#anyways handling emotional responses to what a character does in a story is hard!!!

[acutecoral]

Broooo, just the immediate feeling of my stomach dropping when I saw a clip of Jaiden finding the Fear room in Cellbit's castle...and that knee-jerk reaction of feeling upset and defensive.

I always have to remember that these feelings are understandable on my side and it wouldn't do to downplay what I feel. I know Endless and I are very invested in Cellbit's character and story, so it's natural to feel that way!

So we took one breath and another and watched.

I had to remind myself who exactly found the Fear room in the first place, and though I don't really main or watch much of Jaiden's streams, the way she turned down the urge to take pictures of it helped ease my worries. I don’t know why, but just that choice alone reminded me that she's not really reckless in these sorts of things. She's careful in what she shares and who she trusts, and doesn't seem to share too about what she knows.

So while she may know now that it exists and entered it, I don’t feel it's something that she'll end up using against Cellbit. She's not really the type, I don't think so from what I've seen and read about her character.

I mean, it's kind of similar to her and Foolish breaking into the vault and taking the happy pills. From how I understood it, they just did it to prove that they can, and as far as I remember, they gave back the pills easy enough.

Also, the only person Jaiden is intended to and will only likely tell it to is Foolish, who considers Cellbit as part of his family, so it's not like he'll use the information against him either or take advantage it in a way that would hurt his son-in-law. He cares too much to really do anything like that.

As far as I know of their characters, they'll probably keep it to themselves until it's relevant, or they may end up just going back together and see it for themselves and leave a mark to show Cellbit that they were there if they feel like it, just like they did with the vault. Or they may confront Cellbit about the room and what it is to get some answers, in their special chaotic way.

Though this is a bit different from the situation with the vault I think, since this place is hidden and made to be secret and safe. In any case, just something to see what they'll decide to do in the end. I'm curious where it'll lead.

That being said, personally, I'm comforting myself with the idea of Roier having reassured himself that Cellbit was not kidnapped this time by going into the Fear room like he did earlier in his stream after Cellbit went to sleep and Roier decides to cuddles up with him in that small as bed (there was only one bed omg...), and when Jaiden breaks in she finds the two of them there, both with deep and dark eyebags marring their faces, obviously exhausted and tired. She snoops a bit before being satisfied and decides to later drag Foolish into the room and the two of them leave things to make things extra cosy and comfy for them.

[blitzbuckzowild]

On Stolitz, Kink and Power Dynamics, and Role Reversal - Stolas Centric

So, I have been thinking a lot about the kink dynamics between Stolas and Blitzø, especially how they are portrayed in the show vs. what is popular (or more popular than you’d think) among fan works. A lot of this has probably been said, but I am unsure what has and has not, and I have only recently begun to interact with the community.

For some background, I have about 10 years of experience within the kink/BDSM lifestyle including several long-term dynamics as both Dom and sub, attendance to events, extensive engagement in online forums, etc. I’ve been in many types of dynamics and have a good understanding of the culture.

We have very little knowledge on the intricacies of the dynamic between Stolas and Blitzø but from what I can gather its a pretty standard one without very much structure. This makes sense seeing as before recent canon events, their scenes are primarily limited to once a month. There is no evidence of switching that I can find in the show, most likely they stay firm in their roles of Blitzø as Dom and Stolas as sub. There is the comment during the Loo Loo Land episode, where Blitzø say “wait till her dad tries diddling your holes”, but the keyword being “tries.” Now obviously he could be receiving penetration, but I find it hard to believe that there is any actual control given to Stolas.

This structure obviously allows for some entertaining role reversal, and (on the surface level at least) mitigates some of the issues with the power at the same time. I find myself often wondering how people would regard the dynamic between them if Blitzø was portrayed as the sub. It obviously doesn’t really fit his character as he is now, but it is a thought.

Anyway, the point is actually to explore the idea of a role reversal between the two and what this can represent. Obviously, a lot of this has been touched on in fan-works, and probably other posts, but primarily in the framework of Blitzø’s experience subbing. I think that is well-established that a lot of the draw for Blitzø to submit is the idea of him being vulnerable and letting go of control. There are many works that focus on this.

But what about Stolas? That’s something I haven’t seen a lot of.

Stolas is passive. Even if he snarks back at Blitzø and does set some boundaries a bit at the beginning of Apology Tour, and he does tease and push, it’s really not substantial. Even with Full Moon, even with the crystal, he is still so submissive to everything that happens around him. He makes his grand gesture and throws the ball in Blitzø’s court until he can’t handle what that looks like. He let’s things just happen to him for the most part. So a lot of his character growth in the show focuses on him gaining confidence and taking initiative.

Even in Apology Tour, at the Blitzø Hate party, he makes it clear where he stands on what he wants his role in a relationship to be. He wants to be pursued, like a woman in a rom-com who stereotypically and historically takes a passive role to whatever confident or goofy hunk wants her. Sure, she wants him (usually), but typically she is not doing the pursuing. Instead she rolls her eyes and things happen to her.

Stolas taking on a dominant role, taking control, even in the context of kink, can be symbolic for him learning ambition and initiative. Everything has been decided for him and he’s letting Blitzø’s actions and responses make the decision for him. Even with Octavia, he acts as if he is collateral to her behavior and emotions. It’s fair for him to want Blitzø pursue him and to take accountability. However, at some point he needs to pursue as well. You could say that the crystal was an instance in which he did? But was it really when at the first sign of resistance from Blitzø, he folds and pull back.

All this to say, there can be some really great story telling using their BDSM dynamics. I don’t really expect the show to address this, because I think there are some intricacies here that can only be appreciated by those really involved in the BDSM lifestyle, and honestly I am not sure how knowledgeable the writers are about it outside of the mainstream knowledge (Well mainstream compared to someone like me.)

With the deal ended, and the power dynamics somewhat balancing out, the door is really opened for this type of thing. There isn’t as much baggage in Blitzø being portrayed in a sub role. The class divide is still there, but Stolas no longer holds all of the cards

There is waaaay more I can say on this in regard to the roles of sub and Dom and how they relate to Stolas and Blitzø but this is already so long. Some things to consider would be the the actual emotional needs that are filled by each role, the ways relationships in dynamics develop, different BDSM subcultures and theories on the nature of their dynamic, and more of my thoughts on how their current dynamic with Stolas subbing and Blitzø Domming impacting perceptions of their previous arrangement by viewers, how Blitzø is already submissive to Stolas in ways, the general emotional state of people when engaging in kink, etc. I could also provide my own thoughts on Blitzø subbing but I feel it’s already well addressed in the fandom.

Maybe I’ll do a part 2 if it’s wanted or I get the will. I would love to engage in any discussion (agreeing or otherwise) on this, I probably missed some things, or interpreted stuff differently than others.

And here is a Poll to wrap this up

[bluebearial]

The Real You

7.5k words

You want to get something special for your plushie GF! But all they have are some weird, heart-shaped pillows that cause a few… changes.

Contains TF, bimbofication, and a lot of snuggling. Gets a little saucy in one part but no actual sex happens.

This one was hard to write!! I cut and redid a good chunk of this a few times. As silly as it sounds I wanted it to be a fun bimbofication story while also keeping it from getting too silly? I wanted it to feel genuine and explore lupa’s character a bit. At the same time I didn’t want it to get too emotional. The tonal shift would’ve been distracting and it didn’t feel good to write. You might see where those parts would’ve been but who knows maybe I cleaned it up well enough teehee

I dunno if I wanna even call it a bimbofication thing anymore? It feels deeper than that

Anyway no more rambling, full story below the cut. Can be found on google docs for your convenience as well.

You lean against the handle of your shopping cart, studying your grocery list through squinted eyes.

“Milk… eggs, chicken, fruit, bread…”

You brush a lock of hair away from your face, tucking it behind your ear. You’ve gotten basically everything. Everything except…

“Pillows…”

You feel a tinge of frustration. Reading that word prompts you to recount the events of the past two hours. You recall entering the store, as one does, and you recall that after getting your food, you started looking for Lupa’s food. Lupa was a… “carnivore”…? You assumed as much at least, from the feral way your housemate-slash-maybe-girlfriend tore her pillows apart when she ate them. Either way, you were looking for something special for her. You and Lupa have only been getting closer, so you figured you’d treat her to something special! No more generic pillows for her – time for something more fitting for a wolf like her. Now, if only you could find the right ones…

--

An “Oh, there you are” is the first thing you hear as you tote your groceries through the door. You find Lupa splayed on the couch, looking at nothing in particular through a half-lidded eye. The hulking wolf sits up with a long, drawn-out stretch and a whiny yawn.

“What took you so long, dude?” she asks, resting leaning against the armrest as she looks back at you. “It’s so boring around here. Not like there’s much to even do. I can’t--…” Her mouth was open, ready to continue her thought, but the instant she looks at you, her face softens.

“Hey, you alright?” She’s already out of her seat and thumping her way towards you. She kneels down to take your bags, but the size of her paws makes it a little difficult to get her fingers through the loops in the handles. She settles for just grabbing them, pulling them from your hands and setting them on the counter. Then, she kneels in front of you, letting you fall into her big, soft arms.

“What even happened out there, dude?” She asks as she cradles you, taking you towards the couch. “Y’look like you’ve been through a warzone.”

“Long day at work… and a long day at the store,” you offer sleepily as she takes a seat with you. You shuffle in her grasp, sitting up so you’re sitting in her lap. The way her paw feels as she strokes your hair is so relaxing...

“Wow. Two long days in one day, huh? Tch. Now how’d that happen?” she teases.

“You know what I mean,” you answer a little more indignantly than you’d intended, but she just snickers in return. She’s always had a way of teasing you in a way that gets under your skin, but usually not in a way that really bothers you.

“Just sayin’.” She stops stroking to give you a shrug. “It jus’ doesn’t make much sense to me.”

You roll your eyes, biting down a response before you say something you might regret. Looking at the confident smirk on her face, you know that she’s just begging for a response. Some banter in return. You know she was just trying to be funny. It’s her way of trying to cheer you up, and it usually worked! But right now, it was annoying you more than anything else. God, you really are tired. So, instead of dwelling on it, you opt to move on.

“Hey, Lulu. I got something for you while I was out.” You could practically feel her perk up. Her tail sweeps the couch for a few seconds.

“Huh? Oh yeah? What didja get, Squirt? Somethin’ yummy, I hope.”

You pat Lupa’s arm, and she lets you go. You stand up, despite your body’s protests, and meander to the counter. You grab a bag, pulling one of the heart-shaped pillows out, turning it so its message of ‘I Love You!~’ is in full view. Lupa snickers.

“Ha! Alright, look. I…” She pauses. You could see her tail wag – slowly and discreetly, as if it would apologize just for moving. “…I mean, wow, uh. I love you too, but ain’t this kinda… I dunno, chintzy? Even for you?” She asks in her usual, brusque way.

“I know…” You practically deflate on the spot. You could feel the weight of the past few hours begin to bear down on you all at once. “I wanted to get you these really cute ones that were bone-shaped, but they ran ouuuut... All they had was this old leftover stock from Valentine’s Day…”

“Well—Hey, look…” She scrambles to comfort you in her own sweet, if a little clumsy, way. She holds out a paw, motioning you over. “It’s the thought that counts, right? Here, toss it to me.”

You do just that, and she easily catches it in her mitt. The wolf turns the pillow over in her grip, scanning over its glittery, scarlet form with a discerning eye. She pulls on it, giving it a good stretch.

Then, she licks it.

She ends up giving it a slow lick, but her eye lights up the moment her tongue touches it. She licks it again, quicker this time, before rapidly lapping it with her tongue.

“Pretty good, huh?” you ask, feeling a bit of your confidence return as you approach her.

“Yeah. Yeah, actually!” She bites into it with a ferocity that makes you flinch. You should be used to it by now, but Lupa can be surprisingly rough with her food. She loudly tears a piece from it. She sticks her paw inside, tugging out a few tufts of stuffing and tossing them into her waiting maw. The sounds of gleeful, open-mouthed chewing fill the room… As you watch her, a question bubbles to the forefront of your mind. It’s a question that you’ve meant to ask for some time, but something would always keep you from opening your mouth.

“…Hey, Lupa?”

You’d dip your proverbial toes into the pool, and the wolf pauses her chewing to offer a muffled “Whuht?”

“What does it taste like?” The way she tilts her head gives you pause. “The pillow, I mean—”

“I know you mean the pillow, dude,” she retorts with a roll of her eye. She swallows, before clearing her throat. “It’s liiike… Sweet, I guess? The stuffing’s got a smooth taste, and the little, uh…” She trails off, brushing her paw against what’s left of the pillow’s exterior. The way that the glitter twinkles in the light is hard to ignore…

“These, shiny things—”

“Glitter?” you cut in. She nods.

“Yeah, glitter. They’re like… These little grains of sweetness, like—"

“Like sugar?”

“Yeah!”

It makes sense, you suppose. From the sound of it, the pillows you got her were basically like big, sugary cakes. If that was the case, then… If you got those bone-shaped ones like you intended to, would they have tasted like… soft bones?

“Well…” you start, but a yawn shoves its way amidst your sentence, “I’m glad you like it. There’s a whole bag of ‘em for you on the counter,” you sigh, pointing to the bags filled with pillows behind you. You rub your eyes as you climb up onto her, wrapping your arms around her middle and burying your face into her chest. Lupa pats your back, coaxing a relaxed sigh out of you with only a few gentle rubs. Pat-pat-pat. It's a routine that the two of you had learned during your time together.

You have plenty of time to react, to back out, but you’re much too comfy to bother. She offers a soothing ‘shhhhh…~’ as she hefts you closer, pressing your face into her thickly-furred chest. You’d realized you forgot to make dinner, or to even shower once you’d come home. It’s a fleeting thought which dissipates as you hear the breeze outside, as though the wind itself had blown your worries away. Soon, you find yourself drifting to sleep. You do manage to eek out one last thought, however.

