#anyways i will see what the nonsense generator can cook up

[lixenn]

Progress report

I recently had a new idea for a guide chapter, which hurray! However this one might require more worldbuilding so I will need to figure that out.

However!

In my document sorting I also found the beginning of another chapter which... I completely forgot about lmao

So I will try to work on this one first and see how it goes. Maybe I will update in the next few days, it depends if my muse is generous or not.

I'm excited going back to writing the Guide, I missed the sillyness and Chief being a super dramatic bitch.

[ersatz-ostrich]

A Sweet Discovery

Connor & gn!reader, RK900 & gn! reader

help why is the gif ENORMOUS

Analyzing… Analysis complete. Conclusion: delicious. Connor and Nines try jam for the first time.

[A/N]: WELCOME BACK EVERYBODY! I BRING CONTENT

After seeing fanart on Pinterest of tiny Connor and tiny RK900 trying jam for the first time, I had an idea that really spiraled out of control (if the word count says anything lol). Although the word 'jam' only appears 45 (!) times during this fic, I swear I've typed it out so many times that the word's become surreal to me. Like, jam, jam, jam...um, what does 'jam' mean again? Anyways...

read here on ao3

You stirred the bubbling pot on your stove, humming pleasantly. It was a lazy Saturday in the peak of summer, and you had decided to spend your free time trying your hand at canning what was abundant and in season instead of rotting on your couch or in bed. Various ingredients and equipment were strewn about your kitchen—a colander, a large jar of sugar from the pantry, cutting boards, and boxes on boxes of fruit. Alongside your pot of jam-to-be, you had set another pot of water to boil with glass jars in it to sterilize them. 

You stirred away, mind drifting, until you were pulled back to the present by the chime of your doorbell. Your head turned to the screen set up on your counter, where you saw through the footage of your doorbell camera two androids and a large Saint Bernard waiting politely at your front door. Grinning, you departed from your post at the stove momentarily to hit the button to let them in. 

“Come on in, you guys!” You called out from the kitchen. The lock clicked, and Connor let himself in, followed by Nines.

“Good morning, Y/N.” Connor piped up first. “What are you doing?”

“Well, I wanted to do something useful with my time off, so I decided to make some jam.” In a most Connor-like fashion, he tilted his head, curious. While Sumo settled contentedly on the carpet in your living room, you beckoned the androids into your sunny kitchen. “So, what brings you two here?”

“We were walking Sumo and passed by your home.” While you only lived a few blocks from Hank, you found it interesting that they had chosen to show up unannounced. “I thought we should pay you a visit.” He gave you an easy half-smile, something that had become more and more common as he grew accustomed to deviancy.

“Are we intruding? If so, we’ll be on our way—”

“Nonsense, Nines, of course you can stay,” You waved him off as you agitated the bubbling jam on the stove, which was coming along nicely. “I’m not doing anything particularly important right now. Have you two ever had jam?”

“Jam, as in…fruit cooked and preserved in sugar and other additives?” Nines inquired. “I’m afraid not, Detective. We were designed to analyze samples of organic matter from crime scenes. Jam, so far, has not been one of those samples.” You chuckled at his response. 

“Well, would you like to?” You pulled the glass jars out of the pot of water and onto an awaiting towel with a pair of tongs, all while stirring your jam. “I’ve got some blueberry jam in those jars on the kitchen table.” You reached for your utensil drawer and handed a spoon to Connor. “Try it.”

Connor took the spoon and eyed the jars on your kitchen table, LED spinning. Taking the lid off of one, he spooned out a generous dollop of the dark purple substance, which stuck to the spoon and slid off lazily when he put the spoon in his mouth. 

Silence passed over you and the androids; the only sounds in the kitchen were the burbling of your jam and your spoon scraping against the walls of the pot as you watched Connor’s LED glow a bright, whirling yellow. 

The moment the jam hit Connor’s sensor-studded tongue, his processors were flooded with input. He dropped the hand holding the spoon, and the spoon fell out of his mouth and clattered onto the table. Flavor, or as much flavor as a deviant android like himself could sense, bloomed on his tongue and sent pleasant sparks coursing through his artificial nervous system. The data came flowing in as his LED continued to spin; he detected a delicious bouquet of volatile aromatic compounds and acids, no doubt from the fruit, and a torrent of carbohydrates. If he had possessed any human taste buds, he would have registered the taste of the jam as tart, sweet, and delicious.

With astonishing speed, Connor snatched up the spoon from the table, scooped out a helping of the jam, and unceremoniously shoved it into his successor’s mouth.

Nines’s LED flashed red as Connor insistently jammed ; then yellow as he processed the data he was receiving from analyzing the jam in his mouth; and then, finally, pulsing blue as he began to appreciate the jam’s agreeable taste. 

“It is…interesting.” Nines spoke when Connor finally removed the spoon from his mouth. “I have never analyzed anything like it before.”

“Yes, but how is it?” You asked. “Do you like it?”

“I cannot determine whether or not I like the data I receive from analyzing samples, Detective.” Nines cracked a small smile. “But…I would say that the sensory stimulation I received from tasting the jam was pleasant.” Upon hearing his comments, you beamed, glad to have been given the RK900 seal of approval. 

“It sounds to me like you like the jam, Nines! I’m glad.” You smiled softly as the androids chatted over the kitchen table. It was so gratifying to help androids like Connor and Nines experience things both mundane and complex without the restraints of their Cyberlife programming. Something so simple as blueberry jam, you realized, could brighten their day.

“Are these blueberries from upstate? Blueberries are currently in season in Michigan.” Connor inquired.

“Yeah, I got them from Rose’s Farm outside of Detroit. They let you pick your own blueberries and the price is pretty great for the freshness and quantity you get.” You knocked your spoon against the rim of the pot to let your now-finished jam drip off and transferred your pot onto a square pot holder to cool. Connor raised his brows upon hearing you mention the farm owned by Rose Chapman, whom he knew to have harbored deviants leading up to the day the androids had won their freedom. He had first learned of the woman from a group of androids from Jericho, not long after he had become a deviant.

“I see,” Connor mused. “Is this your first time making jam?” 

“No, it isn’t. I definitely wasn’t this good the first time around.” You laughed sheepishly, taking some jars off of your kitchen counter and presenting them to the two androids. “See, this one’s started fermenting. I noticed when I opened the jar today and it smelled off. I think I didn’t sterilize my jar right or something,” You explained. Connor dipped a spoon in the deep red jam. After a brief analysis, he determined the failed jam to be contaminated strawberry preserves.

“You are correct. I detect trace amounts of alcohol in this sample from fermentation,” He replied after a second. “I also detect a certain strain of mold. These preserves should not be consumed.”

“Yeah, I’m going to dump it. Try this one,” You held out another jar of strawberry preserves. Visually, Connor couldn’t tell what was wrong with it at first until he stuck the spoon in the jar and realized that the consistency was too thick.

“The sugars in these preserves have caramelized,” Connor concluded. 

“I kinda…screwed up and burned my preserves.” Out of the corner of your eye, you saw Nines reaching into the utensil drawer for a spoon to sample the contaminated strawberry preserves.

“If you would not like to waste these strawberry preserves, Detective, I could take it. Androids are not affected by mold contamination or fermentation.” He began.

“You sure? That stuff’s gonna grow some pretty gross mold colonies after some time,” You responded, wrinkling your nose. “I have a better idea. Why don’t you take some of the jam I just made? I have so much jam in my house right now and I don’t know what I’m going to do with all of it.” You screwed the lid on the blueberry jam Connor and Nines had tried and pressed it into the RK900’s hands. “Oh, and—” You hurried back to the kitchen counter to pour out some of the jam you just made into one of the sterilized jars you had left to dry. “—take this, too. It’s raspberry jam.” You handed the warm glass jar to Connor, who accepted it enthusiastically.

“Thank you, Detective. I—we appreciate your generosity.” Nines replied, pleased.

“I can’t wait to try your raspberry jam. I’m sure it’s delicious,” Connor added.

“You’re too kind, both of you.” You laughed cheerily, walking with them into the living room where Sumo raised his head to greet you. “I’ve got plenty more fruit to preserve, but I don’t want you two to keep Hank waiting for too long.” With Sumo’s leash in one hand and a jar of jam cradled carefully in the other, Connor waved goodbye and stepped out the front door. Nines followed suit, nodding politely at you.

“Thank you for showing us something new, Detective. Thanks to you, I feel like I have expanded my horizons greatly since becoming deviant.”

“It was my pleasure, Nines. You’re welcome to stop by anytime.”

“Hey, whatcha eatin’, Tin Can?” 

“Blueberry jam, Detective.” Spoon still hanging out of his mouth, Nines offered the jar to Gavin. “My filtration system can only handle about a spoonful every now and then, but I enjoy the taste. Would you like some?” The abrasive detective inspected the jar with a critical eye.

“Fuck, who put you on human food?”

“Detective L/N.” Nines answered placidly. “L/N is very good at making jams.”

“Shit, is that where Connor got his jar of jam from?” asked Hank, stopping by Nines and Gavin’s desks on his way back from the breakroom. “The one he keeps on his desk alongside a spoon. I catch him eating spoonfuls of the jam from time to time.” Nines nodded.

