#anyways i am not a writer at all but the vibes grabbed me by the scruff and threw me into a google doc

[isalisewrites]

A Deep Dive into JKR's Terrible, Amateur Writing - Reflective Interlude

Hello and welcome to my ballsy series where I will prove to you, dear reader, that J.K. Rowling, author of the Harry Potter series and resident Twitter TERF, is actually a very, very poor writer.

And when I say ‘poor writer,’ I’m talking about her prose, her sentence structure, and her scenes in the Harry Potter series. I am not going to discuss anything about the HP world nor the overall plot of the books. 

This is all about the nitty gritty in the craft of writing itself.

Part One Link.

Part Two Link.

However…

Hiya! *waves* I’m Isa, the author of this… Actually, I dunno what to call this series anymore. Anyway, thus far, you’ve heard a very satirical tone from me in the previous two posts, but that’s not my normal tone. I’m a rather laid back kind of gal with a side of sarcasm and deluge of emoji usage.

I have used quite a confident, even bombastically obnoxious tone in the effort to be entertaining and engaging with these posts. It was meant to be playful and sarcastic. It’s the internet, so I’m aware everyone’s attention is… kind of like a commodity, unfortunately. Look at TikTok or YouTube. How long does a 30s video hold your attention before you’re scrolling to the next? It depends for me, I’ll admit. People don’t have the attention span for long style posts such as these and that’s fair. Sometimes, I don’t either.

Thus, I used repeated ‘catch phases’ to maintain a rhythm and a thematic style through the series with a controversial title meant to hook a reader. I repeat the opening, even in this post. I repeat ‘Class is in session’ to show the beginning of the major section of the post.

However, in this interlude, I’ve toned it all down because I wanted to give you a window into my heart, my purpose, and my intent in this series. It is a reflective post that ends with writing motivation to you, my dear reader, as well as links to writerly resources. 

I’ve had a lot to think about this week and I realized that many writers (and other creatives) have to battle against an enemy found within themselves. This enemy often torments many with cruel, destructive thoughts; they burrow their way into so many writers’ minds. It whispers: “Can you really do this? Are you really sure you’re any good? Aren’t you just fooling yourself? They’re going to find out you’re just a fraud. So… why bother?”

Whose voice is that?

Let’s talk about the destroyer of creation, Imposter Syndrome, why I refuse to let the bastard infect me anymore, and why my confident tone in previous posts has grated nerves.

Remember: take what resonates and leave what doesn’t.

(This means I write my posts with the honest acceptance and expectation that not everything will fit with your style, your vibes, or your personality. That’s okay.)

All right, let’s buckle up, my dear writing friends. Grab a snack. Hydrate. Let’s begin. And yes…

Class is in session on this little Tumblr post… should you wish to attend.

Having confidence or pride in one’s work seems to be taboo. Any brief moment in time where I tried to be proud about my writing or say, Hey, I’m a good writer, I was always told to be humble. “Don’t be prideful. Be humble.” It would often chip away at my self esteem. I could be a good writer, but I couldn’t allow myself to feel like a good writer.

But no more.

I have only given myself permission to be confident about my writing within the past month. This is why I started this series in the first place. I wanted to share knowledge and in an entertaining way. I make a bold claim that I’m a better writer than JKR; I analyze her writing to both improve my own understanding and to help others as well.

However, this does not mean I’ve ever been under the delusion I’m perfect. Absolutely not. God, that’s so fucking laughable! I am not perfect. I am not a perfect writer. I definitely don’t know everything. Someone once corrected me, informing me that snakes are venomous, not poisonous. Bless them, wasn’t aware of that. Immediately fixed that. One of the recent reblogs said geodes do not contain emeralds. God bless, I didn’t know that, though in the case of how it was used in TBG, I won’t be changing it since it’s within a character thought.

Sorry, Tom. I guess you need to take a geology class, too.

Ugh, and I have so many godforsaken typos. My soul withers when I catch a typo after I’ve posted a chapter. I miss things all the time. I repeat things because ‘that’s my thing’ and I don’t always catch them in my edits. I forget things all the time. Thank GOD for Dede, someone who loved TBG so much she spent countless hours archiving data from it, where she caught a number of inconsistencies and alerted me to them. I still haven’t been able to fix them yet, but I’m so grateful to her. I’ve noted them all down. Harry’s height often is incorrectly implied to be taller than it should be because my brain isn’t wired for imagery. My brain forgets TBG Harry is a short king at 5’4” while TBG Tom is 6’2” and I need to go back to fix all of those. 

I am not a perfect writer and I don’t claim to be.

My goals with this series are to study/learn for myself, teach/share knowledge with others, and learn some more from this experience. I love this kind of analysis. But there’s difference between my analysis of JKR’s writing and a number of those who have retaliated with an analysis of my writing. 

Instead of looking at my imperfections with the desire to learn from them, they were illuminated in the attempt to ‘take me down a notch.’ To those who put in the effort to make counterpoints, I do thank you for your contribution to this series. It is appreciated, even when given impolitely and with the intent to ‘put me in my place.’

Despite all of my errors and imperfections, I still stand by my statement: I am a better writer than J.K. Rowling.

Do you know who else is a better writer than her? I could list thousands of them. They’re fanfiction writers. They’re indie authors. They’re other traditional published authors. They are so many other writers that, yes, I do think are stronger writers than JKR. 

And you’re a better writer, too, so long as you wish it.

I sincerely want you to believe that.

Why? Because it’s clear within the Harry Potter series that JKR did not make attempts to grow as a writer. She just wrote. Perhaps she was under deadlines, but the lack of editing is pretty apparent to me. When you write a lot, you will inevitably get more skilled over time, but you have to actively be seeking improvement to see drastic change in your own skill. It is this lack of drive that I see within her work. She’s not making attempts to push the boundaries of her abilities and skills with each new book.

I’m not at the end of my journey of learning. I never will be. I love expanding my skills. I’m even learning during the process of writing these posts, too. I’m seeing more weaknesses in my own work and I’m now thinking on ways to strengthen my writing even further.

That’s the point of this series.

In the end, it’s not really about me. No, really, it’s not about me. I truly think it’s about the jealousy of seeing another writer be confident in their work. You see, I’m not supposed to be confident; I’m not supposed to act like I can help and teach others to write. How dare I. Posting anything about my work is an act of attention seeking. I’m supposed to be ‘humble.’ I’m supposed to be silent. I’m supposed to wave a shy, dismissive hand at compliments.

Why?

Why is being proud of one’s work and loving one’s own work such a controversial idea?

Imposter Syndrome often cripples creators. There’s already so much self doubt and anxiety in the world, but Imposter Syndrome can really wreck with a creator’s mind. It’s a poison. It stops you from creating what you love most. When you believe you aren’t good enough, then it becomes harder to try. Your belief becomes truth to you, whether or not it was true in reality in the first place. Perhaps, you sink into depression. You become anxious about sharing anything, for fear anyone might say even the slightest negative comment. The heart becomes fragile and brittle, and the muscle which builds skill atrophies over time. You see your work through a lens of self hate. You can only see flaws.

“I will never be good enough.”

When you’re in this state of mind, it’s hard to see the truth about your work.

But let me promise you something: your writing is far more beautiful than you realize.

In spirit, all creative writing is perfect to me with all of its typos and mistakes (yes, even all of the Harry Potter books!), but no single work is objectively perfect. There will always be room to improve your creation because you’re constantly growing. It’s why so many aspiring novelists fall into an endless cycle of editing their first few chapters. The more they write, the more they improve; thus, when they go back to their earlier chapters, they get stuck trying to update those chapters instead of pushing forward to the finish line.

Your work is valuable, no matter what. It’s beautiful. You’re allowed to love your work. You’re allowed to see the good in it and you’re allowed to have confidence in yourself. You’re allowed to say to yourself and to others, I’m a damn good writer.

You deserve to have love, for yourself and for your art.

I have often sincerely complimented other writers and, many times, after they respond with their thanks, it becomes clear to me they’re not confident in their work, yet they have still bravely shared it with us.

I’m so proud of them. Thank you for your bravery.

My heart breaks for them, too. They’re such good writers—such damn good writers. And I wish they knew and believed this.

I will always do everything in my power to encourage others.

How do you feel about your writing? Do you like your writing? You should. You really should because it is good. You created it, after all. There will always be space to grow and refine your craft, of course, but you are a good writer now. You’re going to be a better writer tomorrow and the next day, so long as you desire this growth in yourself. There’s no destination, though. There’s no magic level you have to reach before you’re allowed to have some confidence in yourself and your abilities. The only trap to avoid is remaining stagnant. Writing is a skill. Writing is a craft. This means it gets better through study and practice.

You can achieve that.

I know it’s hard, though. There are so many naysayers in life. There are so many people waiting to attack and bring others down, both on the internet and in our own families. How many precious fanfics have been lost because a writer received horrible, hateful comments? How many writers have disappeared from the internet because of this cruelty? We have lost many in all fandoms. That is unacceptable to me.

Uplift others. Spread love, not hate.

You’re allowed to be proud about your work, imperfect as it may be. Please, I beg you, don’t let the negative voices of others—including your own!—drag you down and steal the joy of creating. I know it’s so very, very hard to stand strong against such voices. Words have power, but you have more. Resist the naysayers.

What you have to offer the world is precious. Please lift your head and acknowledge that what you create is good. It’s great. It’s amazing. It’s fucking fantastic. You’re not an imposter nor a fraud. No one can offer what you can to the world. No one can write the stories you have in your head the way you can. Your style is unique to you. You’re allowed to love it as it is now and you’re allowed to love it whatever form it takes in the future.

Imposter Syndrome is a thief; toss it into jail and throw away the key.

My writing is not perfect and it never will be, but I’m a better writer today than I was ten years ago. I’m a seeker of my own growth. I’m often reading books on writing and watching YouTube videos on writing. I absorb it all because writing is my truest love and passion. My style has evolved from reading endless amount of novels and fanfics. I devour both. 

But I wasted a decade thinking I didn’t have what it takes.

And life is short. I can’t waste anymore time.

Don’t be like past Isa, please.

There’s a difference in refinement between an episodic fanfic posted over the course of years and a traditional novel published in whole, but I still stand by my work. I recognize my style will not be enjoyed by all those who read it. It’s okay if you don’t like my style. I’m eternally grateful for the many readers who do love my writing. I’m humbled and honored by the sheer volume of people who have commented, bookmarked, and have left kudos on my work. Thank you.

My style has evolved into what it is today due to a combination of two things.

I have ADHD. It’s why my style uses smaller paragraphs as a whole.

I have aphantasia. I lack a mind that can visualize pictures. I literally cannot see anything in my mind. When people say, “I can picture it in my mind,” that’s not me. I cannot at all. When there’s a lack of description in prose, it feels blank and empty to me. This is why I use vivid descriptions in the way I do because otherwise I feel nothing from my work.

It’s okay if this style doesn’t work for you. I love my style because it caters to what I need. I also love other styles that don’t use as much description; however, I can’t always follow what’s happening because of the wiring of my brain. I can get lost sometimes, but I still appreciate their style because I can’t effectively do what they can.

If you find no value in my style and what I offer in this series here, then that’s okay. I’m not offended. This series is for those who benefit from it. For you, there are so many other writers out there from whom you can learn and I’m more than happy to send you in the direction that benefits you the most.

Here’s a list of YouTubers you might find interesting.

ShaelinWrites has been working on many unpublished projects through the years and has lots of great discussion videos on writing.

Abbie Emmons is a self published author with solid writing advice in all of her videos. 

Alexa Donne is a traditionally published author with great insider information into the traditional publishing world. 

Ellen Brock is a professional editor. She knows her stuff.

I hesitantly suggest Jenna Moreci and her content on YouTube because I think she has some major weaknesses in her writing. Many others have seen this about her books. However, she is a successful indie author and her YouTube content has a lot of value.

Brandon Sanderson has an entire college course in a playlist on his channel. It’s a fabulous free resource if you vibe with his style of writing. Highly recommend. 

Here’s a list of writing books I recommend.

Elements of Fiction Writing, a five book series. My TOP recommendation is Elements of Fiction Writing - Beginnings, Middles & Ends.

Sin and Syntax: How to Craft Wicked Good Prose

Let the Crazy Child Write!: Finding Your Creative Writing Voice

Novelist's Essential Guide to Crafting Scenes

All right then.

Thank you for sticking around. I hope you accept this post in the good faith it was given and was always given in the previous posts. Next post, I’ll be returning to my playful satirical tone. Hehe~!

Please do the world the greatest of favors and write. Create. Share your fanfiction. Become best selling authors, traditional or indie. I promise you’re far more capable and skilled than you realize.

Until next time.

Isa

[wooahaeproductions]

You Drive Me Crazy (But It Feels Alright)

Lee Jihoon (Woozi) x Female Reader

Genre: angst, fluff, smut, fake dating au, 90s au, ex-best friends au, and heavily based off the movie You Drive Me Crazy

Word Count: 15.2k (IM SO SORRY🙃 )

Warnings: language, mentions of terminal illness and death, bullying, drinking, drunken bad ideas, mentions of medicine, cheating, breakups, general college debauchery, making fun of furs in the fashion industry (used only to go with the 90s vibes), lots of feelings and oppressing them, jokes and conversations about sex, making out and kissing, and mentions of vomiting.

Smut Warnings: a little dry humping, semi public sex in a backyard treehouse? and protected sex (honestly the smut in this is pretty vanilla)

Rating: 18+

A/N: After forever, I’m excited to present this fic to you. I have never written anything this long before so once again I am sorry. Thank you to @beomcoups and @mingsolo for hosting the Now That’s 90’s! collab, as a 90s kid myself it was my pleasure to participate. Please go check out all the other amazing writers who joined as well!

Special thanks to Indi @playmetheclassics and Sammie @slightlymore for beta reading this monster for me. You guys are the best and I love you 💕 ~Bee

Network tags: @kbookshelf

With one last glance at your appearance in the mirror, you grabbed your bookbag from the chair in the corner of your room. You headed down the long curved staircase before opening the front door of the sorority house. 

You were almost going to be late, and to make matters worse, you came face-to-face with your enemy at the end of the driveway. Which wasn’t that unusual since he walked this way too, despite living further away, but you tried your best to avoid him anyway.

“Ew, what are you doing here?” Jihoon asks, walking past you at the driveway and lifting his lip in disgust.

“I live at the sorority, remember, asshole?” you spat, hating the fact that you had to walk in the same direction to get to campus. You two had been this way for a long time now, and it had become a habit to be prickly toward him. 

It hadn’t always been like that, though. In fact, you guys used to be best friends, completely inseparable. At least until his mom got sick when you were in junior high, and he started hanging out with some different people and getting into trouble. You then got in with the popular kids, and you and Jihoon have become enemies ever since. 

You two walked stiffly beside each other as you reached the edge of campus, and Jihoon’s friends appeared. Seokmin put him in a small headlock, and Seungkwan gave you a small smile while Wonwoo just shook his head. You actually knew his three best friends as well. You all used to hang out way back when. You smiled meekly back before arms wrapped around your shoulders, and your boyfriend, Johnny, had found you as well. 

“Hey, babe,” Johnny said, smacking a kiss near your ear. You resisted the urge to cringe. He was in the popular crowd too, a football player. While he wasn’t that bad and was easy on the eyes, he was boring, only caring about football and whatever party was next to attend. You missed having someone with a level of intelligence, someone you could debate things with like you used to do with Jihoon. It didn’t matter, though. You were enemies now, and nothing would change that. 

You made it through your first few classes, and you were having lunch in the courtyard with Johnny along with what you considered the entire popular crew, including your best friend, Jennie. You sat at a long table, eating a sandwich while everyone talked about the next football game and a party at Mingyu’s that was happening later. 

Across the courtyard, you spotted Jihoon in your line of vision, his girlfriend pushing him against the concrete wall, practically sucking his face off. You swallowed a bite of your sandwich, trying not to gag. Just as you turned away from the sight, Seungkwan was walking past. Before you could stop him, Johnny pretended to accidentally put his foot out in front of him. Seungkwan tripped over it, dropping the food he was carrying all over the ground and falling forward. The entire table erupted in laughter as Johnny retracted his foot like it had never been there. “Having trouble walking, Kwannie?” Johnny’s best friend, Mark heckled.

Seungkwan looked at Mark and Johnny with loathing. You got up, giving Johnny and Mark a glare. “What? We were only having some fun,” Johnny said innocently. You threw what was left of your food in the trash and walked over to Seungkwan. You stuck your hand out, letting him grab it and helped him up from the ground. 

“Thanks, Y/N. You know you didn’t have to,” he said.

“I know, Seungkwan, but it’s not like I hate you too,” you said softly.

“See you around,” he said, a sad smile on his face before he walked out of the courtyard.

Later that evening, you were getting ready for Mingyu’s party with Jennie because both she and Johnny insisted you had to appear. “So, our sorority ball is coming up…do you think Johnny is going to ask you soon?” Jennie asked.

“Yeah, I’m sure he’s going to. I mean, who else would I go with?” you said, brushing off her question. You were helping plan the entire thing, and he knew it was important, so there wasn’t any reason why he wouldn’t be asking you. 

She nodded, but her face said she was skeptical. “What about you? Has anyone asked you yet?” You turned the question around on her.

“No, but I’m sure Mingyu or Taeyong will ask. It’s not like I don’t have options,” she bragged, and you struggled to hide your contempt. While you were part of the popular crowd, Jennie had always been the most popular. Others were more drawn to her than you.

You escaped the rest of the conversation with Jennie when it was interrupted by a honking sound, indicating Johnny was there to pick the two of you up to go to the party. You both walked outside and as you approached his truck, you heard music blasting out of the open windows. Mark was in the front passenger seat while you and Jennie slipped in the back with Mark’s girlfriend, Miyeon.

Miyeon waved at you and you barely got your seatbelt on before the truck lurched forward, making its way down the road towards Mingyu’s house. “Who’s ready to dominate at pong tonight?” Mark bragged.

“Yeahhhhh,” Johnny enthused, reaching over to bump Mark’s fist with his. You rolled your eyes and looked over at Jennie. She just shrugged at you like it wasn’t as big of an annoyance as you were making it out to be.

The truck swung into the driveway of Mingyu’s house, and as Johnny cut the engine, it was replaced by the louder sounds of the house party. More music blasted from the back of the house where the pool was, and you could hear the sounds of splashing along with the hum of many people conversing at once. 

You followed behind Johnny as you weaved through the house, making your way to the kitchen for a drink. The large island was littered with many types of alcohol and random snacks. The signature punch bowl filled with some sort of pink liquid had also made its usual appearance, but you had made that mistake enough times and knew better enough to stay far away from it. 

