#anyway. her middle name is louise now bc I said so :)

[swinging-stars-from-satellites]

If you don’t mind writing angst or sad right now, how about a snippet from when Holly loses the rest of her Rotwell team. :))

Holly Louise Munro is sixteen years old and doesn't think she's going to make it to seventeen. Plenty of psychic agents don't, after all. And this window isn't a very good reassurance.

The night started ordinarily enough. The case was somewhat routine, disturbances and disruptions that her team was sent to investigate and mitigate. Most poltergeists don't make a habit of violently hurling knives the instant the sun goes down, though. Most wait, most build up to full attacks, most don't do this-

Holly has to remind herself to breathe, but not too loudly. It's only barely one in the morning, still comparatively early in a usual worknight. If she breathes too loudly, or moves too much, or panics, the Visitor will hear her, or sense her, or notice her, and she can't have that. She has to file a report, it's only proper procedure, she has to- She has to tell their families.

Arthur was the first to be killed. Holly was in the kitchen prepping tea, quickly and clipped and just the way she always does, while the other three made their rounds, set up chains, laid iron filings. Arthur, a supervisor around her height with a face full of freckles, stopped into the kitchen to check in with her. Holly's head was ducked, not looking his direction even though she heard him coming with his cheerful, "Oy, Munro-". The instant he poked his head of tousled ginger hair around the entrance to the kitchen, a knife flew through the air and stabbed into his neck, all but pinning him to the wall of the hallway behind him.

Holly's head had whipped up at the grisly thunk, in just enough time to see the light go out of his eyes. Her mind was utterly blank for far too long, and it was the first time she had to remind herself to breathe that night. The blank look in Arthur's eyes, the knife protruding from his windpipe and the thin trickles of blood falling down around it, are seared into her memory. She'll never forget that.

Selfishly, she'll hate herself for it later and has already kind of started, her first thought is it's in here with me. It's fuzzy and slow, the realization, but it sticks in her head anyway. She puts a hand on her rapier, tries to remember where she'd seen the knife block sitting on the counter before the sun set, and thanks God above for the gift of shock.

Poltergeists are drawn to strong emotion. If she were feeling anything in particular at the moment, she would easily become the next victim. She'd never seen a Visitor become so violent so quickly before coming to Cotton Street. There isn't an iron circle in the kitchen. They hadn't thought there was enough space or need.

"Brenton," Holly calls as loudly as she dares, "Christa," and the other two members of her team hadn't responded. Brenton refused to go by his first name, and Christa was barely fourteen years old. Arthur had loved caramelized biscuits. He'd probably been coming to beg some from her when he was killed.

For the longest time, Holly stood stock still in the cramped kitchen of a home on Cotton Street with the body of one her supervisor, who loved caramelized biscuits and earl grey tea and had too-long ginger hair that stuck up every which way and freckles almost as dark as Holly's own skin, and all she could think of was lists of details of these children she works with. Children who likely won't see another birthday. Children sent to die in a home on Cotton Street.

All she could think was that Christa's favorite color is green and she'd had strawberry cake from a storebought boxed mix that she'd made herself for her birthday last week even though Holly had offered to bake something, and that she'd worn non-regulation platform boots to make herself look taller, and her wispy blonde hair fell in front of her eyes like mare's-tail clouds. All Holly could think is that it took her six months to find out Brenton's first name, Augustin, and that he'd been named for a Saint who preached unity even though the boy himself picked more fights on sillier grounds than anyone Holly had ever met, even all her aunts and uncles at family reunions when she was very little, and that she brought chamomile tea along even though it wasn't a standard because she knew he had anxiety and it helped to calm his nerves. And that these were the children Holly now had responsibility for, as the oldest of them, and who she can't save from this.

"Christa," she tries again. "Brenton!" Her voice is getting more shrill, she knows it, can feel it trembling in her jawbone. All of a sudden she wants to cry. She's only sixteen. She's more of an adult than any of them, but she's not, not really. She just has to be. She has to be the adult, because that's what would keep them alive. They needed her. "I need you!"

"Alright, Holly?" Came one high, airy little voice, and if Holly hadn't choked out the tiniest little sob as she dares to step out into the hallway, closer to Arthur's body but father from the knife block which she remembers now is sitting under the tiny square window with curtains she had thought earlier were pretty, with embroidered daisies and dandelions, she's a liar.

"Christa, come here right now," Holly says. "Rapier out." A rapier won't do much good against a Visitor with no corporeal form, but she isn't going to tell the other girl that. The key right then was to stay calm, to hold themselves together to hopefully keep them alive. "Was Brenton with you?" She asks, stepping out to meet Christa and keep her from seeing Arthur with a knife in his neck. They see so much in this job, but she can try to protect the littler girl from this much.

Christa shakes her head. "He was in the bedroom."

Holly nods, shouts Brenton's name again, and stiffens when she hears rattling from behind them. She doesn't dare turn around to look back toward the kitchen, but she would have and did bet her life that the knives were moving, slipping from their slots and drawers and Arthur's throat. She takes Christa by the shoulders, bends to look her in the eye because even platform boots can't make a little girl big all at once.

"Go find him and get into your chain circle. That's what he was doing, right?" When Christa nods, Holly continues. "Go tell him I said to get in the chains, right now. stay there until I say so." For the first time, fear shows in Christa's eyes. For the first time, she looks back over Holly's shoulder. She gasps and goes even paler than usual and starts to tremble in Holly's hands. "Don't look," Holly says. "Go. I'll be right behind you."

"Do you promise?" Christa asks. And Holly, trying to be the adult, trying to remind herself to breathe, nods once and firmly.

"I promise." She pushes Christa toward the bedroom, toward hopefully safety. The girl doesn't look back. She was always whip-smart, Holly can tell her parents that, always did the inventory twice as well as anyone and enjoyed the mathematics and memorized the regulations, knew what to do if she had to go off-book, too.

She was so, so bright and had mare's-tail hair and she had trusted Holly so completely that when she picked up her pace and started running on her size four platform combat boots, Holly truly thought she'd be safe in the chain circle with Brenton in only a few seconds. She hoped it, believed it so much that she turned away to return, steeling herself metaphorically and literally, to the kitchen where her bag was.

She had flares, salt bombs, precious senses of safety in there. Quickly, clipped, she collected her things, strapped extras onto her body, stared at the knives hovering just above their places in the knife block. It wasn't attacking her right now. It couldn't, of course, because it's focus was on the tiny girl down the hall. The thud sent chills through Holly, the sudden ice cold that comes with being pierced through with abject terror.

Dropping her bag, she'd run toward the sound, and come to a desperate halt when she saw the knife, the same one that had sliced through Arthur's windpipe, embedded between Christa's shoulderblades. It must have severed her spine in just the right place, because she's dead by the time Holly tries to find her pulse. She thinks, and will continue to think, that it's a mercy. Still, tears come to her eyes and she's forced to blink them away, keep breathing, keep breathing, when Brenton appears, sweaty and shocked.

"Munro?" He says weakly. She shakes her head.

"Go," she hisses, and hears metal rattling ominously. "Get in the circle," she cries, standing to her feet and running to push him ahead of her. "It's a Poltergeist," she explains hastily, shoving him roughly into the bedroom where a wide circle of chain sits in the clear space between the bed beside the door and the window at the far wall of the room. "Get in-"

She flinches, drops her grip on Brenton's arm and covers her head in fear when something shiny flashes in the corner of her eye. She doesn't know what it is, but this Visitor's hallmark is metal things, harmless metals like copper and composites free of iron or silver, cheap faux silverware and bargain jewelry.

It's an ornamental gold pocketknife and a hatpin this time, that do sweet terrified Brenton in. The knife is just large enough that she can see it sticking out of his stomach, the hatpin embedded in between two of his ribs, probably puncturing a lung. She whimpers a small, useless "No!" as Brenton crumples to the floor just outside the chain. She blinks hard and fights back tears once more, struggles to breathe even shallow shaky breaths, and clings to the small sweaty hand he holds out.

"The circle," Brenton wheezes, moving his arm like he's trying to push her into it. Almost robotically, she crawls across the chain, into the protective circle, but never let's go of Brenton as she does.

"It's going to be okay," she whispers uselessly, "You're going to be fine."

Brenton stared at her, hopefully in too much shock to feel the pain as he had bled slowly out against a chest of drawers. His eyes were wide and green and every part of him was trembling. His breaths were strained and labored and Holly knew, the whole time, that she was lying to him. He was dying right in front of her. Her whole team was dead or dying. They were just children.

Brenton fumbled with her hand, his palm slipping. Something thunked into a wall outside in the hall. "I'm scared, Hol, I'm so scared, please, Holly-"

"I've got you," she told him, "It's alright, August, I'm here, I'll-" She couldn't say protect you. She's already failed at that. "It's alright. I've got you." She says it over and over, until internal bleeding or a collapsed lung takes the light from his eyes. She keeps saying it even after he's dead as if that can bring him back or make it true.

She keeps saying it for so long that she doesn't realize at first how loud the rattling throughout the house is. Drawers are shaking, items that aren't shiny or sharp now threatening at every angle. There is a trail of Holly's dead teammates leading to this room, and there's next to no good way to fight a Poltergeist this strong. Holly is completely alone except for a thing that wants to kill her and will probably succeed, and she has to remind herself to keep breathing.

The window is her only chance. It's a second floor, but she can probably survive that. The odds are better than staying here through the night, rapier useless and team dead around her. She thinks she's going to be sick. She thinks there's almost no point. If the fall doesn't kill her she'll still be alone til morning.

She gives up on the chains and finds herself pressed against the wall beneath the window, shaking. A drawer flies open in the bedside table and a desperate sob rips out of her. She can't time it properly, can't see the Visitor's approach as it comes to take her life. She forces herself to breathe once, twice, and then turns, scrabbles at the window latch and throws it open. It screeches with disuse, takes all her shaky strength to pry it open and lift it wide enough to get out, and she almost falls headfirst when she manages it.

The noise in the house builds to a fever pitch as Holly rolls out of the window, finds herself on a tile roof, and keeps sliding. The impact when she hits brick, a chimney, will leave her with bruises and a single broken rib. She can still hear the rattling and pounding inside the Cotton Street flat, can see all three of her teammates lying dead inside. For the first time since the sun went down, she doesn't have to force herself to breathe.

When they find her in the morning, the flat's owner and DEPRAC and a Rotwell department head, still lying against the chimney barely aware of the world around her, she's cried herself out. She's dehydrated and exhausted, but there's no more rattling inside the house. She'd cried for hours, rattling sobs wrenching out of her, in the dark against that chimney. It was loud and ragged and she doesn't know how none of the neighbors heard her. She cried so hard her head hurt and she couldn't even speak to explain what happened to her for nearly a full day.

