#anyway. i love my ugly dog son

[collaboratiiveanarchy]

"Woah! Did you see that dog?!" The pro hero LOVES big dogs, it's a shame he was never allowed to have one of his own.

[maneskinwh0re]

“one more word.” ~ butch!wolverine x ladypool!reader this is just a wlw honda odyssey scene bc i need butch wolverine to be real. i also aimed to write them in character! give feedback babes plsssss

cw: outdated cultural references, fourth wall breaking, nsfw, blood, f!ngering, strap!sex, idk just lotta gay shit xx

wc: 4.3k...👁️👁️

"get. in the fucking. car."

"it'll get you there safe and sound!" nicepool reassures with a loving pat to the top of the grey honda odyssey. "lil betsy always does." his eyes then fall to dogpool, who is held tightly in your arms. "you're gonna have to give me my dog back, though..."

"i know," you reply matter-of-factly. "listen-" you start before mary puppins places a paw on your hand. "yes, child... if you ever want to give her up or if she needs a new home, or if something should happen to you, i'd love to be her mama."

nicepool only wheezes at your remark. "what would ever happen to me?"

"lots of stuff," you reply with a shrug, smiling innocently under your red mask.

as soon as he realizes your seriousness, his smile fades and looks to the older woman standing to his right in an ask for help. the wolverine lets out a huff as she pushes herself off the honda and moves to grab the dog from your grasp.

"n-no! we're running away- agh- the corn was too dense, girl!" you say in apologies to mary puppins and watch sadly as laura hands the you-variant over to the other, nicer-you-variant.

you begrudgingly get in the passenger seat of the shitty car, waving goodbye to dogpool. the obnoxious sound of you singing "we'll meet again" is muffled by the car windows as laura drives you both away.

time passes. maybe 15 minutes, maybe an hour. doesn't matter, reader— don't worry about it. you haven’t been paying attention to the time because you’ve been sneaking quick gazes at the wolverine in the driver’s seat to your left. the way her brown hair curls up on either sides of her head looks so cute. yet the way her large, gloved hands grip the steering wheel causes your mind to wander other places. all you know now is there’s been a lingering thought poking at your brain since you picked this wolverine up from that bar in her universe.

"okay i'm just gonna ask. what's with the suit? first thing i did when i flamed out: i took mine off."

"drop it." laura mutters.

"it's not that ugly..."

"stop talkin about my suit."

"did you make it yourself? been there!"

"quit. now." the tension in her voice is rising.

"the x-men make you wear it? those sons of fuckin bitches. they are not your friends, i'll tell ya that. friends don't let friends leave the house looking like they fight crime for the los angeles rams-"

"shut the fuck up about the suit," she snaps.

"woahwoahwoah watch your frown lines, angel baby." you back off, lifting your hands in a motion of surrender. "i'm just trying to bond a little bit-"

"yeah? well then talk about something else."

"fine!"

there's an uncomfortable silence between you two, only for a moment before you play around, making spiderman web motions with your gloved hands. you just can’t help but annoy the woman next to you, it’s too much fun. it’s like your duty as passenger princess.

"stop it," she snaps again soon enough.

"why? don't wanna get distracted seeing my fingers in this motion?" you tease, moving your middle and ring finger back and forth. laura only scoffs at the sexual innuendo. "ahh, the natural hand position of the sapphics." you turn to look out the car window and make eye contact with the reader. "is that why so many masc lesbians are obsessed with spiderman? i guess only earth-616 knows the correlation..."

and wait- if i'm supposedly you, the reader, but as ladypool-- then how am i breaking the fourth wall? gasp! a fourth wall break inside a fourth wall break... that's like- sixteen walls... am i talking to myself? or talking to myself? whatever. anyway i know why you're here, you slut. let's make conversation by pushing wolvie's buttons some more, yeah?

"if they could fix your world, what's the first thing you're gonna do when you get outta here? some rubbing alcohol shots? maybe a wiper fluid chaser?"

laura's gaze slowly turns to you. "what did you say?"

"i said when you get back, what's the first thing you're gonna do-"

"no no, before that."

"if-" you catch yourself. shit. "-they can fix your world?"

with an aggressive slam on the break, your seatbelt doesn't even have time to prevent your head from colliding with the dashboard. and as the car stops, you know there's nothing that can save you from the rage behind wolverine's tone.

"what do you mean if?" she asks through gritted teeth, body fully turned to face you.

"i mean-"

"you lied to me. you don't have a fucking clue if they could help me fix things. do you?"

"no, but i mean-" you start to defend yourself before three metal claws impale your thigh, and probably extend under you all the way through to your seat. "agh- fuck! fuck! i didn't lie!"

"you lied!"

"no! i made an educated wish!"

laura only tilts her head at your defense, eyebrows furrowing.

"because i need you," you continue as you unfold the photo that was in your pocket and hold it up for her to see. "this is why. right here. cause if we don't do something, they die. i don't know anything about saving worlds, and why would i even care? cause my entire world is right here in this picture. it's only nine people, and i have no idea how to save it alone. i know how to fuck people up for money but you- YOU know how to save them... at least the other wolverine did-" at that last comment, laura twists her claws in your thigh, striking enough pain for more curses to escape your mouth. "f-fuck! ah- i guess i'm stuck with the worst one-"

"did you just say you made an educated... fucking wish?"

"they call me the merc with the mouth. they don't call me truthful timmy the blowjob queen of sass catoo-"

the three metal blades are quickly removed from your thigh only to be brought up next to your face. laura's shaky breath exercises seem to be the only thing keeping her from slicing you apart.

"one more word... please, give me one." her guttural voice is a low warning. you wait a moment as if thinking to a random word generator in your brain.

"~gubernatorial~" you say simply before cowaring behind flailing arms when laura prepares to stab you in the face, only fake you out. her breaths are deeper, more steady as if she's trying to calm herself.

"you know what? you're a fucking joke... no wonder the avengers didn't take you, or the x-men or fuckin anyone. i mean you are a ridiculous, immature, half-wit moron. i have never met a sadder, more attention-starved, jabbering, little prick in my entire life. and that says a lot 'cause i've been alive for over two hundred fucking years." the volume in her voice begins to rise with each word, striking your emotions further and further as you sit there speechless, yet her anger keeps rising. "and i'll tell ya- that villain chick was right about one thing: you will NEVER save the world. you couldn't even save a relationship with a goddamn stripper! and motherfucker i wish i could say you'd die alone, but it's one of GOD'S best jokes that you can't die! except that's all on all of US!"

she hits nerve after nerve. the pain in your chest hurts too fucking bad. you are not only speechless, you never want to speak again. you have millions of words to say yet none at all.

how fucking dare she bring up vanessa like that? who does laura think she is? no fucking hero, that's for goddamn sure.

"you got nothing to say, mouth?" she asks, almost out of breath from yelling accusations.

all you can manage to say is one sentence. and she doesn’t even fucking deserve the warning too. "i'm gonna fight you now."

wolverine only snorts, a pitiful laugh towards your remark. "oh, are you?"

you take note how a quick punch to her nose shuts her right up, and watch in satisfaction how blood trickles out her nostril down to her upper lip. your small victory is cut short by her fist colliding to the same spot on your own nose. she pushes you to the window and grabs the back of your mask, then slams your face down onto the center head unit multiple times. different radio stations flick back and forth as you make contact with the buttons and nozzles, eventually landing on a song from the original 'grease' soundtrack.

♡ last gore x nsfw warning !! :3 ♡

you lift your hand to grab one of your swords but another punch to the cheek causes your vision to cloud. by the time you come to your senses, laura has buckled your seatbelt and is digging her left claw into your stomach, twisting her hand slowly.

“not talkin’ now, are ya?” she growls before withdrawing her claws and moving to stab you again. pulling the lever on the side of your car seat, you fall backwards to quickly dodge her blow. you kick your foot against her shoulder to keep her back, and then tightly wrap your legs around her head. another three blades enter your side in a sudden motion, causing you to release your chokehold.

“agh! you dirty bitch!” you shout before kicking her out the front windshield of the honda. you laugh and point as she rolls and tumbles through the leaves and dirt. as soon as she gets up, you unsheathe your swords while she sprints back to you. she’s a fucking animal—ramming herself into the front of the car, causing the airbag to go off on your stomach and send you flying back into the reclined seat.

laura jumps through the broken windshield and lands claws first on top of your already bloodied body. slash after slash, you both further each others’ injuries until you flip laura over and pin her down to the seat. there is surprise in her eyes with a hint of something else that you can’t quite pinpoint. trying to catch your breath, she only looks up at you with a ratted smile, as if amused to see you attempting to kill her. blood stains her face and fanged teeth, and her short hair is tangled and damp with sweat. fuck—it’s a sight. with your elbow against her chest, you’re still close enough to smell her alcohol-tainted breath.

