#anyway. i really need to finally learn how to do eureka so i can have a chance :') to get this top :')

[coldshrugs]

glamtober #05 - tank

the scorpion harness is the item i want most in this game. i haven't knuckled down to do eureka though. one day... but until then, i dream of the fending and maiming glams i'll make with it. io's got next to no tits, but even she deserves this sideboob.

items used:

weapon: deepshadow axe head: exarchic circlet of fending (general purpose jet black) body: scorpion harness (undyeable) hands: deepshadow gauntlets of fending (undyed) legs: pummeler's cuisses (undyed) feet: deepshadow sollerets of fending (undyed)

[eristic-kaleidoscope]

Burdened Knowledge | Erik A | Trial 3 Vote Reaction | Re/ATTN: Eureka

Erik A just stares at END as she starts to yell at him for the situation, but in truth, he just takes it. It’s nothing he can’t handle, and he does at least perfectly understand the desire to stay in the dark, to have ignorance be bliss or at least just a slight bit less pain. He doesn’t agree, of course, because he’s always been one to look and know more than he should when it comes to these things, to dig deeper than was a good idea for him to and learn far too much. In this case though, his desire rather than to force others to think harder about this had been to make sure they didn’t come to the wrong conclusion here, to be sure they weren’t missing some final trick, as well as simply to give his own thoughts to Eureka herself just as everyone else had been able to do.

But he can tell that END is angry and hurt and grieving in general, so even if he’s a convenient target for her anger to come out at too, he’ll take it with only a nod of acknowledgement to her, before finally… after far too long of a pause, they get their answer.

The votes are tallied, almost everyone on the same page, and the answer is revealed to be correct. For now, no one else but a single perpetrator would be dying, and while he certainly isn’t happy that anyone is about to be at all, at least it wasn’t the worst possible outcome. And then, of course… Eureka speaks.

He can’t say he didn’t see some of it coming, at least in part, but the extent that Eureka’s hatred and obsession with her goal had gone was still quite the thing to hear, and though he doesn’t show it externally in the least, a chill still goes down his spine for a moment thinking about what could have been if she had succeeded. Christ, she really was trying to get that many people killed, huh?

Erik A registers other people talk, his own boyfriend come to stand beside him, who he acknowledges with a nod. Talking can wait for later though, when it wasn’t the final 15 minutes they’d have before Eureka’s death.

For a moment longer before he speaks, ruminating silently for a bit over what and how much he wanted to say here. So, first…

“...You said it before once in the group chat, and so did I. That even if you have the same genes, you aren’t your mom or your sisters. You’re your own person with your own goals, just like both of the sisters you have left are still their own people too. You were trying so hard to kill a 15 year old who’d never done a single thing to you, not the woman who killed your girlfriend, or who attacked you in the past.

I doubt you’ll believe me if you’re already this convinced that she’s the same as your dead siblings, but the girl formerly known as ‘Eureka 05’ wasn’t a threat to you.”

It’s stated plainly, rather than in a tone of accusation. An observation and statement of the truth as he knew it to be. And he could say more. SO much more, about the nature of just what Eureka had tried to do here, and of the sorely misplaced wrath that she was so clearly full of. About how his own sister was in danger here, along with everyone else that people both care for and despise in some way. Eureka had been willing to take down 12 other unrelated people in the process, too. 14, counting both Ae-ra and her own life that was going to be lost for this too.

But he doesn’t think there’s much point, right now, and he doesn't feel the need to make any of this about him. And even if he’d lost someone he’d considered close to too with Ae-ra’s death, he was more than fine to have the focus be off of that as usual, anyways. He had plenty of things he intended to keep to his grave, so just a little more unsaid for now wasn’t difficult for him. Despite everything about him, he wasn’t actually bad at restraining himself about things that actually mattered.

And as it happens, other people had some of that covered anyways, as Erik A had watched All That happen between END and Eureka as well, not even planning to stop it. Not killing her? Good enough, right now. After END’s done with what she’s had to say to Eureka, he keeps looking at her as if she wasn’t just jostled around, continuing with what else he'd wanted to say.

“Welp. Thanks for the medical help before, and the fun shit we got to do at least. I would say I hope the chance for this was worth it for you, but I won’t lie like that, so y’know. I wouldn’t wish the shit you’ll be going through here on anyone, but still. Fuck you.”

He feels like that last part's more than a little fair given the circumstances. It’s almost casual in tone, despite everything happening, but he means both ends of the things he said too.

“That said… Yeah, if Erisu wants the taser, I can do that. Or if you want any other shit given to anyone here or… done or said out in the world too to anyone you care about or whatever else, just say so, I guess. I can make it happen. Or try to, at least, you know how it is.”

Because even if he was far from happy with her, he’d still honor that much, at least, as long as it wasn’t a supremely fucked up request. 

With his piece said, he falls silent to let anyone else with a piece to say do what they want to before the execution, or for Eureka herself to do or say what she will. He’s watching, though, and no matter what happens here, he’ll keep doing it as this continues too.

[biggest-gaudiest-patronuses]

I suspect quite a few people on this site don’t realize they are struggling with the effects of chronic trauma. In particular I think more people need to learn about the symptoms of C-PTSD.

Distinct from general PTSD, Complex PTSD is caused by prolonged, recurring stress and trauma, often occurring in childhood & adolescence over an extended period of time. There are many risk factors, including: abusive/negligent caregivers, dysfunctional family life, untreated mental/chronic illness, and being the target of bullying/social alienation.

I’m not a mental health professional and I’m not qualified to diagnose anyone, I just remember a million watt light bulb going off in my head when I first learned about C-PTSD. It was a huge OH MY FUCKING WORD eureka moment for me—it explained all these problems I was confused and angry at myself for having. The symptoms that really stood out to me were:

Negative self-perception: deep-seated feelings of shame, guilt, worthlessness, helplessness, and stigma. Feeling like you are different from everyone else, like something is fundamentally ‘bad’ or ‘wrong’ with you.

Emotional avoidance of topics, people, relationships, activities, places, things etc that might cause uncomfortable emotions such as shame, fear, or sadness. Can lead to self-isolation.

Learned helplessness: a pervasive sense of powerlessness, often combined with feelings of desensitization, wherein you gradually stop trying to escape or prevent your own suffering, even when opportunities exist. May manifest as self-neglect or self-sabotage. (I remember watching myself make bad choices and neglect my responsibilities, and having no idea why I was doing it, or how to stop myself. Eventually I just stopped caring, which led to more self-neglect.)

Hyper-vigilance: always feeling “on edge,�� alert, unable to relax even in spaces that should feel safe. May be combined with an elevated “flight” response, or feelings of always being prepared to flee. (I used to hide important documents and possessions in a sort of emergency go bag, even when I was living alone and there was no logical reason other than it made me feel “prepared.”)

Difficulty regulating emotions: may include mood swings, persistent numbness, sadness, suicidal idealization, explosive anger (or inability to feel anger and other strong emotions), inability to control your emotions, confusion about why you react the way you do.

Sense of foreshortened future: assuming or feeling that you will die young. Recurring thoughts that "I'll be dead before the age of 30/40/18/21 etc." As a teenager I used to joke darkly that I didn't plan to live past 30—not because I planned to end my life, but because I simply couldn't imagine myself alive and happy in the long-term. I couldn't imagine a meaningful future where I wasn't suffering.

Emotional flashbacks: finding yourself suddenly re-experiencing feelings of helplessness, panic, despair, or anger etc, often without understanding what has triggered these feelings. Often these flashbacks don’t clearly relate to the memory of a single event (since C-PTSD is caused by repetitive events, which can blur together), making them harder to identify as flashbacks—especially if you’ve never heard the phrase “emotional flashback” and don’t know what to look for. For years I just filed it under “sometimes I overreact/freak out randomly for no reason, probably bc I am just a terrible human being.” (It turns out there was very much a reason, it was just hidden in the past. I have since learned to be kinder and less judgemental towards myself.)

There are other symptoms too, here are more links with good info.

I’ve been meaning to write this post for awhile, because I’ve noticed that a lot of the people I interact with online have risk factors and experiences similar to mine. These include:

growing up in a dysfunctional household

having caregivers who do not fulfill basic emotional needs (do not provide consistent positive attention, encouragement, support, acceptance, communication, a sense of safety and security)

on a very related note, experiencing neglect or abuse at the hand of caregivers or other adults. I also want to emphasize the significance of emotional abuse, since it is hard to recognize, easy to ignore, and utterly rampant in so many communities. In general, family dysfunction, abuse & neglect are quite difficult to identify when you are a child/teen and that is the only “normal” you have known.

(For example, in my family it manifested as an emotionally absent father I was vaguely frightened of, constant nagging from a hypercritical mother, and a house full of people who yelled and screamed at each other. It took me years to realize I grew up in an abusive environment, because there was no physical violence, because I participated in the fighting, and because my behavioral problems made me the family scapegoat. And I internalized that guilt: I thought I was the problem. But no—I was a child, and I deserved not to grow up in a household full of anger and fear and negativity. You deserved that too. You deserved to grow up safe and loved and treated with kindness.) 

anyway back to more risk factors:

being neurodivergent or chronically ill (especially without receiving proper treatment/support/accommodation)

being queer (especially in a conservative or undiverse community, or without the support and acceptance of family & friends)

being the target of bullying or harassment (from peers, teachers, authority figures, irl, online, etc)

being isolated or alienated from peers, from family, from your wider community.

growing up with chronic anxiety, discomfort, pain, fear, or distress caused by any of the above and more.

There are many other experiences that can cause chronic trauma, but these are some particularly common ones I see people in my own community struggling with. And I want more people to be aware of this, because we’ve been taught to ignore and second-guess the significance of our traumatic experiences. We’ve been taught to feel guilty for our own pain, because “other people aren’t struggling, so I shouldn’t either” or (contradictorily) “other people have it worse, so I shouldn’t complain.” But that’s not how it works—you are not other people, and you deserve to have it better. We all deserve better. We deserve to be happy. We deserve not to be in pain.

I used to think I couldn’t have a trauma disorder because (I argued in my head) the things that happened to me weren’t that bad. And then I spent five years in therapy learning to accept the full extent of my issues. I’ve since learned that trauma comes in many forms, and can happen quietly, invisibly, silently, chronically, and usually without the survivor being aware of the long-term repercussions of what they are surviving. That revelation comes later, after you have survived and must instead learn to live.

Finally, no single type of trauma is more real or harmful than any other. Severity is measured by the way the individual is affected, and the same situations affect different people in different ways. Because no one gets to choose how their brain reacts to trauma. No one gets to choose their hurt—otherwise there would be a hell of a lot less hurting in the world.

We can, however, choose to seek help. We can learn to recognize when something is wrong, we can learn when to reach out to professionals, and we can learn to educate ourselves on our injuries.

And gradually, we can learn to heal.

(posts like this brought to you by ko-fi supporters)

[hychlorions]

hi hello do you have any totally not self projection (haha twirls hair) headcanons for apollo thee justice or klavier babygirl gavin,,

hahaha…. oh yes…. all of my headcanons are totally. not self-projection…. so let's start with saying i've already posted some here and here (the first one isn’t really hcs specifically but there are some sprinkled in there)

anyway. i have no idea how to. yk. format any of this so i’m just gonna give a list (with pictures also).

this got long so under the read more once again !

so first up are the ones for apollo. we have a lot for him bc he’s just like me fr 🥴:

i am finally going to elaborate on the boxed milk that’s mentioned in the second link

used to cry at seeing strays bc he felt sorry for them and wanted to take them in

just absolutely hates cucumbers. can't stand them at all. he even remotely tastes one and/or bites into it and feels cucumber texture he will Gag

what is apollo justice’s greatest achievement and why is it getting the highest score in his class on his philosophy exam on only two hours of sleep

usually forgets he’s scared of needles until he needs to get a vaccine or a blood test and then it’s too late—

scared of mascots. usually forgets about this too until there’s a mascot in front of him and then it’s too late—

scared of frogs. he wasn't always though. he's still not sure why he developed the fear

would actually genuinely want to dress like klavier but never really has the time or the eye for picking out the wardrobe and is honestly scared abt buying styles that aren’t tried and true on him (bc if it DOESN’T LOOK GOOD then he WASTED MONEY). but once he does get the right clothes and he goes out like that it’s like. oh god why did i do this. then he gets home and it’s like. why was i so worried. i’m HOT

he definitely just got into astrology bc he confused it with astronomy as a kid trying to relate to clay. actually he doesn’t even really believe in that stuff it’s just something interesting to read about when he’s bored

THIS ONE. there’s actually more to it but it’s more klavier-focused than apollo so that’s between me, god, and my friend

some gender things bc i ended up elaborating a lot on this once: • here’s a quote from something unfinished, said to trucy and athena as they talk about things they never got to do as kids (such as sleepovers and makeovers, which they wanna drag apollo into. inevitably.): “I mean… after growing up in Khura’in I never really thought about makeup,” Apollo admits. “But then I moved here, and I got older here, and then it used to feel like something I had to learn so I could fit in. Then, you know… I didn’t need or want it anymore. So I’m decent! Out of practice, but decent.” • i like to think that apollo's trans experience has been largely rooted in gender euphoria rather than dysphoria? as in he's never felt connected to his agab so being referred to as such before he transitioned (socially or otherwise) has been :/ at most but when a store clerk called him sir by accident once it was like a eureka moment

ok now klavier time:

when they were kids kristoph once made up a game where he would throw rocks at klavier. that’s it that’s the whole game. like this

he had. so many teeth problems. he got braces as a kid and he ended up almost needing them again in his early 20s but nah he ended up just getting like. veneers and retainers.

will spend half an hour picking bell peppers out of his food if he has to. just to get rid of them all. terrible stuff and the taste is always so overpowering

absolutely obsessed with food as a metaphor for love

collects soaps and perfumes and colognes. basically anything nice-smelling he will absolutely love so it's easy to get him birthday gifts when you don't know what else to get him

you can put him in a situation where all of the signs will point to a very obvious conclusion regarding another person (can be about anybody) and he’d be like “unless they confirm that themselves i’m not gonna act on it >:(“ this has always led to more situations. naturally. he's not stupid for this btw there's just a lot of self doubt going on

scared of restringing guitars. those high-e strings are no joke :”)

“so what instrument do you play?” “well guitar of course. a recorder if it counts. i taught myself some songs on the piano, i know a bit of bass, the ukulele, some violin training, the melodica but that’s just because i know piano—“ “okay, okay, i get it.”

for his highschool music class he aced a hearing test and people thought he had perfect pitch. it was actually because he was comparing all the notes to the opening g note in welcome to the black parade—

oftentimes he picks up hobbies that kristoph tries out bc he thinks it’ll make kristoph think he’s cool. ends up being better at it than kristoph lol

when he first found out he was bi he cuffed his jeans soooo much bc he thought it was a cool identifier. no babe it’s just a dumb thing people say……

accidentally figured out gender in the cemetery once. then like. only realized he did that about 10-ish years later? yeah 🥴 has anyone else been both everything and nothing and something else entirely all at once. klavier has. and he still is

u didn’t ask, but klapollo all together:

apollo: why does my back hurt so much i am so young and so healthy… also apollo: sleeps like this

(side note that while i may have drawn klavier but even if you remove him from the equation apollo will still sleep like that. klavier does hog the bed a lot though)

this one.

klavier has this hair routine once a week where he has to sit in the shower and wait for the product to set for like 10-15 minutes. before they move in together he'd have apollo to text while waiting bc he's the only other person who's awake since klavier likes to shower early. when they move in together... klavier still texts him lol he has no shame

jacket-stealing/giving is something that can actually be so personal. sorry i've just been obsessed with klavier giving apollo his jackets lately. later he'll find out he can steal apollo's hoodies too bc he buys them in XL (they're comfier)

one last. discord screenshot.

[iwishicanbeagoodpianist]

the Wifilcon and the Winter Router

Pairing: Bucky Barnes x OC/Reader Summary: When Bucky learns that his neighbor has been stealing his wifi for months. Warnings: None A/N: I'm not a fanfic writer at all, this, like all my stories, are adaptations to fanfics. My original stories are not written in english, so this is also a translation. please do not repost my work

For an instant, Bucky thought that the knocking he was hearing was coming directly from his head, I mean, it wouldn't be the first time his mind played tricks on him, but he realized that the sound was actually coming, unluckily for him, from his apartment door. Oh no no no no no no no, I just got back from putting up with Sam for almost 6 full weeks, I don't need interaction with more people for now.

Bucky thought for a minute to ignore the sound, to wait for the person to give up and leave, anyway he didn't spend many days on this apartment, almost no one had seen him leave or enter the building and he had no contact with the neighbors, only with the lady on the 7th floor who once lost one of her cats, which ended up in Bucky's apartment, accidentally. Not that I found the cat in the alley and actually brought him to my apartment, it doesn't mean that I stole the cat, he was in the street by himself, I rescued him.

When the banging on the door stopped and Bucky thought he could breathe calmly again, a voice between altered and annoyed was heard all the way to the living room where he was sitting trying to overcome his third panic attack and fourth existential crisis of the day .

-"I know you're in there! I saw you coming in a few hours ago! I've been waiting for days for you to come back!"-

More out of instinct than anything else, Bucky pulled out the knife hidden in his right boot as he slowly backed away from the door. Do I really have a spy as a neighbor? Should I call Sam? Is he in danger too? Never mind now, you need an escape route Bucky, concentrate, third floor, window to the alley, 2 minutes max, the bike is parked far away, I'll have to run, but to where, rendezvous point, safe place, think....

- "for God's sake, open the door, I need you to pay for your fucking internet plan, I'm in the last season of my series and I need to know if Carolina died or not!"-

- "The internet?"- Between the andrenaline from escaping and the shock of not understanding what was happening Bucky spoke louder than an assassin, with over 60 years of experience, should have spoken. Oh, shoot.

-"Yes! Your wifi, I need it to finish watching my series"-

Whispering "wifi" to himself, Bucky tries to remember where he has heard that word before, this is what I get for never listening to Sam when he talks to me. But before he can continue his mental analysis of all the conversations with Sam about such stupid things as his favorite American Football team, the New Orleans Saints, that I remember, to how Antonio could possibly leave María on the last episode of the 6 o'clock telenovela of which Sam is a fan, his apparent "neighbor" spoke up again:

-"Jesus Christ, can you open the door? So we can resolve this like adults"-

Bucky resigned to the fact that he has given his position to the "enemy", walks to the door and opens it waiting for his death. Well at least if I die I won't have to listen to Sam again talking about Antonio and María. But on the other side of the door, there was a woman, who in her pajamas, very unthreatening but cute, was watching him as if he were a ghost but still with defiance in her eyes, in one breath she introduced herself and continued her speech about her complaint to Bucky:

-"As I was saying, I need you to pay for your internet"-

-"I'm sorry, but I'm not sure I understand what you mean"- mumbled Bucky.

- "Good Lord"- To Bucky's surprise his neighbor, pushes him and enters his home, well not so much a home home, more like the headquarters of his secret club, of which he is the president, vice president and only member, the point is that it is his place, where he can (and wants to be alone), as she lives here. This must be a dream, maybe I hit my head too hard in the last mission and I am unconscious in the hospital.

Crossing the room, Bucky's unwanted visitor looks around searching for something while whispering the words "I see you are quite minimalist, but maybe this is too much, someone urgently needs to look for some inspiration on Pinterest". She stops abruptly in front of the shelf where, in theory, a TV should go, while shouting: "EUREKA", she bends down and picks up a white device which has two antennas and like a million little blinking lights, damn, that looks like something out of a spaceship, I'm being watched by aliens? I'm being spied on by Kree?

-"This is your router, this is where the internet signal comes from, which I need you to pay for so I can finish watching my series"-.

Bucky, still in shock for the third time in less than 15 minutes, as he processes the idea that perhaps Thanos' unknowing twin is spying on him for a second invasion of earth and revenge for his brother's death. He can only nod to his now more relaxed and happy neighbor.

-"Perfect, thanks! I need to check the food I left in the oven, I'll talk to you later"- and as quickly as she came she left through the same door, leaving Bucky with more doubts than answers, peeking down the hallway, he realizes that she is the neighbor who lives next door, to his right. When Bucky comes out of his initial stupor, still not fully understanding what is going on, he decides to take his cell phone out of his pocket and call his own personal Google to solve his doubts about this century: Sam Wilson.

-"Hey Buck! What's up?"-how does he always manage to sound so happy? focus Buck.

-"What the hell is a router and why do I have one in my house?"- somehow Bucky manages to formulate, although maybe his voice cracked a little on the last words.

-"That thing's been there for at least two months and you didn't even notice it? Have you even paid the bill?"-

-"You put this in here? Without telling me????"- maybe Sam is also a Kree? Who can I trust now? It's all a trap?

Listening to Bucky's accelerated breathing, Sam tries to explain to him slowly, that in this century life without internet is not life, but obviously as Bucky does not even know how to set the alarm on his own cell phone, he was in charge of buying the router and creating the contract with the company so that, the 106 year old man could have his personal network at home. He had given it the name but he had not given it a password so that Bucky himself could set it up later. "I am an excellent friend, I mean co-worker, if I may say so"

-"Sorry man, after all that happened, we got called for a mission and I forgot to tell you, do you have your laptop over there? I'll help you set up a password, so your neighbors won't steal your internet anymore"- and with that comment everything started to make sense in Bucky's slightly screwed up but functional mind about the events with his seemingly non-spy and harmless neighbor.

