of that stupid south bird and its stupid face and the way it made all those stupid bugs chase me

luffy: haha those south birds were really something else

nami: it’s funny because we had no idea what was coming next

zoro: that stupid “God” was next. what was his name again? emily? enemy….?

zoro: well shit i’ve forgot. it was somethin else though. his stupid lightning

franky: BROTHER WHAT

franky: YOU GUYS FOUGHT….A GOD?!?!1???!!!?

franky: was it like….you know…..THE GOD

chopper: not really sure what you mean but that guy enel really had some sort of crazy insane powers

chopper: him and his crazy insane priests were able to predict our moves!

robin: oh yeah. he electrocuted zoro, yn, and i.

yn: pls dont remind me TT

yn: he scares me because i feel like he somehow is still alive

yn: like what if hes reading our messages

nami: i never thought of it like that…

nami: enel if ur reading this please drop 1,000,000,000 berries down from the sky

luffy: i wish the skypeians and shandians rang the bell more often.

luffy: haha oh well! i know they’re doing just fine! :D

usopp: well thanks to yn now i’m reminscing TT

usopp: it feels like alabasta JUST happened

robin: well, we did just face the world government

robin: technically crocodile was apart of it

usopp: YEAH AND YOU WERE HIS ASSISTANT OR WHATEVER

robin: that’s the past. i had to do what i needed to do to survive. and i’m glad i was, considering i was able to find you all <3

yn: ROBINNNNNNN TT

nami: ROBINNNNN

sanji: robin i wouldve followed you to hades’ kingdom if i had to. i will always protect you (and nami and yn. the others can fend for themselves).

luffy: hahahaha i agree!! see, fate loves us

chopper: WE LOVE U ROBIN

franky: YEAH! WE LOVE SISTER ROBIN!

zoro: appreciate ya.

usopp: YEAAAA WE LOVE ROBIN!

yn: shoutout to us

yn: i love us

yn: i love being a strawhat

chopper: same!!! forever and always gonna be a strawhat!!

luffy: i love our little family!

luffy: without you all, i wouldn’t be as close as i am to reaching my dream! so thank you!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

luffy: also sanji when is dinner gonna be ready so i know when to head back to the sunny

nami: same

nami: now i’m really reminiscing. do you guys remember when yn thought she was pregnant

usopp: i-

usopp: …

yn: NAMI

yn: alright well.

sanji: WHATTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTT TT

sanji: also luffy dinner will be ready when its dinner time. its mid day. if you’re hungry i have snacks in the fridge or since you’re running around this island, find a food stand

sanji: BUT WHATTTTTT DID NAMI JUST SAY

chopper: HUUUUUUUUUUUUH

robin: what a naughty girl you are, nami. teasing yn about her “almost” pregnancy

nami: yk me! but i remember being soooooo worried only for the pregnancy test to come back negative

zoro: yn?

franky: LITTLE SIS YN…DOES THE DEED….BUT SHE LOOKS SO INNOCENT

luffy: oh wow cool sanji thanks!

luffy: also congrats yn? but where will the baby stay?

usopp: did you even read nami’s text

luffy: oh..right LOL that’s good! i can’t imagine yn having a baby. plus how are babies even made

chopper: :o

nami: …

robin: your innocence is apart of my will to live

yn: luffy TT

sanji: THROUGH LOVE! BABIES ARE MADE THROUGH LOVE!!!

luffy: oh sickkkkkk do you guys think we can make one?

yn: oh luffy TT

nami: well!

sanji: he’ll come around

luffy: LOL BRB

LUFFY has gone offline.

chopper: wonder what he’s up to

yn: probably found food like sanji told him to

zoro: yeah he kind of left the store we’re at and i have no desire to look for him right now

zoro: oh nevermind. he just went outside to buy meat from a vendor. he’s good, still in my eyesight

chopper: also

chopper: YN WHY DIDNT YOU TELL ME

yn: chopper >< you were still fairly new to the crew then

yn: but this happened after we left chopper’s hometown

yn: i think i was just sick because of the crazy weather changes, plus nami has just recovered and didn’t want anyone to be worried sick :p

zoro: why didnt you tell me?

zoro: you’re apart of the crew too, ya know.

usopp: interesting

sanji: you stupid ass MOSSHEAD WHY WOULD SHE TELL YOU HER BUSINESS

nami: sigh

nami: its like the most obvious thing ever

robin: i’m afraid it just isn’t clicking for him.

yn: it’s not like i didn’t wanna tell you

zoro: okay so why didn’t you

sanji: WATCH HOW YOU SPEAK TO HER DUMBASS!

yn: LMFAOOO I REMEMBER WHY I DIDNT TELL YOU

yn: YOU GOT LOST AS SOON AS WE GOT TO ALABASTA

yn: and by time i found you, i had already forgotten that i thought i was pregnant because there was a whole warlord wanting us dead so

zoro: hmm. okay. well next time..

sanji: YOU DIDNT HAVE TO EXPLAIN TO HIM YN YOURE BETTER THAN HIM IN EVERY WAY

zoro: if you ever need a safe space. you know.

yn: hehe yes i do. but i apologize for not telling you as soon as i felt…different. it’s just that we’ll always have bigger issues to worry about

franky: ummmm are we interrupting something

zoro: hm

zoro: nah. yn and i will talk later when we see each other.

zoro: for now i’m thinkin about that time luffy and i got beat up on jaya island. now i’m annoyed.

zoro: the principle of the matter was good but i really just had to sit there and take an ass beating when i could’ve handled the entire bar

zoro: ehhhh now i’m gonna go workout. if anyone needs me you know where to find me.

ZORO has gone offline.

yn: he left saying “you know where to find me” as if we’ll actually know

robin: i really hope he finds his way back to the sunny.

sanji: he can get lost for all i care

yn: it’s crazy that i really thought i was pregnant that one time

yn: even vivi thought so

nami: i was super worried

nami: so worried i was reading every book we had to find anything i could help you with

usopp: well i’m offended cause why didn’t you tell me i thought we were besties

yn: wellllllllll no offense but full offense, you have “i-can’t-seem-to-keep-my-mouth-shut” disease

yn: just yappin all day everyday

franky: so, sister yn, zoro huh?

sanji: DONT OFFEND HER LIKE THAT YOU IDIOT!

usopp: HEYYYYY!!!!! I WOULDVE KEPT A SECRET

sanji: yn my loveeeeee you know you could always tell me your secrets

yn: i cant lie i almost let it slip when i helped you with dinner that night

yn: but again, bigger fish to fry

sanji: screenshotted again

sanji: did you guys see that? shes flirting with me. might die

robin: hm not sure what part of that was flirting but whatever makes you happy.

nami: oooo franky’s quick

franky: it isn’t hard to tell

chopper: what’re you all talking about!!?

yn: nothing important you little cute doctor

chopper: >~< SHUT UP! >~< THAT DOESNT WORK ON ME!!

sanji: robin! nami! yn!!!! i will be going offline to go back to the sunny to make some snacks. would you ladies do me the pleasure of enjoying them? should they be ready before you all arrive?

robin: please do! surprise us this time :)

yn: hell yea sanji you know i’d never say no to you

nami: lol yes please! i’m kind of craving something sweet

sanji: OFF TO THE KITCHEN I GO!! GIVE ME AN HOUR!!

