#anyway. if you read this far you deserve to know i have a wip where charles is pregnant and i like it. idk. theyre silly

[raspberrysmoon]

if any of you knew how i think about these men i think you would block me. tbh. i mean this in the silliest funniest way ever

[di-42]

May's Magnificent Fictions

First off let me share with you a little side note, because the brain wants what the brain wants. After an inner struggle I've finally decided to settle on using the noun "fiction" as countable when referring to works of fanfiction. I will stick to this. It has been bothering me.

And now for something completely enjoyable, let me present to you the lovely fics I've been lucky enough to read in May. I't's been a busy, at times stressful month and I haven't had the chance to read as many as I would have liked. I only made a tiny dent in my Marked for later list, which keeps growing and isn't it wonderful? I still have so much beauty, creativity and bliss to look forward to.

I'll try and tag the writers whose tumblr username I know, so they know how loved they are.

WIPs:

The first two WIPs of this list have made me realise that my new favourite trope is the "they never met" one. Or it might just be that both writers are incredibly good!

My Heart Was Always Yours by @addledmongoose

I love this fic and the author's other work so much that sometimes I worry the writer might think I'm stalking them or something! (I'm not! I promise! I only kind of start staring at my phone around 6pm on a Friday night UK time waiting for an update, that's all!). Anyway. like I was saying, in this fiction Aziraphale and Crowley never met until present day and, at the beginning of the story, neither of them knows the other is an angel or a demon. They have both been tasked by their respective head offices to retrieve Raphael's trumpet so Armageddon can start and they both want to find it and destroy it. So they embark on a journey together, thinking that the other is human. This story is so good. It has an incredibly well thought out plot, the characterisation of both, Aziraphale and Crowley are spot on, their interactions are funny and witty but also deep and very sweet. But the point that's dearest to me is that it shows the character of Aziraphale the respect it deserves, which sadly happens less often than it should. The way the writer describe the building of their relationship and their trust will fill your heart with warmth. The stoty has alternate Aziraphale and Crowley POVs and it's narrated in the first person, which will read funny at first but it will flow within the first couple of chapters and it will have been worth it!

This fiction is updated officially every Saturday but if you're very lucky and depending where you are in the world it might be Friday. Only a few more weeks to go, though, it's almost complete and I'll miss it (But I'll re-read it!) Rated M.

The Last Angel by @bellisima-writes

This is another excellent "they never met" story. In this universe, Crowley and Aziraphale were stationed on earth, Armageddon happened, and Hell won the war. All the angels have been killed, except one. This story only has the first 6 chapters out, but you can already see the wonderful job the author has done of thinking how Aziraphale and Crowley would be without having ever met each other, what would be the same and what would be different. And the same goes for other characters, too: so far we've had an insight of how Beelzebub is like in a different universe and hints at how other characters would behave as well. It is full of promise, it sets expectations that I'm hoping will be subverted and the writer is doing such an excellent job with it all. Please go and show this story some love, you won't regret it!

This fiction is updated weekly, definitely every Friday, but I understand from now on every Wednesday and Friday. Rated M.

The Escort by VinyamaDN @vinyama-23

Human AU where Crowley is an escort and Aziraphale hires him for a date. They start getting to know each other and the rest is history. This story touches very delicate subjects, but it's also funny and fluffy. Please read the tags. Rated E.

Whickber Street by Caedmon @caedmonfaith

Lovely human AU where Aziraphale has a bookshop in Whickber Street and Crowley opens a comic book shop on the same road. It's a slow burn, from one-enemy-to-lovers story, full of humour, charm and fluff. Featuring all the shopkeepers in Whickber Street, which is a treat! Update every Monday and Thursday without fail. Rated E.

Complete works:

And Now All Of My Garden Is Grown In Lavender by ilikeblue

I'm so grateful to my lovely mutual and penpal @dashuntsel for recommending this great human AU. Aziraphale is a successful queer romance author whose books are being adapted for TV. At the start of his career, his agent, Gabriel, insisted he claims to be married in order to gain more readers. Now that the spotlight is on him, Aziraphale needs someone to play the part of his husband. Did I mention that Crowley is Aziraphale's gardener and friend? I'm sure you know where this is going. This story has a little angst and lots of good vibes of trust, friendship, love and loyalty. And a happy ending! Rated E.

Lit by @fellshish

Fellshish is one of my favourite fiction writers and this piece doesn't disappoint. Making people laugh is much more difficult than making people cry and fellshish succeeds in the task so effortlessly! (They can also make you laugh while wanting to cry, but for that you'll have to read their other stories. This one is angst-free). Time-wise this story can be collocated after season 1 and is not canon compliant with season 2. Crowley enrolls in a literature course without realising it was a fantasy literature course. The book that will be read this semester is "Good Omens - The Nice And Accurate Prophecies Of Agnes Nutter, Witch". And the class will get to meet the author, Neil Gaiman. This book seems to describe only too well the event leading to the failed Armageddon, including things that only Aziraphale and Crowley would know. How is that possible? And what would happen if it fell on heavenly or hellish wrong hands? And, oh Satan, did someone say TV adaptation?? A truly amazing, funny piece that will make you feel better after a hard day at work. Rated Teen and up.

Gate Duty by Ginger_cat @gingiekittycat

Not really a crossover, but a Good Omens fiction with elements of The Good Place. You can absolutely read it and enjoy it if you haven't seen The Good Place. placed in time post season 1. Aziraphale is called back to heaven to Gate Duty and he's decided to go despite Crowley's protest. Crowley has Beelzebub assign him to Gate Duty as well, so they don't have to spend 300 years apart. So they set to out to judge the souls and decide whether to send them to the good place or the bad place, as they have rebranded heaven and hell. In the process they meet a few souls that you might or might not know, not the focus of the story. This fiction manages to be funny and incredibly angsty at the same time and it was incredible to see how some of the details in it would resonate with season 2, which wasn't out at the time the fic was written. Rated E.

Of Size And Other Matters by LCwrites

Lovely from strangers to lovers, fake relationship human AU. Aziraphale needs a date to accompany him to an event hosted by his brother, Gabriel. Crowley receives a text from a stranger, clearly by mistake, but why not having some fun? I really like the dynamics between them, the ease and the trust. A tiny bit of angsty pining but quickly and happily resolved. Rated E.

One shot:

Not Nice by Sad_chaos_goblin @sad-chaos-goblin

Great one shot that follows the wall slamming scene!What would have happened if the former nun hadn't interrupted their "Intimate moment"? This fic is a treat, sweet and hot and fluffy all at the same time. Rated E.

[wangxianficfinder]

In the mood for...

~*~

1. In the mood for Wei Wuxian being raised as a fierce corpse like Wen Ning, so he has super strength and doesn't need to eat and all that. Anything past that can be a surprise: is he raised by the Wens and must fight against his friends? By the Jins when everyone else thinks he is dead? Does he somehow raise himself? Etc. Thank you!

to share this burden you must first live by shi_q1ngxuan (M, 3k, WangXian, JYL & WWX, Angst, Temporary Character Death, Golden Core Transfer, Fix-It of Sorts, Demonic Cultivator LWJ, Everybody Lives, except for wwx, Yúnmèng Siblings Feels, Is it really a happy ending if one of them is a corpse?, Character Study)

There Are More Than One Reason Undead Raise Series by Storyboradinventor (M/T, XuanLi, WangXian, JC & WWX, Undead!WWX, Angst, Canon Divergence, Undead!Yiling Patriarch, Sunshot Campaign, Bittersweet Ending, Some Humor)

❤️ A Corpse Called By Name by jaemyun (Not rated, 60k, wangxian, angst w/ happy ending, zombie apocalypse, zombie WWX, yunmeng trio) It's a modern setting and zombie apocalypse AU, so it's a bit different from what was asked. But it's a very good fic that does have wwx with super strength!

monsters cannot break her stride by Stratisphyre (G, 3k, WangXian, Canon Divergence, JYL Lives, outsider pov)

~*~

2. Hello!! Your blog is such a masterpiece, great public service, thank you so much!

Can we get some recs for fics where LWJ does get married during his years of waiting? Maybe for convenience, maybe by obligation to his clan... If Wei Wuxian is back it would be even more fun, but not necessary

Thank you! @eldritch-bisexual​

The light of you will stay by orphan_account (M, 74k, wangxian, LWJ/OFC, arranged marriage, hurt/comfort, canonical character death, angst w/ happy ending, endgame wangxian)

Ghost Wedding by nirejseki (G, 4k, WangXian, Canon Divergence, Ghost wedding, Introspection, Crack Treated Seriously, mostly seriously anyway, Good Uncle LQR) does it count if it's Wei Ying's ghost he's marrying? 😅 then Ghost Marriage by Nirejseki fits

We can light a match and burn it down by Ibijau (T, 78k, WangXian, Arranged Marriage, Canonical Character Death, Angst, Pining, Canon Divergence, Morally Ambiguous Character, Friendship, platonic marriage, Open Marriage, Happy Ending)

alloy by darkredloveknot (enheduane) (E, 3k, WangJue, Background romantic wangxian, Lwj pines for and grieves wwx, Hook-Up, Grief/Mourning, Dirty Talk, NMJ POV, Bottom LWJ, Emotional Hurt/Comfort)

~*~

3. hi! i really like the absolute vibes of mdzs siblings being ride or die for each other, so i'd love (adore, really) some fics that demonstrate that? specifically like someone doing batshit stuff to keep their sibling safe (say like, cut out their core, or walk into enemy territory to seek the person who *checks notes* singlehandedly murdered a BUNCH of ppl with your surname, or like, that bridge scene in fatal journey i forgot a lil) i know this isn't rly a simple tag to search so thank you!!

Duel of the Twins by @theladyofravenclaw​ (T, 29k, wangxian, JYL/JZX, star wars au, scifi, major character death, canon-typical violence, mild gore, mild body horror, mentions of suicide, angst w/ happy ending, yunmeng siblings feels, twin prides of yunmeng angst, WIP)

~*~

4. Itmf your favorite fics of 2023 (or late 2022) so far! I feel like the newer fics always get buried by more well-known writers so I'd love to read great fics from lesser known writers that deserve some more love.

💙 Su She Eats his Heart Out by KizuKatana (T, 16k, WangXian, 3rd person pov, implied offscreen wangxian sex)

💙 Call again by apathyinreverie (T, 5k, wangxian, LXC & LWJ, LXC & WWX, modern, oblivious WWX, gremlin LXC, smitten LWJ, possessive LWJ, not Jiang friendly, hinst at mafia, fluff, romance)

💖 Paths untaken by apathyinreverie (T, 6k, wangxian, LSZ & WWX, canon divergence, fix-it, fluff, not cultivation world friendly, smitten LWJ)

💖 One Can Keep A Secret (If He Does Not Know It's There) by H_Belle (T, 5k, wangxian, NHS & WWX, modern w/ cultivation, inventor WWX, secret identity, identity reveal, YLLZ WWX, rogue cultivator WWX, pining LWJ, WWX pov)

Late Night, North Station by raitala (G, 9k, WangXian, LSZ & LWJ, Modern AU, Kid Fic, Gen or Pre-Slash hints of wangxian, finding your found family, A-Yuan is a sweetie)

hey I just met you, and this is crazy by KeriArentikai (E, 9k, WangXian, POV Outsider, Woke Up Married, married in vegas but with a twist, (the twist is that they totally meant to), Getting Together, Love at First Sight, LWJ Has a Canonically Big Dick, Size Kink, Dirty Talk, Coming Untouched, Unrealistic Sex, Wangxian Speedrun)

perennial by jublis (Not Rated, 173k, WangXian, Canon Compliant, Heavy Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, Humor, Domestic Fluff, Golden Core Reveal, BAMF WQ, Good Uncle JC, Grief/Mourning)

Wind Rose in the Clouds by PaidSubscription (M, 202k, wangxian, post-canon, slow burn, hurt/comfort, getting together, first time, smut, fluff & angst, case fic, social commentary, ptsd, sick fic, communication, inventor WWX)

Mud on Your Feet by AvoOwO (Not Rated, 59k, WangXian, Post-Canon, Sleepwalking, Sleeptalking, Angst, Insomnia, Delusions, Hurt WWX, Soft JC, Protective JC, Fluff, Angst with a happy ending, PTSD)

~*~

5. Also itmf really good long fics! Ones that have great world building and character arcs, just an epic tale, the kind that you put down and just go wow. Preferably completed fics but I'm also okay with WIPS if they've not been abandoned.

