#anyways ill shut up for now lol
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& ok... going from the last post.......
Anyone up to hear my thoughts for a new Em&M story set up?
#im just#testing the waters#i dont want to assume anything#but im trying to be a bit braver in the face of adversity#so um anyways#it doesnt follow em becoming champion bUT#its connected?#anyways ill shut up for now lol#just. in case
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BRO LITERALLY DOXXED HIMSELF TO THE CYCLOPS. he was asking to get jumped come on
#ATHENA WAS LITTERALLY BEGGING FOR BRO TO SHUT UP AND HE WAS JUST LIKE:#“HEY CYCLOPS IM THE REIGNING KING OF ITHACA AND MY NAMES ODYSSEUS BET YOU CANT FIND ME”#my art#epic the musical#epic the cyclops saga#odysseus#odysseus of ithaca#odysseus epic#athena#athena epic#eurylochus epic#out off topic but people that sent doodle request on ask im not ignoring y'all ok#it's just that my grandpa fell down on the kitchen and hit his head so now ive been a bit busy taking care of him#he's good btw nothing happened to him it was just a cut#but the gdi head always bleeds so much it was so scary#plus i felt another artblock starting so I had to doodle something silly and funny to kinda motivate myself lol#AND PLUS i started trying animating and turns out I KINDA HATE-LOVE IT#it's SO MUCH WORK TAKES SO MUCH TIME IT CAN BE SO BORING AT TIMES#but also once you kinda check how its looking overall it feels so good and fun??#anyways ill probably get to those asks around the weekend when ill have some free time :)
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I decided to start talking about Wick and Rocky's relationship because I like their dynamics too, I like seeing Wick scared of Rocky and Rocky being aggressive with him, which is unusual because Rocky is rarely aggressive with anyone, but of course Wick is an exception to rule
Also my mini opinion about their possible relationship, I think that if Rocky didn't have to fight for his place, then he and Wick could become friends, or at least tolerate each other a little, I also see some superficial similarities, their gentlemanly and romantic natures, and their common love for explosions (remembering the quarrymen chapter), but this is my assumption, I think that I don't understand the characters' personalities well, so I can be wrong in this assumption, something like that. So, what do you think about their relationship?
for starters, i cannot thank you enough for this ask! as i’ve said previously, i have many thoughts on these two, so it’s nice to finally be able to share some of them. although given the extent to which i think about them, i apologize in advance if this is sloppy and sort of everywhere … while i’ll try to structure things the best i can, i cannot promise i’ll succeed! but hopefully this is an enjoyable reply nonetheless.
one of my favorite things about rocky and wick’s relationship is absolutely how aggressive rocky is towards the aristocrat ; he is prone to glares and cruel jokes and borderline hissing whenever the man is within his line of sight, or can be brought to a wailing-fit over the mere mention of his name from miss m’s mouth. there is a childishness to it, but a very prominent threat as well in spite of rocky’s usual incompetence. so he goes out of his way to posture around wick, readily lying and adorning himself with the gangster drapes he so badly wants to wear, in the hopes that it intimidates … will even badmouth wick’s family and make fun of his name and rock related obsession to mitzi, and so on so forth! yet all of this is very reminiscent of schoolyard bullying rather than anything too severe, though we as the audience understand rather quickly that rocky would bash wick’s head in with a tire iron if he could. ( translation : if it wouldn’t earn the tears or hate of a certain beloved mitzi may ) and it’s all very intense despite the absence of actual violence! and i understand why many fans see this as unusual for rocky and believe that it’s only wick who makes him act so aggressively, but i’d argue it isn’t really wick at all that prompts such scary reactions from him … and that rocky is a deeply angry character who’s a.) been boiling quietly for a long, long time and b.) has turned wick into a punching bag of sorts for this inner world of resentment and hurt. basically, when he’s judging the well-to-do or poking fun, his eyes don’t look at wick and actually acknowledge him as sedgewick sable ; instead this is a being, something vague and metaphorical, who threatens to upseat rocky’s permanence in the lackadaisy and steal away his savior, and he’s had a hand in the violinist’s misfortune for a long time.