Meanwhile Bucky was trying to remember his own password to unlock the laptop in front of him, also courtesy of Sam. "Bucky, when you learn about online banking and that you can pay your rent, electricity, phone and everything with a click of your computer, you will thank me". It should be noted that Bucky hasn't used that laptop once, like a good 100 year old grandpa he goes to the bank to make his deposits and pay his debts, which obviously consisted only of electricity, water, gas and phone because the man had no idea that there was a device in his house that spit out internet, apparently only his next door neighbor knew this. Buck tells Sam how he thought his router was an alien device and how he thought his neighbor was a KGB agent coming to kill him. "Relax Buck we all have undesirable neighbors that steal our internet signal sometimes", well undesirable is not the word I would use to describe her but ok.

When Sam finally explains to him how to connect his computer to the internet, Bucky can finally see the name that his wonderful co-worker, not friend, because he could never be friends with someone so stupid as to think that the name "THE WIFILCON AND THE WINTER ROUTER" was a good name.

- "my god Sam, you're such an asshole!"-

-"HEY! That's a great name!"- Sam responds with as much indignation as possible, he's the best at naming everything from dogs to wifis.

- "I can't believe you're Captain America, I can't believe we're even friends"- Bucky really can't understand his luck to have friends, well, co-workers whatever.

- "Well excuse me but we're co-workers..."-

- "Well, take this call as my formal resignation, bye"-

-"Wait a minute Buck..."- Bucky ended the call, to finish -his self-imposed- punishment of listening to Sam Wilson talk for over an hour. At least I asked him how to use the bank's website to pay for the internet. Suddenly, without warning and without explanation, the memory of his neighbor is lodged in his head, her hair in a ponytail, her reading glasses, pink shorts, her sweater from some university of which he can't even remember the name because he was watching out for other things... that she wouldn't kill me obviously, he was watching out that she wouldn't pull a knife out of her back and kill me right there. The message on his laptop indicating that he can now set a new name and password to his wifi distracts him enough to stop thinking about his sweet and cute non-spy neighbor and how she would look with her hair down and her glasses off.

Still with the sweet feeling in his chest and the desire to see her again he writes as the new name of the wifi, while laughing:

"If you want free internet, you owe me at least one free dinner"

After paying the internet debt and closing the laptop, Bucky gets up hoping to find something edible in the kitchen, while leaning over to look inside his fridge and analyzing how bad it would be to eat a fried egg with pasta and sriracha, he hears again a knock on the door, but this time it does not cause Bucky the anguish and anxiety that caused him the first time, but quite the opposite.

-"Open the door Winter Router! I prepared chicken pot pie for dinner"-.

[eienshi09]

Final FF3 Thoughts

I actually finished the game like, almost two weeks ago so these thoughts aren't as fresh as they normally are. Anyways, the DS remake of Final Fantasy III is alright. The story is a step backwards from Final Fantasy II and the pacing - both narratively and mechanically - is a little off. Additionally, I would warn that the final stretch of the game - especially the last dungeon (which is really 3 different dungeons strung together) - is a huge slog; and being unable to save during it really exacerbated the drag of it. But all that said, the core gameplay loop is solid and engaging. The Job System adds some depth and decision-making to the turn-based battle formula without being too micromanage-y, and it's fun enough playing around with your team composition despite the game's efforts to get in its own way. Although the random encounters rate isn't as bad as the previous two games and running from battle is a lot snappier, I would still only recommend the game with a way to fast-forward as some of the battle animations and transitions take a couple seconds longer than they need to.

While Final Fantasy II's story wasn't terribly deep, it at least opened dramatically with an invasion by the evil empire - immediately putting a name and face to the Bad GuysTM - and the story follows the exploits of our party of heroes as they prepare a resistance effort and mount a counterattack. Final Fantasy III, meanwhile, starts off with one of your party falling down a hole and getting told they have been chosen to fight against some nebulous encroaching darkness. In a vacuum, it's an alright hook to adventure as any, but taken within the series, it feels like it's an iteration of FFI without any of the dramatic or narrative development of FFII.

And to be clear, I'm not even against a pulpy adventure plot. But the device of having the Actual Big Bad be some unreasoning primordial force controlling the one we thought was the Big Bad was overdone even in 1990; and FFIII unfortunately doesn't even explore the trope all that well. Xande had an understandable, if basic, motivation: he wanted to regain his immortality because he couldn't see that being mortal can be a gift. Unfortunately, the game doesn't really do much else with that theme of living forever as a curse. Even so, Xande's summoning the forces of DarknessTM to achieve his ends could have been done as a deal with the devil that he, in his hubris, thought he could control. But we don't really explore that either. Not that I'm exactly expecting some deep philosophical takes from this character or even series, but a little more than just handwaving away any agency Xande could have had over his fate as The Cloud of Darkness just taking control of Xande and being the ultimate pupper master over everything. A good example of how a little more could have really fleshed out some of the characters actually exists in FFXIV's Crystal Tower raids despite the changes made to many of the characters' backgrounds.

Even if that was all of the character and narrative development we get, it was kind of crammed into the last quarter or so of the game. The first half or so follows the party around as they journey to each of the 4 Crystals to gain the Crystals' powers all the while seeing the state of the world as it is under the thumb of the agents of Darkness. We don't even learn the name Xande until about a third of the way through, just before the going to the second Crystal. But then, once we have the Nautilus and go seek out Doga, the plot just takes off and dumps on us a lot of lore and background that could have been spaced out throughout earlier parts of the game. On top of the exposition, the game's final challenge is a slog of an endurance test. Though you can save after the Labyrinth of the Ancients, there's no place to do so anywhere in The Crystal Tower, Eureka, or World of Darkness. So even if you were to clear out the loot in Eureka and The Crystal Tower individually, you'd still have to run through all of the Tower and World of Darkness in one go, which is A Lot.

Though the acquisition of jobs was not as back-loaded, they could have been better parted out as well. The first six are gained after the tutorial dungeon. Then it's a fairly long stretch before the second and third batch, which are almost back-to-back. You barely have time to get used to the second batch of Jobs before the game hands you the third set. But after the Water Crystal, it's another long stretch until the last six Jobs are gained at the very end of the game. By which point, the only content left to use them in is the final dungeons of the game. The second and last batch of Jobs should have been moved up earlier into the game to give us more time to get familiar with them. Not only that, but spreading them out more evenly would have better filled in the novel content curve of the game.

Awkward pacing aside, however, the Job System is very well implemented here. The only real low point of the system is Job Adjustment Period, which only hindered experimentation without adding anything back to the game. Outside of that though, each Job at least has an interesting mechanic if not its own identity, which makes experimenting with the team composition and discovering some of the synergies between the various class mechanics quite fun in and of itself (refractory period between job changes notwithstanding). And although some Jobs are definitely more useful than others, the balance between each Job is pretty even and - with the sole exception of the Scholar - every Job felt good enough to use.

[what-breaks-my-heart]

Episode 10: Misunderstanding from Understanding (이해라는 오해) - Episode Thoughts

It is safe to assume many viewers are ENRAGED at Woo Yeon’s behaviour in this episode, particularly when she agreed to have dinner with Joon Soo just a minute after Lee Soo introduced her to his parents as the person he likes, and when she showed up in front of Lee Soo’s door afterward.

I was enraged myself that I went to several posts made by other people and shared my displeasure by her actions. No matter how I tried to find the reason behind Woo Yeon’s actions, I found nothing. It seemed to me that her actions were not only unjustified, but also unbecoming of her character.

Buuuuuut, and that’s a big but here (no pun intended), after sittting with my thoughts (more like tossing in bed) and going through all of the over 1,000 screencaps I took during the episode (oh god I am becoming more like my tumblr mutual with 50 GB of screencaps), I realised the writer pulled a grand scheme of shifting the viewers’ rooting from Woo Yeon to Lee Soo, while also laying down another piece of the puzzle in Woo Yeon’s and Lee Soo’s eventful relationship. I promise this will make at least some sense further down

This is going to be a long post so more under the break!

A quick recap: episode 9 ended with Lee Soo walking past Woo Yeon with a straight face at the exhibition, with Woo Yeon feeling upset about it.

At the beginning of episode 10, we were shown the conversation between Woo Yeon and Young Hee about her attending this exhibition. This conversation which took place before the exhibition, seemed to be out place (more on that later), because it could have been cut short to just Woo Yon telling Young Hee why she’s not worried about attending the exhibition. Heck, it could have been done with the three girlfriends having a drink and them teasing each other. But no, this conversation only took place between the two of them. Apparently Young Hee is acting like a big sister to Woo Yeon with her sage advice too.

Young Hee: Will you be okay? Both Mr. CEO and Soo will be there.

Woo Yeon: Why wouldn’t I? It’s all over anyway.

Young Hee: With whom?

Woo Yeon: With both.

Young Hee: When?

Woo Yeon: Well, it ended a while ago for me. And I haven’t heard from Mr. CEO or Soo since. It’s over.

Young Hee: Mr. CEO is one thing, but Soo said he’d wait.

Woo Yeon: He’s selfish. If he wanted to, he would’ve called long ago.

Young Hee: Who are you to conclude that?

Woo Yeon: Because I understand. Because I was like that. When someone I thought would like only me started seeing someone else, and when I saw him saying and doing things that I thought were only for me to someone else, I got jealous. How ridiculous is that?

Young Hee: You don’t want him, but you don’t want anyone else to have him. Something like that?

Woo Yeon: Something like that.

Young Hee: And so, that’s how it is for Soo.

Woo Yeon: Correct.

Young Hee: Are you sure about yourself?

Cue the episode title in calligraphy writing.

At first, I really thought this conversation was out of place and didn’t deserve to be followed by the episode title calligraphy. Some of you would notice that these episode title calligraphy would only appear after some heavy conversations in the middle of the episode. Putting this conversation and the episode title calligraphy right at the beginning of the episode was way too heavy.

However, by putting the title this early in the episode, the tone for the entire episode has been set, and everything that is bound to happen will follow this theme. Earlier this morning, I was mad at myself for not noticing how this ties back to Woo Yeon’s outrageous behaviour at the end of the episode.

You see, what this episode is trying to tell us is how the characters thought they have understood the others, and acted based on that perceived understanding.

Why Woo Yeon acted that way, you ask? Because she thought she understood Lee Soo. She thought she had seen it all, being the closest person to Lee Soo during their last year in high school together.

Woo Yeon knew how she has a moment of burning jealousy everytime someone she thought would like only her, suddenly acted in a similar way they were to her, to other people.

Woo Yeon also interpreted Lee Soo’s sudden act of clinging onto her when she was in a relationship with Joon Soo as Lee Soo being jealous and frustrated that Woo Yeon, whom he thought would only like Lee Soo, suddenly showed any sign of interest to someone else.

Premised on the above, Woo Yeon concluded that she and Lee Soo are similar in that sense, easily becoming jealous.

Now, let’s jump ahead to the night when the incident took place.

What we know:

Woo Yeon wanted to leave upon learning that Joon Soo had tricked her into having a dinner with him by pulling some strings with his friend who told her it would be a business meeting with the said friend on the future project.

Joon Soo guilt tripped her into staying, saying her leaving would embarrass him in front of Lee Soo’s family who noticed them at the restaurant.

Woo Yeon reluctantly stayed, and rejected Joon Soo’s proposal to be in a relationship. AGAIN. Girl, you could have finished early and left right away yet you didn’t

Lee Soo, who was only a moment ago, lit up after running into Woo Yeon at the restaurant and introduced her as the person he likes to his parents, turned sour, and the entire family had an awkward birthday dinner.

The thing that made me furious about this is how Woo Yeon felt obliged to stay to save Joon Soo’s face, while ignoring how the entire fiasco would HUMILIATE Lee Soo in front of his own parents. Not just Lee Soo. In front of Lee Soo’s PARENTS. I was fuming mad.

Both groups finished dinner, and all of them were leaving the place. Unlike Joon Soo the creepy stalker, Lee Soo waited for her in front of the building, just to speed off in his car when Woo Yeon tried to approach him.

Never stop being a drama queen, Lee Soo

And now what? Woo Yeon actually took a taxi to Lee Soo’s apartment? Just to explain to him what had happened?

*flips table*

“No matter how hard I try to understand you, there’s only one conclusion. Kyung Woo Yeon thinks I’m a joke.”

“What?”

“It looks like you still don’t believe me, but I really like you. So don’t trample on my feeling.”

Set it straight to her, Lee Soo!

“But I just snapped right out of it. I’ve regained my balance.”

Let me reiterate how this made me outraged. If Woo Yeon was planning on getting pay back for his mistreatment of her over the years, she really has gone overboard this time. Lee Soo might have been a selfish jerk, but everything that he ever told her was his understanding of his feelings during the moment. Never once has he tried to hurt her on purpose. He did hurt her nonetheless, and that’s why I gave her a one-time pass when she quoted his own words to him at the cafe. But repeatedly hurting him on purpose? I started to feel like Lee Soo deserved better.

Okay, here’s what I promised.

“When someone I thought would like only me started seeing someone else, and when I saw him saying and doing things that I thought were only for me to someone else, I got jealous.”

“It’s like a moment of burning jelaousy. Something like that.”

Remember I said earlier how Woo Yeon concluded that Lee Soo became jealous at her once she dated Joon Soo. Their fateful (I keep repeating this wordplay but it’s funnier in Korean) encounter at the restaurant was their second time seeing each other since Lee Soo took that long trip, and Lee Soo was being treated to the sight of Woo Yeon having a dinner date with Joon Soo.

Based on her own conclusion of how Lee Soo would react to this, she tried to explain what happened to stop him from getting jealous. Why? Because she needed him to continue worshipping her. She needed to keep him by her side, close enough that she could feel herself being chased by Lee Soo who was madly in an unrequited love, but not too close, because she didn’t want him. Woo Yeon must really like tuning into the home shopping channel huh

“You don’t want him, but you don’t want anyone else to have him. Something like that?”

It was a eureka moment when I joined all of these dots together. I could finally understand why Woo Yeon did what she did. She basically acted in the way that she understood her own feelings, and the way she understood Lee Soo. But no, it still does NOT justify her actions.

“Are you sure about yourself? Do you never misunderstood yourself in any way? I just wonder if the emotion that you say you’re sure about really is what you feel. It’s human nature to misunderstand yourself at times. Is it possible to understand someone else? I just wonder if it’s right when you think you understand someone is when misunderstandings form.”

I now believe that Woo Yeon is still confused about her own feelings and misunderstood herself (and Lee Soo). It may be some time before she can finally clear all of that misunderstanding, but I believe just like how Lee Soo finally understood his own feelings, Woo Yeon would soon understand hers too.

In conclusion, I would say that this episode integrated the episode title, Misunderstanding from Understanding really well. Perhaps a little too well.

[thenakedgingerwrites]

Trapped

Needless to say, I didn't expect what happened today. No one ever does I guess. I was working in my garage while the wife and kids were out running some errands. I cleaned out a bunch of things from the attic above the cars and piled the boxes near the front of the open garage. Having gone up and down my ladder with boxes (while not super heavy) all morning left me pretty fatigued and sweaty. It was still the middle of the afternoon and I was hoping to finish up, shower, and maybe jack off before the family got home. Three kids later, the wife wasn't as generous with sex anymore so I re-learned how to take care of myself. Not that I don't miss the passionate sex we used to have, I just gave up on getting a blowjob ever again, sad as it is. I went back up to get the last box but in my fatigue missed a step. I tried to grab a side plank but failed and instead went through the drywall floor. Well, not entirely. I had been wedged in-between two planks since I was pretty triangular of a build. I had a home gym and kept in shape as best I could. A bit of a belly but still strong as ever. So now here I was, stuck halfway through the roof of the garage. I tried to pull myself up but either couldn't get leverage, was too tired, or was stuck on something. Maybe all three. Either way, I wasn't going anywhere. Luckily the way I was stuck wasn't painful but I couldn't move. For whatever reason I yelled "HELLO!?" thinking someone would come to find me but instantly felt stupid for it. The family was gone and while the garage door was open, the boxes blocked most of the view to the street so it wouldn't have been obvious to anyone I'd be lucky enough to have pass by.

If I knew someone was walking by I'm sure I could yell to get their attention (if they didn't have headphones in) but I didn't want to yell for an hour hoping someone would find me. The family should be back within an hour or so. They'll laugh at finding daddy coming through the roof but my wife will get the ladder so I can climb out of here and then chastise me for not paying attention. Sigh. Fifteen minutes or so went by as I hung there. I tried to make a game out of it by counting the rafter beams, or swinging my legs for a light ab workout, but was getting bored. I tried to get out again but determined I must be stuck on something. I wiggled my hips to try and figure out what it was. Something was preventing me from pulling myself up and thought it must be something on the bottom of my shirt or my sweatpants. I thought that if I went down a little lower, whatever was stuck would unstick and then I could pull myself free. It took another couple minutes of trying to squeeze myself further into the hole but finally eureka! I felt something give. It was the undeniable rip of my sweatpants but fuck it, I can always get my wife to stitch them back up. Two things became very apparent to me very quickly though. One, my squeezing further into the hole sealed my fate of actually being stuck. Without the leverage of something beneath me I was staying put. Second, the rip to my pants must have been the waist, and the phone in my pocket weighed them down. And down. And down... "You've got to be fucking kidding me." So now, not only was I stuck in my garage ceiling and my pants ripped, I was naked from the waist down. "Great day to not wear underwear, asshole." Well my wife and kids finding me would be a little less fun this way, for everyone. Luckily my ass was hanging towards the driveway so they wouldn't see my exposed cock and nuts but seeing Dad's hairy ass probably wasn't on their to-do list. I decided to give myself one last attempt at freedom and used all my muscles in my arms I could muster. My legs ran in place attempting to help me but alas, nothing. "FUCK!" I cursed. Last fucking time I clean the attic. I catch my breath as I hear the unmistakable pitter patter of footsteps. "Hello?" a cautious voice calls out. Shit! Of course someone is passing by NOW. "I'm fine, go away!" I yell instinctively. I'm not sure why being rescued is less desirable than a stranger seeing me naked like this. I mean, I'm fit, my cocks a good size (6 hard and pretty thick), maybe a little hairier than most but overall a good looking guy. It's just the shame of the situation. "Ha, you don't look fine." The guy gives a light chuckle. I can tell he's behind me getting an eye full of my round ass. Sigh. "Yeah, I'm not. I fell through while moving some boxes and... fate is out to get me today I guess." "Well one man's trash is another's treasure." What the hell? Did he say this situation was treasure? "Um, yeah. Can you grab my ladder? If that's under me I think I can push up and out of this wedge." Silence. "Hey, guy?" I think I hear footsteps but it's hard to tell. He's probably wearing running shoes so I can't really hear him. Did he leave? *click* The unmistakable sound of a phone camera. "What the fuck man?! Did you just take a picture of me?!" "Yes, only your butt. To remember this laughable situation." "Well I'd fucking appreciate it if you didn't and get me the fuck out of here." I couldn't help my anger starting to boil. It's one thing to be found by a stranger but thinking photos of me could leak on the internet was a different story. "Oh my..." he says. *click* "Dude what the fuck?!" "Sorry, after seeing your dick I couldn't help myself." "You fucking fag!" "And those balls." I felt his finger tips graze my scrotum which set me into a fury. I kicked my legs out at him but there were still bound by my sweatpants. I only kicked air. "Ah, ah ah" the stranger said. "You wouldn't want me sending these photos to everyone in the neighborhood would you?" No, I wouldn't. I calmed my legs down and let them hang limply again. "No I know a way we can both help each other out." "And what's that?" I ask through gritted teeth. "You married?" "And three kids. Straight as an arrow." "Funny thing about arrows, they bend in flight. Anyway, when's the last time you got a good blowjob?" "What?!" "When's the last time your wife gave you a really great blowjob?" "That's none of your Goddamn business." "Ah, I see. When's the last time you had ANY blowjob?" I remained silent. I couldn't think of a good lie but the truth is it had been years. He continued to speak. "You see, I'm kind of addicted to cock. I've become a bit of an expert in my addiction, but it's been a couple weeks since I've blown anyone new." He was behind me now as he placed an open palm on my ass. "So, that's how we can help each other." "You want to give me a blowjob." "Correct." "You want to GIVE me a blowjob, and then help me out?" "Seems like a good deal to you, yes?" I mean, fuck yeah it did. I'm not gay, really I'm not. Unlike a lot of guys in high school I never messed around with any of my guy friends but still, it had been years. And I couldn't see him at all so in my mind I could just pretend it was Scarlet Johansen or Emma Stone or whoever the fuck I wanted it to be. "Is that a deal?" "I mean, what do you need me to do?" "Ideally, just not strangle me with your thighs and I'll do the rest." I did contemplate it, but then I'd be where I started and he may turn violent too. I'm the one in the compromising position. "Okay, deal." "Oh goody!" I felt both of his hands on my ass this time while he planted a big kiss on one cheek. Gross. The stranger pulled something over towards us. It sounded like maybe a one of our plastic storage bins but I'm not sure. I estimated that my cock was probably only 6 feet off the ground but figured he'd need to get a little higher. The first touch was tentative. His hands on my soft cock made me second guess my decision. This was a guy afterall. I couldn't will myself to forget that. This was wrong. And then he took me into his mouth. My abs convulsed by instinct. It was a feeling I'd missed for so long. He sucked and swirled his tongue around my hardening cock and I'm embarrassed to say how quickly I got hard. "Oh wow, you're a thick guy." "Ha, thanks." Wait, why the fuck am I thanking this pervert? Well, he is giving me head... *click* "Hey! No pictures!" "That wasn't part of the deal. And what do you care, your face isn't in them. They're just for me. Promise." "No, seriously. Delete those pic..." He took me back into his mouth and it shut me up. God he was good. This guy definitely had practice with a cock and probably with someone as thick as me because he managed to take almost all of me into him. And like a pro fag, he even popped my balls into his mouth to give my cock a break. While he pumped my wet shaft with his hands he sucked and licked on each nut separately. Taking my cock back into his mouth, his hands grabbed my firm ass from behind. I actually started to rock into him. It felt so fucking good. His fingers snaked their way back towards my ass hole but I stopped him and rocked away, cock popping out of his mouth. "No way. Don't touch my asshole. I'm not gay." "You don't trust me by now? I can make a little prostate stimulation feel really good." "I said no. Blowjob only." "Sigh, have it your way Mr. Boring Married Man." I resented that. Was I really boring because I didn't want to be finger fucked by a guy? A stranger even? He got back to work on my cock and really focused on the head. He was edging me and I knew I wouldn't be able to hold on for much longer. "I think I'm gonna cum soon man." He just continued to work. Nervous he didn't hear me, I said it again. Not sure why I cared to be polite about accidently cumming in his mouth. "Dude, you're about to make me cum. Get off unless you want my load down your throat." He popped off so I figured he finally heard me but unexpectedly he said "feed me, daddy" and engulfed me again. Fuck, this guy was gonna swallow too. I felt the pressure building and tried to hold it back. Once I got to the peak I felt his finger once again find my asshole but not timidly. This guy shoved his finger fully into me all at once and I kid you not, it was the best feeling of my life. His finger deep into my ass, cock in his mouth, balls in his other hand, I exploded. Rope after rope I shot into this guy's mouth. It'd had been a while since I jacked off too so the amount must have been immense. The waves of euphoria were unlike anything I'd ever felt sexually or otherwise. I actually moaned out loud like a pornstar. I always thought they were faking it until now. A long slurping sound later, he unsuctioned himself from my defeated dick. "I take it you liked it then?" "Fuck..." was all I could get out between breaths. "I hope you don't mind, but I'd like to finish too." "Umm, I'm not sure what that means." "Don't worry, nothing gay for you Mr. Straight Married Man. I'm just gonna jack off real quick looking at that cock of yours." "Ugh, fine." I was still spent and had no energy to argue. I just had the best blowjob of my life and was soon going to be free from my embarrassing prison. I heard the ladder, I think, being dragged over towards me. Did he finish already? I tentatively reached a foot out for it but found only air. "Um, guy?" "I'm not done yet, sheesh. Hold your horses." I soon heard the sound of a guy jacking off. He got handsy with me but I decided to just bite my tongue, wanting him to finish as fast as possible. It didn't take him that long until he warned me, "Okay, here it comes." I wasn't expecting him to cum onto me, and I definitely didn't expect him to come on my ass! "Dude!? What the fuck!?" "Ahhhh, that felt amazing." I'm pretty sure he slapped my ass a couple times with his still-hard cock. "Fucking gross man!" "Sorry, couldn't resist. That ass is to die for. Sure you don't want me to fuck you too?" "I'm FUCKING positive!" I yell. "Whoa, whoa, okay, okay. Thought I'd ask." "Well the answer is fucking no. Now bring that damn ladder over here so I can wipe this shit off me." "Okay, okay. One last photo though." *click* "Stop!" "I couldn't help it, I needed to get a picture of me marking you." Like a fucking dog? Marking me? Little did he know, when I got out of here I was gonna get him and break that fucking phone. I imagined he'd run when he gave me the ladder but I was fast. "Whatever man, just bring me the ladder." "I actually don't think that's a good idea." "What the hell!? We had a deal!!" I was furious. I started to flail my legs, my semi-soft cock slapping against my thighs. "I know, I know. But I don't think you're going to be too kind to me when you get free. And I'd much prefer your wife to find you like this. Another guy's cum on your ass." "YOU FUCKING MOTHER FUCKER!!" "Well, Daddy fucker maybe." "GET ME DOWN!!" *SLAP* He slapped me hard against my right cheek. "Until next time stud." "GET BACK HERE!!" I writhed and wiggled for a few minutes, fuming with anger. After a bit longer though, I determined he had gone. I again was trapped with no hope of rescue. And honestly, no desire for rescue now either. As I hang there, remnants of my spent cock dripping to the floor and the mysterious stranger's cum drying on the globes of my ass, I hear our minivan pull up into our driveway. How was I going to explain this...