“Well, I’ll be damned,” Gavin muttered. “Androids eating jam. What’s next? Donuts?”

While Gavin’s speculations did not become a reality, Connor and Nines continued to enjoy the simple pleasure of homemade jam. It wasn’t long until their android brother Sixty discovered it, and he responded with equal enthusiasm for the stuff.

Noticing their newfound habit of shoving jam-coated spoons in their mouths during lulls in work at the precinct or after visiting particularly gruesome crime scenes, you continued bringing them different flavors of jams and preserves for them to try. What had been your way of killing time at home had become a full-fledged hobby.

“They’re my android guinea pigs,” You joked to anyone who asked. “They’re the first in line every time I experiment with a new recipe.”

Finally, after Connor had turned up on your doorstep to return emptied-out jars for the umpteenth time, you decided to teach him how to make his own jam. 

“Look, I’m not saying that I don’t want to make jam for you guys anymore. I just think you’d like it if you tried making it yourselves,” You explained. “I’m sure you can download some executable that magically gives you culinary skills through the power of software, but you’ll still need practice, right?” 

“I’m not sure, Detective—” Connor replied uneasily. “I was not built for domestic work, but I will try.” He had elected to wear an apron as you walked him through the process, and you couldn’t help but smile at the sight of Connor standing in your kitchen wearing a red gingham apron over his impeccably neat clothes. He was eager to learn, a trait you had always liked. What he had once called “Cyberlife’s social integration module” had made him adaptable, open-minded, and a great listener. 

You had invited Connor into your kitchen on a sunny Saturday morning, much like the morning Connor and Nines had first tasted blueberry jam. By noon, he was strolling back to Hank’s place with a spring in his step, carrying a box that rattled with glass jars of his own preserves. 

Making jam soon became Connor’s new favorite hobby. He enjoyed the endless variation in recipes and tasting things other than forensic evidence. You started seeing jars of jam mysteriously popping up on your desk every couple of weeks. When you asked Hank if Connor was the jam fairy behind the gifts on your desk, the lieutenant feigned ignorance.

Connor was also able to branch out into the android community of Detroit. He began to frequent the android-populated New Jericho neighborhood that had formed after the government acknowledged androids’ personhood, where he met current and former employees of the Detroit Urban Farms project and other androids with green thumbs. They exchanged the produce they grew for the preserves he made, which they sold at a farmer’s market downtown. Connor declined a share of the profits, saying that he wanted to support the burgeoning android community with his hobby. He was building a life for himself that he had never expected to have when he was a machine, and that was enough for him.

As for Nines, his newfound sweet tooth led him to discover a different interest. On his days off, he liked to explore the city in which he was assembled. On one of his walks, he discovered a candy shop on a street corner a few paces away from Bellini Paints. There, he was introduced to the delights of various different candies. Soon enough, he couldn’t go anywhere without stashing a fistful of lemon drops or hard caramels in the pocket of his raincoat or suit jacket. His coworkers—especially his partner Gavin—found the sight of Cyberlife’s most advanced investigator android and (former) killing machine licking contentedly at a heart-shaped lollipop jarring, intimidating even. However, his penchant for hard candy endeared him to the children he encountered in his line of work—scared, stressed children who would have previously cowered away from his imposing figure and piercing stare. 

One time, Officer Miller had brought in a sandy-haired, freckled five-year-old boy who had been separated from his parents while attending a large parade. The child had wandered the streets for the whole day. The officer had found him sitting by himself on a park bench, teary-eyed. 

Upon taking him back to the precinct, the child was inconsolable, crying until his tears dried up and continuing to tremble and whimper softly for his parents. Nines, who had just returned from the scene of a crime, noticed the boy sitting on a bench across the hall from the bullpen and being attended to by an ST300-model receptionist. Nines locked eyes with the android.

How is he doing? The ST300’s LED flickered yellow as she responded,

Not very well. He hasn’t stopped crying.

I’ll see what I can do.

Nines crouched down to reach the gaze of the boy’s stormy, downcast eyes. He produced a lollipop from a pocket in his jacket, unwrapped it, and offered it to the boy.

“It’s blueberry-flavored,” Said Nines. “Blueberry is my favorite flavor. What’s yours?” The boy sniffled and jammed the treat in his mouth.

“O-orange.”

“That’s a good choice,” Nines replied with a smile. His usually stoic, frosty expression softened. “I have a brother who makes the best orange marmalade ever.” He took a seat beside the boy. 

“I a-always wanted a b-brother,” The boy hiccuped. “B-but Mommy and Daddy are g-gone, a-and—” His hiccups turned into sobs. Nines let the boy lean on him, placing a comforting hand on the boy’s shoulder. 

“Shh, it’s okay,” Nines whispered. “You’re safe here. Everything will be alright. Everything will be just fine. We’ll find your parents, I promise.” Even if it takes Cyberlife’s most advanced android to track them down. He continued murmuring soothing affirmations to the boy, whose shoulders stopped shuddering as his sobs quieted.

We just confirmed that the boy matches the description of a missing child that was reported earlier today. His parents are on the way, Connor silently informed Nines from his desk.

Understood , Nines replied. He and the child lapsed into a comfortable silence as the misty-eyed boy continued to suck on the lollipop.

“What’s your name?” Nines asked the boy.

“Luke.”

“It’s nice to meet you, Luke. My brothers call me Nines.” 

“That’s a weird name,” Luke blurted.

“My coworker, Gavin, thinks so, too.” Nines replied, side-eyeing the detective, who was idling in the bullpen. “You know, Luke, brothers are a handful. I have two—I’m the youngest.”

“Really?”

“Yes. They’re always up to something and I have to stop them from getting themselves into trouble.” Nines chuckled softly as some of his android predecessors’ antics came to mind. “My big brother, Connor, is the one who makes jam. Tell you what, I bet I can get him to make orange marmalade just for you.”

“Yeah?” Luke raised his gaze to meet Nines’s.

“A big jar, all for you.” A wide grin broke onto Luke’s cherubic face.

“I love orange mara-” Luke frowned. “Marmam-”

“Marmalade,”

“I love orange marmalade!” Luke giggled.

From the bullpen, Tina and the other officers craned their necks from where they were stationed at their desks to get a good view of Nines giving a rare, bright smile as the boy clung to his arm.

“Who knew Mr. Thirium-Pump-of-Ice was so good with kids?” Tina whispered to Gavin.

“I dunno,” Gavin whispered back. “If he didn’t act like such a stuck-up prick all the time, maybe more people would approach him. Kids included.”

“The RK900 is equipped with a social module similar to that of the RK800 line,” Connor piped up. “His software is capable of adapting to the behavior of children, including consol-”

“We get it, Connor!” Gavin whisper-shouted. 

“I think it’s kinda cute,” You offered. “Even though he’s deviant, Nines doesn’t show us this side of him often.” 

“Aww. Maybe Nines is a softy after all.” Ben joked. 

“Ooh, don’t let him hear that, Collins. You’re ruining his street cred.” Gavin retorted.

While the officers watched on, as discreet as a zebra at a horse show, Luke willingly climbed into Nines’s arms and let him carry him out to the precinct lobby where his parents were waiting anxiously. Just before he exited the bullpen, Nines cast a glance at Connor, LED flashing yellow. Connor’s LED flashed likewise.

“Connor? What’s up?” You asked as the RK800 stared off into the distance. 

“You wouldn’t happen to know where I can get some good oranges, would you, Detective?”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~end or something idk~~~~~~~~~

[A/N]: I initially wanted Nines or Sixty to discover honey/take up beekeeping after discovering jam/fruit preserves...but then I realized that bees are extinct in Detroit: Become Human :( hope you guys liked this little tangent! until next time x

let me know if you want to be part of my general taglist!

[hannahlovesluca]

Hi!!Can i ask for LUXIEM(or just ike) hcs with an s/o who's just insanely good at suika or puyo puyo even though they just played the game once or twice?:D

i had to write this ASAP i love writing ab reader playing games LMAOO

Luxiem + S/O who’s good at Suika

• he’s mediocre at suika, so normally he wouldnt join any tostus while the other is playing (i hardly see him join totsus in general so-)

• however if its YOU whos hosting any kind of tostu or just anything, HES JOINING INBA HEARTBEAT

• yk how he is with ike? all simp-y and always looking for a way to spend time with him? yeah he does that to you too

• anyway, when he sees you get 3000+ points your FIRST TIME PLAYING

• his face: 😧

• he probably doesn’t believe that its your first time LMAOO - you probably have to prove it to him off stream somehow

• if you’re his kouhai: “y/n, i’m your elder you can’t be embarrassing me like this…”

• if you’re his senpai: “…you know what they say; the elder, the wiser.”

• “oh god, please don’t bounce up…” “PLEASE BOUNCE UP FOR THE LOVE OF GOD” - guess which one is vox

• anyway, afterwards, he’ll probably force you to watch him play fnaf afterwards so he has sone sort of pride in being able to out-do you somehow

• the mf sings to try and distract you to get you to mess up

• change. my. mind.

• “country rooooaaaaadssss, take me hooooooooome, to the plaaaaaceeee i BEEEELOOOOOOONGGGGG”

• getting 3000 first time hes just like ?????

