#anyways don't catch me getting annoyed at history AGAIN

[vellichorius]

the greatest showman sucks a little bit once you realise that the actual p.t. barnum was an actual dick

[star-sim]

"is your girlfriend single?" ☆ enha maknaes

☆ youtuber! non-idol! bf! enhypen maknae line x fem! reader ☆ summary: when your youtuber boyfriend finally shows you for the first time to his audience. ☆ genre: fluff, very dumb, jelly boys ☆ warning(s)? no! ☆ ygs seemed to like the hyung version so here's the maknae version!! reblogs and comments are appreciated <3

hyung ver.

sunoo ☆

OKAY HEAR ME OUT

this one is gonna be a lil different

paranormal investigator sunoo

he's like buzzfeed unsolved

and for one of his seasons, he goes and investigates haunted places and reviews their histories yk?

for the season finale

sunoo visits the bellaire house, which is notorious for being super haunted and ghost-infested

i like to think that sunoo is honestly skeptical abt ghosts

like he definitely has tried to talk to them, but hasn't discovered anything conclusive to definitively prove the existence of ghosts

anyways because it's the season finale

sunoo has a special guest...

you! his gf!

i think he'd be low key about your relationship, but his viewers know who you are

the video starts off normal

sunoo gives a rundown of the history of the bellaire house, like when it was built, the people that lived in it, the strange occurences in there, etc

the bickering between you and sunoo as you go over the bellaire house is very cute and sweet

it definitely makes it into those "sunoo and [name] being a comedic duo" compilations aw

anyways now its time to investigate the bellaire house head on 😈

sunoo pulls out all his cool ghost-catching gadgets

he tries everything

like the thermal camera, EMF meter, even the goddamn magnetic field detector

sunoos getting annoyed bc why are none of the ghosts talking to him :(

on the other hand

you're clinging onto him, hiding behind ur bf scared shitless

i mean like.... why would you not the bellaire house is known for having DEMONS 😭😭

sunoo huffs and turns to the camera, "welp it looks like there's no ghosts here"

one of the people in his camera crew suggest having you ask instead of him

even though youre scared you do it for ur bf

you're like "hi ghosts..... if you're here with us... please flicker the lights"

.

.

.

THE LIGHTS BEGIN TO FLICKER AAAAAAAA

AND SUNOOS HYPED OUT OF HIS MIND

"BABE BABE BABE ASK THEM THEIR NAME"

so youre like "ghosts... whats your name"

and NO JOKE

A WIND BLOWS PAST THE ROOM

AND EVERYONE IN THE ROOM SWEARS THEY HEAR SOMEONE WHISPER FAINTLY

"robert"

so that's how you and sunoo meet robert the ghost

BUT THAT'S NOT THE END

BECAUSE SUNOO HAS THE BRILLIANT IDEA OF PULLING OUT HIS OUIJA BOARD

tbh you both look dumb as hell

sitting on the crusty bellaire house floor

hunched over a ouija board

sunoo is now asking questions

but the ouija board doesn't even move

but when you ask

"robert, how are you today? yes for good, and no for bad"

THE GODDAMN PLANCHETTE MOVES TO YES AKA GOOD 😭

you and sunoo then introduce yourselves

again, when sunoo introduces himself nothing happens

but when you introduce yourself

the candle that's lit beside you goes out

someone in sunoo's camera crew jokes that they think that robert the ghost likes you

so sunoo jokingly asks "robert are you flirting with my girlfriend?"

AND THE OUIJA BOARD SAYS YES 😭😭😭

and when you kiss sunoo the doors in the house start slamming and shit like SOMEONES MAD

sunoo is lowk offended

and then he starts to beef with robert the ghost

except robert the ghost never respond to anything that sunoo says

bro leaves sunoo on heard

sunoos like "HEY ROBERT I DON'T CARE IF YOURE A DEMON YOU BETTER BACK THE FUCK UP!!"

later when ygs review the emf recorder it picks up robert the ghost whispering "i don't care 🙄"

sassy ass ghost

on the other hand

robert responds to EVERYTHING you say

atp you're not scared anymore

"hai robert i'm [name], knock over that doll over there if you want to be my friend"

and the doll knocks over 😭

"robert knock on the window if you think i'm cute :3"

KNOCK KNOCK KNOCK

the camera crew is just laughing their asses off

at some point

the ouija board starts moving on its own

everyones like WOAHHH IT'S ACTUALLY MOVING!!! QUICK GET A PIECE OF PAPER SO WE CAN RECORD WHAT ITS SAYING!!!

sunoo is taking such dilligent notes

it starts with i, then s, then it spells out your name, and then s, i, n, g, l, e

" ' IS [NAME] SINGLE' ???"

is what the ouija board says

yes a goddamn ghost just asked that

SUNOO IS NOT HAVING IT

while you and the camera crew are cracking up

sunoo starts telling off robert

"listen bro just because you died in the bellaire house doesn't mean that you can try to take my gf 😐"

robert the ghost is being sassy too

so sunoo literally just snaps the ouija board in half

"haha you can't talk anymore robert .😐."

yk how in buzzfeed unsolved they take turns staying in the haunted place alone with all the lights off

sunoo kicks everyone out so that he can have a "man to man" talk with robert

robert isn't a physical person but everyone swears they hear crying

.... and it sure isn't coming from sunoo 😇

i think this would go really viral

"[name] is so beautiful that even dead people want her"

"robert the ghost is so me"

"even ghosts aren't immune to beautiful women"

"robert saw a hot woman and took his chance"

this would become an inside joke within sunoo's fandom fs

sunoo isn't having it though

he definitely still tweets about it

"i remember when some loser ghost tried to take my girlfriend"

"robert fuck you i'm glad you died"

"see you hell robert"

i def think robert is scared of sunoo now

LMAO

jungwon ☆

jungwon is documentary youtuber

he likes to make short documentaries about topics that he likes

kinda like wendigoon or fern or real horror

i feel like he'd have a super high quality mic that's super crisp

i think he'd like to make iceberg videos, or videos about obscure missing people stories

anyways

jungwon has a whiteboard that he uses to explain things

esp like timelines

but in one of his videos he doesn't use the whiteboard so it's in the background

so you write a little message on it

its just a very simple

"[name] was here :3 !!"

i feel like only a few people notice it

but as more and more videos pass

and jungwon doesn't use the whiteboard

your little messages get bigger and bigger

until one day the entire board is filled up with just "[NAME] WAS HERE!!!"

sorry i think a lot of jungwon's viewerbase would be redditors, just given what his content is like

r/jungwon LMAAOAOAO

on there someone brings it up

theyre like "who is [name]"

some ppl suggest that it's probably a friend or his gf

it's pretty chill tbh, his viewerbase isn't really too concerned

until one day

jungwon does one of those investigating 411 missing persons cases

except ygs live near one of the places where someone went missing

so he's physically walking along the path where someone went missing as he tells the story

poor baby is lowk kinda scared tho so he takes you along with him

youre mostly behind the camera but you do talk

at the beginning of the video he's like

"hi guys i'm joined by my girlfriend today"

you pop into frame to say hi

anyways like i said you do talk during this video

like as jungwon tells the story you're reacting behind the camera

"it's crazy that a 4 year old traversed 30 miles up a mountain in a matter of 30 hours..."

and behind the camera you're like "omg no way that's wild 😱😱😱"

youre like genuinely invested

you're also cracking a lot of jokes w him too

its really sweet bc most of his videos jungwon is alone, but since youre in this w him, he's smiling so much ;(

and like everytime he makes a joke you can see him looking off-camera to look at your reaction

and when you laugh everyone can literally see how proud he is

this video so SUPER well received

his comment section is so sweet

"i've never seen jungwon smile so much, he's so in love with [name] :("

"the way you can tell jungwon is proud when [name] laughs at his jokes"

but i think the most common type of comment are those type stamp ones

"at 1:23 [name]'s laugh is so cute!"

"0:58 when the camera panned over to [name] my jaw dropped... she's gorgeous!"

"5:29 [NAME] IS SO FUNNY I LOVE HER"

"at 4:40 i love the way [name] completes jungwon's sentence, i've never seen two people that are just so perfect for each other"

yk how on youtube there's that feature where you can see the most replayed part?

when you pop into frame that's the most replayed part of his video 😭

his viewerbase on reddit probably posts you

like its a screenshot from the video and theyre like "it's [name]! the one on the whiteboard!"

i think his fanbase would be really nice on reddit too :(

"she's so pretty!"

"jungwon has immaculate taste"

indeed he does <3

he's so proud of you, like i think he definitely looks at the comments and screenshots them to keep reading them

like YES THAT'S MY GIRLFRIEND

HOWEVER

jungwon makes those "going through my subreddit" videos

and he comes across a post hyping you up

at first hes liek "YES YES YES MY GF IS SO BEAUTIFUL"

but then the comments on the post are like

"she's so beautiful, do ygs think she's single?"

"hi [name] 😏 (i am the ceo of amazon and read feminist literature books btw)"

obv all jokes

and jungwon's face visibly drops

he gives the camera a MAD side eye

a STINK EYE

jungwons like "all right, who said that 🤨"

AND THEN HE REPORTS AND BANS THEM 😭

he makes posts on his subreddit like "all of u are going missing next time i see shit like this"

HELP

riki ☆

sorry he's a shitposter

i think riki posts those genshin impact and fortnite playthroughs

but he also posts other gamer things

but he actually has a good fanbase

he's at like 900k subscribers even though he doesn't have a fixed upload schedule or specific genre of post

he's never showed his face like ever on his channel, but he definitely shows his personality through editing, video descriptions, and community posts

one day though

riki randomly posts a video titled "me and my girlfriend at the arcade"

and its a video of you and him on an arcade date :(

the majority of it is him behind the camera recording you as you play games

the way you can hear him chuckling behind the camera as you have cute reactions :((((

but there's also times where he's on camera

like when he's playing with the claw machine

and bc riki is a pro

he wins a you giant teddy bear!!

your cute lil cheers when he wins are like the most replayed part of the video

he takes such cute pictures of you hugging the bear aw

honestly his viewers are surprised when he posts the video

bc he used to be posting genshin impact videos why is there a vlog

but theyre not complaining

this video becomes one of his most viewed

since youre most of the video there's a lot of comments abt you

and i think his audience is close enough with riki to shit on him LMAAOAO

"[name] is so sweet i wanna hug her"

"i wish i was a teddy bear..."

"SHE'S SO CUTE"

"move aside riki"

"is [name] single by any chance"

"omg who is that weird random guy (riki) that keeps coming near you [name] is he bothering you queen"

"[name] who is this random guy are you cheating on me"

riki responds to these comments too

"you can't have her" "too bad she's lying in my arms right now" "she just kissed me" "do want want my girlfriend or a black eye"

he definitely starts fights

i think his video is so viral that he gets ppl outside his audience

and some ppl get mad when riki fights back 😭😭😭

“why is he fighting people they’re clearing joking” and riki responds like “yeah why is he fighting 🤬🤬🤬😡😡😡”

and then riki gets petty

and makes a video called

"addressing everything."

its like a logan paul apology video

it's also like 30 seconds 😭

"hi all... i just wanted to come here and apologize... for having a HOT GIRLFRIEND" and then he flips off the camera and it cuts off with you saying "babe?--"

lowk goes viral for it LMAO

behold the keyboard warrior trilogy- heehoonki ☠️

in the future riki does post more of your cute vlogs

and in the descriptions he's just ranting abt how much he loves you

lowk all the vlogs are basically just him admiring you

cuties

[vhstown]

super short london slang guide !!

i haven't got a scooby doo about cockney so this is mainly gonna be mle and like the way 14 year old secondary school boys talk oookay let's go (just so yk i am a londonder!!!!!)

direct things to call people (or avoid calling people)

bruv, blud, man, mate, fam (can use in replacement of a pronoun like he, she, you and i or for emphasis — "man's got a meeting, bruv!")

more on "man" it can be used in plural too — "us man" or "them man" or "you man"

my g, my guy (for referring someone you are friendly/friends with)

bossman (something you'd call a shop or business owner — "aye bossman get me the 3 wings and chips yeah")

big man (usually used in a sarcastic friendly but kind of demeaning way, the older cousin of "big guy" — "oi big man what you sayin' cuz?"

i wasnt going to put these here cause of personal preference but 😭 people are gonna use them anyway so i might as well tell you what they mean:

peng (adjective cute/pretty — "her? she's peng!")

leng (adjective hot/sexy — "rah, he's leng you know?)

nouns

ting (usually to refer to a girlfriend but can also just mean "thing"... or a knife? — "don't chat to my ting fam!")

grim (very outdated word for a promiscuous woman — "she's a grim bruv!")

skeng (gun)

shank, spinner (knife)

paper, Ps, pronounced "peas" (money)

ends (neighbourhood, area — "if i catch you in my ends yeah")

mandem (group of friends — "having a laugh at the pub with the mandem" aha)

gyaldem (group of women / female friends)

ganja (weed)

blem (cigarette)

pagan/paigon (snitch or untrustworthy person, not a super common you might wanna use "snake" or "snitch" instead)

wasteman (someone who's useless, a lowlife)

pussio/pussyo (pussy, coward)

other common words and phrases

wagwan, or "wag1" in text (what's up, what's going on)

bare (a lot — "i got bare problems with him!")

gassed (prideful, full of yourself — "im actually so gassed, man got promoted"

"and that" (instead of "and stuff" — "i got links and that")

"allow it" (let something slide — "i forgot my wallet allow it bossman")

safe (like "alright cool", or as a bye — "aight safe")

"pattern up" (fix up, get it together)

hard, tight (cool, good, though "hard" is also used in an offensive way — "bro thinks he's hard, pussio")

blam (to get shot, not actually very common to hear in my experience)

sheffed (up), shanked (to get stabbed)

ahlie (used as an interjection when in agreement with something, similar to phrase "am i lying?")

non-mle specific words i hear sometimes

thick (dumb, stupid)

clapped/tapped (ugly, weird, unattractive)

merk/murk (kill, beat up)

slag, sket (slut)

chav (used to refer to someone of the low social status, associated with violent or rude behaviour)

taking the mick, taking the piss (being annoying)

mad (means crazy obviously but people use it a lot, can have positive and negative connotations — "that's mad!")

nonce (literally means pedophile / sex offender, do what you will with it 😭)

dickhead, bellend (similar to douchebag)

wanker (used towards someone you dislike, or in a joking way)

geezer (usually to refer to an old man)

also!!!

depending on which communities are predominant in the area, words from other languages can come in / have come in

some words are common with US slang too because they share origins 😁 ain't that cool

there's a lot of influence from jamaican patois due to the history of british jamaicans in london for ex in words like "ting" or "mandem" or "wagwan" (hence why mle is sometimes referred to as "jafrican") and its not strange to hear "bomboclaat" or "bloodclaat" here either

in communities where there's muslims and arabs (especially in east london) you might hear arabic terms like "wallahi", "khalas" or "astagfirullah" (though people debate whether that's cultural appropriation or not)

south asians have also had an influence with words like "gora" or "ganja" though again this is largely area based and the impact of hinglish is also found a lot outside of london

some people have a mix of different dialects! i mainly alternate between mle and estuary (sometimes yorkshire don't ask it is very easy to pick up...)

you're not gonna hear every single word here all the time the usage varies throughout london. the way north and west londoners speak can be v different for example

uhhhh if you wanna learn properly just listen to some grime or sutn . listen to londoners speak!

for some more resources in-depth PLEASE check out these guides made by other british people ! (one and two)

ok that's it bye bye british ppl & londoners feel free to add on! it is midnight rn so ive probably missed stuff lol... dms are open in case you've got any questions or want any help :p

[chee-shep]

Favorite Student (Teacher!Sanemi X SeniorStudent!Reader)

I've written sloppy smut, but this is the worst one yet.

