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baedreamverse · 8 months ago

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SERENITY: Schedule One

word count: 1354 SERENITY | next

synopsis: Who knew ‘We Got Married’ would bring back the heat for this upcoming season with an “ACE” couple, let alone a couple who ended terms with each other before their debut. Would their old flame spark once more or would they pass each other instead? With the exciting news starring Lee Heeseung from ENHYPEN and Choi Areum from SERENITY, would the old lovebirds be able to show us their profound partnership through challenging missions under one roof?

[Ari POV]

"Congratulations ladies! You did amazing out there," Yui exclaims as we enter our dressing room, the stylists surprising us with confetti thrown into the air. We grin triumphantly, it was our fifth win for our comeback promotion 'Eyes On Me' from our tenth album ‘Yours Truly’. All those sleepless nights of producing the songs while on tour were definitely worthwhile seeing our fans enjoy our music. It’s always fun having to interact with them during pre-recording as they show us their undying love and support.

Jaemi, our leader, raises the trophy excitedly waving it in the air, "Our hard work is paying off! You know what calls for tonight~"

"Sleeping in?" I joke half-heartedly, earning a 'are you for real' look from Lihua. "What? I just miss my bed." I continue to pout.

“Anyways,” Hyejin continued, dismissing my joke as she shook her head, “Why don’t we celebrate by eating good tonight with delivery?”

“That sounds like a good idea. I’ve been craving fried chicken these past few days,” Lihua gestures to her stomach, rubbing it in circles. "We should also add tteokbokki and ramen to the order."

“Should we also go on Weverse for a bit?” I suggest, earning a nod of approval from our leader.

“We should, especially since we won an award today,” she said, “I’m sure they’d enjoy that. We can go on while we wait for delivery.”

"Since your promotions will be ending next week, I'll have the company request a short break for you girls soon after the scheduled activities. You've worked hard for the past year during the world tour. It's about time you deserve a break," Yui announces, quickly taking note of it on her phone. However, I doubt the company will even acknowledge how overworked we have been since the tour. Our fans, Aurora, have been active on social media platforms regarding the demand for a vacation to our company. I've noticed how tired my members are despite the facade we display for our audience. I'm worried that it will become too late and the public will be outraged by the company's neglect. I sigh, eventually, our voices will be heard before anything serious happens.

"Hopefully we'll be able to go somewhere with no cameras," Lihua said while removing her in-ear pieces, setting her mic down in its case. "I still need to go to Monaco from my bucket list. I need to see Lando at least once in my lifetime."

"Honestly, I doubt that. We've been the hot topics for news articles since last year," Hyejin states, quickly dismissing our hopes of privacy. "Especially since all eyes are on us during promotions."

"If only these paparazzi could leave us alone, we'd get a sense of peace of mind," I interject, my hair stylist quickly adjusts my hair for our photo to be taken soon for our twitter page.

"Maybe one day there will be world peace," Jaemi counters with a shrug. "Should we head out soon to take our photos?"

"Whoever is done touching up can take their solo selfies first," Yui announces, "We do have a dance challenge with a few groups today."

"Alright, I'm taking off first then," Lihua raises from her seat, quickly taking her phone and trophy in hand, with quick snaps on the camera roll with a variety of different angles and poses.

"I'll favorite the ones I like," Jaemi announced as it was her turn to take photos with the trophy.

"Which groups are we doing the dance challenge with again?" I ask, tilting my phone upwards with the trophy by my face. I smiled, quickly giving different types of facial expressions on camera.

"We'll be with Stray Kids and SEVENTEEN today," Hyejin answers before taking photos of herself.

"Ohh, that means Lihua gets to be with her boyfriend~" Jaemi teases as she nudges by her side.

Lihua shakes her head with a smile, "Don't get me started with you now."

Jaemi laughs, her brows raised in response, "I'm just saying, I'm glad that our fandoms were happy for you and Mingyu. Shoot, I was scared when the company officially announced your relationship with Mingyu."

"Oh shush, don't remind me. We were both in a pickle at the time," with a groan, Lihua pinches Jaemi on her side. "Knowing our fandoms, they're very respectful and considerate to us."

About six months ago before our world tour began, Mingyu and Lihua were caught by paparazzi during one of their late-night dates which caused a stir in the industry. Not long after the release of their article scandal, causing distress to some netizens regarding their relationship status, our company made an official announcement confirming their relationship to the world and that they’ve been an item for over a year. Of course, not everyone was pleased to hear the exciting news from the agency, but that didn’t stop the couple from showing their affection for one another, which quickly gained massive support from both fandoms and non-fans. Now, they’re known as the “VISUAL CHEFZ” couple, earning the nickname from their fandoms.

"Alright ladies, let's take the group photo now," Yui interjects their banter, catching our divided attention to our manager. "Go out the halls and take the photos by the stairs. Let's go."

"Yes ma'am," we all say in unison, walking out of our room together.

***

"Thanks for your hard work," the girls, Lihua and Hyejin, bow towards Mingyu and Soonyoung after quickly finishing the dance challenge for each other's promotions with the approval nod of our manager.

“Congratulations again on winning!” Mingyu grinned sheepishly, opening his arms for Lihua, which she returned with a hug. If this man isn’t the most obvious person on earth, he is so love-struck for Lihua. I chuckle at his demeanor towards her. It’s so cute looking at their interactions.

Do you want to know the story of how it all started for the couple? I'd say it was all due to us playing Cupid, by 'us' I mean Soonyoung and I. We became close after doing a couple of dance challenges together, with him quickly adding me to one of his group chats with other dancers.

I was shocked to see a text message from him one day, asking me about Lihua, which I assumed Soonyoung wanted to be more than just friends. Turns out it was actually Mingyu who wanted to get close to her.

From passing each other through the company hallways to doing dance challenges together, Mingyu finally received the courage to ask Lihua for her phone number.

I look towards Soonyoung who also glanced towards me with his eyebrows raised, a playful glint in his eyes. "Oh boy," I muttered under my breath, "Here comes trouble." Soonyoung tilted his head toward the couple who was too busy in their own world to acknowledge his presence as he slowly crept up to them, or rather Mingyu specifically. Soonyoung bumps into Mingyu from behind, sending him to corner Lihua on the wall with his arms trapping her in between. She looks up with a surprised look as Mingyu briefly apologizes to her with a quick kiss on the cheek, quickly chasing down a mischievous hamster down the halls. Ah, I can’t wait to relax and finally be in bed.

***

[SERENITY Dorm]

"Wait a minute," I say, trying to digest the announcement coming from my manager Yui, "So, what you're trying to say is that the reality show I'm selected for is We Got Married."

I stood up from my couch in disbelief, "You're kidding with me right?" I say, my eyes pleading for Yui to say it was a prank. My streak of not getting into a dating scandal quickly crumbles down the drain. Knowing how dispatch and the netizens react, they'll automatically assume one of us is in a relationship or spread rumors like usual. "I can't get out of this can I?"

"Oh honey, I wish it was. The director personally chose you as the next star to go on." Yui states, giving me an apologetic look. "You'll have to sign the contract tomorrow first thing at the company. The director will have a brief meeting with you in the morning." Ah, I wish I was in Monaco instead of being here.

a/n: first chapter is here~ i hope you enjoy and look forward to this smau series 🥹

pls like, comment & reblog ♡

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bean-bean2000 · 1 year ago

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The Maid - Part 3

Pairing: Loki x reader (on going series)

Warnings: Angst, abuse, mental health (depression, mentions of suicidal thoughts). Eventual loki x reader pairing. Reader is a maid.

Please read at your own risk. Your own media consumption is not my responsibility. Please read and review the warnings before proceeding.

Thank you and enjoy!

Part 2 Series masterlist Main Masterlist

You return to the maid's quarters, shaking in disbelief at your interaction with the king.

I just lied to his face. I'm such an idiot. Will he change his mind and punish me? Why was he so nice to me if he sends his guards to beat me almost daily? Why did he look concerned when he saw my injuries? Is this some cruel manipulative twisted joke so he can trap me into trusting him, just so he can rip my trust for him into pieces? To finally break me like the guards say they will?

Your mind is racing; confused, angry, hurt. You say nothing to the other maids when you return to your cot. If they are to know you spoke to the king, rumours will spread.

You decide you can't risk it, you have to request a change of duties.

You rush to the man in charge of separating the help's duties amongst the castle.

You bow your head and curtsy when you approach him "Good evening, sir. I am here to place a request, if possible." you say quietly, staring at the floor.

He says nothing so you decide to continue "I would like to change duties. I believe the king is no longer fond of my work, nor my presence and think a change would be best to appease his anger."

"Very well. I doubt he will notice the change anyway. You are quiet and forgettable. You will be placed on the rotation team. You will work multiple different duties at my discretion. You may leave now." he says to you coldly.

You thank him quckly and return to your chambers.

He's right. He won't even notice I'm gone. This is for the best, I must avoid him at all costs to stay alive. Stay quiet, do as they say and stay small. It's the only way I'll survive.

Over the next two weeks you successfully avoid all contact with the king. You're continuously rotating duties from maid, to kitchen staff, to laundry and you're body is aching from the physical exertion. The abuse from the guards subdued but did not stop from the Snake. He would search for you exclusively and insist it was at kings personal request. He did everything he could to try to break you, but you repeated the same words "Never". Sometimes you would fight back and other times you would simply take it so it could be over with faster, but one thing you made sure of is that he never touched you. You would go feral at the mention of it.

Yesterday, the Snake went too far and tried holding you down to 'teach you a lesson', you screamed and swung your hands as you scratched his face from his eyebrow to his lip so deeply he was bleeding profusely all over his bedroom floor. You took your upper hand to your advantage and threatened him " I can take your abuse, you will not break me and I will die before I let you touch me. Next time, I will scratch your eyes out." you hissed at him. He screamed for the other guards as he swung at you but you side stepped and tried running out but was caught by the other guards.

"Now, you will see what the king truly thinks of you once he discovers what you've done, witch. He will not be as merciful as I was. Bring her to the dungeons." he spits at you as you're dragged away.

You're thrown to the damp stone floor covered in hay, scratching your palms and knees as you roll on the floor.

"This is where you belong, witch." One of them says as the door locks behind you.

You hear their laughter fade as they walk away. The cell is disgustingly dirty, there is only a small space with bars that acts as a window. Besides the moonlight, you're left in complete darkness, the only sound to occupy your mind is the squeaks of the mice running around. You bring your knees to your chest and begin crying "What have I done? Why didn't I just let him do what he wanted? I wouldn't be here... At least I would have a chance at life... now I'm as good as dead" you cry to yourself.

The next day you're woken abruptly and dragged outside. Your hand are tied to a post and they rip open the back of your shirt.

Your heart races as you realize what is happening. You hear the Snake laugh and then the searing pain of the whip across your back.

You scream out in pain and dig your nails into the post to ground yourself.

"So the whore can scream afterall. Let's see how loud she can be. You've been holding out on me." the Snake mocks you.

This continued 10 times. For everyday the nurse said he would need to heal from the wound you created in his eye.

They drag you away and throw you back onto the dungeon floor. Bleeding profusely from your back, unable to move from the pain, you curly yourself into a ball and beg for death to take you.

You awake to a nurse tending to your back. You both stay quiet as she puts the familiar balm to your back and wraps your wounds to prevent infection.

Two days pass, no guards have come to bring you food or water. You're famished and parched. Your back is in continuous searing pain, your breathing has become more shallow every day. You're in such pain, you try to force yourself to sleep to avoid the pain. Eventually, you pass out. You're awakened by the sound of a crow squawking and the sun shining on you.

You look up and see the bird standing at the makeshift window, in between the bars. It crows a few times before turning around and flying away.

Even the birds don't want to be near me.

You hear heavy footsteps approach your cell when the Snake opens the door "Learned you lesson yet, witch? Get up, you reek. Bathe and get ready for work tomorrow. Maybe this will make you think twice before fighting me." he sneers at you.

You struggle to get up so he grabs you by the arm and yanks you to your feet making you shriek in pain from the deep cuts in your back.

"Shut up, harlot. Get out of my face." he spits at you.

You slowly walk out of the dungeons and back to the maids quarters. You're so weak, you collapse on your cot and pass out when you arrive.

🧹🧹🧹

You awoke before dawn, bathing to ease the pain. The nurse helps apply the balm to your back and wrap the wounds once more. You look at yourself in the mirror. Your left eye is severely bruised, you look exhausted and in pain.

Today you're placed on kitchen duty. You're slowly walking to the kitchen, when you see a crow fly overhead and land nearby on a statue.

A crow, again? ... Is it staring at me?

You shake your head in dismissal and you near the kitchen. You were to prep everything for the breakfast run before the cooks arrived.

You were deep in thought and humming to yourself while cutting vegetables and boiling some water to make yourself a coffee that you didn't notice somebody walk in behind you.

"Where have you been?" a familiar voice cuts through the silence. You yelp in surprise and cut your finger with the knife. You hiss in pain and rush to place a towel over it to stop the bleeding.

"Sorry darling, l keep frightening you." He approaches you but you back up in fear, your back hitting the kitchen counter. You groan out loud at the pain from your back hitting the counter. He stops and looks at you with hurt and confusion.

You keep your down "It's okay your highness. I'm fine." you say quietly.

He sighs "I've been looking for you."

Your eyes widen at that statement. Oh my god, he's going to kill me, just like the Snake said he would.

"Why were you replaced as my maid? I made no such request. I was very content with your work. Are you avoiding your king?" he presses on.

"Your highness, please. I will do as he says. I will not fight him next time. I beg you to please forgive me and spare my life. I was stupid, it was done in fear. I will never do it again!" you beg, your eyes brimming with tears. You're shaking, straining to breathe properly with the pain coursing through your entire body.

"What none sense do you speak of? Where were you?." he asks again, more urgently. It sounded more like a command than a question.

You bite your lip hard, making it bleed.

"My king...I don't... you ordered the guards..." you're unable to form a sentence through the fear shaking through you.

His eyes narrow and he inspects you and tries to make sense of the words you're hiccuping out.

"Who did I order to do what?" he asks you, his voice rising with anger.

I can't tell him. This is a trick. It was his orders. He knows, he wants to see if I will question his orders.

You take in a deep breath and steady yourself, stopping the tears from falling down your face.

If I avoid his question about the guards, I won't be lying to him.

"I requested a change of duties, your highness." you blurt out.

He looks taken aback "Why? Did I make you uncomfortable? Do you fear me?"

You're confused by his line of questions "No, your highness... I -"

"You're lying. I will give you one last chance." he says sternly.

You swallow thickly, your anger and frustration from the past months of mistreatment bubbles up inside. A sudden burst of confidence, you look up at stare at him. You notice his shock when he sees the damage to your face.

"No, your highness you did not make me uncomfortable. I have received your messages daily from the guards, and the whipping you ordered I received. I have heard the rumours and they ring true. You cannot blame me for fearing you."

"Whipping? Rumours? What -" Loki begins but is interrupted by the cooks entering the kitchen to start the day. His eyes fall to the bandages he can see at the bottom of your shirt, wrapping up and around your back. You see his eyes darken and his fists clench at his sides.

They freeze when they see the king speaking to you.

"Sorry your highness, we will -" one of the cooks begins.

"No. I will be taking my leave. There is something I must tend to."

He quickly exits the kitchen and the cooks stare at you in confusion. You dismiss their looks and return to your duties.

🧹🧹🧹

Part 4

I hope you enjoyed this chapter. Feedback is always welcome. Feel free to send me suggestions for scenes/drabbles that I could add into the stroy :)

Let me know if you would like to be added to the tag list!

@gruftiela

@elegantcheesecakecrown

@chxco-hyujin

@cheshire-salvatore-mikaelson

@i-am-amora-the-enchantress

#fanfic #marvel #bucky barnes #captain america #bucky x reader #natasha romanoff #steve rogers #steve x reader #tony stark #tony x reader #king loki #loki x reader #loki laufeyson #loki #thor x reader #thor #thor odinson

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coldresolve · 9 months ago

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tbh i didnt mean “not wanting to be criticized” i meant “not wanting to search up things and dive into stuff”. Rolling your head on the keyboard and relaxing while creating something is not the same by any means. I was also thinking more of visual art when i wrote that, since “art” is usually used in that sense these days. I do write and i do “research” (not like actual research articles tho) but i couldnt care less about political or any “other” interpretations. I know ur on the mindset of “all art is political” but nah. I just like creating. I dont even ever look ar politics. No news, no social media, nothing, i dont care, i dont interact, i dont listen. Not something that i care about. And im not the only one. And thats also fine. Art and creativity and the act of creation means different things to different people and noone can make a blanket statement with saying “its always political” or “it always has a »deeper« meaning”.

I also dont think “no deeper meaning” means its “shallow” or “lacks depth” (eventho this sounds contradictory), it just means that what might mean something to the artist, doesn’t necessarily mean anything for others and interpretating it in all kinds of ways is the viewers own opinions (also fine, but my point stays that it wasnt “meant” to be interpreted in any way other than how the artist meant it). Like idk how to explain this but just because you (or anyone) thinks about art in such a “deep” and “layered” way its not always like that. Not by far.

Woodworking is art. Pottery is art. Even architecture is art. All those art forms usually dont have any “statement”, or if they do, its not as common. Its relaxing and soothing to just… create. And im not saying “oh just start woodworking without any research”, that would most likely be a safety hazard. What im saying is not knowing about all these political bulshits and not CARING about them either doesnt make the art less valid?

I used these examples because writing and drawing is usually more “political” for a lot of people (including you I know) but for many people its just the same as a piece of pottery or wood statue they work on to relieve stress. And the way you talk about art/writing makes it seem like those people are “less than”. Because they dont do research, because they dont use themes or whatever all those things. No, you dont have to do all those if you just wanna create. Its gatekeepy af.

And tbf at least they are creating it themselves, even if it doesnt fit your standards. At least they arent using some ai. In these times we need to encourage people to create more than ever instead of gatekeeping art and writing and talking down to people who arent as sophisticated as you are.