[mini-moongi]

Notification [REVAMPED] || 1

Taehyung x Reader

Genre: Fluff

Story prompt: What if you got an alert on your phone every time someone thought of you? They tell you their thoughts in the form of text messages.

Summary: Alert!AU, School!AU; A mysterious app appeared on your phone and you can’t get rid of it?? It texts you people’s thoughts. One day, you accidentally send the star basketball player, Min Yoongi, to the nurse’s office.

A/N: I got the sudden urge to revamp this old fic of mine bc it has SO MUCH POTENTIAL I just sucked at writing :,)) Anyways it’s been a good few years since my last written fanfic so--

Chapters: 1 || 2 || 3 || 4 || 5 coming soon!

series masterlist

─── ･ ｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ. ───

You tapped tirelessly on your phone; your eyes so dry you can hear yourself blink. It’s 3 am and you have school tomorrow, but you just have to download this new album you found whilst “studying.” After it finishes loading into your playlist, a notification popped up. You thought that maybe your years of illegally downloading music has finally caught up with you.

“ALERT: Unauthorized app: E C H O downloaded. [ERROR_606_RESET] LOG DELETED.”

You panicked, what if it’s a virus?? Going onto your home screen, you find an app called E C H O. Nothing else was out of the ordinary, except for the cryptid new app. After that fateful night, you’ve learned that it texts you the thoughts that people have about you. You couldn’t delete it, no matter how hard you tried, and you tried for weeks. Not many people think of you anyways, so it’s no biggie.

Thinking that was your first mistake.

Your friend, Byeol, was chasing you down the hallway with a dead roach she found on the floor. “Ew look, it’s guts are oozing out!!” She’s never been afraid of icky things, and will not hesitate in poking a dead organism with her bare hands. She’s a madman, and she knows you’re about to gag when she squeezes the guts of the roach between her fingers.

You’re running away from the horrifically explicit roach Byeol is holding, and as you turn your head to spew out an insult, you crash into another body. It sends you tumbling on top of them with no support to stop the fall. He lets out a deep guttural groan from the impact, and a loud “Fuck!” escapes the stranger’s lips.

Bumping into him was your second mistake.

You don’t even look at them, too scared to make eye contact as you blurt out,” I’m so sorry!!” You hastily try to recollect yourself and offer your hand to the poor victim. When you finally glance at him, you almost freeze up. You just whammed yourself into the school’s best basketball player, Min Yoongi™.

Min Yoongi is one of the seven guys at the top of the High School tier class. Some fan club even started the name, “Bangtan Boys” to address the seven handsome guys. He’s an excellent pianist, a fantastic composer, a basketball star, and unmistakably a bad boy. Guys and girls swoon over him, but he’s given them all the the cold shoulder. You recalled a friend of yours who said that his glare was so piercing, you literally feel your body tense and freeze up. You also happen to remember that he had to sit out on the last basketball game because he sprained his ankle. Ouch.

You look back over your shoulder, and of course, Byeol was pretending not to know who you were. She picked up conversation with a nearby stranger, hoping that they didn’t see the cause of this destruction. You didn’t blame her though, no one wants to get on Yoongi’s bad side. You were sure your phone had a ton of messages from ECHO, even though you’ve put it on “Do Not Disturb.”

Your guilt sinks in and it weighs heavy on your shoulders at the thought of you being the reason he’s in pain. “..Are you alright? Here, let me take you to the nurse.” You help him up and wrap his arm around your shoulder. “You can lean on me, it’s okay.” On the inside, it was definitely not okay. He accepted your offer, but he hasn’t said a single word to you this whole time. The air was thick and the silence was fueling your uneasiness.

You check him into the nurse’s office and explain the incident. Good thing it’s your lunch period, or your teacher would’ve chewed you out for being late. You check ECHO while the lady logs Yoongi into the records.

[11:37pm] Woah!! Did that girl just slam into Min Yoongi? She’s got balls..

[11:37pm] Should I pretend I don’t know her? Y/n will forgive me, right?

[11:38pm] What the fuck was that??? Why am I on the floor? And in pain??

[11:45pm] ...now what am I going to do? Who is she?

The nurse lady sets him up on one of those bed thingies, and you take this opportunity to apologize again. “I’m so sorry Yoongi, I should’ve been paying attention. If there’s anything I can do to make it up to you, just let me know.” The desperation must’ve been obvious in your voice.

“...What’s your name?” Yoongi stares at you. His eyes don’t waver when you look at him in surprise. He stays unmoving, waiting for your answer.

“My name? Oh, uhm... it’s Y/n. L/n Y/n,” You were not expecting a response from him, since he seemed uninterested when you tried conversing earlier. Yoongi asking for someone’s name is considered to be something really honorable; people would pay anything to have him say that to them. But then again, they would also pay Yoongi to step on them...

“I have a request for you then, Y/n.” He lulls his head to the side, thinking his decision over. “I want you to...” He looks at you with a gaze that you just can’t shake. Your breath is caught in your throat at his stare. What is he going to say? “Be my substitute.”

“Like a substitute teacher? I’m sorry but--” You try to quickly intervene. Does he think you’re an old hag?? You didn’t think you looked that old.. or maybe he means something else? “Or did you mean a substitute as in like for your basketball game because I don’t even know how to play basketball I just--”

“No, calm your tits. I meant you’ll act as my replacement for school and go where I usually go. I need you to be my eyes and ears while I’m stuck here and at home.” He draws out a long sigh,” You just need to collect my assignments and give them to me everyday after school until I get better. If you can, fill me in on what that day was like. It’s not that hard to do, right?”

You let out a sigh of relief. Just then, you hear a knock at the door. Three boys shuffle into the clinic, giving a casual greeting to the nursing staff. Your eyes widen, how could you forget? Of course the other Bangtan Boys would come check up on him. Kim Taehyung, Park jimin, and Jung Hoseok smile to acknowledge you and turn their eyes to Yoongi.

“Are you alright?” Hoseok asks him. He’s bubbling with energy as he speaks. “We were wondering where you went. I almost had a heart attack when they said you were here!!” Hoseok grabs at his chest like he’s in more pain than Yoongi.

Jung Hoseok is known for his positive energy and “legendary” hip work. He’s a street dancer who knows everybody, and everybody knows him. He’s also in medical class for vets, and he does charities in his free time. He’s super sweet and will sometimes send flowers to the fan club.

“Are you still eating lunch with us?” Jimin pipes up. He’s leaning on the nursing bed as he drapes himself dramatically across Yoongi’s shoulders. He whines,”What will we do without you? Please tell me you’re eating with us today..”

Park Jimin is also a dancer, but he does contemporary work. When he dances, he’s graceful, like a mythical creature. He’s shy and shorter than the rest of the guys, which makes people want to dote on him. If he dances with Hoseok though, he flips like a coin. He’ll act like a playboy and tease his audience when given the chance.

“Yah, You know I can’t.” Yoongi gestures to his ankle, and his inability to move due to the immense pain. “The nurse said I should stay in here for at least an hour or two.”

You don’t know if you should leave or stay. You were about to excuse yourself because your conversation with Yoongi ended a while ago. You shouldn’t expect them to talk to you when they don’t know who you are or why you’re there. You pick up your bag and sling it over your shoulder.

Taehyung mentions you, stopping you from escaping so easily. “Who is that?” He points to you. Leave it to Taehyung to point out the elephant in the room...

He’s popular for his charming personality and ethereal looks. Taehyung is in agriculture, and he often helps Hoseok out with the animals. He plays the saxophone, which combined with theatre class, drives the fans nuts. Taehyung also seems to be super observant, and he will point out small details other people seem to miss. If he was doing a police report, he’d probably be able to tell you the exact time the incident happened and what colored crocs the perpetrator was wearing. 

As if Yoongi just remembered that you were still here, he makes another request.” Oh, as the new Yoongi, can you also keep an eye on these guys? They’ll cause chaos if I’m not there.” 

“New Yoongi?” Jimin looks incredulously at you. “What do you mean--”

Yoongi retorts,” She’s my stand in, my understudy, my alternative, my stunt double, ecetera. Need I say more?” His cold demeanor doesn’t hesitate with the response. He talks as if it was a natural request, but what part of this is natural?

"How would I...” You trail off. You find yourself stammering, unable to voice your concerns. All of the guys, attractive ones at that, were staring at you.”..How would I even do that?”

“Isn’t it obvious? For starters, we all have the same lunch period, so just eat lunch with them or something.” Yoongi shrugs his shoulders,” Do I need to plan everything out for you?”

You’re quick to object,” No!! I’m.. I’m fine. It’s okay.” It’s bad enough that he’s injured, so you shouldn’t worry Yoongi anymore.

Taehyung’s eyes light up. He speaks as if he had a eureka moment. “We have the same forensics class, don’t we? No wonder I recognized you..” You were really hoping he wouldn’t have remembered that. If people see you hanging around these guys, they’ll get the wrong idea. 

“Well I guess that settles it. I’ll sit next to you in class, and we can be partners for that new project he’s assigning.” He takes you by the hand. His touch was so sudden and warm that it takes you a minute to realize you’re in the cafeteria already. He looks down at you and smiles. “This is our spot.”

Only when you part from him to grab your bag that you realize he held your hand this entire time. You start to miss his warmth, but you shake out any of those thoughts from your head. What were you thinking? Your heart pounds in your chest, and your cheeks grow hot. You breathe out a shaky breath, trying to calm down. Anyone would feel this way if they were you. You go from being an average joe to suddenly sitting next the the Bangtan Boys? It’s almost like you’re in a fanfiction. You shouldn’t fall in love with one of them, that would be too cliché and very, very dangerous.

You finished settling down your things and find that Taehyung was still waiting for you. Hoseok already rushed to the pizza line, and Jimin was swarmed by girls who made him bento boxes. He smiles politely to them all, unsure of how to decline. His eyes glance at you like a plead for help, but a girl starts to scold him so he looks away.

“What did you want to eat? Noodles?” It was pretty loud in the cafeteria, so Taehyung walked closer. He leaned down and whispered in your ear. “..Or do you want to eat me?” His hot breath tickled your ear. It was a deep and husky voice, one that sent shivers down your spine.

Shocked at his words, you jumped back. “W..What?” You never thought Taehyung was so bold. You’ve heard of him being flirty, but this was cutting it close. It was like dirty talking, but you’ve barely met him!!

He tried to suppress his laugh as he looked at you. “I said: Or do you want to eat meat?” He raises an eyebrow at you. He knows you’re flustered, and feigns innocence. “There’s a rice with two meat deal today. What did you think I said?”

You could’ve sworn he said “me” and not “meat,” but maybe you were thinking into it too much. You decided which one you wanted and Taehyung walks to the line with you. Whilst waiting for your turn, you check ECHO.

It was what you expected. Many of them were like:

[12:03pm] Wtf??? Who is that girl?

[12:03pm] Is she their girlfriend? No-- it has to be a cousin, right? But she’s so plain looking...

[12:04pm] Why is she holding Kim Taehyung’s hand? Don’t tell me--

[12:05pm] Y/n?? What did that girl do now.. ((((゜д゜;))))

Oh yeah, you should probably tell Byeol that you kind of have to sit with Bangtan during lunch now. Good to know that everyone is gawking at you now, I guess. There are hundreds of messages screaming about “who is that girl!1!1!!!!” so you scroll past most of them. One however, catches your eye.

[12:10pm] She’s so cute lol

You don’t think ECHO has ever sent you a compliment like this before. Someone thinks you’re cute? The thought warms your heart. This is the first time you’ve had an admirer.

“Hey, what are you looking at on your phone?” Taehyung rips you to reality. “How do you have so many messages?” He starts to lean over your shoulder to get a glimpse.

Antsy, you turn off your phone and press your hand to his chest to give some distance. “It’s.. It’s my online friends! They wanted to play the new game with me.” 

He stands back up, no longer breathing on your neck. “Oh? The one that was released just last week? What was it called...” He ponders for a minute,” Animal Crossing?” 

You nod. Conversation starts from there, and you let out that breath you’ve been holding in. You both pay for your meals and head over to the table. You could see Hoseok stuffing his face with pizza and sprite while he scribbles down answers to a worksheet. Jimin is desperately trying to get him to eat some of the bento boxes, but all of his attempts were futile. 

“...So I know you’re the New Yoongi or whatever, but what’s your real name?” Hoseok asks you. “If you don’t know me already, I’m Jung Hoseok, but you can call me Hobi!” 

Jimin and Taehyung look at each other. You hadn’t even thought to introduce yourself earlier, how much more embarrassing can this day be? Quick, be cool!!

“I’m L/n Y/n, but just Y/n is fine.”

“You probably know us already, but you can call me Tae or any various nickname you can conjure up,” He laughs,” The more creative the better.”

Jimin nudges his shoulder,” Like Spoiled Yogurt Kid?” It’s hard for the smaller one to contain his laughter.

“It was one time!!” Taehyung playfully shoves him away, clearly embarrassed. “It’s not my fault my sleep paralysis demon told me to eat the 3 month old yogurt at like 2 am.” He grumbled,”Ugh, it’s not like I tell everyone about your weird impulses..”

You couldn’t help but stifle a laugh. Hobi notices and adds fuel to the fire,”Yeah, get a load of this guy. He’s blaming all of his mistakes on his sleep paralysis demon. Poor demon, honestly.”

Jimin continues to mock Taehyung teasingly, getting him worked up.“You know what??” Taehyung growls as he whips his head around to face you. His soft brown hair falls over his eyes, and his jaw is clenched as he looks at you with an emotion you can’t quite read. His face is flushed, but he tilts his head up in a cool manner. If you didn’t know any better, you’d say he was serving up some bedroom eyes. 

He runs his fingers through his hair and speaks with a voice that oozes sex appeal without meaning to,“If you don’t know what to call me, just say Oppa.” Taehyung’s eyes widen as if he realized what came out of his mouth. He covers his lips with the palm of his hand and instinctively looked at how you’d react.

 It was your turn to flush from embarrassment. Before your brain could process what just happened, the words croak out,”..o..okay?” 

Hobi is choking on his sprite,”Damn, what the--” He continues to try and suppress his coughs,” Who the hell taught you that? Namjoon? Jin?” Hoseok shakes his head in disappointment. You thought it was because he ruined his drink, but then he said,” Ah, I told them to stop doing stuff like that.. If Yoongi were here he probably wouldn’t even know how to scold you.”

Jimin’s mouth is agape in shock. He suddenly doubles over the table, unable to contain the fit of laughter inside of him. “Wha- that was so smooth!” He’s holding onto his stomach for dear life, and his shoulders shake up and down. He gives suggestive eyebrows to Taehyung, whose ears are scorching red. “I didn’t know Taehyung was such a player.”

Taehyung is trying to hide himself with the sleeves of his hoodie. He’s silent at first, but eventually he speaks barely above a whisper. “...I don’t know what came over me..” His words tremble and tread lighter than a feather so scared it might step on another bomb.

"Was it your sleep paralysis demon?” You make a witty remark despite the blush dusted across your face. 

Tae sinks farther into his chair,” Oh my god...” He can’t help but laugh a little at your joke. “..Please forget about what I said today.” 

Jimin’s laughter dies down as he looks at you. His smile is soft and reassuring. “Don’t worry, Y/n. He’s usually not like this. I swear, we’re all gentlemen.” The bell suddenly rings, signaling that lunch was over. Jimin starts to clean up his spot, stuffing the unfinished bentos into his bag for later. “Ah, Taehyung, you’re saved by the bell this time, but next time you have got to show me some moves.” He winks before leaving for his next class.

Hoseok waves to you and Taehyung,” I’d walk with you two if I could, but my next class is across campus. I gotta dash, but good luck with Forensics!”

You’d almost forgotten about Forensics with Taehyung. Unfortunately, Tae seems to stay unmoving from his spot. You would be like that too if you were him, but you really can’t be late for class. It’s better if you approach him now rather than later, so it’s not as awkward during class. 

“Hey...” You start out. He doesn’t respond as his head is till buried in his arms. You hesitate at first, but you put your hand on his shoulder. “...Taehyung Oppa?” 

Immediately he shoots up, his eyes are wide and he’s as stiff as a board. He brushes your hand softly away and grabs his bag. He avoids your gaze as he packs up, but he returned his gaze when you started walking in the hallway. His eye’s remain forward, but he speaks to you,“...I didn’t think you’d actually call me that.” He chuckles. 

“Oppa?”

He rubs his hand across his face and he licks his lips,” Yeah, that.” He sneaks a glance at you, but since you were already looking at him, he turns his face away. 

─── · 。ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ. ───

-A/N-

oof it’s been AGES since my last bts fic. If y’all are following me bc of my text au, I’m going to try and update that soon too! I... did not expect to have such a flirtatious Taehyung,, but honestly I’m kinda into it. (  ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

[makeste]

BnHA Chapter 256: Fucking Superb You Funky Little Hero Eggs

Previously on BnHA: Aizawa and Mic’s frankensteined best friend Shirakumo, better known to us as Kurogiri, had his memories briefly restored through the Power of Friendship, and was all “YO Y’ALLS BETTER GO CHECK OUT THOSE HOSPITALS” before his head started steaming like a tea kettle and he randomly fell asleep. Aizawa and Mic were all “!!” and Aizawa was all “(ಡ ﹏ ಡ)” and Mic was all “Aizawa are you crying” and Aizawa was like “NO!!!” and then they left the prison and Nao called HPSC Lady who called Hawks and was all “eck-chay ethay ospitals-hay” because Hawks, as you recall, is still a secret agent and all that. Anyway so Hawks was all “EUREKA!!” in his head which doesn’t really add up but hey, and then the chapter ended with Dr. Ujiko dancing in sadistic glee as he watched Tomura get all mad scienced. It was pretty freaky. I could use some wholesomeness right about now so let’s see if this chapter will deliver.