“need a mint, you preening slut?” you ask before you are flying through the sunroof of the honda and falling to the ground outside the car. after kicking yourself up, your little wolvie gestures for you to come back with a simple hand wave behind the window. who are you to keep her waiting? throwing the swords over your shoulders, you take out your baby knives before running back to the car and jumping through the window.

broken glass and blood is everywhere, but neither of you care. you’re both having too much fun trying to murder the other as you take turns regenerating. it’s a pointless waste of time and energy. a total meaningless circle of fighting and healing.

you pin laura through the broken windshield and onto the front hood of the car, stabbing her shoulder and arms repeatedly with a knife. the sleeves of her suit eventually fall apart, fabric scattering and leaving her muscular arms to your gaze. so clearly you’re distracted. she grabs your wrist behind her and heaves your arm over her head to hold you in her place for a moment to catch her breath.

she then drags you by the belt from across the car and holds you down with her body in the back seat. her claws sink through the red fabric and into your sides. again. and again. the repetitive motions of the sharp metal soon causes a big tear in the fabric of your suit, exposing the skin under your breast. it seems as if neither of you notice at first, continuously fighting until another stretch from her pinning your arms above your head causes a terrible ripping sound. you both stop and look down, unsure on who has the decency to yield the fight first.

wolverine pauses for a moment, hovering over your bare tit before suddenly attacking your nipple with her mouth. there is nothing gentle about it, and you can’t tell if her actions are still a way of fighting with the harsh ways her sharp teeth nip and bite.

you lay there for a moment in shock, chest heaving up and down in short spurts as you try to breathe. your hands drop the knives to the car floor behind you, yet your wrists are still trapped in the wolverine’s grip. before you can think to stop it, a breathy whimper escapes your lips. the sound pricks laura to come to her senses and looks up at you with a flushed expression.

fucking hell. if you weren’t okay with what’s happening, you would’ve said something by now. even laura knows that—considering how fucking chatty you are.

“were ya hungry, peanut? needed a mid-fight snack?” you tease, tilting your head with a raised brow.

“i didn’t say i was finished.” she smirks before lowering her head to your chest again. her tongue circles and flicks at your nipple, treating it oh so lovingly before biting and pulling at it so fucking roughly. you chew on your bottom lip to muffle your own moans—all because you’re too stubborn to let her know how fucking good it feels.

she’s holding herself back, yet you kick her chest and propel her weight backwards onto the head unit, while the momentum pushes you the opposite direction into the third row of seats. as she falls, the grease song playing from the radio is muted, leaving you two to a short-lived silence.

"i was wrong—the honda odyssey fucks hard,” you say, rolling your head back and cracking your neck in the process. looking back to laura, you usher her to you with a teasing two-finger motion. “too bad you don't, needle dick.”

“oh, we’re just getting started, bub,” she replies, eyeing your manspread position before lunging to you again.

calling her an animal is to say the fucking least. but you’re no better. she rips and tears your suit, not giving a single fuck in the world that you may need to keep it in tact for later in the plot line. she pulls the tough fabric apart, exposing your tits to her lingering eyes. it’s like a switch is flipped. all of a sudden she can’t get enough, wanting- needing to see more of you. for a moment, you just let her. your belt is removed followed by your pants all while you just lay back and watch her do the work. soon you’re only in your black underwear, smirking under your red and black mask at how fucking needy she looks. her callused hands grip your waist, easily pulling you up to her as her mouth finds your other nipple.

“you’re not you when your hungry. and clearly, you always seem incredibly hungry, wolvie.”

“shuh du phvck uh.” is what you make of her boob-drunk gibberish and assume she’s simply cussing you out.

“huh? couldn’t quite catch that. y’ know you really shouldn’t talk with your mouth full-”

a large, gloved hand muffles your masked mouth before her lips release your tit with a pop.

“off,” she says. you furrow your eyebrows in confusion and she must be able to tell by your silence, causing her to elaborate quickly while her free hand lingers on the black lace of your underwear. “i don’t want a damn word out of your filthy mouth until you’ve taken these off. if you want me to fuck you, you’re gonna have to let me.”

fucking hell. panties are soaking wet right now.

you slowly nod your head in her restrictive grip, and lift your hips to remove the damp fabric from your body. damp from blood or sweat or something else… who fucking knows and who fucking cares. you toss them to the side and immediately pull laura closer to you. her harsh kisses mark your neck and collarbone before she wets her middle finger with her tongue and starts to rub quick circles on your clit. you almost push her away, her starting speed too overstimulating at first, but you soon get used to it, bucking your hips in a physical ask to move faster.

“keep still, sweetheart. that’s it,” fuck even her praise is still low and demanding somehow. you wrap your hands around her hairy forearm, hissing curses as you feel yourself grow closer and closer to the edge.

“fuck- you know, i bet you’re a pretty good dj in some other univers- oh my god!” your silly quip is cut short by her pushing one finger into you. then another. and before you know it, you’re a blubbering mess as you soak her hand as well as the car seat beneath you. her mouth is against your masked ear, shushing your witticism. white rings of cum coat up to her knuckles while her thumb resumes a quick pace on your clit.

banter is over as quiet whimpers replace your usual chatterbox routine. her large fingers feel so much better than your own, and then that’s where she leaves you—fingers curling inside your cunt causing your brain to see stars. your orgasm hits you hard, but not as hard as she does—a rough slap to your face intensifies every sensation, leaving you pained like putty in her grasp as you come down from your high. “don’t got much to say now, huh?”

your eyes focus on her hair and how it twirls up on both sides—the classic hairstyle for any and all wolverine’s across the multiverse. “why do~you style~your hair like that?” your voice slurs with dizzy haze, and laura only looks down at your drunken state quizzically. “were ya going f’ wolf? ‘cause it makes ya look more like a cat. like my little meow meow~”

a growl creeps from the back of her throat before three claws find a home—digging into the flesh on your shoulder.

“shit! you angry ‘bout it, mama?” you ask teasingly before watching her slowly remove her belt. “no- not the belt! i won’t be a naughty girl, i swear!”

“don’t be dramatic,” she scoffs as she tosses the belt aside and straddles you again.

“that’s kinda my job. hashtag drama queen. hashtag full-time. ‘round the clock. just like how your full time job is hiding a fully comic accurate superhero suit under your clothes for when its use comes once every twenty fucking years.”

that switched something in her. she yanks your mask off your head and glares down into your eyes. then a smirk sneaks its way onto her lips. fuck. what does she know that you don’t?

“you think this suit is the only thing i keep under my clothes?” your jaw tenses when laura unzips her pants and allows her strap to spring out to your view. it has to be at least eight to nine inches, the color matches her skin tone and the base of it connects to the black harness buckled around her boxers.

“marvel jesus h. christ! where did you even get that thing? the prop table from the set of alien?!"

you half-expect an answer, but she only lifts your mask and forces a mouthful of the red fabric down your throat, leaving your fear-factored size question hanging in the air. “there… silence is nice. isn’t it?” you’ve lost your voice, but you don’t protest. your frustrated whimpers are muffled and shaky breaths escape through your nose as laura traces her dick up and down your wetted lips. “just relax, beautiful,” she whispers as she slips the tip into you. the tone of her voice is teasing, clearly loving how much power she so easily has over you. pushing in deeper, her pace stays agonizingly slow, as if she’s having to think about controlling every thrust. your eyes follow the grinding movements of her hips and your legs instinctively wrap around her waist. as laura starts to speed up, your backside rubs against the car seat. trying to find a sense of stability, your hands scatter up the butch’s clothed torso and eventually grip her broad shoulders. you can’t help but buck your hips again, no longer ashamed of how fucking needy you look doing so. one of her hands claw at the shoulder of the seat behind you while the other has a strong hold on your hip, guiding your body with hers. guiding soon turns to holding and holding soon turns to pinning. not only is she now chasing her high, but she will do whatever she needs to get to it.

“agh~ fuck. is this what you wanted? to be wrapped around me like this? you’re so pathetic, it’s adorable.”

when all you can do is moan in reply, laura knows she’s fucked you stupid, but still long ways away from being done with you. she suddenly stops altogether and pulls out of you, chuckling quietly when you groan due to your pleasure being delayed. she turns you over and props you up on your knees, then holds you down by the back of the neck with one hand and finds a firm grip on your ass with the other. her relentless thrusts continue, causing a repetitive sound of her hips slamming into the backs of your thighs. every time she pulls back, you follow her dick—leaning to her to chase that friction.

she hits nerve after nerve. the pain hurts too fucking good. your words are still muffled against your ladypool mask, the fabric now damp with saliva and drool. maybe tears as well.