obviously, rocky doesn’t think wick robbed him of his family twice over and made him homeless, but he is channeling the fear and anguish of those events into his loathing for wick, if that makes sense? it’s easier that way -- to finally have an outlet for everything bleeding inside of you, to be able to bite and claw at something without feeling conflicted or having to take personal accountability for your own mistakes … which is something that i think rocky does struggle with to a degree. he is sort of a finger pointer! his pain has to be worth something, it has to be for someone else ; spending years homeless and losing his last bit of family was for freckle, and the scrambling of his literal brain was for mitzi, and that means he can’t ever be angry with them! well, except that he is, somewhat, but he buries it deep down instead of feeling it. with freckle there is a sense of strain between them -- an air of ‘you owe me’ from rocky to freckle as he uses freckle to appease miss m, and he constantly pokes fun at his cousin too. it’s lighter than his jabs at wick, but there’s a constant pestering, a reminder of how good freckle has it : how he’s got the mom and the house and the job and the girl most notably. i don’t think rocky is intending to come across as mean, and to his credit he hardly does! but it’s rather clear to me that some part of him, some hidden and deeply hurt part, is rather indignant about taking the fall for freckle all those years ago. which he can’t understand, because how could he? he made that choice, he decided to take accountability for something he didn’t do because he loves freckle and knows it’d be so easy to believe this family tragedy was roark’s fault ; the devilish child he was, all troublesome and too broken to properly fit anywhere. so there is a disconnect born here, where rocky can’t comprehend that he’d be angry at freckle, so instead these not so great feelings are placed elsewhere and silently boil over time. and with mitzi … i don’t think he’s angry at her per se, but there is a frustrated and desperate chorus of : why him and why not me, when i’m the one out here dying for you? which is certainly unpleasant. of course, rather than allowing those feelings to be more aimed at miss m, whom he feels unloved by, he ( again! ) represses these emotions and allows them to fester into his greatest fears and fantastical complexes. i think there is a lot of other miscellaneous anger he could have towards others too … perhaps some part of him is sore upon seeing ivy’s normal lifestyle, watching her go to university and knowing that’s been taken from him. or an ache felt when hearing stories from zib and the band and how they used to travel successfully, living as nomads, and rocky is all too reminded of his similar lifestyle and how he couldn’t make it work as effortlessly. people with immense trauma are more prone to irrational anger and jealousy, to viewing everything around them as unfair and believing it’s even more unjust that so many people get to live comfortably while they’ve suffered. a situation that gets more messy when you’re someone like rocky, a man who’s willingly made choices that have harmed himself and wants to continue on with his smiling, bumbling fool of an act. he does not want to be angry, does not want to see it within himself, i think, which leads to an accidental increase of it.
all of this is to reiterate that wick is a scapegoat for rocky and nothing more. it’s why he’s rather hypocritical whenever it concerns the man. for example, it was stated by tracy that he looks down upon wick for his excessive presence at the bar, yet he appears to enjoy hanging out with zib -- who drinks just as often! he makes fun of how all wick ever talks about is rocks, when he himself is prone to poetry rambles that people find irritating or boring, and etc etc. this is also just a human nature thing, to critique someone you heavily dislike and even going as far as to belittle things you love or do in your own day to day because you just hate them that bad! but given rocky’s willingness to befriend anyone, it more so reeks of a dehumanization element. wick is every obstacle in his way, every divine force that threatens to send him packing again, so he is equal parts unnerved by wick’s presence and angry about it. it is mostly a fear response we are seeing, an emotion that’s morphed into long held resentment and anger. so his actions are extremely defensive, with him trying to push wick far away and keep him and mitzi separate, like some sort of animal attempting to ward off a threat that’s come too close to their home. despite the loaded animosity there, this hate has hardly reached its peak … but it shall only grow more intense as things continue onward i’m afraid, since as it stands ( in the comic at least ) rocky is at an all time low … and is ten times more desperate. i’d honestly say wick has become so warped in his mind’s eye that he can only strive towards ‘winning’ over the other man, because that’s all he can see anymore. i think mitzi implying that wick willingly helped her out, the intense head injury, and rocky’s fragile emotional state is exactly what pushes him towards premeditated murder in look-see. i don’t know how people perceive that arc, but to me it’s very clear that rocky actively sought to see the deaths of wes and fish that night. going as far as to lament that he’d be, “very disappointed if ( he ) dreamed them,” and purposefully luring the marigold duo away to have freckle pick them off. while you could argue that this was a smart move, in a gangster sort of sense, there’s still no denying that rocky is oddly chipper about the whole thing and is now seeking death out ; whereas before his methods of vengeance were just, well, ruining people’s livelihood but ultimately leaving them alive. this isn’t to discredit the fact that rocky is going through something! he is in a very muddled and dark place, mentally and physically, but even tracy has said that the head injury hasn’t changed rocky’s personality -- it’s only brought things to the surface.
