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eliza-and-her-monsters · 4 months ago

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The Sky, The Earth & All Between

A Rin Shinonome Backstory

Prequel to Anything > Human

characters: rin shinonome, tae nakanoshima, gen narumi

contains/tw: the biggest and fattest MDNI i’ve probably ever EVER put on a fic before. this is heavy, tragic, sad, all of the above 😭 contains graphic depictions of mental illness such as depression and borderline personality disorder (not specifically stated but alluded to), and graphic depictions of self harm, panic attacks and suicide attempts and ideation and mentions and psychiatric facilities. (this is not meant to romanticize these topics in any way! i’m largely writing from my own personal experience and if you are struggling please please reach out for help 🩵) somewhere in this there is a sort of love story as well so will also contain your lovely wlw smut (can be skipped if that’s something you’re not into though!) probably ooc in some ways but idrgaf because i do what i want! <3

PLEASE also remember this is a PREQUEL so this all takes place at least a year BEFORE anything > human EXCEPT for the beginning which takes place present day while Kikoru’s trying to beat all of the platoon leaders so Narumi will work with her. (This was literally added in last minute because I’m ultimately trying to connect it back to the whole event this story starts with which is of course, the major cataclysms <3) also sorry if the quality isn’t as great as the rest of the story and seems kind of rushed. I really just wanted to get this done 😭

wc: around 18k… you’re FUCKING welcome rin stans 😭

a/n: we have got another yapper y’all 😭 going to try and keep this short and sweet because i stay running my mouth on these sorts of things 😅 anyways though i usually don’t ask for this but i worked really hard on this- like exceptionally hard- like writing nearly 24/7 every day kind of hard and it still took me all week so- if you like this please please like and reblog and it’d be so appreciated 🥺🩵 anyways that’s it! i think! hope you enjoy!

Links: Anything > Human Pt. 1 🩵 Playlist 🩵 Kaiju OCs

The first sign things were going south again she was grateful it was only around Narumi. She hadn’t even intended to talk to anybody about it besides maybe Iris and her therapist at first but the moment Narumi did saw her slipping into an episode he tended to watch her like a hawk. Even though her therapist told her that they didn’t have to meet twice a week anymore. Even though her psychiatrist told her all the time how much of a success she was and that they only needed to meet every six months for quick medicine checks. Even though… for the first time in years whenever it came to her mental health- she had a clean bill.

That wasn’t to say the environment changed, especially with No. 9 seeming to hit them with every curveball known to man. She was just, simply handling it better. She didn’t have the same intrusive thoughts that brought on her own kind of personal mental cataclysms. She had a girlfriend… sort of, kind of… maybe she was still avoiding the label and the roles of severe co-dependency had taken a major swap but… that was besides the point. All in all, given the circumstances… she felt like she was doing pretty damn okay. She just had one major trigger though.

If a trigger could be a person that is; Kikoru Shinomiya was all of them.

Now here she was, long past lights out, still holed up in the training room and slamming her fists into the punching bag like it was her worst enemy. “Damn it, Shinonome.” She heard someone curse from the double doors at the entrance already causing her to roll her eyes in response.

“You know I was taken off suicide watch a long time ago- you don’t have to follow me around constantly.” She said with a huff as she gripped the punching bag once more to stabilize it while trying to toss back her one-sided fringe.

“That isn’t funny.”

“Because I look like I’m laughing?” She scoffed before glancing back at him as he trailed over towards her.

“You’re gonna over exert yourself if you keep going at it like that, Rin, you need to call it.” He ordered as sternly as he possibly could despite the fact, to his detriment, he was almost starting to view them as equals. That didn’t stop him from gripping the punching bag himself to lock it into place.

“Stop playing big brother!” She snapped, one of the only people who could raise her voice at him and get away with it.

“If you didn’t keep going off the rails like this then I wouldn’t have to!”

“If you didn’t undermine every bit of my fucking strength every time you talk to your subordinates and I wouldn’t have to find out while I’m going up against her!”

“Oh my god, is this seriously still about Kikoru? For christ’s sake if I really wanted her to surpass you that fast then I wouldn’t have given her an entire month to do it!” He argued as he stepped around the punching bag, but every word that came out of his mouth seemed to only piss her off even more. Too bad for both of them though, as Narumi had the emotional intelligence of a teaspoon and could be just as hotheaded as Rin sometimes.

“The issue is that you told her to do it at all, Narumi! She’s in my fucking platoon for god’s sake!”

“Okay so what do you suggest then? What was I supposed to say to her? ‘I’ll make sure your strength is unrivaled by all but my own and Shinonome’s of course because she has a serious self importance complex and an ego bigger than the fucking Pacific Ocean!’” She didn’t expect the words to hurt as much as they did, the targeted jab almost causing her to wince as she took a shaking step back. She held her hands into fists so tight they practically shook, bottom lip already gaining a subtle quiver that only made her want to go at the punching bag even more. Even harder. Until the bones in her hands and wrists snapped and the muscles cried for relief.

It wasn’t like they had never fought before, they were like brother and sister after all, and during the first initial stage of her recovery she knew she wasn’t easy to deal with. This attack had felt so specific though. Such an obvious implication that had her almost needing to fight tooth and nail to keep from crying, and even more so to keep from splitting. “D-Do you think I want to feel this way?”

Well, he might’ve had the emotional intelligence of a teaspoon, it’s not like Rin made it too difficult for at least him to read her though. But whenever she heard that dejected sigh and watched his face soften it almost made her more mad. All she felt was angry. So… so… incessantly angry. All of her past failures building up into one giant horror movie that set off a roar inside her head. “Rin… c’mon, that’s not what I meant.”

“I know what you meant.” She murmured, a deadly silent voice that was futile against the ringing in her ears. “Do you have any idea how badly I wish I could just be average at something and be okay with it? This isn’t a fucking ego that makes me feel like I’m hot shit all the time and everybody’s beneath me… this is an ego that makes me feel like I’m never fucking good enough and because of that more people are gonna fucking die and it’s gonna be my fault!” Her voice broke before she knew it, red hot angry tears burning her eyes as they slid down her cheeks. Pressing her back against the wall as the shakes ever so slightly managed to set in. Anxious shakes. Panic attack shakes. “Look I- I know I’m a hazard and-”

“Rin… no- stop, get out of your head and look at me!” He snapped in that firm captain’s voice he rarely ever used with her, watching her wince as he gripped her upper arm and let the other rest on her cheek only to lift her face to meet his. She always flinched whenever he lifted a hand near her face though, more parts of herself that she hadn’t told him and he wouldn’t ask about. Her glassy eyes were dilated as she let her hands dart upwards to grip his arms as well just to have something to hold onto. “Breathe.” He echoed, voice still stern but not too heavy either, just enough to get her to listen to him. “I need you to breathe.”

He waited until he finally saw her chest expand in a breath that was more than a gasp and not disintegrating into her hyperventilating. A slow comedown before she could get too high. “Rin?” He repeated her name once more as he gave her shoulders the tiniest jostle to wrestle the dilation out of her eyes. “You still with me?”

She let herself blink a few times as she took in a few loose breaths before nodding, “Yeah… yeah, I’m okay.”

Before she could even loosen her arms around him he was yanking her into a hug that almost caused her to groan at first before her face was smushed into his shoulder. “God, you stress me the hell out.”

“I know.” She murmured, letting her cheek plop against his shoulder with a shake of her head. “I just wish…” she began, but slowly let the words die on her tongue as she sank her teeth into the flesh as if to stop herself. Don’t poke the bear. Don’t try to find an agreement where there is none. And there well and truthfully wasn’t one.

“You just wish what?” He pressed on, pulling away only to keep his hands on her arms as if she was some rapid beast that would go off the rails if he did let go.

“Nothing… it’s nothing, you’re right. It’s entirely just jealousy- that’s all it is.” She remarked with a weak shrug. Though her eyebrows lifted in confusion the moment she saw Narumi whirl around to dig out a pair of punch mitts that he was already starting to slide onto his hands.

“As my punishment I will let myself be your punching bag for at least a few rounds. Then I’m making you go to bed. Actually go to bed.”

“And this doesn’t put Kikoru at an unfair disadvantage?” She questioned, though resuming lacing up the minuscule beat-up wraps for her hands.

“Nope, I’m not helping you, I’m not training you, I’m just… simply, being your training partner.” He began with a shrug, already feeling his legs shift and his eyes widen the moment she struck one of the mitts with no hint of mercy. “Okay, nice.”

“Thank you, I do try.” She responded almost sassily before sending her fists sailing towards the mats once more in a flurry of hits and even a couple kicks for good measure.

Narumi barely made it easy for her though as he made himself into a moving target of sorts, switching up positions and stances leaving her to predict his next move. That was okay though, she wanted him to make it difficult for her. She’d be happier if he honestly worked her to the bone until she couldn’t breathe. He wouldn’t do that though. She was the only person he wouldn’t do that to because he knew he didn’t have to. She was already doing enough to herself as it was.

“See, think of yourself as like- the final boss that she has to face before she can beat the game.” He kept talking casually despite the combos ramming into each of his hands that he almost danced around the mat with.

“The final boss isn’t you?” She questioned with a lifted eyebrow, already feeling her chest clench and sweat pouring from her forehead.

“The final boss is rarely ever actually someone’s mentor- maybe in Pokemon… but we’re not Pokemon.” He explained with another small shrug. His expression was beginning to shift though, from being amused to one of worry. She was starting to falter, he could see it, the way her breathing went heavy and it seemed as if she was swaying on her feet. “Rin, you’re gonna hurt yourself. Maybe we should stop.”

“I’m fine.” She tried to bring force into her tone, tried to sound infinitely more stable than she was. Everybody’s body had a breaking point though.

The pain was sharp and biting at first, like a knife had been rammed straight into the center of her chest. Whenever she was in pain she rarely cried out. She rarely let it show. This was the one thing she couldn’t push back though. The kind of pain that swept her breath directly out of her lungs, giving her just enough to choke out an instinctual yelp of pain. Her hand flew to her chest like she was searching for a stab wound where there was none, tears burning in her eyes as she doubled over. And even in the midst of all that she was still trying to convince herself she was okay.

“Rin!” Narumi’s voice almost sounded like she had been dunked underwater, not even realizing her knees were pressing into the mat until her vision started to unblur. “Rin, what the hell?!” He dropped down next to her, arm flying around her shoulders as if to catch her if she fell.

“I-I’m fine.” She stammered, words she was way too used to saying as she held up an arm to keep him from hovering too much.

“Bull-fucking-shit you’re fine! Did you just-”

“I did not have a heart attack, Narumi! My heart’s still beating, I think I would know if it wasn’t!” She exclaimed through a tiny groan, though she still latched onto his shoulder as she tried to plop down into a sitting position. All the while still clutching at her chest for dear life, afraid the moment she let go maybe it would actually stop.

“Look I…” she blew out a heavy breath and glued her eyes to her knees, “I’m sorry. I know I’m an asshole and I stress you out and probably make your life infinitely harder than it needs to be. I- I get it. But I don’t know how to be anyway else.” She shook her head, finally disconnecting her hand and running her fingers through her messy hair. “A-And for fuck’s sakes I’m trying, Narumi. I-I’ve worked so hard just to get to the point where I could finally go out of my room and talk to people and actually make relationships with people beyond just sex for one night! Fuck I’m- I-I may be a basket case but I’m trying! I-I’m fucking trying.” Her voice cracked as she finally lifted her head to face him.

“And you don’t get to take that away from me. None of you do.” Her words were firm despite the rawness in her voice, the quivers and the burning tears. But she refused to make herself even weaker. She completely and utterly refused.

Her body seemed to scream in pain the moment she pushed herself up to her feet but she hid it well as she undid the hand wraps and tossed them in her duffel bag that she had haphazardly pinned rainbow and lesbian flags to in order to get men to hopefully back off. Sometimes it worked. Sometimes it didn’t. But luckily if there was one thing she wasn’t afraid to be open about it was her identity. Not that she thought it was ever really up for debate but you’d be surprised at the audacity of some men. Hell, some of them even thought she only made platoon leader because she was secretly fucking Narumi… those rumors were pretty easy to shut down though with one simple spar. At least sometimes she had confidence.

“I’m going to bed… like you wanted me to.” She spoke, arms aching from the strain as she hoisted the gym bag up onto her shoulder.

“Rin… wait-” He began as he too pushed himself up to stand as if to try and chase after her. He knew she didn’t though, she never did.

“Narumi, please- just don’t.” Rin stated with an exhausted sigh. “Just give me some space, alright. I’ll be fine… I just need some space.”

“Just… don’t do anything stupid at least?” He nearly begged but wouldn’t let too much of it slip into his voice.

“I won’t. You know I won’t.” She murmured before finally letting her feet carry her out into the hallway, motion detecting lights all blaring to life the moment she finally emerged from the training room and pushed herself into the bathroom. Historically never a good place for her to retreat to whenever she was teetering on the edge of breakdown mode. Sometimes she went in order to try and test herself. Assure herself that she was fine. That she wasn’t nearly as bad off as she was a year ago.

The truth was is that Narumi didn’t know she wasn’t going to do anything stupid. Even if it had been over a year since she had really flown off the handle, she knew in the back of his mind it was always there. The idea that she could lose to herself… so easily, at the drop of a hat. The most difficult thing she’d ever have to fight wasn’t a kaiju at all, it was herself.

Her breathing was heavy as she splashed a handful of freezing water on her face to bring her back down to earth. You need to breathe, Rin, you need to breathe. You’re important to people now, you matter to people now. You need to get your shit together.

With a heavy breath she lifted a hand to press her two fingers to the pulse point on her neck. The tiny thumps almost sounding like they were rushing against her fingers causing her eyes to go wide, nearly even losing count as she kept her eyes trained on the clock attached to the wall. Elevated heart rate. Highly elevated. Shit.

“Goddamn it, I will not have something else wrong with me.” She practically growled as she propped her elbows up on the porcelain, swallowing a heavy lump and letting her eyes continue to burn with frustrated and angry tears. Her vision was blurred as she glanced upwards, bottom lip still trembling pathetically as she met her own bloodshot eyes. And for the first time in over a year, she felt like breaking the glass again.

.・。.・゜✭・.・✫・゜・。.

-One Year Ago-

Rin had had several times that she should’ve probably checked herself into a psych ward. Nothing had ever felt so helpless as to where she was right now though, hunched over the public bathroom counters in the middle of the night whenever she was supposed to be in bed. At first she thought just taking a walk would help, then she found herself crashing out in front of the sinks splashing cold water on her face and hoping it would bring herself back down to earth.

She was being a bad host. Seething in front of the mirror over those stupid higher numbers from every other division. 70%… it always stayed at fucking 70%. And for a while she was okay with that, within her own division besides Narumi and Hasegawa she was the strongest. Strongest officer turned into the strongest platoon leader and maybe one day she could be on the same level as Ashiro and Narumi as one of the strongest captains. She wasn’t there yet though… it wouldn’t fucking budge. No matter how hard she fought or how broken she left the battlefield… it wouldn’t- fucking- budge.

She might as well had been the weakest at that point, other platoon leaders were going to catch up at some point. She wasn’t going to be good enough. She was already cracking underneath the pressure as it was. She was never going to be good enough. Never never never…

She didn’t even feel herself smash the mirror with a shaking fist and a strangled cry of frustration until the glass bit into the side of her hand and forearm. ‘I need to feel something. I need to feel like I’m human again. That I’m not a machine. I’m not a machine. I’m not a machine.’ With each sentence she caught herself sinking her arm deeper into the shattered glass, letting it embed itself, draw blood until it pooled up against the glass and ran down her arms. The pain was jarring at first, leaving her gasping out as she finally yanked her arm away from the mirror. The comedown back to reality feeling like a fist as she let out a horrified little sob at the sight of her wrecked arm.

For a moment she felt as though she might stay there, let the defense force make an example out of her. This is what happens whenever you lose yourself. This is what happens whenever you feel your entire worth is determined by that stupid number that reflects back at you the moment you wear that combat suit. She stared much too long at one of those larger chunks of glass. Hand twitching amongst the mess as if she wanted to reach out towards it. This was it. This was where the internal battle started. If they found her with self inflicted wounds they would deem her selfish. Someone who never should’ve set foot on these grounds. A mistake that slipped through all of the ranks. People wouldn’t cry. They’d shake their heads and say ‘what a waste.’

‘But nobody is coming to save you, Rin. You are not the one who gets saved in stories like these. You’re the necessary sacrifice.’ Even then she caught herself begging for it. For somebody to come save her. For once in her life. ‘Somebody please just come and save me.’

In terms of a God, she wasn’t sure if she believed in one. She had weighed the options in her head. Had a brief mythological phase in her life where she considered the possibility. But then also figured that if she truly believed in it she wouldn’t be calling it ‘mythology.’ In that moment though, she prayed to whoever would listen.

The door swung open at the very last second with the piece of glass pressed to her skin just below her elbow, the way she jumped nearly causing her to complete the action anyways. “Woah, hey, hey, what the hell are you doing?! Don’t do that! Put that down!” Finally she was wrenched from whatever abyss she had been falling in, one hand tossing the glass away and the other firmly gripping her chin to make her meet her gaze.

Rin’s vision was blurry, tears still streaming rapidly from her red and glassy eyes. Pink eyes, with equally as pink hair that she truthfully had no clue how on earth she made it stay like that. She was loosely familiar. Third division. Someone she probably should’ve had some sort of rivalry with but it was to difficult to keep up with rivalries whenever you were too busy fighting with yourself.

“Listen to me! You fight and kill ginormous beasts for a living! You don’t get to go out this way, do you hear me! This is the one battle you don’t get to lose!” A stupid sob pried at the back of Rin’s throat as she watched her alleged savior point a sharp finger right at her. And to this day she was still one of the only people Rin had actually allowed herself to cry in front of… at the time she was the first.

“I just- I just don’t feel like I belong here. S-Something’s wrong with me.” She barely recognized herself whenever she finally spoke again. She had never sounded so weak. So torn up. So vulnerable. A mix of all of the things that she never wanted to be.

“Something’s wrong with all of us! That’s the whole reason we’re here! You don’t go into this line of work without having some serious shit you need to let go of! Not by doing this, Rin!” She felt her other hand wrapping around her bleeding arm, careful to avoid the wounds, and being surprisingly gentle. She wasn’t used to gentle.

Another thing that had caught her attention also, she had used her name. Not just any name though, her first name. “You know my name?” Rin questioned, almost flinching the moment she felt the warmth of her hand spreading against her cheek. The act of human touch so obscene and out of the ordinary to her she almost pulled away at first. Until she realized just how much she had wanted to be held.

“Everybody knows your name. They look up to you. And you don’t even… see that?” She was left in disbelief for a while, eyebrows furrowing through another pathetic sob as she felt the shame burning in her chest. I never should’ve been chosen for this. I shouldn’t be here. I shouldn’t be here. “Damn, it really is the people who are the greatest that’re the most hard on themselves, isn’t it?” She spoke through a huff, the glass crunching underneath her feet as she knelt down on the mess of the floor without a single ounce of thought. “Do you want me to help you?” The question was short and straightforward, catching her off guard enough to where she didn’t even know if she could really answer.

“If you want to live, I’ll help you. But if you don’t… well, I’m still not gonna let you kill yourself in here but- I won’t bother you. I won’t try to convince you or give you some big grand speech about why you should want to live but… if you- if you want to, I’ll help you.” Her entire body seemed to tremble the moment she felt another hand on the other side of her face, gently brushing back her loose strands of hair. “I think you want to live.”

“Why?” The question barely came out in a whisper, barely audible, airy and soaked in 50 layers of pain. She read her with ease though. This girl that she didn’t even know the name of, this girl that wasn’t even in the same division as her… read her easier than anyone else had. Read her better than she could even read herself.

“Because if you actually wanted to kill yourself then I think you would’ve done it already.” The answer should’ve felt obvious. Because it was true, Rin had had ample chances to do it if she actually wanted to. It was easy enough already to die on the battlefield. But even beyond that it wasn’t as if she had a ton of people watching out for her. It wasn’t like anyone would’ve gone out of their way to check on her and stop her. But even now, even before someone had walked in on her she had hesitated. She had begged, prayed endlessly for somebody to help her. Save her. For once just let her be someone who gets saved. And now here she was, this metaphorical knight in shining armor who hadn’t hesitated to kneel right on broken glass for her. It had to have meant something.

“What’s your name?” Rin spoke, finally lifting a shivering hand to wipe at her wrecked eyes.

The woman seemed to let out a sigh of relief at the casual breakthrough, “Nakanoshima… that’s long as hell though so, you can call me Tae.”

Rin nodded through another shuddering sob before she finally did the unthinkable, she bypassed the handshake, the formalities, all of it; and for once she finally let herself throw herself right into someone else’s arms. Her grip was tight and unyielding, wrought with the weight of someone who couldn’t recall the last time someone had even touched her much less the last time she had actually had a hug. Her scarred arm burned from the contact against the fabric, probably staining her shirt red. But she didn’t care, she didn’t care about anything, all she wanted was to be held.

Tae seemed almost taken aback at first, arms tensed as if she wasn’t sure whether to put them around her or not. But ultimately she finally blew out another breath and pulled her in closer. “Hey, hey, you’re okay. You’re gonna be okay. I’ve got you now. I’ve got you.” The next string of sobs that came out was muffled into her shoulder, a breakdown that had her gasping and choking for air while at the same time hiding her face deeper into Tae’s shirt. “Okay… okay, just- hang onto me and I’m gonna take you back to your room and patch you up.”

Rin caught her breath hitching in her throat the moment her body left the floor, grimacing at the feeling in her arm as she let her hand squeeze around her shoulder. She didn’t know why she was surprised, most people in the defense force could lift any average sized person without assistance. They had to be able to. It was still a shock to the system though. She didn’t trust people like this. She always expected the worst. Yet here she was, putting the entire weight of her body in someone else’s arms.

To be fair, whenever she looked back at that fateful moment she always questioned how they had gotten to the point that they did. The events of her stay in Ariake leading up towards the climax of their relationship were a blur. Like a movie filmed entirely out of focus… until Tae stepped into view. What she did remember however was how her hands were exceptionally gentle as she removed the micro pieces of glass embedded into her skin and applied pressure to the deeper wounds. The brush of skin on skin as she wrapped the bandages around the bloody indentions the pieces of broken glass had left. And lastly that while she was still taller than Tae she still found her face burrowed into her chest, begging for her to stay. ‘Stay, stay, stay… please don’t leave me here again.’

It was always going to be a slippery slope downwards. She got far too attached far too fast. She knew that. It had always been in issue in the past and vastly why she tried to stay as far away from other people as possible. It was so easy to forget with her though, while she had a gentle heartbeat thumping underneath her ear with her bandaged arm draped over Tae’s body. Legs tangled up like she was seeking out any form of human contact possible. Like if she pulled away for one second then maybe she’d forget what she felt like. What warmth felt like.

.・。.・゜✭・.・✫・゜・。.

Tae would ask her the deepest questions, the questions she hadn’t even dared to ask herself. All within the walls of her small studio apartment curled up around each other or side by side on their backs. Facing the typical teenage glow in the dark stars Rin had stuck haphazardly on the ceiling in some fragile attempt to feel like she was underneath the stars every night. The long weekend Tae was there felt like it could’ve stretched on for months. Maybe even a lifetime. Multiple lifetimes. All that and Rin never once considered the possibility that it could’ve been more. She probably should have.

“I can’t believe I never noticed any of your freckles before.” Tae had whispered one night, her last night, drawing a light finger along the path of pigmentation. Softly trailing up her arms, her shoulders, touches that made her shiver. “They look like constellations.” Rin’s breath went shallow as her finger reached her chest, gulping a heavy lump down her throat. Almost feeling like a path of goosebumps was following the slow trace of her finger along the broader expanse of marks scattered across her chest. It felt so intimate, the most gentle touch of all time yet the one that made her feel the most. “Is this… okay?” Tae asked with a near hint of anxiety creeping behind her voice as her hand suddenly stilled.

“Yeah… it- it feels kind of good actually.” She spoke, suddenly aware of the way her chest rose and fell with each little breath. Heavier and heavier and heavier, and she was terrified of Tae feeling it. She did though, she knew she did, the lightest little curve creeping into the corners of her lips as she unexpectedly but slowly let her hand flatten to press it entirely against her chest. Like she was pushing all of the air right out of her lungs.

“Are you sure? Your breathing’s starting to get really hard.” She only teased, a spring of butterflies doubling up inside Rin’s stomach. Were those butterflies? Is that what they felt like?

“Tae… c-can I ask you something?” Rin stammered as she carefully pushed herself up onto her elbows. Tae’s hand only sliding upwards to encircle around the back of her neck, another move that left her breathless and an invisible burning handprint where her hand had previously been.

“Anything.” She murmured, lightly sliding her fingers through the blue locks of hair on the underside of her scalp.

“Y-You’re not straight, are you?”

Tae’s eyes widened as if taken aback, nearly about to leave Rin cursing at herself for misinterpreting the entire situation. Just until her jaw fell open and her sharp eyebrows furrowed, “Nobody in the third division’s fucking straight, our captain’s a literal lesbian.”

“Okay, thank god, I had to be sure.” She spoke through a heavy sigh of relief before finally biting back every growing sense of anxiety and diving after her. The world almost felt like it was stuttering to a stop the moment their lips touched. Another sharp intake of air came from her nose this time as her hands found the sides of Tae’s face, tugging her in until she could feel her forearms pressing entirely against her body. ‘Please kiss me back. Please kiss me back. Please please please…’

Just before she could yank herself away with embarrassment though she could feel Tae’s arms sliding around her waist, closing the rest of the gap between the two. And Rin could’ve almost moaned at the feeling of another body pressing entirely to hers. Meanwhile the kiss only grew with a fervor, deepening by the second just before she could feel a tongue slip past her teeth causing another muffled moan to spill into Tae’s mouth. She then let another arm slide around the expanse of her broad shoulders as their tongues only tangled together for a split second just before Rin could hear the other woman let out a small gasp.

“Do- Do you have a tongue piercing?” She spoke, jerking a hand upwards to grasp her chin as if she was going to pry her tongue out herself.

Rin’s cheeks burned with a heated flush as she curled her arms around her shoulders, tensing as if she had done something wrong, “I-I can take it out. I-I just got it whenever I was 16 to piss my parents off so-”

“Fuck no, you’re not taking that thing out. I feel like I just hit the jackpot. Now get back over here.” Tae practically rejoiced, her smirk only turning into a little laugh just before she could pull her back in to her lips.

Rin only let out another sigh of relief against her lips, sliding her fingers through her bright pink hair while the other tugged almost helplessly at the collar of her shirt. And with a low chuckle against her while barely breaking their connection Tae easily swept off the white t-shirt. And just like that she was left breathless all over again. It was always hard to ogle in the DF with all the baggy clothing and long sleeves they wore nearly 24/7. Not that that was something she ever minded, she hardly ever thought of what it would be like being tangled up with somebody like this. But now that she had… god, how was she supposed to think of anything else? How was she supposed to think of anything but the rippling muscles in her arms, the toned muscles in her stomach that only stretched upwards to a well defined chest. She looked so similar to her own body but so different at the same time. And she loved every bit of it. Almost feeling like an alien discovering human life for the first time.

