#anyway.. + i dont have money 4 it anymore LOL.

[nomaishuttle]

note to self for next time : No boots No tights No dress

[ddlcbrainrot]

What do you think the girls would do in college? And how do you think they would look like?

well @heartbeatbookclub had a similar ask a while back and honestly i kind if agree with most things he mentioned. im gonna give a quick rundown of my headcanons but they are probably pretty similar lol

monika sweetheart im sorry but you are NOT having a good college experience. She definitely chooses a really demanding major like law and then surprise! the academically challenging major is academically challenging! who would have thought. she has been used to understand the meterial first try in highschool so now that she doesnt? ohhhh boy :). it definitely doesn't help that she went to college immediately after highschool. anyway what does she do? i have no idea. id like to think she takes a break and recollects herself, but lets be honest, monika is the type of person to keep at it until she like genuinely cant take it anymore. on the bright side, im sure the others would be a great help to her during this time

sayori does not go to college immediately after highschool, and that helps her a LOT. during her gap year, she focuses more on her mental health as well as figuring out what she wants to do in the future. and i think that leads her into some kind of elementary school work. maybe during her gap year she started babysitting around the neighborhood to make some money (and also so she wouldnt be sitting in her house all day) and she figures out how much she loves working with children

yuri i think would go to college right after highschool, but not because she feels like she needs to prove herself like Monika, its more of a "uhm i guess the next step is college" type of thing. i dont think college would be as bad for yuri as highschool. i actually think that this is the time she get a bit more comfortable and confident in herself. as far as majors go, she studies something literature-writting related. she probably has a draft for a book somewhere that she refuses to mention to anyone (at first). after college she probably ends up working at some sort of library whike she maybe does some writing on the side

natsuki is NOT going to college. i just cant see her putting herself through 4-5 years of more school. idk maybe she thinks about going to culinary school? but like, in my experience most culinary schools are super expensive. plus she thinks experience is way more valuable than any sort of class. so yeah she immediately goes into working. she starts off low, maybe she finds a job helping out in some local bakery for minimum wage. the best case scenario for her is to get to the point she can open her own bakery, but if we are being realistic, opening your own business is like.. a very big risk. so idk how possible it is

(in a perfect world they all open a book café/bakery together)

Here's a quick sketch of em :

[radioroxx]

*slides you $500 in monopoly money* spare deets about the isafrin kids? i love them soooooooo much and would love love love to know even more!!!

like!! how did they get wished into existence? were they just There one day as small kids, or did they come as babies? did aurore come first and then eile? and isafrin!!! they look different!!?!!?! love love love love postcanon designs and would love to hear your thoughts on them (and! their bonding earrings??)

I WROTE THIS OUT AND REALIZED HOW STUPID LONG IT IS SO. ITS GOING UNDER A CUT. WOWZERS

Ok first- WISH BABIES!!!

uh. uhm. uh

ahah. oops!!

though we did get to discussing a few options after getting this ask (more like. i. asked them. and they provided. im not the thinker in this group. hehe!)

(@chromatasia )

for context on this one- i believe a while ago we also talked about wishing involving sacrificing? the idea of givinf up a piece of yourself (sometimes physically, like hair) to help power a wish! or link yourself to it?

a second option (three whole screenshots…)

(@unregisteredskybox )

carve your own baby!! yay!

general idea for our fankids though is that yes, they were created super young. and as babies. so aurore wouldve been crafted a few years before eilé :)

so yea ur two options <3 pick i guess lol. i dont have a solid idea there.

the second half of your questions- yes!! isafrin! theyre older and different!! wahoo!

the older isafrin designs were moreso. i wanted to have a little fun and made them. lawl. but now i get an excuse to share anyway :) so here!!

numbered the details to make it a lil easier. also dont mind these r quick scribbles,,

1- general outfits and stuff. siffrins i wanted to keep mostly similar to how i usually draw them. sleeveless top, horrible and unnecessary amount of belts,, knowing that hes maybe not as eager to change as some others might be. they are comfortable in their style and thats what matters. for isabeau i wanted to keep a familiar vibe, but still change it up. i think he would still wear clothes that are flowy-er etc etc, buuut yeayeayea. not an outfits guy really so jfkf theyre pretty simple.

2- themb!! they look different! siffrins hair is longer obv obv, and no lightless dye anymore. they tie it back usually, but he still likes it long. also some facial hair. important to me. (you may also notice lack of eyepatch,, personal hc that siffrin gets more comfortable without it after making up with bonnie some more. that he maybe depending on it a lot because he thought it would make them uncomfortable, which theyyy dont have to worry about. anymore! so less eyepatch. sometimes still though). isa on the other hand looks mooostly the same! except. ofc. bigger beard. you guys should know i love my beards by now. lawl. other than that mostly the same,, physical pain in me trying to think of a different hairstyle for him… maybe in the future but for now he gets This.

3- new cloak-thing for sif! his regular cloak is probably much more well suited for the travelling lifestyle, much less the domestic stay-at-home lifestyle, soo they changed it up! (and totally not an excuse for isabeau to try out craft stitching nooo definitely not as practice for the future whaat who said that.) they will still wear the old cloak occasionally, buuut not as often as they used to.

