#anyways i didn't go back to bed
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i think you guys are onto smth..
i unironically got invested in this HELP
#WHERES THE FIC AT IF SOMEONE WRITES THIS I WILL PAY THEM A HUNDRED DOLLARS😭😭#kunikida serving the country while dazai's serving cunt😔#dazai was born to malewife but forced to manipulate and i think that's the greatest tragedy of bsd#anyway some facts i would like to share abt this au thay i came up w while drawing!!#takes place in 1939 (start of wwii) and there was a mandatory draft that required one male over eighteen from each house to serve#both of them are still twenty two and had been engaged for abt two years before getting married that year#newlyweds! unfortunately kuni had to go fight and they were seperated :(#before the war kunikida was a math teacher at the local high school and dazai obviously managed the household and didn't work#he's hopeless at cooking and meal prep even w recipie books so they either get those prepackaged meals or kuni makes dinner when he gets ba#so like when he's making lunch for kunikida he normally just packs a basic sandwich w raw fruit#kunikida always appreciates the effort even tho hes probably sick of having the same thing everyday but he won't complain abt it#when kunikida joined the army he was relieved that the mess hall had better food than dazai#he was the only one in his platoon that never complained abt the food so his fellow soldiers assumed it was bc he came from a tough bg#when in reality he was just used to being poisoned on a daily basis from his dumbass husbands cooking and was hardly fazed from army ration#they write to each other although its more dazai sending and kuni receiving bc hes off fighting and doesnt have time to write back#dazai talks abt life on the homefront and how he has to grow a victory garden (everything is DYING HE CANT EVEN RAISE TOMATOES)#and kuni writes abt his fellow soldiers and how the war is going and when he thinks he'll be home and how he misses sleeping in a bed#ANYWAY yea thought i'd share sry for infodumping in the tags again#this post is for like the four ppl that care abt this specific flavor of knkdz so hopefully this gets four notes at least#bungou stray dogs#bungo stray dogs#dazai osamu#osamu dazai#kunikida doppo#doppo kunikida#kunikidazai#knkdz#lotus draws#bro sry for posting at two in the morning i couldnt sleep until i got this out of my head they have infested my brain
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Steddie x female!reader thought 18+ only
Eddie blinks his eyes a couple of times to make sure he is actually seeing what he is seeing. He must be living in a nightmare.
You're laying back on one of the pool loungers. One leg dangling over the edge keeping your foot on the warm cement ground, the other spread over Steve's lap as he absently rubs his hand up and down it while he bitches to you about something from work. Your hand rubs up and down Steve's back in comfort. But that isn't the nightmare.
Your bright red bikini bottoms covering enough, but with your legs spread a bit more skin is shown then intended. Spread in such a way that makes Eddie want to just dive in. Get on his knees and worship you, rub his face over your mound as he licks and nips and sucks. Moan as the curly thatch of hair brushes against his face.
Except the curls of hair he is expecting to see peeking around your bikini are gone. Just smooth bare skin. And that isn't the only nightmare. Steve's chest is smooth like when he was in school on the swim team. Not a speck of that beautiful chest hair Eddie would curl into after getting hot and heavy. Not a single curl of the "love rug" he jokingly called it.
Eddie wants to weep. To throw himself down like a little kid and thrash his arms and legs around. Yeah, it's your body and you can do what you want, but he still is sad its gone. Eddie doesn't like change, and suddenly walking in to see both of his partners change something without any warning? Uncomfortable. It makes Eddie feel itchy.
Eddie can barely speak as he walks over and sits next to Steve. He doesn't respond to Steve's warm greeting. Doesn't respond to you asking how the day is. Just stares with big wet eyes at the sight in front of him. A pout on his lips.
A warm hand lands on his shoulder, gently squeezing. Steve's brow furrowed in concern, your wide eyes blinking at him.
"Shaved?" Eddie asks in a quiet voice, eyes darting to Steve's chest and then your clothed pussy. Steve lets out a huff of laughter, "Fuck, thought something was wrong man." Eddie glares," It is."
