#anyways might buy another volume of the manga

[2waw]

I js start reading sakamoto days so i had to make smth

I think nagumo is a cool character + his weapons r cool too

[pelleas-at-castle-nox]

I'm surprised I haven't really seen anybody talking about the food sourcing theme in dungeon meshi. Like, the very first thing it made me think about when I started reading the manga was like "oh yeah, this really makes you think about food, where it comes from, the work needed to create enough food for one person, let alone a small group, to eat comfortably and nutritiously. Laios even specifically calls out that 'regular' food is also made using shit and dirt, intentionally grounding it in reality and subtly asking the reader to introspect on the food they eat and where it comes from."

Like, it's fair to say kui has the old "world builder's" spirit, it's easy to extrapolate a whole world when you're willing to both ask "how does x mundane task work?" And being willing to give it as fanciful or grounded an answer as you feel is appropriate, food is the central theme, but that sort of thinking extends to every corner of the lore and world building where you can practically begin to trace back a lot of world elements to these basic questions, like "what would happen if there were people who lived for 500 years, what would happen if you fought a creature with two heads" and I think that's really cool-

But like, that core question "where does the food that sustains you come from" is like such a relevant question that we should all be asking ourselves. I suppose it's just that I think about that often, both when I'm world building, and in modern and historical contexts.

In a lot of ways it's alienation of labor, most USAmericans (to keep it at least slightly contained in scope) don't get to know where any of the food they eat actually comes from. At best, you might buy your own groceries and maybe even be able to google some information as to the conditions at the place this food was grown, maybe you're lucky/resourced enough to grow some of your own food in like a garden. At worst you get your food premade and prepackaged and you're even completely divorced from the preparation aspect.

A major symptom of this is clearly shown in dungeon meshi's opening and especially in kabru shuro and even the canaries: when food is taken for granted, it becomes easy to neglect. The party initially wiped simply because they'd not considered how suicidal it was to press onward while exhausted, Kabru is so dissociated and focused that he shuts out most of his own biological signifiers of hunger, Shuro starves himself, equating food with leisure instead of a vital practice to sustain life and energy, and of course there's mister no desires.

It's no mistake that in all of the above cases, it's seemed to be heavily implied that food is either an after thought, or someone else's responsibility, or a simple logistical concern. Senshi's whole rant (in volume 1!!) about "oh the youths of today just buying prepackaged meat wine and bread" is especially tied in to this main theme of "do you know where your food comes from?" By taking it to the next level and asking "do you know why you're eating what you're eating?"

To take a personal side tangent, I was recently diagnosed as diabetic, and it's completely changed my relationship to food on a pretty fundamental level, but I'd say I'd always had a pretty good and healthy relationship with food (after I stopped having an eating disorder but that's a story for another day) so it was an easy enough adjustment to have to start actually thinking about how much of my diet was carbs and things like that, it just became a matter of considering what I was eating and when and why. I'm still not perfect at it and it's still a learning process but I'm working on it.

Anyways, my main theory as to why I've not seen it being pontificated on is just that in general people really hate being asked "do you know what you're eating?" Around these parts in a general fashion, but like, especially with weaponized starvation going on and very real issues of things like food desserts in America, and the fact that we all have to pay for just about every little meal, I think it's important for leftists to contemplate the political implications of meals.

An army runs on its stomach after all. Rant over

[shinnyshining]

Things I brought today (mostly at the SE exhibition) and some opinions about the whole experience

I couldn’t get everything I wanted I over estimated how much cash I’ll need to have with me so I’ll probably will go again tomorrow

Which is the last day so I need to go early…

I also couldn’t get that one frame magnet I wanted…volume 5 my dads….no… I’ll….I have no choice but to get the whole set just to get them guaranteed cuz I cant go back to the shopping area onceI exit the shop 😭

And its all sold out in the second hand listings on mercari jp ,…hope the whole box is somewhat affordable

Anyway…if I get doubles, yall know how to dm me ;3

Also I got the kid ,liz and patty shikishi as you can see and I only hope to get soul and maka tomorrow cuz its so expensive on mercari I wont be paying 3000 yen just for a shikishi no waaay

WAIT

I FORGOT

I got the only cute exhibition keychain because ohkubo gave them very questionable angled illustrations which didnt translate well in merchs in my opinion ESPECIALLY on the acrylic stands they look nightmare fuels, but crona is fine (I sense some favoritism ngl) patty was cute too actually but I was on a budget

Anddd I got the badges from blind bags so its all gacha I like crona though Im happy and I will give the tsubaki one to a friend.

There were two entry tickets one was 2500 yen as standart

And the other was 3000 yen with limited goods which was this wristband , I think for 500 yen more it was worth it I might get another one tomorrow with entrance its high quality and soft

Lastly if you brought anything over 5000yen total you get this bag, but you wont get a double for every 5000 you buy, quickly learned since I spended around 11k with some goods I picked for my friend, so if anyone is interested in going to the Osaka venue, just so you know if you go with a friend you may wanna pay separately if you want a bag for every each one of you

Also tip from me: dont be stupid like me and bring more money with you if theres something you want that is not guaranteed and is in a blind bag…cuz the chances of you getting lucky is not reliable and if you are as desperate as me you’ll pay for another entrance😭😭😭

Especially cuz you cant go back there if it turns out you didn’t get what you wanted, you’ll need another ticket so…buying the box seems more worth it (only if you need and want something absolutely that you’ll go that far) (actually its not a super big deal for badges and limited shikishi boards and cards since there aren’t many designs. But the mangets…they have 16 designs so it is pricey)

Now as for the exhibition hall itself, most things were okay to photograph and its consisted of mostly manga panels and official arts,there were cool cut outs and giant volume covers on the walls. seeing the panels upclose was interesting especially cuz I do comics as well and aspire to do it professionally in the future

But I guess the coolest experience is that they fully voice acted a certain chapter from the manga (didn’t finish it yet so I don’t know which) but it was so cool cuz it was all newly voiced (manga only duh) and the visuals were in a dynamic video edited pretty well, there were some live 2d just a little but it was there, it was not allowed to film that there which gives me hope that they will upload it to socials after the exhibition fully ends nationwide. But you never know

(italso gave me hope for a possible remake but I don’t wanna get my hopes up)

Anyway I might make a google drive with everything I took pictures of later , Im kinda tired today

but I wanna say to those who have high expectations for this exhibition

don’t expect something revolutionary.unfortunately it was mostly manga pages displayed (the giant official art were cool though cuz you could see more details of them) and as for props, aside from some decorations hanging from the walls and cielings here and there there was a shinigami sama cut out and the mirror, but thats about it) so definitely a little underwhelming for a 20th anniversary exhibition , at least from my expectations

I enjoyed it because I like Soul Eater and Im pretty hyperfixated on it right now, but that doesn’t keep me away from criticizing it and I do just that CUZ I LIKE SOUL EATER

there were so many things they could do and honestly for 20th anniversary it was pretty small and the exclusive merchandise was just… meh??? especially the illustrations made specifically for the Exhibition itself (which wasn’t even that much just the main 3 duo/trio’s) Honestly I have to say Im quite disappointed with Ohkubo it seemed like he didn’t give his all designing the illustrations. they didn’t even performed well as various types of goods and ,sure, he made a design and its not that bad , but he could at least draw them again with no weird angling that only looks okay in a promotional poster, aside from that, you know the magnets are made from previously made official arts and manga covers, there were some cool stuff like kid’s skateboard and Soul’s jacket but those are made to order and you can’t even get them there at the time,

NOT TO MENTION THIS SUPER COOL ART WAS NI WHERE TO BE FOUND AT THE GOODS SHOP IT IS A MISSED OPPORTUNITY TO ME!!

A mini acrylic stand of this could be sooo cool 😭😭😖

The nuis are cool it was well overdue I hope they will make more characters in the future they should capitalize on them a bit more

Tote bags , hoodies and such were something to be expected from exhibitions like this Im not really impressed but they were nice as designs

But my opinion is set, they could’ve done so much more for this exhibition and it was a little underwhelming so only consider attending if you like to see official arts and manga panels up close, and if you like to interact with very limited props and watching the exclusive manga voice acting (to me that alone is worth to visit ngl) and of course the goods, only if you’re interested in

I do some theories why this exhibition was the way it is I mainly think, the budget was set and it was not much to do more than what we got especially considering the made to order goods, but it gives me hope, even after 20 years I think Soul Eater as a series is still profitable and I hope this exhibition does well enough for the higher ups to consider making more things in the future

Thats all from Shining today :3

[ramenrescue]

do you any headcanons/aus/thoughts on usao/ousa ? loved your analysis of ogata/asirpa

Oh boy, I might have too many thoughts about Usami and Ogata so this may have to come in parts, especially the AUs. I have started writing a modern day reincarnation fic for them because I am just very feral about these two at the moment, so if I ever finish that and feel compelled to put it out to the world I'll let you know. The thing about writing fic or manga is like -- I can write little snippets but to piece them together into one coherent story is very difficult.

Anyway, your ask came at such a prompt time because I managed to buy the Japanese volumes on Bookwalker for almost 50% off and I specifically reread the main parts with Usami, so they are quite fresh in my mind. I think I agree with other analyses I have read about Usami in that he is a direct foil to Ogata. And this can be seen in their superficial traits: Ogata has many square-shaped, angular, sharp motifs on his face, like his square-shaped eyes, square shaped iris, squared eyebrows, square jawline, square hairline, while Usami has rounded tips on his eyelashes, round moles on his cheeks, rounded lips (cupid's bow), concentric circles for his pupil/iris, and rounded brows. Usami excels at close-range combat, while Ogata excels at long-range combat. Usami grew up amongst a large family with many siblings, while Ogata grew up practically an only child.

But here's the weird part -- I actually don't think they are complete opposites -- I think they have some things in common. <- more on this later.

It is interesting how in Usami's backstory (Chapter 227), Tsurumi (in conversation with the dojo owner) refers to Usami as a "dog among sheep" and a "born soldier who is highly loyal, combative, and is able to kill without remorse or regret". Then, it cuts to Usami in present day saying he predicts the serial killer in Sapporo will return to the scene of the crime and masturbate while reminiscing of their crimes because he understands that sentiment on a personal level. Usami here appears to show understanding that he possesses an innate capacity for violence.

Ogata was always wondering about the whole nature vs nurture question -- like whether lacking remorse for the act of killing is something one is born with or a product of one's environment (ex. bad childhood, war). Usami is a shining example that humans can in fact kill without remorse, and everyone except Ogata knows Usami is an exception to the rule. Usami is well aware this is what makes him special and this is one of the reasons why Tsurumi values him so much as a subordinate.

The problem with Ogata is that because he appears to have very little personal connections outside of Usami during the war (which is... kind of cute in a pitiable way?), he misconstrues that people like Usami are the majority. Usami agrees with all of Ogata's skewed interpretations and analyses that "all (majority of) people do not feel remorse in the act of killing" and in doing that, he is straight up lying. Usami knows people like himself are in the minority -- and because his analysis of Ogata's character was so spot on -- I'll go as far to say Usami knows Ogata is "normal" -- because if Ogata were truly a "born soldier" like Usami, he would not be ruminating about the philosophy of guilt and killing and questioning himself and bouncing his ideas off of another person -- he would just simply, be. Usami receives further confirmation that Ogata is simply, "just a guy", when he overhears Ogata calling Yusaku's name in his sleep. Usami also calls Ogata a snot-nosed brat quite a number of times, and I think that is alluding to Usami knowing that Ogata is just a sheep wearing wolf's skin.