I haven't written in while. I'll go back and re-read it later to double check perspectives since I've had a bad habbit of mixing them.

Mature & General Content Warning: StudentXTeacher, fingering, squirting, Kaigaku being a bully and a bit of an ooc Sanemi at times

“It has to be here somewhere,” (Y/N) said as she dug through the trash can, looking for her lost item.

“(Y/N)?” A familiar, stern voice was heard from behind her. She turned around to see the math teacher, Sanemi Shinzugawa looking at her with his arms folded. “What on earth are you doing here after hours?”

“Huh?” (Y/N) said, turning around after stepping away from looking in a trash can. She was probably Sanemi’s best student, the only one who listened in math. Just maybe she was his favorite, “Oh, Mr. Shinazugawa.” It was odd she was at school after hours, she was a good senior student who wouldn’t be getting into trouble.

In the teacher's mind, she was not the type of student to do something mischievous or foolish, so he assumed she had a pretty valid reason for being at school. "Why are you here?" He repeated his question, his arms still crossed.

“Someone stole my diary, and I was trying to find it.” She said, looking worried as looked back in the trash can, “I thought maybe he’d have tossed it out after he probably read through it…”

His eyes widened when you informed him that someone stole your diary. He felt protective over you, since she was known as his favorite student. "Let me ask you something. Do you have any idea who stole your diary?" He asked, his tone turning more serious.

“It… It was Kaigaku.” She admitted, looking away. She had really hoped that she could take care of this issue on her own.

His eyebrows shot up, and his jaw dropped a bit. He could not believe that a fellow student would steal his favorite student's diary. But then again, it was Kaigaku.

"And why do you think it was him?" He asked, with suspicion.

“He told me he wanted me to do his history homework for him…” She said, looking very upset her diary was gone. “I guess he wanted to use it as blackmail, or hold it over my head.”

Sanemi-Shinazugawa's eyes widened with disbelief and rage as he processed what you just said. "So... this was all because you didn't let him cheat off of you.."

“Yes…” (Y/N) wasn’t the type to let someone copy her. She’d be more than willing to help and tutor, but she wouldn’t aid cheating.

"Hmm..." *He thought for a moment, tapping his chin.* "He has to have put it somewhere... I don't think he would just toss it out..." Part of him wanted to catch Kaigaku with it, just to take the annoying brat down a peg.

“He might still have it.” She said sadly, wondering just how many pages he’d probably have already read through.

"I bet he still has it." He grumbled, crossing his arms and clenching his fists a bit. He got mad whenever anyone did something mean to you, his favorite student.

“I guess I should just go home then, and to track him down tomorrow.” She said, “I should get going, it’s almost about to start raining…”

He was about to let her go, but he stopped her. "Wait, Lilli. Before you go, answer me one more question."

“Huh?” She was confused but followed him anyway to the school entrance.

Sanemi had thought as much. Your diary was probably your safe space of sorts, and he figured that you could get really honest and personal in it.

"And... is there anything specific about..." *He hesitated to ask the question that was on his mind. But still, he couldn’t help but wonder what could be in there that Kaigaku would be desperate to get his hands on.

“Boys?” She guessed the end of his sentence,* “Yes, more personal feelings written in there…”

"Hmph..." The math teacher mumbled before clearing his throat and saying with a slightly less strict tone, "Alright. Well, I guess you still should go home... it's late and the rain's almost here..."

“Yeah, I better hurry.” She said, “Thank you for understanding.” She was glad she wasn’t in trouble for trying to find her lost possession.

He only nodded and watched her walk down the hallway as his eyes followed her, making sure she made it out of the school safely in the late night. Part of him was worried about her walk home, but hopefully the short walk from school would be okay.

Lilli missed math class that next morning, something unusual and out of character for her. As the students left he could hear whispers about Lilli crying in the broken girls bathroom.

That bathroom had been broken for months, causing it to be abandoned by students. No water supply to it left it as a secret hangout or for Lilli a hiding place to cry in.

The math teacher grew suspicious and concerned when hearing the rumors that (Y/N) was crying in the abandoned girl's room. He immediately left his classroom and went straight to the girl's restroom.

"(Y-Y/N)?" Sanemi called out, the anger in his voice becoming something a bit more concerned and even, dare he not say, protective. "Is that you?"

"I'm down here..." She whimpered, making Sanemi realize she was crying on the floor, curled up under a sink.

He crouched down in front of her, his tone turning more gentle. "What's wrong, (Y/N)? I heard you crying and I-" His eyes widened and his heart nearly dropped in horror when he saw the graffiti on the wall.

Suddenly, a large piece of graffiti in the hallway caught his attention. *In huge letters it read, ‘(Y/N) Loves Mr. Shinazugawa' as if someone had found out a secret and wanted to taunt and torture her with it.

"He's painted it everywhere," she said, "It's all over campus."

The math teacher grit his teeth, it felt like steam could come out of his ears as if he was an enraged kettle.

"That stupid ass..." He snapped, but immediately turned a bit softer and looked genuinely a bit worried for your safety. "He didn't hurt you, did he?"

"No..." She whimpered, her face buried in her knees.

"(Y/N), look at me." He said in a stern, but yet reassuring tone, crouching before her and placing a hand on her shoulder.

(Y/N) shyly looked up at him, her mascara running down her face from how she had been crying.

He felt his heart sink when he saw the tears running down her face and the makeup running down with it. His entire persona softened and his strictness disappeared as if it was all just a show.

"(Y/N)... don't beat yourself up over it..." He said, using a gentle, comforting tone that he's only used for the rare moments he ever encountered little kids. "If you want, you don't have to go to your final class today... You can just go to the nurse’s office until I take care of this..."

"I... I don't want to go to the nurse..." She whimpered, "It's the last period of the day, can't I just... hide in here?" 

He pondered for a bit before sighing and nodding. "Fine... But don't get yourself caught, okay?" He replied as he stood and dusted himself off, before looking down at her again. "If you need anything, my classroom is right down the hall. You can come to my classroom instead. Got it?"

"Can I just hide in there?" She asked, knowing this last class of the day was his free period.

"Hmm... Fine." He said after thinking again and holding out a hand to help her up. "But you've got to promise to keep it a secret and not let other students see you in there, okay?"

"Okay," She said, taking his hand and standing up.  

When they got into her classroom she sat in her usual seat. She decided now that this would be a good time to do today's homework assignments.

The math teacher sat at his desk and continued to grade tests, keeping an eagle eye watch at the door in case a student passed by. He looked over to see Lilli starting to do her homework, and felt bad for her. He had to say something to ease her worries a bit.

"Hey, Lilli..." He said, his tone surprisingly gentle and soft as he made a motion for her to come and sit by him at his desk.

"Y-Yes Mr. Shinazugawa?" She said, a bit startled. She was still a bit embarrassed about the secret of her crush on him being out.

He looked her directly in the eyes and gave her a very gentle and warm smile that nearly turned him into almost a different person than the strict teacher student knew him as.

"It's alright, (Y/N). Ignore all the stupid and dumb things written on those walls, okay?" He said, putting a hand on her shoulder and giving her a sincere and understanding look "And no matter what your students say and do, you're still the top student in my class."

"I just..." She said, looking away shyly, "I wish things... could be a bit different..."

He raised an eyebrow, slightly confused by what she meant by that. "What do you mean? What things could be a bit different?" He inquired, placing a hand on her chin and turning her head to face him once more.

"Y-You and I..." She shyly answered. He knew what she meant, her crush was discovered by Kaigaku. He saw the spray painting on the wall.

He was surprised at how she felt about him. He was still processing the fact that Lilli was his self-proclaimed favorite student, and yet she had a crush on him. “So... you have a crush on me?" *Sanemi asked quietly, her nodding in response.

His face slightly turned pink, and he had to prevent himself from leaning back on his desk. He also had to refrain from wrapping his arms around her, and pulling her into an embrace.

"It's... not everyday that my student has a crush on me." He spoke, trying to keep his composure. "Not to mention my favorite one..."

It was true, most students were afraid of him or hated him. "I just... I don't know how it happened..."

"Well, I guess we're both surprised by this... But, that doesn't change the fact that I'm still a teacher..." He pulled his hand from her chin, but kept his eyes on her and leaned a bit close to her in a way that she had to look at him. "But... it also doesn't change the fact that I like you too... a lot… But still," He answered after a few moments of staring into her eyes. He knew as well as she did how taboo their relationship would be.

"I-I know but..." *She said, having a bit of a pleading look in her eyes as he leaned back a bit away from her and sighed.

"No buts. I'm a teacher, and you're my student. It would be inappropriate for us to date and be in a relationship while we're still at school." He said as a matter-of-fact tone, crossing his arms and trying to look even a bit stern.

"Maybe though.." She said with a pleading look, "Just... one kiss?"

The math teacher gulped, feeling a bit flustered at hearing her ask to kiss him. On one hand, kissing her was a bad idea, because they were still in school and she was a student.

"Just one?" He inquired, his stern expression slowly starting to fade.

"Yes, I won't ask for another one, I promise." She said, maybe just having a short, little fix of him could help her feel better. Maybe it'd fulfill whatever daydreams she had of him as well.

"Fine, but just one, alright?" Sanemi said as he started to feel a bit bashful about the entire situation, and yet it didn't stop him from leaning in and putting a hand on the side of (Y/N)'s cheek as he closed his eyes and puckered his lips. He seemed almost excited that he was finally going to kiss his favorite student, and even more since he'd never actually kissed someone in a long time.

She closed her eyes, puckering her lips and meeting him halfway. It truly felt like a magical moment. Something they could share together behind closed doors.

The math teacher let out a content, and almost relieved sigh as he moved his lips against hers. He gently pulled her in, his other hand wrapping around her waist as he kissed her in a deep and passionate kiss that felt like fireworks. It was more than just a little kiss. It was a kiss that had Sanemi second guessing himself.

Sanemi Shinazugawa was almost shocked that he started second guessing himself. Why did it feel so good? What about it made him want more and not just leave it at a kiss?

He kept holding (Y/N) close to himself as he kissed her a bit deeper, gently pulling her tongue into his mouth to deepen the kiss a bit more. (Y/N) opened her mouth, allowing his tongue to enter. She let out a small sound as their tongues entwined with each other.

The math teacher couldn't help but let out a low groan of pleasure and contentment as he felt (Y/N)'s tongue in his mouth. He slowly and gently lifted her up and sat her on the desk, holding her back with one hand and using the other to keep cupping her cheek. She let out a surprised sound. She looked up at him, panting as they pulled apart.

He panted quietly in surprise and shock after they pulled apart. He took a moment to examine (Y/N)’s face, making sure to not miss a single detail. He looked down at her from where she sat on the desk, and the first thing he noticed was the lustful and needy look in her eyes.

He'd never expected her to have such a look. Her skirt had hiked up from how he had placed her on the table in the heat of the moment. The math teacher gulped, watching as her skirt started to ride up, revealing her knees, and even more. “(Y-Y/N)..." *He said in an almost shocked, but lustful tone.

"Mr. Shinazugawa," She breathed out, the love and passion for her teacher visible in her eyes. He couldn't believe what was happening, he finally felt a sense of being loved and accepted and desired, something that was new for him. He gently pushed the chair he was sitting in away from the desk as he moved closer to Lilli, the look in his eyes still one that was burning with lust and longing.

"Wh-What are we doing?" She asked, wanting to know what his next intentions were. She was a smart girl, she knew what his plan was.

"I don't know... We really shouldn't be doing this, but... I think I'll be making an exception this time..." The math teacher answered, leaning into (Y/N) and gently pressing soft, needy kisses onto her neck.

He moaned lowly against one of (Y/N)'s more sensitive spots on her neck, sending shivers down her spine and causing her to feel a spark of pleasure. He started to kiss and suck on that same spot, his warm and soft touch feeling comforting as he continued to mark her neck.

"Y-You can't leave marks," She whimpered, "someone will see it..."

He was hesitant, but he let out a little sigh and pulled away from her neck. "You're right... But that doesn't mean I won't mark up other parts of you." He placed another kiss on her neck before pulling back.

He gently brushed his fingers along her thigh, gently stroking her soft and heated skin. The math teacher got a sudden mischievous look in his eyes as a mischievous idea crossed his mind.

He slowly and gently caressed one of her thighs, rubbing small circles on it with his thumb. "You know... I never realized how soft your skin is." He whispered, his other hand gently tracing some of the other parts of her body. He slowly let his hands wander to the buttons of her blouse.

He quietly unbuttoned her shirt, letting out a small gulp himself. He still couldn't believe that this was happening, and he almost felt a sense of disbelief as the heat in the room slowly rose.

"You're sure you're okay with doing this?" He asked her as he gently helped pull her shirt over her shoulders.

"Are you okay with it?" She asked, her lavender colored bra finally exposed. She knew what he said earlier, and she’d hate for him to get in trouble if someone caught or heard the two of them.

The math teacher gulped and tried his best not to stare too hard but couldn't help but stare at her breasts. "I really am," He said, gently tracing her skin with the tips of his fingers, watching goosebumps rise up. He didn’t care about what he had said earlier.

“I’m glad you have this free period,” (Y/N) confessed as she shivered at his touch, “It can be just the two of us.”

"Although, what?" The math teacher asked, looking up from her chest and into her eyes.

“I… I’m still a virgin and… I don’t know how ready I’m feeling to go all the way.” She said, “It’s complicated, I want you to feel good too but…”

He was surprised by this confession, but didn't seem disappointed or upset.  "Don’t worry, I understand, and it’s okay... Why don't we work on making sure that you feel good for right now?"

He gently caressed her inner thigh and hummed in contentment. "Does that feel good?" He inquired as she nodded, his own pants becoming a bit uncomfortable as the heat in the room continued to rise. He could tell just by the look in her eyes that she wanted him, but he wanted to hear it.

He hummed and gently ran his fingers along the elastic band of her underwear, caressing her skin. "Just how needy are you?" He asked as his fingers teased her.

“A lot… b-but only for you.” She begged as he slipped off her panties.

His heart was racing and he felt himself getting more excited as he took off her underwear. He never thought he’d be in such a situation with anyone, much less his favorite student.

"Well I'm honored..." He mumbled as he gently traced his fingers along her most intimate area.

He hummed lowly as he felt her heat and wetness, the feel of her insides on his fingers felt exciting and new to him. “That didn't take much to get you so excited, (Y/N)."

He felt her tighten around his fingered, warm velvety walls full of her neediness, “M-Mr. Shinazugawa~” The look on her face showed out much it was affecting her, it was like she was drunk just from the feelings of his fingers. Was she this sensitive of a virgin?

He was a bit shocked by how sensitive and needy she already was. "You're already so tight and needy, (Y/N)," He whispered.

“A-Ah~!” (Y/N) moaned, tensing up a bit at the sensation, “P-Please…” She whined,

He kept teasing her sensitive bud, gently rubbing in small, slow circles. "Please, what?" He murmured in a teasing tone, wanting to hear her whine and beg more.

“Please, I want more,” She whined, wanting him to go faster. She could feel herself growing wetter as his fingers were able to move more easily.

"How much more? Do you think you deserve it from me?" *He inquired, continuing to tease her with his slow circles. He was getting a bit more excited himself, and felt a bit more comfortable about the whole situation now as he continued rubbing her sensitive bud. 

“A-Ah, oh no~” She said, closing her eyes tightly as she felt the coil in her gut wind tighter, knowing she was getting close. But she didn’t want to release yet, she wanted to keep going. She didn’t want this to stop, but she couldn’t already feel part of herself leaking out. “P-Please, I’m your best student.”

