#anyways i love doctor who and i don’t care how many people hate thirteen

[earlgreydyke]

having never watched the thirteenth doctor, i just caught up to the battle of ranskoor av kolos and i personally love it. i think everyone has really high expectations for a grand finale with multiple parts but i think this was a simple and well executed finale that concluded the season perfectly and the one episode runtime was just right for the narrative.

to me, the episode is a beautiful exploration of faith. the ux are very clearly adopting imagery of the crucifix but are sacrificing themselves for a false genocidal god. they are still able to maintain their faith and with the help of the neural blockers, come to understand that they have gone against the will of their creator, saving five planets (plus earth really!) from destruction in the name of their faith. meanwhile, graham and ryan commit the ultimate act of courage in refraining from avenging the murderer of their loved one in the name of grace. again, a testament to their faith in what they know to be right and what their Grace would have wanted. yaz maintains her faith in the doctor, refusing to leave her side. the doctor maintains her faith in herself. she started this season not able to remember who she was and she ends it fighting the same evil with utter conviction that she can get everyone out of this (all five planets worth of everyone!) she trusts in her intellect and most importantly, she trusts the courage of her companions to abide by their faith (the ux included).

[ramblings-of-a-mad-cat]

I've never met ANYONE who actually likes the Chibnall era. Would you seriously say that it's objectively good?

Brace yourself for unpopular (albeit positive) opinions.

Objectively? I don't know, I tend to feel like media is very much subjective and down to opinion. But on the whole...yeah. I'm gonna say yeah. I think the Chibnall era thus far is every bit as good as the Moffat Era and Davies Era were. It actually blows my mind to see the fandom come together and almost universally agree that the show has gone downhill. It's part of the reason why I kind of stepped away from the Doctor Who fandom because there's something very demoralizing about re-watching clips from Season 12 and seeing literally every comment just talk about how the show is ruined. And if I re-watch old clips, very often I come across comments that talk about how the show "used to" be good, and should have ended with Twelve, etc. I know a little reluctance toward the new Doctor can be part of the transition process, but normally the fans are over it by now.

Things haven't really changed.

I've been re-watching Twelve's era, and found a new appreciation for him. But I re-watched Thirteen's era right beforehand, and you know what? It holds up. Season 11 is remarkably strong. I can't think of a single "bad" episode in that season. It focuses on the characters, and thus it doesn't have nearly as strong ambitions, compared to one of the Moffat seasons, which were clever but often convoluted. They couldn't always stick the landing. (Looking at you, Season 6) But every has it's good parts and it's bad. The same man who wrote The Wedding of River Song and betrayed the entire season's storyline in the process...also wrote The Doctor Falls, which is probably my favorite final episode of any season ever. The Chibnall Era is the same way. The Tsuranga Conundrum isn't really a bad episode, it's just kind of forgettable, apart from the Pting. But then it is immediately followed up by Demons of the Punjab, which is an exceptional story in every way. I want the Thijurians to return for Thirteen's regeneration, I'm saying it.

My point being that even if there are episodes you can't stand in the new era, is that really exclusive to Chibnall? All the way back in Season 1, they had The Long Game, which I remember disliking, but it was sandwiched between Dalek and Father's Day, which are in my opinion, the two best episodes of that season. A lot of people don't like Orphan 55, for example. But it's followed up by Nikola Tesla's Night of Terror. Does anyone really dislike that episode? You're valid if you do, but I think it's really good. Ask me about any episode in the Chibnall Era, and I'll find something to like about it. (Except maybe Arachnids in the UK...and that one's not even bad, just kind of weak.) Because like I said, there is good and bad in every season...and I do think that the fandom has overblown how "bad" the Chibnall Era is...though that may be in part because I think this era is generally good? Incredible companions, solid episodes, a great Doctor, and hey...this era actually made the Daleks scary again. That is impressive. Even most of the hated episodes, like Orphan 55 as I mentioned...I enjoy them.

I stand by that. I think this era is great. If anything, I don't like that they reduced how many episodes we get, because some of these stories, like The Witchfinders and It Takes You Away especially Fugitive of The Judoon, are just begging to be two-parters. Spyfall is the only real two-parter we've had, in my opinion (Ascension of the Cybermen and The Timeless Children feel like two separate stories to me) and the episode was much stronger for having the extra time. If I have one genuine criticism with the Chibnall Era as a whole, it is the stark contrast between Seasons 11 and 12. I love Season 11, I thought it was beautiful. I like it far more than most people. I also truly enjoyed Season 12. But they are worlds apart, with Season 11 feeling so standalone and Season 12 picking up with a big storyline that really hadn't been hinted at all in the previous outing. The tone is also different, with The Doctor and "the fam" having a distance between them that seems to have developed offscreen in between seasons. It was as though Chibnall wanted to give everyone a breather from big overarching plots after the Moffat Era, but then after one season he decided "break's over" because he wanted to tell his story. And that's okay! It is. But it's jarring. Anyway, let's talk about Chibnall's storyline. You know where this is going.

"That" episode.

I meant what I said before. There isn't a single episode that I actively hate as much as say, Listen. Now let's get very controversial, because I know what y'all are thinking. "Not even The Timeless Children?" And I'll just get this out of the way right now: I don't think The Timeless Children, or it's twist, ruins Doctor Who. I don't think it gets anywhere close. I mentioned before that I was demoralized reading the comments on a clip of Doctor Who...to no one's surprise, it was this episode. Now, I may just be biased...after all, I didn't even hate Hell Bent. But while I have my criticisms of Season 12, The Doctor's revised backstory accounts for exactly none of them. You want to know what really bothers me? That we had a seven season buildup to Gallifrey's rescue, a nine season buildup to it's return...only for the show to do nothing with it, and then just destroy it again a couple of seasons later. As someone who loved The Day of The Doctor, I'm mad about that. Among other reasons, destroying Gallifrey is the kind of card you can really only play once.

So no, I don't think The Timeless Children is perfect. The Doctor had a seven season character arc culminating in them learning the lesson that using The Moment would be wrong, and that it was never okay to do something like that. To hear her even consider using The Death Particle, that "Or, a solution" line in response to Ryan appropriately reacting in horror? Yeah, that upset me. I don't like that Gallifrey is gone again, and even if The Doctor wasn't the one to do it, she almost did, and she left someone else to do it in her stead. That bothers me more than The Timeless Child ever could. That being said...the Timeless Child doesn't bother me. Seriously, it blows my mind that people act like this twist ruins Doctor Who. It...really doesn't, guys.

It does not insult the legacy of William Hartnell. He is still The First Doctor. It's not like there isn't a precedent for secret incarnations from The Doctor's past. We didn't start calling Christopher Eccleston The Tenth Doctor after we found out about John Hurt. Nothing can change The First Doctor's status or take it away, nor do I think Chibnall is trying. He is doing what I've actually wanted Doctor Who to do for a while. Give us a story about The Doctor's childhood. (Listen doesn't count, I don't care, that was all kinds of bad.) Let me ask you, what does this really change? I've seen people complain about the revision of The Doctor's history...but there's a precedent for that too. We could play bingo with how many times Clara fundamentally altered or influenced the show's history. She is the reason he started traveling, the reason he chose his Tardis, and the reason he saved Gallifrey. Why doesn't that bother people, if this does?

I also understand it if people dislike this change because they feel as though it makes The Doctor a kind of chosen one, compared to them having just been an average person who wanted to make a difference. I get that. However, this is down to interpretation, and there are so many ways to interpret The Doctor. Some people love it when The Doctor goes dark, other people cannot stand it and view it as out of character. Some people love it when The Doctor is heroic and badass, when they save the day...others would prefer that they take the backseat, teaching the humans how to save the day themselves. "The man who makes people better." And which interpretation you get, where it falls on the spectrum...it will vary from writer to writer. Moffat loved to make everything about The Doctor, and Davies frequently compared him to an angel or a god. This is not the first time that the show has portrayed The Doctor as a godlike being. It's not even close to the first time. And honestly? I don't think this makes The Doctor special or supernatural. I think it makes them a victim, nothing more. A victim of child abuse.

People also disliked this episode for removing the mystery behind The Doctor...but I fail to see how it did that? There are so. Many. Questions. That this finale opens up. Where did The Doctor come from? How and why did they get to our universe? What exactly is The Division? What went down between them and The Doctor? Where is Tecteun? (No, she's not Rassilon...) As the Masters asks, "What did they do to you, Doctor? How many lives have you had?" Amid all of the comments that made me sad, I did see a great one about how the original creator of Doctor Who actually didn't like it when they introduced the Timelords, because she felt that it boxed the show in and removed the mystery behind The Doctor, and how "She would have loved this episode." I agree with that. (Still salty that they destroyed Gallifrey though...) You know, I am genuinely interested in this story and where it's going to go, especially with the sixtieth anniversary approaching. But it depresses me that they might scale it back now, after how much the fandom has risen up against it. Not that I'm saying the fans shouldn't be happy, but...it's clear that a story is trying to be told here, and I think it should have that chance.

To each their own, of course. But I will never understand why this era is so hated.

[colderthancoldest]

Ceasefire

(Read on Ao3 here)

Inspired by: this ask

Word Count: ~1.8k

Summary: Thirteen and Dhawan!Master both really need a hug.

(Fluff piece, hugs, no warnings apply)

Occasions on which the Doctor and the Master pause from their perpetual battles is rare. Over the years, it's gotten less and less common. Back when they were young, all of this- all the battles over Earth, all the threats, all the traps- were much more playful, and so was much easier to pause so that the two of them might grab a bite together and partake in each other's familiar company. However, over time, each slash at each other began to cut deeper and deeper in some failing attempt to 'win' a game that could never be won.

They both loved their fights, they both needed the challenge- but at times, it could become too much. Even for a Time Lord. Or... maybe not a Time Lord, now that they both knew there never really was such a thing.

Point was, their limits had finally been reached. The threshold for pain inflicted upon each other had finally been hit and they both needed time to recuperate before any scheme and/or heroics could resume.

The Master would say it was the Doctor who yielded first.

The Doctor would say it was the Master who suggested it.

Either way they looked at it, a few text messages back and forth from numbers that used to belong to friends later and the Doctor and the Master were staring each other down from opposite sides of the open field.

They had chosen a spot in the middle of nowhere to partake in their agreed upon ceasefire. A place that was hidden by the safety of tall trees and knee-high wildgrass that hid their mutual interest in a way that suggested being nice to each other was the greatest possible sin.

"We agree that this will never be spoken of again? As per our prior arrangement?" the Master questioned skeptically, with a low flat tone and his fists clamped shut.

"Completely. No one will ever know. We keep our mouths shut until long after our souls leave our bodies to rot," the Doctor agreed firmly.

The Master gave a nod to confirm this.

They stood there for a moment more, staring each other down. It was an old concept, but new in practice.

"Are... you okay?" the Doctor asked as the Master shifted from foot to foot, visibly uncomfortable.

The Master shook his head sharply and ignored the way the tips of his ears began to burn red.

"You don't get to ask me that. Not after everything you've done to me. Everything you've put me through," the Master growled through gritted teeth. "I doubt you've ever stopped running long enough to consider the extent of it."

The Master's words didn't linger for long before the Doctor cut through the stillness.

"Me?" the Doctor asked sharply. "What about you! You've killed people. A few years' penance on Earth is the very least you deserve."

"A few years?!" the Master chuckled in the manic, agonizing way he laughed.

He shook his head and caught himself before he could lose his patience.

"Don't push me," he threatened through gritted teeth.

The Doctor took a deep breath of her own.

"Right. That's not why we're here," she reiterated.

The Master gave a nod and took a breath of his own.

"Honestly... I don't want to talk about it either," the Doctor confessed.

She rubbed her arm and stared off at the ground.

The Master's eyes stayed locked on the dirt as well.

After a moment- a long and terrifying moment, the Doctor took a step forward.

The Master instinctively lifted his fists to defend himself at the sign of movement. After a brief second, he shamefully lowered them and attempted to play it off as if it was nothing.

The Doctor let out a sigh, reached out, and... hugged him.

Her arms reached around him, over the Master's own arms where they remained at his sides, and held him.

"I'm... glad you're still alive..." the Doctor admitted softly.

She could hear and feel the Master's breathing speed up and leave his lips unevenly as he froze in place.

It took him a minute to react at all.

The Doctor held him, pressed her face to his shoulder, and let her hands rest on his upper back as she simply soaked in the moment.

All at once, the Master comprehended the act and returned the embrace. He pulled her tight and firm and practically melted against her. His face hid in her shoulder, against the fabric of her coat, and his arms wrapped around her as if he was terrified she would disappear at any moment.

The Doctor could feel from the tense muscles and mild shake of his shoulders that he was fighting tears. She didn't comment on it and instead let her own tears splash down as she let out a small breath of relief.

The Master eventually spoke again. A weak, cautious whisper that the Doctor could only hear because his face was so close to her right ear.

"I haven't been hugged before," he confessed quietly. The words didn't even sound like they were directed at the Doctor. It felt more as if they'd slipped out in a moment of weakness and abrupt realization.

"Not this me, anyways," he continued softly. "And certainly never like this."

He paused, struggling to collect himself long enough to speak.

"I know the feeling," he elaborated, "from lives past."

He shook his head and buried it closer to the Doctor's collar, as if he could hide there. Away from his own words and the emotions that overwhelmed him.

"I... know what it should feel like. I've always know."

He paused. He hesitated.

He trembled as he pressed closer to the Doctor. As if, if he could get close enough, he would be safe, tucked away in her arms.

The Doctor's vision blurred as she willingly pulled him closer and brushed one palm across his upper back to sooth him. She could feel shivers and tremors wrack through his exhausted body as he bit back his emotions.

"This... is far better," he breathed.

The Doctor let out a small chuckle of relief as she carefully soothed the tense muscles of the Master's shoulder within her reach. There was scarring there, scar tissue grown over wounds the Master had never let her know he had. Wounds... that were a direct result of the Doctor's abandonment.

Even so, the Master pressed closer with everything he could. He held her as tight as he could- or at least, as much as he could without hurting her. He clung to her, pretending he would never have to let go- or rather, that she would never leave him- again.

The Doctor kept him safe in her arms and did what little she could to calm him.

They were both a mess of tears by now, but neither was willing to admit it.

The Doctor closed her eyes as she settled her face towards the Master's jaw.

"I... know what you mean..." she agreed softly.

She sighed. "Every new life we're... the same, but also somebody else entirely. I know what the people I knew were like, but I don't know them personally anymore.

Someone... else knew them. Someone else did all those things. And this new me... I've just taken their place."

The Master remained quiet.

"But not you," the Doctor smiled.

The Master shifted closer.

"You never minded-" the Doctor continued, "-that every new me was different, that I had to learn you over again and again. You were patient with me... when you were O."

The Master tensed, but refused to look at her.

"Why did you wait so long?" the Doctor asked softly.

What she was really asking was why he was the Doctor's friend for so long when he could have revealed himself at any time. Why did he wait for her.

The Master shook his head against her.

His voice was weak and soft yet steady when he finally replied.

"You're mine," he grumbled firmly, with the confidence of someone who knew his words were indisputable fact.

The Doctor only chuckled through her silent tears.

"What's that supposed to mean?"

The Master paused briefly to think over this response. He knew the answer well- but not how to explain it.

"This you is the match for this me. I had to wait," he said, faintly annoyed. "For our timelines to line up again... for this you."

The Doctor chuckled again, more warmly this time.

"And?" she asked, "Was I worth it?"

A low rumble of a laugh purred from the Master's throat.

"Are you kidding? This you is the most cruel, ignorant, insufferable bastard I could ever have the misfortune of knowing. And, insult to injury, you give decent hugs."

The Doctor could practically feel him smirk.

"Of course you were worth the wait."

The Doctor laughed, warm and wholeheartedly, and even the Master let a chuckle of his own slip through.

"And I suppose," the Doctor rolled her eyes playfully, "you're reasonably tolerable yourself."

"Careful, Doctor. That nearly makes it sound like you don't hate me," the Master prodded amusingly.

The Doctor bushed her fingers over the back of the Master's head. She gently fixed his hair into place and then sighed with a heavy heart.

"Of course I don't hate you, you idiot."

The Master fell silent but let out a small hum as he settled down. The fear and uneasiness from when he had arrived had long since faded, and the Doctor's own worries disappeared along with them.

They both wanted to apologize- for so many, many things- but neither did.

When their legs grew tired, they allowed themselves to settle onto the soft ground, hidden among the grass and beneath the towering trees.

Without anyone to witness, far from even their Tardises' prying eyes. Without hope, that any of this whatever-it-was between them could ever be fixed. And without any reward, without the equal shares in the universe they had promised each other in lives long past.

They layed there until they fell asleep beneath the beautiful stars as they did their best to forget all the now-broken promises they had once made beneath them.

"I don't hate you either," the Master eventually divulged once they were both more than half-asleep in each others' arms.

"Never completely. Although it would certainly be easier if I did."

The Doctor hummed a warm acknowledgement, but knew better than to reply. If they pretended not to hear what the other said, then they would never have to address the difficult matter.

By the next time they met, they would be at each other's throats again. There was no doubt about it.

By this time tomorrow, they would be wishing this had never happened and doing their very best to forget the warmth it brought to their lonely hearts.

However, for now, they both needed a hug from the person they cared about most. And it was through no fault of their own that the person dearest to their hearts, and their most hated enemy, just so happened to be one in the same....

[bokunoheroanalysisforthefuture]

Chapter 14! Don’t have any particular funny quips this morning, so let’s get into things.

Well I mean there’s some jokes to be made about the third movie trailer, but that can be Later. 

[No. 14 - Encounter with the Unknown]

Nice opening art to the chapter, very classy (and I am sorry I only realized that was a pun after I wrote it). Still has Momo in the saner version of her outfit, as opposed to what comes later…

The first actual page of the chapter has three close up shots of the major villains of the arc - Shigaraki, the Nomu, and Kurogiri. It also repeats the goal of the villains from last chapter - to kill the symbol of peace. Having the Nomu being a stand-in for AFO and/or the doctor also refers to them being major players (urgh another damn pun) for the series as a whole. Possibly the doctor so that these are the three ‘major’ pawns of AFO? Sounds fine with me.

We get another wide-angle shot of the villains coming in through the portal created by the wizard Kurogiri. Hori really went ham on the designs for some of them, it’s so wild, I wonder how many are references I just am not getting?

But yeah, some of the kids are in disbelief about villains attacking, wondering why they’d be dumb enough to sneak into a school for heroes. Momo asks about intruder sensors, which Thirteen confirms exist. Shouto questions whether they’re only at the USJ or also at the main building, but that in either case, if the sensors aren’t working, it has to be a quirk involved.

He then goes on to note how the USJ is far from campus, and they’d picked a time when few people would be there, so they perhaps not as dumb as they appear, and have to have an objective, because it’s a well-coordinated sneak attack.

(Honey, he literally just said they were there to kill the symbol of peace, and maybe some of you kiddos as well.)

...no wait a second. The villains are at the bottom of the stairs, and the class is at the top. The only two people who could have reasonably heard anything would be Shouji and Jirou.

shigaraki, stepping out of the portal: so yeah, we're here to kill the symbol of peace

the class, at the top of the stairs: wait did he say something?

shouji, who heard it perfectly fine: I think he said something about krill and cheese

jirou, who also heard it perfectly fine: no no it was cymbals and fleece

the rest of the class: ???????????

But yeah, I’m gonna guess it was Jirou and Shouji who relayed what the villains were saying to the rest of the class? Which had to be awful. (Of course, maybe Shigi also had to repeat himself but louder, and thus give up the raspy voice bit for a bit because that shit does not carry at all.)

Anyways! Aizawa tells Thirteen to begin evacuation and to try calling the school, repeating Shouto’s conclusion that a villain is jamming the sensors - likely an electric-type. He then tells Kaminari to try using his own quirk to signal for help, which the boy agrees to. 

Izuku is worried about Aizawa’s chances fighting alone, noting that he can’t nullify all their quirks at once. He also notes that Eraserhead’s fighting style is erasure and a quick binding capture, not a head-on battle. Aizawa interrupts him to point out that no good hero is a one-trick pony, before telling Thirteen one last time to take care of the class and then jumping down the stairs and into the fray.

Eraserhead sugoi~ 

Wow that was cursed to type, never doing that again! 

Helmet-villain tells the villain’s ranged squad to move, with whip-hair and minotaur guy prepping themselves behind him. One of them (I think whip-hair?) notes that the intel said it was just supposed to be Thirteen and All Might there, so who’s this dude coming at them? Minotaur doesn’t know, but he’s coming at them alone. Helmet-villain concluded the guy is a dead fool, then, and all three of them are prepared to use their quirks-

Except, well, performance anxiety. Eraserhead, with the strength belied by his lanky build, whips his scarf around all of them and yoinks them into a three-person headbutt that takes them all out at once. Honestly, this is just more fuel for that idea that he has a secondary telekinetic quirk that allows him to pull off this kind of stuff. 