source : q&a with tracy .
which, yeah! makes sense! head trauma can cause a person to become a wreck emotionally ( think mood swings, irritability, etc ) but it doesn’t completely morph someone either. personality changes may occur, but it’s not like you’re being rewritten entirely, you know? and given tracy’s old statement, it’s clear that ‘personality changes’ aren’t a side effect he’s suffering from. something that adds to my beginning statement, which is that rocky is a deeply angry and troubled person, more so than fans give him any credit for.
however, to touch upon your mini opinion about these two, i actually wholeheartedly agree that rocky and wick could become friends if circumstances were different. they do in fact have many superficial similarities, but one of the more prominent things they deeply share is never really belonging in the groups they frequent. this is more overt with rocky’s character, yet wick faces it too in subtle ways. the well-to-do crowd, seen through the investors, find the gentleman to be lacking in about every place imaginable ; to them he is an obsessive freak who cares too deeply for meager rocks, something they constantly mock him for, while he’s also being noticeably set apart from the rest of them … he seems younger than the investors, more excitable, passionate, and a little less experienced, and doesn’t seem to care for money or reputation as much as them either. there is a constant rubbing between him and them, where what he enjoys is seen as wrong, such as his love for the lackadaisy and his choice in paramor, a grieving widow with extremely dangerous ties. we also know that wick doesn’t have many friends at all, with the only two he has being lacy and church ( church is listed as such on his character profile, in a sort of tongue-in-cheek way ), both of whom work for or with him. they are obliged to hang around, and while they care in varying ways, they are prone to judging him just as much. honestly, it’s not shocking that wick seeks refuge at his chosen speakeasy! but even there he is rather distant from everyone else. he doesn’t speak to zib ever in the comics, nor seems all too close with viktor, ivy, or horatio … it is merely mitzi he is close to, even if he knows of the other people who work there. and, once again, wick very obviously doesn’t fit in. he is not gangster material, could never be an atlas may replacement, much less someone who could get his paws dirty in such an active way. so he has his feet in two different worlds and doesn’t know how to fit into either of them, or which one he actually wants to fit into more. i think in many ways rocky could relate -- these are two very lonely people who wish to belong somewhere and be accepted by some group or another but go about it in all the wrong ways. wick, who is too hesitant to fully commit to what he wants and is worse off for it, and then rocky, who obsessively throws himself against what he wants until he breaks every bone in his body. they also have explosives to bond over, lol, and other miscellaneous things like their taste in women i suppose … but this potential bond adds to the tragedy of lackadaisy, where we see two people who on every level should get along but we’re burdened with the knowledge that it’s an impossibility anyway, because there’s no removing the circumstance of which they’re in.