I usually mean long by like...looooong so anywheres around 80k to start. But for that one I was more looking for good plot/worldbuilding, which can be done in shorter fics! So as long as that's there (that feeling of "omg this world is amazing and full and I want to live here") I think the rec would be great! (The more fics the better tbh 😌)

💙 Song Unwritten by Kytrin & Mslead (E, 94k, wangxian, temporary character death, angst w/ happy ending, fix-it of sorts, cql meets mdzs, parallel universes, transmigration, yiling wei sect au, YLLZ WWX)

❤️ a stone to break your soul, a song to save it by rikke (M, 180k, wangxian, Canon Divergence, arranged marriage) 

Love Song In Reverse by timetoboldlygo (T, 237k, WangXian, Amnesia, Canon Divergence, Angst with a Happy Ending, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Non-Sexual Intimacy, Falling In Love, Slow Burn, agressively mixing and matching novel and cql canon, No Homophobia, Mentions of Starvation, Parental WWX) 

you’ve ruined my life (by not being mine) by cicer (E, 132k, WangXian, Modern AU, Developing Relationship, Idiots in Love, Awkward Flirting, teenage romance, Shameless WWX, slowburn, Demisexuality, references to lqr’s a+ parenting, references to jfm’s a+ parenting, but we’re gonna get a happy ending ANYWAY, references to yzy’s a+ parenting, Background NMJ/LXC, hints of nmj/lxc/jgy, bottom LWJ in chapter 15) 

Time Kept Flowing by notoneforreality (T, 201k, WangXian, Canon Divergence, Grief/Mourning, major character death is wwx, who comes back, Family, Autistic LWJ, Kid Fic, JC and LWJ raise the kids, Co-parenting is hard, Emotional Hurt/Comfort) 

❤️ kick at the darkness ‘til it bleeds daylight by AlfAlfAlfAlfAlf, tardigradeschool (T, 75k, WangXian, Hurt/Comfort, Everyone Lives/Nobody Dies, Eventual Happy Ending, Getting Together, Burial Mounds Settlement Days, Inspired by The Parent Trap (1998), Kid Fic, teen shenanigans, two a-yuans, Fluff and Angst) 

Give Me A Reason by useless_slytherclaw (M, 251k, ZhuiYi, LSZ & LWJ & WWX, Junior Quartet, Angst with a Happy Ending, Heavy Angst, Friends to Lovers, Post-Canon, Canon Compliant, Mutual Pining, Minor WangXian, Minor JL/OYZZ, Aged-Up Character(s), Grief/Mourning, PTSD, Dreams and Nightmares, Hurt/Comfort, Rogue Cultivator LJY, Family Feels, Demisexual LJY, Injury Recovery, Love Confessions)

soaring, carried aloft on the wind by Skadiseven (E, 68k, NieLan, WangXian, Canon Divergence, Arranged Marriage, Horses, Swordfights, hunting hawks, and braids of course, Romance, Friendship, Twin Jades of Lán Dynamics, Light Angst)

Duel of the Twins by @/theladyofravenclaw​ (T, 29k, wangxian, JYL/JZX, star wars au, scifi, major character death, canon-typical violence, mild gore, mild body horror, mentions of suicide, angst w/ happy ending, yunmeng siblings feels, twin prides of yunmeng angst, WIP)

Twin Demons of Mò by XiaoFeiFei (M, 358k, MXY & WWX, WangXian, Implied/Referenced Suicide, Injury, Abuse, Twin Demons of Mo, MXY Lives, Major Character Injury, Implied/Referenced Self-Harm, Angst, Minor Character Death, Angst with a Happy Ending, Character Death, Minor Implied/Referenced Incest, Implied/Referenced Torture, Near Death, Near Death Experiences, Canon Divergence, Self-Harm, Found Family, Sexual Abuse, Rape/Non-con Elements, POV Alternating)

I will be chasing a starlight by feyburner, sundiscus (E, 71k, WangXian, Star Trek Fusion, Vulcan LWJ, Slow Burn, Friends to Lovers, Misunderstandings, Mutual Pining, Eventual Smut, Angst with a Happy Ending, Pon Farr, Mind Meld, Fuck Or Die, Anal Sex, Hurt/Comfort)

A Narrow Bridge by FrameofMind, Jo Lasalle (Jo_Lasalle) (E, 700k, WangXian, Time Travel Fix-It, Canon Divergence, Slow Burn, Getting Together, First Time, Pining while fucking, Burial Mounds Settlement Days, Angst with a Happy Ending, CQL Verse, almost everybody lives/almost nobody dies, epistolary-ish, canon-ish side pairings, radishes)

An Elegant Solution by giraffeter (E, 205k, niewangxian, canon divergence, arranged marriage, friends to lovers, fix-it, everyone lives au, courtship, polyamory, smut)

There was that snow storm ask for long fics earlier this month, anon could read through that for recs too

~*~

6. for the next itmf, i am in search of some wei changze & wei wuxian interactions, or just some fics that explore wcz character (we see so little of him in both canon and fanon). there is many about and focusing at wei ying's mother but i need a little of daddy wei. specifically, is there any fics where it's only CSSR that dies? thank you for the good work 🤍

the world wags on by justdoityoufucker (T, 5k, WCZ & WWX, WCZ & LQR, WCZ/LQR, canon divergence, pre-canon, not everyone dies au, not Jiang friendly, past child abuse, canon Jiang family relationships, parent-child relationship, not YZY friendly, pre-relationship)

tall as the mountains that sheltered us by thelastdboy (M, 4k, CSSR/WCZ, CSSR & WWX & WCZ, wangxian, canon divergence, CSSR & WCZ live, crack treated seriously, childhood friends to lovers, genius WWX, inventor WWX, bg character death, happy ending, WCZ pov) re that rec for #6, cssr doesn't die in this one tho.

~*~

7. Hi! itmf for nhs & wwx friendship exploration where they get to gossip and shit talk about everyone and everything while painting fans or smth also being menaces to society or just gremlins in general and then protecc each other from people that want to hurt them and just being besties

~*~

8. Hello! for next itmf I would like find fic like "if you can't beat them, recruit them" or basically fics where wwx is politically savvy and very clever boi who plays everyone behind their backs while being his competent and talented self

~*~

9. Hello there, for IITMF can I have some fics where lan zhan is kinda being overwhelmed by his feeling of love and adoration for wei Ying? Or where lan zhan is being reminded that he loves wei Ying so freaking much. Preferably where they're in an established relationship, but anything is okay really. TYSM have a nice day.

💖 Pentimento. by orange_crushed (E, 73k, wangxian, modern, college/university au, art conservation, museums, pining, not actually unrequited love, angst w/ happy ending, misunderstandings, smut, major character injury, hospitalization, hurt/comfort, past incarceration, forgery) They get together pretty quickly so much of the fic is established

🧡 paint smears on sunny days by SnowshadowAO3 (E, 53k, WangXian, Comfort, Fluff and Smut, Everyone Is Alive, Modern AU, Dadji, Mutual Pining, Happy Ending, Brief Alcohol Mention, Masturbation, Blow Jobs, Hand Jobs, Accidentally co-parenting with your son's art teacher, Fatherhood)

I know what my heart wants by yakuso5u (Not Rated, 28k, WangXian, Modern AU, Single Father LWJ, Fluff, Mutual Pining, Getting Together, Accidental Child Acquisition, Domestic, Slice of Life, Christmas references)

live from new york by varnes (E, 87k, wangxian, JYL/JZX, This is a SNL AU, however the juniors are featured and there are lots of shenanigans!, slow burn, friends to lovers, pining, getting together, happy ending)

box your errors by mellowflicker (T, 42k, WangXian, Modern AU, single dad lwj, Domestic Fluff, Family Issues, Slow Burn, Kid Fic, let lwj have friends agenda, Hurt/Comfort, Pining)

总有一天; a place to hide (can’t find one near) by yiqie (E, 76k, WangXian, Modern AU, Pianist, Getting Together, Mental Health Issues, Suicide Attempt, Suicidal Thoughts, Depression, Hospitals, Overdosing, Eventual Happy Ending, Hurt/Comfort, Additional Warnings In Author's Note)

~*~

10. Hello! Hope you doing fine!

A) I've been thinking about swords in mdzs, in particular about how jl inherited suihua and now I'm in the mood for a fic where wwx passes suibian to wield to someone. Preferably Lan/Wei/Wen Sizhui or another kid whom he adopted or accepted as a disciple, just want to see him pass on his legacy as a once a great swordsman in the form of suibian to someone who makes him proud

B) Also it'll be cool if there was a fic where he gets to inherit his parents swords, either his mother's or father's or both even

10A)

❤️ kick at the darkness ‘til it bleeds daylight by AlfAlfAlfAlfAlf, tardigradeschool (T, 75k, WangXian, Hurt/Comfort, Everyone Lives/Nobody Dies, Eventual Happy Ending, Getting Together, Burial Mounds Settlement Days, Inspired by The Parent Trap (1998), Kid Fic, teen shenanigans, two a-yuans, Fluff and Angst) (Link in #5) WWX passes Suibian to A-Yuan, can't remember if it happens on screen though

Just as the Snow Melts by draechaeli (T, 66k, WangXian, XuanLi, SongXiao, Everybody Lives, Canon Divergence) has wwx passing suibian to lsz

~*~

11. itmf: fics where wangxian simply take a step back from the cultivation world. be it that they live in a bamboo hut in the middle of the forest, are rogue cultivators going where the chaos is, or simply deny the cultivation sects of their help, or just come to save the day and go back to their sweet married life; if they happen to show the faults from both gusu lan and yummeng jiang sects as well even better. I have been feeling bitter these days, those boys deserve so much

the journey is far from over series by lastdboy (E, 164k, LXC & LWJ, LWJ & MM, Madam Lan & LWJ, wangxian, modern, canon divergence, everyone lives au, Madam Lan lives, post-sunshot, selectively mute LWJ, wen remnants live, LWJ saves the Wens, whipping, neurodevergent LWJ, stimming, hurt/comfort, angst, coming of age, slow burn, recovery, mental health issues, references to depression, single parent WWX, eventual smut)

To live with no regrets Series by Lyna_Mei (E, 66k, WIP, WangXian, Fix-It of Sorts, Canon Divergence, Angst, Self-Esteem Issues, Golden Core Reveal, Anal Fingering, Anal Sex, Oral Sex, Bottom LWJ, Top WWX, Developing Relationship, non-consensual marriage, CQL-Verse, Case Fic, Established Relationship, Somebody Lives/Not Everyone Dies, Cultivation World Critical, Not MY Friendly, Family Feels, Found Family, WWX Has a New Golden Core, Top/Bottom Versatile | Switch WangXian, Anal Sex) First part is how they leave the cultivation world. Second Part is when the sects come to ask for help

❤️ Attempting the Impossible by Ariaste (T, 36k, JC & WWX, WangXian, Reconciliation, Adoption, Adopted Children, JC POV, Family Feels, Family Fluff, the Yunmeng Bros make up, Post-Canon, the Wangxian Need More Kids agenda, Original Character(s), Kid Fic, Family Drama, Fluff, and like a tiny dab of angst, [PODFIC] Attempting the Impossible by Ariaste by lunatique) lan zhan has a falling out with LQR and builds a house for Wei ying outside of the CR, and they adopt eleventy kids (JC POV fic)

And They Have Escaped The Weight of Darkness by cosmicmilktea (T, 10k, WangXian, Canon Divergence, Amnesia, Memory Loss, Grief/Mourning, Implied/Referenced Sexual Assault, Screw the Cultivation world tbh, The Lan precepts deserves better, Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Falling In Love, domestic life, Social justice boyfriends wangxian, Happy Ending)

Rules and Regulations by Reverie (cl410) (T, 1k, WangXian, Post-Canon lan sect rules, Baby Lans, Established Relationship, POV LWJ, LWJ has had Enough, Antagonistic LQR, not like majorly but he is Not Happy and Not Shy about sharing his feelings, Angst with a Happy Ending)

wide enough and wild by impossibletruths (E, 64k, WangXian, Canon Divergence, Getting Together, Canonical Accidental Baby Acquisition, Families of Choice, References to Depression, Happy Ending, I Swear To God I'm Giving Them A Happy Ending, Overzealous Use Of Imagery, Everyone Lives/Nobody Dies, Well Except WN But He Was Already Dead So, Fix-It of Sorts, [Podfic] Wide Enough and Wild by semperfiona_podfic (semperfiona))

~*~

12. hello mods 💞 im in the mood for some juniors quartet time traveling fix its

❤️ Tragedy is Not the End by Hobbsy3 (T, 358k, wangxian, Time Travel, Torture, Hurt/Comfort, Golden Core Reveal, Canon Divergence from Qiongqi Pass, Angst with a Happy Ending, Implied/Referenced Rape/Non-con, Yunmeng sibling bonding, good dad wwx, good dad lwj, JZX Lives, JYL Lives, Junior Quartet Dynamics)

Would You Come Home? by s6115 (Not rated, 46k, WangXian, Junior Quartet Centric, Time Travel Fix-It, Canon Divergence, Junior Quartet Dynamics) Though has a rather loose definition of "Time Travel" that the Juniors achieve

❤️ nevermore, nevermore by agloeian (T, 120k, lan sizhui & everyone, wangxian, canon divergence, time travel fix-it, hurt/comfort, fluff, angst w/ happy ending) Also, if you don't mind only one junior (that is, Sizhui) traveling back, since I haven't read any others with all/most of the juniors going back; nevermore, nevermore by agloeian is very good!