“speak up, princess. ‘s hard to hear you,” laura instructs as she removes the piece from your mouth.

“i… i’m… gonna-” you start before trailing off, finding it hard to focus on words as laura speeds up her pace.

“what, pretty thing? y’ gonna cum?”

“tha-that’s what she said!” of course. of-fucking-course those are the words you can get to leave your stuttering mouth.

“god—do you ever shut the fuck up?” laura groans before tossing your mask to the side and holding your hips steady. when she notices your silence, she leans forward, a hand massaging your tit and her teeth taking a harsh bite at your earlobe. “or maybe you just need to be fucked speechless, don’t you?”

yes. a million times yes.

quiet whimpers leave your lips, the smell of cigars and alcohol mixed with the stench of blood and sex is almost overwhelming. laura slows her pace again, taking her sweet time watching, playing, torturing you for pleasure. that sadistic fuck.

“i do love these cute little noises you’re making, yeh? tell me how good it feels. i know it feels good but i wanna hear you say it—come on. spit it out,” she says into your ear. her lips have gone dry from breathing heavily and sweat trickles down her forehead and nose. the torn fabric of her yellow and navy blue suit rug-burns against your skin from all the excessive movement, but you don’t care. laura pulls your arms behind your back before yanking a seat belt out of its buckles to wrap tightly around your wrists. the rough material hurts, but it’s a good-hurt. when you only let out a porn-styled moan (half-exaggerating to poke fun at her), the wolverine behind you reaches under your neck and grabs your jaw. “you’ not gonna use that mouth?”

“fuck- okay! yes, it feels good. you feel so fucking good. just- please, let me- let me cum!”

and your begs get so easily rewarded. laura must have a soft spot for you because her thrusts speed up again, and this time hit hard with no intention of stopping.

what has little wolvie turned you into, hm? you, ladypool, a beggar? breaking out of character many would argue, but maybe that’s her goal: finding what breaks you.

“not yet. shit- wait ‘til i say.”

the hilt of her strap hits her clit just right as she continues to drive herself into your pretty cunt. as minutes pass and breaths quicken, her metal claws unsheathe and dig themselves into the seat beneath you two. she’s close.

with clamped hands still tied behind your back, you sense that knot in your stomach growing. guttural sounds from the back of the throat slip from laura’s lips, filling your ears as she hits your g-spot again and again, pushing you so quickly towards your release for the second time.

“right there! plea- please, please! i’m… gonna-”

“go on, sweetheart. fucking cum~”

at her words, her command—you feel yourself tighten around her. and your moans must’ve been what did it for her because immediately after—husky groans are heard from behind your bare, trembling body. the heavy weight of a wolverine falls against you, breathing hard onto your skin as her sweat-coated face buries itself into the nape of your neck. a trail of little bite marks, enhanced by her small fangs, are left scattered across your shoulders and upper back.

her middle finger finds your clit again to draw little circles, bringing out pitiful whimpers and post-sex muscle spasms from your worn out body.

“ca- canada…”

your contorted face and senselessness brings her to hum—which is her version of a laugh in this dizzy state. she broke you. and it didn’t take very much, did it?

she turns your chin to look up at her, her face reflecting that drunken haze with the ghost of a smile across her lips. her focus falls to your parted mouth for a moment before finally connecting her lips with yours. the kiss is softer than you expect, as if her hunger’s satisfied, yet the warm taste of cigars and alcohol linger.

“y’ did good, sweetheart.”

just good? must she always be so condescending?

♡ ♡ ♡ ♡ ♡ ♡ ♡ ♡ ♡ ♡ ♡ ♡ ♡ ♡ ♡ ♡ ♡ ♡ ♡ ♡

spent way too long on this lol comment/repost if you like it, loves !!

this is so gonna flop but idc i wrote it for me and bookie 👩‍❤️‍💋‍👩

taglist: @pr1ncessjo <3

[honeyjars-sims]

Drag Superstar Episode 5: The Finale

Diamond: Hello and welcome to the finale of Drag Superstar! Tonight we will be catching up with all of the contestants and finding out who will be crowned this season's Ultimate Drag Superstar!

As always, I'm joined by my fantastic panel of judges. Please welcome Diego Lobo, Penny Pizzazz, and Izzy Fabulous! Judges, who do you think will be taking home the crown tonight?

Diego: For me, it has to be Lady Astrid! The artistry she's brought is unmatched!

Penny: I love Lady Astrid, but I haven't been able to get Vapore LaWave out of mind mind since the acting challenge!

Izzy: I'm rooting for Velvet Envy. She's serving up glamour on a silver platter, and I'm eating it up!

Diamond: Thank you, judges! Before we crown our winner, let's see what life has been like for our queens since the season started. First up, it's Kylee Kouture. Kylee, your time on the show was short, but you've had social media buzzing.

Kylee: Yes, the internet can't get enough of my looks--and okay, maybe I've been running my mouth a bit, too!

Diamond: I heard that you and Jacqueline had some beef on Social Bunny. Can you tell me about that?

Kylee: Well, apparently some old, bitter queens can't handle us younger girls getting attention.

Jacqueline: I'll tell you exactly what happened, Diamond. All I've heard from the clubs I've been performing in is how Kylee is always late, she's being a diva, she's cancelling gigs...so yes, I had some words with her on SB about how you have to earn your dues in this business.

Kylee: Yeah, whatever. Jealousy is an ugly trait. Anyway, my follower count shows who the public really loves.

Jacqueline: The followers you bought?

[The other queens laugh]

Diamond: Ok, let's move on. Darla, how has life been for you after the show?

Darla: It's been great, Diamond! Despite our conflicts in the girl group challenge, I've gotten close to Vixen and Vapore. And I'm releasing a single!

Diamond: A single???

Darla: Yes, I took some voice lessons and I've really improved!

Jacqueline: I've heard they're doing amazing things with autotune these days!

Darla: [laughing] Okay, I'll admit there was a lot of autotuning, but it's a fun track!

Diamond: I can't wait to hear it! Vixen, how is your ankle?

Vixen: It's doing fine! I had some physical therapy and it's healed well. I'm happy that it hasn't impacted my burlesque act!

Diamond: I'm so happy to hear that! And I want to let you know that you're welcome to rejoin us next season to have another shot at competing!

[The queens applaud]

Vixen: Thank you so much! No more injuries, I promise!

Diamond: I'm going to hold you to that! Valerie, when you left the show, you were dealing with some difficulties at home. How are things going now?

Valerie/David: Well, Diamond, everything has been wonderful! My son was going through a rough time, but he really turned it around. I'm really proud of him! I'm proud of all of my children. My oldest daughter is getting married and touring with her band, and my younger daughter is starting a business.

Diamond: That's fantastic! It seems like you didn't have anything to worry about after all.

Valerie/David: That's right. It's a relief knowing that I've set my kids up with a good foundation. Even when times get tough, they know how to pull through. I've learned I can't control everything, but I also don't need to.

*I forgot to take a solo pic of Jacqueline, oops

Diamond: What a wonderful lesson to learn! Thank you Valerie. Now it's time to catch up with our finalists, starting with Jacqueline Galloway. Has your life changed since the show?

Jacqueline: Well, you've already heard about my conflicts, but there have been a lot of positives as well. I've been booked and busy. It turns out you can teach an old dog new tricks!

Diamond: Tell me about it! Any more social media fights in your future?

Jacqueline: I'm going to try to let my career do the talking from now on.

Diamond: Wise decision. Lady Astrid, how has the show impacted your life?

Lady Astrid: In the best ways, Diamond! I have more time and money to work on new looks and it's really pushed me as an artist. Plus, I've had a lot of trans youth tell me I've inspired them to express themselves freely.

Diamond: That must make you feel good!

Lady Astrid: It really does. It shows how important visibility is to our community.

Diamond: Absolutely! Thank you, Lady Astrid. Next up, Vapore LaWave. How has life after the show surprised you?

Vapore: Well, going into this competition, I never thought of myself as being a funny person. But everyone really loved my campy performance in the acting challenge!

Diamond: You were hysterical!

Vapore: Thank you! Since the show, I've been taking acting lessons. I'm always up for expanding my skill set!

