#anyways i dont really explain my poems but im explaining this one

[boycritter]

i have always wanted to be a rotting thing

[silhouettecrow]

365 Days of Writing Prompts: Day 194

Adjective: Eternal

Noun: Keeper

Definitions for those who need/want them:

Eternal: lasting or existing forever, or without end or beginning; (of truths, values, or questions) valid for all time, or essentially unchanging; (informal) seeming to last or persist forever, especially on account of being tedious or annoying; used to emphasise expressions of admiration, gratitude, or other feelings; used to refer to an everlasting or universal spirit, as represented by God

Keeper: a person who manages or looks after something or someone; a guard at a prison or a museum; short for zookeeper; short for gamekeeper; short for goalkeeper or wicketkeeper; a fish large enough to be kept when caught; (informal) a person or thing that is valuable and to be cherished; a plain ring worn to keep a more valuable one on the finger; a bar of soft iron placed across the poles of a horseshoe magnet to maintain its strength; a food or drink that remains in a specified condition if stored; (American football) a play in which the quarterback runs with the ball instead of handing it off or passing it

[desire-mona]

siiiigh. todd autism headcanons because im projecting.

(using they/he/she pronouns for todd in this post. will explain but also if u dont agree i dont care, tw for alcoholism. time period is vague but autism hasnt existed as a legitimate medical diagnosis for all that long, so keep it in mind i guess.)

- cannot for the life of him stand welton's blankets. so itchy, just thin enough to not warm you up enough but still make you sweat, not long enough to cover your entire body. yes im making the blanket line in their poem about actual blankets, a boy needs to vent somewhere.

- beyond terrible temperature regulation, ALWAYS just a little too hot which is made worse by her sensory issues when it comes to wet fabric. constant slight agony and it never really goes away. theyre about 5 minutes away from crying about how uncomfortable they are at all times.

- had god awful handwriting until high school, like his teachers could BARELY read his handwriting it was Bad. OOOOOH OH MY GOD THERES A TRAIN GOING BY I CAN HEAR IT HONKING this is a really ironic thing to be pointing out rn but its sooooo worth mentioning. its still honking this is fun. 🚂. anyway. her parents made her spend an entire summer fixing her handwriting bc that was like the One thing her teachers criticised. its Fine now but their motor function simply doesn't deliver in the handwriting department.

- had a VERY INTENSE special interest in aquatic life + marine biology growing up, like read every book about any ocean animal in any library intense. his parents eventually forced him to abandon it because its "not a good career focus" but he still perks up when anyone mentions fish. once talked neils ear off about the biodiversity of coral reefs for roughly 2 hours, neil took her to an aquarium for their first date. rip todd anderson you wouldve loved spongebob squarepants.

- looooves pets, namely cats, but they have Too Sweaty hands all the time so any animal fur sticks onto their hands and just feels. so awful.

- had a brief period in his 20s where he was definitely an alcoholic, started as a social drinker but got too addicted to the feeling of not having to adhere to social conventions quite as hard, especially around other drunk ppl. eventually went sober after they realised they just Cant Stand the feeling of a hangover anymore. autistic ppl r more likely to develop a dependency on alcohol if we do start drinking. just btw.

- gets a Pretty Expansive vocabulary after actually starting to pursue literature. sometimes his family lightly teases him about using big words but it confuses the hell out of him. its just a word she thought would apply best!!

- soooooo obsessed with what other ppls idea of them is, both in an anxious way and out of genuine curiosity. would never ask ppl what they think of her bc she thinks thats 1) very broad 2) seems compliment fish-y and 3) just gonna lead to "i think ur great/ nice/ whatever filler compliment." but the dream is to sit someone (neil) down and just ask him every single question possible about how he perceives him.

- asks a billion clarifying questions about anything someone asks him to do, gets anxious about how many questions he's asking, tries to just figure it out, freaks out about the possibility of getting it wrong, ends up doing the thing perfectly. weekly occurrence.

- never fully grasped the appeal of religion (most definitely grew up catholic or christian or Something) just bc she could NOT let the lack of proof go. ALSO not an atheist bc the vastness of space scares them out of it. religious beliefs r a weird topic for them.

- suppresses a good chunk of his stims in public bc One total time someone looked at him weird while he was chewing on a sweatshirt string and he was like i gotta stop NOW. eventually develops tics and has to mask THOSE in public too. dear god someone let this girl unmask. also i started ticcing while writing that bc my body does this great thing where i only tic when im reminded of the concept of ticcing. its great and totally doesnt make me think im faking them (faking for who? dunno bc it usually happens when im alone)

- DOES in fact stim around neil bc NEIL STIMS TOO!!!!!!!! joyous day when they found THAT out! gets vocal stims of random lines from whatever play neil is practicing for. YEAA ART THOU THEEEEREE was a vocal stim for a solid week and a half which made neil VERY excited (autistic neil. how i love u autistic anderperry)

- velcro is The most evil vile disgusting material to ever grace this mortal realm. he hates it more than anything ever and i mean that fully. the feeling of BOTH sides, the noise, how easily it comes apart, she hates it all.

this is the gender part

never really viewed gender and gender roles as anything to adhere to beyond the fear of punishment if they dont. finds any social convention relating to gender to be Really dumb and meaningless, bc gender isn't (scientifically) real in any capacity, so why treat it like that? for the longest time just shrugged and said "eh, i guess im a boy" bc thats what she was used to being told, and didn't feel particularly drawn to agree OR disagree. eventually realised on a late night that Wait. i dont Actually care what i am. like yeah im a Male i guess but also im just me. my brain doesnt have a gender and i basically am my brain, right? and then never really thought about it again because that's genuinely how little he cares. adhering the most to canon with that mindset, she never really tells anyone (for obvious reasons on top of the overall apathy) and just lets the he/him happen to her but. in my dream world? agender they/he/she todd anderson. and this is MY blog so those are the pronouns im using from now on. i will forever love talking abt how autistic ppl very often view gender differently than allistic ppl, will forever love talking abt how autistic ppl are more likely to be trans. autism!!!

also yes that entire paragraph is just my view of gender, change the pronouns and the todd mentions and its just me. what of it.

[moonlit-escape]

⋆⛧°. ⋆ Sasha Mystreet headcanons !!

i have a tummy ache rn from eating too much. anyway here's sasha i lobe her

half russian, half korean

demisexual (this is me projecting not just bc of her color palette i promise dont LOOK at me like that)

still pretty closed off, cold, and stoic. but, once in a blue moon, gene and zenix get her to genuinely laugh or mouth off and get angry and they absolutely relish in it

they're best friends :(

the only one of the three who can currently legally drive.

breakcore / hyperpop-punk Queen !! (crystal castles, quinn, swrslvt/cynthoni, laura les, snafu, charli xcx, xn88ax. yknow, shit i added to her playlist)

PIERCINGS!! honestly w all these headcanons, if they are/were a punk, they have piercings. she has double eyebrow piercings, a bellybutton piercing, and a tongue piercing

got deeper into and still practices witchcraft, just not potions or spells. she prefers her palm-reading, tarot, herbal mixtures and remedies, and crystal charges

im planning on making her patron saint someone from MCD that didn't get to mystreet, but first i have to actually Watch MCD.

