#anyway..i think I'm rambling guys
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fingon, who was left behind and abandonend by just about anyone in his family at some point, who died alone because maedhros did not return to him in time either. how many times can you be second choice no matter how little it is about you and not have that fester into bitter, bitter anger. how much worse does it get, at some point, that it isn't even about you but you simply matter less than whatever else was more important just then. how long can you cling to the rationale before you always see everyone with one foot already out of the door. how long can you keep loving and loving and loving despite,until there is nothing left to give. and then keep giving anyway because, after all, you know what it's like to be abandonend
#*mine#mona rambles#tolkien#silm#fingon#anyway i'm fine why do you ask#like. important to me that this is not a judgment of the reasons why people left him/didn't return/etc#in most cases it really wasn't anyone's want or even decision#and obviously there were times where fingolfin crossed the ice for him! turgon opened gondolin!! and yet.#and YET. how many times until it starts scraping you raw regardless you know#i just think fingon. the complexities. the nuance. the anger and the abandonment issues and the pretending and!!!!#do you get it. shaking you. god. goddddddddd. my GUY#great wednesday night to have yet another breakdown over him end the day how you started it i guess
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When you find out years later that you accidentally named one of your henchmen
Image ID: A multi-panel comic featuring au sanses. Panel 1: In Killer's original universe. A dark figure stands in the foreground while Killer is sitting back in the snow, covered in blood. Killer says "wh-what are you?" Panel 2: The dark figure is Nightmare but only his smile is visible. He says "I am Nightmare, guardian of all negativity in the multiverse ...and I have a proposition for you, Sans." Panel 3: Nightmare's hand is outstreched, he says "Come with me willingly and I'll take you out of this desolate and barren universe and let you loose on many others." Panel 4: Killer is looking back at Nightmare warily, a thought bubble shows he is thinking "other universes...?". He says "...in exchange for what? What do you want with me?" Panel 5: Nightmare's tentacles are reaching out towards Killer. He says "I feed off the fear and misery and hatred in this world, stirring these up will keep me powerful enough to fight against the guardian of positivity. In short," Panel 6: Nightmare is looming over Killer now, his tentacles surrounding him. He says "I just need you to be a good little killer." The word killer is in red text. Panel 7: Killer is grasping Nightmare's hand, having accepted his offer. Panel 8: Now in a different au, Nightmare stands beside Killer as he taunts Dream, who is out of frame. He says "You're outnumbered now Dream, I have a killer with me this time." The word killer is in red text again. Panel 9: Dream is lying on the ground looking hurt and ruffed up. Killer is standing in the background, looking ready to continue beating Dream up. Nightmare says from out of frame "You should know better than to turn your back on a killer by now." The word killer is in red text again. Panel 10: Nightmare is standing by Killer again, looking smug. He says to Dream, who is not shown "You'll need more than that pathetic bow next time you meet with my killer here." The word killer is in red text again. Killer is looking towards Nightmare, pleased with this. Panel 11: We are now in Nightmare's castle, present day. It is revealed to be Killer telling these events to Dust, who looks bored. Killer says "-and the name stuck, so that's why I'm called Killer now." Dust says very quietly "did I ask" Panel 12: Nightmare is standing in the corner behind them, he looks very surprised and concerned after hearing all this. Text with an arrow pointing to him reads "Didn't realise he had done this." Killer from out of frame says "he doesn't really call me his killer anymore tho" with a frowny face. Dust, also out of frame, says "that's nice now shut up" End ID.
#UTDR#UTMV#My Art#Truce au#Killer Sans#Nightmare Sans#Remember when I said I wouldn't have that comic done? Sike I finished it earlier#Anyway you ever accidentally name a guy and don't realise until years later when he brings it up#Killer loves it because he feels special for getting his own name that's not just his au#(and also because he wants to be Nightmare's favourite and this is his evidence)#Nightmare hates this. He did NOT mean to name his henchman like a pet he feels awful#Maybe down the road Dream can convince him how much Killer loves it and he'll let it go#Killer absolutely hates being called sans he doesn't want to think about his old life#So the new job and name were kind of just what he needed at the start#Anyway I'm rambling. I just thought it was interesting Killer was one of the few to not be named for his au#And given the name it might be something Nightmare had a hand in#He also helped him find his signature look with the inverted clothes colours but we'll get to that another time this is already too long
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this was kalim's idea
#they were NOT invited by jamil#it was ace who did#i don't think kalim was even aware of the basketball game until ace invited them#they're giving attention to the guy who doesn't want it and not to the one who DOES want it#[—✦-#-✧ my art#twst art#twisted wonderland#twst#scarabia#jamil viper#kalim al asim#twst yuu#twst yuusona#(💜) yuusha#(💜) scarashackle dish#-✦—]#this was inspired by a webtoon i was reading aajkdsdjskal#i said i was going to take a break#but the little gremlin in my brain said no and i spedrun this piece#then the battery on my stylus finally died while i was drawing and i have zero replacements atm#i think the universe was trying to tell me something#anyways every now and then i try a new style of drawing#and sometimes i'm just pleasantly surprised#like wtf i've never done this before#i love it i should do it more#sorry for rambling in the tags aldjlfjsklfd#twst is rotting my brain
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can i just say. and this is probably a niche hill to die on. that i am so gobsmacked every time someone vaguely hints at the idea that jotaro doesn't care meaningfully for the other crusaders, usually particularly kakyoin and joseph, when those two actually tend to be the ones he reacts to being hurt the hardest
like he cares for his loved ones!!!! that literally plays into his character motives in every single part he shows up in!!! stop lying to me!!!!!!!
