#anyways my goats on the podium

[charlesvteen]

the parents:

the child:

[ironinkpen]

Simone Biles (USA), Rebeca Andrade (Brazil), and Suni Lee (USA), the Artistic Gymnastics Women's All-Around Gold, Silver, and Bronze Medalists at the Paris Olympic Games 2024

[adore-gregor]

Yeah whatever but you're still my goat 🐐 either way Gregor 😌

[no-144444]

listening ears on- z.guanyu

Day 16 of fic-tober! fic-tober masterlist

summary: How come when you try to set Zhou up, it ends badly?

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zhouguanyu

liked by oscarpiastri, vallterri bottas, pierregasly and 568,920 others

zhouguanyu: thank you melbourne, yet another fucking p18 👍 (was nice to see the piastri family though, and to see osco up on that podium :)

comments

landonorris: jesus dude don't jump

oscarpiastri: i love u zhou :)

nicolepiastri: ❤️❤️❤️

nicohulkenburg: better than me, p19 :(

user45: we need a psych ward.

user33: AUDI DOMINANCE NEXT YEAR TRUST ME (i'm delusional)

user82: ZHOU NO I LOVE YOU

y/nbottASS: no you're too sexy haha plz don't die ->user22: HUH? ->user32: ARIANA WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE?

user29: we're so cooked -> y/nbottASS: HAVE SOME FAITH IN MY BOYS -> lewishamilton: ??? I was p2??? -> y/nbottASS: GOD, NOT EVERYTHING IS ABOUT U GIRL (YAY LEWIS P2 congrats)

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y/nbottASS

liked by jackdoohan, arthurleclerc, pierregasly and 987,263 others

y/nbottASS YOUR HONOUR THEY WERE BEING SILLY

comments

user46: NURSE SHE'S OUT AGAIN

arthurleclerc: I open this app and sigh

user77: shitting myself why does arthur look so confused

oscarpiastri: princess jack making an appearance i see. -> y/nbottASS: fuck off you got a home win and i cried. that's what you fucking get. -> landonorris: i don't think you needed to clock him so hard? -> y/nbottASS: go fuck yourself. you and your boyfriend can cry together -> oscarpiastri: oh! we're being so normal I see! 😁

user66: 'my honest erection'? -> y/nbottASS: correct.

user88: every time she posts I just know the drivers shiver in fear liked by valtterribottas, pierregasly, yukistunonda, lancestroll, alexalbon, olliebearman, liamlawson, kimiantonelli, jackdoohan, georgerussell, lewishamilton, charlesleclerc, maxverstappen, danielriccardo, checoperez, nicohulkenberg, arthurleclerc, fernandoalonso, carlosainz, estebanocon, oscarpiastri, landonorris ->user56: NOT ALL THE DRIVERS IN THE LIKES -> user99: NUH UH, ZHOU ISNT!!!!!!!! -> user45: zhouy/n truthers rise.

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y/nbottASS

liked by pierregasly, zhouguanyu, landonorris and 1,383,938 others

y/nbottASS: MY GOAT ZHOU IN THE POINTS?????? HOME RACE KING!!! (also jack and @/friend1 are sickeningly in love)

comments

jackdoohan: thanks for being our matchmaker :) -> y/nbottASS: don't mention it jackie boy (I'll kill you if you hurt her)

zhouguanyu: THANKS Y/N

oscarpiastri: MY GOAT GUANYU

alexalbon: SUCH A GOAT

lewishamilton: MY GOAT

jackdoohan: pookie in points 🥺

landonorris: ICON I LOVE HIM HE'S SUCH A LITTLE DUDE

valtteribottas: missing me much? @/zhouguanyu -> zhouguanyu: so much...😿

user44: JACK AND WHO? -> user55: that's one of y/n's friends! she's a model and y/n set them up! -> y/nbottASS: they're so cute aren't they!!!!

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arthurleclerc

liked by y/nbottASS, pierregasly, charlesleclerc and others

arthurleclerc: happy 6 months to my beautiful girl. @/sabrinacarpenter

comments

user54: 'thank you y/n' we all say in unison.

user77: THEY'RE ADORABLE YOUR HONOUR

user88: SINCE FUCKING WHEN??? -> user27: y/n introduced them. -> user88: OHHHHHH i get it now

y/nbottASS: my otp

sabrinacarpenter: omg we're so hot -> arthurleclerc: facts

user29: who has y/n set up? like everyone on the grid right? -> user99: y/n has set up most of the couple son the grid including : akex and lily, sabrina and arthur (ik he's not on the grid but yk), jakc and @/friend1, charles and alexandria, fernando and melissa, george and carmen, kika and pierre, lando luisinha (when they were together), max and pietra (ik they're not on the grid either, anyway), valtteri and tiffany, and somehow looks like she does and is single?????? -> user66: she's been BUSY

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y/nbottASS

liked by zhouguanyu, pierregasly, yukistunoda and 876,926 others

y/nbottASS over and out silverstone! (i've been so busy matchmaking that i haven't posted myself!)

comments

user87: OMG she is everything

user63: she's so GORGEOUS

zhouguanyu: karting was such a mess 😹 -> landonorris: you two went karting without me? wtf. -> y/nbottASS: yes? mf you're not invited. -> landonorris: oh. -> y/nbottASS: mf you cheat. -> oscarpiastri: FINALLY SOMEONE AGREES.

pierregasly: looking close... ->user23: SPILL RIGHT NOW -> user45: PIERRE KNOWS SOMETHING WE DONT?

lewishamilton: working hard or hardly working? -> y/nbottASS: secret third option: inside your walls! -> roscoelovescoco: oh...!

user88: they're so adorable.

user77: why am I becoming a zhouy/n shipper...? -> user32: bc they're so CUTE together.

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zhouguanyu

liked by pierregasly, charles leclerc, carmenmundt and 3,897,474 others

zhouguanyu happy y/n day! I LOVE YOU

comments

y/nbottASS: HARD. LAUNCH.

limited comment section.

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navigation for my blog :) (masterlist)

fic-tober masterlist

taglist: @anotherapollokid @theseerbetweenus @simbaaas-stuff @5sospenguinqueen @yootvi

[surshica]

PRINCESS TREATMENT

: CL16

genre: stupid fluff, social media (smau)

warnings: translated french

A/N: let’s ignore everything that happened in this gp! this is my first EVER f1 fic so ernmmm bare with me! i’ve had this like whole thing in my head for a while but i was just too lazy LMAO ANYWAYS i’m also deprived of some fics..ENJOY ?!!

synopsis: soft launching a relationship with charles — charles leclerc x streamer fem!reader (fc: tina kitten)

yourusername

liked by lilymhe, alex_albon, georgerussell63, charles_leclerc and 793,610 others

yourusername when he gets the princess treatment instead of me..

user1 my streamer is in a relationship..🫠

user2 this means we can’t be parasocial no more…I HOPE THIS “MAN” CAN FIGHT.

alex_albon okay tell him to stop being clingy so you can play goat simulator with us

yourusername he said, “they suck at the game so they can wait, i like the princess treatment” soo…

user4 as much as i want to theorize and say it’s an F1 driver it’s unlikely…she’s just a twitch streamer.

user8 “just a twitch streamer” my ass..as if she isn’t the biggest streamer and influencer

user4 i mean itd be a downgrade for a professional to date a non professional athlete or like model or idol🤷‍♀️

charles_leclerc okay little buddy it’s past your bedtime

charles_leclerc aww so cute (HOP ONTO GOAT SIMULATOR LANDO IS BEING ANNOYINGGG)

landonorris okay buddy..don’t make me use THE blackmail.

charles_leclerc

liked by yourusername, carlossainz55, tomholland and 2,072,473 others

charles_leclerc my jpg era? nahh

user3 okay so are we going to talk about who took these photos cause i know damn well you didn’t take them..

yourusername whoever styled you should get a raise

charles_leclerc i’ll tell her that, it’ll inflate her ego some more

yourusername she doesn’t deserve you 😐

user5 HOLD ON. HER?? IS HE IN A RELATIONSHIP AS WELL.

user6 this is kinda suspicious..what if.

user2 WHAT IF????

user6 what if yn and charles are 🤞

carlossainz55 charlie finally got a sense of style !!

pierregasly groundbreaking ‼️

user9 okay but why does he actually look good in this outfit..

user10 f1 twt going crazy over this fit

liked by yourusername

yourusername

liked by charles_leclerc, landonorris, georgerussell63 and 628,927 others

yourusername stream today!! we’ll be playing among us vr with *drumroll* landonorris and georgerussell63, be sure to tune into it today

user1 WITH THOSE TWO??? it sounds chaotic..

user10 HMMM….

