#anyways im a jeff lover sorry not sorry
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DOUBLE TAKE (13/19) MELANIE LYNSKEY and WARREN KOLE as SHAUNA SADECKI and JEFF SADECKI Yellowjackets | 2.03— Digestif
#saying “shauna sadecki” instead of “shauna shipman” feels weird bro#anyways im a jeff lover sorry not sorry#hes my himbo <3#melanie lynskey#warren kole#shauna shipman#jeff sadecki#jeffshauna#guys wtf are the ship names for this show theyre so fucking boring#yellowjackets#yellowjackets showtime#yellowjacketsedit#digestif#yellowjackets 2x03#2x03#from the cutlery drawer#spatulas (gifs)#tw gun
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Jeff The Killer a.k.a Jeffery Woods
(Scent Headcanon)
•Jeff is similar in scent to Liu, taking a slightly more spicy wooded approach to his scent. Bolder than Liu’s smell but almost always following similar scent families but is always pushing towards stronger more intense smells.
•He leans more towards somewhat muskier and amber like smells as well. His scent is unique and somewhat on the stronger side (i feel it has on occasion gotten him nearly caught)
(DISCLAIMER PLEASE DO NOT MIX THE COLOGNES I HAVE PICKED I AM A LOVER OF PERFUMES NOT A PROFESSIONAL)
With the basics of his scent down, I feel Jeff always picks either a more generic cologne that has a bit of a spin to it (like special editions under the same name or stronger ones). Typically following ones Liu has used or liked while also finding ones he enjoys more within the same line up. For this i’ve gone for about 3 that give off his vibe, Spicy, somewhat wooded/citrusy, with a very confident smell to them.
Those are…..
-Versace Eros Flame (Cool Spice with Italian Lemon, Pepperwood and Vetiver)
-Bad Boy Cobalt Elixir (Earthy/Herbal with Sage, Black Truffle and Resinous Wood)
-Dolce & Gabbana K (Citrus/Woods with Patchouli, Cedarwood, Pimento, Sicillian Lemon and Blood Orange)
Out of all of these my top pick would likely be Versace Eros Flame or D&G K, though i do think he would have each of these within his collection to swap around depending on his mood. As you can see Bad Boy Cobalt Elixir is the sligjtly stronger edition of Liu’s Bad Boy Cobalt. As well as Flame being another version of the OG Versace Eros, much like how Liu had the Versace Eros Energy in his line up.
I’m so sorry for late/inconsistant posts, i keep trying to post these and they just never seem to do it at the times i want. If anyone has any tips as to wwy some days the post button will let me write up a post and some days it wont PLEASE TELL ME IM LOSING IT!!!!!! Anyways here is the drawing i made as usual of Jeff, its been years since i drew him and i’m testing out somewhat newer styles with it so i hope you enjoy! Next up i’m considering doing Jane then moving on to the rest of our favorite guys 💕 Thanks ya’ll
#jeffery woods#jeff the killer#jeff creepypasta#laughing jack#slenderverse#brian hoodie#creepypasta#creepypasta fandom#eyeless jack#hoodie marble hornets#jane the killer#masky marble hornets#ben drowned#creepypasta headcanon
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"Miles it's me!"
Prowler!Miles x Spiderhero!Reader (gender neutral)
cw: angst,Jeff being funny,mentions of Jeff death (sorry it's earth 42 😭),tears,no comfort (maybe there will be on part two) "betrayal" and a big misunderstanding
Hii! This is my first time writing hehehe give me a chance and please be nice :D im gonna do a ending to this fic but it's gonna take a while
I'm more than happy to write requests so don't be shy!!
You are Miles lover..but you are also the friendly neighborhood Spider hero! While Miles is the Prowler! And the worst..you both didn't know that
But you never thought Prowler was a bad guy,he actually helped people too but- he kinda hates you for some reason
maybe he was jealous of the amount of popularity you have and how you are incredible strong and how your suit was soooo pretty so yeah,who cares about Prowler anyways? He's a douchebag
As for Miles..He is the best!!
He looks like he is trying to poop everytime with that "scary" face of him but he is really sweet and respectful boy
he respects your space and supports your decisions,he is great with gifts (handmade or purchased) and never fails to make you feel especial regardless of anything ♡
You were great friends with his family too! They love you! But, something happened
His dad was captain Morales,he passed away doing his job..being a hero without spider powers or something like that yeah good guy
You remembered that when he was alive he didn't liked the ideia of a masked hero around (another jealous man),but after some events you kinda "worked together" to protect the peace at the city
The Spiderhero and captain Morales protecting our dear Brooklyn! couldn't get better
he enjoyed talking about his son and you can't deny it was fun to see what Miles was like from his father's point of view
"My boy has a beautiful significant other,i consider them as my own child! You know? Don't tell anybody but i kinda get jealous on how much of attention my wife put on them cause like,does she like them more then me?!! That's unacceptable hmfp"
Yeah and things like that was really fun too
But that day you couldn't saved him
You tried.. But unfortunately it didn't worked
Miles was devastated..you felt so guilty every day for not being able to save his dad but you always comforted him whenever he need it and he is very grateful for that
If you thought you were nobody under your hero mask you are sorely mistaken! You are everything to Miles,you are his hero
it's been sometime since that happened and everything seems to be okay
Until now
It was a random night you were patrolling the city when you ended up realizing that you were close to where Miles lived
It wouldn't hurt anyone to take a look would it?
But the last thing you expected to see was this
And this i mean
Prowler on the rooftop at Miles building
[•••]
What if he is planning to hurt Miles? You couldn't let that happen, could you?
You were ready to attack him sneakily but his mask came off
Curious to know who your unbearably annoying enemy is you decided to wait a while
Then..you saw him!Miles Morales was the Prowler,and he wasn't alone..Aaron was with him
You were surprised! Who wouldn't tbh
You decided to stay a little longer to see what he is going to do:
- Miles..we will finally catch that spider,i can feel it.- said Aaron
- Yeah,i can't wait for that Tio (uncle) Aaron
You noticed that Aaron seemed to be hesitant to tell Miles something,then he said:
- Look Miles,they.. could be anyone -you thought to yourself "does he know I'm the spider hero!?-
- What are you trying to say?
- I'm trying to say that - he hesitates one more time - don't forget why we are doing all this ok? Mi hermano (my brother) ..Your dad, está muerto (is dead) because that "hero" couldn't save him,they saved everyone but couldn't bother to save him and - Before Aaron could say more Miles interrupt him
- I know tio,don't worry - his mask returns to his face - esta noche(tonight)..I'm gonna kill that spider
You know what he said
You know what he is planning to do
Miles..the boy you love
Is going to kill you
[•••]
You are on the edge of the building
The only thing keeping you from falling is Prowler
He got his claws ready to kill you
Your heart is beating fast
"I don't want to die! I can't die yet! I don't want to get killed by him! Miles please!"you thought:
- Who are you?
- I... - he moves his claws closer to your face
With his claws he slowly takes off your mask
When he took the mask off you ,tears rolled down from your eyes
That look of fear and your watery eyes
Made Miles heart break
"This wasn't supposed to happen"
Miles thought
"Why is this happening?":
- Miles.. - you said whispering looking at him
Miles is feeling a lot of emotions
He is scared
He is angry
He is confused
And he is sad
Miles face is revealed
You see a tear fall down from his eye:
- Amor.. - you can hear by his voice that he is hurt
He don't want to do this,he can't do this!
But still
Miles doesn't let go of you:
- Miles..look i know why you are doing this! And i swear my love i really tried to save him!
"My love" he loves when you call him that,you always call him with so full of love on your voice that always make he feels warm
But is he feeling warm now that you are calling him? With so much despair trying to prove your point?
He close his eyes for a second and looked away as if he was trying to ignore you:
- Please! The fact that i couldn't save him still hunts me..Look at me Miles
He looked at you
More tears fall down from your eyes:
- The hardest thing about this job is that you can't save everybody..It took me a while to accept this but it's the truth
It took a while to accept this? That made Miles wonders if you even asked to be a hero at all
He loosens his grip a little
You wanted to tell him everything
How much it hurts you to be a hero
But you keep it to yourself:
- I know it hurts Miles,i know you want to kill me but please..Those people - you you looked around - they need me..let me do for them what i couldn't do for you
He moves his claws close to your face
You look deep into his eyes and said:
-Please..if you find a little sympathy in your heart.. forgive me for everything- you said honestly - I love you Miles
you shut your eyes and...
[•••]
Please be patient cause this fanfic will have a ending!! Thank you for reading ♡
#atsv#atsv x reader#spiderman atsv#spiderman#miles morales#miles x reader#miles 42#prowler miles#miles morales prowler#atsv prowler#prowler x reader#prowler miles x spider reader#prowler miles x spiderwoman reader#prowler miles x spiderman reader#spiderman reader#spiderwoman reader#angst#gender neutral reader#miles x y/n
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16 jan
2025 #3
hai tumblr lucky number 3 (or maybe thats 7 BUT ILL GET BACK TO U ON DAY 7)!!! School decent now im out the shower with my fingernails about to fuckign fall off ok.