~*~

13. Okay, thought might be too specific and not exist, but I’m in the mood for a fun fic of teenage cloud recesses era defense of WWX’s honor, after Lan Zhan makes a move. Preferably with Jiang Cheng being a good brother and also in an absolute tizzy. And like it was all totally consensual and actually pretty tame, but Lan Zhan was being a Top, and they were being their WangXian selves so it’s very much like “Lan Wangji you must take responsibility!” Maybe other Jiang family members show up at the lectures since it’s kind of an inter-sect incident at that point. Just cloud recesses era defense of Wei wuxians honor. (Not looking for any non-con or anything too explicit, just like, young love) Thank you for everything you do! @fibbunny

SIMILAR! could you find a way to let me down slowly, if you're leaving baby let me down slowly by ravenditefairylights (M, 36k, WangXian, Canon Divergence, Golden Core Reveal, Implied/Referenced Sex, Miscommunication, Somebody Lives/Not Everyone Dies, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Angst with a Happy Ending, Twin Prides of Yúnmèng Dynamics, Hurt WWX, Mutual Pining, Unreliable Narrator, Self-Esteem Issues, Twin Prides of Yúnmèng Feels, Protective Siblings, Trauma, Slightly dubious consent, courtesy of drunk sex, Inventor WWX, Genius WWX, Phoenix Mountain, Chronic Pain, Getting Together, Fix-It of Sorts, One Braincell Trio, PTSD)

SIMILAR! The Teapot Plot by ToxicAngel13 (M, 51k, WangXian, Misunderstandings, protective Jiang siblings, Golden Core Reveal, Golden Core Transfer Fix-It, Idiots in Love, Post-Sunshot Campaign, Pre-Burial Mounds, Potential for M-Preg, Fix-It, Emotional Hurt/Comfort)

~*~

14. hi lovelies, do you you know if there are any formula one fics out there 🥺

Twitter thread by Cosmicmilktea, cosmicmilktea wrote a super cool f1 thread on twt with fanart! i absolutely adore this story

~*~

15. Does anyone know some fics of Zewu-jun in seclusion that deal with his mental health/grief? Maybe ones where he sees ghosts/hallucinates?Thank you!! @the-vaguely-shifting-void

but then the earth comes back to life, and the sun must go on rising by corduroyserpent (T, 9k, XiYao, Hurt/Comfort, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Suicidal Thoughts, Suicide Attempt, Grief/Mourning, background wangxian, LXC in Seclusion)

sleep tight, in a new light (through another warning call) by ilgaksu (T, 13k, XiYao, Post-Canon, LXC in Seclusion, Grief/Mourning, Dead Dove: Do Not Eat, Please read author's note at the beginning, lack of autonomy, Dubious Consent)

Scholar's Rock by Zaatar (G, 3k, LXC & LWJ, XiYao, Canon Compliant, Grief/Mourning, Character Study, POV Second Person, POV LXC, Post-Canon, Angst, LXC in Seclusion, LXC Has Feelings, Twin Jades of Lán Dynamics)

Soft Sword by CwythanWind (T, 1k, XiYao, Post-Canon, LXC in Seclusion, Canon Compliant, Grief/Mourning, Ghosts, dreamy and meditative, so many metaphors, swords in particular are a metaphor for a lot, colors too, arrays are a love language, Gentians, ambiguous but also definitely a happy ending, the zine was called second chances for a reason)

~*~

16. Hi there! I love what you guys do so much. I am in the mood for a fic where Mo Xuanyu is also a major character. I just want some good recommendations with mxy in them as well bc I love seeing how different authors write him. I am willing to read fics that have him together with Wangxian, but that is not necessary. Sorry if this is a weird request but I would appreciate help finding new fics. Thanks so much! 💜 @flamboyantly-asexual

Pocketful of Soul by Jenrose (T, 182k, WIP, WangXian, Time Travel Fix-It, Canon Divergence, It Gets Worse Before It Gets Better, Everyone Lives/Nobody Dies, BAMF MXY, MXY Lives, Genderfluid MXY, MXY Backstory, POV MXY, If At First You Don't Succeed Try Try Again and Again and Again, Wangxian Speedrun, times three because time travel, Found Family, Genius MXY, Genius WWX, Not particularly JGY friendly, CQL-based) TT MXY - be still my beating heart, this story forever changed how I saw MXY. He must be protected at all costs.

Twin Demons of Mò by XiaoFeiFei (M, 358k, MXY & WWX, WangXian, Implied/Referenced Suicide, Injury, Abuse, Twin Demons of Mo, MXY Lives, Major Character Injury, Implied/Referenced Self-Harm, Angst, Minor Character Death, Angst with a Happy Ending, Character Death, Minor Implied/Referenced Incest, Implied/Referenced Torture, Near Death, Near Death Experiences, Canon Divergence, Self-Harm, Found Family, Sexual Abuse, Rape/Non-con Elements, POV Alternating) (link in #5)

Serrated by InkSplatterM, MrMissMrsRandom (E, 194k, WangXianYu, Canon Divergence, MXY Lives, Dom MXY, Sub LWJ, Slow burn) the Sacrifice ritual leaves MXY and WWX sharing a body; WangXianYu

Different Paths to the Same Route by JustAWanderingBabbit (T, 184k, jjin guangyao & lan xichen & nie mingjue, 3zun, lan wangji & wei wuxian, canon divergence: AQ becomes XXC and SL’s first disciple) MXY is rescued from his shack at Mo Manor to resume cultivational training; he becomes a significant supporting character (and, in a delicious irony, one of the inventors of magical genetic testing) WWX is resurrected, but by different means.

514 by lao_you_tiao (T, 978, Canonical Character Death, Canon Compliant, Introspection, Angst, Heavy Angst, Ficlet, Implied/Referenced Suicide) MXY’s final thoughts before his death

Those 13 Years Were a Lie by AitchNKay (M, 11k,  Attempted Suicide, Angst, mentions of offscreen rape, Canonical Character Death) WWX (who has survived incognito) and MXY during the Years of Mourning; mind all the tags—this one gets dark dark dark)

Mo XuanYu Deserves Happiness by Daddy Jiang Cheng (gotaemin) (G, 1k, MXY crushing on JGY (who sees his brother as a useful tool.))

MXY Centric (no ships, unless you count established WangXian in background), chapter 30 of How Rare Would You Like Your Ship? by Befallings (Not Rated, 68k, WIP, Ratings vary, Tags vary, Ships vary) a Useless Onmyoji Family-inspired AU with MXY as an earnest-but-klutzy Magical Boy under the rascal-guru tutelage of WWX and adult supervision of LWJ

Catching Fate by XiaoFeiFei (G, 3k, gen, MXY & everyone, pokemon fusion, modern, WIP) a wild Trubbish invites herself into the life of beleaguered Pokémart employee MXY.

@/zeldacw has a lengthy MXY-centric comic series on Twitter, covering the events leading up to his suicide and continuing into his afterlife with OC Hell Judge Sir Xu; some of it is also available on her Tumblr

~*~

17. Hi!! Love to all the mods for their hard works! 💙💙 iitmf a fic where wwx is an author!

Hooray for Murder! by wearing_tearing (M, 47k, WangXian, NieLan, XuanLi, Modern AU, Additional Warnings In Author's Note, Murder Mystery, Case Fic, POV Alternating, Writer WWX, Pining LWJ, Canonical Character Death, WWX Has Memory Issues, Confessions, First Kiss, Smart JYL, Scheming NHS, True Love's Kiss, Happy Ending)

Bestseller by pupeez4eva (M, 7k, WangXian, Humor, Post-Canon, Wherein WWX writes erotica based entirely on his own sex life, and now everyone is reading it, and I mean everyone, though no one knows that WWX wrote it, WWX has a lot of regrets)

🧡 I Don't Want to Debut! by countingcr0ws (G, 56k, WangXian, Modern AU, Reality show, Idols, Actor LWJ, Forced Contestant WWX, Tencent's 2021 Idol Producer)

To Respect a Scholar by FlautistsandPeonies (G, 5k, wangxian, WWX & LQR, genius WWX, not JC friendly, author WWX)

see it through with wiser hands by belle_abroad (E, 4k, WangXian, Modern AU, Bookstore, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Praise Kink, Barebacking, bookstore owner LWJ, Author WWX)

rewrite what's gone already by belle_abroad (E, 6k, WangXian, Bookstore, Modern AU, INTIMATE NAMES ONLY, very specific bookstore experience)

Stay With Me by Toshokanin (E, 58k, WangXian, Modern AU, Canada, Librarian!LWJ, Author!WWX, Getting Together, Fluff and Smut, Mutual Pining, Idiots in Love, Minor NieLan, Meddling NHS, and they were ROOMMATES, oh my god they were roommates, In Vino Veritas, Hair-pulling, Face-Fucking, Blow Jobs, Anal Fingering, Hand Jobs, Marking, Mentioned CNC, Possessive Sex, Orgasm Delay)

Red Bunny and Blue Bunny are Friends by deliciousblizzardshark (G, 5k, WangXian, Modern AU, Kid Fic, Domestic Fluff, Author WWX, Parent LWJ, Pining LWJ, POV LSZ, Soft WangXian)

~*~

If you didn’t get an answer to your ask here, don’t forget to make use of @mdzs-kinkmeme and MDZS KINK MEME on Dreamwidth. Authors actually do use them for ideas. You may get what you order!***Your prompt doesn’t have to be kink! Fluff, crack, whatever - it’s all good!***

[farfromstrange]

Butterfly Effect | Michael Kinsella x Reader

Masterlist

Chapter Five: Double Espresso

Pairing: Michael Kinsella x Barista!Reader (I used she/her pronouns this time)

Summary: When Jimmy knocks at Michael's door, things are bound to escalate, and Michael makes a decision that is gravely going to affect both of you.

Warnings: ANGST, arguing, violence (brothers hitting each other), mention of seizures, mentions of canon character death, lots of swearing, Mikey is in pain so he's an ass

Word Count: 5k

A/n: I'm sorry for this chapter. I know some of you are going to absolutely hate me for this, but I promise that the next chapter will clear all that pain up and then we have another sweet epilogue chapter, I promise. Also, I did notice that having a clear plan for this miniseries made it so much easier to write, so the chapters are coming so fast after another because I know what I want to write and where I want it to go. If my other WIP’s could only flow like that *sigh* (also this plays after Michael’s release and before Jamie’s death, which might be important to note for some of the dialogue in here)

Read All Other Parts Here…

The sun behind the clouds casts a soft pink glow across the sky. Michael stands in his backyard, watching the sunset from the doorway, his shoulder leaning against the frame as he takes in the sight of the beautiful evening. He’s holding a cup of chai tea. After tasting the cup you were so kind to bring him, he decided to brew some espresso as well and add that with a little bit of milk and cinnamon. It’s nowhere near as good as yours, but the taste of the Dirty Chai runs on his tongue like ice cream and he feels at home. 

He gets to breathe fresh air now, he tells himself, he has a bed, proper food, and coffee, something he couldn’t have in prison. He can watch the sunset from his backyard and imagine what animals the clouds above him could portray. With a little bit of mindpower, he manages to make out a possible turtle and a knight, but he’s not sure how his brain sorts the pompous cloud as a knight; it has a striking resemblance with one of the pictures out of his history books. 

Sipping his Dirty Chai, he allows himself to rest for a moment. His lips curl into a soft smile as the wind brushes across his face and through his hair. It’s not particularly cold, not colder than usual anyway, but the oxygen feels good in his lungs, and his skin jumps in glee at the fresh air. 

You told him that you try not to let the world get to you. You try to be an optimist and that makes you happier. You’ve made peace with how your life is, even though you still feel guilty for not being able to finish the things you want to, and he envies that. He wishes he could do that. It would make life so much easier, but he also knows that even though you like to pride yourself on how well you’re doing, staying positive is hard and you’re struggling just as much as him. It makes him feel less alone to know he’s not the only one who feels so inevitably stuck. Your situations may be different, but he gets how you’re feeling and he could tell just from talking to you that you understand him without knowing all the details because you can see his pain, and his pain is something you yourself have felt before. Most of the time, you still do. 

He has to learn how to live with himself too, just like you. He has to learn that there are things he cannot change, but that those he can change require his full focus and that he needs to be happy with what he has before the yearning for something that’s so far out of reach breaks his heart completely and he will find himself in an even more helpless position. He doesn’t want to go back to being the man he was. He has changed for one person and one person only, and she deserves a father who is a hundred percent dedicated. He needs to be that man and to be that Michael, he needs to learn how to live with himself. Plain and simple. He needs to take a page out of your book and not try so hard to hide who he is just to appease others.

He can’t keep others safe when he’s running himself into the ground, and he can’t get Anna back like that either because then no court will ever grant him visitation rights ever again, and her grandma will have him dead before he can even breach the front door. Although he figures that might happen anyway. After what happened with Allison…

Michael shakes his head. He can’t let these thoughts in, not now, not when the sun looks as ephemeral as it does now. Sunsets are supposed to be relaxing, so relaxed is what he tries to be. Just for this particular moment, he wants to be completely free and not think about anything other than the relief he felt in the safety of your understanding arms. 

After the sun has set, he stays outside for a little while longer until he starts getting cold. He returns inside, cleans his now-empty mug, and finds himself once again staring at the napkin you left him. The Sharpie is barely readable anymore after all of his tears landed on it, but the X is still there. There is something so adorable about how nervous you are around him, and it even shows in the notes you left him. He still regrets throwing the cup away, but he has the napkin and he cherishes it like it’s an antique.

A knock on the door disturbs his peace. At least with you, the world around him didn’t exist, but now he’s alone and everything seems to be rushing back in. 

