#anyway. the woman originally called from her car and my friend and i were?? bc we didnt know which outfit she was taking about

[inkmaze]

lazy outfit pics but a woman stopped me twice at the supermarket to tell me my outfit was very 80s and that she loved it 🤙 tbh I think it's just the jacket pulling its weight but still hell yeah

[zecretsanta]

Fic: Christmas at the Kashiwabara's

To: @miiversian​ 

From: @bookworm-2692​

I used the following prompt: the 999 cast hanging out together again for the holidays! (sans Ace bc… obvious reasons). There’s also bonus Nona and Ennea, since Hazuki is hosting the party!

This possibly isn’t quite as happy as you were hoping for - but as we know from VLR and ZTD, post-999 Junpei isn’t in a good place, so a bit of angst snuck its way in. I hope you enjoy it anyway!

Thanks for this prompt! I love the 999 cast, so this was really fun to write. I hope you enjoy it, and I wish you a wonderful rest-of-December!

AO3 Link

Summary: After the Second Nonary Game, Hazuki Kashiwabara hosts a Christmas Party for the other participants of the Nonary Game. They try to enjoy themselves and get into the Holiday Spirit, but as they’re still processing what happened last month, this doesn’t always go to plan.

———

Hazuki places the last knife and fork on the table, and sighs. It’s mid-December, mere weeks after the ordeal in Nevada, where she had been kidnapped and made to play some sick game, all to ensure the survival of some paradoxical girl’s existence. That same game was also where she finally learnt what her daughters had gone through nine years prior, and why they had returned from those nine days as shells of their former selves.

She still wasn’t entirely sure how she felt about the other participants of the Nonary Game. Two of them had caused the original game her daughters went through – Hazuki was free to hate them unreservedly, and feel gleeful that one was in jail and the other dead, blown to smithereens. Seven was the detective who had rescued Nona from the incinerator all those years ago – for all that he was annoying and loved to rile her up, she would be forever grateful that he had saved her daughter’s life.

Clover and Light were also victims of the first Nonary Game, the same game that Nona and Ennea had been kidnapped for. Hazuki felt nothing in particular towards them, other than pity that they had been forced to go through the game twice, and relieved that they had survived. The other set of siblings during Hazuki’s game, Aoi and Akane, had also gone through Nona and Ennea’s game as well. However, while she didn’t feel much specifically towards the Fields, she felt much more strongly about the Kurashikis, even though most of those emotions were conflicting and confusing. She felt the usual pity that as children they had been forced into such a cruel game, but she also felt anger that they then staged their own version of the game, endangering a further seven people (or nine, depending on how one counted). Their game however ultimately punished the four behind the first Nonary Game, with death and life in prison, and for this Hazuki was grateful. Nine years ago, Hazuki wanted anything to punish the culprits of her daughters’ kidnapping – now she had it, and she wasn’t sure if the price was worth it.

Then there was also the question of the paradox surrounding the siblings. Surrounding Akane Kurashiki in particular. Apparently, she had died on the boat nine years ago, but Hazuki had gone with Akane (and Aoi) behind every single door during the Nonary Game. Door 4. Door 8. Door 6. One of the Door 9s. She definitely seemed real behind each of those doors, and between the doors themselves. Somehow she had died nine years ago, and also masterminded the game six weeks ago in order to save her own life when she was twelve years old. This really increased Hazuki’s anger towards the siblings – that they would put on such a dangerous game, but then not even fully explain why, or how actions now could save a life in the past. Hazuki deserved a better explanation. But she was still glad they had ultimately survived. Probably.

The final participant of the Nonary Game was Junpei. Junpei, who had been friends with Akane when they were children, before Akane had died (or something. Hazuki had resolved to not think about that part of it too much). He had apparently not seen her or even thought about her for years, and yet now he cannot stop obsessing over her. He had immediately quit school to go find her. Hazuki wishes Junpei would just let it go and get over her. She was ultimately glad that Akane had decided not to be part of their lives anymore – she just wants Junpei to join the rest of them in moving on. As it is, every time she speaks to Junpei now, he’ll either be talking non-stop about her, or otherwise moping because she hasn’t gotten in contact with him yet. He had joined Seven’s detective agency, so Hazuki hopes he will be able to keep a closer eye on Junpei, and keep him from going further over the edge.

So, despite feeling conflicted or neutral about most of the others who had been kidnapped for the Nonary Game last month alongside her, they had all decided to keep in touch, and this evening’s Christmas Party was born. Since Aoi and Akane could not be contacted, they had not been invited. Junpei was devastated when he found out, although Hazuki is privately relieved. She isn’t sure she wants to confront the Kurashiki siblings about what had happened anytime soon, so knowing they won’t be here will give her some much needed space to process those emotions. Hazuki still isn’t entirely sure why she got stuck with the hosting job – until Seven pointed out that they were the two “most adulty” adults, and thus had the most established homes out of the group, and that his was a small flat since he lived alone, whereas her house was the largest because it was where she had raised Nona and Ennea. So here she was, setting the table, and hoping that tonight would not go horribly wrong somehow.

Just then, Hazuki hears the door unlock, followed by a loud “We’re home!” in Nona’s voice, and a smaller “With Clover and Light” in Ennea’s. Hazuki looks up, and indeed sees all four of them entering.

After the Nonary Game last month, Hazuki had learnt that her daughters had been kidnapped nine years prior in order to participate in an almost-identical Nonary game. Hazuki was shocked to learn that the morphogenetic field, pseudoscience she brought up to distract Junpei from whatever his funyarinpa nonsense was, was real, and that Nona and Ennea were intimately embedded within it. More disturbing was that their abilities with the fields were the reason they, and the other sixteen children, were kidnapped for that Nonary Game. Nona had met Light during their Game, and Ennea had met Clover, although somehow (Hazuki wasn’t sure she’d ever fully understand it) they were all aware of each other through the fields.

After escaping the Game, the Egyptian woman, Alice, had directed the car to the SOIS base for questioning. Following that, SOIS had attempted to track down all 18 children from the first Nonary Game, and offered them jobs. From what Hazuki could gather, Aoi and Akane could not be found, but the other 16 young adults now, all accepted the government job. Hazuki’s daughters had been reunited with their friends from those nine hours, nine years ago, and they were all workmates now. Nona and Ennea had thus offered Clover and Light a lift back to the Christmas Party following work that day, and now they had all arrived.

“Hello, hello!” Hazuki calls out. “Welcome to my home!”

“Hello, Lotus! It’s great to see you again.” Clover ran over to give Hazuki a hug, while Light walked over more calmly, and shook her hand.

“Thank you for agreeing to host us, I’m sure your home is very beautiful.”

“I’d appreciate being called Hazuki now, rather than Lotus, but you’re quite welcome.”

After Nona and Ennea each give her a hug, Hazuki directs Clover and Light to place the Kris Kringle gifts on the coffee table, where three brightly wrapped boxes already sit.

“I’m so surprised we’re the first to arrive,” Clover comments, “since it usually takes me forever to get ready.”

“It helps that we came straight from work though,” Nona adds.

“True.”

“Even so, I would have expected Seven to be more punctual – or even early,” Light interjects, looking thoughtful.

As if on cue, Hazuki’s phone buzzes with a message from Seven. He had told the group his real name after the SOIS questioning, since by that point everyone else’s was known, and codenames no longer mattered, but then Clover had declared that he would always be “Seven” to the group, and since he hadn’t introduced himself nine years ago when he was rescuing her brother and the others, then he lost the privilege of being known by a name (or at least, it would take at least another nine years for his name to sound like a usable name). Seven just shrugged at that, and said he didn’t mind the nickname anyway, and only disclosed his name to be fair. So Seven he still was.

Seven was texting Hazuki to explain he would be late, since Junpei was more unresponsive as usual. Junpei was extremely erratic when it came into keeping in touch – he would often go a week at a time before saying anything. Seven had taken to checking on Junpei when he didn’t respond to texts, and so he was giving Junpei a lift to Hazuki’s place (even if he, quote, had to drag him kicking and screaming).

“You’re right,” Hazuki announces to the group. “Seven was intending to be right on time, but he’s picking up Junpei, and today is apparently not one of Junpei’s better days.”

Nona and Ennea glance at each other as she says this, while Clover purses her lips and looks away. It’s Light who responds.

“Well, Junpei will be coming to the right place. We’re his friends, hopefully we can distract him tonight with food and jokes.”

Noises of affirmation heard all around, Hazuki sighs with relief as the conversation smoothly continues on. As a mother to children Junpei’s age, she worries about him. He rarely seems to discuss his parents or other family, or even other friends. His focus is completely trained upon Akane, and little else seems to occupy his time. She doesn’t want to baby him, though, and does her best to treat him as a regular adult, and avoids mentioning Akane Kurashiki whenever she can.

After about twenty minutes of conversation, the ringing of the doorbell cuts through and interrupts. Hazuki excuses herself, opens the door, and finds herself face to face with a grim Seven and a sullen Junpei. Upon seeing her, Seven grins, says “Merry Christmas”, and holds out his gift for the Kris Kringle. Junpei offers a small “Hi”, and Hazuki ushers them both inside.

“Ayyyy! They’re here!” Clover calls out.

“Junpei! What are you wearing?” Light says. “The colours clash horribly – I think it’s going to blind me!”

Junpei looks down at his all black outfit and scowls at Light but doesn’t say anything. Hazuki still chalks it up as a win – he doesn’t look as listless as he did before anymore.

Nona then steps up with Ennea following. Hazuki smiles when she sees this, as it has been their dynamic ever since they were small, Nona charging up and speaking for both of them, and Ennea being quieter behind.

“Hello Seven! And you must be Junpei. I’m Nona, and this is Ennea,” Nona introduces. “Nice to finally meet you after all these years.”

“Y- years? What do you mean years?”

“Akane mentioned you nine years ago. You were the one who told her about checking if the elevator was dry, to make sure we wouldn’t drown.” Nona steps closer to Junpei. “I was one of the four who went down the elevator at first, to check on Door 2 with Ren. Because of you, we didn’t drown. Of course we’d remember your name.”

“Of course,” Ennea adds, stepping forward as well, “we didn’t imagine at the time that you’d be an adult. But it was only weeks ago for you, wasn’t it? And not years, like it was for us.”

“And what on Earth did you mean by ‘boys don’t drown’? Of course boys drown! You idiot!” Nona flicks Junpei on the nose, and giggles when he takes half a step back, eyes wide and bewilderment clear on his face.

“Wh- what? You heard all that?”

Light smirks. “We didn’t hear your conversation, but Akane certainly repeated it for the rest of us.”

Junpei groans, and drops his head into both palms, just as Clover pouts and bemoans how it’s not fair that she didn’t get to witness that conversation, and that it’s not fair that her connection to Light is not two-way, like Ennea’s is to Nona. That’s news to Hazuki. She assumed all morphogenetic field connections were two-way, since that’s what she’s witnessed for years in her daughters. Hazuki raises an eyebrow and glances at Seven, who just smiles fondly at the others.

Ice broken, they begin to move to the table. The turkey is sitting in the middle, surrounded by various dishes, including a whole leg of ham and a potato bake. There are slices of cured salmon, meatballs and lingonberry jam, roasted vegetables, halved boiled eggs, bread rolls, and frankfurter sausages. Sitting on each plate are the Christmas crackers.

Soon enough, cracks fill the air as the crackers are pulled. Brightly coloured tissue paper crowns rest atop of everyone’s heads, and terrible jokes are being shouted across the table. The plastic items inside the crackers are looked at with mild curiosity before being forgotten for the rest of the meal. Long after all the crackers are gone, Junpei, Seven, and Nona have engaged in a heated pun and dad joke war. There’s a comment shouted over that din that the terrible jokes are supposed to end when the crackers end, as everyone digs into the food.

The clatter of cutlery against the plates begins to die down as everyone finishes. Hazuki is feeling comfortably full as she looks around the table, a feeling of satisfaction at seeing almost everyone’s empty plates. Junpei’s is still mostly full of food, and it looks as though he barely touched it. Hazuki doesn’t take it as a slight against her cooking, as Junpei’s appetite has been lacking lately, and mostly feels sorry for him. She doesn’t dwell on it though, as she doesn’t want to lower the otherwise lively mood – Clover and Ennea are excitedly chatting and practicing some of the ASL that Sachiko has taught them, while Nona, Light, and Seven are chatting about what each of them got up to in the nine years since they first met.

Nona glances over at Hazuki, then looks at Ennea, and then both of them get up to start clearing the table, telling Hazuki to stay sitting. Hazuki still can’t quite believe that the “twin thing” she had joked about all those years ago was real, and not just limited to twins.

“Ah, is it Kris Kringle time?” Seven says. “I’ll grab the gifts, you four stay put”

Junpei complies – Hazuki isn’t entirely sure he was even paying attention – but Light grumbles that being blind and missing an arm doesn’t make him incapable of helping, and gets up anyway to assist Seven. Clover takes one look at her brother, and stays seated, explaining that when he’s like this, he’d rather not have help either, so it was simpler to just… let him be.

Soon enough, the table is cleared and the gifts are in a pile in the centre of the table. Ennea fetches a couple of dice and Clover takes one look at them and bursts into laughter. She points to Junpei and says “no dice”, continuing to laugh. Hazuki smiles in wry amusement and Seven chuckles at this, when the doorbell rings unexpectedly. Still standing, Ennea goes to the door and opens it, silent shock radiating from her. A shout of “No way!” from Nona, before she leaps up and runs to the door.

Curiosity piqued, Hazuki begins to rise from her seat, when Nona says, “Well don’t just stand there, let them in Ennea!”

It’s two people Hazuki was beginning to think she’d never see again. The two people who orchestrated the entire game last month.

“Aoi? Akane?”

At the mention of “Akane”, Junpei finally looks up, and sees her.

“Akane? You’re here? Why?” Junpei is just staring in shock and disbelief – which is exactly what everyone else is doing, too.

“I’m sorry for turning up uninvited,” Akane begins, but Junpei interrupts her.

“Don’t apologise for that! I’m just so glad you’re here! But… why didn’t you come find us sooner? How did you know we would all be here?”

“We couldn’t come earlier,” Aoi says sternly. “What we did was not exactly within the bounds of legality, and we couldn’t be sure you wouldn’t turn us into the police. And if you start to do so now we’re marching straight back out again. I didn’t even want to show up here and now, but Akane… she insisted. She said we had to do this.”

“Junpei, I’m so sorry. I just. I had to disappear like that.” Akane tries to be gentle but Hazuki can detect a hint of impatience in what she is saying.

“Okay so you had to leave or whatever, that’s fine,” Clover interrupts. “But like, I know Lotus wasn’t able to contact you two. Because you left. So how on Earth did you know we’d all be here? Like not to make you feel unwelcome or anything but…?”

Akane places her head in her hands, and sheepishly says “I got it from Junpei, via the Morphogentic Fields. We’re still connected.”

“Wait… you got my location via the field? Why couldn’t I get yours?”

“Well um, Junpei… I have a bit more experience with the fields…”

“What she means to say,” Aoi interrupts, “is that she’s amazing at them and your abilities are non-existent. You were only able to connect to her before because she was able to reach across the nine years and connect. You can’t do jackshit on your own. She was able to read the invitation Lotus sent you, but even if Akane was standing in a room with flashing neon lights saying ‘we are here’ you would get nothing from her, unless she chose for you to get it”

“So Akane is able to spy on Junpei whenever she likes, and he gets no say in the matter?” Light asks quietly.

Akane says nothing, and looks to the ground. Junpei glares at everyone and no one. Aoi freezes, as though he hadn’t considered it in those words before.

“No… I don’t think that’s quite right,” Ennea pipes up.

“Yeah. We’re able to block each other out if the other is annoying us too much,” Nona adds.

“So if we don’t want to be connected… then we won’t be.”

“And since we know Junpei quit uni to search for Akane, he wants to find her. He opened himself up to her. She can connect to him through the morphogenetic field because, on some level, he wants her to.”

“No!” Junpei suddenly shouts. “I don’t want her to, to, to spy on me! I just… don’t want her to disappear!”

“I can’t block Light though.” Clover turns to her brother. “Can I?”

Light looks thoughtful. “Well, I can’t say I’ve ever been aware of you blocking me. Sometimes I don’t get anything from you, but I don’t know if that was intentional on your part or just…”

“So can we only block each other because our connection is equal in each direction?” Nona asks.

“But so was ours!” Junpei bursts out. “Back in the incinerator, I could hear her, and when I spoke, she responded! It’s like we were talking in real time!”

“She’s just that much better at it then you. She can transmit and receive powerfully enough that she could simulate that. I don’t think you can block her,” Aoi says. “For what it’s worth, I don’t get a choice either. She either chooses to give me something, or get something from me, and otherwise I can’t connect to her either.”

“I don’t want to be spied on,” Junpei repeats in a quiet voice, staring at the floor.

There’s silence for a moment, as though no one knows how to respond to that.

“Well, you’re here now aren’t you? So you may as well join us and sit down, right?” Seven looks at Hazuki in confirmation, and she nods. “Have you eaten yet? Yes? That’s good, I think we pretty much demolished everything here, we were just about to get on to the Kris Kringle game. Perfect timing for you to show up, Santa Claus. What have you got in your sack of goodies?”

“My. Name. Is. Aoi.” Aoi says through gritted teeth. “Yes, we did bring gifts, but stop calling me Santa!” He holds up two wrapped boxes, a cylinder and a flat rectangle, and places them on the table sharply.

“Is that another thing you stole from my brain?” Junpei retorts.

“I mean,” Akane begins, “it is a Christmas party, is it not? So gifts were an obvious thing to bring.” Junpei’s glare doesn’t abate, and Akane sighs and adds, “Okay yes, I read that on the invitation too. Happy now?”

Before another argument could get under way, Clover picks up the dice Ennea brought over earlier, and says, “Okay forget about all that. Let’s play! I’m the youngest so I should start!”

Relieved by the distraction, Hazuki raises her eyebrow and says “Sure. Provided you don’t insist on age order for the rest of it, and settle for a simple clockwise direction.”

Clover says “Deal” at the same moment that Junpei mutters “You just don’t want it to be obvious that you’re like the oldest one here or close to.”

“Oi! Just because you’re grumpy is no excuse to turn on me young man!”

Before Hazuki could continue yelling at Junpei’s blatant disrespect (how dare he!), Clover throws the dice down onto the table, perhaps harder than necessary, where they clatter for a few seconds before turning up as a one and a three.

“Aww,” Clover whines, as she pushes the dice to her left to Nona. Nona rolls the dice less forcefully than Clover, and ends up with a three and a five. She just smiles, and passes the dice to Light, making sure they drop into his hands. He rolls, and Nona cranes over to see what he got.

“First double,” she announces. “Two ones.”

“Wait, seriously?” Clover asks, and gets out of her seat to see for herself.

“She’s right,” Seven, to Light’s left and at the head of the table, says. “Snake eyes, huh? What are the chances of that?”

Light smirks. “Clearly I chose the right name for myself six weeks ago.” He reaches out and grabs the closest gift in the pile, as Seven grabs the dice and rolls.

The game continues. Doubles on the dice are rewarded with choosing a present from the centre, until they’re all gone, and then the players are free to steal the gifts from each other. Hazuki doesn’t miss how Junpei keeps on snatching the gifts brought by the Kurashiki siblings, despite the intermittent glares he keeps on sending them.

Soon enough, the timer on Ennea’s phone goes off and the game ends. Everyone stops to take in each other’s hoards. Clover has a pleased grin on her face as she notices that she has the largest hoard, with three gifts. Light and Ennea managed to snag two each, while Aoi and Junpei each have a single gift. Hazuki, Seven, Nona, and Akane all have no gifts. Ennea immediately hands one of her gifts to Nona, seated across from her, while Light offers one of his gifts to Hazuki, seated across from him. After a beat, Clover notices everyone looking pointedly at her, sighs long-sufferingly, and gives a gift each to Seven and Aoi.

The group then opens the gifts. Hazuki unwraps the small package from Clover, and finds a deck of playing cards. Hazuki turns to Clover to thank her, but is greeted by the sight of Clover staring suspiciously at a packet of chips, and then putting one in her mouth. Almost immediately, she yells at Junpei about the chilli flavour while simultaneously offering them to everyone around her. Aoi absent-mindedly takes a chip and eats it without flinching while fiddling with the three-dimensional puzzle he received from Light, trying to pull it apart. Next to Aoi, at the end of the table, is Akane with the mini succulent that Ennea bought.

Just then, a loud shout sounds out. Nona is holding what appears to be a Pringles can, but instead of Pringles inside, is a giant stuffed snake. Nona glares at Aoi, while he just grins and offers her a thumbs up, leaning back on his chair and thoroughly enjoying himself. She stuffs the snake back inside the Pringles can, closes the lid, and throws it at Aoi. It hits him in the face, dislodging the lid, so the snake leaps out again. Aoi falls off his chair, and glares at Nona, and then at his sister when she also starts laughing.

Hazuki tears her eyes away from the sight, and looks back at Light. He received the bottle of wine she had bought, and is sniffing it to identify it. He seems to sense that she is watching him, as he turns to face her and thank her for the gift.

