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duhragonball · 4 years ago

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Cult Classic

I had a really exhausting week, so I’m going to try to chill out by writing this thing about cults that’s been bouncing around in my head since... oh, like January 6th? For some reason? But it’s also about my insanely long OC fanfic slash vanity project slash concept album. Join me, won’t you?

Okay, so back in... geez 2018? Has it been that long? Around October 2018 I started working out the details for the big climax of the “1000 years ago” section of my fanfic. From the start I had this idea that the Legendary Super Saiyan would be locked into a death struggle with pretty much the entire Saiyan population, led by a Saiyan King who just can’t handle being upstaged. But I had to figure out a lot of details to make that actually work. What I finally ended up with was the Jindan Cult.

Why a cult? Because I wanted my King character to be the main villain, but also be physically weaker, but also he needed to be powerful enough to challenge the heroine. I came up with all these different ways to beef up his power level without making him a Super Saiyan himself, but ultimately I wanted him to have an army of Siayans at his back. That led me to consider some sort of magic elixir that would make them all stronger, but especially the king, since he’s ultimately in this for himself. At first, I considered having him mind-control all of his goons, but I spent the mind control nickel in earlier arcs, and I’ll have to use it again later, because Towa and Demigra use it. Then I thought of drug addiction, which is sort of like mind control but not literal brainwashing or anything like that. And that led me to the cult concept.

One major inspiration for me was the real-life cult called “NXIVM”, which made the news back in 2018 when their leaders started getting arrested, including “Smallville” star Allison Mack. Every time I read about it, it felt like something from a movie, but it was real. I guess the celebrity angle made it more bizarre to me, because it’s sort of like “Hey, this isn’t just some group of randos; someone you’ve heard of is in this thing.” Not that I ever paid much attention to “Smallville”, but you get the idea. She didn’t just join NXIVM, she eventually became one of the top recruiters. Some of the character arcs in my fic were my own attempt to understand how a person goes from Point A to Point B.

The big plot hole, though, in my mind, was that I came up with this whole master plan for the bad guys, but it involved sending wave after wave of Saiyan cultists to die in pointless, unwinnable battles against Luffa. I couldn’t have them win much, because if they beat her, they’d just kill her, and the story would be over. It struck me as fishy that these Saiyans would sign up for a war where the casualty rate is 100%, but I tried to lampshade it as best I could. “Yeah, all those other chumps couldn’t beat Luffa, but I’ll pull it off because I’m special!” It still seemed a bit unlikely.

But then 2020 happened, and I guess the main thing I learned from that year was that people will accept almost anything in order to believe a comfortable lie. The joke I’ve seen on the internet is that we need to retire the expression “avoid it like the plague”, because it turns out a lot of people don’t actually avoid plagues very well at all. The horrifying thing about COVID-19 is how easily people will accept the climbing death tolls. “Oh, well this person was already in bad health, so they would have died eventually anyway.” I don’t want to get too political here, but I’m pretty sure a lot of the anti-mask, coronavirus-is-a-hoax crowd are the same people who made up tall tales about “death panels” in Obamacare. “They’re gonna euthanize your grandma!” they would say, but now they say your grandma is acceptable losses if it means reopening bars and restaurants.

Actually, I do mean to get political, because holy fuck, Qanon stormed the Capitol Building. Look, if you don’t believe Joe Biden won the election, I don’t know what to tell you, except please get far away from me, right now. If you’re not familiar with Qanon, a few years ago some guy on an image board posted a bunch of cryptic messages and claimed to be an important government figure who would know about important things. People started “deciphering” his “clues” and when he stopped posting new ones they started inventing their own “clues” and interpreting them any way that suited them. This led to an overarching narrative that Donald Trump was actually part of this massive sting operation to arrest hundreds, maybe thousands of left-wing politicians, celebrities, and whoever else. Any day now, he was supposed to have Hilary Clinton arrested, and also JFK Junior would somehow show up and help him, even though he’s been dead for 22 years. Every day, these Qanon guys would add on more bizarre lore to their “theories”, and every day none of their predictions would come true. Then Trump lost the election, which put them in a bind, because their whole mythology is based on the idea of him saving the world as POTUS, and now he wasn’t even going to be POTUS for much longer.

I’m pretty sure this had a lot to do with the lies about election fraud. Trump himself refused to accept defeat, and his supporters didn’t want to accept it either, so they all told each other that it wasn’t real, and they believed each other so much that they dug in their heels. But then they’d take this stuff to court and the judge would be like “Uh, what evidence do you have of mass voter fraud?” and they would just be like “lol nvm!” I mean, if there was proof for any of this, why would they not want a judge to see it? But for Qanon, it was more than just being sore losers. They needed all their whackamaroo predictions to come true, and Trump losing re-election would upset the applecart.

So then they started telling themselves that they could win this thing through the boring certification process. I think it was like, December 14 when all the states had to certify their results. So they held out hope that nothing was over until then. Then they pinned their hopes on the Electoral College, and that there would be enough faithless electors to hand Trump the victory, in spite of the voters. I found this one amusing, since I used to see tumblr suggesting the same thing back in 2016, when they were still trying to come up with ways for Bernie Sanders to win.

Then they decided Mike Pence could fix everything, because on Jan 6, Congress would officially count the Electoral Votes and formally declare the winner, and Mike Pence would step in and overrule the whole thing, because the Vice-President oversees that process. Except he just oversees it, he can’t legally change the outcome, especially on a whim. And then the riot at the Capitol happened, and I’m pretty sure all these Qanon types thought it would mark the beginning of a nationwide uprising, with all seventy-odd million Trump voters going apeshit, but it... didn’t work out that way.

Then they convinced themselves that everything was building to January 20, because the innauguration was actually a clever trap, and once Joe Biden took the oath of office, he could then be arrested for treason, so you see, they had to make it look like Trump lost the election, because it was the only way to fool Joe Biden into incriminating himself... or... something. But Jan 20 came and went, so the latest fallback position I heard was that there’s a double-secret REAL inauguration day, and it’s in March, and the January 20 one isn’t legitimate, even though Trump was inaugurated on January 20, 2016, but whatever. That, or the guy we see in the White House now is actually Trump disguised as Joe Biden, or a Joe Biden android or something.

I think I sort of understood that Qanon is a cult, but I didn’t really put the pieces together until the events of January unfolded. Pre-November, it just seemed like a conspiracy theory, without any real timetables or prophecies, like Flat Earth. But once the end of the Trump Administration was in sight, it really started to look like all the doomsday cults I’ve heard about over the years. The predicted events wind up failing to come true, and they invent new predictions to explain away the old ones. It’s not about the veracity of the claims as much as the claims themselves. People want to believe there’s this whole elaborate explanation for everything. They wanted to believe that Trump was this hypercompetent superheroic messiah, because the alternative is to face the uncertain reality: that he had no idea what he was doing, and real people were going to suffer for it.

I think I sort of worked that idea into my fictional cult, but I backed into it. NXIVM was a sex cult, not a doomsday cult, or an elaborate conspiracy theory, so I was mostly fixated on all the depraved things the cult could do to its members. But they all share the same lure: a belief system that promises to make everything fit. I’m not sure what the hook was for NXIVM, but Allison Mack didn’t go in thinking about how much fun sex trafficking would be. That came later, after she was convinced that NXIVM had all the answers, and one of those answers involved sex crimes, apparently. In the same vein, Qanon attempted to explain mass arrests and executions by claiming that Hilary Clinton eats babies or something. “Well, I don’t want babies to get eaten, so I guess breaking into the Capitol building seems like a reasonable course of action.”

Weighed against real life, a bunch of Saiyans accepting a 100% casualty rate doesn’t seem so outrageous. It also helps that sometimes the leaders of these groups can buy into their own hype, and think they’re infallible when they’re really not. This week, I started reading the Darth Plagueis novel again, and I’ve seen the Sith from Star Wars referred to as a cult, but I never gave it a lot of thought until I noticed that Plagueis buys into the whole Dark Side of the Force thing a little too hard. At times, he’ll wax philosophical about how the Jedi are the real bad guys when you think about it, and he’s not just saying that to be manipulative. He honestly believes that the Sith can save the galaxy from decline, which is stupid and hypocritical, because they’re the ones causing all the decline. I always got the impression that Darth Sidious understood that it was all about accumulating power as an end unto itself, and any high-minded talk of necessary evil was just to keep the rubes in line. Rise of Skywalker plays into that idea nicely. He somehow survived Episode VI, but he let the Empire collapse, because if he can’t rule it, he doesn’t want it to exist at all. But he’s still playing himself, because he thinks he can win by following the same failed ideology that got all the previous Sith Lords killed.

That’s pretty much all I have to say about it right now. I need to move on to other topics, because Towa’s not doing a cult thing, so my fic is moving in a different direction. But I feel better for getting this out of my head.

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dontbesoweirdkira · 5 years ago

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Hi there! Just found your blog and I like it so far. Btw being Present Mics favorite student headcanons were amazing, as a bnha nerd may I request a part 2 where Mic meets readers parents and other stuff? Sorry if my English is bad.

A/N:Thank you so much for liking my blog and choosing to request, that means a whole lot! I got you with the Present Mic headcanons, please let me know if you want any more Present Mic stuff i’m here. I’m sorry this request took so long to come out, i was busy with a few thing please love me

-So i would feel this year would be a lot of fun, just like last year but the only difference being you are working harder towards your hero license and school is becoming much more difficult. This means that you have to up your game with your quirk skills and tactics while staying on top of your studies. You are stressed to say the least.

-Like i said previously present Mic knows when you are having a hard time, believe it or not he is quite attentive and super smart so he quickly asses the situation and realizes a few things. He sees you’re struggling with your quirk and school so he takes matters into his own hands.

-He offers to train you and offers extra help with school to you, he only wants to see you succeed even if that means sacrificing his free time.

-”oh- no no Mr.Hizashi that’s so sweet but i know you’re really busy-”

-”SHHHSHHSHSSJSJ Y/N I SHALL GET YOU THAT HERO LICENSE AND HELP YOU PICK UP YOUR GRADES EVEN IF THAT MEANS RISKING A FEW HOURS OF REST, I CANNOT LOSE TO YAGI AND DEKU- i-i- Mean icareaboutyourhealthandgradesandireallywannahelp”

-tHaT soCCer dAD rIvaLrY iS stiLl haPPeNinG

-Everyday after school you guys meet up at the park or one of the training centers to train for a few hours

-”Now Y/N, breath in and when you breath out use that force to push your quirk-”

-Honestly you thought the training wouldn’t be as hard as it was (it’s Present Mic after all) but boi were you wrong

-”Get up off the ground Y/N, you’ve only been running for .3 seconds”

-”.3 SeCoNdS????? I DID THREE MILES NONSTOP YaMaDA!”

-” hUstLe y/NnNNnN”

-Aizawa comes to your trainings and observes bEcAusE hEs nOSeYy

-He actually helps out and help with things present might not have thought of or isn’t the best at

-This year your relationship with Present actually takes a deeper turn, you find yourself around him more often both in school and after school. You both learn more about each other's quirks and personalities a lot more.

-You thought you already knew a lot about him, given he was like an open book it seemed. But Hizashi is a much deeper and emotional person than you honestly thought and he truly had such a more serious, kindred spirited side to him

-Like sometimes when you guys are taking a break from training he will open up about his life at UA and how it was for him. He told you how he felt kind of odd and awkward and how that’s probably why he can relate to you so so much uwu

-”You know Y/N as much I am super bubbly and “overly confidant” , i still feel super out of place sometimes. I guess i always have it isn’t a new feeling, although I have Aizawa and the other teachers, sometimes I still feel...not understood? If that makes any sense?? But like I totally understand how you feel, and you are not alone...seriously. Thank you for being open to me and allowing me to teach and train you. Kind of makes me feel wanted and useful..haha-”

-iM sOft

-He always thought of you as a little “sidekick” however recently he kind of looks at you as his own daughter and he’s really protective and fatherly over you. He’s more on top of you and making sure all your ducks are in a row. He’s not controlling or anything like that tho so don’t worry

-”Did you eat yet, Y/N?”

-”are you okay Y/N? You look exhausted.”

-”make sure you finish that report for class, okay? If you need any help let me know.”

-pRotEccS yOu fRom bOys

-If he sees a teacher kind of poking at you and making you feel uncomfortable or feel bad for being a “teacher's pet” he will immediately have them stop. He feels bad you have to get crap from him being a bit biased towards you

-You guys have a secret handshake

-HE’S STILL THE BIGGEST cRacK hEAd I swEar

-*crushes you in a hug* “MISS. AMERICAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA WHAAATtattatSSSSSs UpPPPPPPPPPPPp”

-”YO Yo yO AMERiCaAAaAAAA HOw Is IT CrACkINGGGG”

-”YNNNNNNNNN AMErIcAAAA YoUU foRgoT yoUr lUnCH Box iN mY cLaSS *whispers* i put a donut in there for you”

-USES YOU FOR ENGLISH CONVERSATION EXAMPLES IN CLASS ALL THE TIME

-HE EMBArASSES YOU SO MUCH ITS NOT EVEN FUNNY THIS DUDE NEEDS TO SIT TF DOWN AND LET YOU LIVE POOR GIRL

-It’s okay because he lets you skip class to pass out in the library after being exhausted from everything

-You take his weird sunglasses and strut around with them all the time

-”BlUghH I’m a rich fashion model. WAIT OMG HIZASHI ARE THESE CHILDREN SIZED GLASsES?!?!”

-EmaiLS yOU

-” ohiyo americAa,

It’s me MiC and iM waTchING tHat drAmaA you recommended to me and Im cRyING. Also i heard from the sleepy teacher that there may or may not be a pop quiz in his class on last weeks topic...Anyways I’ll see you tomorrow...unless...Nah just joking okay mic is out!

-Hiz

sEnt fRom ToaSter oVeN”

-You get about ten of these things a week from him. help this poor man ;-;

-Made a few youtube videos with him

-He helped you pick out your hero name and outfit, you are so ready to be a hero i swear

-Once you do get your hero license..he is such big boi proud like he’s in tears, snot running out his nose, eyes all puffy and his voice is cracking. He even got you a little teddy bear with a little candy bag attached to it.

-”LOOK LOOOK MR.HIZASHIIIII LOOOK I GOT IT I FINALLY GOT IT THANK YOU SO SO MUCH HIZASHIII I LOVE YOU SO SO MUCH THANK YOU”

-”See kiddo, i knew you could do it!”

-” Pfft all thanks to you!! Oh and Hey, Mr.Hizashi? My parent(s) are coming up this weekend to celebrate me getting my license. I was wondering if you would like to come to dinner? They’d like to personally thank you for helping me.”

-THIS MAN IS THE UTMOST HONORED LIKE LET ME TELL YOU HE SAYS YES IN A HEARTBEAT AND IS AT THE RESTAURANT ON LITERAL TIME

-He somes in a very nice suit with his hair tied into a perfectly neat bun. And is thAT GLasses he’s wearing?????? (so cute omg)

-Him meeting your parent(s) was a pretty chill experience

-”Mr.Hizashi, right? SO NIce to finally meet you and thank you for everything you have done for Y/N.”