#me.txt#jjba#i'm going to ramble in tags actually. excuse me#ok. rereading sdc and so confused at the general perception of jotaro and his friends/family. he's not NEARLY as flat or as dickish#i understand that the anime (particularly the dub) tends to slander him but even then he still clearly cares for them! i'm confused#i also understand that a lot of people dig against jotaro and kakyoin as a dynamic because 'they're popular' and that generally disliking#popular things across media is a thing that i've seen consistently everywhere but the discredit to them simply as a DUO and not even as a#pairing is so..... odd..... like they're considered to be a duo that clicks for a reason. i enjoyed them even before i got into the fandom#every time i see someone say jotaro is overrated/dull i take a shot and assume they're an anime-only or only read the manga like once btw#joseph and jotaro also have a neat dynamic and they obviously both love and care for each other. like they're not going to go around loudly#or anything but literally the entirety of the lovers and the prelude to the dio fight IS jotaro being worked up over joseph getting hurt#equally i don't know if it translates to the anime as much but joseph is VERY complimentary when it comes to jotaro. like he sings his#praises so often and reminds everyone that he's his grandson so frequently (d'arby the gamer is a good example of this). either way it's so#peculiar....... there's not enough avdol and jotaro content btw (also in canon) because jotaro obviously looks up to him and avdol jokes#around with him on the occasion they interact after their intro which doesn't start very well. it's very cute#i do think an important thing to note about jotaro's character is how he acts AFTER his intro because he's so drastically different. early#jotaro and later jotaro aren't the same character and i do not mean this in a character development way. excluding the jail incident he's#completely different and probably shouldn't really be taken into account (especially considering the amount of slapstick in araki's intros)#and i think that's really???? what people center on for his character? Which sucks balls bad!#anyways. i could ramble more about this if asked i have so much to say but sigh. jotaro cares so much for his friends and family he's not a#flat fully cold asshole character regardless of whether you watch the anime or ova or read the manga. you just have poor media literacy#i wouldn't recommend watching solely the anime for his character though. the dub also changes a lot so it's... questionable#i love the anime and it's still important for him though. also adds neat stuff. i need to stop myself. i have many thoughts on the matter#jotaro kujo#joseph joestar#noriaki kakyoin#adding in case anyone sees: i am not saying that he is perfect about this. in fact he is very ass about it with jolyne and holly and that's#very important. he also is in fact an asshole sometimes. NOT as much as you guys are making him though!#please don't get me started on how much of a dick etc people make kakyoin to veer away from the 'woobified' characterizations of him#in fact i think that's bad if not worse because it CLAIMS to be in character. hes a prim asshole at times but not that angry or dishevelled
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you ever just have a lot, a LOT of feelings all at once about a character and not even remotely enough words or brainpower to FORM the words to describe everything you're feeling. so it feels like you may explode. yeah
#sorry i got really into my feelings about mark hoffman again#the very specific version of him in my brain that i really really wish i had the time and energy to properly share with you guys#saw#well until i muster the energy to explode all of my feelings out into a fic. if you want to TRY and understand#know that my three biggest hoffman fic insps right now are as follows#your best kept secret hoffman. a series of mistakes hoffman. and rushed like a dreadful wind hoffman.#there is a very clear throughline just know i am extremely emotionally compromised rn#thinking about theee fics vs the canon path hoffman spirals down#something something the absolute tragedy of watching a man's descent into madness#the transformation of a man into a monster#and what could have saved him from himself and kramer's corruption#sorry i'm rambling so much oh my god i was just having such a crying fit out of nowhere about this#do you think he could feel it happening. do you think he was aware he was losing his mind.#the script version of him fucks with me so bad. the crazed rankings and the longer hair and him not being well kept anymore#it's impossible to think he didn't know he was deteriorating#fuuuck okay i need to either chill or write a whole longfic rn#i project on that guy so much i truly don't know if i could properly write my vision of him#until i do something more substantial the full extent of my hoffman exists for me and my boyfriend only. they get me like no one else#well ginny and jenna also get me. please read best kept secret and a series of mistakes Oh My God#where am i going with this. i like tag rambling actually this is a nice way to do it without forcing EVERYONE to read my delirium#anyways if you've read all of this i think i love you? feel free to dm me about hoffman and my very specific headcanons and aus#maybe soon i'll try and start writing my fics about this tragic man#i could never say any of this on twitter btw they'd string me up for my opinions on him as a sad wet beast who could have been fixed#if only he hadn't been weaponized first#god i'm too tired to even be as embarrassed about this as i should be. thought i unlearned cringe already#but i've been spending way too much time on twitter and they HAAATE hoffman there#rip. i know it's not that serious but i'm sensitive rn and hate feeling lonely in my thoughts#ok bye for real otherwise i'll never shut up. i might tag ramble more often bc this was therapeutic in a way i needed badly#cat chat
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pest control TWO!!!!! heres the first one
adn heres the obligatory bonus bc i can't help myself :')
#i already threatened that little basard twice in these i may as well make good on it#pizza tower#peppino spaghetti#fake peppino#the noise#fp ''oh god wait that is not a real rat and also tastes awful'' moments. he doesnt actually have any interest in eating that thang ok#even if seeing a small scampering little guy like that WILL activate his prey drive without fail#peppino loves it he thinks it's the funniest shit in the world for fp to go after noise. so he is always encouraging this.#but anyway yeah. fp is *really* not the one noise should be worried about.#arting#pizzaposting#i still have lots of tag room thjis time so im gonna do some tangential nonsense rambling. e#fp gotta be like crazy good at hunting i think. not just for strength and predator instincts but also bc like#he doesn't have much in the way of a scent or body heat or anything that would give him away as an alive thing#not to mention he's uh... not particularly organically-shaped a lot of the time#so esp. to smaller prey that don't like... memorize a landscape; if he holds very still he's like completely undetectable#total ambush king. though i'm sure hes also very good at#persistence and pursuit hunting since he has peppino's speed and no way of getting muscle fatigue. ultimate beast#fortunately he doesnt care that much and doesnt really need to eat so hes not devastating the local ecosystem or anything#except for the rats.
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Not me rewatching bits of parkciv season 2 bc i LOVE Parkour Villain's speeches--
#he has THE. PERFECT villain voice omg#soft-spoken and well enunciated. confident yet he never rushes — he's had ALL the time in the world to think things through#also he's somehow the ONLY ONE that doesn't sound like he's acting all the time lmao#THE WAY SEAWATT STALLS ON THE 2ND NEO JUMP ON THE PARKOUR RACE--#actively losing my mind#actively going insane over a collection of pixels and some random man speaking — great.#also maybe I'm biased. but i love his minecraft skin????#clowpierce had a GREAT minecraft skin#also doing research on babygirl bc i love him and i HAVE to do him justice when i write him .#(he's STILL probably gonna be ooc. my man BARELY has a personality that isn't “evil bad guy of the season” so. yea)#anyway#demon rambles™#parkour civilization#parkour villain#clownpierce#parkciv#pkciv
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Happy Pride Month everyone!