The scene inside the flat had spoken for itself, though. Holly was the sole survivor, of course. And she got to see her seventeenth birthday, not that it mattered much. She was taken off of active duty, assigned a desk and inventory and peperwork that she did twice as well as anyone else in honor of Christa Wells, who didn't live to see fifteen. She drinks chamomile tea when her hands shake because she remembers how scared Augustin Brenton was when he died, and she keeps a pack of caramelized biscuits in a well-oiled drawer in her desk because she sometimes still expects Arthur O'Connor to come by and ask if she has any.

She is very good at her job, no matter how angry she finds herself at the adults, real adults, who so fail the children in their care and instead leave the children to each other. Even in that, she finds herself numb more often than not and wonders if this is what it's like for Visitors. She doesn't know why she survived and they didn't. She doesn't know why she's alive, or how to be.

Holly has to remind herself to breathe sometimes.

[leossmoonn]

can i request a fic with stefan where the reader loses her memories (like stefan did in s5) so stefan takes her out to all the places that are special to their relationship and he tells her all about how they used to date and how she loved him and all and then at the end she kisses him ❤️

if not that's okay! have a good day and make sure to drink some water ❤️❤️

okay ill be honest i dont remember anything of tvd from season 4 and on bc it was just so boring to me but YES I CAN DK THIS. and thank you! i hope you have a good day, and hydrate too <33 mwah!

masterlist

warnings / includes - mild language, crying, sad stefan, kissing, eating and food, talk about sex. oh and youre a vampire and grew up w stefan and damon :)) and you’ve been dating stefan ever since you two turned into vampires and you two have been married for 50 years! (yay) . not really edited

————

“can’t you just do your voodoo magic and fix her?”

“that’s not how it works, damon.”

“well, it works whenever elena needs it. just admit it, you don’t like y/n.”

“i do! this is just more complicated -”

“bullshit! i know you don’t know her very well, but we’ve known her since she was born. she’s my best friend and the love of my brother’s life, who, by the way, is about to go into a frenzy if you don’t fix her!”

“i’m trying! but whatever those traveler’s did, i don’t think i can reverse it.”

“argh!” damon growled, putting his hands under a table and ripping it up.

“okay, you need to calm down,” bonnie said. “throwing a fit won’t help.”

“well, i can’t just stand here and watch her die!”

“she’s not dying, she’s just asleep. the doctor said she will wake up soon.”

“oh, as if the doctor knows anything,” damon muttered.

“she actually knows a lot, and we’ll give her the treatments the doctor recommends before we try any magic.”

damon sighed, running his hands over his face. he looked over to you, tears prickling at the corner of his eyes. he walked over to you, holding your hand in his.

“please wake up, y/n. please.”

it seemed as damon’s wishes were granted. your eyes fluttered open, a soft groan filled your throat as you tried to move your head back and forth. you peered at bonnie and damon, brows furrowing.

“who are you? and why-why are you holding my hand? get away from me!” you hissed, barring your fangs.

“well, she definitely knows she a vampire,” damon muttered.

bonnie ignored him, coming over to you tentatively. “hey, y/n. do you know who i am?”

“no. i-i want to go home. where am i? why-why does this look so strange? hospitals at home don’t look like this,” you gasped as you looked around your room.

“is she still stuck in the 1800s?” bonnie asked.

“let’s see. uh, y/n, what’s the date?” damon asked.

“1866, right?” you guessed.

“oh, shit,” damon muttered.

“what’s wrong?” you frowned. “y/n, you’re in the 21st century. it’s 2013,” bonnie explained.

your eyes bugged out of your head. “what? how-how can this be? you’re lying! you’re some witch! katherine warned me that you would try to trick me. who are you with? wha-what do you want from me?!”

“okay, crazy pants,” damon sighed. “do you know who i am?” he asked.

you took a good, hard look. “you look familiar… like you’re from a dream.”

“good, good, but do you know my name?”

your brain scrambled for the answer, but it all came up was blank.

“no, i’m sorry.”

“well, crap,” damon muttered. “what if we get stefan? he’s been her boyfriend for like, a hundred and fifty years. plus, they’ve been married for 50. she’s got to remember him,” bonnie suggested.

“yeah, okay,” damon nodded. “go and get him. i’ll stay with her.”

“why don’t i stay with her, and you go get stefan. you might irritate her enough to make her snap your neck,” bonnie snorted.

“fine. i’ll be back in a second. try to use your powers on her,” damon asked.

“no. now go,” bonnie shooed away damon.

he left, zooming through the halls to go and find his brother. meanwhile, bonnie went to sit next to you, taking your hand in hers.

“what are you doing. i said don’t touch me,” you hissed.

“what is your name?” bonnie asked.

“y/n,” you said. “what’s your full name?” she asked.

“y/n l/n,” you answered. “why are you asking me this? do you think i do not know my name?”

“no, no. i just…” bonnie sighed. “what’s your mother’s name?”

“louise,” you said. “and your father’s?” bonnie asked.

“martin. and before you ask, my sister and brother’s names are anna and christopher. are you studying me or something? oh, my… i-i swear i’m not dangerous. i don’t feed on people. not usually, anyways. please, spare me. if you want a real vampire, catch katherine pierce. her real name is katerina petrova. or klaus mikaelson, his whole family needs to be killed. please, i -”

“i’m not going to kill you. no one is going to kill you. and katherine is already dead,” bonnie explained.

“oh, really? well, then ignore what i said about her."

bonnie smiled a little. “it’s alright. do you remember anything that’s happened in the last 24 hours?”

“no, i’m sorry. i must ask again, where am i?” you questioned.

“well, you’re in 2013. about one hundred and forty-nine years from when you were turned into a vampire. that man who was here is damon salvatore. he’s been your best friend ever since you were born. you grew up together, and he turned you into a vampire. i’m bonnie bennett. i am… i have a sort of friendship with damon. i’m a witch from the bennett line. i am here to help you. we’re friends, too, actually.”

“oh,” you pursed your lips. “i’m sorry i don’t remember you. i think i remember one of your family members, though… emma, ella, em-”

“emily, yeah,” bonnie smiled. “well, it’s good to know i’m in good company,” you sighed.

“yes, you are. oh, and there’s one more person i forgot to mention. he’s damon’s brother, stefan. he’s your -”

“y/n!”

your head snapped to the door. a handsome young man stepped into the room, worrying filing his features.

“hello?” you frowned.

“it’s me, stefan. you’re husband,” the man said.

your eyes widened. “i-i- excuse me? my husband? i didn’t know i was-” your breath hitched as you saw the ring on your finger. it was a beautiful silver ring with a blue jewel in the middle, stefan and your name carved in the middle of it.

“oh,” you gasped.

“do you remember me?” he asked, coming closer to you.

you looked back up at him, furrowing your brows as you tried to remember. you shook your head in disappointment. “no, i’m sorry. i wish i could. what happened to me that i can’t remember my own husband?"

“travelers took your memory,” bonnie answered. “travelers? l-like the evil witches?” you guessed.

“yes, precisely,” bonnie nodded.

“well, can you get back my memories? you’re a witch, right?” you asked her.

“exactly! that’s what i was saying. i’m so glad someone gets it!” damon exclaimed.

“i-i’m sorry, who are you again?” you frowned. “damon. i’m damon salvatore. the best salvatore, and your best friend,” he grinned.

“oh, right - damon. and you’re uh, you’re bonnie, correct?” you turned to the brunette.

“i am,” bonnie nodded.

“and you’re…“ you turned to stefan.

hope was shining in his dazzling green eyes. his lips were pulled into a frown, his brows furrowed as tears clouded his eyes.

“you’re stefan! my, uh, my husband whom i can’t remember. i’m so sorry, again.”

“it’s okay,” he sighed. “you just woke up. you’ll probably remember later.”

“yes,” you nodded, “that’s probably it.”

just then, the doctor came in. she checked you out, telling you that you had to stay in the hospital one more night before you could be discharged. after she left, damon, bonnie, and stefan made up a plan.

“i can’t just put her memories back. i don’t have any access to them,” bonnie said.

“can’t you just pull them out of the air or something?” damon asked.

“magic doesn’t work like that, damon,” bonnie glared.

“what if we take her to all her favorite places? places she’s been to lots of times,” stefan suggested.

“yes! that is a great idea, except for the fact that she thinks she’s in the 1800s and most things that were there have been torn down or rebuilt!” damon seethed.

“well, then what else are we supposed to do, damon! we can’t just sit here and hope that her memories will come back. what if they never do!” stefan yelled.

“shut up you two! you’re scaring her!” bonnie hit both of them, then pointing to you.

both of the salvatore’s face softened as they saw your eyes wide with fear.

“look, she doesn’t know you two yet. she doesn’t trust you two. she literally thought we were going to capture her for being a vampire. we need to just take it easy and gain her trust, which won’t be hard, i hope. but i think that stefan’s idea is great. and stefan, you should be the one to do it. you deserve to build the strongest bond with her and to spend the most time with her,” bonnie explained.

stefan smiled at her gratefully. “thank you, bonnie.”

“of course, stefan,” she smiled back at him.

“what about me! i was her friend before you were even born!” damon poked stefan.

“she was literally a baby, damon. she didn’t even know who you were,” stefan scoffed.

“oh, she did. and she loved playing peek-a-boo with me,” damon huffed.

“well, i’ve been her actual best friend just a few months after she was born. you’ve been like the brother she’s never had,” stefan stated.

“same difference.” damon rolled his eyes.

“b-bonnie?” you stammered.

“yeah, what do you need?” bonnie came over to you immediately.

“um, i need to use the bathroom.” you whispered.

“oh, yeah, of course. gentlemen, please exit the room.” bonnie said to the two men.

“alright. hey, y/n, you hungry? we can get you something to eat,” damon asked.

“yes. i’m famished, honestly. um, can i have some meatloaf, please? with some wine?” you requested.

“um, y/n, i’m afraid to inform you that -” damon started, but stefan cut him off.

“we’ll see what we can find,” stefan said.

“thank you… stefan, was it?” you guessed.

“yeah. it’s stefan,” he smiled. “okay, c’mon, lover boy. the lady needs to use the restroom,” damon grabbed stefan, dragging him out of your room and shutting the door.

bonnie then helped you out of the bed and into the restroom, waiting behind the door until you called for help.

“thank you so much. your kindness is very much appreciated.” you smiled at her as she helped you back to bed.