Some random villain recognizes Eraserhead, and that he can cancel quirks by looking at you. An evil Machamp / Graveller villain laughs and steps forward, wondering out loud whether that quirk-cancelling trick works against ‘heteromorphic types.’ Which I know is more classically known as ‘mutants’, but I kinda like the term more, even if it’s just a translation thing and not the right term. Eraserhead also uses ‘operative’ and ‘transformative’ as terms for the other two ‘branches’ of quirk shortly after, which again, pretty neat. 

Anyways, not to get ahead of things. Eraserhead punches Machamp guy in the face while confirming his quirk can’t cancel mutation quirks, only emitter and transformation. Still, we see him easily kicking said villain’s ass as he explains that mutant-types tend to excel in close-quarters combat, which is why he’s got countermeasures for them. 

Kurogiri is impressed. Or maybe surprised? Hmm.

Shigaraki starts muttering analysis, noting that Eraserhead is good at hand-to-hand, and that the goggles hide his eyes so that the villains don’t know whose quirk he’s cancelling. Even a whole mob isn’t slowing him down. Shigaraki scratches at the side of his throat as he states how he hates pro heroes, and that ordinary villains don’t stand a chance against them.

Right next to that panel, thus making it all the creepier and likely meant to draw parallels, we see Izuku also lingering behind to watch the fight, admiring Eraserhead’s ability to hold out even while outnumbered. Tenya shouts at him that this is not a time for analysis, and that they need to evacuate. 

Kurogiri then abruptly appears before them, looming over them as he states that he won’t allow that. We get brief face shots of Izuku, Thirteen, and Eraserhead, with only the last having dialogue - apparently he was suppressing Kurogiri’s quirk there, but when he blinked he’d already managed to get over there? Eraserhead considers him the deadliest one there, which I mean, true, but also…

Kurogiri condences himself down a bit while greeting them, and I love how alternate font is used for him to convey his own manner of speech. He introduces the group as the League of Villains, and tells the class that they’ve come to UA - to the bastion of heroism - to end the life of the symbol of peace. Which, since this is majorly shocking news to Izuku, confirms my earlier belief that there’s no way the class heard them before when Shigi was talking at the bottom of the stairs. 

Kurogiri’s font changes back to normal as he continues on, explaining that the villains were under the impression All Might would be there, but it seems his schedule was revised. It’s no matter, however, his own role remains unchanged. 

...interesting. Almost like he’s looking through the shadowy mist instead of being it. Hmm.

Thirteen prepares her quirk for use by flipping open a finger-cap on their glove. However, the first two to rush into the dray are Kirishima and Katsuki, pulling a pincer attack with their quirks. Katsuki states ‘not if we end you first’, while Kirishima bets that Korogiri hadn’t seen that move coming. Kurogiri, seemingly unaffected, reforms himself as he notes that it was close, and that even as students, they are the best of the best. 

Thirteen is in a panic, telling the two to get back (because they’re in the way of her own quirk), but it’s too late.

Kurogiri spreads his shadows out across the class, separating them and enveloping most of them as he tells them to begone, to writhe in torment until they breathe their last. Shouto is shown on his own, Tsuyu, Izuku, and Mineta in a group (as well as Aoyama? Hmm), Katsuki and Kirishima in theirs, and then Momo, Kaminari, and Jirou as the last. The rest are gotten out of the shadows in time by Tenya and Shouji, with Tenya holding Ochako and Sato while Shouji is guarding Sero and Ashido.

(Wonder if Aoyama ended up on the edge of the flood zone and managed to blast himself out and to safety? Would seem to fit with him being just off the edge of their group… then again, he’s standing closer to Ojiro, so might have gone with him instead...)

(Also, Hagakure’s position here suggests she should have been grabbed by Tenya or Shouji, but she apparently ended up with Shouto? Hmmm.)

Our last panel of the day is seeing a whole swirling mass of shadow covering basically the entirety of the top of the stairs, with someone in the class shouting after everyone. I wonder what happened to most of the class?

Guess we have to wait for next time. 

[thedreammweaver]

You really thought I’d leave? (Burton-Schumacherverse riddlebird , trans!Oswald)

Warnings: Dysphoria, misunderstandings, accidental misgendering, Clueless Ed is clueless, brief mention of suicidal thoughts of no physical consequence, medium to mild amount of blood, forced to come out by stupid dumb uterus, so. many. penguin. tears., A N G S T, pain, suffering, the lads talk about their trauma, 🙃🙃🙃🙃🙃🙃 (it turns out okay though)

Ed was still feeling his post heist high when he threw himself onto Oswald’s bed while Oswald was hanging up his coat, hat, and umbrella. Ed looked over when he heard Oswald sigh, he was rubbing at his back like it hurt. “I’m sorry..” Ed blurted out.

“It’s not your fault.” Oswald said flatly as he went behind an ornate screen in the corner of his bedroom to change into pajamas. Ed had wondered a few times why Oswald didn’t change in front of him but after all they’d only been in a relationship for a few weeks, it felt like longer to Ed, but maybe the other man just needed more time. Ed rested his head in his hands, feeling guilty

“I was being theatrical and I took too long...if I had hurried up like you said batman wouldn’t have gotten there in time to hurt you..”

Oswald scoffed “It’s OK, Eddie! I needed to let off some steam anyways.”

“If getting thrown into a cement wall where you could’ve been seriously hurt and I would’ve spent forever wishing it had been me instead because..” ‘Because I love you. C’mon, Ed, just say it!’ Ed screamed at himself in his mind “well... because it just wouldn’t be right..I mean if that’s you’re idea of letting off steam then sure.” Ed pouted, kicking himself mentally and burying his face in Oswald’s bed, the comforter smelled like him which lifted Ed’s spirits a bit. “I don’t wanna go home tonight.” He hadn’t meant to say that out loud but didn’t regret it either. “Then stay,” Oswald said, coming out from behind the screen now dressed in black and purple satin pjs “I mean...if this- or- we work out you’ll probably be staying here half the time anyhow, right?” “Yeah, I guess so.” Ed said absently getting off the bed to peel himself out of the green glittery spandex suit he was in, he only had his briefs and a plain tank top underneath, he’d learned to wear some sort of undershirt with the spandex if he was going to Oswald’s after unless he wanted his core to feel an ice box. “Look! The bat got you too, we’re even.” Oswald chuckled pointing out bruises on Ed’s arm and shoulder as he got under the covers. Ed rolled his eyes and crawled into bed next to Oswald he had been afraid this would be awkward but the idea of falling asleep next to Oswald came naturally and he was soon asleep.

Ed was stirred awake just as easily as he’d drifted off by Oswald quicky getting out of bed and muttering curses “Shit, shit, shit...goddamnit..” Ed sat up a bit “Wha...Ozzie, what is it??” He asked groggily. “Uh- it’s- just- nothing, nothing just uh-uh stay there or you maybe better sleep on the couch instead uh...just- go back to sleep. Don’t turn the lights on.” After that panicked deluge of unclear instruction Oswald ran off to the bathroom down the hallway. Ed still drowsy, now worried and curious he turned on the lamp by the bed and looked over to Oswald’s side of the bed, all he could make out was a blurry red blob. He huffed and clumsily reached for his glasses, he’d left them on the nightstand before he and Oswald had gone on the heist as he’d gotten changed at Oswald’s too. His eyes were slowly adjusting and the red blob revealed itself to be a sizeable bloodstain, Ed’s heart dropped. He got up and ran down the hall to the bathroom as well. When Ed went to open the door there was a shrill “DON’T COME IN!!” which made him jump and step back. “But Oswald you’re bleeding!”

“I know, Ed, it’s normal...” Ed could hear that Oswald’s teeth were gritted. “That was a lot of blood Oswald! You could have internal damage from “letting off steam” with the bat earlier. I have to take you to the hospital, I know you hate doctors but-“

“It is normal, Edward! Now leave me be!!”

Ed was taken aback, Oswald had never yelled at him like this before. He put his ear to the door, he could hear plastic ripping and crinkling, was Oswald trying to tend to the damage himself? “Oswald, please please let me help. I know you have a lot of weird..stuff going on but bleeding like that isn’t normal.”

“Yes, it is. This has nothing to do with that son of a bitch Batman, this happens every month..”

“EVERY MONTH?! Since when??”

“...since I was about twelve or thirteen..I don’t remember.”

Ed was bewildered “Since you were- you mean as in years old right??? Oswald! That could be indicative of SERIOUS health problems!!”

“Ed just leave me alone please...stop worrying, it’s fine.”Oswald’s gruff voice was beginning sound shaky. Ed was wracking his brain trying to figure out what was going on. “Oswald please talk to me, if this is “normal” I want to understand why..I-I mean is it like the stuff that comes out of your mouth or-“ “No! It’s not like that...”

“Then what??-“

“Gimme a minute! I’ve never really had to..vocalize it..before..”

Ed leaned his head on the door, now he felt confused and impatient. Oswald cleared just throat nervously “So...I’m a man right except I- Except I got born with the wrong sort of...equipment for that..”

“What??” Ed asked, more a noise of exasperation than a question. “Jesus, Ed- I...got born with a chick’s body but later I figured out I’m not a chick alright, not really..not on the inside-We’re both guys but if you wanted to narrow things down to a strictly physical matter I have more in common with the catbitch than with you..”

Ed’s brow furrowed “So you’re a woman?”

“NO!! GOD NO, ED!! DID YOU EVEN HEAR A WORD I JUST FUCKING SAID?!”

“Okay! Okay! I-I-just-“

“DON’T EVER SAY THAT SHIT TO ME AGAIN!!”

“OKAY!!” There was an uncomfortable beat of silence before Ed spoke again “So.....what are are you?” Oswald scoffed, a pitiful tone to the noise “You’re just trying your damndest to make me feel like shit aren’t you?” Ed’s heart broke when he heard Oswald’s voice break. “No! No! I- Oswald, I swear I’m just trying to understand. S-So you’re a guy? Right? On the inside..that’s what you said? But you have...girl..parts? Then-so the blood.......oh......you-...you’re just..menstruating?” Oswald didn’t answer him. “Oswald??” Ed gently pushed the door open. Oswald was on the floor leaning against the bathtub, he was just in his underpants and pajama top now, the blood stained bottoms tossed aside. Parts of his thighs were also bloodstained, he was sobbing into his flippers, a pathetic gasping hitching noise. Ed got on his knees beside Oswald, he’d never seen the man cry before and it was making him panic “Oswald, please...I didn’t mean to- did-did...I get it right the last time at least..?” Oswald whined “Yes!...yes...but it doesn’t matter...you don’t like me anymore..” “What?? Of course I still lo- like you.” Ed grabbed the other man by the shoulders to make them face eachother. Oswald took his flippers down from his tear drenched face “Just wait, you say that now but in time..you’ll get frustrated and you’ll leave, your need for a “real man” will win out over any feelings you claim to have for me. Eddie, I’ve been through this before..I know how this works..” Oswald broke down into sobs again “Except it’s worse this time..because you actually fucking matter to me, you’re not someone I paid to tell me they love me just because I needed to to hear it on a shitty night.” He was beginning to hyperventilate now “I-I never needed anyone before like I need you and I-I didn’t mean to keep this from you but I got so scared! I was so SCARED!! Scared because I think if you left me especially because of this I’d-I’d just have to go and find the tallest building in Gotham and throw myself off...see if maybe one penguin an fly after all...this poor old bird couldn’t take that, not after everything....not after all this. I thought about it so much and I’d really rather die than have you leave me, Eddie, leave me like every other little sparkling thing that cuddled up to me as if I meant something to them! Like my parents the night I was born!! They doomed me to a life of being thrown away. Th-They cursed me that night do you understand?! An-and I so need you to be the one that breaks that curse cause I. AM. telling. you! I can’t stand that happening again..not one time more...please...not once more..please.....pleease...” Oswald begged as he collapsed into Ed’s arms, sobbing, burying his face in the other man’s chest. “Oh...Oswald I- please don’t talk like that...like you’re nothing..” Ed felt tears flowing down his own face as he cradled his bird. “I..love you. God, Oswald, I love you..you really thought I’d leave?” Oswald raised his head a bit “...Eddie, people get killed for being like me...you can never tell how people will react to what they don’t understand..” Ed absently rocked himself and Oswald softly “...I love you...I wanted to say it for so long but I was scared too, I thought you were gonna be like these type of guys I messed around with in school, they’d call you baby when you’re alone and act like they really care but then you see them with their girlfriends the next day, acting like they don’t know you...and you just feel like a fucking idiot all because they don’t like who they are... I never thought I could mean as much to you as...how you said.” Oswald wrapped his arms around Ed’s waist. “You love me? Why?” There was a pitiful wistfulness in his voice. Ed didn’t have to think for long “You’re warm. You’re the only thing that makes me feel held, only thing that makes me feel safe, wanted. It’s like I wasn’t even real before I met you...I was just here..barely. I carry your warmth with me everywhere now, so I can feel real all the time..instead of like I’m floating away. You...obviously love me too, why?”

“You make me feel human. I got too used to being an animal after being treated like one...manipulated like one. You talk to me like- I don’t know...like you care..” They sat there holding eachother for a few minutes more until Oswald’s crying resumed “It wasn’t enough that I had to get born like this..” he sobbed gesturing to his flippers and nose “I had to get born with the wrong insides too...as if I wasn’t a complete freak already..” Ed held the shorter man tighter “No, no, no, no, no, don’t say that, Oswald, don’t say that,” Ed cooed, stroking Oswald’s hair “I promise I’m going to learn how to treat you right, after all this time you deserve it..I promise I’m gonna learn, okay? And I’m not leaving, you don’t have to be scared anymore..” Oswald was still crying, Ed scooted back a bit so he could see Oswald’s face. “Look, look, I-I can run you a bath so you can get cleaned up and I’ll take care of the bed, then you don’t have to think about it anymore tonight. Would that be good...if I did that?” Ed offered earnestly. Oswald sighed and nodded, Ed smiled weakly and cupped the other man’s cheek “Good-..good, so I’ll- I’m gonna do that and you can stay here and just relax, please.” Ed kissed Oswald’s cheek before getting up and turning on the bath to let it fill while he stripped the bed. Before leaving the bathroom he just had to say it once more “I love you, Oswald.” “I love you too, asshole..” Oswald grumbled, while wiping the dried, drying, and still wet tears from his face. Ed sighed happily knowing that his bird was starting to calm down already, and basking in the knowledge that he was loved back.

[surveys-at-your-service]

Survey #376

“when the wind bends the branch to softly touch me  /  when the band plays your song  /  i feel strong enough to keep dreaming”

If your s/o smoked pot/did drugs would you care? Yes, but for pot that's only because it's illegal here. I also find smoking to be a turn-off, but I'd be able to look past that if it was for actual health reasons. Do people ever call you by your last name? No. Has the last person you dated/fell in love with ever seen you cry? Yes. Where are you going on your next vacation (or where do you WANT to go)? I've got none planned, nor do I know where I'd want to prioritize. Like there's South Africa, but I first need to get healthier before I could handle the heat and trudging through sand. I want to go to Yellowstone National Park to spread Teddy's ashes there (seeking permission of course), but again, I need to be in better shape before I go on a venture of photographing there, as well. I need to be healthier to do a lot of the things I want to... Do you own anything bought in another country? No. Who do you text the most? Sara. Four things you wish you had? Better health (including mental), financial stability, a job, and motivation to indulge more in my artistic hobbies. What was the last thing you cried about? Stress regarding this dog we're stuck with. What is your favorite Elvis song? Probably "You're The Devil In Disguise." Do you think you could be the next American Idol? Ha, absolutely not. Do you prefer reading fiction or non-fiction? Fiction, by a long shot. Does anybody send you money in the mail for your birthday? No. My grampa used to, but he's been dead a couple years. Who is one person you met and automatically didn’t like? I was not a fan of a doctor I once saw for my tremors. She was very rude and just threw the idea of me having Parkinson's or something at what, 17 years old or whatever? My psychiatrist knows her as well and knows she's a whackjob. Heard her name and was essentially like "ew" lmao. What monster would you be most afraid to have in your closet? A male one with a knife, I guess. I really hate knives. And men scare me anyway. Which Adam Sandler movie do you like the most? I don't know, he's in too many to possibly think of one right off the top of my head. Who was one of your first celebrity crushes? Jesse McCartney was my first true love, haha. Have you ever been hit on through text messages? Yes. Do you have to do any yard work? No. Have you ever mowed the lawn? No. Do you get an allowance? No. Did you ever know your great grandparents? I think I knew one? There was this woman from my childhood I knew as "GG" for "great grandma," but I have no recollection of who she was related to or even if she was directly related to me. I remember that I really really liked her, though. Do you like the taste of Tums? It's the texture I really don't like. The candy-like Tums though, y'know, not the chalky ones, I like more than someone should like medicine, haha. How about Pepto Bismol? Omfg no. Do you have a fast or slow metabolism? I have a slow metabolism, but thank Christ it's not as bad as when I was on Abilify. That stupid fucking medicine was the reason I gained so much weight that I haven't been able to lose. What’s your favorite onomatopoeia? (Crash, bang, zoom, meow) I dunno. Do you eat ramen? There's only one specific kind of ramen I've had that I like: Yakisoba's spicy chicken one. Sweet or regular pickles? Regular. I don't like sweet pickles. What kind of dreams do you have most often? Since my nightmares started, violent ones. I'm usually trying to defend myself or lashing out at someone myself. What do you do for personal growth? I try to be a deep thinker, for one. This can way too easily lead to overthinking, but I appreciate that I think it at least helps me learn from my mistakes and work towards making me a better person. I need to start challenging my anxiety more, as that would definitely be massive growth... If you could read anyone’s mind, who would be the first person you’d read? Jason's, only because all I want to know is if he thinks I was emotionally abusive after the breakup or not. But I also don't want to know. Do you have a makeup item or style trick that you feel improves your look significantly and that you feel like you couldn’t go without now that you have it? No. What’s your favourite cereal? Probably Cinnamon Toast Crunch, but I like a lot of cereals. Do you prefer red wine or white wine? I don't like wine. Way too bitter. Do you read Reddit? If so, how often and what subreddits do you like? I don't, but I've thought about lurking on a reptile husbandry one or something like that. Might learn some stuff. But at the same time, there are so many conflicting and very strong opinions amongst hobbyists to the point of awful toxicity that I'd rather not read. Have you recently broken up with a significant other or even just a friend? No. Have you ever eaten at a restaurant and left without paying? God no. When was the last time you played a board game? What did you play? Probably Scrabble back when Sara visited. Do you primarily use cash or card for your purchases? Why? Cash, because I don't have a debit or credit card. Do you believe sex should be mandatory in an ongoing dating relationship? Um, no? Some people don't care for it, and that's completely fine. Have you ever recorded yourself doing a cover of a song? No. Any secrets you’d never tell anyone? No matter how close they are to you? Yes. Do you like deviled eggs? NO. FUCK that yolk shit. What career are you most interested in? I still think my first career goal, a paleontologist, would be most interesting and exciting. Like just IMAGINE discovering a new dinosaur. And it's such a job of passion - you have to be so, SO careful and invest so much time in slowly recovering it from millions of years of rock and sand and time. I can only imagine the feeling of accomplishment when an excavation is complete. Have you ever seen a rooster? Yeah? What do you think about religion? Honestly, I personally wish it had never been a thing. It's brought with it so much hatred and bigotry, but I do acknowledge at the same time it's brought great comfort and hope to some people, and that's wonderful. But just all things considered, I feel it's done more harm than good. What’s your favorite sweetheart name (baby, honey, angel, dumpling) Probably "lovely." Has a little kid ever fallen asleep on your lap before? Yes, back when I babysat my neighbor's kid once. Have you ever thrown a grenade? Yikes, no. Have you ever talked face to face with someone famous before? No. Have you ever owned a rocking horse? I don't think so? If you could meet anyone in the world who would it be? HMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMM Have you ever wished you were dead? Yes. Is it awkward when people start talking all deep around you? No, I actually like deep convos. Have you ever played the old school Pac Man arcade game? Possibly? Ever played Mario Karts on Nintendo 64? No. Have you ever been scuba diving? No. Can you surf/boogie board? No. Do you like Chinese food, Mexican food, or American food better? American. What’s your favorite thing to order from Taco Bell? Cheese quesadilla and fiesta potatos. Sometimes I get the cinnabon delight thingies, but I avoid 'em with how unhealthy they are. Do you like hot, cold, or lukewarm showers? Pretty hot. Do you like to swing? I LOVED swinging as a kid. I haven't done it in a very long time now. How about jumping on a trampoline? I loved that as a kiddo, too. I haven't done that in years. What are you favorite color eyes? Sapphire blue or like an emerald green. Do you have long arm hair? Nah, at least I don't think so. What third generation console is your favorite? PS3, Xbox 360, or Wii? I loved my PS3. I'm still so bummed mine broke. How often do you like to have sex? I'm not sexually active, but even when I was, I didn't care. Do you have a facial expression you seem to pull a lot? What is it? Not really. I think I look stoic most of the time. Do you always listen to music when you’re online? No; I usually have a let's play or something like that on that I can split my screen and watch while doing something else. If so, what are you currently listening to? I'm listening to "Love Goes On And On" by Lindsey Stirling and Amy Lee right now. Do you ever forget how to do really simple things? Like what? Yes, like how to control the laundry machine and other things like that. There's just so many options that I never, ever remember what to set it to, no matter how many times Mom shows me. That's how my memory is with most things these days, really... Were you born with naturally straight teeth? No; I needed braces. If you were the opposite gender, what name would you like to be called? Uhhh maybe Severin. Do you prefer original or sour Skittles? I love both, but sour wins. What about chocolate or peanut M&M’s? I also enjoy both, but the original are better. Your favourite band: Do you prefer their old or new stuff? That's like... impossible to answer, lol. I just love everything. Do you check to make sure your ear phones are going in the right ear? No. Do you secretly still listen to Ace of Base? I have no idea who that is. Have you ever broken someone else’s bone? No, thank goodness. I'd feel awful. Is it stupid to think you can write a book at thirteen? No?????????? There are incredibly talented writers out there at young ages. Hell, I remember as a kid, I wanted to be the youngest published author way before that age. Are you ever embarrassed about what you dream about? There've been some I wouldn't share. Have you ever had sex with someone as a favor? No, and I never would. Does your mom let you date? I'm 25, my dude. She let me when I felt ready, though. If you had the last person you kissed’s Facebook password, would you go snooping through their stuff? Why or why not? She doesn't have one, but hypothetically, fuck no. Because that's none of my damn business, and it still wouldn't be even if we were still dating. Have you ever fainted? If so, when was the last time? If not have you ever come close? I've fainted once when I was a teen and have come close many other times. Ever take a keyboarding class? Do you type using the skills you learned in class, or how you used to before you took the class? Yeah; it was mandatory for I think one year in middle school. I type how I was taught in there. Do you find your best friend’s significant other/crush attractive? She doesn't have an s/o, and idk who her "real" crush is, as much as she'd love Frieza to be real, haha. What do you do with your clothes that don’t fit anymore or just don’t want? Donate them. Do you cut out coupons? My mom will keep some fast food ones she gets in the mail sometimes. Did you ever breathe in helium and talk funny afterwards? I think I did once at a birthday party, but I'm unsure. Would you ever open your own business? If so, what kind of business could you imagine yourself having? I want to be a freelance photographer so, so badly. I want to specialize in nature and wildlife, but having a boudoir studio would be great to help keep me afloat, plus I adore the art of boudoir. I've shot it once for an old friend, and by god, I loved how empowered it made her feel, especially as a plus-sized woman. She adored the pictures, and I'd just love to help other clients feel like they're gorgeous in their unique body, too. Last type of candy you ate? I had a donut from Starbuck's yesterday. Did you decorate your house for Halloween? If so, how many decorations? Did you go all out, or just put up a few things? Mom and I don't really decorate anymore. :/