4- finally! bonding earrings!!! yes! the designs themselves are pretty simple. squares and change symbols for the design sif made for isa, and a star with bits that go ding-ding that isa made for sif. more importantly, siffrin carved the earrings himself! it is. hard. to do that. a design that is so small. there were many failed attempts and scraped ideas but they got it done! and isa loves them very much. for isas design, the main star part is glass, and the dangling bits are carved gems (picture isabeau, panicking because this is siffrin hes making these for so it needs to be perfect. and he gets odile to help him, because despite all the teasing she is ofc very fond, and helps him out with that aspect of the design.)

ok thats all - bye bye bye

[hmslusitania]

20 Questions for Fic Writers

I was tagged by @littlespoonevan!

1. How many works do you have on AO3?

83!

2. What’s your total word count on AO3?

885,673

3. What fandoms do you write for?

Currently just DC and Star Wars (if you are looking at my ao3 going “i dont see Star Wars??” its wips. Its all wips)

4. Top five fics by kudos

- Leave the Light On

- I Didn’t Know I Was Lonely ‘Til I Saw Your Face

- Close My Eyes and Stumble

- Half Awake in Our Fake Empire

- Don’t Take the Money

5. Do you respond to comments?

I do when it’s a fic I’m still excited about! Especially ones I’m actively posting

6. What is the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?

I’m… not sure I ever let anything end on an angsty ending?

7. What’s the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?

Probably Leave the Light On just by contrast with everything that came before the end

8. Do you get hate on fics?

For about ten.7 seconds I was writing fic for Once Upon a Time and it is the only time I’ve ever gotten hate on fics and i removed said fics from ao3 and don’t write in that fandom anymore

9. Do you write smut?

The answer to this question used to be “no haha well maybe like every once in a while” but like. Considering I posted an E rated chapter this very morning, I cannot equivocate about that anymore

10. Craziest crossover?

That I won’t ever finish? The one time @starry-eyed-guttersnipe and I wrote part of a 9-1-1/Fringe fusion fic. That I’m actively working on? DC/Star Wars and I am having So much fun

11. Have you ever had a fic stolen?

Not to my knowledge

12. Have you ever had a fic translated?

Several times yeah! I think that’s neat

13. Have you ever Co-written a fic?

Working on one right now!

14. All time favourite ship?

It’s physically impossible for me to answer this

15. What’s a wip you want to finish but doubt you ever will?

I started a Star Wars alternate timeline fic like two years ago and I think about it a lot because the main point of the plot ended up being, uh, the main point of the plot of Jedi: Survivor so like… it got weird to work on lol

16. What are your writing strengths?

I think I’m good with dialogue and character

17. What are your writing weaknesses?

Transitions

18. Thoughts on dialogue in another language?

Depends on the language and the context

19. First fandom you wrote in?

H*rry P*tt*r

20. Fave fics you’ve written?

Like Any Unloved Thing

Weakened Like Achilles

Gotham Honest, Anyway (the last chapter of which goes up tomorrow morning)

Tagging anyone who wants to do it and also specifically @rhysiana and @sonseulsoleil

[aropride]

i am losing it the tiniest bit .

googling like "my mother treats me like a child" or wgatever just brings up like ppl talking abt their mothers not wanting them to grow up or not giving them enough freedom which is a valid problem and one i have but it is a completely different problem from the one im looking for information on which is that i am a 20 year old man and my mother babytalks at me like a four year old on a regular basis. its drivng me fucking crazy but i dont want to argue and she wouldnt listen anyway she'd probably just be like "i dont do that" which .okay. but like holy fucking shit it is SO annoying and demeaning and WEIRD.

and like i can handle it when she treats me like. a teenager. like whatever im 20 close enough i dont care. but when she treats me like im 10. or 7. or fucking 4. its like. what the fuck is your problem.

and like okay i was thinking abt this the other day bc i was talking 2 my dad like just hanging out and he was treating me like a Person and like. idk i feel like when he had kids he was Expecting and Excited for us to turn into little people with our own thoughts and free will (maybe not the transgender communist thing i think that was a bit far but he's always been supportive in terms of like. me being my own person otherwise).

and my dad volunteers at church with some of the kids like 9-12 age range, and a lot of them have rough home lives and 'act out' cuz of that and he's very patient with them and helps them with what theyre going thru and generally just acts like theyre little people. because they ARE little people. like he genuienly cares for those kids and is always like... taking them to the park and stuff but also like, being character witness for their parents' custody battles n shit like actually helping and suppotying them.