Her breathing felt more shallow than ever as she let her curious hands slip downwards, run along her arms like she wanted to trace the lines of every muscle. “You are… so beautiful.” She murmured as their foreheads pressed against each others, leaving her shaking hands pressed to either side of Tae’s chest.

“So are you.” Tae whispered back, cautiously sliding her hands up the fabric of her tank top, along the curve of her waist towards the dip in her back. “Can I?”

Rin swallowed another anxious lump down her throat as she nodded, slowly guiding her hands towards the end of her tank top. Tae went slow, dragging her hands up the length of her torso as if to savor every touch of bare skin she possibly could. Another shallow moan spilling from Rin’s lips at the contact alone. A small shiver crept through her body before she could feel the warmth of Tae pulling her back in, her arm slipping around the length of her shoulders this time as they swapped positions and Rin let her arms curl around her waist. Desperate to feel her lips on hers again. Desperate to not think of anything else. ‘Consume me. Consume me entirely and I’ll let you.’

“You’re shaking.” Tae read right through her as she placed her hands back on her cheeks. “We don’t have to do this if you-”

“No… n-no I- I want this. I do.” Rin argued through heavy breaths, probably nodding like a damn bobblehead before she could wrap her hands around one of Tae’s wrists to slowly guide it downwards until her hand was pressed to her chest once more. Like a silent offering. ‘Take my heart. You can have it. You can have anything.’ “Please… please, I want this.”

Tae scanned every inch of her face, searching for anything, any sign that she was pushing herself too hard. Lying to herself. But there was none. In fact those cyan eyes had never appeared so sincere before. Looking back on it now, that’s probably the sign she should’ve looked for most of all. “Then let me take the lead first.”

Rin was breathless as she nodded and let her press her body to the mattress below. Their lips found each other once more, moving in sync and just as ferociously as they had before. But this time there was a new hunger attached to them. The smallest whimper tumbled from Rin’s lips however the moment she felt Tae’s drifting, placing a trail of kisses along her jaw, down her neck, nipping at her pulse point. Every inch of her felt so sensitive. Crumbling right underneath of her so easily.

She placed kisses on every inch of her it felt like, every little freckle along her collarbones, her chest, lower. A gasp lodging right in her throat as she felt Tae’s lips wrapping around one of her sensitive nipples, a trembling hand curling through her thick locks of pink hair. “You know it’s really such a shame we have to keep these beautiful things hidden away.” Tae whispered against her skin as she let her other hand cautiously slide around her other breast, just in time for Rin to let out a breathless laugh mixed with her own moans.

“I-I don’t think it’s the male officers they have to worry about.” She stammered through the newfound sensations coursing through her just as she could see a smirk pulling on Tae’s lips once more. A sharp whimper fell from her mouth all over again as she felt the flat of her tongue lapping and curling around the sensitive bud.

“Oh darling, you know we’ve always been far more dangerous than them.” She voiced with a low chuckle that could’ve taken her out right then and there just before she could trail her lips lower, hooking her fingers around the waistband of her sweatpants as she shot her another silent ask of consent.

“Please.” Rin whispered, eyebrows furrowing together in need the moment she felt her last pieces of clothing being tugged down her legs. And she caught herself biting down on her bottom lip so hard she nearly thought she was going to draw blood.

“You have no idea how long I’ve been wanting to taste you, Rin.” Her hot breath on her core brought out another sharp whimper, fingers tangling through her bright hair once more as she felt the torturously long drawn out kisses being placed along her inner thighs.

Rin’s jaw dropped however the moment she felt her warm tongue dragging through her center, a sharp whimper spilling from her lips as she immediately let her hips buck against her face. The sudden vibrations of a moan coming from Tae’s lips having her gasping out in relief. The tip of her sharp nose nudged against her sensitive clit, nearly sending her over the edge at the new found pleasure. Having Rin immediately bursting up onto her elbows the moment the wet muscle slipped inside of her, the most pathetic whimper falling from her lips as she managed to curl it in all of the right places. Like she was placing open mouthed and deep kisses right against her core.

“I need you to lay back, Rin.” She softly chastised, the quiet type of dominance making her fall right back onto her back. Eyes up at the ceiling at the ungodly pleasure that seemed to course through her while she kept a shaking hand on top of her head. The noises were getting harder to keep tame though, harder to keep from getting too loud as she caught her hips rolling up against her face once more while she worked her tongue better than she had any weapon… which was already saying something. And before she could stammer out an apology Tae was already gripping her thighs to pull her cunt as close as humanly possible. “Good girl, baby, keep riding my face just like that.”

The way she spoke to her, her tone of voice, the vibrations of every word shooting another spark of ecstasy through her. “This- Th-This cannot be your first time doing this.” She barely got the words out before she could feel Tae’s long tongue curling around her clit, the stimulation across the entire surface of the bundle of nerves causing her to let out a loud cry of euphoria. Meanwhile from between her legs though Tae only shot a knowing smirk up at her before she could start lapping at the sensitive muscle like a starved woman. The pleasure was overwhelming yet blissful at the same time, slowly letting her hips move in time with the motions of Tae’s tongue while she clutched onto her thighs.

“Rin?” Tae spoke, and she could barely notice the sudden halt in movements before she could let out a tiny moan at the sudden replacement of her moan with her thumb. “Can I try putting a finger in?”

Through her heavy breaths she nodded, gulping another anxious lump down her throat. “Y-You’ll keep using your tongue too, right?” Rin nearly whined at the need to feel her tongue again. She almost hated herself for being so needy, but Tae brought that out of her. She left her completely at her mercy.

“Baby, I’m always gonna use my tongue.” She murmured just in time to connect her tongue right back to her clit as promised, another moan of relief spilling out as she let her hips buck right back up against her face.

The first finger was jarring, had her darting up onto her elbows once more with nervous whimpers as if she was a terrified puppy. She had reduced her to that. “Shhh… shhh, I’ve got you, just relax.” Tae whispered in the most soothing voice she could muster, sliding the fingers of her free hand through Rin’s. And right then as she curled her calloused middle finger upwards she felt the first few nudges of pleasure spreading elsewhere as she let out a shuddering sigh of relief. “That feel good, baby?”

“O-Oh fuck… yeah.” She was nearly rendered speechless as Tae began to slowly pump her fingers in and out, each time making sure to curl them up just right exactly where she couldn’t hit with her tongue. All of which making Rin melt right into a puddle above her. She was slow and careful at first, but gradually picking up the pace the more she heard the sounds coming from Rin’s mouth get sharper, heavier.

The second finger introduced the slightest tinge of pain, but Rin had never been afraid of pain. And she had already been in such a state of pleasure for as long as they had been laying here. The stretch brought a newfound sense of ecstasy as she almost seemed to caress the throbbing sweet spot deeper inside of her. All the while she never lost track of the way her tongue lapped at her swollen clit… every single motion into one she could barely withstand for too long before she felt herself tumbling towards the edge. Her legs a quivering mess, chest heaving up and down so rapidly with every sharp breath turned into cries and moans of pure desire.

“Tae- I think I’m… o-oh fuck.” Once again she could barely get the words out, the feeling of a fierce climax rumbling to life faster than she could even recognize it.

“Shhh, I’ve got you, baby… just let go, I’ll take care of you.” The release hit her before she knew it, tears pricking at the corners of her eyes as her muscles started to contract, jaw dropping and back arching as she moaned out her name like it was the only word she knew. It felt like a release of so much more than just sexual pleasure, a release of every bit of tension and pain flooding out of her until she was left completely limp on the bed below. Her heartbeat still thumping in her ears with sweat clinging to her forehead, cheeks and chest probably more flushed than they had ever been.

“You still with me, princess?” Tae whispered, gently smoothing out her messy hair and brushing the stray tears away from the sides of her face.

The tiniest little smile formed on her face as she peered up at her, eyes bright and glazed over, probably looking like the most obvious depiction of lovesick. “Nobody’s ever called me ‘princess’ before.” She spoke, the flush seeming to take over her entire upper body at this point.

“That’s quite the shame then… because I think I could search the entire world and I wouldn’t find a single person that measured up to you.” Tae spoke, gently grasping her chin in between her thumb and forefinger as if she wanted to study every inch of her face, commit it to memory. To this day Rin still wondered if she meant any of those words. She liked to think she did, even though deep down she had wanted it to be malicious. She wanted her to be a piece of shit so she wouldn’t have to look too far inward. So she wouldn’t ever have to admit to herself that Tae hadn’t been the only one to destroy what they had at all. They just simply weren’t meant to be.

The truth was… Rin knew that they were never supposed to work out. Deep down in the back of her mind in a crevice she never wanted to admit to. She was a twister, after all; she could twist and morph and completely rearrange herself for the person she loved. Anything to get to them. She would’ve destroyed herself, turned herself inside and out, torn her chest right open to hand over her beating heart. She would romanticize all of her pain, write the next Romeo and Juliet, a tragic tale of star-crossed forbidden lovers. She just had to survive it first.

.・。.・゜✭・.・✫・゜・。.

“Rin… this is- holy shit.” Tae spoke as she held the notebook in her hands like it was some rare artifact. And to Rin it nearly was. Her writing was a sacred thing, the closest look into the darkest most private parts of her life. She knew it was ironic though, spending most of her life wanting to be known for something that she was too afraid to show anyone. Until now. Now here she was, curled up in her sheets with both of their bodies still bare from the activities they had been engaging in just a half hour ago.

Her head had been on Tae’s chest like it frequently was afterwards as she traced absentminded shapes along her collarbone whenever she asked her what she’d want to be if she wasn’t in the defense force. Hobbies besides the killing of monstrous beasts and turning your body into a machine. At first, Rin thought it would’ve been difficult to answer. She could barely remember her life outside of the constant anger. But whenever Tae asked it hadn’t been difficult at all to answer. She wanted to be a writer.

“You- seriously wrote this? Just like, on your downtime you sit and put every great classic poet to shame?”

“Okay… I definitely wouldn’t go that far.” She said with a little chuckle before finally picking her head up from her shoulder to shake her head.

“I’m being serious… why the hell are you here and not becoming the next great Japanese writer?” She questioned, throwing her hands up in the air as if genuinely appalled. And Rin didn’t flinch at the sudden movements either, she never flinched with Tae.

“Getting into the defense force is much easier than getting a book deal as a delinquent 17-year-old.” She answered with a sad little shrug as she watched Tae’s expression soften while she shut the notebook and sat it on the messy bedside table. “And I… I really needed an outlet I guess. Besides, you know, punching walls and breaking things.”

“Well-” Tae cleared her throat as she let her fingers brush ever so slightly underneath her chin to tilt her face up to meet hers. “I, for one, think you’ve done an amazing job… at both things.” The soft smile forming on her lips only made Rin’s grow, the smallest flutter of butterflies creeping into her stomach at her words. Tae gently placing her soft hands against her cheeks as she leaned in to press her lips to hers before she slumped downwards into bed to place her head on Rin’s chest this time. Sometimes a position she liked a little bit more than the latter. The touch of human contact while still feeling like you were the strong one, without feeling so vulnerable, finally feeling like she could be the protector rather than the one that always needs someone to come talk them down from the ledge.

“Besides,” Tae began once more as she finally knocked her from her brief trance. “I hear it’s a lot easier to get a book deal whenever you’re a gold star captain of the defense force anyways.”

Rin let out a soft little laugh with a playful roll of her eyes, just before she could slip her arm around her shoulders just to pull her in tighter, until she could feel the brush of her pink hair underneath her chin. “I’m barely a gold star platoon leader let alone a captain.”

“You will be captain one day though… you’ll be one of the greats. Hall of fame, right next to your number one.” Tae bragged as if she could already see it all unfolded in her head, and for a moment maybe Rin could too. Only a moment though. That was all she had room for.

“Passing up Ashiro just feels disrespectful though.” Rin flushed with another little snicker before she could lean her cheek against the top of Tae’s head. “I’m cool with maxing out at 95%… I don’t need to go any higher than that. Unless Ashiro surpasses that and then I could go higher but-”

“Okay okay… right next to Ashiro then. The two most badass female captains there ever was- besides Hikari Shinomiya, of course. So the three most badass female captains.” She recited like she was reading some headline, another soft chuckle coming from Rin’s end as she let her thumb lightly trace circles against her shoulder.

“I think I can live with that.” She murmured with a content sigh, eyes fluttering shut just as she felt the pads of Tae’s fingers beginning to map out the paths of her freckles again. Something that always soothed her right to sleep, but also made her ten times more scared to lose her every single time. Her soft smile faded ever so slightly as she pulled her eyes back open to face those same glow in the dark stars on her ceiling. “Whenever I wake up are you going to be gone again?”

“Rin…” There it was again, that same sad sigh that she always let out right before she was about to hit her with the same reminder. Their day offs couldn’t last forever, they couldn’t stay in each other’s divisions 24/7… at some point she had to let her go again. Go back to their training schedules and neutralization operations and move through her life like every moment wasn’t spent counting down the minutes until she could see her again. “You know I would stay here all the time if I could.”

“I know- I- I get it.” Her breathing was shaky again, quivering in the back of her throat though she willed it not to turn into anything else. No, no she was getting better. She had to be getting better. She didn’t feel the soul crushing loneliness anymore besides the fact it felt like she lost herself entirely the moment Tae left. She knew it wasn’t healthy… but at least it was love. “Just ummm, before you leave do you think you could wake me up first?”

“Rin, you really need the extra sleep. I know you don’t sleep well whenever I’m not here.” Tae released another heavy sigh, those types of pity sighs that were always filled with so much more than anyone let on. “C’mon, let’s swap.” She replied before suddenly shifting so she was rolling off of her, lifting a hand to gently pat her chest, “C’mere, Riri.”

Rin’s cheeks tinged pink at the loosely infamous nickname as she shifted onto her side to curl up to her, “I hate that nickname, you know?” She huffed, though she made no attempt to deny her offer as she slid underneath her arm and placed her head on her bare chest. Already letting out a tiny sigh of relief at the delicate thump that rested underneath her ear.

‘Sometimes I wish the only thing I had to hear was your heartbeat. A soft and steady incantation of the only thing in the world I believe to be true. I love you. I love you. I love you.’

“You like it whenever I call you that though.” Tae teased with a snicker just before she could brush her lips right against her forehead.

“As long as you don’t call me that whenever my tongue’s inside you. You ever try that and then you’re not getting head for at least two weeks.” She scolded lightly as she lifted a stern finger up at her.

“Two weeks, dude?! C’mon, that’s just cruel and unusual punishment!” Tae spoke through a dramatic whine that only made her burst into giggles.

“Trust me, it’ll hurt me more than you.” Rin added with an equally as dramatic pout up at her, and this time it was her turn to laugh as she gave her a playful swat on the arm.

“You’re a munch, and I’ve created an absolute monster.” She laughed while Rin’s lips just faded into a little smirk of pride as she squeezed her arms around her waist and let her cheek scrunch up against her chest.

“Be honest, is it just the tongue piercing?” She drawled on as she peered up at her with a V formed with her fingers as she stuck her tongue right out in between.

“Hang on, put your tits away and hold that position for a second.” Tae laughed, inching herself away only to snatch up her phone with a mischievous grin on her face.

“Tae, you better not post that!” Rin exclaimed with reddened cheeks though she stretched herself over to snatch up one of the shirts from the pile of clothes haphazardly discarded on the floor anyways.

“Why? You’re literally basically an influencer at this point and no offense but you’re not exactly screaming ‘straight girl!’” She scoffed with a little roll of her eyes.

“Because apparently I’m a ‘role model’ and I have to stay ‘PG’.” It was Rin’s turn to roll her eyes next as she pulled the shirt on, immediately recognizing the scent and oversized material as Tae’s. “Alright, take your picture before I put this tongue to better use.” She winked before striking the pose once more though this time letting her eyes roll back into her head almost dramatically. Meanwhile Tae only burst into giggles and snapped a fair few.

“Definitely new screensaver.” She teased as Rin snuck over to steal a look at the screen.

“Oh yeah, so hot… edgy tumblr girl circa 2016.” She chuckled at the sight before Tae could toss her phone aside once more and scooch back down to her original position.

“They’d eat you up, for sure… in more ways than one.” She smirked as she lounged her back against one of her arms, using the other to slip around Rin’s shoulders the moment she snuggled back up to her. “I guess I can wake you up before I leave tomorrow.” She spoke in a much softer tone, letting her smile fade ever so slightly as she leaned her cheek against the top of her head. “If you promise to write me more of those pretty poems before I come back.”

Rin’s own smile only grew as she squished her reddened cheek back against Tae’s chest, bright eyes finally drifting shut. “I think I can do that.”

.・。.・゜✭・.・✫・゜・。.

The trend of the poems continued… she wrote a new one just about every day it seemed. Also probably looking way too much like Light Yagami as she scribbled in her black notebook. Maybe looking back on it that was what caused her to pull her away. That deadly series of poems that she later ended up sealing in a box and shoving it in the very back corner underneath her bed. She didn’t want to remember the version of her that had been in love. She wanted that version of her dead.

Everything ends, after all. Sometimes violently. Sometimes in screaming. And sometimes it ends falling apart in the middle of the 1st division parking lot. Arms squeezed around Tae’s waist with her face burrowed in between her shoulders blades leaking probably enough tears to stain even the thick fabric of her black defense force coat. “We can still make it work… i-it’s only a 20 minute drive we can- Tae please…”

“Rin, baby… I can’t be your only person anymore. This isn’t healthy.” She spoke through a pained sigh, hands on her knees as she kept her face glued to the ground.

“I’ll make friends then… I’ll- I’ll try and talk to people a-and I’ll go to psych and start going to therapy… I-I’ll do anything just please don’t leave.” A string of sobs spilled out all at once. Ugly and pathetic sobs she could’ve never imagined she’d be letting out in front of anyone. The physical growing pain in her chest like her heart was actually breaking, tugging at the fragile strings until they snapped.

The way Tae held her face even then was soothing, warm and surprisingly soft hands resting on her cheeks. And for a moment she nearly thought she had gotten through to her, “Baby girl, you need to do those things for yourself, not just for me.”

“But I love you!” Rin exclaimed through her waterfall of tears, blurring everything in front of her until she almost couldn’t even make out Tae’s frame. She couldn’t even remember the last time she had said those words, a time in her life that was completely lost to her. And now here she was, screaming them as defense mechanism, hoping they would act as a shield; but they only made her weaker. “I love you… I-I love you- I-”

“Shhhh…” Tae whispered as she tugged the trembling girl forward, almost wincing the moment she practically fell right into her, red face burrowed into her shoulder. Like the first time they had ever met. “Rin, I love you too-”

“Th-Then stay with me!” She knew it was toxic, almost giving her an ultimatum. Her self preservation was kicking in though. The part of her that would completely destroy herself for the people she loved. Her arms tightening for dear life around her, a sick deathgrip, life support that was going to be pulled either way.

“I can’t, baby. I’m doing this because I love you.” Tae ran a gentle hand through her hair, holding the back of her head to her shoulder… and it almost made her sick to know it would be the last time she ever did that. The last time she ever held her… at least for a while. And she caught herself thinking that if the world ended right then and there then she would’ve been okay with it.

But she was coming to terms with it now… the sick realization of the fact that she wasn’t going to get through to her. Or maybe it was the other way around. Rin was the one who couldn’t be reasoned with. Rin was the irrational one, the sick one, the one that couldn’t help but destroy everything that she ever touched. That’s why she was in the DF anyways, she was meant to destroy, meant to neutralize, she was not meant for love. She never was.

Tae must’ve noticed her sudden silence, the suddenly quiet tears; resignation. She still held onto her even as she pulled away, like she was the most fragile thing she had ever touched. How ironic? “Rin, you aren’t losing me, okay? I just… I just need to see you get better… on your own. I can’t be your one and only, and that isn’t your fault and I- I-I hate myself for hurting you like this. But I feel like if I stay I’m just going to hurt you more.”

“I know.” She murmured, voice weak and strained as she shook her head, the glass never once leaving her eyes. “I-I’m really sorry… if I’m the one that screwed this up.”

“It’s not your fault, Rin… you did the best you could. We both did.” Tae added, squeezing Rin’s hands in her own before she pushed herself up to her feet. And there it was again, the pull on her thinning heartstrings. The pull that she was losing. The end. “C’mere, look at me.” She tugged her up to a standing position on shaking legs, not even realizing how completely and totally weak she felt at the hands of this girl. She had the strength of a thousand men whenever it came to fighting kaiju. But now, in front of this girl that wasn’t even as tall or as strong as her, she felt completely and totally helpless.

“You’re not losing me, okay? I’m still here. I’m not disappearing.” Tae placed her delicate hands back against Rin’s cheeks, pressing her body to hers just as they had the first time she had to say goodbye. Only then she knew it was only going to be for a little while. “You still have my number, you can still talk to me, I’m still only 20 minutes away… we’re still going to be friends. You’re not alone, Rin. I promise you, I would never leave you if I knew you were going to be alone.”

“I-I’m trying like hell to believe that.” She cursed underneath her breath, eyes burning almost violently as she squeezed her arms around her. She sounded so bitter but she wanted to feel her. Human touch. It didn’t matter if it was romantic or sexual or any of it. She just wanted to feel human touch without violence. “Y-You saved my life, you know?”

Tae’s expression softened, eyebrows furrowing as if she was biting back the same glassy eyes that Rin had. “You saved mine too, Rin.” She breathed out as she rose up onto her tiptoes to place a soft kiss to her cheek. “I’m going to have people check in on you so don’t do anything stupid, okay? Promise me.” She hesitated before she answered, squeezing her arms around her waist as if it would somehow give her the courage to and actually mean it. “Rin… promise me.” Tae only repeated, and she felt as if she’d keep repeating those two words over and over again until she finally said yes.

Rin took in a heavy breath, briefly letting her eyes flash up to the stars as if she’d find the answers up there somehow. She must have, “O-Okay.” She stammered with a nod, a loose shuddering sob falling from her lips, “I promise.”

Tae hesitated as well, but she didn’t have much time to wait for another promise before the sleek black transportation car pulled up into the parking lot causing Rin’s heart to finally drop. They were out of time. Too late. Another ending she couldn’t do anything to stop, barreling towards her at a rapid pace. Sisyphus letting go of the rock and letting it chase him down the hill instead. But what other possible harm could it do? He was already dead.

“I love you, Rin. I do.” Tae’s words flashed almost violently in her head, letting her hand slip down ever so slightly to press against her chest as she felt the softest press of her lips on hers once more.

“I love you too.” They were still the only words she knew to be true.

.・。.・゜✭・.・✫・゜・。.

Going back to her room afterwards almost felt too impossible. There were cruel reminders of Tae everywhere, indentations in the now cold sheets, pictures stabbed into a cork board, the haunted poems that seemed to be scattered everywhere. One of her shirts even laid draped over the back of her futon, still lingering with her scent, and Rin wondered how long it would be before it finally faded. She didn’t even know if she wanted it to.

No, who was she kidding? She obviously didn’t want it to.

For a moment she had half a mind to forget any promises she made. Throw herself right in the middle of the swarm of imprisoned kaiju they had captured during missions and let them swallow her whole, tear her to pieces, make herself disappear. But no… no, no, no- she had to get a grip, get a hold of herself. God, it had only been a few months. But they were such blissful months. Safe months. But now every place they had ever gone together was tainted. Most of all, her room.

Eventually she pulled herself back inside. Took the stairs all the way up to the top floor and back down to her room and wished the entire time she didn’t have the stamina to withstand the exercise. She wanted her muscles to ache and burn and she wanted her lungs to run out of air until she had to gasp for it. She wanted to be reminded of what it felt like to have had to fight for survival; just to know that she still could.

The first thing she tried to do to put herself back together was to write. Write everything down, even if it’s shit, even if it doesn’t make any sense, spill everything onto the page and leave no stone unturned. But whenever she scrambled for her notebook and a pen and forced herself in front of her desk she found her mind blank. Silent. A dark cavernous hole that she felt she had been abandoned in. A part of her still standing alone in that parking lot, right where she had left her.

She didn’t even know why. It had only been three months. But they were the three happiest months of her entire life. The happiest she had felt since she was appointed platoon leader. Three months, and it was all it took for Tae to become her muse. But what did it mean whenever your muse disappeared. And for once Rin just wished she could finally be the muse. Not just the artist. Hell, if she could even call herself that anymore.

Tae had also kept up her promise to have people check in. Her fellow platoon leaders would pop by, bring her food to make sure she was eating, trying to pull her out of the pit of her bed that she was currently rotting in. All the while using Tae’s shirt as a pillowcase, and then whenever the scent of her eventually faded she would end up waking up screaming at all hours in the night. No heartbeat to calm her down, no pattern of breathing to match her own to, no soft voice to whisper, ‘I’m here, Rin, I’m right here.’ So she found herself pacing the halls like a ghost.

She tried to be nice, she tried to talk to the people who checked on her whenever they did, tried to make friends, form semi normal and healthy relationships, and tried to push down as much shame as she could every time they tugged her sleeve up and scanned her arm to make sure she hadn’t done anything else to herself. Like she was on her own loose version of suicide watch. But Tae had been right about that as well; she still didn’t want to die. Or at very least she still wanted- to want to live.

So whenever she found herself up on the roof of the apartments it was never to actually hurt herself. All it had been was an effort to finally get outside before the walls of her room and the training facility started to close in. (It was easily already to that point though.) From up here she could look at the stars, her new favorite pastime. She could almost pretend she was one. A companion of the constellations. And every time the sun came up she waited and waited and waited for them to come back out.

The sound of the rooftop door opening knocked her from her trance, causing her to blow out a heavy sigh almost in frustration, “Don’t worry, I’m not going to jump.” She spoke monotonously to the culprit as if she had done this a million times. And she had.

“I’d hope not… it’d be largely ineffective from this height.” The familiar voice had her darting upwards with a start, eyes widening in pure embarrassment as she tried to stifle a gasp.

“Shit, c-captain Narumi I- I mean, fuck, sorry- shit, damn it I did it again!” She cursed, the words falling out way too instinctively for her own taste as she covered her red face in embarrassment. “Captain Narumi, I-I’m so sorry. I had no idea it was you.”

“At ease, relax… I’m not here to scold you or- even act like a captain at all honestly. I’m here as a friend.” The words struck at probably the most tender part of her heart as those same pathetic tears started as if on cue. She should’ve known if there was anybody she wasn’t going to be able to hold herself together for it would’ve been Narumi. She had thought that most people barely considered her a friend. Let alone him.

She let her eyes soften for a brief moment as she pushed herself all the way up. It was Narumi, the person she had largely found herself infatuated with from the moment she went on her first mission. The equivalent of an unattainable idol that you still let yourself fawn over the idea of. Her guard was still up though, her guard was always up now as she hugged her knees to her chest and tried to make herself as small as humanly possible. “Why?” She murmured into the cold air, nearly inaudible with the sleeves of her hoodie pulled far past her hands like she wanted to cover every inch of herself.