charles_leclerc where is my invite ☹️

yourusername you said no because chat would laugh at you..

charles_leclerc this makes it seem like those two are your favorites…

yourusername they are.

charles_leclerc hand back the paddock passes<3

yourusername IM JOKING HAHA YOURE MY FAVORITE!!

liked by charles_leclerc

user5 bye they’re literally flirting.

liked by charles_leclerc and yourusername

user6 THE HEART AFTER PADDOCK..am i seeing this correctly

user2 what if you actually predicted it…

alex_albon i can already hear lando screaming..

landonorris slanderous.

charles_leclerc

liked by yourusername, pierregasly, landonorris, lewishamiliton, alex_albon and 1,729,168 others

charles_leclerc désolé mon amour le secret est sorti..😅❤️

user6 YEAH I KNEW IT. everyone who made bets pay up! i do apple pay venmo zelle paypal

user1 bye you’re so unserious 😭

user3 aye they tryna make bank i don’t blame them

user2 it’s like they’re a mastermind..IS CHARLES GOING TO WIN THE NEXT GP?!?

user6 yes. he is going to podium and be at least 2 or 3

yourusername you couldn’t wait just a little longer..not till your next gp? ;;

charles_leclerc my fingers slipped!!

yourusername fat fingers!

charles_leclerc that’s not very nice chéri:(

yourusername yeah no more princess treatment for you.

charles_leclerc HEY NOW…THATS NOT FUNNY.

landonorris are mom and dad fighting..☹️

charles_leclerc i hope you never get imposter when you play amongus again

landonorris HEY MAN TOO FAR.

user11 “mon amour” BYE. I DONT EVEN WANNA KNOW HOW LONG THEYVE BEEN TOGETHER.

user10 the pictures..THE PICTURES. sleeping on a highway tonight 🤞

user4 interesting choice in a s/o…

user7 the floating lantern picture…I JUST WANNA KNOW WHO WAS THE ONE THIRD WHEELING THAT THING.

yourbestie that person would be me 😍

yourbestie took y’all forever, im surpised charlie brown over here didn’t spill the beans earlier

charles_leclerc who are you calling charlie brown? 😒

yourbestie you.

@ surshica | rb & follow.

[moonshynecybin]

Marc not being with Vale in Austin is fine because Vale crashed anyway and it's been a week since Argentina and Vale is still processing what Marc said (and it's not like they picked each other 100% of the time when things were fineTM, so, anyway)

Marc not picking Vale in Sachsenring, though? After the moment they had in Barcelona? Definitely feels wrong and Vale burns with jealousy (which was Marc's plan all along) (Vale goes out that night and picks up someone and it's the least satisfying one night stand he's had in forever) (and he's fully the one to blame for it)

I think it also shows Vale that Marc is not as desperate as he might have thought (and let's face it, there was obviously something satisfying thinking he had the upper hand there) and it fucks him up a little too

context on this post!! go read it...

see in my brain im thinking marc is enough of an all-or-nothing dichotomous little guy that he DOES choose vale every time he can... idk how that would work out with the rules of podiums but i have been tortured by enough gifsets (wait a minute you made some of those. find them here friends) of his 21 year old self wallpapering his room with valentino merch (and his own merch like he WAS doodling mr marc marquez rossi <3 in all of his notebooks rip king) that i think the first time he chooses anybody else is post ARGENTINAAAAAA 2018. down horrendous. down catastrophic. down so bad we might have to send him to the medical center so they can declare him medically fit to ride anyways. and thats not as fun for jealousy stuff anyways bc by then vale has realllllllly entrenched some narratives in his brain and would simply repress that <3

so!!! this au hath been set in the 2016 season where marc is half agony half hope.... one word from you would silence me forever.... so marc is um. winning a lot, and choosing valentino every time like. please talk to me. and as youve said initially its like i have nothing to say to you!! you betrayed me!! and then as it goes on a gradual thawing and they are having like. intense tender fraught winners room sex the ENTIRE time like insane people. marc fully lowkey like once he unblocks me the wedding is back on... and then as youve said in catalunya vale picks marc and blows his back out and theyre both soooo kind of. tired. of pretending that they dont like this so i think there IS a moment where marc tells a dumb joke and vale laughs (SEX LAUGHERS TILL I DIE) and then his eyes get all soft and marc leans in and its a very sweet kiss and a very sweet moment and they both think. maybe..... marc's breath caught in his chest vale's thumb on his cheek....

but this is rosquez the GOATs of motorsport divorce (no one tell me the brocedes lore shhh) so i think vale makes an offhanded comment in front of marc about picking up or something. maybe talks to uccio and blocks marc's number after he tries to call him afterwards... SOMETHING happens that pisses marc off idk what. and the next time he wins in germany hes like fine. okay. i wont choose valentino he clearly doesnt want me to. so he chooses dovi and they dont fuck but they do let everyone THINK they fucked (dovi is lowkey sad about this. cal crutchlow known marc fucker and p2 this race is despondent that he didnt get chosen.) and vale feels LITERALLY INSANE... sitting at home thinking about marc with dovi... cant get it out of his head....

[thearchercore]

i actually manifested charles p2 in australia last week (in my defense it was to a max p1 realistically, not carlos) anyway i am never again manifesting charles p2 ever again - always p1 sorry to my goat who is not here to be second 🤙😤

and yes i think we deserve a lestappen 1-2 with oscar podium in suzuka 😗

yes, only p1's for charles now! let that man beat max, he's been yapping about it for way too long

[svcredveins]

My goat Matt Campbell post qualifying MAKING IT ON POLE POSITION!!!

A solid 1:23.2 from today’s qualifying. Hyperpole was after and he made a solid P3! The Toyotas were fast out of nowhere, and this poor bloke had an under steering issue with the car and went off track, but regardless of that mistake, he did an absolutely phenomenal of a job getting the car on pole for qualifying and made a mega effort for hyperpole!

Anyway. As a cardiophile it’s just hard to not think about a driver’s heart rate and how their breathing is! Ah, the adrenaline. I know it’s for sure super intense on the Nurburgring Nordschleife, but like in an LMDh going around 300kmh? Sheeeesh! My goat was cooking though today! Hyped for tomorrow! Matt has got this one. My little heart will be so happy seeing him winning. Let his winning and podium streak continue! GO MATTY!! Big boy MC! 💪🏼🫀

Also on an underrated note, it’s also fascinating watching someone’s chest rise and fall though, especially when doing exercises, like in this case, working out a car. The body at work, the car at work! Love it when the drivers keep track of their heart rates, but yeah, you definitely have to considering it is an intense sport haha. I love it!

Different post entirely haha, but I’ll have my files up soon, just haven’t been happy with my stemoscope lately with it crackling, staticing, and just being noisy lately lol. Think I’ll be doing another one with my phone as a refresher since the stemo is struggling apparently lol

I’ll one day invest in a stemoscope II. I know that’s even pricier than my current one and since I don’t live alone, it would be mega awkward to have it arrive at the doorstep or in the mailbox and then yeah lol. Starting to get a bit annoyed with my stemoscope’s delay too lol

[ashnsweet]

OMD WHY ON EARTH DO PPL KEEP REDUCING LEWIS LEAVING MERC TO NOTHING

ITS NOT JUST "SWITCHING TEAMS"

someone on twitter basically said oh why cant max do donuts cuz hes not on the podium when a guy who isnt on the podium can cuz hes just switching teams

tbh i wouldnt have seen it cuz i try to keep off twitter

but someone on tumblr posted it agreeing and i was like???

dafuq?

everyone wondering why its a huge deal as if we weren't all so shocked feb 1st

i do think other drivers like kmag and valtteri shouldve gotten a chance to do donuts and then lewis last

and im not saying max shouldnt have gotten to do donuts AT ALL

maybe at vegas? maybe earlier at AD

but that doesn't mean lewis didn't deserve his moment to celebrate all he's achieved w merc

12 yrs and the most successful driver and team partnership in history

gee i wonder why its a huge deal

i dont even think im biased cuz i AM a lewis and max fan

my goats frfr

but i keep seeing ppl act like its not that deep when it is

if it wasn't he wouldnt have gotten the opportunity to celebrate anyway

idk if u agree or disagree but its rly been upsetting me so i had to rant

honestly attached to u cuz i saw it got mad and instantly came here like my own little diary

-🌝

I'd personally attack teeth baring and all if my feed got any "lewis shouldn't have done donuts" shi🤗

please don't stop sharing your diary entries cause I'm afraid we agree on everything

[racingliners]

F1 Re-Watch 2013: Round 18 - USA

Yeehaw! (sorry, couldn't help myself). What can I say the 2024 testing hype is getting to me and I really want to finally finish my 2013 watch through before the first race of the season, so we're on Austin!