Diamond: That's great! Best of luck to you! And last but not least, it's Velvet Envy! Velvet, how do you feel about your performance on the show?

Velvet: I'm feeling very proud! I didn't know what to expect going in, but I'm happy that I not only won a challenge, but I've made it all the way to the finale.

Diamond: It's well deserved!

Velvet: Thank you! I never thought I would come this far when I started doing drag on a whim years ago!

Diamond: And look at you now! Thank you to all of my queens for making this a season to remember.

Diamond: And now it's the moment you've all been waiting for. I've taking the opinions of the judges and the viewers into consideration, but ultimately this was my decision to make. The winner of this season of Drag Superstar, our Ultimate Drag Superstar, is...

[dramatic pause]

Diamond: Lady Astrid!!!

[confetti falls from the ceiling as everyone applauds]

Condragulations, Lady Astrid! Do you have any words to share?

Lady Astrid: This is for anyone who's ever been told that they can't be who they are. Let our voices of love drown out the hate!

Thank you to @sirianasims for sharing Lady Astrid and Velvet Envy with me, and @invisiblequeen for Vapore LaWave! I enjoyed having them in this project!

Previous | Beginning of story | Beginning of chapter | Next

[steviesbicrisis]

Seeing a lot of Step dads being asked to adopt officially their step kids today on Tiktok and it made me think of Eddie doing something like that with Wayne.

We don’t know if Wayne officially adopted him, maybe he’s just in temporary care and now Eddie is old enough to not need an adult to look after him but when anyone asks him about his parents he always talks about Wayne so he might as well make it official, right?

Steve helps him prepare the papers in time for Christmas and he even asks Jonathan for his camera so he can capture the moment.

Despite being sure, Eddie feels a little nervous. He knows that Wayne loves him like a son, but he also knows that taking care of him wasn’t something he chose, more like the right thing to do when your brother is a fuckup and goes to prison leaving his kid to fend for himself.

Steve cheers him up by threatening him that if he doesn’t ask Wayne to adopt him, he will. Somehow that’s the weirdest and sweetest threat Eddie has ever received.

Eddie gives the papers to Wayne on Christmas, carefully folded inside a box, under a very ugly mug he knows Wayne will love in case the adoption papers aren’t well received.

Wayne opens the box and huffs looking at the dog-shaped mug “you’ve outdone yourself son, might be my new favorite one”.

He notices the way Eddie flinches at the word “son” but he shrugs it off and turns to Steve, gesturing at the camera in his hands “is this all? Wanted to take a picture of this ugly ass mug?”

Steve tries to use a neutral tone, but it comes out fond nonetheless “I think there’s something else”.

Wayne frowns, turns to Eddie who’s bouncing on his place “look at the bottom of the box” Eddie points at it.

He picks the piece of paper, unfolds it and, after giving a suspicious look to the both of them, he reads quietly.

If they didn’t know Wayne, they probably wouldn’t have noticed his eyes getting a little watery and his hands lightly trembling.

Eddie and Steve exchange a knowing look and a big smile, Steve takes it as his cue to snap the first picture.

The second depicts Eddie putting his hand on Wayne’s shoulder and his uncle -or better, his dad- looking up to hold back the tears.

The third one, everyone’s favorite, has Wayne enveloping Eddie in a bone-crushing hug and Eddie’s surprised face.

A while later, when everyone has calmed down and Wayne has signed everything he needed to, he asks “so, what about Steve?”

The boys give him a surprised look “what about me?” Steve wonders.

“Either you two get married or I adopt you too” he says simply, sipping his coffee from his new favorite dog mug.

Both Eddie and Steve get red and ramble about how it is way too soon and that gay marriage being illegal anyways.

“Im just saying, son” Wayne dwells a second on the word, as it has taken a new meaning for him “that Steve is part of the family too, and if you don’t make it official then I will.”

Eddie doesn’t give Steve any time to react “No fucking way, man” he jumps out of his seat and points at his boyfriend without looking at him “I’m asking him as soon as marriages are legal!”

“We’ll see” replies Wayne, just to rile him up, which works perfectly.

“Are you challenging me?” He turns to Steve, scandalized “don’t you dare become my step brother Steve!”

Steve winces just at the thought of it “of course-“

“How do you expect Steve to say yes to marring you if you’re this controlling?” Wayne interrupts him.

“Me?? I would be a great husband! The best!” Eddie replies, looking outraged.

Steve covers his face in his hands and mutters “oh my God” as Wayne keeps poking at Eddie and the latter takes every bait.

It takes Eddie approximately 45 minutes to realize he had been talking about being Steve’s husband in front of him the whole time despite never having that conversation between them first.

His embarrassed expression once he realizes is Wayne second’s favorite Christmas present that year.

[604to647]

The Wedding (Drabble)

Modern AU Retired Mob Enforcer!Din Djarin x fem!reader

A/N: What if I never finish the “main” fic and just write one-shots and drabbles in this AU (Series Masterlist)? What then? 🤷🏻‍♀️��� Anyways, in the AU, Din used to be an enforcer for the Fett Family (now he owns and runs a boxing gym where the mob guys hang/work out 🥊) Let’s go to a Mob wedding! 🙌🏻

Warnings: 18+ content (MDNI please), no smut (but promises of?), established relationship, no implied age gap, dirty talk and pet names (baby, pretty girl, pretty bird, reader calls Din "Daddy" once).

Word count: 860

It wasn’t every day that the niece of one Don married the son of another. 

Security teams from both families had been working tirelessly, and almost miraculously, together for the past few months to make sure the wedding went off without a hitch. Even top dogs like Din who were technically out of the game had been called in to consult and strategize, all so that both sides of the aisle could celebrate without the threat of any bad blood spilling.  To everyone’s happy surprise, the celebratory spirit had been infectious and all evening long, new and old bonds of camaraderie were made and cemented with good food and even better music.

With the happy couple having had their honeymoon send off and the evening almost over for most, it would be particularly brazen for someone to try something now.

And yet, there’s a disturbance that’s only getting louder emanating from the reception hall that the venue staff is trying to take down.  It’s probably nothing that can’t be handled quickly, but Din doesn’t want you to be near if things turned ugly.

“Pretty bird, I need you to let Jimmy take you home while I go take care of this.  Can you do that for me?”

You’re already wrapped in Din’s arms; it was a lovely wedding, but you’ve missed him.  Although he was a guest, he had also been working during the event and tended to his security responsibilities throughout the evening.  You wouldn’t have much minded the lack of dancing or him disappearing at random points during the reception if he didn’t look so fucking hot tonight.  With his arms still tight around your waist, you lean away to run your hands over the dark suit jacket that hugs his broad shoulders so snugly, feeling his muscular arms underneath you let out a deep sigh.  From the moment you had spotted him when you walked into the venue foyer earlier, he had taken your breath away.  You were stopped mid-stride by the sight of him filling out his perfectly tailored black suit, going over security plans with the Don’s men; when you saw him point to the floor plans, the silver rings he wore on his thick fingers came into view and you had immediately felt heat pooling between your legs.  You remember that he had looked up at that exact moment and caught you practically drooling; you're sure he’s been purposefully teasing you all evening ever since. 

It started during the ceremony and later the reception, Din had systematically inched his hand higher and higher up the thigh slit of your dress every time he was seated next to you.  While mingling during the stand-up cocktail hour, his hand had felt hot on the small of your back, occasionally dipping lower to palm your ass when he thought no one was looking.  That was to say nothing of all the low whispers in your ear throughout the night, ranging from sweet compliments to dirty ramblings that made you blush.  Dipping his lips just below your earlobe, Din’s trimmed facial hair would graze your jaw so lightly it made your skin prickle.

“Look so gorgeous tonight, pretty girl.  What a lucky guy I am, having you on my arm.”

“You shouldn’t be allowed to look so sexy in that dress, baby.  Gonna have to punish you for it later tonight.” 

“You’re driving me so fucking crazy, pretty bird.  My cock has been leaking for you all night.”

And of course, you had teased him right back.  Dragging your nails with feather light touches up and down the back of his neck and toying with the curls at the base of his neck whenever he sat down next to you.  Slipping your hands under the front of his suit jacket and raking your fingers possessively over his stomach, then discretely tucking your fingers into the waistband of his dress pants while making polite small talk with other guests during cocktail hour.  You would rest your head in the crook of his neck and coo back all sorts of compliments and longings of your own.

“Din, this suit makes you look like a brickhouse, fits you so perfectly.”

“Can’t wait to feel your weight on me, baby.  My panties are soaked just thinking about being underneath you.”