On a normal day during a normal time she’d typically be appalled at looking like this in front of Narumi… or anyone for that matter. Red, acne riddled cheeks from the crying, purple bags underneath her eyes from the lack of sleep, bloodshot eyes, small, weak, she looked terrible. But she didn’t have the energy to care anymore.

“Because you look like you could use a friend more than you could use a captain.” The words almost felt weird coming from his mouth, even if he was never one to take a ton of his responsibilities seriously or demand respect at every turn. It still felt so out of place. Her eyebrows furrowed once more as she watched him step forward and lower himself down to a sitting position right next to her, long legs stretched out in front of him as he sat back on his hands. “Do you come up here a lot?”

“Every night.” She answered, absentmindedly wringing her hands in front of her knees as she briefly caught her bottom lip in between her teeth. “I ummm, I-I’m really sorry… for how much of a wreck I’ve been this past week. Th-There isn’t an excuse for it, I just- I’m sorry. I-If you need to demote me I totally understand.”

“I just told you I wasn’t here as a captain.” He said with a little roll of his eyes and a shake of his head. “And at any rate you’re not going to be punished for being depressed, you know? I’m not entirely heartless.”

“You demand results though- and I haven’t produced any results.” She gulped a heavy lump down her throat, one that felt like an iron ball just at the thought of admitting any of this to Narumi. But she wasn’t about to sit next to him and lie either. She couldn’t lie to Narumi. “You must’ve had some sort of tip-off to come look for me at any rate. Did she text you? Tell you I went off the rails?”

“Did who text me?”

“My girl- I-I mean, my ex-girlfriend. I-I think that’s what she was at least. We never made it official and I-I guess I just didn’t know how to ask… not the point, sorry.” She winced at her rambles, finally letting herself bury her face into her knees the moment she felt the familiar telltale sting behind her eyes as her arms tightened around her legs. Out of all things she wouldn’t let herself cry in front of him. That was one of the rules she never wanted to compromise… though it looked like she was going to.

“Ashiro texted me actually… said I should check in with my officers more. That they were more than just violent killing machines. I dismissed it at first because I thought it was bullshit but then… I didn’t see you at training for a while, which is supremely not like you. And then whenever I did see you outside of your room you looked like you got hit by a bus which is even more not like you.”

“Wow, thanks.” She finally felt a tearful chuckle coming on rather sarcastically as she picked her head back up to glance back up at the sky, all of the stars blurring together in silver dots.

“I mean, I don’t mean anything by it! If I have a week long depressive episode I look like shit too!”

“Oh now I look like shit?” She exclaimed in mock offense as she shot him a look that immediately had his eyes widening like a deer in headlights.

“No- no, that’s not what I… okay, fine, bad choice of words-”

Rin let out another little snicker as she let her expression soften to at least a mildly amused one, “I’m just fucking with you. I know I look like shit.” She admitted with a tiny huff as she lounged back on her elbows, finally stretching her own legs out in front of her as well. “It’s not like I wasn’t depressed before… I was just- better at hiding it. It was just easier to have people think I was a bitch rather than someone who… actually has a shit ton wrong with her.” She went on, eyes growing glassy for the millionth time. Truth be told she couldn’t remember what it felt like to have dry eyes anymore.

“Why didn’t you tell anybody?” It seemed like a simple enough question from somebody who didn’t fully understand. It was easier to wonder why somebody didn’t reach out for help whenever you didn’t struggle with the same things. It seemed like such a no-brainer for him. But he was lucky in that sense.

“I wasn’t really brought up in an environment where it was acceptable to… you know, do that.” She ran her hands through her short hair with another heavy sigh, switching up to cross her legs. She was fidgety, anxious, but at least she finally felt safe enough to talk. “I’ve had anger issues my whole life. I would get into fights over shit I can’t even remember anymore, I’ve broken my hand way more than once from punching walls. I was… I was a disaster, a ticking time bomb, and my parents couldn’t handle me anymore so whenever I turned 14 they sent me to reform school and- I-I don’t like to talk about that place too much but… b-basically their way of treating mental health was to give you as many drugs that you could handle. Like, enough to suck the life out of you without actually sedating you 24/7 so… I-I was honestly so high for those few years I couldn’t even tell you much.” She sniffled in a way that only disgusted herself as she dug the heels of her hands into her eyes until all she could see was darkness and colorful dots dancing in her vision. “Sorry you- you asked me one question and I just trauma dumped on you-”

“I don’t think it was trauma-dumping. And I think that’s a really stupid term anyways.” He spoke quietly, eyes briefly meeting hers for at least a split second. A subtle understanding passing between the both of them. She knew, after all, what his childhood had been like before the defense force as well. He just hadn’t let it consume him. “I asked, I wanted to hear your side. I still do.”

She took in another small breath, peering down at the half moons embedded into her hand from her chipped nails. “You know I… I was obsessed with you whenever I first got here.” She admitted with an airy chuckle and a shake of her head. “You were this… untouchable guy in his early 20s that had already made captain and I… I wanted to be just like you. I wanted to be strong and brave and… n-not feel like the world is collapsing around me every second. I-I felt like the stronger I got here then I could finally beat this shit, and if you just looked at me for one fucking second and gave me confirmation of that then… I-I would be okay. That- That would fix me.” Those same tears flooded her eyes again, but she made no effort to brush them away and get them to stop. If he wanted to hear her side then he was going to hear all of it.

“So… I-I busted my ass for you. I trained as hard as I possibly could day and night, I stopped sleeping like a normal person, I twisted myself inside and out just to get you to look at me and- i-it worked. I-It finally worked. You appointed me as a platoon leader and it was one of the first times in my life that I was actually happy. I had done something right, for once in my life I had actually done something right. But I- I guess I thought it would’ve lasted longer than it did, you know?” She squeezed her knees back to herself, the part of the story she was most ashamed of, the embarrassment. God, the embarrassment.

“The first year I think I cried every single night. The pressure was a downward spiral, e-every time somebody in my platoon got hurt I’d immediately blame myself because- I’m their leader, you know? They look up to me. I-I was supposed to protect them. I was supposed to keep them safe. If anybody out there is getting hurt it should be me.” Her hand shook as she held it over her mouth as if to muffle the sobs that were finally tearing out of her throat full force.

Narumi’s hand cautiously crept up behind her, slow and careful before he could lay a hand that he had at least hoped was comforting on her back. The first gentle touch caused her to flinch, breath hitching in her throat as she stole a tearful look back at him. It was so out of place, so out of character she almost wanted to shy away just like she had the first time Tae had touched her. But god she had missed it, human contact, she had missed it so bad.

“You do, Rin… you do protect them. You’re a better leader than you think. That's why I appointed you.” She let her eyes squeeze shut as if it’d help staunch the incessant flow of tears. She didn’t realize how much hearing those words from him of all people would have an affect on her, even now. Even years later after she had gotten everything she wanted it seemed like. “But… Rin, if you don’t want to be a platoon leader anymore I’m not gonna force you- we can figure something out-”

“No- n-no, I want this… I want this more than anything, I do it’s just- I don’t want to feel like- like this anymore.” She spoke through another quiet sob she kept muffling into her hand. “I-I don’t know what’s wrong with me. I- I miss her s-so fucking bad.” There it was, the true pathetic reason for the breakdown, the thing at the very center of everything. The death of her fantasy that forced her to confront every single demon she was trying to shove away instead of fighting.

“I know.” His words were quiet, they weren’t mocking or layered with thinly veiled insinuations to get a grip. They were so soft that they barely even sounded like Narumi at all. She screwed her eyes shut once more as she felt his arm sliding further around her back, breath hitching as he pulled her just the slightest bit closer. Slow and cautious movements, giving her time to process and pull away if she really wanted to. But god no, she didn’t want to at all. It was a different kind of warmth than whenever Tae held her. It wasn’t a romantic warmth at all, more so what she imagined having a protective older brother would feel like.

Her breathing came out in short and shaking bursts as she let her body slump against him with her head against his shoulder. She almost hated how small she probably felt to him. Hated that out of all the officers in the first division that she was the one breaking down and losing every sense of her composure… right in front of him. And he was letting her. “You know it’s almost funny, I spent my whole time here busting my ass and trying to get stronger for you… just for you to notice me, just look at me… something. But now you’re the one person that’s seeing me at my weakest.”

“I don’t think crying necessarily makes you weak- it’s not like you let yourself cry in front of other people a lot.” He brushed off with the light touch of soothing circles being rubbed against her back. “And you can say it’s because of a situationship breakup all you want to- but I know it’s more than that.”

“Please get out of my head.” She grumbled a bit through her silent tears that were probably soaking through his jacket. Though he only responded with a light snicker.

“Listen, I have a little sister so I’m pretty good at comforting crying girls.” He said with a minuscule little shrug, he made no motion to shrug her off though, and she made no motion to move. Not yet at least. “I’m… look, I- I’m really sorry, Rin. If I ever made you feel like you weren’t enough or- if I caused any of this-”

“It’s not your fault. You couldn’t have known… I worked really hard to get you to not know actually.” She spoke through a small sniffle, fingers absentmindedly tracing out the scattered scars along her arms that were slowly healing but weren’t going to fade any time soon.

“You shouldn’t have had to though.” Narumi frowned with a shake of his head just before Rin could feel him leaning it against her own. “So… why the stars?” He wondered, still seeming like he was tiptoeing around every new question, but still trying to make up for all the lost time he could’ve been talking to her. Helping her. Actually making her feel safe rather than worthless.

She let out a weak tearful snicker before slowly picking her head up from his shoulder, “Have you ever actually taken a second to look at them before?” She wondered before letting herself lounge back once more so she could face them again. “The DF bases are one of the only places you can see them in Tokyo, there’s too much light pollution everywhere else. But because most of the bases are solar powered… there’s less artificial light, which means- less pollution, which then means- more stars.” She explained, already feeling a little smile tugging on the corners of her lips before she could pat the ground next to her. “C’mon, lay back, you’ll see what I mean.”

“Never been something I really thought about, I guess. I’m usually-”

“Yelling at a 13 year old in the Call of Duty lobby?” She giggled as she glanced over at him with a raised eyebrow once he laid backwards.

“Hey! I’m a ‘public figure’ for your information, so I could never bully a kid on live chat. I’d get cancelled for sure!” He exclaimed as if it was the most obvious thing in the world, but it actually only made her burst into laughter, tears almost completely dry somehow.

“Look up.” She voiced, pointing her finger towards the sky as she seemed to trace the different lines of familiar constellations. “Do you see that super bright star there? The one that seems bigger than everything else? That’s Jupiter.”

“That’s…” He began, holding his hands up to his eyes while squinting as if trying to make it out. “No way! That’s an entire planet? That tiny thing?!”

“Well, it’s over 476 million miles away! And it’s the largest out of all the nine planets.” She rambled on almost proudly as she continued to let her eyes scan across the sky, mapping out new constellations and searching for other planets and various nebulas. “Things don’t hurt as much whenever I’m looking at the stars. Because then I remember how small all of us are actually… and the smallest little dot up there could contain an entire galaxy. So how significant are my problems, in all honesty?” She took in another heavy breath, eyes so far off in the distance that she could’ve been light-years away by now. “I-If I’m rambling too much then tell me-”

“No, no way- this is the most I’ve ever heard you talk before. Keep going.” He urged, the slightest amount of heat creeping up into her cheeks. He actually wanted to listen to her, it felt so unfounded to her. Yet it somehow wasn’t.

“So…” She began, proceeding forward almost nervously as she inched up one of her hoodie sleeves. “I was born with these weird freckles, right? Just super scattered around everywhere in random places, they weren’t in any clusters or anything. They almost seemed kind of uniform in a way.” She went on, lifting the same arm and trailing a finger along one of the familiar freckle paths. And to her surprise he seemed to be hanging on to every bit of it. “Anyways, I always hated them because they weren’t super common in Japan and naturally at that age I thought anything that was different was bad so… in order to get me to not hate them my mom started telling me that I was made from stardust- and they were just, leftover pieces from the sky.”

“Geez…” He spoke with a little huff, one that seemed to contain genuine interest as he cautiously stretched a hand over to trace along some of the lines, “They kind of do look like constellations actually.”

“Tae said that too.” She remarked, already feeling her smile fading ever so slightly before she gulped another lump of emotion down her throat and worked her sleeve back down her arm. “Sorry I- I keep talking about her. The way I’ve been acting you’d honestly think she’s dead but- but she’s not and I’m literally going to see her next week for joint platoon leader training and- fuck, I didn’t think about that.”

“Well, do you want to see her?” He questioned as he pushed himself to sit up.

“No… I-I mean, I do but-” she stifled a groan as she smacked a hand over her face. “Not like this.”

“So- I’ll tell them you’re sick then.” Narumi spoke with a casual shrug as he shoved himself back up to his feet, extending a hand to help her up as well. “You have a super contagious flesh eating bacteria that-”

“Why don’t we just stick with the flu? Even though my face easily looks like a flesh eating bacteria could’ve gotten to it.” She grimaced at the thought before slipping her hand into Narumi’s and letting him pull her up next. She could only feel her heart plummeting afterwards though at the realization she was trying ultimately to forget about. “I… guess you have to take me to psych now, don’t you?”

Narumi let out a sad little sigh as Rin connected her eyes to the ground, as if in shame all over again. “I don’t think I’d be a very good captain… or friend, if I didn’t at least try and get you some help.” Rin’s breath was shaky as she nodded, silent resignation while that same sting behind her eyes crept back up with an angry vengeance. Narumi’s own heavy breath that followed though was enough to get her to glance up right as she felt his hands gripping her upper arms. “But Rin, this isn’t something you have to be ashamed about though. That doesn’t mean there’s anything wrong with you or you’re broken and you need to be fixed or… anything like that. You deserve to get help, just like anybody else. And not for me, or Tae, or the defense force, or anybody else either… for you. Purely, entirely for you.”

Her eyes felt like they were turning to glass at the sudden influx of tears, arms going from being wrapped around herself at some futile attempt at self soothing to finally feeling comfortable enough to wrap around him. She was still fighting not to cry, not to let another string of tears out into his shirt as she cried in his arms. She never wanted to have to cry in someone else’s arms ever again. But for now… maybe she’d allow herself this for now.

“I don’t know if I’ve ever actually done anything for myself before that didn’t end like this.” She sniffled as she tucked her face into his shoulder. “I-I’m so sorry I’ve been such a shitty platoon leader lately.”

“We all do the best with what we’re given.” He stated, arms curling around her as well as she felt him rubbing those same soothing circles into her back. “Just get better, take better care of yourself… and then I’ll overlook all of it.”

She blew out another heavy sigh that was riddled in emotion as she nodded against him. “Okay.”

“Good.” Narumi gave her one last tiny squeeze before finally letting the two of them pull away, only to offer up his arm like a gentleman causing the smallest smile to tug on her lips, “C’mon, I’ll walk with you and stay with you as long as I can.”

She nodded once more, breathing trying to stay steady as she slipped her own arm into the crook of his elbow and let him slowly lead her towards the entrance. “Thanks Narumi, for everything.”

.・。.・゜✭・.・✫・゜・。.

-Three Months Later-

She wasn’t going to act like it got better overnight. Recovery was an endlessly long and winding road that she never really quite saw the end of. But if for once it would lessen the aches and pains that seemed to always grow in her chest whenever her mind started to wander then she would take it. She would keep fighting. Forever if she had to. Because she was worth that.

She didn’t quite know whenever the friends started coming into play, just that at some point she started trying to actually eat dinner in the mess hall rather than holed up in her room. And one day Narumi trotted his way in and plopped down at the same table across from her and with that the rest of the officers seemed to file right in. At first it was hard to trust people because she thought they were only there to get closer to Narumi. But eventually things didn’t start to feel like too much of a threat anymore. Like life wasn’t entirely out to get her.

As for the other side of things however, the elephant in the room, one of the first times she ever saw Tae again was months later. She had largely tried to avoid her during group training, not wanting to fall back on what felt like a lifetime of recovery. Afraid to allow herself to miss her for even one second longer. The one time she couldn’t avoid her though was the quarterly eastern division conference. Whenever the cold weather had long since passed and spring was finally starting to set in.

Three months and she was finally starting to get color back into her face. Three months and the deep gashes in her arm were slowly fading to be just shadows. Three months and here she was, finally not hiding around every corner and instead sat at one of the tables in the courtyard surrounded by the sea of 1st and 3rd division bickering officers. Rivalry still alive and well.

Her eyes trailed on Narumi and Hoshina mostly, the smallest little smirk tugged on her face as she listened to the two argue. Even though she was one of the only ones to know that he only bickered with him so much because he was loosely trying to avoid catching feelings of his own. He denied it, but she believed he was already long past that. She actually knew things about people now. They actually trusted her, with more than just their lives on the battlefield, they trusted her with their secrets too.

At any rate though she was hardly paying attention, sat back with her elbows against the table and head tilted back like she was tracking the clouds. The casual uniform of the DF unzipped with the standard white t-shirt underneath just to feel the breeze. Until she heard something that caught her ear a bit more than the usual cat fight did. “The only title your first platoon leader’s gonna have is the ‘Whore of the Defense Force.’” She hardly needed to look up to see who it was directed towards, eyebrows furrowing as she peered downwards from the sky and let her eyes scan the shocked faces of her own division and the laughs and jeers from the third.

“That’s too far!” Narumi practically growled, the first time she had ever really seen him entirely 100% angry. She watched the hands of her other platoon leaders dart forward to hold him back before her eyes found the amused ones of the culprit.

“The hell did you just call her?!” Another familiar voice rang out through the crowd, meanwhile she stayed lounged backwards with the same bored expression on her face besides the quirk of one of her eyebrows lifting. Though she could only feel her own lips upturning in a small smile the moment she saw that same pink head of hair emerging forward, fist drawn and slamming into the face of one of her own officers. “And if Ashiro asks about your new black eye I’ll make sure she knows exactly how you earned it too.”

“Whore of the Defense Force? How old are you? Twelve?” She tried to brush off with a little roll of her eyes. However that same pinkened flare began to spread on her cheeks occupied by the same feeling of that little clench in her chest the moment Tae whipped around to finally face her. A little grin of her own forming on her lips next. “Just whenever I thought you weren’t going to be my knight in shining armor anymore.” She teased lightly as Tae waltzed her way over towards her with a shy flush on her own cheeks.

“Old habits die hard, I guess.” She chuckled lightly, gesturing towards the empty spot next to Rin as if to ask for permission. Her heart only swelling the moment she nodded in response. “How have you been?”

“I think, oddly enough, I'm a lot better.” Rin admitted as she glanced down at her hands clasped in her lap. It felt so weird to say at first, like she didn’t know who she was without her pain, or that she was just sitting… waiting for the catch, waiting to find out what else was wrong. It definitely scared her, but for now she was content to just enjoy feeling normal, for once in her life. “I was in the hospital for a couple weeks after Narumi took me to psych just to, you know, try and get regulated. And then I started seeing a therapist multiple times a week, started working with a psychiatrist and found out that the neurotransmitters in my brain were actually supremely out of whack.” She explained with a little chuckle that thankfully Tae echoed with one of her own.

“Even I could’ve told you that.” She snickered, her own hands almost twitching as she sat with her elbows resting on the table, twitching as if they wanted to reach out to Rin’s. “For what it’s worth… I’m really proud of you though. And I wish I could’ve been there. I know you probably needed me and-”

“Hey, no… don’t do that.” Rin whispered in a softened voice, and it felt like forever that she had been waiting to be the one to comfort her for once. Reaching out to place a soft hand against her cheek as she tucked a stray strand of pink hair behind her ear, and she felt that same clench in her chest whenever she felt Tae instinctively leaning into it. “Don’t beat yourself up for that, you did what you had to do. You saved me, multiple times, not just that one time in the bathroom.”

Tae let the smallest smile tug on her lips, finally letting herself lift up a hand to place over top of Rin’s, the familiarity of their fingers sliding together perfectly. “You saved me too.” She murmured with a little sigh as she carefully pulled Rin’s hand towards her lips, brushing the softest kiss against her knuckles that finally didn’t look so bruised. “And I missed you like hell… honestly, I-I kept not seeing you at training and- a-always kept thinking of the worst-” She admitted, the slightest quiver creeping into her voice causing Rin’s expression to only grow softer as she slid an arm around her shoulders.

“Hey, come here.” This time it was Tae’s turn to finally fall into Rin’s arms, letting out a heavy and shaking sigh into her shoulder that seemed like she was holding back so much more. “I’ve got you… I’m right here. I’m not going anywhere, baby.” She whispered, letting her arm curl around her head to hold her right against her shoulder, running her fingers through her soft pink hair.

Tae only let a few tears out, she was never one for crying in front of people either but Rin always had a habit of bringing out her soft spot… just like it was vice versa. “Ummm, I… I know we can’t do the whole girlfriend thing anymore but- maybe… maybe I could still see you and- we could be friends?” She questioned, only squeezing Rin tighter right whenever she thought she was going to pull away. “Like, actual friends? Not friends with benefits or like, those exes that say they’re gonna be friends but then never speak again.”

Rin let out a tiny little giggle as she placed a soft kiss to the side of her head, “I think… I’d like that.” She spoke with a tiny smile, not letting herself pull away until she felt Tae’s grip loosening, and even then she kept her hands placed softly against her cheeks. “Best friends and rivals?”

“Deal.” Tae flushed, hands settled against her waist, curled into the fabric of her jacket. “Besides, I was kind of missing you kicking my ass in joint training anyways.” She chuckled lightly as she let herself blow out a heavy sigh of relief while resting her head against Rin’s shoulder.

“Hey, you’ve gotta give yourself more credit than that… I didn’t always kick your ass. It was a solid 60:40 ratio.” Rin remarked as she leaned against hers, softly sliding her fingers through Tae’s as well.

“More like 75:25… and I really need you to go harder on me this year too because these rookies are fucking insane. And I’m not just talking about their personalities either.” She huffed almost nervously, and for a moment Rin nearly saw an old part of herself within her. The part of herself just six months ago that would send herself into fits if she ever even thought about being stuck at where she was at.

She never wanted Tae to ever once have to feel that way. So as long as she was alive, she was going to make sure she never did.

“Damn, it’s really the people who are the greatest that’re the hardest on themselves, isn’t it?” She repeated the same words Tae had said to her right back at her, and with just the quickest glance down at her while she squeezed her hand it almost looked like she was holding back tears.

They held that position for just a while longer, the rest of the world almost seeming to fade away. The courtyard had long since cleared, and they were probably supremely late to whatever official event was next. But she was okay with it. She’d take the worst punishment in the entire world if it meant she could make Tae feel just as safe as she had made her feel. It was all worth it. It would all be worth it. She had to believe that.

Ultimately the sound of someone clearing their throat from behind them caused the two to pop up with glowing red cheeks as they whipped around to face their two captains. Before they could even stammer out conjoined apologies though Mina only let out a tiny chuckle and held up a hand as if to tell the two to relax, “At ease, I think you two are adorable. But-”

“We can only let you two take so much of a private personal ‘break’ before the higher-higher ups start to bitch at us.” Narumi blurted out immediately causing Mina to let out a little groan as she rolled her eyes.

“Sorry captains, we’ll uhhh- we’ll go ahead and head back.” Tae remarked, cheeks still as red as roses as she stood up to extend a hand to help Rin up to her feet as well.

“Nakanoshima, should I, by any chance, arrange an extra car to pick you up from Ariake instead of you coming back with the rest of us tonight?” Mina wondered smoothly as she let her eyes sweep between the two platoon leaders with a knowing little smirk.

“Ummm… I-I mean I-” Tae looked like she could’ve melted right then and there as she shot a nervous look towards Rin, squeezing her arm as if to ask silent permission.

“Yeah, th-that would be amazing.” Rin said with a bright smile forming on her face, already seeing one just as big tugging on Tae’s as well.

“I can do that.” Mina added with another quiet snicker before glancing back towards Narumi. “You two go ahead and head back, I wanna talk to Shinonome in private for a second.”

“O-Oh…” Rin stammered as she could already feel her heart plummeting, Tae giving her arm just the smallest reassuring squeeze next before slipping away once she got her nod of approval, “You’re good, I’ll catch up with you later.”

“She’s not in trouble, you guys can relax.” Mina reassured the two, earning a few sighs in relief in response as Tae and Narumi began to make their way back inside and while Rin let a hand fly to her chest with a grateful sigh as well. “Geez, I don’t know why everybody thinks I’m gonna yell at them the second I ask them to talk to me.”

“With all due respect, Captain, you are a little bit scary.” Rin admitted with her nervous little flush growing.

“My wife’s even scarier.” She remarked with another little chuckle. “Anyways… I really just wanted to check in with you and see how you were doing because I know you’ve kind of been hiding for the past few months?” As usual… she didn’t miss a beat.

“Guilty.” Rin admitted with an embarrassed little sigh as she anxiously chewed on her bottom lip. “In my defense though I was in the hospital for at least two of those weeks and then Narumi had me benched from missions for at least two more months which really wasn’t fun but… I-I think as much as I hate to admit it I needed it.”

“You know, I think that might just be the most difficult thing for all of us officers to admit… whenever we need a break or we need help or- anything like that. So in a way you’re better than a lot of us.” Her expression softened, a rare side of Mina that not a ton of people really saw. Rin had seen it occasionally, in passing glances during joint training or conferences, she always seemed to be checking in on her. Even whenever she herself was trying to convince herself that nothing was wrong. “I also wanted to say that I’m really proud of you.”

Rin’s hormones must have been way out of whack, because that would be the only thing to explain why every nice thing coming from anybody’s mouth made her feel like she was going to cry. In a way she felt like it was a release, the freedom to cry whenever and in front of whoever she wanted to. But also, for the longest time she had only cried because she was in pain, because she was angry… but deep down all of that anger was just simply thinly disguised pain. “Thank you, Captain Ashiro… that- that means… so much coming from you. Your division’s really lucky to have you.” She said with a loosely tearful smile just as she felt Mina gently laying a comforting hand on her upper arm.

“I think whenever you become captain your division’s going to be really lucky to have you too. And I have no doubt that you will one day… become captain.” Mina voiced with that same encouraging little smile, and if anything was going to cause her to break down it was that. “But- because I know healing isn’t linear and things aren’t going to be perfect 24/7, I want you to know that you can talk to me. About anything, any time… don’t be afraid to reach out, okay? Promise me?”

Rin’s vision was a blurry mess at this point, sniffling and nodding as she tried to blink away the tears that were finally ones of relief. “C-Can I hug you?” She wondered with a shaking hand that she lifted to try and wipe at her eyes.

She didn’t think those fiery eyes of Mina’s had ever looked so gentle before as she nodded, “Of course, you don’t have to ask.”

“Thank you… thank you, thank you.” She repeated those same two words, wondering if there would ever be a time where they would ever be enough. Even though she knew there wouldn’t be. She owed them everything, Tae, Narumi, Mina, every single one of her fellow platoon leaders. They had saved her. In every sense of the word. The tiniest sob fell from her throat the moment she wrapped her arms around her, hiding her face in her shoulder as she felt Mina tugging her in as well. “For- For everything, thank you… you saved my life. You all did.”