It's interesting that Ogata entrusted the inner workings of his mind to Usami. I thought about this and I came to the conclusion that maybe he saw his own mother in Usami -- which I know, it's kind of insane, but I'm going somewhere with this! In Chapter 304, when Ogata is reminiscing about his mother, it appears she has a prominent cupid's bow -- a physical characteristic possessed by Usami. His mother likely called Ogata by his first name, and Usami is shown to be THE only person in present day who calls Ogata by his first name. Ogata's mom was head over heels over a man in a position of power with a wife who never returned the same level of love, while Usami is head over heels over a "promiscuous" man in a position of power who will likely never return the same level of affection that he's outputting. Another interesting side note: Usami chides Ogata for being the illegitimate son of an escort* and back in the Edo period, women in the business would chop off their pinkie as a sign of loyalty to their patron. Although Ogata likely did not have a good vantage point (nor did he care) to observe Usami's final moments, I think it's still worth mentioning that Usami getting his pinkie chomped off by Tsurumi resembles an escort chopping off her finger as a sign of ultimate devotion to her customer, lol. Anyway, I think because Ogata drew parallels between Yusaku and Asirpa, it is not so far fetched that he saw his mother in Usami -- and ultimately his projection made him trust Usami more than one ever should. There is one more important evidence that Ogata saw his mother in Usami -- in that he killed both of them with similar intent. He killed his mom not out of hatred, but because he wanted to put her out of her misery -- and he thought that if his father came to her funeral, she would be happy. Before he shoots Usami, he says something like "if you're so worried about being Tsurumi's cheapest pawn, why don't you see what his face looks like at your funeral," and in a way, he is putting Usami out of his miserable state of feeling inadequate. Ogata killed his mother with conviction that the positive outcome would happen, while he kills Usami with more of a neutral outlook -- and interestingly, Ogata, by killing Usami, gave Usami the thing he wanted most in life -- a reaffirmation from Tsurumi that he was his one and only (which, whether Tsurumi was telling the truth or not is dubious from a reader's POV, but alas, we are happy for Usami).

So here we return to my earlier point -- that they are crafted to be very different from each other, but they do possess similarities. One obvious one is that they both yearn for affection from Tsurumi -- which highlights another difference in that, yes they both yearn for love, but the love they seek are different. Usami yearns for love from one person and one person only, while Ogata is more agnostic and yearns for love from pretty much anyone who is willing to give him attention. But here's the thing -- I think Ogata's yearning for affection is a product of his environment -- and I think Usami's yearning to be someone's one and only, is also a product of his environment! I think that because he grew up in a large family, the love from his parents was dispersed amongst all of their children***, fostering an environment ripe for someone like Tsurumi to sweep him off his feet and pour "love" into this near-empty vessel. Usami felt intoxicated by the notion of being someone's one and only, that his jealousy-filled-rage led him to murder. I'd argue that without the addition of Tsurumi, there would be no Usami. Tsurumi compared Usami not to a wolf or a bear -- but a domesticated dog -- which is not, by itself, likely to commit acts of violence**. A soldier becomes a soldier only when commanded -- STEERED in the right direction, much like a dog will become violent when raised to do so. Therefore, a version of Usami who never met a sweet-talker like Tsurumi in his formative years, would likely not grow up to be an ultra-loyal killing-machine. To sum, I believe Usami's capacity for violence is an innate quality that can only be harnessed by the right environment.

Thank you for the question! One thing I still haven't quite wrapped my mind around is how after Ogata shoots Usami, he says "thank you, Usami, your death has completed me as a sniper." Okay??? What does he mean by that! I don't know! So if you or anyone reading this has any thoughts I'd love to know!

--

*=note that 商売女can include prostitutes and geisha, and the lines between geisha and prostitution was a lot blurrier back then so I'm just calling them an "escort" although Ogata's mom is officially known to be a former geisha

**=note that this is a sweeping generalization and I am aware different dog breeds do display varying levels of unpredictable, aggressive behavior

***=I just want to point out that Usami's parents are portrayed as being in love with each other, so they may have had that many kids as a result of lack of contraception. There's a scene in Vagabond with a couple who are having sex despite their many children crying out of hunger, and it kind of reminds me of that...

[fairygeek777]

Can you tell us more about your Sailor Earth OC? 👀

Oh my goodness thank you for asking!!! I'm going to be greedy and use this as an info dump, hope that’s okay anon! 🙏

For starters, I should mention that Sailor Earth is a redesign/alternate fandom recycle of my main oc Genevieve Marena. She was originally created in 2018 for the Fairy Tail fandom and started with the name Hoseki Ishi. 

Gene's thing was always diamonds, gems and minerals. So when I became obsessed with- *ahem* I mean, Got into Sailor Moon, I could not resist the urge to draw her as Sailor Earth. I drew her within a month of reading and buying the first 2 volumes LOL. 

This is the art from August 1st 2022

Since then I fell utterly in love with Dream arc, Mamoru and any version of him, Elysion, the Golden Kingdom, Helios’ role as a guardian priest and literally anything related to the Earth as Naoko Takeuchi wrote of it.

I was also low-key upset about how 90s was treating Mamo and Usagi, so I ironically made her the senshi that defends the love of Serenity and Endymion and protects their happiness lol.

Thinking about her more seriously as I am now deeply attached to Sailor Moon, I have a working summary of how I imagine her.

I explored her various designs for the series back in Summer 2023 (again after finishing the manga) 

More recently, I've been brainstorming how to more efficiently include her in the Sailor Moon story. I've been doing light research on Mythology, becoming more familiar with Astrology and crystals. I was honestly struggling quite a bit when it became clear that Earth is almost excluded from Astrology. That is, it's not treated in the same respect as Mercury or Neptune etc. are. 

I also knew that I didn't want to make her a Princess, that would be like replacing Endymion as the heir to the planet. And I was not about to make her the child of NQ Serenity and King Endymion. So I thought I might make her somewhat like Chibi Moon. If there can be two Sailor Moon senshi, then I say, why not two Earth guardians? Then I noticed that Pink Moon is actually the term for April's full moon. So I thought I could do something with that to make my Sailor Earth stand out (since it is obviously a very unoriginal idea in the first place) but I have yet to find a similar thing for Earth. 

Basically Earth is much less interesting than literally any other heavenly body to astronomers and astrologists so I'm working with very little lol. 

Anyway, I decided she'd be an Elysion Priestess and that she was given the powers of a Sailor Senshi to protect the Earth and her prince. She goes to the surface and attends Rei’s school, T.A girls academy. 

More recently, I was watching Eternal for like the 1 millionth time and it has always bugged me that the 2 Maenads look like they are from the Moon.

They look more like Queen Serenity than someone from Earth.

So, no offense to Takeuchi my girl, but imma change that. Because unfortunately I feel like things from Silver Millenium like the Twin bun hair on these two overlap too much with what should be unique to Earth. (But that is a blog for another day, so I digress) The two Maenads are now Gaia and Terra. Gaia becomes Sailor Earth and goes to the surface as Hoseki Jinsei and her Lavender Earth Crystal forms.

See these two? One of ‘em is Gaia.

Also, since it is already shameless enough to make a Sailor Earth self insert, I'm inserting my late cat Flash and his name is Apollo because Moon kitties are from Mau therefore any planet can have one not just Moon senshi. But also cuz I miss the hell out of him and I can't look at Artemis without thinking about him.

As of right now, this is the general concept of my Sailor Earth:

Name: Gaia

Gender: female

Civilian Name: Hoseki Jinsei

Senshi name: Sailor Earth

Sailor Crystal: Lavender Earth Crystal

Family: Terra (sister?/mother?) Helios (brother)

Occupation: Elysion Priestess

Partner: Apollo (white kitty with heterochromia from Mau, Artemis' twin brother)

Again, thank you so much for giving me the chance to info dump :3

[thatinsufferablenerd]

Post Spooky Update

The weather is slowly cooling off here finally. Spooky Season is over and another year has gone by without reading any scary books or movies like I say I’m gonna do every year. I’ve been enjoying all the festive content in my different social media feeds instead. Horror book recs from BookTube, video essays that analyze aspects of the horror genre, discussions of films or anime that set the mood. I probably should be more embarrassed of how much YouTube I watch, but seeing as I’m a housewife with a passion for learning and too many interests to succinctly sum up, I’m not going to lose too much sleep over it. 

I wish I did have some mood appropriate reads to tell you about. I love books, I love storytelling, I love getting lost in a good book, but my ability to actually get into–let alone through–books has atrophied so much I’ve concluded it’s a Me ProblemTM. When I was young, in elementary and middle school, I could read a book a day. I DID for a long time, exchanging the one I just finished for something new during lunch. And then I got older. I got into movies and writing, I had a job, then I had longer hours, then I had kids that I stayed home with. The library was too far to walk to, we didn’t have money to buy books, and I was too tired to read them anyway. It was easier to focus on honing my craft of writing because it was simpler to hit the backspace button when a toddler smacked my keyboard than risk a library book.

And I regret that. The act of consuming story and pure, distilled joy I get from them is a core part of who I am. If I didn’t love reading, I would never have developed a love for writing. If I didn’t love the stories and characters I read in books, I would never have discovered the love I have for analyzing and discussing them. I would never have learned about the relationship between literature and culture, that I love learning about historical context, the art of interpretation, or linguistics, things like that. Ever since I stopped reading piles of books or trade paperbacks of comics from the library, I’ve said to myself every few months “I miss reading”, “I want to get back into reading”. 

It’s not like I haven’t read anything since I was nineteen. Of course I have. I read all five books in the A Song of Ice and Fire series in the span of a year. I read monthly releases of DC comics for years, picked up pulpy romance novels ‘just as a palate cleanser!’, I tried starting book clubs with friends, promises of ‘I won’t buy or borrow any books until I read the ones I have’. And then I’d get through a few chapters of whatever I picked up only to put it down for the last time. I’ve made some progress! I read A Song of Achilles and Circe by Madelline Miller, Skyward by Brandon Sanderson, I accidentally read the sequel to Abraham Lincoln: Vampire Hunter? In the last year. And I’ve gotten further in a lot of the books I’ve picked up than before. I’ve been reading manga more than anything the last few years. My Hero Academia, Spy x Family, My Dress-up Darling, Dungeon Meshi, Demon Slayer, One Piece, all stories I’ve enjoyed and have a lot to say about! I re-read the last six volumes of Demon Slayer a few weeks ago and wrote an entire comment section dissertation about it, the latest installment in a series that serves as the quiet void I shout into.

The first step for me was probably accepting that I’m never going to be able to read like I did in middle school. That’s okay, right? I might not have a JOB, but I am a grown-up with grown-up things to do. And it’s not like I’ve been sitting on my ass the whole time. I’ve learned so much, like how to actually form opinions, how to interpret text, how to analyze properly, how to do research, how to really write, among so many other things. Things I had to teach myself. I know, they say ‘the best writers are also prolific readers’. I believe that, I really do. I would never claim that I’m some genius writer and better than people who have gone to school for this or are so well-read that it improves their prose by default. What I am saying is that…I want to get there. I miss reading. 