Omg whats so fucking crazy is the dsmp drama atm wdym back in like 2020 i was watvhing them all be friends laughing together and now THIS is happebing. Likeee what. Im so fucking full up coz i ate a small meal like 5 hours but i ksut want mozzarella sticks SO BADwell. Technically called halloumi fries but taht just sounds gross af . Anyway. School. These fuckass boys keep saying i have a big nose LIKE I DONT ALREADY FUCJING KNOW but its so embarrasing coz theyll say it and no one even notices them like ur looking a little desperate. But like its kinda my first experience ever with first hand bullying and im js thinking like this is no fun at all tbh. I JUST FEEL SO LONELY ALL THE TIME IM ACTUALLY DONE lowkey consider offing myself often solely because of my lack of friends. Like thats js not thr wwy to live is it. But then it all goes away whn im back at school so im just waitng. OOHHHBFUCK NO ITS FRIDAY!!! i just like wednesdays and thursdays NO GEOGRAPHY!!!!! I fucking hate geographys nd im terrified of my fucking bitchass geography tracher god shes so fuckijg rude. Okmore about my day:::
In drama my ljke bff (in myclass afleast) didnt wanna talk to me or snyrhjng and i was just ljek. Oh. Even tho we're the closest to eachtoehr in the class and i jsut dont see why not so i ahd to pair with people who are like bffs w eschtojer and i jsut so wasnt feleing it. And then the meanest girl in my class was crying all day and im jsjt sorta like ca n someone get. Her emotional support like it ruins the vibe so bsd. Had a maths test and couldnt answer a single question and lunch was awkward af but i saw my crush alot so idm so mich AND LIKE NOW THAT I LOOK BACK ON THE DAY LJTERALLT NOTJING HAPPENED
Then i went to chemist and boight mabelline like magic stick or whatever tf they call it but it was lokwey in thr weong shade and makes me look like a ghost BUT I THINK I CAN MAKE IT WOrk. Im not wasting 10 fuckign quid no way like that shits expensive AND AFTER MONTHHSS OF WANTING I FOIND BURTS BEES POMEGRANATE LIPBALM. Lowkey shit doesnteven smell very good or tint lips and it made stupid alarm go off snd it scared me so bad what if they think i stole it and thry track me down. Abyway! Im just so out of it today bothing good happened nad im bored and im not excited tor tomorrow but im kinda excited actually because i can yap to friend in biologyfor 2 periods straight and theres a lockdown happening mid geography SO LIKE BASICALLY NO GEOGRAPHY IF U THINK HARD ENOUGH ABOUT IT. I fucking despise geography. YAAAYYY. I feel bad because its almost my dads birthday next friday AND I HAVE NO HFUFKING CLUE WHWY TO GET HIM and my mums lowkey acting psycho af like chronically ill i lowkey in my heart beloeve shes got bipolar like actually no joke i see it in her eyes (joke) but not a joke coz i think she does
The second hand embarrasment when i was scrolling on tiktok with ym friend ya and her "secret" account whereshe posts like intense vents on comes up on my fyp while shes watching LIKE THAS SO EMBARRASING FOR HER ABUT I SCROLELD PASTVSO IT WASNT LIKE A BIGDEAL idk ok i just booked to tommy innit he said give me a goddamn minute i saidbitch pass me the blubt icnalled for the dick not s hfkcjng man hunt!
Today im enjyong mozzarella sticks, glee, sinjin, spice and everything nice, FUCK IDK!!!!!!! Ok idk what to go watch i judt wnana sleep but i haent done ANYTHIGN today so i feelim wasting th eday away
Today im hating being full, my face, homework, smelling bad, anxiety snd everythingelse bad sorry for sad quinn gif theres no normal quinngifs and lwokey mood. Relishing in the fact ive only cried once thebwhole year. Man im winning(not oncluding lowkey tearing up sniffles DOESNT FUCKING COUNT)
lover, you shouldve come over - jeff buckley
#glee#quinn fabray#jeff buckley#digital diary#dear diary#journal#diary#blog#diary entry#mozzarella sticks#school#BORING DAY#im so full#croissant?#lover#oh oh oh lover#OOOOOOOOOO OOOOOOOO LOVER#u shouldve come over.#but its not too late!
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Pesky Paparazzi (harry’s angel au)
pairing: harry styles x female reader (angel)
summary: Amsterdam is so beautiful, until you’re being chased by paparazzi and some crazy ‘fans’
warnings: slight angst, protective harry, fans that def aren’t fans, swearing + some fluffy goodness
a/n; i know this isn’t the best and i’ve written better, but i wanted to get this finished and out! thank you everyone for being so patient with me; and for enjoying this au as much as I do🩷
You knew as much as Harry did just how crazy touring can be, especially when it comes to visiting landmarks and exploring the cities you’re both so fortunate to see throughout the months your on tour. Harry also loves finding new places to go on runs or work out in, while you’re more of a tea and coffee lover, trying to find the cutest and of course most local shops to visit and try.
It wasn’t that surprising to see a group of people in the distance on your morning walk, Harry’s hand holding yours as you walked around Amsterdam. He hadn’t yet noticed them but you did, and figured now maybe be the time to find an alternative route; it wasn’t easy running from crazy people being 5 months pregnant.
“H my love, I think we should maybe find a different route”
You stopped walking, your hand tightening on his as he looked towards the group of people up ahead of you both. Glancing at him you could see his shoulders tense
“Fuck..”
“It’s alright, they’re still aways up from us, let’s just figure out where to go”
He nodded and looked around the two of you, although you remained calm, Harry was in overdrive trying to find a safe way for you both to get back to the hotel. You weren’t very far from it, probably a 6 minute walk, but every way he turned people seemed to show up.
“What about through there? Between the shops?”
You pointed at a walkway, the cobble stones quite bare in comparison to the walkways along the channel
“Okay, let’s go, i’ll get Jeff to send us a car or something”
With his arm now wrapped around your lower back as opposed to holding onto your hand, a sign he was beginning to get slightly anxious. It was only quiet until he heard a plethora of footsteps echoing down the corridor followed by Harry’s name being called
“Harry can we have a photo?”
“Harry we love you”
“Can you sign this?!”
Soon enough you were surrounded by a small group of people, the sounds of excitement filling you with a sense of dread as your hands navigated to your bump just out of instinct
“M’sorry guys, I can’t stop, we’ve got to go, can we have some space?”
Some of the fans respected that, others were getting irate over the fact that Harry didn’t want to stop, that only made him become more agitated especially considering he was with you and his unborn daughter.
“H, i’ll walk ahead, im starting to cramp anyway…i’m sure they won’t give me any trouble..?”
Harry shook his head
“You’re cramping?”
“Minor…I think it’s anxiety…”
“You’re not going anywhere without me when y’not feeling well, come on.”
As much as you figured you’d be okay to walk alone, Harry wasn’t about to let you out of his sights, even if he had to fight through people to get you somewhere safe. Thankfully before it got too crazy, you noticed four of your teams bodyguards approaching and a car waiting at the end of the alley, which you were ushered into.
“Sorry that took so long Y/N, this place is crazy with the shows here”
You smiled in Jeff’s direction, the pains in your stomach not dissipating very much
“It’s alright, more worried about Harry honestly”
Jeff went to respond to you when the door opened again on the other side and Harry slid in next to you, his eyes raking over your form to check for any discomfort; which you were already trying your hardest to hide.
Harry wouldn’t give up that easily if he knew you weren’t feeling well..
“You sure you’re okay angel..? I knew we should have stayed in today..”
Placing your hands on his you shook your head
“I’m okay, obviously not feeling very well now but im fine, baby girl is fine…we’re all okay H, promise…we can’t just hide away forever in a hotel room you know”
“Yes we can.”
Rolling your eyes you turned to face him a little more, wincing at a few strong kicks from your little girl
“No we can’t, because I’d go stir crazy and you’d get bored, I know there are always chances of what happened today, but I still love experiencing all of these countries and cities with you, it’s not your fault some people can’t respect you and your privacy”
Harry stayed quiet, you assumed lost in thought or letting his anxiety take grasp of his already racing thoughts
“H, will you look at me please my love?”
“I’m sorry”
“Hey, none of that”
The car stopped outside of the hotel’s entrance, your eyes still locked on Harry’s, hands grasping his cheeks so he would look at you
“I love you, we’re safe and now we can go have a cuddle and watch a movie, nothing bad happened to us, you kept us safe and got us back here without any issues, so no more being pouty and blaming yourself understood?”
After a few seconds he gave you a tiny smile, which was enough for you in this moment
“I love you too, no more being pouty, I promise”
Harry carried his heart on his sleeve for you, always wanting to fill your days with love and comfort, not even some pesky and overbearing fans could keep him from letting you know just how much he loves you, and how far he would go for you..
#harry’s angel au🦋❤️🔥#harry’s angel🦋❤️🔥#harry’s angel headcannons🦋❤️🔥#harry styles & angel 🦋#harry styles x angel 🦋#asks with harry and angel🦋#harry styles#harry styles x pregnant!reader#harry styles x reader#harry styles x fem!reader#harry styles x girlfriend reader#harry styles x wife reader#harry styles x y/n#harry styles x female reader#harry styles angst#harry styles au#harry styles fanfiction#rueswrites#ruesanswers#ruesanons<3#ruesasks#ruesfriends💙
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hi! i was wondering if u could make a jeff the killer x male reader general hcs? thanks a lot!!
Jeff the Killer x male reader general dating hcs!
➥ Hii! Here you go! ( ´ω` ) Im sorry that without NSWF part, dunno if you were counting for that!
˚ ✦ . ˚₊‧꒰ა ☆ ໒꒱ ‧₊˚. ✦ ˚
I think that Jeff doesnt have preferences about his partner. That means that no matter what you do, what are your hobbies or what kind of person your are, he would be still into you. You can be either silly and crazy like Jeff or be calm and he will somehow match the energy with you anyways. High chance that he is "look > personality" type of person, but I believe he wouldnt be too picky.
When in relationship, he isnt the worst person to date! Jeffs mean coments turn into more teasing one? You know, you can tell when he is not being serious and just want to play with you. Once with him, you got more "friends and lovers" type of relationship. He really can be fun to have around. Not the best at comforting, but can be shoulder to cry or partner in destroying the world. He also has his clingy moments, nothing too direct but enjoys kisses and cuddles. Even if he isnt the best at showing that, he would do anything for you!
He just want someone who would take care of him, he needs that even if he will deny it. Jeff came through a lot, and under his tough, big and scary persona he wants to be cared for and loved. Will act like doesn't like it but if you pamper him he would melt - of course he will pretend to be mad but you know better! Boy doesn't live in healthy way, doesnt eat or drink enough and sleep isnt the most important for him (plus he is a killer???) so gladly appreciates all that. Bonus: be ready for cleaning bloody stains from his (or sometimes yours) clothes tho!
Jeff also need a lot of time to let himself be vurnable in front of you. Its hard for him to open up, hates the feeling of showing emotions and "being weak" (in his small brain being emotional = being lame). Im sorry but that can lead to him snapping on you, it happens when you buttle up emotions. I believe that Jeff would also have anger issues which wont be treated for obviouse reasons, so the beggining of relationship can be a bit hard. No worries, he gets better at controlling them (or just not taking anger out on you!) by time and who knows? Maybe once in a while he would seek comfort from you??
Well, Jeff is possesive and jealous, maybe sometimes to the point of this unhealthy way. Not that he would lock you in his room and chain to bed, but might get pouty when you are being too close with someone. Doesnt matter with who - your friend, stranger or just your family - there is high chance of him not talking to you for a while becasue of that or end up with rough making out session!
He is more of "I will beat or kill anyone who will look at you in the wrong way" type of romantic rather than "uwu cute dates for my cute boyfriend". Jeff can be pretty romantic...just not in standard way! You wont get expensive gifts or cheesy dinner dates with him wearing fancy suit, but you would recieve a lot of stolen things (jewelry if you wear, clothes, anything!) or just going on a walk/exploring abandon buildings at night! He is also down for cuddles, but its a secret..!