loves scented candles and incense. she has pretty incense holders all around the house

favourite video game is luigi's mansion

always plays luigi during mario party and always loses. but it's fine bc she always wins mario kart (zenix is always princess peach and gene always plays one of the fuckin monster goons: dry bones, shy guy, goomba, one of the koopa kids)

had a crush on gene at one point, and they even tried out a relationship in uni, but then realized they were just doing the same exact things they did as friends and weren't really going anywhere, so they stayed besties

uses potion bottles as water bottles because they're just more practical

runs a vampire fanfic tumblr blog. she makes really fuckin good vampire au fanfics of really popular fandoms

has a butterfly knife and switchblade collection. they're all really pretty

zenix made her match phone charms with him, but he tells everyone she forced him (nobody believes him)

her and gene used to be skater buddies (zenix couldnt figure out how to skate for the life of him), but she's the only one who still skates around sometimes

i don't know how to explain this to anyone and it is honestly just my own delusion but oh my God did sasha have a mini crush on katelyn in high school

like it wasn't anything super. but she cannot lie to herself and say she didn't have fun during gym getting to see katelyn

typical "goth gf" reads classic literature and edgar allen poe poems and short stories. but also she has to work, so she listens to audiobooks

it's not that she doesn't feel her emotions or anything, but more-so she's just not used to expressing them, and doesn't know how to properly. and now, she feels like it's too late and would be too awkward to learn how

so, she expresses herself in other ways. like through her loud music, or her witchcraft, or through pen sketches and painting

she likes to go on walks every once in a while in completely random or strange places. yknow, ones where it feels like you shouldn't really be going. and sometimes she sketches whatever she finds there and thinks about

whenever she has a particularly.. excruciatingly stressful day, she likes to lay on the floor with her astral projector light, listen to music, and take an edible. it helps her calm down, and feel like she's in a different world for a while

it has backfired before though, because her mind went to the wrong place, and she ended up having a panic attack. so, she makes sure she only does it when both of the guys are home to check on her and ground her if she does start spiraling

Don't do drugs, kids. And if you REALLY have to try it because you're stupid, don't do it Stupidly. have a babysitter. a Trusted babysitter. and don't start with edibles. Be safe, or fuck up and die

[idealspawn]

tbh now that i think of it i kind of needed him not for himself but for myself too. so that is fucked up a bit maybe from my side too. like that i needed someone secure enough to kind of mm trust them and be truly honest and transparent and loving and giving but not because i so very much loved them and wanted to give TO THEM but to see if i can trust myself to let myself be giving. if that makes sense. to let myself try be securely attached. but not necessarily because im madly in love. but like train my vulnerability. he said he read my poem and it was nice, cheesy at times but with good parallels and metaphores. i explained one part to him more in detail too bc it was pretty open to interpretation. he said he will write it down but i dont think he will. but it also feels so cringe because he was meant to read it when he still had feelings for me. also a good um.. stepping stone for me i guess. to admit i have feelings for someone still when they dont, although im acc not too sure myself how much i was truly madly attached either. feels good to swallow my pride though. i also tend to lose feelings when ppl arent attracted to me which is good. i dont have a problem w chasing him. im attracted to ppl being attracted to me which in a way, from me, is also a bit fucked up. he also didnt become a part of my real immediate daily routine as i didnt really text w him too much. we just were together irl a lot and really present in those times. and i also made sure i didnt abandon my friends this time so i still massively have my support system w me. but it sucks a bit bc i literally talked abt him to so many of my friends but its okay like i dont owe anyone anything to last just bc i talked abt it. and shit changes. just bc i said sth true in one moment doesnt mean i has to stay true forever or that now that it isnt true anymore that it couldnt have been immensely true at one point. one thing that was pretty fucked up tho is that he told me he wanted to have sex w me just bc he was looking for certainty and answers abt his feelings from there not bc he acc felt connected to me. like i usually.. want to be intimate when i feel love not disconnect..... and now he said he didnt find it from there. but like.. we were literally both so high and it was such a bad situation. no wonder you cant feel a spark bc i was literally numb like a vegetable. he said he knows it was a bad decision but like why do you take this situation to tell you clues abt what next then. and like. the same way with all our previous hangouts when i felt sth off. like the reason it was off was bc he was off and not fully honest abt it. it felt like such a relief when he said all the words out so rawly at last and i felt i could come out of this weird anxious shell of a performance i had on w him the past few times bc of the way i felt sth was weird but i couldnt tell what it was so i couldnt fully be normal myself either. so like the last times he gave me "chances" couldnt have been proper chances to show him anything true bc it didnt feel like... normal. there was an elephant in the room that was standing right between us. but he refused to address it when i tried to. i guess i got my answer that its not that im weird that i keep getting into these awk situations but that the other person feels weird and that is the thing affecting me. im fucking normal. i cried a bit too like its not that i am not affected by it at all but i think im kind of fine. i anyway didnt see him for 2 weeks now. its just weird bc we had plans which made us be together daily for like 2 weeks straight and um. i dont know if i can do that. even if we are friends bc i dont usually do that w my friends really. its weird. but like. fuck idk.

[poppunkpie]

hii hello hiii can you tell more about your writing process? :3c what are the stages? are there any writing principles for your process? what's the most enjoyable thing? :3c

hello eldritch!! omg im so sorry for the delay in answering... lol i didn't expect work to suddenly be so busy lol but anyway!!

so there are two main ways that a fic idea comes together for me: a) it's the theme/thesis statement that comes to me first. this comes to me in a lot of different ways... it could be a line from a song or an excerpt from a poem or a similar adjacent theme i take from a different piece of media that i feel i can apply to a certain ship/character that i am brainrotting about at the moment. ex. my favorite and most recent example of this would be scaramouche x from under the cork tree by fall out boy (lol) the theme i put together there was rly just... that desperation of so badly wanting something to be completely about yourself for once (and almost narcissistically/unhealthily so) because you've never had anything at all. i just thought it's a very specific... almost manic feeling that i can definitely picture scara experiencing.

b) it's one very specific scene that comes to me, and from there, i try to fill in the blanks/puzzle pieces in the plot (with other scenes) of how everything builds up to that one scene. when i have all of that down, it becomes a little easier for me to fill in the blanks of what exactly happens/how the fic ends after that one scene.

most of the time, it's a combination of these two ways of idea-gathering for me... mostly it's the theme that comes first, but there are other times that it's the specific scenes that come first and when it's the latter, they don't really come together /thematically/ until i'm already somewhere in the middle of writing. this ideation process is what i consider most important because honestly... i really only have two stages in writing (lol) which are: ideation and then the writing itself. bc basically, the ideation is what gets the fic plot points down... and the writing is really just... me connecting those points/weaving those ideas together...

to put things more concretely, my ideation process is really just... a lot of listing things down and it is admittedly chaotic... it could be scene ideas (or a sequence of them) as simple as 'scara spots aether in the crowd' but bc im a mess it usually becomes a long bullet that also includes the unsaid implications in that said scene like so:

scara spots aether in the crowd looking back at him and he fixates on it bc it feels like for the first time, someone actually /sees/ and wants to look at him

ideas i list down could also be specific lines that i imagine a specific character saying or even a few dialogues of script between characters. there's also just lots of random stuff related to how i want to describe dynamics and characters i list down like 'heiscara friendship with lots of annoying smart banter' or 'scara is a skater in this one' or 'aether listens to taylor swift but lumine doesn't' (lol)' or 'scara is like [insert fall out boy song here]'

~ as for writing principles... ig i only rly have this in mind at the moment: balance out poetry and prose - uhh i dont think i ever write anything that doesn't end up with a motif that ties in with the theme... i like metaphors a lot bc i feel they help describe feelings more accurately... but i also try to make sure that these metaphors are just simple but clever enough?? uhh... i kinda think of writing metaphors as cracking a joke... if it's too cerebral, the punchline might not /punch/ lol but if it's too straightforward... it might not work in capturing a certain idea or feeling... as for my personal preference in my own writing... i like to phrase things bluntly while still making metaphors in that tone so its not cerebrally intimidating... err im not sure how to explain that more elaborately here lol uhh but heres one of my favorite more recent examples from something i wrote abt scara talking about ei:

She has acknowledged me in a way that she believes it's her sister who should be alive instead of me, as if I had taken the life of someone else simply by being born into the world. (I'm not a killer— or at least I wasn't born one, and as far as I know, the blood on my hands is usually my own.)