-”Ah, it was my pleasure. And please, call me Yamada.”

-At first it was kind of awkward but once the conversation got going, you guys were there for hours

-and i mean HoURs

-”um excuse mE, wHen aRe yoU gUyS lIkE idk LEAVING???”

-Haha but no, the literal talk was just them hyping you up and how the waiter dramatically fell coming over to the table

-”yeS Y/N is such a great kid i can’t believe you raised such a strong and patient daughter”

-”Did he just trip and act like he didn’t just dropped our food on the ground??”

-”One time Y/N tripped and dropped her easy bake cookies and she didn’t even cry, that’s when we knew she was going to be a pro hero.”

-”did he step on the fries and up it on the plate and try to serve it to us???”

-Also your parent(s) grew up around the same time as Present so they had a lot to talk about and it was interesting learning about each other different childhoods and cultures.

-Your parent(s) seriously enjoyed Hizashi and they would love to talk to him again. Vise versa, it was a great time for Hizashi as well and prepare to hear about it the next time you see him.

-”Thank you Y/N for inviting me and allowing me to meet your parent(s) it was very nice getting to know them. Next time they come up, I must treat them out instead.”

BonUs

-Let’s just make up a different scenario where maybe your parents were kind of rude and not as nice and welcoming, both to you Yamada

-When you heard your parents were coming up to visit you in Japan, you were at first excited. You were still in this frenzy of like “wow i got my hero license” so you weren't thinking about it too much plus you were excited about being treated out to dinner and having your favorite teacher tag along.

-Everything was great...that was until you started to think about it more and started to question was that such a great idea?? Let’s just say your parents aren’t the nicest people (person). For some reason it seems like they were never proud of you, no matter how well or bad you literally did.

-Won a championship game? Eh good, but could be better

-4.00 GPA? That’s okay but thousand of kids get that, you have to do better.

-You want to be a pro hero?? Ha in your dreams, that kid next door has a better chance of becoming one than you do.

-You started to realise they were one of the biggest reasons you wanted to exchange to Japan so much. It was far away from them and super peaceful. You wanted to tell Present to not come, but he seemed so excited, and you wanted to tell him how dreaded your parents were. But you didn’t want him to worry and get others involved. So you just hoped and prayed that they would be nice? And everything was okay?

-Everything was okay...for the first five minutes.

-Well everyone greeted each other and sat down to eat, then the condescending comments started to pour in.

-”Yeah, well I think Y/N will make a perfect Hero in the near future. She’s gotten a lot stronger with her quirk and-”

-”Pfft, let’s not get ahead of ourselves now, Although Y/N has gotten her License that doesn’t mean she’s hero material. We watched the sports festival and compared to the other students, she’s severely overshinned. I just don’t think a year or so of training can fix that. She has to do better.”

-For a second hizashi just sat there with his face utter disbelief. How could someone just say that about their child...in front of their child...so camly?

-He looked over towards your uncomfortable figure, your face was colored with complete dismay, He felt so sad and slightly angry. You didn’t look in a position to defend yourself so he started to speak up for you

-”I really hope the both of you are seriously joking.” he snapped back with a sassy firm tone in his voice which made you look towards the three adults

-”No we are not, Y/N is pretty average and for you to put in her head that she could possibly become a Pro? Haha I understand teachers are supposed to be supportive but like come on now, just be honest with yourself.”

-Hizashi slammed his hands against the table, gaining the attention of everyone in the restaurant, including yourself who was previously looking down to avoid confrontation.

-”How DARE you. Y/N is PERFECTLY CAPABLE of becoming a hero, her quirk,skills, technique and intelligence is all was stronger than you can even imagine. Do not downgrade her just because you’re too idiotic and narrowminded to see that. She is the sweetest kid I have ever met and quite frankly the purest. Disgusting how you talk about your own child like that. AND IN FRONT OF HER?? Now with all due respect, I think you guys need to do a self reflection and change the wrongs you have within you. If you need any help i don't mind emailing you a list of things.”

-SKSKSKSKSKSKS WOT???? DID MR.HIZASHI THE ALWAYS HAPPY AND CRACKHEADY TEACHER JUST PUT YOUR PARENTS IN THEIR PLACE???? IN FRONT OF A WHOLE RESTURANT??? BEST. TEACHER. EVER.

-on you still wore an embarrassed kind or dismayed face and when Present say that. hE tHoUghT yOU wErE eIthER mAd oR sCaREd oF Him. cri

-In reality you were literally so joyful and happy. LIKE DUUUDEEE. MARRY ME LOLOL. Seriously you were super thankful that he did that for you.

-He looked around and suddenly realised that all eyes were on him. Aww poor man felt so flustered he didn’t mean to make a fuss and disturb others, he was just so angry your parents were such a*ssholes.

-He turned to you and bowed while simply muttering “I’m sorry Y/N”, then grabbed his coat and walked out.

-Without even thinking you jumped up and rushed out the door with him, leaving your dumbfounded parents at the restaurant

-”m-Mr.Hizashi wait up!” you called out from behind the blonde haired man, he stopped in his tracks then pivoted in place to face you

-”y/n im very sorry to you and your family i didn’t mean any disrespect. I understand if you may not want to be around me any more or allow me to train you.”

-”ARE YOU SERIOUS THAT WAS EPIC LIKE SERIOUSLY THEY HAVE BEEN DOING THIS SINCE I CAn rEMEBER I SWEAR YOU ARE SO AWESOME MRHIZASHI THANK YOU THANK YOU LIKE YOU’RE THE DAD I ALWAYS WANTED I FREAKING LOVE YOU AND DID YOU SEE THEIR FACES HAHA BOOM I CAN'T BELIEVE IT TELL ME I-”

-cutting you off from your frenzy and gave you a big bear hug, “haha don’t ever let what they have said about you ever ring in your head...okay L/N? I belive in you and i know you are going to be fucking great.”

-”Really?” you smiled

-”HECK YEAHHHHH, AMERICAAAAAA”

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bloody-fists-beating-hearts · 5 years ago

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It’s a Fallout76/Bethesda rant

Bethesda just released Fallout 1st, a horseshit pay-to-win subscription system for their absolute cum-bubble of a game, and while it’s getting the flack it deserves there are people already putting on their kneepads so they can gobble down Todd Howards entire turgid cock, and as someone who likes rpg’s way too much this irked me, so have a massive and barely coherent rant i took off the discord because why not.

I want to start off with this: Every good thing about current fallout comes from the fanbase. The stories people tell, the headcanons, the fanfics, the art, everything fans do for it is made with more love, and more thought, than anything Bethesda’s writing and games design team has done in the last 10 years

Now first of all, I haven’t bought or played 76. People are gonna stop me right there and go ”well you haven’t bought it how would you know its bad!!” yeah, I’ve never eaten dog shit either but I can pretty well guess that I ain’t gonna fucking like it.

I knew the second he said "there are no npcs" with actual enthusiasm that this game was gonna be shit. And if you give me 2 seconds to gloat, I never bought the game and I knew this was gonna happen and I was RIGHT so suck my fat hairy nuts all those fanboys who pre-order things mindlessly just because there's a brand name attached to it. If there is anything you take from this its DO NOT PREORDER. BRAND LOYALTY IS FOR BOOMERS AND BOOTLICKERS. FOR FUCKS SAKE BE SMART WITH YOUR MONEY.

Games like this are fucking 80-90 dollars or more in Australia so I actually have to think about whether this momentary distraction is worth almost an entire days paycheck, and I’m still looking for employment which means I actually haven’t bought shit in a while (side note, anyone wants to commission me for 10 dollars I’ll draw damn near anything. God I need to make rent)

Every executive at Bethesda seems to be playing catch-up to EA's monetisation scheme. Beth has abandoned their model of single-player rpg's in favour of a "games as a service" model. Fallout 76 seems to me like its a weird experiment for just how far they can stretch this and still make money. It actually makes me wonder if they are

a) just completely unaware of fanbase response [no idea HOW]

b) are running into financial problems and are doing this out of desperation

c) todd howard is still mad that obsidian made a better fallout than he ever could and he's doing this out of spite

Games as a whole has become much like the movie industry where publishers will throw big buckets of cash around to development teams, and those teams have CEO's and higher ups that throw lavish meet n greets and have nice fancy suits and cars and then treat their development teams like shit, overworking them to the point of exhaustion, because the product has to be on time for release dates that are scheduled to be the most profitable (christmas is a notable one).

And those products are consistently bland, shitty, shallow experiences. Narrative cum-dumpsters that are purposefully made to toe the line as safely as possible, to be open to as wide as an audience as possible so they can make the most money, and Bethesda is a huge offender. Skyrim was fun, sure, but it was watered down to fuck, it had shitty dialogue, it had bland one-note characters, it had a simplified skill system. It was impossible to lose. Seriously, try and fail a fucking quest in skyrim, other than one or two, it's a hand-holder of an rpg, but it has a huge community of fans that put in monumental effort, for free, because they like the Elder Scrolls, and they like the world bethesda made.

Then Bethesda goes "hey, that watered down thing we made got huge! lets release it about 12 more fucking times, with some of the SAME bugs, with the SAME content, with the SAME limitations and Yes, we absolutely expect you to pay for it, again. Then they release the remastered edition which, to their credit, is free to anyone who already bought the legendary edition (on PC), and does actually have updated 64bit capability and some graphical enhancements (that aren't anywhere near what some goober in his basement cooked up in his spare time, but whatever). Then, seeing that Skyrim was so popular, with kids especially, and made money, they turn their sights to fallout 4, a game that was so anticipated that someone made a fake countdown and caused a small meltdown on tumblr/social media when it was revealed to be fake (i was part of that fiasco, i remember the hype, i was there goddamnit)

So Fallout, a franchise that literally has its theme as its FUCKING TAGLINE, an ADULT game that is equal parts crude, gory and humorous. A game that satirises the cold war era of american my-country-tis-of-thee blind loyalty and openly mocks the way war was idealised, and shows that not even the literal end of the world could either stop humanity's lust for blood or its desire for conquest. Games that showed you the growth of the world - from shady sands to the NCR, from the vault dweller to arroyo, shit actually happened in the games, the world didn't just stop turning when the bombs dropped. A game where you you become a porn star for fucks sake, and it's funny.

So Bethesda sees that, makes something like it (fallout 3) which is good, but a little rough around the edges when you look at it too hard. But the way they suck you into the vault, the way they build a relationship with your dad and your way of life is immersive as fuck, so when you leave the place you actually feel like you're leaving something important, not just finishing the tutorial

then they outsource a Fallout game to obsidian, because hey, we saved your franchise by buying it off you, but if you can make an entire game in one year and get a metacritic score of 85 we'll even throw in a bonus. And fuck me sideways and in the ear, if the obsidian devs didn't work themselves harder than a 4-armed hooker. And they made a game that on release was a clusterfuck of bugs, because they were given an unrealistic time limit and missed the metacritic score by ONE POINT so bethesda goes "nhey heh sucks to suck" and fucks them off the franchise forever. EXCEPT (and I admit I'm biased here) the game is good. The game is actually really good when you remove those bugs, and people start forming attachments to it, and mentioning how bad fallout 3's writing is by extension.

So Todd and Co. in his infinite wisdom, decide that the only thing a fallout rpg needs is 50s aesthetic and fuck all else, and he releases a game so watered down it can't even be called an rpg. And its not. There are no skills. There are barely any dialogue checks. Instead of dialogue, Nate/Nora is a flat, samrish individual that is either "yes sir right away sir may i have another", "yes but i'm gonna make an unfunny quip about it" "this option pretends to say no but its gonna give you the quest marker anyway".

The game drops any pretence of difficulty by giving you a deathclaw, a minigun and some power armour in the first 10 minutes, allowing you to effectively reach late-game power levels with some minor scavenging for ammo or cores. Then the game ropes you into some inter-faction war that realistically you wouldn't give a shit about, because some spud in a cowboy hat fucking deputizes you into a military general because you shot like 4 raiders from a rooftop (with a minigun. in power armour. making you nigh-invulnerable to bullets). You're sad about your son about 3 times the whole game and then you're on your merry way to mowing down humans left right and center without a care in the world. God fallout 4's writing is so stupid it gives me an aneurysm.

Remember the part about resources wars and america only having the veneer of a strong country while riots, inflation, and resource shortages tore it apart from within? Bethesda doesn't, have an eerily stepford pastel coloured glimpse at a world that was totally fine, nothing wrong here, shame it got nuked oh well moving on

Your spouse? yeah you love them, they're said 2 whole sentences to you then they died, be sad because you totally loved them and it is totally sad that they are dead. Your weird play-dough son shaun, you love him so much, you even tickled him on the chin once, okay he's gone off you go to chase him - woah now, don't chase him too hard we have all these side quests for you to do! What would be the narrative reasoning for a supposedly distraught parent to fuck around boston instead of finding their goddamn child? fuck knows! just go pick up some goddamn wood and get to base building sonny-jim!

Companions? yeah, they're fun, we gave them a romance questline and it's thus: if you pick enough locks and pass a minor charisma check maccready will be ready and willing to tell you about his sick child, and then he'll ride you like a stallion. Talk to him like, 4 times, and he will be your bosom buddy for life in about 3-5 days if you just pick locks like a fucking madman, because character growth is hard and counting beans is easy.

Also your son is a part of the faction we were talking about! something about synths, remember that one questline from rivet city that barely anyone actually remembers and was an interesting time waster at best? Well get ready to do that same quest but about! 15! more! times! because we could not think of anything else to write about synthetically produced humans that assume peoples identities other than having them as a hamfisted metaphor for slavery. Why do they take over people's identies? Well because the institute needs them to aasdkfjdh kshshshsh t9oe of course.

Speaking of hamfisted metaphors, here's the underground railroad, named after the underground railroad that actually mattered, except this time its the same thing but synths. They are so top secret that the only way to find them is to follow the only bright red line in a street that is exclusively green-brown otherwise, and then enter their super secret password, which is "password"

They are then, like every other faction, absolutely willing to trust you, at face value, no questions asked, because have to actually do something or require a skill check might make this hard for people under the age of 12 to play. Then you go do whatever fuckin shit you do, I stopped playing at this point, and then you find out your son is actually 60, you guys have a tearful, 10 sentence reunion, then he diesthe whole reason you were out here in the first place dies, and you react appropriately, which is to say you say his name really sadly, and then go back to mowing down raiders with reckless abandon

And then 76 gets released, bethesda drops all pretense of fallout still being an rpg. You want a story? Fuck you, pay up. Its retro future and thats all that makes falloutSatirizing war mongering? You can nuke things in this game and its totally fine, its actually the goal, because fallout has nukes in it right? Pay us 10 dollars and you get army olive drab spraypaint because hurrgh war is fun and great, wasnt that the tagline from the first game?The more i rant the more angry i am because people put their heart and soul into writing this. The lore and dialogue is actual work that someone researched and loved and felt proud of and now it's becoming a hilariously meta parody of itself.

