#anyways I figured I might as well post this anyways !!
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guilt tripping- o.piastri
summary: oscar asks something of you that you know you can't do. you do it anyway and it ends in you two almost breaking up. almost.
pairing: oscar piastri x fem! chronic illness! reader
a/n: hey yall, I just broke two ribs (lol) and got diagnosed with a chronic illness (lmao) so I might not be posting as frequently- just dealing with it physically and mentally so yah 😹
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“I don’t know if I can go,” you sighed, feeling even worse.
“That’s alright,” he assured you, but you could hear the way his excitement depleted and his mood lowered.
“M-maybe I can work something out, I don’t want to leave you alone,” your guilt grew everyday, this wasn’t healthy for either of you.
“I don’t want you over-exerting yourself,” he spoke softly into the phone. “I’ll just ask mum if she has any friends that want to go or something. She always brings a million people with her.”
“I don’t want to leave you hanging Oscar. Melbourne is a big race. I’d be happy to come over like a week before, and then come to the race once I’ve had a few days to heal,” you bargained. A 22 hour connecting flight was not something you’d ever wanted to do. You couldn’t do it. You knew the pain would be too bad, yet you still stood there, offering it anyway. “And then I’d come for the race on Sunday, or just small bits on all the days.”
“Really?” his voice picked up, excited now. “You’re sure?”
“I’m sure Osc, I love seeing you race,” your smile was more of a grimace than anything, but still, the guilt in your chest lessened as you listened to Oscar speak animatedly about the race weekend, while your anxiety ran through the roof. You couldn’t do all the things he wanted you to do, you never could. This had been a problem at the beginning of your relationship, every time he’d plan a date that wasn’t dinner or a movie, you’d have to break the news that a 15 kilometre hike wasn’t something you’d be able to do on a whim. Things like that took planning, physio, and preparation. Your chronic illness was no joke, and had limited you since you were a teenager. In the past few years he’d gotten much better at everything, from helping you with your physio exercises, attending pilates classes with you, knowing what to do on bad pain days, and always looking out for you in public. You knew he was just getting away with himself, and you didn't want to disappoint, so you agreed to it all, hoping against hope that it wouldn’t be a bad week of pain or flare-ups wise.
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You got into Melbourne and sobbed when you got in the car. Thankfully, it was Hattie picking you up, so she just held your hand as you silently cried, the joint and too much to bear. You went straight to bed as Hattie explained to the rest of the house that you were exhausted, and Oscar took it at face value. You usually get extremely tired after long days, and you’d just had a 22-hour day of travel.
“I’ll go check on her-” he started, desperate to see you but Hattie cut him off.
“NO!” she squeaked, trying to not sound suspicious. Oscar raised an eyebrow. “She’s really tired and she’s already gone to sleep.”
“Yeah, well I’m tired so I’m going to bed,” he explained, stretching then yawning.
“Osc,” Hattie sighed, knowing she had to tell him. “She’s not… alright. She can’t do 22 hour travel days like you or I can. She has Lupus and she’s still trying to figure out her medication, so it hurts all the time. She cried from the airport to here, all to support you because you asked her to, and she feels guilty every single time she can’t say yes. She’s done real damage to herself by coming here. I want you to understand that, do you understand that?”
Oscar nodded, because the other option was breaking down into tears. Yes, he’d felt guilty that he couldn’t be there to take care of you while travelling, and he knew he was asking a lot of you when he asked. The guilt settled deep in his stomach and made him nauseous, but still he continued on to his bedroom where you were sleeping peacefully. He could see the puffy eyes, the red nose, the open bottles of medication on the nightstand. He wrapped an arm around your waist, another in your hair and pulled you as close as possible, whispering teary sorrys into your ear.
When you woke up the next morning, you knew what you had to do. This wasn’t fair on either of you, and you needed to make a change. You quickly (but silently) got up, and started to leave the room, but Oscar grabbed ahold of your hand before you could leave.
“Please don’t sneak out on me,” he begged, sitting up. He looked wrecked, puffy eyes, red rose- had he been crying? God, had you made him cry?
“Osc, what’s wrong?” you asked, concern clear as day on your face as you cupped his face with your hands.
“I’m sorry,” he whispered, his voice breaking. “I knew I was asking too much when I asked you to come here, I’m so sorry.”
Your heart tightened in your chest. “Osc, I’m alright, I was just tired last night and-”
“Hattie told me,” his voice was deep, deeper than usual, and he pressed a gentle kiss to your hand. “And I’m so sorry.”
“Osc, I could’ve said no if I didn’t think I was able for it,” you tried to reassure him but he shook his head.
“Y/n, you did say no and I didn’t take it as an answer,” he scoffed.
You were stunned into silence. “I think we need to have a talk about us, Osc.”
He nodded, taking your hands in his.
“This isn’t fair on you. I know I can't control my illness, and neither can you. It sucks, but it’s a fact. I wish I could be there for every single race and cheer you on with the other girls, but I can’t. It’s not in the cards for me right now, and I don’t know when it will be. Oscar, I love you so much, and you’ve been with me through everything and I know you deserve someone who can always be there for you, and I’m not that person right now. I love you but I know it’s not enough,” You finally looked at him and he was biting his lip as tears streamed down his cheeks. “I’m sorry.”
He shook his head and stood up, dropping your hands as he paced his bedroom. “You know how much I love you, don’t you?” he asked and you nodded as you held back more tears. “So you know that I still feel your support even when we’re in different time zones or on different continents, right? You know that I value you being in as little pain as possible more than being at the barricade after a race, right? You know that I fucking love you more than I love racing, right? Y/n, I’ve been here the entire time, since we were 14 years old. You’re the reason I get in the car, you make me better, all the time it’s just you. I plan on being with you for my whole life, Y/n. I want to be there for everything. I plan to sit there through every appointment about medication until you find the one that actually helps you, I plan on being there for every day where you don’t feel up to it, I plan on being there for you, always. I never want to let go of you, and yeah, it is nice to be able to see you after a race, and I know that because fucking facetime exists. If you still want to break up because I fucked up by asking you to come here, go ahead, but don’t ever think that I’m without because I’m with you. I am so in love with you, Y/n. I mean it. I want to marry you one day, I want a family with you, I want to be old with you so we get to reminisce on the good ol’ days and make some more while we have time. ‘The good ol’ days’ will be the days I spend with you. More than any race win, more than any trophy, or than anything. My favourite part about a race weekend is coming home because I know no matter what my result was, you’ll be there with open arms, loving me anyways. You’re more than enough for me.”
You crossed the room and wrapped your arms around him, crying into his hoodie as he held you. “I love you too.”
After a few moments of both of you calming down, he finally spoke. “Can you forgive me for being such an asshole?” he asked, wiping his eyes.
You nodded, a small smile on your face. “I can, can you forgive me for being such an idiot?”
He chuckled. “You’re no idiot,” he picked you up and gently placed you back on the bed lying beside you. “I love you.”
“I love you too.”
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navigation for my blog :) (masterlist)
#f1 imagine#f1 x reader#formula 1 x you#formula one imagine#oscar piastri x reader#oscar piastri#oscar piastri x you#formula one x reader#formula 1#formula one#mclaren#oscar piastri x fem!reader#f1 fluff#x reader#female reader#x reader insert#reader insert#x reader fic#x reader fluff#x reader fanfiction#fem reader#gn reader#f1#f1 smau#f1 imagines#f1 x you#requests#f1 fic#f1 fanfic#f1 fanfiction
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caught in bloom, caught on you | xu minghao
SYNOPSIS. in which you find yourself becoming a regular𑁋or perhaps more than that𑁋at minghao's flower shop. PAIRING. florist!xu minghao x gn!reader GENRE. fluff, a pinch of angst, hurt/comfort, strangers to friends to lovers WARNINGS. hao basically falls in love at first sight HAHA, mild cursing, implied that yn lost someone close to them, a lot of yearning n pining, kissing WORD COUNT. 8.3k
notes: wheeboo is NOT in their short-ish fic era anymore and is in their long-ish fic era rn 😭 anyway,, i didnt have a title for the fic until hao posted his song on his birthday so... I hope u all enjoy?? this might be one of my faves haha
Minghao likes these kinds of days.
Thin, irregular shapes of cotton drift lazily across the endless blue embrace of the skies. The afternoon sun carries warmth in its hands that he could feel right through the glass windows of his flower shop. It's almost as if the season of summer itself is breathing through his shop, softly encouraging his little garden to reach for the light.
Minghao runs his slender fingers through the cool edges of a hydrangea, its soft petals a deep shade of prismarine.
Ever since he was younger, his mother had told him that flowers weren't just things to be cared for. They were companions, your friends if you'd let them be, each blooming with all different kinds of personalities.
He likes how the flowers didn't ask for much; they simply needed patience and care, and in return, they gave him a sense of peace that he couldn't find anywhere else.
The sudden chime of the bell pulls him from his thoughts. He straightens up, wiping his hands on the apron tied loosely around his waist, and glances toward the door.
The figure the walks through the door is unfamiliar, yet it's easy to catch the way the sunlight highlights the edges of your silhouette, almost like a halo as you step inside the shop. For a moment, Minghao is simply taken aback by the quiet grace of your entrance, the way the afternoon light seems to favour you.
Your gaze circles around the shop, taking in the rows of flowers with a soft curiosity. There's some sort of quiet hesitation in your movements when you take a few more tentative steps inside, as if you're trying to find the right place to be in this space, just as much as you're trying to find the right flower.
Minghao finds himself clearing his throat, drawing a polite smile across his lips and catching your attention right away.
"Good afternoon," he greets calmly. "Can I help you with something today?"
You glance up at him, a slight surprise in your eyes before they soften.
"Hi, um... Yeah, I was actually looking to see if I could buy some flowers. The shop I went to before closed down, so I've been searching for a new place. It was a bit of a drive." Then you hesitate briefly, before continuing, "I'm not sure what to look for exactly, but something for a first date would be nice."
Minghao's heart stirs a bit disappointingly at that, though he quickly suppresses the feeling away. After all, it's just flowers, and you're simply here to buy them for someone else.
He nods thoughtfully, giving a soft, understanding look.
"Ah, well. Congratulations first of all on the date," he says calmly, though the nerves itches his fingers. "A first date is always special, isn't it?"
"They are," You reply sheepishly, and the hint of a blush to your cheeks nearly resembles the colour of the roses displayed near the window.
"Is there a specific kind of vibe you're going for?" Minghao asks. "I can help you pick something that feels right."
You pause for a moment, eyes lingering on a beautifully-painted vase. "Hmm, I think... something romantic, but not too traditional, if that makes sense? Not something too cliché, you know, but I also want it to feel special."
Minghao simply hums in response, his mind sifting through the variety of options he could think of. There's this odd sense of responsibility within him to make your choice is beyond perfect.
"Roses are always a classic," he begins. "but they're quite conventional, so..."
He can sense you following closely to him as he walks toward another part of the shop.
"These are tulips," Minghao explains, gesturing to a row of soft, voluminous blooms in shades of pale pink and coral. "They're not commonly picked like roses, but there's a nice charm about it. They're meant to represent long-lasting love."
You take a good look of the flowers, and you're amazed by how bright they appear.
"Wow, they're so beautiful." Then you take a small glance up at Minghao, before back down at the flowers. "You must really take care of these flowers to make them look this vibrant."
"I try my best," he mutters quietly, watching as you continue to take in their beauty. "Each flower has its own needs, but with patience, they show their beauty. Much like people, I suppose."
Your eyes flicker back up at him, and for a moment, there's a quiet stillness between you, as if the space between you two is holding its breath. Then you let out a warm, somewhat nervous chuckle.
"I think I understand," You say, taking a step closer towards the tulips and carefully running a finger over its petals. "It's about giving them space to grow, right? Not forcing them to be something they're not."
There's something about the way you speak, something thoughtful, almost as if you also understand the language of patience he's grown so accustomed to.
"Exactly." He smiles faintly. "That's what I like about flowers𑁋they don't rush. They just exist, and somehow, they slowly become what they're meant to be."
You lift your gaze to meet his, and in your eyes, Minghao sees something more than just curiosity. There's a softness there, a sincerity that draws him in. At his sides, he feels his fingers twitch slightly, but he quickly smooths his hands down his apron.
It's strange how a simple conversation about flowers can make him feel so... connected to someone.
"I think these are perfect," You tell him, eyes brightening with confidence.
A wave of satisfaction washes over Minghao, who nods in agreement.
"Would you like me to wrap them up for you?" he asks.