“A joke book!” Ennea exclaims from Hazuki’s left. “And they’re not even good jokes. They’re terrible puns and dad jokes. Almost worse than the Christmas crackers earlier! Seven, why do you wish for me to suffer in this manner?”

Seven just laughs and holds up the notebook and coloured gel pens he received from Nona. “Your sister has just granted me the means to create even more jokes, and worse ones. Just you wait for next year!”

Ennea groans, dropping her face into her arms. “Just kill me now. End my suffering, please,” she jokes.

Hazuki laughs and looks beyond Ennea to Junpei to see what he received. He’s holding yet another book, looking between it and Akane and back again.

“What’s wrong with it, Junpei?” Hazuki asks.

“It’s a Sudoku book!” Junpei exclaims. “It’s like she’s taunting me about last month!”

Clover starts laughing. “Oh man. That would’ve been terrible for any of us to receive since we’ve all been in that incinerator – but especially you!”

Junpei glares again. “Akane! Did you do this on purpose?”

“Do what?” Akane asks serenely. “I did indeed exchange money to obtain that book… but I didn’t purposely give it to you. You kept on grabbing it yourself!”

Aoi smirks. “She was pretty sure you’d go for the one from her though.”

“Hey! Don’t expose me like that!” Akane turns in her seat and playfully hits her brother, before turning back to Junpei. “I’m sorry, this wasn’t meant to cause distress. You at least don’t have a time limit for any of these.”

Junpei scowls. “I guess.”

“Junpei – you’ve been trying so hard to find Akane,” Hazuki begins. “Now that she’s here, why are you being so hostile towards her?”

“I- I don’t… she’s just confusing! Why a Sudoku book? Why does she get to disappear and then come back without warning? Why is she allowed to spy on me? I don’t understand!”

Aoi leans over to Akane, and quietly says, “I think we’ve overstayed our welcome. We should go before we make things worse.”

Akane nods and stands. “Hazuki, thank you so much for opening your home to us. It was lovely seeing you all again one last time but it’s time for us to go.”

“Yeah, thanks,” Aoi adds. “Merry Christmas, happy holidays, all that jazz.”

“Wait.” Junpei gets out of his chair. “What do you mean by ‘one last time’? Are you leaving again? Why’d you come back if you’re only going to leave again? Why are you leaving me?”

Akane just looks heartbroken as Junpei keeps on talking. Junpei’s arm reaches up, reaches for her, but stops before touching her. Akane doesn’t look at Junpei, mumbles another apology, and turns around and back towards Hazuki’s front door. Aoi offers Junpei a final, “Sorry, man, we both wish we didn’t have to do this,” before following his sister out the door. Junpei’s arm continues hanging in the air where Akane used to be, before it drops to his side. Junpei bows his head, and Hazuki can see his body shaking, while everyone else stays sitting at the table in stunned silence.

Clover is the first to break the silence. “They’re… gone. Just like that. They’re gone.”

Seven gets up, walks past Hazuki to Junpei and grips his shoulder. “Hey man. How are you holding up?”

Silent sobs continue wracking Junpei’s body as he struggles to draw breath, let alone respond. Seven draws him into a hug, enveloping him and shielding him from the stares of the others.

“I think we’ll head home now,” Seven says, not releasing his hold upon Junpei. He meets Hazuki’s eyes over the top of Junpei’s head. “Thank you so much for your hospitality. I hope you have a wonderful holiday. Thanks everyone for an enjoyable evening. Come on, Junpei.”

One arm still around Junpei, and they too leave.

“Poor Junpei,” Ennea whispers.

“How did Akane change so much?” Nona wonders. “She’s nothing like what she was nine years ago.”

“The incinerator,” Light says. “None of us can know exactly what she went through in there.”

“But… she survived, didn’t she?” Clover asks. “She’s here now, we did the Nonary Game last month to save her life. So she shut it off. So it’s just like what happened when Junpei shut it off for us last month, or when Reed solved it for Ennea’s group nine years ago, right?”

“There are infinitely many timelines where she died,” Light says. “There’s only one where she survived.”

“But that’s this timeline! She survived here!”

“I still remember her dying. I remember her screams and I remember Aoi collapsing on the floor when the door opened and all he saw was ash. I also remember Akane surviving. I imagine if I can remember Akane dying, so can she. She probably fully remembers burning to death until she no longer existed. That would change a person.”

“I remember her dying,” Ennea mumbles. “Nona remembers her surviving.”

“Y-yeah. I think I can understand how she would remember dying too,” Nona says.

Hazuki doesn’t know what to say. She didn’t even find out about the first Nonary Game until she had already been through her Nonary Game, and even during her game she didn’t have the pressure of either finding or sending information through a, a, a pseudoscience! These four had that extra pressure, as well as being actual children at the time.

The silence stretches for a moment longer, and then Light says, perhaps a little too brightly, “This was a wonderful evening, Hazuki. However, I think we need to head home now as well. It’s late.”

Clover startles out of her thoughts and agrees. “You’re a wonderful cook, Lotus! If that’s what Nona and Ennea had growing up, they’re so lucky.”

Hazuki smiles. “Thank you. Happy holidays, and get home safe.”

“We will! I’m driving!” Clover grins. “Bye Ennea! Bye Nona!”

“Bye! See you soon!” Nona and Ennea chorused.

Once the door closes behind the Field siblings, Hazuki begins chewing her lip, worried.

“Did I somehow make it worse for Junpei, doing this?” she asks her daughters.

“No, Mum,” Nona says. “I think it was good for him to actually interact with people again.”

“Besides, you couldn’t know that Akane would show up, nor that that would affect him like that,” Ennea adds.

“I suppose,” Hazuki concedes. She still isn’t entirely convinced, but it isn’t just Junpei she worries about. Everyone who has been through a Nonary Game will carry those scars for life. They just have to take this one day at a time.

She wraps her daughters up in a hug, reminding herself that they’re still here, still alive. One day, this will all get easier. They just have to get there.

[asterekmess]

S3A - E7

So, I’m starting this episode right after finishing the last one, and I’m still kinda riled up from that bullshit. Let’s get to pissing me off and breaking my heart then. Blood/gore mention warnings for this episode.

Exercise your eyes! Read More!

Let’s just jump right in:

Starting right off with forcing myself into putting the tag in. Scott literally just listened to his mother say that giving this woman something to lessen the pain of her injuries could complicate things and make it harder to treat her. This is like an important medical thing. While yes, it’s really upsetting that she would need to keep being in pain, she needs to be able to identify and explain what exactly she’s feeling to the doctor who is going to be arrive really soon (though I have no idea why the nurses aren’t able to get these people set up. That’s what they did with me? I didn’t see a doctor for like an hour, but they didn’t make me sit in the fucking waiting room before dealing with the blood.) Her pain level will have a direct effect on how quickly she’s seen. This moment is meant to show Scott being soft-hearted, but with the doctor only ten minutes away, he could literally be making this woman’s life a whole lot worse by taking away her pain right now. There is a reason why after I was given pain killers for my surgery I wasn’t allowed to be near any heavy objects. Her pain is keeping her from irritating her wound. She could fuck herself up if she stops responding to the signals her body is trying to send her. This is not the right way to make Scott look kind. He looks like an idiot who doesn’t even listen to his nurse mom.

WHo the FUCK would keep driving with a bunch of bugs in the car? She’s not even on the interstate! PULL OVER IDIOT.

I’m actually agreeing with Scott on this one. I have no idea how medically accurate what melissa just did was, but it look pretty damn cool.

WHat the hell is this conversation? First off, Ethan, you made VERY clear in the last episode that you want to bite Danny even after he said no. Even if that was the possession talking, it was based on what YOU wanted. Danny’s not safe with you. Second, what is this bullshit about knowing Lydia is the important one? Important to Stiles and ALlison maybe. Scott literally never talks to Lydia. THIRD how exactly did you guys come up with that idea when you went after them on the FIRST DAY? You sniff him on them? cus’ if so your noses are damaged.

what...what is with this ghost car shit? She was in the middle of the city, more than ten minutes away from the hospital and behind the traffic caused by the ten car pileup. How did the car drive itself ALL THE WAY here?

Ethan. you’re an alpha. you have night vision. You shouldn’t need to ask what the fucking MOTH in the middle of the driver’s seat is.

HI NOAH! I’ll be honest. I missed you. You’re a really good actor and you just make me feel all safe. WHich is weird bc I hate father figures and I hate cops. Linden Ashby is just too good, I guess.

It’s so frustrating watching Deucalion walk around with humans pretending to be blind. Because he is. He is Pretending to be blind. He’s already proved like a dozen times that he can see just fine when he turns on the Alpha eyes. Which doesn’t make SENSE because Deaton said his iris’ were permanently damaged. He doesn’t have two different sets of eyes! And it sucks, bc they put in these little things that it would’ve been awesome to see if they included an actual blind person properly. The casual use of the cane, taking someone’s elbow and the trust that implies, and even this. Having (that looks like ethan’s coat) Ethan explain what’s in front of Deucalion, describing the scene to him.

DEREK YOUR SECURITY SYSTEM SUCKS. HOW DID THEY DO THAT WITHOUT YOU WAKING UP? WITHOUT CORA NOTICING?

Also, Cora, you look amazing, can you please be my friend and can I hug you? I love your shirt.

I HATE THIS BITCH. Fuck you Julia.

uhh....why is an English teacher filling in for a chemistry/geometry teacher? That’s not how substitutes work. Making a joke out of it doesn’t make it make any more sense. SHe shouldn’t be doing that, especially if Harris has been missing for a while.

So your office can keep werewolves out, but not darach? Okay, let me go full conspiracy theorist here. we only know Deaton saw the moths because we see it. He just tells Scott that he’s going to be taken. This is a story that Scott is telling, so he couldn’t know that deaton saw the moths unless deaton told him. Julia is currently teaching a class. Are you seriously saying she doesn’t need to be involved at all in order to do these kidnappings? She can just put them on a timer and let the autmoatic spellwork do the job for her? OR Is deaton lying about being taken, and this is just a test he came up with to force Scott’s “True Alpha”ness to the surface? JUlia clearly had other plans for her sacrifice. I don’t think Deaton was a ‘distraction’ to keep Scott from finding the actual sacrifice. I think it was Deaton using the situation to his advantage.

why does deaton have a canine acupressure chart on his wall? I’ve never seen a vet’s office have that. Does he do alternative medicine for dogs??

BOYD. ISAAC. MY BOYS. I can’t tell you how much I love this. It’s so sneaky and annoying and so pack-ish I just love it so much.

BOYD YOU ARE A GENIUS BOY AND I LOVE YOU.

I swear, like ninety percent of what the ‘adults’ in this show say is ‘go back to school.’ ‘shouldn’t you be in school’ yadda yadda. Like, they want so badly to write the teens as though they never have to go to class, so they just make them constantly skip and ignore that these are fucking teenagers who would never be able to get out of school that easily, and they handwave it with someone occasionally going ‘hmm, weird that they aren’t in school’ and then just ignoring it? Truancy is like a THING that you can get in major trouble for. At least Boyd and Isaac called in sick. You know how you could have avoided all this class bullshit? PUT THE FUCKING SEASON DURING THE SUMMERTIME DUMBASSES.

It just hurts seeing Stiles beg for Scott not to make him tell his dad, and then turn right around and admit that it’s not okay for him to let other people suffer just because it scares him that he might lose his only parent. Like, he walks into that sacrifice with eyes wide fucking open and it hurts.

I’m not talking about these dumb sex scenes anymore. I’m so tired of them.

OKay, can we talk about the fire alarm thing though? It sounds like a jokey kind of thing with Aiden teasing Lydia about wanting to leave during the fire alarm but... Remember how Lydia was haunted by Peter’s burnt corpse? How she can hear the cries of the dead, and how she went wandering into the crumbling remains of the Hale house? There’s every chance that Lydia remembers the fire through Peter’s eyes. I wouldn’t be surprised if she was forever freaked by fire alarms.

Man, Cora and Lydia, together? The sass involved? If I didn’t ship Allydia so hard, I’d totally ship Cora and Lydia.

ONce again, I wanna point out that AIDEN IS A MURDERER. Literally all it would take is someone Explaining to Lydia that he is serial killer and she’d never touch him again.

Cora and Stiles together? I’m loving it. I just, wanna point out that when Scott showed up Cora couldn’t have given less of a shit. But here....Cora doesn’t remotely question Stiles’ authority here. She immediately goes along with it and when he tells her to let go of Cora she does. Even though she has no real reason to. When she asks about the spirit board, it’s a legit question and she doesn’t argue or make fun.

PLus there’s the whole ‘Well do you know any spirits” which straight up just confirms for me that ghosts and shit are real in this universe. I trust the Hales as lore sources and Cora’s matter-of-fact tone is good enough for me.

jesus christ i wanna get deucalion and Peter in a room together and watch them just...monologue random facts and trivia at each other endlessly. “Lacrosse was originally played by Native Americans.” “Do you know what a metronome is?” Guys. come on.

Exasperated Stiles is literally my favorite Stiles. “We’re trying to save lives here for the love of god” “YOU”RE SOMETHING, OKay? JUST put out your Hand” It’s so fucking good.

Someone EXPLAIN TO ME how Scott learned to do fucking gymnastics. WHEN DID HE LEARN THIS? I hate this bullshit “I’m a werewolf, so I can do anything” shit. Especially since it’s LITERALLY just Scott they let do it. Everyone else has to actually do the work to learn it.

So...how exactly does Deucalion know where Deaton is? This literally just supports my theory that Deaton set the whole thing up.

ALSO, since I already have the tag I feel no shame in pointing out that Scott didn’t even HESITATE when he learned Derek was going to die. He immediately asked about Deaton. Yeah yeah, Deaton is a father figure to him, but if that’s an acceptable excuse for Scott to use now, then it should count as an acceptable one when it’s STILES” FATHER BEING THREATENED (but I digress, we’re not there yet.)

How did I never notice that Lydia’s Left handed?

andd.....how did Lydia know that? How did Scott know that? What did Deucalion say that even remotely hints at Danny? Scott doesn’t know about Danny’s paper...what?

Fuck yeah, vengeful Boyd. I dig it.

uh....why couldn’t allison just stand next to Scott in the closet. you know, like she did while he was getting in? Also, why was Allison hiding with him anyway? It’s HER HOUSE and HER BEDROOM.

um....okay, i know that we all like the sterek fics where they have to hide in the closet and one of them pops a boner...but I’mma be real, it’s a lot more uncomfortable when I know she broke up with Scott and they’ve been in there for like ten seconds. Plus there’s the whole knowing that she DEFINITELY has enough room to move away and so does he. *shrug*

Side note: Allison where the fuck do you get these clothes? THey’re both awesome and...kinda weird? Did you buy that dress in france?

okay, i’ll admit it, i do actually kinda like the camera angle through the map, with the blacklight lighting up the symbols (though the symbols flash on and off a little too fast). It’s kinda cool.

uh, how would taking the picture help? You don’t have the blacklight over it? None of the markings are visible anymore

why does Chris keep walking in and out? AND WHY DIDN”T ALLISON DO THAT THE FIRST TIME?

Stiles in plaid and Converse? Yes. Yes. please. That’s so my aesthetic I’m so fucking jealous. He looks COMFY.

This whole interaction is just so fucking weird XD

But like, why would Stiles know to go through Danny’s stuff instead of just asking him why he might’ve been targeted??

HOW WOULD THEY KNOW TO CUT THE POWER? THIS DOESN’T MAKE SENSE. Why does the ALpha pack keep showing up with way more information than they should have? It’s so annoying! It’s one thing if Morrell is feeding them information, but she wouldn’t have KNOWN about this! This was a good plan and there’s NO REASON the Alphas should’ve known what Boyd, Isaac, and Derek were doing! What the fuck?

....god i love Derek’s red eyes.

....god i hate that I know where this is going.

....god i wish he’d just let them tear her apart.

I know that it’s meant to be setting up the cora/stiles thing, but I love that she doesn’t hesitate to touch him, and that when she stops him it’s with a very quiet “stop.” She’s really gentle with him, which is just fucking nice. Werewolves taking care to be gentle with Stiles is like...nice.

Since when did Scott know about the plan with Boyd and Isaac? Since when did Stiles know? Is Boyd seriously texting Cora while Derek and Kali are fighting, or did he text her as soon as the power was cut?

is this the first time we see a werewolf bounce off the mountain ash? I mean, I think so, but we also see Peter in S1 try to get past some. There’s no glowing when he comes into contact with the shield. It’s the same with Isaac and Erica in s2. I mean...I guess they’re just trying to upgrade the ash stuff? I gotta say though, I kinda prefered when there were no special effects. It seemed cooler when literally the only thing making it work was belief and having this totally invisible barrier that Peter couldn’t cross. It was cool.

....i think i’m procrastinating seeing the end of this fight. I’m gonna fucking cry.

Why...why does Isaac turn and yell ‘wait’ to Boyd when he was the one running forward to Julia? I am confusion.

Dude, if Alphas could break through mountain ash barriers then Talia Hale WOULDN”T HAVE DIED. THE HALE PACK WOULDn’T HAVE DIED.

I wanna point out here, that this fight between Derek and Kali makes sense for once. Him losing makes sense. We know that the Alphas are much older than they look, or at least Kali, Deucalion and Ennis were. Aiden and Ethan don’t show up in that flashback. ANyway, Kali’s probably in her thirties or forties. SHe’s much older than Derek and she’s been fighting for a lot longer, not to mention fighting to kill.

Seriously, someone get my boy a quarterstaff to knock her feet away.

I really really don’t understand this stuff. Why is it whenever people (I mean Derek, because it’s literally always Derek) get forced to use their werewolf claws/teeth (because again I cannot believe this is happening more than once) he for some reason can’t just...shift back? Retract his claws and fangs? Derek has amazing control, he should totally have been able to do it. With the venom it made sense, he was paralyzed. But now??

What exactly was the fucking point of having Scott break the mountain ash barrier, just to have the sheriff show up and shoot Deaton down? That was literally useless.

also, Noah is an amazing shot. Hot damn.

ALSO. LIterally all this info about true alphas is being whispered to Scott when he’s all alone? How the fuck am i supposed to trust that deaton even ever said that shit to Scott? He could totally be lying about it.

WHAT KIND OF TOTAL BULLSHIT BACKWARDS ASS PLOTLINE IS THIS? After half the season being about Deucalion attacking Derek and trying to get him into the pack, suddenly “Deucalion isn’t after Derek, he’s after you” WHAT? THat’s the STUPIDEST LAZIEST SHIT I’VE EVER SEEN.

and to end my rant BOYD SHOULD NOT HAVE DIED. ARE YOU KIDDING ME? PETER STUCK HIS ENTIRE HAND THROUGH DEREK”S CHEST IN SEASON 1 WHIL IN HIS ALPHA FORM AND THREW HIM INTO A WALL AND DEREK SURVIVED JUST FINE. WHAT IS THIS NONSENSE???

Final Thoughts: No. No, no, no no, no, and no. The ‘plotline’ of this episode is literally like fifteen things that have nothing to do with each other.

Admittedly, there were a few nice moments. Cora, Lydia, and Stiles was an awesome trio. Boyd, Isaac, and Derek was an awesome trio. The sheriff? Amazing. Melissa? A fucking hero. Danny, a genius saint.

All in all, I’m going to tear this episode to shreds in order to rewrite it. Get fucked, Davis.

[usemeasabadexample]

Bechloe Fic: The Kraken Has Been Unleashed

Summary: Chloe has a way with her. That’s for sure. And, as uncomfortable as it might make her to think about it in this very moment, Beca’s starting to wonder just what that really means.

Set at the beginning of Pitch Perfect 2. Kind of canon, kind of...not canon. Mostly fluff and fun and maybe some very mild angst at best. Nothing too stressful. We’ve been through enough of that!

Read on AO3

Chapter 10

Beca's alarm wakes her up way too early the next morning.

Usually, she'd snooze the clock ten times, roll out of bed and barely have time to brush her teeth before running to class. This morning is different though. It's the first day of her internship and she wants to be prepared.  Wants to look professional. And she's pretty sure professional doesn't include a messy bun with sweatpants and one of Chloe's Barden t-shirts.

So she gets up early. Showers and puts on something nice before grabbing a bowl of cereal.

“You look hot this morning DJ. What's up?” Stacie ambles into the kitchen and gestures to Beca's outfit while opening up the refrigerator.

Beca looks up from her breakfast. “Hey Stace.” She swallows the bite she just shoved into her mouth. “Nothing. Just...won't have time to change before the party later.” The stool screeches across the floor as she stands and drops her bowl into the sink. “See you tonight.” She grabs her things and rushes out before Stacie can ask anymore questions. Stacie can sniff out a lie from a mile away so the last thing she needs to do is play a game of 20 questions with the house genius.

“Can’t wait!” Stacie calls out as Beca hustles out of the door to get to her first class on time, excited for what the day holds.

-----

Jesse’s car is rounding the corner as Beca walks away from her last class so she picks up speed. She doesn’t trust him. He has a knack for embarrassing her in public places. Not maliciously. Just...dorky.  