“it’s not a problem.” bonnie sighed with a smile.

“will you be able to get my memories back?” you asked.

“um… no. not right now, i’m sorry,” bonnie frowned.

“oh, well, it’s alright. maybe it’s for the better. i can’t imagine all the horrible things i must have done to you and your friends,” you laughed sourly.

“what do you mean?” bonnie asked.

“well, i… i overheard you a little when i was waking up. damon said that you didn’t like me much. i don’t blame you, i mean, i can be crass and judgmental, but i’ve changed over the years. i-i think, at least. otherwise i suppose i would be dead from those travelers now. no one wants to help a horrible person,” you explained.

“well, you’re not horrible, at all. for someone who has been with damon for like, almost two hundred years, you’re very kind. you’re also very funny and you try to help people the best you can.”

“oh, thank you,” you smiled shyly. “um… what do you mean about being with damon?”

“oh, he’s just um… not my favorite person to be around is all. you’ll see,” bonnie chuckled.

“i think i have, a little,” you giggled. “but he seems to care a lot about me. i suppose he’s known me since i’ve been born.”

“no, he does. honestly, like stefan said earlier, damon is the older brother you never bad.”

“and stefan, he is supposed to be my best friend and lover?”

bonnie smiled, “yes.”

“can you tell me about stefan? do-do you know him well?” you asked.

“i do, actually. he’s so kind, always wanting to help people and be the best. i swear, he works himself to death trying to be the hero. he’s very level-headed and extremely smart. he’s more mellow than damon, definitely, but he has his funny, savage moments. he’s dealt with a lot of pain in his years, and you’ve been there to experience it all. in fact, he always tells us how you are his light. it’s really sweet. i wish someone talked about me like that.”

heat crept up your neck and you couldn’t help but smile. “well, i understand why i fell in love with him, then.”

bonnie chuckled, “yeah, he’s a great guy. he’s probably more rough around the edges now than he used to be, though.”

“well, that’s what happens when you’ve lived for so long,” you chuckled. “i personally think i’ve softened over the years. i remember when i was a little girl, i used to be so quick and temperamental. my mother always tried to reprimand me, but i had a mind of my own, i guess. or that’s what my father used to say. now that i think about it, i think stefan is the reason why i have changed. he’s seemed to rub off on me.”

“wait, are you starting to get your memory back?” bonnie asked, getting excited.

“no, i’m afraid not. well, not of current things. i just am remembering things about myself. i still don’t remember damon or stefan,” you frowned

“oh, well, it’s okay. you only woke up an hour ago. we’ll give it time.” bonnie patted your arm.

“thank you. you must forgive me, i’ve always had a horrible memory. and now with mine taken away, i probably will be a burden.”

“no, no,” bonnie shook her head. “please, you’re our friend. i’m sorry if damon made it seem like i don’t like you, but i do. we just don’t spend time with each other that much, but we definitely will now.”

“i hope you don’t mind it, then.”

“i definitely don’t, don’t worry.”

you two sat in a comfortable silence, stefan and damon coming back only a few minutes later.

“so, you can’t have any wine, so we got you the next best thing: grape juice. and we also didn’t find any meatloaf, but we did find some spaghetti and meatballs,” damon said, setting it all down on the table.

“oh, thank you two so much.” you smiled. you began to get up, your feet slipping suddenly.

stefan rushed to catch you, his hands going under your arms. your eyes met his immediately, your breath getting caught in your lungs. you fell into a sort of a daze as he lifted you back up on your feet.

“my, you’re handsome,” you muttered.

“thank you. you’re beautiful,” stefan smiled.

your jaw fell open, your eyes widening. “o-oh. did i say that out loud? i am so sorry -”

“no, it’s okay. it was really nice to hear that,” he assured you.

“alright, thank you,” you smiled. “of course. my pleasure.” he let go of you, pulling out a chair.

“so, i say we compel the doctor to let you go home now so we can get this show on the road!” damon announced.

“no, they need to monitor her-”

“she’s a freaking vampire, bonnie!” damon exclaimed in a hushed whisper. he then turned to you. “you feel fine, right?”

“yes. a lot better now that i’ve eaten,” you answered.

damon grinned, clapping his hands. “see? she’s fine. i say we get her into her room and let her sleep in her bed.”

“damon, that’s not-”

“excuse me,” you interrupted stefan, peering at him through your eyes. “if you don’t mind me interjecting, i’d quite like to go home. and damon is right, i am a vampire so besides my memories, my body has healed me completely.”

stefan looked at you for a few moments, sighing before talking again. “yeah, that makes sense. are you sure you’re okay to go home? i mean, you almost slipped -”

“i am okay, stefan,” you smiled. “these floors are quite slippery with these socks on.” you moved your feet to show them.

“right,” he nodded. “okay, well, damon? i assume i can trust you to compel the doctors?”

“on it!” damon grinned, rushing out the door.

“is he always this eager to help?” you asked. “only when it comes to you,” stefan chuckled.

“well, i suppose that’s okay, for now,” you hummed.

“yes. you are our first priority,” stefan smiled.

“oh, please don’t let me ruin your daily routine. like you said, damon likes helping me. he seems to not have anything important to do, anyways, no offense.” you lowered your head sheepishly. “but he can help me while you two go to school and such. do you go to high school still?”

“no, we don’t. well, stefan doesn’t, anyways,” bonnie chuckled. “i’m going to college in the fall.”

“oh, that’s wonderful! i see the women have made lots of improvements. what are you going to study?” you asked.

“research and analysis. it’s not really a study, but that’s what i’m majoring in.”

“wow, you must be so smart, then. good for you. i wish i went to college,” you frowned slightly. “

“you did,” stefan spoke up. “oh? what did i study?” you perked up.

“literature. you went around the world teaching english and literature. part of it was to fit in as a human, but another part was because you always had a passion for it.”

“sounds like me,” you smiled. “i loved reading so much. i remember my mother had to hide my books for when we ate dinner.”

“woah, you’re remembering things now?” damon walked into the toom

“not really. i’m only remembering things about myself and my family.”

“damn,” damon muttered. “it’s alright,” stefan said. “anyways, we good to go?”

“indeed we are. let’s roll,” damon said.

stefan helped you out of your seat. you took out your IV, damon rushing you to his car.

“wow. this is beautiful,” you admired his chevy.

“i know! she’s my pride and joy.” damon sighed happily as he opened the door for you.

“thank you,” you smiled at him. he returned the smile, getting into the passenger seat.

“i’ll drive her home, i-”

“actually, can stefan drive me? i’d like to get to know him more. he is my husband, after all,” you said.

stefan’s chest swelled with happiness, his lips upturning into a bright smile.

“i suppose. don’t total my car,” damon warned stefan.

“no promises,” stefan smirked, getting in the driver’s seat. “you know i’m kidding, right? i won’t crash the car.”

“i know, don’t worry,” you smiled. “great,” stefan breathed out as he started the car.

“this is amazing technology. so much faster than the horses.”

“yep. it’s amazing how far we’ve come.”

you nodded, turning your head to look at him. you looked down at his left hand, smiling a little as you saw a silver wedding band.

“how long have we been married for?” you asked.

“50 years. 51 this summer,” he answered. “how long did we date for?” you asked.

“well, we actually didn’t date until we turned vampires. as you probably know, your emotions are heightened once you turn. and our crushes on each other were just too much to ignore, we started dating. we helped each other out a lot, you helped more than me. i mean, i-i was a wreck. with katherine turning us into vampires and all, me killing my dad, damon abandoning me. you were the only person who stuck by me. you know, you were, and still are, my light,” he explained.

you grinned, “bonnie told me that that’s what you call me.”

“ah, she’s told you about me, then. what did she say?” he asked.

“well, she said that you’re very kind and are always wanting to help people. she also said that you are smart and serious, but that you have your breaking moments. she also said that you have experienced a lot of pain. i am sorry to hear that,” you frowned.

“bonnie is very kind. too kind, actually.”

“oh, don’t say that. i happen to think it’s all true. just from what i’ve seen today.”

“thank you. i’m glad i’ve made a good impression.”

“well, you are my husband, so i would think that what bonnie said is true.”

“makes sense,” he nodded. “so, where do i live? with you, i presume?” you questioned.

“yes, and with damon. we live in the salvatore boarding house. it was built for uh, well, boarding in mystic falls.”

“do we have separate rooms?” you asked.

“u-um, no. but, if you’re not comfortable with that, there are plenty of spare rooms-"

"no," you said quickly.

stefan glanced at you, eyes wide in surprise. you chuckled awkwardly, scratching the back of your neck.

"u-um, what i mean is that it is okay. i'll get to know your quicker if we share a room. just um, let me have my privacy?" you requested.

"of course, of course," he nodded. "lovely," you exhaled deeply.

you looked out of your window, observing all the people walking around town square.

"so much has changed," you said, a little nostalgic.

"i know, it's crazy," stefan laughed. "but, i'll take you to all the old places we used to go, and the new ones you have gown accustomed to."

"sounds like a deal. you know, i'm excited. is that um… strange that i am so lively after having just woken up from my memories being taken away?" you chuckled a little.

"no, no, not at all. you were always really happy and upbeat, even on the darkest days. that's one of the reasons why i fell in love with you. you may not believe this, but, i'm kind of a debby-downer. you keep it light and fun, much like damon, actually. seems as though all that time you spent with him, as young as you were, you developed someone his behaviour."

"is that a bad thing? bonnie insinuated that damon isn't a good guy," you frowned.

"no, no. you're different. you pick and choose when to be a little um… eccentric. damon just says whatever comes out of his mouth, no matter what the situation is."

"i suppose that's another reason why you love me?" you grinned. "yes, you suppose right," he nodded.

"is this the boarding house?" you pointed to the mansion stefan was pulling in to.

"yes, it is. and, you can call it your home. that's what it is," stefan said.

"alright. it's beautiful." you admired the front.

"it's even better inside. especially our bedroom. you really know how to decorate." he got out of the car, opening the door for you.

"you're very chivalrous. i like it," you giggled. "well, anything for my girl," he flashed a warm smile.

your stomach flipped suddenly, a similar feeling to your heart hammering in your chest awakened. if your heart was still alive, then you it would be palpitating and ramming into your ribcage. you smiled back at him, getting out of the car.

you two walked together to the front, stefan opening the door without unlocking it.

"do we always keep the door unlocked?" you asked. "yeah. you know, the only people we are really worried about are vampires and well, you can't get in unless you invite them in," he answered.

"oh, right. well, that's nice. we don't have to worry so much about security," you said as you stepped inside.

he nodded in agreement, closing the door behind him once you two went inside.

