#anyway... i'm still not sure what to think of it but here we go

[whumpster-fire]

Oh boy okay I think my smallest / least known fave is Ambersun (formerly known as Albion, changed because of how many other bands have the same name), and I am begging everyone to listen to this band because seriously it is so good.

Summary: it's a power metal band which I think may be basically a one man show plus various guest vocalists I'm not sure, which does story-based concept albums based on different works of fiction. Possibly qualifies as Rock Operas? Anyway I love "fandom music" and this is one of my all time favorites even though two of the albums are for "I don't even go here" fandoms and the other is for a book I found through the music, because the sound is awesome, the lyrics are awesome, and you can just hear the passion put into them.

I'm now going to post a bunch of lyrics under the cut please please please listen to these songs. Actually just listen to the albums in order, this is one of those bands where the songs are already good as standalones but you really need to listen to the full album to get the full experience.

We are lost, in an endless night, the sun drained from our eyes

Gone, when we sold our lives to the plague that stole the sky

"Life Before Death," from The Poison Skies

Erased and they don't care, but you would still be here if only you'd stayed, been mine only mine

It's so unfair to leave me, the tribe I formed deceived me, but now I'll fight in your name

There's no way to hide from their stare,

I still feel their eyes everywhere

And the hatred that clouds all their minds, it hides the truth of it all

"Out In the Wilds" from The Poison Skies

The one to keep the noble name, to carry all their hopes and dreams, a future severed when one night became forever

"Run" from The Poison Skies. This. Freaking. Song. Has changed me. "Run" is a banger on its own, but reading The Afflicted and reaching the scene this song is about made it so much better and also slightly painful. Which can be said about the entirety of The Poison Skies but this song especially, because the entire song is a character high on adrenaline, deluding himself into believing he can actually pull off the promise he made to his friends that he was going to survive the badass self-sacrificing stunt he was pulling. Also I have no idea how I have not gotten a speeding ticket while playing this in the car yet.

Visions that I can't erase, every time I see her face,

She reminds me of how I never tried

Now I watch us as we fall, can't help anyone at all,

Why did I alone survive?

Survivor's Guilt!

"Survivor's Guilt" from The Poison Skies

This worthless weapon symbolizes who I am

Remaining silent, offer no resistance,

And I become the iron mask

"Disappear" from The Poison Skies

Survive one last dance through the wind and the cold,

We can't change our stories, but they still can be told

"Snow" from The Poison Skies

Sealed in cryogenic cold, I'll dive into the dark, reanimate your soul

Together we will rise up hand in hand this blackened night

"Morning" from The Day the Night Slept

I'll burn in the night, I'll light up the sky, you'll see,

And I'll be the Scorpion's Fire!

"The Scorpion's Fire" from The Day the Night Slept

Lost in the night, but still he survives

I'll tear apart time so his heart never dies

"Asriel Must Be Saved" from Buried Souls. Yes this is exactly what it sounds like from the title. A 15 minute musical fix fic about finding a way of saving Asriel Dreemur from Undertale with some sort of timeline fuckery I don't understand because I haven't played the game. And it's glorious.

Mighty wheels will turn again, flames of faith ignite

Chase the legend of the sun, and bathe our world in light

"Bring Back the Sun," currently a single release.

enough about taylor swift already. reblog and tag the smallest, least known artist you listen to

[whousestypewriters]

──── ୨ৎ THE BOOK CLUB — GRAYSON HAWTHORNE + READER ‧₊˚

a/n: pt two here we are!!! do i have any idea where this plot is going??? no. but you're along for the ride bitches so enjoy!! also if this is shit its bc im sleep deprived :)

[part one] i'm a fan

"it all happened so fast. everyone was happy... and then something happened... and now... now he's dead!" alya sobs from her spot on the couch.

"did you just spoil the book we're all reading together??" kira shrieks from her position on the mattress.

"i think the bitch actually just spoiled the entire book," pheobe rolls her eyes from underneath her blanket on the mattress next to kira's.

"oh come on you knew something like this was gonna happen!"

"yeah but i wasn't expecting it to be screamed aloud while i'm halfway through," kira says exasperated. "i mean please its not even five thirty yet, we got here an hour ago, how are you already finished?"

"alya, this is why we don't come over anymore," pheobe groans. "none of us were expecting that and now you've spoiled it."

"oh cry about it, i'm moving onto my next book anyway, does anyone want some snacks while i'm in the kitchen?" alya smiles nodding her head when kira requests some food and a bottle of water.

"so we're clearly never having a book club sleepover again guys," you say looking at the camera.

"no we're gonna have another," pheobe says shuffling over into the frame. "alya's just not invited."

────

yn.books

liked by alya.green, maxine.liu.loo, pheobethereader, kirasbooknook, graysonhawthorne and 672, 983 others

yn.books the book girlies unite!! for a sleepover a trip and a readathon (alya will not be invited back) stay tuned for the yt video!

tagged: alya.green, pheobethereader, kirasbooknook

view all comments

alya.green I AM OFFENDED

kirasbooknook good

pheobethereader had a lovely time with you girls can't wait to do it again (except for you alya)

alya.green u guys are so mean wtf

user1 im desperate to know why alya's in trouble lmaooo

user2 and im desperate to know why grayson is still in the likes

user3 THE GIRLIES ARE IN TEXAS I SAW THEN TODAY AND ASKED FOR A PHOTO!!!!

user4 they're in texas you say 😏😏

user5 divine rivals crushed me oh my goshhhh

graysonhawthorne divine rivals was a enticing read, thank you for the recommendation.

user6 ok so i died-

user7 OH OH OK SO WTF WHO WAS GONNA TELL ME GRAYSON IS HERE???

maxine.liu.loo the book girlies are together again!!! (invite me next time)

yn.books already done ;)

────

"they're mine," max's voice snips through the quiet of the room. she's staring directly at grayson and clearly referring to the book girls she watches.

"i'm not trying to steal anyone," grayson tries to reassure her.

"you're obsessed with my favorite one! why couldn't you have gone for pheobe or kira?" max huffs, you were her favorite. grayson had no right to become - rightfully - infatuated with you, and no matter how much he tries to deny it everyone can see he likes you. its painfully obvious.

"again i'm not stealing anyone, i've interacted like three times with-"

"grayson! the girl you're obsessed with posted another youtube video," jameson's extremely loud voice cuts through the room and emits a groan from grayson.

"i'm not obsessed with anyone," he says rising from his spot on the couch and picking up ruthless vows, which by the way he definitely went out and bought after he read divine rivals. what? he wanted to know what happened.

"oh my gosh they're in texas!!!" max screeches clearly watching the video. "they're in texas for a red carpet that they've been invited to!" she pauses watching for more conext. "they been invited to ask the people on the red carpet about books! oh my god- XANDER. we have to go to this event oh my gosh please?"

"sure and you can bring grayson along so he can officially join the book club, and meet his new idol," jameson smirks from the doorway

grayson responds by flipping him off.