whereas my mother volunteers at church with babies and toddlers and its almost like she sees them as pets. and will complain abt them being annoying or MEAN if they cry or dont want to play with her. like she's nice to them but she will complain abt it as if theyre trying to spite her

and i feel like she didnt become a parent bc she wanted to raise a small human i feel like she just wanted a pet. and shes been better with my sister but when i was a kid the second i was like 6 and developed some free will she kinda like. Moved on from me LOL. and stopped caring abt me outside of like. buying food. wire mother type shit. idk it's just really obvious that my dad cares abt these kids as people but my mother cares abt them for only as long as they dont upset her or do something she doesnt want them to. if that makes sense

and idk its like. i am 20 years old. im not going to go back to a 4 year old with no sense of the world outside of u because I AM TWENTY YEARS OLD. I HAVE LIVED ALONE IN SCHOOL I HAVE GONE TO THE DMV I HAVE WORKED A JOB I HAVE DEALT WITH MEDICAL EMERGENCIES ON MY OWN . i have had to make my way through every single social problem and mental health problem and shit since i was SIX bc thats when she stopped giving a shit about me. im not a child anymore

but i think its also part of why im so fucking bad at Being An Adult. bc she never taught me how do to any of this shit bc she was busy pretending im still a little kid. and now im too anxious to figure out how to do things on my own and i dont know how to ask for help and everything is very overwhelming and she tells me she wants me to get a job but doesnt help and she acts like she wants me to leave but she doesnt tell me that or help me leave and i am SO FUCKING SICK of living at home but i dont have the money or the skills to get out

and she's NEVER helped me with adult stuff either . the only thing i can think of is when she took me to the bank bc i needed her signature to take her off my bank account . otherwise my dad has been the one to help me with college applications + college stuff in general + finances + jobs etc etc . whereas my mother ACTIVELY LIES TO ME ABOUT THOSE THINGS TO TRY TO STOP ME FROM GETTING MY OWN DEBIT CARD !!!!!!!!!!

and it's this fucking exhausting mix of signals where she's like "u need to get a job u need to learn to drive u need to do this and that" but also she Literally , not exageratting , treats and talks to me like i am a child . i am so fucking sick of it it's unreal . i am going to lose my fucking mind .

[goldenpinof]

Hi me again, sorry for sending another ask on this, i just think the conversation is really interesting, feel free to delete the ask if you dont feel like another long post lol

Its an interesting perspective definitely, I liked reading it and I agree with a lot of what you said, and I dont think either of us or anyone other than them will know the real behind the scenes. I just think that the idea that dnpg is only there to keep veiwers happy is and serves no other purpose, undersells a little bit how much they themselves like the content that they made/are making. I guess, I dont know if they plan on expanding it, or if you're right and it may be the same content (except more unhinged I agree) and then fizzle out again after a few years once they move on to different things — But I just dont really agree that its nothing more than something to squeeze an extra couple bucks out of the dan and phil brand. Im not naive enough to think that money plays no factor, and maintaining their brand is unimportant, they have a very expensive mortgage and relatively extravagant lifestyle to pay for, so obviously making money is important, but i also believe that they are really passionate about entertainment, and I think that they are geniuinly proud and happy about the dan and phil brand and what theyve made over the years. Especially with how much dan has spoken about how important it is to him that what he produces represents him authentically, and tells the narrative how he wants to tell it, so i dont necessarily believe that even dnpg could just be a throwaway project for either of them. I want to believe that they are doing it for a purpose more than monetary gain, even if that purpose is to transition into newer content. Because as proud as i think they are of what they've made, i think they are ready for a new era, I dont know that either of them are really all that passionate about the 2016 style of youtube vlogging and gameplay anymore. But i also think they are finally understaing that completely disregarding it and their history doesnt work either. To be honest, I didnt say it, but was quite nervous about a dnpg return bc even if some of it was a mess, I really quite liked that they were evolving their content, that they were exploring new avenues, bc to me comfort videos can only go so far. Before the revival i hadnt watched a dnpg video in over a year. I only really thought about dnp when they uploaded something, and I was starting to fall out of the loop with everything. But once that first video dropped I could see this isn't exactly a copy and paste of 2018 videos. They have matured they have changed their style a bit and im happy about it, but I also really want it to evolve further bc if its just nostalgia hour for another 4 years, idk how long ill be hooked for. Im not 14 anymore and I dont want to be 14. I want to watch content made for a maturer audience, that represents who they are now. I grew up with them and that means a lot to me, I thought i would never outgrow them, but it only really works if I actually get to grow with them, if they grow aswell. Which is why im skeptical about the style of dnpg as it is, and im hopeful that this is just a transitioning period. Idk maybe none of this makes sense, and it doesnt even really matter anyway, bc honestly ill probably still be keeping up with them to some extent even when im 50. Its just interesting to think about all the directions thos could all go in, and its interesting to hear another perspective on it all.

(This follow up ask was far longer than i intended it to be, i apologise in advance)

you see, i agree with you on mature content and heading in this direction. i was asking for it for years. i just never thought it would land on dnpgames. AP was my main target because it became the main source of content after 2018. Dan's content was already mature for a couple of years before he "left youtube". idk how gaming would be mature though? swearing doesn't make it one. and that leads to other types of content like podcast or regular liveshows.