"Maybe you are my favorite student, you're so needy and sensitive already... I can feel you already leaking onto my fingers-" He said, moving his fingers faster and curling them ever so slightly.

“I’m gonna make a mess on the desk~” She moaned, trying to keep herself together.

He couldn't help but let out a seductive and sadistic chuckle as he listened to her needy moans. "You're going to make a mess, huh? Sounds like you need to be punished a bit..." He said as he began to move his fingers faster. 

“B-But I- Ah~!” (Y/n) cried out, her eyes shut tightly as she felt her body tense. The coil finally snapped and she could feel herself release in a gush on his fingers. Her legs twitched as he continued to play with her, overstimulation taking hold.

He grinned lowly, watching her release herself in a gush on his fingers. "That's the first punishment, my favorite student." He smirked as he continued to rub her sensitive bud, wanting to overstimulate her and make her feel more sensations. The math teacher enjoyed seeing her overstimulated, seeing her needy and sensitive reactions.

“Ah~ Mmm~” She said, having mixed feelings on the overstimulation. It was painful, but so good at the same time. She wriggled and bucked her hips into his hands as she craved more of the sweet, torturous, pleasurable feeling.

“Now, be nice and a good girl or your punishment will continue…” His other hand that had been holding her leg in place came and gently gripped onto her hip, not wanting her wriggling while overstimulated. He whispered as he slowed his rubbing, wanting to give her a little break while she overstimulated.*

“I-It feels soooo good~” She said, absolutely drunk of pleasure. So much for a punishment.

“You like being punished? Maybe I’m not being harsh enough…” He teased as he began to rub his fingers harder and faster once again, keeping his grip tightly on her hip.

“A-Ahh~!” She cried out, ��Mr. Shinazugawa~ More! I promise I’ll be a good student~ I always have been~”

"Oh? Always have been a good student?" He murmured. He said as he stopped to gently pull away his hand, pulling it out of her skirt. He couldn’t help but smirk as he listened to her beg and whine for more. “I guess you deserve a reward then…”

(Y/N) cried out once more as she came for a second time, making yet another mess on Sanemi’s desk. Finally, he pulled his fingers out before licking them clean. (Y/N) seemed to be in too much of a daze as she tried catching her breath.

“I think that’s enough for today,” Sanemi said, figuring she was far too tired to continue any further. But he planned to come back to this later on, and you knew it too.

[howlingday]

Pop Off

Jaune: (Walks in) Oh! Hey, guys! What's up?

Yang/Pyrrha/Oscar: (Standing around)

Ozpin: Have a seat, Mr. Arc.

Jaune: Uh, sure... What's going on? Did I go rogue again?! I'm so sorry! I promise not to do again! Don't throw the book at me! I was young and needed the money and-

Yang: Alright, this is already off to a bad start.

Jaune: Huh? Oh, did I insult someone's favorite kid's show again?

Oscar: No, this isn't another Goof Troop situation.

Pyrrha: It's more serious than that.

Oscar: Slightly more serious.

Jaune: Um... Okay? So, what is this?

Yang: THIS is an intervention! Your dad jokes are out of control, Jaune! You have a problem!

Jaune: Dad jokes?

Yang: You know, like, "Can a kangaroo jump higher than a house?"

Jaune: Ha! Of course not! Because houses-

Yang/Pyrrha/Oscar: CAN'T JUMP.

Jaune: Y-Yeah... Alright, point taken. I'll, uh... just get some new material.

Yang: OR you could just stop! They're super lame!

Jaune: Yeah, but like, lame in a funny way?

Oscar: Eh... Not really...

Ozpin: I have to say, they're lame even by lame dad standards.

Pyrrha: I don't really see how they're funny.

Oscar: I think it's supposed to be ironic. Like, they're so not funny that they're actually funny.

Pyrrha: I don't think that's how it works.

Yang: Yeah, not to mention they're so ANNOYING when they're coming from you! I know when my dad came around and started spouting off dad jokes, it was cool or whatever, but he's not here and there's no need for another dad joke teller! We're doing this for your own good. Please, just stop...

Jaune: Wow, I... I had no idea you guys felt this way. But, if I can ask, what makes you guys the arbiters of comedy? Like, when does a joke become a dad joke anyways?

Pyrrha: Hm... I never considered that.

Oscar: Oh, actually, I do have an idea-

Yang: WAIT!

Jaune: (Grins) When it becomes...

Yang: STOP HIM!

Jaune: APPARENT! (Drops smokebomb, Runs)

Ozpin: GRAB HIM!

Pyrrha: (Catches Jaune, Holds him) Jaune! You need to stop! You're addicted to dad jokes!

Jaune: I used to be addicted to the hokey-pokey, too! But then I (Judo flips Pyrrha) TURNED MYSELF AROUND! (Runs)

Pyrrha: (Gets up) What does that even mean?

Oscar: That was pretty clever, but the punchline kind of falls flat. See, he didn't actually turn HIMSELF around and-

Yang: HE'S GETTING AWAY! (Chases)

Ozpin: (Enters warehouse) Ready yourselves, everyone... There's no telling what he has planned.

Jaune: (Echoing through the warehouse) YOU GUYS WANNA HEAR A JOKE ABOUT CONSTRUCTION?

Yang/Pyrrha/Oscar: NO!

Jaune: THAT'S FINE. I'M STILL... WORKING ON IT~!

Yang: Oh, that son of a...!

Oscar: I didn't think it could get this bad! How did this even happen?

Jaune: YOU COULD CALL IT A CHICKEN AND EGG SITUATION...

Pyrrha: As in... which came first?

Jaune: I'LL LET YOU KNOW; I JUST ORDERED BOTH FOR DINNER~!

Yang/Pyrrha/Oscar: (Groan)

Ozpin: YOU SUCK!

Oscar: We need to stop him! If we don't, then the dad jokes will spread to the rest of us! It's the most widely believed fact in history!

Ozpin: We can't let that happen...

Pyrrha: Should I use lethal force?

Oscar: Only if you have to-

Ozpin: Yes. Absolutely.

Yang: Hang on. What if... What if we lure him out by fighting fire with fire? Kill the dad joke by ruining the punchline. Follow my lead.

Yang: What do you call cheese you don't own?

Yang: NOT! YOUR! CHEESE!

Jaune: UUUGH...

Pyrrha: Oh, uh, I had a pencil with two erasers! It... didn't write very good.

Jaune: (Drops down) It was pointless! POINTLESS! COME ON!

Ozpin: GRAB HIM!

Jaune: (Tackled by Oscar and Yang) Rgh! Did- Did you know I could cut down a tree with only my vision? It's true! I SAW IT WITH MY OWN EYES! I tried to catch the fog, BUT I MIST! I used to hate facial hair, BUT THEN IT GREW ON ME!

Oscar: Don't listen to him! It'll spread!

Jaune: Can one bird make a pun? No, BUT TOUCAN~! HAHAHAHAHA~! (Dragged away by Oscar)

Pyrrha: ...

Yang: This... This is for the best, Pyrrha. (Pats, Walks away)

Pyrrha: ...

Pyrrha: Heh... Toucan~.

[madelee]

Short lil' fanfic my dears

An impression of a shifting dynamic.

They learn as they become closer… Zim is at least.

His current state made it hard to heed Zim’s uncharacteristic plea— a plea born from newfound... empathy.

The Setup. All ready. Gripped tightly waiting for use.

Zim’s expression hardened, a rare seriousness taking over his usually overblown demeanor. 

“You can’t harm it, Dib.”

“YOU were the one that annoyed ZIM with your annoying— 'no harming others just because they bother us' –ANNOYINGNESSES!”. His voice was laden with the weight of never ending didacticism, of pesky moral codes THE DIB had been trying to drill into his head. 

“YOU said that we have to respect others 'Integrity', even if they’re… inconvenient.” Zim used that voice he knew Dib hated for mimicking him.

“—I’m NOT sounding like that… I —”

Dib’s face twisted with frustration, carelessness flaring up. “THIS IS DIFFERENT, ZIM!” 

“You can't understand this!” Belittlement. He promised to stop with that. “Understanding this creature could lead to... incredible discoveries!”  –Dad

Zim stepped closer. Eyes narrowing. His voice cold. intense. 

“Zim does understand.” Take me seriously

“You are the one that CORRUPTED Zim… with your pesky and RIDICULOUS human-morals.   Zim knows, if they apply to those dirty children, they apply to this…crypthingy too!” 

Overblown, clearly displeased with those newfound considerations 

Dib’s frustration grew, his words cutting deeper and deeper with each refusal to yield. 

Certainly going too far. Zim didn't understand...!

Zim, despite his own little history, stood firm, clutching at new principles like fragile lifelines. 

Now of all times?!

And then. Unexpectedly. 

in a moment both pivotal and precarious.  Zim uttered the words that shifted the WORLD between them.

“IF YOU MUST STUDY SOMETHING!  ZIM, would let you… study himself.” mumbled almost timidly. he DID understand 

Dib’s eyes widened.

breath catching as the implications sank in.

A loud clink sounding in the silence

Tool falling to the ground, forgotten. Unimportant. His hands lose. Shaking.

The air thick. 

Dibs gaze shifting. Something long and distant.   His eyes unfocused, but present. 

Always present. 

On Zim.

Zim was always so relentlessly defensiv about any investigations. Any exploration. Denying Dib again, and again.  

This was finally happening. Zim let him.  

Then suddenly— zeroing in.  

A predator to its prey.  Mad gleam, sharp edges.   The corners of his mouth tense with an overwhelming smirk. glee

Forgetting himself. again  His facade cracking... spilling free.     Tendrils grasping on his edges. Intensely. again  Dark eyes never wavering.  Big and black. Warm browns. gone 

Taking it all in. into... the black pits. Manic. Bordering on madness. Nothing new  

Getting kinda old Dib~ 

Ever true to himself.  Cruel in its intensity.  Staring Zim down. down. down... 

taking them both into the abyss 

"Yes" he whispered.   Followed by some incoherent mumbling. 

Ever true to his character.   

"You would let me."  A fact. Simply stated. Finally  Gaze never wavering.

Unyielding.

"We’re getting ready. Now."

.

.

.

.

 They settled on 'ZIMS arm only'. 

Zim wouldn't go down without a fight. a compromise still  

Dib didn’t really care.

"I'm gonna bind your arm" 

A pause. Awkward.

"So uhm, you can't pull away” He's wavering again. Shrill on the edges.  Voice breaking cracking... embarrassingly.   But there was no time for being hindered by such trivial things.   Embarrassment, being too much, it being too much. And never enough...   it all blurred together anyway.  

A scalpel glinted under the harsh lights. Dib’s hands steadied, driven by purpose. The first incision was slow, deliberate. 

Alien skin parting with a sickening ease. Child's play  Pink, unnatural hues.  Inhuman and oh so beautiful. 

Just like me 

Zim winced, but remained still, pride and pain mingling.  Afraid. 

Don't let it show 

Face stoic.  Cheeks discolored, giving it away, still. 

Just as excited. Just as overwhelmed.   

Praise tripping on Dibs tongue, "you're doing so good "  He was mumbling again.  

ever true to his character   Voice soft. unsettling.  These words were a lifeline, a twisted form of praise that Zim always soaked up, desperate for any form of validation.

From Dib    Dib.

Blood glistened, pooling around the wound. Dib’s eyes gleamed with an unsettling mix of curiosity and something darker still.  

His hands moved with precision. Cold and efficient. He felt so hot 

Something perverse 

Obscene and only for them 

Opening up, like the void.  

Pink and bleeding. Spilling. Quelling and overflowing. 

Oh the Sweet release 

[whatyourusherthinks]

Deadpool & Wolverine Review

Is there a reason I should review this movie? Everyone already saw it and formed their opinion on it. Maybe I should just skip this one...

Don't even think about it thunder thighs! You think you can give this movie the same treatment as Babes? ...Who the fuck are you? Where's Buggnutz? I gave him the week off, I'm just making sure the BEST MOVIE OF THE YEAR gets the proper respect it deserves. Now hold on a sec- Just tell us your history with the franchise Betsy.

Uh... Well I saw Logan Good and only the first Deadpool Unacceptable, should've watched every movie the character has been in before watching this one. Even X-Men Origins: Wolverine? YES! But I don't want to! I know what happens in that movie and Deadpool 2, and I didn't have any trouble understanding the movie! Yeah but if you watched those the trailer would've made you moist, wouldn't've? I doubt it. I like Logan a lot and Deadpool was great when it came out, y'know, when I was sixteen. But I haven't seen either in like 7 years and have no desire to revisit any X-Men movie. I'm just more of an Avenger comic reader, y'know? Fucking liar, you've only got DC comics on your shelf. We fucking caught ya bitch I bet you don't even like the MCU. Hey thanks for that segway!

This is gonna be the first and only chance I get to talk about the MCU this year, unless Venom forgets to take it's medication again, but I like the MCU a lot. More than most reviewers seems to, anyway. I have some differing opinions that some of the other fans too (The first Avengers movie is the best one, eat my entire asshole.) but I liked most of the movies in Phase 4 or 5 or whatever well enough. Hell, I'm one of the like sixteen people who watched The Marvels, and that movie was a lot of fun. If you are tired of the MCU, that's fine. I feel like you can stop talking about it if you want to. Amen and praise Stan Lee, now get to the sticking your dick in the movie! In a good way or a bad way? Up to you *audible wink*.

What's The Movie About?

CAMEOS. CAMEOS CAMEOS CAMEOS. WHAT PLOT IT'S JUST FUCKING CAMEOS. It's more than just cameos dicksquirt. Yeah barely. It's something about Deadpool's timeline being erased and he needs Wolverine for some reason to fix it. And Wolverine's sad because he let his X-Men die. But it's also a Deadpool movie so you don't fucking care. They're lying watch the movie eight times to catch the subtle storytelling they clearly missed. DON'T DO THAT.

What I Like.

The music is good. Hoo boy are we off to a screaming start. Chill. I was just saying that I like that the Deadpool movies use unconventional songs for action scenes, and the Madonna song they use over the final battle was cool. I really liked the cameos that made up the resistance team against the villain. Spoilers artfully dodged, wonderful dismount! And they were pretty much the only cameos I liked. Never mind, tripped at the goal line. The action is also really good. As befits the character, it is brutal and hilarious, but I wasn't expecting the how well they showcase some characters' powers. Weeooo Weeoo backhanded compliment alert! Highlight for me was the fight scene over the opening credits. I really liked the fight and how creatively sacrilegious it was. Plus, some of the humor made me laugh. The send off the Fox Studios over the credits was sweet, and I can see fans of pre-MCU Marvel movies not only getting a kick out of the movie, but really appreciating the fact this movie exists. So that's very nice. Beautifully prosed. Now, everyone stop reading here mmmkay? Just rest easy that some unknown and sexually frustrated fumble-cunt agrees with your pretty little opinion. You don't need to see the rest. Stop driving away my readers! I ain't got much of them to begin with.

What I Didn't Like.