Lets all ponder the gay ass apple with Kazui.
#milgram#milgram fanart#iris draws#kazui mukuhara#I forgot the stripes on his vest#oops... oh well#i struggle with drawing kazui more than other prisoners (it's the face)#i should really practice drawing him more (or just anyone who isn't mikoto)#(i draw mikoto wayyyy to often he's like my default guy)#fun fact: i drew this a couple days ago but couldn't think of a funny caption#anyways it's pride month baby!#i think i'm asexual but i'm not 100% sure#like i've found people aesthetically “pretty” in the past but not like sexually attractive#like i don't want to fuck or date them#i just think they look/dress nice#but i also i'm just fairly reclusive so... maybe there are just no sexy people in my area?#i'll be entering college soon anyway so i'll definitely have the chance to meet some new people#but i still think the chance of me actually finding someone attractive is 1 in 1000000#sorry for rambling a bit i just thought i should say something
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I don't think I'm ever getting over izuku pulling kacchan's tie. what was he (horikoshi) thinking
#both in a funny ahah they're fags way and in a dude genuinely what are you showing what are you doing what were you thinking#izuku was TREMBLING while katsuki put a hand on his shoulder in the first episode he was barely able to talk back that one time#and now he's /pulling his tie/? holy shit what if I died for them guys#anyways. sorry their development rotates in my mind constantly#omg i should make a tie pull cube. fuck I'm in bed#mad mha ramblings//#mha#bkdk
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Here he is! I'm so glad I have a heart keyring lying around to put on him.
Here's him with the other 2 charms I made. (Lol. Family photo)
#I was able to fix Bob's knife finally!#gummigoo's hat has been getting chipped off overtime from just being on my backpack#poor guy#I'm thinking of doing the rest of the welcome home characters#howdy will be next for sure#I love making clay charms#i'm learning during all this#I'm experimenting new skills#but more on using eye perception on creating these goobers#So there is more to come#anyways#rambles#artists on tumblr#cute#welcome home#barnaby b beagle#welcome home barnaby#spooky month#spooky month bob#bob velseb#the amazing digital circus#gummigoo#the amazing digital circus gummigoo#clay charms
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the post-canon jetko dynamic I'm crafting is like. ok so these two men who both feel things WAY too much can function well when separated [either through distraction/hierarchy of priority/conscious refusal to acknowledge certain feelings about certain people (at least on Jet's end, Zuko isn't emotionally savvy enough to CONSCIOUSLY repress his emotions)] but when you put them in a room together its like splitting the atom. like you have a certain amount of time before they cant ignore each other any longer.
THAT or they just slot back together like nothing has happened or no time has elapsed at all. maybe they make a creepily professional and efficient duo. maybe the smooth working-together (a la "we made a good team" Ferry dynamic) is like. the Prelude to the eruption. What I'm saying is they both have the POTENTIAL to be incredibly possessive people but would also never admit to it so instead they'd just have to have crazy reunion sex all the time.
#funnily enough I really think that post-canon Zuko is more likely to admit that he has feelings for Jet than post-canon#Jet is likely to admit anything. Post-canon Jet would be like. tortured. like this guy is your burden damn it. and#you can't get rid of him/get him out of your head no matter how bad you want to. its INSULTING that he's this important to you.#but what would be even MORE insulting is if YOU didn't consume HIS thoughts as much as he consumes yours. hence why I think Jet would#try and play mind games (that could backfire on him depending on how emotionally intelligent Zuko is feeling at the time)#<- reading this ur probably like 'ohhh heavy angst' but like coming from a background of Batman shipping... oh this is fun. I'm having fun.#THEY'RE having fun. even if they wont admit it. anyway#jetko#post-canon jetko ramblings#<- GO TO BED... find some dinner... whatever
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thinking about this right now
#nettsy rambling#nsr#struggling for words rn because i woke up like 45 minutes ago but are you guys seeing the parallel here#thinking about how both west and eve said these things during their frenzied/angered(?) rants#in which they both tear down zuke in a perhaps unsuccessful attempt at making them feel better about themselves/'greater' than him#and therefore undeserving of his [defiance] ...#(as in. disappearing and suddenly having formed Bunk Bed Junction after everything they did together#and 'stealing my friends AND my girl' in west's case)#[for the record 'defiance' is probably NOT the word but it's the closest thing to what i'm attempting to convey here]#anyways#... all of which i think was really just Zuke growing and developing as His Own person. separate from both eve and his brother#who i'm assuming were the Main forces in his life during his college career#*scratches head*#hiding this in the tags because idk well i articulated it#but you get what i mean right
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HEY. POINTS FINGER… any thoughts on how everyone reacted when the other joined the team? as in how did killer react when dust came, how did he and dust react when horror came, how did they all react when cross came, etc. i love love LOVE your bad sanses thoughts way too much they make me so happy. if i write hurt you write comfort and it’s awesome. also how do you think they slowly started to get closer? just.. bah give me your thoughts on them!!!! any thoughts!!!!!!!!!
You fool!! You’ve given me a chance to ramble about my special little guys and now this post will stretch on forever!! Mwahahahahah >:3c
No but seriously this is probably gonna be wicked long cause I have 1 million thoughts about these guys joining and meeting each other so uh, readmore for everybody’s safety and sanity
(^ I wrote that in the document before I started typing out my actual thoughts and uh
yeah no kidding, this is like a fucking essay so proceed with caution)
OKAY SO
I’ve said before that Nightmare got Dust for two reasons; one being that Dream had just recently started working with Ink (and soon Blue) so he and Killer were no longer able to gang up on Dream. He wanted somebody else to bulk up their numbers and give Killer a little back up. He also was starting to realise that Killer didn’t handle being alone very well, since this was when he most often got worked up and broke things around the castle (and sometimes tipped over into stage 3). Dust would be a perfect fit since he had the same amount of lvl and fighting experience as Killer, and since they were so close in circumstance they would be practically like brothers right?
The irony that he thought this about a guy he was recruiting to help kill his brother was apparently lost on him.