────

graysonhawthorne

liked by thehawthorneheiress, ticking.time.bomb, yn.books, kirasbooknook and 4, 892, 647 others

graysonhawthorne a nice day out

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user1 i need him religiously

user2 NO BOOK THIS TIME???

user3 oh he is scrumptious isn't he

ticking.time.bomb i saw you obsessing over what photos to choose in case a certain someone saw this gray.....

user4 PLS TELL ME ITS WHO I THINK IT IS

thexanderhawthorne oh it is...

user4 OH MY GODDDD

user5 IN THE LIKES LOOK WHOS IN THE LIKES!!!!!!

user6 they're so into each other

alya.green we gotta catch up and talk about this whole situation buddy boy

user7 ALYA 😭💀

user8 i need him to go to the red carpet so they can meet!!!

────

maybe grayson should go to that red carpet... i mean he was invited. whats the worst that could happen?

𐔌 . ⋮ 🏷️ tags .ᐟ ֹ ₊ ꒱

@arqbella, @midiosaamor, @maybxlle @reminiscentreader, @sweetreveriee

@elysianwayy77 @tornqdowarnings, @catapparently, @zenikswaffleshop, @thelov3lybookworm

[livelaughloveluffy]

Hi! I really enjoy your works!

Is there any way I could request a modern Ace x platonic younger sister? I guess modern or not doesn't matter too much. But basically his usually sweet, anxious younger sister hasn't been doing great with depression/anxiety, and he's noticed a little bit, silently keeping an eye on it, but doesn't think it's TOO too serious. But he's wrong because late one night he finds her hitting rock bottom. What that looks like is up to you. He gets scared, but wordlessly just kind of hugs her, holds her tight, she automatically clings to him and apolologizes, and he lets her know how much he and Sabo and Luffy and Dadan love her.

Self projecting the need for a comforting older brother figure like Ace.

Please don't write this one if you don't feel comfortable or don't want to! Have a good day 🩷

we need you here - portgas d. ace

a/n: i'm so glad you enjoy my writing!! thank you so much for your request!! i absolutely adore ace as a big brother, hopefully this is sort of what you had in mind!!

a/n: i was listening to my yearning playlist to write this and literally a more perfect song to go with this fic started playing and now i have to share it with you guys too because it works way too well. here's the song

tw - depression/mentions of self-harm

there's some hurt and some comfort here...

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some days we're better than others.. but most of the time you could barely keep your head above water. the constant onslaught battle of depression is pretty crippling, and it takes everything in you to just get through the day. not that most would be able to notice.

it's not like you were born depressed, how you long for the days were the world felt lighter, when the breeze blowing through the leaves of a tree was a wonder to revel in, rather than being so caught up in your own head, you can barely hold a conversation. while this change had come to your realization like a freight train, your brothers hadn't really picked up on it.

it's not because they didn't love you, you know they did, it's just that they were busy training to leave goa kingdom and conquer the sea. so to them, over the years you had just gotten more reserved. sure you didn't smile as much as you used to, or the way you used to, but it was hard for them to tell considering that they weren't even home for dinner half the time anyways.

•♡•

ace hadn't really noticed how bad it was until dadan had approached him one day before he, sabo, and luffy were going to their hideout, resting her hand on his shoulder, leaning down to softly whisper in his ear "can you ask your sister if she wants to join you guys? i'm a bit worried about her.. she hasn't come out of her room for a couple of days... she could use some sunlight.."

the freckled boy turned to dadan with his typical wide smile "yeah! i'll go ask her!"

•♡•

the voices were getting bad again. they were so loud, constantly taunting and jeering, laughing at your existence, reminding you of all you failures, faults, ugly personality traits, everything you hate about your body. it was suffocating. tears began to well up in your eyes. your skin started to itch for pain.

then a quite knock sounds against your door, then you hear ace's voice, warm and gently asking "we're going to head to our hideout, wanna going us angel?"

you muster all your strength to reply above a whisper "maybe another day, ace. i'm pretty tired."

and with that, you can barely hear the sound of his footsteps retreating before the voices are back, stronger than before.

•♡•

you had no idea how long you had been crying now. your eyes were swollen and sore from all your tears, fingernails bloody from constantly digging and itching at your skin, scratching it raw in various spots on your arms.

the voices in your head felt as if they were never-ending. the brief flashes of pain eased them... for minutes maybe, but they would still come back. they always came back.

•♡•

ace had just walked into the front door to dadan's eyes on him. "where is she?"

it took him a minute to realize that dadan was asking about you, "oh, she said she was tired and she didn't want to go today." and as he watched dadan's face sink, instantly filled with dread and worry, he knew he had to do something to ease her worries. "did she come out for dinner yet?" dadan lowered her head, softly shaking it side to side. "i'll go eat dinner with her in her room, okay?"

dadan could only muster a soft sigh before slowly nodding. ace had a way of making everything better somehow, she just had to trust that he would know what to do.

•♡•

you couldn't stop the tears from flowing in the same way that you couldn't stop the voices you heard. and the utter frustration at your own helplessness just made you even more upset, driving you to sob even more. breathing was now a struggle, as the tears also took all the air from your lungs with them. your hands were buried into your hair, gripping it tightly, as if ripping it out would give you some sort of silence.

you didn't hear ace's knock this time. didn't hear his soft voice call your nickname "angel? can i come in?". didn't hear his footsteps as he crossed the space of your room at record speed. you didn't even notice his presence until his arms were wrapped tightly around your body. dinner plates for the two of you, forgotten on the floor in front of your opened door. you didn't even hear them shatter.

even with his strong warm arms around your body, you couldn't will yourself to stop crying. in fact, it almost made the sobs worse. your face was sticky with sweat, snot, and tears. hair sticking to your face. ace didn't seem to mind though. he pulled your face close into his bare chest, it is only then that you hear his voice whispering in your ear "i'm so sorry. i'm sorry i didn't notice. i'm sorry i haven't been home. i'm here now, angel. i'm not going anywhere without you. we need you here, angel."

the desperation in his voice finally allowed you to move your body, wrapping your arms tightly around his waist. the tears still flowed, but they had slowed just a little, enough for you to choke out "ace.. i don't... i don't know what's wrong with me.. i don't want to be like this.. i hate this.."

his soft voice and the sound of his heartbeat filled your ears "i'm here for you, always. i'm not going anywhere. i love you no matter what, and we'll get through this together. i love you so much."

your eyes were heavy now that the crying had finally stopped, and you no longer had the energy to keep them open. the only thing you could hear as the sleep finally came to claim you was ace's voice in your ear, a constant stream of whispers of "i love you, i love you, i love you so much." on repeat.

---------------------------------------------------------------------

tags ♡: @3v37773 @irethepotato @dreamcastgirl99; want to join the taglist? click here!!

a/n: i lowkey had to hold back some tears writing this one 😭😭😭

a/n: enjoyed this fic? here's my masterlist!!

[wholelottaprompts]

ᡣ𐭩 Emails I Can't Send Prompts ᡣ𐭩

from the album Emails I Can't Send, by Sabrina Carpenter

"And I still make excuses for you constantly."