“Hey, you gotta give yourself a little bit of credit too. You saved your own life too, and that’s the most important life you’re ever going to save.” Mina remarked as she gently rubbed those same soothing circles into her back.

They stood in that hug for a while, Mina’s only care in the entire world at that moment being to take care of whoever needed it the most. Rin absolutely hated that she was that person, but she was getting more okay with admitting it. She was absolutely screwed up, incredibly neurotic, with the abandonment issues of the century. But she was trying. She was trying her absolute hardest. And for now she was okay with that.

A/N: I’M FREEEEEEE I’M FINALLY FREE… and unsure of what to do with myself because i’ve seriously put an ungodly amount of myself into this 😅 however that being said i am HARDLY done writing rin & her future gf’s story yet so please stay tuned!!

i know i’ve asked about a million times BUT i’ve been sort of vague on how so if you DO want to be added to a taglist of my future kn8 content please shoot me a comment below saying that you do 🫶 i don’t want to bug anybody so i won’t add anybody unless you let me know it’s okay! (sorry if i’m being annoying about that i just have anxiety and will most likely be tagging you in nsfw stuff occasionally and don’t want to do that if it makes anyone uncomfortable 😭) (also should go without saying too but because of the same reasons 18+ ONLY PLEASE!) ANYWAYS i really hope you loved this absolute conglomerate of a prequel! 🩵

Credits: divider by @strangergraphics

Taglist: @iceclew @genxnarumi

Network Tag: @pixelcafe-network 🤎

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hayleythesugarbowl · 2 years ago

Note

HEYYYYY it’s been awhile since I’ve asked for something and I thought today I would like to have some more Angela stuff I’m not gonna be picky about it just give me something to feed on and I’ll be happy I was hoping a nice long story that’s all I got for you you can write on it when you feel like it or have the time thanks :))) hope your doing well and have a nice rest of the week ;)

Second Chances || Angela Giarratana x reader

⋆ ˚｡⋆୨୧˚ masterlist • smosh masterlist ⋆ ˚｡⋆୨୧⋆

summary: when the smosh cast goes on a company retreat and you and angela are forced to share a hotel room you have the opportunity to rekindle an old romance

word count: 3.3k

warnings: none

a/n: hey!! hope this is what you wanted, i just kinda had this idea and ran with it and i had to include the one bed trope because c’mon. also fem!reader like all of my other angela fics. anyways enjoy!! 💌💋

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~°~❦~°~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

“Everyone say vacation!”

Courtney smiled as they took a group photo of you and everyone else at Smosh. You grinned, looking forward to the time away from work and daily life.

You and the rest of the cast had all flown to a sunny beach town for a week-long company retreat and you now stood in front of a large, bustling resort taking in the warm air, the pinkish glow of the now-setting sun, and sounds of laughter and shouting.

“Alright everyone, we’re going to have to share rooms because apparently this place is busy this time of year and someone forgot to check availability,” Ian announced, turning to his best friend.

“Why are you looking at me?” Anthony said.

Everyone began discussing who they wanted to bunk with—Shayne moving to stand closer to Damien, Courtney and Olivia linking hands, and Anthony and Ian were already discussing who would sleep in the bed closest to the window—and you watched as everyone paired off. You turned to find Angela next to you.

“So, everyone’s paired up…what do you say? Roomies?” She asked.

“Roomies,” you answered, trying to smile. Of course, just your luck. You were glad, in a way—you didn’t want to start your vacation off not finding someone to share with and be stuck feeling like this was middle school all over again—but you couldn’t decide which was worse, that or having to share a room with your ex for the whole week. You figured Angela would have felt the same way.

You were over Angela. You thought. You two had dated for the better part of 6 months but you had ultimately decided your relationship was better off as strictly coworkers a couple of months ago. You had both had your part in the relationship failing and you recognized that things were better off this way. But you couldn’t keep away the nagging part of you in the back of your mind that constantly thought what if? What if you had made a mistake ending it? What if your story wasn’t over?

You pushed those thoughts away—they were no use to you now—and tried to focus on getting though this week without any uncomfortable experiences.

You were brought out of your thoughts by your party moving towards the resort and you quickly hurried to catch up with them. You saw Angela glance back at you but you ignored it and the feeling you got in your chest as she did so.

You all found your rooms relatively easily after a long trip up many stairs—of course the elevators were out of order for service this week—and many of them were on the same floor. You walked towards the door of your room and slid the keycard in.

Small. The first thought you had as you walked into your and Angela’s room some hours later was that it was incredibly small for a five star resort hotel. You figured since they were so booked it must have been all they had.

Which explained why there was only one space that doubled as a bedroom and a living area, one closet, and, you realized with horror, one bed.

You heard Angela come up behind you.

“This is it,” you gestured to the room.

“Where’s the rest of it?” She asked, stepping in and looking around.

You set down your suitcase and sighed as Angela glanced around, her eyes landing on the bed.

“I’ll sleep on the floor,” Angela offered.

“Angela, I can’t let you do that. I’ll sleep on the floor.”

Angela threw up her hands. “So, we’ll both sleep on the floor then.”

“Doesn’t that seem like a waste of a perfectly good bed?” You asked.

“I wouldn’t say perfectly good,” Angela mumbled, “I’ve seen documentaries about how they don’t wash those.”

You rolled your eyes at her internally, but you had to try not to smile. It wasn’t the first time you’d heard this spiel.

“Well, someone has to sleep in it,” you said.

Angela pulled at a strand of her hair. You looked at your shoes. This was ridiculous. You could be adults about this. What was the harm if you and Angela shared the bed? There wasn’t anything weird between you. You were…acquaintances, weren’t you?

Before you could change your mind you said, “We could share it.”

That got Angela’s attention.

“I mean, there’s no reason why we cant, right?” You added. The words even though we broke up were left unspoken between you.

“Of course not,” Angela said but she looked like she would rather sleep on the floor.

You figured this whole thing must be awkward for her too. Of course, you knew she had moved on from you. You had no doubt of that. But still, you assumed sharing a bed with your ex had to be uncomfortable for everyone, right?

Either way, it was settled and so a few minutes later you found yourself climbing into bed with Angela on the other side of you, careful to keep your back to her and your body as close to your edge as possible.

The last thing you remembered before you drifted off to sleep was hearing Angela’s snores and thinking that you were right back where you were a few months ago.

₊˚ ✧ ‿︵‿୨୧‿︵‿ ✧ ₊˚

When you woke up Angela was already out of bed and you breathed a sigh of relief that you didn’t have to face her and could avoid a potentially awkward situation. At least that was something, you thought, as you made yourself get out of bed at what you thought was far too early a time to start a day on vacation.

You heard the water water running and decided you would shower that night rather than cross Angela in the bathroom. You threw on the first pair of pants you found in your suitcase and began looking through tops in the closet. You finally settled on one and had just taken off your pajama shirt when something made you pause and you stopped moving as you heard a familiar sound.

Angela was singing in the shower. You instinctively took a step closer to the bathroom. She was singing some show tune that you didn’t recognize but the sound was so familiar, so comfortable that you felt as if you’d heard the song before.

You took another step closer. It was a quiet sound, but her voice grew louder as you stood outside the bathroom door and all you could think of was that it was beautiful.

You didn’t know why this was affecting you so much. Probably because it reminded you of when you and Angela were you and Angela. You’d heard her sing plenty of times when you were together. In fact, she’d always made you sing with her so she didn’t hyperventilate trying to sing all of Non-Stop. You’d say you had a lousy voice and she’d tell you the angels were jealous of the way you sounded. You stopped yourself before you got lost in the memory.

Unfortunately, you didn’t stop yourself in time to hear Angela’s shower water turn off or her singing stop.

You were made aware of this by the door opening and nearly hitting you in the face. Angela looked as shocked to see you as you were to come face to face with her.

“(Y/n), what are you—”

She cut off and her eyes widened as she looked at you. You caught your reflection in the mirror of the bathroom and you immediately understood why. You had forgotten that you were in the process of changing when you had stopped to listen to Angela.

You now stood in your pants with your shirt in your hand and nothing but your bra on top—you praised all that was good and holy that you had been too tired to take it off last night before you went to bed—and you stood there in shock. You quickly covered your chest with your shirt but it was too late. The damage had already been done.

Angela stared at you and you couldn’t read her expression. Surprised? Annoyed? That had to be it, you supposed you wouldn’t be too happy either if you got out of the shower to find someone half-naked lingering outside your bathroom.

“Angela, I’m sorry, I was just—” You tried, but she interrupted.

“It’s ok, bathroom’s all yours,” she said, stepping past you and looking at the ground. You figured it was in your best interest to go along and pretend that you had been waiting for the bathroom so you just stepped in and locked the door, trying not to notice how the room smelled like her. Like her perfume, her conditioner, everything that you remembered from before. You looked at your weary reflection in the mirror.

It’s going to be a long vacation, you told your reflection, but all it did was stare back at you.

₊˚ ✧ ‿︵‿୨୧‿︵‿ ✧ ₊˚

The next day passed in flashes of beaches and gift shops and avoiding Angela. You had been having fun, or trying to really, despite your living situation.

Things with Angela were especially awkward after that morning. What was wrong with you?

I am over Angela.

And that became your mantra. As you watched her laugh and talk with all of your cast mates. As you tried not to stare at her and her adorable blue bikini. And especially as you dreaded that night and the horrors it would inevitably bring. At least with everyone else around you could safely navigate your vacation without really having to interact with her. But then you would have to go back to your room and back to your bed and you didn’t know if you could take it. Maybe you were wrong about being able to be perfectly fine with this.

I am over Angela.

And maybe if you said it enough times you’d actually believe it.

“(Y/n), did you hear me?” Angela tapped you on the shoulder.

“Oh, no sorry, what?” You asked, dazed.

“I just asked if you wanted a snow cone, I was going to buy us some,” she gestured to a stand a few hundred feet away.

“Oh, no thank you,” you answered and all you could think of was her touch on your arm.

You were doomed.

“(Y/n), are you ok?” You felt someone come up beside you and you turned around. Arasha was looking at you with a concerned expression on her face. “You’ve been acting weird all day.”

You supposed you had. “Oh, I’m just tired, that’s all.”

You risked a glance at Angela and Arasha just nodded but you didn’t think she believed you.

After that, everyone started to part ways and go off to explore the city on their own.

Amanda turned back to you from where she and Shayne were standing. “You coming with?”

“I’ll catch up,” you called. You weren’t in any hurry. You stopped to look in the window of a cute little candle shop. There was no reason you couldn’t enjoy your vacation on your own. You were glad of the peace and quiet for a moment.

“Hey, where’d everybody go?” Angela ran up to you with a tray full of snow cones. You shrugged.

“That’s the last time I do anything nice for those lousy—”

You let out a chuckle. She smiled at you and it was impossible for you not to smile back.

“So, any place you particularly wanna see?” Angela gestured around as she began eating a snow cone. She held one out to you and you took it.

“Nothing in particular,” you answered honestly.

“Well, then we can see nothing together,” she began walking and you kept pace with her.

This was good, you thought. Just a nice, casual walk around the city with Angela like two coworkers would do.

You made small talk about your job and the things around you and it was easy enough. Angela talked enough for the both of you, so you just piped in when necessary and kept your eyes firmly on the snow cone in your hand. Which was probably why you didn’t see the pole in front of you.

“(Y/n), watch out!” Angela jumped in front of you, throwing down the tray of snow cones, and pulled you out of the way just before your forehead connected with the metal pole.

Your heavy breathing had nothing to do with the near-accident that had almost occurred. Angela gripped your sides tightly and you were closer to her than you had been in a while. For a moment you two just looked at each other before you pulled away and mumbled a quick “thanks”.

You were debating wether or not to say more when Chanse walked out of a shop in front of you and fell in to step with Angela. She looked back at you briefly before continued again and as you walked behind them you repeated the only thing keeping you sane.

I am over Angela. I am over Angela. I am over Angela.

₊˚ ✧ ‿︵‿୨୧‿︵‿ ✧ ₊˚

By the time you got back to your hotel room it was late and all you wanted to do was fall asleep and not think about Angela or this day. You were just about to climb into bed when you realized that someone was already there.

Angela. She must have gotten back before you and was already asleep. You paused a moment to watch her sleeping form—she looked so calm and peaceful—before slipping in to your side of the bed, staying as far away from her as possible. You shivered under the sliver of blankets that you had—Angela had wrapped them all around her. You supposed it wouldn’t be the end of the world if you scooted a tiny bit towards Angela in order to be covered by the warm sheets. It wasn’t exactly comfortable, but it would do, you thought. Your eyelids began to droop as you shivered again. Maybe if you just…shifted… a little…towards…

…Angela. You awoke that morning and the first thing you saw was Angela. Her head was on your chest and your arms were over her back. Your initial horror dissolved into contentment as she nestled her head into you in her sleep and her hair tickled your collarbone. She felt warm in your arms and you didn’t want her to wake up quite yet. Because she wouldn’t be doing this is if she were conscious. You knew you should just sneak out from under Angela and out of bed before she woke up and found you like this but you couldn’t make yourself.

Because as you lay here like this with your ex-girlfriend you couldn’t seem to remember why you broke up. This felt right. You knew you could never say any of this to Angela—she’d moved on from you like you’d failed to do with her. Because you realized then that you weren’t over Angela.

You felt Angela begin to stir and you tried to move your body out from under hers but you only got about halfway when she opened her eyes and blinked at you.

“(Y/n)?” She took in your close proximity and her head in your chest. She sat up and rubbed her eyes. Her voice was gravely from sleep as she said, “Well, I guess we were cold last night.”

You nodded and let yourself pretended that was it.

“I’m going to go get us some more towels,” you said, standing up and walking towards the door. You didn’t even bother putting on a robe or clothes and figured you’d take your chances wearing your pajamas in the hall rather than staying in here with Angela.

Once you were out of the room you leaned up against the door and took a deep breath. Your cheeks were hot and you ran a hand through your messy hair.

“(Y/n), what are you doing?”

It was Arasha. She walked towards you from a room down the hallway and you met her in the middle.

“Getting some air,” you said, “You?”

“Couldn’t sleep” she answered and you looked out a window, seeing the dark sky and realizing it was earlier than you thought. Probably no later than 5:30 in the morning.

“Are you ok, really?” She asked hesitantly when you didn’t answer.

You sighed. What was the harm in telling her really? She knew you and Angela had dated. Everyone did. She could probably guess on her own; maybe she already had.

“It’s Angela,” you admitted. “I thought sharing a room with her would be fine since it’s been a couple months since we broke up but it’s not fine.”

Arasha frowned, “You’re not on good terms? I thought you two stayed friends after your breakup.”

“No, it’s not that,” you said, swallowing. “I—I think I’m still in love with her.”

Arasha’s eyes widened and you fumbled for words.

“Everything she does reminds me of how things used to be and I’ve tried to keep my distance and remind myself why we’re not together anymore but none of those reasons really seem compelling anymore and I know it’s a bad idea and it could never happen but—”

Arasha put a hand in your shoulder, interrupting you. “I think if you really love her, then tell her. What’s the worst that could happen?”

“I could make things more awkward than they already are?” You bit your bottom lip.

“If worst comes to worst, you can stay with me. Amanda snores anyway.” She laughed and you joined her, grateful for her help and advice.

“So does Angela,” you remarked fondly, “Thanks, Arash, I appreciate it. I’ll find a way to tell her. I just don’t know what she’ll say.”

“I think she’ll say that she completely agrees with you.”

You spun around at the sound of Angela’s voice.

“Angela, I—”

She put up a hand. “I heard everything. I was going to ask you to bring up some muffins with you.”

Arasha backed up. “I’ll catch you guys later.” She gave you an encouraging smile as she went back into her room and left you and Angela alone in the hall.

You said, “Angela—”

At the same time as she said, “I love you too, (Y/n).”

“I didn’t mean—wait, what? You do?” You stared at her in shock.

“I still love you. Actually, I never stopped loving you,” she said, more quietly now. She looked so vulnerable then and you wanted to reach out to her but you didn’t.

“But we said we were better off as coworkers, as—”

Angela shrugged, “And how’s that working for us?”

You thought about the way this week was going so far for you and realized you hadn’t even considered that Angela felt the same way. That everything was just as hard for her as it was for you. If this trip had taught you anything it was that some things—some people—were worth second chances.

You closed the distance between her and kissed her. Kissed her like you’d been waiting to kiss her for thousands of years. In a way, it felt like that. As she kissed you back, you thought that this was how it was meant to be.

“You know what? You’re right, I think this works a lot better,” you said breathily.

She smiled at you. “So, what do you say we go back to bed?”

“As long as you stay on you’re side,” you teased her, starting to walk towards your room. You were glad things were more comfortable between you. It wasn’t perfect, but you’d make up for the time you lost together. You still had five whole days of vacation, and you were going to make the most of them.

“That,” Angela responded, walking through the doorway and turning back around, looking at you with a twinkle in her eye, “I can’t promise.”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~°~❦~°~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

ˋ°•*⁀➷ hope you enjoyed this babes!! have a lovely week and expect a couple more angela fics coming out soon!! 🤭🎀

#angela giarratana x reader #angela giarratana #smosh #smosh fanfiction #smosh imagine #smoshblr #smosh pit #smosh squad #smosh games #fanfiction #fanfic #reader insert #x reader

193 notes · View notes

jennarations · 2 years ago

Note

Would love your landoscar fic recs 💌

your wish is my absolute command 🫡🫡

i’ve gone back to college and started student teaching and gotten covid and adopted a kitten all in the last two weeks so i haven’t gotten to read as much but here is what i’ve got! the key is the same as the lestappen fic rec:

> (Title) +/= (Multichaptered/One-Shot)

(Summary)

!!! (Link)

• (Tags - please note these are just the tags I saw relevant to myself, double check the fics themselves for any other tags you might deem relevant!) *(Word count)

Here we go! I’m also tagging some of the bestest and loveliest authors at the bottom of the post, go send them some love!! (Putting it under a Read More for all of our collective sanity)

My one (1) work (shameless self plug heheheh):

> Thunderstruck =

Lando has a childhood fear of thunderstorms and in a record-breaking year for rainfall, Oscar Piastri becomes his new teammate.

!!! https://archiveofourown.org/works/50579323?view_adult=true

• Falling in love, Slight pining, Fluff, Humor *8.1k

—

> If You’re Barbie, And I’m Barbie, Then Who’s Driving the Bus? =

Anyways, the driver room is largely quiet at the moment. But not entirely, much to Lando’s enjoyment.

Buzzing from Oscar’s headphones, loud enough for Lando to hear the words, is a song from Barbie.

Charli XCX, no less.

!!! https://archiveofourown.org/works/48940792#main

• Fluff, Comedy *800 words

> Mortifying! Anyways, =

Mortifying interaction, but he’d survive. Besides, it’s not like the cashier was that cut–

“Cute enough to make you stupid, huh Norris?” He could hear his smile before he saw his face, a proper Cheshire grin.

“Fuck off mate,” Lando groaned, already trying to scrub the cashier from his brain. Except for the Australian accent, he decided; that bit could stay. Maybe his eyes, too, as tired as they had seemed. And his hair, which looked so soft in that kind of ridiculous side part.

!!! https://archiveofourown.org/works/49328047/chapters/124474876?

• College AU, Clumsy Lando, Meet-cute *2.3k

> The New Normal =

He wears a lot of shorts.

Lando had thought that Daniel wore shorts a lot, and then along came Oscar. It must be something about Australians.

Carlos never wore shorts.

Oscar’s pale, unblemished, muscular (and hairy) thighs spill out of the team issued black shorts whenever they sit to film content, or sit in meetings, or whenever Oscar sits in Lando’s general vicinity while wearing them.

They’re not a distraction.

OR Lando’s very healthy obsession with his new teammate’s thighs.

!!! https://archiveofourown.org/works/49335997/chapters/124496539?

• Pining, Slight smut *8k

> Invocations One Fall Away From the Concrete = ♥️

“Okay,” Lando says. “What’s your power?”

“Telekinesis,” Oscar replies a little too easily, like he’s trying not to make a big deal out of it. In fact, he’s already looking back down at his form. Lando doesn’t miss the way he seems completely stumped by the ‘Birth date’ square though.

Telekinetics are far and few between. You’re probably more likely to be struck by lightning twice than to meet a telekinetic. They’re so highly sought after in the hero industry that any telekinetic baby would automatically have a net worth of at least three hundred billion US dollars the second it was born. Moreover Oscar's an Oxy. It’s like, the jackpot of jackpots. This guy’s simply unreal on paper.

Lando scrunches up his face, rolls his eyes and says, “alright.” He shrugs. “Nothing to write home about, then.”

--------------------

AKA the low-key superpowers au where they have to activate their powers doing a really specific thing. Oscar's activation is a mystery to Lando, but it involves a lot of good stuff, pinky promise. (Lando Wink™)

!!! https://archiveofourown.org/works/49508506/chapters/124953475?

• Non-Driver AU, Superpowers AU, Roommates, Slight Angst, Fluff, Humor *10.3k

> Only Found = ♥️

“Hey, well. No strings attached, right?” Oscar says, strategically.

Lando smiles and says, “hell yeah. And now that that’s established, what’s your stance on aliens? Also, do you still want your cake?”

cinderella soulmates au where whatever you lose, your soulmate finds. except: oscar has a soulmate and lando is a No-Match, a person who doesn't have a soulmate.

!!! https://archiveofourown.org/works/49218676#main

• Non-Driver AU, Soulmates AU, Lawyer!Oscar, Streamer!Lando, Angst, Fluff *6.8k

> Carried Away =

"Oscar," Lando said. "Don't hate me, alright, but I've—”

!!! https://archiveofourown.org/works/48871015#main

• Non-Driver AU, Fake Relationship, Angst, Fluff, Humor *22.1k

> Little Bit of Love =

“I’m freezing,” Lando says. Whines, really. “Don’t be mean, Oscar, I feel like shit.”

!!! https://archiveofourown.org/works/49143811

• Sick fic, Fluff, Realization of Feelings *4.7k

> Signed Sealed =

Delivered

!!! https://archiveofourown.org/works/48959461#main

• Text fic, NSFW pics *4.3k

> Smokeshow =

Because Oscar won the American football challenge, Lando had to wear the cheerleader uniform.

!!! https://archiveofourown.org/works/48546973#main

• Smut, Cheerleader uniform Lando, Brat!Lando *3.5k

> I’ll Kiss You First =

“Uh,” Oscar says, when they’re in the car on their way to the airport. “I think you’re—um. Going into heat, mate.”

!!! https://archiveofourown.org/works/47264011#main

• A/B/O, Alpha!Oscar, Omega!Lando, Smut *3.1k

> Sunflower Seeds =

Not worth dwelling on, really. Oscar doesn’t have to understand him to be on his team. If he were a pitcher, it would be different; Oscar has to get his pitchers in order to do his job as a catcher well. Lando isn’t a pitcher, though. So it’s fine.

!!! https://archiveofourown.org/works/49596088/chapters/125175172?

• Non-Driver AU, Baseball AU, Realization of Feelings, Fluff *8.6k

> Chronically Bitchless But Still Wifed Up = ♥️

Lando wasn’t above throwing his weight around in order to get what he wanted, at least in some circumstances. And he wanted to meet Oscar Piastri.

In general, he wanted to go to a MotoGP weekend and probably could have either bought tickets and waited around there like a normal person or asked one of his actual sort-of friends in the paddock to hang out in their garage, but the more specific desire was to meet Oscar Piastri.

!!! https://archiveofourown.org/works/49301212#main

• MotoGP!Oscar, Driver!Lando, Fluff, Humor *8.3k

> Negative Splits =

So officially, Oscar Piastri, pretty good steepler and pretty bad pacer, was now a professional runner.

They wanted him to steeple, mostly, though he’d be doing cross country in the fall, and Lando had pinky promised him, mid-distance guy to mid-distance guy, that if he wanted to get into the 3k flat indoor then he would get him in.

Oscar didn’t really want to ask how he planned on doing that. Felt safer not to ask.

!!! https://archiveofourown.org/works/48161206#main

• Non-Driver AU, Professional Runner AU, Injuries, Angst, Humor, Hurt/Comfort *10.1k

> Thinkin Bout Your Touch =

Lando’s brain gets so occupied by the thought it shouldn’t come as a surprise really, when a few rounds later Oscar says, “Dare.” Lando blurts out, “Let me suck your dick.”

There’s a long, awkward silence in which they just stare at each other, Oscar’s expression completely unreadable. “Uh,” he eventually says. “I think a dare is something I’m supposed to do.”

!!! https://archiveofourown.org/works/48704749?view_adult=true#main

• PWP, Blowjob *2.3k

> I’ve Tasted Blood (And I Want More) =

Lando grabs a pillow and hits him with it, while Oscar laughs loudly. His fangs are on full display, white and sharp and pretty. “You know what I mean, you dickhead!”

“Yeah, I know what you mean,” Oscar says, eyes twinkling. “You want me to use you as a human Capri Sun. You know, like a weirdo.”

“God, you’re making this so much worse than it is,” Lando says, burying his face in his hands. It’s. Well, it’s embarrassing, but Oscar also hasn’t outright said no, so. You know what they say. In for a penny, in for a pound. “So, will you?” And then, just in case, he adds. “Suck my blood?”

!!! https://archiveofourown.org/works/48136999#main

• Vampire!Oscar, PWP *5.6k

> Legerdemain =

“You’re so modest it’s disgusting,” Lando says. “Michelle’s told me all about it. You winning against some master back in Australia. Anyways, she wants to hop on the bandwagon, get us to play chess, take photos after the weekend. She thinks you could teach me. It would show that you’re pedantic and that I’m pushing past my comfort zone...”

Oscar scoffs. “If Michelle’s only taking photos, why do I need to teach you it? Couldn’t we just pose with a chess set, like the Williams drivers?”

!!! https://archiveofourown.org/works/49690744/chapters/125422075?

• Chess, Humor, Sexual Tension *5.8k

> What You Do To Me =

“Oh,” Oscar says, because what else are you supposed to say when your teammate says ‘I wish I still had a girlfriend so I could fuck some of that frustration out of me’. “I mean. I uh. I could give you a blowjob? I’d suggest a fuck but I don’t have any lube on me right now and I’m guessing you don’t either.”

Huh, would you look at that. Looks like the award for ‘most insane statement of the night’ doesn’t go to Lando after all.

!!! https://archiveofourown.org/works/47993518?view_adult=true#main

• PWP, Blowjob *2.5k

> Purring in My Lap (cause he loves me) =

The cat thing ends up getting sort of explained in Bahrain, when Lando walks into his driver room and finds a small orange cat sitting on his couch.

Oscar’s cat, presumably.

And he kind of looks like Oscar, too. Slender, lean, and with a slightly grumpy, unimpressed expression on his face. It makes Lando laugh a little. Like owner, like pet, clearly. “Should I just call you Oscat, then,” Lando jokes, giving the cat a little head scratch.