“G’night, Lulu…”

“My name’s not ‘Lulu’, dweeeeb.” Lupa’s groan sounds muffled. Distant, though you could barely make out its indignant tone. You’re already well on your way to dreamland, so her voice is a faraway echo.

--

You wake up. Begrudgingly.

A ray of light hits your eye with the kind of precision that makes you wonder if the heavens themselves wanted to wake you up. You have no choice but to oblige, but it’s not like you’re going to be happy about it. You indignantly squeeze the soft, grey plush that you’re hugging, affectionately rubbing your cheek against it as you long to return to your peaceful slumber.

“Hey, Lulu—Lupa?” You ask your plush, catching yourself as you remember Lupa’s complaint from the previous night. “What time is it…?” You at least remember that it’s the weekend as well. No panicking about your job, no specific time at which you need to wake up. You hug your plush closer, letting out a content little murmur and nuzzling into its short, fuzzy pelt. She doesn’t respond.

“Lupa?” you ask again, slightly more alert this time around. Maybe she’s just as sleepy as you. Dragging her out of bed is always a trial. However… You sluggishly come to realize that the plush you’re hugging feels… different. It lacks the warmth you’d come to expect from your friend. Its fur is too short, feeling more like a layer of fuzz instead of a thick pelt. You tear your face away from it, and—Oh. This isn’t Lupa.

It’s one of your other plushes! It’s in the form of a small lizard – no, a kobold, you remember – with dark brown hair that’s streaked with soft, pink highlights. It wears a small, pink shirt with a white heart… You think you named this one… Jennifer? You feel a little bad for nearly forgetting its name, but it’s been so long. You usually keep this one tucked away in your bedroom... What’s Jen doing here, though? And where’s Lupa?

Leaving it on the couch, you sit up and wipe the sleep from your eyes. It’s not like Lupa to leave you in bed like this. Why, you’re almost offended. You could practically feel your joints creak as you stand up, and take a much-needed moment to stretch. Your body yearns for more downtime, but you really ought to find your friend first. You feel pretty confident that you could convince her to come back to bed with you. Maybe you’ll opt for your real bed, though. That couch is rough.

A hollow, plastic thump from the bathroom is your first and only lead. It sounds like a shampoo bottle hitting the floor, maybe? What’s she doing in there...? It’s not like her to try and take a shower.

But… As you lift your shirt to your nose and wince, you figure that once you find her, maybe you could probably get cleaned up.

“Hey, Lupa?” You call as you knock on the door. No response. You knock again, and still nothing. You’d almost assume there was nobody inside, if it weren’t for that recurring shuffling noise, only broken up by the occasional sound of an object hitting the floor. Then, you hear what could only be described as a plastic avalanche.

“Lu—” Oh, forget it. You don’t bother calling her again. You turn the knob and abruptly shove the door open. Thankfully, it wasn’t locked. “Lupa, are you… okay…?”

Your bathroom was already on the smaller side, even without bottles of shampoo, conditioner, oil, and bodywash littering what little floorspace there is. You look at the floor for only a brief moment, just to make sure you don’t trip over anything, because the mess isn’t what really grabs your attention.

It takes your bleary eyes and sleep-addled mind a moment to catch up with what you’re seeing. A wolf, covered in a bright, pink coat of fur, is leaned over the sink. At least, you think it’s a wolf? She’s tall, heavyset, and her wagging tail is busy sweeping the shelves and adding to the mess on the floor. From the way she swears under her breath as she glares into the mirror, she looks agitated about something. Her green collar jingles as she shifts her weight, using her fat paws to mess with her blonde hair. Seams line her joints, giving her a plush, toylike look. It reminds you of another wolf that you know…

“Oh—” A piece of red fabric slips from her paws, gliding to the floor. The… wolf, lets out a sigh as she bends over to pick it up. “I swear, fifth time this morning…” She softly whines, “I’m like, never gonna get this ri—”

Her gaze meets yours, and she freezes. You suddenly feel a lot more aware of your own presence in this small room. Your eyes are as wide as dinnerplates as you stare into her singular, golden eye. You don’t know what she’s going to do- you don’t even know what to say – words don’t come easy when you’re this tired. Thankfully, she speaks first.

“Ohmygosh, you’re awake!!~☆” Before you can react, she scoops you up into her arms! She nuzzles your cheek, planting kiss after kiss on you as you try to push her away. “Oh, I’m so glad you’re finally here! You were still asleep so I wanted to like, get a head start on the day!”

“H-Hey! Stop!” You shout, hands firmly pressed against her cheeks in an effort to counter her assault. But that only stops her from kissing you. The plush switches tactics, pressing you against her heavy chest. And it is heavy. Lupa was already very… ‘Soft’, you’d say, but this chest was even bigger. A thick layer of fur sits on top of it too, like a dewlap, giving it an even rounder, fuzzier shape… She rubs you against her body, swaying her thick hips and letting out quiet, affectionate canine whines...

Pah!! You gasp for air once you push yourself away from her for a second time. You’re still in her grip, though, and she looks down at you with a warm smile.

“Who, are you.” You ask as you take a moment to breathe. “Where’s Lupa?”

Your intruder tilts her head, letting out a confused “Wruff?” She then puts a paw on her hip, giving you a look. You try to wriggle out of her grip, but you find that her other arm is more than strong enough to keep you where you are. You close your eye as she tightens her hold a bit, smushing you up against the lower half of her white bust.

“Um, duhhh. You’re like, looking right at her?” She replies with a roll of her eye, a playfully indignant edge to her otherwise cheery voice. She’s picked up a bit of an accent too. It’s not an accent you’ve heard since you lived in Cali. She giggles. It’s an especially bubbly, girly sound as she covers her mouth with a pink paw. But. Wait.

This is Lupa?

“But—Lu—Wh—How--” How, how could this be possible? You shake your head in an effort to keep your thoughts in order, “You look. Different, though.” Her expression wilts, and her shoulders sink as she lets out a sigh...

“I knooooowww….” comes her drawn out reply, punctuated as she dejectedly looks at the floor. Before you can ask what to do, she continues. “I haven’t been able to like, put my hair up at all today…”

“I- That’s- Don’t you think you’re kinda missing the point?” You ask slowly. Forget the hair, what about everything else?

“Ouhh,,,” she groans… “Could you like, gimme a paw, Babe? I look terrible without my ponytail!” She runs her paws through her smooth, blonde mane for emphasis, lifting it up before letting it drop past her shoulders once more. “Like, I’m totally not myself at all…”

You grimace. She’s not listening…

“…Alright.” You settle on a simply reply, but your mind is racing. You decide to accept it. For now. You get the feeling that – if this really is Lupa, your chances of getting through to her right now are slim. “I’ll, uh, I’ll help you.” She lights right up in response, her eye sparkling with simple adoration. Her tail starts wagging again, turning into a pink and white blur!

“Really? Oh, thanks hun!~” She lilts, voice dripping with an uncharacteristically sugary sweetness, squeezing you into another hug before mercifully letting you go. You pick up the bow that she’d dropped before, and you follow her back to the mirror. You pull a small box out from under the counter. Stepping onto it, you get to work. You’re a good deal more dexterous than your lupine buddy, so you’re able to tie her hair up easily enough. You’ve done a good job at collecting it into a fluffy ponytail. With so much hair to work with, it still reaches down to her hips. You give the ends of her bow a few gentle tugs, just to make sure it’s tight, before letting go.

“And… done. What do you think?”

She hums as she looks over her reflection, leaning in once more. Her chest smushes against the sink, letting out the quietest little squeee~eak as she applies more pressure. While she’s busy, you take the opportunity to study her a bit more closely…

She runs her bright, pink paws through her hair, combing it straight with her sparkly, magenta claws. She tilts her head one way, then the other, causing her doglike ears to flop to the side. Those ears… They’re probably the biggest things that confused you when you first saw her.

Aside from. Everything else.

However, thanks to those ears, you couldn’t tell whether she was really a wolf or not. Right now, she looks more like a big dog... Her tail lazily swings behind her, and it’s hard to ignore the way it baps against your side.

At least that part’s still the same.

What isn’t the same is how… short, it is? No, not short. As you grab it, you realize that it’s just completely curled up now, to the point where it no longer drags along the floor. Pure white fur covers the end and bottom of it, with a dark purple border separating it from the rest of her pink coat. A few purple spots cover the rest of her, mainly her haunches, ears, and the entirety of one of her feet. She hums as she continues to inspect herself, her tail pausing its assault now that you’re stroking it. She straightens up and presses and squeezes her chest. …And you blush a bit for even noticing, but it’s definitely bigger. It looks much softer too, with a dewlap-like tuft of fur resting on top of it and accentuating its inviting softness.

The spikes on her collar are completely gone. You could hear the jingle of its now heart-shaped zipper handle as it bounces against her chest. She’s hefting it now, pursing her plump, glossy, pink lips… After a while, she seems to be satisfied.

“I think I look great, hun~” She lilts, looking back down at you with a warm grin. “Thank you so much!” Even her voice is smoother, higher than before, with none of its former gruffness to be found.

“You’re… welcome!” You try your best to sound convinced! From the way her expression dampens, she isn’t fully buying it…

“Is something wrong, hun?” She asks, tilting her head. You aren’t sure what’s worse. The way you feel, or the fact that she figured you out so easily.

“Well—” You hesitate. “You’re…” She tilts her head the other way, ears flopping to the other side. “Lulu, something’s wrong. Sorry- I mean, Lupa—”

“Lulu?” she cuts in. Stunned, you look up at her. That was the first time her voice didn’t sound like it was dipped in sugar. She almost sounded normal…

“Um— Yeah…? It’s like, the nickname I use… You um, you say you don’t like it, but I keep using it ‘cause of the way your tail wags and, well, it’s—"

“Oh, honey.”

She cuts your rambling short. Lulu kneels down in front of you, and her heavy paws rest on your shoulders. With how sweet her new demeanor was up to this point, the hardness of her expression is almost scary.

“I. Fluffin’.

LOVE IT~!”

You watch as she jumps up, throwing her arms toward the ceiling! Her tail wags anew, threatening to lay waste to whatever might be behind her.

“Lulu…~” She repeats affectionately, “It’s like, soooo me~ Why wouldn’t I think it’s, like, totally adorbs?” Then, she gasps! She leans towards you, chest wobbling with the sudden movement. “Can you like, never ever stop calling me that? Pleeease?~”

You simply nod, still at a total loss.

“Yaaaay~!” She cheers! “I’m Lulu now…~ Mnhehehee, waff waff!~ Wrraff wraff wraff—”

“Lulu!” you plead over your friend’s excited barking.

“Wrruff? Ohhh… You like, had a question, right? Hehehe, sorry, sorry!” She giggles, before gently bonking herself with a balled-up paw. “I like, totally forgot…~ I’m like, suuuch an airhead today~” She offers a grin, swaying her hips as her tail swings left and right.

“…Or am I like, a stuffing…head?” She hums as she navigates this new conundrum, only snapped out of it as you put a hand on her thigh.

“Wrff?”

“Lulu, follow me.”

“’Kay!~”

You leave the bathroom with her, and you’re happy to be out of that stuffy, tight room. You lead her toward the couch, sitting down and patting the space next to you. She follows suit, but opts to climb on, laying her head on your lap. Without thinking, your hand rests atop her head, right between those floppy, spotted ears. She lets out a pleased little huff, smiling widely…

“So, Lup— Lulu. How do you feel…?” You opt to start small. You don’t have a plan, but you want to get to the bottom of this in some way.

“Like, I was pretty good before, but now…? Wrrffhfhh,,,~” She lilts, voice airy with scritch-fueled bliss. She rolls onto her back, wiggling and pushing herself further onto you. She’s got her paws folded up on either side of her chest, and she cutely looks up at you.

“Like, can you rub my tummy? Um, please?”

The question catches you off guard. Lupa would never.

Well. That’s a lie. Lupa would, but you recall the ways she would dress the question up.

‘You should like— rub my belly or whatever. If you want.’

‘Hey. Wolves need rubs. So…’

‘Hey, can you… Y’know, uh—'

And that’s if she even asks at all. You remember being the one to take the initiative usually. Judging from the way she reacted to them, and the way she’s asking now… You hum as you start connecting some dots. You know that this is Lupa, at least in some form. You know that she’s acting a lot like her, but in a way that’s… well, different. You aren’t sure how to describe it yet.

“Sure,” you reply, and your hands go right to her soft, round belly. She arches her back as your fingers sift through her dense, white fur… Her tongue slips between her lips, flopping to one side… She closes her eye, splaying her fingers and squirming in your lap.

“So.  Lulu…” You try to get things back on track.

“Wrrffhhhyeahh…?~”

“Do you feel any… different, at all?” You venture. “Does anything feel… I dunno, off?”

“Hhmnhh~I’m not…?” She hums as her tail sweeps the couch. “Whadda shame…~ Are you, liiike, pawsitively sure ‘n stuff…?”

“I’m preeetty sure…” You stop rubbing her, and she lazily opens her eye as she recovers from her bliss. “You’re not usually like this, y’know,” you continue. “You’re usually rude. Maybe even a little mean at times. You call me things like ‘dweeb’ and ‘dork’ and—” You catch yourself, rubbing your face into your sleeve. You sigh. Don’t want to get too emotional. Why are you getting emotional?

“This just feels… weird… This isn’t you.”

“But this is me!” She replies, putting her paws to her chest. “I’m… um, I’m like, sorry I was mean to you before…” She shuffles closer to you, rubbing her cheek against your middle. “I could make it up to you!”

You simply stare down at her.

Why are you even feeling this way? The question briefly crosses your mind. Maybe you’re just tired? That could be part of it, but you get the feeling that that’s not the real reason.

Something feels wrong. It’s hard to ignore the tinge of worry in the back of your head. The feeling that this just, isn’t her. It doesn’t feel real. The way she’s acting doesn’t feel real. You aren’t sure whether you feel like you’re interacting with a saccharine mirror of your girlfriend, or whether to feel that the way she’s acting isn’t sincere in some way. Is it safe to say it feels shallow? Whatever this is, is it temporary? Permanent?

