#anyway. enjoy the revamp. i do like this one much better

[selencgraphy]

— 𝐌𝐈𝐒𝐂𝐇𝐈𝐄𝐕𝐎𝐔𝐒 𝐀𝐃𝐕𝐄𝐍𝐓𝐔𝐑𝐄

PAIRING: loki laufeyson x f!asgardian!reader

TAGS: bestfriend!loki, idiots in love, loki using magic, canon divergent, fluff, some cursing

A/N: oh man i wrote this sooooo long ago too. it's an old one that i deleted bc i was revamping my acc but i went back to reread it and realized i just had to bring it back! happy reading <3

WORD COUNT: ~1.3k

masterlist || request box <3

"Loki?"

He hummed in response. "If you could go anywhere in the Nine Realms," you started, "where would you go and who would you take with you?"

After a long day, the two of you had settled in the grass behind the palace, taking the time to relax, enjoy each other's company, and stare up into the sky. He turned to face you with a small grin already painted across his face. "What are you smiling about?"

"You already know my answer. Well, half of it anyway."

"Oh come on, don't be like that! Just tell me."

He took a second to think about it. Another grin grew on his face. He leaned in as if he was going to whisper it to you and said, "Why don't I just show you?"

With that, he shot up and put out his hand. As soon as you took it, he pulled you close to him. "The Bifrost is quite far for a walk, why don't I just..."

As he spoke, suddenly the two of you already seemed to have made it to the entrance of the Bifrost. "There."

"I don't think I'll ever get used to you doing that."

As time had passed over the years, Loki had become better at controlling the magic that Frigga had shared with him. One of the things he learned was how to conjure fireworks which he always used to make your day. Teleportation was his latest feat and he took advantage of it. When you both entered, you were greeted by the gatekeeper, Heimdall. "Your royal highness. My liege."

"Let me guess, you saw us coming?"

He hummed in response. "What can I do for the two of you today?"

Loki turned to you and gave you a quick smile before he approached the gatekeeper, whispering something into his ear. Heimdall quickly nodded and inserted Hofund to open the Bifrost. As you moved towards the entrance of the portal, Loki turned to you, grabbing your hand. "Hold onto me, love. I don't want you to fall out by accident now, do I?"

Before you knew it, the two of you were gliding up through the Bifrost, the colors glistening all around you. A look of astonishment growing on your face which made Loki's heart swell in his chest. Suddenly, you were on solid ground again, burn marks from the Bifrost scorched into the ground beneath you. "Loki," you started, taking in the new environment. "Where are we?"

"Midgard," he replied, a small smile on his face. You were speechless. You never imagined Midgard to be this… beautiful. When you learned about the Nine Realms, Midgard had been described as a place unappealing to visit and that the Midgardians were rude creatures that don't know how to do anything but create chaos. You always joked that it was the perfect place for Loki with him being the God of Mischief and all. But this? Wherever Loki had taken you seemed to be the complete opposite.

Unlike Asgard, the seemingly end of their world wasn't just space, it was water and in the distance was a beautiful skyline of orange and blue. As you took in the sight before you, Loki couldn't help but admire how amazed you looked. He had taken a trip here once before with his brother, Thor, so he was less taken aback but seeing the look on your face made this visit feel more meaningful—not that it wasn't already. Breaking the silence, Loki leaned in and whispered, "Beautiful, isn't it?"

"Loki, this is-"

As you turned to face him, he offered his hand, asking for you to take it once more. "Come on," he insisted, "There is so much more that I want you to see."

The second your hand met his he quickly turned around and set off in a sprint, dragging you right behind him. Over the sounds of the crashing waves, you yelled, "Loki! Where are you taking me now?"

"Do you trust me?"

"What?"

"Do you trust me?"

"Of course I do but what does that have to-"

Before you could finish you found yourself in another environment once again. "Fuck, Loki!"

All he did was laugh back at your shock at the teleportation. He continued to run with your hands still interlocked but as you took in more of the sights of the new area you realized it resembled the area behind the palace just immensely larger. A field of grass with flowers everywhere, only a massive tree in sight. Both yours and Loki's hair flowing in the wind as you sprinted through the field.

Once you came to a stop, the both of you took a second to catch your breaths. Taking a seat next to the tree, you took a similar position like how you were laying back on the field in Asgard, Loki quickly following suit. Suddenly, he turned and took you into his arms and began to violently tickle you. "Loki, stop! No," you squealed.

Coming to a stop with the tickling, he continued to hold you in his arms. "Thank you."

"For what?"

"Just for being my friend for so long and allowing me to bring you here. I thought you would have left me when you found out that I was, well, not Asgardian."

"Of course, Loki. You think I'd pass up the opportunity to be friends with a prince of Asgard?"

He sat up, jokingly displaying a shocked expression on his face. "Is that the only reason you're friends with me?"

You quipped, "Why else would I be?"

As he took his place back onto the ground next to you, you went on to say, "I'm glad we're friends too, Loki. I can't imagine being best friends with anyone else."

"Not even my brother?"

"Not even your brother," you ensured.

Staying in silence for a second, he quickly broke it and said, "I know we just got here but there is one more place that I want you to see."

Taking your hand once again, you expected him to teleport immediately but he quickly added, "Close your eyes."

"Hmm and why should I?"

"Just trust me."

Reluctantly, you shut your eyes and you felt the two of you teleport. Immediately new sounds and smells filled your senses. With your eyes still closed, he helped you up and guided you to his desired location. "Just a little bit further and... there. You can open your eyes now."

Once your eyes opened, you were met with buildings and lights underneath you. "Wh- Where are we?"

"This is something the Midgardians call the Eiffel Tower. It's this triangular shaped structure similar to the palace but much less attractive."

"Oh, please," you laughed as you lightly shoved his shoulder. You leaned over the railing, further taking in its beauty, Loki taking his place next to you.

"You asked if I could go anywhere where I'd go and with whom," he started without breaking his gaze downwards to the buildings. When you turned to look at him he continued, "I don't care where I end up as long as it’s with you."

"You sap!"

"Hey," he retorted. "I'm being serious."

"I know," you whispered, blush creeping into your cheeks at the sentiment.

You took a second to take in the sight before the two of you before Loki spoke again. "How about you?"

"Hm?"

"Where would you go and with whom?"

Meeting his gaze, you leaned in, closing the space between you. "Anywhere as long it's with you," a smile growing on your face as you basically repeated his answer back to him.

"Oh, who's the sap now!"

The two of you laughed it off and continued to look onto the city in front of you. "Hey, the sights here on Midgard are fascinating but just you wait until you taste their food."

Your eyebrows raised in intrigue. “Really?”

He nodded and offered his hand once more, already glowing in green with magic. "Can't we just walk down?" you whined.

A mischievous grin grew on the god's face. "Now where's the fun in that?"

[astermath]

nemesis; part two.

pairing: carmen berzatto x fem!reader

summary: with carmen reworking the restaurant, you’d think his mind would be far too occupied to even think about anything else. yet he can’t shake the guilt from what he’d put you through a month prior. after some talks in therapy, he decides to take a leap of faith and see if he can talk it out with you. he not only wants to convince you that he can be better, but he's got an offer for you too. one you truly can't refuse.

♡ landing page ♡

word count: 4.9K

tags: carmen being unsure about his feelings but trying to be better episode 3265742, letting reader in a little more, APOLOGIES!!!, cursing ig, carm goes to therapy yippee, syd being the absolute realest, regular font below!

notes: sorry this took literally forever omg, I lost my carmen muse for a bit but we are SO back baby. I missed him so much and so sorry if some things don't follow the canon completely (I've been watching season 2 on and off bc I've been so busy lol BUT my fics never follow the canon completely anyways),, hope u guys enjoy and let me know if you'd like a part three ;))

lmk if you'd like to be added to the tag list for further carmen berzatto related content! comments and reblogs are highly appreciated!

Carmen’s life hadn’t known a moment of mental rest in ages. If you asked him when he last sat down with his thoughts or acknowledged his mental anguish, he probably would have said he couldn’t remember the last time. If ever.

With plans to completely revamp The Beef and everything that came with it, now his feelings should be the last thing on his mind. Renovation plans, unforeseen costs and a completely new menu, sure, he could worry his ass off about those, but feelings? Absolutely not. Good thing he was usually so good at suppressing those anyways.

So why was it that he couldn’t shake the thought of what he did to you?

Why, every time he had a moment to himself, would he be overtaken by this intense feeling of guilt? He didn’t even have to be alone, just a second of quiet and the image of you crying in distress would intrude on his thoughts.

It was getting to a point where he’d told his sister, Natalie, about it. Well, not all of it, he wasn’t even sure if he knew all of it. Just that he knows he hurt you, and that coming to terms with what he projected onto you might be a good first step in understanding himself better.

Or maybe it was something more along the lines of “I gotta talk my shit to some people”. Probably that.

To his surprise, it was actually helping. Besides the group therapy sessions where he’d talk about Mikey, the business and his future, he was talking to other people in his life too. Even told Sydney about you, kind of on accident. The words just seemed to… Flow out. It was probably the exhaustion doing its thing.

“I guess I just felt like,” he kept his eyes on the floor he was sweeping, “she was doing it all to fuck with me. I don’t even know where I got the sick idea that she had some obsession over me, but it— it drove me at the same time. It’s like her being on my heels at every aspect of culinary school just made me want to try even harder.”

“Maybe you painted her in that light because you knew it was a good way to keep pushing yourself.” Sydney spoke almost absentmindedly, sweeping the other side of the room. She listened to everything he said in the meantime, and though what he was telling her was a bit worrying, she was glad they got to have talks like this. Carmen often doesn’t like to bring up his past like that.

“Huh,” he paused sweeping for a moment, “yeah… yeah, maybe. Or maybe it was something else.”

Sydney wasn’t even sure he knew what he was referring to. It sounded like something entirely different, like a crush, but what kind of person treats their crushes like that?

Probably an overworked, pressured, overachieving culinary student with a dangerous need for validation. But she wasn’t about to tell him that.

“So yeah, I visited her restaurant, and… It just felt the exact same as back in New York, you know? Like she was rubbing it in my face again, and— and I know that sounds insane, or conceited, but I just can’t let it go. It’s like the thought of her is stuck to my brain like a stubborn piece of gum.” He wanted to smack himself for that stupid analogy, but what was said was said.

“So how’d you handle it?” Sydney’s head perked up, some of her braids now draping over her shoulders.

“Handle what?” Carmen became more and more uneasy the more he talked about you. Like his chest was tight, it was uncomfortable, but not in the way he was when the health inspection came by, it was different. Weirder. Unfamiliar. He didn’t like it, because he didn’t understand it.

“The talk with her.” She emptied the last bit of dust into the trash bag.

“Oh,” his mind took him back to the parking lot a month ago. The way he could almost taste the tears of your skin from how close he stood, he could hear the shakiness of your breath and the profound desperation in your voice when you apologized to him, when you really had no reason to.

If it was still so clear in his mind, then what must it be like for you?

“Carmen?” Sydney snapped him out of his oncoming train of thought.

“Yeah? Sorry, I— Uh, I don’t know it was…” He runs a hand through his hair, suddenly finding it in his best interest to look anywhere else but her face. “Bad. It was— It was bad.” He looks a bit shameful when he meets her eyes. “I fucked up. I like, went all New York boss on her. And then I just… Left.”

His colleague just stares at him for a moment. She knew what he was like when he snapped like that, but that was with his staff, people he liked. So how badly did he snap on you, a person he’d been resenting for years?

“I’m gonna go take out this trash, and uh… Head home.” She lifts the grey plastic bag she was holding. “But uh, Carm?”

“Yeah?”

“You got issues, man.” She has a bit of an awkward smile on her face, but he knows she means it. He knows she’s right. She usually is.