#Robin wanted to try waxing her legs but was scared it would hurt so Steve was the test subject#Steve then didn't like the random bald spot so he got rid of the rest#The leftover wax you were like huh wonder what that feels like and maybe the tequila didn't help#Well it did cause you were out of it#Eddie is sitting there with the biggest wettest eyes whimpering and shaking like a chihuahua#Just absolutely pathetic and sad#Of course getting kissed makes him feel a BIT better but he's still upset (also why wasn't HE invited to this event huh maybe HE would have#Liked to be the one to inflict pain- no he has to stop he needs to be SAD not HORN-)#Eddie isn't going to deny you making it up to him though...getting to just lay back and get some smooches?#Maybe just don't spring sudden change on him again#Or maybe do as long as Steve and you come kiss him like this and take care of him like this#He's boneless and melting into the bed and how did he get inside his brain is gone#Anyways I was given wax and did one strip on my leg and chickened out#So that's what created this thanks ok#Maybe I'll write a full fic idk#Jade is Talking#Steddie x reader#Steve Harrington x reader x Eddie Munson#Steve Harrington x Eddie Munson x Reader#Female!reader#Steddie x Female!reader#Steddie/female!reader#Steddie/reader
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Damian + Jon: [playing Minecraft]
Dami: I've secured us some suitable living conditions. We will be safe from enemies now.
Jon: nice oneeeee now help me mine for iron plz you need armor so bad noob
Dami: don't call me that. I've killed people in real life.
Jon: ya ok noob
Dami: 😡😡
(some time later, when they return to the house) (to paint the scene: it is small, square in shape, and it's obvious Damian had no idea how to build a proper house, since a lot of it is made with dirt, which is a very convenient block but makes for an ugly.. ugly build)
Jon: aren't you like.. into art? Why did you build it with dirt??
Dami: it's about functionality right now, for safety. Tomorrow I will begin renovations. Obviously.
Jon: right..
[they enter the house. There is a chest, a crafting table, a furnace, and a double-bed at the side of the room]
Jon: omg... you put our beds together?? Omg I knew you loved me 😭😭😭😭 woooow 😭😭😭😭
Damian: [immediately breaks one of the beds to move it away to the other wall] now you've made it weird. It was for convenience.
#Hey it's me back at it again with the 4am post#they're rattling around inside my brains#in my heart the timey wimey bs never happens and they're 10 forever and being funny#me when I bring coal home to my friends at the server and place it in all the furnaces so nobody#has to go hungry or glassless#bc windows are a RIGHT in my MC society#i love mc but I played it so long ago and now it's so different and scary#so many things... daunting#anyway I wrote this last night mid-breakdown at 4am but got self conscious and didn't post it HAHAHAHA#anyway I'll release it now#he didn't mind sharing a bed with bestie UNTIL bestie made it weird#damijon#i need to cure my mental health but how can I when they're rattling around in there?#jondami#jon kent#damian wayne
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Father Mulcahy being a spin the bottle champion is something that's so important to me actually.
