#anyways dolly is a queen we love Dolly

[alliswyattonthewesternfront]

watched one of our neighbors take his senior dog, a very sweet pitbull named Dolly, for her regular walk, as the new folks who just moved in let their german shepard bark incessantly and repeatedly hurl his body against the porch door. to her credit, Dolly was completely unfazed by this display of bad manners.

it really stands out bc the dogs in this complex are astonishingly well-behaved. all of the other places i've lived have been filled with the kind of people who tie their dog in the yard 24/7, just transplanted into an apartment complex. i had to mace a neighbor's dog at the last place bc it charged me and 2 little girls on trikes.

but all the dogs here are well behaved little gentlemen. except for the new guy. he better shape up.

[frost-queen]

Colours we aspire to be (Maid!reader x Benedict Bridgerton)

Requested by anon Forever tag:@missmelodramatic, @alex--awesome--22, @ellie-does-the-posts, @floatlosers, @merlieve , @queen-of-books , @glimmering-darling-dolly , @denkisclown , @wildieflower , @meyocoko , @justanothercoco, @subjecta13-thefangirl , @m-rae23 , @harleyquinnswifeyfrfr , @swampything07, @melsunshine , @panhoeofmanyfandoms , @venomsvl , @the-uncoordinated-house-cat , @rosecentury , @imagines-by-her, @evilcr0ne , @vviolynn , @niktwazny303 , @avada-kedavra-bitch-187 , @markive-m, @erikasurfer

Summary: You are Gregory's maid and in no position of getting close to one of the lords at the house. Yet an artistic demand allows colours to explode with love. Growing closer to each other, you fall more in love. Knowing it is wrong. When Violet finds one of his paintings of you, she is over the moon. Her husband not so much, certainly not when his son threatens to run away with you. (apologies I changed it to Gregory instead of baby Eloise since I thought Ben would be too young then.)

“I’m going to get you.” – you called out playfully. Bended a bit through your knees, hands out as you chased after a young Gregory. Little Gregory of two of age, laughed loud, moving as fast as he could, hands bouncing up and down. You walked behind him making sure you weren’t catching him quickly. – “Gregory…” – you said sweetly, calling him over. – “I’m coming to tickle you.” – you teased making Gregory laugh even louder. His laughter filled the hallways. There was an open door as Gregory ran into it. You went after him, grabbing him from behind. – “Got you.” – you said laughing as you pulled him onto your lap. Smothering him with kisses.

“Ben.” – Gregory let out with grabby hands. It made you look up, gasping loud as you were unaware lord Bridgerton was in the room with you. Benedict looked away from his painting to the two of you. Barely fazed by the barge in, turning his gaze to his painting once more. You got up, curtsying deep for him. – “Apologies my lord.” – you said, keeping your gaze to the ground. Straightening your posture once more, you took Gregory’s hand. – “I shan’t disturb you any further.” – you addressed about to take your leave. – “It is quite alright.” – he responded, furrowing his brows at his painting. – “It seems I have lost inspiration anyways.”

Benedict took a step back to admire his painting. Sighing loud as he didn’t like one bit of it. – “I hope inspiration will come to you soon, my lord.” – you bowed to him, ready to take Gregory with you if Benedict hadn’t stopped you. – “Y/n, right?” – he asked not sure if he remembered Gregory’s handmaidens name correctly. – “That I am, my lord.” – you responded. – “Can you come and see what I am doing wrong.” – he asked, leaving room for you to join. His sudden request made you blink surprised.

“My lord I do not believe I will be of much help.” – you told him. – “Come, come.” – Benedict moved a bit closer, reaching his hand out to grab your wrist. You nearly tripped over your own feet when he pulled you closer to the canvas. Gregory having sat himself down to lay on the floor. – “Tell me.” – Benedict gestured at the painting wanting your opinion. You didn’t dare to look at his painting, feeling as if you were overstepping. Benedict took you gently by the chin, moving your face forwards to look. – “I want your honest truth Y/n.” – he took a step back to allow you to see.

You gazed upon the painting, clearly seeing he was indeed missing inspiration. – “What do you think I should do?” – he asked. – “I…I don’t know… my lord.” – you told him, taking a step back. Benedict moved closer to the painting to be able to look at you properly. – “You surely must have some insight? Inspiration or dreams to fill this canvas?” – he wanted to know. – “Girls like myself do not dream.” – you told him honestly. It made Benedict blink in shock. – “You… you surely must.” – he insisted upon. You shook your head to tell him otherwise. – “Everyone has dreams.” – he let out with a laugh.

“I cannot afford dreams, my lord.” – you answered returning to Gregory. You picked him up from the ground, holding him in your arms. Benedict kept staring, watching you leave with Gregory. You returned to the nursery with Gregory. Benedict left his painting for what it was, going downstairs. Edmund was on his way to the drawing room when he saw his son. Quirking his eyebrow up at his son’s expression. – “Is something the matter son?” – he asked. Benedict shook his head thoughtfully. They entered the drawing room together. Anthony sitting with Violet in the sofa’s. A young Eloise playing cards with Colin.

There was a knock on the door as you entered with Gregory. Violet got up, coming over. – “He has been washed and properly bathed, Lady Bridgerton.” – you told her, allowing her to take Gregory from you. Violet nodded, returning with Gregory to Edmund. You wanted to lower your gaze as your eyes locked on Benedict. He clearly was staring at you, a puzzling expression on his face. Quickly lowering your gaze, you left the drawing room. Waiting outside in the hallway till you were called back in again to come and fetch Gregory.

You were putting Gregory to bed, tugging him in when you heard the door creaking open. You just thought it would be Violet or Edmund to give their son a goodnight kiss. – “I’m just putting him to bed, my lady.” – you said out loud, rubbing Gregory over his stomach. You didn’t hear an answer, making you wonder if you misheard the door opening. You turned around, startled by Benedict standing in the nursery with you. The fright made your back hit Gregory’s bed hard. – “My… my apologies Y/n, I didn’t mean to startle you.” – he spoke with a sheepish smile.

“It is quite alright my lord.” – you responded, keeping a hand on your beating heart. Trying to steady it down as there was no danger. You stepped aside for him to say goodnight to Gregory. – “I’ll let you say your goodnights.” – you told him. – “I…I actually came here for you, Y/n.” – Benedict replied making you widen your eyes. – “For… for me?” – Confused you didn’t understood what overcame the lord.

Benedict nodded as you walked away from Gregory. Leaving the room, closing it behind you. Standing in the nursery, you started to collect toys from the ground to clean up. – “I…I came here to talk to you about your…dreams.” – Benedict spoke.

Stopping mid-way, you were stunned. – “My dreams?” – you answered confused. – “I already told you I cannot afford dreams.” – you reminded him, continue to clean up the room. Benedict came nearer, wanting to look at your face. – “But you must have.” – he called out as you turned your posture away from him. – “I do not!” – you made clear, not wanting to engage with it further. Of course you had dreams. You were just taught to never express them. It wasn’t proper for a girl of your station to have dreams. To see the world in a different way for it would only cause heartbreak. Benedict went around you to look at you once more. – “Y/n you can tell me.” – he said as it infuriated you.

“Why are you so interested in whether I have dreams or not?” – you told him, looking him dead in the eye. Benedict swallowed hard, staring into your eyes. – “I am insignificant…” – you added in a softer tone, holding a few of Gregory’s toys. – “Because I can see it in your eyes.” – Benedict spoke, taking a few toys from you. Tossing them into the play chest. His answer made you enlarge your gaze in wonder. – “There is a whole world hiding inside of you.”  – he said. – “There is not.” – you sighed out, tossing the last of the toys in the chest.

Benedict grabbed for your hands as your first reaction was to pull away. Remembering your place all too well. Benedict grabbed them again, lifting them a bit up as you didn’t pull away this time. – “I cannot have dreams.” – you warned him. – “Open yourself up to it Y/n.” – he whispered out, pulling you gently closer to him. Pressing your lips together, shaking your head, you couldn’t give in to it. – “Close your eyes… it will help.” – he told you.

You sighed loud, finding it extremely silly. – “If… and I mean if I let it out, will you stop bothering me?” – you wanted to know as you couldn’t handle his pestering you over silly dreams. – “I can’t promise you that.” – he answered making you want to punch him in the shoulder. – “Who’s to say what your dreams will be?” – he added pulling his shoulders up cheekily. Exhaling loud, you hated yourself for giving into it. You closed your eyes, pulling your hands out of his. Fidgeting a bit with your skirt nervously. – “When I… I close my eyes…” – you started hesitant.

“I see…” – you added, opening your eyes with a deep sigh. – “I cannot do this.” – moving your hands up, you gave up. – “No, no, no Y/n you were doing wonderful.” – Benedict called out, wanting you to continue. – “This is insane.” – you told him. He simply gestured at you to begin anew, moving aside somewhere behind you. Taking in a deep breath, you closed your eyes again. – “Every night…” – you began, biting your lip nervous. – “The brightest colours fill my head.” – you added with a bit more confidence as you could see explosions of colours in your mind. 

“I think of what the world could be, a vision of the one I see. All those dreams for the world I want to make.” – you expressed with passion. Benedict stared at you, envisioning your dreams along. A smile curled up as he felt himself fall in love. Slowly you opened your eyes once more, feeling a bit embarrassed. You were afraid to look at him, wondering what he would think of you. Benedict walked up to you, leaving a quick kiss on your cheek.

“You’ve inspired me.” – was the only thing he said before running out of the nursery. Shocked, you gently touched your cheek where his lips had touched. Benedict ran up to his room, taking out a blank canvas. The entire night he worked. First with pencil, drawing your face from memory. Then the colours came. Staining his fingers as he blessed the canvas with wonders of colours behind you. As if the colours were bursting out of you. For the world you were going to make.

The next morning, you were startled when Benedict burst into the nursery. Panting loud. The first thing you noticed was the paint smudges on his fingers and face. – “You must come with me.” – he said, rushing up to you. He grabbed your wrist, pulling you up from the ground. Already tugging at you to come along. You protested a bit as Gregory still sat on the ground. – “Gregory, my lord!” – you said firm, pulling yourself free. You couldn’t leave him alone. Picking Gregory up, Benedict took you by the elbow, taking you along.

“My lord you promised to leave me alone.” – you told him as it wasn’t your place to be this close to him. – “I promised no such thing.” – he reminded you with a charming smile. You panicked a bit, hoping no one would see you. Benedict wanted to push you into his room as you gasped loud. Holding one hand firm onto the door opening, not wanting to enter any further. – “I cannot!” – you made clear, holding Gregory on your arm. – “You must.” – Benedict called out, pushing on your back to get you into his room.

“My lord I cannot.” – you tried to make him see, holding your position with every might. Benedict sighed deep, tickling you under your arm. It made you laugh, removing your arm from the frame as he could push you inside. You stumbled into his room, holding Gregory tight in your embrace. Benedict shut his door, approaching you. You blinked surprised when he took Gregory from you. Giving him a soft kiss against his cheek before setting him down. – “Go play Gregory.” – he said giving him a little pat on the back.

“Drawing?” – Gregory called out. Benedict collected some paper and pencils, laying it onto the floor for him to use. You hoped he had forgotten about you, yet he hadn’t. Benedict held his hand on your lower back, moving his hand before your eyes. – “My lord!” – you yelped out as you felt him push you forwards. Hands waving around as you hated stumbling in the dark. He positioned you in front of the painting. Removing his hand. It took you a moment to adjust your sight. Eyes widening with a gasp at the painting.

In shock, you turned round to him as he stood very close behind you. Blinking bashful, you stared into his eyes from how up close he was. – “You are my muse Y/n.” – he said moving his hand up against your cheek. Shocked by the touch, you stumbled back against the painting. Panicking as it started to wobble, but you quickly steadied it. You were afraid to turn back around, knowing you would get lost in his gaze. Something you weren’t allowed to do. – “My lord I must go.” – you said firm, stepping away from the painting. You felt a grip on your shoulder, making you spin around to him. Putting your spinning to a stop with both his hands around your arms.

