#anyways bye sorry <3 i might just be able to upload stuff again until like maybe this weekend or the next :/ pining is taking up tumblr time

[icelogged]

everyone wish @nymph-eater happy birthday right now please :333<3

[mallowstep]

nursery things

when do queens move into the nursery?

also it is very important to me that kits call their parents by their names

this lost all formatting when i pasted it but i need to sleep in literally three mintues enjoy

gestation

cats have a gestation period of about 2 months. for the sake of cat ease, we'll say they think of it as a full season, but obviously they don't know if they're pregnant until as little as a moon before they give birth. this is not factually what is occuring, it's what they think, because that means kits become apprentices at nine moons, a holy number.

anyway, cats will show at three weeks to an experienced eye. at four weeks, they'll have a bit of morning sickness. by five weeks, they'll be able to feel the kits development. so that's uh, about 5 weeks before they give birth?

i'm really bad at math i'm sorry.

after that, they're going to grow rapidly and become unfit for patrols fairly quickly. i'm trying to construct a timeline for the fourth apprentice and the poppyfrost drama, but if berrynose knew poppyfrost's kits were coming, he probably had a point.

i mean, she didn't have to move into the nursery, that was overzealous, and she had some time before she couldn't serve as a warrior, but pregnant queens are not exactly mobile.

like mate. she's not going anywhere.

queen madness

i've talked about this a lot and i'm kind of rushing to get this out bc i have a midterm tomorrow so i'm going to bed in 15 minutes regardless of whether or not i post/queue something but i don't want to cheat by uploading allegiances for something i wasn't planning on writing allegiances for (plus those always take me forever) and fuck i'm getting to the point

look. i've talked a lot about this and i don't have anything new to say.

queens. they get overprotective.

frankly, squilf refusing to take young kits back to camp and them hiding under her tail is a fucking trope in my fic.

i don't even know how that's possible, and yet.

fading

so there's this cat equivalent of sids (sudden infant death syndrome) where young (feral) kits just kind of...don't live.

it's also pretty similar to what's called "failure to thrive"

anyway all of these things are interesting go look them up (sad tho be forewarned, also re. failure to thrive lots of very unethical decisions.)

but anyway, i've introduced this concept as fading for several reasons.

one, it explains the vanishing kits problem.

two, it explains why so many kits die despite having socialized medicine with around 95-99% cure rates.

three, it's a good folklore thing. like, queens are scared of this. they're anxious about it. especially in leaf-bare. it adds a good bit of filler drama and all that.

four, more cat biology accuracy.

anyway, this is marked by a kit failing to grow properly. there's nothing wrong with them, they just...never "get on board."

i'm not digging it out now but i have a quote somewhere that's basically "well, she's quiet and calm, but she's growing, so i don't think she's going to die in her sleep."

anyway, this is basically my merciful catchall for kit death. sue me, that's one of my lines.

(but wait, i hear you say, didn't you literally write a fic involving neonaticide and neonaticannabalism? i made that word up i can't spell for shit tho. well, yes, however, those are not character kits, they are plot devices, and you know it. so it doesn't cross the line. i didn't give them personalities for a reason.)

so yeah. okay 10 minutes left and two more sections i can do this.

birthdays (birth days)

heh no one fucking cares.

about, like, the human concept of a birth day.

no, so queens will know they're going to kit soon up to a week beforehand. hazy sources, i'm sorry, provide on request.

again i'm rushin.

right anyway so queens are pretty Aware as you will, and so there's plenty of time to prep the nursery. or other location. that's fairly common in green-leaf, but the clan works real hard to avoid it in the other seasons because it's significantly riskier.

but anyway, a separate kitting nest is provided, and because these are near human levels of intelligence, the cats don't have problems figuring shit out. the other kits are cleared out to the elders den for as many as three nights (kitting can take up to 40 hours), and it's usually the queen's wish to spend a night w her mate. (a) because parents and (b) because safety instincts.

(also as an only vaguely unrelated side, i've recommended "the minor fall, the major life" before and i can't say too much now because i don't have 15 minutes to reread the whole thing i read 1k words a minute and type 100 words a minute how do you think i publish so much but there's some funny? i think it's funny stuff where redtail is all "you know it's kind of concerning how willowpelt keeps having children with no clear father")

and uh, yeah. queens usually track their kits birth to the nearest whole or half moon depending on the clan. there's usually a transitional day ceremony and a mid season ceremony, kits are done when the queens decide they're mature, usually erring over six moons, but on occasion, erring under.

as far as i'm concerned, cinder/bracken/thorn/bright situations never happen. i never remember the four of them are littermates because of that.

moving on i have like 1 minute fuck i forgot i need to brush my teeth

kinship terms

i've already started work on a separate piece for this but.

kits call everyone by their name. they might stumble over it, and those become nicknames, the way young kids do, but please remove every instance of a kit calling "mama" and replace it with either a generic meow or their mother's name.

this is important to me. it just doesn't make sense for the clan to do this, imo, because we see no other terms to refer to people, not even a father term. kits canonically call their fathers by their name (skyclan and the stranger.) anyway i'll talk more about this later i'm out of time.

conclusion

love u bye <3

[tsipasce]

Same Difference Ch. 13

A/N: sorry for the late upload for anyone following, I’ve been pretty lax on uploading on here bc of the low interaction with these posts (I think like 3 people read this, maybe lol). But I’m going to try and upload them here just in case. 

