#anyway yesterday i was at a concert and before going inside everyone's bag was checked and we were being pat down

[tkbrokkoli]

passed to a stranger for the first time ever yesterday c:

[carnationcreation]

Can you do a fem reader x carrie where the reader is one of the tech people at a concert 👉👈

TITLE: Help (Carrie Wilson x reader)

✌🏻Masterlist Taglist, Requests, and Works in progress!

Please check bio to see if requests are open before sending any in!

Request: (Tumblr) Can you do a fem reader x carrie where the reader is one of the tech people at a concert 👉👈

(Wattpad @thelizziebooks) Ok so the reader is often abused by her father because her mother left at a young age. Not to mention she’s also bullied by Carrie (sorry Savannah. Love her) notices her wince one day and asks her about it. That’s all I got.

Prompt/summary: Carrie confronts the reader about her dad after the school play.

Word Count: 1,659 

Authors Note: I decided to combine these requests! <3 and woahhhh I didn’t intend for it to be this long whoops :)

***Warning*** mentions of abuse and bullying, please read with caution and if you’re experiencing anything like this please reach out for help! Stay safe y’all.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Behind the scenes of school plays always got chaotic.

I tried my best to keep everything on track, being stage manager and all. Occasionally something crazy would happen that was just completely out of my control.

Today was one of those crazy days.

"Guys please don't hang off the set pieces! Can y'all move those boards over there? Arnold what have I told you about touching props that aren't yours? Go put it back EXACTLY where it came!"

It was officially opening night, call time was at 5 and most of the cast had shown up on time except for a select few.

"Nick said he was going to be a little late, car troubles."

I huffed and turned to Sophia the lighting director, "Fine. Tell him he better be in his costume as soon as he walks in, no messing around beforehand we're going to be pushing showtime anyways."

I turned back around to the soundboard to finish mic checks with my sound assistant.

It was finally 30 minutes till showtime. Everyone was in the dressing room getting ready or in the hallway behind the auditorium doing last minute rehearsals before the curtain went up.

"Hey girls," I said popping my head in the dressing room, "Places in 15. Wait, where's Carrie?"

The girls looked at each other before shrugging at me.

I let out a frustrated groan, "Someone call her, if she's not here then Savannah you're going on."

Her understudy let out a huff and turned to grab her cellphone to call the missing diva.

As I turned to walk down the hallway a very mad Carrie came storming down.

"Where have you been?"

She turned to me with a death glare and snapped, "Car troubles."

"Ugh why is everyone saying that tonight?" I groaned.

I tried to turn away but just as I did Carrie grabbed my wrist tightly, "I could've just not shown up. You're lucky I even did."

The action made me hide my face out of habit, when I finally grounded myself I ripped my wrist out of her grip before taking off down the hallway trying to rub the pain away and shake off the panicked feeling in my chest.

The show went on without a hitch. Luckily Carrie could get into costume and wig quickly so there wasn't any delay in opening. After curtain call I quickly cleaned up my stuff, saying goodbye to our drama teacher as she left for the night leaving me to check the dressing rooms to make sure no one else was here before I left.

The boys room was a wreck, tomorrow during class I should make them clean it out. Gross.

I check the middle dressing room reserved for anyone who didn't want to be in either girls or boys only dressing room. I turned the lights off before moving on to the last one.

I barely missed her, if she wasn't wearing the bright yellow dress I wouldn't have seen her sitting on the counter.

"Carrie? What are you still doing here?"

She frowned, "I wanted to ask you something."

"What Carrie?" I huffed lightly.

"I'm just trying to be nice," she rolled her eyes.

"You're never nice to me," I said, grabbing my keys off the hook on the wall, "And it's getting late, I wanna get home. What's your question?"

"You winced."

"What?"

"Earlier when I grabbed your wrist, you winced. I didn't mean to hurt you but I didn't grab it hard enough to truly hurt you. What's going on?"

I sighed and went to turn the lights off, "Nothing Carrie. I don't see why you even care."

Carrie hopped off the counter and walked out the door I was holding open, "Can't you just tell me? For once I'm worried about you."

"Yeah, and that one time is completely random."

"(Y/n)," she said, grabbing my wrist. Out of instinct I winced and immediately tried to cover it up by pulling my arm out of her grasp but then she held on a little tighter. It didn't hurt. In fact, it was almost... gentle.

"What Carrie? I wanna go home."

"Not till you tell me what's going on," she said, her eyes seemed to glue to something on my shoulder, her free hand reached forward and pull down the collar of my shirt past my right shoulder revealing a purple bruise I had tried to keep covered for tonight.

"(Y/n)-"

"Carrie it's just from working on the set pieces-"

"Bullshit," she snapped, "It wasn't there yesterday when you were wearing that halter top. Don't lie like this (Y/n)."

I rolled my eyes, "I don't even see why you care."

Her eyes went soft as I finally pulled my arm from her grip.

I turned to walk away.

"I see you walk to the bus everyday."

I stopped and looked back at her, "What?"

"You pass by my house when you're walking to the bus everyday. And walking home. Everyday I see you linger outside like you hate going home. I noticed it a while ago, but tonight just confirmed my suspicions. (Y/n), he hits you doesn't he?"

Tears welled up in my eyes, "Carrie just stay out of this."

"(Y/n)-"

"No Carrie, I don't need pity. Especially from you."

I couldn't describe the look in her eye, "(Y/n) it's not pity it's concern. Please just let me help-"

"I don't need help. Especially after all you've ever done to me. Just leave me alone."

And with that I turned on my heel and rushed outside.

The next day I wore a chunky turtleneck sweater into class. Carrie's eyes immediately flew up when I entered the room, falling directly to the shoulder that was completely covered up. Class seemed to go by like an eternity. The school day was even longer.

Finally it was the break before my last class of the day and I walked out of the bathroom stall, looking myself over in the mirror.

"Green's a pretty color on you," Carrie said, she was standing two sinks down from me. Staring at the spot on my shoulder again.

I sighed, "Thanks."

"(Y/n) please-"

"I told you to stay out of it."

"You need to get help, it's just going to keep getting worse and you know it."

"He's in rehab," I sighed, placing my hands on the sink and leaning forward.

She sighed, taking a pause to stare at me, "(Y/n), if you need a place to stay you can always come to my house."

"I don't need anyone's help."

I flung my bag onto my shoulder before turning and practically running out of the bathroom.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~

I don't know why tonight was worse, but it just was. Maybe it was because I knew someone knew what was going on, or maybe it was because he pre-gamed with his friends before going out to the bar.

When he got drunk he got... rowdy. If I was in his way in the kitchen he'd shove me out of his way, sometimes making me hit the counter top. IF I didn't do the chores like I was supposed to he would give me a smack on the face. And in extreme cases he'd push me into the wall before barking at me to go to my room.

I've probably gotten a concussion before.

Tonight was different though.

It felt like he just didn't let up on me. First it was a smack over the dishes, then I didn't get him his drink fast enough resulting in being shoved into the wall. Finally the shove so hard I fell hitting my hand on the table and collapsing onto the floor left the wind knocked out of me. When I finally got my lungs working again I ran out the door. It wasn't until I got a few blocks away from my house that I realized my hand was bleeding badly.

I just walked. I didn't intend to go to her house, but here I was at the gate of the Wilson residence. I pressed the buzzer and waited.

"Who is it?"

"Hi Mr. Wilson, it's (Y/n). One of Carries friends."

Carrie finally came over the intercom, "(Y/n)?"

"Hey, um- sorry this probably isn't a good time. I can leave-"

"(Y/n) just come inside," she said, the gates finally opened and I walked up the driveway and onto the porch.

Carrie opened the door, seeing the bleeding on my right hand immediately.

"Oh my god (Y/n), what-"

The tears in my eyes must've given me away, because she quickly pulled me into a hug.

"Let's get you cleaned up," she whispered.

She lead me inside to the bathroom and sat me on the edge of the bathtub. She grabbed the first aid kit and gently cleaned the cut on my hand and put a giant bandage over it when she was done, "Hopefully you won't need stitches."

"Yeah."

She led me into her room and we both sat on the bed, she just watched me as I looked around the room to avoid her gaze.

"(Y/n), what happened?"

Tears finally started to slip as she pulled me into a hug again.

"It's okay, we don't have to talk about it right now. I'm just worried."

"It was bad Carrie, more bad than normal. I can handle it normally..."

"You shouldn't have to 'handle it'," she said softly.

I couldn't say anything because of the sobs that were racking through my body. She just held me and gently petted my hair until I finally calmed down.

"You can stay here tonight if you want to."

I smiled tightly, "Thank you."

"It's the least I could do," she said, "You really need to tell someone."

"I know... I'm just not ready."