Again, very few memories of this race bar Seb's first and only win at COTA and the very iconic "We have to remember these days..." team radio 🥹

So let's get into it!

As far as I can remember, they just had regular Pirelli podium caps instead of the cowboy ones but I could be wrong.

Honestly I don't mind COTA as a track that much. It's not one of the greats but it is decent.

What the fuck is Hulkenberg doing in 4th??????

Starting the grid order whiplash early I see

Speaking of, let's get into it: Seb pole and Webber P2, normal for 2013; Grosjean P3; Hulkenberg P4 (WILD); Lewis P5; Val P9 (hell yeah); Jev P14 and Jenson P15 :(

OH we also have Heikki Kovalinen filling in for Kimi as he missed the last two races of 2013, he lines up P8.

Mediums and Hards are the tyre compounds for this race.

[Formation Lap]: It is also Quite Warm™️. To the point where it may become a 2-stop race due to thermal degradation.

"Mercedes don't care if they're 19th and 20th so long as Ferrari are 21st and 22nd" um... I care

[Start/Lap 1]: Grosjean takes P2 at turn 1!!!!

and Lewis takes P3!!!!!

and we already have yellow flags

aaaaand they're gone

shit Sutil's in the wall (he's fine)

aaaaaaand Safety Car

well that was certainly a first lap.

Sutil's girlfriend facepalming is a mood

[Lap 2]: Bernd Maylander sighting!!! Our forever Driver of The Day.

[Lap 3]: as it's a SC there's really nothing much going on apart from shots of people in garages

and the replay of Webber's start was actually fine, it was just where he'd positioned the car that led to him losing places

[Lap 4]: Hi Ted!!!!

woo SC in this lap

let's go zoom zoom!

Seb's had a great SC restart, I miss it when they didn't stress me out

[Lap 5]: "We think Jenson might have a bit of front wing damage" fUCK

racing gods stop being mean to my boy

[Lap 6]: Seb leads by 1.9 seconds like the GOAT he is

Alonso is down in P7 I have zero idea how that happened.

and once again I'm quite compelled by just watching the cars go round even though there's nothing much happening sdvhvhd

[Lap 7]: Webber is catching up to the back of Lewis 👀

[Lap 8]: Not Maldonado having a wobbly front wing (possibly from the contact with Sutil)

[Lap 9]: again nothing much happening but cars going around the track are fun to just watch 😅

[Lap 10]: Though Webber's dropped back from Lewis a tiny bit

Jenson is in the dizzying heights of... P14 🥲

Hulkenberg is also the conductor of a little DRS train in P5

[Lap 12]: a shot of the McLaren pit wall since there's so little racing happening

[Lap 13]: Lewis getting a little snarky with Bono instantly being followed with a shot of the Merc pit wall dbhdfjbshfdj

and Webber gets past Lewis!!

The TV feed literally cut to it as it was happening so I got a bit of a fright

It was a saucy move though, round the outside of turn 16

[Lap 15]: Once again asking where I can get myself an emotional support Bono

also also HOW is Rosberg down in P11 but Hulkenberg is in P5. Nico be serious for a minute please.

and by be serious, I mean get your pretty little head further up the field and be the superior Nico

...Not Hulkenberg being faster than Lewis too 😭

once again asking Mercedes to get their shit together

JENSON SIGHTING!!!!!

[Lap 16]: He's chasing down Massa for 13th

the TV feed following Jenson and immediately getting a Seb fastest lap, the racing gods are Sebson truthers

[Lap 17]: Seb onboard!!!!! He exists!!!!

he also has a 6.3 second gap over Grosjean

"I've got no grip man" every race we get closer to the maiden 'Bono my tyres are gone'

[Lap 19]: Anyway I haven't done a top 5 overview yet, it's: Seb, Grosjean, Webber, Lewis and Hulkenberg

Speaking of Nico v Nico, Rosberg takes P10 from Ricciardo

It was a good move too! Started in the braking zone of turn 16 and ended around turn 18, probably the longest bit of racing we've had so far

[Lap 21]: And Jenson makes his first and possibly only stop

he comes out in P16 😭

[Lap 24]: Bottas pits from P8 and comes out in P10

[Lap 26]: I think Lewis got the message after the third box Bono, but I appreciate the dedication to the bit (Lewis has made his one and likely only stop, like many mediums off for hards)

[Lap 28]: Seb finally makes his first stop! And also for the hard tyres

Lewis jumped Hulkenberg at his stop!!!!!! God!! Bless!!!!

also also 🚨WE ARE FINALLY AT HALF DISTANCE🚨

and honestly thank goodness, this race has not been it thus far

[Lap 29]: Webber also makes his first stop

and oof 2.3 second stop.

I wish I could say that Fernando made a great move on Gutierrez but the on board camera was at a funky angle so I didn't actually see it

[Lap 30]: Grosjean has pitted and comes out between the two Red Bulls

aaaaaand a Seb fastest lap 👌

oof Lewis is not happy this race 😩

[Lap 31]: Perez passes Gutierrez on the main straight

[Lap 32]: Nico Rosberg finally gets himself into P11

and lol at the fact you can barely hear Ross Brawn on the TV feed.

the V8 engines said "I've had enough of this guy"

[Lap 33]: Top 5 overview since it's been a while: Seb, Grosjean, Webber, Lewis and Hulkenberg

Webber is only within a couple of seconds of Grosjean though

And Jenson is still in P14 🥲

Rosberg takes P10 from Di Resta down the inside of turn 16!!!

Another very fun move 👌

[Lap 34]: And Valtteri briefly took P8 from Gutierrez

for a 2013 Williams that's basically winning a grand prix

[Lap 35]: I can't believe I'd forgotten about the rotating cameras on the front wings 😵‍💫

BUT Valtteri re-takes P8 - through the esses section!!!!

another peach of a move 👏

[Lap 37]: Webber's been dropping back from Grosjean by half a second...

Comms don't think he has a problem but biiiig oofs

"Rosberg's starting to catch Bottas" oh the 'Nico's sudden retirement causing Valtteri to take his seat' of it all

[Lap 38]: Webber just did the fastest lap, he's fine

meanwhile Jenson's in P13!!!! progress!!!!

Being a Jenson fan in 2013 was rough, let me tell you

[Lap 39]: *crosses off 'Andrea Stella talking to Fernando in Italian' off my bingo card*

huh, Massa made a second stop for mediums

inch resting

nvm IT PUTS JENSON IN 12TH!!!!!!

[Lap 40]: Seb sighting!!!!

[Lap 41]: livery watch: oh the navy and gold Toro Rosso livery how I miss you...

[Lap 42]: Rocky once again telling Seb to slow down dfvhdfvhd

unstoppable force vs immovable object

Rocky and Bono are the founders of the Exhausted Race Engineers Club

[Lap 44]: and we now find ourself in the very strange universe where Alonso (in a Ferrari) can't get past Hulkenberg (in a Sauber)

You'd think it would be an immediate pass, but no

[Lap 45]: and Fernando finally gets the move done on the exit of turn one

Lewis is the next car ahead...

potential stress inducing battle aside, another Seb sighting!!!

He is unbothered, moisturised, flourishing

[Lap 46]: Jenson closing up to the back of Di Resta

[Lap 47]: damn Fernando is already within DRS range of Lewis

the old man is old manning again

[Lap 48]: Speaking of old men, Webber's back in DRS range of Grosjean

[Lap 50]: Still catching but not quite close enough

Lewis is back to 2 seconds ahead of Fernando

and most importantly on midfield watch, Valtteri is still in P8

Jenson's into P11!!!!!!!! WE MAY STILL GET POINTS!!!!!!

oh a Simon Rennie sighting for the girlies (gn)

[Lap 52]: 🚨5 laps remaining!!!!🚨

honestly the second half of the race was much better than the first, curse you one stop races

Jenson is 2.4 seconds from P10, I'm not sure if he's going to make it

[Lap 53]: you know that "I wanna see my little boy" vine? That's me every time the TV feed cuts to Seb

[Lap 54]: Jenson is now 6 tenths behind P10

come onnnnnn JB

[Lap 55]: We literally have 2 laps left

can't type. too invested in watching the Jenson v Ricciardo battle.

HE TAKES P10 ON THE EXIT OF TURN 1!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

that's my guy that's my bestie

[Lap 56]: Last lap!

looks like everyone else is going to hold position

[Finish]: AND SEB WINS IN COTA!!!!!!!!!

His 8th win on the bounce, which at the time made him the first driver to do that in one season. MY GOAT!!!

rest of the Top 10: Grosjean, Webber, Lewis, Alonso, Hulkenberg, Perez, Bottas, Rosberg and Jenson

well, that kind of felt like a race of two halves, which I'm very much pinning on the one stop strategy the bulk of the cars ran. But WHEW once the drivers didn't have to conserve their tyres the racing was great! Loads of battles up and down the field which was so fun to watch.