idk, if it's a mechanism to protect myself or just bitterness. but after 2019-2022 i don't believe they (Dan) will jump on dnp brand and do what we have been begging them to do since 2019. i just don't believe he completely changed his opinion after wad, sat down with Phil and made a whole ass 5-year plan for dnpgames including all our wishes and suggestions (which he was so opposed to right till he went on tour). the timing is very suspicious. the timing of everything including the change of their managers. money is involved, and that's okay with me. (i want people to understand, that when i comment on dnp doing something for money, it's not a negative comment. it's their job. if the revival of dnpgames is 80% to make an easy bank — good for them! as long as we have content that we enjoy i don't care if money is a huge factor in its existence. again, youtube adsense, sponsorships, brand deals — it's their job. as long as they are not killing themselves or losing all authenticity in the process, go right ahead. i worry about their marketing like my life depends on it, because marketing gives more views and engagement = more money)

call it a stupid trauma or whatever but i am afraid they're gonna drop us suddenly again. we got dnpgames back but it's so fragile because we don't know the reasons, plans or anything that could secure us. in 2018 liveshow Dan said, "i'm not leaving youtube", and then he did. and they killed everything dnp related, one by one. i remember the feeling, and i don't like it. i had to completely forget about dnpgames, bury it, and let it go. and now, here we are :)

for you and people who think like you about dnp's plans for dnpgames, i hope you're right and won't get disappointed. i, personally, can't allow myself to get my hopes up ❤️

[strawberryseeded]

veryveeeeeeeery personal vent :P

2day a had a HUGE breakdown ….ha.ha… of course it was abt my job. n my health.

i got out of work (after one of the WORST days in a long time) TEAR EYED n sniffling like stupid. started walking 2 get off sum steam .or something. walked (sobbing) til reaching the more commercial street n was like i deserve smt nice !! so i bought some air-dry clay. sobbed inside the store also (trying rly hard to actually keep my cool. it just was impossible). but got the clay. yay. got out n sobbed some more while walking. saw sum cute tees on a store window. thought i deserve this too !!!! is the money worth it if i feel like this????? no way in hell!!!!!!!!!!! but im Trying to make it worth it!!!!! rly cute tees btw, i ended up buying both of them 👍they were soooo cheap<3 *sobbing again as i write this! * *

pics of the tees :)

i actually couldnt find a pic of the chocolate one but its similar to the one i put here. just cooler(?)

anyways

when i got home 4 the 1st time i vented 2 my friends abt part of it, how tired and worried i was n they immediatly were like brother this is clearly somatization at play..,n i was likee hehe yeah maybe :P *keeps crying *

my mom got home sum hrs later, i broke down in front of her as wellll.......i was like mom this isnt normal this yr i got sick SIX TIMES since i started working, one time after another. i hv NEVER gotten sick so many times before tell me im not crazy n you are thinking the same as i am. she was like what do you mean. i answered MY JOB my job its getting me sick. she said you dont know that. maybe they arent related you werent sick last year and you had the same job. and what are you gonna do if not this, anyways? have you thought about it? i said No (crying) bc i HAD thought abt it, several times since last yr, but absolutely NOTHING has come to mind since then. which is the important part & what she was asking anyways.

i told her im not asking you to fully support me until i find another job. i just need you to agree with me that this isnt NORMAL.

her: you need to go to the clinic. get some studies done. go to therapy. then we'll talk. you can't quit your job, what are you gonna do in the meantime?

me: i dont Know!!! that's whats freaking me OUT!!! * SOBS AND SOBS*

her: well then TAKE THE NECESSARY STEPS to know what are you gonna do!

me: i get it but i can't stand to keep getting sick anymore!!

in the end we both went to the farmacy n she bought me a shitton of vitamins and cough syrup etc etc.

sighs.

idk

im so lost. i was so set on "enduring and search for smt else in the meanwhile".. it seemed like the perfect plan!!! but apparently the enduring part was... way harder than what i expected? (as u can see the search. did not bear fruits) which makes me feel really really pathetic ;_;

in general my job makes me feel rly pathetic and vulnerable and like im not cut for it!!! (and keep in mind i went to SCHOOL for it. it was my choosen career!!!) that's why everytime i talk abt it here im so vague abt it n just say i hate it or that it tires me out a lot, or that im gonna kms one of these days(lol) . irl its kinda the same i just try to sound more positive and like im a normal, functional member of society even tho i dont feel like that At all. bc if I dont its just SAD.

where was i going w this....

god. idk. i just. i fantasize everyday abt quitting. everyday. but i just cant. i feel so alone and useless, both when im working and also off the clock bc i just cant help but drag with me everything i think & feel abt the "worker me" everywhere i go.

wouldnt want anyone i love to ever feel this way.

anyways. u hv NO IDEA how much my eyes sting rn, they hv all day. idk if its bc i cried so much.. also im still sick so im rly rly tired..:( so im just gonna stop now.

i still have hope and dreams, despite it all! i just hv 2 yet find the way to turn them into reality.

[isaswifty]

week 14 :|

THIS WAS THE WEEK WHERE IT WAS TO TERRIBLE OMG.

so let me tell you about it!

the friday before, my friend of many many years decides to lease trap me (we were supposed to sign our leases together but she couldnt meet up with me so i signed mine myself and the next day she told me her parents said no even though we had been playing this for about 6-8 months), and her excuse for it is "because my grandparents are rich so she'll be fine" or whatever. First of all, my grandparents do not pay for ANYTHING for me lol. They owned a hotel for like 55 years and then retired, they are not using their retirement money on me lol. My mom works like 2-3 jobs and my dad works 12 hours a day EVERYDAY so we can be comfortable and do fun things, go on vacations, stuff like that. Its not like a i can just break a $1100 lease plus like a $750 deposit WHILE i pay my rent currently like... my parents would NOT do that i am stuck being in a 2/2 with a random roommate not. Which i wanted to be in a 2/2 anyways but like, its just the fact that she doesn't seem to care that bothers me. ANYWHOO that happened on friday, week 13.