You grabbed a red solo cup from the stack on the counter, making a mixed drink out of some random soda and liquor that sounded decent. It looked like Johnny had done the same and was pulling you by the hand to go out in the backyard where Mingyu and the rest of their buddies were. Jennie was already cozying up and dancing with some guy you didn’t recognize, likely from another university.

Meanwhile, Jihoon was on a date with his girlfriend, Shayla at a weird little bar across ton. Well, it was supposed to be a date, but all Jihoon had done was down beers while Shayla listened to some guy on the stage in front drone on about how real furs were being used in the fashion industry.

Jihoon hated how Shayla was looking at this guy, like he was the one single-handedly stopping the usage of real furs. Never mind the fact that she was on a date with Jihoon, her boyfriend. Jihoon scowled as he chugged beer after beer. 

He didn’t even notice how drunk he was until he got up and the room started spinning slightly. Stumbling over his chair, he looked over to find that Shayla had gone to the edge of the stage and was actively flirting with the fur guy. Jihoon needed to go to the bathroom and then he needed to get out of there. 

As he was washing his hands in the bathroom, he stared at his reflection in the mirror and realized he had started to sober up rather quickly, but he had ridden here with Shayla. Jihoon found the pay phone near the door of the bar. The opening and closing of the door created cold rushes of air, sobering him even more. He called one of his best friends, who also happened to be a designated driver for when the popular kids had parties. 

After feeding the pay phone the correct amount of coins and dialing the number, Wonwoo’s voice picked up after a few rings. “Jihoooonnnn, what’s up?” Wonwoo asked.

“Can you come get me from that stupid bar Shayla likes? I drank, and Shayla drove here,” Jihoon explained. 

“And you aren’t coming back with her?” Wonwoo questioned. Jihoon looked back toward the table he had been at with Shayla, only to find her making out with the fur dude.

“No, we broke up,” he said, bitterly. 

Wonwoo sighed. “Alright, I’ll come get you before we head to pick someone up at Mingyu’s party,” he said before hanging up. 

Jihoon hung up the line on his end and made a beeline back to where Shayla was. He tapped on her shoulder, breaking her from the make-out session, and immediately her face turned into one of someone who had been caught.

“We’re done, Shayla,” Jihoon said, rather dryly. He turned on his heel, not waiting for a reaction from her and walked out of the bar to wait for Wonwoo outside in the parking lot. 

When Jihoon was busy drowning in beers at the bar, you were also having an unfortunate turn of events. The party started out fine, you were having a good time dancing with Johnny and it progressed into being his partner for beer pong against Mark and Miyeon. 

Unfortunately, you and Johnny were losing. It started out okay, Johnny was being a bit of a gentleman and was drinking for you, but that was leaving him pretty smashed. It was Mark’s turn and he had gotten the ball in another cup, making Johnny drink yet another cup of beer. 

Johnny stumbled backward, spilling most of the contents of his cup on a girl who was walking behind him. It was like a scene from a movie, you watched as Johnny apologized to her and their eyes met each other’s. Anyone around could have seen the immediate connection. 

You originally tried to brush it off but with Johnny being as drunk as he was, it was apparent that something was bound to happen. Later, when you had come inside to use the bathroom, you would find Johnny and that girl sucking face right next to the bathroom door.

A screamed breakup and way too many drinks later, Jennie had called a designated driver to take you home. You sat on Mingyu’s front porch, sulking and watching the world spin when Wonwoo’s car pulled up. 

“Hey there, Y/N,” Wonwoo said, getting out of the driver's seat and approaching you on the porch. You gave him a nonchalant peace sign before noticing he had another passenger in the car. 

“Oh, great. That’s just the thing to top off my night, being stuck in a car with Jihoon while I’m drunk,” you said sarcastically, letting Wonwoo lead you down the steps and toward the car.

“I know, Y/N, but he called me too, and he is my friend as well. Try to bear with it, and you’ll be home soon enough,” Wonwoo said, knowing full well the relationship, or rather hate-ship, between you and Jihoon.

You rolled your eyes but slid into the seat next to Jihoon as Wonwoo shut the door after you. “Seriously, Wonwoo? This is who you needed to pick up from Mingyu’s party?” Jihoon’s annoyance was evident. Already tired from your rant, Wonwoo just gave him a hard stare in the rearview mirror. 

Leaving the party, the car was silent until Wonwoo brought up the reason for picking you up. “Y/N, you aren’t one to get that drunk at these parties. Jennie may have mentioned something happened..” 

You pulled your sweater around you and grumbled. “Johnny got too drunk, and after some weird drama connection shit, I found him and a girl from another university making out. He claims they ‘fell in love’,” you explained, using air quotes at the end. 

“So you broke up?” Jihoon’s question surprised you, but you were too tired and drunk to actively be rude to him

“Yeah, we broke up,” you confirmed.

“Seems to be the theme tonight,” Wonwoo mused from the front seat.

Confused, you looked over at Jihoon who was picking at his hands and looking at something particularly enthralling on the floor of the automobile. So, he and Shayla must have broken up as well. You felt that was interesting since they seemed attached at the hip, attached at the mouth too. Jihoon looked out the window now, and you saw a hurt in his eyes that he so seldom showed, but it was a familiar vulnerability that you remember from when you were kids. 

“We’re here, Y/N,” Wonwoo announced, and you realized he had pulled up in front of your sorority house. You didn’t know if it was the alcohol or being in an enclosed space with Jihoon that messed with your perception of time, but you were home quicker than you expected.

“Oh. Um, thanks, Wonwoo,” you mumbled, pushing the passenger door of the car open.

“Are you good? Can you get to the door okay?” Wonwoo asked.

“Yeah,” you responded, swinging your heavy-feeling feet out of the car before shutting the door a little harder than you meant to.

Jihoon watched as you stumbled down the walkway and nearly smacked yourself in the knee when you opened the front door of the sorority, a chuckle escaping him. “Was that a laugh I heard?” Wonwoo asked, turning around in his seat to scrutinize Jihoon’s expression.

“No…” Jihoon mumbled and cleared his throat. Wonwoo just shook his head, turned back to the front and pulled away from the sorority house to drop off his friend. 

“So, are you really that broken up about Shayla?” Wonwoo inquired, filling the five-minute drive with conversation.

“Honestly? Not really. I’m more upset about the way we broke up rather than the actual break up,” Jihoon explained, his hand running at his bangs in annoyance.

“Seriously. Out of everyone she could have kissed, it was some dumb activist guy at the bar. Now that you guys are over, I can say this, but Seok, Seungkwan, and I didn’t really think she fit with you. You deserve so much better,” Wonwoo ranted on Jihoon’s behalf.

The car had pulled up in Jihoon’s driveway while they were talking, and Jihoon slapped a hand on Wonwoo’s shoulder as he got up from the backseat. “Thanks, Woo. I know you guys didn’t care for her much, so now it’s ancient history,” Jihoon said, leaving Wonwoo alone in the car and making his way up his front porch steps.

He had barely gotten into the house and gone up the stairs to his room to flop onto his bed when the phone rang. “No, Seokmin. For the final time, we are not adding dancing suns to the music video edit,” Jihoon said into the phone automatically, not even bothering to say a greeting first.

“Uh, what?” you asked, confused.

Hearing your voice on the other line caused Jihoon to sit upright immediately. “Y/N? How did you get this number?” he questioned, surprised. 

“I remembered it..” you said, softly. As much as you hated Jihoon, your memories of your childhood remained, and that included his phone number. 

“Oh. So..why are you calling?” he asked, falling back onto his bed.

“I had an idea. What if...we dated each other?” You stated your idea, twirling the phone cord around your finger.

“What if we what? Y/N, you’re drunk,” Jihoon exclaimed.

“I'm not anymore, just hear me out. Not really dating but just pretending so that we could get what we wanted. I’d get to go to the sorority dance that I worked hard to plan and maintain my status while making Johnny jealous, and you’d get to show Shayla that she made a big mistake,” you blurted out your crazy idea.

“I don't know where you got this insane idea, but you should drink some water and take an ibuprofen for the nasty headache you’ll have in the morning,” he said, sighing.

“I’m serious, just think about it okay? Goodnight, Ji,” you said, his old nickname rolling off your tongue easily. 

Jihoon sighed again, “Good night, Y/N,” and he hung up the phone before falling asleep.

Your sleep was invaded by the sunlight shining in through your window, and as you opened your eyes, the splitting headache that resulted from last night's events made itself known. You sat up in bed slowly, pressing the palm of your hand against your eyes as if that would help when you remembered your phone call last night with Jihoon. He told you to drink water and take an ibuprofen.

You got up sluggishly and made your way to the bathroom, grabbing the cup that you left on the counter for when you got thirsty in the middle of the night. You filled it with water from the sink and found the ibuprofen bottle that was kept in the cabinet, spilling two pills into your palm. You popped them in your mouth and knocked them back, taking a drink of the water to swallow them. 

As you took a second drink of water for good measure, the rest of your conversation with Jihoon passed through your memories, and you spit water all over the mirror in front of you. You knew that you had been thinking how pretending to date each other would be an option, but you didn’t think you would actually ask him to do it. Apparently, drunken Y/N thought otherwise and had straight up called him and asked him to do it.

You smacked yourself in the forehead, making your head feel worse. “Well, it’s been said. And he didn’t agree to it yet, so let’s see what happens,” you murmured to yourself, resigned to the fact that it had indeed been said and maybe he wouldn’t go for it. No sense in being embarrassed about something you barely remember saying.

Which is why you didn’t expect to have Jihoon standing in front of you in the campus cafe on Monday morning saying, “I’ll do it,” causing you to spit your drink out for the second time in three days.

“You’ll what?” you asked, incredulous, as you wiped the coffee you sprayed all over the table in front of you. 

Jihoon sighed, not wanting to repeat himself. “I said, I’ll do it. Let’s fake date,” he repeated anyway, slowly to make his words heard. You blinked and just stared at him, absorbing what he just said. He stared back, his eyes boring into yours, and you saw no sign of his usual pettiness or jokes.

“Okay,” you finally breathed out, “but we should have some rules.”

“Agreed,” he said, sitting down next to you now.

“Okay….” you said, mulling over what those rules would actually be. “Alright, you’ll need a makeover. No one would believe we are together looking like…this,” you continued, gesturing at his overall self.

“Like what, Y/N?” Jihoon asked, even though he knew full well what you meant.

“We need to make it seem like you are someone I’d go for,” you said, trying to make your case.

“Fine, but I will not like it,” he replied with a glare, and you let out a little triumphant smile. “So then the other rule is that we have an easy out clause,” he said, offering a rule of his own.

“An easy out clause?” you questioned. 

“Yeah. So we can end the fake relationship at any time for any reason, and there won’t be any hard feelings. Other than the ones we already have for each other, of course,” Jihoon continued.

“Alright, an easy out clause,” you agreed. You let the awkward silence stew between the two of you for a bit before you spoke once more. “We both have classes until 4 pm today and then I have some work for the ball to do…are you free tomorrow night?”

“I think so, but why?” he asked, skeptically.

“So we can take care of the first rule, your makeover,” you replied.

Jihoon grimaced. “Okay, meet me in front of my house at 6 pm tomorrow,” he said, getting up and stuffing his hands in his pockets before leaving for his class. You attempted to finish what was left of your coffee and head off to your next class as well.

The next day at 6 pm, like promised, you were standing in front of a very familiar house from your childhood-Jihoon’s house. While you joined a sorority and lived on campus, Jihoon still lived here with his dad. Not only was it close to the university, but you figured some part of him didn’t want to leave his dad alone. 

You took a deep breath and walked up the front steps, ringing the doorbell. The door swung open, revealing Jihoon’s dad. “Well hello, Y/N. It’s been a long time since I’ve seen you,” he said, opening the door further to let you step inside. 

“Hi Mr. Lee,” you said, standing in the foyer rather awkwardly. Honestly, the last time you stepped foot in this house was the day of Mrs. Lee’s funeral. It was also the last time you and Jihoon acted like friends.

“Ji should be down in a minute,” Mr Lee said, leaving you and going back into the kitchen. You looked down at your feet, rocking back and forth on your heels until you heard the creaking of the stairs. Jihoon looked like his usual self, wearing jeans and a band tee. You couldn’t help but smile. However, if the two of you dating were to seem real then he needed to fit in with the popular crowd. And that started with a look that aligned with that.

Jihoon cleared his throat, suddenly standing in front of you, and you realized you must have spaced out. “Ready?” he asked.

“Yeah, we should get going,” you said. He grabbed his car keys from the small table near the door before ushering you back through the front door and closing it behind him. He also opened the passenger door of the car for you, making you quirk an eyebrow at his actions. His only response was a shrug of the shoulders. 

After you were both settled in the car he asked, “So where to?”

“The mall,” you responded with an excited smile.

Jihoon groaned, “Are you trying to kill my reputation as a geek?” You blinked, surprised at his joking tone before letting out a giggle.

“Precisely,” you answered, laughing once more. Jihoon started the car, driving toward the demise of his geekdom, or at least the image of it.

After about fifteen minutes had passed, he pulled into the parking lot of the city mall, also known as the place where all the popular kids shopped and hung out. 

You walked into the large, store-filled building with Jihoon trailing behind you. Pausing at the entrance, you thought about what you needed to do first. “New outfits,” you pondered out loud. You looked over at Jihoon who was mashing his lips together and you grabbed the edge of his shirt, pulling him with you to the first clothing store.

You deposited him in the middle of the store, near the dressing rooms. Jihoon stood there almost in awe as you swirled around the store, picking up different combinations of pants and shirts to create outfits for him to try on. He was already exhausted, and he hadn’t even tried anything on yet.

After what felt like forever, you returned, holding up multiple outfits for him. He sighed, something he was doing a lot when he was with you. “The sooner you try them on, the sooner we can be done,” you said, trying to sound motivating. Lucky for you, he knew you were right and took the hangers of clothes from you. He trudged into the dressing room and shut the door behind him.

You made him come out after every outfit, much to his annoyance. You rather enjoyed it, clapping and smiling for most of the outfits. You were proud of yourself for picking things out that made him look the perfect mix of sophisticated and casual. You gathered all the outfits that worked and brought them up to the checkout counter, once again with Jihoon trailing behind you. 

Coming to stand next to you, Jihoon went to take his wallet out of his pocket, but you grabbed his wrist to stop him. “Don’t worry about it. It was my idea for the makeover,” you said, handing money to the cashier as she placed his new clothes in a bag. She handed the bag to you.

“Are you sure?” Jihoon asked.

“I’m sure,” you confirmed, handing the bag of clothes over to him. As you pulled your hand away, your stomach let out a few grumbles. 

He let out an amused snort and said, “This place has a food court, right?” You nodded, and your stomach grumbled some more. “Let’s get some food then.” 

You led the way toward the center of the mall, where all the food smells were coming from and a few minutes later, the two of you sat across from each other at a table with pieces of pizza in front of you. Another memory with Jihoon crossed your mind as you chewed a piece of the cheesy slice. “You remember the time Seungkwan’s mom specially bought that only cheese pizza for him at your birthday party and when he fell asleep early, we ate it all?” you asked, a smirk gracing your face as you remembered your childhood antics.

“He was so mad. He didn’t talk to us for like a week and then hid his pizza the next time there was a party,” Jihoon laughed. It grew silent again after that, not exactly an awkward silence but not a comfortable one either. You were nearly done with your pizza when Jihoon asked another question. “This makeover doesn’t include other things, like cutting my hair or something?” 

You looked up at him. You looked at his slightly shaggy black hair and his bangs that lightly brushed over his forehead. You didn’t know what possessed you, but you reached forward and grazed you fingered through the ends of his hair. Your eyes locked and instead of the growling it had done earlier, your stomach did flip flops. You panicked slightly and abruptly pulled your hand away.  “No, I don’t think we need to change anything else..” you said, looking down at the table.

Before things could get weirder, you two finished eating and left the mall with your mission accomplished. 

The car was quiet as it sat in the driveway of your sorority and Jihoon wondered why you hadn’t taken your seatbelt off to get out of the car yet. You were struggling, debating whether you wanted to tell him something that you had thought about telling him for ages. What better time than to say it now, a day when you spent the most time with him than you had in years? 

“Listen, Jihoon…” you started in a bit of a solemn tone. He turned to look at you. “When your mom got sick, I just didn’t know what to do or how to feel. Then at her funeral, I wasn’t sure how to comfort you or even if I could. And then you started getting in trouble at school and hanging out with other people. I’m just…I’m sorry.” 

Jihoon gave a wry smile after listening to your whole blurted speech. “It’s okay, I get it,” he said. “I didn’t know what to do or how to feel either, and then eventually we became…enemies sorta?” 

You nodded. “How about we be, uh, frenemies now, I guess?”

He snorted at that. “Frenemies,” he agreed.

Eventually, you took off your seatbelt and opened the car door. Before you fully shut it, you peeked your head in to remind Jihoon of your next plans. “Remember, we should be seen together at the football game tomorrow and then at the diner with my friends after.” 

He cringed but said, “Okay, see you tomorrow then,” and you shut the car door before watching him pull out of the driveway.

A few hours before the football game you mentioned to Jihoon that you were in the journalism room with Jennie, Miyeon, and a few other girls who were part of the ball planning committee. You were trying to finalize the theme so that you could get started on getting the decorations. The ball was held at the same place every year, so you didn’t have to worry about that, at least. Everyone was set on their own idea for the theme, and no one could come to a decision, making you massage your temples in frustration. 

You were really regretting not grabbing that coffee before this meeting when the very thing you wanted appeared in front of you. A iced coffee was sat in front of you and you looked up to find Jihoon, looking nonchalant with his hands in his pockets like always. “Thanks. How did you know I was here?” you asked, surprised.

He shrugged. “I was here working in the editing room on something with Seungkwan and Wonwoo and saw you were still here. I thought you could probably use the caffeine.” You squinted at him before slowly taking a drink of the coffee, wondering if he had some sort of other motive. Then he leaned forward and whispered in your ear, “I’m just trying to make it look like we didn’t, you know, suddenly go from hating each other to dating. So, just go with it.”

Of course, there it was. He couldn’t have really just thought to bring it to you for no reason at all other than just because. You were supposed to be fake dating starting today, so he needed to make it look true. 

Arguing between Jennie and Miyeon brought you back to reality, and you sighed. “Guys!” you snapped, making them both stop midargument. “Look, it’s almost time for the game and we should be there. Let’s try and come to an agreement by next week. If that’s not possible, then I’ll be making the final decision, by myself,” you said. Miyeon looked surprised at your unusual forcefulness while Jennie just looked, well annoyed. 