Next race, and the last one of 2013 - Brazil!

[queennicoleinboots]

King Bruce Ice Has Spoken

(sequel to Mourning Again)

King Bruce Ice growled loudly. He looked at me, pointed, and said, "You! I appoint you as my senior advisor!" King Bruce Ice was a boat mechanic who also led the Secret Royal Society of Sexually-Frustrated Goats, Secret Royal Society of Sexually-Frustrated Bears, and the Virgin Islands Chapter of The Sexually-Frustrated Mechanics. He and his family recently moved to the Virgin Islands to get away from the bullshit of the mainland.

"WHAT?! I have more experience in advising and organizing chapter meetings than Nicole does! What is the meaning of this?!" Queen Megara Ice shouted with a growl.

"I don't REQUIRE experience! I require OBEDIENCE! I have spoken!!!!" King Bruce Ice shouted before he growled.

Duke the Ace of Dodging and Riley the Ace of Riddling barked repeatedly.

King Bruce Ice stared at his dogs for a few seconds before he shouted, "SILENCE! Go lay down."

Duke the Ace of Dodging and Riley the Ace of Riddling laid down and looked at King Bruce Ace. Riley the Ace of Riddling barked one more time at King Bruce Ice.

"RILEY! DO NOT TRIFLE WITH ME!" King Bruce Ice shouted as he beat the podium with the gavel. The shouting and sound could be heard from a planet away.

Riley the Ace of Riddling stared at King Bruce Ice and whimpered out of fright.

"Riley! Shut up, Riley!" King Bruce Ice shouted. He beat the podium with the gavel and damn near broke the podium.

The rest of us at the meeting laughed. Queen Megara Ice snickered.

Riley the Ace of Riddling folded his front paws over his arms and looked up at King Bruce Ice intently.

"Thank you," King Bruce Ice said to Riley the Ace of Riddling.

"You are welcome," Riley the Ace of Riddling said in a deep voice.

King Bruce Ice's widened. Riley the Ace of Riddling had not spoken English in a while, so when it happened, the big brown bear was shocked. "Hot Damn. Anyway, we have gathered here today for Angelina, Captain Joebearcow's older sister's funeral. She passed away a few weeks ago, and we are here to honor her life and times."

Captain Joebearcow let out tears, and I held him in my arms. Queen Megara Ice stared at King Bruce Ice solemnly. Two elder bears had their heads bowed. One was gray and tall, and the other was golden and short.

"Angelina was a great pirate on the high seas and had traveled many galaxies. She was a Nebula and a Gamora," King Bruce Ice said. "She was an artist, singer, and a scientist!"

"She also wrote a paper about the molecular structure of cotton and its many uses. It resulted in us having cotton toilet paper on the Green Planet," Captain Joebearcow added as he stepped up to the podium next to King Bruce Ice.

"She was an inventor of great renown who followed in the footsteps of her grandfather, Carmichael Campinelli, the inventor of color TV, neon signs, the primitive model of the GPS, and Green chili pasta sauce!" King Bruce Ice shouted as his voice boomed in the meeting hall.

"Actually, my grandmother, Rosa Caccicarro, invented the Green chili pasta sauce. But you are correct about everything else regarding Carmichael Campinelli. He was the Rocket Raccoon before he became Rocket Raccoon," Captain Joebearcow said.

"Holy Shit! Your grandfather was a RACCOON?!" Dereck, a normally quiet taupe bear shouted in disbelief.

"Yes," Captain Joebearcow said as he stared directly at Dereck.

"Then how did you... become a black bear?" Sorcerer Banana asked as he scratched his head. He was still mostly an outline because he was transparent. He shows up to these meetings less frequently than he used to.

"My grandmother was a black bear," Captain Joebearcow answered as he stared at Sorcerer Banana's outline.

"So the dominant gene was the bear gene?" Sorcerer Banana asked to clarify.

"YES! YES! Everyone who took Biology 101 knows about dominant and recessive genes. Brown bears are the most dominant while black bears are the second most dominant. And fuck the rest of it!" King Bruce Ice shouted. "Can we get on with this funeral please?!"

There was a knock at the door. Duke the Ace of Dodging and Riley the Ace of Riddling barked.

"I guess not! What is it?! I am conducting important business right now!" King Bruce Ice shouted as he ran to the toilet near the back of the stage and pooped with a sigh of relief.

"I'm sorry, Uncle King Bruce Ice, but I have a question that needs to be answered immediately," Isabella Ice, one of King Bruce Ice's nieces, said as she opened the door. She looked to be a teen bear between the ages of 18-19.

"Oh shit not this again! What is it this time?! I'm in the middle of conducting a funeral service!" King Bruce Ice shouted over his loud pooping.

"When is the next chance you will be able to lead the Virgin Island Society of Young Cubs?" Isabella Ice asked.

"Are you serious?! I am nowhere near my calendar! And can't that wait until after I finish the funeral service!? Come on, Isabella. This is disrespectful!" King Bruce Ice shouted as he was still doing business on the toilet.

The other bears growled in agreement. King Joebearcow's growl was the loudest.

"I don't mean to intrude on your business, but Martha Mae Bear needs to have an emergency meeting as soon as possible! I can't handle a meeting of this caliber, Uncle King Bruce Ice! Literally every bear on the Virgin Islands has to attend this meeting, even the gray bears!" Isabella Ice shouted.

The tall elder gray bear growled at Isabella Ice and bared his teeth. He wore glasses over his light blue eyes. His left eye was lazy.

Martha Mae Bear, the elderly gray bear standing next to Isabella Ice, nodded to the taller elderly gray bear with a smirk and 'What can you do?' shrug.

"Holy Shit! All of the gray bears?! This shit is serious!" King Bruce Ice shouted as he farted and flushed the toilet. He then walked over to his calendar. "Excuse me, King Joebearcow. I am trying to take care of her so that we can get back to business."

"I can understand that," King Joebearcow said as he stood there.

King Bruce Ice was marking stuff down on his calendar like crazy, poking his head with the pen, let out a growl, and stared at said calendar. "Friday, March 3!"

"Are you serious? That's when the Virgin Islands Senior Youth Bears are starting Spring Break! What about Thursday, March 2nd...??" Isabella Ice asked frantically.

"I have a doctor's appointment then. Can we try Monday, February 27?" Martha Mae Bear asked.

"I HAVE MY GYNECOLOGY APPOINTMENT THEN! SORRY!" Isabella Ice shouted.

King Bruce Ice sighed. "You're going to interrupt a funeral service to have an emergency meeting about God Knows What, but you can't postpone Spring Break or doctor's appointments. That makes a lot of sense," he muttered as he marked on his calendar again. He then walked the door to the meeting hall and growled loudly. The whole neighborhood could hear him. "MONDAY, The 6th of MARCH!"

Isabella Ice smiled and nodded at her uncle as her ear drums were probably ringing by then. "Thank you. You have spoken, Your Grace," she said.

"What time?" Martha Mae Bear asked.

"8:30 A.M!!!!" King Bruce Ice shouted loudly.

"Holy Shit! Blow our ears off why don't you? We're going to be deaf by the time Monday rolls around!" Queen Megara Ice shouted at her husband.

"YOU CAN PUT YOUR EARS TO GOOD USE BY LISTENING TO ME!" King Bruce Ice called to her as he slammed the door of the meeting hall. He growled loudly and beat on his chest like a bear. He then walked back up to the podium and stared straight at the wall in front of him. He managed to burn a hole in it.

Duke the Ace of Dodging and Riley the Ace of Riddling sat on the floor quietly and stared at him. They were afraid to speak.

King Bruce Ice shuddered. "Just another thing. The world's coming to end. Angelina passed away. My niece's now graduating young senior bear school! And now there's another meeting about shit I have no idea about," he spoke. "The world is on my bear shoulders."

"That's a lot of pressure, Your Grace," I said.

"Absolutely. This world is not easy to live in, especially if you are a male brown bear. We have entirely too many responsibilities. Every morning when I wake up, I have to make an important decision of whether or not the forests catch on fire. I have to ensure my family has enough food to hibernate for the winter. I have to ensure that bears have their needs met or they dismantle camping grounds. IT'S JUST TOO MUCH!"

"I am honored to be your senior advisor," I said.

"Thank you," King Bruce Ice said as he stared at the wall with softer eyes. "There are days I don't come in this meeting hall and when I hibernate from everyone but my four daughters. But they are wonderful cubs. I gave taught them to fend for themselves in the wild. I couldn't be more proud of them."