"wow. you're right, it is better inside," you gasped. "mmhm. so, let me show you around. this is the grand study. it was mostly used by our nephew zach, but damon killed him as soon as he got here," stefan sighed.

"o-oh. and damon is supposed to be my best friend?"

"he's better than that, don't worry. you'll see, you'll remember," stefan patted your back.

"alright," you nodded. "anyways, right here is the library's and just out here is the grand hall. here is the dining room and the living room. back there is the kitchen, and next to it is the hearth room." stefan walked you around the house.

"it's amazing. wow, and to think this is my home," you laughed. "yep, all yours," stefan smiled as he heard your laugh.

he admired you as you walked through the living room, feeling around the bookshelves and the furniture. he missed this, seeing you back at home. before you woke up in the hospital, you had been kidnapped and tortured for two weeks before the travelers dumped you in the backyard of your house. after that, stefan rushed you to the hospital and about a day later you were awake. and now here you were, making yourself at home again. you looked so pretty in the setting sunlight. stefan almost wanted to cry at the relief of finally having you home.

"show me the upstairs?" your voice pulled him out of his thoughts.

"yeah, yeah, of course," he nodded. he reached his hand out to you, you taking it graciously.

you both smiled at each other, stefan leading you up the stairs.

"so, up here is damon's room. that's where elena, his girlfriend, and him usually are. they have so much sex, you won't be able to get much rest here," stefan snorted.

"i'll make sure to wear my earplugs," you giggled.

stefan smiled at you, walking you to the next rooms. "these are the baths. and right here is our room. every other room up here is a guest room, but uh, this is the main event, i suppose." he opened the bedroom door, letting you peer inside of it.

he was right, you were a great decorator.

the room had green walls, bookshelves on the walls, and a few plants here and there. there was a big bed in the middle with gray sheets, pictures of the two of you hanging above the bed frame. there was a desk and chair in the middle of the room, books and papers strewn all over the desk top. there were picture of you two all over the walls, making you smile whilst also crying.

"what's wrong?" stefan rushed to you.

"oh, it's nothing. i just…" you sighed, turning to him. "these pictures are so lovely. i-i wish i could remember these events."

stefan took your hand in his, giving you a small smile. "don't worry about it. it's not your fault that you can remember.”

"right," you nodded, still disappointed in yourself.

"why don't we go and walk around town? maybe that'll help get your memories back," stefan suggested.

"that sounds fun, but i don't think walking around will reverse dark magic," you joked.

stefan chuckled, nodding in agreement. "you're right, but, you're starting to remember your own childhood. we don't know what the travelers took from you, so maybe they didn't take the memories of you and i. you might just have amnesia."

"i'd love to do anything to try and remember," you said. "me, too. before we go, do you want to change clothes? you've had these clothes on for two weeks," stefan gestured to your ripped shirt and dirty jeans.

"oh, yes. i didn't even realise i was wearing these." you looked down at your legs, eyes widening at the fact you were wearing pants. "when did they invent these?"

"1873, but women still couldn't wear them until the 19th century. and even then, women didn't wear them as regular clothing until the mid-20th century," he explained.

“well, i’m glad that i’ve stayed alive this long to be able to wear these. what are they called again?” you asked.

“jeans,” stefan answered. he walked over to your closet, opening it and presenting all your clothes. “and you have lots of jeans. so, go ahead and get changed into whatever. if you want to shower then go ahead, the bathroom is to the right.”

you nodded, “thank you. i’ll be done in a few minutes.”

“no problem. take your time,” he smiled.

you returned the expression, watching him as he left the room, shutting the door behind him.

you went to your closet, running your hands over your clothes. you had lots of grey, purple, and blue shirts. you saw lots of ripped jeans, some were their regular blue and others were white or black. you chose a light purple, short- sleeved shirt and a pair of dark-wash jeans. you found a pair of black panties and a black bra to match.

you went into the bathroom, turning the shower on and undressing. you put your dirty clothes in a near pile on the floor as you didn’t know where the hamper was. you set your clean clothes onto the bathroom sink, jumping into the shower.

the hot water felt so good, it was hard to get out, but you didn’t want to keep stefan waiting too long. you dried off quickly, looking at yourself in the mirror after you got dressed. you didn’t realize, but you were very dirty and tired-looking before showering. you looked better now. more awake, clean, and pretty.

you didn’t bother putting on makeup, not even knowing where you kept it. you went downstairs, finding stefan in the living room reading a book.

“i am ready,” you announced.

stefan looked up, jaw dropping as he looked over you.

“you look gorgeous,” he spoke.

you smiled shyly, lowering your head in bashfulness. “thank you. it’s not much, just a comfortable outfit.”

“doesn’t matter. you look amazing,” he shrugged.

“thank you, again.”

“of course,” he smiled. “let’s go ahead and go, yeah?”

you nodded, slipping on your shoes as you followed him out to the garage. you got into stefan’s car, driving back to town square.

“a lot of places have been built or torn down. i’m going to take you to the places we used to go to in this century, then go to the places from long ago that have been torn down,” he explained.

“sounds good,” you nodded.

he parked next to the strip mall, getting out and opening the door for you.

“are men still as chivalrous as you?” you jumped out of the car.

“no, not at all, but i like to be known as a gentleman. it sets a good first impression,” he answered.

“that’s sad,” you frowned. “it is. honestly, most guys nowadays are jerks and are selfish. no one teaches kindness anymore,” he sighed.

“well, i’m thankful i chose a man who still cares about those things. it really reflects on what kind of man you are.”

“i agree,” stefan nodded.

you two walked onto the side walk, stefan lacing your fingers together and guiding you into a store.

“this is your favorite store in the whole

town square. you always rave about the good deals and i’ve bought you lots of jewelry here,” he explained.

you hummed in reply, looking over the store. “it’s quaint. i see how it would appeal to me.”

“yeah, this store is the most popular one here, i’m pretty sure.”

“the owner must be rich, then.”

“probably is,” stefan nodded.

he then led you out of the store, explaining all the other stores and restaurants in the town square before stopping and showing you a specific place you liked.

“this is the grill, the most popular restaurant here. you and caroline, who you have yet to meet, love to sing karaoke here. you and bonnie and elena, who again, you have yet to meet, play pool here and get tipsy on the weekend.”

“what is karaoke and pool?” you questioned.

“karaoke is when you pick a song you like, and you sing it with a friend, or sometimes yourself. a lot of bars have karaoke, and some restaurants do, like this one. it’s just a fun activity for drunk people, honestly. and pool

is this game over there. you see those people

shooting the balls with the sticks?” he pointed across the room.

you studied them, seeing as they would curse in disappeared, or jump and clap in happiness.

“yes, it looks fun.”

“it is, and you’re quite good at it. maybe tomorrow you can meet everyone else and i’ll teach you how to play,” he suggested.

“i would like that very much,” you smiled.

“me, too,” he smiled back. “are you hungry? we can take a break from walking and get something to eat.”

“my stomach does ache a little. what kind of food do they have here?”

“burgers, fries, salad. classic american stuff, basically. i can order what you usually do.”

“sure, but i’m afraid to tell you that i have no money,” you sighed.

“it’s not a problem. this is my treat. plus, we have a joint bank account so, it doesn’t really matter who pays.””

“wow, that’s nice.”

“it definitely is.”

stefan then led you to a small booth, ordering immediately once the waiter came.

“tell me more about yourself,” you prompted.

stefan stared at you, not expecting you to want to know about him. it wasn’t completely surprising, but you just seemed a lot more interested in the town than him. he was happy that you asked, though. it reassured him that you two had a chance, even if you two had to rebuilt your relationship.

“okay, well, my birthday is november 1st, 1846. my favorite color is blue, my favorite type of alcohol is bourbon, but i do like a glass of whiskey every once in a while. one of my best friends was lexi branson. she was also your friend, too, but damon killed her for absolutely no reason.”

“oh, my - i am so sorry, stefan,” you gasped. “oh, it’s alright. damon has uh, since proved himself to be better… unfortunately,” stefan sighed.

you put your hand on his, looking him in the eyes.

“it’s not alright, stefan. i know you say damon is a lot better than people say, and that he has proven himself better, but that doesn’t justify what he did. i’m so sorry you lost lexi. i understand what it is it like to lose someone so close to you. i’m sure you remember, but i lost christopher only a few years after we became vampires. i don’t remember all of it, but i do remember terrorizing a whole village because of the anger and depression i felt. i’m sure lexi was an amazing young woman. one day, i would love it if you told me more about her.”

stefan smiled at you gratefully, eyes prickling with tears. “thank you, y/n. it means a lot to me. and yes, i’d love to tell you about her.”

“fantastic.” you squeezed his hand for support, the gesture warming his chest. “anyways, go on,” you said, keeping your hand on his.

“alright. well, i love i love lucy, which is a ‘50s sitcom that, funnily enough, you hated,” he chuckled.

“what is a sitcom and why did i hate it?” your brows knitted together in confusion.

“well, a sitcom is a comedy tv show. and a tv show is content that is broadcasted onto something that is called a television, which was the big black screen in the living room of our house. sitcom is a type of tv show. there are sitcoms, dramas, romance, horror, and lots of others. a lot of these genres bleed together, much like books. and as for why you hated the show, you just thought it was annoying because i would watch it all the time.”

“well, i do have a short temperament, so that explains it, i suppose. that tv show thing is a little confusing. can you show me how it works when we get home?”

“yes, of course. i can show you your favorite tv shows and movies,” he nodded eagerly.

“lovely,” you smiled at his enthusiasm. “so, what else do you like?”

“well, i am a fan of scorcese, who is a famous tv director. he directed taxi driver, which is a film i am a fan of. i love to cook, and i’m quite good at it, if i do say so myself. um, let’s see… what else is there…” he trailed off, looking at the table as he thought. “i am a bit or a hoarder, as you probably could see in our room. i enjoy any and all types of music, i have a rose tattoo on my right shoulder, and i am a scorpio, if that means anything to do.”

he looked back up at you, the tips of his ears turning pink as he realized you were staring and smiling at him the whole time.

“why’re you looking at me like that?” he asked.

“it’s just nice hearing all these things about you. i can piece together who you are, who the man i am married to is. it’s obvious you don’t open up to people a lot, and i appreciate you doing that with me,” you explained.

“oh, well, it’s no problem. you’ll remember all these things, anyways. but this is just surface level stuff, nothing special.”

“i think it is special and important. now that i know you a little better, i’m able to talk to you more and be more comfortable.”

“mm, that’s true,” he nodded.

you gave him a small smile, your food then arriving.