Honestly FUCK bethesda and and fuck todd howard for his pisspoor cash grab. Not even worth calling it a video game anymore

#good lord what is happening in there #meta #listen i fucking love fallout #but this aint fuckin it chief #fallout #fallout 4 #fallout 76 #fallout 3 #fallout new vegas

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tracykestler · 5 years ago

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36 and what a world I have seen

Honestly I’ve been terrible at journalling lately. Love handwriting in quill and ink style, but my current life leaves me exhausted after work and most of my time spent in education. But currently the Covid-19 pandemic made me consider the important world events I have witnessed.

Born in 1984 I lived in a world of rapidly changing technology but still being forced outside to play. We always had an Apple computer in our house for as long as I can remember. Played the Oregon Trail in black and white, then in color. That was the standard computer game of my childhood. Mom got us Mario Teaches Typing, probably the only “video game” I ever played at that point. AOL was a thing. All those CDs in the mail with updates. I never really got into it, but my twin sister did.

Also a child of the Disney Golden Age of animation. Dramatically influenced my life to the point I went to work for Walt Disney World after college. Still a Disney fanatic to this day.

Apparently my family visited Yellowstone National park (age 4? too young to remember anyway) then not too long after the park had the fire.

Was alive though not conscious of world events when the Berlin Wall fell. Watch the birth of CNN during the first Desert Storm when my dad was there overseeing some of the first drone flights. The military required a pilot on hand for those flights. He told us later how some Iraqis would surrender to the drone plane, not that it was ever one of the ones he supervised. And according to my mom I frequently asked to NOT watch the 24 hour stream of news because it was too depressing and I knew that’s where dad was.

Really started to pay attention to news (not that l enjoyed it but that’s the timeline for how chidden develop) during the O.J. Simpson trial.

By that point I had lived on both coasts of the USA, crossed country twice, lived in many different environments from Washington’s cold wet seasons to California’s deserts California’s coast to landlocked suburbia of Georgia.

Where I learned to drive, had a single Nokia phone for me and my twin in our tiny Cabrio convertible (I hate convertibles). Got a personal computer for the first time, where before it was a single family computer. The iMacs were coming out right when we were heading to college. My sister got the desktop, I got the laptop and have never looked back. Still have my gumstick shuffle iPod floating around and it still works.

Got to watch the insanity of Indecision 2000 and appreciate political humor for the first time.

I’ve been to 9 different schools for 12 years of school, not including college. That would make it ten. Was a freshman in high school when the Columbine shootings happened. Some weeks later we had a pipe bomb threat at our school which forced all the students out to the football field. From the top of the bleachers we could see the bomb squad and their dogs entering the school. All I could think of was if someone really wanted to kill at lot of people, there on the bleachers would be the place to do it. Then at some point in my adult life someone did it at a movie theater showing The Dark Knight.

Saw the images of the Oklahoma City bombing. Heard about the Unabomber. Watched the Waco Texas incident.

But my senior year was the time of 9/11. My math class was out in the hallway doing a math related science type experiment, can’t tell you what it was. But that day was the only day I have ever heard a school of nearly 5,000 students absolutely silent during class change. Thus Desert Storm part two happened.

Right before I headed off to college. So I wasn’t super savvy about applying to colleges. I only applied to one. Didn’t have a clue as to what I wanted to do with my life. I’ve done a wide variety of sports, been writing fiction since at least 10 years old, drew and painted fairly well, thought about doing animation or architecture (did a semester learning thing with a local firm, decided it wasn’t for me).

Ended up getting a degree in two foreign languages but not fluent in either. It did greatly improve my understanding of the English language. And I had the privilege of an exchange program for a school year to Japan, plus of study abroad summer to Germany. Would never regret any of that. Even if it didn’t get me a degree that got me a job.

Instead I went to Disney World as part of their internship program. Been in foods and hospitality for a significant portion of my life (thus far). Loved working there. Got to work with the Characters and it was fabulous. Even with the frustrations of all work environments.

But it couldn’t last. Minimum wage was raised, but the cost of living out stripped the earnings for a single person living alone. Prompting a move back home with parents to get another degree. Then the Housing bubble burst, loans defaulted, mortgage crisis, resulting in the Great Recession. It did get me a house in my name but basically an income property for my mom as her inheritance from my grandmother. All the while I’m going to school to be a nurse.

Now let’s not forget about the many weather crises I’ve witnessed via the news. Hurricanes Katrina, Sandy, Harvey, Maria to name the ones I easily remember. The Class 5 tornado that wiped out a midwestern town. The volcano in Iceland rerouting planes. The tsunami in Indonesia and Sumatra. The massive earthquake in Haiti. These are only the ones that easily come to mind without researching what happened during the years I’ve been alive.

Not to mention the diseases that I’ve seen via the news. First to mind was the Ebola outbreak while I was in nursing school. Saw the hype on the Swine Flue, SARS, Avian flu to name a few easily remembered. Those never reached me personally. Now it’s Covid-19 unfolding. Called SARS-CoV-19 now, but that later.

But its not all disasters. Went to the Atlanta Centennial Olympics still have the t-shirt. Was alive during the first black president.

Took part in the massive phenomena that was Harry Potter and still love it to this day. It showed me that fiction/fantasy could be a mainstream genre to write for. I started writing FanFiction at that time to fill in the long spaces between books. Started when fan fiction.net had the 7or 8 main characters to choose from for tagging. It was like the Wild West of figuring out what you were about to read. Learned about Slash, yaoi, lemons and such the hard way. But being exposed to it that way did open my eyes to what goes on in other people’s heads. Knew immediately that just because I didn’t like something didn't mean I had to hate on it. I left it alone once found and kept going. Really helped increase my tolerance to other cultures and thoughts.

Met my best friend on a role playing site and we wrote nonstop during our college years. Went to her wedding, have a lovely Renaissance style dress as a bridesmaid gift. Still am in touch with her. We don’t write together any more as we have moved in our lives with adulting. But I still have all those stories and hope to turn them into something.

Had my first camera cell phone in Japan as just a basic free phone. Was shocked to find cameras in the States were not standard. One of my friends in Japan kept doing selfies before they were called selfies. Blind positioning of the camera for pictures. Then came the iPhone and the world never looked back.

Joined Facebook when it required a college email. Used MSN messenger and Yahoo messenger to communicate with people around the world. Didn’t join the Twitter or Tumblr movement until after they became established. Saw the boom and bust of the Dot.Com bubble. Watched the Dow Jones numbers increase without the income to invest the way they said to.

Lived right above the poverty line during the Recession. Not knowing if I could make it the next month. Never being able to claim poverty on the tax forms. Caught in the income dead space of not being able to afford health insurance from the markets but in a state that didn’t allow for Medicaid expansion.

But I do not have the worry now thankfully.

Jobs wise I’ve been a telemarketer, dishwasher, a line cook, a hostess, server, janitor, assistant manager, and now I’m a nurse. I started on med/surg, ED, Cardiac, and ICU. In a small rural hospital getting smaller in a time when rural were shutting down because of no funding. They serve areas with a high rates of unemployment, uninsured, drug and alcohol abuse.

Worked at a busier hospital were no bed was left empty. Sicker patients. Work in a mid-size place. Some days super busy, some slower.

Covid-19 had the affect of somehow doing both. First few days was almost empty, now it fluctuates. Mostly rule outs. And the protocols are changing hourly which makes life frustrating for us. It’s the constant unspoken threat of going into work not knowing if you’ll have the right equipment to do the job. I’m not scared of the virus itself, not even of the collapse of the economy. I’m scared of the surge that will put my coworkers at risk.

I live alone (my little sister lives with me now) so very little contact with others. But they have kids and a much closer physical distance to their older parents. I know I will add days to my weeks if they have to stay out for any length of time.

So this is the first time a world event as truly affected me. It is a terrifying time which prompted this summary of my life so far.

I went into a restaurant and saw no one. I never thought I’d see that day. I don’t want people to loose their income, but if people were to go about their daily activities we would loose so many in one go. All I can do is my job.

The more I watch the more depressed and stressed. At work is worse.

I’m teaching myself a new craft because of this. I have taken up leather working to make masks. It helps the creativity outlet. I started drawing class early in 2020 and was set to continue drawing and add painting when the social distancing started. I admit it felt overblown in the beginning. Now the numbers are changing rapidly and we are really seeing what happens in close communities. Just keep working. It’s part of life now. No matter how much if feels like a movie plot line.

But back to other things I’ve seen.

LGTBQA and others coming into the forefront of society. Saw legalization of gay marriage. Quite thrilled with that.

Didn’t hear the term Asexual in reference to a sexual preference until my early 20s. Immediately recognized similar stories to me. Never had an interest in sex or having a partner. A name did make things more relatable, but I will never fully understand people who seem to base their entire existence on their sexual preference.

I’ve been call sir many times based on how I dress. I still sound like a female. Can’t fault anyone for using the appropriate pronoun for what they see in front of them. But that’s a culture that’s growing. Preferred pronouns. But I have to admit that an online friend referred to me as “they” despite a lady being in my username and it felt nice. So in honor of the Special Snowflake term that floated around, I’m an nonbinary aromantic asexual. Probably with a fem-romanitic leaning.

Saw the rise of the Millennials. I’m caught between Gen X and the Millennials. Now that all the Millennials are of age to vote, perhaps change is underway?

I’m back in college for my 3rd and then 4th degree. In nursing. Online. Watching the world combat a virus.

A US that is split down the middle politically. A world with more pollution problems than we can handle. Governments preferring to coverup mistakes and corruption than help their citizens. The term Public Servant is obviously not taken seriously in some places. See Flint, MI and their water. Lobbyists creating bills that benefit corporations rather than people. Politicians that never retire and keep getting lucrative reelection donations from those very corporations.

The rise of narcotic drug use, prescription drugs. Pill mills.

Sex scandals taking center stage in the news rather than things that actually affect daily life. Among things I will never understand is the fear of Transgender women in the women’s restrooms when it was always a straight conservative man who was the center of all these sex scandals.

Asexual brain at work. I simply do not understand. Conclusion: If you look like a certain gender, you’ll most often be treated as that gender.

What I do miss were the kid shows and cartoons in the 90s. They were super progressive with great literature themes. I knew the story of some of the greatest classic literature simply by the references in those shows.

Also the era of War on Drug commercials. Recycling promoted.

My favorite: Captain Planet. Not only was it pushing for a cleaner earth it had different nationalities. Stereotypical, but a far better representation than what I am seeing in kids shows today. It was diverse in that multiple skin tones were seen on screen together rather than specific skin tones marketed to that specific demographic. Now I do like how many more cultures are represented, I just want them shown in ways where color and culture is not the primary focus.

It also surged a desire to protect the planet. The knowledge that we need clean water and air. Educational shows like Magic School Bus and Bill Nye explained what is happening in the environment long before Global Warming became political. With the global shut in we see the world cleansing itself.

Now the marijuana legalization issue. No one has died from overdosing on weed. Unlike Alcohol. Yes smoke isn’t good for your health like cigarettes, but the complications are not as prevalent, well studied, or as life threatening with what is known. The disconnect of state legalization and national illegalities is mind blowing. I hope to see that break so we can study it.

Overall I know I have seen a lot of historical events and I hope to live another 36 plus years to see more. 3 decades, the change of a century and the change of the millennia. Y2K hysteria included.

The world is changing. The outcome is unknown. Peace be upon us all.

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saltpepperbeard · 7 years ago

Text

**REWRITE** These Words are a Lie ~A Joshifer Fanfiction~ Chapter Two

A/N: Holy moly does it feel weird to write that title again. But hello everyone! This may seem a bit odd, but trust me, this has been a long time coming. I was super hyped when I published chapter two back in 2015. Over the years however, the chapter has gotten uglier and uglier to me, the characterization/motivation just BEGGING to be fixed. And of course very recently, my writing motivation has returned home from war lol. So naturally, I FINALLY decided to rewrite this chapter as a fun little exercise!

I have to say that I’m much happier with how it turned out. It ended up longer than the original of course; no surprise there lol. But I’m really glad I did this, and I had so much fun diving back into the TWAAL universe again! (And yes the banner got a glow up too lol)

Disclaimer: This chapter contains strong language and explicit sexual content.

The original/old chapter two can be found here [x]

All chapters can be found here [x]

And without further adooooo....

After a plethora of love-soaked reveries and heated dreams, I awake with a start. It takes me a moment to come to terms with where I am, come to terms with reality. The second I do, I’m met with a lifting relief and a crushing sadness.

The clock on the night stand reads 3 AM, and I’m still in my Berlin hotel room, Josh asleep in bed beside me. I’m so happy he’s here. His presence alone takes a giant weight off my shoulders. His presence alone hoists me away from all the bullshit I’ve dealt with for the past few weeks. It reminds me that life is hopefully headed in a simpler, happier direction, one where my ex isn’t constricting me.

Losing Nick however, and having Josh to fill the holes, unfortunately has problems of its own. Looking at him as my best friend, Josh does wonders with making me feel better. He always knows how to make me smile, always knows what to say, and always makes me feel like I’m home. I suppose he’s a little too good at making me feel better, because even to this day, he still surpasses the “best friend” title in my heart.

After everything we’ve been through, after all the twists and turns our lives have taken, I still long for him like nothing else.

The thought is amazing, but so incredibly frustrating.

I’m away from Nick, sure. But I wish I could undo even more. I wish I could go back to our first break up and never look back from then on. I wish I could go back to Hawaii and fully commit to who I’ve deeply loved after all this time.

But I can’t. The damage has been done. And now I’m stuck here in limbo.

A long sigh slips from my nose as I eye Josh in the darkness. Even though he’s turned away from me, he looks absolutely conked out, his body sagging heavily into the mattress. My expression shifts to a sad ghost of a smile as I continue to stare, the dreams picking back up even in my wakeful state.

What would it be like if Josh was lying in bed beside me not as my friend, but as my partner...

What would it be like if Josh and I had spent the night peppering each other with kisses instead of platonic hugs...

What would it be like if Josh and I had fallen deep into each other and fucked the night away...

I sit up a bit more with alarm, almost feeling ashamed of myself for having such a thought cross my brain.

God, I’m such a mess. My emotions and composure are really such a mess.

Any sane woman wouldn’t jump from guy to guy like this. Although, perhaps I never fully “jumped” from the start. Nick and I definitely weren’t in love weeks ago, months ago. Anything we did wasn’t even remotely genuine. What I’m thinking about Josh however...

I bite my lip and decide that a bit of fresh air might do me good. I definitely need to clear my head.

As carefully and quietly as I can manage, I roll out of bed and head out onto the balcony. The cool night air is instantly refreshing, and I greedily inhale deep lungfuls as I attempt to calm myself down. I focus on anything and everything that can distract me from thinking about the man still asleep in my bed. The Berlin traffic down below, the gentle whisper of a breeze in my ears, the sound of the sliding door opening behind me...

A bolt goes up my spine, followed by a slight sense of dread. Guess distracting myself isn’t in the cards for tonight.

Another sigh huffs from my nose, and I pivot to see a very sleepy Josh, still rubbing the exhaustion out of his eyes as he steps on to the balcony with me.