He nods, silently, letting her words sink in. He did have issues, everyone knew that, but most people didn’t just say it. That’s why he liked Sydney, she was so real, so honest. She was so good for the business, for the kitchen. And maybe her saying that to him was all part of grounding him in the reality of it all. Of his issues, just that they existed.

“Heard.” he says. His voice comes out raspier than he expected, like he’s struggling to say it.

“Goodnight, chef.”

“Night.”

He’d thought about what Sydney said the entire night. He does have issues, he knows that, he’s just mad at himself for letting everything get this far before seeking help. It scares him. Because it reminds him too much of Mikey. Or what he heard about him when things got bad.

He doesn’t want to make the same mistakes his brother did. Lock people out of his life just because it seems easier, because it’s better to minimize the damage than to figure out why you’re doing damage at all. And yes it’s uncomfortable, yes it’s scary, terrifying even. But he keeps being reminded of how it must feel for you.

It’s something he’d never considered before. He always thought he had you all figured out, all fake smiles and backhanded compliments to distract him. It never occurred to him to just… Ask. It was always just easier to assume. It fit his view of you and it kept him going, even if it was at the expense of ever getting to know you at all.

He’s hoping he can change that with a few text messages and a long, probably uncomfortable, talk over coffee. Just hoping, trying, that’s really all he can do. He’s well aware of how bad he is at communicating, but he has to give it a shot. For you, at least.

He stares at his phone screen for far longer than is necessary, continuously rereading the messages he’d typed. His eyes keep flicking to your contact, making sure he sent it to the right person. The only thing you two had texted about before was a time and place for him to try your new restaurant. His heart aches at the exclamation points and emojis you’d sent; you were so excited, and he drove all that excitement straight into the ground.

He closes his eyes and shuts off the phone. His chest hurts, like he’s been holding his breath the entire time. Maybe he has. You could have that effect on him, making it harder to breathe. He always wondered why he had such nervous reactions around you specifically. He always figured it had to do with your one sided rivalry, but it feels… Different. More complex.

Your eyes are finally peeled off your computer screen when numerous phone notifications alarm you. Truth be told, you’ve been trying your best to keep yourself occupied as much as possible. That usually helps when you get waves of emotions like this, keeping busy, distracting your mind from overthinking.

Ever since your last encounter with Carmen, you’ve been so on edge. Always trying to do something, anything, so you wouldn’t have to think about what happened, why he acted like that to you. Because you know if you did, you’d just start blaming yourself again, and you’d be back to square one.

Your eyebrows raise at the name of the contact. You were sure he’d blocked you, or at least deleted your number after last time. He was avoidant like that, and frankly, you weren’t sure if you wanted him to talk to you again after that anyways. Maybe it was just to drive the point home, make you feel even more worthless.

Still, you were curious. Even if it was just to cuss you out even more, at least you knew what to expect, right?

[carmen]: hey, I really want to talk to you about what happened last time.

[carmen]: well

[carmen]: I want to apologise

[carmen]: but I can’t do that like this

[carmen]: I’d much rather do it in person

[carmen]: if you’d let me

[carmen]: meet me at odette’s tomorrow around 10? coffee’s on me, I just want to talk

[carmen]: please

The last message was sent minutes later than the rest, while you were reading them. He was desperate for an answer, and though you wanted to hear him out, to talk to him, something in you felt off about the whole thing. Like he was just doing this to clear off his own guilt, only to then ditch you just like he ditched you after culinary school. Because you’re rivals, apparently. That’s what you do.

But then there’s something else in you too. The part that’s still nostalgic about New York with him. About the glances back and forth when you were timed on preparing certain things, about the way he’d stare at you when you got feedback, the ignorant bliss you lived in. When you still believed he might have liked you just a little.

That part of you takes the upper hand when you reply and take his offer. Your heart is in your throat, nerves overtaking you already and you weren’t even with him yet. He had that effect on you sometimes, making it harder to breathe.

You wondered what that meant.

Carmen sits alone at a booth, all the way at the back of the café he’d chosen. It’s rather quiet, as most Mondays are, yet at the same time, it’s so loud. Loud in the way he hears the clinking of every spoon against porcelain cups, the crinkling of a napkin and the not so subtle ticking of the clock above the entrance. 10:06. You were late.

Suddenly he's filled with more regret than he's ever felt before. He's not ready to see you again, only to be reminded of how he made you cry, and of his own tumultuous emotions and shortcomings that lead to this moment. It's surprising how fast the emotions he associates with you changed; he's not angry anymore, he's scared, guilty, nervous. He wants to see you so bad and yet he feels like you'd be better off never talking to him again.

It's too late to make a run for it when you finally walk through the door. Hair a little damp from the rain, just a bit disheveled from what he could only assume to be rushing over to the café. And that same angelic smile you offer to the barista that greets you, the same one you'd offer him every morning, whether he looked at you or not.

He had no choice but to look now.

Your smile falters into something more nervous, a little melancholic, when your eyes meet his across the café. Though you knew he was going to be there, something in you feels surprised to see him again. Maybe it’s because he isn’t yelling at you or throwing insults at your head this time. Or maybe because he’s actually looking you in the eye. Since when did he get so good at that?

You sit down across him, taking off your coat and putting your bag besides you.

“Hey.” You smile again, much more awkward this time.

“Hey.” He returns the same thin lipped smile.

It’s quiet for a few seconds. Carmen swears the whole café has gone silent in that moment, leaving the two of you to listen to the sound of your own breathing and heartrate picking up. You’re not sure where to look, not being used to being in such an intimate setting with him.

“Do you want a coffee?”

“Sorry I was late.”

You both talk over each other, and the urge to chuckle about it overtakes you. Carmen can’t help but smile as well. You seem nervous, and somehow that puts him a little more at ease. Like he’s not the only one who’s in their head about it.

“Sorry, I, uhm, yeah— I would like a coffee.” You scramble over your words. “Please.”

“Sure,” he nods, “and no worries.”

“Hm?”

“That you were late. I haven’t been here that long either.” He lied. He’d been there half an hour early, cursing himself for letting him sit along with his thoughts for that long and psyching himself out into almost leaving.

You both order and another heavy silence sits between you two. You both know why you’re there, what needs to be talked about. Yet neither of you know how to bring it up.

You’ve lived most of your lives believing this version of each other you had in your minds. Because it kept you grounded. Because it was easier. He never let you in and for the longest time, you were at peace with that. You could have a slightly distant view of who he was, your classmate, your rival. And he could do the same. Keep you out, pretend you were there to keep him on his toes, to always try to outdo him.

Those facades of each other don’t work anymore. The real world has forced you to reconcile with each other, whether you liked it or not.

Your coffee gets brought to your table, and both of you feel this urgency to say something, anything, at least.

“The pastries here are good too, if you want to get one.” He finally broke the awkward silence. He can start with talking about food, something he knows. If all else fails, resort back to that.

“I haven’t tried a pastry besides my own in a long time. Maybe I could learn a thing or two here.” You admit. He knows that feeling. He’s not nearly as adventurous with his food choices as he wants to be, but as a busy chef on the brink of a new entrepreneurship, it’s usually beef sandwiches and frozen meals.

“I think yours were better though.” He takes a sip of his coffee.

“Huh?” You look up, realizing you were avoiding eye contact by staring into your cup.

“The danish I tried at your place. It was fire.”

“Oh. Right. Thank you, we make everything from scratch.”

“I could tell.” He takes another sip. “I guess I— I kinda forgot to tell you that. In the heat of it all.” He huffs to himself. “Food was so good it made me upset.”

“Upset?” His word use frustrates you. Upset is when they forget to give you your sauce with your order. What happened back there was not upset. That was rage. Wrath. You raise an eyebrow and he realizes he said something wrong.

“Well, more than upset. Listen, I— We need to talk about what happened.” His blue eyes peer into your own. They’re almost distracting enough to avoid you noticing his fidgeting hands.

“I’m listening.” You lean back slightly in your seat. You’d played nice with Carmen all your life, given him every chance to return it. Now it was his turn to try.

"Right." Of course he has to talk. It's his fault, isn't it? He's the one who snapped-- why did he even imply you'd have to explain yourself? He runs a hand through his hair, and there he goes again, eyes darting across the café to find something to focus on as he sought out the right words. You'd almost find it endearing, how bad he is at this, if it wasn't so important to you.

"You don't do this often, do you?"

"What, like-- meeting up for coffee?"

"Talking about stuff. Your feelings and shit." You hid your slightly amused smile behind your coffee cup before taking a small sip.

"Oh. Yeah, no, I-- I don't. Not until recently." He takes a deep breath. Just like they had told him to. “I’ve been going to this therapy thing my sister recommended. S’not much, but… It’s a start. Talked about the restaurant, my brother—“

“Your brother?” Your eyebrows raise slightly.

“Yeah, my— my brother. Mikey.” He looks a bit surprised. He’s come to the shattering realization that he’s never told you anything about his personal life, ever. You don’t even know about one of the most important people in his life, his main drive. You’ve known each other for so long yet you know so little. “I never told you about him?”

“You never told me anything.” You answer curtly. “We never really… Talked, you know?”

“Yeah— yeah, you’re right. I just thought… Wow.” He smiles, more out of shock than anything. He feels so stupid. How immature is it to be feuding this much with a person who doesn’t know anything about you?

“I guess I really don’t know much about you either.” His fingers rake through his messy curls again. “Makes me feel like even more of an idiot for going off on you like that. Like I had you all figured out.”

“Yeah, that was uh... That was something." The mood shifts a little. His smile fades as soon as he sees the melancholy in your eyes return. Of course it wouldn't be that easy for you to forgive him, to feel better about all this. "You know, I never knew you thought of me like that." A small smile graces your features. Somehow it's sadder than the expression you had before.

"I mean, I knew you didn't like me. I was pretty much at peace with the fact that you were never going to like me, either. But I never thought you hated me that much." You sniffle, trying your hardest to blink away any oncoming tears. "Like your life, your entire career, would have been easier without me there at all."

His heart aches at the sight of you, all teary eyed and trying to be brave. You're much braver than him. Sadness is a much harder thing to express than anger. He's starting to figure that out more and more.

"I don't hate you." He starts. He sees the confusion contort your features, and he knows he's not making any sense. "I mean I did-- I did hate you. Or, maybe not you, just... The fucked up idea I had of you. And-- and that was on me, that was my own fault." He feels an urge to touch you; to rub your back, hold your hand, anything to comfort you. It's tearing him apart to know that he's the cause of all this.

"But why?" A single tear rolls down your cheek, leaving a wet streak on your skin in its wake. "Why did you think that about me? I-- I get that we had a little rivalry going but jesus Carmen, did you really think I spent my whole culinary school career trying to outdo you?"

"To be honest... Yeah." He feels ashamed. So ashamed. He hopes the waitress doesn't walk by and listen to any of this, see you crying, and make you feel even worse. "Cooking was always just... My thing. If I was good for anything, it would be that. So seeing you do so well at something I'd started to base my whole existence around, it made me jealous, so fucking jealous." He meets your eyes, even if it's hard. You have to know he's being sincere.

"And it's-- it's unfair, it's so unfair to you, I know, and I'm really fuckin' sorry. I'm trying to work on myself, on everything, and I hope I can prove that to you." His face has that red tint you recognize whenever he's nervous or stressed. You can tell this is taking a lot from him.

"Is that really all? You were just jealous?" Your voice is quieter, fragile almost.

"I don't know. I wanna think it's that simple but I really don't know. There's a lot I don't understand about me, or you, or us. My mind doesn't know how to react when I see you anymore I think, now that things are different." He takes a deep breath, like saying that took a physical toll on him. "You have this-- this weird effect on me, and I don't know how to cope with it. I think it was just easier to be mad at you than to be anything else."

Anger is easier to express than sadness. The easiest out of all emotions, actually. Sometimes a little too easy.