"That would be great, thank you," You respond with that cute grin of yours𑁋it seems more relaxed now. The thought makes his heart flutter.
Minghao begins to wrap the delicate stems with some brown wrapping paper, carefully arranging them so they're secure. As he ties a ribbon around the bouquet, he can't help but sneak up a glance at you. You're wandering around the shop with your hands clasped in front of you, looking at the other arrangements on display, and he smiles to himself.
He finishes the bouquet and smooths out any remaining creases with his fingertips. When you make your way back over to him, he offers it to you.
"Do you want to write your name on a gift tag?" Minghao asks, holding up a small card and a pen. He doesn’t know why his heart's beating faster𑁋perhaps it's the subtle hopefulness in his voice that will make your name linger longer, even after you leave.
You glance at the pen in his hand, considering it for a moment before nodding.
"Sure, I'd love to," You tell him with a faint smile, snatching the pen from his grasp, giving it a quick click before writing something down, the tip of your tongue just barely peeking out in concentration.
When you finish, you hand the card back to him. He takes it from you carefully, inspecting your neat, intricate handwriting. It's simple, yet there's a certain elegance to it it. Minghao reads it under his breath: For someone special, who I hope feels the same - Y/N.
Y/N, he repeats in his mind.
"I'll finish it up for you now," he says, placing the card with the bouquet. He arranges the flowers once more, making sure everything is perfect before handing it to you.
You find yourself fishing into your bag for your wallet. "How much do I owe you?"
Minghao hesitates for a moment, his fingers hovering over the register, but there's something about the way your features soften and how your eyes meet his that makes him pause.
"It's on the house."
You stop your hands, peering back up at him with a surprised look. "Really? Are you sure?"
"Of course," he assures calmly. "It's the least I can do."
You just blink at him a few times, a soft chuckle escaping your lips.
"Thank you," You let out sheepishly as you take the bouquet in your hands, the ribbon slipping through your fingers as you carefully adjust it. There's a split second that passes where you sneak a glance at the nametag on his chest. "I really appreciate it. I'm sure they'll love them."
Something in his chest tightens at that𑁋they'll love them. Minghao tries not to overthink it, tries to ignore the brief twinge of something unsettling in his chest.
But you're smiling, so he smiles back.
"I hope so," he replies gently, and with a polite bow of his head, he adds, "I'm sure they'll appreciate the thought behind it."
As you walk towards the exit, you take a final look around the shop, eyes lingering on the shelves of flowers, before turning back to Minghao.
"I'll be sure to come back," You say brightly, and the way the afternoon sunlight pours down all around you in the doorway makes you appear almost angelic. "Thank you for everything."
"I'll be here," Minghao responds, offering a small, timid wave of his hand. "Take care."
The chime of the bell above the door announces your departure, and a sigh leaves him.
It's just flowers, he tells himself again. Just flowers.
And flowers𑁋like people𑁋don't rush.
Minghao finds himself wiping away some spilled soil on the counter, the soft hum of piano music drifting throughout the quiet flower shop. He had just gotten done cleaning up after a busy morning of rearranging a few displays around the shop to tie into the slow seasonal changes that were beginning to take shape outside.
The shift from the warm tones of summer to the cool shades of autumn had arrived, bringing a new, fresh palette for him to play with. Chrysanthemums, petunias, dahlias, and marigolds were beginning to make their way into the shop, taking their place next to the peonies and roses that had been so meticulously cared for.
When the last bits of soil are wiped away, Minghao steps back to admire the beauty of the shop around him, he takes in a deep inhale, letting in the earthy scent of the fresh blooms fill his lungs.
After storing away a few extra vases in the backroom, the chime of the door hits his ears, and Minghao finds himself straightening back up to greet whoever had come inside.
When looks up, however, he freezes for a moment. He catches you standing in the doorway, and Minghao has to blink a few times to make sure his mind wasn't playing any tricks on him.
"Hi, again," You're the first to greet this time, and then that grin spreads across your face once again, one that seems all-too familiar.
Minghao leans against the counter. "Back so soon?"
"I was just in the area, couldn't help myself, you know..." You drawl with a playful shrug. "I actually just officially moved into the city just last week, hopefully to be closer for this new job and well... The drive here isn't as long as before."
Minghao smiles softly. It's an unexpected but pleasant surprise for you to admit all that to him, and for some reason, it makes him feel a little lighter.
"That's great," he responds, pushing himself off the counter as he straightens up. "I imagine that must be a relief. How do you like it so far?"
You step further into the shop, your eyes eagerly scanning the new arrangements he's set up.
"It's been great, actually," You say with a relieved look. "Life has been... good, honestly. I think the city suits me. It's different, but in a positive way, and I'm already surrounded by a lot of nice people."
This warm and genuine feeling tugs at Minghao's lips as he listens to you, adjusting the stems of a vase full of a plethora of zinnias.
"I'm assuming that date from before went well then?"
His words makes the smile on your face flicker, and the change is subtle but noticeable enough for Minghao to catch it, even when he's not directly looking at you. You shift your weight between your two feet, and the way you glance around the shop seems almost like you're trying to distract yourself from something.
"The date didn't go well at all, actually."
Minghao's fingertips pause on the cold surface of the vase, brows furrowing in a bit of surprise.
"Oh, I'm so sorry," he apologises gently, regretting for the sudden change in mood. "I didn't mean to bring up anything uncomfortable."
You let out a small, rueful chuckle, shaking your head. "No, no, it's okay. Really."
The air seems to thicken a little. You could only stand and watch for a few long moments as Minghao moves gracefully around, tending to all the flowers with his usual care.
After a long pause, you finally break the silence.
"It was good at first, I think, then it just became... awkward. Like really awkward. I thought I had everything planned out𑁋good place, nice flowers, all that jazz... but I guess it just didn't click. I think we both kind of felt it." You feel your shoulders deflate in a pit of defeat, a soft sigh escaping your lips as you run a hand through your hair. "I don't know why I just rambled all that. Sorry about that."
Minghao doesn't say anything at first, simply giving you some space, but he feels his heart tighten in his chest. He casts his eyes on you, also unsure why you're telling him this or why it feels important to him, but he knows it's a moment of vulnerability𑁋a rare one𑁋and he wants to handle it with care.
"No need to say sorry," he reaffirms, tone soothing. "Sometimes things don't go as expected, and that's okay. It doesn't mean it wasn't meaningful."
You glance towards him, catching the sincerity dripping down from his words. It catches you by surprise at how almost... comfortable it feels to be open right now, with him. The atmosphere here doesn't demand anything of you.
"As people, we try so hard to make things go right that we forget to just... let them unfold naturally," he says softly, as if thinking aloud. "I think sometimes things don't work out because we're not ready for them yet, or maybe they're not the right kind of flower at the right time. You can spend so much time trying to arrange them, placing them in the perfect spot, hoping they'll just fit… but sometimes they don't. And that's okay."
You can't help but quirk a playful lip at that, but you can't resist the way his words appear to tug right at your heartstrings. "Are you comparing me to a flower?"
"Not just you, no," Minghao replies amusedly. "But I think you could be. A flower, I mean. You're just someone who's figuring out what kind you want to be."
The thought about being a flower𑁋in another life, perhaps𑁋is a bit silly. But you also wonder about other things too𑁋if you're being treated with the same care and attention that Minghao gives to his flowers, or if you're wilting like one that hasn't found the right light yet. And as you gaze around the shop, taking in the beauty of the blooms around you, you find yourself smiling.
"I think I'd like to try and take care of a flower," You announce, determination weaving around your voice and words. "I'm not sure if I'd be good at it, but I'd like to try."
Minghao crosses his arms together, letting out a thoughtful hum while studying you for a few seconds. "I think you'd do well."
For some reason, those few words were enough to send heat crawling up your body and into your face.
"Thank you," You breathe out sheepishly, the corners of your mouth tugging upwards. "Can you give me a few recommendations?"
Minghao just nods. "Sure."
From there, he leads you toward a small display near the front of the shop where a few different pots and seedlings are carefully arranged. He describes a few of them to you. You're immediately drawn to the passion dripping from his tone, and the way he appears to light up when he speaks.
"These might be a good start," he suggests, gesturing to a small seedling. "Marigolds are pretty low maintenance. They need light, of course, but they're easy to grow and care for."
You take a moment to study over the baby plant with sweet curiosity.
"I think I'll start with these, then," You say, glancing back at Minghao. "Something easy."
Minghao's eyes don't stray away from how you admire the tiny plant, how you cradle the pot in your hands to take a closer look at it as if you're already imagining yourself taking care of it.
"Taking care of them can be a good reminder to take care of yourself too," he points out. "They need patience, consistency… and a little bit of trust, just like people do."
You look up at him, a smile tugging at your lips once more, feeling something warm bloom in your chest. His words settle into you in a way that's hard to describe, but they feel right𑁋like they're exactly what you need to hear.
"That's true," You reply, the weight of the sentiment settling comfortably within you. "I guess I could use a reminder like that."
"Shall I wrap it up for you?" he offers.
"Yes, please. Thank you."
After mulling over some options, he chooses the perfect wrapping paper and adds a small note about caring for marigolds. You watch him, mesmerised by the ease in his movements, the care he pours into something so simple. For a moment, you forget about all the bustling noise outside the shop, and all that exists is Minghao and the flowers, his flowers.
As Minghao ties the final knot around the marigold pot, he hands it to you, and his fingertips briefly brush against yours.
"Thank you," You tell him softly. "For everything, really. It's very calming in here."
Minghao's smile widens, almost like he's heard those same words before, and perhaps he has; maybe many people find themselves drawn to his calm presence and the haven he's created in this little shop.
There's a strange warmth that spreads throughout your chest as you cradle the small plant in your hands. "I'll be sure to take good care of it."
A few moments of comfortable silence pass as you both stand there, your eyes drifting around the shop to take in the palette of autumn that colours the space. Yet it's almost instinctive in the way your gaze finds Minghao.
"I hope you won't mind me coming back, you know... to make sure I'm doing a good job with this little one." You gesture to the plant in your hands, a playful tone to your words.
Minghao chuckles, a sound as gentle as the petals surrounding him. "Of course. I'll be here."
"Do you mind if I take another look around with the place? It looks great, by the way."
"Take all the time you need."
And for the first time in a long while, Minghao felt like he wasn't just waiting for the next flower to bloom.
He was blooming, too.
"Do you have a favourite flower?"
The question rests upon Minghao's shoulders while he waters a cluster of orchids in the back corner of the shop. You're hovering near him, aimlessly trudging your fingertips over, but instead lets the question settle in between the quiet moments.
"I imagine it's hard to pick as a florist, right?" You let out a meek laugh. "It's kind of like asking a painter to pick their favourite colour."
The corners of Minghao's lips curl up slightly, his eyes fixed on the glistening leaves under the faint droplets of water. You can tell he's contemplating the question from the quiet hums leaving his mouth, and for some reason, you find comfort in his patience.
"Not exactly," he says after a pause, his voice steady, thoughtful. "A painter might have a favourite colour, but they don't use it all the time. It's about balance. Knowing when to bring it forward and when to hold it back."
"Ah, so you do have a favourite flower," You tease lightly, nudging him playfully with your shoulder. "You just don't want to admit it."
The brief touch seems to linger in the air, a soft warmth that you both let pass without acknowledging. Minghao gently sets the watering can down and looks at you for a moment, his gaze a little deeper than before.
"In China, we have a lot of flowers that hold meaning," Minghao continues. "It's hard to pick one specifically, but... I've been liking the liánhuā lately𑁋the lotus. It grows in muddy water and blooms above the surface, even despite those circumstances. It also represents purity, resilience, and growth."
You tilt your head as you take in his words. You already knew yourself that you didn't know much about flowers, but there's a certain curiosity that washes over you from how Minghao speaks so fondly about them. Even something as simple as a flower has layers of meaning for him.
"That's really beautiful, I..." You trail off, trying to find the right words. "I've always looked at things really surface-level, you know, like I've always found daisies beautiful because they're so simple and bright, but I never really thought much about their deeper meanings. It's kind of like... I never thought about why I liked them. It's just easy to see them and appreciate them, I guess."
Minghao blinks at you, before lowering his gaze down to the floor. "Daisies suit you."
You turn to him, dazed. "Really?"
Minghao takes a contemplative pause. "Well, they're not only... beautiful to look at, but they brighten up any space they're in."
You feel your feet seep into the floor, sinking deeper as your cheeks warm, suddenly hyper-aware of how close you were standing next to him. And it's the way he acts like he didn't fucking say anything out of the ordinary almost makes you lose it.