I shed a tear at his pride for his cubs. Duke the Ace of Dodging and Riley the Ace of Riddling shed tears and howled in his honor.

King Bruce Ice growled with pleasure.

A phone call came in on my phone, and it was a ringtone of an executive bear growl. Isabella Ice and Martha Mae Bear jumped at the ringtone. The other bears sighed.

"ANSWER THAT PHONE!" King Bruce Ice shouted.

I answered the phone, "Hey Chrissy, Queen Drama Llama Mama of 47 hungry pups of 477 titles. It has been a while!"

King Bruce Ice then growled a growl to remember. I was bleating loudly. I was honored to be in the presence of great wonderful bears and Chrissy, Queen Wolf Bitch Mama of 47 hungry pups and 477 titles.

Chrissy, Queen Wolf Bitch Mama of 47 hungry pups and 477 titles spoke, "Well, thank you for that splendid greeting. I want to know what positions everyone has. There have been many changes to our group since we last got together. 2022 has had several upheavals in general and in our group. I need to know the changes to the group. I'm sorry I was not able to attend Angelina's funeral, may God Bless her soul. I'm currently tied up at the moment. Ha ha ha!"

"Hahaha. King Joebearcow is King Bear; King Bruce Ice is the Chancellor; I am Queen Goat and senior advisor; Queen Megara Ice is the treasurer and accountant; and of course thou art the secretary," I said with an excited bleat.

"She is the true group organizer!" King Bruce Ice shouted with a growl.

King Joebearcow growled in excitement.

Chrissy, Wolf Bitch Mama of 47 hungry pups and 477 titles responded, "And what position is the glorious Peter W. Parker?"

I cleared my throat. "That's a good question. He was the mascot, but he hasn't come to a meeting in months," I said.

"Oh that is quite the shame! When did you last speak to him?" Chrissy, Wolf Bitch Mama of 47 hungry pups and 477 titles asked.

"Like... almost a year ago. Things have been very insane lately," I said.

"Indeed they have. I'm not sure when this drama will calm down," Chrissy, Drama Llama Wolf Bitch Mama of 47 hungry pups and 477 titles said with worry in her voice.

"Ohayo has had two chemical spills and a power plant explosion this month," Pauno, The Greek God of food, wine, partying, technology, fertility, and wisdom added. "Not that I am trying to minimize the importance of Angelina's death. It's all crazy."

"Yes! It affects us deeply on the Virgin Islands. When I finish this funeral, we'll discuss evacuation and refugee plans immediately," King Bruce Ice said before he took his cell phone out of his pocket and dialed SOMEONE. He then sang a bear song that summoned Peter and Chrissy, Drama Llama Wolf Bitch Mama of 47 hungry pups and 477 titles to the meeting hall.

---------------------------------------------------------

The meeting hall then turned into a room that was like Bobby's World, but instead of Bobby being on the tricycle, it was King Bruce Ice. He was floating around. I knew King Bruce Ice was different from other bears, but I was baffled on how we ended up here.

King Joebearcow, Peter, and I floated around. King Joebearcow was freaking out and pawing at the air. Duke the Ace of Dodging and Riley the Ace of Riddling were barking and floating.

"How the fuck did I get here?" Peter asked.

"I have no idea," King Joebearcow said as he stared at Peter.

King Bruce Ice appeared on a television screen that existed on the meeting hall wall. "HELLO!" he shouted.

I tried not to crack up completely as I waved to him.

"What am I doing here?" Peter asked as he scratched the curls on top of his head.

"Peter Parker, can you sing a song of cheer for us?!" King Bruce Ice asked.

"Um. Yeah. I can sing a song of cheer. I've been practicing in my spare time" Peter said with a grin.

"Good! We need you to sing that song to lift our spirits!" King Bruce Ice shouted.

"Okay. What am I supposed to sing about?" Peter asked.

"Perseverance and the honor that Angelina gave to us when she was alive! We must sing of her adventures as a pirate of the high seas!" King Bruce Ice shouted.

Peter blinked. "What?!"

"Angelina, my sister passed away a few weeks ago," Joebear clarified.

"I'm sorry to hear. Why was I chosen to sing this song?" Peter asked as he raised his right eyebrow.

"BECAUSE THE SEXUALLY-FRUSTRATED Kool-Aid Man needs a jingle for his new commercial AND to honor the life of Angelina at the same time!" King Bruce Ice shouted in a booming voice. Bear shit literally dropped from the ceiling as a result of King Bruce Ice shouting.

Peter's eyes literally widened behind his glasses as he got pooped on. "But why me, specifically? Couldn't you hire some major music artists to sing those jingles?" he asked.

King Joebearcow also took a dump and opened up a portal between the dead and living.

I completely laughed my head off at this point and took a nuclear dump in that portal.

King Bruce Ice blinked as he stared at Peter. "Because I don't want to PAY them to sing that song," he said.

"Okay. But the last time I tried to sing a jingle for someone, I almost killed a man. But that was before I began practicing on a regular basis. Second, why couldn't the Sexually-Frustrated Kool-Aid Man sing his own song?" Peter asked.

"That's a very good question, Peter," King Joebearcow said with a growl as he stared at King Bruce Ice. He scratched his butt.

"And why are we covered in shit?" Peter asked while shaking his fist. Some poop flew off Peter's hand and into the air. Riley the Ace of Riddling swam over and ate it.

"Welcome to my asshole! It's like Willy Wonka's chocolate factory, but there is less bullshit here," King Bruce Ice said in a booming voice.

"But there's a lot more bear shit in here," a shorter, fatter version of King Bruce Ice said in a squeaky voice. The crown was over-sized on his head.

"Yes! Now, remember! The mascots never wrote their own jingles, unless they are Peter Parker," King Bruce Ice said as he stared straight at Peter Parker.

"Why not?" Peter asked as he threw his hands in the air.

The smaller, fatter King Bruce Ice then called the Sexually-Frustrated Kool-Aid Man. We heard beating and slapping of asses, "OH YEAH KOOL-AID'S HERE!!!!," women moaning and laughing, cars revving up their engines, Peter Killmeyer on YouTube talking about GM motors using Mexican labor to build the car parts, and DarthSydePhineas saying "I DIDN'T DO ANYTHING!!!!" for five minutes before the smaller, fatter King Bruce Ice hung up the phone with a mentally-scarred look on his face.

Peter's eyes almost popped out of his head. "Oh!"

"That's effed up effed up," King Joebearcow said as he stared blankly into King Bruce Ice's gaping asshole that was larger than the Milky Way.

I was suppressing laughter.

King Bruce Ice continued, "We must honor the dead! We must honor bears, goats, ducks, geese, cats, dogs, and Marvel comic book characters! Now go forth and sing that song! Incoming!!!"

A massive flood of shit just flew out of the ceiling and covered the whole meeting hall. King Joebearcow's Mama, who was a white bear with blue eyes, then appeared as she floated around in the meeting hall.

"Mama!!!" King Joebearcow shouted and swam over to hug her.

Mama Bear then held King Joebearcow and scratched his head. She then looked at him. "Did you get the mail?"

"No," King Joebearcow said. "Why? Were you expecting something? And Zoomers give me a headache."

Mama Bear then growled and said, "NO! In fact, there are days when I am tempted not to even go to the mailbox! Everyone gives me a headache!"

King Bruce Ice and I burst out laughing. Miss Oreo and Oreo, Sr. then meowed loudly.

Peter then sighed and said, "Dammit. I forgot to get the mail!" He walked on air and stared straight ahead.

"Don't do it! It's bad for your mental health!" Mama Bear shouted.

Peter chuckled as he walked away on air.

King Joebearcow then lost it and started laughing in high-pitch while crying.

"DON'T FORGET TO SING THAT SONG!" King Bruce Ice shouted as he took a shit on the other side of the screen.

King Bruce Ice has taken a shit, and King Bruce Ice has spoken!!

[lewisunlight]

besties when would be a good time to discuss rookie lewis? I'm in my feelings

He really got on the podium for his very first race and won his 6th overall race? Nearly won the championship even tho the odds were against him?

He ended up winning it the following year anyway?

He really has been goated forever

I wish I knew what the vibe around him coming into f1 was like back then, but I was a teenager😥

Oh anon bestie, rookie Lewis gets me in my feeling so much that I don't even know if I can properly talk about it. I watched the entire 2007 season last year and I was honestly emotional the entire time?

He was just... so young and small and yet already larger than life. All those hopes and ambitions, but also the weight of expectations... the absolute brilliance, but not being afforded the courtesy of a margin for error like any other rookie, because you're so so good that everyone just forgot that you're not a veteran, that it's just your first year too. And then the heartbreak of those last two races, that makes you wish you had a way to tell him that he will get there. It will come.