˚ ✦ . ˚₊‧꒰ა ☆ ໒꒱ ‧₊˚. ✦ ˚
#slasher#slasher x reader#creepypasta#creepypasta x reader#jeff the killer#jeff the killer x reader#jeffrey woods#jeffery woods#horror#headcanon#creepypasta hcs#male reader#crp#fandom#creepypasta fandom#wholecircus#requests#requested#dating hcs
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Letter six:
TW: Depiction of grief; after Eddie’s death
Letter 5 - Letter 7
April 30th, 1986
Eddie,
I don't even know why I am writing those lines. But I miss you, and I'm angry at everyone who treated you badly. I saw Mrs Cunningham at the store and she started badmouthing on you. You can't imagine how much that hurts. To hear words about your boyfriend, your lover than you know aren't true.
I have to find a way to make see how you really where, who you were deep down. I just can't the idea that people still hate you and you did everything in your power to save them...
They should be so fucking grateful. But the problem is that they don't know that. They don't know how you really left us nor why.
I've been feeling sick lately. I don't know what happening to me.
Anyways, I called Hopper this morning. I got a part-time job as a secretary for now. He didn't want to give me a full-time job because of my current mental state.
He already told me that if one day I didn't feel like going to work, I could skip and he'd still pay me. He is a sweetheart but I can't accept this.
Wayne's invited me to play poker this afternoon. He told me all about how you've stopped playing with him when you were 15. You know, he wished he had one last game with you. He told me you were good at it. I wasn't that good. I wish you could have taught me...
I didn't really answer, I still cannot talk about you, except to defend you. As for Wayne he can only do it when he's remembering something about you. It's hard to hear him talk about you, but I can't be selfish, he needs it and that's why I'll let him talk about you as much as he wants. Even though it hurts.
Wayne said he would stop by this afternoon.I really have to clean up the trailer... I never have the strength to do mundane tasks and the trailer is a real mess. You would tell me: "Sweetheart, you're worse than me." And you would have chuckled.
I really don't want Wayne to see how bad I'm doing. He is already there for me more than he should. Besides it would break his heart and the poor man already has to cope with your departure so I don't want him to have to cope with my shitty mental state.
I know he already sees I am not doing good, I just don't want him to see the extent of how bad I feel. I don't want to add this pressure on him. I don't want to become a burden.
Anyways, little genius finally finished writing the campaign. Even if it's hard I promised to him that I would read it so that's what I'm going to do right after writing this letter. I will tell you about everything about it tomorrow. But I'm sure it's gonna be good, as you always said, the kid's a genius, even though his ego is the size of the World Trade Center. I know you would have laughed at this joke. And called me a "smarty pants" but that's true ! Don't even try to argue with me on that !
Anyways, he gave me the campaign and I'll try reading today. They are going to play it on Friday. I can't watch it, I don't feel capable of doing so. I'm sorry Eddie, I know you want me to watch the campaign, I know you don't like the fact that I asked Dustin to kill off my character. But DnD without you makes no sense.
On a more positive note, I'm going out with Gareth and Jeff tonight. They said and I quote "we don't want to be sulking all alone in your house tonight so let's go The Hideout."
Gareth even added "please sneak some beers for me." Im not so fond of the idea but who am
I ? Definitely not his mom, so he'll get his beer. Don't worry, I'll supervise him.
The boys are missing you too you know. We're all missing you.
Eternally yours,
- Your sweetie
Taglist: @abellmunsonmovie
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2024 album listens
Recording all the albums I listened to in full for the first time in 2024. Albums released this year are marked with a *
Making Movies by Dire Straits. 5/5 Top 3: Romeo and Juliet, Hand to Hand, Tunnel Of Love
Light, Dark, Light Again by Angie McMahon 4/5 Top 3: Saturn Returning, Divine Fault Line, Staying Down Low I liked this album but I thought some songs sounded a little samey samey. It reminded me of Punisher a lot.
I Put a Spell on You by Nina Simone 4/5 Top 3: Feelin' Good, One September Day, July Tree I've listened to a lot of the songs on this album but never the whole thing top to bottom. I love her voice so much. I just think some of the best songs on this album are a LOT better then some of the lesser songs.
Summer Days by San Cisco. 3/5 top 3: summer days, lost without you, high I love San Cisco but lately their music hasn't hit as much. I thought this was a fairly so so album. Songs were nice but it felt a little uninspired
MADRA by newdad. 4.5/5 top 3: nosebleed, angel, sickly sweet BANGER of an album. Super cohesive with some really interesting riffs and bits and bobs on each song. I was shocked to see this is a debut album. one of those albums where you immediately go back to relisten to the songs. only took the 0.5 away cos I think it's slightly too long
Loss of Life by MGMT. 3/5 top 3: dancing in babylon, bubblegum dog, nothing changes It's okay - I just thought it didn't really stick. Like not much REALLY stood out
eternal sunshine by ariana grande. 4/5 top 3: supernatural, I wish I hated you, we can't be friends & bye This was close to being perfect but I really think it needed a powerful ballad in the middle and the writing to me was okay in parts but overrall i really liked it. her vocals sound amazing this is the first ari album I've truly enjoyed since thank u next
the rise and fall of a midwest princess by chappell roan 4.5/5 top 3: after midnight, red wine supernova, coffee bit late to this one IM SORRY but wow this is such a fun and excellent album. I couldn't stop smiling the entire way through. I love that it also has some more slow and intimate moments too. Really embodying the idea of the rise and fall in the way the tone goes up/down sad/happy you know. It feels both familiar and new at the same time which I love. Sort of reminded me of melodrama in the structure which I LOVE. The ONLY reason I took off the 0.5 is because I feel the start of the album was a lot stronger then the end. I even think possibly one song could be cut. But it's very good! loved it!
grace by jeff buckley. 4.5/5 top 3: lover, you should've come over, hallelujah, forget her I've probably listened to 70% of this album just never sat down to listen to it all in a row. anyways LYSCO/Hallelujah has to be one of the craziest back to back song pairings ever. This is suchh a beautiful album my ONLY issue is I don't like eternal life and don't think it fits the vibe. Amazing album though
cowboy carter by beyonce. 4/5 top 3: texas hold em, bodyguard, blackbiird I thought the production of this was the highlight. Also loved how stylistic it was, I love a concept album. Thought the first half was stronger and it's too long, which is why it's a 4 star. Blackbiird cover was GORGEOUS, Jolene cover I don't love as much. The original tracks are great with a feww I don't love as much. Overall very good! I will be listening a lot
found heaven by conan grey. 3/5 top 3: killing me, winner, alley rose I think I wanted to like this more than I did. I really love new wave and the production was GREAT, literally sounded like a song off an 80s album. But I overall found it kind of derivative. It was like oh yep thats the elton song, thats the joy division song, thats the queen song. It felt almost inauthentic at times, and maybe it's just because cowboy carter just came out and showed us all how it's done but it just felt too much like copying music rather than being inspired by. Some of the songs were big misses for me, and the highlights were definitely the ones with more vulnerable lyrics and singing.
the tortured poets department. not rated yet top 3: but daddy I love him, down bad, fortnight I am so torn on this album. There is some songs I love a lot, and some I don't care for much. This is hard for me to say because I LOVE Taylor and I'm an original fan. But this synth pop sound isn't my fave. I found myself irritated by the sound of some songs, especially fresh out the slammer and my boy only breaks his favourite toys. I don't like how with Antonoff's production I can recognise familiar melodies and synths from previous songs. I was hoping this song would be the return of some real GUITAR AND DRUM and it isn't as much. That said, I've been streaming it a lot. I like how confessional the song writing it (despite some clunky moments) and a florence feature is so exciting to me. I love the modernised love story with BDILH and I think I can do it with a broken heart is a fun song. I also liked whose afraid of little old me as a concept song. I think it's hard for me because I know I'm biased toward Taylor and will ultimately find something to love in everything she does, and I think for her this was a blurt and drop album. and so you just have to take it for what it is. But. I am really hoping for something a little different with the next release.
the tortured poets department: the anthology. not rated yet top 3: the black dog, the prophecy, the bolter Some of the above applies but I think overall I like this second album more. I think the black dog is one of her best releases yet and the prophecy is heartbreaking. It made me cry upon listen. I love Aaron Dessner. I do think there are some forgettable songs on this side as well though.
Silence is Loud by Nia Archives. 3/5 top 3: forbidden feelingz, cards on the table, nightmates I was surprised by this, the single doesn't sound like most of the album. This had more singing/talking than I expected and I kinda wish it had more dance/bangers. I did really like some songs though, but others were a bit forgettable. I think some more time with this could change my opinion a little though, though i'm not sure if that time will be agreeing it's forgettable or finding myself uncovering a little more here.
Oxalis EP by Swapmeet only 5 songs - mellow and laid back. Sort of a perfect driving in the car at night sort of sound, and I think I might revisit this album in that setting. Honestly don't think this was long enough to say much more. I'm intrigued, I'll look out for more! But I can't see this being a huge thing I revisit.
Fever by Kylie Minogue. 4/5 top 3: love at first sight, in your eyes, can't get you out of my head but duh so also more more more and dancefloor pop perfection I fear. unbelievably catchy melodies. I knew the popular songs ofc but the whole album really is a gem. I love the dance sound and cohesiveness of this album.
HIT ME HARD AND SOFT by Billie Eilish. 2/5 top 3: CHIHIRO, birds of a feather, bittersuite I wish I had liked this more. I'm ultimately not sure if Billie is really an artist I vibe with after I also found happier then ever a let down. I honestly just found this a little boring and repetitive. The singing style doesn't quite work for me. THAT SAID, the production in parts was excellent, specifically CHIHIRO I find myself coming back to a lot because I like how it sounds soo much. So that song is a real highlight for me in an okay album. I sort of just feel this album is lacking a story, I don't know what she was trying to tell me with this exactly. Maybe I'm just not the target audience.