Because your writing and art is insane but man that shits stressfull. I just want to relax and turn my brain off and create some art to soothe my nerves… not all this political implications lol

My opinion and i know you disagree but anyways. You said you like “criticism” so thougth i would share my thougths too.

hope you dont mind if i break it up by point. below the cut cause youve said a lot and i say a lot, ayy

you wanna have mindless fun and dont care if it comes at the cost of spreading harmful misinfo, bigotry or stereotypes, i got it. i read you loud and clear. im also criticizing you for it, which according to this, you shouldn't have a problem with

so when you said in the last ask that you don't care about 'pushing bad stereotypes', you meant visually...? are you drawing racist charicatures or sth lmao

you're right, i do think all art is political, but politics isnt just men in suits arguing about taxes yknow. a political ideology is a prescriptive worldview, that's it. broadly speaking, it's about how you see the relationship between the past/present/future, resources and power, who has them and who don't, and does that align with our ethics, etc. why things are the way they are and how they ought (/not) to be. how you see the world, other people and yourself necessarily shows up in self-expression, that is what self-expression is. it's inherent to art, and you can't get away from this by simply going 'not true' - what you're telling me here is just that you've decided you personally don't care. which is your right i suppose

just like i have a right to be able to think of this 'heres all the ways i'm extremely apolitical' section as you just declaring a privelege. lots of people - especially this site's userbase - don't get the luxury of being able to look away, because their existence itself is highly politisized. either you pay attention or they start sending you and your friends to camps, babey. deciding to be apolitical is a Very political act

you're not sticking fully to topic here. i never talked about depth, i talked about engaging with art uncritically, which are two different things. i do hold the former as an opinion but this is already long, send a different ask if you want me to get into it lol its mostly just me being a judgy bitch abt popular culture

to the relevant stuff, im just gonna reiterate that the themes you put in your work exist whether you want them to or not. death of the author, that whole thing. if you portray poverty in a way that suggests poor people are just being lazy, or that black people are violent, or that gay people are predatory, if you essentialize these traits in any given work, that is the statement that depiction makes, regardless of whether the artist actually believes it's true or not. that's just how biases work in fiction. it's not gonna stop existing because you stop paying attention to it.

funny you should mention woodworking - hi, im a cabinetmaker and i love talking about my craft. cool facts: scandinavian woodworking tends to use sustainable/local wood, minimalistic and semi-rustic designs with a focus on elegance and simplicity, and mostly uses natural finishes. american wwoodworking is a bit flamboyant and grand, frequently uses exotic woods for details, bulkier designs, with a focus on sturdiness and practicalty, and mostly uses glossy/shiny finishes. japanese woodworking is all about precision, subtlety and a world-famous tradition of the craft spanning back millenia, using wood from species that allow for chisel work with a precision that's down to the width of a human hair, occasionally stained with some nice colors (asia generally loves wood stain). ikea's woodworking uses cheap materials and cost-effective factory production, focuses on the mass marketability of their furniture, and has a legal team to deal with worker's rights abuses and forced labor cases. if you can read nothing about priorities and worldview into any of this, i don't know what to tell you. alas its true. your chair is indeed political

this doesn't mean you can't also use any chair to simply sit down in. these two aren't mutually exclusive.

pottery is the same. architecture is the same. in fact, tell any former soviet country that there's no politics in architecture lol they'll look at you weird

never said your art isn't valid or whatever, idek what that means in this context. i just said i can still criticize your racist charicatures regardless of how much mindless fun you had making them lol

(in case its not obvious i dont think youre making racist charicatures or all that shit, im going to the extremes to illustrate a point ykwim. im guessing you'd be fine with me critizising racism in fiction - in fact i don't actually believe you'd disagree with any of the things i've said if i'd framed it in terms of racism, or at least i hope not lol i dont know how far your take goes. im challenging a double standard ig)

"because they don't use themes" mhm, youre one of the ppl who dont know what a theme is, which ig is pretty valuable for context. art necessitates making decisions about what you portray and how you portray it. those decisions say something about your thought process, which your audience is able to draw conclusions about, or at least interpret from. art is a form of communication. if you create art, you are communicating. it means something. there is a message, usually more than one. that's what themes are. can be as benign as "damn hangovers kinda suck" or some grand statement about the nature of being human, doesn't matter. both of those things are themes

i don't think any person is "less than", i'm criticizing people's approach to art. person =/= person's approach to art. remember in my original post when i said that criticism is not the same as personal attacks? or cultural elitism?

im not particularly sophisticated, i just like abstraction cause im mentally ill lmfao. and i do want to encourage people to make art. i just also hate consumerist brainrot, so

its not that i cant relate to wanting to turn your brain off sometimes and just watch some sloppy horror movie or whatever, i do that too. but i also recognize that said sloppy horror movie can be criticized in seventy thousand different ways, and at least being aware of that instead of mindlessly consuming probably leads to a more wholistic appreciation of the art you create and engage with.

this is sliding into opinion territory like the sidenote in my last answer, so beware, but. if 'mindless fun' is the only way you engage with art, you're missing out, i'm sorry, Facts*. you're treating art like content to be consumed to distract you from the real world, not as something thats supposed to inspire or motivate or make you think about/understand things. it's reductive of what art has the potential to do, the ways it can help you grow. it takes effort to change your approach and i get that, but it gets easier once you've done it enough, and it is very worthwhile imo. just sayin'. im genuinely being an optimist about art here

*= opinion lol. but its a strong opinion which is basically the same as a fact**

**= irony

anyway i genuinely enjoy having these sorts of conversations just for the record. am able to disagree with someone without assuming they're a bad person or whatever. i understand if youre not interested in talking continuing but youve been fairly respectful or whatever so thats nice, love and peace✌️

#asks #pls tumblr dont fuck up my formatting by moving the readmore somewhere dumb for no reasonnnnnn

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panzerkatzee · 1 year ago

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NaNoWriMo Journal Day VIII

Good morning folks!

I just slid past creative burn out, struggling like hell to write yesterday… still managed enough words… yet, I was feeling aweful.. Sooo I did what I learned in therapy.. and had some social interaction, via the phone, while going on a very nice long walk and doing some grocery shopping.

I should probably also clean my room, but I'll get to that aaafter writing for the day~

First up.. my plan for the day… is write. Nothing fancy.. If I get stuck, I will do some fancy sorting stuff on Obsidian, in hopse to make editing easier on me later, by putting all chapters into single files and splitting them up in scenes already. Obsidian has the neat function to fold up all the text beneath a headline, so that will break it down into even more manageable pieces. Last time, the sheer volume of what I had written and what had to be edited, overwhelmed me completely.. soo lets hope this new method works.

Ahh also a nice side effect of going on the walk, is that I woke up suuuper early today and I hope, I can turn this into my new wake up time, despite liking the night, it gives me more time to enjoy the light, which is quite the challenge for me in fall anyway…

Sooo.. Song of the Day: Serj Tankian - Borders are

youtube

Why is it on my Playlist? "Fear is the cause of separation"

Serj Tankian, ex-singer (or again singer) of the Armenian/American Metalband System of a Down, uses his voice as a solo-artist, to make political statements, questioning war, the enviromental crisis, capitalism and… nationalism.

The last, comes to bear in the song I talk about today, which beside one other, is on this playlist. It's about the artificial seperation of the world. And its complimented, by a very simple yet poetic video, showing a map of the world, every country painted a different shade, seperated by black lines, signfying borders between countries. Over the course of the song, the black lines fly up towards the viewer and disappear. I love this, because the different hues remain. Which I choose to interpret as an abolishing of the actual borders, while keeping our cultural heritage. Embracing unification without sacrificing what makes a culture or nation unique.

This… is not possible, as long as people are afraid. I came to this conclusion in parts thanks to Tankians song.. and in parts through learning about different cultures, their history. Immersing myself into it, helped me to concieve how a culture or a nation has become the way it is today. And this freed me of a lot of fear and made me realise… we are all humans. Which.. sounds like a no-brainer at first… but its something, I struggled with a lot and didn't really recognise until the fear was gone.

For example: When I moved to a bigger city with a high count of people who belong to the diaspora of muslim countries, my dad told me: "Be careful, daughter, don't smart mouth them, the men will have no qualms punching you in the face or stab you and leave you for dead." Only after actually talking to people from the cultures, getting to know them, I realised it to be utter bullshit. And I also realised, my Dad didn't say this, because he wants to be a racist… or is a bad person. No he was afraid.. Because all you hear in media is how a "Muslim immigrant stabbed his sister because she was in a relationship to a German man" or "Stabbing in XYZ might me a terrorist attack" "Immigrants take your doctors appointments" Sooo much the readily accessible information for the average German in form of news and media, usually only talks about the shitty stuff… because DUH… only the negative stuff actually sells.

Soo yeah.. It still might seem like fiction at this point… but that's why I write. I hope the people, who will read my books in the future, might agree with me on that, try to learn from it and maybe attempt to challenge their own fears about other cultures. Which is what this song is about… and also it wildly anti capitalist… but thats something for another day.

In the end, go check out Serj Tankian, he's amazing and deserves more ppl, listening to and understanding his music!

As this venture into music/politics/philosophy, was quite the long write - I excluded like at least a thousand words and saved them for later-, I will skip the daily challenge today and get into writing.

Okay… I started to procastinate at 10:20.. it's 11:00 now… lets eat something and stop procastination~

Sooo a little over two hours later, I am done for the day.. energy waning already… well it has a few reasons, one being my mother wanting to meet up in an hour or so, which means, I have a minor deadline, that tells me, I have to stop soon.

Also.. I am not really feeling it right now… therefore, I am going to do some selfcare and then get started on the whole ordering of chapters thing :D And after meeting my mum... its room cleaning time... like the saying goes... tidy home tidy mind.. or what ever :D

Never cared for these pithy wisdoms.. but I came to realise, cleaning up, whilst a hated task, is actually beneficial for my well-being, despite all within me recoiling at the prospect of having to clean anything..

I end the writing day for now at 1545 words… which is still above the word goal, which by now has dropped to under 1000 per day. Whoop!

#Youtube

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llycaons · 2 years ago

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ep19 (part 1) : you know it's bad when you see a torture scene and you're like 'oh yeah this is the least painful thing to happen to him in three episodes and it'll only get worse after this'

on my first watch I remember being like 'oh god she looks like shit', honestly he's a little tired looking and he's got a far-away look in his eyes that points to some extreme inner distress or distracting pain and he coughs very weakly but. yeah no he looks pretty bad

what we all assumed was hunger but was. you know

unintentionally (?) funniest shots in the episode. wzl might actually know about wwx's core at this point - I assume he can sense them. I can think of no other reason for him to look at his hand like that

scream. with context...well we know why. and wwx likely hasn't slept either

of all the additions to the story cql made, this is by far one of the most powerful and memorable. it's such a beautiful scene and imo it points to what jc deep down wanted more than anything. happy family. everyone getting along. his some safe. wwx is there, and I know there's a lot of debate over whether jc sees his as a brother but it's hard to argue he didn't see him as par of that family in some way, regardless of how he treated him

this scene wasn't in the novel unless im really misremembering, but it's much easier to believe that jc viewed wwx differently there compared to here

his mother welcoming him! smiling! being kind and affectionate to his siblings!

his father interacting with him willingly! playing with him! believing in him! such simple things, and so out of reach for jc, once hard to imagine him attaining and now impossible

he knows to thank bssr but I don't think he'll ever thank wwx :/

RUDE BITCH

he's tired so I can forgive that his comeback to 'you're a dog' is 'NO YOU'

why are you like this. maniac

here he is! wwx is defined by his low birth status and his unstable relationship with the aristocracy. they can cast him out at any time, and do so once it's clear he will act against them. there is treatment and slander he endures that a highborn individual would never face even if they did the exact same things that he did. but wwx is scrappy. he uses everything he has to his advantage. he even weaponizes his lack of privilege.

wjl are you stupid. like. love this woman, she's very funny, but seriously. you work with cultivators

oof oof ouch. this is a rough scene and it's the least bad thing to happen to wwx from his enemies (or allies) in a while. after watching his home be destroyed, seeing myu blame him for everything then died with jfm, LP overtaken and disrespected, needing to get jc back, staying awake for days researching, then lying awake for two days and a night undergoing surgery, and AFTER this getting thrown into a pit of corpses where you're expected to lose your soul to endless torment....well. this is bad but relatively bearable

anyway ohh yin iron is reacting to his blood

I love when side characters deliver exposition loudly and obviously. very convenient for our protags

JC SAW THEM. SCREAM. I don't think he could have done anything esp since he doesn't have his sword but he SAW them. isn't that wild

if he was just a few hours earlier...well, wwx would still die, wouldn't he? being thrown into the burial mounds was horrifically traumatizing but it did facilitate his career in necromancy and he wouldn't have been resurrected without his own writings on the topic. and this is a very shitty situation for him to imagine an plot divergence

that being said this is one of the most horrific things that can happen to a person in like. any piece of media. this man has suffered so much bizarre and specific trauma

DON'T TOUCH HIM

DON'T CALL HIM THAT

SCREAM

shut up wen chao you're not the one binding him there

the smoke catching him, making his descent somewhat gentler. it can sense what's happening

in the book I think it's canon that he breaks several bones in the fall. or maybe that was in a fanfic I read. I like it more when it breaks his bones honestly bc it adds to the rawness and realism of the scene tho I am not complaining cql wwx has it a little better

and if that's not enough, wen ning has also been tortured! and wq in imprisoned!

#cql re-rewatch

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theothin · 1 year ago

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And I’d expect people who have followed my blog to understand my POV on art more since I talk about it quite regularly and yet here we are!

I don't think I've ever followed your blog. I remember interacting positively with you in the past, but I don't follow many people.

-I- don’t just replicate and vomit it back up. And I do art that is freakin derivative as HELL and can STILL explain all sorts of symbolism and choices made to create it the way it was created. assuming that’s “all” artist do that is not only disrespectful to artist but to art as a whole. If some artist do nothing but replicate…that’s on them, but with respect to the artist of that comic, if all they are bringing to their art is copying maybe they SHOULD be navel gazing about what they bring that an AI doesn’t. Mosy artist stop being replicate machines once they learn the technical skills and start using then to SAY something.

I didn't say anything about artists being replication machines who don't have distinct symbolism and choices they can explain. My point is that beneath those choices, there's so much more you're taking for granted. Can you name every piece of art that might have had the tiniest subconscious influence on your choices of symbolism, or on developing your understanding of art to think to use symbolism the way you do in the first place?

When I write a scene, my idea of what that scene might consist of is shaped by any number of my previous experiences with media, to teach me about elements a scene can have and how they can impact it. When I write a sentence - even one outside of a story, like this one - I come up with a concept for what the sentence is meant to accomplish, and rely on subconscious parts of my brain to fill in gaps as needed, extrapolating from its existing information to come up with words likely to meet the criteria. That is exactly the same as the process of prompting an AI.

Does your art not SAY something? Are you not DOING something with all those references and skills? Why do you think all art is summed up only by the technical skills used to create it?

In order: of course it does, of course I am, and I don't think any such thing. I'm not sure what prompted any of these questions, but they seem to be a response to a thing I didn't say.

UBI is great, AI is effecting my rent now. I’m not living in a perfected future, I’m living here and now. How does UBI fix the issue happening currently? would YOU like to call my mortgage company and explain I won’t be paying my bills because UBI is the most ethical system? i’ll DM you their number, I’m sure they’ll take philosophical possibilities for my rent payment.

My condolences.

Also, gimme a break about “taking it personal” when you’re talking about my profession AND passion. This isn’t theoretical, you are talking about ME when you talk about artist and AI art. i’m sorry your uncomfortable that you were talking down about a skill and profession and didn’t expect someone from that profession to react. But that’s what happens when you put out negative opinions publicly. The weird “Oh you’re getting too personal~” tactic isn’t going to work cause yeah ofc this is personal. I am very passionate about art and paying my bills.

If this topic stresses you out that much, I would not recommend reading my posts on the matter. Have you considered blacklisting relevant tags?

Everyone uses or is gonna use AI. It’s inevitable. It sucks. You won’t have much of a choice anyway. Much like fast fashion. But just admit you want the pretty pictures and don’t want to pay to commission them and/or work to learn how to make them yourself.

I want to use AI to more conveniently complete projects that I probably could not feasibly bring into reality any other way. I have no problem acknowledging this. But I was advocating for AI art well before I became interested in actually using it myself, not for that reason at all.

@sailor-kaiju if you're that interested in having this argument, fine, let's go.

You dismiss the comic I brought up and its subsequent discussion as meaningless insecurities, but they are nothing of the sort. The artist is absolutely correct - not just about his own art, but about how art works in general. Your art has just as much reason to be considered "stealing" from whatever you take inspiration from, as does my writing. Recognizing that fact is something all artists should do, and I see plenty who do so. Your lack of that self-awareness does not make you any better than those of us who have it.

Meanwhile, I'm surprised you see the idea of UBI as unrealistic Marxism. It's a lofty goal, but trying to put a stop to the use of an effective piece of technology is even less practical. I've been saying for years that it's the real answer to concerns around automation, as have many others - starting long before generative AI got as big as it is now.

If you're not convinced by those arguments, good news - I have plenty more of them! Multiple tags' worth, even. It's a common topic on this blog, one where I've said and shared all sorts of things I don't feel the need to reiterate. I'd expect people who've been following me for a while to be familiar with them by now, unless they're avoiding engaging with the topics entirely.

Whatever is the case, I would recommend against perceiving someone posting things on their own blog as them coming into your house and spitting in your face. Doesn't seem like a healthy perspective.

#gen ai #ai art #sailor-kaiju

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mango-dolphin · 3 years ago

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what are your headcanons about the heroes :0? Ive asked this question to the other shield hero blogs and now its Your turn ):) normally i would ask for each separately but why do that when i can ask for all at once XD!!

ADMITTEDLY this is a broad enough question as to where i could be making headcanons about Any Such Thing !! i don't have too many headcanons yet but i can make shit up as i go honestly. i like questions that ask me somethin a lil more specific bUT ALSO I LOVE HAVING FREE RANGE AND PERMISSION TO GO APESHIT SO LIKE. IT DOESN'T EVEN MATTER

hm. hmm. hmmmmmmmmmm. i'll just write whatever comes to my head right now!

General Headcanons

i'd like to think that each cardinal hero had a piece of media in their original world that resembled at least one of the other cardinal hero's lives:

Naofumi had this sleeper hit visual novel he introduced to his little brother as a way to get him into the medium: it presented itself as this dating simulator game about this university student and his complicated love life. As the game progresses and depending on the routes, it's slowly revealed that there is something amiss regarding the protagonist's life and how he interacts with the company he keeps. The game progresses into a psychological horror/thriller in some aspects—not really like Doki Doki Literature Club but y'know there was something going on there. Naofumi offhandedly mentioned that the game had a secret true ending that was overwhelmingly gay and his little brother called his bluff. The secret gay ending is real.

Itsuki seems like the type to strongly prefer escapist media, but I'd like to think an acquaintance at his private school happened to suggest a short and sweet manga to him that she thought he might find interesting. He decided to read it on a whim one day and was disgruntled to learn it was a Normie-verse (media where no one has powers) slice-of-life thing, but he had nothing better to do (had to wait for something) so he tried to finish it anyways. It was about this middle school prep student breaking down under the pressure that his parents were placing on him to succeed, trying desperately to find an outlet. In the midst of it all, his "slacker" older brother, who wasn't doing so hot in college at the time, took it upon himself to try and reconnect with his little brother and the two eventually start bonding over otaku culture. It was an incredibly heart-warming read but also it made Itsuki cry a little bit because he was very jealous of the main character. He wants an older brother like that so bad. he refuses to admit he liked the manga no matter what the girl who lent it says

Ren... I don't really have an elaborate one for him, unfortunately. The Cardinal Hero whose media he got would be Itsuki's by process of elimination, however! It'd probably be (by his world's standards) an older video game or anime of some kind, probably kind of BNHA-esque with those strong Golden Age comics inspirations. Maaaaybe it could've been something ongoing but got canceled? So Ren never learned how it was supposed to end.