"Sorry that I pulled the 'it's not you, it's me.'"

"You're not my friend, and baby, you never were."

"It's times like these I wish I had a time machine."

"Whatever, you're a waste of time."

"I can't myself when you get close to me."

“Oh, so you do have a type."

"Where else can we go?"

"I hate the way you left me dry."

"Give me a second to forget I ever really meant it."

"Don't say sorry now."

"One day, I'll make sure you get a real apology."

"I tried to look for the best in the worst."

"Oh, so you can reply."

"I'm so tired."

"You want me? I'm done."

"I wonder how many things you think about before you get to me."

"You're lucky I'm a private person."

"I'm over that son of a bitch."

"Don't make me cuss you out."

"You're so vicious."

"Nobody gets my jokes, everyone here thinks I'm fucking rude."

"Why were you somewhere else when you were next to me?"

"I can't help it, it's a habit."

"You act like a bitch."

"I never saw him and we never kissed."

"There's nothing left here to decode."

"Were you lying to me and the family?"

"If you wanted brown eyes, I could have got contacts."

"You don't feel remorse."

"That never made too much sense to me."

"I can't read your mind."

"Why'd you let me down?"

"You knew I would see that."

"Looking at you got me thinking nonsense."

"Bet you wanna love me now."

"How do you do this to me?"

"Tell me what's gonna happen."

"You knew I would notice."

"I'll drive you home."

"I don't even know, I'm talking nonsense."

"I want you there sometimes."

"She looks nothing like me."

"Your signals are mixed."

"Everything reminds me of you."

"I know you know it keeps me up."

"You drive me crazy."

"Chase me."

"Did you even give a fuck?"

"You disgust me."

"Now I'm a homewrecker. I'm a slut."

"Tell me I was more than just a decent opportunity."

"Why do you look so happy?"

"I'm so sorry for your loss."

"Thanks to you, I can't love right."

"I know now even if I tried to change that somehow, you'd end up with her anyway."

"You fit every stereotype."

"Does she step out of the spotlight so you bathe in it?"

"Now I can't even look at you."

"You said I'm too late to be your first love, but I'll always be your favorite."

"I know what you're about to say."

"Does she get up on top of you more than I would?"

"He had it coming."

"I deserve my own consideration."

"I look up from my phone and think there's no chance it's you, but it is."

"He's good for my heart, but he's bad for business."

"I've got death threats filling up semi trucks."

"How am I supposed to close the door when I still need the closure?"

"All my friends think I've gone crazy."

"I care, but I don't."

"Please fucking fix this."

"Tell me that you miss me in your life."

"It feels so good not caring where you are tonight."

"You were all I looked up to."

"Was I being lied to?"

"I got ways to find you anywhere."

"You miss me? No duh."

"Maybe we should do this on purpose sometime."

"It was all so innocent."

"What the fuck is patience?"

"I can't even stomach loving someone else."

"God, I love you, but you're such a dipshit."

"You're good at impersonating someone who cares."

"I bet your house is where my other sock is."

[igglemouse]

Monday feels like the perfect day to make pancakes, banana pancakes, to be more specific! Then again, isn't every day perfect for pancakes? There's something about them, maybe it's the scent of them that fills the kitchen with a warmth only associated with morning, maybe its how soft they are and how, coupled with syrup, they just melt and fit perfectly on your tongue and aaaahhh...This new house with its spacious kitchen has brought a spark back into my cooking!

As usual, Pascal makes it over to the table for breakfast, a tradition at this point, but today there is something different. It's his clothing, he's all dressed up, buttoned up, crisp pants, no sweat. Did he miss his morning workout? Is he sick? Injured? I won't press, maybe he's finally realized he pushes himself too hard, no, I have something else on my mind.

"I was thinking about our last convo," I start hesitantly, ignoring the temptation of my pancakes for a moment. "It might be a sooner rather than later kind of thing." I'm surprised to say it because the thought of having another baby feels overwhelming. I mean, my Watcher, it's a lot to go though. Does it get better the second time? Am I really ready to submit my body through that again?

"Oh, Frida," he says just before taking another bite of his pancake. "I see that look in your eyes," he teases.

"What?!"

"That look!" he teases again, a grin growing on his face. "All you have to do is ask!" Oh, that's what he means. I can feel the heat rising in my cheeks already.

"Pascal, I'm serious!" I shoot back because I am! This is a serious subject! "I just mean...if Flora is to have a little brother or sister, shouldn't they be close in age?" That's better for them, right? Allows them to bond a little better, I would think but I think by now Pascal is thinking more about the practice of making babies than the end result of it.

"Mmmhmm, they should..." See?

"Look! Ugh, nevermind!" I huff, giving up and waving away the now corrupted conversation we were having. "Do you even like your pancakes? You've barely touched them," I add, trying my best to steer it away from him and his morning wood.

"Oh, yeah," ugh, that grin is back on his face, I can't help but giggle. "No condoms moving forward then, right?"

"Pascal!" I blurt out with my fork clanking against the plate.

Alright alright, I wouldn't admit it at the table but I'll admit it to you now. I'd like another. Maybe just one more! My little Flora can't be an only child, she seems to enjoy attention a little too much but isn't that just all babies? They need so much love! Still, two feels right.

But for now, the rain is going to keep me inside which gives me a perfect chance at just sitting down and working on my socials. This is what I do now. Promote my social media, push my videos, and just try to grow my audience little by little. My first video does alright, nothing amazing or viral but a solid debut. It gives me enough hope to continue and to maybe think that there might be a future here for me with this. At least I won't have to worry about some old man trying to ruin my business.

And yes, I do spend some time working out because, I can't help but worry about my weight. I know I shouldn't, it's completely normal to add weight after creating a complete human being, but the thoughts creep into my head anyway. I just worry about Pascal out there playing a road game in some faraway city and at some night club before a pair of boobs gets put into his face and...yeah, let's end that thought right there. I want to look my best, not just for him, but for me too!

But maybe I've pushed myself too hard today because now I've broken out in a rash! Red little splotches all over my arms and legs and just everywhere! Not a good look. I don't imagine this is attractive but thankfully there's medicine for it.

By the way, I called Anthony. Or at least I tried. I'm not sure why but I felt like he should at least know. He'll never meet her, that I'm sure of, but I don't know, I feel like my grandparents, my mama, you know, people I've never known, would tell me that I should. It's fair for him to know. Just to know. It feels like if I don't tell him it'll be something I'll feel slightly guilty about for the rest of my life. If what Candela said is true, he saved my life, whether he meant to or not, so he should know that I'm doing well.

But the joke was on me, he wasn't available. A guard or someone, don't know, answers instead and asked if I wanted to pass along a message and in that moment I froze. I told him never mind and he told me times in which Anthony had phone privileges if I wanted to call back. I don't think I will now. The moment has passed. Maybe its just fate that he'll know.

Back to happier things, like making dinner for my new familia or at least trying to. Pascal made it a little harder because he walks right into my kitchen in nothing but his swim trunks which is incredibly distracting. I pause mid chop just to stare, wondering what he was up to and then figuring this is probably the continuation of our conversation from this morning. He's trying to tempt me! I can't help but chuckle because its both cute and endearing.