She grabbed my left hand and gently squeezed it, "That's okay. But I'll be here with you when you are."

~~~~~~~~~~~~~

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[maaaaaatryoshka0325]

Arcane - Lee Know Mafia AU Part 12

Warning: Suicidal themes (if you are easily triggered by said theme, please read at your own risk!), someone also gets drugged

(Part1) (Part2) (Part3) (Part4) (Part5) (Part6) (Part7) (Part8) (Part9) (Part10) (Part11) (Part13)

Just so there’s no confusion: a black auction is being held in this chapter, where stolen/illegal goods are being sold. “Enerzizer” is the password that not many people know, only people who were invited can “order” the drink, so when it’s said, the bartender allows them into the basement. People use face masks to hide who they are. (thank you Kissed By the Baddest Bidder for the idea)

You and Minho haven’t spoken at all the whole day. After arriving to the hotel, the boys insisted you all go out, but Minho wanted to stay at the hotel, saying his head was hurting. You sat with the boys as you all grabbed dinner at a diner. You played with your food for the most part, and Chan seemed to notice your off mood.

“You okay?” He asked.

“Yeah, just lost in thought.” You confessed.

“Do you need to talk about something?” He asked.

“Actually.. I do have to ask you something.” You said.

Chan nodded and excused you both and walked outside with you. He turned to look at you before tilting his head.

“What’s up?” He asked.

“I-I just want to ask this, not to get into his business but because I’m worried...” You began.

Chan lifted an eyebrow and you sighed.

“Who’s Hana?” You asked.

His face went pale for a moment and he sighed.

“How do you know about her?” He asked.

“Minho was calling for her in his sleep.” You said.

Chan sighed again and closed his eyes for a moment. When he opened them, he looked at you.

“Hana and Minho were lovers. She accepted the fact that he was in the Mafia, and she was like a sister to all of us. One night they went out and someone in an opposing group recognized Minho. They murdered her right in front of him.” Chan said.

Your eyes widened in horror. They killed her right in front of him?! No wonder he was whimpering for her in his sleep.

“I-I’m Sorry, I didn’t know.” You said, looking down.

Chan rubbed your shoulder and gave you a soft, reassuring smile.

“Don’t worry, its okay. You should know anyways. What we do is dangerous.” He said.

You nodded and followed him back inside. You had a bad feeling, so you excused yourself and went back to the hotel, which was right down the street. Your heart was pounding before you got into the room, and you couldn’t figure out why.

When you opened the door, the scene in front of you made your heart drop. Minho was sitting on the bed, one of his hand guns pointed at his head, his eyes opened to see you standing there.

“What are you doing?!” You yelled, knocking his gun out of his hands.

His eyes narrowed on you as he looked at you, grabbing you wrist.

“You idiot, what were you doing?” You asked, your voice shaking.

Minho didn’t say anything, he just stared at you for a moment.

“How could you even think of doing that?” You asked.

“No one needs me here.... All I do is hurt people.” You heard him say lowly.

“That’s not true Minho.” You said.

“How would you know? Look what I did to you earlier. Look at everything I’ve caused.” He said, anger edging his voice.

But this time, you weren’t afraid of him being angry. It made you sad.

“She would still be alive if it wasn’t for me. It’s my fucking fault!” His voice was raised, and instead of running away, you threw your arms around his neck and pulled him into your chest, your knees planted on either side of his lap.

His body tensed up as you held him to you tightly.

“It’s not your fault Minho.” You said softly.

You heard his breath hitch at what you said. His tense body began to shake as you felt something wet on your chest.

Minho was crying.

He blamed himself for her death. He blamed himself for the pain she felt before she went. He blamed himself for everything.

You ran you fingers through his soft hair as you held him, allowing him to let all of his emotions out. His arms wrapped around you tightly as he buried his face into your chest. You began to softly rub his back, whispering soft words in his ear.

When you went to pull away, he held you tighter, and you knew he just didn’t want you to see him crying. You rested your chin on his shoulder and waited for him to calm down. Once his trembling stopped he pulled away, his eyes bloodshot.

“Maybe you should sleep.” You said.

He nodded and laid down, pulling the blanket over himself. You sat on the edge of his bed, playing with his hair. He didn’t object to your actions, so you continued it until he fell asleep. You looked out of the hotel window and noticed it was raining. The sound of the steady rainfall and the soft feeling of Minho’s hair lulled you to sleep.

You woke up feeling warm, and when you opened your eyes, you realized you were laying down. You had fallen asleep sitting up, and now you were laying on the same bed as Minho, his arm around your waist and his face in the crook of your neck. Your face turned red as you accidentally gasped when you realized you were cuddled up with him. His eyes opened and he looked at you.

“I told you no funny business.” He said, despite his sleepy voice, his eyes held amusement.

“YOU’RE the one trying some funny business. I fell asleep sitting up, minding my own business.” You said, laughing.

“Mhmmmm. That’s what they all say.” He said, getting up and checking his phone.

“Good thing we’re awake now. Chan wants a meeting in a half hour.” He said.

“Okay.” You said, getting up and cracking your bones, grateful you weren’t sore anymore.

You found it weird how Minho was acting like he wasn’t close to killing himself yesterday. He was acting weird.

“Tonight we head to the party and see what they’re up too. I want everyone on this mission.” Chan said, looking at you.

You nodded and noticed Minho tensed up.

“Are you sure she should be in this one? This is up close.” Minho said.

“Yes, it’ll look less suspicious. The two of you will be going as dates.” Chan said.

“WHAT?” You both yelled at the same time, then looked at each other in sync.

“You guys need to stop doing that.” Felix laughed.

You finished your make up and looked in the mirror. You wore a short black dress that was ruffled at the bottoms, and a (silver/gold) sparkling band was in the middle. You decided to put on the necklace Minho had gotten you, since it’d match the band around the dress.

“You look nice.” Minho said, walking in to the hotel room.

“Thank you, so do you.” You said back, admiring how he looked all dressed up. His hair was parted and showed off his face.

He handed you a mask and you nodded as you slipped it into your bag. You got in the car and he went over the plan with you.

“You said the password is ‘Enerzizer’, right?” He asked.

You nodded as he pulled up to a huge mansion. Your mouth dropped, a sit was so big it looked like a museum.

“That’s big.” He said.

You nodded and you both got out, putting your masks on. He reached his arm out to you and you linked arms as you walked up the stairs to the entrance. By the time you got to the top, you were panting.

“Are you okay?” He asked with amusement.

“I need to get in better shape.” You pant.

He laughed and led you into the mansion, and your eyes widened when you looked around. There were people everywhere, beautiful women in dresses and masks, as well groomed men in their own. Minho leaned forward, his lips brushing against your ear.

“Keep an eye out for Seungri. We never got the time it starts.” He said.

You nodded and stuck close to him. You felt eyes on you and noticed an old, overweight man eyeing you up and down, smirking at you. You clung to Minho and he gave you a curious look, but you didn’t want to tell him and make it obvious. Minho lowered his hand to the small of your back as another man came up and began to talk to him. The man was talking about politics, and Minho kept a steady conversation with him. You could tell Minho wasn’t in to politics, but he kept talking to get the mans interest.

“The drinks should be good tonight.” The man said, and you could tell he was hinting at the black auction.

“Yes, I heard enerzizer is the drink of the night.” Minho said, his flashing a white smile.

“Indeed. I guess I should order it soon.” The man said.

“Really? Isn’t it a little early?” You asked, and Minho glanced at you, catching on that you were trying to get the time.

“Eight may be the perfect time for drinking, but seven thirty should be the... Pre game.” The man said.

“I agree. Pre gaming is fun.” You said.

The man walked away and you smiled at Minho.

“We’re genius’.” You said.

“I started it.” He shrugged and gave you a playful smile.

“Shut up.” You said, rolling your eyes.

You looked around and saw Woojin and Chan talking to a group of men, Jisung and Felix were stuffing their faces with food, Seungmin and Jeongin were talking to a group of boys who looked you, and Changbin and Hyunjin were walking around, sweeping the floor with their eyes. You felt eyes on you and turned towards it, noticing the same man, his eyes eating you up. You had a gut feeling and smiled at him, seeing this as an opportunity in case it was needed.

At seven fourty-five you and Minho walked over to the bartender, who looked you both up and down.

“Two enerzizers.” Minho said.

The man nodded and handed you both the drinks, and motioned you to a mirror in the room behind him. You both shut the door a little and Minho felt along the mirror and pressed a button, and the mirror moved to reveal it was actually an elevator. You both stepped in as it went down to the last floor. You both walked out and into a room where you heard a lot of voices, and saw what looked to be a room for concerts, with seats lining every row and a huge stage. You both sat down together in the back as the stage sounded like it was being prepared.

“This is so weird.” You whispered to Minho.

“Are you surprised? Most people here a sex traffickers, drug dealers, hitmen, or Mafia leaders and members.” Minho said.

You watched as everyone took their seats and the lights dimmed. A masked man appeared on stage talking about the rules, which were the same at a regular auction.

The first thing he had up was a huge stolen painting. You heard a bunch of different bids. 50,000. 100,000. 150,000. The man who bid 150,000 got it.

You felt uncomfortable as you felt eyes on you again, this time boring into you. You casually looked around, but didn’t notice anyone in particular. You shifted uncomfortably and Minho looked at you.

“What is it?” He asked.

“It feels like someone’s staring at me.” You said lowly.

He stared at you for a moment before pulling you close to him and pulling your head on to his shoulder.

“What are you doing?” You asked, keeping your eyes on the stage.