You grabbed what was left of the coffee Jihoon brought you and him by the arm. “We should get over to the stadium,” you said and left the room with the others, wondering what was up with you, or more importantly you and him. 

“Okay, chill,” Jihoon said, pulling his arm back from you once you were in the hall.

“Sorry,” you said, letting him pull his arm back. You looked up at him, finally noticing that he was also wearing one of the outfits you had picked out the day before. You smiled at him.

“What?” he asked, wondering why the heck you were smiling at him like a weirdo in the middle of the hallway.

“I didn’t think you would be wearing the clothes yet,” you responded.

“I thought that was the deal? Now come on, let’s watch some stupid game and start this dating thing in front of your friends.” Jihoon grabbed your hand, leading you down the hall and out the door to head to the football stadium. Why was your heart feeling funny?

An hour later, Jihoon was sitting next to you in the bleachers complaining in your ear about how “all a football game is, is an excuse for dudes to touch other dudes' butts.” You rolled your eyes but couldn’t help but laugh. 

“Go, Fight, Win!” A chant had started in the stadium and was gaining more people with it. After about the third round of the chant, you joined, smirking at Jihoon. He looked at you chanting with your other friends that sat nearby and shook his head. You nudged him, smiling like a maniac. 

Rolling his eyes, he finally joined with a monotone, “Go, Fight, Win!” and a half-hazard fist pump in the air. Then something happened. Watching the game, feeling the excitement of the crowd, and seeing you sitting next to him, enjoying yourself; he thought maybe this wasn’t so bad, fun even. Next thing he knew, as the chant ended he was taking turns shouting insults at the refs with Mark and high-fiving him. 

You looked at him. It was peculiar. All that fuss and now he was fitting in like he had been a part of the group from the beginning. You couldn’t help but think that it could have been this way all along, as if you and Jihoon never had been enemies. 

After the game, you and Jihoon made an official new couple appearance at the diner your friends often frequented after games. You had barely sat down in the group booth with your food when Jennie pounced. “So after seeing you two together twice today, I need to ask. Are you two like a thing now?” she asked, pointing between the two of you. You nodded. Jennie gave a look of distaste. “How on earth did that happen?” 

“So, remember the night at Mingyu’s party when Johnny and I broke up and I got drunk, you called me a designated driver? Well, Jihoon had also called Wonwoo and was in the car too. It just sort of happened?” you explained. None of that was technically wrong at all, that was what happened. You just left out the part about the drunken phone call later and you know, the fact that it was fake. 

Jennie looked over at Jihoon, who had his mouth full of fries. “Yeah, pretty much,” Jihoon confirmed with his mouth full and Jennie gave a slightly disgusted look. Seeming satisfied with that answer, Jennie left it alone and conversation flowed around the table. Mark, Mingyu, and Jihoon were debating things about a video game and you found yourself smiling once again at the fact that they seemed to be getting along well.

Yet, your smile fell when you looked at the other side of the table to see Johnny and his new girlfriend making out. You didn’t know why, but tears were gathering at the corners of your eyes. “I’ll be right back, bathroom,” you mumbled. Jihoon heard the tone in your voice and the sheen in your eyes and was pulled from his video game conversation. He immediately saw what likely upset you, and decided he needed to do something about it when you came back.

In the bathroom, you splashed water on your face and hoped that would help regain your composure. You took a few deep breaths and made sure there was no trace of your sudden tear-up before heading back out to the table. As you sat back down next to Jihoon, he asked “Everything okay, babe?” He wrapped an arm over your shoulders pulling you close to him and placed a peck on your forehead. 

Babe? Your brain malfunctioned and you were frozen at Jihoon’s side. “Y/N….” he hissed in your ear and you broke from your stupor. “Oh, sorry. Yes, I’m good,” you answered. He must be doing this for show, to make it really look like you were dating and to make Johnny jealous, right? It had to be that, of course.

“So, you’re friends with DD Wonwoo, right?” Mark was asking Jihoon now.

“Yeah, we are friends. And it’s Wonwoo, not DD Wonwoo. Just Wonwoo,” he answered and you could hear irritation starting in his voice.

“Cool, you think he’d be down to be the designated driver for all our parties? We’ll pay.” Jihoon’s body tensed at the question.

“Okayyyyy,” you said the minute Mark finished his sentence, getting up and pulling Jihoon out of the booth with you. “It’s getting late and I’m tired. We’ll see you guys later,” you rushed out before dragging Jihoon out of the diner with you and leaving what was left of your food on the table.

“What the hell was that? Wonwoo has probably saved the lives of half those people in there and what? They just want to continue getting drunk off their rockers and think throwing money at him is compensation for that?” Jihoon was fuming. He was pacing back and forth in the parking lot, tugging his hand through his hair. 

“Jihoon…” you started. 

“Who do they think they are? Do they have no integrity? Did they trade their brains for being popular?” He continued to rant.

“Jihoon!” you said again, sharper this time.

“What?!” he shouted and you flinched slightly.

You didn’t know why, but you felt the urge to comfort him and calm him down. And to apologize even. You came up next to him, brushing his hand with yours, and said, “I’m sorry.” Jihoon’s breathing calmed down and his eyes met yours. “Endure it for me, please? I promise you and Wonwoo can do something mean to him the next time he’s drunk, okay?” you said. 

Jihoon cracked a smile at that. “Fine…” he responded and stalked over to the car so he could get the two of you back home.

You and Jihoon had made appearances at a few other things during the week, but as Friday approached there was actually one you were looking forward to the most. It was starting to get warmer, which meant some days were spent soaking up the sun at the river.

The ball’s committee had also taken your previous threat about choosing the theme on your own seriously and had finally come to a consensus. The theme was Moments in Time and you were looking forward to downtime with your friends before having to plan more for the ball. Maybe you were looking forward to downtime with Jihoon too. 

This time you were all riding with Mingyu in his jeep, floats and picnic supplies strapped to the utility bar on top of the vehicle. He had come to pick you up with everyone else in the car but Jihoon and he would be picked up last. Which meant that when Mingyu honked at Jihoon’s house, the only seat left in the car was in the backseat, squished in the middle next to you.

Squeezing in next to you, you became immediately aware of his bare legs pressing against your own. He was in the swim trunks you had picked out for him and a t-shirt, already prepared for the day's activities. “Ouch,” you said as he accidentally pinched your arm between him and the seat. 

“I’m sorry, is this better?” Jihoon asked, moving his arm over your shoulders so that you could settle next to him. 

You swallowed down the butterflies that were now becoming a common occurrence when you were with him. You were still doing everything you could to ignore them. It was just the proximity and situation making you feel that way. You didn’t actually like him. At least, that’s what you kept telling yourself. 

You didn’t dare speak words out loud, afraid it would come out garbled or as a squeak. You just nodded in response, the warming of your cheeks still threatening to give you away. Throughout the entire drive to the river, you were painfully aware of how much his body was touching yours.

When Mingyu pulled into the parking lot of the River Park, you nearly flung yourself out of the car causing both Jihoon and Jennie to look at you like you were insane. As the others got out of the car, you moved your attention to retrieving your things from the back. You grabbed your bag, which held a swim towel, sunscreen, and a few snacks.

More bags were grabbed, leaving the trunk area empty while Mark and Mingyu worked on getting the other things down from the rack on the roof. You waited until everything had been taken before walking down the path that led to the larger bank of the river. The area was a little rocky but many of the rocks were big enough to lay blankets and towels on. 

You spotted one big enough for multiple people to spread out on and it was also close enough to the river itself, which would make it easy to get in and out of the water. It was decided the girls would take the spot you found and the boys would hang out on the next one over. You spread your towel out, setting your bag near the front and slipping your sandals off on the other end to weigh it down before settling down on it in a cross-legged position.

Jennie and Miyeon put their things out next to you, while Jihoon was helping Mark and Mingyu set their chairs out on the other rock. You leaned backward on your hands, enjoying the sun on your face while chatting about things every once in a while with Jennie and Miyeon. You had tuned them out a little when Miyeon started talking about Mark’s sexual habits, comparing them with things Jennie’s many partners had done. Not only did you not want to know those things about Mark, but you didn’t really have anything to contribute since you and Jihoon obviously weren't on that level.

“Y/N? What about you and Jihoon?” Miyeon asked, bringing your attention back to the conversation. 

“Well….it’s a secret,” you answered, trying to be as elusive as possible so you didn’t have to try and come up with more lies than needed.

“Oh, come on, Y/N,” Jennie goaded. “You cleaned Jihoon up so nicely, I'm sure you’ve had a piece of that.”

You looked at your best friend in annoyance. “Jihoon is a private person, I’d rather not discuss our sex life,” you responded. Miyeon seemed to understand but the look on Jennie’s face was like she took your response as a challenge.

The boys were having a similar conversation over at their rock, with Mingyu bragging about his latest endeavors. Jihoon didn’t really understand the need to boast about the subject as if it were a competition. “But what about Y/N, though?” Mingyu asked, looking over at Jihoon.

“What about her?” Jihoon questioned.

“She’s hot. You’d be stupid not to get a little ‘something, something’ while dating her,” Mingyu continued.

Jihoon narrowed his eyes, “Even if I have, Y/N has feelings too and I’m not going to divulge her sex life without her permission.” 

“Okay, dude. I was just trying to make conversation,” Mingyu surrendered, putting his hands up as a white flag. 

Mark took that as a sign for him and Mingyu to grab some floaties and go hang out in the river. Jihoon had brought his walkman and slipped on the headphones, going into his own little music world. Miyeon and Jennie had grown quiet now and were tanning behind you.

After scooting forward on your towel, you stuck your feet in the cool river water and let yourself relax a bit. You looked over to find Mark and Mingyu having a war on the floaties, both trying to push the other off and into the water. You shook your head at their antics and moved your feet back and forth in the water, creating a calming effect for yourself.

You weren’t sure how long you were all hanging out there but eventually Mingyu mentioned that you should all get home and you started packing things up. You looked over to find Jihoon gone from his previous spot.

Your eyes wandered around the river bank area and you finally spotted him, playing with two younger kids. “Oh noooo, you got me,” you heard him exclaim in mock upset. The two kids were squirting him with water from the super soakers they each had, both giggling the more exaggerated Jihoon sounded. 

He moved, chasing them around and getting revenge with his own super soaker. You couldn’t help but smile at the pure joy you saw on his face as he played with them. He looked so at ease with them. You thought that maybe you really were starting to fall for him, but if you were then you couldn’t keep up this fake dating ruse. You promptly shook the thoughts from your head. 

“Come on Captain Kangaroo, our ride is leaving,” you shouted across the bank. He looked up at your voice and shot you a devastatingly adorable smile that showed off his dimples. He gave the water gun back to the kids and he ruffled their hair, telling them he had fun. 

He jogged to where you were, saying “Okay, let’s get going.” He picked up his things from the rock he and the boys were on earlier and the two of you headed back up the path to Mingyu’s jeep. All the items you had brought had been put back in the trunk and everyone was just waiting for you and Jihoon so you could head back home. You two were squished against each other again, in a similar position as on the way there. However, you weren’t paying attention to that part as much now that the scene of him playing with the kids earlier kept replaying in your head. Before you knew it, you all had been dropped off at your respective residences and it was time to settle down for the evening. 

Jihoon had just walked in the door when his dad appeared holding the house phone. “Ah, good timing. Jihoon just came in, Seungkwan. Here,” he said, holding the phone out for Jihoon to take. 

“Hey, Kwan. What’s up?” Jihoon said into the phone, bringing it up the stairs to his room with him. 

“The Pixies are playing at the bar tomorrow night. Come with Seokmin, Wonwoo, and I,” Seungkwan said.

“I don’t know. I think one of Y/N’s friends is having a party that we are supposed to go to.”

Seungkwan sighed heavily. “I wasn’t going to bring this up, but you’ve changed. You used to hang out with us, you know, your best friends, all the time and now you're always with Y/N and her group of populars. Are we not good enough for you anymore, Jihoon?” 

“Jesus, Seungkwan. No, I haven’t changed. I don’t like hanging out with them, I’m just there to make Y/N happy and somewhat get along with them.” Jihoon explained, annoyance tingeing his voice. 

“Whatever you say,” Seungkwan gave a flippant response.

“Tell you what, I’ll talk to Y/N and see if we can come with you guys to the concert instead. Okay?” Jihoon compromised.

“Fine, let me know later,” Seungkwan conceded.

“Okay, bye.” Jihoon hung up the phone and rubbed his hands over his face. He didn’t think he was changing at all. He wasn’t fitting in with that crowd, was he? He was only pretending so that you two could fake date, right? 

Jihoon picked the cordless phone back up from the bed where he flung it after saying goodbye to Seungwan and dialed your number.

“Hello?” your voice sounded from the other end.

“Hey,” Jihoon said.

“Jihoon? You usually don’t call me first,” you mentioned.

“I know, but I wanted to ask you something.”

“Okay…” you responded, a little confused.

“I know we are supposed to go to another party tomorrow but do you think we could do something with my friends instead? I feel like we only do things with your friends,” he complained.

You let out a rush of air. “Okay,” you agreed.

“Okay?” Jihoon asked, surprised you agreed that easily.

“Yeah, you’re right. And it seems weird for a couple to hang out with only one group of friends. Plus, they used to be my friends too…” you trailed off.

“Alright, then there’s a band we follow playing at a bar we go to. Seungkwan invited us and both Wonwoo and Seokmin will be there too. I can come get you at 5 pm tomorrow,” he told you.

“Sounds good. Hey, today was kind of nice wasn’t it?” you asked, a smile on your face as you remembered.

“Yeah, it was kind of nice,” Jihoon admitted and you both hung up the phone.

Even though it was a Saturday afternoon, Jihoon found himself on campus in the broadcasting room. Seungkwan and Wonwoo were there earlier too but Jihoon wanted to finish editing the music video they had been working on. They had gone to get lunch and would be back later. 

It wasn’t that he was in a real hurry to finish it exactly, but he tended to immerse himself in his projects when he felt unsettled about something. He wasn’t even sure what he was specifically feeling weird about. Was it the fact that he really seemed to be getting along with your friends? Or was it that his heart seemed to speed up every time he caught your eyes yesterday?

All that could be heard in the room was the clicking of the mouse as he edited, thoughts swirling in his head. He was so distracted that he didn’t even realize that Wonwoo and Seungkwan had come back and that it was three hours later. He was brought back to reality as Seungkwan snapped his fingers in front of his face, literally snapping him out of whatever trance he was in. “Hellooooo, Jihoon,” Seungwan said, trying to get his attention. 

“Oh, sorry, Kwan,” Jihoon responded and turned around in the computer chair he was sitting in. 

“We should probably leave so we can all get ready for the concert tonight with Seok,” Wonwoo mentioned.

“Did you ask your girlfriend? Are you coming?” Seungkwan asked with a hint of bitterness.

“Actually, yeah. Y/N was kind of excited about it, so we’ll be there,” Jihoon said, ignoring Seungkwan’s tone.

Rather than getting into another heated discussion about whether Jihoon was acting like himself or not, Seungkwan and Wonwoo left and so did Jihoon after finishing the last bit of video editing. He went back home to get ready in another outfit you had chosen that day at the mall before going to pick you up. A few hours later, he was waiting in the car outside your dorm like he had multiple times before.

Jihoon drummed his fingers on the steering wheel along with the beat of the song that was on the radio as he waited for you. He was pretty into it and didn’t see when you had come out of the house. You grinned as you slowly approached the car. Jihoon had been into music when you were younger and it was nice to know he truly hadn’t changed much despite everything that happened. “Okay drummer boy, I’m here. We should leave,” you said, making him jump slightly at your voice before he unlocked the passenger side for you to get in.

“So what band are we going to see?” you asked when Jihoon had pulled out onto the road that would take you to the bar.

“The Pixies. Wonwoo found them one time when he was DD’ing and went to pick Seokmin up at the bar one time. They showed Seungkwan and me the next time they played and we liked them too, so we try to catch them every time they play there.” Jihoon explained and you could tell how much he liked the band.

“Hmm, okay. Well I’m excited to hang out with you guys, to see Seungkwan, and to get to know Wonwoo and Seokmin even more,” you said and you really were. You wanted to catch a glimpse of what Jihoon had been like for the period of time you didn’t know him. He hummed in acknowledgment. It was quiet for a few minutes before you spoke again. “Hey, do I..look okay? I’ve actually never been to this kind of thing before..” you asked, feeling a little nervous.

Jihoon looked a little surprised, but then again seeing a girl punk rock band at a hole-in-the-wall bar was not exactly your scene. Eventually, he scanned your outfit, taking in the dark jeans and nice shirt you were wearing. “Yeah, you look nice,” he responded. He was probably just being polite but you noticed he was also wearing something similar, making you wonder why you spent so much time trying to find the right outfit in the first place. 

He pulled into the parking lot of the bar and parked next to a car that was familiar to you at this point, Wonwoo’s. You followed behind him as he walked into the bar and scanned the area for his friends. “Jihoon! Y/N!” you heard someone shout over the band that was already playing. You walked with Jihoon to where Seungkwan had shouted from, in the middle of a crowd standing somewhat near the stage. It got louder the closer you got to where Seungkwan, Seokmin, and Wonwoo were.

“Hey, boys!” you greeted them over the music. 

“Hey, Y/N,” Seungkwan said when you got closer. Wonwoo gave a small wave and Seokmin flashed a smile.

“I’m going to grab some drinks from the bar. Want anything?” Jihoon asked you all.

“Martini for me, please,” Seungkwan said.

“Suprise me,” came Seokmin’s response.

“I’m driving, of course, so just club soda?” Wonwoo asked.

Jihoon looked over at you, waiting for your order. “Rum and coke?” you asked. Jihoon did not expect that from you. He figured you’d want something more fancy like Seungkwan wanted.

“Okay, be back soon then,” Jihoon said and he disappeared into the crowd.

You turned your attention to the stage in front of you that had since grown quiet, guessing that the band that was playing when you walked in was the opener for who you were really here to see. You were making small talk with the three boys while waiting for the main event and for Jihoon to come back. As you had noticed before, Wonwoo was quiet but funny and had quite a knack for video editing. Seokmin was bright, adding a lightness to their group. You talked with Seungkwan about your junior high days when you, Jihoon, and he made up a trio. You remembered those days fondly and definitely noticed how wary Seungkwan was when talking about that part of your shared past.

Before you could address that, the crowd started cheering and colored lights were starting to shine on the stage as a group of girls came on stage with their instruments. They looked amazing. The girl in front had her hair teased in a high pony and wore silver pants that matched the glittering tank top of the girl drummer behind her. She picked up a guitar and started playing a riff that must have been from one of their well-known songs, judging by the howling in the crowd. As the song continued to play, you realized you liked it. The punk aspect was not something you would not have normally picked, but it made you feel something.