You’re only numbly aware of her voice. You feel her move, relieving your thighs of her weight. Something soft brushes against your head, and your cheek, but you don’t care.

Until she kisses you.

Time resumes as you feel her lips press against yours. Her paws hold you still, keeping you steady. Her thick, stubby thumbs gently rub the sides of your face, drying your cheeks of tears that you didn’t know were there. The dog furthers her advance, and you could feel her bust press against your chest. Her lips feel as good as they look. Soft, supple, comforting as they smush and rub against your own. After a moment, she breaks the kiss, tilting her head as she looks you over. You let her rub your cheeks some more, drying them with her fur. In a voice that would be uncharacteristic of her only a day ago, she asks you a simple question.

“Hey. You okay, Squirt?”

Squirt? Didn’t Lupa…

“Um, I’m sorry for being mean to you…” she continues, fidgeting with her paws. “I’m—I don’t remember it, like, not really, but I’m so, so sorry…” Her voice sounds genuine enough. Genuine, and full of regret.

“Hey, Lulu?” you ask. Her ears perk up.

“Yes?” she replies with a tilt of her head.

“What did you call me just now?”

“Um…” She scratches her head, looking away as she gives it some thought. “It was… um… Hmm… Wrfffh, like, what did I call you…?”

“It was—” you speak up, but she claps her paws.

“Oh, yeah! Squirt! It’s, like, this nickname I had for you…” She looks back at you, curling her finger around a lock of hair. Her tail wags cautiously. “It’s… It’s because you’re like, so small, y’know? You’re small and cute and I thought it like, totally fit you…”

“You… think I’m cute?” you ask, feeling something lighten in your chest. She nods vigorously.

“Like, duh! Of course I think you’re cute! You’re always so niceys to me, and you’re so holdable too…” She looks down, wrapping her arms around herself. “It’s like… I dunno, when I look at you… I feel like I wanna protect you ‘n stuff.”

You kinda get it now, and the thought of it is… hard to process. What you do understand is: Under all of that sparkly pink, she’s a lot more like Lupa than you first thought. You look around, remembering something. The pillows that you gave her last night – they’re gone. Did she...? Did they…?

“Hey… Lulu? What happened last night? Do you remember? After I fell asleep?”

“Uhhmmm…. You… You did fall asleep…” She begins, “And then…”

She taps her chin. “I ate a whooole lot. There was, um… Oh! They tasted really good… So sweet and chewy, and…”

You snap your fingers a few times. Focus. She blinks.

“Oh! Right- Um, so I totally ate a bunch, and I started feeling, like… lightheaded? Liike…” She snickers, putting a paw to her cheek… Her other paw brushes against her chest. “Nhehehe, it felt really good… I felt all soft and fuzzy and, like…~ Y’know…~” The more she spoke, the dreamier her voice got, and the thicker her valleygirl accent became. She was a giggling mess by the time her short story ended.

Of course. Of course it was the pillows you gave her. They must’ve done something to her, something that brings you back to your younger days. You were never much of a drinker, at least not when you’re alone. However, you seem to recall the times you sampled the wine when at a party, or a friend’s wedding. …The memories make you cringe. You were such a lightweight.

“So, like… I dunno~” Lupa continues, rubbing her paw against her chest, “It’s like, totally fuzzy after that… Hey, you’re okay, right?” She asks, looking up at you with a big, shining eye. You have to admit, you feel better. Though, there’s one more thing that’s still needling you. Your recent doubts, your insecurities, they…

“Hey. Lulu?”

“Mm’yeah?”

“Do you, um…” You clear your throat, fighting the urge to just swallow the question. Now isn’t the time to be shy about it...

“You like me, right?”

“Like you? I love you, hon. I’ve always loved you.”

Just that is almost enough to make you cry again.

“Alright—” You stop to sniffle. Lulu is already kneeling down and holding your shoulders, ready to help.. Now that you kind of understand what’s happening, you do feel better. Really. If anything, you feel bad for worrying so much. So, you simply give a…

“Yeah,” as you rub your reddening cheek. “Yeah, I’m okay.” Lulu lets out a short gasp, then gives a grin as bright as the sunshine outside.

“Yaaaay~!” She cheers, putting her paws together and tilting her head. Her butt sways as she gleefully wags her tail. “I was like, so totally worried. You looked so scared… You were… You were crying…”

“I was not crying!” you huff! You don’t know why you’re putting up such a show.

“Yes, you were~” she lilts, but her tail soon slows its wagging, sinking to the floor. “But, um, that’s okay. It’s like, okay to cry. I’m like, ree~ally sorry I made you feel that way…”

“Lulu, listen, I…” You’re not quite sure where you’re going with this sentence, so you cut it short to give it more thought. You settle on, “You don’t have to apologize,” as you put your hand on her head. She sticks her tongue out in response - blep! – and her tail curls back up.

“Wrrffmmh… Well… If I like, can’t apologize or whatever, what if I… kissed you instead, huh?~”

And she does just that, draping her pink arms over your shoulders as she lunges in, planting those supple lips wherever they happen to end up! Your cheek seems to be the lucky winner for today, getting a cute, pink lipstick stain as its reward. She doesn’t let up either, slowly wrapping you in a hug and lifting you up.

“Hey, um,,,~ As much as I’d love to make out with you on the couch, there’s like, so much more space on the bed.” She gives you a bit of a sultry look which, combined with her bubbly demeanor and pouty lips, causes you to blush. It doesn’t go unnoticed, and a bubbly giggle fills your ears as she princess carries you down the hall.

Lulu gently sets you down on your bed, before crawling on after you. Before you know it, your back’s against the headrest, and she’s looming above you. Her chest slightly wobbles as her whole body gently squirms, rebounding from the momentum of her swaying hips. Her tail sweeps the air behind her, betraying her mischief.~

She descends upon you, pressing her snout to your face once again for another tender kiss, smushing her plushie bosom against your entire upper body. She goes in for kiss after warm, soothing kiss, only stopping once your face is covered in waxy magenta. Desperate to hold onto anything, your hands land on the upper half of her tits, feeling its inches-thick fur and endless softness squish against your palms as she leans in once more.

“Aww, honey…” She speaks quietly, “Looks like I toootally made a mess. Let’s get you cleaned up…~” Her tongue, surprisingly warm to the touch, gently drags across your cheeks, before moving to your nose. She tilts her head, breathing against you, filling your ears with the wet, encompassing sounds of doggy snoofling and gentle licking fill your ears…

She looks you over after a bit. Seemingly satisfied that your face is ‘clean’, she leans in – smushing her tits around your chest once again – and plants one last kiss, right on your now-pink lips.

“Aww!~” She teases, “Now you kinda look like me~” Her paw plants itself on your head a few times. Pat pat pat.~ You groan, both from how corny that was, and how embarrassingly aroused you are… She lifts off of you, rolling over and resting on her butt next to you.

“C’mere, Squirt~” She beckons, patting her middle welcomingly. “I’m like, sooo comfy cozy~”

And you oblige. Following her to her new spot, you move to lay on her, but she puts up a finger and stops you.

“Nuh-uh-uh~”, she says, before pointing down. You follow her finger to where it’s pointing. Past her chest, her flat(ter, which isn’t saying much) tummy, down to… Oh wow.

You look down at the white, fluffy space between her legs, before looking back at her. She tilts her head and gives you a smirk, answering your silent question with a nod.

“Like, do it, cutie~”

You follow your pup’s order, bending down and bringing your face closer to her fuzzy crotch. It’s a bit of an awkward position, and you wonder how you’re going to go about it, but she figures all of that out for you. She lifts her legs up and rests them on your back, pulling your face in until it hits her nullspot with a muffled thwump.~ You squirm and let out a few muffled protests, but you only hear her giggle in response, putting a paw to her lips.

“Sorry hun, can’t hear you~” She lilts, “Hey, since you’re down there, why don’t you like, give me a little nuzzle, huh~?” You’re feeling defiant, though, so you try to pull yourself out first. You don’t get far. You manage to get your face about an inch away from her crotch, but her legs are much stronger than you thought. She only bends them a little, and you find yourself firmly trapped once more. It was hard to see it past her rack, but you did manage to catch a glimpse of her smug, pouty-lipped look… There’s no sharp grin like Lupa had, but Lulu’s warm, yet teasing smile has you blushing all the same. This is so embarrassing… and hot.

You grumble, getting to work… As your nose sifts deeper into her downy fur, you get a whiff of strawberry… Whatever you’re doing, it’s working, as you hear Lulu’s breath hitch- and her thighs squeeze you from either side, keeping you right where you are.~

“Y’know,,, Wrrffh, I, um… I’ve actually got a lotta nicknames for you, but none of them are as good as Lulu is… I’m like, so not a creative puppy...” she softly admits between huffs and wrrffs.

“There’s, like…~ Wrrrwwrr, there’s Sweetums…~ Lovey…~ Cupcake…~ Mmmnnh,,,~” You’re not sure if she’s stifling a moan, or thinking about cupcakes now. “Actually, Cupcake totally fits you…~ Maybe I’ll use that from now on, sound good~?”

It’s not like you can answer, so you nuzzle even deeper. Huffing her strawberry scent while she arches her back. You hope she gets the message.

“Ah~ah! Ah, ah~lright, Cupcake it is…~” You feel her paw rest on your head once more. You let out a tiny moan as she runs her fingers through your hair, using those glittery claws to scritch your scalp. “You’ve like, totally been a good girl, Cupcake, sooo…~”

Lulu lifts her legs and rests them on either side of you, freeing you. She helps you as you climb up onto her, draping her arms over her sides as your head rests against her chest… She nuzzles into your hair, planting a kiss on your head…

You lay there for a bit, but you two eventually muster the will to get on with the rest of the day. You cook, she watches. On more than one occasion, you have to pull her away from the window when she spots a bird or barks at the mailman. Eventually, as the sun goes down, you two find your way back to bed. Her paws rest on your back as you nestle against her oversized chest, and you drift off to sleep…

--

You both stir from your slumber at nearly the same time. Lupa’s rumbling groans fill your ears as she raises herself up.

“Mornin’, dude…” She yawns, before completely removing herself from you. Resting nearby, she takes a moment to rub her eye. “What happened yesterday? I’m drawin’ a complete blank here… Whoa!”

She looks a bit surprised when you cling to her, squeezing her middle as you rub your face against her. You could hear her tail swish-swish-swish against the sheets, and a paw rests securely atop your head.

“Hey buddy, what’s wrong? Not that I don’t appreciate the attention, but.. somethin’ up?”

You take a deep breath, just to collect your thoughts. And since your nose is still buried in all that fur, you get a healthy dose of her scent in the process. That fruity smell is gone, replaced with something more… animalistic? You eventually compose yourself enough to look up at her, and you agree to talk about it. After you’ve both cleaned up, that is.

Later, after you’ve had enough time to collect your thoughts, you talk to Lupa about the previous day’s events. At first, it seemed like she didn’t remember even a bit of her other self, so you had to take extra time to explain a few things. As your story continued, she seemed to get better and better at filling in the blanks. It isn’t going as bad as it could’ve been, but – judging by the steadily dawning horror on her face, you figure it could be going better too. Her head is in her paws by the time you finish, and you could feel the heat coming from her. As she sits in silence, you take a moment to drink your coffee.

“So that’s- basically what happened,” you finish. “We ended up falling asleep, and… Well.” You never did know how to end a story. It didn’t help that your audience’s silence was making you feel just the slightest bit awkward. By the time your story drew to its conclusion, Lupa had fewer and fewer things to say. Her reaction is unreadable, hidden behind her paws.

“Lupa?”

“Dude...” Her voice rumbles. Her paws hit the table as she stands. Her lips pull back to reveal her sharp teeth. Plastic as they were, they still looked as threatening as the real thing. Her cheeks are burning red. “What. Is your problem.”

“Wh-What?” your voice cracks. What’s happening?

“Grrwwwhat do you mean, ‘what’?!” She throws her arms out to her sides, raising her voice. “You— You give me some weird pillows, you turn me into a— a bimbo, and you expect me to just take that?! What’s your fuckin’ deal?”

“I didn’t know, Lupa! When has that ever happened before!? How was I supposed to know?” You retort, but she doesn’t let up.

“And so, what, did you even try to help me? Or is this-“ She pauses as she gestures toward herself, “Not good enough for you? Was that dog more to your liking? Maybe I should eat some more o’ those stupid pillows.”

“Lupa,” you plead, “Tell me, what was I supposed to do? I told you, I tried to figure out what happened to you, but… I didn’t know what to do.” You rub your shoulder as you look towards the table. “So I… I decided to just, ride it out with you.”

Was there something that you could’ve done? Maybe you could have tried to give her a normal pillow. Something to balance out the… sweetness that she possessed.

“I’m… Um, sorry.” The apology she offers is curt, but you could see the softness in her expression. She bites her lip, ears folding back. “I just… can’t believe I’d act that way, y’know? It’s… kinda embarrassin’. It’s not me. I’m not…” You make a small hum, looking down at your now-lukewarm coffee. It’s a quiet, noncommittal noise. You bite the inside of your cheek as you consider your next response carefully.

“I think it is you.” But not that carefully. Lupa’s face darkens.

“What.”

“I mean,” you quickly add with a frantic wave of your hand. “Not the bimbo stuff, but… the tenderness. The love. That was you. In that way, you weren’t acting too far from the way you normally do; it was just- amplified, I guess?” She crosses her arms as she listens to you, looking away by the time you’re done.

“I know you love me, but… It, just feels like you’re holding yourself back, Lu.” You stand up, walking around the table to meet her. Unsurprisingly, her tail starts to move as you wrap your arms around her. “Could you please be nicer to me? I’d really appreciate it.”

“I—“ She falters, “I’m plenty nice!”