Monday, week 14, i try and sign up for my fall classes and i get told theres a hold on my account and i figure out its because my old college didn't transfer over my records. which HOW AM I ENROLLED RIGHT NOW IF YOU DONT HAVE MY RECORDS. I think ucf lost them or smth but i had to call efsc and get. tutorial on how i can get my records and in the end i had to pay $10 to get my records sent. Im having a breakdown and on the verge of tears so my teacher excuses me and lets me go home early.

Tuesday, i notice the hold is still on my account and i email my advisor and they say it could take 4-6 WEEKS LIKE WHATT. Then i have to go to my apartment lobby and talk about how my friend, who was supposed to be my roommate, is not going to sign her lease anymore and how i needed to retake the roommate quiz and change a couple things and by there time i was done doing that and emailing some other people from the office, class was almost over!! how great!

Wednesday, I email admissions and ask if theres anyway i can get my hold lifted for like a day so i can sign up for classes since i already sent my transcripts and they said yes, i just need to go to admissions office and show proof witha. reciept and i can get it lifted. I couldnt on this day, because i was in my 3 hour art class.

Thursday, i go to admissions and by the time i get out theres like 20 mins left of class. Then i get a call from my apartment complex saying my dad needs to sign a few things and so then i had to call him and i was so stressed that when i was done with that there was like 10 minutes left of class and there was just no point in going.

Friday, i went home, where i playe stardew valley and cried a bit, and went to bed early which is why i did not submit this on time.

WELP thats what happened, hope it makes sense lol.

XOXO, Bella

[souldivide]

had a dream that my mom had another meltdown and i screamed and cried at her so much that i lost my voice and i couldn’t scream anymore and i was growing more and more exhausted by the minute. it was disorienting how i physically couldn’t talk at all no matter how desperate and dizzy i was to cry even more, only to wake up and use my voice just fine

anyways, im emotionally exhausted. i comforted my mother for 4 or 5 hours last night, in i think her worst meltdown ever. it feels bad, but even when she was thrashing and screaming out on the bed i felt not a lot at all. i think i have trouble processing the urgency and consequences of the situation because i just didn’t feel anything. even when i saw her in distress.

now that my brothers in the psych ward due to what happened. i don’t know how much more of this we can take, but the problem is that it may not matter at all because we still have to take it. when my brother finishes his time in the ward, or in rehab, what will we do ? will it go back to normal? and will he go back to rehab? or will we find him overdosed?. we can’t kick him out, he has no one. he’ll probably end up in danger or dead or worse. He’s suicidal. we can’t even tell if it’s either the withdrawal that’s making him like this, or a mental disorder, or both.

ive never seen my mom cry like this before ever in my life and i dont know what i can do about it other than expect the worse or something, like his name on the news. im worried he’s changing so much and its been going on for so long that there’s nothing we can do because of how much we’ve pushed him and looked out for him already. i think with all the support we’ve given him, it has to be him to take control and figure things out. but the worst thing is that even with him working to get to rehab he’s still showing the same reactions that make me FEEL (not KNOW) that he will not change. and that he will be the same person and it’ll be a cycle. i feel like i should have experience and therefor know what to do, with all this drug abuse in the family but im soo tired. I don’t know how to feel scared even though this should be the most stressful thing in my life, but i just don’t feel anythinggg. i really hate my brother, he makes me so angry and i hate this complex around me and i hate how he treats me, but i don’t want anything bad to happen to him. i want him to be okay. I do not know what to do. I feel like no matter what happens somethings going to happen to him by the end of the year. we can’t afford the bills for my mom as is. We can’t afford to keep him here because of how much money he takes from either of us. none of his friends that we trust talk to him anymore. ahhh, i don’t know what to do. i feel exhausted . i had one month of piece but i think im not allowed to relax for so long. im so overwhelmed

my moms meltdown last night was terrifying. her drunk and screaming and wobbling around. glass broken. I still feel adrenaline i think. i tried to take care of her, clean up the mess and get her to bed. Cut her off from alcohol. im tired. she thinks he’s going to die too. I know we both know it. I don’t know what we can do about it that won’t end up in hurting him or damaging our already fucked relationship even more. i wish our family wasn’t so small. if my mom passes it’ll just be me and my brother going separate ways, but if he passes too then i really will be on my own. i kind of don’t know what to do going forward if that happens, even if i have a plan. i wish i was someone with a much better life right now. Wish i had everything and a happy family lol

[sportsnet]

Tag game bc im bored and want to talk about myself (found it on my fyp idk) 1. Are you named after anyone? Not my first name but my middle name is after my grandmother on my dads side ! (its a jewish tradition to name babies after dead relatives so)

2. When was the last time you cried?  I don't remember exactly when but it was probably bc of a sad fic. Probs within the last two months?