Michael makes his way to his front door and opens it. He expected it to be someone from his family, perhaps Birdy because the woman likes to check in on him from time to time or ask him for a cup of tea, knowing he tends to get lonely, and he appreciates her maternal bones, but it’s not her. In front of him stands his brother, Jimmy, and he doesn’t look happy. He never does, but he looks particularly grouchy tonight. 

He steps aside and lets him in, albeit hesitantly. 

“We need ta talk,” Jimmy says when he’s already halfway through the door. 

“About what?” Michael asks, closing the lock again behind him. 

He doesn’t want to talk, which is why he hasn’t been answering his brother’s calls, but even if he did, it’s been a long day and he is tired. Whatever Jimmy has to say to him, he doesn’t want to hear it. 

He looks around the house with curious eyes. 

“What’re you doin’?” 

“Are ya alone?” 

Michael nods. “Yeah.”

“Good. I’m not gonna sugarcoat it. Amanda told me somethin’,” Jimmy says. His eyes look dark, almost vacant in the dim living room light. 

There are a million things she could have told him, and he likes none of them. His heart stops. The history between Michael and Amanda is something he promised to keep hidden, although his brother isn’t stupid and the signs have never been clearer, considering the rather awkward reunion after he was released from prison. But why would he come to him now? Why would Amanda tell him? 

It’s not like Michael has ever been in love with his brother’s wife. He’s not sure why it happened; his feelings were conflicted back then and he screwed up. He always does. He lets the demons in his head guide him against his better judgment, and then shit happens. He’s not proud of it nor does he want to find excuses because what he did hurt not only his brother in a way but his wife and the family he’d always wanted and then lost. He doesn’t want to talk about it because he can’t explain himself – Michael knows he’s an asshole, but saying it to his brother’s face would be even more humiliating than carrying the knowledge around with him.

He tries not to show that he’s panicking. Instead, he moves to the kitchen and grabs both of them a beer. “Oh yeah?” he says, trying to sound nonchalant, although the guilt makes his eyes look particularly sunken in the darkness. “What did she tell ya?” 

Jimmy takes one of the bottles from him. He doesn’t look like he wants to punch him just yet, so maybe Amanda didn’t tell him about them. He’s not sure what other secrets she’s keeping, he can only remember the elephant in the room, but his mind is foggy and he tends to forget a lot, especially when it comes to the past. He either pushed all the memories away or his brain decided for itself to forget certain things to protect himself – and the seizures, not to speak about them. His family doesn’t know, but he does, and he hates to admit that they’re happening, but ever since getting out, they have only become more frequent.

His life is a mess and as Jimmy is standing before him now, ready to let some kind of guillotine fall on him, Michael wishes nothing more than for you to be there and take some of the edge off that is pushing him forward toward the abyss. 

“Have ya been goin’ out lately?” his brother asks.

The question surprises him. In his mind, he’s playing a game where he’s scratching off the things Amanda could have told her husband like a bad game of bingo, but they’re all over the place. 

What does his private life have to do with Amanda and Jimmy? He hasn’t been doing anything illegal. He is trying to go straight, they know that. Everyone knows that. They hate it, but he’s insistent. Michael is certain he didn’t do anything wrong and he isn’t planning on doing so anytime soon. 

Maybe it is about Anna? But that wouldn’t connect directly to Amanda and it wouldn’t be Jimmy but his lawyer and maybe Birdy because the woman actually cares. He’s not always sure if his brother cares like he pretends he does because there is a lot of unresolved tension – once again, he thanks himself for being such an idiot and Amanda for being herself – and that’s how he knows that Jimmy would be the last person to knock with news on his fight to get his daughter back. 

“What do you mean?” Michael asks with a frown. 

“Have ya been goin’ out?” Jimmy repeats his question. “On the town, tryin’ to pick up ladies, that sorta thing?”

His frown deepens. “What?”

“C’mon, ya can tell me, Mikey. I’m your brother.”

He is, but this feels more like an intervention than a friendly chat. It’s starting to dawn on him. While his visits to the café may have gone unnoticed, you came to visit him at work today, the same place that is a front for laundering money for all the Kinsella family business and Amanda was there this morning. She could have seen you. You kissed him across the street from the big windows and she could have easily watched the scene unfold, watched you hug him and kiss him, and Michael indulged in the kiss. 

Amanda must have seen you and she went right ahead and snitched to Jimmy that he has been spending time with you. You, the last person who should have to deal with his mess. You, someone normal and authentic. You, someone who has never done anything bad in your life. And you, the person Michael has found solace in and started telling his story to. He didn’t tell you details, but he told you his name and you could figure it all out if you wanted to, and he dragged you into it even though he knew he shouldn’t have. 

It’s you Jimmy is referring to, and his muscles instantly lock up. This isn’t about him anymore, this is about someone who has nothing to do with this life, you’ve just chosen to show the wrong man the best kind of affection and he refuses to let his brother or Amanda ruin this for him, let alone ruin you. 

“I don’t know what yer talkin’ about,” Michael says through gritted teeth. 

Jimmy scoffs. “Did Amanda see a ghost then?” 

“If ya told me what this is about–“

“You’ve been seein’ a woman, haven’t ya, Mikey?” he asks.

There it is. 

Michael puts his bottle down and stares at his brother. His features darken. “Don’t.”

“Don’t what?”

“Start this.”

“Start what, exactly? I’m just tryin’ ta have a conversation with my brother.”

“Ya know exactly what yer startin’, Jimmy. Don’t play coy.”

“Amanda saw you kissin’ a stranger and she said ya keep disappearin’. Ya don’t answer our calls. I’m sorry fer gettin’ worried about ya. Yer family, after all and I care about ya, Michael.”

It sounds like he’s blaming him now, which, given the circumstances, feels neither fair to him nor to you.

“Ya don’t know shit about my life!” He hasn’t raised his voice in a while, but when he does, it’s pure anger and a tinge of vulnerability that strain his vocal cords. The glass of the bottle hits the counter. 

“Hey,” Jimmy warns, “take it easy!”

He doesn’t want to take it easy. He’s far beyond the point where he can.

“I don’t know how this is any of your business,” says Michael, his eyes still staring coldly at his brother, “but yeah, I’ve met someone, and she’s good ta me. More doesn’t fuckin’ matter.”

“Michael, ya know what I’m gonna say and I hate ta say it.”

“Ya don’t have to.”

“I do ‘cause if this were anyone we know, I wouldn’t give a flyin’ fuck, but tha’ girl–“

“Leave her name out of your mouth or I swear to God–“

“Who is she?” 

“Doesn’t matter. I told ya.”

“A normal civilian then,” Jimmy says. “Amanda said she looks like that girl who works at the café down the street.”

Now they know who you are, too. His skin turns as cold as ice, and he can feel his blood boiling in his veins.

“Ya know what tha’ means, Michael?”

“Fuck,” he runs a hand over his face, “Of fuckin’ course I know.”

It means a lot of things.

“If yer not careful, she’s gonna get killed. Ya just got out of prison, yer a Kinsella… The stakes are higher now. The danger is greater. We can’t deny that.”

Michael groans. “Since when do any of ya have the right to dictate my relationships? Especially Amanda. She’s the last person on this godforsaken planet that should get a right to have a say,” he says. “Just because ya want me back in the saddle–“

“Ya wanna know since when, huh?” Jimmy snaps, breaking his assumption in two. “Since ya’ve got your wife fuckin’ killed, that’s when!”

The beer bottle soars across the room, barely missing his face before it shatters against the wood on the wall behind him. Michael steps forward, his finger pointed at his brother, grabbing him by the collar and pushing him into the nearest object. He towers over him, even though he is smaller, and all of the humanity in his eyes has vanished. 

Whatever Jimmy’s problem is, he’s moving on very thin ice, and the ice is about to break through.

“Watch yer fuckin’ mouth!” he growls. “Ya can tear me down and attack my life, but Allison and Anna? Ya keep your fuckin’ mouth shut about them! And her–“ Your face flashes in front of his eyes like a Polaroid picture. “Don’t fuckin’ dare compare her to them or what happened before I went to prison because I know.” His voice is barely above a whisper; he sounds almost like a snake. Michael doesn’t have to yell to cause goosebumps.  

“I know, Jimmy,” he says, “I know she’s in danger ‘cause of me and this family, but I promised Anna I would go straight now because she’s my daughter and I deserve to get her back, I deserve to make amends, and I won’t let ya or Amanda tell me what to do as if I have anythin’ to do with the shit yer doing anymore. You tryin’ to sabotage my relationships won’t bring me back.”

Jimmy grabs his wrists. “That’s not how it works,” he says. There is a flash of concern in his eyes.

Michael sneers. “How would you know? You have yer wife and yer sons. Ya have everything. You don’t know what it’s like to lose a fuckin’ child!”

“Yer right, I don’t, but you think it’s gonna help Anna if ya start a relationship that might end anyway? Ya want more grief? More heartbreak? Does she even know?”

Michael tightens his grip around his collar. “Oh, fuck off, Jimmy! Ya don’t know me, and yer certainly not the boss of me, ya fuck!” 

His spit pearls off his cheeks, and his eyes turn feral. “Are ya so used to gettin’ and corruptin’ what you want that ya can’t see the bigger picture?” 

He lets go of him, distancing himself almost immediately. His fist twitches. Jimmy’s face looks so inviting, he has a hard time controlling himself. He tries not to let his words touch him, but he’s got him riled up and he can’t come back down. 

“Maybe I should let ya make your own mistakes,” he says. “Let you run into the knife ‘cause ya seem to have a real knack for fuckin’ up everything. When yer little girlfriend ends up dead, maybe then you’ll learn that sometimes, family is right. Or ya just kill her yerself because ya just seem so fuckin’ good at it–“

The loud crack of bone breaking fills the house. Jimmy howls when Michael’s fist connects with his nose, and the bridge breaks clean through. It tilts at the most painful angle without popping back in place. Blood spills from his nostrils. He falls to his knees on the floor, clutching his broken nose.

Michael towers over his brother, his irises fully black now. His chest heaves, his knuckles are covered in blood, and his wrist is already starting to swell. 

“Get the fuck out of my house, Jimmy!” he says. He doesn’t even leave him time to recollect himself. 

Jimmy rises to his feet, his nose still dripping. He stares at him with a mixture of pride and shock; without another word, he launches at him and strikes his fist across his face. 

It’s Michael’s turn to fall onto his knees with a surprised groan. He didn’t get his full nose, but something did break upon impact. 

Jimmy huffs, staring at his brother who is now bleeding just as excessively as him. “Gladly,” he says, satisfied with his work, and then he leaves, but not without emptying his beer on his way out and leaving the bottle right at the entrance for him to clean it up. 

The door falls shut behind him. 

He stays on the floor for a while, feeling the floorboards under his fingers. The worst part isn’t that Jimmy said these outrageous things. Michael would be angrier if he had lied to him, but that wasn’t the case. He said the truth and nothing but the truth. And it eats him alive that his brother is right – the worst part is that he is no good for you and the wisest choice is to let you go before you’re too far in to crawl back out.

And that kills him inside. 

He finds himself on his bedroom floor again that night, nursing a bottle of whiskey. He leans back against the bed. The alcohol is slowly hulling his brain into a fog, numbing the pain, numbing his emotions, but most of all, it makes the thought of you go away and turn into bitterness instead. You, Allison, Anna… he wants to forget it all.

His finger ghosts over the ‘send’ button on his phone, but instead of sending the text, he switches to the icon in the top corner and presses ‘call’. 

The line clicks. “Hello?” Amanda’s voice sounds from the other end.

“Are ya proud of yerself?” he asks. He’s too exhausted to be angry, but there is a force behind his words that goes beyond being tired.

There is silence before she answers. “Michael,” she says his name oh so softly.

He doesn’t want to hear it. He wants to yell at her and tell her why she told Jimmy and ask her why this is such a big deal and that he hates her and he hates this family and… he hates himself.

“Jimmy just wanted ta talk.”

He scoffs. “I just wanted ta tell ya that ya should be proud of yerself. Ya can tell Frank I didn’t change my mind, but good try and ya should be proud of yerself, truly.”

She ruined something very good for him, and she made him loathe his reflection again. 

“We care about ya,” she says. It sounds almost like she’s arguing. “And we want ya to think things through, especially with your history and this family, and you don’t want another person ta suffer because of a risk we couldn’t control, do ya? That’s why I told Jimmy. I just wanted ta help. This isn’t personal. And this isn’t about Frank.”

But oh, it is personal. She lies shamelessly through her teeth and right now, Michael hates her guts as much as he loathes himself, which is a lot. He hates his family. He hates everyone. And most of all, he hates the universe. 

“Yeah,” he sniffles, “I did think ‘em through. And it is personal.”

“Michael–“

“Thanks for nothin’, Amanda. Good night.”

He hangs up, leaving behind only silence and the taste of whiskey on his tongue as he continues to stare at the ceiling until inevitably, he passes out right there, still leaning against the bed and praying that his life will soon turn out to have been nothing but a bad, bad dream.

The next day, the café buzzes with activity as customers come and go, their conversations blending into a steady hum. You're back behind the counter, but you're not paying attention. The radio plays a Taylor Swift song and you hum along, scribbling something on one of the coffee cups, waiting for the next wave of people in need of coffee to come through the door. 