"Mi querido, what are you wearing?" I challenge, rising an eyebrow as he turns to face me which only makes it worse because I've always been a fan of his body and suddenly I'm reminded why I did fall for him. His goofy charm and his smile!

"My swimwear!" he announces with pride. "We do have a little pool and I wanted to check it out!"

"Must you walk around in it?"

"I think you should walk around in yours a little more!" He fires back with the cheesiest wink I've ever seen in my life, it brings a reluctant smile to my own face.

"I-I don't know! I'm still a little hefty, I might not even fit my old stuff. Maybe a one piece or something like-"

"I'd love you all in one piece!"

Ah well...well, we will eat dinner first and maybe we'll see about that later.

But unfortunately, after our dinner, little Flora had her own demands which naturally comes before my own desires. So, instead of spending some intimate time with Pascal I was called to feed her and change her diaper and just play with her and let her know that she is loved! Just the things a mama must do!

But while Frida was attending to the needs of little Florencia, Pascal was attending to his. Every day his Social Bunny account would light up with interest, messages from a variety of different women, all thirsty for his attention. They knew he wasn't single and knew he was a father, but for some, that made him all the more enticing.

Usually, Pascal ignored them, thinking of them more as annoyances and distractions, but one in particular stood out to him. Sofia Prats, a model and aspiring actress located in Del Sol Valley. She was a striking beauty with dark hair that seemed to contrast perfectly with pearlescent skin and a full smile that sat perfectly before observant eyes. She carried herself with a bold kind of confidence, a woman who was used to getting her way. She had sent him a few messages, wondering if they could meet. Pascal didn't answer, not yet at least, but he did spend some time scrolling through her Simstagram feed and enjoying her pictures...

Frida Varela - Next Episode 9.3

[docholligay]

I’m still fascinated that I now feel less equipped to explain what Digimon is than I did before seeing the film

One of the best and most difficult books I've ever read is House of Leaves. House of Leaves, fairly uniquely among horror books, and I say this as someone who reads a lot of horror books, really replicates the feeling of going crazy. Of not being able to trust yourself, of not being able to trust the narrative in front of you, of a screaming doubt in the back of your mind. I actually took a year to read it--I found it so emotionally taxing to read that I had to take frequent breaks.

I wouldn't have guessed that there was something called, "All the disorientation of House of Leaves, but for children, and also bad" but there was the Digimon movie for me!

I sat and watched 90 minutes of digimon content and I feel less qualified than ever to even tell you what is a digimon. They live in the computer unless they don't, they can transform into different power levels but they can go back at the snap of a finger so I'm not sure why they don't immediately transform into SuperMegaUltimate form as soon as a conflict occurs, but there we are.

The bad digimon can also control nuclear weapons, it seems like, if they hack into it? Which was used once and then forgotten about, but seems reasonably relevant to me. Also everyone seems to know Digimon exist while living in what is more or less our world, and so I wonder, why has no one pushed for military operations, at the very least, to be completely analog? I mean, I am dumb as dogshit and not making a franchise, and my first thought with Tracer's CA was that it had to be electronic in the way a clock radio is for safety reasons. I know I'm asking a lot of kids' movie here, to think about literally any detail, but in fairness, they brought it up! It's not like NastyDevilMon got into, I don't know, the school database and ruined the big carnival, so I'm extrapolating of that, no, I need you to know, THE DIGIMON CONTROLLED THE NUCLEAR WARHEADS AND TRIED TO BLOW UP JAPAN.

But by the second act of the movie, we had sort of just, forgotten about that, and instead had a major fight in a national forest that destroyed something that looks like it might be Royal Gorge or one of the other uppers canyons of the Colorado river, because we are in Colorado for the second part, on a road trip.

None of which prepared me for when the digimon transformed into humanoid angels, notably called, Angelman and Angelwoman, boy I wish I was not making this up and was taking a humorous dig at this movie, I don't need to, it digs at itself.

Weirdly, for all of this, it was also boring! It was like wandering an endless mirror maze, which seems disorienting and almost funny but by minute 60 all you can think of is, "When is this thing going to fucking end?" For 90 minutes of run time, maybe 45 minutes of things occur. That's a high level of generosity on my behalf.

The only saving grace of the movie was that it used late 90s American music in the dub, and I have decided no dub is ever allowed to be made now without inserting contemporary American music of the time period, so that when we watch it later everyone can go, 'Oh my god!"

Anyway, Pokemon is not for me and I ahve no fondness for it, but at the very least, I could explain to you what the basic principles of it are and why I assume people like it. No such luck here!

[gunsatthaphan]

bestie what are we thinking about episode 1 I'm still speechless.

I don't wanna say too much because so much happened but at the same time you can tell the actual story hasn't started so I feel like the current vibe will not be representative for the rest of the show lol.

But so far my favorite thing is the characters because even though there's already a bunch of ppl saying the acting is mid and Dunk is dragging everyone down or whatever, I have nothing to complain about. I feel like I got to know the 4 of them in this episode and the performances were convincing to me. Like yes, FK are leading the acting game and Dunk comes in last but he has improved compared to previous roles and from what I can tell, he is giving Style the necessary characteristics. He is a campy character and I saw a lot of people saying he matches the novel. So I'm not mad. not yet anyway. Joong as Fadel is crazy if you ask me, his screen presence is insane here. 10/10 would avoid him in the streets lmao. Bison is an interesting little guy lol I can tell he's a complex character which I love and Kant is just I mean 🧎🏼‍♀️🧎🏼‍♀️🧎🏼‍♀️ I really get Khao bc I, too, am absolutely obsessed with him lol. Maybe it's my Fir bias, maybe it's the Yok vibes I don't know but I'm on my knees. I can see what people were pointing out about his personality being very tied to Bison in the novel but so far it doesn't bother me at all. First brings him to life and gives him charisma and I'm buying every bit of his performance.

The story is very much unserious but we all knew that going in so I surely won't waste my time analyzing anything too closely lol. The crime plot is definitely not fleshed out and I'm sensing some NLMG vibes in the storytelling but as long as we don't take it seriously, it's all good. It is a comedy without trying to be one, which is a good sign. I didn't expect KantBison to jump right into the heat but seeing how their and FadelStyle's relationships will develop into opposite directions, I think it all made sense. They put a good 80% of the trailer into the episode which I was kind of expecting as they did the same with OF but like I said, the core story hasn't really started so let's see how it goes. They overdid it a bit with the music sadly, not every scene needs a rock song blasting in the background lol. I did like the song choices but it was a bit distracting at times, especially when there's an obvious transition within a single scene.

But besides that I had a good time and I'm mostly glad that the actual vibe is completely different from the pilot trailer which I didn't like at all. I see no connection to that trailer besides the story and I'm very happy about that. I'm happy with the overall energy and the characters and I'm looking forward to seeing everything unfold, as well as meeting the other characters!!