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UM GOOD MORNING??? (its morning for me im serious i literally just woke up) hope your having a good day im about to give everything about meliora 🤗
SOOOOOO meliora is a 13-member under two fictional companies louvix audio and sonata media, they were the second only successful group under their company after their former boy group RIX disbanded in 2016, so, company said; "WE NEED SOMETHING NEW!", and they recruited the thirteen members over a period of 10 months through global auditions!!! so that's just great
okay off to the members;
kasemchai 'chaiya' shinawatra - 99 liner, thai, probably a man kisser in his free time, and also a professional flirt too!, used to be a child model and he decided "fuck college i'm gonna sing" so he auditioned!, his fc is the actor jeff satur
hong yohan - 00 liner, korean, 1 of 4 introverts in the whole group, the leader of the group, he scares his members without even trying, his fc is that one nct mf (it's haechan)
ko junmin - 00 liner, korean, 2 of 4 introverts in the whole group, a perfectionist for life, he also did taekwondo!, his fc is park jihoon (the actor not from treasure)
jung hajoon - 00 liner, korean, adopted (yeah he actually is), his adopted father is half filipino so he's fluent in tagalog, theater kid (derogatory), his fc is kim sunwoo from the boyz
ahn 'kyrie' kyuhyun - 01 liner, korean, a former actor and fencer (he starred in boys over flowers), the tallest member, also quite literally the perfect man (he's also the token straight of the group), his fc is yoon sanha from astro
yeo 'hwan' jihwan - 01 liner, korean, 3 of 4 introverts in the whole group, he's the one member who can go without talking the whole day, the center of the group despite his shyness, his fc is son dongju from oneus
cho haneul - 01 liner, korean, confirmed man kisser, the most affectionate member of the group, bro can play the guitar (i'm down on my knees), his fc is shin yechan from omega x
matsuda 'kiro' kyoichi - 02 liner, japanese, a former member of a j-pop boy band, his father is so famous in japan i'm not even joking, he has a huge fanbase and is the sunbaenim of everyone in the whole group, his fc is terazono keita from ciipher
kang 'z' yaejoon - 02 liner, korean, the groups comedic genius, the only reason he auditioned was actually because of a bet, he used to play hockey, his fc is jung sungchan from riize
bae 'byeol' yongrae - 02 liner, korean, has been dancing since literally forever, his birthdays on halloween!!, he's a huge fan of kai and he cried when he got to meet him for the first time, his fc is my bae song hyeongjun from cravity
sim 'chrysa' jaehwan - 03 liner, korean, he really likes kyuhyun, seriously he was a huge fan of him before they debuted together, also a comedic genius, his fc is your bae hwang intak from p1harmony
kristian 'jian' li - 04 liner, chinese-american, rich, he's one of the youngest but he's also 6'1, professional coffee hater, and cat lover, his fc is young and rich fall and handsome
aikawa 'taro' kiyoshi - 04 liner, japanese, the maknae, a teddy bear collector, can never be clean like it's impossible for him, his fc is nishimura riki from enhypen
OKAY SO UHHH OTHER THAN THAT, their fandom name is aponia because meliora is a word that means "better" and the word aponia is an "absence of pain" so they FIT TOGETHER!!!
anyway thats the group, there is a lot more bad stuff concerning the personal lives of the members because they're all traumatized in one way or another (so sorry i love my babies i swear) so um whose your bias 🤗???
the way i am the #1 aponia. The original. unless you've told someone else ab them and they've said the same thing so we have to compete (i cant fight so i hope u havent 😓😓 2yrs of martial arts in primary school has done nothing for me bye). I AM IN LOVE WITH THEM?!? Holds them in hands.. puts them in a jar.. shakes them around really hard in the jar.. opens the lid... pours them into my hands.. eats them like orbeez.. dies from food poisoning (u probably cant eat orbeez).....
OK BIASES. hajoon YOHAN and jaehwan YUPP 👍👍👨❤️💋👨 oh but junmin too........ i fucking LOVE park jihoon i rewatch whc1 every other week i swear (nothing broke me like that show did . Im in so much pain). i will collect all their pcs and line then up next to my bed and pat their little heads before i go to sleep
IM IN LOVE W THIS AND THEM!!!!!!!!! UR MIND!!!!!!!! CRAZY!!!!!!!!! ur giving me tell-u-things-ab-my-silly-ocs-too itis... Stop it .
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Eddie Munson Request!
I a sucker for the opposites attract trope, and I just imagine Eddie with his grunge hard metal self, having a super frilly girlfriend, you know how when high school boys walk around with their girlfriend’s scrunchies on their wrist, kind of a sign of claiming the dude? Imagine Eddie with a frilly pink scrunchy or something! How would he react to it being given to him, or how would hellfire react as well!! Hope you like the request! Can’t wait for you possibly writing this out because I love your writing style, literally counting the hours for you Eddie POV later on today!!
a/n: omg i am so sorry for just now seeing this but in my defense i have worked doubles 2 days in a row and im slowly dying inside! anyways i LUV this rq and thank u thank u thank u for ur kind words it fr means the world. (i acc just finished writing this n i'm alr starting a second part so . kudos to u and ur big brain)
this is fem!reader btw
(part 2)
look, they were trying to pay attention, they really were. it was just kind of hard to focus on hearing eddie’s insane new campaign idea while he had a baby pink scrunchie on his wrist.
it was just so jarring. not because he was a dude wearing a pink scrunchie because god knows none of them – especially eddie munson of all people – care about the rigid cage that is gender roles. it was because it was eddie that was wearing it.
eddie, in all his black skinny jeans, metalhead glory, was willingly choosing to disrupt the cohesion of his style – one they thought to be so carefully curated – for a frily, pink chiffon scrunchie.
i mean, he has long hair. they assumed, silently, of course. (being the friends that mike, dustin, and lucas are, they’ve gained the ability to communicate solely through their shared looks – and morse code, occasionally).
it’s not like he’s above picking up the easiest-to-steal looking thing and stuffing it in his pocket at the store. so it’s not like it means anything, right?
“what the fuck, guys?” the topic of unspoken discussion said, raising his hands in the air. “why’re you acting so weird? i thought you’d piss your pants at this campaign.”
“no, the campaign’s awesome, man.” dustin said.
“totally awesome.” lucas agreed.
“so why are you three acting like someone drew a dick on my face?” eddie asked, then proceeded to pull at his cheeks, accentuating the scrunchie even more. “no one did, right?”
“no, you’re good,” dustin said. “i think we’re just a bit… distracted, that’s all!”
“distracted by your fake girlfriends in idaho?” eddie joked, laughing to himself while the younger boys scowled.
“el lives in california and she’s real.”
“you’ve literally met max – ”
“that’s beside the point!” dustin interrupted. in reality, he would’ve been offended too if last summer hadn’t already desensitized him to the no-one-believing-you-have-a-girlfriend thing. “we were just curious about that thing on your wrist.” he pointed, squaring down at the scrunchie in question.
“this ol’ thing?” eddie pulled on it, snapping it against his wrist. “t’was a gift.”
“from who? the tooth fairy?” erica said, causing her older brother and the band of freshmen to immediately shush her.
“on the contrary, lady applejack.” he said. “it was a gift from my lover. one from this realm of reality, no less.”
“lover?” lucas asked.
“it means girlfriend, lucas.”
“i know what it fucking means, asshole.”
“why’d you have bring that up?” gareth sighed, “now he’s gonna spend the next thirty minutes gushing – ”
“who’s got the fake girlfriend now, munson?” mike taunted. clearing.
“nah, she’s real,” jeff said. “you guys just never met her ‘cause she graduated when she was supposed to.”
eddie kicked jeff’s leg under the table while the boys gaped.
“you, eddie munson, have a girlfriend –”
“you know i can kick you out of hellfire, right, sinclair?”
“i’m not saying that is unbelievable that you have a girlfriend.” dustin defended. “it’s just, ya’know, i would never imagine you with someone like… that”
“like what?” he challenged. even though it was mostly a façade and he didn’t actually care what three fifteen-year-olds think about his romantic endeavors.
“like, one that gives her boyfriend pink scrunchies!” he said, turning to mike. “i mean, nancy doesn’t even do shit like that. that’s, like, the type of shit that jock’s girlfriends do to mark their territory!”
“well, i hate to break it to ya’ kid, but my girl’s got territory to mark.” eddie smirked, twirling the scrunchie around with his fingers. “you wouldn’t imagine the type of offers i get from girls who want free weed and a di –”
“if you finish that sentence i’m reporting you to the police for child endangerment.” erica said, silencing the entire table in one fell swoop. well, almost all of the table, sans jeff and gareth who were hiding their laughs behind their hands. because unlike the freshman, they knew exactly what kind of sap eddie was. and that was one who would do anything his girlfriend tells him to, from wearing her girly little scrunchie around school to committing arson, probably.
“applejack is right,” eddie said. “this is not a conversation for your innocent little minds. let’s pick up where we left off!”
“wait, i still have questions –”
“ask me when you still don’t have a baby face, henderson.”
“i meant about your girlfriend!” he huffed. “like i’d take any of that kind of information from you.”
“hey, it’s either me or harrington.” he defended, “and from what i heard, you don’t wanna take any from him.”
luckily for him, that imagery got the boys disturbed enough to finish the rest of their session in peace, with them only speaking up when they got distracted enough to forget what they were talking about before. at nine on the dot, eddie called the night, and began packing up, the rest of the club shuffling out one by one.
“i thought you said she was coming home on sunday?” jeff asked once the freshmen were out of ear shot.
“she came back early.” eddie smiled. “she got on the train right after class and showed up at three in the fuckin’ morning. when i saw her out of my window, i thought i got too high and started hallucinating.”
“that’s awesome, man.” gareth said, patting him on the back. “you should tell her to come to hellfire while she’s back for break.”
“oh, she’s definitely coming,” eddie grinned. “gonna shut those little assholes up for good.”
#wc:964#eddie munson x fem!reader#eddie munson x reader#eddie munson drabble#eddie munson fanfic#eddie munson#ask#joseph quinn#eddie munson oneshot#eddie munson x y/n#eddie munson x you#eddie munson blurb#eddie munson fanfiction#eddie munson fluff#established relationship#eddie munson x girly!reader#eddie munson headcanons#request
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there is a thought that has been absolutely MARINATING in my silly little head that i just don't have the energy to actually write so i'm gonna talk about it here bc you actually like,, listen to what i have to say.
Hhh anyway imagine fem!reader being in the yearbook club and being assigned to take pictures of the clubrooms and their members. That's how she meets eddie, and the pictures that she takes of the hellfire club "coincidentally" always come out blurry (when really, reader has a crush on eddie and is just trying to find any excuse to come see him). Eddie ends up inviting reader to join hellfire, and after she joins dustin "accidentally" lets it slip to her that eddie's been referring to her as the "angel of hellfire club".