Motoyasu seems like the type who doesn't always keep up with most popular media, or at the very least would hear about it from osmosis. If not that, he's probably right on top of popular things. Probably a mix of both? Incredibly on the pulse for some things, incredibly clueless on others, and it's random what he'll know and what he won't. He'd probably mostly get onto some stuff through his friends—probably was binging anime w/one of his best guy friends one night and what was on was this movie about a futuristic Japan. In particular, it was a split story between a criminal down on their luck but sank deeper into the underworld, as well as a reclusive high school student trying to get by. It wasn't that extreme of a movie, but for whatever reason the bloodier parts with the high schooler saving his friend perturbed Motoyasu a lot, to the point of walking out for a bit. His female friends at the time made fun of him for getting so squicked out at the movie.

i kiiiinda like the idea of the younger two of the cardinal heroes paralleling/being foils to the older two. Ren and Naofumi seem to have kinda similar outlooks (at least, the roots of them) as well as appearances; same with Itsuki and Motoyasu. they both even have the same age gap by year (naofumi & motoyasu are 4 years older than ren & itsuki respectively). There are lessons Ren & Itsuki can take from their older counterparts—both things they should avoid (naofumi's wrath and unwillingness to speak up, motoyasu's naivete and ignorance to the point of delusion) as well as things they can take with them (naofumi's proactive nature, tendency towards learning skills & self-improvement, and keeping and listening to good people around him; motoyasu's warm & friendly nature as well as his loyalty + mindedness towards the people immediately around him, rather than focusing on how he himself looks—listen he's being manipulated that doesn't excuse his idiocy and terrible judgement. but he does care about people and their PERSONAL LIVES in his own way, rather than itsuki doing good things because they're "morally just")

the cardinal heroes probably met up a lot outside of Naofumi (because, y'know, he was made a pariah), so they probably talked a bit more about stuff and got to know each other a teensy bit better. I'd like to think—and these would be conversations that happen much later, like brink of or after the Spirit Tortoise arc—the three of them all realized they all died, though they probably would question if Naofumi had died at all (as he seemed the most insistent on getting home). Ren also toyed with the idea that perhaps Naofumi didn't remember his death, so he perhaps still believed he had somewhere to go back to.

Itsuki mentioned his death first and regretted it immediately (ren and motoyasu lost it at the idea that itsuki got isekai'd the old-fashioned way). In comparison, Ren was very reluctant to mention the details of his own death, so he more or less set the stage and left it to interpretation. (Itsuki got frustrated that Ren appeared to have gone out like a hero and Ren didn't want to say anything.) Motoyasu likely lied about the exact details of his death and talked about the last few days he remembered, leading the other two to extrapolate that he got killed because of his womanizing. He'd later go on to admit that he didn't actually remember how exactly he died, but what he does remember is something he'd rather not think about.

(i also headcanon that they have scars from their deaths lol. ren's got that big stab/slice scar; motoyasu has several cuts and perforations throughout his stomach and abdomen, as well as stray stab marks on his chest; itsuki likely has some faint but permanent bruising on his backside & head)

Naofumi hears that the other three died and he'd be like What? I was kidnapped by a book. What???

Ren

gay, open about it; i'd like to think his Japan had progressed just as much in societal matters as it has technological. Japan doesn't have transphobia & homophobia the same way America (my country) does, so I'm not entirely sure how things over there would change, but nowadays from what I understand Japan is a lot more casual about people being gay than Americans are. SO there'd hopefully be far less judgement and expectation on a gay high schooler in Ren's Japan, for instance? so he can just be open and it wouldn't be a big deal.

(i also sincerely hope that Ren's Japan would have figured SOMETHING out for its atrocious bullying problem, but sadly i do think that it's wholly possible that it's still an issue. maybe not as bad as it is right now, but frankly almost anything would be an improvement considering how fucked up bullying can get over there. i can see ren's behavior stemming from even mild bullying but it's possible that he's Just Like That™.)

his best friend, the one that he saved and the one i'm assuming he played video games with? i think it'd be interesting if they were actually dating :3 but also my hc of "ren being openly gay" and "ren dating his best friend" might not necessarily line up. being open isn't a one-and-done thing, however, so it could more be a thing that ren was open back in his world (because he didn't have to hide), but ren probably knew enough about the rest of the world/medieval media to be like "maybe i should wait and see how people react to this kind of stuff <:|"

so ren probably has just never brought up his sexuality to anyone in this world. if he got the signal that it was safe to talk about it, he probably forgot that being temporarily closeted was a problem and would probably go around assuming that people knew he was gay, because that's his default—

i'd like to think that ren & his [boy]friend always wanted to move somewhere more natural and grassy—just somewhere with a lot of natural beauty. i know i said in my last post or so that he'd have the least amount of knowledge of the natural world, but i don't think that'd mean he wouldn't be interested in knowing more about it. maybe he and his friend would stay up some nights after some grinding sessions and just. talk about the future. moving to somewhere in the japanese countryside, or maybe somewhere untouched in europe.

he probably thinks about that sometimes while traveling melromarc.

i think this guy likes white chocolate. iunno.

listen. i try not to focus too hard on sexuality/romanticism headcanons because i think it's important to like. characterize folks outside of their romantic/sexual relationships. ships are really fun but also i wanna know about the Character Themself.

but sometimes it's very much a case of "i think their sexuality would inform their behavior and vice versa," even if the character themself sees their sexuality as a footnote. imo, ren just happens to be gay, sees himself as someone that happens to be gay, but his relationships and the people he knows/loves very much inform who he is. especially because he doesn't seem like the type of person to go out of his way to establish relationships of any kind.

so like. if he has a boyfriend, that's a big thing. and having a boyfriend in practice isn't interchangeable with having a girlfriend—especially if you're the same gender as your partner(s). so me headcanoning him being gay is like. he cares about someone deeply, and that someone is a guy, and he would not love him as much if he were a girl. the relationship would fundamentally be different then. Gayboy.

Naofumi

i'd like to think he was still a chill older brother sort of guy before getting summoned. after breaking down his little brother's walls their relationship probably got real close again. i could see naofumi teasing him a lot and him being teased by his brother a lot

i've mentioned it before but i think naofumi would read a lot of doujinshi. i don't mean like the Explicit Stuff but like. i think he'd be our equivalent of scrolling through AO3 and reading literally whatever caught his eye, or even whatever popped up (because he's bored). he'd be the sort of person who'd read fanfic/doujinshi of media he hasn't even read before. i think he'd just be a voracious reader in general

this is ALSO scattered about my posts & tags but i think Naofumi is some flavor of asexual and some flavor of biromantic / greyromantic. i'm going to make this even funnier and say that he still reads explicit shit anyways. he's like "ok nice." doesn't even blink. it's a story what does he have to say except they're fucking.

FORGOT TO MENTION i don't think he'd use labels either. if someone asked his orientation i think he'd be like "eh. i don't really care"

i don't think he's really dated anyone, at least for very long. he does experience some aesthetic attraction but that's about it. and even then it's like "oh, they look nice. aight" and he forgets about it. apparently he describes how good motoyasu looks in the LN a lot though so maybe he's more into aesthetics than i thought. i can definitely see it

i'd like to think Naofumi started a little garden in Luroluna alongside all the fields that exist. there's probably a little section where he does some funky plant experiments (mostly trying to make more resilient and/or delicious food) and tries to branch (ha) his skill tree out, and there could be a larger part where he puts some of his more successful plants out and lets the public do what they wish with them. There's probably a tinier section where he made some fucked up little guys but since they weren't malignant plants and/or not difficult to manage, he kept them around. People are allowed to experiment with those fuck-ups as well as long as they're responsible.

i'd like to think he fell asleep in chicken coops several times. mostly as a kid but also probably once or twice in luroluna as well. filo probably tries to snuggle up with him in there also and it suffocates him--

(i think about him being an animal friend so often you guys)

admittedly i think Naofumi's always been kind of an introvert, even before getting summoned. he seems like the type of person who prefers to do his own thing, but very much appreciates company anyways. he does have some pretty good leadership skills (apparently he ran a guild in a video game back home) so i don't think he exceptionally dislikes people on average, and in fact can get along VERY very well with folks—he just values his personal space is all

Motoyasu (discussion of abuse below)

my friend. my dear friend motoyasu. i like him a lot (this is not a headcanon i just wanted to say that i like him)

i think this man has trauma. i think this man has illnesses. i think there's a lot going on with him and i'm kind of obsessed. i'm reluctant to go in depth with what i think is going on w/him because i fear how my headcanons/readings might be taken on this character, especially as he's the least popular of the cardinal heroes. (at least, from what i could observe on tumblr FJKNSEFJKENS maybe he's more well-liked elsewhere!) anywho, i tried explaining a teensy bit of what i felt anyways, so hopefully what i intended to explain came across properly?

however i don't think his naivete (particularly his gullibility towards women) is... natural? as in, i don't think it's just something he was born with or anything. i think it had to have come from somewhere, and it's likely that it's a behavior he learned from previous relationships. he doesn't have a hero complex to the extent itsuki does, but it's clear that he views himself as someone who has to take on the burden of saving the women around him. which is like, any dude can have that sort of savior complex i guess, and it can be Incredibly Annoying™ if not other things.

but i'm combining this w/the fact that he'll believe the closest woman to him no questions asked is like... that is dangerously self-destructive behavior. this dude can have a spine so the fact that he'd let someone take advantage of him that easily, to the point where he essentially slots into that role (he believed Myne's false testimony first word no questions no doubts and just let her pull him around every which way)... you can't convince me that motoyasu hasn't been abused by a partner (specifically a girlfriend) before, if not several. i'm sorry you just can't

combine that with what we apparently learn from his backstory in the spin-off series and it's like. Dear god. Dear god if he's had to deal with female friends like that (ones who'd rather him die than be with another girl, even if it's a "i want us to die together" kind of deal), entitled to his own emotions in that way? people don't just randomly decide to stab their crush, the girls crushing on him probably treated him in other ways of entitlement (even if they were incredibly subtle), though ofc we don't know the situation for sure. like yeah motoyasu should've been more assertive and tried to talk things out, but girls. shouldn't be pulling knives on people and murdering them idk what to say. even if motoyasu might have been dating several people at once (the wiki doesn't elaborate so idk the context), he shouldn't be like. murdered over it

i do think the savior schtick as well as the flirting in general may have at some point been a front he put on (the skirt-chasing & flirtiness before the heroic schtick anyways) that he kind of just subsumed into his identity. i can see his fondness for angels (and later his tangential obsession over filolials) coming from wanting to embody the heroism angels are meant to have. angels are meant to Save, and idk. maybe he wanted someone to save him. maybe he felt like he had to be a savior to the women in his life. shrugs. he doesn't seem like the type to think he'd be able to get trauma i think he'd ignore it like the rest of his problems

anyways your early 20s is a great time for more overt symptoms of schizoaffective disorders to pop up so like. i think after getting hit w/that Big Traumatic Betrayal by Myne (as well as anime logic) i can see the personality/reality shift he experiences post-Curse Shift to have finally rattled that sort of thing out of hiding from him. him starting to see most women as Literal Pigs is what put the nail in the coffin for this hc of mine. like. uhhh

the Curse Series may be a defense mechanism for psychological trauma, but a lot of mental illness is more or less the brain trying to comprehend the world around it in specific ways. so honestly the Curse Series (and working your way through it) could very much be seen as an allegory for coming face to face with your trauma—learning how to embrace it, but also learning how to accept it and to not let it overtake you. depression can rob a lot of sensation from you (i personally stopped feeling many emotions at all), so Naofumi losing his sense of taste after Myne's betrayal didn't surprise me one bit.

Motoyasu was already straight up accepting/leaning into delusions the longer he spent in this world, being fed lies and such by Myne and the king & likely other royals, so having to come to grips with all of that ALONGSIDE later being humiliated (being forced to see how shit of a job he did as a Hero) and betrayed AGAIN by Myne... yeah. i'm not surprised he broke, and broke that hard. i personally don't even think the Pig Thing was caused by the Curse Series; again, i think it was an underlying mental illness finally rearing its head, and the Curse Series fed into it.

from what i heard motoyasu likes to make his own clothes or something? idr the exact tidbit. but if it's not canon that's certainly my headcanon. Art Student Moment.

mentioned before in some tags that i think motoyasu could be hypersexual? at the very least after unlocking his Curse Series he might have started experiencing its symptoms more and more. tfw the trauma

also mentioned in those same tags that i think motoyasu could probably be pansexual or omnisexual. i still don't really know. both could fit him. but i could also see him just never deciding on a label, nor using one.

i think, in spite of how melromarc royals/the church might have felt about it, motoyasu would probably think demihumans were really cool. i think he'd really want to befriend some and even put a few on his party, but i could see Myne/other teammates refusing or even bullying them out of the party behind his back altogether. i genuinely don't see why motoyasu would want to discriminate against them (he'd see them as people who happen to have animal features, which is SO COOL!), even if others tried to manipulate him. they could tell him that therianthropes are disgusting and greedy and evil and he'd be like "aight!" and then he meets one and is like "yo this is my homie actually. i like her" and myne would have to remind him that she's a therianthrope and motoyasu would be like "But she's epic"

I THINK THIS IS MY FUNNIEST HEADCANON ACTUALLY. "i think motoyasu wouldn't be racist." THIS IS LIKE. SUCH AN UNNECESSARY HEADCANON TO HAVE.

i'm sorry i was just thinking about it. it's so funny that motoyasu has a really low tolerance for alcohol. he probably can't handle spicy food either, but would be the kind of person who'd try repeatedly to show off and eat incredibly spicy food anyways. he'd cry so much

(abuse mentions done btw)

Itsuki

he probably feels so cool about being the only Hero with natural powers i'm ngl. he's probably tried to show off to ren & motoyasu before and he felt SO COOL. ren thought it was impressive and very fitting as a bow hero. motoyasu was also impressed and asked itsuki a few technical questions (something that caught the both of them off guard), and as Itsuki answered more and more he started to get self-conscious again. eventually Motoyasu was like "wow, that's really cool, but it sounds like you don't use it for very many applications. That kind of sucks." it made itsuki really mad, especially after motoyasu (in his dense-headed glory) suggested a few ways to use his powers (and then ren started adding on and refining those suggestions). however after he stormed off he thought about it and was like "y'know what. that would be an interesting way to use my power. alright"

(in retrospect he's still kind of upset that Motoyasu was the one to start suggesting stuff, especially out of the blue, especially after how idiotic he began to act when the church stuff started to ramp up, but he's also... incredibly thankful. Ren offered more advice as well but he wasn't always easy to reach)

perhaps has always had an interest in art and artistic endeavors, but may have felt pressured by Hero Stuff™ and honing his powers to really pursue that kind of thing. may just be because of the trinket he used to get rishia off his team, but i think he'd be a huge fan of jewelrymaking, naofumi should give him some pointers

i'd like to think that even though he faced a lot of bullying in his prestigious school, there might have been a handful of people who cared about him and wanted to get to know him + see him succeed. in particular, crossing a bit into OC territory, but i think it would be neat if there was a girl in the top class who resembled Rishia somewhat (at least, physically at first). so like, this girl would be great at most everything, would be incredibly humble about it, would be the best damn hero Itsuki's ever met. and he'd be green with envy. but this girl would also think itsuki was pretty cool and try to reach out to him, a lot. (she'd be the girl who gave itsuki that manga i rambled about in the General Headcanons thing).

getting to know this girl would (he assumed) be a bit of an in to the strongest people in the school, but turns out that she tries to surround herself w/decent people, so a lot of the people she hangs out with would be people itsuki might consider losers? anyways, this is about itsuki so we're talking about him—i think he would've admired her a lot, but his anger at himself and his own inadequacy might have caused him to lash out at her. (maybe after she saved him from something.) itsuki didn't run out into the street and die Right There, but he definitely died a few days later. that girl probably would've been kinda fucked up hearing about his death, idk if she'd crush on him or anything but. yo. that was a classmate. they were getting so close, too

following that, rishia didn't remind itsuki of Her at first until he took a closer glance and realized they looked a bit similar. so he probably felt really proud to be able to save her for once... then when rishia started doing more heroic things, it ripped out all of itsuki's insecurities and complexes full-force. sorry king about your cringe

i think itsuki is an only child. fuck i didn't talk about this w/the other characters too did i? i think they're all only children except for naofumi, they all exhibit Only Child behavior. except maybe ren. i could see ren being a middle child as well actually

itsuki probably knew a lot about archery before getting summoned, as it'd be a straightforward way to exhibiting his powers. i wouldn't be surprised if he was a bit of a gunsman too—japan has incredibly strict gun laws, but his japan could be different (especially as people have powers there).

probably a cat person. i can see it with my own eyes.

EDIT i did it for the other heroes and i forgot to do it for itsuki & kizuna. mentioned it before, but I think Itsuki would think he's straight and would try not to put too much thought/stock into it. He'd probably actually be bi, but prefer women. he's young tho and wouldn't seem very decided about it so he probably thinks it's something that he shouldn't mess around with too much. he might think liking boys would be another thing he could be bullied about so it's an idea he'd prefer to avoid. Sorry about diagnosing him with internalized homophobia. (i don't think i even gave motoyasu internalized homophobia i think i just made him clueless)

Kizuna

i don't have very many headcanons for her but honorary mention!

queerplatonic partners with Glass. i think they're about the same age, Glass is probably 19 or something. Age aside, prove me wrong

i can see kizuna having pet birds. maybe a couple finches. when Kris popped out she probably got REAL excited (PENGY!!! PENGY!!!!!!!!!)

i bet this bitch loves boba too actually. has probably tried to recreate it a few times with mixed results

as i mentioned w/itsuki, i forgot to talk about a sexuality headcanon when i did it for everyone else. I see her as aroace, or at least on the asexual spectrum!

haha speaking of spectrum. (hits her with the autism ray) why not. special interest is fishing why the hell not. we can give her the autisms. she certainly gives me the vibes. tism to tism communication

#mango japery #small-spark-of-light #shield hero #headcanon #my writing #mango's writing #naofumi iwatani #ren amaki #motoyasu kitamura #itsuki kawasumi #kizuna kazayama #writing #theory #I HOPE YOU ENJOYED these were longer than i thought they'd be but they still aren't very many headcanons to me #yeah i get. kinda crazed about this stuff #i could write novels about characters i have more thoughts on #these guys are just new to me. but i liek them :]#abuse mention #ask to tag #spinning motoyasu around in my brain i'm so worried about that guy. i'm so worried about that freak #but also i am very scared about how that might be received #i feel conflicted (if not uncomfortable) with how the wikia talks about motoyasu's delusions so #i don't know how respectful shield hero itself is about mental health issues #i think i saw the r slur in one page screenshot though (said by naofumi) but there wasn't any context so i was like #<:|............... i don't know how they're gonna handle this homies........#i'll have to read the manga/light novel to make up my mind #but motoyasu clearly needs help and i'm worried that the series might be treating his problems as a joke #if there are no motoyasu fans i am no longer alive on this earth etc etc #keep him away from filo tho.

