#anyways im gonna figure out if it's actually a good deal or not. there seems to be a sale but it's the normal price so wtf?

[g4rchomp]

I'm looking into noise cancelling headphones and there are Sony ones below 150$CAD that look good but idk anything about noise cancelling headphones I'm a bit lost.

wait why does the best buy website says '150$ - save 100$!' when they're already priced at 150$ on the sony website... what am I missing....

[inbabylontheywept]

bad dating stories time: the shoe incident

so in highschool, my best friend wasnt allowed to go on dates unless there was another couple there to keep an eye on him. part of this was his parents being insane, but also, part of it was him being insane. in a problem with no reasonable parties, there are no reasonable solutions.

at some point in my junior year, my sorta-gf broke up with me, and i just wasnt feeling dating, which was bad for my friend, because he had a good thing going with a girl he met in court.

he kind of hounded me about it. kept pushing me to just put me feet back in the dating pool and i wasnt real thrilled about it, because i knew he was pushing me for his own benefit, not mine, so i kept telling him to fuck off, and after a few weeks of being told that i would date when i was damn well ready, he eventually said: okay. what if i paid for the date AND found you a blind date AND all you had to do was show up?

and i shouldve said no, i know, but i let him wear me down, and i will own my fault in that. a date starting on such a stupid premise could never have gone well.

but he still managed to find a way to make it worse.

i dont know how long he tried to set a blind date up. it couldve been multiple attempts. he couldve stooped to this immediately. but what happened in the end was that he called a girl from the ward he attended - a girl that he knew had a giant, mushy crush on him - and he said: hey! how would you feel about going on a date this weekend?

(you know, implying it was with him, but never actually saying it.)

and she said YES WOW I WOULD LOVE TO and he said great! and then he called me up and said he found me a date.

i did not learn about his crimes until several weeks later. i will die swearing before god almighty that i would never have allowed this travesty to happen if i had known.

that was on a monday. the date of the date rolled around that friday evening, and im sorry to confess, i really phoned the whole thing in. i showed up in my favorite comfy outfit, which was also a fashion crime: basketball shorts and flipflops and a baja hoodie. it was super comfy but it made me look kind of crazy. i picked him up first, and then i picked up his date next, and then we went to pick up my date, and thats where you're gonna get the play by play.

i arrived, walked across the yard, and knocked on the front door. she opened it almost immediately, like shed been waiting right by it, and i could see her expression go from OMG IM SO EXCITED to super disappointed, then disgusted and finally pissed. and because i didn't know about my friends sins, i thought it was from my outfit. which seemed... harsh. like, hey, im allowed to be quirky, fuck you. also its a blind date, i thought the deal was that we were both going to be sad broken sacks of mortality.

anyway, we looked at each other for several seconds before she slammed the door in my face.

i looked back at my friend. he was sweating bullets. i dont know what he expected from this, but there was this big long pause where we both tried to figure out what to do, and then the door opened up, and her dad invited me in, and he said she was gonna need a few minutes to finish getting ready, and that in the meantime we could sit and talk.

we did not talk. we did sit. i sat down on the couch, and he sat down in a chair across the couch, and then instead of talking he cleaned his pistol on the coffee table. i wasnt actually sure if it was a threat, or if it was just a fidget thing for 40+ year old republican men, but when i tried to help he got snappy so i just watched him put a pistol back together.

he was okay at it.

eventually my date came downstairs, still mad as hell for reasons beyond my ken, and i felt pretty guilty for being such a mess because i thought that was why she was so angry. i tried to make up for by walking her to the car and getting the door for her, just generally trying to be extra polite, but before i could make it back to the drivers side, her dad called me back to the door. so i flipped around, went to the door, and immediately regreted my decision.

soon as i was within range, her dad got waaaay too close to me, leaned in, and said "whatever you do to her, i will do to you," and my brain went into overdrive making three consecutive realizations.

realization one was, damn, the pistol thing was a threat. that sucks. what an asshole. realization two was, wait, im autistic and even i know theres a 0% chance me and my date even hold hands, least of all boink. does this guy actually think there's even a 1% chance of anyone in that car getting laid tonight? is he an idiot? and then realization three went through, which was wait, is this guy threatening to fuck me? and unfortunately, with my brain doing so much processing, my mouth was left to run amok, so somewhere between realization 2 and 3, i said:

"i can't get pregnant"

which, i swear, wasn't actually me trying to be a smartass, it was just me pointing out that he couldn't actually follow up on that threat. it just wasn't possible. we do not live in the omegaverse and im not scared of you.

still, it was an insanely catastrophic thing to say, and the moment we both heard it, we bluescreened. that single sentence obliterated both of our momentary streams of consciousness like a saltine in front of a sand blaster. problem was, he'd probably gone his whole life not even realizing someone could say something that stupid, and making that realization was going to cost him a lot of thinking time. me though? i had been saying shit like that for 17 years, i didnt have to rewrite my expectations of human nature, i just had to plan an exit and start striding. so i was already halfway back to the car before i heard "hey. hey come back. Hey. Hey. HEY. HEY WAIT. HEY GET BACK HERE. HEY-"

and then i was in my car, and i drove away.

if this happened today, he'd have called her, and the whole thing wouldve imploded then and there, but back then, there were still a decent number of teenagers without cell phones. especially the teenagers of insane, gun toting parents. so she just said: whoa what was that all about? and i said: dont worry about it, he'll tell you about it when you get home.

and she said: ok and went back to staring daggers at me and my friend.

WHICH SURPRISINGLY isnt even how the story ends.

we went to an improv comedy show, and it was a disaster. it shouldve been like, 7/10 tops, but between my date being mad, and my friend having a good time, and me having the existential terror of knowing that a guy with a pistol was probably waiting outside his house for me to come back, it was easily 11/10. i laughed way too hard at everything. especially the jokes that flopped. id sit there in this mostly silent room and laugh until i dry heaved a little, and my date was absolutely disgusted, and even my friend was a little embarrassed, which would just make me laugh harder. i laughed so hard that night i could barely talk the next day. and then the show ended, and my friend said, you know, that was a good time, but i think we should maybe do something a little chiller? who wants to walk around the park? and his date said yeah, and my date said no, and i finally had mercy on the poor woman so i said, look, im gonna drop you off. and i am so, so sorry about this, but im dropping you off like a block away. super duper sorry.

do talk to your dad about the pistols thing if you dont want this happening more in the future tho.

and she said: okay. so i dropped her off, and she walked a block down, and that was that.

then i drove my friend and his date to a park that was good for wandering. i figured they wanted something more private, so instead of following them around point blank, i chose a park with this 30 foot rope tower, and i climbed to the top and i said: hey i can see you anywhere from up here, you are officially chaperoned from a distance. get panopticoned idiot. except my friend really is an idiot, and he didnt really get the whole 'now i dont have to third wheel so insanely hard with you guys' thing so he climbed up the tower too, and then his date followed behind him, so there are three people basically sitting together on top of a telephone pole.

and then they started making out.

i was close enough to hear it.

i didnt really know what to do so i was just kind of sitting there, dissociating, when some college kids came around and started shaking the tower. my friend's date went aaaaaaaaaa im afraid of heights :( and my friend went oh, dont worry, ill hold you tight ;) and i went hey, im gonna climb down and ask them to stop.

so i did climb down, and i did ask them to stop, and they flipped me off, which i wasnt even mad about. at that point i was i was like yeah, it would be weirder if this wasnt a mess. gods plan has been to fly this day like a 747 into my metaphorical twin towers and brother he is close enough for me to see him grinning through the cockpit window. still, eventually the college students got bored, so they climbed up the tower, which gave my friend and his date a window to climb down, and together we walked back to my car.

now, i cant explain why this is, but sitting back in the drivers seat was my carriage-back-into-a-pumpkin moment. i'd been chill about all the chaos, just rolling with the punches, but sitting down made me realize how much of a shitshow the day had been, and while i couldnt go back and fix all of it, i could go back and fix one thing.

so i told my friend and his date, hey, you two, stay here and don't do anything weird. don't. then i walked back to the rope tower, and i started picking up the shoes the college students had left at the base in order to climb.

about halfway through this, i realized that if i took all their shoes, they might think i was in it for the money, and i actually wanted them to know i was in it specifically to spite them. fuck those guys. so i put all the right shoes back, gave myself a 100 foot headstart, yelled "nice shoes, assholes", did a little jig, and started running.

my advice to everyone is that college students are faster than you think. even with the headstart, and the whole climb down the tower thing, i was still only fivish seconds ahead of them by the time i got to my car. i flung the door open, looked in the backseat, didnt see anyone, flung the stolen shoes in the backseat, heard two "ow"s, took that as proof of presence, jumped in and pealed out of the lot.

my friend and his date popped up a few seconds later. they were, uh, doing something weird in the back seat. my one request - obliterated.

they climbed up to ask where the hell all the shoes had come from, and i was like yeah i stole them from the college students, and they were like oh. cool. hope you had fun. and i was like, i did. i did. but speaking of fun, what were you doing back there?

and for the first time in my buddies life, i think he was actually embarassed.