3. Do you have kids?  im 16 so i would hope not. (dont like kids anyways and dont currently want any)

4. Do you use sarcasm a lot? according to my mom yes, according to me sometimes

5. What sports do you play/have you played? i used to swim, play tennis, and do gymnastics for years. dont do any of them anymore but all those years have left me with: a burning hatred for tennis, one silver medal for swimming, and the ability to do a cartwheel

6. What's the first thing you notice about other people? i mean. their appearance obvs? but also specifically the way they dress. i judge people a lot based off of that

7. Scary movies or happy endings? neither lol. hate scary movies, they scare me. and i like sad endings more i think theyre more meaningful (i promise im not a depressing person im just russian)

8. Any special talents? wouldnt call it a talent but my left shoulder is double jointed and it makes for a cool party trick when i twist it out of the socket

9. Where were you born? the U S of A

10. What are your hobbies? listening to music, obsessing over random people/characters/etc, im trying to learn how to roller skate

11. Do you have any pets? i have one dog !

12. How tall are you? 5'4.5 (YES IM INCLUDING THE .5 ITS IMPORTANT)

13. Fave subject in school? last year i really liked ap human geograpy but also french.

14. Dream job? if money wasnt a thing and i could do whatever i wanted id want smth to do with travel idk what but some job that takes me anywhere and everywhere but because money IS a thing then i could maybe see myself doing something in the restaurant business? idk why or what but yeah

15. Eye colour? hazel. specifically brown in artificial lighting and green in the light

im not tagging anyone bc i dont want to bother ppl but also bc no one tagged me so it seems weird to do so. but like. if you see this and want to do it like i did then go for it !

[zerobaseonefics]

so basically i applied to 4 in england 1 in poland and 1 in france since i dont want to live in germany anymore and yes im still fighting over my scholarship or something so its pretty stressful

NO FAKE SISTERS ANYMORE😜😜😜

valid reason. make sure to tell me about such things next time tho🙄🙄

yes i just had a lot of nail polish but thank you🤭

NO I UNDERSTAND YOU SO MUCH OMG LIKE NO CUZ I DONT WANNA SAY ANYTHING BUT CHOOSE ME PICK ME CHOKE ME STEP ON ME (im sorry) but real talk im so happy that you love enhypen and seventeen too😭🫶

IM NOT SO SURE BECAUSE IVE LITERALLY SEARCHED EVERYWHERE FOR IT AND I ONLY FIND FAKE ONES.. i think i eill buy the weverse version cuz at least then i will get heeseung or jake 👲

HSHSHSGSHAG THAT SOUBFS SO TRAGIC IM DORRY FOR YOU BSHSHSH IM word for not spending MONEY NOW FOR THE FACTIRY!!!

omg yes youre so smart like i didnt think about it😮😮😮😮 lovu so much u dont even know;;;;; i hate tutoring them tho they are so stupid

HSHSHSHA AND YES IM ALREADY TEACHING HIM WHAT YHE BEST MUSIC IS AND ALL THE CLOTHES HE HAS ARE FRIM ME🤭🤭

my heartbreak is magically leaving me now cuz youre so right about hes not heejayke🤪🤪🤪

NO CUZ YES LIKE HOW ARE THEY DOING IT😭😭 THIS IS SO WTF CUZ YOU ARE SO RIGHT AGAIN

HAHAHA I ALSO NEVER VOTE FOR THEM OR ANYTHING LIKE WHY SHOULD I DO THAT LOL THERE ARE PLENTY OTHER PEOPLE WHO ARE DOING THAT SO EHY SHOULD I??

YES HSHSHSGS ALL THANKS TO RICKY

I NEED TO LISTEN TO IT SHOW ME SHOW ME SHOW MEEEEE AND I NEED TO SEE YOU WAACKINH ONE DAY

i like big feet in shoes inly cuz it makes me feel petite😭👍 i have a shoe size 36 (eu) (at about 168cm height) (btw how tall are you i didnt ask i think) and i think that im too tall so i like everything that is bigger than me👲👍 btw i hate feet like they disgust me so much you dobt even know (but i like feet in shoes)

me so interesting and funny 😂!!😂!!😂!! everything aside::: thank you😜😜😜🫶🫶🫶 lovely to hear that icl…

AY FR LIKE HOW DOES JAKE LOOK SO GOOD WTF?? I FEEL LIKE IM DROOLING EVERYTIMR I SEE HIM.. not normal man

wait until you see this😂!!😂!!😂!!😂!!😂!! (btw 2 of ! mean the red !! emoji i just cant find it)

about 10000 pins with enhypen

WDYM THEY WONT LISTEN TO POCS???? BRO I HATE THE POLIVE THERE (btw in paris there was such a hot black police officer like maaaan bro was stunning)

YES TELL ME EHY YOU STARTED WAACKING I BEGGGGGGGGGGGGG🫶🫶🫶🫶🫶🫶🤍🤍🤍🤍🤍🤍🤍🤍🤍🤍🤍🤍🫶🫶🫶🫶🫶🫶🫶🫶

happy to see that you also love p1harmony!!!!!!!!! whos your bias???? mines are intak and theo🤭🤭🤭

ohhh that's so cool that you're going overseas!!! do you know anyone in these countries? (except for poland since u told me your family lives there)

BYE PURE STAND UP THESE ARE MEN YOU CAN'T BE DOWN BAD LIKE THIS FOR MEN

ngl i learnt that recently too 💀 but fr random things like that can be put on your resume, they also appreciate knowing you do things like sports or music, or caricative actions... so yeah even small works like this count!