“Hey superstar!” Jesse shouts out of the car window as he screeches to a halt. He leans over the center console to sling the passenger door open for Beca. “Damn! Work it Bec!”

Beca practically sprints the rest of the way to the car. “Oh my god.” She jumps in and slams the door, frantically trying to roll up the window. “Please shut up.”

Jesse laughs. “Is that any way to talk to your chauffeur for the day?”

“Keep it up and it’ll only get worse.” Beca side eyes him and adjusts the radio.

Jesse always plays late fifties pop songs and while Beca appreciates all types of music, she can't sit there and listen to it for extended periods. Although it does give her ideas for new mixes. Chloe always loves it when she mashes up old school songs with new stuff. Her thoughts stay trained on her best friend and she wonders what Chloe is up to. Between the rush of getting ready and trying not to freak out, there just wasn't time to see her this morning.

That's her excuse anyway.

If she's being honest, avoidance tactics may have been at work. She feels like absolute shit for keeping the internship from the redhead but she doesn't know how to broach the subject. Under normal circumstances, she knows she would be excited to tell Chloe. But there's a lot at stake for the Bellas right now and she doesn't want to add anything else to the older woman's plate. She wants Chloe to know that she's there and she's present and she's going to fight for them because letting Chloe down would be the worst feeling in the world.

Jesse's small talk forces her to dismiss the thought. They talk about classes and auditions and their last hood night party the Trebles are hosting later tonight and before she knows it, they’re pulling up to the Residual Heat Recording Studio.  

Her nerves bubble up again.

She's excited and hopeful but she still has the weight of guilt lingering in the back of her mind. Jesse reassures her that everything will be okay. He reminds her that she's worked hard for this opportunity and she deserves this shot.

She gives him a quick kiss before running away while he continues to holler out more embarrassing comments. He's definitely a nerd but he knows her well. His goofy antics have calmed her down considerably and she takes a moment to appreciate his charm before charging ahead.

-----

The afternoon is a blur.

She fucks up her name tag picture, makes a shit ton of coffee and hands out a lot of snacks. She's nobody important here but that's not the point. There's a lot to be learned. A lot to be gained. This is her shot. It's her first step into the world of music production and she's looking forward to paying her dues.

In a bizarre series of events, her boss unexpectedly storms into the office and announces they'll be producing a new Christmas album for Snoop Dogg. The Snoop Dogg. It's crazy but she stifles her excitement. She doesn't want to be labeled as some psycho newbie on her first day but relaxing isn't easy. Between draining her brain for a quick idea on how to make Snoop's new album original and the exchanges happening between this Dax kid and her boss, she’s struggling to control her reactions. Her facial expressions always give her away and the one she's wearing right now screams absolute confusion because Dax is now high-kneeing around the room and this is all really fucking weird.

Thankfully, her phone buzzes and it gives her a reason to look away from the train wreck happening in front of her. She has four messages, none of which she noticed earlier. They’re from Jesse, Amy, and Chloe respectively.

She opens Jesse's message first. It's some idiotic, cheesy 'hope everything is going well’ message and she replies by calling him a dork. It seems like her go-to word when referring to him.

She hesitates before opening Amy's messages because she never knows what the blonde is going to say. It's almost always inappropriate and usually impossible to understand, but she opens it anyway.

Shorty! Where is our toothbrush?!

Yep.

What the fuck does Amy mean by our toothbrush? Beca refuses to believe the obvious. That Amy is implying (more like directly stating) that they use the same toothbrush. That just cannot be right. And even if it is, why would it be missing?

She makes a mental note to buy a new one immediately.

Maybe two.

The second message is almost just as cringeworthy.

Your acawife was asking where you were! You're gonna be in the dingo house tonight!

The urge to roll her eyes is too strong to avoid so she rolls them around before deciding she will not be messaging Amy back. She clicks Chloe's message instead. It's the most recent one.

Trip to Copenhagen is all booked! AHH! :-P

Beca chuckles to herself. She can hear Chloe's voice singing the message in her head. It's cute but it also makes her feel bad because they haven't even discussed the issue of Worlds and Beca promised she would be there for Chloe.  Yet, here she is. At an internship that she still hasn't told Chloe about while the redhead sits at home and plans alone all afternoon. She knows she's going to have to address all of this at some point but how? This isn't really her area of expertise.

Another message comes through.

It's Chloe again.

You okay? Haven't heard from you today! :-(

Ouch.

Beca wonders why she acts like such a dick sometimes. There doesn’t seem to be any logical excuse. Especially when it comes to Chloe. She's the last person on Earth Beca wants to disappoint but it seems like it's destined to happen.

She takes a deep breath and types out a reply.

Sorry Chlo! Busy day. I'll see you at the Trebles’ later!

It's vague and lame but she can't tell the truth and she doesn’t want to outright lie to Chloe so she hits send and shoves her phone back into her pocket as her boss storms back into the room. She straightens in her seat and tries to blend in for the rest of the day.

-----

Beca exits the studio, overwhelmed and stressed, and throws her bag into the back seat of a cab before jumping in and giving the driver directions to the Bellas’ house.

She leans back and takes a deep breath that vibrates her through her lips on the way out. She knew this business would be cut-throat but wow . Today proved how messed up the music industry really is. The people are self-serving and the pace is incredibly fast and it feels like the multi-tasking skills needed to get through each minute are nearly impossible to master.

She’ll get through it though. She has to. This is her shot to get out there and start making a name for herself. This is her dream.

Plus, she’s glad to have the first day out of the way. It can only get easier from here.

Hopefully.

Possibly.

Who knows.

She shakes it off and pulls her phone out of her pocket. She hasn’t had a chance to check it since she messaged Chloe back earlier. Sure enough, there are a few new messages from her best friend. Chloe has no qualms about sending Beca multiple texts in a row. Even when Beca doesn’t answer right away, Chloe will continue babbling without worrying about whether or not she's being annoying.

If it were anyone else, Beca would probably send a string of expletives and permanently block their number. But, like everything else, Chloe is the exception. She smiles and opens their text thread.

Okay! Can't wait! XO

I hope they have the green punch!

Please bust out the cell phone dance move! I love it!!! ;-)

So, a Legacy showed up to our door tonight to audition and we accepted! She's totes amazing and you're going to love her!

I don't think we are breaking the rules bc she came to us! Loophole! :-D

BTW, Legacy means that her mom was a Bella. Her mom is THE Katherine Junk! Omg!

Beca chuckles at the enthusiasm in the messages and pictures Chloe grinning excitedly as she wrote them. A wave of anticipation hits her and she’s overwhelmed with the sudden need to get home as quickly as possible. She tells herself that she’s just anxious to get home after a long day but she knows that's a lie. Before reading those texts, she was tired. Even considered not showing up to the party but there’s a new energy flowing through her and she wills the cab driver to hurry the fuck up already.

When she finally makes it home, she throws her bag down, uses the bathroom, and races through the bushes to the Trebles’ house.

-----

Beca approaches the party, surprised at how out of control things seem already. It's still pretty early but the acapella crowd clearly came to party tonight. She wonders what type of trouble the Bellas are getting into and smiles thinking about all of their past Hood Nights. They've had some wild ones and she's sure this last one will be no different. Especially if Chloe has anything to do with it.

Chloe has a way of making Hood Nights, and most parties in general, more fun than they probably should be. Some of them, in particular, stand out for reasons that Beca isn’t prepared to think about right now. Mainly because they involve Chloe getting way too handsy.

But she already said she’s not thinking about that and scans the crowd for red hair instead.

Oddly enough, she can’t quickly spot her best friend but she spies Jesse sitting up on the deck. And because the night has her feeling light and giddy, she creeps up behind him and grabs him by the shoulders before giving him a quick peck on the lips.

His drink almost slips out of his hands and Beca mutters a quick “oh shit” before dropping down next to him. She takes a deep breath, ready to de-stress after such a crazy day, but Jesse starts asking about the internship and about Chloe and damnit.

“Oh, she’s just..she’s like, locked into the World’s right now and I’m looking for the right time. It’s-- I’ll tell her.” Beca tries to shrug it off like it’s no big deal but it dampens her mood and she excuses herself to grab a drink at the tiki hut. Why did Jesse have to bring up Chloe and the internship in the same sentence? Beca already feels like the absolute worst person in the world and the thought of Chloe having to ask Jesse for her whereabouts just makes it even worse.

This sucks.

Beca takes a huge gulp of whatever concoction is being served tonight and notes that it’s not the green punch that Chloe was hoping for but she can't dwell on it because she notices there’s a really tall girl just standing there staring at her. The girl's arms are stretched out towards Beca and she has no idea what’s about to happen.

“Hi!”

“Hi…” Beca responds hesitantly, still completely unsure.

The taller woman rambles something about being sisters and then it clicks for Beca. She realizes this is the girl- correction- the Legacy, that’s been added to their team.

“Oh yeah! Hi. Chloe texted me that we added a Legacy. I...didn't even know that was a thing.” She lifts her shoulders and gestures with her hands as she speaks. It feels odd.

The girl giggles and keeps staring at Beca so Beca just chuckles uncomfortably and takes another sip.

Then another.

And they're both just sort of standing there awkwardly.

Beca gives a tense smile and widens her eyes, which finally seems to break the other girl’s manic look.

She slaps her hands to her forehead way too hard. “Ouch! Oh my god. I’m sorry! I'm Emily. By the way. Sorry. I forgot that you didn’t know my name yet and I think the others have already started calling me Legacy so it’s totally okay if you want to call me that too I just figured you should know my real name because I totally-”

Beca reaches out and briefly touches Emily’s arm to stop her rambling. “Emily.” She pulls her hand away. “Nice to meet you.”

Emily beams and Beca really wants to get as far away from this interaction as possible.  

“We can get to know each other better later. Right now…” Beca uses her head to gesture across the yard where she can see a few of the Bellas bouncing up and down. “Let’s go catch up with everyone else.”

“Oh!” Emily nods rapidly and Beca thinks she looks like a battery operated bobble-head. “Yeah, definitely! Let’s go!”

Beca nods once before taking a shot and refilling her cup as Emily follows her into the crowd.

-----

“Beca!” Amy is the first person she encounters.

Of course.

She is immediately picked up and twirled around by the blonde. “Where have you been? Oh my god! Have you gotten taller? No! That’s not possible!”

“Amy!” Beca kicks her legs and starts to protest the manhandling but she sees a flash of red hair as she’s being spun around and the words die on her lips.

She starts laughing because jesus christ. It’s been a long day and it feels like she’s been waiting to see that red hair for way too long now. She presses on Amy’s shoulders and frantically wrestles herself out of the tight grip, almost toppling them both over in the process. Amy strings together a few choice expletives and she can hear Stacie muttering something inappropriate but it doesn't stop her.

She bounces right up to her best friend with a smile so wide she thinks her head might explode. “Chlo!”

Chloe’s head whips around and when her eyes land on Beca, her face actually does explode into a display of pure joy. She reaches out and grabs Beca, hooking her arm firmly around the shorter woman’s shoulders to drag her in close.

Chloe's laugh echoes in Beca’s ear and Beca can’t stop her smile from growing impossibly wider as she wraps her arms around the redhead’s waist as best as she can and squeezes back. The scent of fresh laundry and liquor invades her senses and it’s all a little overwhelming but it feels good and she can't help but sink further into it. She lets her body sway back and forth with Chloe's as she breathes her in. Exhilaration and borderline manic happiness taking over in the moment.

“Beca!” Chloe pulls back but keeps her arm firmly around Beca’s shoulder. “Where did you come from!? Where have you been!?” Chloe’s mouth is wide open and the way her eyes are bubbling with excitement reminds Beca of a shaken soda bottle. The look is scary powerful and Beca can’t find it in herself to formulate a response so she just laughs like crazy and brings her cup up from around Chloe's waist to clink it to redhead’s before taking another sip.

Chloe’s eyes stay trained on her as she downs the drink and it makes Beca feel like a shot of Red Bull has been directly injected into her veins. It travels through her entire body with lightning speed and everything inside of her buzzes to life.  She crushes the cup in her hand as she continues to drink, eventually cracking it. Remnants of the liquid leak down her arm but she keeps chugging. The atmosphere and the energy of the party has her head spinning and she just wants to let loose. Have fun.

She’s buying time too. Chloe’s presence is taking her to another level of excitement and she doesn’t know how to quite contain it at the moment. It feels like the cup is the only thing anchoring her to sanity at the moment.  

“Beca!” Chloe swats the crushed cup straight out of Beca’s hand, the last few drops splashing out when it hits the ground and Beca’s eyes widen but she doesn’t move. Her arm stays frozen in the air, invisible cup still in hand. Mouth still open.

And Chloe smiles.

It’s that mischievous, self-satisfied smile. The same one she used after their shower duet so many years ago.

Beca won't forget that look.  It makes her shiver but she smiles back, hand coming back down to squeeze Chloe around the middle again. "You're going to get into trouble tonight." Beca tuts, pretending to be put-off, "I can feel it."

Chloe nods enthusiastically, apparently thrilled by the notion, and moves both hands to Beca's shoulders. It brings the two of them face-to-face and she leans in to speak directly into Beca’s ear. "And you are already in trouble for getting here so late."

Beca’s chest tightens as Chloe pulls back to lock eyes but she keeps herself together. "Is that right?"

"Mhmm." Chloe is still nodding, all breezy happiness and cool confidence.  

"Well," Beca shrugs, doing her best to appear nonchalant, "what are you gonna do about it?"

Chloe drapes her arms further around Beca’s shoulders, big blinking eyes boring into Beca, “I’m going to dance with you."

Beca’s hands involuntarily squeeze the redhead tighter, fingers eventually pressing into Chloe hard enough that she’s afraid she might leave a mark. She panics momentarily, not wanting to hurt her best friend, but then Chloe’s laugh cuts through the party noise and the redhead is dragging her through a crowd of people back towards familiar faces that instantly start shouting when they see the duo approaching.

“Beca!”

“Chloe!”

“Bloe!”

“What’s up bitches?!”

“Where were you guys!?”

Beca dodges Amy’s swinging arms as Chloe continues to pull her into the circle of Bellas but all of her ducking and dodging distracts her right into Stacie’s waiting hands.

“DJ!” Stacie shouts, squishing Beca’s cheeks and before Beca can react, Stacie starts moving in with puckered lips. There’s nothing Beca can do because one of her hands is still wrapped up in Chloe’s and the other is no match for Stacie’s strength so she braces for the onslaught coming her way, eyes shut and lips sucked in.

But it never comes.

Instead of sloppy Stacie kisses, Beca feels herself being pulled out of the taller woman’s grasp. She sees a flash of red and green and her favorite smile and she lets herself collide with the person reining her in. Hands squish her cheeks again but this time, she doesn’t even consider trying to fight them off. Instead, she wraps her arms around Chloe and returns the smile, letting everything around her disappear because Chloe leans in and peppers her face with kisses that match the beat of the song and the thump of her heart.

It makes Beca feel giddy.

Goofy.

Like she’s already had too much to drink but she knows that can’t be.

And really, in the moment, Beca honestly doesn't care what the reason is.

What the feeling is.

All she knows is that Chloe is here and everything feels perfect so she grabs on tighter and pulls Chloe in closer. Squeezing and laughing like a crazy person.

"You're insane! You know that, right?!" She's borderline shouting to be heard over the music.

Chloe pulls back just long enough to look directly at Beca. Eyes dancing and hands squeezing Beca's shoulders tightly. She mutters a quick, "mhmm" and leans in again, bright blue eyes crossing briefly as they come nose-to-nose.

It makes Beca chuckle.

"I know." Chloe mumbles the words and kisses the tip of Beca's nose.

Beca takes a deep breath and lets the tingling feeling take over as the beat drops and she falls into step with Chloe.

[itsclownhours]

merlin as tumblr posts again because when i edited a typo in the original it fucked up the formatting

everyone: you have to make time for yourself

morgana: *stays up until 1 am every night crying* me time

.

morgana: ohhhh so the pain is forever and endless i get it now

.

young!mordred: once i learn how to read and write it’s over for you hoes

.

lancelot, in cursive: i can’t read cursive handwriting

gwaine: what does this say

elyan: i can’t read cursive handwriting

gwaine: bitch me neither that’s why i asked

.

arthur, to merlin, about lancelot: is he...y’know…*gestures downard to super hell*

.

uther, straight: hey what’s up guys do you want to go get some food

arthur and morgana, gay: ??????

uther: oh sorry i mean asgdhjdhs guys do you??? want some food??? lmao ashdjdjhs

arthur and morgana: oh! agshdjjshsj yeah lmao agshdj

.

morgana: do you ever associate the word “girlfriend” with wlw so much that you forget straight boys have girlfriends

.

gwen: am taking care of a tiny kitten. have given it an excellent name. dad thinks i’m calling her “minty” but this is actually short for The Government

gwen: The Government bit my finger and pooped on the floor

.

gwaine: peak art is when you were like six and you scribbled all over ms paint and then carefully paintbucketed in all the different shapes in the scribbles to make “stained glass”

.

morgause: forcing my car to commit sins so it goes to hell with me when i die

.

leon, after arthur gives the knights a pep talk: so motivational...time to drill a hole in my skull

.

morgana: i want to be a she really did that!! kind of girl but i don’t do anything

.

arthur: pros and cons of being my friend:

arthur: pro: you have a friend

arthur: con: it’s me

.

gwaine, to lancelot: bro let’s watch a horror movie together...bro you look scared do you wanna share a blanket dude? if you wanna hold hands it’s ok. if you wanna rest your head on my shoulder it’s alright bro...bro if you wanna kiss that’s understandable that was a scary movie...we can keep cuddling after the movie is over it’s alright dude…

.

lancelot: old town road but he just keeps listing all the places he has horses

gwaine: i got the horses in the back

gwaine: horses on the track

gwaine: horses in the shack and i got horses fetching snacks

gwaine: i got the horses in earth’s core

gwaine: down under the floor

gwaine: horses in the store and i got horses on the moor

.

gwaine: died and came back as a cowboy i call that reintarnation

.

morgana: *shows up at college* excuse me will someone please direct me to the leftist brainwashing class? i’m here for the leftist brainwashing class

.

merlin: finally found someone i was more disappointed in that myself: the entirety of america camelot

.

morgause: customer (derogatory)

.

arthur: business major (derogatory)

.

leon: leonardo dicaprio date a woman over 25 challenge

gwaine: thought that said “leonardo da vinci” and was confused since da vinci was gay and also since you were calling out someone who’s been dead for well over 7 years

leon: well. da vinci has been well over 7 years, i’ll give you that

.

morgana: the retirement age needs to be lowered to 25. i’ve had enough

.

gwaine: i’m fucking in luigi’s mansion

leon: who?

gwaine: some italian freak

gwaine: oh you meant who am i fucking. your mom

.

leon: stop setting things on fire because you’re curious about what will happen. what will happen is fire

gwaine: but what if...something else happens. just this 1 time

.

morgause: bored? burn an orphan. who’re they gonna tell? their parents?

.

morgana: due to personal reasons i will be a serial arsonist

.

mithian: fruit (affectionate)

.

arthur: going to the fruit (derogatory) store do you want anything

.

gwen: fruit (salad, yummy yummy)

.

morgana, to gwen: i’m allergic to hookup culture and too weird to participate anyway. die in my arms

.

kilgharrah: i am fast and full of teeth. i will die in a barn fire

.

morgana: not evil anymore i want to be loved now

morgana: evil again

.

morgause: every day i put on my evil little clothes and do my evil little tasks

.

percival: megan thee stallion and timothee chalamet are the same age

gwaine: megan thee stallion 🤝 timo thee chalamet

.

morgana: hey how many swords do you have

morgause: sword of a lot

morgana: blocked

morgause: parried

.

morgana and gwen simultaneously in 1x10: *chanting* girls with swords girls with swords

.

morgana: the more knives you have the more valid you are

.

kilgharrah: blocked. blocked. blocked. you’re all blocked. none of you are free from sin.

.

morgana: seven deadly sins speedrun

.

gwaine: i want 6 pet sloths so i can name them after every sin except for sloth

.

merlin: the eighth deadly sin is networking

.

arthur: online school culture is constantly wondering if there’s a sneaky little assignment you missed...is it tucked under modules or assignments or heaven forbid, announcements? who’s to say?