You wanted to look away, but those eyes were enough to make you fall in love. Fall in love with someone you weren’t supposed to. Feeling yourself drawn to him as he made you dream. Dream of this beyond your control. Aware of what you were doing, you shook your head. Backing away. – “No… I can’t do this.” – you said returning to Gregory. – “For you.” – Gregory said, holding up his drawing as you picked him up. – “Y/n.” – Benedict called out as you took a run for it.

He reached his hand out to you, moving it up resting it closed against his forehead with a deep sigh. You hurried back to the nursery with Gregory hoping no one had seen you come out of the lord’s bedroom. Panting loud, you reached the nursery, closing the door behind you. Gregory held his drawing in front of your face, waving it to get your attention. – “What is this Gregory?” – you asked with a smile.

“For you.” – Gregory said as you accepted it. – “My lords, Gregory this is beautiful.” – you told him with a gasp. – “And it is all for me?” – you walked around the nursery with him. – “Like Ben?” – he asked you. It caught you off guard for a moment. – “As beautiful as your brother’s paintings.” – you told him, giving him a kiss against his forehead.

Benedict slowly opened the door, peaking his head inside the nursery. Looking around for any sign of life. Specially yours. – “Are you in here?” – Benedict whispered ready to enter more if it wasn’t for his brother’s voice startling him. – “What are you doing?” – Anthony asked with crossed arms. Benedict jumped out of his skin, turning quickly around, closing the door in the process. – “Lo…looking for Gregory?” – Benedict replied with a sheepish laugh.

Anthony quirked his eyebrow up. – “Gregory is in the garden with Daphne and Eloise.” – Anthony answered him. – “And… and his maiden too?” – Benedict asked, knowing it might be a dangerous question. It sure made his brother look questionable at him. – “Why is it of any significance if his maiden is around?” – Anthony wanted to know, moving his hands to his hip. – “Nothing for.” – Benedict replied, clearing his throat afterwards. – “I’ll… I’ll just go paint.” – he spoke making his way past Anthony. Anthony watching his brother leave with a quizzable brow. Unable to grasp whatever his brother possessed.

Benedict decided to take the long route to his quarters, hoping to encounter you. He passed his sisters room as the door was open. He paused, staring inside. Eyes locking on yours while you were making up the bed with another girl. You noticed him as well, staring back at him. He curled up a smile at you. You granted him a soft smile back before returning your gaze to your duties.

Benedict knew he should move, but he couldn’t help but keep staring. Watching you make up the bed. Whenever he looked at you, he felt inspired. Wanting to combine his dreams with yours. The girl and you finished up, leaving the room. Benedict moved aside to let you leave. The girl curtsied before him before taking off. You did the same wanting to follow her when you felt a grip on your wrist.

Taking a step back, you looked down at his hand around your wrist. Eyes meeting up with his, you knew it was wrong. Pulling your hand away, you broke free. – “My lord, you mustn’t let yourself get carried away. It is wrong.” – you told him. What would his family think. What would his reputation be after this.

“Y/n… please…” – he said reaching for you once more. – “I… I have to get back to work.” – you finalised taking your leave. Pressing your lips together, you stopped yourself from crying. Knowing you were letting yourself get carried away by these feelings. So caught up in the colours. You dove back in your work, trying to push Benedict out of your head. Preparing Gregory’s bath up in the nursery.

Hearing the door creak open, you had little time to react as you got spun around. Seeing in the flash of a second that it was Benedict as he pressed his lips on yours. Holding you firm by your waist. Using your elbows, you pushed him off. Touching your lips in shock. – “My lord!” – you shouted. – “You mustn’t. Think of your reputation. People like me don’t belong with people like you.” – you remined him. It was just unseen.

“I do not care.” – he breathed out with a shake of his head. – “Every piece of you fits perfectly. Why can’t you hold me? Why can’t I kiss you? I wish it could be like that.” – he said beggingly. – “I don’t want to hide it away. I wish we can be just us. Why can’t I say that I am in love? Every time I see you and cannot be with you, I die a little.” – he finished confessing. - “We know this, my lord.” – you responded with a saddened expression. –“It cannot be like this.” – turning your head away, you didn’t want to give in to it. Benedict turned your gaze back to him. – “I decide what I want and it is you, Y/n.” – he whispered out before kissing you once more.

Violet was humming a song whilst passing the rooms. Benedict’s room open as het gaze fell on something colourful. Her curiosity took the better of her, making her enter the room. Eager to see what her artistic son has been painting. Violet gasped at the glorious painting. It took her a moment to recognize the face. Looking down, her gaze fell on another drawing. Bending down, she took it, seeing it was another drawing of you. Then she found two, three more. A smile curling up on her face.

“Violet darling?” – Edmund called out from the hallway. Searching for his wife. Edmund noticed his wife in his sons room, entering as well. – “What are you doing in here?” – he asked smiling. Edmund came to her side, looking over her shoulder to Benedict’s drawings. His eyes widened, snatching the drawing out of his wife’s hand. – “What is this?” – he called out. 

“It’s Y/n, Gregory’s maiden.” – Violet answered with a smile. – “This is…” – Edmund began. – “wonderful.” – Violet filled in for him. – “Horrendous!” – Edmund corrected her, crumbling the drawing in his hand. – “Benedict!” – he shouted loud, stomping out of his room. – “Edmund!” – Violet came running after her husband with worry. – “Benedict!” – he repeated loud.

The door to the nursery opened as the door slammed into the wall. Startled, moved Benedict away from you. Edmund furious as he grabbed you by the wrist, pulling hard on you. You screamed, falling to your knees by him. – “Let her go!” – Benedict called out. Edmund presented Benedict with the crumbled drawing in his hand. – “Are you in love with a maid?” – he wanted to know. – “What is the matter?” – Anthony came joining the scene, having heard the commotion.

“Edmund let her go!” – Violet insisted upon. Edmund inhaled sharp through his nose, letting go of you. Violet ushered you over as you ran over to her. Falling onto your knees as you collapsed into her embrace. – “No son of mine is loving a maid!” – Edmund made clear. – “Benedict!” – Anthony called out, agreeing with his father onto this.

“Edmund that is enough! Our son can love who he wants.” – Violet responded to make her statement clear. – “I’ll have her dismissed!” – he threatened. – “It doesn’t matter what you’ll do, father.” – Benedict responded with a glare. – “I’ll run away with her and marry her. I’ll make sure you won’t find us and you’ll never see us again!”

“Edmund!” – Violet shouted to make things clear to her husband. – “Look at the drawing.” – she ordered him as Edmund refused. – “Look at the drawing!” – she repeated while comforting you. Edmund flattened the drawing, looking at it with an annoyed expression. – “Tell me that is not pure love you see. Don’t we aspire for our children to love for love. No matter where she comes from or her status. Our son loves her, isn’t that the greatest gift anyone can give their parents?” – Violet said, defending you at every might.

“Father.” – Anthony said not wanting his father to change his mind. Edmund sighed loud, dropping the drawing. – “Love her with every might.” – he told him before taking his leave. A sign of him accepting the relationship. – “Father?” – Anthony called after his father, leaving the room. Benedict looked over to his mother, thanking her. She let go of you, giving you a little nudge into his direction. Smiling hard, you ran up to Benedict, throwing your arms around him. He spun you around, overjoyed that he could finally love you like he wanted to.

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Read more of my fics on my Masterlists!

[gmanwhore]

I saw someone do this but uh. My TNMN ships but I assign all of them song lyrics. Yippee.

Roman x Lois

Roman: "Nothing in the world belongs to me/but my love is mine all mine all mine" (My Love, Mine All Mine)

Lois: "My sweetheart's piano is rat filled/and mine is infested with bugs/though the music we make is unnatural/it sounds just like falling in love" (Butch 4 Butch by Rio Romeo)

Gloria x Arnold

Gloria: "What if when he sees me/I like him and he knows it?/What if he opens up a door/and I can't close it? (What If He Sees Me from Waitress)

Arnold: "We fit together like the ignition and the key/and you're safe and sound with me" (Safe and Sound by Hawksley Workman)

Nacha x Francis

Nacha: "Just one look and I can heat a bell ring/One more look and I forget everything" (Mamma Mia by ABBA)

Francis: "Say you're still her/The woman you were/and you haven't turned into/Someone who could never love me again" ((Cover This Song) Just a Little Bit Mine by Will Wood)

Selenne x Margarette x Nacha

Margarette: "Gonna do my very best, baby can't you see/Gotta put me to the test, take a chance on me" (Take a Chance by ABBA)

Nacha: "Where do you get off/being so god damn beautiful?/Oh lord!/Don't ask me what I mean" (White Knuckle Jerk (Where Do You Get Off?) by Wil Wood)

Selenne: "No, I'm not falling for you/so, please have mercy on me" (Despair by Leo)

Steven x Francis 2/Scarlet Milkman

Steven: "I don't care what they say about us anyways/I don't care 'bout that" (Buddy Holly by Weezer)

Francis 2: "Kiss me until my lips are bruised/till there's blood pooled all around our shoes/hold me tight within your arms/till my ribs are shattered and deformed!" (English translation of Suki Suki Daisuke by Jun Togawa)

Francis x Mclooy

Francis: "One last kiss/I need you like I need a gaping head wound" (Love You Like an Alcoholic by The Taxpayers)

Mclooy: "And I said oh gosh golly you should call your pops probably/or get the cops on me" (Bad Vibes by That Handsome Devil

Izaack x Robertsky x Elenois (Izzack and Elenois are dating Robertsky separately he has two hands)

Izzack: "They're telling you the same things that I planned to say/I thought I was unique/maybe I'm not that way" (I Wanna Be Your Boyfriend by Hot Freaks)

Robertsky: "Hold me, I'm your bunny/tell me I'm not funny/tell me I'm legit" (Puppy Princess by Hot Freaks)

Elenois: "Hey, boy, where do you get it from?/hey, boy, where did you go?/I learned my passion in the good old-fashioned school of lover boys" (Good ol' Loverboy by Queen)

Lois x Rafttellyn

Lois: "When you wake up next to him in the middle of the night/with your head in your hands, you're nothing more than his wife/and when you think about me, all of those years ago/you're standing face to face with "I told you so"/you know I hate to say, "I told you so"/you know I hate to say, but, I told you so" (Good Luck, Babe by Chappell Roan)

Rafttellyn: "I had to have this talk with you/my happiness depends on you/and whatever you decide to do" (Jolene by Dolly Parton)

This next one is something I don't actually ship but they are in fics I'm writing so like

Izaack x Angus x Francis (Angus is cheating on Izzack with Francis and on Francis with Izaack)

Izzack: "And the more that I am in pain, the more that you'll gain/and to me, that seems like a pretty fair trade/you bite, my nervous system ignites/the tormenting spite, sacrifices must be made" (Misery Meat by Sodikken)

Angus: "You're the only one who's making me come/to my sinful senses/I'll never love anyone the same/I'll never feel ashamed of using you for pleasure" (Using You by Mars Argo)

Francis: Go on and step on me/you're free to have everything you can see/all that you want from me/you're free to be all that you want to be/do what you want with me" (Step on Me by The Cardigans)

[george228732]

Fylass In Wonderland - Chapter Eleven - Domains of the Heart (TW: MENTIONS OF MENTAL DISORDERS)

The trees were Crimson Queens, and the path was filled with red roses; the first things Fylass and Dolly were able to see in this place, that seemed to be the edge of Wonderland, or, well, the end of the Wonderland that Fylass was determined to keep going for, since they could clearly see villages on the distance, but the kid had enough of walking to get here; they maybe didn’t notice it, but their feet were hurting to no end, from all of that running from the regulars’ hold, or from running from Genesis, or for walking down an entire kingdom just to get here. "...This is it… I can see the castle…" Fylass said, and indeed, the Card Castle was there, looking oddly similar to a castle on the skies that was home of a certain cloud queen they know well thanks to a visit they had.

"...I think I know who the Queen is…"

"Eh? You do, best friend?"

"...I got a feeling I know who she might look like… But we better figure it out-... Wait, who’s there?"