~ as for the most enjoyable thing about it... well i would say it's definitely writing metaphors lol and then making sure how that ties coherently and cleverly with the theme and the vibe of the ship dynamic/character i'm centering the fic on... i dont think i ever write without an overarching theme or a metaphor for this reason... even when i just want the characters to kiss... its corny but i always need the kiss to feel like its situated in the grander scheme of things and feelings skksks

[yuttikkele]

Also! C!george being able to see the multiverse through a lil window dreamXD made to show him

What does he see?

CC!george, sapnap and dream watching a football game (cc!george isnt really watching anyhow) (XD explains how everything is pacific and domestic here without wars or dumb monarchies and betrayals they all just live together and chill)

A swapped places AU where c!dream isnt a weirs puppet thing and is actually c!george who is that weird monster (that c!dream stares back and just stares confused until some weird god comes by and XD changes the universe quickly) ("who was that?" '...did i tell you im divorced?' "...loser." '...LOSER???!!')

....flowers from 1970... But its just a room with poems in the walls and the palms marked in them with that specific song playing ("...what happened here?" 'Some dimensions are good and have nice endings and some dont! Thats just how it is' "oh...not my problem anyway") (i alao dont know if you know abt the fanfic its pretty good but also quite old) (no good ending tho)

Manhunt

Mcc

Squid craft 2 (the part where george finds dream just dead as hell) (i dont even know if you even watched the event)

And well if you thought the cc!au was upsetting!

The window opens to the inside of the castle that is decorated with blue and white and c!george sitting in the throne and c!dream is just by the side of the throne with a knight kind of look just talking to him about his day

C!george gets upset and closes the window "this sucks youre an idiot and this is dumb" '...making that window is hard you know?' "I dont care leave me alone i have things to do" 'mean.' "I dont care"

....ALSO

Yess! Draculaura just starts assigning superheroes to her friends (most dont make sense thanks to her lack of knowledge in the topic) then she finds a comic where they did make batman a vampire and she just refuses to think that it isnt the principal story

Clawdeen hates Twilight

She wakes up and posts abt how much she hates it everyday for like 4 months until she finds a good book of werewolves to read

oh my gosh i forgot to answer this i’m so sorry 😭😭 i looked at it and was like “ok i’ll answer that later” and then forgot about it

WINDOW BEDTIME STORIES!!! George gets an au bedtime story POG

weirdthingC!george and actuallynormalC!dream is a cool little swap :000!! AND XD BEING DIVORCED BAHAHAHAHA

i think i remember flowers from 1970? probably? it’s a dnf fanfic right? i think my dreamteam friend told me she was reading it at one point

OK SO. I feel like the external videos, previous smps, and contests are still a part of the dsmp. At least most of them. Like, the characters are an extension of the CC and their YouTube/Twitch journey. The characters join the dsmp, and they come from different places, and those places are the series the CC is currently working on. Like they have a built in backstory.

For instance: Tommy, SMPEarth and Skyblock are canon for him. Philza, hardcore world and SMPEarth. Techno, Hypixel, MCM, SMPEarth, so on and so forth. BadBoyHalo, MunchyMC, videos with Skeppy, and MCM. And Dream, MunchyMC and Manhunts. MCC for all of these too. I gave a lot of examples just to show a lot of the different places they come from. There can ofc be more!

And I KNOW they said it wasn’t canon, but I think the Fundy marriage was canon too. Just to put into perspective how many of these things are considered canon for anyone who might be in doubt, everyone thought the Fundy proposal videos were canon until they said it wasn’t. Which obviously I didn’t listen to.

I will say, I do continue the “characters are an extension of their CC” thing with the QSMP (like the dsmp part of the character is canon in the qsmp), but with the QSMP, they knew they were making characters, so not all things really flow over the same, at least we don’t know if the dsmp is canon yet (some other old smps seem to be though), but I still headcanon that the island tried to wipe the characters memories and make them forget about important things they left behind so they wouldn’t want to leave the island. Thus, the character is still carried on, they probably just don’t know it.

Anyways, carrying on. I actually haven’t watched Squid Craft 2. I did not know that existed :0

And dw I was not saddened by the window. But like I did just sorta explain, George looking at the manhunt would be like George looking at his happy past. The knight thing’s totally an au tho.

“Why’d I get stuck with the janky old broke hobo Dream?” —c!George

Draculaura says that Ghoulia is the Flash, and Ghoulia is upset that Draculaura assigned her as the “off brand Dead Fast.”

and clawdeen WOULD hate twilight. I actually just started reading it, and it was going pretty well until the whole “dude makes girl uncomfortable but it’s ok because she actually secretly likes it!! Haha!!” thing. I feel like clawdeen would hate twilight mostly though because she sees herself in the main character, but the story reacts in such ways that are just unsatisfactory and not at all what actually happen to a girl like Bella, which Clawdeen experiences because she feels she is actually a girl like Bella and she HATES IT. She’s like, “That’s not how it works! Vampires might have all these super awesome powers, but that’s not what makes them likable!!” (as I haven’t read enough of twilight yet, I just have a hunch about this hc, so I will say my main basis for clawdeen relating to Bella is because she also has a crush on a vampire.)

And instead of a werewolf book, she actually finds the dog version of warriors.

[liuisi]

🧊💬☕️📚🎃🔥🎵!!! HI!!!

🧊: How do you get over writer's block?

..... wait it out? IM SORRY THATS A BAD ANSWER..... i do not have a magical fix-it unfortunately i just try my best. uhm. sometimes i write out scenes i wanna write in a super informal manner? like imagine youre explaining the scene through dms with a friend like "so x says this and then y is like WHAT and then they talk about.. etc." and while that doesnt always get me Writing necessarily it makes me feel like ive Advanced a bit at least

💬: Do you reread comments?

YES. all the time. every single comment or even compliment ive gotten on here i treasure them deeply... they remind me that im actually Doing Something not just tricking myself into thinking that im good at this LOL

☕️: What time of the day do you prefer to write?

honestly i only write when the feverish urge to overtakes me and i bang out 1k words in one sitting and that can happen Any time of day. mostly though its around 9 pm when ive studied all day and my eyes are dry. for some reason

📚: What are some of the favorite things you've learned while doing research?

uhmmmmmm. hmmmmmmm. and if i say im not a does research while writing rabbithole girlie.... what then............... maybe that means im just not adventurous enough in my writing. the most ive looked up i think is how a body would look after 3 years of being buried (if it was a proper burial apparently it should be shockingly well preserved)

🎃: Do you write for holiday (Halloween, Christmas, etc) events? If so, what's your favorite work from one of those events?

naur................ events make me feel like an animal being hunted for sport so ive sworn them off

🔥: What's a piece of writing advice you consider bad advice?