though i like to believe that despite wick’s fear of rocky, he maintains a kindness towards him regardless. i think his worries about rocky are rather surface level … he doesn’t know the boy at all, really, and thus can’t make heads or tails of him, hence him believing the lie in balderdash. so when i’m feeling particularly self indulgent, i like imagining a world where they’re forced together and sort of ‘stuck’ together ; to which rocky finally breaks and exposes his wounds to wick, in every sense of the word, and wick finally gets him. the aggression, the possessiveness of mitzi … it is all fear and desperation and a profound sadness, things he’d sympathize with. if rocky was able to explain that he loathes wick because if he saves the lackadaisy then mitzi won’t need him anymore and that it’s not fair that wick gets to so easily fix things when rocky would give his soul for his home, for her, and how wick could render every sacrifice he’s already made for naught by smoothing things over with some greenbacks and he can’t lose this, he just can’t --! … which, well, wick is too kind of a man to be able to do anything except feel awful, even though it’s not his fault at all. here we have two people who could coexist! and they should, since rocky logically can’t do every speakeasy job ( band member, rumrunner, mitzi’s shadow, also the guy who gets the money for the hooch ) by himself, just like how wick can’t save the lackadaisy with only his cash and limited booze stash. it’d be a joint cooperation, a collaboration between them, both equally important in the grand scheme of crime’s every turning wheel … but rocky’s rage and fear won’t let him see that, and likely never will. still, in scenarios where everything ends up alright for the lackadaisy and the people involved in it ( which is not how canon will go, by the way ), i fancy wick and rocky getting better within their relationship. rocky will always be prickly and quick to upset around the other man sadly, but perhaps he could see wick in a softer kind of light. or at least understand vaguely enough that he isn’t out to get rocky, so to speak. and then maybe wick learns that pancakes soothe rocky’s ire and poorly makes them anytime he wishes to talk to the man, and other fun things like that! but you should have more confidence in your character analysis skills, because you were spot on ( at least in my eyes ) about them potentially getting along if things were different. it’s certainly a fun aspect to play around with, and is important to note when discussing their relationship so you can fully understand just how warped rocky’s perspective on things are. and how unstable and traumatized he is too, of course </3 sidenote, but i also hope that throughout everything i’ve said here, or anything i’ve said before on my blog, that my love for rocky and my own sympathy for him comes across well enough. while he’s deeply flawed and i have no qualms discussing said flaws in depth, i also don’t think of him as some insane freak who’s evil at his core or anything like that. honestly, i adore analyzing him so much as a character because of how far down his issues go! he’s very well written, i’ll say, as is wick and many of the other characters, but i digress.
once more, thank you for the ask! i’ll end this here because i fear if i don’t i’ll start going in circles, since their relationship is so vast and very important for rocky in a character sense. hopefully i shed some more light on it though! i love these two to bits and pieces and i wouldn’t be half as invested in lackadaisy if their dynamic wasn’t so monumental -- at least to me.
#my asks.#lackadaisy analysis.#lackadaisy#rocky rickaby#sedgewick sable#tracy j butler#i also think rocky’s sudden taste for marigold blood is him making marigold his other scapegoat#he isn’t dealing with anything in a healthy manner and is so traumatized it’s starting to spill out of him … which is. uh. not good!!#but it sure is what’s currently happening regardless#cannot stress enough that rock is a very ill and traumatized individual who hasn’t had a single break in his life#he is constantly in stressful situations that are dangerous … and like.#when you’re constantly put in those situations you become numb. and angry. and it becomes hard to heal#or to truly connect to others … etc#i could talk in depth about rocky’s traumas and why they’ve caused this anger issue and this inner disharmony inside#because frankly there’s a lot there! and i hate to say it but people who are hurt normally show their hurt in ugly ways#especially if mentally ill … which rocky is imo#it’s just the reality of things! this isn’t me demonizing mental illness or the effects of trauma. i’m just being realistic here#someone as deeply troubled as rocky ( someone with NO outlet and whom hides his feelings from others and himself )#is bound to be. well. troubled!! his smiling facade is merely another mask he wears to cope and to be good for the people he loves#it is not … really rocky rickaby … rocky rickaby is that and the wrath and the self destruction and more#AHEM but i digress. how rocky treats wick and all that has really done wonders for understanding his character#and i truly love the wick / rocky / mitzi trio so bad. their relationships with each other is what drew me into this world#like. i am shaking them so much. the overlap!! the complexities inherit in their bonds and what that says about the individual characters!#it’s amazing truly lol like … i have had such fun thinking about them twenty four seven for the past three-ish months#anyway. anyway! i love analyzing these bitches. they can fit so much into them#and i’m rooting for wickmitzi endgame and for wick to desperately try to bond with rocky … while his bloodshot eye is twitching as we speak#lots of fun!!! lots of pain and agony too … rocky is nothing but a painful character alas. that is his nature. but that is also his appeal#and ooops i’ll shut up in the tags now i just. have a lot to say. and a lotta love to give to these two!! but uh. yeah <3 loved writing thi
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I can't be normal about something can I?