“I want to suck those rings right off your fingers, daddy.”

That last one had Din threatening to bend you over the dinner table and take you in front of all the other guests right then and there.

Din looks as pained as you feel about the prospect of delaying going home and fulfilling all the dirty promises you had exchanged over the course of the evening.  Running your fingers through his combed-back hair before cupping his face, you plant a chaste kiss on his lips and nod in assent to his request.  “Please be safe, baby.  Come home soon?  I’ll be waiting for you, Din.”  You look up at him, doe eyed and desperate.

Din pulls you in for a greedy goodbye kiss, and whispers low so only you can hear, “Keep that pretty dress on, sweetheart.  I want to be the one to take it off of you tonight.”

Part 2

[greyghoulclub]

There was a letter for Max on the table. It had been there for at least two months now. But she was too scared to open it, for may be written inside.

She stares at it from across the breakfast table while she was supposed to be eating breakfast before she got to school. With a shaking hand she picked it up and looked at the scratchy block handwriting on the envelope.

Maxine.

There was only one person apart from her mom who called her Maxine.

The letter was found in his room the day after he was skewered by the monster made of people. It was one of three. The other two addressed separately to his parents. She thought about the letters the gloomy day his coffin was lowered into the ground. It was in the middle of August but the sky had been overcast as if it was weeping for him too.

Her mom had sent the one addressed to his mother away the day after they were found. She saw her stepdad rip his up with some ugly words about his now deceased son. After that she hadn’t seen her step dad since. Fine by her, she didn’t like the guy anyways and he didn’t either.

Her mind was full of the memories of him, the good and the bad. The time where he had helped her beat a record on the arcade machines to win a giant stuffed bear for El, but then that was followed with a memory of him breaking her skateboard for sneaking out at night. She understands why he did it now, but she was still pissed about it. The walking paradox that was Billy Hargrove.

The letter itself read;

"Dear Maxine,

I want you to know I never really hated you, not one bit. I thought you were annoying sure, but who doesn't think their younger sibling is annoying? Tell Lucas I didn't hate him either, I was made to act that way. Neil wouldn't have taken too kindly to you hanging out with a black kid. He was the monster, not me.

He pit us against each other Max, especially so I wouldn't have had an ally against him. He used me to punish you since people would ask questions if you were walking about with a black eye. I hope he hasn't turned onto you since I'm going to die soon. You're a good kid Max, and you don't deserve anything he may or may not throw against you.

I'm going to sound insane right now, but there's more monsters in Hawkins other than Neil. Actual monsters that you'd see in a horror movie, dogs with no faces, ones that can walk on two legs. And one that's made out of people. That one made me take people to it against my will to help it get bigger. It brainwashed me Max, I can feel it in the back of my head as I'm writing this, it doesn't want me to tell you this. It tells me I need to not be as weak as the boy. I don't know who the boy is but you've got to keep him away from me. I already took Heather to the monster and her family, they got melted into the monster, it was the most horrible thing I've ever seen and it made me do it. I think I might be a bad person Max, but I don't want to be. I've never wanted to be a bad person but other people and things made me a bad person Max.

I don't know what I'm trying to tell you Max, I guess this might be the last time I speak to you as me. The monster is taking control more and more. Just remember that I love you, and while I might have not been the best brother to you, you were the best sister to me.

Love, Billy"

The letter had tear stains near the end, the ink starting to smear from either Billy's tears or Max's. Part of her was angry that it took Billy dying for him to tell her this, the other part felt a sort of relief to know that Billy really did love her. Tears were freely flowing as she read the letter again, pain in her chest growing for not realising earlier that Billy had been a victim of both the Mindflayer and Neil. She felt as if she had failed Billy even though she wouldn't have been able to do anything.

She clutched the letter close to her chest as she cried in the corner of Billy's room. "I'm sorry Billy, I'm so sorry,"

[chiyeko-kurea]

white girl rant

mc tavish scottish accent i hate mini doorways i can’t see if someones comin in until they’re in the middle of my room like jeez stop giving me anxiety i love when i wake up and my dog is on my bed. i know it’s because im the only one who allows her to sleep on my bed but i like to think that in the middle of the night her brain just thought of me and went ‘i wanna go sleep next to her’ i know it’s not the case she’s just bored of sleeping on the hard floor yet she always falls alseep in my sister’s bedroom she prefers to go there just to be beside her oh my god the only thing that makes her finally go in my room is discomfort. but when she wakes up she asks for cuddles and to be pet a bit and i like to imagine she’s my dog only and she’s mine and she gets me and she’s not my freaking dad’s favorite daughter. and she prefers my dad he made me so upset today i cried and i felt ashamed and like a loser because i asked him several times to sign me up to a tennis class to try it out and he did and then i panicked so much i couldn’t do it because i dont want to be alone with a man but then it was gonna be a woman days later so i said yay but the days flew by and i realized to matter who i can never find what to say and im awkward and ugly and my whole lower face skin is peeling away and my teeth are fucked up and my chin skin is flayed raw and bright bloody red and i have acne and dark circles and an embarrassing smile and i can’t play tennis for shit. for. shit. so i acted all moody teenager and i thought my dad was gonna be like you know what it’s fine if you dont wanna do it i don’t get why you changed your mind but that’s okay i’ll just cancel it. he didn’t. he was aggressive and mean and purposely shamed me in front of the family and reminded very loudly the price even though he didn’t even paid yet and my sister had to go for me and i sat there watching her be so extraverted and comfortable with a stranger when i know i wouldn’t have been able to say a word that didn’t sounded weird and wanting to cry every second and burst in tears and my dad was so so mean and usually he gets me, and my sister saved me and went i got home i burst into tears in my room and he just wanted me to try a new thing and i just wanted to cut cut cut and why on earth am i this fucking awkward loser with my earphones in and too big black hoodie like im some kind of pseudo rebellious annoying emo kid i just want to be pretty and funny and shine like why do i the worse part is i kind of really wanted to try tennis. and i think i would’ve been good. i think would not have made a total fool of myself thing is whatever i do i am a fool anyway, i am a fool for even thinking for one day of my goddamn life i could have not ruined everything. my dad looked at me weirdly the rest of the evening and i wanted to yell maybe im reminding you of your loser son you lost to drugs no shocker we get along i also want to lose myself and you saw my scars you know there’s something wrong with me and there’s something wrong with him and with you and with all of us and wherever your blood is. i like my dad, he’s a good father but at the end of the day he’s a man, and not a better one than the others. if i have good grades and a pretty face let me tell you there is NOTHING you can complain of me. i am working on my appearance to be prettier to not embarrass you anymore but one day you will have nothing to complain about and i will do whatever i want and you will try to say what changed and i will say it’s not of your business anymore you can introduce me to anyone and say yes she’s my daughter she is clever pretty she has friends she reads and she jogs and i will be perfect and i will throw plates at your head and i will be the worse and no one will know. montgommery forever and ever and ever and i will blow up and i will become a doctor and have a boyfriend and you will say we used to laugh and i will say you were there but somehow the moments when i NEEDED you to understand me you didn’t. you got me but never got me. i cant stop seeing you as a man no matter how fathe

[jestervomit]

Look at my stupid fat ass dog 😭

She's so ugly I love her

she suffers from severe anxiety and is basically me but dog

She's inbreed... Her mother kissed her son and she got pregnant (that's how babies are made)

also she was abused by her mother (same), so much so that she broke her legs and broke her skull (so now she looks weird)

anyways her fucking leg is broken but I the doctors said that it's fine for some reason

she's like those videos of abused dogs- if you show her ANY OBJECT she will run away

was never abused by a human, tho

unless you count his old owner who never fed her

wait that's abuse

Uh

Anywho

so his old owner kinda just abandoned her... And I kinda liked her so whatever

She lived like

Half of her life on my ceiling... Yeah I'm not gonna elaborate on that

So I kinda liked her and I adopted her from my mother (who also didn't feed her)

so now I have a dog

She's cute

i like her

This was supposed to be another meme post but it turned like a vent-ish something uhhhh

[cleolinda]

Weekend links, April 28, 2024

My posts

I spent the first half of the week struggling through (well-medicated) mania and the second half currently with a sinus infection! I’m not enjoying it! Not either one! 

Reblogs of interest

Pro-Gaza protests at universities in the U.S.: a solidarity Passover seder and an accidental Pulitzer photo

Canada Agrees 200 Islands Belong to the Indigenous Haida Nation

--

The Hot Vintage Lady Polls continue to go for the throat. I felt so bad about Dorothy Dandridge that I started posting and reblogging propaganda for her, but Ava Gardner, my beloved, went through anyway. Backing her felt like a wish on a monkey’s paw ("Not like this!!"). (See all poll results here.) I tremble to think what round 5 will look like. Like, there’s a point when your girl is gonna come up against a Hepburn, you know?