Chapters: 01  |  02 |  03 |  04 | 05  | 06 | 07 | 08 |  09 |  10 |  11 | 12

AO3 | FFN

 “We need to talk. Now.”

“Yes. That’s why we’re on the phone.”

“We don’t have time for games today. You need to come to the base immediately.”

She’d recognize that “not now, Nanami” tone anywhere. Whatever it was, it was serious. Switching gears mentally to brace for the impending shitstorm, she exhaled,” Give me 30 minutes.”

“20.”

“What? That’s not even realisti—” she stopped, hearing the phone click. Rolling her eyes, she watched her friend exit the post office and walk over to the car.

“So, I say we go to that new brunch place first and then—wait what’s wrong?” Hitomi pivoted recognizing her friend was much less enthused than when she’d left. Nanami turned to her, an apologetic look on her face. “The hospital has you on-call again, huh?”

“Duty calls, sadly.” She felt bad about lying, but knew she’d feel worse if Hitomi got caught up in her mess. “Though I don’t know how long it’ll take so we might be able to salvage the day.”

“No, it’s ok, I understand. Take your time, we can always hang tomorrow or later in the week. When do you need to be there?”

“… in 20 minutes.”

“That’s unrealistic.”

“That’s what I tried to tell hi—I mean them, but it’s an emergency. Mind dropping me off at my house?”

“You got it. I’ll drive, you watch for cops.” Before Nanami could protest, Hitomi screeched out of the parking lot and back down the road they came.

++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

 Waving bye to her friend, Nanami hurriedly grabbed her keys and work bag just in case the talk carried over to lab work. Running down to her car, she sped over to the base, basically rolling out of the car when she arrived as there were only 5 minutes to spare. Hearing a noise, she reflexively turned to look but continued running forward. Suddenly she felt herself run into a solid figure as she bounced back, falling onto her soon-to-be-late keester. Regaining her bearings, she looked up and saw an older gentleman in traditional attire, his hair slicked back and his face serious.

“Oh my gosh I am so sorry, I wasn’t watching where I was going,” she apologized, giving him an earnest look.

He paused for a beat before giving her a kind smile, offering his hand to help her up, “That’s alright miss, no need to apologize. Where are you off to in such a hurry anyway?”

Crap, how do I get out of this one… she strategized inwardly on how to answer the question discreetly without sounding rude. “Oh nowhere, I just have to… make a house call! I’m a doctor, and my patient’s a massive germaphobe; very needy, you see.” She laughed awkwardly, hoping he bought it.

At her last comment, she could’ve sworn she saw a look of recognition flash across his face, but figured it was her imagination. “Oh, I see. Well he’s a lucky man to have you. As such an attentive caretaker, I mean. I won’t hold you up any longer, have a nice day Dr… what did you say your name was?”

“I didn’t.” She smiled, “You have a nice day too!” She said as she continued her jog to the base. She looked back to see him waving, returning it as she rounded the corner. Well that was close.

Once at the front gate, the door opened before she knocked, an irritated Overhaul waiting on the other side. “What took you so long. I said 20.”

“And I was going to say that was unrealistic before you rudely hung up on me. Besides, I would’ve actually gotten here on time if not for your friendly neighbors. I don’t know how the HOA of this neighborhood decided to let you of all people in. Everyone else seems so nice.” She pouted.

“What are you rambling about?”

“Your neighbor? I ran into an old man outside—I didn’t tell him where I was going or why I was here, obviously—but he seemed nice, if not a tad nosey.”

At this she saw him pause, “… What did he say to you?” The question much meeker than the last.

“Uhm, I bumped into him by accident, so he just asked where I was going, told me to have a nice day... oh! Also, how lucky you are to have me. You know, obvious stuff.” His brows raised before she quickly clarified the last statement, “As a doctor! I told him I was your doctor. He was pretty nonchalant about the whole thing.”

Though he donned his usual mask, she could tell his features had softened at whatever he was thinking. She’d even bet there was a small smile forming, but at what she wasn’t sure, “Hm, I see. Well, there’s no use in loitering around, let’s go.”

“Well you’re the one that stopped but ok” she said under her breath. He turned, giving her a warning look as she shrugged, raising her hands in faux surrender.

They continued down the usual pathway in the underground base before reaching his office and passing it, going down a hallway she wasn’t familiar with. It gradually became much darker the further they went, and the air temperature felt as though it had dropped at least 10 degrees, almost causing her to shiver. After what felt like an indefinite amount of time they arrived at a door, but before Overhaul could reach the handle, it opened, a panicked Kurono standing in the doorway.