OKAY. YOU KNOW WHAT. here's the thing. once i watched a billy collins npr interview and he said some very true things about writing poetry and then things i disagree with vehemently. "I mean, if you're going to become proficient at anything, like the cello, you would take cello lessons. If you wanted to be a sculptor, you would take lessons in sculpture-making. You wouldn't just attack a piece of marble with your bare hands and a screwdriver." <- THIS IS TRUE!!!!

HOWEVER. something he said is that you cant just read "poems from a magazine" and expect to get good at writing poetry. like you need to read paradise lost you need to read the classics to get a sense of the inherent rhythms of the english language. and while i AGREE that it's good to familiarize yourself with the evolution of poetry and the history behind it and the Intent behind it. i dont think the reduction of anything that's not a classic is like. good. how do you get better at poetry???? you read poetry that you like and pick out what makes it good to you. you read poetry you DONT like and pick out what doesn't work for you!! and then you write and practice and practice and practice and THATS how you get good. i dont know. the "poems from a magazine" line bothered me SO bad. someone who's read shakespeare's sonnets will not become a better writer than someone who reads fleur adcock. anyways. peace and love on planet earth

🎵: Do you create playlists for your fics?

no ..... i fear i am boring in that regard im just really bad at it bc ill just add the songs i Like right now

[coffee---bean]

i wanna make a post about failure

hi, i didn't know what to title this

i suddenly (?) had a bunch of insecurities and fears come into me and mix around and it felt bad. this happens a lot at the end of semesters. i don't really know how to talk about it or how to process it. i can say that right now, it feels like i'm feeling it for the first time, like... i don't feel like i have any experience with this. i feel like i'm being hit with brand-new feelings.

anyway, i felt like i wanted to say something related to art and stuff. i thought about writing this yesterday and i don't remember what it was. something about the value of failure, or like, how failure is good, or something. but that sucks! i don't wanna write about that, that's stupid. cos,,,,

why can't failure just be failure!! i feel like failure is a silly word anyway. it makes things worse or something. or i dont know, it can be good to acknowledge failure. i just mean,

i guess it isn't a failure when you feel sad. i feel really sad, for some reason, and i can't explain it. i just, it's like it's coming from nowhere. or lots of small things, but when i try to explain it, i feel like explaining the small things isn't enough really, cos it's all more like a complicated swirl of stuff. it's a soup now, it's not just ingredients anymore.

--

i honestly just don't know how to be articulate about this feeling. i just sort of don't wanna do anything or exist at the moment. i don't mean that in a suicidal way. i mean it more like, i don't wanna do the thing of existing. like, the actions of existing.

i guess that's classic two tables, but i kind of... wanna resist the idea of two tables now. i don't think i connect with it anymore. like, i actually like being human. i like this squishy space and the discomfort, especially since i feel like i have people who care about me and i feel like i am going to be okay. i mean, i'm still going to die, eventually, but i think i'm a bit less afraid of dying than i was when i was younger.

i think i like the fact that two tables is kind of becoming the fake work, and the gift shop is becoming the real one. i think its cool that two tables is gonna be on a stage, it's gonna be kind of a performance. kind of stupid, kind of a rejection of that idea. i mean, i do really like the artists who do work like that, so, i don't actually want to reject that idea completely. i just wanna not do that. i really think this is the right way to make two tables, to have the idea, as a kind of album cover or something, or the title, or an opening poem,

yeah,

i think im just gonna use the tables from the hall, and remove the stair rails so its clear to look at,

yeah.

i think today im gonna work on music, since mikayla also wanted some help. but!! none of my instruments are at school, so... maybe i'll finish the receipt roll today. just something kind of simple. also i wanted to make a plan and checklist thing.

yeah!

[saetoru]

how are u so good at writing . reveal ur secrets pls . but seriously, what advice would u give ??

HAGDFKJSHDF this is so kind :( to be rly honest, i personally don't have the best relationship with my own writing (as a lot of writers in all realness) so i cant say im rly confident in any advice 😭 but idk hopefully these might help u improve at least—which is always the main goal anyway

i have some advice on writing fics here

and i have advice on writing smut here if u write nsfw

and some more below the cut:

over all i would say that reading all types of media can really help you find a voice in writing—poetry can help you make better metaphors and have a more "deep" / "meaningful" writing voice, reading novels can help you develop an ability to tell stories and build a detailed world, etc. but yeah u can read fanfic, articles, journals, poems, books, wtv u read rly can help u pick up not just ways to develop writing voices, but also you can just learn about the world u know ?? i been reading a few articles about the royal family in the news and its taught a lot about how the inner works of royalty is set up—things that u don't rly take the time to care to know, but in my head as i was reading it i was like omg if i ever wrote a royal au this would be so useful 💀 so yeah, very basic tip, but reading is always number one advice. and again, dont limit urself to one type of writing !! writing is so vast, u can pick up something from any genre of it

also have a certain position / place / set up when u write. i know it sounds kind of dumb at first like okay whats the difference between if i write at my desk vs at my couch but its big !! for me at least. i find that if i try to write anywhere else besides by desk im just more easily distracted and then it cuts my train of thought and my sentences come out choppy and then my flow is ruined. theres actually a big difference in my writing based on location. and having a playlist helps !! whether its of songs with lyrics that inspire you (such as sad songs for angst, romantic ones for something more intimate, etc.) or just plain classical music. classical music has been a game changer for me. (don't ask me for recs i couldn't name a single song or artist if u held a gun to my head LMAONSDFG i just search random spotify playlists)

as far as writing goes, i think its important to start writing when u have a vague ending in mind—you don't always have to have the middle parts figured out, but having an ending can help guide u as u write and pick up momentum and figure out more things to say what the middle part will be to get u to that ending. i almost never write anything without an ending in mind. sometimes its one line and sometimes its an idea / concept of an event that will happen. but yeah an ending can rly help u figure out how to structure a fic !!

figuring out if ur stronger in dialogue vs the commentary portion of writing (for lack of better words LMAO but yall know what i mean—i hope) can also help u !! i think im a bit more dialogue suited as a writer, so a lot of the things i wanna convey, like a character's feelings and thoughts, are shown thru dialogue more often. if u focus more on what ur good at, the other things will kind of come on their own so u can continue—like when i say something thru dialogue that needs some context, the next paragraph might be some background on the character that explains it. which is just basic writing i know skjdhfjgdf but sometimes i just write out like a full convo of dialogue nonstop and go back and actually add the "meat" in between to it afterward. and that's bc the dialogue comes easy to me u know ?? and the commentary / story building in between doesn't, so focusing on one forces me to have to incorporate the other and by then i've somewhat figured out what to write by then. << this method can also rly help u improve ur dialogue too tho if u struggle on that bc seeing a convo just non stop without any background info in between to break it can give u an idea of how it sounds and what the dynamic between two characters is.