There was an individual right next to the other two, and they seemed to be painting white roses red with small paint brushes, if that even made sense. Fylass tried to focus on seeing them properly, and they realized their identities, as they noticed the kids as well.

"Oh? Who’s there?" One of the individuals said, as they ran towards Fylass cheerfully. The kid tried to walk away, but was eventually reached by the individual, only to confirm their suspicions on who they were....

"Hello there, pal! How are you today?" Said the individual…

"...Twilight… You are here too."

"And you know my name? That’s lovely! And you’re the club too?! That’s amazing! The Queen has been looking everywhere for you! She would be so happy to see you at last!" Twilight said; he seemingly was one of the Queen’s servants, and he also seemed like someone with not too many brain cells on their head. 

"Er, Twilight Knight? Why were you going faster than light?" The second guard said, as they approached to the knight, and Fylass realized it was Verin.

"Oh! How are you doing, child? What are you doing here in the wild?" Verin said, in rhymes.

"Uh… Hello there?"

"Greetings as well, possible them!" She said, as she realized Fylass’s Club eyes, and the last individual came to see the area. 

"Alright, alright, what are ye doing around here? You should be painting the flowers, not wandering around to see some kid that is probably just lost." The last knight of the group said, and… 

"Ava?"

"Hm, you know my name, that’s unusual, anyways, what are you looking for-... Club?!" Ava realized who they were talking to in the first place; the individual The Queen was looking for for a while at this point. "Dear lord! You finally appear! Although I don’t see the knights I commanded, where are they?"

"Huh? Knights? I didn’t see any knights around here…"

"Hm… That’s odd… Did they get stuck drinking tea back at the Hatter’s house or something?" Fylass seemed to know what they were talking about, and considering their conversation, Fylass could only expect the best results, and that they did escape the area they were stuck in.

"...Oh well, not that it matters now that you’re here. Let me escort you to the castle." Ava said, as the other two knights were staring; one with joy, and the other with slight concern, and Dolly, hidden behind Fylass, was nervous, and Fylass knew why; to be honest, they were nervous too, but they had to find a way home, and The Queen seemed to be the only individual that could help, but knowing who she might be, Fylass only could hope that she was on her good side today…

"...Sure…" Fylass said. "Come on, Dolly, let’s go…" Dolly was nervous, but she grabbed Fylass’ hand, and went step by step with them, and the knights, to the entrance of the Castle, only to see a gate that blocked the way, and it was locked.

"Er… Twilight Knight, use the key to open the gate."

"...Uh… I think it’s in Dull Glass now… I accidentally dropped it behind one of the couches, and I couldn’t find it…"

"Oh come on…"

"...Is it this key?" Fylass said, as they silently told Dolly to give them the key they found in Dull Glass, along with those strange papers they found along the candles. 

"...Yes, it is the one… Thank god you had it…" Ava said as they took the key away from Fylass, and opened the gate, and afterwards, the door of the Castle was opened, and it was beautiful, even though it could be confusing, with only seeing colors of black and red in left, right, and center.

"Wow… I’ve never seen so much red in one place only…"

"...Our Queen has… interesting tastes…" Twilight said, trying to be as nice as possible.

"Well, if I am being honest to you, Club, this Castle has always been like that since the beginning, and we know that thanks to one of our soldiers, that kept living for years and years, approximately 90,000 years old." Fylass found some sort of familiarity to those words, but it was sure that they hadn't heard something that specific before, but at this point, anything might be possible.

The three knights, along with Fylass and Dolly, used the nearby stairs of the Castle to get to the top floor; Fylass tried to check the other places of the castle, but the other knights wouldn’t let them do that, although it was clear that Twilight Knight would be more than willing to do so. Each floor seemed to have a certain theme though, having a different color and aesthetic. The first floor had a dark blue aesthetic, with a locked door, and a spade symbol above; the second floor had a purple aesthetic, with another locked door, and a diamond symbol above; and the third floor had a golden aesthetic, with yet another locked door, and a club symbol above it. 

"...Could you please let me explore the Castle, please…?"

"I am sorry, Club, but we can’t let you do that, since you need to meet The Queen first." Fylass and Dolly were really nervous, but they tried to have a straight face for it, for obvious reasons, and after a lot of steps, the group got to the top floor.

The end of the stairs led to a red room that had some furniture fitting for the area, and a red door, with the heart symbol above. 

"Could you give me the key of red? I don’t want to be left on read." Verin said to Ava, trying to convince them to give her the key to the door.

"Alright, I guess it is your turn on this one." Ava did give her the key to her to open said door, and she seemed happy, thankful even, for some reason. The key was inserted on the door, and opened side by side, to reveal a set of hallways on the sides, and on the center, a red throne with golden frames was in place, right in front of a window that showed the night sky that seemed to never end. Fylass was impressed, and they would’ve taken a better look to their surroundings, if they didn’t notice someone sitting at the throne, drinking a purple-ish liquid from a well polished cup of tea.

Her looks were beautiful, with a red and black dress on the sides, a golden crown, hair with the same colors as the dress, and a small wand with a heart shape on the end of it; it was clear who she was though, when she opened her eyes to see the group, revealing eyes with irises red as crimson, and white pupils with the shape of a heart.

"Oh, you are here, have you finished painting the roses red?" She said, with a voice as gentle as could be, but still managed to send chills down Fylass’ and especially Dolly’s spines; Dolly, deep down knew that this was necessary for her best friend to find their home, but she couldn’t help but being nervous, at the point where she didn’t even dare to speak up.

"Negative, Queen, but the reason for that is that we finally have found the person you have requested us to look for." 

The Queen, seemingly curious to see what they were referring to, looked at the other two individuals standing beside the knights, and kept direct eye contact with Fylass, and she realized who was right in front of her.

"Goodness Gracious! The Club is right in front of me! This is more than I was expecting from you!" The Queen declared. "Go on! I would ask for you to leave, since you did a great job-..." She seemed to notice the doll right behind Fylass. "Oh, who are you, little girl?"

"T-This is Dolly, Her Queen…"

"Hm, okay. Guards, could you please escort her out of the castle? I will be talking with the Club for a little while." 

The knights quickly obeyed her orders, and did as such, with Dolly slowly getting out of the room, with a sad, and nervous face, since she knew that they might not meet each other again, since Fylass will probably just go home, and not see her again…

The door closed behind her, as she and the knights left.

"Oh, I have been waiting for AGES to have a talk with you, Club, you have no idea…" The Queen said.

"...I-It’s nice to meet you at last too, Queen Somnia…" Fylass knew who she was, since they saw her before, and yet, they knew that this Somnia wasn’t the one they remembered; from what they’ve heard from this adventure, she isn’t the nicest individual…

"...You know my name, you surely have manners, hm?" Fylass couldn’t tell if that statement was made from kindness, or malice, but they were too nervous to try and ask. 

"Either way, you have permission to wander towards my place; I will prepare a dinner for us to speak more calmly, for I have manners to discuss with you, after all of this time." Queen Somnia spoke again. "I’ll see you in a couple of minutes." Fylass saw her leaving to a specific room on the left hallway, and at this point, they weren’t going to follow her.

"...Guess I’ll have to wait for dinner if I want her to help me find a way out…" Fylass thought, as they silently left the area, to explore the right hallway.

Many doors on the sides, but Fylass wasn’t able to open them; they didn’t seem locked but if the door was fused with the wall; many drawers and more on the hallway, but Fylass never dared to get close to them, for they feared they might break something. They were anxious, but also sad, since they couldn’t even say goodbye to the people they’ve known in this land; even if they weren’t the ones they remembered, Fylass still holds them deeply into their heart.

After a while though, the little penguin could catch a glimpse of a door that wasn’t closed, leading to a dark room. Fylass thought that it would be a way out, somehow, so they took a peek in; only to see piles and piles of paper on the ground and walls.

"...What…?" Fylass didn’t want to enter the room, but at the same time, they felt lured in, like a hug from a creature made of ice, with a sense of warmth in that land of frosted cold, so they entered.

The darkness was almost palpable, with a sense of dread lurking in the pitch black room that seemingly had no end; voices whispering unintelligible nonsense, like a toddler trying to say their first words to their parent; after that, more steps were made towards the darkness, as a sound of someone seemingly banging something towards a wall, as Fylass saw blue-ish feathers scattered on the floor, along with what seemed to be little drops of blood, as they heard a voice; their voice, crying painfully, somewhere on the room.

"W-What is happening?! Why is this replaying-" Fylass suddenly found the end of the room, as they managed to see another medical report on the wall, and this time, everything was readable.

"The following is an early observation that I, XXXXXX XXXXX, made on your child, Fylass Paragon Astralio, after the recent termination of xxxxxx xxxxx, two weeks ago, which was a very hard investigation due to the lack of motivation the child had when trying to get out of his room, but this is what I found:

The patient is going through a severe case of hysteria, along with depression with symptoms like constantly changing mood, painful crying, among other unnerving issues. The problem went worse however, since this last week, the symptoms have gotten from seizures with unknown origin, banging his head towards a concrete wall at the point of it starting to crack, to plucking out their own feathers in fits of rage.

Amongst all of this, he seemingly is going through symptoms very similar to the ones of lunacy and schizophrenia, since from what I could gather from his words, he was hearing XXXXXX's voice everywhere he was looking. The last day I tried to check on him was even worse, since they were starting to play around with knives along with some other dangerous equipment in the kitchen, and somehow managed to pierce through the walls of it.

This is not mocking matters anymore, XXXX XXXXXXXXX, since this plan of yours is starting to become something incredibly disturbing, and I know perfectly what is going to happen and you, sir, don't listen to me, although you never do, sadly.

What can I only hope for, is that you act fast. In all regards,

XXXXXX XXXXX, Mental Health Department."

Fylass stood still, and immediately after, they felt as if their body shut down, falling face flat on the floor, and the last thing they were able to hear was a soft giggle, and footsteps coming near them…

Dolly was now outside, feeling sad, and at the verge of tears, for seemingly losing their best friend, and was about to leave. "Maybe Dolly could try to go to the circus to feel better…" She said, but she quickly heard someone coming towards her. It was Lucid.

"...Huh? Porcelain man? What are you doing here?"

"...Where’s Fylass?"

"...Well… they’re up there, with the Queen…"

"...Oh no, we need to act fast."

"...What do you mean? We’re the only ones here."

Dolly didn’t seem to realize something, that there were people below Lucid’s hat, so Lucid took it off to reveal small versions of Chaos, Kurabe, Fettuccine along with a small mirror, Mikuto, Pleiades, Blossom, Genesis, Damian, Fela, Soliera, and the Cheshire cats.

"Oh. But wait, what’s going on? Dolly thought that-"

"Listen, we need to act fast, the world is shattering, and we need to save Fylass before it’s too late."

"W-What?!"

"...I understand that you might be confused on the matter, doll, but it’s best if we keep on going before the clock ticks." Said another voice behind Lucid, and when Dolly took a peek to see who was the one talking, she realized that it was Singularity, along with Wisp, the latter not wanting to speak.

"...Dolly doesn’t know what happens but… If her best friend is in danger…"

"...Dolly will save them."

@ilikesillythingswooo

@avathestarwarrior

@that-fanperson-meg

@theflutteringdreameater

@the-chaos-axolotl

@moon-mage

@wyverewings

@stardustshimmer

@loaflovesdoodling

@lostsoulau-ask

@floweyjoestar

@galakianexplosion

@kachikirby

@den-of-the-blue-dragon

@mossyriverrocks

[yandere-fics]

Oh man... I love zombie apocalypse talk... and combining it with Yandere's??? Heaven.

Anyway time for zombie apocalypse headcanons, thank you for summoning this into my brain.

Nora is a beast. An absaloute fucking beast. She takes on 50 zombies at once and walks out fine. The stress of the apocalypse brings out her true nature, maybe darling gets bitten so she ties you up in rope and chains so she can keep you forever - zombie or not.

Miriel is dying. I'm sorry Miri but I don't think she'd have it in her. 2 weeks tops before she gets bitten. The infection probably takes an agonisingly long time to take over though if she's surrounded by nature. Maybe if you bury her in the forest she'll be purified. Or she'll just come back stronger.