Yet another art of @socialc1imb's au that took too damn long to draw (think ibis said it was like 2 days worth of time save me (i still dont know how to do backgrounds and back lighting hel p))
[tw blood and spoilers for Skys au ig?]
(This art is quite long so I know tumblr is gonna crunch the HELL outta this thing. So if it looks like hella pixelly, tappin on it should make it look better lol)
Some cropped versions below of parts I really liked! (mainly ya boi Apollo lol)
#dont look at the blod and spilt wine for too long#idk how to draw liquids 😔#colors b hinting at crimes#crimes i know of at least lol#i still dunno what tf happened to that bullet bro its fuckin aceattorney all over again#also debated attempting to put like#gunpower residue on minds head from one of the comics#but i didn't know how exactly to do that + didnt think it would show up much#anyways so far thats the last big boi art for a bit till i get a new idea#tho i do have some doodles of this au (and mayhaps a cosplay?? depends how confident i feel lol))#also fun fact the dagger Mind has is based off the one i have irl#since thats the best ref i could get for one lol#also thought the lil point looked like lightning bolts and that fits mr apollo so#ye#okay ill shut up now bye bye :}#chonny jash#chonnys charming chaos compendium#cj heart#cj mind#cj soul#cj whole#cj clue au#-atlas art-
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i added some botanicals to the tank.. leaves, cork bark, and seed pods that the crabs can hide in 🦀 also i've had the water running all day without the water heater plugged in, and the temps are perfect! 26-27 degrees in the lower water section and 27-28 degrees at the top pooling area.
the LED light bar (arcadia jungle dawn) that i have on the tank seems to heat up the pooling area nicely, which is heating up all the water as it cycles. so we'll see if i'll ever need to plug in the heater 🤷♀️
#anyway ill shut up about the tank for a bit lol.. now i need to plan exactly what plants i want to buy#aiming to have the crabs in there by october#i also ordered a big water testing kit that i'm gonna have to learn to use lol#crabitat paludarium#crabitatpaludarium
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~
#they speak!#it's probably just the illness that's making me extra irritable but like.#roommate kept coming up to me this morning going oh did i wake you up? i'm sorry if i did. did i do that or no? i'm really sorry.#and i kept telling him to stop saying sorry because i didn't have the brain power to phrase#'you could've been more considerate of your volume but you also have the right to use the common space so it's whatever'#but he said it to me again before i went to my room just now and it's like. ok. shut up.#if you actually cared that much u would've just been quieter in the first place actually.#anyways. annoyed. there were some annoying customers in the store today but it was whatever.#i feel like my fucks to give had already worn out with all the ppl in my social circle/my parents and the recent ongoings of that#[redacted] was being passive aggressive to me in the group chat and it's like. ok! idk what u want from me.#and i'm grateful for them for coming over and helping me with cleaning last week#and it's those sorts of actions that let me know they care and want good things for me#but like. i haaaate telling them anything because even innocuous non-private things get turned into judgement with them.#also. more and more i can feel how i'm drifting away from h and now with retrospect i can see how we mutually hurt each other :)#i keep coming back to this one period where i really wanted to take them to try dimsum and they kept saying they were too scared to try it#and in their new friend group they regularly go out n get dimsum together. which on the surface is like. why didn't you want to go with /me#i told you i wanted to share what i liked and i would explain what things were and i could do the talking and you still said no#but it's also very much a reflection of how i always rolled over and enabled them. i never challenged them. i was always passive.#i also feel like i'm heavily neglecting e and a recently and i can tell how the physical distance is affecting us and idk. it's weird.#anyways. another post that should've been a journal entry! lol!#when [redacted] helped with cleaning they also buried my journal under my like#300 packets of sesame candies and i can't be bothered to dig it out. also my bandaids are missing now. <3#ik this also sounds passive aggressive but genuinely appreciate the help i just kinda hate how they think hidin everything in boxes is good#'we need to get you some more storage boxes and containers!!' actually i think that will be the opposite of helpful.#i need everything visible and on open surfaces so i can 1) remember they exist for me to use and 2) not have barriers for me to get to them
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ok stop telling me to buy it now