Notably gone this week: Judy Garland, Julie Andrews, Lupe Vélez, Irene Papas (who took out Vivien Leigh in the previous round), Gene Tierney, Barbara Stanwyck, Lena Horne, Jean Seberg, Anita Ekberg, Angela Lansbury, and Cyd Charisse. Like I keep saying, everybody loses. Everybody but one. Round 5 will start May 1st. 

--

Hozier Watch 2024: His first U.S. #1, which he’s now playing at shows! The first U.S. #1 for an Irish artist in 34 years! What?? you cry. Did “Take Me to Church” not do that ten years ago? Well, I went and looked it up: No. That was the “Blank Space” era. Say no more. 

Speaking of Taylor Swift—Paste Magazine went IN on the new album and got threats as a result. Meanwhile, Taylor’s fans are harassing the ex-boyfriend who did nothing wrong (as opposed to the racist one) because her PR is egging them on. I’ll admit: even though I’m not a fan, I found the Paste review to be overlong and not focused enough on the actual songs, proportionally. But that post about the PR saga is everything I miss about Fandom Wank. 

(“My rival dresses to display her legs, and her shoes are of an alluring fashion”)

Meanwhile, the Watcher guys issued the best apology possible, although it was still excruciating to watch. (Background.) They will remain on YouTube while introducing the streaming service. As a Patreon member, I haven’t asked for my free subscription code yet, but I’m going to. Some fans forgave them pretty easily; others have walked away. I’m curious to see if this affects the mood of anything new they film, since a segment of the fandom got really, really ugly about it. Mostly it just felt sad all around. 

Meanwhile, in Alabama: nobody wants to measure the feral hog.

Turns out Death Note had a good reason to concoct “American” names like “Bobson Dugnutt.” Also, I somehow had two posts tagged “death note” this week and I don’t even go here.

The worst brownies ever created and what Tumblr has to say about them

“You roll up to the Wizard Battle and your opponent takes out his spellbook but it’s just one of these”

I know that Loki is not Odin’s son in actual Norse mythology, but the bredlik is amazing.

TIL that Florence and Ravenna are still feuding over Dante’s remains

Maybe haunted dolls cost extra

Chorses

Video

Branch manager

Senior branch manager

“Free serotonin from Honey the Italian greyhound”

Sola learned to show love from her humans

I have seen many of jauncydev’s videos about dog personalities, but I have never seen him commit quite this hard before

I like tie-dye videos anyway, but this one is sick as hell

The sacred videos: you are not prepared for this police sketch, and neither is this news anchor

The sacred texts

Kick his ass, baby. I got yo flower.

Gold Star, You Tried: A compilation

A personal favorite: “mayhaps I TWIMST aroumd”

The origin of “By Talos this can’t be happening”

Personal tags of the week

Seasonally: cherry blossom. Also, art: an old standby, but it was really good, and also, I’m sick.

[wisteriagoesvroom]

tagged by the lovely @serve-cunt (and i think @kazoologist?) for this 15 questions game!

Are you named after anyone?

no idea but my dad may have given me the middle name of one of his exes... anyway... there's a reason my parents got divorced LKFJLDKSFJLKJDFK

When was the last you cried?

someone who helped raised me passed away about uhhh two weeks ago so i full on let out some pretty ugly sobs in hospital last week. just being way too real tbh

Do you have kids?

no and do not intend to

What sports do you play/have you played?

i did multiple forms of dance for like over half my life atp

Do you use sarcasm?

would i?? (legit tho my humour leans more dry or sharp i think)

What is the first thing you notice about people?

energy, probably

What is your eye color?

brown

Scary movies or happy endings?

oh happy, definitely. which you wouldn't be able to tell from like half my fics lmao i usually end ambiguous or open-ended, but old dogs can learn new tricks hey? (see: the sun. and blow which in its own way is a happy ending.... meta upon meta upon meta wow... literary blow job fic...)

Any talents?

y'all tell me

Where were you born?

in a jar and then i was reborn when i accepted the gospel of the father (lewis hamilton) the son (oscar piastri) and the holy spirit (whatever is going on betwen james vowles and that williams excel sheet)

What are your hobbies?

*laughs in f1blr*

Do you have any pets?

not where i live, but my sister has two rescue dogs! one is extremely cranky and one is extremely skittish and they make for a really funny tho sometimes deranged combo.

How tall are you?

i thought 163cm but apparently the real number is closer to 161... perfect size to fit under the arm of anyone on the grid tho pretty much. wouldn't even have to lean down too far to kiss yukibear

Favorite subject at school?

eng lit and history probably cus i was encouraged to yap at length 😔✊

Dream job?

wag nah i'm too outspoken to be that and also not bothered with the body hair maintenance. uhhh real answer i honestly don't know. will get back to you on that

0 pressure tags - @lovelylotusf1 @maaxverstappen @momimf1ne @jusst-you-race @interlvgos @kichona-s @scuderiabs @blueballsracing @amerikate @supercollide @dirchristophernolan @souvenir116 @monacodarling @wanderingblindly @monacotrophywife and whoever wants to play!

[ladysophiebeckett]

I read you think Freddy knew about Armando and Betty or at least suspected something weird was going on (Wilson most likely too). At Inesita’s house, it was obvious that something was happening to Armando and it had to do with Betty, but the night at the bar the day she returned to Ecomoda, do you think Freddy suspected that Armando had feelings for Betty? We, as the audience, know that everything Freddy said about having a loved one looking more beautiful than ever and picturing them with someone else at that very moment was painful, which voiced out loud exactly what Armando was thinking judging by his reactions, but do you think Freddy picked up on that?

El Cuartel should have discussed this piece of gossip with Freddy because they notice Betty is being really cold with Armando and know they definitely had a falling out, but Freddy knows for a fact that Armando supports her presidency and admires her a lot, and also gets really defensive about her (well they all know that because they saw how upset he became with the dude that wanted to dance with Betty who wouldn’t take no for an answer). Anyways, I just can’t believe they didn’t suspect anything sooner. I guess this is one of the most unbelievable parts tbh or how about when Armando went insane trying to contact Betty when they told him she was gonna quit and yet they still didn’t think his feelings were genuine? Even after they found out he broke up with Marcela for good, didn’t do anything with Alejandra, not even Inesita, of all people, dared to think he was jealous for real? (She does pick up on this later when she sees his desperation, but not before he had a breakdown and destroyed Mario’s office). I’ve seen people say Armando and Mario share one brain cell, but also El Cuartel sometimes 😂

I can't take credit for the Freddy knowing addition, one of my mutuals added that and i had to go back the episode to confirm. And also super agree(!!). If Freddy suspected it at Inesita's house, then the scene in bar the night of Betty's return confirms it. let me get the caps:

like why is freddy saying 'y, usted?' for? he knows that something happened between them but freddy is discrete. (like, everyone at ecomoda knows about armando's infidelities towards marcela, why wouldn't Freddy, who takes care of armando's car, has access to armando's apartment and probably took care of that dog that disappeared---why wouldn't he know about betty and armando?). he's the closest employee to armando that's not betty.

going back to the bar convo--yes i think Freddy picked up on it, lol.

el curatel was never gonna discuss that with freddy bc, well they didnt know he had important information, but also bc he was only sometimes an honorary member. they themselves wouldn't have discussed this with freddy bc they would say its not his business. (son cosas de mujeres). cuartel loves gossip but they're hit and miss with their investigations. they never suspected be The Quiet One to be having an affair with her boss (this aside from the fact that Betty is 'ugly' (we know she isn't but thats how they perceive her).

Bertha is actually the closest person in el cuartel to finding out about the affair. She literally saw them leave the exhibit together and Armando shut her down quick from saying anything to Marcela. So it's very convenient that she gets sent away bc of her pregnancy right when everything at la junta directiva is coming to light. convenient also that her return to ecomoda is also the day that betty returns to ecomoda. the one person that could have pieced part of it together while armando was on a binge and betty was away, was also missing in action.

Regarding when not believing Armando and not telling him where Betty is--I think part of it is that they know what he did and that doesn't exactly give them incentive to help him (on top of Betty giving instructions not to tell him). At least that's how Aura Maria feels about it, bc she's the one who doesn't waver and also the last one to support Armando at the end (I mean the eps of the arrival of Michel).