The cat, Oscat, stops rubbing at Lando’s hand and just stares at him instead. Lando would almost say he was looking at him disapprovingly, but it is a cat, so he’s probably just imagining things.

!!! https://archiveofourown.org/works/47878867#main

• Cat!Oscar, Fluff, Slight Angst *5k

> In Limbo =

“So what, you like me?”

Tick this box for yes, and this box for no. Fold it tight. Slide the paper under the desk. Don’t let anyone see.

!!! https://archiveofourown.org/works/49619383#main

• PWP, Dubious Consent *2.3k

> Eyes on Me =

He just doesn’t understand why Oscar stares so much.

It first comes to his attention at the pre-season media shoots. They have to be photographed in the new gear, and the new suits, and all the while a video camera is rolling to capture content for some behind the scenes pre-season footage. Lando likes to look back at the content they film, just to see how awkward he is.

He looks over some of the test photos while the videos load, and he sees Oscar’s eyes on him a lot of the time. Lando’s own are on the camera, his posture relaxed as he goes through the motions of what the team asks of him.

Lando notices just how much Oscar stares at him, until one day he realises just how much he stares back.

!!! https://archiveofourown.org/works/49769368#main

• Mutual Pining *3.8k

> Home Is Wherever You Are =

‘You know, we could ask Carlos to babysit tonight,’ Lando mumbled against his mouth.

Oscar pulled back and hit his husband’s chest while laughing at him and shaking his head.

‘The man just arrived, babe, we can’t ask that right away!’

Lando pouted and pulled Oscar back against his chest. ‘But it’s been so long since it’s just been the two of us.’

OR: Lando and Oscar spend the day with their daughter and friends before finally having some alone time

!!! https://archiveofourown.org/works/49909321

• Kid!fic, Established Relationship, Fluff *4.1k

> Grand Theft August =

Oscar Piastri, eh? It's not the worst idea he's ever had.

!!! https://archiveofourown.org/works/49975555?view_adult=true#main

• Angst, Humor, Smut *6.9k

> We’re All in the Butter But Some of Us Are Looking At the Cars = ♥️

Under it, the cross stitch with the Mandela quote, there was another one. A different one. Keep your feet on the ground and keep reaching for the stars. Stars, again. And then the one beneath that was also about stars. Weird, he thought, then went to the till to wait for his sister.

Above the pile, too high for twelve year old Oscar to read, a sign was stamped. SECTION #13: REACH FOR THE STARS.

Twenty two year old Oscar rests his nose to the glass and looks at the clouds.

!!! https://archiveofourown.org/works/49696357

• Angst, Slow burn, Prose, Realization of Feelings *14.3k

> Terraforming =

“WORMHOLES! An Einstein brain child. They are created when FTL objects puncture the bed sheet that is our universe. Going through them should be a trip through timespace, which sounds cool, except it’s not because we never know what’s on the other side—”

“I think you meant fabric, not bed sheet,” Oscar says.

Lando rolls his eyes. “It’s a metaphor, mate.”

“For what?”

“For like. The fabric of the universe.”

“Huh.”

“Shut up.”

!!! https://archiveofourown.org/works/50099659

• Space AU, Non-Linear Narrative, Angst, Happy Ending *8.8k <- I literally haven’t read this yet because it was uploaded today but i love enzo and all their stuff is fantastic so i’m rec’ing it anyway :)

> Superdense Neutron Star//Post Supernova +

It felt good to laugh. Thursdays already kind of sucked, all of the walking and talking and nothing to do, even when he wasn’t being drilled on the abrupt shift of his career. It was manageable because it had to be; because there was half a season left and a championship spot left to fight for and a team that was still his home, even if he’d just been delivered the eviction notice.

!!! https://archiveofourown.org/works/49981615/chapters/126195823

• Angst, Fluff, Ambiguous Ending *21.8k <- i also have not had the time to read this one because of life, but i trust leaf with my feelings (and my life) so this also goes on the list.

EDIT 11/5: More additions to the list!

> Unraveled =

Lando does not have a thing for his roommate.

!!! https://archiveofourown.org/works/50085112/chapters/126476167?

• Non-Driver AU, Roommate AU, Bartender!Lando, Realization of Feelings *7.1k

> It’s Not Queerbaiting, It’s Saving the World =

Lando bursts into Oscar’s room without knocking. He’s red in the face and panting, sweat collecting on his forehead like he just ran a marathon.

“You need to kiss me.”

or, the drivers stage a protest, of sorts. Oscar might lose his mind.

!!! https://archiveofourown.org/works/49710619#main

• Fluff, Humor *1.6k

> Melepathic. Or Something =

“Thank God we used condoms,” mutters Oscar later, when they’re presentable, no doubt thinking back to last week when they. Well. Lando peeks out the door to check if the hallway is clear. It is.

“Yeah,” he says as he gestures Oscar out. “See you in a few, mate.” Oscar slips through and Lando picks up his phone again, sees a new message. Up for some fun tonight?

sure, says Lando after a moment. Amen to short refractory periods and all that.

!!! https://archiveofourown.org/works/47589115#main

• Smut, Miscommunication, Happy Ending, FWB *8.5k

> What Would You Do (If I Went To Touch You Now?) =

“Okay, so they both like each other. We need to get them together.”

“How? Lando’s too freaked out to think straight and Oscar is the human embodiment of the standing man emoji.”

Charles purses his lips for a moment before he snatches his boyfriend’s phone up from the other side of the table.

“What are you doing?”

“Initiating Mission Landoscar.”

“Did you just make that up?”

Charles waves at him dismissively as he begins texting, and Max lays his head down on the coffee table and prays for strength.

***

In which Max tries to prove to an oblivious Charles how glaringly obvious it is that Lando is head over heels in love with Oscar. When Charles finally gets with the program, Lestappen go on A Mission™ to get the two idiots to admit their feelings for each-other, but it’s easier said than done.

!!! https://archiveofourown.org/works/48745483/chapters/122963314

• Lestappen as a plot device, Angst, Slight Smut, Fluff, Humor, Texting, Escape Room Shenanigans *29.7

> Soft Vanilla Foreplay = ♥️

“Oh shit, you’re,” Lando gasps, smiles. “You’re a. You’re Robin Hood. You’re a kitty Robin Hood.”

Oscar stops grinding. “Can we have this talk tomorrow?”

Lando laughs and comes down to place a kiss on Oscar’s lips. “Yeah. Oh yeah. Tomorrow. Tomorrow would be great. I’m sooooo busy right now. Hmm.”

!!! https://archiveofourown.org/works/50382910/chapters/127293583?

• Vigilantes, Cat!Oscar, Hacker!Lando, Non-Driver AU, Slight angst, Humor, Happy Ending *8.6k

> Is it Gay to Watch Your Teammate on TikTok? (Asking for a friend) +

He’s sitting on the bed, dinner long since picked at, with his knees pulled up to his chest. He feels close to hyperventilating.

It’s playing on loop, some sappy little edit captioned “i need to find someone to look at me the same way oscar looks at lando”.

And really, who the fuck was going to tell him that Oscar smiles at him like that?

!!! https://archiveofourown.org/chapters/127611460?

• Fluff, Humor, Ship aware Lando (containment breach of RPF), Pining *4.6k

> HOCKEY!!! Shrimp Colors :) =

Montreal puts Oscar on waivers after years - years of bouncing from the feeder team up to the league, and then back down. Edmonton picks him up.

Edmonton keeps him. Lando does, too.

!!! https://archiveofourown.org/works/50562061/chapters/127728067?

• Non-Driver AU, Hockey AU, Leaf puts sports boys into other sports, Angst, Fluff *13.8k

> My Shelter in a Hurricane =

Oscar wants to help Lando get better after the disappointment of Qatar's GP qualification. He doesn't know how...

!!! https://archiveofourown.org/works/50639854/chapters/127923673?

• Fluff, Established Relationship, Post-Qatar Quali, Slight Angst *1.4k

> Pretty When You Cry =

Lando wasn’t sure if he wanted to cry, rip his hairs out, punch a hole into a wall, maybe shove someone, or maybe all of the above.

Or: the mclaren boys comfort each other after that shipwreck of a qualifying.

!!! https://archiveofourown.org/works/50624551?view_adult=true#main

• Fluff, Slight Angst *1.4k

> Already Home = ♥️

Lando takes a deep steadying breath. “I think I might be in love with Oscar.” He says, and hates how immediately when he says the words, he knows it’s true.

“Right,” Max says, nodding. “And?”

“What do you mean, ‘and?’” Lando says, a little outraged. “I can’t be in love with him! We’re married! This is like, a disaster waiting to happen!”

!!! https://archiveofourown.org/works/50704861/chapters/128087614?

• Non-Driver AU, Fake Marriage, Falling in Love, Angst, Humor, Fluff *32.5k

> Do You Like Me? Y/N =

oscar & lando have an awkward plane conversation, aided by uquiz.

!!! https://archiveofourown.org/works/50706235/chapters/128091004?

• Fluff *3.8k

> Recreate the Sun =

“You know who you sound like when you say that?” Lando asks absently, tossing the open bag of Skittles to one side and hoisting himself up the bed to rest against the pillows, head tipped back, the jut of his Adam’s apple catching stark in the TV’s flickering light.

On some level, Oscar already knows what’s coming. The Cheshire cat grin Lando gives to the ceiling near enough confirms it.

“Who?”

“Mark Webber.”

!!! https://archiveofourown.org/works/48632239

• PWP, Weed use, Oscar/Mark mentions *3k

> Landoscar Cooking Show =

Lando and Oscar's love story through food-related posts on Instagram

!!! https://archiveofourown.org/works/50825998#main

• Picture fic, Social media fic, Fluff *0k

> Little Renaissance = ♥️

And Oscar - people said he didn’t like the spotlight, didn’t know how to capture it and keep it the way Lando did. They always compared the two of them, in that regard. Even after Oscar left. But they weren’t right, the strangers, not after the first year at least.

!!! https://archiveofourown.org/works/50824324/chapters/128393929?

• Future Fic, Retirement, Angst, Pining, Acceptance, Happy Ending, Prose *14.2k

> Those Magic Changes =

“Yeah, right.” Oscar’s beer tastes stale in his mouth. “Sure there’s other perks though, right?”

Logan’s attention has been taken by his phone. Probably a girl, Oscar thinks, or his Mom. Maybe there’s a particularly big fish being shared in the family group chat. He types out a message then locks it with purpose, chucking it face down on the table.

“Yeah, I mean. You know what they say happens when you podium, right? The girl thing?”

!!! https://archiveofourown.org/works/49308133#main

• Fem!Oscar, Smut, PWP *7.8k

> Sometimes I Start To Think You Hate Me Too =

Lando seems to have come to the conclusion that his strategy of appeasing him isn't working, so he opts for being impersonal, objective. "You were optimistic, Carlos locked up, you both crashed. It was a racing incident, and you - you are being dumb about it."

It doesn't work.

He scoffs, upset, he has never left anything well alone, he digs his heels deeper. "I wasn't too optimistic, I was inexperienced, was I not?"

OR,

The deep fear of yearning, wanting and needing without understanding the jealousy that consumes you. Breaking and breathing heavily under an awfully put facade of everything going well.

!!! https://archiveofourown.org/works/49659349/chapters/125339467?

• Angst, Inner Turmoil, Fluff, Happy Ending *3.7k

> Mine =

All in all, it’d been a shit weekend for Oscar. He knew he was beating himself up over understandable, expected rookie mistakes, he knew it was a great learning opportunity, he knew that the damage to his car hadn’t been entirely his fault on both occasions. Even if he didn’t show it or express it outwardly, it stung to watch his teammate stand on the podium - P3 - after all that’d happened. It hurt even more when that P3 became P2 before they’d even finished celebrating.

Lando moved up in the championship, so did the team. He deserved it, but it hurt like a bitch.

!!! https://archiveofourown.org/works/51053692?view_adult=true#main

• PWP, Dom!Oscar *2.8k

> Sanctus = ♥️

“Nessun maggior dolore che ricordarsi del tempo felice ne la miseria,” Oscar read. Recited. Proclaimed.

“There is no greater sorrow than thinking back upon a happy time in misery,” Lando echoed.

!!! https://archiveofourown.org/works/50752399/chapters/128207113?

• Renaissance AU, Non-Driver AU, Angst, Master/Servant Relationship, Religious Imagery, Fluff, Happy Ending *5.5k

> Anything Less Than Human =

Oscar doesn’t really do entrances. Sure, in high society, it’s deemed necessary to stand at the top of some ridiculous staircase and wait for someone to announce your arrival. But that really only works in your favor if your name has any kind of good status associated with it.

Oscar’s not fortunate enough to fall into that category.

!!! https://archiveofourown.org/works/49902154/chapters/125979850?

• Vampire!Oscar, Masquerade Ball, Consensual Blood Sucking *2.7k

That’s all for now folks!

Authors (i love and cherish u all, you’re simply the light of my life):

@wanderingblindly @eisenberg @ocontraire @celientjeee @nyoomfruits @gaslybottoms and @ venerat (ao3 user)

P.S. whoever the nonnies are that wrote “Grand Theft August” and “We’re All in the Butter but Some of us are Watching the Cars” i would literally pay you to step on me, thanks and good night.

#fic rec #oscar piastri #lando norris #landoscar #landoscar fic rec #mctwinks #mclaren #formula one fic rec #formula one #f1

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sasagero · 5 months ago

Text

A3! Tenma Sumeragi SR: "Veludo Way Oshi Spot! ~Video: Tenma~" (2/2)

Taichi: We finally got the chance to come to the burger shop, and the fact that we even get to reserve it just for us makes me super happy!

Tenma: They were supposed to reopen tomorrow, but they made an exception for us and opened early just so that we can film.

Taichi: I’m nothing but grateful towards them!

Taichi: But honestly, I was a little surprised that you wanted to introduce this place for your video, Ten-chan.

Tenma: Really? I’ve taken a liking to this place since we’ve dropped in a few times on the way home.

Tenma: Plus, I learned about this place because of you, so I wanted to introduce it together.

Taichi: Ten-chan! Hearing something like that makes me super happy…!

Tenma: Well, I actually just want to eat the burger I missed out on trying last time, you know.

Taichi: Eeh?!

Tenma: Come on, let’s start filming before we go ahead and order a burger.

Taichi: W-why do you gotta toy with my feelings like that…?!

Tenma: Tenma Sumeragi from Mankai Company’s Summer Troupe here.

Tenma: In this video, I’ll be showing off a place I like in Veludo Way.

Taichi: By the way, I, Taichi Nanao of Autumn Troupe, am in charge of filming! I’m gonna work hard with Ten-chan so that we can make a good video!

Tenma: That being said, the place we’d like to show you all is this hamburger shop.

Tenma: I’m sure there are a lot of students in Veludo Way who owe it to this shop, right?

Tenma: After all, the burgers here are cheap yet delicious, and the serving sizes are big, too.

Taichi: It’s the best spot to make a quick stop at! Plus, the interior’s super stylish and nice!

Tenma: Of course, you can come with your friends, but it might be a nice date spot, too. It’s a good place for any occasion.

Tenma: We thought we’d show you guys our recommendations off the menu today, too.

Tenma: I recommend the curry potatoes and the double cheeseburger, but…

Tenma: This time, I’ll ask them to hold the pickles, tomatoes, and onions in my order.

Taichi: There’s hardly any vegetables left…

Tenma: I wanted people to know that they can order like this and request to have things taken out.

Tenma: If there’s something in there that you can’t eat, there’s no need to worry—just ask them to leave it out like this.

Tenma: Anyways, Taichi ordered the teriyaki burger and cola set.

Tenma: …And he’s already unwrapping the teriyaki burger. You’re in the middle of filming, but you seem super eager to eat.

Taichi: I’ve got a hand free not holding the camera, so if I just put my mind to it, it’s no problem!

Tenma: Well, guess that should be fine… Alright, I’m digging in.

Tenma: …Tasty!

Taichi: That’s delicious—!

Tenma: Beyond the menu items we just showed to you, their menu has a lot of delicious looking dishes.

Tenma: It might be nice to bring a friend so that you can order and share everything you’re interested in.

Tenma: Even right now, Taichi’s decided to snack on my curry potatoes.

Taichi: Didn’t you say it was fine before we started filming?!

Tenma: I’m not saying it’s a bad thing. I just thought that you’re pretty dextrous, even with only one hand.

Tenma: And with that, this is the end of our hamburger shop introduction video.

Tenma: If you’d like, definitely come here to eat.

Tenma: Okay, and… post.

Check out my recommended order and what I show off. #RedevelopmentProjectCommemorationEvent #MANKAIVeludo #SumeragiTenma #HamburgerShop #RecommendedMenu #ItWasDelicious

Tenma: …Tasty!

Taichi: That’s delicious—!

Tenma: Beyond the menu items we just showed to you, their menu has a lot of delicious looking dishes.

Tenma: It might be nice to bring a friend so that you can order and share everything you’re interested in.

Tenma: …How is it?

Taichi: Checking on my phone, I can confirm that your behind-the-scenes pics and video got posted!

Tenma: Thanks. Because of you, the video came out well, so I’m excited for everyone’s reactions.

Taichi: Mhm, it’d make me happy if people came to the burger shop because they saw the video!

Taichi: I mean, just watching the video’s made me crave a burger…!

Tenma: That’s because the burgers there are delicious. I understand why you’d want to eat there regularly.

Taichi: Ah, but…

Tenma: What’s up?

Taichi: If Ten-chan’s fans watch the video and rush the restaurant, won’t it become super hard to drop by there?!

Tenma: Now that you mention it, that’s true… That’s not out of the question.

Tenma: In that case, the next time we wanna go, I’d better disguise myself.

Taichi: Yeah! ‘Cause I wanna go eat burgers with you again!

Tenma: Let me try and come up with a disguise that definitely won’t get found out…

---

Previous chapter

#a3! translation #a3!#act addict actors #tenma sumeragi #taichi nanao #hitting the yay

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gvfmarge · 1 year ago

Text

My second ever fic!

I wrote this a 2am last night after some… thoughts. I don’t know how to continue it or wrap it up, I’ve never been good at endings. So here it is, I wish I knew how to make it spicier. I also have not edited this whatsoever, so please excuse any mistakes or errors.

Anyways! Hope you enjoy!

•Jake Kiszka x Reader

•18+ MDNI

•Toy play, dirty talk, ummm just filth.

Fed Up

Jake was supposed to have today off, they were supposed to have a free day and it was supposed to be your day with him. But, as it always seems to happen, he had to meet with their manager for a quick follow up that morning on something with the label; you weren’t quite sure what was going on but Jake was mad when he woke up to the phone call at 7:30. He promised he would make it quick and be home as soon as possible, between kisses and tight squeezes he promised to be home by 11am.

Sitting on your couch watching trash TV, your phone lights up with a text from him. You notice it’s already 11:15am.

Jake: We’re so close to finishing up! I’m so sorry love, I’ll be home in just a bit.

You huffed and turned your attention back towards the TV. You couldn’t pay attention to the annoying valley girl laughs or the drunken slurs that poured out of the speakers. You were fed up. The day that you had been looking forward to for weeks was halfway through and you hadn’t got to spend any of it with Jake.

Sinking down into the plush pillows your mind was wandering. You had created this beautiful day full of love between the two of you and had hoped it would end with you two wrapped around each other in bed. You started imagining the last night you were in bed together and the events that took place and your cheeks started to warm. You tried to ignore the thoughts of his hands gliding over your thighs or the sounds of his panting over top of you that night. You tried to ignore the way he looked in pure bliss with you. You knew, you hoped, you could spend tonight the same way. Your thighs twisted together and clinched to keep the deep feeling of lust away, but it was no use. You picked up the remote and turned off the TV. You aggressively picked up your phone and opened his text thread again, hoping that he maybe had texted again that he was on his way; but there was no new texts from him.

You: Okay! Let me know when you’re on your way. Love you! 😘

You watched the blue bubble swoop onto the screen and hoped that he would read it and respond immediately. But when the read receipt didn’t come after a minute or two, you gave up. You trudged your way up the wooden stairs, your feet hitting heavy after feeling defeated.

You thought maybe a nap would pass the time and would wake up to Jake waking you up and you could officially start your day with him. You fell back into the bed and stared at the ceiling fan spinning around and around. A few moments later, you rolled over to your nightstand and opened the drawer. Grabbing your vibrator, you thought it might help your nap come easier.

Rolling your eyes you quickly kicked your shorts off into the floor. You double checked your phone for the last time, making sure he hadn’t texted to let you know he was on his way. He hadn’t.

You clicked the vibrator on and slowly ran it over your stomach, around your belly button and across your hip bones. Just imagining and pretending it was Jake’s tongue licking stripes across your skin. Goosebumps rose across your legs at the feeling. You let out a deep sigh and continued down your torso, making your way with the vibrating wand down the insides of your thighs. Careful not to hit that perfect spot yet, you ran it across your mound and down the crease of your thighs. Finally giving in, you moved it into the sweet spot and let out a muffled moan. You imagined what Jake would say as he was watching you pleasure yourself with your favorite toy. “Good girl, you’re doing so well baby, you look like an angel spread out for me.” His voice echoed in your head as your breathing picked up. You were so close, your stomach was tightening and you felt your legs begin to tremble.

That’s when you heard it. The squeaky floor board at the door of your bedroom gave him away. Your eyes shot open and you sat straight up in embarrassment. You threw your vibrator in a stupid attempt to act like you weren’t just pleasuring yourself. Your eyes met his as he walked into the room, his walk pouring confidence. His eyes dark and lips turned up into a smirk. He reached you beside the bed and ran his hand down your cheek with a soft chuckle.

“Jake, I- I didn’t hear your text come through” you stuttered out. “I didn’t know you were home already.”

“Well I wanted to surprise you but I see I’m the one who got the surprise.” He grinned.

“I just couldn’t wait, I was going to try to nap but it just happened.” You sat up hastily and tried to pull your shirt down far enough to cover yourself, finding yourself embarrassed and feeling too exposed. His hand grabbed yours to stop you from covering yourself. Pushing your hand away, he lifted your shirt over your shoulders and threw it into the pile of clothes on the floor. “Keep going.” He quietly commanded.

“What?” You were shocked. You two had gotten up to some pretty wild times, but this was never one. This was new territory and pleasuring yourself in front of him, for him seemed to be too daunting.

“I want to watch you, I want to see you do what you do when I’m not home.” He sauntered to the end of the bed and pulled off his half buttoned linen shirt. Sitting down on the edge, he held out his hand in your direction, motioning for you to continue.

You cleared your throat and closed your slack jaw, grabbing your vibrator again and trying to reposition yourself to feel more comfortable again. You looked at him and his eyes felt hot on your skin. You could feel his eyes burning into you, ready to watch what unfolded in front of him.

He could sense your hesitation. It was heavy in the room. He rose onto the bed, crawling towards you on his knees. You had never felt like prey to him, you had never felt so vulnerable with him. Jake ran his fingers down your shin in an attempt to soothe your nerves. “It’s just me baby, it’s just me. I just want to see my girl.” He whispered, his demeanor changing in an instant to help bring you back out of the hole you were falling into.

You swallowed and grinned, finally feeling the confidence slipping back into you. Pressing the on button, you slowly ran the toy over your skin like you had done earlier. Teasing yourself again, you slowly made your way back to your throbbing clit. The instant the toy touched your sensitive spot, your head rolled to the side and your eyes squeezed tight. Knowing he was watching, was even more exhilarating. It felt like you hadn’t been touched in years. “There you go baby, just like that” Jake mumbled out, kissing the side of your knee.

Your moans grew louder and louder and Jake could feel your legs begin to shake. “Take it off.” He whispered. It brought you out of the blackness and your eyes popped open along with your mouth dropped wide. “I said take. it. off.” He demanded again, this time with more dominance in his voice.

You removed the toy and instantly felt the build up in your stomach disappear. “Jakkkeeee” you whined throwing your head back. He huffed a laugh and stood up, unbuckling his belt and letting his jeans slide down his legs and stepped out of them. He climbed back onto the bed, again sitting beside your legs and leaned his head against your knee. “You may continue.” He grinned, feeling so proud of himself for getting you into this predicament.

You pouted your lips at him and slowly placed your toy back onto your clit. You instantly jolted from the sensitivity. You had never felt this before, he had never edged you from orgasm before. He had never taken away the one thing he seemed to always want to give you.

Your mouth opened slowly, allowing the growing moans to escape. Your chest was heaving as that pressure began to build again, more intense than before. Your head shot up as your stomach tensed and you knew you were about to see the stars.

“Off.” He demanded once again. Tears filled your eyes and you felt like you were going to actually die from the loss of sensation. “What are you doing??” You almost yelled at him sitting up straight in a panic.

“Just trust me.” He replied, kissing your legs again and running one hand across your stomach, the other palming himself, just trying to relieve pressure for himself. “Okay, last time baby.”

You returned the toy to your clit, hoping he would let you finally finish. Finally end this game.

You were instantly floating in space. Stars flying by your body. Your hearing disappeared and you weren’t sure if sounds were coming out of your mouth. You saw black. Your body convulsed and you came, harder and harder, it seemed to never ease up. Just as you felt that maybe you were floating back down to the ground, you started to remove the toy from your body. “No, leave it there.”

You couldn’t even think, there were no thoughts coming into your head. Just screams. Just ecstasy. Pure bliss. The stars began fading and all you could seem to do was reach for anything your free hand could reach, you grabbed onto his shoulder for leverage; you felt like your whole body might turn into mush. You couldn’t make any sound now, your entire energy was being expelled through your orgasm.

“Yes baby, god I can’t even believe how perfect you are, look at your beautiful pussy fluttering, I can’t wait to feel you on my fucking dick, oh my god” His string of thoughts spilling out into the air as you felt like you had died and gone to Heaven.

“Okay baby, okay” he whispered as he moved your hand away. Your body couldn’t lay still, you had no control over your movements and you were convulsing as you curled over into your side. You felt him slide behind you, kissing every inch of your neck down onto your shoulder. He ran his hands through your hair to try and ground you again.

You were finally able to take a few deep breaths and even out your breathing. The feeling in your body slowly returned and you could finally open your eyes. You slowly rolled onto your back to see the smirk on his lips.

#jake kiszka x reader #jake kiszka fic #jake kiszka #Jake kiszka smut #greta van fleet #greta van fleet fic #gvf #greta van smut

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crystillyzed · 2 years ago

Text

at the rainbow's end // mysta rias

pairing: mysta rias x gn!reader

word count: 4.1k

genre: fluff, staff!reader, mutual pining, wingman elira

content warning(s): swearing, unedited

summary:

After nearly a year of hearing each other's voice, you finally meet him.

a/n: this was originally going to be released as my 100 follower celebration since i hit that a while back and to make up for the lack of event since i don’t have the time to host one. but with mysta’s graduation this past weekend, i didn’t want to keep this in my drafts since i’ve been working on this for like practically a year now.

this fox-dog man means so much to me, even though i can’t really catch his streams due to timezone differences, but he means So Much to me. i got back into writing because of luxiem, but he and shu were the ones who got me back into the swing of writing which is amazing bc i love writing. i just lost all the motivation to do so until i found them last year. even though he’s no longer in niji anymore or mysta anymore, i will keep writing for him. in fact, i actually have like 3 or so mysta works in the drafts lol

and speaking of writing, this is the first long fic i’ve written in 3-4 years. i’m considering crossposting this onto my ao3 as an alternative access to read longer fics bc ik how tumblr is poopy with loading long text posts. i’m a bit rusty when it comes to writing long fics, but i hope you’ll be able to enjoy this as much as i enjoyed writing this 🧡

links: luxiem m.l || main m.l || ao3 ver (if tumblr dies)

You twist your head from your phone back towards your monitor, displaying the Discord window showing your current private call with your blue dragon friend.