[thegodshavehorns]

Dave Strider and the Hollowed Heart (3/5)

Chapter 3: Love | Death

Your name is Dave Strider, and you are thirteen years old. This is the day that you’re going to remember, more than any other. Even if you live forever this day will ring out clearly for millions of years to come.

You spend a lot of time at hospitals. That’s where your friends are— and maybe you’re a little weird, having gods for friends and hanging around the dying. But between the sword-fighting lessons and the smuppets, you've never exactly been a normal kid.

The doctors barely pay you any heed as you walk through the halls this time. They’re used to you, and their only prayer is that your friends don’t scare away anyone that needs immediate attention. Some people just plain never go to this hospital. They add another thirty minutes to their trip just so they don’t have to go here. And other people, of course, slit their wrists or guzzle pills in the hopes that the Forgiver of Sins will pass them on the way.

You’ve seen it happen. You’ve seen it all. People who have hurt themselves, and people in the act of hurting themselves. People who have gotten what they wanted, or what they thought they wanted, as their hearts get swapped out and replaced and interchanged like so many puzzle pieces. Nepeta does it when she’s asked and she does it when she’s bored. She says that it’s like breathing, that it’s easier to let it happen than to hold it all in, and you wonder how that must feel.

But you aren’t here for games today. This is business, as sure as the gods live. Your Bro has never been too chill with the gods being all up and in your business like they are, but you’re going to make it up to him. All that worry that he’s suffered on your account is going to be paid back with interest.

All you have to do is sit by his bedside and wait.

Nepeta isn’t there. You didn’t tell her and… As bad as it feels to acknowledge it, she only cares about Bro because you do. She only listens to what you have to say about him because you’re saying it. She won’t find out about any of this until after you’ve told her. And you think that you’d like to be alone. At least until she appears.

She’ll stop for you. She has to.

You’ve done the calculations. GardenGnostic on the SBHJ forum helped you out. You got some basic figures, some estimates that GG got from some mysterious unnamed source, and then you crunched the numbers. If Aradia visits every single intelligent being in the universe, which is sort of the thing that she does, then she could be a hundred trillion years old before she finished. A hundred trillion years of personal history. When, in all that time, did she meet you? When did she become your friend? And when is she coming to talk with Bro?

She’s always known who you were when you come to the hospital with Nepeta. You want to take that as a good sign, that she has some sort of system to this thing and doesn’t just bounce around like she’s the timey-wimey ball of a cosmic pinball machine.

You spend your time waiting for her to arrive, hoping that your guesses are right, and hoping that she’ll care enough to have a word with you. Bro doesn’t wake up. They’re not sure when he will. If he will.

The clock turns round and round forever, endlessly tracking the minutes and hours, and you wonder if this is why she’s called the Clockwork Witch. Or maybe there’s some other reason why.

Eventually, you get impatient. You wonder if maybe she visited him some other time. Maybe your Bro won’t ever wake up and she grabbed him before the truck hit. But you won’t let him just die like this, some shitty mundane death, one out of thirty-three million.

“Aradia Megido. Aradia Megido.” You nearly shout the name. She can’t help but hear you. Wherever she is, she’s hearing you. She knows you’re calling. “Aradia Megido.” You’ll keep it up for as long as you need to, and if he dies then you’ll fucking send her back and change the way things went. “Aradia Megido.”

She comes like a sinking gale. You dare to think you feel her before you see her, but then there she is, and the whole world is silent. The beeping machines have quieted and frozen, and even your Bro has been left out of this moment-between-moments.

“Th-there was an accident,” you begin, but then you quiet down as she lifts a hand. She does not look in your direction, but at your Bro.

“i kn0w why y0u called me,” she says in burgundy Tinge. “i kn0w what he is t0 y0u”

“Then you’ll save him,” you say, but she shakes her head. Not sadly, either. Her eyes still appear white to you, painted over on the eyelids and shut tight.

“But we’re friends. Aradia, I thought we were friends!”

You don’t understand. She can freeze time. She can traverse its lanes like some kind of sleek shiny time convertible, cruising without crashing and crushing, splattering blood on the pavement and STOP. DAVE. FOCUS.

Anyway, she can bring people through time. When she is especially gracious, she can bring the dying to their loved ones, to offer last goodbyes or see the children they died too young to be remembered by. And somewhere out there, in the millions and billions of years that the universe will keep turning, they can fix him. Compared to that, she wouldn’t even have to bring him very far.

And all that she gives you… All that she says, as if it’s any kind of excuse, is “everything c0mes t0 an end”

Aradia vanishes, and in her wake comes the wail of the machine. The doctors rush in, but they know as well as you that he’s dead.

She already did it. She waited with him as the rest of the world was frozen. She had her words with him, answered his questions and expressed her hollow condolences, and then he died, and she didn’t let you say goodbye.

You hate her so much that it hurts.

[msjr0119]

We Belong

Part 10 - Heaven

Evangeline Bruley returns to Cordonia to take over her families Duchy. She was betrothed to the now King, however he is engaged to Duchess Riley but still has lingering feelings towards his first love. What will happen during her time back in Cordonia?

Just using combined tag list- if you want to be removed just let me know 😊

@pedudley @kacie-0156 @loveellamae @annekebbphotography @burnsoslow @ladyangel70 @kingliam2019 @bbrandy2002 @butindeed @bascmve01 @drakewalker04 @captain-kingliamsqueen @duchessemersynwalker @kozabaji @texaskitten30 @ibldw-main @kimmiedoo5 @nikkis1983 @gnatbrain @walker7519 @lodberg @cmestrella @hopefulmoonobject @addictedtodrakefanfic @angi15h @liamxs-world @rafasgirl23415 @notoriouscs @yukinagato2012 @dcbbw @qammh-blog @nz1091 @cordonianroyalty @custaroonie @seriouslybadchoices @rainbowsinthestorm @princess-geek @jared2612 @desiree---1986 @gardeningourmet @twinkle-320 @queenjilian @forthebrokenheartedthings-blog @princessleac1 @scarletreesex

Thankyou @pedudley and @kacie-0156 for pre-Reading, my minds all over the place at the moment so I could have wrote utter garbage 🤣 YOU LITTLE SUPERSTARS 😘

Warnings: Drama sorry not in this chapter 😉...FLUFF! What is wrong with me? I never do a full chapter of fluff 🤣 , closure after a miscarriage, matchmaking friends 🙌🏼, swearing.

Characters belong to Pixelberry apart from OC’s; Duchess Evangeline Bruley and Duke Tobias Farbridge.

*****

“What are you doing here?” Evie asked, believing they both had an ESP moment- both thinking about seeing each other and not leaving it a minute later. Handing her the flowers he had chosen, he kissed her on the cheek. His touch seemed to linger there for a moment, until he began to nervously fidget.

“I hope you like them, I know it’s not much but... I just needed you to know that I care still. I wanted to see you, I couldn’t wait until tomorrow. Are you going somewhere?” Seeing the disappointment on his face, she cupped his cheek- softly smiling at him.

“I was going somewhere. But it would have been a waste of journey. I was wanting to see you too. I love them Drake, they are beautiful.”

“Well I feel like such a gooseberry now.”

“Sav?”

“She insisted on becoming my shadow.”

“Like I was Evie’s shadow as kids, you inspired me Evie- I wanted to be like you. Anyway, how about we have a sleepover like old times? I’ve brought snacks, I’ll cook- not as good as Michaela cooked though. But I’ll try... why don’t you two go and talk?” Evie welcomed them both in, smelling the flowers one last time- the aroma flooded her senses. Savannah laid out the snacks that they had brought with them and insisted that she would deal with the flowers.

****

Evie escorted Drake upstairs, as they entered her room- he noticed the dress on the floor, wondering why it was there along with his letter. Flashbacks from the nights leading up to her attack rushing through his mind.

“Evie I can’t be with you... I’m so sorry.”

“Evie you can’t leave me, one reason- I don’t really want to be a Duke... unless I marry you. Two, I’m sorry for trying to protect you and finishing us. I love you so much... I’m a dickhead for letting you go. Please don’t leave me... I love you.”

“Where are the fucking paramedics? Evie, I’ve known that I’ve loved you since I was probably about thirteen. I waited years to have you in my arms. You and I have a great future. Just us. I fucked up, please forgive me. Maybe in time we can have a little Gracie and a little Tommy. You can’t give up, I’m not leaving you...”

Little Gracie and little Tommy, we could have had that. We did have that.

“Drake? Are you okay?” She turned to face him as she picked the dress up and placed it back in the dress bag. Slightly embarrassed that she had left her room as a shit tip, eager to go and see him after reading his letter.

“Seeing that dress again, that night...I thought I lost you...”

“I’m sorry. I cant throw it out- you bought me it after all.” Focusing his gaze onto her, rather that the item that provided one bad memory- he didn’t want to hear an apology from her.

“I’m the one that’s sorry, don’t you ever apologise.” Sitting on the edge of the bed, she joined him- as he held his head in his hands. Placing her arm on his leg, he raised his head up providing her with a half hearted smile.

“I am sorry though. If I didn’t defend Riley, if I didn’t argue with your mom, if I wasn’t stubborn and spoke to you..... things would have been different... we would still have our baby...” Her eyes formed tears as her voice became shaky saying this- the walls that she had surrounded herself by, slowly began to collapse. Drake immediately put his arm around her, supporting her as her lips continued trembling- her tears dripped off her chin and onto his shirt, slightly drenching it. He sobbed on her shoulder steadily, as he held her protectively. The pain that they had both kept hidden came in waves, crying - then mini pauses for recovering their breathing. Both thinking about their memories from the last few weeks, whilst they were separated.

“Are you ready to leave? Would you like someone to pick you up?” Dr Hussain asked her, still feeling guilt ridden about not exposing the full extent of her injuries.

“I’m a big girl, I’ll get a taxi back. Thank you for everything Doctor.”

“You’re welcome your grace. I’d like to see you in a month or so for a follow up, if there’s any questions you need to ask- or you have any symptoms that are on the leaflet don’t hesitate on returning.” Evie nodded, leaving the hospital - she hoped that there was no press outside.

Arriving back at her Duchy the door was open, her heart beat began to race wondering who was there.

“Hello?” She asked hoping it wasn’t any of her friends. Whilst she had been in hospital she had a lot of time to think- not knowing why she was an emotional wreck she didn’t want any empathy from anyone- or for anyone to fuss. This was the second time since her return that she had become a burden. The hospital had insisted that she should have a bit of counselling due to the trauma, whilst alone she did have traumatic flashbacks of the memories but felt the stigma would label her if she admitted it.

“Your grace, welcome home.”

“Who the hell are you?”

“My apologies, my name is Annabelle. King Liam hired me to help you until you have made a full recovery.”

“Of course he did.” Rolling her eyes back she didn’t have the energy to berate her friend for hiring help behind her back. “I’m sorry for being so abrupt. A little warning would have been appreciated.”

“Of course. If you need me for anything, just let me know.”

“For the mean time can you turn away any visitors please. That would be a big help.” Annabelle nodded as she watched Evie robotically walk around her Duchy.

Over the next few weeks, Evie eventually came out of her shell with Annabelle- the two women getting to know each other and becoming friends. She was grateful for Annabelle agreeing to her terms regarding no visitors- the younger woman believed that the Duchess could have been depressed and this was why she was acting strange towards her friends- not really having an explanation as to why she was avoiding the people that cared for her.

“If you don’t mind me asking, why don’t you want to see anyone?” Annabelle eventually asked, not wanting Evie to berate her for asking.

“I honestly don’t know. Ever since I returned, I’ve always made the wrong decisions. Maybe I want to prevent doing this again?”

“They care for you.”

“I know. I care for them too. I love them all. I suppose I just need time alone. There’s so many secrets within Cordonia, so many scandals occur. I lost my parents due to the vicious people within Liam’s court- I fell in love with one of my oldest friends and he publicly dumped me. I thought after all this time, he was the one. At this moment in time, I don’t want any more heartbreak. If I keep myself to myself I can’t get myself into anymore trouble.”

“Anything you need your grace, I’m here. But ...”

“But... I know I’m going to have to face them at some point..” Flicking through the photos in her phone of her and Drake, her heart sunk. I miss you so much.

- - -

Drake remained in his room most of the nights alone, his mind wondering what Evie was doing. Did she still hate him? Was she going to hold that anger towards him for the rest of her life. Liam and the others had tried to invite him out- to make him become more sociable. They knew the guilt he felt towards what had happened to Evie- in a way they did too. They were all frustrated with Evie blocking them out of her life. They just wanted to make sure that she had settled back home, that she was being looked after by Annabelle. Two weeks after she had been discharged, Liam made his way to Drakes room- concerned about his friend, he had hoped that he would open up so he could help him.

“Hi.” Liam noticed how Drake had let himself go, but was grateful for him answering the door.

“Hello, can I come in?” Drake allowed him in, Liam noticed Evie’s hoody on his friends bed. Photos of the two of them that he had printed off, scattered across his bed.

“Look at you two, king and queen of selfies. They are lovely photos of you both.”

“Just distant memories now.”

“She will come around... soon... I hope...” Liam said not sounding very enthusiastic.

“What if she leaves Cordonia? Leaves everyone because of me?”

“She won’t do that. I won’t allow her to.” Smirking at his best friend, Liam knew he would do everything and anything to prevent her from running away.

“All you wanted in life was for Evie to love you back.. the way you loved her... I got a girl to love me, a girl who means so much to me and I fucked up. You’d have given any opportunity to have that Li.”

“I love Evie, I always will do. But seeing you this way proves how much you love her. Yes I was a jerk in Vegas, but I could see that she loves you- you both make a fabulous couple. You ‘fucked up’ to protect her. You always protect the women you love, it’s not the first time. I want you both to be happy, it’s going to take time after all that she’s been through. But I’m here always Drake, you’re like my brother.”

“You’re not angry with me?”

“What on earth for?”

“Oh you know for falling for another one of your girls, for breaking Evie’s heart...”

“Technically, Evie has never been my girl. Our betrothal ended when we was fourteen. Yes we slept together after that, we kissed after that. I hoped that in time she would fall for me naturally- I told her I loved her constantly, she never told me it back- only as in friends. With Riley, technically she wasn’t officially mine either when you grew feelings towards her. I love them both, and I know you do too. But you have more love towards Evie. Once she finds out about the baby, you both may become closer and can try again.”

“Li she won’t talk to me, or see me. I can’t see it happening anytime soon.”

“Think positive Drake, you never know... one day you both could be saying your vows in front of me.”

“Hell no. You are being my best man, I’m not having Maxwell or Bertrand stood next to me.”

“Thanks for asking me in advance. I’d be honoured to be your best man.” Liam laughed, dreading to imagine the Beaumont’s as best men. “You’ll both work it out. Are you coming to the beer garden? Men only- I promise we won’t mention anything about the women.”

“I’m going to stay here. Maybe another day. Thanks for the talk Li.” Liam nodded, as he walked out of the room he noticed Drake pull Evie’s hoody towards him- tears flowing uncontrollably down his cheeks. I miss you so much.

“I’m sorry, I’ve ruined your infamous denim jacket. I really need to invest in some waterproof mascara.” Drake tilted her chin up, caressing her cheek- his thumb wiped away the mascara.

“I’ve got plenty, don’t worry. You’re still beautiful with or without mascara.”

“Charmer...”

“Just telling the truth. Are we okay? Can we be friends again?” I want to be more than friends, but I’ll accept friendship.

“We’ve always been friends Drake. Always will be..” I want to be more than friends.

“It’s good to see that smile again. I’ve been thinking, tell me if it’s a stupid idea...”

“What?”

“One day, do you fancy visiting your parents graves and my dads grave... put something like a memorial there for the baby. I know you wouldn’t have been that far along, but I know they would all be looking after their grandchild... I know it’s stupid, if you think it is just ignore me.”

“It’s not stupid... it’s sweet... we can put a teddy there? Or a balloon?”

“We can go there if we ever feel like we need to speak to them or the baby... just let me know when you want to do it.”

“I always go to my parents graves. I actually went there when I started to fall for you, I told them. I tell them everything even though they aren’t here. I even dreamt about them and your dad when I passed out.. silly I know...”

“It’s not silly, I still talk to my dad. I miss him so much, as you miss them.”

“I do miss them..” Drake didn’t respond, instead he held her in his embrace lovingly. Kissing her on the forehead, he could stay like that all night- making up for lost time. However he believed that they shouldn’t, he wanted to go back as to what they were- but didn’t want to show himself up in case she rejected him.

“I think we should go down, Savannah could end up causing a fire...” Evie nodded, knowing exactly what he meant. It wasn’t the first time Savannah’s attempts at cooking had ended in disaster.

*****

The two of them joined Savannah downstairs, who had kept herself busy making food- for once preventing the fire brigade to be called out. Sitting on the couch, they all spoke like they did in the past- bringing up good memories as well as bad memories. All comforting each other. Evie hadn’t yet met Bartie, so mainly spoke about him to Savannah who beamed about her son.

“Your parents basically adopted us when our father passed away. Drake and Savannah Bruley, doesn’t quite have a ring it... or what about if you all changed your name to ours, Evangeline Walker- now that has a ring to it. Don’t you think Drake?” Drakes eyes widened at his sister’s comment, wishing she would shut up.

“Well it’s better than Evangeline Rhys.. or Evangeline Farbridge...” Evie laughed in response, not realising what Savannah was hinting at. Savannah hid her smile, seeing her brother become all flustered. Before they arrived at the Duchy she caught him admiring something that they hadn’t seen in years.

“Hey, So Bertrand updated me on the council meeting... apparently everyone was ready to throw mom into a poison lake. Evie positively spoke about mom, defending her. Wanting to get her help, even after what happened.” Drake didn’t respond, instead he stared at the diamonds in front of him. “Drake!”

“Sorry, what?”

“Did you hear what I said about the meeting?”

“Yeah, Evie wants to get her help... I heard ya...”

“So why ignore me? Why have you got the ring out of the box?”