“Hey...” he murmurs, his voice thick and raspy.

“Hey...” I whisper back.

“What are you doing up?” he asks, moving to stand by my side.

I chew my lip nervously, avoiding both his gaze and question as I turn to look over the city below.

“Just couldn’t...sleep I guess.”

Josh seems to consider this, a slight silence following my answer, before he continues.

“A lot on your mind still?”

“You have no idea...”

Another pause. And consequently, without either of us saying anything, my thoughts begin to whirl.

God, I wish I could tell him. I wish I could tell him everything, tell him the truth. I wish I could be perfectly open and honest with my feelings, and have everything work out just the way I want it to.

But I’m stuck. I’m trapped. And there’s no telling when things will come out.

I grasp the edge of the balcony, the metal cool against my fingers. Just when I’m about to truly spiral, a gentle hand against my back shifts things, if only for a moment. Josh rubbing soft circles silently comforts me, but then sends my thoughts reeling once more.

He’s such a great friend.

He’s such an amazing person.

He’s an absolutely perfect man.

God, I love him so much.

My grip turns so hard that my knuckles begin to white out, tears threatening to build in my eyes. I must tense up as well, because the hand against my back slows to a halt.

“You okay?”

I nod, but the moisture I was fighting to keep away ends up pooling in my vision.

“Jen...” Josh murmurs, his tone a bit more solemn.

Just like earlier, just like when he came into my room, he breaches the barrier of my composure. Because when I turn to look at him and open my mouth, all that comes out is a sob, followed by streams of tears.

This time though, he doesn’t say anything. His face falls, his mouth setting into a tight line, before he simply holds his arms out for me to fill. I do so without question.

He holds me tightly as I cry for everything I’ve lost, everything that could have been. Though I’m so incredibly fortunate to have him in my life, call me selfish, but I want more. I want all that he is.

“I hate seeing you like this,” he murmurs, breaking me out of my thoughts, “Everything will be alright, Jen...It’ll get better...”

I could cringe at those words, giving a few more sobs into his shoulder.

“I just want everything to be...simple for once, you know? I want everything to just...fall into place...”

He lets out a sigh against me, nuzzling his head against mine. He allows me more time to cry, more time to get my more extreme emotions out, before I can practically feel his demeanor change. He perks up a bit, his entire form running warm and sunny against my stormy attitude. When he leans back a bit, I cannot help but follow, pulling away a tad to catch his eye.

“Well,” he starts, and I cannot help but notice the twinkle in his gaze, “I don’t know if I can mess with how your life unfolds. Manipulating time and space wasn’t included in acting training.”

Despite my tears, I let out a snort, one that’s enough to bring out the crooked grin I’ve fallen in love with over the years.

“But I can however, at least try and make things a bit better tonight?”

He then reaches up with a hand to brush a few of my tears away, his thumb gently swiping across my cheek. It’s enough to bring my smile back, which only intensifies his.

“So since we’re already up, how about weeee order some food and drinks through room service, put on a shitty movie, and...stay up until things fall more into place?”

I laugh despite myself, despite everything still circulating around through my head.

“You’re an idiot, Joshy...It’s three in the morning...”

“I didn’t hear an answer,” he chuckles.

I give a shaky inhale, contemplating if it’s wise to interact with him more in such a state. But who knows; it might be beneficial to spend the night with him as a friend, and break myself out of the thirsting cycle I’ve got going on.

Anything’s better than lying awake trapped in my thoughts anyway.

So pushing my hesitance aside, I sniffle and return his smile.

“Yeah...Let’s do that.”

xXx

We go back into the room, and it isn’t long before we’re surrounded by various forms of alcohol, munchies, and movies. I’m quick to turn to drinks to numb myself, to white out my mind, getting buzzed faster than I planned to. While he initially gives me shit for using alcohol to cope, teasingly calling me Haymitch and what not, it doesn’t take Josh long to follow.

We laugh and talk, eat and drink, attempting to pay attention to the chosen movies as much as possible but barely doing so. The entertainment is more between us, a stream of drunken jokes and jabs pouring out of us.

It’s just what the doctor ordered, spending time with him like this. It’s just the two of us acting like idiots in their twenties. It puts me in my place.

Three turns to four, and four turns into five. Though the booze continues to run rampant in our systems, we begin to wind down a bit, flopping against the bed and trying to focus more on the television.

And just like usual, the whole friendship element begins to chip away, something far stronger attempting to win me over. Just when I happen to be at my utmost weakest as well.

In my state of growing mental and physical exhaustion, I find myself laying against Josh, my arm thrown messily across his chest and my head atop his shoulder. He holds me in a loose embrace, the two of us quieting down as we try our best to watch whatever’s on the TV.

“I needed this...” I murmur after a bit of a pause.

“I know you did. How are you feeling?”

“Reaaaaaallly good,” I reply, my voice clearly coated with liquor.

Josh snorts, before laughing a bit at my intoxicated state.

“Glad to hear it. Sorry if you wake up with a headache tomorrow, though,” he chuckles.

“Whatever. I was probably going to have one anyway.”

He chuckles a bit again, before snuggling closer and starting to rub my back once more. I let out a long breath and relax even further against him, getting lost in his touch and comfort.

A bit too lost I suppose, because before I can even process what I’m doing, I press a soft kiss to his chest, my lips brushing against his skin. It’s a silent thanks for everything. It’s a hint of my longing towards him. It’s definitely not how two friends should be acting.

My logic eventually catches back up, and a bolt of fear runs down my spine. God dammit, I’m slipping. I’m slipping something terrible. I can feel the alcohol washing away any and all self-control I may have. I can’t fuck things up for us. Not again. No matter how much I may want to, he’s my friend. He’s...

My argumentative thoughts are cut short by Josh’s hand stilling on my back. I hold my breath, wincing as I prepare for him to question my motives. Oddly enough, he does the exact opposite of what I expect; he leans down and presses a gentle kiss against my temple.

God, I love it. It sets me completely alight, warmth shooting from where his lips touched my skin to every nook and cranny of my body.

Josh and I have always been a bit more physically affectionate with each other. Platonic kisses have never really been out of the question. But with my current circumstances, in my current state of mind, a simple kiss takes me to a whole different state of being.

It rekindles my romantic thoughts. It makes me want to kiss him until the sun comes up, until the liquor runs dry. It makes me want to get locked in his embrace and never come out. It makes me want to smother him with all the pent up love I’ve been accumulating over the past few months, past few years.

And of course with love, stronger, more salacious thoughts are quick to follow...

My breath catches, soft shivers beginning to course through me. It’s like I physically have to hold myself back from falling victim and completely ravishing him. I have to aggressively restrain my impulsive side, my eager side, and hold on desperately to my more logical, calm thoughts.

But as the warmth spreads, it gets harder, and harder, and harder, and harder.

I have to come up for air, pushing myself up off of Josh and sitting beside him instead. I avoid his gaze for a moment, attempting to reign myself back in with deep, collected breaths. I’m almost about to leap off the bed and take some time to myself, to ensure I don’t do anything stupid.

When I chance a glance at Josh however, when blue looks into warm, wonderful hazel, I lose it. I lose everything.

His stare appears to be soft, loving, curious. And if I didn’t know any better, I’d almost say his pupils are quite enlarged, like he’s gazing upon me with the same desires...

I shut my eyes, trying so hard to hang on to whatever composure I have left. But I can still see him behind shut eyelids, and so I feel the last bit of willpower crack into pieces, a subsequent twitch rolling through me.

My breaths turn shaky, and I open my eyes so I can reach forward and cup Josh’s jaw, desperately begging him to help set me straight.

But he doesn’t. I don’t see any hint of confusion, disgust, or any other negative emotions really. He just continues to look at me with those enticing, handsome eyes of his.

“Fuck...”

My whisper comes out slightly pained, slightly ashamed. That doesn’t stop me from leaning forward though, everything directing me to get what I want.

“Fuck, Josh...” I whimper, almost in a sort of messed up apology before I pounce.

And pounce I do.

It’s like time skips forward; maybe we do have the ability to manipulate it after all. Because in one second, I’m still hesitating, and in the next, I’m crushing my lips to the mouth of the man I truly desire.

It’s heaven. It’s everything. I haven’t kissed him this way in so long. All of our more recent kisses have been for the cameras. I haven’t had him all to myself like this in what seems like an eternity.

It’s almost like my lips were made for his, gliding and sliding perfectly through them. His lips and stubble provide a wonderful mixture of velvety soft and scratchy gruffness that I grow all the more lightheaded, all the more eager to drink him in.

As I greedily kiss him however, as I suck and smack and coax, he doesn’t appear to be doing the same. And when I realize my actions aren’t being reciprocated, I snap a bit more to my senses, a slew of worry flowing through me.

He doesn’t want it. I was just convincing myself otherwise. I threw myself onto him without him feeling the same way. The alcohol painted lies and fed me with false hope.

I almost start to panic, and though it pains me to do so, I start to lean away to break our beautiful connection. Josh has always been one for surprises though; instead of letting me go, he finally comes to and chases after my mouth.

I could almost cry from his silent permission, the kiss entirely mutual now. And so I eagerly hop right back in, gaping against him and hoping he follows my lead. He does, joining me in the lascivious, messy, amazing kiss.

Our lips meet and clash in a continuous stream, like we’re just as desperate to get that forbidden taste from each other. When his hands reach up to frame my face, tugging me even closer to him, I cannot help myself; I begin to moan and whimper through each advance.

It was stupid to think that I would be satisfied by just a good make out session alone. Because sure enough, the deeper and deeper we kiss, the hungrier and hungrier I get. I quickly start to crave more, quickly start to want to connect with Josh in every way, shape, and form.

God, if I could fully have him tonight...

Caught up in the moment, in my emotions, in my intoxication, I need him. I need a taste of what could have been. I want to experience this with him before it’s all ripped away again; the universe never seems to bring us properly together.

So naturally, stubbornly, I want to take advantage of what’s happening here and now. I want to go through with what we’re both feeling.

Though every part of me is already on fire, my pelvis completely goes ablaze, raging the strongest of all. It practically takes hold of the rest of my body, leading me to climb onto Josh’s lap, straddling him as our kiss continues. He groans as I do so, but suddenly, he begins to slow down, not returning my advances as much.

“Josh...” I whimper against his mouth, breaking our seal to pepper his jawline with kisses and nips.

Again, he vocalizes, letting out a heavy sigh. But he doesn’t chase after me like I thought. He seems to still even more.

“Josh, I want you...” I whisper into his skin, solidifying my desires.

Another heavy sigh puffs from his lungs, and his hands creep up to my shoulders, pushing me slightly.

“I...I can’t...” he heaves.

My heart flips within my chest, and I quickly go back to kissing him, attempting to rekindle his spark.

“Shhh, you can...” I murmur into him.

“Jen...”

Now he chooses to be persistent. Now he chooses to stop us. He gives my shoulders a harder push, guiding me off his lap and onto the bed again. When I look into his eyes, I see the same pain, the same look of attempted self control, that I was showcasing earlier.

“No...We have to stop.”

I open my mouth to argue back, before floundering and biting my lip instead.

“It’s not a good time right now,” he continues, panting softly.

“Josh...” I start, stubbornly trying to keep things going, despite being well aware of the consequences, “There’d be no repercussions, no problems. And definitely no regrets from my end.”

“I’ve heard that before...”

My heart sinks into my stomach, his words transporting me back to years prior. When we were crazy for one another. When things were just as complicated. When we fell victim to such deep intimacy that we came out hurt on the other end.

A slight glaze of tears well up in my eyes. I just want him without problems. I want him freely. I want him without having to worry about a care in the world.

“Josh...Please, I...”

“Jen,” he starts again, cutting me off, “You’re not in a good head space right now. You need some time to process everything. I think we both do. So how about we just...take it down a few notches?”

I let out a shivering sigh, looking down and preparing to accept defeat. It’s at that moment though, that I notice a very telltale sign of arousal. There’s an unmistakable, definitely difficult to ignore bulge in Josh’s pants, the fabric practically tenting with his erection. I bite my lip, feeling myself clench down below. Josh must follow my gaze and read my thoughts, because I hear him inhale so sharply that it could cut right through the sexual tension.

Slowly, my eyes travel back up to meet his, the air growing hotter and hotter between us. We share a simmering stare, our eyes both swirling with dark lust. But Josh somehow manages to cut it off, closing his eyes and swallowing hard.

“No...” he groans, slightly shaking his head, “No...”

And proving that he’s the stronger-willed individual, he pushes himself off the bed, grasping the back of his neck as he begins to walk away.

“I just...Give me some time alone, okay?”

With that, he departs towards the balcony, leaving me alone, frustrated, and increasingly ashamed of myself.

“I’m...I’m sorry,” I attempt to say to him, but my voice comes out in a barely audible whisper.

I feel crushed. I feel sad all over again. It’s like a painful reminder that Josh and I will never be, were never meant to be together.

Before I can feel too sorry for myself and break down completely, I decide to go into the bathroom and shower. I feel like I need to wash all of this, wash all of my emotion, completely away. And I’m sure the warm water will feel soothing in Josh’s cold absence.

I walk into the bathroom and shut the door, not bothering to lock it behind me. I’m sure Josh will leave once he collects himself anyway. I strip away all my clothing, and pause for a moment to grasp the counter, eyeing myself down in the mirror.

My appearance matches what I’m feeling inside; disheveled, chaotic, and upset. I blow out a long breath and hang my head, cursing at how everything currently is. But I can’t control anything. I can’t do anything about it. So after a moment, I simply prepare myself to step into the shower. A distant call of my name freezes me solid.

“Jen?”

I can’t bring myself to answer him. I fear what follows will be something along the lines of “I’m leaving for the night.” And I can’t have that. I don’t want him to go. I refuse to believe I’ve messed up things further. I can’t.

My name leaving his lips draws closer, and closer. Even when he’s right outside the door, I bite my lip, unable to find the strength to reply. But to my surprise, he barges into the bathroom without caution, practically throwing himself into the room.

“J-...Oh, fuck...”

I can practically feel his stare, his eyes leaving small fires as he flits them over my bare form. Without the slightest bit of shame or embarrassment, I turn to face him, perhaps even flaunting my body a tad. And I find a very frustrated, very handsome, very hard Josh in the doorway.

I watch him curiously, and admittedly delight, as the last bits of his composure come crashing down. He practically falls against the wall, nostrils flaring, eyes squeezing, biting the back of his hand as he fights to the end. I can hear him groaning and letting out a slew of expletives, my heart speeding up as I watch. I reach out with my mind and figuratively wrap my flames around him, enticing him to come back on the same plane of passion.

“You...You drive me insane, you know that?” he grumbles against his skin.

“I know.”

He lets out a series of sharp breaths, before he finally makes eye contact again; but not without giving my nakedness another sweep.

“Dammit,” he whispers, “...No repercussions?”

My heart flips within me, practically skipping beats at his question. We’re so close to having each other. So so close.

“No repercussions,” I breathe, “I promise.”

“This is stupid...”

“Probably.”

He gives me one last look, and then I visibly see the final walls come down, his body slacking as he gives in to his wants a well.