So, I set a small goal for myself. There are so many books out there that I want to read. And sure, my little local library has a limited catalog, and Libby has at least two weeks’ waits on everything, and I can’t afford to buy books brand new, but we can only work with what we have, not what we don’t. I’ve decided to read one contemporary book, one classic, and one (ish) manga a month. Sure, there are going to be some blurred lines here, but I think we’re all mature enough to handle that. I’m going to define ‘classics’ as anything more than a century old. Slaughterhouse Five is newer than that but it is taught as a classic and on my TBR, so maybe it will count as a classic for that month. Who knows? We’ll cross that bridge when we get to it. And if the manga is long, say, more than three hundred chapters, then I might split it into two months. 

With that being said, my picks for November are: A Hero of France by Alan Furst, Tolkien’s translation of Beowulf, and for the manga, Bleach.

My local library had a book sale recently. I bought a hundred and thirty books for eighty-five dollars in two trips. Not all of them are novels! I’m very proud of the memoirs and other non-fiction books I got. But that should keep me occupied for a good while yet. Not to mention the books I already have. That Furst novel is one of the ones I picked up last year at the book sale. It’s historical fiction about an agent in the French Resistance. I like historical fiction, I think it’s a versatile genre for both readers and writers. I read about half of a book called Lion’s Blood that was alternate US History last year that I’m gonna have to go back to because I STILL think about it. Anyway, that Furst novel. I’m about halfway through and I’m going to finish it. I’m invested enough to see it through, and I’m enjoying the experience. When I finish it and have had some time to collect my thoughts, you’ll be hearing them. 

While at that book sale, my almost nine-year-old became infatuated with a book. He liked the cover and title so much that he wanted me to buy it for him. I told him, “Buddy, this book would be a tough read for a grown-up.” He said he would figure it out, that he would ask for help when he needed it. The book was a dollar, so I bought it. I can’t say I’ve ever read Clive Cussler, but if I can help him understand it, I can be persuaded to read dry historical fiction. I know enough about WWII to explain what’s going on to him. It’s not on my list to get done by the end of November, but it is a high priority read. 

I picked Beowulf (and this translation) specifically because A) I know how influential Beowulf is on western storytelling, B) I’m a fan of Tolkien as a writer as well as his love of and gift for languages, C) I watched Monstrum’s episode on Grendel’s Mother and the Cardinal West YouTube documentary on Tolkien in the last few months, both of which I enjoyed a lot, and finally D) I’m a fan of Dr. Chase from The Best of Fantasy. My friend was kind enough to surprise me with a shiny new copy. It’s probably going to be a difficult read for me. I plan on taking notes and going slow to really digest it. I’m also trying to talk my mom into a buddy read, but we’ll see how the cookie actually crumbles with that one. 

Now, for how I landed on Bleach. I watched the entirety of Naruto and Shippuden (yes, even the filler) back in 2020, 2021, and then binged One Piece in 2023 into the early part of this year. So, of course, the insufferable nerd in me said ‘I want to be able to say I’ve seen the Big Three’. So I watched the anime. I wasn’t that impressed with it. Yes, certain characters stayed in my brain, yes I LOVE the Thousand Year Blood War (I’m currently behind), but it didn’t really hit me like Naruto and One Piece did. I thought the passion of the fandom might get me more into it. I tried art, lore videos, discussion, analysis, and that did help! But Bleach just…kinda fell by the wayside for me. A lot of fans say the anime isn’t as good as the manga, but it’s a long series. I didn’t have the time or energy to commit, especially when I had other series I was actually into to follow. I do follow One Piece, Spy x Family, and My Dress-up Darling on release. I followed MHA for more than three years week to week, only binging the last hundred or so chapters last month after its conclusion. 

And then AJ dropped his video titled ‘The Hollow Melancholy of Bleach’. It brings up some of the feelings I had watching the Fullbringer Arc and the Thousand Year Blood War and expresses something the anime just…didn’t capture for me. But that video and Geoff Thew from Mother’s Basement’s video on Bleach finally sold me. It took me a couple weeks, according to the notes I’ve been taking I started on October fourteenth. 

The manga is fantastic. I tried for thirty chapters a day and haven’t been as consistent as I’d like, but I’m in the two-sixties now. The art is beautiful, the character writing is great, the fights are intense, the vibes immaculate and the emotions are SO deep, so complex and resonant. I am so glad I jumped in, and I’m going to continue to take notes as I go. 

Reading isn’t the only thing I do, obviously. My first love will always be writing. I took a bit of a break cough-BookTube-cough, but picking it back up is always a joy. I’ll probably be spending some time in front of my white board in the near future working out some world building details that were not super relevant till now. I watched Jake over at Nerd Level Rising talk to Christopher Ruocchio and was sent into a PANIC over idiolects and regional dialect features, which I’ve been doing all along, just not enough? I guess? I looked everything over and did some light edits, took some notes to make things more consistent. Culture is a complex web, all interconnected and inseparable from the individual parts. Building them is hard work, a job that never seems to end, even if the document of notes is for me, not the hypothetical reader. 

You could say that I was too heavily influenced by long form stories with extended casts, because even though I’m closing in on a hundred and seventy thousand words, I’m in part two of…five? Maybe? In epic fantasy, there are so many moving parts to keep track of at any given moment aside from the nuts and bolts of prose and pacing. I worry all the time that everything I have is trash, and even if it isn’t, it would never get picked up by a trad publisher and I won’t be able to afford self-publishing. I’ve had some other sets of eyes on my prologue as alpha readers. Positive, encouraging feedback that I’m grateful for! It’s not the same thing as having someone who’s familiar with the story, who knows where my head is at, where I’m going. I don’t write to publish, I do it because I love it. But I’ve been writing for twenty years, and actively working to get better at it for fifteen of them. There’s just nothing to show for it. Everything I’ve finished has ended up in an old computer’s recycle bin or in a literal paper shredder, with abandoned works in progress along the way. As terrifying as it is to expose yourself to the light, it’s impossible to soak in the warmth of sunlight in the dark. 

I’m going back to the grindstone when I’m done here. I won’t give up. 

Other than all the YouTube distractions and trying to rightfully earn the title of bibliophile, I’ve been trying to watch shows again. Just a few things. I watched Kaguya-sama: Love is War and loved it, enough to put the manga on my TBR. I finally got around to watching Frieren: Beyond Journey’s End with the same result. I watched Dungeon Meshi twice, read the manga front to back. What a story! I’ve been meaning to write an essay on it, but I can’t imagine having anything to say that hasn’t already been said. I watched Mob Psycho 100 and can’t express enough how much it resonated with me. For the first time, I watched Over the Garden Wall. The kerfluffle on Twitter over it being removed and restored to Hulu recently had me digging that up. Quality Culture did a great essay on that series last year which I highly recommend. My friends have been obsessed with the new Interview With the Vampire series, enough to read the books, so I watched three episodes of season one and liked it a lot. I’ll get around to it. I watched Steven Universe: Future, which I’ve been wanting to for a while. We watched the main series with our kids and enjoyed it, and I thought the sequel series built on the themes and story well.

And like everyone else in the anime community right now, I’m watching Dandadan. It’s GREAT. The animation, the sound design and OST, the character writing, the action, all of it is just stunning. It’s funny and got a lot of heart to it. Momo and Okarun are so cute. I haven’t watched the new set of episodes in the Thousand Year Blood War yet, but I’ll catch up in the next week or so. I’ve been impressed with this adaptation, especially with the old series not really pulling me in until its final episodes. Not only is it visually enrapturing, it really hits on the atmosphere and emotions; not just in service to the story but truly elevates the material. 

With all the things I take in, it’s probably no surprise that there’s no less than five trains of thought going on at any given time. That video Tale Foundry did last week about Weird Tales and pulp fantasy, and this comment arguing that the fanfic community has stepped in to fill that niche? Yeah, I’m still thinking about it. Zoe Bee’s most recent drop about how metaphor influences the way we think and how that relates to politics? Of course I’m thinking about it! Not just about how it affects rhetoric but how it affects diction in prose, which is more my wheelhouse. Princess Weekes’ follow up to her ‘Tall, Dark and Racially Ambiguous’ essay surrounding casting Heathcliff gave me food for thought, and Jess of the Shire’s fantastic essay ‘Monstrosity & the Vampire’ did too. Tim over at Hello Future Me did a video about ‘Arcology: The City in the Image of Man’ and I’m still chewing on that one too. How could I not? The ideas presented there are FASCINATING, big picture questions about structuring society and the growing subgenre of solarpunk. Broey Deschanel and Final Girl Studios both doing amazing videos on The Substance? Of course I’m over here thinking about them! Final Girl Studios’ essay is called ‘The Simulacrum of Feminine Performance’, how could I not sit here and think about that, and what that is, and what that means?? And on top of all that, I opted into a DnD one shot in a couple weeks! Gonna need a character for that, one that’s PG…man, I’ve been busy! 

[darkcloud-kcalifornia]

We’re apparently ending this volume of 100 Girlfriends with another girlfriend. This one is Uto, a wandering bard, in search of whatever meaning may come her way. Or more accurately, this girl is a middle school chuuni who likes to pretend she’s a wandering bard, despite the lack of wandering. Or musical talent. Really just one of those know-nothing-know-it-all’s who loves spouting a bunch of fauxlosophical nonsense. But to her credit she tries, actually can be somewhat observant, and despite her delusions of bard-hood being stronger than a Fflam’s she’s not the craziest of the bunch and can give the occasional sensible answer.

...I'mma call her Spoony. I mean, her name ain't hard to remember, and I actually know the bare minimum of Japanese to have an idea of what the pun of her name is supposed to be this time around. But come on, this girl spoony.

Anyway, Spoony's intro to the Family was pretending to have answers to whatever questions might be asked. Some of her responses were complete hogwash, others were surprisingly sensible. I actually liked her answer about Kurumi’s question about what Kurumi’s favorite food is, as that’s actually my opinion on favorites: depends on any number of factors at a given time. As well her answer to Shizuka’s question about what the most interesting book is was actually interestingly argued.

Though I do have to wonder once again if this is a localization change like the Scooby-Doo joke with Kurumi. It'd be ironic for that kind of a rational being given to something the translators felt they had to change as their audience wouldn't get the reference, thus it being believed to be inaccessible.

And finally, funniest moment actually goes to Hahari this time.

Let’s face it, this woman is going to the special hell. Though also funny was the advice to Meme that she could overcome her shyness by practicing nudism.

No, I'm not giving you a screenshot of that imagine spot. You wanna see Meme's imagination causing her to bamf out again then go support the official release and go buy the manga yourself.