[jockwrites]

LUST - p.b

warnings: smut, (over 20 asks for smut.) cursing, drinking, straight people

part: 3 (last part)

a/n: this prob bad and i didn’t proof read so lmk ok bye im gonna go ahead and post this

two months. that’s how long it’s been since the last time you’ve spoken to paige.

since she left that night, you can’t say it’s been better, but you’re definitely learning how to prioritize yourself.

the way she hurt you did enough damage, and the guilt she left within you made your blood boil.

but you can’t deny you miss her, because you do.

besides that, you’ve seemed to find yourself within the time period between the breakup.

you dyed your hair blonde, got the belly piercing you’ve been wanting, & you’ve started to get your nails & hair done more often.

to you, life has been great.

but the only thing that’s missing is your girl.

the girl who made you feel special, loved, prioritized.

but you have to accept the fact that she’s gone, and you’ve been coping with it.

besides all of that, tonight you’re going to a “night out” event at a local bar. sounds risky, but you need it after everything you’ve been through these last few months.

as you shower, washing out the dirt that’s been accumulating in your hair, you hear an incoming call from your best friend.

you open the shower door, water dripping from your arms as you go to answer it.

“i’m in the shower lilly what do you want.” you speak, annoyed.

“who the hell pissed in your cereal,” she asks, giggling, “but anyway what’re you wearing honey bun”

“well if you would’ve let me shower and actually figure out what i wanna wear then i could’ve given you a proper answer.”

“chill outtt jeez but ok. also paige is going”

“and how do you know this creep?”

“welll.. it was kinda on my for you page..?”

“why is she on your for you page to begin with?”

“ok not the point. but supposedly she’s going because of her brand deal with madison reed to celebrate something.. like i actually have no idea but look your best and make the bitch jealous ok byeee enjoy your shower,” she rambled.

after she hangs up, you immediately turn off the shower & get out to dry off.

you have to look perfect tonight.

you dry yourself, looking in the mirror as you wonder how you’ll pull this off. you know damn well you wanna see her.

you walk out of the bathroom, towel wrapped around you as you go to check your closet for outfits.

you grab your phone, calling your best friend to find opinions on what to wear.

“heyyyy girl are you in a good mood now?” she grinned over the phone.

“ok so not funny, also can you help me with what im gonna wear?”

“of course i’m literally like a fashion designer.”

“ok so, maybe not that but whatever helps you sleep at night!” you giggled.

“ok anyway, try on the outfits bitch i wanna see them.” she squealed.

“okok, give me a second.”

you proceed to look through your closet, finding a orange, short dress.

“is this cute?” you ask your friend, showing it to your friend over the phone.

“omg yes!! try it on now.”

you let out a laugh, taking your towel off to try on the dress.

you step into it, pulling it up as you fondle with the straps.

“okay, how do i look?” you smiled.

“so. fucking. good.” she complimented.

“okay don’t make my ego high, but wanna see the other dress?” you giggle.

“yes!! please.”

“okay girl okay” you replied.

you find another dress, purple, short, tight, & lacy.

again, you mimic your actions earlier and show it to your friend over the phone.

“ok, how’s this?”

“GORGEOUS. try it on. now.”

“okay creep.” you insulted.

you try on the dress, not really liking it. but of course, you let your friend put her 2 cents in on it.

“i don’t really like it but what do you-”

“yes. wear that. NOW. wear. it.” she nagged.

“holy shit, okay. but are you sure it looks good?”

“i said wear the damn dress!”

────────────────────────

you sit down to do your makeup, going for a sleek, not too much look.

“i know you wanna see paige tonight.” says your friend over the phone.

you grab your concealer out of your makeup bag, rolling your eyes at her idiotic but true statement.

“and if i did? who would it hurt?” you asked groggily as you pat the concealer on your under-eye.

“well, not saying it’d hurt me, but might hurt you. but what do i know, you know?” she says sarcastically.

“okay lilly.” you sass, adding your final touches to your makeup with powder and mascara.

“should i wear pearls or diamonds?”

“diamonds.”

“gold or silver?”

“silver duh.”

“kk thanks pookie, im gonna go though, text me when you’re ready! bye honey.” you hang up.

after you hang up the phone, you grab your curling iron to add extras touches to your hair. you wanna look perfect tonight.

after you’re all finished getting ready, you grab your keys and head out.

you get in your car and get a notification from your phone.

“Paige💕 just added a new post to their story!”

ironic.

it’s a picture of her and brittany, her fashion designer or whatever.

you roll your eyes, turning on your car. as you pull out, you get ready for whatever’s in store tonight.

────────────────────────

you pull into the parking lot of the bar, noticing a familiar car. it’s her car.

you walk in and the first thing you notice is your best friend, lilly.

she runs over to you, giddy and grinning.

“oh my gosh you made it finally! i was like so bored and also i seen paige and she looked at me weird like bitch-” she rambled, under the influence.

“lilly, calm down. where is she?” you ask, grinning.

“she’s over there i think, she was talking to some girl. it wasn’t her cousin,” she air quoted, “some other girl. i don’t know her though.. but how are you pookie,” she giggled.

“some other girl,” you ask, genuinely confused.

“girl enough about her! can we grab some drinks please??” she pouts.

“i guess lillian,” you laugh.

“yay!” she cheered as she grabbed you by your arm to get drinks.

you walk with her to the bar, asking the bartender for a dirty shirley. paige’s favorite.

she technically put you on, they’re so good.

“thank you,” you gesture to the bartender after receiving your drink.

“so you gonna talk to paige?” lilly asks, slurring every word.

“i won’t talk to her unless she talks to me,” you roll your eyes.

“well, speak of the devil she’s walking over here!” she bursts.

you turn your head, seeing paige walking over.

“ok im going to find a boyfriend or something ill leave you two to whatever this is bye!” she squealed.

as your friend leaves, paige approaches.

“hey.. how you been? you look.. hella different,” paige tells you, looking you up and down.

“is that a compliment?” you roll your eyes.

“yeah, you look good as fuck.” she licks her lips, her eyes locked on your figure in your dress.

“why are you over here again?” you sassed.

“i just wanted to know wassup with you. i miss you man, i know i fucked up.” she looked down, ashamed.

“so why’d you do it?” you ask, sipping your drink.

“listen, it was a mistake. ion know if you’d be able to forgive me but im dead serious, i- i didn’t mean it. i was speaking out of anger.” she stuttered.

she seems so genuine, there’s no way you won’t be able to forgive her.

“we all make mistakes. i just don’t understand why you’d do me like that, seriously. after everything? really?” you asked, perplexed.

“i know, i know. but im for real, you the only girl i want. do you know how many times i’ve thought about you today? yesterday? last week? i can’t get you off my mind.” she expressed.

“i met a girl about a week ago,” you admitted, “nothing like you. they’ll never be like you paige, no matter who i meet.” you let out a breathy laugh, knowing there’s 100% truth to your words.

paige grabs you up from your seat, pulling you by your waist to her chest.

“everything’s okay, im here now. and if it’s okay with you, i wanna be here tomorrow to. i wanna be here everyday, with you and only you.” she promised.

you wanna kiss her, but with the fame she has itll be on tiktok in 30 minutes.

shes thinking exactly what you’re thinking, and with the thoughts you two are sharing, she pulls you toward the bathroom.

just like when you two first met.

when she pulls you into the bathroom, she locks the door behind you two.

you bite back a moan as she pushes you against the wall, sucking on the soft spot of your neck.

“i missed this. fuck, i missed you.” she spoke hungrily against your neck, her voice raspy.

“fuck, paige i missed you too. so much,” you breathed, needy for her touch.

“you want me to fuck you in this bathroom?” she huffed as she pulled up the hem of your dress.

“fuck. of course i do,” you gasped. the sudden gesture catching you off guard.

“mm, i know you do.” she groans as she sinks to her knees, pulling down your panties.

she looks up at you before placing her tongue flat against your clit.

no warning, just getting straight into it.

you throw your head back into the wall, the ecstasy of her tongue arousing you.

“oh fuck paige, just like that, shit,” you whimpered loudly, raking through her hair as she works her magic below you.

your hips buck against her face, her tongue swirling around your clit. you’re starting to get dizzy from all the overstimulation.

she sucks on your clit, lapping her tongue in your folds.

her tongue flicks against your clitoris, making your breath hitch.

she grabs your calves, holding your legs in place while she eats you out driving you senseless.

“stay still,” she whispered against your pussy, the vibration driving you insane.

she dips her tongue inside you, gripping your thighs desperately.