They're not completely dumb bc whenever Betty is sad or upset, they notice it but they never know the reason why bc Betty wont tell them. Tho they're heart is often times in the right place, they're very nosey and get caught very easily. That's why Betty doesn't tell them everything. (probably why Freddy doesnt either).

[ghostiiess]

[NSB HEADCANONS] - having a dog with regie be like

pov: you and regie decided to have a dog. how would it be?

warnings: some swears here and there, mention of sex (not with the dog, don’t worry 💀) i think that’s it? let me know if there’s more :)

type: wholesome

member: regie macalino

REBLOGS AND LIKES ARE VERY MUCH APPRECIATED!

We all know how regie loves animals (btw he recently got a cat!! The name’s marble!!)

Tbh idk if regie is more like a cat or dog type of person

But for this hc, I’ll go with the ‘dog type of person’ just bc i have seen more nsb content with dogs than cats

If you didn’t watch the nsb video about them (the members) rescuing a dog, you have to watch it!!

It’s so cute and adorable, like-

Anyways, i won’t spoil you the video if you haven’t watched it :)) it’s one of their “old” videos (if i can say it like that? Like it’s not recent)

Back on track

If regie would have a dog with you-

Oh boy….

(More under the cut!)

First off, i hope you’re not too sensitive or sad when people don’t give you attention, because if you are… 😬 I’m sorry

Like regie loves animals (not supposed to sound in a bad way, i mean it in a totally normal way)

He would buy the doggie a lot of toys

And when i say a lot, i mean it

This man would go to the freakin dollar store to buy random ugly dogs toys

And he would laugh about them (the toy)

“This shit’s so fucking ugly, bruh”

“Holy shit, man!!! That’s a weird ass section for dogs, cuh…”

He would even film himself buying these 💀

And share it on his social medias

Yes, because he has an ig icon where he put all his ig stories and videos of your dog

Including him buying stuff for the dog

“This one’s ugly af, man…… wtf is that…?!”

AND HE WOULD BUY IT

HE WOULD BUY THE UGLY DOG TOY

And he would laugh!!!

At this point, regie is just buying ugly dog toys because he found them funny

Obvs, he would buy normal one at the pet shop (or everywhere else you can buy dog toys), do not worry

Regie would also call you the mother of the dog

I am sorry, like it has to be said

Regie = dog’s dad

You = dog’s mom

“Wdym, that’s weird?????? YOU’RE MY GIRL???”

“Babe, i love you, but this is our son, this is literally not nice to say this in front of him”

This man would take his job at heart

And i am not even kidding

He would not only give the dog fresh water, fresh food and walks (im saying it like if it was a privilege for the dog to have these, but know that some people do not do that. Some people do not take care of their animals (not just dog owner) like they should be taking care of), but he would also play with him and give the dog all his love

To me, regie would be one the best dog owner

He would make sure the dog’s never stressed or anxious (or at least not around him), never missing something, never hurt…

He would take walks with you :(

He would take a picture of you and him walking together, hands in hands, and would write “ taking a walk with my two babies” (or smth like that, idk)

CAN HE NOT???? CONTROL???? HIS WORDS????

he would make sure everything’s fine

He would do these cute painting dogs paws art, idk the name

With ofc, not dangerous painter for the dog’s paws

He would use dogs paint (yes it exist)

It would be the cutest thing ever

He would film you playing with the dog and sent it to the nsb family groupchat 🫢

“Guys isn’t she the cutest?” (Not talking abt the dog, here)

Idrk if regie would put clothes on the dogs tbh 😭

He doesn’t look like the type to buy dog clothes, but like if you’re interested, then I’m sure he wouldn’t mind…? Maybe?

During lovey lovey time, he would obvs close the door (logic), and also lock the door

No bc imagine you’re doing seggs, and you see your dog watching you 💀

Like idk, wouldn’t that break the ambience? 😭 like idk the dog wouldn’t even understand or care, but like.. IDK IS IT JUST ME? MAYBE?

Anyways, so yeah he would close the door

Regie would be so happy to hear that you are jealous about the dog

Hear me out, please.

Not jealous like “you love our dog better than me!!”

Jealous in a way like “bro, I’m ur gf can u spend time with me, too??? »

This man’s would smile

We already know how his smile is, like… regie’s smile >>

“ I’m sorry, babe. The dog’s just so cute”

“I’m not saying you’re not cute, it’s just… i love dogs, okay?”

You can’t tell me I’m wrong on this one’s, bc in the nsb video, regie couldn’t stay away from the dog

Apparently some comments said he even cried a little bit when the dog had to leave (which is normal, animals lovers can understand the pain im talking about 😭)

Like…

Regie would be a really good dog owner

Random thought: he would make meme of your dog’s face and sent it to you

“He’s fine, dw” then send you the worst cursed picture of your dog

Btw, he would have more pictures of the dog than you 💀

To conclude this hc (i could go on and on and on), regie would be the sweetest dad (dad of the dog)

Bring some tissues because this man’s sweet, he know how to take care of animals and how to make them feel at ease, like the dog in the video was always with regie

Hope you guys enjoyed the hc!!

taglist! (open! Send an ask if you’d wanna be in it!) : @nsb-rkive @kentisbaby @firebenderwolf @hyuneee0

Bold can’t be tagged.

[einsteinsugly]

After everything I’ve seen and read on tumblr, I’m scared to watch s8 of That 70s show. I know the writers completely destroyed all the characters. Fez is already an annoying character in s4, and he’s becoming a sexist jerk.

Do I even bother watching the 8th season?

Iirc, I remember only watching the few eps and then the last couple. It definitely qualifies under the "don't bother suffering through it" category (as is T9S). A glimpse is the most I can bother taking. Don't bother, I'll give you the highlights.

The highlights:

-Hyde marries a stripper, Sam. She is devoid of any personality, and serves as an object to pull Jackie and Hyde apart. He's dug himself a grave, and he chooses to lie in it (ugh).

-It turns out that Sam was already married, so the marriage wasn't valid, anyway.

-They try really freaking hard to integrate Sam and Randy into the fold, but it fails miserably.

-Donna is an OOC shell (as is everyone else), and befriends Sam and pushes Jackie away, and calls her a bitch at one point.

-Kelso randomly proposes to Jackie (which was a jumping-off point T9S could've gone with, but since Jay is sixteen, they went with the stupid, late season 4 AU route). Jackie says no, obviously, and Kelso moves to Chicago to be closer to Brooke and Betsy. He becomes a security guard at the Playboy mansion, which meh.

-Eric breaks up with Donna via a letter, and Donna starts dating Randy. My headcanon is that Eric wants her to stop waiting for him and that he heard how she was treating Jackie (like shit), so he temporarily broke it off. Hoping for her to get her shit together, but that didn't happen (until the very end).

-Randy is an Eric-y character with a bit of Kelso (he loves dogs, and is somewhat superficial). He's nothing special; I don't hate him, other than for what he represents. He's just a meh character, to me.

-Everyone treats Jackie like shit, including Fez, her eventual lover. Fez says she's ugly on the inside and the outside, and Jackie says he's wrong about the outside part (wtf?).

-Jackie works as an assistant for Christine St George, the host of What's Up Wisconsin, who is a heartless piece of shit that Jackie readily calls out. It's the only salvageable storyline, IMO, until they devolve it and make Jackie sweep hair at Fez's salon. To "humble" her, which wtf?

-Fez has turned into a playboy, and is even more cringe-y than before. Jackie and Fez now live together, since Kelso has moved to Chicago.

-Hyde calls Jackie "Point Place's sluttiest slut," and everyone shits on her for dating almost all the guys from the OG gang. Hyde also pushes her into a creek at one point.

-Jackie and Fez are incredibly forced, and Jackie comes to the conclusion that Fez is her soulmate via a superficial, desperate list, which Donna affirms. Hyde vaguely gives them his blessing, but it's clear that it's hollow as hell.

-Jackie and Fez kiss in the finale, on top of the water tower. Jackie struggles to be intimate with him, and Fez paints over Jackie's name in "Jackie and Michael," and it's now "Fez and Michael." Extra note, the Jackie and Michael thing on the water tower seems to be fully intact in T9S (without any edits, to even fix it), so it's further proof that T9S isn't canon.

-Hyde has a nasty pornstache at the end of the season, and Kitty calls him her "second son." Kitty has a new hairstyle, too. The Red and Kitty stuff is better than the stuff in seasons 6 and 7, but like T9S, the decent Red and Kitty stuff can't save season 8.