Feel free to tell me your thoughts in asks or replies!

xxx

[saiintvalentiine]

hello............ loyalty duo werewolf au..................... im gonna start posting bits and bobs here and there of things ive written that dont really have anywhere else to go. no promises on if this will be continued, but i. i do love me some werewolves........................ divider

Warnings for vague descriptions of injuries and implied torture. The writing and editing is kinda rough, sorry for any major errors :')

Wordcount: 1,087

“Werewolves don't exist,” is what the voice says. “What the fuck, werewolves do not exist!”

The muzzle hurts. It's too tight for his face. But he doesn't move from where he's laid, a bloodied heap slowly healing from his wounds. Every full moon he's dragged into this bedrock room after his fights, and every full moon he tries to escape while adrenaline is still flowing through him, and every full moon he suffers the consequences of thinking they can’t possibly stop him this time. He's too tired to fight this new voice, their scent uniquely cat-like and hovering above him. His eyes are too swollen. He's cried quite a bit. It's hard to stop when he's like this.

“Shit, I guess werewolves exist. Fuck. This isn't what I thought was gonna happen when they said there was dog fighting.”

The voice hovers closer, and he tries to shy away. Something is— broken, probably, in his leg, and his claws are cut through the quick, but he tries anyway to press against the wall.

“Hey, hey hey hey, no, I'm not gonna hurt you,” the voice pitches down, softens, and the part of his mind that can't bear another moment of cruelty forces a whimper out of his mouth. “Oh that's— I'm not gonna hurt you, I'm here to get you out, yeah? We're gonna leave. We're gonna leave riiiiight now, right now, I scared everyone else out, it's just you and me now.”

He's not sure he believes the voice, but beyond the walls, there is a terrifying, blessed silence. Whatever this voice did to everyone else, it could probably do to him. He's in no shape to fight it off.

“Hey,” the voice is even quieter now. “It said outside the door that your name is Wifies. Is that you? Wifies?”

He recognizes the name as the one they call him when he's not like this. He can't make any meaningful noise with his muzzle on, but he tries for. . . a purr, something in his chest that isn't a growl.

“Okay. Wifies. Okay Wifies, I'm Ken. You look too big for me to carry, so we need to work together to get you out of here, yeah?” there's some rustling, and Ken curses. He can't help the way he curls up further. “I brought all my escape kits but not a single healing pot. I'm an idiot.”

Getting up from his curled up spot sounds impossible, but his nails are already growing back in as jagged spikes, so he knows he can do it. He struggles to get his arms beneath him, hoisting himself up after a few false starts. Using his good leg, he twists around to sit and lean against the wall. That little bit of effort has him panting, or panting as much as he can within the metal restraints of his muzzle. He peels his eyes open, ignoring the sting.

“Hoooooooly shit,” Ken mutters, staring up at him. He's a head taller than Ken like this. “I definitely can't carry you, my God.”

Ken is dressed in all black, a brown strap across his chest and a bag hanging off his back. He's a cat hybrid, which explains the smell. His ears and eyes and whip-thin tail are split between a candied green and a golden orange. As soon as his blood stops rushing through his ears, he can hear Ken's heart beating, fast and skipping.

He can't make himself any smaller if he's meant to walk. He lowers his head and puts his ears back.

“Nooo, no no no, it's— you make yourself very small very well. Um, okay, let's— how am I gonna get you out of here?”

His bad leg still hurts, but if he can leave. . . He digs his palms into the bedrock behind him and pushes himself to stand. His weight, as paltry as it is for a wolf his size, causes his bad knee to buckle. Ken yelps. He withstands the shaking, burning pain of it to stand up properly.

“They don't chain you up anywhere?” Ken asks, eyes darting around the room. “I've got a netherite axe. I could definitely split any chain.”

Chains were no good. Once his nails grow back, they're easy to shred. He stares down at Ken.

“Jeez, you're huge, good fucking grief.”

He lumbers forwards towards Ken, and the darkened double doors of his cell. Ken takes a step back, then another, then turns around to push the doors open to their absolute maximum. He hunches over to squeeze through.

The hallway is just as dark as the cell, uninterrupted bedrock as far as he can see.

“It's a bit of a labyrinth. Just follow me.”

Ken hesitates for a moment before weaving his way through the halls. He follows, a loud, thudding, limping pace that should have alerted every single creature around to his presence. But it's just Ken’s feather-light footfalls and him. Whatever Ken did to clear the place out was absurdly successful. 

As they turn another indistinct corner, he sees— moonlight. It pools onto the floors, sweet and cool and calling to him. There's a hole blown through the bedrock, the sparkling smell of redstone surrounding it, and he scrabbles around Ken to squeeze through it. Tumbling onto soft, dewey grass (grass, real grass, when had he ever felt such a thing?) he loses all strength and lays on his back, staring up at the full moon.

She's so huge. He's never seen Her before, had just known when She was full or new in his core. But here She is. She is huge and beautiful and he feels, for the first time ever, at peace.

Ken hops out of the hole and steps closer, crouching next to him.

“Hey buddy,” Ken says. “Do you think I can take the muzzle off?”

He shakes his head, then growls for good measure— a soft growl, low and short to not intimidate Ken too much. He can't explain that the muzzle was put on when he was smaller, that it can’t be removed when he’s like this. Or, it can, but it’ll hurt so much he might cry again. Better to let Ken believe that it’s impossible, just in case.

“That's a no. Okay. Well, we should probably leave soon before anyone realizes anything,” Ken looks up at the sky before swinging back and sitting down in the grass, sighing. “But I don't think sitting here for a little longer can hurt.”

Wifies purrs and basks in the moonlight.

[kero-cure]

I'm sorry for posting about them so many times now. But please let me yapping about Tiremeter some more

But think again, I didn't post anything about them since earlier so I have so many things to say... sorry not sorry anyway lmao

Well, After the big bomb of EP 37 dropped, Everyone in the nation lost their mind for sure. What we saw changed our perspective about them a lot. Make shippers like us connect the dots that we saw in every episode so far. And make non-shippers look back to the sign that they already gave but they didn’t notice. I have many thoughts about them and I’d like to share them with you guys here. Brace yourself well because this will be a long ass thesis about them. And this broke a record of being the longest af post I’d ever written here. So grab your drink or some snack, And let’s go.

DON'T YOU DARE IMITATE MY MAN

One thing that I realized after watching EP 37 again is, Taiya looks visibly mad. His voice and his gaze are so cold and has zero hesitation to fight. You guys knew that he had a cold gaze since the very first time he saw the imposter, But his voice was already cold when he said "Can you handle that?" too. And when he said "Let's just end it. You talked too much" It reminded me of EP 34 when he said "Just shut up already". It's the same level of coldness. Coldness that mixing with anger.

Why was he mad to that level? Who he fought was just a creation from monster of the week. Not a big villain who did such unforgivable things to the level like what we saw on EP 34. So, as a mushy brain shipper like me, what I think is maybe he was like "How dare you imitate him and try to fool me with that? I know him much more than you estimated and our bonds are stronger than you thought. Seeing you wearing the appearance of him makes me sick. I feel like we both were insulted by you. Moreover, you tried to make us believe that he's betrayal. So prepare to die because I won't hesitate!"