“You weren’t nice just now.” You frown up at her wry, unconvincing grin, “You were pretty mean, actually.” She grits her teeth.

“…I know… I’m, I’m sorry, hon’. I didn’t… I don’t know why I thought you’d…”

She looks tense, from the way her shoulders hunch up as she rubs her arm. You sigh, and motion for her to kneel down. As she does, her cheeks slide into your waiting palms.

“I just… I worry. Sometimes. A lot,” she says, with a certain shortness of phrase that you’ve become quite familiar with.

“About what?”

She doesn’t answer.

“Lulu, you can talk to me about anything. You know that.” Your voice is as soft as you can make it, as you give her cheeks a bit of a squeeze… She lets out a groaning ‘wrrffh’ as you do that, closing her eye.

“Listen…” She replies, “It’s… it’s a lot. It’s hard. I… I-I-I don’t…”

You sigh. You muse that this might go deeper than she's comfortable with. It doesn’t make you feel any less disappointed though. Gosh, is she shaking?

“I understand. By the way, do you wanna do anything about your ponytail?” You move the conversation along, letting go of her.

“My what?” Lupa reaches up behind her ears, freezing as she feels her hair, and the linen holding it up. “Uh.” She slowly runs a paw down and through her ponytail… “I… Haha, well… Here, Squirt. Let’s put it this way. Are you gonna mention what happened yesterday ever again?”

You squint. You totally see what she’s doing. She’s kicking the can down the road, but with a shake of your head, you accept her terms. You won’t let her off the hook for acting that way that easily, but right now? You’re just happy to see her feeling okay.

“Then no,” she replies, standing back up. “I won’t do anything about it.” For the first time this morning, you smile.

“So you really like it?”

“I never said that,” she blows you off, “It’s, uhh. Y’know, it makes me look...”

Cute.

“…Cool,” she totally lies, putting her paws on her hips. “It makes me look cool. I’ve got that, uh, that biker girl look goin’ on.”

“If you’re sure…” you muse. Her ears turn toward you, and she gives you a look.

“I’m serious! I look good. It’s like, totally me.”

“Admit it. You look cute. You feel cute.” You say. She rolls her eyes.

“Haha, yeah… Maybe. Anyway, you wanna go make breakfast now, or do you wanna keep teasin’ me?”

You could feel your tummy growl.

“Fair enough… C’mon, Lulu.”

“Lulu?”

“Do you not like it?”

“I…” She hesitates, and her expression is hard to read. Eventually, Lupa sighs, and the faintest smile could be seen as she rubs her snout.

“Yeah, Cupcake. Guess I do.”

[s1lly-gh02tz]

So I made a hc/rant/character analysis on spamton a few weeks ago and after reading over Jevil’s wiki page I decided to make one for him🥳

Personality:

I see Jevil as a pretty childish person. He struggles to take things seriously and he always jokes around during serious situations, even before he lost grasp of himself. He also does things very impulsively. If it comes to mind, he’ll do it without a second thought. It usually ends up with somebody getting physically hurt.

Jevil isn’t a very emotional person. He doesn’t really understand that what he’s been through and his emotions mean so he doesn’t really feel sad about it. However while he is “free” he does feel very lonely and everything he’s been through finally hits him. He realizes that he’s screwed up. He’s upset for a while but then he realizes it doesn’t matter. Everything’s just a game. He can do whatever he wants. This also means he ignores his emotions sometimes and does things to his absolute limits.

Story:

I see Seam as more of a friend/parental figure towards Jevil. I see Seam a lot older than Jevil and a lot more responsible and caring. They’re able to keep Jevil out of as much trouble as possible. The both of them always enjoyed playing games together, while that either playing literal games, doing tricks using their powers or fighting each other (but never actually hurting eachother)

The two were very well known and successful as entertainers. They would always perform for the king and large crowds and they loved it. Seam would for example, “cut Jevil in half” like that one magic trick. Jevil would juggle different things Seam threw at him etc etc.

Eventually when one day Jevil met that someone it entirely changed his view of the world. Although before he was childish, impulsive, and could never take things seriously all of these qualities basically doubled. He would speak very fast and always repeat words, making it a tad hard to understand sometimes. Seam became worried as time went on until one day Jevil took things too far, probably hurting someone.

This broke out a fight between them, first with yelling, and ending violently. Both of them were very skilled fighters, however Jevil had Seam beat. After a long, bloody battle Jevil swung the Devilsknife and took out the button in Seam’s eye, worsening their sight in that eye. Finally Jevil snapped out of his insanity for a moment. He couldn’t believe what he had done. He didn’t know how to feel.

Before things got any worse he was locked away in the castle. While in prison, the loneliness only made him drift further and further into insanity. He realized that he was the only one truly free. He was the only one who knew that everything was truly just a game. He could do anything while in there.

Although he laughed everything off, as I stated he missed everyone. He missed his friends, he missed Seam. But although he didn’t want to admit it, he was scared to see them again. He knew what he did was awful.

Other relationships:

OK OK SO THIS SECTION IS VERY HEADCANONY. NONE OF THIS (Or most atleast) ISNT CANON😫

anyways spamvil time🥳

so I’ve already said before what I think their relationship was before and after and how they met in my Spamton “analysis/headcanon” post. However I want to talk about what happened after they divorced.

While Jevil was in prison, he looked back on a lot of things, Spamton being one of them. They both really loved eachother. However when the both were driven into insanity, they couldn’t handle each other. Both of them weren’t themselves. Besides the two are actually pretty different if you think about it. For example, Spamton doesn’t feel in control. He’s a puppet. Jevil however is the opposite. He feels in control and that whatever he does, doesn’t matter. He can do whatever and it won’t affect anything.

Ok no more spamvil ☹️ seam time 🔥

As I said before I see seam as a parental figure towards Jevil. they took care of him and kept him safe. They were a great parent, however they couldn’t handle him after he met that person.

I don’t exactly know how Seam met Jevil but for a while Jevil helped Seam run their shop. Seam themself didn’t really have many friends, nor did they really want any. They liked being alone. However, they very much enjoyed Jevil’s company. He could really brighten seam’s day.

After all that shit happened, Jevil was fought and defeated, I feel like him and Seam reunited. Again, I haven’t really thought of how but maybe it would go along unexpectedly. Like Jevil could just be strolling around the kingdom and unexpectedly run into Seam’s shop. He didn’t really know what to do but he knew it would be best for him to just keep walking. He didn’t want to see what he had done to Seam, because he had blocked out as much of the memory as possible. However Seam did see Jevil outside.

Seam stepped out and called Jevil back. Jevil, for one of the first times ever, was scared. He looked Seam in the eyes and felt a wave of sadness and guilt. He saw the tear in Seam’s eye. The stitches holding together their fur. Unexpectedly, Seam was excited to see him. They hugged him and told Jevil how much they’d missed him. Jevil completely broke down, apologizing profusely for what he’d done. He cared about Seam more than anything. Seam had done so much for him. But Seam wasn’t mad. Seam realized what had happened to Jevil. They knew something had happened to make him that way

They hugged it out and stuff and they’re good now😸

Ok that’s about it! Lmk if anything’s screwed up bc I literally just came up with all of this on the spot😎

[idoodlestuffsometimes]

You've expressed the desire to keep the Brother's Keeper AU consistent with the general tone and age range of TOH. What's the motivation behind this? I'd be curious to know what (if there are any) Brother's Keeper concepts occupy your mind but will never write/draw because it's not consistent with the tone.

lmao my forbidden concepts are the same thing but with swearing 🤣

Honestly though? This is actually something I'm debating right now.

To be fair, there was never actually any particular desire to keep the TONE consistent with the show (I tend towards character drama rather than children's comedy), however keeping things reasonably PG, yes, that I was going for.

It actually stems from before Brother's Keeper. I used to draw Gravity Falls stuff, and I'm aware that when I make fan art it's often for animated content, which, when it's American, (unfortunately) tends to be aimed at kids. And kids are both interested enough in their favorite media to want to see art of it and fully capable of using google.

I didn't want to be an adult responsible for ruining a kid's favorite thing. (I also wasn't invested enough in making adult style content to try to hide my blog from search engines entirely.)

As it wound up turning out, some of my BK stuff does in fact turn up pretty quickly in google image search if you look for Wittebane related content, so I was right to be cautious.

Anyway, because of those concerns my rule since long before Brother's Keeper has been that when I publicly share fan art, it stays in the general range of appropriateness for the original media's target audience. If it's an R rated movie, then I'm fine with doing R-rated fan art. If it's rated G, then the fan art either stays G or goes behind some kind of privacy shield where it's less likely to pop up in a casual search without warning.

As far as BK goes though, more recently Tumblr has added better content warning protections (I haven't tried it out but it's nice to know it's there). And in addition, I've been spending more time considering exactly how I'm handling the ending, and have been toying with the possibility of going darker and debating where exactly the line is.

I'm sure I am and will be toeing the line regardless, lol. I'm not a big fan of gore and am not that interested in sexual content, so those aren't that likely to show up that much even if I went full Adults Only. But I DO like exploring emotional complexity, even when it gets very heavy and dark, which are things American kids media is allergic to. Where is the line when it come to "dark themes"? How heavy can your story be before it becomes inappropriate for kids, even if there's no risque content and all the violence is bloodless? How hard can I go with the violence before it becomes TOO violent, even when completely absent of blood and gore?

Originally I planned to wait and see how the show ended and then build around that. Presumably that would have automatically resulted in a child friendly end. However, unfortunately, I... don't really like the finale and don't find it satisfying for Brother's Keeper's storyline. Which means I have to invent something completely different myself.

I'm in the process of inventing that something, but lately I've begun to think that what I have in mind will have fight scenes and may also work best if I include some real world modern close-mindedness (for the purpose of paralleling Belos' old timey anti-witch nastiness.) There are PG ways of doing that, but if I go down that darker route I do find myself reconsidering whether it might be better to just lean into it and up the rating a bit.

[princesssarisa]

What are your favorite romantic tropes in love stories?

Good question. This requires some thought...

I generally like slow-burn and friends-to-lovers, including childhood friends-to-lovers. Dislike-to-friendship-to love is fine, as are characters who like each other but feign dislike because they're too proud or afraid to admit it (e.g. Beatrice and Benedick), but full-blown enemies-to-lovers (i.e. people who are dangerous to each other) I don't care for. What matters is that there be warmth, tenderness, joy, preferably humor, and understanding between them.

That said, I enjoy classic fairy tale Love At First Sight in the right context, as well as grand, sweeping Romantic passion, just as long as it's handled in a way that feels sincere, not shallow or caricatured.

I like couples whose personalities contrast with each other in complimentary ways, but also couples who have qualities in common that most other people around them don't share. For the best couples, both of these things are true.

I also insist (for the most part) on egalitarian pairings with mutual respect, mutual feelings, and mutual power in the relationship. If one partner has more power in terms of status, wealth, or other external factors, then the other has to equal it with the emotional power she wields (or sometimes he, but usually she). Equal character development on both sides is good too, and a good balance between that development and acceptance of each other, flaws and all. While I love Disney's Beauty and the Beast, I do slightly dislike the fact that the character development is so one-sided, with the Beast changing so much more than Belle does, and he changes so much that I have asked myself sometimes if Belle really loves him or if she just loves a role she's taught him to play. And part of what makes Pride and Prejudice so good a love story (at least to me) is the balance it strikes: despite pop culture misremembering it as a "woman changes man" story, Elizabeth and Darcy are both flawed and both change, yet both keep the same core personalities they always had, and both stay imperfect (improved, but imperfect), yet come together anyway.

I like "jaded and innocent" pairings too. Not necessarily "grumpy and ray of sunshine," but someone who's had a hard life that's left them cynical about the world and about their own place in it, paired with a younger and more idealistic person who unexpectedly helps them rediscover their own inner idealism, and who sees the goodness in them that they had lost sight of in themselves. I especially like these parings when the jaded partner is a woman, though the more common pairing of "innocent girl, jaded guy" is fine too.

For that matter, I always like couples that subvert gender stereotypes; I adore strong women and emotional men. One trope that's sometimes especially therapeutic for me is when a woman adores her male love interest, but values other things (her responsibilities, her morals, her loyalty to other women, etc.) just as much, if not slightly more, while to him, personal relationships are everything, particularly the love he shares with her. They have to somehow resolve this difference, which preferably they do without teaching her to prioritize her man above everything. I enjoy this because more often, we see it in reverse: to the woman, love is everything, but to her man, love is just one aspect of life, and other duties matter more to him than she does. I think my desire to invert this trope is part of why I've written a gender-bent version of The Magic Flute. Let the girl be the one who sets out to find romantic love, but then finds a bigger community and calling, and let the boy be the one who temporarily gets pushed aside (until they finally unite as one in the end) for a change!

An element of rock-solid loyalty is also a plus. I don't care much for on-and-off romance arcs. Which isn't to say that I only ship couples who are perfectly functional. Far from it! But I like a sense of "even if we fight, even if we say terrible things to each other, even if you hurt me or we hurt each other, I'm not giving up on you; or even if I do leave, I still care about you and I don't want you to suffer." This is one thing I like about Heathcliff and Cathy from Wuthering Heights, that lets me see a sublime beauty in their love amidst the toxicity: neither one would ever dream of permanently ending their relationship (though tragically, neither fully realizes this about the other until it's too late), and while they sometimes say terrible things to and about each other, they don't do terrible things to each other. I'll die on the hill that in the book, Heathcliff marries Isabella for her inheritance to spite Edgar, not to hurt Cathy, because Cathy knows he doesn't love Isabella and he knows she knows. They care more about each other's wellbeing than pop culture thinks they do.

To me, nothing is sexier than when a couple cares about each other's wellbeing; that's what love should be. I loathe seeing selfish, possessive love glorified just because it's "passionate." Support, generosity, empathy, sacrifices... those are things I like.

I hope this wasn't too much of a novel.

[escapismblue]

hi. look, if you don't want any negative opinions on the new Frontiers DLC, then just skip this. I do have some positive things to say, but mostly? not really! anyway, full opinion under the read more thing.