“If she didn’t lose the baby, we’d have been a family... I’d have asked her to become my wife as well as my child’s mom.”

“Do you want to marry her?”

“Why would she want to marry me? I failed her as a boyfriend and a father. She came over before you arrived, asked me to go to hers tomorrow to talk...”

“Anyone would be lucky to marry you Drake, you’re the most loyal person I know. Yeah you made a mistake, we all do at times- but don’t you dare blame yourself about the baby. Why are you sat around moping about? Get a shave, get your shit together and let’s go to see your girl- slumber party like the old days. You know from what I’ve heard, you two are made for each other. I don’t understand how no one saw it before- thinking back ...all the star crossed lovers act...”

“Dad knew, he confronted me about it days before he died. Telling me to fight for her.”

“Come on, use that Walker charm. Buy her some flowers on route- that usually works.”

“So what’s next on the trip down memory lane Sav?” Evie asked, for the first time in weeks she felt content with the company she had.

“Plaiting each other’s hair? I’ll go and get a brush and the bobby pins.” Standing up she enthusiastically clapped her hands, enjoying her night away from Mommy duties. Drake shook his head knowing the two women were going to go into full slumber party mode any minute now.

“Evie? I’m going to go back to the palace, before you both turn me into a sugarplum fairy...”

“You don’t have to go...”

“Trust me I do, I’m not having Savannah try and paint my nails or you attempting to plait my hair like you both used to...”

“It’s long enough now to do that... and don’t criticise my hairdressing skills Walker. If the baby was a girl, I’d be doing her hair everyday.”

“Yeah, between the two of you you’d have replaced me with our daughter to be your next girl’s world victim.” God we did torture him, what a marshmallow. He could pass off as a drag queen if myself and savannah got our hands on him right.

“She would have been asking her daddy to paint her nails, and you’d have to oblige and say yes and possibly paint your own until she had friends.” If the baby was a girl, she wouldn’t have any friends, any bitches that could hurt her, any boyfriends until she’s at least 21.

“Maybe... you’d have spoilt her rotten.” She would have been daddy’s little princess. Even if it was boy, he would have admired Drake- as Drake did with Jackson.

“I would have done. You and I are just going to be the crazy drunk aunt and uncle to the heir... although you’re already that to Bartie.” I don’t want to be known as the drunk Uncle, I wanted our baby. I still do. Winking at him she hoped he wouldn’t become offended with her comment.

“I’m not drinking anymore Evie, I poured away the whiskey. I want to prove I’m something. Something to everyone- somebody to you.” So that’s why he was pouring it away.

“Drake.. you are everything to me. That’s why it hurt so much... when you... you said you couldn’t be with me.” Fuck I’ve made her cry again, you idiot Drake. Can we get back to what we were? Try again?

Savannah overheard their conversation, her heart sunk for them- feeling guilty for keeping Bartie away from Bertrand for all that time when the two people in front of her had lost everything.

“Hey, I’m going to have to go. Barties come down with a cold.” Is that the best excuse I could come up with? “I promise we will do this again... Sooner rather than later.”

“Oh... I’m sure Bartie wants you to comfort him- I mean if it turns into a sickness bug could you imagine Bertrand’s face if his son ruined his infamous vests?” Evie laughed attempting to picture the duke as a father.

“I’ll take you back to Ramsford... goodnight Evie.” Don’t go. Please. Kissing her on the cheek, Savannah’s mind starting ticking.

“No!” Savannah snapped at the two who looked confused with her outburst.

“No?” Drake questioned his sister, usually she would take any opportunity to use him as a taxi- he kept wondering why the change of heart.

“I’ll get a taxi, you stay here with Evie. Keep her company.”

“I was just going to have an early night, don’t worry about me. Thank you for both coming.” Noticing Savannah wink at him Drake soon understood the sudden yet unexpected illness of his nephew. Fucking matchmaker Savannah, what a shame she couldn’t think like this with her own relationship.

“Evie doesn’t want me to stay here, as she said she’s having an early night. And I promised Liam a night cap.” Please don’t confirm this with Liam.

“Fuck Liam. Evie’s got plenty of beds here, you could play Goldilocks until you found the right bed. There’s plenty of food, and snacks- it’ll last you both a couple of days. Love ya both.” Before either could respond, Savannah shot out of the door and into a taxi. A couple of days? They both silently said in their minds.

“I wonder if the taxi times have become more punctual since I returned- you think about ordering one and bam it’s there.”

“You and I both know she lied about Bartie. Sneaky bitch. It doesn’t take that long to get hair accessories. I’m sorry, I’ll make you a drink and go.” I don’t want you to go. Please stay with me.

“I...” Pausing, she didn’t want to sound desperate- especially when she had avoided him as well as everyone else for weeks. “Thank you.”

Drake walked over to the kitchen island, he poured her a glass of orange juice and handed it to her. Staring down into the drink, Drake noticed her in a trance, he began to wonder what she was thinking.

“What’s up?”

“Nothing. Thank you. Let me know when you get back, drive safely. I just panic after what happened with my parents.”

“I don’t want to leave you. I just didn’t want you to feel awkward if I stayed. I’ve never stopped loving you, even when you wasn’t mine. I held a torch for you, never believing that we would be more than friends.”

“I don’t want you to leave.. I didn’t feel the same when we was younger, or maybe I did but I ignored it...do you remember your dads funeral when Liv and Penny dragged me away?”

“Of course I do, I didn’t want to be around anyone but you and Sav. Why?”

Olivia whispered into Penelope’s ear, both nodding whilst smirking. Having an inkling that there was something more to Drake and Evie’s friendship- she was eager to find out the truth, even if it killed her.

“Duke Bruley, Duchess Bruley.. May we borrow Evie for a second?” They both nodded, watching as the two girls ushered their daughter away.

“You’re hurting me! What’s the matter? I should be with Savannah and Drake. They’ve just buried their father...”

“But you was with your parents...” Olivia stayed sarcastically, whilst raising her eyebrow.

“Yeah but they need me...”

“Listen Evie, you were betrothed to marry Liam. But you spend more time with them. We are going to play a little game...”

“Oohhh I like games...” Penelope smiled excitedly.

“So Evie... snog, marry or fuck... options are Liam, Maxwell and Drake...”

“Excuse me?”

“You heard, join in if you’d like Penelope.”

“Okay, so I’d snog Maxwell, marry Liam and fuck Drake... don’t tell Kiara about Drake though- she has a major crush on him..”

“Well I’d have to do all that with Liam seen as though I was being forced to marry him. Even though the betrothal isn’t planned anymore, they are still going to try their hardest for it to still happen. There are you happy?”

“No, you cheated. Answer right.”

“Liv, I’m not like you. I don’t think about things like that. Snog Maxwell, seen as though I’ve already done that...”

“And you’ve done it with Liam...”

“Your point is Pen?”

“Nothing... carry on Evie.”

“Fuck Liam, marry Drake...”

“Interesting, why?”

“Because I couldn’t chose the same as Penelope...” Olivia and Penelope looked at each other then at their friend waiting for an elaboration. “Well Liam is going to be good in bed if he’s anything like his brother unless those stories are all fake. Drake, I think he will make a protective husband... like his father was protective over them all. But none of this matters, so can we all go and support Drake and Savannah please?”

After reiterating the memory, she shook her head as she blushed. Drake looked pretty smug with her answers.

“I’m actually offended that you didn’t choose me for every one of those options..” Joking he knew she was well out of his league, she always had been- but deep down he wondered what would happen if that happened in the future, especially after his talk with his sister.

“I... shut up Drake... we really should have asked Olivia what she would have chosen...”

“Hate Drake, stab Drake and finally kill Drake... she would have cheated too...”

“That could possibly be quite true.. I’ve missed you, and your sarcasm...”

“Is that all you’ve missed? My sarcasm?”

“I’ve missed you.. I’ve missed us... I’m sorry I shut you out.”

“I’m sorry I didn’t try harder, I still love you so much. Michaela and Alexander produced the most beautiful and strong young woman I’ve ever known. There’s something you should know... I liked them a lot, they looked after us when they didn’t need to. I want to look after you to repay them, and I’m not going to hurt you again- but if you hate me I’ll understand. The truth about your parents death....” Evie placed her fingers on his lips, not needing or wanting for him to elaborate.

“I know.. your mom caused their deaths...”

“How?”

“Constantine had the guards do an investigation into it. He didn’t believe the person who insisted they killed them. Then they confessed it was your mom- but she hadn’t returned since their deaths and he didn’t want to do anything because she was your mom and I agreed.”

“Why would you both let something like that go?”

“It was an accident Drake, she was drunk. She isn’t the Bianca we all once knew. If she would accept help, it would benefit everyone.”

“It wasn’t a damn accident Evie, stop defending her! She knew what she was fucking doing. She told me at the rehearsal, showed no remorse. That’s why I finished our relationship, I didn’t want her hurting you. But she did that anyway; not only did she kill your parents, she could have killed you, she killed our baby...”

“I know...I know... if I could turn back time.. I would in an instant...”

“I didn’t mean to shout, it’s just so frustrating...”

“It’s fine, what room are you staying in then Goldilocks?”

“I’ll sleep on the couch. It’s comfy.”

“Don’t be stupid. There’s plenty of beds as Savannah said, she should know. I think she tested them all out when she stayed on her own.” Drake knew he couldn’t argue with her, if he insisted on staying on the couch she would berate him and force him to a bed- any bed. Leading him upstairs, she showed him into the guest room next to hers.

“I think this is the best guest room, and as you’re my guest of honour you should stay here tonight. Do you need anything? Blankets? Some water? A toothbrush?”

“Stop mothering me Evie, I’m fine. I don’t need anything, but thank you.” Nodding her head, she bit her lip as he removed his jacket and top- realising she was hypnotised by his muscled body she didn’t want him to notice her gawking at him- drooling over him like a pup.

“Goodnight Walker.”

“Goodnight Bruley.” Exiting the room, Drake sat on the edge of the bed- he was glad that Savannah had insisted on coming, he and Evie had that bit of closure that they both needed. Evie stood outside the guest room, reiterating their conversations throughout the night in her mind. A sudden realisation hit, something that she had forgotten to tell him something.

“Drake?” Knocking on the door, she didn’t know how long it had been since she had said goodnight. For all she knew it could have been thirty seconds- surely he won’t be asleep yet.

“Did you forget something? Are you okay?”

“You know when we was talking about my parents death and you told me that you still love me? Well I forgot to tell you that I still love you too..” He lent down, his lips brushed against her cheek lightly and hesitantly- his touch sent shivers through her body. Even though he had kissed her on the cheek before throughout the night this time was different. Reaching up, she pulled him down to her, guiding his lips onto hers- no time for words to escape his mouth or hers as they were lost within each other. As his arms circled her, gathering her against him, he bent his knees slightly and picked her up. Evie wrapped her legs around him- as the kissing continued. Carrying her over to the bed, he wanted more- of course he did, he had missed her. But he had spent time researching recovery time after a miscarriage and traumatic injuries. Laying her gently on the bed, he laid next to her- Evie placed her head on his chest, draping her arms around him.

“Can I stay here with you?”

“You don’t need to ask me, it’s your home. You make the decisions. But I’d like you to stay with me.”

“Makes a change from my room.” Sitting up she took her clothes off, leaving just her underwear on- not being bothered to walk to her room for pajamas. As she did this and discarded the clothes on the floor, Drake noticed the scar on her abdomen.

“Don’t look at it, please. It’s horrible, it makes my body ugly.” Natural instinct made him lean down, and kiss the scar tenderly.

“No it doesn’t. It shows how strong you are.” He wrapped his arm around her shoulders and pulled her close, gently holding her in his embrace. She immediately sunk into the warmth of his body- feeling loved once again. Within minutes, Drake suddenly realised that she had fallen asleep.

“I love you.” He whispered, not expecting her to hear it- but he just wanted her know.

Oh once in your life you find someone

Who will turn your world around

Bring you up when you're feelin' down

Yeah nothin' could change what you mean to me

Oh there's lots that I could say

But just hold me now

'Cause our love will light the way

And baby, you're all that I want

When you're lyin' here in my arms

I'm findin' it hard to believe

We're in heaven

****

Savannah arrived at Ramsford and was greeted by everyone, all hoping that she had some news.

“What took you so long?” Riley asked, with the others also wondering this. They had expected her to return hours ago.

“Well you can’t just turn up, and expect them to get back together in an instant. It takes time. She seemed comfortable in our company. I lied saying Bartie was ill, or I’d have still been there. And Drake lied about having an arrangement to meet you Liam for a nightcap. I overheard them talking about the baby, imagining that it was a girl... they didn’t seem upset, it was closure.. that both of them needed. What’s happening with Mom Liam? Not that I care, I just know Evie would regret what she said.”

“Well Bianca did expose something in a malicious way. I’ve held off on the punishments for them both for now. Did you leave the letter and boarding tickets?”

“Of course I did, I left them on her bed. I did it discretely.”

“If that’s a dig at me Sav, I’d have done it discretely too...” They all looked at Maxwell, eyebrows raised before bursting out laughing- knowing that he would have failed the task- or was too eager to spill the surprise that they had all planned after the council meeting.

“I propose a toast to my soon to be brother in law and Duchess Evangeline..” Bertrand said, smirking- proud of his fiancées actions.

“May the two of them find happiness once again, and both stop being so stubborn.”

[rozemieke]

Another Stanbrough story, a very cheesy one, I can't believe I wrote it. Well enjoy anyway!!

****

Stanley would have been lying if he said that he had never been in love. He would have been lying if he said that he never felt like wanting to be so close to someone and yet so far away from someone at the same time. He would have been lying if he said that I didn't lay awake at night thinking about kissing someone or holding hands.

He would have been lying if he said that he wasn't in love with Bill Denbrough. 

His best friend. The person he trusted so much. The person who trusted him so much. The person he had been friends with since kindergarten. 

He didn't like it and at the same time he did. 

The problem was that he didn't have the guts to tell Bill. That he was a coward and that he just couldn't get the word out of his mouth. 

And he tried, he had tried to bing it up, but the words were always stuck. Deep down inside him.

It had been almost a year since he realised that what he was feeling wasn't just friendship anymore. 

Bill, growing up, losing his stutter trough the year, walking around is his typical jersey jacket because he joined the baseball team, all broad shoulders and smiles, how could you not fall in love with him? 

Stan was sitting on the edge of his bed, staring at the pictures on the wall. One of all the losers in the arcade, all happy, ten year olds, all smiling. One picture, taken at the quarry when they were thirteen, all in the awkward growing phase. One picture of him, Eddie and Bev in the clubhouse because Bev had gotten a new polaroid and wanted to test it out. One picture of him and Bill, taken at Richies 17th birthday party when they were both a little drunk. One picture of Mike, Ben and Richie, all with paper crowns on their heads and big smiles.

And the picture Stanley liked the most, the one he and Bill had taken in a photo booth together, both with a teeth showing smile, a little bit of chocolate ice cream on the corners of Bills mouth because he just finished his ice cream, and the happy, twinkling light in both boys eyes. 

Stan sighed. 

He was 17 now, in the last year of high school. He needed to focus on school, graduating, getting accepted to colleges, on his job at the movie theatre. He shouldn't be focusing on Bills stupid smile. Or his eyes. Or fuck, his lips, his mouth, his teeth, his broad shoulders, his chest when they went swimming, he shouldn't be thinking about him when he was laying awake at night, he shouldn't' be thinking about Bill at all! Not at any moment of the day! 

But yet here he was, thinking about that stupid boy in his stupid jersey with is stupid eyes and stupid soft look and stupid fucking,...

Stan wanted to scream.

Suddenly his mother yelled something from downstairs, making Stan jump up in surprise. "I'm coming!" He yelled back, already on his way down the stairs. 

"Ben is on the phone, he wanted to speak to you." 

Ben never called him. The only person that ever called him was Richie, just to annoy him, so when Stan answered to phone he was kinda curious. 

"Hey Ben, what's going on?" He asked, excepting the worst. 

"Nothing much, the others just wanted me to call you because my parents aren't home this evening and we could hang out. Bev and Eddie are already here. You should come too." 

Stan nodded. "I'll ask my parents and I'll come." He said. "Okay see ya, bye!" 

It was a short, quick conversation with his parents and soon he was on his bike on his way to Bens house. 

He was just about to ring the doorbell when he heard someone yell his name. 

"Hey Stanyman! Wait two seconds!" Richie yelled, getting off his bike and dropping it on the ground. 

Richie ringed the bell a second before Stan could do it, pushing his hand away and sticking out his tongue. San rolled his eyes but couldn't hide a smile. 

"Hey guys! Come in!" Bev said as she opened the door, letting both boys inside. 

Eddie, Ben and Mike were already in the living room, sitting on the couch and talking. 

"When are your parents going to be back?" Bev asked, sitting down on the loveseat. Ben shrugged. "I don't know. Maybe around midnight?" 

Bev nodded. "Alright." 

Richie had seated himself on the ground in front of the couch and Stan had scooted next to Mike. The only person that was still missing was Bill. Of course Stan had noticed and of course he wanted to know where Bill was, but he wasn't gonna ask. He knew that the others out read him easily. He had been hiding his crush for almost a year now and no one noticed so far, so that was great. 

"Were's Bill?" Ben asked suddenly, looking around the room. Stan let out a small sigh. 

"He had practise from baseball, since the big game is in a week." Bev answered. "He's gonna come as soon as it's over." 

The Losers spend most of the evening talking and eating snacks. Not really eating a real dinner, but no one cared. 

When the bell finally rang and Mike went to open the door Stan didn't know why but he felt nervous. He had never felt his nervous to just hang out with the Losers all together. 

When Bill entered the living room Stan wanted to die right there on the spot. Bills hair was still damp from taking a shower, he had a blush on his cheeks from biking fast, and he just looked so fucking good. 

San tried not to stare. "How was practise?" Ben asked. "Did you miss me?" 

Ben had joined the baseball team too but had sprained his ankle a few weeks ago, and even tough it didn't hurt anymore and he didn't needed to walk with crutches anymore, he still wasn't allowed to run and do any sports from his doctor, which sucked. 

Bill smiled. "The whole team said that I needed to give you their greetings." 

"Well thanks. I'll be happy when I'll be able the join again." Ben said, a sad expression on his face. 

"Hey enough with the sports talking, let's do something!" Richie said, already getting up.  

After a lot of complaints, bickering and yelling at each other they settled on UNO. Well, not that the yelling stopped because UNO was a fucked up game to play, but I was fun. 

Mike won most of the rounds. No one knew why but Mike was way too good at board games and games in general. Most of the time he just cheated, but he wants gonna tell the Losers that because they al thought he was innocent anyway.

When they all got tired of UNO they played some other games, letting the time pass by. 

"Hey Ben what time is it?" Stanley asked. His curfew always being midnight when his parents knew that he was with the others. 

"Almost midnight, you should go, and if you're going home I'll drop you off, my parents want me to be home early." Bill said, answering Stans question instead of Ben. He was looking at Stan with an expression that Stan couldn't read. Stan smiled. "Alright." 

The two boys left, walking trough the cold autumn air. They decided not to bike, both not really knowing why. 

"A girl asked me out today." Bill suddenly said, looking up at the sky, a few stars in the sky. 

Stan gulped. He didn't know what to say. His throat hurt, jut like his head, as he tried to fight back his sudden urge to cry. Of course girls would ask Bill out.

"Okay. What did you say?" Stan asked with an unsteady voice, shivering. 

"I said no." Bill said. 

Stan frowned. "Why? Wasn't she pretty or cute? Did you not like her?" Stan asked, trying not to be angry or sound to hurt. 

"I don't know Stanley. I just, never, felt that way? With girls? I don't know. It's stupid." 

Stan looked up at the sky too. 

"It's not dumb, tell me what you mean." 

Bill sighed. 

"I mean that, there was Bev when I was twelve, and no one ever, just, I never felt like that with girls anymore, thats why I broke up with her. Because I just,.. I guess, I wasn't attracted to her? Its weird I don't know how I feel and what I want it just,.."

Stan stopped, walked towards a bench on the side of the road, dropping his bike on the ground and waited for Bill to walk over. 

"Don't you need to go home soon?" Bill asked with a smile as he sat down next to Stan. 

"I don't care. Tell me. Talk to me Bill. You're my best friend." 

Bill laughed. "Yeah, I am. So what I was saying, I'm just confused, and I do feel, feelings, I do have feelings, things for someone, but I can't, just, you know. It's difficult! I'm 17! How am I supposed to know what's going on?" 

Stan smiled, god, Bill, if you only knew!

"So you're saying that you like someone, but it's difficult? Why not just tell them? Everyone in this shitty town would date you if they could, just ask them." 

Bill sighed. "It ain't that easy bird boy, because so many people will hate me for it and it's disgusting and my parents would be so disappointed, even more disappointed than they already are, you know, with Georgie." His last sentence came out almost as a whisper, hurt in his voice.

Stan smiled at the nickname. Nodded, slowly scooting closer to Bill so their shoulders and things touched. 