SANJI has gone offline.

yn: well now that those three are gone

yn: i worry about them a lot

yn: i feel like those three find trouble every where we go

chopper: same but we’re all like, insanely strong now!

chopper: and it’s not like we’re actively looking for trouble, sometimes we just want to chill

nami: yeah. but now, more than ever, i feel more secure

nami: like wow he’s really gonna be king of the pirates

yn: most definitely. we only ever get stronger

usopp: yeaaaaaaaaaaaaa obviously i’ve had my doubts but…

usopp: it’s never been because of luffy

robin: ever since i met you guys again on alabasta…

robin: i knew you all would give me a life worth living

yn: robin’s so sweet online it makes me want to cry

yn: well shes always sweet

franky: SISTER ROBIN TT

nami: robin, i’m curious. how did you find our ship?

robin: well it was just docked and i figured i’d finally take a rest somewhere. if you all hadn’t left alabasta by time i had woken up, then i wouldn’t have stayed. like luffy says, fate loves us.

franky: WHAAAAAT you just…..snuck on? O.O

chopper: oh yeah i remember!

chopper: i’m not gonna lie, i was a little intimidated by you at first

yn: OH HOW COULD I FORGETTTTTTTTT

yn: chopper wasn’t there when we first met robin!

nami: oh yeah!

yn: franky chopper omg like have i ever told the story of how i first fell in love with robin

usopp: OH YEAH she blew that guy’s ship up

usopp: i wonder how vivi’s doing

nami: VIVI TT i hope she’s okay

nami: but yeah i agree. i was scared shitless of robin but then she told me she got me treasure

franky: WOAH ROBIN BLEW SOMEONES SHIP UP?

robin: not entirely. he survived and thats what matters

franky: i mean i guess

franky: i was definitely intimidated by luffy when we first met. even though that was like three weeks ago

franky: i can’t lie he still sometimes intimidates me

yn: brother ur half machine

franky: YEAH BUT MOSTLY HUMAN!!!

franky: anyway sisters. you guys have to tell me more stories at dinner later i have to go refill the coke tanks, see ya!

FRANKY has gone offline.

usopp: well chat

usopp: i usually help him so i’ll be going back too

usopp: yn i’m expecting way more details later after dinner

usopp: or zoro. but preferably before you see zoro

chopper: i’ll help! girls if you need me for anything i’ll be with those two!!

yn: um…okay…? we’ll see u all later!!!

USOPP has gone offline.

CHOPPER has gone offline.

nami: and now it’s just us three

nami: sorry for bringing your pregnancy scare up

nami: i’m getting my nails done right now and i can’t really seem to remember our journeys

yn: its all good

yn: i kinda forgot about it

robin: we’ve been through so much our brains probably started to black out any unwanted memories. i’ve read that it happens

robin: and yn, i don’t blame you. i would’ve been worried sick if i was apart of the crew then. but since it’s just us…

yn: omg let us catch you up

yn: so basically..i had…with…and then…

nami: —.—

nami: she had sex with someone *cough* zoro *cough* and started puking the next morning

yn: NAMIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII

yn: TT

nami: i definitely thought it was pregnancy

robin: silly girls. you do realize pregnancy symptoms don’t happen overnight, right?

robin: also, yn. it’s obvious. i’ve seen the way you two are always the first ones missing during our celebrations

nami: well……..yeah but

nami: we can never be TOO safe

yn: mmm if you hadn’t caught on by now then i’d be surprised

yn: i was still scared

yn: i think it was more of a “wow me and zoro actually did that and it was real”

nami: it’s just….in a forest?!-?

nami: with…HIM!!!-?-?-?-??

nami: you can have any man or woman or creature you want and you stillllllllll………….

yn: i was running on adrenaline. that dude and his stupid ass candle wax drove me insane

yn: plus you both know i kinda have a little crush on the guy

yn: i can fix him

nami: okayyyyyy whatever you say.

nami: pfttt “little” and you guys are basically dating in my head

robin: i forgot his actual name but i’m assuming you guys are talking about mr. 3

robin: ah yes his wax is quite the problem. i wonder if hes alive still

nami: i was seriously stressed out

nami: but honestly, since we’re on the topic, i’m glad i joined luffy

nami: there was this one time, yn i’m sure you remember

nami: right before going to the baratie

yn: the day we went to the baratie TT

yn: but what happened before i kinda forgot

nami: WHY’RE YOU ALWAYS FORGETTING THINGS

nami: anyway when we ran into your crazy psycho ex

yn: OMG

yn: AND HE THREATENED LUFFY

yn: AND THEN LUFFY THREW HIM INTO THE OCEAN TT

robin: oh? tell me more about this ex of yours. i’m interested

yn: he kinda followed us after luffy saved me from HIM

yn: um so basically..you know my devil fruit powers…yeah he held them over my head and threatened to tell the marines about me and

nami: it was chaos. but it was the first time i’ve seen yn in combat and it was mind blowing

robin: luffy being our life saver and our little brother

robin: what would we do without him

yn: you’re right

yn: but i think at this point, we’re all strong enough to handle our own. if i ever see my ex again i’ll beat him so bad

nami: yeah me too! cause he had the crazy audacity to ask me out after i found out what he did to you!

nami: either way, i’m just happy we’re still all together. you know since we’ve been throwing the word fate around, i’m really starting to believe it. luffy has a really good sense of knowing who should join our crew

yn: he does :’)

yn: he gave me a family

robin: well we should probably go check on the boys now. i’ll meet you all at the sunny <3

robin: come back safely.

nami: yeah!! you too robin! yn, bring us some goodies! i’ll see you both later!!

yn: I LOVE YOU GUYS BE SAFE ILL SEE YOU SOON

yn: can’t wait to see u guys again

nami: ….you saw us this morning.

ROBIN has gone offline.

NAMI has gone offline.

YN has gone offline.

CHATROOM IS NOW CLOSED [0].

NOW ONLINE [1]. . .

LUFFY is now online.

luffy: HEY GUYSSSSSSS

luffy: IM BACK

luffy: i ate some meat and came back to the shop we were at but zoro isnt here anymore so i’m wondering if you guys happen to know where he is!

luffy: ….

luffy: oh the chatroom closed

luffy: well i guess i better get back to the sunny!

luffy: hopefully my friends make it back safely! we still have more adventures to take care of

luffy: wow these things are so cool i’m just talking to myself

luffy: i wonder if i can get one on the sunny…

luffy: OH WELL

LUFFY has gone offline.

CHATROOM IS NOW CLOSED [0].

★ an [2]: ahhh!! my first work is now done ☺️ honestly this was all self indulgent because i’ve been going through some personal things and right now the strawhats are my comfort zone. i decided to make it like a big groupchat because i don’t really have any friends irl or online so this makes me feel a lil better ☺️! i hope you all enjoyed.

its a lil messy because when i first started this i was about to began Thriller Bark but as I’m typing this I’m currently on the Sabaody Archipelago arc and things are getting more exciting like omg hello mr. Trafalgar Law I’ve been waiting for your debut….

if you enjoyed this please like and reblog! maybe i’ll start writing more drabbles idk. it used to be my thing when i was still using @/krazykento and jjk used to be my comfort zone. also, if you want to be friends please don’t be shy to say anything! i’d love to make new friends!!