• probably has that one face with the wide eyes and mouth wide open (like that one clip of sonny during the game show off collab w/ noctyx)

• and if you’re like him and start spewing nonsense to focus better, he’ll be laughing so hard

• “hey, chat, do you think anal hurts that bad?”

• “what???”

• if you have his fugi on your head whilst streaming he’ll probably pretend to punch it now and then just to get a reaction out of you

• mf is okay at suika but not like terribly amazing

• that being said hes rooting for you and will probably be so amazed at you repeatedly getting over 3000

• if there ever is a point where you’re malding he’ll either - A: Mald with you - B: Laugh his fucking ass off

• “WHY THE FUCK DID IT BOUNCE UP TO THE TOP?!?!”

• “LMAO AHAHAHAHAHABSISHWHAHA”

• definitely literally says “lmao” if you fail

• will bring up the most random things to talk about!!!

• “y/n have you seen that food theory video where he tried to cook his steak in the dryer??”

• “luca wtf are you talking about?”

• if you recently had an off collab he’ll also be telling embarrassing stories about you

• “[insert fan name] did you guys know that Y/N eats their oatmeal dry?? like no water.”

• anyways all around, hes amazed and he probably sends you a sweet discord message after stream

• “you’re so good at suika!!! :D”

• FOLLOW UP MESSAGE: “ew that was cringe ignore that”

• he just sucks at suika so hes just like: :0

• “y/n??? this isn’t like…pre-recorded?”

• “DO YOU NOT TRUST ME, IKE??”

• im running out of ideas for them uhhh

• when you get over 3000 your first try hes genuinely so amazed

• say he has a zatsu the next day, if someone superchats him about the totsu the night before he’ll go on a rant about how jealous he is that you’re so good at Suika

• “yeah, Y/N is like Shu and Mari with Tetris, they need to teach me their ways.”

• “an akasupa! ‘honest opinions on Y/N?’ Good question!”

• and then never elaborates

• uhhhhhh

• will most likely start bringing up either super philosophical topics to talk about or it’ll end up just being about miku

• LMAO IMAGINE YOU START TRASH TALKING IKE BEFORE HE JOINS THE TOTSU AND HE JOINS OUT OF PETTINESS???

• “yeah- so ike sucks at this game HAHAH-“ *ike joins* “SAY IT TO MY FACE”

• as soon as you sent the message you were doing a totsu he reacted to the message with that pepe side eye emote they have in the NIJI discord

• probably doesn’t join first, he waits for others

• LMAOO IF ITS HIM AND CLAUDE ITS GONNA BE CHAOTIC ASF

• claude: “y/n how do you feel about patriotism?” shu: “frick the patriarchy” y/n: “????”

• but, if the other leaves and its just you two, since hes pretty good at the game as well, he’ll probably help you with where to drop it

• and again, like luca, will probably bring up random topics

• and ligma jokes

• lots and lots of ligma jokes

• will also send messages in the discord server like:

• Shu Yamino: “y/n is too good someone plz trash talk them”

• Shu Yamino: “oh frick y/n’s good”

• LMAO PROBABLY TWEETS TOO

• Shu Yamino 👟☯️: y’all cant compare what the flip is this

notice how luca and ike’s are the longest

[legally-allowed-to-slime]

"pearl arguing that gem technically betrayed her because scar teamed up with her while gem tried to kill the mounders… hang on why is she kind of cooking" she's nawt cooking she's burning the kitchen but she doesn’t know it yet. i think here is where it gets more obvious that the two of them have severe communication barriers going on between them like what. but also i lowkey want to see pearl say that to gem just to watch gem absolutely lose her mind i think that would be a very enriching experience for me (not for them tho)

i think one of the reasons i never even considered gem feeling betrayed is because i almost exclusively watch pearl’s pov, and pearl took what seemed to me the best course of action. and as she pointed out, no matter what she did she would’ve been betraying someone anyway.

let’s consider her two options in the SL finale:

scar: has had no friends for the whole season, agreed to become a mounder just before the finale fight, has constantly been checking up on pearl throughout the whole battle

gem: teamed with scott (the only guy pearl hates), has been trying to kill the mounders the whole time

i think the emphasis here is that pearl felt she had no “real” attachment or commitment to gem. they weren’t day one allies, no debts were owed, they only paired up because they’re them. so that’s pearl’s argument, that she technically didn’t owe gem any loyalty.

but, of course, we know that’s nonsense. gem and pearl refused to fight each other in the finale until the very end, and had already been hanging out and formed an unofficial alliance before the finale. gem considers that enough to count as a bond, that, if broken, can be regarded as a betrayal.

now anon, the point you’re making is that pearl is clearly not getting gem. and i agree. but that’s just part of their characters. not to say pearl thought any less of their relationship in SL than gem did, but ohh my god she functions almost exactly like smajor in terms of allies. day one allies above everything, and since they all died, the second best option is not the one that you’ve spent two episodes running around the server with, but the one that you impromptu announced a mounder (i’d go on about dl!pearl/sl!scar parallels here but that’s another post) just to make it somehow fit into neat little boxes because you don’t want to make it seem that, god forbid, your feelings could ever precede your loyalty. god forbid anyone (most of all you) think that what you want is more important than what’s right. she’s so logical about it too which i’m guessing would infuriate gem

gem’s perspective is as biased as pearl’s is. she’s angry and bitter and the memory is still raw. and since it was her first season, she has no idea what pearl is like. she wasn’t there for last life or double life. she doesn’t know if pearl just follows her whims or sticks by the unwritten rules. so it’s like woah miscommunication mentioned! also why she doesn’t get just how much pearl and scott love/hate each other

honestly what i was referring to in the original post is that when hearing pearl’s train of thought out loud, it kind of makes sense? cc!pearl thinks through c!pearl’s emotions and principles very well and i love it because it keeps c!pearl generally consistent. i love it. i love how she’s so devoted to gem she can’t even make herself hate her. i kind of live for that

i’ve got to say dynamic of (accidentally) insensitive traumatised loser x angry traumatised lover is so interesting and it could very easily unfold in any way

[starlightswordfight]

"jeremy if this is another hc post I'm going to kill you" bad news

castaway nonsense PART TWO

– schnauz is deathly afraid of water. it unsettles him deeply, largely because of past experience. do you SEE his treasure catalogue entry for the blue paint?? who "swims out" for the "last time" in a swimming pool???? someone fucking DIED

– on a slightly similar note, he laughs when he's nervous!

– he is Perpetually Nervous

– I think molly would REALLY like the evil skeleton wizard memes that have taken over my brain for the past several years. "not me being evil shadow skull" and no one knows what the fuck she's talking about

– molly writes fanfiction

– will let people borrow her camera if you ask nicely

– speaking of molly. her and patch and dash should be best friends forever. same home planet and they all do stupid shit. jin is also involved and they're the voice of reason

– dash has a lot of fidget toys. on him at all times

– wears those jackets where it's just an anime character wrapped around them all the way all bizarre like. he doesn't think it's a good design by any means it's just really funny

– frisé's favorite instrument is the didgeridoo

– also she's intersex. I can do whatever I want

– hitting frisé with the singing/humming/tapping on stuff as stims beam

– construction work is super fucking loud so I think corgwin just would not be bothered by sudden/incredible noise anymore. it just reads as background stuff to him! that or he like genuinely isn't picking up on some of it at all, it doesn't register. frequent tinnitus haver. he might be going deaf

– corgwin is tumblr famous. the pikmin universe tumblr equivalent anyway. inspired by the headcanon generator that told us in the pikmin server I'm in that charlie lit a school on fire and got away with it and that the rescue corps killed princess diana

– think about it. he'd share fun building facts. niche internet micro celebrity and everybody loves him

– lapi is also tumblr famous

– he likes frolicking around outside For Enrichment but he also does it in the rain and sometimes comes home sick

– guilty of making sketchbooks into renderbooks and taking several years to complete them. "but it has to be perfect" That Is The Devil Talking

– horatio is not immune to the fog

– he has a VERY specific skillset. like. like stupid specific. the guy is the most proficient xylophonist you've ever met but he can't cook. knows how aeronautics works but his phone call game is BAD. give him an old movie from decades back and he can tell you what it is and who acted in it and exactly where he was when he first saw it, easily. if you ask him for directions anywhere he'll crumble and die

– he wrote his ID badge like that. it was fully and completely on purpose. horatio thinks it's funny as hell

– françois really likes bugs! sees them all the time in his work even if his studies are flora centric. while on pnf-404 he probably talks about it a LOT with dalmo. botany/environmental science major who minored in entomology

– I just do not think he'd be afraid of them and that is beautiful. he allows nothing to dissuade him. he has pet spiders it is wonderful

– OKAY YOU KNOW THOSE THINGS YOU CAN GET AT THE KENNEDY SPACE CENTER AND IN OTHER PLACES WHERE IT'S LIKE ROCK SAMPLES FROM FOREIGN SPACE BODIES?? AM I INSANE??? in the little capsules and shit ????? yeah kit has those

– astrophysics lover. adores space science. worked at a planetarium before meeting osa. I don't remember if this contradicts the established lore and I am too tired to go back and check so if im wrong you can pelt me with stones and tomato

– osa lets him ramble on about it but in all honesty he does not know what the fuck kit is talking about half the time ever. ever

– vice versa! osa also has a huge nerd thing and it's world history. which makes sense for an archaeologist. I don't mean modern history either I mean ANCIENT

– fawks would unironically endorse the idea of a cybertruck but it never comes to fruition because everyone says it's stupid and he feels insulted and he gives up and sulks about it

– but he'd specialize. I know he would. he gets specific with it. good for him! my money is on prehistoric archaeology, stuff back before written text, and language, and any history that could be recorded with the power of words. which is why travelling to pnf-404 was so fucking important to him, he's been trying to construct something that would fill in the gaps of that lost starfolk history and this WAS the exact sort of thing that he was looking for

– technically they're doing geoarchaeology together. yes that's a subfield

– he is a tech bro and everybody thinks this is stupid and dumb also

– chewy

[destinygoldenstar]

🍀Money Isn't The Only Victory🍀 - Total Drama Viewer Reacts to Disventure Camp Season 2 Episode 7 “Not As Easy As It Seems”

Hi.