You're not working with Sarah today, so at least you're not getting smart comments about your floaty state, but his lips... you wish you could should his name at the top of your lungs. You can't get him out of your head – his hands on your body, touching and grabbing everywhere, his lips moving against yours as he breathes all of you in, even your bare soul; it's a picture you wish you could replay like a 3D movie, but the memories come and go in a blur. You need him. You crave him. He's messing with your head and while it's annoying, you can't get enough. You're addicted to Michael Kinsella. 

What started as wanting to comfort a man who came to the café in need of an escape has evolved into a physical yearning for his touch, not just getting to know his soul in a way you still haven't been able to, but you've seen more of him the day before and you're proud of yourself for picking apart the walls he's built around his heart piece by piece. You're so happy, you could burst. 

Every ring of the bell above the door catches your attention, but then your heart drops when you see it's not him. The longing for Michael begins to feel obsessive, yet you can't deny the thrill it brings you. And then, as if the universe has answered your unspoken plea, he walks in, and your heart stops, only to beat twice as fast.

"Michael," you greet him with a bright smile. "How are you?"

Something is off about him today. You notice there is a cut on his nose and the bridge is starting to turn blue. His hand is bandaged again. He doesn’t smile, he doesn’t even try to fake it. His eyes are vacant, almost, like he’s empty inside, the pain having moved deep enough to burn his soul to ashes. The numbness he displays while also keeping a cage locked tightly around himself makes your own heart ache for him.

What happened to him? When you parted ways, you both seemed more than alright. It was awkward, but it was great. Or did you misinterpret something?

“I’ll take a double espresso,” he answers the question you haven’t even voiced yet. “Just a double espresso. Nothin’ else.”

“Are you sure?” you try to sound as cheery as before, but the sight of him has your light dimmed a little. “We have other options,” you say. 

He’s not acting on your recommendations today. His stare is blank and his voice sounds harsh when he repeats his order, though this time making it sound like a demand that makes you flinch. Men scare you, that is no secret, but Michael had never scared you before. Up until this point, you never thought it possible, he never struck you as the scary type, but the tone of his voice sends shivers down your spine, uncomfortable ones, and he leaves no space for you to argue or be playful with it. 

You bonded over coffee before. His demeanor has you second-guessing everything. Did you misinterpret his intentions? Was it all a facade? Why did he come here if he intended to hurt you? 

You finish the double espresso with millions of thoughts racing in your mind. Right before handing it to him, you take a deep breath and decide to write your number on the cup. You should have done it long before. He might not want to talk now, but maybe later, or maybe he won’t ever call. You’re not sure why the hope is still there, but it burns brighter than your fear or your anger. 

"Double espresso," you call out, hoping he'll stay a moment longer.

Michael approaches the counter, his eyes avoiding yours as he snatches the cup from your hands. Your fingers brush. You keep him there. 

“Hey,” your voice softens, “Are you okay?”

He avoids your eyes. 

“You seem… different today.” That’s an understatement. 

“Yeah,” he says and tears the cup from your hands. “Bad day. I have to go. Thanks.”

That’s what he wants to leave you with? The interaction tastes bitter. He doesn't even spare a glance at the cup. He doesn’t acknowledge you. He doesn’t listen. It's as if he's determined to shut you out, to sever whatever connection you had.

You shoot your colleague an apologetic glance before tossing your apron on the counter and sprinting after Michael. 

“Michael!”

At the call of his name, he stops in his tracks. “What do you want?” he asks. He sounds defensive, guarded even. There seems to be an entire army fighting inside of him, against him, and against you. 

You’re not strong enough to withhold the storm. Yet, you still take a step forward to somehow bridge the gap that is not just literally but figuratively between you. The space hasn’t been there before, it’s new and you hate it. He won’t even reach your lifeline because he’s swimming out far enough that he can’t reach it. It’s almost as if he’s doing this on purpose, destroying himself, slowly killing himself, and you’re helpless. 

“I want to be there for you,” you say, gentle yet determined. “I’m not sure where we went wrong, where I went wrong, but you’re not alone in this. Just tell me what happened and I can try to fix it. I can help you. Either way, I can tell you’re hurting and I don’t want you to push me away. Not after we’ve come so close.”

You’re grasping for straws now.

Michael turns to look over your shoulder. You see a flicker of regret flash up in his eyes, but it’s gone as fast as it appeared. Left behind is only an empty shell. 

“Please,” you beg. 

He studies your face for a moment. He hesitates, he's uncertain, but he's gone. You can tell he's gone; he disappears right before your eyes, slipping through your fingers and this time it feels final. It shouldn't hurt, you don't know him, but it burns like acid on your skin and get through to your heart. It shouldn't hurt, you're not like that, but you can't deny that it does. 

As if a wall slams shut, he shakes his head and takes a step back. "Ya don't get it," he says.

“What don’t I get?”

“Everything! It doesn’t fuckin’ matter anyway.”

“Come on, talk to me. Maybe I can help. I–”

“Maybe ya should stop tryin’ so hard all the fuckin’ time.”

You didn’t expect that. 

“People might like you more if ya weren’t tryin’ so hard,” he says, taking your heart like a piece of paper and ripping it straight through. “People pleasers are exhausting, and yer no better than tha’.”

Your throat tightens as the words start to sink in. “What?” you whisper. 

“Ya heard me.” He turns back around, his eyes leaving yours. “It’s best if we end this here. Fer both of us.”

There wasn’t much between you anyway and yet he wants to take his fist and shatter it like glass hard enough so that you won’t be able to pick it up. That sounds cruel, and it feels even worse. His words remind you of your childhood and the time after that, all the people who laughed at you, who told you that you were too complicated, that you needed to change to fit in, that you would never be good enough, and they remind you of your parents and the friends you’ve lost simply because no matter what you did, it was never good enough. They used your kind heart and destroyed you in the process. Not once did you think Michael would do the same. 

“I didn’t realize, I– I’m sorry,” your voice cracks. 

He huffs, still not looking at you. “Like I said, yer exhausting,” he says as if he hasn’t done enough. “I’ll stay away from ya from now on. It’s better tha’ way. Try not to please everyone so hard or you’ll end up miserable.” He says your name, but you feel like your ears are underwater and all of this is just a stupid dream. A nightmare, even. 

Michael says goodbye and then he’s gone. You’re not sure where to, but he leaves, and you don’t make an effort this time – you don’t follow him. He managed to break your heart with what little you shared about yourself and that is not something you can easily swallow. 

Your colleague stares at you when you storm back into the café, but you ignore her. You leave your apron where it is, holding your breath as you hold the tears in the corners of your eyes, your feet carrying you to the back room. And you cry.

You break down and cry because Michael used the power of words shamelessly to hurt you in a way that runs deeper than your skin. You break down, and you curse Michael Kinsella all the way to hell. 

Tagging: @bellaxgiornata @loveroftoomanyfandoms @acharliecoxedfan @lina-mar @itwasthereaminuteago @mattkinsella

[bad-at-names-and-faces]

20 Questions for fic writers

I've been tagged by @firawren @glassslippers-n-cowboyboots and @bethanydelleman

1. How many works do you have on AO3? 149, apparently. Bear in mind, most of these are very, very short, including 3 rounds now of the February Ficlet Challenge.

2. What's your total AO3 word count? 297,078

3. What fandoms do you write for?

Frozen is the big one, also Tangled, various Jane Austen fandoms (mostly Pride and Prejudice and Northanger Abbey), as well as Downton Abbey.

4. What are your top 5 fics by kudos?

The Means of Uniting Them (Pride and Prejudice)

Have You Heard? (Pride and Prejudice, something of a "prequel" to The Means of Uniting Them)

The Young Diplomat (Frozen/Tangled crossover)

Mrs. Darcy and Her Sister (Pride and Prejudice, Darcy/Jane, Bingley/Elizabeth)

What If... (Frozen canon divergence drabble collection)

5. Do you respond to comments? I do, even if it literally takes a year or two.

6. What is the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending? I suppose "Have You Heard?", at least of my works that have more readers than I have fingers and toes... (a few of my OC drabble collections are pretty angsty, but almost nobody reads those...)

7. What’s the fic you wrote with the happiest ending? Happiest? I don't know. I haven't published most of my darker stuff, so nothing ends too badly. I suppose some of them might be a bit bittersweet.

8. Do you get hate on fics? I got some on the Darcy/Jane ficlet.

9. Do you write smut? If so, what kind? I've written a bit, and "vanilla" would probably describe it.

10. Do you write crossovers? What’s the craziest one you’ve written? I write a lot of crossovers. As far as the craziest, I suppose the Elsa/Darcy one...?

11. Have you ever had a fic stolen? Not that I know of.

12. Have you ever had a fic translated? One to German and one to Russian.

13. Have you ever co-written a fic before? I've never tried.

14. What’s your all time favourite ship? Anna/Kristoff

15. What’s a WIP you want to finish but doubt you ever will? Probably one of them that I haven't started posting outside of some drabbles and ficlets. Maybe I'll get around to some of them eventually. (My WWII Downton Abbey post-canon AU is probably the one I'd love to actually write a proper longfic for.)

16. What are your writing strengths? I've gotten compliments on my dialogue.

17. What are your writing weaknesses? Feelings? That's where I feel weakest, anyway.

18. Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language in fic? A lot of my dialogue can be assumed to be translated from another language, but aside from a few words I never write dialogue in another language.

19. First fandom you wrote for? Frozen

20. Favourite fic you’ve written? The Young Diplomat, being the beginning of all the plot and characters that spend the most time living rent-free in my head, probably deserves this distinction.

No-obligation tagging @fericita-s @snowfall-in-summer @pterawaters @basingstokemercury @the-red-butterfly

[dnfao3tags]

DNF Reclist - Theme: LGBTQ+

pride month may be over but lgbtq+ pride stands strong all year long! marking the end of june, here are some queer related fics for you to read and hopefully relate to.

Pride Parade

— Radio Wires (Soldered To My Heart) by ivegivenuponyou (expl. | comp. | 7k)

Dream and George celebrate their first pride together.

— we sing it proudly by jack_not_found (teen | comp. | 3k)

the first time george goes to pride, and the first time george feels like he belongs at pride.

Sexuality

— revelation by ffnppnOF (ffonippop) (expl. | comp. | 28k)

There’s nothing wrong with George. Everyone tells him so. But nobody has ever known anything because if nothing was wrong with George, he wouldn’t be suffering the way he is, rosary around his neck more like a collar or a rope, tying him to a lady he can’t love and a man he’s not allowed to love. George’s God is a lover of purity, and he forgives him. George’s lover is purity incarnate, and she loves him sweeter than he deserves. George’s guilty pleasure has eyes the color of ivy and damnation and apples that fall from trees too early. Come Sunday, George will be gone, gone, gone.

— zero by saintaches (expl. | comp. | 63k)

Dream isn't sure when George became so fucking pretty, but he's certain he can't fall in love with him. They're both omegas, after all.

note: this still counts in my books

— Fantasize About by genovashroom (expl. | wip | 5k+)

At twenty-six, George is terminally alone and having a long overdue sexuality crisis. The soulmark on his wrist says what it has since he was twenty: Clay. Unmistakably a man’s name. He’s tired of burying his head in the sand, and hoping things will sort themselves out without him. He’s tired of pretending if he wishes it away hard enough, the name will change to a woman’s. And so, in order to come to terms with his prophesied homosexuality and self-destructive loneliness, he pulls a Hail Mary and calls a phone sex line, where he meets Dream.

— r/WhoTheFuckIsDNF by furculaed (teen | comp. | 30k)

I (22 M) fell in love with my best friend (25 M) and I don’t know what to do. I love him, please help.

note: some more reddit fics that fit here, here and here

— drink it down by 21questions (mat. | comp. | 3k)

George's a storm. Dream's a hurricane. Somehow, they mix.

— i wanna stay here forever by cqfnce (teen | comp. | 3k)

Dream and George talk about love, sexuality, and metaphors on the couch in the house built for them

— Pink Carnations by ivegivenuponyou (mat. | comp. | 7k)

Dream asks him about his love life sometimes, pesters him with questions about if he wants a girlfriend, if he’s ever had a girlfriend, if he even likes girls at all, and Sapnap laughs along, teasing him in the same way. It’s always the same answers. No, yes, mind your business. Not always in that order. He’d rather spend his time on the phone with his friends, anyway. He’d take Dream’s laughter in his ears over the company of anyone else.

— What You Want by Bagelrites (SleepyAmie) (mat. | comp. | 2k)

A failed attempt at sex leaves Dream a crying mess, and George is there to comfort him, despite all his fears to the contrary.

Genderqueer 

— boys and girls and punctuation by ffnppnOF (ffonippop) (mat. | comp. | 7k)

George’s identity is fortified heavily by his self expression, and the ways in which he expresses himself is constantly changing, constantly shifting, constantly inconsistent. But he’s always found security in knowing that, no matter how inconsistent he may be, no matter how far away he strays from masculinity, he’s still a boy. And there is safety in that. It’s the one consistent thing he has. But recently, everything he’s ever known about being a boy has been fracturing. The next most constant thing he’s ever known is Dream.

