#anyways ace lives in my heart always so fuck marineford too

[the-babbering-dabber]

Ok so I psychoanalyzed Ace

Major depression, generalized anxiety, likely survivor's guilt, moderate to high suicidality, PTSD, (I believe) a form of bipolar, eating disorder is probable, effects of disorganized childhood attachment, and narcolepsy

putting extensive deep diving below cut bc its long

CW Mention and go into disorders listed above as well as Ace's inner thoughts, so take care of yourselves, loves 🩷

Ace collapses his worth into his role of a caretaker and older brother to his “bungling kid brother,” Luffy. While he has his own goals, aspirations, and justifications behind his action, Luffy is on his mind often–he asks folks all over if they’ve seen him, showing them his wanted poster and asking them to tell Luffy he’s looking for him. When interacting with Luffy’s crew–and despite being obviously close to Luffy–Ace keeps his distance, refusing provisions, physically distancing himself from the group during travel and rest, keeps quiet unless absolutely necessary, he speaks with Luffy, or he thanks (and apologizes to) them for taking care of his brother. While they call him ‘Big Brother,’ he’s cautious to intrude or take up space.

He respects Luffy’s autonomy, letting him fight his own battles, face the consequences of his antics, and interact with the world around him however he so chooses–only stepping in when necessary, directly provoked/addressed, or it concerns him. Ace is proud of his brother and the family he created around him yet is hesitant to mingle with that part of Luffy’s world. He clearly loves his brother and knows him well, anticipating his behavior before it happens or completely understanding him from a glance at a smile.

While they share a bottomless appetite, an affinity for sentimental hats, and an impulsive perceived cluelessness (actual genius?), Ace is a far cry from his brother in terms of manners and temperament. Luffy wears his emotions on his face, hiding nothing. Ace, however, dons a social mask, projecting a false self onto those around him. The world sees a heroic, fearless, invulnerable pirate. Ace, himself, has incredibly low self-esteem, believing himself a “demon child, son of the devil” deserving death just for being born, constantly needing to earn love and permission to take up space. Some of his first and last words to Luffy expressed shock and disbelief that he was loved, and and wanted alive’ filled with gratefulness and thankfulness of being deemed worthy of love.

His relationship with himself and his father (whom he never met) is a messy combination of love and hate & idealization and anger. While he also seeks the One Piece (his father’s legacy) and adopts a life of a top, famed pirate, he despises the man (and himself) for his monstrous nature (of being free). He even takes his mother’s maiden name, leaving behind anything tying him to his father.

Ace not only focuses on interpersonal relationships with his brother, father, and adoptive father, he defines himself by it. Every ideal he holds of himself is characterized by his feelings and images associated with important people in his life. Ace himself is full of fear, envy, anger and guilt, often projecting an apathetic, bored, or smug & confident expression and manner when there’s insecurity, self-hatred, and perhaps envy over his brother’s freedom. 

In terms of his childhood, it's characterized by abuse, neglect, and certainly instability marked by fear, distress, distrust, and confusion. Typical of adult children of disorganized attachment theory, Ace does portray the textbook example: anxiety, fear of abandonment or upsetting those close, self hatred, erratic or impulsive behavior, emotional dysregulation. Evidenced by the start of Ace and Luffy’s brotherhood and his acceptance into Whitebeard’s crew, Ace craves intimacy and love, yet rejects it out of fear; putting up walls to avoid vulnerability. Throughout the Alabasta Arc, Ace either keeps his distance from the groups or is exceptionally close to Luffy��another key feature of disorganized attachment. He either distances himself from the group–including Luffy–or runs right up to him, arm wrestles, or provides for and protecting Luffy and co., etc. Ace mostly avoids others, sitting on the side, walking at the end of the group multiple steps apart, or not partaking in discussion, etc. Despite Ace clearly wanting to spend time with Luffy (e.g. asking literally anyone if they’ve seen this random man, telling people to tell said random man he’ll be in town XYZ for X number of days in probably…every town he’s left; the poster child of ‘look at my little brother, isn’t he great’, giving him the vivi card, etc) he doesn’t actually interact much with him when around others. In fact, the only thing he consistently talks with the Straw Hats about is Luffy. He thanks them for looking after his bungling kid brother, apologizes for his “ineptness [and]...trouble”, and requests they continue to take care of him. Despite Ace can be seen smiling at Luffy’s actions quite often, the very image of a proud big brother. Perhaps he just considers himself luck to be allowed in his presence, so why push it?

This boy, man does he have major depression and risk factors of moderate to high suicidality. He often has an apathetic or bored expression or tone, lack of affect (emotionality), binge eating (alternatively, just a large appetite), low self-esteem, anger, suicidal thoughts, low effort in staying alive (i.e. not caring if you die: “It doesn’t matter if I live long, what only matters is that I live today.”), poor hygiene possibly (some folks have taken to calling him greasy), guilt, pessimism, emptiness, worthlessness, insomnia or hypersomnia.

Hypomania or mania are characterized by a variety of symptoms, here are some Ace displays: extreme confidence, grandiosity, irritability, decreased focus or attention, poor judgment, impulsivity, risk-taking, and overactivity and decreased/irregular sleep). Ace’s behavior, to me, makes me wonder if he has a form of bipolar disorder–irregular periods of depression and hypo/mania (hypomania is a less intense form of mania). Stress and instability in childhood–along with child adversity–are common contributing etiological factors to BP 1 and/or 2. In my unprofessional yet degreed opinion, it’s likely he has a form of bipolar.

Now, something to consider is PTSD or complex PTSD (i.e. multiple traumas)–it’s important to note that not everyone who experiences trauma develops PTSD–in fact, oftentimes PTSD does not develop besides an acute period of symptoms. However, many do, especially if they experience trauma during their childhood. Experience to an actual or threatened death, serious injury, or sexual violence paired with recurrent intrusive symptoms of memories & thoughts, nightmares, flashbacks, and cue reactivity, avoidance, distress & demoralizations, and heightened reactivity is the official diagnostic model for PTSD. Anxiety and depression, paired with hyperreactivity (If we get funky, we can include observation haki in this), protectiveness when Luffy and co are in danger/putting himself on the line, as well as persistent thoughts of self-disdain drilled into him by others since early childhood doesn’t paint a pretty picture. While children are incredibly resilient, repeated threat, abuse (verbal and physical), neglect, unstable childhood, and even low SES (i.e. homeless jungle orphan), it’s likely he has also developed PTSD. It goes without saying (although I'm saying it), folks with trauma are often high in neuroticism. meaning, he's struggles with emotional instability and regulation and behavioral regulation, experiencing negative emotions (i.e. anxiety, worry, fear, anger, frustration, envy, jealousy, pessimism, guilt, depressed mood, and loneliness) in high and intense degrees.