You look to the side, wiping your cheek with the back of your hand. You huff out something close to a laugh, and though he’s caught off guard by it, he doesn’t mind it. Even if you’re laughing at him, at least that means you’re not crying.

“You’ve got issues Berzatto. You know that?”

“Yeah. I’ve been told.” He smiles, and it’s heartfelt this time. Not nervous, or sad, or awkward. He’s happy to see you a little more at ease.

“It’s just really crazy to me.” You trace your finger over the edge of your coffee cup as you talk. “I spent so much time in culinary school looking up to you. And then I find out you were always just trying to keep up with me.”

Carmen’s eyebrows raise a little at your words. “Looked up to me?”

“Yeah, like… Your drive, your passion, it’s so impressive. Always looking to improve, to do better, it just— it inspired me to do better too. As cheesy as that may sound.” You smiled. “S’why I opened up in Chicago, you know.”

“Really? Huh.” He leaned back in his seat.

“Because I wanted to work with you. Or for you. Either would have been fine with me.” You sigh. “I like owning my own place, but… I don’t know, for some reason I always imagined us working together.” You smiled. “Is that stupid?”

“No,” he replied quickly, “no not at all, I— I totally get that.” He’s quiet for a few seconds, and you can practically hear the gears turning in his head when he stares at you for a moment.

“I mean you’re a remarkable chef, really, like— insanely remarkable, and, well, we’re revamping the restaurant completely right now. We need people— more people, new people, and so, I was wondering— or I’ve been thinking—“ He stops himself from losing his breath from all his rambling, before he freaks you out even more than he already has.

“I want you to come work for us at the Bear.” He puts his hands together, as if he’s about to beg. “Please.”

You can almost hear yourself blinking out of confusion. There’s suddenly no more loud silences, no, the café seems dead quiet for once. All you can do is stare at him, wait for a laugh, because clearly this was a joke right? There’s no way Carmen Berzatto, chef supreme, arch nemesis of yours, would want you anywhere near him, let alone work in his own establishment.

“I’m sorry?”

He feels stupid already. You had every reason to say no. He’d been the biggest asshole in the world to you, he’d kept his distance all his life, and now he expects you to be his employee. Or, well, colleague, more so.

“I’m uh— we’re redoing the restaurant entirely. New equipment, new staff, new everything.” He swallows; the thought of everything that needed to be done arises for a moment. “We need people that work hard, who know what they’re doing and who are passionate about it. And I barely know anyone who’s better at what you do than yourself.” He pauses, waiting for you to stop him. But you don’t.

“So I’m asking if you’d work for me. With me. It won’t be anything like old days, if anything I— I need to learn from you.” He scoffs at himself. “Could take a thing or two about how to communicate with my staff.”

You smile, and he genuinely thinks you’re about to start laughing at him. You chuckle, but it’s not mean, it’s honest. Cute.

“You know, you have great timing.” You grin.

“I do?” the smile on his face reflects the hope he feels.

“One of my chefs wants to take over the place for me. Well, has been wanting to. I haven’t had an exact reason to say yes to her yet.” You shrugged. “Guess I do now.”

“…Is that you saying yes?”

“It’s definitely not me saying no.” Your eyes meet his, and there’s something between you both that’s different now. It’s not like there’s a switch that’s been flipped. It‘s more like this conversation was the turning page of a new chapter.

“I’ll think about it. I want to see it first. Maybe talk to some of your staff.” Carmen’s chest strains a little when he thinks about you interacting with Richie. Then he’s reassured when he thinks about you interacting with Sydney or Marcus. You’d fit in well, you have great feeling for people.

“Yeah— yeah, I get that. Totally. I can arrange that. Uhm, we’re renovating right now, actually, it’s all really kinda wild, but if you wanna stop by, chat with Syd, or Nat, or talk about the plans, let me know. I’m sure they’d love to talk to you.” He’s not lying, you seem like you’d get along well with them. Especially Sydney. Your thinking processes are very similar to each other. And to his.

Carmen gets the bill, even though you try to pay for it.

“It’s just a coffee, just let me get this one.”

You let him have this one, simply because you can’t argue with him after the conversation you just had. You’re in too good of a mood after his proposition too.

He walks you to your car, hands in his pockets when you reach it. It’s cold outside, and his breath comes out in visible puffs of air. His nose is a little red, but you think it looks cute.

“Thanks for coming, by the way,” he starts, “I know you didn’t have to. Like— after how I acted to you. But— But I really do appreciate that you’re givin' me a chance here.” He’d always been confused about how positive and faithful you were in people. He never thought he’d be grateful for those exact features too.

“No worries, I… I had a good time. I’m glad we talked.” The keys jingle as you fidget with them. Among them is a keychain in the shape of a cherry, he recognizes it. It reminds him of how little you’ve both changed. And how much.

“Yeah.” He sighs. Relieved, almost. “Me too. But I’ll let you leave, might wanna tell your chef the good news.”

“Good news?” You quirk an eyebrow.

“That you’re selling them the business.”

“I haven’t decided yet, Carm.” You scoff. But he can tell you have, you look too excited about it all to not have your mind made up yet. It excites him too. Scares him a bit as well, but what’s a new chapter without a bit of tension?

“Right. Sorry.” He huffs. “Just text me when you wanna head over to see the place. It’s uh… It’s a work in progress, but it’s getting somewhere.”

“I believe you. I’m looking forward to it.” You lean back against your car a little.

“Yeah. Me too.”

“See y’around?” You unlock it and walk up to the driver’s side.

“Course. Uh, don’t be a stranger.”

You grin, leaning down to get into the vehicle. “Never with you, Berzatto.”

He watches you drive off, standing in the cold for far longer than any sensible person has any business standing there. But he feels good. He feels warm.

He thinks about what you said to him before you left. You were right, you were never a stranger to him. You were always like a constant in his life; whether you were actually present or not. And even if he didn’t know that much about you, which he was insistent on changing, you were never a stranger.

Never with him.

tag list <3

@beebslebobs @thatone-brightstar  @spr3id  @deadandstill  @777iii  @magicboytrash  @dogdevourer @wiipes @sierrahhh  @crayzmarvelfan800 @azxulaa  @astridyoo15   @rexorangecouny  @azxulaa @jointherebellion215 @diorrfairy @chanluuvr @idontexist-anymore @wolfiealina

[randomalistic]

first off. i can't believe that i already followed you- your spam blog -and didn't know.

second. i literally just had a dream shere i was rambling to someone about turbo using stuff from your essay. apparently it rewired my brain so hard it, and you, manifested in my dreams lol (i even made a bad joke that "you can say he's Turbo-tastic!" hah)

and congratulations on making such great work of art that is the essay, you can feel and hear the love(and hyperfixation) poured into it.

i do wonder tho, what was the hardest part when making it?

I’m so glad you enjoyed it yay :)❤️ and also recognized me from my sneo blog LOL

I feel that so horrendously much. I legit had a dream a few nights ago about someone APPROACHING ME cuz they recognized my voice from the essay (girl get an ego check) but they then said “dude it’s so obvious you’re into him” or something. And I was like. 🧍‍♀️Well you don’t have to say it out loud

Anyways you’re not the only one cuz the video haunts me too. even after its birth.

The hardest part?? Oh Man. Can I say Everything.

There were a few stretches that were REALLY TOUGH. short answer: Entire first half of the video. Also the longer parts like the Manipulation section, Turbo reveal section, and the Cybug King Candy section. I had a lot to say for these and it was tricky to condense it into something Comprehensible

Long answer:

I completely overhauled the entire first half of the video (EVERYTHING before the kart breaking scene) because I wasn’t satisfied with the writing/delivery etc. (Which was a good choice because my arguments were pretty half baked before) but oh my god that was like a week and a half of 7 hour recording and rewriting sessions it was brutal. Especially annoying because those arguments were super old and I was getting sick of thinking about them. So instead I used them as a backbone to structure better arguments and revamp the script so that kept me from going insane. However it was also really fun because I got to see my old ass arguments finally be explained to their fullest capacity. And also I got to write shit like ☝️🤓Excuse me sir your turbo is showing..

The biggest issue with this being my first ever video essay and it taking so goddamn long: you could SEE my writing/editing/voicing skills improve over the span of the video itself. Which is really cool improvement wise but REALLY . REALLY BAD CONSISTENCY WISE. Like the first half of the video is the part people are gonna see first. It SETS EXPECTATIONS. IT HAS TO BE PEAK

I think I re-edited the synopsis upwards of 5-6 times. Which makes sense as that was like the first thing I started the project with but ouhvhhhgghghr. Making a section from scratch is WAY easier than going back and having to redo something

Early on I cut out an entire fully edited/scripted/recorded 3 minute section of me talking about Megamind and its sequel because I realized. This is pointless and everyone has TALKED ABOUT MEGAMIND BEFORE AND THIS HAS NOTHIBG TO DO WITH WRECK IT RALPH. There were a lot of scrapped ideas

Audio was also really challenging, just entirely. Making sure the levels were consistent (I had absolutely zero voice volume normalization I did it all manually 😭 I’m gonna have to figure out how to do that) Also just the concept of recording my voice and having to speak out loud in a space was Real Bad for my anxiety but You Do it Scared. Had to wait until I was home alone or like 99% sure I was alone before I could say anything without worrying. Also training my voice to sound engaging and consistent was so hard and it took maybe 6 months for me to get it down. Also I had no fucking idea where to record, like at first I was recording in a CLOSET (and later under a piano??) and then I was wondering why my lines sounded so weird. Then I realized I could just Record in a room and it would sound JUST FINE. So basically uhhh every single part was the hardest part. But it was worth it and very fun I think 🫶

[cha0s-boyy]

revamp of my old creeper design from like... 10... years ago... minecraft old (notes under the cut)

[ID: two cartoony digital drawings of an interpretation of a Minecraft creeper, one fullbody and one headshot. it has a long neck, a short body that sits at an angle, due to its forelegs being longer than its hind legs, short floppy ears, a short duck-like tail, conjoined claws on its feet, and a deer-like nose that is joined to a prominent lip, making the iconic creeper frown shape. it is fluffy and green, with ticked markings suggesting a mottled coloration. its scleras are dark green, and its pupils/irises, nose and lip skin, and claws, are all green-tinted black. /end ID]

design notes!

i've always personally much preferred fluffy creepers over the more popular "irradiated flesh-melting humanoid mutant" interpretation. i know that a tweet doesn't exactly make something "canon" to the game, but i do like to think this fits with the "leaf-like texture" they were described as having. i do enjoy the "plant creature that explodes to spread pollen" theory, but even if you want to just interpret them as furry not actually leafy it makes sense from a camouflage standpoint. i used to give them pointier more upright ears (actually i usually made them back-pointing ears), but given that their model doesn't prominently display ears (like say, the wolf model does) i decided to allude to their "pig mistake" origins and give them triangular floppy ears like some pigs have. also, everyone always staunchly refused to give them ears despite only ONE mob at the time actually having modeled ears (that being wolves), so the idea of a creature having ears but not having them be individually modeled in the game was 100% plausible. nose and mouth! i am SO PROUD of this interpretation. i always found giving them a huge frown always looked a little goofy, so i tried to think of other ways to get that iconic shape, and i think joining the skin of a nose and a defined lip together really accomplishes this well. not to mention, it's actually closer to the pixelated shape, due to the nose sticking up higher than the lip. (that's just me being self-aggrandizing at this point tho. i don't think i've actually got the "better more correct" interpretation here or anything.) long neck / body plan - i NEVER understood why everyone always INSISTED on giving them humanoid torsos with no arms and four mutant legs when the option of having a LONG NECK was right there???? i mean if you're leaning into the rotated pig body thing it makes sense, but istg it was every. single. one. no matter how un-pig-like they were in every other respect. and besides it was usually a humanoid torso not a pig torso anyway. giving them slightly bent digitigrade legs i think also captures the "sticking out" look of their legs. again, i always preferred a more vertebrate look for creepers rather than the "alien walking around on spindles" look, but this was 100% done back in the day so i'm not as mad about it. also i'm proud of myself for the higher shoulders resulting in an angled body, because that lets me have the body a little longer without having to make something that would have absolutely 100% been modeled with another block for the body. tail is the same deal as ears - the only mob with a modeled tail (wolf) had an extremely prominent tail on its real counterpart, so the idea of the creature having a tail but not having it be modeled is 100% possible. actually snout too - i still don't give my creepers a very prominent snout/muzzle just to keep them recognizable, but long-faced/snouted animals like cows and (at the time) pigs were modeled with square heads, so a real creeper could 100% have a big ol' muzzle. i actually thought creepers had hooves for a long time before i realized the dark texture was only on the front of their legs, not all the way around. i could interpret this as them having longer fur that partially covers their hooves, but i like them with claws as well. they seem like they'd want grip. i did still give them partially joined claws to allude back to the hoof thing tho. but who knows? maybe i'll give them cloven pig-hooves in the future. nothing to say about coloration except that i obviously did a more simplified pattern to match my cartoony style rather than giving this drawing realistic mottling and brindling.