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hookingminor · 5 years ago

Text

4 times his friends posted you on their instagram + 1 time he did - mat barzal

a/n: I wrote this literally back in july so lets just ignore how idealistic this is regarding quarantine but im a slut for some barzy this is all fluff

word count: 4,733

summary: like the title says, some friends (with benefits?) to lovers + a tyson cameo, fluffy summer quarantine fic

tagging @davidpastrsnack so kate can get on the barzy train

To say the whole quarantine thing was an inconvenience was an understatement. School had ended online, your summer internship was cancelled, and it seemed like your summer would turn into an uneventful couple of months stuck in your apartment in, probably, the worst place to be stuck in during a pandemic: New York City.

Or so you thought.

You’d planned on having the most boring summer ever until your friend, Mat, had invited you to hole up away with him and a few friends in a lake house back in Vancouver. Well, friend was a loose term. The two of you were friends… just ones that kissed occasionally… and sometimes more than kissed. You’d met him about a year ago at a bar while he was out with his teammates after a game. A cliche meeting, but you hit it off instantly. Instead of ending up in his bed at the end of the night (which you would eventually end up at after a couple months), it turned into an exchange of numbers and an invitation to hang out later in the week.

You hadn’t thought anything of it at first, just thinking he was being friendly and wanting to end the conversation, so you were surprised to get a text the next day from an unknown number asking if you’d wanted to go on a bike ride.

Flashforward a year later and the two of you still went on bike rides together. At least, up until the pandemic started.

When the text came telling you to pack your bags for a month or so, you thought he was joking. Surely he couldn’t have meant you to join him in Vancouver over the summer? You were proven wrong when he showed up at your apartment the next day, two coffees in his hand.

“Uh, hi, Mathew,” you said hesitantly, opening your door to reveal your disheveled state, having just woken up.

“Why are you dressed like that? We have a plane to catch in four hours,” he said, pushing himself through your door, uninvited, to set the coffees on the counter.

“What are you doing here? What plane? You’re not supposed to be going out,” you reprimanded him for showing up unannounced and in the middle of quarantine.

“I told you we’re going to Vancouver, I know you read my text. Now let’s hurry up and pack, we gotta get going,” Mat rushed, already on the way to your bedroom.

You followed him after a brief moment once you’d processed what was going on. Mat had already pulled out your suitcase and set it on top of your bed by the time you entered the door. He was in the middle of rifling through your drawers and grabbing random garments to throw into the suitcase when you’d spoken again.

“You’re actually serious about this?”

“Of course I am. What better things do you have to do in a city on lockdown for an entire summer? Honestly, I’m doing you a favor,” he explained easily, turning back to grab more items.

“Oh, you’re doing me a favor? Thank you, Mat, for saving me from a summer of suffering. It’s not like I had other plans to find different internships or focus on my summer classes,” you replied sarcastically.

Mat rolled his eyes. “I am doing you a favor, and you’re doing me a favor by going. I need a hot piece of ass to get me through this, or I will lose my mind.” You slugged him on the shoulder in offense, but all he did was chuckle.

“And anyways, you can still do your classes in Vancouver. Instead of doing them locked in this apartment, you can do them lounged out under the Canadian sun. Preferably in a bikini,” he finished. You slugged his arm again, harder this time.

“In fact, you should take the red bikini, it makes your tits look amazing,” he said, noticing you shuffling through your swimsuits. You rolled your eyes at him but grabbed the red one anyway along with a couple others.

With both of you folding and packing, your bags were ready to go in record time.

“Alright, baby, let’s go.” And so you were off.

A week had gone by in total bliss. As much as you hated to admit it, Mat was right. Vacationing in Vancouver in a secluded lake house was a lot better than being alone in your apartment, even if you did still have classes to do. Mat teased you about it, but he always left you alone for a few hours in the day for you to focus on your work. Unless he really wanted something… like right now.

Mat had joined you laying on the couch while you were in the middle of annotating a book for class. He wiggled his way between your arms, causing you to break your hold on your book. He rested his head on your chest, arms wrapped around your middle, and nuzzled his face into your neck. Joining your hands back to your book and bringing your highlighter to the page, you continued to underline phrases you’d come back to later. A couple minutes passed in silence before Mat started sighing. And then he sighed again.

“What do you want?” you huffed out, closing your book with the pen marking your page.

“Let’s go swimming,” he said, pushing up to his elbows to look at your face.

“I have to finish, like, three more chapters today,” you explained.

“You can do that later. I want to go swimming now,” Mat whined.

“You know you sound like a petulant child right now, right?” you asked, moving a hand to his head, pushing his hair back as he pouted.

“Stop using big words on me. Let’s swim,” he said, rolling his eyes.

You paused to think about it for a moment, “Hmm… okay, I guess,” you said with a smile. Mat returned your smile with one of his own before hopping up to drag you to your room to change. It didn’t take much to convince you to swim. It was a really nice day out, and you didn’t really care to finish reading about 17th century philosophy.

You changed into your red bikini, Mat swapped his shorts for a pair of swim trunks, and threw on a backwards baseball cap. You went out back to join the rest of his friend group, who were in the process of loading up the boat with supplies and equipment.

“Oh, look, if it isn’t Brainiac and the Beast. Are you two finally going to go boating with us?” Tyson shouted from the dock. You rolled your eyes at his nickname they created for you and Mat. It had only been a week in Vancouver, but the chirps about you and school were tired by now.

“Princess here wants to swim in the pool, maybe next time!” you shouted back, pointing to Mat.

They laughed at your response, turning their attention back to the boat and running supplies to and from the house. You turned your attention back to Mat, who was taking off his hat and was about two seconds away from jumping in the pool.

“Mathew, stop!” you yelled out, “Get your ass over here!”

“What is it?” he asked, stopping just short of the deep end. He grumbled before marching over to you.

“You need to put sunscreen on first, dumbass,” you reprimanded. As you turned your back to grab the bottle of sunscreen, he rolled his eyes.

“Don’t roll your eyes at me, Mat,” you said sharply, turning back to face him with a raised eyebrow.

“Wouldn’t dream of it, baby.”

You ignored him, opening the cap and squeezing lotion onto your hands. You gestured him to turn around, and you spread the lotion over it, making sure to rub it into his shoulders.

“I don’t see why I have to put sunscreen on. It’s not even that hot outside,” he muttered.

“First of all, you’re a dumbass. Second of all, heat doesn’t automatically mean the UV rays aren’t strong. And lastly, you’re white, baby, you’ll burn like a sun-dried tomato and being in water only increases the amount of sun you’re exposed to,” you explained, reaching up to rub some on his face.

“Sorry, Miss Meteorologist,” he grumbled, clearly not happy he’d lost this argument.

“One of us has to have brains. We can’t all get by on our good looks and skating ability,” you replied, slapping his cheeks when you were done for good measure.

“Okay, well, if you’re finally done,” you nodded in confirmation, “Let’s go.” He picked you up from under your thighs and ran at full speed towards the pool before you could even process what was happening. You screamed his name in protest begging him to put you down, claiming you hadn’t had time to put on sunscreen yet. He ignored you as he jumped into the deep end, dragging you with him.

You emerged from the water clinging to Mat’s wet body, your hair sopping and hanging over your face like you had come straight out of the movie The Grudge. Mat was laughing at your chaotic look, knowing you were well pissed at him. You jumped higher in the water on top of him to dunk his head under and tried your best to drown him.

It wasn’t until you were relaxing on the couch later that night doing your routinely social media scroll that you saw one of the guys recorded your sunscreen interaction by the pool, you calling Mat a dumbass, and him throwing you in the pool onto their instagram story with a caption “all these two do is fight” with some laughing crying emojis added for effect.

After a long day or hiking, you’d immediately crashed on the couch once you’d gotten back to the house, not bothering to walk all the way to your room. It was only early in the afternoon but you’d been out since sunrise, and dealing with people for hours on end had drained you. The group laughed at you as you plopped your body down onto the couch, curling your head under your arm instead of grabbing the pillow two feet away from you. The rest of them gathered in the kitchen, refueling their bodies with assorted snacks as they started popping open bottles of beer, ready to start the night. It seemed that even an entire day on their feet had not emptied them of their, seemingly endless, energy.

“Jesus Christ, we hiked for, like, six hours and you’re all still bouncing off the walls,” you sighed deeply.

“We’re about to go hit the boat and go water skiing, too. I’m assuming you’re too tired to join us?” Tyson teased.

“I will not be joining you because unlike some people, I need a nap. Now get out of here, you’re all giving me a headache,” you said, pinching your fingers on the bridge of your nose to emphasize your point.

They all snickered but kept quiet as they shuffled around, packing up more food to take outside. You heard the sliding door shut and close a few times as they ran in and out before it was finally silent. You let out a sigh of relief as you took solace in the calm quiet.

That was until you felt a pair of arms shifting you closer to the edge of the couch. You peeked one eye open to see Mat rolling your body over to give him some space as he climbed over your body to nestle himself between you and the back cushions.

“Not going out on the boat?” You asked as he tucked a pillow under the both of your heads and pulled a blanket over your bodies.

“No. They’re exhausting. I need some time for myself,” Mat replied, wrapping his arm around your middle to pull you into his chest.

“No offense, but if you’re with me, you’re not by yourself,” you explained, closing your eyes again as you settled into a comfortable position.

“Yeah, but you’re you. You don’t exhaust me,” he said quietly. You didn’t know what to say to that, so you didn’t answer. Within a few seconds you heard Mat’s breathing even out, and you followed quickly behind him into a deep sleep.

A couple hours passed in a dreamless sleep when you heard the sliding of doors and laughter travel through the house. It stirred you from your sleep and you both shifted around, letting out displeased groans.

“Are they both still asleep?” You heard one of them ask from the kitchen. Neither of you wanted to answer in hopes they would leave you two to continue sleeping.

You were sadly mistaken.

“Hey! Sleeping beauties! Time to get up!” Tyson shouted from somewhere above you.

You both groaned out a “Fuck off, Tyson,” without opening your eyes, both of you giving him the middle finger. Tyson laughed to himself and you expected him to keep bothering you, but you heard his footsteps lead away from the couch. You turned over on your other side, tucking your face into Mat’s neck before falling back asleep.

When you woke up later that evening, you checked instagram again to see Tyson posted a new story. It was the video of him bothering you two and flipping him off with a caption that said “I get no respect around here :(“

It had been raining all day. Which meant everyone was stuck inside watching movies and eating pizza. It didn’t take long for you to get bored of lounging on the couch, especially when all they wanted to do was watch Fast and Furious movies. You sat on the loveseat you were sharing with Mat, and you distracted yourself from the boring movie by tangling your hands in your hair, French braiding the strands into pigtails mindlessly. You unbraided and rebraided your hair into a fishtail after the pigtails, and then into a regular braided ponytail after that. You let yourself get caught up in daydreams as you stared blankly at the TV when Mat started tugging on your leg. Dropping your braid, you finished tying it off with a hair tie and turned to look at him.

“Let me practice on you,” Mat said quietly.

“Practice what?” You asked.

“Braiding,” he said, shuffling to sit upright. He tried to gently push you off the couch until you got the hint and moved to sit between his legs on the floor.

“You think you can do it?” You asked, ready to offer him a demonstration.

“I’ve been watching you for the past half hour, I got this,” he replied, pulling out your hair tie. You rolled your eyes at his confidence, but let him continue unraveling the strands.

Every few minutes Mat would sigh exasperatedly before pulling out the twists he’d made to start over. Eventually, he’d almost gotten all the way to the end of your hair before he sighed again, clearly fed up by how long this was taking him. You didn’t say anything as he restarted for a third time, going for a straight back braid instead of a French braid.

After another ten minutes, Mat had finally completed his simple braid, tying your hair off with the tie. He tapped your shoulder to indicate he was done, and you pulled the long tail over your shoulder to look at it.

It was a braid.

An extremely loose one where he mixed up the strand order in a couple places, but a braid nonetheless. You turned around to get back up on the couch, and you were met with his triumphant smile.

“Good job, bud,” you complimented, leaving the braid in as you resumed your previous position on the couch.

You checked your phone to find a notification of a new story tag. You opened the app to see a picture of you on the floor, staring at the TV while Mat had his hands twisted in your hair and a confused look on his face and tongue poking out of his mouth. Next to your instagram tag was “he’s been knotting her hair on purpose for 20 minutes now”

Your final exams for the summer classes you were taking were in a week. Finals stressed you out more than anything else in the world, and when you were stressed, you did a lot of baking. A lot of baking. After finishing your finals study schedule and nearly breaking down almost twice because of the amount you had to get done, you decided to start baking instead of going to sleep. So, at 3 in the morning when everyone was asleep, you’d turned on the oven and brought out the bowls.

It began with a few dozen cookies. You figured everyone could at least enjoy the cookies. Who didn’t like cookies?

Cookies turned into muffins, muffins into cupcakes, and then cupcakes into pies. By the time everyone was waking up, it was nearly eleven in the morning. You’d gone to the store twice and had taken a few twenty minute naps while you waited for your desserts baked in the oven. And right now, you were in the middle of finishing off some cinnamon rolls for breakfast

“Oh my god, what the hell happened here?” Mat had asked with a scared expression, taking note of the disastrous kitchen. You didn’t answer him as you were topping off the rolls with some icing.

A few more bodies had gathered in the kitchen and began to fill the seats at the countertop while they watched you with worried eyes.

“What?” You asked innocently, placing the plates of cinnamon rolls in front of all of them. Their eyes followed you carefully as you pulled more goods out of the oven where you were keeping them warm. Plate after plate you set on the counter, all the cookies and muffins and cakes.

“How long have you been up?” Tyson asked cautiously. You swear you’ve never heard him use a softer voice than right now.

“I’m not sure. I never went to sleep, I guess? What time is it now?” You asked, pulling out glasses for orange juice.

“Nearly noon. You seriously didn’t sleep?” Tyson asked. The others had delved into the confections, eyes bouncing between the two of you as they stuffed their faces.

“She’s stress baking,” Mat replied quietly, helping himself to a cinnamon roll.

“What the hell is tress baking?” One of the other guys asked.

“Yeah she does this when she’s stressed. Usually when finals are coming up,” Mat said, directing it more towards you than his friend. You gave him a sheepish look, deciding not to comment since he already answered for you.

Mat was used to your stress baking as it resulted in you showing up at his place in the middle of the night with bags full of pastries in the late hours of the evening. It was always against his diet and he frequently gave most of your desserts to his neighbor, but he could never tell you no when you arrived with gifts.

“Well, I’m all out of flour, so, I’m going to run to the store again to get some more supplies so I can make a chocolate cake later,” you said hurriedly.

You did a quick double check of the kitchen, flashing all the guys a bright smile before heading out the door with your purse in hand, all of them staring until the front door shut behind you.

When you came back, you found Mat in the kitchen doing the dishes and nearly all the sweets you’d baked earlier were eaten or wrapped and put away. Maybe there was a plus side to being in a home with five other people.

“Mat, you don’t have to do that,” you said, setting your groceries down and hip checking him away from the sink.

“You’re already stressed, I figured doing the dishes would take away some of that,” he said with a shrug. He continued rinsing out some bowls as you gave him a small smile.

The two of you continued to wash the dishes in silence, moving to clean the countertops when you were done. After half an hour, the mess you’d made was gone and any signs of a baking breakdown had been erased.

It was a shame you were about to tear up the kitchen all over again.

“How about this,” Mat said, noticing the frown on your face at the thought of making another mess, “Let’s have a competition.”

You quirked your eyebrow, “I’m listening.”

“You said you were making a chocolate cake, right? How about we see who can make the better cake,” Mat propositioned.

You raised both your eyebrows this time. You both knew you were the better baker by a long shot. You did have this same breakdown at least twice a year. You weren’t even sure Mat knew how to make anything that didn’t come with box instructions or included possible salmonella-inducing ingredients.

You knew what he was really trying to do. He was trying to distract you from all the stress, and he knew you couldn’t turn down a competition. You were just as bad as him when it came to winning. Thankfully, this was something you knew you’d win.

“Fine, but I hope you’re prepared to lose,” you agreed with a smile.

“I don’t know, I have been practicing my cooking skills lately,” he said, grabbing the bowls he’d just dried off.

“Yeah, I’ll believe that when I see it,” you replied with an eye roll and heavy sarcasm.

You joined him in gathering all the ingredients and materials on the counter, setting up your respective stations. Mat divided the workspace in half, drawing a line in flour which made you laugh. You split the bowls between the sides and set up the ingredients on the second counter just like an actual cooking show.

“Okay, ground rules first. Half an hour to make the cakes, we bake them at the same time, and then another half hour for decorating at the end,” you explained, tying your hair back in a ponytail. Mat nodded at your statement and set a timer on his phone for 30 minutes.

“Ready.”

“Set.”

“Go!”

After about two hours, your creations were done. Well, they were supposed to be. Mat’s cake looked more or less like a brown lump coated in frosting and stripes. You’d tried your best to decorate yours with small chocolate roses, but you could’ve turned out a plain cake and probably would have done better.

“I think I won,” you stated confidently.

“You’re not allowed to decide, you’re biased! I’ll make a poll on my story,” Mat said, going to grab his phone.

“You can’t do that, your followers are going to pick yours.”

“Fine, we’ll get someone else to do it— Josty! Come here,” Mat called to his friend passing through the kitchen. He hesitantly walked over to where you were, not wanting to come in the middle of whatever you two were shouting about.

“We need you to make an instagram poll to see who’s cake looks better. Oh, and you’re going to taste test them,” you said, picking up your cake to pose for a picture as Mat did the same. Tyson sighed before realizing you two were serious and he opened his app to take a picture.

He added the photo to his story with a poll asking “Which one is better?” With two options, Y/N’s or Mat’s.

After you set the cakes back down, Tyson picked up a fork before stabbing them to pick out a chunk from each. He ate yours first, nearly moaning at the taste.

“Holy shit, this is, like, the best cake I’ve ever eaten,” Tyson said, shoveling down another forkful. You gave Mat a shit-eating grin.

“Okay, okay, try mine now,” Mat said, displeased. Tyson rolled his eyes before forking out some of his.

“Uh,” he coughed, “it’s a little,” cough, “dry.”

“What? No, it’s not! Let me try,” Mat shouted, outraged, and grabbed Tyson’s fork to try for himself.

It took him two seconds before he was spitting the cake into a napkin.

“Fine. You win,” Mat conceded, throwing a dish towel against the counter in mock fury.

You gloated for another 5 minutes, pointing out Mat’s terrible baking skills as Tyson continued to eat your cake and laugh at Mat.

You won the instagram poll too.

+ 1

It was the last week before you and Mat were flying back to New York. The past month had passed quickly, and Mat needed to get back for the start of training camps. As the summer began to end, the whole crew thought they’d spend one last day on the boat before everyone started parting ways.

It’s not like you were opposed to being on boats, but when all the guys did was water sports and no one wanted to slow down to teach you, it wasn’t as fun.

Today, however, had been quite calm as you sat against the front of the boat, a seltzer in hand as you watched Tyson wakeboarding in the back. Mat was curled up behind you as you leaned back against his chest, tanned skin shining in the summer sun. You reached back to grab the baseball cap off his head, placing it on yours to shield your eyes from the sun. You’d forgotten to bring sunglasses, and you figured Mat could part with his hat since he had a pair.

The day passed peacefully as all the guys took turns until it was sunset. Mat had joined you back on the seat, skin wet from just getting out of the water. He wrapped you in his arms before pulling you onto his lap, pressing a quick kiss to your cheek.