“fuck, paige i’m trying-” she slides her tongue up your pussy, leaving a line of spit as she inserts two fingers inside you, cutting you off.

“holy shit, i’m gonna cum,” you grunted.

“do it, right here,” she rasped out, sucking on your clit eagerly.

she speeds up the motion of her fingers inside you, curling them as she hits the exact spot to make you cum.

she continues to lap at your pussy, sucking on your clit constantly.

“shit baby, you taste so good,” she moans against you.

as you clench against her fingers, she removes them.

she continues to pleasure you with her tongue, making up for the loss of her fingers.

“paige, fuck! i’m gonna cum,” you cried out, your knees going limp.

you finally reach your climax, your body coated in a thin sheen of sweat. the time slows down for you, your pulse beating faster and faster as your vision goes static.

paige looks dead in your eyes, pulling herself back up.

“i don’t wanna lose you again, i love you,” she whispers against your neck, pushing your hair behind your left ear.

“paige,” you breathe, your chest heaving. “i don’t wanna lose you again either. i love you,” you profess.

“good,” she kisses you, cupping your cheeks as you taste yourself in her mouth.

after the intense sex and encounter, you try to freshen yourself up by fixing your dress & hair.

“stop, you look perfect,” she calmed you.

“we can go back out now? how long have we been in here?” you giggle.

“it’s alright baby, i got it.”

as you two walk out, you realized the party kinda died down.

paige looks down at you, smirk apparent on her face.

“you tryna go home so i can show you something?” she grins.

“that’s a crazy question, duh.”

a/n: i finally finished this holy crap. anyway hope you guys enjoyed i can’t write long smut so this is all you get until i learn how to properly write it 😞 ok bye thanks for waiting bc my asks are horrid and you guys rushed me to finish this :-| also not proof read i don’t feel like it ahahah…………

[samdeancrimespree]

it’s time to overanalyze the impala destruction scene <3 with actual screencaps this time. my analysis of the shot will be Above the screencap. hopefully that makes sense

so sam tries once again to talk to dean about dad. dean yells at him again for suddenly wanting to do what dad would’ve wanted and sam opens up to him about feeling guilty. then sam says he’s dealing with dads death, but dean isn’t. dean doesn’t say anything, just looks at him like This.

we don’t know yet, what john said to dean before he died. but it’s hanging over dean. i think sam’s reaction to dad’s death makes dean want to keep johns words a secret even more. if he tells sam that’s what dad wanted, sam might go along with it.

every time someone brings up john, dean hears his words again, and he feels even worse. he can’t deal with dads death because that means acknowledging what he said, and it’s just too much. he already lost dad, he can’t lose sam too.

sam says “i’ll leave you alone.” and walks away. we only hear a few steps, but that might just be for clarity. who knows. or he just. took a few steps then stopped.

either way, dean turns around and calmly picks up a crowbar. he smashes the window of a random car. takes a few breaths.

as he turns around, he looks up from the ground. looks at something in front of him. it seems for a second like he’s going to stop.

then he looks down at the impala. he glances back up, just for a second. right where sam was standing before. it looks like he’s making sure sam is watching him. you want me to deal with it? fine.

“next time someone asks me if i’m okay, i’m gonna start throwing punches.”

so he goes crazy on the impala. we all know that part.

he destroys the car right after he fixes it. specifically the trunk of the car, where they keep their hunting arsenal. maybe that was just the closest part, or maybe he’s had enough of his family dying because of hunting. he didn’t want to find the demon if it meant sam would die, but now sam might die anyway. no matter what he does, the car/his family will be destroyed. he can’t fix it, and it’s futile to even try. all his work, all the time and love he put into sam might have been worthless.

when he finally stops, he looks wrecked. this is the most emotion he’s allowed himself since dad died.

this is the last shot of the episode. him staring for a good 10 seconds, still on that same eyeline. he seems like he’s looking at something.

he lets himself look sad for a second, but he doesn’t turn away like he normally would. he wants sam to see. this was all for him. it’s like… there. i’m upset. was that enough? can you stop asking now?

then his expression hardens, shutting down and covering his emotions again. it’s like he’s warning sam. dean can’t be sad, only angry. only destructive. this time, it’s the car. next time, it might be sam. the two things he’s supposed to look after, both ruined. and dad isn’t here to fix it. dean has to figure it out on his own.

it looks like he’s asking sam to just leave it alone. don’t ask me about this. i can’t talk about it. and for now, sam believes it’s just about dad dying.

and then the episode ends. i genuinely cannot tell if im supposed to think sam is there or not. but like its the same eyeline!!! and the shot is pushed in and to the right!! sam could be standing in the same spot for all we know !! also what else would he be having a silent convo with in bobby’s junkyard? the dog? his own reflection? the only thing that makes sense to me is that sam is there. that he’s doing this For sam. maybe this is something everyone noticed but me until rn but. im going insane

[pseudophan]

idk if this is confirmed or if im insane but i feel like dan in his why i quit youtube video was talking about how he felt like there was Dan content and Dan And Phil content and how he felt like he was split between them....i wonder if hes trying both to see what he still likes to do. he had his internet show and now danandphilgamws is back like. i have a feeling he's trying to figure things out rn

i think dan ultimately wants to do his own thing and has a lot of ideas and aspirations, specifically he wants to be a stage comedian like his passion is clearly for live performances and while the comedy bit is still being fine tuned (i'm not saying he's bad, in fact he's kinda good ngl, but he definitely has a way to go if he wants to be Great) the performance part he's got DOWN like say what you want about that man but he ooowwwnnnsss a stage. also he's weirdly great at audience interaction lmao? that was my main takeaway from we're all doomed, both the pre show and the show itself, he deals with heckling like.. AMAZINGLY well. he's genuinely hilarious responding to an audience like i never thought i'd say this a few years ago but i think he might actually have a future in live comedy lmao????

but i also think he.. needs money LOL like he's said many a time he doesn't really love being a full time youtuber, but also he does enjoy making youtube videos! just, you know.. not full time. but while on his own channel making Daniel Howell(tm) videos he puts a lot of pressure on himself, and then if he does a slightly less high pressure series or whatever (dystopia daily) it's relatively well received and the videos are good enough but like.. it's not the traction he wants, nor the traction he needs

ultimately dan knows that if he wants to keep and potentially build an audience online that lies in Dan And Phil. it always has and it always will. and i think for a long time he struggled with that, and as much as people gave him shit for it i completely get it. like, lmao, of COURSE he wants to be recognised for his own abilities and not just the dynamic and chemistry he's got going with... his literal partner. honestly it would be one thing if dnp were just comedy partners because there are a lot of comedy duos on the world who've made it big, but i think there's something about it being him and his full time actual real life boyfriend/life partner that kinda makes it weird. and as much as i love the dnp dynamic i still do get that feeling so much like honestly who can blame him ?? if your entire professional life is just.. your personal life but on camera ? that's weird. it's gotta feel weird and it's definitely unfulfilling for someone as aspirational as dan and i can't blame him at all for it

that being said, dan clearly does really enjoy making videos with phil. which yeah of course he does, he gets to just turn on a camera and talk shit with the guy he talks shit with all day long anyway. and i think what he's now realised is 1. if he wants to keep/build an audience, the dan and phil branding is where it's at and 2. he needs an income while he works on whatever solo projects he's got going on, and dnp makes a loooot of money

basically my point is - dan seems to really enjoy making videos with phil but he knows that's not really a life long career choice. as much as i'd love them to, it's not really an option for them to be playing sims when they're like, sixty. and while phil is relatively chill and seems to just take things as they come, which tbh is probably the healthiest way of doing things, dan is very overthinking and wants to get ahead of everything and also in general just like.. he wants to build a career! he wants to build something on his own and i can't fault him for that at all. dan knows that one day he's gonna need something more than just Dan And Phil if he wants to keep working, and he's laying the groundwork right now to be able to do that

again, though, i don't want anyone to take this as like 'dan is only doing dapg to make money and rebuild a fanbase' because as much as that is definitely a big part of it... just look at the man. in these videos. he's having a great time. and also, as annoying as we are, he does kinda love us. sometimes. maybe. <3

[writhe]

because of the car situation, i didn’t get to visit my old friend today. i’m excited to see her and hear about her life and it felt like a step towards learning tattoo stuff too. was disappointing in multiple ways. i was on the phone trying to figure out some insurance stuff until noon. had to finish ordering my ID (needed to figure out how to pay online without a debit card too).