“He had a pill.”

Looking past him, Nanami could see the assailant from the night before. Though he was savagely beaten, it was apparent he’d killed himself with whatever pill was hidden in his mouth as foam was formed around it, his body still going through its final convulsions. Working in a large hospital, she’d seen her fair share of people dying, but to say it got any easier would be a half-truth. The vision was familiar, but it was still unpleasant, no matter who it was. In contrast, Overhaul seemed irritated for a second before realizing something and returning to his stoic expression.

“No matter, we got all we needed from him anyway. Follow me,” he directed at her as he left the room and Kurono to dispose of the body. Nanami somberly followed, mentally giving the man a moment of silence. Whatever happened, she knew the importance of remaining objective in the presence of death. There might come a time when she’d make some bad decisions herself—to put it ever so lightly— and she hoped whoever was there in her last moments wouldn’t relish in her death either. They arrived at the door of his office, the clicking of the handle rousing her from her thoughts. He sat down across from her on one couch as she sat on the other, now feeling a bit out of place in her casual attire.

“It seems you have a price on your head.”

“Hm?” Nanami squeaked, her face that of disbelief.

“The lackeys that tried to take you were sent by the head of the Okumura clan, a rival organization. He seems sure you have a unique ability and learning of our partnership only seemed to confirm this.”

“Bu…But I was so careful. I don’t talk to anyone about us, I take weird routes every time I come here, I always use the burner ph—“ she began frantically before he cut in.

“You were not at fault for this. One of the new recruits was abducted. He didn’t know much, but he gave enough information to pique their interest.”

“And what happened to him?”

He was surprised at the question, but answered anyway, “He was set free after the questioning.”

“Well where is he now? Maybe he can tell us something useful about them and what else they want.”

“He’s no longer with us.”

“… Like he quit?”

“…”

“Overhaul.”

“… As I said, he’s no longer with us.” They stared at each other, Nanami now knowing the “snitches get stitches” saying to be only half true. Something tells me stiches wouldn’t help him now… She sighed, his blank expression unwavering as he continued, “Also, there is no ‘us’ when it comes to you and I and the Okumura. You will stay here until this problem is solved.”

“I’m gonna do what now?”

“You heard me. Your apartment is no longer safe. Considering they probably expected to see their men return last night with you captured, they will undoubtedly send more to finish the job.”

She opened her mouth to speak before closing it again. She knew it wasn’t safe to stay at her place, but staying at the base was just a lot, especially if her assumption about not being able to leave was correct. “Ok, but I have work and a life. Am I just supposed to hide here and put all that on hold?”

“Would you rather put it on hold or have it all end?”

“…That’s not fair.”

“Most things aren’t.”

She shifted in her seat biting her lip, realizing she was losing the argument. Every counter she came up with she mentally shot down before speaking it. I could stay at Hitomi’s house? No, they’d just follow me there and attack her too, or worse… I could stay at home and defend my place? Except they wouldn’t stop coming. My place would be trashed and then the neighbors would find out...I could...

“I could go in myself and get them. It’s my head they’re after, I’ll just have to convince them it’s not worth the trouble.”

He gave her a pitiable look, knowing the suggestion was equal parts blind bravery and desperation, “Your training with Rappa has made you a capable fighter, but are you really prepared to kill another person, permanently? Dozens of them? Simply maiming them wouldn’t be enough, they’d keep coming until…” He paused as he saw her look down in defeat, her fists clenched in her lap, her jaw tightening. She was angry—mad as hell—but she knew he was right. She was a fighter, not a killer, and no amount of training could change that overnight. She knew the logical solution to the problem, but her nature wouldn’t allow her to solve it. Seated across from her, his head tilted as he gazed at her pensively. Overhaul couldn’t figure out why but seeing her so upset was… unpleasant. He wanted nothing more than to make it stop, though the motivation behind the action remained a mystery. “Dr. Watanabe,” He continued slightly softer than before, her fists unclenching for a moment at the change in tone, “Your strengths lie elsewhere. Strategically, it makes the most sense for you to be here. It will only be for two weeks.”

“Two weeks?” Nanami could tell he was trying, but the frustration with the situation lingered. Attempting to calm herself and accept reality, she finally managed to respond,” Can I at least get my stuff first?”

“Yes, but let’s be quick about it.”

“’Let’s?”

“You didn’t really think you were going alone, did you?”

“No!... Well, yes. Fine, let’s go.”

[yeahyeahbaby]

Finished my first game and game jam!

Link to my game Ahh, Crabs! I realized that I haven’t posted in a while, so I thought I would write about finishing my first game and game jam, and what my next plans are.  Get ready for a fucking novel lol. 