[ciboriaadastra]

Well, the postmortem pooping tends to happen because of decomposition, unless the death involves the body being suspended in the air and that's gravity doing its thing as the muscles relax or the death was traumatic and the deceased just shit themselves in fear.

Dying slowly of [Kryptonite] radiation poisoning is not the same as having been dead for several hours.

Though, it doesn't rule out pooping, because radiation targeted at the abdominal and pelvic areas can cause diarrhea (see: radiation enteritis) as well as bloating and rectal bleeding. This means—hypothetically—if you shot him in the ass with a Kryptonite bullet, he might have the bloodiest, most excruciating supershart a person has ever had the misfortune of expelling. And that'd be a messy endeavor to try to perform the surgery to save him.

Taking off the suit after he shat himself would also be interesting. Especially if you think about how skintight some iterations (Henry Cavill) are...the force of the shit might rip the suit at the ass or his entire back of his body from neck to foot is covered in shit because it has to go somewhere.

I just need to know if a) being depowered by Kryptonite essentially makes Clark human temporarily and 2) if that means he has to poop/pee while depowered and if 3) he even knows how to do either of those things

[as-i-watch]

sorry op i read your tags theyre very good and ooo are you on the zoro aro/ace agenda👀i love them i love you pls if you have any thoughts about them id love to hear it bc i love acearo-spec zoro but hes pretty uncommon

My beloved anon the zoro aro/ace agenda is all the agenda i ever had

To me Zoro is so *violently* aro/ace coded that it's simply a fact in my head. Luffy too. It baffles me to hear is uncommon

But it also makes the shipping so fun. For Zoro the most common ships are with Sanji and with Luffy. When i see stuff about Zoro and Luffy's ship i just think ok, an aro/ace relationship, but with Sanji? Its hilarious bc Sanji is so queer coded on his own right, so my read on that ship is that Sanji has a one sided obsession with Zoro and this guy just has no idea what the fuck is the matter with that cook.

Anyways, i love aspec Zoro

[chuuyasheaven]

400 follower special thingy!!

no one is paying attention to my boy atsushi and it makes me so sad so if possible i would like to do atsushi with prompt 10 and stress relief with soft/passionate sex, whiny atsushi as well pls :)

(fem! reader too btw !!)

anyways that’s all, hope you have an amazing rest of your day and congratulations<33

Prompt+K!nk; 10: “Quit teasing me, darling..” | 7: soft/passionate sex / 8: stress relief.

Summary; Working at the detective agency can sometimes be really overwhelming for Atsushi, so maybe you could help your darling! <3

Warnings; switch!Atsushi, switch!fem!Reader, hand jobs, praising kink (not from the list), soft/passionate sex, stress relief, dirty talk (kinda), pw/op, petnames, overstimulation, Reader sits on Atsu’s lap, teasing, etc.

Format; Short fic? (idk bruh)

Notes (from me); YOU ARE SOO RIGHT..but also, i have a unfinished draft for him!! BUT LET ME GIVE HIM HIS JUSTICE!!!💪🔥🔥

“You’re doing so well, Atsu..”, you praised him, as you were stroking his cock.

The whines that left Atsushi’s mouth, those were true heaven.

“Mhm..feels g-good..”, you were glad that he was, this weeks mission was to stressful for your poor darling, so you wanted to relieve him from it.

Picking up the speed, Atsushi hitched his breath, his head resting on your neck.

You noticed that he was close, the precum slowly coating your hand.

Suddenly, you slowed down and then eventually stopped at once.

“W-why did you stop? I-i was close, darling..”, he whined, you smirked to yourself.

“Don’t you want to cum inside me, Atsu? Somewhere,”, you started stroking him again, “where it’s warm..wet enough for you just to slide in.”, Atsushi started whining and moaning as you picked up the speed, “dying to be fucked by your cock, baby.”

“Quit teasing me, darling..”, you were gonna be the death of him.

Atsushi felt his knot tightening by each stroke. When it finally broke, he felt true bliss. Yes, he was relieved from some stress, but what about you?

“Take off your panties, dear, let me give you the same treatment..”, slightly surprised by this, you got a little wetter, loosing the ability to dominate him.

“A-atsu, it’s really not necessary! I just needed you to relax-”, “It’s a command, princess, fuck yourself on my cock, ‘kay?”, you did so as he wanted.

Throwing ‘em on the floor, you positioned yourself on his cock, already hard from just feeling your slick dripping onto his tip.

You let yourself sink down on his cock, feeling all dizzy from the pleasure.

Since you already were wet enough, you started bouncing right away, sending the both of you to oblivion.

“F-fuck! Oh my god..Atsushi! Feels s’good..”, notice a pattern here?

The pleasure was making you grow weaker to bounce, so Atsushi improvised.

He was on top of you now, continuing fucking into you, soft and passionate, desperate to feel his high.

You didn’t mind the change, it hit all the right places, whimpers and moans leaving your lips as you just lay there.

“S-such a good girl, hm? Wanting to take care of me..now who’s taking care, darling?”

How was he suddenly such a teaser?

“You f-feel so fucking good around me..oh fuck..”, Atsushi's breathy moans and whines just brought you closer to your high.

Then it came crushing to you, after some while it came crushing to him too.

I HATE THIS SM. BUT THE END WAS SO EFFING RUSHED?! BUT YEAH THIS IS THE BEST I CAN DO!! 😦

[citrusotakutea]

This is a different anon, but i want to continue on the points you've said about Alucard, the new fandoms interpretation of him, and hellsing and correcting some stuff. First of all thank you for actually giving good points on why youre not fond of the recent fans of the fandom, and i agree with most of the points you make. New Alucard fans are so weird because they will objectify him and miss his entire character completely and or water it down,,and for the "Vladdy big bara tiddies mm" people, whats up with that mandela effect? He was shown shirtless and he was hairless in both anime and manga, you guys should try actually watching the anime next time. Not sure where to start on the Alucard x integra part because of how jarringly popular it is, but "almost just as bad as aluseras" isn't accurate to me because atleast Aluseras is legal, Alucard and integra aren't (they met when she was 12, seras was 19). I personally dislike both, but the hate is more personal towards Alucard x integra because the only people who ship it are the people who heavily mischaractarize the both of them, and Alucard mischaractarization kills me, i can't care less about integra (sorry op) but even i out of all people know it's bad for her. The entire organization exists because they hate each other, yes, Alucard may not directly hate integra, but her grandfather is abraham for fucks sake. Why in the world would integra betray both her grandfather and father just to date the "monster" that they spent all their lives trying to defeat. The literal Dracula x any Hellsing member will never work, Alucard only works for the organization out of respect for abraham after he (a human) managed to defeat him, and his job is to serve the family and any master who comes after, which right now is integra. There is no romantic chemistry at all, it's his job. (Sorry for the ramble op, theres just too many reasons why this ship sucks ass) i think the abridged ruined a generation by forcing it on everyone. For your second point, Alucard and seras weren't canonically said to have a father/daughter relationship by the author, but some writers who worked on Ultimate, and even so they said they were unsure (correct me if im wrong pls!), but seras has pip anyways so it obviously won't be anything more. I personally only like Alumina because its the most canon with Alucard, althought it's left very vague so we don't fully know, kouta hirano has stated that Alucards story is more accurate on Draculas part rather than Vlads, which means he most probably loves mina. "He was in his girl form the entire time in WW2" it wasn't actually the entire time, in a short backstory shot, there was Alucard (with his normal red coat shown, no hat or glasses tho) shown next to young walter (same as the dawns), he turned into a girl to prove a point to walter after they arrived in the melliunium base (walter asking "wheres your form" to Alucard, indicating that it may be a first time thing") but the dawn is unfinished so we wont know if he changes between forms, but he was still shown in his male form in 1944. For people who read the last post, the bonus book op is reffering about is the official hellsing guide book (im guessing since you mentioned it has no translation, i recently got a hold of it and im currently working on a translation myself) And yes KH was a hentai artist, the original Hellsing oneshot (Legends of the vampire hunter) was actually a hentai too, easier to find translated than most of his older work. And for that last part, you're real for that i support you op (again sorry for all the rambling and thank you so much if you read!!)