Almost everything good this movie does has some parts that were dumb or annoying. Like half the comedy is obnoxious. God, tell me something new! Kinda like your interruptions, fuckhead! The character of Deadpool is as faithful as ever, which means he can be super fucking annoying. At least the other characters think so too, but it doesn't help that Wolverine saying fuck every other word was getting on my nerves. Pot calling the kettle blaaaaaaack. Well it sounds weird! Also, not only am I trying to cut back on my swearing a bit, but also I change it up every once in a while. Shitheel. Hehehe sweet talker. Now tell me the villain's lame even though you've never read about this character and don't know how faithful she is to the source material. Um, yeah, that's true. But even if she is faithful it doesn't change that she's bland. You thought the finger-mindreading effect was cool, admit it! Uh, yeah also true. But it makes no sense! Who are you, the fucking mind police, fingerbanging edition? Who cares what if it makes sense? It extends to the whole plot though! The time travel stuff (Spoilers) IT'S IN THE TRAILER! Is not cohesive with the MCU explanation as a whole. It would help if the plot wasn't clearly an afterthought, but clearly I'm the only viewer who fucking cares. What? The movie can't make up it's own thing? Not if it's gonna pillage the MCU crumbs for cheap fanservice and jokes! AND SPEAKING OF CHEAP JOKES, why is it funny that Deadpool is gay? Because getting fucked in the ass is funny. Why?! Seriously, sit down and tell me why is Deadpool being gay or bisexual or whatever funny. I'm not saying LGBTQIA+ people are above being made fun of, Soundslikethat'swhatyou'redoing but I just don't get it. And not only is this a well that the movie comes to time and time again, but it's all over the marketing! At least it's better gay man representation than Mean Girls. ...Fuck you. Gladly. Can you at least admit that this movie is too long. What?! Are you on all the cocaine Feige confiscated from the cast/prop department? No, but during for the entire final act I was waiting for the movie to wrap up! And my god! Can a Marvel movie have stakes again? MCU movies have never been great for having plots with lasting consequences, but at least they were good at faking it. THERE WERE TWO MOVIES BETWEEN INFINITY WAR AND END GAME. Wait wait wait, you wanted the movie to kill Wolverine and Deadpool? YES. This is definitely gonna be the last movie where Hugh Jackman plays Wolverine and definitely should be the last Deadpool movie, so why not? Hell, isn't the whole point of the final fight scene to tell us that there is a million versions of Deadpool in the multiverse? So you could totally kill him off and still keep Ryan Reynolds on the hook for whatever cameos you want. Christ Buggy was right, you are a sociopath! WELL MAYBE IF MOVIES STOPPED FAKING CHARACTER DEATHS I WOULDN'T COMPLAIN ABOUT IT SO MUCH. Stakes are only effective if you sometimes follow through with the threats the story gives. Bathos be damned, my balls are the shade of blueberries.

Final Summation.

The movie's fine. After all that? You're not even gonna give us the good shit you whingeing coconut? Well the movie ain't worst movie I've seen in any aspect. It's not the worst superhero, Fox, or Marvel movie I've watched, hell, not even the worst of any of those movies I've seen this year! But it's also not the best thing since self-lubricating dildos. I'm giving it a begrudging recommendation, not that it matters because if you want to see this movie even slightly you already did.

We're just gonna end of self-lubricating dildos? YEP AND YOU CAN LICK MY CINNAMON RING BITCH.

[mydonkeyfeet]

Autistic hyper-endurance of fun?

Does autism have a thing where one lacks the neurotypical degradation-of-fun mechanism? I still don't know if I'm autistic or not (most online tests say not quite) but I've read that neurotypicals have a friendship degradation mechanism, which I definitely lack, where eventually they lose interest in old friends and move on. For me, I tend to think with naive optimism that every friendship will last forever. Fortunately, many of my friends are neurodiverse and also lack that mechanism.

But I've noticed that some autistic family members and I have experienced a thing where something stays fun or funny for us long past everyone else.

At my job in my 20s, we all made a game of hiding plastic Easter eggs in unexpected places all over our workplace, with silly notes or drawings inside, and when we found one, we would hide it for the next person. Eventually, my coworkers would just give them to me to hide again because they got tired of the effort (though they still enjoyed finding them. I think.)

In a less happy experience, in high school my friends and I would write silly stories together, one sentence at a time, passing the pages back and forth throughout every class. Some stories were short and finished in one period, and some were long and lasted a whole semester, but they were all hilarious. One friend who I'll call Prune had been my friend for nearly our whole K-12 years, and we wrote many stories together. But during our final year, suddenly for some reason she started hating my existence. I could not figure out why, I still don't know, but at the time all I could think was "Maybe if we write more stories, she'll laugh and have fun and we'll get back to normal." And she seemed to hate our stories too, though she still wrote ones with our other friends. She would even pass them to a classmate and ask them not to return it to me until the end of class, making them seem like the bad guy. While I thought we could have a fun collaboration like a game of catch, I realize now that it was more like I was the stupid naive but innocent dog thinking, "Human is sad. Maybe we should play ball? Throw my ball? Will that make you happy? Throw it?" and she was the person holding the slobbery ball who is absolutely sick of playing fetch with that stupid dog. (She did still write stories with our other friends though, so I'm still clueless why she hated me. They kept writing stories with me too, and seemed to keep enjoying it.)

Anyway, I realized today that my dad, who we now suspect may have been autistic (who died last year) also exhibited some of these hyper-endurance-of-fun mechanisms with me that drove me up the wall as a child and teen. Long past it was appropriate, he was playing baby pinchy games with me that I hated, and speaking with my old baby talk that embarrassed me. And he knew I was irritated but was probably clueless why, just like I was with Prune. He thought we were sharing a fun childhood memory, and I was annoyed that he was fixated on something from my ancient history that I no longer enjoyed, and that he still saw me as a silly baby. And like Prune, I didn't have the words or the nerves to explain it to him.

Nowadays, I have to remind myself that what's fun for me may not stay fun for my friends (including remaining in a fandom or participating in our old activities) as well as reminding myself that they have a friendship degradation mechanism, and they're allowed to move on from me. I'm not actually a sad dog with a slobbery ball.

But I'm 45 and I still haven't forgiven Prune.

[anotherobsessedsomething]

for the sleepover thing (one option was to tell you about my pets and i took that as an invitation):

my cats (actually my parents’ but whatever) name is ramses (yes after the pharao, idk who named him but that person was a genius). anyways, he's more or less blind (we don't know for sure how much he can see but it isn't a lot) but he's incredibly smart and used to walk up and down the stairs by jumping on the hand railing and just walking on that just bc he could. he can also open doors and when he's hungry in the morning he will break into your room and wake you/annoy you until you give him food. he will also start biting you when you don't get up. he's the sneakiest little idiot i know and will get himself locked into the kitchen on purpose if there's food left out in the open.

that’s just the things i could think of off the top of my head haha. do you have any pets (and maybe a fun story about them)? or if not what’s a pet you would like to have if you could get one?

Omg I love everything about this! Your cat sounds awesome! And the name - just yes! Like using egyptian names for cats is like honoring their history lol :D (also I think cats would very much agree with being worshipped like the gods and goddesses they are :D)

I sadly don't have a cat or any pet (anymore). We had a family cat but he died last year and I miss him a lot. His name was Twister and I am pretty sure he truly thought he was a king :D He claimed the armchair in the living room as his spot (throne) and if you sat down there he basically looked at you like you personally offended him and my mom supported his claim and always told us to stand up because Twister wants to sit there :D (rightfully so :D) He also was very picky with food to the point where our whole family was basically living vegetarian but my mom was still buying fresh organic turkey (it had to be turkey nothing else) for him at the budger (he deserved it to be honest and I am sure he had a reason for not liking meat from the supermarket lol). He also loved cream cheese but only a certain brand if you would give him any other brand he would be offended too (and again I am sure he had a good reason for that too :D). He was also very playful sometimes for example in winter he loved when we threw snowballs for him to catch. :D And sometimes he even went on walks with us. I really miss him he always made my day a little brighter.

Anyway thank you for telling me about your pet it was really sweet and I certainly lack cat content since we don't have a cat anymore. :D

It's a sleepover ask or tell me anything

[llycaons]

ep37: a-qing just can't catch a break

the way his face just lights up when he has the opportunity to do something helpful...I mean I kind of get it but also. kid. get a hobby besides being a teacher's pet PLEASE

ohh neat. wwx talked a lot in the book about commoner's solutions to problems without cultivator involvement. it would have been nice to see a more pointed critique of the highly specialized and often impractical and elitist education the rich sect kids get

I love this shot. so mysterious and eerie! and he is so handsome <3

it makes me so mad that wwx is joking about a-qing's looks, not so much because I care about him being a dick and scaring the kids on purpose, but because it's a shitty and narrow-minded way to view a young person who is clearly suffering some kind of horrible...death? every single junior includes some comment on her beauty or looks and it's so annoying. she's more than that! she deserves more!

wwx scolding jl for emulating jc and sounding like a brat (or maybe more accurately to wwx's complaints, a little bitch) is weirdly satisfying to me. no he thinks the way jc raised jl sucks, actually, and he's trying to fix jl's attitude. here jl goes along with wwx's prank and then yells at him afterwards, even though he himself played along. a bit different from the jc situation sin he's a child, but I imagine wwx got irritated when he was younger a lot when jc would go along with his schemes and them turn around and complain about him as if he didn't particupate

STOP WEARING HIS FACE! YOU SICK FUCK. it's so bizarre to see xxc in black that I didn't even recognize him this time around. with the eyes hidden, it's a bit harder to tell

when I was reading swbts this weekend, she mentions that nobody actually follows all the precepts, because it's impractical and absurd. but there were some really obvious ones like 'don't murder' and it's nice to see that the lan precepts include some good things in there besides the well-criticized 'don't laugh without a cause' and such. also, lwj is the only person following every single one anyway and that doesn't have anything to do with whether he's a good person or whether he thinks wwx is a good person, either. they're really not connected and his character development is realizing that

aww, they're all offering their blood up. this little scene where wwx asked if anyone has blank talismans and commenting on their cultivation level was also explained further in the books - strong cultivators can write their own, but still-learning kids need to bring talismans that have already been written

wwx's face here is so sad. he admired sl and xxc so much and wanted to emulate them, and to see them come to an end like this...must be devastating. as if he hadn't already lost so much

ALSO the idea that would-be lovers turned on each other and tried to kill each other. I imagine that would be very difficult for wwx given his own history with lwj

spooky!

ssc's actor did so well. that smile is all xy

WEI WUXIAN CALLING XY A DRAMA QUEEN

help why did he say it like that

oh damn that's jgy

xy interacting with wwx is so funny to me honestly. like a huge fanboy. his greatest psychosexual obsession is with xxc but he definitely has a thing for wwx too I know he wants to be topped or something

classic line. we love not dehumanizing our autistic undead friend 👍

STOP CARESSING HIS SWORD YOU CREEPY FUCK

oh and this is also funny. wwx like 'are you bullying me since I'm still recovering?' (implying he IS recovering and could still rebuild a core 👀 and xy being like 'yep! as you recall I am a delinquent and I am acting like it!' and wwx being like 'no fair. MAN'

omg and as soon as lwj appears and xy is like 'hehe we meet again' and lwj just refuses to answer, summons xxc's sword, and delivers THIS devastating line. love it. no bullshit. no tolerance

I feel like xy recognizes lwj as objectively handsome but he's not really into him

his two-bladed sword is so sick too bad he's evil

I don't really think about villains in terms of whether they're 'redeemable' or not and I don't like to think of people as ontologically evil but man I don't think xy was ever going to be anything besides what he was. it did suck that he was mutilated as a child, and it must have been difficult growing up on the streets, but the glee with which he talks about mass murder makes me think he would have kind of taken any excuse to go wild and murder a ton of people. 'oh he just needed love and understand' well he got it! and he used it to trick the person who loved him into murdering more people and then he tortured and murdered their teenage ward/friend. I can appreciate a reading where he's more harmless and just funny in his destructiveness, but I will never be able to swallow AUs where he's genuinely a good person. loving murder is just too much a part of him!

there's also a line where the juniors make wwx say that lwj is good at stuff and he seems very taken aback to be asked, which is weird bc aren't they at least traveling companions? maybe he was confused at being asked to give an account with authority since he knows the kids still think he's a random jin exile who's known lwj for like. a few weeks max. man I don't like that moment, it seems really forced and awkward even if wwx is still in his 'I don't quite understand why lwj is doing this or how long it'll last' era. which also seems weird given them moments they've already shared and the comfort wwx has in stating with lwj? man, maybe it's easier if he doesn't have to think about it or explain it to other people. I GUESS

god this sucks....that's his last connection to his mama

A QING!!!!!!!!

wwx comforting her is so. he's been such a dick to the kids this episode so it's nice to remember what a kind person he is when it really counts. and a-qing hasn't felt human touch in a very long time

and when he says he'll do empathy, it's jl who objects! one of those 'aw, he really does care' moments

personal highlights:

while this wasn't as horribly dull and poorly done as the last third-party character focused plot (I seriously spent a lot of 34 thinking 'oh god, cql is bad after all), it didn't offer a lot in terms of special moments or humor. a solid 5/10. mediocre. let's see

wwx talking about folk remedies

the kids offering their blood. because they love him

wwx calling xy a drama queen

wwx seeing sl and xxc's bodies and realizing what state they're in. that shit hurted

"you don't deserve this sword' TELL HIM HANGUANG-JUN

[fanfictionnerdfortoomanythings]

i have been waiting SO LONG TO DO THIS but i'll give my top 15 (sorry i'm late) also these are not in order.

Into The Light Once Again - season 2 art is STUNNING, love the romance + amazing family! Backstory is sad though. [8/10]]

Death Is The Only Ending For The Villainess - sad and dark, but amazing art and plot. also- as a novel reader- DON'T TRUST ANYONE. [7/10]

Who Made Me A Princess - complete, beautiful art and the plot develops really well. if you haven't heard of this you probably live under a rock. [8.5/10]

My Mother Gets Married Again - the mother regresses, but it's from the daughters pov. STUNNING art, and its new but i love it already. [8/10]

I'll Be The Matriarch In This Life - LOVELOVELOVELOVE i adore this, art is clean and pleasing to look at, family and romance is *chefs kiss* and i would die and kill for Clerivan and Larane. also legit has the best dad in manhwa history, everyone agrees. [9.5/10]

I Will Change The Genre - adore the characters and the art is so pleasing to look at! romance is well developed, and main character is so pretty!! few plot twists too. [7.5/10]

Your Majesty, Please Don't Kill Me Again - TRUST NO ONE EVERYONE IS HORRID but love it to death, art is WAY too cute for the story. amazing plot, slowest burn ever. [9/10]

Second Life Of A Trash Princess - ART IS SO PLEASING and love the story so much! i simp so hard for female lead and although male lead is dumb af, love him. also the story is really good! [9/10]

A Stepmothers Märchen - GOD THE ART IS SO PLEASING we stan art improvement. story WILL get dark later on, but romance is well developed. also i feel HORRIBLE for female lead. [8/10]

The Reason Why Raeliana Ended Up At The Duke's Mansion - completed, and a classic. getting an anime adaption this year (!!!!!) but i will hold the comic dear to my heart. decent art, AMAZING story and really lovable characters! [8.5/10]

Inso's Law - most meta isekai i've ever read, but love it! be ready for the love pentagon, but honestly i love all the characters. wish it was a gl, cause yeoryeong deserves female lead the most. [7/10]

Trash Of The Count's Family - a man isekais for once! read the novel before the manhwa, so be ready for a LONG, INSANE ride. love everyone, simp SO HARD for cale, and the art is amazing. [7.5/10]

The Villainess Is A Marionette - GODLY ART, best art i've ever seen in a manhwa, and while it takes around 50 chapters, the plot is REALLY picking up right now! still, the entire story is great - the obsessive younger brother, though he's hot af. [8/10]

How To Get My Husband On My Side - the art is really pleasing, but can also disturb you. it has some REALLY triggering topics like @buse and anor3xia, as well as a DISGUSTING family with a HORRIBLE brother who is GROSS AND I HATE HIM. but male lead is AMAZING, you might hate him at the start but he's BRILLIANT and i simp for him and ruby SO MUCH. also annoying villainess, but the REAL villain is that BROTHER- anyways i ADORE THIS, so PLEASE READ IT IF YOU HAVEN'T! season 2 is yet to release, so it's a great time to catch up! [9.5/10]

Secret Lady - BRILLIANT art, and the story is so well developed! fan translations are horrible, but i still love the story and honestly, just looking at the panels explains the whole story. [8/10]

That's all for now! If you need anymore i have a doc with 130+ manhwas on it- so please ask if you need them!