also to help with dialogue u can have a convo with yourself out loud 😭 i know that sounds dumb and weird BUT TRUST ME IT RLY HELPS KSHDGDF SOBSOB sometimes u just gotta talk to urself to have a convo flow !! and that way u can also really hear the words and know if they're a bit cheesy or cringe (we have all wrote a cringey dialogue here and there, no shame in it LMAO) but yeah 😭 talking to urself helps

i always suggest breaking things up into scenes that build into a plot. if ur having issues connecting parts of a story, just break it up into scenes. like my shin fic, if u read it (u don't have to for the example dw) but it was like literally like this in my drafts: shin and reader in shop, shin gets upset. shin and reader at home, slight confrontation / sex. shin + waka convo. shin hospital. KJASHGEHF (this sounds so dumb out of context LMAO) but yeah if u do that and then individually write those scenes out, its rly not much different than like maybe writing a drabble, which is far more manageable. and then u can connect them, and boom u have a full length fic !! but yeah that's something that helps me since im still developing my skills to write longer works

also rly discussing characters with friends, reading up on their information, and staying open to discussions that analyze characters is rly important !! we all have our own takes of a character so its okay if they're not always aligning with urs, but sometimes they can help u rly figure out a character and what u feel is their back story and the focal point of who they are—and the more u understand a character, the more describing them and portraying them will be easier. and trust me when u rly feel like u understand a character, the words don't stop, either when ur giving them dialogue or when ur just giving extra back story / commentary.

so yeah that was a bit rambly skhsd im rly sorry about that but i hope that helps a bit !! tysm for the kind ask and it rly did mean a lot to me <3 good luck on ur writing !!

[wickedpact]

dear tumblr user crim wickedpact pls write the essay/dissertation about nicky being shakespeare's fair youth (if you have time, ofc!!)

Not To Imply Nicky Was Shakespeare’s Fair Youth But Ive Read The Fair Youth Sonnets & Nicky Was Definitely Shakespeare’s Fair Youth, an essay by me, tumblr user crim wickedpact

background knowledge: our man shakespeare wrote some 120 sonnets about a young man referred to as the Fair Youth during the mid 1590s; there has been some debate among shakespeare enthusiasts whether shakespeare’s interest in the Fair Youth was platonic or romantic (but like. they were definitely romantic). no one knows for sure who the Fair Youth was, but it was definitely nicky and my first and most important piece of evidence regarding this hypothesis is the ‘lmao babe do you remember that guy who had a crush on me?’/ ‘i try not to remember the guy who had a crush on you’ look joe and nicky exchange when Merrick brings up shakespeare during the movie. especially since gina confirmed in a tweet that joe and nicky canonly did know shakespeare

my second piece of evidence is that it just Works (except for a couple small facts like.. the Fair Youth was prolly closer to his 20s than his 30s. and the fact that shakespeare implies that the Fair Youth slept with his mistress at one point. but he doesnt know what hes talking about shhh we IGNORE)

long post under cut

A. The Description Matches

when describing the Fair Youth (who I’ll call the FY from now on), shakespeare says he has a ‘gold complexion’ and ‘beautiful eyes’ and compares him to a ‘summer’s day’. He says the FY has “A woman’s gentle heart" and “An eye more bright than [women’s are], (...) Gilding the object whereupon [they] gazeth”

As much as shakespeare’s perceptions of sexuality and gender are very........  late 1500′s (whoo boy sonnet #20 is a wild ride) ...... the description does match, and also:

  B. The Fair Youth Refused to Get Married

it’s never really said why one way or another (shakespeare assumes it’s because the FY is selfish) but the FY didn’t/wouldn’t take on a wife and have a kid, and this was something that was a real sticker for our man Willy S. because, as he says in his sonnets a million times: beauty doesn’t last forever, but having a child not only passes down the FY’s beauty, but also blesses the woman the FY would have a child with (im not saying shakespeare wanted to bear the FY’s children, but he definitely did)

Whose fresh repair if now thou not renewest, Thou dost beguile the world, unbless some mother. For where is she so fair whose uneared womb Disdains the tillage of thy husbandry?

(ie. If you don’t renew yourself/ have children, you deprive the world and deprive a woman from having your child, since what woman out there is so beautiful that she wouldn’t want to bear your child?)

Like.

1.) if nicky is the FY then so many of these poems center around the idea of nicky growing old sometime soon and that must have been pretty funny to Nicky and

2.)  the fact that shakespeare would have been So Desperate for nicky to find a wife must have been the opposite of funny to joe. considering the ease of his and nicky’s relationship and the fact that being gay in late 1500s england was probably not a walk in the park, it is very likely shakespeare wouldn’t have known they were in a committed relationship-- or at least not known how close they actually were. Thus:

  C. The Rival (aka. Joe)

shakespeare mentions having a poetic rival in regards to the FY in several sonnets. In sonnet #21 he talks about how he’s not like Those Other Writers who use grand metaphors to talk about their muses

So is it not with me as with that Muse, Stirred by a painted beauty to his verse, Who heaven itself for ornament doth use And every fair with his fair doth rehearse, Making a couplement of proud compare With sun and moon, with earth and sea's rich gems, With April's first-born flowers, and all things rare,

(ie. I’m not like other poets who, when inspired by a ‘painted beauty’ use heaven and every other beautiful thing on the planet to make a grand comparison to their muse: he specifically lists the sun and moon as examples as well as other beautiful things)

He then goes on to say

And then believe me, my love is as fair As any mother's child, though not so bright As those gold candles fixed in heaven's air:

(ie. my love [the FY] is as beautiful as any other beautiful person, though I wouldn’t compare them to the stars/heavens (which is what he means by the 'gold candles’. those are stars.))

So shakespeare insults poets who compare their subjects to the sun, moon, and stars (amongst other things) and in the comics, Joe does literally exactly that

That man is the stars in my sky, and the sun that lights my days. That man is the moon when I'm lost in darkness, and warmth when I shiver in cold.

shakespeare also goes on to say in the same sonnet “Let them say more that like of hearsay well / I will not praise that purpose not to sell” which is to say ‘let people who like that kind of language use it, I wont because I don’t want anyone else to have the subject of my affections (the FY)’.

(which is a bit of a contradiction regarding his feelings abt the FY getting married, but these sonnets are full of contradictions. shakespeare was a confused dude; man spent the first 100 or so sonnets convinced the FY loved him back only for him to start wondering if the FY ever loved him near the end)

(not to mention Marriage For Love wasnt really.. much of a thing in Ye Olden Times but thats a different conversation. so shakespeare prolly didnt associate marriage with love/competition? anyways)

Shakesy-boo goes on to complain about this rival several times. In #79, he says

Yet what of thee thy poet doth invent He robs thee of, and pays it thee again. He lends thee virtue, and he stole that word From thy behaviour; beauty doth he give, And found it in thy cheek: he can afford No praise to thee, but what in thee doth live.

(ie. everything ‘your poet’ (as the FY apparently favored this unnamed rival) says about you, he takes it from you in the first place. he talks about your virtue, but learned the word from watching your behavior. he calls you beautiful but only discovered beauty by looking at your face. every compliment he gives you he took from you in the first place)

[and, as a smaller example, he also bemoans the fact that people want to paint the FY in #67, saying, “Why should false painting imitate his cheek, / And steal dead seeming of his living hue?”. and yknow. Joe’s an artist.]