.

gaius: asynchronous learning

merlin, a clown: mmmnaptime

.

arthur: have you ever just cried because you’re you

.

elyan, to percival: bro, we are teens . it’s ok to cry around me . i’m your best friend . i love you … bro we are kissing now … no don’t stop bro … bro …

.

morgana: mad bc i was told as the bride my wedding would be “my day” but actually where will be a whole other bride there and we will have to share it

.

leon: i’m disgusted every time someone does a gender reveal and it’s about a gender i already know about, what kind of reveal is that

.

leon: gender reveal party??? no, this is a gender repeal party. we out here revoking genders

.

gwaine: you’re laughing. i asked you who sings party rock anthem and you’re laughing

.

gwaine: make no mistake not only am i party rocking but i’m also in the house tonight

elyan: are you shuffling?

gwaine: everyday

.

morgana: lung extensions

morgana: with extended lungs you can: scream longer, breathe harder, brag about extended lungs

morgana: this procedure is not legal but i will do it for you

morgana: do not tell the police or morgause

.

morgana: i’m so sick of dna, i’m going to have all mine removed

morgause: good news! this is a real thing that can happen to you

morgana: perfect, sign me up

.

morgana: if YOU die because i poisoned you...how is that MY fault like i’m sorry you aren’t immune to my poisons i think that’s genuinely something you need to work on. fix yourself before blaming others

.

arthur: my body is NOT a “temple”...it is a CLOWN CAR and NONE OF THESE BITCHES KNOW HOW TO DRIVE

.

morgause: live

morgause: laugh

morgause: l u r k

.

mcdonald’s employee: please sir get off the table

gwaine: I ASKED FOR TWO LARGE FRIES *dumping bag of fried out onto the floor* BUT INSTEAD GOT A HUNDRED FUCKEN LITTLE ONES

.

merlin: i relate to vampires because i too must be clearly and specifically invited in before i have the audacity to try to participate in anything

.

gwaine: it can’t be september, just yesterday is was marchgustuary

lancelot: today’s date: [REDACTED]/[REDACTED]/20

.

gwaine: why are internet friends not normalized. it’s 2020 they’re probably making robots that will wipe your ass for you and i can’t text grace in the uk and tell her to have a good day? fuck you

.

percival: imagine if halsey was in beauty and the beast

elyan: are you insane like gaston. been in pain like gaston. bought a hundred dollar bottle of champagne like gaston

.

arthur: my dad is learning about pronouns/gender identity and he called me in the middle of the night to tell me he is cis

.

merlin: ough. those first 400 bites of dirt were not so good. maybe the next one will be better

.

morgana: i’m at the dark candy store, buying sorrowful ranchers

.

merlin: i’m surprised no one has ever punched me in the face

.

gwen: i want a gf so i can send her memes about loving my gf

.

morgause: oh to cook with my wife and stand directly in front of cabinets and drawers she needs to open

.

morgause: decided i will no longer be paying taxes. what are they gonna do, tax me more? go ahead. i won’t pay those either. oh i’m going to prison? the one paid for by my tax dollars? sorry, didn’t pay em. now there is no prison. i am at least 3 steps ahead of the government at all times

.

merlin: lab safety but the teacher just wants to you die

merlin: lab safety: 1. drink whatever’s in that beaker. i know you fucking want to

.

morgause: my therapist is selling her house so i’m gonna find the listing online and make her living room my zoom backgrounds before our next session. you wanna get in my head? ok well i’m in your home babe. i’m in charge now

morgana: yeah i see why you’re in therapy

.

morgana: i hate it when people ask me to “explain my thought process” like hell if i know

morgana: what’s going on in that head of yours?” nothing i want to be a part of

.

mordred: hey girls what’s the hot gossip what’s new what’s the 411

morgana and morgause: everything is bad and getting worse by the day

.

morgause: common letter greetings from 1889

morgause: dearest my-soon-to-be-enemy

morgause: salutations and i hope you enjoy contact prison

morgause: i hope this letter finds you in a ditch

.

arthur: *highlights all the wrong and unimportant stuff with full confidence*

.

merlin: i’ve tried opening my mouth and saying words before and i’ve gotta say, i’m not a fan

.

morgana: a large group of humans is called a fuck that

.

website: synonyms for blood: juice

mithian: thank you thesaurus.com, that is absolutely not what i was looking for

.

gwaine: gen z humor was single-handedly cultivated by the zoo wee mama comic and you can’t convince me otherwise

.

morgana: screw this it’s halloween now *turns into a swarm of bats them consumes the moon*

.

morgana: i can’t believe the heterosexuals are gone. they’re gone

uther: we’re still here

arthur: who said that

.

gwaine: no more france

gwaine: society has progressed passed the need for france

.

morgause: girls night out (of body experience)

.

morgana, to morgause: what do you mean “what have i been up to”...i’m out here ruining my own life as always bitch

.

merlin: stop complaining about your life. there are literally people living in camelot

.

arthur, trying to find new knights: oh so you’re a human? name three pictures with traffic lights in them

.

gwaine: we mcfreaking lost her doctor

.

morgause: looking for a wife in the walmart

.

morgause: arrested for visiting www.killing.com/murder

.

gwaine, to merlin: no bro this isn’t a date listen bro

gwaine: it’s bruhnch

.

morgause, to cenred: if you think i’m not interested, you’re right

.

gwen: put a pancake on a girl’s head when she’s asleep to keep her warm and safe

.

morgana: idk what mad scientist needs to hear this today but your goggles and lab coat are incredibly flattering and all your experiments will block away the scientific community who called you a fool

.

morgause: i’m gonna fucking die disease

morgause: symptoms: back hurts a bit too much for a bit too long

.

arthur: if you think i’m annoying now wait until i get over my fear of being perceived as annoying

.

merlin: sorry if i’m bothering you

surgeon: how do you keep waking up and saying that

.

gwaine: home depot needs more small tunnels for me to crawl through tbh

.

percival: hot tip: soup is customizable! go wild but know your limits

.

morgana: brains say “i know a spot” and take you to a traumatic memory from 2011

.

mithian: “can you multitask” yes actually i am losing my mind and chilling at the same time

.

morgana: quarantine schedule to keep you on track

morgana: wake up

morgana: neglect online school

morgana: yearn (ongoing project)

morgana: again!

.

mithian: if cats don’t want to be held like little babies maybe they shouldn’t be roughly the size and shape of little babies

.

morgause: fuck this pandemic i could’ve ruined 2020 on my own

.

morgana: a cute girl told me she has lots of plants in her house and i told her for some fucking reason “damn the oxygen at your place must be mad crisp” and somehow still got her number so. chase your dreams. nothing is impossible apparently

.

morgana: oh to wear a knife strapped against my thigh beneath a silk dress

.

morgana, running off with morgause at the end of season 2: i hate this place i want to go to build a bear

.

morgana, at work: i’m evil

morgana, 1 second after clocking out: not evil anymore i want to be loved now

morgana, the next day at work: evil again

.

season 2 morgana: i am fine thank you for asking! though recently there has been a darkness growing within me

.

morgause: *thinks about love* okay well i am just losing my mind and being insane now

.

arthur: you think you can hurt my feelings? i’ve been the least favorite in every single friendship group i’ve had since i was 8

.

morgana, staring out the window at arthur and merlin: look at them plotting my downfall

.

mithian: i wanna buy clown noses in bulk and start sticking them on every person i see whose mask is pulled too low

.

mithian: oh to be a tiny cat whose biggest concern is the looming threat of being gently picked up and kissed on the head

.

morgana: i deserve to be kissed

.

morgana: did you have a homoerotic friendship with a girl in high school that ended in tragedy and you two are never talking again or are you normal?

.

mithian: just diagnosed with forehead kiss deficiency :/

.

morgana: i think i’ll continue to wear a mask when this shit’s all over, and huge sunglasses. my face is none of your business

.

morgause: my therapist told me that sometimes when a person consumes the same piece of media over and over they may be unconsciously coping with a mental block so now i’m trying to figure out what the fuck i was going through that made me watch ratatouille 8 times a day for a solid month in middle school

.

morgause: opposite of depression nap. depression awakeness. refreshing the same three websites over and over. there’s nothing new on any of them. eight seconds have passed and it feels like a century

.

morgana: very homophobic that my head is not laying on the chest of my maidservant as i am drifting off to sleep

.

merlin: no no, it’s fine, i’ll text myself back

.

morgana: *pines* *longs* *yearns* *pines* *longs* *yearns* *pines* *longs* *yearns* *pines* *longs* *yearns* *pines* *longs* *yearns* *pines* *longs* *yearns* *pines* *longs* *yearns* *pines* *longs* *yearns*

.

arthur: i’d have to be a fool not to? being a fool and not doing things are my top two activities

.

gwaine: you think it’s easy to be me? you think it’s easy to get up every. single. day. and be an industrial grade dumbass? well it’s not. but that’s what i do. and i’ll never stop.

.

morgana: ah shit i’m sorry man, my schedule for the week is all booked

sunday: yearn

monday: pine

tuesday: long

wednesday: ache

thursday: sigh

friday: lament

saturday: crave

.

morgana: talents include: being a public menace, denying God’s will, petting dogs, yearning, being dramatic, witchcraft, quoting classic literature when no one asked, napping, befriending a murder of crows, being gay, covering up my emotions by being “the funny friend” when in reality i’m really going through it, wistfully staring out the car window

.

merlin: *doesn’t even do the bare minimum* all in a day’s work

.

cenred: a “period” is not an excuse to have an attitude

morgause: i miss the times when men would go to war and die

.

morgana: the cheap halloween vampire fangs stay ON during sex

.

gwen: maybe i pspspspsp’ed you because i love you. did you think of that? huh?

.

morgana: mom said it’s my turn to hand out the ominous and vague warnings

arthur: that wasn’t mom

uther: she JUST SAID it was her turn

.

morgause: i’m a chill person but if my back doesn’t stop hurting i’m going to take out my spine and beat God with it

.

mithian: one of these days i’m going to say the f word

mithian: then you’ll all be sorry

.

morgause: 3 words every girl wants to hear

morgause: club penguin membership

.

morgana: hmm, yes.

morgana: time to s i p

morgana: some *~crispy~*

morgana: d i h y d r o g e n m o n o x i d e

.

morgause: roll call! raise your hand if you’re in the following fandoms:

morgause: 1. suffering 2. the pain of living

morgana: *raises both hands and a leg*

.

leon: it’s so hard being a single mom when you have no kids and are a male teenager

.

merlin: yeah bro hit me up and we’ll cancel some plans sometime

.

morgana: my brain, or as i like to call it, the suffer contraption

.

morgause: my circle so small i almost cut myself off

.

morgause hyping herself up before entering any public area: i’m normal i’m normal i’m normal i’m normal i’m normal i’m normal i’m normal i’m normal i’m normal i’m normal i’m normal i’m normal i’m normal i’m normal i’m normal

.

arthur: today in french we learned how to say “what’s in the bag” and i couldn’t stop laughing because

arthur: swaggity swag qu’est-ce qui dans le sac

.

merlin: even when i am not speaking, know that horrible sentences are raging within me

.

mithian in 5x04: sorry bro i can’t go out tonight. i’m stuck in an eternal state of melancholy

.

morgause: shower gel label: immerse yourself in this new “Me Time” luxury frooty tooty. abandon all sense of identity and dissolve your memories into this soothing chemical broth. one billion melons are in this tube...use them wisely

.

leon, writing a headline about the most recent knights’ mission: local dumbasses knew that what they were getting themselves into and did it anyways

.

morgana: *feels random pain in body*

morgana: kill me

.

mithian: *slowly inches closer to your pet*

.

morgause: *refuses to look at texts* i love conversation and communication

.

arthur: cute gender neutral things to call your partner

arthur: significant annoyance

.

leon: the most unrealistic fantasy trope is the one where half of the pair works in some sort of shop and one is a customer because i have literally never thought about a customer with anything other than contempt

.

gwaine: why is everyone talking about 1d all of a sudden did one of them die

elyan: they’re 10 years old now

gwaine: i wish them luck 4th grade is tough!!

.

gwaine: must i pursue a career? is it not enough to be passionate about tv shows and snack foods?

.

leon, aroace: cool date idea: me eating oatmeal by myself

.

morgana: i have no self of steam

.

gwaine: i hate wearing a mask. i miss being able to gently kiss my trader joe’s cashier on the lips after they ring up my $8 box of blueberries

.

morgana: committing acts of violence today…*pushes morgause’s glass of water off the counter*

.

gwaine: mario will do anything to put a smile on your face

.

morgana: haha we get along so well...our brains just work the same way

morgause, after changing her entire personality to match morgana’s after analyzing the way she talks and texts: haha yeah it’s incredible

.

gwaine: covered in sauce, trembling

.

arthur: *says the vaguest most incoherent shit ever*

arthur: you know what i mean :/

.

[online]

morgana: *screenshots things her girlfriend said to her so she can read it again later* yeah i’m not gay

uther: dude no offence i don’t want to sound like an sjw or anything but if you have a girlfriend you’re straight. that’s just how it works

morgana: i’m a girl

uther: what the fuck

.

morgana: the second you say “family group chat” i know we are not the same

.

gwen: what if early in the morning after buying groceries we got caught in the rain and i used my jacket to cover your head ut we still got soaked and we made a fire at home and brewed tea and sat together watching the rain as our cats hid under our feets at each sound of thunder and we ate stew for dinner and watched tv until we fell asleep on the couch with your head resting on my shoulder

.

gwaine, to percival: hold my hand bro we’re crossing the street

.

percival: imageine if we all just started ignoring celebrities though

percival: i can’t stop thinking about how funny this would be. imagine kyie jenner posting a selfie and it gets 12 likes

.

morgana: this isn’t fun anymore i need a kiss

.

morgause at 1159 pm: life’s great lol

morgause at 1201 am: does anyone really know me? most importantly do i really know me? what if life doesn’t get better than this?

.

merlin: king i needbfjdjgnjfg qldkr snmsmdjgjt ….. .. i need--fjrjkrhgphpqn dd

arthur: huh *dunks merlin’s head back underwater*

.

morgana: i don’t go to therapy or take any pills i just rawdog life and let my brain turn into soup

.

mordred: dark emails

morgause: to whom it WILL concern

morgana: now that this email has found you

.

gwaine: hi waiter could i get the spaghetti i promise i’ll behave this time

.

merlin: the sexiest thing about me? everything hurts my feelings

.

gwaine: how is sex fun if i have to remove my crocs to have it

elyan: if he makes you remove your crocs for sex he isn’t the one

.

morgause: a motherfucker could use an embrace

.

morgana: every night after 10pm my feelings start crawling out, starved, as i beat them with a moderately large stick vigorously hissing “stay back” until i inevitably fall asleep

.

fanfiction: there’s only one room available…

morgause, who specifically chose a rated m and explicit story: oh my gosh there’s only one room they’re gonna share a bed what’s gonna happen next

.

morgana: i can have a little unrealistic romantic fantasy. as a treat

.

arthur: some of y’all weren’t asked out as a joke in middle school and it shows

.

morgana: how is everyone doing. i’ll go first i’m doing badly

.

morgana: being a kid was so fucking funny we’d just go around lying to each other’s faces constantly to impress each other one of the knights told me he was the first person to visit the sun and when i asked him what it was like to prove he was lying he said he didn’t remember because they sent him there when he was a baby and to this day the mental image of nasa launching an unsupervised baby into the sun still makes me crack up

.

elyan: do you wish you were seeing somebody

leon: a therapist

.

morgause: when you see someone from high school and they don’t recognize you that’s the exact opposite of the mortifying ordeal of being known. the gratifying relief of being forgotten

.

[texting]

morgana: you seem hard to kill

morgause: aw thank you

morgause: i haven’t been killed yet

morgana: to your knowledge

morgause: what

.

morgana: just truly bonkers how much i love lying down……..like being horizontal? Unparalleled

.

arthur: when i was younger i really thought that piranhas were going to be a bigger issue for me than they’ve turned out to be

.

morgause: filling out the depression and anxiety checkboxes at the doctors is always so sad but also very very funny

morgause: i am handed a piece of paper. i check off a box that says “every day i wish i were dead”. i hand back the paper. the paper and its contents are never again discussed.

.

morgana: unfortunately, due to several experiences in my youth, i cannot just “walk up and join the circle of people talking”, but it does sound lovely thank you

.

morgana: if california is so expensive why don’t you move to somewhere like ohio

morgause: full offense but i’d rather be dead in california than alive in ohio

morgause: ugly and uninspiring--review of ohio

.

morgana: staying up late not even fun anymore it’s just sad

.

morgause: everyone should be comfortable in their own skin :)

morgause’s brain: except for you

morgause: except for me :)

.

mithian: please peer pressure me into finishing projects

merlin: do it or you’re straight

mithian: i said peer pressure not threaten

.

morgause: the year is 2030. bakery art is so realistic, literally anything could be cake. the uncertainty has gripped the world in fear. i go to hug my wife for comfort. she is cake.

morgause: i sob in despair as i eat my cake wife. she is delicious

.

gwen: do ladies love stupid men or do they just love men who don’t exhaust every opportunity to feel smart

gwen: “i used to think that melancholy was a vegetable” that’s incredible, let’s hang out more

.

morgause: basically i accidentally listened to a song a few years ago and it led to this

.

morgana: *desperately tries to romanticise her homework*

.

uther: do i have to be pretty? is it not enough to simply be the loudest person in the room with the worst opinions

.

morgana: oh i can’t possibly study, i have allotted the next six hours to yearning vaguely

.

morgause: allow me to de-introduce myself

morgause: my name is [redacted]

.

arthur: i have no good posts today i’m sorry guys

merlin: haha “today”

.

mordred: “do we perhaps use magic because we were bullied and needed blah blah special interest blah blah” shut the FUCK up i use magic to see my anime husband’s big fucking honkers. sorry you got pantsed in front of your crush

morgana: i came here to bully people

mordred: is it because you got pantsed in front of your crush

morgana: no it’s because i’m deranged

.

mithian: pretty sure seven deadly sins is a bit excessive

mithian: just combine wrath and gluttony and make hangry

mithian: sloth and pride make Bottoming

.

morgana: despicable me ruined the word minion whenever i become a supervillain i’m just going to have to call them my homies or whatever

.

gwen: as a bisexual i am attracted to lanky boys with dark hair, girls who look like they could kill me, and anyone wearing vampire teeth

.

morgana: if someone tried to assassinate me that would make me feel so important and valued and beloved

.

gwaine: turn down for whom?

.

mithian: fact: usage of the word “the” has begun to decline. this is because as more and more people become educated, usage of the word “thoum’st” has become more common.

.

morgana, kidnapping mithian in 5x04: truth or dare? uhhh i dare you to………………………………..fall in love with me. haha i’m just joking bro………………..unless…………………………?

.

gwaine: my thoughts are like a clearance sale

gwaine: once it’s gone it’s gone

.

morgana: *pronounces “hors d’oeuvres” as “horse divorce” specifically to piss off morgause*

.

gwaine: do you prefer women or men?

leon: death

.

morgause: honestly no offense but i love falling asleep and sleeping. it’s like. ok goodnight

.

morgause: ngl it’s kinda difficult to be the moody and mysterious background character in everyone’s life when you’re quarantined at home

.

morgause: i need to get laid

morgause: --to rest. put me in a coffin, let my soul ascend

.

gwaine: it takes a lot of heart to be this stupid

gwaine: it takes real strength not to know shit about fuck

.

elyan: what’s your favorite anime?

leon: i’m a christian

.

arthur: just bought this tapeworm from etsy!

lancelot: where are you gonna keep it

arthur: :)

merlin: i don’t like this conversion very much

.

gwaine: i’m home alone with the tv repair man

gwaine: i’m no fool, there are only two possible outcomes of this scenario

gwaine: porn or murder

gwaine, an hour later: apparently there was an unforeseen third outcome where he fixes the tv and then leaves

.

morgause: well tomorrow fucking sucked

.

morgana: dark brunch

morgana: *mixes a mimosa with evil intent*

morgause: this is just what being gay is like

.

gwaine: movie idea: guy finds a stone tablet engraved with a mysterious alien language and gets caught up in a national treasure-esque adventure to decipher its meaning, only to learn that it’s just an alien “live laugh love” decoration

.

arthur: sorry i didn’t mean to open your ig story 20 seconds after you posted i’m just unemployed

.

arthur: why do you say men are objects? that’s not true and hurtful

morgana: men are on sale at the grocery store for a few dollars

OR

cenred: why do you say men are objects? that’s not true and hurtful

morgause: men are on sale at the grocery store for a few dollars

.

morgana: wow would you look at that. it’s already that time of the night where i move the stuff on my bed to my chair. can’t wait until tomorrow when i move the stuff from my chair back onto my bed

.

gwaine: hi i’m bethany with girl defined ministry and today we are going to be talking about how to stan my chemical romance in a God-honoring way

.

morgana: bottom: ,,, !!! ;;; vers: …. top: no punctuation whatsoever

morgause: tops are illiterate

.

morgause: i slept for almost 12 hours but i might still be tired so let’s go for 12 more just in case

morgana: morgause that’s a coma

morgause: sounds festive

.

mithian: i am a simple woman. i enter the kitchen. i eat four servings of bread products. i leave.

gwaine: it’s one serving if you serve all of it to yourself

mithian: i like the way you think, friend

.

gwaine: spencer from icarly and rodrick from diary of a wimpy kid are on the opposite ends of the same spectrum

elyan: the gay older brother scale

.

merlin: i found a rock :)

merlin: my troubles will soon be over

gwaine: parasite (2019) dir. bong joon ho

percival: uncut gems (2019) dir. josh and benny safdie

elyan: cain

.

morgana: social distancing is okay for me bc i’ve been touch starved since the 15th century. i’m used to it

.

mithian: fanfiction hits different when you’re gay and yearning and haven’t experienced an ounce of romance in your life

.

morgause: callout for rude baby seen at grocery store

morgause: i’m calling out a baby (approximately 12-14 months old) from the grocery store due to its rudeness. i’m guessing its age based on appearance, motor skills (atrocious) and whatnot. anyway, i smiled at this baby and it just stared at me. as soon as i began to move on, though, the baby said “no!” and started giggling when i turned back around. this happened multiple times. the baby’s actions were toxic and manipulative. the baby was also manhandling a package of dried fruit which wasn’t yet paid for (quite minor) and was just generally sitting around and not helping

.

gwen: we need to melt down all the pennies and make the statue of liberty a girlfriend

.

morgause: had a realization in a dream i just had that this isn’t real and i can just do whatever i want and so i started shrinking the face of this guy that was talking to me and then once it got real small i woke up sleep paralyzed

morgause: i was given godlike powers over the universe by realizing it’s all in my head and the first thing i did was use them to torment the nearest man

morgause: and the actual God woke me up and put be into a 5 minute timeout to lay frozen and think about what i’ve done

.

morgana: does anyone else feel an awkward tension whenever you see another person your age in the grocery store

.

gwaine: the number 87 kinda looks like a plague doctor

percival: you’ve just changed the fucking game

elyan: [|87

.

morgana: a lonely bitch...a loner...i love isolation AND detachment

.

gwaine: i will not call the judges “your honor”. in america we don’t have titles of nobility. they will get a simple “yes dude” from me

gwaine: calling big bird just “bird” because i do not respect him

.

morgause: *photo of a pizza in a bad* caught the bae sleepin

mordred: now why would you waste a perfectly good pizza :(

morgause: that “waste” happens to be my wife getting her beauty sleep. think before you speak

.

gwaine: *finishes wedding vows* don’t forget to like and subscribe

.

morgana: *is bitter but is also right*

.

morgana: how dare you not notice me when i’m ignoring you

.

morgause, killing cenred: men be like i’m bilingual i speak english and over women

.

gwaine: after i move i really wanna get a used roomba

percival: i love that you’re adopting instead of buying from a breeder

.

mordred: joking about a kink is a gateway drug into developing said kink

morgana: my kink is mental, emotional, and financial stability

morgause: unrealistic, settle for choking like normal people

.

gaius: gay people use halloween props as home decor year round

morgana: shut up shut up this black jar with a raven painted on it is holiday-neutral

.