Another marker of trauma presents itself at Marineford. Folks with PTSD have an over active sympathetic system (i.e. adrenaline, stress, fight or flight). Ace’s body goes into fight mode, protecting his brothers, others, and lastly himself. He may be overattentive and over-response to threats (e.g. overreacting to simple threats with…say…a massive fist of fire). When, however, a large and serious threat presents itself—like if you’re facing execution–the body is biologically unable to react, having been worn down by repeated reactions of the sympathetic nervous system without appropriate stimuli. This may partly explain why he wanted Luffy to leave him there, backed up by self-deprecation and suicidality, Ace was not able to imagine a reality where he wanted to or could physically or mentally survive. There's most likely some survivor's guilt as well with believing Sabo to be dead. That can fuck you up big time, adding to feelings of worthlessness, despair, and anxiety over protecting Luffy and knowing he's alive.

Now, touching on Ace’s narcolepsy, there is a possibility of hallucinations. While, to my knowledge, there isn’t any substance to this symptom, sensory hallucinations are common–often mistaken for nightmares–one may feel as if someone’s touching you, you could hear sounds or words (perhaps something like ‘devil child’, ‘monster’s spawn,’ in his case) or—more rarely–seeing people near you or lying in your bed. Narcolepsy, as with many chronic conditions, has the sneaky side effect of increasing mental health issues, including depression, anxiety (of which he’s been noted to exhibit signs of), bipolar disorder (which is something I theorize he may have), and feelings especially of shame, isolation and worthlessness.

So to oversimplify and summarize:

Ace both Internalizes and Externalizes in terms of coping, experience, and response, mostly internalizing.

Ace presents with symptoms of major depressive disorder, generalized anxiety, bipolar, and traits of PTSD. Circumstances of his childhood and the relationship with his identity contributed to externalizing, antagonist, antisocial behavior (i.e. impulsivity, boredom proneness, aggression at times, alienation of self, rebelliousness, and risk taking. His excessive politeness, manners, and apologies on Luffy’s behalf are possibly externalizing traits as well. Ace’s likely diagnosis of narcolepsy exacerbates feelings of guilt, shame, worthlessness, and isolation, working off of disorganized childhood attachment, depression, anxiety, suicidality, and manic periods. It’s possible that he may have a sort of eating disorder as well, he binges eating (which one could attribute to likeness with Luffy) while exhibiting control and content in other situations. 

also, unrelated but not, i hc that sabo totally experiences psychosis. gotta have thought disorder and high neuroticism. like, there's gotta be some kind of hallucinatory experience and neuro damage from the explosion. maybe i'll do him next. my only original works 💀

Ace draws his worth and ‘permission’ to exist from how helpful he can be and how little he takes up space. He likely craves relationships but has trust issues and fear of rejection and hate. While it’s unlikely based on presentations in media, Ace could possibly experience hallucinations of likely the auditory sort–attributed to narcolepsy and PTSD.

Now it is worth drawing attention to comorbidity (i.e. multiple disorders existing bc of shared symptoms and bidirectional intensification). many disorders mimic others. for example, autism and bipolar may be mimicked by c/PTSD. presence of psychosis may concurrently run with PTSD or possibly manic episodes, not meaning however, that there's a schizophrenic spectrum disorder present. basically, diagnostics don't mean much in the grand scheme of things. what we look at in some forms of clinical psych is symptomology and main issues (e.g. distress, intense self hatred, anxiety and guilt, etc) rather than well defined buckets of labels.

tagging @moikey-croikey bc they wanted this and I was already doing like half of it for a class. i just added diagnostic criteria. sorry for the extra day wait mate, exam kicked my ass

[imasimpforshanks]

omg I am so sorry I completely forgot to put the alphabet 😅 E C J M T for Shanks for the angst alphabet! thank you and sorry for the mistake! ❤️

Angst Alphabet - Shanks

a/n: hiii! Thank y’all for requesting! To the second anon, I went with Shanks (I hope that’s ok!!!) 💗💗💗

LOLOL THIS MY HUSBANDDDDD 💍😍

A-Accident (would they blame themselves if you died in an accident?)

It would depend on how much he felt he could have prevented it. However, Shanks understands all to well just how cruel the world can be. He can’t constantly be in control of everything, so although it would be devastating, he would have to realize that this is reality.

B-Break up (How would they break up with you?)

Shanks would use the excuse that he is a Yonko. He’s no good for you, and you deserve so much better than an infamous pirate who only brings danger. While these are just excuses - ways to make breaking up with you easier - he really would be speaking from the heart. Shanks has always felt this way but never voiced it, but now it’s finally time to let you go.

C-Crying (how would they make you cry?)

He leaves for long periods of time and refuses to you along. You know he’s only doing it for your safety, but it hurts that he doesn’t think you’re strong or responsible enough to join his crew on their voyages (note: he doesn’t actually think you’re not strong or responsible �� his pirate life is just extremely dangerous, even as a yonko).

D-Death (how would they react to your death?)

He’s seen and experienced a lot of death in his life so he’d be a able to cope with it a little better than others would. Even so, your death would still be heart-breaking (he would mourn privately though). Now, if he literally saw you get killed in front of him then RIP to the person who killed you because they will be the one/s to die next.

E-Emotion (what is one emotion they would try to hide the most and how would they do it?)

Shanks is quite an open book. If he’s angry everyone knows. If he’s happy everyone knows (etc.). But, if I really had to pick one… I suppose it would be sadness or grief. He feels obligated to put on a front for his crew (although they can see right through it). He tends to let out his sadness and grief when he’s alone.

F-Fight (do you two ever fight? How big are the fights? What do you fight about? Etc.)

He tends to crack jokes before your fights can escalate into anything too serious. Sometimes it’s intentional, but other times it’s just his personality shining through. And rather than serious fights there’s just a lot of teasing and taunts between the two of you.

If you were to have a serious fight, it would be about both of your safety (As would most fights with any of the One Piece characters).

G-Guilt (what is the biggest thing they feel guilty about?)

More often than not, Shanks finds himself able let go of a LOT of shit. But the one thing he can’t seem to stop feeling guilty about is his failure to show up to Marineford on time. He knows he’s not directly responsible for Ace’s death, but that doesn’t stop the overwhelming guilt. If only he had gotten there a few minutes earlier.

H-Heartbreak (what would cause them pain in the relationship? How would they deal during a break-up?)

Coming back to you after each voyage is something he always looks forward to. However, that happiness is short-lived when he realizes he has to leave again in a few weeks. It’s always so painful having to say goodbye again.

I don’t think he would be too different during a break-up. Perhaps he may crack a few less jokes, but other than that, his personality and demeanour when around others remains the same. It isn’t until he’s alone that he lets his smile fall.

I-Injured (how would they react if you are badly injured?)

Undoubtedly, he’d be concerned, but he knows you’ll pull through (you have to pull through). So, after that initial concern has passed, he’ll be feeling all types of pissed off. Whoever, or whatever, injured you will pay – and honestly, he may not even deal the perpetrator himself (his crew is already on it - you are like family to them).