So you may not have expected this because of... what happened...

But I wanted to react to this show and keep doing it. As a way to... you know... distract, from recent events...

Anyway, let's just go right ahead and jump into it.

"I'm putting together the platforms for today's challenge. Can't you see?"

Oh I don't like the sound of that...

"Didn't you have an intern to take care of these things?"

"Ever since Nina was kidnapped, I swore that I would never let her go for a second."

What exactly is your relationship with this puppet... demon... thing?

"That means this is our chance to get Riya's perfume back."

Oh yeah I forgot about that!

"I used her personal bathroom awhile ago and she didn't even notice."

OKAY LAKE, YOU REBEL.

"Okay, let's split up. That way it will be faster."

That doesn't look like splitting up to be chief.

"I must thank you again. What you are doing for me, I really appreciate it."

Awww

I am liking this Best Girls Alliance.

"Now I see why it is important. Those perfumes are really expensive."

"'Passion Of The Red Lady'. Mom and all her friends use that same fragrance."

Oho. Riya's fancy.

I know she got it from Connor. But she gonna be fancy rich with a million dollars.

"With a million dollars, I will always have the smell of my friends!"

I mean I don't want to THINK that, but think about it. Riya's a broke-ass actress who can't get a role, and is outside of her country with no relationships. And she's in a reality show where the value is money.

"If I was rich and famous, I'd have lots more friends and be lots happier!"

"Well, some people connect so well that when they separate, they feel empty. It's not common, but it's real."

Yeah, I know people like that.

Empty HOW, exactly?

"This brought back some memories."

Oh?

"When I was really stressed out with my homework and started losing my hair... mom took me to the wig shop. When I arrived, I saw a beautiful wig with red hair... but they didn't let me choose it. Mom was very upset with me because of my baldness. So she bought me this... she said it made me look like a good girl."

Awwwww

WEAR IT.

BECOME A REDHEAD. COME ON.

I WANT REDHEADED LAKE NOW.

YEEESSS!! REDHEADED LAKE! LET'S GOOO!!!!

I'm gonna have to get used to it. BUT LET'S GOOO!!!!

"First, you will have to play the classic dodgeball."

DODGEBRAWL.

At least NOW there's an in story reason for it, as she's Chris McLean's daughter and Total Drama is canon.

NUT SHOT!!

WE HAVE A NUT SHOT!!!

"Oops! I'm sorry!"

Oh, Rosa, don't apologize! You're too nice!!

NO ROSA!

OH GEEZ I THINK YOU CONCUSSED HIM.

"What kind of a bum can't blow up a ball properly?"

James, you can say asshole. It's fine.

Even a six year old has more guts to cuss than you.

"Actually, mine works."

"Forget it."

😂

OH MY GOD

THAT HAD NO RIGHT BEING AS FUNNY AS THAT WAS

😂

I'm SORRY

"Team A wins by default!"

That doesn't sound fair at all. You don't want to let Tess cook?

"That's not fair."

Even she agrees.

"Player 2? Who's Player 1?"

Oh I didn't think of it like that.

"He was my grandfather... everything I know about video games, he taught me."

Aw.

An ELDER teaching the YOUNGER generation about VIDEO GAMES? WHAT IS THIS NONSENSE?

"Until three months ago, when he died of lung cancer."

Aw...

YOU AND JAKE WOULD BE BEST FRIENDS!!

"I was super close with my grandparent, and they died."

"OMG ME TOO!!"

"I didn't leave the house for a long time and I cried every day... that's why I decided to audition for this show."

OH GEE, A CHARACTER WHO CAME TO THIS SHOW FOR THEIR GRANDPARENT.

WHERE HAVE I SEEN THIS BEFORE?

If Allyson and Jake aren't friends, I'll probably sue someone.

"Life can be crap, right?"

Tell me about it.

"It's enough to take a step forward to see that life has much to offer."

That an AWKWARD way she said that line.

Oh welp. That was easy.

"You see, he's been very good to me these last few days... but I'm worried about trusting him and that he will disappoint me again."

Fair.

I mean just because a guy is sweet in the tent ONCE doesn't mean you can negate all the toxic behavior before.

I mean, I know there's such thing as redemption. I need to see it and be proven it first.

"What he did to Yul, it didn't seem like it was part of a strategy."

Oh no, THAT was different. THAT was personal.

That was just bias against Yul right there.

"Rather, I would say that he was protecting you."

Yeah, that too.

But mostly bias against Yul.

"If what he wants is an alliance, wasn't Yul a better option?"

HELL NO.

IN WHAT WORLD WOULD YUL BE A GOOD OPTION FOR AN ALLY?

"Maybe he likes you."

"You mean like... he's in love with me?"

I mean... DUH.

But I think LUST is a better word than LOVE. You know what I'm saying?

"The way he kissed you, the tone of his voice, his body movements when he is around you..."

Yeah, lust. That's just proving my point.

COME ON LAKE! YOU CAN DO IT!!

YUS LAKE! GET IT GIRL!!

XD

OUCH. That looked like it hurt.

YEEESS!!

OH COME ON THAT'S BULLSHIT

THAT WAS ON THE POLE!

"Congratulations Hunter! You have won the challenge and immunity."

OH THAT'S BULLSHIT!!

"I mean that we can be friends again and even vote together."

When were you guys friends in the first place?

"But if you have any plans or something, no matter what, I'd like you to tell me and keep me in mind."

I can work with that.

If James is gonna keep his word on that.

"So can we take pictures together again?"

Oh geez, so THAT'S what he was worried about XD

"Hey gang! Me and my boyfriend got back together! Hashtag reunion!"

"I think we should vote for Tess or Ally."

Oh, so we're strategizing.

Yeah I kinda felt like one of them had to leave at some point.

"Hunter's alliance has dominated the game since day one. The only loss they've had was because I set Yul to your team."

That's fair logic.

"So bow down to ME! I saved y'all from the bigger threats here! I am a QUEEN! SHOW RESPECT!"

OOP. BUSTED.

SHE'S GONNA SPILL.

"There's still a long way to go before tonight's elimination. So we can spend the afternoon relaxing and playing video games."

Wow. You guys are ASS strategists, aren't ya?

"Guys, there's something I want to tell you."

"We are SCREWED. Nice knowing ya."

"I just want to say... thank you."

Oh? Awww...

"Thank you for not giving up on me. Thank you for insisting on reaching out to me, even though I'm a mess. I was horrible to you, and yet you treated me with kindness, patience, and love. I... I am very, very happy that I came to this camp. Despite many horrible things I've been through.... meeting you two has been on of the best things that's ever happened to me."

AWWWWWW. HONEY. OH MY GOSH...

I'm actually touched. SWEETHEART.

"Yeah, I could have told them that I was sure Ally or myself would be voted out at the end of the night. But what for? I... I prefer to spend these last few hours together without worries."

Awwww...

So she's just deciding to quietly accept her fate.

I get it. Honestly? I do get it.

For THIS character specifically, I get it.

Well, we know the outcome here.

'James'

Huh. I thought they'd vote Lake. Since, you know, she was the closest to winning immunity.

'Tess'

Op. I knew it.

'Ally'

Wait what?

I thought y'all were voting together. Why'd you split?

'James'

'Tess'

'James'

'Tess'

I knew it.

She accepted her fate.

What I'm wondering is who the fuck threw their vote on Ally?

"Damn! I knew that if Yul left, attention would fall on us!"

XD

I love that his response is to blame Yul.

It's YUL'S fault that Tess got eliminated here.

I don't care what everyone says. Hunter said it. BLAME YUL FOR TESS GOING HOME.

"We must have thought of a plan or something!"

I mean that's on you guys. YOU'RE the ones that said 'nah, let's party!'

At least Tess CHOSE to let it happen.

"At the end of all this, we will meet again and we will be together."

As a polycule!

It goes full circle!

Awwwwww

Bye, Tess! Have a good one!

That's a good end for that character. I will give her that.

Could Tess have strategized to save herself? Maybe???

I don't know, honestly. I don't know what she COULD have done in that situation. Those five were pretty sound in their logic against her and her alliance, so it's not like she could've persuaded them to flip.

And they didn't have any blasted idols, so yeah, that was inevitable.