Jihoon was still waiting for your drinks over at the bar and was turned around to watch the stage. His eyes were automatically drawn to where you were, finding you with your eyes glued to the stage and complete joy written on your face. He watched as you got closer to the stage, starting to jump up and down with the music. He honestly couldn’t take his eyes off of you. “Here you go,” the bartender said from behind him, setting the drinks on the bar top. Jihoon grabbed them all, balancing them in his hands and set off back into the crowd with an amused smile on his lips.

He wove back through all the people, stopping to give his friends their drinks before moving forward in the crowd to where you were standing. The song was finishing as he reached you and you screamed and clapped for the band, making Jihoon laugh at how much you were actually enjoying this. He tapped you on the shoulder and you turned, the look on your face probably the happiest he had seen recently.

“Your drink,” Jihoon said, passing the glass to you.

“Thank you,” you said, taking it from him and giving it a light sip before turning your attention to the next song. You began bouncing up and down to the beat of the new song, as much as you could without spilling your drink. Jihoon thought you were cute like this. 

He stood there enjoying the music with you, his own drink in hand until you heard Wonwoo let out an “Ah, shit,” somewhere behind you. 

“What’s wrong?” Jihoon questioned. 

“She’s here,” Wonwoo responded.

“Who?” you asked, confused. 

You followed Jihoon’s line of sight before you spotted who and he spoke her name. “Shayla.” She had a guy hanging off her, which you could only assume was the one she cheated on Jihoon with. You watched as they acted all lovey-dovey, making Jihoon look positively miserable. Her eyes crossed paths with Jihoon and you could only think of one thing to do, you kissed him. 

You made out with him to be exact, tongue and all. You couldn’t bear how hurt he looked, couldn’t stand the fact that Shayla was looking at him like she still cared. Jihoon didn’t know how he should respond other than to let you continue kissing him. You kept sneaking peeks at Shayla out of the corner of your eye as you kept making out with him. Eventually, Shayla looked away with a bit of a sneer and pulled her boy toy to another area of the bar. 

You pulled away from Jihoon and said, “Sorry, I was just returning the favor.” He had rescued you in a similar way, albeit a tamer way, that night at the dinner when your ex was there. You took it a little further than intended but you were just making it even, weren’t you? 

“Uh, thanks?” Jihoon responded, a light blush warming his cheeks and he rubbed the back of his neck with his hand. This was not a reaction you expected from him or even one you thought he could have. It was actually pretty adorable. You tried not to think about it. You didn’t see it because you were too focused on the boy you weren’t supposed to like, but Wonwoo and Seungwan shared a look. 

“They are about to play the next song,” you said, trying to redirect attention back to the band and the stage. Jihoon only nodded, not knowing what else to say after that. You let the music take away thoughts of whatever feelings you might be starting to have for your fake boyfriend and by the time the concert was over, you had buried them deep in your mind once again.

In the parking lot of the bar, you said goodbye to Seungkwan, Wonwoo, and Seokmin before you got in the car with Jihoon to go home. It was a little awkward again before Jihoon turned the radio on. (You Drive Me) Crazy by Britney Spears came on and he groaned before he reached over to change the station. “Aw come on, Ji. Leave it there,” you whined before starting to sing along to the song. He grimaced at you but pulled his hand away from the dash, leaving the song on. “You drive me craaaazzzyyy, I just can’t sleep!” you sang loudly and badly on purpose. You poked your elbow into Jihoon’s side, trying to get him to sing with you as you continued with the lyrics.

After a few harder nudges Jihoon belted out, “Baby, thinking of you keeps me up all night”. You gasped, putting your hand over your mouth. You didn’t think you’d actually get him to sing it with you. He continued driving with the two of you singing the rest of the song and giggling like maniacs, Jihoon showing a smile genuine enough that the dimples you only saw one other time appeared. You found yourself having fun more often with Jihoon and spending time with him was beginning to feel more and more natural, like you never parted ways to begin with.

Once again, you found yourself in the journalism room working on things for the ball. More specifically, the decorations. This time you were by yourself, there was yet another party happening tonight and the others left you so they could get Jennie’s house ready since she was hosting this time. Honestly, you didn’t mind and felt like you could get more things done without Jennie’s constant nitpicking. 

You were looking at a few different options for string lights when someone you didn’t expect to see walked in. Shayla. “Um, Mrs. Rathburn asked me to bring you the posters you had printed from the big office printer,” she said, showing the large posters she held in her arms.

“Oh, thanks for bringing them. You can set them over there,” you responded, gesturing toward the bigger table next to you. Shayla set them where you indicated and started toward the door but hesitated, turning back around. She looked like she wanted to say something to you. “Was there anything else?” you prompted.

She pondered for a moment before saying,” He seems happier with you.” You were sure what to say when she continued. “He never wanted to go places with me, never wanted to stop by the lab to see me, not the way he does with you.” 

The way she said it struck a chord with you. You knew she was a medical science major and worked in the chem lab a lot but it didn’t occur to you before and obviously, she didn’t know either. “He didn’t tell you about his mother, did he?” you asked. The confused look on Shayla’s face confirmed your suspicions. “His mother died when we were younger…of cancer. So you can imagine why he wouldn’t want to be around medicine and labs.”

Now she had a shocked look on her face, mixed with something like pity. “I didn’t know. Well, I hope he continues to be happy with you,” she said as she turned back around and walked out of the room. For once, you felt a little sorry for Shayla but fake or not, Jihoon was with you now. You sighed and got up from the chair you were sitting in, pulling the posters closer to you so you could examine them to make sure they had been printed properly. They looked good and you were glad that nothing was wrong with them. 

A few minutes later, Jihoon walked through the same classroom door that Shayla walked out of. “Hey, how's it going in here?” he asked casually. 

You shrugged, “It’s going. But, what are you doing here? You didn’t bring me coffee this time.” You grinned, enjoying being able to give him a hard time now without it turning into a big deal. 

“Wow, see if I ever bring you coffee again..” he teased back. “Anyway, I was working with Seungkwan on some AV stuff for the school news show and thought I’d stop by. It was strange though, I passed by Shayla in the hall and she was acting oddly nice to me.” 

“Huh, weird,” you said. There was no way you were going to tell him that you told her about his mother. He must have had a reason for not telling her, although some part of you was relieved he hadn’t.

“So, how do you feel about having dinner at my house before we go to Jennie’s party? My dad invited you. I think he’s noticed how close we’ve gotten again,” he asked, looking a little sheepish.

“I’d like that,” you responded, the corners of your lips turning up at the thought of Mr. Lee making Jihoon ask you over. You gathered all the things you were working on, organizing them so they made sense when you went to work on them again and left the room to go home with Jihoon.

You had really only been just inside of the door of Jihoon’s house since you reconnected. It felt weird going past the dining room threshold as you followed him into the kitchen, even though as a child you had been in every room in the house. It was a reminder of how things truly had changed after his mom died. 

Yet, the sight of Mr. Lee in the kitchen and the familiar smell of his famous Yangnyeom chicken transported you right back to those times when you and Jihoon would get called in for dinner when you had been playing outside or doing homework together. Mr. Lee turned around after plating the chicken. “Glad you could join us, Y/N! I had to practically beg Jihoon to ask you,” he beamed, walking into the dining room to set the large plate on the table.

“Thank you for inviting me Mr. Lee,” you said, politely as you took a seat in one of the chairs at the dining table. 

“At least I didn’t have to drag you two inside from the treehouse,” he said with a laugh and you found it ironic that he remembered that as well. 

Your eyes shifted to sliding doors on the other side of the dining room, looking out into the backyard to see if the treehouse still existed. “It’s still there..” you murmured as you made out the familiar wood walls poking out the only large tree still in the yard.

“Of course it is! Jihoon kept it up all these years and made sure no nail or board came out of place,” Mr. Lee exclaimed rather proudly. You looked over at Jihoon who was doing his best not to look at you. You thought it would have been destroyed by now. Jihoon’s actions lately were already confusing, but the fact that he had preserved the treehouse all this time confused you even more. 

The rest of dinner went well, it was comforting that it felt almost the same as it did when you were young. Well, minus a major person, but you tried your best not to think about that. You and Jihoon were helping Mr. Lee clean up when he glanced at the clock on the wall. “We should think about heading to the party now,” he said.

“I got the rest of this. You crazy kids go have fun at the party,” Mr. Lee said, basically telling the two of you to skedaddle already.

“Don’t wait up,” Jihoon joked, following you out of the kitchen and back into the front room.

Since you were busy enough today, you chose an outfit when you got ready this morning that would translate well from everyday to party. It’s not like you were the host or like it was that special of an event, plus you were willing to bet something would be spilled on it by the end of the night anyway. 

“Let me change into something more suitable and I’ll be right back,” Jihoon said to you. You nodded and sat on the bottom of the stairs to wait for him. Five minutes later, he came down the stairs looking effortless and amazing at the same time. Once again, making it hard for you to ignore the ever-annoying butterflies that filled your stomach. 

“Let’s get going, we don’t want to be late,” you mumbled, turning your attention back to the front door.

The party was already in full swing when you arrived and you narrowly avoided being mowed over by Mingyu and Mark playing some sort of drunk game involving a soccer ball the minute you and Jihoon walked into Jennie’s house. You took Jihoon’s hand in yours as you wove through people, telling yourself it was so that you didn’t lose him in the crowd but you couldn’t help but feel like they fit together.

You made your way into the center of the house where more things seemed to be going on when you caught the sound of the familiar voices of your friends in the backyard. Jennie was already drunk, laughing loudly as she swayed her hips to the music blasting from speakers on either side of the yard. “There you guys areeeeeeee,” Jennie exclaimed, her words sounding slightly slurred which gave a bit of an indication of how much alcohol she’d had so far. 

You stifled a laugh as Miyeon gave you a look that essentially said “help me” as she lightly sipped on the drink she had while keeping an eye on Jennie. Mark suddenly appeared, without Mingyu this time. “Yoooo, Jihoon. Come be my partner, Mingyu got too drunk and I need someone who actually has hand-eye coordination,” he said, trying to rope Jihoon into whatever hair-brained game they had been playing. 

Mark dragged him off before he could protest, leaving you with just the girls. “You know, I wasn’t sure about Jihoon in the beginning, but the makeover he had really suits him well. If you weren’t dating him, I would be all over that,” Jennie babbled, the multiple drinks in her system acting like an unwanted truth serum. You felt a hint of animosity toward her, and you had to keep telling yourself that you shouldn’t be. You weren’t dating for real, but in principle, it was since nobody else knew that. 

To make it easier to resist the urge to strangle Jennie, you excused yourself and went to get a drink from the bar on the other side of the patio that you assumed Jennie paid to be there. Walking up to the bartender, you ordered something that tasted good but wouldn’t get you blasted immediately. A few seconds wait and you thanked the bartender, taking your drink from him. You turned around, maybe to go find where Mark dragged Jihoon off to when you found yourself face to face with your ex.

“Oh, Y/N. I was actually looking for you,” Johnny said. He was just passing by but he was clearly looking for someone. You, apparently. 

“Um, okay…didn’t you come with your new girlfriend?” you asked, confused as to why he was looking for you when he seemed so infatuated with the girl the last time you had seen him.

“Well, that’s kind of why I was looking for you. Let’s find a quieter place to talk,” he motioned to some chairs that sat out off the side of the patio where fewer people were milling around. You sat down in one and he sat in the one across from you.

“So, what did you want to talk about?” you questioned, not exactly interested but he did specifically seek you out.

“I know you are with Jihoon now, but I was wondering if I could take you to the dance?” Johnny asked, with what he thought might be a convincing smile on his face. You choked on your drink. He couldn’t be serious. The very thing you had wanted before everything got messy and he was asking you now?

“But what about your girlfriend?” you inquired.

“She broke up with me, said she found someone new,” he shrugged. You snorted. Ironic wasn’t it? She broke up with him for nearly the same reason he broke up with you.

“Once upon a time, all I ever wanted was for you to take me to the ball I planned. But you know what? I’m not the same person as I was all those months ago and I’m with Jihoon now. Go find some other poor sucker to go with you because I won’t,” you responded and you knew it was true. You weren’t the same person anymore. You could care less about being popular. All you cared about was being yourself. And being with Jihoon.

Johnny looked stunned, “Damn, Jihoon is a lucky guy.” You felt that was your cue to leave and you had to go to the bathroom anyway. So you left Johnny there and went inside to search for the restroom. You walked back into the house through the sliding door and were headed down the hall when you saw it, saw them. 

Jennie was talking with Jihoon when suddenly you saw her lips meet his. You didn’t know what was happening and your face crumpled. Immediately, you knew that the feelings you were trying to suppress for Jihoon couldn’t be covered up anymore. Jennie broke free of the kiss with a smirk, turning Jihoon around by his shoulders so that his eyes would meet yours. “Bitch,” you murmured, a sob trying to break free from your chest.

Jihoon’s eyes widened as they met yours. “Y/N, wait!” he shouted, a pleading tone bleeding into it. You didn’t want to hear it. This whole thing was fake anyway. You ignored him and stormed out the front door, not caring where you were going. You just needed out of there. Jennie’s house wasn’t that close to the dorm, but it didn’t matter. You wanted to walk anyway.

You did eventually make it back to the dorm, you didn’t know how long it took you and you didn’t care. Everything was ruined and you felt the most pathetic that you had ever been. You retreated to your room and the warmth of your bed, wanting to never leave it. You should have never come up with this idea if you knew it would turn out this way. You weren’t supposed to fall for your ex-best friend, your enemy.

Jihoon was also miserable, perhaps on a different and newfound level. He thought he was in a bad way when he broke up with Shayla, but it was nothing like the way he felt after Jennie tricked him. Nothing like the way his heart cracked when he saw your face and the way your chin trembled when you saw the kiss and nothing like when he called out to you, only for you to ignore him and walk out the door. 

He thought he might have loved Shayla when they were together, but he was so wrong. He loved you and it took losing you to finally realize it, to admit it to himself. He didn’t know what he was supposed to do now, but the most immediate solution was to numb the pain. He knew Wonwoo would come get him anyway, and so he drank. He drank a lot. Likely more than he ever had.

He drank so much that he didn’t even know how time moved forward and transported him to where he was now, outside, throwing his guts up in Jennie’s front garden. He must have called Wonwoo at some point, he most certainly didn’t remember doing it but Wonwoo was suddenly standing there in the yard, waiting to see if Jihoon’s stomach was done forcing out whatever contents were left. 

Wonwoo didn’t have much sympathy for his friend at this point. “How does it feel Jihoon? Being part of the popular crowd?” he mocked. 

“Shut up, Wonwoo,” Jihoon croaked, slowly getting up from his kneeling position in the grass to slowly tread toward Wonwoo’s car. Jihoon all but melted into the backseat once the two of them were both in the car, his head already starting to pound. 

“You really screwed up, you know,” Wonwoo said, once the car was on the way to Jihoon’s house. 

“How do you know what happened?” Jihoon mumbled the question

“You know how fast news travels around here,” he responded.

“Considering everyone was at the party, I’m not surprised.” Wonwoo slammed on the brakes, making Jihoon fall forward and smack his nose on the seat in front of him. “Ow, what the hell Wonwoo?!” he yelped, hands moving to his face to touch his now tender nose.

“Everybody was NOT there, Jihoon! Seungkwan and I weren’t there, Seokmin wasn’t there, so no, everybody was not at the party,” Wonwoo nearly growled. 

“Okay, sheesh. Everybody was not there,” Jihoon conceded, given his growing headache and the fact that Wonwoo so rarely yelled. 

“Get out,” Wonwoo said and Jihoon was about to protest when he looked out of the window to see that they had actually stopped outside his house. “Call me when you’ve decided to return back to being the friend I know.” 

Jihoon couldn’t respond, he didn’t have a decent answer for that. He just got out of the car, went into the house, and flopped face-first onto his bed. He did know that Wonwoo was right though, he royally fucked up. The only thing he could think about was talking to you, to see if there was a way to convince you of what truly happened with Jennie. 

He rolled back to his side, reaching his arm out to grab the phone from the nightstand. He didn’t know how late it was but prayed you’d still answer the phone. He punched in your number and waited as it rang and rang. He was just about to give up when a tired “hello?” answered. 

“Please let me explain,” Jihoon said, immediately. 

You sighed. “It doesn’t matter. It was crazy to think we could fake it this long, this is our easy out,” you responded, trying to keep your voice from breaking and giving you away. 

“What about the dance? That was the main goal of this whole thing,” he said. Jihoon knew that wasn’t why he wanted to keep this ruse going but it was all he could think to try.

“I’ll figure something out. Or maybe I won’t go at all. Let’s just go back to how things were before.” Tears were starting to slip down your cheeks now and you hung up the phone before Jihoon could hear the sob that left your chest.

After the party, days and weeks continued on but you and Jihoon were not the same. Jihoon spaced out often, going about his days in a trance. He even ignored Shaya’s renewed and constant advances on him. He didn’t want anyone else but you. Wonwoo had seen how depressed Jihoon was and took pity on him, letting everything that happened between the two of them that night go. You threw yourself into ball planning which was ironic considering you likely wouldn’t even be attending anymore and Jihoon spent more time editing in the broadcasting room, only being pulled out by his friends. 

You had all but stopped hanging out with all your “friends”, only working with them for the ball because you had to. Everything felt like a blur. You had confronted Jennie shortly after the night of the party, her only excuse being “I was doing you a favor.” Maybe in some way she really was, just not in the way she intended. Your relationship with Jihoon may have started out as a fake one but now your feelings were real and you needed to stop before they destroyed you both.

When the night of the ball came around, you found yourself in your dorm room with no date and crying once again. The dress you had picked out long ago to match the tux you had helped Jihoon pick out was hung on the back of your door, mocking you. Maybe you should go by yourself, it would be weird if the planner herself didn’t attend. You brushed the tears from your cheeks and shook your head. That was enough of that, crying and feeling sorry for yourself wouldn’t change anything.

Then your phone rang. “Hello?” you answered.

“Y/N? Hi,” spoke a voice that was vaguely familiar but not one you’d heard over the phone.

“Seungkwan?” you questioned.

“Yeah, it’s Seungkwan. Listen, I know you probably don’t have a date to the ball anymore and I think it would be a shame if you couldn’t go. You deserve to see your event finished so, how about I take you?” Seungkwan said.

For the first time since the night of the party, a genuine smile crossed your face. Seungkwan had always been the sweetest person you’d known, even after you all had parted ways as kids. “I’d like that,” you responded.