“Fuck it; c’mere, Jen...”

He doesn’t have to tell me twice.

I skate across the tile, my feet barely touching the floor as I rush to him. And in seconds, I’m eagerly pressing my body into his, locking us into another kiss. He moans and I capture it, before sending the noise back, mewling my utmost need. Having him like this, kissing him so deeply, feeling his erection pressing into me...

I instantly go lightheaded with lust, my body and mind a bursting firework of emotion and feeling.

He must want this as much as I do, because without really giving us time to kiss, he’s leading me backwards and out of the bathroom. I eagerly chase after him, continuing to claim his mouth as we go along, excitement and anticipation rushing through my veins.

We quickly weave back into the bedroom, and the moment we reach the bed, he pivots me so I’m poised against the edge, sitting against it. I’m immediately on the same page as him, and spread my legs wide open with a sigh, welcoming him to be as close as humanly possible. The air quickly perfumes with my scent, and I watch as his eyes roll, taking every bit of me in.

He takes my invitation and steps up between my legs, fiddling with his drawstring pants. In his desperation, our desperation, he pushes both his pants and boxers down just enough to allow his length to spring out.

I take a moment to appreciate him, sighing and smiling at how large he is, at how ready he is for me.

He returns the expression, grinning crookedly, dirtily. I watch with interest and admiration as he takes himself in a hand, pumping a few times with subsequent grunts from his throat. I take my bottom lip into my mouth, before brazenly taking him as well, wrapping my fingers around his length. He lets out a hissing noise through his teeth, which shifts into a groan as I tug him forwards, leading him to my entrance.

I rub his head through my damp, swollen folds, shutting my eyes and savoring the feeling. We both let out moans and gasps, before Josh takes over, giving a small thrust of his hips and nestling the tip of his erection into my depths.

“You want this?” he growls, “You really want-”

“Don’t talk; just fuck me,” I breathe, wrapping a hand around his neck and pressing him to get on with it.

A visible shudder rolls down his form, his eyes rolling slightly once more. When he doesn’t immediately take me, I give the situation more fuel by adding, “...Hard.”

And with that, he brazenly latches his mouth to my neck, and sheathes himself deep inside me with a strong, fluid thrust.

Instantly, I see stars. Just from his entrance alone, I already want to scream in pleasure, my body completely at his mercy. It is absolutely astounding, the difference it makes when I’m experiencing this with a man I truly adore. After years of waiting, years of wanting, it feels like nothing else I’ve experienced before.

Josh goes through with my request. He doesn’t give me time to process things. Right after his initial thrust, he takes me carnally, driving his pelvis into mine again and again. We both sing out our pleasures, utterly delirious with the feelings we’re granting each other. He stretches and pounds me perfectly, and I swallow him up and clench around him with equal precision.

It feels right. It feels so right. It’s like each thrust erases reality away, hoisting me to a place where it’s just Josh and I. It’s like each movement deep within is Josh taking me back, claiming me as his once more. It’s like each hard shove of his length slowly turns the tables back to Hawaii, erasing every trace of my ex and going back to a time where Josh was my only focus.

It’s extraordinary. It’s everything I’ve wanted for the longest time. I could live in it forever.

“Mmmm fuck,” Josh’s pleasured grunt sounds, breaking me out of my trance, “God, Jen...”

“Don’t stop...” I croon back in return, holding on to his neck and riding the force of his movements, “Oh God, Josh...Please don’t stop...”

He certainly doesn’t. If anything, he intensifies his thrusts even more, driving into me so hard that I’m forced to fall back against the mattress. He reaches down to hoist my legs up, grasping my hips to give himself more leverage as he continues his wonderful assault.

I’m writhing and screaming and tossing my head, completely lost in the pleasure he’s giving me. It must be equally as good for him, because he’s far more vocal than I remember, grunting and moaning and yelling my name.

I can feel my release approaching quickly, and for the first time, I don’t want it to hit. I want to prolong this moment as long as I can. I want to have him this close, inside and out, for the rest of my days. But unfortunately, our bodies dominate our minds, racing to orgasm even if we don’t want them to.

When I feel myself beginning to tense, I almost try to fight against it. When I feel Josh’s fingers atop my clit, coaxing me to race ahead of him, I almost want to slap his hand away. But damn if it doesn’t feel divine, his body working me straight to my glorious finish.

I’m overrun with pleasure so intense that I’m surprised my keens don’t break the lights. My entire body explodes with sparks and fire, shooting up from where Josh is touching me to every ounce of my being. My vision whites out, and for a moment, I really do feel like I’ve entered heaven.

But Josh is quick to ground me, just as he always does. I come back just in time to hear his final, cracking yell, before he shoves deep inside me and lets out numerous spurts of his release.

I lay on the bed in a wondrous daze, clenching tightly and swallowing up every last bit of him, like I’m fighting to keep a piece of him forever.

Completely satisfied, completely satiated, and completely exhausted, my eyes droop as the room fades from existence, practically floating on cloud nine. I don’t have the strength to stop Josh from slipping out of me, but he’s quick to fill the gap by flopping down on the bed beside me.

The two of us simply lay drunkenly together in post-coital bliss, the once chaotic room only filled with our quieting pants now.

I don’t think too hard about what we just did. I don’t take anything into consideration. I simply enjoy the moment, appreciating it for what it is.

When Josh crawls further up the bed to rest near the pillows, I lazily follow, nestling my bare, full body against him. He flops an arm atop me, and the moment I snuggle into his chest, it’s no surprise that a much needed slumber overtakes me, falling into a perfectly content rest filled with nothing but the man of my dreams.

xXx

Though I do indeed awake to a rather nasty headache the following, my body feels lighter than the pillows behind my head. I let out a long and content sigh, stretching my limbs and enjoying the warmth still radiating out to my extremities. What happened just hours before still feels like a dream to me, reality not fully sinking back in yet. Still halfway locked in my reveries, I reach out to caress the man beside me, hungering to continue and to never wake up from this.

But when my fingers dust across an empty, cold mattress, I do.

I snap awake, sitting bolt upright in bed. And when the sheets fall off my form, revealing my still-naked body, reality hits with an excruciating force.

Josh is gone.

Josh and I had sex last night.

Oh God.

Anxiety and dismay are both quick to set in. Though I vaguely remember us promising each other that there would be no repercussions, we were obviously too out of our heads to fully commit. Because we’re best friends. Two best friends who are still pretty much linked to other relationships. Two best friends who have been cut deeply by this same thing before.

Oh God.

I wanted it so bad. I wanted him so bad. And as messed up as I was last night, there was no stopping it. I hungered for that little taste of him like nothing else. But for what? Messing us up again? Messing him up?

Shame pours through my veins in droves, manifesting as tears that are quick to coat my vision.

“J-Josh...” I whimper out, praying that he’s in one of the other rooms, that he’ll reply to my call.

My suite is just as empty as my bed.

Moisture pours down my cheeks as I throw myself out of bed, slipping on a robe and searching around. My heart sinks further and further into my stomach the longer and longer I search, the hotel room feeling very much vacated. But as I pass by the window, I catch a glimpse that sends a sob of relief from my throat.

Slowly, cautiously, I open the sliding glass door and step out onto the balcony, next to a rather pensive-looking Josh. Though I’m so glad he didn’t leave, I can’t bear to look at him. I’m feeling increasingly guilty, all the memories and visions of last night pouring in one by one. It was mutual, yes, but I was the one who initiated it, the one who pushed it.

I can feel his eyes on me, his stare forcing more tears out of my own. He continues to look at me, and I know I have to say something. I know I have to apologize.

“We...We shouldn’t have done that...”

I hear his intake of breath, and still feel him staring, so I’m quick to continue, “I mean...I shouldn’t have done that...It was all my fault, Josh, I’m sorry...”

I wait for him to step in with his two cents. I wait for him to chip in with his eloquence and maturity. When I’m left with silence however, I cannot help but sob.

“Josh, I’m...sorry...I was way too worked up last night and....it just...got to me.”

More silence. I’m starting to think nothing I say will come even close to fixing the situation.

“Can...Can we just forget this ever happened?...Please?”

He lets out a long sigh, and finally speaks up, his voice hoarse and low.

“I think that’s easier said than done...”

My composure, as fragile as it’s been over the past couple of days, snaps right in half once more. My sobs pick up, audible hiccuping-noises sounding from my throat and visible shudders rolling down my body. Though my eyes are now shut from the force of my cries, I can practically feel Josh deflate beside me.

“Jen...”

I don’t look at him. I don’t move. A pair of gentle, warm hands on my shoulders however, coax me to do so, beckoning me into my favorite embrace. I’m still devastated, surely, but I feel immensely better that he’s hugging me. I wrap my arms tightly around his neck and bury my face into his collar, continuing my weeps and never wanting to let go. To my utmost relief, he holds me back just as firmly, his hands rubbing soft circles against my back.

“I...I didn’t want to...” I hiccup into him.

“Didn’t want to what?”

“I didn’t want to...fuck things up again...for us...I was so...fucking stupid...I’m sorry...”

“You’re...”

I hold my breath as he inhales deeply and lets it out with another long sigh.

“You’re not stupid,” he murmurs, “I acted out of impulse too. I mean, I think it was pretty obvious that I was caught up in the moment as well. So we’re both guilty in that respect.”

My heart flutters a tad at his words, a hint of comfort trickling back in. Anxiety is still in the lead however, making my arms wrap even tighter around him, locking him into my embrace.

“Please don’t leave me...” I moan.

I feel his breath catch, before he hugs me closer as well.

“I’m not going to leave you...”

A particularly sharp sob sounds from me, and I feel one of Josh’s hands venture up to cup the back of my head, cradling me and rubbing his fingers soothingly against my scalp.

“Jen, I’m not going to leave you,” he murmurs firmly, “I promise.”

His words flood me his warmth once more, and I feel my sobs letting up a tad. I snuggle closer into him, nestling my face against his skin.

“I mean,” he starts with huff of laughter through his nose, “What’s a drunken fuck between two friends?”

I cannot help but laugh at the absurdity of it all, shaking my head at the both of us.

“God, Josh...Do you know how ridiculous that sounds?”

“Yeah, but I guess we’ve never been ones for being normal,” he huffs again, before his voice takes a more serious tone, “And it’s not like we haven’t done this before.”

I let out another puff of mirth, but my heart sinks again as his last words do. I chew my lip for a moment, before leaning back in his arms, meeting his eyes for the first time this morning. When I’m met with the usual gentleness, the usual warmth swirling around his hazel depths, I gain the strength to continue.

“You’re more to me than just...a rebound, by the way...”

His eyes search through mine, blue and hazel silently communicating.

“I didn’t just jump on you to forget Nick...There was more to it than that...I just...”

The truth poises itself on my tongue. The need to admit my true feelings wells up dangerously in my chest. But as per usual, it all crashes, my body deflating as the truth blips away once again.

“I don’t know...”

“Regardless of why it happened, what’s done is done,” he says, still continuing to rub my back, “So how about we just...try and look past this?”

I can feel my heart crack a tad at the missed opportunity. Another chance to be with Josh, gone, obliterated. But inwardly I know he’s right. Inwardly, I know we have to, for the sake of our friendship at least.

“It’s going to be weird...”

“Maybe at first,” he agrees, before I see that teasing glimmer in his eye, “I mean after all, I’ve seen my ‘annoying sister’ naked. And we ended up doing it. Pretty hard to look past that.”

“Josh!” I gasp, rolling my eyes with a groan that eventually shifts into a few huffy rounds of laughter, “Oh God...Why’d you have to bring up the fucking annoying sister thing again...I hate that. And you just made things worse.”

“No I didn’t!” he chuckles, “We’re from Kentucky. Totally normal.”

“Jesus,” I laugh, “You’re awful.”

We both laugh together, chasing the anxiety within away. It comforts me immensely that we’re still able to banter as we do, even after such a life-changing incident.

When we quiet down, smiling and gazing into each other’s eyes again, I have to proclaim at least something.

“You mean a lot to me, Joshy...”

His stare softens, his smile turning solemn and gentle.

“You mean a lot to me, too. There was no way in hell I was going to throw you away over a slip up.”

My smile must fade a tad, because he’s quick to add, “A mutual slip up.”

Tears well up in my eyes again, but they’re happier, relieved. Even though yes, I am still worried about the future, worried about if this will end up impacting us in any way, it comforts me tremendously to know that Josh is still by my side.

“Thank you...” I whisper, throwing myself back into his arms.

“You’re welcome...”

He inhales as if he’s going to continue, but instead settles on hugging me back in return.

I don’t think much of it, simply glad that we’re okay, that nothing erupted from our impulsive act of passion. As I continue to embrace him under the light of the rising sun, bathing in warmth and contentedness, I can finally feel myself starting to relax.

I guess things will be okay after all.

#TWAAL #Joshifer fic #Joshifer fanfiction #Joshifer #Joshifer smut #NC-17 #Jennifer Lawrence #Josh Hutcherson #YEET LOL #Oh God wow I feel like I'm back in 2015 just starting this story again #Way back when I BARELY knew where it was going to take me #I just had like #CHAPTER FRIGGIN 19 PLANNED OUT OF COURSE LOL #But everything else hooo boy #I've missed ya Peanut

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weirdwariii · 7 years ago

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Winter 2018 Playlist, Part 1

This is mostly new(-ish) music, but sometimes there’s a just a song or two or three or nine that I want to listen to a lot that ends up here too. Here’s what I’m listening to as of late:

Yamantaka // Sonic Titan - “A Star Over Pureland” - Y//ST had been on my radar for a few years now, though I hadn’t listened to them much. But between their name and their visual aesthetics, there seemed to be something pretty exciting about them. Finally delving into their back catalog in anticipation for their upcoming album Dirt (and I think there’s a song from that somewhere in the future of this playlist), I’m super pleased that I’m finally devoting more time to them. Heavy at times, more folky at other times, and even a little splash of electronic texture here and there. They remind me of this group Mr. Gnome that I had gotten into a few years ago. Anyways, this particular track (from their 2011 debut) is one of my favorite things I’ve listened to in a while, period. Apocalyptic waves of drums and guitars meet blood-thirsty chanting. I could listen to 100 minutes of this, but I’ll settle for the 7 minutes of this track.

Tune Yards - “ABC 123” - I wasn’t super impressed by the new Tune Yards album, and I was pretty bummed by that considering how much I liked her last two. I think Merrill Garbus has such an awesomely unique voice and great messages in her lyrics, but the actual songs on this album fail to keep my interest. This track is one of the few exceptions, a bouncy pop song that belongs in the top tier of Tune Yards songs - if not one of the best songs I’ve heard so far this year. Weirdly disappointing, then, that the rest of the album fails to meet this bar.