— Pretty Boys by Anonymous (mat. | comp. | 2k)

george has a crisis

note: also sexuality related!

— my girl’s made of peaches and soft grass and the moonlight by timelimez (expl. | comp. | 9k)

“George is like, Dream’s girlfriend or something,” Sapnap said, the rest of the Discord call erupting in laughter. “You’re so stupid.” George huffed, leaning back in his chair with a pout that no one could see. He wasn’t streaming, but one of their friends was, meaning that the line would inevitably be clipped to hell and back.  The weirdest part, though, was that hearing the word girlfriend be used to refer to himself made George feel… something. He didn’t quite know yet. But it wasn’t a bad feeling, that was for sure. “Aw, George, it’s okay. You can be my little girlfriend if you want.” Dream teased, before erupting in a wheezing laugh that was soon backed by the laughter of the rest of their friends. “Whatever.” George laughed it off. It was definitely not whatever.

Part 2 of it’s all for you (it’s always for you)

its pretty late and this was kind of a last minute decision thing so that's all for now! check out my sexuality themes or genderqueer tag for more :] send me in more recs if you'd like. happy late pride.

will post june's roundup a little later this week.

[a-force-dyad-in-space]

A Fanfic Update

Hey guys, I thought I should give you an update about what's going on Ongoing-WIPs-wise just in case you've had some worries.

The short of it is that the writing juices haven't flowed well for a while now and I'm trying to get them back but it is a struggle. I've worked a bit on this fic or other but haven't made significant progress in a few months. I absolutely hope that will change soon but I unfortunately can't force it. It doesn't help that I'm going through some stuff IRL right now that I have to take care of (I am unfortunately an adult who has to do adulting and pay bills and shit 🥲). I try not to be too stressed out about it, but the more time passes the more the anxiety sets in. Wish me luck. 💪🏻

Anyway, here's a fic-by-fic overview, split up by fandom.

THE UNTAMED

The Angsty SongXue Fic — I'll be honest, I've written a little bit since I last updated you guys but I still haven't finished the buffer chapter (at this point I'm thinking about posting chapter 51 even though 52 isn't done yet), so nothing really new here. I really want to get back into a writing flow but so far it hasn't really worked. I am still working on it, though, so don't worry, I'm not going to drop it.

The It Follows AU — I'm ashamed to say I didn't even realize I posted that fic almost two years ago and I still haven't written the second half. I'm so sorry it's taking so long! I definitely still want to finish it! I might rewatch the It Follows movie before I do that, though.

The Observer Series — Oh yeah, remember that smutfic series I started a few years ago of which I've only posted part 1 so far? Yeah, I still need to work on that. I did write chapter 1 of part 2 a while ago, so it's not like it's forgotten, I just need to get my ass up and write the rest of part 2 before I can post it. 🙈

The Color Rush AU — Okay, technically I haven't posted that one yet but I did share a snippet along with a gifset a few years ago, so you guys know it exists. I haven't worked on it in a long time, though, and I don't know yet when I will find the spoons to continue writing it but I'm still intrigued by the premise and want to give it a go. Thank you for your patience!

The Somewhat Sweet, Somewhat Angsty XuanXian Fic — Again, haven't posted that one yet but I've been posting about it, so you guys know it exists. Nothing new on this front. I did want to rewrite the whole thing because I wasn't really happy with the way I wrote it thus far, so I'll probably go back to it at some point and do that, I just don't know when yet.

WORD OF HONOR

The Xie'er Deserves the World Fic — Listen, guys, I love this fic so much, I just haven't worked on it in a while. I'll probably re-read what I've written so far and go on from there, I've just been struggling with the latest chapter ever since I started writing it years ago. It's not dropped, though, I will get back to it! Pinky swear!

SAILOR MOON

I've mentioned here and there that I'm working on part 1 of an epic that is based on a doujinshi I started when I was 13 or 14. Unlike my other WIPs, this one really is 100% self-indulgent to the point where I don't even care whether people will read/like it once I post it when it's completely done. I'll just put it out there to make my teenage self happy because this story has been simmering in my head for over 20 years, and so that my IRL friends can read it if they want to. So, this one will be a long way out, but it exists. I'm only really mentioning it because I've mentioned it a couple of times before and because it's the fic that's been on my mind the most lately.

STAR WARS

You didn't think I forgot about TROBS, did you????? I did work on several beginnings of a draft during NaNoWriMo last year and I'm getting more and more of a clear picture of how I want it to go. For those unfamiliar, TROBS (or The Rise of Ben Skywalker, though I already changed the name of the fic again) is my attempt at an Episode IX fix-it fic that essentially replaces TROS. This one has been simmering in my head since early 2020 and I really want to get it out of there and onto the page for catharsis. I've even held off on reading any other TROS fix-its because of it, even though I've heard there are some really amazing ones out there (and I can't wait to read them once I've gotten my own out of my damn head). I really need to finally finish that beast. Wish me luck. 🥲

UNPOSTED WIPs

I still have so many notes for other fics (mostly for The Untamed) that I want to write at some point. Will I be able to get them all on the page? I honestly don't know, but I'll see where they take.

Anyway, that's all!

[dangerously-human]

for the fic year in review: 9, 10, 19, 20, 29 :)

Ah, thanks for inviting me to ramble. <3

What fic meant the most to you to write? I gave another answer for this earlier, but the other - as I've said repeatedly - is Not Even a Doorknob Between You, as my love letter to the themes of a series that reshaped me as a person. It's very hard to explain everything Lockwood & Co means to me, which is why that fic exists - as my best attempt to scratch the surface.

What fic made you feel the happiest to work on? Of what's been posted so far, easily Woke Up in a Safe House Singing. Spent most of the writing of it with a grin on my face. If we include WIPs in the list, the apple pie fic might give that one a run for its money, but that's almost certainly not getting posted before the end of the year.

Share your favorite opening line Ah, I already used the cat one for an earlier answer, now I have to think of another! See, I usually put more thought into how I conclude a story than its beginning, I should probably reconsider that trend a bit. Anyway, I'm quite fond of the opener to Smoke & Shield: It’s his first birthday party, and Anthony is clearly too impatient for cake to be bothered with this business of candles.

Share your favorite ending line Also one I answered, but happy for an excuse to share multiple! Another favorite closer is from I'll Take the Grave: Leaning on each other, he and Lucy descended into the dawn as one.

If this were an awards show, who would you thank? Sneaky, sneaky... You would obviously be top of the list, for all the commingling brainrot at inhuman speeds, seeding the Catholic Lockwood headcanon that is now firmly rooted, and for all the discussions of the overlap of faith and fandom. All the sickos get a shoutout, of course: the encouragement from you, @geekloverlz, @polithicc, and @itripandfallalot has been a gamechanger that adds so much fun to the process, and I love all our "yes and"-ing that spirals one vague notion into so much more. And my beloved @loubuttons has swapped insightful meta and buzzing about themes and characters from the beginning. Of course, this league of strange ladies on my dash deserve a nod as well for being so vocally enthusiastic about this thing - and especially all the literary analysis through a Christian lens - that I couldn't help being intrigued enough to get into Lockwood & Co in the first place. And for all the writers who've poured their time and hearts into the amazing stuff I've read and watched this year that got the gears turning - I know I've mostly talked about Lockwood & Co, because that's where I'm most deeply embedded, but there are a lot of books, shows, movies, fanfiction, etc that's influenced me over this year and contributed to making me the writer I currently am!

[vacantgodling]

sigh. taps the sign.

you should not shame authors for marketing the representation in their wips in an effort to get their book in front of those who would want and need it most AND marketing your product solely based on checkboxes and tropes your work hits can be frustrating because it prioritizes identity over the actual contents of the story are statements that do coexist

for example (using one of my own wips, jenna the reaper): my book features a teen autistic black ace spec lesbian and her qpr partner/best friend who is an afro brazilian aroace dude. you should read it! buy it right now! (well you can’t cuz i’m not working on it right now but you get the idea).

this information is GREAT to know for people who are black or afrolatino in some way and want to see rep of themselves, GREAT for someone who wants to see ace/aro spec characters take a center stage and see more attention given to a qpr instead of a traditional romance. as far as you can tell this has everything you’re looking for in a story!

but let’s say, you don’t like reading horror. it makes you uncomfortable or squicks you out for some reason. but you pick up jenna the reaper anyway just based on the summation of what Types of characters are in the book.

well, SURPRISE MOTHERFUCKER this book is horror!! and now you’ve gone and bought a book you can’t fundamentally enjoy because by me not telling you what the story is ACTUALLY about ON TOP OF what types of characters it represents, it’s left you in the dark and you’re unable to curate your own space!!

i am all for more representation in books. i check of several boxes myself and i want to see more of me in media. every marginalized person does. HOWEVER. THAT. DOES. NOT. MEAN. I. WILL. LIKE. EVERYTHING. THAT. IS. PRESENTED. TO. ME. i don’t care if a book features trans masc mcs. what is it about? i hate coming out stories regardless of what the context is, therefore even if you say oh this mc is a transmasc vampire for instance, if the story is about him coming out i don’t want to read it. it’s my right to be able to curate what media i want to read regardless of how much or how little the representation of myself is. and it’s your right too!! it’s everyone’s right!! the only way that we will get past this issue is to have more queer and marginalized characters in stories generally speaking and to make their identities the cherry on top. if you were to tell me for instance, that you were writing a magical cowboy story where the mcs are forced to face the emotional demons of their past— i’d be into it!! but THEN you add on top of that that the mc is trans masc and the story has nothing to do with him coming out, IM READING IT ALREADY!

marginalized identities should add to a story not be the sole fucking point of the story. that’s why we have this constant media barrage of boring copy paste coming out story after coming out story after oh society treated me bad for my identity or blah blah blah like y’all. Y’ALL. we deserve more media that is fantastical and fun and appeals to anyone’s taste without the gd identity politics being the only thing to give it weight. make complex stories with queer people IN them for fucks sake i’m so TIRED.

[perverse-idyll]

10 Lines Tagging Game

Rules: share the first lines of ten of your most recent fanfics and tag ten people. If you have written less than ten, don’t be shy and share anyway!

Thanks to everyone who’s shaken me out of my stupor by tagging me: @yletylyf, @danpuff-ao3, @likelightinglass, and @ripeteeth! I'm going with first paragraphs, and a little more where pertinent. I had to scroll all the way back to 2014 to manage the full ten, partly because I skipped all the fic snippets.

I haven’t had time to comment on others’ posts, but I’ll get to that soon. Please, anyone who hasn’t shared, post your lines! I’ve read every excerpt I’ve seen so far, and they’re all wonderful, even the snippets from canons I don’t know. I won’t tag because I’m at work and rushing this out, but others should try! It’s fun to get reacquainted with your own first lines.

Candles Lit Against the Dark - (HP, Minerva/Wilhelmina and a big helping of Snape, 13.6K),

At around four in the afternoon, with three chapters to go in the espionage novel she was reading – since popular thrillers provided not only diversion but an eye-opening refresher course on Muggle slang and cultural attitudes – Minerva glanced up from the page to find Wil leaning in the doorway, watching her.

The Afterlight - (HP, Snape/Harry, WIP, 6 chapters, 45.6K so far)

It was possible none of this would have happened if not for Hermione. Or if not for Ron being an insecure prat who had to give himself a confidence boost in the worst possible way. Kingsley Shacklebolt also deserved some of the blame for putting Harry in an impossible position.

But mostly, Harry was aware, the fault lay with Snape. With Snape and his penchant for nearly dying in Harry's arms.

Year of the Thestral - (HP, Minerva/Severus, WIP, 3 chapters, 16.8K so far. Warning: the opening paragraph is ‘romantic,’ the rest of the fic is not)

The headmaster of Hogwarts, as yet unaware that he had entered upon his last day on earth, raised his thin hand to stroke the unsmiling face of the woman who had afforded him so much unlooked-for happiness. How ironic that, while children suffered and Voldemort prepared to strike, with his loyalties so deeply buried that only a discerning heart and penetrating mind could perceive their true shape, Severus Snape should lay to rest the ghost of his old love and touch the flesh-and-blood promise of the new.

The Threefold Death, or: the Lost World (long version) - (HP, Snape/Harry, Snape/Albus Severus, WIP, 3 chapters, 22.4K so far)

If Harry hadn't lost the ability to fly.

If his son had been sorted into any house but Slytherin.

If Harry hadn't waited until nearly forty to get lost in the Forest.

If Al hadn't been a ruthless romantic –

Or if Snape hadn't died. If Severus Snape hadn't died.

Jeeves and the Secret Society - (HP and the Jeeves stories (P. G. Wodehouse), Jeeves/Wooster, suggestion of Snape/Dumbledore, 12K, modeled on Wodehouse’s style and thus the fic most unlike my usual style)

Into the lives of all upstanding citizens an occasion must fall where we fumble the biscuit and end up owing an undeniable debt to mankind. Or in this instance, a kind man or two rather than the whole shebang.

No doubt it strikes you, on the head as it were, that I could say this of Jeeves on the regular. But the truth of the matter is, if I referred the matter to a court of law, that court would be forced to conclude that Jeeves is not like other men and therefore not a representative specimen.