“wow, this is a lot,” you chuckled, looking at the cheeseburger and fries.

“it’s really good, too,” stefan said.

“how do i eat this?” you asked. “pick it up in your hands and take a bite, like this.” stefan took a bite of his burger and fries.

you followed in suit, groaning in pleasure.

“my, they never had this food at home. this is delicious.”

“i know, right? so glad america stopped the wine and beef soup at dinner.”

you giggled, nodding in agreement. you two ate in silence, stefan paying before you two left.

“do you want to continue going around town, or are you tired?” stefan asked.

“i want to continue,” you stated.

“alright. time to go to all the torn down places now,” he sighed, walking you back to his car.

you two drove a little ways away from town square, finding yourselves at the cemetery.

“are anna, christoper, and my mother buried here?” you asked.

“yes, they are. do you want to see their graves?” stefan asked.

you sat in the car for a few moments, holding your seatbelt in thought. you shook your head as an answer.

“no, i would hate to put a damper on this lovely evening.”

“oh, well, it’s okay. you always manage to make things bright and happy, even when we’re visiting the cemetery, but if you really don’t want to, then i’ll take you to the salvatore estate, and where your house was located.”

“mm, i am sure. we can visit some other time,” you smiled.

he returned the expression. “alright.” he got out, going to open the door for you, but you had already jumped out.

“sorry, i um, wanted to see how the door works,” you admitted sheepishly.

stefan grinned, finding your curiosity adorable. “no worries. ready to go?”

“indeed i am,” you nodded.

you took the initiative and laced your fingers with his. stefan glanced at you, his chest swelling with joy. it was almost like old times.

“so, where is the salvatore estate?” you asked.

“it’s just a mile into the woods. there’s only a singular pillar there because it got torn down, but the pillar marks the spot where the house stood.”

“why did it get torn down? it was such a beautiful home. surely someone from these days would want to live in it,” you frowned.

“you’d think that, but i guess folks these days want something more modern. but, wait, do you remember my house?” hope filled his eyes, carrying all the way through his voice.

“i think i do. it seems… familiar in my mind. i remember the front of the house, the beautiful entrance and the pretty rose bushes, the steps that led up to the door. i remember a room… it was of medium size. there was a big bed in the middle, a deep-sea blue carpet under it. there was a bug mirror across from the bed, a painting or two hung up on the walls. there was a small desk in the corner next to the closet. the room is very empty, but it brings back feelings of warmth and calmness.”

“yeah, that was my room. you spent most of your summer’s in there with me.”

“oh,” your eyes lit up. “you said that we didn’t officially get together until after we were vampires, but i remember being in the bed in lots of white, button-up shirts. did we-?” you looked to him, eyes wide and hoping he would say yes.

his cheeks were tainted pink as he nodded. “yes, we had lots of fun nights, but not all of them consisted of sex.”

“i see,” you nodded, a little smile on your face. “what else did we do besides sleep together, then?”

“well, most times we just laid there in each other’s arms. sometimes i would read to you and you would fall asleep in my arms. other times we danced, sang, talked about the future together. and let me tell you, we definitely did not imagine an eternity together, but i’m really glad it turned out that way. despite all the pain we suffered.”

your chest warmed as you imagine you two in the 1800s, doing more and being more than just friends with intimate relations.

“does damon know of this?” you questioned.

“he does, but no one else doesn’t. to make things easier, we just told everyone that we started dating after we became vampires, and that we got married in 1963, which we did.”

“and how was the wedding?” you asked.

“the best night of my life,” he grinned. “we have lots of pictures of that night in the living room and our room, which i will show you when we get back.”

“i can’t wait,” you smiled giddily.

you squeezed stefan’s hand, the gesture making both of your body’s shiver.

“here it is,” he said, taking you closer to the singular pillar.

you let go of his hand slowly, walking around the property. you closed your eyes, feeling the cool breeze fan your face. you stood in the middle, right where the living room be. lots of memories then flooded back to you, making you snap your eyes open.

“your father didn’t like us together,” you stated.

stefan furrowed his brows. “yes, how-how do you know that?”

you didn’t answer him, continuing to reminisce.

“i was meant to wed damon, yet, i fell in love with you. your mother would let us play together, knowing that the fate your father decided wasn’t going to happen. she accepted us. she actually liked us better together than damon and i. she thought damon was too wild, too untamed to settle down so young. he was like her, in that way. but you, once you saw me at our first ball at age 14, you knew i was the one. i remember you telling me this one night on my sixteenth birthday. you had taken me up to your room, sneaking up extra cake for me, and we laid together on your bed. that was both of our first time that night - it was amazing. you told me before we went to bed about your growing feelings for me. that night we both said ‘i love you’ for the first time.”

stefan stared at you, mouth agape and tears welling in his eyes.

“you-you really remember that?”

“i do,” you smiled slowly at him. “i remember the marks you left on my skin, the joy i felt as you held my hand, the way i cried when you told me that you loved me. i-i’m afraid that this is all i remember, but -“

“no, no, it’s enough. it’s more than enough,” he sniffled, coming closer to you. he slipped his hand into yours, his other hand wrapping around your waist.

you smiled, putting your free hand on his cheek, rubbing your thumb up and down on his cheekbones. you looked into his eyes, studying his face as your hand went up and ran itself through his hair. you brought your hand back down to cup his cheek, your fingers dancing along his jawline.

“i also remember skipping school, playing football in the backyard, me wearing your shirt for the first time and it leading to us sleeping together again,” you giggled.

“how do you remember all of this?” he asked.

“the travelers must’ve just took all the important information about us, which we can deal with later. i want to enjoy this moment now,” you breathed out.

“thank god that they took that important stuff. it’s not that important once you think about it,” he nodded.

“i agree. i bet damon wouldn’t agree about that, though,” you joked.

“well, damon has never been madly in love until the last couple of years. but, me? i’m been in love with you forever.”

your lips spread widely and you looked deeply into his eyes, feeling yourself falling for him again.

“i love you,” you exhaled. stefan grinned, “i love you more.”

“nu-uh,” you shook your head. “mmhm,” he smirked.

you moved in closer, your nose bumping his softly. your eyes flickered down from his eyes to his lips multiple times before closing the gap. your lips met his in slow motion, immediately moving with his. his lips were soft and kissed you well, like he had done this a million times before, and couldn’t wait to do it again. he held you close against him, breathing in deeply at the taste of your lips. he felt at peace once again, whole and complete. and as for you, you felt alive.

every atom in your body was humming in pleasure. the feeling of his hands in your body, fitting right in with your curves, were like finally finishing a puzzle. it gave you butterflies, the way he tasted and smelled. the way he kissed you was delicious. it was gentle, but passionate. his lips worked against yours quickly, his tongue sliding against yours, eliciting a small moan from your throat. your teeth bumped each other gently, causing the kiss to then become fast, needy, hot.

you pulled away before anything else could commence, your chest heaving up and down. a line of spit broke off from your lips, breaking off as the breeze ran through it.

“remember anything else now?” stefan breathed out.

“just how much i’ve missed you,” you stated.

“i’ve missed you, too, baby. wanna go and see where old home was now?”

“yes, i’d love that,” you nodded. “great. come and follow me, then we can go home and i’ll make you your favorite meal, okay?” he suggested.

“that sounds amazing.”

“i’m so glad to have you back, y/n,” he squeezed your hand.

“i’m glad to be back.”

————

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tagged by @minatodilf ty Ash 👌👌

What was your last

Drink: just plain water

Last phone call: my dad (I'm not big on phone calls so only my parents really call me normally)

Last text: telling @vulturousculturalist to go to sleep because it was 1am and I'm the responsible friend uwu. if discord messages don't count then I was texting one of my friends calling Zero from megaman a himbo at like 5am

Last song you listened to: Kansas by Gorillaz

Last time you cried: a few days ago I think

Have you ever dated someone: nope! being a small town dyke that goes to a catholic school unfortunately doesn't give me many dating prospects 😅

Been cheated on: nah

Kissed someone and regretted it: I don't think so actually, I once kissed a friend and it was,,,,a lil weird and we're not actually friends anymore (unrelated) and I don't like her but,,,,it was just something that happened I guess

Lost someone special: not really

Been drunk and thrown up: never been drunk! I never drink enough to make me more than just a lil tipsy

List three fave colors: black green and purple

In the last year have you…

Made a new friend: yeah!

Fallen out of love: nope

Laughed until you cried: many times, I laugh at things really easily

Met someone that changed you: I have no sense of self so maybe lmao

Found out who your true friends are: haha yeah. it was fun having an "intervention" staged about me being "unnecessarily rude to everyone and unable to make friends" when I reported a kid for harassing my other friend and making sexist and racist comments. needless to say the person who did that's not my fuckin friend anymore

Found out someone was talking about you: hahaha.

Kissed someone on your FB friends list: don't have facebook

General

How many people on your FB friends list do you know irl: don't have facebook

Do you have any pets: unfortunately no though I adore all kinds of animals. I do lay somewhat of a claim to my friend's cat because she actually apparently likes me better than the people who live with her lmao (take that Lorna!)

Do you want to change your name: hmmm i don't think so tbh, I was thinking of going by a shortening of my middle name (Louise -> Lou) occasionally but idk lmao

What did you do for your last birthday: I don't think I've actually done anything for my birthday since I was like 10. I was gonna meet up with a few friends last year but coincidentally there was a school trip the same day and we got stuck in traffic on the way back so I couldn't do that :/

What time did you wake up today: about 4am. I went to sleep just after midnight and woke up four hours later unable to go back to sleep. I'm out of school for the summer but I've still been instinctively waking up at around the time I'd get up for school anyway but today just took the biscuit and woke me two hours before that

What were you doing at midnight last night: watching the snapcube Sonic 06 fandub

Name something you CANNOT wait for: uhhhhhhhh idk tbh. something will probably come to me immediately after I post this though

Last time you saw your mother: saw her like an hour ago

What is one thing you wish you could change about life: not to be stereotypical but money probably. my family's kinda in deep shit atm because we're paying out our arses to keep my grandma in the care home she's at bc we can't take care of her but that costs a serious amount of money so we don't have too much left for other stuff and it's just a tad Worrying

What are you listening to right now: I've got Gorillaz on shuffle on spotify and I can also kinda hear the rain outside

Have you ever talked to a person with the name Tom: unfortunately yes.