They absolutely hated each other. Like, it was instant. Killer saw him as a replacement, why would boss go out and get another sans - one with almost the same backstory as me - when I’m right here? Does he think I’m not good enough? Am I disposable and this is the backup for when I die in combat? He didn’t take it well. He took it all out on Dust too, not cooperating in battle, trying to start fights in the castle, etc. He couldn’t outright kill him because Nightmare had given him strict orders not to, but Killer loves a loophole. If he roughed Dust up down to 1hp and something else happened to finish him off, technically he’d followed orders.
Dust just straight up didn’t want to be there. Nightmare just showing up and yoinking him had worked fine with Killer, but Dust had wanted to sit in his empty au and die, he had no intention of joining a team or doing work of any kind - good or bad. The only reason he didn’t just lie down and refuse the entire time was that he had to fight back against Killer, as much as he wanted to die he refused to give this ass the satisfaction or lvl. He didn’t intend to be any help out in the field either, but again, Killer was making sure he got fired at so he had to retaliate to stay alive.
Eventually it got bad enough that Nightmare had to pull Killer aside and demand answers. In the year or so of knowing him Killer had never willfully disobeyed orders before, so Nightmare needed to know what had gotten into him. He dispelled the replacement rumour right away, he still wasn’t quite softened up enough to be sappy about it but he made sure Killer understood what a good worker he was and that Nightmare had no intention of losing him. It didn’t help a lot, they still hated each other for other reasons, but it eased a little.
Killer still had pretty frequent dips into stage 3, except now he would go straight for Dust usually. Nightmare had tried to explain what he’d learned about it to Dust, but he didn’t really believe that it wasn’t just Killer deciding to try and kill him for funsies. He only accepted it after a particular episode where he attacked Nightmare instead, which Dust knew Killer wouldn’t try in his right mind.
After he came back to his senses he sought Dust out. The air around Killer was very different after a stage 3, sort of sombre and almost calm, so Dust let them sit together and Killer apologised for giving him such a hard time. They actually talked for the first time in months while Killer was still calm (or tolerable, as Dust describes it), and it didn’t magically fix everything but, things were a little better. They still fought and argued and bothered each other but it wasn’t as sharp, there was a lack of real murderous intent in it all, and sometimes after an episode they would talk a little bit. It was the best Nightmare was going to get for now, so he took it.
They were still completely incompetent about taking care of themselves though. Neither of them would eat unless prompted and Nightmare didn’t have good enough knowledge of mortals to know when that should be to stop them passing out from hunger on the job. Not to mention the stars were now a full team, and with the way Killer and Dust would sometimes rather target each other on the field he could do with more backup.
Horror was the first of the group to get a choice in joining. Nightmare had taken note of how much Dust didn’t want to be part of things, and while it was in his best interests in the long run given his situation, Horror’s au was still mostly intact - though a little in disrepair. Horror was also the first in the group to have a good (and ongoing) relationship with his brother, so Nightmare knew he couldn’t just pop in and steal him, he had to be a bit more diplomatic with this one and offer a deal.
He gave Horror some time to think on his proposal - he would set up regular deliveries of food to Horror’s au in exchange for him joining their team - and was quite surprised when Horror agreed, with some stipulations. Horror was equally surprised when Nightmare agreed so easily to his terms (that he didn’t want his brother to know what he’d be doing, and that he wouldn’t kill). A little down the line the terms were altered to add that he would also be left to visit his au every week or so.
Horror was not impressed meeting the other two. He didn’t need his power as judge anymore to sense the lvl coming off them both, and given who they were working for he was instantly distrustful of them both (the uh, brother situation did not help). He was also in a place that had an abundance of food for the first time in probably years, so he was doing a lot of going hog wild in the kitchen and then getting very sick as a result.
Dust didn’t particularly feel anything for him. This guy hated him, sure, but it wasn’t forward and slashy like with Killer, it was just quiet loathing which was fine. That’s how Dust felt about himself so, y’know, mood. He did kind of feel sorry for him though, not just because of the whole famine and everything, but also because he was watching this guy eat like his life depended on it and then get sick and undo it day after day. He was the one who suggested Horror getting his food in moderation to Nightmare, which did help but was an absolute ordeal to enforce. Y’know how some people get hangry? Imagine that but you haven’t had a proper meal in years and now these people give you tiny amounts of food and don’t let you eat more for hours. The hunger mood swings were a sight to behold, you would never have guessed in those days that Horror specified not wanting to kill.
When his ability to eat had evened out and he was in better shape, Horror made a point of apologising to Dust for being aggressive with him. Over time he’d kind of softened up on him from his initial impression, since he could see plainly how wracked with guilt Dust was over his situation. It was a little easier to imagine that whatever he’d done was truly out of desperation and not just for fun, as Horror had assumed at first sight.
They also both retained that classic sans laziness, so it was easy for them to share a space while saying and doing nothing. It made Horror the first person that Dust willingly spent time around in the castle (and vice versa since Horror was still largely suspicious of Nightmare and Killer - the deal seemed too good to be true and the stage 3 episodes didn’t help). As time went on, Horror kind of became Dust’s emotional support skeleton in a way. Dust had become quite averse to touch in his solitude and Horror very slowly brought him back out with casual gentle touches, until not only did he no longer freeze or stiffen at being grabbed but Dust would seek him out to flop next to on the couch. Horror claimed it was just returning the favour for helping with his eating situation, but really it was nice to have something resembling a friend here.
Killer, for his part, was going through This is My Replacement 2: Electric Boogaloo. Not to the same degree as with Dust, since Horror was quite a bit different, but Killer was still wary of this new addition. He didn’t really instigate anything though since, to be honest, Horror had the intimidation factor. He was like a foot taller than both of them, he had a cracked skull and completely different magic and it seemed like every time Killer saw him he was eating bread like a wolf eats a deer. So while he was going through his food moderating, Killer mostly just stayed quiet and kept his distance.
Horror had not softened on him like he had with Dust, since Killer didn’t openly show remorse. He still watched him with distrust, especially after seeing the way he scrapped with Dust for seemingly no reason other than for violence’s sake. Killer was still mostly targeting Dust in his stage 3s, but Horror had to be careful to stay out of his way since he was still working with much lower hp than the other two. What did start to convince him was seeing how similar Killer and Dust were after a stage 3 episode. Once Killer was slightly more composed (ie stopped crying), he became so tired and quiet and blunt about things he normally joked his way around. It was a little startling, but also started to bring Horror around to the idea that Killer might regret his actions too, just buried under several layers of whatever the hell is also wrong with him at any given time.