Jeez this ended up being really long, im sorry - 🌙
The Angel of Hellfire Club (Eddie Munson x fem!Reader) Headcanons
a/n: yeah this got away from me a bit, i'm not gonna lie to you, moon. still, i hope you enjoy, i could maybe do a second part if you so please? xx @anonmoonie
WARNINGS: nothing honestly, a tiiiny allusion to sex but like barely, otherwise some friends-ish-to-lovers :)
- So it starts like your freshman year, you join the yearbook club because you’re really interested in photography and you think it’s a good place to get some experience taking photos. Unfortunately the senior who’s in charge of the photography unit is like super mean and bossy and makes you do all the worst jobs like taking photos of the science dissections and forcing you to go on the wilderness camps and stuff to ‘capture the high school experience’, and it also means you’re stuck having to photograph any old club that wants their photo in the yearbook
- You’d never heard of the Hellfire Club before, they weren’t overly your scene–your parents would flip if they knew the kind of ‘devil worship’ the club did, though you thought they were quite funny
- As much as it seemed like a punishment at the time–paying your dues to be able to take some real photos for the yearbook–it was a blessing in the form of an afternoon of laughs and like 4 wasted rolls of film
- It was the leader of the little club–he was a sophomore at the time–Eddie. He was the one corralling everyone into a big group, when you’d tell everyone to smile nicely, since this was a yearbook photo and all, but something about him just made the rest of the club go wild when you went to take the photo; tongues out, devil horns made out of their hands, weird contortions with their legs
- Eddie watched as you fiddled with the camera every time you’d have to set up for a new photo, your eyebrows furrowed as you messed with the aperture and exposure to get the perfect shot–the camera they gave you in high school was a lot more advanced than the one your parents had gifted you for Christmas in the eighth grade
- He couldn’t deny he thought you were kinda cute, that was why he wanted to tease you, and the rest of the Hellfire Club just went along with whatever Eddie did,,,,
- Eventually you felt like you got a good enough shot, most of the club was smiling into the lens–though the leader still couldn’t help but throw a ‘rock on’ hand gesture into the mix but it would just have to do because your free period was just about over and you still had to photograph three other clubs
- As the group left the gym, you didn’t neglect to notice that the long-haired leader was smirking at you and you swore you heard him say goodbye in the shuffle of all the people, though you were mostly distracted by one of the other members, Jeff, apologising for their antics–they just couldn’t help it sometimes, he said.
- From then on, you noticed the Hellfire Club and their leader a lot more–you noticed where they sat at lunch, you noticed when they’d creep off to the drama room on Fridays to play their little game, and somehow, during changeover periods, you managed to run into that Eddie almost every. single. day.
- Between just saying hi, commenting on the weather, and then offering to carry your books for you to your next class, you couldn’t get away from Eddie Munson. Though he was starting to grow on you
- It was just the fact that he was always there in your peripheral, it became a comfort.
- So when you were told to get some filler shots of all the clubs for the back pages of the yearbook, you knew EXACTLY what club you wanted to shoot first.
- It was a rainy Tuesday morning, the transition between second and third period, when Eddie popped up at the side of your locker like he normally did, asking how your morning was going, when you asked point blank if you could join the Hellfire Club for one meeting to take some candid shots.
- Of course he IMMEDIATELY said yes, told you what day, what time, what room, he asked if you needed anything like lights or something, he could order a pizza or something if you were hungry? He basically hyperventilated on the spot.
- You weren’t doing great yourself, freaking out because of course you realised very quickly what the bubbling in your chest every time he was near meant, but you were just a freshman yearbook nerd
- You decided the best way to go about it was being professional, you were a photographer, and he was your subject, and that was it–you had to take it seriously or else you’d be stuck just developing photos for the next three years and you’d never get to take another photo for the yearbook again
- So come Friday afternoon, you stayed with the club for about an hour, took photos of all their little game pieces and some candids while they were playing, and quickly left, saying you had to get back to the dark room to get developing already
- Eddie was a little hurt, he’d modified the session to make it as crazy as possible, to give you a real look into DnD, but before he knew it, you were out the door
- And then you’d stopped saying hello to him in the halls, and then at the beginning of the next year you took over photographing the music department so there was no more Hellfire Club photo sessions with you
- You almost became like a myth to the Hellfire Club, when Gareth joined, he only heard rumours of you from the rest of the guys, and that was the way it stayed–only with occasional mentions and teasings of Eddie about the ‘Angel of Hellfire’ –a nickname he’d come up with for an NPC who’d reminded him of you, though he’d never got the chance to tell you
- Now MEANWHILE, you’re dealing with monsters and evil shit from the Upside Down (you’re probably friends with Jonathan, let’s say that’s how you got involved) so you’re in with all the kids and friends with them
- So when they all start high school, even though you graduated the year before, you still want to know all the gossip and happenings of Hawkins High
- And when Dustin, Mike and Lucas tell you they’ve joined a DnD club called Hellfire, you first off, choke on whatever you were eating or drinking, and then ask them a million questions about all the old members and who is still there and stuff–you know Eddie is a super duper Senior so of course he’s still there but you want to hear it (because you still can’t help the butterflies in your stomach when you think of him,,,,call it puppy love or whatever but something about those big brown eyes has a hold on you that years of interdimensional monsters and trauma can’t get rid of)
- Of course, its Dustin who puts two and two together and realises that the elusive Angel of Hellfire (who he knew liked photography and was part of the yearbook committee) was you, he had to do something
- So he makes a plan early in the year–he tells Eddie he needs help with his character sheet for their next campaign, so could Eddie help him figure it out in the drama room after school that day, Eddie begrudgingly says yes–he just had to help out one of his little sheepies
- And he tells you, he thinks something weird is going on in the drama room–something Upside Down weird–and he needs help investigating after school, so you drop everything at your job at the Hawkins Post and rush as quick as you can to the school
- Eddie was waiting for Dustin–who was like ten minutes late–and was starting to get actually pissed off, he had a deal he had to get to and he didn’t like to look flakey in front of customers
- He basically couldn’t breathe when you rushed into the drama room, out of breath and clutching a baseball bat with nails hammered into the end of it
- You quickly realised the scheming that had taken place, but there was something drawing you to him, you just had to say hello now, it would be rude to just leave
- ‘Uh, hey,’ you said, still trying to catch your breath
‘Hi…’ His eyes looked so soft in the dim lighting of the room, you could see everything reflected in them. ‘Funny seeing you here….’
- It’s suuuuper awkward but you so want to talk to him (you also so want to kiss him but that would be insane, right?)
- It was honestly pitiful how quickly the two of you were on each other, something about the fact that you hadn’t seen each other since you graduated, along with the knowledge that some scheming had taken place, it just felt right.- You didn’t get far in the drama room–it was school, for crying out loud, but you had a free schedule, so it didn’t take much convincing for you to head back to Eddie’s trailer after the deal he had to make, and lets say,,,,you weren’t an angel that night (lmao i’m sorry that last line made me laugh too much not to include it)
#eddie munson#eddie munson x reader#eddie munson fluff#eddie munson imagine#eddie munson headcanons#stranger things#stranger things 4
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{Harry in sparkly black….Harry lemme **** *** *** for free}
You hadn’t talked to Harry all day. Not that you were mad at him or anything but your therapy this morning left you feeling a little spacey. There was something about talking about your emotions that left you feeling emotionally drained.
You missed Harry terribly and though it’s only been a short week, you felt very lonely. But on another note, your anxiety wasn’t as bad as it was. You were starting to feel like your normal self again but missing something.
You loved the tight knit life you have with Harry. You like being around him most hours of the day. You two were inseparable. If you were in the shower, he was in the bathroom reading a book from the lounger chair in the corner. If he was writing music on the beach, you were somewhere on the shore collecting shells. If you were going to the grocery store the least he could do was go for the drive with you. You two were close and it was something the both of you were ok with.
Some couples don’t like being so close but it worked for you and Harry. Being away from Harry was a weird experience. It’s only been a week but you feel like it’s been a lifetime. You haven’t minded being on your own but you wanted to be with the person you felt most connected to.
So being you, you purchased a ticket to Chicago. You didn’t know how Harry was going to react but you could only assume it would be a positive reaction. You told Jeff that you were coming so he could get you a hotel key and backstage pass.
As you sat in the airport you felt your back pocket buzz- your music pausing for the call. Your hand slipped into the pocket roughly pulling out the small phone. Harry’s icon, him in a fluffy robe looking as grumpy as ever, met your eyes. You cursed because you were quite obviously in the airport and if he saw you, the surprise would be ruined.
You answered anyways but only for audio. You made sure that your airpods were snug in you ear and there was no chance of them falling out.
“My lover!” Harry greets you a in sing song voice. You could hear his humph as he recognizes that you didn’t answer with the FaceTime video on. “Turn your camera on.”
“Can’t, I’m not feeling good.” You fib nervously. Harry frowned, nervous that he may have done something to upset you.
“Oh, alright. What’s wrong then?” He asks. You chew your lip trying to think of an answer.
“Uh, period.” You stammer.
“Your period doesn’t start for another few day…saw it on the tracker.” Harry may have your period tracker on his phone but it was because he wanted to make sure he was able to comfort you the best way he could when he needed to.
“Must be the meds-“ The sound of your boarding attendant sounded over your head cutting you off. “Hey bubs, I’ve actually got to go but we can’t chat later.”
“Sure, that’s fine I guess. Love you.” He mumbles, confused by the phone call. You hang up leaving Harry a little lost in his thoughts.
Later, Harry sang through his rehearsal carelessly, his head clouded with thoughts. He even sang through TBSL and though he was in the worst of moods, fans waiting at the venue thought he never sounded better.
You on the other hand had just sat through the worst flight of your life. There was a woman in the flight who didn’t want to wear her mask causing commotion before the flight could even take off. You had the worst headache halfway through the flight and because of the lack on supplies, the flight couldn’t give you any ginger ale or accommodations.
You didn’t let any of it get to you though as you directed for the chauffeur Jeff sent for you to go to the venue for show.
Harry sat in the common room backstage with the band and Jeff eating dinner grumpily. His fork was stabbing every little piece of lettuce of his salad, everyone watched worried that he may break his bowl.
“HS3 is trending on Twitter today, pretty exciting.” Jeff says to Harry breaking the silence. Jeff just received a text from you saying that you arrived to the venue and were walking towards Harry’s dressing room.
“Mmm great.” Harry grumbles. Jeff rolled his eyes at the diva.
“Someone’s a little pissy this evening. How about you go fix that mood before you greet your fans with a bad attitude.” Jeff scolds him like a child who just got caught doing something they shouldn’t have. Jeff really didn’t care about Harry’s attitude, used to the moods at this point, but he needed a way for Harry to leave the room and see you in the dressing room.
“Fine, didn’t want to be around anyways.” Harry shrugs.
Back in Harry’s dressing room, you rolled your suitcase into a corner where Harry’s outfit for the night resided on a hanger. You smiled at the sparkly black top that you helped pick out. You walked around his dressing room from the hair and makeup table, past the bathroom/ dressing area, and back around to the couch’s and coffee table where you took a seat. You snagged one of his green juices needing the boost of energy from being on the flight.
You heard the door knob jiggle but stayed planted in you seat sipping on the juice. You never made a peep as Harry barged through the room, scowl covering his face. He stormed past the couch not batting an eye at you. He went to the mini fridge where his juices were before letting an exasperated sigh.
“Who fucking took my juice?” He whines. You quietly giggle in your hand at his tone.