overall i guess my main deal with creepers is that i always wanted creepers to be animals (and specifically fairly large, terrestrial animals, that existed commonly within the world), rather than either insectoid cyborg aliens or cubes of melting flesh (that's one i didn't really touch on - many people were so unwilling to stray from making them cubic in their non-minecraft interpretations of creepers. i understand why for recognizability, but from a "actual creature vs minecraft model" standpoint, mobs just. aren't as square as they are in the game).

also disclaimer - i talk a lot about things that "everyone always did," and the keyword here is "did"- interpretations of creepers are more varied nowadays. it's been like 15 years! design tropes that were widespread through inescapable back in the day are no longer so.

[bow-of-aros]

Day Thirty-One: Aftercare

Summary:

Ted's convinced that he needs to do an entire personality overhaul in order to have people like him. His friends disagree.

Here it is folks! The last day! Thank you so much to everyone who's been reading this entire month, it's been an exhausting but incredible challenge. For my last entry, you get my longest fic of the series. Hope y'all enjoy and have a very happy Halloween <33333 (Special thanks to my lovely ☁️ anon, your asks have kept me going this month and I appreciate you SO MUCH!!!!!!!!)

It was finally Halloween, Ted’s favourite holiday of the year! A time when he could gorge himself on candy and drink a few beers on a weekday and be slightly less judged for it than he would on any other boring old day.

The best part though, was that he’d actually been invited to a party for the first time since he was a teenager! There’d been no dancing around him, no whispering plans to each other in the hopes that Ted wouldn’t hear, and no side-eyeing him when he got just a little too excited about this specific holiday because it meant that he could pretend to be somebody else.

Anyways.

Earlier in the week, Bill had come up to him and said that he was hosting a little Halloween movie night for the CCRP crew. He said that it was to keep them occupied while various younger family members did their thing, but Ted had caught a glimpse of the excited glimmer in Bill’s eye that had surely been mirrored in his own.

In the end, only Bill, Charlotte, Ted, and even Paul had made an RSVP, which was all good by Ted’s standards since he didn’t really give a shit about any of the other people.

Now all he had to do was not fuck this up for himself.

Sure, things were getting better between him and the rest of them. The whole near-death apocalypse experience that they’d all had had bonded them together with the added side effect of finally kicking Ted’s ass into gear about becoming less of a douchebag.

But when your life flashes before your eyes and you’re actively disgusted with yourself, that’s when you know that it’s time to make some changes.

Ted’s taking baby steps. He broke off the affair with Charlotte after her husband died, it just wasn’t right to keep screwing around while she was grieving. He stopped borderline harassing his coworkers—yikes—and that resulted in them talking to him if you can believe it.

He hasn’t done a complete personality revamp because, honestly, he didn’t really want to. He still makes dirty jokes and plays pranks on his coworkers. He hasn’t stopped bugging people but he is less of an asshole about it which people seem to appreciate, if begrudgingly.

Long story short, Ted’s been leaning more into being the office jester rather than the office sleazeball, and it’s been doing wonders on the amount of friends that he has.

Any amount of friends is higher than zero, to be fair, but now he had three.

Tonight’s gonna be different, though. Tonight’s the launch of a whole new Ted that people will actually want to be around. Time to shake off the remnants of his past self (Borat impressions included) and be a pleasant person to be around!

So, Ted sat in his car beside the cases of beer that he’d been tasked with bringing, trying to hype himself up like a loser before his first school dance.

“Alright Spankoffski,” He drummed his hands on the steering wheel, “This is your chance to prove to everyone that you’ve really changed. You are going to be nice, and friendly, and a normal, not disgusting or sleazy, human being.”

He pulled into Bill’s driveway, gathering the beers into his arms and pointing at himself in his rear-view mirror, “Do not fuck this up.”

It was already dark out when Ted knocked on the door, doing his best to appear relaxed as he waited.

The door swung open to reveal Bill beaming at him, “Ted! We’ve finally got everyone so now we can actually par-tay! Come on in!”

He’d gone all out as a skeleton with the face paint and everything making Ted feel a little self-conscious about his Mario costume that he’d managed to dig out of his closet at the last minute just because he already had the mustache.

All that melted away when he actually stepped inside to see Charlotte, dressed as Catwoman, look at him and say, “It’s-a-me! Mario!” and Paul, wearing a nametag that said “This is my Halloween costume,” look him over and give him an amused grin.

“Alright everyone, I am here and I’ve brought beer!” Ted hoisted the cases in the air, “Now we can have some real fun!”

And they cheered.

Yeah, this was going to be a good night.

And boy was it.

A couple hours later, Ted found himself squished between Paul and Charlotte and halfway through their second corny as hell horror movie. Jump scares didn’t affect Paul because of course they didn’t but Charlotte screamed every time, often hiding her face in either Ted or Bill’s chest when something she deemed scary happened.

It was really nice and, honestly, Ted and Charlotte had come to more of a mutual understanding that they worked well as friends, and Ted was astounded at how relaxed the atmosphere was. They were just a group of friends, drinking beer and eating candy while watching shitty Halloween movies.

Ted almost felt like he could be himself.

Almost.

The movie they were currently watching had a…well endowed female character, lets say. Normally, Ted would be cracking jokes left and right, and it seemed as though everyone expected him to by the way they shot him looks every time she was on the screen.

But he didn’t say anything, and nobody commented on it.

Until she fell into the water wearing a white tank top. Because of course she did.

“Damn! Talk about a—” The words were already halfway out of Ted’s mouth before he cut himself off, self-preservation instincts kicking in just a few seconds too late to save him from the looks he was inevitably going to get.

Except the looks he got weren’t the usual exasperation or disgust. They were more along the lines of…concerned?

Before Ted could shake off that thought, Bill leaned forward and said, “No! You’ve been too quiet all night, Ted and I know you want to say something, so have at it.”

Fucking what?

“Uh, no. I’m good, actually.” Was this a trap? This had to be some sort of trap, right?

Charlotte jostled him a little bit, “Seriously?! How about, like, I’d drink from those jugs any day!”

The impression pulled a snort from Bill who added, “Yeah! Or what about something along the lines of ‘I bet I could make her scream!’”

Okay. Those were pretty good. But this was new Ted, and new Ted didn’t make or laugh at jokes like that when desperately trying to get people to like him.

He managed to keep a relatively straight face as he said, “Sorry folks, I got nothing.”

With his gaze locked back on the screen, Ted missed the confused and slightly worried looks his friends were shooting at each other. He also missed the look of resigned determination that crept onto Paul’s face.

“Not even a ‘My wife!’ Ted?”

Hearing those words come out of Paul’s mouth felt like some sort of auditory hallucination. Ted would put real money on Paul never having seen Borat in his life, so his impersonation was more along the lines of an impersonation of Ted’s impersonation, which was funny as fuck.

Ted snorted out half of a laugh before getting himself back under control and attempting to mimic the unimpressed eyebrow raise Paul always gives him when he made jokes like that.

“Damn,” Bill whistled lowly, “I can’t believe that didn’t work. Are you feeling alright, Ted?”

Ted just scoffed, rolling his shoulders, “Yeah man! Just introducing you guys to the new and improved Ted 2.0! No more inappropriate jokes that everybody hates!”

He thought that that would settle it well enough, that everyone would breathe a sigh of relief and move on.

Except out of the corner of his eye, Ted could see Paul wince and he could hear Charlotte’s sad little, “Oh, Ted.”

Also, it was hard to miss the way Bill stood up and walked directly in front of him to stare him in the eyes with an odd look on his face.

“Ted, you know that we don’t hate your jokes, right?”

Oh shit. Everyone was looking at him, and it felt like things were getting serious, so Ted defaulted to his tried and true defense mechanism: Being a sarcastic asshole.

He pasted a sardonic grin on his face, “Oh come on, Billy. I may be an asshole but I’m not fucking stupid. I know how to take a hint or twenty.”

Bill’s expression shuttered before shifting into something harder.

You’ve really done it now, Spankoffski. No matter what you say it’s always the wrong fucking thing.

When Bill opened his mouth, Ted braced himself for a dressing down before getting kicked out to spend Halloween alone like he should have been doing all along.

“Ted’s being a bit of a grouch, huh guys? Why don’t we find something that’ll tickle his funny bone and crack a smile.”

And the way Bill said that combined with the looks he gave Paul and Charlotte suddenly made Ted very nervous for an entirely different reason.

The whiplash he’d gotten from the sudden change in the direction of the night meant that Ted hadn’t braced himself by the time Charlotte was enthusiastically agreeing and slipping her nails into his overalls to spider them over his stomach.

Ted immediately folded over with a panicked wheeze, “Wait! Char dohon’t! Shit Paul nohohohohoho!”

Paul, Mr. I’m-allergic-to-fun-and-laughter, decided to throw everytging Ted thought that he knew about him to the wind and immediately go for the fucking kill by digging his fingers into Ted’s ribs.

“NO! Nononononono wahahahait!” He started curling up into a ball and apparently Bill was not having that. He managed to grab onto both of Ted’s wrists and pull them away from his torso, leaving him defenseless to Paul and Charlotte’s attacks.

Of course, Charlotte immediately took advantage of this and wormed a hand in under his arm, giggling delightedly at the shriek it elicited.

“Char! I cahahahahan’t!” Bill tugged out his arms a little further, chuckling at him, “Bihihihihihill why?!”

“I told you that you were being a grouch! And I felt like it was the only way to get you to listen to what I’m about to say, starting with you are our friend and we genuinely appreciate that you try to make us laugh.”

Oh. Oh shit.

Apparently his struggling became a bit more pronounced at that because Ted could just barely hear a pointed “See?” over his laughter.

“Yeah, Ted!” Charlotte piped in, reaching down to scribble over his knees in a way that had him giggling like a fucking kid, “We like your company! We definitely appreciate that you’re putting effort into being less of an asshole but we don’t want you to completely change your personality!”

This was too much. Ted was going to die and his tombstone was going to say Cause of Death: His friends were nice to him and he didn’t know how to handle it.

Of course, that’s exactly when Paul decided to flutter a few fingers against his neck and, “Oh my God was that a snort?!”

Okay. Now he was going to die.

“Fuhuhuhuhuck off Pahahahaul!” And he took that to heart, moving right back to his ribs because he’s an evil monster, “Shitshitshit not thehehehere yohohou dick!”

Paul just talked right over him, “Just accept that we actually like you and your stupid jokes and that you don’t have to completely change yourself into someone you think we’ll like better, because we won’t.”

And Ted really didn’t want to, mostly because he’s not sure how much he believes it, but he also couldn’t take much more of this.

Alright. Fuck it.

“OKAY! Okahahahay you guys lihihike me!”

“And?” Charlotte prompted.