“Mysta’s WHAT?”

“Yeah, he’s coming along on the trip,” Elira laughed. “You didn’t know?”

“Apparent-ly! What the hell!! Luca, that motherfucker, I’m gonna beat his ass when I see him!”

She howls with laughter as you ramble on and on about how Luca told you everything about their planned trip but didn’t tell you about Mysta’s planned involvement. Once you’re done, she takes many deep breaths to calm down. “You should come with us! It’s gonna be fun. And, you’ll get to see him again.~”

You can’t really see each other’s faces, considering you’re both in a voice call. But god damn, you can hear the eyebrow wiggle in her teasing tone.

“I can’t,” you groaned, “I have finals when you’re there. As much as I wanna skip it, I really need to pass.”

“Damn, you can’t even get a referral from staff to get you here for a business meeting? Unlucky.”

“Can’t even do that anyway. I already told my professor that my trip’s been canceled, so now I have to take it.”

Though you’re not a liver for the company, you are, however, a staff member for the company. Specifically one of the staff in charge of promotions. Of course, you mainly focus on promoting EN and sometimes the other two now-merged branches. In fact, that’s how you got close to some of the livers.

As one of the staff promoters, you have to speak with the associated livers about PR stream offers and their convention appearance invites. Since you’ve been interacting with the livers the most, you’ve become friends with a few of them. Some namely Elira and Mysta.

Honestly, it’s not that you play favorites with the livers. You try your best to keep your relationships professional with them. But your bond with a specific fox-like man says otherwise.

You see, Mysta has been a joy to be around with. Although you haven’t met him in person yet, you have played some multiplayer games with him. Sometimes you check out the EN Minecraft server to see if the installed mods are working properly. Weirdly enough, almost every time you visit the server, Mysta is online. In fact, that’s how your not-so-business relationship started.

When you first entered the server, after double checking if no one was streaming at the scheduled hour, he was the first person you met. You thought you would run into Selen, Pomu, or perhaps Uki during your visit, but you were pleasantly surprised at his sudden appearance. Luckily, he was kind enough to show you around the server while teaching you some mods. With, of course, the trademark Mysta Rias experience packaged with sexual innuendos and teasing about. Well, except he didn’t go completely sexual considering it was your first time meeting him. He has some decency.

After that, you’ve run into him almost every time you visit the Minecraft server. Every visit eventually turned into hangouts, just you two (and sometimes another liver) chatting and building projects in-game. Soon enough, you and Mysta started to play other games together. You both played games such as Overwatch, Clubhouse, and sometimes League if you felt like torturing yourself for some reason.

Obviously, you had to keep the professionalism on both sides somehow. Your fellow staff members, especially some livers, noticed your close bond with the detective. So they usually send you to his DMs to discuss about any promotion offers involving him. Whenever you have your cameras on for a meeting, he somehow always flusters you with sudden flirtatious marks or something of the sort mid-conversation.

“Hello? Helloooooooo? Is someone there??”

Elira’s voice yoinks you out of your thoughts. Oh god, were you spacing out this entire time? How embarassing.

You clear your throat then respond as if you weren’t thinking of someone just now, “S-sorry, did you say something?”

“Oh my god. It’s that bad,” she mindlessly mutters.

Blink blink. “Huh?”

“Nothing,” she quickly retaliates. With a slight hum, she speaks again, “Since you’re gonna be stuck in hell… Want me to get you something? Like a souvenir or a limited edition thing? I literally have your address, man.”

Oh right, she does. Sometimes you and Elira send gifts to each other like figurines or plushies at random times.

“Nah, I’m good. Thanks for the offer, man.”

“Are you sure? I mean, I’ll still probably send some pics buuut… Y’know… Just saying…”

There she goes again, doing that thing where she wiggles her eyebrows even though you can’t see her fucking face right now. Goddamn it, why did you tell her about your… thing with Mysta? You should’ve known that she’s NOT going to let it go.

You groan, “Just. Just surprise me.”

“That’s so vague! Do you know what that means?”

“Yeah? So? Surprise me.”

“Man… You have no idea how much power you just gave me.” She cackles for the next few seconds, making you start regretting your decision. “Okay, I’ll surprise you. Just don’t forget you asked me to, alright? And no complaining!”

“Okay, alright, fine! I won’t complain! Jeez… Now get to bed, nerd, you have a flight tomorrow.”

“Sheesh, what are you, my mom?” You both chuckle at her remark. “Okieee~ I’ll go pass out now, I guess. Good night!”

“Good night, Ewiwa. Have a safe trip.”

And you both leave call. Well, maybe you should get to sleep too. It’s getting super late, after all.

—

Mysta stares at Elira across the table in disbelief. “Finals? Of all times? Bruh…”

“Haha, yeah! Super uncool and lame and not something I have to worry about soon,” his penguin colleague beside him laughs with a dreadfully crazed look in her eyes. She anxiously reaches out for her soda and starts drinking rapidly.

“Wh— it’s not like I can control it or anything. Shit happens!”

“I know, it’s just…” he drawls off as his gaze lowers to the table. Admittedly, it’s difficult for him to hide his expression. So naturally, the two girls noticed his disappointment. Elira and Petra awkwardly look at each other, then to him, then back at each other.

“Hey, it’s okay, Mysta,” Petra says as she pats his back. “You can always see them next time! Like Nijifest!”

The dragon nods, “Yeah! Or you could see them the next time you take a break. Like going on another vacation or something.”

“If I have enough money for it,” he sighed. But he gives them a small smile to appreciate their attempts to soothe him.

Petra frowns. “If? Mysta, you’re literally one of the top livers in EN, like? Hello? Mr. One Million?”

“But I still don’t know when that’s gonna happen. Might as well be in a year or maybe like half a year or something.”

Elira’s eyes narrow. She quietly listens to their conversation, or bickering at this point, while taking some occasional sips of her drink.

For the past practically a year, Elira’s been one of the victims to both of your hopeless gushing.

She already knew about your friendship since you’ve talked a lot about it before. She knows the stupid hijinks and drunken confessions that you and Mysta told her about off stream. Her eyes closes as a confused thought crosses her mind, Seriously, how are you two not dating already?

Of course, she’s quite aware that the rest of Luxiem are both of your victims. Hell, when Elira’s alone with the other boys, it’s usually them talking about how astonishing that you and Mysta aren’t together. Sometimes, they make bets on who’s going to confess first. It’s obvious!

Even with the two going back and forth, practically becoming one with the background, she closes her eyes and hums in thought. Finals should be finished next week, she mused. Her visible eye opens as she takes a glance at the ashy haired male. But he’s been so busy lately that they haven’t spoken with each other…

The entire EN branch had a full schedule for the past few months. In fact, their schedule was so full that sometimes the livers couldn’t make their own streaming schedules nor stream in general. Mysta, of course, was no exception. As one of the most popular livers in EN, he’s one of the most busiest people she’s ever known. On top of that, you too have been busy recently too. You haven’t been able to hang out with him as of late despite being a staff member yourself. Life really likes to fuck anyone over, doesn’t it?

She could tell that you two haven’t been able to find the time to talk with each other. The staff picked up many projects that practically almost everyone is unavailable, and you were one of said unavailable members. The only times the livers could contact you was through Slack or by email for business inquiries. But things should be slightly slowing down, for now that is.

Although, it would be nice to have you two meet each other once at the same time, even if it’s a coincidental encounter.

Wait a minute…

A devious smirk lifts her lips, her eyes glinting with mischief in mind. She chuckles to herself as she entertains the thought. Hell, it even looks kinda creepy to the other patrons. ESPECIALLY to her coworkers who’s now staring at her with confusion and a hint of fear.

“…Elira? Are you okay?” Petra asked the dragon.

“Hm?” She blinks out of her thoughts as the penguin’s voice pulls her back into reality. Elira stares at her and Mysta, who also looks a bit dumbfounded, before grinning at them. “Oh, don’t worry about it. Just thought of something.”

Blink blink. “Like what?” Mysta asked this time.

Again, she lets out a chuckle and flicks her wrist to wave off the concern. “Like I said! Don’t worry about it! Y’all will see it eventually.”

Soon enough, the waitress arrives with their orders. Elira turns to face her and helps her with the food. On the other side of the table, the two livers tilt their heads in confusion and eventually give each other an unknowing look as the table is served.

—

You lie in bed snuggled underneath your covers, but the lights are still on as you scroll through Twitter on your phone.

It’s been about a couple weeks since your call with Elira. She’s been sending you updates, videos, and pictures of the group’s adventures in Japan. Sometimes, she’d call you before going to bed to tell you what happened during the trip in case it was a story she couldn’t explain over text. Of course, there were times when another liver like Reimu and Nina would join in the call and give you the tea. As much as you wished you wanted to be there while dying in exams, you felt warm as you saw the livers enjoying themselves on their vacation.

Then, you noticed how fast the month flew by. Eventually, it was time for the livers to fly home and say goodbye for a while. They all had different flights, obviously, but there was a specific person who didn’t leave the country yet.

You were looking on Twitter while watching the members’ story time streams on a pop-up viewer. Although, you didn’t see Mysta’s waiting room or tweet indicating his return to streaming yet.

Suddenly, you remembered why.

“He wants to stay back for a bit,” Elira answered over the sound of her packing. “Dunno why, but I don’t blame him. He was in Japan for work last time.”

That he was. Though disappointing it is that you can’t hang with him for a while longer, at least he’s having fun.

“Oh, remember the thing I asked you about?”

She asked you something? When?

“What thing?” You asked.

“Uh… The souvenir thing?”

Oh shit, you forgot about that. And apparently, she noticed your forgetfulness as indicated by her laughter.

“I got you something,” Elira continued, “but I’ll send it to you when I get back.”

“Why not now? You can just ask headquarters to send it to me.”

“It’s not something in a box though.”

You blinked in confusion, unanswering.

On the other end of the line, you heard her chuckle, “You’ll see.”

Your brief conversation did, in fact, make you scared. Although it’s Elira, your local dependable dragon, sometimes she can be as unpredictable as… well… the rest of Nijisanji. Not just EN, but Nijisanji in general. Remember that one time you watched her stream where she suddenly jumped into a hole in that Forest collab? Yeah…

Now, some time has passed since the trip and she’s been home for about almost a week. It’s something not in a box, right? So what’s taking her so long? Is it digital? Or did she fuck up somewhere with the delivery?

Currently, you’ve been juggling schoolwork, personal work, and work-work. Needless to say, it’s been a stressful time, especially around this type of year. Seriously, why is everyone so goddamn busy around this time? Idle thoughts aside, you’ve also been anxiously waiting for Elira’s souvenir. For the past week, you’d constantly check your phone and your PC for any email or DM from Slack and Discord with Elira’s name attached to it. Every time you get DM’ed or emailed, it’s always been another liver or staff member whose name doesn’t start with Elira and end with Pendora.

But hey, at least you got funny memes from Luca and Mysta in the mean time!

Honestly, at this point, you might as well just give up. Maybe she did run into issues, or she just forgot.

You let out a sigh as you refreshed your feed for the umpteenth time tonight, accompanied by the ghost’s voice eminating through your speakers. Yet suddenly, a notification banner from Discord slides down onto the screen.

Elira Pendora

SURPRISE!!!!

Oh.

Huh.

So she didn’t forget??

Confused yet astonished at the same time, you pull down your notifications bar and tap on the DM to see what she sent.

As the iconic Discord logo pops up on your screen, it eventually loads your conversation with Elira. When you look past your previous chat, a message larger than it should be fills about a third of your screen.

A plane ticket to London next week. Seat number and all. And most notably, it has your name.

…

“HUH?”

You frantically tap on the textbox and type.

You

GIRL

WHAGT THE FUCK IS THIS

Elira Pendora

your souvenir! ☺️

You

WDYM SOUVENIR THATS NOT EVEN RELATED TO JAPAN??? 😭😭😭😭

also

HOW DID YUO GET MY NUMBER??? AND MY EMAIL????? :monkas:

Elira Pendora

I had to pull a few strings with staff

just normal coworker things

You

:thonk:

“normal”

Elira Pendora

but like you should go!!!

I didn’t go through all that just for you to not see him

and you really needed a break so 😎

You

??????

but hes Still in japan?????

Elira Pendora

yeah but he’s flying back home next week

I asked him earlier and had to like try to figure out how to get you to meet him at the same time

or like

around the same time 😌

You

man idk if i should thank you or yell at you

Elira Pendora

LMAO EITHER WORKS IT’S OKAY MAN

better get ready!!!

You

wait what about the hotel

Elira Pendora

what hotel? ☺️

i’m sure he wouldn’t mind letting you stay for a few days tbh

and yes I will also pay for your return trip

You

BUT YOUR LEN FUNDS……

Elira Pendora

I KNOW 😭😭😭

but it’s worth it! go get your man bitch!!

but :thonk:

I think I’ll try to pass out now since I have something scheduled tomorrow soooo

GOOD NIGHT!!!!!!!!!!!!

You

gn ewiwa :D

Well! Looks like you have a trip to prepare for.

—

The gray haired detective lounged comfortably in the AirBnB’s living room, resting on the sofa as he scrolled through Twitter. He let out a chuckle here and there, sometimes full on laughing whenever a funny meme popped up on his timeline.

“Meesta!” Elira called out to him from the kitchen island.

He turned around to look at the unusually giddy dragon. Confused, he asked, “What’s up?”

“When are you heading back?”

“Uh…” Pulling out his phone, he quickly went through his gallery to find a screenshot of his ticket. Once he found it, he examined the ticket for its boarding time and date then put it away. “In like a couple or so weeks. I thought I told you?”

“I don’t think you did,” she answered.

She motioned him to give her the device, or at least show her the screen. Of course, he complied. Though insane she is, he does have immense respect for her and Lazulight. Mysta stood up from his seat and approached her. Once in the kitchen area, he flipped his phone towards her, letting her singular visible eye take a peek.

Elira hummed as she inspected the ticket details then pulled back. “Cool. Thanks man!”

She walked away from the kitchen, carrying a glass of water upstairs leaving him even more confused.

It’s been three weeks since his unusual encounter with Elira. He sits idly at a bench by a luggage conveyor in the airport, waiting for his bags to unload from the plane. While waiting, he leans back into his seat and lets out an exhausted sigh. Luckily, no one is seated beside him, so he could just take up all the space on this uncomfortable bench. Still, he couldn’t help but reminisce onto their conversation.

Was she planning something? Was she just curious? What was she cooking?

Now, he’s back in the dreaded land of England, land of the beloathed. He pulls out his phone and immediately checks Discord. The EN server is lively as always, everyone’s practically home but the sense of energy radiates from the screen despite being digital. Like any other liver, he hops in the conversation a bit, sometimes memeing around with the others in the general channel.

Although, he noticed that your icon hasn’t appeared at least once since he landed. He was even paying attention to the top left corner of his screen for a red dot indicating your message. Normally, you’d send him a meme or something to see while he’s asleep or busy. But strangely enough, you haven’t yet. Maybe he should send you something? Or maybe call?

Mysta continues to catch up and reflect on the livers’ vacation in Japan on the server, his attention eventually caught by a familiar bag on the conveyor.

Welp. Looks like he’ll call you later.

—

Thank god Elira had the brain cells to make sure your flight isn’t after his own. Of course, she had to take in account about the flight times since you’re both literally across the globe from each other going to London. To avoid missing him right after landing, you were booked super early into the morning. But sometimes, there’s a possibility that you might be too early when he lands. And, unfortunately, that seems to be the case.

“He lands around midnight,” Elira told you on phone prior to checking in. “So you should be a biiiit early.”

Yeah, by like, 2 hours.

Man, what the hell are you supposed to do for two whole hours? Well, at least you have your phone AND your luggage. You could even people watch in the lobby. But that’s 2 hours!

What’s even more fucked up is that you can’t really use your phone unless you find the wifi. But airport wifi is kinda shitty, especially in England of all places. Talk about a British debuff.

You let out a heavy sigh and collapse into your seat. Napping is out of the question, even though you’re still kind of tired from the flight. Don’t wanna risk missing him by a smidgen, of course. So you ended up roaming around the airport for a while, getting yourself some drinks and snacks to keep you occupied while waiting for your friend. Luckily there were plenty of places to lounge while waiting, so you found a place to sit and enjoy your haul of snacks while waiting.

You did get to connect to the public wifi to look at some memes, but again, it’s the airport wifi. With how slow your phone’s been loading, you eventually disconnect yourself from the wifi after moments of mindless scrolling.

But then you realized something.

You have absolutely no idea what gate he’s in.

Panicked, you scramble to pick up your bags from your side and stand up. Shit, did Elira tell you what airline he took? God, having data in another country would be so helpful. There’s absolutely no way you’re gonna reconnect to the public wifi, it’s too damn slow! If you did have data, you’d look back to your DMs and scrub through your brief conversation from last night.

With a quick glance at your phone, the clock flashes briefly on the screen. 9:20pm, that means his flight’s arriving in less than an hour. Oh shit.

Immediately, you pace briskly throughout the terminals. As you scrounge through the crowds just to take a good look at the terminals, you ask staff for international flights from Japan along the way to help narrow down as much as possible. Throughout the search, you occasionally checked the clock on your phone. 9:40? Shit, his flight should be here now or soon.

“Mysta!” You suddenly shout, passerbys looking at you strangely as you start calling for his name. Your luggage rolls and bumps against the crevices of the floor, bags jostling as you promptly continue your search throughout the terminals. “Mysta Rias!”

Meanwhile, in the same area…

An ashy gray haired man stands in front of the carousel, waiting for the rest of his bags to drop onto the conveyor belt. He pulls out his phone from his pocket, taking a quick glance at his notifications and Discord. His mouth lowers into a frown, his brows furrowing in worry as he notices the lack of notifications from you. Did they really fall asleep?

Clink-clang!

Sunset kissed eyes shift towards the carousel at the sound. Spotting his luggage on the conveyor belt, he walks over to his revolving baggage and lifts them onto the ground. Maybe he’ll shoot you a dm later when he gets home. The handle on his large case clicks as he pulls it up, soon dragging it on its wheels behind him as he heads towards the direction of the exit.

You continue running and searching for him, frantically calling his name throughout the terminal. Your head turns left and right as you look into the surrounding late night crowd, your gaze briefly analyzing each arrival for any hint of his gray hair or his tallness. As you remain standing in the middle of the hall, looking for him, you see a tall man wearing small shades on the bridge of his nose. Gray side hairs framing his face sway into the air as he lugs his bags from the baggage claim and towards the nearest exit.

Without a second thought, your feet starts moving towards him. “Mysta—“ you call. “Mysta!”

After seconds and minutes of searching for him, calling his name and pushing through the crowd as you chase after him. Just a little more…!

“MYSTA!”

And finally… Finally, you see him.

With a clear shout of his name, the gray haired man halts.

Bewildered, he looks left and right until he turns around to see you panting. His heart stopped as he stares at you astonishly. The ambience of the crowd and muffled intercom speakers drowned out as he zoned onto you.

He looked at you.

The person standing just centimeters away from him.

The person who he thought was someone he’d never meet face to face ever.

The person who helped him find a reason to keep going even in the darkest of times.

It felt like hours just staring at each other. It didn’t even feel like there was an ocean of people swarming about and passing by. Without a second thought, Mysta slowly approaches you as if he were to scare you off. As if he didn’t want to wake up, if he is dreaming.

As he gets closer and closer, you didn’t make a move. No, you merely stared at him with wonder and excitement im your eyes.

You both stood across each other, only a few centimeters apart. He blinks several times, even pinching his wrists to disprove his thoughts. But he felt a stinging pain on each part.

An airy huff somewhat resembling a laugh escapes from him. Relief washes over him, and he whispers with a smile, “…Hi.”

You smile back.

“Hi.”

#nijisanji #nijisanji en #nijien #luxiem #nijisanji x reader #luxiem x reader #mysta rias #mysta rias x reader #luxiem x you #luxiem imagines #nijisanji en x reader #— a simple dream // writing

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fans4wga · 2 years ago

Text

Where Are My Residuals? Actors/Writers Share Horror Stories On Picket Line, Social Media

"With all the strike talk about low pay, WGA and SAG-AFTRA members are starting to play a little show me yours and I’ll show you mine when it comes to their (paltry) residual checks.

Just about everyone has a story to share about how their residuals took a serious nose dive with the advent of new media. A recent story in The New Yorker about how actors on the once successful Orange is the New Black never enjoyed a financial windfall only exacerbated the angst felt by actors and writers these days.

Here’s a sampling of their stories:

With all the strike talk about low pay, WGA and SAG-AFTRA members are starting to play a little show me yours and I’ll show you mine when it comes to their (paltry) residual checks.

Here’s a sampling of their stories:

Jason Belleville (Home Economics): “I wrote on the first season of Cobra Kai, which is one of the biggest shows in Netflix history. I think I have more money in my pockets right now than any residuals I’ve seen from that. I was also was an executive producer of a show for Netflix called Sneakerheads, which was a smaller show, but it premiered No. 1 one in a bunch of countries for a little while. I have yet to see $1 from that. And I was a writer and EP on that, in comparison. Some of them [broadcast shows he worked on] you can still get some money from but obviously, it’s not like it was. But there’s always a steady trickle that comes in to remind you that you once worked, right? The [residual] formats for cable and for networks are clear and transparent. Whether they’re as much as we want them to be or not, they’re at least something that you can rely on. Whereas, some of these YouTube shows, these [shows licensed to] Netflix. This whole strike is about having money you can rely on through the years so you can pay for your mortgage, you can take care of your kids, as opposed to opening an envelope and going ‘oh, it’s a nickel this time.'”

Aisha Tyler (Criminal Minds, The Last Thing He Told Me): I do a show [Whose Line Is It Anyway] that is double and triple and quadruple pumped in the United States and maybe 50 countries, and I don’t see any residuals. I know it’s been very frustrating to me and my co-stars. It’s theft. We generate all of the creative output on that show. We are the writers, we are the performers, we do everything and we don’t get compensated for it. I already I already threw a couple of temper tantrums so you can see I’m a bit more sanguine about it now but we’ve been fighting about it for years and it’s just pure and simple. It is creative theft."

Mike Royce via Twitter (writer-producer, One Day At A Time, Men of a Certain Age): “Some people are wondering how residuals will work for this, and since One Day at a Time had the somewhat unique experience of running on streaming, cable AND network TV, I can tell you how it worked for me. In 2020, season 4 of ODAAT was on the Pop Network (cable). Later that year CBS repeated it, because it was the pandemic and they needed programming. I co-wrote an episode with Gloria Calderón Kellett so we split the residuals. For the Pop showings I got (lower) cable residuals, but the CBS repeat paid me half the network residual (exactly what it should be for a co-written episode) … For perspective, that one CBS repeat of one episode of ODAAT paid me roughly the same as I’ve been paid IN TOTAL for one episode of ODAAT streaming on Netflix 24/7 for the last 4-6 YEARS. In other words, 1 network repeat residual = 5 years of streaming residuals. This is why we’re on strike."

Sarah Sokolovic (Big Little Lies, Homeland): “I can tell you the money I made from residuals dropped in 2015 to less than half in 2018. And the funny thing about it was I was on two, Emmy-award winning shows. It’s not on the side of the individual producers, of course. It’s really about the studios making sure that the basic contract has things in place so that actors like me benefit from their work residually over time. There was a time when I was traveling out of the country, so I had to have my mail forwarded to my mother. She was helping me with deposits, physical checks at the time. She opens a check and she goes, ‘Sarah, it’s three cents’. I said yes. She said it actually costs more to mail it.'”

Marqui Jackson (showrunner, All American: Homecoming): “Just in general, residuals are not what they used to be. You can’t depend on residuals to even begin to sustain a living in between gigs. It’s just kind of like extra money because sometimes they’re as low as a couple of bucks. I don’t think there has been a wellspring of residuals from All American: Homecoming, even though we are doing well. It is hard to fight for the right number when you don’t know what the numbers [ratings] are. That’s part of why we’re fighting because if they’re making money off on our content we should be part of it.”

John Carroll Lynch (Trial of the Chicago 7, White House Plumbers): “I’ve noticed that anything I do for streaming is not even one-tenth of the residual stream that I got for something terrible that I did. I certainly got paid more for an episode of The Visitor, which is a show I did when I first got here and only lasted one season. I got higher residuals by about 100 percent to what I get when it [was licensed to] Netflix. At some level, we’re dealing with a different group of people who have union institutional memory. Disney as a corporation has institutional memory of using unions, often much to their chagrin. That’s true of Warner Bros. and Universal. Apple, Amazon, and Netflix all come from Silicon Valley which has no institutional memory of unions. It’s time to teach them what sharing needs to be.”

Kevin Sussman (The Big Bang Theory) “For me the big issue is residuals for streaming. I’ve known that it’s been untenable for years. I was surprised that it took this long for there to be a strike like this. I’ve seen residuals for my own shows absolutely tank once they go to streaming. I’m lucky because I was on The Big Bang Theory, which was on a broadcast network for years. Since it moved to streaming [like Max and Amazon Prime], it’s night and day. I don’t see how it’s possible for an upcoming actor these days to actually be able to make a living.”

Charlie Barnett (Men in Black 3, Russian Doll): I have those check stories of like $9 coming out. Twenty years ago, if I had the career that I have today, it would be entirely different. I can’t afford to buy a house. We just moved into a smaller place in order to start saving. It would be improper to say that I don’t have a certain amount of privilege in the position that I am. I have to recognize that. But us in these positions in of height, have all the ability to fight for the people who are under us, who are still climbing. Just the background deal that they said is historically different is bullshit. I started out in background. Are you going to tell me that I’m going to sell my image in perpetuity to a studio? It’s insane. What happens to my career for the rest of my life? It doesn’t provide any safety, any protection, any ability for growth for what this industry is, for what it’s always been. These contracts that we have built off of network television have stood for so long. We have not seen any growth through the streaming platforms. It’s kind of the Wild West. The conversation point in saying over and over again, the industry we are funding and continuing to put millions and millions of dollars into, is not profiting us. It’s BS. It’s also mirrored in the fact that half of these execs, their pay is raising continually, year and year. We have not seen growth on our side. And through the writers as well.”

#sag-aftra strike #sag strike #current events #union solidarity #writers guild strike #wga strong #wga strike #writers strike

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gabriel-xander · 5 months ago

Text

Don't Forget

[Sans x Female!Reader]

42: All the Goons are Gooning-Gooning

A/N: Happy Valentine’s Day!