Runa is lasting a somewhat long time but will probably get bit and turn from doing something stupid. Her tantrums would probably attract zombies all the time as well.

Eliza is dying. Not because she gets bit, but because she kept eating zombies and infected herself that way. Zombie Eliza chasing you down in wolf form would be terrifying.

Sawyer is. Y'know. Sawyer. But if we wanna have fun with it, she'd probably end up making a safe haven for survivors to take refuge in, basically a sequel to the city.

Kassien is wooping so much ass. Imagine her in her binder caving zombies heads in, dripping with sweat as she protects you. Mmf.

Idek what Nikki would do. She's a wildcard.

Theanna has a castle to hole up in and an army to defend her. She's keeping you safe no matter what, if anything happens to her queen, everyone taking refuge in the castle will be cast out.

Abigail is obviously never getting bit. She's too badass for that. Don't worry my lady, I'll deal with all the blood and guts so you can stay nice and pretty <3

Pauline is gonna get bitten I fear. She's going to make a blunder and realise she's going to turn, she begs you to stay with her until the end, all of her fake cruelty dissapears in her final days. She just wants you to be with her, even as she begins to crave that delicious flesh on your neck.

Raphael is going to do the same thing as Eliza and infect herself. I can see her locking darling away in a sealed room to keep you safe, she knows she will crave your flesh when she turns, so you have to stay in here, forever and always. If you ask her why SHE doesn't lock herself away, it's because she's too scared of you being eaten by someone else. It has to be her.

Elisha is obviously kicking so much ass it's not even funny. Zombies are nothing compared to dragons, so why not throw a little spice into the mix - her darling gets bitten and she's in total denial. Every day you turn a little more and beg her to kill you but she refuses, saying she will find you a cure to turn you back. She WILL save you no matter what it takes.

Veronia I wanna have fun with. Obviously she's not going to get infected, she has scales. BUT. Imagine if she did. A terrifying zombie dragon hunting you down because you smell so much better than all the others, and you would make the most divine meal. (I like to think dragons are so powerful they retain most of their intelligence after turning, as opposed to dumb dumb humans)

Ainsley started the apocalypse, let's be real here.

Skye is dying. I'm sorry but she lasts 4 days at the most, oddly enough however, she's more docile than most zombies.

Darla is leading a scavengers group. She starts up her own little paradise and boasts having full control. Queen bee of the apocalypse.

Sophie is going to be Darla's second in command. Basically her enforcer, bashing in zombie heads and making sure everyone in the settlement is well behaved. I like to think her and Darla share a darling, who's some scared ill-prepared survivor who just so happened to stumble upon their settlement. "You can never leave us dolly, I've seen what they do to pretty girls like you out there."

Ella is also getting turned, but whereas zombie Skye is docile, zombie Ella is feral. She already liked biting now it's her full time job.

-girlfailure 🧟‍♀️

The only thing I would change is I think Miriel would get close to the forest instantly and if you got bit she would be able to naturally purify herself with the elf stuff.

mmmm tank Nora, I love it soo much.

[briskunt]

honestly? yeah I would believe you

oh hell ya bc i am surprisingly passionate about this

i’m going to be real i understand vtubing is mostly based on idols, right? but i feel like the designs of models and how hard people lean into them is very reminiscent of drag artistry because of how impossible they are irl. i regularly see fuufuuchan in different appearances or presentations—legatus, archivist, alan, all forms of ovidia just to start—and like, the experimentation of gender and presentation through different characters itches something in my head that screams character comedy king a la jarvis hammer

and it goes on too. it’s very easy to see gavis bettel as a drag king. ironmouse as a fashion queen due to her many models. i see vtubers regularly drop music, do dances once they’re 3d/on games, y’all’re two lip syncs away from a pageant sometimes i swear

of course there’s intersections as well like ike and aia being drag race fans. i love seeing those two and their interpretation of gender! because vtuber models allow fashion that wouldn’t be possible in real life as WELL as the divide between the real world (flesh) and digital (vtuber) it allows a lot of room for people to be glamorous and interpret or critique gender (and other subjects) through that. for example ike’s crossdressing in flesh and in his vrchat model isn’t with an agenda in mind but makes his audience reconsider what their own definition of masculinity is. aia’s latest outfit is very inspired by magical girls and more specifically the military (style!!!) influence of their outfits and that goes hand in hand with how the lore associated can very easily be considered a statement on mental and physical disability. and so performing her own gender in an outfit that is influenced by the magical girl genre (which gets pretty sapphic pretty fast), military style (which alludes to strength, obedience, vigilance, etc), and invisible disability is So drag dude

hm. maybe i should make a post on aia’s lore and disability idk

anyways one of those two does his own thing regardless of heteronormative rules of gender because he wants to, not because there’s any underlying message about it, and that is a valid and real performance of gender. the other has a story associated with a look that bends heteronormative gender and advocates for a cause, and that is a valid and real performance of gender. and considering how drag is ultimately a critique of gender as well as society, people, etc through gender presentation, ya. they’re doing drag

i’m a believer that lip syncs are the foundation of drag but not a requirement. drag is fundamentally entertainment in general. so that’s how you get drag artists like divine who was mostly an actress but also did music. i’d also argue chappell roan, orville peck, lady gaga, lil nas x and dolly parton also fall under the umbrella of drag bc of how they incorporate their appearance into performance, and ofc bc they were also inspired by drag

so like, when i see unnämed’s 3d debut, what is fundamentally different from adore delano singing and playing music in drag. at some point we have to recognize things like changing colors, flame effects, etc are all extremes that contribute to an overall Look

and i won’t lie, i don’t have a lot of accessible drag near me so boulet brothers’ dragula is my favorite show. so we see artists in all sorts of entertainment fields: music, stand-up, stunts, fashion, acting, dance, merchandising, modeling, comedy, art, hell even ttrpgs. i can think of more than a few vtubers that have done or regularly do these things. if you dig biqtch puddin’s digital drag show streams then boy do i have news for you, as well as the many other drag artists that do youtube or streams

and if you REALLY want to get into the gender theory of it all then porcelainmaid is RIGHT THERE.

if you see drag artistry as putting on a character then doppio dropscythe, vox akuma, twisty amanozako, fulgur ovid, and pretty much every holo vtuber would count (and to a lesser degree every corporate vtuber)

if you see drag artistry as an element of an entertainer’s performance then mori calliope, finana ryugu, ren zotto, aster arcadia and uki violeta would count

if you see drag artistry as aesthetic/style of the person behind the screen then k9kuro, quinn benet’s vtuber model, cyyu, randon neuring, and porcelainmaid would count

but the point i’m trying to get at here is that drag blends appearance and entertainment together by satirizing or emphasizing gender, right? and that can be entertaining through all sorts of mediums which includes standard vtuber activities like streams. of course it’s up to the vtuber themself to declare themself a drag artist or not but if i woke up tomorrow and saw gawr gura added “bio queen” to her twitter bio i… really would not be surprised

so if someone could edit the “after a long night of hooking” audio on top of zali’s debut lore i’d appreciate it

[gerogerigaogaigar]

Dolly Parton - Coat Of Many Colors

The 70s weren't particularly kind to country music, but Dolly Parton stands out as a shining beacon amidst a fog of mediocrity. The title track is a beautiful story about a mother's love that is apparently a true story from Parton's childhood. From there we immediately get a song where the singer's mother steals her boyfriend. It kinda goes like that, either beautiful sincere tracks like Coat Of Many Colors and Here I Am, or unrelenting savagery like in Traveling Man and If I Lose My Mind. I would never have it any other way. Go off queen.

Tracy Chapman - s/t

Ready for some emotional devastation? This album comes out the gate swinging and doesn't let up. This album's theme is feeling helpless to change your circumstances. Fast Cars is about trying to run away from a toxic environment only to recreate it. Behind The Walls is about being unable to stop domestic abuse even when you know it's happening. Mountains Of Things is about being trapped by commodity fetishism despite knowing it won't help you. In all these songs systems prevent individuals from improving their lives. The message is nothing without the actual substance of the music though, so it's fortunate that Chapman has one of the best and richest voices I've ever heard. And her brand of folk rock is beautifully complimentary. Lefty music doesn't get much better than this.

Bob Dylan - Freewheelin' Bob Dylan

It may be his second album, but this is his real debut. Bob Dylan proved that you could be a shitty singer, mediocre guitarist, and atrocious harmonica player, but if put together the right way then the sum of the parts is worth so much more. Dylan's combination of traditional folksy numbers like Girl From North Country and Don't Think Twice It's All Right are matched with the political statements that made him a counterculture icon. Masters Of War may seem blunt and obvious by today's standards, but it's stark condemnation of war mongering politicians is still pretty brutal. And A Hard Rains A-Gonna Fall is proof of his ability to write lyrics that express abstract feelings rather than direct thoughts.

Herbie Hancock - Head Hunters

I feel like when people think of jazz they don't tend to think of catchy toe tappers. There's an expectation for it to be a fairly serious genre that is hard to "get". Herbie Hancock threw that idea right out the window when he made Head Hunters the most fun jazz album of all time. The funk influences are extremely apparent with each track featuring an extremely punchy drum beat and juicy fucking bass lines that will get permanently stuck in your head. Everyone is nailing it here but obviously Hancock himself is the star player with his electric piano and clavinet solos having the brightest and bubbliest tone I've ever heard and it just cuts through the mix and delivers pure joy to your ears. Without a doubt one of my favorite albums of all time.

Pink Floyd - Piper At The Gates Of Dawn

When I was in high school one of my friends just fucking loved the song Bike and sometimes we would just burst into it whenever or wherever. Like all of walking somewhere and we'd just start up like "IVE GOT A BIKE YOU CAN RIDE IT IF YOU LIKE!" full fucking volume like a bunch of animals. Anyway this album is fanciful as all hell. Gnomes, scarecrows, bikes, kitty cats named Lucifer Sam, and bedtime stories. This album is delightful. It exudes innocent joy like no other album. Songs like Astronomy Domine and Interstellar Overdrive sound spacey not because they sound peaceful like floating in space but explosive like a rocket taking off. Other tracks will sound like campfire songs. It's beautiful. The end of Bike where the album closes out on a disjointed series of cacophonous clanking was my first introduction to noise as music so that song probably ruined me permanently.

Devo - Q: Are We Not Men? A: We Are Devo!

One of the original punk bands even if you wouldn't normally think of them as such. Devo did everything in their power to be weird little freaks. Jerky, stuttery guitars and rigid drum beats all designed to sound as mechanical as possible. It an amazing achievement that is perfectly exemplified by their awkward but brilliant cover of the Rolling Stones' Satisfaction. There's a general sense of 50s rock and roll filtered through the 'came back wrong' trope. The album lumbers along like it's made of de evolved rock music.

Elton John - Honky Château

This is probably Elton John's most cohesive album. The country rock of Tumbleweed Connection meets the dramatic arrangements of Madman Across The Water. John's songwriting partner Bernie Taupin is also at the top of his game on this one. Obviously everyone loves Rocket Man, it's iconic for a reason, by good god is the song I Think I'm Going To Kill Myself funny. I'm serious, this tongue and cheek song about teenage angst is one of the funniest things I've ever heard. I'm kinda blown away at how good Elton John, a British man, is at doing honky tonk and country music too. Too talented of a guy really. Love this album.

[medusasbush]

read in february 2023

articles (ones behind a paywall are linked through webpage archive):

I'm Intersex. Here's How I Have Sex.

What Is a Nepotism Baby Anyway? (reminded me of the hollywood inbreeding 101 portion of Carrie FIsher's Wishful Drinking)

Your Stuff is Actually Worse Now: How the cult of consumerism ushered in an era of badly made products.

If You Think Tacos Aren't Healthy, We Have News for You

Deeper into Movies: What Have I Been Watching

How Dolly Parton became a secular American saint

Springtime for the Confederacy

Comedy movies rarely make it to theaters today. Here’s why.

A Short Guide to Living More Pointlessly

Another Side of Rupert Grint

What Is a Narcissist?