“Okay, cool. I can come pick you up in an hour. Will that be enough time to get ready?” he asked 

“Sure, see you soon,” you said, hanging up the phone and scrambling to start getting ready. That gave you an answer to your earlier thoughts of just going to the ball by yourself. You were much happier going with Seungkwan, someone you knew you’d have some fun with. You pulled your dress from where you had been glaring at it earlier, glad that it was no longer going to waste. You grabbed shoes that went with it from your closet and got ready as efficiently as you could.

You were smoothing out the bottom of your dress and making sure the last strands of your hair were in place when one of your dorm mates called up the stairs to let you know Seungkwan was there. You picked up the light sweater and small purse you had set out on a chair and walked down the stairs to meet Seungkwan. 

He smiled as he spotted you and said, “You look great.”

“Thanks. You don’t look so bad yourself,” you said back. His simple black tuxedo made him look handsome. You reached the bottom of the stairs and he pulled something out from behind his back, showing it to you.

“It was short notice, but this is for you,” Seungkwan said, holding out a pretty wrist corsage. 

You let out a pleased laugh and held out your wrist so that he could slip it on, the white rose simple but pretty. “Thank you, that was sweet of you.” 

“Of course, I can't let my best girl feel left out,” he said with a chuckle. 

Immediately you were thankful for at least one good thing that came out of all of this. You had a good friend in Seungkwan once again. “Let’s go,” you said and you headed to the dance.

Walking in the doors of the venue you rented, you took in everything. Seungkwan was right, you shouldn’t miss how everything you planned had come together. From the centerpieces on the tables to the twinkle lights winding around the beams in the ceiling, everything you had imagined and planned out. It looked perfect. There was only one thing missing, but there was nothing you could do about that anymore.

You and Seungkwan sat down for a little while at one of the tables, talking about different things and people watching before he asked you to dance. He got up from his seat, holding out his hand for you to take. You took it and he led you to the dance floor. Stopping at an empty spot toward the edge, he placed his hands on your back and you wrapped your arms around his neck. You began swaying to the music the DJ was playing. It was nice and comfortable but of course, it was only platonic with Seungkwan.

“Jihoon really likes you, you know,” he said eventually. You sighed, knowing this topic would come up eventually. Seungkwan cared about both of you. “And I know you like him too.” He continued, recounting how bleak the two of you had been in the past weeks.

“I know Seungkwan, but everything is all messed up now,” you said. 

“Well, now is your chance to fix it,” he suddenly said, looking up at something or rather someone.

“What?” you asked, confused.

“May I cut in?” A voice asked from behind you. You let out a small gasp. Jihoon?

Seungkwan’s hands left your back and he pressed a light kiss to your cheek, leaving you and Jihoon on the dance floor. You looked at Jihoon. He was wearing the tuxedo you picked out to match your dress and looked as handsome as ever. He approached you, gently placing his hands around your waist and you let your hands rest at the nape of his neck. Your fingers lightly brushed at the ends of his shaggy hair that you liked so much.

You danced a bit to the slow song that was on before you broke the tension between the two of you. “Why are you here, Jihoon?” you asked.

“Because I missed you. God, I missed you so much,” he blurted, pulling you closer to him. Your heart panged at his words. You missed him too and you knew that you didn’t want to pretend your feelings for him didn’t exist. 

“I missed you too,” you murmured.

“I’m so sorry about what happened with Jennie. I swear she tricked me but that’s not what matters. I like you, Y/N. I think I’ve always liked you, before everything got so messed up.” He was on a roll now, telling you all that was on his mind and everything he should have told you from the beginning when you both agreed to that stupid fake dating plan.

Your face broke out into a grin. “I like you, too.” Jihoon must have been holding his breath, because he let out a rush of air in relief at your response. “I asked Jennie why she did what she did and she told me she was doing us a favor. I guess in some way, she really did.”

Then Jihoon reached out a hand to cup your cheek, his eyes looking into yours before he leaned forward to press his lips against yours. There were no fireworks, but something much better as you kissed him back. Warmth. A warmth that radiated through your entire body and you couldn’t have imagined anything better. 

You broke away after a few minutes, becoming aware that several eyes were on the two of you. Specifically the eyes of Jennie, Johnny, Mark, Miyeon, and a few of the others. “Who are we making jealous now, Jihoon?” you laughed.

“Everyone,” was his response and he kissed you again, making everything around you disappear. 

“Wanna get out of here?” you asked.

“I have just the place in mind,” he answered, cheekily and the two of you left hand in hand.

After the dance, you came bursting through the gate to Jihoon’s backyard, giggling like you were little kids again. The only difference was now Jihoon kept pausing to kiss you every few minutes as he led you to the treehouse. He pulled you with him up the ladder and into the familiar house. Except that instead of just the pillows and the small table that you remember being there before, there were blankets and lit candles set out in the corners.

“Did you plan this?” you asked, suspicious.

“I had hoped?” he responded, innocently. 

You shook your head, “You’re lucky I like you.”

“I am very lucky.”

“If I knew you were going to be this cheesy-” He cut you off with another kiss and led you over to the blankets that were laid out in the middle of the wooden floor. He sat down, pulling you to sit with him. He initiated a make-out session that began innocently but was now starting to get heated. He leaned backward, laying back against the blankets and making you lay on top of him.

His kisses moved to your jaw and to your collarbone making you let out a gasp and thread your hands through his dark locks. All the pent-up feelings and chemistry that had built up between you was finally reaching a breaking point, in your childhood hangout no less. Your hands made work with his clothes, taking off his jacket and working on the buttons of his shirt. He pulled the straps of your dress down your shoulders when you finally managed to rid him of the annoying button-down.

To make it easier for him, you straightened your back so he could pull the entire thing up and over your head. You were left in just your underwear and Jihoon paused to look at you before taking off his dress pants. “You are gorgeous,” he whispered, pressing light kisses to your shoulders. You closed your eyes, reveling in the feeling of being loved on by him.

Soon you both had been rid of all remaining garments, leaving you completely naked and hands roaming each other's bodies. Jihoon’s length pressed against your thighs, making you moan at the skin contact and buck against him. He hissed in pleasure and bit his lip, the action increasing the arousal at your core. He moved to grind his head against your sensitive nub and you let out a whine. 

After a few minutes of that, you couldn’t stand it anymore. You needed him inside you. “Jihoon…” you breathed out.

“Yes?” he asked.

“Please,” you whimpered.

He reached over to his discarded pants to get the little foil packet from the pocket. He opened it and slid the condom over his cock with a hiss. He steaded your hips and ran his length through your folds a few times before he slowly slid into you, letting you adjust to his size.

“Fuck,” he let out a groan as your heat engulfed him. He began moving slowly within you. Your sacred childhood treehouse was now filled with lewd slaps of skin against skin and moans filled with pleasure. You established a rhythm that had you both slowly chasing your highs together. Your moans had turned to mewls as the coil in the pit of your stomach was stretching to its limit. 

“I’m close, Ji,” you whimpered. The use of Jihoon’s nickname drove him to the edge as well and he pumped into you that much harder. The coil snapped and you orgasmed, hard enough that your thighs shook. Your walls contracting around him made Jihoon hit his high as well. His hips stilled and he let out a groan, emptying his seed into the condom.

He slowly pulled out of you and you both collapsed next to each other on the blankets with heaving breaths. After a few minutes and your breathing had returned to normal, Jihoon turned to look at you, his head resting on his shoulder. “So, frienemies?” he asked with a chuckle. 

You reached out and smacked him in the chest. “Jihoon!”

“Ouch, I’m kidding. I know we are more than that. So much more than that,” he said, tugging you closer to him and leaving a kiss on your forehead. 

“Yes, absolutely more than that,” you agreed. Jihoon drove you crazy, but you came to the conclusion that you didn’t want it any other way.

©️wooahaeproductions

All works on this blog are protected under copyright. Do not repost, continue, or translate my works.

[loonybun]

Meeting Aisling (CYOA) 2

sorry i am a VERY slow writer and work on bursts of inspiration and writing sprints so this took FOREVER to write. anyways here it is.

contains: more fae shenanigans, implied magical manipulation, exhaustion, fae carewhumper, invasion of personal space, abduction, The Horrors (fun stuff because my canon doesn’t 100% follow traditional folklore as i like to add things in), just creepy vibes but i’m sure everything will be fine and he’s actually 100% harmless. most definitely!!!

—————————————————

“A photographer?”

He lights up and grabs onto your hands. Almost immediately, he lets go, but the fuzzy sensation dwells on your palm. The strange man continues on.

“That’s not something you hear everyday! I don’t know a ton about photography, but I may have seen some of your… Your picture-things! I never caught your name, actually. Would you mind giving that to me really quick?”

You can’t place why, but words send a shudder down your spine. Somewhere deep in your mind an alarm rings.

He’s still a stranger. You don’t give out your name to strangers. That’s just common sense. Sure, he seems friendly enough, but better safe than sorry. Instead, you give him the handle you use for your photography. That’s probably the main reason he was asking, anyway.

He’s obviously disappointed, but you decide to ignore the guilt. There’s an awkward silence before he speaks up again.

“—Well, follow me. Let’s get you somewhere safer, okay? You can call me Ai, by the way, but not like the ones you see with. Weird little nickname, but it’s what most people call me anyways. Unless we want to be formal with each other, but that doesn’t really seem necessary.”

His enthusiasm returns, and before you know it you’re practically chasing him through the dark forest. It’s hard to catch up with the way he deftly darts from tree to tree. You can hear him laugh as you fail to match his pace, and the sound echoes through the forest like the chimes of crystal bells, bouncing off of the trees.

Eventually, you manage to run up to him. He’d stopped to wait for you, and now he was sitting in the grass, grinning up at you strangely. The exhaustion overwhelms any urge to find the source of your anxiety. You’re still trying to catch your breath, and you soon find yourself down beside him. Ai pats the top of your head, patiently waiting for you to regain your strength.

“…The grass here seems so much softer. You don’t know why, do you? That’s okay. We’ll find out soon.” He murmurs, combing through your hair with nimble fingers. “Do you have your camera? You should take a picture-thing. This is a nice little spot. You probably won’t be able to find it again.”

You hadn’t even noticed, too concentrated on the soothing tones in his voice. You’d nearly fallen asleep right there. Oh god, you just cuddled up to a complete stranger. After a moment, you pull your thoughts together and focus on the area around you.

There’s still no signs of the campsites, but the area he’s brought you to feels safe all the same. Moonbeams stream in through gaps in the canopy above. The white light pours onto the plants around, casting them all into an ethereal state. You take your camera out of your bag and turn it on, eagerly looking at the screen—

But something’s wrong. Pink ebbs into the edges of the screen, and the middle keeps splitting into bars. You point the camera around in an effort to reset it. Ai curiously watches you struggle, that same odd smile still placed on his lips. For a moment, the camera pans over to him— or what should have been him. The bars on the screen seem to multiply and crack, barely obscuring something unfathomable and buglike. You look at the terrifyingly beautiful entity on the screen, then back to him. You hadn’t noticed his teeth before. They really shouldn’t be that sharp, should they?

“Is something wrong?” His voice still sounds so sweet. It makes you feel woozy. Sick. That thing wasn’t human. Where were you? The woods hadn’t even began to thin out. Had he taken you further in?

You shake your head, but you must have taken too long to respond. Once again, he’s by your side, a hand on your shoulder and the other positioned in front of the lens. He’s not smiling anymore.

Ai’s hold on your shoulder becomes firm, uncomfortable and tight.

“…—I didn’t… I didn’t know it did that. Huh. Well— I’ve dragged this out long enough. I was hoping you’d get a few last photos of your world though… Just as a keepsake. Oh well, Maybe it’s for the best.”

A surge of panic shoots through your body. You immediately push him away, stumbling back in the process. You need to get away. Fast. Whatever he meant couldn’t be anything good. Did he want to kill you? Why did he wait?

He’s picked up on your panic.

“Woah, woah! Hey! I don’t want to hurt you. It’s not like that, okay? I just— I need you to come with me. It’ll be an adventure! Humans still like adventuring, right?” The thing’s slowly getting closer to you. You don’t wait to hear whatever he says next. All you can do now is run. Keep running until you find some way out of this place.

Despite your exhaustion, you keep moving, weaving between the trees and taking as many turns as possible. Anything to get him off of your trail. You can hear him behind you. It doesn’t seem like he’s running, though. There aren’t any footsteps.

WHAM. A branch collides with your forehead, and you immediately fall back onto the ground. You need to get up. You need to get up now.

It’s already too late.

He scoops you up effortlessly, ignoring your desperate flailing.

“Oh, ouch... That looked like it hurt. Hopefully it’ll only leave a small bruise. Anyways, I feel like I’m leaving a really bad first impression. You wouldn’t mind giving me a do-over once we get home, right? I mean— I feel like it was going well! Up until you got all freaked out. Not your fault, but next time maybe don’t run off like that.”

He doesn’t look human anymore. You’re looking into the slit pupils of some otherworldly being. It hurts to think too hard about it. It hurts to think at all.

He carries you back over to the spot you two had been before, taking you a bit further. Dread fills your stomach as he steps into the center of a ring of mushrooms and the world begins to melt around you. You can hear him whispering some reassurances to you, but you can’t process what he’s saying. Your eyelids feel so heavy. You don’t resist when he kisses your forehead, causing you to drift away entirely.

Sleep takes you under. It’s a relief. Nothing hurts anymore.

-

-

Your eyelids slowly open, glazing over your new surroundings. Sunlight streams in through a hole in the ceiling, as well as a window that has been thoroughly wrapped in vines. The bedroom is luxurious, but definitely not in any traditional sense.

There’s a large tree in the very center of the room. It’s a grandiose thing with slim leaves and dramatic pink flowers. It looks well taken care of. Still, it’s a weird decoration to have in the middle of a bedroom.

The man— or whatever it was— that brought you here is nowhere to be seen. That’s probably for the best. It gives you more time to find a way out of this place.

You notice the door parallel to the bed and immediately make your way over to it. Locked. You’re not sure what else you expected.

So that settles it. You’ve been taken hostage by some weird magical creature for god knows why and you have no way of knowing where you are. At least he hadn’t restrained you. You could still escape. Things weren’t over yet.

taglist (let me know if you’d like to be added!!): @whumpy-wyrms @inkwell-and-dagger @lordcatwich @kawaii-cakes

[cyberdragoninfinity]

was thinking about this since there's the action duel event in duel links, what's your opinion on the action duels in the actual arc-v anime?

OH THIS IS A GREAT QUESTION i looove action duels. i love a funny Spinoff Series Duel Gimmick, i think theyre so SO fun. but also like everything else in arc-v action duels are....hm. it's very 'the concept here kicks ass but the actual execution in show is DETERMINED to throw itself off a cliff" LMAO

LIKE THEYRE SO COOL ON PAPER. AND FOR LIKE ALL OF SEASON 1. youve got this natural progression of Solid Vision where the sets and the monsters have physical mass to them and are also kind of alive but dont worry about it, you can climb around on shit and RIDE YOUR MONSTERS!!! and duck and weave and explore and it's so fuckin cool, it's got such a crazy kinetic energy to it that just entrances me. I didn't realize until literally like a couple days ago that the Japanese game show influence is HUGE wrt the way duelists navigate Action Fields and scramble to grab Action Cards and such and it's such a such a fun vibe to bring to the ever-evolving depiction of this insane card game. It's like if a yugioh duel was also Wipeout but was also an old Nickelodeon kids' game show but was also the battle at the beginning of a pkmn movie but was also an old crash bandicoot game. fucking obsessed with them

And the Action Fields in season 1, these critical Duel Settings, are also just especially so cool, and it's frustrating that after that point we kind of just Dont Get Action Fields until literally the last few duels in the series. 'Crossover' is barely an Action Field let's be so real. It turns the immediate area into a platforming minigame but it is not nearly on the level of MASS SWORD GRAVE DUEL FIELD or TURN PARADISE CITY INTO ZOOTOPIA DUEL FIELDS.

and i think that's kind of just another unfortunate element of how much the wheels on arc-v's quality/storytelling start falling off by mid season 2 and 3. it's like seeing budget cuts in real time. we can't do Cool Volcano Field anymore. get on the Bland Floating Platforms.

at least we'll always have yuya's hippo showgirls

but anyway. i think the one (1) big issue Action Duels have, and the one thing about them that has me a bit Agonized watching action duels is the GODDAMN ACTION CARDS. FOR SOME REASON THE WAY DUEL LINKS IMPLEMENTED THEM IS LIKE LEAPS AND BOUNDS BETTER THAN IT IS IN THE SHOW. Like the way in DL you have to carefully pick out your 3 Action cards, they have to fit the 10 point quota the game gives you, they need to work With your deck and not Critically Carry Your Deck and Your Ass, I wish all of that was how they were in the anime!! Would make things more interesting!!

Cuz like in the show it's more 'ok random burst of Action Cards is scattered on the field' which could be cool but then the writing doesn't do anything remotely unique with them 90% of the time. They're like the Plot Crutch of all time in-show. It really just has this vibe of "it doesnt matter if your dueling sucks if you just grab the asspull action card that's in every single action duel that just Makes Your Opponents' Attack Miss" and thats just what Yuya does for like. every action duel he's in. other people have talked more eloquently about it but you really kind of realize just how BAD Yuya is at dueling when you sit and look at duels he won because he pulled the Convenient Ass-Saving Action Spell at the last minute and not because of anything he did with his dueling ability. And I do love me some Yugioh Plot Ass Pulls but here it just never feels earned... just like a bunch of other shit in arc-v HJDFGSDF. it just feels like the writers backing themselves into a corner and popping an Evasion Ex Machina. I Am So Goddamn Tired of Seeing Evasion. Miracle is Also On Thin Ice

THERE JUST HAD TO HAVE BEEN BETTER WAYS THEY COULD HAVE IMPLEMENTED THIS FEATURE. like idk make action cards more like speed spells in 5ds where theyre already IN your deck. or. or. oh the world if action cards in the show were more like a Chopped Basket where you get a set random selection of them predetermined before the duel and then characters have to really figure out how to use them creatively to help bolster their deck. life could be a dream

tl;dr I LIKE ACTION DUELS A LOT AND I THINK THEYRE SOME OF THE MOST FUN 'GIMMICK' YUGIOH DUELS. BUT WHY DID THEY MAKE ACTION CARDS LIKE THAT wish they were used in a more interesting way!! wish we got to see more insane duel fields past season one!! really curious to see how theyre handled in the arc-v manga. yugo stuck in the volcano field to look at if you dont like my posts

[soleilnomoon]

3/20!!!