[thehomebodydiaries]

homebody diaries .002.

the amount of reading that i’ve been doing lately makes me think of when i first discovered booktube: i learned about all these popular books and i was broke for like a consistent year because i wouldn’t stop buying books, but i only made like $9/hr. even now, with a full-time job that pays me almost twice that much, i still don’t know why that worked out for me. it definitely should not have.

anyway, yesterday was “free comic book day” and a local comic store gave me a bag of like sixteen free comics, and then i turned around and spent $80 on more comics. it also reminded me that i had two comics in my favorite series that i haven’t read yet. so i’ve got volumes 10 and 11 of “saga,” and yesterday i purchased the first volumes of “deadly class” and “something is killing the children,” as well as junji ito’s manga interpretation of mary shelley’s “frankenstein,” and then “old man logan,” which is about an elderly wolverine (whose healing capabilities are faltering) who gets picked up by an old hawkeye. it’s what inspired the movie logan, which is objectively speaking the only good x-men movie (do not come for me, i watched those movies for the first time in release date order like last month ago, and i am lowkey way more into the x-men than i am the rest of the marvel heroes, save for like agents of s.h.i.e.l.d.). i also received a package in the mail containing the fifth book in one of my favorite series: the witchlands series by susan dennard. oh my god, and i started the wayward children series by seanan mcguire and it’s so good. and i’m waiting on two more books in the mail, both for my bookclub.

i am so content with it too. i am doing it because i love reading and it brings me joy. plus, who doesn’t love some easy escapism? same reason i love video games.

speaking of which, i gotta start a farm with some friends. there have been so many updates and i haven’t played the pc version of it in so long. maybe i’ll convince a few of them to let me stream it. that, and palworld. i’m just not sure when i should start streaming; it feels like i have so much left to do, but it also feels like i’m not doing anything at all. so i might have to try streaming for 3-4 hours on my days off, with or without friends. my problem when it comes to streaming is that i’m my own boss, so not following through with a schedule doesn’t really have any consequences. but i really gotta get that started, otherwise i feel like i’ll never get around to it. it certainly would be nice to eventually make some extra money off of it. thought i wanted to be a val streamer, but i shockingly haven’t even really touched the game since i moved into my new place.

izzy and i watched four movies in a day on friday: mr. and mrs. smith, bullet train, baby driver, and everything everywhere all at once. all of them were so good, although everything everywhere all at once was… interesting. like the whole overall message of it is great and everything, like we love old traditional parents learning how to accept the things they can’t control about their child, but like… the buttplugs. wow. what a scene. (and that is all i’ll say on that; if you know, you know.)

i’m working on a linktr.ee with all my currently active and soon-to-be active accounts, which includes tumblr, discord, snapchat, and twitch. i was thinking about making a patreon, but i feel like i should gather an audience before i attempt managing another account. i already hate social media as it is which is why i only have what i have… we’ll see where it goes.

anyway, it was a solid weekend. i’m still tired, but i did drink quite a bit at a party last night and now i’ve got five days of work ahead of me, and my coworkers alone make that exhausting. but i’ve got lots of reading and writing to do to keep myself relaxed in between moments of masking (totally gonna be the name of my autobiography), especially once the new bookclub pick arrives. i’ll try not to be too miserable by tuesday.

[intravention]

I went on another manga shopping trip.

I got the art collection book! Another volume might release in the uncertain future with more updated art, as this one is from 2016... hopefully it'll have more museum collab works featured, and more character design sketches.

Since I was going to buy the one book for BSD anyways, I ended up ordering a bunch of other stuff to make the shipping more justifiable.

I got manga special editions for Frieren volumes 7-11 (didn't get special edition volume 6 because I have no use for the 2022 calendar bonus), Blue Period volume 11 (special edition volume 8 was sold out by the time I was making the purchase) and Toilet Bound Hanako-kun volume 20. Picked up the novel adaptation for Twisted Wonderland Episode/Book 2 while I was at it. I've heard high praises about the novelization, so I'm really looking forward to reading it!

I like collecting special edition manga bonuses, if it wasn't already obvious.

The Frieren pins are pretty colorful! I'll try to fit them on my itabag if I have space.

[zombieweek-g]

Future Plans

Making this my pinned to update as I finish stuff. Since most of my followers got here through my don TL they may not know that I was actually just a manga translator prior to it, and that's what basically all my projects going forward are gonna be.

Also a reminder that if you don't wanna see reblogs about transgender sex you can jsut follow my wordpress blog instead!

Sorting in order of priority, so the stuff I'm focusing on immediately is at the top and future projects at the bottom:

Madan Senki Ryukendo:

This one is absolute #1 on my priority list, since it's a collaborative project with bereke, this one's gonna come out on their site exclusively, so I won't be posting about it on here.

Ultraman Nexus Manga:

Sorta tied as priority #1, and should be out pretty quickly once I finish up with ryukendo, unless ive completely forgotten how to do scantalation. chapter 1&2 are already out on mangadex! (follow the group link on the chapters to see the other stuff I've tled on there too)

Ultraman Geed: Another Gene:

Someone kindly sent me the raws for this back in december! So once nexus is wrapped up I'll be moving on to this Geed side story. It's only 1 chapter so it'll be a very one and done sort of thing once I get to it.

Darkness Heels -Lili-:

Lili is sorta in publication limbo at this point, I've actually subbed everything that's out atm except for the bonus chapter in volume 2, which I'm holding off on for 2 reasons- 1: I don't want to release volume exclusive content and risk potentially harming the sales of said volume when the author has confirmed that the series future depends on it. If you've read lili and enjoyed it please buy the physical releases! 2: I don't actually even have a scanner so there's no way for me to even get the chapter short of taking photos with my phone, which would obv be super low quality. If there's eventually a confirmation of cancellation or further publication I'll probably just bite the bullet and use the phone pics, but if anyone happens to have scans and wants to send them my way I'd appreciate it!

Kamen Rider Kaixa Manga:

Surprise! I actually stared working on this last year in like, june. I'd planned originally to have ch1 out for 913 day but don kinda just took all my time. That said with what I have left to do before this it might still manage to release on 913 day. Also there's only the first 3 chapters available scanned online, so this is just gonna be them unless I can find further raws available somewhere.

That's It!

I don't have anything planned beyond these projects, so if I get to the end of this and haven't found something else to work on I'll probably end up just picking up ohger again (assuming it doesn't turn out to be awful anyway).

Or idk, maybe ill just go back to translating doujins at the end of it all.

[animehouse-moe]

Buying Manga In Canada

So, any Canadian knows the woes of not having a RightStufAnime up here, or a Kinokuniya or any real specialty animanga stores (unless you live in a major metropolitan area). We also know that Indigo has currently been out of commission online for nearing a week at this point (and has a whole host of other issues currently), and that even then it's hit and miss for orders shipping on time, not having damaged items, and any number of other thing. And Amazon, well it's Amazon. Sure it'll get there in 2 days, but in one piece is an entirely other conversation.

So what can we do? Where we can we shop?

Quite a few places, it turns out. Though each with a caveat.

I'll be blunt. For pre-ordered items, you're not going to beat Indigo or Amazon for delivery. If you have a store near you there's no concerns, but for people ordering predominantly online you'll most likely be stuck with a bigger retailer if you want your items in a (typically) timely fashion.

Anyways, let's get started, what are our alternatives?

The C&L Internet Club

The C&L Internet Club, also referred to as The CNL, is an online retail website for a warehouse located in Burnaby, BC. They sell a whole lot of stuff, including DVDs and Blu-Rays. Anyways, to the point, Manga. It's good, they have pretty common sales that align overall with sale periods (so just don't expect sales outside of regular windows). The shipping time frame is pretty solid, packaging is well done and they process very quick. The only thing is that they might not carry that niche title you're looking to get into.

Where The CNL makes up for that though is in two areas. The first is free shipping no matter the order size. Sure, it might mean you end up with a dozen packages because they split it up into lettermail, but it means free shipping anywhere in Canada. It's a pretty great deal. The second aspect though is rare stuff. I just recently purchased about half of the total volumes currently printed for D-Frag! through them. The latter half mostly, but still, they had quite a few volumes that are OOS with other retailers, and even had crazy stuff like the last 5 volumes of Sayonara, Zetsubou-Sensei.

So at the end of the day, they might not have as much stock as the bigger retailers, but free shipping regardless, fast processing times, good packaging, and (from personal experience) great customer service, it's pretty easy to recommend for in stock orders at retail price.

The Beguiling

The Beguiling (subtitled Books & Art) is a comic and manga bookstore in the heart of Toronto, Ontario. They're a relatively small store for sure, so pre-orders and great shipping times aren't a guarantee, but this is another retailer I've bought from (both in store and online). I haven't paid enough attention to see if The Beguiling does any sales, but their retail prices are pretty reasonable. They follow The CNL pretty well in most areas but are just a smaller retailer overall so things can be a bit slower. One thing they're behind on is available stock. It's a small location so they don't have a lot of space for lots of extra volumes, so some orders might take longer.

The Beguiling makes up for it in an interesting and one-of-a-kind manner though: range. The Beguiling could also have some rarities like The CNL, but this is in a different fashion. This bookstore is one of two bookstores in all of Canada that carry Glacier Bay Book titles. Alongside that, they have a lot of other unique publishers, another example being Hollow Press. And if that wasn't enough, they've got plenty of interesting and uncommon art books, old ones too. I got my Yoshitoshi art book via The Beguiling.

If you're going for an "in stock" order, I'd probably sooner pick The CNL, but that's because I have more experience with them. The packaging, customer service, and overall experience with The Beguiling is really solid for sure, and for orders over 100CAD it's free shipping (unlike The CNL which has no minimum), anything under it though they cite a 9 dollar charge for it, so there's no need for expensive orders.

Imaginaire

Imaginaire is the start of the retailers that I haven't purchased from. It's a Quebec based retailer with several locations, and has a bit of an interesting side to it. There's free shipping, but at several tiers. Ontario, Quebec, and New Brunswick see free shipping at over 59CAD, while other areas see it over 119, though paid shipping is pretty reasonable as it's as cheap as 8CAD.

Imaginaire is somewhat similar to The CNL in that it carries much more than just manga, but it's also similar to The Beguiling because it does not carry a great amount of stock. Instead, there are items you have to "special order", which essentially means extra processing time before they can be shipped. Overall, I'd say it's the most limiting of the list currently, its catalogue is rather narrow overall despite carrying both French and English titles.

I think if there's something you're looking for, and you're really far from BC Imaginaire probably isn't too bad, but it doesn't have a lot of the volume that the prior two have in terms of offering. Really, this is an online retailer for French, and by extension French Special Editions. If you collect them, this is one of the few alternatives to Indigo for fancy French stuff.

OtakuLounge

OtakuLounge is probably the most interesting on the list because it's effectively a Manga Cafe, located in Montreal, Quebec. It's got a massive library of French manga, a good amount of English, and even some Japanese volumes available to read.

Their catalogue is better than Imaginaire, but they have quite a few items that aren't sold online, making for a bit of a back and forth game on figuring out what you can and can't order online. In addition to that, OtakuLounge has no information that indicates that there is a free shipping minimum, and shipping costs start at 8CAD, and increase for a dollar with each volume. With all of that, it's even less likely to be a hit for online purchases, but the very idea of it is interesting enough to warrant attention.

In opposition though, their French Catalogue is fairly massive, and they seem to have more French Collectors editions. Though again, both retailers are somewhat hit or miss for older titles. In stock ones they're both fine, so Imaginaire has the edge due to free shipping.

Other Options

Manga Canada - Low stocked, but free shipping at 79CAD Bookoutlet - Almost zero stock, but free shipping and great prices BookDepository - Owned by Amazon, free shipping and sometimes good prices (use VPN and access from UK for best prices) And probably a few others, but a lot operate as brick & Mortar only.