Today on BnHA: Class 1-A shows off the fresh skills they learned during their assorted internships, such as “determination”, “enhanced search techniques”, and “becoming a literal blob of acid.” The Wonder Trio is a particular highlight, and All Might is all “my little baby off to destroy people :’)” as he watches Deku shred a robot to pieces using Blackwhip. We then cut to Aizawa and Mic, who may or may not be planning some rogue vigilante style investigations of the whole Noumu thing, or maybe they’re just brooding, but either way they’re interrupted by Mirio and Tamaki who come running in to get them to stop Eri’s quirk from going haywire, which, yikes. The chapter then ends with All Might handing Deku a notebook full of DETAILED, CATALOGED INFO ABOUT THE PAST SUCCESSORS AND THE FUCKING SIXQUIRKS. We just have to wait two more weeks to find out what that’s all about. 2020’s got some fucking zip to it so far huh.

so it’s about a quarter past 7 right now and it’ll be a miracle if I can have this recap up by 10pm tonight. surprisingly the wait for this chapter didn’t really bother me, but this Sunday/Monday release schedule is really doing a number on my punctuality. but anyways we’ll figure it out eventually. if memory serves, there’s about a 90% chance that this week’s jump will also be a double issue, so that gives me another extra week to get my shit together lol

(ETA: so that wasn’t too far off actually! I think a three-hour turnaround time isn’t bad for 3000 words lol. and actually it was more like two hours of reading/blogging and one hour of editing/photo cropping. anyway so in all likelihood either Sunday or Monday night releases will become the norm, depending entirely on how busy that particular Sunday is. not quite the same as getting the chapter on Friday and having the whole weekend to ruminate over it but we will adjust!)

anyway, so I’m somehow remarkably unspoiled for this chapter despite it having been out for nearly a week and a half at this point. so that’s something! let’s see what we’ve got here

yaaaay my babies

All Might was offering free cotton candy, yes? I didn’t expect we’d cut right back to this lol, but you sure won’t see me complaining. I want to see what everyone else learned during their internships, and also what with the break and the last couple chapters being Tartarus-focused, it’s been about a month since I last saw my little hero eggs, and of course I missed them I’m only human

omg

did the original dialogue really reference Skynet. Horikoshi truly gives no fucks about copyright. like one or two episodes ago the anime made some copyrighted reference which you could clearly hear in the Japanese but which the English subs hilariously glossed right over. I’m trying to remember what it was now. damn. anyways we millennials can never resist a good pop culture reference, facts

OH MY GOD AOYAMA

THEY’RE EATING THE COTTON CANDY

TOKOYAMI EATING COTTON CANDY IS THE GREATEST THING TO HAPPEN IN 2020 THUS FAR. LET ME TELL YOU, WE REALLY NEEDED THIS

SHOUTO EATING COTTON CANDY IS THE SECOND BEST THING TO HAPPEN IN 2020. IT WAS VERY CLOSE

I STALLED FOR TIME SO MUCH AND I STILL DON’T KNOW WTF TO SAY ABOUT AOYAMA’S NEW ATTACK OH MY GOD. JUST. I DON’T KNOW YOU GUYS. THIS BOY IS REALLY OUT HERE SLICING ROBOTS IN HALF WITH HIS BRAND NEW LASER PENIS. THE AMOUNT OF FUCKS THAT HORIKOSHI GIVES IS IN THE NEGATIVES I DON’T KNOW WHAT ELSE TO SAY

OH ARE YOU STILL GOING

is... what’s... ldkfj okay nothing to see here guys just the naked invisible chick getting all friendly with Aoyama’s beam boner. just manhandling his sparkle shaft. there are children reading this manga. I mean, they’re already mentally scarred from all the dead dogs and child quirk wine and whatnot, but still at what point do we put our goddamn foot down

anyway so somehow she’s redirecting his laser beam?? I guess with her light refracting quirk skills?? great job Hagakure with your help Aoyama can finally shoot lasers at stuff that’s behind him. you’ve mastered the power of making it so that he doesn’t have to turn around great job truly an internship well spent

“now I can yank light and warp it!” you go girl now you can whip that thing around like it’s a fucking fire hose I guess

YOOOOO MINA!!

THIS GIRL LITERALLY COATED HERSELF IN ACID AND DID A FUCKING BARREL ROLL AHHHHHHHHH. NOW THAT’S MORE LIKE IT, NO OFFENSE TO CAPTAIN DISCO DONG AND COMMODORE “I CAN DO EVERYTHING A MIRROR CAN DO” BUT THERE ARE UPGRADES AND THERE ARE UPGRADES, AND LET’S FACE IT, THIS IS THE REAL DEAL HERE

AHAHAHA I LOVE ITTTTT

is it too late for Mina to actually change her name to Acidman. what is she calling herself now again?? Pinky?? come on Mina strike some fear into the hearts of your enemies

and now All Might and the others are applauding. I don’t see Shouto’s cotton candy anymore. boy fucking inhaled that shit

oh wow, they interned under Yoroi Musha? if memory serves me, and I’m honestly not going to bother to check right now, isn’t that the samurai dude who somehow beat Ryuukyuu in the billboard charts? not that I’m still salty about that, oh wait I absolutely am but anyways

OH MY

IS THAT SOME KIRIMINA CONTENT UP IN MY PANELS. hot damn that is some cute fucking shit. Mina better not get any undue hate for this. everyone please remain calm this cute interaction does not threaten your ship in any way (unless you want it to in which case have at!!) and we can all have fun if we just play nice you guys

lmao All Might

“WE’RE ALREADY ON PAGE FOUR AND THERE ARE TWENTY OF YOU, WE DON’T HAVE ALL FUCKING DAY CHILDREN”

so Satou and Ojiro learned how to punch harder and stuff. again, it’s fine, we can’t all be Acid Men. but meanwhile they interned with some lion guy named Shishido whom I INSTANTLY LOVE so that’s badass. only one character away from Shishida though, but that’s Horikoshi for you

OH MY GOD

BLAH BLAH YES ENHANCED SEARCH TECHNIQUES ZZZZZ BUT FUCKING LOOK THOUGH AT THE FLASHBACK OF HIM YEETING THEM, YESSSSSS. THE OLD WAYS HAVE NOT YET BEEN FORGOTTEN, GANG ORCA YOU ARE THE HERO WE DESERVE

meanwhile Sero, Kami, and Mineta learned how to literally kill people with their quirks flkdjsflk

(ETA: btw I really love that Mt. Lady’s internship emphasized teamwork. now there’s someone who’s come a really long way her own self. anyway I stan and she had better join the other two in the the top 10 real soon. come on BnHA society get with it.)

damn Mt. Lady what the fuck. “if you guys work together you can suffocate and electrocute villains to death with ease!” the government’s plan really is working huh; these children have become bloodthirsty, ruthless killers in a shockingly short period of time

anyways so Iida as we all recall learned how to be more footloose and fancy free, and meanwhile Kouda learned “smooth communication” from Wash, the literal washing machine man whom I also don’t still harbor a grudge against for inexplicably beating my dragon queen in the hero polls, and once again that is a lie because fuck you Wash! you’re adorable but fuck you!!

man this is taking forever why are there so many kids in this class. for anyone wondering why Horikoshi doesn’t focus on class 1-A as a whole more often and leaves them as supporting characters, this right here is why. I love these children to death but we would still be stuck in the basement arc. oh my god I just shuddered

Tokoyami mastered “improvement on all fronts” because I guess he kind of peaked at flying when it came to new moves huh. that’s fine for now

and Kiri mastered “making baddies lose the will to fight real quick” which sounds like some bullshit you’d write while desperately trying to pad your hero resume, except that it’s accompanied by this convincing panel of him chomping a steel bar in two or some shit which YIKES

can confirm, if some demonic rock man came trotting up to me and snapped off some railing from some stairs and fucking snapped it like a twig with his GIANT FOSSILIZED DINOSAUR TEETH, I’d lose my will to fight pretty quickly too

and Ochako and Tsuyu learned “determination” smdh. Horikoshi did you fucking fall asleep towards the end of this segment or what

WHO IS MAJESTIC OMG

excuse me did she just create a bunch of fucking dynamites. is that what those are. is my girl encroaching on my young son’s turf. because if she is, ENCROACH, MOMO, ENCROACH! FEEL FREE TO FUCKING IMPINGE, EVEN!! god, and I know I was bitching just a moment ago about these “lessons” becoming increasingly vague and intangible and motivational poster-y, but I read Momo and “predicting and acting efficiently”, and my thoughts immediately ran to Nighteye and Mirio’s fighting styles, and I was like “YESSSSSSSSS” because, I mean. YES, though

meanwhile Kacchan has learned...

this fucking -- I swear -- YOU LEARNED WHAT YOUR FUCKING HERO NAME IS GOING TO BE YOU TROLLING PIECE OF SHIT. oh my god. Katsuki I swear to god I will take your internet privileges. NO SRIRACHA FOR A WEEK UNLESS YOU TELL ME WHAT IT IS

oh for fuck’s sakes

don’t mind him he learned boom with five b’s and three oo’s what did you all do this week. and somehow Todoroki learned how to be even more fabulous

so All Might’s looking on in pride and giving Endeavor some mental props, and waiting for Deku to go do his thing too

sdfkj he’s thinking about the day he gave Deku THE HAIR and that “[it] feels like ancient history now.” DOESN’T IT THOUGH?

OH MY FEELS

“you don’t look back at me anymore... and you don’t need to.” oh Aizawa’s dry eye has spread to me now huh. must be those January allergies. and that’s some nice bloop there kid. great jorb

someone tell All Might he’s not allowed to look on at Deku with this much fatherly love without giving me at least a week’s notice in advance

sigh. now you’ve done it you two I’m going to become a big cat blob of feels right here and it’s all on you. you did this

oh my god a whole big panel of reactions from the other kids and I’m ( ˊᵕˋ )

lol Kacchan can’t agree with anything even if it’s a compliment. and lmao, who the fuck was that who was all “TODOROKI FINALLY YOU’RE A FAST FUCKING HIMBO HUH!” like they really went and put that “finally” in there, like they were so fucking tired of Todoroki Shouto and his LANGUID FUCKING PACE all the fucking time, GOD, FINALLY SOME SPEED BOY WE WERE DYING OUT HERE

Mineta being happy for Deku also warms my heart, ngl. we’ve gone almost an entire chapter with Mineta not doing anything even remotely perverted, can it be, has Horikoshi finally chilled the fuck out. or did I just jinx it we shall see

also love how Deku is just reduced to an inkblot here and it still is him beyond any shadow of a doubt. and poor Sero, you are also being impinged on huh

lmao Mineta’s just socking Deku in the solar plexus out of comradery and Deku’s fucking vomiting on reflex and not even paying the slightest attention wtf

I love this panel there I said it

so he’s going over and thanking Ochako for “that time” and says he’s using Blackwhip a lot better now. I assume he’s referring to when he first unlocked it and went hog wild and she was all “smh” and went and hugged him to put an end to that nonsense

oh, right!!!!

I forgot about those!! looool Horikoshi’s 2020 resolution is to make everyone Spider-Man now huh. hey everyone guess what I LOVE THIS

oh my god this wholesomeness

I fucking can’t?? yo I’m seriously living for this? I don’t get why some people think Deku inhibits Ochako’s character growth tbh. or that her story is becoming all about him. if it is, then it’s in the same way that Bakugou’s is. Deku keeps inspiring her to be better, ain’t nothing wrong with that. yes she has the crush, and she’s honest with herself and in tune with her emotions enough to be aware of it and to acknowledge it, but she refuses to be distracted by it. I actually really like that, because it shows that romantic feelings can actually exist and not be the central focus of a character’s story or their development. and I think the fear is that it somehow will become the focus, but so far I haven’t seen that happening, so it seems unwarranted to me

anyway

shit’s cute

oh no Mineta’s doing something weird I fucking did jinx it I’m sorry guys. it’s a fucking fistbump dude relax

so All Might seems to be dismissing them now, and he’s saying something about how he reordered (?? rescheduled, maybe??) class so that Aizawa can watch later. that’s nice. he’ll need something to cheer him up, and if Acidman can’t do the trick I don’t know what can

and now we’re cutting back to the dorms!! dorm shenanigans yessssss

oh no shit wait

these are not playful dorm shenanigans these are depressed Miczawa shenanigans to bring me down. nnnn

but Aizawa fucking knows something is up now, shit. that’s right son your babies are in danger

KLJKLGLKSH

okay (1) HOW HOT IS AIZAWA THOUGH HOW DOES HE ALWAYS DO THIS

and (2) is “have a karaoke contest” code for “fuck shit up” or what. son of a bitch, having these two so personally invested in the Noumu arc now is such an unexpected and wonderful gift

MIRIO NO

(ETA: but you all know Aizawa was about to say “I’d go and fuck shit up” though.)

I LOVE YOU BOTH BUT THEY WERE HAVING A SEXY ANGSTING MOMENT, MIRIO CAN YOU NOT READ THE ROOM!! DO YOU NOT SEE THEM BEING ALL ANGSTY AND DARKLY CONTEMPLATIVE!! YOU TWO OF ALL PEOPLE SHOULD KNOW WHEN LOVERS ARE BONDING OVER THEIR ANGST WHICH ONLY THE TWO OF THEM UNDERSTAND! FUCKING GODDAMN

NO!!!!!

[SLAMS HANDS ON TABLE] HORIKOSHI I SWEAR TO GOD IF YOU LAY ONE FINGER ON HER PRECIOUS HEAD

NOOOO MY SWEET BABY GIRL

oh my fuck that sweater is the cutest fucking thing and this girl has had no shortage of cute outfits let me tell you. BUT ANYWAY SHE’S SCARED AND CRYING NOOOO. holy shit her horn is fucking huge now I don’t feel comfortable with this at all, and Nejire is Best Mom for not giving a single fuck and holding and comforting her regardless of the risk, I love her so much

OH THANK GOD

PALPABLE RELIEF. boys I’m sorry it was wrong of me to yell, you did the right thing interrupting their sexy brooding

BREAK ROOM AHHHHH THE SCOOBY SQUAD LIVES AGAINNNN

it means you constantly amaze him!! you have so much potential he doesn’t even know what the limit might possibly be! don’t act like you don’t love it. or stop being so suspicious and trying to look for the hidden meaning and just accept the praise for what it is. you did good. now ask him if he’s heard any news about Best Jeanist :/

!!

that’s right, he was researching and making faces a while back, are we finally gonna find out what all that was about??

DSLFKAJSLDKFH

HE MADE A NOTEBOOK FOR HIM AHHHHHHHH HE KNOWS WHAT HE LIKES THIS IS AMAZING

DOES HIM GIVING HIM THE INFO IN NOTEBOOK FORM MEAN IT’S UP TO DEKU WHETHER OR NOT HE WANTS TO SHARE THIS INFO WITH KACCHAN. HMMM. OBVIOUSLY HE WILL, BUT THAT’S A REAL POWER MOVE THOUGH, DAMN

“PAST SUCCESSORS / QUIRKS” EVERYONE, THIS BOOK CONTAINS THE SECRETS OF THE SIXQUIRKS. AND THE PREVIOUS OFA AVATARS. THAT’S FINE I’M JUST GONNA. ...I’LL BE FINE. FOR TWO WEEKS. FUCK

shit. well I know it was coming, that’s another reason why I didn’t feel particularly rushed to read this chapter lol. I kinda wish I’d had the foresight to save the Korean scanlation though, just to compare. ah well it’s probably still lying around somewhere

and lol and here’s the bonus page, and this one I did see floating around tumblr haha

I’m not sure how the three smartest kids in class are all present and yet not one of them had the foresight to consider that maybe, just maybe, this could be a bad idea. let’s let the kid with the combustible sweat handle the mochi I’m sure it’ll be -- [everyone immediately dies]. anyway so that’s some good friendly advice from Horikoshi there. happy new year friends!

[mdwatchestv]

Everything I’m Going to Watch in April: *** SUPER QUARANTINE EDITION***

I mean.... here we all are then.

Usually in these blogs I try to keep the fantasy alive of like “oooh maybe I really am going to watch all of these shows!” But, let’s just cut to the chase - you’re bored, you need to fill the yawning void of time between now and when they let us back outside (June?), you clicked on this for cold hard content recs. I hear you, I see you, I adore you, I’d love to embrace you, but most importantly: I got you. This month, I’m listing everything that could even remotely be in the realm of watchability. I do it for you.

BUT FIRST - Let’s talk about QUIBI. Quibi (“Quick Bites”) has been a looming threat for a long time and its time is finally nigh. Designed for “people on the go” (lol remember them?), it’s tv, movies, and docs released in ten minute or less “bites” on your mobile device. I think it’s supposed to tap into the same part of your brain that wants to watch 100 Tik Toks when you are technically “in bed” but haven’t put your phone down yet. It launches April 6 and you can get a 90-day free trial! Just the length of the rest of our time indoors! And on that date Quibi is ready to absolutely blast you in the face with a shotgun of content and celebrities. Chrissy Teigen is a judge, Chance the Rapper is Ashton Kutcher, Liam Hemsworth is a dying task rabbit. We are flipping murder houses, break dancing, and learning how to become drag queens. Also turns out this is the final resting place of When the Streetlights Go On! Who knew. I can not do individual recs because I am just one girl, and Quibi is a vast, merciless ocean of bites. However you are welcome to  drown in a full list of their offerings here: GOOD LUCK 

Now in case Quibi doesn’t permanently disfigure the television industry and forever alter all of our viewing habits, here’s what’s on “real” TV:

Friday, April 3rd 

Home Before Dark (Apple +) 

A tiny child journalist solves a cold case in a small town! This is based on a true story (?!?!?) Adorable! Gritty!

Harley Quinn Season 2 (DC Universe)

If you want to continue the high of Birds of Prey, I have heard the animated series is actually pretty good. No idea how to get DC Universe tho, you’re on your own there.

Money Heist Part 4 (Netflix)

La Casa De Papal! Never been a better time to learn to speak Spanish AND plan the perfect heist with your hot criminal friends!

Tales From The Loop (Amazon Prime) 

A sci-fi show based on Simon Stålenhag’s paintings (see above). Its Swedish, its futuristic, Rebecca Hall is in it. Feels like more of a vibe than a show tbh, but the painting is cool!

Sunday, April 5th

Kim Kardashian West: The Justice Project (7pm on Oxygen)

I KNOW some of you want to watch this.

Thursday, April 9th

The Good Fight S4 (CBS All Access) 

PSA: This is back for those who partake, and CBS All Access is doing one month free! Sir Patrick said so!

The Circle: France (Netflix)

Okay so I did watch all of The Circle, Netflix’s social media reality show. Am I proud? No. Am I going to watch it in French? Yes.

Sunday, April 12th AKA NATIONAL PWB DAY

Killing Eve Season 3 (9pm on BBC America / AMC) 

Admittedly, I was underwhelmed by season 2 but that’s only because season 1 set the very highest bar imaginable. Our favorite murder girlfriends are back with a NEW lady show runner, so blank slate baby. Speaking of the perfect season 1, it is all on HULU. 

Run (10:30pm on HBO)

After Killing Eve hop right on over to HBO where this show from PWB’s writing partner Vicky Jones premieres! What a day for us! Ex-lovers abandon their lives to RUN away together. Merritt Weaver! Phoebe is actually IN it!  Romance! Intrigue! Also I have official confirmation: Domhnall Gleeson is doing his natural accent for those of us made nervous by the teaser. 

Wednesday, April 15th 

Mrs. America (FX but on Hulu) 

Look, I’m just going to come out and say what we’re all thinking: Rose Byrne is the most underrated actress alive, every performances is a master class, and her American accent is a work of art. Anyway she plays Gloria Steinem in this and she’s going to absolutely crush it. This miniseries about the ERA could not be more on brand for me: fabulous actresses of today, playing feminist heroes of yesterday! Thank you FX, for this gift. And thank you Australia for Rose Byrne (and Cate Blanchett!) 

What We Do in the Shadows Season 2 (10pm FX on FX and then on Hulu) 

Season 1 also on Hulu to catch up! Maybe even I myself, your dearest blogger, will catch up. Anything is possible.

Thursday, April 23rd 

We’re Here (9pm on HBO)

Shangela, Bob the Drag Queen, and Eureka travel the country and empower people by making them into drag queens! Like a hug for your heart (in case you never actually physically hug anyone ever again).

Friday, April 24th 

Defending Jacob (Apple +) 

Chris Evans has to defend his son, Jacob. Look, do you want to stare at Chris Evans or not?

Sunday, April 26th

Penny Dreadful: City of Angels (10pm on Showtime)

A sequel to the OG Penny Dreadful, the new series takes place in 1930s Los Angeles and Natalie Dormer in a leather dress, Natalie Dormer in a leather dress, Natalie Dormer in a leather dress, and um other supernatural chaos too I guess.