Sorry is this is formatted terribly, I'm not used to this-

I read most of my comics on zinmanga, but i do say that if you can afford it, PLEASE support the official translations. i personally can't, but at least follow their instagrams/twitters!

Also bonus thing-

READ OMNISCIENT READERS VIEWPOINT I *BEG*

thats all for now!

I lied, here I was saying that I only liked isekai manhwa and crimeboys but I've officially deep-dived through like 50 other fandoms, so expect my dash to completely change fandom-wise out of literally nowhere. the tags are just full of fandoms I am invested in.

[mickstart]

hi could you explain to us why michael... obeyed mikka?? lol like young michael wouldn't be afraid to annoy the other drivers but with mikka he was always reserved

fsdjgfds okay so not to psychoanalyze a celebrity but. The thing to understand about michael - and this is key to everything - is that he had an absolutely rigid, unbreakable separation in his mind between the track and his personal life. Like to Michael, as soon as he was in the car that was another person with another goal, and I think Mika was the only person who ever really understood this and changed his approach accordingly to get Michael's respect in both areas. I think there are 3 main reasons Michael was more inclined to listen to Mika.

1- Damon Hill once said that Michael simply didn't understand that other people couldn't do what he did. To him, it was the other drivers' fault that they couldn't keep up with him and weren't prepared to push the limit as far as he was. To him, what he could do was normal and the other drivers were just not trying hard enough. So he didn't respect them and treated them accordingly on track. Mika understood that you had to take the fight to Michael, and he was one of only a handful of drivers who COULD take the fight to Michael. So you get moments like Spa 2000, where Michael is driving dirty and Mika - instead of backing down and cursing him like the others - reinvents the fucking overtake, picks the PRECISE spot where he can catch Michael out, and doesn't let Zonta or ANYTHING stop him. Michael loves racing for racing's sake, it's his passion. So he's not angry that Mika just HUMILIATED HIM. He's impressed, he's grinning through the podium and press, and he respects Mika for it. So when Mika tells him "don't do that again" about the defending Michael just did to him, Michael doesn't do that again. (To him anyway.) Because he knows Mika will just put his head down and counter it. It won't work.

2- When Michael bullied other drivers on track they were - understandably, rightly - furious with him off track. They talked shit about him in the press, they argued with him and each other about it. To Michael, this didn't make sense. Racing was not reality, and them holding grudges against him for things he did in the car made him lose respect for them. It also made him less inclined to actually patch things up, so their relationships only deteroriated and he cared even less what they had to say about his driving. Mika, on the other hand, arguably hated the press even more than Michael. He said the bare minimum to them. He was there to race, not talk to a camera. So he never talked shit to the press about Michael because... why? Why bother? If he had a problem he took it straight to Michael. So off track Michael also gained respect for Mika - and vice versa I think - because they let each other live in peace as soon as the helmet came off.

3- Just. The sheer amount of history he had with Mika compared to other drivers. They went way back. Mika was arguably one of the first drivers to get a taste of Michael's outrageous defending ruining his entire day. They were friendly WAY before they were actually racing each other on a regular basis. When Mika had his horrible accident and almost died - before they were even anything approaching Iconic Rivals - Michael visited him in the hospital very quickly, and Mika returned the favour when Michael had his worst crash at Silverstone. I think Michael, for all he expected others to rigidly separate the personal life and the track, sometimes slipped up himself. Defending too hard at Monza in 2011 because he was in front of the *tifosi* comes to mind. And I think his personal history with Mika, plus the massive reminder of Mika's mortality he received during their careers because of Mika's big crash, made him marginally more careful with Mika than he was with other drivers.

But then this is all speculation and me guessing really. It could have been as simple as Mika's bluntness got through to Michael sdhsfdhgfsd.

[cheelduh]

How to get Hit-listed by a Stonehide Lawachurl (High School AU!)

Part 6 of the highschool au

Parts: 1 2 3 4 5

Pairing: Childe x fem!reader

Synopsis: Childe’s a menace to everyone when playing dodgeball. Even as his new girlfriend, you’re no exception to his affinity for raising hell during the most tranquil of circumstances.

Warnings: Swearing, bad humor, and absolutely horrid spelling mistakes.

Words: 5.3k

Note: Longest chapter yet sheeeesh 🗿

Negotiation is an art.

Childe, or "Tartaglia" has utilized the art of negotiations in his daily life. Whether that be scamming the ninth graders with fake weed, or convincing the teachers why he doesn't deserve detention for injecting random fluids from the chem department into the school's resident pet frog.

All in all, by becoming an expert in the field of negotiations, Childe is nothing if not a master, tongue silver and smooth as he takes on a new opponent.

Which is why he dutifully negotiates with you on this Monday morning in front of the History classroom, getting down on one knee and pulling out a—

"I hope to Barbatos you aren't proposing Childe," You hiss, panicked eyes landing on the velvet box he's pulling out. "Considering that we're sixteen and still in highschool."

As if remembering those meagre details, Childe gulps and shoves the box back into his pocket. "Uhhh yeah, I was just, tying my shoelaces?" It comes out as a question.

You let out a sigh of relief, overlooking how he undoes his shoe laces just to do them all over again.

The ring burns in his pocket as he gets back up.

"Why did you call me here?" You ask, hand on your hip, foot impatiently tapping. The tap tap tap isn't because of impatience though, it's because you need something to cover the nervous palpitations of your heart.

He gives you a vicious smile, sinister enough to shake the bones of anyone who's observing, opens his daring mouth to show the imaginary sharpness of his teeth. Then with the confidence of about a hundred shirtless tiktok boys, he finally demands:

"If you don't become my girlfriend, I will kill—"

"Yeah sure thing." You answer before he can finish, soft smile growing.

Childe chuckles evilly, "I knew you'd say that, but I've come prep—wait a minute." He snaps out of his villain origin phase, stumbles back a bit, then his eyebrows are furrowing in confusion. "Did you just say yes?"

You nod, cheeks flaring up. "Don't make me repeat it." Then you look away, too embarrassed to see his reaction.

For a second, Childe's internal conflict following the chain of this event causes him to temporarily malfunction, and all he can do it stare at you in amazement.

It's only when you tell him to stop staring and jump off the school roof is when he snaps out of his daze, a grin festering on his face.

He lunges straight at you, giving you no time to deflect him as he wraps his bone crushing arms around you, then lands a soft smooch on your forehead.

"Let go of me you idiot!" You barely wheeze out, light headed not only because of your lungs being squeezed like oranges, but also because of the sloppy kiss he's delivered so ungracefully.

He does so reluctantly, and you're unamused, wiping the stickiness off your forehead with a sleeve as he steps back.

"Ew what the fuck?" You say, glaring at him. "What's wrong with you?"

He completely ignores you, giddy with excitement. "Ah girly, you have no idea how long I've wanted to do that. I can't wait to introduce you to my parents and eat lunch together and kiss each other during break—"

"Slow down." You tell him, as red as a tomato towards all his suggestions. "We've barely started dating."

"Oh," Childe stops momentarily, then nods in agreement. "You're right. We should start small. How about I walk you to class?"

"We're already in front of class." You nudge your head towards the classroom, and catch Zhongli and Venti peeking from the side of the door, trying not to be obvious.

You narrow your eyes at them threateningly.

Childe tugs your arm, lovingly looking you up and down. "Let's walk to class together anyways. In a circle."

A complete waste of time, yet it's impossible to say no to the face he's making.

Before you guys depart he suddenly stops, gasping loudly, remembers something important. "I have to make a quick phone call."

Childe speed dials Scaramouche, and the latter picks up annoyed, answers the phone with muffled sounds in the back. Something that sounds a bit like pleading and whimpering.

He then mutters something that forces dread into your system. "You can release the hostages."

You hear Scaramouche groan on the other end, muttering a "such a pain in my ass", but choose not to question it immediately.

As soon as the phone call is done and you're back by his side, you point at his phone questioningly. "What hostages Childe?"

He gives you a close eyed smile, taking the fifth.

"What hostages Childe?" You repeat again weakly.

—

First period goes by smoothly for the most part. Lisa, your so called best friend, once again is bought off like a corrupted politician by your new boyfriend. She sits far away from you, leaving you without any defences against the menace that dotes on you a bit too much.

Throughout class, all Childe does is score Venti's colourful pens, and then writes you annoying little love notes, using the expert origami skills he's learnt from Anthon to deliver them to you.

Despite the threat of distraction these notes pose, the corners of your lips can't help but tug upwards at his enthusiasm and attempt at poetry.

Zhongli makes sure not to ask you two any questions the entire class, leaving you to your own accord.

Lunch comes around soon enough, and your usual table of Diluc, Jean, Kazuha, and Lisa is disturbed by the torpedo that is Childe, and he brings collateral with him.

Kaeya whole-heartedly ceases the opportunity to sit near his stoic statue of a brother purely with the intention to annoy the premature crap out of him, but one look from the redhead sends the chicken-shit right back where he came from.

When Childe forcefu—lovingly feeds you the smiley fries and dinosaur nuggets his stunning mom packed him, Diluc looks just about ready to hurl.

Lisa winks at you two, Kazuha doesn't even bother looking, and Jean tries with upmost effort to keep Diluc from launching himself at the whipped fatui boy basking in your attention.

"Quit embarrassing me." You whisper-exclaim sharply, noticing how Jean passes Diluc—all green in the face, a puke bag discreetly. "Shouldn't you be doing something illegal right now? Or vaping in the stalls?"

"I quit vaping for you girlie." Childe boops your nose with his finger. "Well, at least full time. I still need a puff when I'm around Signora, to like, get rid of her awful vibes."

While it is endearing how he quit vaping for you, it doesn't lessen the need for you to bury yourself alive right here and now.

Then you sigh, pick up a Dino nuggie, and shove it in his mouth, the tip of his tongue flicking your finger. You die inside.

"There, you happy?" The action of feeding him is so...intimate, it sets your heart aflame.

Childe's a lovesick puppy when he chews, imaginary tail wagging a hundred times a second. "Can I have a kiss too?"

Diluc slams his hands on the table and stands up, hurriedly picks up his grape juice and makes a break for it. You don't blame him.

"I'll kill you." You smack him with a napkin, blazing red. "I'll end your pathetic little life right here and now."

By the end of lunch, Lisa and Jean have to restrain you so you don't break the world record for the maximum amount of mutilations that can be done on a single body.

Fourth period is a break. A break from Childe you mean. It's expected of the school's resident bad boy aka menace to skip classes in order to skip over the bodies of his victims.

You bask in the momentary peace, until it's disrupted by a tap on the window. Reckon it's nothing, maybe a bird flew into it, because intentional taps are impossible from the third floor. Except your conviction is hindered yet again by another tap.

What a nuisance.

You finally turn to look outside the window, face down, and spot Childe waving incessantly, rocks in hand, oozing with excitement that can't be concealed and a grin that nearly takes you into cardiac arrest. Without meaning to, you send him a small smile, waving back as Baal drones on about quantum superposition.

Successful in gaining your attention, he moves aside to reveal the hefty corpse of a stonehide lawachurl with a destructive path in its wake. The ridges and bumps of its hide are enough to do a number on the road, ruining the school's playing field.

Your smile drops down into a horrified frown in the span of a few seconds.

"Wow." Albedo, your lab partner whispers from next to you, for the first time distracted in class.

"Yeah," Kaeya whistles from behind you two, one hand supporting his head. "What a gesture."

"Y/N, I'd be grateful if you could possibly obtain a black crystal horn for me from the specimen." The blonde asks, entranced by the corpse that your boyfriend is flaunting off to you with pride.

"Aren't those things endangered cutie?" Lisa makes sure to butt in, as per usual.

Yes. Your boyfriend with several issues and an affinity for chaos brought you the corpse of an endangered geo-infused creature that's five times the size of him. During school hours too, the fiend. Like a cat dragging the corpse of a dead mouse to its owner.

You groan into your hands, heart racing while the fire is coursing through your veins.

That idiot.

—

Childe is exceptional at a lot of things, like the switch and making weapons out of seemingly harmless things (e.g shiv out of a toothbrush), but what he prides in the most is physical education. With washboard abs, uber tall height, and a dickish smile to top it all, he has everything it takes to showcase his top tier athletic abilities.

He pounces at the opportunity to show off in front of you, wanting nothing more than to have you fawn over his strength. He's sure it'll be enough to have you all over him, wrapping your cute little arms around his muscled ones, passing him his water bottle and dabbing away at the sweat on his forehead. Most of all, he daydreams you planting your soft lips on his to congratulate him after a big game.

Physical education, for you, is a pain. You may be good with your brain, but games exert more energy than necessary, and coordination that lacks logic entirely. You're just here for the credit. The over-achiever part of you walks the extra mile to ensure a grade in the high nineties.

Although witnessing Childe clad in the school shorts and matching polo shirt is enough to make this worth your while, you'll die before admitting it. Especially when he gawks at you as if it's the first time you're wearing the sports uniform yourself. It has you fidgeting with your fingers and tugging your shorts down nervously.

You try not to flip him off like you usually do, especially since it's not even been twenty four hours since he's asked you out.

Mr.Zhongli blows a whistle, calling all the students over to surround him. It's odd that he teaches most of the subjects at this school, seemingly the only adult present, but no one questions it in fear of genshin logic. Moving on, he explains that you have a dodge ball game today.

Lisa groans beside you. She hates anything that requires the exertion of energy, oftentimes bringing a book to read while everyone else screams in the background.

You're relieved, mainly because Childe and Tohma are usually captains, and Childe always picks you to be on his team as a means to flex his skills. For you, it means sitting back and watching him carry your team towards a straight A.

However, all your dreams are crushed when Zhongli announces the team leaders.

"Y/N, I trust that you'll lead the blue team to the upmost of your ability. Childe, prepare to lead the opposing red team."

Your knees shake as you stare at him in disbelief. "But Sir—"

"No buts Y/N." He scolds you lightly, checking off your names on the clip board. "I'd like to witness your exceptional leadership skills."

In reality, Zhongli just wants to reenact a lovers-on-opposing sides trope, wanting to see how the two of you crack under the pressure. In a way, it is an exercise of leadership.

Instead of picking teams, Zhongli assigns teams for the both of you according to his own judgement, trying to make it as fair as possible.

Lisa pats your back after your teammates are assigned, trying to cheer you up. "It's going to be okay. You guys are dating now, so he'll go easy on you."

You look up to meet Childe's eyes from across the court. He gives you a charming smile, which turns downright barbaric as he lifts up a thumb and motions to slash his neck with it. Then he wickedly mouths "I'm going to destroy you."

You blink and turn away as fast as you can in fear. "We're fucked."

Lisa, witnessing the entire ordeal nods alongside you, doing nothing to reassure you because she herself has given up.

Suddenly a hand lands on your shoulder gripping you tightly. "Let's wipe the floor with that g*nger." The voice is ice cold, threatening enough to send a shiver down your bones.

You turn to meet Rosaria, who frowns at you. Most of the time she doesn't really put an effort in dodgeball, but she must've seen your crestfallen expression, trying to comfort you in her own detached way.