“Hey, Tys, take a picture of us real quick,” Mat said, shoving his phone into Tyson’s chest.

You thought nothing of it, you and Mat had taken many pictures together, and this was no different. Mat rested his chin on your shoulder, his arms wrapped around your stomach as you both gave your cheesiest smiles to the camera. A quick shutter indicated the picture was taken and Tyson gave Mat his phone back.

Mat called your name from your bed as you stood in the adjoined bathroom, finishing your nightly routine.

“Hey, do you mind if I post that picture of us on my instagram?” Mat called out.

“The one from the boat? Why?” You asked, drying off your face with a towel.

“It’s a cute picture,” he shrugged when you reentered the room.

“People are going to start talking if you do,” you warned with a cautious tone.

He paused for a second.

“Would that be such a bad thing?” Mat asked quietly, looking up to meet your eyes.

You stayed silent as you climbed in under the covers.

“What are you trying to say, Mat?”

He took a deep breath, “I think you’re amazing, you know that. And we’ve been friends for so long, it kind of feels natural, doesn’t it?” His fingers began tapping against the sheets anxiously as he held his breath and waited for your response.

You gave him a small smile, moving your body around to fully face him.

“It does,” you agreed, “But if you want us to be something more, you’re going to have to ask me on a date first.”

“A date? After I’ve already gotten you into bed? What’s the point?” You knew he meant it as a joke since he could barely finish the sentence without laughing, but you gently slapped his head as he began to apologize.

“I’m kidding!” He said between chuckles, “Will you go on a date with me once we get back to New York and it’s safe to go out again?”

“I’d love to, Mat,” you replied, leaning in to give him a sweet kiss.

“I’m still going to post that photo tomorrow, though,” he said after a short pause, smiling against your lips.

The next day when Mat had gone on a fishing trip with the guys, you saw a notification pop up on your phone.

“@barzal97 tagged you in a photo”

You unlocked your phone.

“Isolation isn’t so bad when you have this girl to spend it with”

#mat barzal #mat barzal imagine #nhl imagines #hockey imagine #nhl fic #my writing #isles13

1K notes · View notes

fbfh · 4 years ago

Text

I think you've horribly misread the situation [shitty roommate pt 2] - leo x reader

wc: 2.3k

genre: contemporary drama, you're definitly going to get second hand embarrassment, cozy fluff

pairing: leo x reader, attempted isabella x leo

reader: gender neutral, they/them

requested: hell yeah

warnings: mild swearing, roommate tries to steal your man once again, mentions of various mainstream vampire media (twilight, the vampire diaries etc.), brief mention of castlevania (even though i haven't seen it yet lol), breif mention of videogames and assassins creed, very mild delusion (roommate is secretly convinced leo is a vampire that's in love with her), attempted age gap relationship (she's 17 and leo's 19, he shuts that down real fast), very bad poetry

summary: You and Leo are both looking foward to spending a long weekend together, and Leo is determined not to let anything interrupt it, even if it means turning down your roommate's attempts to seduce him in the kitchen.

a/n: absolutley no hate or shade or judgement to anyone who has the same or similar traits as isabella!!!!!! at her core she's annoying because she's the antagonist, not bc of any isolated trait or traits

also she's shitty cause she keeps trying to steal your boyfriend?????

Edit: I forgot to mention before, but this is a college au where you're both still demigods, so you went to camp and on quests and stuff together

This weekend is going to be all about recharging. Recharging from the ridiculous back to back closing and opening shifts at work, recharging from having to redo that stupid project twice because your professor couldn’t decide on a clear way to define the criteria, and recharging from Isabella having her townie friend Regan over almost non stop to “completely shake up her look” as she put it.

Between the constant presence of someone you’d barely consider an acquaintance and Big Time Rush’s self titled album blasting on repeat out of her giant airpod shaped speaker, it’s been harder than usual to get in some effective self care. You have no idea how many more times you can hear the phrase “I’m going for Jade West meets Elena Gilbert, with just a little Buffy Summers” before you lose your fucking mind.

Thankfully, the hard part is almost over. There’s some minor holiday tomorrow on friday, so you and Leo both have a three day weekend ahead of you, which you intend to spend entirely together. You planned ahead, frontloading homework, chores, errands, and everything you could think of to remove anything that isn’t cuddling or playing video games and watching netflix together from your horizon.

This includes going straight from work to the grocery store to stock the fridge and get any snacks you and Leo want. You had texted him a while ago asking for anything he was craving, and head into the store with a concrete list. After a while, you circle around some aisles, avoiding the check out.

“I feel like I’m forgetting something,” you muse, knowing it’s untrue, but hoping to trigger a memory anyway. You can’t put it off any longer, finally checking out and heading back to your apartment. You’d be lying if you said you weren’t avoiding Isabella just a little.

You know bringing in all these groceries would be way easier with Isabella and possibly Regan’s help, but you just don’t have the social energy to talk to anyone, much less her, right now. By some miracle, you bring everything in yourself, and hope to get it put away before you see Isabella.

You turn to the freezer, putting away the ice cream. When you turn back around, you’re suddenly met face to face with Isabella, who has opened one of the boxes and is picking at a pastry.

“Hey girlie,” she says, elongating the hey.

“Hey,” you reply lethargically, putting the last of the groceries away. She looks at the pastry in her hand like she’s just noticing it.

“Sorry, I can’t help it, I’m italian.” She smiles, endeared by her own behavior. You have no idea what being italian has to do with asking before you open a box of your roommate’s food, but this really isn’t out of character for her. She brings up the fact that she’s half italian more than Lele Pons blames her behavior on being latina.

She’s wearing sweatpants that say chaser on the leg in red and gold varsity font, and a tight tee shirt that says “it’s okay to love them both” with silhouettes of the male love interests from one of the vampire shows she always watches. You collect the plastic bags to put in recycling, and see a piece of paper on the counter.

It reads as follows:

Drowning in my mind

No one hears me cry

Who was I before society

Before society put me in a pink dress

And handed me blonde hair dye

And told me to lose ten pounds or be labeled a freak?

The happiest people cry the most

Let the lyrics be your story

But I’m not like the other skinny blonde pretty girls

I’m

Different

-b.g. xox

You hold back a sigh.

“I think this is yours.” you say, handing it to her.

“Oh, it’s just some of my poetry I left lying around, that’s so embarrassing.”

I know, you think, you do that all the time.

“Did you read it?” She asks, hopefully.

“Nope.”

“Thank god, that would have been so embarrassing. My poetry is something really… deep, and personal to me.”

“Uh huh. Hey, I’m going to be doing a lot of self care this weekend, so-”

“Oh!” she interjects, eerily similar to Phoebe Buffay - you guess she’s been watching friends again - “I wanted to ask… is Leo coming over later?” Her voice is riddled with subtext, the expression on her face a little too invested in your answer.

“Uh, yeah. I told you the other day we’re spending the weekend together…”

She cuts you off again, a sudden, intense look on her face.

“When will he be here?”

You check your phone, scrolling through your recent texts.

“By 7 at the latest.” It’s around 6:40 now.

“Oh my god, I have to change,” she rushes back to her room, presumably digging through her recent additions to her closet.

You’re frozen for a minute after the interaction, left with a furrowed brow and the beginnings of a headache. You blink, then choose to reschedule processing why she feels the need to change for your boyfriend to a more convenient time. That’s enough of that for today. You don’t care what else happens, you’re not talking to anyone besides Leo for at least the rest of the day. You retreat to your room to finally shower and change into something comfy. As you pass by Isabella’s room, you hear her talking to Regan.

“...There’s something almost… supernatural about him.”

You bite back a laugh.

“Do you think he’s a…” Regan begins, ending the sentence with something too quiet to hear, but you’d bet almost any organ she said vampire.

So close. So, so close, and yet… here you are.

Not much later, Leo texts you to let you know he’s here. You read his text, and run out to hug him in the living room before even typing a reply. He picks you up, and spins you around. The embrace is warm and fulfilling and familiar, and you wish it would last forever.

“Hi, Sparky.” you murmur into his neck.

“Estrella…” he says, rocking you back and forth gently and pressing a kiss into your jawline, “I missed you so much.” He punctuates the sentence with another kiss, this one to your lips, and you smile more genuinely than you have all day. You’re about to agree when you remember the good news you’ve been saving to tell him in person.

“Guess what I got on sale for like, half off,” you start, excitedly, continuing at his invested expression, “the Assassin’s Creed bundle I showed you!”

“No way,” he starts, and you nod.

“I’ll go get everything set up, drinks are in the kitchen!” He watches you retreat into your room, disbelieving how he could possibly get someone as perfect as you to fall for him. He’s not going to question his luck. He grabs a couple caffeinated sparkling ices, and meets you in your room, setting down his bag and grabbing some comfy clothes to change into.

As you both get settled in, you fill each other in on all the ridiculous shit you’ve been through this week. You finally conclude the bizarre - yet somehow standard - Isabella escapades.

“So I will be avoiding all contact as much as possible,” you laugh.

“Yeah, no shit,” he agrees, “Consider me your human buffer.” You thank him, hugging him again and pressing a kiss to his lips.

The next couple hours are spent cuddling and finishing season 4 of Castlevania. Both reeling from the season finale, you agree this is a good place to take a break, get some food, and decide what game you should start with. It’s already 10pm, which most people would consider too late for dinner, but you have all weekend to fuck up your sleep schedules.

“Let’s review,” Isabella says, holding up two red lipsticks. She turns to Regan. “Which one?”

“That one,” Regan says, pointing to the one on the left, then turns to her list, and continues. “Here’s what we know; we’ve never seen him eat, and he never seems tired. He’s really smart-”

“Almost too smart,” Isabella adds, selecting black rose dangle earrings from her jewelry. Regan agrees, and continues.

“He’s almost hypnotically attractive, and his smile is a little too dazzling.”

“There’s something… supernatural about him. Like he’s not… all human.”

Regan writes this down.

“Plus he’s always wearing black and red, and those flowy button up shirts? It’s all adding up, Ree. That dream that someone was outside my window, the ring, everything…” She says, referencing the black and red cocktail ring she’d found with her stuff when she’d first moved, “I’m not saying it’s definite, just that… there’s a chance.”

“What about…” Regan says hesitantly, nodding toward your room.

“Please,” she scoffs, “he’s only with them to get close to me, like Damon and Caroline. Edward couldn’t have just approached Bella out of the blue, he had to infiltrate her friend group first, to seem less suspicious. Not to sound mean or anything, but they really don’t seem like the type someone… like him… would choose.” her voice gets dreamy when she mentions him.

In spite of having seen most mainstream vampire media almost as many times as Isabella, Regan still considers her the expert on these things, and decides not to point out that Edward didn’t infiltrate Bella’s friend group. Maybe it comes up in one of the retellings she hasn’t read yet.

“So, what now?”

Isabella sets down her lipstick, and turns to her friend.

“I tell him.”

Regan’s eyes widen.

“You’re going to tell him you know?”

“No… not yet. It’s too soon, we don’t have enough evidence. I’m going to tell him I know he’s in love with me, then once he’s secure in our relationship... we’ll see where it goes.”

She stands up, assessing herself in the mirror. She chose her outfit carefully; short red dress with black roses and black mesh collar, black rose bracelet to match her earrings, snug faux leather jacket, and black stiletto ankle booties with a very skinny heel, the zipper on the outside gold, not silver. She fluffs her wavy hair and turns towards the door. She looks back one more time, holding onto the doorway.

“Wish me luck.”

Leo enters the kitchen, seeing Isabella already there, leaning against the counter seductively. She’s wearing an outfit and jewelry this late at night that makes Leo wonder if she’s going to an emo tea party. He puts the takeout in the microwave. She’s still staring at him.

“Uh… hey.”

She lets out a dainty giggle, looking him up and down.

“... Hi.”

At a loss for words, and really wanting the awkward silence to be over, he continues, “Did you need something?”

“What I need,” she walks closer to him, tracing her finger over his collar, “is you.”

What the fuck?

His brain seems to stall for a moment, and she uses this opportunity to continue.

“I know why you’re here. I know that you’re only using them to get closer to me. I know-”

“Woah-”

“That you’re in love with me.”

Okay, double what the fuck.

She takes his stunned silence as shyness, and steps closer, putting her arms around his shoulders.

“You don’t need to play so coy, I-”

This time she’s the one that gets cut off. He grabs her arms and gently steps away, trying to make it abundantly clear that he’s not into this.

“Woah, okay, slow down. First of all, you’re 17 and I’m turning 20 in a couple months, so that’s a hard no. Second, I don’t know where you got this idea, but I am not dating them to get closer to you. We’ve known each other since we were like, 15, and have been through everything together. I’ve only known you for a couple months. I love them. Probably more than I’ve loved anything ever. I thought that was pretty obvious.”

He doesn’t want to be mean, he really doesn’t, but he can tell from the look on her face that she still thinks this is all part of some game.

“So why don’t I ever see you eat? Why are you so smart, and always up at night? I know what you are.”

He has to physically hold back a laugh. He takes a step back, and places his hands on the counter.

“Isabella, I have adhd. And I’m literally an engineering student. Why wouldn’t I be smart and have a shitty sleep schedule?”

She starts to protest, and he pulls out the reheated take out from the microwave.

“And for the record, I do eat.”

Exiting the kitchen quickly and retreating back to your room, he hands you your food.

“I got the game set up!” you say excitedly.

“Nice!”

You take one look at his face and can tell something happened. He sees this, and continues.

“I just had a very… interesting interaction with Isabella,” before he finishes the sentence, your head is already in your hands. You let out a groan.

“What did she do?” you mutter from behind your hands.

He pulls you into his lap, rubbing your back.

“I’m not totally sure,” you laugh, “but I think she thinks I’m secretly in love with her…” you’re both laughing before he can even finish the sentence.

“No…” you laugh, “no fucking way…”

“Believe me, I put an end to that as soon as it started.”

“Oh, I do.”

He runs his hand over your back, and you’re quiet for a moment.

“You know,” he continues, “I think getting our own place has definitely moved up the priority list.”

You couldn’t agree more.

#leo valdez x reader #leo x reader #leo valdez #leo valdez imagine #heroes of olympus #heroes of olympus x reader

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well-its-not-human-anymore · 4 years ago

Note

So this is a personal one for me to ask and if you're not comfortable with it don't mind it; how would the tmnt boys (seperate) react when the reader confesses that they're autistic after the boys got curious when she had some peculiar, behavior or stims. The reader would be stressed, because she has a crush on the tmnt boy in question and she didn't want them to find her weird or just stop interacting with her. When she's met with confusion instead, because the boys never heard of it, cue this weird conversation where reader tells them to the best of her ability what it is and the boys just keep asking questions. Also some general headcannons with it maybe?

Okay so I'm actually really happy that you asked me this because I feel like ASD isn't portrayed a lot in any type of media. My ADD and ASD have a lot of overlap so I hope I can capture what you're asking of me!

Now let's get into it!

TMNT Headcanons

The boys reacting to an autistic reader

Leonardo

he wasn't really sure what was happening the first time you reacted

one minute you were standing next to him doing dishes and the next you were attempting to claw your skin off like an angry cat

Leo tried not to look annoyed as he watched you rub your hands against your shirt until your flesh started to turn red

you looked like you were crying but he knew you weren't

but your face was starting to turn purple and your cheeks were puffy from the effort of holding your breath

"Y/N? You need to breathe."

You shot a glare at him, scathing eyes meeting his now very concerned expression

your own softened and you clutched your arms to your chest, heaving oxygen into your lungs until your face became a normal shade again

"Are you okay?"

The words were stuck in your throat and you weren't sure if you should nod or shake your head

so you gave him a half-hearted shrug

he frowned back at you but turned to finish the dishes on his own

when he questioned you about it later he couldn't help but be curious

"Well actually it's uh- it's kinda a sensory type of thing? There are certain textures that I can't stand touching do I avoid them but if I come into contact by accident my brain just kinda explodes and I shut down."

"How exactly does that work though?"

"I don't really understand it much but like- you know that feeling you get when you think there's a bug on you and there's not but it really really feels like it?"

He nodded

"Yeah, it feels like that. And anytime I touch something that triggers that reaction it takes FOREVER to get the feeling off my skin. That's why I usually wear gloves when I do dishes. Guess I just forgot to grab 'em today."

He was sympathetic

and god, you were so embarrassed

lucky for you, Leo's not an asshole

"Well thank you for explaining it to me, you really freaked me out earlier. I'll talk to April and see if we can keep a pair or two at the lair just in case you forget again."

Consider your heart melted

you couldn't even find the words to thank him and holy shit was your face red

"Hey y/n?"

"Yeah Leo?"

"Why didn't you ever tell me- us that you were autistic?"

Did you rip the band aid off now or make something up? Which would ,technically speaking, be less catastrophic in the long run?

"I uh- I really like you and I really didn't want you or the other's to look at me differently..."

wow, you liked him? miss ma'am you have saved this boy a world of anxiety and damn does he thank you for it

"Thanks for telling me... and y/n? I really like you to."

Awh fuck yeah, best possible execution of band aid-ripping-off ever

Donatello

Donnie wished he could act surprised when you finally told him

he really wanted to, it would've made you feel better for sure

but he sucked at lying and he didn't want to make you feel like he thought you were an idiot

because that was so far from the truth

after going through extensive research on Mikey's behalf when he suspected he had ADHD Donnie had stumbled across many different websites that discussed the symptoms and overlaps between both disorders

to make a long story short, Donnie knew that you had ASD and he was waiting for you to tell him

it would probably come off as rude if he brought it up in conversation right?

he didn't want to risk it

but that didn't stop him from keeping an eye on you and your behaviors

he was a man of science, of course he was going to analyze you

not in a weird way or anything, just as a curious sort of precaution

but the longer you were involved in the turtle's lives the more noticeable your stims and meltdowns got, Donnie did his best to cover for you without making you suspicious of him

eventually he'd come up with something that he hoped would come across as a friendly gesture and wouldn't set you off or scare you away

it was game night at the lair and you, as always, were perched on the arm of the sofa, a large grin plastered on your face

inside your head was exploding but you were masking it pretty well if you do say so yourself

but Donnie was, well... donnie was donnie

so when he noticed you starting to rock a little more visibly he removed his attention from commentating the game and grabbed a pair of headphones from the side table

you were beyond confused when he passed them to you but your face revealed everything

"They're noise cancelling, try them on."

holy shit it was like putting your head underwater, everything was muffled

not in the way normal headphones did, you quite literally couldn't hear anything at all, just a calm amount of nothing

you nearly started crying when you realized that Donnie had figured you out on his own

but you'd never been more relieved about anything in your life

Raphael

he wouldn't admit that he was mesmerized by your presence

you practically radiated calm

his complete opposite

it was his favorite thing about you, because despite your quiet disposition and calming aura you weren't afraid to call him out or rebut any of his insults

this was not something you expected him to appreciate nor was it something you thought would make you catch feelings

but damn if you didn't

he'd been sitting in on yours and Donnie's little experiment for an hour or so now, watching you both exchange quiet whispers and inside jokes that you always seemed to lag on

then you slipped up

not bad, nothing detrimental to the project, just the same mistake that you'd already made ten times over

you might as well have exploded

"Y'N, you just have to move thi-"

"I KNOW DONATELLO. I FUCKING KNOW AND I JUST CAN'T DO THIS BULLSHIT!"

you set everything down gently enough to avoid breaking it before turning and storming out of the lab, waving your hands like they were on fire

Raph and Donnie exchanged a look that sent the larger red turtle following after you

when you calmed yourself down enough to talk you kept your gaze locked on the wall, explaining that you couldn't make eye contact when you were upset

he might not be the smartest brother, but Raph's no dummy, he put those pieces together pretty quickly after you told him that one small detail

he wasn't upset that you didn't tell him and you'd personally never been more relieved

your heart nearly splattered into the stratosphere when you finally gace him your own explanation

"yeah, I like ya too."

you grinned so wide you were sure your face would split open and your entire body rocked side to side with excitement

he thought that was pretty adorable too

And he did stick around to offer a bit of support when you apologized to Donnie for screaming at him

Michaelangelo

to be frank it probably shouldn't have taken so long for Mikey to realize that you were autistic

the similarities between your own personality and his ADHD were so in sight it was near painful

it was his turn to make dinner that night and you'd made sure that you came over early to help him set up, you knew how side-tracked he'd get and you were the poster child for solid routine

what more perfect matchup existed?

trick question, there isn't one

you were on one side of the counter cutting vegetables and he was on the other throwing said vegetables into the mixing pot

the music was at an ungodly level of loud so your only means of communication were screaming over it

"MIKEY."