Vida Season 4 (9pm on Starz)

One of the shows most recommended to me I haven’t watched. I’ll say to you what my friends say to me: “Martha it’s only 30 minutes!”

Monday, April 27th

Never Have I Ever (Netflix) 

A teen comedy by Mindy Kaling about an Indian-American girl growing up in the valley. There will be awkwardness and growth! I love teens!!!

I Know This Much Is True (9pm on HBO)

2 Mark Ruffalos. 

Okay if you can’t find something here to whittle away the minutes unto freedom then idk how to help you. Please stay inside and watch tv, stay safe, I love you, I’m thinking of you <3

XO MD

[valeriethepussycats]

All Night Long

Aka Regarding Dean

Beyoncé- all night long

Pairing- Dean x Black Reader, Sam x Reader( Best friends),Kelly x Reader(best friends)

Warning- cursing (and the episode. Everybody and they mama know how emotional this episode was.)

Summary- Sam gets his Best Friend and  Rowena’s help to find a powerful family of witches after Dean gets hit by a spell that is rapidly erasing his memory did I forget to mention that’s she Dean’s Ex. What could possibly go wrong.

Y/f- your father name

F/h-favorite hairstyle

Your thoughts in italics.

A Wounded man running through the forest as fast as he can. He is bleeding from a wound on his side. He stops to make a call. Cellphone ringing.

“You have to. No! Listen to me...Get out of there.” The man voiced into the phone.

Dean is seen running after the man. He sees the man stopped by a tree and fires a shot at him.

“Just go! Now!”he uttered.

The man runs off again, leaving behind a smear of blood on the tree. Dean appears again looking for the man. He sees where his bullet hit and the smear of blood. He hears a rustling sound and heads towards it gun drawn. He comes upon the man on one knee facing another tree.

“You people. You never learn, do you? Always trying to run. “ Dean Announced.

The man turns around, and we see that he has carved something into the tree which is beginning to glow with a purple light.

“Dearmad!” The man yells.

There is a flash of purple and Dean is knocked to the ground unconscious.

○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○

Somewhere in upstate New York

A beautiful two-story yellow wrap around porch house that sits near a lake is where Y/n and Kelly are currently living to hide from supernaturals.

Kelly currently sitting down in a rocking chair in the living room with Y/n sitting on the couchWatching TV. ”It’s been bugging me for the past two days what’s going on with you  and our neighbor I saw how he was lookin at you another day.” Kelly Announced unexpectedly to Y/n.

“Nothing and even if I wanted someone else I would look for similarities to Dean in them and that’s not fair.” Y/n replied in a calmly tone.

“You’re still love him” Kelly stated instead of asking.

“He still leaves messages of what’s going on with him, Sam and Cas.” Y/n said with a Controlled smile dodging Kelly’s question with ease.

“I was doing some reading on Angel Lore and found out that I’m going to die given brith.”

“Kelly.-“

“No this was my choice he is going to need mother and I want you to be his.”

“Kelly let’s worry about names before you give me The responsibility of taking care of a child ok” Y/n Informed Thoughtfully.

“I was thinking Y/f after my best friend father” Kelly Happily declared.

“No no you don’t have to do that what about Jack after my best friend father. “ Y/n replied with a kool-Aid smile.

“Ow.” Kelly grunted.

“Are you ok is something wrong” Y/n rushes to Kelly.

“It’s nothing he’s kicking I think he likes that name Jack “Kelly replied with a fond look.

Y/n smiles hiding her uneasiness.

○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○

Eureka Springs,Arkansas

Dean is laying on the ground. There is a rabbit sitting beside him. Dean wakes up suddenly, looking hung over.

“Ohh...”Dean starts to sit up a bit, brushing leaves out of his face.”Ugh.”He looks down and sees the rabbit. “Hey, buddy” He moves the rabbit behind him and stands up. “Mm. Ah. Wow.” He looks around, unsure of where he is. He pulls out his phone to make a call and sees the screen is badly cracked and his phone no longer works.“Oh, come on.”

He turns around and sees a walking path not far from where he's standing. There are several people walking/jogging along it.

“And I was like, "Andy, the dog's vegan." The women with a  stroller exclaimed to whoever she was on the phone with.

“Hey. Hey.” Dean said trying to get the ladies attention.

“How could you give him–“ The woman finally notices Dean.“Excuse me. Do you mind if I– “. Woman gasps and recoils from Dean. She reaches into her purse hanging off the stroller and hands Dean some money. “Wha-“

“Just don't buy a drink.” The women answer. The woman's baby makes some noises as she starts walking away. “I-I know, Stacey.”The women remarked.

“Huh” Dean said in a courteous manner. Dean looks around again and sees a man jogging towards him with a dog. He walks up to him to talk. “Hey. Hey, hey, hey. Excuse me.” Dean Announced  making The man stops jogging.

“Look, uh, uh, I'm not a – not a bum, okay?” Dean started. The man removes his ear buds to hear Dean. “Just somebody who really needs to use a phone. Do you mind?” Dean asked.

The man hesitates, and then unplugs his headphones and hands Dean his phone.

“Great. Thank you.” Dean said with a  note of relief. Dean walks a short amount away from the man to make his phone call.

“Okay.”Dean dials a number and the phone starts ringing. Sam's phone light up with a phone call. Sam picks up.

“Hello?” Sam questioned”

“Sam?” Dean replied.

Sam is relieved to hear from Dean, and concerned about where he's been all night.

“Dude, where the hell have you been?” Sam wondered. Dean looks around the park confusedly, and at the man jogging in place.

“I’m not really sure about that.”

“You—Well, where are you now?”

Dean looks around again.

“I'm not real sure about that either. I, um... “ Dean replied. He hears truck horns blaring and sees a Waldo's Waffles sign.

“Oh. Ha ha. I'm starvin'. How you feel about waffles?” He Asked Sam.

Sam makes a confused noise. “What?”

“Dumb question. Right. What psycho doesn't love waffles?” Dean grinned. Sam is totally confused by what Dean is saying.

“ I mean, they're fluffy. You got the little pockets full of syrup. You just cover 'em in whipped cream. Am I right? Anyway, meet me at Waldos', okay?” Dean explained then hangs up and gives the phone back to the jogger. Sam is very confused and tries to say something, but Dean has already hung up. “Hey—Ma–.”

The murmur of quiet conversations and the door closing as Sam walks in and heads towards Dean, who is sitting at the counter, eating waffles. Dean turns towards Sam and feels disappointed that he doesn’t see Y/n as he walks up to the counter. “Oh. Hey, did you bring any, um...” Dean grimaces and motions to his head.

Sam holds up and shakes a pill bottle.”Yes.” Dean beamed grabs the pill bottle as Sam sits down next to him.

“Sounded like you could use it.” Sam noted as Dean opens the pill bottle.

“Oh, man.”

“Rough night?”

“Rough morning.” Dean answered takes the pills out of the bottle and takes them with his coffee. Sam watches him bemusedly.

“Wh-What happened? I mean, you just went out to get some food.” Sam stammered.

“I don't know.” Dean murmured.

“What does that mean?” Sam asked.

“I-I guess I blacked out. And judging from this hangover, it was epic.”Dean motions to his head.

“Well, I tried to call you.” Sam Told Dean.

“Um....”Dean pulls out his destroyed cell phone and holds it up for Sam to see. “Oh.” Dean tosses his phone on the counter. “Not sure how that happened.”

“Great.” Sam pulls out his own phone. “All right, well, I'll text Mom, make sure she knows to get a hold of me in case of emergency. And Cas, in case he tracks down Y/n and Kelly.

Dean's face screws up in confusion at the mention of Kelly. Sam looks at Dean incredulously. “The mother of Lucifer's love child? Also the one you made Y/n chose over you.” Sam told Dean.

Dean suddenly remembers who Kelly is. “Right. Right. Yes, the Devil baby mama drama.” Dean grins, looking quite amused with himself. “Say that five times fast. Devil baby mama drama.”

Sam turns towards Dean and glances at the plate of waffles he's eating and the one that just arrived. “All right, Dean, you know, uh, you had a good run, but maybe let's pump the brakes a little bit. I mean, you're not 20 anymore.” Sam voiced.

Dean just stares at Sam for a moment. “Okay, one, the Rat Pack partied till the day they died. And B, I can still kick your ass.” Dean answered turns to face the front again and takes another bite of waffle. Sam scoffs at him. Dean, with his mouth still full calls for more waffles. As he does so, a group of young women enters. One of them appears to recognize Dean before joining the rest of the group which has sat down.

“Mm. Got a man who needs some waffles down here.” Dean called out.

“ –Oh, no. I'm—I'm fine. I'm...” Sam noted.

“You can just take these if you want.” Dean said pushes a plate of waffles towards Sam.

Sam puts his hand up to get the bill, and checks his watch. “No, Dean. Look, the morgue opens in, like, 10 minutes.” Sam shared as Dean takes a sip of his coffee and again looks confused.

“The morgue?” Sam stares at him.

“The autopsy results. Are you still drunk?” Sam questioned. Dean turns his head slightly towards Sam, but doesn't look at him. “I don't think so.” Dean stated as Sam leans over and sniffs Him.

“All right, our—our case?” Sam began. “The dead guy, throat stuffed full of money. Any of this ring a bell?”

Dean seems to remember what Sam is talking about and is nodding his head. “Right, yes. Right. Um...the accountant. Barry Gilman.” Dean replied.

“Right.”

“Right.”Dean turns towards Sam. “Uh, and you think he got his ticket punched by a demon.” Dean proposed.

“Maybe.” Sam guessed.

“Okay, but when we went over to his place yesterday, we got a whole bunch of jack and a little bit of squat. There was no hex bags, no EMF, no sulfur, which means no case.” Dean replied turns back to his waffles as Sam sighs deeply.

“Yeah, but if it's not a case, then what is it?” Sam stated while Dean picks up his coffee and turns back to Sam.

“I don’t know. Death by money? You know, maybe the guy got whacked by, uh, some mob dude with an ironic sense of humor. “ Dean said  taking a sip of coffee. Sam chuckles and turns.

“All right. Well, I'm gonna go scope out the body. If you wanna spend some more alone time with, uh, your waffles...all right. Have fun.” Sam disclosed and  gets up from the counter. The group of women that previously walked in, with the one woman turned to face the boys.

Dean wipes his mouth with a napkin and turns to get up as well and follow Sam.

“Fine, hold up.” Dean called to Sam and he turns to Dean and motions to the counter.

“Did you pay?” Sam queried then Dean stops and reaches for his wallet.

“Oops, no. Right.”

“You got it?” Dean tosses some cash on the counter. Behind him we see the girl from the group approaching.

“I got it.” Dean said.

“This is last night ” Said The woman looks angry. She then smacks him across the face and storms back to her friends. Sam gives Dean a questioning look, watches the girl as she walks away and then looks back at Dean. Dean stands there for a moment, then nods once.

“Yep. Epic night.” Dean said in a dry tone.

Dean walks past Sam out of the restaurant. Sam stares after him.

○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○

Y/n is outside in the backyard chopping wood when her neighbor Nathan Jones Mr. Tall, dark, handsome. He kind of puts you in a reminder of Superman and not the Superman Returns but the Man of Steel.” Hey how are you” Nathan said walking up to Y/n.

“Good just chopping up some logs trying to clear my head. You.” Y/n said in a Casual tone.

“Oh nothing I was just about to head into town and thought you might need somethings.”

“Oh wow Thank you Nat that’s so sweet” Y/n grinned as she stop chopping wood to really look at Nathan.

“I realize you don’t like to leave Kelly alone so I thought I would help you out” Nathan finished looking at Y/n with sincere written all over his face.

Y/n hugs Nathan. “You’re the best um I’ll get you a list and then when you get back I’ll pay you back” Y/n promised.

“Or you could pay me back with a date tonight we don’t even have to go out I’ll cook for you.”Nathan said in a flirtatious way.

” You can cook.” Y/n Breathed out.

“I’m a man of many talents.” he answered smirking at Y/n.

Y/n giggled uncontrollably.

What the actual hell is wrong with me.

Y/n looks up at Nathan.

Maybe I should let Dean go.

”I would love too” Y/n beamed at Nathan.

“So seven” he replied.

“Seven is perfect.” Y/n said in a soft voice smiling.” I’ll go get that list for ya.” Y/n said walks in the house getting a grocery list Kelly already made and walks back outside to Nathan and hands it to him.

“Well I better get going I’ll see you later” Nathan told Y/n before walking away.

○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○

Driving up to the morgue Sam and Dean gets out the. Car Sam proceed to walk into the morgue but Dean hangs back and Sam notice.

“You coming”Sam asked Dean.

”Ya I’ll be in an minute I have to find my badge.”Dean lied trying to be alone.

“Ok I’ll head in” Sam replied as he walks inside the morgue.

As soon as Sam disappears into the morgue Dean pulls out his phone and dial Y/n’ number. Dean waits for the voicemails to hear her voice because he knows she will never answer the phone not anymore.

“It’s Y/n leave a message.”

“Hey I was just calling to um I don’t know I was going to but-“ Pauses.“I miss you I didn’t realize how much I missed you until this, morning when I saw Sam walking into Waldo’s alone and him remind me why you left. I hope there’s a part of you that listens to the messages I..I gotta go.” Dean said in a sad grimace hang up the phone. Clearing his throat so he won’t sound too emotional when he walks into the morgue.

The body of an older man on an autopsy table with his upper torso uncovered. The boys are in their FBI suits standing beside the body. One of the morgue staff walks in carrying a box with evidence from the body in it. She hands it to Sam and turns to leave.

“Hey.” Dean said getting Sam’s attention

Sam takes the box the staff member is holding.

“Uh, thank you.” Sam said to the morgue staff.

“Great. We’ll let you know if we need anything else. Thanks.” Dean said. The staff member leaves, closing the door behind her. Dean looks slightly uncomfortable.

Sam places the box on a stand beside the body. “All right.” Sam Asserted as he  begins looking through the autopsy report. “So cause of death was suffocation. Officially.”

“Okay. We already knew that.” Dean told Sam.

"See evidence bag B 1-4." All right.” Sam replied puts the report down and opens the box and looks through the bags in the box, which all contain items that are covered in blood.

Dean cringes and turns away. “Ugh. Mm.”

Sam pulls out a bag full of very bloody money. Dean looks like he may throw up.

“Huh.”

Sam turns and shows the bag of money to Dean.

“Says they pulled all this from his stomach.”. Sam answered as Dean is trying to avoid looking at the bag while trying not to throw up.

“Mm-hmm – Mm. Big breakfast.”Dean Breathed lookin briefly at the bag and then turns away covering his mouth. “Okay.”

Sam looks at Dean and turns to put the money back in the box. “All right.” Sam noted.

Dean continues to make gagging sounds while Sam looks through the box. He finds a small bag with a small pink hex bag inside. “Mm. Ugh.”

“Well, well.” Sam started as he takes the bag with the hex bag inside out and shows it to Dean. “You were saying about an ironic mobster?”

Dean sees the bag and sighs. “All right, so...a witch force feeds old Barry here a hex bag and then casts a spell.”

“Yeah, a spell that pumps him so full of cash, he dies choking on it.”Sam said turning and puts the bag back in the box.

“Ugh. Witches.” Dean murmured as Sam picks up the report again and looks through it. “Well, I guess it's true what they say. Mo' money, mo' problems. Right?” Dean proclaimed smiles and chuckles to himself and walks past Sam and out, as Sam just stares after him.

“I hope you're still drunk.” Sam mused follows Dean out.

The boys leaving the morgue  and walking to the car. “So why would somebody want Barry dead? I mean, what, did he screw up a tax return?”Dean questioned.

“He's actually more of a money manager.”Sam explained.

“Well, whatever he was, looks like he, uh certainly made one hell of a...uh... “Dean trailed off. Sam stops and looks at Dean he tries to remember what word he's looking for.

“Enemy?”Sam finished for Dean.They reach the car and continue talking briefly before getting in.

“Enemy. Yeah. Those guys.” Dean murmured.

“Maybe he blew the wrong person's savings.” Sam wondered.

“All right, well, let's check out his clients.” Dean disclosed as he fumbles around with his keys.

“Which one? Barry worked for the richest families in town.” Sam questioned as they both open the doors and get into the car. Dean is sitting in the drivers seat looking through his keys as though he doesn't know which one he needs. Sam watches in disbelief.

“Wow. Man, you were serious about epic. It's the square one.” Sam joked.

Dean seems slightly confused.“Yeah. I know.” Dean inclined.

“You-“ Sam started.

Dean starts the car and puts it in gear. He looks behind him, getting ready to back out. He gives it gas and ends up going forward and crashing into 2 newspaper boxes, where a woman is looking at a paper. Sam looks up startled.

“Son of a bitch.” Dean said in a casual tone.

“Come on!” The lady yelled.

“What the...” Sam voiced.

“Really?!” The lady said with Fire.

“Sorry! Our fault. I... “ Sam explained as he looks at Dean in shock. Dean seems to be quite confused as to what's going on.

“R for "reverse," Dean.” Sam commented to Dean as he just sits there confused occasionally looking up at Sam. He seems unable to focus on what Sam is saying or to what's going on around him.

“Listen, man, I-I know we haven't had it easy lately. This thing with the Devil's kid, getting tossed into West Guantanamo and Y/n leaving makes me wanna crawl into a bottle, too, sometimes, but...dude, you're wrecked.”

Dean's gaze is wandering and unfocused.

“And we got a case to work so get it together, all right?” Sam made public but Dean doesn't respond.

“Dean? Dean?” Sam called.Dean looks up and turns towards Sam.

“Who's Dean?” Dean question and Sam looks very confused and concerned.

○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○

Y/n is getting ready for her date looking at reflection in the mirror as Kelly waddles into her room.

“You look Smokin hot is you getting all dolled up for neighbor boy.” Kelly beamed as she looks at Y/n’s hair it’s in her F/h. Y/n’s outfit a  Black leather jacket with a red and black shirt and blue jeans, and some Dr. Martens Hurston Chelsea Boot.

“Yes I am he asked me out on a date. He’s going to cook for me” Y/n squealed.

Once again what the hell is wrong with me... maybe it’s about food and I’m not cooking it ya let’s go with that.

Phone rings that pulls Y/n out her thoughts as she goes to see who’s phone is ring. It her’s she answers it without checking who’s calling.

“Hello?” Y/n questioned.

“Y/n?” Sam questioned standing outside his and Dean motel room.

“Sam?”

“I honestly didn’t think you would answer....I’m glad you did.”

“In all honestly I didn’t see who called I thought it was Nat.”

“Nat who’s Nat?” Sam wondered in a curious tone.

Y/n chuckled. Man I miss Sam.”He’s a friend”

“Hmm well I called you to tell you that um Dean in trouble he’s losing his memory. I know that you left because of Dean but it would mean a lot to me if you could come to Eureka Springs,Arkansas.” Sam asked.

“I’ll be there.” 

Sam is Flabbergasted he didn’t think it would be that easy.“Thank you Y/n.”

“You don’t need to thank me Yosemite I will always be here for you.” Y/n said with a fond look. ”I’ll be there as soon as possible bye.”

Y/n hangs up the phone then finds Kelly.

Kelly is sitting in her Rockingchair.

“Hey Um something came up and I have to go to Arkansas.” Y/n revealed.

“Why what happened.” Kelly asked in a small panicky voice.

“Dean he is in trouble and Sam needs my help it’s bad Dean is losing his memories and Sam worried that Dean will become and empty shell.”

“Ok do what you have to do.” Kelly said hiding the disappointment in her voice.

“You can come with me if you want you’ll just be stuck in inside the Hotel room until all of this is over.” Y/n Remarked.

“No no I’ll be fine here.” Kelly insisted As she gets up from her Rockingchair and walks away from Y/n.

“Kelly what’s wrong.” Y/n asked as she follows her.

“Y/n what if they put a tracking device on you. What if they follow you back to me-.”

“Sam is like a brother to me and if anything ever happened to him when he called and asked me for my help I wouldn’t be able to live with myself. I won’t let them find you OK you have my word on that and my word is my bond” Y/n answered.

“Just be safe.” Kelly replied trying to hide her worried.

“Of course I am I’ll be back before you know it.” Y/n said getting ready to walk out the door but Kelly’s voice stops her.

“What about your date with Nathan.”

“Damn it that is to nights.”

“What are you going to tell him.”

“The truth someone I care about is in trouble and they need my help.” Y/n said as she walks out the door closing early she walks over to Nathan’s house she knocks on his door anxiously waiting for him to open it

Right when I’m about to mover on Dean Winchester ruins it-

Y/n thoughts gets cut off as Nathan opens the door.

“Your early I just about to start cooking looking amazing” Nathan Announced

“I really like you Nat but something came up someone I care about is in trouble and they need my help.”

“Ya it’s ok go be there for then.” Nathan answered.

Y/n smiles and kiss Nathan on the cheek.

“As soon as I get back I’m cooking you dinner thank you for understanding I got to go.” Y/n told Nathan then walks away.

○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○

“I told you, I'm fine.” Dean Announced to Sam as he walks into their motel room.”What were you do out there?” Dean asked wondering what took Sam so long to get into there room.

“Nothing nothing...Dean, you forgot your own name.

“For a second. Okay, yeah, that was weird.”Dean commanded as he walks over to one of the beds and takes his jacket off.

Sam closes the door and walks towards Dean.

“All right, look, we know we're dealing with a witch, right? Maybe you got hexed.” Sam pointed out as Dean takes his jacket and gun off and tosses them on the bed.