And then another example in #86

Was it the proud full sail of [the rival’s] great verse, Bound for the prize of all too precious you, That did my ripe thoughts in my brain inhearse, Making their tomb the womb wherein they grew?

Was it his spirit, by spirits taught to write Above a mortal pitch, that struck me dead?

(ie. he’s talking about how he’s having difficulty writing abt the FY and is rhetorically asking if ‘the proud sail’ of the rival’s verses was the reason his ‘ripe thoughts’ were killed in their ‘womb’. He then asks (again rhetorically) if it was the rival’s ‘spirit’ (or creativity, maybe) ‘’’‘by spirits taught to write’’’’ that killed his own drive to write. none of the analyses I’ve read really explain what shakespeare means by ‘spirits taught to write’, other than maybe being a joke or reference to something we dont know, but... ‘taught by dead people to write in a way mortal people can’t’ very much sounds like a description of an immortal poet, eh?)

Which brings me to,

  D. Willy Boy Thinks There Are 500 Year Old Writings About the Fair Youth

shakespeare talks about people having written about the FY ‘500 years ago’ from the late 1500s in #59 which......................... would have been around 1100 AD. :thinking face:

Oh that record could with a backward look, Even of five hundred courses of the sun, Show me your image in some antique book, Since mind at first in character was done, That I might see what the old world could say To this composed wonder of your frame;

(ie. Oh if I could look back 500 years and see how you were described in some old books so I could see/reference what people used to write about you)

Which again brings me to,

  E. I’m Not Saying shakespeare Stole From Joe, But:

1.) In #22, shakespeare says this,

For all that beauty that doth cover thee, Is but the seemly raiment of my heart, Which in thy breast doth live, as thine in me: 

(ie, your beauty is due to the ‘clothes’ my heart gives you-- probably means something like ‘you’re beautiful because i love you’. goes on to say his heart lives in the FY’s chest, and the FY’s heart lives in shakespeare’s chest)

so: shakespeare tells the FY he has shakespeare’s heart. in comparison, Joe calls nicky ‘my heart’ in the comics...... :thinking face x2:

2.) In #109, shakespeare tells the FY ‘thou art my all’,

For nothing this wide universe I call, Save thou, my rose, in it thou art my all.

which rings similar to Joe’s ‘he’s all and he’s more’ as well as (from the comics) ‘he is my everything’

and just saying. joe looks pretty #done the mention of shakespeare.

  F. The last One

Despite shakespeare writing 30+ poems about the FY eventually growing old, the very last poem he writes about/for the FY says,

O thou, my lovely boy, who in thy power Dost hold Time's fickle glass, his sickle hour; Who hast by waning grown, and therein showest Thy lovers withering, as thy sweet self growest. 

(ie. you [the FY] have power over the ‘mirror’ (fickle glass) of time as well as time’s ‘harvesting’ ability (sickle hour) and as you grow older, you remain beautiful while your lovers [shakespeare] wither and grow old)

The transition from ‘get married and have a baby before you get old!!!!’ in #1-20 to talking about the FY’s presence in 500 y/o books in #59 to admitting the FY isn’t growing old in #126 kinda seems to imply shakespeare learning of/about nicky’s immortality at some point, and this last poem is him accepting it.

TLDR: not only does it make perfect sense if nicky was the Fair Youth from the FY sonnets, but it also makes perfect sense if joe was the Rival from the FY sonnets. its canon nothing will convince me otherwise

[doolkat]

G5 SPOILERS AHEAD!!!

My thoughts! (cute pic added so it wont be just boring text)

So I just saw the movie.

I been waiting for this ever since it was announced. I gotta say I was skeptical about it first but now Im like 'huh I see"

General : lighthearted movie with good music.

Plot : mediogre, I wanted to know more what happend!?

Questions :like SUNNYS DAD??? he died HOW??? HOW.. WHY WERE THE placements in his house..? Why did everyone start hating each other? What happend to Twilight and her friends?

Im sure everyones ASKING these question and I feel like movie should had covered this but maybe its a work for the show.

Thoughts : I really loved the animation! outstaniding and so many refernces and little clues every where that Im not sure I picked these up. So much to notice! The FREAKING pinup calender of Hitch.. GAY... and yeH This leads me to thibk that they are adults like in their 20s? like why else would there be that kind of joke or idk. After all Sunny lives alone too and Izzy? Also Sprout literally has the man child vibes so I doubt they are really young. Late teens at max I think! THE GUARDS were so cute and funny.Dont mind if i SHIP em lol. Also Sprout lowkey gay we all know that. Their worlds were really pretty and I liked how funny sterotypes they all had of each other. The music was so good. Sprouts song is the best!! The ending makes me think SUNNYS wings and horn arent permanent. They were see threw so yeah that wont be a thing in the show so I dont think non of us need to scream about that. Really have so much questions and movie answered so little that it makes me think what did the movie told us? I did really enjoy it but did it explain enough about their current world to us? No absolutely not!

Unicorn/Pegasi/Earth pony:

Another intresting thing to note is how unicorns who use to be higher class ones in g4 are now primitive nations. They live in woods and didnt seem to have any tehnology ? They seem to be like this "hipster" society that lives in woods and collect crysthals and read poems. Anything to just get their time off. Earth ponies have a powerful propaganda going on. A very dictatorship kind of way of thinking. They all work as a little town society like all the tribes but earth ponies propaganda to hate and be scared of unicorns and Pegasi seems much stronger. Their society seems to me like a little town community kind of. They have some technology- doesnt seem to have smartphones but they have movies and other things. Pegasi seems to be most obssed with tehnology and celerbtiy and gossip media. Much like canterlot use to be with lots celebrities and higher class ponies. I guess they just needed soemtjing cuz they lost their abilty to fly so they all came obssed with royal family and celebrities and gossip culture. What im saying each tribe had their own way of coping with things. To unicorns this seemed to be the most hurtful because they had no "fake" hope like the Pegasi had who thought royal family only could fly.

Characthers: Im gonna get hate for this but I really liked Sprout? like I know he is man baby but I thought the dictator ship kind ruling was pretty funny and well he just wanted to make his mom proud. I liked that his mom wasnt insane either? like she saw that the power was getting to his head. Speaking of moms Queen Haven is icon. I like her. She just likes glamour and camera. Nothing wrong with that. I LAUGHED WHEN I SAW THAT THEY HAD GOLDEN JAIL. Pegasi are clearly very wealthy. Zipp to me in this movie was the weakest characther? she barely had any moments of her own. Pipp had more mean energry than i thought like I thought she was gonna be literally like OMG SLAAAY QUEEN YASSS all the time but she gladly wasnt. Im looking forward more to see both of the sisters and their differnces. Kinda reminds me of me and my sister tbh one is all about fashion and expensive things in life and I am well.. I like more earthy things. So im lookin forward seeing those two interact the most.Hitch was pretty cool. He is like mix of applejack and fluttershy. I like him, not bad at all but very charming and clearly adored in town. Ok now the best SUNNY AND IZZY!! they are kinda... fruity hehzhejdjej I MEAN NOT STRAIGHT but also I love how I could see them as literally soulmates in friend way.. the latern thing.. that was so sniff.. I CRIED OK.. SHRED SINGLE TEAR. anywayd Im glad Izzy isnt RANDOM XD RAWR kinda pony I thought shed be. Will see how they are treated later. SUNNY is just precious also SOCIALIST AF.. bruh zjejs idk how I feel about that like she has that vibe love and tolerance to all but it could go so wrong. But Im glad she didnt loose optimism fully in end! She is previous.