What’s getting on your nerves: thinking about my exam results that I'm not gonna get back until the end of August that decide my academic path for at least the next two years

Most visited website: YouTube and Tumblr

Nickname: not too many people call me nicknames anymore but cookie and amy-lou are what people used to call me (still do occasionally)

Relationship status: single

Zodiac sign: libra (+ aquarius moon and rising)

Pronouns: she/her or they/them + I also go by he/him in my head sometimes.....indecisive

Fave tv shows: I don't watch too much TV but uhhh recently I watched good omens and lucifer they were alright

Hair color: brown but I used to be super blonde when I was little. I'm also hopefully dyeing it soon, probably purple

Long or short: I prefer having my hair short and I've gone through cycles of long hair to short hair through my life lmao. the current short hair has stayed for three years so far though so thats A New Record

Height: 5'3

Do you have a crush on someone: idk tbh

What do you like about yourself: uh. despite being a major dumbass I'm actually quite clever and I like that I can help people with that. when I'm not hiding them behind my glasses or fringe I get complimented on my eyes occasionally so that's a nice physical thing. oh and also being gay as hell yeehaw

Tattoos: I don't have any but I'd kinda maybe want a simple one in the future

Righty or Lefty: righty

First surgery: never had one. I've never even fractured a bone somehow

First piercing: not actually got any piercings yet....my mum always said no piercings until I was 18 but I'm working on getting my ears pierced this summer

First best friend: this (only) girl I was friends with in like year 1 and 2. she left school after that and I never saw her again, Elizabeth if you're out there....

First sport you joined: ballet! I've been doing it for over a decade now lmao I'm almost at the point where I could become a qualified teacher if I wanted to (cue identity crisis over what I want out of life)

First pair of trainers: why??

Right now

Eating: toast

Drinking: woter

Listening to: this question has been asked three times now lmao, Gorillaz on Spotify

Want kids: probably not

Career: I want to be a translator or smth like that

Which is better:

Lips or eyes: eyes

Hugs or kissed: hugs

Shorter or taller: don't mind

Romantic or spontaneous: romantic

Nice stomach or nice arms: Arms For Hugging

Sensitive or loud: sensitive probably

Hook up or relationship: relationship definitely

Troublemaker or hesitant: hmmmm idk

Have you ever:

Kissed a stranger: nope

Drank hard liquor: nope

Lost glasses/contacts: fuckin constantly

Sex on a first date: nope

Broke someone’s heart: uh maybe? there was this one kid that seemed to have been really into me for a while that I turned down when we were like 14 (sorry Jamie lmao but you were instrumental in me figuring out I didn't like dudes so thanks mate)

Had your own heart broken: nah

Been arrested: never

Turned someone down: yea

Cried when someone died: yea

Fallen for a friend: unfortunately lol potentially multiple times but I'm still a disaster who can't differentiate between strong romantic and platonic feelings wassup

Do you believe in:

Yourself: eh they're alright occasionally

Miracles: nope

Love at first sight: not really

Santa Claus: nope. not sure if my parents ever bothered that much keeping it secret that he wasn't real

Kiss on the first date: sure why not

Angels: nah

i tag: (only if you wanna do it since this is super long) @vulturousculturalist @jothriku @comicsansisasin + anyone who wants to do it. I'm not tagging too many people since this is A Lot and it seems like other people are already doing this stuff atm, have a fun tuesday

[magtitude]

New fun things about the Mun.

Repost with your answers!

One  ||  Your Middle name – Louise Two || Shoe size – UK Size 6 or 7 Three || Bangles or beaded bracelets? – bracelets! hoogh Four  || Size/Shape of your nails – way too short :B Five || Weird habit – uh idk? i just asked my brother and he said i make weird noises so that counts i guess ( bc i do make weird noises lmao ) Six || Did you know that having 6 fingers is actually a dominant trait in human genes? – licherally thought it was the other way around :0 ur telling me Five Fingers is a recessive trait? wtf science is nuts Seven || Sciences or Humanities? – humanities, i suppose? only bc i feel Smorter in humanities than in sciences uwu Eight || Visual, auditory or physical learner? – visual and physical! auditory’s no good i retain Nothing Nine || Describe your favorite pair of shoes – pair of plain black ankle boots with a bit of heel and fake but decorative! zippers (and proper zippers in plain black). i think they’re wearing away tho so 😔 Ten || What’s in your wallet right now? – the usual stuff i guess? bank card, library card, some old bus passes & bus tickets, a loyalty card? for matalan, another loyalty/points card for co-op, old train ticket, money, a thing from st johns beacon, some old raffle tickets Eleven || Favorite non-natural hair color – bright red. very sexy Twelve || Do you know your neighbors’ names? – yee! except for my neighbours’ kids names on the right of us; i even know my neighbour-but-one’s names too :0 but only bc she’s so nosy lol Thirteen || Favorite breakfast food – cereal... been like that since Toddler, so Fourteen || Do you talk to animals in a weird voice? – i guess? i don’t think it’s weird but other people might but. who gives a Ƒüçķ -- there is a cat on my street i sometimes talk to tho and she always recognises me and i go hello pretty kitty :3 i lov her Fifteen || Name that one show that is really not your style of show but you watched anyway and loved – god i don’t know ? i don’t usually watch things that aren’t my style. also i don’t remember agshtsjdkfy :’) i don’t watch shows that often anyway, aaa

Tagged by: i stole it from @mtchstck uwu Tagging: nyall @repulsd @endurcandsurvive @riverdivined @riisingfromashes @whiskydeputy @whitetail-wheaty @ Ev e r y o n e >:3c

[softethan]

Idk but I would love to see you write something for grames about James new tweet

For reference:

But oh my god have you been looking at mine and Louise and nic’s gc bc that was literally the last thing I sent her. anyway here you go anon.

||||||||||

James threw his phone against the bed with a frustrated sigh. He’d thought things were going well with this new guy: he was cute, honest, so smart, showed an interest in James’ career— until he’d gotten a text that had changed all of that.

Hi, J. I’m sorry, I just got to thinking last night and we’re not gonna work out. You’re so loud and you love to be into everything and I can’t date someone in the public eye. I’m not ready for it. Wish you the best.

Which, fuck him for leading James on and making James think they had even a slither of a hope together. They always did this. They loved the fame, the money, the promise of prestige, but the first time James actually had to work everything went to shit.

He grabbed his phone again and sent out a tweet, not even bothering to read it before he was pressing the blue button. He hugged his knees to his chest and shoved his face between his knees and cried.

James’ phone was bursting with notifications when he finally got up the will-power to climb out of bed and start his routine. He didn’t bother checking it right off, knowing there would be the usual “you deserve it,” tweets and comments thrown at him. He wanted to be at home, with Drew and a pint of ice cream but he had to work— he always had work.

He heard Linda’s text tone and grabbed his phone from the dresser. James started to reply when a familiar name crossed the screen and he smiled, exiting out of Linda’s contact and into Grayson’s.

i never liked his bitchass anyway

Which, who would have thought that Grayson would be the one person James could always count on to tell him how shitty the guys he dated were.

James’ face crooked into a smile and his fingers were clicking away on the keys almost immediately.

I don’t think I did either

When will you be home?

Tuesday

James twirled the phone between his fingers and waited for Grayson to answer back. Why was he even up at this absolutely ungodly hour (he’d never understand how the boy went to sleep at 8 and woke up even earlier)?

let us take you out

gray I really don’t want to do that

then just come hang out with us. We haven’t seen you in like a year james

You saw me two weeks ago, Grayson

Best two weeks of my life, honestly

GRAY

just kidding. But really. Come hang out. I miss you.

Fine, fine. I’ve gotta go Gray. I’ll see you when I get home

And if James caught himself smiling and much happier than he’d been before, that wasn’t anyone’s business but his.

||||||||

James tugged his luggage into his house and yelped (screamed) when he say Grayson sitting on his couch with a shit eating grin plastered on his face.

“Hi.”

“What the hell, Grayson!”

“I wanted to surprise you. E and Emma are off doing who knows what, and I was bored and Ian was home and then I just decided to stay until you came home so—“ all of this was one breath and faster than James had ever heard him talk and it sounded partially made up but James was too tired to really care about anything at all.

“I was really hoping to get some sleep, Gray.” Which was true. Partially. He wanted to get at least an hour or two before Henry came by to pick up the few shirts he’d left before he’d broken James’ heart.

“That’s okay. I’ll just hang out down here. I was in the middle of a game anyway.” James lip quirked into a smile and he shook his head fondly.

“Go home, Gray. I’m just gonna sleep until Henry gets here to get his things and then I’m going back to bed.” He was exasperated, frustrated, and he didn’t want to explain (didn’t need to explain) to Grayson why James was so hell bent on him going home.

“He’s coming by here?”

And honestly, what else should he have expected from Grayson.

“Just to grab some clothes he left after he spent the night.”

“He spent the night?” Grayson tone rose and he quirked an eyebrow and he was nearly off the couch completely when the doorbell rang.

“I’ll get it,” James responded, thankful for the break in a conversation Grayson had no business starting.

The door swung open and Henry stood outside, a small duffle unzipped and ready.

“I, uh. I figured I’d just let you do it,” he explained as he handed James the bag. James mouth hung open and he looked at Henry confused and exasperated at the man’s ignorance.

“Why don’t you take the clothes James has ready for you and leave?” Grayson’s voice came from behind James’ ear and a protective hand rested on the small of his back.

Henry didn’t need much more warning, considering Grayson had a good 4 inches on him and at least 100 pounds.

When the door closed and James could relax, he swatted at Grayson’s chest.

“You asshole! You scared him,” he squealed, his tone playful and thankful.

“I can’t believe he was gonna make you pack it,” Grayson chuckled as he plopped down beside James on the couch. His arm rested lightly behind James head and his thigh touched James’ knees where they were crossed.

Their laughter died down and Grayson glanced over at James.

“I’m sorry I butted in, J.”

“No, it’s fine! He was an asshole and he deserved to pack his own clothes.”

“No, J. I, uh, I told him to break up with you.”

The house was quiet save for the washing machine going in the garage and Ian’s clicking and tapping coming from upstairs.

“You what?” James’ words hissed through his teeth and his eyebrows furrowed.

“Thursday morning I text him and— and asked him if he was going to be okay with us hanging out now and— James, he wasn’t a good guy.” Grayson fished desperately for a reasoning to what he’d done to keep James from having someone who cared about him, finally.

“So you’re telling me, that the one guy I’ve found who I actually really liked and who really liked me — Grayson, you told him to dump me?” James was seething. He crawled off the couch and stood up to pace in front of Grayson.

“James, I never told him to break up with you, that was all on him. But — But I didn’t discourage it either and I — James, I’m sorry,” Grayson murmured. “I told him we were filming a collab with you and asked if he’d help because it was a surprise and he— James he pretty much said if E and I filmed with you he wouldn’t keep dating you.”