[texting]

morgause: can you come out?

morgana: yeah gimme a minute

morgana: morgause, i’m gay

morgause: i know that. come out to the car

morgana: car, i’m gay

.

morgause: God FUCKING damnit i’m such a hopeless romantic one day someone’s gonna say “i love you” and i’m just going to let out an agonized scream so horrible that they immediately change their mind

.

gaius: i’m not wearing glasses anymore i’ve seen enough

.

morgause: sorry my battery’s on 96% i gtg

.

morgause: you hate me? wow you think you’re hot shit and original huh well i hated me first so you can go grab a number and wait your turn

.

morgana: don’t ignore me ?? i despise being ignored ?? i mean i’m ignoring like 8 people right now but still ???

.

morgana: shoutout to my favorite coping mechanism, isolation

.

morgana: the concept of physical beauty is a scam unless you’re calling me cute in which case it is valid, actually

.

merlin: oh, so when other people go outside it’s “good for their health” and “highly recommended”, it’s only when i do it that it’s a “containment breach” and a “high-level threat to public safety and security”, huh?

.

gwaine: a charming photo of young john mulaney, seemingly celebrating the kennedy assassination

merlin: princess diana wasn’t john mulaney’s first kill

.

morgause: hate when i got out in public and the public is there

morgana: it seems the public is no longer in the public

morgause: i’ve won...but at what cost?

.

morgana: girls will see a chance to commit arson and be like “sorry, i have to take this”

morgause: girls will see a building that’s not on fire and say “is anyone gonna burn that” and not wait for an answer

[babygirlizz]

Movies and TV shows of 2019

Okay so a couple or few years ago I did a review of movies that had released that year because I was super into movies that year. I am still into movies, but I have been watching a lot more shows this year. So, I will be reviewing movies and tv shows. Furthermore, I will be including stuff released this year, that I found this year, or that has a new season this year. Basically just anything that I have loved this year. Also, I don’t feel like ranking, so no particular order. Also, SPOILERS AHEAD - if you see a title of something you have not seen, and don’t want spoilers, please feel free to skip that section. Also, some of these I haven’t seen in a hot minute so if I get a detail messed up, we won’t speak on it. And finally, trigger warning - if you have struggled with sexual assault and may have an issue reading about it, either skip this post entirely or skip over the review of “Unbelievable.”

MOVIES -

1. After

I have been waiting for this since middle school. I read the after books on wattpad because what teenager in love with harry styles didn’t. Now I will be real with y'all. The acting could use some work in specific scenes, and some of the actors aren't MY favorite picks for certain roles, but I’m not gonna hate on actors. Ok so, Tessa (Josephine Langford) is an incoming freshman in college and is rooming with an upperclassmen, Steph (Khadijha Red Thunder) who has a friend named Hardin (Hero Fiennes-Tiffin). Steph wants Tessa to branch out and do new things, so she invites her to a party, where they play the stereotypical games, and thats when Hardin is kind of dared to make Tessa fall in love with him. ALSO, Tessa has a high school boyfriend named Noah (Dylan Arnold). She starts seeing Hardin, her boyfriend finds out, she falls in love with Hardin, and finds out it was all a dare. Buuuuuuut, pLoT tWiSt he actually loves her.

2. Avengers: Endgame

Ok listen, Infinity War was heartbreaking bc Bucky duh, but y'all are really gonna take Tony (RDJ) and Steve (Chris Evans) away from me? Shut up. Still, this was a really good movie and I’m not just saying that because I’m a marvel hoe. FRICK Thanos and thats on Ant Man. Thats literally all I have to say.

3. Annabelle Comes Home

I am a whore for scary movies. I love them so much and this one was *chefs kiss*. I love Mckenna Grace, she's such a good young actress and she fits so well in scary moves. There’s not much to say about the plot in this one, and ya really need to see it. Also, Bob (Michael Cimino) is so heckin cute what the heck.

4. Let It Snow

Ok this is a lot to unpack so grab ya snacks. Let’s talk about couple number 1 (of 3), Tobin (Mitchell Hope) and Angie (Kiernan Shipka) who are best friends. Tobin is in love with Angie but doesn’t know how to tell her, and gets lots of unwanted encouragement from his best friend Keon (Jacob Batalon) who just wants to throw a heckin good party, is that too much to ask for? So Angie gets invited to a party by some cute guy, JP (M and Tobin is jealous but goes with her anyways and they steal a keg for Keon’s party and run from the scary hosts of the party and end up stranded in a church after his car spins out of control. They finally make it to the party and kiss on the roof with the waffle town sign shining bright behind them. NEXT - we have Julie (Isabela Merced) and Stuart (Shameik Moore). This is kind of really cliche with the whole “he’s-famous-she-doesn’t-care-he-finds-that-attractive-lets-fall-in-love” aspect, but its also hella cute uwu. They meet on a train and the train stops so they go eat at the waffle town and go sledding and do a bunch of cute coupley shit. His manager comes to get him and basically tells her that nothing will ever really happen between them and he leaves. Then, he shows up at the party and they fall in love. NEXT- we have Dorrie (Liv Hewson) who is a lesbian that constantly struggles with the gay panic. Her best friend Addie (Odeya Rush) doesn't help much either because she's having her own relationship problems. Dorrie works at Waffle Town and when she's working the girl she's talking to, Kerry (Anna Akana) comes in with her dance team, and she's not out of the closet. A bunch of shit goes down, but they end up together and Dorrie learns that she’s worth more than she thinks and that’s all that matters. Also, Billy (Miles Robbins) and Tin Foil Woman (Joan Cusack) make wonderful additions to this movie.

5. The King

First of all - Timothée Chalamet and Robert Pattinson in the same movie? Sign me the HECK up. But they’re also historical, frick yea. Not too much to say about this movie other than it’s good. Super graphic (don’t watch if you don’t like decapitation lol) and super long, but good nonetheless.

6. Falling Inn Love

This movie is super freaking cute. Gabriela (Christina Milian) decides that she needs a change and enters a contest to win an Inn in New Zealand. She wins the Inn and is shocked when she realizes the Inn needs a LOT of work. She goes around town to get stuff to fix up the Inn and constantly runs into Jake (Adam Demos) and they have this flirty but we don’t like each other relationship, but then ya know, they fall in(n) love. 

SHOWS -

1. The Society

I could talk about this show for hours, literally. I love it so much it’s insane. Ok, so lets start from the beginning. A town called West Ham is being plagued by a disgusting smell. Due to this, the town decides to send busloads of teenagers to the mountains while they try and resolve the smell situation. All of the teenagers fall asleep on the bus and wake up to the announcement that they had to go back home due to road blocks. When they get off the buses, its late and no one is there to pick them up. They think that it may just be a sense of miscommunication, so they head home, only to find that none of their families are there, and they can’t get ahold of any of them over the phone. They finally decide to investigate and find that all exits out of town are completely blocked off. They then decide to find a way to survive without their families. This causes a lot of tension within the town including the death of a main character. This shows also includes gay representation!!!! This is my favorite couple, Sam (Sean Birdy) and Grizz (Jack Mulhern). Sam is deaf and gay and his brother, Campbell (Toby Wallace), makes fun of him for both reasons, and when the whole issue with the town happens, he believes he will never find love because he doesn’t think anyone else is gay, until Grizz comes along, and tries to learn ASL and loves him for him.

2. Roswell New Mexico

Alright, to be completely honest, I did not want to watch this. I have no idea why I just didn’t. I saw an edit on like instagram or something of the couples in the show and I was like, alright I can give it a chance. And spoiler alert I loved it. The series starts off with Liz Ortecho (Jeanine Mason) comes back to her hometown of Roswell around the time of her the anniversary of her sister, Rosa’s (Amber Midthunder), death. She gets pulled over on her way in and the officer that pulled her over was Max Evans (Nathan Parsons), who has had a crush on her since they first met, and just so happens to be an alien. After Liz gets shot in her families restaurant, Max uses his healing powers to save her, but leaves behind a hand print on her that makes her suspicious. She continues to investigate until he tells her the truth. She also finds out that her sister was actually murdered, and has the same hand print on her that she did when Max healed her. Turns out, his sister, Isobel (Lily Cowels) killed her, but it was actually another alien possessing her (which they didn’t know was possible when she killed her). When they landed on earth they also landed with their “brother” Michael (Michael Vlamis) who starts off the series with an on and off relationship with Alex (Tyler Blackburn) and I love them together. Alex is the son of one of the guys trying to find and take down the aliens and he also went to war and lost his leg. Anyways, towards the end of the season Alex starts seeing Maria (Heather Hemmens), which is a couple I don’t really like, but also bi representation is good! Anyways I don’t really wanna spoil this one too much I just love it a lot.

3. Elite

This is a show that came out in 2018, but they released a second season this year. All I’m saying is please watch the original version, not the dubbed over version. Elite is a spanish show about a few students that get a scholarship to the private school after their school gets demolished. This shows is in the fashion of present and past which includes a lot of flashbacks leading up to the the murder of one of the students. My favorite part of this show is the relationship between Ander (Arón Piper) and Omar (Omar Ayuso). Ander is the son of the head of the school and Omar is the brother of one of the students that got a scholarship. Not only are they of different socioeconomic status’, but Omar is also Muslim, and his family would not approve of him being gay. He finally finds the courage to tell his family, but thats not until season 2. Also, his sister Nadia (Mina El Hammani) falls in love with the “bad boy” of the school, Guzmán (Miguel Bernardeau) and starts going against her parents wishes as well.

4. The Umbrella Academy 

Y’all mind if I confuse y'all real quick. So, a bunch of women all of the sudden give birth out of nowhere at the same time even tho none of them were pregnant? Yea I know weird. Anyways, so this dude tries to adopt as many of them as possible and ends up adopting like 7. They all have powers and they try and stop the apocalypse. That’s literally all I can tell y'all. 

5. Unbelievable

I swear I didn’t mean to get y’all upset right now. This show made me angry and sad and so many other feelings all at once. So the show beings with a girl named Marie (Kaitlyn Dever) getting raped in her home. When she reports it, they can’t find any evidence, as he cleaned the apartment and made her shower. This mixed with the fact that she struggles remembering parts of her experience (which is common with sexual assault), the police don’t believe her and force her to retract her statement. This in itself is awful, but they also charge her with false statement, which adds on to the fact that people already believe that she is a liar. Years later, two female detectives, Karen and Grace, piece together rapes in their precincts and once they find the rapist, they find Marie’s picture in with his belongings, proving that she was telling the truth the entire time.

6. Sailor Moon

I just got into anime and all I have to say is that I love this. That is all.

[asinglebraincell]

Bella And The Great Goodbye

Okay ya’ll i’ve written the first part to this absolutely heartbreaking fic that’s been bouncing around in my head. This is my first fan fic i’ve ever written and i’m not that strong of a writer so bare with me! It is NOT a happy story. 

Major TW warning. S*icide, D*pr*ssion, Intr*sive thoughts. It’s a long one. Third person narrative because that felt natural for me. 

I maintain that this fic is less about Jacob and Bella and more about Bella herself. I didn’t want to involve the tribe anymore than I HAD to so they’re barely mentioned. I think that EdBella are the end game that makes sense bc they’re just as awful to those around them and deserve each other. 

I’ve placed it two years after her 18th birthday. Her and Jake are in a relationship but it’s not going well. Bella has her own apartment in Forks, goes to the community college near there and works at the Newton’s store. We pick up after one of Jacob and Bella’s fights. I hope you enjoy it and if you read it and hate it please let me know.  If this triggers you in anyway and need to talk, please reach out. I’ve taken quite a lot of Bella’s depression from my own. 

I hope you enjoy! 

What rotten luck, Jacob thought as his VW rabbit stopped dead in the middle of the road. This day just gets better and better. First I spend hours fighting with Bella and now my car dies?

Jacob had been having a very unpleasant day. He kept his anger under control with Bella earlier. It was hard but he knew that he couldn’t lose control around her. So he fought to keep the anger from exploding out of him. He felt even angrier now. And since no one was around he could blow off some steam at least.

He jumped out of his car after putting it in neutral and began pushing the rust bucket to the side of the road. He engaged the e-brake after putting it into park, just in case. It wouldn’t hurt him too bad if the car started rolling but he couldn’t bear the thought of his baby getting hurt. He popped the hood and began trying to figure out what was wrong now. He couldn’t afford a new part so hopefully, it wasn’t something major.

He had just begun his diagnostics when he heard someone clear their throat.

He wasn’t paying attention to who it was, just that they were human. He had noticed the sound of the engine that pulled up in front of him but he wasn’t paying attention. He turned around and didn’t have to look down to find their eyes. The slight but well-muscled woman grinned at him. She had a round face with high wide cheekbones. She had freckles lightly covering her nose and cheeks, they weren’t super noticeable as her skin was as dark as his own and they were just a shade or two lighter. She had her wildly curly black hair pulled back into a bun with a cotton strip. She smelled like car grease and sandalwood.  As he met her gaze, he felt something.

Like the whole world had a big red curtain in front of it and it was suddenly ripped away. The strings that held him where he was suddenly shifted like he was a puppet or something. He felt the pull this stranger had on the strings. Not that she was controlling him, but that she was helping him move. Holding his hand almost to help guide him through life. The fact that she was a stranger made Jacob feel uneasy.  His wolf told him that this stranger was the only person in the world he could ever want or need. The strings that tied him to the pack shifted too. They used to be the strongest bond he had. Not anymore. Suddenly, he would fight his pack family for this woman.

He knew from Sam’s internal thoughts about Emily that he had imprinted on this poor unsuspecting woman. Oh crap! He thought ruefully.

“ Uh Oh! Looks like your wabbit needs a carrot!” The woman said, “I’m Cass. Do you need a hand?”

“ I think she’s a lost cause for right now. Thanks, though.” He said with a returning smile. Jake was never really formal but he reached his hand out to shake hers, “I’m Jacob.”

“I can take a look if you’d like. I’m sort of an amateur VW mechanic.”

“By all means. I’m not sure what you’d find. I rebuilt her myself so it’s not up to original manufacturer quality.” He said apologetically while he stepping out of her way. She just laughed. What a laugh Jacob thought. And then he mentally kicked himself for being weird.

“Then I’m sure I’ll probably find a lot wrong.” She said as she looked under the hood.

Just as Jacob had said she couldn’t track down the issue from a glance but offered to drive him wherever he needed to go. They spent the short car ride to Jacob’s house chatting about cars. She gave him a card of a guy she knew with a tow truck. She had written her phone number on the back of the card in case they needed to swap parts sometime soon.

When he was sure she was out of sight, he phased. Desperate to figure out what the hell to do.

Bella knew something was wrong. She could feel it. Jacob was slipping away from her and she couldn’t stop it. They’d be on the rocks lately and she knew it was her fault. Jacob had left in such a fuss that she wasn’t sure where they stood. The hole in her chest felt bigger, threatening to give way at any moment.

He was sure that she was overreacting, as usual. But that didn’t do anything to calm her down. Just made her mad. She had spent the last few hours replaying their argument. He had been getting tired of her insecurities. And there were a lot. She felt guilty because she knew Jake deserved better. And that he needed to walk away. But he wouldn’t give up on her. And she needed him more than she admitted. He filled the hole in her chest for a while. It wasn’t a perfect fit and things slipped through often but she felt more whole than she ever had without Jake. She had once told him that she wasn’t a car he could just fix-up. He seemed to beg to differ.

When it seemed late enough that he wouldn’t call, she went to bed. Slipping on a t-shirt he left on the back of the small chair in her apartment’s living room. It made her feel a little better. Like the Jake she loved was there. Not the Jake she had forced him to be. She tried not to cry but it was hard.

She felt a little bit worse for wear the next day. Jake still hadn’t called her. She wouldn’t call him first, she was hurt by him being so quick to dismiss her feelings. Her worry over losing him turned to anger at herself. She was pushing him too hard. She knew she was. But she didn’t know how to stop it. She felt desperate to fix it all. She didn’t have work today so she had time to focus on her pain and let it simmer for a while.  

At around 2:30 in the afternoon, she heard a knock on the door. Knowing it was Jake by the type of knock. They had made a system for which knock he would use so she would know who it was. She had a bout of paranoia when she first moved into this apartment.

She was still in bed and hadn’t bothered to lock the front door last night. Even if Jake didn’t have a key, he could’ve gotten in.

She heard his footsteps get louder as he walked down the hallway to her little bedroom. She covered her head with the blanket. Childishly to not see his face.

“Bells? Come out from under there.” Jake said with a tone she hadn’t ever heard him use before. It was so..formal. It made her shudder as she thought about who that tone reminded her of.

She peeked out from her cocoon at him. He was standing next to her bed, jacket still on. That was a bad sign. He wasn’t planning on staying long. She had to fight the urge to hide further under the covers. This was the bad feeling she’d had yesterday. Her instincts for pain and heartbreak had warned her.

She sat up and didn’t look at him. Choosing to try to find patterns in the quilt she had gotten from Renee last Christmas.

“I need to talk to you.” He said. That formal tone was still there, but there was sadness now.

“Go ahead.” She said just above a whisper. The pain coated her throat and it came out rougher than she intended. He sat next to her on the bed then and hugged her.

“So….you know that miserable and crazy way Sam and Emily got together?” He said with a lot more sadness and anger bleeding through the calm and formal façade. Bella’s stomach dropped. She knew exactly what he was getting at. Imprinting wasn’t something to be ignored. It was too powerful. She suddenly felt a lot of..pain for Leah that she hadn’t before. She knew the story. Sam and Leah were high school sweethearts until her cousin Emily came to visit.

She felt the hole break wide open. She fought hard against the overwhelming pain. Tears welled up in her eyes but she held them back. Because she knew. It wasn’t his fault he had found his person. It’s not his fault that he was just another person to leave her.

“Bella listen to me, please. This doesn’t mean I’m going to just leave and never come back. I’ll still be here for you. I just…nothing makes any sense right now. I don’t know how to explain.” He hurried through the words to comfort her.

“She’s the one for you…I understand. It’s not your fault. Just hurts that I’m not the one. I’m…happy for you.” The tears threatened again and she won against them again. If this was her goodbye to her second love, she would make sure he could go be happy without a fight. They’d done enough fighting.

“It hurts me too. I don’t want to have to do this. I don’t want to hurt you like this. I know you need me. I love you, Bells. I do.” Jacob said quietly as tears rolled down his face.

“S’not the same, though, Jake. I know. The pack explained it pretty well. And I know you won’t just leave my life entirely. You’re still my best friend no matter what.” She said with her zombie Bella tone. She hadn’t had to use the false inflection in over a year. Thanks to Jacob.

He kissed her softly. His and her tears made the kiss wet. It was like the tears were dissolving her tie to him in this way. When he pulled away she could see the pain this had caused him too. She reached out to put her hand on his face.

“Don’t worry about me, Jake. Just be happy. It’ll make me happy to see it. I know I haven’t been making you happy for a long time.” She said sternly

“Bella, that’s not true. I’ve been happy with you. Being your boyfriend was every teenage boy’s dream.” She cringed, knowing it was a lie. It was most definitely not a dream.