I won't stand for the Sir Integra slander here but thank you for correcting me on the Hellsing lore anon!

And yes, I was talking about the guide book. Obviously anon, but getting a translation of that would be amazing, there's so much content we're missing out on from that ;-;

[mrsjavierp]

Where you belong?

Chapter 8 - Fill the Void

Javier Peña x latin!f!reader

Summary: Running away from life as you always knew to start a new position as Head Chief on a DEA Office, far away, on Colombia. There, you'll face violence, as you never thought you could. There, you'll meet Javier Peña, your stubborn agent...

Warnings (to the whole fic): +18!, angst, smut, cheating, last relationships, drug dealing - Narcos Universe (not so accurate), bad spanish, english is my second language, use of Y/N and Y/LN. No physical description of the reader, only your clothes (sometimes). The POVs are shifting between reader (first person and Narrator - 3rd person)

(If I forgot anything, tell me, pls!)

Word Count: 4k

A/N: Thanks for your feedback, hope you enjoy this chapter! Hope to hear from you all soon! I'm also working on two stories (one shots) to our beloved Joel Miller and our corny cowboy Agent Whiskey

Tag: @creedslove | @pedrostories | @mjoee13 | @immyowndefender | @iamsherlocked-1998 | @pedroswife69 |

***

Narrator’s POV:

Arriving at the CNP headquarters, Steve, Javier and you get there almost at the same time.

The tension between you and Javier was noticeable. Steve knew better than asking either of you: he wanted to live to see his girls again… And to catch Escobar.

When you locked the door in your office, the tears started appearing. 

You lied to Javier about not remembering breakfast: you hoped he lied about it too. You actually couldn't recall talking about Ben.

Fuck, was a name you didn't think in a very long time… 

Especially after meeting Javi.  

Is Javi that full of himself to say that to me? What did he mean by that? What did I tell him? And most important: what he really knew about Ben? - You thought.

On the other side of the door, Javier’s mind was racing, trying not to act by impulse. But he decided to call a friend in NYC, who could tell him all he wanted about your history with your ex. He needed to understand why you were so worked up, why that bothered so badly.

However, he didn’t want Steve to suspect anything. Luckly, they got a tip about La Quica again, that he was buying a toilet... The same one that was on La Catedral and heading to the hills on San Isidro road.

When Steve went to speak to Jacoby, to fly Centra Spike over that location, Peña took the shot and called Joe:

“Hey, Joe!” - he greeted him.

“Took you long enough, Javi, you bastard!”

“Well, I tried to avoid long distance calls, you know I hate them.”

“Oh, so the rumors are true, you left your wife in Texas?”

“I did... Better for her and little Lucas, you know…” - he was looking over his shoulder, but no one seemed to be paying attention to him.

“So, how is Y/LN on the colombian field?”

“So far so good, man. She's a good cop…”

“She was one of the best here… But I’m betting my chips that it is not about her resume you called, you want the dirty, am I right?”

Javier laughed. 

“You fucking bastard, I knew it!”

“So, what you’ve got about her and her ex?” - Peña asked.

“Peña, that was a huge mess… He was already working here for a while and, months later, she arrived from the NYPD through the front door and found by herself a lead to a prostitution scheme… It was so big that it was a closed door OP, top secret stuff, it was only her, me, our boss and another couple of guys. The operation involved high-class prostitutes, working for high profile narcos. Ben heard the rumors about the OP and tried to sweet talk her to join it… But you know how she is with her work… Things do not mix at all.”

“Oh, I know…” - Javi sighed.

“Yep, so you know the deal... At first, it was just an evil comment here and there. I don’t know if she heard it, she trusted him, she was going to marry him. We were working our asses off, long and crazy hours. He took advantage and lied to her. He got sloppy and the rumors continued to grow... But I still don't know what she knew. Anyway, his luck didn’t last long: we were about to bust a brothel on the night that the narcos were there. Guess who was in one of those filthy beds?”

“No way…” - Javier closed his eyes, incapable of believing it.

“Yep. She found out on the job. Didn't help when she also discovered that he was trying to trade inside info with criminals.”

“Fuck, he was a dirty cop?”

“Yep. Luckily, she was too up-tight with all of her work. Not only was she as clean as a whistle, she got promoted to Colombia.”

“I can't believe it. Fuck...”

“Like a motherfucking movie, am I right?”

“Thanks for telling me. I can understand her behavior now…”

“She's one of the best cops I've ever got to work, Peña. She didn't deserve that.”

“I believe you. Well, thanks, man. Call if you need anything.”

Peña hung up the phone, if he was a mess before, now he was a wreck. The same questions were going through his mind again: How is he going to keep Lorraine away? How will he manage his boy's custody? How is he divorcing her and keep you in the dark, until the process is over?

A couple hours later, the tip to Centra Spike  worked: a conversation between another sicario, Velasco, and his lover is recorded.

You, Steve, Javier, Centra Spike, Mili Group and CIA reunited to see area’s maps:

"Well, we can discard the smaller ones... Not Escobar's style." - Steve pointed out.

"Which one of these has at least 2 roads of access?" - you ask.

"This one, Y/LN." - Jones, from the CIA, responded.

"This is your winner, niños." - you draw a circle, indicating it.

"Y/LN, what about Pinzón? We're gonna need men, equipment, cars..." - Javier commented.

"Leave Pinzón to me, Peña." - you responded.

You went back to his office, but he refused.

"¡Cabrón!" - you thought.

You went back to yours, but in the way, Steve talked to you:

"Jefe, any luck?"

"Not yet... But let me handle it. He doesn't know who he's dealing with." - the boys looked at each other, curious.

You called Crosby, Crosby called Gaviria and… Let's wrap it up: about 15 minutes later, you all were preparing to bust Escobar.

All the efforts for nothing, unfortunately: Escobar escaped through your fingers, again.

Escobar, however, made a career fooling and killing police officers, what he thought was going to a truce about to happen turned into a fuse to another battle, which made him even more dangerous.

Days later, you all were right as the skies were blue: another attack came. 

Escobar's sicarios killed a bunch of Pinzón's men all around Medellín… 

Pinzón chose to resign - it was the last drop to his sanity. He wanted personal peace more than to defend his country… How would someone judge him? 