“Ahahand my—HEY! Andmystupidjokes!”

“Annnnnddddd?” Bill swung his arms around, making Ted sway in place.

Shit what was the last one?!

Oh right, “And I dohohon’t have to chahahange myself into sohohomeone I think yohohou’ll like better!”

“Because?” Oh Ted was so going to kill Paul for this when he was free.

“Behehehecause you WON’T! Now let me gohohoho you dihihicks!”

The tickling stopped, and Ted sagged into the couch. Paul wrapped an arm tentatively around his shoulder and he practically melted into the affection, stupid grin still plastered on his face.

Bill came back—when had he left?—and shoved a glass of water into Ted’s hands which he almost immediately downed in between heaving pants.

Charlotte moved in a little closer and started running a hand through Ted’s rumpled hair to smooth it back out and Ted almost passed out there and then.

“You guys suck.” It was unconvincing, the smile and petulant tone saw to that. It’s alright though because Ted didn’t really mean it anyway.

Bill started rewinding the movie to catch up on what they’d missed as he asked, “You doing alright over there? We didn’t kill you or anything?”

Ted just gave him a vague thumbs up which seemed to be enough for him.

“You know that we mean it, right? You’re our friend, Ted.” Paul’s quiet voice had the warmth creeping back into Ted’s face as he grumbled.

“Yeah, yeah. Fucking whatever you saps. Can we watch the movie now?”

But his grin grew a little wider, and if the next time that woman showed up on screen Ted had called out, “She could hallow my ween!” to the mock-dismayed groans of his friends?

Well, they had quite literally asked for it.

[true-blue-sonic]

It's crazy to think that Silver only has seven canon game roles.

Let's see, there is '06, Rivals 1, Rivals 2, Generations, Forces, TSR... Are we counting Colours DS as well? I think it should because my boi is in there XD /j

But yeah! I believe I've once read a theory (I don't remember where, sorry) that it was actually a good thing Silver very swiftly got delegated to minigame-roster-filler and "who owns a PSP anyway?"-character after '06 and the hatred it generated around him: it gave people a chance to warm up to him without putting him too much in the spotlight, helped tremendously by his completely revamped and genuinely fun and fair battle in Gens. I think that, if he'd gotten a mainline role again so shortly after '06 (or even his own game, of which there were apparently signs that was an actual plan in that time?), it would have made people far more resistant to growing to like him. Characters that are shoved in your face endlessly are hard to warm up to if there's something about them you dislike, especially if it comes at the expense of characters that are more beloved. But as history shows, Silver only began to have actual plotline relevancy again almost a decade after his last main big role (Forces, compared to Rivals 2). And in that decade, he didn't fill any roles that made him more important than other characters: in Colours DS he's just one of the dozen characters showing up in the park with nothing special about him, in Generations there's multiple other boss fights with previous rivals and enemies (and Silver's fight is generally considered to be leagues better than what he had in '06, which helps too), and in minigames and racing games he's just there to fill the roster. Thus, when in Forces he actually played a big role, people either enjoyed seeing it because they had time to get used to the character and grow fond of him, or it was enjoyed by more recent fans who knew nothing about '06 and just liked Silver for how he got presented in his handful of minor roles and Forces (like me! I got introduced through the franchise through Mario & Sonic London 2012 3DS). Perhaps there was some help too from a pendulum swing of the fandom at large beginning to appreciate '06 more, after the change in direction the franchise took in the 2010s? Though, I am not knowledgeable on that, I am too young to know what the fandom mentality was like in both eras. So what all that in mind, it's indeed quite wild that Silver has appeared so little in canon games, but I do believe it's a good thing he's shown up a lot in rosters with dozens of other characters as just a playable option who did not have any plot relevance. I wouldn't say Silver is super popular currently, but the sheer hatred the fandom allegedly held for him in the second half of the 2000s is certainly not here anymore. So, who knows what the future might hold for him? I believe SoJ quite likes him, after all. But this all is just a ramble from my side, haha!

[nondienary]

i saw this post sharing designs of the infinights in GL2 and it inspired me to share my own! enjoy (i guess)

and obligatory spoilery rambling warning because character design makes me so happy

starting off strong with kyborg!

details i enjoy- his blue hairties and gold ear cuff are inspired by the ones he has in the picture on the home page of the stinky dragon wiki. im especially happy with the ear cuff because it turned out way better than i expected.

i also really like the arm (and yes i know he doesnt have the diagem in it anymore but it needed some pizazz! said pizazz made me temporarily hate myself because it used up his 4th face accessory slot but i don't even remember what other face accessory i wanted for him anymore :P)

also his boots. idk why but i like them

his hair!! i went through a bunch of styles and chose this one and i'm glad i did because this is a pretty accurate representation of how i imagine his hair, including the color! his mom was a redhead so ya boi is a strawberry blond (ish)

details i do NOT enjoy- the fact that gl2 doesnt have a hip quiver :( because i had to add the quiver to his back but that took up his second cape slot so he couldnt have his cloak of many fashions. and also even if i could give it to him w the back quiver i would still want a hip quiver because i imagine him with a hip quiver! because you can't do somersaults barrel rolls with a quiver on your back!

anyway

i probably should have made these separate posts but oh well you signed up for rambling and rambling is what you get!

next up: mudd!

loml

details i enjoy: his cloak, i spent ages on it because i was overthinking what to do with his cloak of billowing vs his cloak of the secret garden (?) but i'm very happy with what i settled on

the detail in the undercut drove me crazy because again, characters are limited to 4 cace accessory and i was using one for the runes in the undercut. which i obviously changed but that brought me so much pain and misery /lh

im so happy with how his face, especially his eyes turned out because again, i struggled with them for some time. but now his face is SO perfect. except the lack of sideburns.. maybe something with the side hairs? i keep forgetting that's an option in this game

the little daisy earring. spur of the moment addition, so glad i did it.

details i do NOT enjoy: his outfit :( for all the others i knew what i was going for but with mudd i had no clue other than the cloak. it's based off his puppet outfit because i legitimately couldn't think of what he'd wear. i like the shoes and choice of belt but between this and the sideburns mudd is definitely next in line for a redesign

ok someone who was just redesigned is gum gum!

details i enjoy: his face. that is such a gum gum face. wish i couldve added bigger tusks though. and the lil smudge of dirt on his cheek!!!

silly almost easter egg i added is that each of the colors of the rainbow is in his design at least once because dia's whole thing is rainbows and light and stuff. at first i just had it in the accessories and his whole outfit was blue pretty much but i looked at bart after completing all the accessories and i was like GODDAMMIT he has all the colors. and it's actually incorporated into the outfit AND it looks really good.

the fact that vee and i both designed his hat nearly exactly the same completely independently of each other is so epic.

i originally came up with the shoulder flower while working on mudd but i was like "oh wait gum gum's the flowers guy mudd's the animals guy." and gave it to him instead. and i'm very glad i did it fills in that space in the cloak very well.

speaking of the cloak, i very much enjoy it

things i do NOT enjoy:

honest, nothing comes to mind! maybe it's because he was the most recent to get revamped but its so wonderfully gum gum.

and last, and maybe least in stature but not in much else, bart!

things i enjoy about this design: the little thigh dagger. bart is totally the kind of man to strap a dagger to his thigh instead of just attaching the sheath to the belt like a normal person

i made him VERY visibly part dragonborn because it's honestly hilarious. because gum gum has known bart since he was a baby, he knows bart's just Like that. kyborg hadn't interacted with another person in like 30 years before he met them and mudd had probably never seen a halfling in his life, and even if he had, he wasn't just gonna have his first conversation with the guy be "i don't believe you when you say what race you are." tbh mudd's probably applies to kyborg as well. and bart assumed its just because of the different subraces of halfling. he's a stout halfling, alleve is a lightfoot halfling, no wonder she doesn't look like him!

also the hem of the pants is so fun and piratey and i love it and it's perfect.

i also gave him a crystal resembling his diagem, i haven't decided what's going on with that yet. i didn't give mudd one because no way in hell am i trying to make a ring WITH a diagem in it. how about no :3

things i do NOT enjoy: gl2 doesn't have enough curly hair options, specifically for rear hair. so bart's hair in this is not as accurate in this to my mind's eye as the others. its alright it does look good regardless

and that's all ive got in terms of commentary, please enjoy me talking about my silly little hyperfixation guys. byebye!

[spacesymbol]

anyways HI. its been uhh... two weeks since last post but about a month since any actual life updates. so im gonna do... that!

gonna split this one into tumblr specific updates and personal updates since i figure the latter is a little less important to some people. not trying to sound mean there, i get the feeling!

anyways, tumblr specific updates!

the big update is that i completely revamped my carrd. theres a lot more text now, and the layout doesnt look as good on mobile as it does on desktop, but i still like how it looks a lot better than the previous version.

i also added a new tag to my pinned. the tag is just this 📁 emoji, and its sort of a catchall tag for posts about media that i like. since i got rid of alter tags a while ago and i dont really like tagging specific franchises, i figured this works better for now.

my pinned post was also updated to reflect this change, and theres even a new tag guide/explanation!

okay now for the more personal life related updates. theres a LOT you have been warned!

where did i last leave off... right, the delaware trip! okay well i say that as if a lot happened on that trip. which is incorrect.

the only real big thing about the delaware trip was that i was kind of suffering for the whole trip since i had just been put back on adhd medication, and the dosage was WAY too high so my body did not adjust well at all and i was having like horrific symptoms for the whole week. and i wish i could truthfully say that the dosage of that medication is sorted out now but i cant!!!! 🥲

in the four days between the end of the delaware trip and the first day of school i went to a friends belated birthday party... which was the only time i hung out with any of my friends for the entire summer actually. but the party was still fun...!!

the rest of the updates are gonna be school related. since the next significant thing after that party was the first day of senior year.

my classes have all been manageable so far. i think the stress is definitely going to pile up soon with college application deadlines swiftly approaching, but the impending reality of that hasnt really set in yet. it is definitely nice to be taking classes i genuinely enjoy this year, even if the coursework is difficult!

i dont remember how much ive talked about my social standing at school on here but tldr it sucks. i dont have any genuinely close friends or a dedicated friend group that enjoys my presence at all. something something the we should call fiona interview quote... thats basically described my social situation for the past several months.

in terms of theater. hoo boy. well you see, our drama teacher (and shows producer) is on maternity leave. and not only did she switch the order of plays and musicals again (the fall show is a play this year), but she chose two plays for us to do this fall.

basically both shows are one act plays with no real lead roles since the scenes arent connected at all. performances will go like: show one, intermission, show two. and the "no lead roles" thing would be great except for the fact that this is one of my two senior theater productions with this school and i would like the chance to earn bigger roles, you know?

anyways auditions came and went and the cast list was released last thursday. and you will never guess who one of my romantic scene partners is. well. its my ex 😁👍

i mean besides the fact that i have to pretend to swoon over my ex, im really happy with my roles. i got double cast in one of the plays as opposed to one role in each play, and i like the play i got double cast in a lot better. and i only auditioned with two scenes from that play, and got cast in both of those scenes that i auditioned with, so i assume the director really liked my auditions?

also one of the scenes im in (not the one with my ex) is fully just an internalized homophobia turned "dude i think i love you" scene and its just SUCH a good scene. i really like my scenes and characters, i am just rightfully worried about rehearsing a romantic scene with my ex for two months...! but it will be fine. probably

okay this is getting REALLY long but uhhh general not-life-related updates.

undertale day!!! we split a chara less than 24 hours after the newsletter dropped 👍

my cats fifth birthday was last wednesday!!!!!! i could write a whole essay about how much this tiny beast means to me but just know i love her lots okay?

okay. okay. i THINK thats everything i have to say. uhh this is the part of the post where i talk about future tumblr updates and status.

idk. idk!!!!!!!!! the stress and busyness of senior year is kind of starting to get to me a bit so i might just disappear for a few months. or maybe ill continue updates every couple of weeks or every month.

i definitely want to return to posting here as regularly as i used to, but i always either avoid it for some reason or have other things i need to be doing instead. so whos to say how active ill be! i definitely dont know!