At the end of the day, do we have a RightStuf or Kinokuniya in Canada? No.

But, there are options.

Personally, I would recommend The CNL or The Beguiling pretty strongly, depending on what it might be that you're after. Outside of that, the other retailers are conditional and specific to your personal circumstances and preferences. It's not an amazing solution, but it's certainly better than putting up with the constant issues and headaches of Indigo and Amazon.

[eyedelater]

hi! just wanted to say i love reading your gk analysis posts. im really bad at analysis personally so they really help me! plus it's nice to have info all organized in one place like your tsukikoi flavored posts :-)

just wondering, where do you access the jp manga raws? there are some lines i'm curious about looking at the original text of myself but can't seem to find the raws

thank you so much! personally, i can't understand my own thoughts and feelings about works of fiction without writing them out into grammatically correct prose and then editing them 500 times. i'm very happy if at least 1 other person enjoys reading them afterward.

as for the second part, a couple things:

first of all, if you want, you can let me know about any lines you're curious about and i'll go get them for you.

but anyway, to actually get the raws, if you go here:

and click on any volume you want and then scroll down and click the second box that says デジタル and then scroll down further and it'll show you a list of a million vendors from which you can buy that ebook. the easiest one might be amazon.co.jp, but you'll have to make a separate account, because an amazon.com account won't work.

i was reading the official VIZ translation of GK through their website, which charges you $3 a month to read up to 100 translated manga chapters a day, which is insane if you consider that buying one volume of a manga is like $13 for like 10 chapters. so you could read like 3000 chapters a month if you're a maniac. but i haven't been able to find any similar deal for the manga in japanese, which is what i had been hoping for... though it seems the ebooks in japanese are more like 570 yen per volume, which is closer to $4.50, which is a lot less than $13.

and if you happen to, for example, not that i would know, have trouble figuring out how to get a japanese ebook seller to accept your american credit card... there is another option that i'll tell you about if you DM me.

i'm not aware of the raws in their entirety, volume version, being posted browsable on any manga websites; only bits and pieces of the magazine version. i'm reluctant to link directly anywhere lest it increase the odds of it getting taken down.

[benkyoutobentou]

31 Days of Productivity Reading: Day twenty two

Before: I think I might want to spend some time studying at the library today. I have another hold coming in soon (this timing is fantastic...) but whether or not it'll be in today is anyone's guess. I was debating walking there again, but I might want to take an evening hike, so I'll just drive. Plus, it cuts out like an hour from my trip.

I also plan on starting 憎らしい彼 today! Recently, a bunch of people I follow on instagram were reading 愛しのニコール which is by the same author, and although I don't have that book and am not planning on buying more books any time soon, I figured that I can at least feel like I'm somewhat included by finally continuing on with the 美しい彼 series. All things considered, though, it really hasn't been that long since I read the first book. I mean, it took me a year after reading volume four of ３月のライオン to get to volume five. That's just how I am. And also why I tend to avoid series in my English reading.

One more thing while I'm thinking of it! It relates to almost nothing but I've been thinking about it a lot lately. I saw someone mention recently how there's been a shift in the typesetting of manga, since more and more people are reading manga on their phones and other (smaller) devices. I definitely noticed this when reading ベルばら and especially since I read it right after reading 光が死んだ夏 but the text is sooo much smaller in older manga! ひかなつ is for sure published online and the text is huge compared to ベルばら. When I was reading it, I pulled it out during the musical to read and immediately put it back in my bag because I just could not read the little font in the dim lighting. Reading something like that on a phone? No thanks. I don't know, this was useless but I've been thinking about how smartphones and the internet have changed even the manga publishing world.

After: I didn't end up going to the library today for a number of reasons. I was a little on the fence to start with, and then when I finally decided to go, I had to walk my dog before going because she's such a talented beggar and I'm weak. We ended up taking an hour long walk and when we got back, I just felt that it was too late to go out and study. Instead of going to the library, I started 憎らしい彼 today! I read the prologue chapter and also discovered that, excluding the prologue and epilogue, there are two chapters in this book. Not to be dramatic, but that should be illegal. Regardless, it feels nice to get back into this series. I really like Nagira Sensei's writing style and I can't help it, I love my toxic gays.

I also realized that I probably won't be able to finish this book by the end of the month, so I think I'll adjust my goal to reading half of it. I still think I can read six more volumes of manga, though.

Anyways, I read seventeen pages today over an hour and fourteen minutes for an average reading pace of 3.8 minutes per page. I really would like to read some more before bed, but between my bed and the clock, it's not looking super likely.

[catboybatman]

people are really acting like the progressiveness in comics is what is bringing the sales down i cant- have yall considered that maybe possibly perhaps that big western comic corporations are A: making it shit hard to actually buy comics especially for countries that are not the states so pirating is just easier and cheaper and B: have way too much alternate universes and intervowen plotlines with completely different characters and stories making it hard to follow and thus making it hard for beginners to get into and C: have shitty adaptations (which get people in to comics) that suck and/or dont follow the source material and are just quickly cranked out media for the masses or also suffer from point B.

there is a reason anime and manga having been doing so well lately. its easier to follow and get into. if i see a manga i might like i pick up #1 and continue from there. if i watch/read my hero academia i know the characters will be from my hero. there wont be a random character from another manga/anime that i am expected to know. if i read a detective manga i know its going to be a detective manga and not a manga about someone who happens to have the nickname of greatest detective being a vigilante dressed as a bat.

if i see a comic i might like i have to figure out what is happening first. i wont fully understand Batman: Hush without knowing about jasons death or all the characters relationships. if i want to pick up a series i need to figure out where to start and what comics to read before that so i understand what is going on. if i like 1 specific character (especially smaller ones) im going to have to read whole series where they appear in 10 of 40 volumes just to get some content. its exhausting, annoying and confusing. its hassle and since most western comics are mediocre its also just not worth it.

anyway in short my theory on why comics are dying and manga/anime are thriving is because comics are all in complicated extended and connected universes while manga and anime are stand-alone universes containing one (1) story. (ofc there are manga that have crossovers and extended universes but there is a reason these arent very popular or au's/"blacklabels"/not canon) this also has to do with how western comics are mainly handled by big corporations rather than independant writers/artist working under a publisher

[happybird16]

Transplant

Levi Ackerman / Reader

Warnings: Grief, fluff, not much else

Summary: Change isn’t always a bad thing.

This is sort of a modern companion piece to Beloved Mother. (Plug Plug) 🤣

Thank you so much to my beloved beta @theferricfox 💕💕

Word count: 6.9k

Ao3 Link

Note: Yes, I like flowers. Also, you might want some tissues?

The metal step stool creaks in protest beneath you, whining and metallic, as you stretch to reach the next box. The cardboard is rough against your fingers, the papery material stiff and sturdy as you pull it forward on the overhead shelf. With a strained grunt, you pull the heavy box down, quickly descending the steps to plop it onto the carpet below with a thud.

���You okay?” Levi calls over his shoulder from the other side of the small closet. “We can switch jobs if you want?”

“I’m fine, Mr. Muscles,” you reply with a huff, crouching down to open the package. “Most of this stuff is mine anyways.”

The hangers clack, loud and plastic, against one another as he works his way through the top row. The bottom, much more easy to reach, metal beam is already bare, forcing him to finally bite the bullet and start the upper half. Socked toes curled into the carpet, Levi has to stretch up onto his tiptoes to reach the higher rack.

“Are you sure you don’t want to switch?” you tease, watching his back stretch as he raises his arm high above his head. “That looks a little difficult.”

“Fuck you, you’re not much taller than me.” Pulling another hanger from the row, he asks, “What about this one? I don’t think I’ve ever seen you wear it.”

Turning away from peeling open the box, your eyes almost burn at the sight. “Ew!” It’s an absolutely hideous ruffled zebra striped shirt, something an old lady would wear to church and think is ‘fashionable’. “When did I ever buy that? No. Donate.”

With a grunt, Levi throws the article to the quickly growing pile to his left. To his right is a much larger box, the bottom barely filled with clothes you're keeping, a mix of his and yours, still on their hangers. Once everything’s sorted they’ll be neatly folded, the hangers placed in a separate box.

The two of you definitely have way too many shirts. Even though your new place's closet is bigger, this was definitely needed.

“These are my books,” you note, finally pulling open the corners that had been folding the box closed. You hadn’t even bothered taping most of your stuff up when you’d put them into storage, probably a stupid move at the time but something you’re grateful for now.

“We’ll have enough space now that you can actually get a bookshelf,” Levi points out, wordlessly adding several shirts you wear often to the right pile.

“That’ll be nice,” you note excitedly. “I probably won’t keep all of these though.”

Shuffling through the box, you note just how terrible your taste in literature used to be. Some of this stuff has to be from middle school at least, trashy garbage romance books and well worn horror novels. The mangas are definitely a keep though, maybe some of the more tasteful romance books. Hmm…

Pulling what turns out to be most of the volumes, a mix of hard and soft back, free from the cardboard, you add them to your own donation pile. “These ones are definitely going.”

Eying the stack, Levi snarks, “I’m not sure anyone’s even going to want to buy Twilight. Even at a discount.”

“That’s fair,” you agree, pushing the mostly empty box into your keep pile, right next to several boxes of holiday decorations. “We should definitely remember to label these before we leave.”

“I’ll try to find a Sharpie once we’re done here.” Holding up a cute dark green dress, Levi asks, “What about this one?”

“Keep, definitely.” It even has a neat little brown belt to tie around your waist. You’ll have to remember to wear it sometime soon, you can’t remember the last time you did. Maybe on your next date.

Ascending the small step stool again, you grab the next box off the shelf. It’s a bit older, the cardboard a bit lighter and more feathery under your fingers. “I think this one’s yours.”

“Probably all trash,” Levi confirms distractedly, holding up an old shirt in front of himself to access it. It’s a well-worn band shirt, one you’ve never seen him wear, but it must have gotten some love at some point judging by how faded the design on it is. Miraculously, it ends up being a keeper.

“They're yearbooks!” You note excitedly, quickly shifting through the stack to find one from his high school years. Sliding out one with ‘06 embossed on the side, you grin wolfishly at your husband. “Ooh I get to see you all pimple-faced and lanky.”

“As if. My acne was never that bad.” Levi says, pulling an entire armful of his countless button-up shirts to fill the entirety of the keep box.

“Lucky.” If only your skin had remained clear throughout all that stress and drama. Paging through the laminated paper, you quickly find one with your husband on it front and center. There he is, stuck mid-air in a high jump, his hair a flying mess, his face twisted up in anger. One hand raised high above his head, the shot catches him just shy of making contact with the ball. “Ooh you were on the volleyball team?”

Pulling out a new box for the keep pile, Levi starts thoughtlessly, “For two years, I was a spiker -hey don’t flip through it! We still have so much to do after this!”

“But you look so cute!” you exclaim, pointing at the small square photo of his 10th grade yearbook photo. Drowning in all black, the scowl he has in it is almost identical to the one he’s giving you now. “You really have had that same haircut forever.”

Rolling his eyes, Levi decides, “We’re making a new pile, those are going in the garbage.”

“Not happening,” you chime, adding the stack to your mostly empty box of books. “They’re going on my new bookshelf too!”