"Are you flirting with me right now?"
However, Minghao doesn't seem fazed by the question. Instead, his lips twitch into a small, almost imperceptible smile, and then a few seconds later, your phone rings.
Minghao just offers you a little wave of his soil-painted hand. "Have fun at work, Y/N."
"Minghao! Can you teach me how to wrap these flowers?"
Minghao casts his attention up from displaying a new set of hyacinths, catching you behind the counter with a bouquet in your hands, along with a small old lady on the other side with a cheerful grin.
There's a subtle tug at the corners of his mouth when he hears you holler for him again, and he brushes his hands against his apron, before marching his way toward you. He steps up to you, taking the flowers from your hand while you beam happily towards the old lady.
"What's the occasion for the flowers, ma'am?" You ask curiously. Th elderly woman lets out a soft laugh, resting her wrinkled hands on the counter.
"It's for my grandson! He's graduating from high school today. Time flies by, doesn't it?"
"Wow, that's such a milestone! Congratulations to him," You exclaim enthusiastically, softly clapping your hands together as Minghao deftly arranges the flowers within the wrapping paper, before sliding it over to you.
He leans in a bit more, almost too close you feel the way his arm brushes against yours and the way his breath fans against your skin.
"Fold the edges like this," Minghao instructs softly, his hands hovering right over yours. "Make sure the paper covers the stems. Too much pressure could break them; too loose could make them fall apart."
You watch as his hands follow yours while you nervously, yet carefully trace the frail edge of the paper, showing you how to make each fold with a care that's almost tender. His close proximity sends strange flutters to your stomach, but you do your best to ignore it.
"Okay, like this?" You question, pulling the paper slightly tighter around the bouquet.
Minghao hums approvingly, letting you hold the flowers while he circles a ribbon around it with ease. His hands brush against yours as he neatly ties it, and the two of you pull back to watch how it delicately falls over the bouquet.
The old lady glances between the two of you with a knowing smile.
"The two of you make such a cute couple! Do you run the shop together?"
You feel your face fire up at that, cheeks burning with embarrassment. Then you instinctively glance over at Minghao, who surprisingly doesn't seem as flustered as you are.
"Oh, um, we're not𑁋"
"They like to help out here once in a while," Minghao adds in smoothly, though you aren't sure if that entirely helps or not. However you know what he's saying is true, because whenever your break for work comes or on your free time, you find yourself naturally walking towards the flower shop to help out at times.
The lady just beams up even more, scooping up the bouquet in her grasp. "Well, it's nice to see young faces working together! You two sure do have a lot of chemistry."
You offer a wave of your hand. "I hope your grandson enjoys the flowers. Congratulations to him once again!"
With that, the old woman offers a small wink before turning to head out of the shop. "Thank you, dear! Take care, both of you." Her delighted steps echo off the walls as she exits the shop.
The shop grows quiet again. You let out a sigh, cracking your knuckles as you turn to Minghao, who was already wiping over the surface of the counter, making quick work of putting things back in order, and for some reason, it still doesn't wipe away the pit of awkwardness you're feeling. You wonder if he feels the same too.
"So," Minghao starts, still continuing to clean without batting a glance at you. "You're taking over my shop, it seems."
You let out a haughty scoff. "I just wanted to try wrapping some flowers for someone. Don't let it get to your head."
Minghao only chuckles lightly, though he keeps his focus on the counter, yet you could only focus on him. You can't help but admire the way his hair falls effortlessly over his forehead, the slight endearing tilt of his head as he works, and how his movements are so meticulously unique to only him. There's a certain aura he exudes that makes you feel strangely at peace, a magic that only seems to reside within the walls of the shop.
"Why didn't you say no?" You suddenly ask, the question slipping out before you could shut your mouth.
Minghao pauses mid-swipe, looking back up at you. "Say no to what?"
"To, uh... the lady back there," You stammer, feeling the heat creep back at your neck. "About us, you know... being a couple."
Minghao remains silent as he tosses the dirty wipe away. For a moment, he seems to be contemplating something𑁋whether the question, the idea, or something more.
Then he just simply shrugs. "I guess I didn't mind it," he replies lowly, and meets your eyes warily. "Does it bother you?"
Your mind goes completely blank at his question. Does it bother you? The simple truth is that you didn't expect him to answer so casually. You were expecting him to probably correct her humbly, in all honesty. After all, it was just a passing comment from a lady who didn't mean any harm behind it.
But... does it bother you?
"No, it... it doesn't bother me. Really," You respond after a pause, voice coming out a bit forced. Your heart is beating super fast right now. "I guess I just didn't expect you to go along with it since we're not𑁋"
"𑁋not a couple," Minghao finishes for you. "I know."
You feel like you're melting into a pile of goo, your thoughts scattering like ants running out of their pile.
"I'm sorry, I'm overthinking," You mumble out, trying to brush everything off with an airy laugh.
Minghao shakes his head. "I should be sorry. I made you uncomfortable."
"You-You didn't, trust me!" You wave your hands dismissively, albeit a bit dramatic. "I was just caught off-guard and didn't know how to respond."
This seems to relax Minghao's shoulders a bit, but not entirely.
"Okay," he says, and his voice is as light as a wisp getting caught in the wind. "But you'd tell me if you were uncomfortable, right?"
You give him an easy nod, maybe even confident. "I would. I promise. And you'd... tell me too?"
Minghao meets your eyes with a steady gaze, his expression soft but thoughtful. For a moment, there's a subtle shift in the air, and you can feel the weight of his words before he speaks again.
"Yeah," he answers firmly, sincerely. "I would."
When you open your mouth to speak again, your phone dings in your pocket. You squint your eyes to read over the message in your notifications, before closing up your phone.
"My meeting got cancelled." Then you blink up towards Minghao, as if trying to convey an unspoken question to him.
As if the answer wasn't already obvious, Minghao gives you a small, almost teasing smile.
"I don't mind the company," he tells you, then quirks up a brow. "Unless you do."
"I don't mind either," I like being in this place... with you. "Not at all."
Flowers bloom when the time is right. And you don't mind waiting for it.
When a flower dies, there's a certain routine that comes after it. Trim away the wilted petals, dispose of the stems, recycle them as compost, and plant the next set of blooms.
Minghao hates seeing flowers die.
The sound of crumbling petals tie a knot in his chest, the stillness that follows afterwards is almost deafening. But he knows it's an inevitable part of life. Every flower has its chance to bloom and thrive, and eventually, it will fade.
The flowers don't belong to him, after all𑁋they are simply passing through his care briefly before going to someone else or withering away, like everything else in life. Minghao knows it's unnecessary to hold onto these flowers so tightly, but after being surrounded by them his entire life, it's merely impossible to let go.
The bell chimes as he's composting a few camellias that had sadly wilted, and he gazes up to find a gust of snow following your footsteps as you step inside. A large, black fluffy coat hugs your body and a scarf is wrapped snugly around your neck. However this time, Minghao doesn't notice any ounce of a smile to your face.
He sets the compost bin down and wipes his hands on his apron.
"Y/N?"
There's a very subtle twitch to your expression when he calls out your name.
"Hey," You croak out, voice a bit strained. "Um... is it fine if I buy some flowers?"
Minghao feels something in his chest clench at your tone, but he pushes the feeling away with his usual calm composure, masking away any concern simmering on the surface.
"Sure," he replies, focusing on the shadows that plague over your features. "Is there anything specific you're looking for?"
Your eyes drift away from to look around the flower shop, taking note of the bright, usual blooms that surround you, yet none of them appear are what you're looking for.
"Do you have, um..." You feel like you're already going to regret this. "...anything for a funeral?"
The words float in the air between you both. Minghao's expression falters for just a moment, the calmness that he usually carries slipping as his eyes soften toward you.
"Of course," he says softly. "I have a few options."
With that, he leads you to a particular spot in the shop, where it houses all sorts of flowers with muted colours𑁋white roses and lilies, pale chrysanthemums, and pink and purple orchids all arranged neatly. Minghao watches as you gaze over each flower, but he doesn't speak yet, simply allowing you the moment to breathe.
"These are the traditional flowers for a funeral," he explains finally. "White roses for remembrance, lilies for peace, chrysanthemums for mourning, and orchids for everlasting love."
Minghao has picked flowers for funerals before. He's also seen people hold onto flowers that are long past their bloom, clinging to them as if their presence alone could bring someone back. He's been there too.
It's bit a different when it's you though, and he doesn't exactly know how to explain it.
You plod slowly throughout the display, picking up a stem here and there, but each time, you set it back down as if it didn't feel right. But when you come across the orchids, you linger a little longer on them, tenderly caressing the petals as if you were scared to break them.
"I think I'll choose these ones. The orchids," You murmur, picking up a few stems and showing it to him.
Minghao just nods, taking the ones from your hands and grabbing a few more to finish the rest of the bouquet, moving with careful precision.
"I'll handle the rest, don't worry," he assures you as he gracefully works to arrange the orchids.
None of you choose to say anything more, only letting the diffident silence stretch. For some reason, the shop feels a little more cooler, the air heavier than usual. The only sound is the rustling of Minghao's hands moving carefully over the flowers, the quiet snap of a stem as he trims it with his shears. Outside, the snow continues to fall.
Minghao doesn't press for any details, yet even in the quiet, you have a feeling that he knows. Maybe that's why he's just letting his hands speak for him.
"Here you go." He offers you a neat bouquet of pale lavender orchids.
You step up to him to retrieve it from his grasp, bringing it close to your chest. "Thank you."
Minghao knows he shouldn't let his feelings get in the way, but as he takes note of the slight glassiness to your eyes and small tremble of your hands holding the bouquet, he isn't sure how much longer he can hold it in. He feels guilty when he lets his eyes drift down to your lips for a second, before averting it back up quickly.
The smile you give him is nothing short of fragile, faint, but it's there. And then, with a sudden leap, you find yourself leaning into Minghao's embrace without thinking, wrapping your arms around his body as if he was the only thing in the world that was preventing you from falling down. And in a way, he is.
His arms catch you instinctively, gentle yet steady, embracing around you like flowers petals folding inward for protection. His warmth seeps into you as if he were the sun reaching a flower in the early hours of dawn, and his hand comes up to cradle the back of your head, encouraging you to press closer into his warmth.
You don't cry𑁋not entirely. A single tear slips past your lashes, landing silently against his shoulder. He feels it, but he doesn't move, doesn't say anything, and just lets you... be.
"I'm sorry," You mumble into his shoulder. "I didn't mean to𑁋"
"Don't be," Minghao interrupts softly. "It's okay."
You pull away for a moment to look up at him. He's still holding you. His hands have fallen down to your sides, resting there as if he's held you like this before. The way you're looking at him has Minghao nearly forgetting how to breathe; it nearly urges to him to lean down and close the distance between the two of you.
His gaze lingers on your lips, and for a split second, Minghao almost allows himself to follow the instinct to lean in.
But then he stops himself.
He's not sure what this is, what the right thing to do is. His thoughts are tangled mess of roots𑁋he's always been careful with holding himself back, with promising to wait, yet something about the way you look at him makes it feel like the only right thing to do is to give in.
But he can't. Not yet. Not when you're so fragile and baring yourself raw to him.
Yet he sees the way your eyes flutter at him, the way a crease of question forms in between your brows as if you're also unsure of what this moment is, but there's a longing there too. It's almost pleading. And you lean in a little more towards him.
"Y/N," he breathes out your name, and it's the first time you ever heard his voice shake like that. "We... We shouldn't."
You don't say anything at first, your eyes searching his face like you're trying to read something. You open your mouth, close it, and then, with a slight exhale, you step back, only a little, but enough to let the cool air seep in between you.
"I'm sorry, I..." You squeeze your eyes shut for a moment, letting out a sniffle. "Fuck, I'm sorry..."
Minghao feels his chest tighten. "It's okay𑁋"
"I-I just wanted to feel something for a moment, you know? Everything is such a mess right now and the first person I thought of was you, because I like... the way you make me feel. I like it way more than I should. And that... that it's okay if you don't feel that way too."
Minghao's heart stutters at that, and perhaps the world even pauses too. All words that want to leave him become stuck in his throat, because he knows deep down𑁋from as far back as the moment you walked into the flower shop𑁋that he's felt the same way for far too long.
So, he settles with taking one hand from your side and slowly reaching up to trace your warm cheek with his thumb, his touch delicate as if he's afraid he might cause your petals to fall down. He brushes away a lingering tear that had been drying up on your skin and lets his hand stay there.