J-Jealousy (what do they do if they are jealous?)

I honestly think Shanks is just the type of person to just tell you if he’s jealous. But he wouldn’t say “uhh I’m feeling a little jealous” or anything along those lines – no. Instead, Shanks puts on a little pout and does a massive fake sigh until you finally ask him what’s wrong. That’s when he hits you with the “I guess my attention just isn’t enough for you”, and you’re like “HUH?? MF WHAT?” He’s literally such a child HAHA.

But, if there’s one particular person he really does not like you being around and they won’t leave you alone, then he is not at all opposed to just shoving his tongue down your throat right in front of them. That’ll definitely get the message across.

K-Kill (would they kill for revenge?)

Shanks may be a goofy and laid-back individual, but he will resort to violence if the situation calls for it. So, it is very likely that Shanks would kill for revenge. Maybe he wouldn’t necessarily do it himself. But, if he orders it, it’ll definitely happen.

L-Loss (what is their greatest loss?)

Gol D. Roger’s death was probably one of the greatest losses in Shanks’ life. Roger is the reason Shanks is a pirate today, and young shanks was absolutely broken by his death.

(hard to write much for this one seeing as shanks’ character is still quite a mystery to us!)

M-Mistake (what is the worst mistake they ever made with you?)

One time he completely forgot a date night that you spent SO LONG planning. It wasn’t just any date night either. It was a date you planned on his final night before him and his crew had to leave again for a while. You spent hours waiting for to show up, but he was nowhere to be seen. Finally, he showed up at your place, breath reeking of booze. You just looked at him and it hit him (he was like “OH SHIT”). He started apologizing profusely. He didn’t try to make any excuses, he completely owned up to being a shitty boyfriend. But, the moment he knew he had well and truly fucked up was when you just nodded and waved good night to him, wishing him safe travels – you didn’t cry, get visibly angry you just left alone. Shanks knew that was far worse than any yelling.

N-Nightmares (how often do they have them? What are they about? How do they deal with it?)

I literally am not joking when I say this but I think Shanks practically drinks till he passes out so even if he were to get nightmares he wouldn’t wake up LMAOOOOOOOOOOOO (ok maybe I am joking with this one but also kind of not).

In all seriousness though, I don’t think Shanks has nightmares very frequently. It’s gotten to the point where any fear or things of that matter that could be nightmares for him, have become so common in his life that he almost finds it not frightening to think about.

O-Outrage (how and why would they get mad at you?)

He would get mad at you for placing yourself in unnecessary danger. He’d call you stupid and irresponsible, even though he doesn’t really mean any of those things – it’s just the image of him potentially losing you forever is replaying in his mind and it absolutely terrifies him.

P-Past (what has happened in your relationship that changed the way you saw each other?)

You saw him get serious serious once before. Like the kind of serious where he uses his conquerors haki and everything. It definitely caused a bit of a change in your relationship as it was terrifying to witness. You’ve always known Shanks was strong and intimidating when needed, but that moment really showed you what it meant when people called him an “emperor of the sea”.

Q-Quality (what is their most dangerous/toxic quality?)

Not wanting to openly express his sadness and grief in front of others can be a very unhealthy quality. Shanks doesn’t allow himself good enough opportunities to express him emotions in a safe and healthy manner.

R-Rejection (how would they react to you rejecting their confession (or the other way around))

(First of all WHY WOULD ANYONE WANT TO REJECT SHANKS ANYWAY LIKE HUBBA HUBBA I LOVE HIM ANYWHOOOOOOOOO…..) Shanks is the type to just shrug it off. He’d be a little disappointed, bc c’mon the hottest most amazing person he’s ever known just turned him down! But he knows not everything in life goes how you want it to. Sometimes you win, sometimes you lose, and this just happens to be one of the things he’s lost. So ultimately, he’ll just shrug it off. (he will definitely get teased by his crew though).

S-Scars (battle or self-inflicted)

Shanks has no self-inflicted wounds. But he does have a scar across his left eye given to him by Blackbeard. He also has a missing arm which he (heroically) sacrificed as he saved lil Luffys life (does a missing arm even count as a scar?)

T-Trust (have they ever broken your trust?)

He’s never given you any reason to not trust him. He’s always open and honest with you. Well, as honest as he can be without placing you in any danger. Trust was something needed from the get-go of your relationship because he would be gone for long periods of time. The two of you wouldn’t be able to last without trust.

Oh, also if shanks ever did do anything to break your trust you best believe his crew will beat his ass (especially Benn). You’re family to them.

U-Urge (how badly do they want to see you after you guys separated?)

My god does he want to see you. He would give his other arm just to be right by your side in an instant. He’s gone for weeks, sometimes months, at a time. Shanks loves his crew, they’re a lively bunch and he trusts them with his life, and vice versa. But they’re not you. They don’t provide him with that same feeling of home that you do. Sure, this could be fixed if he let you join the crew on their journeys, but he absolutely cannot place you in that kind of danger. You’re already in enough danger as it is simply being in a relationship with him.

V-Vicious (what do they do when they lash out on you?)

Rather than lashing out at you, Shanks tends to give you the silent treatment. He looks at you without a word and just turns away. He does this in an attempt to make you feel guilty and as if everything is your fault.

W-Weak (what makes them feel weak how do they try to avoid it?)

There isn’t much that makes Shanks feel weak. But, being unable to be near his s/o is one of the few things that does make him feel weak. It’s a constant struggle between wanting to have them around him constantly, but also not wanting to place them in any danger. Ultimately, he decides that not placing them in danger is the better choice, despite how much it pains him.

X-X-ray (what do they hate and show it most obviously?)

Shanks can handle being picked on and ridiculed himself, but he will not tolerate that sort of behaviour towards his friends. The second someone goes after a friend (or someone else he cares about) they are done for.

Y-Yearn (what is one thing that they want but can’t have?)

LMFAOOOOOO WHY DID MY BRAIN AUTOMATICALLY THINK “his arm back” OOP-

I’M SORRY BUT I LITERALLY CAN’T THINK OF ANYTHING ELSE OTHER THAN HIS ARM HAHAHAHAHAH

Z-Zero (what do they do/say in your dying moments?)

He’d try to crack a few jokes to at least help you feel better. Other than that, he just tries to make the most of your final moments together.

[chenziee]

Dine and Dash (chapter 1)

[Read on AO3 or under the cut]

Can you believe it's been 11 years since Ace was saved from Marineford? Yeah, me neither. Still feels like fucking yesterday. So happy they managed save him in the end :) #ForeverInDenial

I took the opportinity of the anniversary of chapter 574 being published to finally write the obligatory Everybody is alive and nothing hurts AU that we all deserve, especially a certain beautiful, precious fire boy <3 (And yes, I know the anniversary was yesterday, I fucked up but shhh)

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Relationships: ASL brothers, Law/Luffy

Rating: Teen and Up

Words: 1894

Tags: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Everybody Lives, Nothing Hurts, Portgas D. Ace Lives, Fluff, Fluff and Humor, lawlu being cute, Protective Sabo (One Piece), Protective Portgas D. Ace, best big bros protective of their innocent baby bro, ASL Brothers, what else uhhh, i might add more as i go, Donquixote "Corazon" Rosinante Lives

Summary: When the three brothers who had once terrorized the Grey Terminal as well as the Goa Capital come together, nothing good can come of it. Even though they're not children anymore. Or maybe especially since they're not children anymore.