[female-buckets]

I SAW THE LJ WNBL NEWS LIKE A WEEK AGO AND FORGOT TO TELL YOU

so not only is the Southside flyers Abby Bishop’s current team, it also used to be the Dandenong Rangers, Penny Taylor’s team from 1999-2002 and 2014-15, and she carried the team (and the league). MVP twice, and her team lost the semis when she got hurt (they lost a 15pt lead in <8 minutes)

They also play like, a 30 minute drive from where I live, so guess who’s gonna get to see LJ play 🙋‍♀️🤞

Oh my god. Oh my god it's Penny's old team! Wow. Penny and Lauren's whole entire lives overlap. In so many many many ways 😂

Well now you've got to get a picture with Loz!!!

WNBL seems more laid back than WNBA and it's probably easier to meet the players. So maybe you should get like four or five pictures with the GOAT! Why stop at just one?

Also, do you think you'll go see any World Cup games? That could be really fun, too! I have a feeling, due to LJ's big comeback, it's going to be one of the most watched FIBA world cups! No one really watches FIBA world cups anyways so it's not like it'll be hard to break a viewership record. But anyways, people will definitely be watching! And that's great for the sport. Even if LJ only averages 20 minutes a game, her comeback is great for the sport overall.

And LJ helped organize this world cup in the first place!!! Oh LJ!!! Still doing so many wonderful things for basketball after all these years!!!

This still gives me chills! All that's left to do now is make it on that podium!

I was watching some NBL1 clips and Lauren was leading the huddles for her little team. And wow. She never did that before, at least not in the WNBA. She used to strike me as more of a scary lone wolf than a leader. But it's awesome to see her taking on all these new roles!

[yuzuruspoohsan]

All right, I’ve watched the recaps.

And I think, Yuzu’s skating was spellbinding.

Once again, I don’t care if he didn’t get those first two quads because he didn’t come to Beijing to win gold with a “safe” program. He came to dominate and he doesn’t need to prove anything to be honest, we know he’s GOAT. 

His short and free has got to be probably the most difficult programs I’ve seen for singles figure skating. I think they’re for madmen....which Yuzu is.

But also....both of his programs are extremely beautiful, artistic, and emotional. I’m happy to see that he is purposely keeping true to his assertion of wanting to showcase his culture as oppose to appeasing the norm with something that has more western influence. So, kudos to his conviction.

His skating speaks for itself, there isn’t any other male singles skater that can do what he does. Unfortunately, yes, the technical panel accounts for jumps more and he knows that, but he still said “I want the quad axel and that’s worth more than the Olympic gold.” He already has the Olympic gold, he came to set a record and make history is what he wanted. And guess what? He’s always going to the most inspiring to figure skater athletes because Yuzu is the true textbook for jumps if nothing less (he of course....has a whole string of things that he is great at, but I’m not the one you should go to for that). He doesn’t do anything half-assed, it’s either done or I-do-this-a-hundred-times-until-it’s-done.

I have a feeling he’s going to keep trying to get quad-axel until he can get it in the books, but we’ll have to see.

Note: I don’t want to see anyone bashing on Nathan Chen. I don’t accept that behavior. That guy skated his best and I think he did well (though...I have some minor nitpicks.)

Finally, I want to say. 

Jason Brown absolutely killed it for the free. I loved every second and I’m glad that his program really utilized, fully, his talents when it comes to figure skating (oh...thosse spirals....ohh...). I always ended up falling for his skating like it’s the first time I’m seeing it. Anyways, in my heart he gets a medal and I don’t care about the official podium stuff.

At the end of the day, I watch figure skating for the athletes and we all should watch to witness their hard work and be inspired!

That’s the end of my spiel. I hope everyone has a wonderful day and weekend!

[scrollingfan]

@gheysnakelady @dadschlatt-tommyau I wrote this while thinking of what I was actually going to be writing

This is on the subAU of if Schlatt exiled Tubbo instead

I also have a draft of a one shot that I will keep hidden so I don’t spoil my ask, as that is what it centers around, as well as waiting for your input to get more ideas.

“-Is to revoke the citizenship of Wilbur Soot,”

Tommy knew that he was going to be exiled with Wilbur once he heard the sentence, probably Tubbo, too, as he was very loyal to the former President and Vice President. He knew, even though his headache made it damn near impossible to think straight, that they were going to be exiled.  “and Tubbo Underscore.”

What.

Why just them.

Why not him.

Why.

Why.

Why.

Why.

Why. Why. Why. Why. Why. Why. Why. Why. Why. Why. Why. Why. Why. Why. Why. Why. Why. Why. Why. Why. Why. Why. Why. Why. Why. Why. Why. Why. Why. Why. Why. Why. Why. Why. Why. Why. Why. Why. Why. Why. Why. Why. Why. Why. Why. Why. Why. Why. Why. Why. Why. Why. Why. Why. Why. Why. Why. Why. Why. Why. Why. Why. Why. Why. Why. Why. Why. Why. Why. Why. 

WHY?

How had he not been exiled along with them, when he was just as if not mor loyal than Wilbur Soot? After the speech, Schlatt called Tommy to his office. The office had already been decorated to Schlatt’s liking, but it was bland. Schlatt had called Tommy there to be his right hand man. Tommy’s headache grew worse the closer he was to Schlatt, and the more time he spent with his father the goat man. Tommy instantly new something was wrong the moment he heard Schlatt ask him to be his Vice President in that weird, soft tone Schlatt had been using around him. Tommy new it was only for Schlatt to keep the revolution at bay, but the tone was more for manipulation if Tommy had read the goat right. Something in him pulled to believe it was genuine kindness, that Schlatt wouldn’t manipulate Tommy, but he guessed it was only a longing for his older brother, Wilbur, to be there. But now, all Tommy could do was wait for his time to shine. He knew Wilbur wouldn’t let go of L’manburg, Tommy refused to call it by Manburg unless Schlatt was around, that easily. The revolution was coming. Down with the President.

Over the past month, all Schlatt had shown to Tommy and Quackity was compassion and kindness, although he put up a cold front when business happened. Tommy had grown fond of Schlatt, against his own better judgement, of course, and trusted him. Tommy didn’t want to, but somehow the goat was a familiar and comfortable part of Tommy’s life. His headaches only worsened, but that was fine.

Well, fine until he started growing horns, goat ears, goat legs, and a tail. His suspicions that Schlatt were just using him coming back way stronger than before, even as he was helping Pogtopia. But Wilbur had become paranoid, and Tommy was worried that the features were going to make Wilbur and Tubbo terrified of him. So he confronted the only other person he trusted. Quackity. And it was the best decision he could have made. Quackity supported him, he didn’t ask questions and just... helped. Free of charge. It was unlike anything Tommy was used to. No, Tommy did not cry, he is a big man. What are you talking about-

Schlatt was never aware or told, as Tommy asked for it to be private between just him and Quackity.

Things were fine.

Until the festival.

Wilbur was going to blow it up only if Tommy said the line.

The line being- ““And let the festivities begin!”

Because, as Vice President, he had to say a few words at the festival.

Tommy was suspicious of Schlatt, and hated his guts for what he was doing to him. Schlatt had cursed him, Tommy was sure.

And, because Tommy hated Schlatt, he was going to allow Wilbur to blow it all up.

So, Tommy walked to the mic, said some words, and it was said.

“And let the festivities begin!”

Explosions. That was all Tommy heard as he rushed off stage, only to catch a glimpse of Schlatt’s confused face turning horrified at what had happened, not able to run for cover in time, like everyone else. It was fine, though. Everyone had joined Pogtopia’s side, anyways. Schlatt would be gone, and everything would be back to normal. It was only the podium that had blown, shooting everywhere, as Tommy and Tubbo convinced Wilbur to only blow where Schlatt was.

Then came everyone getting up, only to hear Schlatt’s bleats for help. Everyone knew he was in distress, but Tommy strangely recognized the sound. Once everyone got there, they found Schlatt trapped under rubble, bleeding out, his only chance of survival with someone else’s healing potion.

Everyone gathered around casting him cold glares and shaking their heads when he asked for help, chugging their own health potions in front of him. Tommy felt unsure, and, he felt fucking pity.

Pity at his enemy.

Tommy had two health potions in case he needed to give one to someone else, and felt ashamed when he chugged his own, bringing out the other while he drank, to chug down again what a waste, his own father was dying and he was wasting valuables instead of helping him, and saw Schlatt’s eyes that were once betrayed and sad, flash with hope, but growing dreary and glazed.