The plot is how it is so ILL give this movie solid 8/10. Enjoyable!

Anyways in general I think the movie was good! Go watch it. if not for anything else then the visuals and songs are really good!

[ghostpajamas]

For the ask game!!

21. Art styles nothing like your own but you like anyways

25. Something your art has been compared to that you were NOT inspired by

omg way too many to count like, i study art styles soo much bc i love other art styles, ive fallen off a bit though now that im happier with my style though. still a big fan of learning other peoples processes though, so this is HARD !!! bc most styles i like, i adopt in some form !!! some people are really difficult to emulate or i dont take the time to dissect their style and just go ooo ahhh at it. like ahhh manuhamu, sohjoa, worthikids. yaaa EASY. one time someone compared the vibe of my art to terrifyer by ajj. i, a massive ajj fan, took this as a HUGE compliment + i had never heard terrifyer so that was cool . very special moment to me. not what i was inspired by but a very welcome comparision :D but other than that like, people liken my poems to song lyrics and like, published poems a lot. which is cool but im just tossing words out here and seeing what sticks LOL im bad at explaining my feelings on stuff without metaphors

[tillman]

what tristan and isolde texts would you recommend? i wanna read more of them but idk where to start

omg ya! i have scans of all of these either done by me or rey so ill link em all BUT..

i think for over all story the best Full Telling of it is gottfried von strassburgs Tristan. yes i am a gottfried stan but GENUINELY this is up there with my favorite books of all time let alone medieval texts. its gorgeous. its beautiful. its fucking ufnny as hell (gottfried the king of sarcasm). just . read it. i implore everyone to read it. 

theres a verse translation online but i would recomend against it cus its kinda ugly (no OFFENSE i just dont think the german verse can be translated into english at all. it doesnt hit.) but its easy to find. the Prose translation is what i recomend and what i scanned myself. 

other really fun ones that are all short and super easy to get into!

Tristan als Mönch 

a short but so funny story of tristan faking his death and dressing up as a monk to check if isolde still likes him. its so fucking funny. literally so fucking funny tristan laughs at everyone morning him at his funeral. 

Tristan le Menestrel 

this is a short little thing included in one of the Perceval continuations of tristan dressing up as a minstrel with some friends including gawain lancelot and aggravain all so he can make out iwth isolde. do u see a theme here? anyways i love this one its short and cute and tristan and isolde sing together :-) 

Tristan Rossignol 

Heres one thats less comedy but its a short love poem of tristan and isolde having a sweet little tryst in the woods and isolde punching someone so hard his teeth fly out. theres also a little thing about unfaithful husbands being bad. its very odd but the poem is so SO gorgeous. its also only 5 pages its the shortest one here and one of my favorites.

and here it is. my favorite version of the prose tristran.

The Byelorussian Tristan/The Povest ‘o Trystchane

im obsessed with this tale. Its a byelorussian translation of tavola ritonda which is the italian translation of the prose tristan both of which i have on hand but both of which dont MATTER compared to THIS BAD BOY. its so good. i cant explain it. shit just happens.

i hope this helps <3 i also have the norse tales and some random old french and old italian poems that are great but these are my favorites <3 oh and . well. go read chevrefoil as well im not even bothering to list that one if u havent read that one ur missing out so so bad <3 

[cunningambitousdetermined]

i need a plot for this

yall so ive been trying really hard to get back into writing and i went to a writing camp this summer. im going to post a poem that i wrote there later bc im super proud of it but right now i have something else i need help with. SO basically there was a prompt about someone finding a letter or a note. that’s the prompt. so i wrote something, really liked it BUT I HAVE NO IDEA WHERE TO TAKE IT FROM HERE. my basic ideas involve the two characters meeting each other again to do SOMETHING WHICH I DONT KNOW and slowly arcane (youll see when you read the story below) thaws and falls in love with kalon and kalon has always been in love with her and its like best friends to enemies to friends to lovers ya know? ANYWAY if you dont hate me for being inactive and needy, please read this and help me. 

Dear Arcane,

It’s been a while, hasn’t it? 10 years. Wow. I don’t even know if you’ll ever get this, you could’ve moved. You could be dead. Oh god, that’s dark. You’re not dead, someone would’ve told me, I’m sure. So that must mean that there’s a good chance you have this, but I’m not even sure if you’ll read it.

He was right, as he most often was. Arcane had not planned to read the letter from the moment she read her name on the envelope, written in a neat sort of messy handwriting that could only come from one person. The letter had been sitting at her desk for a week before memories began to drown her and she knew she had to open it.

That’s not the point though, I’m sure you’ll read this. You’ve always been a sucker for the intimacy of written letters. Maybe that’s why I wrote to you instead of calling.

Arcane closed her eyes, the pounding of the memories at the door slowly consuming her. She took a deep breath and let them in. The whispers started to fill the room, every word echoing off the walls, like her past had become a living, breathing thing in her room. How could he write her now? After all these years. Anger reared it's small head in the back of her mind. How could he be so casual as if he wasn't the boy who ripped her heart out and tore it to pieces. 

Maybe it’s because I did read all the letters you wrote to me. Even after the voicemails stopped filling my phone and the emails ran dry, your letters kept coming.

She remembers writing those letters, the pen shaking in her hand as it hit the paper. She remembers wondering what you said to someone like him, a friend who left you behind. The squeeze in her chest that tightened each time he didn’t reply. The break in her heart when the last letter she ever wrote was returned to her doorstep.

If you’ve read this far without tearing my letter to pieces, then I would say this is a good start to our reunion. I’ve missed you. Your stubborn ways, always trying to keep me safe. But you always came with me wherever I went anyway. I miss your secret smile, the one you saved just for me. The treehouse we built in your yard. Do you miss that? I wonder if you wonder about me. I wonder if I can even ask that of you.

She did miss them. But, those things that she missed were long gone. The treehouse was overgrown with vines, Arcane was sure you couldn’t even get into it anymore. She went with him on his stupid adventures because what would she do if he left and met new people? He would leave her and she would be alone. So she desperately followed him blindly, hoping it would keep him close. Arcane missed her secret smile, the genuine one she had always saved for him. He missed it. How could he miss something that he destroyed. With his one and only letter to her, he demolished any leftover love for him that hid in her heart. He couldn’t ask if Arcane wondered about him. That wasn’t fair. That night, ten years ago, was still a raw wound in her soul that she was pretty sure would never heal.

~

The rain was relentless that night, banging against every edge of the house, but a little girl was waiting by the door, not even flinching as the lightning and thunder clapped furiously. Arcane peeked her head above the window frame to find the mailman running through the storm, his frantic steps pounding through the floor of the house. Her eyes lit up with a hope that was slowly fading with each mail drop. She opened the door and hid the small smile that started to spread up her face with a cough.

“Hi, Dan!” Arcane’s voice gave away the excitement that was flooding her system.

“Hey, Arcane.” Dan couldn’t help the pitiful grin that he gave her. She waited by the door for him every day and each day there was no letter for her. It must be soul-crushing, he thought, waiting for a letter that never comes.