And if not in that episode, then at some point it would've happened anyway.

So I'm actually okay with it, because you know what?

TESS WON.

Okay? SHE WON.

I said this in a post about Total Drama before. NOT EVERY CHARACTER GOES ON THESE SHOWS TO WIN.

Some of them came here for the experience. Or to get away from bad life circumstances.

TESS IS AN EXAMPLE OF THIS.

There was nothing in her character that read to me that she was on the show to win the money.

If she won? Great. The money is a bonus.

But what she was REALLY after was to be on that show for a fulfilling experience. Which she NEEDED due to her depression.

AND SHE GOT IT. SHE MADE FRIENDS. SHE GOT A LIFE-FILLED EXPERIENCE. SHE GOT TO BE HAPPY.

THAT IS THE VICTORY THERE.

TESS WON.

So it didn't matter to her that she gets eliminated. As long as she gets to keep her friends by the end. That's what matters to her.

GOOD FOR YOU, TESS.👏

[aravas-writing]

And now, the continuation no one asked for:

A funnyman's recap of Blue Archive

Prologue

It begins with the player character having a weird dream while on the train to Kivotos, which is ominous enough. Sensei awakens and steps off the train to meet with the person in charge

Her name is Rin, and she is a stand-in. The president of the General Student Council - the Big Cheese, basically - has gone missing and named Sensei, i.e. the player, as the person to summon in this case. Sensei is referred to with gender neutral pronouns, so can be either/or/neither, whatever floats your boat.

(Rin not pictured here BC she doesn't really become relevant to the overall story until way later.)

She functions as a proxy for the Prez while they're gone and brief Sensei on what's happening in the city and Great Googly Moogly, it's gone to shit in a heartbeat.

The seven most notorious criminals of the city had just been all apprehended as the Prez disappears so now they take the confusion as the chance to escape.

And one of them wants to fucking bomb the main tower.

For fun.

She is Kosaka Wakamo, Fox of Calamity (the reference to Tamamo-no-Mae jumps out immediately, no?)

Rin informs Sensei that it's up to them now and with the help of a nice tablet called

...

The..

The Shittim Chest.

Yes, I know. No, I don't think they workshopped it enough. Let's just call it the tablet.

Anyway, Rin also introduces four students, representatives of the Three Great Academies, who have come to aid Sensei and the GSC. They are, essentially, the starters.

Before it goes to battle, however, Sensei boots up the tablet using a passcode of ominous origin. It came to them in a dream (?).

And then an AI helper comes out!

Behold Arona! The AI of the tablet and adorable widdle babby who you can actually headpat. But that comes later.

And now, in cliffnotes, introducing the starters!

Hayase Yuuka

Treasurer at Millennium Academy

Can solve complex calculations in her head

Wields two Sig MPX, called "Logic & Reason"

Falls victim to a rumor about her actually weighing 100kg (someone manipulated her health check data)

Easily flustered when caught off-guard

Tries to be no-nonsense, fails at times

Develops a crush on Sensei with time

Hanekawa Hasumi

Dear god her artist is cooking the finest chili in the land

Vice president of the Justice Task Force at Trinity Academy (note the angel theme)

Uses a 1914 Enfield rifle named "Impalement"

Very conscious about her weight (GEE I WONDER WHERE ITS GOING)

Also has a sweet tooth

Constant sufferer of her own diets

Competent at her job

Effortlessly gorgeous

Hinomiya Chinatsu

Member of the Prefect Team at Gehenna Academy

Healer and good at it

Very adorable when flustered

Most transparent crush on Sensei after Yuuka

Wields a M712 Mauser pistol called "Support Pointer"

Feels constantly overworked, relishes rest

Morizuki Suzumi

Member of Vigilante Club at trinity

Literally just tagged along because she wanted to help

Gun: SIG MCX Virtus Patrol "Safety"

Stern, but kind

Bad at socialising

Has a really big stockpile of flash grenades.

Now you may see the guns and think "well damn, that is surprising" and/or "these girls are gonna die?"

Well.

Once they step out to meet the thugs that Wakamo rallied for max destruction, Yuuka gets shot in the head...and complains that hollow point bullets hurt like hell.

That's right, just about every inhabitant of Kivotos is bulletproof.

Except Sensei.

Fucked, innit?

Anywho, Sensei decides to use the tablet to give tactical support to the four girls at the front, who actually succeed in subduing Wakamo...

Except not really, she ran off into the tower to look what she can wreck with bombs.

She sees Sensei.

"Come here often?"

She excuses herself and bolts, which brings up several questions. All of which are answered in the Valentine's event.

And by me here and now: this girl fell in love at first sight and promises to be a good girl for a crumb of affection by the, apparently, only adult in Kivotos!

And that's how Sensei establishes themselves, as well as the club called Schale they helm from then on.

End prologue, welcome to Blue Archive, please leave your common sense at the door

[dogboy-br4in]

Chart made by Gibslythe!!!

HAIIIII i made a ship chart of them for funsiessss and since they haunt my every waking moment i'm just gonna ramble complete nonsense about them below the cut,, kinda explaining the reasoning behind the little notes i made TEEHEE <33

I imagine Akari is the little spoon most often, but tbh she kinda just lays on TOP of Cola, kinda similar to a cat lmao, Cola would be the big spoon most of the time but sometimes here or there i can also see him being the little spoon if he's being particularly vulnerable around them!!! It takes a bit of convincing but if it makes Akari happy then he'll agree to be the little spoon lol

Cola obviously lends clothes more often BUT even if he doesn't lend any Akari kinda just ends up borrowing or taking them anyways😭

Cola isn't really TOO comfortable to use pet names. The most he'll do is call her "Ari" instead of her full name, MAYBE if he feels like it,, like its the right mood and setting he might call her other pet names like perhaps "Baby, Doll, Honey" but thats about as far as it goes. I don't think he'd use anything like "Princess, Kitten, Babe" bc they feel awkward to him lol. Meanwhile Akari feels more inclined to use pet names ALTHOUGH technically this kinda just means she mainly uses nicknames lol. So tbh they'll mostly call Cola "Co" or maybe even "Coco" if they feel like being more silly. But thats about it, otherwise Akari doesn't use anything else too much lol

Obviously, Cola is extremely introverted. He might show emotions like frustration, anger, or even indifference, MAYBE a few others if he's feeling enough emotion but otherwise I imagine him to be more reserved and quiet. Especially when it comes to a relationship! Akari is WAYYYYY more extroverted and kinda does all the talking for the both of them!!!

Akari is more used to showing affection through actions since they're WAY too awkward to say it in words. Anytime they try they kind of stumble over their words and awkwardly fluster themselves bc they don't know what to really say. Cola is kind of similar in that regard but he's also slowly getting a bit more used to it the more he does it. Overall though I imagine these two show love mainly through actions than anything else, even if its something small and simple no one else would really bat an eye at

Since these two are both extremely awkward, especially with relationships and romance in general, i imagine they're both the kind of people who keep waiting for the other to confess and it just takes FOREVER to actually happen. I feel like Cola, with his higher confidence though, would probably just rip the band aid off after too much waiting and ask Akari out first :3

Akari honestly doesn't mind bugs too much. She doesn't want to kill them or anything either, but she will ask Cola to remove them instead just bc lol. LIKE, she could remove them all on her own BUT she likes the idea of Cola doing small little things for her so she asks him for help lol. Cola doesn't mind bugs at all. His gut reaction is to just squash them but if Akari asks to keep them alive then he'll just move them outside or perhaps somewhere else away from them (like the garage or something idk)

Akari can't drive for shit LMAOOOO she does NOT have her drivers license. If she needs to get anywhere in town she either walks or uses her skateboard, sometimes a mix of both. Thus, Cola always drives and honestly doesn't mind it.

Akari ALSO can't cook for shit either,, she's the type of person to primarily live off of cereal and ramen noodles for the rest of their lives if they have to, JUST because she doesn't know how to really cook or make anything else. Cola is a pretty good cook and tbh its one of his love languages so whenever she stops by or stays the night he'll often cook meals for her which she LOVESSSSS!!!!!!

Cola doesn't hate PDA per say, but if it IS around others it feels a bit more awkward and he does tend to tense up just a bit, especially around his family or close friends. He won't directly push Akari away either though since he doesn't want to hurt their feelings. Meanwhile Akari adores PDA and tends to do it quite often, sometimes even without realizing it at all lol

Cola is very protective of Akari bc she can be a bit dense at times and he doesn't wish for anything to happen to her. He believes in the mindset that "I would sacrifice myself and the whole world to make sure you're okay" and so if anyone messes with Akari or makes them upset and then you'll have a very angry Russian after you. Akari is more chill. I wouldn't say she gets jealous OFTEN, i mean, the feeling is still there because of her instincts thanks to being a succubi, but at the same time, Akari is so nice to people around her that she believes the best in everyone. If someone was actively flirting around Cola she might not even bat an eye at it...not unless they truly got under her skin ofc but that'll still take a lot

I'd say BOTH of these weirdos don't have a whole lot of relationship experience. Akari hasn't really been in ANY type of relationship at all, so this would technically be her first official one. And Cola usually just did little hook ups, one night stands, or one quick little date here or there but nothing up to this level so some of this stuff is also entirely new to him as well. However, bc of the little quick dates I'd imagine Cola would at least probably be a BIT more experienced than Akari is, you know with just the basics like treat them nicely, take them on dates, stuff like that!