♪────✿⁠(⁠✧◕⁠ᴗ⁠◕✧⁠)✿⁠────♪

You had a very funny dream when you took that nap with Sans.

You were some teen boy in the kitchen, doom-scrolling on a social media app. You were getting up to go to your room to sleep, but then your dad stopped you.

“Son,” he said, “before you go to bed…”

You replied, “Yes, dad?”

“Change the coffee filter.”

*Vine Boom Sound*

“Okay.”

And then you woke up.

Dang, you didn’t get to change the coffee filter before you woke up…

You’re a terrible son.

Hm, wait. You’re sure you went to bed Big Spooning Sans, but he’s not here now.

How strange that he woke up before you did. How late is it? You couldn’t have slept for more than an hour or two, right? You checked the time before sleeping, it was barely noon when you got back.

You sit up on the bed, stretching lazily as you are in no hurry to become a functioning member of society.

Damn, you’re still sad you never got to change the coffee filter…

You get up and slip on Sans’ pink slippers because you don’t feel like finding your own. They’re really comfortable, too. It’s a little chilly, so you grab your jacket that you left on the dresser. After that, you dig out the box that was still hiding in there.

You don’t know where to really put it… Maybe you can ask Sans for a place to keep it or something. For now, you’ll leave it on the dresser. You’re not trying to hide things from Sans, and he’ll end up finding it eventually anyway.

Leaving the room, you already hear the speaking voices of Sans and Papyrus downstairs. You try keeping yourself quiet, listening in to their conversation.

“-ood as it could’ve been. we met another version of you, too.”

“WOWIE, REALLY? WAS HE COOLER THAN ME?”

“it’ll be a warm day in snowdin before anyone becomes cooler than you, bro.”

“AS PER USUAL, THAT IS TO BE EXPECTED. AND WHAT OF YOUR MISSION? DID YOU AND [Y/N] FIND WHAT YOU WERE LOOKING FOR?”

“yup. it was a little rocky at first, but we managed to get the job done,” You hear the cheekiness in his tone, “[y/n] made sure we all put our back-bone into it.”

“UGH, I’M GLAD I DIDN'T GO.” Papyrus huffs and crosses his arms, “IF THERE WAS ANOTHER VERSION OF YOU, THAT MEANS ONLY DOUBLE THE TERRIBLE JOKES.”

“speakin’ of, this wasn’t the only time we’re gonna do this. [y/n] and i might go on another trip in a month or so.”

“IS THAT SO? SO, YOU TWO WILL BE DISAPPEARING AGAIN SOON… HM?”

You lock eyes with Papyrus on your way down the stairs. Man, you were trying to sneak up on Sans but there was no helping it the taller one was facing your direction.

Papyrus beams like a thousand Suns, getting those sparkly anime eyes that he does sometimes. He runs to you with his arms spread; you feel so fucking loved.

“[Y/NNNN]!!”

“PAPYRUSSSS!!”

Papyrus lifts you into a hug, arms tight around you while you reciprocate the gesture.

You’re starting to get used to the slight weight on your soul that is Blue Magic. Papyrus will often use it on you whenever he lifts you up to make sure he never drops you. You never realized how subtle it's always been, but it’s obvious now due to experiencing it from the others.

Baby boy baby.

“I’VE MISSED YOU DEARLY SO, [Y/N]!!” Papyrus tells you with love, “IT WAS SO INCREDIBLY LONELY WITHOUT YOU!”

Sans puts his hands on his hip bones, “uh, what about me?”

“…”

“I GUESS I MISSED YOU, TOO.”

Brotherly love at its finest.

Papyrus sets you on your feet, making sure you’re stable before releasing the slight hold on your soul. He puts his hands on his sassy hips, smiling at you wholesomely.

“SINCE THE HOUSE WAS UNBEARABLY QUIET, I’VE SPENT MOST OF MY TIME WITH UNDYNE. IN FACT, I JUST RETURNED HOME TODAY SINCE YOU BOTH HAVE LEFT.”

☹️ Baby…

You purse your lips with pity, “Awe, I’m sorry, Papyrus. But how are you feeling now? You said this is the first time you’ve been back?”

“OH, I’VE BEEN FINE OTHERWISE,” As he talks, Sans walks over to regroup with you both, “I MORE OR LESS HAVE BEEN SLEEPING OVER WITH UNDYNE. TRAINING, JUST HANGING OUT, HAVING COOKING LESSONS. SHE HAS BEEN TIRED ALL DAY FOR SOME REASON, SO I THOUGHT I SHOULD COME BACK TO LET HER REST.”

Sans snorts, “bet you tired her out being over there all the time.”

You laugh too, “That’s true. You have a lot of energy that is hard to keep up with. Not in a bad way! You know I love your energy so much, Papyrus.”

“OH, I KNOW, I KNOW. UNDYNE IS MY BEST FRIEND, TRUE, BUT YOU ALWAYS SEEM TO MATCH MY ENERGY THE MOST, [Y/N],” Papyrus poses dramatically, “IF ONLY HER OPINION ON HUMANS WEREN’T SO… MURDERY. I BET YOU TWO WOULD GET ALONG GREAT!”

…Yeahhh. Sure. You love Undyne’s character in the game, but if you met her in reality…

Oof, you fear your personalities would clash too much. Especially your ideals…

“Maybe one day, but for now, ‘tis only a distant dream,” You put a hand to your chin in thought, “You know what, though? It has me thinking…”

“about what?”

“Sans, you told him that we’ll be doing this again, right?” At his nodding, you continue, “I don’t feel good leaving Papyrus here all alone. That means we should get a pet! Something to keep us all in company for these reasons!”

“uh…” Sans rubs the back of his skull, “we’re all out of the house now-a-days, though. then we’d have to get two pets to make sure they’ll always have company. but even then, we wouldn’t be able to take care of dogs with how sparse our time is.”

Papyrus scrunches up his face, “I MUST, UNFORTUNATELY, AGREE WITH SANS HERE. (“unfortunately?”) HE CAN BARELY KEEP HIS PET ROCK FED. WHAT HOPE WILL WE HAVE TO TAKE CARE OF A COUPLE OF DOGS?”

“I love dogs, don’t get me wrong. I had a big puppy back at my parents home, but that’s not what I meant.”

“??? huh?” You grin, “I was thinking of something more– independent.”

“???”

“Cats!”

──

Papyrus had rushed to his room to change into something that is “fit to find some kitties.” You and Sans are waiting for him in the living room, sitting on the couch together.

“Hey,” You tap his arm, “why didn’t you wake me?”

“you looked too peaceful, i couldn’t bring myself to do it. ‘sides, i did try waking you, but you were dead asleep,” Sans chuckles, “it was pretty impressive ‘cause that’s usually my job. still, i figured that if you were out cold, that just meant you needed it.”

You check the clock on the far wall, wincing at the time. It’s fucking passed 5 pm, you napped for 5 fucking hours. Damn, you were a lot more exhausted than you originally thought. Or maybe the magic of the DJ machine had affected you more than you thought. You should tell Sans about that, but not now.

“Hm, we should go out to eat with Papyrus for dinner,” You look over at the skeleton, “I don’t really feel like cooking today.”

“that’s a good idea. anything in mind?”

“As long as it’s a place that won’t give a fuck about me looking human, I’m fine with anything. Other than Grillby’s, of course. Your bro isn’t a fan of that place.”

“i think i know a place in the capital. wanna get dressed before we go?”

You smile at him, teasing him and poking his arm, “You saying I look too homeless to go out?”

“no way, hot stuff. ‘m asking just in case since we’re going out for dinner.” Sans bone brows twitch, “uh, crap. i-i didn’t mean it like that, swear. i was just-”

“-I know, I know. You were just being considerate,” You look down at the slippers you stole from Sans, “Do you need these?”

Sans looks down at his own shoes: blue and white with untied laces. He doesn’t wear shoes over his slippers often, but that spontaneous change worked out for you.

The only reason he switched it up now was because your slippers were still packed away in his Void, and he didn’t want you walking around with no shoes.

“nah, they look better on you, anyway.”

You shrug, “Then nah, I don’t need to… change…”

Sans raises a brow, looking over to where your eyes had suddenly moved to. In doing so, he felt a strange dread settling in his metaphorical gut. Your shoulders are shaking from trying to contain your laughter.

How could you be laughing in a time like this?!?!

Papyrus is jumping down the stairs with a new shirt over his battle body. It’s a black shirt with a white print that says “BOY”. Written on top with white marker was the word “CAT” in a classic Papyrus font. It looks really recent.

CAT BOY…

You cover your mouth with your hand, trying so fucking hard not to laugh because poor Sans looks mortified. You lean over to whisper in his acoustic meatus. (A/N: Yes, I had to look that up. Don't expect me to use that ever again, that name is so unserious)

“The internet would have a field day seeing him like that,” You snicker.

“don’t you–” Sans light heartedly pushes you away, “shut!”

“I’M SO EXCITED!” Papyrus bounces in place, “I HAVEN’T SEEN ANY CATS HERE IN SNOWDIN, BUT I HAVE DEFINITELY SEEN ONE OR TWO IN THE WATERFALLS.”

“actually, paps. before that,” Sans pats your leg and stands up, “wanna head to the capital to get something to eat?”

The younger monster tilts his head, “GO OUT TO EAT? I COULD ALWAYS COOK SOMETHING UP FOR THE THREE OF US! I HAVE NOTICED THAT [Y/N] HAS BEEN THE ONE MAKING US FOOD SINCE SHE MOVED IN. I THINK IT’S TIME I HELP OUT AS WELL.”

Hell fucking no. You’re not about to do all that. There has been an obvious reason you’ve been the cook and you’re not letting that change.

Fuck, you really need to find a day soon to tell Papyrus the truth.

“Nope, sorry,” You firmly shake your head, “I don’t wanna clean today or tomorrow. Honestly, I just want to eat out today.”

“UH… OKAY…?”

Papyrus just shrugs it off because he’s a fucking Giga Chad like. Papyrus fucking strikes a pose suddenly, one hand on the hip and the other pointing in the air. Then he twirls really fast, and suddenly the shirt is nowhere to be seen.

“That was really impressive,” You say honestly, your expression mirroring your feelings, “How’d you do that? Magic?”

“LIKE I NEED MAGIC FOR SOMETHING LIKE THAT,” Papyrus rolls his eyes… somehow, “I CAN MANAGE THAT WITH MY SHEER WILLPOWER ALONE.” You legitimately believe that. Like actually from the depths of your soul.

“are you ready then?” Sans asks.

“YEP!”

“cool beans. then we gotta take a lil’ shortcut. we gotta hide [y/n], remember?”

“I SUPPOSE SO. BUT UNDYNE IS MOST LIKELY SPENDING THE REST OF TODAY IN HER HOME.”

“still…” Sans eyes flash with something like concern when his gaze casts to you, “you don’t know who would recognize [y/n] as a human and spread the word. we’re lucky enough no one in snowdin is saying anything, but we can’t be too careful.”

Wait, that just reminded you of something. The fucking cameras. There are cameras all over the Underground, isn’t there? Sans must know about them as well, there’s no way he doesn't. Maybe he’s forgotten about them after all this time (you certainly have).

But if that’s the case, surely Alphys should already know about you by now. So why hasn’t she said anything to anyone? Or maybe she told Asgore, but even then, why hasn’t it been brought up? Unless Alphys is rooting for you the way she roots for Frisk.

Another thing you need to discuss with Sans.

Man, there is a lot you need to talk about with this guy.

Still, you’re not bringing this up since you don’t want to ruin the vibes. This isn’t something anyone needs to worry about right now.

Papyrus’s voice brings you out of your thoughts. “GOOD POINT, BROTHER. IN THAT CASE, SURE, WE CAN USE YOUR FUNKY LITTLE SHORTCUTS.”

“now, i wouldn’t say little.”

“YOU SHOULD KNOW SIZE DOES NOT MATTER, SANS.”

“…wait, what?” Sans narrows his eye sockets, “what’s that supposed to mean?”

“YOUR HEIGHT IS SHORTER THAN THE AVERAGE IN SOCIETAL STANDARDS.”

“…”

You tuck in your lips to hide your smile. Sans gives you an unimpressed look, the expression awkward since he’s still keeping up his smile.

The Comic huffs and crosses his arms, “are we going now, or what?”

“Yeah, yeah. Lead the way, bone boy.”

“READY WHEN YOU ARE, BROTHER.”

──

Sans ends up taking you both to a hole in the wall in the Capital, a small pizza establishment by a huge yellow, triangular monster. His head was a triangle and so was his body.

He called himself Top Chef and said shit like: “Mama Miba!”

Hell yeah.

You three were getting weird looks admittedly, but that was only because you all were playing with your food. The cheese was so cheesy and you managed to pull the cheese at a long distance before it finally snapped!

None of you gave a shit though, you were all having fun with each other. It was only a few days, but you did miss your Papyrus.

After you all had your fill, you’ve boxed the remaining pizza to take it to go. You paid for it since you’re fortunate enough to have your own Gold now without needing to rely on someone else.

Ah, that reminds you that you need to talk to Sans about paying rent again. You don’t think he’ll be open to it anymore since you’re his girlfriend now, but you need to find a compromise anyway.

Anyway, after the pizza dinner, Papyrus gives Sans some directions to a place in Waterfalls. When he short-cuts you all to the location, it looks unfamiliar to you.

It’s quieter yet you can see more houses along the road in the middle path. There’s a hill to the left that curves upward and to the right, leading somewhere else. There is a right path that leads to fewer houses, and the middle path seems to head towards a very quiet neighborhood. The glow stones here are smaller and more sparse as well, giving it an abandoned feeling.

“i haven’t been here in a while,” Sans whistles lowly, looking around with you.

“THIS IS A LOWER PART OF WATERFALLS, AND RATHER ANTISOCIAL, TOO. THE MONSTERS IN THIS AREA TEND TO KEEP TO THEMSELVES. IT IS NOT VERY LIVELY DESPITE BEING POPULATED, SO REALLY, UNDYNE WILL HAVE NO REASON TO BE HERE FOR WHATEVER REASON,” Papyrus poses with a firm nod of his head, “IN FACT, MOST MONSTERS HERE AVOID HER BECAUSE THEY’RE INTIMIDATED BY HER BOISTEROUSNESS.”

What the hell is that word? Is it even a real word?

“OUT OF RESPECT, UNDYNE AVOIDS THIS PLACE TOO AS LONG AS THEY DON’T ACT OUT OR CAUSE REASON FOR HER APPEARANCE.”

Huh. That’s neat to learn about the world. This is obviously another inaccessible part of the game that you can walk around freely now.

Undyne is such a hero for these monsters, huh? Even if she’s rude, she does everything for their sake and respects them deeply. Even if they’re scared of her, the monsters respect her as well.

It would be really cool if it wasn’t so dangerous and hypocritical towards you.

You grin appreciatively, “You really put a lot of thought into this, huh? I don’t give you enough credit, Papyrus. But your consideration and thinking ahead like this is really admirable.”

“wow, yeah…” Sans blinks in realization, smiling widely, “you really thought this out. even though the surprised adoption hunting was out of the blue, you thought it out while we were out.”

Papyrus, though he tries to play it cool, blushes red. He clears his throat and looks ahead, posing dramatically as his cape flows in the wind.

“HMPH! WHAT, LIKE IT’S HARD?” Papyrus isn’t bothering hiding his self-satisfied grin, “DON’T UNDERESTIMATE THE GREAT PAPYRUS!”

What a cool guy!

Papyrus does his cool anime-girl transformation twirl, his Cat Boy shirt appearing once again.

“I’M SURE I’VE SEEN AN ORANGE CAT, AND A BLACK CAT. THEY NEVER STAY TOO LONG IN ONE PLACE BECAUSE OF THIS LITTLE WHITE DOG THAT COMES BY OFTEN,” Papyrus looks back at the hill that leads up, “IT WILL BE BETTER IF WE SPLIT UP.”

Sans grimaces, “uhh…”

You shrug, “It’ll be fine, Sans. If anything happens, I’ll scream bloody murder. You’ll be able to get to me and find me with your cool shortcut bullshit.”

Hesitation is clear on his face. Looking between you and his brother, he sighs and sags his shoulders.

“alright, alright. if we find anything, let’s meet back up here,” Sans gestures to the area, “cool?”

“RIGHT-O!”

“You got it, boss!” You point to the right path, “I’ll head this way.”

Papyrus points up, “I WILL SEARCH THE AREA ABOVE.”

Sans jerks his thumb to the middle path, “guess i’ll go this way.”

“Alright!” You clap your hands, “Let’s move out, team!”

Papyrus gives you an enthusiastic cheer while Sans only weakly pumps his fist in the air. You three split up from there and begin your separate search.

Just to be on the safer side, you made sure to stick to the shadows and cave walls. There were only two other houses down this way, then it starts to branch out into a wider path.

You do, in fact, make sure to pluck a few glow stones from the walls. Not many, only two but those were pretty big, Hopefully it will be enough for the skin products, you can have Sans and/or Papyrus try them out with you!

Eventually, you reach a deadend. It’s a large field of Echo Flowers that surrounds a pond of the pretty cyan water. There are lily pads and Water Sausages in the pond, but not many.

You love the marsh, the Waterfalls are so nice.

There isn’t anything here though, you should head back and find Sans or Papyrus...

“It is peaceful here, is it not?”

“WAH!!”

You look around but immediately realize that it was literally in your head. Moreso, you recognize the voice and the laughter that is now following it.

Oh, brother! This guy STINKS!

“Sorry, I did not mean to startle you. I suppose I hadn’t made my presence known before I spoke.”

You sigh, “Geez, man. I was this close to tweaking out…!”

“…Tweak out?”

You snort, “Anyway. Yeah, this is–The Waterfalls were always my favorite.”

“Mine as well. Whenever I needed a place to think, or work something out on my own, I would venture deep in Waterfalls. There is an abandoned, lonely dock not too far from here. I would stand there, and stare into the nothingness. It was… It was always humbling.”

An abandoned, lonely dock, huh? It reminds you of Goner Kid…

“How are you talking to me like this?” You ask Gaster, “I don't even have the fragment with me.”

“I suppose it is enough already that you have found it and brought it back here to our original universe where the other piece of me is. It won’t be for long, unfortunately. I suspect after this talk, I would have exhausted too much energy. I won’t be able to communicate with you for another while.”

“So then. Will you finally tell me how this is at all possible?”

You hear some hesitation in his tone. “Alright, but you can’t get mad at me.”

Bruh. Be so fucking for real. He's such a child.

“I am not in your head, not necessarily. Well, I AM, that is how you can hear me, after all. But that is not WHERE I am. More precisely, I am with your Soul.”

…What?

Gaster must sense your anxiety as he immediately follows up with a more in depth explanation.

“I am not possessing your Soul, nor am I IN your Soul. Instead, think of it as… I am riding atop it. Simply latching on for the ride, but never in control.”

You scoff, “And you expect me to accept that explanation? How do I know that’s true?”

For a moment, you feel cold. A stark chillness that overtakes your entire body and soul. Your legs are moving–that’s not you, you’re not doing that. Your body is walking against your will, all on its own. Your body stops near the pond, sitting itself down by the cyan water.

Then, that feeling is gone. Your entire body shudders and you’re in control again.

“That,” Gaster says, though you feel some guilt that you know is not yours. That guilt you’re feeling, it belongs to Gaster. “That was me possessing your Soul and controlling it. Have you felt that at all before just this moment?”

“No… No, not once…”

“Exactly. If I were to ever take control in any way, you will know it. But I do not desire that. In truth, it is the fact that your Soul is so strong in the way that it needs to be, that I was able to hold onto it at all in the first place.”

“I… I can’t lie and say I’m not nervous about you just casually with my Soul, but…” You scrunch up your nose, putting a hand on your chest to will your heart to stop fucking racing, “I guess if you wanted to, you would’ve done something already.”

“If you want, I can share MY Soul with you so you can feel my true intentions. That way, you will know I am not lying.”

“You know what?” You throw your hands up, “Fuck it. Yeah, lemme see that shit.”

Gaster laughs and it bounces (pleasantly) in your head. Next, you feel a heavy warmth that hugs your soul in your chest.

Sincerity. Openness. Honestly. There is no desire to hurt. No desire to deceive. There is confidence and perhaps some loneliness.

Something flashes before your eyes. Your eyes are still open and yet you can see blurry, vague images before you. It’s transparent as if there is a shitty projector right before you.

Blurry figures of a short and tall figure. They seem familiar.

Another image, the same figures. They feel like Sans and Papyrus despite only being unclear silhouettes. There comes a third figure. This one is completely shrouded in smoke and glitches, but it’s pulling the two skeleton brothers into an embrace.

Then it’s gone.

You feel Gaster separate his Soul from yours. Even so, you can still feel lingering emotions.

Embarrassment, sadness, shame, longing, and a yearning to reunite.

The feelings are so strong, you feel yourself involuntarily tearing up. And these feelings are not yours.

It’s quiet.

You were… You were not supposed to see that. Gaster was so willing to be honest with you to reassure you, but he accidentally shared his deep desires, right? Somehow, you just know that’s right.

“My apologies. I hadn’t meant for that to happen.”

Before, you could only hear his voice, and feel a small pressure in the back of your head. But now, you can feel these underlying emotions that don’t belong to you. Because of that, you know of what he just said–he is being sincere.

“What just happened?” You whisper.

“As I am not at my most complete, I don’t have the strongest control of my own Soul’s happenings. Your Soul is still kept to yourself, but I believe I have shared a connection of myself to you.”

He is being truthful.

“So, it's a one-way thing?”

“Essentially, yes.” Gaster sighs, voice tinged with embarrassment, “I guess it’s for the best. I don’t have anything to hide from you, and at least this way you will know I am being truthful. After all, the Soul cannot lie.”

Again, he’s being honest.

You rub at your temples, “Ugh, this is a lot… Is this how I was able to see your fragment, by the way? When the others couldn’t? It’s because you were legit with me?”

“Not ALL of me, of course, but yes. A small, minuscule piece of myself is now with you. With your SOUL.”

“Gotta be real with you, Gaster, I like my privacy.”

“It is not as if I spy on you. Only when I sense you thinking of me, or when I sense you to be alone, do I bother with ‘entering.”

“…Like a Pokemon…”

Gaster sighs, “Yes, [Y/n]. Like a Pokemon.”

Kekeke.

You wonder… “Can you hear my thoughts?”

“Only if you want me to.”

Hmm…

‘I want to French kiss your son.’

…

You try again, but this time you want him to hear. ‘I want to hold hands with your son.’

“Uhm… Okay? Go for it, I guess…?”

Yeah, it’s true. You felt as much when he said it to begin with, but you wanted to make sure.

“It kind of feels unfair,” You admit to him, “That this emotional connection is only one-way, it feels unfair to you.”

“Do not worry. I truly have nothing to hide, and I am not interested in invading your privacy. If there is something you need for me to know, I will trust that you will tell me yourself.”

“So…” You purse your lips, staring out to the calm waters, “Is there any particular reason you showed up?”

“No, no reason at all. Answering your questions wasn't an issue, but really, I suppose I just wanted to say hello.”

He says that, but you felt that loneliness from earlier. And now too, you can still feel it.

Talking to you now has eased some restlessness within him. Even when you don’t reply and let the silence settle, Gaster feels better. Gaster feels at peace.

Being scattered across space and time, only have that 1 in a 1,000 chance to come across anyone, that must be lonely for anyone. And now that he’s with you…

You think if you were in his shoes, you wouldn’t want to let go. Even if it meant you couldn’t stay around as much as you wanted, you’d take any chance.

And now here you are, teaming up with his son just for the chance to put him back together. To bring him back “to life” and be known again. To be whole again, and to no longer just exist as a concept.

And here you are to give Gaster another chance to come back and to finally be with his creations turned children. Those two skeleton monsters who were originally created to be his assistance in his studies, but he couldn’t help but raise them with genuine love. With your help, he’ll finally get to be with them again.

It’s so hopeful and wonderful-

Ah, these aren’t your feelings. These are Gaster’s.

You don't think he's aware you can feel this. No need to tell him, you suppose.

You stay there for a few more minutes, basking in this moment. Unfortunately, you really do have to get going…

“Alright,” You speak softly under your breath, “I have to find a cat somewhere else. I wasted too much time sitting out in the open.”

As you stand up and dust yourself off, Gaster starts speaking.

“There are not many, perhaps only one or two. The cats are monsters, much like the dogs. However, they are far more domesticated than the dogs, and are willing to be taken in a home.”

“Oh, that’s perfect! I’ve had cats too growing up, so I know how to handle them.”

“You might have some luck near that guard’s house, Undyne. Since, you know,” You hear the cheekiness in his voice, “cats love fish.”

“Ughhh, okay. I guess I’ll check it out. Oh, hey!” You snap your fingers, “Can you be, like, a detector for me and tell me if she’s on the move?”

Gaster replies with confusion, “No…?”

“But you did that for me with Temmie back in UnderSwap!”

“That is only because they had my fragment, [Y/n]. And not to mention, I barely had the strength to control your Soul as a demonstration. What makes you think I can do anything else?”

You smack your lips, “Man, whatever.”

“You can simply regroup with them and tell them to find the cats for you. No need to pout.”

“Yeah, yeah, yeah. I got it, I got it.”

“I… I must go now…”

No, he doesn’t. In reality, he can spare the energy to stay around for a while longer. But he doesn’t need to say it to you.

You can feel his real reason why.

Gaster will be too sad to see Sans and Papyrus and not even talk to them. He refuses to control your body for any selfish reasons, but he is not strong enough to face them just yet.

That is why he only communicates with you. Even though Sans knows Gaster is around now, it’s just a step too far for Gaster to really interact with Sans in any way.

“That’s okay,” You whisper gently, “I’ll talk to you next time, then.”

“I–… Yes, Until next time, [Y/n].”

It’s quiet. That small pressure in the back of your head is gone now. You feel it in your Soul that the remnant of Gaster is still with you, but he’s intending to be dormant for the time being unless it’s necessary.

You… get the feeling you should wait to tell Sans. At least until the day he said he wanted to talk about everything in general. Again, assuming Gaster knows your grip about not wanting to hide things from Sans, he must be okay with you sharing this interaction.

Fuck, you should probably write down ALL the bullshit you need to talk to him about at this point.

You walk down the path to return from where you started from. To your surprise, you can already see Sans and Papyrus back at the meeting point. Sans seems to be carrying a super fluffy black cat. One of his hands is holding the cat by the scruff, and the other is holding the cat’s butt for support.

Do not let bro hold cats, what is he doing…

The kitty (it looks like a full grown cat) has warm brown eyes, though as you get closer, they appear more gold. The pupils are thin and it has airplane ears, the fluffy tail is curled up between its legs.

Poor baby. It’s not escaping Sans, though.

Sans smiles in relief when he finally notices you coming over. Ah, you see faint scratch marks on his skull.

“KITTYYYY!!” Life imitates art CaseOh, “You guys found one already!”