Alright, I'm going all in on this. I've kept my mouth mostly shut about my gripes about recent Sonic stuff but no. Nope, I'm not keeping my mouth shut when the games are my favorite part of this entire franchise.

I love the base game of Frontiers. I have sunk so many fucking hours into it. I genuinely think it's close to 80 hours. It still had some issues, but nothing that really... stuck out to me worse than like "well that wasn't perfect" or "that was kind of annoying." Mainly because I absolutely saw the base game as a step in the right direction. It wasn't perfect, but it was fun and it was getting there. Mainly the story was not great, (had a lot of good concepts but was very underdeveloped in those ideas,) but. But but but. Then they said the DLC would basically fix the story and oh my god I was so excited.

I spent days thinking about what they might do. I didn't think any of my ideas would be even close to canon, but it was fun. Honestly, my only hope for DLC was that there would be some level of emotional payoff. I didn't expect the kind of payoff we've gotten before, but anything more than what we got originally. Well, okay, we got a little more than the base game but you know what I mean. There were basically no emotional payoff.

There were emotional beats, don't get me wrong, but absolutely no payoff for said beats. And it wasn't like the emotional beats were bad! They were basically the best part of the story, but nothing came of them. Sage literally told Sonic that his friends weren't handling the cyber corruption well and what does he do in response in the cutscene? FUCKING NOTHING. Maybe a grimace, but no words, no nothing.

I will be 100% transparent, I didn't finish the DLC myself. I'm not gonna go on about how fucking hard it was because that's been covered before, but I watched the cutscenes to see if the absolute frustration I was feeling while playing was worth it. I didn't think it was.

Though, actually, I will complain about how fucking hard it is to unlock the map because literally why is so hard? Is it because they just wanted to make it harder to unlock fast travel because that's honestly bullshit in my opinion. Whatever, some of the harder map challenges were fun but most of them were just absurd.

Anyway, back to my point. Because I didn't play it myself, there may have been optional cutscenes or more dialogue while you're playing that gives a little more than just the main cutscenes, but that's not good enough for me!

That was a gripe for the base game too! Important context and lore should not be optional! And even still, it makes it clear, that the story is still not a main concern. And look, I get it, it hasn't been a main concern in a long time, but it is disappointing that the main draw was 1. the story fixes and 2. getting to play as Amy, Tails, and Knuckles (and god Knuckles does not control well.)

Another positive thing though, I did like playing as the other characters and I do hope that playing as other characters stays for more games. Sonic is my boy, but it is fun to have other characters.

But hoo boy I'm getting to my biggest point now. One that I think a lot of people are gonna disagree with, but honestly I just need to get this out.

I do not like how Amy, Tails, and Knuckles were connected to the Ancients. Now hold on, let me explain. At first, I thought this wasn't even a valid complaint, because I thought I wanted Sonic to be unique and have all the special things, but no. This actively makes Amy, Tails, and Knuckles less interesting! It puts even more focus on Sonic.

I like Sonic being connected to the Ancients because he's already extremely connected to the Emeralds. And look, I know they were already hinting at it in the base game, (all four being connected,) but the DLC made it obvious enough that I can't ignore it.

And look, I know it's probably just trying to be a "history repeats itself" story but that's not clear and I'm not going to give them the benefit of the doubt.

First, let me just say, that you did not need to connect Knuckles to the Ancients because he already was. There is already plenty of connections between the echidnas and the Ancients. (ahem ahem Chaos) but my main point is that it makes Sonic's supporting cast even more connected to him. It makes even more of their lives revolve around him.

I fucking love Sonic, almost everything I write is focused on him, but oh my god his cast is not there just for him.

Look, if you like it, cool, but I just. I worry about the future of these characters if this is their fix for Frontiers. Out of all the characters (minus Sonic because I cannot objectively judge his character,) Knuckles is written the best. Because his story didn't have anything to do with Sonic specifically. Him deciding to go off on his own had nothing to do with Sonic, it had everything to do with his own life. He was going off on his own because he's taking control of his life instead of letting his duty control him. (Which was, again, sort of ruined by tying him to Sonic directly through the Ancients.)

Tails, I will say, is inherently connected to Sonic and that's okay. He's a kid and Sonic's brother. I like him becoming his own character that is less connected to Sonic, but they can't seem to decide if that's what they're doing or not. And like. It really just feels like they're trying to fix the criticism modern Tails gets in a super roundabout way.

I'm not even going to touch Amy. I've never really liked what they've done with her and I'm not even. Nope. I don't think they know what to do with her and I will continue to just do whatever I want with her in my fics.

Also I hate Eggman being any sort of ally, but that's mostly because the games I tend to focus on have him be an absolute asshole and I like him that way.

Anyway, some more positive things to round this out:

The voice acting is very good! Sonic's deeper voice makes me want to go feral, Amy's voice actor conveyed her emotions really well, and god Knuckles laughing scene is literally I think the best cutscene second only to Sonic's new form.

On that note, I really do like Sonic's new cyber form. I wish they did more with it, but that's not a new problem so I'm not gonna harp on it. They rarely give forms a lot of time besides normal Super.

I really liked that the final fight was basically only Sonic. It's not that I don't like people helping him, but for final fights I tend to like it being just Sonic or like. Shadow or Silver.

This DLC did make me appreciate Sage more and that's not nothing. Because I didn't love her at first. Then again, that also could've been because I like how some fans handle her.

Music slaps.

Alright, anyway. I might do a rewrite for Frontiers now. Until then. o7

[emptylotfiasco]

short story:

long story: ohh god what the fuck was that what the fuck was that. why did donut only have a single line in simmons' thoughts. why did carolina only appear at the end. the audacity to retcon season 15 onwards to make an even worse season. killing sarge. i feel like i just watched a marvel movie.

just. some of the characterisation was bad. its strange that the reds had to be convinced to go on the big mission to save everyone when they spent the whole show growing into their responsibilities and doing heroic shit. its strange they left caboose behind to get killed by the meta after they spent the whole show learning to get along and be ride or die with eachother. on the OPPOSITE end its strange that sarge gave grif that whole speech about being hard on him because he knew he could be better. lol no. he is a jerk to him because he doesnt care about how grif feels. and obviously, its strange that grif left simmons at the end, because being separated from the reds and blues would drive him crazy and fuck you that was his best friend for 18 seasons.

fans respond well to emotional moments in the previous seasons but this felt like an emotional jerk off session. just a whole lot of unearned emotional moments and deep conversations that felt stunted and out of place. the funeral scene was ten minutes long. there were so many conversations about wash's feelings (when carolina started to ask him about why he felt he had to earn doc's aid i was so over it. why are we delving into his self esteem issues right now after everything that happened.) there was always a balance between comedy/drama and they did not manage that. having more scenes wouldve made the moments feel earned and i know they couldnt do that but. i still wouldnt have included a lot of this stuff.

there was a lot of hand holding, with the excessive emotional conversations, the long, constant recaps of stuff that happened in previous seasons and the show-dont-tellness. it is obvious that epsilon split himself into other fragments. it is obvious that tucker is in the meta suit and he has all the fragments and is evil. maybe if they spent less time explaining everything they could fit more stuff lol. that is also something i feel applies to all the emotional shit, they could have used a lot more subtlety.

if they wanted a rounded season focused on reflection of all the previous seasons and character arcs (which it did feel like they were trying to do tbf) i think jason's original s18 pitch wouldve been good for it. this did feel like a giant collection of plot beats and i heard it was supposed to be a trilogy but was rushed so that makes sense and explains a lot of the problems. under no amount of time constraints could i forgive them fumbling grimmons though. fuck. they only have themselves to blame for that.

some things i liked: how tex was handled (that made me so happy that was so sweet. best tex lives fic and its written into the show<3 i know tex's VA left on bad terms with RT so the fact that she came back just makes me. god i love tex), carolina appeared that made me happy even though she shouldve been here the whole time but whatever. her and tex fighting the meta together was awesome. caboose snapping tucker out of it (im such a big fan of them<33). wash throwing himself off a cliff because thats the best way he can think to solve a situation. amazingly in character. any time the reds goofed off it made me giggle and kick my feet. the church youtube skit committed egregious sins i already mentioned but i think it was cute that it was in a 2D art style. the zoom security guards and basically the few bits of comedy always landed and were really funny.

anyways. i cant expect them to make a good season while their company is getting shut down. this was definitely rushed, probably not a finalised draft and done under time constraints. i dont blame them, i am not upset that it didnt deliver. but that does not mean it was good. im going to pretend it was another epsilon simulation. and im still writhing at them retconning season 15 for this.

hey akalegos... justg finished watching the new rvb season and unblocked all the tags i think im gonna throw up

How’s it going emptylotfiasco….

[sandraharissa]

I personally did assume that Stella wasn’t that bad based on s1 but it actually has nothing to do with Stella herself and more to do with Stolas’ character seeming more grey and responsible for the bad things that happened to him/ppl around him, and that added interesting depth to his character and a potential for an interesting growth in his relationship with Blitz.

Which I consider massively important bcos in a show like HB, which is a character driven comedy, character arcs and relationships of main characters can make or break the story.

I feel like this last ep was trying to have it’s cake and eat it too and while it may sound negative, it actually worked for me, this is one of my fave episodes and I hope it ‘sticks the landing’ so to speak.

As I see it the episode arguably gets rid of the concept that:

Stolas is responsible here, he’s at fault but he’s doing it anyway

which shows just how much he’s interested in Blitz, that he sacrificed everything for him bcos he was in a boring marriage, and in a way it makes it more romantic

but it also makes for VERY flawed characters who need to grow

plus there’s the (imo unnecessary) element of adding depth to Stella

Instead we get:

Stolas is a victim, he suffered abuse a lot, the cheating seems more justified and honestly like it’s Stella’s fault,

Stolas and Blitz met as kids which makes the cheating more justified cos it’s the second time they meet and the first time was a very meaningful encounter to Stolas emotionally (without the attraction part yet)

The ep sets up that it’s truly a long pattern between them of ‘Blitz trying to use Stolas’ -> ‘Stolas being too focused on himself to notice behaviors of ppl around him and lying to himself, but also having a genuine interest in Blitz’ -> ‘Blitz developing feelings regardless but neither can handle/communicate it’ -> ‘repeat’. Having them interact as kids is a very visual way to show that their patterns of toxic behavior stem from their deep-seated childhood trauma, by actually having the relationship itself start during their childhood.

There’s the added imagery of baby Stolas having an imp plushie since birth that conveys the ‘plaything’ attitude he displays towards Blitz.

Blitz’s meanness in retrospect seems way worse, cos it now looks like Stolas is just used to it cos he’s bouncing from one abusive relationship to the next.

Ngl the emotions hit hard this episode for me, it took me by surprise but having Stolas’ whole life story play out from beginning to end made it pretty sad and hard to watch, and really got me rooting for him, including the affair, and obviously the divorce and him standing up for himself were very cathartic. Despite it being a brand new concept introduced in this episode it works as a plot twist, turning our whole perception on Stolas’ cheating on it’s head and providing a new compelling narrative to replace/follow up on the old one.

As I listed above, things changed somewhat but I’d say the gist remains the same, the relationship is toxic, Stolas has genuine immense interest but unintentionally objectifies Blitz and has a tendency to lie to himself and tolerate verbal abuse from characters around him, Blitz still has attachment issues but ultimately catches feelings for Stolas despite himself. I’d say they’re still shitty ppl and they still have flaws in their relationship in dire need of fixing, they just changed marginally bcos of the context but the core is the same.

The only thing for me that’s needed to successfully ‘eat the cake and have it’ is to get another episode, one that isn’t from Stolas’ perspective, that puts a bit more blame for the affair back on him. It makes sense that what’s essentially a Stolas episode would be sympathetic to him and portray everything that happens as understandable, and it does successfully let us see and agree with Stolas’ pov but we could also use another perspective. We can potentially get an episode in the future that humanises Stella, just to a lesser extent than I originally thought and after she plays her role as a villain, maybe showing her own struggles with craving love/unrequited love/ forbidden love (cos she’s already engaged) and how Stolas getting away with/finding somebody to cheat with is a kind of privilege she doesn’t possess. Or an episode with Via that calls him out on coping behaviors like the affair (or possibly running away cos that’s a s2 fan theory) that lead to him paying no regard to how his actions hurt the ppl around him, and that just bcos he’s hurting that doesn’t mean he’s allowed to hurt other’s. You know, smth neat like that.

[sttheorycraft]

I agree with you that Byler is probably not happening at this point, but I would love to hear your 10% reasons why it still might. I don't think you should be afraid of giving out false hope because 100k people in the Byler tag are already doing that anyway lol. It's okay if you don't want to share, though. I'm just curious to hear what you think.

I'm not sure that logic holds (about false hope) but hey, why not.

I've already said that S4 proved (through Hopper's survival) that the writers will ignore inconsistencies if it lets them tell the story they want to tell. This makes it really hard to theorize about what could come next, but also means everything is still on the table. If Byler is a story they want to tell, they'll tell it.

Their forgetting Will's birthday suggests they're not paying attention to small details, which calls into question a LOT of Byler "evidence." But there's still a little hope if we step back and look at some probable facts about the production. They seem quite pro-LGBT both from their social media activity and from scenes from the show. For example, Mike standing up for Will in S1, and how well they handled Robin's coming out scene. They have voiced a concern for protecting the little guy (I'm thinking of Harbour's acceptance speech) and one of the show's major themes is about "normal" being overrated and "different" being okay (and "different" is strongly tied to homosexuality in the show).

All of that is to say: I don't think they would want to queerbait fans on purpose. They knew Byler shippers existed at least by S3, if not S2 which is I think when it started (I wasn't around then). They were interacting with us on Twitter while writing S4. After a certain point, if you're not planning on Byler endgame you kinda have a responsibility to your fans to signal this unambiguously in the show, as early as possible. You could argue that Byler shippers are so creative in reading into things that it would be impossible for them to accept a non-Byler endgame until the end, if even then. But the writers definitely didn't shut the door firmly in S3, and while I can see signs I could interpret as shutting the door in S4 (most notably the speech), it really should've been done less ambiguously if that was the intent. Even people on Reddit were getting wind of an old-school queerbait in Vol 1.