#He def got drunk and somehow convinced everyone else at the 4077th to play and then rigged it so he could kiss Hawkeye#Except everyone else kept leaving the game until he and Hawk were the only two playing but Francis was so drunk that he didn't notice#But it didn't really matter bc Hawk was the only one he wanted to kiss anyway#Hawk can take his alcohol way better though and he actually cares about Mulcahy so he probs told him no and just put him to bed#Maybe in the Swamp so he could keep and eye on him#Or maybe he took Francis back to his own tent but Francis just grabbed onto him and wouldn't let go and then immediately fell asleep so#Hawk couldn't escape#Which could go one of several ways in the morning#Depending on things like whether Hawk managed to extract himself or not and how much Mulchay remembers#I'd like to think it ended happily for them though#I'm def thinking too much into this but he just sounded so proud of his spin the bottle skills and it was adorable#I love him#Father Mulcahy#MASH#S10E11: Follies of the Living Concerns of the Dead#This is all Alan Alda's fault how dare he write and direct things (which inevitably all make me go insane)#Hawkahy
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post race • são paulo gp 2024
#lando norris#brazilian gp 2024#sorry these turned out so yellow i didn't notice until halfway through#also sorry abt small text. lmao this is a mess. just like this weekend!!!!#and i'm not really in the mood to fix them#making them was cathartic like processing emotions. but anyway#im going back to bed
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we sang in the aeroplane over the sea tgth ☆
#27% circle line with a lovely friend of mine rail tracks screeching etc etc u know the usual. im just gonna write down memories#a few weeks ago my friend read thus spoke zarathustra by the fire to the music she was dancing it was her silhouette#against the flashlight lit up gold and royal blues and tiger's silk i tried not to fall in love with her. in bordeaux we searched#for pomegranates he sent her 300 quid by the beach she cut it open with a knife her hand covered in red we each had a taste of her work#sweet red wet the sweetest grit. too barely clothed to go into the cliffside church they painted my eyes we painted hers#8 shots of gin she screamed joyfully IT'S ALIVE! at the book she said become the child i said i feel like a monster she said i was insane#i tried to believe her. fortified wine and later a red pen crossword defiled by humidity her hair in my hands two king sized beds#pushed next to each other she took her top off she told us to watch her arms raised up the musculature on her back was precise cut from#marble we saw oceans we saw the birds take cold baths the midnight sun over a wasp-infested pool our chemicals in their bodies#gold flakes dark skin gold cross shoulders against mine drawing some form of each other on the train i didn't hesitate#to say her eyes were beautiful over and over monks at the soapshop with titanium credit cards i loved you like i loved no other#he tied his hair up and walked us into the river he held a bullet between his lips i never held his hand he said what an honour#you own too much capital your mother thinks i'm a natural i realised i haven't told my mother i loved her in years she's always been mother#never mom i'll watch you watch seaweeds this is terminal akrasia i'll feel your fingers smear perfume on my lips your girlfriend grins#bite into the straw take the shot hold my hand get it all wrong draw in the sand kiss him right stab through leather shower in chlorine#you're the determinable vicissitude is all yours we won the Game AND the Battle AND the War i'm proud of you like crazy we feed each other#saffron cliffside lovers well-fallen brothers fat cats blue windows southwest sun ALife SynBio design aXAA grow us a city in silico#we've grown to the ends of glee fire-jumper ocean-eater sure-footed lists on lists hands on eyelids не устану искать тебя#...anyway ive put my face on this blog b4 but hiii again#feel free to rb btw the rants r not personal
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some postgame doodles for pride month
#martzipan#komahina#hajime hinata#nagito komaeda#domestic kmhn likers pspspsps cmere#i never draw just fluff/domestic things bc i get too in my feelings lmao. this one was no exception#i had to take a break midway through bc i got sappy. IT'S OK THO we got it done :3#neways these tie into some headcanons of mine so i'm gonna share 'em here#mainly i hc them having little ways where they just look out for each other#komaeda is usually the only one who can convince hinata to take a goddamn break without having to forcefully drag him away from his work#bc hinata does NOT take enough breaks. and he does not listen to reason#until there is a komaeda who is tired and can't go to sleep without his human teddy bear :((( can't let him go to bed aloneeee#n i think hinata just. casually feeds komaeda ALL the time#bc he won't eat enough on his own. and if you offer him food he'll be inclined to see it as a nicety and try to reject it#but if you just. Put Food In Front Of His Mouth. he'll eat it#it's kind of a reflex like komaeda doesn't realize he's being fed most of the time#they take care of each other bc they won't take care of themselves otherwise lmao. it's a little dysfunctional but they're trying#i think once they've recovered enough to be able to just enjoy each other's company they get REALLY really giggly#they have a lot of teenage/young adult love stuff to catch up on and since they didn't really have a puppy love phase. they