Dean turns to Sam in slight amusement.”Dude...If a witch got a clear shot of me, I would be dead, okay? I wouldn't be freakin', uh...Dory. “ Dean explained.

“Dory?” Sam asked Dean.

“I'm not gonna apologize for loving that fish. Not to you, not to anyone.” Dean declared.

“Right. Okay. All right. If you're doing so well, name all the members of Bon Jovi.”Sam insisted.

Dean scoffs.”Okay. Uh, we talkin' circa 1983?” Dean began.

“Sure.” Sam agreed.

“Done. We got Bon Jovi.” Dean pauses, unable to remember the rest.”Whatever. This is stupid. Sam, I'm fine. Okay?”Dean disclosed turning and walks back towards the bed.”I feel great. Look, Uh... “Dean stated.He turns and picks up his gun and looks back at Sam.”This is a gun.” He pointed out dropping the gun back down and points to his coat. “This is a coat.” He walks over to the lamp in their room and gestures at it. “This is a...a...a...light stick.”Dean noted.

Sam is startled at Dean being unable to remember the proper word then Sam pulls off the sticky note and stands up. He walks over to the lamp and puts the sticky note on it. It says Lamp.

“Fine, but until you get better...”Sam told Dean as he  looks at the note and snaps his fingers.

“Lamp. Right. So close.” Dean commented.

A poker game taking place in what looks like a server room of sorts. Rowena is playing with 3 men. He pushes all his chips to the center of the table.

“Shall we end the suspense?” One of the man said laying his cards down and Rowena lays her cards down and  they are much better than the man's.

She laughs.”What's that? Six in a row? Beginners luck.” Rowena commented.

She reaches over the table to pull all the chips towards her. Her cell phone rings as she's collecting her chips. She looks at the number and excuses herself from the men to take the call.

“Oh. Gentlemen, if you don't mind.”Rowena Asked  walking a short distance away and answer the call.

“I'm a wee bit occupied at the moment. Rowena shared.

“Yeah, well, we need your help, Rowena.” Sam revealed.

“Oh, really?” Rowena answered.

“Come on, man. Rowena? I mean...” Dean trailed off. Dean is inspecting the mini fridge as Sam speaks to Rowena.

“Yes. Really.” Sam confirmed.

“Hey?” Dean called out and Sam turns to Dean.

“Tiny vodkas. Score.” Dean grinned and Sam shakes his head.

“Am I saved to your contacts now? Tell me. Have I got my own ringtone?” Rowena wondered.

“This is serious. Look, I think Dean's been hexed okay? He—He's been forgetting things.” Sam announce.

Rowena turns to look back at the poker game as she speaks.“Maybe he's just drunk. Oi!” Rowena question.

“He's not drunk.” Sam answered.

Dean picks up the ice bucket and points inside it. “We need ice.” Dean announced as he continues pointing at the bucket. Sam just shakes his head at him and ignores him.

“We could do a memory spell. But did his hair fall out? His body too?” Rowena made public.

“What?” Sam questioned.

“From the neck down, is he smooth like a Ken doll?” Rowena asked with a curious tone.

Sam looks grossed out at the thought of that. “I don’t know. Uh, and I'm not checking either.”bSam avowed.

“Rules out a mnemonic curse. The obliviate spell wipes the memory clean over time, but it's intricate magic. I... “ Rowena started.

“How do I break it?” Sam asked.

“Theoretically? Kill the witch. Or true love kiss so you know you would have to talk to right.” Rowena declared.

“Ya got it. She already on her way” Sam answered.

“how do you pull that one off” Rowena wondered.

“Y/n still cares about me and Dean so of course she’s going to help if one of us is in danger now I got to go.” Sam replied hanging up the phone and turns to talk to Dean only to find out that Dean has left to get ice.

“All right. So...Dean? Dean!” Sam said in a small panicky voice running out of the motel room and looks around outside.

“Dean!” Sam shouted as He runs up to the second level and keeps looking.

“Dean?” Sam called out as he walks around a corner and finds Dean trying to get into another room with the ice bucket tucked under his arm.

“Dude, what are you doing?” Sam Queried then Dean turns to look at Sam.

“Getting ice. What are you doing?” Dean asked Sam.

“That's not our room.” Sam commented.

Dean looks around confused and then shrugs and walks away.”All these dumps look the same.” Dean replies as they start walking back down to their room.

“So this spell, I'm stuck in some sort of "Memento" crap?” Dean Stressed.

“Right. The fix sounds fairly simple. You just find the witch who did it and kill it or true love kiss.

“Oh, Halle-freakin'-lujah but there’s no way Y/n coming to help us so plan a kill the freakin’ witch.” Dean noted.

“So Y/n is your true love?” Sam Asked and Dean gives Sam a look that can only mean shut up.

“Right well I think you got hexed last night.” Sam revealed

“Yeah?” Dean Asked.

“Yeah. We need to retrace your steps. All right, think.” Sam replied as they stop just outside of their room. “What's the last thing you remember you did?” Sam questioned.

Dean thinks about it and the taps the ice bucket and opens the lid. “Uh...I got some ice.” Dean replied.Sam looks frustrated with Dean.

The boys looking around Barry Gilman's office again.

“Okay, from yesterday, the last thing I kinda sorta remember is us being here in um... “Dean trailed off. He snaps his fingers to try and remember as he wanders over to the desk.

“...guy's office. Uh...” Dean mumbled.

Sam is looking through shelves in front of the desk.”Barry Gilman.” Sam informed.

“Yes. And...we were here and we were, uh, we were looking for leads.” Dean pointed out, as He opens a red lacquered box on the desk and finds cigars inside. He takes one and puts it in his coat chuckling. Sam is now standing in the middle of the office. “Yeah. Douche tax.” Dean claimed.

“Yeah, you did that yesterday, too. All right, come here.”Sam answered.

Sam walks over to a wall with pictures on it. Dean joins him there.“Check these out. Do these shake anything loose, these pictures.”Sam Asked.

Dean looks at the pictures. He seems to look at one a couple times, but doesn't remember anything. Then Dean looks over at one photo in particular of the accountant and another man in a blue jacket. “No. None of them.” Dean noted.

“Okay, think hard. What happened next? I went to hit the lore. You went out for a burger. So... “ Sam trailed off.

Sam looks hopefully at Dean.“So....” Dean shrugged.

Dean gets frustrated that he can't answer.“What do you want me to say? I-I ate 'em?”Dean questioned.

Sam is getting frustrated with the lack of information.“Okay, okay. You know what? It's not a big town. How many burger joints can there be? Come on.” Sam stated as they  walk out of the office.

Hailing a taxicab Y/n pulls out her phone and texts Sam.

Y/n- I’m here

Sam feels his phone buzz in his pocket and he reachers for it and see it’s a text from Y/n.

“Hold on.” Sam called out to Dean as he is about to walk into a pub then calls Y/n.

“How did you get here so fast” Sam questioned.

“I got on a plane three hours and seventeen minutes so where am I going?” Y/n told Sam.

“Meet us at Blue Boar” Sam replied.

“Ok I’ll be there in ten.”Y/n informed hanging up the phone getting in to the taxicab.

“Blue Boar please.” Y/n told the cab driver.

Part 2

[mysticdragon3md3]

The Meaning of Death: BoJack Horseman vs. The Good Place by Wisecrack

When they started talking about “all books have endings”, I couldn’t help but think of comic books, going on and on and on.  Before I switched to manga, I read American comic books, americomi.  So it was a shock to me, to get into one of my first favorite manga series and reach its end.  No rolling into new writers, artists, or storylines.  Just “this is the end of the series”.  And yes, it was nice to have a story so cohesive---with repeating motifs, foreshadowings, properly placed milestones of emotional progression, a perfectly unfolded theme(s)---because CLAMP had an ending in mind, even when they gave Rayearth a sequel series.  But when that first series ended, I didn’t know what to do.  Magic Knight Rayearth had taken up so much real estate in my brain’s fangirling, that I didn’t know what to do with it gone. I felt an empty spot, that was pretty big.  And years later, when Ranma 1/2 ended, there was melancholy and loss too.  ...Though, Ranma 1/2′s open-ended  “ending” to the manga felt reassuring, that Ranma and Akane were still out there, up to their antics.  But I think when that manga ended, some small part of me was still a little unsatisfied with the lack of finality.  Though compared to the vast majority of fans, it was a very small part.  I was actually very happy to feel like Ranma and Akane were still out there.  Even if their further adventures were only in our imaginations.  But yeah, it’s got nothing on americomi that has gone on for years and years and decades.  LOL

I watched Bojack but not the Good Place, so I thought I’d stop watching this video before spoilers.  But I don’t think this is even the first video essay on The Good Place, that I forgot to check out of before spoilers.  Whatever.  I used to be immune to spoilers.  My immunity has gone down, but I still feel that a series is as good as the experiences of its moments, vs just knowing what happens in the plot and the end.  I want a series/movie/story that feels good to re-watch, because the individual scenes are good experiences, in and of themselves.  So what do a few little spoilers---like plot points---matter?  lol  

And maybe that explains why I never liked the idea that death gives life meaning.  It sounds like the moment to moment experiences are negated or invalid.  If you’re suffering, it “doesn’t matter” because death will make it end and that will be meaningful in some retroactive symbolic way. If you’re enjoying a moment, then it “doesn’t matter” unless it’s eventually ripped away from you, or you or someone else eventually suffers.  Maybe it’s the suicidal depressive in me that doesn’t like the invalidation of the hells or heavens of each daily, “mundane” moment.  Once my sister and I watched a suicide scene in a movie and she didn’t understand why the character did it because he was happy in his relationship.  I just told her cryptically, “It’s an artist thing.”  Maybe I didn’t want to actually talk about the fear of good moments turning bad or wanting to seemingly stay in good moments by making life cut off right there.  Not that I agreed with the character. (Personally, I think death/suicide is for ending and resting from the never-ending suffering that is existence.)  He could have continued on, having many more good moments, he couldn’t have possibly imagined with his significant other.  My sister was right.  Death doesn’t give anything meaning.  It’s like what dream-Herb said in Bojack Horseman, “It’s just your brain trying to make sense of things.”  That’s just what human brains do.  But the comforting interpretations of people left behind doesn’t make anything better or worse for the person who had the actual experiences.  Maybe my problem with the idea  “can’t enjoy anything without it eventually ending” (or even “no light without darkness and no good without evil”), is because it probably plays into the same anxious insecurity that I have to deal with in real life.  I’d like to be able to feel secure in good things/experiences staying and not being called “invalid” unless it has an end in sight.  I’d much prefer for things to evolve.  Even if they transition so much that they’re no longer recognizable from the original, then at least each state was gradual and the necessary fit for each corresponding situation.  I’d prefer that good moments be appreciated, instead of being told they’re invalid unless they have an ending.  And I’d prefer bad moments stop, vs being told it has meaning, like the universe giving you “tough love” so you can learn to become “stronger” or whatever.  Sometimes shitty situations/feelings are just shitty.  And anyway, there’s no guarantee that everyone reacts the same enough to predict whether “tough love” will yield a “toughened up spirit” or a traumatically scarred mentality; the only certainty is that the dispenser of “tough love” is being callous, discompassionate, and often trying to make excuses to “allow” such abuse.  If there’s anything that’s given me the closest understanding of objecting to “the ends justify the means”, it’s my objection to the implication that the day-to-day daily moments don’t matter unless Death.  Like Cloud said in FF7AC, “There’s nothing that isn’t important.” 

Though I can be a little bit of a nihilist about life never having any inherent meaning, I actually just like the ideas that life can be given meaning and that there’s nothing cheap about that manufactured meaning.  (Who told that allegory about a man-made fire to sit by, being just as good as a fire that came out of no where?)  Even though I haven’t watched The Good Place, I like a lot of stories/series about immortality, my Personal Myth uses it a lot in Thought Experiments, and I do like muddling over such themes accompanying immortality.  I feel, just like a truly enjoyable movie/series/manga, the value is in the experiences of scenes and moments.  So what if you already have experienced everything for yourself and know how everything is going to end or know what patterns are going to repeat forever?  You don’t know what a moment feels like to someone else.  One of the tragic failings of language is that humans will still never be able to communicate their exact experiences to each other, no matter what the means of conveyance.  Anything short of a psychic hive mind is still inadequate communication, even that could be considered a singular being who doesn’t know how to communicate to other entities.  (Not without some trial and error, like in Eureka 7.)  It would be just the same as like individual humans to individual humans.  But maybe I just find an unusual amount of value and joy in experiencing things by proxy or from the outside.  Maybe it’s because I’m oversensitive and the bluntness of actually having first-person experiences is too intense for me.  But I enjoy watching someone else having an experience or even just imagining how they experience something, even if I myself have experienced it a zillion times.  Like when I watch an anime I already saw, in a video room with other people at a convention, or listen to reaction videos of a scene or movie I’ve already seen.  No matter how jaded I’ve become to the event, watching someone else have an experience and me trying to imagine what it must feel like for them, reminds me of how I felt when I first experienced the same thing.  But not just a recall; rather, the feelings actually re-manifest as a full emotional experience in and of themselves.  Not just a recollection of events in a plot.  Of course, a whole group of immortals jaded with their own experiences could become too dependent and addicted to the need for fresh people to have experiences for them to re-experience things freshly, by proxy...  ^.^;  There’s just something irrevocably new each time, to dealing with someone who isn’t already experienced with everything.  And all because no matter how jaded and “been there, done that” you’ve become, you still have to be kind and empathetic to other people.  Like when I was a teacher’s aid for 3 year olds, for 6 years.  I wonder if empathy is the reason why watching someone else’s experience, second-hand, by proxy, can be just as intense as a first-hand experience.  I wonder if the writers of The Good Place or all the philosophers cited would have had the notion that “once you’re jaded to your own experiences, there’s nothing else to experience”, if they were neuroatypical?  Where any of them HSPs?  And I don’t think that using other people as proxies for reinvigorating re-experiences is the only use of inexperienced people.  I think that genuinely caring for their emotions, not knowing what they’re going to do when you interact with them, having hopes that they’ll experience things well, and adjusting your interactive tactics to help guide them to good experiences, is instinctually emotional each time.  Or maybe my brain is just weird to care too much whenever someone is standing in front of me in real life.  But I really don’t think it’s just me.  As proof, there’s a lot of problems in the world caused by people ONLY caring about people in front of them in real life, so it can’t be that uncommon.  So then why get so jaded after depleting your own experiences?  Am I saying that mentorship is the “ultimate answer”?  lol  I dunno. But it would explain why people like raising children, even children not their own, when working as teachers.  In my Personal Myth, my main character is spiritually dying inside because she’s immortal and life is a never-ending hopeless trudge, that she no longer has the Strength to improve.  So she hopes instead for death, as a lazy way out.  But continually, new people she meets, and new experiences with old people she’s met before, keep pointing to the answer being to return to the Fight, the everyday battle to continuously improve.  After all, even in the jaded mindset, apparently perfection is still unattainable, because even complacency and satisfaction can spoil into stagnation.  So the answer was in the “martial arts anime” genre all along.  That must be why it always rung true enough for me to encounter it again, seeing the same tenants repeated in the artist community.  “Continual self-improvement”, “compare to your past self, not to others”, “progression is only measured by your own path, not someone else’s years of experience or natural talent”, “fear stagnation and complacency”, “be more concerned with self-improvement vs aggrandizing your ego”,  “recognize the True Strengths of Compassion vs Power”, etc.  Whether art or in anime martial arts, existence is a never-ending battle, constantly teetering on the edge of falling, then gritting your teeth to climb back up, again and again.  There’s always so much to do in existence, how can any humans get bored?  Maybe being jaded is less about having nothing new left to experience or do.  Maybe it’s more about being too tired to contract and expand to adjust to other people? Or just being too tired to overcome the fear that nothing will be different, no matter what you do or what happens, enough to stop trying?  Maybe I’m just falling into human cliches to value Evolution.  Or maybe that’s just the necessary value of anything living.  “Sometimes life is a bitch, but then you keep living,” to paraphrase what Diane said in Bojack Horseman.  Believing that Living and being truly Alive has to be about constantly evolving, both spiritually and mentally, is probably necessary for my survival as a living being.  Evolved into instinct, out of necessity.  

[isitmadness]

A Handsome Stranger

story summary: Driving 1,300 miles in a truck with a complete stranger. This will be fine. This was what desperation will get you. Desperation and something akin to love-at-first-sight.

chapter summary: Ben and Cody feel lots of things for each other. The sunset and karaoke helps.

relationships: Cody/Obi-Wan Kenobi

words: 5.9k

a/n: I liked the idea of these two idiots on a road trip in an AU/modern setting, so I wrote one. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯  Also, I decided to go back and post chapters 3 & 4, too, I don’t really know why...this is my favorite chapter though. 

Read it on ao3

Part 1: A Handsome Stranger at the Airport

Part 2: The Handsome Strangers Talk

Part 3: The Handsome Strangers Take a Detour

Part 4:  A Handsome Stranger Does Karaoke

After leaving Muir Woods, Cody and Ben decided to take the 101, drive until they were too tired, and see where they ended up. Ben didn’t realize how uninteresting parts of northern California could be, but at least the company and conversation were interesting and kept Ben’s attention easily. This time they ran the gamut of deeper subjects, but attempted to avoid the elephant in the room. Until they just couldn’t anymore.

“So…” Cody started carefully. “Quin, huh?”

Ben scrubbed a hand over his face. He anticipated that question and yet he still wasn’t ready. “That went nothing at all like I expected, quite honestly.”

“What did you expect after two years?” It was a little more direct than perhaps Cody intended, but well, the question was out there now. Ben sighed. “I didn’t, um...I--”

“No, no, it’s all right, Cody,” Ben interrupted. “Quin and I were friends for so long before, I just...figured...it’d be back to the way it was before. And that was perhaps very naive of me.” Ben was quiet for a moment before he spoke again. “I truly am sorry for dragging you along and just sort of leaving you there.”

Cody gave him a small smile, “Well I got to talk to Depa at least.” He didn’t tell Ben that he learned some new and interesting things about himself. That perhaps he wanted Ben to stick around a bit longer.

“I learned some new things about myself though.” Ben interrupted Cody’s train of thought and once again he found himself worried that Ben could actually read his mind. “And as I said before, I gained some closure. So, I think it was worth it in the end.”

What Ben couldn’t tell Cody was that he already felt something for Cody that he never did with Quinlan - a certain camaraderie and an odd sense that maybe in another life they worked side-by-side in mutual trust. Quinlan would be his friend again, and he still loved him as such, but he and Ben were just too different in important ways. And he very much wanted Cody to stay in his life even when they reached Seattle.

“How’s your booboo, by the way?” Cody decided instead to change the subject.

Ben chuckled and reached up, ghosting two fingers over the bandage, “Well, I think it’s healing despite not receiving a kiss to make it all better.” He squeezed his eyes shut, realizing immediately how awkward he made it. He really had a knack for that.

All Ben got in return was “hmmm.”

“Yeah, I should probably stop talking,” Ben finally said with a nervous laugh.

“You can’t though, I’m nowhere close to tired and we need to make up for some time lost. Remember when you said ‘Seattle isn’t exactly next door to San Diego’?” Ben groaned and threw his head back against the cab wall. That at least made Cody smile.

Ben narrowed his eyes, “How dare you throw my words back in my face. I don’t say things out loud for them to be used against me later when convenient.”

Cody laughed, “Well, I have some news for you, Ben...Seattle really isn’t next door to San Diego. You were right.”

----

Later, Ben found himself driving again as the 101 took them back oceanside around Eureka. He found it to be one of the more picturesque parts of their trip. With the sun slowly making its descent towards the horizon, it was all Ben could do to not pull over and just stop, sit on some beach, and watch.

“So, we’re not going to make it to Oregon tonight, are we?” Ben asked.

“No, I don’t think so. I think it's too far...someone had to waste so much time with an ex-boyfriend." Cody very pointedly did not look at Ben, but Ben could still appreciate the playfulness.

"I told you detouring in San Francisco was a mistake but you wouldn't listen!" Cody turned to look at Ben who merely winked.

Oh no. Ben was flirting again. Cody hated it because it made his inside twist in knots. But he also secretly loved it and hoped Ben would never stop. He finally narrowed his eyes and looked at his companion. “You want to stop again, don’t you?”

Ben acted incredulous for about two seconds under Cody’s withering stare. “I don’t… what-- what gives you that idea?”

Cody chuckled, “I just had a feeling.”

They went around a bend in the road and Ben was suddenly silhouetted against the sunset, the orange evening light making his hair redder than ever. Cody’s mouth was suddenly very dry.

Ben turned and smiled, “Well, I guess you should trust your gut since you were right.” He found Cody staring, but couldn’t quite comprehend the look on his face. “Is there something on my face?”

Cody shook his head a little too vehemently. “No, no, it’s nothing...I was just, uh, watching the sunset on the ocean.”

“Funny you should mention that…” Ben smiled again. “That’s the reason why I wanted to stop.” Cody hesitated. "Another chance to stretch our legs before the final push?"

Cody had to admit that Ben was good. He would have stopped anyway, but at least Ben gave him an actual compelling reason. “Oh, all right,” Cody relented. How could he say no?

----

They found a pull-off with quick access to the ocean at Clam Beach, and lucky for them, it was mostly abandoned. They took off their jackets, sweaters, shoes and socks, left them in the truck, then rolled up their pants legs and walked out on the beach. They walked around, stretched their legs, and searched for seashells. Ben finally walked out into the ocean, running back and forth whenever the tide came in, and Cody watched with affection. He had to keep telling himself that within a day or so, they would reach Bremerton, part, and he would probably never see Ben again.