ALSOOOOOOO fun fact, but the way their names were written???? Thats kinda how i imagine they each write their own names, respectively lol, Akari feels like the type to add little hearts and whatnot to what she writes while i feel like Cola just leans more towards a quick cursive type of writing style,, if that makes sense???

ANYWAYS, ramble time over,,, i am so mentally ill about them omgggggg

[moni-logues]

BTS on International Women*'s Day!

This is a silly little thing I wrote last year and, here we are again! So here we are again lmao. It's silly, it's nonsense, please don't take this too seriously 😅

BTS x woman* reader

Jin He’s thought about this quite a lot. He wants to acknowledge it because it’s important to, but at the same time, he doesn't want it to come across like an empty gesture. He thinks he treats you equally, respectfully, all the time (as he should!) so would it really be meaningful to ‘celebrate’ this day? In the end, he leaves it up to you: he asks if you want him to do something and what it might be. You haven’t really thought about it, to be honest; you ask him to cook you dinner, which he would’ve done anyway because you don’t like cooking and he does.

Yoongi He wants to spend the day with his face in your pussy is what he wants to do. Unfortunately, jobs exist. So he goes downtown to start the day and eagerly awaits the time when you are both back from work so he can go there again. Wants you to come more times than you can count and then when you’re immobilised and dazed, he’ll bring you dinner in bed.

Hoseok Buys you something sweet and accepts it graciously when you explain that maybe needless consumerism isn’t the best present on this of all days. You tell him that you really appreciate him doing something to acknowledge the day anyway. Since his first gesture didn’t go down the way he hoped, he gives you another: improvised strip tease and the most devoted dicking down you’ve ever had. You find out later that he also donated a significant sum to a women’s charity that you support.

Namjoon He’s been planning for this, actually. Gets tickets to a lecture or an exhibition or theatre show or something relevant. He also looks into the company’s gender policies and asks your opinion (should he take it further? Ask the women in the company? Do something else?); prepares an evening where everything is taken care of and you don’t have to do anything.

Jimin Mr People Pleaser wants to please you all day. Breakfast in bed, helps you get ready, takes you to work with a packed lunch he prepared himself, picks you up from work and takes you home, massages your feet, hands you wine, wants to hand-feed you dinner (at which you draw the line). Does it all laughing at his over-indulgence and knows he’s being silly, but wants you to know that he also takes it seriously, so asks you to give him advice on a cause he can support or donate to.

Taehyung He’s thought about it and decided that he will do any and every chore that needs doing on this day, but doesn't realise that there's very little that needs doing because you've already done it all; he also thinks about just how much of the housework and chores he usually does and decides he’ll monitor it going forward to see if he could be pulling his weight more in general (forgets this as soon as the clock hits midnight on the 9th!).

Jungkook Thinks about it a lot. Takes advice. Thinks about it some more. Struggles with wanting to show his appreciation without wanting to make too much of a fuss. Ums and ahs for so long that he’s sort of left it too late to do anything special. Decides he’ll just agree to do anything and everything you want -- as if the good little boy doesn't do that every day anyway!

[sometimeslapine]

It's not about quantity, it's about quality. Even if they arent the same scale, I'm sure I'm not alone in saying they would be appreciated.

And I'll be honest, engaging in a dialog about kink that is just ping ponging ideas back and forth sounds fun. Sometimes you don't need one massive work to lay out like a blanket to cover all the reasons and facets and quirks you like about a certain kink. Sometimes you don't even need a patch work quilt that you build upon. Sometimes you've earned the Worlds Worst Bonus from your job at the Cotton Ball Factory and you're just throwing little ball after ball at the topic, not caring where they land or if you've hit the same aspects again and again, and then you look back and see you've done a pretty good job covering the topic anyway.

Even if you aren't writing a novel, with your art you do a great job of making kink... I hesitate to say Feel Real but you make it Make Sense in a Real Way. Like of course if you lived in a world with Boob Growth Lotion, you can't just rub it in with your hands or else you'll get Boob Hands and that's Fun because Of Course that would happen. And I just kinda wanna see what you can cook up if you didn't have to find a way to visualize and show and make it look good.

bit of a delayed response to this one while turning over possible replies in my head... struggling to explain a few more conceptual blocks. writing's always been a weird subject matter for me, in one way or another. pls bear with me

so like. comparatively, inflation kink fics span back a good two decades, at least. there's an established pool of tropes, visual metaphors, ideal pacing or story beats to hit, tones or themes that set the mood, key phrases that really get at the brain, and points of finality that overall mesh really well for a good story. not to say there's no originalities to be had in this space anymore, but there's a lotta prior work to draw from, were i to need assistance filling a void in a sentence or two.

but the thing is, with the more nonsensical stuff like That Comic Thing You're Referring To, there isn't a lot of pre-existing stuff i can reference! i often find that i completely lack the language framework needed to put those weirder scenarios into words. i'm just making it up as i go, after all! and so drawing it out in some loose manner becomes infinitely easier than trying to capture all the nuances of it in a paragraph or two, because i get to lean a bit heavily on the storytelling mechanic of "Show, Don't Tell" as support.

though these scenarios being physically sketched-out-on-paper may end up leaving them a bit more concise than intended in their delivery, i'd like to think the concept i'm exploring's still getting conveyed effectively (even if i can't put the scenario to art in the way I'm /fully/ hoping to, whether due to the limits of my artistic skill, or just other general constraints of anatomy & form in a physical space) because ironically, despite a "concise" delivery, a drawing still remains open-ended enough to have its blanks filled in by the viewer's own preferences/themes/biases in enjoyment (in the same weird way the sketch of a piece can sometimes look more visually interesting & carry more emotion than that piece's finished lineart would) with the open-ended nature guiding one's thoughts to what potential fun lies outside the final panel. as you experience art, art experiences you, etc. etc. etc.

as for making it feel "real", honestly sometimes it's less about realism and more about exploring the fun and wild "consequences of over-indulgency" (said with as much love and appreciation as possible, just so we're clear!!); it's acknowledging the dangers of going wild with a Topical That Changes You without hesitation, it's of not thinking it through before leaping directly into in the path of that TF raygun beam, it's of playing with dangerous and ancient magicks because the spellbook had funny drawings that poked at the kinky parts of your psyche, it's of getting too lost in the sauce to have an escape plan.

consequences, for lack of any better word, can help ground fantasies into something more tangible! makes it feel more Real, despite very much being weird fantasy nonsense at its heart

anyway. run-on-sentences and streams of consciousness aside, i appreciate that my weird brand of nonsense is enjoyed all the same

[normalest-of-knees]

Episode 8 and general Volume 9 discussion under the cut because... oof-

Tw: suicidal topics involving this episode and previous ones

Where exactly do we go from here? I'm serious. Where can this even go with 2 episodes left to this nonsensical volume?

Regardless of what RT actually does next episode, one way or another Ruby herself and (hopefully) everyone else will have to deal with the fact that she wanted to die, or at the very least, not be herself anymore.

Yes, Ascension is supposed to be different, but we also don't know anything about that. Ruby isn't from this world, so it may not even work, but we've also had unreliable sources (according to the show, anyways) as to what it actually is and does. We know the basics of how it's supposed to work, but not whether it's actually good or not

I had one crazy theory come to mind after the last 2 episodes, namely after we see Summer in Ruby's reflection in the storm.... and I cannot stress how much I hope this won't happen (but given how things have gone so far-):

I'm worried we may get a "Ruby turns into Summer Rose" or "Ruby was actually Summer all along" bullshit. It's just stupid enough to be something the writers would think is a "cool" "fun" "twist".

That aside, I must once again stress (I said this on a different blog) that everything feels like its going by at a break neck pace. So much is happening yet nothing is happening at all??

Ruby seemingly doesn't run very far away at all, enough that her team can hear the gunshots of her being attacked. She gets some weird spotlight beforehand that at first I thought was supposed to convey the passage of time as she walked, but I'm not really sure. She seemingly purposefully walks towards the mansion/casino/building Neo cooked up and we immediately are inside?? There's no transition to this. You'd be forgiven for thinking after she ran away that this bit was all a dream

Then even the parts with the dead menagerie attacking Ruby are odd. How does Neo know about half of this stuff? Is she guessing? Did she somehow find out via the lamp back when Cinder used it?? And as awful as it was for Ruby to be beaten and tortured like that, it was insanely short.

I know she was already beyond her limits, but they barely do much/say much before she's considering the tea. She had so much fire when she waltzed in there ("If you want me dead then come and get me!"), but a few illusions and her Aura is broken and she's ready to be done?? Again, I know she was already having a breakdown before, but it still felt too rushed to be natural. I know we saw bruises and a few cuts (and random blood on her hands?), but otherwise she wasn't visibly looking worse than some other fights she's been in before.

Also, why in the shit fuck did her friends just stand there and do nothing? You're telling me after someone dear and close to you freaks out, runs off, then you hear gunfire and rush to see what it is, then see her on the ground visibly upset and beaten up with the villain who has been hunting her down standing over her with their weapon out, you just..... stand there?? Waiting to see what's up?? There weren't even any copies or illusions around as well, it was just Neo and Ruby there.