Videos of Police Brutality Against Black People Are a Futile Spectacle in White America

Trump proposes genocidal national ban on transgender existence if he wins 2024

The super-kinkeepers (& kinkeeping matrix)

The soothing, slightly sinister world of productivity hacks

We're Already Living in the Metaverse

Doc Filmmakers Reckon with the Industry's Murky Ethics

The Band That Best Captures the Sound of the ’70s

The Number One's: Blondie's Rapture

Meat Loaf Owned the Power Ballad

Dating apps have created a culture of entitlement

America's Dangerous Obsession with Innocence

The War on Bollywood

Restoring the Sex and Rage to Jane Austen

Modern Porn Education Is Totally Unprepared for Modern Porn

Parents Need to Talk to Their Kids About Porn

The Porn Crisis That Isn't

Why Porn Has Gotten So Rough

Memoria and the Limitations of Ebert’s Empathy Machine

Is it Possible for a Fanboy to Be a Good Critic?

The people weeding out first dates with a questionnaire

The Anxious Style of American Parenting

Big commitments loosely held

The Junkification of Amazon

The Relentlessness of Modern Parenting

From Tokyo to Paris, Parents Tell Americans to Chill

I guess this turned into a love letter

'Lord' of racism?

The Man Behind the Myth: Should We Question the Hero’s Journey?

AMC is about to make paying for theater seats more like booking an airline ticket

The mounting, undeniable Me Too backlash

Lucky girl syndrome and the endless rebranding of “The Secret”

Stuck in 2020, pretending it’s 2014

No Sex for You: Life in the metaverse will be tacky, prudish, and dull

Sarah's Day in the Life

The Last of Us: Perspectives from an epidemiologist and a plant scientist

Marriage Is Not a Replacement For the Social Safety Net

Gwen Stefani, Ariana Grande, Madonna: The Holy Trinity of Famous Italian American Culture Vultures

How Christopher Columbus Became an Italian-American Icon

Everyone Is Grotesque and No One Is Turned On

Madonna's Face is Not Subversive

The NYT Op-Ed I Just Took A Kill Fee For.

The Whale does all but "giving a voice" to fat people

I Tried Jane Fonda’s ‘80s Workout Tapes To See How They Hold Up.

De-Influencing De-Influencing

TikTok’s De-Influencers Tell You What Not to Buy

The Curious Tale of the Midsize Queen

The Tragedy of Woke Shakespeare

books

the names up on the harp: irish myth and legend by P.J. Lynch, Marie Heaney (reread)

bitten: dark erotic stories by susie bright (started)

[teafairywithabook]

Songs and Ships!

@frenchiefitzhere and @clover-46 tagged me for this and I had to calm myself! I love these things. Songs that remind me of Redacted ships and characters. In no particular order but I'm starting with Avior because no one can stop me.

AVIOR AND STARLIGHT Starlight by Westlife - This is just great and I love it. I want to put the lyrics that fit but all of them work so well. These ones especially maybe?

Starlight, Lighting up the darkest night, Something I can see in your eyes, Keeps me alive tonight oh oh oh, We can all be starlights, Racing at the speed of light, I found you in my darkest time, Now look how we shine so bright, woah, Dancing at the speed of light, You know you are my starlight. Dammit Erik, give me my happy ending!

MILO AND SWEETHEART The Invisible Man by Queen - I just imagine Milo coming in and this is just playing. Now I'm in your room and I'm in your bed, And I'm in your life, and I'm in your head. VEGA AND WARDEN HUSHH by AViVA - Nooo I have so many for Vega but I'll pick this one because I love it. Hush now darling, I won't let go Just keep moving, moving through the smoke, Hold me closer, we step across, Now you know, Hold your breath, dim the lights, I won't say you're safe this time, Here and now you're mine tonight. AARON AND SMARTASS 9 to 5 by Dolly Parton - Yeah yeah I know it's not original but it's the first one I think of! Plus we love Dolly. DAMIEN AND HUXLEY Close To My Fire by Beth Hart and Joe Bonamassa - Two artists I love anyway but come on! Like I could resist this one. Boy you are my symptom delusion, You're melting me down, my resolution, I can escape, can't say I'm trying, You say my name, oh I can't hide it. IMPERIUM SAM Hail To The King by Avenged Sevenfold - The lyrics! It seems very Imperium like to me. There's a taste of fear When the henchmen call Iron fist to tame the land Iron fist to claim it all Hail to the king Hail to the one Kneel to the crown GAVIN AND FREELANCER When You're Gone - by Bryan Adams and Mel C - It's that feeling of only realising you want someone when they're not there. I think Gavin may have been there in the early days. I've been wandering around the house all night wondering what the hell to do Yeah, I'm trying to concentrate, but all I can think of is you Well, the phone don't ring, 'cause my friends ain't home I'm tired of being all alone Got the TV on 'cause the radio's playing songs that remind me of you Baby, when you're gone, I realize I'm in love! Aww Gavin, baby. You'll get there. CAMELOPARDALIS Stressed Out by 21 Pilots - Nobody said these had to be inventive.

I wish I found some better sounds no one's ever heard I wish I had a better voice that sang some better words I wish I found some chords in an order that is new I love him.

IVAN (Vega era) Drive By by Train - Oh the creepy vibes on this one! I love it for Ivan.

You moved to west L.A., or New York or Santa Fe Or wherever, to get away from me

Ok I'm gonna stop there because I can go on and on with so many! But if you want more of a certain ship (or if I missed one you want) come shout at me! I'm going to tag @themonotonysyndrome, @sincerelywhistler and @riathepinkie if they want to do this! Show me your music!

[taintedcigs]

You should have gone with Eddie, like you normally do. What if he gets angry again? What if he’s upset?  Is that why he sounded so grumpy when you called him last night to remind him that you already made plans? No. He already knew about it since Saturday and he wasn’t mad or upset. OMG I ALREADY FEEL SO SO SAD FOR THE READER. SHE NEEDS TO SPEND SOME ALONE TIME FRFR.

Steve had always intertwined his fingers with yours, holding your hand tightly to stop you from chewing on your nails. His hold on your hand was more effective anyways when it came to calming your anxiety. STOP STOP. im already gonna start crying. steve centric chapter will get to meKDJFJGH.

Every time you look into his soft eyes, every time you feel his gentle touch, every time you hear his kind words, you wonder why he had been so rough and harsh when you were still his. What changed? Why is he like this now? Why wasn’t he like this back then? UGHHH. i feel for reader so so much. she deserves so much better. AND SHES RIGHT!! WHYSTEVE WHY?!?! u still got a lot to make up for!!!!

“You don’t have to spend your break with me if you don’t want to.” ill seriously cry hes such a pathetic cutie patootie im gonna cry SHE DOES WANT TO SIT W U STEVIE PLSSS.

“Yeah. As friends.” oh uuu little little liar!!!!!

“Nah, I shared it with you, dolly.” im sorry dolly always gets to me in the best way possible im gonna shed so many tears.

She knows that he was looking forward to this. The lunch date with you. Robin can’t let this happen, not when she saw how nervous you looked when you waited for Steve in front of Scoops Ahoy earlier. IM CRYING AT ROBIN COCKBLOCKING BOTH STEVE AND EDDIE SDJFDKH. OH SHE'S A READER X NANCY SHIPPER LIKE ME.

“You keep running away from your feelings, you can’t even freaking face them!” THAT PART. U JUST CALLED ME OUT SO BAD. I ALSO SAID THIS BEFORE BUT I LOVE THIS. ITS SO RELATABLE. ROBIN WANTING SO BADLY TO BE THERE FOR READER AND FEELING SO DESPERATE WHEN SHES SO CLOSED OFF. UGH JUST THE BEST.

“You are so scared of everything and you keep running away from things instead of fighting for them. You loved Steve so much but you let him go so easily–” “Are you blaming me f-for what happened? A-Are you saying it’s my fault that he left me?” Your voice trembles as you speak. NOOOO THE GIRLS ARE FIGHTING. i feel like i kinda get what robin means here, but she could've worded it better!! but i totally get it. because she did kinda run away after everything that happened w steve. which i don't blame her for, but it would've been a tad bit healthier if she confronted it and told steve what she really really felt, i think thats what robin meant by "fighting" too!!

“I saw you with Eddie, at the lake yesterday. I saw the way you looked at him before you pulled away. I saw you with Steve and the way you looked at him.” OH MY GOODDD. WE R GETTING DOWN TO IT. GO ROBIN. GO ROBIN.

“I-I can’t reach happiness, no matter how hard I try to move on. There’s always something. I-I just can’t be happy. I keep ruining everything, Robin. Steve was my best friend a-and we ruined it, we ruined our friendship for a relationship that fucking sucked. He never wanted me, h-he never even loved me. I’m pretty sure he only loved the idea of us being together – despite the things he’s telling me now, I struggle to believe that he loved me. I loved him, I really fucking loved him and losing him hurt so fucking much – even now,” you whisper. I relate. i love our relatable queen reader. just having an existential crisis.

“I-I do.. I have – you’re right,” you stutter, closing your eyes, “you’re right about everything you said and I hate myself for it, Robin. I hate myself so much.” NOOO IM GONNA CRY:(( SHES SO HARD ON HERSELF :(( POOR BB!!!

“You desperately need a girls night, you need to talk to girls! You need to talk about your feelings, cry to your favorite movies and songs, eat sweets, get drunk!” She smiles, squeezing your shoulders, “I know Heather is busy with Argyle but Chrissy and I are here. We should hang out tonight, just the three of us, no boys allowed.”  EXACTLYLKJSDFLKJ IM SO SO HAPPY FOR THIS. SHE NEEDS A GIRLS NIGHT. W GIRLS. CAN WE INVITE NANCY.

OMFG I LOVED THIS CHAPTER ANDYYY, LIKE I SWEAR U R ONE OF THE BEST WRITERS ON HERE I CAN NEVER UNDERSTAND U DOUBTING YOURSELF BC THIS WAS AMAZING!! SO SO GOOD. I LOVED THE ANGST AND THE SAD PARTS BC EVERYTHING ROBIN SAID WAS LIKE A WARM HUG. UGH JUST FELT LIKE A WARM BLANKET WAS WRAPPED AROUND ME. I LUV IT!!! I CANT WAIT FOR MORE HEHEHE!!!

“Ew, don’t you ever call me that again.” (also i love her so much)

I knew you'd linger like a tattoo kiss | part twenty three

Warnings: angst, mentions of an ED, mentions of reader not eating, mentions of heartbreak and unrequited love. Not proofread!

Pairings: Steve Harrington x fem!reader , Eddie Munson x fem!reader

Summary: After weeks of staying silent, Robin finally confronts you about your feelings.

Word count: 4k

series masterlist

-

You stare at the tiled ground. Bouncing your knee and chewing on your nails, trying to calm your heart from pounding. The sinking feeling in your chest makes you so anxious. 

You shouldn’t have done this. 

You shouldn’t have offered to spend time with Steve. 

You shouldn’t have offered to go out with him for lunch. 

You should have gone with Eddie, like you normally do. 

What if he gets angry again?

What if he’s upset? 

Is that why he sounded so grumpy when you called him last night to remind him that you already made plans? No. He already knew about it since Saturday and he wasn’t mad or upset. 

Or, maybe he was just better at hiding it this time. He hurt you when he found out about the kiss with Steve. He hurt you and that is something he would never do again. You know it. That is why he kept his feelings to himself this time, right? 

Oh god. 

You really hope that he isn’t angry, hurt or upset. 

The last thing you want to do is hurt Eddie. 

You flinch in surprise when a large hand takes hold of your wrist. You look up with wide eyes, about to pull your hand back when you lock eyes with Steve. Your shoulders slump in relief and you take in a deep, shaky breath. You look down at his hand, still wrapped around your wrist. 

“Don’t do that,” he says as he softly pulls your hand away from your lips, looking down at your freshly manicured nails, “you’re gonna ruin your nails.”

Your heart flutters in your chest. 

Steve had always intertwined his fingers with yours, holding your hand tightly to stop you from chewing on your nails. His hold on your hand was more effective anyways when it came to calming your anxiety. 