“Giving them something to look at.” He said, his eyes also fixed on the stage.

You kept your head on him as the auction continued, until the last half. The half that made you want to puke.

Up on the stage were three girls, not much younger than you. Their eyes held fear as people began to bid on them. Someone you recognized bid on them. The old man that had been staring at you. He bid up to 400,000. He won.

When it ended, you followed Minho back up to the other floor, and he pressed on his earpiece as he talks to Chan. As he talked, you noticed something on the ground. You picked it up, and recognized it was roofies. You slipped it into your bag, feeling the need to 1.) hide it from whoever decided to roofie anyone and 2.) in case you needed it. Minho had his arm wrapped around your waist as he leaned in, his lips brushing the shell of your ear.

“I’m gonna go talk to Chan and figure out how we can get those girls out of there.” He said.

You nodded and watched him walk off, when you felt eyes on you again. This time, they were the first pair you noticed. You walked over to the man, who was getting a drink.

“This and whatever the lady wants.” He said, smirking at you.

“Jungle juice please.” You said nicely.

The bartender handed you your drink and the man scooched close to you. You smiled as he leaned forward.

“Where’s your date?” He asked.

You instantly mentally patted yourself on the back at the idea that popped into your head.

“He ditched me.” You pouted.

“Why’d he do that baby?” He asked, rubbing your arm.

“Because there’s prettier girls here.” You said, faking a sniffle.

“Don’t cry baby, I’ll be here for you.” He said with a smirk.

You smiled and traced your hand up his chest. He started to kiss the side of your neck and you slipped the roofies right into his drink.

“Should we take this else where?” You asked with a smirk.

He smiled at you and led you away, leading you to a room towards the left wing.

“This is my room, I’m staying here.” He said, starting to slur.

You could hear a women calling for help and he pushed you into a bigger room connected.

“Sorry, the neighbors must be fighting.” He said.

You knew that wasn’t it, but you went along with it. He began to kiss all down your neck and you felt disgusted, but let out fake purrs, until he passed out. Right on top of you.

“Well... This didn’t go how I thought.” You sighed, heaving him off of you and panting since he was heavy.

You walked out of the room and pressed your ear to another door, hearing a couple women’s voices. You knew it was the women he had bought, the women that were being sex trafficked. You walked into the room and pulled a pair of latex gloves out of your bag (no finger prints, duh) and slid them on. You rummaged in his pocket and found a set of key. You slid a couple into the hole with no luck, then one finally unlocked.

One of the girls raised her head, looking like she was about to pounce when relief filled her eyes. She hugged you tightly and cried as you looked at the other girls. They had to be a couple years younger than you, and you felt upset that they had to go through this.

“Let’s get out of here.” You said.

You pulled your phone out and called Chan as you found more masks in a room with dresses, dressing the girls up to look like normal party goers so everyone who had been to the black auction wouldn’t be suspicious.

“Y/N? Where are you?” Chan asked.

“Chan, I have them. I have the girls.” You whispered.

“You what?” He asked in disbelief.

“Meet us outside, by the cars.” You said.

“Did you say Chan?” The eldest girl asked.

“Yes, why?” You asked.

Her eyes beamed as she hugged you again.

“I’m so relieved! Stray Kids are allies with my boyfriend’s gang!” She said happily.

“Whose your boyfriend?” You asked.

“Jinyoung of Got7.” She said.

You nodded and grabbed the two youngest’s hands as you dashed out the door and to the cars.

“Y/N!”

You turned to see Minho and the boys running towards you, and their eyes widnened at Who was with you.

“Rina?!” Hyunjin gasped.

She smiled at him and bowed.

“Hey Hyunjin.” She said.

“What are you doing here?!” He asked.

“We’ll talk about this later, we have to go!” You said.

Rina and the girls hopped in the car with Minho as he took off and headed back to the hotel. Once you all got there, you took the girls to your room as Chan called JB to tell him you have Rina. You washed them up and gave them comfy clothes to use.

“I can’t thank you enough.” Rina said, holding your hands.

“We girls have to stick together.” You said with a smile.

She nodded in agreement. The door burst open and Jinyoung stood in the doorway, tears of relief filled his eyes as he rushed over to Rina and she leaped into his arms. They both cried as he clutched her tightly. He looked at you and gave a weak smile.

“Thank you so much.” He said.

You smiled and nodded as you walked out to give them some room. Minho was leaning on the wall outside of the room and pulled you aside.

“How did you find them?” He asked.

“The man who bought them kept staring at me, and I recognized him when he bought them. He came over to me when you walked away.” You explained.

“And how did you managed to get them out?” He asked, raising an eyebrow.

“I found roofies on the ground when we were coming back up so I... um... seduced and drugged him...?” You said awkwardly.

His face held some amusement as he shook his head.

“That was dangerous Y/N.” He said.

“But it worked, didn’t it?” You pointed out.

He sighed and ruffled your hair.

“Be more careful and make sure to tell us what you’re doing.” He said softly.

You nodded and your heart fluttered when you saw a warm look in his eyes. You heard a throat being cleared and saw Jisung standing there.

“All of the bags are in the cars, we should leave soon.” He said, smirking at the two of you.

You both followed them down to the parking lot along with the Got7 members. Rina held your hands as you were both about to part.

“I hope I see you again soon Y/N. Thank you so much again!” She said, hugging you.

You smiled and hugged her back before turning and seeing Minho waiting for you. You walked next to him and smiled.

“Let’s go home.” You said.

He was about to say something when gunshots rang out. You both gasped a sone nearly hit Minho’s shoulder, just missing it. He grabbed you pushed you behind a car as you both looked around.

“Get your guns!” You heard Chan yell.

Minho grabbed your hand and began to lead you behind cars.

“Stay behind me!” He yelled.

You ran behind him as he clutched your hand tightly. You managed to get a glimpse of Rina and the girls. Jackson was standing protectively in front of them with Jinyoung, shooting wildly. Minho stopped behind a car and held your face.

“Stay here!” He said.

You nodded as he crept behind cars and disappeared to the row in front of you. You saw Chan firing rounds with Changbin, their backs touching as they fired from opposite sides. Hyunjin was shooting wildly, standing protectively in front of Jeongin and Seungmin. Felix and Jisung were side by side, shooting as Woojin was standing on a van. You turned your head as your breath got caught in your throat.

Seungri was standing across the parking garage, his eyes baring into you. You realized he was the one staring at you at the auction, noticing you got the information at the hotel and got the girls he stole back where they belong. He raised his gun too fast for you to react. You closed your eyes as the gunshots rang out, but someone grabbed you and pinned you down between two cars. Once the gunshots stopped, you looked up and saw Minho, his hands cupped your face as he looked at you.

“Are you hurt?” You both said in unision.

“I’m fine.” You said, your trembling hand on his bicep.

He nodded with relief and you quickly check him.

“Are you hurt? Why would you throw yourself in front of me like that!” You gasped out.

“I’m fine, let’s go.” He said, grabbing your hand.

He pulled you to the car and pushed you in before getting in the drivers seat. He peeled out behind Chan and Woojin’s car, speeding off. You saw the Got7 members closely behind as you all drove back to your homes.

“Are you okay?” He asked.

“Yeah... That was my fault.” You sighed.

“What do you mean?” He asked.

“Seungri saw me at the hotel, and I think he recognized me at the auction.” You said.

His face went pale as he stared at you.

“Shit!” He hissed.

He called Chan and told Chan what happened, and Chan wanted to see you right away. Minho walked you to Chan’s office, where Chan and Changbin were sitting.

“Tell me everything.” Chan said.

You explained how you saw him at the hotel, and how you noticed someone was watching your during the auction, and how he specifically aimed for you during the shootout.

“I’ll have someone keep an eye on his whereabouts.” Chan reassured you.

You nodded thankfully as Minho stepped forward.

“This could be dangerous for her. And for us.” Minho said.

“We’ll keep our guards up Minho.” Chan promised.

Minho nodded and you both left the room. You nudged his shoulder playfully.

“Awe, are you worried about me?” You asked.

“Nope. Not one bit.” He said, his voice flat but amusement in his eyes as he walked away.

“... Man I really wanna throat punch him sometimes.” You muttered.

[kpopfromtheblock]

a/n ⇾ thank you, thank you, thank you for the amount of love you all have shown me on the first installment of this series! I hope you enjoy the second installment just as much - this one is a little less goofy than the first! I hope you don't mind✨ thank you for reading! 

LIFE WITH BANGTAN | ot7

002

genre ⇾ fluff-idy mcfluff fluff fluff   

pairing ⇾ bts x fem reader

summary ⇾ the boys (especially Jungkook) miss you a lot while they’re away on tour, so much so that you become the topic of their conversation in Jin’s hotel room. In result, they decide to FaceTime you to check up on you...

warning ⇾ some cringe-worthy goodness (AS ALWAYS), a lot of cute shit, swearing & if you squint… you might see Yoongi saying some freaky deeky things… dassit

words ⇾ 2,6k

. * 　　　 ✦     .     　⁺ 　 .  * ⁺        ⁺

Twelve midnight and the members of BTS  are finally back in Jin’s hotel room, relaxing after a long day of rehearsals and a three hour show. 

They sit around the living room, food and cola surrounding them as they talk about the events of the day. Whilst everyone is discussing how happy they are with how the concert went, the youngest of the seven men, is in a world of his own, thinking of nothing and no one else but you.

“Has anyone spoken to our girl today?” Jungkook asks before taking a sip of his cola. 

“No, not since she texted the group chat this morning.” Jimin informs the younger male before shoveling chop sticks full of ramen into his mouth.

“She texted us?” Jungkook’s eyes brows furrow in confusion. 

How could he have possibly missed a text from you? He’s always the first person to respond when you contact them via group chat. 