Killer and Horror only really started interacting after talking about Dust. Killer was asking how he got Dust to like him since he seems to hate everyone and everything else, Horror told him very pointedly it was because he wasn’t trying to kill Dust. Killer admitted he wasn’t trying to kill Dust, at least not anymore, he just wanted to fight for fun. It opened up a better channel of understanding, knowing that Killer did not actually have murderous intent behind his swings (stage 3 notwithstanding). It made it easier for Horror to occasionally get involved in the roughhousing which Killer delighted in, knowing that the other two knew how to hold back enough to keep him from dusting.
Speaking of stage 3, it was around this time that Killer and Dust made a very important deal. After a particularly rough episode with a little too close of a call, Killer showed up in Dust’s room and begged him shakily to make a promise - that if he ever got too out of control during one of his stages, Dust would kill him. He’d been told over and over by Nightmare that it was impossible for Killer to hurt him since he was immortal, but now there were more people around him where that wasn’t the case, and he wouldn’t be able to live with himself if he came out of a stage and found himself alone. Dust promised.
It’s also worth mentioning that, once they were all close enough to be on speaking terms, Horror started bullying the shit out of these two about eating. Now that Horror knew neither of them were going to kill him, he felt safe enough to pick them up by the scruff and set them at the table to say they weren’t leaving until they had at least a snack. He let them pick what they would eat - he wasn’t that cruel about it - but he had to see them eat at least 3 times a day or they would hear about it.
It was by no means perfect or regular, but after about half a year Nightmare finally had henchmen who ate food and worked together (mostly).
Now here’s the problem… I still haven’t really figured out how or why Cross joined the team. Like, obviously there’s some kind of point in the events of underverse where it splits off into an alternate timeline, but I haven’t really figured out where yet so. Leave that one with me just a little longer. Cross joins.
Nightmare really truly didn’t intend to take anyone else in. They were (mostly) getting along, they were pretty well matched to fight the stars, he had no need of more mortals.
…but he was also pretty soft at this point. Every one of them had taken a blow to his I’m immortal I’m an island I don’t get attached to others persona and he’d gotten pretty damn fond of them all. This was why when he felt the sheer weight of loneliness radiating off of Cross, he just couldn’t bring himself to leave him.
So Cross entered the castle.
He did not particularly intend to stay or make friends, he was trying to get his world back and nothing more. He even revealed a little down the line that he outright refused to kill, and was quite surprised to find that Nightmare was fine with that. At the start he was polite but not friendly with the others and mostly kept to himself.
Dust, as is often the case, did not really have an opinion. Another new guy, this one was self sufficient and didn’t bother him so he had no reason to get involved. He was content to be in the same room as Cross but didn’t start up any conversations.
Horror felt the need to speak to Cross, since Dust would happily stay silent for years and Killer was, well, Killer. Horror was somehow the closest thing to normal they had, so he was the one that made small talk. Mostly asking what Cross would like for meals and encouraging him to pick something he liked when he got the answer of “anything is fine”. As Cross settled in a bit more and actually opened up, they bonded over being the only two to enjoy food. Horror made a point of adding chocolate to the stock they kept in the kitchen and making tacos here and there for Cross.
Horror was also the first Cross kind of warmed to, mostly because he was the one devoid of lvl and Nightmare had mentioned he’d also said he wouldn’t kill. Learning a little about his au’s situation only softened Cross to him more, especially seeing that he still cared a lot for his brother and was trying to protect his home (even if Cross found it unthinkable that he lived away from it). It was through Horror that he also got accustomed to Dust, how being quiet and distant was kind of his default and that he also felt deeply haunted by the loss of his world. They weren’t exactly friends, but it was comfortable enough.
So now boss had taken in another new person, someone who takes orders like a soldier and fights with knives and ruthless precision and aims to be his righthand man, and Killer was ecstatic. By now he’d mostly put his fears of being disposable behind him, Nightmare had gotten a bit less subtle in showing how important they all were to him and Killer felt confident he wouldn’t be replaced. Which was a little bit funny, because the only guy he didn’t feel threatened by was the one who absolutely competed for his spot.
Cross needed to prove he was useful, he had to feel like he earned his keep and that all the training and suffering he’d done was for a reason. When Nightmare sent them on missions, Cross aimed to be the fastest and the most efficient and to report to Nightmare without question. Horror and Dust looking on would have expected Killer to see this 100% as a threat to his position as (self proclaimed) Nightmare’s second in command, and to go for this guy’s throat when nobody else was around.
But Killer was fascinated. Cross was completely different from any of them, bar Nightmare whose au is a whole different kettle of fish, so he had a certain element of unpredictability to him. Horror and Dust were both based on classic sans just like him, so to a certain degree he knew how they would feel about most things and what they might say, the only differences being in what they had experienced through their own timelines. Cross was based on a swap sans and his au had taken wild twists and turns away from usual events, so Killer had to learn everything about him by poking and prodding for answers or observing from a distance, much like back when it was just him and Nightmare. Cross was something new to be studied and Killer loved taking notes.
Cross did not see this as friendly. He was competing with Killer for approval, not realising Killer was playing their contest like a game. When he saw Cross training he would jump in to spar for fun, but Cross saw his rival trying to get a jump on him and take him out of the running. When Killer would hang around and pester Cross in their off time with questions, it didn’t seem like someone taking interest, it seemed like someone being nosy and looking for weaknesses to exploit. When Horror mentioned that Killer was being surprisingly contained and friendly, Cross really thought he was fucking with him.
The first time Cross was willing to even consider this was the case was when his locket came loose on the field and Killer ran back to find it, since one of the notes he’d taken was how the locket wasn’t something Cross would play about (the same as Horror with food). It didn’t make sense for someone who was seriously competing to have him kicked out to just hand his necklace back, no ransoms or attempts to crush it to upset him, just some vague remark about “owing him one” and then right back to Nightmare for orders.