I entered the I Can't Draw But Want To Make A Game (Again)  game jam because I wanted to make a game. Before starting the jam, I’d thought about game development and 3D modeling on and off for about a year, but hadn’t started any projects. Last summer, I’d watched BlenderGuru’s series and made a render of a doughnut which was cool and did a few tutorials on the Unity learn site, but I didn’t do anything with those newly developed skills and eventually forgot most of what I’d learned.  I’m currently 24, going to be 25 in August, and I think a lot about how I spend my time, am I on the right path, what do I want out of life, etc. All of the big existential anxiety inducing questions. I work as a front-end web developer, its a great job, but I know that I don’t want to do web development forever.  Anyway, I’d recently started thinking about game development, and wanted to try committing myself again. Game development presents the opportunity for me to create something that combines all of my interests. Art, music, technology, story telling, world building, animation, etc. It’s also appealing to me because being an indie developer means being an entrepreneur. I know that I want a life where I’m my own boss. I want to decide what projects I work on and what takes priority. I want to build a creative life where I can support myself financially from my work.  I thought about how this time could be different from a year ago where I tried to get into game development, but never committed. I started off slow by creating small assets with MagicaVoxel while I tried to come up with ideas. This is when I remembered that game jams were a thing.  I found the game jam (not going to keep typing the name cuz its long as hell lol) on itch.io and was hesitant to enter. I was afraid of starting and committing to something only to let myself down when I didn’t finish.  I’d recently started journaling and was writing about this fear that I had. I realized as I was writing that I was stopping myself from trying something because of fear. That’s when I decided to commit to entering.  The great thing about game jams is that they take place over a set period of time and you’re usually given some kind of parameters. This was EXTREMELY helpful to me because I was able to quickly come up with an idea for the game. I knew that I only had two weeks to finish. Not two full weeks because of course I work full time and have other home chores to do. Plus ya girl likes to relax and watch anime ( I think at the time I was actually reading Hana Yori Dango aka Boys Over Flowers uwu).  So being given a set time period helped me to plan a semi-realistic scope for the game.  So I started to work on the game! I had a lot of fun making silly art and music. Because the mechanics of my game were also SUPER simple, I could easily find tutorials for everything that I wanted to implement. Even with the tutorials, I still had small hiccups as I worked my way around Unity and C#, but I was never stuck for more than a few hours.  Things were going great! And then.... I stopped working on the game.  I think I didn’t work on the game for like 4-5 days?? I got off track because of some personal stuff that I had to deal with. Once it was handled, I didn’t immediately get back to work. I wasn’t really motivated anymore and I was running out of time. I felt like I had wasted time already, I wasn’t going to make the deadline so why FUCKING TRY *sobs*.  BUT! Once again, journaling saved the day again lol.  I was writing about these feelings and saw how stupid I sounded. Why TF am I giving up before the jam ends???? BITCH!!!  So I got back to work.  I think at this point I had like 3-4 days left?? Something like that. I worked my butt off , literally until the deadline. I was rushing like crazy, super determined to finish. I was keeping up with a Trello board of things I wanted to add to the game, but a lot of things had to get cut. For example, the help button, a pause game function, cleaning up the mechanics, also wanted to add some pre-game comics, etc. BUT thankfully I was able to prioritize the absolute must haves to make the game playable and shippable lol.  So, the deadline was 12am CST Friday. 11:59pm CST rolled around. And I’m still waiting for my build so I can upload it. 12am came and it was too late. I didn’t make it. I was literally sobbing. I don’t remember the last time I cried so much. I was just feeling super emotional. I had a long day at work, just spent the last 8 hours crunching to finish my game to submit to the game jam, and even though it was finished, in the moment I felt like a failure because I couldn’t submit it to the jam. I know it may sound silly, like BITCH you did the thing! You made a game! You reached your goal! Buuuut I was still feeling like shit lol.  The build finished and I uploaded it it itch.io. I was sniffling around the discussion board on the jam’s page, feeling sorry for myself, and decided to post a link to my game and let everyone know that Hey! I finished this game but couldn’t submit it in time. pls check it out *sobs* WELL! Many blessings came my way, the creator of the jam was sending unique submission links to people who missed the deadline a little! They saw my post and sent me a submission link. Of course I submitted that hoe so fucking quick lmaooo  A wave of relief washed over my exhausted shriveled body. It was time for celebration and sleep because a bitch had to go to work the next day.  I’m so thankful for this experience. I saw something that I wanted to do, I committed, almost QUIT, BUT PUSHED THROUGH AND REACHED MY GOAL!  I feel so much confidence in myself and my ability to pursue and finish my creative projects, whatever they may be.  SO WHAT’S NEXT BITCH???? Well, thank you for asking uwu I’m going to make another game! This time, not part of a jam so I have to keep myself super accountable. I want to make a game where I can learn and experiment with dialogue, camera movement, art, and sound design. I think I’ve settled on an idea but need to give it some more thought before I commit and reveal the idea.  I’m hoping for about 30-45 minutes of game play?? And I want to work on this project for 6 months, so pretty much the rest of 2020. Might as well keep myself busy while the world burns :/ If anyone is reading this and made it this far, wow, i’m impressed. I wouldn’t have read this much lol I think I’m going to make a youtube video on this topic?? I mean, if I can write a novel about it might as well talk about it on youtube. It can be my first dev-log-ish type video for the yeahyeahbaby channel (that has yet to be created lol) Okay. Bye-bye now. 