“Yup.... Did you not get it?” Hoseok responds then lets out a strained burp that has been stuck in his chest for almost five minutes. A sigh of relief falls from his mouth as he slouch a little in the spot he’s taken up on the floor. A few minutes ago he felt like he was going to explode from all the ramen he had consumed but after letting out some built up gas, he feels a lot better.

Jungkook gets up immediately and walks to the bedroom where his phone is charging. He unplugs it and the screen lights up. He doesn’t waste time going through the notification. JK unlocks his phone and opens the green messaging app. Surely enough the first conversation in his inbox is the group chat that consists of his members and you. 

‘How did I not see this?’ He thinks. 

His eyes scan over the screen and his notices the little crescent moon icon to the right side of the conversation. 

“Ah” He says, coming to a realization that he must’ve put his phone on Do Not Disturb last night and had forgotten to take it off. 

Now, come to think of it, he thought it was a bit strange how he wasn’t getting any notifications all day unless the phone was unlocked. It all makes sense now.

He walks back into the living room to reclaim his precious seat next to Yoongi on the other couch. “My phone was on do not disturb.” Jungkook explains. 

“You fool.” Jimin teases causing a few of the other members to laugh. Jungkook opens the group chat label ‘Y/N AND THE CHIPMUNKS’: a name you came up with and no one has decided to change it as they knew you’d just change it right back. 

Jimin tried to once and the impending name war went on for a month... You obviously won though. 

Jungkook looks at the group chat, scrolling past all the responses from his Hyungs until he finds the messages you’ve sent.

Yesterday 8:30 AM 

Y/N  

hiiiiiii, it’s yo girl 😏 lol 

Y/N

this messages is a bit long bc i know you guys are busy and can’t answer the phone so a text is the next best thing! 

Y/N

just wanted to wish you guys good luck and tell you i love you! i know you’re all gonna do great! and Mr. Jungkook, pls stop lifting Chim’s shirt up during shows... it’s hard enough as it is that you guys aren’t here, i don’t want to be tortured by videos too 😭

Y/N

oh and speaking of that, i’ve decided to go back to my apartment for the remainder of the month... it’s too hard to be at the dorm when you guys aren’t in it... it’s too big and feels so much loner...

 plus i have a lot of school work to catch up on which is a good thing. it’ll keep me busy until you guys get back...

and don’t worry Mr. Seokjin... i locked up and set the alarms perfectly, everything is fine! 

Y/N

anyways that’s all i wanted to say! pls don’t skip your meals and don’t get sick or hurt. come back to me the same way you left me! i love you guys so much, have fun!

Jungkook’s heart swells in his chest. You are the girl of his dreams and he can’t believe he ‘s lucky enough to have you in his life, let alone share you with six of the the people he loves and trusts most in the world. 

He couldn’t be any more content than he is now, right in this very moment. 

“I miss her.” Jungkook sighs, capturing the attention of the older men in room. “We all do.” Namjoon replies, knowing good and well that the her Jungkook was referring to is you... “I wish she would’ve came with us this time around... I don’t like being away from her for so long.” Jimin chimes in as he uses the chop sticks to push the leftover ramen around in his bowl. 

“You know how important school is to her... We couldn’t let her miss three months of classes for us.” Jin reminds them. “Not that she wouldn’t if we begged her but, you know… We beg her to miss school” He adds with a shrug of his shoulders.

‘Stupid school.’ Jungkook thinks. 

Although he’s not happy with the circumstance, he understands and accepts them just like the rest of the guys do. Jungkook knows you want to become a veterinarian, he knows you have dreams of one day opening up a vet/animal shelter and he wants nothing more than for you to do just that and achieve your dreams but he just misses you so much when you’re apart and he’s sure the others feel the same way, they’re just better at keep themselves distracted.

“I told her to take those online classes...” Yoongi remembers the day he told you that taking classes online would be the best for your schedule. You’d be able to relax at home but still get the lessons you needed to graduate and not only that you could spend more time with them, at the dorm or on tour. 

The idea sounded tempting to you at the time but you decided against it. You wanted to get the full college experience and you didn’t think you’d be able to do that from inside the boy’s dorm. 

“Then she’d be able come with us everywhere...” Yoongi adds. He takes a sip of his drink then leans back in the chair, spreading his legs out to get a bit more comfortable. 

“Do you think she’s still studying?” Jungkook asks curiously. The eagerness he felt to talk to you had grown since you had become the topic of conversation between the seven of them. 

“Maybe? Either studying or asleep by now.” Hoseok thinks out loud. 

“Tae called her not too long ago. She sounded like she was exhausted.” A little pout forms on Namjoon face as he thinks about how tired you must be from a full day of classes and work.

He hopes that you are resting well as he’s caught you more than once going days without sleeping or eating because you’re studying or too focused on an assignment due. Even though Namjoon is also a victim of this vicious cycle of not eating or sleeping, he doesn’t want you to fall into the habit. 

“Oh...” Is all Jungkook says in response. 

“I hope she hasn’t fallen asleep at her desk again.” An image of you pops into Jin’s head. One where you are hunched over your desk, with your head resting uncomfortably against one of your text books. 

“She’ll wake up with a cramp in her neck.” He adds, concern laced in his voice.

“Should we call her now to see if she’s okay?” Jungkook suggests as he perks back up in his seat. 

“We shouldn’t disturb her. It’s really late.” Tae points out as he stands to pick up the trash from around the room.

“It’s only two am there.” Jungkook protests. 

“That’s late Jungkookie.” Yoongi leans his hand up and ruffles Jungkook’s hair fondly. He then gets up and makes his way to the bathroom. 

“But Hyung…” Jungkook starts. He turns to Jin, his doe-eyes widen slightly before he speaks. “Can’t we call quickly to check on her? I just want to hear her voice before bed.” Jungkook pleads. 

Jin doesn’t hesitate when he says “Okay.” It’s hard for him to say no to Jungkook when looks at with those bright doe-eyes of his.

Unfortunately for Jin, Jungkook isn’t the only one he has a weakness for. You also have Seokjin wrapped around your finger and both you and Jungkook know it. 

From time to time the two of you will team up together and use your charm to persuade Jin into getting what you want and this only happens after you two have failed with Yoongi. 

With Jin? It works every time and as much as he likes to act like he hates it, he secretly lives for it because he loves when the two of you act cute for him. 

Jungkook smiles brightly and brings his attention down to his phone. He taps the green telephone icon then searches for your name. He quickly presses the FaceTime button and waits...

The phone rings three times before your sleepy face comes into frame. Your hair is a mess, your cheeks are slight puffy, your eyes are tired and there are bags starting to form underneath them and in this moment.. You are the cutest thing Jungkook has ever seen.

“Baby~” Jungkook calls cutely. You smile sleepily at him through the screen. The sound of his voice immediately puts you at ease. “Kookie… I miss you.” You say and the words make Jungkook cheeks flush a subtle shade of red. “I miss you too.” He confesses.

“Let me see her.”  Jin requests as he get up from his spot on the couch. He takes a few steps across the room before coming to plop down on the other couch where Yoongi had been sitting.

Jungkook stretches his arm out to holds his phone out further so he can capture both himself and Jin in frame.

“Ohhh, Jin. You look so handsome.” You tell him sweetly. 

How he’s able to still look so good and well rested after a full day of preforming is beyond you.

“Of course. My name is Kim Seokjin.” Jin says confidently and you laugh. “Of course!” You agree through laughter. “Only Kim Seokjin is able to look this good after a full day of entertaining millions of fans.” You egg him on and he smiles proudly at you. “I miss you Mr. Seokjin” You speak again. “I miss you too Princess. We wish you were here.” He tells you before blowing you one of his infamous flying kisses. You pretend to catch it and he laughs. “What about me!?” You can hear Jimin yell from across the room. You can almost envision the sulky pout of his lips from you not giving him attention. You giggle at the thought. 

“Of course I miss you Chim. I miss you all so much.” You say loud enough for them to hear you.

“We miss you too darling.” Tae shouts from the kitchen. 

Namjoon comes from out of the bedroom and sits on the arm rest of the couch. Jungkook turns the phone to Namjoon and you are greeted by his deep dimpled smile. “Hi Joonie.” You say as sweetly as you always do. “Hi baby girl… You look tired.” He says immediately upon seeing your face. 

You laugh at the fact that he’s so worried about you after he’s just finished preforming for a stadium full of adoring Army. If anyone looks tired, it’s him. 

“You shouldn’t worry Joonie. I’m fine. You on the other hand… I hope you are resting well. I hope you all are getting enough rest.” You say truthfully. Namjoon smiles at how considerate you are. “I’m fine. We’re all resting well.” He reassures you. “Good. Keep it up.” You say sternly and he chuckles in response. “What are you doing baby?” Jungkook asks as his face pops back up on the screen.

“I was studying but I guess at some point I fell asleep.” You inform him. 

“At your desk?” You hear Namjoon’s voice from a distance. 

You hesitate a bit before answering “…Yes.” You know a good scolding is come so you sit patiently and wait for it.

Yoongi has come out the bathroom in time to hear the conversation between you and the boys. He hears when you say that you did indeed fall asleep at your desk, yet again. He leans against the wall with his arms across over his chest. “Kitten...” He says. You can tell by the tone in his voice that he is a little bit upset with the info he’s just heard from you. 

“Don’t worry my love…” You start before he can reprimand you. “I’m gonna go to bed right now.” You try to convince him.

Yoongi walks over and takes the phone from Jungkook. His heart breaks just a little when he see the exhaustion behind your eyes. “Imagine if we hadn’t called… You’d still be sleeping at your desk.” He says. “Not true…” You object. “I would’ve gotten up eventually.” You mumble but of course he hears every word with you being so close to the phone. “Kitten, please rest properly… Or I’ll have to punish you when I get back home.”  There’s a hint of playfulness in Yoongi’s voice but you know him well enough to know that that playfulness is only there to cover up the dominate and lustful tone in his words. 