“Im sorry, thought I could have it.” You chuckle. Harry leaps from where he stands letting out a yell. He turns to look at you with wide eyes, hand over his chest as if his heart was going to explode from his chest. You stood from the couch waiting for him to react more but he just stood there in shock. When the realization of you actually being there kicked in he let out another yell before bounding over to you.
Before you knew it, you had two strong arms wrapped tightly around you. Your wrapped around his neck, hands and fingers spread through his hair. His face tucked into your lower neck peppering desperate kisses all over just to feel something.
“What are you doing here?” You hear him cry. You pulled away from him to wipe his eyes of the tears that streamed down his face.
“I needed to see you.” Was all you could muster. He pulled you down on the couch, your body cushioning his larger frame. He laid in between your legs, your back flat in the body of the couch.
“Im so happy your here.” Harry couldn’t even put his excitement into words. He knew you were coming in a week but to have you here earlier than that made him feel things. He sat up from suffocating you into the couch, allowing for you to sit up beside him. “What about your therapy? I hope you’re not jeopardizing your mental health to be here with me cause I would much prefer if you put me on the back burner and took care of yourself.”
You rolled your eyes playfully. “I’m ok. I still will see my therapist virtually, I’ve got all new meds that are working fine, and if all goes to shit I will go back home. It’s ok bubs.” You reassure him.
He grabs your face with both hands pulling your face to his. Your lips meet with need. His lips slotting with yours, moving slowly but with rigor as if he was scared you would slip from his fingers. Your bottom lips fit between his lips leaving for him to suck on it slightly. You moaned at the feeling making Harry pull you in tighter. You sat slightly upon his lap, chest against each other tightly. Your tongues pushed at one another, lips loving in tangent.
You pulled away when you felt his lower presence awaken. He whined at the loss of contact making you giggle.
“If we go any further you’re gonna be late for your show. I’ll give you more back at the hotel, yeah?” You say lowly trying to catch your breathe. He groaned resting his forehead on yours chasing your lips with chaste kisses making you smile.
“Fine, you owe my though. This is level three apology situation that can only be resolved with these things; sloppy blowies, butt stuff, or face masks if you catch my drift.” He chastised. You let out a deep belly laugh pushing yourself away from him. You two still sit facing each other, your legs slightly on top of his.
“You’re so nasty, but I may be able to arrange one of those.” You wink making Harry let out a triumphant laugh.
“Are you staying for the show? I understand if your not.” He questions fiddling with your fingers.
“Think it would be best if I didn’t. I’m really tired and I obviously need a nap if I’m going to be up for your post show antics.” You joke giving his nose a poke. He jokingly pretends to bite your finger in retaliation.
Harry went on stage that night happier than ever. He started plotting proposals from the second he walked you to the car with your suitcase and waved goodbye to you. You went to the hotel room and “accidentally” fell asleep wearing one of your most recent purchases curled up in your tour bus blanket.
Let’s just say that Harry not so accidentally woke you up after that concert ready to love all of his adrenaline off in you.
Part 2👀
#harry styles love on tour#hslot#hslot Chicago#harry styles angst#harry styles smut#harry styles x y/n#harry styles fic#harry styles x you#harry styles x reader#Harry Styles#harry styles imagine#harry styles one shot
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poggers this poggers that. who would say simp ironically & unironically
hmm ok i've let this marinate and i've been switching between finding contexts where every character would say simp and then also arguing that almost none of them would. at first i went on a bit of a tangent about connotations regarding the word so i'll simplify it now: poggers is very fun. it's silly! simp is inherently derogatory- whether jokey or not, it's meant to be an insult. therefore, when considering what community characters would say simp u need to look at more specific contexts wherein the characters are being assholes, and not in a more general capacity like i did with poggers- tl.dr; regardless of who would say this i do believe the characters only would when at their cuntiest <33 anyways with that disclaimer out of the way let's get into it (no i HAVEN'T thought too much about this fuck you)
easily, i can see britta saying it in the most scathing and derogatory ways possible because of course she'd take the opportunity to insult a man, even if the term stems from misogyny and patriarchal expectations because, er, men suck or something! don't think about it too much! ask not what you can do for misogyny but what misogny can do for u (create an insult to use against jeff, ideally in the exact same tone as when u told him he was bad at sex. girlboss) (feel a special need with this one to emphasise i am kidding and also do not agree with britta's messy ass feminism at least in this sense. moving on <3)
some people wish pierce were never on the show, except then who would overuse internet terms until they become unuseable??? check mate babes! he would have a vague understanding of it, as a good old-fashioned misogynist, so i could see him using it mortifyingly often as some kind of 'devastating' insult to jeff that moreso just makes everyone around him kind of uncomfortable like with his shitty gay jokes. alternatively, he could have a more limited, unexpected knowledge of it stemming not from the internet but general culture, which (did y'all KNOW) was using simp as an insult as early as 1923 -or 1946 depending on your interpretation- and meant idiot as it originated from the word 'simpleton'! yes i did research for this ask. shut up. im literally an annie kin i like to be thorough !!
whilst ms. dart absolutely would not say simp because she is a Professional, she would know what it means because she does her research, and she DEFINITELY thinks the dean is a simp even if she wouldn't say so (because unlike everyone else she tends to have like. things to do.) despite this i do think it would exponentially improve season 6 if she called dean a simp at least one. i think her matter-of-fact tone of voice saying simp would be both hilarious and devastating which would really add a certain je ne sais quoi to the stupid idiot honda scene specifically.
shirley would once again use it proselytise (u know who we should simp for? our lord and saviour jesus christ!) and annie, as much as a love her, can be a massive bitch so she absolutely would use it too but only at her lowest i feel. mulling it over, even if it would be out of character, i think she deserved to call jeff a simp for the way he acted in season six Actually </3 he could have done with a rude awakening like that. season one troy and his toxically masculine ass would absolutely say it all the time unironically but he's grown so i he wouldn't even jokingly season 2 onwards imo. he drinks respect women juice wbk
and finally abed simply wouldn't because he's too pretty for all that ❤️ as a bonus- duncan also would but mostly self-referentially (self-deprecating king) and maybe somewhat unironically with jeff. banter innit.
ok i think those are all my thoughts on the matter. unfortunately i don't have a handy chart for this since i've provided more narrow contexts for the usage of the word. sorry to disappoint all the chart lovers out there 😔
in conclusion: girl help my initially ironic poggersposting has becoming unsettlingly genuine simpposting :/ a mf will literally do anything other than her personal statement huh <//3
#btw i didn't mean to earnestly bring back poggersposting LMAO i just wanted to make a dumb post+ joke. but i'm glad ppl are having fun#also is this why no one sends me asks. because i tend to respond with unhinged overly long and embarrassingly earnest answers.#when taylor swift said im obsessive and crazy that was about me#anyways tumblr user benadir thanks for the ask and also. i apologise hdsjsdhkjdshjfd#i think it's on u for enabling me actually sooo /s#ask tag#benadir
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ranking every single asian drama/series/movie that i have ever watched
(this isn’t 100% accurate cuz I’ve decided to include shows that are still airing and they may move up or down on the list once they’ve finished airing. Shows with multiple seasons/spin-offs will be counted as one unless I decided that they’re too different to be in one rank. And lastly, I don’t dislike the shows that are low on the list—unless I explicitly say so—I’ve just watched a shitload of dramas, so don’t attack me if ur fave is at 26 or smth lmao)
I did my best to keep the explanations short and avoid spoilers
1. The Gifted
Are you surprised? Do I even need to explain?
2. HIStory 3: Trapped
Again, should be pretty self-explanatory. The plot? The acting? The tropes? Utter perfection.
3. 3 Will Be Free
Haha. 3wbf... is 3rd place. It’s just amazing and so criminally underrated.
4. Until We Meet Again
I LOVE THIS SHOW SM I WATCHED IT 7 TIMES KLJFSLKJDFS I JUST LOVE IT PLUS FLUKE’S ACTING AND DEANPHARM ARE JUST SO HEALTHY AND WHOLESOME AND CARING I LOVE THEM.
5. He’s Coming To Me
a GODLY show !!! SO UNDERRATED. Ugh that rooftop scene TT.
6. The Untamed
I know it’s shocking that this isn’t higher up IM SORRY OKAY but this show was so good i cried so much lksjlfjdsfdjlkf GOD TIER.
7. Theory of Love
G O D L Y. It has the best scenes that just punch you in the gut and make you cry while you think about them at night.
8. Great Men Academy
WHY DOES NO ONE TALK ABOUT THIS SHOW. anyways i would die for tangmo.
9. Cherry Magic
MY FAVOURITE ON AIR SHOW. It’s so fucking good and it’s sooooo relatable and cute and fun and just GOOD. Ugh it’s a whole blessing. Literally the concept is also just amazing, plus the representation is actually accurate?? LIKE ITS SO RELATABLE JLSJFKJKJKD AND REAL. AND THE CHARACTERS ARE SO KLJLKFJDLKJLSKJD.
10. I Told Sunset About You
THE SETS ARE SO PRETTY. THE VISUALS. ASTOUNDING. THE ACTING KSLJFKJLDF. It exceeded my expectations holy crap and the chinese culture incorporated into it feels so nice and genuine. literally i watched some of it today before my chinese class lmao. OMG AND THE OST.
11. Mr. Heart
ugh this show stole my heart (pun intended).
12. Dark Blue Kiss
SO. GODDAMN. UNDERRATED. THE WAY IT ACCURATELY REPS LGBTQ+ YOUTH’S RELATIONSHIPS WITH THEIR PARENTS AND COMING OUT AND EXPECTATIONS G O D L Y
13. Oxygen
SOFT. HEALTHY. CUTE. H E I G H T D I F F E R E N C E.
14. 2gether
would’ve been higher if it werent for the last two episodes of the show, but still2gether redeemed it quite a bit.
15. HIStory 2: Crossing The Line
QIU ZIXUAN LKDSJFLDJLJFDKJSLJ CUTE AS FUCK.
16. Where Your Eyes Linger
tHAT OST. AND THE LAST SCENE. I MEAN SHIT SLJFSDKJFLSDJFK.
17. HIStory 2: Right or Wrong
it’s so soft and at first i was so hesitant to watch it with the age gap but it was surprisingly like really healthy? and like the mom with the fruit knife?
18. Love By Chance
IM SORRY I PUT THIS SO LOW its just that klano and tumtar were not my cup of tea and i watched it mostly for aepete only for them to be apart at the end of season 1. I like season 2 but this time i only have tincan...
19. Gameboys
okay i was going to put this way higher because ITS SO FUCKING GOOD LITERALLY but then again i felt more impressed/attached to the ones above... BUT LITERALLY PEARL AND CAIREEL ARE JUST SDLSJDFSKDFL THE BEST.