The Sorrows of Your Changing Face - (Doctor Who, Twelve/Clara, 1.5K, not a fandom most of my friends read but this is probably my only chance to write a love letter to this ship, and it preserves the small hot coal of my feelings for them)

"We've really got to stop saying goodbye like this. How many times has it been now?"

She aims for a tone of flippant affection, the nostalgic companionship of Coal Hill and three-week-old coffee runs, heartsore mornings on an alien beach watching Gallifreyan symbols being scratched in the sand, a blanket over her bare shoulders and the transcendently erotic flapper affair that glittered as she curled around his confession, being counselled to choose and so choosing to change her mind. You can't be heartless and do what he does.

Soft Touch - (HP, Snape/Harry, 15.2K, character study with porn)

After the attendant led him down the hall and left him alone in the cosy wood-panelled room, warm enough that he could lie around in his smalls and not suffer goosepimples, Harry performed several quick spells to blind spying eyes, disable extendable ears, cover holes in the walls, and silence illegal recording charms. Not that he was paranoid, mind, but he wasn't an idiot, either.

Warm - (HP, Snape/Harry, 11.3K, porn with character study)

"Well, that was more fun than a barrel of Boggarts."

Harry bumped the front door shut with the snow-caked heel of his dress shoe and peeled off his gloves, watching Severus prop his cane in a corner and continue stiffly down the hall. He'd rather hoped that once they got home Severus would grab his arse and hump him up against a wall. But he could tell from how he walked that the winter freeze between the Ministry ball and their own doorstep had triggered muscle spasms, the ghost of Nagini's venom still flaring and fading in Severus' body even several years later.

The Blood of Stars - (HP, Snape/Harry, WIP on hiatus, 3 chapters, 44.2K, the WIP of my heart, and once I complete the current trio of fics, I want to drag this one back into the light)

At first, it's dark and he's flying.

More graceful in the air without a broom, he shivers at the unexpected freedom. The pulse of escape makes it worth the pain.

For there is pain. Too soon, the downward spiral begins. He drops lower, darker, through an agony of sky. Freefall. The very air hurts.

Impossible Without It - (HP, Snape/Harry, WIP on hiatus, 3 chapters, 16.5K, I’m also fond of this one, and I suspect readers will like it more than Blood of Stars. So I’ll probably work on both at once. Someday.)

Alone in the headmistress' office, Harry sat balancing a tea cup in his lap and toying with his wand, wondering how much longer he could stand to wait before Minerva returned.

[midnights-call]

Insomnia/Sunlight (Drabble)

CW// brief mention of past self harm; panic attacks; night terrors

So many nights have been spent awake in my office. If you asked me to count them, I would come back to you without a number. I’m uncertain if my insomnia predated the work, or if my work had instilled it in me. Either way, despite the work being done I struggle to make it through the night without waking up, or to find sleep in the first place.

Leonard and Augustus have said that I would occasionally wake up inconsolable, yelling at someone who wasn’t there, ripping into my wrists at bindings that have long since been undone. Poor Augustus; his brute strength made him the only person capable of preventing my nails from further tearing away at the delicate skin. 

I've always had a distaste for sleep. It is a difficult thing to admit fear of one’s own mind, and there is nowhere that the fear manifests more than when it's time for sleep. There is a special sort of vulnerability found while laying in bed, staring up at the ceiling. It's that moment of weakness in the time between awake and sleep I fear the most.

I linger in my office, a cup of tea steaming on my desk. There’s little in the way of true work that needs to be done, but my office has been the place I retreat on such nights where sleep will not come. Before when I was alone, slipping away was simple. Now, I have to remove myself carefully from the entangled arms of my lovers so as to not disturb their sleep. 

“Valdemar.” It never seems to work for Augustus, however. He always knows. 

“Augustus.” His smile is warm. It always has been. Such a wonderful quality to possess. Pure love in a simple curl of the lips. 

“Come to bed,” he said, crossing the room to me. He wraps his arms around me and rests his head on mine. I lean into his touch.

“That won’t help me sleep. I’ll toss and turn and grow far more restless.” He knows. This is a conversation we’ve had a hundred times before. 

“Come anyway,” he always begs of me, “The bed is so much emptier without you there. So much colder. Come to bed.” 

“I know. It’s alright. I’ll be alright.” I know what he’s saying, the meaning hidden between the words. He sways slightly, bringing me along in a pseudo-dance. Something new. I swayed with him.

“I know. But I worry anyway. I always will.” The next part of the script, familiar and comfortable. And then, something new again. “I wish I could ease your pain. I wish I could help you sleep.” I don’t know what to tell him. I’m not sure what he expects. 

“Me too.” A rare moment of vulnerability. He stops his swaying and loosens his grip on me. I was reluctant to let him until he turned me to face him. His hand cups my cheek and I kiss his palm. 

“One day. I promise, one day you will sleep. One day, it won’t hurt so badly anymore.” I press into his touch, desperate to hide the way my expression twisted to one of anguish. His assurances have always felt more poignant than anything else anyone has said to me before because he truly believes them with all of his heart. His love is endless. Augustus is a man who will never stop hoping, who will never give up on the idea of better. 

“Thank you,” I manage to whisper. 

He kisses my forehead. “Always. I love you Valdemar.” 

“I love you too.” When I open my eyes, that smile of his is back on his face. I firmly believe it is one of the most beautiful things to grace this wretched earth. I can think of very few people deserving of such a smile, and he is one of them. Behind him, I can see the first dregs of sunrise peak up over the horizon. He is illuminated in a halo of golden light, but the sun could never hope to shine as bright as him.

Read more about this wip here x

[izabellwit]

🤡😈🎢✨🎶🍦💖🎯👀✅💔

im sorry im sending so many of these feel free to ignore some if you already got em <3

these answers got kinda long so dhjfgj under the readmore it goes!!

🤡What's a line, scene, or exchange you've written that made you laugh?

Hunter manages to shove all the junk into one corner and make the start of a fairly presentable bed in the other corner by the time the human re-arrives in the Boiling Isles and throws open his door hard enough to smack it against the wall.

“You took my advice!” shouts the human, at the top of her lungs.

“Hiiiiii,” says Hunter, hands over his ears. The human takes a deep breath. Hunter closes the door in her face. “Byeeee.”

(From this fic!!)

There's a lot of lines I've written over the years that make me laugh, but Hunter and Luz as a funny sibling duo…. Every time I reread this fic I giggle at this scene. 

😈 Has there been a point in a story where you did something just to be playfully mean to your readers?

OH ABSOLUTELY there's a few lil ones… I think the one I do most often is namedrop other fandoms/charcters? This happens a lot in my KH fics. Like I'll have a TWEWY reference or character show up for like one second and then never again. Just for funsies and also flavor and also bc I love twewy. 

Sometimes I will also set up scenes specifically to make readers think the worse happened/some guy died or whatever and then it gets revealed its something funny instead. I do that a lot too djhsfgkj

🎢Which of your fics would you call your wildest ride?

LABYRINTHS OF THE HEART. I love all I've written but nothing will ever come close to Labyrinths. It was freshmen year of college and stuff was happening irl and that fic just. Went places. I had so much fun with it.

✨Give you and your writing a compliment. Go on now. You know you deserve it. 😉

AAAA. UM. Oh god. Uhhhh I think I do pretty well with characterization / character voice? Also a lot of my fics I write for me and im always very happy with them… they are exactly what I wanted to read. Does that count??

🎶Do you listen to music while you write? What song have you been playing on loop lately?

YEAH. For certain fics I'll make a whole playlist, even! As for a song on loop.... this one! Inkpot Gods by the Amazing Devil never leaves my brain haha

🍦What's the sweetest fic you've created so far?

Ohhh gosh. Okay so its either Klee meeting the knights of Favonius or Hyakkimaru and Dororo comedy fic hjdfgkjgh

💖What made you start writing?

Oooo I gotta think about this one... hmmm, I think, I've always been a daydreamer and as a kid I used to be annoyed I couldn't "reread" my daydreams like I could my favorite books?? so I decided I just had to write them down eventually I think jhdfkgj

Of course in my mind before i could write down my ideas I had to actually get GOOD at writing (kid brain. My logic is silly, write whatever and whenever u want, u do not need "skill" to get started but ANYWAY) that's also how I started writing fic, for writing practice!! And now years later I'm still at it haha

🎯Have any of your readers accurately guessed major plot points? Care to share which?

Oooooh, a lot of readers in Labyrinths guessed the final plot point, which is that Varian will become the moondrop… most of my fics don't tend to have major twists though, I think…? There's one other fic I've written that has a HUGEE twist, but it hasn't been revealed yet and no one's guessed it yet, so ;)

👀 Tell me about an up and coming wip please!

i have a player and xehanort on the island fic in the works (exploring his possible childhood, character study and legacies kinda thing), and its still veeeeeery rough draft (like. basically still just notes) but I do have this exchange!!!

-do you think they’ll like me?

-who?

-the friends from my dreams. I’m not— do you think they’ll like me anyway?

-of course.

-but how do you know? What if they don’t? What if— what if I go out there and no one—

-he stops. He doesn’t know where he was going with that.

-silence. And then his teacher leans forward, and holds him close. I love you, they say. I love you very much.

-that isn’t what I asked.

-but it's my answer. They press a hand to his head. You’ll understand, one day. 

✅ What's something that appears in your fics over and over and over again, even if you don't mean to?

The above exhange: "i love you / that isn't what I asked / but it is my answer" has actually shown up in a few fics! It's a common theme I guess u could say... its a conversation that means something to me and I think it is changed slightly by the context of every story, so I keep bringing it in jhdfgkj

Other things that crop up a lot....Found family for sure! Uhhh the phrase "rolling the thought like candy on [their] tongue" shows up a lot without my meaning it too djhfgjkh

Oh!!! Honey!! Honey shows up a lot. I think honey is fantastic. Did u know it lasts forever? Also it has great medical properties--Anyway I think you get the idea haha

💔 Is there a fic of yours that broke your heart?

https://archiveofourown.org/works/27801085/chapters/68061658 hehe

Anyway. The woods whispering fic may be completed but I think about the fucked up found family relationships in that fic 24/7. The moment i posted the last chapter i had to stare at a wall for a bit haha

[shortdalee]

Excerpts of some wips for WIP Wednesday under the cut.

Supernatural | turn this up on the radio | #Duck Duck Moose Verse

Adam and Bobby’s first meeting goes about as well as Dean expected. The kid doesn’t say jack squat, refusing to even look at Bobby, which’s fine as far as Dean’s concerned, the kid deserves some slack, and anyway, the silent treatment’s practically golden behavior after all the shit Bobby’s had to deal with from him and Sam as kids. But storming inside and slamming the door shut soon as Bobby tells him where his room’s at without so much as a thanks? Dean scowls at the front door. Bobby, though, only shakes his head and sighs. “Kid needs space,” he says simply like he’s a whole different person and not the gruff bastard who used to yell at Dean and Sam for pulling the same stunt. Well, he probably wouldn’t yell now, not with the situation being what it is, but Dean would’ve thought he’d at least nag. Actually, no, now that he’s actually thinking about it, he should’ve known it’d play out this way. Bobby’s rough around all the edges, but he’s always been good at reading people and good at knowing when he needs to tread careful. He cuffed Dean’s head once and never done it again after he saw Dean’s reaction. To this day, Dean doesn’t know how he reacted to make Bobby stop. It wasn’t even that hard, if he remembers right, and he doesn’t think he reacted any particular way to it. Bobby didn’t act any different afterwards, so much so that if Rufus didn’t spill the beans, he wouldn’t’ve ever noticed that Bobby never raised his hand near him again after that. “That boy’s your brother alright. He’s just like Sam was ’round his age.” Dean nods. Can’t argue with that. If anything, Sam was moodier at that age, and when his rebellious stage had hit, it’d hit hard. Dean’s only consolation is that he’s older than he was when he had to deal with a teenager the first time around and has experience besides. Here’s to hoping he doesn’t fuck it up as badly this time.

[NSFW] DC Comics | if ever I held this word | #Cordelia Move Poster Verse

“If that’s your wish, then I will grant it,” she promises. She brings her other hand up to cup the back of his neck, careful to avoid brushing up against the scar on his throat. “You did well in telling me.” Jason scoffs weakly, but before he can refute her, she tightens her grip on his neck ever so slightly. “You did well,” she repeats, this time more firmly. She waits. “I did well,” he eventually repeats, eyes casted down to her right knee. He’s tenting in his sweatpants. Artemis eyes it, thinking. The little one did so well in dredging up the courage to ask for a scene, didn’t he? He took the initiative and approached her with this new scene idea, to tell her what he wanted. So with the knowledge she’s accumulated of his preferences these past few months, collected like stolen pieces of treasures, lovingly hidden away by owners unable to bring them along, she shifts to press a foot against his crotch. The little one gasps sharply, and his body jolts, immediately wired with tension and just managing to stop himself from bucking into her foot. “And because you did well,” she continues in a softer, if almost haughtier tone, “you can come now, this once, but after this, you won’t be touching yourself again until our scene. Understood?” This time, Jason doesn’t manage to keep still, squirming in place and whining, but his hips don’t move, only receiving what he’s given. “Understood?” she demands again. “Green,” he gasps out. Then, “Please.” He’s always been so easy to rile, and Artemis is besotted enough to view it as endearing. She leans down to whisper in his ear: “You have five minutes.” He takes three.