"You... deserve way more than just comfort in a moment like this," Minghao starts quietly. "But you're grieving right now, and I don't want to take advantage of that. I don't want to just be someone who's here for a moment, because... you mean so much to me more than that."
Your lips form into a tight, thin line, and you flicker your gaze towards the floor, the heaviness in the air still weighing down on your shoulders.
"Minghao..."
"And if I act on what I feel, it wouldn't be fair to you," Minghao continues, voice trembling slightly as he speaks. "I want it to be because you know what you want. And if you ever give me that chance, I promise I'll be here for you. Not just now, not just in this moment, but... for everything. When you're ready; when you're healed; when it feels right, I'll be here𑁋I always have been."
There's a lump in your throat that you swallow down. For a while, you could only simply stand there, feeling as if you're teetering on the edge of something you can't quite reach. But even as you stand in this stillness, there's something in his words that echoes off the walls of your mind𑁋it's understanding, and it's care, and it feels like a promise.
"I... I know. I just... I'm sorry for putting all this on you. I think I need space to... heal and think." Then you look back up at him, wonder tainting your features. "Will you wait for me?"
The question feels a bit silly to ask, and it makes Minghao's features soften as he looks at you, a warmth in his chest that spreads like the first rays of sunlight breaking through a cold morning.
"I've already been waiting for you," he says, almost cheekily, and it seems to lighten the moment a little. "I haven't planned on stopping anytime soon."
The chuckle that leaves you isn't forced; in fact, it's quite relieving. It feels like the start of something, and Minghao feels a flicker of hope at the sound.
You reluctantly separate yourself away from him, cradling the bouquet of orchids to your chest, and let out an exhale you hardly realise you were holding in.
"I'll be okay, you know," You tell him, even if it's a bit of lie, or half the truth. You can't tell which.
Minghao glances down to your hands, as if you're holding a piece of your heart wrapped up within the petals, before back up to your eyes.
"I know," is all he says.
The world doesn't stop for grief, but it's okay to pause for a little while.
Minghao wonders if flowers ever feel the same bittersweet pull when their petals fall𑁋the ache of letting go, but the quiet hope of something new taking root.
You haven't stepped foot in the flower shop in a while. At least, not as often as you used to come.
The absence is especially daunting, and Minghao can't help but feel it every time the bell chimes and it isn't you that walks through the door. On rare occasion you'd swing by to say hello during your breaks at work and sometimes, a pretty, shy smile from you before you disappear back into the world outside.
It's strange how easily your presence had come to be a part of the rhythm of his days. He used to wonder how someone like you would be drawn to the boring stillness of a flower shop. But now the place feels more emptier than before you came into his life, the petals around him somehow less vibrant, the air colder, even when the sun streams through the windows.
He tries not to dwell on it, but he can't help the nagging feeling that maybe you've drifted away, maybe things have changed. Maybe he was just a moment for you. And now, that moment has passed.
So he simply spends his days in the shop, moving between shelves of blossoms and arranging bouquets, but his thoughts always return to you. To the quiet moments when your voice would fill the space between the flowers, to the way you cared and tended the blooms even when you had no reason to.
It makes him think that if flowers could speak for us, then what might they say about you? Would they say you were someone who saw beauty in the smallest things? Minghao often found himself wishing that flowers could speak just so he can hear what they would say about you.
But flowers don't speak, of course. They just bloom and stretch toward the light, growing in places where they are tended to, and even in those that have been forgotten.
Maybe that's what Minghao was𑁋a forgotten flower of his own waiting to be seen, to be noticed.
Luckily, he was able to distract himself a bit today with a few deliveries for a couple of upcoming weddings and a new arrangement for the store he was preparing to do in the next few days, along with piles of orders for days. But it still wasn't enough.
As he flips the sign on the window to display Closed, he fumbles for his keys to lock the door. However, the sound of the bell rings through the shop, stopping him mid-motion. Minghao lifts a brow up, not expecting for anyone to show up right as he's about to close up.
And when he looks up, he freezes.
"I'm not late, aren't I?"
It's you.
The way your voice comes out all shaky like you're out of breath, yet soft has Minghao feeling as if he's sinking into quicksand. The sight of you standing at the doorway is a dream he never dares to wake up from.
"You're not," Minghao manages to say, somehow. "You're just in time."
Your lips tug into a small, relieved smile, and it's enough to make the air feel lighter in the shop. You take a few hesitant steps so that you're fully inside, letting the door shut behind you with a faint click.
Your lips tug into a small, relieved smile, and it's enough to make the air feel lighter in the shop. You take a few hesitant steps so that you're fully inside, letting the door shut behind you with a faint click. You take in the familiar, fresh scent of all the blooms and greenery around you, and it hits you in the heart just how much you've missed this place.
"I had, uh… a late shift at work," You explain unsurely. "so I thought about stopping by, but I wasn't sure if you'd still be here."
Minghao just shakes his head, watching as you brush your fingertips over some lilies and baby's breaths that were displayed on a small table near the window. Gosh, he'd do anything to flat out say how much he missed you, how much he'd been thinking about you, but he doesn't.
"Have you been busy?" You ask him.
"A little," he responds. "but manageable, I would say."
"Ah… that's good," You mumble, voice trailing off as you start to make your way in his direction, catching eye on a particular bouquet sitting on the counter behind him. "No-show again?"
Minghao lets out a sigh, and he feels you following behind as he walks towards the counter. He picks up the bouquet in his hand, letting his gaze fall over it.
"Mhm," he hums. "But it's alright, really. Happens more often than you think."
You quirk a brow as your eyes roam over the bouquet, and a particular, almost knowing look stretches across your lips.
"That's funny," You huff, taking the bouquet from his grasp. It held a colourful variety of hydrangeas. "It looks a lot like an order I placed a few days ago."
Minghao's heart skips a beat as he watches you carefully examine the bouquet, his breath caught in his throat.
"This… was yours?" he questions in surprise.
"Yeah, I…" You bite your lips sheepishly. "It was sort of an impulsive thing, I guess."
Minghao only continues to watch as you admire the bouquet, caressing over the delicate wrapping paper and the all-too familiar bow that he would tie all of his other arrangements.
"Impulsive, huh?" Minghao teases lightly, a hint of a smile playing at his lips. "Well, you certainly picked a good one."
You look up at him, a small, tentative smile forming on your face. "I guess I just wanted to get something special. For someone."
Minghao feels his heart sink at that, a flutter of hope and uncertainty colliding in his chest. Someone.
He opens his mouth to say something, but the words get caught in his throat, unsure if it's his place to ask, or if he even wants to hear the answer.
"I see," he says instead, trying to keep his tone relaxed, though there's a hint of sadness to his voice that he silently hopes you don't notice.
You take note of his unreadable expression, over the way his eyes appear downcast and a subtle tension to his posture.
However, this doesn't make you stop from gripping the bouquet tighter in your grasp, and then in the next moment, you're stepping closer and offering it over to him.
"I hope you like them," You state, holding out the bouquet thing as if was the most natural thing in the world.
Minghao glances at the bouquet quizzically, the same one he had just been holding, then back at you. His face shifts between a million different expressions𑁋confusion, surprise, hope, and everything in between𑁋before the tension in his chest eases just slightly as he finally registers what you're doing.
He's a florist, for crying out loud. He's usually the one to be giving flowers to people. Never in his years of practically living in the shop has anyone offered flowers to him. The gesture is practically foreign, yet in this moment, it feels so right.
His fingers graze against yours as he hesitantly takes it from your hands, but you fully let go. Instead, you cover his hand with yours, warmth spreading between you as you gently press your palm against his. His heart is beating in his throat, in his ears, everywhere in his body, and he wonders if you can feel it too.
"I missed you," You declare softly, yet a pinch of urgency behind your words. "I missed you so fucking much."
His chest tightens, and it's as if the weight of everything crushes him in the best possible way. All the time he had spent wondering if you had forgotten about him, if maybe you had moved on, it all melts away in an instant. Because you're here. And you're saying everything he's been craving to hear.
And gosh, does he want to kiss you right now.
This time, Minghao doesn't waste a second. He brings a hand up to cradle the side of your neck as he presses his lips to yours. It's perhaps a bit desperate first, making him swallow down a faint sigh you let out but it quickly settles into something softer, deeper, like two people who've been waiting for this moment for far too long.
He can feel the slight tremble in your breath as your lips move against his, and he pulls back slightly, just to make sure you were still with him.
Minghao lets his thumb lightly caress over your cheek as if trying to memorise the feeling of your skin under his touch, as if he'd been starved for this closeness.
"I missed you too," he whispers, a breath away from your lips. "The flowers did too."
A light, airy chuckle escapes from you. "Oh, did they?"
"Of course," Minghao murmurs, his lips curling upwards against your skin. "They've been waiting for you to come back."
"Well, I better not keep them waiting anymore then, right?" You jest playfully, leaning in back once again.
Minghao doesn't hesitate to meet you halfway. "Nope," he says firmly against your mouth. "I think they've waited long enough."
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bookie!
journalist!reader x business-man!hakari
cw...NSFW, slight manipulation, mention of intox, use of "mister" "sir" "doll", all the usual smut stuff LOL
word count...4.8k
a/n...this is my first fic ive posted publicly EEEK lowk nervy but i've read like 2 good hakari fics on this mf website and i js figured i might as well do it myself. my writing here IS NOT MY BEST, i plan to indulge into how i usually write. smut is a little harder for me to write so be patient AND NICE PLZ. mdni!please understand what kind of media you are consuming and be smart about it.
just the way hakari presented himself, it felt as if even if you didn’t suspect anything from him, it was obvious he was a secretive and cocky man. from how he dressed with his constant change between pimpy-fur coats and vulgar tanks with his ever-changing colored hair between purples, blacks, and blondes, it was no surprise he must’ve lied his way to the top.
and even with this assumption, you couldn’t deny the offer of living with him and your company's team. not necessarily living with him but staying in a private luxury hotel, and sure, maybe your job here wasn’t very important as a journalist but your boss insisted on you attending.
what kind of moron would pass on the opportunity of possibly breaking through one of japan’s wealthiest and slyest business men anyway?
something about interviews but mostly projects, maybe even a documentary went in your ear and out the other when your boss spoke to you about the expectations on this “trip.”
after being stuck on a reserved bus, you finally manage to push through and make it to a not very deserted place. matter of fact it was right in front of a busy street in the busiest city. you stretched your legs, cracked a few fingers, and headed to the entrance of the tall—what seemed to be marbled—hotel. if you could even call it that. seemed like a resort more than anything. you were told your bags full of equipment for work and clothes for the three day project would be handled by security. the front of the building were two big guards protecting any outsiders. pretty confidential for just a few days. it stays on brand with hakari’s whole attitude, a whole ass hotel in the city only allowing a few people with specific identification.
inside it looked like everybody from every corporate office in town had been messily dragged in. heavy steel tables were set randomly with even heavier bags and briefcases on top, open with papers and documents spilling out.
the man himself was sitting at one of the sturdy desks, his head down.
before you noticed that he decided to go purple, left his black blazer on the shoulders of the chair he sat on, you watched as his hand shook carefully on a paper given to him by the lady standing nearby.
his hot pink eyes dart back and forth across the page. you assume he was looking for another place to sign because he handed it right back to her after examining. hakari returns back to a binded notebook, the pen still in his fingers. he scribbles words down vigorously. part of you wonders what he’s got going on. another part wonders where your room will be.
you observe the rest of the lobby. you glance at your boss finally coming through security, the dumb, happy guy starts a conversation with almost everyone as he came. he calls hakari over as if they’ve known each other since the dawn of time, and he follows. they greet one another and you go blank on the rest until your name is called. quickly, you turn to face the men again and walk towards them.
"if the interview goes well—which i'm sure it will—perhaps the documentary could follow up.” your boss explains, still turnt to hakari.
“mhm oh yeah man i’m sure of it, yep.” he agrees, mooning. his white button up hugging him perfectly.
scrunched up sleeves, pen marks on his forearms. a few buttons undone from the neck.
“this young lady right here is the foundation of the writing department.”
“oh yeah. so i’ve read.”
he reaches a hand out, “took you a while to say hi.”
“you seemed busy, signing shit n’ whatnot.” you smile politely and firmly shake his hand. he cheeses a toothy grin, blue and silver gems shine back at you.
“pardon her words, man. you know how writers are—can write page upon pages yet their mind goes blank when they have a chance to speak—hah.” your boss shines his own nervous smile.
“ya, know what they say about business men, can talk for hours and hours, spill what seems to be almost everything, and still have secrets.” he darts his eyes to yours before closing and laughing richly with the older man.
﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌
you spend the rest of the night cozying up into your hotel room and lazily journaling down ideas, even scraping up an idea against hakari. you stretch your arms after tossing your notebook shut, you glance over at the alarm on the desk,
11:24 P.M.
it would be a good time to grab a snack, now that everyone should be asleep. at least you hope so as you walk out in casual clothes.
you toss the room’s card from hand to hand and pass quiet rooms until turning left to the snack bar. you were told earlier that food would be available for the company whenever, so you figured it must be open now too, with all the staff asleep or at their posts.
there was an incredible aroma of columbian brew with a dash of vanilla dancing with something hot, something fresh out of the oven. you’re greeted with his strong back. shaped tightly, almost too tight, was a simple white tank. on caramel skin, his wide shoulders flexed as he took a small spoon into his mug, tossing sugar packets and singles of liquid creamers into a trash bin. but it doesn’t really phase you. what were the chances of somebody being here? let alone hakari. it’s ironic and mostly awkward.
you could’ve left but the pastry before you was calling your name. how awkward could it really be?
you walk towards the counter he was just at, he who was walking back to a two-chaired table.
“it’s almost midnight.” he speaks and you freeze as if you’ve been caught. obviously, you haven’t, so you quickly grabbed a floral napkin and the pastry.
“writers stay up late, i know that. but they’re usually alone.”
“well how was i supposed to know somebody else was gonna be up? it is almost midnight.”
“you’re the one writing stories about me and talking shit, i’d assume you’d know everything about me.” he grins as he pulls a chair out, sitting in it and slowly stirring his coffee. steam swirls up from the cup. “take a seat.”
you walk to him and pull the other chair out, sitting quietly. you break apart the food in your hands and eat it piece by piece, examining the table subtly.
he’d been sitting there for a while; papers closed a binder with a few pens spilt around. an empty chip bag, a few crumbs near the bottom of the coffee cup, his hands warming up around it.
his hands were nice.
you swallow casually and look back at him. “you read my stuff? which one of your little employees do you have search for works written about you, huh?”
“i find ‘em myself, ‘nd you're lucky i don’t report them. can’t have nasty stuff circulating around me, whether if it’s true or not.”
“—or should i call them workers instead?” you ignore him.
“your writing is admirable.”
something about that made you lose track of what you were saying.
you lay back in your chair and mumble an okay.
you watch as he takes a sip of his sugared coffee, the steam cupping his face gently and flowing up.
“so when do you sleep?”
“i’ll go in a couple,” he says, cracking his knuckles. “schedule’s got all fucked ever since i got here. my manager—and don’t tell her i said this—doesn’t understand the concept of time, or maybe she’s fucking with me. how can i get three hours of paperwork done, meetings between each pile, ‘nd make phone calls back to back, but can’t stay up late?”
“damn, you’ve even got your sleep schedule sorted?”
“gotta sneak out here like some goddamn teenager. it’s no big deal, she’s knocked out at 10. jus’ gotta keep kissing her ass and thank her for taking such good care of me. she won’t suspect a thing.”
you giggle at the irony, “might as well be your girlfriend.”
“god, more like my mom.” you can see the outline of his tongue grazing his teeth as he grins. probably feeling the gems on his smile, you cross your legs at the view.
funny and handsome.
speaking of closing your thighs—you remember you have to get back to your room.
“we’ve got just three days,” you say as you stand from your chair, “i’m sure we’ll have to work our asses off tomorrow.” hakari looks up at you.
“hmm nobody tell you wha’s happening either?”
you shake your head and carefully bite the inside of your lip.
“m’kay. have a good rest of your night, then.” he nods back down and sips his coffee. his tone indicated he practically knew you weren’t sleeping immediately. to enjoy the rest of your night.
“yeah, i’ll make sure of it. goodnight.”
as happy as you were to receive a half-vacation, half-business trip at a hotel – the benefits of not having to wake up early just to drive almost an hour to work everyday, the entire company just being outside, your hands would not suffice. you thought to yourself earlier, how great it’d be to stay in a nice, cool room and wind down from a long day. keeping dirty fantasies in your head and just when you thought the tight, small circles on your heat could master an orgasm. but the thought of him kept interrupting.
a hand crawling up your neck and the other circling underneath your panties. closing your eyes as you concentrated on silver-haired men kissing your breasts, guys who stunk of cigarettes and coffee making out with your clit, god anybody willing to run their hands on your body. you jolt at the sudden twitch of your cunt, your back arching slightly. you groan. the man you’ve been practically stalking and have to work with is now appearing in your head while you masturbate. you switch the bedside lamp off and take off-white sheets over yourself.
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on the second day, you pass new people while walking down narrow hallways. each person looking more tired than the one before. you notice just how many people could fill up the lobby and snack bar. as enticing the syrup from breakfast smelled, you keep your distance from everybody else. carefully, you lick the inner of your lips and taste the lipgloss you applied earlier.
now popping your lips, backing up slowly, still examining the room until you feel what seems to be a pillar or wall behind you.
“hey… you got a light?” behind you. tall, peeping over you – was that a fur coat? hakari watches everybody else almost as intently as you were.
you stutter before reaching into your coat’s pocket, “yeah.” he takes it and quickly lights the now-appeared-cigarette of his mouth.
“a smoke for breakfast? that can’t be healthy.” you cross your arms as he flips the lighter in the air.
“it wouldn’t have been, hun, we had breakfast this morning already. don't you remember?” he exhales smoke that passes your jaw, making you shudder.
“here, sounds like you need it.” he says the last part through his teeth, pinching the end of the cig and lowering it to your mouth. you glare to your side and lean in to wrap your lips around it, inhaling. you pull away and spew smoke out much more discreetly. he takes another, blowing it out, licking his lips, “tastes like bubblegum.”
after set-ups and mic-checks in steel stools and numerous questions, you’re sitting in front of a laid-back hakari. his legs man-spread and his hands fixing his hair every other second. a very specific rage comes back to you. the same anger that you felt staying up to post blogs about complicated, but evident-filled, theories and what you truly think is the truth about the man sitting in front of you. the feeling is nostalgic. your nerves are overfilled with different emotions – since when could a man controlling so many industries, controlling so many people and still handle an underground fight club while acting like a semi-normal person? but normal people don’t wear fur-fucking-coats on the regular, let alone keep illegal ranges where people fight like bears just to be bet on like horses.
two cups of steaming coffee are placed in the high-wooden table between you and hakari.
“this part of the interview will be audio-presented. the second part will be videotaped.” the host of the section stands above the recorder, the rest of the crew standing around or still finishing breakfast. “etiquette for the tape is pretty simple – ‘ms and mr’ is usually set and the rest is self-explanitory.”
you nod kindly and look at the man, meeting his eyes, ones that perhaps never left you.
easy, almost-boring questions are asked but it hadn’t prepared you for what was going to come. the questions slowly make less and less connection and stay focused on hakari. “ethicality is mentioned within businesses and is no exception to your work, ms l/n.” before being asked the repetitive question, the topic being how many times can we make hakari look like a god in one tape, you interrupt the host.
“morals are nowhere to be found in such work. there’s – again – no sense.” now slouched, hakari responds, “tell me, when searching for a job that pays well, were you interested in the pay or how many hours you had to work? ‘s there something you w’na say about being able to survive or how comfortable you are?”
“sometimes it just boggles me to think about how one person needs more than one business. is it for fun, mister?”
“is what for fun, girl?”
“is being a con-man to violent people and making them believe knocking each other’s teeth out will help for fun?”
the host stutters and gets shushed, “well, you’re very right. that wouldn’t be ethical at all.” he smiles very faintly. too faintly for you to lash out and not make it seem like you’re crazy.
“untruthful about being a bookie and fight-promoter. does gachinko ring a bell?”
“any more questions? how about all my employees' salaries? wanna know my salary? how’s about ‘you busy after this?’”
the recorder falls off the foldable table after being shaken, “for the love of god.” your boss yells and stops. scrunching his fat nose and pinching the bridge. “that was the fourth time. i just… you know what, we’ll continue tomorrow morning. kinji you’ve got a meeting we’ve, i’ve, been trying to hold off but it seems like everybody’s in the mood for a break.” he walks to the exit of the lobby, followed by some of his crew. hakari gets up, exhaling and cracking his fingers and wrists.
“almost as good as your writing. but writers always gotta fuck up while speaking.” he picks up the recorder from the ground and tosses it to the full cups of coffee.
“are they going to post it?”
he shakes his head.
“then what?”
“might do it all again tomorrow. a little more strict, too. it’s not like it was a bad tape either. just like you know, i can’t let shit spread around about me. i would never allow it.”
you scoff and watch him walk off, cursing under your breath.
it’s the evening when he comes back, bringing a few drunk men through the guards. you nod your head back and forth between your open laptop and the men that find their wobbly way to the lounge's couches. you tune out their slurred talk and how hakari’s joking gets belly-laughs from them. he cackles with them, clapping his hands bluntly. he sighs, tears in his eyes, as he walks past the random suitcases and desks spread-about.
you type away at your slightly dull keys, clumsily taking your gel-pen and drabbling a note down.
“workin’ hard, i see.” you feel a heavy hand land on your left shoulder and glance over to the other side of the desk, hakari’s ringed-fingers tapping away at the steel.
“what’re you writing down…” he mumbles and leans over obnoxiously. you lean back in your chair, looking at him looking at your notes.
“god, are you drunk? didn’t you just have a meeting?”
“drunk? nah, i don’t get drunk.”
“i can smell the whiskey from your breath.”
“ah-ha, you knew i drank whiskey, huh. looks like even an overworked girl like you knows how to have fun, too.” he looks at you with literal joy in his pupils. face tampered with blush while smiling like a hyena. “anyway,” he stands back up, the grip on your shoulder falling to your bare-arm. “even your handwriting is nice.”
“uh-huh…” you press your thighs together, feeling the cold metal of his jewelry on your skin. his hand so big compared to your arm. part of you hopes his long gaze is down your blouse.
it is.
“ya look good.” he speaks through the rasp in his throat but all you hear is a mutter, he gives your arm a squeeze before patting it and walking toward the corridor of rooms.
you let out a shaky sigh and feel yourself burn up, staring at your yellow-notepad. hakari strides to his room, the last room of the hallway, stretching his arms. he takes a gold card out and shoves it into the slot.
he lets out a serene moan when his back hits the bed. tossing his keys, phone, and whatever junk out of his pockets onto the nightstand. his large coat following. he groans and kicks off his shoes. something still bothering him. he reaches his hands down to his belt and unravels it, throwing it down. unbuttoning and zipping to comfort the ache below his stomach.
god, how hard could a guy get from one conversation? his slit brows raise as he grins, taking his weeping cock and holding the base.
thinking about all the things you’d say,
you’re so vulgar. not enough action recently, huh? what stress’ll do to ya…
“yeah, baby, stress.” he takes his other hand and taps the underside of his cock in his palm. closing his eyes and imagining your sweet self between his legs, those same tits in his view. your pink tongue lolling out for him. “finally shut that smart-ass mouth up… use her for something fuckin’ useful.” he groans, stroking himself.
what makes him throb is how dumb you’d gotten when his hands were on you. how fucking sweet and quiet you went when his fingers stroked your arm, weren’t you exposing him just a couple of hours ago? what a desperate girl. he swears out as he jerks spurts of come onto his clothed shirt. “yeah, hmph god, yeah, that’s good..” he pants like a dog, eyes going heavy.
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another day passes and you haven’t come. guilt swats your hand away everytime you try, anyway. you start to get sick of the syrup and eggs roaming the air. you sit at the same spot from last evening and observe the room.
half of your company is eating breakfast or still passed out on the couch. the others, probably asleep or dealing with tech. your boss walks towards you and places a cup of coffee down in front of you.
“we oughta work on you, huh? hah!” he stirs wood in his own cup.
“you’re not hungover? i’m surprised you’re up this early.”
“gotta stay professional, ya know…i only had one shot. maybe a couple. this coffee’s really good, drink some.”
“right because drinks on the second day of a work-trip is highly professional.”
“hey, come on.” he frowns and drinks a sip of his obviously too hot roast. “where is everybody? hell, where’s kinji?” he drifts off to a new group of people near the snackbar.
the lobby fills again with the occasional technical difficulty, yet no hakari to be found. you wish you could throw it off and be so disconnected that you didn’t even realize the star wasn’t here like some of your colleagues, but you kept your eyes on that same corridor. the loud bitch from the room on the tallest floor went through your ear and out the other. you didn’t even realize the fly that was constantly buzzing had been trying to get your attention.