In lots of anime or movies, when it has "an imposter who imitates another character" episode, The character usually has a struggle to fight back or finish it off because even though they know that it's just an imposter who imitates someone they know. It still has the same appearance of that person. So it's pretty hard to finish it off. But Taiya has no doubt to fight or finish it with his hand at all. Because he knows so damn well that the person in front of him isn't the real Ishiro, the person who he knows to the core. Nobody can replicate him and the dynamics between them. So why should he hesitate, right?

A little thing that JP fellas pointed out is when the counter program activates, They can feel the vibe of “HA! Eat that. My man’s so smart he put an excellent program into our system. You’d never stand a chance. He’s such an amazing guy like this.” from Taiya. And when he said “I believe in him!” I kinda saw him smile. (maybe just me being delulu) So I think that He’s so proud of Ishiro and surely glad to be able to trust each other with all of their hearts.

HE’S GONNA BE OKAY

As I said before in a previous post about they trust each other at an extremely high level. They don’t worry about each other whatever trouble happens because they know so well that each other will come through all of that and will be able to meet each other again. They don’t need to wait for each other to come for help because they know how strong each other are. And because they both think like that, This makes me think back to the last scene of EP 8. This scene is one of my favorite moments that I have to look back on many times. Because only a brief 10 seconds told us many things.

Ishiro always thought that whatever happens with Taiya, He’ll be alright and able to come through it for sure. So seeing Taiya fainted towards his eyes is something that he'd never imagined because he was so sure that it'll never happen. Ishiro literally froze from shock for a brief moment because his brain couldn’t progress what was happening before his eyes. And when reality hit, he lost his calmness, yelling Taiya's name with such a painful voice. He was so desperate and couldn't accept the truth that the man who he trusted more than anyone and strongly believed that he'll be okay whatever bad thing happened, was heavily injured and fainted in front of him.

And this has a development afterwards. After Ishiro had this experience and learned that the enemies keep stronger, I think he developed a thought that "Okay, Something like this might happen again." And now he is able to keep calm and fight back. I was really impressed by what he did in EP 24. "Oh no! Taiya was down. Who did this? Okay, you. You messed with my man, I won’t let you get away!" That was such a cool move my boy! Protect you man!

"They have an absolute trust for each other", This fact is still the same and will never change. But if by any chance something really bad happens, This will turn into a power to fight back and rush to each other's place. Another good example is this scene in EP 30.

And when I reached this thought, One scene of EP 3 came to my head. The scene where Taiya receives a call from Ishiro and the conversation (that we heard) is only calling the name and only one question. Taiya realized that something wrong happened and he immediately went to where Ishiro was. Yeah, Even though in the next scene it wasn't actually a harmful situation, Just a monster of the week rampage in the city. But if one of them really needs help, They will definitely go where they are.

Well, “If it’s a really dangerous situation” I say. For funny stuff like this, if I'm Taiya I’ll just watch Ishiro’s reaction and think “Ah, he's so cute” lmao.

Oh, Little add-on. Even though the fact that "They don’t need to be overprotective for each other” is real, We usually see Ishiro stepping in front of Taiya to protect him from the monster’s silly attack many times. Yeah, I think he knows that Taiya could dodge that easily or even if by any chance he got hit, He’ll be able to do something to get away with it. But Ishiro chose to become a shield anyway. (Even though Mira already yelled at him in EP 14 lol) I think this may come from a mindset like “Noooo! I don’t wanna see my man in that pathetic way! I’d rather be the one who gets attacked and does miserable things! You have to be the one who’s still safe and come help us later!” lmao

TO WHERE THE LIGHT SHINE

One of my local friend (who’s the one who made me fall into this rabbit hole) is good to blend into CN nation fellas. (Like me who’s blending into JP nation fellas. We share the information from both sides.) She told me that CN fellas pointed out the lighting in this scene. This scene, Ishiro has some last conversation with an ex-coworker who is a spy. The place of this scene is in the dark warehouse. And then he walk out to where the light shine. This is completely fit to the lyrics part that I posted before here. He was born and living as a spy that doesn't have any praise or honor. Just do the duty that others give him. No dreams, Nowhere that he can rest, Nothing to believe outside of himself. Until one day he found the "light" that he can rely on and fully trust. Even though he's still working as a spy, Now he doesn't need to only live in the cold darkness anymore. And he's clearly happy to be living in a warmer and brighter place.

"That's why it's worth running together (with him)"

IT WAS REVERSE

About the double transformation scene. I’ll not talk about how they clashed their changers and facing the same way because this tweets of another comrade already talked about this. So I’m gonna talk about how they hold their changers in this scene.

This is how they usually hold their changers.

And this is how they hold in EP 37

See? It was the reverse of how they hold! They hold their changers in each other’s usual way instead. My friends point it out and it’s such nice details. 

Talk about the reverse. I think back to EP 25 when BoonBoomgers have a firework festival party at the rooftop. I realized that while Ishiro was enjoying red apple candy, I saw Taiya holding a bottle of ramune (lemon-lime flavored soda). Interestingly, the ramune bottle color is usually blue. It was just a short scene but I was able to catch this. Seeing that sometimes they do something that is likely to be each other’s things makes my heart flutter.

On a side note, Recently on Instagram, Yuki Hayama (Ishiro's actor) did a drawing competition with Haruhi Iuchi (Taiya's actor) and that was funny. Then I realized that they used each other's character's color to draw. (Yuki used red pen and Haruhi used blue pen) Aww...

FOR YOUR EYES ONLY

When the news about manga adaptation was out. I always wonder why they chose the word "Your Eyes Only" as how to read kanji 秘密 (secret) specifically for title name. For the spy-theme media, I usually see words like "top secret" or "confidential" much more frequently. So mushy-brain shippers like me feel that the word "Your eyes only" has another hidden meaning. Thanks to JP nation fellas, They pointed out the film "For Your Eyes Only" from the 007 franchise. The last scene of this movie had some sexy scenes and the female said "For your eyes only" to invite. This became another meaning of this word. ("Look at me. Only you can see me like this. I'm all yours" vibes) Even the theme songs "For Your Eyes Only" by Sheena Easton is a completely love song that has this way of meaning. It's have no doubt that I had a mushy brain after finding out about this.

And then EP 37 dropped. Seeing them able to understand what each other think by just looking at the eyes. THIS EVEN COMPLETELY FITS TO THE LYRICS OH MY GOD!! And what I posted here is only one part. ALL OF THE LYRICS FROM THE ENTIRE SONG ARE SO THEM!!!

You really know me, that's all I need to know Maybe I'm an open book Because I know you're mine But you won't need to read between the lines

Talk about "knowing each other well", Let's go back to EP 26. The return of (not actually) honest toilet monster. The story of this episode was 90% recap episode but still managed to have some interesting things for me to point out. Because of the experience (Or could I say trauma lol) Ishiro had with the toilet monster, He really thinks that the toilet water will make him speak the truth that he doesn't wanna say it out loud in front of anyone. And when he gets hit by the water, According to the production blog…

He got splashed with water and thought, "This is an enemy attack. Well, Let's just say what I really think!" And he went on worrying & praising Taiya mode.