Bleach x The Old Guard | #Death(less) Verse

Nile gasped awake as she jolted from her bed and promptly choked on air. She was shaking, she realized, her hand against her throat. She fumbled for the lamp on her bedside table, needing some sort of light on, but before she could, her door slammed open. Joe stood in the doorway, his face ashen. “Did you—” Nile nodded, her throat working under her hand. “It—” She took a steadying breath. “Please tell me you saw a monster, too.” Joe pressed his mouth into a thin line, and for a moment, Nile thought that he hadn’t, that—that she’d gone crazy or something, but then he nodded. “I was going to wake Andy and Quỳnh. Could you—” “Yeah, I’ll get Booker.” “We’ll convene in the kitchen.” Always the kitchen. Nicky was probably there, getting tea ready. This seemed like the sort of thing that called for tea. Something soothing. It took Nile a second to get her legs to work, and once she was sure they could hold her weight, she pushed herself up to her feet and headed for Booker’s room. She’d barely knocked before the door swung open. He looked terrible, sweat drenching his shirt, eyes haunted like she hadn’t seen since those days after they escaped Merrick and then again when they’d gone for him while Quỳnh had been torturing him. “Did you…?” Nile nodded. “Me and Joe dreamt it, too. A new one.” A new one who hallucinated vividly. She still remembered the feeling of being impaled, the heavy, heavy feeling of hunger and death in the air. “Joe’s getting Andy and Quỳnh, and Nicky’s—” “In the kitchen making tea,” Booker finished, dragging a hand down his face. He looked a bit more settled, a bit more human, after it.

[wrose-writes]

Greetings and salutations!

You can call me Rose, pleasure to meet you (probably)

My main blog's @theroseempress, I mostly live over there but I decided to make a side-blog for writing stuff in order to make it easier to find.

Also I have a Wordpress: carolinaauthor, if you want to read actual writing pieces that's where I put them.

oh yeah here's my Big WIP Intro Post go check that out!

current list of my main projects* with Quick Descriptions-

Mercy City- Currently my main WIP, probably still my main WIP as you're reading this. Probably. Basic Quick Description- The world is made up of Resonance and we can manipulate that. Everyone is born with an affinity (can manipulate a certain bit of Resonance without needing to know the formula for it) except sometimes they aren't and even more sometimes they're born with Too Much Affinity. Too Much Affinity is bad because you blow up. Kiseki has so far avoided blowing up, and his sister Felice (who has No Affinity) would like to keep it that way. And then the plot happens. whoopsies. Main Cast**- Felice, Kiseki, Caden, and Sophie.

keyWIP- The most recent WIP on this list, it's only a few months old! I pet it lovingly on the head and water it to make it grow. Basic Quick Description- There are keys that can open any door to any other door and also shapeshift! Conor gets harassed by the Scholars' Council into inviting all the people who have keys to come tell the Council that because [SECRET PLOT POINT]. To the surprise of both Conor and some other people, this actually works somehow. Things proceed to escalate rapidly from that point. Main Cast**- Melody, Kit, Conor, Shalom, Hope, Adora, Varian, Jasmin [redacted] (so yeah this cast list is just all the people with keys (excluding Conor)).

WishWIP- I want to turn this one into a comic because. because why. why not I guess I don't know why. Anyway currently I'm rehauling the plot of this one in my head so I'm not actually working on it in any regard (aside from a note doc on my phone but that doesn't count). Basic Quick Description- well that's the part I'm working on so I don't really know what you want me to say here. Fun fact the main character's name is Wish, which is why the beginning of the placeholder title is capitalized (I don't usually do that). Main Cast**- Wish, Song (Stormsong), Lyric.

The Golden City- I'm not actually currently working on this one, but it's probably my oldest project and I am thinking about the plot a lot, so it deserves to be on here. Basic Quick Description- Felix is just going about his normal life and defenitely not being a criminal, except oops, he's been arrested now, oh dear, and how he has to go on a quest to Not Be In Jail >:(. Also people are blackmailing him to essentially cause a civil war. He's doing his best, guys, be nice to him. Main Cast**- Felix, Helen, Shannon, Florian, Tay (Taylor), Nikolai.

If any of these project descriptions catch your interest, please feel free to ask to be on the taglist, which will mean I'll tag you in the once in a blue moon posts I make about my WIPs!

Or just send an ask about something you're curious about, I don't bite and I love talking about my little fictional guys :)

(*what I'm currently working on changes very suddenly and frequently so I can't really tell you that, but this should at least give you an idea of what I'm doing).

(**trust me, there's more, I just listed the main people)

[sweet-little-dude]

hi hi taku my love!! <3 this is the k polycule ask plus i remembered that i’ve been writing a bajiharu fic and i also wanna talk about that hehe. actually i’ll talk abt that first bc the k polycule is all happy and the bajiharu fic.... not so much. and you deserve healing :)

btw btw beware this is long. really long. i copied this message into a wordcounter and it’s 1.5k without the paragraph you’re reading rn... whoopsies. i insaned a little on my ramble. do tell me if i should shorten it bc it’s too long, and take all the time you need to reply afhjfdgjjgdfh

so okay the bajiharu (baji x sanzu just in case that’s not clear for some reason) wip is currently sitting at 15k and. wtf man 15k ?? i wrote that ?? damn. anyways idk how many of my posts abt it you’ve read but it’s p much a giant character/relationship study of the two. basically bajiharu across the years and timelines. canon compliant too, which sadly means that baji is dead most of the time but oh well. it is VERY angsty (i mean baji is dead that’s where the angst is starting already... and i mean sanzu’s canon life) and uh. i keep describing sanzu dying in nearly every future timeline but i’m having a ton of fun :D also it’s gonna be angst with a happy ending when i’m finished and probably around 30k words. a 30k one-shot. i don’t think i can even chapter it.... welp. accidents happen. yk this was supposed to be a maximum of 5k of bajiharu in the og shin timeline (the one in which he lives and mikey has the accident and ends up dying and stuff) and the final timeline but. uhh. uhm. yeah honestly idk what i did but my brain wouldn’t let go of them so here we are lol

i would summarise the plot of the fic but there hardly is one ?? like it’s just random excerpts from their lives. i mean some of them are like 3k long too and def have plots in and of itself but there’s no greater plot to be summarised 😭

tho what i can say is that they actually are somewhat together in the og timeline and they are.. happily together. they are NOT happy in fact they are miserable but they love each other in a tender way yk. but but they WILL be happy in the final timeline. and happily together too!! i just need them to be happy pls okay thanks. in between baji is dead so not many feelings on his part (😭😭) but sanzu is a miserable wet cat. also i have the most tragic death planned for him in the bonten timeline bc i am a ‘‘weird on-off-ish romance-ish but they don't wanna admit it's that even though it very obviously is and there is so much emotional (and sexual) tension and my god how can they live like this’’ bonten rinzu truther. wowie. and wouldn’t it be really fun if rindou accidentally shot sanzu on a mission gone heavily wrong that ends in sanzu dying in his arms? yeah <3

also!! akashi siblings!! i very much plan on writing abt them too in some timelines. specifically i think i’ll have sanzu move in with senju in the manila timeline before mikey kills him off (i am so excited to write this you don’t know istg) and i’ll have him move back in with takeomi in that one timeline in which izana takes over and naoto & takemichi end up dying in the future bc i hc that senju was shot dead in the past and sanzu has nowhere else to go after mikey’s death (bc he’s actually dead in that future...) so yeah. akashi siblings <3

also in case you wonder what my current 15k cover so far (i’m forcing myself to write chronologically for once bc i really wanna finish this and i’ve got a lot of scenes i’m excited to write i can use to push through the others), it’s the og timeline, the timeline in which draken gets killed by kiyomasa, one of the two following timelines in which draken survives and ends up on death row (i decided to cut one of them bc imo they’re too similar to write abt again), and some past stuff happening before that. which. is not a lot. just now realising how unmuch that is actually wtf it feels like sm more- okay anyways i plan on writing about the bad toman timeline with takemichi as executive, the manila future, bonten future, the future timeline after that with izana, and naoto & takemichi dying, possibly some tenjiku timeskip stuff, and then ofc the final timeline. (i. i gotta say i hope those 30k aren’t lowballing it by like 10k bc if you consider that i’ve written for three timelines plus some inbetween bits and i’m planning for another five whole timelines with inbetween stuff-- ayayay bajiharu is gonna be the death of me)

uhm this is already mUCH longer than planned help buuuut some k polycule stuff bc i love them and they love each other and they are happy. okay so ik you read my posts abt them so i’ll just start with them in their mid/late thirties, finally settled down somewhere they feel safe and they actually like :3 cough cough switzerland mayhaps ? cough cough. yk it can’t be japan anyways... and switzerland is far away...... and i know it well....

okay. they adopt a cat. or maybe two. probably two actually. two cats for them bc they’d like some company other than themselves and kazutora loves cats anyways. i believe that koko is actually more of a dog person bc inupi, but he’s the type of guy to go ‘‘ofc YOU GUYS can get a cat. it’s gonna be YOUR cat. YOU will have to take care of it. i won’t (unless absolutely neccessary.)’’ and then a month or smth after they get a cat kazutora & kakucho are away for a weekend for.. work or smth idk and when they get home koko & the cat are sleeping on the couch while he’s hugging the cat close to his chest, and there’s cat toys all over the floor bc he spent hours playing with the cat. he will still refuse to admit how much he loves the cat but he continues to play and snuggle with it whenever his bfs (husbands? i feel like they’d wear matching wedding rings and call each other husbands even if they legally aren’t bc poly marriage is forbidden) aren’t there to see. also this is really random but kakucho is the small spoon, kokonoi the middle spoon, and kazutora the big spoon. or two of them just sleep hugging the third person.

kazutora would work at a pet shop again i think. maybe he’d even study medicine to become a vet assistant? tbh i’ve always seen him doing that more than chifuyu or baji (tho i love vet student baji too <3). struggling with giving the other two jobs bc after bonten i don’t think kakucho would still want to work with kids (tho i def see him doing some kind of charity work in his free time) and kokonoi... he can’t sponsor anyone like this nor could he do finances for anyone, and he would never ever work at a bank. he’d still like a high paying job/smth at least loosly related to money tho. maybe like some sort of secretary for someone in finances? idk. very open to ideas for these two bc well i am stuck lol.

i think they’d mostly just try to take it slow and enjoy their more peaceful lives now (well kazutora’s life was pretty peaceful before too.. but kokonoi & kakucho) without having to worry about illegal and dangerous and whatnot else stuff. they deserve it okay they all had to go through too many things 😭

also more random stuff about them. kokonoi is banned from the kitchen not because he’s a safety hazard or because he burned down the kitchen once or smth but because he keeps wanting to cook overly expensive gourmet foods, and while they do taste good they are way too expensive and take way too much. plus he HATES having other people in the kitchen with him (he straight up locks them out) and refuses to leave the kitchen while he’s cooking even if he has to wait two hours for something to slowly simmer on low heat so essentially he AND the kitchen are gone for half a day if he wants to make dinner. he doesn’t really mind the kitchen ban though so it works. i think kakucho enjoys cooking the most, but he and kazutora both cook a lot. and sometimes kokonoi forces himself to wake up extra early on weekends (like. 6am. and then he’s done at 7am. and the other two wake up at 9am when early, more like 10am to 11am bc weekend and kokonoi has to wait with his beautifully prepared breakfast for hours) to make pancakes for them all <3

uhh that’s everything in my brain rn i think. i hope. and this is already a fucking essay so whoopsies. anyways that was it, i very much hope you enjoyed my long ass rambles <3 fr fr i missed writing these rambles for you,, but aa i can do that again!! :D

hello elys my love <333 but allg!! i actually read this whole thing a few days after u sent it initially but ive been rlly drained these past like 3 weeks so i hadnt been able to get to it :(( apologies again my love

no cuz fr 15k crazy!!!!! good job!!! no cuz like that lil description of ur rinzu is actually so real.... (this is making me miss my tokyorev hyperfixation so bad ngl) but ur bajiharu fic sounds so good!! the idea and concept of it is so well thought of i applaud u so muchhh

NO CUZ FR WRITING ABT THINGS UR FAMILIAR WITH >> its like u know it so fuckin well which means u can go into rlly good amounts of detail like !!!!!!!!!! ok so first paragraph is so :333 koko being a softie for the cat is so sweettttt omg

i think the jobs u chose for them are good !! suits them all very well but yes agreed they most definitely deserve it <33

ofc its kokonoi doing that, but u cant blame him fr hez just being a good husband </3333

it was fun having this in my inbox again !!! i miss doing these too and i hope the late reply doesnt discourage u <333

[derelictdumbass]

| WIP — Title: I Go Hungry |

"He had kept that mostly to himself when Joseph asked him how they were, keeping it short and sweet with the details as to keep the peace. Jacob understood Joseph had a plan, he saw things differently, he saw people differently. Joseph had decided Nadine was destined to be a part of their family meanwhile Jacob had decided they were worthy of his last hoorah. Either way, both goals needed them to be alive."