-Eric and Donna, seemingly, get back together on New Year's Eve. Well, kind of, since they have some shit to work through. Donna's headed off to college in Madison, and Eric came home from Africa early (I explain why in my verse, btw).

The end. It's a vaguely fixable mess, unlike T9S. Which is an unfixable mess, imo.

[esevik]

Part 1: Outside

As soon as a pet bunny was introduced in one character's backstory I knew it would meet a tragic end. I may like Lindqvist as a writer but why does he need to keep killing bunnies in his stories? (I like bunnies so it hurts to read about them coming to harm.)

Anyway, this is a horror story where four seemingly random families are transported into some kind of other dimension and they have to figure out a way out of there. So far there is no direct threat to their lives but tension keeps building by every page.

The first family concists of a dad, mum and young daughter (my guess is that she's about six years old). Appearance-wise they look pretty much perfet but in actuallity they barely stand each other and the daughter may or may not be possessed by a demon/something evil. They're pretty dysfunctional bordering on abuseive.

The second family is like the complete oposite of the first one. It also has a dad, mum and a young son (about five years old) and while they look average(maybe even ugly) they love each other and care deeply about one another.

The third family is a stereotypical older couple with a stern conservative man and a woman who "knows her place". However she's far from meek, it's more a case of her finding comfort in her lot in life. And apparently she once poisoned her husband with rat poison (not a deadly dose) just to let him know that whenever she actually puts her foot down she means it. They also has a dog that's one of the point of view characters.

The last family is two middle aged gay guys who are together. It seems like they both had their own lives and families before discovering that they actually were in love with one another. By that I mean they talk as if they know the other person inside-out but they are pretty awkward with intimacy with each other. They also have a cat who sadly isn't a point of view character.

So far it feels like the cause of it all is pointing towards the first family's daughter. However it wouldn't surprise me if she turned out to be a red herring.

[nami-lvr]

Correct OP Headcannons

Ft: Luffy, Usopp, Nami, Robin, Zoro, Sanji, Chopper, Brook, and Franky!

Part 2 | Part 3 | Part 4 |

A/N: Hey guys! First post YAYAYAYYAYAY 🔥🔥 I love love love the silly show smsmsm and the next part will include Mihawk, Doffy, Cora, Buggy, and Crocodile!

Luffy

Erm I don’t have much for him

SIKE

Bro smells

Does not wash his ass

Has those back pimple thingys and lets you pop them (GROSS!!!)

Band kid

For sure

100% a band kid

iPad kid as well

Can’t do anything without entertainment

Has autism

If you disagree you don’t like autistic ppl :/ (JOKING OFC!!)

I think his special interest would be pirates bc he thinks they’re cool

Has greasy hair

Smells bad (knows) doesn’t care

Doesn’t floss his damn teeth

HAS CROOKED TEETH FIGHT ME ON THIS

Needs braces

Doesn’t get them bc this fool won’t take care of them

Paints his nails

Extremely ugly and bright colors

Cat shit green

Dog puke brown

Effervescent Shitstain

Whatever he can find

Usopp

My bbg would also be a band kid

Would not do anything with his hair.

At all.

Not even pick through it.

Goddamn it Usopp YOUR SCALP IS FALLING. OUT.

WASHYOURFUCKINGHAIRBOY

I swear

He just lets that shit grow

Won’t even loc up.

Istg DO SOMETHINF WITH UR HAIR

Only pulls bitches in his late teens/early adulthood because he doesn’t look 5 anymore

I’m convinced he has a gyatdayum uhhh

Fat ass

HAD TO SAY IT

Im positive that if he was real he would have that THANG just THANGin up back there

Grabbable asf

Nami

Popular pretty nice girl

Pick me (sorry!)

Would smell like strawberries for sure

Would be the girl to always have lotion on her

Would willingly take Spanish and be invested in it

Would always have gum on her

Lie about having gum on her so people won’t ask

People ask anyways

Definitelyyyy is the girl who only hangs out with guys (no shade to girls who do)

Not bc she gets along better

But because of Sanji 🙁

Literally they’re there to protect her from him (can you tell I hate Sanji yet 😛)

Basic white girl BUT I STILL LOVE HER

Stan Nami ong

She would be so proud of her friends

“Nami I got a 90% on my tes-“

“YAYYY! WERE GOING OUT TO EAT!”

So supportive

Very erm

Tough love kinda gal

You definitely have to WORK to be her friend

Robin

I heavily headcannon that she speaks Russian. (I’m projecting 😊)

She would teach you Russian for sure

And be like

Super nice about it

I love Robin

She is so

🩷🩷

Guys hear me out

She is a cat person

Would always wear fuzzy socks

Prefers the cold

She is allergic to grass fight me

Does yoga I can feel it in my bones

Would do yoga with you

Definitely bakes

Her favorite show is something true crime related

Zoro

Cmon man

This guy is so likeable

Dyes his hair a different color every month depending on what the awareness for that month is

As in blue for child abuse awareness month and green for mental health awareness month and so on

But no one knows that that’s why

They just think its cool

But he knows

He knows.

And I just think he would be the kind of guy to help the teachers clean the classroom

Straight C student

Sleeps in class

Has neck problems

Complains about said neck problems

Cycle repeats

Everyones friend

Natural born leader fr

Every tía would pass him the baby

He’s incredibly good with kids and wants some of his own

BUT!!!!

He is asexual

DUN DUN DUNNNN

Makes fun one people to their face (me for real)

Sanji

I fucking hate Sanji. Not sorry! He is weird 😁🫶🏻

Would probably grab my ass

Would probably stare at my boobs

(I’m a well built gal)

Chopper

My son

I adopted him back in erm

1800

Yes

Mexicans existed in the 1800’s and I adopted him then so

Everything I say from now on is cannon bc he is my son :p

Paints his nails

Bites his nails

Has autism

Bc I said so

Definitely loves plain pasta

Like thats his favorite food

Brook

Erm

I don’t really like him either-

SIKE YOU THOUGHT

Bro is a stoner

No more questions

Tokes it up in the back of class

Gives no fucks if he gets caught

The kinda guy you wanna smoke your first joint with

Extremely good trip sitter

I feel like

I really feel like

I hope hope hope

He would dislike Sanji for being perverted and see that its bad and change his ways

💔💔💔💔

Brook recovery arc bc i say so

#brook redemption arc

Franky

The fun uncle

Everyone loves Franky

Loud drunk

Extremely loud drunk

Like

Noise complaint loud kinda drunk

Still funny as shit thought

[purgetrooper77]

My thoughts of the Season 3 finale of The Mandalorian

Warning: Spoilers (duh)

Hello everyone, I just saw today's finale of The Mandalorian. In my honest opinion, I thought the ending was sweet but a bit rushed. Now, before y'all start typing in the replies like an angry mob, allow me to explain why I don't think this season was a bad season as some ppl think it is.

Moff Gideon's return was something I didn't expect but something I had to enjoy. Of course, we had other villains like Gorian Shard and Palleon show up, but Gideon is the one who stood out to me the most. The fact that he cloned himself was something so unexpected that I actually enjoyed it.

Now the Darksaber getting destroyed: I expected that to happen ever since Bo Katan grabbed it in the first place. I was shocked to see it, but I knew something like that was unavoidable. Yes I know that plays a huge role in Mandalorian culture (on Bo's side) but everything doesn't last forever and Moff Gideon proved that.

Just now, I am seeing ppl complain about Grogu's new name being Din Grogu and not Grogu Djarin. I am confused as to why ppl are making this a big deal. It's not. Maybe the planet Din Djarin is from, Din is a last name, and Djarin is a first name. Maybe the Armorer knows that and decided to do the same thing to Grogu since he is now Djarin's son. Like I said, I don't understand why ppl have a problem with this. That's like ppl having a problem with cat owners adopting a dog. Maybe the cat owner suddenly loves dogs. You never know.

Last but not least, the last thing I want to talk about is the future of Star Wars. As much as I love the franchise and I love the actors in Lucasfilm, I'm concerned for its future. I'm not talking about the fans, I'm talking about the writers. I am starting to understand why ppl are slowly falling out of love with The Mandalorian, and that makes me concerned for future Star Wars projects. I do want The Mandalorian to have a Season 4, and I do want all the other shows to do well than previous ones. I have faith that the writers would fix their mistakes and take some time. I am noticing some rushed elements into the story, and I want that to stop rn. Star Wars is art, and you can not rush art. If art is rushed, it would look ugly. Anyways I hope this sheds a light on other Star Wars fans, and I do hope one day we all will get better Star Wars content in the future. And if this all fails, we'll protest.