Escobar killed more than four hundred cops a year - although it was a risk, it had no garanties on being alive and no one could fulfill any expectations to actually get it done.

*

Days passed by and President Gaviria decided to bring Coronel Carrillo back from Spain, as soon as he could.

The first thing Carrillo did was talk to you, since Peña and Steve weren't alone anymore:

“So, Y/LN… You're the boss now. I hope that we can work together at the same pace.” - Carrillo smiled at you.

“Well, I can't say anything about style, but we sure make a hell of a team. I'm saying the same thing as I said to Peña and Murphy: I'm also a field agent… Don't let the high hills fool you.”

He smirked.

“Vamos, Y/LN. I've got to say hi to an old friend…”

****

Carrillo decided to put up a show: tell in grand style about who's back in town. The actual goal was putting Escobar's partners on the map, by transmission. So Carrillo would stick his nose out and so would Escobar.

He lets you, Javier and Steve mapping Escobar's spies.

About a couple hours later, he came back and you and your inside team did the best you all could to track them all.

“We captured six radio transmissions.” - Jacoby informed. - “But we haven't pinpointed the exact location.” 

“So our best bet is to corner each of these buildings. This time, we hit the ground.” - you said.

Carrillo ordered his soldier, Trujillo, to send 6 unmarked cars with 4 men each, to observe the buildings, with 20 minute-intervals to avoid attention.

After that, he called Peña to join him.

“Be careful out there.” - you warn them.

Minutes later, when you and Steve are alone, you ask:

“Steve, is he always like that? Taking Peña up and down?”

“Sometimes, Jefe… He probably just wants an update to what happened from someone he trusts… He doesn't know you yet, it's his way.“ - Steve told me.

You'd show Carrillo who you really were: a woman younger than all three (Steve, Peña and himself) whose balls were bigger. 

***

Peña, Trujillo, Carrillo and other officers captured 6 of the boys who were working for Escobar. 

They took them to a hidden alley, on Bairro Escobar.

They are on their knees, scared. Well, 5 of them, at least.

“Do you know who I am?” - Carrillo started. - “My name is Coronel Horacio Carrillo. Last week, 30 police officers were murdered.”

“Those pigs probably deserved it.” - one of them said.

“Shut up, kid.” - Javier murmured.

“Many of them were my friends. A person perched on rooftops guiding murders with radios are assassins themselves… I hope after this encounter you'll reconsider working with someone who thinks he's above the law.”

Although Javier knew Carrillo was right, something felt off. Wrong.

At the same time, Carrillo cocked his pistol.

“What?” - another boy provoked. He was no more than fifteen, brown skin. - “Am I supposed to shit my pants in fear?”

Javier's stomach ached badly. It's been a while since he was afraid of something.

“No.” - Carrillo responded, shaking his head. He pointed the gun and shot, with no hesitation.

His body just fell on the floor, like it was nothing.

“Am I making myself clear? I want you to tell your friends that this is what happens when you work for Pablo Escobar!” - he shouted.

Carrillo analyzed the boys and chose one: the youngest, probably no more than 7 years old. The boy was crying, in silence.

He bent down, looked deeply in his eyes and handed him a bullet.

“Take it.” - the little boy obeyed. - “Tell them this is for Pablo.”

Carrillo stood up again, as if nothing happened.

“Remember what you saw… And know what will happen to you if I see you on a rooftop. You can leave. Now!” 

The five boys ran as if their lives depended on it.

Javier couldn't move. He felt like throwing up. He looked at Carrillo, as if he asked something. 

Carrillo’s expression was cold and distant.

They all drove back to CNP in silence.

When they arrived back, Steve met Javi on his way out.

“Javi, where are the fucking spotters?” - Steve asked, anxious.

“Carrillo went a different way… He, uh… He cut them loose.” - Javier responded, screeching his head, tense. How the hell is he going to tell what happened?

“Oh, we're letting people go, now? I bet Y/LN will be pissed AF…”

Javi rolled his eyes and, lighting up a cigarette, said:

“Yeah, Murphy, we're letting people go.”

“And what does that mean?”

“Don’t worry about it, man.” - Javier opened the door of his truck. He needed to leave as fast as he could. He needed a hug. He needed to feel human again.

“Hey, fucking talk to me!” - Steve demanded, interrupting the friend.

“Let go my fucking arm.” 

“What the fuck happened?!” - Steve continued to bother Javier.

Javier sighted and responded:

“Carrillo put a gun to the kid's head and pulled the trigger… To make a fucking point.”

Steve swallowed hard. 

“We good now?” - Javier mocked, entered his car and headed to the apartment complex where you all lived.

***

About late at night, you hear fervorous knocks at your door.

You were awake, since you just got home.

You pick up your gun and open the door, without noticing that you were only wearing a thin long gray dress, showing your curves.

It was Javier, looking like shit with a bottle of whiskey and a cigar in hand.

“Let me in, please, cariño.” - his brown eyes were almost black. Sad and big.

You put down the gun and let him in.

“Peña, you look like shit… What happened?” - you asked, as you both sat down on your couch and he served whiskey to both of you and put the cigar in the astray.

“Salut, cariño.” - he raised his glass.

You raised as well, drank it up and put away the glass.

“Damn, Peña. That's good stuff… You didn't answer me. What happened?” - you uttered. You knew something bad had happened. The cigar, the good whiskey, his painful expression…

“Cariño, I… I don't know how to say it.” 

“Start from the beginning, Javi… I'm right here.” - you suggested, softly.

You were genuinely concerned for him.

He kissed your lips, softly, by surprise. 

You stop after a few minutes, reaching out for air. Your apartment felt like a thousand degrees. Your body was sweating, the adrenaline was running through your veins. But, again, you’d deny even from yourself.

“Javi…” - he already knew what you're going to say and he doesn't want to hear it again. 

“Cariño, please don't. Not now. I need to forget about today's route.”

“Okay, baby boy.” - you sat on his lap and kissed him deeply. He melted under your lips, his hands touching your body, hungry.

You only needed an excuse to be with him again. 

Just one more night… - you thought.

If you were wearing pants, they'd be on fire.

“Cariño, just a heads up…” - he started.

You looked at him, confused, waiting for the rest.

“I won’t be gentle. Right now, I can't. I'm really not capable… Are you okay with it?”

You continued on his lap, but now, you put your knees on each side of his body and he involved his arms around you. Even wearing clothes, the electricity was passing through both of you.

“Show me your worst, Peña… I dare you.” - you whisper.

He smiled, but his eyes darkened with lust.

Javier literally ripped your dress, revealing your skin.

“Hey! Are you fucking crazy, Javi?” - you yell at him. - “I’m gonna fucking…” - you didn't finish, as he slapped your cheek, not enough to hurt you, he never would, but enough to surprise you and make you shut up.

“You don't speak until you're spoken to, babygirl. You don't come until I say so. You won’t do anything without me saying. If you behave like a good girl, I may let you cum. If not, I'm gonna punish you. Understood?”

You shook your head positively, incapable of believing in what was happening.

He slapped your ass, bringing you back.

“Words, cariño.”

“Yes, I understood it.” - you responded, in a low voice.

Who was that man on Javier's body and where he was the first night we were fucked? - you thought. 