Or; the obligatory Everybody Is Alive And Nothing Hurts AU

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When Ace jumped from his raft up onto the railing of Luffy’s ship, he honestly didn’t expect someone to be standing right where he landed. He couldn’t blame Nami for screaming like she did in favor of a normal greeting, and it was also no surprise when Luffy’s voice came only a second later, asking what was wrong in a voice full of alarm. What was surprising, however, was when Luffy’s head popped out from behind what looked like a large polar bear sleeping right on the deck of the Thousand Sunny. Seriously, Luffy and his tendency to pick up the weirdest things.

"Hey, Luffy," Ace greeted, waving at his brother.

A bright smile appeared on Luffy's face when he realized just who the intruder was, scrambling to his feet and immediately falling over, nearly landing face first onto the lawn. Ace just had to laugh at the sight, but his amusement soon died down. Instead, he had to frown at the pained groan and cursing in a voice that was decidedly not Luffy's, and neither did it seem to have come from the polar bear who was still snoozing away without care.

"Sorry, Torao," Luffy apologized with a sheepish smile directed at the person he had apparently tripped over.

Who the hell was ‘Torao?’ Who was the person Ace could only assume his baby brother was napping with? Seemed like an interrogation was in order. Later though, there were arrangements to be made first. After all, having back up on this couldn't hurt and he had the best back up just waiting for him on the next island.

Picking himself up and running over, Luffy nearly crashed into Nami in his hurry this time, but his navigator managed to side step him at the last second, probably expecting something like this to happen. Luffy only shot her a crooked smile and a half-hearted apology, prompting her to shake her head at him, crossing her arms over her chest in a scolding manner.“Honestly, how is your entire family like this? One of you is going to give me a heart attack one day.”

“Sorry,” Ace and Luffy apologized in unison, the both of them bowing to her for good measure. After all, they both knew all too well that Nami’s wrath was scarier than anything they had ever witnessed on the Grand Line so far.

Nami huffed, shooting one last unhappy glare at them before she turned around and said, “We should be arriving at the next island in a few hours, I’m going to check what we need and get things ready.”

Ace sighed in relief; it seemed like they had somehow managed to avoid the worst.

"Ace, what are you doing here?" Luffy asked as soon as Nami walked away.

Ace grinned, finally jumping off of the railing he had been perching on. “Can’t I just come visit my favourite baby bro?”

“Of course you can,” Luffy said, sticking his tongue out at him. “I just didn’t expect you. Weren’t you going to Wano to see Tama?”

“Yeah, but there was a change of plans. Sabo’s actually on the island you’re heading to so I took a detour,” Ace explained with a shrug.

The reaction was immediate. Just as Ace expected, Luffy perked up even more, his smile going impossibly wide and Ace could swear there were stars in his eyes. He was also basically vibrating in place and Ace had to chuckle at the sight. He understood Luffy’s excitement, neither of them got to see the revolutionary nearly as often as they would have liked for obvious reasons, but Luffy was just too cute when he got like this. How he even did the… bright all over thing was something beyond Ace’s understanding but he loved seeing it every single time regardless.

“Sabo’s there?! Why didn’t he tell me?” Luffy cried out, grabbing onto Ace’s arm in his eagerness.

Before Ace could reply, the other person who had been hidden behind the polar bear until then stood up, muttering seemingly to himself, but loud enough for both Ace and Luffy to hear, “Oh great, there’s going to be three of them.”

“Torao~,” Luffy whined, turning to look at the grumpy man with a pout. “Don’t say it as if it’s a bad thing,” he finished, bouncing away from Ace to stand in front of the other man instead.

Ace scowled at the sight of Luffy peeking up at ‘Torao,’ who only stared back impassively as if he wasn’t bothered in the least by Luffy’s puppy eyes. Ace didn’t think that was even possible. Not to mention they were standing way too close to each other for Ace’s tastes.

“It is a bad thing. There’s way too much energy just with you, Luffy-ya. I don’t need more of it around me,” Torao told him, finishing with a light flick to Luffy’s forehad. An action that nearly had Ace toss a fireball at him if only Luffy didn’t start giggling over it.

Suddenly, Luffy stepped even closer to the man, wrapping his arms around his waist and grinning up at him. “You love it,” he announced, sounding all too proud of himself.

“In very small doses,” Torao admitted before leaning down and kissing the top of Luffy’s head.  

Oh, Sabo was so hearing about this.

Ace cleared his throat loudly, raising his hand to make sure the fire crackling threateningly in his palm was the first thing Torao would see when he looked in his direction.

“Nice to see you again, too, Fire Fist-ya,” the man said flatly, one eyebrow raised.

Ace smiled at him, making sure it look as fake as he could make it. “Trafalgar Law. What do you think you’re doing to my little brother?”

“What does it look like?” Law shot back, showing a smirk that only managed to irk Ace further. If Luffy wasn’t standing right there, he would really have thrown that fireball at him.

“Ace?” Luffy asked, tilting his head to the side in confusion as he looked at the fire dancing angrily under Ace’s command.

Ace sighed at that, reluctantly putting the flames out. That asshole was seriously so lucky Luffy was there. He and Sabo would have to corner him later and threaten him when Luffy wasn’t looking. “Anyway, as I was saying—” Ace shook his head, trying to make himself focus on the matter at hand— “I don’t think Sabo knew you were this close to the island. He said he only had one afternoon free and absolutely needed to see me for some reason. So, Luffy. Want to come with us to get something to eat?” he asked, even though he knew the answer. As if Luffy would ever say no to that.  

“Let’s get meat!” Luffy exclaimed loudly, full of enthusiasm and throwing both arms in the air. He nearly punched Law in the face.

Sadly, it really was only nearly but Ace still took great pleasure in returning the smirk Law had given him earlier. He quickly turned back to Luffy, however, and replied, “Well, Sabo seemed like he had something in mind already so let’s just go and see.”

Luffy nodded at his words, a bright, happy smile that looked just the same as it did all those years ago at Mt. Colubo on his face, and Ace felt his previous smirk melt into a fond smile in return. There was warmth in his chest at the sight, the knowledge that his little brother was still the same even after everything that had happened over the years making him incredibly happy.

Without even realizing, Ace’s hand came to touch his own exposed chest, his fingers tracing the rough, large burn scar that Akainu had left there during the war four years ago. It was honestly a miracle he was even alive. He had fully accepted death back on the execution scaffold but then Luffy crashed in, just as loud, just as unexpected as always, bringing so much chaos with him that it changed the entire course of the whole ordeal. And then he accepted it once more when he threw himself in Akainu’s way to protect Luffy.