So he decided to enjoy the moment while it lasted. He took his own touristy photos of the sunset and his companion.

Cody decided to finally sit and Ben joined him a few minutes later, looking flushed and truly the happiest Cody had seen him yet. He plopped down on the sand, smiling. “I know the day isn’t over yet, but this is probably one of the best days I’ve had in a really long time.”

Cody looked at him, “Me, too.”

“Even despite the San Francisco detour?” Ben nudged him with his elbow.

Cody finally smiled, “Yes, Ben, even with the detour.”

In the direct sunlight, Ben noticed that Cody’s lovely brown eyes almost seemed to glow amber. He pulled out his phone and opened the camera, “If you don’t mind, I’d like to commemorate it, but also this will give me proof to send to Anakin...you know, to let him know you haven’t killed me yet.” At this Cody laughed.

“Weren’t you supposed to be the killer in this scenario?”

“Yes, you’re right, but Anakin doesn’t know that.” Cody sucked in a quick breath as Ben leaned in closely. He was so close now he could feel the man’s body heat through his thermal shirt. Ben held his phone out in front of them, and they both managed to smile for a quick series of photos. “Also, apparently Padme wanted to know what you looked like, but I think it was really Anakin.” Ben grinned as he flicked through the photos quickly to make sure they came out okay.

Cody scoffed, “Right, right...blame it on the wife.” He had wondered briefly if Ben hadn’t just wanted the photo for himself, but then decided he was reading too much into it. And when he saw Ben typing out the message to Anakin, it was decided. He cleared his throat, "So, anyway, I'm not really sure what we're going to do about a hotel. I'm not familiar with the area we’re in or where we will be in an hour or two."

“Well, lucky for us my phone still has power, so let's see what I can find."

As they hunched over Ben’s phone, he found he couldn’t have asked for a more perfect ending to the day than sitting shoulder-to-shoulder in the sand with Cody, listening to the crashing of the waves as the sun dipped below the horizon.

They finally settled on another picturesque-looking town only an hour and a half away called Crescent City where they would stop for the night.

----

Cody and Ben stood in front of the truck and took in the property. It sat right on the ocean, and though the sun had vanished beyond the horizon, they could still see the view was incredible. The motel on the other hand....well, the view was still nice.

"At least the sign says 'vacancy,'" Cody pointed out.

"Except because I think Norman Bates runs this thing," Ben mused.

Cody huffed a laugh. "Here's your chance to improve your 'we're both murderers' story." Cody elbowed him in a playful gesture that caught Ben slightly off-guard. He liked it.

"Well there is that. You make a compelling argument."

Cody reached across Ben and pointed at the other building sitting on the property. "AND a bar within walking distance. What more could you want?"

Cody turned back towards Ben and caught him staring, a soft expression on his face that he didn't quite understand, or, rather, one he was afraid of accepting. He was once again close enough to feel the heat coming off of him. How had he gotten so close to Ben without realizing it?

"Nothing at all, it's perfect," Ben finally answered, never taking his eyes off Cody.

"Hmm, yes...well, you may want to retract that statement once we see inside both places," Cody nearly stuttered. His heart was hammering in his chest and he was sure Ben could hear it.

"So what if I get the rooms this time, and you get us a table?" Ben asked as he headed in the direction of the motel office. "Not that I expect there to be a wait...but there might not be much to do around here this time of the night, and well, this might be the life of the town."

Cody grinned, "I can do that."

----

Cody stepped into the bar and looked around. It was a DIVE. And there really was a wait because it was packed. For some reason, it seemed to be the happening place in this small seaside town. And Cody was also horrified to find it had karaoke. He hated karaoke.

He hovered near the entrance while a small dark-haired woman belted out two 80s rock songs, and he longed for ear plugs. Well, at least there would be alcohol.

And Ben.

The man appeared suddenly at his elbow as if summoned. "Hello there.” He glanced around the room. “There's actually a wait?"

"Yeah, can you believe this?"

"It seems to be quite popular! I mean, karaoke? How could anyone resist?" He laughed.

Cody groaned, “I could...quite easily. How about the rooms? Did you get those okay?"

Ben coughed into his hand, "Well, about that…"

Cody stared at him. "Please tell me they had rooms."

"Room,” Ben said, emphasizing the M at the end of the word. He held out a key to Cody who took it. An actual hotel room key. Neither of them had seen one in so long.

"Singular?" Ben nodded.

"It was literally the last room they had. I saw her switch on the 'no vacancy' before I left," Ben added.

What would one night hurt, right? They were adults. They could handle the same room for one night. But now that meant Cody would have to watch his alcohol intake. An ex once called him an 'amorous drunk' and he did not need that happening.

"Well, as long as it's safe and clean, right?" Cody added after some time. Ben nodded. "And how much was it?"

Ben chuckled, "I think you're going to love this…$60 for the night."

Cody looked surprised, he expected at least $80 for the view. "What? How…?"

"Well...she saw the truck outside with your naval stickers on the back. I told her we had just come from San Francisco and you were moving to Kitsap. The next thing I knew, we were newly-married, but we can't take a honeymoon yet because you're in the navy, so this little road trip is all we have." Cody was flustered but honestly impressed at how well Ben spun the story. And it…wasn't even completely false. "So she, uh, gave us a discount."

"I can't believe you used me for a cheap room," Cody said with almost a hint of a smile.

"It's just one night, darling," Ben continued, seemingly unaware he had just dropped the term of endearment. The way it just rolled off his tongue delighted Cody; however, he was already sweating and he hadn’t even begun to drink. "She just wanted to help out a newlywed couple, and well, I didn’t correct her." Now Cody couldn't decide if he wanted to smack the smug grin off Ben's face or kiss it.

"Just two?" The hostess interrupted.

"Yes," they answered in unison. She sat Ben and Cody in a booth in the middle of the side of the bar. Closer to the karaoke than Cody would have liked, but not right next to it, thankfully.

Ben hooked a thumb over his shoulder towards the small stage. "So, do you…?"

"Sing?" Cody finished the sentence for him. "Certainly not in front of a bunch of drunk people."

Ben laughed, "But that's the best place! No one cares how bad you are!"

"Ben, are you going to embarrass me tonight?"

He grinned again, "Do you know any of these people?" Cody shook his head slowly, not quite sure what that had to do with anything. "Ok, so who cares? You're never going to see them again in your life. And also, remember, they're drunk? They probably think they're at a real concert." Ben took off his cardigan, and Cody found himself distracted once again by his collarbone and freckled forearms. He looked down at the menu and tried to become very interested in it instead.

"What can I get you boys?" Their waitress appeared at the end of the table.

"Hello there!" Ben greeted her with enthusiasm. "I'll have whatever ale is darkest and two fingers of whisky."

She looked over at Cody, "I'll just start with a hard cider for now."

"You got it," she said and left.

"I wouldn't have picked hard cider for you," Ben said, leaning forward.

"Yeah, well, I'm trying to go easy I guess.

"Fair enough," Ben replied as he looked around the bar. It was loud and vibrant. He hadn't been out drinking in so long, and certainly not with such a handsome partner. He watched the karaoke stage as the next person came up to pick their song.

"I see you eyeing that stage…" Cody's voice pulled Ben's gaze away from the other side of the bar.

He smiled, "It could be fun! It's only a thought. I'd have to have a little more than one pint and one whisky though."

"Oh yeah, that's just what you need," Cody sighed.

"I can hold my liquor! I think you'd be surprised," Ben said in mock offense.

Cody shook his head, "Please don't think that was a challenge. I can't have you throwing up all night and into the next day. We need to make it to Kitsap tomorrow."

"It'll happen, Cody, don't you worry." Before he realized what he was doing, Ben reached over and squeezed Cody's hand.

The waitress used that most inopportune moment to return with their drinks and gave them a sly smile when they both pulled away quickly. "Ale and whisky for you… and cider for you. You want anything to eat?"

"Wings and fries for me," Cody answered.

"And how about a burger for me, medium," Ben followed up.

She winked at them both, "You bet."

----

Their very late dinner was passing pleasantly enough despite some of the singing. Which was...well, terrible, at times, and made it impossible to hear at others. Because Ben got tired of asking Cody to repeat himself, he got up and came to sit on Cody’s side. They sat shoulder-to-shoulder, nursing their drinks, talking and watching singer after singer try their hand at karaoke.

It may have been the effect of the alcohol, or all the bodies in the bar, but the place had gotten warmer and Cody eventually took off his jacket and outermost flannel layer, too. Ben knew he was staring, and he tried not to, but every time Cody reached for his glass, he couldn't help but notice the flex of muscle in his forearm. And he appreciated the view.

"I think I need to visit the loo really quickly," Ben said, getting up suddenly.

Cody was surprised that Ben jumped up so quickly, but he nodded all the same. "Well, I'll be here."

Ben reached down and gently touched Cody's nose, "Of course you will."

Cody absolutely didn't know what to do with that. He exhaled a breath he didn't even realize he was holding and slumped into the booth. He couldn't get drunk. He was having a hard time being near Ben, and the idiot had to come sit right next to him, too. He slid over on the bench. Maybe if there was no room when he came back, he'd take the hint and sit on his own side.

The thing was...he wanted Ben to sit beside him. He wanted to wrap an arm around his waist and pull him close. Nuzzle his hair and place a kiss to his temple, then cheek, then mouth. He wanted. And that terrified him.

Tomorrow they would be in Kitsap. They would maybe even exchange numbers but they would go their separate ways. Cody would get his promotion, adjust to life on a new base in a new town, and Ben would be reunited with his family and become an uncle. Maybe they would see each other every now and then, but Ben would live across the water in Seattle. They would be friends, linked by several crazy days on the road up the west coast.

Cody was picking at the fries on his plate when the opening refrain of 'Beyond the Sea' started playing. It was an interesting choice considering all the 80s and 90s music they had suffered through all night long. No one had dared touch the older classics. But he froze as soon as the person started singing, his heart pounding in his ears.

Ben was going to embarrass him.

Somewhere, beyond the sea Somewhere, waiting for me My lover stands on golden sands And watches the ships that go sailing

Cody watched in equal parts horror, amusement, and extreme fondness as Ben took the microphone off the stand and made his way around the floor. He knew every single word, and boy, could he sing. Cody was floored.

Ben made his way towards their table with a wide smile on his face.

Somewhere, beyond the sea He's there watching for me If I could fly like birds on high Then straight to his arms I'd go sailing

He winked at Cody and turned around, winding his way through the tables being quite the performer. He was charming the socks off everyone in the bar. Who was this man?

We'll meet beyond the shore We'll kiss just as before Happy we'll be beyond the sea And never again I'll go sailing

The waitress came by again smiling at Cody, "Another cider for you? Or you need something stronger?"

"Whisky, double...bring another for him, too. I'm sure he's going to want it when he's done." She smiled and nodded.

Ben finally finished his song to raucous applause. No one had gotten the reception he had all night. Cody was still slightly embarrassed, but he was also secretly proud that he'd return to his table. Which he did not two minutes later, just in time for the waitress to greet him with another round plus more, "Whisky is from your boyfriend here, but all the other is from the bartender who says thanks for the amusement and well done."

Ben laughed, breathless. "Ah! Thank you most kindly." He picked up the whisky from the table and lifted it to her.

"Really though, we don't generally get that kind of entertainment in here. It was delightful," she smiled and left Ben and Cody alone once more. In his extreme confusion and adoration, Cody had forgotten to slide over, so Ben plopped down beside him once more, bumping arms and shoulders.

"Well?" Ben was still breathing a bit heavier than usual, and he was flushed, which was quite cute. "Did I embarrass you?"

Cody swallowed thickly and picked up his own glass to down the contents. He needed to drink, but he also needed to clear his head, and the drink wasn't going to do that at all. He finally chuckled, "Yes, you really did."

Ben laughed. "Good."

The stupid idiot didn't even know how much he was making Cody fall for him. And Cody was a stupid idiot for falling. "But really though," Cody cleared his throat. "That was impressive, I had no idea you could sing."

"I have to keep some of the mystery, don't I?" Ben leaned into Cody and lowered his voice. "If you knew everything right out of the gate, you wouldn't want to spend any more time with me." Oh the bastard did know what he was doing. This was so much worse.

Cody arched an eyebrow, "Who says I want to spend any time with you? I needed help paying for the truck, remember?" He took a sip of his beer to hide his grin.

Ben huffed in annoyance. "Right, of course, silly me."

They nursed their drinks, ordered dessert and watched the next parade of singers. They decided to make it into a game: guess the genre before the song began then rate the performance. Cody was a lot harsher than Ben, but he seemed to be enjoying himself, and that made Ben glad.

"You know," Ben started. "On the beach earlier, I thought the day was already the best one I had had in awhile, but this, right now, is truly icing on the cake."

Cody looked at him and felt a very peculiar fondness. "I have to say, I agree."

At that, suddenly Ben leaned closer, emboldened by the alcohol and the warm, hazy atmosphere in the bar. He couldn't be positive, but he thought Cody was leaning in, too. He got close enough to feel the heat radiating off the man...just one inch closer--

"Wait." Ben froze and blinked. "You're drunk." It was a simple statement of fact. Cody pulled away.

Ben chuckled nervously, "Aye, maybe a little. I'd say...more...buzzed really."

"It doesn't matter," Cody shook his head and Ben stared, dumbstruck. "If we're not careful, we may--”

Ben swallowed and closed his eyes, “Please don’t say it…”

“...do something we'll regret." Cody shifted in the booth like he wanted to get up. Ben moved and stood up at the end of the table. Cody stood, too and dug his wallet out of his pocket and put several bills on the table. Ben watched as Cody put on his jacket and walked through the bar and out the front door.

Ben remained, dumbfounded. What the hell was that? He had thought Cody was interested in him. But perhaps he was mistaken. Well, obviously he was. He had misread signs before, so this certainly wouldn't have been the first time. He mentally kicked himself for letting it happen again. He slipped his cardigan back on and left his own money on the table, silently cursing under his breath. This was going to make the rest of the night extremely fun and not awkward at all.

When Ben stepped outside, there was no sign of Cody. He growled, "Couldn't even wait for me to walk back to the motel, eh?" He said to absolutely no one. A man who had just closed his car door in the parking lot gave him a strange look, and Ben fought the urge to stick his tongue out at him.

"There is peace, there is peace, there is peace," he repeated like a mantra with every step he took back towards the motel. The crunch of the gravel beneath his boots was a centering comfort.

Once he reached their door, he pulled the key out of his pocket—who still used actual keys?—and fumbled trying to get it into the lock. His hands were shaking, okay, maybe he was more than slightly buzzed, and he found himself getting increasingly frustrated that the key wouldn't turn. He was drunk, yes, but not that drunk. How could Cody have locked him out? Did he have the locks changed? Ben exhaled and laughed, "Ben, you idiot, how would he get the door locks changed?"

As Ben mumbled to himself and tried to enter the neighbor's room, Cody stood in the entrance of their own room, leaning against the door frame. He knew it was impolite to laugh, but he was a little amused, and he didn't really plan to make him suffer long. He straightened up and cleared his throat.

"You going to stand there all night and try to get in the neighbor's room, or what?"

Ben jolted and dropped his key at the sound of Cody’s voice. He looked between Cody and the door he'd been previously trying to enter. It was fairly dark outside, so Cody couldn't be sure, but Ben seemed to be blushing.

"Ah." He bent down and picked up the key and shuffled to their room, keeping his head down the whole way. He might have been annoyed that Cody left him in the bar, but he HAD tried to kiss him. He couldn't make eye contact. He stopped just shy of the door and rubbed a hand across the back of his neck.

Cody waved his hand into the room, a gesture that told Ben to enter. He stopped abruptly when he saw the inside. There was just one bed.

He looked to Cody. "I swear I didn't know, I assumed there would be double beds."

"You didn't think to ask?" Cody sounded mildly annoyed.

"Well, no…" Ben said sheepishly. "Although, I guess I should have known when she thought we were married, but then again, it was the last room. I can, uh...go back out there and stay after we get our bags. I can sleep in the truck." Ben turned to walk back out of the room but Cody grabbed his upper arm. Ben felt his skin burning.

Cody sighed, "You'll do no such thing. It’s late, and we have another long day tomorrow, so we probably should just get ready for bed. We’re adults - this will be fine."

Ben nodded, "Let me go get our things then."

Cody sighed and sat on the end of the bed to wait. He was extra grateful he had decided to not drink so much, but one bed was still going to be a challenge when all he wanted to do was kiss and touch Ben. And Ben very clearly wished to do the same. He felt a heat rising in his chest at the thought. It had been years since he had been with anyone.

Ben returned several minutes later with their bags, looking tired and less jovial than he had inside the bar. Cody was fairly certain he had quashed all of Ben's romantic notions. He stood and went to the door to close and lock up. "You take the bathroom first. I can wait."

"No, no, I insist you take it first," Ben sat on the end of the bed and kicked off his shoes. Despite taking them off in the truck earlier at the beach, he still dumped sand all over the carpet. He chuckled to himself thinking of how much Anakin would have hated it.

"Well, okay, fine," Cody rifled through his overnight bag, found what he needed and disappeared behind the bathroom door.

Ben fell backwards onto the bed. You have two more days at the most… just, don't make it awkward again. He doesn't care about you in that way. He's a kind stranger who gave you a ride, that's it. When you reach the peninsula, you'll part ways, shake hands, and that'll be that. Between the alcohol, the talking to himself, and the sound of the shower running, Ben lulled himself into a light slumber, fully dressed and waiting on his turn in the bathroom.

Cody got out of the shower and toweled off. He started to get dressed and realized he had left his briefs in his bag. He could either forgo the briefs or he could be an adult and walk out there and get them. He was an adult. Ben was an adult.

But Ben had tried to kiss him. He almost let him, too. Gods, he should have.

Cody wrapped a towel around his waist and opened the bathroom door slowly. It was eerily quiet in the room, too quiet. Did Ben go sleep in the truck after all? He stepped out of the bathroom to find Ben sleeping, snoring lightly. He breathed a sigh of relief that he wouldn't have to parade half-naked in front of the man he couldn't stop thinking about. He carefully made his way back to his overnight bag and dug through it until he found what he needed.

"Oh." Came a breathy noise from behind him. He winced, of-kriffing-course.

You're an adult, you're both adults, this is fine, Cody told himself as he turned around. Ben looked like a deer caught in headlights. But Cody almost lost it when Ben reached up and covered his eyes with his hands like a child.

"Forgot something," Cody said as he practically sprinted back to the bathroom, thankful that his towel had the decency to stay in place.

----

Ben took the coldest shower he could stand, trying his best to sober up, trying his best to not think of the expanse of brown skin across a muscular back. He finished dressing and exited the bathroom to find Cody already tucked in bed. He was under the covers but sitting up reading, only looking away from his book momentarily to look at Ben. "I didn't really ask what side of the bed you wanted…"

Ben shook his head as he put away his things, "It doesn't matter at all. I'll sleep wherever you want-- wherever you DON'T WANT…shit." Ben was awfully cute when he got flustered. Cody struggled to keep his face neutral. Ben walked over to his side of the bed and pulled back the covers. He hesitated when he made eye contact with Cody. "I truly don't mind sleeping in the truck. Ocean view!" He laughed nervously.

"Ben, if you mention the truck one more time…" Cody closed his eyes and sighed. He opened them again when he felt the bed dip next to him.

Ben pulled the covers up to his chin and looked over at Cody. Cody almost laughed at the adorable picture Ben made, with his head barely peeking outside the top of the covers.

"I, uh…" Ben hesitated. "It's been a while since I've slept with someone, I mean, in the same bed, you know sleeping, just sleeping...ugh...what I'm trying to say is, I hope I don't kick you in the night or anything. And, feel free to push or nudge me if I do."

Cody raised one eyebrow. Well, at least he looked amused this time, Ben thought. "Noted," Cody finally said. "Do you mind if I read a little longer?"

"Not at all." Ben turned over to face the wall. He could feel Cody’s eyes on his back...or perhaps that was his imagination. He needed to apologize. He couldn’t sleep on the guilt eating him up inside. He turned back over to face Cody who was still reading his book. “Don’t you think this room is rather ugly?”

Cody started, unsure exactly what he had just heard, “Beg pardon?”

Ben hiccuped once unexpectedly which made Cody smile. “The room, it’s ugly. I’m pretty sure this is all original wood paneling on the walls, and perhaps all original decor? Perhaps from when the hotel itself was built...I’d say late 50s?” He looked up at Cody and grinned, and it took every ounce of restraint Cody had to not lean over and kiss him right then. It was just the alcohol, he lied to himself.

Cody stuck a finger in his book to mark his place and closed it. “So you think we should have gotten more of a discount?”

“I’m saying,” Ben started, propping himself up on his elbow. Cody’s attention was caught by the movement of the v-neck on Ben’s shirt, which shifted exposing ginger hair and a freckled chest and clavicle. He quickly looked down at his book and fidgeted. “I’m saying...that yeah, $60 shouldn’t have been the discount price. That should have been like, the starting point - maybe!” Ben jabbed one finger in the air.

Cody laughed at what sort of strange drunk Ben made. He did seem to be holding his liquor well, with a few exceptions, but he was clearly drunk. Which was all the more reason to shut down any advances. He indulged Ben and looked around the room anyway, “You know, I think you might be right. It is rather hideous. At least it’s only one night.”