Just some questions in S4 that could be nothing but why are they even questions if they're trying not to queerbait:

Why is there a one-way sign in Mike's room pointing to an open closet in S4E1? If that was accidental it was a huge oversight

When Mike meets El in the airport, he picked his clothes because she liked those colors. I get Mike is supposed to be awkward but Mike's views on their relationship sound incredibly juvenile. Compare to Lumax throughout the season, or El's complaint to Mike about never saying "Love." Or even Mike and Will's conversations, it's not like Mike can't have mature conversations

Why does Mike act so weird when greeting Will at the airport? Could be to emphasize Will's emotions, but it's still odd

Why does Mike get weird with El after the roller skate incident? Serves the plot but seems out of character and is unnecessary Mileven tension

The El/Superhero thing. Mike really does refer to El primarily as a superheroine throughout the season. Including to Dustin when Dustin is bragging on his girlfriend. He's never really that romantic

It's clear why Will's eyes get shimmery during Mike's apology but why do Mike's? It seems a little over the top if nothing is going on there

Why is Will so practically psychic with Mike? And a little bit in reverse but Mike is oblivious sometimes too. Selectively, it feels like

When Mike confesses his "feelings" to El, it's spurred on directly by Will (it's almost peer pressure) and it comes out juvenile/awkward again. Could be Mike's personality, but again he's demonstrated he can do better. (I do need to rewatch this, have only watched Vol 2 once through)

Robin and Vickie (not sure if I've stated publicly but I see Vickie as bi from a million miles away) getting together at the end could be foreshadowing apparently hopeless relationships coming to be??

Other things that I can't forget:

Will's favorite song is "Should I Stay or Should I Go" which is about a push-pull relationship, much like Will is experiencing with Mike

The whole "keep the door open 3 inches" meme from S3

Unfortunately, all the above doesn't add up to anything ironclad. I think it's important to test your beliefs. I came up with a couple of checks before S4 came out, basically how could I tell if they were trying to shoot down Byler:

Attempts to define the relationship with Byler. Mike does twice: as best friends.

Strengthening Mileven. Mike arguably does in his speech.

These are both surface-level and handled poorly, but unfortunately since both came true I'm left with 90% likely that they're trying in good faith to avoid queerbaiting but just not handling it very well (underestimating Byler shippers' ability to rationalize basically). Or a 10% chance that they're still up to something based on the above.

Hope this helps and doesn't give anyone TOO much hope. I really want to emphasize: it's not queerbaiting if your fans are so adept at reading into things that anything you do is construed as evidence for their ship. But at the same time if Mileven endgame was the plan they really should've shut things down harder than they did.

[blysse-and-blunder]

in lieu of a commonplace book

8pm, monday, august 15, 2022

once again writing this on my phone in the background while waiting for my turn during dnd, as god intended; nature is healing, we were the virus, etc. since i can’t do a read-more on mobile, this will just be a quick one!

reading another week finishing things— TGCF vol 2, xiran jay zhao’s iron widow, getting into the last few chapters of perdido street station. glad to have finished iron widow and been able to return the loan, it felt like an accomplishment— aside from that, it… felt like a first novel. huge vision, very pointed messages, two or three ‘plot twists’ that i either suspected or outright called well in advance. i don’t love first person narration for a novel like this, the struggle btw ‘believably unreliable’ and ‘observant / objective enough to actually provide descriptions and context’ is super hard to get right (this is also what bugged me abt the hunger games, don’t @ me). there’s one particular choice in iron widow that i did quite like (predictably, the handling of the love not-triangle), but that didn’t quite outweigh some of the stuff that made me uncomfortable (not bc they were problematic, just bc i’m very suggestible and a weeny about physical discomfort).

listening my buddy @pep-squad-lizzie dropped a link to the defector podcast ‘Normal Gossip’ in the group chat a little while ago, and i’ve just about finished both seasons. i like the host’s voice and manner, i’ve really liked most of the guests—as the question is posed each episode, i have been asking myself ‘what is my relationship to gossip? do i consider myself a gossip?’ i think what i like is the reflecting on / analyzing / sharing emotional responses on the stories, empath- or sympathizing with the participants. i like emoting about people, places, and things with people i trust not to pass on the news of how i feel about those things! i really value and respect a Cone of Silence when a friend imposes it; i live and work in communities too small not to, we need places to be candid with no fear of it getting back to the people involved. that said, we also live by sharing stories abt professors not to work with, people looking for roommates or with interesting syllabus examples to talk through— so it’s a judgement call. i like the anonymized gossip on the podcast, but i might like the guests’ editorializing and reacting best? especially when they take an unexpected stance or are willing to sympathize with someone at first. i like thinking the best of people at first, until they prove they don’t deserve it, and it’s nice when the guests do too. i quite liked the josh gondelman episode.

watching my house watched master & commander: far side of the world this week, a rewatch for all of us i think. i’m pretty much incapable of being impartial about this one, but it’s a good damn movie. the visuals, the soundtrack. i like how the plot is almost entirely character-interaction driven, despite it being a war movie; i like how the emotional beats have only gotten more real and painful as i’ve gotten older; i do actually now notice and feel irritation abt the fact that sophie and diana and any of the female characters from the books who could have been included are totally not there even in flashbacks or memories or…anyway.

playing more stardew. @leadfeathers made a post a little while ago about relaxing in the tub listening to news podcasts and playing stardew, and that was me this weekend if you make the soundtrack strangers’ gossip and also i couldn’t take my laptop in the bath i have finally expanded my cottage! ive started the mysterious qi quest! my irritation about how little the game internally does to help you out *as a person playing a video game* as opposed to a fictional farmer is balanced against my ongoing awe about how the game expands and adds elements or allows you to deepen and expand what you’re doing.

making garden pics as things start to bloom and ripen! the little leaf in the black plastic pot is a lemon seed i’m delighted to see making a go of it; the big yellow squash blossoms are probably zucchini.

[felikatze]

give me the a brainworms i am deeply invested in this man

(0) (2) (3) (4)

okay first of all you asked for this. second of all if i am a little off track from the game that is explained by me just building thoughts like building blocks without looking back. third i was supposed to be studying for an exam but this counts as practice right? it's character analysis anyway lmao.

buckle the fuck up, my dearest anon, because I have sub headings.

1. A as the Player Character

Let me begin with why I am obsessed with this horrid little guy in the first place: he's a silent protagonist. I am always obsessed with protagonists. It's a law of nature. I love taking hollow characters and dissecting them for scraps. It's a long standing practice of mine.

Being a silent protagonist, A, as X, does not have a set personality. However, there are patterns. Firstly, as any semi-silent protagonist, A is a reactive character. He does not start incidents, he only responds to situations, presented by the Sephirah, as they arise. He does not actively seek out new information, merely going about the routine of expanding departments, but expresses curiosity when information is presented to him.

I'm aware fandom likes to characterize X and A differently, likely because they are initially presented as different characters. I, on the other hand, would like to pose the theory that they are more similar than expected.

I believe that A is also a reactive character, rather than active. Despite the fandom wiki describing him as stubborn, the goal A pursues with such fervor, the completion of the Seed of Light, is not actually a goal he set for himself. Carmen is the one who set this goal for him by leaving him her legacy.

Throughout the backstory we get relating to the Cogito Project, A is Carmen's assistant, whereas Carmen is the driving researcher. This is how many of the City's inhabitants seem to be; going with the flow of goals set for them by superiors. Yes I will get into his attachment to Carmen later.

The above is not to say A isn't stubborn. Once he has accepted a goal as his own, he will pursue it at all costs, as is obvious from any and all flashbacks leading to horrible deaths. But the point isn't his pursuit of the goal, but where that goal comes from. Even Lobcorp itself supports this, despite what Hokma may say; A as X follows the "simple" task of managing the Corp's day to day activities, and executes any mission given to him by the Sephirah. He outranks them, and doesn't actually need to do their missions, but does so anyway. Players are driven by the reward offered by those missions, of course, and A might be the same in that regard. Nonetheless, at no point in gameplay do you do anything somebody else hasn't told you to.

The overarching narrative of the Script would be the most obvious example. Every single person in the game follows the script, whether they know it or not.

Lastly on this note, a phrase we hear attributed to A, "Machines must behave as machines." Now, Angela may be attached to this phrase because it bears significance to herself as a machine, and informs most of A's unjust treatmeant of her. However, what if it doesn't just apply to machines? The phrase reads as such, "Everyone must act according to their own role."

2. A, Carmen, and the disease of the mind

So, A will at any cost pursue goals Carmen set for him. Question is, why? The obvious answer would be saying he's in love with her, which like, true. But also, how did Carmen come to be so precious to him?

Let us return to the comparison, "This is how many of the City's inhabitants seem to be." We don't really know why exactly most characters joined Carmen, excluding mainly Daniel and Benjamin. But this does not mean we can't have theories.

Carmen's ideal was curing the "disease of the mind." What is the disease? Complete hopelessness. The inability to form aspirations and dreams, to think of a better future. A is a very reactive character who does not set goals for himself. Therefore, I personally conclude, that initially, Carmen's ideology resonated with him because he could identify with the disease.

This is the point where I start rewatching Lobcorp story clips. Dear god.

So, by briefly binging day 27 onward, I've come up with lines that very much support this lil theory of mine:

First, from Carmen, a description of the disease, "People lock away their own potential."

Second, a line from Angela, after the memory synchronization, "You've locked yourself in this prison without bars."

Carmen describes A as humble, and Benjamin thinks he is warm. If I suppose A was one of the diseased initially, Carmen would be the catalyst for this change. Carmen was someone with big aspirations, with plans to heal what is wrong with the City, and it gave him hope. He was one of the diseased, but through time with Carmen, with that relentless optimistic spirit, he may have been cured, for a time. It's not a stretch to say that she was his light.

But lor shows us what happens when the seed of light sprouts wrong, doesn't it? It distorts. A grasped hope for the first time and then it is ruthlessly crushed. Carmen was everything. Yes, A is described as a jack-of-all-trades, as a genius in all pursuits he puts his mind to, but what does that matter in the face of someone who can unite people? Who can give them hope of a better world? Who can inspire them to actually use the talents they have?

And what kind of pressure is it to put the legacy of a messiah in the hands of the diseased?

3. A and the Perception Filter: A is weak to White damage

No, I am serious about that. He's extremely weak mentally. Obviously death of a loved one is a changing experience for absolutely anybody, but Carmen's death destroyed him.

Not only did he refuse to confide this grief to anyone and bottled it up, now everybody looked to him to lead the project, but he just isn't Carmen. He isn't an ambitious person, he doesn't have the same optimism, he can't bring people together, but people expected him to, and he failed. Hard.

While he was without a doubt talented in science, he was also just an average guy.

After her death, A grew to hate humans. He lost trust in them. He refused to confide in anyone, and be confided in by anyone. Thus, the team fell apart.

In both lobcorp and lor, we get interesting tidbits about precations taken to protect the manager.

Firstly, Lobcorp's perception filter. The cartoony art-style of the game is a result of the game being in first person. Through the eyes of the manager, everything is cartoony!

This is a measure undertaken to specifically protect the manager's psyche. Angela tells us that, before it was deployed, the manager would frequently go insane, one notable incident including the manager trying to hang himself. When we first hear this, the previous managers and X are still separate in our minds. However, they're all A! A went insane multiple times without it.

This is understandable, considering that employees also frequently go insane and try to kill both themselves and others. But they're there in action, confronting the Abnormalities directly. Just watching them made the manager go mad. They could not handle the responsibility for the employees' deaths.

In lor, Angela explains why she picked the Rabbit Team from R Corp as their main contractor instead of any other team. One team was simply too big for L Corp's narrow hallways, and the other team... dealt in psychic damage. It was simply too big of a risk for the manager. But the manager is always secure behind the cameras. Would that teams methods just be that brutal visually, or would their attacks have reached the manager?

Combined with his immense grief at all of his friends and coworkers dying in part because of him, A cannot bear to look at death.

4. A's greatest flaw: Avoidance

A common thread during Core Meltdown flashbacks: A refuses to look at suffering. He just can't. Whether it be looking away from Elijah writhing on the floor or hanging up on Daniel's panicked report of death.

This is actually the thing Angela takes the biggest issue with, and what hurt her most. A would never look at her, acknowledge her, and she did not understand why. But I think A did not refuse to look at her out of maliciousness. Rather, it was out of grief over Carmen. He could not look at her without being reminded of what he lost.

Angela's creation came about because A wanted someone to guide him, someone like Carmen. He threw himself into the project to the point it made Benjamin happy that A was passionate about anything again. But as soon as the project he distracted himself with is complete, he is filled with regret. Carmen cannot be replicated, and he breaks again.

Furthermore, tying this back to my first point about A being a reactive person, we see Angela take charge over A. She's the one recruiting employees and leading the business. It was likely a relief for him to be able to step down from the leading position.

But avoiding it made everything worse. He did not act when he saw Elijah's unchecked ambition, he did not act beyond a simple check at Gabriel's decay, he gave Giovanni the same hope he clung to to no avail, et cetera et cetera.

Avoiding his problems is making them worse and sending everything down the drain (including his psyche), so he deals with it the only way he knows how, avoiding them more!

Biggest example of A's big avoidance problem as his psyche crumbles: the memory wipe. A, in perhaps his one singular moment of acknowledging his emotions, recognizes that he is incapable of fulfilling the Script in his current state. His grief is just too much.

By erasing his own memory, he could start fresh without his grief, because he might've really killed himself otherwise. His suffering became bigger and bigger, and he coped by avoiding it.