“do you know where kinji is?” she was beautiful but still his assistant, loud and fussy like a bad mom. if she didn’t know where he was, how were you supposed to know? you put on a concerned look with a little smile, “might be in his room.” you get up and begin walking to the hallway, how the hell did they not check his fucking room? you swear your eyes roll so far to the back of your head, that if you didn’t have ears to hear the bitch’s loud heels clacking, you could’ve seen her behind you. you turn to the last door on the right and knock, remembering how many men had to carry luggage upon luggage inside.
“hello? mister, we’re waiting on you.” you knock faster than time. “hakari?” the door swings open and your hand is met with another. before you can say anything, he shushes you and looks around, pulling you into his room and says, “give me a’minute. take a seat.” he leaves. by seat he probably refers to his bed, the entire room cluttered by stuff. you sit on the edge of his bed and sigh, taking a moment to collect what just happened.
he was shirtless. the bathroom door being open and light on explains why, he’d taken a shower. the mirror was still foggy and the towel hung on the door’s hanger. there was a faint smell of vanilla and something floral. you would’ve been pissed to be in a messy room like this but you figured it was better than being out with everybody else.
the door opens again and a calm hakari walks in, closing the door and locking it.
his hair is damp but you only notice how he’s clothed in a towel. one that hangs low at his hips.
“everybody’s waiting, and you’re not even dressed yet.”
“s’fine, y/n. i bought us some time. these people, they’ll listen to whatever i say.” he says with a smile, and you look back at him with confusion.
“but the interview…?” your mouth drops gently when his hand comes to hold your face.
he sighs and looks up and away. your legs are shut and you swallow the sudden pool of saliva in your mouth as your eyes are fixated on his sharp, shaved jawline and how his adam’s apple flexes as he speaks. “this job’s real tough, i know it is, ‘nd you want a break. doesn’t everyone?” he looks back down at you, his eyes filled with what seems to be.. lust? you furrow your eyebrows and nod slowly. he carefully puts some hair behind your ear and leans down to whisper against your skin, “w’na be a good girl and take some of that stress away from the both of us?” he kisses a part of your jaw, “my good girl?”
oh god.
did you write half of your career on this greedy man just for him to be licking your ear? leading a hand to your button-up and slowly undoing the pearly clasps?
his hand now on your bare leg, going up and up your mid-pencil skirt. you feel yourself get dizzy from the thought of him feeling your lacy panties, holding a hand on his strong shoulder, his skin slightly wet. did you wear them on purpose? you can’t think. he stands back up, his hand slithering and rubbing the back of your neck. breathing heavily, you start to undo the rest of your shirt’s buttons. “yeah, there ya go.” he encourages you until your laced bra is exposed.
he hooks a finger on the side of your panties and tugs them off, you reach under your skirt and tug the other side. he takes both sides and peels away, “mhhm, always liked a matching set.” your skin burns at embarrassment, not from what he said but how wet the middle of your core was and how drenched the crotch of your panties were.
“a lil’ kissin’ got you this soaked, huh? you want this? ain’t you just sweet, doll.” he throws it to the corner of the bed and hums when you nod. “s’quiet when you’re needy.” hakari pushes two fingers at your lips just when you thought you could finally say something. “open.” he demands gently and grins when you comply. they find their way to the middle of your mouth and you can’t help but suck softly. “mhm that’s good, suck ‘em good. cost about’a milli’ each, heh.” he takes them out and pushes you slowly onto your back, spreading your legs, holding one up with a burly arm.
“fuck.” is the only thing you manage to let out when he bunches your skirt up to your waist.
“be quiet f’me now.” he spits a glob onto his two fingers and presses them to your clit. you gasp at the content.
“so wet.” he mumbles.
circling tight, slippery rounds on your aching bud. the guilty friction you’ve been craving finally went through. a sudden warmth and pleasure take over your pelvis. heat rises to your upper body, your hands slightly shaking and your ears burning, god, what were you doing? you watch and feel his dirty mastered hand bring you shame. your entire career faltered just for your fulfillment, the guilt so heavy, it makes you moan out.
“huuh, mister – shit, i need it.” you speak whispers breathlessly.
“yeah? you need it, baby?” he brings his focus to your pathetic expression, pushing and curling two fingers into your cunt. you moan out and watch, feel, as his fingers pump in and out of you. his hands are skilled as they break you open little by little. “sweet girl with a needy cunt, must’ve hit the fuckin’ jackpot.” your clit throbbing as you watch him grope himself and ease his own ache through the white towel.
“c’mon, please sir.” you tap the side of his waist with your heeled foot.
“patience, girl.” he pulls his fingers out and pats your vulva a few times before pulling your body close to his. his hand finally, finally pulling down the towel. the thing that kept distracting you from nights of sleep now dripping pre just above your heat. he gives himself a couple of strokes, long and heavy as your body begged, driving yourself closer ‘til your ass was almost off the bed.
“shh shh.” he rubs his wet tip against your folds as you start begging quietly, your slits sloppily kissing. he groans when your cunt flutters, pushing himself into the first tight muscle.
you writhe at the sudden burn, making you mewl ever-so quietly.
“be a good girl f’me.” he presses a hand on your lower stomach in comfort before moving his hips forward with no intent of stopping until he’s bottomed out. you moan long whines and grind your body down to try and get more, the stretch already burning. “fuck, goddamn it.” the warmth you bring him is unmatched, all he can think about is how hot you feel.
“fuck me – wan’ more.” you clench down and get a moan out of him. his hands hold down onto your plush thighs as he rocks back and forth into you, your folds swallowing him whole everytime. your throat burns at the way you choke out whimpers, drool seeping from the sides of your plump lips. “what’s your company g’na think of you now, hmm? director of the – fuckin’ writing department– their smart girl’s gotta fuck it all up cause she couldn’t resist some cock.” his hips start to fasten and he keeps a tight grip on your legs, your pretty, fucked out, face stays red. “‘s okay, pretty. you ain’t gotta say nothing, jus’ take it like the dumb girl you are and i’ll forget about all the mean little things you said, mhm?”
“uh-huh.” your head’s spinning from the grinding he’s now doing, the underside of his cock rubbing back and forth and back and forth on the rough spot inside of you. your thighs tremble as you feel yourself getting close. you get louder and hiccup about how good it is.
“ya – yesyesyes please awh fuck,” your hands groping at the back of your neck and the hard nipples of your breast as you arch your back off of the white sheets, “coming – oh god kin’ i’m gonna come, come. thank you thank you…!” the hard waves of heat and fuzziness take up what seems to be your entire body as you cream all over the base of his cock, hakari still pumping himself inside, riding your release out. “god, fuck, baby. stay still.” eagerly, he takes his hard-on out and jerks himself above your mound before coming straight, hot lines of cum onto your stomach.
he pants, “you wanna talk to me about my morals?”
“jesus fuck. shut the fuck up.”
#goaskangel#jujutsu kaisen x reader#hakari kinji#kinji hakari#jujutsu kaisen smut#jjk smut#jjk x you#new author#gojo x reader#nanami x reader#jjk x reader#jujutsu kaisen fanfic#toji smut#toji fushiguro#toji x reader
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been thinking about how going through and getting used to the resets would genuinely limit flowey’s ability to do… well, basic things. like form conversations.
think about it. he’s scripted everything. and he’s had all the time in the world to work on scripts, too.
what if he hears someone talk, and through unrelated circumstances they say something they usually say in another, unrelated scenario. like… i dunno, when toriel gets killed in a certain way, she’ll say something along the lines of “how could anyone do something like this?” and flowey’s prone to responding with “oh, you haven’t even SEEN what i’ve done to papyrus!” because he knows if he does she’ll remember papyrus’ name and, if he times it right, warn sans, and that has a snowball affect that leads to his run being much more interesting.
and then toriel says the line post-pacifist for whatever reason (maybe she’s reading the news) and absentmindedly flowey immediately responds with his usual reply.
he gets several strong looks, and papyrus checks his back to make sure flowey didn’t attach a sticky note with the words “kick me” on it again.
or, okay, he’s used to thinking through responses until he finds the perfect one. sans gives him a “heya” and he spends 2 minutes trying to figure out what he means by that greeting, what he knows (flowey’s been struggling maintaining his pre-prepared facial expressions lately for some reason, no idea why) and how to respond in a way that doesn’t let on that he knows sans knows, but also let him know that he’s not letting down his guard, not to mention figuring out what face to say it with… by then, of course, sans has muttered a brief “uh. okay then” and walked away. and flowey can’t just reload to finally let loose his carefully crafted reply like he’s used to, either.
he honestly probably finds it easiest to talk to frisk. he doesn’t have a running tally of their likes and dislikes. so he doesn’t have enough to base lines on, and he’ll sometimes even end up saying the first thing that comes to his mind. crazy.
also. i don’t know about you, but when i get multiple choices in a video game i often choose the clearly “wrong” answer just to see what people say. you can’t progress after choosing it, anyway, so there’s no real loss.
i wonder if flowey has that same mentality. it might do a lot more than make people angry, though. like… let’s say toriel asks him “what would you like to eat for dinner today?” and he goes with eggplant parmigiana, he hates eggplant parmigiana it’s gross and chewy and obviously the wrong answer. and he just wants to see what she’ll say before he reloads and chooses the right answer (snails). he realizes too late what he just did.
so yeah, flowey would really struggle with talking, i think. it’d be a learning curve for sure. he’ll figure it out, of course, but it’ll take a while.
#undertale#flowey#this is not hating on eggplant parmigiana by the way#i love eggplant parmigiana but flowey’s a weirdo so he probably hates it
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There are several reasons I shan't continue with this one in particular (narrative reasons that you can probably see if you read it!) but I did say I would post it when I had written anything. Heads up, there's a little violence in this.
-----
Three universes away from the long war, Kurosaki Ichigo is alone.
He's a god now, for all the good that does anyone. The god-king of empty hueco mundo, the last remaining world: immortal, eternal, and all alone.
The wind howls across the stark desert landscape.
(If a man howls along with the wind in the desert, and there's not a single soul to hear anything ever again, does it really make a sound? When there is nothing else, you might as well consider philosophy.)
Tonight he pauses, mid-step, on the side of a sand dune.
He feels something outside himself. It's... pulling at him.
That's novel enough on its own. All he has here is a well of power, achieved too late to save anyone who matters, the endless cold desert, and memories of the lost worlds.
It's all he's had for years now.
He turns towards the tugging, head down, eyes distant.
Something, he thinks, still needs him.
...Someone?
He clenches and unclenches his fists. The idea that there's still someone out there who needs him, who he hasn't totally failed yet — it itches at him like an incubus. It's heady, potent, seductive.
Kurosaki Ichigo whirls, kicking up sand in his haste to answer the call.
For the first time in decades, he tears open a garganta and it actually goes somewhere new.
The feeling pulls him on.
--
Thirty minutes (and also infinity) earlier —
Technically speaking, you can summon stuff from outside the three worlds. Nobody does it, because inviting a horror from outside of spacetime to please come in and make itself at home is considered... er, highly inadvisable. And also, Kisuke guesses — and this is really secondary at this point in his life, given the state of Soul Society — because it's technically punishable in seireitei by summary obliteration from the reincarnation cycle.
But mostly it's that inviting in an alien abomination never improves circumstances.
The current situation has deteriorated so badly that Kisuke is willing to trade his little life, such as it is, for outside assistance. All his reading (of the books that survived, anyway) suggests that not only will outsiders accept sacrifices, but they also understand the concept of a contract.
He's pretty sure — pretty sure — that the design he's writing on the floor of what was once the Central 46 deliberation hall is a coherent contract in this new syllabary. Pretty sure.
Almost definitely.
...Probably.
"You sure about this?" Shinji wonders, from his slouch against the far wall. He's standing on some of the rubble they pushed to its outer walls. His hands are in the pockets of his long black coat, but Sakanade is in easy reach.
"Yes," Kisuke lies with easy confidence. He glances over his shoulder. Shinji's just as scarred as he is now. He's more subdued after the loss of the rest of the Vizards. They've all had their losses. "How long do you think we have?"
He rolls his shoulders. Sighs. "...Minutes, still, at least. Aizen loves messing around with Ichigo."
And, neither of them says, but both of them know, Kurosaki Ichigo is the only one who can still stand up to him for more than a minute at a time. Currently, he's out there backed up by Ishida and Nelliel, but they truly are just backup, there to make barriers and cause a big distraction if Ichigo goes down.
This is not the team Kisuke would have put on barrier duty, once upon a time. Hachi, Tessai, young Orihime even...