Rosaria is the other school nurse in training, alongside Barbara, but somehow her patients end up more injured, sick, or mentally defiled than before they entered the room. She also spends after hours beating up Chads in the school parking lot. Also runs a blog with her booby co-author Kaeya that emphasizes mostly on the dark knight hero.

Spotting the rest of your team behind her, you begin to criticize them one by one.

Standing against the wall is Kaeya, pushing both his biddies up with his crossed arms like an absolute whore. He's breaking about several dress code rules right now. Venti is next to him, drunk off his butt as he beat boxes with Tohma.

Eula mutters under her breath, on and on about seeking revenge on Zhongli for putting her beloved Amber on the opposing team, promising him an unfortunate fate. Xiao is miserably squatting on the floor, sharp eyes observing everyone in the gym, scowl not ready to dissipate anytime soon.

Then you look over at Childe's team in the distance. Jean with a determined look on her face as she listens to Childe's game plan, and Diluc crossing his arms with his brows furrowed in concentration. Even Amber, the best baller in the school, is stretching out her arms, assisted by the gifted princess of the school, Ayaka.

Not only that, but Childe has the king of dodging on his team—Kaedehara goddamn Kazuha. Beidou shoots you a wicked smirk, winking at you until she's disrupted by Ningguang's shove.

"Oh my god." You cry out when the realization hits you, falling to your knees in despair. "We're completely fucked!"

"No we aren't." Rosaria mutters lowly. "You're only fucked if you want to be. Don't you dare throw in the towel before the fight has even begun."

"But I—"

"Stop it." She grumbles again, rolling her eyes. "You're being annoying now. If you lose the game, that makes him the dom. Don't you want to be the dom?"

She's right. You do want to be the dom.

Her words of encouragement, and not at all veiled insults somehow allow you to find motivation deep within yourself. You get up and stomp towards the rest of your team, calling their attention with your newfound confidence.

"Listen here soldiers!" You shout out, determination clear as day. "I know I am not capable of leading. I know that I barely have the physical capabilities needed to defeat the opposite team."

You take a deep breath, pointing at your cutie patootie boyfriend across the gym as you seethe. "But that man, that harbinger of chaos, that instrument of war, is nothing but a tyrant. And I cannot let such a tyrant be a victor in this battle. Not when innocent lives are at stake."

Tohma speaks up, sending you a bewildered look. "What lives—"

"Shut the fuck up soldier!"

"Yessir!" He immediately stiffens, saluting you.

"Are you ready soldiers?" Your voice booms, and everyone reinforces their priorities, except for Kaeya though. He just lazily smirks.

After Zhongli places the balls in the middle, everyone prepares for the battle of the century.

'Gods, please let us win this war' you pray to the archons above, closing your eyes in concentration.

'Give me the strength to flex my superior skills' Childe wishes, then adds on quickly 'also I want to dominate this world.'

'Give me the strength to make it to Friday.' Rosaria prays for nobody but herself, rolls her eyes at all the unnecessary dramatics of this dodgeball game.

"3..." "2..." "1..."

Zhongli ends the countdown by blowing hard into a whistle, signaling the beginning of the game.

Not even two seconds later a ball whooshes past a few of you at the speed of light, followed by a tail of fire. The ball of death kisses Kaeya square in the nose, sending him reeling back into a wall with enough sheer force to cause an indent.

Everyone winces.

Before you all can reel in from the initial shock and make sense out of wherever the hell that asteroid came from, Zhongli's voice booms throughout the gymnasium.

"Mr. Ragnvindr, headshots are strictly forbidden. You are out!"

With a scoff, Diluc, satisfied with his work, leaves the court with no apparent qualms. He accepts his defeat with the upturned corners of his lips.

Rosaria pokes Kaeya's body with the tip of her heels, then cringes when he shakes awake, up from his short lived knockout and sends a wink her way.

"Getting handsy when I'm unconscious? I didn't think you'd be one to partake in such vulgar activities." His eye twinkles in mischief, and if his momentary defeat at the hands of brother has him fuming, he doesn't show it one bit.

The only thing that keeps Rosaria from knocking him out for real is the blood that trails down onto his lip. She doesn't want to clean blood off her shoes, especially since it's a pain in the ass to get off.

You're about to tell them to get up and take this seriously, but a softball does your job for you when it darts straight at Rosaria. With pristine accuracy, the girl manages to pitch herself away last minute.

You swivel in Childe's direction, who wears a remorseless grin, which only grows wider once you pick up a blue softball next to your feet.

The glare that he receives has him shaking in exhilaration. More so than the elation he'd felt when he took down that Stonehide Lawachurl for you, as a gift of promise.

You begin to bark out orders. "Eula, Xiao, and Rosaria cover the front and act as decoys."

They nod immediately, but Xiao still clicks his tongue in distaste as he starts following orders.

Then you offer Kaeya a hand. "Get up princess. You're on sniper duty."

With Diluc out of commission, the battle is fair and square now considering both sides have the same amount of people. Ergo, no one's at a disadvantage.

That is—until Lisa fake trips over pure air, landing on the floor in a dramatic slow motion.

You roll your eyes.

"Oh dear! I think I've twisted something." She cries out, crawling away from the battle field, acting as if she's paralyzed completely. "Don't worry about me. I'll cheer you on from afar. The battle has begun, and it seems as if I've become the first casualty."

You don't let the countless amount of Lisa's betrayals get to you, even this one. It's just her personality to flake out on anything and everything that requires her to do more than below the bare minimum.

Focusing on the match, your eyes are only on Childe, just as his are on you.

You aim the ball straight at his ribs, step back a bit, then propel the ball in the air with as much energy as you can, using your entire body as a power outlet. The ball spins in the air, reaching the awaiting victim.

Childe, unbothered, dodges the ball with perfect precision, the ball not even grazing his clothes at the least.

Your jaw drops open, and you're about to move for another ball until he grabs the same ball you threw at him. With the sharpness of a predator locking in on its pray, he focuses on you like a missile locks on its target, launching the ball in the air for power that has you trembling, second to the powerful ball that was thrown by Diluc.

With your pupils dilated at your impeding doom, it's Xiao that grabs you and thrusts away.

The ball lands on the floor, smoke rising.

"Holy shit!" You shriek over everyone else's grunts and shuffles. "Are you trying to kill me?"

"Isn't it poetic?" Childe shouts back while he slides away from the balls being thrown. "Lover against lover. Either you're by my side, or in my way. And right now, you're in my way." He narrows his eyes dangerously. "Albeit reluctantly, I will take the victory babe. Even if we are on opposing sides."

"There was zero reluctance in that throw asshole!"

You thank Xiao, who wipes his hands on his pants in disgust. "Filthy humans. So pathetic and weak."

Mildly offended, you roll your sleeves up and begin to fight with everything you've got as soon as he walks away.

The dodgeball game goes as expected for the most part, Eula carrying for most of it with the flow of her skills.

Tohma actually tries like the presumptuous asshole he is, aims straight for his girlfriend Ayaka, and takes her out completely. His only justification for that is "I ain't no simp!"

He shelves his cocky attitude when facing Childe with a sense of dignity and prestige you didn't think he had in him.

The two one of a kind fuckbois puff out their chests so that they look more hefty than they are, having some kind of an Alpha match. The 'me stronger than you. me dominant. me get all the women' type beat.

Unfortunately, Childe manages to fence him with his throws, and lo and behold, the square off ends with a dejected Tohma dragging his feet to the nearest bench.

Eula oversees that Ningguang and Beidou meet a quick end, taking their slower dodging to her advantage. You're actually rooting for her, tasting a sliver of victory that you haven't reached yet. So close, yet so far.

Amber trips on herself in the middle of throwing a what should've been coordinated ball, and it loses most of its momentum. Xiao is directly in front of it, and will probably be able to catch it with ease.

Ah, another short victory.

If Childe loses his expert baller, he's only left with Kazuha and Jean, whom's lack in the art of throwing is made up by their ability to dodge most of the fastballs.

However, all your plans and hopes are crushed when Eula slides in front of Xiao last minute, sticks out her foot, and let's the pathetic product of Amber's would-be downfall hit her on the leg with the total force of about 0.0000001 newtons.

Your chances of winning have just went down by a staggering 60%.

"Eula!" You cry out, collapsing on the ground. "How could you?"

Tohma cups his mouth and bellows obnoxiously from the bench. "SIMP!"

"I cannot avenge my clan if I win a false victory." Eula crosses her arms, casting her gaze down in visible uncomfortableness. "Amber will pay her dues in two business days. Mark my words."

It all a load of cap. She's sleeping with the enemy and you know it.

You grit your teeth. Fuming with an abundance of rage, you pick up three balls and throw them all back to back, taking out Amber and Kazuha simultaneously.

Childe's heart flutters in another kind of delight when you pluck out his team members one by one with no hints of remorse.

In retaliation, Jean and Childe work in sync to swiftly take care of a distracted Rosaria.

"Shit." You hiss underneath your breath.

It's Venti, Kaeya, Xiao, and you who are the only remainders of your short-lived team. It's still two more people than Childe and Jean, giving you the upper hand briefly.

It's a mystery to everyone how Venti is still standing. You reckoned you would've lost him as collateral during the beginning of the match, but it seems he's able to hold his own.

When you squint hard enough, you realize that Xiao has been t-posing in front of the nonchalant SoundCloud rapper that's about as high as a kite. He must've been defending him throughout the entire round.

His defenses are all in vain once Childe correlates another attack with Jean, sharp-shooting four rapid balls that are secured on their targets.

Xiao swerves to the side, avoiding most of them, until one is about to reach a nonchalant as shit Venti.

You scream at him, eyes widening as you run towards them in slow motion. "NOoOoOOOo-"

The yaksha doesn't waste a moment, shifting so that he's covering Venti's body with his own, which to be honest is a pretty heartwarming sight.

The ball hits his lean back, a sharp thud following when it hits the floor.

Xiao is out. But his sacrifice is so inspiring that it brings tears to Zhongli's eyes, makes everyone in the gym go silent in awe.

Even the sadistic Childe melts, cerulean eyes gaining back their light, halting his fire.

When Xiao finally uncovers Venti's body, he speaks from the bottom of his dead heart. "I'd do anything for you..."

Venti shakes out of his baked state, blinking at him stupidly with a nervous chuckle. "Ehe~? I don't even know who you are."

The entire class sweat drops. Whatever slip of compassion on Childe's face earlier has become nothing but a memory. Even your eyes dim.

The next time Childe aims and locks at Venti, it's not with malicious intent. It's a favour, for you. In a way it adds dimension to who he is and the lengths he's willing to go for you, even at war.

Venti steps away with a bounce in his gait, hands behind his head.

Kaeya and you are the only ones left standing now, and the game becomes too tight knit to tell which side's going to win. It becomes utter chaos, balls being launched every second, stamina slowly decreasing as everyone lurches away from their demise.

As laid-back  and charming as the boy presents himself to be in front of the ladies, he's not very patient when it comes to facing circumstances like these. He's side lined for most of the match, finding it boring. And when Kaeya gets bored, the intensity of the tide changes, and everyone knows they're going to get a run for their money.

Kaeya coasts a hand around your hips, pulls you real close, purposefully leaning his bust into the side your innocent arm.

When Childe's smile drops, and the glint in his eyes reads 'DANGER' in full caps, you know it's time to be properly scared.

Your blood runs cold, mouth opening briefly and then clamping shut immediately.

"I'm so glad to be on your team Y/N. Maybe this'll give us the chance to become...closer." His hot breath fans against your ear, voice loud enough to be heard by onlookers.

Suddenly everything stops, falling into an unsettling silence.

You attempt glance at Childe, being met with a glare that's directed at the Captain of the Skating team. The ball in the orange-haired boy's hand deflates from the sheer intensity of the squeeze.

The tension becomes unreadable. Even Zhongli is caught mid-sip with his tea.

Quickly, you shrug off Kaeya's arm. "Childe, he's just fucking with you—"

Childe cuts you off by hurling a ball with nothing but the objective of cold blooded murder.

Kaeya whizzes past you, successfully ducking to avoid the hit, and his amused laugh rings through your ears. He rolls away from the following attacks, chucking his own series of colourful balls.

The events that unfold are blood-curdling enough to make even Satan boil his pants with diarrhea.

You take the clear opportunity presented by their concurrent dumbassery to take out Jean, the ace of the other team.

Childe's rage blows over when Kaeya eventually loses interest and takes the L, playfully winking at you while walking backwards to the rest of your team.

Now that all the distractions are dealt with, Childe's eyes flicker to you, and you share a murderous glance.

"Finally," He slaps the softball with a free hand, lips thinning into a homicidal smile. "I've been waiting for this. You better not disappoint me."

While Childe may be a violent anarchist who's only aspiration in life is to become a government contracted killer, he's also supposed to be your sweet boyfriend.

Slowly, you inch towards the front. "We don't have to do this Childe. We can coexist peacefully."

"Peace was never an option Y/N." He sighs, cracking his neck. "Besides—how else can I prove myself in your eyes? You may be my greatest weakness, but you are also my greatest adversary."

"I don't know, maybe start with not trying to obliterate me?"

"I'm obliterating you out of respect." He counters with a playful pout.

"Well I'll be paying my respects to your grave!" You lurch ahead into a sudden assault, yeeting as many balls as you can his way.

"That's my girl!" Childe whistles, grin widening psychotically when he goes all out, leaving you with an absence in favorable openings.

Out of nowhere, the fire alarms start going haywire, along with a beep in the PA system, which stops you two in your tracks.

A panicked voice of who you assume to be Yanfei shrieks through the comms. "CODE ORANGE! CODE ORANGE! EVACUATE THE BUILDING, THERE'S A STONEHIDE LAWACHURL ON THE PREMISES."

As if on cue, the ground starts rumbling and a Stonehide Lawachurl bursts through the halls and into the gym, looking around for something. Or rather, someone. It's sharp bumps and ridges make an indent on the floor, cracking it in.

Everyone falls into a state of panic, Zhongli trying his best to evacuate the class from the emergency back door as quickly as possible. "Settle down class, we have to follow protocol."

You, devoid of any emotion or sense of fear, turn to your boyfriend in such a calm manner it strikes an ominous dread in his stomach.

You stare.

Childe stares harder.

“I thought you killed it."

"I did." He retorts slowly, switching to gaze at the raging beast in amazement.

"Then why is it in the school!" You seethe, glaring daggers at his side profile.

Childe chuckles sheepishly, scratches the back of his neck. "I may or may not have stuffed the body in the boys washroom. Y'know, for safe keeping?"

The Lawachurl locks it's gaze on you, the prey, and then roars furiously. Turning into its geo-enhanced state, it begins charging at you with all its might, the target being solely Childe.

Leave it to your boyfriend to get on the hit list of an endangered beast.

"Fear not my vibrant girlfriend. Our first date can be surviving this." Childe cheekily kisses the top of your trembling hand before grasping it tightly and making a run for it.

[mythiccheroacademia]

A/N: Thank you hottie❤️ Tumblr was fucking with the format, so I had to repost.  Anyways, I looovveee this request. I’ve been waiting to be in the right mood to write this. Like, jealous muscular himbos completely head over heels for their s/o? Sign me up.

Sorry for the wait. I hope you enjoy this, sugar plum

All characters are 18+

Warnings: smut below the line!