“Is there…?” Arcane was practically on her tiptoes at this point. Dan rifled through the letters, dread settling as her name wasn’t there. Again. And then there was a squeal. “Oh, Dan! I found it! I knew- I knew it- I told them!” Her sentences didn’t even come out fully as she beamed, her smile brighter than any ray of the sun.

Arcane had run into the house, a breeze following in her wake. Plopping down into the soft plush couch, she ripped open the envelope, not caring about the paper that flew everywhere in the room. A paper fluttered out, floating toward the ground. Arcane grabbed it, hands shaking, she could practically feel the sweat dripping down her face. Words were the easiest way to break someone. The letter only contained eleven words, yet they would stick with her for the rest of her life.

Stop writing me. None of it was real. You were nothing.

Eleven words. And they shattered her. Crumbling, shattering, a million pieces breaking. Sobs racked through her whole body, her chest shaking and trembling with each broken breath. She caught her face in the mirror hanging off the pale wall and didn’t recognize the girl that stared back. You were nothing. A scream tore through her, the ache of her heart so raw that even the sun seemed to cry, rain dripping onto the panes of the windows. And slowly, so very slowly, Arcane buried the ache and gathered the shattered pieces of her heart and encased them in an impenetrable cage, never to opened again.

~

The ache was still present now, ten years after the letter had arrived. The dullness of her buried hurt made her clench her fists around the letter that sat in her hand now, the same lopsided handwriting adorning it.

But, that’s not why I’m writing this letter. I’m writing this with an actual purpose, if you can imagine that. I didn't just write to rehash our friendship. 

Arcane could feel her eyes narrowing, fighting the urge to roll her eyes at the inanimate piece of paper. An actual purpose? To break her heart all over again? This time she did roll her eyes, even though no one was there to see it. But, it wasn’t the fact that he wrote her after all these years or that his tone was friendly throughout that made her body freeze. It was the last line that had the hairs on the back of her neck standing to attention.

In all the years that Arcane had known him, he'd never been very dependent. He often just struggled in silence and figured them out on his own. Not once, not ever, had has asked for help. But, there the sentence was inked in his slanted, loopy writing. 

I need your help.

Love,

Kalon

  ~~everything below here is stuff that doesnt have to be a part of the story but i still liked it and where it was going (idk please give me ideas)~~

The quiet, shock of the room seemed to weigh on Arcane. She flopped back onto her bed, the soft pillows cushioning her landing. I need your help. Those few, simple words, tugged at the strings that bound her heart. He needed her. The thought was fleeting as just as quickly as it came, it left. In its spot was anger. Now he needed her? After all those years when she needed him? What did he do then? Nothing. And that’s what she was going to do now. She huffed in satisfaction, tossing the envelope to the side. Her fingers reached into her hair, massaging her head. There were too many things to think about right now. Arcane squeezed her eyes shut as memories stung her eyes in the form of tears. 

~

“Please, don’t leave me.” Arcane had whispered, her small breaths filling the one room of the treehouse. 

“I don’t have a choice. You know I don’t want to go.” Kalon’s voice broke and he looked away so Arcane couldn’t see the tears in his eyes. It was silent. 

“We’ll still be best friends right?” 

“Yeah.” Kalon’s reply didn’t hold much conviction, causing Arcane to look over at him, confused, glossy eyes narrowing. 

“To the moon and back, Kal, remember?” She said, her tone desperate. It was a promise they made one night as they were watching some cheesy movie on the old television set. The boy had told the girl that he loved her too ‘the moon and back’. Kalon had then explained that the two characters said that so that they would never be apart. They could meet at the same moon, always and then they could go back. And then, they would never be fully apart. Arcane had liked that. So naturally,  she had grabbed Kal’s face and made him promise that they would go ‘to the moon and back’ if they were ever apart. It became a goodbye for them, a way of saying ‘I’ll see you soon’. 

“Yeah,” Kal had replied, a smile barely curling through his lips, “I’ll race ya there.”

~

She wasn’t sure how long she lay there, letting her memories flow down her cheeks and into the bedsheets, but eventually she had to get up. She pulled herself up and off the bed, limbs protesting at the use. She just needed a few days is all, then she wouldn’t even remember what she was crying for.  Kalon didn’t mean anything to her anymore.

thank you for reading this far, i love all of you. just throw out ideas please. or give me some advice, i would love that. whether its about my writing or the plot i would love to have tips and constructive criticism on how to get better! tagging some moots who i hope dont hate me after this below the cut:

@natashxromanovf @pad-foots @griffxnnage @voidmalfoy @flxss-bxbblxs @alwaysreading @herondalesunsetcurve THANKS YALL I LOVE YOU MORE THEN I EXPRESS AND I DO NOT, I REPEAT, DO NOT DESERVE ALL OF YOU AND YOUR LOVE

[redemptionofthefallen]

Author Asks: 1, 13, 29

Hello! Hello! thank you so much for the asks dearie!! -also i noticed you followed me too~ thank you so much for that and you will get one back after i finish this ask XD-

so here we go!

Where do you typically get your ideas?

honestly it depends on what i am writing; an original piece, fanfiction, poem, headcannon, etc. and how i get ideas from set things can vary.

like for original pieces they can come from a dream, topic idea -like thinking one day "i really want to write a band story or a zombie apocalypse story-, or even an Original Character was building themselves in my brain one day and as im developing them a story is born from their creation.

poems usually have EVERYTHING to do with how i feel about something. RAW emotion is what fuels my poem to come about.

fanfiction and headcannons usually come from a stand point of "what would happen if i was in the anime/show, and how would that go" i have a shit ton of those that will never come to light because in my head they either "dont work" or "dont have enough passion or drive to write it out". however other ways fanfictions come about is with "what if" statements...

like "what if i died...how would this character act?" or "if we were modern instead of cannon would things have worked out differently?" this works for headcannons as well.

Also for headcannons sometimes i'll see something and go "i can see ____ character doing the same thing or something similar"

13. What grammar tends to cause problems when you’re writing?

umm....can ALL OF THEM be an answer DX Grammar and i are NOT best friends i wouldn't even call us acquaintances or frenemies DX

grammar is the bane of my existence and always will be. it causes so much anxiety and tedious DX so in all honesty? all of it. there's not one specific i can think of that gives me the most trouble when all of it does DX

29. How do you plot your stories?

im so sorry....

i NEED a minute...

from laughing my ass off at the question XD

PLOT!? WHATS THAT!? XD

im sorry let me explain...

you see....i "wing it" almost every time. i used to plot things all the time, however i have found when i plotted out things like every scene down to the letter...i lose drive for it real quick. like any story ive done that with in the past i havent written on in years because i just have no drive to complete them. so then it hit me one day that i need to go about this differently.

i'll get a basic idea and then go from there.

also i have had my OC's derail me from "plot" SO many times its not even funny so honestly its just easier and less stress inducing to "wing it" when i write things. it comes out better, it's easier for me, and im more proud of it as a result cause i get to say "i just winged it" to someone when they say its great. gives me an ego boost -that i dont have XD- to keep going.

also to be honest most of the time my OC's are driving the story anyway i have noticed so i usually just tell my OC's the basic idea then based on who they are and their goals will take the wheel and drive the story. somehow to me...the story is more compelling to write that way XD keeps me guessing and excited to see what my OC will do next ^_^

thank you so much for the ask @cecesxwickedxocs and hope your having a great day! XD