laugh a lot#they'll try to do something tender or sweet but then one of them will start to laugh. and then it's not long before the other breaks#komaeda usually breaks first. bc he's always in awe of just how happy he is. bc he never thought he COULD be this happy#not without hell looming just over the horizon anyways#when hinata breaks first it's bc he's thinking of how much they've both been through and put each other through#and he's just sort of like 'how the fuck did we end up here'#(btw komaeda snorts when he's trying not to laugh. this is just fact trust me)#OH AND I HAVE MANY HEADCANONS ABT THEIR SLEEP STUFFS#as stated hinata runs hot and komaeda runs cold. but ALSO#hinata's a sprawler. komaeda gets Clingy. it works out for them tho#if komaeda doesn't have hinata to hold like a body pillow he'll curl into the tightest little ball. it gives him back pain lmao#oh and yes. they absolutely wake up with their legs incredibly tangled together
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me at any song about being left alone: this is about lance during blade era
#like ... sad to breathe by japanese house?#any fans?#a love that didn't last do i chase the train you're riding on or sit back and wait as it goes past? cause you're right and im trying#to change myself but it's tiring and i go to bed and im crying cause it's sad to breathe the air when you're not there#:(#anyway i have the illness again#(caring about klance)#colleen thoughts
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evening routines
#posting this in broad daylight at 7:30pm because i am very impatient lmao#i'll be going to bed in like 2h anyway. close enough#warrior of light#Ardbert#fanart#speedpaint#i draw sometimes#Final Fantasy XIV#i stated out with every intention of a little memery in the shape of that post w two characters cuddling. you know the one#but uh. took like 3 steps back from that and lost the plot#i'll get to it. but also if i look at that post too hard i get the itch to do a more proper study of in bed by henri de toulouse-lautrec#i think it would be fun with oil pastel brushies......#partial nudity#pretend i didn't forget
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You may have already mentioned this in some of your other metas, and I just missed it, so please ignore this if it's redundant.
Do you think Bruce is projecting onto Jason by pushing him as a Robin? Obviously, Jason wanted to be Robin and was excited about it, and Bruce let Jason do other things, but (if I'm not mistaken) before Tim came into play, solidifying the whole Batman needs a Robin/support to keep him upright, Bruce and Dick becoming Batman and Robin, in the beginning, was also sort of a coping mechanism.
I think there are a few examples of Bruce enabling this kind of mindset. Like in Gotham Knights #43–44 (sorry), every time Barbara brings up Jason's inner turmoil, Bruce refocuses on his ability as a Robin; similarly, when Jason finds out about Two-Face and his dad, he is hurt, and Bruce acknowledges that but then does the same thing, zeroing in on reassuring Jason that he made a mistake but is still a good Robin.
Like, Jason got it from Bruce, but he unintentionally encouraged that kind of thinking.
oh, i definitely think that bruce is projecting on jason and that it profoundly affected jay. and, while every single one of your observations is apt, i would add that what truly made it so tragic is that he projected his own worst traits on jason while being blind to the fact that jay already shared his best qualities.
tldr: bruce projects himself on jason in terms of grief (saying that jason needs vigilantism to work his grief through) and sees his own worst traits in jason (anger) but doesn't see his own best traits in jay (compassion, love, and sensitivity). ironically, jason does end up developing all of the (projected) worst characteristics of bruce (obsessiveness, and relentlessness in pursuit of the respective perceived idea of justice). this happens even though they were barely present in his early storylines, and only ever manifested when jason was scared or lost. later, they truly came to be because of his trauma relating to vigilantism.
and the long, long version, coming with panels and quotes: under the cut.
first i want to say that the following analysis focuses very specifically on bruce's mistakes, but i don't view the overall of jay's upbringing by bruce solely in these terms. from text it is also clear that bruce deeply loves and cares about jay, and that jay enjoys being robin. now that this is clear, let's get to particularities, and start with jay's origin story.
i truly never stop thinking about the significance of bruce meeting jay in the crime alley, the place of his parents' death. there's a lot to be said about it, but here the focus is, of course, on the fact that he sees a little boy, very much similar to himself, angry and hurt, in the same scenery that brought him so much grief. and jay in some ways does appear to be a mirror of bruce's own agonies, as well as a mirror of his own inclination for seeking justice; and somehow, bruce fixates on the first one, while almost completely dismissing the latter.
bruce looks at him and assumes that the remedy to jason's pain and anger is being robin; and he doesn't stop to think about it. (it has to be noted that there's also classism at play, classism that is mostly a result of writers' own beliefs – collins did state in a couple of interviews that that the motivation behind jason's background was to make his introduction into vigilantism seem less offensive, as jason has already been exposed to crime...)