"WHA?"

"YOU GOT THE-"

"YEAH."

"AND THE-"

"UH HUH."

"COOL, HAVE YOU SEEN THE-"

"TONGS? NO, THE SKEWERS. YEAH, THEY'RE IN THE OTHER DRAWER."

"THANKS."

the two of you went about your previous tasks, thinking nothing of the conversation that had just taken place

at least until you'd begun washing your knife and cutting board

that's when Casey walked in, looking both perturbed and annoyed at the same time

"Alright, which one of you knows telepathy?"

Mikey exchanged a glance with you and you returned it with a raised eyebrow

"The hell you mean brah?"

he looked at the both of you like you were the ones that had grown four extra heads before speaking again

"You literally just had a conversation with like five words and somehow just knew what the other meant? What's up with that?"

you glanced at Mikey again

"Holy shit, did we?"

"I mean, not really. You used your hands."

now all three of you were confused but it quickly became two when Casey shook his head in defeat and left the room

"You know I think he's right."

he blinked first and your staring contest ended

"But you used your hands-"

"I got autism Mikey, one does not simply not use their hands as forms of speech."

"You're-"

"Yep."

was the silence laughing at you? could it do that? it was kinda rude

"Huh, that actually makes sense, that's not mean is it?"

you shook your head no

"You're just me but fast."

Mikey agreed with that, pestered you with a few more questions, and went back about working, as did you, you saw no reason to address it further

but your cheeks burned red

"Yo- Y/N that actually explains why everyone else thinks we're a thing."

you didn't know if you could choke on air or not but you did it anyways

"Are we?"

he gave you his signature grin

"If we are then Raph owes April a hundred bucks."

you returned his smile

"Oh this oughta be good."

I'd like to preface this by apologizing for my near three week absence. Life got crazy and my writer's block hopped on a train, went through a school zone, killed seven pedestrians, and committed tax fraud before tumbling off a cliff never to be seen again.

But on the bright side- I got my SAT scores back and started some scholarship applications. Super happy with that. School's out in a few weeks so I'll be able to write more (hopefully).

Anyways, I hope I got this one down okay. I may have hyper analyzed the request so I might be a little off. But I really enjoyed doing this one and I hope you like it!

-Mars 🌠

#tmnt bayverse #tmnt headcanons #tmnt x reader #askbox #ask response #writing requests #writing blog #writersblock #tmnt raphael #tmnt donatello #tmnt michelangelo #tmnt leonardo #tmnt 2014 #tmnt 2016

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itsohh · 2 years ago

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writing thoughts #2

ngl this is more of fustrated sorta post and I wanna start of by saying this is not directed at the r6s community in anyway. I firmly belive theres a huge amount of respect and care in the r6s community on tumblr that even with people I disagree on matters with, hold. in most cases (this is what I have seen at least) you r6s lot are all a delight to have

what fustrates me is other sorta uprising communities that have seen this real shift on how reader and writer sorta communicate. a real shift in how fandom sorta is these days and I can probably credit it to tiktok (its a shitty blow I know)

there was always sorta just this understanding between reader and writer. that fanficition is a hobby, we don’t get paid, its made primarly for the writer and then its shared. its always great to have feedback and to interact and have motivation. It’s like sharing your favourite toy with a friend and enjoying their enjoyment sorta thing yah know?

but these days idk its changed, I feel like in some communities that fanficition is sorta a demand these days, rather than just accepting whats out their I feel like people are exspecting things to be catered to exactly what they want with no care how it happens. let me break that down in certain ways.

the demand of repersentation

its something we critisize in media because thats multi million dollar companies who should be doing better. but in fanfiction idk it just feels :/. I can understand wanting something to fit you, speshly if its x reader. but its those random posts of people demanding there be more rep about said thing or even saying their disapointed in writers for not having it. and then they don’t even write it themselves. like its for the writer. if you want something like that, request it directly to someone, hell, write it yourself or even commision it. as the sole author of 2 tags I forced to get wrangled on ao3, people need to be the change they demand.

the demand of a certain fics

I see this huge uprise of people going ‘I want this fic where they: plot’ and its just a random post in the tags. like request it directly to someone or write it yourself. I love writing things directly requested to me cause its like you took the time to share that thought directly with me yah know? we make a connection in a way. its a suggestion, a request but making a post about it and shoving it in the tags and demanding it be written sucks, its removing the sorta connection a writer gets from a request and shows that they care nothing about actual writers but only whats written. its treated like content only

open critisism

I get maybe not liking something or whatever and having thoughts we all do. but people puting it in the main tag of the x reader where most likely the author is gonna see it really sucks, like fanfiction isn’t profesional in any matter. negative feedback on something that you don’t want any negative or constructive feeback is total balls. you don’t look at painting someone did for fun and then critisize it the same way you would on a professional art piece. let that person be happy! even if its bad just keep it quiet yeah?

but its not just readers I feel like that have changed its also writers. incorrect tagging is now the blight of my life. I speak about this mainly on ao3 as tumblr don’t have any requirements or specific options so like anything goes. people incorrectly tagging all the characters as / when its not actually a romantic relationship is killing me. please, just because you tag more doesn’t mean more people are gonna read it. then lack of tags, like I get not wanting to tag or whatever thats fine. theres options for that. like ‘author chose not to tag this’ but when people don’t tag that and then have one of the things as something that happens SUCKS, for example: major character death. I know it could spoil the fic which is why ‘Choose Not To Use Archive Warnings’ is there but not using that tag and then having said thing occur, its just not cool. It’s a lack respect to those who read your stuff. it takes like two seconds to correctly tag those big warnings.

then theres like people writing for stuff and they havent even seen any of the actual like source material like huh? I’m not fustrated so much about this one but more confused. like people writing about a character cause their hot but not like actually seeing how they are in canon? confuses the hell out of me, how do you know your getting their character right? like what? is it all hype? whats going on here? people seeing on picture of them and writing fan fiction, mate thats not the character ur writing for thats just ur oc in a skinsuit or at least your reducing the character down to basic archtypes and insulting whatever depth to the character there is in canon

overall its so discouraing looking to join a fandom and then seeing this. works treated like content and not the hobby that they are, lack of care for warnings

and like I know how it used to be once upon a time way back before ao3. (me using A/N is a remnant of the past that I will subject you to for the rest of my life) I feel like in some ways we are going backwards and in others we are going the wrong way. I’ve been on tumblr for a very- fuck its been 10 years- and I’ve seen some of this on the odd occasion before but like this is a new level. never have I seen the x reader tags so full of non x reader stuff like just random people saying whatever they want, I mean yeah the prn bots but like its just actual people destroying the tag system. if its not character x reader don’t tag it as yeah?

#itsohh rambles #I've seen post about minors demanding stuff but theres enought posts about that #the lack of care and just community connection is outstanding #(negative)#writing is hard and takes time #I want to be able to share the things I write yah know?#the entire thing of an endless stream of content on demand has ruined so much including fanfiction #this is just my unfilted thoughts so theres no editing involved #theres also the huge issue of how people interact with per say the actual actors and taking things WAY too far but yeah I have seen people #voice exactly how I feel about that so I don't feel the need to write it out

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floraliaison · 4 years ago

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[ melodrama ] ― track i | homemade dynamite

political au. ushijima wakatoshi x fem! reader.

3.1 k

masterlist. next.

If there’s any one word you would prefer people to describe you as, it would have to be unquestionably loyal.

After all, it’s just past seven, and you haven’t yet drunk enough whiskey as you would like to, but when Oikawa tells you about a new guy you must hate, you don’t even think twice before agreeing.

He shifts the drink in his hand, ice cubes clinking together while he side-eyes the group of men from across the veranda, no doubt burning holes into the back of his intended target’s head as he mutters, “And there he is.”

You whip your head to the right, not caring enough about subtlety because this is your house and you can and will look at whoever you damn please.

His directions don’t really help much, you soon realize, because there are a hundred and one of Eita’s friends huddled around the end of the buffet table where the drinks are located.

“There are a bunch of ‘he’s over there, Oiks. Which one?” you hiss under your breath, craning your neck to see if you can pick anyone out from the crowd.

There’s Leon, Kenjiro, Hayato, and a handful of other people you recognize but can’t recall the names of. All that matters is that they’re all annoying, and they’re all here.

You’d think Oikawa’s taste in men has improved in the six years you’ve been gone, but if he actually says it’s one of them then you’ve apparently thought wrong.

“The tall one, Y/N,” Oikawa says as though this is the most obvious thing in the world. His rings glint in the dim light as he discreetly points at one in the far back. “The one with the white jacket.”

Finally, you spot whoever it is he’s referring to, and the next thing out of your mouth is a crisp “What the fuck?”

Oikawa snorts in derision – why he would when he’s the laughingstock in this particular situation, you’ll never know, but that still doesn’t stop you from echoing the sound back.

“I leave my best friend alone for a few years, and when I come back you’re suddenly all broken-hearted about Ushijima Wakatoshi?” You say, equal parts incredulous and disappointed. Said best friend only shrugs in response, chugging the rest of his rum before slamming the empty glass down on the table.

“Save it, princess. Iwa’s already lectured me about the whole ‘you have terrible taste’ and ‘you should stop going after guys who you know are only going to break your heart’ thing,” he shoots back, his use of air quotes telling you that no, he didn’t – and probably still doesn’t – follow Iwaizumi’s advice. You roll your eyes, comeback already on the tip of your tongue, when —

“Hold on,” the boy next to you suddenly sits up straight, eyes wide open and staring at you. “How come you know him?”

“Well who doesn’t know him?”

Although you deliver it in a way that comes off as mildly sarcastic, all of his prominent social, athletic, and political embellishments have served to establish Ushijima Wakatoshi as a household name; both in Tokyo and throughout the rest of Japan.

But while that’s true, you for one can’t say that you know the man in the way that Oikawa is implying. Despite belonging in the same political circle, what with both your fathers’ professions, you have yet to properly interact outside of the social niceties required for the few parties and fundraisers you’ve seen him at.

From what you are able to discern the first few times you have been able to talk to him though, you are one hundred percent certain that you disliked the man to an almost frightening degree. His stoicism, apparent indifference and boundless pride rub off of you the wrong way, and you’ve been actively ignoring him at every meeting afterwards.

Your friend lets out another snort – you’ve half a mind to change his contact name to horse at this point – while you raise an eyebrow at his accusatory finger-wagging, almost daring him to say what’s so clearly on his mind.

Because despite wearing a short white number to stave off the summer heat that dominated the venue just hours prior, you have absolutely zero qualms about giving Tooru a thorough beat-down if necessary.

“There you guys are.”

Someone plops down into the vacant seat to your left, and when you turn to see a familiar, non-douchey face, you break into a smile.

“Hey, Haji,” you greet Iwaizumi as you lean against his side.

The faint blush that spreads across Oikawa’s face doesn’t escape you when you sneak a glance at him. Despite having his mind preoccupied by Ushijima, it looks like the brunette still hasn’t let go of his little crush on the final member of your trio. “Iwa-chaan, we waited forever. What took you so long?”

“Got lost, your house is fucking huge Y/N,” Iwaizumi explains, setting down his glass of his newest alcoholic concoction as he rolls up the sleeves of his dress shirt. “Good thing I ran into your brother, few more minutes and I would’ve lost my mind in there.”

You snicker at him, a low mumble of “and you claim Tooru’s the stupid one” escaping you because honestly, your house isn’t that big. He might just not admit it but it’s common knowledge that Hajime’s a bit... directionally challenged, to say the least.

Ignoring the glare he sends your way, you nonchalantly pick up his drink and take a sip. “Ah, very nice. You really should consider bartending, Haji, you’ve got the talent for it,” you remark, handing Oikawa the glass for him to taste.

Iwaizumi’s skill in mixing spirits was one the three of you discovered during one of your first parties, when you and Tooru had complained about how shitty the drinks were. Hajime, in a true gentlemanly fashion, had grabbed a couple of bottles off the counter and kept the two of you well-provided for for the remainder of the event. (and for every other event that came after it.)

The spiky-haired lawyer only rolls his eyes at your words, plucking the crystalware out of Oikawa’s hands before he could finish it off amidst the latter’s ungodliest of whines. “What were you doing anyway? Looked like you were discussing some deep stuff when I came in.”

You separate from him, putting your hands on your hips and adopting a haughty tone, “We are slandering Ushijima Wakatoshi, and his ways of ill-repute. You, by declaration of the Mistress, which is me, and by Friendship Code 70040, is hereby required to join as well.”

“I’ll pass, Wakatoshi’s cool,” Hajime comments around a sip of alcohol, and the casual use of Ushijima’s first name is enough to give you pause.

“Okay, first of all how are you on a first name basis with him and second, you’re a guy.” you exclaim, throwing your hands up for emphasis. “Of course you’d think that!”

“First question: I worked with him for a bit two years ago, not gonna say anything more because company rules, but we talked and he’s really nice,” Iwaizumi holds up two fingers. “Second, sure I am, but even your brother thinks so, too.”

“The world doesn’t just consist of Eita.”

“Alright, you both better shut it because the topic of your very heated conversation is heading right here,” Oikawa interrupts, poking you in the side and sending a look at Iwaizumi.

You groan in response and shake your head. Even during your time abroad, you’ve been unable to escape his presence; from the posters promoting his team for the 2014 World League to the numerous brand advertisements three years later, Wakatoshi was everywhere.

But - and you’ll never admit to this out loud, not ever - even though all you’ve seen of him was in print, on the television, and in the occasional social media update, you could never deny the fact that the man was handsome.

Tooru is attractive, as evidenced by the sheer number of his admirers in high school, Hajime has received his own fair share of confessions and Valentine’s Day chocolates, and you have to admit that your brother is objectively good-looking as well.

And while it’s a confession you have to make under duress, Wakatoshi is a completely different case altogether. You’d thought you were stunned when Miya Atsumu came to your offices to help promote the newly rolled-out banking app, but even he can’t really compare.

Nothing can really do with perfectly gelled olive hair, pristine three-piece suit slightly strained against a muscular build, and the undeniable aura that exuded power and demanded respect.

One would have to be practically blind not to feel attracted to Ushijima (but even then, you think that the timbre of his voice can still make anyone weak in the knees), but because you have no shame and are definitely not above pettiness, you maintain a disgusted-looking sneer as you watch him make his way to your table.

“Hey Toshi,” Oikawa says, the red from before making a reappearance as he takes in the newcomer with eager eyes.

“Good evening, Oikawa,” Ushijima replies, but it’s clear that his attention is focused elsewhere; namely, on you.

Your skin crawls at the weight of the stare he’s pinning on you, but you veto the urge to flip him off right then and there because that would be against proper decorum. Your patience is running thin though, and he needs something else to stare at immediately or so help him God you will do it.

“Wakatoshi,” Iwaizumi intervenes, bless him, and offers a hand towards the taller. “It’s been a long time.”

“Hajime,” Ushijima grasps the appendage and gives it a firm shake, but his gaze still hasn’t left you. ”It’s good to see you.”

“Yo Ushiwaka! Get back over here!” One of the miscreants across the veranda calls out, standing beside what seems to be a set-up for a round of beer pong. You can’t help but make a face when you catch sight of it because what did they think this was, some messy Saturday night college party? These guys really had no taste.

Ushijima finally turns around to head back to his friends, but not without shooting you one last cursory glance over his shoulder; a glance that you dutifully avoid despite every single cell in your body pushing you to return it and have him catch sight of the hellfire burning in your gaze for doing whatever it is that he did to Tooru.

Because damn it, no one hurts your friends or family and gets away with it. Not even over your dead body, because God knows you will rise from the dead just to get retribution on their behalf.

The minute Wakatoshi’s out of earshot, you scoff into your glass of whiskey, hastily downing it in one go because you’d need more of it in your system if you wanted to survive tonight with him around.

In the entirety of your 26 years, never have you once thought yourself as unlucky. Horribly ill-timed, sure, but unlucky? Nope.

Or at least, not until tonight.

“If it isn’t Miss Semi,” a smooth baritone sounds from behind you, nearly causing you to drop the container you’re holding in surprise. “Good evening.”

You seethe, ready to give the person a piece of your mind for almost being the (however indirect) culprit to the destruction of a 20-year old piece of china, and you have the gall to be so confrontational because you actually know who it is. Only one person in this entire house can be in possession of a voice that deep.

True enough, when you turn, it is Ushijima Wakatoshi who stands at the entrance to your kitchen in all of his six-foot-three glory, eyebrow cocked in a perfect arch as he regards you. He’s holding an empty wineglass in his left hand, and it looks like he’s come in here to have it refilled.

You aren’t sure what exactly about the situation brings all the blood rushing to your face; be it the anger you feel at seeing him so callously walk into your kitchen like he owns it instead of going to the refreshments table outside, or the feeling of something else at the sight of him in only his deep purple dress shirt; sleeves rolled up and top two buttons undone.

That, along with the fact that his hair is now slightly tousled, leaves you thinking that he looks positively sinful, if not for the smirk that’s painted on his stupid face. That one tiny detail pushes you to choose the first, and safer, option.

You roll your eyes.

“Yes, hello Ushijima,” you respond drily, slamming the cabinet shut to punctuate your tone. “Is there anything I can help you with?”

He simply raises the glass in his hand in response, and you are unable to get a biting comment in about how he should instead look for a refill outside instead of in here like some privileged dick when he speaks.

“Congratulations on the announcement,” he begins, stepping beyond the threshold and into the kitchen, thick carpet muffling the sounds of his polished Italian leather shoes as he makes his way towards you.

When he gets dangerously close to the boundary of the minimum three-feet you need to have between you and him at all times, you briefly consider getting violent and chucking the bowl at him just to be done with it, but he seems to have other plans when he stops by the marble island, a full one inch away from your protective perimeter.