#snap chats#can i just say my university does the mail office SO dirty LOL#usually i get my packages from the front desk but this one had to be gotten from The Office#dude the girl at te front was like ‘oh yeah you just have to go behind the bushes’ and i thought she was talkin A General Area#NO ITS LIKE SOME DQ SHIT WHERE YOU HAVE TO GO BEHIND THIS LITTLE WALL OF BUSHES INTO THIS LIL DOOR CREVICE SHIT#insane. anyways i have the game now shut up#letting the shit download. because discs are just glorified download codes at this point.#ill prob stream this when i get back lmao
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I’m glad they changed Jace’s hair because jfc but now I’m confused about how much time has passed because that is a lot of hair growth in what I thought was like a month maybe
#i am once again asking this show to have a less confusing timeline#or maybe i just dont understand mens hair lol#jacaerys velaryon#house of the dragon#house of the dragon spoilers#hotd#hotd spoilers#anyway ill shut up now
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My problem is that I genuinely think they kinda look alike
#another side effects of my terrible face recognition abilities#anyways#spider shoots webs#so#Webster#web#haha lol get it#spider web#ill shut up now#david webster
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(Click for better quality)
Oh, to be a lil pretty fairy in a magical secret forest. Taking a lil nap on a lil tree with twisted, wild branches. Just peacefully dreaming of what your next lil foraged meal will be. Perhaps you’ll catch a lil swim in the river, or pull a lil prank on some humans tomorrow. But right now? You’re gonna catch a lil sleep.
#feeling melancholy and forlorn#lookit me using big words#drew this to relax and instead dealt with csp and tumblr being a bitch when i went to upload this cause the file was too big#so now im annoyed#and this is a screenshot so it completely ruined the quality#grrrrrrrr#anyways#back to peacefulness lol#i know i gotta finish refs but lemme have my fairy yu moment#i think im gonna draw her some more#it was oddly comforting#couldn't decide if i should give her glasses or not#maybe in the next one#... okay ill shut up now#yucky draws#my art#my art shit#self insert#digital art
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— usagis jealousy during bmc, and if it really is just that? a meta
(read more bc i anticipate this getting very long)
before we talk about bmc lets set the stage a bit: usagi has just defeated the dark kingdom no more than a week ago (its unclear how much time passes btwn the two arcs but i can’t imagine its longer than a week, or even a couple days, as we see usamamo exchange their keepsakes at the end of act 14, something they promised they’d do the next time they saw each other during act 8, which means that this must be the first time theyve seen each other since defeating the dark kingdom, which again, i cant imagine took longer than a couple days) which means she has just experienced: watching her boyfriend die in front of her, being overloaded with a host of tragic memories from her past life (one of them including watching her boyfriend die and killing herself), her boyfriend getting brainwashed, having to kill her boyfriend because there was no getting through to him, killing herself due to the aforementioned trauma, and finally finding out her friends died— sacrificing themselves for her to bring her back. so thats all Crazy we can agree that is crazy for a 14 year old girl to go through? right? okay? good.
now that we’ve agreed on that can you imagine a little girl falling out of a large portal in the sky then threatening you with a GUN (fake sure but she didnt know that originally) and demanding you hand over the overpowered magical artifact you JUST endured all that trauma trying to protect? and then that same girl brainwashes your family? obviously usagi isnt going to trust chibiusa right away. i mean look at what she’s working with, and then when she tries to bring up these concerns no one believes her. i mean sure WE as the audience know chibiusa isnt a threat, and the others think she isnt because they cant see a little girl as particularly threatening but when you look at things from usagis perspective, then OBVIOUSLY she’d be suspicious— i mean she repeatedly refuses to answer any sort of questions (obviously this is not chibiusas fault, shes a scared child and the questioning terrifies her further, but again, think about this from usagis perspective). and again id like to reiterate that all of this is directly after the dark kingdom, usagi hasn’t had any time to heal from those fresh fresh emotional scars Of Course she’s a bit irrational.
now, to the topic at hand, was usagis jealousy really just that? regular jealousy at seeing mamoru spending time with someone who isnt her (even if the person in question was a small child that logically posed no threat to her relationship)?
obviously i dont think so, but let me prove to you its not just simple irrational jealousy but also usagis ptsd and specifically her abandonment issues that are what cause her to react in the way she does.