walked hal, saw a large branch fall in the road and block traffic. my housemate cut it up (and i helped move it and i also chatted with the neighbor- once it had been dragged out of the street, the city said they wouldn’t deal with it since it was no longer on public property so this random elderly woman suddenly had this on her plate? hello?). but all seems it will resolve well and quickly

took reference photos for a commission im excited about while on the walk, and a man with a small fire smoldering in his yard saw me through the hedges and told me to come check out the outdoor museum in his yard and i told him i was heading somewhere but that the smoke smelled good and he said “you can come smell this whole damn house” but not in a way that felt threatening, just kind of interesting, and kind of made me think of a ghost. i wonder what would have happened if i went in, i had halliwell with me and a knife so when someone hedges those bets i tend to give them slightly more of the benefit of the doubt

got home and spent the rest of the day packing nearly 50 orders (thanks y’all). got really in it with some emotions. was hoping to go to a farm workday too but by the time that would have happened i was tired from doing things that felt like effort and figured i had other social plans later anyway. went on a second walk and ran into some friends in an alley who told me the other plans i had later were cancelled (we were gonna play MtG and i hadn’t checked the chat)

a friend came over to use our washing machine and i was cranky at first bc i’d wanted to be alone for a little while but it ended up being nice. i fucked around with my sewing machine for a couple hours and fixed my duvet cover (hal ripped a huge hole in it while clawing at it). it’s far more functional than it is aesthetically pleasing and was actually really engaging for me

the night ended with me and my housemates and our friend hanging out in the living room and cracking and eating nuts. talking a little bit about emotions and politics and stuff, it got really sweet and i feel nice

my neighbor texted me that he thought he saw fishing around in my car, so around midnight i went out to check and found that he’d bought be a big ole 12 pack of my favorite drinks & set it inside the passenger seat for me to find (-,:

[navy-leader]

Mildly losing my mind so im gonna talk about my AvA AU, Heaven's Underpass

Its essentially just a demon/angel au with some minor worldbuilding and slight altering of the already existing narrative (and lots of shipping...). It is by far Not comprehensive and merely done for fun so inconsistencies abound, sacrificed for self-indulgence

I made this AU before AvA6 came out and structured the initial timeline with what we had at the time so it branches off into different alternates ever since then

Anyways the story for the most part follows the actual AvA series with the added addition of them being some sort of divine or infernal entity. Chose started off as and angel but once Chosen was captured and enslaved by noogai he burnt off his wings and became a demon. Then AvA3 rolls around, another angel was created and tasked to take down Chosen, Dark. Though after Dark was defeated and accepted Chosen's hand in partnership her divinity slowly drained out of her as she becomes a fallen angel/demon, though she doesnt fully become one until AvA5.

Then comes The Second Coming, a deity that rivaled the power of the animator but was raised amongst mortals (The Color Gang) so they never found out of their divine nature until much later. Also Green was a guardian angel watching over RBY until he got his wings stolen by a demon and became mortal like them, aint all that bad though cause now they can actually get to know eachother! He still has that protective and caring nature from his time as a guardian and extends it towards Second when they came into the picture.

Purple intermission! Cause theyre the only other character outside of the AvA series that i put much thought into. Shes a demon who had stolen an angel's wings (wink) to reach some form of divinity. I havent really thought of her background all that much but i did entertain the idea that her parents are demons but them being a mix of angel and demon but leaning more into demon sounds more interesting and i feel adds a bit more to their character. I also had the thought that King was a mortal who had made a deal with the devil to achieve his goals, that demon being Purple. He has a lot of moral dilemmas just like canon Purple but made worse because of the everything 👍

Moving on, AvA5 happens and Second awakens their divine powers (though temporarily) and Dark gets blasted into the stratosphere and becomes a proper demon, but shes not dead! Somewhere down the line she met Purple in her weakened state and they bond over their moral dilemmas like good trauma bonding buddies should do, and Purple takes care of her as she recovers

Meanwhile something appears on the desktop as the color gang head home from the events of AvA5 and find,,, a demon hollowhead? They seem confused and absolutely terrified of the mouse cursor that belongs to the animator and attempts to attack it but was soon held down by the color gang and calmed down. After a brief introduction they find out this demon's name is victim. And then this essentially follows the AU i had for if victim came back, made before AvA6 came out. I discussed it in this post here.

Anyways Second and vic and Chosen get crazy gay with eachother in the end and Purple pulls up to the desktop with Dark in tow like "hi guys meet my girlfriend!" and Dark and Chosen look at eachother like "Shit. Thats my ex." but in the end they talk it out and agreed they should see other people and yayy happy times

And then AvA6 came out and uhh crushed everyone's headcanons and i couldnt be happier!!! And then i havent really figured out what to do with the AU timeline wise and im just having fun slapping wings and horns onto these sticks and bringing out the themes inside the story to be more visual and etc etc

Anyways goodnight

[vyvesvi]

pd 101 japan picks & commentary (3)

preshow & ep 1

ep 2 - ep 5

ep 6 general commentary

this ep was kind of lowkey. not really sure how i feel about the team selection being entirely determined by rank - pretty sad that karen & momoka, amongst others, probably wont get to show their actual main abilities

the teams that performed were hero, shine a light, wa da da, & run run. ranking: run run > hero ≥ wa da da > shine a light. i don't really like the song choices (songs that already have choreo for a dance round, only one non-idol dance song, plus the singers/producers for that song helped arrange all of the vocal performances? makes me wonder if the final group will be getting a LAS song) but at least theyre all in japanese this time (for the vocal & rap groups at least)

run run: good performance but i have a few gripes. 1 - why was it worth more points? they said that the choreo was harder but the whole mission was for the girls to create choreo so... i dont actually expect that the trainees on these shows are doing all the arranging and writing and choreography themselves (much less on pd japan where virtually no one has a trainee background) but the whole set up of the mission kind of says the quiet part loud, you know? 2 - the distribution was a complete mess. loved joa as the center but the rest were basically backup dancers...for a choreo that theyre ostensibly creating themselves the difference in screentime between each person just doesnt make sense. and that was reflected in all of the ranks apart from yuuki & yurara i think. storyline: i found the koto/yuki storyline pretty meh. joa did actually do better than both of them so...? still, in another series this wouldve had a massive conflict edit & im glad pdj doesn't really do that. sad mitsuki & serina didn't get much screentime, i think mitsuki should've gone for antifragile actually, she needed to be on a team where the styling would've worked with her & allowed her to show more of a charming side on stage (friend that i watched LOVED her in cheer up, made me pause to figure out who the "gorgeous regina george lookalike" was.)

hero: ando yui is my daughter but i have to admit that she has a tendency towards shouting some notes. still, i feel like she has a ton of potential and im glad that she got to redeem herself after the audition. tsuzumi is basically in and she 100% knows it, so it's interesting to see how she's dealing with it. more than anyone else in the top it seems to really be impacting her, but she also seems to have a lot of close friends on the show who understand & are supporting her. to be honest, i usually don't like contestants like mayu but...idk. i see a lot in her but im not sure why. it seems like voters are starting to get serious so her rank has dropped a lot but i i'll miss her when she's eliminated. i hope there's some opportunity for her beyond the show.

wa da da: kind of sick that no one chose wa da da 😭 the stage was pretty messy in my opinion but mana did great, she's such a performer. personally ranka isnt one of my picks but i like her intensity a lot & she definitely deserved her rank. i don't think this is her moment exactly but i could see her being recruited somewhere after this. she would suit a kind of dramatic vibe. karen is interesting to me because while she doesn't dance well i found that she really fit the stage. i also love her attitude. there's no way she won't rise but im not sure that itll be enough. last and least,

shine a light: im a big jo1 fan but i knew this wasn't gonna go great from the outset. the energy of the original song is part of what makes it so good so the fact that they removed that.....i also think it's kind of notable that hina said that she didn't want it to be a ballad and was kind of steamrolled........anyways. we saw the performance. i've always said that i wanted hazuki to get more screentime & establish herself and this was her chance but...rip. from the second her voice cracked it was over for the whole team. every single person messed up except for hina. i know that this wasn't a super strong vocal group but it's so sad that they did the worse they've ever done on stage. i expect hina's rank to continue to rise, and hazuki in particular will fall (not because she was the worse but because she has the smallest fanbase & isnt insulated from mistakes like some of the top contestants). curious about what will happen with chiharu because honestly...no one really expected her to sing super well and she was gorgeous so. we'll see

member commentary

change is always possible but this is my stable top 4. rino & ran's teams weren't in this episode but it's a very good sign that rino still got screentime singing well & being a good leader. not thrilled that her rank dropped (14 → 17) and there are a lot of strong contenders in the early teens right now. in truth, i think some of them would be a much better fit for a spin off project (which have much higher success rates than the ones from korean produce) & rino would make more sense in top 11 but that's neither here nor there.

mana, as i said earlier did sooooo well in wadada, although im curious as to what she would've picked had she been given a real choice. im hoping her rank will rise - she didn't get a push in this ep but she was significantly more visible than a lot of her teammates so fingers crossed.