The memory wipe allowed him to distangle his problems. Through his interactions with the Sephirah (which I will not individually detail for the sake of my sanity and because I dumped all this on a friend on discord already), he can deal with and actually process his issues one at a time.

As the motto describes, only by facing the fear can he build the future. Only by finally facing his grief and acknowleding it, seeing that the past cannot be changed and he has no choice to move forward, can he actually do so.

5. The Sephirah as ghosts

Lobotomy Corporation feels like a ghost story. I've touched upon this in my previous A post.

As you reach the Corp's lower levels, there are less Sephirah. First there are four. They act like normal employees, and do not breach into the story's underbelly until you reach their core supressions and the facade breaks. Second, counting Tiphereth as one, there are three. They still go about their duties, but they know what they are. Third, there are two, and the facade is gone. They know what they are, and they will tell you about the sins of the past.

And finally, you reach Keter, and there is only one.

This gradual decay of the facade is what really gets to me. I said that by interacting with the Sephirah, A deals with his issues one by one, but that's what the Sephirah are, in this case. Representations.

The people the Sephirah used to be are dead, and the Sephirah are their ghosts. The core supression involve putting these ghosts to rest. Doesn't it match the progression of a typical ghost story? Find the ghost, find what they used to be, and help them move on.

So, if everyone is a ghost, then A is alone.

But, behind the scenes, the Sephirah are still there. They are still people, and they have changed for the better, too. As always, A simply does not look.

(Does he even see the good others see in him? Does he look away from praise, too? Did he even realize Benjamin's admiration for him? Will we ever know?)

6. A's end.

A's progression of moving on would be fine and dandy if it did not end as thus: A does kill himself.

A sees himself beyond the point of no return. Everyone is dead. He is alone. Carmen is never coming back. He can't call it quits now, or else everything has been in vain. (Even if the last days show us a part of him wants to just quit, so badly.)

So, there's only one thing left to do: follow the Script to its ending. Fulfill Carmen's legacy at all costs. Death as the ultimate release.

This is the point where I admit I do not like the death as release trope. But the game does a good enough job as presenting it as the only option A had, or the only option he saw himself as having.

However, I've mentioned it before, I'll mention it again: A was not alone. Death was his release, but he left wreckage. In order to end his own suffering, he inflicted the same pain he went through on others.

Throughout the game, he moves on and pushes through. The ending shows that in reality... he didn't.

At least in lor the characters stick together and help each other heal.

This has been most of my thoughts on A, amounting to my longest analysis post ever, having taken me approximately two and a half hours to complete, and clocking in at 2337 words including up to this paragraph.

Thank you anon for giving me the incentive to verbalize all of this, so I can finally be at ease having inflicted my thoughts on everybody else.

[probably-haven]

after binge reading i have come to a new revelation: I’m not a fan of most Xiaoven fanfics

Don’t get me wrong, I love the ship and its one of my favorite to think about.... but most of the fanfiction for the ship just- doesn’t sit right with me for a number of reasons. 

Disclaimer: these are personal opinions from my own taste and are in no way an attack against any authors out there, because frankly fanfic authors are great and not like i could do better lol. As these are personal opinions, I acknowledge here and now that a number of people disagree and that they are under no obligation to change their opinions in any way as it is not and never will be my intention to tell others what they should be thinking That said- read at your own risk if you want- meh, anyway-

time to share some opinions that have been on my mind lately

The biggest reason.... is how they handle Xiao. And I don’t even mean mischaracterization because Xiao is such a complex and yet simultaneously simple character that as long as you’re somewhere in the range of “Xiao vibes” it’s really hard to write him out of character because of his complexities. What I mean is something that i actually completely agree with as being accurate to his character. In nearly every single fanfic I’ve seen, there is some element of idolization that Xiao has for Venti, or for the sake of reference, Barbatos. He tends to think himself beneath Barbatos and/or indebted to him, whether that be because he’s an archon, because he saved him, or simply because of Xiao’s tendency to dehumanize(yes i see the irony in that word usage) himself.  This by itself isn’t an issue but its often how this trait of his is treated.

Imma just list a few ways I’ve seen this be handled within Xiaoven fics. - It isn’t handled, it’s just there and accepted as a part of who he is in the story - It isn’t handled but his trait is treated as source of humor within the story - Venti(and others) roll with it (finding humor in it, just cant change it, encouraging it, making jokes about it, etc.) - Venti takes advantage of it(whether accidentally or purposely) - it’s actually addressed(by Venti or someone else or the narration- can go a number of ways, but just- even a brief reference to the fact that its not a good mindset fits in here) - savior!Venti(Where venti disagrees with it but the way it’s written gives off “god among mortals” vibes- like he’s just being humble and truly is above him in reality) - its the focus of the story  - not directly addressed but shown to be destructive.  - they chose not to not include this in the story’s characterization of Xiao(just saying that this is valid ahead of time) Theres others but i have a lot already.  Note that I tend to read more ‘serious-toned’(idk if that makes sense) fics so that may skew my perception

Now there’s a few that i have issues with on their own- both instances of it not being handled, Venti(and others) rolling with it, Venti takes advantage of it(purposely(and without good intent)), and savior!Venti. Xiao not only has this trait, but he is unfamiliar with what is normal in relationships or emotions as a result of isolation and inexperience. He is also either not aware of or not concerned with what is considered strictly “healthy.” Combining these makes for a rather dangerous combination and just accepting it as “oh he’s just like that, it’s who he is” or making it out to be something funny- It’s not wrong or bad by any means necessarily, and I could still possibly enjoy it to an extent depending on a series of different factors, but its- not as often.  Even in the case where I do enjoy reading it however, I would still feel uncomfortable sharing it with or recommending it to others because in the first instance it feels like normalizing a destructive and dangerous mindset, and in the second case it does the same while simultaneously making a joke of it. It’s the same deal with Venti or other characters rolling with it, but that’s probably gonna be mentioned later too. Not to say that this is a “wrong” way to handle it, that it makes the fic bad, or that authors even are normalizing anything by doing so, just that in my specific instance- not a fan. 

I’ll get to the others when i talk more about Venti, but for now: It’s the focus of the story. I think I saw like... 2? where the story was like- focused on this and why its a problem which- power to them, address those real world problems like a boss- but also i wouldn’t actively seek it out or anything- like, good job, but doing so just leaves it open neutrally for other factors to decide how good a story i think it is. 

not directly addressed but shown to be destructive. You’d think i wouldn’t like this- but frankly in fanfiction not everyone wants to address every character flaw verbally because it can through off story, narration, dialogue, and general flow to do so. This can be with an event, an action, a dialogue, a mere comment, making it actually fit into the it’s actually addressed category except that its- subtle enough to make its own category. plus i live for show not tell- in everything- its a thing. im- very much a fan of when the fics do this but the subtlety is easy to miss and its not common so- 

It’s actually adressed- doesnt have to be a lot- just mention anywhere or imply anywhere that maybe idolizing someone as a god and savior and being in a relationship with them while having little knowledge of standards, emotions, relationships, or healthy behaviors in general- maybe isnt the smartest idea in the word. (”Call me Venti, not Barbatos” by itself is not enough to fit in this category tho as a note)

-

Now lets talk about Venti...

uh.... those who have followed me for awhile will probably already know this but... I have a lot of opinions on Venti and a pretty- “niche(?)” perception of his characterization that isn’t shared by a lot of others- so I don’t actually read as much Venti fanfic in general as you might expect because I often end up disagreeing with how writers portray him, which again, in no way is their characterization wrong, but- “their perceived truth” conflicts with “my perceived truth” and by extent so does the characterization, though neither is any more correct than the other from an objective point of view, if that makes sense... but anyways now that that’s said, moving on before this becomes a philosophy lecture, as fun as that would be for me.  I’ll try to keep my “perceived truth” out of this for the first bit. 

Venti’s response to this: 

He rolls with it: this depends on the mood of the fanfiction. If they dont put a lot of stress on that trait of Xiao’s it totally fine but if the trait seems to be a major part of Xiao’s character, it seems like normalization once more. (more on this later)

he takes advantage of it purposely: if its an AU or something and Venti’s like a villain(i saw a few) then- villain venti isnt my cup of tea but i have no qualms. If they don’t portray Venti in a negative light while having him take advantage however that’s a bit uncomfortable to read for me because it feels like normalizing taking advantage of that mindset as well as the mindset itself. However, i did see a number of instances of Venti using it as leverage for like- self care- which i definitely have no qualms. Xiao: [insert probably destructive idolizing statement about being indebt] Venti: How bout you pay me back by actually sleeping for once smh or other variations are okay and depending on the vibe are actually a really fun dynamic as long as it doesnt turn into romanticizing or normalizing it, y’know?

Venti accidentally taking advantage of it.... I love angst- and in most of these theres a sense of guilt when he realizes- and i just think thats a lovely way of addressing the dangers of such a mindset for both sides. As long as it doesn’t keep repeating to the point of romanticization its totally cool to read in my eyes(not irl ofc). If Venti never realizes he accidentally took or is taking advantage it feels a bit like normalization, and if he does but just- doesn’t care thats- a rip.

savior!Venti...... i- i hate. the story giving off vibes that Xiao’s mindset is technically correct while Venti oh so humbly tells him to treat him as an equal like the wonderful and charitable person he is.... i just- no. of course thats over dramatizing it- I think the main thing that gives it this vibe is when Venti doesn’t seem either concerned, surprised, uncomfortable, or otherwise have a negative feeling towards Xiao’s mindset. Just- it makes the whole thing weird in my eyes when Venti doesnt really seem to have his own reason to oppose the mindset idk- 

-

fact time!

Venti is the god of freedom. His backstory is freeing Mondstadt from a god’s tyrannical reign. His origin is a windsprite, just another breeze bringing changes for the better. His form is a nameless boy who played an instrument and then died, thus failing at his only dream and only ever accomplishing anything because of the help of others. He slept for a thousand years after the archon war to avoid putting Mond under the rule of yet another tyrannical god. He only even became a god because Andrius chose to let him. He wouldn’t have even had that chance if the nameless bard had survived, he’d remain just another wind while his friend ascended to godhood. Venti sacrifices his own power for his people’s freedom. 

now that I’ve laid out a number of canon facts, time for opinions:

Venti has little to no desire to be seen as a god. He thrives in, comes from, and emphasizes a lack of superiority in quite nearly everything. The first Ragnvindir, who canonically turned his back on Venti after Decarabian’s fall, likely did so because one- he anticipated power would corrupt and Venti would soon become just another tyrannical god, two- he suspected Venti used the nameless bard in an attempt to rise to godhood, or three- idk insert other possibilities to acknowledge again that i could totally be wrong.

Look me in the eyes and tell me Venti wouldnt trade godhood for his friend in an instant. His godhood was only granted to him because his friend died and could easily serve to constantly remind him of what could have been and what he lost. Venti takes no enjoyment from being seen as superior and in my opinion, I feel that it could actually make him largely uncomfortable when his divinity and abilities as an archon get involved-

also self promotion for my favorite posts- check out #archon war era venti if thats interesting to you

so anyway Venti rolling with it or making jokes about it just doesn’t sit right with me.- 

-

Okay! enough talking about that mindset!

idk- i have... a few/lot of other gripes and stuff or just things that kinda throw off the vibe for me but that’s the main one plus my general personal pickiness when it come to Venti fanfics- but this has gotten long enough already- 

idk i just felt like rambling about it and i haven’t done a long post in a while so-

again, I love the ship and its actually one of my favorites- just the fanfic isnt my thing..... that doesn’t mean i don’t still love it and come up with a whole ton of brainrot and ideas on it tho lmao

[septembersghost]

I was trying to tell a friend once about how I can handle scary films but not true crime and they got judgy to me about it, but it's a sensitive topic to me and hard to explain the difference

your friend shouldn't have been judgmental to you about what you find upsetting or your own boundaries, i'm sorry they reacted unkindly like that. there's nothing wrong with not being able to handle certain topics/media and asserting your limits is actually a good and healthily protective thing!

so, from my experience, a difficulty i have is the difference in suspension of disbelief. when we're watching a scary movie, there's always an awareness that it's fiction - and this has even been studied, that being afraid within complete safety, where you can switch it off, turn the lights on, have the knowledge that it's not real, can be healthy in working through fear. and i'm still pretty careful with what i can and can't handle because i am SO sensitive and prone to anxiety/intrusive thoughts/nightmares. i was a very sheltered/innocent, soft-hearted/emotional child, and to this day as a spinster lady a lot of that holds true because it's my natural disposition. that said, i also leaned into eerie aesthetics and spookiness (also see: previously discussed odd happenings we experienced irl) and gothic romanticism and classical horror novels/film (which isn't quite the same as more graphic modern horror), and continue to enjoy that. as is evident here at spooky season!

i was exposed to a lot of horror when i was a teen because my ex-best friend was obsessed (the two of us watched countless horror movies and musicals lmao that tells you a lot), so it upped my threshold for a while, but it's shifted back down to cautious sensitivity over the years. (which i realize sounds counterintuitive due to a bunch of my favorite shows that i post on here having horror genre roots lol, let's not unpack that. movies tend to affect me differently because it can be a lot of intensely upsetting content packed into a short time, whereas with a show you build a sense of familiarity/connectivity/comfort because you get to know the characters so well, which for me, makes it more about them and their stories than it does the sense of fear.) i especially struggle to handle media with any animal ab*se or tort*re p*rn or most s/a, and that's my responsibility to gauge.

anyway, when i'm watching, say, a slasher film, i know that's not real, and every actor was fine and went home safely. when i'm watching vampires, i know they're not real (and i was terrified of them when i was little! ghosts and i were mostly cool, vampires were the proverbial monster in my closet, my initial interest in them was a facet of trying to conquer that fear). or when i'm watching, to call myself out on something i've written/thought a lot about/been invested in, dexter, there's an element of fantasy. dex is a serial killer, but also an antihero and essentially a vigilante, taking out far worse people. there's a vicarious sense of satisfaction in that, because psychologically some part of us wishes we could stop bad people from doing bad things. (and of course the tragedy from his trauma and his actions becomes inability to keep his loved ones safe from that darkness and violence bleeding into his life.) i've certainly seen my fair share of crime procedurals too (bones! castle when it was good! and so on), and i've read mysteries my whole life, starting with nancy drew and sherlock holmes, then agatha christie, etc, and grew up watching mysteries with my mom too (adaptations of all the aforementioned. the thin man and assorted film noir and hitchcock. remington steele, my formative beloved!). there are also, notably, solutions in fiction - mysteries are solved, spirits are exorcised, monsters are stopped, masks are removed, the sun comes out again (most of the time). we accept final girls as victorious survivors. we know what the themes and symbolisms are, we expect some sense of catharsis.

but with true crime...it's a lot more complicated. my suspension of disbelief evaporates because i know, while the actors may be okay, the very real living beings involved are not. it always leaves me with this scratchy feeling of that darkness, like residue that clings. (and it's not like i never watch it - i watched candy earlier this year, because the case is almost bewildering and i wanted to see how they handled it, and i like several of the actors; i watched like half of under the banner of heaven, which was very unsettling. i don't tend to do the real serial killer thing because it's typically too gruesome and inhumane for me. fiction has been the only place i can stand that topic being tackled.) obviously, that's going to be different for every person, and like i said previously, it's very complex in handling those stories with respect and appropriate care for victims and not sensationalism of the perpetrator or exploitation of events. when something is done in a way that feels wrong or damaging, we're certainly allowed to acknowledge and push back against that. it gets really tricky and difficult, that line of freedom in art not crossing into traumatization, and i don't know what the solution for that is, if there even is one. ultimately all we can do is make the choices that feel right for us as far as choosing to engage or not, knowing what will be detrimental to our mental health, and keeping the realities in mind when necessary. it IS a sensitive topic, and you are always allowed to say no, to avoid things, and to put yourself first.