i think, in this context, it's interesting to look at the two-face storyline even closer, and from the start too. in the beginning, bruce talks of jason's 'street' roots and assumes jay would go "down the same criminal road that took his father [willis] to an early death." he also talks of jason making a lot of progress. later, in batman #411, after jason learns that willis has been killed by two-face, bruce comments that jay "has never been like this...listless...almost pouting--"
this all, along with jay's cheerful and diligent behaviour from the previous issue builds an interesting picture for us: because we essentially learn that jay has been overall an unproblematic child. bruce, of course, attributes this "progress" to the training. however, for anyone else, the logical conclusion would be that jay's quick adjustment was simply a matter of finding himself in a safe and stable environment and receiving continuous support and attention from a parental figure. i find it rather questionable that jason's personality softened down because he had something to punch in the cave–– the more intuitive explanation is of course that he was angry and quick to fight when they first met because he couldn't afford anything else and because he was scared. but months later, in a loving home, he can allow himself to drop his guard; and his cocky attitude disappears until much later.
so the rather unsettling picture that we derive is that bruce is training jay to become a vigilante in order to "channel" his (nonvisible at this point) anger into something useful and just. and he clearly links this to his own trauma in batman #416 (that’s already starlin btw), in his conversation with dick, explaining why he took jay in: “he’s so full of anger and frustration… he reminds me of myself, just after my parents were killed.” bruce also mentions that soon after their first meeting, jason helped him and "handled himself well" in the fight, but he doesn't mention that jay has ran away from a crime "school" and intended to stop injustice on his own only because he was ignored.
the theme of bruce comparing jay to himself appears again in detective comics #574 (barr), where it is approached with a much more... critical look, thanks to leslie's presence and her skepticism of bruce's actions. after jason has suffered nearly fatal injuries at the hand of the mad hatter, bruce reminisces on his own trauma and motives. he tells leslie: "i didn't choose jason for my work. he was chosen by it...as i was chosen." leslie replies: "stop that! (...) you do this for yourself... you're still that little boy (...)" then, the conversation steers to the familiar ground and the topic of anger. in bruce's words, again: “i wanted to give jason an outlet for his rage…wanted him to expunge his anger and get on with his life…” and finishes "and instead, i may have killed him."
the recognition that bruce's projection on jason and involving him with his work might have fatal consequences is, as always, fast forgotten once jay wakes up and proclaims that he wants to continue his work as robin.
but to circle back, i think there's something else worth our attention, something deeply ironic, that is showcased in that issue: that bruce has no evidence for jay's "rage." when leslie talks of bruce's past, she recalls his tendencies to get into brutal fights at perceived injustice as early as in school; when bruce talks of jason, two pictures that are juxtaposed, are that of jason fighting as robin and jason... smiling, playing baseball.
so, in the early days of jason's training and work in the field, we see bruce talking of jason's anger a lot; but we barely see it.
that being said, jay is angry sometimes– and i think your observation about how bruce deals with it is incredibly interesting and accurate.
we first see jay truly and devastatingly angry in the two-face storyline. bruce focuses on jay's reaction as robin, which is, in fact, aggressive. but something that he barely addresses is that jason's first reaction is sleeping all day, and not beating anyone to a pulp; in fact, this vengeful instinct seems to arise only when he is put right in front of two-face. and his third instinct, once the rage (very quickly) dies down after the altercation with two-face, is crying, because bruce hid the truth about willis' death from him. jay, while crying, asks bruce: "you have taken me out into combat-- but you spare me this?" in response, bruce lectures jason about how grief inspires revenge, which is, again, deeply ironic, given that jay seeking out revenge seemed to be prompted and enabled solely by the role of robin. moreover, his question suggests that at this point he saw grief ("you spare me this") and fighting as two different things.