Looks like your grandmother’s favorite crucible will live to see another day.

You see him eye you expectantly from his position, and realize that you’ve yet to respond to his statement. “Thank you. I understand that the same is in order for you as well, what with your succession of Madame Junko’s position.”

He nods, less confirmatory and more ‘I’ve found your answer satisfactory,’ and you cannot suppress the white-hot lance of annoyance that shoots through you at the memory that comes barrelling along with the simple gesture.

Suddenly, you’re both no longer OS Post Holdings or The Ushijima Telegraph and Telephone Corporation’s newly appointed presidents and CEOs, but mere fifteen year olds attending middle school at the same time.

Ushijima has always been the star student, and while your father has pushed you to make friends with the quiet boy, you’ve never found it in yourself to brush aside the vast difference present in the way he looks at Wakatoshi, with eyes and gestures full of a soft sense of pride, and then at you, all strict words and interactions that feel more business related than anything else.

You’re not stupid, never was and never will; you know that your father wanted a son to follow in his footsteps. And although he had twins - a girl and a boy - he saw Eita as more of a disappointment because of his unwillingness to live the life the patriarch of the family wanted him to.

So while your brother pursued his dreams in the music industry, you were left to shoulder the responsibility that came with the Semi family name. You studied rigorously, honed your talents, and polished your social skills until you shined, determined to be the brightest gem in the industry and the daughter your father would be proud of.

But even though you were not stupid, you were definitely naive. Naive to have thought that he would be satisfied with what he had, naive to have thought that he wouldn’t look somewhere else to fulfill his own personal dreams.

And that’s how you first met Ushijima, the son of Governor Utsui and your father’s new protegee, as he so proudly told you over dinner with him one Thursday night.

The only thing that kept you from breaking down then were the years spent at etiquette lessons, so you settled instead on gripping your silverware until your knuckles turned white. You could feel Eita’s eyes on you from across the table, and you didn’t have to look to know that they were apologizing for something that he didn’t even do.

The other two males in the room seemed oblivious to your imminent spiral, happily talking with each other and discussing whatever it is that they deemed important, and the fire in your heart that burned for the olive-haired boy grew into a full-fledged inferno.

That day marked the beginning of your lifelong grudge against Wakatoshi, and you still haven’t given it up to this day.

“Attention! I would just like to thank everyone for coming tonight -”

Your dad’s booming voice is what breaks you out of your reverie, and you realize that you have been staring - glowering, really - at the object of your ire for far too long than what can be deemed normal.

An open bottle of Romanée-Conti rests on the countertop by his elbow, and his previously empty wineglass is now half-full, the deep red liquid catching the fluorescent lights as he idly swirls it around.

Much like his wine, there is also something swirling in his sharp eyes, but you neither need to or wish to know what it is. You let out a disgruntled huff before heading out to the living room, shooting him one final glare as you round the corner and disappear.

Wakatoshi sighs to the empty room before he too, decides to head on out and meet with Representative Semi - your and Eita’s father - to offer him his congratulations.

He finishes the drink in his hand, wine tasting oddly bittersweet as it goes down his throat, and as he exits the kitchen, he wonders for the nth time that night how come you seemed to hate him with such a passion.

He’s not stupid, not like the way everyone seems to think he is just because he’s blunt, but if it’s taken him this long to realize that your feelings towards him go much deeper than a simple dislike, then he thinks that he may never find out the real reason as to why.

The thought doesn’t deter him though, and when he catches sight of the back of your head while you talk animatedly to Oikawa Tooru, laughing your heart out as though you weren’t staring daggers at him just minutes ago, he thinks that he will gladly spend a lifetime figuring you out.

You are a mystery to him, and one that he will stop at nothing to crack.

[ note ] ― and there we have it! first time we’re meeting the cast, and if the overly zealous descriptions about ushi isn’t enough to display how whipped i am for him then probably nothing ever will. hope you all like this one as much as i loved writing it <3

also this is dedicated to @cafemiya for giving me the push i needed to make this entire series. hi issy i love you bae 🥺💖

#ushijima wakatoshi x reader #ushijima angst #ushijima fluff #ushijima x reader #ushijima wakatoshi #haikyuu x reader #hq ushijima #hq ushiwaka #haikyuu angst #haikyuu fluff #ushijima x you #草花 #hqradiostation #oikawa tooru #iwaizumi hajime #semi eita

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leafs-lover · 4 years ago

Text

We could be friends

A/N: This is a requested piece for Matthew Tkachuck. I struggled a bit, changing the intro a few times so I hope it flows well.

Summary: A few months after a breakup you go out with some of the Flames players for a couple drinks. You end up having a wild night with Matthew Tkachuk after you both admit to wanting this for a while.

Warnings: Drinking, swearing, mentions of cheating, smut, oral sex (male and female receiving), maybe something else?

Word Count: 6400

“Hanifin" you call out “you’re getting mic'd up tonight.”

He smiles while nodding to you and continues down the hall. You work for the flames as a member of the social media team, have for the past 4 and a half months. You don’t really know a lot of the players on a personal level, most of them make casual small talk with you.

Your interactions are kept relatively short, especially on game days. Players have a ritual, and you don’t want to intrude on their process. Beyond that you help with coordinating the media for team events, whether they are charity events or ones organized by the PR. During some of those events you get the opportunity to mingle a bit with the players, but as you are still at work you keep it professional.

After the game you are in the locker room unclipping the mic from Noah. Some players are conducting interviews while others have wandered off for a postgame treatment.

“You coming tonight?”

You aren’t sure if he is talking to you, even half full the room is buzzing; the boys are coming off a big win. You look up at the 6’3” defenseman who is easily 2 inches taller on his skates; he took his jersey off but waiting for the mic to come off to remove his chest protector before continuing. His light blue eyes stare down at you as he waits your response.

“Coming where?” you ask turning the mic off.

“A few of us were going to grab some drinks. Didn’t know if you were joining us” he explains.

“Nah (Y/N) doesn’t come out. I’ve tried as few times but she always scurries home to her boyfriend” Tkachuk jokes coming to his stall beside Noah’s.

Another reason why you don’t have any real relationships with the players is Mark. You have been dating for a while, and he is insecure about the fact that you work around all men, attractive men. If you spent some time outside the hockey rink you likely would have some knowledge on the boys besides their ridiculous nicknames for each other.

You haven’t wanted to cause any ripples so you never ventured out with the team. And honestly you weren’t too upset about it, after working a long day you enjoyed coming home and curling up in bed with Mark. But that all changed when you came home from the road trip a few weeks ago and found him in bed with Sarah, someone you thought was your good friend.

You shoot Matt a glance and turn back to Noah “you know I think I might come tonight” you say, turning around and walking away out of the locker room.

2 hours later you are sitting at the booth with a couple players. You quickly ran home after the game and touched up your makeup and changed into a pair of skinny jeans and your black long sleeve turtle neck. The bar is slightly casual but you don’t want to be under dressed so you throw on a pair of short heeled booties and a simple gold chain to dress it up.

A few of the older players and their significant others recently left as the time is encroaching on midnight. Some of the other players are scattered around the bar, you see Matt by the bar talking to a red head who is wearing a dress that is way too tight, and should likely have more fabric given the cool Calgary temperatures. She is laughing at one of his jokes, her hand lightly touching his forearm.

“He’s always like this” Noah says from across the table. “Makes a big deal about getting us out, team bonding and crap then wanders off never to be seen again.” You laugh hearing him say this and Noah gets up to go to the bathroom. You look down at your drink and see its basically melted ice at this point and get up heading to the bar.

As you wait for the bartender’s attention you feel a body brush up against you, you glace out the side of your eye and see light brown hair and immediately knowing who is there. The bartender walks over and you order another drink and Noah does too.

“So Matt said you have a boyfriend” he asks, you can tell he is just making small talk and doesn’t really know what to lead with.

“Uh we broke up” you respond.

“Oh, sorry to hear that.”

“Don’t be, he was a crappy boyfriend I just wish I saw it sooner” before you have a chance to continue talking and change the subject a body presses between the two of you throwing an arm over both your shoulders.

“I can’t believe we finally get you out, and you decide to drink that garbage. I know you didn’t drink a lot but come on, 15 year olds drink that. Thought you would have acquired some tolerance by now” Matt says mocking your safe beer choice. “No hard liquor, and you went for a light beer too.”

Without responding you flag the bartender down who walks up to you “can I get four tequila shots?”

You turn your attention back to Matt “I like the taste of beer. But I went to school for communication I learned how to handle my alcohol” you say throwing back one of the tequila shots with ease.

“No salt or lime?” Noah asks watching you.

“Don’t need training wheels” you reply handing each of the boys a shot.

“Nah I’m good. I learned a while ago not to drink that poison. Have fun” he jokes setting his shot down and walking away.

“Guess you have to take two” you say as Matt shifts more of his weight to you, his hand sliding down to your mid back. You look around him to the red head that is shooting you daggers as she watches her hard work begin to unravel. You chuckle slightly because you know you won’t be going home with Matt tonight, given the choice he would obviously take home the red head.

Matt throws the first shot back, making a face as it burns going down his throat. He sets the empty glass on the bar before pulling your face close to his mouth so he doesn’t have to yell over the music.

“Maybe you should give me the passcode for your phone. That way when you start puking in the bathroom I can call your boyfriend to come get you” he jokes taking a sip of his whiskey.

“I’ll be fine, besides your little friend won’t take too kindly to me handing you my phone. She already looks like she is going to kill me just for talking to you.” You pass him the second shot and you both cheers before throwing it back, feeling the liquid slide down your throat. Matt gently squeezes your waist, likely an involuntary response to the burning from the tequila.

“I’m not too worried about her” he says placing the glass on the counter and sliding his hand further down your back, his pinky an inch above your jeans. You begin to feel a fire ignite in your core, a feeling you haven’t felt in a while. You play it off as the tequila playing games on you, you’re reading into this. There is no way Matt is flirting with you, he likely hasn’t even noticed where his hand is resting.

“So is your boy out of town or something?” he asks. You shoot him a questioning glance “you never come out, figured if you are it’s because he is away and won’t know” he continues. You flag down the bartender and motion for three more shots.

You don’t answer instead you turn your body slightly to face the bar, but stick your ass out a bit. You immediately throw one of the shots back, wincing slightly at the burn. You feel Matt’s hand slide off your back before you speak “no he is in town I think.”

“You think?” he asks sliding up beside you, leaning on his arm against the bar.

“Well I stopped caring what he was doing or where he was going when we broke up” you explain looking up at his dirty blonde curls.

“Oh sorry to hear that” he says smirking.

“No you’re not” you laugh back at him.

“Yeah, break ups suck. If you need anything, I mean I know we don’t know each other that well…”

“I’ve been doing alright, and these tequila I put on your tab have also helped” you smile at him inching closer to him. “But it happened like almost 2 months ago, so I’m actually pretty good.

“Two months, how did you keep it a secret?”

“Well it happened right before Christmas, and after the break there was the road trip but I didn’t go on it. And then it was all-star break. Haven’t actually worked a lot, and we aren’t really that good of friends. I didn’t consider you a top priority in informing of my personal life” you explain taking another shot.

Matt stands at the bar, holding the shot in his hand. He sways it in his hands staring at you for a minute. “Maybe we can change that” he says taking the shot, placing the glass upside down on the bar.

“Change what?” you ask.

“Us not being friends, we could be friends” he says moving closer, his thigh pressing against you. You roll your eyes at him “why can’t we be friends? We can go shopping, grab lunch. Send some text messages, maybe see a movie every now and then” his mouth is inches from your ear. You feel your knees get weak, wetness pooling in your core as you breathe in his cologne.

“Matty” you hear someone calls from behind you. Matt steps away from you and turns his attention to the voice, you look over your shoulder even though you know who is there. Up close you notice how her boobs are practically popping from her dress, and she likely spent hours doing her hair and makeup.

“Yeah” he replies slightly annoyed.

She walks up to him and is practically pressed against you, pushing you out of the way trying to capture his attention.

“Want to do a shot?” she asks coyly.

“You know I think I’m good, we’ve already done a couple” he says eyeing over to you. The red head follows his gaze, shooting you a scowl.

“Well I think we we’re thinking of heading to another bar soon anyways. This place is getting kind of boring.”

“Oh well have fun” he says to her. You immediately see anger bubble in her face, you turn away so she doesn’t see you laugh.

“You don’t want to come?” she whines.

“No I think I’m going to stay and chat with my good friend (Y/N). You have a good night.” He turns his back to her and you hear her huff out a breath of air as her heels click away. Matt looks at you and see’s the large grin on your face and he shakes his head.

“I don’t know what was better. That little interaction or you calling me your good friend.” “We could be good friends, she doesn’t know” he retorts putting his elbows on the bar beside you. “So tell me friend why did you and your boyfriend break up?”

Your eyes narrow slightly as you stare at him “good friends know about each other’s relationships. Like as my good friend you know I am single.”

He stops talking waiting for your response “he slept with my good friend Sarah. Part of the reason I’m not looking for any more good friends at the moment” you reply.

“Well as your good friend I promise to not sleep with any guys you date” he says smiling.

“What if I date a girl?” you ask.

“I promise I won’t sleep with anyone you date, man or woman. No real friend would do that” he takes a slow sip of his whiskey. “You date woman too?” he asks.

“I have, yes” you take a sip. “As my friend do you have a problem with that?”

“Oh the contrary. As your friend I just want you to be happy.” You shake your head at him and chuckle “you sure you’re okay though being cheated on sucks.”

You stare up into his eyes and see concern and sincerity looking back at you, making you think maybe he has some experience with this. You were going to make some smart ass comment about what girl broke his heart but you feel maybe this isn’t something he wants to joke about.

“We were together just under two years but since we broke up I realized how much of myself I lost. Before him I had a lot of friends, guys and girls; but early on we got in some fights on about him being uncomfortable with me hanging out with my guy friends. He thought I wanted to sleep with some of them and I would cheat which is so ironic now” you take a slow sip of your beer before continuing. “I just didn’t want to cause problems with him, found it easier to just not see them to avoid a fight. I mean I shouldn’t have given up my friends, but I saw some of them at the holidays. I’m thankful all of my old friends, guys and girls, were willing to let me back in. But I haven’t been this happy in a while” you say smiling.

“Well that’s good, if you’re happy then I’m happy for you friend” he says playfully nudging you.

“Okay good friend, tell me some things you know about me” you joke.

He stares at you for a second “if we’re good friends you should know basic stuff like my birthday, where I’m from, favourite colour. I don’t know how we can be friends if all we know is the other person is single” you say smiling.

Matt’s eyes narrow, you can see the wheels turning in his brain as he takes a sip. He sets the empty glass on the bar, taking a deep breath. “Your favourite colour is (Y/F/C); you grew up in Calgary. You like tea instead of coffee, you love the show Friends, made obvious by your Friends mug and t-shirt you have rocked at the arena. You have a major sweet tooth, but not a big fan of salty, and prefer white to red wine.” He continues to ramble on a few more facts about you before you finally cut him off “how do you know all this?”

“You caught my attention on day one, but there is still lots I don’t know.”

You turn your head to him slightly “like what?” you ask him taking a sip.

He steps closer, his thigh pressing to the back of your legs “what it takes to make your toes curl. What it sounds like when you moan.”

You choke on your drink and start coughing as you try and capture your breath. “What?” you croak out.

You feel his hand return onto the small of your back, his pinky slides through your belt loop. You take a gulp as he grins, his mouth inches from your ear. “I have thought about this since the first day I saw you, what you look like under that shirt. What you taste like, what you feel like” he stops as a shiver runs down your spine.

His hand slips slightly further down, resting above your ass. “Tell me you haven’t thought of this and I will walk away right now, act as this never happened.”

You consider his words, and remember the first time you met him. The first time you saw him was in the locker room, he was in jeans and a tight black t-shirt.

“”This is the boys locker room” Sarah says opening the door. You walk in and see the back of a man who is standing at his locker, he has on a simple outfit with a backwards baseball cap. You can see his blond curls sticking out the sides of his hat, he hears people enter and quickly turns around.

“Oh sorry Matt I didn’t think anyone was in yet” Sarah explains as your eyes lock on his.

“Oh no worries I got her early to get my things set up. I don’t think anyone is supposed to be here for another hour” he explains smiling taking a few steps towards you.

“This is (Y/N), she is starting with social media and team engagement. I’m just giving her a tour of the building.”

“Nice to meet you, I’m Matt” he says sticking his hand out which you accept smiling back at him. You know who he is, and you’d be lying if you said you didn’t have a crush on him. Being a Flames fan your whole life you knew who the players were, but watching him on the ice the last couple years you developed a middle school crush on him. He skated around the rink with such ease and he seemed like someone who is fun to be around, someone who can make you laugh all the time.

Feeling his hand on yours, the same hands that you watch get in fights, makes you begin to wonder what else they can do. You imagine what his body would look like under his shirt, your juices running down his chin. You get lost in his eyes, and don’t realize you still are holding his hand until Sarah calls you to continue the tour. You shake your head and immediately release his hand, your cheeks going red.

Matt smirks at you, running his thumb on his chin “look forward to working with you” he calls out as you turn to hide your embarrassment.

Matt is still staring at you, a sideways smirk on his face waiting for you to respond. You quickly turn your head away and whisper a soft no.

“Really? The redness on your cheek says otherwise. It tells me I am right, you have thought of this” he says shooting you a devilish grin. His mouth is now inches from your ear “tell me when your home alone, lying in bed. And you slip your fingers, actually you probably have a vibrator or two”

“Or three” you whisper softly. Matt heard you because he groans before he continues “so when you turn on your vibrator and slide it in, what do you think of? What gets you going? When you fucked your ex whose face did you picture when you would cum?” he gives your ass a light squeeze, as you feel his warm breath on your neck. You are practically dripping at his words, but you wait knowing he isn’t done “I’ll be honest, I’ve thought of you over the past few months. We’ve had some great times in my mind.”

“So tell me, have you had to bite your lip from screaming my name?”

“No” you reply lightly knowing that isn’t the answer he is looking for. You feel him tense up but before he moves away, you continue “I didn’t have to, because Mark never made me…he never…” you pause for a minute, flustered and unsure of why you are telling him this.

“He never made you cum?” Matt growls in your ear and you just shake your head in response. You turn your head to look at him “if you let me I’ll make up for the shitty sex and-“ unsure what has come over you, you lean forward attaching your lips to his. His one hand firmly grips your ass while his other slides up to cup your face, your mouth opens allowing him more room.

You turn around in his arms, sliding your hand up to grab his bicep as your tongues dance in each other’s mouths. You feel a body nudge into you slightly and you suddenly become very aware you are making out with someone in the middle of the bar. You pull away gasping for air and whisper against his lips “take me home.”

Matt doesn’t respond instead he throws some bills on the bar quickly and pulls you out the door. You don’t even have time to zip up your coat on before he is opening the cab door and pushing you in. You slide across to the far seat and Matt crawls in sitting beside you. You smirk at him as you lean against the corner of the seat and door.