Cross had to give him something of a chance after that, Horror helped a lot by telling him “he doesn’t want to hurt you, he just doesn’t know how to be normal”. It was mostly a playful jab at Killer, but reframing their interactions changed it significantly for Cross. Now they were sparring playfully and having friendly competition on jobs. He wasn’t as put off when Killer went into stage 3 because he knew he could match him in combat and the others were always on hand to help restrain or distract him. Cross also took note of how Killer calmed down a lot for physical touch, not unlike how Dust had warmed up to Horror. It went a long way into not only making him a little less combative for attention every day, but it seemed to put longer stretches between his episodes (which Cross had also started tracking so they wouldn’t be caught out by them as much).
For his part, Killer has disobeyed instructions in the past to benefit Cross, usually ignoring the task to help him if he’s hurt. He’s also given Nightmare nudges towards praising him because he’s noted that that’s what Cross needs in the same way he needs touch (not that Nightmare doesn’t praise them normally, but when Cross is going through it and needs something). He also doesn’t particularly like chocolate but has made a point of not admitting this to Horror so he can give his chocolate to Cross.
(It’s also worth noting that Cross is the only one, besides Nightmare, that has been to Horror’s au. He offered to help out during the food delivery and got to meet Horror’s Papyrus (who he is a little intimidated by but ultimately friendly with, even though it’s a little weird since he’s a good bit different from his own Papyrus). Dust and Killer can’t really visit for a few reasons, mostly because everyone will notice their lvl immediately and know what they’ve done. Dust especially doesn’t know how he would react to having a Papyrus in front of him again and doesn’t want to put Horror's family at risk to find out. Whenever he visits, his Papyrus asks about Cross now and sometimes tries to make tacos for him (key word tries, he’s still a Papyrus after all). He may have joked that seeing Cross sometimes is “like having another brother but younger and less lazy” and when Horror told him this Cross may or may not have cried.)
And that’s where we are now!
They’re a very strange group who’ve been through some inexplicable events and have all changed each other in one way or another. And whether or not it can be admitted, they are a family c:
Now onto how Nightmare was made emotionally open by each of them!! In this essay I will no just kidding could you imagine this is already like 7 pages long
If you got to the end of this post please drink some water and get yourself a snack
#Ask#Wickjump#UTDR#UTMV#Truce au#Tagging that since this is the events I'm working off for these guys#My fanon canon if you will#Also I am SO sorry oh my god#This is like an essay for a degree I could submit this for peer review akdghjdjfsjl#I didn't mean to say so much I swear this was me trying to keep it concise!!#I think I've genuinely spent like 6 hours writing this between last night and this morning#Which is wild because like whose attention span is this??#Anyway I have a lot of thoughts about these guys (clearly)#I have given them a lot of events that I haven't really drawn or written about yet#There's a couple of things in here that I've referenced before here and there#But I guess this is kind of a masterpost for it all#Man I have to go to work in like an hour this was wild akdguigfgy#WICK THANK YOU!!!! This was really fun to do and it's got me excited to work on my other stuff in the background :D#And when I get back from work I'm gonna think of an ask to get you rambling next >:3c#But for realsies thank you so much this was super sweet and really fun <3
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I'm currently rewatching the dark tower for reasons (fic reasons), and when Gwen said "Morgana's enchanted it to protect me," it rang an alarm bell, this time 'round.
"[...]to protect me."
hm. huh. you don't say. interesting. As in, the knights are the enemy not the rescuers? hm. curious.
Maybe I'm reading too much into it (i mean, hey, that's the fun of it), but that choice of language stood out to me.
#I've got more thoughts on this but i don't really have the time for it rn#(i.e. I'm trying very very hard to focus on this fic im writing and im being so cool about it and not struggling at all lol)#so have this half-baked observation merlin fandom#but feel free to add if u guys got any thoughts 👀#anyway i've never been the biggest fan of the evil gwen arc#do I absolutely love angel coulby's acting throughout it? YES. that was incredible and she deserves all the awards#was the dolma an instant shot of serotonin and i clap like a happy seal when she waltzes onscreen? yes#was the arthur/gwen moment in the cauldron of arianrhod absolutely gorgeous and beautiful? yes#but do i think - narratively - that it took up far too much time in the final season that was better suited elsewhere? yes#i could write essays on where the attention should've been directed...#anyway yes fic writing i've distracted myself enough#bbc merlin#merlin#sir elyan#guinevere pendragon#bbc gwen#bbc elyan#the dark tower#merlin meta#meta#ren rambles#scheduled
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so for those who missed it, geoff talked a bit more about achievement hunter coming to an end on a f**kface break show on september 18th. some of it was stuff we've already learned from the announcement video/thread from AH themselves, but some additional information was mentioned exclusively on the f**kface stream. with rooster teeth being so great (sarcasm) at relaying info to their audience, i had to rely on a fan recording of the stream from twitter to get more context sooner, since the official recording won't be available until the 22nd at the earliest.
i'll put a full transcript of all the clips of the twitter thread under the cut, but if you want a tl;dr:
geoff's known about AH coming to an end for about 6 months (since march 2023), and that the decision to end it wasn't made lightly
he compares AH ending to when he went to quit red vs blue 15 years ago to co-create AH, somewhere between seasons 5-7, and how he continued to work on rvb until he couldn't anymore
also talks about how everyone at the company at the time (like burnie, gus, matt, and jason) were really supportive towards him, and how that led to AH lasting 15 years
he hopes that michael, trevor, alfredo, and joe get the same support he got from the audience when he made AH, and then eventually f**kface. also reassures the audience that all the content on the AH channel will stay as it is
heavily emphasizes that this decision wasn't made by the higher ups at rt or warner brothers, and wanted to nip that in the bud before the rumor went too far. notes that AH didn't fail, it just ended
talks about how there will be a couple more weeks of new achievement hunter content before they close up shop. some of the content includes the members paying an homage to past series and people at AH. it will eventually culminate into a final video that geoff's in where he gets "fucking verbose" about his feelings in relation to everything
gives a shoutout to matt, jeremy, and ray in regards to their streams on twitch, and finally ends his speech by saying that the audience should respect that the past + current AH members are continuing to do the things they love doing while being entertaining, just in their own unique ways
the full transcript:
Geoff: "The Achievement Hunter brand is coming to a close. We have decided to sunset it and to end it. And I've seen a lot of- for a very good reason- and that announcement came in tandem with another announcement, a very exciting announcement about a new brand called Dogbark. And I've seen a lot of excitement, a lot of appreciation from people, a lot of people supporting Michael and those guys [referring to Trevor, Joe, and Alfredo] going off into doing their own thing.