His hazel eyes scan your face, he notices the worry etched in your beautiful features. 

“What’s wrong?” He asks, stepping closer to you, “are you okay?” 

His soft voice, his kind eyes and his words are almost so foreign. It’s been almost a year since your relationship ended and yet, you get taken back to it every time you’re with him. 

Every time you look into his soft eyes, every time you feel his gentle touch, every time you hear his kind words, you wonder why he had been so rough and harsh when you were still his. What changed? Why is he like this now? Why wasn’t he like this back then? 

Even in the beginning, when he was so good to you, he still wasn’t this gentle with you. 

“Y-Yeah, why wouldn’t I be?”

“You’re chewing on your nails. You always used to do it when you were anxious.”

He can see the way your eyes flash with surprise and the way your brows furrow in confusion. 

Did you really think that he forgot anything about you?

“Oh, I uh, I’m fine.”

He scans your face. You’re lying, he knows it.

You look both nervous and anxious and a part of him fears that he is the cause of it. 

“You don’t have to spend your break with me if you don’t want to.” 

“What? No! No, it’s not that. I want to.. I want to spend time with you. I-I mean, we’re friends, we can just hang out together,” you shrug, trying to give him a smile, “as friends, right?” 

He smiles. You’re blushing and smiling nervously. It’s cute. 

“Yeah. As friends.”

There’s a moment of awkward silence between you both. You stare at each other, neither of you making a move. You just stare at each other as he is still holding your wrist. For a brief second, he looks down at it, he loosens his grip around your wrist, letting his fingers glide down your knuckles and your ringed fingers. The urge to just take your hand and never let it go is so strong. 

He lets it go, raising his hand to run it through his hair, he takes a deep breath. 

“So, what do you want to eat?” He asks, looking around the crowded mall. 

You shrug. 

“I’ll have whatever you want.”

He furrows his brows when he looks back at you. 

“Is that so?” He asks, amused. “You always used to fight about where we should eat.”

A smile pulls at your lips, you nudge his shoulder, shaking your head at him. 

“That’s not true!”

“Yes, it is.”

“No, it’s not,” you mumble, rolling your eyes with a smile on your face. 

“So if I say let’s get KFC, you will say yes?” 

A laugh falls from your lips. 

“Of course you want KFC.”

He raises his brows, “what’s that supposed to mean?” He chuckles.

You lick your lips, looking at the passing people before you lock your eyes with him again. You nudge his shoulder with yours as you start walking. 

“That’s like all you ever wanted to eat, Steve.”

“Yeah and that’s something you never wanted to eat,” he chuckles, “all you ever got was fries. Or mashed potatoes.”

“Well, the mashed potatoes are really good– oh, sometimes I stole your chicken though.”

“Nah, I shared it with you, dolly.”

You feel a pang in your chest. One that makes you swallow harshly, biting back the bitterness on your tongue. You try to leave the pain in the past but every time he says something that reminds you of your past with him, you feel the same pain all over again. 

The same pain that you have felt when he flirted with others. The same pain that you have felt when he started ditching you for her. The same pain that you have felt on the awful night he had broke your heart and everything that came after that. 

You look down with a smile on your face, trying to hide the hurt in your eyes. 

You don’t want him to see how much you are still hurting. He can’t see. He can’t know. Not when you want this to work out. Not when you want to give your friendship a second chance. 

You know that this might be a bad idea. 

Spending time with him. Being alone with him. Letting him back into your life like this but, he just means too much to you to just let him become a stranger again. 

You can be friends again, without wanting more, right? 

You know that you can do it, but can he? 

Can Steve accept being just a friend? 

A part of you thinks that he can’t. He had proven it a few times already, that he can’t be just a friend. It’s in the way he looks at you, it’s in the way he touches you, it’s in the way he says your name, it’s in the way he kissed you. 

But you want it to work out. You want him in your life. You want him to be your friend again. 

“Hey guys! Wait up for me!” 

You and Steve halt in your tracks, both turning around to see Robin rushing towards you both. 

“You gotta be kidding me,” Steve mumbles under his breath. 

“Aaron told me to take the break with you,” she smirks at Steve, who rolls his eyes at her. 

She knows that he was looking forward to this. The lunch date with you. Robin can’t let this happen, not when she saw how nervous you looked when you waited for Steve in front of Scoops Ahoy earlier.

She squeezes herself in the middle, wrapping her arm around your shoulder. 

“Let’s get some fries, girl.” 

A smile appears on your face, a look of relief flashing in your eyes, which makes her feel better about intervening. 

‘Sorry, Steve.’ She thinks to herself. 

-

Robin’s eyes roam your face. Her brows are knit together as she watches you. 

You’re sitting across from her, playing with the fries on your plate that you have only eaten half of. There’s a troubled look in your eyes, you are chewing on your bottom lip, blinking as you stare down at your lap. 

Steve is rambling, talking about some horror story Dustin had most likely made up while sipping on his Dr. Pepper. She isn’t really listening, too busy trying to figure you out. 

She wonders what you’re thinking about for you to look so.. sad. 

She needs to talk to you. She can’t wait till the summer is over. She needs to talk to you and she knows that you need to talk about it as well. 

“Hey Steve?” She turns towards him, interrupting his rambling, “can you get me something?” 

He sighs in annoyance. 

“What?”

She shakes her empty cup, giving him a hopeful smile, “another sprite?” 

He rolls his eyes at her but he stands up from his seat, “you’re lucky I like you.” 

She snorts. 

He gathers the empty boxes on the table, placing them all on the food tray. He looks down at you and the food you didn’t finish, “are you not gonna eat that, y/n?” 

Finally, you look up. 

You look lost, staring at him with a frown as though you don’t understand what he means. 

“The fries,” he mumbles, pointing at your tray. 

You look down, shaking your head, “n-no, I’m not very hungry,” you say, reaching for the drink as you look back up, “I had a big breakfast.”

He frowns, knowing that there’s no truth behind your words. There’s not much he can do about it though. Steve had worried about you and your wellbeing from the day his parents pointed out the changes in you. Ever since then, he had watched you closely, feeling more helpless than ever as there was nothing that he could do to help. 

He swallows, looking down sadly, he reaches for your tray, “alright. Do you want anything else?” 

“No, thanks,” you smile, shaking your head. 

He nods, giving you a smile back before he walks away, leaving you and Robin to yourselves. 

You wrap your lips around the plastic straw, looking out the window, you watch the people at the food court as you take a sip of your sweet drink. Unaware of Robin’s concerned eyes on you. 

Your eyes fall on the three teenage girls sitting by the big water fountain. The one in the middle is holding a magazine, reading something to her friends who are giggling at whatever she is telling them. One of them is wearing a green scrunchie on her wrist, it’s similar to the one you used to have. You don’t know where it went, it must’ve disappeared in one of yours or his drawers. 

She nudges your foot under the table, speaking your name softly. 

You tear your gaze away from them, raising your brows in question when you see the look on Robin’s face. The sad frown. 

“Yeah? What’s wrong?” 

She looks around, leaning closer after taking a deep breath. 

“Are you okay?” 

For a moment, there is nothing but silence between the two of you. She takes in the look of your face, watching the way your features twist into confusion. 

“What?” 

“Are you okay?” 

The feeling of the weight crashing from your chest into your stomach, suddenly makes you feel sick. You don’t know why her words affect you the way they do but, the longer you look at her and the longer you watch the concerned look in her eyes, you feel like crying. 

You blink, hoping that no tears will well up in your eyes. 

“Yeah,” you say after a moment of hesitation. 

Her shoulders slump and she sighs. She doesn’t have to say it out loud for you to know that she doesn’t believe you. 

“Why?” 

Robin takes a deep breath, leaning back in her seat, she raises her hands towards her face, running her fingers through her hair. 

“Y-You’re just, you’re not – can I be honest with you?”

You cross your arms over your chest, nodding, “always.”

“Okay,” she nods, sighing. “You’re different.”

“What?”

“You’re acting weird. You’re not yourself.” 

You straighten your back, leaning closer to the table, “what do you mean?” You frown. 

“Ever since that stupid date with that asshole, you have been acting weird, which is totally understandable considering what happened b-but, you were doing so good before that, you were moving on from Steve, you were doing better every day a-and after that night, you just, it’s like, you took ten steps back. And, I promise, I’m not judging you but I’m really fucking worried about you.” 

You’re a little taken aback. You didn’t expect this. 

“W-What?” You chuckle, nervously. 

“Just when you were getting better all this shit hits the fan!” 

You furrow your brows at her. 

“You’re not eating,” she points to the now empty table, “you’re friends with Steve again – which hey, I get now cause it turns out that Steve Harrington is actually a pretty nice dude now that he’s.. changed,” she mumbles, rolling her eyes. “B-But, you two kissed not too long ago and that upset Eddie which in turn upset you when he found out and acted like a total brat a-and– god!” She pulls at her hair, groaning in annoyance as she takes a deep breath again, “you should be focusing on yourself but you’re stuck between Steve who you are still very much in love with, obviously. And Eddie, who’s clearly more than just–”

Before she can even finish the sentence, you jump up from your seat out of sheer panic, slamming your drink on the table before you rush out of the restaurant, leaving Robin to  sit by herself. 

She calls out your name, throwing her hands up. She knows what you’re doing, you are trying to run away, but she won’t let you. 

She curses under her breath, pushing herself up from her seat and rushes out. 

It’s 1pm on a Monday, the mall isn’t very crowded, yet she needs a moment to find you. She squints her eyes, looking around for you. 

“God damnit, girl,” she mumbles. 

You’re fast, she’s gotta give you that. Every time you run away from something or someone, you make a quick escape and disappear into thin air. She keeps looking around until she finds you walking into the hallway that leads to the bathrooms. 

She follows you, catching up with you just before you walk into the bathroom. She wraps her hand around her wrist, pulling you back, softly. 

“Y/n.” 

You flinch, pulling your hand out of her grasp as you turn around to face her. 

“Leave me alone, Robin.” 

“No!” She shakes her head, grabbing your shoulders when you try to leave again, she slams you against the wall, keeping her hands on your shoulders. “I’m not letting you run away again – that’s what you keep doing, by the way, if you haven’t noticed. You run away from everything, y/n!” 

“T-That’s not true,” you mumble. 

“Yes it is.” 

You try to hide the fact that her words felt like a punch to your gut. 

“You keep running away from your feelings, you can’t even freaking face them!”

Your jaw clenches. You feel the anger bubbling inside of your chest. 

“You can’t even admit to them!” 

You know she is talking about him and it’s making your heart race. 

She’s right, you don’t want to face them, you want to keep running, hoping that they won’t catch up to you, hoping that they won’t ruin yet another good thing in your life. 

“Stop.”

She can’t see the tears in your eyes because you’re looking down, hiding them. 

“I know you have feelings for Ed–”

“Stop it, Robin!” You yell, trying to hide how nervous you are. 

She finally lets go of you and she takes a step back, eyeing you up and down with a shake of her head. She loves you, you’ve become one of her closest friends. She cares about you and your feelings, but she can’t stand watching you make yourself suffer. 

It wasn’t Ray who did this to you. He only triggered the feelings that have been inside of you already. You let the walls of lies crumble down the moment he touched them. You have never been okay, not even when you started to look okay. You were struggling, you were always struggling, even with Steve.

You are scared, that’s why you keep running instead of fighting for the things that you love. 

“You’re a coward.”

Another punch to your gut. 

The coil in your throat tightens and you swallow down harshly before you raise your head to look at her. You almost expect her to look at you in anger and disgust but instead you find the look of pity in her eyes. 

Tears well up in your eyes, your bottom lip trembles the longer you look at her. 

“You are so scared of everything and you keep running away from things instead of fighting for them. You loved Steve so much but you let him go so easily–”

You scoff, staring at her in disbelief. 

“Are you blaming me f-for what happened? A-Are you saying it’s my fault that he left me?” Your voice trembles as you speak. 

Her eyes widen and she shakes her head, raising her hands up, “no! N-No, that’s not what I’m saying!”

“Then what are you saying, Robin? Cause it sounds like you’re blaming me for the break up!” 