the final is, as you said, bruce focusing on making it into a lesson on vigilantism, or, in his own words, "tempering revenge into justice." personally, i think in this way bruce directs jason to bring his grief into the field as a powering force, something that he didn't necessarily have an own incentive to do. the flash of compartmentalisation between his ordinary life and being a sidekick that jay has shown by questioning bruce's decision is lost. emotions are now a robin thing, and they have an (informal) protocol, a moral code. and when jay is confronted with an emotionally exhausting case next – the garzonas case, i believe that the focus on "tempering revenge into justice" is exactly the problem– we don't see jay crying, we see him frantic about finding the solution. this, right there, is bruce's obsessiveness, that in my opinion, was developed in jay specifically as a result of how his engagement with vigilantism combines with his deep sensitivity.
and, needless to say, his sensitivity is all the same as that of bruce – they both can't stand looking at other people hurting, they both wear their hearts on their sleeve, caring way too much – the thing is, bruce never quite acknowledges how they are similar in this matter. instead, he focuses on his sparse bursts of anger, wanting to bring jason closure in his grief the only way he knows it – in a fight for a better world. so, as you said, he focuses on jason's ability as robin.
which just doesn't work for jason. at all. we know it from how his robin run comes to an end: in the first issue of a death in the family (batman #426) alfred informs: “i’ve come upon him, several times, looking at that battered old photograph of his mother and father, crying.” to that, bruce contends: “in other words, i may have started jason as robin before he had a chance to come to grips with his parents deaths.” he also tells jay that the field is not a place for someone who is hurting; a message that is the opposite of what he's been saying for years now, and something that i imagine was difficult for bruce to conceptualise, because then he would have to question his own unhealthy tendencies. it's a bit late to come to this realisation; bruce's self-projection that caused him to worry so much about jay's anger has already turned into a self-fulfilling prophecy that will fully manifest itself in utrh, when jason does the only thing he was taught to do with grief: try to channel it into justice.
#AHHH this took me so long for no reason at all. so sorry anon <3#anyway. i'm obsessed with your observation regarding bruce's focus on robin in the two-face storyline#i've already briefly considered it but you made me go back and reread it#and i just stared at these panels of jason in bed all day for like good 5 minutes thinking. jesus christ. jesus christ#“you spare me *this*?” <- this line is making me feel SICK TO MY STOMACH.#so maybe bruce is right when he says that he made jason like this in tfz.#and jay is of course even more right when he says that he didn't make him. he raised him#also don't apologise for bringing in gotham knights#i actually talked about it some before because it is a very good illustration of bruce projecting on jay#<- i didn't include it here bc my post was getting insanely long.#anyway back on the topic. i think it's so deeply sad that jay genuinely has no idea#that this is what bruce thinks#i think he would be DEVASTATED if he knew the way bruce fixated on the idea of his anger#hm. normal now.#thank you so much for this ask. you can tell i was delighted to answer it <3#i actually already had a draft about it when you sent it... but i'm sooo slow with editing my word vomit#outbox#jay.zip#jay.txt#dc#jason todd#core texts
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in love with my little crew
#henry got very very mad at sprig the other day#after a lot of trigger stacking#i had been bed bound for 4 days post tonsillectomy#so none of the dogs had had any interaction or exercise#so they were all stressed and restless#i was in bed and heard hollering and screaming#i ran downstairs and by the time i got there the fight was over and no one was injured#i looked back on the camera and hen had been lying down chewing something#moby was being irritating and trying to get it out of his mouth#hen ignored him#then budge came over and tried to retrieve it as well#hen continued munching and didn't even bother correcting them#but then sprig walked over to see what was going on#and stuck his head in hens mouth#hen gave a slight correction#and then sprig in awkward panic made a move to like mount hen??#and anyway hen just turned around and NAILED him#which was scary because hes never done anything like that before#I'm thinking it's because sprig is entire and also quite a bit larger#and apparently at like 10-12mo their hormones go insane even if they're not acting like jerks?? and it makes neutered males upset?#anyway i'm sure sprig has learnt not to hump hen#but my immediate instinct is to DESEX SPRIG NOW#because all of my dogs have been desexed under a year old#i dont know how to own entire dogs!#but i really really wanna keep spriggy entire until at least 2yrs#anyway Sprig literally just screamed and peed himself which was most of the noise#if needed i'll start separating the old man and the baby regularly so they can have time out from each other#still very good boys#henry#sprig