serina is just a good [potential] idol. i was surprised that she went for dance since her vocals are what i noticed first but she pulled off run run well. i wouldve picked shine a light or even antifragile for her though. unfortunately she got very little screentime & storyline but i'm sure run run will win so maybe that 20k will help maintain her spot.

standouts in this ep

not gonna break it down again but yeah. love the girlies love the vibes

other thoughts

call me crazy but im so so sure that these three will be recruited by lapone for a gg after the show. with the top 11 having skewing less cute im hoping that this becomes a reality bc these three fit eachother more than they fit momona/nano/ran/rin/etc. oda aruha (and maybe moro anon) would be here too but alas.

people i'd like to have seen in this ep

rin is riding a wave right now and she needs momentum to stay top 11. looking at the ranks now, kokona dropped 10 places (19 → 29) 🙃 rinon & ayano are fine, but i wanted to see them keep momentum as well. i like akiyama ema for some reason but to survive she desperately needs screentime and a good performance. I'm even more worried about tsukushi - her dropping from 18th to 31st after doing incredibly well is kind of insane. what i've said about tsukushi needing a storyline in the past still stands. i can already tell that her part in bijin will be great but with rinon & keiko im not sure what her screentime potential is.

ep 6 voting list

no surprises here, although im not sure what the voting has been reduced to? if it's only 5 i'd have to go with mana, rino, rin, serina, and then alternate kokona, yui, and mayu. i know that the "this person is safe so i wont vote for them" logic is flawed but i can't help it. good thing intl fans cant vote so this isn't a real concern! 🤪 /s

ep 6 semi-realistic top 11

only change is that i replaced kokona with joa. i have to say, im not thrilled about how many "givens" there are this season. it's not that i dislike them but it makes for a kind of boring top 11, at least until we get to 1 & 2 pick voting. rin was a nice surprise but i think the production has been pretty mask off about their picks. interestingly, i think it might bite them in the butt that momona & kokoro in particular don't actually get that much screentime. for people who are seeing them through the show for the first time (and also dont keep up with twitter discourse) probably feel that their ranks came out of nowhere. ran has gotten good screentime but she's definitely also buoyed by her original fanbase. miu, joa, & tsuzumi have good screentime & storylines so when joa goes up to top 11 i won't be surprised. rin had a good storyline so she makes sense. ayane doesn't get very much screentime but her voice does the brunt of the work. nano is a (capable) visual pick but she doesn't have a storyline. suzu has had a fanbase since the theme song but i expect her to fall a little honestly. we'll see. keiko is new to the top 11 this ep, i hope they reveal the actual ranks this time because that will influence my thoughts. keiko has great screentime and a litle bit of storyline so her rising makes sense. kokona is interesting to me because her rank is so stable based on not very much honestly. i don't dislike her but her lack of expressiveness on stage is probably something they'll try to build a storyline out of later.

i have a lot of confidence that rino will debut elsewhere after this but in the interest of creating a group i would actually like...

[rue-dixon]

UGH I NEED TO TALK ABOUT THIS STUPID ORIGINAL STORY INSPIRED BY CHILCHUCK BUT I HAVE NO ONE TO LISTEN TO IM GOING TO TUMBLR

You can ignore this I just needa get it out somewhere

anyway it started out as a chil family au where Chilchuck and Meijack were knights serving a king and Meijack falling in love with a princess. But then I had an idea for an au about the whole family they were like in Ireland in the dark ages. Eventually I combined them together and took away the whole concept of it taking place in the dunmeshi universe. And instead put it in an original universe I already had and put them in an area that's based off Celtic mythology. So all the mythology was real so it was like Celtic fantasy kinda.

Then I realized I was changing the characters so much in appearance and personality (for Chilchuck and mickbell anyway) and that I was basically writing for scratch for Dandan, Meijack, Bellana (Chilwife), Puckpatti, and Flertom not to mention added a bunch of other original characters I thought "why am I limiting myself to it being an au" so I renamed and redesigned them all. They all still kinda look like their dunmeshi counterparts but that's ok.

I've already drafted out like 23 chapters so I just wanna vent about it cuz I'm never gonna like post it as a proper au fanfic or anything

Dandan is the only one I've made a REAL redesign for. But as you can see it still looks like him if you squint lmao. And his name is Danny (for now cus I still liked the idea of him going Dan but I might change it again)

OK THE ACTUAL PLOT

The Celt inspired people have a "peace treaty" with another ground of people inspired by the French (stay with me). The French will import lots of goods their people on the islands need in return every 20 years they take 50 "young men" (when in reality it's boys ages 15-20) to serve as knights for their military for 20 years.

Well at 15 Chilchuck's character gets picked along with his older brother Keegan (original character) bc they're very big as it runs in the family so they stand out a lot.

Chilchuck does his time, Keegan died during that time. But his lover and woman he proposed to literally the day he was taken, Bellana was pregnant with Maelock. (Meijack yes Ik very different leave me alone.) Maelock gets around 16, when she decided to go over seas because she can't wait another 4 years to meet her father and becomes a knight too in a desperate attempt to know him. Well while she's there she gets appointed to protect the princess and they fall in love secret love affair yada. Also Chilchuck's character becomes the captain of the royal forces, so he used the power he had to take Maelock home with him 4 years later when he retired.

(Which is what this drawing I did is about)

Anyway they come home. And Chilchuck is obviously very different. Not only as he went from 15 to 35 he's like severally traumatized bc yk war obviously. Because Maelock was more of a guard and wasn't there as long she's not as bad. She just seems very depressed bc she left the love of her life but no one knows that.

So most of the story is Chilchuck's character trying to become adjusted to "domestic life again." They have three more daughters. Bonnie (Flertom's counterpart), Paddy (Puckpatti), and Nessa (original). Which having young kids as he didn't get to see Maelock grow up is really hard for him and part of it is learning how to deal with it.

(Not to mention having to reconnect with his family and himself like he is in these sorta)

While Chilchuck's character is tired and wants to never touch a sword (unless it's for defeating monsters cuz the islands and literally CRAWLING with crazy ass creatures. That's another part of it) ever again in his entire life. But Bellana's brother Danny (Dandan) on the other hand is angry. Bc he has to raise Maelock as a father figure. He has to take care of his pregnant sister at only 12 years old. He had to watch the families grief back at him for years and suffer because of their sons being taken to literally DIE. And it's very rare the boys come back. Only like 6 out of the 20 came back including Chilchuck's character I think.

Danny wants an uprising. He was to break that contract. And he believes that since Chilchuck's experience and position with the kingdom over seas will help them. That they possibly had a chance to win with him. But Chilchuck's character doesn't want to fight. He's tired. He doesn't want to see anyone else die under his command. Danny is angry with his in law but more at the people who took him.

Chilchuck's character kinda keeps this mindset especially since he had all girls so none of them would get taken. It's not until him and Danny find a beggar boy in the snow after getting publicly punished for stealing to eat and his husky (changed Kuro to a real dog but might change the type again). It's a cold night and he'll probably die out there. So they take him in. They make a deal that if he works they'll feed him and clothe him and let him stay with them. Only rules are not to steal and don't speak or touch his daughters. Or he'll "put his head on a spike and feed his body to wild boars" lol.

(Them before I fully changed them. Mickbell and Chilchuck still need a proper redesign)

Well mickbells character (I CANNOT think of a new name for him.) is untrusting. Standoffish and his dislike for the family is very clear. But he is taken back by the kindness specially Bellana and Danny show him. Eventually he warms up to them and he sort of becomes part of the family. And he even falls for the second oldest daughter Bonnie (changed their ages so they're like the same age).

Well the date for when the kingdom comes back to take new boys is finally coming. And mickbells gotten pretty well built with the labor and being fed multiple times a day now. Chilchuck's character knows he'd definitely be chosen as he's only about 18, and it's pretty much pointless to hide him because the soldiers make sure no one can hide.

So finally Chilchuck's character decides alright I'll do something but it won't be war. (At least he hopes it won't cause one) so with his leadership the people of the village sunk the ship that came to collect them. Well this doesn't go well obviously, and the kingdom takes this as a broken treaty and they send battle ships.

They try to get as many people to the cliffs for safety as possibly. Because they literally cannot keep up with their technology (and they kingdom has use of magic while the Celtic people do not) so Chilchuck's character just tried to get everyone away with the rest of the family.

Accept for Maelock who knows for a fact that her life the Princess Willow (original) would have been crowned queen by now because she would've inherited the throne at 30 and she knew she was already way in her 30s. And it was costume for the leader or whatever. Maelock knew Willow enough to know she wouldn't do this on her own and it was probably the Queen 2 sessions before her (her grandma basically) pulling the strings as she had been for many years.

Maelock gets to the front of the battle finds Willow and tells her the truth behind everything. Willow and her parents were told by the grandmother that for years the men were coming willingly because they were paid very handsome sums for their work. And they were aloud to visit their families and etc etc just a bunch of lies.