You blink a few times before responding, a little thrown off by his sudden assertiveness. “Okay...” You say and he raises and eyebrow at you… “Okay?” He questions, not pleased with the way you’ve chosen to respond to him. You feel a small shiver run down your spine as he speaks to you. “Okay daddy.” You answer him correctly this time and he smirks at you. “Good girl.” He compliments you. Before you can say anything else, you see a very tired looking, Jung Hoseok coming into frame behind Yoongi. 

Hobi rests his head on Yoongi’s shoulder and smiles at you through the screen. “My Angel.” Hoseok speaks softly. “My Hope.” You respond in the same tone. “I love you.” He says straightaway and your heart skips a beat for what feels like the hundredth time since you’ve been on this video call with them. “I love you more baby.” You tell him and smiles wider. 

“We’ll see you soon. Okay?” He reminds you.

“Okay.” You nod your head. “You guys get some rest.” You encourage them. “I love you all very much.” You shout loudly enough for all your boys to hear from where ever they are in the hotel room.

The sounds of ‘I love you’s’ and ‘I’ll see you soon’s’ and ‘I’ll talk you later’s’ and some flying kiss which you know are all from Jin, come booming through the speaker of your phone. 

You laugh loudly and return the flying kisses, putting your lips up to the phone to make kissing noises. “Bye Darling!” Taehyung bids you a farewell and you do the same to him. “Bye!" and with that the call ends. 

You can’t wipe the smile off your face. How did you get so lucky? Most girls have one amazing boyfriend but you? You are blessed enough to have seven and everyday you are grateful that they have chosen to love you… 

[your-rose-highness]

Tell me What is Love (ch.1)

Hye hee entered a coffee shop at a dreadful hour when there was hardly anyone present. Being an assistant editor of a publishing house, didn't help in her dire need of a routine. Most of her days passed pulling deadlines late into the night.

Today was just another night of editing a long guideline of using a mechanical bicycle. As she entered the dimly lit cozy coffee shop, the barista gave her a pitiful smile, knowing very well why she was here at 1 A.M.

“Hey there.”, Minseok greeted as the little bell rang marking the arrival of customers.

“Hi.”, she groaned back.

She makes her way to the back of the shop, which was her deemed ‘spot’, that she used for feeling mega productive to finish her all nighters.

Minseok heads to the table carrying her pomegranate tea, which she regularly ordered during her night ventures.

“Here you go”, he said, placing the aesthetically pleasing pink tea in front of her, taking the seat opposite to her.

“Thanks min, you’re an angel.”

“So what is it tonight?”, he inquired, supporting his head on his palm, expecting another high rush novel.

“Mechanical sport bicycle guidelines. Want to hear more?”, she laughed sneakily.

“Bye.”, he got up as a reflex, making both of them chuckle. “Any way if you want anything, i’ll be just behind this screen. I’m not really expecting anyone tonight, it’s a slow evening.”

She nodded and began typing away. Sipping her tea, she felt exhaustion creep in by 2.30.

If only i had not taken up the extra manuscript yesterday, i could be in bed today, she thought.

Barely able to keep her eyes open, she typed the last few pages, when the little bell jingled a little too loud into the quiet night. Hye hee peeped from her laptop, to find a man covered in black clothes, a face mask and black goggles step in, shivering from the cold outside. Minseok stumbled out and the mysterious man ordered his drink. Hye hee resumed her work, her thoughts slightly clouded by entrance of the man.

Idol?

She thought to herself. Poor fellas, don't get proper alone time that they probably need to hanker about in the middle of the night. As she worked out her theories, minseok approached her again, to ask if she needed anything. The man had seated himself with his back to her, so she couldn't make out who he was.

You've grown, Song hye hee, she congratulated herself.

It was still hard for her to see idols anywhere since baekhyun.

Baekhyun, her dorky friend from the seventh grade. The both of them had never spoken to each other before he spilled his pudding all over her skirt in the cafeteria one time, when he slipped while demonstrating a move his dog had done earlier that day.

Hye hee was the class president and had dreaded the clown baekhyun was. He had always teased her in the past for being too nerdy. He could be the definition of trouble all by himself But this was the limit. Baekhyun had expected her to yell at him, sincerely sorry for have done the deed. To his surprise, she cried in the middle of the crowded cafeteria, attracting annoying looks from everyone. Baekhyun’s friends slipped away from him, afraid of being embarrassed. He rushed to soothe her, but she wailed even louder, running into the girl’s bathroom. He waited for her to come out, but when she didn't for 30 minutes, he picked up courage and entered calling out her name.

He found her, head between her knees, sobbing with red eyes. She looked up at him with defeat. Hye hee was tired of his impractical jokes, but he had surprised her that day. Handing her tissues, and offering his school coat to her to cover her skirt. They had walked home together that day, which was a rare event even though they had lived across the street from each other. She was touched from his actions and he had a found a good friend in his nerdy, irritating class president cum neighbour.

From that point onwards, Baekhyun and Hye Hee were pretty much inseparable. They enjoyed each other's company to their and their classmate's surprise. He still teased her but knew his limits. At times, he would join in and help her with the tasks in hand.

They were happy. It felt complete. Extremely mismatched, although, it seemed to work out for them.

Hye hee brought herself back to reality when the black hoodie man got up from his table. She looked at him till he went to the door, when suddenly he turned to meet eyes with her for a second, as if he knew she was watching him.

Finishing the last page, she lifted her eyes to find that it was nearly six in the morning. Picking herself up and rushing to her office, she submitted her manuscript when her friend found her.

“You! Do you even check your phone?.... Omg what the hell? Girl, you look like a panda again!!!”, Jae In said surprised.

Lee Jae In, her only comrade in this lonely business. Hye hee and Jae In were both interns when they met. The competitiveness wouldn't let them be friends in the beginning. Getting ahead was more important. As years passed, they realised how alike they were and slowly got to know each other. Jae In (or Jane, as she preferred to be called) and hye hee were now the rare colleague- friend combo.

“I’m sorry.. You called? I had to work overnight for this…”, hye hee explained, frantically digging through her bag to find her phone.

“Forget about that… i have to tell you something really important.”

Jane paused to have her friend’s full attention.

“Baekhyun’s getting married.”

“What?”, hye hee whispered.

“Go out with me.”, baekhyun casually dropped one evening when both of them sat by a tiny pond, feet dipped in the water.

Hye hee turned to stare at him with disbelief. “What? No!”, she exclaimed.

“Why?”, he whined, “look i’m way better than daniel anyway. So you’ll be safer with me.”

“Safer?”

“The guy’s a literal jerk. How can i trust him with you?”

“You thought i was asking for your permission?”

“Look, you like me, i like you. What's the problem?”

“The problem is we’re friends!”

Baekhyun then kissed her. Trying to give her reasons, hoping that the kiss will be a silent confession of his feelings that he did not quite understand himself. All the 16 year old knew was that he was jealous when his friend spoke to other boys or dressed up for them. He hated that she would be their company.

He loved her. He had always loved her.

Breaking the kiss, both sat without uttering a word. It was new for them. The feelings that they were experiencing. Baekhyun watched her with the corner of his eye, judging her reactions. A tiny smile broke across her face, and he sighed in relief.

They were in love.

No one was surprised, really. Their friends always thought they were dating secretly.

Like all young lovers, they faced everything. Misunderstandings, passion, anger, jealousy and unceasing love.

Regardless, they became each other's strength. Hye hee wanted to pursue journalism and write, Baekhyun wanted to be a singer, as his passion wouldn't let him pursue anything other. They worked hard to achieve their goals, frequently disappointed with the outcomes. Working as  team, they supported each other, and became the other’s driving force to hold on and keep trying.

“I'm giving up.”, Baekhyun screamed, as he walked into Hye Hee’s room one evening.

“Baekhyun?”, Hye hee inquired from the bathroom.

“Yeah..”, he sulked on the bed.

“You should KNOCK when you come. I'm a GIRL.”, she stressed across the door.

“Yeah… GIRLFRIEND. by the way that's not the point. I'm tired Hye hee. I didn't get in through this audition too. I… I can't anymore.”, He sighed.

“Don't give up Baekhyun. You love music and you're good. Honestly, if you weren't, I wouldn't be pushing you. But you're really good!”, She said stepping out of the bathroom.

He looked at her, and he forgot about the audition for a minute. What had he done to deserve her? She was beautiful. She caught him staring and smiled.

“You're being so obvious that you're in love with me.”, She cockily said.

“I do love you.”, Baekhyun cooed, wrapping his arms around her waist.

The past came back like a whip. It was just a second. Jane realised that Hye Hee wasn't listening to her. Baekhyun and Hye Hee's relationship had gone downhill ever since he was accepted into SM agency as a trainee.

First, they hardly had any time to see each other. When they did, Baekhyun would just sleep, too tired to go out.

Only, during the trainee year, he was still the Baekhyun she knew. He was tired, but at least he was still her old buddy, her first love.

After he debuted, that's when the difference began. He wouldn't pick her calls, if he did, he wouldn't talk much. It drove her insane.

Baekhyun was in ecstasy. The new found fame, the popularity, his name on everyone's lips, it made him feel on top of the world. He was a sensation and he knew it.

“Hi.. Baekhyun right?”, A young girl peeped in one day when he was in a vocal room of his company practicing.

“Oh! Hello! Yes, I'm Baekhyun.”, Baekhyun bowed to his senior, and his idol.

Girls generation's leader, Taeyeon.

“I've been meaning to meet you guys! But we had to leave for a concert.”, She said shaking his hand.