again, id like to remind the jury of the shit usagi has just gone through and how that all has caused usagi to develop some very serious abandonment issues. we see usagis worst fear(s) represented in nightmare sequences a handful of times throughout the series. exactly twice actually, once in infinity and once in dream and each have the shared theme of her loved ones leaving her in some way. in infinity they turn against her and berate her before ultimately dying, and in dream they’re simply dead. again both times it is very clear that the root of what she fears is abandonment.
these abandonment issues however, first begin to present themselves in arc 2. we even get a nightmare sequence in arc 2 similar to those of arcs 3&4. most interpret this as usagi just being jealous usagi. however really look at it, its not that she’s just afraid of mamoru being taken away by chibiusa, she’s afraid of them both abandoning her. look at what she says “wait! where are you going? dont leave me behind!” (or “wait! where are you going? dont leave me here!” in the eternal edition, i prefer the crystal translation simply because it makes it more explicit her issue is them leaving her alone) if it truly truly was an issue of jealousy why would she be afraid of them both leaving her behind? why say something like that? wouldnt it make more sense to say something like…. i dunno “chibiusa? dont take him from me!” instead?
once again, everything she goes through in arc 1 is a big contributor in this, however recall arc 2 begins with the senshi being picked off one-by-one (all except minako), and usagi can do nothing but watch and it eats her up inside. she quite literally begins to lose everyone dear to her all over again even while the last time is still so fresh in her mind.
and during most of this what does chibiusa do? she stays secretive, doesnt give usagi any information even when usagi tells her she cant trust her if she doesnt. (again i wanna reiterate that this is no fault of chibiusas however its not usagis fault either) so of course usagi begins to register chibiusa as a threat, and again with the information she has + her inarguable connection to the black moon clan this isnt a logical leap in the slightest.
thus when mamoru begins to spend more time with chibiusa instead of her it causes two things to happen. a) usagi is left without the emotional support she desperately needs in all of this (through no fault of mamoru, he completely misreads what usagi needs in this particular situation, he thinks that by helping with chibiusa it’ll ease her stress to have one less thing off her plate, however of course we know this does the opposite) and b) she begins to register chibiusa as a genuine threat to mamorus safety. usagis terrified of losing him all over again when she just got him back. look at this scene, i mean really truly look at it. look at what usagis saying, this doesnt sound like the ramblings of a jealous girlfriend it sounds like someone who’s terrified of losing their most important person all over again. “stay here with me. never go away. ill do everything i can to protect you…” (or “…i wanna be with you. dont go away. ill protect you with everything i have” in crystal, here i prefer the eternal edition again bc i think it more explicitly defines usagis problem) these lines just don’t make sense under the simple jealousy interpretation, what does protecting him have anything to do with envy at the time hes spending with chibiusa and not with her? nothing. shes not upset at that, she puts emphasis on protecting him because thats the true root of the problem, shes afraid of losing him again to yet another supernatural threat after the crystal.
and to close out id like to show everyone the viz dub version of this scene because i think it sums up my points incredibly well, as well as making it abundantly clear what the root of usagis problems Really are, specifically through the inclusion of the line “i wont lose you again”
#sailor moon#bishoujo senshi sailor moon#bssm#pgsm#pretty guardian sailor moon#sailor moon crystal#usagi tsukino#sere.txt#sere stfu#i will defend usagi tsukino till the day i keel over and DIE#like listen do i think jealousy was part of it#eh maybe a little#but i think that jealousy was mostly due to the aforementioned IssuesTM#because we see usagi actually jealous in arc 3#and shes nowhere near as explosive and irrational#she keeps it to herself mostly#granted this is also later in their relationship and a whole year later#but still its such a stark contrast#and when usagi admits to being jealous#thats all she says that she was jealous#none of this: please dont leave me ill protect you#type of stuff#anyway ill shut up now#i probably shouldve added this to the meta LOL
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there’s something so overstimulating about listening to someone snoring and so clearly i can never share a bed with anyone ever
#shut uuuuppppp#i know it’s not your fault but ssshhhhhhhhhh#do i also snore?#yeah probably tbf#but im always the last asleep and first awake so i will never know#ANYWAY#this is stupid ill shut up now lol
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oh btw the url poll made me remember. i might change my name AGAIN so be prepared question mark
#im going from pixieplanets -> wanderingcoyotes#becaus i like it more LOl#also idk i dont . Like pixieplanets anyore? like i see it and go “That isnt me..”#ANYWAYS ill shut up now#chitters#thoughts
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What song are you obsessed with atm?