Willow calls it off. As queen she issues a formal apology to the people and sets a new issue where they kingdom and island and trade partners and nothing more. With Willow and Maelock being together again they marry which also furthers a real peace between each country. Maelock does go live with Willow over seas but she tries to visit her family often.

I want Chilchuck's character to die. Either just from old age or he gets cursed. But I figured that wouldnt happen in the canon time line so I've just left

Anyways I know no one actually sat here and read this whole thing but IF YOU DID omg??? Thank you so much hope this wasn't a huge waist of your time Abe I love you sm 😭🙏

(Bonus drawing cuz I didn't really have a talking point to fit it with lol. But the two of them have complete redesigns too I just haven't gotten to drawing then out yet.)

[sieglinde-freud]

but what if the entire lucina gang were sent to fates instead of just 3??

ANON IM SORRY THIS TOOK ME LIKE FIVE YEARS TO GET TO i got the ask and i was like “omg i literally have something in my notes about this i’ll pull it up when i have time” and then i just fucking forgot. sorry. and then i remembered again. and then life started like rapid fire punching me in the face. but im here now im answering it now im so sorry anyways its probably gonna be long and unorganized so cut

okay anyways so i think there’s a lot of different ways you can implement the second gen into fates and firstly my favorite and also the most stupid way to do so and also what i have in my notes is to split em all up between the four nohrian royals. they all get three new retainers from bumfuck nowhere and it makes no sense and it creates the worst dynamics ever. i assigned them like this:

xander: inigo, kjelle, laurent

camilla: severa, noire, yarne

leo: owain, cynthia, nah

elise: gerome, brady, lucina

and then morgans not there bc they throw off the even split but i think in that case, maybe corrin gets both of them? i think thatd be cute. anyways i’d be willing to move any of them like im not that attached to these placements, but i quite like the potential lord retainer dynamics that happen here. kjelle and laurent might seem a bit too similar to xander in terms of stoicism but hear me out. i think raging feminist man hating lesbian kjelle being tossed to work under xander would be fucking hilarious. you know how inigo almost beat xander in that match? guess who’d wipe the floor with him. and then i think laurents like. like laurent is normal passing. but you see he also has the pent up rage of an bullied 13 year old soon to be if not corrected incel and i think having that be explored with xander would be actually fucking hilarious. imagine one day xander is just like “hey laurent can you do something for me?” and laurent, whos been dealing with reeling back in inigo and kjelle (and uh. maybe peri if shes still here i havent thought that part through) and is absolutely sick of everyones bullshit just snaps and goes “NO! NO I FUCKING CANT!” and everyone in nohr just has this feeling of unease. something in the universe just broke.

and then with camilla i was like “well who would she dote on the most” and i picked noire and yarne. i can understand why yarne might be controversial because he is not a cute girl HOWEVER consider that he IS a cute rabbit. very cute. and hes terrified of everything all the time. i think camilla would find that charming and i think he would be terrified of her but also like. extremely devoted?? like i think he’d respect and look up to her a lot. just. just let me do that twenty feet away from you. please (lonqu!yarne????) but also i think theres very motherlike aspect to camilla that i think could eventually break through yarnes anxiety if she just started approaching him a little differently. and also the fact that shes one of nohrs best warriors and would murder anyone who comes close to harming him would probably help feel a little more secure in not dying. like it wouldnt fix him but it might help. and then noire is similar except she IS a cute girl and also i think camilla would be insanely into her talisman persona. make of that what you will i dont know but also going back to camilla as a motherish figure so obviously all of the future kids moms kicked the bucket meaning they all lacked proper mother figures for a good chunk of their lives, but noire never really had a proper mother figure… at all? bc bad timeline tharja was fucking abusive! so i think if she could find some of what she was missing in camilla, whether of not its particularly healthy i dont know but i think if she could that’d set up something interesting between them. theres also the fact that camilla and tharja are slightly similar in their callousness, only that camillas isnt aimed at her allies like tharjas sometimes is. i think that could actually end up being really comforting for noire in an oddly familiar way. healthy? debatable. but… interesting. DO YOU GUYS SEE MY VISION AM I INSANE

and then leo. ok im iffy on these guys like i could move them. but i think cynthia would be a nice retainer for leo to have bc i think they could have a fun “woah youre so cool! like a real hero” “im not the hero you think i am or want me to be” conversation and that wouldnt require cynthia to be his retainer to have but i think it would be nice. im not sure he’d send her on the same missions he sent odin on because shes not cosplaying as the worlds greatest mage (… or is she… no i dont think she’d abandon her pegasus) so theyd get on a lot easier at first. nah is here because i wanted to give leo a break and also i think leo being curious about a manakete thats similar but also not too much similar to corrin would be interesting. idk tho this is my least favorite placement. would be willing to switch.

and then for elise’s new retainers its interesting because shes the only nohr royal who didnt get an awakening kid so. ive given her three new ones. ger bear is here bc i think itd be fucking hilarious. yes, maybe itd make more sense to put him with xander or leo. i dont care though. i want him to bow down to the littlest princess of nohr, nohrs absolute sunshine, blah blah blah. also i think it’d be good for him. dude needs some sunshine. brady i was a little iffy on. i almost placed him with leo and im not sure where i prefer him actually, but i stuck him with elise because i think in some way, elise might, at first glance, remind him a bit of his mother. and kinda like with noire im not sure if its the healthiest way to go about his grief because elise is evidently not maribelle, but i think it could be a fun little arc for him to go through to try and break that image and learn to not project everything he wished maribelle couldve done for him onto elise. bradys a real funky guy i want him to go through some turmoil. and then lucina is here because i love their warriors support conversation and i think lucina being around elise could be so incredibly healing to the part of her that never got a chance to be a kid. and elise is a really fucking smart character yk i think she’d catch on really easily to how much lucina represses and try to bring it out of her. actually this goes for gerome and brady too i think she’d see a lot of her siblings in them and try to bring out as much of their childishness as she can because FUCK!!! these bitches are SAD!!! send help!!

this au is incredibly unrealistic and jambled but i just like thinking about it. i have no idea how this would affect the plot of fates. nohr’s army just gets a huge fucking power boost i guess???? they could probably kill anankos on their own. i believe it. but im quite honestly not all that interested in the giant plot i just like thinking about how the characters might interact and change. the nohrian royals and the awakening gen are just. so insane. and i didnt even bring up the rest of the fates cast (this post is fucking LONG ENOUGH) but i will be thinking. oh yes i will be thinking.

[hms-no-fun]

where did the inspiration for cat!dave come from. i love it btw, im just curious where it came from

catdave, like a lot of stuff in the gf3 prologue, just sort of happened. it's one of those things where in writing that chapter, jade grabbed a button that did a thing as a way to keep their villain-narrator honeypot from collapsing, and i decided to roll with it. turning dave into a house cat seemed like a fun gag, especially considering awkweet purrmusk and davepeta and all that. karkat picking up catdave with horror and protectiveness was really funny to me, just like NO HE'S MY BOYFRIEND YOU LEAVE MY SPECIAL MAN ALONE. then i thought, wait, what if a cat had time-distortion powers. what if catdave was like, i'm the hottest fucken kitty that ever did strut, i'ma slow down time and make everyone admire me. that joke alone was enough to keep catdave in, and i figured okay, we'll roll with this for a minute and then reverse it at the end and it'll be a funny anecdote. "hey remember that time dave turned into a cat?"

but unfortunately for dave, this is godfeels. i can't ever just do a fun joke about transformation. if we're gonna accept that jade has a button that can turn people into the animal they secretly want to be, that's gotta have CONSEQUENCES. what is this, fucking rick & morty??? there will be no resetting to the status quo at the end of THIS episode thank you very much!

of course by the time i got to publishing that first catdave chapter i'd figured all this out. dave's sort of defined by his repression and embarrassment at himself and his wants. i've imagined him sticking to his "i don't want to be a hero" thing very closely, and with that just kinda chilling with karkat all the time. (oh there's actually a funny pseudo-continuity error related to this-- in gf1 someone mentions what makes dave and karkat such a good couple. i'd imagined then that davekat were absolutely a totally out gay together couple. then the epilogues said actually no they were still too repressed to actually DO anything, and i decided to lean into that because two incredibly gay men no-homoing together for seven years is really funny/tragic to me from a story perspective. and since i decided to make gf2 parallel the epilogues, it seemed appropriate to fold that back in. i think in gf2 this gets papered over with june being surprised that they hadn't kissed yet? but that's def a thing that changed between fics from my perspective lmao)

so it seemed to me that catdave was a minor analogue to trickster mode- an unexpected jump straight to Personal Apotheosis without the journey necessary to give it any meaning. and that quickly mapped onto the problem of out queer people treating obvious eggs like their own Pet Project, pressuring them and pushing their boundaries even when it IS to some extent what they want. so dave keeps his cat ears and tail because he's a closeted furry with Some Gender, but because his friends all thought the transformation was funny and cute the end result was actually pushing him even further back into the closet. and since i knew that we were aiming towards davekat divorce fever anyway, that felt like the *perfect* dramatic intervention on his character. this is the hardest part of building an ensemble cast drama; giving everyone something Clear and Concise to deal with that can stand in for all their problems, so we can cut right to the chase when necessary.

this process is, in microcosm, the fundamental backbone of godfeels. it's about taking deadly seriously the personal and existential ramifications of extraordinarily silly impossible bullshit.