It had begun there. Girls generation was always hanging out with their new maknae boy group who were so filled with energy. Everyone noticed how much taeyeon and Baekhyun loved each other's company. They shared food, jokes, even had inside jokes that they giggled on.

Baekhyun had idolized Taeyeon. He had a massive crush on her since school days. Now, he was able to talk to her and she was exactly how he had dreamed she would be. Sweet, gentle, an Angel, and so beautiful. Taeyeon was attracted to him too. He was lively, cute and made her laugh.

Baekhyun was loving life. He would tell Hye Hee about taeyeon when they spoke on the phone. It was always about taeyeon or exo. He was so drunk off of his company, that he couldn't wait each day to get back to work. He anticipated taeyeon’s call more than Hye Hee. At times, he'd pick her call when Hye hee and Baek went out on their very rare trips out, talking for hours.

Hye hee was jealous. She wanted to be supportive and not behave like a controlling bitch. But her boyfriend was suddenly so into another super pretty, model-esque girl, not to mention part of the biggest girl group of the time, it bugged her. They had common ground of conversation. Something now Baekhyun and Hye hee lacked.

“We're just really good friends, Hye Hee. She's amazing too…”, he convinced her.

“Did you tell her you have a girlfriend?”, Hye hee asked innocently, poking at her noodles.

“Yeah, that's what we discuss about at work.”, He laughed it off.

“It didn't seem like you were talking about work..”, she whispered softly, but he heard it.

“Are you being suspicious?”, He asked.

“No…”, she said, unable to meet his eyes.

“Look, I don't really want to do this right now. Let's eat and go, I'm really tired.”

Hye hee convinced herself that it wasn't how she thought it was. Deciding to have dinner with him today, she bought his favourite food, healthy ofcourse, and called up Junmyeon.

“Hey Hye Hee!”, Jun Myeon boomed on the phone, “ it's been long since we've spoken! How're you?”

“Hi oppa. I'm good. It's just that I miss you guys, and thought we could have dinner together? Are you all free tonight? I wanted to surprise Baekhyun.”, Hye hee radiated.

“Ah! Yes we're free. But all the boys wouldn't be home till late 10 I guess. Baekhyun and Jongdae are home I think. Why don't you ahead over? I'll see you there later..”, he informed.

Thanking him, Hye Hee, bopped to their dorm. Feeling oddly happy that she was doing something for the tired Baekhyun. Usually she would be too busy with work herself to enjoy any free time.

Reaching over, she put in the code, she knew so well. Baekhyun's room was on the first floor, so she decided to say hello to Jongdae first. Knocking twice, when she slowly opened the door, she found him strewn on his bed, sleeping with his mouth open.

Wow, he must be really tired. I’ll wake him up later when junmyeon gets here.  She thought and shut his door.

Baekhyun must be tired too, i was so harsh on him. He needed me the most now and all i've really done is be all jealous. I was being a bad girlfriend.

She opened his door slightly, incase he was sleeping too. He wasnt in his room though. Hearing muffled voices coming from the balcony, she tiptoed across the bedroom to find him.

“I miss you too… guess what? Let’s have dinner at my place tomorrow. The guys will be out and we can have the place to ourselves.”, baekhyun giggled over the phone, with no idea that hye hee was standing right behind him.

It was taeyeon on the phone. Hye Hee’s heart shattered. Without knowing how to deal with anything, she left without a word. Baekhyun, giddy over the phone, hadn't realized anything yet. It was when suho came home, finding the takeouts on the table, did he ask baekhyun about it.

“Hey baek, where’s hye hee?”

“What? I don't know.. At home maybe. Why hyung?”,baekhyun without a care in the world.

“Why didn't she stay?”

“Stay where?”

“She came here to see you right? The food is on the table.”, suho said confused, pointing at the dinner table.

Horror crawled in on Baekhyun’s face.

“When? When did she?”

“She didn't meet you?”

“When did she call you?”

“I don't know around 8?.....”

Baekhyun knew. She had heard him. He did notice someone who looked so much like her run down the street. But he had brushed it off.

He grabbed his jacket and ran to his home, his heart thudding uncontrollably.

Hye Hee wasn't responding to his calls anymore and after sometime it said switched off. She wasn't home.

Where could she have gone?

Running around his neighbourhood at 1 AM, he found her at last. She stared straight at him. She had been crying for long, but now her cheeks were stained with the dried tears.

He approached her slowly, sitting beside her. When she didn't say a word, Baekhyun worked up courage.

“Hye hee.”

“We're over.”, She stated.

“Let me explain.”

“There's nothing to explain Baekhyun.”

“Taeyeon…”

“Stop it! STOP IT!”, she screamed into the night.

“Stop saying her name! I get it! She's the one you've always wanted! But you should have had the mere decency to tell me that you didn't love me anymore! You could…”, she broke into tears again.

It hurt him to watch her so broken, worse, because of him. He had knew that he had feelings for Taeyeon, but he forgot that unintentionally was hurting Hye hee.

“I guess we should just take a break.”, Baekhyun whispered. It was making him crazy. He loved Hye Hee but taeyeon made his heart beat. Was it possible to be in love with two people at the same time?

“You love her..”, Hye hee softly said.

“I love you too.”

“No. You don't. I'm just someone you're used to.”

“No… Hye hee…”,tears filled his eyes realising what her words meant.

“Look. We've been dating since high school, right? So we never really dated a lot. Maybe she's the one. You never know.”, Hye hee muttered, more to convince herself.

“C'mon, run back. You've got to leave for China tomorrow right? You need rest.”, She continued.

Baekhyun stared at her. He felt an ache build in his chest. She'd been such an important part of his life and ripping it out wasn't going to be easy. “No point continuing this if there's no love Baekhyun. We'll just continue to be anxious. It's time to move on. I don't want to hold you back.”

With that, she hugged him one last time. Hye Hee embraced him, wanting to engrave him in her memory forever. Baekhyun wrapped his hands around her. His first love, his best friend, the super girl, who was good at video games as well as academics was leaving him. Nothing he said or did would make a difference now. They had grown and they had changed.

It was an end of an era.

Meanwhile, the words rang in her head as Hye Hee tried to continue her day as usual...Baekhyun is getting married.

It’s out! I’m so nervous about this story so do let me know your thoughts on it!! :D thank you for reading

[legit-min-yoongi-trash-tho]

Jealousy - Hoseok Scenario

Title; Jealousy

Genre; Smut

Type; Scenario

Group/Member; BTS – J-Hope (Hoseok/Hobi)

Summary; You are a member of a girl group and Jung Hoseoks girlfriend, you have to do a sexy solo dance with a male backup dancer during the middle of your groups set. Hoseok gets jealous and smut ensues. Big smut ending.

Request; ok 1st of all, your yoongi scenario was really good. Can you please do a Hobi one where you are in a girl group and you have to do a sexy dance with a male back up dancer and he gets jealous. Can you please add in a little smut (if you’re ok w. it)

{Requested}

Words; 2405 😊

{Warnings; just daddy kink}

Authors Notes; Thank you so much, that means a lot ^_^ Thank you for your request, hope you like it!! 😊

Sweat rolled down your neck as you and your group finalised the moves for your next concert, you choreographer stood to the side nodding along to the heavy beat of the music. He began clapping with a smile when the music finally ended and you let out a long breath moving to the benches at the side of the room and grabbing your water bottle. Taking a huge gulp of the water in your hand you watched as the choreographer reset the music back to the beginning again. It seemed this day was never going to end.

You groaned as you got up, your muscles now becoming stiff. You heard the door of the practice room open and watched as four, very toned, very handsome backup dancers walked in.

“Okay girls, when you go on tonight you’ll obviously be dancing with one backup dancer each but when it gets to the end of your set” the choreographer paused and looked directly at you “you’ll break off and do your solo dance with your backup dancer”

You and the other girls nodded, fully understanding the set. The four guys came over and introduced themselves, their polite attitude a nice change from all the previous backup dancers you’d had before. Your choreographer started the music up and everyone took their places, ready to go over the dance for the fiftieth time that day.

By the time the day had ended almost everyone had left except for you and your backup dancer who still needed to go over some moves. His hands were situated on your hips as he moved his body with yours along to the music. You pulled your arms up to wrap around his neck whilst still facing the mirror, jutting your hip out to the right and your head going in the opposite direction.

You pulled away from each other breathing heavily. “You did really well. You’re definitely a fast learner” You said with a smile on your face

“Thanks, I’ve been training for a long time so it’s good to see the hard work pay off” your backup dancer, who’s name you’d learnt was Junho, said, grinning widely.

You laughed, knowing exactly what that felt like, “Tell me about it”

You and Junho had been sat on the floor of the practice room for about half an hour swapping training stories and choreography horror tales. You were laughing at a story he was telling you about a choreographer from hell when the practice room door opened, your boyfriend Hoseok entering the room with a small smile on his lips.

“Oppa! What are you doing here?” You exclaimed, getting up from your spot to greet him

His smile faltered for a moment when he saw the backup dancer sat on the floor where you’d previously been too, he blinked for a second before looking at you with a smile once more.

“You hadn’t come home yet so I figured you’d still be here. I brought you some snacks” Hoseok listed up a small plastic bag to illustrate his words.

Your face lit up at the mention of food and you grabbed Hoseoks hand pulling him towards where you and Junho sat. You smiled at Junho who smiled back and bowed lightly to Hoseok.

“Hoseok-oppa, this is Junho my backup dancer for our next set. Junho, this is Hoseok-oppa” You explained to them each with a giggle.

Hoseok bowed back politely and Junho began to get up “I really should go home now, you two enjoy your snacks. It was nice to meet you Hoseok-ssi”

Hoseok didn’t even look up, muttering “You too”, to which you scowled at, nudging him. When he looked up you nodded slightly to Junho raising your eyebrows.