Ruby just picks up the cup and drinks and Yang just.... stands there. Even the close up on her eye didn't have much emotion other than if she was watching a log tumble off a waterfall or something. Like barely anything aside from "Oh wow. Huh" going on....

And yeah, CC and Neo being the ones more upset over that than anything is.... a thing.

I don't care how the group interprets Ascension, you see your close friend, your SISTER, drink some unknown liquid and then falls over looking dead and gets swallowed up by a hole in the ground with vines, you'd have a reaction. You'd be panicking and running over to the spot. Freaking out! "Where'd they go?? What's going on??" Would be an understandable reaction.

But nothing. No one even moves an inch, they just watch, get blasted by a Cat, then it's over.

I thought at least Weiss would use her glyphs or something to charge at Neo or get to Ruby as fast as she could. Summon something to knock the cup out of her hand. Anything!! Why are they so.... apathetic about it? They're not even really horrified, they're just "Oh no... anyways." Like they saw someone slip and break something they were holding. Unfortunate, but oh well.

Don't even get me started on Yang's bitching earlier.

"Why'd she run off like that?!" "That wasn't upset that was-- ugh!! Why didn't she talk to us?!" "We weren't asking her to be perfect."

If you told me Yang hardly ever interacted with Ruby ever, let alone was her sister that 'supposedly' raised her, I'd believe you. The Hell kind of reaction is this when your sister runs away crying after expressing she wasn't doing ok?? Yes, Ruby brushed people off when they'd try to ask if she was ok, but even that is still an answer! Clearly she was not ok! And even when she'd be more vulnerable or sad, she was ignored or scolded for being sullen. How in the fuck was she supposed to open up?

I honestly don't know what is even gonna happen after this. 2 episodes left and the title character committed metaphorical suicide.

They'll either make it not matter, make her reset and forget everything, become someone else entirely, or nothing will change and she'll just have to be like "Yeah, so, my bad. Anyways, here's the exit guys"

This show makes me so tired....

[areyougonnabe]

I see why Clem is Contained within his Clemclosure. HOKAY. So what's going on with Amundsen, Nansen, and Johansen? (Also you by no means have to continute to humor my nonsense but you are full of ARCTIC TEA and I'm genuinely so interested.)

SO FIRST OF ALL IT MUST BE SAID I MADE A MAJOR MISTAKE IN THAT CORNER and this is how it should have looked actually (i left out the line between amundsen and nansen):

as you can see there between amundsen and nansen it says "end-stage M&Ms decay." that probably makes no sense so let me back it up. "wanting daddy's M&Ms" is a reference to this succession parody video that has long since curdled into a general way of referring to like. erotically-tinged approval-seeking from a superior????

anyway. i am not by any means a norwegian guys expert so this will not be hugely detailed BUT. this is the basics.... and if you want more detail check out the last viking by stephen brown!

fridtjof nansen was The Big Man in polar exploration, ever since he made the first crossing of greenland on skis when he was only 27 in 1888. incidentally he was big sexy

after greenland, he had the ship Fram purpose-built to survive being trapped in the pack ice and proceeded to head north in 1893 and well, get it trapped in the pack ice. using this unorthodox method he planned to drift with the pack and reach a new furthest north record, and maybe even make it to the pole.

hjalmer johansen, an athlete, skier, & dog driver, was on this expedition, and nansen chose him to accompany him when he left the ship in the middle of the drift (2 years into the expedition) to make a dash for the pole. using dogs and skis they reached 86º14' which was a major record for the time!!!

of course they couldn't... go back to the ship... bc it had drifted while they were gone. so they ended up having the incredible luck to come across Franz Josef Land, an archipelago in the russian arctic, on their way south and ended up wintering there. EVEN CRAZIER, when they left again in the spring they ran into ANOTHER EXPEDITION—the jackson-harmsworth expedition happened to be hanging out in franz josef land too!

(a posed photo they took a couple days later lolol i love it)

sooo ok. furthest north, big deal, blah blah. nansen was now a national and international hero, rich and famous, and took up a professorship to focus on compiling the expedition's scientific reports. he became the Dude Everyone Came To Ask For Polar Advice From - advice which he handed out pretty freely (though not everyone listened... akdjhsdfsfsdf)

roald amundsen had been inspired by nansen since he was young and the man was pretty much his all-time idol. after amundsen's successful transit of the northwest passage in 1906, he was interested in finally pursuing his lifelong dream of being first to the north pole. he was able to convince nansen to let him use the fram to do another north polar drift, and try to make it all the way to the "big nail."

nansen was like ok sure :) as long as you take my buddy johansen :)))) who could really use a gig :)))))))))))

johansen had been uuuhhhh not doing great in the years since getting back from the first fram expedition.

but WHOOPS - in the middle of amundsen's preparations, in 1909, cook and peary happened. ("happened" lol) soooo the north pole was out of the question—at least as far as being first went, and that's p much what mattered to amundsen. it had to be south.

but amundsen couldn't just TELL everyone he was going south. for ummm a lot of reasons mostly related to funding and not wanting all the donors (incl the government) to pull out of the expedition and stop him from going altogether.

and that included... nansen!!!!!!! he literally didn't tell nansen he was taking HIS ship to the complete other side of the planet. bc nansen might have been like "no u cant"

anyway nansen was ok with it when he eventually found out, BUT literally nobody else was lol.

ok fast forward a bit and DURING amundsen's actual south pole expedition johansen was causing a lot of trouble. he and amundsen experienced so much friction that amundsen ended up leaving him out of the final polar party as punishment.

when they return from the south pole to australia, amundsen dismissed johansen from the expedition immediately and ordered him to return to norway separately.

within two years he had committed suicide.

:(

during amundsen's lengthy speaking tour to celebrate his south pole victory, nansen (the consummate scientist and diplomat) is like. ok roald buuuut you really really really have to do that north polar drift now even though they've already been to the north pole. bc you said you would!!!!!!!!!!!

let it be known roald really did not want to lol and kept putting it off and eventually it became his most Cringe Fail Expedition of all time aka the Maud expedition.

his relationship with nansen was complex until the end of his life especially when nansen had to play diplomatic damage control due to some rancid stuff roald published in his memoir. and then nansen outlived him!!!!! and gave his eulogy!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! [YELLS]

weirdly there's not a lot of pictures of them together but here's a snap from the belgica expedition that im obsessed with bc de gerlache looks like he's about to shit himself standing next to nansen who's like, radiating tinder profile pic vibes. and roald is over there on the right staring into the middle distance like . The M&Ms. They Are Within My Reach. Stay Cool. Girl U Got This.

[gelataisa]

HELP I wanted to stay mysterious and all but apparently you can’t add images like that, so I’m sending imgur links

https://imgur.com/ABzQX4M

https://imgur.com/lgXdmdZ

(For the sake of staying mysterious let’s say that I am from Eastern Europe)

I’m not sure for how long original pizza is supposed to be cooked, but I waited for this one for 10~ minutes so maybe this one can be classified as a fast food 🥲

Also, your note about healthy diet is quite funny now since this pizza is my first meal today (and it’s 2pm here now lol)(sorry if I’m talking nonsense cuz my sugar level is probably 2 right now hehe)

P.s. I’m going to travel some other countries like Poland, Czech and Germany, want me to order and show you pizza there?(at this point I’m just searching for opportunities to ask you about everything tbh)

Dude I didn't want you to lose your mystery as well, but you realise that knowing the general provenience was important for science!!

Anyway, it doesnt look too bad for a foreign pizza. shredded mozzarella is found in italian pizzas too, though i dont dig it that much. But i mean, only seeing it it doesnt look like a culinary heresy. Taste migh be another story though ahahahahah

Now, a pizza made by a restaurant should cook for less than 3 minutes. Professional pizza ovens run over 300°, which is what allows for the crust to leaven a lot (if made properly) and for all the ingredients to cook. I looked it up and neapolitan pizza cooks above 400° for 90 seconds.

Pizzas made at home in a regular oven are quite different and take up even 20 minutes, but they are very different from pizzeria ones.

Then please do remember to have breakfast cause its important and in any case eating badly (sometimes) is better than not eating at all!!!!

and im ready to rate all the pizzas you want, and do ask anything!! Im having a lot of fun honestly

[acourtofthought]

I was pretty indifferent toward Elain’s character and then at some point the ship wars made me a bit annoyed of her (not the characters fault) which was crazy bc I never truly disliked her. But I still felt like I didn’t know her no matter how much ppl explained her character. So… after having a good mental break from the internet I came back to see if anyone could analyze her character in a way that made sense to me & wasn’t repetitive or preachy. I just… didn’t want fandom nonsense to affect how I felt about a character, esp one who I knew nothing about (and when it’s regarding a ship bc that’s just worse, not to mention v silly!)