“Good girl, cariño…” - he touched your body, started at your neck and went down to your waist. - “Now, how do I begin? I've got so many options, so many possibilities… I know we only had sex one time, one night, but I feel like I know your body really well, cariño.”

You looked at him, anxious, waiting.

He picked you up in his arms and took you to your bed.

“Now, we're ruining your bed, cariño.”

He ripped your panties and, with no warning, kissed your mound. You relaxed as he kissed slowly for a bit. 

He got up, leaving you clenching over nothing.

He began to take off his suit and tie, your eyes hungry for him, mouth watering.

“What do you want, cariño?” - he asked, eyes locked up with yours.

“Can I help you undress, Javi?”

“Such a polite girl… Yeah, you can.”

You took off his tie, letting it rest on the bed. Helped him with the buttons on his shirt, holding back the urge to rip them as he did with your dress.

He took off his shoes and socks and you unbuckled his belt, letting it side with the tie… You had a dirty idea, but it would have to wait a bit.

At last, his pants went down with his boxers.

He was deciding on what to do, but you couldn't wait. Your hand touched his lower belly, aiming for his dick. 

“Oh, cariño, you want to use your mouth, now? Wanna please me?”

“Yes, Javi.”

“Beg for it.” - he said in that condescending tone you hated.

“Javi, please, let me suck your dick.” - you coo.

He caressed your cheek with one hand and the other held his shaft.

“I don't think you want it enough, cariño.” - and he slowly started going up and down his length. He had a stupid cocky smile on his face.

“You know I can be better than your hand, Javi… Please, let me touch you, I'm begging you…” - your voice barely was a whisper into your room.

“Go ahead, cariño… But don't be greedy. I don't wanna come right now.”

Your lips wrapped around his tip, while he held your head. Your tongue and lips worked up and down, while one of your hands cupped his balls.

“Fuck, cariño… I knew you were missing me, but didn't know you were so hungry for my cock.”

He grabbed your hair, setting the rhythm, until you couldn't stand only worth your knees on the bed, needing to claw at his tights, and your nose almost touching his pelvis. 

He was fucking your throat and you were so wet.

His mouth was making obscene sounds, saying how good you're doing, how badly he missed you and your beautiful lips.

He slowed down the rhythm, until he stopped, taking it off your mouth. His dick was aching for more, but he wanted to come inside of you.

“You did good, cariño. Can you continue to be a good girl for me?”

“Yeah, Javi.” - you responded. Your legs were trembling, your pussy throbbing for attention.

“Lay down and open your legs for me… Yes, just like that. Tell me, where did you leave your vibrator?”

“In the bathroom, the second drawer.”

“Don't move.”

He picked it up and examined it, curious about the pink wand in his hand.

“So, you've been touching yourself in the bathroom? Door closed? Biting your lips or a towel to not make any noise?”

You don't respond to it, you’re just running away from his glaze. 

He slapped your ass again.

“Look at me while I talk to you.” - he demanded. - “Answer me!”

“Y-y-yeah, Javi. I was doing it in the bathroom, biting a towel.” - you murmured.

“Now, you're gonna show me what you've been denying from me to hear, such as in person as through these walls… But don't come. Not until I say so.” - and handed you the vibrator.

“But Javi, I can't control myself when I use it…”

He smiled, the same sly smile you knew and hated.

“That's not my problem. You come when I say it.” - he was being ruthless towards you.

With your right hand shaking, you started to use your wand on the softest mode, as you were so aroused since it all started.

Your room was filled with vibration sounds and your moans. Your eyes looking at his figure, wishing he’d do something to you instead. 

You were also a hundred percent sure Javier was punishing you somehow. He wanted to prove himself again.

Javier, on the other hand, was admiring you. The way your pupils were dilated, your body was shaking, your smooth skin chilling, your beautiful pussy soaking wet… If he could, he'd take a picture just to eternalize that moment.

“O-o-oh fuck, Javi… I can't take it anymore… I'm so close, please, let me come!” - you beg.

He smirked at you.

“Oh, cariño, you're close?” - he leaned towards you, as if he was going to enter at your pussy. It only made it worse and closer, as you could almost feel his scent and his warm skin.

“Holyfuck, Javi, please! Please let me!” - you beg, desperately.

He grabbed his belt, tied your wrists together, holding your vibrator in your clitoris. After, he shoved his dick inside of you.

“Go ahead, cariño. Come for me and on me.” - he ordered.

You thank God he said that. You squealed his name high, releasing all of your juices onto him.

You were positively sure you woke up your neighbors.

“Oh, fuck! So good for me, cariño.” - Javier praised you.

He continued without any pity towards you, pounding hard inside you. 

Not only you’re embarrassingly wet, you were so overstimulated that the orgasm was knocking at your pussy again, so fast

“I love when you yell my name, cariño!” - he said, full of bliss.

“Javier, for god's sake!” - you yell again.

“¡Mierda! Cariño, are you close again?” - he asked with a devilish tone. - “What a delicious greedy pussy, missing me so much… Oh, fuck!”

Tears began to go down your face. It was impossible to hold anything more and, without his permission, you came again, your body shaking vigorously.

“Holy fuck, Y/N!” - It was his time to yell your name as loud as he could. - “I can... I can feel... You're so fucking tight, you're gonna rip my dick off!"

He untied you and turned off your wand. It relieved you for a bit, but he laid on top of you and chased his own orgasm. 

After he came, you both lay next to each other, gasping for air, eyes locked up to each other.

“I missed you so much, Javi…” - you reveal.

He smiled, happy. His hand went to your cheek, fondling.

“Yo también te extrañe, cariño. You have no idea…” (I missed you too.)

“I think I do, Javi… Te extrañe todos los malditos días desde la primera noche.” (I missed you all those damn days, since the first night.)

“Gracias a Díos, cariño. I thought I was alone in this mess.” (Thanks God.)

You laughed together.

“You can't pretend that you don't want to be with me anymore, cariño. I'm serious.” - he declared.

You sighed.

“I know, Javi… But we also know it's not that simple… We work together, I'm your boss, Escobar is on the run…”

“We can take it slow, we don't have to do anything you don't feel like it. But don't push me away again.” - Javier begged you.

“I really don't know how to, Javi. I don't know how to. I haven't dated since…” - you didn't finish.

His eyes were soft and warm, like cocoa on a winter night. Your heart felt like an ice cube on the sun, again. 

“Since your ex, Ben?” - he asked.

“Yep.” - you responded, popping the “p”. - “‘It’s not gonna be easy for you, so I’d like to warn you: if you have anything to tell me, tell me as soon as possible. I’m not gonna demand you to do it now, but think if you have anything to tell me, and if you do, you can.”

“First, we need to get to know each other. Build trust and I’m not talking about the field. Let’s get to know each other, talk, laugh, have sex, grab a bite. We’re neighbors, we don’t even need to leave our apartments if you don’t want to.”

“No one can know about us, Javier Jesus Peña. Not even Murphy.”

“Don’t worry about it, cariño.” - he pecked your lips softly.

“And please, don’t sleep with anyone else and it includes your informants.” - you rolled your eyes. - “I know, it’s stupid since we’re not in a relationship, but if you want to do it, please, just end this… this thing we’re about to begin. I’m not saying that again.”