[celestialallstars]

Episode #6: “Can i PLEASE get a blindside.” - Jared

ok so basically the game has been sooo quiet and ive like.  felt dead. idk. i had a breakdown last night bc of it and i cried on my couch (KNOW THERE WAS A LOT MORE THAN THIS LKSDJGKLDSGLS I WOULDNT CRY PURELY BC OF THAT) but yaaa and now im better but like the entire day i was throwing up in class (or like feeling anxious im exaggerating sorry) about going home.

i didnt want mo out but with that being said i didnt want anyone out?? after i mentioned to him that stephen/mo were targeting each other, rhys came to me with the idea that like him jared chloe and i should make a chat, and i was down for that bc it would secure my positioning and like ALSGKSDG who'd flip on an alliance THIS early.. right?? right..

chloe was really not talkative with me. stephen/jared were active so i appreciate that immensely. im just thrown off. i dont really know who i can or cant trust.

OK ALSO SIDE NOTE CHRIS SENT ME [IM NOT EXAGGERATING] 55+ MSGS SPILLING TEA ABOUT HOW THE TUATHA HAD AN OG ALLIANCE WITH EVERYONE BUT MITCH + MAYNOR - which i knew about but LASKGLDKS AHHHH. and he leaked that stephen wanted kori/bryce targeted and i leaked that to bryce to further stephens target. IM JUST SO MESSY LOL

also i kind of predicted a swap likeee omfg. and i dont know how i feel. i kind of felt safe on my tribe??? but like.. oh no. anyway, my tribe isnt super dominant in challenges or anything (compared 2 the other tribe who has bryce/stephen/drew), but i think we can win a lipsync since we have a woman, gay men, and a metrosexual male who has an outgoing personality (and i mean that in the nicest way obviously). IDK I HOPE WE WIN BC THAT TRIBAL WAS HORRIFIC AND I LOVE MO SO MUCH AND AHH.

ill probs give a video soon in more depth with what chris said. yalls deserve it.. oops period.

I HOPE YALL CAN FORGIVE ME. im eating hotdog. bye bye love u all.

Wow I like the whole tribe! Alyssa is probably my front runner of talking and honestly she's great! I am in her spell ahhhh but hey JARED is here too woo! I think at least with Mitch and Zach too I'll be safe but I'll see! This challenge could either go really well or really badly for us but I'm excited to do anything creativity!!

I absolutly love my tribe at the moment, i'm getting along well with alot of them except Kori who i haven't spoken to much at all but im confident in our abilities to win! Jared is talking a little bit about wanting the game to pick up a little bit and i agree to some extent however blindsiding someone just for the sake of a blindside isn't smart gameplay so im just gonna lay low nd continue making those strong bonds here there and everywhere to hopfully come out on top should we end up at tribal

Can i PLEASE get a blindside

________________________________________________________________

hi it's 6 am but rhys fucking filmed vertically so if we lose he automatically has my vote

I feel good but also scared. I dont think I'll do as good of a job as I hope, but it also is turning out decently so far. My biggest concern is time. With having work tomorrow, I can only do the editing on my lunch break of 90 minutes, then whenever i get home which probably wont be until 6, given the upload time that leaves me with about 3 hours in total. Hopefully I'll be able to work with Rhys and Jack's stuff, as i think it'll be easier for me to do it then. Regardless, I'm gonna be a zombie but LOL this is the second Wednesday in a row I stayed up late except this is not for school and instead of 3 hours, ima get 2 hours of sleep haha that is so sad and funny and heebee jeebee zoinks, alright goodnight

Two things: 1) there's really nothing quite like making a fool of yourself multiple times in a single org, just to be immune for one round. 2) i am horrible at looking for idols

So Matt just told me he thinks we’re gonna have a double tribal right before merge which is like ew I hate that throw it out please, speaking of throwing out uh Kori can go because he’s wearing on my nerves like yes we’re gonna get things done on time calm down please and thanks.

these people are actually delulu if they think that video is winning. no fucking way we are winning. time to go to tribal!

So the swap has happened, and I get what is almost probably my worst case scenario player-wise. All of my close allies, with the exception of Kori, are currently on Cyrena. Meaning that winning immunity isn't even really good, since it puts them in danger.

I think there's a way to make this bad situation good though. Getting to finally work with Michael, Matt, Loris, and Drew can actually be a blessing in disguise. If I get on their good sides now, they might clue me into their plans once merge rolls around. That's the hope, anyway. For now my goal is just to survive being swapped with a bunch of people I've barely spoke to!