20. Sotus
If i could put multiple shows in one rank i would but ive decided not too cuz then there would only be 6 ranks with 10 shows in each one... that’s why sotus is so low TT SORRY I LOVE IT BUT I LOVE OTHER SHOWS A LITTLE MORE.
21. 2Moons2
it was enjoyable. I didn’t like the main couple much tho.
22. Red Wine In The Dark Night
omg this movie i really liked it especially the ending it was really symbolic and i really like slight-horror type things. also FLUKE !!!! a KING of acting.
23. Transit Girls
SOFT WLW.
24. My Engineer
don’t get me wrong i love this show BUT it’s yet another engineering concept and i just don’t see it going above the other dramas...
25. Why R U
the plot was messy but the chemistry between the actors saved the entire show.
26. TharnType
I KNOW ITS LOW DONT KILL ME the plot was good but i don’t like how lhong was painted as a misunderstood little boi like HE IS A CRIMINAL DONT GIVE HIM A REDEMPTION ARC AND DONT TRY TO MAKE ME PITY HIM. also the non-con was uncomfy as hell.
27. A Round Trip To Love
THE CINEMATOGRAPHY AND SYMBOLISM ON GOD ISLJFDLJD. i don’t see this movie as like... an example of a healthy relationship... but the story itself is really interesting and the way the characters change yet stay the same is cool.
28. The Shipper
i enjoyed watching it but i dont think i could rewatch it. it was good nonetheless, i don’t regret watching it at all.
29. Together With Me
it’s good. but the side plots/side couples were not it. yihwa is a queen tho.
30. Ingredients
SOOOOO CUTE LSKJFDKJJF. but the plot is kinda nonexistent but IT DOESNT MATTER CUZ ITS CUTE AND FLUFFY AND UWU AND JEFF.
31. The Effect
this show gave me depression but damn the theme was so real.
32. Guardian
everything was going great until the jin ling dude got a girlfriend and the end happened.
33. History 3: Make Our Days Count
i was spoiled for the ending and it ruined my watching experience TT
34. YYY
i love it
35. Addicted
It was my first bl drama and i really liked it but again the non-con/kidnapping thing makes me uncomfy. also IT WAS DISCONTINUED IM SO SAD SLKDJFLSKJDFKSJD IT ENDED ON A CLIFFHANGER THEN WAS CANCELLED TT
36. Make It Right
fuse took too long to break up with his gf honestly oasflsajdfaldj bUT FRAME AND BOOK.
37. My Gear And Your Gown
CUTE but its another engineering x medical student trope and it’s still airing so i dont have too much of an opinion on it.
38. Pearl Next Door
its still airing (only 2 eps are out as of the time im writing this) and istg if pearlex isnt endgame im suing.
39. Friend Zone
first season was good but season two is gripping me by the throat.
40. Because Of You 2020
CUTE
41. The Lover
i only watched the bl cuts but they were cute
42. Lovesick
season one was great but season 2 was too long i skipped so much of it lmao.
43. Puppy Honey
ngl i only watched it for offgun lmao. season one was good and i watched the hets too but season 2 was when i only watched the offgun scenes lmao
44. En Of Love
tossara was my fave cuz they cute and healthy.
45. As If You Whisper
it was so short but so nice TT.
46. I’m Tee, Me Too
still airing... kinda pointless?
47. 2 Moons
the acting... oof
48. My Dream
it started out so promising but THE FUCKING ENDING WAS LKSDJFLKS
49. Kiss + Kiss Me Again
I only watched the petekao scenes lmao.
50. History 1: Away From Me
cutee
51. History 1: Obsession
interesting?
52. HIStory 1: My Hero
fine
53. My Day
i dropped it... tell me if i should get back into it cuz i kinda just wasn’t feeling it.
54. Lily Fever
cute wlw but it made no sense?
55. Hotel Stars
sorta dry lmao
56. The Best Twins
i dropped it but thor was epic
57. Reminders
PERTH’S ACTING KSJLFDJL but like what was the point? idk it was kinda frustrating.
58. 2Wish
i honestly don’t even remember what happened lmao
59. The Moment; I Need You
i just couldn’t when the guy faked an od. other than that it was eh. second season was better than the first (idk if it counts as a season tho cuz its so short)
60. Waterboyy (series)
DISGUSTING I HATE IT SO MUCH ITS TERRIBLE FUCK THIS SHOW I DESPISE IT
#this was so hard to do#so many good shows#the gifted graduation#2gether#bl drama#theory of love#love my chance#thai drama#tharntype#uwma#he’s coming to me#pearl next door#oxygen#the gifted#tgg#the last and first rank were the easiest to decide#fuck waterboyy honestly#all my homies hate waterboyy
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love anon here. basically what i was asking what what constitutes love in your opinion? what quotes do you feel convey love in its entirety? how would you describe it?
i spent most of today at work and running errands thinking on this and when it comes down to it i don’t really know. not in regards to real life at least. i can talk until im blue in the face about love between characters i like or the concept of it but when i think about love in the real world i have no fucking clue so if this sounds dumb my apologies but i think love is just what happens when a heart understands another heart. when the untranslatable part of someone is heard and understood by another. and when you want to make them laugh and smile because their smile is your smile and their happiness is yours. being nice to someone and wanting them to be happy regardless of what that means to you even if it hurts. right off the top of my dome some quotes that make me think Oh this is love would be:
“I would have swallowed that bullet” by jeanann verlee. the all consuming nature of this quote .. i like to think love in theory would be the willingness to do anything for another person because their heart is yours
the entire poem I LOVE by justinas marcinkevičius which i have posted many times it’s my favorite poem i think this is like. it. i guess if someone asked me in a hurry and i had no time to think to tell them what love is i would point to this poem
“I’m just happy to see you. And it’s such a beautiful night. I feel like I’m in the wrong world. Because I don’t belong in a world where we don’t end up together I don’t. There are parallel universes out there where this didn’t happen. Where I was with you and you were with me and whatever universe that is that’s the one where my heart lives in. I wanted so badly to back into that dream I had the other night. I tried so hard to go back to sleep. You know I never thought love was real. I didn’t. But now I think life isn’t real without it … I don’t know anything anymore. But I know I do love you.” from comet 2014. i think about this quote nearly every day of my fucking life. this is what it is. this is what it all means. but i know i do love you. i think maybe love is so hard to define because you only know and understand it when you’re in it. you know you love them because you do. which is simple and the most complicated thing in the world at the same time.
“I’m with you.” from violight by ichikawa now .. this quote haunted me since i read it. just … i’m with you. i’m with you. i’m with you.
“If I had just told him we were two of a kind … I think he knew. Right from the start … I wanted to show him spring … There was more I wanted to say to him. There was …” this is another ichikawa one its from insects and songs. if only i’d told him we were the same. and the desire to be with someone, to continue being with them ; _ ; that’s something.
“I lived off rats and toads and I starved for you” from the sore feet song by ally kerr. speaks for itself
“But I believe in love / and I know that you do too / and I believe in some kind of path / that we can walk down, me and you” from into my arms by nick cave. god. dont even get me started on nick cave we dont have the time. but there it is huh. me and you. walk with me, my love. just be with me.
“My kingdom for a kiss upon her shoulder … all my blood for the sweetness of her laughter” from lover you should’ve come over by jeff buckley. hello. this speaks for itself as well.
“I’m the radio, you’re the hand / turning me down on the night stand” from i still love you by alexandrian sorry alex i literally can’t keep your song out of my mouth but anyway this is love.
if i think of more i’ll reblog this again and terrorize everyone with an even longer post. but these were just off the cuff. anyway i don’t know. i love love. i hope this is something and im sorry if its nothing
#ask#anon#i was going to put a vinland saga quote in there too but i was like ok relax#anyway i think love is reddie. and i think reddie is love.#all of these are reddie coded btw
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hey hello im writing a piece for laptop ensemble that involves sampling and i need the most repressed/tender/yearning quotes you got. just as gay and heart wrenching as you can. but also no pressure I know youre a stranger on the web I just feel like you post that kind of stuff a lot thank you bye
hope this isnt like too late school keeps me busy :( (also can you put a read more on asks? guess i’ll find out). i ended up choosing many quotes from the same texts cause im indecisive as shit but i’ll bold my favorites from those in case that makes it easier for you!
anyways first of all you can never go wrong w richard siken as obvious as that is. these are both from you are jeff
You’re in a car with a beautiful boy, and he won’t tell you that he loves you, but he loves you. And you feel like you’ve done something terrible, like robbed a liquor store, or swallowed pills, or shoveled yourself a grave in the dirt, and you’re tired. You’re in a car with a beautiful boy, and you’re trying not to tell him that you love him, and you’re trying to choke down the feeling, and you’re trembling, but he reaches over and he touches you, like a prayer for which no words exist, and you feel your heart taking root in your body, like you’ve discovered something you don’t even have a name for.
Let’s say you’ve swallowed a bad thing and now it’s got its hands inside you. This is the essence of love and failure. You see what I mean but you’re happy anyway, and that’s okay, it’s a love story
this one’s from planet of love (the format got fucked bc tumblr is not actually a finctional website but :/ )
I have a megaphone and you play along, because you want to die for love, you always have. Imagine this:You’re pulling the car over. Somebody’s waiting. You’re going to die in your best friend’s arms. And you play along because it’s funny, because it’s written down,you’ve memorized it,
from litany in which certain things are crossed out
I make you pancakes, I take you hunting, I talk to you as if you’re really there.Are you there, sweetheart? Do you know me? Is this microphone live? Let me do it right for once,
sorry about the scene at the bottom of the stairwell and how I ruined everything by saying it out loud. Especially that, but I should have known.You see, I take the parts that I remember and stitch them back together to make a creature that will do what I sayor love me back.