Caverns of Anti-Matter - “Make Out Fade Out” - If a gun was to my head, I’d say Stereolab was my favorite band of all time. And with the likelihood of ever getting another Stereolab album diminishing year by year, I’m now just living off of new albums by Laetitia Sadier and Caverns of Anti-Matter. Last year was Laetitia’s turn, so now we’re back to Tim Gane’s post-Stereolab outfit, Cavern’s of Anti-Matter. Instrumentally, I think Caverns lean far far closer to the electronic side of things than Stereolab had, yet there’s still these hints of krautrock and lounge in their sound that don’t seem that far removed from the prior band. The bass line in this new track is killer, and the vocal-less track kind of whizzes by - the soundtrack to a fictional cartoon about spaceships racing each other, maybe. I’m extremely excited to hear more.

Teenage Wrist - “Dweeb” - I’ve never heard of this band, but I’m very happy that I stumbled on “Dweeb.” It has its roots firmly planted in the grunge/alternative rock sound of the 90s, yet still feels refreshingly new. I’m a sucker for things that make me think “Wow, this is like those rock songs from the days of yore.” There’s a good amount of, for lack of better adjectives, some authentic sounding angst here.

Damaged Bug - “Jet in Jungle” - A track that’s a few years old, but I discovered last year while falling through some Oh Sees wormholes. I loved the track then, and I can’t stop listening to it now. Seriously. I have a genuine addiction to this track.

Jay Rock, Kendrick Lamar, Future, James Blake - “King’s Dead” - I love Kendrick’s voice, y’know? And he’s a smart guy. And, I guess, he’s so hyped about Black Panther that he oversaw the entire soundtrack? God, I love this track. It’s all over the place, and there’s so many little pieces that somehow work together. I said I was going to listen to more hip hop music this year (well, I didn’t say it out loud, but I did say it in my head), and this song definitely inspires me to make good on that promise.

Of Montreal - “Paranoic Intervals/Body Dysmorphia” - I already said some words about this song last month in this here blog. But I still love this song.

David Byrne - “Everybody’s Coming to My House” - Like, the first 40 seconds of this song annoy me every time, admittedly. The music's queuing up and David has this squeaky voice happening and I’m always juuuust about to skip the track, but then the drums kick in, the music starts rolling, and all the elements just suddenly meld together beautifully. I’m way more excited for a David Byrne solo album in 2018 than I thought I would be.

Jeff Rosenstock - “USA” - There are two Jeff Rosenstock songs on this album I love to pieces, and...actually, you know, I love all the songs on this album. Like every fucking song. This album is fantastic and its timing couldn’t have been better - hitting my sweet spots du jour for politically charged sing-along punk rock. But this song, in particular, is like the theme song for 2018. “We’re tired!/We’re Bored!” Another track that stretches past the 7-minute mark without every coming close to being exhausting or wearing out its welcome.

Yamantaka // Sonic Titan - “Someplace” - I said a bit about Y//ST already, so I’ll keep this brief. This is from their upcoming album Dirt, which I’m pretty excited about. This track still has some pretty heavy stuff in the instrumentation, but there’s also a really pretty and serene quality about the track, especially early on. I’m pretty interested in hearing the rest of the album.

The Vaccines - “I Can’t Quit” - I’ve never listened to The Vaccines before, but I don’t think I ever really had to. You see the band name, and you kind of just know what they sound like - some sort of garage/punk/rock commotion. And I gave this track a whirl, seeing as it was new and I gave an apathetic “why the fuck not” should shrug” and ended up digging it. Yep - sounds exactly like I expected it to. But it's catchy. Fun. Good. I’ll probably listen to more. (Okay, also, their first album was called What Did You Expect from the Vaccines? Jesus Christ.)

Turbowolf - “Domino” - I don’t know who Turbowolf is. Another apathetic shrug. But, also, another head nod of approval. The easiest comparison here is Death from Above and maybe Bass Drum of Death. Maybe...Wolfmother? Like, any band that that has “death” or “wolf” in its name. Is there a band called Deathwolf? There is, so says Spotify. With 273 monthly listeners. Step up your game, Death Wolf. Anyways, I like this song. Fun, speedy, this will be on a summer playlist or two.

Jay Som - “Pirouette” - I’m sorry (I say to myself). I totally slept on Everybody Works last year, despite listening to it a handful of times and loving it and wanting to have listened to it more. And now this post-album track hits and its so so so so good. I’ve literally listened to this song more than I’ve listened to all the tracks on that album combined. Like, I should go listen to it, but...this songs not on it. And I love this song.

The Wombats - Cheetah Tongue - I kind of remember The Wombats? They were, like, one of a hundred bands who all kind of sounded/looked/acted the same in the late 2000s. They’re still making music, so good for them. I wonder if I’ve unfairly judged them/dismissed them, though, because this song is really quite great. Despite its terrible name. Dance-y alt-pop-rock that definitely makes me nostalgic for illegally downloading music in 2008.

The National - “The System Only Sleeps in Total Darkness” - True story: I never really liked The National before. I’ve admired what they’ve done, and I’ve never hated them. But they always just sort of seemed like the most stereotypical/streamlined version of indie rock. If someone was like “This is what indie rock sounds like…” they’d put on a National record. So I never really cared about them before. But then I heard this song late last year, as every website, radio station and entertainment outlet praised them and their latest album. And...I kinda fell in love with this song. Am I a convert? Shrug. Look, I like this song an awful lot. And they should be grateful for that right now.

#The National #The wombats #jay som #turbowolf #the vaccines #jeff rosenstock #yamantaka sonic titan #david byrne #of montreal #jay rock #kendrick lamar #damaged bug #teenage wrist #tune yards #cavern of anti-matter

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hansolmates · 7 years ago

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170827 DIAMOND EDGE NYC: VVIP/HI-TOUCH & vernon moment!

disc. THIS IS A LONG AND COMPREHENSIVE post about my experience and mostly this is for me so i can look back at it in an hour and cry and i’ll probably add onto this later. im really really thankful that i had an amazing experience and i will love svt forever nd ever

During the day:

I woke up around 4am and arrived around 7.30 and they lined us up. My group of three vvip friends were around the 50s so we had a good line spot. The one thing I must say was that it was extra frustrating that the people who camped out (which is not allowed!) Were given PRIORITY tickets and cut the line! I can't even begin to explain how frustrated I was that they got special treatment for something they weren't supposed to do. We sorta just chilled around until 11 o’clock, we danced a little nd watched the carat ice cream truck go by!

But anyway there was nothing we could do and they sent vvip into the venue around 12 by then there were so many people and we stayed upstairs of the venue because having 3k people around one street was way too crowded. At first I didn't know what was going on but they were apparently preparing us for hi touch. We all lined up on the balcony and it was kinda sorta balls sweat hot. WE WERE BLASTIN MUSIC AND DANCING I WAS SCREAMING SO HARD lemme tell u less than 200 people on the rooftop that’s a party and then the staffer (who i will affectionately call J because she was amazing) was like “lol svt is doing soundcheck they can hear u downstairs and they think y’all are funny” and it was only 200 of us singing and stuff so they recorded us cheering for them and sent it back to svt. At the time she was filming i just came out of the bathroom and she filmed me and kris looking like absolute idiots dancing for svt by the bathroom LOL Afterwards mmt and svt sent us more water and snacks and soda because we couldn’t leave the venue to get food THEY'RE SO SWEET THE STAFF TREATED US SO NICELY!! J and mmt handled our fangifts with care and put them in sturdy boxes and made sure that we were hydrated and energized before we went back inside

HI TOUCH

OK THE HI TOUCH WAS A LITERAL BLUR they sent us to some stairs and was telling us the rules then all of a sudden we rounded the corner!! No warning!!! AND SEVENTEEN WAS THERE GIVING THE HI TOUCH!! The order thanks to haru peeps are as follows: minghao, vern, hosh, jun, jeonghan, woozi, seungkwan, dino, wonwoo, dk, scoups, josh mingyu. I wasn’t prepared for vern to go first nd I have an audio of me freaking out and going “oh shiiiii” when Vern was right next to me oh mah gah. I tried to pull it off and say “bro” and I did but Vernon kept staring at me until he got to kristine lol im so sorry vern!! But he’s even more gorgeous in person, his eyes are beautiful and his jawline can cut a bitch and he was wearing his cute red flannel that he always has on!! His head is big and his smile takes up his entire face and he’s just one big puppy you want to cuddle and im infinitely thankful for the eye contact!! Minghao is so hot oh my god he looks so confident and chill and he was givin those “yeaah babe” vibes. Their hands feel like lily petals. Boonseoksoon and cheol were very heartwarming, i squeezed all their hands until i was rushed off but i stopped to tell josh that he had pretty eyes and ended it off with mingyu and we jogged to our spot at vvip.

Concert Experience

I must say that i’m wholly impressed and happy that vvip did not push (it totally would’ve been fckin embarassing bc svt is really close to the stage so yes if they pushed it would’ve been awful) and i’m really sorry to hear that the rest of vip/p1/p2 had a really hard time trying to see BUT IT’S OKAY SVT IS NEVER COMING TO T5 EVER AGAIN. So im infinitely thankful that i was really really close to the stage and got to see the boys. BUT OKAY THE ONE THING THAT PISSED ME OFF? ??? CAMERAS. CAMERAS EVERYWHERE! I wouldn’t have cared if you were upstairs or in the back, but WE WERE LITERALLY FIVE FEET FROM THEM AND THESE PEOPLE ARE 6 FEET TALL and cameras were blocking my view because they were filming the whole damn concert. LIKE IT’S RUDE? GO TO THE BACK? DID YOU LITERALLY PAY TO SEE THRU A COMPUTER I DO THAT EVERY DAY!!! I ended up seeing the concert to its fullest so it’s fine BUT STILL SVT DOESN’T WANNA SING TO BUNCH OF CAMERAS ESP TO THE PEOPLE IN THE FRONT? PEOPLE ARE PAID TO FILM THEM, THERE ARE FANSITES EVERYWHERE!! Enjoy the fleeting time you have with them!

But in the end it was more opportunity for me to soak up all the fanservice because *twiddles fingers* mwhahaahahahha there was enough room for me to dance for hoshi and going svt and i made eye contact with him, wonwoo during the dancing as well, mingyu, jeong *dies* it was too much

Vernon (extended fanservice + rapping together!)

VERNON GETS A WHOLE DANG SECTION OKAY!!!! BECAUSE HE!! WAS NOT OKAY!!11! Kristine and i have been strategically preparing for MONTHS watching countless performances to stay in the corner where vern/jun would be performing on the most, turns out to be the right side so im two people away from the stage so i had a really good view of vernon’s beauty. I thought it was just me being biased but out of all the members Vernon’s stage presence is IMPECCABLE!! He doesn’t quote-unquote try to captivate you, he just naturally attracts people because his aura is so so so palpable. He was made to be on that stage!!!

Fanservice w/vern!

*sweats* after the whole hi touch fiasco i was convinced vern wouldn’t want to look at me but i held up my “vernon u lit” poster (dw i didn’t raise it high to block ppl) AND IT WORKED!!! My main highlight with him together was during check in (skip to 5:00) and since there was a lot of room I WAS GOING OFF dancing with him and rapping mingyu’s part along with him and shit i thought we had such a “feelin it” moment it was so surreal we were both in the song getting super super hype and the music was just immersed around us and i felt like the whole room melted apart and it was just the two of us sdlfjds;fjk;dsf im so gross my heart is warm my eyes are watery as i type this!! i miss him so much

anyway every performance after that, especially rock/if i and the ending ment i felt his stare and y’know that feeling when you pass someone attractive in the mall and you have that five-minute crush on them… i hope vern had that five minute crush on me because man i almost felt a way that boo or someone might feel when vern has that stare on you. He’s infinitely sweet and thankful at the ending ment when he thanked us for giving him new memories for his hometown i almost cried but he was lookin in my direction so i swallowed my feels

Final Details

Dino is the best. Performer. Like hosh performs really well when he dances! But shiii boy dino is on ALL THE DAMN TIME. i was told to be forewarned when u see dino AND Y’ALL WERE RIGHT

Lots of dk/minghao stans!!!! DK’S EYES ARE SO TWINKLY I UNDERSTAND WHY U LOVE HIM SO MUCH! A vvip had their gift as sunflowers with dk’s face on it IT’S SO FITTING

Performance unit IS WILD i used to think performance unit was just bc they did a lot of the choreo BUT NO. THEIR PERFORMANCE IS ALL THE WAY UP THERE you could feel every inch of their body carefully calculated and perfected even with OMG and highlight ND I WAS NEVER PREPARED FOR “MY I” WHY WASN’T THERE ARE TRANSITION FROM CRAZY LOVE TO THEN HOW DARE U

I used to go to concerts and from far away watch them spray water in the pit and u wish u were those people during healing cheol sprayed water and i felt CHRISTENED but all of a sudden ALL OF SEVENTEEN SPRAYED US IT WAS WET AND I FELT REBORN

At the ending ment hoshi screamed “I LOVE NEW JERSS----I LOVE NEW YORKKKK” lol my jersey self giggled

wonwoo/jun/scoups/jeonghan were definitely the most tired. Jun and Wonwoo were spacing out like crazy and coups literally ate his mic. Jeonghan was in another world most of the time, especially during the ballads he looked out to the crowd making exhausted eye contact. It looked like he was trying really hard to sing. Jeonghan and seungkwan had very visible cystic/stress acne, even through their makeup

*sigh* i guess i can’t avoid talking about the jeonghan situation amirite. From where i was everyone was v confused, sevnteen included. It lasted probably total of 10 seconds and we moved on. It was bad. We know it was very bad. Although Jeonghan seemed lowkey amused afterward THAT ISN’T THE POINT the concert was 99.9% perfect and i hope everyone remembers that and doesnt antagonize american carats (as american fans usually are for all the baddies)

All and all i feel honored that i was able to spend a comfortable night with svt, i know a lot of people aren’t able to say the same esp the people in the back. Its still replaying in my head and im infinitely thankful to stan such a wonderful group of boys and im glad to be a part of their tour

#seventeen #diamond edge #diamond edge nyc #diamond edge tour #this is totally uncomprehensive #im a fic writer i swear #jfdfjds;#i finally get some feels out #i'll probably add more later but #ye #ot13 #cami went to diamond edge

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zagenta · 8 years ago

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hear me out for a sec

Tbh all that’s left of the good h/a/m/ilton content that isn’t just pretty fanart of the musical is rly intriguing b/c i feel like it exists on this plane of existence completely separate from actual history or even the musical? Do you know what I mean?

Like I know its usually considered OOC writing for characters to be unlike canon but all the really interesting content i’ve consumed has evolved the characters so that they’re far more interesting their their canon counterparts, b/c ppl are using the bare bones of what was once probably a historical demon man to base a template for a fully fleshed out character. There’s been some really great content that delves into exploration of sexuality, gender, race, etc that’s based primarily on ppls interpretations, although that’s probably bc at this point i primarily only look at content by authors of color that talk abt LGBT+ characters of color.

Honestly it’s an excuse for some real creativity and exploration of intimate subject matter.

The femslash and the next gen stuff is a great example. Originally this post was going to be a joke that I was gonna write an original story featuring the hamilton next gen and nobody would have any idea, but really its true. Ppl have fabricated personalities out of practically nothing or very little historical info for characters that have very small roles or are completely cut from the diegesis such as Frances Laurens, Dolley Madison, Maria Cosway, Maria Reynolds, Martha Manning, Theodosia Jr, Georges and Adrienne, etc and I think that’s amazing!