But now here they were, both of them miraculously alive—thanks to Jinbe, Marco, Vista, and, as much as it pained him to admit it given the very recent circumstances, mostly thanks to Trafalgar Law’s incredible timing and medical skill—and both bearing lava burn scars on their chests as a reminder of what could have happened; what was so incredibly close to happening. It was incredible how much the experience had changed them, yet somehow, how they were still the same as they used to be when playing pirates in their little tree house base.

And when Sabo had appeared in front of them again, with tears and apologies and so very alive, it felt almost inevitable.

Ace shook his head at his own thoughts. This was no time to get all sentimental. “Okay, Sabo’s waiting. Are you ready to go? Striker isn’t really a two person boat but it should be okay,” Ace said, gesturing towards his fire powered raft.

“Yes!” Luffy shouted like he had just won something. “Your boat always seems so fun to play with,” he sang, running over to look down at the slim, sleek raft that was gently swaying along the Sunny.

“Glad you’re so excited,” Ace chuckled.

He went to jump back down on Striker immediately, but Luffy stopped him when he spoke up next, “Oh wait. Do you think we could take the Mini Merry? Torao is meeting his dad on the island, too.”

Ace paused, looking at Luffy with a slight frown. What the hell was a ‘mini merry?’ But more importantly, did they really have to take Trafalgar with them?

Thankfully, Law had saved Ace from having to deal with either of those questions when he spoke up instead, “Thanks but I’ll stay here, Cora-san won’t be there until evening anyway. Plus, I’m not going to risk your brother drowning me on the way.” He shot Ace another one of those smirks when he finished and Ace almost wanted to burn it off of his face but…

“Fair point,” he admitted instead, surprised at the laughter that bubbled out of his chest. He shuddered in horror at the idea of this asshole growing on him.  

“I have no idea what you two are talking about,” Luffy mumbled in annoyance, but perked back up a second later when he announced he was going to let the crew know he was going on ahead.

Ace and Law looked at each other, Ace trying to convey with his eyes the threat of bodily harm that he was thinking in regards to the man standing in front of him. He could only assume he had succeeded when the corners of Law’s mouth twitched up slightly, followed by the surgeon flipping Ace off before he turned around and walked off, sitting down and making himself comfortable with his back resting against the somehow still asleep polar bear.

He was seriously pissing Ace off.

He did have to give it to him, though; if nothing else, this asshole had guts. Reluctantly, Ace had to admit that was probably the most important qualification to pass as Luffy’s boyfriend. He was still not getting out of that interrogation though.

---------

[chapter 2 coming...... as soon as I can finish it]

[loudestcloud]

Time for Luffy's fashion exam! Now, I'll be honest, I did skip an outfit because I decided I will be ending this whole thing with the Strawhat fashion show in Episode of Luffy. Also, sorry for the posting gap, I remembered I have other unfinished post sets. That being said, this is a very long one so let's do this!

Kid Luffy, Post-Enies Lobby & Fish-Man Island: I think it's super cute when Luffy has white t shirts with red based logos because it reminds me of the first picture. Makes him look baby plus, they can always be found in cute domestic EPs or fun, cute flashbacks. The shorts change over time and that's also kinda cute, a range of cuffs is a nice change up. It's nice to see the red contrast the blue shorts and the white is a nice color on him cos it contrast his hair!

Romance Dawn, Enies Lobby, Thriller Bark, Sabaody Archipelago, Amazon Lily, Marineford & last Dressrosa outfit: This look is the pre Luffy look. It's the pre Timeskip look everyone thinks of is cuffed shorts, Kimono sandels and sleeveless vest (and Strawhat, obviously) but have you ever seen them all in a line? It's mad. Each outfit is the same basic look bit more are more spicy each time! I like the Thriller Bark and Sabaody Archipelago looks a little bit more cos it's nice to see that jacket open and it feels like he was trying something new. I also feel that the buttons on the jacket look like the ones on Shanks' pegged ankle sailor pants when we first see him so that's cool. (it took me hours to find the name for his trousers, oh my fucking god) The last Dressrosa outfit feels like a nice callback to the rest of the line up here without being too much cos it's just a red vest top instead and I do find it funny it's like the Enies Lobby and it's used in Dressrosa because of the jokes people make about Robin and Law being so similar.

Timeskip: This is it lads, it's the one true icon itself, the post look! ☺️ When I sit back and look at it I see all the people this look is influenced by and want to cry at how masterful it really is. (Now, I do wanna say that I didn't come up with this nor am I the first to say it and I am definitely probably looking too much into this but) The yellow belt is taken from Shanks' red belt the first time we see him and the Shanks look Luffy is more familiar with. Now onto the jacket. I know it won't stand out as to why for most but it's Ace inspired! When Ace leave to become a pirate, the start of his adventure, he has his jacket open and Luffy having his jacket open also shows his scar from the ending of Ace's adventure. I also really appreciate how no one hides scars in this anime. Also, someone said that the style of the jacket and it's fancy frills could be in reference to Sabo's little jabot collar and honestly I do see it. it's quite subtle unlike Shanks' but not as hard to catch as Ace's so I enjoy thinking that it's there too. Lastly, he still has his cuffed shorts and kimono sandels because it's still Luffy's outfit at the end of the day and he is still who is is, just with a stronger appreciation of what people have done for him now. It's also his colour pallette for the pure fact he is the main character n needs his pallet. also sometimes he just has normal wooden sandels but the same outfit sometimes, it's a small detil a lot of people overlook but I prefer the sound of his Kimono sandels 😊

Dressrosa: I love this outfit cos it's stilly but also has very nice vibes. Looks ready for the beach but is really throwing hands and that's the best kind of outfit, it's a nice expectation subversion tbh. I also like how he tried to hide the Straw hat but not... All of it? And I love how the crew didn't actually question it either. It would have been super easy for one of them to just tell him to leave it behind or something but I do really love how respectful they always are of the hat. I myself have a hat that's super important to me and when I loose it I go mad.