"Yeah, I know. It's not your fault, I know that." He said with a soft voice. 

"So if I ask them they will think I'm weird because I know them well, my parents would kill me, and our little group of losers would be torn apart." 

"Bill. It's a boy, isn't it?" Stan asked softly, looking at Bill. Stan didn't even care at this point that it wasn't him. He just wanted Bill to be happy and to feel better and to not feel like a disappointment. 

"Yeah." Bill let out a sigh. Looking at Stan as he tried to fight back tears.

"And it is someone from our friend group?" Stan asked. Bill nodded and laughed nervously. "I'm a freak." 

"No Bill. Shut up. You aren't a freak, I think I like boys too and I don't think you're a freak at all because otherwise everyone would be freaks and stop saying you are because you are awesome and it's normal to feel like this I think because everyone feels like this in this shitty town, so don't fight back your feelings because I know you and you do those things until you break down and I just want you to be fucking happy, I don't care who you have a crush on, I don't care, not even if it's Richie for gods sake, but I do care about you. So please, you're to a freak. You're not a disappointment." 

Stan was rambling. 

"You like boys? And no, it's not Richie." Bill suddenly asked, making Stan look up. 

"Yeah, I guess I do." Stan said while he felt his cheeks getting warm. Bill smiled. 

"Okay." He said.

"Okay" Stan said. 

They sat in silence for a while, looking at the sky, thinking. Bill took out a pack of cigarettes from his pocket. 

"You want one?" He asked Stan. Stanley normally didn't smoke, but who cared, they were all gonna die anyway, so why not. 

"Yeah." 

"Life's confusing Stanley." Bill said, lighting up his cigarette. 

"Can you tell me which person from our friend group you have a crush on?" Stan asked suddenly, dying to know. 

"You aren't really good at catching hints." Bill said with a soft laugh. Stan frowned. "What are you talking about? I'm perfectly good at catching hints, thank you." 

Bill laughed. "If you were you should have noticed by now." 

Stans eyes widened as he took a last drag off his cigarette. "Let's go home. My parents will kill me." 

Bill followed his down the street as they walked back, not mentioning the conversion from before. 

"Fuck it's cold." Stan said, shivering. 

"Do you want my jacket? I'm not cold." Bill asked, already taking it off.

Stan blushed. Yes. Yes. Yes. Wearing Bills jacket with his name on the back, smelling like Bill? 

"I'm not your cheerleading girlfriend, you can keep that dumb jacket of yours." 

Why Stanley? Why??????

"Just take it Stanley, we don't want you catching a cold." 

Stan mumbled some protest but let Bill place his jacket over his shoulders. It was perfect. It was the best thing ever.  

When they arrived at Stanley house they just stood there. A little awkward. 

"Fuck Stanley. You're bad at catching hints. So bad." Bill said with a little laugh. 

"Shut up. I'm not. Stop saying that." 

Bill laughed, stepping closer to Stan, looking into his eyes. 

"It's you Stanley. It's always been you." 

Stan looked up into Bills eyes. What was he saying? His heart was beating super fast, trying to jump out of his chest when Bill placed one hand on Stans hip and the other one on his cheek. 

So close. 

Stan tried not to look at Bills lips. Of course he failed. 

Lips. Eyes. Some freckles. Eyes. Lips.

Their foreheads touched. Stan sighed when he felt Bills soft breath on his lips. 

"Are you gonna kiss me or not?" Stanley asked, not knowing were the sudden confidence came from. 

"I am." Bill answered before leaning in, pressing his cold lips against Stanleys. 

It was beautiful. It was just a short kiss but it was perfect. When they broke apart Bill could see the little lights of happiness in Stanleys eyes. 

He smiled. 

"I need to go inside." Stan said. Their foreheads touching like before the kiss. 

Bill sighed softly. "Okay. I'll call you tomorrow. Goodnight Stanley." Bill said before giving Stanley another kiss. 

Stanley loved kissing Bill. He loved standing here, in the cold air, warm bodies pressed close to each others, now warm lips kissing and tasting the other person. So close, so loved. 

When they broke apart for the second time Stan grinned. 

"Thank you for brining me home, you dork." San said. Bill rolled his eyes and poked Stans dimple. "Shut up. I love you. See you tomorrow." 

Stan smiled as he walked inside. 

"I love you too, goodnight." 

His parents weren't angry, so that was a good thing, and when Stanley was laying on his bed with Bills jacket still on, smelling Bills scent and remembering the kisses, he blushed as a giant lovable smile crept up his face. 

Stupid Bill with his stupid jacket and stupid eyes.

****

That's it!

[witchyclipse]

Master Of Balance

Posted first on ao3! Check it out there too!

https://archiveofourown.org/works/22412821/chapters/53549695

Chapter One 

The Princess and Elder Mechanic 

Rysheladon, one of the coldest planets in the galaxy . The planet was so cold most ships tend to stay far , FAR away from it . Coldest it has ever gotten was below -647 ° which to the people and creatures who inhabit the planet was slightly more than a walk in the park. Thirteen months of winter in a year with only one for spring , two for summer and one for fall , you kinda get used to the never-ending "freeze your ears off" weather.

The planet was on the very edge of the outer rim , almost past it . Rysheladon seemed very similar to Earth yet instead of 75% being water, 80% of the planet had enormous trees that overlooked even the tallest of buildings. They seemed to touch the stars to the citizens who resided there. Often there had been tales the elders would tell the young-lings of their ancestors reaching the stars through the spirits of those very trees. They would call the trees spiritus trees because of the stories.

In these large forests resided many terrible and kind creatures . Large beasts to the smallest of insects that would enchant the unsuspecting traveler if you weren't careful enough , which is why the people of Rysheladon decided to dig underneath the cold surface and make home below away from the cruel weather up top . Though not all could afford to live below so others created tall civilizations atop the surface . For traders of any kind lived above whether they were wealthy like the people below. Only the rich or royalty were able to live beneath the surface . The royal family lived the largest tunnel and cave systems in the below, while the poor people above lived in the terrifying and never ending sea of forests .

Many years ago there had been word of the eldest daughter of the royal family coming to bear a child , but a child with no father. So she had been cast out to raise her child alone and in the cold harsh land above. Never to return unless the child was dead . The eldest princess was to bear the weight of the throne and craved that power unlike anyone in her family ever had before so when she had been tossed out , the eldest daughter had been devastated.  She hated the being growing inside her . Each day closer to the child's birth gave the princess more hatred and anger towards it so she came up with a plan. No one would miss this child, so why keep it? She could easily leave the infant to the storms and creatures of the forest so why shouldn't she?

That was how the eldest princess decided on giving her own child up to die . No remorse , no love , not even a hint of guilt in this poor woman's soul for her own child . But you see, the reason she wasn't happy with the child was because the infant would have no father.

That is because the princess had never been in bed with a man before .

Yes this child had absolutely no father. So how did it come to exist ? There was no logical explanation to it. The child should never have existed yet here it was , growing inside the poor, angry, and abandoned princess. Months ago she had felt an energy consuming her while she slept but never once had she been bedded . Doctors checked just to make sure, she was indeed a virgin soon to give birth to a baby but what the hell kind of baby would it be if it had no father?

Soon the baby was born, it was a baby girl with small tufts of dark hair on its fragile head. The baby seemed perfectly human, and almost resembled her mother completely . Except for the small birthmark on its back which looks oddly like a sword of sorts, a Jedi's sword? No, she must have been losing it .

After resting for a day she haphazardly swaddled the infant in a blanket and walked towards the forest. Not caring that the baby had not been fed yet , not caring that it wailed as if it were dying. 'Soon, soon the child would know death' the princess thought to herself as she walked deeper into the forest until she found a small frozen over lake . One of the only lakes she'd ever seen. It was beautiful , but a dangerous area even for an adult . Quickly the princess settled the baby on a frosted over ledge and wrapped the baby up once more for good measure . She then stood up and started to walk back out of the dreaded forest , never once turning back to look at the now sleeping baby girl.

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Quietly walking along the trail he had made in the forest , an older man who appeared to be around 60 years in age started to trot along through the thick woods . He hummed a small tune to himself as he walked . Nothing pretty but still had meaning to him, His name was Percival the machinist . Or that's what people had been calling him since he was much much younger.

His humming quickly came to a stop when he heard what seemed to be the wailing of an infant. Why was a baby out here? He quickly started walking towards the sound, an infant should never be out in these woods , he thought to himself . Surely he heard the crying get louder as he came closer to it . When he appeared by old Lake Ziosashra and saw the small bundle wrapped up on a stony ledge he moved to assess the situation.

"Aw why hello there little dear. " Percival called to the infant as he reached down to pick it up . "Well I'll be damned… who would've let such a beautiful little baby like you out here , huh?" He cooed to the bundle in his arms . The child seemed to calm down quite a lot just by being held,'T his baby can't be more than a few days old. Why is it out here?' , Percival thought to himself . He looked around seeing that there was most definitely no one else around. " Guess I'll just have to figure out how to keep ya myself huh? Is that alright, little moon? " the old man asked the baby , knowing that it wouldn't understand him but he smiled happily at the smiles and giggles that came from the child.

" Guess that's a yes. " he chuckled to himself.  Quickly and carefully, he made his way off the stone ledge to the ground below with a nice crunch as his feet hit the snowy terrain. Making his way back to the trail he looked down at the little one calmly babbling to itself . "Well we have to give you a name don't we dear? And figure out if you're a little girl or a little boy… " he looked at the lake as the sun lit up the frozen top . Such a beautiful , great big lake.

He untucked the blankets from around the baby , quickly taking note that the baby he has all but suddenly decided to care for was a girl . " Hm…. Why don't we call you… Ziosa?" He said wrapping the baby back up to conceal it from the wicked weather around them. The baby made a strained noise almost like a yell of sorts . Percival laughed a little , " Apparently not. Little moon doesn't like that . Well we can figure that out later , for now let's get you out of this cold . " , the old man said walking to the trail he had just been on minutes before he knew what would happen.

'The force surely does work in mysterious ways .' Percival though as he made his way to his mechanical shop and home. All the while holding the baby girl close to himself as if to shield her from the cold weather .

-----------------------------------------------------------------------

Once Percival had made it to his home he set down the small infant on a makeshift couch of his, quickly taking off his multiple layers of jackets and cloaks to fight against the cold world. After that he started a fire in the fireplace that was about 10 feet away from where the bundle of blankets sat on the couch. " lets get it a little warmer here why don't we. " Percival said to no one in particular in the room . The baby girl babbled as if to respond to his words .

Once the fire had been started he walked to his room to find a few thicker blankets and saw one on the end of his bed . " I'll need to find her clothes later…. This'll do for now", again talking to himself. You do that a lot when you've been basically alone for 30 years, all except for the occasional customer and many many ships that needed repairing in his shops garage .

Walking back out to the living room he picked up the girl out of the ragged old blankets and quickly swaddled her to the best of his abilities . He'd never taken care of a kid before but damn he had always wanted to raise one . Just never found the right woman to settle down and have a couple of kids with. He rocked the baby in his arms for a bit, humming the same tune he had been just before he found her. Apparently it had lulled the girl to sleep because the next time he looked down, he saw that she was fast asleep nuzzled in his arms.

Percival's heart could almost burst at that moment . He really needed to think of a name for her but he's a mechanic not someone who's creative, in all honesty he could hardly make up blueprints of his own personal projects . Slowly and carefully, he placed the sleeping baby down on the couch again. He then placed another blanket on top of the swaddled little girl hoping that she'd stay warm with all the blankets and the roaring fire that was going.

Suddenly there was a very loud knock on Percival's front door , he almost jumped out of his skin at the random knock . He wasn't expecting anyone today and it was his only day off which usually meant everyone would leave him alone. Again the very loud knock sounded from his front door , he checked to see if the infant was still asleep , which she was . He grumbled a bit walking towards his door and opening it, " What the hell do you want it's my damn day off-"

"Don't start fussin' at me old man I'm just here with ya groceries like usual." , a tall woman said . She had long black hair that hit that hit the middle of her back, half of it braided in sections. Her skin was a dark blue with green in areas. " alright alright Arthala get in before you make me freeze the last bit of life I have off.",Percival said as he moved to the side to let her come inside. " Like ya have much of that anyways , Percy. " , the woman better known as Arthala said walking in .

Percival quickly closed the door and locking it walking over to check on the baby again as Arthala started talking ,"Its colder than usual out there. People in the city say it's goin' to break records tonight so- what are you doin' perc? " , Athala looked up from her place by the door to see Percival bending down and tucking in something to the couch . " Ah oh yeah… so I was on my daily walk and found something near Old Lake Ziosashra ." , the man said now standing up straight and looking at the very tall woman who now stood in his small kitchen. "Something? Oh please tell me ya didn't find another dying bird , ya could get sick.", Athala said looking at her friend .

Leaning down , Percival carefully picked up the bundle of blankets and you could practically hear Arthala's jaw drop. " You found a baby!?" , she yelled . " Will you be quiet!? Yes I found a baby , she was left all alone and abandoned near the lake. " , Percival whisper shouted walking towards the  kitchen swaying the child back and forth to keep her asleep.

" Why would you bring a baby home? You can hardly take care of yourself !", the tall woman said coming closer to look at the bundle of blankets her friend held . "What was I gonna do, let the bats eat her? Someone had already abandoned her… I mean look at her. She's just so beautiful I don't know why anyone would ever leave a sweet thing like this out there to die ….. I just had to bring her home 'Thala" , Percival told the woman standing beside him . "She is quite cute… but how will you take care of her? She can't be but only a few days old… " , Athala asked .

Percival tried to think about what he would do on his walk home . "Honestly 'thala I have no idea yet but i'm going to keep her. I'll just make up what to do on the way ." , he said quietly still rocking the infant . " You can hold her if you want to." he told his friend who was transfixed on the sleeping girl. As Athala nodded he slowly placed the baby in her arms. "Oh look at ya, aren't ya just a beaut? " she cooed to the girl. " Does she have a name yet Perc? " , " No… still thinking about that but you know i'm not creative. Got any ideas? " , Percival replied as he looked up to his friend. " If she was found near lake Ziosashra… why not Zio? Or maybe 'Ziorah' . Rah means ethereally beautiful to my species and she surely fits that description…" , Athala said to her friend.

Percival smiled looking down towards the sleeping infant that was snuggled up in his friends arms, " Ziorah… that sounds perfect. Alright little moon, I dub you Ziorah… my daughter. "

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Hey guys! I hope you enjoyed chapter one of this story involving my baby girl Ziorah! Please feel free to share and comment any feedback you have or even questions! I'd love to hear what you have to say! If you'd like to see what Ziorah looks like please check out my instagram! I'll hopefully make this story into a comic with time but for now I'm writing it out and making some art of certain parts. Hope you've enjoyed this first chapter!

More to come soon!

[shebeafancyflapjack]

One of the reasons that the Three x Delgado!Master relationship is my favourite incarnation is that I think it’s still the best dynamic to date that shows the complexity of their relationship. Watching them reminds me a lot of Moses and Ramses in the Prince of Egypt; these two opposing forces who deep down care for each other but they’ve both taken such drastic paths that they’re not willing to let that affection compromise what is important to them. 

Two key moments that highlight this for me; the first one being when the Master basically offers the Doctor his half in conquering the Universe. It’s so similar to Darth Vader or Kylo Ren offering their hands to Luke / Rey and you can tell this isn’t some dodgy deal they plan to go back on, he genuinely wants the Doctor to be on his side and is crushed into rage when the Doctor refuses and says how the Master just “doesn’t get it” and how he wants to see the Universe, not rule it.

The other moment is at the start of the Sea Devils when he and Jo visit the Master in prison and Pertwee just does such an amazing job showing how sad he is to see his friend locked up and when he’s talking to Jo about it you just see how crushed he is as you would be if someone you loved fell so far and had to be locked away.

Then for a long time we never really got this again, Ainley was so fun as the crazy camp Master but I never saw much emotional depth to him or felt a connection outside of a villain to the Doctor from Four till Seven. Roberts I know we don’t talk about but you could tell they were just going the Ainley route of “basic bad guy” except without any of the charm that Ainley brought. 

And then we get to Simm - I’m going to skip over Jacobi because I haven’t really listened to the Big Finish stuff with him and we see little of him actually as The Master when he does ‘wake up’. The Ten and Simm dynamic is interesting because we get A LOT of feels from Ten’s end, where he brings back the sadness and loss that Pertwee had only even more amped up, but on Simm’s end - for the most part - he’s just straight up Joker crazy and full on hates the Doctor. I never got any sense that Simm’s Master had any affection left for the Doctor. And I’m not knocking this at all because, given everything up until this point, it makes sense that the Master’s resentment would be even more intense and he would want to humiliate the Doctor after SO many victories. I just felt like any lasting fondness that was there at the start was gone....That was until the end of the End of Time where the Master makes his sacrifice. That. Was awesome.

That is until they brought Simm back and the sacrifice wasn’t mentioned at all and he was just back to being as he was before End of Time, in fact even more opposed to the idea of standing with the Doctor, going as far to kill ‘himself’ instead of joining him. 

And then we get Missy and I really, really enjoyed what they did with her. It wasn’t quite a ‘redemption arc’, she was still not a good person or her previous actions suddenly forgotten, which I liked. But there was a clear arc of how she was struggling with who she was and what she wanted to do vs the idea of having her friend back in her life and what she was willing to do to keep that rather than being against him. And in return Capaldi did a good job of returning that affection but also being, quite rightly, dubious and cautious of her. This, for me, felt like the closest we got to the Three X Delgado dynamic out of all the incarnations.

O!Master, so far, feels very much like they are returning to Simm’s Master’s way of things....which does feel like a regress. But then it could make sense if he is a previous incarnation; I just want them to make that clear for us because I feel like the Doctor, of all people, would like that clarified over what happened with Missy, not just the audience. That said, I do like O and Thirteen so far. I don’t need EVERY Doctor x Master relationship to be like Three x Delgado or Twelve x Missy (as both of those were different to each other). I just prefer something deeper than the Hero vs Crazy Bad Guy, like Batman and Joker, or Sherlock and Moriarty etc.

Anyway, those are some Doctor x Master thoughts for today. Feel free to hassle me in the comments. Peace!

[stoplookingupforheaven]

fast

“She’s fast.”

(I’m eight years old, chasing a soccer ball over the field. Kicking it every direction but the one I want it to go. I hate getting up early on the weekends. My parents tell me they’re proud of me. We lose every game. My coach tells me to think before I pass, tells me “gentle touches on the ball.” I only ever get to play midfield. I don’t mind. I hate PE. I like art. I have lots of friends. I’m good at school. I don’t think anyone minds.)

“She’s fast.”

(I’m nine years old, in the back of my class, kicking my shoe along the ground. We have to run two laps around the school playground. Half a mile. My friend swears she’s going to walk the whole thing. I tell her she’ll get in trouble. She says she doesn’t care. I try hard in PE. I’m too scared of what my teacher will say if I don’t. Everyone running ahead of me is too slow. I pass all the meanest boys, the ones who call me “know-it-all” when they think I can’t hear. Everyone looks at me funny when I win. I’ve never been the best at anything in PE. It feels good to be the best.)

“She’s fast.”

(I’m eleven years old, trying not to cover my ears at the sight of my first-ever starting gun. I hate loud noises. The high school track stains my shoes. They’re the same shoes I wear to school. I got my braces tightened yesterday. My mouth hurts. The gun’s too loud. I win a green ribbon. Fifth place. I’m afraid it’s not good enough, because I won at school. I don’t have as many friends now, and I want people to like me again. My mom makes me pose for a picture with a boy I know. We’re “family friends.” I don’t know what that means, except that our parents like to get together and I have to play nice. He got fifth place too. I hate him. I don’t want to be fast if it means I have to take pictures with boys.)

“She’s really fast.”

(I’m twelve years old, running with all my might uphill towards a finish line. It's the district championships. I win fifth place. I get a medal. My school wins the championships. We scream when we get our trophy. There’s a dance that night. I have new friends now. They’re nice, but they don’t like running. They laugh when I tell them I won fifth. I feel funny. I’m probably just tired. I dance anyway. They play “We Are The Champions” for us later and we walk down the halls. Everyone cheers. No one understands cross country. They just hear “first place.” I ignore the other girl from my class on the cross-country team. She’s smart and she likes Harry Potter. We’re the same person. We can’t be friends.)

“She’s really fast.”

(I’m thirteen, doubled over at the district track meet. I’m the mile champion. I wear a purple hoodie to accept my blue ribbon. My sort-of boyfriend gives me a hug. I pray my mom doesn’t see, since I’m not allowed to date yet. We hold hands on the bus ride home. People tell me “good job.” I smile and say “thank you.” The girl from cross country is there too. She gives me a big hug. My mom makes us take a picture. She’s smart and she likes Harry Potter. We’re the same person. We’re best friends. People say I’m good at everything I do and I can be anything I want to be. I don’t want to disappoint them, so I try to do everything at once and be good at all of it.)