“Cariño, for God’s sake!” - Javier laughed, his hand left your face to your waist. - “No one ever made me feel this way.” - you laughed. - “I’m serious, hermosa. Don’t worry about it.”

You breathe out heavily.

“Well, let’s see how it goes.” - you say, still not allowing your heart to sink further. - “We need a shower, Javi. Care to join me?”

He smiled and you both entered your bathroom... But Javier's mind didn't care for sleeping. He still needed to punish you for coming without his permission, while you were filling the bathtub, distracted.

"Of course, cariño... Besides, you haven't exactly been a good girl for me for a few days. Don't think I'll let you escape that easily."

Your eyes went to his naked figure, surprised.

"Oh, I thought I was off the hook..."

Next

[buttercupblu]

one day, the clouds parted and an Angel tumbled down, falling all the way from the celestial sphere, but landing light as a feather in a bushel of white roses. she looked up at the sky—brushing off her darkened wings—and with squinting eyes, gazed at a kingdom so bright but so rigid and said with a calm breath, "well screw you, i didn't want to be a part of that snooze fest anyway." and promptly made her own Heavens on Earth.

(in no particular order...maybe)

one punch (OP)

jojo's bizarre adventure (JJBA)

jujutsu kaisen (JJK) (lowkey regret the day i pressed play on this🤭)

record of ragnarok (ROR)

eventually attack on titan (AOT) once i'm finished with it (Levi should've been in the harem 🧍🏾‍♀️)

Angel's Heavens and why she loves them:

🩷Buddha (ROR): this man is my Lord and personal savior—watch ROR if you don't know what i'm talking about. Buddha exudes peace in his every waking and sleeping moment but try him if you want to and earn a first-class trip to Nirvana 😘. his tongue game is BRAZY (you've seen the gif) and he loves to BITE. he makes sure we do yoga together every single morning to start our day and after making sure my back is nice and stretched out, he breaks it 🧘🏾‍♀️. but he always puts me back together with soft coos, humming purrs, and tender strokes. this man is my lock screen, my peace, my husband, my everything. i keep him fed and not just with food; he will never know hunger as long as i am alive 🤍

💜Geto (JJK): mymanmymanmymanmymanmyman. if Sugu asked me to have his kids, i would say "how many baby?" and i am clearly not mother material 🥴. my husband #2 that i would turn my back against the JJK world for in a heartbeat. he could call me a 🙈 and i would say thank you. in all realness, i get geto. i really do. my little alien, my little aquarius, he just wants justice at the end of the day—truly. not power, not dictatorship, just for things to be right, safe. there's something about his maternal instincts that lets me know he would take suchhhh good care of me—he's so careful, so understanding. i'd never have to lift a finger (except when i'm being a brat) and his Suave Commercial locs make me want to wrap them around my fist and pull. he has a face card that will never decline and baby, i keep on swiping 🤧|sidenote: i need his gender pls and ty

💜Choso (JJK): my pookie-wookie puppyboi boyfriend Cho, what would i ever do without you??? idk, there's something about Chosito that sets my motherly instincts on fire 🔥 . i want to love on him, nurture him, care for him, and absolutely reduce him to tears all in the same breath. he's such a family man, so full of love and kindness and security and i adore that about him. my soft and gentle man, i feel like he's a 70-30 sub-dominate switch but gIRL do not be fooled 😩—when that man loses all sense in that cute little pig-tailed head of his, you better have an icy pack and aftercare on standby 🧍🏾‍♀️

💚Josuke (JJBA): oooohmygAWD 😩 what isn't there to say about boyfriend #2, Josuke?? the hair, the moves, the suave looks, the no-bullshit attitude. besides Dio, baby invented jojo-posing like, kneel before your Leo king?? he's so cute and creative and such a quick thinker like omg part 4 had me STRESSED, but he gets his quick wits from his no-good cheating ass pappy 🤭. josuke keeps it real, calm, cool, and collected. he's a bit too forgiving (fk Okuyasu) but that's only because he has a 💗 bigger than his hair, and when im not spending hours styling it and getting him together in the morning, im daydreaming about his love, care, and cuddles i get every night. and if i ever hurt myself, he's quick to heal my boo-boos with magical kisses🤍

💚Narancia (JJBA): my silly little goof ball pup #2, omg he's so precious and innocent and deserves soooo much more 🥺. Narancia is just...pure unadulterated love in human form. he doesn't judge, he doesn't reject, he's a bit quick to anger but it's always deserved because look at him!! how could you be mean to such a precious little thing, he wouldn't hurt a fly (unprovoked). my baby's a little slow but what he doesn't have in genius, he makes up for with his heart. and that boy can dance and dress his ass off, lets fking goooo skintight leather steel-bone corset top 🗣️

🩷Sukuna (JJK): ok listen....hear me out...balance🧍🏾‍♀️. he brings balance. everyone else is muddled and normal, soft, or innocent but Kuna resides in the extremes, is the perfect polar-opposite of Choso, and rounds out the group with good ole fashion discipline 💪🏾 (read Exercising with Sukuna if you don't believe me). he's not my favorite to deal with because the man puts the ass in asshole bUT it's good for my soul to toughen up every now and then. if you want something done and you want it done right, ask Sukuna. he'll grumble and berate you the entire time but sh*t will get done and better than you ever thought it could be. .......he also has 4 arms, 2 dicks, and a stomach mouth—good fkin bye.

🩷Saitama (OP): he makes me laugh, there's not much more to say 🤣. the most normal out of the group and the most nonchalant. Saitama is literally my best friend who never takes anything seriously just like me. our favorite hobby we do together is literally grocery shopping and i will wake my ass up every saturday morning to be by his side as he spends way too much time comparing fruits and vegetables just to get the same things he does every time. he's also the strongest and would deck everyone on this list if it came to it (argue with the manga, not me 🐸☕️)

honorable mention: Levi (AOT) because this short king 👑 cares too much and gives no f**ks at the same time and has the best resting b*tch face/face card i've ever seen 🧍🏾‍♀️

🪽current fav fic written by Angel: God is Fair|Suguru Geto since you were young, you knew you were meant for each other. he comes into your life like a storm and grows closer no matter how distant you seem. he swells and captures your heart every time he's near. so why do you keep fighting him? angel's note: full of backstory, poetry, and tear-your-heart-out angst with one of the sluttiest, smuttiest part twos in existence

🪽current fav recommendation from another author: One, Two, Three (it's not only you and me)|STSG x Reader "what suguru is trying to avoid saying is the whole cliché of 'we saw you from across the bar and we really like your vibe'," the white-haired man says, gaze flickering down your body. he looks back up, making eye contact. "but it's true, so we were wondering if you'd like to join us for some fun," he says casually, blue eyes piercing. angel's note: and it comes with an AMAZING playlist yall wtf 😩🖤

🪽current fav song to write to: Cigarettes out the Window|TV Girl

🪽fav genres: [writing: nasty, slutty, toe-curling smutty smut, thrillers, enemies to lovers, coming of age]|[reading: psychological horror/thrillers🧍🏾‍♀️, silly goofy supernatural/sci-fy like John Dies at the End (an incredible series that will have you in tears from laughter, stg), dystopian fiction, fiction satire, coming of age/young adult, the classics (surprise)]