[aurelim]

How Far Did Aurie Get on Her WIPs? (11/15/23)

Hello! Welcome to the November 2023 special edition of "How Far Did Aurie Get On Her WIPs?" Let's see how "far" she has gotten!

I am fifteen days behind, but better late than never, right? Right!

I haven't done much this past month, especially considering the new game that Alby and I released taking up literally every second of free time that I had during the entire month of October.

ACTUALLY, if you want, you can go check out the game over on itch.io! Here is the game and here is the intro post. Enjoy!

Needless to say, I have no major updates on my games. Although...

I got covid last week, actually! If you know and follow ST4RDOM's account, you likely already know this.

For the sake of my mind, I'll copy and paste what I wrote that's relevant to this:

This is actually my first time getting covid, or at least testing positive. It hit me really hard (like I was close to 104°F, which is 40°C) and I swear for three entire days I was just sleeping. It's been exactly a week since I felt those symptoms, and though I am still testing positive I feel much better and more in the mood to write! Though I can't say I have done much on ST4RDOM 😅 I was working on another project of mine just yesterday (which was my first time actually touching my computer ever since I got sick and writing), and I nearly fell asleep doing so lol

I still have brain fog, also. It wasn't in this quote, but I have brain fog thanks to covid and unfortunately I still have it, so progress on ATOL and all other games will be slower than normal until I can get my brain rebooted.

So I haven't done much, other than coding and writing this upcoming project of mine (which is listed in the masterpost lol). I first created the first draft back in January and just recently I've upgraded the UI and rewritten parts of the prologue. Which was yesterday.

Sweet! Now it's further ahead than ST4RDOM, which I literally created an account for because I thought I was going to have that game done soon. (Though I already had the original prologue, so all I'm doing is revamping it 😅)

Anyways, this game was originally meant to be my MAIN main game; the one I am meant to throw every coding skill I know into it. So I think that is why.

That's all from me, I think. I can't think of anything at the moment, so I am going to sign out now 🫡 hope you all have a good day, and stay safe from covid.

See you all on the next episode of "How Far Did Aurie Get On Her WIPs?" :)

[garciaasfluffypen]

bright beginnings pt 7.

pairing: single dad!joseph quinn x fem!reader  wc: 1.5k  warnings: none

part six • part eight

a/n: IM SORRY IM SORRY I DIDNT NOTICE THIS WENT INTO THE BOTTOM OF MY QUEUE BECAUSE MY DUMBASS DIDNT SCHEDULE THE POST anyway enjoy a joe pov as a lil treat

being holed up in an office all day was not something joseph anthony francis quinn had figured would be in his books. but he found himself taking over the daycare he had devoted his life to, making it his lifes mission to revamp it from the inside out and make it better.

from his short time as owner, there were a gazzilion things he would like to change, including some staffing issues that were bothering him. out of the ten girls that worked there, y/n, destiny and claire were the three girls who were full time, meaning that they got the bulk of the hours. that had to change. there were two girls who dropped, saying they didn't have time to work much due to university, which left eight girls left to work. meaning if he split all the bulk of the hours with the three full timers… that left the part time girls jack shit. he felt horrible only giving some of the girls only ten hours a week, but there was only so much he could do without making more of them full time. he had been stuck in the office for about three hours now trying different versions of the schedule to figure out what would make the girls happy. bringing the full timers down from 45 to 32 opened up a chunk of hours he could divvy out between the other girls based on their availability, which could make it a bit easier. four of the eight girls had tight schedules due to uni, meaning he could potentially get a few more girls who were requesting more hours the hours they wanted.

but that was a headache for another day.

shutting his laptop, joe decided to step out into the playroom, where y/n was in charge of today. it was his idea to start having the girls rotate through the rooms, so that way all the kids could get acclimated to each staff member in case there needed to be any sort of coverage. so far, it seemed to be working well, especially because the twins started to open up to a few of the other girls rather than just sticking to y/n’s side all day. granted, days in the playroom were the harder days, because all riley and thomas wanted to do was play with her. it’s what started joe talking to them every day before coming in to remind them that yes, you can play with y/n but you need to let the other boys and girls play with her too. it went well for approximately five minutes before he realized they were wholeheartedly attached to her, and by god if he didn’t do something about it the twins would hate him forever.

he had to admit, she was cute. if it wasn’t for him being caught up in a messy divorce, he totally would have already asked you out on a date. but he had to hold himself off, knowing that julia would one hundred percent use that against him because that’s the kind of person she was. he didn’t know why they had even gotten together in the first place, not counting the fact that she wanted to appease her mother. set-up relationships never ended up working well, he found, and most of them reminded him of HR relationships- the ones you could always tell were fake. the ones that made people think love was real, only to shatter them to pieces when it came out that surprise, your faves weren’t actually together.

love was most definitely not that. and not what he had with julia.

before he could go down that wormhole again, his phone buzzed.

[ grace!! - 3:30pm ] joeee what are you doing tonight???? i miss youuuuuu

grace was one of his best friends from school. he and wesley had taken her under their wing the second she stepped into LAMDA, and the three of them had become inseparable. she had moved to london from america to pursue acting, considering it was one of the best acting schools in the world. joe definitely missed being on stage, but he had made the promise to himself that he would make more of an effort to provide for his kids, since acting could wait until they were a bit older.

[ 3:31pm ] do you miss me, or miss the kids? lol [ grace!! - 3:32pm ] obviously you, you’re my bestie! [ grace!! - 3:32pm ] but seriously what are you doing, rehearsal was canceled tonight [ 3:33pm ] not much, probably watching frozen with the kids and trying to avoid watching steve and maggie. you wanna pop over for tea? xx [ grace!! - 3:33pm ] is that even a question??? i’ll be there at five :)

looking over at the clock, joe figured he could pop out to the floor for about an hour before taking the twins home. saturdays were pretty light if he were being honest, so it probably wouldn’t be that big of a deal if he left a few hours earlier. most of the kids were gone by six anyway, so him leaving an hour early shouldn’t be horrid.

and then he could talk about his crush on y/n.

grace was there through the whole julia ordeal, meaning she knew all the ups and downs and the ahem “marriage” that julia’s mother basically shoved down joe’s throat, placing the ring in his hand and telling him to “get a goddamn move on”. yes, the loves of his life came out of it, but he hated julia and her dramatics and the need to make the divorce so much more than it needed to be. it was driving him up the walls, including the stupid custody agreement they were working on. he was doing his best to keep a level head, but it was getting to the point where he wasn’t sure what he was going to do. but grace was the level headedness he needed, always helping him figure everything out with wording and when to meet with lawyers and everything. she was definitely a light in his life, and he loved her to bits.

but his real loving nature was saved for y/n.

not that she’d ever get with him. he could always pretend that she was indeed flirting back with him. because while he really liked her, he was her boss. there were so many issues with that. but he also owned the daycare. and they didn’t have an HR person because it was a mom and pop shop. hell, he literally runs the facebook page. he could do whatever he wanted, right? … right?

“daddy!”

joe held his arms out as riley and thomas ran up to him, almost tackling him to the ground with their combined force.

“my angels! how has your day been?”

riley looked up at joe with her adorable little doe eyes. “daddy come play?”

“i gotta go talk to some of the lovely ladies a bit, but then we’re gonna go see grace!”

“grace comin?”

“yes, grace is coming for tea.”

out of the corner of his eye, joe noticed y/n turn away and start picking up in the playroom, trying to busy herself and not pay attention to the conversation. of course he would go and mention grace in front of her, after flirting with her so openly. just his fucking luck.

“grace bring wes?” thomas’ face lit up in excitement at the idea of two of his favorite people coming over.

“wes is at work, bub. he’ll come tomorrow, okay?”

“otay.”

“let me go say hi to the girls before we pop out, okay? go play with the toys.”

as joe rose from his crouching position, he noticed that y/n was stuck in the storage closet. stupidly, he decided to go around to all the other classrooms before coming back to the playroom to check on her before they popped out. the other girls were doing okay, which was good to hear. everything seemed to be going good since the rotation started, and it was showing. he stepped back into the playroom to gather riley and thomas, noticing that destiny was in, y/n being nowhere in sight. upsetting as that was for him, he did promise the kids that he would get them home to see grace. and besides, he really needed to talk to someone about his crush on y/n.

the ride home wasn’t as bad as he thought it would be, and the twins were relatively quiet but bubbling with excitement as they got closer and closer to the flat. soon as they saw grace’s car in the driveway, they started giggling and screaming, and joe couldn’t help but chuckle. grace held out her arms as the kids ran into them, picking them both up with ease and swinging around in a circle. she smiled at joe as he grabbed the bags from the passenger seat and took them inside, setting stuff down in the front room and taking them all into the kitchen to get the tea ready.

“so, who is she?”

“what?”

“you only wear your nice shirt anywhere when there’s someone you want to impress.” grace raised an eyebrow. “so who are you trying to impress, joe?”

joe sighed. “we’ve got a lot to catch up on.”

“oh, i bet.”

[katz-cradle]

‘ ———･❪ ✮ ❫ ･——— ’

‘ ———･❪ ✮ ❫ ･——— ’

HAHA NEXT GEN KNIGHT V3 >:33 , I decided 2 revamp my fankids 2 make them better in my opinion I also had to remove some ppl bc they didn't add anything,,, but we get a new person :D

Anyways their personalities are under the cut bc it's a lot, read if u wanna but I love them <33

Reize ; “Growing a lot from his younger years, Reize is an ambitious and kindhearted man who does his best to make everyone happy however he can, somebody you can go to for advice or a helping hand. He's very protective due to his past and will go to great lengths to not repeat any mistakes he or his family has made in the past.”

Illusion Knight ; “Growing up only with her mother, Illusion Knight doesn't understand others at all, being unnerving towards most along with her scarily familiar appearance. She's very curious and seems to stay in her own little world most of the time, despite that she's friendly to most folks in her own ways if only a little cautious with them.”

Spear Knight ; “Spear Knight tries his best to be a successor to his parents, being a confident caring person towards those in the Valley. In reality that's a facade, he gets easily nervous and is constantly trying to one up everyone else for his own sake.”

Night Knight ; “Night Knight always seems to be tired, being slow and vacant most of the time; however that doesn't stop her from doing whatever she wants, being energetic when she wants. They're confident yet clumsy in their abilities and is a genuinely good fighter when they're not sleeping.”

Pegasus Knight ; “Pegasus Knight is an energetic performer enjoying being in the spotlight and entertaining the people in the valley, she loves being the joke of it all finding joy in laughing and being laughed at. She's naturally charming and flamboyant doing anything to get attention or else she'll die (not a exaggeration)”

Vamp Knight ; “Vamp Knight is melodramatic and gloomy fitting with his aesthetic he's anti social and likes to brood in public, however most of this is a obvious facade. While she enjoys the persona, in private she's as charming and chatty as her sister.”

Remedy Knight ; “Remedy Knight is a paranoid skittish mess not being made for battle, but due to their caring and gentle nature they try to help others by working on healing potions almost constantly. It keeps to itself and is very careful though that never works due to how easily it gets startled.”

Selkie Knight ; “Selkie Knight is an intimidating and ruthless pirate doing what she wants and when she wants being cold and calculated in everything she does, while she has stronger walls if you manage to break them down she's relatively sweet but protective of those she cares for. Most will never see that side of her.”

Sludge Knight ; “Sludge Knight is an adventurous person being timid but kind hearted, he’s very much a follower and is a quick thinker in most circumstances though his awkwardness can trip him up when it comes to helping people. Despite his hiccups he tries to be as friendly and helpful as possible.”