Anyway, I came across your blog (and other eluciens) and it has helped me see her character in a way that might not be so easy to notice at first, esp for casual readers (formerly me). It felt like I only ever saw one explanation for why she behaves/reacts a certain way but your blog gives a very diff perspective and I love that bc I couldn’t see it at first. If only I’d ventured out of my gwynriel blogs into elucien blogs back then! I wouldn’t call myself a “Stan” but I do like her very much! And it’s gotten to the point where I now get annoyed when ppl make the same claims about her that i used to think, or they say what’s been said about her for forever. In my head I’m like, “but you don’t know the half of it!” Also, not to mention the fact that it is 100% true that female characters have to “work” a lot harder to be forgiven for even the smallest things and that is absolutely not okay. And idc if it’s a female character (in general) I don’t really like— i still wouldn’t be okay with that.

I’d say biggest thing I got out of your blog (and others) is that I gained a certain amnt of respect for her. And i kno it will only go up for me when her book is out. That was honestly prolly my biggest struggle with her character in the beginning. Her being quiet or enjoying gardening wasn’t a problem to me (although I did wish she’d speak her mind every once in awhile). It was more like.. “Idk what I can respect about her, at least not yet” esp with the comparisons to gwyn. But this is absolutely NOT true for me anymore. I’m finally able to see her outer AND INNER beauty!

I’m so glad though that now I can love both ladies without feeling like they’re up against each other. So thank you!!

Btw the more I think about it the more I’m like.. she reminds me a bit of Penelope from Bridgerton (who I love) so I’m very interested to see her character arc!

Sending lots of love 🫶

Thank you for this message!!! ❤️

It's one of my favorite things to hear, that people that were really not fans of Elain's have come around to her a bit after something I or others might have said.

She's definitely not been as bold as the other FMC SJM has written about and if you like SJMs books, I can understand how that'll turn some people off.

And while she'll never be 100% like Feyre or Nesta or Aelin, you see the little hints that she's already much more than she currently looks to be in the NC.

And I think that's the issue I have with how some view Elain. To them, the thing that makes her happiest is to be gardening and cooking / baking / serving the IC. Where her purpose is to spend her days reassuring Azriel that he's not a big bad man, that he just needs a little love to be the soft gentle boy she knows him as.

And that Elain is horrific to me. I don't read SJM to read about a heroine who's purpose revolves around being a housewife to the male.

There is NOTHING wrong with being a housewife but I'm realistic about what fantasy books with a female POV are about and that's not the point of these kinds of story's. I want to see her grow and become a force to be reckoned with. I don't want her to take a backseat to Azriel, there to make him feel worthy and to tag along for his spy / torture sessions when we get zero hints that's what she wants.

Time will tell but I really hope SJM proves to E/riels that Elain is more than a character used to serve others. A character deserving to have a greater purpose than spending her days reassuring Az over and over that he's not a big bad male whose touch will taint her "immaculate skin". A character deserving of her journey to be told on page and not something that's apparently happened in someone else's book (friends already found, already in love).

[mxharleyhua]

Harley Hua ~ Task Thirteen: Short and Sweet

What is your favorite book from childhood? I was just talking to Elliot about this the other day, but I loved Watchmen. I know it's not really for children, but my parents didn't. I also had a more age-appropriate book I loved, because the art was so beautiful in it. I remember it took place in the woods, but not what it was called or what the plot was. But it was so detailed, and colorful, and had a unique art style.

Do you own an item that comforts you when you’re sad? Do my art supplies count?

What makes you happy? I seem to have a one-track mind tonight but after a long day I love to go home, take off my cochlear implants, light a candle, and spend hours painting. I do my best work in the middle of the night when everyone else is asleep. What are three things you like about yourself? I like almost everything about myself. That sounds like a cop-out, but it took me a really long time to learn self confidence. So maybe that's the first thing I like - that I'm a confident person. I also like the discipline I have to eat right and work out every day so that I can have the body I always dreamed of. And I love my sense of fashion. It's so much fun to dress up for all the events we have here in Merrock.

Which season is your favorite? Summer, easily! I love the heat, getting to spend a lot of my free time at the beach, and how much brighter everything feels; literally and emotionally.

Do you believe in the supernatural? What are we defining as supernatural? Ghosts and witches? Or are more religious symbols such as Gods, angels and demons also supernatural? Being raised both Jewish and Chinese, I got a lot of mixed messages as a kid. Parts of my Chinese culture are clearly against Jewish law. But I didn't grow up orthodox, so I've always taken it with a grain of salt on both sides anyways. I was generally discouraged from things like magic, or ghosts and demons, unless it was coming from a Chinese family member. I think my parents disagreed with how to raise us in that regard and tried to compromise, but it just made any of it being taboo feel nonsensical. Anyways, both cultures say not to mess with ghosts but I really want to go ghost hunting one day. Name a song that has a deeper meaning to you You've activated my Deaf card. What do you think about social media? I think it's great! Obviously, there are some drawbacks. But it allows people to connect in a way we couldn't have just a couple decades ago, and connects vulnerable people to resources that they need. How many queer communities have thrived on websites like tumblr? I remember being a teenager and seeing people like myself online when I didn't know there was anyone else like me in Merrock. It was lifechanging! What would be your dream job? Illustrator. Specifically, illustrating comic books but I also really want to do childrens books too. Name three things you don’t leave the house without My keys, obviously. And my phone. Normally I have my wallet or my cochlear implants on me, but not always. With so many places having tap-to-pay now, you really only need those two things. What is your favorite comfort food? My grandma is an amazing cook and she does this delicious lamb hot pot. It's a good thing she lives so far away, because I could not stick to my nutrition goals if I had the opportunity to eat that every week. Are you an active person? / What do you do to stay active? Is water wet? Technically not, but that's not the point. When I'm not painting or instructing a class, I'm almost always on the move. I try to spend two hours at the gym every day, although that's not always realistic with my busy schedule. I get a lot of steps in, walking around and giving tours at From Brush to Canvas. And I grew up doing gymnastics and cheerleading and try to practice so I don't lose my ability to do some of those stunts. Even as I've transitioned, I've managed to keep a lot of the flexibility I grew up with. I also live in the ocean in the summer, whether I'm surfing or swimming. Name your three biggest inspirations (people-wise) My brother and my grandma are easily my first two. Leaving my family for the third one, I think Gerda Wegener was amazing and pushed boundaries on sexuality and gender with her art in a way I really admire. What is currently your favorite airing show? I don't watch a lot of TV. When I'm at home, I like to take off my cochlear implants and enjoy the silence. And after a long day, the last thing I want to do is read captions for an hour straight. But I'm really excited for Echo to come out in a couple months. If you had to go anywhere right now, where would you go? If I had to? A warm, tropical beach that has complimentary cocktails and crystal-clear water.

[lecliss]

If you want OC questions, tell me the favorite food of the first OC that pops into your head 👀

Hhhhhhhhhhh aweeome awesome awesome can always rely on you buddy youre the best 💕💕💕

Okay first one that popped into my head is my edgy boy Eblis, who Ive never talked about on here so this is just gonna sound like nonsense but whatever.

So he grew up in a port town where his dad was a fisherman so he ate lots of fish and seafood in general and thats like definitely a comfort food for him throughout his life. And his favorite of that is actually grilled squid and the way his mom makes it is like, perfection. He'll eat that all day man. But he's also too embarrassed to admit that to his companions. God forbid he express positive emotions ya know?

But later on when he has to move away from home he mostly eats junk food and snacks cuz he's a 14yo edgy gamer boy with too much freedom(technically). He has a stockpile of this very specific brand's octopus flavor chips and he refuses to let anyone see him eat them so he just eats normal flavors in front of others cuz again, god forbid he express positive emotions and actually like things, ya know?

But there is this really chef guy in the group and whenever he asks Eblis if he's interested in eating anything specific he's like "idk man fuck if I care. I guess seafood would be fine tho...." Cuz again, GOD FORBID and he's really going through it, but he misses seafood from home and will take any opportunity he can to have it.

And years later when he travels the world alone, definitely not because he's a wanted criminal, he's still mostly eating junk and snacks, but if the place he's passing through has a seafood restaurant he will absolutely stop there and eat and while that's great and all it also gives him a little depression moment cuz he misses home(really he just misses his parents) but he definitely can't go back so he's like "this is the last time I eat this stuff" but its never the last time. It never is. And along the way he eventually learns to catch fish and cook it himself cuz sometimes no money ya know. But that part gets fixed when he reunites with an old friend and a former enemy.

And then when he's living on the base in space with them and some other allies he actually becomes the best cook in the group but hes kind of an ass about it like "you will eat what I make and you will like it" cuz STILL, god forbid he express he likes these people's company and likes cooking and admits that he gives a shit if they eat well or not. So anyway obviously he makes seafood a lot when they have the resources but like half of them don't like seafood but ya know, you better eat what he makes. But also a lot of the time he doesnt actually wanna cook so he just eats junk and snacks again. He will eat the octopus chips in front of people now tho. They found out and they dont care so he doesnt feel weird about it anymore.

Also after he reconnects with his mom and she moves somewhere better on an island he visits a lot and eats her grilled squid and he's okay with showing that hes super happy about it. He is no longer in his God Forbid Era.

Thank you buddy, thank you. Im actually starving myself. I have not eaten at all and Ive been up for like five hours so Imma go make me some choccy milk, MY favorite. If that counts as food since its a drink. I mean. You consume it. Yeah, fuck it. Thats food. Thank you buddy lol