He rolled his eyes and looked towards Junho who was zipping up his dance bag.

“Uhm…Junho, why don’t you…. Join us for some snacks?” He offered, receiving a happy smile from you and a surprised look from Junho.

“Sure…That sounds great thanks” He chuckled, sitting back down.

Eventually you and Junho got to talking about past trainee stories again, him telling you one that had you wiping tears from your eyes at one point. Hoseok sat there with a small frown on his face. He was here to see you; your attention should be all on him. He crossed his arms huffing quietly, Junho wasn’t even that funny anyway.

Half way through Junho’s story Hoseok stood up and pulled you up with him much to your confusion.

“Well, it’s getting quite late and we really should be going now” He said, pulling you along by the wrist.

“Hey! Hoseok let go!” You hit his arm lightly but he didn’t let go of your wrist

You turned to Junho quickly “I’ll see you tomorrow Junho! Keep working on your hip movements!” You said with a laugh just as you were pulled out of the room by your demanding boyfriend.

Hoseok dragged you by your wrist all the way to the car, pushing you into the passenger seat before rounding the car and getting in himself. The entire drive home he was silent despite your best efforts to start a conversation. By the time you had arrived home you had concluded two possible reasons for his mood. Either he was jealous, or horny. Or both. Probably both considering the two seemed to coincide most of the time.

Hoseok left the car and went straight into the house with an unreadable expression on his face. You followed closely behind him and jumped slightly when he reached behind you and slammed the door. You swallowed a little looking at your boyfriend who seemed to be mid thought when he caught you staring at him.

“I don’t think you should do your solo dance with him jagiya” He grumbled “I don’t trust him.”

You laughed “You don’t trust him? What do you mean? All we’re doing is dancing, it’ll be fine” You said with an eyebrow raised

“Well change partners, ” Hoseok said crossing his arms “Swap with the girls”

You scoffed lightly “Hoseok I can’t just swap…Our performance is tomorrow”

He was silent for a moment, his eyes avoiding yours. Conclusions swam around in your mind for a while before you laughed a little too loudly making Hoseok jump.

“Oh my god…” You giggled “You’re jealous, aren’t you?”

Hoseok blushed slightly and scoffed “What? No. What are you talking about?”

You laughed again “Well I think you are. Maybe when we do the performance I’ll let him touch me more than he’s supposed to” you giggled, moving to sit on the sofa.

Within an instan, Hoseok was beside you, his thin fingers around your throat and his lips at your ear.

“You will do no such thing babygirl” He growled “Don’t forget who owns you”

His other hand made its way into your shorts and straight into your pants, his fingertips brushing against your clit. Hoseok smirked as you let out a little whimper, begging for more. You could feel his teeth grazing your earlobe and the hand around your throat pressed a little harder as three of his fingers slipped inside you. You moan slightly biting your lip, hard.

Hoseok hummed in your ear “You can barely take three fingers…why don’t we try four babygirl?” He muttered, slipping a fourth finger inside of you.

“Hoseok please…” You whimpered

“Uh-uh, that’s not what you call me when we’re playing is it kitten??” Your boyfriend whispered, his hand tightening yet again.

You moaned moving your hips a little, needing more friction “Please…. Daddy, I need more” You whined.

Hoseok began to curl his fingers slowly causing you to let out small moans. Your hips bucked up a little, needing his fingers to be faster.

“No, no kitten, you don’t set the pace. Daddy does, now behave unless you want me to bruise your pretty little ass with my belt” He growled in your ear.

You moaned at his words, soft gasps leaving your lips as his pace increased slightly stroking against your walls making you clench your fists as his other hand left your throat and began slowly circling your clit. You bite your lip as Hoseok slowly but surely brings you to your peak. You begin to pant as your orgasm approaches. Just as you’re about to cum Hoseok’s fingers leave you and he stands up moving to the bedroom, a smirk on his lips. You slump against the sofa, a frown on your face. Eventually you stand up and stop sulking, formulating a revenge plan in your head as you make your way into the bedroom you share with Hoseok, slipping into pyjamas and then into bed.

By the time the morning had come, you had thought of just how to get back at your boyfriend for yesterday and you needed Junho for the plan to work. Hoseok had already left when you got up so taking a quick shower you got dressed and texted the girls to pick you up. About an hour and a half later you and your group, along with the backup dancers were performing on stage, your fans thrusting light sticks into the air as their chants grew louder. You spotted Hoseok backstage watching the set.

Finally, the performance was almost at an end and it was time for your solo. The girls and other backup dancers broke away as Junho’s hands found their way onto your hips. Your hands were all over Junho as you danced and his were all over you. Mid way through the dance you grabbed his hands and pulled them to slide over your bare stomach and let one move up to your neck. By the end of the solo dance as the lights went down both you and Junho were all hot and bothered. Hugging him tightly and kissing him on the check you laughed.

“Thank you such much Junho, you did so well out there!” You exclaimed.

Junho’s face was flushed and you could see a small blush creeping up his cheeks “Y-Yeah, you too! Hey, you wanna go and get drink maybe later?”

Before you could answer a strong hand gripped your upper arm and a rough voice sounded from behind you both.

“Sorry, but kitten is occupied later. Thanks for the invite though.” Hoseok growled and pulled you off stage ignoring your quiet protests.

Déjá vu signalled in your mind as Hoseok pulled you to the car and sped home, practically kicking the door open upon arriving. He pulled you to the bedroom and threw you on the bed and began stripping before you and then pulling you to the floor whilst you tried and failed to wriggle from his grip.

“On your knees slut, stay where I put you” He growled for the second time that night

You watched from the floor as he took his cock in his hand and began slowly stroking it, his hand gripping tighter each time it moved. He moved towards you and raised an eyebrow. You opened your mouth a little, knowing exactly what he meant.

“Open your mouth. Wider.” Hoseok said from above you and you followed his words knowing if you didn’t he’d would just make you.

You took his cock into your mouth and started moving, your cheeks hollowing and your tongue swirling around his length.

Hoseok let out a small groan and moved his hands to your head, signalling that he wanted to fuck your throat. As his hips began to move faster and faster, his tip hit the back of your throat repeatedly and tears began to form in the corners of your eyes. Hoseok was wrapped up in his own pleasure as a range of sounds came from his throat ranging from loud groans to viper like hisses. You kept your eyes on him as he pushed his cock so far down your throat you choked a little, tears now freely falling down your cheeks. You felt it as he released his hot cum down your throat with a loud moan, his eyes shut tight whilst he bit his lip.

Pulling his cock from your mouth he made you open wide to check you had swallow all he had to give you.

“Good girl, now for the real fun. You are going to get on that bed, face down ass up and Daddy, is going to fuck you until his name is the only one you remember. Got it?” Hoseok whispered, his hand under your chin.

“Yes Daddy” You whimpered as her stroked your cheek

“Fuck, you look so beautiful when you cry.” Hoseok groaned and pushed you towards the bed.

You positioned yourself how he asked and lay your head on your pillow waiting for further command. You could feel the bed dip as your boyfriend knelt behind you. A loud crack sounded as his hand came down on your ass. You let out a small cry, pushing your ass up more, putting yourself even further on display for him.

Hoseok chuckled at your reaction and slammed his cock into your pussy without warning, watching as you gasped loudly, pushing your face deeper into the pillow beneath you.

“You’re going to take all of me, I don’t care if it’s too much.” He rasped before beginning to pound into you at a bruising speed, his hips slamming into yours. “You like that kitten? Hmm? You like it when Daddy fucks your little pussy like this babygirl?”

“Ye-Yes Daddy” You moaned in response, hands gripping the sheets of your bed

He began moving even faster, his cock hitting your g-spot hard. “I bet Junho wouldn’t be able to fuck you like this would he kitten? Hmm?”

A torrent of moans fell from your lips “No Daddy, only you.” You cried out, your orgasm beginning to approach as the knot in your stomach tightened

Hoseoks thrusts grew sloppier as he reached his high, but continued to ride yours out, leaving you a sweaty and moaning mess pressing your face into the pillows.

He soon pulled out of you and rolled to lie next to you as you simply rolled onto your side, the breath completely knocked out of you. Your boyfriend wrapped his arms around your waist as he peppered kissed up your neck.

“Maybe I should make you jealous again huh?” you whispered breathily.

Hoseok chuckled “We’ll see how fun that idea seems when I spank your ass purple kitten…..”

{Request anything you want guys}

[kisskissbadguys]

My Best Friend Jericho. Part Fourteen.