“I-I just mean that you let him go! You let him go even though you loved him to death! I’m not saying that he deserved you to fight for him because he really didn’t deserve it at all – this is about you, not him. You loved him and you didn’t bother to even demand real answers, you just let him go because you were scared of the real answers, you were scared of the confrontation, you were scared because you gave him so much and it still wasn’t enough b-but I know that you wanted to fight for him, I fucking know it and you know it too.”

The mask is slipping and you are forced to show how much you are struggling. 

“You ignore everything around you because you’re scared!” 

“N-No.”

“You never show how you really feel.”

You draw your bottom lip between your teeth, trying to stop it from trembling. You shake your head. 

“You keep lying. You keep lying to yourself and to everyone around you.” 

A flush creeps up your face, your heartbeat quickens. You feel both ashamed and scared. You thought you were good at hiding it, your feelings. 

“No,” you lie, again. 

“Y/n,” she sighs, giving you a sad look. 

“You aren’t lying?” 

You shake your head. 

“Alright, well, if you aren’t lying then tell me why you’re not eating or why you stopped talking to me about how you feel – cause at some point you used to talk to me.” 

Your shoulders fall and you close your eyes when you can no longer hold the tears back. 

She is right. 

She is right about everything. 

You lean against the wall behind you, trying to wipe away the tears subtly. 

“I saw you with Eddie, at the lake yesterday. I saw the way you looked at him before you pulled away. I saw you with Steve and the way you looked at him.”

“Robin..”

“No, don’t ‘Robin’ me!” She throws her hands up, “I’m sick of you pushing me away because you think that I will judge you and your feelings for them! I’m your friend, y/n. I’m here and I’m not going anywhere. I’m here for you, I’m here to listen, I’m here to talk, I’m here to help so please, please let me help you because I’m going insane watching you being so hard on yourself!” 

What did you do to deserve her? 

You are so sick of your feelings. 

You are so sick of falling in love and ruining everything because of it. 

You are so sick of setting yourself up for failure. 

You look back at her, bouncing your knee as you look at her through your tears. 

Her eyes soften when she sees how much you are struggling. She takes a step closer. “I’m here, y/n, and I’m not going anywhere. I promise. You can talk to me, about anything.” 

How can you talk about your feelings when you refuse to acknowledge them? 

How can you talk about something that you don’t want to accept?

“I-I just, why does this keep happening to me?” 

Robin’s heart breaks at the sound of your shaky voice. 

“What do you mean, y/n?” 

You swallow the coil in your throat and raise your hand, wiping your tears in annoyance. 

“I-I can’t reach happiness, no matter how hard I try to move on. There’s always something. I-I just can’t be happy. I keep ruining everything, Robin. Steve was my best friend a-and we ruined it, we ruined our friendship for a relationship that fucking sucked. He never wanted me, h-he never even loved me. I’m pretty sure he only loved the idea of us being together – despite the things he’s telling me now, I struggle to believe that he loved me. I loved him, I really fucking loved him and losing him hurt so fucking much – even now,” you whisper.

And for the first time, Robin sees how much pain there actually is, how much pain you have been hiding all these months. It’s in your eyes, it’s in your voice, it’s surrounding you. 

“I thought befriending Steve would numb the pain,” you breathe, closing your eyes to take a deep breath, “but I still love him.”

Her gaze softens, she scrunches her face up, watching the way you try so hard not to break down. 

“A-And Eddie,” your voice cracks and for a brief moment, you look up at the ceiling, trying to calm your breathing. 

Robin looks down.  

“I-I do.. I have – you’re right,” you stutter, closing your eyes, “you’re right about everything you said and I hate myself for it, Robin. I hate myself so much.”

Robin’s large sad eyes don’t make it any easier for you. 

She whispers your name, sadly. Not hesitating to pull you into a hug and wrapping her arms around you tightly. 

“Don’t say that,” she whispers. 

You don’t say anything, you just close your eyes and hug her back. 

“I ruin everything with my feelings–”

“No, you don’t. It’s not your fault, y/n. It’s not your fault, okay?”  

She listens to your sniffles, she feels the way your body is shaking as you try to keep the sobs in. 

A part of her feels guilty for being the trigger of all of this but the other part knows that this is what you needed. 

You need to talk about your feelings.

You need to let yourself feel. 

“You know what you need?” 

“Therapy?” You joke even though there’s tears rolling down your face. 

“Yeah that too but that’s not what I was gonna say.”

You pull away from the hug, chuckling at her words. 

“You desperately need a girls night, you need to talk to girls! You need to talk about your feelings, cry to your favorite movies and songs, eat sweets, get drunk!” She smiles, squeezing your shoulders, “I know Heather is busy with Argyle but Chrissy and I are here. We should hang out tonight, just the three of us, no boys allowed.” 

“I haven’t seen Eddie today though.”

“Oh my god,” she mumbles, rolling her eyes, “you know what? He’ll survive one day without you and you will too, like I said, you need a girls night.” 

“Girls night,” you nod, trying to give her a smile. 

“Yeah, now let's get you into the bathroom, you look like a racoon with your mascara running down like that.” 

You raise your hand to wipe it away but she stops you. 

“No, you’re gonna make it worse! Go,” she gestures to the bathroom, pushing you towards it. 

“Okay, mom.”

“Ew, don’t you ever call me that again.”

-

tagging friends & mutuals

@taintedcigs @hellfire--cult @littledemondani @mysticmunson @wroteclassicaly @corrodedseraphine @corrodedcorpses @take-everything-you-can @trashmouth-richie @succubusmunson @xxhellfirebunnyxx @somethingvicked @sherrylyn628 @nemesis729 @chrissymjstan

[the-good-projxct]

Beyonce Country Music Theory

Feb 2024

I believe Beyonce is about to break the US dollar via music. Wild theory but here goes. Taylor Swift is the highest grossing country music superstar all american darling right now. She is dating a white all american football player. She is the epitome of the white American dream. Achieve any success as a woman but society still dictates that you must have the tough, strong man of your dreams by your side. But ENOUGH about Tay Tay and her colonizer fantasies...

Yeezy take the wheel. 

This is about Yoncé. 

Beyonce is the Black American dream. She is the African American global darling highest grossing pop star. She is dating a once upon a time drug dealer turned entrepreneur/billionaire Black man with Blackity Black Black Black features. She has three kids and a tight knit family. She is the epitome of AMERICAN Black girl magic. She represens the hustle of America. The you can do it all and have it all if you want. Black capitalism at its highest.

Bow down broke minions.

So, now Queen B has skidaddled over to country music. I bet you Tay Tay is shooketh in her lil’ cowboy boots. Because we know, anything that white women do well, Black women do it better. Bey is from Texas so she has every right to country. And country music is Black As Hell so, any one of us can do country, hello Lil Nas X. It is OURS first. Stake the claim in it niggas.

Anyway, now that the Queen has chosen to terrify likkle white gyals and Dolly has approved of this transition. It is time to watch the numbers and the charts talk. 

Taylor Swift is supported by the white dollar. It is a very niche group of white women and girls that love Taylor Swift. The ones that call themselves feminists but will date a racist. Taylors fans don’t cross demographics and age groups, they are a very niche group of ages 6-40 year old white girls and women. 

Beyonce on the other hand, her fandom includes all races of women globally, Queer and Trans folx. But the key thing is that, Black folx will ride for Beyonce because of what she represents for the new American capitalist dream. Black folx showed up and showed out for renaissance. I do not align with a lot of Beyonce’s politics but yo, I know what her image, her brand, her artistry has done for Black girls and women in America. It has uplifted. And wherever Black people go, physically, emotionally, spiritually, financially…white people will follow. 

So, if this is a test of whose dollar is worth more. Beyonce is about to show us that when she is put in the same music genre as the all white american sweetheart with the faux fade footballer, Beyonce and by association, Black folx will win. It will show that our dollar has more value. That we will buy out, listen to, attend shows, blow up charts in a way white America cyannot. And I am here for this. I am here for this awakening in Black spaces. For us to see that our support and our dollar is unmatched. I want the world to see that Black folx will support and financially blow up what they believe in. I want to see global markets start to chase the Black dollar. I hope Beyonce breaks the American dollar, splits it in two markets. The Black American dollar and the white dollar as other. We’ve  always lived in a split America and I’d love to see that reflected financially.

Anyway, maybe then and only then can she walk away from being the Queen of Black Capitalism/wealth hoarding. Maybe then she will actually choose being a Black Panther instead of being a performative one. Maybe then she will choose collective collaboration/liberation.

But until then,

go ahead Mrs. Carter. Destroy the white dollar.

Pull a Mansa Musa.

Destabilize the colonizer.

... if that's your revolution, I'm here to see it.

... from the sidelines or VIP like TayTay.

Happy Black History Month.

[ladycamdens]

so okay, i'm finally home. this is a play by play of my night, if u dont care too bad i do.

the event was held at a club that i have a lot of ✨️history✨️ with, so i was nervy af. but the queens were so sweet!! i literally just RAN into ginger's arms @ meet and greet going "GINGIEEE" - bc that's my biological mother, i naturally feel no shame. she gave me the biggest hug and was like "look at this dragggg, omg those eyes". then michael turned around and was visibly pleasantly surprised and was like "Omg" (no one else came in drag really) and gave me a hug. then I believe gushed over my nails. i explained i hadn't been in drag in about 5 years, and they were like "really?? we're honoured!!" which like aww. ginger asked "what's your name, darling?" and i was like "dolly" and she was like, "of course it is!" and then up and downed my outfit. we took our picture, and tomara was like, "enjoy the show baby!". i talked to her the least i think but only bc it goes so quick

i proceeded to see two ex friends, but honestly, it didn't bother me like i thought it would, and that's on growth!!!! then three separate people complimented my mug, and one said, "i saw you up on stage, and you matched them perfectly," which omg as a queen, is exactly what you want to hear.

we were up on the balcony for the entire show. during a lip-sync for your life thing they did with some audience members, ginger looked right up at me, and we had a mutual boogie to padam padam. but then i kinda gaslit myself into thinking i was having a parasocial moment that didn't happen until aspen was like omg she found youuu.

then, during her second number, she looked right up @ me and waved. i was kinda dying at this point. then, during the final number, AND as they were leaving the stage, she looked up at me waved and blew kisses. anyways i love ginger johnson sm.

this is why i always say your time is better spent supporting queens you love than hating on one's you don't 💕💕

[nityarawal]

1/7/2024

The Roast: They Shot Themselves In The Foot Ma

Morning Songs

Survived January 6th

Insurrectionalists

Pride

Reunions

Firemen

Displays

Survived

Sarah Silverman

Rape Jokes

Met Her In 

2011

David Lynch

Comedy Show

In Beverly Hills

I Couldn't Laugh 

At

The Little Brat

Her Rape Jokes

Made My Eyes

Sting

Whose Lolita

Is That

I Wondered

At Her Denim Cut Off

Shorts

Pigtails

And Thigh-highs

Skipping

Whose Little Brat

Is That

Who Bribed Her

To Jail Paris

With DMV

Fraud

Whose Little Brat

Is That

Who Elected Her

For The Britney

Spears

Football Atty Kaplan Fan

Club

Whose Brat Is

That

Rather Cute

Lolita Don't You

Think

Whose Brat Is

That Grooming

Lilly For Jihad

With #Swifty Berets

And Jordana

On Symmetry 

Bribes

Whose Brat Wants

A Queen Rania

Dolly

Whose Brat

Is That

Who Wants A

Palestinian Bae 

So Bad

Too Posh To Push

Whose Brat Is

That

Making Irany

Jokes

At The Expense

Of Labs

Our Kids 

Whose Brat Is

That

I Give You An Inch

Of Grace

Only Because

You Testified

About Silverman Rapes

Whose Brat Is That

Did Dr. Alan

Silverman

Rape You With

Disney 

Handlers

Whose Brat Is

That

Mr. Roger's

Did You Get A

Josh Radnor

Doll

For Chrismacah

Sesame Street

In Exchange

For A Jimmy Kimmel

Atty Bribe

Whose Brat Is That

What'd The Jewish 

Santa's Pay

To Cage My Little

Paris

And Anjali-

Britneys'