I've seen a lot of fear and uncertainty. I totally get and understand that; you guys are hearing this for the first time. Um, I've known about this for about six months. You know, this has been in some form of discussion or preparation for a while now. This wasn't a decision that was made lightly, uhh... but I think it's the right decision, and I hope that you'll understand and support that, and here's why:
15 years ago, I went to Burnie and Matt and Gus, and I said 'Hey, I'm losing my mind making Red vs Blue.' It was season 5 or 6, and I- I think it was 6 or 7, actually- and I was just so creatively drained and stifled. And I had such a wonderful time making Red vs Blue, but I had made it until I couldn't make it anymore. And I had this idea, and I was very passionate about this idea of this thing I wanted to try. And Burnie and Gus and Matt were so kind and supportive to give me the creative runway to launch and test Achievement Hunter out at a time when everybody- friends- everybody was telling me 'What are you doing, quitting making Red vs Blue? It's a huge hit! You're like, the #2 guy on it. You're a big part of this! Why would you leave that to do this unproven, untested thing?' And I had to! I had to follow my dream, I had to follow my passion. And like I said, Burnie and Matt and Gus and everybody else, Jason, everybody involved in Rooster Teeth at the time, were so fucking supportive and so wonderful to me in that period that 15 years later, we've had 15 years of Achievement Hunter.
We wouldn't be here on this set right now in front of all this Zimmer stuff, in front of fucking dumb pictures of Gavin and Garbage Pail Kids and Barbie and- fucking new Dallas poster, by the way. Uh, all of this has existed because they allowed me to take a chance and supported me taking that chance. And uh- I would be some kind of fucking hypocrite if I didn't provide the same level of support and genuine enthusiasm to Michael and Alfredo and Joe and Trevor as they embark on the same journey I went on 15 years ago! And this is a very- I don't want to speak for them. They didn't make this decision lightly, I guarantee you, and they will explain it in their own voice over the next few weeks as we say goodbye to Achievement Hunter and say hello to Dogbark. [actual dog barks in the background] We worked on that ahead of time.
Uhh... and so I would only ask that you give them the same level of support that the audience gave me when I tried out Achievement Hunter, this untested, unproven thing, and the same level of support you all gave us when we decided that we're going to make F**kface, an audio-only podcast recorded remotely, which is something that I never in a million years wanted to do or thought was a good idea until we did it, and found out it was simply too good, found out that it worked and it ended up becoming, I think, hopefully the best thing I've participated in. I really ju- I really just want to drive that point home. Joe and Trevor and Michael and Alfredo have spent years and years and years making content that they believe in to support and entertain you. And that's all they want to do with this new production.
Everything comes to an end. It's okay for things to end. I know it's scary and it's sad, but that doesn't mean it didn't happen, and that doesn't mean it's going away. We have 15 years of Achievement Hunter content online that you can still watch and enjoy. Hundreds of thousands of hours of content, hundreds upon hundreds of episodes of Minecraft and GTA that are still there for you to go and watch. I mean, hell, I think Emily and I are a great example of that. We've been watching a show that came out in 1978 called Dallas. It ran from 1978 to 1992, and that was 40 fucking years ago. And yet here we are enjoying it, just as if it came out yesterday. Justice for Sue Ellen, I think we can all agree, justice for Sue Ellen. So I would just say that I hope that you'll be excited about this new journey in their careers and this new opportunity for Rooster Teeth. It's sad to say goodbye to a thing, but it's not disappearing. It's still there. You can still go watch all those videos. You can still go enjoy- enjoy all that content, but you can also support them in what they're doing.
And one other little inaccuracy, or not even inaccuracy, but one thing I want to touch on- and then I'll get to breaking cards and being an idiot- is a thing that kind of bugs me, is that- I'm sure you've heard this phrase or some variation of this phrase before where it's uh, said that a lie can travel halfway across the world, while the truth is still putting its pants on, and-"
Emily: "That's kinda deep! I've never heard that before." Geoff: "You've never heard that before?" Emily: "No!"
Geoff: "Yeah, and I've seen a lot of supposition and people saying things that just aren't true. And I want to stop that right now before they travel halfway across the world. Because there is no truth to the idea that like- anytime we make a change that's controversial or a bit scary or different or new or unexpected, there's this idea that there's uh, some dude in a suit from Warner Brothers or Rooster Teeth standing just off-camera, sternly going, 'Make this decision. Follow this algorithm. We're chasing a demographic.' None of that is true. Rooster Teeth would be very happy if they continued making Achievement Hunter forever, but they weren't happy making Achievement Hunter, and they wanted to try a new thing.
They wanted to do what I did 15 years ago! They wanted to do what Ray did when he left Achievement Hunter, right? They wanted to bet on themselves and make their production. I love the work they put into- to mine, and I did my best to make it ours. But at the end of the day, I left Achievement Hunter five years ago! Uh, it would be really foolhardy and stupid and- and dickhead-ish of me to have a problem with them doing the same thing, uh, but it's also them. This is a decision that they made, that they wanted to make. It didn't come from anybody at Rooster Teeth or Warner Brothers. There was no, I don't know, this marketing department you always hear about that's telling them to make these decisions and- 'Chase the Gen Z crowd and come up- This is the name we've workshopped.' None of that's true! They came up with the name. They came up with the logo, they came up with the design, the color palette, the trailer, the content that's going to be released in a couple of weeks, that's all them! That's what they wanna do.
That is them following the same passion that I followed 15 years ago and the same passion that I followed when I created Let's Play, and the same passion that I that I followed when I created F**kface. And hopefully the same passion, the same passion that I created this with, and hopefully the same passion that I'll create the next and the next and the next thing with, and hopefully the same passion that they get to do, uh, as they continue their career. So all I'm asking for is give the new thing a chance, support it. It's a brave thing to do to walk out of the safety of Achievement Hunter into a new thing.