Whole Cake Island: I love this arc for outfits! I swear if the actual content of it doesn't kill me, the act looks will 😭 it's all so magical and it knows it is! Like I said before, white is a good color on him as he has black hair but for the same reason, so is black! In this arcs outfit range, the Staw hat seems almost invisible and his outfit gets less and less 'Luffy' as the arc gose on showing this is not about him. He's not the focus of this arc and you can see that in a lot of the outfits thb. I also like the lack of blue and yellow, 2/3 of his colors as Sanji is often associated with those too as we've talked about before. Also, I like the little red strips on the white jacket with the gold buttons, idk why and I think it's nice that the last 2 outfits are so simple in general, it's a nice look for him. oh, what's that? A Pink jabot? Your killing me Lu, straight up killing me here lil' bro! Side note, is this the first time in canon Luffy has worn a suit jacket or is it the only time I've noticed? Cos DAMM!! Shits sick as fuck and I actually love that when wearing a suit jacket as such he always keep short on 😆

Spa Island, Z's Ambition & Strong World: WHOS READY FOR A RELAXING SUNNY DAAAYY!? (pun not intended but very much enjoyed) I actually adore the fact Luffy still tries to go swimming cos it was his favourite thing to do as a kid so like fuck Luffy is gonna give up on that. He's got his safety measures ready, what more do you want from him? I mean I personally want him not to swim with his hat on cos it's litrally Staw and that's not good for water but anyway Z's Ambition, am I right!? The top is so fucking cute and I just noticed those shorts are also ✨designer✨ fancy man!! Now, the pic of Zoro is the one I missed out before and it's also from Z's Ambition. I love that Luffy has the shark top but Zoro has the ocean shorts. I really love Zoro in this purple cos and thick white stripes really work with the ocean waves. It's really well put together and hes got dark brown sandels on to off set all the white but keep the purple from being a stand out color, it's cool! Than the last Luffy looks like he's at a fashion show. It looks like the shorts come from a kids set the shark top belongs to. Imagine those together, it'd be so cute. However, it isn't an ocean patten, those are clouds cos Nami has a bikini top with the same pattern in Skypiea and it's actually one of my favourites for her.

Boss Luffy Historical Special! This filler AU is so much fun, I think any it a lot. He has his hair up in that super cute and useless way that doesn't actually do much but I do have my hair like that a lot n it's just... nice? Idk, it's strange buy I like he did that. I really enjoy his Kimono more that the actual Wano one cos it's a lot more simple look. The Sai being tucked in in that way is also cool but kinda makes it look like it's stabbing him a bit 👁️👄👁️. I like the pin strips being like a faded purpleish cos if you just glance at it, it makes it look it fuzzy. The belt also looks very nice with the middle ligter bit. It really feels like the Wano one was inspired by this is a way cos of the color matches. Like, it's probably not but still.

3D2Y, Adventure of Nebulandia 😍 & Heart of Gold: Hat-less Luffy is both a sin and a blessing. Regardless, I LOVE OP BOYS IN HOODIES!! I had to show you this specific the 3D2Y because we don't see the hood and it's soooo cute cos it a paw 😍 but also 😬 cos it's like... Kuma's paw the thing that cause 3D2Y in the first place. But that's also why it's so cool at the same time and AHHHHHH 😄 Now! On to Nebulandia! I really like this movie but also in canon, how does he have that jumper? Who made it for him and can I have one? It's Usopp flag design so I guess it could be him but he doesn't seem the type. Point is I want one. Last of this set is some really cosy outfits!! "How much fur?" "Yes" am I right? Like the first one is sooooo cosy with all the fur! Plus, a funky new bamboo hat, always a good thing to have a new hat. I appreciate that you can see the zips on these too. Then the orange turtle neck one with little fluffy bits is just here cos it's so out of his usual looks, I had to at least mention it.

Strong world & Film Z: The shorts on the first one are really cute cos it's a light rosey pink with red fur and just a plain solid dark blue colour jacket works really well. Not to mention the fact he has a super cute orange and yellow flight helmet hat with goggles on under the Staw hat. The 2 bag straps also make an X which is a nice detail. The 2nd outfits in this movie are super fuckin cool ngl. It's so strange to see them all dress in black and have guns but I like the red shirt for him with the yellow highlighted parts. Makes the Straw hat actually work with the outfit instead of ignoring it. Film Z brings us the same flight helmet hat just brighter and without the goggles but also opens with this T-Shirt and Luffy being silly with it. I think that's the only reason to mention it, it's funny. Then the obligation pirate outfit, always stunning plus the meat belt.

Film: Gold & Stampede (also used in Cidre Guild): these are my top 3 Luffy outfits no matter what else I see. I love the straw cowboy hat sooooo much cos it's very Luffy. I like the balls they has as a team to choose white for all of them, considering they are all quite messy people, living for that dad shirt and I like the Golden chain around his neck but am always confused as to why it was never used against him. Like dude could and should have tried to choke him at least once, right? Anyway, the dress! Now, the dress isn't actually that good but it's my favourite because it shows how Luffy has no fucks about gendered things. On to of that, a big pink flower is wonderful and look at his confidences in it, he's so proud of it the boom, Nami told him he can't wear it! Lastly, the Stampede outfit!!! Just like the Nebulandia jumper, I have no idea who made it but it's irrelevant cos it's beautiful and I want it so badly. I like that it's white and red stripes, gives thenprefect vibes for Stampedes opening. The shirt is actually too big for him, you can see on his arms but it's actually super cute. I love the simple look of these shorts then the fact his yellow belt is replaced with white bandages and the black on the kimono sandels are now red? It's such a simple pallet and it's truly the best!

I also just wanna add, I think it's really cute when Luffy has the Straw hat on his back just cos his hair is really cute. Idk why, it's looks kinda cursed but cute at the same time

This post took 2 weeks or so to make and we made listening to the complete BNHA soundtrack, film gold OST and Sonic generations vol.1

Sanji

Zoro

Nami

[missmungoe]

ASL - Narwhal + Jellyfish (kill me)

CROOKED RETROSPECTION // Ace, Sabo, Luffy // Narwhal; keep coming back to the same place + Jellyfish; a thousand little stings

He has the dream again, the one where he almost makes it in time – the one where he’s not too late remembering, but still too late to change it.

He’s been here before, in this place that’s not quite Marineford but almost – a hundred images and impressions pieced together with sloppy, uneven stitches, collected over the course of two long years, from scouring newspaper after newspaper, from classified Government documents, from second-hand recounts. It’s a half-scrambled mish-mash of memories that aren’t his own, but it seems fitting, somehow, since for so long he had so few of those.

It’s not quite right, Sabo knows – the plaza looks a little skewed, and everything is a little blurry, like shadows of what they’re supposed to be, shattered rocks and ice and upended ships littered like a careless child’s discarded playthings. And if he doesn’t focus on them, it’s okay. It’s when he looks, when he tries to see that he’ll realise it’s not the way it should be. The jagged corners of the rocks aren’t sharp enough, and the ships are indistinguishable from each other. The ice isn’t white enough, or it’s too white, or too blue. It’s not cold enough, or it is but his breath isn’t fogging like it should.

And, of course, there’s his brother.

“You could have imagined me a little more ripped,” Ace says, arms crossed over his chest. His gaze drops, to do an unimpressed sweep over himself, before lifting back to Sabo, his brows quirking, along with the corner of his mouth. “I know I was in prison and all, but I wasn’t this skinny when I died.”

“Shut up,” Sabo says, but it sounds half-hearted even to his own ears. But he’s had this conversation too many times – or variants of it, anyway, and he’s too tired to be angry; is exhausted from reliving this hell over and over.