“She’s really fast.”

(I’m fifteen. I ran varsity cross country as a freshman. I have special shoes to race with now. I get a varsity letter. I get the Outstanding Freshman Award. Everyone says I’m going to be the fastest on the team someday. My ex-boyfriend - the one from middle school - doesn’t say a word to me. He dumped me over text. I’m still angry. We haven’t spoken in months. I have more new friends. They don’t laugh when I tell them how I did. They say “that’s awesome.” They wear tutus to the regional championships and make signs for me. I love them with all my heart. I’m kind of tired of being good at everything, but I can’t not be good at running. I don’t know how.)

“She’s fast.”

(I’m seventeen, and I haven’t run a PR all season. I feel sluggish. Nauseous. My coach is tired of asking me to give more effort. He praises the efforts of the freshmen who are running PRs effortlessly. He doesn’t believe me when I say that I’m tired, that something’s wrong. My mom says that feeling this tired and sad is called depression. My doctor tells me I should go to therapy. I don’t see how that will make me want to get up in the morning, but I do it anyway. Colleges want me to come visit. I throw away the mail unopened. I don’t want to run anymore. I’m tired of disappointing people.)

“She’s fast.”

(I’m eighteen and I want to throw up. I feel sick all the time. I don’t eat breakfast. Sometimes I don’t eat lunch. My teammates hate me; I hate them too. I don’t speak to anyone at practice anymore. I just show up and run, but even that isn’t enough. I skip a meet to go see Bastille in concert. It’s better than any part of that season. My coach tells my mom I have a bad attitude. My mom tells me that my coach isn’t being fair. She believes me when I tell her I feel sick. I answer a college’s email. I talk to the coach. He sounds nice. I never thought about going to school in Wisconsin. I start counting down the days until I never have to run again. I wish it was fun like freshman year.)

“She’s fast.”

(I’m still eighteen. I got into my dream school and I might get to go there. My high school coach struggles to compliment me at the banquet. I wish he’d asked one of the assistant coaches to talk about me. I get a varsity letter. I don’t get a special award. I sit with the seniors, not the varsity squad. The girls think I’m snubbing them. They’re right. I go to a million doctor’s offices. Hear words like “anemia” and “Celiac disease.” Everyone tells me it’s all in my head, that I need to stop psyching myself out, that I’ve got so much potential if I could just believe in myself. I end up in the hospital for a biopsy of my intestine. It is dead inside. I get gelato for breakfast. I stop eating gluten. I wonder if I’ll ever be fast again.)

“She’s fast.”

(I’m healing. I feel alive again. I’m going to be an athlete in college. My future teammates all send me messages of congratulations. I already feel like I’m part of a family. My high school teammate is running in college too. She gets congratulations on social media from half our grade. I get ice cream with my mom. She’s popular. I’m not. I don’t care. My friends tell me congratulations and give me hugs. They don’t like running, but they’re proud of me anyway. My high school coach sends out weekly workouts. I ignore them and do what my college coach tells me. I don’t feel sick anymore. I feel powerful. I feel happy. I feel fast.)

I am fast.

[elizabeth-234]

Whumptober 2019

Day Fifteen: Scars

Hi Friends!! Here is prompt fifteen! Sorry it is coming so late. This month has been so stressful! I am working on the other prompts as we speak. Thank you for sticking with it! I appreciate all the readers!

Day thirteen: Adrenaline 

Summary: It's pool day and Peter is scared to bare his scars.

“You alright in there, Peter?”

Peter stared at the door that separated him from Mr. Stark, guilt lacing his already churning stomach.

“I’m alright, Mr. Stark. I’ll be out in a minute.”

The man replied and Peter heard footsteps growing fainter. He leaned his hands against the sink breathing a long breath out. White tiles gleamed from every corner of the meticulously styled bathroom. Peter was reminded of all the At Home magazines May and him drooled over in doctor’s offices. The bathroom was insane. The whole cottage was insane. Well, they called it a cottage but it was more like a mansion in his opinion.

Peter couldn’t believe he was in California with Mr. Stark and Pepper. The changed temperament from New York was already thawing their seasonal gruffness but Peter couldn’t seem to shake the anxious armor he wore back home.

Mr. Stark said he was more than welcome to join them. He insisted in reality. May smiled and practically forced him out of the apartment, bags thrown on the sidewalk next to him. That’s how Peter found himself on a private jet with Mr. Stark and Pepper on their way to the beach house. Did it get any crazier than that?

The first day they spent in bed. Peter had never slept better and the waves just beyond his window acted as his personal sound machine. He tried to stay up late, to take a moment to breathe and listen to nature’s noise but he was drifting off in minutes.

The next day they went hiking. Hot and sweaty from Pepper’s warm up portion of the hike, him and Mr. Stark trailed behind her grumbling about the long trek. He swore her energy never weaned and thought that maybe she should have been the superhero.

Today was a pool day.

He turned and finally looked at the mirror. His skin, which frustratingly was sprinkled with blemishes before, was healing. The discoloration was still there but they didn’t look as angry. In New York he tried to avoid reflective surfaces as much as possible.  There was something going on at every second of the day it felt like and Peter didn’t have time to take care of himself along with what felt like the whole of New York. So the little things slipped. He found himself too tired to brush his teeth or sometimes even shower. One day turned into more than he was proud to admit. He loved spending time with his family but he hadn’t felt as present lately. There was something that made caring about himself hard and it was starting to show. He knew it, May knew it, and it seemed like Mr. Stark knew it, too.

After being in the sun and getting through their hike yesterday the dark circles of his eyes weren’t quite so sunken in. Peter knew what remained unchanged was hidden under his t-shirt.

His fingers flexed against the counter until the tips were white. Peter exhaled before he took the bottom of his shirt and ripped it over his head. The material fell to the ground. The folds and wrinkles creased as it settled against the tile. Peter closed his eyes before raising his head. He felt stupid keeping his eyes closed and tried to convince himself it would be fine. It couldn’t be that bad.

Peter opened his eyes and his breath caught. His chest was pale, which made the dozens of scars stand out like beacons against his skin. Some were large and faded while others were long and thin but angry looking. Each one told of a different fight. A different weakness of his and he hated them. He heard some people viewed scars as a way of showing his strength or courage in the face of danger, but each permanent mark in his skin was a reminder of every loss, every weakness he had that someone took advantage of.  

The one perpendicular to his collarbone was from a mugging. He gave the backpack back to the man it belonged but when going home Peter had been distracted and the mugger came back. It was a short struggle but he caught Peter unaware. The small scars that looked like holes were from some type of shrapnel. The projectile expanded into smaller pieces and flew into his back.

Some were puffy and misshapen, and others were small but numerous expanding all over his upper body. His hand came up to run over the raised edges. It shouldn’t matter what he looked like. Yet, it did. Mr. Stark and Pepper shouldn’t be stuck staring at the mess his body was.

It wasn’t that he thought they would hate him or anything but if he was disgusted looking at himself, wouldn’t they be? Then questions would follow, along with the stares, and… He could feel the blush working its way up his chest and onto his cheeks.

Carefully he put on his swim trunks and turned to face the door. It would be fine. It was fine. He reached his hand out and the cool metal sunk into his fingers but he couldn’t open the door. Peter couldn’t force himself to leave the bathroom and expose himself in front of two of his favorite people. Someone knocked and Peter fell back against the sink.

“Peter? Do you need help with something?”

He hadn’t heard Mr. Stark walk over and his heart was pounding.

“I’m… I’m fine. I just,” He gave a heavy sigh. “I…”

“Peter, talk to me kid. What’s the matter?” The man’s voice always took on this gentle quality when he was with Peter. He thought maybe Mr. Stark didn’t even know it did that.

“Mr. Stark, it’s nothing”

“Look kid it’s not nothing. Why don’t we talk it out?”

“It’s embarrassing.” He said harsher than he meant and there was silence from behind the door.

“There’s nothing to be embarrassed of.”



“How do you know?” Peter slid down the drawers to sit in front of the sink. His arms crossed around his knees and he stared blankly at the sterile tiles.

He heard Mr. Stark’s heart beating. The way it sped up the slightest as they talked. He heard the man run his hands through his hair and one of his hands lean against the door. “I don’t know. I’m sorry that was unfair. Can I come in? I hate talking through doors.”

Peter nodded before he realized that Mr. Stark couldn’t see but he opened the door quietly anyway and stared down at him.

“What’s the matter kid?”

Peter sighed and looked away. He wasn’t sure why he was making such a big deal about everything. The thoughts kept running around his mind and he was stuck, like the thoughts were lodged into his attention and wouldn’t come loose. He felt Mr. Stark squeeze in through the door and sit next to him.

“There are so many, Mr. Stark. It’s stupid.”

“They aren’t stupid at all.”

They stayed quiet and his thoughts became more cynical. Maybe he could show Mr. Stark a taste of it. Maybe he could show Mr. Stark before he could judge Peter. He twisted his arm out in front of them to where a raised, worm like scar was facing up on his elbow.

“This one isn’t recent. I was running down the stairs to greet Ben after he’d been gone on a business trip. I didn’t put my toys away and tripped into the stoop. I got five stitches from it and this little one.”

Peter moved and lifted up his hairline so Mr. Stark could see another long thin scar.

“This was from that building that fell on me with the vulture. I was lucky it was that small in the end.”

He heard Mr. Stark swallow but he ignored it and started to move again. Mr. Stark rested his hand on Peter’s arm and tapped is chest to where Peter knew the famous arc reactor once resided.

“We’ve all got scars kiddo.” This time it was Peter who swallowed. Mr. Stark tapped his chest once more. “This one was from a doctor who saved my life…”

The man proceeded to tell his origin with detail Peter never heard before. On and on they shared the stories etched onto their bodies. They had been together for some of them but nonetheless they continued with their retellings until they were laughing and smiling. That was how Pepper found them.

“What are you up to in the bathroom floor?” She said with a small smile.

“Nothing, Pepper dear. Just plotting on how we are going to get you swimming.”



“I told you I have a meeting later today so I can’t until tomorrow.”


“We’ll just have to see about that.” Mr. Stark said before climbing to his feet and squeezing Peter’s shoulder. He rushed forward, chasing Pepper to the pool.

Peter took a deep breath and left the bathroom, his shirt forgotten and crumpled on the floor as he chased after them. He watched as Mr. Stark tried to lift Pepper up but in the end she wrestled out of his arms. Her and Peter pushed Mr. Stark in the water. He came up gasping for breath and smiled at them standing on the edge of the pool.

“Help me up.” He said and lifted his arms so they could lift him out of the water. With both their hands secure he pulled with all his strength and sent them toppling into the water.

It was the perfect day and Peter smiled as they watched a movie in front of the fire later that evening. Mr. Stark leaned over and mussed his hair.

“Thanks for inviting me. Mr. Stark.”

“We love you, Peter. Scars and all.”

They sat watching the movie and Peter felt his eyes pulling closed, ready to sleep after a full day.

Thank you!

Taglist (let me know if you want to be added): @ourjourneysideways @verdonafrost

Day Eighteen: Muffled Scream

[azookiex3]

A Devil’s Love: Chapter 6

AN: *whistles* 7k words this time! Seriously, I’m sorry this chapter is so long. I wanted season two episodes twelve & thirteen to be in one chapter, and it ended up being way longer than I anticipated. I was thinking about splitting it up...but I got ideas for chapter seven. I think I can promise to you all that the chapters will NOT be this long. The longest I would want them to be is 5k or slightly over, minimum 2500. Almost done with season two! Maybe...two or more chapters to go? Then onto season three, and I can’t wait! 

Check out this story's playlist on Spotify! If you do please read the description so you can see how the songs are organized! 

Warnings: Swearing and Gore

Earth & Her Devil - Music Playlist

AO3 , Fanfiction Net , Wattpad

Tag List: @insanity-is-always-fun @anushay1998 @emiwrites3reads @i-am-canada-13 @heart-of-pots-and-pans @tinyybiceps

---------------------------------------------------------

Chapter 6: I Believe In You

A week had passed since you left your "nurse" to heal on your own. 

Within the first two days your body had completely healed. The rest of the five days you spent planning with Alice for the grand opening of the "Circle of Life Veterinary Clinic #2", and also helping out Chloe with any cases since it seems that her partner was avoiding her.

When Chloe called you to say she couldn't find any evidence linking Charlotte Richards to the second bomb, thank God, she told you about her "talk" with Lucifer.

Apparently their talk consisted of Chloe explaining how she has been feeling and what made her kiss him, even after he declared all of his flaws to her. Lucifer said nothing, according to Chloe. He just listened intently, and when all was said and done he said he needed to think. Chloe agreed to give him time, but she started expressing her concerns to you after the third day of silence. 

Honestly, you couldn't blame Lucifer. You hate talking about emotions too, and Lucifer didn't seem like the kind of guy who easily dealt with this kind of stuff. It's probably why he has a therapist.

However, Lucifer hadn't been completely silent this week. He did text you everyday. First it was just to make sure you were doing well healing, then it just became friendly chatter. You did question him on why he was giving Chloe the silent treatment. You expected him to ignore the question, instead he shocked you by answering.

What if it's not real?

It looks real to me, Lucifer, and to others.

Yes, well, I'm starting to think that the Detective is no longer immune to me. She has been with me too much and now my charm is coming off on her. She might even be no longer immune to my power...It'll probably happen to you too.

...uh, what? :confusedemoji:

Ah. Never mind, darling.

So, not missing my shower, yet? It sure misses you. :devilemoji:

And, that was that. You didn't dare tell Chloe about it, one because she'd be just as confused as you, and two she really didn't need to get the wrong idea about that shower comment. 

Today's the day of the grand opening, and everything is going smoothly. Your new workers are happily greeting the pets as well as the owners while handing out coupons, pamphlets on the pet health care, and answering any questions. Alice sat at a booth with a couple of the receptionists taking down new client info and signing up those interested in the insurance. You stood in front of the big red ribbon, talking to the press and answering questions while you waited for the time to tick to 11am. 

Your phone started ringing Chloe's tone. You excuse yourself and head inside your clinic to answer.

"What's up, Chlo?"

"Hey, Earth. I'm sorry to bother you, but I need you to do something."

You love your BFF, really you do, but you can't cancel this opening. Not only would it be embarrassing, but you were starting to run low on cash, "No problem, so long as I can do it over the phone."

"Don't worry, I know this opening is important to you." You hear her sigh, "This case I'm currently on is...it's bad, Earth. I'm thinking psychopath bad. Premeditated murder."

Oh shit, "Damn, Chloe. Look if you need me I'll-"

"No no. Focus on your opening today. If I don't get this solved today maybe you can help me tomorrow."

"The opening isn't all day, Chloe. I'll help as soon as it's over."

"You're going to have a lot of first patient paperwork. Take this day for that. Look, I'm calling to ask you to talk to Lucifer."

"He still isn't talking to you?" Yes, you do agree with him needing time because emotions suck, but now it felt like he was stonewalling your friend.

"No. Ella's too busy with this case right now, and I know Lucifer won't even consider listening to Dan. I'm hoping he'll listen to you."

"Alright, Chlo. I'll get your partner back to you."

"Thank You, Earth." You could just feel the tension release from her over the phone, "Tell him to meet me at the Malibu State University so I can catch him up on the case."

"You got it." You hang up and see the time is 10:50am. You sigh and click on Lucifer's contact number.

Time to come out of hiding you Devil.

---------------------------------------------------------

"Lucifer." Linda looks at her Devil patient like a stern mother rather than his therapist at the moment, "You're stalling."

Lucifer finishes his glass of water and leans back on the couch, "I don't know what your talking about, Doctor."

"You do, Lucifer." Linda's voice becomes stern and matter of factly, "You and Chloe finally reach a point in your relationship where it can move romantically, but after the kiss you left. After Chloe confesses to you, you push her away. You won't even talk to her, but instead talk to someone else."

Lucifer shifts on the couch, slightly uncomfortable with where this conversation was going.

"Lucifer." Linda's able to get his eyes to stay on hers, "Who is Earth to you? How do you feel about her?"

"I don't know what you want me to say, Doctor." Lucifer is now slightly agitated, "K9 is just a human who's fun to be around."

"She's also another human woman who is immune to your charms. Another human who you can't get to reveal their desires." Linda eyes her patient carefully.

Lucifer clearly fidgets on the couch. He doesn't speak. Instead, he looks to the window.

"I want you to tell me how you felt when you first met Chloe, to how you felt meeting Earth." Linda interlaces her fingers and rests them on her crossed knees. She waits patiently for his reply.

"Well, after the first day with the Detective I felt that she was a puzzle to solve." Lucifer looks at his therapist with a little smirk, "The first human woman to be completely immune to my charms and power. She's a puzzle and I feel a...a connection to her. A need to solve her, to watch her and be around her."

"Mhmm," Linda nods, "and Earth?"

"K9?" Lucifer's smirk forms into a smile. He gives a light chuckle, "From day one I thought of her as a sassy minx, didn't even care that she wasn't attracted to me. Truthfully, I would be too focused on making sure I had a comeback ready for whenever we'd pass each other in the precinct." His eyes start to look far away, lost in memories:

"That real estate case was the first time we talked more than just in passing. I found that we both enjoyed many of the same things, and that we share common views on various topics. I just-" Lucifer stops.

Linda urges him on, "You have to continue, Lucifer. How do you feel around her?"

"I feel...comfortable with her. I have fun with her, enjoy spending time with her. She doesn't believe in me being the Devil either, but I feel like she tolerates it better." His mind drifts to how you reacted seeing his scars.

"Maybe there's a reason as to why…" Lucifer whispers this thought to himself.

"Lucifer, I see these two types of romantic feelings often." Linda didn't hear his comment about you, "There's one where someone claims that they feel a connection with the other, which is usually referred to as 'soulmates'-" Lucifer laughs.

"And," Linda continues, "There's the 'normal'. When two people meet and feel nothing until they get to know each other more. Chloe is your 'connection' and Earth is your 'normal'."

"So, which one is the correct choice?" Lucifer's eyes plead to her, "I don't want to mess this up!"

Linda's heart breaks for him, "I can't answer that for you, Lucifer. What you need to do is find an answer to this question," Linda leans forward:

"If Earth had never come back, had never entered the picture, would you still be giving Chloe the cold shoulder?"

Linda Martin had never seen a person look as lost as Lucifer Morningstar right now.

"I…" Lucifer's phone starts playing "Who Let The Dogs Out". It was the ringtone you set for yourself after you showed him how to give everyone their own personal alerts.

"It's K9, Doctor. She doesn't usually call-"

"It's ok, Lucifer." Linda gives him a knowing smile, "Our time is up anyways."

Lucifer nods a farewell to her and leaves her office, "K9! To what do I owe the pleasure of having a phone call from you?" Lucifer's smiling ear to ear as he walks out of the building and to his car.

"Chloe called me. Again." You sound annoyed.

His smile falls, "Oh…"

"Look, Lucifer. I get it ok? Feelings are a pain in the ass to deal with, but enough is enough. You're really starting to hurt my best friend and you know I won't stand for it."

Lucifer sighs, "I understand, K9. I just-"

"Lucifer, this call wasn't about you. Chloe needs her partner back."

Lucifer paused in his walk hearing the worry in your voice. He stood a few feet away from his Corvette, "What's wrong?"

"There's a new case and it," you sigh, "it doesn't sound good, Lucifer. This guy is bad, really bad. I...can't be there for her today. I don't want her to get hurt." Lucifer doesn't reply right away, and that worried you.

"Lucifer. Chloe isn't going to ask you about anything, ok? She's too focused on stopping this guy. She can't do it without her partner."

Partner...that's right. I'm the Detective's partner, Lucifer thought.

"Well, I suppose I can't leave my partner hanging." Lucifer smirks and finishes the walk to his car.

"No, you can't." Lucifer could tell you were most likely smirking as well, "Not anymore anyways. It's really a dick move."

"Yes, yes." Lucifer sits in his car and starts her up, "Now, where does my partner need me?"

---------------------------------------------------------

The grand opening was a huge success! The clinic had plenty of clients to start off with, and more would surely come when people learned just how well of a veterinarian you are.

You sent your workers home to relax for the first official workday tomorrow. Currently, you and Alice were organizing all the new client paperwork in their respective folders for your receptionists.

But you were starting to have a really hard time focusing on the task. Chloe had been giving you hourly updates on the case, and each new piece of information was making you more and more concerned. 

This is no ordinary killer.

Alice noticed you starting to slow down and told you she could handle the rest. Normally you would disagree with her, but this case was one a Captain of any department shouldn't avoid. You give her thanks in a hug then fly out the door and into your new car, courtesy of the police heads.

As you drive to the precinct you call Chloe to let her know you're free. She tells you that her and Lucifer were heading to a college party where the next poison victim, Ashley, was currently at. She gives you the address of the second victim, Dr. Gwendolyn Scott, and tells you Dan is currently there with her to make sure she doesn't do this guys biding.