Easy.
Like A Kennedy by Heart Attack Man
(bc of the version that came out featuring Awsten Knight lmao. I LOVE Heart Attack Man, tho so that collab was mind-blowing to have came out. Found them a year ago because some girl was talking about their Fake Blood album in a vinyl haul. Decent Pop-Punk if your into it.)
We Need More Bricks by Neck Deep too. (That album has been in rotation since January. Oh my god bro FINALLY a good fucking Neck Deep album. Past two projects really were mid in comparison to Life's Not Out To Get You. The Peace and The Panic being better than All Distortions imo bc of many of its tracks, but I remember hearing Heartbreak Of The Century when it dropped and being as flabbergasted as I was when FOB dropped Love From The Otherside-only difference is that the album didn't come out as being v mid to me when it dropped. S/T is literally how you make a bomb ass pop punk album.
There's more I'm listening to but I'm not gonna insert a long list of songs here. Might make a playlist later.
#idk but ye#thanks for the ask!!#i can talk an ear off abt pop punk bc like its my bread and butter i will always love it#i HATE the tiktok mainstream of it though dont even get me started bc i hate mgk so much he is SO trash#mf trying to resurrect the pop punk genre w travis barker when literally the only reason you sound good is bc u ripped off blink#ur sound is literally stolen lol. “pop punk isnt deadddd” no its not but u literally are putting a giant shit stain on the genre by creating#music bruh#fake ass wannabe#sorry but like he irks me so bad#he opened for fob back in the maina tour for me in 2018 and he was just SO bad live#anyway. music is subjective i just wish there was more innovation in the industry bc now days everything sounds the same#AAAAA#sorry ill shut up
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me smiling serenely: i love house of leaves but i understand that its an incredibly difficult book to get into and is really, REALLY not for everyone, and johnny truant's... everything can make like half the book difficult to get through if you don't IMMEDIATELY click with his character
some complete stranger minding their business: house of leaves kinda sucks and johnny truant ruined the book. just skip his parts
me, crying screaming throwing up etc.: SHUT UP...... SHUT UP.............. LEAVE ME OLONE
#forgive me for not making the houses blue im on mobile. also to my other followers ill probly reblog stuff soon im just Thinking lol#at any moment i could start making annoying amounts of textposts about#house of leaves#if i so desired. this isnt anything new as far as my interests go tho lol#anyway the average critique i see of HoL on here is very reasonable (misogyny; shock content; a little full of itself)#but also ppl being like This Book Sucks. directly in the tag makes me a little insane#and also GENUINELY if you skip johnny's stuff you HAVENT read house of leaves youve only read the navidson record#the fuckeng... THEMES AND NARRATIVES ok.......#like yea im biased as an enjoyer of guys who suck spiralling forever and ever but like its more than tbat you know.#i cuold make a whole post abt trauma and the search for deeper meaning when theres only emptiness and how important johnny is to that theme#maybe i will make a post about that i dont know.#but anyway. sometimes a book isnt good or bad its an experience ok?#anyway these tags are getting too long i should shut up now. rip johnny you wouldve loved tumblr tags
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ci flower x kafu save me... save me ci flower x kafu...
#meow.txt#as far as i know i am maybe the only person who ships these two...#in my aus kafu acts stoic but is really masking to hide her quirkiness#and ci is usually a girlfailure. sorry for using that word i dont know what else to call her other than that to be fair#they have a dynamic similar to minoharu from proseka that's like. the closest thing i can describe it to. anyways ill shut up now hdgsgsh#i commissioned an artist whose work i really like to draw them together and they're so good at ship art im not ready for it 😭#i hate that i have to specify this at all but i typically see kafu as 16-18 years old and ci as 17...#i know a lot of people hc kafu as a kid but she has never read that way to me. she's at the very least a teenager#imo anyways lol
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