Whose Brat Is 

That

You Might Ask

Dr. Alan Silverman

Is She Yours

The Harvard

Paralegal From Hell

Who Married your

Brotherly

Atty 

Whose Brat Is 

That

Crying On Stage

She Says They

Killed Her Grandma

On Foul Play

At 97yo

Stockholm Syndrome

The Princess 

Cries

No Mom

In Site 

Both Parents Died

Stockholm Syndrome

We Understand

We Heard You

Stockholm Syndrome 

The Voice

Headhunting

Minors

Spotify

AI

Rewind

Grimesz

Airforce Kidnappings

SS

It's OK Darlin'

We Know You Were

Groomed And Raped

So We Give You

A Break

De- Pantsed Like Cher

In Irany

Of Course

You Must've Been

Shredded

For The "W" Word

In Court

We Give You A Break

But You Must

Return Our Kids

Rumplestiltskins

Of Infinite

Ambitions

With $100 Trillion

Dollars In

Damages

For What Every

Jewish Atty

Did

Shot Himself

In The Foot

The Guys With Guns

Weren't So Good

Shot Themselves

In The Foot

Jonathan Masters

Benny Waggoner

Shot Themselves

In The Foot

When They Pimped

Out A Nanny

To Be First Lady

They Shot Themselves

In The Foot

So We Clean Up

The Mess

Forgive

Apologize

Build Walls

Refund

Sorry

My Loves

Apologize

Refund

Fake Jihadists

Refund

Apartheid

Crimes

Refund

Peace

Indeed 

My Ladies

Please Bring

Peace

Baraye

Liberty

Peace

Namaste

Irany

We Love You

Anyways 

Peace,

Nitya Nella Davigo Azam Moezzi Huntley Rawal 

[wqbytop100]

WQBY

Top 100 for the week ending June 11. 2023

Pwbr Blu----Kx5 f/ Brother -3

Where You Are---John Summit f/ Hayla -1

Sweet Goodbye---Robin Schulz, *Svidden remix -2

Submarine---Seeb, BANNERS, SUPER-Hi -4

Borderline---Tove Lo -4

Happy---NF -16

Jacare---Sofi Tukker -14

Waterfall----Michael Schulte, R3HAB -9

Misbehave---Ship Wrek, Disco Lines -10

Feels This Good---Sigala, Mae Stephens, Caity Baser, Steflon Don -19

Seasons----Bebe Rexha, Dolly Parton -12

Rhyme Dust----MK & Dom Dolla -7

Pearls----Jessie Ware -6

Crying On The Dancefloor---Sam Feldt, Jonas Blue, Endless Summer, Violet Days -8

The Way---Manchester Orchestra -24

High Heels - Party Down Under----Flo Rida, Walker Hayes, *Sam Feldt remix -13

Waffle House---The Jonas Brothers -18

Sparks----MEDUZA, DEL-30, Mali-Koa -17

If We Ever Broke Up---Mae Stephens -11

One Time---Alan Walker -20

Take Me Home---VAVO, Clara Mae -31

Upside Down---MEDUZA, Poppy Baskcomb -23

Gone (Da da Da)---Imanbek, Jay Sean -25

Stereo---SUM SUN, Sly Chance -22

Here We Go Again---Oliver Tree, David Guetta -15

I Feel Love---Freya Ridings -61

Chemical---Post Malone -26

Part Of Me---Cian Ducrot -28

Reborn---SIDEPIECE, *Kyle Walker remix -27

Sweat---ESSEL -84

Just The Kinda Feeling----Yotto, Lost Boy -21

Hungry Heart----Steve Aoki, Galantis, Hayley Kiyoko -32

Something's Coming---Cheat Codes, Lady A -29

Good Time---The Dare -33

Church Outfit---Poppy -34

Heaven---Niall Horan -35

Left & Right---Ownboss, FAST BOY -46

No One Dies From Love---Tove Lo -30

So Many Ways To Get Downtown -- Proxima Parada -36

Begin Again---Jessie Ware -40

<>Hey Little Mama---Margan Evans -(re entry)

Dancing All Alone---Morgan Page, TELYKAST -44

<>Hooked---Sam Short -(re entry)

Everything You Have Done---GENESI, *MEDUZA remix/cut

River---Mylie Cyrus -37

<>This Is What Losing Someone Feels Like---JVKE -(re entry)

Dancing In The Courthouse---Dominic Fike -47

Bright Lights----Kx5 f/ AR/CO -39

Back To You---Bob Moses, Amtrac -41

Say Say Say---Kygo, Michael Jackson, Paul McCartney -42

Anyway---Cash Cash, RuthAnne -54

Run A Red Light---Everything But The Girl -99

<>Broken---Isak Danielson, Lost Frequencies -(re entry)

<>Too Many Things---The Linda Lindas -(re entry)

<>Don't Give Up--Zoe Wees (re entry)

<>Change---LAUREL -(re entry)

<>Sleepwalking---Matt Sassari, Goodboys -(re entry)

Psychos---Jenny Lewis -48

It's Euphoric---Georgia -49

Mrs Hollywood---Go Jo -50

Rain On My Mind---Diplo, Paul Cauthen, Sierra Ferrell -62

Revelations---ZHU, Devault, BabyJake -63

Stars---PNAU, Bebe Rexha, Ozuna -66

Voodoo---Gorgan City -68

Dance Around It---Joel Corry, Caity Baser -69

Die For A Night---A R I Z O N A -70

No Sleep---Regard, Ella Henderson -58

Don't Call Me---Slushi, Leah Kate -71

End Of Time---Zara Larson -75

Blood & Sugar---Boys Likes Girls -76

Dressed For A Funeral----Groupthink, Sunday Scaries -77

Won't Forget These Days---Fury In The Slaughterhouse, VIZE -78

What A Life---Dave Aude, Jeffery Jones -79

Gangster---W&W, VINAI -81

You'll Never Walk Alone---Duncan Lawrence -82

All You Need Is Love---Nicky Romero, Jonas Blue, Nico Santos -85

I Just Wanna Know---Katerine Li -86

Back To This---Matt Sassari, Soshy -88

Bleach (Move On)---Cash Cash -88

Just Alone---Heartaahe -91

Welcome To Dinna--Francis Mercier, Black Uhuru -55

Queencard---(G)I-DLE -96

The Throne---DJ Minx -100

Himbo---Curtis Waters -56

***Killer Queen----Robin Schulz, FIL BO RIVA -(new)

***Was I Supposed To Care---Groupthink -(new)

--Sing Hallelujah---Dr Alban (re-current)

<>The One----INJI -(re entry)

<>Puppet On A String---Abe Parker (re entry)

--I'm Not Dead Yet----Mike Posner (re current)

You Were Right---ILLENIUM, Wooli, Grabbitz -67

<>Deju Vu---Abraham Alexander f/ Mavis Staples -(re entry)

***A Year Ago---James Arthur -(new)

Baby Again...----Fred Again..., Skrillex, Four Tet -(re entry)

***Lungs Burn---Little Image -(new)

***Back Around----Tiesto, AR/CO -(new)

***Lipstick Lover---Janelle Monae -(new)

Dancing's Done---Ava Max -43

I Wrote A Song---Mae Muller -45

On & On---Armin Van Buuren -51

[interview-project]

Movies/Video

Growing up, my great aunt Naomi didn’t visit movie theaters, her parents thought they were too secular. When asked if she ever visited them anyway, she said “Oh Heather! No, of course not.” Tammie, my first cousin once removed who was with Naomi while we spoke, could be heard laughing in the background. It’s unlike my great aunt to do things she isn’t supposed to. 

While they didn’t visit theaters, she was still able to watch movies on television. Two she could remember watching and loving are The Agony and the Ecstasy (1965) and So Big (1953), “ I just thought that those were great movies at 19. But I don’t think I remember the plots very well now. I know that I had read the book that So Big was based on, and that’s why I watched it.” These movies she watched on “regular TV! It was before we even had a VCR, so I would just go through the channels looking for something.” 

Pictured below is the poster for The Agony and the Ecstasy (1965). Original image source here.

The first movie Naomi watched in theaters was Valley of the Dolls (1967). She went with her roommates to a drive-in theater in Tahlequah, Oklahoma, and she thinks they parked near the middle. They didn’t go very often at first, and she was able to list several of the movies she saw in order and in what towns she saw them. This was very impressive to me, but she couldn’t recall the names of the theaters. She also recalls going on dates with her then-boyfriend when she worked as a nurse in the Navy. They would go to a movie theater in Cincinnati, Ohio that she could not recall the name of. She also spoke about how she was with her father the first time he ever visited a theater. “We watched Hello Dolly and I just remember the look on his face so clearly. He was very impressed by the largeness of the screen and the amount of people there. He was visiting me in Waukegan, Illinois.” She didn’t start getting concessions at movie theaters until she had children. She remembers taking her daughters to Snow White at a theater in Tulsa, Oklahoma and being shocked at how the movie was actually a little scary. “I just remember how surprised I was at some of the things that queen was doing! It was wild.” 

So, her first experiences were going to the movies with friends, and that shifted to going to the movies with family, and now she often visits the movies with me. Some recent favorites that we watched together include 80 for Brady (2023) and  Downton Abbey: A New Era (2022). She also visits the theater with her friends, and they’ll plan together to carpool to a theater, "like how we used to, you know, back in the dinosaur age. It’s a bit harder now, because we don’t all live so close to each other like we did [in college].” A recent watch for them is Jesus Revolution (2023).

Pictured below is the movie poster for Downton Abbey: A New Era. Original image source here.

Today, Naomi will watch movies online, either on YouTube or the BBC, but she says she mostly watches DVDs or Blu-Rays that she used to rent. “Oh, it sucked when that Family Video closed down. I remember in Oklahoma, Norman and I would take the girls to … I think it was like a BlockBuster or maybe Hollywood Video? Anyway, they would have so much fun picking out a movie. We’d sit in the living room and watch together in the evening and we’d have ice cream or popcorn. They loved that. But the Family Video in town, when it closed I bought up a lot of DVDs. But going and picking it out, that was most of the fun.” 

Pictured below is the Family Video that Naomi would frequent before it was shut down. Original image source here.

[elcrdi]

Right now I'm working on Frankenstein, which won't be coming out for quite a bit considering we're still filming. You on the other hand, seem to have a lot going on with performances and your album release sneaking up. I feel like you definitely get a free pass for any song you wrote when you were 16. I've never written songs, but I can only imagine the kind of stuff 16-year-old Jacob would have tried writing about. Head carpenter? Makes it sound like I'm in charge of a construction job or something. I need a hard hat that has "Head Carpenter" plastered on the front of it. The slight country vibes gave off Dolly energy, which is impossible not to love. I don't doubt our power, but I feel like TikTok may be more powerful than even us. Okay well if you got Taylor on board, then I feel like anything would be able to get done. She's basically queen of the universe and she's earned that title. There's nothing that woman can't do. I am too cool for Instagram reels, thank you for acknowledging that. Rose gold iPhones should never have gone out of style. Though really at the end of the day, it doesn't matter what color phone you have because we all put cases on them anyway. Unless you get a clear case and you're able to see the color of the phone. Good for you on that sponsorship, but I'm an iPhone snob and refuse to ever go back to an Android at this point.

cool. same, by the way. what new projects do you have coming up? i need to know so that i can make sure i clear time in my schedule to go and watch them all, okay? ooh, i've definitely put out a bad song or two. but also, in my defence, i was like 16 so i get a free pass. oh my gosh, did you? i might need to call you head carpenter, at this point. i'm glad that you liked it, though. i know the slight country vibes aren't for everyone, but as long as you're down with it, then that's everything to me. you are. i think you'd better just embrace the vibes, jake. do you doubt our power? i think we could do it, but okay. maybe i can rope taylor in. between the three of us, we could bring it back. she'd be doing the heavy lifting, of course. and that's because you're too cool to be using instagram reels. i could get behind that. make rose gold iphones cool again. but not really, because i have a samsung sponsorship and would never use an iphone.