I can clearly hear that the voice that Ishiro used that time was different from usual. It has more tension in that voice. That is so obvious. But Taiya said that it was “You as usual”, So that time I had a question. This is obviously the voice that I never heard but for Taiya this is usual? That’s mean you guys have another side that only you guys know? And as the story went on after this episode, We saw that they usually have a secret that only they knew. (EP 34)

And then EP 37 was out. Seeing them having heart to heart communication like that answers my question. It wasn’t about the voice Ishiro used that time. But it was about how Ishiro is always caring and admiring Taiya, is “an usual thing”. Even though they don’t speak out loud, But just look at each other's eyes, They will know how each other thinks. The trust and love they have for each other are sensible by just the gaze. And only they could understand those. They’re an open book only for each other. This’s the secret of them, Truly “For your eyes only”.

Ps. But I still wonder why Ishiro tried so hard to make sure that Taiya won’t get hit by the water. Did he worry that the secret that only they know will be exposed? The secret like… They’re secretly in a relationship for real lmao

OUR PERSPECTIVE WAS CHANGED

Actually, Tiremeter caught my attention since EP 1 because of the word “love” in production blog, Then “Your words “fall in love” is so unfair” in EP 2, Then “I believe in what you see” “I know” in EP 3, And when I let my guard down they came back with “Don’t leave me behind this time” in EP 9. They did such a good job to lure me to the rabbit hole. And thanks to one of my local friend who drew lots of fanarts in her account to lure me too, It work lol. After I spent some time (Maybe around 2-3 months. I had another main hyperfixation back then.) learning about them weekly, I was sure that I really love them. Finding out that they have lots of my favorite ship dynamics pack in them lit my fire.

I'm blending inside JP Tiremeter nation for pretty long time now. When I enter the rabbit hole and find fanworks to read from JP fellas, It usually starts with one-sided love lore. Because in the beginning, According to how the storytelling gave us, This is how we saw the arrow point in the first place. (I used relationship diagram to make you guys understand better)

You can see that this is pretty much one-sided love lore. We only saw how heavy the love is from Ishiro because of how the production blog was written on it and how he acted in the series. But we couldn’t know how Taiya thought about him in return. (And even Haruhi didn’t know at that time. ….I’m pretty sure that someone on the actors' side talked about how they didn’t know what Taiya actually thought about Ishiro. But I’m not sure who said that. If I’m wrong please correct me. Thank you very much)

And this is after EP 29. The time that we had a new lore about how the sentence division made them misunderstood. Because EP 2 we saw this scene as Ishiro's POV, and EP 29 we saw as Taiya's POV. I talked about this in this post.

And this is after EP 37. (Ps. Play the hook part of "trust you" by Yuna Ito for maximum experience lol)

Holy moly. No more one-sided unrequited love lore based, or misunderstandings/passing each other without noticing lore based for them. THEY ARE MUTUAL! THE LOVEBIRDS! Love for each other is both big and heavy. Well well… Only thing shippers like us can do is thinking about them having good time in the (redacted) Oh… What did I say? lmao

Ironically, Ishiro is a spy who has to be really good at keeping secrets. But about hiding the feeling of love, Taiya does it better and keeps it cooler. Well, it's the first time Ishiro had his heart shaken, stolen and fluttering, so I guess that can't be helped. lmao.

So… That was my yapping about them, The hyperfixation of 2024. Oh, That was long, long yapping. Since this post broke a record of being the longest post yet (Last time I wrote a long ass post was around November last year) So next year I have to write a much longer post? Nah… If I have an extreme level of hyperfixation or in the peak mode maybe lol. I’ll continue posting about me reading Your Eyes Only manga every week. So please check it out. See ya sometimes soon.

Ps. I’m gonna end my essay with this video. Nice reaction from fellow nation comrades. And I feel so grateful to see my otp receives so much love like this.❤️💙

[quentinfiletmignon]

DAVID TENNANT as CROWLEY, a demon who deserved better an angel who did not so much fall as saunter vaguely downwards

A4 • STABILO point 88 liners

[pinkd3mon]

I can respect the hater mentality

[whatisthisnonsense]

"mutants are poc analogy" "mutants are queer analogy" Listen, X-Men and as such mutants as a whole should really be disability representation, and I mean representation and not analougous to it they just occassionally also get to blast ice while having furniture not built for them, struggles with keeping their mind in the present, and constantly having people casually discuss sterilizing or euthanizing them and being considered either dangerous or simply incapable of understanding when they get mad about this. But nobody is ready for this conversation.

[truecorvid]

i need to get off of the internet i can't stand online "leftists" anymore i can't do this

[supercantaloupe]

sleepover saturday :)

i just got back home and i am with My Beast…….

i enjoy how the second one looks like a big foot sighting. anyway :)

how are we feeling about vaopera don giovanni Drawing Nearer (and carmen. their whole season actually looks very neat)

i’m gonna try and see both dg + carmen

your creature looks so much like a giant weird bug it's so fascinating

va opera's season looks Great this year and i was so happy to see them replace siegfried (i think?? it was one of them rings) with don g. BUT i'm pissed off that don g for some reason is not playing in fairfax, only in richmond and norfolk. i was straight up going to get a season subscription this year but now i'm not gonna because i can't because only two shows are near me!!

i'm still planning on seeing carmen and probably loving v virginia though. i love carmen, and i think it's one of those shows that's hard to fuck up unless you're actively trying (cracknell carmen sucks shit but even still the performances are great, it's just the production that's terrible). and loving v virginia sounds interesting. and i've really enjoyed the productions i've seen from va opera so far (barber of seville and pirates of penzance). i trust them to do something good and interesting and fun, though i'm curious to see that play out for something that isn't a comedy this year.

i still might see don g. i'm not sure. richmond is like a 2 hour drive for me, which is not out of the question entirely, especially for a weekend matinee which they do have. and thankfully the matinee is on sunday, not saturday, which is an Absolute no go this year considering that's yom kippur. and as much as i love don g i am not skipping services for that. so...idk, i'd love to see it, but i'm not sure yet, given the timing and the fact that it means a lot of driving in a single day. it's not out of the question yet, but i'm still on the fence i guess.