LITERALLY THIS IS HOW I THINK WHY WOULD I DO THAT??? OTHER WILL DO IT ANYWAYS. plus im sorry i don't need to be doing all that for my favs like... they provide me music i provide them money by listening, i don't need to be giving them more..........

tutoring really is hell especially when you suck at explaining things 😭 you can be very strong in something but have no clue how to teach it, and you also have to be patient cuz the person might not understand right away.. yeah i hate it

here's my cover of over me!! it's with my big sister. just so you can know when i sing, i'm the one who starts the song and i have the deeper voice. she's not very confident with her singing and that's my i sing most of the song and do all the adlibs 💀

I'LL SHOW YOU MY WAACKING THE DAY I'LL BE GOOD ENOUGH AT IT ‼️ I'M STILL A BEGINNER YK

ofc i love p1h 🤭 my bias is keeho

[chamcourse]

They will know who it is thats sent this but im saying it anyways. I was friends with a few people but recently they all blocked me because of something that happened 4 months ago. One of the people messaged me about a comment id long forgotten and also no longer agree with on a cham about the fact someone 'didnt need more chams' cause theyd 'sniped' a resale from under me. (They could pay that day but i said before them that i could pay the following day but in all fairness, the person needed the money asap but i was still a salty bitch at the time lol). I was wrong to say that but my views have changed and im not like that anymore cause ive learnt that shit happens and its not worth it to be angry over some stupid pixels. Anyways, the person who messaged me about the comment then went and told all the others. Their response was to block me and remove me from 2 servers. I found what they (the person who messaged me about the comment) did very 2-faced aka telling me about the comment then going and spreading it around. But also the fact that my so-called friends didnt even talk to me about it before blocking me....But hey, i dont need 'friends' that dont see ive changed over the past few months. Just shows what cs does to people. I was a salty bitch but ive learnt from it. Ive also learnt that people dont give you a chance to see youve changed.

All this over some weird lizards

[florenceisfalling]

okay bye guys see u. idk. sometime soon? soon

[lankyledlights]

thinkin abt things

[just-antithings]

i’m a harry potter fan and i get **antsy** about it bc i’m transgender and the only reason i still, **i guess**, interact with the fandom is because I Do Not Control The Special Interest.

that being said, i keep seeing posts from people that are like “i don’t care why you like harry potter! i don’t care if you’re also trans or if you’re neurodivergent or whatever! if you like harry potter, you support jkr because she says that she’s any support of her works as support of her opinions!”

and i feel like i can’t be uncomfortable because i get why they’re saying something like that. i mean, her transphobia has very much affected the trans community, the community in the i’m in particular. it fucking sucks.

that being said, i don’t think its necessarily *that* black and white? idk, like:

1. even if she takes people being in fandom as agreeing with her, jkr doesn’t get a say in what opinions i do or don’t support. i am not a terf because i read fanfic sometimes. she and i don’t know each other. she does not get to say what i do and don’t believe based off of what i read or watch (and i personally feel like her saying that was kind of egotistical and presumptuous).

2. my “support” of harry potter isn’t even really support. i don’t buy anything related to harry potter and i don’t feel the need to. i don’t consume any new thing she makes, harry potter related or otherwise (to be honest, i don’t think of her as a good writer, anyways). the only time i even interact with content relating to harry potter is either on ao3 or tumblr or i rewatch the movies that were gifted to me years ago. she receives zero money and attention from me beyond that.

3. one of my favorite things to do, as a *~fan~* is talk about how much i don’t like jkr and why, how much i don’t like her writing and why, how fucked up some of the stuff she’s made is and why, and what i think could be improved about the series. i think some of these are important to, at the very least, *discuss*—like, i think it’s important to address her racism, antisemeticism, transphobia, homophobia, mysogyny, etc. because just *leaving it* isn’t helpful. the only people i’ve seen do that (though, it might just be bc of the content i interact with) are either former or present fans.

4. i feel like it’s a bad idea to just up and stop being a fan because she’s a terf? i mean. if you don’t *want* to be in fandom anymore because of it, that’s totally fine and i get that. but if every trans person and every person who support trans people just up and leave the fandom, the only people left will be people who don’t have a “side” and terfs, who love to spread misinformation and convert people to terfdom. maybe i’m wrong, but to me that feels like….giving them a space to spread their ideology. i’d rather just continue to be part of fandom and make trans related content (i actively head canon most of the characters as trans and i do incorporate it into the things i make).

5. i’ve seen some people use this as an excuse to be rude towards specifically trans mascs, for some reason? like, i saw a post (one of the “fuck off if you like harry potter” ones) where, in the tags, op wrote something like “idc if you’re transgender and tme shut up” and that’s….certainly a choice.

idk. it’s not really an anti thing but i’ve been having all these thoughts about it and i’ve seen them reflected next to nowhere so i’m having anxiety about still being a fan lol.

maybe i’m just missing something or “the point” is flying over my head but i just. i dont think i’m hurting anyone by enjoying hp and i think that taking out your (general you) aggression towards jkr on fans, especially trans fans, is a bit of an odd decision.

also, sorry if any of this post was weirdly worded or mistyped, i was a bit all over the place as i wrote this. i hope you guys have a good day.