The past 24 hours have been major toughie for me. Staying up late and then trying to manage editing a video, work, and time constraints, and I won't lie, its been exhausting, but I didn't want to let my tribe down, or anyone down I guess. A little ways through, I kinda felt pretty defeated and then learning at last minute it was due an hour before I predicted made me panic A LOT internally, but it does seem like the tribe likes it so if we do lose and if they do vote me out, I can look back at this and feel like I did something right.

Well a lots happened and to be honest at times life and this game move too quick for me to even remember if I've mentioned it. We swapped, and I'm trying to just keep myself afloat however I can.

The challenge was overly stressful and I have no idea if we'll pull it out. Editing has been so stressful and I've found new appreciation for the people that do it. I just hope whatever I whip together will just be enough so that I can breathe and really take stalk of my new situation.

So, I haven't been around a whole bunch recently. However I'm glad we didn't go to tribal, that could've been  a reason if my name came up. So I'm glad I have time to more cement my bonds on this tribe and keep my name out of peoples mouths.

We JUST WON IMMUNITY WOOHOO. I was kind of nervous with a music challenge considering the only other one I did previously I did not do the greatest in :P. Both videos were amazing and im so glad Eve and Jones's mom liked ours significantly greater than the other one! As far as my position is concerned, I am reunited with Jared and our relationship is still strong I think so that's good. Stephen I am HOPING will be ok by just latching on to Kori at least for premerge. Those two are still the ones I trust the most, but I also like Alyssa Chris and Zach. I WISH i could connect more with jack, but i feel like every time we play together it gets more difficult to hold a conversation, so that's a yikes. Jared myself and stephen are diligently working on the idol search, but it's likely already found. I'm pretty sure there are too many components for someone to just find it by themselves

WELL. Im a target tonight! God we really do love that for me. We really do. Kori, eat my fucking ass. You leave me on read all the time. And then you have the NERVE. THE ACTUAL NERVE. to be like "omg stop slipping in my dm's!" Boo if you didn't leave me on read constantly then maybe i would actually want to speak to you! an actual moron. And then STEPHEN HAS THE FUCKING AUDACITY to me like "ya lol i'll be at tribal i'll make the decision between you and Kori at tribal!". BOI. THAT IS NOT HOW YOU GET TRUST IN SOMEONE. Its fucking ridiculous. Thank god Michael is in my corner, hopefully drew and bryce too. I am NOT getting 15th right now, no way. I am BETTER than this. i am going to make it work, tim gunn style. maybe its time to break the fajitas and channel their energy once again

Why do I go on the initiative literally ever? I'm clearly bad at it, I wasn't even remotely thinking things through and I SHOULD have let Stephen or someone else suggest someone but no I had to be mildly greedy and wanna send home Matt whom I barely DM.

I already flopped editing the video, and now here I am flopping the social/stategy game that I love playing supposedly.

Of course I tried reaching out to Michael and Drew FOOLISHLY because I wanted to build trust and maybe work with them. So naturally Michael tells Matt because ofc they'd be close as would Drew probably since he and Michael have been together since Day 1. As it stands I'm stuck praying Loris is gonna vote with me and it just sucks because I'm so bad at this game.

I'm trying to keep a cool head right now because there's still time. Stephen and I are trying to work logistics, see if we need to switch the vote to say Michael in case of an idol, but I'm not sure Loris/Bryce would be on board for that.

There's a pretty good chance that I'm definitely dead. But I'ma fight to the bitter end!

Today I learned from Stephen that Kori is in some dangerous water. He I guess said Matt's name to Michael who told Matt and now them and Drew are voting Kori. However Bryce and Stephen and perhaps Loris are all voting Matt. Now this is good if it works because honestly that group having to endure their numbers dwindling is good for my game. It only leaves Jack and Alyssa but I think we better be careful because I can see both of them slipping through the inevitable war zone that is gonna be happening.

Today's been a pretty informative day for me. After losing the immunity challenge by a hair, I was worried because I didn't think I had bonded very well with my current tribe through One World, luckily for me, that doesn't seem to be their biggest concern at the moment.

During the initial stages of the vote, I talked to Kori and the two of us decided Matt would be the easiest target to take out. I was leaning towards voting Matt because we hadn't talked very much, so hearing Kori was on board right away simplified things for sure. Bryce and Loris both seem to be on board with it too so I shouldn't have anything to worry about at this point.

In the morning, things got a whole lot more complicated. Matt found out he was the target through Michael, and began his campaign to get Kori out instead of himself. I'm not entirely sure why Michael decided to do this, but it doesn't make much of a difference at this point. Matt campaigned to me, and I sorta pretended to be on the fence. I was listening to what he said, but Kori is realistically one of my closest allies, there's no way I'm voting him out to side with people I had just met.

Once campaign season got under way, I had a conversation with Chris. Chris tells me that on original Orfeo, him, Loris, and Zach believed there was an alliance of Chloe/Sharky/Drew/Michael formed. This explains not only why Sharky was seen as an easy boot on swap-Tuatha, but also why Michael wants to keep Matt instead of Kori. With Chloe re-joining after tribal, him/Drew/Chloe/Matt would form a tight majority. Without Matt, they're a minority.