James was quiet for a long time. Eventually he sat down beside Grayson and thought, long and hard, about what this meant.

“And you told him?”

“That you’d never give up your friends for a guy.”

“You’re right.”

“I know.”

“Sometimes you know me better than I know myself.”

“That happens when you love someone.”

A long pause as they registered the confession Grayson had just slipped out.

“What?” James whispered, quieter than he’d been in months. His voice was small and hopeful.

“When you love someone,” Grayson cleared his throat and tried to gather up the courage to say what he wanted to. “You do strange things for them because you know them better than they do.” Grayson sat up straight and watched for James’ reaction, cracking a smile when James realized what Grayson had said.

“You do?”

“Yeah.”

“Kiss me?”

“Absolutely.”

[schaumcns-blog]

literally james’ and my expression 25/8 but anywho, hello everyone ! i’m antonea, literally a trash can for armand douglas hammer and i prefer she/they pronouns ! i said i was gonna give up rich kids rps but look where i am. me ? a fake ! a phony ! a hack ! but ofc i’m playing kendall bc i can’t resist and i gotta put these 800+ snap icons to good use but anyway, i’m happy to introduce my angel baby james !

james is swedish-american ! she grew up in sweden for about four years before she and her family moved to the states. they didn’t move directly to beverly hills, though. they lived in boca raton and then in chicago for a little bit before finally settling down in beverly hills when she was about eleven years old. i kid you not, that’s when she became a us citizen. she had a green card, but she just went ahead and did it instead of waiting until the green card expired.

growing up, james’ dads jeremiah and christian raised her to be genderless or agender. they dressed her in gender neutral and unisex clothing, as they wanted her to pick which gender she identified with the most. obviously as a kid she was fine with it, but when she reached the age of eight, she knew that she preferred to be called a girl and her parents respected that. from then on, she wore traditionally female clothing and identifies with the pronouns she/they.

her parents have an architecture and real estate company that they own together called sebastian & wolfe ( named after james’ middle name and her younger brother sebastian ) where they essentially buy property, build a home and sell it. or, they purchase a home, flip it, and relist it on the market with the new renovations and such. they’ve been working on this company for years, so it has grown and is now worth $375M. 

because i’m #extra, the family home is HERE and her home is HERE

james has known since she was little that music is what she wanted to do. she plays the piano and guitar, and her voice claim is a mix of sabrina claudio, louise johnson, and pia mia. so, she majored in music industry ( which is apparently a real major at usc ) which helped get her foot in the door, but she has to deal with a couple of obstacles, where people don’t want to take her seriously because she’s a rich kid trying to enter such a competitive field. she graduated last year and has been working on an album ever since then. at the moment, james is independent, and she’ll probably end up staying that way.

anyways, james’ label is THE RETICENT because she’s not really open about how she feels. instead of talking, she likes to drink, and sometimes even that can get her into trouble. it’s also because she unfortunately had a trash af girlfriend for about a year. so, james has a band called james and the wolves. it’s mostly made up of people that she met at usc, including her ex girlfriend. things were really good in the beginning for them, their bandmates liked them together and she was james’ first girlfriend ( and her first love ) so she was completely head over heels.

after about six months, her girlfriend started changing. the band was doing little gigs here and there, nothing too fancy, so after the shows they would linger around and talk to the people who wanted to talk to them. whenever james stopped to talk, her girlfriend would always find a reason to flip out, and it was mostly because she was jealous. in a sense, james was the face of the band, and she of course, gained a little more attention than everyone else, but she didn’t act as such.

however, her girlfriend would, and it always led to them arguing all the time and sometimes rehearsals weren’t going well because her ex was always accusing her of something crazy. ( like once for a gig james wore this dress that showed a little leg and she got mad bc she thought james was trying to get attention from one of the girls in the front row smh ) and it kind of didn’t sit well that james is bisexual and proud of it, so idk her girlfriend was just an overall mess.

james, being a nut, didn’t break up with her and they were together for about a year and a half with their other bandmates telling james to leave. she finally did and honestly she doesn’t want to open herself up to anyone else. she’s afraid that they’re going to treat her the same way and she doesn’t want to go through that again, so she prefers to just keep it all to herself.

that’s pretty much it?? i suck at intros buT you can read her connections here, the statistics here, and you can look at her pinterest here ! pls give me all the plots i want them all break my heart warm my heart, and love me til i die ! 

[survivorelara]

Episode #6: “"NOT ANYMOOOOOOOOOOOOOORE" - Big Z

Even though I misplayed my idol, I cannot believe that my incessant need for wanting Toby gone actually fucking worked. Like. I will be taking the credit for this one because I just fed it to my peoples and had Loris know about it and just controlled his emotional vulnerability. I would have been good without having the idol either... so wig- I fucked up on that end but WOWZA it feels good to actually lead a vote, see the vote go the way you want, and have my target argue with someone who HE thinks started this revolution. Hehehehhehee

bruh im getting major Byzantium teas right now... where my og tribe gets decimated and only two of us actually make it to the merge. right now theres only 3 of us left and just like then if only 2 of us make merge we're gonna start off as swing votes, then everyone will target us.  please don't let that happen Byzantium wasn't my greatest org experience

LMAO SO DANI THINKS WE ARE DEAD TO HER BECAUSE WE BLINDSIDED HER AT THE LOUISE VOTE? poor girl. you're playing a vivor org, get over yourself. you better pray to GOD we don't lose or that you have an idol... because your ass is done otherwise. one way or another, like I said before, only 2 zosma's max are making merge lmao…

In the middle of the challenge, so this confessional will have to be brief. I can definitely WIN this challenge, but I do question if that's the best for my game. The other tribe had a unanimous 6-1 vote, so now it's an even 3-3 split over there.

If we win, it's possible that either they'll go to rocks, or one of the Revati's will flip to save themselves? (Because it's unlikely the Auva are dumb enough to flip on one-another since that'd give us majority in the merge.)

However our tribe is currently a 3-2-2 split, and while I don't THINK the two sets of two are working together, I can't eliminate the possibility that they'd gang up on us to eliminate one of us and evening the numbers for the merge.

It's difficult to say where this whole tribe will end up shaking down, but I'm hoping to avoid Tribal if I can help it. The less Tribal Councils I go to, the more options I have going into merge because I won't have necessarily hurt any feelings by voting a particular way.

Well, I crushed the challenge, scoring all 5 points on my tribe, everyone was talking about how I carried them... which already has me worried given my history of being labelled a challenge beast after only having one good challenge.

But at the very least no tribal, I'm curious if we'll be merging at 12 or if it'll be some other number. Guess I'll know soon enough, but it's nice to have a break for a bit, and I think I'm doing pretty well on bonding with others so as to better my position.

Dylan still never talks to me. So ideally he'll be gone soonish, either by us losing the next challenge or him serving as an early merge boot. But even if he sticks around I doubt it'll be a major problem.

MY HOPE, for the other tribe is to send home Drew or Roxy (preferably Drew since I know Roxy and can work with that I think), to split up that Power-Pair as Drew was a fool for spoiling that. I don't really care who goes so long as the Revati's stay, and if we DO lose

Now if I could just find a damn idol... or SOMETHING.

HELLO LITTLE MIX AND NICKI ARE COLLABING I REPREARJT  HHHHHH THEYRE COLLABBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBING!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Jack Lawrence is so nice and so pretty. I would die for Jack. I would cry for Jsck. I will climb a mountain- and I hate walking. oh thats climbing I hate that too. Jack is nice Jack is kind. I shit on the Jack haters. He is just perfect. He could do nothing and still be thebest non-lead host. (Ya AJ shuttup) Anna Jane is PERFECTION. Erik is cutie she is cutie and I love AJ n Erik. She is hot and if I was gay i'd fuck. She is good listener and perfect and beautiful andeveryone get u a friend like AJ bc she is a BIG ASS MOOD in my life like stop being so perfect thanks

Sometimes I get confused about which day we’re on, so hopefully it’s day 14 lmao. The other tribe snatched Toby & I’m not surprised. Auva didn’t just make a mistake that will hinder themselves, but it will also affect what’s left of og Zosma. The Auvacados could’ve worked with Toby to start taking down Revati, but it would seem that they’re still out for vengeance. Toby was setup to be in a swing position, of course he’s gonna feel out both sides before choosing one. Now Auva is split with 3 on each side & I don’t see any of them flipping, unless og Auva is gullible again. Drew T. didn’t trust Revati either because he wasted an idol on himself even though Toby voted in favor of him. Flops.

Kori is legitimately a godsend. He c a r r i e d Revati in the challenge by scoring all 5 points that we needed to win. He says that he focused hard & waited for the messages to pop up which mind you were separated by intervals of several minutes in the span of 4 hours. Kori is a very humble dude & tries to downplay his capabilities, but he’s the GOAT. Maybe even the shield I needed. :O

I’m not too worried about Dani at this point in time. If Revati happens to lose then she would probably be the easiest to turn people against. Everyone participated in the music video challenge while she was the only one that did not, and she has a habit of sitting out. Sam told me that she hasn’t talked to him since the day we blindsided Louise & I’ve gotten the same treatment. Since I’m “dead to her”, I think that making a move against Dani pre-merge would benefit me in the long run. This would also change everyone’s perception of Sam and I to being non-threatening come merge as we don’t have the number

tea time sisters! toby was a king but was a threat and I have to see the benefits in him going. this tribal is going to be eventful I think... because I think I’m getting votes because roxy seems to really want me gone??? but i have a plan that I think will work :))))) I tell John to vote out drew t or roxy and I say that I know he doesn’t really want to vote out drew h so I’ll settle and sacrifice for drew t. if he’s fine with voting roxy then I tell him that I think I can get drew t to vote her too, and then we can vote him out next, when in reality we’ll vote out drew h next. if he wants to vote drew t now then I tell him me and z will do it too when hopefully z will vote out roxy with me and drew t instead because roxy is trying to get one of us out. ezpz . In fact we could even vote drew h. it’s all tea. I really hope z and John are loyal to me, I think z will be, and I think I can just play with me saying I trust you to John over and over. cute!!!! I stay winning... I can’t believe that I .. actually have a plan... that’s t it’s so easy idk why I couldn’t do this before my mind is just so powerful now? also auva idol is GONE and that’s fantastic and also I got legacy bitches!!!! only 7 more bitches need to go then I can use it :)

Soooooo half of this tribe is just completely inactive during the most important hours of this game prior to tribal. It’s SO FRUSTRATING because even if I want to make some sort of strategy with them it’ll take them at least 2-3 hours to reply to me. I cannot do this for too long. The other issue is that people are sooooo hesitant to throw names out, and when you do throw a name out literally EVERYONE hears that you started it and it gets turned on you. That happened to me when I said John’s name once to Roxy last tribal. I worry it’s about to happen to Loris suggesting Roxy too. We’ll see how it plays out, if I end up dying I’ll at least go on an active note rather than an inactive one.