“Is that all you needed to talk about?” She said ignoring his attempt to make her feel better.

“I don’t suppose you’d wanna know about her, huh?” He said as he stood up.

“I need time, Jake.” She said with pain marking her entire body. She couldn’t hide it anymore. She had given him up without a fight. She could wallow in her pain now.

He left without another word. She thought it was because he knew she needed time alone. It still hurt him to leave her hurting like that. But he was the one doing the hurting.

Bella seemed to lose track of the days after that. Just barely registering anything that was happening. She had been going through the motions of work and school. Her college workload was light and she only met once a month in person at the tiny community college in Forks. She stopped registering the passage of time again. Just like when…she couldn’t allow herself to think about them. She would surely just end it all then if she did.

Bella had gotten better at hiding her pain. She didn’t want to be the cause of any worry. She was tired of being around anyone. But she put on the almost perfect façade of a happier Bella for Charlie and Jacob.Their friendship was hard at first. Jacob was constantly with Cass and he didn’t want to flaunt this in her face. But they found a healthier rhythm and she even met Cass a few times.

It made Bella happy to see Jake happy. Cass was the perfect person for him. She was an amateur mechanic like he was. She was warm and friendly and made Bella comfortable to be around. Like she had found another human sun. They fit together so much more than he and Bella had. He looked so happy that it hadn’t hurt Bella as much anymore. They drifted more and more as he spent more and more time with Cassie. Bella found it hard to be nice to either of them as time went on. She started getting angrier with their constant optimism. She started declining their invitations places so she wouldn’t have to deal with this newfound aggression towards them. She was just bitter that they were able to be with their soulmate, at least that’s what she told herself.

One day after work as she was driving home, she found herself just driving aimlessly at first. Until she found herself at the spot she and Jake went cliff diving at early on in their relationship. She shivered as she remembered the first few months with Jake. The happiest she had felt in a while. She didn’t get out, though the urge to cliff jump was strong. The adrenaline rush was something she became more addicted too as their relationship blossomed and her depression manifested in ugly ways. Jacob had put a stop to the more death-defying stuns she tried to pull. She got hurt too easily and he persuaded her to try other things that were just as fun.

She turned back down the narrow road to the main highway and drove home. She couldn’t allow herself to remember the happier times because she knew that there wouldn’t be any more for her.

She had resigned herself to being alone and barely human again. She didn’t live with Charlie anymore and only saw him now and then. She hadn’t remembered the last time she spoke with her mother. She didn’t care that she couldn’t remember. Renee was happy with Phil that’s all that mattered. She didn’t have to pretend to be anything at home. She could scream, she could cry, she could die and no one would know for a while. Her neighbors had gotten used to her nightmares.

Die. A small voice broke through to the forefront of Bella’s mind. The small voice turned louder as she got closer to her little apartment. It seemed like it was screaming at her as she walked through her door.

This was new. She didn’t have intrusive thoughts before. Maybe it was a sign. She had finally snapped.

She took three long looks around the small living room. There wasn’t anything left. Nothing keeping her here. She didn’t want anything anymore. She couldn’t even bring herself to read anymore. Her books sat in piles around the wood bookcase in her living room collecting dust. Her favorite stories couldn’t take her away anymore. She couldn’t bury herself in the worlds she had once reached out to for comfort in her young life.

The agony of living and being constantly reminded that she wasn’t good enough to be in anyone’s life was too much. She couldn’t find her place anywhere. It used to not bother her but as she got older, she realized the reason she couldn’t find her place. It was her fault. No one wanted to put up with her. Destiny made up a very convenient excuse for Jacob to cut his losses and leave her. The family she had once hoped to belong to decided she wasn’t worth risking their existence for. Her mother had never really wanted a child. Bella had just tied her down for all those years. Charlie had his own happy enough life without her.

Everyone was better off without her.

Bella found herself two days later on her small tattered couch. Her apartment was packed in boxes. She had four sheets of paper on the coffee table in front of her. The sobs started again. She hadn’t fully stopped crying in the past few days. Hoping that she would cry it all out. But she couldn’t find an end. She wanted it to all end. To never wake up again. To have some relief from the knowledge that no one wanted her. No one ever would want her. She wrote letters to Charlie, Renee, and Jacob before she turned to the last piece of paper.  She let herself feel again. Releasing all of the pain she had kept locked away. The family she wanted to join came to the forefront of that pain. Emmett, Rosalie, Jasper, Carlisle, Esme, Alice…Edward. The family she lost because none of them wanted her. Their names burned in her brain. She didn’t need to write one to each of them. Just one of them. The one she wished she could’ve been good enough for the most.

She didn’t think about whether or not Alice would be watching. She didn’t think it would be very likely. Bella had more than enough close calls with death in the past two years. And Alice never came back. She didn’t care about her. Just like everyone else.

Her hand shook as she penned everything she had wanted to say to her lost love. Her anger at him, her hopes for him, her love for him. Still, after all this time and even with the distraction of Jacob, he was the only true love she had felt. The only place she felt at home. When she was done writing she placed the letters in separate envelopes, leaving them on the coffee table. She had her truck and motorcycle keys laid out on the table neatly next to the letters. She stared at the table for a long while. Thinking the same question over and over again. Was it selfish of her to take herself out of this life? No, she had caused enough stress and heartache for those that she loved. She thought over all of the people she loved, leaving Edward for last. Savoring the pain it gave her.

The light from outside was fading and Bella felt a peace she hadn’t felt in two years. Almost as if he was there with her giving her the strength she needed to follow through. She sat on the floor of her bathroom in the doorway, holding the tool she would use to end her pain. It was probably one of the more slow deaths but it was the one she knew would work.

She hadn’t realized that she was slipping away until she heard the front door open.

“Bella!” A high shrill voice like an angel called out to her. Alice.

[simplyjaeeex]

So just because I wanted to explain more what the exposing bloggers said about Hendall to really show you all how and why that PR was actually a pretty convincing one I’ll create this post:

So as you all know (unless you are a Haylor stan or just blind) Haylor was always a PR from beginning to end. I mean it was pretty obvious a n y w a y it wasn’t a good PR, at all and well 1Ds team couldn’t let another Haylor-like mishap happen, again. Now as you all know Kris (Kendall’s momager) never, never, misses a chance to further their wealth and relevancy even if it means manipulating her own children’s life. She is a master at it and well honestly I think she’s in a way addicted to it. Kendall was building her relevancy in the modeling world but she still needed more. So what better way then to link her to some super popular pop star 🌟 I mean y’all remember Kendall trying to get it with JB? It was all Kris’ mastermind. That didn’t happen though but that’s a whole other story and honestly idc too much bc JB is happily married to the one person who actually really does love him. Again I’m not getting into that. So who else was a very popular pop star at that time? None other than Mr. Styles, 1D was at it’s peak and it was a match made in PR heaven.

So why did it seem so believable and why was it much more successful than Haylor? Welllllll because they never confirmed it, ever. A huge hugely popular trick used. Anyone fish? Tease them about it and they’ll bite into it and you’ll hook them. That’s exactly what they did. They teased with little details and photos and insider exclusives (which is really code for their management or themselves) also known as sources.

11/2013 - Dinner @ Craig’s

Now let’s start with the location first: Craig’s. Literally that’s the restaurant celebrities go to, to get papped. If you don’t want to be papped on your very secretive date you don’t go to Craig’s. Anyway photos surfaced and boom rumors started and then the denying began, the teasing. A “source” denied and said they were “just friends”, K tweeted that she was single and H denied yet teased about it and hook line and sinker, you bit into it and now they got you.

1/2014 - Ski trip

A ski trip in which a “source” said that they were very couple-y and flirty with one another. Now tell me who could possibly be so close that they would know how they acted with one another? Anyway. Ski trip aside they “break up” the next month bc of conflicting schedules or some bs like that and blah blah blah 🙄

12/2015- The Yatch

Conveniently this “vacation date/reunion of lovers” happened right after K had been hospitalized for exhaustion. (Cough rehab cough) and well H was still dealing with his very much speculating sexuality rumors and the release of the new album amid Zayns departure and the hiatus. Perfect timing for both participants and tada! Dinner and Yatch, both very very common PR stunts. Show me a celebrity couple who hasn’t done a Yatch PR stunt? Or a beach one? It’s like a must do for PRs. Yet again a source came out saying that they have something going on for a while (teasing you yet again and trapping you). No one questioned why K was hospitalized and well H continued to be relevant and clearly not gay.

1/2016

Big sis Koko comes to the call as she teases everyone once again about the potential of Hendall being real. Let’s not forget Ellen who also teased all by saying how sweet they are and how she likes them both together. End of Jan had them both attend Jeff’s party, which they did not arrive or leave together. The Kardashian/Jenners are pretty good friends with the Azoffs so it’s no wonder they would be invited and well Harry as you know is buds with the guy and his stepdad was there as well.

4/2016

Shopping photo arises. No knowledge of where or when. Oddly enough yet it still gets your attention. News outlets legit say “If it’s Harry and Kendall ..” still very much keeping the mystery and teasing you by not confirming but still intriguing you. K was battling rumors of her supposed relationship with Clarkson around that time too coincidentally. Once again a source comes forward stating how much K likes H but aren’t committed bc well he’s your typical rockstar. Pushing the whole Womanizer rockstar image hm? How original.

9/2016

K and Clarkson rumors persist, so K&H are allegedly spotted having dinner. Where a source states how happy and beaming K looked. Allegedly.

4/2017

H teases by saying some of his songs were inspired by a recent relationship. Using the word She, speculations continue and the intrigue is once again there and obviously he’s straight bc he wrote songs about a she.

5/2019

Met Gala: they reunite and are one of the last two to leave. Well obviously, Harry was a host. They were seen leaving minutes apart but not together. They partied at the same after party and left together. K’s manager never rests and neither does H’s.

12/2019

Then we have the Late Late Show and the silly game of eat your guts or spill your guts. In which H refused to answer what songs were about K and in which many said both were very flirty and at ease with one another.

2/2020

The Brits. Pretty hard to not notice either with their very vibrant attires. But alas not much was really taken out of that

Then finally we have the really odd and out of place interaction during COVID-19. K with her rumored beau in a purple car while H rides his motorcycle. Like why? That just made zero sense honestly. Anyway we all know H needed proof that he was in LA well bc all the rumors going around and well K just needed to stay relevant. Still weird af.

So here’s the thing about this PR unlike other PRs, H &’ K actually became really good friends, like genuinely. They get along pretty well. So any stunt made wasn’t unbearable to them as it would have been if they’d been stuck with someone else. They’re comfortable with each other (as friends) making their interactions seem genuine. The LLS was just them being friends, the reason Harry decidedly ate cod sperm (don’t forget the whole to spit or swallow thing) wasn’t because he didn’t want to admit what songs were about K but bc none of the songs are about K. I mean how embarrassing would that be if he actually said that? In the Met Gala it was two friends being friends and having fun. The Yatch PDA was clearly staged and weird, I mean wtf was up with H’s fascination with her feet? Anyway there’s more in between the timelines but most of it were just alleged information given by sources ie: K throwing H a Bday gig or their supposed dinner date in which the source states K was beaming. Again no proof (photo or video) yet a source comes out once again teasing and keeping the mystery of it all keeping you in the edge wondering if it is or isn’t.

And that my lovelies is the reality of Hendall, so go forth with what you want with this. Believe don’t believe, up to you. The proof is out there.

[lottabank]

name: evelyn charlotte banks nicknames: charlotte , lottie , lott , char , charlie , charmander , etc. but she no longer goes by evelyn in this lifetime age: twenty three physically , sixty seven biologically sexuality: panromantic / sexual pronouns: she / her , cisfemale  species: vampire sign: gemini spotify: here pinterest: here

hello moon beams and star shines , this is late but i’ve just been busy with work ! i’ve got the time to try and finish stuff now , so i’m gonna work on trying to do my daughter’s intro. if you’d like to plot feel free to hmu via tumblr im or ask for my discord bc i’ll gladly give it. i also play rune ( shadow graced human ) so yeah it’s snottie back at it again , anything you want to know about me or lottie alike hmu or just read below to find out more about my sweet serial killer vamp princess

── the high council is prepared to hear the story of EVELYN CHARLOTTE ‘ LOTTIE ‘ BANKS , a VAMPIRE while noted as a WANDERER. we might of mistaken them as MADELAINE PETSCH. appearances may be deceiving, with immortality being so common among supernaturals. this being has walked the earth for NINETY years, and their face reflects an age of TWENTY THREE they’re a CITIZEN of estonia and will be residing in TALLIN.

during their stay of the harvest they shall work by day as a STRIPPER to blend in with the mortal crowd. however, at night you might find them as AN ESCORT / ASSASSIN. they’re UNHAPPY about the harvest, however, they plan to please the high council.

PERSONALITY.

vampire beauty queen , primadonna , self-proclaimed princess. this darling girl has always loved attention , luxury , all things beautiful and transitioning to the darkness only heightened that love. so much so that she will do just about anything to satisfy her own wants or needs. lottie is ruthless , verging on sociopathic. she is delicate , but she is dangerous. she is by no means unfeeling though , nor incapable of love. she can be sweet , she can be soft , she can be pink cheeks and bright smiles just as she can be bloody lips and deranged laughter. she is genuinely kind , loving and gentle unless your death would make her happier than your being alive.  

ruling planet: mercury — the planet of communication body parts: shoulders , arms , hands element: air good day: fascinating , original , resourceful , charming , wise , adventurous bad day: restless , distracted , two-faced , judgmental , depressed , overwhelmed favorite things: cell phones , fast cars , trendy clothes , obscure music , guitars , books , clubbing least favorite things: small-minded people , dress codes , authority figures , silence , routines secret wish: to have all the answers how to spot her: mischievous twinkle in her eyes,  humming , talking with her hands where you’ll find her: taking pictures , behind the bar , in a chat room , playing devil’s advocate keywords: communication , collaboration , synergy , cleverness , wittiness , inventiveness ,  ingenuity

charlotte’s energy circulates in a quick and frenetic way , witty wordplay and dynamic dialogue are her forte. she is great for brainstorming and socializing , but craves “ twin flame ” and kindred spirit energy and is always up for an intellectual meeting of the minds. 

under the influence she can find herself with the gift of gab , talking and conversing with others for hours hopping from pop culture trends to deep political topics. beware of when she becomes a “ gossip girl , ” as she can crank up the rumor mill. as renowned dr. bernie siegel says , “ we have the ability to cure with either ‘ words ’ or kill with ‘ swords. ' ” 

the essence of charlie’s energy is fascinating , original , resourceful , charming , wise , and adventurous. some negative manifestations can devolve into more restless , distracted , two-faced , judgmental , depressed , and overwhelmed energy. 

lottie has a tendency to ride the roller coaster of life , spiraling skywards one minute and plunging into lows the next. if you can keep up with her vibes though , you’ll have one hell of a thrill !

charlotte exhibits great creative synergy , instantly connecting people to each other. always inclined to spend time with friends and focused on changing the world one idea at a time.

a little bit older and wiser , more flexible and comfortable with change than others. she can “ chameleon ” herself to fit into a variety of situations. 

can come across as clever and quick-witted , eager to dish out the juiciest pieces of news and happenings to their friends via text message and social media. in case that’s not enough , she’ll probably send you a snapchat story for good measure.

lottie loves fast cars , trendy clothes and any wacky gadgets or games they can tinker around with. part of the fun ( and curse ) of this fiery red head is that you’re never quite sure which personality you’re going to experience. will it be the vivacious , pun-dishing jokester or the snarky , mean-spirited critic ? if you’re willing to see fifty shades of crazy , she’ll color your life in thrilling ways !

BACKGROUND.

evelyn charlotte banks was born june fourth , 1930 and was given the dark gift in the early fifties ( so you’ll definitely notice some call backs to that time period ). she has grown and developed and adapted throughout time better than most , but you can take the sock hop away from the girl but not out of her. she remembers her life before , but doesn’t dwell on nor even really miss it.

she grew up in your rather classic straight lace upper middle class suburban family and community with her perfect nuclear family. the town they lived in was small , close knit , and everyone knew everyone but especially who evelyn’s family was. 

she was in a lot of pageants growing up and was even platinum blonde for most of her human life , because she was so afraid her red hair would keep her from being successful.

when she was eighteen years old with big shiny dreams of silver screens , luxury , and eyes all on her was all she could think of. she left her family and their small generational hometown in georgia for bigger , better things in none other than hollywood. 

she was on her way ,  so desperate to be in the movies and be like marilyn monroe but shortly after is when she became ensnared by darkness and evil.  she wasn’t very successful at all in the beginning so , she started wearing tighter , shinier outfits when she was on stage when suddenly she started getting actual recognition. 

she wasn’t acting like she had intended , but it turned out her voice was good enough to land her plenty of lounge singing gigs in multiple joints. it was one particularly dark , seedy , dangerous joint that only opened once the sun set completely and closed upon the sun rise that she finally started to get propositioned to do so-called ‘ film gigs. it was also in this place where she met him for the first time. 

( tw: cult ment. ) her maker is very old and before she ever knew he was anything more than a handsome older gentleman she was fully under his control. he was something of a cult leader who for the most part glamoured his ‘ followers ‘ , but that was never necessary with charlotte. she was thoroughly and completely in love with her maker , she even ‘ married ‘ him and lived on his compound.

( tw: rape ment. , assault ment. ) it wouldn’t be for a few more years that he would finally turn her ,and only after he found her brutally beaten and raped for nothing more than a snuff film. her maker found her on the verge of death and wasted no time in saving her life by bestowing his dark gift upon her. 

( tw: murder ment. ) to say that lottie felt indebted to and fell in love with her maker to the point of obsession was an understatement , she would do anything and everything he asked of her including murder not in the name of feeding.

( tw: death ment. ) the films she was in were kept in the dark underbelly of the industry and no one was none the wiser , not to mention everyone thought she was dead after her last film.

so , she eventually did make her debut in film and was even on the silver screen finally. this only lasted for as long as she could get away with not aging before eventually she disappeared off the radar with her maker. the two traveled far and wide for a long time , but eventually went their separate ways even though lottie wanted nothing of the sort her maker commanded she live her own life without him now.

( tw: murder ment. ) she has since become something of a murderer ?? she prefers to call herself an assassin but it’s rare anyone actually pays her to murder anyone. you could even call her  a serial killer if you take into account that her victims are almost always men of the unsavory variety , but she has two sides to her personality and it’s not like she’s full maniac.

ETC.

if you know what yandere means she fits that description very well , and if you don’t know what it means well:  a common term in otaku fandom , a yandere is a person ( usually female ) romantically obsessed with someone to the point of using violent means to get them in their arms. often can be seen featured with a sharp weapon and a psychotic grin.

pretty much she comes off as this sweet , lovely , beautiful woman with lots of talent but in reality she can switch that off in an instant and literally kill you without any hesitation if it benefits her or someone she loves.

anyway she has been in estonia for only a bit now , but how long is flexible. she probably likes the scenery and the supernatural presence , but she’s honestly not a country mouse at all. 

also not that she needs money , but there is very little she loves more than attention and money. she works at a club as live entertainment on occasion , singing or stripping or bartending or occasionally doing , mostly for the attention but also if she’s in need of money.

[selfcallednowhere]

February 3, 2018 Dallas, TX

They opened with "James K. Polk." This surprised me--I expected them to keep doing it during the Quiet Storm section cos that was what they did the previous two nights. I'm honestly feeling pretty burned out on this song live after seeing it a million times--seeing it done acoustically during Quiet Storm was different enough to keep me interested, but when it's just the normal arrangement I am yeh rather sick of it.

Next they played "Damn Good Times," the second song all three nights on this trip, which I very much am not sick of even though I've seen that one a bunch too. It's one of my favorite live songs, actually--it's just SO FUN. "Hey, Mr. DJ, I Thought You Said We Had a Deal" was next and also superfun, even though the presence of Curt would've made it way better.

After that Flans said that this theater was "the box that rocks," and then, gesturing at the balcony, told us that we'd be meeting our accusers one by one and then all our verdicts would be read.

After "All Time What," Flans that it was time for the "fastest-singing portion" of the show, and that they were going to try to sing together. Then John said that this show was like a re-enactment of the instore they'd done earlier in the day cos so many of the same people were there. Then Flans said that he'd gotten our verdicts and we were all guilty.

I didn't really try to think about what song has them both singing really fast and singing together when he said it, but if I had I probably would've been able to figure out what the song was: "Letterbox." I was really excited to see it again, cos it's one of my top top top favorite songs.

After "New York City," Flans said that the show was "going too fast." Then he made them turn the house lights on for a "beard assessment." He said the beards looked "shockingly natural," and ordered a "round of beards" for everyone.

John said that they were going to be playing a lot of new songs and it was "a burden" and "a weight pressing down and crushing everything." I don't understand why they kept acting like we were going to hate seeing the new songs so much--I loved it and actually wished they would play more new songs.