AYO!!!

red velvet cupcake, lollipop, cake pop with whipped cream! for trafalgar law!! ayyyyyy 👉👉

just some cute domestic vibes with Wano!Law, Law stressing out over Luffy not being back yet and reader looking after him! then kinemon, mononosuke, penguin, shachi, and bepo (or whoever ✨) appearing like "AYYY BATHTIME" only to realise reader is there and freak out, causing Law to shambles them mid-scream 🤣

your prompts are so funny ily 💓 anyway, ty for being patient, as u know i am a slow writer, but i had fun (ofc i did, it's law) and i got second-hand embarrassment for everyone involved.

636 words (gasp, who am i), gn reader, sfw but suggestive, 18+ mdni, fluff (how could u); feat. law being a brat, reader having the patience of a saint, shower/bath time, would this count as voyeurism? maybe? idk, anyway law needs to just admit he's head over heels and get over himself, but will he?? no! brief cameo from bepo n frenz 💗

in hindsight, law realizes that it was foolish of him to think that the energetic straw hat captain would heed his words and follow his plan like the others. still, he really can’t believe the slight betrayal he feels when luffy deviates and does not arrive on time. he runs through several scenarios in his head over the hows and whys that might be the driving force behind luffy’s delay. all in all, he's stressed himself out beyond reason.

you tell him more than once that he needs to relax — despite his young age, you’re sure this level of stress isn’t good for the body. still, he barely hears or acknowledges your words until you gently place your hands on his face until you playfully squeeze his cheeks. that snaps him out of that bothersome daze, and he blinks several times before looking down at you, curiosity piqued now.

“do you trust me?” you ask on a whim, a teasing smile slipping onto your face, which only makes law narrow his eyes at you.

“not really,” he says rather quickly, although you know that he’s not being truthful. if anything, law trusts you entirely too much, which is a problem that he’s yet to rectify. his words don’t deter you, and your smile is much warmer when you tug on his hand and lead him to the bath house. questions swirl around inside of him, threatening to spill out, but he decides to keep them to himself for a moment, instead opting to trust you without hesitation.

it's surprisingly empty, which is great in your opinion — because it means you can help him relax without interruption. law manages to piece together what you have planned, and he can admit that he already feels the tension slowly leaving his body. the heat from the water helps relax his muscles, and you rub along his shoulders, kneading his skin firmly.

he grabs your wrist and turns to kiss you, lips moving against yours — the kiss is slow and sensual, igniting something deep within you. he pulls away to trail kisses along your jaw and neck, his palms are rough when they roam along your skin, but you’re so into it you don’t care.

“i’m supposed to be helping you relax,” you say with a sigh, the sound sweet, compelling him to pull you closer to him.

“you are,” he insists, and before he can say more, a cacophonous sound drifts inside, accompanied by the sounds of several pairs of heavy footsteps. it takes you a minute, but you soon realize that penguin, shachi, and bepo are there. you’re not sure who screams first but the noise is loud enough for law’s patience to come to and end. he casts a sharp glance their way, which only prompts them to ramble off excuses and flimsy apologies while you hide behind law to cover yourself up. your heart sits at the base of your throat, making it hard to breathe, the embarrassment powerful enough to make you want to melt into the water immediately as your cheeks flush deeply.

and while law doesn’t like using his devil fruit power for frivolous things, he deems this situation necessary and teleports his idiotic friends out of there. a faint flush finds its way onto his ears and neck, as he considers what would’ve happened if —

no, he wouldn’t go there, because if he did then he might actually strangle them later.

after calming yourself down, all you can do is laugh; it would be your luck that you’d get interrupted like that. law isn’t as forgiving as you are, already plotting a punishment for the trio, although you try your best to calm him down by pulling him in for another kiss.

maybe this time, you’ll really have the place to yourselves.

[thedragonagebigbang]

Bang Creator Interview: Tumblr: @twist-shout-and-shells | AO3: Aint_No_Holy_Ghost

The Collaboration period has begun! In these quiet months before works are due, we want to foster a sense of excitement, camaraderie, and celebration among our participants. To that end, all participants were given the option of a formal interview by our mod, Dema, or an informal “ask-game” survey. We hope you enjoy getting to know our phenomenal creators as much as we have!

This is how local political unrest can help your love life!

Izzy and Dema talk writing (surprise!), trying and failing to catch a train, and Those Greek Guys

Dema: Starting current events (at the time of the interview): It's pitch writing time! How's it going?

Izzy: I've reached the part where the fun and games end and the heavier plot begins, so I'm moving more slowly. I totally lost control of the direction my story was going after chapter 3. But it's been a great time writing this story!

Dema: It is funny how our own stories can get away from us. I think I have my vibes pinned down and I almost always deviate. Does that tend to be your experience or are you usually a make-a-plan, stick-to-the-plan-type of writer?

Izzy: I try to be a no-plan writer. That's usually how my stories start: I get an idea and start in it with no real direction. But eventually I'm forced to develop some plan for where I'm going, and I try to stick to it. But I think the nature of stories is that sometimes they just write themselves and I'm simply their vessel.

Dema: I'm trying to remember which writer described it as trying to catch a train...

Izzy: That sounds familiar... But I can't remember either.

Dema: Wow, it's gunna drive me crazy. I'll put it in later… it was basically, you're on foot, and inspiration is like a train, and you're just grabbing onto whatever you can grab. Except I'm pretty sure a nobel prize-winning writer said it so it sounded much better.

[Narrator: Dema never did find the original source, and it really will drive her crazy. If you know it, tag her!]

When you say you eventually need to develop a plan, at what point do you realize you need to do that?

Izzy: Either when I run out of inspiration or when I have a clear idea of where I want to get, but no idea of how to get there. With my story for the DABB it was the former: after writing three chapters non-stop I hit a brick wall of "alright, and where am I going with this?"

Dema: I was going to ask about the DABB next! Did you have your preliminary idea before you decided to join in?

Izzy: Yes. It was an idea that had been kicking around in my head for a long while, but that I wasn't sure I should actually write because it's a) kind of a cliche and b) not a very popular pairing, but eventually I decided to just get it out there anyway. It started with a very particular line of dialogue and grew from there.

Dema: Oh, we love a rarepair in this house…And of course, I know what it is, and am excited.

Izzy: Lol! It was strange for me actually, becoming a rare pair writer. The first big bang I participated in was for Supernatural, a pairing with 100k fics on their tag. Now I'm writing for a pair with 100 fics, 4 of which are mine.

Dema: Incredible. You are holding down this fort. Also I love this little teaser. When did you start writing for DA?

Izzy: October 2022 (We're in 2024 already, jesus Christ)

Dema: Yes, unfortunately it is a daily shock for me as well. But I love how many people come into the fandom and create new fanworks even so long after the last game came out. What drew you in? Were you already hanging around the DA fandom before 2022?

Izzy: I started playing...at the end of 2021, I think. My brother introduced me to the franchise and my autistic little brain became obsessed with it. I was going to name my favorite game and protagonist, but considering they're the center of the fic, that'd be a spoiler. Anyway, I started following some DA blogs on Tumblr, and eventually thoughts of that game had consumed my every waking thought to the point I wrote two academic essays about it in my first year of uni. I wrote a significant portion of those 4 fics in the bus on the way to said uni. What drew me in most were the themes, really.

Dema: Any in particular?

Izzy: Found family and the tragic undertones of it all, mostly. I really like the way DA2 works as a tragedy in between two epics. The mage x templar conflict is also quite interesting. The tragedy x epic was totally the subject of one of those essays, btw. My professors suffer.

Dema: So I assume DA2 is your favorite of the franchise? Have you played all of them?

Izzy: Yes, it is! I've played all of them a couple of times, and DA2...several times. I don't know how many. 

Dema: I'm so curious if you played them in order or started with DA2. The "best order" to experience the DA universe is an interesting debate.

Izzy: No, I played them in order. Personally, I think it'd be strange to play them out of order, at least for the first time, because of the way the stories tie into each other. What I did do was play DA2 twice before I played Inquisition because on my first gameplay I didn't really check the writing desk (there wasn't anything like that in DAO and I was still new to games more complex than The Sims) and I missed Fenris entirely. Detail: he's one of my fave companions now

Dema: I'm pretty sure I missed Sera on my first DA:I playthrough. It's wild how much it impacts the story, if you miss a companion!

Izzy: Yes! I mean, it's a whole arc and a lot of banter you just don't get. Fenris has so much good banter!! I truly can't believe I missed him.

Dema: When it comes to the DA fandom, would you consider yourself a gamer first and a writer or reader second, or something else?

Izzy: That's a really difficult question. I'm not exactly a big gamer. Like, I'm not a completionist and I mostly play on casual because my real focus is the story being told. So I guess what I truly am is a "reader of the game" lol. Though I have been getting more into combat strategizing and stuff like that for DA2, because you can only play something on casual so many times before it loses the appeal. If you'll allow me an anecdote, to paint a picture of the kind of "gamer" I am: one time I was playing DAI in my brother's room (his computer), and he walks in, sees me with a vein popping on my forehead, stupidly focused, staring unflinchingly at the screen, and asks "what the f* are you doing?" I was in the undercroft tinting armors. 

And then, after that, I'm a writer.

Dema: This story is very relatable, lol. You've touched on the narrative structure of the franchise a bit and I'd love to hear more about that epic to tragedy to epic format, and why that resonated. Since you wrote a whole paper on it, just distill it into like four sentences, that shouldn't be hard right??? (I'm sorry)

Izzy: Oh, god. Ok. I'll try not to get too carried away :V

Dema: Please feel free. Here is a box to stand on, and a megaphone.

Izzy:  So. Uh. The Greeks, right? Those guys. Aristotle, more specifically. The Poetics and all that. I think DAO and DAI follow the formula of classic epics: you have this larger than life hero going on a very important quest to save the world. Notice that those games are longer than DA2, kind of like an odyssey, if you will. There are many quests, many steps to the journey before the hero can rest. It's glorious and grand, regardless of whether the hero survives or not. Now DA2 follows the formula of tragedies even closer than the other games follow the epic. And I mean step by step aristotelian formula. You have Hawke, who rises into fame and fortune. The rising movement is very important, because you later have the downfall. He gets fame and riches, but everything comes with a cost, usually the lives of his family. So in DA2 you have this constant rise and fall movement, leading up to the end where (if you defend the mages, at least) Hawke is forced to leave behind everything they spend 7+ years building. They lose everything. In the essay I compared it to Oedipus: he becomes king and etc, there's this looming prophecy (remember Flemmeth when you do the amulet ritual), and in the end everything falls apart. That's as summarized as I can get lol. And Hawke starts out as a nobody! And the game is actually divided in acts!!!

Dema: I read a LOT of classics/Homer in undergrad and I love this. Ten out of Ten. Thank you! I could honestly listen to you talk about that epic/tragedy structure for another hour but alas, we are out of time. To close the interview, and just for fun: Can you come up with a buzzfeed-style, misleading, click-bait title for your fic? Without giving anything major away that would identify you lol

Izzy: Ok, so, this is as vague as I managed: This is how local political unrest can help your love life (Also, I just realized I went out to get wifi and did the whole interview wearing a DA2 sweater. It was a complete accident, I swear)

Dema: AMAZING. Please show me the sweater!!

Izzy: The culprit:

Dema: I love it. Thank you for chatting with me, Izzy!

[clockwayswrites]

OKAY, so I have been rereading some of your stuff, as anyone with a wonderful taste does /j. And I got to the One Stop Soup Shop? I hope that titles right lmao; anyway. So rereading that, and I got to the part where Jason and Danny are talking right after Jason wakes up, right? And I managed to overlook it for the first few rereads but the conversation where Danny is explaining what he used to be and what Jason is now makes me think of a couple different theories on what Danny could be now? Because he's almost, or he is implying, he isn't a Halfa anymore.

So, Fascinating. And I have a couple theories on that? So; here they are,

My first thought was Danny is the ghost version of a liminal. Like the opposite of a liminal. Ghost with human traits, instead of a Human with ghostly traits.

My second one was that whoever had him/captured him basically forced him, either permanently or until something can be done ie with Frostbite the yeti doctor or some other means, into his Ghost form, unable to turn back into human/living form.

My third was that, on the basis that a halfas core is connected to their heart, they tore Danny's heart out from the core, Either by the Fentons misguided attempts at believing Phantom was hiding in their now dead-from-the-portal-opening boys body, so taking his heart out to both kill Phantom, seeing him as some kind of parasite now, and allow Danny to be laid to rest, or the GIW got him, saw it, was wishing to experiment on it, did so, and when Danny was escaping, he tried grabbing it, and the pieces wouldn't rejoin, having been apart for a little too long, leaving Danny as this Halfa Husk, almost but not quite. A Core with a human body but missing the most vital piece of being alive, a heart. So he's essentially stranded to be a ghost, unable to turn human without dying slowly, and painfully. Again.

.... As you can see, I am so normal about OSSS. Clearly. Lmao, anyway, yeah I have gone slightly insane but it is so good, it's worth it, honestly. I think i have said enough to last a thousand years about OSSS. But I will leave with the fact that I am so excited to go reread, and spin in my head with OSSS, LBFD and BWAO. Hope you've been taking care of yourself, all the writing and head thinking you've been doing, okay? Great writers must be kept happy or something like that

I had to sit down and reread the first fic of this just to make sure I was thinking right LOL which was enjoyable, so thank you for that. It's always nice to have a reason to reread my own work, even if it's at the cost of your sanity I suppose? ^_^;

Like most of my fics, I have the scaffolding but not necessarily the details. Bobi esp was written more on vibes than on a plan. That said, your third one is closest.

Spoilers, I guess lol

But Jazz talks Danny into revealing Phantom to their parents, who go the route of being convinced that Danny is dead and his corpse is just being puppeted by Phantom. And in their experimentation he tips from being balanced to being more dead. The details I don't know, though your idea of heart is chilling! Basically Danny has a 'living' form that breaths and bleeds and is solid, but it's only that way because he started as a halfa. Unlike before when he had to transform to use some of this powers, he's always basically more ghost than not and so can turn off any of that. And he's still alive in his unique way.

JLD would have a fit meeting him lol.

[loveroftoomanyfandoms]

Every Little Thing *He* Does is Magic, Chapter 1

Pairing: Platonic Steven Grant x Reader (for now)

Rating: T

Word count: ~1,250

Story Summary: The events of Every Little Thing She Does is Magic, retold from Reader's perspective after the fact to her best friend.

Tags/Warnings: Companion fic, canon Divergent since Steven still works for the British Museum post-canon, No Jake Lockley, developing friendship, spoilers for ELTSDiM

A/N: Reader wanted to publicly lust over Steven. I don't make the rules. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

Once I get this caught up to the present timeline in ELTSDiM, I will be posting the chapters concurrently (or as concurrent as possible, anyway).

Y/F/N Y/L/N sighed as she unlocked the door to her apartment and walked inside.

She shut the door and hung her bag on the hook before setting her keys in the bowl on the side table in the hall. Thank goodness this place came furnished.

She had just walked into the kitchen when her phone rang with a FaceTime request.

Y/N grinned and swiped to answer. “Hey, Ames.”

“Tell me everything,” Amy, Y/N’s best friend since college, said in reply. “How was your first day as director of the British Museum?”

Y/N let out a light laugh. “It was interesting, to say the least. I just walked in the door, so give me a second to pour myself a glass of wine and I'll tell you all about it.”

She opened a cabinet and grabbed a wine glass before setting it on the counter. “I still can't believe I actually got the job.”

“I can,” Amy replied. “You single-handedly turned the university’s museum from a struggling, run-down relic into one of the most prestigious in the country in less than 5 years. You deserved this, girl.”

Y/N took a bottle of wine out of her refrigerator and poured herself a glass. “Thanks, Ames. That means a lot.”

She put the bottle back in the refrigerator then picked up her glass and moved to the sofa. “Okay, so… first thing I did when I got there was meet my assistant, Helen, who's this kinda older lady but seems pretty cool. Then I met the board of trustees, then I took a little break and was able to wander around the museum a bit.”

“You went straight to the Egyptian exhibit, didn't you?” Amy asked.

Y/N grinned. “How’d you guess?”

“Well let's see, you took every single Egyptology class you could in college, you were Dr. Reynolds’s only choice for T.A., and your doctoral thesis was on the excavation of King Tut’s tomb and whether or not it had been done ethically.”

Y/N laughed. “Okay, fair. Anyway, while I was in there, this guy came up to me and started talking --”

Amy gasped. “Wait, you met a guy? Why didn't you lead with that? Tell me more!”

Y/N shook her head with a grin. Amy, who had gone on to become a best-selling writer after college, was a hopeless romantic and had seemingly made it her life’s mission to ensure that Y/N was just as happy as she and her husband Blake were. “Okay, so there I was, looking at the statue of Mekhit, when this really attractive British guy comes up and tells me that the sign on it is wrong.”

“Was it?”

“Yeah, it actually was. The placard said it was Menhit, who is a completely different goddess. Anyway, so the guy starts explaining the difference between the two, but not in like, a mansplainy way or anything, and he was so adorably cute and excited about it that I just stood there and listened to him talk.”

“Did you get his number?”

Y/N shook her head. 

“What? Why not?”

Y/N took a sip of her wine before answering. “So we're vibing, right? Then I make a joke about accidentally praying to the wrong god because of a spelling error when suddenly the guy says, ‘oh yeah, I've been trying to get my bosses to fix this one for months now. Took them ages to fix the banner depicting the Ennead’.”

Amy's face fell. “Oh, you're shitting me.”

Y/N shook her head. “Nope. I shit you not.”

“He works there?”

“Yep. His name is Steven and he works in the gift shop.”

“Hold up, he's not even a tour guide?”

“Nope, he’s just really knowledgeable about Egyptian history. Trust me, I was just as shocked when I figured that out.”

“So then what happened?”

“Then he asked me if he could show me his favorite exhibit and took me to see Hathor.”

Amy groaned. “Ugh, that would have been so romantic had he not been an employee.”

“I know.” Y/N shook her head. “Anyway, he was telling me about how cool Hathor is when we were interrupted by this woman who I figured must've been another employee, because as soon as Steven tried to make a break for it she started in on him about ‘not bothering the museum visitors’ and how he ‘wasn’t a bloody tour guide’ and how his job is to ‘sell rubbish to whiny brats and their caretakers’, then said that the new museum director was ‘some poncy American’ when Steven asked her who it was -- all while still within earshot of me, mind you.”

Amy made a face. “Ugh, she sounds like a real piece of work. Who the hell even does that?”

Y/N took another sip of wine. “I know, right?”

“Oh, honey, I'm sorry.”

Y/N shrugged. “It's just as well. Steven had no idea who I was at the time either, and honestly, now that I think about it I'm not even sure he even had been flirting with me.”