You hold your hand out to the cat, letting it sniff your hand first. Its ears perk towards you and start squirming in Sans’ hold. You hold both hands out, taking the kitty from your bone friend.

“this one was a pain,” Sans gladly hands off the cat to you, “it was friendly at first, but after i picked it up and walked away, it started getting angry.”

“Awe, but it’s just a babyyy!” You coo at the baby, cradling it in your arms. “Hi, babbyyy!!”

The cat meows, letting itself be held. You can feel it purring.

Papyrus huffs, “THAT IS ONE DOWN, JUST ONE MORE TO GO.”

“It might be good to check around Undyne’s area,” You hum, giving your attention to the cat, “Obviously I’m not talking about me. You two can look around.”

Sans might be jealous of the cat. “uh, why?”

“Fish.”

“…”

Papyrus shrugs, “IT CAN’T HURT TO TRY. LET’S GET GOING.”

With that out of the way, Sans escorts you to outside the Waterfalls that leads to Snowdin. And by escort, it was just a shortcut. Your home is down on your right, but you’ll be waiting right out here for the skeletons.

The black cat is by your feet, playing with the random stick you found and is waving around. It’s so cute and fluffy. Miraculously, the snow isn’t sticking to its fur. Maybe it's a cat monster thing.

“Hey, kitty. I’m going to take you home with me, okay?”

The cat meows, suddenly stopping to groom its fur.

“I’ll take that as a yes.”

When the cat starts grooming further down, you have enough courtesy to look away. Unfortunately you did catch sight of a small lipstick, you didn’t look away fast enough.

Whelp…

At least you know he’s a boy.

You toss the stick in the snow, waiting idling for who knows how fucking long. Eventually, the cat moves and sits on your feet to escape the cold snow. He’s surprisingly light, and his little toe beans and body have a light brown tone.

So demure.

“wahh.”

…?? You look down at the cat at your feet, thinking it was him. But one, that didn’t sound like him, and two, he’s looking to the left with alert ears. You follow the cat's gaze and smile at the arriving Papyrus and Sans.

Woah, their clothes are fucking torn up. Is Sans limping?? Hello????

Papyrus is holding an orange and white cat with very short hair, dangling the poor cat and the cat is just letting it happen. The cat has a white belly, snout, socks, and a striped tail. You think you see pink toe beans. It also has airplane ears, the tail lowered as it flickers and puffy with irritation.

You can tell this one is a boy too, though most orange tabbies usually are.

You snort, “What the hell happened? Did the cat win?”

“YES.”

“yes.”

The orange cat meows again, but it sounds more like a “wahh” than a meow. The orange kitty squirms out of Papyrus’ hands until he manages to jump down. He starts trotting towards you–Actually, he’s coming towards the black kitty who is waiting patiently.

“wahh.”

The cats begin rubbing against each other, and you can feel them purr against your legs. Ugh, your cuteness aggression is rising!

“Aww, I think they were mad that we were kidnapping them from each other,” You state the obvious, watching them with awe, “It’s a good thing they’re reunited now. They’ll definitely stay with us willingly as long as we keep them together.”

The ginger kitty looks up at you with his round blue eyes, pupils dilated and his tail raised high.

“wahh.”

You obviously need to name the ginger cat Childe, there’s no other option.

You could be funny and name the other one Zhongli or something, or maybe not. You’ll think of something. Or, you can let the skele-bro’s pick a name.

“Come on, kitties,” You gently step away, walking towards the house, “You’re living with us now.”

The black cat follows you first, which prompts the ginger to follow. You’re almost positive the ginger cat could care less about following you, he’s just here for his cat companion.

You unlock the door and hold it open, watching the cats readily go inside. They’re probably going to love having a proper home to live in–a warm home to live in. Hm, you should give them baths and/or check for bugs and fleas.

Bathing cats is basically a death sentence, but you’re willing to do it for their sake. They’re so cute it’s definitely going to be worth it!

…

Meanwhile, Sans and Papyrus stay rooted to where they were, watching with defeat and amazement. The cats clearly favored you immediately, while they fucking nearly died just trying to get them to begin with.

Maybe cats just don’t like bones?

But little do they know that you’re just a natural pussy magnet.

Tags:

@adriixboo

@lemonboy011

@fetusbaconegg

@fluffyart5000

#fanfiction #reader insert #female reader #don't forget fanfiction #sans x reader #undertale #sans undertale #sans #gaster #papyrus

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masons-tours · 1 year ago

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Hello 👋 I’ve been sitting on this for a few hours wondering if I should post this or not but I’ve decided fuck it so let me just double down and clear a few things up

I have repeatedly said I think they are casual but yet I’m pushing an agenda that they are in a committed relationship. I’m embarrassing & delusional because I have a feeling it might turn out to be more (we all know my feelings are always off so maybe I should just consult to the magic 8 ball). If I’m wrong & she ends up like just the others big deal I was wrong who cares.

I know I haven’t stalked anyone & I don’t stalk friends, people send me links or ask me to go look, I don’t go looking for him in tagged locations (except game day I love those arrival videos) & I don’t send people to go do it either. Everything I post is from public accounts readily available to everyone else or throwbacks found in the depths of my phone.

My blog has been the same from the start so don’t give me the moral superiority of ‘her page used to fun now it’s just gossip’ because it hasn’t changed.

I get asks so I answer them if I don’t answer people say I’m pushing a narrative to fit a fairytale when in fact it’s probably because I’ve already answered similar asks, your only “pushing back” to cause drama because you think you will catch me out on something or I’ve just run out of bandwidth to deal with the conversation, pick any of these way and I can’t win so I’ve decided not to try. It’s my blog I get to decide what I do and don’t answer if you don’t like it no one is stopping you from going away and starting your blog to talk about what you want.

I’m not some big account who controls Masonblr I’ve got 400 followers which is considerably less than most accounts so If you don’t not wish to be one of the people who follows me anymore because I irritate you so much the unfollow button is located at the top right or you can stay continuing to check up on me dissecting & complaining about everything I do including this because I know you will 👋👋👋 just know you’re wasting your own time not mine.

Please don’t go a defend me or send death threats anywhere because it makes it seem like I’ve sent you (seriously you 🤡 why would you send death threats). So……… Anyway this turned out way too long asks will be back later when I’m ready.

#I know I’ll regret this later

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readyforthegarden · 2 years ago

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Breakable Heaven - Part Two

Pairing: Danny Wagner x Female Reader

Synopsis: Being the maid of honor in your best friends wedding is already stressful enough without the best man being the ex-boyfriend who tore your heart to shreds. Stumbling across a dating app with dates for hire, you take a chance, inviting a perfect stranger to pretend to be your boyfriend for the weeklong celebrations. But how long can the charade last when the champagne starts pouring and feelings start growing?

Warnings: drinking, talk of sex, mentions of cheating. 18+ MINORS DO NOT INTERACT!

WC: 4458

“So now that we have our relationship history hammered out, are there any rules you have?” you asked, sweeping the makeup brush across your closed eyelid, leaving a pale pink in its wake.

“Rules? Oh um…” Danny leaned against the table, already showered and dressed for dinner. You were sitting in your robe and hot rollers, waiting for them to set as you did your makeup. “Really I’ve never done this before. I was just tired of my friends ragging on me for being single, so I used this as a way to go on dates without the risk of being tied down.”

“Not a fan of commitment?” Danny shrugged at your question.

“My last relationship wasn’t amazing. I just wanted to take some time for myself for a little bit, but they’re all partnered up and want to double date and feel bad leaving me out of couples activities.” he reached over, picking up one of your single shadows, popping open the top. He turned the small circular pod in his hands, watching the iridescent shimmer pick up the light coming from the windows. “They mean well, and truth be told, I do like dating, I just don’t want something serious right now.”

“I get that.” you nodded, following suit with the pale pink on the other eye. Danny watched you blend the pressed powder onto your skin before you picked up a fluffier brush with a slightly darker shade, blending it into the crease. “I’m sorry your last relationship was rough. You seem like a really great guy so far.”

“I could say the same for you,” Danny breathed out a small chuckle. “Yours was so bad you hired a fake boyfriend.” you paused your blending, glancing up at him with a smarmy look.

“Maybe we will have a fight and you’ll sleep on the couch.”

“I just mean that whatever this Gavin guy put you through must’ve been really hard.” you pushed your tongue against the back of your teeth, switching eyes again and continuing your process.

“He cheated on me.” you finally mumbled, deciding Danny should know your background a bit in order to really play your fake boyfriend. “I came home early from a work trip, got a cab home to surprise him, crawled into bed, my bed, by the way, in my own apartment, and instead of cuddling him, I was cuddling some woman who was sleeping on my pillow.” Danny grimaced, clearing his throat.

“Yeah…no I think you win.” he said as you set down your brush. Looking up at him with a tight smile, you shrugged. Danny watched as your eyes fell, your mind swirling around one of the worst nights of your life. Without thinking, he took a finger, swirling the pad of it in the sparkling shadow in his hands before using his pinky to lift your chin up. “I think your look needs some of this.” he gently tapped his finger on your left eyelid before dipping back into the shadow and going back in on the right eye. When he was done, he had you turn towards the mirror, checking his handiwork.

“I think you were right.” you smiled up at him. “Anyway, like I said earlier, I’m not trying to make him jealous. I just didn't want to face this alone. The pity looks and pats on the shoulders…no thanks.”

“I get that.” Danny closed the pod of eyeshadow, the plastic snap echoing in the room. There was a silence between the two of you as you continued your makeup, adding a thin black sweep of eyeliner across your lash lines. “I guess, no sex.”

“What?” your brows crinkled, confused at his words.

“The rules,” he set down the shadow on the table and folded his arms over his chest. “I guess having sex would muddle this business arrangement. Kissing is okay, it’s a part of the act.”

“Oh yes, of course.” you laughed, more at yourself for forgetting your own question. Looking back in the mirror, you began applying your mascara. “No sex.”

“That’s really it, I think…” Danny shrugged. “All other boyfriend duties are on the table.”

“One rule, should be simple to follow.” you agreed, screwing the top back onto your mascara tube and picking up your loose powder to set your face before swiping a nude lipstick over your lips. “Okay, give me five minutes for my hair and to get into my dress and we can head down.” Danny nodded as you got up from the table, leaving your makeup clutter all over it before turning on your heel and going into the bedroom, shutting the double doors and heading for the bathroom.

Slipping off your robe, you took your dress off the hanger on the back of the door. The dusty rose satin slid over your body as you stepped into it, tugging it up your legs and torso, sliding your arms through the thin straps. You only got the zipper part-way up your back, but moved on to your hair, figuring Danny could help you. After carefully unrolling your hair and playing with it so the loose waves sat just right as they cascaded over your shoulders, you set it in place with some hairspray and stood back, taking it all in. Danny had been right about the light smattering of iridescent shimmer on your eyelids, making your irises pop from beneath your dark lashes.

“Hey Danny?” you called out as you stepped out of the bathroom, towards the double doors. He was standing near the couch, fastening a watch around his wrist as you opened them, concentrating on not catching his arm hair in between the thick links of the band. “Hey, can you zip this the rest of the way for me?”

“Sure,” you stood in front of him, turning around and gathering your hair out of the way. Danny’s knuckles grazed between your shoulder blades as he held the top together. Feeling the other hand gently drag up the zipper, the dress tightened to your body more, and you let your free hand smooth it down over your torso. “All set.” he let go and you stepped away, turning back to face him. He had changed shirts while you finished getting ready, leaving behind the maroon button down for a black one, tucked into a pair of black trousers.

“You clean up nice.” you smiled up at him, making him grin.

“You do too.” he replied, stepping back to get a full view as you slipped into your heels. “Actually, no you need to change.”

“What?! Why?” you looked up at him incredulously as he just smirked.

“You’re gonna outshine the bride.” rolling your eyes, you leaned against the back of the couch, crossing your legs buckling the straps around your ankles.

“Save the flattery for the party.” you moved past him once your shoes were on, grabbing the clutch you’d gotten to match and grabbing a few things from your normal bag, tossing them in. “Are you ready?” Danny nodded just as your phone pinged while you reached for it, Olivia’s name popping up above a message.

‘Gavin is here, heads up.’ your heart sank a bit, knowing it was finally here. You’d successfully avoided him since your breakup, skirting out of parties and events where the two of you would have to be in the same room as soon as you spotted him.

“Are you ready?” Danny asked quietly. Looking at him, you rolled your shoulders back, putting your phone on silent and tucking it into your bag. You’d brought him here for a reason, and it wasn’t to shy away from everything Oliva, Mike, and her family had in store for the week.

“Yes.” you moved past Danny heading to the door and pulling it open with a little too much conviction, stumbling back in your heels as it swung into towards you. Suddenly a hand was on your waist, and you tilted your head back to see Danny laughing down at you.

“It’s gonna be fine.” he assured you. “Now let me be a gentleman and get the door.” You let go of the handle as Danny’s free hand took hold of the door above your lead, keeping it open for you to walk into the hallway. Making sure there was a key card in your bag, you snapped the clutch shut just as Danny closed the door to your room. It was only the two of you in the hallway, yet he still slid an arm behind you, his hand resting gingerly on the curve of your waist.

You supposed it was in case anyone came out of their rooms as you were walking, and silently gave him a gold star for thinking about that. Especially with how warm his large hand was against the cool, thin satin of your dress. Reaching the stairs, you nearly whined at the loss of his toasty grip, but instead he took your hand, helping guide you down the stone steps in your heels.

“God, you’re a perfect gentleman.” you laughed under your breath as he helped you down the last step. His hand stayed laced in yours as you made your way towards the vineyards in-house restaurant and bar.

“I may not be here specifically to make anyone jealous,” Danny leaned down to speak softly in your ear. “But I can still let everyone know that you certainly upgraded from your ex.” A pink tinge heated up your cheeks as you looked up into his hazel eyes, and he gave you a soft wink. Entering the restaurant, you were greeted by the hostess, who led you over to the large banquet table towards the back, sectioned off by an archway from the rest of the large dining room.

“Oh my gosh!” Olivia squealed when she caught sight of you and Danny, running over in her bright white off-the-shoulder cocktail dress. A string of pearls rested along her collarbone delicately, matching the large studs in her ear. Her hair was now pulled back in a low bun, showing off her tanned and toned shoulders. “You look so pretty! And Danny, you look very handsome.”

“Thank you,” Danny smiled, smoothing a hand down his black button down. “I had to try and compare to her.” he squeezed your hand gently, tugging you into his side. You let yourself wrap an arm around him, hugging him and looking up, playing your part of the happy couple.

“Oh stop, baby.” you giggled. “You’re too sweet.” Danny just leaned down, rubbing the tip of his nose against yours.

“Both of you stop it,” Olivia jokingly said. “Mike and I are supposed to be the ones who are so sickeningly in love, you’re gonna make us look bad.”

“Can’t help it,” Danny laughed. “But we’ll try and tone it down.”

“I’m just joking!” Olivia waved her hand dismissively in front of her face. “Anyway, come on, they just brought out the hor’devours.” Danny kept his hand on your back, guiding you as you both followed Olivia to your seats. It seemed like you were the last ones to show up, the table nearly full. You temporarily departed from Danny’s side, saying hello to Olivia’s parents, thanking them for everything they’d done for the wedding so far. As you walked back to the empty chair, you noticed Danny still standing. You gave him a questioning look as he just smiled before pulling out your chair for you.

“Do you think we’re laying it on a little thick too soon?” you leaned into him once he sat down, whispering lowly.

“If anyone asks, I’m just nervous and trying to make a good impression on your friends.” Danny whispered back. “Go with the flow, okay?” Nodding, you turned back to the table, noting your wine glass had been filled with a white wine during the small conversation. As you picked up the glass to take a sip, your eyes caught another’s. Bright green eyes stared at you from under light brown hair, unmistakable as you had stared into those eyes for nearly five years.

“That him?” Danny leaned in close, reaching over for his own glass of wine. Tilting your head you confirmed it quietly. Danny cleared his throat, leaning back in his chair as he sipped the wine, his left arm coming to rest on the back of your chair. It took a moment for you to gauge, but you noticed that you were suddenly a few inches to the right of your place setting, closer to Danny’s side.

“Did you just-” you were cut off by a waiter reaching between your bodies, setting a dinner plate on the charger three inches to your left. Pan-seared scallops sat on a bed of mixed greens, a lemon infused garlic butter sauce drizzled on top with a side of pasta tossed in the same sauce. Mouth watering, you nearly groaned out loud when Mike stood from his seat, tapping the side of his knife against his wine glass.

“Now that everyone is here, I’d like to say a few words.” he began, smiling at everyone. “Olivia and I are so grateful to everyone for coming to help us celebrate this week. It truly means the most to us that our closest family and friends are here to support us as we approach our wedding. We have a lot of fun in store for you all, and Olivia will email out the itinerary to you all tomorrow morning. But for tonight, let’s enjoy our dinner, have a few drinks, and reconnect.” feeling a set of eyes on you made your skin prickle, and you attempted to ignore it, raising your glass with everyone else in cheers to Mike’s speech.

Everyone was quick to tuck into their food, the scallops just barely steaming still on the plates. A low hum of general chatter filtered through the dining room, friends and vaguely familiar strangers getting acquainted. It wasn’t until you had taken an entire forkful of pasta into your mouth that Olivia’s mom cleared her throat, directing her attention to you while saying your name.

“How did you and Danny meet?” your mouth worked overtime to chew quickly, but you didn’t need to worry, Danny was ready to perform.

“We met at a bar my band was playing at.” Danny answered, a grin on his face. “I saw her almost as soon as she walked in, and kept looking at her from my kit. I almost yelled at our singer to move when he blocked her.”

“You’re in a band?” Olivia’s voice was surprised, her foot coming to tap on yours from across the table.

“Yeah, I’m a drummer.” Olivia turned to you directly, her eyes gleaming.

“A drummer?!” she mouthed with a wink, the tip of her shoe jabbing at your ankle as she winked and wiggled her eyebrows.

“When we were done with our set, I lost her. I looked crazy going around the bar looking for her. I gave up and went to get a drink, thinking she had gone home, when the bartender set a beer in front of me and told me it was covered. I asked by who, and he nodded behind me and when I turned around, there she was, holding another one.” Danny’s left hand reached out, resting on top of yours on the table and squeezing gently.

“We spent the whole night talking, I’m pretty sure his bandmates are still mad they had to take apart and load his drum kit by themselves.” you laughed as Danny shrugged, making a very unconvincing sheepish face. “Before we left I just knew I had to see him again, so I asked him to dinner and now we’re here.”

“And how long have you been together, now?” Mike asked curiously. Shit, you hadn’t thought to nail down a timeline in your talks earlier.

“Oh, um….” you floundered, looking over to Danny with wide eyes. He met you with a similar expression, his mouth open.

“I think it’s about six months, now?” Danny’s face changed to look like he was trying to figure out a complex math equation. You nodded along, turning your hand around under his and slipping your fingers through the spaces, squeezing back.

“It feels like twenty seconds,” you smiled, keeping your eyes on him in case your lie wasn’t convincing.

“Sometimes twenty years,” Danny laughed, leaning over and pressing a kiss to your forehead. It was something innocent yet still in front of all of those people, made you blush, a small flutter in your heart that was hard to ignore accompanying it. More ankle kicks from across the table had you turning to Olivia who was grinning.

“That’s how it feels with Mike!” she enthusiastically replied, wrapping her arms around one his, hugging him. “Like we’ve known each other forever and not long enough at all.” Mike copied Danny’s actions, kissing Olivia’s temple with a smile.

“And Gavin, when is your partner getting here?” Olivia’s mom turned to her right, leaning forward to speak down the table. You couldn’t decide if you should pay attention to him when he spoke or keep focused on your plate.

“She’ll be here on Wednesday, she had a few work meetings she couldn’t miss.” Gavin answered, and it was then you looked up, noting the empty seat next to him.

“And when did you two meet?” Olivia’s sweet smile was gone, replaced with one that made you reach your leg out under the table and give her shin a swift, hard nudge.

“About a year ago.” Gavin sniffed, now doing everything in his power to avoid your eyes.

“Are you sure?” Olivia pressed. “I feel like you’ve been with Naomi for longer.”

“Liv,” you heard Mike express her name lowly, like a warning, and you stared at her, shaking your head as imperceptibly as possible. She and Mike exchanged words quietly with their heads together before she rolled her eyes and shot you an annoyed look.

“It’s been a year.” Gavin confirmed quietly, glancing at you quickly then back to his plate. An awkward lull settled over the table until one of the other groomsmen spoke up, asking Danny about his music, picking the chatter back up.

After dinner, most everyone made their way over to the bar area, having a few more drinks before ending their night. Danny found himself leaning against the bar, watching you and Olivia talk to a few other bridesmaids. Something was happening that you were excited about, the way your eyes were dancing as you spoke, a smile on your face.

He found himself thinking about how pretty you looked, how you were glowing under the warm lighting. Your waves had become more loose over the evening, cascading down your back, a slight frizz appearing from the humidity of the room. Your cheeks were still blushed with pink, more from the wine in your glass now than early when it had been from his pretend affections. How anyone could treat someone so stunning so poorly, Danny couldn’t answer. If you had been his, he wouldn’t do anything to risk losing you.

“Can I get a scotch?” Danny glanced next to him, seeing Gavin addressing the bartender, who had just set Danny’s beer bottle down. Gavin glanced at Danny, who was now focused again on you. “A word of advice, don’t get too attached.” It took Danny a moment to realize Gavin was speaking to him, and he decided not to even look at him when he replied.

“I don’t recall asking for any advice.” Danny hummed, taking a sip of his cold beer. “I will, however, ask you not to comment on my relationship.” if Gavin heard him, he acted like he didn’t, continuing.

“Listen, as someone who has first-hand knowledge, it’s just not going to be worth it.” Gavin shrugged. “She gets boring fast. I’m surprised we lasted as long as we did.” Danny set his beer down on the bar, and finally turned to Gavin, keeping himself level as the anger in his body radiated. Who was this man to speak about you this way, after what he did?

“I’ll say this once and won’t repeat myself.” Danny stepped closer to Gavin, who stood squarely, barely coming to Danny’s chin in height. “Keep her name out of your mouth this week. Do whatever you have to do as the best man next to her, but if I hear you talk shit about her, or do something to her, I won’t use my words to warn you. Got it?” The two men stared each other down, or well, Danny stared Gavin down as Gavin glowered up at him.

“Everything okay?” you broke the two from their showdown as you set your empty wine glass on the bar. Danny smiled at you, wrapping an arm around your waist and pulling you into his side, planting a kiss on your lips.

“Just fine, honey” he answered when he pulled away, smiling at your surprised and breathless expression. “Right Gav?”

“Right.” Gavin nodded, taking the scotch the bartender set for him and walking away as Danny shot him a glare.

“What was that?” you asked Danny, letting him continue to hold you. Danny tore his eyes away from Gavin’s retreating back, and down to you again, shaking his head and taking another sip of his beer.

“Don’t worry about it.” he replied. Deciding to trust him, you shrugged and shook your head when the bartender asked if you wanted another drink.

“I’m actually getting really tired, I’m going to head upstairs.” Danny discarded his half full beer, nodding.

“I’ll come with you.” Much like before, he helped you up the stone staircase, holding your hand to keep you from wobbling after your few glasses of wine. Once back in the room, you leaned against the arm of the couch in the living area, unbuckling your heels and tossing them away from you, one by one.

“Danny, could you?” turning your back to him, you swept your hair over your shoulder, showing him the zipper. Without a word, Danny moved to you, dutifully pulling down the zipper until the light pink lace of your strapless bra peeked out from the split material. “Thanks,” he watched as you moved towards the bedroom, going to change and closing French doors behind you. Flicking the bedside lamp on, you began to undress.

As you slipped out of your dress and grabbed the sleep clothes you had laid out, you called out to him.

“So what did Gavin say to make you look like you wanted to launch him into the next decade?” you asked, unclasping your bra and letting it fall to the floor, sighing softly in relief. Outside the doors, Danny leaned against the back of the couch, crossing his arms over his chest.

“It really was nothing,” Danny tried assuring you. He didn’t want to repeat what the bastard had said. He wanted to spare your feelings after a hit so soon into the trip.

“Danny, I’ve known you for twelve hours and I can already tell you’re lying.” you laughed softly as you pulled on the soft cotton sleep shorts and tank top, moving to the bathroom and grabbing a washcloth and your makeup remover. Opening the French doors, you rolled your eyes at a still silent Danny, moving around him and plopping on the couch.

“He said he was surprised you two lasted as long as you did and that he got bored with you fairly quickly.” Danny kept his head down, not daring to turn and face you. He didn’t want to see the look on your face after a blow that low.

“Huh,” was all you said, nearly forcing Danny to turn his head to you.

“That doesn’t make you mad?” you just shrugged, focusing on dampening your washcloth with makeup remover.

“I mean, I just think that’s rich, considering most of our relationship, he was a full-time unpaid intern and I was working two jobs on top of classes to support us both.” you scoffed, wiping your face with the washcloth.

“Really?” Danny asked, unfolding his arms and turning around fully, grasping the back of the couch.

“Yup.” you replied, popping the ‘p’. “Well, I shouldn’t say it like I solely supported us. His dad gave him an allowance every month, and Gavin made sure we were stocked up on video games, designer sneakers and literally anything other than heat, water, electricity and groceries.”

“Can I please go deck him?” Danny sighed.

“As much as I would like to say yes, and Olivia would agree, I don’t think she’d like him to have a black eye in her wedding photos.”

“What if I could promise to get a really great editor on those photos?” Danny attempted to reason as you shook your head.

“Maybe during the reception.” Danny patted the couch victoriously before turning and going into the bedroom himself, closing the doors behind him as you continued wiping your face. Danny changed quickly, opening the doors just as you were ready to wash your face. The two of you moved around each other in a comfortable silence, until you ended up brushing your teeth side-by-side in the bathroom. It wasn’t until you were pulling back the blankets on the bed that Danny paused and spoke again.

“I can sleep on the couch still, if you don’t feel comfortable sharing the bed.” he stood in his pajama pants and t-shirt, slightly unsure.

“This isn’t the first time I’m crawling into bed with a stranger.” you joked, fluffing one of the pillows on your side. “I’m comfortable with it as long as you are. If it makes you feel better, we can build a pillow wall between us.”

“No, that’s okay.” Danny adjusted his own pillows, settling into his side of the bed. The two of you settled in, and you had to admit you were relieved to see that with both of you in the bed there was still enough room that you could stretch out and barely be touching the other person.

“Goodnight Danny,” you murmured as you reached over and turned your bedside lamp off. You shuffled under the covers, getting comfortable, hearing him do the same.

“Goodnight honey.”

“Honey?”

“I like that name for you, when we’re with your friends.” you heard him shrug under the covers. “Is that okay?” you smiled softly in the dark, it’d been so long since someone had given you a pet name. Even if it was only a ruse, it made your heart flutter.

“Yeah, I’m okay with that.”

“Perfect. Goodnight, honey.” and with that, you and Danny drifted off to sleep.

Taglist: (feel free to add yourself!)

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