Then Flans said that what they were aiming for was volume, and "as Bob Dylan said, there's just too much sound." Then they played a little bit, and Flans said if you buy I Like Fun you can get "all your favorite classical themes in one set."

Then they played "Mrs. Bluebeard." John really mangled the lyrics when they played it for the first time two days prior to this, but then the next day he did a lot better and only screwed up a couple of times and I was proud of him! But this time he was back to screwing up all over the place again. I was amused because afterwards he said "That's how it goes!" NO IT ISN'T JOHN. (Yes, I of course understand that he knew that too and that was the joke.)

Next they played "Music Jail, Pt. 1 & 2" which is one of my fav Glean songs, so I'm glad that one is still in the set.

After "Particle Man" and then "The Famous Polka," Flans said that they were playing two sets, which gives plenty of time to email and text.

Then:

JL: We're playing a lot of new songs, so bear with us. JF: No one likes the new songs, John. But we've already locked the doors!

Then there was this really obnoxious and probably drunk woman screaming for "When the Lights Come On," which they were most likely going to play anyway because they'd already played it at every other show on the tour. They said they weren't gonna play it and she just kept screaming for it. Then Flans said that they were gonna play it but now they weren't because of her, and then she started yelling "BUT I LOVE YOU," which made Flans tell a story about how they played at Bonnaroo which "is like being on the surface of Mars, you want to be anywhere else, and we were getting paid," and he met someone who told him how TMBG meant so much to them "and by the way, I love '500 Miles.'" Then the obnoxious woman went back to screaming, and I guess Flans figured there was no way to get her to shut the fuck up besides playing the song, so he asked John if he wanted to play it and John said "Sure. Fuck it." So then they played it and it was COMPLETELY AWESOME like it had been the other times I'd seen it, but also I was just happy to not have to hear that woman screaming anymore, and I'm sure all the rest of the crowd and the band and well anyone else in the building actually were too.

After "Your Racist Friend" they played "Nothing's Gonna Change My Clothes," YES YES YES. Even though I'd just seen it the day before I was ecstatic, since it's one of my fav songs and I've only seen it live a handful of times.

Next came "Cyclops Rock"--I'm really happy that's one of the Mink Car songs they've brought back into the set. It's great live--SO ROCKIN'.

Afterwards, Flans asked John about the current political climate.

JL: It's awesome! JF: Who needs nightmares when you have daymares? Things are gonna be great...later.

John introduced "The Mesopotamians" by saying that when he was a kid in 3000 BC there was a TV show about them.

Then came the set break and then Quiet Storm, the first three songs of which were the same as the previous two nights: "Older" and "I Like Fun" with the contra-alto clarinet, then "Tippecanoe and Tyler Too" on accordion. Before the third Flans said they were "Tres Might Be Giants" and made Marty give a sample of what he can do with the electronic drums.

After that there was something that really upset me:

JF: How are you, John? How are you doing with that accordion? JL: I'm ok. The accordion...just have to deal with it.

This is definitely not the first time I've witnessed him complaining about how much he hates playing accordion these days and I'm sure it won't be the last, but it still really upsets me every single time because seeing him play it is pretty much my favorite thing.

Then Flans was talking about the storm sound effects--he reassured us that they are in fact not just fans blowing in mics.

Then they played MY THEME SONG. Nothing is ever going to be as special as seeing it for the first time the day before, but I was still unbelievably excited to see it again.

After that they played something they hadn't played either of the previous two days: "Meet James Ensor." So that was an unexpected surprise. I love that song, and I thought it worked really well in this format.

Then the band came back on stage. Flans introduced Dan as being "the finest guitarist in They Might Be Giants."

Next they played "Istanbul." I'm so unbelievably sick of this song live, but I do at least like the crazy jam session at the end of it. Flans jumped up on Marty's drum riser for part of it and it was silly.

Afterwards, Flans said he was sick of that acoustic music and that it "reminded him of his folkie days." Then he asked whoever was in charge of the A/C to turn it on (he was right, it was for some reason really warm even though it was chilly outside). Then he said that the next song they had to play "out of contractual obligation to our band."

The song was "Number Three," which is superfun live. It's become one of the Pink songs I've seen the most cos they've been playing it a lot the last few years, but I always really enjoy it.

Afterwards Flans said that they wanted to thank "the guy holding the beer perilously close to the end of his fingertips."

Then:

JF: This next song is from the album Glean, everybody. JL: That's right. JF: All the way back to 2015! JL: Not a song that we have to do. A song that we get to do. JF: Think about the good old days. 2015. Things seemed so...so normal then. No dystopian...hellscape.

They played "Answer," and then John put his accordion on and Dan came over to the keyboard. Flans said that he was getting on the keyboard "where he belongs," and I was like "Ummmm how does the keyboard player feel about you saying that?" But HEY if you ask me John does belong with his accordion on, not behind the keyboard.

The next song was a major show highlight for me: "Put Your Hand Inside the Puppet Head"! This is a very special song to me, it was my very first fav TMBG song (in other words the one I'd most rock out to as a 5-year-old hearing my dad play his cassette of Pink), and I still love it dearly now. I've only seen it a handful of times, so it was a big deal.

Next they played "Doctor Worm," which wasn't as big a deal since I've seen it a million times, but still really fun as always.

Flans was mentioning where the next few shows are going to be, and said if we know anyone in those places we should tell them to come to the shows.

Then:

JL: If you don't know anyone in those towns...the first letter of each city...backwards spells out...an important message. I know it seems like a random tour where you like...it's like drawing a star on the map. There really is a reason for it. JF: Our booking agent is keeping it a secret from us. JL: Yes, he hasn't told us what the message was. We haven't been able to figure it out. JF: But it appears the letters spell out some kind of swear word. JL: Yes. Something very harsh. JF: It seems to be some kind of swear word and then the words "you guys." We're not sure what it means. It's impossible to know what that message could mean. JL: Before we get off-track here. Apparently--there's a thing called the Kessler effect. [The name of the venue was The Kessler.] And I believe it originated here. What it is, is when stuff in space starts smashing into each other and...all of space is destroyed. Do you guys know about this? And I don't know why but this theater is the very first part of that chain. The Kessler effect. JF: I first heard about it when we were described as the Kessler effect of bands. JL: I mean, yeh. We've smashed into, um...Soup Dragons, I believe.

(I thought he might've been making this whole thing up, but my friend Ant, who's very knowledgeable about space stuff, informed me that no it's a real thing, it actually is when stuff in space smashes into other stuff and they break apart, and it can actually be really dangerous. The "all of space is destroyed" part I'm pretty sure he made up though!)

Then they played "The End of the Tour," which is so good live (though I do think it works best as a show closer).

Next came "Spy," lots of fun as always. At each show I'd been to John played a sample of something as part of his improv part--this time it was "Here Comes Santa Claus," which was silly. I also managed to scream during the parts when Flans was trying to get everyone in the crowd to scream, even though I was feeling almost weak from excitedly singing along with every song and screaming after they played songs I particularly loved.

Then they played "I Left My Body," which was the last I Like Fun song of the night.  I really loved all the new songs I got to see them play, but I just wish they'd played even more!

They closed out the main set with "Twisting," which was, as always, COMPLETELY KICKASS. For some reason Dan was singing the "she wants" backing vocals instead of John--I'm not sure what was up with that and I didn't like it.

They started the first encore with "Let Me Tell You About My Operation." This is my current favorite Flansong, so I love seeing it live.

Flans said that the next song was their new single, which I was confused by because they'd already played "I Left My Body" (which wasn't a single exactly, but the closest thing the album had). But he was just joking--it was actually "Why Does the Sun Shine?", which is of course very much not a new song. John informed us that things that are a gas on the sun included Fiestaware, which he held up his red mug when he said (holding tea instead of coffee this time, I noticed, as evidenced by the string and tag sticking over the edge). He paused for a long time before the list of things that the heat and light of the sun are caused by the nuclear reaction between, but finally it was "Stuff! Things! Items! And objects!" He is so silly!

The first song of the second encore was "Wicked Little Critta," and they closed the show the same way they did the night before: with "Birdhouse in Your Soul." A perfect close to a perfect night.

John continued on his "stripey shirts, nothing but stripey shirts" streak, so he was 3/3 on this particular show trip for me. This time it was a black and white stripey t-shirt that I don't think I've ever seen him wear before.

[bennifits]

Undercover Martyn (2/???)

Summary: The avengers all coincidentally go to one bar to talk about their emotions and problems to one barmaid with too much time on her hands

 - In this installment, peter parker falls into a dumpster.

Characters: Peter Parker, Original Character (Daisy)

Tags: peter parker is fucking dumb but that’s okay bc we love him

previous - next

The last thing Peter Parker AKA Spiderman wanted tonight was to end up in a dumpster in the middle of somewhere in New York, on the night before his history assignment is due, it’s due tomorrow and he hates his life decisions full heartedly, to make matters worth he’s hardly done anything with it. It’s meant to be a PowerPoint on his chosen subject of the Industrial Revolution, nothing hard but he’d been putting it off for weeks and now it’s finally come back to bite him in the ass.

To make matters worse, he smashed his phone screen beyond repair and the communication system got damaged in the fall, so he can’t call anyone to at least get him.

He might just lay there for a few more minutes instead of getting up and out of the dumpster amongst his brothers and sisters, the trash bag and the smell of liquor stronger than any millennial self-deprecating joke.

Maybe he can just do it without the PowerPoint, have a few sheets on A4 paper filled with endless information. Stick a few pictures on the white board and point to them as he talks from the sheet he hasn’t memorised. He can read it the entire 15 minutes of the train ride to school, maybe he can even convince Ned to feed him the information through a wireless headset.

Suddenly the wind got knocked out of him. Whatever collided with his chest was heavy and smelled, mainly of food and wet paper towels. It also was very dark.

“Holy shit! I’m so sorry!”

Peter pushed the trash bag off him and sits up, going to rip off his mask only to shove it back down over his face as the culprit, a young woman leans over the side in distress, Peter could see her legs dangling over the other side of the bin.

“Oh shit, you’re Spiderman, I didn’t see you there, I’m sorry” she says rather quickly, tucking some strand of hair behind her ear. “Need help getting out?”

“Uh yeah actually”

She had a strong grip for a girl, it sounded bad in theory, but he was kind of surprised on how she found it easy to practically drag him out of the bin to plant his two feet back on the cold ground. She was considerably taller than him, mainly because of the heels she was wearing that clicked with the ground.

“Soooo….” He drags out “Thanks” he reads her name tag “Daisy”

“Why were you in a dumpster?” she asks with a chuckle, her shoulders bopping up and down as she laughed.

“I fell” he states, embarrassed slightly with an awkward laugh.

“You fell?” she giggles

“Yeah” Peter laughs nervously, scratching the back of his head. “Hey, not to sound weird or anything but, do you have a phone or something?”

“Yeah, it’s inside” She takes a few steps back, the light coming through the back door illuminating her features. “come in, I’ll give you my phone and fix you a drink”

And that’s how he ended up in a bar, drinking orange juice from a cocktail glass with an umbrella on the edge of it. After his call with a tired and frustrated Mr Stark, he handed back her phone with the little skeleton head charm. The girl unties her hair nonchalantly and wears the yellow scrunchie on her wrist, sliding her phone into her back pocket.

Peter had only known her for around 10 minutes, but she was warm, it was a nice feeling to know that a total stranger (who was considered adorable in his eyes and down right pretty, even with a small stain of red wine at the bottom of her shirt) who he had never met or seen before could be considered warm in his eyes. He honestly wanted to stay a little longer, out of the cold air and in an air-conditioned pub down near the wrong side of town.

His face turns red from under his mask.

“Someone coming to get you?” she asks “You know, since your communication thingy got wrecked and stuff”

“Uh yeah” he nervously laughs “Someone’s coming to get me”

“Alright then Spiderman” she smirks, fixing her suspenders to be more properly sitting on her shoulders. “I assume you were in that dumpster from drinking too much orange juice? You’re underage and shouldn’t be drinking” she jokes

“No, my uh-” he twists his arm to show his web shooters. “I ran out of web and fell. I must have broken something in the fall”

“Funny, I thought cardboard and broken bottles would be like landing on a bouncy castle” she replies sarcastically before making her way to the register, a satisfying ka-ching reaching his ears as she opens it like in the movies when the bad guys rob a cashier. He chuckles, lifting his mask slightly to his nose to take a sip of the orange juice, and doesn’t put it back down over his mouth.

“I really need to get home” he says

“Why? Got a girl waiting?” she side eyes him with a devilish smirk to match the whole theme of the bar.

“No!” he cries, startled. “I mean, I don’t think she likes me back anyway so- “

“Girls dig it when the guy acts first, gets the gossip train going with their friends” she interrupts, starting to organise the money and a mocking motion with her hand like she is pulling a whistle on a train. “Just try spidey” she pulls out a dollar and puts it into a different section of the register. “plus, who wouldn’t wanna date a superhero?”

Peter chuckles.

“I actually have an assignment I need to do” he admits with a groan. “It’s due tomorrow and I’ve been ignoring it”

“What’s it on?” she asks curiously, not looking up from the register.

“The Industrial Revolution”

“Oh dude, I love that time period” she shuts the register. “What do you need to know?”

“Wait seriously?” he asks, raising an eyebrow and drinking the last of his orange juice and placing it on the devil’s coaster. “I need to know everything”

“Watch the Assassin’s Creed Syndicate cutscenes, got everything you need to know in like, 5 hours. Add some smaller details about the pollution in the UK, child labour and you’ll get an easy A”

“It’s that easy?” he asks

“Yep” she pops the ‘p’ at the end of the word. “And it’ll impress your girl as well” she winks at him. “From one ex-teenager to teenager, balance Spiderman time with class time okay? Or you’ll end up at a bar serving superheroes for the rest of your life with strangers hitting on you to try and get a free drink.”

He laughs a little, that put his mind at ease even a little.

“Thanks” he says “You know, for the drink and talking”

“Anytime Spiderman” she salutes as car outside honks its horn. “That’s your queue kiddo, good luck on your assignment.”

Peter nods and does a slight wave, saying goodbye but secretly he knew that he’d see her again.

Hopefully.                                                                                                

[changeyourwaes]

just thinking about the fact that Sua loves to spoil people and yet we have no sugar mommy headcanons

well anyway bora's driving for the first time in a while bc she felt be driven for the past few months but this week she woke up and feels like driving so she's going to drive but you know it's been a while so she's a little rusty. And while she's trying to park in a space she swipes yh's car. She gets out to look at it and sees that yeah there's a sizable dent and that's definitely her paint on the car. She paces between the cars trying to decide if she wants to deal with this or not. Unfortunately for her, yh returns and sees the dent in her car and a woman pacing beside it.

"Did you do this" she demand as she grabs Bora's shoulder and turns her around only to be stunned to silence at how beautiful she is. Bora realizes she's gotta fess up so she's like

"Yeah, I'm super sorry. I'm the one who messed up your car. I'll cover it all." She nervously runs her hand through her hair. "What's your name?"

Yh's jaw is slack and her hand still on Sua's shoulder from when she turned Bora. She's not quite sure but she thinks she just heard the beautiful woman ask for her name. Bora, realizing why she is frozen, laughs

"I'm not that beautiful," she says bowing just a bit. That brings yh out of her daze. She snaps get jaw shut and drops her hand. But

"Uuuuhhh" is all that leaves her mouth.

"My name is Kim Bora." Bora offers, 'What's yours? We should probably exchange information so we can get your car fixed."

"Uuuhhh Yoohyeon I mean Kim Yoohyeon." She bites her lip and she turns to the car. She runs her hand over the dent

"You know what, I think it's just a cosmetic dent. The car probably still runs fine" she sputters. Bora tilts her head

"But you haven't had it checked out yet."

Yh crosses her arms "Umm I have a good eye so-"

Sua touches her arm "You were about ready to fight me when you first saw your car," she interrupts, "so I'm not allowing you to leave until I have your info."

Yoohyeon sighs and slumps against her car "I don't have insurance and if I report this I'll prob better be able to afford insurance ever." Bora purses her lips and hums.

"What if we took care of this unofficially? No issurance reports?"

Yoohyeon whips her head around to Bora, "Would you--" she stops afraid to finish.

"Yeah, you shouldn't suffer for my mistakes. But I'm still gonna need like your name and number."

"Right, of course" she puts her number into Bora's phone.

"If you're free I can have my mechanic look at it today"

"Ack, thank you but I'm actually due to be somewhere right now."

"Well just let me know when you're available this week. And I'm really sorry about your car"

"Umm no no don't worry it's no big deal."

Sua chuckles "I think it is a pretty big deal but, it's nice of you to say that. Don't forget to call me when your free, okay?" Bora waves as she walks to her original destination.

Yh sits in the car watching Bora walk away. She pinches herself not believing this is real.

When Bora walks into a restaurant her friend is already at a table. "Minji, take away my license when I get old. I'm definitely gonna be a liability and I don't hurt anyone"

Minji strokes get chin "I seem to recall trying to take away your keys at a party last year and you almost nailing my face with a bottle of jägermister"

Bora waves her off "Anyways, looks like I need a driver again cuz I already hit somebody"

Minji bursts into laughter "Only you, Bora!"

Yoohyeon calls and tells Bora she's free. She may or may not have clear her schedule because she needs to fix her car after all. Bora gives Yoohyeon her address tells her the mechanic will be there. Yoohyeon is shook when she pulls up to Bora’s lavish townhouse. In her concern over insurance she had failed to notice the expensive make of Bora’s car.  

Mechanic eval

the dent is not won't be difficult to fix but you're car in dire need of some maintenance. Your brake pads are non existent. All your fluids could stand to be replaced. One of your windshield wiper is half off the blade and your alignment is off. I can fix it all but it'll take a few days. Oh

Lots of sm problem

Borrow car

You have to drive me around dates

Car fixed no reason to hang

Paint job

Goodbye

Listlessnesss and doubt erased texts dropped calls driving past Sua's house

Sua buying things that subconsciously reminds her of her and filling up a room with them

@sin-somnia

[roxvnnes-blog]

"if ashley fragipane gets to go by halsey, I get to go by nxa, end of."

┈ did you read that latest viral gossip issue on ROXANNE BALINGER/ NXA?  she is one of my favorite R&B/NEO-SOUL artists. they’ve been releasing music for TWO YEARS now, but viral gossip has only been talking about them for the last YEAR. get this, i think i heard SHE HAD AN AFFAIR WITH HER PREVIOUS MANAGER. they’re known as the BITTERSWEET of the music industry, since they have a rep for being BOLD but BRUSQUE, but who knows. maybe that will change once they become #1.  ( KAYLA, 21, CST, SHE/HER. )

yo whats up its ur local garbage girl baby kay n this is 97.5 wabd with the test drive at five -- srs tho hey it meme, back at it with a fem muse. im hella excited to play and develop her as well as connect with all yall for her so lets get it on

BACKGROUND:

originally from the cascade heights area of atlanta georgia. her parents were middle class & instilled work ethic into her during her early years

TW FOR DEATH/CAR CRASH  when she was 12 her parents were killed in a car accident and she went to live with her grandma because she was her only known living relative

it got rough bc she had to move across the city to lakewood heights to be with her grandma

a troubled Problem child, like her grandma rlly tried but she couldn’t keep roxanne on a leash at all. she was always getting into trouble at school and getting into fights.

by HS she was rlly an outcast, she always seemed like she was unhappy (which she was??) but she also thought nobody gave a fuck about her (still kinda does??) 

this was when she rlly started taking a liking to music. like, when she had nobody else around, she had her cds/tapes. she felt good when she listened to janet jackson, aaliyah, britney bitch (lily  👀 👀), lauryn hill, eartha kitt, macy gray, and ella fitzgerald like she just?? rlly?? loved??? music??

but she was 17 going on 18 had no skills, barely graduated hs and has like 1 friend probably sooo

strip

while she was dancing she spent her free time writing/creating songs/lyrics

one night @ the club she asked a client if she could sing to him n he let her but he also told her she’d better stick to dancing lmao what a douche

she rlly wanted to be a music star tho because she felt like a lot of her songs were /realistic/ because they were truthful to her n figured ppl could #relate

so she had a small following on her soundcloud and did a little local show where she was discovered by her first manager. she was frank w/ roxanne and told her basically she wasn’t great but she had potential and if she could put in the work they could make her a big name in the industry

to sum it up, she worked day and night (literally, in the day on music in the studio and at night in the strip club) to get her EP out which gained her more traction (titled UR after it’s lead-off track) during this time she had an affair with her manager who was a married woman, but she rlly cared about roxy and roxy cared about her?? they kinda loved each other romantic stylez?? but it was still rlly ugly in the public eye so when she signed to the big label she parted ways w/ her old manager

now she’s living in LA, fortunate enough to be a full time musician with a highly anticipated debut album

PERSONALITY:

extremely humble. she’s never showy or a braggart when it comes to things she does

still very confident tho. both in herself and in her music because she’s worked so hard on it

very tell-it-like-it is. she’s not one to lie for clout or partake in some bullshit just to make money, especially if it involves music.

very much doesnt care if u hate her, like?? she’s like cool? so what if u dont like me??? i’m not doing this for you anyway???

she’s not one to start any beef chicken or pork but if you badmouth her or drop her name then she will definitely know and she’ll definitely tell her honest opinion of u next time she’s asked n it might sound shady but it’s the Truth from her lips

hardly has a sense of commitment in romantic relationships but values friendship highly and would never betray a true friend

pansexual n very open about her sexuality, experiences, and lifestyle

not Mean but she is blunt and doesn’t like to play games w/ ppl eiether. her intention isn’t to hurt someones feelings but she also feels like ppl deserve honesty

believes in love bc her parents were madly in love and highkey she wants to have that for herself some day she just doesn’t rlly know if it’s in her cards right now???

v into the mystical

OTHER:

okay... so she’s actually named after her grandma. her full name is ethel roxanne balinger, but dO NOT call her ethel. literally it’s such a well kept secret that idk if anyone will ever know that’s her real first name??

she even had it legally changed to just ‘roxanne balinger’ after she got signed so u wont even catch her with an ID that reads ‘ethel’ on it.

seriously if u call her ethel bc somehow your character knows, she’ll punch them

i think?? that’s it right now???? this is already long asf??? but hmu if u wanna plot?? i dont have a connections page yet but im getting there lol

[zustinviews]

Want You Back - Justin Bieber imagine

Request: ‘Can u do imagine where YN and Justin are broken up and they both are famous and they go to an award show and Justin keeps staring at YN bc he wants her back?and u can do the rest💕💕💕’

Warnings: none

A/N: {Y/S/T} stands for ‘your song title’ and {Y/A/N} stands for ‘your album name’. this imagine was kind of long, sorry!