Levi grunts, throwing another one of his old shirts into the donation pile. “Of course they are. I’m sure our friends will love to see them,” he grumbles.

“Hange will, at least,” you agree, shaking your head at the next shirt Levi holds up. There’s no doubt in your mind that the wild brunette won’t tease Levi endlessly with the new ammunition. Levi didn’t look too different in high school, but you're willing to bet both middle school and elementary would be a different story. If it weren’t for your husband's urgency, you’d be bouncing on your feet, eager to take a look right now. “Erwin knew you back then, right?”

“Mhmm,” Levi nods, “since middle school. If Kenny and Uri didn’t move to a nicer district, Eyebrows and I would probably never have met.” Holding up a shirt from an old favorite anime of yours, Levi works his finger through a tear in the sleeve, “This one has a hole in it, do you want me to try and fix it?”

“Nah,” you shake your head. New beginnings and at all that, you think, pushing the box of your old tiny Christmas tree to your left. “It was nice of Erwin to lend you his truck for the week. Saves us the money of getting a mover.” You probably could have hauled all of the boxes with several trips in your little SUV, but there’s no way the furniture could have fit. Levi’s Harley wouldn’t have done much to help either.

“Nice,” Levi scoffs with a dramatic sneer. “The thing was fucking filthy.”

“Well it is a truck,” you point out. “He mostly uses it to haul lumber, there’s no need for it to be tidy. Though, I'm sure he’ll appreciate the deep clean you did when we give it back to him.”

“Would have been nice of him to offer to help us carry all this stuff down the stairs, though,” you gripe, looking at the steadily growing stack of boxes on either side of the room. Given that the living room and bathroom are already boxed up too, the stacks piled up around the entryway, there’s going to be quite the trip ahead of you. Some of them are really heavy too. At least you only have to carry them down two stories.

“We don’t have that much shit,” says Levi, watching you pull several boxes from the lower shelves. “We can do it ourselves just fine.”

“Oh, so he offered then,” you state with a knowing smirk. Levi avoids your eyes in response and that’s all the confirmation you need.

Some of your old hobby stuff, probably not particularly useful now, donate. “Are you sad to be moving out?”

After glancing at his watch, Levi starts rapidly pulling hangers from above head. “Why would I be?”

“It was your first apartment!”

“I’ve had many apartments, this was just the first one I had alone,” Levi corrects over his shoulder.

“Still, that was a big step. It must be a bit sad to leave it behind.”

Levi only shrugs in response, pulling a sweater from the high metal pole and immediately throwing it to his left.

“Hey, Hange gifted that to you for Christmas last year!” you chide jokingly, eying the hideous sweater on the top of the pile. Levi’s friend -now yours- always revels in getting your husband the most hideous holiday items they can find, enjoying the dread and disgust on Levi’s face. You still remember the cackle they’d released when he’d opened the carefully wrapped holiday paper to discover two reindeer in a provocative position, displayed in finely woven, brightly colored yarn. “They’re going to be upset you threw it out!”

“They probably assumed I already did.” Not an incorrect statement.

“Ya’ know, for a first solo apartment, you sure lucked out!” you exclaim, pausing in shifting through a box of sewing supplies to watch your husband shuffle around. It’s so cute watching him stretch up onto his tiptoes. “It’s not often you see them with walk-in closets.”

“Luck,” Levi scoffs with a click of his tongue. “The previous places I shared with Erwin and Hange were shit holes. This place isn’t much better.”

“It’s nicer than the place I had before I moved in.” Though some of that may be the result of Levi’s obsessiveness. The little building near your old college had smelled like nothing but weed and mildew, no matter how much air you let in. The neighbors were much more obnoxious too, given the university nearby. “You hated the place, remember? The rent is even cheaper here!”

“I’m pretty sure the landlord is up to some shady shit,” Levi huffs, tilting a bright pink blouse towards you. “This place is probably just some money laundering scam.”

Nodding your head at the shirt, you laugh in response, “Money laundering? That sweet old man?” You highly doubt Mr. Pixis is up to anything untoward, other than spending too much time day drinking in gay bars.

“Sweet as a lemon,” Levi snarks with a roll of his eyes. “Plus, you know he was always shit at responding to repair calls.”

“That’s because he’s usually drunk,” you point out. “Well, I know I’ll miss it. I wasn’t here nearly as long as you, but we sure made some memories here,” you note, eyes sliding to the open doorway. In your soon-to-be-no-longer bedroom, there’s now just emptiness. The mattress and bed frame were the first things to go. It creates a sense of urgency, according to your husband.

Right behind that had followed the rest of your bedroom, both of your dressers emptied and sorted through before the sun had even risen above the horizon. The large wooden pieces of furniture themselves had been hauled over in the truck alongside the first set of boxes.

The emptiness both adds to your sorrow and builds your excitement. Moving is always an absolute pain, but not this time.

Levi grunts in response, “There’ll be new ones.”

“I still can’t believe we bought a house. A HOUSE!” you exclaim, happily bouncing in place on the carpet. You were probably a bit too loud, given that the neighbor above almost immediately slams on the floor.

Smirking at your abashed look, Levi snarks, “As if ruining our backs last night, sleeping on the bare living room floor wasn’t enough for that to set in.”

“The sale went through! We’d just gotten keys! I was excited! Besides, you agreed to it!” Still elated, it’s difficult to keep your tone hushed. The words end up more of a stage whisper. “It’s not like you didn’t spend all of yesterday scrubbing the place from head to toe.”

Rising from the carpet, you cross the room to press yourself against Levi’s back. Arms wrapping around his waist, your chin digs into his shoulder as you hug him close. In a soft murmur, you explain, “It just doesn’t feel real. We saved for so long… I know you're excited too. I saw you looking at paint colors the last time we were at Walmart.”

The place is perfect too. A cute two story with powder blue siding and big windows, in a nice safe neighborhood right by a school. A nice cookie cutter with 2,500 square feet and a half acre backyard, just for the two of you. Two bedrooms, two baths, complete with a master bedroom and a master bath. Enough space for all your stuff and then some. Room to grow.

There’s so much to be excited about! A big kitchen, complete with marble countertops and a center island. You want to put in one of those fancy overhead pot racks, right above the center island. And it’ll be nice to no longer park on the side of the street, dreading the day someone inevitably swerves and takes out your mirror. You're already reveling in having a nice warm garage to park in during the area’s snowy winters.

It feels a bit like you’ve just gotten married and are finally venturing off to start your lives together.

Against your chest, you can feel that his shoulders are tight. Far worse than its usual stiffness, his back is ramrod straight with tension. Headless of you invading his space, Levi continues to pull shirt after shirt from the rack. “It’s going to be a big change, that’s for sure.”

Trying to poke at his weak points, you goad, “I can’t believe we’re going to have our own washer and dryer. We won’t have to share with 50 families anymore!”

“That’ll be nice,” Levi answers distractedly. Compared to his exuberance when you’d been touring the place, his response is downright placid.

Now, that’s not the correct response. He seems far too tense, something is definitely off and you have a guess.

“Listen,” you start, swaying in the balls of your feet to rock his body from side to side. “I know you don’t like change. I know that you're stressed -I am too- and you want to get everything packed up and moved over today, but we don’t have to. Both of us took all week off to get settled in, we can take our time. It’s just past noon, let’s take a break and go get some boba at the cafe down the street. One last time?”

Finally, he stops working, sliding a hanger back onto the rack with a resigned huff. Levi sighs, leaning back into your embrace with a heavy shudder. “I know. I’m sorry if I’ve been curt-“

“You haven’t been-“

“-but there’s just so much to do still. I just want to get everything settled so we can get home already.”

Home. He’s already calling it home. The words make your breath catch, heart stuttering warm and fast in your chest.

“Okay. I understand,” you murmur calmly, smoothing your fingers across his stomach. You can’t disagree with his sentiment. There’s still so much furniture and yard equipment you’ll need to buy this week, not to mention unpacking. “I love you.”

“I love you too,” Levi murmurs back, squeezing his hand around yours where it rests on his belly. “Let’s get back to work. We still have the kitchen to get to after this.”

Tilting your head back, you let out a dramatic groan. The thought of conquering the kitchen fills you with dread. It’ll be the last step, but probably the most difficult one. The amount of bubble wrap you’d bought was horrifying, and you have no doubt Levi will want to clean every dish and piece of glassware before wrapping them up. Not to mention all the baking equipment. Once you arrive home and start to unpack, he’ll probably want to clean them after too.

You have no idea how you're even going to begin organizing the contents of the fridge.

“Yeah yeah..,” you sigh, feeling Levi shiver as warm breath dusts across his nape. Before pulling away, you press a quick kiss to the fabric at his shoulder.

Plopping back down onto the carpet, you pull the next box in front of you. Some of Levi’s teapot collection, keep. “Do you want to have a housewarming party?”

“That’s an actual thing?”

“Yeah!” The next box is familiar, you don’t even have to open it before setting it aside. It’s your own set of yearbooks, alongside some family photo albums. Maybe you’ll need two bookcases.

“That just sounds like more work,” Levi points out. “Not to mention the mess.” You have no doubt he’s imagining the hurricane Hange always leaves whenever they come over.

“People bring you gifts, I think. That’d be nice.” The box behind the last is ancient, tucked in the furthest corner of the shelf, the cardboard so old that it’s lost most of its color. “This one looks really old, it’s almost falling apart,” you tell him over shoulder. Stretching to pull at the edges and shift it forward, the resulting spray of dust makes you cough.

“I’ll remember to clean up our storage more often,” Levi clicks his tongue, silver eyes worriedly watching you wheeze. “It could be from middle school. I have some old woodshop projects up there somewhere.”

“Woodshop?” you ask, remembering the odd mix of life-skill classes you were required to take when you were little. “What did you make?”

“A stool, I think? Maybe a birdhouse? There’s an old car in there somewhere. I won first place in the race with it. Erwin was devastated,” Levi explains, sounding far too proud.

“Really? So you’ve always been good with your hands?” The innuendo only earns you a stern glare from your husband.

The box is surprisingly light, compared to the rest of the ones in storage. It must be packed tight, though, because there isn’t even a rattle from it when you set it down on the carpet. Opening it, the sight makes you twist your eyebrows up in confusion. “Its… women’s clothing?”

“What?” Confused as you are, Levi quickly sorts the articles in hand and comes over. Looming over your sitting form, he stutters, “Oh -that -that’s my mothers old stuff.”

He plops down hard beside you, as if his knees had been weak, shoulder brushing your own. Pulling a bunch of carefully folded white fabric from the box, it unfurls to reveal itself as a white dress, the neckline decorated with a tight weave of lace flowers.

“Is this all you have left of her?” Levi doesn’t talk about his early childhood that often, only a handful of times over the years you’ve spent together. Having gone with him to visit her grave several times, you know that she died very young just from her gravestone.

Kuchel Ackerman

Beloved Mother

May 20th, 1973 - April 16th, 2003

She hadn’t even been thirty. Having been born on Christmas Day of ‘90, he’d been just shy of becoming a teen when he’d lost her. You wonder if Levi has even realized he’s older now than she’d been when she’d passed.

“Mhmm,” Levi confirms, running his thumb along the fine silk dress. The look on his face is tight, shuddered, but there’s a fondness dwelling deep in his eyes. Voice soft, he whispers, “I forgot I had this stuff.”