When you arrive at the precinct you tell your second, Christopher Miller, to round up a small team and three K9's, and that one of the K9's has to be the new pup, Buster, along with his partner, Jessica Blanch. As he left to do as you ask you go into the female locker room and change into your K9 uniform. When you come out you tell your team the situation, and give them the address to Dr. Scott's house. You couldn't send any with Chloe as much as you wanted to. It would blow her cover at that party.

You arrive at the house and station your men and two of the K9's around the outside of the home. You tell Blanch that her and Buster were to guard the inside. 

"Hey Dan." You approach Detective Dan Espinoza, or as you liked to refer to Lucifer's nickname for him "Detective Douche".

"Hey Earth! I'm glad you could join in. This guy is…"

"Yeah...it was hard for me to focus during the opening knowing that a person like this was out here." You cross your arms to hide the slight shiver that ran through you.

"That's right, your next clinic! Did everything go well?" 

"Yup, better than I expected honestly."

"Well believe it or not, I've heard talk around here about the 'amazing Veterinarian Earth on the east coast'." He winks friendly at you.

"Oh really?" You give him a laugh and a sarcastic look.

"Yeah! I'd over hear convos from new K9 recruits about you. The look on their faces when I told them you used to work here was priceless."

"So that's why I got a whole lot of star struck eye looks when I came back." You and him both share a light laughter, "So," you didn't want to, but this friendly chatter had to end, "where's Dr. Scott?"

Dan took a sidestep and motioned with his head behind him. You saw a clear line of sight of the Doctor sitting in a formal living room. Blanch was introducing herself and asking permission to roam her home. You see Dr. Scott give a warm smile to her and a nod of approval while she scratched Buster's head.

"How's she doing?" You whisper to Dan.

"As good as one can be when they know they're in charge of someone's life." Dan sighs solemnly.

"Yeah…"

Dan's phone rings and he excuses himself. You walk over to Dr. Scott and introduce yourself.

"Hello, Dr. Scott. I'm Earth, Captain of the K9 unit." You hold out your hand and she shakes it. Her palms were sweaty from nerves.

"Hello, Captain. One of your crew just told me how well you are at your job." She smiles at you.

"Aw, Blanch is just a suck up." You give her a wink and she actually manages a laugh.

"You doing alright, Doc?"

She sighs, "Honestly, no. I just keep thinking...what if I don't do as this guy requests? Would I really be ok knowing that my decision to say no would end a young girl's life?"

"Do you mind if I watch the video ma'am?" She shakes her head and stands to walk to her desk. She pulls up the email with the video and plays it for you as she sits back in her chair.

This guy...with his dumb mask and "superior" tone of voice made your skin crawl. He was telling the Doctor that in order to receive the antidote to cure Miss. Ashley, she had to destroy her right hand.

God...Why do people like this exist?

The video ends as soon as Dan walks into the room, "Detective Decker called me ma'am." He was speaking to Dr. Scott, "Her and her partner found Ashley at the party, but unfortunately it looks as though she's already been poisoned."

You watch as the Doctor visibly slumps in distraught on her chair.

"What should I do, Detective?"

"Don't do anything, Doctor. Ashley is at the hospital now and the Doctors are working on an antidote. I'm sure they'll make it in time."

Dr. Scott formed a look on her face that showed how you were feeling.

They won't be able to make it.

Dan leaves the room. You shut off the computer.

"Captain, what should I do? What would you do?"

You don't answer.

---------------------------------------------------------

A few hours pass before Dan receives another call from Chloe. 

It's not good news.

"She doesn't have much time left, Dan. The Doctors at the hospital can't figure out the antidote."

"Then it is specially made." Dan replies, his face is grim. You stand next to him to hear the conversation.

Unfortunately, Dr. Scott was close enough as well. She heard.

While Dan was still on the phone you heard a rattling noise. You left his side to investigate, and was horrified by the display that was about to happen in the kitchen.

"GWENDOLYN!" You yelled the Doctor's name and held your hands up. When Dan heard you yell he hung up on Chloe and ran to you, and held his hands up.

Dr. Gwendolyn Scott stood in front of her kitchen sink. The garbage disposal was running and her right hand was hovering over it.

"Dr. Scott, don't do this." Dan pleads with her. You can't speak.

"If I don't do this, Detective, an innocent woman dies. How can I compare my hand to her life."

"Doctor-" Dan starts, but it's too late.

Doctor Gwendolyn Scott shoves her hand into the garbage disposal. You want to vomit as you hear her scream and see blood and bits of flesh erupt from the sink. 

Doctor Gwendolyn Scott is a hero.

Dan runs to her, as well as Blanch who heard her screams. You stand still, but find your voice long enough to call for a medic dispatch and call Chloe.

---------------------------------------------------------

Chloe and Lucifer arrive shortly after the medics have Dr. Scott on a gurney and finish bandaging her ruined hand.

The two of them talked with her, Dan stepped outside to get air after that gruesome scene, and you-

You were still standing in the same spot. Your focus entirely on the blood and bits of brown skin that clung to the countertop and sink.

This guy is a monster.

"And I thought you looked fit before. But now."

You choke on air as your body jumps out of your skin. You whirl around and see Lucifer standing behind you with a hungry look.

"You look delicious in uniform, K9. You should wear it more often."

"I only wear this on important cases, and did you really have to use the word 'delicious' in this scenario?" You give him dagger eyes. You hold your chest to breath evenly again.

"Hmm." Lucifer looks at the carnage behind you, "Good point." He smiles down at you, "But at least I got you to stop looking at it."

You look up at him, and can't help the tug at your heart. A corner of your mouth lifts slightly, "Yeah...thanks."

Lucifer just continues to smile at you, but now there's a twinkle in his eye.

"So," you cross your arms and smile fully at him, "How's it feel being back with your partner?"

"It was bloody weird." His sheer bluntness made both your eyebrows go up.

"Only at first though. Thankfully, the Detective seems to be back to her 'normal'." Lucifer plays with his cufflinks and side glances Chloe's direction.

"What happened?"

"She slapped my bum, made inappropriate jokes over a dead body, and suggested making out in the library."

You burst into laughter.

"It's not funny! It was bloody terrifying!" Lucifer complains.

"She was just trying to be more like you, Lucifer." You manage to choke out in your laughter, "Are you saying you're not attracted to yourself?"

"Not if it's the Detective trying to roleplay as me." He visibly shivers and that makes you laugh even more.

The sound of your K9s barking outside the front door immediately cuts off your laughter. Captain mode takes over and you stride away from Lucifer and out the front door to see what was going on. As you passed by Chloe she rested her hand on her holstered gun and gave you a nod.

Miller had a delivery man stopped on the walkway. When you walk over the man says he has a delivery for Doctor Gwendolyn Scott. You question him on who gave him the package, but the man says it just showed up in his pile of runs. 

You take the package from him and tell Miller to take him to the station to get an official statement. You go back inside and hand it over to Chloe.

You stand on the other side of the Doctor's gurney, and Lucifer had chosen to stand next to you as Chloe unravels the contents.

She looks up and stares at the three of you.

"It's the antidote."

---------------------------------------------------------

Dan and Chloe drove to the hospital to give Ashley the antidote before it was too late. Lucifer decided to stay with you to "help" you clear out the Doctor's house and wait for the cleaning crew to finish in her kitchen. You noticed Chloe giving him a "look" when he chose to stay behind. You question him about it and he just shrugs saying, "Hospitals are dreadful places."

As soon as the cleaning crew had finished Chloe called you saying to come to the precinct asap with Lucifer. Her and Dan were able to get a link between Ashley and the first poisoned victim.

"I had a feeling this case would be an all nighter." You tell Lucifer as you hang up and you both walk to your car.

"No rest for the wicked, darling." Lucifer smiled devilishly at you. You smiled back.

As you two walk into the precinct you give Alice an early morning text update. You told her you most likely wouldn't be able to make it in the clinic for the first day. Surprising you, she texts back saying "Good thing there's no major surgeries :winkieface:". 

You hate not being at your clinic for the first official day. You and Alice interviewed the workers and other veterinarians extensively, but you always liked working the first couple days with them to make sure they were good. Thank God you had Alice, who you trust wholeheartedly.

You and Lucifer walk into Ella's lab where Dan and Chloe were waiting. You noticed that look again on Chloe when Lucifer decided to stay near you while Ella explained the new information.

Dan and Chloe were able to find out from Ashley that she had received a flu shot earlier in the day. Ella was able to find out that the first victim also got a flu shot the same day he was poisoned. Thanks to the information Ashley gave and what Ella could dig up, both students received their shots by a Dr. Jason Carlisle.

"Dr. Jason Carlisle?" Dan says in shock.

"You know him?" Chloe questions.

"I know of him. Here," Dan goes to the computer in the room and pulls up traffic security footage. You all watch as this Dr. Jason Carlisle crawls out of a turned over vehicle. In the footage you can see the driver of the vehicle asking the Doctor for help, but instead the Doctor grabs his briefcase and runs away as the vehicle explodes, killing the driver.

"Hmph. Some doctor." You cross your arms and shake your head at the actions on the video.

"Yeah. After this was televised Dr. Carlise lost his medical license and all respect from his peers." Dan replies.

"He's probably the one responsible for creating these poisons and their unique antidotes." Ella points out.

"He's doing this to show people how he felt he had no choice." Chloe says.

Lucifer scoffs, "Everyone has a bloody choice."

"So, how do we find this guy?" You ask the room.

"Attack his ego." Lucifer says and everyone looks at him, "I know his type. Attack his precious ego and he'll make himself known."

"That's the stupidest thing-" Dan starts but Chloe leaves the lab in a fly and sits at her desk. Everyone, but Ella, follows the Detective and sees that she's pulled up an email and is writing to Dr. Carlise.

Dan is trying to get Chloe to stop, but Lucifer and you are encouraging her. Both of you tell her various ego tripping things to write, and even though Dan tries to stop her, Chloe hits send.

In less than thirty seconds she receives a reply, and it's a video call. She opens it up and all four of your stare at the man with the mask. Chloe tells him we know who he really is and why he's doing this. The Doctor removes his mask and explains his experiment and how the police presence in Doctor Scott's household "made" her choose to destroy her hand.

You call him out on his bullshit, receiving a low high five from Lucifer, and how Dr. Scott was planning on destroying her hand from the start. Dr. Carlise doesn't believe you, and pans the camera to show you all how he already has another "experiment" happening as we speak. He explains the circumstance and ends the call. 

Chloe and Ella do quick work in tracing the call to a hospital that Dr. Carlise was rivals of. Chloe pulls Lucifer by the arm to get him to follow, and after a look from you he obliges.

She's your partner. Protect her.

---------------------------------------------------------

"This case is now top number one of the worst cases I've been on." Chloe flops down on her couch next to you with a full glass of wine in hand. 

Chloe asked you to come to her place to unwind after the Hell this case has been. You agreed because you could tell she needed to vent.

She starts talking about the situation that happened over at the hospital Dr. Carlise was holed up in. She talks about how her and Lucifer had to watch helplessly as the Doctor dropped poisonous gas onto the floor, making her and Lucifer unable to just break into the room to save the two students. She talks about her fear of leaving Lucifer alone in that situation in order to catch the Doctor. 

She downs her drink quickly after talking about watching the Doctor slit his own throat in front of her. How she watched the life leave his eyes, and neck. 

But then, without the wine's help, she becomes giddy and warm. She tells you about how happy and relieved and thankful she was when she saw Lucifer step out of the building completely unharmed. She didn't even think to question him about it.

"I immediately hugged him and said how we do make an amazing team." She says with a far off gaze to her empty glass. She then looks at you with a smile and wet eyes, "He said 'This is real, isn't it?", and ...well."

"It's official now?" 

"Yeah."

"That's wonderful, Chlo!" You pull your BFF into an immediate hug while ignoring whatever that feeling was in your chest. She laughs while holding back tears, and hugs you back. You two then talk about things not about the case, and Chloe excuses herself to the bathroom.

You become concerned after ten minutes of her being silent.

"Chloe? You ok?" You got up from the couch and went up into her room. You knocked on the open door.

"I...I don't know…Earth!" You push into Chloe's room and into her bathroom at the sound of her voice. She's standing in front of her sink, which has piles of bloody tissues in it.

---------------------------------------------------------

"DETECTIVE!" 

Lucifer Morningstar storms into Chloe Decker's apartment furiously. He looks around the kitchen and living room to see she wasn't there. A noise from above gave him a direction.

"DETECTIVE! DID YOU KNOW?!" Lucifer yells as he storms upstairs.

"THIS WHOLE BLOODY TIME, DID YOU KNOW?!" Lucifer stomps into her room and sees the bathroom door open.

"DETEC-" Lucifer stops when he sees you holding Chloe by the shoulders. 

You look at him, wide eyed and terrified, "Lucifer…"

"What-"

"Lucifer," Chloe speaks now in a garbled tone. You allow her to turn around to face her partner.

Lucifer immediately steps into Chloe's personal space at the sight of her red eyes and bloody nose.

Chloe cries, "It won't stop."

---------------------------------------------------------

You stand inside Ella's lab, waiting for the energetic little ball of happiness to come in. You felt bad asking Ella to come in this late at night and after just finishing the last case, but Ella told you not to worry. An emergency is an emergency and it's her job. 

Your fingers tap rhythmically on the table in stress. Seeing your BFF being poisoned by something that no one can make an antidote for, except the guy who just commitied suicide, really terrified you. At least, with the help of Lucifer, you were able to convince Chloe to go to the hospital instead of here.

You hear the door open and look up expecting to see Ella. Instead, your heart drops at the site of Lucifer and the woman who should be in the fucking hospital.

"Why the fuck-" 

"Calm down, Earth." Chloe holds up her hands to you, "I told him to bring me here."

"Yes, much to my disapproval." Lucifer mutters.

"Chloe-"

"You know me, Earth! I can't just sit by and do nothing when I know I can help!" Chloe says.

"But for how long?!" You move to stand right in front of her, "Chloe, you exerting yourself could make this thing spread faster! We already only have twenty hours if that!"

"I know, Earth!" Chloe can feel Lucifer's hand on the small of her back. She takes deep breaths to calm herself, "I know. Look, I'll be careful, and if it gets too much I swear I'll go to the hospital. But, I need to do something."

You just cross your arms and head back to the table. Ella shows up and Chloe gives her a rundown on the situation without telling the poor girl who the real victim was. Ella explains how they did find some poison on the Doctor's body, but the antidote that went with it had been destroyed. Chloe, Lucifer, and you all share a look.

Then some man you've never seen before is calling Lucifer's name and Lucifer pulls the man into the interrogation room. Seeing as how Ella and Chloe didn't seem to question the strange commotion, you decided not to say anything. Lucifer is a strange guy after all.

Ella starts listing out all the beginning signs of the poison, which makes Chloe turn paler and paler. To derail the talk of it you ask if anyone else could have access to the antidote formula. Ella didn't believe so, but Chloe pops in with hope that maybe the guy who smuggled the stuff in might know something. She didn't believe the Doctor would trust that stuff to be handled by just anyone. 

She leaves the room to get Lucifer, but when you offered your assistance she says she wants you to stay with Ella, and eventually Dan, to help think up an antidote. Your heart felt strange when you saw her and Lucifer leave the building, with him being closer to her than usual.

She's dying. Their together. You told him to protect her.

You wipe the feeling away and turn to Ella. This was Chloe who was dying, and you needed everyone to be working at their best.

You tell Ella the truth.

---------------------------------------------------------

Lucifer and Chloe have been gone for about an hour and a half now. Dan showed up not too long after the two left and you, him, and Ella have been working together to try to at least figure out all the ingredients for the antidote.

Lucifer's ringtone starts playing on your phone and you answer it.

"Lucifer-"

"She fainted, K9." He sounds scared. You'd never imagined hearing Lucifer Morningstar sound scared, "I'm taking her to the hospital now."

"Alright, I'll be right there." You hang up and look up to Dan.

"Dan. Get Trixie." 

He didn't even have to ask what for. He was out the door in a flash. Ella told you she'd keep working and to give Chloe her love. You nod and head out the door as fast as Dan did.

---------------------------------------------------------

The early morning sun has now risen. Chloe now only had about ten hours left.

You sat in Chloe's room chatting with her about the situation. When you see Lucifer standing at the window you get up and give Chloe a hug. You leave the room and watch from a distance the two of them talk. 

You hear Dan and Trixie sign in at the desk behind you, and Lucifer leaves the room just as the ex husband and daughter come to the door. You notice Dan give Lucifer a look of disapproval before entering the room, and one of your hands balls into a fist in your crossed arms.

One of the reasons I dislike that guy. He always puts the blame on someone else.

"I'm sorry." The sound of Lucifer's distress pulls you from your thoughts. You walk to stand in front of him, arms still crossed.

"What for?"

"I didn't protect her. Couldn't protect her. I thought I had by sending her after him, but-" Lucifer starts spilling out. You unfold your arms and place a strong hand on one of his arms, stopping him.

"Lucifer." You stare up at him, "This wasn't your fault. I don't blame you. I blame the bastard of a Doctor who stabbed her with the needle." You let go of him and step to his side so you could watch the tragic family scene through the window.

"I hope you're right about there being a Hell, and I hope he's being tortured as we speak."

"He is darling. Trust me." Lucifer turns around to watch the scene with you.

"Good. Wish I was the one torturing him, though." You sigh, shoulders slumped, "I'm going to get one of my K9s and just chill here. If she…" you choke up, but swallow it, "I'll be here if you need me." You give Lucifer a pat on the shoulder and turn to leave.

"K9."

You stop a few feet from the exit door. You turn your body to face him and your heart breaks at the emotion on his face.

"I promise you, I will get the antidote." Lucifer's tone was serious, but his eyes looked wet. Yet...you felt drawn to him. You could tell he meant what he said.

He always tells the truth.

Unable to contain it any more, tears fall down your face. You run to him and wrap your arms around his neck. You stand on your tiptoes in order to hug him fully. 

You're surprised that he doesn't even hesitate to hug you back. He always hesitates when someone hugs him.

"I trust you, Lucifer." You pull him even closer, and only feel slightly ashamed for probably ruining his suit jacket, "I believe in you."

---------------------------------------------------------

Chloe Decker now only has about three hours left. 

And you could do nothing.

Lucifer had promised to save her, to somehow get the antidote formula. You had no clue how he could get it, or why you seemed to trust him. You haven't seen him since you hugged him. You've tried texting him to find out how it was going, but he didn't reply. So now you were concerned for his safety because he always replied.

Dan and Ella were having a hell of a time just trying to get the ingredients. Ella texted you not too long ago saying that they're just missing one more, and she thinks she knows where to get it.

And what were you doing? You're standing outside the doors to the lobby area. If you sat in the lobby you'd be looking too much into Chloe's room window, and from the talk of the doctors that were walking by it didn't sound like she was doing too good.

You can't watch your best friend deteriorate so fast in front of your eyes. Besides that, you'd feel like you would get in Trixie's way. She hadn't left her mother's side since she arrived.

You hear Buster whine, and you scratch his head absentmindedly. When you left Lucifer you went to the precinct to grab the first K9 you saw. For protection for Chloe, and comfort for you. You love your dogs.

Buster nudges his nose in your palm. You look down at him.

"What is it, bud?"

He whines some more.

Sorry…out…

"It’s not a problem, bud. I could use some fresh air anyways."

You take Buster to the small green area across the street from the hospital. You lean up against a tree and look up to the sky. You take a deep breath in of city air, and can't help but imagine Chloe never taking a breath again. Never growing old or seeing Trixie grow into a wonderfully strong women. Never playing with possible grandchildren. Never being happy with Lucifer--

You release the breath, "Well, if Heaven's real then she'll be with her dad at least."

You look back to find Buster, "Come on boy." He trots to you and you both walk back across the street and into the hospital.

"Officer!"

You see one of the hospital security guards run to you, "The patient, Chloe Decker, has to move to another room, but there's a man who's blocking the way! He's pushed aside every one of us!"

You nod to the guard and head for the stairwell. You and Buster run up four flights and push through the lobby door.

You watch as two more security guards get tossed aside like dolls back into the lobby. You stride forward, gun aimed and Buster between your legs, "HANDS UP, NOW!"

The man turns around. It's the same man that called for Lucifer in the precinct.

You squint at him suspiciously, "Who are you?!" Buster growls beneath you.

The man looks surprised, "So you're Earth, or well, I guess I should be saying K9."

You grip your gun harder. Buster feels you tense up and walks a bit closer to the man, teeth baring, "Who the hell are you?!"

It's like he just realized now what kind of predicament he's in, "I'm sorry," he holds his hands up to you, "I'm Amenadiel, Lucifer's brother."

You snort.

"Officer! He won't let me get my patient to a more appropriate room!" The main doctor tells you behind Amenadiel.

"Well, as Lucifer's supposed brother, you should know he wouldn't appreciate someone getting in the way of saving Chloe's life." You keep your aim trained on Amenadiel’s chest.