But now it's an arrancar and a quincy fighting the shinigami war. And Ichigo. Always Ichigo.
Because... that's who's left.
"You've got no time at all if he figures out your shitty idea is a suicide technique," Shinji reminds him, clicking his tongue.
That's true.
"It might not be a suicide technique," he says lightly. That thought makes his stomach turn, because either way he's giving himself up to whatever outsider can meet his terms. It's probably for the best if it just kills him.
"Uh-huh," says Shinji, like he's thinking exactly what Kisuke is thinking.
Kisuke goes back to his contract. He's pretty sure of it, but there's a lot of his own blood mixed in with the ink, and he's gotten lightheaded now. He compares it to his crumpled diagram carefully.
He's as sure as he can be that he's got it right. They are as ready as they will ever be to beg help off an alien deity.
"It looks right," he says finally.
Shinji straightens up. "Showtime?"
It's hard to read anything from his face, and it's not just the scars. They've all lost a hell of a lot, and Shinji's clearly braced for this one with the kind of grim skill that comes from practice: shut down, stone-faced, dead-eyed.
Kisuke has never been more grateful for how hard his remaining friends have become. Right now he thinks he could do anything, say anything, and it would break upon Shinji like a wave on a cliffside and fall away, leaving him untouched and indifferent.
This is it. Kisuke has risked his life plenty of times, but he's never just ...given it up before. This is the moment at which everything he is, has been, everything he has the potential to ever become, this is what it's worth: just one spell.
It comes down to his pale and trembling hands, smeared with ink and blood, pressed down to the design he's drawn on the floor.
He looks at Shinji and he meets his dark eyes and laughs. It sounds a bit like a broken hinge.
"Showtime," he agrees.
His reiatsu swells. He looks down and pretends he can't see Shinji close his eyes.
Then the design begins to glow, and he throws his call out into the great and terrible emptiness beyond the universe he knows, and then he can't see much of anything at all.
But he sure feels it when someone answers.
--
Now—
Ichigo blinks into being again in the middle of a fight. For a second he's confused, baffled — there has been nobody left to fight in his empty world for decades. Only him, and his hideously advanced regeneration, and the endless, screaming desert wind.
He's standing in a clear blue sky.
In that second of confusion, Aizen — Aizen? — stabs him, straight through the chest, and he can hear someone screaming his name.
It's the scream that gets him, if he's honest. The sword barely registers. But the voice... the voice is sharp and desperate and full of rage and horror and all that emotion is aimed directly at him, at Kurosaki Ichigo, long-abandoned little god. How long has it been, he thinks hazily, since he's heard his own name in someone else's voice? How long has it been since someone who valued him cried out for him?
It resurrects something in him. It's like his heart skips a beat, takes a moment to blink.
(Of course, Ichigo's heartbeat never actually skips. You can keep time by the steady thump of his immortal heart. His pulse is a metronome.)
He needs to do something about that voice. It's upset, so he's upset.
Triage. His brain arranges its priorities.
1. Aizen has stabbed him. He doesn't like this.
2. The voice is upset. This is upsetting him.
3. He doesn't know where he is, but it is not the desert. He likes this.
Ichigo wrenches the sword out of his chest in a spray of blood and pale, bubbling fluids. The wound bubbles white, hideously, and hisses into the cool reishi-rich air as it closes up.
Aizen's dark eyes go wide, but he hasn't got time to react. Ichigo keeps his grip on his blade, lunges forward, and cups the man's head in one hand. The skull disappears in the blast of a cero, and then Ichigo has the seconds he needs to obliterate the rest of him. That's the trick of it, you see: the regeneration offered by the hogyoku works only if there's something from which to regenerate — a charred bone, a lock of hair, a smear of blood.
In seconds all that's left is destruction.
That's point one taken care of.
Ichigo stops hovering in the sky, lands on a half-collapsed roof, and turns towards the echoes of the voice that screamed his name.
It's a tall, pale figure, dark haired and sharp eyed, and —
Ishida? he thinks. His brain stalls out.
"Ish... Ishida?"
"Kurosaki," he says, staring. "...He stabbed you."
Ichigo slides his hands over his own collarbone, his chest — the massive ragged slit in his shihakusho, wet with blood — and opens it, showing off the patched skin beneath. In a few hours, it won't even scar.
"Ishida," he repeats, unable to move past the fact of his being right — right there? Alive? Alive?
He stumbles closer to him, hand outstretched, and Ishida eyes him warily but he doesn't whip out his bow or run away, so Ichigo puts both hands right on his face, one each side of his jaw. He he presses his index fingers to the stems of his glasses feeling the cool metal and warm skin.
He's warm.
Ishida is warm. This is a human body, with a familiar human spirit inside it. They're both battered, but he knows them. He knows Ishida Uryu. He knows...
"Kurosaki," says Ishida, glowering out from between Ichigo's hands. His voice is a little slurred under Ichigo's compressing grip. "What the hell are you doing?"
Ichigo throws caution to the wind and hugs him, which goes about as well as can be expected: Ishida struggles, flopping like a fish on a line to show his displeasure, but he doesn't actually work very hard to dislodge Ichigo. He positively reeks of old sweat, acrid smoke, rust and the ugly meaty smell of healing injuries. Ichigo thinks he probably hasn't washed his hair in weeks.
He crams his face into his neck and breathes in like a crazy person. This is the best thing that's ever happened to him, maybe?
"Kuro — Ichigo! Unhand me!"
"Ishida," he gasps, clutching him. "Ishida, Ishida, Ishida." Like a chant. He might be rocking them a little.
This is when Ishida stops struggling. It's like something flicks on in his head, and the tension in his spine and shoulders changes its quality completely.
"Have you lost your mind?" he demands. He sounds like he's actually considering this possibility. His hands come up under Ichigo's arms, and very stiffly he attempts to hug back. "Kurosaki? Your reiatsu feels... different," Ishida mutters.
There's the world's most awkward squeeze, because apparently killing mass murdering wannabe-gods gets Ichigo enough credit with Ishida to rate physical affection — at least as long as he thinks he's on the edge of having some kind of psychiatric problem about it.
It feels so good. Ichigo might sob a little.
"Kurosaki. Answer me."
Ichigo makes a noise to show he's listening. He does not let go. He thinks about what he wants to say and settles on: "Yeah, yeah, I'm here. Where are we? What's going on?"
Ishida makes a much less positive noise in response to these questions.
Hoofbeats sound. That's... out of place.
"Ichigo!" cries a vaguely familiar voice, high and sweet and ringing like a struck bell. "We did it! Group hug!"
"What? No!" yowls Ishida, but of course it's way too late for that.
He can't dodge with Ichigo clinging to him like a limpet, and Ichigo doesn't even try, so Nelliel collides with them both. She is in her resurreccion form, a tall tangle of tumbling green hair and fur and hooves. She sends them both staggering with her mass. But her limbs are strong, and she pulls both of them into her instead of letting them fall.
Ichigo braces himself against Nel's side, shuddering. Ishida is pressed — smushed, really — against his front, and Nel is right there crowding her big warm-furred body into them.
"Stop it! Let — me — go!"
Ishida manages to shove Ichigo away, and then he uses an advanced movement technique to stage an immediate and unnecessarily dramatic tactical retreat.
"Eh? But you let him hug you!"
"He was acting weird!" Ishida accuses, pointing. "I thought he was going to cry!"
I am going to cry, Ichigo thinks. His eyes have been stinging since he first put his face in Ishida's gross sweaty neck. He blinks rapidly.
Nel, who allegedly lacks a heart but who has more emotional range in her right horn than Ishida does in his entire body, coos and encloses him in her arms, effortlessly pulling him off his feet. "You did it, Ichigo! Don't cry! We won!"
She spins around with him clutched to her, goat-antelope hooves clattering deftly over the rubble underfoot. "We won! We won!"
"We won," he repeats.
Yeah, he guesses they did, if she means he killed Aizen in the last five minutes.
But the thing is, for Ichigo... Aizen has been dead for thirty to forty years. Ichigo would know. He killed him.
Nel has been gone for even longer than that. In his memory, Aizen cut her hands off and gave her to one of the other espada to kill, to punish her disloyalty.
And Ishida...
He was Ichigo's cousin. And Ichigo never knew it, not until Aizen had already collapsed Soul Society and destabilised the living world. Not until after he was dead.
(He'll never forget how Ryuken told him. He was wreathed in cigarette smoke and leaning against the wall of the hospital, dry-eyed, icy and vicious in his grief: Your mother, your sisters, and now my son... he was your maternal cousin, did you know? No. I see you did not. It seems you have a rare talent for getting your family killed, Kurosaki.)
Ichigo looks around. They're standing amid the high-reishi rubble of what looks very much like Soul Society. It's a damaged, blown up Soul Society, with its pale towers sagging and broken stone tumbling across the cracked ground, but it's unmistakably Soul Society.
And to add to this mystery, the tugging of something outside of himself is still ongoing, drawing him off to the north. Ichigo looks that way, brows furrowed. He feels almost compelled to get moving in that direction. There's something there that's his.
"They must be finished with their spell by now," Ishida says, adjusting his glasses, which were left askew during the hugs.
Ichigo doesn't want to let go of Nel — he still kind of wants to go and grab Ishida, actually — but he needs to start moving. There's something there. He has to.
As he looks over the broken cityscape, memories come to him like riverbed silt, disturbed, rising to the surface of murky water.
Hey, he thinks suddenly. What's Ichigo doing here?
He squeezes his eyes abruptly shut.
He's here because he was meant to distract Aizen while Kisuke cast some kind of mega-kido, some crazy high-risk summoning, drawn out in blood in the old assembly hall.
And he's just killed Aizen because... the spell worked. And he's here and not over there because this body is an Ichigo body.
Kisuke tried to something and trick it into doing what he wanted, and now he's got... Ichigo?
The memories integrate with a horrific lurch. It's been decades since he last vomited anything, but for a second he feels like he really might. (It's been nine months, here.) Ichigo no longer needs to eat because he's immortal. He's a lowercase-g god. He's alone in Hueco Mundo and if he could die he'd be dead by now. (Ichigo used to be hungry all the time, here, but now they always have enough supplies. They stockpiled for so many more people than they now have.)
"Kurosaki?"
He opens his eyes. Looks at Ishida.
"...Let's go see Kisuke," he says slowly. He starts walking. It satisfies the relentless pull towards that call, at least.
Ichigo is not sure what Shinji and Kisuke were trying to summon, or if he's the really answer they were expecting.
"Do you think we can have a victory party?" Nel asks, tapping her lip.
"With who?" Ishida wonders. "You and Grimmjow? I'd rather get stuck in Kurosaki's octopus arms again."
Nel shoots him a look. "Grimmjow does his part. ... Mostly. He'll be sorry to have missed this, I think."
Grimmjow, Ichigo knows, is recovering from getting run through, with his usual bad grace. Unlike Ichigo, he isn't an immortal with instant regeneration powers.
"Yuzu," Ichigo suggests, in a lightning strike of memory. He's seared by it: Yuzu, beautiful and haunted, alone in the living world with no father and no mother and no twin. Ichigo hasn't been able to see her in a while, because her safety consists in her anonymity, but he can see her now. He can see her today, probably — he can pass through a garganta to the living world and crash her afternoon lectures and smoosh his face into her hair and hug her until her ribs creak.
He has so much living family here — a sister and a cousin he hasn't got killed. It seems like a tremendous wealth of family associations, suddenly.
...They're not really his, exactly. They're... this other Ichigo's. He lost his — Aizen killed Yuzu, eventually.
I am me, dumbass, he thinks to himself, in a confusing series of echoes and ripples.
Well. Fine then. Maybe they are his. No take backs, Local Ichigo.
I'm the same person!
Yeah, he's... giving himself a headache.
He's still integrating, he guesses. But he remembers the important things. Karin is dead. A building got dropped right on her during a hollow attack in Karakura. Horrific, but fast. In his world it was Szayelaporro who took both of them, hell-bent on dissecting his perfect rare quincy specimens.
There's something viscerally satisfying about the way his sister's name makes Ishida brighten. "That would be better."
"Ah, Yuzu-chan," coos Nel. "Your sister, right? She seems sweet."
"Yeah. My sister." He has a sister.
They pick up the pace by mutual consent. There's an equal mix of sonido, shunpo and hirenkyaku between them, but despite the minor differences, they all do pretty much the same thing.
When they get to the assembly hall — a place that no doubt had a real name when Soul Society's government used to gather here, which Ichigo of course cannot remember for love or money — its missing wall is covered by a huge, glittering barrier.