We were inside the train car when I started to cry. You were crying too, smiling and crying in a way that made meeven more hysterical. You said I could have anything I wanted, but I just couldn’t say it out loud.Actually, you said Love, for you, is larger than the usual romantic love. It’s like a religion. It’s terrifying. No one will ever want to sleep with you.
from snow and dirty rain
I had a dream about you. We were in the gold roomwhere everyone finally gets what they want.
that scene from when harry met sally where sally says:
One day I was taking Alice’s little girl fro the afternoon. I’d promised to take her to the circus, and we were in a cab playing “I spy” - you know, “I spy a lamppost”, “I spy a mailbox” - and she looked out the window and there was this man and this woman with two little kids, and the man had one of the kids on his shoulders, and Alice’s little girl said “I spy a family”, and I satrted crying, you know? I just started crying, and I went home
(like anyone else sometimes cries when u see a family doing something nice? is it because i want to participate in a sense of family of my own but have been excluded as a gay person from it’s portrayals and it makes me go :^( cause i dont feel there’s room for me there but i want there to be and i just have to long for this nuclear family heteronormative way of life that i’ve been made to believe is idylic? is it because my parents got divorced and my dad’s an ass and my mom is just a very angry lady and i want to re-do my own childhood? who knows. should we ban movies? yes we should!)
from maurice (ultimate source of tender)
“There was something better in life than this rubbish, if only he could get to it, love, nobility, big spaces where passion clasped peace, spaces no science could reach, but they existed for ever, full of woods some of them, and arched with majestic sky and a friend”
‘Did you ever dream you had a friend, Alec? Nothing else but just “my friend”, he trying to help you and you him. A friend’ he repeated, sentimental suddenly. ‘Someone to last your whole life and you his. I suppose such a thing can’t really happen outside sleep’
we are all so lucky i don’t actually own maurice in english this would just turn into me quoting the whole book
ee cummings voices to voices, lip to lip
the thing perhaps isto eat flowers and not to be afraid.
from virgina woolf’s letters to vita
7 september 1925
january 21 1926 vita writes
I am reduced to a thing that wants Virginia. I composed a beautiful letter to you in the sleepless nightmare hours of the night, and it has all gone: I just miss you, in a quite simple desperate human way. You, with all your un-dumb letters, would never write so elementary phrase as that; perhaps you wouldn’t even feel it. And yet I believe you’ll be sensible of a little gap. But you’d clothe it in so exquisite a phrase that it would lose a little of its reality. Whereas with me it is quite stark: I miss you even more than I could have believed; and I was prepared to miss you a good deal. So this letter is just really a squeal of pain. It is incredible how essential to me you have become. I suppose you are accustomed to people saying these things. Damn you, spoilt creature; I shan’t make you love me any the more by giving myself away like this—But oh my dear, I can’t be clever and stand-offish with you: I love you too much for that. Too truly. You have no idea how stand-offish I can be with people I don’t love. I have brought it to a fine art. But you have broken down my defences. And I don’t really resent it …
and on january 26 virginia writes back
Your letter from Trieste came this morning—But why do you think I don’t feel, or that I make phrases? ‘Lovely phrases’ you say which rob things of reality. Just the opposite. Always, always, always I try to say what I feel. Will you then believe that after you went last Tuesday—exactly a week ago—out I went into the slums of Bloomsbury, to find a barrel organ. But it did not make me cheerful … And ever since, nothing important has happened—Somehow its dull and damp. I have been dull; I have missed you. I do miss you. I shall miss you. And if you don’t believe it, you’re a longeared owl and ass. Lovely phrases? …
from virginia’s diary, about vita on december 21 1925
I like her and being with her and the splendour–she shines in the grocer’s shop in Sevenoaks with a candle lit radiance, stalking on legs like beech trees, pink glowing, grape clustered, pearl hung.
from virginia woolf’s to the light house
What device for becoming, like waters poured into one jar, inextricably the same, one with the object one adored? Could the body achieve, or the mind, subtly mingling in the intricate passages of the brain? or the heart? Could loving, as people called it, make her and Mrs Ramsay one? for it was not knowledge but unity that she desired, not inscriptions on tablets, nothing that could be written in any language known to men, but intimacy itself, which is knowledge, she had thought, leaning her head on Mrs Ramsay’s knee. Nothing happened. Nothing! Nothing! as she leant her head against Mrs Ramsay’s knee. And yet, she knew knowledge and wisdom were stored up in Mrs Ramsay’s heart.
Love had a thousand shapes. There might be lovers whose gift it was to choose out the elements of things and place them together and so, giving them a wholeness not theirs in life, make of some scene, or meeting of people (all now gone and separate), one of those globed compacted things over which thought lingers, and love plays.
there forced themselves upon her other things, her own inadequacy, her insignificance, keeping house for her father off the Brompton Road, and had much ado to control her impulse to fling herself (thank Heaven she had always resisted so far) at Mrs Ramsay’s knee and say to her—but what could one say to her? “I’m in love with you?” No, that was not true. “I’m in love with this all,” waving her hand at the hedge, at the house, at the children. It was absurd, it was impossible
(fun fact: the spanish translation adds something that i’d translate as “one could not say what one meant / what one wanted to say”, which i really like and i was disapointed to find out isnt on the english edition)
It was love, she thought, pretending to move her canvas, distilled and filtered; love that never attempted to clutch its object; but, like the love which mathematicians bear their symbols, or poets their phrases, was meant to be spread over the world and become part of the human gain. So it was indeed. The world by all means should have shared it
from the great gatsby
I didn’t want to go to the city. I wasn’t worth a decent stroke of work but it was more than that—I didn’t want to leave Gatsby. I missed that train, and then another, before I could get myself away (…) Just before I reached the hedge I remembered something and turned around. ‘They’re a rotten crowd,’ I shouted across the lawn. ‘You’re worth the whole damn bunch put together.’ I’ve always been glad I said that. It was the only compliment I ever gave him
from kafka’s diaries
may 27 1911: Today is your birthday, but I am not even sending you the usual book, for it would be only pretence; at bottom I am after all not in position to give you a book. I am writing only because it is so necessary for me today to be near you for a moment
parts from a from a letter he wrote to oskar pollak on february 4 1902
When we talk together the words are hard; we tread over them as if they were rough pavement. The most delicate things acquire awkward feet and we can’t help it. We’re almost in each other’s way; I bump into you and you - I don’t dare and you. When we come to things that are not exactly cobblestones or the Kunstwart, we suddenly see that we are in masquerade, acting with angular faces (especially me, I admit), and then we become sad and bored. Does anyone make you as bored as I do?
then I fall silent and you fall silent and you become bored, and I become bored and it’s all like a stupid hangover and there’s no use lifting a hand. But neither wants to say this to the other, out of shame or fear or - You see, we are afraid of each other, or I am.
Of course I understand it. It’s boring to stand for years in front of an ugly wall and it just won’t crumble away. Of course, but the wall is afraid for itself, fro the garden (if there is one), and you get out of sorts, yawn, have headaches, don’t know where to turn
You often talk with her, not only for the sake of talking. You walk around with her somewhere here or there, or in Roztok, and i sit at my desk at home. You talk with her, and in the middle of a sentence somebody jumps up and makes a bow. That is me with my untrimmed words and angular faces. That lasts only a moment, and then you go on talking. I sit at my desk at home and yawn. I’ve been trhough it already. Wouldn’t that separate us? Is that so strange? Are we enemies? I am very fond of you
from his leters to milena
Last night I dreamed about you. What happened in detail I can hardly remember, all I know is that we kept merging into one another. I was you, you were me. Finally you somehow caught fire.
jane wong. from clearing
We want to believe everything has meaning.Plums blossom over a power grid
and I am in love again. The shame of it.
from leslie harrison’s [sirens]
I’m not Penelope married to faith married to waitingbound in fine soft strands of silk dyed and stretchedin my world longing has teeth and fins has a tastefor blood longing is a room built entirely of knives
Lorde’s melodrama tour interlude
Don’t you wish you could go inside a heart, see the strings and atrium’s, everything beating and bleeding. It’s kind of funny, I spend almost every minute thinking about love. Being guided, and divided by love. But I’ve never seen it. It’s just a rumour, a comedown, an afterglow. I wanna see it, in colour. In the summer, I can almost picture it
from Andrea Long Chu’s on liking women
One day, you tell yourself, it will give you what you want. Then, one day, it doesn’t. Now it dawns on you that your object will probably never give you what you want. But this is not what’s disappointing, not really. What’s disappointing is what happens next: nothing. You keep your object. You continue to follow it around, stash it in a drawer, water it, tweet at it. It still doesn’t give you what you want—but you knew that. You have had another realization: not getting what you want has very little to do with wanting it. Knowing better usually doesn’t make it better. You don’t want something because wanting it will lead to getting it. You want it because you want it
ada limón, In a Mexican Restaurant I Recall How Much You Upset Me
But love is impossible and it goes ondespite the impossible. You’re the muscleI cut from the bone and still the boneremembers, still it wants (so much, it wants)the flesh back, the real thing,if only to rail against it, if onlyto argue and fight, if only to missa solve-able absence.
i dont think i need to get into mitski songs because you probably already know but basically pink in the night/come into the water/once more to see you/in happy when she says if you’re going take the train so i can hear it rumble one last rumble/in i want you from the first verse to the first time she goes “i just need a quiet place where i can scream how i love you” (YES the card thing is very important)/the first verse of i will (w emphasis on everything you feel is good i f you wold only let you)/abbey/strawberry blond
sufjan steven’s futile devices obviously predatory wasp of the palisades you know the drill
was going to find some twin fantasy lyrics but i started thinking about famous prophets (minds) and like. emotionally left my body so. i wont be thinking about it or any other songs anymore it makes me too crazy
from frances ha
It’s that thing when you’re with someone and you love them and they know it and they love you and you know it but it’s a party and you’re both talking to other people and you’re laughing and shining and you look across the room and catch each other’s eyes. But not because you’re possessive, or it’s precisely sexual, but because that is your person in this life and it’s funny and sad but only because this life will end and it’s this secret world that exists right there. In public. Unnoticed. That no one else knows about. It’s sort of like how they say that other dimensions exist all around us but we don’t have the ability to perceive them. That’s what I want out of a relationship. Or just life, I guess.
from ellen lee’s notes on twin fantasy that i revisit constantly
there’s no going back to deliver these words to the ones they were really meant for. That’s how heartbreak feels, I guess. It feels like your heart in between the teeth of someone who’s looking away. When you’ve lost your loved object, what happens to all the things you have to say to them? When they’re turned away, what happens to all the things that you couldn’t, but desperately need(ed) to, say to their face? He dissociates himself from his own romance until it becomes a fantasy. You have your bleeding heart, you have a finite set of memories — when nothing new enters and you’re unwilling to let go, then you have a fantasy. The loved object enters into you and transforms.
the journey home by dermot bolger(havent read this at all dont really plan to/dont know a thing about it either i just came across this shit like 2 years ago and i still think about it)
I wanted to hurt him; I wanted just to touch him. What I wanted I’m not really sure. If he had stopped and opened his arms I would have walked towards him; I would have sat on the kerb all night with him
adam b, sweet i have a (really gay) heart
i feel like my body is the extension of a lake. i feel really badabout not telling you the truth, sometimes. i feelreally small next to you. tall boys remind me of bean stalks.i wish i had your legs. i wish i could know your handsbefore i even touch them
aaaand i think that’s all i could think of and track down, hope this is actually helpful and not too long (i am indecisive no kidding). also ksjdfg it’s nice that you thought to ask me this and i did have fun going over all these quotes so thank you 💖💖💖
#answered#i hope this fits what you were looking for!!#and i hope read mores are working on mobile djfgk#c#thing#Anonymous
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