I proposed an idea to switch the vote from Matt to Michael or Drew. I said it was because I was worried about an idol, but this alliance is the real reason I wanted to do it. However, Kori, Loris, and Bryce are comfortable with the status quo and since it's not my neck on the line I didn't feel the need to push too hard.

Me, Kori, and Bryce now also have an alliance with Loris, which is cool? I haven't gotten very close with Loris yet but he seems like a smart player tied to Chris and Zach which spells good things for us working together in the future. Assuming I survive this vote and have a future, of course.

hi I think I might make it past final 15 that’s nice umm... I suggested an alliance of me Bryce Stephen Kori to counter the potential power of chloe Matt Michael and drew once chloe joins our tribe because my brain is massive. but now we’re like scared for idols . scary shih anyways like how r u I’m good.

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oh huh tribes r gonna be even again next round... so I have to make this conf by default just in case of a you know what wait no anna u said no more 24 hour challenges QUEEN ... thank god I can’t be bothered to delete this so she’s being SENT

Right now there's so many things running through my head with the introduction of Matts vote steal, because realistically i could convince him to give to me or i could keep him around as a potential shield. I don't want to do it to the guy but also a vote steal could shift the tides of the game in my favour later down the line. so it's a difficult decision and one id rather have more time to contemplate.

Wooo ok operation vote steal is a go and next round we’ll be swimming in green hopefully but with one world sis og tribe lines just ain’t it!

God im over this tribal. Like ugh these people really are under Kori's mist so like im probably going home. Do I think i might be able to survive? a small glimmer of hope says yes, but i'm not confident. God im just... so annoyed at this. Im clearly on the outs here and I just HOPE i can pull through i just am so scared. I know if i do leave though that I have fought my damn hardest to stay tonight. Im trying to think of the positives because its hard to do so because im being sad atm.. UGH. the fajitas really have failed me tonight, their light has dimmed and their guidance is no more. i am now with the darkness. we r one.

Oh my fucking god my heart is breaking. Matt is basically in such a deep hole he's going to go home, unless he plays an idol. And Alyssa has an idol. And she doesn't think it's smart to use it on him because Michael says he's just gonna go home next round. His social game hasn't been up to snuff and they're gonna boot him regardless, so she wants to keep us with power and let him go. And I agree with her. Which kills me. I'm usually able to just be a robot when it comes to this like yes I will make the smarter decision if it means I'll be emotionally torn, and this is such an instance. Luckily, it's not my idol to give up. Yes Alyssa says it's "our" idol but it's her call end of the day. I just... fuck. This is all stars man. And I'm actually starting to feel, for once.

Well it's about an hour before tribal and at least on it's surface it would seem Matt is going. I'm not confident though because any number of things COULD happen. I'm hoping there's no idol play, just because I feel like pre-merge just isn't a good look for me.

If Matt does pull something off, then kudos to him, and if it's me that'd make this my final confessional for the season. I've had such an amazing time playing and while I feel like I've been playing a lower key game on purpose I feel like I'm doing what I can to really come into my own. I hope the bonds I've made are gonna stick and that everything works out for us.

But if it doesn't I guess I'll have to find a way to be ok with that. This has been such a unique All-Stars experience so far, and I hope I can take what I've gotten from it and make myself better for it. (Also highkey hopefully this isn't my last confessional and I'm getting sentimental for no reason.)

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Kori is voted out 4-3.

[chronically-angelic-transripts]

ACIV: Halloweekend 2017 (Oct 27-29)