And these practically fanmade characters are given stories that touch on LGBT+ themes, parental/child dynamics, drugs, racism, mental illness, art, music, etc. It’s surprisingly mature, and these characters expand upon the themes of the original text and adds additional themes and making it better, more palatable, and more satisfying.

Almost always set in a creative setting or a modern setting.

Not that there isn’t that mountain of weird fetish-y romanticization works from the fandom, there is, but at this point i’ve learned to tune it out. I just think its amazing how fans can expand a pretty problematic original text into something far more interesting (it’s actually a pretty similar phenomenon to what happened with T/w/i/light, 50 shades fiasco aside). There’s lots of cringey stuff, but the same fan cliches can also be used to great effect.

Perfect example? Nonbinary Laf: often a cringey token nonbinary flamboyant european gay stereotype or an excuse to fetishize daveed, but i’ve also seen (and written, not to hype myself up too much) works that show a lot of depth to his character, his defiant flamboyancy being an act of queer transgression, that are a lot more introspective on the experience of being a nonbinary or bisexual person and parent, an outsider.

Often its the stereotypes that were used to the point of exhaustion by white fandom that we reclaimed to spin in a more nuanced light (some of it we worked to deconstruct b/c it was just nasty but other stuff we’ve reclaimed).

Because seriously, what fans of color have done w/ the show vs. what white fans have done is honestly incomparable. I mean, I doubt Israa still cares abt this demon musical, but her fics were serious artistry. Same w/ Dia, but Sorry About the Blood in Your Mouth is AMAZING. And Peaches’ Maria Cosway Certified Lesbian is the most charming thing on the planet. I even think the silly shit has its merits.

& its strange, b/c most of these characters are so unlike their original counterparts, or were created from whole cloth, so they feel much more like *mine* than any character on some whitebread m/a/r/v/e/l show could be. And while, H/a/m/i/l/ton, as problematic as it is, is probably quite literally a masterpiece, these characters really don’t belong to the musical or to history. Sure they may inhabit the same names, but they’re not the same.

Butch lesbian Peggy is OURS, its not the musical’s. Stoner John Laurens, (silly as it might seem) is ours (well, its Vic’s), not the musical’s. Nonbinary Lafayette is OURS. Butch lesbian Frances Laurens with a F/un H/ome dynamic with her fucked up gay dad is ours. Technically-not-siblings/best-friend-cousins Philip and Frances is OURs. (I’d argue even the more problematic ones like Mads & TJ are so removed from the historical and musical reality that they fall under this category, fucked up as it seems).

They’re their own characters, they exist in a universe tangential to history and the musical but not the same one.

--And I’m gonna veer off into self-indulgent territory, but as far as my own involvement in fandom goes, I personally put a lot of work into this alternate universe. Closeted, ambitious, perfectionist Dolley Payne is mine. Gangly, neurotic, awkward gay Georges is mine. Angelica/Dolley the ambitious power couple is mine. Queer anarchist rebel Virginie de Lafayette is mine. They’re MY characters, and I’m extremely proud of them.

tbh im just gonna admit that me focusing on second generation of kids like Frances & Philip & etc and the women both in the show & that weren’t rly in it like Eliza & Angelica & Dolley & shit is how i reconcile w/ myself for H/a/m/ilton being a show based on the demon fathers & its not a perfect solution but tbh it gives me an excuse to just make up shit that are basically my own OCs bc half the characters i writer abt were never in the show. I know its basically an excuse to assuage my own guilt but there it is.

Anyways im not rly sure how to end this, if we’re mutuals i’d rly like your input. And pls don’t let this circulate around, i especially dont want antis to see it nor particularly do i care abt white fans’ opinions either

also i know this is super apologist i just wanted to express an idea

#shut up Janelle

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roseofariandel · 8 years ago

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How are Dragon Age:Inquisition and Mass Effect:Andromeda so far off from each other?

After playing for roughly 12 hours on ME:A, and easily 72+ on DA:I, I can hardly believe they’re made by the same company and it's extremely frustrating on multiple levels, both on the personal level and the consumer level and I really want to break it down and talk about it a bit because if people have some answers and explanations I’d be very grateful.

So I got into both franchises pretty late in the game (no pun intended), Mass Effect 3 for the WiiU was my first Mass Effect game, and Dragon Age: Inquisition is my first (hopefully not last, they totally have to be making more, right???) game from that series. And while the two games couldn’t be much more different if they tried, after doing a playthrough just before getting ME:A, I was extremely disappointed in Andromeda, and feel it was extremely over-hyped. I wanted to like it, I wanted to love it, I LOVED Mass Effect 3 and honestly I couldn’t be more upset with my purchase for a variety of reasons that I personally feel are pretty valid, and I’m sure some may disagree.

GRAPHICS:

I Honestly had very very high hopes for the graphics in Mass Effect Andromeda, After completing Horizon:Zero Dawn almost a week before, I was absolutely enamoured with where video game graphics are going for 2017 and with how pleased I was with Dragon Age: Inquisition, a game made by the same company (I know nothing of the individual teams that work on each franchise so there's a hole in my judgement there) I was actually floored at how positively dated the animation was. Its an only slight improvement over Mass Effect 3, a bit smoother, a bit cleaner, but ultimately, not TOO much different. Its worth mentioning that with all the memes that got posted about Sarah Ryder’s infamous gun-grab empty gaze, something I had initially attributed to a poor choice of footage, was omnipresent in Mass Effect Andromeda, the facial expressions really are as bad and poorly engineered as the trailer would have you think, eyes blink at weird intervals, micro expressions are barely existent. Its almost awkward to watch the humans interact with each other most of the time.

This is something I actually, considering it was released 2 years prior to ME:A, that DA:I did very well. expressions weren’t perfect obviously, but in contrast to Andromeda, they were believable, engaging, and matched the tone of a conversation and conveyed emotion relatively well. Its beyond me how the older game has a more polished look with significantly better facial content but It really is strikingly different.

Hair rendering is honestly kind of garbage in ME:A, although DA:I didn’t do much better, but it was better, in my experience anyways.

Eyelashes are... distracting.. they look fake, like glue-ons done improperly, like sometimes when characters close their eyes, the eyelashes like..fold over the eyelids, its honestly just so painful looking...

OPEN WORLD:

The open world in Mass Effect: Andromeda is obviously a growing trend that has its roots in the success of Skyrim, and space exploration is certainly a dauntingly large task! I support and acknowledge the choice by BioWare to make many planets and star systems for us to explore, but its almost.. distractingly large. Its messy, that's the only way I can explain it, and while the planets themselves are beautifully imagined, and actually the environments are gorgeously rendered and coloured, there's about 700 quests all the time that are pointless, and totally derail the story if you choose to follow them. I get that, it is a choice to follow and accept sidequests and some people really enjoy that, but unlike Dragon Age: Inquisition, Andromeda’s sidequests seem to be only vaguely tied to Ryder’s position and influence. Side quests weren’t as numerous and felt much more purposeful in Dragon Age, and the role of Inquisitor made completing these tasks like part of the inquisitor’s job, to secure trust in the inquisition. While Ryder seeks to earn trust in the Andromeda Initiative, it still feels...wrong, unnecessary to go help an engineer fix some broken panels when I’m sure theres a pletora of other suitable people this particular NPC could go to, and I find I feel this way a lot during the NPC interactions. It just seems baseless.

Case in point: there's too much, its a game trend done in a weird, time-consuming manner that feels exhausting and unnecessary that I feel Dragon Age: Inquisition did a lot better, for an older game by the same company.

SAME-SEX ROMANCE:

*Minor GilxRyder spoilers ahead*

My final point on my rant before some finishing notes, inevitably comes back to the heart of me as a player, I’m a gay man, and I absolutely loved Dragon Age: Inquisition’s fleshed out, developed, and believable MLM romances. Dorian’s romance was extremely well-written, a smidge cliche, emotionally engaging and empathise (to myself at least). However, back in Andromeda my Ryder is currently romancing Gil, and while gil is actually one of the more expressive people on the ship, and people who have written articles on the matter claim he has the most developed and story-based romance (out of the 2 available, the other being a fling with little to offer), seems to be moving at a pace that is next to alarming and unnatural in comparison to Kaiden’s Romance in ME:3 and even more so than Dorian or Bull’s in Dragon Age: Inquisition (which for the record, I found appropriately paced and grew what felt like more naturally than it could have). The content is very minuscule for Gil in ME:A and I feel myself yearning for something more developed, more tangible, and as a couple, I was absolutely dumbfounded how quickly they went from being casual shipmates to holding hands on Eos. I was actually even caught off guard by the first flirt option, it seemed to do a totally uncalled for 180, just a bit too intimate for “meeting the crew” y’know? When we look at Dorian, we really see something blossom in a lovable, vulnerable way that just feels right. But with Gil, it leaves a lot to be desired and feels almost comical, and it's obvious it didn’t get much attention from the people who worked on it, which says a lot about how BioWare cares about gay men (not much apparently, at least in the Mass Effect Series so far). Which leaves me jilted towards the company and I’m unsure I will be so zealous to jump on the hype of future games.

FINALLY...

While I’m certainly, and unapologetically talking some shit about BioWare and Mass Effect Andromeda, I have a lot of love for them and while I feel almost bored with Andromeda, I am enjoying it nonetheless. Its not a horrible game, just certainly not what it was played up to be. I certainly would not have preordered the deluxe edition for almost $100CAD had I know it was going to be like this. If you haven’t gotten it yet, I suggest you wait until you can get it on super-sale, Black Friday, or once it hits bargain-bins even.

I’m sure I’ve said some things that some of you feel is unfair, and I invite you to challenge or correct me on it, I think a dialogue is healthy, and I realize comparing Dragon Age to Mass Effect is pretty apples to oranges, but it really does beg the question how the company can make Dragon Age as enriched and polished as it was, and then two years later, release a game that seems like it actually predates its chronological predecessor?

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pogueman · 8 years ago

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David Pogue's CES roundup: All you have to remember is one word

The Consumer Electronics Show is the biggest trade show in the Western Hemisphere. If you somehow missed the show this past week—you’re so lucky!

CES a staggeringly huge, crowded, noisy, sensory-overload sort of show. About 3,900 booths fill enough floor space for 35 football fields. Trying to take it all in gets exhausting and expensive.

(It’s even worse if you work for one of the exhibitors; because CES falls at the beginning of January every year, your holidays are neatly ruined every single year.)

Everybody always asks: “What’d you see at CES this year?”

To which I now have a handy answer: an acronym. ARCHIVE.

That stands for Alexa, Robotics, Cars, Health wearables, Internet of Things, VR—and Everything Else.

Alexa Everywhere

A person holds an Echo Dot, the smaller version of the Amazon Echo. Bloomberg via Getty Images.

The Amazon (AMZN) Echo is that black cylinder that sits in your house and responds to voice commands, kind of like Siri for the home. (Here’s my review.) But as though its invention weren’t brilliant enough, Amazon has now persuaded the world that its technology (and its voice character, named Alexa) should be the standard voice-response technology for every appliance on earth.

At CES, we saw Amazon’s Alexa built into refrigerators (LG and Samsung), light switches (Incipio), power strips (Incipio, iDevices, Belkin), lamps (GE), speakers (Omaker), robotic vacuums (Samsung), satellite boxes (Dish), robots (Ubtech, Hubble), TVs (Seiki, Westinghouse, Element), headphones (Sensory), security cameras (Somfy), door locks (ADT), air purifiers (Coway), washers and dryers (Whirlpool), showerheads (Hydrao), cars (Ford), and on and on.

It’s an overwhelming list. It leaves Amazon’s rivals in the dust, staring at their feet and wondering what went wrong.

You know what? Alexa is going to be what saves the Internet of Things.

That, of course, is the annoying name for devices that we can control by pulling out our phones, unlocking them, and opening an app. (Yes, that’s what you have to do just to turn on an IoT lightbulb.) It’s too much hassle, and there are too many complicated, competing apps, for that approach ever to work.

But just talking to your room? “Alexa, is the dryer done yet?” “Alexa, make it two degrees warmer in here.” “Alexa, lock the doors.” “Alexa, I want to watch ‘Rambo.’”… Now that, the masses will love. And master easily.

Sorry, Apple, Google, Microsoft, and Samsung. This time, Amazon wins.

Robotics

The LG Hub Robot & Mini are unveiled during an LG news conference before CES International, Wednesday, Jan. 4, 2017, in Las Vegas. AP Photo/John Locher

There were home robots on display at CES—like the Amazon Echo with faces and bodies. There were vacuum robots and lawn-mowing robots. LG displayed a human-height robot designed for airports: You show it your boarding pass, and it offers to “walk” with you to the gate.

But robotics is the key to far more than actual robotics. Robotics and AI are what’s inside self-driving cars and collision-avoiding drones, plus products as unexpected as smart mouthguards, smart canes, smart toothbrushes, smart pet-food dispensers, and even smart hair brushes. (Finally, a hair brush that can tell you if you’re yanking your hair too hard!)

Cars

Hyundai’s Ioniq self-driving car. Photo: Yahoo Video

Self-driving cars. Everywhere. Toyota, Nissan, Audi, BMW, Hyundai, Volvo, Ford, Faraday.

For 10 years, people have been saying these cars would hit the roads in 2020—and guess what? Unlike most heavily hyped new technologies, this horizon isn’t receding. People are still saying 2020. That means it’s probably real.

Can you imagine? Autonomous cars will mean be the end not just of accidents, but also driver’s ed, driver’s licenses, and speeding tickets.

Even in their beta-test versions, today’s self-driving cars are drastically safer than the alternative: human drivers.

Health Wearables

A Fitbit device is pictured. Lisa Werner/Getty Images

Let’s face it: Smartwatches have pretty much bombed. They’re too big, they have to be charged every darned night, and they don’t really address an itch that our phones don’t already scratch.

But wearable health gadgets—that’s another story. Gartner predicted last year that 274.6 million wearable devices would be sold worldwide in 2016. That’s not just Fitbits (FIT) and other step/sleep trackers, but devices that measure your sunlight and noise exposure, or beep at you when you’re slouching. Intel’s (INTC) demos included a pair of Oakley sunglasses whose earpieces contain speakers and microphone, so that a virtual coach guides you through your workouts. And you can speak back.

Internet of Things

Man how I hate that stupid term. It’s not even accurate; the things do not create an Internet; they don’t do email or watch Netflix.

Anyway, “Internet of Things” means networkability (and smartphone apps) for household gadgets like dishwashers, refrigerators, lights, door locks, doorbells, security cameras, thermostats, showers, bikes, clothes, sports equipment, and so on. So far, the masses just aren’t buying. Probably because there’s no particular need for most things to be networkable.

And because it’s a hassle to unlock your phone and find an app just to turn the lights on.

Of course, that part got a lot better, thanks to Alexa (see above).