Matt tells the driver his address as the meter starts “there is a $50 tip if you keep your eyes on the road” he says, eyes dark with lust. Before you can respond he crawls over to you and slides his tongue back in your mouth, his hand slides up and down your stomach. This kiss is fast and passionate similar to the one in the bar, his hand slides under the fabric of the shirt and you pull away.

Your eyes go wide and Matt is smirking down at you. You shoot your eyes to the taxi driver “what if he looks” you whisper to him. Matt just smirks and sits up in the middle seat, pulling you to his lap.

“Can’t see anything now” he whispers before sucking on your neck. His hands are on your ass but are hidden from the driver thanks to your long coat. You rock your hips against him, feeling the outline of his bulge.

“Careful baby” he warns against your neck. You bite your lip as Matt begins nipping on your neck, you rock your hips more, getting closer to ensure Matt can feel it through the jeans.

“Last warning” he hums in your ear sucking on your ear lobe. This doesn’t stop you, in fact it encourages you to keep going. Matt’s hands come around to the front of your jeans and quickly undo the button and zipper. He brings his lips up to yours and starts kissing you, when you feel him shove his hand inside.

He pushes your soaked underwear to the side and thrusts two fingers inside of you. You pull back and take a gasp of air “I warned you babygirl” he chuckles as his fingers begin to move inside of you. You burry your head into the crook of his neck as he continues to pump his fingers inside of you “can’t wait until we get home” he whispers. His thumb begins to press circles on your clit as his other hand massages your breast.

“Can’t wait until I get to hear you scream” he sucks on your neck increasing the pace of his fingers. You feel your orgasm quickly approaching, maybe because it’s been so long since another person has given you one, or it’s the tequila shots. Or it’s the fact that you’re in public with a stranger mere feet from you, something you never imagined yourself doing. Maybe it’s a combination but all you know is your orgasm is seconds away.

“Matt please” you whisper likely a little too loud.

He instead kisses your jaw “you gonna cum” he whispers. Unable to respond you nod and his fingers increase their pace. You grip Matt’s waist and bite his shoulder to try and supress your moans as he pumps you through it. You feel your walls spasm as liquid spills out coating his fingers, when you finish you rest your forehead on his shoulder and take a deep breath.

You feel his hand come out of your jeans as he gives your ass one final squeeze “we’re here.”

You look around and realize you were unaware the taxi had stopped, and you don’t even know how long you have been stopped. You roll off Matt as he pulls a $100 out of his wallet for the $20 fare. You jump out of the taxi, Matt quickly behind you. You stop on the sidewalk and attempt to do up your pants as his hands wrap around you “don’t bother, they’ll be on my floor in 2 minutes.”

Before you can react he pulls you inside to the elevator. You pull your coat in front of you, so nobody would know as you feel your cheeks flush. The doors ding close and Matt walks over standing in front of you. He gently lifts your head up to look at him “you okay?” he gently asks. ”We don’t have to do anything. I have a spare room, I can drive you home in the morning. Whatever you’re comfortable with, if it’s too soon since –“

“No it’s not that, I just can’t believe I did that. I let you finger me in a taxi, I had an orgasm and he was less than a foot away, I just can’t believe-“

“Hey” Matt says lightly kissing your forehead “first of all it was super-hot; like super-hot. I have never done anything like that before but fuck that was incredible. Two he received a very generous tip, and he could have kicked us out at any point. Besides I doubt he heard anything, you bit me pretty hard; I don’t think any sounds came out.”

You smile up at him, feeling more at ease so you lean in and kiss him. “It was a heat of the moment, next time I promise to wait until were in my apartment; assuming you want a next time.”

“At least a room with a lock on the door” you joke kissing him before the elevator dings for his floor.

“Deal” he says taking your hand and leading you down the hall. He unlocks the door and helps you out of your coat. You unzip your boots as Matt looks at you “want a drink or anything?”

You just smile and shake your head, walking towards him closing the gap between you. You jump up into his arms, he catches you with ease as he chuckles. You look into his eyes, fingers running through his curls “I want to see your bed” you say attaching your mouth to his neck.

Matt grans and carries you down the hall, stopping for a minute to turn on the bedroom light then he drops you on the bed. He grabs your ankles and pulls your jeans off your legs. A devilish grin spreads on his face before he crawls onto the bed and opens your legs. He smiles seeing the wetness in your underwear, as he hooks a finger into them pulling them down your legs.

He lies down on the bed, placing your legs over his shoulders and begins to lick some of the juices that remain from the taxi ride. “Fuck” he mumbles licking you clean “better than I imagined.” His mouth begins places kisses on your pussy, causing your legs to squirm slightly. His tongue slides inside your walls and begins to lick the inside of you.

His tongue begins flicking the inside of your pussy, your back arches off the mattress while Matt chuckles below you. He throws an arm over your waist pinning you to the bed. Your hands slide down to his hair, firmly tangling in them as his tongue continues exploring inside you.

His tongue becomes more intense pressing inside of you; he licks circles on your clit, your legs tightening around his head. You try to grind your hips, searching for more friction but he has you pinned down and laughs at your attempts.

“Keep it up and I’ll tie you to the bed” he growls before diving back in. He begins to suck on your clit for a minute before switching it with his thumb. He begins pressing circles on you as his tongue slides back inside.

Your moans become louder as your second high approaches. Your body tenses and you jolt slightly before your pussy spasms, warm liquid spills out as Matt continues to fuck you with his tongue. Matt slows his tongue as you finish, he pulls away looking up at you; your juices covering his mouth and chin.

Matt puts your legs back on the bed, and sits on his heels pulling his shirt off, exposing his hard chiseled chest. You take him in, trying to catch your breath as he pulls his jeans off leaving him in his boxers. You can see his obvious bulge, straining the fabric waiting to be released. Matt leans down engaging you in a kiss, you can taste yourself on him, as your hands wander his bare back.

His hand slides under your shirt and pulls it over your head exposing your breasts. He leans down placing soft kisses on your stomach while his hand slips behind you undoing your clasp leaving you naked.

“Fuck you’re gorgeous” he says attaching his mouth to your breast and swirls his tongue around your nipple. You bring your hands down to the elastic of his boxer, and start to push them down his thighs, Matt helps and throws them on the floor.

You feel him line his cock up with your entrance, his tip grazing your folds. His mouth alternates sucking and nipping your neck and collarbone as he leans over to reach in the bedside table to pull out a condom. He pulls away when you reach up and grab the wrapper, placing it on the table. Matt looks confused as he stares down at you, but you have to have him in your mouth first so you push him on his back and straddle him.

You rock your hips over his hard dick a couple times before sliding down his thighs, your index finger runs down his abs to his treasure line. Finally you look down at Matt and your jaw drops a blush coming over your cheeks. Matt is average or maybe slightly longer than average but he is thick, you can tell he will destroy you, but that’s a problem for later.

You drop your head down and lick up his shaft, placing a kiss on his tip. Matt moans under you as you bring a hand and lift his cock sliding it in your mouth, gagging slightly as you taste his salty precum. You swirl your tongue around the tip as you bob on him, eventually taking him all in.

As he hits the back of your throat you gag again but keep going, bringing your hand up to massage his balls. You feel some spit begin to dribble down your chin, while Matt brings his hands to your hair. You expect him to pull it away from your face but instead he Matt pulls you off of him.

“I promised to make up for the shitty sex you’ve been having. That I wanted to make your toes curl while you screamed my name.” A pout comes across your face and Matt just laughs grabbing the condom and sliding it on, “if you keep doing that I won’t last.” He pulls you down for a kiss, and tries to push you on his back but you stop him “I want to ride you” you whisper pulling away.

“Fuck” Matt mumbles lining himself up with your folds. You quickly drop down, moaning loudly as you feel your walls being stretched by his width. You don’t give yourself time to adjust, you rise up almost completely and drop back down a few times.

“Jesus babe, you could have taken a moment” he moans putting his hands on your hips.

You place your right hand on his abs “I was worried if I waited I would get scared by the size” you joke setting a fast pace.

Matt’s hands grip your hips tightly as he fucks up into you “you’re so tight babe” he groans while you roll your hips on him. You feel your walls stretch around his thick cock, his fingers digging into your hips leaving marks.

Your breasts bounce up and down as you ride Matt as you increase the pace. He slaps your ass “fuck I’m not gonna last” he groans pulling your face down to kiss you. You feel your orgasm approaching and moan into the kiss .

“You close babygirl” he asks against your lips. Instead of responding, you slide your hands to his hair and kiss him. Matt keeps the pace, fucking up into you, pulling you down onto his cock with every thrust.

“Matt” you moan, knowing you are close.

“Cum for me (Y/N). I need you to cum for me” he moans becoming sloppy under you.

He slaps your ass one more time causing you to yelp as your walls tighten around him. You scream his name and a mixture of curse words as you spasm around him.

“Fucking hell” you hear Matt mumble before he spills inside the condom deep inside your cervix. You collapse on top of him and lie there for a minute. He gently runs his hands through your hair while both of your breathing steadies. Finally you pull yourself onto your forearms and look at Matt. He gently runs his finger up your arm as he softly kisses you.

“That was amazing” you mumble against his lips.

“Mhm” he hums rolling you onto your back and slowly pulling out. You whine at the empty feeling while Matt chuckles, leaving for the bathroom. You hear the shower start and Matt comes back to the room pulling you up from the bed so you are sitting on your heels. His hands slide around you to your back, and firmly grip your ass as he pulls you against his sweaty chest. Your hands tangle in his wet curls as you pull him in for a kiss “your sweaty” you joke attempting to push him off.

He pulls you in close, your breasts pressed into his chest. He dips down slightly and picks you up carrying you to the shower. He sets you down and steps into the warm stream, running his hands through his hair. Matt walks up behind you, and kisses your neck.

“So did I make up for all the shitty sex you were having?” he asks.

“I feel like one amazing night doesn’t make up for almost two years of crappy sex” you say laughing. “Probably have to do it one or ten more times.” Matt laughs in your ear kissing your shoulder “sounds good.”

You push your ass back against his semi-hard penis and he moans. Matt mumbles a fuck as you stand up straight letting the water hit you. You feel his hands on your waist as he presses his dick between your as cheeks; his mouth sucks on your earlobe.

“(Y/N)” he moans as you grind your hips back, feeling him harder behind you. “You have any idea what you do to me?” he growls. You turn your head and look at him, water is running down his chest “I have an idea” you moan. You reach behind you, and grip his shaft and begin stroking it up and down “you have any idea what this does to me?”

“I need you Matt” you whisper kissing him.

Matt steps away and opens the door, grabbing condom from the vanity drawer. He quickly rolls it on himself and he steps back behind you, placing a hand on your back. You feel him push inside, stretching your walls, as you brace yourself on the bench.

Matt uses a knee to spread your legs wider, pulling out and pushing back in. You cry out as he hits you deep, ramming into your cervix. His hands move to your hips and use them to pull you back against him. He pulls almost completely out, pulling your hips back and slamming back inside of you.

“Fuck” you cry out.

“God you feel so good” Matt mumbles setting a fast pace.

One hand leaves your hip and slaps your ass, as you jolt forward wincing at the pain. His hand returns to your hip, and continues to thrust in and out of you.

“You’re so fucking tight” he groans. The sound of skin flapping and moans fill the bathroom as he keeps his pace. He spreads your ass cheeks wider, pumping in and out of you. His thumb grazes over the entrance to your hole, while you whimper under him.

“You gonna cum for me?” he asks drawing a grunt from you, unsure if you can have another.

“I know you can. Do it for me” he growls behind you. You bring a hand down to your sensitive bud and start pressing circles on it, as Matt’s hand strokes your ass.

Matt’s pace is fast and erratic; you can tell he is close while he hits you at a deep angle, hitting your g-spot with every thrust.

“Come on baby” he cries out behind you. You know he is straining to keep going, waiting for you. You press hard circles into your bud; Matt bends his knees changing the angle slightly. Your walls begin to tighten as you clench around him. An intense orgasm rips through as Matt keeps his pace.

“Fuck Matt” you moan, your eyes roll back into your head. You feel Matt’s dick twitch, as he spills inside the condom. Matt stills behind you, you take a deep breath. Matt’s hand caresses your back for a moment as he finally pulls out. You turn around and sit on the bench while Matt steps out to throw away the condom.

He returns to the shower, adjusting the temperature to have more hot water. He grabs your hands and pulls you to your feet; you fall against his chest as he strokes your hair. Your arms wrap around his waist, bracing yourself on him.

You feel him put some shampoo in your hair, lathering it in before gently washing it out. He gently applies body wash to you before rinsing it, you lean against the wall as he completes the process on himself. He turns the water off, kissing you and opening the door to wrap a towel around you. He puts on a pair of boxers, and pulls a t-shirt over your head.

Your eyes are heavy as you stand in his bathroom, leaning against his vanity. Matt chuckles kissing your cheek, he carefully scoops you up and carries you to his bed. He gently lies you down and pulls you into his chest, while pulling the duvet up your chest. You listen to his breathing and slowly begin to doze off.

#matthew tkachuk #Matthew Tkachuk smut #Matthew Tkachuk Fic #Matthew Tkachuk X reader #matt tkachuk #Matt Tkachuk Smut #Matt Tkachuk Fic #nhl smut #nhl fic

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writing-with-olive · 4 years ago

Text

Tracking goals with a bulletin board instead of a planner

I don't know how helpful this is going to be to everyone, but switching away from using a planner was an absolute GAME CHANGER, so I'm going to share my system because it's not as intuitive as a planner, but at least for me, it's much more effective.

This got kinda long(ish) so the following is under the cut:

why I switched from using a planner to using a bulleting board

what kind of goals I set with this system

measuring success

how it actually works (how to set it up, and use it to actually track goals)

affordability (spoiler alert: it’s better than most planners)

First of all, why did I switch?

My biggest issue with using a planner was that I wasn't seeing my goals often enough. In the closed pages of a book, they are very nicely hidden, and goals I can't see are goals that don't exist. This took me, oh..... five years to realize (starting when I first tried setting and tracking goals), but once I did, everything suddenly made sense. As far as I can tell, the more often you're interacting with your goals, the more likely you are to complete them.

What kind of goals do I set?

I track goals quarterly, which means I set new goals at the start of every three months (January, April, July, October). This is pretty effective, as I can set ambitious enough goals that I have to actually work to meet them, but there's enough space for setbacks like "I don't wanna" and "Oh look! Life!" without completly obliterating my chances of being able to finish. Quarterly goals are also pretty standard, at least for corporate America (idk about elsewhere, but it seems fairly likely).

In terms of content, I set several goals for the following catagories:

school/academics (if you don't go to school, work-based goals could go here instead)

social media and writing (most of my social media presence revolves around writing, so I kinda lump them together)

personal/private goals (home-based, tasks that I need to set aside more time to do, family, etc)

self care/habits I want to build (take a walk daily, eat breakfast, screentime limits, read books, etc)

This quarter, I have five for each section, which means twenty goals overall. That's a lot. (I'll get to my metric of success in a sec) The benifit though, is that pretty much all of the most important parts of my life are accounted for, meaning that it's not about making time for my goals, it's about structuring my day so that the bulk of it focuses on one goal or another. Whenever I'm bored, I can see what I have on my goals list, and I'm usually able to find something that's interesting to me in the moment. (This method of spreading out goals to cover multiple facets of my life is heavily inspired by Jenna Moreci's goalsetting method)

How does success work?

(The stuff above was adapted from Jenna Moreci. This part is lifted wholesale from what she does.) I have a lot of goals. Because of that, it's pretty unlikely that I'm going to be able to complete all of them, and setting that expectation is a great way to end up failing, and lacking the motivation to do much of anything. Therefore, a successful quarter is completing at least 50% of the set goals. It's still a challenge - I still have to complete 10 goals in 12 weeks, but it's doable. A success is listed as a win, whereas not completing 50% is a loss. Since I am a competitive person by nature, putting it in a win/lose dichotomy is an excellent motivator.

This is great and all, but how do you actually set it up?

Okay this is the fun stuff! So it would seem like the board would get pretty crowded pretty quick, but it actually doesnt.

I do all of my tracking on notecards. Each card holds five goals on them, which I write in pen, and I mark my progress by highlighting a progress bar on top of the row I've written my goal on. This means I can tell at a glance what goals I have the most or least progress on, and approximately how far I have left to go. I don't have to get bogged down by writing out fractions/percentage completion, which would definitely clutter things up.

To set my board up overall, I used string to block out four columns, each with header labels: Quarter, Week, Day, and Other.

The quarter column is where I list all of my goals I've set without breaking it down into little pieces. I have four notecards in this section, each with five goals apiece. It's the way I track how far I am toward completing the whole goal. Since some goals take most of the quarter to complete, I only update the progress bars once a week.

The week column also has five notecards, but broken down into pieces I can accomplish in a seven-day period. Usually, I set it up, so that the goals on each card directly correspond to the goals on the quarter goal card to it's direct left. You can mix and match which goals you work on any given week, but it's effective for both keeping everything organized, and also for making sure I'm not neglecting anything. I also make sure to label each of the week goals what it's the week of (for example [W- Mar 4] would indicate that this is a weekly goal card, and also that it's the week of March 4th). This is useful in case I want to go back and see what I was up to at any given time.

The day column looks a little different in that there are only two notecards. This is to help limit what what volume I'm trying to take on, because one of the biggest demotivaters is seeing a giant pile of work and knowing there's no way to finish it in the time you've got. Usually, I align the first card with the top row established by my quarter/weekly goals, and I write out five things I want to achieve during the day based off what I've written in my top two weekly goal cards. The other card is on the third row, and corresponds to the third and fourth weekly goal cards. As a very strict rule, I don't give myself more than four hours of work each day (this excludes going to class). I've experimented with other timeframes, and I've found going over that number means my chances of doing what I've set out to do plummet if I assign myself more.

The Other section is where I keep all of my past week/day notecards. On top, I have my weekly goal notecards in one of those triangular paper clamp thingys (I have been informed that these are technically referred to as binder clips), organized in chronological order, with the most recent at the front. Below that, I have my daily goals. This way, I have my progress easily accessible (this comes in useful for proving that yes, I did do the dishes three times last week and yes, it's your turn)

How affordable is it?

Actually really affordable. Yes, it takes up more wall space, but you can get a bulletin board for about $20-$45 depending on where you shop (sometimes they cost more, but usually you can find one in the given range). Notecards cost on average about $3-$4 per 100 card pack (which lasts about two months if you use front and back). Thumbtacks cost about two to three dollars, and a small ball of yarn costs about three to seven dollars. This means tracking for the first quarter costs about $35-$60 dollars, but every quarter following is between $4 and $7.

For comparison, most quarterly planners, cost about $25-$35 dollars per quarter.

Over a year, that adds up to:

$50 - $80 for a bulletin board tracker

$100 - $140 for quarterly planners

Over two years, it adds up to

$65 - $100 for a bulletin board tracker

$200 - $280 for quarterly planners

Anyway, that got pretty long, but maybe it'll be helpful to you!

#writeblr #goalsetting #productivity #writers on tumblr #time management #quarterly goals #studyblr #academia #school #work #corporate america #completing goals #bulletin board #smart goals #highlighter progress bar #affordability #win lose system #olive's writing vibes

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