THERE ARE TWO HOURS UNTIL TRIBAL AND LORIS IS THE ONLY ONE HERE

Whew another tribal and everyone is like absent again!? Wow we love productivity! Trademarked by the Celestial ORG! Please, come buy some productivity!

I hope we merge soon. My goal is to make it to merge without going to tribal. Idk how my tribe would pan out, we got a few inactive asf people. I dont have an idol but I really want one . tbh I'm so glad I took my break bc I'm not focused on winning im just focused on enjoying myself and my game while it lasts and I feel like its significantly improved my game.

Okay so Loris isn't talking to me but he's talking to other people so I'm being TOLD they're going for Roxy but I don't really believe it, I think if an idol is played, I'm dying courtesy of him and Z. Just gotta keep the faith in my people tbh

We doin big z vut doing loris kihhtve been better cause of her connections vut my nothing much I can do. I dint Rlly like the mrtge we r hesding into we r hella in minority

sometimes i forget im playing a org because all we do is win oh i got an idol btw hihihi

Honestly I am happy Toby went. HE WAS A BITCH! He wanted me out the the first round. Now to get Sam and Ciere out next. Expect Tea motherfuckers. Anyways, literally I have not talked a lot. I have gotten to know Kori. He is a shady fuck, I know that from past experience but I need him. I talked to Emma or Emmy or whatever the fuck her name is too. She seems really sweet.

ok so I think me and Ci'ere are bonding, which wow I never imagined that I would have a social game. I still haven't messaged Dani or Kori which is something I should do. The fact that they haven't messaged me, coupled with the fact that I'm alone on this tribe cements the fact that I am the obvious vote. Brb let me try to make connections.

SO we lost again, and my broken phone prevented me from participating in the challenge. Looking at this based on the challenge I should be leaving, buuuut I am going to be voting big Z out tonight, and because the auvas don't want rocks, they are going to do what I want. I have wanted this guy out from a game standpoint from the very beginning, but once you throw my name out there it's very hard to get back on my good side. Loris is going to be annoyed with me I am sure, he was trying to manipulate the situation between us but I could see right through the whole thing. I had a call with Roxy and she made an alliance with us and the two drews. She seemed to be worried that I would want to stick with loris and Z but I knew immediately what I wanted to do. I am really hoping that a merge will happen next, and that this move will not deeply affect me right away.

Big Z is voted out 4-2.

[survivorelara]

Episode #3: “This tribe can literally suck my left nut.” - Toby

Well after goofing my confessional days (sorry hosts who have to figure that one out.) I got an alliance chat together so that we can communicate without goofing up the challenge the only downside is that we haven't started yet due to nobody being on. (The sucky thing of people having different timezones.)

I'm hoping we can pull another win out of this challenge, I'm trying to just keep things casual overall, I can't exactly start making big moves or anything out of the gate. (Making this 4-man alliance is as big as it's gonna get for now.)

Just gotta stay low, do my part in challenges, and work social magic on people... ew did I really try to tell myself that I have social magic?

I feel like a loser. Even though I was saved. I can be stubborn sometimes and it makes me look bad. I hate that.

ok I started writing this yesterday.... and then forgot to send it... anyways hi this games going pretty good still? we havent gone to tribal and i really think I have some good allies on my tribe. also legacy woo!!!! I’m a bit overwhelmed with work irl but as always I’m going to ignore it

RoxyToday at 3:54 PM 201 202 203 304 RoxyToday at 3:54 PM 201 202 203 304 RoxyToday at 3:54 PM 201 202 203 304 RoxyToday at 3:54 PM 201 202 203 304 RoxyToday at 3:54 PM 201 202 203 304 RoxyToday at 3:54 PM 201 202 203 304

oh? you want to hear about my master strategy? the one where i vote for odd instead of logan? well, it's actually a really complicated plan that involves: 1. voting early because i was about to go into a really long class that i cant use my phone in 2. that's it.   this is only the FIRST step that leads to me skillfully placing myself in the FTC where i win by a vote of 8-0-0.

Me? Sabotaging a challenge?? For a joint tribal council???

It's more likely than you think.

hi.......... so immunity challenge isn't going too well... half of our 24 hours is up and we're on 67. i mean that's mainly because no one was awake when i was so i really expect everyone to be popping off when im sleeping.... i don't want to go to tribal at all (even less than if it were to just be our tribe going to tribal, despite us having the numbers) because i can see this flipping on us somehow... or an idol being played or some shiz. hopefully,,,,,,,,, the other losing tribe if we go really aren't close and don't have our ~incredible~ group morale so the chance of an idol being played is minimised.... i can't really do anything rn except be optimistic and help with immunity but no one is on! ughhhhh if i dont get to play my legacy myself im gonna be s0000000 sad. i think if i go i'll give it to andrea bc i mean i knew louise beforehand but it isn't that fair to give it her because of pre-existing relationships... and andrea's a queen so.

Well we got into the challenge a little late unfortunately. I'm also worried I might be acting more... leaderly than I wanted to coming in, but hopefully I'm garnering more respect and appreciation rather than Oh, he's bossy, or Oh, he's good at this he's a threat, etc etc.

Ideally we wanna avoid that double tribal, but if we go then we'll just hopefully stay 6 strong, because I mean if we don't that means our tribe has a snake, which would suck.

I'm hoping to keep my, overall casually gameplay up, though my social game is lacking a bit, if I talk a bit more with people I think I'll be able to get people on board the Kori train.

We are currently at 420 as a score and I kinda hope it stays that way lawllll I doubt we are going to win but I honestly wouldn't mind some excitement as far as a tribal council will go. If we lose we will have 6 going against whatever other tribe we are againsts 5. So I wouldn't by any means say this is being thrown because we have all been trying however nobody has really been panicking today which is fun. I have really enjoyed talking with Big Z as we have been getting these numbers in together the last few hours, and am hoping if we swap together we will have a good connection going forward. I want to make everyone feel good and comfortable working with me

A combined tribal council... I really don't know how to feel. I'm already set for tribal council tonight, but I just want to know who will be attending alongside us. Like, its just something that is so defeatist and shit, but like if you fuck up on 203 out of all numbers and its just you and one other person... that's concerning.

Like that is my mood when I woke up. We lost at the number 203. Probably the other tribes are in the high 1000s and idk. I'm just begging for the worst at this point.

I take it back. No one cleared 500. That's just pathetic. Truly, it is.

Wow we were trash and now we have to vote someone out if it’s me I’m gonna 🔫🔫🔫🔫 everyone before I leave they’re all getting super soaked

FUCK BITCH! We're going to tribal with the other damn tribe. FUCK! No idea what's going to take place lol. Maybe if I keep a low profile I might be safe. IDK if being under the radar is such a good thing. I haven't played like this in a while. But if something happens I might snap.

THE STREAK CONTINUES

Although tbh I'm getting kind of bored with all of the nothing happening in our tribe so hopefully something interesting or exciting happens soon

https://youtu.be/tIiYdEMW6Dg

No idea what's gonna happen, and based on the vague implications, I think we might be seeing a swap of some kind perhaps of 2 tribes of 7 plus one person exiled.

ALTERNATIVELY It's a live challenge next... both have me mildly stressed but I'm ready to embrace either with open arms.

My patience grows thin with each passing hour that these Zosma's dont answer my one about this vote. At this point, Im gon a throw out a name to my Auva's and call it a day. But then again, Dylan and Odd are too awol to be trusted- thus aggravating me a little more. So if this is my final confessional of the season, better give me that OTTN5 edit.

Hello I hope we don’t swap I wish we went to tribal my tribe sucks and loris is definitely a snake and John is meh and Emma is inactive and kori is scary and I wanna work with zosma or like literally anyone else and I think I forhot someone OH big z he’s iconic but doesn’t talk to me smh

im so lucky lmaoo the rest of the cast can suck my dick also loris is kwl

I think we are probably going to rocks me and drew discussed the idea of getting both sides to vote for each other so when rocks are drawn we’d both be safe but he got worried about the idea of someone flipping and him dying which I understand but idk I’m ready to go balls to the wall

heuse1acToday at 4:05 PM Oh Sam calls me "dude" that might be my vote we're gonna have to see

DANI LIKES TO SING, KWEEN. Toby r e a l l y loves talking about himself. Sam is definitely straight. Unfortunate.

Y e e t h a w 🤠 Toby flopped in the counting challenge that I was ready to go the distance for & I’m not exactly sitting pretty for this joint tribal. I have a feeling that I could be targeted by Auva just because from an outsider’s perspective, I’ve done well in the past few challenges. There’s a lot of speculation that we’re gonna swap after this round, so I want Auva to know that I personally want to work with them in the future. Then together we can lower Revati’s numbers since they’re a bit too stronk right now. Drew T. tells me that himself, Drew H. & Roxy have been more on the “livelier” side as opposed to Odd & Dylan, whom I presume are on the bottom. Apparently Odd argued with the hosts as he was in the middle of a timed challenge & has rubbed some people the wrong way. So...why don’t we just vote out Odd for that reason? All I need to do is convince one person from Auva to flip & we avoid going to rocks, but I’m not shying away from rocks either. Dani said she’d go to rocks if Louise or I were in jeopardy, Roxy doesn’t want to kill me, Drew H. wants to play this game with me, & Drew T. let me know I wasn’t receiving votes. Maybe it isn’t the end of the world?

Toby finally found out that the idol was hidden under 39 & someone had already found it. I decided to stick to my guns by not claiming I have it because that only gives people incentive to vote you out. I have been leading Zosma’s votes which isn’t the position I’d ideally like to be in, but no one else is stepping up to the plate. I make my Odd pitch & say that we should tell the rest of Auva that they should vote out someone disposable to them instead of going to rocks for that person. Zosma & Auva are stubbornly solidifying themselves against the other for this vote, but I believe I could get Drew T. to flip. If not then I guess I’ll be drawing for rocks. :o

I want to make a longer one when I get home but for now im ready to did to rocks and join my boy jack in the robbed premerge with 0 votes club YEEEEEEEEET

Joint tribal is interesting. I think it will just be a tie. We will see.

Odd is voted out 5-3-2.