Hello everyone. My sister lost my glasses. I cannot find them I think I'm going to have to go to school without glasses today. And I'm very dizzy. I haven't taken my pills yet though so that might be why I'm dizzy. But I think it might also be the glasses thing but it also might just be I'm freaking dizzy for no reason. I ate breakfast, my pills are all lied out over there so I just have to take them I just haven't yet. I'm working on the captions for yesterday's vlog if you haven't seen it go watch it. Alright. Ima keep working so. Bye. Guys I spilled one of my pill bottles. They're all over the floor everywhere I don't know. I don't know where they all went. This is a catastrophe. NO DON'T FALL OVER AGAIN! Okay Ima put you... alright I'm going to try to finish cleaning this up. So I got to the school... it was locked. So according to the official rules you only have to go on Fridays if you didn't get stuff done during the regular week and I guess you have to sign up for that so I'm just going to have to talk to my teacher on Tuesday. I don't know. I don't know what's going on. So it is 3 pm on Friday and I don't want to die. So I'd say it's going pretty good this new schooling thing. Normally Thursdays are just the absolute worst. They're just the worst things. Because when I was in regular schooling Thursday was the culmination of the 28 hours of just walking around and taking notes and just repetitive repetitive repetitive and stressful stuff. And that was 28 hours being all just combined into one day. On Friday it's like a bunch of hours still but then at the end of the day you're free for two days. On Thursday it's just been so long and you just need to stop and you just...yeah. Thursdays were always the worst for me but yesterday was fine. I wish I'd have done this last year. Seriously. Alright bye. Hello all I have nerve pain and it hurts a lot more when I move it so I just sling it all up in a pretty little scarf. It still hurts though. It just feels like there's lightning going from my shoulder to my hand. I think that it's nerve pain but you can never be too sure so. But yeah it hurts...a lot and I don't want to move it. 'cause it hurts...a lot. Ok Ima go for now. Hey guys guess what? I found mah glasses actually I made my sister find them for me but they've been found so. Ok so at this point I am pretty much immobile with everything but this arm and my legs. 'cause if I move any part of my torso it's gonna move this arm and that hurts really bad. I'm also getting a little bit of the nerve pain in my leg but its's bearable. It's fine. But this one, I move it I start sobbing and I start getting really nauseous from the pain so I'm trying to avoid that. This weekend is going to be...I'm going  to be at a place where I won't have my laptop and I'm possibly not going to have wifi so it will be a weekend long vlog. And I will upload it on Monday. So I'm in the hospital I don't want to call too much attention to myself. There's nobody in here but I'm whispering because I don't want them to think I'm talking to myself. But yeah my nerve pain is super bad right now. I'm like scared to move my arm it hurts so bad. But yeah its like five in the morning and I couldn't sleep because it hurts so. yeah. Here we are. Ok so I'm already home it's been like an hour. I'm kinda glad for that though because last time I was there I was there for like four hours. So they just gave me a real sling and a prescription that I won't be able to get until the pharmacy opens in like three hours but I'm hoping that will help. So yeah. I'm going to try to go to sleep and I'll check in with you guys later. Vlog update finally. Featuring kitties because the friend we're staying at's house they have seven cats and nine kids. So yeaah they had a small fire here so we're helping them clean up the soot from their stuff. We were supposed to leave at like 9:30 this morning but there were a lot of setbacks including our car wouldn't start and then we got to a train and it was just a lot of stuff. I'm expecting not to be able to film in a quieter room like this all the time so there will be pictures and narrations later instead of updates like this so yeah. *mumbling I can't understand* But yeah. Ima go play music and play Minecraft. I didn't bring my allergy meds and I didn't take them this morning either. So now I've got the sniffles and running eyes. Fantastic. Okay so I am here and I am passing out candy. The first people who came up this little girl was really excited that a princess was giving her candy and they're in the back of like a truck in a hay ride and so she drives away and she goes "See you later princess!" and I thought it was the cutest darn thing. So that kind of made my day. So just wanted to clarify, I'm technically supposed to be a queen but princess is fine too. It's getting to be a little bit of a lull here I don't know if it's supposed to be over after n hour I'm not sure I'm seeing some people way down there but I don't know. I just texted someone to as them about when it's over. But yeah. I'm having fun except it's freezing cold out here and I'm barely exaggerating. Yesterday the windchill was 34 Fahrenheit and I believe that is about 1 Centigrade. Oh jeez it's so cold. Alright I got people coming up so goodbye. You like my kitty tattoo? Ok so there are no sidewalks in this neighborhood so I figured common courtesy is to take the bowl of candy up to the people in their car because they drive their car around. Some people were even doing hayrides they took their riding lawnmower, hook up a trailer, get some hay back in there. So I figured common courtesy  you know? Go up pass it out they don't even have to get out of the freaking car. Apparently nobody else in the history of humanity does this 'cause they were like raving about it and I was like "Wait does nobody else do this?" One lady even said I should've had a tip jar because it was so nice and I was like "Is this not normal?"Like this should be a regular thing people. Get with the program other people. Ok so I got a temporary tattoo. It's a nice little kitty. OMG there's a kitty in here. KITTY! Anyway yup. And people with awesome costumes got two pieces. There was a Wednesday Addams who got two peices. There was a harry potter who got two pieces. There was a Hermione with like everything. She had the time turner, she had the sweater, she had the scarf. Well she didn't have the scarf because the already had a time turner but she was decked out and I was like "You get two". There were some other ones I can't quite remember but yes. Alright. Bye-bye. We made it home! I'm really tired but I decided to edit the vlog before I go to bed so I can... 'cause the way I'll do it is I'll edit it, start uploading it, go to sleep so when I wake up it's already all uploaded so I don't have to wait on anything. And then I just do the captions and then I publish it. I really like this it's adorable. There are more too. Here I'll show you. There's a mummy, a witch, and a pumpkin and they are all so cute. So yes we made it home *mumble* I had a lot of fun passing out candy. And I made a new friend. I'm so sorry my sister is snoring in the background because I share a room with my sister. I made a new friend we hadn't really gotten a chance to talk before but I could tell we were going to be friends but we had never really gotten the chance to talk. But then after we got done trick or treating we got pizza and then we both sat down on the same couch and had pizza and we talked for like three hours straight. So yeah. I had fun. It is actually 12:30 A.M. Peace out. Goodnight.