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tease tuesday + wip wednesday 🕊
(i'm smashing these 2 days together because i like to break the rules)
anyway have a lil bit of hoa eddie, uh, getting a hard dick for buck before dinner with his Nemesis
“You’re staring at me.” Buck shuffles forward, a few steps away from Eddie; he smells like mint and vanilla because he used Eddie’s shampoo like he always does and roses, too, that expensive cologne he pays half an arm for. “I am.” “Do I look bad?” No. Not at all. He’s wearing tight black jeans that hug the length of his long, thick legs in a way that leaves nothing to the imagination and a black knit sweater that has his biceps bulging and his tummy poking through and it’s obscene because he’s so goddamn thick that even normal clothes look small on him. Buck looks all different kinds of great and Eddie doesn’t know what to do with that or the tickle in his chest, the heavy heat in his gut. The gold chain with the little sunshine at the bottom sits pretty between his tits, a present Chris got him last year for Christmas that’s a fucking gift right now for Eddie. Christ. He blinks. “No,” he says, maybe a little too fast, but he can’t be blamed. Especially not when Buck looks as gorgeous as he does, in front of Eddie and in his bedroom with a door that locks. “You look pretty. That color is nice on you.” “It’s black.” “Okay?” Eddie bristles. The tips of his ears burn. “It looks good.” Buck fingers the hem of his sweater. “Thanks,” he says, whisper-soft and ruddy-cheeked like he’s embarrassed or something, before looking up and giving Eddie a dazzling smile. “You, uh, look good, too.” And Eddie does. He’s wearing his best pair of blue jeans and a dark green sweater he found in the back of his closet that he knows looks good on him because Marisol couldn’t keep her hands off when he wore it, but he has nothing on Buck. Nothing at all. “Buck—” “I need—” Christopher barges in the room, knocking the door against the wall like he pays the bills. “You guys take so long.”
tagged by @daffi-990, @jesuisici33, and @wikiangela mwah i adore all of you!
tagging @callmenewbie, @callaplums, @eddiebabygirldiaz, @eddiediaztho, @honestlydarkprincess, @wildlife4life, @thewolvesof1998, @try-set-me-on-fire, @exhuastedpigeon, @fortheloveofbuddie, @giddyupbuck, @ladydorian05, @loserdiaz, @monsterrae1, @mysteriouslyyounggalaxy, and anybody else who wants to share 🫶🏼
#let me get mushy real fast and say these games really hold me accountable for actually working on shit instead of just#letting it rot in the wip folder#because this fic is nearly 30k and it's only halfway through#and i'm BEGGING my brain to get it finished before the new year my fucking god#and i'm excited to share the WHOLE thing with yall and not just these out of pocket snippets because#eddie is on some other type of level in this and he just gets better every fuckin second i swear#anyway!#i will be back later#am going to take a small nap because i didn't go to bed until 5:30 and wound up waking up at 8:30? what a bitch#tag games
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tdov was like a week ago already but I just wanna say when I came over to vacation slash help my sworn brother move flat he told me, "ever since you said you wanted to get top surgery I've been thinking about it. it's straight up number two on my bucket list"
#bakuspeech#number one is a house bc obviously. if u can own a house wouldnt u#he was very drunk at that time of the evening. I was not bc I have the constitution of a hot air balloon and any stimulant will blow me up#(relatively new development. france fucked me up big time turns out)#we held hand on his bed for like the whole evening. it was honestly very funny in hindsight but we were extremely earnest in the moment#and Im like. working on this thing as well. I dont got meds or therapy lmao Im bootstrappin here#but yeah early last year his bf offered to get me meds and I... turned it down... I think I was worried abt like. idk. something#but one year past looking back Im fully like that was a stupid move you shouldve gotten meds. youve once again fucked urself baku#but yeah with that kinda realization Ive also come to realized I've somewhat? accepted. that I'm just gonna be. like this#this in light of a number of likely chronic stuff too (hence my balloon-like constitution lmao) and#that's kinda bled into the rest of me without me really noticing#but him bringing that up fully unprompted... kinda jolted me out of it#its just. really incredibly sweet. that someone doesn't want me to settle for what I make do with#and like. preps for that work. just kinda held my