Katsuki Bakugo:

SFW

bakugo doesnt get jealous

he usually felt secure in your relationship

yeah he got annoyed when kaminari would jokingly flirt with you

and yes, it made him angry when the dekusquad would literally stare at you with puppy dog eyes

and it pissed him off when kirishima suddenly became the funniest guy in the room when you were around

but he wasn’t jealous

how could he be? he’s bakugo katsuki

you agreed to go out with him. the strongest. the best. you couldn't get any better than him

right?

lmao no

the bigger the ego, the more fragile it was

bakugo doesnt handle jealousy well

there’s a small part of him that knows he can be an asshole

he’s not the most...affectionate person

but damn it, if he doesnt try his hardest for you

you notice that he gets quieter but his actions become a lot more aggressive

he’s glaring at anyone that smiles at you

it’s honestly scarier than his threats

forces you to hold hands

is suddenly into PDA??? when he kissed you in front of your friends you literally made a face

you didn't know what was up with him, but you were really confused when you told him to chill and he visibility wilted

once he came around to telling you that he wouldn't hold it against you if you wanted to leave him, you were quick to reassure him

give him a couple kisses and rub his ego just a tad, and he’ll be back to normal

acts like he didn't just look like he was about to cry two seconds ago

NSFW

there are two things that happen when bakugo gets jealous

at first, he’s very rough and handsy

he likes to talk big and say things like

“imma fuck you up when we get home”

“you like when daddy does that, sweetheart?”

“kiss it right there, baby”

“youre mine. tell me your mine”

he’s doing everything he can to get you screaming and thrashing

he’ll go down on you for hours, leave you trembling, only to tell you that was a warm-up

there’s this dark look in his eyes when he’s pounding into you, gripping the headboard so he can angle himself in the best position possible

it’s like he’s trying to prove himself by wrecking you

in the midst of your fucking, just when you feel like youre about to pass out, bakugo’s head falls on your shoulder

he’s still thrusting into you, but it gets slower and deeper

needier

now it’s not just fucking

looks into your eyes with the most adoring gaze and kisses the breath of out you

he can’t speak, too deep into your lovemaking to express how much he loves you

how he’s so scared of losing you

but you don’t need his words to understand

lock your legs around his hips and tell him how you’ll always be his and he will let out a moan that makes your toes curl

when you reach your high, it’s a vulnerable moment

lots of soft kisses and hugging

wont admit to the tears that sting his eyes but is willing to express his adornment for you through his embrace and aftercare

Todoroki Shouto:

SFW

todoroki doesnt have a lot of experience with jealousy

he knows what anger is

he’s felt insecurity

and he knows what it feels like to long for something or someone

but envy was a foreign concept to him

that was until he got into his first romantic relationship with you

don't get him wrong, he trusted you with everything

you gave him no reason to question your loyalty

and it never occurred to him that you would leave him for someone else because of how strong your love was for one another

however, his insecurities always got the best of him

he had a lot of baggage

he knew that

and when someone would approach you, someone that looked free-spirited and independent, he’d wonder if he was holding you back

even then, he can’t help but think that no one is worth the ground you walked on

not even himself sometimes

he never brings it up

but you notice that he started touching his scar a lot more

todoroki would try to act more extroverted thinking it would be better if he was livelier

youre deep talks about family matter diminished little by little

he tried to fill your comfortable silence with awkward conversation

you were so confused why your bf was acting so different

it took a couple attempts to get him to spill his thoughts

once he did, he’s stark quiet, looking away, fearing that you’d be so disappointed in him

but you just take his face in your hands and tell him

“you’re my whole world shouto. why would i ever give that up?”

he holds you in his arms for a long time after that

NSFW

behind his jealousy of onlooking eyes is a deep steed of low self-esteem

and you can feel it when you get intimate

he’s always looking to please you, but now he’s desperate, trying so hard to think of what will make you feel good

it makes you sad bc he already knows the answer to those questions

but he overthinks it

he’s noticeably shier

his touches are hesitant as he second-guesses himself

is continuously asking if you’re okay or if he’s doing it right

at one point, you have to take charge and push him down on the bed

“let me show you how much i want you. just you”

licks his lips as you kiss down his body

one of those guys that believes sucking his dick is a chore 💀

“you don't have to do that” face ass

so when you suck the soul out of him, he’s SPRUNG

would write a song about it if he could LMAO

quickly says he loves you before kissing you like the world depends on it as you ride him

twirl your hips in the way he likes and he’ll hiss out curses

run your hands through his hair and kiss his scar and he’ll give you such pretty moans

please tell him how beautiful he is and how much you love him

my mans will nut on the spot

after the first round, he regains his confidence and flips you on your hands and knees

before you even know what’s going on, he’s pounding into you, gripping your hips like a lifeline

now that he’s reminded that he’s your man, he spends the night realigning your spine

bc who could do it better?

Togata Mirio:

SFW

mirio is one of the most confident people ever

not only is he secure in himself, but he’s secure in your relationship

he knows he bagged a baddie

ofc people would be all over you

he couldn't blame them! i mean, look at you!

when people approached you, he usually let you handle it

if they were persistent, he would just put an arm around your waist

“you’ve got good taste, but they’re taken! sorry!”

it’s so wholesome that the other person can’t even find it within themselves to be upset

there was only one time he recalled getting genuinely jealous

it was during the time you two weren't exclusively dating

just going on dates to see how things went

at the same time, he overheard from your friend that your ex was trying to get back with you

when he heard that, he started sweating

it wasn't jealousy, but more like fear

he was determined not to lose you

not when things were going so well

mirio literally goes above and beyond on your dates

mans deadass learns how to cook all your favorite foods to bring to you

youre crying bc the seasoning was just *chef’s kiss*

brings you flowers at random times of the day

sends you pictures of things that remind him of you

you’re just soaking up all the attention

he’s always been an extra person so you didn't think much of it

it wasn't until you two were cuddling and watching a movie in his apartment that he confesses to you

“i know that i’m competing against history between you and your ex, but i want you to know that my feelings for you are strong, y/n. and i’ll do everything to prove to you that i can be the man of your dreams”

you stare at him before bringing him in for a kiss

“there’s a reason my ex is my ex”

“but--”

“just ask me to be yours already, mirio”

he didnt have to be told twice

NSFW

it was actually that same night that cuddling turned into something a little nastier

honestly, from then on, if you cuddled for more than 20min, there was a 99% chance yall end up fucking lmao

but that night, when he was kissing your neck and grinding his dick against you, he noticed your phone light up on the nightstand

you were too caught up in his fingers between your legs but he saw the text from your ex

it read: “i know this might be out of the blue, but would you wanna catch up over dinner sometime?”

now, mirio wasn't one to be spiteful

but he couldn't help but get a little heated

knowing your ex was trying to get back with you was way different than seeing it

a tiny switch goes off in his head and now he’s ready to make it known that you and him are together

you’re in heaven as mirio’s lips suck and nip at your neck and body

his head game is immaculate

turns you on your stomach so he can massage your back and ass before sliding into you

mirio holds your neck and gives you sloppy kisses as his hips swim into you

your phone lights up again and you can barely think straight when he gets rougher

starts pounding into you like he’s tryna put a baby in you whether it’s possible or not 💀

youre grabbing for anything you can hold as he starts whispering sweet nothings about how he’s gonna take care of you

whew...what a man yall 🥴

the entire time he’s wearing a shit-eating grin

bc he knows he won

might have accidentally sent your ex a voice recording of you moaning his name

oops

[forsworned]

[♥] academyau!substitute teacher {renguko kyojuro x reader}

Genre: Slight Fluff, Comedy

Categories: F/M

Relationships: Kyoujuro Renguko/Reader, Giyuu Tomioka/Reader

word count: 2,538

a/n: this is a pretty long read, so read at your own risk of boredom. i guess it could also b classified as a "x giyuu" but the title is just way too long and kind of throws the main focus off. might turn this into multiple parts so let me know what y'all think! also this is just a filler for the requests i have rn i don't want to leave you guys hanging

❀⊱┄┄┄┄┄┄┄┄┄┄┄⊰❀

"I literally don't know shit about history."

Giyu sighed in exasperation. "You don't need to know anything about history [first name]. The teacher already has a lesson plan and you literally just need to pass out the papers. I just need you to cover for a couple of a days because one of the teachers are out sick."

You groaned as you threw your head back in annoyance, pushing your feet up against the edge of your desk. Even though it didn't look it Giyu was practically begging you to substitute for one of his coworkers. And he almost never asks for favors.

Giyu ran a hand through his hair. "He's super picky with his subs and everyone he's had come in hasn't come back."

"So you're saying that I'm a good pick." You mused, with your head in your hands with an annoying smug look.

"Don't push it."

You scrunched your face in disgust. "I just really, really don't want to Giyu. Middle school kids are the absolute worst. All they do is make moaning noises and forget or neglect to wear deodarant."

Giyu lightly chuckled. Your eyes darted to watch his usually solemn demeanor melted away into a small smile which immediately disappeared when you caught wind of it.

He cleared his throat and continued to speak like nothing happened.

"Anyway, so you'll do it?"

You rolled your eyes.

"Yeah, whatever. I'll do it."

Giyu looked pleased with himself when he heard your answer.

"I mean after all, I do owe you like a million and one favors." You sarcastically mused.

Which you kind of did. Giyu was your childhood best friend and always kept your out trouble in the nick of time. Whether it was you getting chased down by the neighborhood cat, or when you got gum stuck in your hair and you didn't want your parents to find out so he quickly snipped it out of your hair with everything seemingly in place like nothing happened. Yeah you could say you were a bit of troublemaker growing up, but Giyu was like the older brother that always looked after you.

"I'm so glad you realized." He replied cooly. "Be here by 7:30AM. Don't be late, I already have enough on my plate and I don't need you embarassing me."

You used your hand to shoo him out of your office space. "Mhm, you can leave now."

"I'm serious."

"Yup."

He squinted his eyes at you."[first name]"

"Ok! I got it. I'll be there 7:30 sharp." You exclaimed throwing your arms up in surrender.

He smirked in satisfaction. "Good."

─── ･ ｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ. ───

The morning air was crisp as the sun shone down on your blurred eyes. You absolutely dreaded waking up in the morning and despite that you still agreed to be here. Oh, how you hated that man.

"Good morning." A familiar voice muffled beside you.

Speak of the devil.

He was munching away at his raisin bread walking next to you in the most nonchalant manner. Typical Giyu.

"Shut up." You mumbled miserably.

"You know, you could be a little nicer."

Your eyes narrowed at him. Expression in full death stare mode, but Giyu was as cool as ever, and as always completely unfazed by your behavior. But before you could retaliate, middle and highschool girls were practically lining up to say good morning to Giyu, blushing like mad when he acknowledged them. You on the other hand, were getting the death stares and whispers instead.

"Must be nice to be the heart throb PE teacher." You teased, poking him with your binder.

Giyu ignored you as you walked into the building, showing you to your classroom. You ignored the stares of kids burning holes through your back as you analyzed everything. Tons of inspirational historical quotes lined the walls, pictures and signatures of past and possibly current students covered one single wall. You inspected closely trying to catch a glimpse of who the teacher you were substituting for. One person in particular caught your eye, and he was hot. With a capital H. But before you could look at the other pictures to confirm Giyu called you over.

"Miss [last name], can you come up to the front and introduce yourself."

You sighed as you approached the front of the classroom and watched as the students all stood up. As their whispers got louder, you had to resist the urge to roll your eyes.

"Good morning class. I'm going to be your substitute teacher for the day as Mr.--"You glanced over at the desk and moved the plaque in your direction. "--Renguko is out sick today."

As the class bowed in respect getting their good morning greetings, some of the children could't help but show their disappointment. You noticed most of them girls.

"I'll leave them to you." Giyu stated, and then looked at the class. "And be good to your substitute. I don't want to hear anyone misbehaving."

They bowed as he exited the room and now all eyes were on you. You sighed to yourself.

I really gotta learn to say no sometimes.

─── ･ ｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ. ───

To say you were exhausted was an understatement. It’s not that you hated kids or anything, but they always just see to have so much energy and well, you didn’t. Not even a cup of coffee could save you right now. You watched as the clock above your desk ticked and felt yourself getting more and more sleepier by the moment. Your consciousness fleeting as you lie under your warm blankets.

The image of that fiery haired man popped into your head and your eyes shot open.

You totally forgot to ask Giyu about that hot guy!

You let out a loud groan, knowing that your timing was off because now he would most definitely be suspicious if you asked him tomorrow. The curiosity of knowing that man itched at your skin. You absolutely had to know who he was.

What if he was a high school student, or worse a middle school student who looked very grown.

You outwardly icked at the thought, closing your eyes and scrunching your face in disgusted.

No way. He definitely had to be an adult. Maybe even a teacher.

“The history teacher!” You exclaimed out loud, shooting your whole body up.

It had to be him. You smiled victoriously to yourself, mentally patting yourself in the back.

And you had the perfect plan set up to find out.

─── ･ ｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ. ───

You had to have looked in the mirror for about three hours to make sure you looked absolutely stunning. Hair curled to frame your face perfectly, and make up subtle but very much enhancing your natural features. You rubbed your lips one more time in the mirror before smacking your hands to your face to wake yourself up. Giyu was not going to be happy.

The morning bells chimed and you were seated at the desk welcoming students as they walked in. You discreetly checked your make up in your compact mirror under the desk to make sure nothing was running and not a hair was out of place.

“Perfect.” You whispered to yourself, running a hand through your blow out. All this work for a man that probably wasn’t even a teacher here.

“Miss [last name], what are you doing here.”

You froze at the voice. Nothing could prepare you for the icy glare that Giyu shot down at you. It sent a shiver down your spine. But his glare melted right off of you as you glanced over to the man next to him. Your mystery man finally come true!

“Oh hello, Mr. Tomioka. It’s pleasure seeing you.” You smiled, standing up. You looked right over to the handsome man right next to him. His hair like rays of sunlight with eyes to match. You could barely contain your excitement. “And you must be Mr. Renguko.”

His smile as big as the sun. Scratch that. He was the sun.

Bright, beautiful and fiery. He physically made you warmer just being in his very presence. You could’ve sworn you heard simultaneous female sighs in admiration, but you were way too distracted by how utterly gorgeous he was.

“Yes, I am.” He cheerfully stated. “And you must be the substitute that was in for me yesterday.”

He took your hand in his and you could’ve sworn you melted at his touch. Finely calloused hands, indicating that he worked with his hands a lot. Not that his physique couldn’t already tell you how absolutely fit he was.

“Yes, I am. Your class was wonderful. I didn’t have any problems with them whatsoever.” You couldn’t help but smile from ear to ear. This really was the man and it took every ounce of you not to pinch yourself to see if you were awake or not.

“So are you going to tell me why exactly you’re here today.” Giyu chimed in. This time his icy glare had no effect.

“Oh yes, I thought I was still scheduled for today. I never heard anything back from Mr.Tomioka so I assumed that I would head back in.” You lied right through your teeth and Giyu could see right through it.

He narrowed his eyes at you. “And I remember emailing you last night confirming that Mr. Renguko was fully recovered and ready to work again.”

You couldn’t see it but Giyu was totally spitting out venom with every single word he spoke. It was almost terrifying, but you were way too distracted by the glow of the man that was the literal sun right beside you.

As if the smile on your face couldn’t get any bigger.

“That’s odd. I don’t remember getting an email.” You innocently put a finger to your lip, and looked upward as if you were searching your head for the memory of the email confirmation that you definitely recall getting.

Giyu’s went from you to Mr.Renguko. And then it finally clicked for him. His shoulder dropped in defeat. He did not have the strength required to dealing with your shenanigans today. He turned around heading out the classroom, raising a hand to dismissively.

“Just don’t burn the place down.”

You gave him two big thumbs up. “You got it!”

"So would you like to observe the class since you're already here?" Mr.Renguko interjected. He motioned to the empty seat right beside his desk and chair.

You beamed at him. "Only if that's okay with your class, of course."