“Still, though, that sucks.”

“It actually turned out okay, because when I got back to my office I had Helen pull Steven’s employee information file and girl, he was SO overqualified to be working in a museum gift shop.” Y/N grinned. “You remember how I told you that the tours were boring and that the first thing I wanted to do was to try to update them but the position for the head of programming and tours was vacant?”

Amy nodded. “Yeah.”

“Well, guess who's now the new Visitor Engagement Specialist?”

Amy shook her head with a light laugh. “Look at you, making lemonade out of lemons.”

“And not only that, but it turns out that the woman that had been rude to Steven was the gift shop manager, so after I talked to Steven again this afternoon and offered him the Visitor Engagement Specialist position I called her to my office for a little ‘chat’. Oh, Ames, you should've seen the look of sheer panic when she sauntered into my office, saw me standing there, and realized that she had both berated a subordinate and shit-talked me basically to my face.”

Amy nodded in approval. “Slay, queen, slay.”

Y/N shook her head. “Because it was my first day and I didn't want to have to fire someone right off the bat I reminded her of the museum’s policy on bullying and harassment and gave her a warning instead.”

“That's very diplomatic of you.”

“Anyway, I'm meeting with Steven on Friday to discuss his ideas for revamping the tours, and since we're getting some new artifacts in on Thursday I asked him to also sit in on my meeting with the curatorial staff while we discuss placement.”

Amy wiggled her eyebrows. “Hey, at least you'll have some eye candy.”

Y/N laughed and shook her head. “Not even gonna think about that since there's no point.”

“Ah well, at least you tried.” Amy glanced down at the corner of her screen. “I gotta run -- I have a Zoom meeting with my editor in 5 minutes.”

Y/N nodded. “Okay, I'll talk to you again soon. Give Blake my love.”

“Will do. Bye!”

Y/N tapped at her phone to end the call and smiled. Despite getting off on the wrong foot with Donna, all in all her first day as director of the British Museum had turned out pretty well. I think I'm going to like it there.

[a-hundred-jewels]

ok im reading the solangelo book and HOLY MOTHER OF DEMONS what the actual FUCK!!!??!?!???!?!? only around the 100 page mark so i cant firmly give a verdict but thusfar i am absolutely LOVING it!!! the darker tone (& its a VERY dark tone oh my god) suits the setting and the characters really fucking well - never read anything by mark oshiro before but they are an absolutely incredible writer and the blend of uncle rick's nostalgic young percy writing style with the more adult borderline horror vibes AND the fucking queer beauty of it all (thank you thank you thank you mark stg i want to read ALL of your stuff immediately) makes a story about some of my favourite characters of all time all the more captivating and genuinely terrifying to read. this could have been a cheap cash grab, a rainbow capitalism and i would have read it anyway but GOOD GODS this is EXACTLY for me. rick, youve made mistakes and some of them have been pretty harmful, but between this and the pjo show and daughter of the deep (which i also loved - truly one of my favourite books i read in 2022) im genuinely impressed at the effort going into making this fandom (& kids media in general) a more inclusive space (ie hiring sensitivity readers for daughter of the deep, cowriting tsats with a nonbinary writer). truly cant wait to see what happens next, both in the future of rick riordan and mark oshiro, and in this FUCKING BOOK whoch is EATING MY BRAIN.

[idyllic-affections]

a letter from aphelion. ♡

a letter to all the people who have made my year in one way or another. there is no particular order to this post, and some of you may find that i don't have much to say, but all of you who are on this post are here because i can recall times i've enjoyed speaking to you or seeing you in my notifs or just existing within the same space as you. i hope you all have only the best year possible next year—it seems like most of us need and deserve a good year, hm? though i regard myself as quite a gentle and sentimental soul, i struggle with putting it into words. it's ironic, considering i am a writer. i mention this because even if the things i say in this post are quite silly and lighthearted, just know that i earnestly mean what i say and each and every one of you has contributed to my year in a memorable way <3 may we all have a good 2024.

       dear @lillonvia,

YOU!!!! YOU!!!!! HELLO. HI. MEETING YOU HAS BEEN SUCH AN HONOR AND SUCH A DELIGHTFUL PART OF MY YEAR!!! i love the little silly conversations we often have—i think it's probably a good thing that we share so many random fandoms. it's as if we lived somewhat similar lives growing up despite growing up in such vastly different environments <3 but anyway, i think the fandoms we share are really helpful in being able to have such fun conversations!! we have many things to talk about!!! despite the vast difference in timezones!!!! please go to sleep at normal hours!!!!!!! /lh

       dear @starryshinyskies,

HI AVERY <3 i was literally always so delighted to see you in my inbox back when you were still ⭐️ anon, and i still feel that kind of joy now! you have so many good and fun thoughts to share with me about things i've written and i love that... i hope moral injury ch. 2 will give you that same kind of brainrot again when it does finally come out!!!! if it doesn't that's okay too HAHA but i always love hearing your thoughts on... literally anything ever!! i have some fics of yours that i've been meaning to reblog btw, so maybe watch out for multiple essays in your notifications in the coming weeks LMAO

       dear @aroacenezha,

MAJI I AM SQUISHING YOU LOVINGLY IN MY HANDS or i can just look at you fondly if you don't want to be squished. i am okay with that too <3 i often think about how we met and i think it's both kind of funny and kind of nice. "baizhu would hate dottore" agreed so real so true that post was so correct in so many ways RAAHHH 🤝 the nice part of the way we met being my baizhu series. despite me having NOT updated it any time recently, has brought a lot of people into my inbox and sometimes into my life and i think it's very cool. i love when people feel seen. and furthermore please always send me your oc thoughts and your blorbo thoughts i love them so much 🙏🙏🙏

       dear @soleillunne,

ALYYY MY LOVE MY BELOVED you are so precious and treasured.... i love what you do, i think your writing is beautiful and has such a poetic quality to it. and i love when you appear in my inbox and notifs!!!! though tumblr is very mean to you and always eats your asks.... you are important to me and so many other people and i hope you always know that. genuinely. you are such a kind and wonderful person and you are always loved.

       dear @heiayen,

YOU. *GRABS YOU* *EVILLY* you. you are so. idk but YOU ARE. can't think of a good word. no words, only vibes. you are vibe-y. /lh you're another moot that has the most top tier responses to things, even non-fanfic posts. you just have Things To Say, and in the best way possible. your thoughts are so fun..... i interact with you rather often—more than some people realize, perhaps—and you are a dearly beloved presence in my life 🫶🫶

       dear @zeldadou,

though we haven't talked too much recently, i still think of you often! i love seeing your art and the way it changes and develops... and i love hearimg your thoughts about things or when you send me fun things you think i would like <33 you are a very kind person in my eyes, whether you realize it or not.

       dear @june-again,

i hope life treats you well, always. you don't deserve anything less. i think of you fondly! your kindness is and was very remarkable and treasured especially when i was first adjusting to tumblr and posting my fics and whatnot..... by the time we met, i was still very new, so i appreciated any kind interactions (i still do of course! it's just a bit different when you're new to a website like this haha)!!

       dear @kaixserzz,

I FUCK WITH YOUR THOUGHTS DUDE YOU SEEM TO COME INTO MY INBOX AT THE MOST RANDOM AND UNEXPECTED OF TIMES AND DROP THE MOST HEARTBREAKING ANGST POSSIBLE??????? HELLO?????????? ARE YOU. DOING OKAY??!???!!!! YOU WAKE UP AND CHOOSE VIOLENCE. ESPECIALLY WITH KAVEH. WTF (me too tbh 😇) /lh please always send me any platonic thoughts you have i will entertain all of them fr 💥💥💥 you have such good thoughts in that brain of yours 💥💥💥💥💥💥💥

       dear @archonsbane,

i haven't spoken to you much, so forgive me if this seems or comes off as a sudden or jarring tag, but i do enjoy talking to you. fatui moot <3 you GET IT get it about the harbingers' dynamics. i hope we have more opportunities to speak sometime! (and if that sentiment isn't shared, that is totally fine. i would respect it either way 🫶)

       dear @lesanyanyas,

we only became mutuals recently, but i hope you know that i always thought of you as one of the "blorbo from my notes" kinds of people haha!!! i always saw and recognized you whenever you were in my notifications or my inbox and you always have such delightful and fun things to say <33

       dear @umgatochamadopercyval,

CLARA HIII you are such a remarkable person, you know? you've been nothing but kind and understanding, and you have such fun thoughts and ideas!! i love hearing about them sm. even if my responses are delayed, just know that you are always welcome to ramble in my dms about your ocs or your fic ideas and i will never find it to be annoying or anything. it isn't annoying. it never is.

                                                 sincerely,                                                                           aphelion.

there are people who did not make this list, and to those people, i hope we can become closer in 2024! if you aren't on here, it's truly only because i've hardly spoken to you. so... perhaps that is something we can do next year! i think of all my mutuals very fondly. i don't think of any of you as "less than" just because we haven't spoken mwah mwah <3

[motzgurke]

If you’re still taking requests, could you do pumpkin picking/carving with husband!shoto? Just sweet and cozy fall vibes. Thank you ❤️

As you might have noticed I haven’t posted much lately because I’m kinda stuck with a writer’s block. I have started on all the requests but am not happy with how they went and tried to concentrate on cosplaying as a distraction for now. But hopefully this will help me get back into writing :) Thx for this beautiful request!

Shoto couldn’t understand why you were so picky as you looked over the pumpkins. For him each and everyone looked nearly the same, only the size varies but that wasn’t the point for you. Somehow you seemed to see something he didn’t and with the hope to catch a glimpse of the thing you were looking for he leaned over your shoulder, trying to get as close to the angle you were expecting the pumpkins from.

“What is with this one?”, he asked and pointed to a big one to the left kinda reminding him of an oversized orange egg. As you followed his gaze you shook your head and turned to him rolling your eyes at his suggestion. “Are you taking this even seriously, Shoto?”

Shoto blinked at you for the hundredth time today and you just shook your head returning to inspecting the pumpkins on display.

So not the egg ones, he thought and looked in the other directions. What was so special about this anyways? Halloween wasn’t even a real holiday but you still made such a fuss about it. As he wondered about your weird obsession for this day he noticed another pumpkin, this time rounder and not as big as the other one.

Carefully not to scare the other vegetables around him he walked closer and inspected it with more care. The skin was a pretty bright orange color with just a few bumps and the roundness fit perfectly in his hands while it was still quite heavy. Curious he copied you by knocking slightly on the pumpkin checking the solidness of it before nodding to himself and making his way back to you.  

In the meantime, you were disappointed with the selection, none of the pumpkins matched your imagination, and as you were about to give up your husband tapped on your shoulder, gaining your attention with his light touch.

“Is this one okay?”, he asked with a neutral expression and showed you the most perfect pumpkin you had ever seen in your whole life. It looked straight like a movie prop and as you expected it your eyes lit up with excitement. “Sho! It’s perfect”, you cheered and Shoto couldn’t help but blush at your happy expression. For him, it was still a mystery what could be so special about a simple pumpkin but if it was enough to make you smile like this he would travel the whole country for this occasion.

About an hour later you were back at home with him and hurried to push him into the kitchen after gathering a few knives and spoons from the drawers. Shoto was watching silently as you covered your floor with a bag and set the items down next to the pumpkin. When you seemed to be happy with your preparations you jumped to your feet and over to him, pulling him by the hands to sit him down next to you in front of the pumpkin.

“You have never done this before, right?” You asked him while taking a hairclip from your pocket and pulling his fringe to the side. He was a bit confused as you secured his hair and smiled at his clueless expression. “Done what?”

Shaking your head you kissed his cheek and turned back to the objects in front of you, grabbing a knife and carefully cutting a circle at the stem of the pumpkin. “I mean carving a pumpkin for Halloween”, you sang and continued the ministrations which seemed to be a harder task than you had anticipated.

“Why would you do that?”, Shoto watched as you pulled the top off the pumpkin and grabbed a spoon, carefully pulling the seeds and some flesh from the vegetable. When you noticed him staring you shoved the spoon in his hand and motioned for him to complete hollowing it.

“So we can carve a spooky face in it”, you continued but Shoto seemed even more confused the more you talked about it. “Don’t think too much about it. It’s a tradition and the process is fun”, you grinned and inspected his work until all the seeds and flesh was now laying in the bag you had prepared.

Shoto still didn’t seem to fully understand this so-called tradition, but since you seemed so happy as you sit there next to him he didn’t mind not getting point. If this meant he could spend some more time with you who was he to deny your request?

“And now?”, he asked and you gently took the pumpkin from his hands and grabbed a sharp knife before you started scribing a grin and eyes into the peel. “Now we have to carve out the face. I will prepare the outlines and you can cut them out?”, you asked sweetly and Shoto watched you with a spark of interest as slowly but surely he could see where all of this was going.

Careful not to disturb you he leaned his chin on your shoulder and watched how delicately you put together a scary-looking face. “What if you had another fang here?”, he pointed at a corner of the grin and you nodded, happy that he was getting more and more involved in this.

When you both were satisfied with the face you handed the pumpkin back to him and he immediately started carving out the forms, bringing the decoration to life. He looks so intrigued, his eyes sparkling with childlike joy as he completed your shared little project, already excited to see it sitting on the porch and hopefully making the passerbys happy too.

If someone had told you before your Shoto would get so excited about this you would have never believed them but here you were, secretly snapping a picture of your husband and his first carved pumpkin.

“Love, I think I’m finished”, he told you and proudly turned the object so you could inspect his work. “Looks fantastic”, you smiled and admired the little teeth and layers he had added to the grin. Shoto seemed so happy that you even let him pick a spot to put the pumpkin and he found the perfect one on the porch, visible to everyone who would come by the front door.

As he sat the pumpkin down he suddenly disappeared into the living room only to return with a candle in his hand a few moments later. “Light this for me?”, you asked and he ignited the candle with a flick of his finger before you put it into the pumpkin and pulled him down the step to show him the final result.

Shoto was mesmerized by how the soft golden lighting of the candle made the pumpkin looks not just scarier but even more magical than he had imagined. He was so proud of such a simple thing and again you saw the childish side of him smiling with joy.

Happy to see your usual stoic husband enjoy this little decoration so much that you leaned on his side and gave his shoulder a gentle kiss.

“Can we do another one?”, Shoto asked as he leaned his head on yours, still amazed by the glowing pumpkin on his porch. A laugh escaped you and you hugged his side tighter, glad you could once again show him some magic you had always taken for granted.

“As many as you like, my love.”

[mooncaps]

Watching and Crying

I don’t know how this show can top the impact of everything it’s already done and I’m sure there will be a lot more I wish they could’ve done, but let’s go!

Okay, just straight in, picking up immediately where it left off. Kind of jarring.

Okay, I guess this is the Titan from the in between.

Ooh, the heart. I was wondering if there was something more to be done with that.

Um, what? Is she the Emperor? The Golden Guard? To quote Hooty from last episode: What’s happening?!

That’s different stained glass, right? I feel like they’re trying to tell me something significant, but it’s not clicking.

Thanks, I hate it.

Ominous vibes from Amity. I don’t think I’m ready for this.

I’m definitely not ready for this!

Okay, so it’s everyone’s worst nightmare. I’m catching up.

Eyyy, callbacks. It’s like an inversion of Covention.

Okay, they keep knocking that hat off and putting it back on. I feel like they’re trying to set up something, but I’m not quite sure what.

Let’s go, Amity!

Yes! More of the certified bop that is The Collector’s Theme. ♫ ♪

Okay, more callbacks.

I can dig it.

Well, uh, mad respect for the attempt, little dude, but I will be shocked if that works.

That’s probably not good.

And there goes the hat again. Tell me your secrets, hat!

Now we’re doing callbacks to Agony of a Witch. I see you.

Okay, but like, they’re not actually killing off the main character at the end of a Disney Channel show. I’m sad for the characters presumably thinking it, but I can’t pull myself out of the meta perspective.

Oh, whoa, it’s a Hooty eye. I didn’t even spot that before.

Oh, that is a look!

Yes! This is a callback I was fully expecting and I’m thrilled to see it.

Bookends in finales are one of my favorite tropes.

Yooo! Titan Luz looks sick!

Loving the new remix of the theme. ♪ ♫

Ooh! Okay, that rings a bell.

Y’all know I’ve been thinking about the hat. Ever since Camila picked it up in 3x01 it’s been on my mind. And when I was passing the time between 3x02 and 3x03, I watched reactors do 1x01 and the thought occurred to me that if the writers wanted to do a full circle moment, then maybe they’d throw back to...

And so this isn’t exactly what I was thinking and doesn’t really involve the hat like I thought it would, but I’m noticing the visual similarity.

(Hang on, let me from the next morning grab a better screencap and...)

Bookending with Titans getting their crowns. What they deserve.

Eeeee! These baby gays always give me life.

Awww, Hooty, you’re adorable!

Her.

Oh my heart’s not ready for this.

Of course she chose all of them. Oh, and she’s wearing Amity’s necklace!

Ooh, new door. Finally accomplished what Luz wanted when she tried to find The Collector in the first place.

Ahhhh! There he is carving palismen! I’m so happy for him!

And Dell gets to teach the trade to someone new. Oh, and Hunter’s got a new palisman.

Whoa. Alright, Amity. Get it, queen.

Eyyyy, Harpy Lilith. I was wondering if we’d ever get to see this.

Rainestorm looking fabulous.

Am I sensing chemistry? (And I’m not just talking about abominations.)

This looks neat, but it’s hard to get a good screenshot with the credits going.

Eda, also looking fabulous.

That’s a good shot. Even Boscha showed up. And I’m glad to see Tiny Nose survived the thorny situation she was in when Belos was taking over.

Also...

Same energy.

Oh, I’m just noticing Bat Queen’s kids growing up. Such precious little monsters.

Ooh, a new glyph.

Woop, Youtube shrunk the final image off to the corner. Me from the next morning has to step in again with a better screencap.

And there we have it.

So, yeah, I’ve watched this twice now. Remind me not to stay up til after midnight waiting for an episode of a show in the future. The second time hit way better when I was well-rested. Er, well, rested anyway.

There were definitely some spots where it felt kind of rushed, and I understand why they had to pack as much as they could into a short space of time, but it still leaves me wishing for more. The nightmares alone could’ve been an episode or two if we’d had a full season 3. But I suppose we can’t dwell too much on what could’ve been.

They did a lot with what they had and made something very meaningful and impactful in my life and I’m sure in the lives of many others. There’s also definitely plenty of room for them to expand into comics or spinoffs, should those opportunities ever arise.