“There’s a photo album,” you note, cautiously pulling the thick leather tome from the box. Despite the weathering of the container, everything in it seems clean and as fresh as the day they were placed in here. “Do I get to see you as a baby?”

“Not exactly,” Levi says, picking up a small jewelry box from the far corner. Flicking the lid open, a soft musical sound grinds out from the wooden box, the sound would be a soft twinkle if not for the aged gears. Levi sighs long and hard at the sound, eyes fluttering as his shoulders sag at the familiar tune.

Opening it to the first page, what greets you is far from what you’d expected. You’d thought it’d be full of old Polaroids of Mama Kuchel and baby-Levi, all naked and plump and pink. Instead, the photo-sleeves are full of flowers, carefully dried and pressed for preservation.

“Flowers?” There's hundreds of them, slid into the sleeves of every page. The book seems to be almost full, every page teeming with petals of vibrant colors. Reds and pinks of every tone, vibrant yellows, stark pristine whites, rich blues and purples, all flanked with soft green leaves of varying shades.

She must have learned as she went, because the first few flowers -some daisies and red roses- are roughly pressed. Her technique quickly adapts as the pages pass, the dried petals becoming a beautiful display. Beside every one is the tight, sharp scrawl of Levi’s mother, her handwriting a bit smaller, but nearly identical to his own. She identifies each flower in her neat cursive, complete with a date, right beside its sleeve.

“She liked to garden in her free time,” Levi explains, tugging a pair of tiny pearl earrings from the twinkling jewelry box. He lifts them up, briefly perusing the studs before replacing them within the wood. A small chain follows, thin and fragile looking as it twines around his fingers.

“Didn’t you live in a small apartment on the East Side?” It’s the poorest neighborhood in the area, you know that. The most dangerous too, if the news is anything to go by. They’re constantly discussing shootings on that side of town, or outright thefts. Right outside of the old industrial district, the whole neighborhood is nothing but old brick buildings, still stained with smoke from the long abandoned steel mills.

Levi nods his head, explaining, “There’d been a small empty lot nearby. I think it was supposed to be a community garden, but no one else really used it.”

You hum in response, drinking in a page of beautiful striped lilies, white with pink and orange with purple. “Must have been nice to have it all for herself then.”

“She found it therapeutic, I think. I remember helping her dig holes when I was barely knee high.” Replacing the jewelry box with a quieting snap and lifting a hand, Levi gestures about the correct height off of the ground.

It’s hard to picture, given that you’ve only ever seen one photo of the woman, tucked into your husband's wallet beside your own. She looked like him, you remember, only with a softer face and longer hair. In your mind's eye, you try to craft the image of a little version your husband by her side, small and energetic, his cheeks dusted with dark soil. “You? Digging in dirt? I can’t even imagine you touching a worm.”

“I mostly just helped pull weeds. I actually enjoyed it -it was nice,” Levi says, scooting across the carpet to rest his front against your back. Curling an arm around your waist, he rests his chin on your shoulder. “Mom was always happy and smiling when she was there.”

He describes her so rarely, but when he does she always seems so soft and sweet. “I would have loved to have been able to meet her.”

“She’d have loved you,” Levi breathes with a soft hum, smoothing his fingers across your stomach in a soft beat.

Continuing to leaf through the pages, the sheer variety of flowers within sends you into a state of awe. Some are quite common, something you’d see in any forest nearby, but some you wouldn’t even be able to identify if not for Kuchel’s helpful labels. There’s some repeating, as if perhaps the first plant didn’t make the winter -judging by the dates- so she tried again. Despite being dried over twenty years ago, you can still smell them, a fresh new wave of sweet and natural perfume filling your nose every page turn. “She grew all of these?”

“Not exactly,” Levi states, “some of those were stolen from greenhouses.”

“Stolen?” Your shock must be blatant, because Levi barely manages to hold in a laugh, the sound coming out as an airy snort.

“Mhmm,” Levi confirms with a soft hum. “We’d go on the weekends. She’d pick flowers that she’d liked and tuck them behind her ear to take home. Sometimes she even grew the seeds from them.”

“That’s not stealing! I doubt the owners even noticed or cared.” you justify, leaning back into his chest. You enjoy feeling the soft rise and fall of his chest, the soft rumble of his voice against your back. “It’s disingenuous at best.”

With a fond smile, his eyes distant and the edges crinkled in joy, Levi continues, “It was always a thrill whenever we went. Our secret little heist that we always got away with.”

You can only imagine the adrenaline surging through his little body, the loud peals of laughter once they’d gotten away with their crime. “That sounds like so much fun!” You always loved when your parents did stuff like that. Something harmless, but meaningful. A memory to cherish. “She sounds like a great mom.”

“She was,” Levi fails to hide a sniffle, grey eyes a bit watery. As you turn to the next page, Levi jolts behind you, pointing towards the page. “That one was her favorite.”

It’s a giant, red flower, taking up an entire page all by itself. The trumpet shaped petals, all five of them, surround a long yellowish-peach pistil. “A hibiscus?” you note, reading the little label beside it. “Why?”

“She liked to swipe more tropical looking flowers, imagining that we somehow managed to go somewhere nice. They didn’t always take, most of them couldn’t grow here. That one, though, grew like wildfire. We had to build a little wooden trellis to help it thrive.”

Whenever he speaks of her, Levi always seems so happy. Somber, no doubt, but with a fond smile curving his lips and a bright shine in his eyes. He’s mentioned before that his earlier memories have faded, to his absolute dread, making his time with her spotty at best. You're glad that he at least has these little pieces of her.

“Would it be alright if we displayed these?” you ask, still paging through the thick book. Long stems of lavender greet you about midway through, the scent still fresh and earthy. “We could put some in a picture frame in our new living room, right next to the couch?”

“I’d like that,” Levi hums, silver eyes drinking in the tight scrawl of his mothers handwriting, the dried petals of her hard work. All of his urgency gone, Levi rests heavily against your side, chin tucked tight to your shoulder.

“It’s a shame there isn’t a baby book though…”

“One’s been sitting on the shelf in our room this entire time,” Levi points out, a bit smug that you never noticed.

“What?”

Laughing at your surprise, Levi softly pats your shoulder before rising, “Let’s take a break after we finish up here. We can go get that boba before we start in the kitchen. One last time.”

Living in the suburbs is an adjustment, that’s for sure.

Everything is just so eerily quiet. There’s no neighbors, bouncing around or yelling, right on the other side of your wall. There’s no constant buzz of traffic, of horns and sirens blaring in the distance, only the soft hum of an occasional car passing by. The air even tastes fresher.

All of your routines were immediately ruined. It’s only a forty minute drive from your previous place, but everything was immediately so different. Every place you frequented, all the little mom&pop shops lining the sides of the busy city streets, every beloved take-out place, all now completely out of the way.

It was unsettling to you, at first, but Levi took to it like a duck in water. Spreading himself out to take up the new space, even heading to the nearby park to go on long runs in the mornings before work. You really should get fit and join him, make it a bonding activity. Given that the basement is quickly progressing its way into becoming a home gym, there’s really no excuse not to.

He’s even sleeping better now, out here where nights are nearly silent, save for the occasional buzz of a cricket or drone of a cicada. On the other hand, you almost miss the noise.

It was a revelation just to have so much space, with an actual back yard to boot. You have tentative plans to buy a hammock to put under the tall, flowering tree in your backyard. It would be a nice place to cuddle up together, lounging for hours beneath the white petals, fluttering softly in the breeze. Even though summer is just approaching, you can’t wait for winter, with long nights of sipping hot chocolate cuddling up in front of the fireplace.

On a bright and sunny Saturday afternoon, as you pull into the driveway, Levi is mowing the front lawn in tight, meticulous lines. You should have known that he’d be obsessive with lawn care. It’s been a solid month since you’ve moved in, but the sight never ceases to surprise you. No doubt, the weed wacker will follow, trimming all of the edges to a perfect point.

Given that the warmer months are quickly approaching, the growing heat, alongside the exertion, has him working shirtless, sweat shining bright along his muscle-packed torso as he pushes the noisy mower across the uneven terrain of your front lawn, winding around tree after tree. You hadn’t even realized how much more work a hilly lawn would be, but Levi seems to enjoy the challenge week after week.

Not even bothering with the garage, you park about halfway up the driveway, waving at your husband as he curiously turns off the mower mid-pass. As you exit your little SUV, he quickly approaches, pulling his goofy little earplugs from his ears to wrap the cord around his sweaty neck.

“Levi,” you greet excitedly as he jogs up to your side. “I got you a surprise!”

Pulled forward by a soft clasp on your shoulder, he greets you with a quick kiss. Brows drawn tight in curiosity, Levi’s gaze his firm on your own as he asks, “Didn’t you have plans with Hange? Did they cancel on you again?”

“Come here! Come here!” you wave at him excitedly, ignoring his questioning gaze. Continuing to wave, you lead him around the backside of your car.

As he follows, frowning down at the mud-coated knees of your jeans, the smattering of darkness coating the front of your t-shirt, Levi asks, “Why are you covered in dirt?”

“Don’t mind that- Look!” With a click, you pop open your trunk, the back end swinging high overhead with a loud creak.

“You bought flowers for the garden?” Levi asks, eyeing the collection of plants packed tight into the trunk of your car. There’s so many that the cheap black plastic containers are all right against one another with no space in between.

“The little lot was still abandoned, but everything was still there. It was crazy overgrown with weeds, but I managed to pull these ones from the mess,” you blurt excitedly, the words coming out a bit too fast.

“Wait -what are you talking about?”

“The little trellis was still there by the way,” you continue unheeded. “Though it was mostly just wooden bits.”

“Have you lost your mind? The fuck are you even saying?” Eyes searching your face, Levi seems to be assessing whether or not you’ve suddenly gone insane during the few hours you’d been away.

Pointing a finger into your trunk, you urge, “Look! Do you recognize them?”

Levi takes a moment to eye the collection, silver gaze drifting across roses, red, yellow, and pink. Lavender in pastel purple, tall and straight in its containment, high enough to brush the roof. Tulips, both monochrome and striped, miss-matched all into one group. At the sight of the big, robust red petals of a hibiscus, his jaw openly drops. “Wha- you- what?”

It looks like his brain has fried, something backfiring along the back of his skull and short circuiting his system. Wide eyed, brows drawn up high behind his bangs, Levi seems to be at a loss for words. His jaw works, mouth opening and closing, lips pursing, but nothing escapes. Chest heaving with deep, rapid breaths, he leans forward to caress the soft red petals.

“I know you were planning on planting some tea, but I think this wouldn’t be too much more work. You could easily do both.” Hopefully this isn’t too much of a burden for him to deal with. Maybe you didn’t think this through completely.

“You,” Levi’s voice is so small, quavering as he struggles to comprehend your gift. He sounds like a small child, awed by the perfect present. “You brought Mom’s garden…”

“It’s not that much, I could only separate out some of it-“

“-oof!” You're cut off, pulled in by a frantic embrace. Levi’s arms pull you hard into his chest, wrapping around your waist and across your back with such strength that it steals all the air from your lungs. Face pressing against your collarbone, you can feel a wetness from where his face burrows against your skin. “Are you crying?”