“I knew it. Tommy, you wouldn’t abandon me.” Schlatt laughed a weak laugh, voice cracking. “And to think my own son would abandon me to die. What a stupid thought.” Schlatt laughed the same, familiar laugh again, this time, pain crept into his wheeze like frost on a windowsill in early winter.

But Tommy wasn’t focused on his voice. He just subconsciously took of the beanie to reveal his horns and ears. Everyone gasped at the sight.

“Dad?” Tommy’s voiced shook as he reached out to give Schlatt the potion. He didn’t even know he was doing it, just an instinct to help the man who was supposedly his father in front of him. “Yeah, Toms, surprised you didn’t find out earlier.”

Before Tommy could allow Schlatt to grab the potion, a sharp, unfriendly hand grabbed his wrist, gripping onto it like ice. Tommy didn’t bleat out at the unexpected pain in his wrist, never.

“What do you think you are doing?” A voice, dripping venom asked slowly to the shaking, blonde goat.

Schlatt snatched the potion of healing out of Tommy’s hands, clearing the rubble from around him, and quickly stood to face Wilbur, the man the voice belonged to.

““What are you doing to my son?”

[reydelcastill0]

Are They Selfish?

Tubbo likes their friends a lot, don't get them wrong. But seeing Tommy with his family reminds Tubbo how much they yearn for their own family. They hope it's okay to have found one in Manberg.

Tommy has always had it all. Friends, family... And often times, the spotlight. Tubbo wasn't jealous of it, because they always had second-hand whatever Tommy had, but it was tiring experience everything like that. They wanted Wilbur's attention, too, or to be acknowledged as more than an errand boy. And they also didn't want to suffer alongside Tommy. They know that sounds rude, but sometimes Tubbo has to pay for things Tommy does and he doesn't.

They like hanging out with Tommy, being their best friend and all. It's just exhausting to be forced into a supporting character role. They probably don't want the main character role anyways, but they want more than they have. They're not jealous of Tommy, who seems favored by Wilbur. They're not jealous, and they don't think they ever could be. They love Tommy too much to... Well, Tubbo just knows they wouldn't abandon Tommy, not on purpose, and not out of jealousy. They can only imagine under one specific condition, but Tubbo knows Tommy loves them just as much as Tubbo loves him, so it would never happen.

Tubbo, who had initially thought Tommy and Wilbur's drug scandal was not good, but quickly changed over because of Tommy, knew they would never leave Tommy. They weren't even mad when Tommy left them, he was exiled. Even if all Tubbo wanted to do was follow him, but couldn't, Tubbo wouldn't be mad at Tommy. If anyone, they should be mad at Schlatt. Schlatt separated the boys, immediately doing so by blinding Tubbo with fear and a promise of power.

"Tommy?" Tubbo had called out, forgetting to turn on their walkie-talkie as they realized that he was truly gone, standing in shock as they watch their friends run away from an onslaught of arrows. They remain in L'Manberg, primarily out of shock, but mostly hoping for a sign that perhaps Schlatt is joking. That maybe after talking about the fountain and lowered taxes... That maybe Schlatt would say that he was joking. Tubbo quickly learns the new president— the emperor— wasn't.

"Tubbo? Where's Tubbo? Where's Tubbo" They hear Schlatt say, the mic amplifying his voice with an echo. It can be heard all across L'Manberg, the walls failing to dampen the sound.

"I'm right here," is all they can bring themselves to say. They stand at the top of the walls, watching Schlatt speak to the podium. Schlatt grins, the action being just shy of a smirk, when he spots them.

"Tubbo, get— get up here, get up here on my podium," Schlatt says, but Tubbo immediately stutters, "C'mon Tubbo, you're the secretary of state." He spoke matter-of-factly, catching Tubbo off guard. It filled them with a sense of hope and joy. They can keep their job? Surely not...

"Wait, what?— ok?" They hear Quackity chime in with 'Effective immediately, Tubbo.' "Wait I'm secretary— am I?"  The promise of it is extremely intriguing. For a moment, it makes Tubbo forget about Tommy. They begin heading back to where the podium is, exiting the walls of L'Manberg.

"Yeah, I think that's, think that's— I think he's always been that? I dunno," Schlatt says. He doesn't seem to really bother much about the facts, he still seems keen on keeping Tubbo around. That makes Tubbo a slight bit happy, too. Schlatt doesn't care what Tubbo's status of power was, all that matters to him was Tubbo. Tubbo!

"Yeah, yeah that's... I didn't know I got to keep my—"

"Well I'm not gonna fire you! I mean you're Tubbo! What am I, gonna fire Tubbo?" He speaks of Tubbo as though they are extremely valuable to him. As if their worth to the nation is obvious. It's not, at least, Wilbur has never made it seem that way. This seems like a step-up, but Schlatt is conveniently making them lose sight of what's important here.

"Uh, okay?" Tubbo agrees, confused on to why Schlatt even wants to keep them. Everyone treats them like an errand boy. Besides, they're Tommy's best friend, shouldn't they be exiled as well. What good is Tubbo to Schlatt if Tommy isn't there, too? Everyone always wants Tommy around.

Schlatt's tone had remained slightly jovial, but then all of a sudden his tone becomes frighteningly serious. "Tubbo, get up here. Now." It makes Tubbo a slight bit scared, worried about what happens if they don't comply with the 'emperor'.

"I've- I've— I'm actually currently—," Tubbo decides for a moment what they want to do. Standing at the start of the path leading to the podium, they weigh their options. They could go find Tommy... Or they could stand beside Schlatt as a secretary of state. They make their choice, but they don't truly consider it. "Ok, I'm on my way," they repeat so that Schlatt does not assume otherwise. Their words have a hint of fear, no doubt because Schlatt is single-handedly the most intimidating man on the server. Far more than Dream could ever hope to be.

"Get up here now," Schlatt commands. It's frightening, so Tubbo hastens even more. They walk up the steps and rush to Schlatt. The fear driving them more than the desire for the position. They continue repeating, "I'm on my way."

Schlatt continues to goad Tubbo onto the podium, his tone returning to a more friendly and inviting one when he spots them. "Take my spot on the podium!" He cheers. He begins to praise Tubbo as though they were the very reason the nation is worth anything. It makes them feel more wanted than they have in a while. Being called the goat-man's right hand man even further solidifies the thought, overpowering their need to find Tommy and join him. Tubbo is caught off guard by the positive attention, of Schlatt's claims and appraisal.

They only snap out of it when Schlatt says, softly yet with an underlying tone of menace, "I need you to find Tommy, and I need you to show him the door. Rumor has it, he's around here..." Tubbo complies, defeated beyond belief. At least they can still go and find Tommy. Unfortunately, not under the ideal conditions. They turn on the walkie-talkie and ignore Tommy as he tries to convince Tubbo not to go through with this. They don't want to, but they chose Schlatt over their friends— their leader and their best friend. Tubbo chose Schlatt... They hope they won't regret it; they know they will.

(Thankfully, they eventually manage to convince Wilbur and Tommy of their support— their allyship. If only they would have been allowed to join Pogtopia.)

Perhaps, Tubbo shouldn't have chosen to side with Schlatt. Then, maybe, they would've been with Tommy, Wilbur, and Techno... The brothers. Tubbo would have loved to have been apart of that. But Schlatt treats Tubbo as though they're valuable and Tubbo wonders if that's how they would've been treated at Pogtopia. Schlatt even takes time to talk to Tubbo. To ask them about their day, their progress with assignments, and even tries to hang out with them.

It makes Tubbo feel wanted— more wanted than anyone has made them feel in the longest time.

And everyone is so supportive of Tubbo, even when Tubbo says they're pregnant. They're not, but Schlatt is so respectful about Tubbo's privacy that Tubbo actually enjoys it. Schlatt doesn't ask who the dad is, or how long they've been pregnant, or what they'll name the baby (that doesn't exist). Instead, Schlatt makes a slight effort to even give Tubbo less labor intensive work. After all, it's bad for the baby. At least, that's what Quackity had told Schlatt. No doubt to ease up the work on the child.

Quackity and Fundy fully support Tubbo, not batting an eye at the pregnancy. Fundy seemed skeptical at first, but they brush it off eventually. Tubbo wonders why, but forgets to ponder it any longer when Fundy asks if they're is anything Tubbo needs. Fundy is so kind to Tubbo. Has been since Tubbo officially became a member of the L'Manberg SMP.

Fundy seems to have bought the pregnancy story, even going so far as to tell Tubbo that he'll support them. Tubbo is glad, regardless of the validity of their own child. Tubbo remembers that once, they and Fundy had say down inside of L'Manberg's walls and talked. It was the night that Wilbur had said that Fundy was born a girl. Curiously, Tubbo asked what that meant, only to find out that they themselves were in a similar position. They became much closer than ever, bonding over being trans and how they wish Wilbur would give them a fraction of the attention they give Tommy.