Ben hummed. He laid back down, staring at the hideous popcorn ceiling. “I just...I wanted to say I’m sorry, Cody.” He swallowed, pointedly not looking in Cody’s direction, which didn’t go unnoticed. He also seemed to be in a little distress, and Cody desperately wanted to reach out and offer him comfort. But he was afraid of where it’d lead. “I’m quite good at making things awkward it seems.”

Cody thought for a moment before saying anything. “It’s fine, Ben.” He finally turned his head so he could make eye contact with him. He put a gentle hand on his shoulder and patted it lightly. “We both had a little too much to drink, and things...happen. We move on.”

Ben slowly nodded. “Move on, yes.” That was good enough of a final confirmation for Ben. “Well then, I’m sure you want to get back to your book, so, goodnight, Cody. Pleasant dreams.”

“Same to you, Ben.”

Before he turned away, Ben took a quick glance at the cover of Cody’s book—it was the one he had recommended to him. He must have bought it at Quinlan’s shop, too. Ben flushed, turned to face the wall again, and willed his heart from hammering out of his chest.

Cody continued to try to read, but really ended up scanning the same paragraph 10 times. He glanced over at Ben, wanting to reach out and run his hands through his still-wet auburn hair. Oh please don't let me make too big of a fool of myself tonight, he thought before giving up and turning off the light.

One more note:

'A Life Less Ordinary' may or may not have been the inspiration for the karaoke scene. lol

[singledarkshade]

New Old Friend

Summary: Rip finds himself in a town full of geniuses. To his surprise he’s already got an ally, which will be helpful, as his shard is in a top-secret research facility’s highest security section. Part Eight of Rip Hunter – Unstuck in Time and Space. Sequel to Unstuck In Time And Place, Under The Sea, A Mother’s Advice, Abydos Vacation, Connections, Perfect Day and Detective Hunter. Author’s Note: I probably shouldn't be posting this yet as I have only a vague idea of the story. I've never written for any of the Eureka characters before so I hope they come across okay. Anyway, hopefully the next chapter will be up soon. Enjoy Part One The smell of wet earth surrounded him as the light faded. Pulling himself up off the ground, Rip looked around. There were trees everywhere and the road he was standing on went on as far as the eye could see in both ways.

“Where the hell am I now?” Rip sighed.

With a grimace he decided to start walking. The one thing he’d learned since he’d began bouncing through dimensions was that he was usually either near the shard or to someone who was.

“Gideon?” he called, waited for a few moments before sighing again and turned to his left.

It was as good a direction as any.

Rip had been walking for about an hour when it began to rain, a few drops hit his hand before a torrent of water suddenly fell from the sky.

“Bollocks,” Rip snapped, moving to shelter under one of the millions of trees and watching the rain fall.

A horn honking made him turn to see a jeep with the words ‘Sheriff’ emblazoned on it drawing up beside him.

“Hi there,” the man leaned out the window, short blond hair, blue eyes, he had what could only be described as an ‘everyman’ quality to him, “Are you lost?”

Rip took a breath, “Possibly.”

“Car trouble?” the man Rip deduced from the uniform to be the Sheriff asked with an amused grin on his face.

Shrugging, Rip replied, “Something like that,” an idea struck him, “I was hoping to get into town and get a tow.”

“Well, I’m heading back now,” the man told him, “I can give you a lift.”

“I would appreciate that,” Rip smiled, and climbed into the passenger seat.

“Jack Carter,” the man introduced himself, “Town Sheriff.”

“Rip Hunter,” he reciprocated, unable to stop himself adding, “Current vagabond and drowned rat.”

Jack laughed and started to drive.

Jack looked at the man sitting beside him, the accent had instantly given away that he wasn’t from these parts. His hair was soaked and plastered to his head, although the long coat he was wearing appeared to have saved the rest of his clothes from the worst of the rain.

“There’s a clean towel in the gym bag on the back seat,” Jack told him, “If you want to dry off.”

“Thank you,” Rip replied sincerely turning and stretching for the bag.

Jack studied him for a moment before asking, “So what is your specialist subject?”

“Sorry?” Rip asked as he dried his hair.

Jack chuckled, “What do you have your Doctorate or PhD in? Mathematics of the Mind? Gene Manipulator? I’ll even pretend to understand.”

The man looked at him a little confused before replying hesitantly, “I work with Artificial Intelligence.”

“Sounds fun,” Jack said, “My house has an AI.”

“Really?”

Jack nodded, “Are they all bossy?”

Rip smiled softly, “The ones I know definitely are.”

Reaching the edge of town Jack watched Rip look of interest. He remembered the first time he walked into the insane asylum he now called home, how it had seemed so normal at first but then he saw the weirdness.

“You get used to it,” Jack told his passenger who was staring in bemusement at the people they passed.

 Rip stared out the window at the perfect small town he was being driven through, something was niggling at his brain about it and finally he saw what it was. A kid on the pavement was writing a complex mathematical equation in chalk, while another sat on the ground surrounded by books of advanced biochemistry. Jack’s question about what degree he held made some actual sense now and Rip began to wonder even more where he was.

Jack turned onto what looked like a main street and parked in front of the Sheriff’s station.

“Thank you for your help, Sheriff,” Rip said as he climbed out the car, “I appreciate it.”

“It’s Jack and you can pay me back,” Jack told him, “I have some boxes I need to unload from the trunk. I could use some help. I can offer some coffee and donuts. You look like you need to heat up a bit.”

Rip hesitated, trying to work out if he should just run but Jack seemed genuine and he did owe the man.

“Of course,” Rip smiled.

“Thanks,” Jack opened the trunk, “They dumped the swap meet collection on me, well I sort of volunteered,” he pulled out a box and passed it to Rip before grabbing one for himself, “No one mentioned it would mean doing so much heavy lifting.”

Following the other man inside, Rip tensed slightly as he was now in a police station. Looking around he saw the cell and worked out three ways to release himself from it there and then.

“Henry,” Jack said making Rip turn to see a man standing waiting, “What are you doing here?”

The man, Henry, grinned, “I’m here for Rip.”

Ice filled Rip’s spine and he forced himself not to demand how the man knew who he was.

“You know Henry?” Jack asked before rolling his eyes, “Of course, getting a tow.”

“Dr Hunter is joining us for a few days to help me with a project,” Henry continued, as Rip became more confused, “All his credentials should be in the system.”

Jack sat at his computer, typing with the one finger technique which drove Rip crazy instantly, “You should have told me you were here to work for GD.”

“He’s not really,” Henry said before Rip could reply.

Jack shrugged, “As long as you don’t blow anything up or accidentally nearly end the world, I’m happy to have you in town.”

Rip chuckled, still confused but replied, “Thanks, Jack. And thanks for the ride into town.”

Henry tapped his arm, “Let’s go get some lunch and then I’ll take you to where you’ll be staying for the next few days.”

  Rip walked out the Sheriff’s station with the man introduced as Henry, waiting till they were on the street before demanding, “What the hell is going on? How do you know who I am?”

“Let’s get to Café Diem first,” Henry murmured as he nodded to people greeting him, “I’ll explain once we’re there.”

Unable to argue as Henry started across the road, Rip followed. He wished Gideon were here for her opinion. Wondering if she just hadn’t found him yet or if she was busy with the Legends and hoped whatever she was doing, she appeared soon.

The café was cheerful, it only had about half a dozen people dotted around the dining area but from the smell of the food it would fill soon.

“Henry,” a man who Rip assumed was the manager walked over to them, “What can I get you?”

“Need to use one of the booths, Vincent,” Henry said, “And lunch.”

Vincent’s eyes lit up, “Something important happening?”

Henry laughed, “Just catching up with an old friend. Rip,” he introduced, “This is Vincent, he runs Café Diem.”

“Nice to meet you,” Rip nodded politely before asking.

“And you. Whatever you want to eat just tell me,” Vincent told him with a smile, “Our motto is, ‘You want it, we’ve got it’.”

Rip smiled amused, “Give me a few minutes and I’ll let you know.”

“Booths are just back there,” Vincent smiled before leaving them to talk to someone else.

Following Henry, Rip slid into the booth across from him in the very back corner.

“Who are you?” Rip demanded softly, “And how do you know who I am?”

Henry reached into his shirt pocket and pulled out a folded piece of paper, “My name is Henry Deacon and I know who you are because you told me, the last time we met.”

“The last time we met?”

Sliding the piece of paper across to him Henry smiled, “This might help.”

Picking up the paper, Rip unfolded it and read the note.

You can trust Henry, Spaniel, Broad, Tricycle. Rip.

“I wrote the note,” Rip breathed.

Henry nodded, “About six years ago. For me anyway,” he shrugged, “I don’t know how long it will be for you.”

Rip let out a sigh of relief, “Then you know who I am?”

  “And what can I get you gentlemen?” Vincent appeared at their table before Henry could explain any further.

“I’ll have the linguini,” Henry ordered, “And my usual coffee.”

“And you?” Vincent turned to Rip adding when Rip hesitated, “Whatever you want I can make. What’s your favourite meal?”

Rip shook his head with a chuckle, “One of my favourite meals is Fish and Chips.”

Vincent laughed, “And I thought you were going to make things difficult. What about a drink.”

“Tea please,” Rip replied, “With lemon. And yes, I know I’m reinforcing a stereotype with both orders.”

With a smile Vincent left them alone again. Henry waited until he was sure the other man was far enough away.

“Is Gideon with you?” Henry asked, seeing the same shocked expression Rip had worn several times since they’d met up.

“Ah, not at the moment.”

He grimaced, “Well, let me know when she does appear. I have something I want her to advise on.”

“Wait,” Rip rubbed his temple, “You need to tell me what’s going on because I am very confused.”

Henry chuckled, “About six years ago for me, and some indeterminate time in your future, I was working at Nasa and a bright light filled the lab I was working in. When it faded, you were there. It was three in the morning, so I did think I was hallucinating, but you knew who I was and told me we would meet again in Eureka.”

Rip frowned but remained silent.

“The thing was I had literally just received the offer to come here that morning,” Henry explained.

“And that is why you trusted me?” Rip asked.

Henry shook his head, “I trusted you because you told me something specific that I told you to tell me.”

Before Rip could ask Vincent reappeared with their meals.

“For Henry, the chicken and mushroom linguini,” Vincent slid the plate in front of him before turning to Rip, “And for you, beer battered cod with twice cooked chips, freshly shelled garden peas, blanched with a small knob of butter.”

“Wow,” Rip said surprised, “That sounds…fantastic.”

“And since I had some batter left,” Vincent placed a small bowl on the table, “I made you onion rings as well.”

Rip nodded at the chef, “Thank you.”

“Enjoy,” Vincent bustled away.

Henry smiled, “We can talk more once we’ve eaten. I’m guessing it’s been a while since you’ve had something.”

Gratefully Rip turned to the plate in front of him and began to eat.

                                 *********************************************

 Alison Blake knew today had been too quiet as she marched through the corridors of GD Section 5 to Lab 53 where Nathan was standing waiting for her.

“What’s wrong?” she demanded.

Nathan grimaced, “Not sure if wrong is the word for it.”

“Nathan, you called me down here urgently,” Alison reminded him testily, “Why, Dr Stark?”

He grimaced at the use of his title instead of his name before opening the door to the lab. He stepped out the way so she could see in, “To show you this.”

Alison looked in and gaped seeing a strangely shaped object stuck in the centre of the floor, a soft golden glow emanating from it.

“What is that?” she breathed.

Nathan sighed, “I’ve no idea but the energy it’s giving off is immense.”

“And considering the last time we encountered an unknown object giving off a massive amount of energy,” Alison grimaced.

“Then this could be trouble.”

[kyluxtrashpit]

2019 Fic Recap

So I’ve done this for the past few years and I started doing it at the end of 2019 but never managed to finish it. I think between TROS and IRL and then I got really, really sick, I just haven’t had the chance to do so. But fuck it, I decided to finish it anyway even though it’s now 3 months late lmao. So anyway, a recap of my 2019 fics

Total wordcount: 96 419 words. Which is less than last year, but still not too shabby. I wish I could’ve banged something out to get it over 100k but eh, it just didn’t happen. I definitely have enough wip words and whatnot to get me over that bump, though

Tough Love, 6572 words, posted Jan 17

So this was an experimental one. As you all know, I’m pretty hard on the sub!Kylo/dom!Hux train. But I had a conversation with a friend and it turned into one of those ‘okay, I don’t like x dynamic because of a, b, and c. But is it possible to write x without those and make it into something I like?’ and as it turns out, yes, yes it was. Thus this fic happened and here we are. I still really like it and I have a lot of Feelings on this dynamic vs the one I usually write, but that’s an essay in and of itself lmao. It got some great feedback too, which was cool

Take My Breath Away, 1230 words, posted Feb 7

Ah yes, this one, which was based off a throwaway KOTOR ability but was an excuse for me to write Kylo getting stuffed from both ends with some asphyxiation thrown in. And also extremely rough sex + softer aftercare is a weakness of mine haha, so I just had to do it

Fix You, 1994 words, posted Feb 10

So this was my first piece for Bad Things Happen Bingo, which is an event I’m still planning to finish at some point lmao, and that I’ve had a lot of fun with so far. This fic was another that I tried for a more ‘classic’ feel with, though it’s a lot softer. The uncomfortable intimacy. The ‘feelings are happening but we won’t talk about them’. The shaky trust. All of that good stuff. I had fun with it

Keep Your Enemies Closer, 1657 words, posted Feb 24

Another for BTHB! I just love when Hux wins, okay. And I think this was one of those time periods where Kylo was doing all the winning in fics and I just. Needed something different lmao. Emperor Hux remains one my all time fave ideas and it’s still a shame canon never gave it to us. But I have the power to make it happen, so I did. Plus Kylo in a shock collar is always fun >:)

Indulgence, 17 357 works, completed Apr 19, first posted Mar 28

So! This was a continuation to my experiment from above and really it was just an excuse for lots of smut and pampering lmao. Much as I had thought I had said everything I wanted to say with Tough Love, apparently I had not, and this monstrosity formed. There may be a third, more serious piece to finish off the series this year, but I haven’t decided yet. Although, I have to admit, I’m still surprised how poorly this fic did feedback-wise, especially compared to its predecessor and considering it’s the more popular dynamic these days. Tbh some of my best smut is in this fic imo, but ah well, sometimes people just don’t like things and I suppose I have to accept that, even if I’m really, really proud of that thing

(Okay and the rest are behind a cut for length)

Best Served Bloody, 2666 words, posted Apr 29

Another BTHB and, again, not much deeper to it. Beating up Brendol is always fun though lmao. And when I was writing this, I really wanted Hux to be the one to strike at his father. A lot of pieces have Kylo doing it, which is great, but I wanted to do something a little different. I wanted Hux to have the power to save himself. It was fun to write in that way, as a powerful revenge fantasy

The Best, 6450 words, posted May 12

Ah, now this was a fun one lmao. It was born of a horny crack idea but I can’t do real crack, so it ended up as crack treated seriously. And really, I just wanted an excuse to have Kylo sucking dick. A lot of dick. All the dicks he can find lmao. Slutty Kylo fic remains my favourite pwp, so I gotta contribute to the cause, you know. It was a delight to write, though challenging cause it kept turning me on LMAO. Totally worth it though. It was one of the most fun this year for sure

Be My Outlet, 1003 words, posted May 23

There’s not really much of a story behind this one haha. I was horny and I wanted some classic, Not Nice Hux and hatefucking, thus this exists. Plus I miss Kylo getting choked and it’s rare these days to see stuff quite this rough. I also have a bit of a somnophilia thing, which this sort of fits in to. And I’m always a fan of messy, masochist Kylo. So yeah. Idk it’s smut lmao what else could we want? It’s just a short little pwp, but I had a lot of fun with it and it was nice to revisit the classic kylux days

Safe Harbour, 1616 words, posted Jun 13

This one was for kyluxomegaverse week and it was very fun. A/b/o is one of those tropes where I really, really like a lot of it, but there’s also some stuff that’s much less my cup of tea. So I don’t write a lot of it, even though there are aspects of it that I adore. Which this one includes a lot of lmao. I think the nesting is fucking adorable and I wanted to write something soft, so here we are. Plus omega!Kylo is just delightful. Also looking back on it now, this one did really well? Holy shit, I had no idea it was that popular!

With Dignity, 4475 words, posted Jul 1

This was the last for BTHB that I managed last year (and I still intend to finish my card eventually, it’s just been a rough go so far this year lmao). I’m actually very proud of this one because this is the exact sort of angst I love to write. I didn’t intend for it to be as heavy as it ended up being, but when I started looking up the mechanics of force-feeding and reading about the experience of it, the plan changed drastically because holy fuck. I had never thought of it as that much of a torture before. I also enjoy with Hux like, making the reader feel bad for him while also actively reminding them he’s awful and getting that perfect cognitive dissonance. So this was a great excuse to do exactly that. And I love how tough he is even in such circumstances. Despite the heavy subject matter, I had a blast with this one

Greener Grass, 3389 words, posted Jul 14

This one was originally a twitter thread that really got away from me lmao, so I edited it and put it on ao3 because I really liked it. I’ve always liked self-cest as a concept and I thought it’d be interesting for Kylo to interact with a version of himself that made some different choices. One that was happier. And then we see Kylo through Ben’s eyes, see what the dark side has wrought for him. And then, of course, some smut to pull it all together lmao. It was a really fun character study and I had a grand time with it

Subliminal, 5719 words, posted Aug 23

This one! Okay so I’m pretty sure I sent in a couple of khk prompts over the years that were basically this, but no one ever wrote them so I finally did it. I’m honestly surprised hypno kink isn’t actually used more in kylux, considering Hux is canonically in charge of the brainwashing program. So much potential. So I had to write it. I also went down quite a few rabbit holes in researching this (with mixed success lmao) and learned a whole lot about hypno kink in the process. I may have even acquired it as a fetish lmao. But anyway, this one’s a bit darker and it’s fun to write those every once in a while. I think I pulled it off well too

Ashes Among the Stars, 36634 words, posted Dec 1

Ah and my big bang this year! I had a blast with this one although it was quite the challenge. My first fandom was gundam so when I saw this prompt I was very intrigued and ended up getting it. This fic had a lot more world-building than I usually do, which was the primary challenge as I basically had to take aspects from both franchises and sew them together into a new world of its own. I think I did that rather successfully tbh. The plot gave me trouble too but also gave me some of my best eureka moments haha. My partner was also wonderful and made the experience that much better. I know crossovers don’t tend to perform as well, so I was expecting that, though I do wish some more people had given it a chance since I wrote it specifically so that no prior knowledge was needed. But alas, I’m still incredibly proud of it. It’s also my second longest fic ever!

Filthy, 5657 words, posted Dec 9

And here it is, the gangbang fic I’ve always wanted to exist lmao. I had wanted to write this one for a long time, but I could never figure out how to end it, what circumstances would lead to the gangbang. Then a convo with friends gave me the idea and boom, I could finally write it. This fic is just straight up smut and I fucking love it lmao. There needs to be more Kylo gangbang fics tbh

What have I learned?

Last year wasn’t as successful for writing as I’d hoped, given that I wrote less in 2019 than I did in 2018. But also a lot of things happened to me last year. I got a new role at work. My dad had a heart attack (he’s okay though). I had a pretty rough time with my mental health. And then there was the lead up to TROS and the frankly unnecessary amount of stress that caused me. So there was a lot going on and working against me, which is a large part of why I didn’t manage to write as much as I’d hoped I would, and there’s a lot in my folder that I started but just wasn’t able to finish before the end of the year. I worried for a while I was losing interest, but looking back, no, it was definitely the IRL shit lmao. That said, I’m also extremely happy with all of the pieces I did finish, regardless of how well they did. I’m proud of them and I loved writing them, even when it was difficult

One of my goals from last year was to write more, which I didn’t manage, and to get better at answering comments, which I think I did well on for the most part up until post-TROS lmao. I also wanted to do the big bang again (and I was hoping for a reverse, which it was!) and I did. And I also wanted to have fun and keep my confidence with my writing, which I think I was the most successful at. I feel really good about everything I made and I really enjoyed writing them, even if I didn’t manage to finish everything

Goals for 2020?

I think part of the reason I didn’t finish this post in 2019 is because of my TROS breakdown and subsequent stresses associated with it. Because I wasn’t sure what I wanted or what I was going to do. Sometimes I wanted to give up and find a new fandom/ship, other times I was sure I was over it and going to just do whatever the fuck I wanted, and then there was every emotion in between

Now, though, I’m sure I’m going to keep writing here. I haven’t managed much this year yet, but I can feel it coming back to me. I have a post-TROS fic I managed to solve a major problem with the other day. I also have renben as a new ship to excite me. And I still have a lot of wips and BTHB and various others I desperately want to do. Right now, I feel good about my writing and my interest in it is back to normal, which is great. So this year? I’m not going to set a hard goal. I’d love to write more than last year and maybe I will, but it’s okay if I don’t. I’d love to do another big bang this year, but I’m not going to kick myself if I can’t handle it when that time comes. I’d love to finish BTHB, but if it stretches into another year, who cares? My only goal is to just keep writing and keep enjoying it. I want to have fun with it. I want to be happy with whatever pieces I do manage to put out. I want to set aside time to read more fics from others, if I can. And I think all of those will really help with my mental health, which is starting to recover right now, and that’s what’s most important of all

Also thank you all for your patience with me. I know I’ve not been responsive, here or on twitter or to comments, but I am trying my best. It’s been a rough go and I don’t like to whine too much in my fandom spaces. I don’t know when or even if I’ll get back to normal, but I’m trying, and that’s what matters. I love every one of you on here <3