hand and told me it's possible to do this actually#I didn't really express how I felt very well in that moment I think my brain is very bad and I process emotions with like a day of delay#but. well. Im thinking abt it Right Now. so yknow thats the kind of impact that had on me lol#not super sure why I wrote all this down here really. I think I just want a good n nice reminder that object permanence is real#and I exist in my friends' life even when Im going insane in a hole by myself#and with the power of friendship we can alter the universe's plan for ourselves and also kill god#that's that. anyways I eat lunch now and then pass out probably. last night was... eventful lmao#but!! very good things on the horizon hopefully. well manifestly we hold hammers and we use them#have a good day lads. let's go out and slay monsters under a highway
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#soemtimes you get closure on a fandom you didn't know you needed closure for#and maybe that fandom is tied to other memories and this means you can put them to bed a little#and maybe now you can go back and listen to the songs from that time again#because that time is over and you don't have to worry about it anymore#and yeah it'll still affect you -- those things and those people (especially the one who introduced you to the fandom) made you who you are#at least partially#but now it won't be so bad#anyway that was an unexpected thing to see on my dash but my soul settled a little bit -- not much but maybe it's more than i had yesterday#anyway back to your regularly scheduled program
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Sunday doodles
#you ever just *puts feet on the wall*#or sit upside down off the side of your bed#i saw a post earlier this week I've been trying to find about fearing god#i read it but didn't have time to share my thoughts and i forgot to save it to my drafts so i lost it#anyway they talked about fearing god in service today#the overlap of related events like this scares me all the time#like... i know this stuff just happens and they had this sermon planned for months and it's coincidental#''but what if god is actually real and this is him trying to talk to me? what if he's trying to move me back on track?''#that's something i can't help but think#i'm starting to think I'll never know what is real and whether there's a god and if i really am setting myself up to burn in hell#i have to make a choice whether to leave my friends and hide who I am and go back to the church#or be myself and enjoy my time alive knowing what could be waiting for me when I go#I know that sounds extremely dramatic but it's something I think about a lot#it's one thing for someone to have never gotten to known God#but some say that the one unforgivable sin - the only thing that can keep you out of heaven forever...#...is knowing god and accepting him in your heart but then turning your back on him#I've done those rituals; been baptized and taken communion and said the famous prayer#if that unforgivable sin is true then I guess i've already made my choice; there really is no going back for me haha#damn right that god is scary lol#not tagging the game because I monolouged too much lmao#doodles#sunday doodles#depressing sunday doodle posts have arrived once again#dw im chilling today just lost in thought#was able to put in pto so i get the day to reflect on the very important things 21 year olds think about#things like ''what could've been'' and ''how do i want to draw my next fluffy boy''
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I need a new icon
#cid.txt#slowly going insane over here and i need to ramble#so this is still early and crimes isn't back completely. but i may end up giving paris a new face. face 2 specifically#i will say face 2 middie is less angular now which is something i like. it got softer but not babyish#before DT face 2 was more mature than i imagined paris looking like. i originally was gonna use that for their older look down the road#i was never /completely/ satisfied with f1 pre-DT but it didn't affect me as much as it does now#the eye shape is the most important part. paris has heavy-lidded angular eyes in my head#whereas face 1 got too round. at least from my perspective (it's definitely the iris of f1 that's screwing with me)#and looking at the emotes in the CC with f2 i saw more of paris in it than their current face#expressions for f1 now got cutesy sadly. 'annoyed' is more of a pout than an actual scowl#i know for certain achille is keeping his face based off his vibes but paris makes me cringe just looking at them#i'm making preparations in the event this happens and i snagged the free fanta from ul'dah#i'll still need to do some tweaking if i go through with this: like giving f2 thicker eyebrows tone down the eyelashes and a nose scar#and still find a way to make the lips more matte. but at least they're not /too/ glossy#anyway i should be in bed but i'm bouncing off my walls
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