You haven't seen him cry since your wedding day, several years ago, and even then it’d been quiet. Merely a light shedding of tears, no noise, and even then he’d waited until the two of you were alone to do so. Now, he’s gasping, shoulders shuddering as he sobs into the divot of your collarbone.

“You brought me Mom,” he warbles, almost a whine. The fingers at your shoulder blades become claws as he tries to nuzzle further into your embrace. “I couldn’t go back, not after everything that happened, but you brought her to me.”

“You loved her, more than anything, and she loved you too. But she was taken from you too soon,” you explain softly, patting his back. “We can visit her grave, and yeah we have some of her things, but I- I wanted some part of her to be here, living with us. For you.”

Smoothing your fingers along his bare back, the man practically trembles within your embrace, pressing his whole weight into your form. “All of it might not survive, transplanting can be a bit rough. I did my best with their roots.”

“I love you,” he states, firm even as he hiccoughs. Pressing a wet kiss to your neck, he continues, “I can’t believe you did this.”

“It’s nothing,” you state, firm and simple, even as your eyes start to tear up. Pressing a kiss to the crown of his head, your words are a bit watery as your eyes begin to leak a lazy trail along your cheeks, “We’ll take care of it together.”

Taking deep breaths, Levi struggles to calm down, eyelids fluttering against your sternum. “You're covered in dirt,” he notes again, nose curling up as he peels away from your torso.

“And you're all sweaty,” you chide right back, curling up your nose in mock disgust. Part of you wants to comment on the wet mark he left on your neck, a mix of snot and tears, but he struggles enough with expressing his deeper emotions as is. “Why don’t we take a bit of a break, get some tea, and then start digging holes.”

Levi shakes his head in response, still sniffling a bit, “I don’t want them sitting for too long. That can’t be good for them.”

“They were strong enough to survive on their own for almost 20 years, I’m sure it’ll be fine if you need a break.” Levi shakes his head in response, eyes already accessing the mostly bare stretch of your garden, so you say, “Let’s at least find something to wipe off your face with.”

“It’s fine,” Levi says, “I have a towel folded up on the porch for once I was done with the yard. I can just use that.”

When he wanders back, a bit less sweaty and snotty, his nose is still bright red, the skin around his eyes flushed a bright pink. “Where do you want them?” you ask him.

“Most of them need a lot of sun, so along the front of the house will probably be best.” It’s amazing to you just how much gardening knowledge Levi remembers, despite being so young at the time. “They’ll need water almost daily at first.”

Nodding your head, you decide, “I’ll set a phone alarm so I remember when I get home from work.”

“I’ll get it, you’ve already done more than enough,” Levi replies, waving you off as you begin to pull out your phone.

Pulling the dirty shovel from the back seat of your car, Levi suddenly turns with a start, pointing at you with an accusing finger, “You lied to me!”

“I -uh…,” you start, stuttering at the sudden, absolutely correct, accusation. “I’d merely been in the area..,” you try, the words sounding weak and defeated.

“With a shovel and the trunk of your car lined with a tarp?” Pulling twin sets of cloth from your back seat, the fabric flops around as he jerks them towards you, “You even had gloves!”

Raising your hands in defeat, you concede, “Okay, okay, you got me! I had this all planned out. Hange was totally going to back me up if you’d called them.”

“You went to the East Side by yourself?” At the words, Levi’s sharp gaze drags slowly across your firm, trying to find any sign of injury. “Do you know how dangerous that was? Remember, I got stabbed down there once? I told you about that right?”

“It’s fine! It’s fine!” you soothe, mind picturing the light white skin of the scar decorating the left side of Levi’s belly. “The most I got was some scratches from the thorn bushes.”

“You shouldn’t have gone alone!” Levi asserts angrily, but you know it’s just concern. “You could have actually brought Hange at least, they’d make a good meat shield. I hope you at least had something to protect yourself!”

“I have a taser somewhere in my car? I think it’s in my glove box?”

“You think?” Huffing a loud sigh, shoulders sagging in defeat, Levi pleads, “Next time you do something like this, at least tell me first okay?”

“I’m an adult, I could handle it. I didn’t even really see anyone anyways. The whole apartment complex seems to be abandoned,” you explain. All the windows on the first floor had been broken and the brickwork had been coated with graffiti, but the whole area had been eerily quiet other than the yowling of some stray cats. There’d been a handful of ominous pops in the distance, but that’s something you’ll only mention when you tell this story years down the line. “Honestly the sketchiest part was finding a place to park.”

Shaky hands pulling a pot full of hibiscus from the trunk, one of many since you’d tried to get as much of that one as possible, he remarks, “I can’t believe you sometimes.”

Helping unload some red roses, you say, “The risk was worth it, to bring some of her home for you.” It almost feels as though, this way, she’s still alive. You never got to meet her, but this way your mother-in-law would get to greet you as you came home every day.

You hope that it brings Levi a sense of comfort, having her here with you. That the lingering, distant memories of her blossom and grow alongside them. Her flowers, her garden, brightening up the front of your new home.

Maybe, one day, when your family grows to fill the empty rooms, your little ones will help take care of them with the both of you, tending to Kuchel’s garden just as Levi did.

“Thank you, I -I don’t have words,” Levi stutters, carefully putting the leafy hibiscus on the cement of your driveway. Bluster gone, tears are suddenly building in his eyes once again. “I’m going to pay you back for this.”

The words sound like a threat, but just the warble in his voice tells you he wants to do something sweet for you. “It’s really not necessary.”

Sniffling again, Levi thumbs the soft edge of a red petal. Over the passing years, the plant seems to have grown and grown. Whereas the previous blooms had been big enough to fit on a page, these ones almost dwarf Levi’s entire face. Smiling down at them, soft and sweet, Levi murmurs, “I don’t know how, but I will, just you wait.”

Tag list: @levmada (I should really do one of those polls to get names)

[captainaikus]

Also I loved reading The Alchemist but I seriously need to get my own copy for a reread. Have you heard of No Longer Human by Dazai Osamu? It’s Japanese classic literature and I was very emotional by the end of it because at that point in my life I could really relate with so many things the author wrote abt. I need to reread it eventually with a new set of eyes and now that I’m in a much better place in life. I actually first got into it because of Bungo Steay Dogs LEAVE ME ALONE I FOUND SOME VERY GOOD BOOKS THROUGH THAT ANIME ASHKHFFGCC. I’m currently in the long process of making my way through H.P. Lovecrafts stories and I need to start Crime and Punishment at some point but we’re not ready for that level of commitment and annotating yet 💀. Do you annotate books? I only recently got into it and sometimes I hate it but other times I love it. Like I hate it when it starts to feel like another homework assignment but I love it when it helps me collect my thoughts and I can take my time to actually digest what I’m reading. So it’s a 50/50 experience. From my birthday book spree, I got the omnibus (joint) volumes 10-11-12 of One Piece (I’m collecting all the omnibus volume sets where it’s like 3 volumes in one manga cause collecting the box sets is really expensive and I’m a very impatient person sometimes lol), the omnibus volume 1-2 and 3-4 of Tokyo Revengers (when I found out that they had finally released physical English versions of the manga I walked into Barnes and Noble with the mission to get that volume first and foremost and I was so excited and surprised and happy that they had also released the second omnibus volume too so I got both at the same time rereading Tokyo Revengers from the beginning is so nostalgic and makes me cry so much but in a good way because at this point in the story everything’s still almost great and happy), I also got volume 2 of Blue Lock and ordered volumes 1 and 3 (I figured I might as well start collecting the manga now so I can start binge reading immediately after the first season ends). I also got actual book books too. One was a new buy (not from my tbr list) and it’s called Belladonna by Adalyn Grace (one of the store people recommended it to me last time I was there and it sounded fun and interesting so I got it, it’s also hardcover since it’s new, and oh man I haven’t purchased a hardcover in such a long time lol), Kingdom of the Wicked by Kerri Maniscalco (it’s was all over my fyp for a while but that’s not the reason I got it, I got it because a lot of my favorite booktokkers recommended it and it’s not mainstream, made that mistake with The Poppy War already, so I got it), and the paperback copy of The Hawthorne Legacy by Jennifer Lynn Barnes (idk why this book got so much hate but I liked the first one so we shall see). Oh and I’m also rereading PJO in honor of the show coming out soon. Do you like Percy Jackson? The trailer for the show was asvjgdffff amazing it was like seeing my childhood come to life I have high hopes for the show. And I’m also reading Chainsaw Man rn because I had gotten volumes 1-5 already before the anime started cause I heard it was great and I wanted to be ahead if the show you know but I finished volume 3 before life happened so I wanna start reading it again. Anyways how are you? Doing good I hope? Have you eaten and drank water today? *sends virtual hugs*

- ✨ anon

The moment I read 'no longer human by Dazai Osamu' I knew it had to be BSD 💀 and reading further I turned out to be right; I’ll have to give it a try though. With Japanese books, I have the memoirs of a geisha and another autobiography of a geisha and ikigai. Murakami’s works have been complimented a lot so I’m contemplating if I should read that or not… maybe once I’m done with this book.

I tried reading Brida and Valkyrie by Paulo coelho but I was too young and didn’t understand it 😮‍💨

I do annotate books! It’s kinda a necessity atp being a uni student; but otherwise I annotate books as well cause life lessons to use later amirite?

I have a bleach Omnibus, a black edition of death note but otherwise I read manga online cause it’s easier in a way but for book books, I prefer the physical copy when I use travel or something along with music playing. Music makes the experience of reading good and even when I’m working or writing something. Most of the recs I get are from friends and family or something I pick up when I’m out shopping for books. I’ve heard of Lovecraft’s books but I’ve never had the chance of reading them… I read mostly non fiction works but I do enjoy a good horror.

Funny thing, I started getting into Percy Jackson in eighth grade cause my peers were reading it but in five pages of lightening thief I just stopped reading for some reason? But. I managed to finish twilight in two days and proceeded to buy the entire collection. Then I sold it off cause I realized I was being cringe and it was a phase (I’m so embarrassed of even telling this story 😭) and then I read Harry Potter as well… managed to finish the goblet of fire and I had other books in the series as well like the order of the phoenix but I decided to give those away and finally found my place in mangas and anime and works of non fiction… the only fiction I read recently was Verity by colleen Hoover ; and that inspired me to write ruined Rome (which is currently on hold and will continue once I edit the new changes into it)

As for chainsawman , that manga provided me comfort in a way cause i had to travel at that time since a member of my family had passed away. And while I was at the funeral, I wasn’t in a good shape cause we were pretty close so I decided to read chainsawman and the story of Pochita and Denji gave me an odd sense of comfort I would say? Cause it’s like ‘I’ll always be a part of you.’

Switching onto the lighter side of things, people are going crazy over Makima and I’m just waiting for mappa to animate that part 😶‍🌫️

I’m doing good bb <3 worked out this morning, got through two bottles of water, had brekky and my roommate is planning to cut my hair this week and I’m also working on an art of me and Aiku (yes I am that obsessed, but hey selfship is the best ship) uni goes on; and I’m doing work in advance so that I can relax later (I’m so sleepy but caffeine isn’t good for my system as much so I stick to just milk), writing a lot more and studying as well. How about you? I hope you’re doing well and taking care of yourself?

*sending hugs*