.

[yakocchi]

My Husband, The Grand Emperor (VIP) // Completion

the event is not advertised as a Birthday Event, but i guess it’s supposed to be one in a way? idk maybe they dont want ppl thinking bday events for characters are a given lol. man… i saved up money thinking this was going to be a general kbtbb event. better than the usual nothing i suppose.

the content is like 80% “garbage”, 20% new stories. thankfully it’s only 30-something items and not like 40. all items are new and exclusive to the event, and completion also comes with a Eisuke POV mini-story

i will be very briefly covering the items after the cut if u r interested

please credit if you take any of this stuff! much appreciated (��ω･*) spoilers behind the cut!!

in the “definitely garbage” tier, there are the 6 VIP Room backgrounds, 3 CGs meant for personal use: a social media icon, social media header image, + an edited CG that’s narrow enough that i assume its supposed to be a phone bg 5 line packs for Eisuke (the lines he says when u tap him), and 5 outfits for Eisuke: the hakama u see in the wedding story, a silver tux, the black suit he wears in the wedding story, him in a crown, the long winter coat he wears in Season… 3? (the proposal season, idk the number anymore)

there are 3 mildly interesting “garbage” CGs:

the first one is a marriage form where Eisuke already signed his name. ure supposed to fill out everything else, which AHEM IF I RECALL CORREKLLIE that is inconsistent with the proposal season where it was the other way around and MC was supposed to just sign it!! literally unplayable

the second is an “Eisuke Schedule” where it details what he does in a specific week + a memo. the events imply that it’s the same week that occurs in Part I as it notes meeting with both families and finding a very good breeder for the rabbits. i think the latter is supposed to be what leads to their second rabbit (in Part I, they get a second rabbit bc it seems like eisuke might have been worried that Maron might be lonely) anyway most of that week is unsurprisingly just lots of work (meetings with others, administrative work, etc.)

third CG has the rest of the main cast (of the OG 5) make comments about what they think about Eisuke finally getting married. it’s cute but also just kinda w/e bc it’s so short

anyway, onto the stories:

there are normal grade stories for once, but that’s where they shoved everyone else. lol well if u like very brief banter, that’s what the stories are

there are 2 SR grade stories:

There is “Becoming a Family With Him” Part 4. LOOOL yea gl ever getting these stories for a decent price ever again i mean… it’s cute of course. kaito kisses a little girl on the cheek and MC is like :O while eisuke is like 😏 MC asks why he did that and hes like i did it so she would stop crying. after all, whenever daddy kisses mommy, she cheers up. nooooo so later shes like can u stop a bit with the public skinship since the kids are getting older. eisuke is like sure but then obviously later she’s internally like……… i miss the skinship tho. eito is like it’s fine, w/e makes u happy

+ obv the lovebirds fuc later. the skinship returns, fin

A Love Between a Married Couple that Could Even Melt Snowy Mountains: they go to Canada to go ski. he teaches her and it is cute. further shows he is moderately pleasant to the people he likes, it’s just that that list of ppl is incredibly small then a blizzard starts and theyre pretty much stuck in their lodge. then they fuc with her on his lap. yea hot mm if u like that sorta thing, the eisuke bonus story on hikaru’s otona love story is similar (where mc is on top). too bad it’s like… a $6 thing and it’s just a single mini-story with the main course, the hikaru story. hikaru story is still good obv but i know most kbtbb are usually single chara stans

there are 6 R grade stories:

POV versions of the SR stories: - Becoming a Family with Him Part 4, Eisuke POV ver. - Becoming a Family with Him Part 4, Eito + Kaito POV ver. - A Love Between a Married Couple that Could Even Melt Snowy Mountains, Eisuke POV ver.

My First Job as a Newlywed Wife (Eisuke POV): so since now shes the wife of a Very Important Guy, she has to do public appearances and stuff she appears on a program and everyone else watches her on the tv at the penthouse she praises him and obv she’s still blushy abt having to call him her husband blablabla eisuke leaves to go pick her up + he’s like be careful cuz u know, wat u say will affect the hotel’s image but inside he’s be careful, i dun want u to show those kinda expressions to anyone but me (literally “there isn’t an expression that you may show to anyone besides myself”) anyway it’s cute cuz he gets a little shy abt how much she’s able to gush abt him

Happy Birthday, My Dear Husband: well she wanted to plan a cute bday but then she gets a cold. so then he babies her a bit instead

I Tried a Live Broadcast of (the state of) My Newlywed Life with Eisuke: yea it rly does have this light novel af name im sorry

so he makes her do a livestream of their “lives” so they can promote the suites and stuff. not even eisuke is above doing it for the gram obv he pretends to be a sweet, nice dude so mc is startled abt how upfront he is abt saying ilu and stuff. obv she gets a reward for being all “i only belong to eisuke” etc. when the cameras are off. or so she thought

anyway thats abt it maybe ill do an extended translation of some stories but for now, i play the vidya gaem

as always, thanks for reading!