Ask me about them if u wanna,,, I promise 2 have some more 2 read about them soon!!

[solesurvivorkat]

Here Comes the Sun! (Doo doo doo doo!)

I'm beyond tired of ME saying it all the time, but I have not died, disappeared, or given up!

Longer story short: holidays were hectic but good, and I FINALLY got to start my new position within the company I work for - and though I'm only on my 2nd day of training so far, it's amazing the difference I feel!

It's like a huge weight has been lifted off of my back/shoulders/chest. I'm not stressed at work, I'm not anxious, my trainer is like, the sweetest, most patient and welcoming woman, I'm enjoying all that I'm learning so far and am eager to learn some more, I look forward to the future in my new job, I really think it'll be a much better fit for me and my life, and I hope to be here for a long time to come!

It's nothing personal at all against my previous coworkers... but you ever feel like you're just not you at your job? Like it's turning into someone you don't recognize and/or like? My prior position wasn't an awful one (I've had jobs that were soooo much worse), and it wasn't inherently difficult - but I was doing a lot on my own w/ next to no help (not my coworkers' fault, they had their own duties to do), and it felt like I was on a never-ending treadmill with no end in sight. It was just... so discouraging.

I know I'm still in the 'honeymoon stage' of my new position, and it won't always be perfect/'fun'/easy/etc... but I'm so happy to be here (so far) and it's amazing what a difference I feel now (like a '180').

ANYWAY - I feel like I FINALLY have some decent time to devote to 'Shadow of Steel' again, and am actually getting some MUCH-needed work done on it today! I really, really hope to have a chunk of the 'slightly updated', revamped previous chapters up on Ao3 relatively soon!

As for my other fics... well... I'll be 100% honest, I don't know if I'll ever finish 'The Book of John'. ...Which is really a shame, b/c I seriously had so many plans & creative ideas for that fic (plus, I totally wanted to explore the slow burn that would be John & Sarah in that fic). I'm not 100% cancelling it out just yet, but I'd say it's definitely in the 'limbo/chopping block' area of my writing plans. :-(

'I Need to Tell You' - same as above. I'd say it's around 2/3 of the way finished, so I would really like to complete this one (especially since it's more plausible for John & Sarah to have a happy ending in this one, LOL)... but I don't know yet if it'll happen. We'll see, I guess?

Thank you for hanging in there and waiting patiently, those of you that did... but if you haven't, I don't blame you one bit - but I'd like to hope that you'll give me another chance (someday, heh).

.....And in my mind, Arthur Maxson is waiting outside my door with a baseball bat - since his much-liked girlfriend has been kidnapped for forever now, and he really doesn't appreciate my excuses, LOL. *XD

[causticacoustic]

Are you a procrastinator? 👀

do you have any tips on how to get on the grind and actually do things?

how do you get along with people 🤯😀❓

you mentioned that there was a time where BEAST was mentally bad for you, how did you control it or get past it?

What's your biggest turn off?

What do you do when a friend or someone wrongs you?

no pressure ask btw!

only answer what u feel like answering and if u feel like it xD ♥️

I am actually procrastinating right now-

hello wakanai!! funny seeing you here on my main blog! i love your no pressure asks, but for future reference, this blog is preeeettty inactive, and i really need to revamp it into a directory for all the sideblogs i use. in the future, i'd prefer you send asks to @cousticks or @justified-or-just-obscene since those are the ones i post the most on!! there's more content on those ones anyway so it'd be more fun! i have a lot of blogs, i know. that's only three of like, six. tysm for following me on other blogs though its fun to have the little mutuals tag next to a name

anyway, asks!! a read more since, as usual, i rambled quite a bit <3

I am a huge procrastinator. its a problem. its gotten me into trouble before. but, lets talk about procrastination a bit, especially since there's usually a lot of guilt around it. sure, procrastination can just be procrastination, but not always! sometimes there's other things going on, be it having a hard time getting out of a fixation mindset, stress and anxiety freezing your brain to the point you can't work, a lack of understanding on a certain step making you not want to work on it, or just... being something that sucks for you being really difficult to work on or do. or just something that takes a lot of mental energy you don't actually have because you used it all just functioning as a person in your day-to-day life. all of these have happened to me, and i wrote them off as "procrastination" and got frustrated with myself, ultimately making the problem worse until panic took over and i got something done. sometimes if you're having trouble starting a project you need to take inventory of yourself and figure out where that road block is happening, and try to take care of yourself before you can take care of your assignments.

i guess tips to "actually do things" kind of follows from my procrastinator bit above, haha. as i said, sometimes you really need to take stock of yourself and allow yourself some grace. or find a kind of music that really pumps you up, or find a way to reward yourself. unfortunately the 'reward' bit requires the mental discipline to... not just skip straight to the reward instead of doing your tasks. it doesn't always work, but for at least smaller chore-like tasks, such as taking out the trash or doing dishes, i kind of mentally go "alright. we really need to do this thing. ready? three... two... one... up." and then just. get up. i experience a lot of what i consider "mental inertia." you know, objects at motion tend to stay in motion, objects at rest tend to stay at rest. the hardest part of starting anything is actually starting it. the hardest part of doing my chores is actually getting up to do them, but once i'm at it, i can usually accomplish more than i originally planned, because i'm already in motion so... might as well. as far as assignments, that's harder, especially when its things you have to sit down and do. don't underestimate the power of a small mental reset. get up, take a small walk around the room, go get a drink of water, use the restroom, take a deep breath, find one (1) song that pumps you up and stand in the middle of the room with your eyes closed and just listen to it for a second. don't do anything else. deep breath and breathe and listen to something you enjoy. you might be surprised at how much better you feel after doing a quick reset. or, if getting up and walking around isn't an option for you, open a new page or a new word document or google doc whatever it is. start doodling or writing or typing stream-of-consciousness style. whatever comes into your head. just things like "alright. lets get some words going. lets do this assignment. lets go. words. we can do this. i know how to do this assignment, even if i'm not doing it yet." blah blah blah. just get yourself moving and writing some words, even if they're nonsense. its okay. that will help get over the inertia hurdle and slowly focus your mind back onto your task. i can't promise any of this helps, but its some tricks that worked in the past!! remember: you can't expect yourself to do anything when you're too stressed or exhausted to focus. let yourself rest to do your best.

its funny you think i know how to get along with people. if you ever figure that out, let me know lmao. but on a more serious note, getting along with people is generally having an open mind. and, oddly enough, expanding your interests or base knowledge on a lot of things so its easier to find common ground with someone. an odd example, but i used to work at a hotel and liked to chat with the guests. tangentially, this is when some of my car bro friends were really getting me into cars. eventually i knew enough to at least have a conversation on the topic, even if it wasn't super in-depth. funnily enough, having base knowledge on cars was able to help me carry conversations with old white guys that checked into the hotel, lmao. point being, the more you know and the more you're open to learning, the easier it is to find common ground with people, be it information or experiences. and the more people you meet and have conversations with, the easier it is. if there's one thing working retail since i was a teenager has taught me, its that eventually you'll develop scripts for things. even normal small-talk conversations, you'll have built-in responses. knowing about clothes, i can comment something nice about someone's outfit, then follow the conversation with more specific information like "oh yeah, i saw a pattern kind of like that at x store, i thought about buying it in a different color for a while! glad to see you living my sweater dreams, haha." that's a kind of quirky example, but i hope you get the gist. just... remember that people exist, and have experiences. my default first question with new people is always about their favorite music or artists, because that's something i know a lot about. you can learn a lot about people from their favorite tunes.

i won't get too in detail about it, but the Beast novel was really bad for me for a while because i have those cool and fun mental problems that give me unhealthy attachments to fiction, especially when i'm in a bad place mentally. i eventually realized i was engaging with fiction in an unhealthy way, and i just... cut myself off. i had to do my best to avoid beast content, eventually to the point i had to avoid anything bsd at all for almost a year, just because i was engaging with fiction in a way that was actually really bad for me. i had to make new social media accounts so i had clean algorithms that didn't show me content, i had to stop listening to music i associated with characters, it was a full hard stop on everything. it took a lot of self-awareness that i wasn't used to having. this was because of some life circumstances, though. i had to remove myself from the real-life circumstances that were putting me in a bad spot before i could really trust myself to engage with any of my fixations again without messing myself up. Beast happened to be the worst for me because its also such an unhappy media to begin with, and i project heavily onto Chuuya, who... y'know, doesn't exactly get a great ending. I'm doing fine now, but there was a time a lot of factors came together to mess me up and i had to remove all of it before i could be alright enough to engage with the things i enjoy.

Honestly, I'm not sure what puts me off people the most. If the vibes someone has are rancid, I avoid them. Generally, blaming others for things they aren't responsible for is a big problem for me. Sure, call people out for things they've actually done, but calling people liars or whatever for shit they haven't actually done or are out of their control but you're just assuming is their fault? That's a goddamn problem. Or people who just kind of... assume the world is out to get them all the time, I guess. Who assume the worst of people at first glance. Everyone is out here just living their lives. Don't take other people's problems personally. Its not about you.

Unfortunately for myself, I usually ignore it or brush it off when someone I consider a friend does something wrong towards me. I don't recommend it. At least, until it builds up bad enough I start to hate them and then I just ghost people. Again, not exactly a good plan nor is it healthy. What you should do is communicate boundaries and cut off anyone who jumps all over those boundaries like its a trampoline park. That's the healthy way to go about it. I'm not exactly the healthiest person, though. Don't take me as an example on how to handle people doing you wrong.

[shinonart]

Hello, hope you're doing well ^w^

Just had a quick question on etsy shop availability. I'm hoping to eventually get the galactic animal sticker sheet set of 3; it's had the low in stock status for a little bit so I was wondering what your usual restock schedule or w/e might be? (I guess it's not a super important question, I'm just trying to decide what to get when it's payday lol)

Anyway. Your art is beautiful and fascinating and I'm always happy when I see it on my dash. Thank you for sharing your work ♥

Hello,

Thank you for your message!

The sticker sheets have been revamped a little bit. The old ones were A6 sized and had five stickers each but my latest restock of them is A5 sized, the stickers are a little bit larger and there are now more designs on each sheet. They will have the same five designs as the old sheets but also a few extras!

I have yet to add these to my shop but I hope to get around to it soon! I will make a post about it.

The remaining old sticker sheets are all in my shop so if they are something you want to grab no better moment than the present to do so. Once the A6 sheets are out I don't know if there will be a reprint, most likely not.

Thank you very much for the kind words! It makes me happy to hear you enjoy my art. I hope you have a wonderful weekend!

[ritualofcirice]

This Story Is in Dire Need of a New Title Now It Has Been Revamped. And Tagora Still Needs to Fix His Hive. (Tagora x Reader)

🐑 ♡ Thank you Sycamore for beta'ing this one for me, it's been a big help ♡🐑

Tagora's hive is wrecked, but you're there to help.

Teen and Up Audiences, No Warnings, F/M, M/M, Other/M, Tag(s): Hurt/Comfort, Domestic Fluff, Established Relationship, Flushed Romance | Matesprits, Chores and Lists, Ambiguous Gender Reader, Ambiguous Species Reader, POV Second Person

Find it on ao3 ♡ WC: 2,210

“We both deserve a little compensation for all of this. *______” Tagora sighed.

He gestured towards the wreckage to exemplify 'this'. 'This' was left by the drone that had been searching for a mutant of some sort, and said mutant had not been hidden in his hive. That much was for certain, but the drone had made sure to check the entirety of the space with their own unchecked destruction.

Simply put, most civilised trolls could operate a door handle. Meanwhile, a drone used any sort of explosive or weapon to remove the door and its surrounding area to get in. Not that it mattered given they would then proceed to obliterate anything else in their way. That included and was not limited to: furniture, crucial parts of the hive’s structure, expensive goods, and much cared for lusii equipment.