[fallenrain40]

Hey! Ignore this if it's too personal or even if you just don't want to, but I've been wanting to ask for a while

What is it like being a therian? It seems like a really special but challenging experience, and I would love to hear your story if you're willing to share. What are some things you wish non-therians knew? What are some of your favorite and least favorite parts about it? How did you discover you were a therian?

Thanks, again sorry if it's too personal. I love your blog (especially your art). You're a very cool person, keep doing cool person things.

(Also R.I.P. to the sensory issues. I'm not autistic I don't think, but I have sensory issues also and it suuuuuuucckks. Good luck).

HI!! so, well, hm... it's hard to explain honestly it's just how I've always felt my whole life. Like imo, I didn't know the word therian existed back then, but I never felt human. Whenever I played games, I always played as an animal cause it felt right. And people always acted as wanting to be an animal was something all kids did and eventually grew out of, but I clearly did not. And it always felt like something bigger than just pretending. being human never felt like ME. I do know my body is human- (though some therians don't see there experience the same way as mine and I feel like they need to be respected a bit more), but human not who I am underneath that. my human body is so surface level and doesn't really tell you anything about who or what I am. I've always felt a large disconnect between my physical body and identity. When I found the word therian- which I discovered probabblyy when I was like 14?? (maybe younger idk my memory is wonderful /sarc) I didn't use it right away since I wasn't really sure I was allowed to- I kept that thought in my head of "well what if I grow out of this?" but as I got older I was like okay. I'm not growing out of this feeling (and even if I had turned out to be wrong, it wouldn't be as big of a deal as my mind was making out of it lol). funny enough that's also how I felt about being ace for a while, since I suspected that since I was 12. both things were something I knew deep down I would always be, a core part of who I am, but felt nervous about actually using those labels just in case. and then got older and was like oh wow this isn't changing, ig i was right LOL. though I'm still not out irl cause my mom sucks and won't even accept my sister being bi smh. but online I'm very open about it haha. I also thought I was just a wolf for a while which, turned out I was actually a coyote. though, I am a poly therian so I have multiple types, I still somewhat identify as a wolf but it's just? not in the same way I am a coyote. a lot of the things that didn't add up as a wolf make SO MUCH SENSE as a coyote, it's silly I didn't figure it out earlier on (some specific things were having a shorter coat, bigger ears, smaller size, omnivorous, more likely to hunt alone, hunts by stealth, ect).

to those who aren't therians- I guess I just wish they were more accepting of what they can't understand. I've seen a lot of "ew therian cringe" on other platforms and it's extremely annoying, how people just instantly jump to look down on something they don't know anything about. I also wish they knew the therian experience can be VERY DIFFERENT from depending on who you talk to. and they're all equally valid. basically like- if you've met 1 therian, you've met 1 therian. not all of them. ANYWAYS SORRY THIS WAS VERY LONG, TY FOR THE ASK, YOU SEEM VERY COOL TOO!! /GEN tbh i was going to write MORE but ohmygosh im gonna write a whole book at this point HGHFCHVJ (and yeah sensory issues are so very mean. its annoying how some days they r chill and i'm like "hm maybe i dont have them that bad-" AND THEN BAM IF THE AIR IS SLIGHTLY DIFFERENT I WILL CRY LOL)

[fearowkenya]

Winds of Change

In a perfect world, all it takes to make things right with Lopmon is a punch to the face and a sincere apology. In a perfect world, if the timing's just right, the worst can be avoided. In a perfect world, it's easy to make amends. But this is not a perfect world, and Shuuji has to take the good with the bad if he and Lopmon are going to come out of this mess stronger.

Chapter One: Clouds on the Horizon Shuuji's trying his best to recuperate from what happened in the waterway, but it's difficult to recover when Ryo's determined to commit a misdemeanor

ao3 link in source, extended end-of-chapter author's notes below cut!

chapter 1 of this behemoth of a fic ive been working on is finally out!!! it's taken me just over a month to get the whole thing done, and im really excited to be posting it. i hope my formatting is okay - i dont have a beta reader, so im stuck relying on my own perspective. it's not a big deal now, but as the rest of the fic is published, i can see myself getting a little worried about structure and pacing.

the driving force of this fic was my dissatisfaction with the tonal dissonance that part 6 has during truthful route. in every other route, it works GREAT. but because nothing bad really happened in truthful save for some ooh ahh scary fog, the kids' fearful reactions seem totally exaggerated, and it's such a shame! so one of the main ideas behind this fic is figuring out what would have to happen in part 5 truthful that could make all the mistrust and paranoia in part 6 actually feel warranted.

if you've read the chapter, you know what my answer is! i won't elaborate on it now, but when i post chapter 2 next week, you know i am absolutely not going to shut the fuck up about it.

the other driving force behind this fic is actually two small things rolled into one.

first: there's an easily missable conversation between ryo and shuuji during part 6 if you click around in the shopping district. it's so silly. i love it. i didn't see it during my first play of truthful, so when i found it during my current one, i damn near fell out of my chair when i clicked on the ice cream cooler. fuckin got jumpscared by ryo and shuuji's portrats popping up like a pair of bowling pins out of nowhere.

second: ryo and shuuji just don't show up at ALL during the fight against garurumon. like i know the reason they don't is because the game dev situation was probably quite dire and they had to cut stuff in order to make deadlines. it kinda sucks, but i imagine it was totally out of their control. im sure if they had the time and resources they wanted, there wouldve been an alternate version of this fight where shuuji and ryo are included, but im actually not super bothered by it because it means i get to ask the question "so what were they doing instead???" well, if you take the stupid ice cream cooler conversation into account, it implies that the reason that shuuji and ryo miss SUCH A MAJOR FIGHT is because they're too busy having their stupid competition. Unbelievable. but that's actually quite convenient for me, because that's the exact window of time where half the segments of this fic take place.

anyway, that's gonna do it for chapter 1 notes! thank you for reading this far, and i'll be back with chapter 2 next week!

[1-up-chump]

Assorted fallout 4 companion opinions

Preston is not boring he's simple. He's just a guy trying his best to do good in a fucked world and he's hanging by a thread. It's not his fault bethesda radiant quests suck.

Strong is wasted potential as a character. He should have been more than a dumb brute companion with the only difference being "he's not aggressive to you" he should have been a rather "smarter than the average mutant" and know a lot of advanced words and how to properly apply them (but mispronouncing them terribly) due to his interest in literature.

A super mutant who does super mutant things but can wax poetic about his POV as a mutant would've been a great companion. I know the "milk of kindness" being taken literally is a joke but honestly i was expecting strong to eventually "get it" and figure out why human so strong is bc of compassion that helps them lead a group and not a show of brute strength (which is why strong thought fist was a terrible leader bc he didn't care about his brothers, but with his dialogue it seems like he only cares about your ability to kill as long as you dont say mean things?) and like, Maybe strong is a bit NICER to travel with and his opinions could change to thinking humans are decent at most.

Nick should have had more side quests involving him. More mysteries to solve, hell i had an idea for at least a mod quest that if you side with the institute a scientist who's interested in older tech to improve advanced tech offers to fix the holes in nick's synth skin bc C'mon we are traveling the god damn commonwealth full of trash, irradiated water, and bullets from who knows where like how has nick not gotten some radroaches trying to make a nest in his chest cavity. It would make for some great dialogue and philosophy of "are you content with yourself even if you could fix some problems? What are you willing to trade off?" And give players options while hearing out both sides.

Piper also should have more side quests involving interviews with certain characters, maybe after completing certain quests you can go back to them with piper and maybe get additional quests involving old ones to tie loose ends? Or the very least have an opportunity for your character to voice their opinion on the events

Maccready. WHERE IS HIS SON????? i DID ALL THAT FOR THE GUY JUST FOR HIM TO KEEP FUCKING AROUND WITH ME AND NOT GO TO HIS DAMN SON??? Now it sounds super awful to say but the only possible outcome for his story to conclude is, macready leaves the commonwealth for a few days, and in a few days daisy wants to talk to you and she says to talk to maccready in the third rail. Turns out when maccready left to ensure the cure gets to his son, it was too late. The man is in an awful state and you gotta pass a few charisma checks to keep him in the commonwealth as a companion.