Shinji looks up as they approach, squinting through the barrier. His eyes are hooded beneath his sharp fringe.
His face is not as Ichigo remembers it from decades ago (which is to say he, uh, has a face, and not just a grizzly red topography of valleys and bumps where it got cut off) but also exactly as he remembers it from this morning.
The headache isn't going away.
"You're back early," he draws. It's an understatement. It's strange that they're back at all, probably. Ichigo privately marvels at hearing Shinji's drawling cynical voice and distinctive Kansai dialect again. "What happened?"
"Aizen's dead!" Nel crows, leaping right up to the barrier. "Ichigo killed him. Obliterated his entire body."
She sounds like a proud big sister. Accordingly, she slings one arm around Ichigo's shoulders and draws him in to her side. She's taller than him in her resurreccion. It's easy to fit under her arm, and he really, really likes the solid weight of it over his shoulders.
... He really misses being touched. It's so easy to sink into Nel. Her weird furry goat-ribs rise and fall against his side.
"You were trying to summon something. You got me, I think," Ichigo elaborates, throwing her arm off.
Something unnamable passes behind Shinji's eyes. For a moment they change, distinctly hollow, and then he settles back on his hips, long limbs folded.
"Ichigo, huh?" he asks, voice low and hostile.
"Don't be like that. It's still Ichigo," Nelliel says cheerfully. She pushes him towards Shinji. Ichigo leans back against her just to avoid slamming into the barrier. "Just smell him. It's just... extra Ichigo!"
"Extra Ichigo?" Ishida repeats. "Is that a good thing...?"
"Hey," says Ichigo, mildly.
Shinji eyes her. He declines to 'smell him'. "I'll take your word on it," he decides, finally.
"I need to come in," Ichigo says. Whatever it is he's drawn to, it's in the room with Shinji. He has to get to it. The closer he gets the more he needs it.
Shinji does not look like he wants to relent, but his barrier cracks like glass and falls in a rain of glittering reishi shards anyway.
Ichigo springs forward and past him.
Then he lays eyes on Kisuke and it feels like the whole world takes a breath around him.
He's hunched over his rusty-smelling ink design on the floor, pale-faced and leaking reiatsu. He looks terrible, exhausted and trembling. Ichigo knows in an instant what the design means.
It's god-knowledge, buried in his hindbrain.
He's never thought of himself in these terms before, but it's all here in the ink and blood, laid out before him and sealed with a sacrifice.
Ichigo knows he is is only a little god. But he's one who answers prayers.
"Yo, geta-boshi," he says, and drifts inexorably forward to sit before him.
I've been reading all those early half finished Bleach time travel/alternative universe fics about dimension hopping Ichigo going to a new time or dimension to fix the Aizen problem
I think I will write one, but not like in a way where I'm going to finish it at all; I think I am just going to stick my nose in my phone and write until I run out of steam. It's just, like, enrichment in my enclosure. There are so many possible ways to do it. Maybe I'll write 3. 😤
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... I have a lot of thoughts about Draxum.
#rottmnt#rise of the tmnt#art#my art#tmnt#my post#alt text#baron draxum#draxum#comic#my comic#does this count as a comic?#it's really more of a monologue with drawings#half of which are scenes from the show#idk#I had this little monologue or whatever you'd call it written up in the notes app of my phone for like six months now#figured I might as well try and do something with it#is this a bad time to post this given that the new comic just came out today?#maybe#oh well#I never post things at the optimal time anyways
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birthday boy 🎂
#river dipping#theodore doe#matthias evanoff#a burning house to live in#echthroi#ts4#ts4 edit#simblr#ts4 screenshots#theo i hope you're having the most insane birthday sex rn i hope it's ******** and ***** and ***'** **** *** **** ***** :)<3#sorry i put off making your birthday edit for so long that i had to pivot and post this edit instead of the one i wanted </3#...very funny how similar this is to that LAST render i posted... well so WHAT!! if i think matthias looming is sexy!!#this is based on a photo that everyone was drawing their ocs as so really it's not MY fault he's back there clinging and being a freak#actually if y'all want this pose lmk... i'll share it but fyi it's only meant to be seen from the waist up and idk how it'd look#on a sim that doesn't have the same muscle mass and like. bulk. that matthias has......................................#just got rock hard after typing that... anyway.#HAPPY BIRTHDAY THEO <333333333 LOVE YOU SO MUCH I PROMISE I'M GONNA KEEP WORKING ON THE //ACTUAL// BIRTHDAY EDIT!! like .#posted abt this on the sideblog but the real edit i have planned for him is making me lose my fucking gourd#and it'll probably take me :))) a few more days to figure out#expect a depressing theo-as-a-teenager edit eventually tho. with writing!! accompanying it!!#matthias's face has changed again btw 😭 i redid it almost immediately after i posted that first render attempt so he looks DIFFERENT!!#i posted screenshots of him in cas just the other day on my other acc and he looks so good in them i might post them here too#oh and!! this edit looks massively different than my last because this screenshot was taken with a new preset i made specifically for#the real birthday edit i'm working on... it's a hallway scene so i figured out depth and density to get this really cool fog effect#i'm really excited for it!! in my head the way it looks makes me crazy but idk if i can pull it off properly. but like i WAS SAYING!!#new preset is sooo sexy after i post this i'll reblog with the before and after to show you how good it looks even w/o any editing#like. the colors....... literally have always wanted a preset like this i'm so glad i spent yesterday fucking around with it#ALSO!! i've been doing those oc/ship dynamic templates for fun recently so i might post a few of them here soon#realize i'm rambling so much in these tags bc i haven't been here in forever kfjnkfjhn ummmmm. let me stop.#EVERYONE WISH THEO HAPPY BIRTHDAY RIGHT NOW 🫵‼
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Jessie gets her license.
#congrats to me on yet another wildly unfunny comic#one of those ideas that'd only be funny if it was animated and also only if you are me#the idea was there.#can't say I didn't try#put too much time into this to not post it so#still figuring out how to consistently draw Jessie#pokemon#pokeani#meowth#rocketshipping#kojimusa#team rocket#I cannot stop thinking about them#I might have to actually watch the later seasons for more content of them but#I cannot stand James' newer voice#he sounds like he's on the verge of crying constantly. Although that's probably accurate.#may have to find the sub versions just so I can power through it#I did watch some of the Sun and Moon anime though#I loved their little food truck. They should have quit Team Rocket and just carried on the food truck business. Wear pink hats all day#anyway listen to Me And You VS the World by Space!! It's my all time Rocketshipping song and it fits them so well
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I haven't said much about the QSMP Admin situation on Royal Archivist because I don't think every issue needs commentary from the peanut gallery, especially since most comments rarely contribute anything meaningful to the wider conversation.
However—
It's very sad seeing how hostile people are being towards each other right now. I know there are a lot of strong emotions and opinions about this issue (understandably– I've been in this situation many times as a freelancer, I Get It) but that does not excuse the behavior I've seen, nor does it excuse the hate, racism, harassment, and xenophobia.
Regardless of your opinion on how well things are being handled right now, and regardless of whether or not you want to step away from the series or continue engaging with it while trusting things will be resolved — harassing fellow fans, ex-admins or current admins, CCs, the French union, etc. doesn't help anyone.
There is NO excuse for spreading hate on behalf of anyone or anything, be it the server, Quackity, the admins, the other workers, or anyone else. This isn't the Crusades; you aren't fighting a holy war in the name of God, you're on social media fighting about a Minecraft series. Put the pitchforks down and take a break.
I'm not gonna get into my opinion on the matter (on here) further than this because like I said, peanut gallery talk and all that, but I've seen how amazing the QSMP community is, and how amazing we can be, I want our community to improve just like I want the server to improve.
Be kinder to each other, and take a break if you need to! It's important for us to be kind to ourselves too. If things are making you extremely distressed, it's better to take a step away from things.
In the wise words of FitMC: when in doubt, log the fuck out!
#mod talk#I posted this to Twitter but I figured I might as well crosspost this since I crosspost everything else#I haven't seen any of that here but I also don't delve into any tags. And I curate my feed ruthlessly#Anyways. Lots of love to the admins#Especially the update account admins y'all are the funniest people ever
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A third life Scott design concept for an animatic I probably will never finish - It was fun while it lasted :,)
#I do really like the non trippy Scott design#Like I'm actually pretty proud of the colors and shapes and stuff even though it is pretty messy and unfinished#maybe one day I will polish this#but probably not#anyways I figured I might as well post this anyways !!#mcyt#mcyt fanart#dangthatsalongname#scott smajor#scott major fanart#third life#third life fanart
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Do you see my vision
#my dc posting#my art#dc#jason todd#red hood#transfem jason todd#transwoman jason todd#trans fem jason todd#trans woman jason todd#its always so weird when uve made a character trans. and then u gotta use their canon name for tagging#i feel like im deadnaming her even tho i havent come up w a name yet#the lazarus pit gives spontaneous transition. even if u havent realized ur trans yet#i feel like itd be hard to become a respected n feared n succesful crime lord if she presented as female. because of the 'sogony.#so she can have a lil perry the platypus style shit goin on w a voice modifier in the helmet#also coming back as a woman would make batman less likely to connect her w his dead 'son'. so.#idk. i dont actually have a fully formed au or timeline in mind i just find it easier to draw women#its more of a psychological thing where if im in the headspace of 'this is a woman' it becomes just easier to draw the body#🤷 it is how it is ig#censored bc tumblr's a bitch n really it doesnt matter#i had a post w like 1 note that was literally just 'i dont think [insert name] is a good name for a transfem version of [insert character]'#and it got labelled Mature by tumblr so i figured might as well not even try n be Modest and shit w the way tumblr's fuckin it up rn#anyway shoutout to Daughter of Dragons by thispatternismine for the inspiration#...how does all that hair fit comfortably inside the helmet?#ah. hmm. well that is. it sure is a question! that i will not be answering.#jason todd fanart#dc fanart
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#ffxiv#kea lurvis#old kea#gpose shenanigans#anyway figure I might as well post this separately too haha
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she pays on my load until my point is captured.. or something like that
#i couldn’t find another version of that meme format to show for context so i just look crazy#anyways#the other 2 doodles were the first times i drew medic and demo!#figured i might as well post them they’re cute#tf2#tf2 fanart#tf2 medic#tf2 demoman#tf2 scout#tf2 sniper#tf2 pyro#they’re tiny but they’re all there#my art#unfortunately
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BRAIDS BRAIDS BRAIDS BRAI (mayu by @anbaisai || fayrouz by @fell-fell) :3c
i imagine yuusha gave the girls both their braids
#I FINALLY POSTED THIS AAAH#AND THIS IS QUEUED AT 4AM SO I DO NOT SEE IT UNTIL WAKE#i wanted to do more hairstyles ;;; but this has been in the drafts for a while so i figured i might as well post this first ;;;#the braided vs unbraided art were made in like two different days so that’s why they look different 😭#anyways#yuusha forcing them into the braid club#jk jk#when jamil isnt available yuusha will find other victims#she has a younger sibling back in her og world#so that’s where the instinct(tm) comes from#[—✦-#-✧ my art#twst art#twst#twisted wonderland#twst yuu#twst yuusona#(💜) yuusha#(🍙) mayu#(⛅) fayrouz#-✦—]#this is the 🪮💇♀️ from the poll the other day#i’m not sure if this is what people thought of but anyways.#i shouldve specified some of the emoji combos were prob inaccurate bc i couldnt decide what would be a good representation of the post 😭
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i made trolls stamps just for fun
#adding them to pinned post :-J#i wanted to make gif ones as well but i couldn't quite figure it out... next time i might though#anyway nothing fancy as this is my first time doing this. i must study this ancient art further 🧙♂️...#dreamworks trolls#trolls#web stamps
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GABRIELA DABROWSKI [CAN] & ERIN ROUTLIFFE [NZL] d. KATEŘINA SINIAKOVÁ [CZE] & TAYLOR TOWNSEND [USA] || WTA FINALS RIYADH DOUBLES FINAL || 11 09 2024
#:(#katerina siniakova#taylor townsend#wta tennis#need to get more consistent with my gif captions.#i usually bold the winner but im realizing that's unhelpful if i happen to be giffing the loser.#i think i have giffed karo losing before and bolded whoever beat her so i might go back and change that for consistency's sake#but it makes more sense to bold the person/people in the gif.....#anyways.#this sucked honestly. was rooting for them so fucking hard AND i have beef with routliffe. but whatever i guess life goes on#kind of avoiding tumblr but i made these anyway to be kind to myself and i figure if they're already made i might as well post them
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