And also, uh, I've seen a lot of doomers that are saying like 'Ah, I called it ten years ago! I knew it was gonna fail!' It didn't fail. It ended. It was 15 fucking awesome years. And I'm going to stop talking now because I'm just going to get rambly. But I will say: There's a couple of weeks left of Achievement Hunter content coming out where they pay homage, if you will, to a lot of the videos and the shows from the past,, and the people from the past, and they have a lot of sweet things that they're going to do. And it'll culminate at the end with one last video that I am in where I get fucking verbose about my feelings about all of it. So if you want to hear more about my feelings of the 15 years of Achievement Hunter, I ask that you tune in to that last Achievement Hunter video. But I also ask that you tune into every video between now and then, because they're going to be saying goodbye to Achievement Hunter with a lot of love and respect and humor. And uh, I think that's what it deserves. And I hope that we all get to share in that together, and then, and then subscribe to Dogbark and give it a shot. [dog barks again] Thank you.
And uh, remember that all of these people that you've loved that have come and gone are still making content right now. Jack and BK, I think Jack's on vacation, but Jack and BK are over there in Inside Gaming, making content, playing video games 3, 4 hours a day, 3 or 4 days a week, playing Minecraft, playing all those old games that you loved to see us play. And Michael is making Face Jam every week. And Michael and Trevor and Alfredo and Joe are going to be making Dogbark every fucking day. And Gavin and I, we're making F**kface every day. And I'm making ANMA and I'm making So... Alright, and Ky has helped producing it all uh, behind the scenes.
Matt and Jeremy and Ray, they're streaming every fucking day of their lives, I believe. I think Jeremy's on, like, 18 days in a row right now, or something? [referring to Jeremy's uncapped subathon]. So all the people that you loved to support and who uh, entertained you throughout the years, they're still doing the thing that they love. They're just doing it in the way that they wanna do it, in the way that makes sense to them. And I just hope that you will be... respectful of that, and give them an opportunity to entertain you uh, in much the same way they entertained you last year and the year before and 5 years ago and 10 years ago. They just want to get up every day and make the best content they can make, and they're not- they're not making these decisions for any other reason than this is where their creative interests are leading them. And much like you gave me a chance 15 years ago, let's all give them a chance today. [dog barks again] That's it. I'm done. Let's open up some fucking cards."
#geoff ramsey#achievement hunter#dogbark#rooster teeth#f**kface podcast#that should be all the important tags i think#may have missed a few words here and there but hopefully not anything that removes context :)#holy shit i forgot how much geoff can ramble on and on#i lost track on how many times he says 'and'#like. i had to use a thing that makes automatic subtitles from a video before i started editing them manually#because this guy talks like his life depends on it#that's the sole reason the readmore exists. like i wrote a goddamn essay lol#anyways yeah. make of all of this as you will. i'm just the messenger :P
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what is your favorite thing about charles and your favorite thing about erik? separately, as in what you like most about their characters :]
a devious question this one is, my friend!!! it's hard enough for me to explain my thoughts cohesively, but having to pick ONE thing i particularly love is difficult. with characters like charles and erik, theres been so much done with their characters over the decades and so they have so many components to them that make them so interesting and fun to observe. BUT I TRY FOR YOU TODAY. under the cut i kinda ramble and the size of this text box makin me anxious
i think if i were to be simple and broad, what i enjoy most about charles is his determination to help others, even if he isn't really thanked and/or if people don't even like him. ofc, this isn't to say he hasn't done wrong- to be honest, the fact he does wrong/questionable things at times is another aspect of him i really enjoy, maybe because- broadly speaking- he's meant to be altruistic (intent vs outcome and all that). i don't know if that's super exciting to most people, but it is for me
as for erik, my reason for liking him is easier to explain tbh. To Be Simple And Broad, his progression from villain to antihero over the decades has been fun to observe (as much as i have so far anyhow) and analyze. i think to be a bit more specific, him using his rage and pain as justifications for his villainous actions is definitely what compels me the most: hurt people hurt and the sort, an idea i've always found interesting (something something vicious cycles and the like). yet now, he recognizes this wasn't really. A Just Thing To Do and is beginning to change that, which i enjoy
#snap chats#may you forgive me anon i always feel awkward explaining things AVELKJEAKLJ#i feel esp awkward cause i haven't read toooo much of the comics yet- like ive read. an ok amount so far krakoa wise#can you guys tell im fighting god himself to Not write a fuckin. NOVEL#im so sorry i have an over-explaining problem my mom was mean to me growing up but anyways#i definitely want to read more and more outside krakoa. the more i read the more im fascinated by these two and their history#but to continue my prattling. as if the three paragraphs above arent enough This Is Not A Thesis RELAX#i think a. 'poignant' moment i think adds to what i like about charles too is that soliloquy where he recognizes people dont like him#yet he could always be worse- like if he's bad now to others imagine if he really just said Fuck It All#it's simple but so am i whaddyagonnadoboutit. i mean that point itself could be discussed but i'm trying to keep this brief bear with me#i so bad want to know what issue that's from tho all i know is that it's from krakoa but i neeeed the whole context#i think like. an additional bullet point to charles i also like is his loneliness#and i say this cause- I Say From My Amateur-Psychology Armchair- it's a component of why he's so earnest to help#but im keeping this point in the tags until i can confidently verify that with myself after some more reading#Unfortunately a favorite pass time of mine is psychoanalyzing characters like why else you think i major in psychology smh#im going to force myself to cap the post here because i ended up typing like 20 more tags just rambling#and as i said id like to keep this simple and clean !!!!! i have sat here for like four hours answering this ngl#ignore the fact half that time was spent getting distracted by solitaire and riffling cards ok I Am Very Easily Distracted#but fr when it comes to charles and erik- charles esp imo#i feel like i need to write a whole paper just so i can mention the nuances of the characters and like. EVERYTHING#because again six decades is A Lot of time for writing decisions to be made and for their characters to change over time#im a glazer but i wanna be a nuanced glazer yk. is that glazing at that point-- w/e anyway#its a lot. so today you will have to tolerate a very Blah answer from me which i must apologize for#down the line once ive read a comfortable amount more varying from multiple eras maybe ill revisit this question more in depth#as of right now tho .... chat i wanna get legion of x so bad i skimmed it and hhhhhhhhim gonna throw UP#i need to shake charles like a ragdoll BUT ANYWAY. bye bye for now lovelies !!!!!!!#please forgive me if i didnt answer your question efficiently ..#here i am saying i wanted to keep the tag count brief and yet !!! jesus christ. shut up My God I REACHED THE TAG LIMIT
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