"I do know that, and that's why I can't let Chloe leave this room."

Now you were confused, "Why?"

"Lucifer is getting the formula as we speak, but Chloe needs to stay right here."

"Why?"

Amenadiel shakes his head, "You won't believe me. Look," he puts his hands down and takes a step towards you. You stand your ground and Buster barks at him in warning, "Do you trust Lucifer?"

You’re quiet for a beat. You careful study this "brother", "I do."

"Then please, do not allow Chloe to leave here." You can hear the pleading in his voice. He wants you to believe him.

You look over his shoulder to see Chloe becoming paler in her bed. She started to shake from a slight seizure and the doctor's nurses held her down.

The doctor looks at you, "Please, officer! She needs help!"

You look between her, Amenadiel, and Chloe.

I trust you, Lucifer. I believe in you.

You release air through your nose. You holster your gun. You order Buster to guard the door and not let anyone through or out. You stand next to Amenadiel, "I know she does, Doctor." You cross your arms and stand firm. 

Unbeknownst to you, Amenadiel looks at you with interest.

"Chloe Decker is not leaving this room until Lucifer Morningstar returns with the formula."

---------------------------------------------------------

You weren't a rogue cop for long.

You feel somebody grip your shoulder from behind. You whirl around ready to punch whoever it was that got past Buster, but your fists immediately turn into hands of support.

“Lucifer!” 

He looks like he just came back from the dead. His clothes are completely disheveled and he was sweating profusely. He holds onto your shoulders tightly and you keep him upright by his underarms with the help of Amenadiel.

He mutters out the formula to the doctor and she runs off to make it with the ingredients Ella dropped off not to long ago. You and Amenadiel move him to chair in the room, but he refuses to sit and instead leans against the wall. Amenadiel leaves quickly, and you’re left “alone” with Lucifer.

“Lucifer…” You start to choke up again. He looks so awful and it’s breaking you.

What did he do?

“Lucifer.” You can’t stop the tears again. You let them fall free while you use both hands to hold on to his face. You wipe the sweat from his brow and try to straighten his hair, “Are you ok?”

“She’ll be ok now,” he breaths out. He looks over you at Chloe, “That’s all that matters.”

“No, Lucifer. That’s not all that matters.” He looks down to you, eyes filled with confusion. 

He’s waiting for you to say something, but you’re too choked up on emotion.

I hate emotions, too.

You just wrap your arms around his neck like the first hug, except this one was different. Tighter, different emotions unspoken. He does hesitate on this hug, but eventually his arms find their way around your waist and he holds on tight. 

He rests his head on your shoulder, “Earth…” he breaths into your neck.

You remove your head from his shoulder and he does the same from yours. You both stare into each other's eyes deeply. One of his arms snakes it’s way up your back so his hand can hold the back of your head. Your faces start to come closer together, but you can’t tell if he’s doing it or you, or maybe both.

“I have it!” You both blink at each other, seeming to wake up from whatever force was pulling you both. You both look to the side to see the doctor holding a syringe. A nurse puts a tube inside Chloe’s vain and the doctor rushes over. You twist around in Lucifer’s arms so that your back is to him. 

You expected him to remove his hands, but instead he keeps one arm around your waist while the other hangs onto the wall. You feel him tug you closer as you two watch Chloe’s vital signs fall back to normal.

“It worked! She’s going to make it!” The doctor says happily. You in turn smile at Chloe as new tears fall from your eyes.

You didn’t see Lucifer’s face turn grim.

---------------------------------------------------------

Lucifer was with Chloe when she first woke up. The two talk briefly before he leaves and tells everyone in the lobby that she’s awake now. He watches as Ella, Dan, Trixie, and you rush into the room. He looks from the window all of you smiling, laughing and hugging Chloe.

He puts his hands in his pockets and stands firm. After one last look at you he leaves.

---------------------------------------------------------

Three days have passed since Chloe’s poisoning. She had to stay in the hospital for the rest of that day just to ease the doctors, and everyone’s, mind that she really was cured. You stayed with her that day along with everyone else.

Except for Lucifer. After you greeted Chloe from waking up you left the room to look from him, but the receptionist said he had left. You thought nothing of it. He had looked to have a rough day after all.

But after twenty four hours of zero response you started getting worried. Chloe kept asking for him and nobody, including yourself and Maze, seemed to be able to get a hold of him.

In present time you were at your clinic. It was past 9pm and everyone went home for the day. You stayed behind to lock up and look at patient reports for the day. You finish putting the reports away and counting the money. Just as you locked the front door Chloe’s ringtone went off.

“Chloe, you alright?” you answer as you get into your car.

“He’s gone, Earth.” She’s trying to keep from crying, “I’m at his penthouse and he’s...everything’s covered it sheets.”

“He’s gone!”

[bloodline-rpg]

Congratulations, Bigby! We have accepted your application for your OC, Tyler Orville (FC  Dane Dehaan) Please create a new blog (not a sideblog) for your character and send us the link via ask box as soon as you can. Along with your link, please let us know what lyric you’d like for us to use for Tyler in his bio if you do not wish to use the one on the skeleton. Welcome to Bloodline!

OUT OF CHARACTER

Name/Alias: Bigby

Age: Twenty-Six (twenty-seven as of jan 26, 2020!).

Preferred pronouns: they/them

Timezone: est

Level of activity (don’t give your activity a number value, please describe how active you will be as best as possible): I work full-time midnight shifts from 11:30pm - 7:30 am. I am gone from the house from 10:30 pm until 8:30 am. I do not get online in my “mornings” but after work I’m usually on for a couple hours before bed. This is/would be my only rp group so I can devote my free time and attention to it outside of regular adult responsibilities. That being said, I do have regular access to tumblr IM and discord while away for plotting and keeping in touch/up to date.

CHARACTER DETAILS

(The Resurrected skeleton).

Character’s Name: Tyler Orville

Desired FC: Dane Dehaan

Character’s Age: Twenty-Seven

Character’s Species: Immortal Witch

Character’s Sexuality: Bisexual

CHARACTER BIOGRAPHY

Tyler lived a fractured childhood. Fragmented moments glimpsed of a possibility, at something forever out of reach. He was born sick. Sick in an ever changing way, as if the unnamed disease that ravaged his body was more than such, as if the very illness were alive. He was their first child born following two miscarriages, two elder siblings he’d never know and he couldn’t help but think bitterly that whatever awful thing nested within his being had been the root cause of their deaths.

Francine Calhoun, his mother came from a long, long line of original witches; the kind of old blood that prided themselves on their lineage so much so that inbreeding had been commonplace in generation’s past. Her courtship and subsequent marriage the kind of witch that barely qualified as a witch. The kind of witch, that if it were a mere man and nothing more; would only go to church on Easter and Christmas and call themselves a devout Christian.  In fact, Teddy Orville hadn’t been much of a witch for the last several years; a decade even, outside of the odd potion infused tea to help during the university crunch before exams anyway.

Much of Tyler’s life was spent in hospitals. Moved from one doctor’s appointment to the next; a seemingly endless stream of doctors approaching his case with first fresh faced enthusiasm and big dreams of curing the incurable before frustration, disappointment, shame…no tests they ran produced conclusive results. Were they absolutely certain it was not environmental? Were they certain it wasn’t all just in his head? What a wicked thing to ask a boy of barely nine years, far too small and too many sharp edges, sunken eyes and blood stained lips.

His parents refused to give up.

Isolated from their magical foundations (your child’s illness, your child’s pain and suffering, your damned spawn’s death is what you deserve for allowing your body, your womb, to be tainted with such a lesser man’s seed) Francine struggled to cope, struggled to combat the evil plaguing her son’s body with her magical abilities coupled with modern medicine. For the time being, Tyler was alive even if that was touch and go; would it not be kinder to let him pass? To let him go?

He drifted from palliative care back to intensive, back to long term; his education was sporadic at best. Not once did he set foot in an actual school and he longed for a life outside these walls; to be like the children he watched on television or read about in his books. He longed for some greater being to come and purge him of this wicked illness in his breast and though his parents struggled to provide him with a life; he wasn’t living, was barely surviving the day: rinse and repeat.

His life changed when he received a clunky laptop at thirteen, it allowed him an unheard of outlet to the world in forums, in chat rooms, through games. He could be anybody. Anyone but himself. And maybe in the beginning he fell in love with that anonymity. He was no longer the sad little sick boy, he could be a regular boy doing regular boy things like going to school, playing sports, and hanging out with his friends. Friends. He began to make those too.  That was new. He’d never had friends that weren’t the nursing staff in the unit he stayed at or the PSWs that came to his home when he was enjoying one of his rare “good” streaks (they never lasted).

There were other children in the pediatric wards of course, but they were never the long term kind of patients. Not like him. There were the odd handful that stayed for a couple months, and some even a couple years but…their endings were not happy ones.

Technology improved with time, not just with his laptop but with medicine. With such improvements came new hope. And new disappointment. Funny that, he thought he’d long been accustomed to the bitter taste. As he got older, his good streaks became less and time spent within the gently titled comfort of his own home became sparse until it became nonexistent. By this point in time, the knowledge of witches had become common; and some younger, braver, perhaps even brasher doctors went against the norm to seek help out in these communities but came up empty handed.

His parents were drowning in debt, in sorrow and their exhaustion showed. Tyler almost wished they hated him. Wished they’d move on. Try again with another baby, a healthy baby. Do it right this time, since he was nothing but wrong.

He’s so young. The staff whispered, pity, sorrow heavy; had been whispering since he was in the single digits. Tyler would be forever young despite being closer to thirty than twenty. His activity in his group chat dropped to an all time low, his oldest friends feared the worst.

And he discovered something unheard of.

It was the kind of discovery one could only stumble upon in the places on the internet that no one should go. Where only those with wicked intent did linger. Immortality. It seemed too good to be true, some old wives tale; some fantasy story straight out of the games he played with his friends (less and less so these days).

Only it was real.

And it was obtainable.

A cure.

I’m a real boy.

Talking about being forever young had never rung so true, the doctor’s were baffled. His family was torn between horror and gratitude. He stood in the hospital garden, barefoot with dirt between his toes (and the odd cigarette butt or two but that’s less romantic) and simply basked in the sun. It was as close to a religious experience as he’d ever experienced, and he’d spent a lot of time praying to an uncaring God over the years. Begging. Pleading. Cursing.

He sent a letter written in a terribly untidy scrawl to Carden Manor requesting the chance to relocate. To discover the culture he’d never had the chance to experience, of witches and wolves and perhaps others like him. After all, it was the only community of their people he could name and maybe he was still on the tail-end of euphoria that had him wanting to throw himself into the deep end so to speak.

Maybe there was something darker there, something darker that festered close to pain towards his parents. Resentment. Anger. They claimed to have exhausted all means but what of this? “It’s something born of the darkest of magic Tyler please…” had it been a line they were unwilling to cross? Had they known about it all along but their morals had them unable to act?  This was an old magic, this wonderful beautiful thing that had been a boon to his ravaged body. This thing that had given him a new lease on life, was to him far more a blessing than any kind of curse. Already accustomed to the taste of (his own) blood on his tongue, the need to consume such a thing to survive was such that he didn’t even bat an eye.

Anger. It simmered, boiled toward all consuming and dark. Terribly, terribly dark. A want for violence, to let his hands hook into claws and act out such emotions; revenge? He wasn’t sure. Though, Tyler was absolutely sure of one thing: he wanted away from them.

Moving to the manor was the second best thing to ever happen to him and he’s all too eager to dive into a life he never thought he’d get the chance to have.

To live.

CHARACTER PERSONALITY

It’s almost painfully obvious that Tyler’s social skills are lacking. Limited socialization during his formative years has left its mark. The bulk of his ability to interact with his peers is stilted and awkward, he can come off as blunt, flat, and even cruel. Withdrawn as though secretive (and he is hiding something, hiding who and what he used to be before his immortality) he comes off as standoffish and every bit some kind of “edgy loner kid” persona. Though he is most comfortable when alone or in front of a keyboard, residing at the manor demands that he evolve past this. As does his new lease on life. He’s trying.

Incredibly self-motivated, Tyler is almost too eager to learn more of the supernatural world to which he’s been removed from for so long. His own magical talent, lacking largely in part due to a lack of proper training. His parents, understandably, had been much too focused on his ailing health. He has a truly impressive repertoire for potions and enchantments; the kinds of witch’s work one can learn from a tome but has very little hands on experience. His frustration for his…otherness that still remains is palpable. As though he hasn’t really changed. And due to such a state, he tends to lash out at his peers which does little to earn him any friends.

He’s used to not having friends, even if he finds himself frustrated with his inability to adapt in this regard. It’s a lot more difficult than he anticipated to reshape himself into somebody, a new and improved version of Tyler Orville.

Some parts of his original self remains, a quiet thoughtfulness, an impossible patience at odds with his frustration, and an optimism he tries to keep buried deep down for fear of coming off over eager and annoying.

PLOTS AND POLITICS

Presently, Tyler stands fairly neutral on the in game political spectrum due largely in part to his inexperience. His outsider status borders on some sort of isolation; which in a way, speaks the truth. He was woefully isolated from his people and hardly had it in him to follow the news much outside of the big events. Like the world discovery their kind in 2016, he saw that; read about it. His friends in the group chat talked about it. A lot. He and his best friend, Alex, fretted in a private chat about the repercussions of such a thing.

He’s not too overly keen on the servitude aspect of other species, finds it rather barbaric if he’s being honest but is well aware of the delicate line he walks here. Outsider. He’s the son of a marrying of a strong bloodline into a weak one, he never once met his Mother’s family and knows nothing of their history. Of their possible feuds. His Father’s family could never hope to hold a torch to such greatness. Tyler straddles the line between a somebody and a nobody.

In this, he could potentially be shaped into a supported of any party with the right guidance. He has power given his immortal status and his bloodline is strong, if watered down some with his Father’s genetics. He could prove to be a promising ally to any party should they wish to court him so.

As far as plots go, I want to explore him well, exploring life in person instead of looking on from the outside in. I want him to interact with his peers from wildly different walks of life and learn more about the world. The world, his world that had been so very small has suddenly exploded into something so grand.

I also have a potential wanted connection for him to offer, in the form of his best friend Alex (who can be played male, female, or non-binary) who is also a supernatural (species up to the potential other mun) and they met playing an unnamed fantasy mmorpg. Alex brought Tyler into their group of friends and they’ve been Tyler’s main friend group ever since. Tyler has gone radio silent before, but this is something new altogether. It’s like he’s dropped off the face of the Earth and Alex fears the worst. What exactly brings Alex to the manor would be 100% up to the other mun but a reunion would absolutely be required and their future interactions and relationship is anyone’s guess!

[willidleaway]

Doctor Who, series 12 as a whole

In short: [looks up if the last SW:TCW season will be out on Blu-ray]

Oh hi, didn’t see you come in. I was trying to distract myself from the fact that series 12 of Doctor Who went there.

I mean, the show’s gone up itself a bit, hasn’t it? And I do mean that quite literally. It’s gone upstream in canon and I just don’t know why Chibnall bothered. It’ll teach me to complain about Moffat’s new!Who for taking Doctor-lore so seriously, I suppose, given everything that’s happened now.

Things I liked about series 12: I do feel that with Chibnall as showrunner, each series feels more cohesive in a way that they did not with Moffat, and really not even necessarily with RTD. Plot elements get set up and paid off all throughout the series, and it’s a nice thing to see.

Sacha Dhawan was pretty great to watch, and I rather think maybe his introduction in this series brought out a bit more in Thirteen as well.

Things I can’t say I liked about series 12: just about everything else. This is not equivalent to saying I hated everything else about series 12. But this is me saying that at the end of the day, I found the plotting too exhausting with not enough heart to get me to care much about the story or the characters. The show’s starting to feel like a caricature of itself, in many ways.

In less short: again, I don’t mean to say I disliked everything about series 12 apart from the new Master and the improved cohesion, but I ended up pretty indifferent about much of it, and did start to get a bit irritated by the increasing defiance of ‘show, don’t tell’. But I’m really disheartened by the fact that series 11′s focus on the companions seems to have been just a passing whimsy in the overall picture of Chibnall’s master plan.

But what exactly was the godforsaken point of this master plan anyway? Why bother plotting this series so tightly and cohesively together if the message at its heart is ... basically nothing but a revelation about our protagonist, and one that ultimately (not at first, but ultimately) holds no emotional weight by the protagonist’s own admission? Great, you’ve woven this giant earth-shattering twist into the Doctor Who canon. But is that all that the show is good for? Editing its own lore?

Of course, part of this is that I’m old. (As far as you know.) The show that returned in 2005 is not the show that’s airing now in 2020, and as someone who was sold on new!Who based on the vision it had in RTD’s time, I’m bound to connect less strongly with Chibnall’s vision for the show. This sort of evolution is fine in principle—even necessary—if it’s actually still good television, competent storytelling, with its heart in the right place and an audience that it speaks to. I’ll admit that series 12 is spectacular television in the literal sense of it being a right flashy spectacle of a show—Spyfall should have convinced everyone of that—but is it good? And the serious doubt I have after watching this finale—I had an inkling of a doubt back in episode 3 but by god it’s a serious doubt now—is: is Doctor Who, under Chibnall’s supervision, actually a competent show?

I’ve seen multiple people across subreddits compare this finale to Episode IX of the increasingly incredulous Star Wars saga, and I can’t say I disagree. I’d honestly almost extend the comparison to all of series 12—you have to, in a sense, because the series just functions that cohesively.

And I’d make the comparison a tad favourable to The Rise of Skywalker, actually. There is a case to be made that JJ Abrams, for all his faults and overambitious gambits, was trying to say something beyond just ‘oh Palpatine never died and Snokes grow in jars’ or ‘oh here’s the skinny on Rey’s ridiculously dark past’. I genuinely saw attempts—gestures—at broader messages like ‘you are not alone’ and ‘together we can overcome anything’. I’m not saying these are particularly novel or insightful messages to try and convey, and I’m not saying they were even conveyed that competently. (Episode IX fell into the same more-tell-than-show pit of quicksand that series 12 has found itself in, for one.) But by god there was at least an attempt, whereas I don’t see that here.

If you want a study in contrast, look no further than Moffat’s series 9 finale in comparison to the finale we got tonight. There was an actual character arc! Twelve’s obsession with his ‘duty of care’ bit back on him! He was forced to recognise loss as part of events! Granted, Moffat still pulled his ‘everybody lives’ gambit so Clara only technically died and for all intents and purposes lives a fairly exciting life for many years after we say goodbye to her. But there was an actual emotional resonance that was there!

The point is that Moffat, for all his lovely diversions into past show lore and Time Lord social psychology, never forgot about human relationships and human emotions and how they drove the audience’s investment in new!Who. I mean, sometimes it was played up in a rom-com way (you can take Coupling out of the TV schedules, but never out of Moffat’s writing, I suspect), and there were times when it worked and times when it definitely didn’t work. But it was always there. You could find it. You could see yourself in it, sometimes.

This? What was the point of this? The Doctor is the Timeless Child. It turns out this was a carefully guarded secret known only to the highest echelons of Time Lord society and certainly to the ominously named Division. A large chunk of the Doctor’s life is basically missing, possibly forever.

From a lore point of view: sure, this has massive implications! And Chibnall is at least smart/restrained enough not to spell it all out, and at the end of the day there’s still some mystery—at least, for as long as Chibnall doesn’t proceed to smash that to bits as well in the remainder of his tenure.

But from a storytelling standpoint? Ruth!Doctor even spells it out: ‘have you ever been limited by who you were before?’ The Doctor’s past, ultimately, just doesn’t matter. It doesn’t matter to the companions. It doesn’t matter to the Doctor. It doesn’t matter to (I would wager) a large part of Doctor Who’s audience. Chibnall knew this and yet built the whole arc of series 12 around this revelation, which was totally irrelevant to the heart of the show by his own indirect admission.

It doesn’t feel like the sort of thing that you build a 10-episode run around. It feels like something you drop like a mic at the end of a two-parter, and then pick up the pieces of the next time around. In fact, you know, I think series 12 would have been better if we started off with this revelation, giving us time to have any meaningful emotional fallout, some space for it to breathe.

Series 1 had the revelation that Gallifrey was destroyed in the Last Great Time War, but we didn’t build to it. It was given to us near the outset, in episode 2. And new!Who was richer for it, for treating the Time War not as a culmination of some arc, but something that impacted so many subsequent events in the Doctor’s life and by extension in the companions’ lives. The big surprise in series 1 was the Bad Wolf, because it was Rose all along—basically your average Londoner whisked away into extraordinary circumstances and doing extraordinary things. There’s some value in seeing that sort of thing on screen. I don’t find any such value in seeing the Doctor’s past rewritten on screen.

Chibnall, I suspect, overestimates the level of patience everyone else in the world has for tedious lore unfolding, and sees this as only the first half of a grand multi-series plan for reinventing the show. I suspect we will learn that RTD and Moffat were both wiser to attempt no such thing.