[sladewilsonisanantihero]

The Original Intent of Terra and how Deathstroke got the bad end of the stick for it

Okay, Deathstroke Children (Idk what to call you guys because fellow Deathstrokers would end this conversation immediately), I found the time to do this, so let's get to it!

(Note: My original laptop broke with my comics, so I have no images to spare, so it will be sourced. Another note: Many words will be in bold. Partly so that for those reading will not lose track.)

But if tl;dr:

Cold Hard Truth: Everyone from Terra fans to Deathstroke fans needs to stop seeing these characters as real people.

Original Terra wasn't human trafficked or whatever sob story people want to label her with. The CREATORS intended her to be written as Evil without the mental illness and to die for the shock value. They had Raven, The Literal Empath, spell this out in Judas Contract. As for Deathstroke's involvement, he was shoved into her creation story, and Marv Wolfman himself recognized his mistake in doing that.

And for those calling Deathstroke a nazi, Original Terra had nazi-like beliefs where common people should fear and serve them or be killed off just because they're 'special'. Again, BLUNTLY stated in the Judas Contract. So if you're going to call Deathstroke a Pedophile, we'll call OG Terra a Neo-Nazi. (But I highly advice for Deathstroke Fans to not start that kind of war, but I had to say what I had to say.)

Don't get me wrong. (Hopefully all) Deathstroke fans know that their relationship was wrong just like Marv Wolfman, and we do not support pedophiles! But Slade isn't a pedophile! He was never intended to be written as one! It was a mistake made on many levels and should be rewritten like OG Terra's Evil Neo-Nazi-like personality, instead of being thrown into cancel culture.

Also for Deathstroke fans, don't get upset over their content and begin any argument emotionally. Just enjoy whatever good content we can get and support it if you can. Hopefully we'll get our Deathstroke movies and so on!

So I've briefly chatted with one of you over the matter with Terra/Tara Markov and how upsetting it is about how people refer to Slade Wilson as a Pedophile. That is a serious accusation that would make it very uncomfortable to argue about since it can easily make it seem like we justify the actions of pedophiles, and that we are part of pedophile culture that does exist in social media space.

AND WE SHOULDN'T, AND FOR ANTIS READING THIS WE WON'T.

But there was a time when I used to have a blog called friendlyremindersofsladewilson, where I defended Slade and put the blame all on Terra. I was 14 at the time, and looking back at it, I am not proud of it because I realized now as an adult how I defended it for most of the wrong reasons, but still stand with the fact that SLADE IS NOT A PEDOPHILE.

And since this took place when I was so young, it compelled me to write this post because I fear some of you are really young, too, and may end up in this regretful position.

So to make it clear, what Slade had been written to do is a crime, and we should acknowledge it, but not in the way as if it was a crime acted out in real life.

What I mean by that is that there's a clear separation between fiction and reality where one isn't real (Duh!). In this case, it's about the mistakes made between fiction and reality. In reality, mistakes made by the person responsible is on the person. In fiction, mistakes made is dependent on the creator's intent, and sometimes the creators can make mistakes themselves.

Most notably Terra's:

Tara Markov/Terra was created by Marv Wolfman and George Perez.

In Marv Wolfman's literal website, he stated in his online "What the-?" column:

"Which leads to Terra. That was easy. George and I wanted a Titan who betrayed the others. we also wanted to play against every reader conception of who characters are. George and I knew her whole story before we began and we knew she would die. We set the story up with her trying to destroy the Statue of Liberty to show she was the bad girl, but we knew if George drew her as a cute kid everyone would simply assume she would be ‘turned’ from the dark side because that’s the way it was always done which is why that wouldn’t be the way we did it. Tara was insane an stayed that way right until the moment she died. By the way, she IS dead. I don’t know what other writers will do with her – if anything – but if they want to honor the original series they will leave her dead. The Terra from Team Titans was – as stated – some kid the villain kidnapped and physically and mentally altered her into looking and acting like the original. But she was NEVER the real Terra."

And it should also be noted that he stated before this statement that:

"...Only mistake I think I made with him is having him have a physical relationship with the 16 year old Tara Markov. That was wrong."

So Marv Wolfman himself recognizes that what he did was a mistake, but his intent on Terra was never to write a victim.

And quick note: Insanity isn't written as a mental illness here. It's written like how many villains are labeled as insane for having skewed beliefs that deviates from the common good.

Terra truly had some nazi-like beliefs where she BELIEVED that everyone who wasn't 'special' like her and the Teen Titans deserved to be treated like shit because they weren't 'special' like them. She bluntly said it herself in the Judas Contract.

As for George Perez's comment in an interview I found in this website:

"GEORGE: Tara was just a cute little girl, although I based a little bit of that on my wife Carol’s sister, Barbara. A little upturned nose… Barbara does not have the teeth that Tara had. I wanted Tara to be a girl who looked normal. Which also means her death caught everyone even more offguard.

Tara, she was made to be killed; she served her purpose. That was it.

ANDY: You didn ‘t get any attachment to Tara?

GEORGE: No, because I knew we were going to kill her. So I deliberately used all the things to make her as likeable and cute as possible, so people would never believe we were going to kill a sixteen-year-old. And she was a sixteen-year-old sociopath. She was one of our cleverest gimmicks; we deliberately created her in order to lead everyone astray. So we couldn’t build any fondness for her, ’cause we knew full well what her whole motive for existence was. Her existence was basically to keep the stories interesting; we were tossing a curve that no one would have expected.

ANDY: You didn ‘t even love to hate her, huh?

GEORGE: No. I loved handling her, because she was such a good idea. But she was an idea. Not as much a person. She was there to show exactly how much their humanity can be one thing they have to be careful about, the Teen Titans have to be careful about. . . they can be too trusting, or their own weaknesses can be used against them."

Terra was supposed to be a representation of An Evil Betrayal of Trust and That Not All Cute Girls Are Good.

But they took it too far by making her sleep with Deathstroke because they wanted to truly make her look evil by literally sleeping with the enemy. Y'know because this was the 80s, and women having sex was an evil act back then, and that point of view has somewhat or barely improved 40 years later.

Deathstroke was just shoved into this idea, and Marv tried and perhaps failed at trying to undo this mistake with his talk with Beastboy (Tales of the Teen Titans issue #55) and before his confrontation from Wintergreen (Deathstroke (1991); Chapter 35).

So just as I had stated at the top in the tl;dr, it was a mistake made on many levels and should have been rewritten out just as many had done with OG Terra's true personality, and be done with it.

Random person: "He still slept with a 16-year-old."

And it's not that hard to make other heroes and villains do this mistake. Because again, it's all fiction. Deathstroke's fictional. As in Not Real, so we could literally undo the damage by rewriting this mistake. Or make it worse by making Terra the rapist by her using her Earth powers to bind Slade down and force him, and you can't deny that it's plausible. Because she's fictional. Anything can happen. So why didn't Slade tell Beastboy whether he slept with her or not, maybe it was because he really didn't want to but he was forced into it. And that's just something you can't dump on a very emotional man who was trying to kill you a moment ago.

ALL THE POSSIBILITIES BECAUSE IT'S FICITIONAL!

But ANYWAY, I went way too dark there.

Ending on a brighter note: Personally to all Deathstroke fans, please value your mental health, please don't start any arguments that'll compromise it, and continue supporting Deathstroke in whatever way you can!

[ramblingguy54]

So, you see that season 3 trailer that was revealed on Braly's Lightbox Expo panel? How much does that make you excited for season 3 of Amphibia like with Sasha's redemption (especially when she is reading Anne's journal), those scenes of Olivia and Yunnan (that's gonna fuel Olivia/Yunan being Marcy's lesbian moms idea) rescuing Marcy, the Plantars having to blend in and wear human clothing, and Anne, her parents, and Plantars on Earth stuff?

     I didn't actually see it on Matt Braly's Lightbox Expo panel, but checked it out today as I've been busy with stuff on my end. 

     Anyways, I'm just as pumped as anyone else in the fandom currently is to get more footage of Season 3 before it airs in early October! It's very cool and interesting to see Olivia & Yunan switching sides, which people had been speculating about whether or not they'd stick with Andrias after he revealed what a cold blooded tyrant he truly is by Season 2's finale. I noticed we get a shot of Olivia showing Marcy Newtopia's environment when she first presumably arrives there in a flashback from her reflecting on feeling bad for the kid after all that has transpired currently.

     It does make sense why Olivia would turn on Andrias after she devoted herself to serving for Newtopia's greatness for awhile. To see it all be risked of getting wiped out because of Andrias' lust for universal conquest was a grim reality check, no doubt. Olivia may be stuck up to a degree in how she carries herself, but this lady isn't heartless for sure. Olivia made it evident in Marcy At The Gates how much respect she has to Marcy as a person for the accomplishments and help she's lent their society as a whole. It'd be pretty strange for her to willingly go along with seeing Andrias torment a poor kid through God knows what kind of experimenting.

     You can easily make the same argument for General Yunan, too. The Newt Warrior poured a lot of her passion into what she did for Andrias. Yunan was doing it to be acknowledged, hence the whole repeating her name running gag deal, where seeing Andrias' cruel nature must've been hard to accept after how kind he's been previously. I wouldn't be surprised if Olivia probably helped convince Yunan to stand up against Andrias and save Marcy, so it'll be cool to see how this all plays out.

     God, I’m so looking forward to seeing what kind of dramatic stuff we’ll get for Sasha’s redemption arc in Season 3′s run time, overall. Seeing her come across Anne’s forgotten journal in the Plantar’s basement is gonna lead into some very good stuff for Sasha’s newfound remorseful nature. Hell, I wouldn’t be surprised if she comes across an entry from Anne’s journal detailing the events of their big falling out in Season 1′s finale, Reunion. Looking at these two pics get me so emotional right now because I love we don’t get to see Sasha’s reaction to stumbling upon this item, but you can damn well bet she’s feeling so regretful after backstabbing Anne.

     After seeing the level of care Anne & Marcy’s characters had in the first two seasons, I’m stoked to find out how they’ll do Sasha Waybright journey of moral improvement justice. She’s arguably the most interesting of these three girls for that serious amount of insecurity Sasha tries to cover up with strength and control. Knowing we’re gonna see Anne’s parents has me wondering about what we’re gonna see outta Sasha’s family background, considering the focus will be a lot more upon her learning to grow past whatever deep seeded issues she has.

     I’m sure there will be plenty of funny scenarios the Plantars will get themselves into, although more than anything I’d say what I’m most looking forward to is seeing how they’ll further deepen their bond with Anne as a whole. Anne slowly became accustomed to their reality learning to live off the land, fend for herself, and most importantly fit into their town of Wartwood. Now it’s the Plantars turn to be thrown into the very same seat of understanding how Anne’s world exactly operates. 

     This reversal allows for more stuff to occur like Anne & Sprig getting more sister/brother bonding, Polly & Anne material, and Hop Pop getting some quality time with her as well after their dramatic tension in Season 2 with his lie about the Calamity Box coming out into the open. Who’s to say there couldn’t be a future episode addressing Anne & Hop Pop relationship coming into another situation requiring one another’s trust?

     Anne’s parents being thrown into the mix for a new change in dynamic for her emotionally is high upon my list of stuff I can’t wait to see play out. She doesn’t have just one family to protect anymore, but two. Her parents & the Plantars mean everything to Anne, so I totally see a bunch of drama happening where she’ll try to shoulder the responsibility of handling Andrias’ ominous threat over Earth. After everything Anne has gone through these past two season the kid has a ton of baggage on her plate whether it’s watching Marcy be stabbed, feeling betrayed by her two closest friends, making her parents worry about where she could’ve disappeared off to, and most importantly learning to harness the Calamity powers to protect everything dear to herself.

     Amphibia Season 3 has a ton of stuff I’m looking forward to seeing unfold throughout this final part of a great story about friendship and family. The drama has been so well written watching Matt Braly & crew top their efforts for crucial storytelling time and time again. So, yeah, I’m very happy to see it return. October is going to be a damn treat for the Amphibia community and just in time after Owl House ended it’s first part of Season 2 on a powerful cliffhanger.