But when he looks at Ace next he looks – different, like his mind has adjusted, or at least tried to. Now he stands a little taller, a little broader over the shoulders. Sabo doesn’t know if it’s any closer to how he’d been; all the pictures he’d seen from the papers had been from awkward angles, and in the records from Impel Down he’d been gaunt, drawn and sallow-skinned and nothing like the boy Sabo remembers, who’d worn the sun on his skin, brown with thick clusters of freckles.

Of course, that boy hadn’t been a boy when he’d died.

“Okay,” Ace sighs, rolling his shoulders, as though getting ready. “Let’s do this again.”

He walks across the broken ground of not-quite-Marineford, and Sabo watches as the scene sets, other voices filling the air, a clamour of weapons clashing and the screams of the dying, pirates and marines alike. And there’s Luffy, and Akainu. And he’s relived this scene so many times he’s almost convinced himself that he was there. Like the memories are really his, and not just half-assed constructs that he’s pieced together from scraps.

And part of him knows it’s futile – he knows, because he’s done this so many fucking times, and he’s tired, and hurt, like each dream has left a bruise he can’t see, a cut that doesn’t bleed but that he still feels, a whole collection’s worth, ten, fifty, a hundred, a thousand little wounds that amass to something Sabo is surprised he can live with.

But he does live. Ironic, that.

And he should just stop trying, but the second Akainu moves his body jerks into action, and he can’t just stop, can��t let this go because it’s the last thing he has of the brother he’d lost, and so with a shout clawing, tearing up his throat, Sabo lunges–

It doesn’t work this time, either.

When it’s over, Ace gets up and dusts himself off. There’s a gaping hole in his chest, and Sabo can’t look away from it. He’s breathing so hard it sounds like he’s sobbing. Then again, he probably is.

“Yeah, that’s not gonna work,” Ace says, with a decisive nod – like they’re ten years old and they’re looking up at the treehouse and he’s decided that the steps in the ladder are too far apart; Luffy might not have a problem, but they don’t all have limbs that stretch forever. “You coming in at that angle? He’d take my head off instead, and to be honest, I’d rather have the sucking hole in my chest.” He points to his face. “And this would be a true loss.”

Sabo glares. “Do you need to be like this every time?”

The grin Ace flashes is wide, and full of hard, self-deprecating cheer. “Be like what?”

“So fucking casual about being dead,” Sabo snaps, running a hand through his hair, like he wants to tear some of it loose.

Ace shrugs. Through the hole in his chest, Sabo glimpses part of the broken plaza. “I am dead,” Ace says, matter of fact, and Sabo wants to punch him.

He sits down instead – drops onto his ass on the broken ground, and presses the heels of his palms to his eyes, hoping it’ll shove him into wakefulness.

It doesn’t, but then maybe he isn’t really trying as hard as he pretends to.

“I could have changed it,” Sabo says, with a ragged breath. “I know I could have.”

Ace gives another shrug. “I could have joined a travelling troupe, but that didn’t happen.”

Sabo cuts him a look for that. “I’m not appreciating the glibness.”

Ace just grins, and quips, “It comes with the whole being dead gig. I call it ‘post-gallows humour’. Which is pretty literal in my case.”

There’s a hysteric laugh bubbling up his throat that he can’t stop, and Sabo buries his head in his hands. “God. Shut up.”

“I’m in your head, Sabo,” Ace says. “I don’t call the shots here. This is all on you.”

Sabo thinks he might have flipped him off, if he hadn’t been so tired. Instead he does nothing, but then what else is new?

His brother takes a seat beside him then – uncompelled, although maybe Sabo had brought the action about without realising. And dream or not, he doesn’t tell Ace to shove off – can’t, even if it’s not his brother. Not as had been, anyway. Not as he should be, either, which would be alive.

“And ripped,” Ace supplies, with another look. “You’re still holding back with that. What’s the matter? Afraid I’ll make you feel inadequate?”

Sabo surprises himself by almost smiling. “You wish.”

There’s another lull. Above, a hard sun bears down, glittering off the ice and the surface of the water, a white so bright it hurts his eyes to look directly at it, and frost vapours have crept in along the broken shore, shrouding everything in a damp veil that should make his hair curl but doesn’t. Of course, it’s not real.

Around them, the sounds of fighting have died back down, leaving a hush, like actors gone for their break between rehearsals. It’s just the two of them now, and the ice that doesn’t melt. Not-quite-Marineford blurs at the corners of his eyes, an unimportant backdrop to an event that is anything but that.

A glance to his left finds Ace staring up at the too-blue sky. His hair is streaked grey with ash, thick clumps of it sticking together with sweat and dirt, and the dried blood looks brown on his skin. It’s almost impossible to tell it apart from the freckles.

There’s still a gaping hole in his chest, but it’s not bleeding. Sabo doesn’t know if it should – if wounds made by a fire that hot would bleed at all, or just cauterize the flesh in one fell swoop.

“Dude,” Ace says, with a short laugh. “That’s morbid. And a little disgusting. I’m almost proud.”

Sabo just looks at the hole. “You’re dead, Ace.”

“Yeah,” Ace says, and with a wry look, “And you’re kidding yourself if you think you can pull off long hair. Very few people have the face for it.” He gestures to his own. “Case in point.”

“Better a bad hairdo than being six feet under,” Sabo says, before he can stop himself.

Ace shrugs, smiling. “Fair enough.”

“I could have changed it,” Sabo says again. His voice sounds hoarse, like he’s been screaming the words, over and over.

Ace hums. “The six-feet-under bit?” He shrugs. “Maybe. I always thought a burial at sea sounded cool, but I didn’t really have a say in the matter, so in the ground I went. Not that I don’t appreciate the big-ass headstone. The old man always said Red-Hair was too dramatic for his own good, but damn if he can’t put on a decent funeral.”

“That’s not what I meant,” Sabo snaps, angry now. “I meant–”

“Luffy doesn’t,” Ace says, before he can finish.

Brows drawing together, his first remark is still halfway off his tongue, but he discards it, and, “Luffy doesn’t what?” Sabo asks instead.

Ace smiles – a small, proud thing. “He doesn’t dwell on it anymore. He’s moved forward.” He lifts his eyes to Sabo. “Why haven’t you?”

Sabo just stares at him, and Ace waves to not-quite-Marineford. “This?” he asks. “Why are you still here? My execution was two years ago. I know you were late to the party and all, but come on.”

“Were you this insufferable when you were alive?” Sabo asks.

Ace just looks at him, smile a little odd. “There’s a way you could find out.” He looks at the plaza again. “Not this way, though.”

He has a response ready, but it dies along with his anger, and so he shuts his mouth instead. And it’s so much easier, being angry – at himself, for doing nothing. At the world, for being what it is. It’s worse, the silence that comes when the anger doesn’t have any more kindling left to burn.

Resignation, Sabo thinks, and he’s never been good at resigning himself to anything.