{Y/N} POV

“This LA traffic sure kills,” my manager said at the front of the car. We were currently on our way to the Billboard Music Awards, which was scheduled to start in thirty and we were about ten minutes away. The thing was, you could never be right abut how late you’re going to be in California. You’re either early or late, nothing in between. 

Tonight, I was joined by my manager, my mom and a friend. My friend was the plus one because Justin was originally supposed to go with me but, he broke up with me just a week before the award show. Shocker, right? We soon reached the arena it was being held at and the valet was ready to take our car.

“Well here goes nothing, {Y/N}. We got this,” my manager said while getting out the car. My mom and friend exited the car, leaving just me in the car. I really didn’t want to do this or even be here but, I was nominated for two or three awards and I wasn’t going to skip it just because my ex was here. I was better than that. I exited the car and the crowd went wild once I was in sight.

My manager led the three of us through the crowd and we were stopped by E-News. “{Y/N}! Could we get just a quick word with you?” I said sure, walking over towards where they were set up. “Wow! Can we just say that you look absolutely stunning tonight? Anybody in mind that you’re trying to impress?”

“Oh no! I’m not here to impress anybody except myself!” I joked. “I’m honestly here to just enjoy myself and accept these awards for the fans!” 

“One more question before you go!” They continued. “We know that you and Justin broke up. How are you feeling about possibly seeing him tonight? Any interaction?”

I thought for a moment before answering, “I’m not too sure about that. I think the real question here is if he’s going to show up.”

“Okay {Y/N}, thank you for your time. Everyone that was {Y/N} {Y/L/N} now we see…”

I walked past them and stopped and took a few pictures on the red carpet, as much as I hated doing that. Multiple people were calling my name to look here, there and everywhere. It was enough to give me a headache, and these flashing lights? Don’t even get me started. We moved along the carpet and we were soon inside. We were escorted to our seats and I looked about to see who was sitting close to us. Ariana Grande and her team were to the left of us and Shawn Mendes was to the right of us. I was definitely getting pictures with them.

“The next category is favorite pop song of the year. The nominees are.. Shawn Mendes, ‘Mercy’, Ariana Grande, ‘Side to Side’, featuring Nicki Minaj, {Y/N} {Y/L/N}, ‘{Y/S/T}’, Justin Bieber, ‘Company’!”

The competition in this category was pretty tough considering I was up against A-list celebs. I’d be beyond shocked if I actually won against Ariana or even Shawn. Of course I was up against Justin, how surprising! 

“And the winner is… {Y/N} {Y/L/N}, ‘{Y/S/T}! Come on up {Y/N}!”

I was shocked to here my name be called. Was I dreaming? I hugged my manager and the other two who were with me. While hugging my mom, I noticed Justin was sitting just two rows behind me, staring at me. What was his problem? I ignored him and walked up to the stage to collect my award.

I walked over to the microphone, beginning to say my not-so planned speech. “Wow, I really wasn’t expecting this. Um,” I paused momentarily to look out at the audience filled with fans and celebrities and of course, I locked eyes with Justin. I nervously chuckled before continuing my speech. “I just want to thank my fans, family and my team. None of this would have been possible without you.”

After the awkward experience while being on stage, I couldn’t help but look back every so often to see if Justin was still staring at me, which he was. What a creep. The night went on and more and more awards were given out. Now, it was the end of the night and the award show was coming to a close. 

“And now ladies and gentlemen, the final award of the night! The category is Favorite Pop Album of the Year! The competition was real in this one. Anyways, the nominees are: Justin Bieber, ‘Purpose’, Ariana Grande ‘Dangerous Woman’, Beyonce, ‘Lemonade’, Charlie Puth, ‘Nine Track Mind’, and lastly, {Y/N} {Y/L/N}, {Y/A/N}!”

All I really wanted was anybody besides me or Justin to win this. The tension in the room was already enough to kill me. 

“And the winner is.. Justin Bieber, Purpose!” 

Oh, dear. I could already tell we were going to be here all night with Justin’s speech. 

I, after waiting almost three hours in this packed arena, finally got my pictures with Shawn and Ariana. This was what I was waiting for all night. I was getting done with my picture with Shawn, when Justin came into focus. I quickly thanked him and the tension from earlier returned. We stared at each for a few seconds since neither one of us knew what to say.

"Hey," he started, rocking back and forth on his heels. I assumed he didn't know what else to say because of his short remark.

"Congrats on the awards." I spoke up. It was a sincere congrats although I wish it wasn't. "You deserve it."

"Thanks, you too." He responded. "So, {Y/N} I was kind of wondering if maybe you wanted to go to an after party Scooter is hosting. It's cool if not, I'll understand."

"Uh, sure," I sheepishly said. I was unsure about my answer considering Justin and I were on rocky terms. "I'd love to go with you considering I'm not doing anything tonight."

"Great. Let's go."

[panicked-sapphic]

DANIS DETAILED FAMILY PROFILES BECAUSE I AM ONE BORED MF:

Evita Valentina González De Niro

45

FACECLAIM: Justina Machado from One Day At A Time, only with tanner skin(bc they’re an outdoorsy family and the entire clan is super tan) and some freckles.

FROM: Was born in Puerto Rico, moved to Mexico City as a toddler. Currently resides just outside of Phoenix, Arizona.

JOB(S): I think i said something about her mom owning a restaurant but I’m changing it. Evita is currently a doctor practicing emergency medicine(she she basically works in the emergency room aye). She worked her ass off to get through medical school in America so!!! I love Mama De Niro. Goes by Dr. González tho.

PERSONALITY: She’s really warm and gentle. But she’s tough as hell. She worked three jobs to put herself through medical school, and because shes a woman and an immigrant, nobody took her seriously so she worked even harder to be the top of her class. She’s really compassionate and very fierce about things being right and fair. She also has very strong morals. She’s incredibly honest and isn’t a fan of lying and therefore she sucks at it(like mother like daughter). She’s always had school be a #1 priority which she drilled into Dani since she was a little girl. When she gets an idea into her head she doesn’t drop it, which can be negative LMAO. Very proud of her culture and heritage and raised Dani with the same idea. Takes certain traditions very seriously(Day of the Dead, etc)

FAMILY: Camila González(Mother - 76 - alive), Miguel González (father - 66 - deceased), Matias González(brother - 47 - alive), Santiago(39 - brother - alive), Isabella&Martina(sisters - 37 - alive), Katalina(youngest sister - 16 - deceased, Danica is lowkey named after her, as her middle name is Katelynn)

SOME INFO ABOUT HER BACKGROUND: When her father died, Evitas mother, Camila, moved to the US to live with her oldest daughter, her husband, and grandchild, who was 6 at the time. She’s always been close to her mother and is glad that it carried down to Dani. They strongly live by the ‘Family is Everything’ rule, and she is in regular contact with her brothers and sisters who live in Mexico City, and usually visits during holidays, or they come and visit her. She’s been married to her husband, Gabriele, for 19 years. They waited until she became an attending to get married and have children. Evita worked herself to the bone making sure she could do her job and spend time with Danica, because she didn’t want to be an absent mother. All in all, Evita is one hell of a badass and I love her with my entire soul. After having Dani(her birth was rlly traumatic and difficult), she found out she couldn’t have any more kids.

Some short profiles for her brothers and sisters aye

Matias Gonzalez - 47, alive, married to Ramonda, father to Benedictio, Rosalyn, and Camila(20, 18, and 14). He owns a restaurant, and lives in Tepoztlan, which is like an hour or so away from Mexico City. His wife is a stay at home mom but also kind of makes cakes on the side?? For parties and stuff, shes pretty good.

Santiago Gonzalez - 39, alive. Travels the world as a famous photographer. Has a few places in various cities all over(he’s pretty wealthy). Kind of like the cool rich uncles who give you cool gifts and spills ALL the family drama when you’re old enough. Pretty rad. Super gay honestly.

Isabella Garcia - 37, alive, married to Elian Garcia, mother to Aloise and Alford(both 11) and Valentina(6) and Luz(3). She plans weddings(is known for her work too) and her husband is a professor. Lives in her childhood home, which is where the family gathers for holidays.

Martina Aguado - 37, married to Felipe Aguado, mother to Sophia(15), Dario(8), and Diego(2). She’s a teacher, and her husband is a lawyer. She lives not far from her identical twin sister.

Katalina Gonzalez - 16 - deceased. Katalina died in a car accident while out with friends. She was the youngest of the family, and her loss changed everyone. She was closest with Evita, which was why Danis middle name is Katelynn. It’s a nod to her little sister, who is a lot like Dani, and like Dani, wanted to be a journalist.

AND NOW FOR GABRIELE I’M READY FOR MY TEDDY BEAR ITALIAN MAN LMAO

Gabriele ‘Gabe’ Lorenzo De Niro

47

FACECLAIM: Stefano Accorsi bc he was the closest thing I saw in my head for Dani’s dad, and this guy has blue eyes instead of brown, which is where dani gets her blue eyes.

PERSONALITY: Kind of comes off as super tough and intense but he’s literally a  big softy who cried when Dani left for college. Loves his wife so much omg,, like its disgustingly cute how in love they are. He’s so proud of his strong wife honestly HAHA,, tries a little too hard to be a cool dad. Real dweeb. He’s really honest like his wife, and like Evita, strongly lives by the rules of ‘School First’ and ‘Family is Everything’, mostly because he grew up in a pretty broken home(his father was an abusive alcoholic) and he never had that family structure until he was older.

JOB(S): He’s going to be a PEDS doctor? I’d like for Evita and Gabriele to have met in med school or something and were friends/dating for years before getting married when she graduated(he was a year or so ahead of her schooling wise). Helps out his brothers restaurant on the side when he has the time/they need help.

PERSONALITY: While he was born and lived in Italy until he was 14, he doesn’t have strong ties to the language or culture, so he mainly kind of adopted the one his wife introduced him to, as it was important to her that Dani grew up surrounded by the same culture she was raised in. Still knows Italian, but doesn’t speak it very often anymore? He’s really caring. Kind of adopts every kid he meets kind of thing. He’s really good with people and kids, which is a big reason why he went into PEDS. I love this man with my entire heart, he’s so wholesome and pure. Goes by his mothers maiden name bc he hates his dad.

FAMILY: Enric Betto (father - 74 - alive?), Giulia De Niro(67- mother - alive, i originally was going to have her deceased but i love her sm, my strong grandmom deserves MORE than that), Enzio De Niro(40 - brother- alive), Fabian De Niro(37 - brother- alive)

BACKGROUND INFO: Was born and raised in Naples, Italy. He grew up fairly poor, with his father draining the money with his drinking and gambling habit. He was abusive, and after nearly killing his youngest brother, his mom left him, and a year later, at 14, his mom moved him and his brothers to Arizona to live with some family friends. They stayed there, and he worked hard in school to get a scholarship for medical school. I’m thinking him and his wife both attended Colombia or Johns Hopkins or something?? Both on scholarship. Another ‘school comes first’ enforcer haha!!

Those family profiles bc i love my homies!!

Giulia De Niro - 67 - lives just a few miles away from her son and daughter in law and granddaughter, is a frequent visitor. Like, every day lmao. I’m thinking she works at a bakery/co-owns one with the same family friends that took them in when they moved to America? Always making something yummy, anyways.

Enric Betto - 74 - alive, lives in Italy ALTHOUGH if I want some side drama for Dani i’ll have him come in later to fuck things UP. He’s a dick honestly lmao

Enzio De Niro - brother, 40, alive - married to Kelly Prescott. Father to Amelia(13), Brandon(9), and Olivia(6). He’s an electrician, and his wife works as a 911 operator

Fabian De Niro - brother, 37, alive - engaged to Brady Pullman. They have 3 dogs, all pitbull mixes(Buttons, Charlie, and Dobby). Fabian is a contractor(he builds and designs houses and buildings?? I think thats what its called lmao) and Brady owns a cafe in Phoenix!! They eventually marry and adopt some kids

Yeah i put WAY too much thought and effort into this LMAO i’m,, so lame,,,

[mrsrcbinscn]

BDRPWriMo Task #16: TV Soundtrack -- Music In Just Trust Me

So, I was gonna do ten songs but I ran out of interest so here’s just two. I’m gonna re-do this task as just a part two of last years, where The Robinsons were a tv show lmao.

But I wanted to post this bc I did work hard lmao

so here’s 2 songs in the fake tv show Just Trust Me

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 Just Trust Me is an American TV show produced by Netflix. Franny is one of the show’s co-producers, along with fellow Seoul Hanoi’d band member Mary Xiong, and several other Southeast Asian Americans connected to entertainment. 

Just Trust Me is loosely based on the lives of Franny Sor Robinson, Mary Xiong, and Lydia Manivong, a Lao-American director and screenwriter who grew up in the same small Georgia town as Franny Robinson.

The show is set in the current day though, not the 90s, which is when Franny was growing up.

The five main characters are:

Zoey Vongvilay - a Lao-American girl whose mother immigrated from Laos and whose father is the first-generation son of Lao refugees; the character is played by a Canadian actress who is mixed Lao-Chinese-Vietnamese. Lydia Manivong’s life provided a lot of inspiration for the character.

Serey Sim/Nielson - a Cambodian-American girl whose biological parents both immigrated from Cambodia, but they divorced and her biological father isn’t in her life. The character has a white American step-father (whose last name she legally takes in season 3 when she surprises her family with the name change on a visit home from college) and step-brother, and a biracial little sister. She is played by a Cambodian-Burmese-American actress. This character is based heavily on Franny, with some key differences

Franny is biracial, her biological father is white

Franny’s real life step-father, who adopted her and IS her father as far as she is concerned, IS white but he is from Switzerland, not the US

Franny has two step-brothers, not just one, and has no younger half-siblings

Her mother didn’t immigrate by choice, she was a refugee resettled to America in the 70s, but since the show takes place in the 2010s-2020s, that had to be updated so it would make sense for the mother to have a teenage daughter

Song Bee - A Hmong-American girl whose parents immigrated to the US, her mother as a child, her father in his 20s. She is played by an actress of mixed Hmong-Thai-Indonesian-Pakistani-white background. Parts of her are inspired by Mary Xiong

TaShana “Shayna” Brewer-Pham - A girl with a Jamaican immigrant father and first-gen Vietnamese-American mother. Franny was insistent that one of the main characters be biracial. Originally, it was going to be Serey’s character (her original name was Serey Nielson, a nod to Franny’s husband’s first name being Cornelius), but when the Japanese-black actress auditioned for what was supposed to be a recurring character with no specified ethnicity named “Julie”, the writers, one of whom was black-Vietnamese herself, wrote TaShana for her.

George ”Fitzy” Fitzpatrick VI - A boy who is fifth generation Japanese-American on his mother’s side, and even more Irish-American on his father’s side. He was a recurring character in the first season and was moved to main in the second. He’s played by a biracial Japanese-white actor.

Setting: Originally, a small town in Texas, then, in season three, when the main five move on to university, largely in Austin with scenes in their hometown as well.

Premise: Just Trust Me is a comedy-drama about five young Texans of diverse backgrounds as they struggle with identity, expectations, stereotypes, school, part-time jobs, romance, and social lives. There are subplots involving many other characters, but the main 5 are in every episode.

Franny’s character in the show: Ary Meas/Aunty Ary, Serey’s aunt, is played by Franny Sor Robinson. She is a recurring character (usually in 3-5 episodes every fourteen-seventeen episode season) and is usually there to bail Serey out of trouble with her mother (Ary’s sister), or who Serey tests out sharing major news with. Ary is eccentric and a bit of a disaster, but a disaster who loves her niece. She always has a new suitor, and has been married and divorced since the series began.

Theme song: Geraldine by Avett Brothers

  1: Episode 1x01: San Rafael

  Song: Jeas Cyclo by Yol Aularong

  The scene opens with Serey pedaling furiously on her bicycle, at an ungodly speed with her backpack on. She almost hits an armadillo but shrieks and swerves out of the way and not long after she’s back on course, she hears a car engine rev and laughter. She looks over her shoulder and rolls her eyes and groans because coming up behind her are the biggest assholes in school. They drive recklessly and speed through a muddy puddle, splashing mud all over her, and startling her off her bicycle and into a ditch. She looks up into the camera and spits out ditch water and dirt. 

  Serey flicks some mud off of her and hops back on the bicycle. 

  Cut to school and Serey beelines for the girls’ bathroom. As the song fades out, another student appears from out of frame with some clothing folded up in her hands. 

  “Brought your real clothes!” She chirps. 

  “Thanks, Zoey.” Serey sighs, drying her hands, then she begins stripping right there in the main part of the bathroom and changing outfits. 

  The true Franny story: [from an interview given at an event premiering the first episode] “We lived pretty close to my high school, so even if we could afford cars for my brothers and I, I probably would have bikes before it got to be winter anyway. But some people really hated me, like really hated me, so I’d been run into ditches like Serey, yeah. It got to the point where I’d keep my real nice clothes at Daniel’s — Daniel Maitland, my partner in Dara & Danny — at his house, and call him every night and tell him what outfit pack for tomorrow. That went on for a school year, until those kids graduated.”

  Why Franny chose this song for this scene: “I wanted the first song the viewer heard to grab them and let them know what kind of show this was, like who it was a show about. It’s about Southeast-Asian-Americans living in the South. They are influenced equally by pop music they listen to with their friends, the indie music they discover on Spotify alone in their rooms, the country music playin’ at restaurants in their towns, and the music their parents and grandparents brought with them from Asia. So I wanted the Asian influence to smack everyone’s ears in the face. 

  2: Episode 3x05: George Not Straight

  Song: The Cowboy Rides Away by George Strait

This is the episode where George “Fitzy” Fitzpatrick comes out as ga to his conservative Catholic parents. He’s at a Mexican restaurant on karaoke night in their hometown during fall break with his parents and the rest of the Core 5, and the actor that plays Fitzy actually sings this song. In the scene, Fitzy sings his karaoke song but he keeps looking between his parents, his friends, and the Latino man who is a recurring character (Jose Ruiz) and was Fitzy’s ex boyfriend. 

  Jose broke up with Fitzy in season two after Fitzy refused to come out to his conservative family. Jose respected his decision but also asked that his decision to not want to be a secret be respected as well, and ended the relationship. 

  Before he can finish the song, Fitzy just trails off and sighs and stands there on stage, frozen. He looks dead at his parents as the karaoke track continues on and says into the mic. “Mom...dad…”

  Serey gasps, TaShana mutters ‘he isn’t…’, and Song goes ‘he is!’

  “I’m gay. I love men.” And drops the mic and calmly walks off stage, into the throng of tables, and his four best friends scurry out of the restaurant behind him. 

  The original song plays while they’re running to the pond in their favorite spot in the woods, and they jump in the water in their clothes and splash each other, they’re having fun!! But Fitzy’s expression flits between joy and anxiety as he plays with his friends like they’re kids again

  Franny, on this episode: I’m queer. I came out as bisexual before I even knew that there was a word for what I was. I told my family “I feel about girls the same way I feel about men.” They accepted me, but they were worried about me. We were from a conservative, rural area, and was already a woman of color you know? But I knew kids at my high school - White kids, black kids, Asian kids, Hispanic kids, whose parents were ultra conservative. And some of those parents loved their kids more than their wrong opinions, but others were like Fitzy’s. Like, I had a black male classmate that was kicked out of his home for being gay sleeping in my bed with me for two weeks until he moved on to the next friend’s house, becasue he had nowhere else to go. Queerness is not exclusive to white people and neither is homophobia. Serey’s character has always been openly bisexual, like I was by her age when the show started, and for our families it wasn’t a big deal. But we wanted to represent multiple queer narratives, not just one.