🪽hobbies: writing, reading, skating, graphic design, being outdoors as much a possible, being at peace

beats me 🤷🏾‍♀️

nah jk.

the real reason will forever remain a mystery, but i think it has something to do with connectedness.

the first major story i wrote was handwritten in the largest binder i could find in the 4th grade and was about fairies with elemental superpowers.

my first fandom was typed out on my mom's typewriter at her job and about 40/50 pages and was about the boyband B5 (shout tf out to you if yk who they are 🗣️).

both of these instances explored hobbies/interests that i was deeply into. i wanted to share my own take on these things that occupied so much of my time with others who also couldn't escape the clutches of favorites and fandom.

i also wanted to "escape" from a life i thought was dull and bland in favor of living in a world that was bright and full of color and literally in the palm of my hands.

now i do it just because i like to torture myself 🤍

i would create an entirely new world if i could, but i'll settle for pouring my heart out on tumblr

💗first and foremost, all of my characters are 18+. i don't really care for writing aged-up minor characters but when i do, it will be mostly fluff but they will be adults at the end of the day, especially when you consider real-world timelines.

💗smut: i know what you came here for 😏. this does include some more controversial dynamics like consensual non-consent (CNC), ageplay, petplay, power exchange (top, bottom, sub, dom, "slave", etc) rough play, but these writings will always come with tag warnings because everyone likes their tea different 😊

💗fluff: ofc everyone loves a bit of fluff. tis good for the heart to remember that you have one (not me though, y'all be safe)

💗angst 😈: there's nothing i love more than stirring the fictional pot. it hurts so good

💗long ass stories that are almost always projected to be under 8k but end up breaching 10k because i have no control over my life 🤠

💗i will write characters outside of my Heavens/top fandoms but i have to be familiar with those characters/show—keep that in mind in case i reject a future request

let's be civil little angels here

🚫hardcore gore/mutilation: love to read it but cannot write it. am baby

🚫unsafe fetishes: i am kink-shaming 💩, race play, STDs (god why does this need to be said), grApe, i n c e s t, necro, actual torture, etc.,

🚫cliche/exaggerated mental disorders: like saying someone who is very tidy has "OCD" or someone with mood swings is "bipolar"; those are incorrect stereotypes AND i am not licensed to give even fictional characters those diagnoses

🚫pregnancy: gasp, ik. but listen, i have no idea what it's like to be pregnant or have kids (other than my stuffies) nor envision that for myself because it does not seem like much fun 😅 and frankly, i don't really care for it as a plot point? i'd consider it maybe for a drabble request but no major plots

🚫anything else i may be uncomfortable with down the line. i don't have a lot of hard nos but people can get weird sometimes 👀

reblogs, likes, and comments = angel kisses and i have soft, plump lips so 👉🏾👈🏾

i'll eventually open up my asks for requests but this gojo fic (teaser here) is balding me and taking up alllll of my time right now. once they do open, i may be slow to fulfill requests but that's only because i care too much about making great content 🥺. until then, you can still blow up my inbox with reviews, recommendations, thoughts, nonsensical jibber-jabber, whatever; Come chat with the Harem

[ofallthingsnasty]

Nasty when I tell you I got so giddy when you said you have a piss kink too ksjdndj

Pls the public (me) needs to know which OP hotties you think have a piss kink🎤🎤🎤

Oh my god I literally started this account because of my piss kink... and promptly baptized it with two piss fics 😂 It's too sad OP isn't giving me much to work with... But there are a few characters I get a certain vibe from...

tw (noncon) piss

Okay, first and foremost, there's Kid. Big fan of pissing inside, you can't change my mind. Just look at him, he oozes 'I like to piss after cumming, why not do it right here, right now?'. He doesn't care if you're into it or not, he's just going to relieve himself. Would try to make you swallow it while you're giving him head, just to see your reaction (will laugh if it makes you puke), but underestimates how difficult it is to urinate while he's hard. He learns from that experience, though. For him, it's a mix of laziness and amusement at how disgusted/humiliated you feel.

Doflamingo is my "everything, as long as it's fun" guy - and he'll definitely try omo with you. (And by "try" I mean "force you into it while he gets to laugh".) It's actually kind of cute, he thinks, the way you're sweating and clutching your stomach, begging him to please, please, let you go. Doesn't even blink when you piss yourself right on his lap and get his clothes dirty. Your tears and shame are just too delicious. Will bring your little "accident" up to mock you when it tickles him. It won't turn into a habit but it's good to keep things interesting, you know?

Then there is Arlong. Golden shower type of guy. Will piss on you and make you lick up the puddle. It's all about showing you how far beneath him you are, about degrading you. It's just that last little piece of depravity to him. You're already a useless slab of (human) meat, anyway, might as well fully dehumanize you and use you as a toilet. When he gets drunk enough he isn't too shy to do it in front of the crew, either. (And who knows, some might just take it as an invitation.)

Also, Sanji. The ✨romantic✨ piss guy. Wants you to let him drink it, desperately. It's all about being deeply connected to you, to take everything you can give him. Will sweet-talk you into it and he'll make it sound downright poetic when it's just him guzzling human waste. Plans everything carefully and knows how to take the edge off the whole situation - if you feel like pulling back. If you're actually into it, he'll be over the fucking moon. Drinks it so well you just know this isn't his first rodeo.

If you have a bit of a sadistic streak and like pissing on your boys, he'll gladly take that, too. It's cute when he gets all flustered as you make him beg. Would be into you making him hold it.

[themaskstayson]

You do not need to kill the Gur for Astarion to like you.

I have played so many co-op games and read so many people saying they did this and idk why it's kind of sad.

In my first playthrough, I was romancing Astarion. I left him in camp to fight the Hag. Found the Gur, talked to him, and just bounced telling him good luck. Astarion was chill about it when I told him in the camp and I forgot all about the Gur. Until act 3. Right after Cazador's fight.

For another solo play through, I had Astarion with me and told the Gur God speed with that and Astarion got pissy that we let him live. It was a -10 approval which was lame BUT it was whatever.

Spoilers below, I guess

But TLDR version

You wanna do the same thing every single time, be my guest. But I feel like you'll get more out of the game changing your playstyle to see every single aspect of Astarion and fall in love with him every single time.

Reuniting the Gur with his two vampire daughters felt good, to see the unconditional love made me think that Astarion seeing this man, the monster hunter, with his monster daughter would understand that doing the right thing might not feel good at the time but later down the road it will.

I just feel like a majority of people trying to romance him has a hard time because they see the disapproval for every single good thing you do and panic and restart the game. It's a -1, relax, just continue your play through. Astarion's mildly annoyed by your actions, that's all.

That being said, doing every single thing to gain Astarion's approval is a bit funny. Told Zevlor for the first time I got better things to do cause I have an emergency, normally I now just bounce from the conversation so I can quickly leave act 1, and Astarion basically said I was unhinged and fun. Astarion pls we have a tadpole in our brain. And jokes on you, we're still gonna maybe help them lol

Romancing Astarion is NOT hard and I do not get it at all. I didn't change how I play, I was a good man and yet I see so many post that people are struggling.

Anyways thanks for reading my rant, I needed to get it off my chest