I kind of wish The Collector hadn’t left. For one thing, that last screenshot will always be lacking one character that I would want in a full group shot. And I guess it’s implied that they helped build the new portal door at some point, but I would’ve like too see more of The Collector helping out with the rebuilding efforts. And now I’m quite curious about the Archivists and whatever else is going on in the stars. More potential left open for the future, I suppose.

Gotta say I’m surprised they killed Belos. Not that I’m mourning for him, but I was thinking Luz would probably use the last of her Titan power to imprison him between the realms. I figured that would be a fitting punishment, but maybe killing him was more merciful. And dead to rights, he’d already lived way past his natural lifespan by stealing the lives of others. I’m a little bit surprised that he even could be killed, stubbornly as he clung to life. And I would’ve been afraid to touch that goop for fear of getting possessed, but I guess maybe Luz was still exuding enough Titan power to prevent him from doing that. Anyway, I’m rambling on a tangent now.

Definitely quite a ride. I’m sure I’ll always wish there could’ve been more, but I’m equally sure I’ll always love what we got. And we got so much. Even if we never get anything else, I know this show will continue to spark fond memories in me.

[rollercoasterwords]

In my neighbourhood, there’s this little pink wooden house-on-a-stand sort of thing, with The Free Library written on it. The rule is, take a book, leave a book. My parents don’t like me going there, because then they can’t check if the books are ‘appropriate,’ like they do all my library books. But I go anyway, because of course I do. One day last summer, I went and found two cool-looking books, Lars Iyer’s Wittgenstein Jr., and Eve Zaremba’s Work for a Million. Reading the prior literally sent me into a weeklong philosophical crisis, changed my life in unimaginable ways, and hugely shaped the person I am today, but today I want to talk about the former. Work for a Million.

I’ve had WfoM for almost a year now, but I’ve never really tried to read it, until yesterday. I was bedrotting, sick with writer’s block, surrounded by barely worn clothes, a dozen led pencils, a few empty starbucks bottles, and the sea of thingamabobits that’s spilled from my desk onto my bed. I saw the book on my shelf, and thought, ‘why not?’ So thus I got up to grab it.

Skimming through. It’s a crime novella, about a dyke detective, written in the 1980s. In the introduction, the author touches briefly on what the eighties were like. I, being still very much a teenager, know nothing of the eighties, except of course from marauders fanfiction. 

And then I remembered you, Rae, and your retelling of ATYD. And then I was just struck by the memory of reading it and what a talented writer you were in that.  Granted, it’s been a while since I’ve read anything by you, and frankly I found atwmd to be quite boring, and stopped following after a few chapters. But still, from what I remember, when you write you have this innate ability to just transport the reader into the narrative, and it’s like they experience the story just as the characters do. That’s how I felt, at least. I felt, perhaps stupidly, that I, in a way, experienced pieces of the seventies because of the way you wrote about them. You just create this vibe, that in a moment pulls readers into the story and leaves them dazen and blinking at its end. ‘The fuck just happened?’, they’ll ask each other, palms to their foreheads. ‘Did you feel that too?’

I don’t know if it’s years of practice or just natural talent, but the way you write is something I, as an aspiring writer, really respect and maybe even envy. I think if we knew each other in real life we’d be friends. Or maybe I’d follow you around like an annoying child, I don’t know. This message is more a thank-you than a compliment. Even when I’m older, I think whenever I’m stressed and my copy of Wittgenstein Jr. isn’t on my person, I’ll probably just open up ao3 and start rereading your Summer 1977 to calm myself down. So for that future, thank you. And for the past, the first time I read your writing, thank you. Sincerely, kudos.

-Robert.

emoji representation of me reading this message:

🙂🧐😲🙂😊😧😟😔🤨😕😐🙂🤭😊😌🙂🤗

i appreciate the kind words! glad my take on atyd resonated w u & wishing u all the best w ur own writing etc <3

[themswritinwords]

ALSO I'm once again going to be a panelist, presenter, and moderator at the LTUE Symposium in February!

LTUE is one of the most affordable writers'/creatives' conferences out there (extra discounts for if you're a student) while still giving you a massive bang for your buck. They have eight different 'tracks' for presentations and panels (writing, world building, art, TMA, academics, books, gaming, and professional development), but you can attend literally whichever sessions, panels, or presentations you want, so you can mix and match interests and professional goals.

It's super educational and I highly recommend it to anyone trying to go pro with their creative works, but it's also fun. Like obscene amounts of fun. It's all the best of a convention while also providing genuine professional opportunities. People come in cosplay, Sunday Best, and/or street clothes; I was on a panel last year next to an author with electric purple hair and a real silver fairy tiara whilst I was wearing a t-shirt with a sunglasses possum on it, and the guy on the other side of us was in a full suit and bowtie. There was a life-size Springtrap cosplay out in the main lobby. I pitched for the first time ever to 3 actual literary agents and got 3 requests. I got personal career advice from a 25+ year industry pro. A 12 year old with a "future author" pin asked me questions on my presentation and took notes, and so did an octogenarian in rainbow suspenders. I was taught how to write a professional query letter-- that has a 16% positive response rate, where standard is ~10%-- by a former lawyer in a pirate hat.

It's good vibes only, man.

But you'll also find professional agents, editors, artists, authors, directors, game devs and so on. It's a huge geek-fest that puts people at all levels of the professional world on equal footing. They've even got gaming events and filking circles.

In short, it's networking, fun, hyperfocus material, and professional-level education in equal measure.

I seriously can't say enough good things about it (and not just because I'm involved). There's something for every type of creator/creative out there, 11/10 highly recommend.

Anyway, here's what I'll be up to as a guest during all three days under the read more. (tl;dr conclusion, if you plan to attend and want to meet up, message me!)

Thursday

Original presentation (academics track): Folklore of the American South. An overview of myths, monsters, and old wives' tales from the rich storytelling heritage of the Southern States. AKA I finally have a platform to yell about my cultural heritage and by golly am I gonna yell about it! 10 am (yes it's a bit early, but I swear it'll be worth it! Y'all know you wanna hear about the Rougarou the destiny-determining powers of cornbread!)

Friday

Panelist: Shellshocked: Writing PTSD. Injecting realism into and dispelling myths surrounding characters with PTSD. AKA how flashbacks do and do not work, how to avoid making your character a caricature, and how to be sensitive so you don't use peoples' actual lived experiences as a sensationalist, reductionist cash grab. 10 am.

Panelist: Life After Coming Out. How to feature queer characters in more than just coming-out plots. AKA OwnVoices is not an excuse to exclude the reality of queer people in your built universes; don't write a story that's not yours to tell, but for the love of all things holy there's more stories to tell about queer folks than just The Big Realization! 11 am. (whew mercy, they gonna have me hoofin it all across that hotel RIP my ankles and my asthma)

Panelist: Fat Doesn't Mean Unfit. What it says on the tin. AKA a bunch of chubby folks are gonna demolish your fatphobia and why that's an important and good thing. Also I have a degree in health so I will be demolishing that fatphobia scientifically. 5 pm.

Saturday

Moderator: Dining Throughout History. A panel about how food, meals, and feeding communities did and did not work throughout history. AKA ancient Romans absolutely DID have takeout on the regular, and you're not a failure for not making 3 square meals a day at home with all-fresh all-natural ingredients. I mean, your characters aren't failures.... Yeah. That. 9 am.

Panelist: Nonnormative Relationships and You. The whats, whys, and hows of all the different non-romantic/nonsexual relationships your characters can find themselves in. AKA no shade to the romance crowd, but can we please stop forcing characters to kiss just because they're in physical or emotional proximity??? 11 am.

Moderator/Facilitator: Do-It-Yourself Medical Care: Hands-On First Aid. Come learn how to effectively injure and care for your characters by actually doing it! The caring part, not the injury part. We do not condone irl violence in the Marriott and as mod I will be obligated to fight you if you attempt to injure another participant. I can tell you right now as a both a stress crying asthmatic and the parent of a toddler with professional experience handling and subduing dangerous animals, it will be highly embarrassing for everyone involved. I seriously cannot tell you how excited I am for this one! It's me and four other authors who are also trained in medicine/health, so we're working hard to make this an informative and relevant experiential learning opportunity. They're only giving us 45 minutes, unfortunately, but we're already coordinating to try and pack in the most opportunities and most interesting exercises possible. It's gonna be so fun!! 1 pm, do not be late, we can only fit so many people and training dummies into the room!

Moderator: A Brighter Future: Solarpunk Fiction. A panel discussing the Solarpunk genre, why it's relevant, the ways conflict and worldbuilding would be different in a Solarpunk setting, etc. AKA a bunch of neohippies walked into a bar professional panel and decided to rant about sustainable living. 3 pm.

The rest of the time I'll be flitting around attending panels and presentations, checking out the art show and vendors room, socializing/networking, generally vibing, and maybe getting in a few pitch sessions. If you want to meet up, shoot me a message! I'm always open to Friending, and I know all the good places to grab lunch.

[erythromanc3r]

Annual writing self-evaluation

I was tagged by @pipergirl17 (and I'm so glad she did - thank you, friend!)

1. List of works published this year (in no particular order):

Better Living Through Chemistry

Among the Willows

It ain't fiction, just a natural fact

kiss me where you bruise me

2. Work you are most proud of (and why):

I'm proud of all my children but I'm most proud of myself for writing Among the Willows because it really did start as just vibes and it ended up being a lovely little vignette of a moment in time that I put a lot of research and love into. Honorable mention to Better Living Through Chemistry because it was my first PWP and I personally thought it was a unique and fun take on sex pollen.

3. Work you are least proud of (and why):

[buzzer noise] I am proud of ALL my children!!!!

4. A favorite excerpt of your writing:

I loved this exchange at the tail-end of kiss me where you bruise me because it was a good exercise in writing some post-coital awkwardness between two people who don't know each other all that well while still acknowledging that there's the potential for something more there. And I needed Eddie to take any opportunity to be a little softer and sillier bc he desperately wants Chrissy to not see him as mean and scary!

“I’m…good,” he says, throwing his palms up and flattening his lips into a tight, awkward smile. He’s looking for his right sock — she knows it’s on the other side of the mattress. Chrissy doesn’t know if it’s rude or not to grab it, worried Eddie might think she’s pushing him out when she’s not quite sure where she’d prefer he be. The red light of the alarm clock on the bedside table burns a bright 1:37 into the dark when she asks another question, maybe just to cut through the awkward silence. “Are you okay to drive home? It’s late.” (Where is home for Eddie Munson, anyway?) He smiles to himself a little before he answers her. “Nah. I’m a bit of a nocturnal creature, actually.” He throws two hands up, fingers curled out like he’s doing a vampire pose during a game of charades. “Still got a couple hours left in me.”

5. Share or describe a favorite comment you received:

I'm a big fan of the incoherent flailing but I also really love when people engage with the details of the fic and tell me something they really loved about a particular line or description! I just love and appreciate getting comments in general!

6. A time when writing was really, really hard:

November. Something about that month just zapped the energy out of me. This seemed to be a hard time for a lot of us for one reason or another…I propose we move NaNoWriMo to like…March or June or something because November is NOT it.

8. How did you grow as a writer this year:

I gained a lot of confidence. I stopped obsessing over every line being perfect because I would rather have a finished product that others can enjoy instead of a gorgeous, perfect wip that no one else can read. And now that I’m not chasing validation (both internal and external) the process is way less stressful!

9. How do you hope to grow next year:

I want to be more consistent! I want to explore more outlining methods, write more productively…and I want to be a beacon for other writers who are new to the process because the community aspect is so important.

10. Who was your greatest positive influence this year as a writer (could be another writer or beta or cheerleader or muse etc etc):

@staceymcgillicuddy is a rockstar of a writer whose work ethic amazes me. @pipergirl17 my angel in the comments your work is gorgeous and you’re so kind. Extra special shoutout to everyone who writes fearlessly and freakishly because we’re all better for it. And everyone who encourages writers to keep going!

11. Anything in your real life show up in your writing this year:

Wouldn’t you like to know? Ummm honestly though nothing super personal but it ain’t fiction came to me over nights of sitting on my couch watching old metal videos on MTV classic and wishing those two kids made it out of Indiana and got a shot at their dreams.

12. Any new wisdom you can share with other writers:

The time will pass! Writing is vulnerable and embarrassing but I am more embarrassed by the years I spent not pursuing this hobby and letting all those ideas never leave my brain than by ANYTHING I’ve published.

13. Any new projects you’re looking forward to starting (or finishing) in the new year:

I want to prioritize finishing all my multichapter wips…but I also want to explore more historical AUs.

14. Tag three writers/artists whose answers you’d like to read:

(But only if you want to 👉👈)

@justhere4thevibez, @toodivineforhumanmind, @0nemorestranger

[nancypullen]

Monday

Greetings, dear readers! Didn't mean to leave you hanging, we've been semi-busy (it's never truly busy around here) and I am also a lazy writer - that combination left this space blank for a few days. Oops. I'll pick up where I left you hanging. California! We had planned to go Wednesday morning, but the mister didn't sleep well Tuesday night and wasn't feeling it. We pushed it back a day and departed Thursday morning around 8am. It was a two hour drive for us, first over the bridge and then south toward Virginia.

It was a pretty drive, not a whole lot to see in that stretch between Annapolis and California. We timed it from Edgewater and it would still be about an hour from the grandgirl. I'd love to be closer, but A) real estate prices are insane there, and B) it's hard to find a place that isn't in a congested area. We like peace and quiet. The flip side of that is giving up a lot of conveniences for that peace and quiet. UNLESS...

You move to California! I brought a list of houses currently for sale in the community so that we could check out different neighborhoods and decide what we liked and what we didn't. They were all pretty, but our favorite neighborhood was definitely Wildewood. It felt like an enchanted forest, but with pools and tennis courts. The homes were lovely, everything was manicured and neat, and people were out on walking trails. Very good vibe. Best of all, just two minutes away, as you drive out of the beautifully landscaped entrance to this serene neighborhood...SHOPPING! Everything from Lowes to Ulta, five grocery stores, and a bazillion restaurants from cowboy bbq to Thai food. Even a 12-plex movie theater! I asked the mister to stop at Sally Beauty so I could stock up on hair stuff, and JoAnn so I could grab loads of paper for card making - two things I haven't been able to do for two years. Not gonna' lie, it felt wonderfully normal, another thing that hasn't happened for two years. It was comparable to our situation in Mt. Juliet - quiet living but everything you could want or need just a few minutes away. I'm sure California has its drawbacks, we were just there for one quick visit, but it's very appealing to me right now. The only fault that I could find with the homes in the Wildewood subdivision is that there were very few single story homes, and the ones that did exist were probably smaller than we'd be happy with. We need to downsize our "stuff" anyway, 40+ years of marriage, kids, and life takes up a lot of space. We don't need it all. Mickey does need an office space, and we'll always need room for family to visit - but maybe we can figure that out in less square footage. So, having yammered on about getting rid of stuff and downsizing, on Saturday we ran down the road and bought some of the cutest Halloween decor! In my defense, it was all half price. I'm willing to get rid of clothing and shoes to make room for Halloween stuff. It all started with a Facebook post...

The couple behind these creations has decided to retire from traveling around to craft shows and they're unloading their inventory at 50% off. I'm sorry, but fall decor on sale is my heroin.

They had a bunch of Xmas stuff too, but I wasn't interested. Though Santa is my homeboy, I'm still team pumpkin. This was my haul for $34!

It had to pass inspection, but it all received the witch's cat stamp of approval.

Left to right, the boo sign will go beside the front door with a small pumpkin. The welcome sign will be at the bottom of the front steps with some mums. The pumpkin with spiders will probably sit beside a porch chair, and this...

will sit on my kitchen window sill with some tiny pumpkins. I'm ridiculously excited about all of it.

In other news I finally started painting the desk/hutch combo that I picked up for seven bucks. Remember this?

It's been patiently waiting for some color. First we had 100+ degree days, then we had a stretch of rainy days - so I waited. Yesterday I cleaned it up, took off the hardware, and got busy. it's far from finished, but she's looking very feminine now.

I've barely started on the hutch - just a quick slap of the ivory in places to lay a foundation. That top detail that's still brown will get a coat too. It'll get a second coat and then I'll go in with small brushes and tidy up all of the lines and add gold details. The little scalloped edging at the top and middle will be gold and so will the finials. I'll probably buy new drawer pulls, I'm undecided. I don't like the old ones but they're also not the ugliest I've ever seen. I'm also debating whether or not to trail flowers across the ivory section. It would be gorgeous, but since I'm actually going to fill those shelves, it might end up looking too busy. Anyway, I've just started her makeover and I'm enjoying the process. Can't wait to finish it and move it into my craft room. Does anyone remember me mentioning downsizing? Yeah, it's going really well.

And while we're on the subject of makeovers (kind of), I'm very glad I made that stop at Sally Beauty while we were in California. A few weeks ago I mentioned that I'm finished with hair color. I made an appointment for a cut and asked the stylist to do some heavy highlights on my crown so I could just let the white grow in without an obvious line of color/white. I paid a big chunk of money to have that done. As far as I could see it didn't change a damn thing. She only left the potion on for fifteen minutes, and nothing works on my hair in fifteen minutes. My hair won't even budge in under 30 minutes and that's only if using powerful chemicals and sacrificing a goat. So I was a little bummed, even though the stylist kept repeating, "That lightened it a little..." the only thing lighter was my wallet. I was still yellow with a white stripe. So, like I do, I researched a bit and realized that since I was already a light blonde, all I really needed was a toner to remove any yellow. Wella T18 seemed to be the toner many online hair professionals recommended. I picked up a box at Sally and then waited until I was in the mood to handle a possible disaster. Best case scenario, it would make me platinum. Worst case scenario it might turn my whole head purple and I don't know how to reverse that. I decided to roll the dice yesterday. I figured that if it turned everything purple I'd just act like it was on purpose. Lo and behold, it worked! I hate that the only photo I have to share is a creepy one, but it's about the hair, not my face. I'd just started the drying process, so have mercy on my poofy hair.

No yellow, no white stripe! Hooray! Whyyyy did I spend money on invisible highlights when the solution was $15 and a lot less time than I spent in the salon chair? The good news is that I'll never do it again. I added sparkle to the background of that photo to make it look like a celebration, I hope no one thinks that's my bathroom wallpaper.

Raise your hand if you've had enough of my rambling.

Yeah, me too. I just crammed several days worth of stuff into one blog post and there was no flow. Probably felt like walking through a house of mirrors. Bonk! No exit! I'm trying very hard not to comment on the political climate right now, all I will say is that I have hope. 99 days.

I'm sending out gobs of love, take as much as you need and pass it on. I hope you're out there leaving a trail of love and glitter and happiness behind you. More tomorrow. Until then, stay safe, stay well. XOXO, Nancy