One look from a critical eye would have been able to tell that there was no room for a mutant - or otherwise - to hide. Tagora’s whole hive aesthetic touched upon chic chaos after all, and it would not be ideal for a deadly game of hide and seek. Too many things to knock over. Too many things in the places you might have hidden. Again, this did not matter.

It had been three days since you had both started to try and clean the mess, and you had made it nowhere. The only good thing to come of it was the additional time you got to spend with Tagora. Since his place was trashed, you’d offered for him to stay at yours. It took some convincing, but he warmed up to the idea after he had tried to relax in the new, open plan demolition site.

This wasn’t to say you were happy his hive was in such a state, no. It was a mess. A bad one. But you had enjoyed a lot of pamper sessions to help him unwind, and to have him snuggled by your side during your rest… It was safe to say you would be making those arrangements with him once his hive was fixed up.

“What am I doing today then?” you asked. Tagora pursed his lips and pulled out a sheet of folded paper from his pocket. He muttered under his breath as he opened it up and placed a finger against the surface. It traced each day, until he found the right one, then moved to your name. Inside of the box read all of the tasks he had delegated you.

“Let’s see, today you need to brush up the rubble in the other room and throw out anything too broken to be saved,” Tagora said. “And please, if you don’t know, ask me this time.”

You pulled on your gloves and nodded to let him know you’d caught all of it. Then, with a wave, you headed over to one of the broken entryways. "Oh-” you choked, fingers slid around the part of the wall that separated you both. “I'm here to help, so you better remember that too. What are you doing today anyway?”

He looked like someone held him at knife point, his plans disturbed before they had even been put into motion. A harsh breath rasped in his throat, and his jaw hung slack.

“Well,” Tagora managed, “I.” He stopped, and in a blur, the paper was pulled from his pocket again. You had broken him.

“I’m in charge of contacting the proper authorities about repairs, general cleaning, ordering, and any additional redecoration for the previous two rooms we’ve completed. Depending on shipment, we might get them finished before the sunrise. It might mean a trip out, however.” He had chewed on each ‘might’ with equal amounts of venom each time. Given his position right in the centre of the hemospectrum, delivery was always a game of roulette, and he had a flawless prediction rate.

You reassured him once more that you wouldn’t mind tagging along if he needed to go. The paper dropped from his face, and he was a pretty shade of teal.

“There isn’t a need for you to come along,” he huffed, “but I would appreciate an escort. *______” There was a softness to his words that left you with a grin. You gave him another wave and headed to your duties.

Rubble weighed heavy on your shoulders, and after some time, each bent back or lifted object caused pain to shoot up your spine. It seared hot within each bundle of nerves. The odd graze or cut you had sustained stung, and you had taken a break to pull out numerous splinters. Still, the place started to clean up.

Aside from the wall, the damage was minimal. Most of the rubble that had been scattered across the room had dodged the majority of the furniture. That left you with an easier second job once the floor wasn’t a wreck. You even dusted up some of the finer cleaning that needed to be done, even if it wasn’t on your schedule. Tagora could complain all he liked when he found out, but the delegation of chores and tasks list could never comprehend your occasional affectionate gestures.

You knew in the end he appreciated it. Especially in the given circumstances.

Lost in reminiscence, you allowed yourself to stew over images of Tagora’s head on your lap. You stroked his hair whilst he told you how much you made things seem easy. Calm. Relaxed. A pocket of joy in a never ending cycle of anxiety fueled torment.

Alternia was a nightmare, and so you shared your duties with kindness in mind.

The same kindness that called to you to swaddle Tagora in your arms the moment you saw him again. You had picked up a broken lamp, and after a look over you couldn’t decide whether to scrap it or not. It worked, but the shade was in a state of disrepair. The same you found your matesprit.

His features were obscured by a thick tangle of hair which he had woven each of his fingers into. He held it tight, and you could make out the tension from where each strand pulled at his skin. This image wasn't long lived though. At the sound of your entry his head whipped up. Embarrassment crossed his face, and his attention diverted near immediately to the side.

That was the signal. Lamp abandoned beside him, your arms were free to catch him in an embrace. At first, his embarrassment heightened, and you felt him tense within your grasp. A single look from his eye might have betrayed murderous intent, but this soon eased. Usually, you would break away after a second or two when this happened. Tagora had other ideas.

Horns fought for dominance in the tight space between your arms and chest. You had to dip down to his level to embrace him; your arms navigated to his neck to avoid any sharp pokes. Tagora had refused to let you see his face in the transition. Instead, he snuggled tight into your shoulder.

His grip overwhelmed you, and a surge of worry coursed through your veins. He clung to you as if you were the one thing to keep him afloat on a stormy sea. The terrors below circled him on those waters while he fought a losing battle.

A sharp hiss sounded too close to your ear, and you jumped from fright. Tagora let out a ‘hiccup’. A sort of tie between a sob and an irritated exhale of air. The result caused him to force you away, allowing him to fold his arms around himself.

Eye contact still avoided, you took in the state of your matesprit. He chewed on his lip, which bled the same colour as the tears that fell down his cheeks. He passed one sly glance your way. But he didn’t make an effort to clean himself up. No, he continued to hold himself in what became a tight ball of limbs.

“I hate all of this,” Tagora began. You nestled yourself beside the chair, and tapped on his closest leg. He lowered it to a spot where you placed your chin on top. With a reassuring pat from your hand, you opted to maintain the contact he had welcomed.

“I hate all of this,” Tagora repeated, “and by all of this I mean the ridiculous excrement this planet pushes out. I didn’t ask to have my hive destroyed. I didn’t want my hive to be destroyed, but oh no, my hive was destroyed anyway!” He continued to rant in a chorus of heated anguish and rage. He spoke fast, but with all the purpose he needed to project his frustrations. Even if you didn’t catch everything, you knew what he was trying to say.

A hand soon found your head as he lost himself in his exasperation, and he stroked your hair without a single spared thought.

“Five thousand sweeps wouldn’t be enough time to clean up the catastrophic societal mess we live in, and I’ve got to take the next hundred to tidy my hive! Nobody will apologise to me, nobody will make up for it, nobody will give me a single shred of recompense. Neither will I get back the precious time I am wasting when my finances rely on my presentability to potential clients. Nobody will work with someone who is missing half of their hive! What is this?

“Forget that, I know what it is, a mess. That is exactly what it is. A mess. A huge mess. ‘Hello prospective client, ignore the huge hole in the side of my hive, I’m redecorating’. I don’t think I could pull that off. Although…” Tagora trailed off and swiped the blood from his lip. He looked at it with a weary eye, then smudged it between his fingers in an attempt to get rid of it.

After the tears were wiped away, he cradled his chin between his thumb and index finger in that signature GorGor style. He muttered about the potential to up his fees, play on the discomfort of a troll that poured out their heart, or set up his office elsewhere for now. It would be your hive, you were informed, if he did relocate for a time.

You’d love that, but he didn’t need to know. You were both deep in red romance territory without the added fluff. His hand had remained firm on your head, and you lapped up the affection. All the while, you looked up at him as the light returned to his eyes. There was a twinkle of mischievousness that sparked from deep within.

Claws scratched at your scalp. Tagora's attention was focused on you. After so much talk, he had fallen silent. Teal had seeped across his features again, and no amount of empathy could decipher his expression. What he felt was a mystery to you until he smiled.

He leant down. With care he enveloped your head in a nest of arms, hair, soft kisses, and affection. Everything was dark inside of your lover's embrace. It was a darkness you could slip into comfortably. Wallow.

“If you’re going to relocate the office, why don’t you do that next time instead of coming here? I don’t mind tidying up if you want to get yourself sorted. Work might make you feel better,” you said.

Tagora let out a gentle hum to let you know he had heard you. Then he told you he would think about it. He didn’t want to leave you to deal with 'this'. It seemed like an unfair distribution of responsibilities. Besides, who would be there to comfort him if he had a meltdown?

He drew back from you, and he cleared his throat. In no time at all, he returned to his upright position. Tagora, who buised himself with sorting out any wardrobe malfunctions, seemed ready to return to his chores. Meanwhile, you vacated his legs and returned to your feet. One of your hands grasped at the table edge to steady yourself, but it remained there as you leant across and placed a well earned kiss on Tagora’s cheek.

He scrunched up his face in mock disgust, eyes narrowed as he stared you down.

“This is valuable time you’re wasting. It seems one of us might not be pulling their weight in this partnership, *______” Tagora said. You pressed a knuckle into his arm and fixed a strand of hair for him. His hands shot up towards it, and he began to fuss over it up like you had ruined everything.

“Sorry boss, I’ll get back to it,” you teased. “There’s a lamp there for you. You decide if it needs to go.” You placed another kiss on his forehead and admired how Tagora’s smile grew a little wider.

“Maybe you can add a break onto the list too, I want to see if the ablution trap is in working order to give some care to my matesprite.”

The scratch of a pen on newly unfolded paper told you that the break was added in. All you had to do was finish up your jobs, and bit by bit, Tagora would find some normality again.

His lusii too. The poor thing hated your hive.

[definitely-not-a-wasp]

Do you think Angels shape-shifting is worth keeping if executed differently?

Short answer: no. Angel already has so much going on with her, shape-shifting feels like a cheap bit, and I'm generally picky with shape-shifting— in fact, I'm so picky that I eliminated Eraser shapeshifting all together in my rewrite.

Now, that being said, I'm aware that that answer is absolutely no fun, so I'm going to try to figure out how Angel's shapeshifting could be executed better, and maybe the rest of the flock's powers, too.

Speaking from a general perspective, I have some major problems with Maximum Ride superpowers, and they're as-follows:

They just HAPPEN. There's no trigger, there's no effort on the flock's part to "unlock" them, and there's no explanation given.

They're often these one-off powers that don't maintain narrative significance or further explanations.

Most of the time, they have absolutely no drawbacks.

And looking at Angel's shapeshifting specifically, there are more issues:

Shapeshifting is one of those powers that feels supernatural instead of scientific to me. This is entirely a personal opinion and completely subjective, but for some reason it feels out of place in a scifi book unless it is something established very early on as something within scientific possibility, and not in book 8

Angel already has so many OP powerups, she absolutely does not need more.

With this being said, I think there are a few ways that I could enjoy Angel's shapeshifting (because you asked about MY opinions, and therefore you get to be subjected to Wasp's opinion corner):

A. Link it to The Angel Experiment, and link it to the other shapeshifters in the series (Erasers). She starts shapeshifting as a direct result of experimentation that happened to her at the School, and it comes with the same pain and mental disregulation that shapeshifting causes Ari. This means that it's introduced very early in the series, and feels less disjointed because there's a parallel to Erasers right there. I'd also stick firmly to Eraser-esque morphing, where it's partial at best and, like Ari, looks frankenstein-esque.

B. Link it to StW, when Angel “turns” on them, which still gives it a connection to the School and everything mentioned in part A, with the extra bonus of her undergoing that experimentation willingly, partially for the sake of the con and partially to gain more power.

C. Throw Scifi out the window, lean full into uncanny valley, and slowly reveal throughout the series that Angel is something that's pretending to be human. This would involve a complete plot overhaul, but it's not like Maximum Ride had a cohesive plot, so it could work! Leaning out of scifi and into fantasy, because it's not like there's a hard line between them anyway, solidify that Max and co. were created to save the world from a fantastical threat, not a human one. Then, as the series goes on, slowly reveal that unlike the rest of them, Angel was not a human-animal hybrid created by the School, but something distinctly other that was found by them (and experimented on). By the time she starts shapeshifting, it's not a miraculously gained power, but instead Angel throwing in the rag at the whole "pretending to be human" thing. And from there, Max has to figure out if she's going to count Angel as a threat to the world she's supposed to save or grind her heels in and refuse to stop treating her as her little sister.

And this is already getting long, so I'll do a breakdown/revamp of everyone's powers elsewhere.