“I’m afraid I’ll forget,” he blurts then, the words like something uncoiling within him, a tightly kept secret, but Ace only looks at him. “I did it, once. And even now I’ve…got all these memories that I didn’t before, but none of them are of you. Not like you were, when – when you died. If I just put it behind me, what the hell does that leave me with?”

“There’s a difference between forgetting and moving on,” Ace says.

Sabo looks at the ground. “Yeah?”

His brother is quiet a moment. Then, “I never forgot,” Ace says, and Sabo looks up. “When you died, moving on was hard, but I did it. We both did.” A small smile. “Luffy cried a lot.”

The laugh that leaves him is wet. “Yeah, well. He cried when I met up with him, too.” The smile that finds him is a little too fond to be appropriately deprecating. “He always was the strongest,” Sabo says. “Bawled like the whole world was ending, but then he’d dust himself off and move forward.”

Ace says nothing to that, but that small smile stays, like the hole in his chest.

Sabo looks out at the plaza, and not-quite-Marineford. He tries to imagine what it felt like, being caught up in that hell. His own hell had been different – is different, this pathetic substitute of a battlefield he’d never even set foot on, with a dead brother who refuses to stay that way. Or maybe it’s just Sabo who refuses to let him, remembering the wrong things, in lieu of having nothing.

“I could have changed it,” Sabo says, but it’s not regret that roots the truth out from where he’s been storing it, like a dearly held keepsake placed on the wrong shelf. Instead it’s realisation that plucks the words down from their perch, to push them off his tongue. He could have done a lot of things.

“Maybe,” Ace says.

“But I didn’t change it.”

“You didn’t.”

“I can’t change it now.”

“Nope.”

A rush of breath, “And it’s not my fault that I didn’t change it,” Sabo says. Admits.

Ace smiles. “There you go.”

Sabo breathes, and – and breathes, like he’s just been told how. Like he hasn’t remembered how until this moment.

“I used to wonder what would have happened, if we’d stopped you from leaving that time,” Ace says then, and Sabo looks up, surprised. Ace shrugs. “Maybe we could have changed things, maybe we couldn’t have, but we still moved on. And I died without any memories of you as you are now, but that didn’t mean I’d forgotten. There are other ways of remembering.”

When Sabo just looks at him, Ace arches a brow. “I tattooed your initial on my arm. Do you know how many people have asked me if it’s a typo?”

Despite himself – or maybe it’s not in spite of anything, but because they are who they are, now as surely as any other time – Sabo grins. “To be fair, you were never the best at spelling.”

“Hey,” Ace says, but he’s grinning, too. “Don’t speak ill of the dead.”

The laugh tears loose of him with a sob, and his chest hurts like he’s the one with the gaping wound, but it’s not, it never is, but this dream isn’t the same as the one he usually has.

And it hurts like hell, but he’s suffered enough injuries in his life to know the difference between the kind of hurt that kills and the kind that heals, and even if one isn’t necessarily any kinder than the other, the difference is significant. Is everything.

“Fuck you for dying,” Sabo laughs, sobbing, and Ace grins.

“Right back at you.”

And they’re still sitting there, in the middle of the rubble that probably wasn’t arranged quite this way, and maybe his brother had been broader over the shoulders, or had fewer freckles than Sabo gives him now. Maybe he’d talked differently, or held himself differently, but that’s not what matters; it’s not in appearance or mannerisms that he’s been remembering him wrong.

A long pause has stretched under the too-blue sky, but then, with a quick, crooked smile –

“I’m not tattooing your initial on my arm,” Sabo says, and Ace sticks his tongue out.

“Suit yourself. Bet you don’t have the arms for it, anyway.”

Sabo shoves him, and Ace falls over, laughing. And they’ve never done it this way before – he’s never laughing when he goes down, knees scabbed and the smell of burning flesh clogging the air. And the hole in his chest is still there, and all of Sabo’s little, invisible wounds, but it’s better than it should be – even if none of it is real, it’s a whole lot better than anything has been, in a long time.

—

He wakes to find Koala staring into his face, and he’s yelling before he’s even had time to draw breath, a shout startled loose with an oath.

She pinches his nose shut, and strangles the word before it’s had the chance to leap off his tongue.

“Language,” she says, pertly. “Seriously, Sabo-kun.”

He’s glaring up at her, rubbing at his nose now that she’s released it, but instead of sticking her tongue out Koala just tilts her head, expression softening a bit.

“Bad dream?” she asks, with a look that knows, even before she adds, as though she needs to explain, as though he doesn’t already know that she knows him better than most, “You were mumbling in your sleep. Something about tattoos.”

Sabo surprises himself by laughing, and her brows quirk up, before her smile follows, a gentle curve at the corners. “No,” he says, his own smile not as soft, but more than it would have been, on a different morning and with the dying echo of not-quite-Marineford ringing through his head. “Not this time.”

She wants to ask, he can tell, and resolves to tell her later, when he’s a little more clear-headed. But first, he has something he needs to do.

“Hey,” Sabo says. “Could you bring me the Den Den Mushi?”

Koala blinks, curiosity coming to settle in the slight purse of her mouth, but she complies without question, sliding off the bunk to hunt down the snail across the room.

He’s sitting up on the mattress when she brings it back, still in his shirtsleeves and with his hair a spectacular mess, at least going by the smile she’s doing a truly terrible job of hiding. But he doesn’t have a mind to spare how he looks, or that he hasn’t had breakfast yet, because then he’s dialling the number, the one he knows by heart, the receiver steady in his hand. He’s just now coming fully out of sleep, the last remnants of the dream lingering, loud laughter and that too-blue sky, and too many freckles on his brother’s skin.

There’s a lull where the snail stares back, gaze blank and emitting that droning, vacant hum, before the call connects, jerking it into awareness, and, “Hellooo? This is Luffy,” chirps his brother’s voice, and the snail’s eyes go round and owlish, followed by the matter-of-fact declaration, “the man who’s going to become the Pirate King.”

Sabo grins. “Hey, Luffy.”

“Ah – Sabo!” the snail laughs, delight brightening the sound of his name, loud where it spills over the line. And he doesn’t ask why he’s calling, like someone else might have done, as though the call itself is what matters, not the reason behind it. Sabo doesn’t doubt that Luffy would have been happy if all he’d done was call to say hello.

But he does have a reason for calling, and, “Would you tell me?” Sabo asks then, and thinks about the brother who may or may not have had so many freckles, who might have been a little broader over the shoulders, and who might not have been so glib. Or maybe he had been. The thing is, Sabo wants to know.

“Tell you what?” Luffy asks, voice curious, and Sabo smiles. And maybe they’re not his memories, the ones he’s asking for now, but he’d rather have them than the ones he has, the patchwork of what-ifs and could-have-beens that doesn’t do his memory justice; Ace, who’d never lived by regrets. That’s not the way he wants to remember his brother.

“About Ace.”