Virtual Reality

Heinrich Hiesinger, CEO of German steel-to-elevators group ThyssenKrupp AG, wears Microsoft HoloLens mixed reality headset REUTERS/Wolfgang Rattay

You know. Oculus, Vive, Playstation VR—all those expensive, sweaty, isolating goggles. They were here, of course, along with five new headsets that connect to plain-vanilla Windows 10 PCs (as opposed to the high-end gaming PCs required by Oculus, Vive, and so on).

I’ve always maintained, though, that augmented reality is underhyped. That’s where you see computer graphics overlaid on the real world around you; it’s not isolating.

“Pokémon Go” is augmented reality. Snapchat (the mode that makes you vomit rainbows) is, too. And so is Microsoft (MSFT) Hololens, which lets you view computer screens on your walls or your desk, or lets medical students examine virtual living bodies, or displays aliens emerging from holes they’ve blasted in your ceiling.

I doubt any of this will become standard household equipment. But I’m confident that VR is getting hailed as revolutionary more often than AR—and I think they’ve got it backwards.

Everything Else

CES is also what it’s always been: full of other stuff. Lots of TVs, pushing the same promises as last year (high dynamic range, 4K, super thin). Drones. Laptops. Phones. Tablets. Baby monitors. Washer-dryers. Bluetooth speakers by the shipload. Enough phone cases to pave the moon.

But for what was new at CES, all you have to remember is one word: ARCHIVE.

You’re welcome!

David Pogue, tech columnist for Yahoo Finance, welcomes non-toxic comments in the Comments below. On the Web, he’s davidpogue.com. On Twitter, he’s @pogue. On email, he’s [email protected]. You can read all his articles here (http://finance.yahoo.com/news/david-pogue/), or you can sign up to get his columns by email (http://j.mp/P4Qgnh).

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celestescamander · 5 years ago

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Celeste Scamander Gossip Witch

Celeste Scamander was good at her job, that was just a fact at this point. She had worked hard to become one of the best agents at Spellbound. She was known for going above and beyond for her clients, being more of a manager/assistant then a casting agent and that was made her the second (Alec was still holding strong despite doing less) most in-demand agent at Spellbound Management. Her job had a few perks, she had met several of her closest friends through either working with them at Spellbound or some of them being her clients, her wage wasn’t something you could blink at and she got to live in New York. Dealing with Melissa Wilson was not one of them, the twenty-one-year-old actress was nothing short of a brat. The former child star made the worst decision of her young life and decided to buy into her own hype. In an attempt to shed her cookie-cutter image, she was now trying to be the cool girl and that was as an annoying as it was exhausting.

Right now, Celeste was basically being a glorified baby sitter, making sure the blonde diva didn’t go too overboard. This was her first interview with Howler Happy Hour, the highest-rated entertainment and pop culture show amongst the wizarding community and Celeste was tasked in making sure the younger girl didn’t make a fool of herself and by association Spellbound. Currently, the young girl was getting looked after by the Wiz networks beauty team. Apart from speaking in that awful forced Eastern European accent that she decided was the coolest she was behaving. Celeste sighed taking a sip from her vanilla latte reading through her last messages. One particular piquing her interest. Caleb Park, a former client of Spellbound, friend and probably her most steady crush in the past five years. The last time they had talked was over six months ago where he invited her to be his not so date to his best friend and business partner’s wedding, Celeste had declined as she had just broken up with her at the time boyfriend Lucas was in no mood to deal with super up loved people who supposedly figured out how to make it works in the long run. After that event she had radio silence from Caleb being all but ghosted by the man. So, him messaging her so out of the blue definitely piqued her interest.

She read over the text, her curiosity growing as did her frown. There wasn’t much to the message, it was oddly to the point for Caleb who used to send long rambling texts that were chock a block full of emojis. Basically, he apparently wanted to meet up later to discuss business. Celeste had no idea what business they even had together at this point.

“Celeste Scamander,’ Celeste looked up at the sight of the host of Howler’s Happy Hour, the cousin of the very man that had messaged her. Spencer Park was beautiful, a young vivacious girl who managed to master that cool girl swagger most people, especially Melissa Wilson, tried so hard to replicate. A huge grin made it’s way onto to the hostess’s face as he pulled Celeste into a hug. “I haven’t seen you in forever,” she said as she pulled away. Celeste nodded, her last couple of clients weren’t exactly the people that would show up on the Howler’s Happy Hour or the Wiz network for that matter.

“Ah Spencer, I need some air,” she said laughing as she patted the younger girl on the back. “How have you been?” Celeste asked as Spencer pulled away.

“I’ve been good,” Spencer said with a nonchalant shrug, “Just living life in New York City, like that muggle show Sax and The City,” she said, “Except for my days of looking for love are over –“ she said, a breathtaking smile making it’s way onto her face. Celeste's nose scrunched up, it was hard to see someone so smitten when she was tragically single.

“I think you mean Sex and The City,” Celeste laughed lightly, as Spencer rolled her eyes playfully muttering a whatever under her breath. “And that is really great, maybe one day I can meet this lucky guy,” she said, “or girl or whatever-“she tacked on wanting to cover all bases just in case.

“He and yes, of course, I am surprised Cal didn’t mention it,” she said. Celeste plastered a fake smile on her face at the mention of Cal. Odd that his family member assumed they were still talking.

“Ahh must have slipped his mind, he has been really busy with modelling and acting and all that,” she said. Spencer cocked an eyebrow as she looked at Celeste a knowing look making its way onto her face. Celeste squirmed under her gaze. “Anyway, so you are about to have the pleasure of meeting Melissa Wilson,” she said looking at the actress. “I am sure that will be fun,” she said with as much fake enthusiasm as she could muster

“Yes, she does seem… interesting,” Spencer said judgement heavy in her tone. “How did you get stuck with her?” she asked.

“Well originally her team wanted Alec to work with her but Alec in very colourful language told them that he declined and I was pushed into it,” she sighed, “I think I’ve been doing a pretty good dealing with to be honest, it’s been like 3 days since she had a meltdown,” Celeste with a little fist pump.

Spencer laughed lightly, “Ah good old Alec he is my favourite angry scot,” she said, “Seriously he is a swearing poet,” she giggled. “But I am sorry hun if I was you I would just let her crash and burn so you could move onto the next thing,” Spencer huffed.

“Tempting, really tempting,” Celeste responded wincing as she watched the actress storm away from some poor innocent make up artist because said makeup artist wanted to use a peach coloured lip gloss. Celeste rolled her eyes excusing herself from her friend and following after Melissa, scoffing at the fact she was going have to trying and sweet talk this girl into not being a brat for the length of this interview.

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Melissa’s interview was a complete disaster, not only did she come off completely unlikeable and ignorant, her silly little almost accent had made #whatisshesaying trend worldwide. Celeste groaned as she slammed the door to the actress’s hotel room knowing that she was for sure going to get blamed for not keeping her in check. She really just wanted to down a bottle of wine in her apartment while watching Mamma Mia for the thousandth time but she had agreed to meet up with Caleb for a ‘business chat’.

At least the café Caleb had chosen was one of her favourites if she could drown her sorrows in wine she could at least eat her weight in the most delicious sweets you could find in New York. With a sigh, she apparated out of the hotel and into the neighbourhood of the café, she could have just gone straight there but she needs a couple of minutes to prepare herself for the conversation that was about to happen.

Just because they hadn’t spoken to Caleb in six months didn’t mean her tiny (read massive) crush on him had died, there had been many times after seeing him in those trashy tabloid magazine’s cuddle up to his girl of the month she wished it had but it was still there. Sure it had been easier to ignore, she had been busy, between work and her friends the only time she got to indulge her thoughts about Caleb was when she was alone and drunk.

After taking a few minutes and figuring out how to behave Celeste walked into the café, her game face was on and she was ready to do business. She wasn’t Celeste Scamander the girl with the hopeless (at one point assumedly requited) crush but Celeste Scamander the businesswoman, Spellbound’s best. She spotted Caleb sitting at the window booth, she let herself check him out quickly, she was human, after all, he was dressed in a simple plain white shirt with dark jeans on. He appeared to be completely focused on his phone, eyes not leaving the screen even as he lifted his mug up to his lips. She eyed the table noticing that he had already ordered for her either that or he was really thirsty.

Celeste made her way over to the booth, her shadow causing Caleb to look away from his phone. Caleb jumped his phone slopping out of his fingers and landing on the table with a thud. “Shit,” he cursed grabbing his phone and shoving it into his pocket. Celeste couldn’t help but smirk at his reaction, it was good to know that she wasn’t the only one affected by this impromptu meeting. ‘Celeste, hi,” he said standing up to greet her. They both moved at the same time leading to a rather awkward moment where Caleb moved forward for a hug while Celeste moved to sit down. “Oh right, uhm- “ Caleb said sitting down across from her. Celeste felt bad when she noticed the frown on his face but reminded herself that first, this is apparently this was a business meeting and two they hadn’t talked in six months.

“You ordered for me?” she asked nodding to the mug of hot chocolate and coconut slice in front of her.

“Oh yeah I figured since I called you here I should pay,” he said scratching his neck, “You still like coconut slices right?” he asked. Celeste wanted to be petty and claim that she didn’t like them but that wouldn’t help this situation at all.

“Yes though after my day I think I need something a bit stronger than a hot chocolate,” Celeste said bringing the mug to her hand and letting the warmth seep through her fingers.

“Oh –“he said with a tilt of his head. “If you have a bad a day when can reschedule,” he said brows furrowing as he watched her.

“No, it’s fine, whatever you want to discuss with me is important enough for you to break six months of silence so I am sure it can’t wait,” she said surprised by how bitter sounded. She had no idea why she acted like that; she swore she was going to be professional but the words just spewed out of her mouth. “I am sorry – “ she said quickly, looking down as her cheeks heated up.

“Celeste,” Caleb said his voice sounding found far to fond for her heart to handle, “It’s fine, I deserved that – I just – my ego was a little wounded,” he said with a disappointed chuckle. “I’ve been rejected a few times but never have been told that the person would and I quote ‘rather die’ than go out with me,” he said.

“That’s not what I said,” Celeste shouted, earning looks from the other costumers. Covering her mouth as her face turned completely red. “I was talking about the wedding,” she said after a moment, “I said I would rather die than go to a wedding not that I would rather die than go out with you,” she said eyes closing out of sheer embarrassment, maybe if she pretended she wasn’t here she wouldn’t feel like a complete idiot.

“Wait really?” Caleb perked up. Celeste tried not to let his reaction get to her not ready to deal with the repercussions of him looking so happy about the fact she didn’t reject. She couldn’t even consider the possibility that he had wanted her to be his date, it was probably he wanted a friend to go with him.

“Yes,” she coughed, “Anyway back to why you actually called me here? “she said.

“Oh right,” Caleb said, “Well I have a proposition for you,” he said. Celeste cocked an eyebrow up at him taking a sip of her hot chocolate in an attempt to stop herself commenting on his word choice. Judging by the way the corner of his lips turned up in a smirk she was pretty sure he knew what he was doing. “One of the models in my agency is looking to go into acting and I wanted to come to the best,” he said, eyes twinkling as he looked at her. Celeste couldn’t help but smile, hoping the blush that was back on her cheeks wasn’t too noticeable.

“I am sure your agency would love hearing that,” Celeste said with a laugh. “And does this model have any acting experience?” Celeste asked. Models going into acting was a dime a dozen these days, it seemed once the fashion world had enough of you the next was acting even if you had no skills. Caleb and a few others were rare success stories.

Caleb smiled bashfully, “No official work but trust me I think he has it you know,” Caleb said. Celeste bit the inside of her cheek, she didn’t want to offend Caleb again, especially since it seemed like they were on good terms again, but his word wasn’t enough for her to want to even look into this kid.

“Cal,” Celeste started, “Look I,” she started to say before Caleb started to pout, eyes widening and lip jutting out. “Seriously puppy dog eyes? Do they normally work?”

“They used to, I seem to remember someone looking after me when I was sick because I gave her my infamous puppy dog eyes,” he said with a soft smile. Celeste's heart sped up a few beats, that smile – why did she have to be so affected by him.

“Yes well I was young - and it didn’t have any lasting effect on my career. I can’t just sign someone to spellbound Cal, even if this kid was the next Meryl Streep, Alec would literally kill me – “ she said picking at her coconut slice.

“Can you at least meet him for me?” Caleb said, “Seriously Cel, Daniel has it. He reminds me of me when I was young and I did so well so –“ he trailed off, a cheeky grin on his face. “Plus he has got to be better than Melinda Whybother,” he said smirking knowingly.

“You saw the interview didn’t you?” Celeste groaned, “Look I didn’t want to sign her, her family has a lot of money behind them and – wait how did you even know Melissa is working for Spellbound?” she asked brows furrowing.

“Oh,” this time it was Caleb’s turn to go red, “Well I mind have checked in on you from time to time,” he said looking down avoiding eye contact, “Not in a creepy way just in a ….. you were, are, important to me way,” he muttered.

Celeste wanted to tease him but given her own tendencies to stalk his social media’s during the last six months she decided against it. “It’s okay,” Celeste said. “You are right no one can be as bad as Melissa Wilson but I really can’t just take your word for it, Cal,” she said apologetically. “but, I will meet this Daniel guy and see –“ she added watching as Caleb’s face broke out to a big grin. Caleb’s grin was so infectious Celeste couldn’t help but smile back, that or she was whipped for him and she didn’t want to consider that.

Celeste was about to say something when her phone began ringing loudly. With an annoyed sigh, she pulled it out seeing that her four-month pregnant roommate Autumn was calling her. “Excuse me,” she said to Caleb as she answered the call. Celeste didn’t really get a chance to speak because it was basically Autumn listing items she needs to get on the way home. Celeste rolled her eyes when she hangs up, she loved Autumn honestly but her pregnancy and her relationship with the baby daddy was causing all sorts of issues with Celeste.

“Sorry to cut this short but I got to head home,” Celeste said with a small smile. “Text me so we can sort this meetup, let's make it at most three months instead of six this time,” she laughed as she stood up.

“Shut up,” Caleb huffed standing up as well, “Hang on I’ll get you a bag so you can take your slice home,” he said before jogging over to the counter. Celeste watched as the server was instantly won over by Caleb who turned to her with a thumbs up. Celeste snorted, she had momentarily forgotten that underneath the very handsome exterior was an adorable dorky interior.

“Here you go,” Caleb said handing Celeste an empty paper bag and one that was filled by a cupcake. Celeste raised an eyebrow, “It’s to say sorry about the whole not talking thing and thank you for meeting with me regardless,” he said sweetly.

“Oh, uhm thank you,” Celeste smiled, placing both into her bag. “You really didn’t have to,” she said shifting awkwardly on her feet. “Anyway I gotta go,” she said. Turning to go before stopping and swinging around again, “I-“ she said before closing her mouth and hugging a shocked Caleb. “You know to make up for before,” she said quickly pulling away and practically running out of the café.

She got down the street before her phone chimed again, fishing it out of her pocket she checked it. Celeste couldn’t help but laugh as she read over her most recent message. It seemed Caleb decided that 3 minutes was long enough for him to text her again.

is this soon enough? 😘 😜 😘 😜

#celeste

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