[ask meme]

[unproduciblesmackdown]

also it's something (better) like, the exercise of deliberately [art imitates life imitates art] holding up Billions to My IRL Things Perspective and going like whaaat would i want for winston. first answer is you want any character to not have been within the scope of the show in the first place, and to exit it since they are. and you kind of get that in the accidental reward in banishing winston, since like in the end it's just that the show doesn't care about him existing at that point But like it's winston sitting there quietly as everyone leaves & turns out the lights & Then he can leave too; others have peaced out & nobody remembers he exists so Now he can go off & do whatever.

but like in true form i think they definitely accidentally baked in another divine reward for winston in that, like, the way he's kept around as fodder for these fun little [pov: enjoy abusing this guy] asides with him, where it Just So Happens that he's autistic as something they're unaware of but is completely relevant to the expectation we understand him to be inferior(tm), it Just So Happens that he's also ""bad"" at not ""causing"" abuse to be turned on him. he's ""bad"" at staying in line. like well yes Yes that's what i want for him. just like In Real Life it's like yeah Ideally i'd want people to be able to extricate themselves from where they're trapped in power structures & i'd want them to have the perspective about it of understanding they're not Inferior / i.e. they are as much a person as anyone else and they're not corrupting everything good / i.e. it wasn't them Bringing It Upon Themselves and it's not them being Destructive by toppling a jenga tower of a hierarchy that happened to be pressing down on them. and winston is the kind of [the ruinerrrrrr] who is Turned On exactly because he keeps acting like someone who's on the verge of breaking out of the [being in line] someone demands of him as autist, employee, whatever other supposed manifestations of [inferior]

like in the 5 second stretches in which winston's allowed to speak before retaliation, it's because he's like "matter of factly" delivering whatever Information that's useful for another plotline. then he Brings It Upon Himself by making people aware that he's Also existing in his own right as a person rather than what they think serves their own deal / what they want from him at all times, perhaps by expressing his personality (didn't appeal to them! so it was Wrong) or not b/c of anything in particular said or done at present, just b/c people have a constant / accumulating contempt for him so their being in the same room as him & able to see & hear him is already dangerous. the [we're just seeing Any Abusive Dynamic in action] continuing apace.

and it's like, well, right there. he's written as acting like someone who doesn't blame himself for how he's treated, which billions frames as being Rude & Mean, and so too does everyone's abusers lmfao like and that these are his moments that are written to be Bringing It Upon Himself. and it's like hell yeah he doesn't blame himself. hell yeah that his self-esteem can manifest as anger at all. hell yeah that he keeps expressing himself with personality & confidence & doesn't even disguise his having been hurt, & it's this [his ass is Not grey rocking] that billions frames as both him "causing" his abuse & making that abuse "successful" lol, wrow just like real life!! and when like speaking of real life yeah it's not "bad" that people Do engage in strategies to mitigate & survive, including things like blaming themselves or being too "boring" to be anything but a non dialogued background character b/c that's all that goes unpunished, it's bad b/c it's done to them at all, not [ohh they're doing it to themselvesss] and like i'm asking myself like Ideally. what do i want Ideally. and i'd want winston to know that it's being Done To Him & i'd want him to find as much room for his personhood & autonomy as possible. and that's basically how he's written anyways, and billions hates that like You See this is why he deserves it this is why he's doing it to himself. and i'm like my god if that's not Inspiration for like "so what if people don't find you Personally Likable" and not preemptively holding back all personality or anything that'd draw attention as if you exist as a person in your own right & not something that only either gets in the way of or serves their wants of a Real person (someone with more power) like hell yeah you have him out here doing it =']

another fun addendum is like, billions isn't getting into it much b/c it doesn't seem to care much about "what if some people were peers & seem to have a genuine, recipcrocal relationship?" but that it just so happened to be like "oh tuk as the next closest loser who deserves it might be nice to winston" while it's framing winston as the "worse" Loser as being....unconditionally supportive of tuk. while the one downside of billions Also giving bentuk as much as it is is that it also inevitably has that shadow of "but ben is Superior to tuk" and like that it's correct that everyone encourages tuk to Stop Bringing It Upon Himself and start being less of a loser; it's wrong for winston to be like hey let's go have a foursome. like yeah probably don't make a list of the women you work with you'd be dtf but it's not like i'm convinced "ah billions and it's strong anti misogyny stance like" roflmao and billions is Not reflecting on "the downsides of unconditional support?" there when winston was beaten up for criticising taylor earlier like we WILL take his ideas while looting his [beaten unconscious] body there but he WAS wrong to express them as though he's BETTER than taylor!!! mafee's beautiful show of loyalty in kicking his ass even when he might agree with the argument and then benefit when it's adopted by taylor anyways! so it's as usual actually purely based on hierarchy & who gets to be in charge of people. it's correct for ben to be in charge of tuk, unless he has to step aside for that bizarre dead-end subplot about how it's tuk's fault if he's treated badly, b/c it's really his own Failure to have Confidence to know he has good ideas [raising our voice to deliver this message over the sound of breaking desks and chairs and computer monitors over winston because he had the confidence to act like he deserved to talk to someone and because he knows his ideas efforts & results are good & valuable around there] like. and isn't it sooo fucked up to talk about who you're dtf in the episode that has it be neutral if your boss is dtf & lets you know but is nice about it (and you're already Correctly tending to their ego, which you're responsible for!) like hey no possible problem! it's not even so much of a problem for a boss man to have the sex they're entitled to & be rude about their leveraging their power in that acquisition that it Stays a problem into the next season. ew, winston is Known (Inferred) Dtf??? we'll use it to exploit His vulnerability, exacerbate it, & punish him further for good measure in another episode that just revels in abuse & violation with a sexual aspect once again, but like, hey tuk don't do that, winston's such a Bad Influence for being like, shrug, kneejerk intervening with the Good Friendship where the One In Charge leaps in & Tells tuk the Correct thing to do. obviously there's also the tragedy that billions will Never let winston push back against Real Winners like rian or taylor in A Way That Matters (actually gets in their way at all) lol like. one thing that would have really been fun, winston should've literal kneejerk started physically fighting wags in either pertinent scene in 7x03 for real 110%. i wouldn't be like Gasp Violence Is Never The Answer if he just hit someone to hit them b/c fuck you. or broke anything on his way out etc etc. billions would Never let him. which is the other side of the same coin of [why he should get to]

tl;dr how great that winston's being "out of line" means he's basically always noticeably flouting & rebelling against the [He Deserves Abuse] agenda lol. that IS what i want. his being "beyond hope" like ohhh he's sooo stupid he doesn't realize how much he has the bad tastes & wrong interests & annoying personality He Will Always Be This Way like hell yeah!!! billions like oh no winston's personhood will never stay tamped down & locked away such that some godawful person tolerates keeping him in their inventory :( ohhh the ABA will never work :( that's right!!!!!!!!!! although they're not sad about it because it's about relishing the promise there will always be True Inferiors you can enjoy abusing with your righteous power over, but like well you wrote him escaping anyways even while dragging other "better" characters into standing around to serve axe's need for more than 1.8 employees and [crickets, reverberating cough, sneaker scuff] like. another ""wrong"" thing for winston to do, another thing for him to not "deserve," which is itself godawful actually lol like lord what it "rewards" its Good, Deserving characters with, no thanks. meanwhile winston's punishment is that he's autistic and """bad""" at being abused like lmfao good for him, fantastic for him, just what i want

[frostbite-the-bat]

I really wrote a mini essay in tags on how high roller would survive fnaf 3 only to realize the post said fnaf 4 and I'm dyslexic AND dyscalculic and described the wrong game

Either way high roller would survive in fnaf 3, thrive, even

MORE AT 5!