"Oh trust me, they are more than okay with that." He grinned at the students. Most of them smiled and blushed looking away from your direction. You sat there in confusion, but before you could inquire about what he said, he shot out of his seat and grabbed the stack of papers on his desk.

"Alright, class we are going to go over your classwork from yesterday and finish the rest of chapter six."

☆彡

It seemed like forever until Mr.Renguko had settled into his seat while he let his students work together on their classwork.

"I can see why my students are such big fans of you." He mused. You looked up from your phone and saw him warmly grinning at your face. This time you didn't fight the blood rushing to the surface of your cheeks.

"What do you mean by that?"

"Well," He pulled out a stack of notecards and began shuffling through them. "I always have my students write their own evaluations of my substitutes and yours were outstanding. Lots of compliments about your appearance and how you carried the class."

Evaluation? Appearance?

Your jaw went slightly aslack at his words. The only thing that left your lips: "Evaluations...?"

His grin grew. Mr.Rengoku knew that this had caught you off guard but he continued. "Yes, I like to know what substitutes are doing their job and keeping my students in line and comfortable."

You were almost speechless. "Wow, you must really care about your students."

He smiled softly this time, and fondly looked over at his students working diligently and quietly together. "Yes, I do. They're kind of like my own kids. I want the very best for them."

Just when you thought you couldn't admire him anymore that you already did. Hot and caring? It had to be too good to be true. You pointed to the best teacher of the year awards on his desk. "I guess you didn't get those just based off your looks alone then."

He visibly blushed and chuckled at you statement as he rubbed the back of his head. "Nah, I don't think so."

You raised an eyebrow at him and pointed at the wall of photos and signatures that lined his wall. "That wall definitely says otherwise."

He laughed a hearty laugh this time. "I don't really think that's the case. Like I said I just look after my students like their my own. They really are my pride and joy."

It really was incredibly hard to not let yourself melt into a puddle in his presence alone. But before you could collect your thoughts, the lunch bell rang and students filed out to their homeroom's and handing in their assignments on their way out. Most of the girls shot you dirty looks before heading out as a way of showing their contempt towards you before the smiled at Mr.Rengoku who was collecting papers at the doorway. At this point, you literally couldn't blame them. Their teacher was a total hottie and you were practically stealing him right under their noses.

As the last student handed in their assignment, Mr. Rengoku closed the door behind them and approached his desk to set aside the stack of papers. He pulled put a box of tissues, picking one out and sneezed rather loudly into it. Cheeks were now a hue of vermillion and he slighted groaned while holding his head.

"You don't look so good, Mr. Renguko." You stated worriedly.

He waved you off. "Nonsense, I'm fine. And you can drop the formalities when were not in front of students. Call me Kyojuro."

You sighed as you fumbled through your bag handing him some cold and flu pills and a packet of vitamin c. "Ok, Kyojuro. You can call me [first name], but I'm going to need you to take these for me and get on home."

He blew loudly into his tissue before tossing into the trash revealing his very red nose. "I-I'm fine, Miss [last name]-- I mean [first name]. Really, I'm ok." He stuttered as he tried to collect himself and get up. Unfortunately, he couldn't hold himself up for more than ten seconds before collapsing and luckily you were there to catch him. He seemed to have been mumbled incoherent words as he laid heavily in your arms. You sighed as you slowly laid him down on the ground and reached for your cellphone to dial the one person you knew could handle this situation the best.

"You didn't actually burn the place down did you?"

You rolled your eyes. "No, idiot. Teacher down."

"Ah, fuck."

[curiousconch]

Chase You / Chase Me (Pt. 2)

Part 2: Before I dive right into you

Catch up here: Series Masterlist

Chapter Summary: In the aftermath of their pretend wedding in Las Vegas, Gabe begins to unravel his growing feelings for Alex. But as he attempts to bring his past to light, someone from Alex's previous life casts a shadow on the future.

Book/Pairing: Choices - Laws of Attraction / Gabe Ricci x MC (Alex Keating)

Words: 2.4k+ (sorry 🙈)

Rating/Warnings: Mature (16+) / alcohol consumption, some swears

Disclaimer: Most of the characters as well as some dialogue belong to Pixelberry. I am merely borrowing them.

A little after 1 AM, Las Vegas

Gabe can't help but smirk at the look of mischief in Alex's eyes as they stood by a quiet spot in the middle of Las Vegas. With her in that glittery dress, he somehow can't bring himself to part from her yet.

He knew it wasn't only him who felt that tingling in his fingertips when he brushed her cheeks, her breath smelling strongly of martini. He was very aware that Alex felt the same when she stared back at him, standing at that cramped cheap chapel while an Elvis impersonator stood nearby. The moment she stepped away when he said that it's just all pretend made Gabe's heart ache with regret.

So here they were, standing awkwardly after he shot down her advances again.

But he was sure he didn't want the night to end here.

After calling for a car, he shoved his phone inside the pocket of his slacks and turned to Alex.

"I was serious when I said I wanted a celebratory drink," he glanced apologetically to his side where she stood. "Our hotel bar offers my favorite scotch."

Alex raised her head, smiling. "Knew you had it in you, Gabe."

A car ride and a couple of glasses of Lagavulin later, there they were, lounging on stools at their opulent hotel bar, warm lights and jazz music providing a backdrop on the casual atmosphere.

"And I could not believe the rat thing worked! Who would've known they kept a rat in there as a pet? Like really?" Alex raised her glass to her lips, as Gabe sat on the barstool beside her, cradling his own drink.

"Beginner's luck, I would believe," he chuckled in reply, leaning forward, tie loosened and his coat hanging at the back of his chair.

"I am so offended," Alex gasped as she shoved her hands flat on her chest in mock disbelief. "I'm not only the boring nerd when I was in high school, Gabe. I was that nerd who sang and dance at the drama club!"

Gabe shook his head, his lips pursing. "That makes so much damn sense, Alex." He took another swig of his third shot, fighting for dear life from laughing his heart out. Not wanting to give her that satisfaction, he threw a sarcastic dig at her remark. "That's so believable, seeing you could snatch an Oscar from Meryl Streep herself and the no one wouldn't even bat an eye."

"Ah, law was plan A, sir." she saluted, placing her empty glass on the bar counter. "Acting was a fallback in case it didn't pan out." she giggled.

Gabe grinned as he rolled up his sleeves, beckoning the bartender for another round. "You should have made it your plan A, seeing how you turned out," he teased, bringing up the fun bit they did to retrieve a copy of Lydia Rothswell's marriage certificate. The very same act that almost made Gabe kiss Alex in the middle of The Strip.

"Aww, Gabe, finally found a better lawyer than you? Feeling threatened yet?" Alex leaned in, snickering as their glasses were refilled. "Don't worry, I' ll settle for being a Junior Partner for now," she said as she reclined, before throwing in a playful wink.

"Well someone's head just became bigger," he gave her a smug look.

"Just trying to keep up with all the cockiness in the room," she smiled coyly, watching Gabe's stupefied expression. It was clear then that she scored a slam dunk at the championship of comebacks, laughing at his astonishment.

Gabe finally gave up, joining Alex in her laughter. As their joy receded, he let himself take in the sight of Alex without any inhibitions. What he was beginning to see was the extent of her wit, her ability to keep her cool, and the sharp humor that matched only his.

Under the warm light of the lounge, she brilliantly shone. He couldn't focus at what she was now saying as he danced at the appeal of them becoming more than colleagues. Perhaps he resisted his own feelings long enough that he was past the point of denial. Or simply because he was starting to get drunk.

Though before he can even begin to consider that, he was still sober enough to know that he first needed to tell her the truth.

The truth that sometime long ago, their paths have already crossed. And that he did something very horrible.

Call him cynical, but he wasn't kidding when he admitted he was an all-or-nothing kind of guy. And that meant laying down all his cards on the table. Because for him, Alex was more than the occasional one-night stand. And he can't be certain of how long he could keep himself from his budding feelings, all stakes be damned.

What better time to be honest when there was enough alcohol in his system to prevent all rational thinking? It's now or never, he figured.

"Alex, I -"

"Alessandra? Alessandra Keating?" a deep voice came from behind him, interrupting Gabe. He cocked his head to get a clearer view, as a man with slicked back blonde hair approached from a private booth nearby.

Without hesitation, the tall stranger in the dark suit stepped forward, his striking features Gabe would have easily recognized anywhere. That face was almost in every blockbuster movie in the last five years.

"Julian? What are you doing here?" Alex asked, as abashed as he was. Gabe saw how she clammed up the very second she recognized the man.

"Oh my, it really is you!" the man stopped beside Alex's bar stool, welcoming himself to their company. The way he was looking up and down at her made Gabe's jaw clench so hard, his teeth gritted. But the man's next movement stunned him all the more. In front of him, the man embraced Alex, making Gabe suddenly want to combust. His tumbler could've shattered if he tightened his grip on it a little more.

"Uhm, Julian, hi," Gabe surveyed Alex as she writhed within the man's arms, waiting for any signal from her so he could do something, anything, to make this man go away. But she assured him with one look, shifting a little, making the man who wedged himself between them release her.

"It's been so long! When was the last time I saw you, like, 12, 13 years ago?" the man exclaimed, his annoying smile making Gabe want to slam his fist somewhere. And it wasn't on the bar counter.

Gabe heard Alex scoff, fighting hard to regain her composure. "Yeah, high school," Her icy demeanor took over, one that Gabe only saw in the courtroom. She brushed her dress as she tilted her head to Gabe's direction.

The man turned to Gabe, the surprise evident as he acknowledged Gabe's presence behind him. The two men sized each other up sending an undercurrent of tension between them. Before Gabe could even consider acting out of impulse, Alex cleared her throat to diffuse his temper.

"Julian, this is Gabe. Gabe, this is Julian, my -"

"Ex," Julian interjected, before turning his attention to the lawyer. Apparently, this guy had a habit, Gabe observed. "We were together senior year. Alessandra, my angel, we had the best time together, didn't we? We looked good together, at least after Alex thought to improve her image here. Sadly, we had to break up. Teenage romances, you know?"

The picture couldn't be any clearer; this was the person Alex was speaking about during their dinner back in New York. And hearing the way he talked, no wonder Julian got under her skin. He was a damned manipulative pretentious liar. Gabe could hear the dishonesty between the words, not an ounce of authenticity in sight while the blonde hotshot rambled on.

Alex wasn't showing any sympathy either, her brown eyes staring daggers at him, as he went on about his monologue, emphasizing on how she was his back then. She was clearly infuriated by his attempt to own her, as well as his lack of shame. As Gabe quietly considered her reaction, he deliberated on a strategy to put her out her misery. The moment an idea came to mind, he gave Alex a subtle look asking her to back his play.

Alex nodded, sitting a little straighter. Finding the instant shift in her, Gabe made his move.

"Sweetheart," he slowly raised his voice as he said the endearment, enjoying the contempt from the other guy when he was interrupted. "You never told me Julian Wintour was your ex."

Alex smiled smugly, appearing pleased with the nickname Gabe chose, a clear pun on the whole high school sweetheart trope. "Never crossed my mind, babe. It's such an unimportant detail in my past," she waved her hand dismissively.

"Ah, nonsense," he finished his drink and gestured for the bartender to clean up. "Mr. Wintour's history would have made a good conversation starter." Gabe straightened his vest and stood, collecting his coat. He sauntered towards Alex, circling around the now speechless Julian. He draped his jacket over her shoulders, clearly making a statement before he reached for her hand, wrapping it in his.

"Why? Isn't the shiny nameplate of Senior Partner not good enough?" Alex expertly rode along, locking eyes with her former flame before gazing back at Gabe enticingly. "Forgive him, Julian. My lovely boyfriend here has a bad hobby of underselling himself," she smiled warmly, the irony of her statement eluding her ex. Gabe was about to smirk with her ingenuity, stopping when he felt her arm slowly wrapping around his waist. He barely stifled a groan at the intimacy of her touch.

The other man went beet red at the gesture. For embarrassment or infuriation or both, Gabe didn't fucking care. All he cared about was for Alex to slap this douche's face, metaphorically speaking.

"Anyway, Julian, it's been a pleasure. It's been a long night, and we're about ready to retire at our penthouse suite," steadily, she got up from her seat. The command in her was undeniable, forcing anyone to feel nothing but regret the day they decided Alessandra Keating wasn't good enough for them. Then with a flourish, she turned around as she let Gabe take her away from her past lover's scrutinizing gaze.

Inside the elevator, Gabe caught Alex's exhale of relief, probably thankful that Julian was out of her sight. Gabe still held onto her hand, though Alex didn't seem to notice. As they began their ascent, he waited for her to break the silence, deciding that the questions running in his mind can wait.

"I would have traded my rankings for the look of disbelief in Julian's face," Alex said turning to him, to which Gabe arched his brow.

He smirked devilishly, knowing Alex could take the hint. "I believe I could offer a sight better than that."

She grinned at the innuendo, further lightening up the mood between them. "One day, Gabe, I'll take you up on that," she said, crossing her legs as she leaned on the polished wall behind her. "Though I'm sure you're dying to know... How did I end up dating the Julian Wintour?"

Gabe pondered before answering. "Hmm, actually not the first one that comes to mind, no." He tapped against his temple. "I doubted you would ever bat an eyelash to his direction."

Her eyebrows rose. "Ah, you think so highly of me." She chuckled, shaking her head at his reply. "But yes, he was my ex. And yes, he was the red on my ledger. He was my first love," she admitted. "That ideal, once in a lifetime, true love everyone's talking about? Julian was it, or at least I thought he was." she sighed, glancing at her reflection on the polished metal panel beside her. "But when things started to go downhill for me, he was the first one to walk out," she paused, taking a deep breath. "By cheating on me."

Gabe's body went rigid, clenching his fists so hard until his nails dug unto his palms. What the fucking hell? I know I should have punched that guy's perfect teeth! He decided against airing his vengeful thoughts, staying quiet as he glimpsed at her image on the walls.

"Joey reminded me how Julian made me doubt myself. If I'm really over what he's done to me, if he's still in my head," she continued, rubbing at her nape. Gabe felt her gaze fall on him, which he reciprocated. "But after walking out from him tonight, I am much more certain that I made it out, after all."

Gabe felt her squeeze his hand as she said those words, and his heart somersaulted inside his chest. "So thanks. I needed that little nudge," she said in finality.

He turned to beam at her as he relished the triumph in her words, hoping that it was enough to convey that he was proud of her. And to be part of that discovery about herself, about who she always was in his eyes - someone who was his equal.

When they arrived at her floor, she gently freed her hand from his grasp invoking a sharp exhale from him. She stepped out of the elevator, her gait as undeterred as ever. But then she turned, her soft expression dimmed by the lack of light. "And while we're on the subject of appreciation," she uttered, before dropping one last revelation.

"Thanks for that save you also gave me ten years ago," Alex glanced up at him with half-lidded eyes, her words laced with meaning.

It took him a few moments before he could even comprehend what she was trying to convey. He searched her eyes for some explanation but found none. "What do you mean, Alex?" he said, managing to find his voice.

"I know exactly who you are, Gabriel Ricci."

With that, the doors slowly closed in front of him, her sly smile fading from his sight until he can only see his own reflection. He examined her last sentence, repeating the words over and over in his head. There was only one plausible explanation: she only knew half of the truth. His body sagged against the wall as he shut his eyes, angry at himself.

No Alex, I think you really don't.

Author's Notes: Thank you for your continued reading! As some of you may have already noticed, this part was written purely in Gabe's POV because I wanted to expose his conflicted feelings for Alex. It's probably my own version of revenge, with PB stretching that slow burn as much as they could 🤭 Share your thoughts in the comments, I'd really appreciate it! 💖

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