Gage. It makes some sense for him to turn on you too when you open season the raider leaders. HOWEVER, the leaders were needy dicks anyways and YOU'RE the boss so why can't you: replace the gang leaders with someone else you personally like OR Tell gage "im the boss, you got me here, you deal with me. You're lucky i like you so much" and establish dominance and give gage a sexual awakening. Gage will hate you for a few moments but ultimately with everything he said to you about his views and personal code he has to agree that you really are better/worse than colter.

That or bully him into being not a raider by either saying "do you REALLY wanna fight me?" Or "being a raider sucks this is actually beneficial for everyone even assholes like you" like the whole of nuka world would've been cooler to be like an actual fleshed out raider and not generic "haha im mean" but a "if its kill or be killed then im gonna kill the status quo to become god"

Cait is perfect in every way ngl i have nothing else to say about her except i love her

[kakujis]

i talk about yone for too long under the cut:

i was literally rotting in bed and tehn decided to watch both the spirit blossom cinematics that centered on yone and its sooo interesting. he's such an interesting guy. cus in "the path, an ionian myth" he's so... not older brother-like. he's literally just a guy wandering around, trying to figure things out as he follows ahri. it's such an interesting contrast compared to kin of the stained blade where in yasuo's eyes yone is only ever his big brother. his big brother that although he defies he clearly looks up to, like he's someone who's got it all figured out.

like, another point is when yasuo says "i won't fail you," but yone replies, "it seems i've already failed you." like... imagine the pressure of dealing with your rebellious younger brother, who loves to fight meanwhile you fucking hate it. (we see this so many times! from the path cinematic where he's haunted by the battlefield to when he tells yasuo 'there will always be another fight, yasuo, finding it proves nothing'). ig what i'm getting at is... yone makes me so sad. he's so clearly disillusioned by the battlefield, the war, and violence that he tries soo hard to make sure yasuo doesn't have to see the horrors of it. yet yas can't see that because he's well.. at the school.

i also wanna touch on yone's response when yasuo says "you don't have anything to prove" CUS ITS SO FUCKING TELLINGKAJSDNFJKDSF THAT THESE TWO BROTEHRS ARE SO SIMILAR YET NO ONE TALKSSSS. yasuo is proving his worth through fighting and battle, while yone is trying to prove to his younger brother that he doesnt have to do these things. there's no point. he's trying to prove that violence should only be used when necessary.

yone's whole shtick is honor right? but i feel like underneath it all, yone wants to play this savior of ionia because he hates violence so much. he's devastated when it's presumed yasuo kills master soma (i think thats his name) because he's already seen so much death and carnage. on the battlefield you don't know your enemy, but someone like that is closer. it feels like yas killed a part of yone when he did that idk i might b reaching.

like imo, there's a reason why yone treasures lilia so much. she's a dreamer, she's fighting and "venturing out of her garden" for good, etc. and i feel like you see that in the path... he's also somewhat a dreamer, at least it's expressed in his childlike wonder when he gets excited seeing the tranquility and beauty of the spirit world. but still, he sees that darkness (the gate) and it's so familiar that he waltzes in anyway. he's stuck in both lives, as a general in one and an azakana hunter in another. but at least in his new form, he can actually fight when he wants to.

okay this is so stupid long but i also love the idea that both brothers had to face their regrets/fears. for yone, that's him on the field, that's the ionians he couldn't save, the people he killed, and in turn he killed himself. 'you could have saved them,' felt so similar to 'if you're not a murderer, why are you running?' like both of them are running from death. they're both trying to escape, except yasuo got out and yone didn't. but what's funny is that they still emotionally and theoretically end up in the same place.(i WILL NOT TALK ABOUT THIS UNLESS ASKED CUS IM RAMBLING TOO MUCH!!!)

anyways thats it i loe yone so much im gonna hurl. im so happy he's just a band mom with a strained relationship w his brother in heartsteel. long live yone <3

[elvenbeard]

omg i wanna know more about vince's arasaka ex-boyfriend! he looks cute! hope he's not a dick. but then again you gotta be a certain level of dick to survive in arasaka so maybe im setting myself up. do the other co-workers know or was it a hush-hush thing?

AAHHH!!! öashdfafd thanks so much for asking!!! BETTER BUCKLE UP, this is gonna be long and angsty xDD

(putting his not-100%-polished or canon appearance here again cause I like having pics with my long posts XD)

Okay so... his name is Shou, like Vince he is half-Japanese, but he actually grew up and spent the majority of his life in Japan. He comes from a similar background as Vince, too, corpo-family with ties to Arasaka, excellent education, good grades, a little bit of an outsider even, but he never intermittently left the corpo world like Vince did. He got his entry-level position job at Arasaka fresh out of university and has been (outwardly) loyal and obedient ever since, rising in ranks in no time.

He's roughly 10 years older than Vince, and in 2074 gets transferred to Night City from Tokyo, to help with the expansion of the Counterintel department there. Technically he's on Jenkins' level, experience- and skill-wise, but since everything works a bit differently in Night City, for the time being he ends up a part of Jenkins' team on a level with Vince. It would've been Jenkins' duty to show Shou the ropes actually, but he delegates the task to good old Agent V instead, and that's how they first properly get to know and work with each other.

Let's just say, there is definitely an instant curiosity/interest and base-level of attraction from both sides XD Vince and Shou work well together, share a lot of common interests, have similar ambitious personalities, (both of them are a little bit of a dick, really), and inevitably they also spend a lot of time together. The one thing that Vince is most interested in though, that Shou always seems to avoid answering directly, is why he volunteered to come to Night City from Tokyo. Most people V knows that are striving to rise to the top would wish for it to be the other way around. Shou is always like "I wanted a change of scenery", "I wanted to broaden my horizon", "It looks good on my resume to be in the teamlead of this project" and so on, but none of that feels 100% genuine and so Vince keeps his walls up and tries to maintain a professional distance, despite really liking him otherwise. Emphasis on "tries", cause Shou is not making it easy for him either xD

Some time passes, Vince is still adamant about not wanting a relationship with a coworker (also because he is low-key worried if he lets someone into his life too closely, they might discover he's in contact with Jackie and leaking very classified company secrets to him now and then). But still, one evening Shou and him end up alone at a bar together and one thing leads to another...

Initially their relationship was definitely more on the hush-hush side, not because they were ashamed of it or anything, but because Vince didn't want to be blamed with treating Shou favorably over the others in his team because he was sleeping with him. As time went on though the others definitely caught on, and there was a little bit of drama and bad blood, but nothing they didn't know how to deal with. They had to make it official towards Jenkins and the head of the department at the time soon-ish after becoming a thing anyway though, to not run into problems on that side either, but it went surprisingly smooth. Vince actually was very very happy at the time and wouldn't have figured to ever find someone he'd click so well with that he started to imagine a long-lasting future together.

Long story short though... It never came to that. I mentioned in the lore post that their relationship ended abruptly and bitter, and yeah. Let's just say, Shou hadn't come to Night City for a change of scenery, but as part of an elaborate plan he'd been setting up for years to get out of Arasaka for good, make a bunch of money in the process, and disappear from the face of the earth. Fuck off to somewhere where they'd never be able to track him down, the Soviet Union or something like that. He hadn't planned on genuinely falling in love with Vince though.

Aware that Vince was (apparently) very loyal to Arasaka, he also knew it would need some effort to convince him to come along with him, leave everything behind for good and start over somewhere new. So, what's his idea here? Make it seem like Vince is leaking info to a competing corp by messing with his computer and files. He abused Vince's trust to basically force him to come with him, cause at the press of a button he'd be able to notify Jenkins of Vince’s “betrayal” and he would have no other choice but to run away. Vince figures this out accidentally, and just briefly before Shou can set him up in a way so that there would’ve been no turning back. Since Vince is *actually* leaking company info, just not to a corp but his best friend whose safety he’s now also extremely scared for, he kind of has to make a choice between “run away with the love of my life” and “run to Jenkins and tell him about the setup before Shou can go through with his plan”. And he ends up choosing Jenkins out of loyalty to Jackie.

Let’s just say… the ensuing chaos did not end well for neither Shou nor Vince, but at least Vince walks out of it somewhat alive. Shou never felt in the wrong btw (and really, he was not wrong to want to get himself and Vince out of Arasaka asap). He did what he did out of love, genuinely convinced it was the only thing and the right thing he could've done. Best, most loving intentions, worst possible execution.

(one day, when I have Vince in NPV format, be ready for gut-wrenching VP of all of this. I'M NOT OKAY ABOUT THEM. Also, imagine the very awkward convo with Kerry later on that starts with "So, I told you everything about Louise... now how did your last relationship end?")