Now, Fundy and Tubbo have room to bond over more things.

"Schlatt's really nice," Tubbo says randomly while they're hanging out. He is, Tubbo wouldn't argue otherwise. Schlatt is very considerate of his citizens. He takes time to check in on all of them. Tubbo attributes most of that to the need to hold control and to make sure no one is forming an inside rebellion. Tubbo wants to attribute it to that, but Tubbo feels like the man genuinely cares.

"Yeah," Fundy responds, "He calls me son."

"I've noticed. He's called me son once, too," Tubbo says. They ponder over it. Schlatt is a nice man. He acts like a dad and makes sure everyone is in good health. He let's everyone have their fun. He's very different from Wilbur, even though the former president wanted his citizens to be in good health. Schlatt treats everyone respectfully and equally. It doesn't matter that Fundy is a Soot. He conveniently ignored that fact, accepting that Its Fundy Soot is simply Fundy.  He doesn't even care that Fundy and Tubbo are trans. He just treats them like any other citizen.

"He treats me like I'm normal," Fundy says with a sigh. Wilbur never did. Wilbur always baby-talked him and called him Champion. It was patronizing. Schlatt gives them all a default level of respect that Wilbur never really gave. It's a very welcome change.

"You are normal," Tubbo says.

"We are normal," Fundy corrects. After a bit, they direct the conversation to Tubbo's baby. Fundy is as respectful about Tubbo's privacy as Schlatt, but he seems exited no less. Tubbo is glad to have someone like Fundy in their life. He's like a brother. They've always wanted a brother.

Tubbo feels like he was lucky to get another brother, too. Quackity is the most concerned about Tubbo, seemingly trying to prevent Tubbo from doing mentally scarring things. He tried his best to stop Tubbo from the tearing down the walls, yelling as he watches do so with tears. Quackity also gets very concerned and stressed whenever Schlatt scolds Tubbo. Yeah, at times Quackity is more in tune with Schlatt, trying to keep the child in check and making sure he isn't part of any rebellion. Yeah, Quackity is most of the reason Schlatt is in power in the first place, but Quackity's loyalty wavers. If they could've done so, they would have tried to get Quackity to support Pogtopia.

Quackity is loyal, even if it seems like at times they reevaluate their stance, and won't turn against Schlatt. Tubbo tried to gauge Quackity's allegiance and came up with nothing. Quackity is pro-Manberg through and through. But at least the loyalty he pours into the nation is poured into Tubbo as well.

He always checks in with Tubbo when Schlatt is being a bit mean. He tells Tubbo that he'll always be there for them and if they ever need someone to help or step in, to let him know. Quackity is adamant that Tubbo knows he can be trusted. After all, Tubbo is a Manbergian. Tubbo matters to Quackity, and Tubbo likes to think that they still will even if things go south.

Tubbo likes that. He always worried Wilbur would ignore them like he does with Fundy. But neither Schlatt nor Quackity, and not even Fundy, ignore Tubbo. Everyone is so considerate of Tubbo's feelings.

Tubbo is glad that people care about him.

His feelings about Schlatt, Fundy, and Quackity become fully realized during one meeting with Tommy. Tubbo ends up in possession of all the discs. The discs that started a mess. A mess that has eventually become Manberg. They were with Tommy, who seemed worried and anxious. Wilbur has gone crazy, but Tommy doesn't say much about it. Instead he proposes to run away. Tubbo is almost on board with the idea.

They have all they've ever wanted. They're part of a war because of the discs. They could run away, take the discs with them and never look back. Except... Well, Tubbo has made a family in Manberg. Schlatt is so kind to Tubbo. Manipulative, they know, but Tubbo knows how genuine Schlatt is most of the time. Schlatt cares, even if he tries to appear otherwise. Fundy and Tubbo are closer than they ever have been. Bonding over the fake baby (not fake to Fundy's— or anyone's— knowledge) or their enjoyment in the nation. Quackity is there, too, concerned about Tubbo almost every step of the way. Tubbo can't leave that behind. Tubbo doesn't want to. They love everyone too much.

But Tubbo can't tell Tommy that. If Tommy decides to leave, they will. They've made heartbreaking decisions before. But Tommy changes his mind, and they both end up agreeing that for Wilbur, they'll keep fighting. Tubbo knows that, deep down, they're going to stay because the people in Manberg matter to Tubbo, even if they're the enemy.

Are they selfish? Are they selfish for wanting  the family they've never had? Even at the cost of what's 'right'?—

Once about to part ways with Tommy, Schlatt, Fundy, and Quackity arrive at the embassy. Tubbo and Tommy become panicked, and Tommy leaves the excuse to Tubbo. It's not hard to think of one, it's very easy to reuse one after all. The same one they've been having to use this whole time.

Schlatt quickly asks Tubbo about this. It does look suspicious. Tubbo is from Manberg; Tommy was exiled and is now a vital part of Pogtopia...

Tubbo rushes to Schlatt's side and tugs on the goat-man's arm. Schlatt understands that Tubbo wants him to lean down a slight bit. "You know how I said I was pregnant?"

"Yeah?" Schlatt answers, wondering why Tubbo would need to meet up Tommy. He tenses, and Tubbo thinks it's a sign of him being a slight bit angry. Tommy looks a bit worried, shocked, and slightly scared (from what Tubbo can see) Tubbo, before continuing, realizes that maybe they think Tommy will be claimed as the dad.

"He's my pediatrician," Tubbo states. There's no hesitation. Both Schlatt and Tommy relax.

Schlatt seems confused, until he realizes what Tubbo means to say. "A gynecologist," he corrects Tubbo. Tubbo instantly agrees. Schlatt doesn't seem content, though, especially when Tommy starts pointing his gun at Schlatt for breaking apart the embassy.

Schlatt seems like he's about to sick everyone on Tommy, but Tubbo just furthers that Tommy is a perfectly fine gynecologist. "I like them rude," "I crave bad behavior," and what-not.

Everyone seems sold on the cover story, but a bit disappointed.

"Maybe you should let us know you're going to handle your pregnancy," Schlatt says, and everyone agrees. Tubbo feels happy when he realizes Tommy is not the issue here, but rather Tommy's qualifications. They don't want Tubbo to suffer from any sort of malpractice. They care about Tubbo's health and will set aside differences for Tubbo.

When Tommy leaves, shooting Quackity before doing so, everyone tells Tubbo that they want to help. They even suggest asking if Bad knows how to be a gynecologist. They trust their ally more, after all. They trust Bad with Tubbo, who matters to them. They all tell Tubbo that they matter and that they want them to be able to say they need to visit a doctor. They want Tubbo to trust all of them.

Tubbo feels bad that their whole pregnancy story is a lie. They feel so loved and supported by everyone it almost makes them cry. Tubbo hopes no one will be made when they have to come clean about the pregnancy.

When everyone is at Manberg, Schlatt takes Tubbo to the White House and talks with them.

"Tubbo," Schlatt starts. "Do you trust me?"

"Yes, Schlatt."

"Then can you please talk to me about your health. I know I don't know anything about babies, but you're going to have one! I want... I want to be there for you, ok?" Schlatt tells them.

"I— Thank you," Tubbo earnestly tells him, "Thanks, dad." It slips out of Tubbo too quickly for them to pull it back. They knew they had been thinking about the man as a sort of dad, but they didn't expect their thoughts to ever be vocalized, much less on accident.

"Dad?" Schlatt whispers. He seems baffled, eyes wide and ears pointed directly at Tubbo. Tubbo can see a bit of a smile form on his muzzle as he becomes a bit relaxed. "Dad... I like the sound of that," he mutters softly. He stands up and walks to Tubbo.

Tubbo stands up and when they realize that he is offering a hug. Tubbo instantly accepts. They wrap their arms around the man and hug tightly. This is nice, they think, very nice.

"I'm here for you Tubbo. You're my right hand man... My son." That alone means the world to him. Schlatt is his dad now, and Tubbo almost cries out of joy. This is all he's ever wanted. A dad... brothers... A proper family who values them.

Tommy has always had it all. Tubbo knows now that they were jealous. Jealous of it all. Tommy has brothers who would kill for him, a dad who cherishes him. Tommy has it all, even during exile. Tubbo wanted a piece of that, but alongside him? They would never have even been close to having that. Tubbo thinks they finally have it all, too. Tommy and their family. The discs...

Tubbo has it all now. They decide they'll enjoy it while it last. They'll help plan the festival and they'll enjoy it! With their family. They've finally found their family. Tubbo would fight for their family. Tubbo thinks that they'll choose their family... They just hope Tommy can understand, because Tubbo doesn't really want to make that decision, but they will if they have to.