BLACKPOOL It was 10:30am and everyone was already in their coaches. I was on coach A next to Jericho again and for once I had woke up without a headache from a hangover and so did Jericho. We finally took off at 10:35am and everyone gave a cheer. I put in my earphones and started to play my music when my one earphone was ripped out and shove in to his own ear. He straight away knew the song and we both looked at each other and began to relive last night as we burst out singing. ‘What do I have to do to get inside of you? To get inside of yooou! Cos I like the way you move when I’m inside of you, when I’m inside of you, ooo.’ We then turned to each other upon realising what exactly we were singing out loud and burst out laughing. The verse was approaching and I decided to sing the “woos” and “wo wo’s” as loud as I can just to make it even more inappropriate and then really go for it on the last chorus and ending. I really loved this song and it was only when singing it out loud I realised how dirty the song was. Which I actually found out is pretty much the same for all music these days, everything is about sex now. I decided after the first song to just take out my earphones as I looked over at Jericho who was resting his head back on the rest and taking small breaths in which was him basically going in to a sleep. The journey was going to be a long one as it was the last day and we were having to go straight into work when we got there because of timing. I packed my earphones in my trouser pocket and got comfy too. Surprisingly the headrests were actually really comfy and before I knew it, I was imagining myself on the dancefloor but this might of actually just been memories of last night. Time seemed to fly by as I slowly opened my eyes and the brightness of the day hit me. I looked around the coach as I took a few breaths and swallowed often trying to get rid of my dry mouth. I stretched my arms up in the air and kicked my feet forward, narrowly missing kicking the person in front before I turned to my right to see Jericho and I thought it would be nice to have a chat. I mean at the end of the day he was sitting next to me and we finally had a chance to talk again and it was the last day too! “You ready for the last UK show?” I asked him as I turned my head around and rested my head on the headrest to get comfy for the conversation. “I am. I’m really ready.” He said back as he copied my actions and we instantly knew we were about to delve into a deep conversation. One we hadn’t had in such a long time. It was well overdue. “I actually think this might be best I’ve felt about a fight in a long time.” “Oh yeah, whys that?” “For the first time…in a long time, I’ve finally got a weight off my shoulders.” I knew that usually I would of took some kind of offence to that being said but really deep down I was really happy that he felt so good and finally we had everything out in the open. “I’m really glad. Like, really glad.” I commented. He looked me deep in my eyes and gave out such a sweet smile. It was so weird as ever since our chat yesterday my feelings were already changing. I think it was just knowing that there would never be anything between us that it finally hit me and I knew I had to get over him and it was already beginning as not only was I already not seeing him that way but I just didn’t want to think about him that way anymore. His eyes flicked up to meet mine but his smile slowly disappeared as if he knew what I was thinking about. “Not in a bad way, you know.” “I know, J, don’t worry you don’t have to explain anything like that. I get it.” “I just felt bad saying that.” “Hey, it’s okay” I chuckled. We both smiled at each other again as our heads remained in the same position as we stared at each other. “You know, I never realised your eye colour. They’re really pretty.” Jericho said to me as my smile got bigger. “Thank you, they’re kind of like yours but yours are lighter, mine have that green bit in the middle and then brown specks in it.” “Yeah, never known anyone with that, it’s really fascinating.” “Fascinating?” “Yeah, it’s so nice. I’ve never seen it before.” “Really? I’ve had it my whole life.” “Really?” He sarcastically remarked before letting out a laugh to which I laughed back too. We shared a moment as we laughed together. It was like old times again. “Did you always want to work for WWE?” He carried on the conversation. “Yeah. Always. I used to watch it when I was younger. You were actually my favourite.” “Serious?” He shot up out of his seat. “Erm… hell yeah.” He tilted his head towards me and lowered his eyebrows in the middle. “What the shit.” He said. “What?” I gave out a giggle. “I was your favourite? Man, I feel ancient!” “No, no way, you’ve just been in the business for a long time, and you’ve been big the whole time too. It’s not that your old.” “Shit. It bloody feels it now. How old were you when you first started watching then?” “Well that’s a question and half.” I paused as I shot up out my seat too. “I remember when I was really young and me and my brother went to a WWF match with my aunty.” “WWF? Oh my gosh, I haven’t heard that in years!” “I know and that’s actually one of my first memories. The foam hand, being at the front too. It was incredible. I’ll never forget it. It was such an incredible feeling, the atmosphere, the sounds, oh wow, I loved it.” “And what made you want to get involved with the makeup instead of being a wrestler then?” “Probably because I’ve always been interested in makeup, being able to mask yourself as someone else is fascinating to me. ‘Give a man a mask and he’ll become his true self.’ But no way I could be a wrestler, I’ve had trouble with my spine all my life.” “What’s up with your spine?” “Well my moms is deteriorating and one of my discs on my lower back is slightly loose and often hits the nerve which, for some weird reason, always affects my shoulders, like they really ache.” “You are a strange one, you know that?” His face was lit up like a Christmas tree the whole time I spoke. “We’ve known each other for like 6 years now and I’ve never known this about you.” “Well you know that kind of proves you don’t need to know everything about someone to be their friend. We’ve got a lot of similar interests and we bonded over that.” “Your right Missy.” The coach suddenly came to a holt and we all launched forward slightly, almost like we were all head hanging, and I turned to Jericho who was already laughing. “Facking hell.” I said in my best cockney accent as loud as I could. Finally we had reached Blackpool and it was time to get off. I felt a breeze pass me as I was undoing my belt. I looked up to see a slim figure by my side with a big grey bag. They were wearing a black hoody and dark grey joggers and a dark grey beanie. It was Seth and as soon as the coach driver unlocked the doors he was straight out. He must have been eager to stretch his legs even though you were able to get out your seat and stretch them on the coach. He left a smell of diesel and I couldn’t help but take a deep breath in and take it all in. I undid my belt and looked at Jericho who was already standing and waiting for me to move before I got off the coach. We all made our way into the hotel and stood in the main entrance like we were about to enter a huge concert with how many there were of us. As it was the last day there was going to be another talk at the front and we were all prepared for it. A spokes person stood on a little stool that was in front of the reception and we all couldn’t help but laugh at the sight. “Ladies and gentlemen. We, all here at WWE, want to say an absolutely huge thank you to each and every single one of you for your work over the past how many days.” I let out a loud “woo!” as everyone laughed and a few more “woo’s” followed as I turned around to see most people looking at me and then looked away and back at the spokesperson. All but one anyway. Seth. He was standing quite far away but I could see his eyes were on me even though his beanie was pulled down pretty far. I smiled at him and gave a little wave hoping he’d wave back but instead he just continued to stare. I decided to turn back to the spokesman as he continued on. “It’s been a crazy ride but we’ve all made it alive and that’s the main thing.” We all laughed again and I once again turned to check on Seth who was still looking in my direction. I gave him another smile as he stood there in the same stance with legs slightly apart and his hands in his hoody pockets at the front. His head was slightly tilted back so I definitely knew it was him and I have to admit, he looked really cute. I could feel my heart was picking up and beating faster as I bit the right corner of my bottom lip and had to turn away. “Today is of course the last day and it’s completely up to you what you want to do after today. Of course there’s a few who already have flights and we’ll happily take you to the airport tomorrow morning but for the rest of you. You have 2 days to do whatever, let your hair down, go absolutely crazy. But from all of us, we want to thank you from the bottom of our hearts.” The man finally got off the stool before then shouting. “It’s 2pm so can we all start getting ready now please?” It was the earliest we’d had to get ready for the whole trip but people were already outside waiting to come in because it was Blackpool and there was a lot of tourism. The main ring was still being set up and we all decided it was only right to get ready early so we could take our time and get everything completely perfect. The makeup department had a lot of time as when we get extra time to get ready that’s what people want doing so they can just sit in the chair and sleep. “I’m going to head up to my room.” I turned and said to Jericho as he pulled me in for a hug before nodding at me. I turned around and walked in the direction of Seth when I realised he wasn’t around. I continued to walk in the same direction, looking for him but in the huge crowd of bodies I couldn’t find him. I felt my eyebrows lower and crease in the middle as for the life of me, I couldn’t see him. I shook my head and made my way up the stairs and to my room where I threw my suitcase on the chair that was in the corner and took a breath in. Today was my day. As I went through my bags I pulled out my main makeup items that I just kept on me and decided to do more to my makeup and change. I threw my clothes on the chair next to my suitcase, jumped in the shower and changed my underwear so they were matching. I changed into a bodycon that was the colour ‘oxblood’. It had a slit up on the right leg which went up quite high which was unusual for me but today was my day and I was going to grab it with both hands. The straps were thin and it was a plunging v-neck which showed everything I wanted to and I decided to leave the cardigan off this time. I used to always wear cardigans but I felt confident today and didn’t want it. Finally when I was completely ready and had my nude strapped heels on, I made eye my way downstairs and into the makeup rooms.

[banacafe]

[20170219] B1A4 4nightsintheus SF Fanaccount

NOTICE: This concert happened about a month ago (almost two >.<), and I haven’t got time to write it. I am writing everything by memory, so don’t take my account as the most accurate. There are a lot of things I am missing. || PS. All of the photos and fancams will be at the very bottom of the post. Thank you @b90xng15 for donating your photos :)

JOURNEY: @b90xng15​ and I went to SF and arrived around 10:45ish. It was sprinkling (it rained later), but we brought an umbrella. We lined up at 11am. I believe it was around 1pm (again, this was a month and a half ago, so my memory is really static) is when the staff started to ask who has a VIP ticket and started handing out the wristbands. After that, they passed out goodies: sprout clips, signs that said “영원히 함께 하자!” and “행복하자!”. I think waiting, especially in the rain, was the hardest for me, not to mention when you’re hungry or need to rush to the bathroom. A few hours or so passed, and without noticing, everyone in line began racing towards the venue. I was like “WTF.” I honestly didn’t know why or what they were running to. I didn’t move because I didn’t want to lose my spot. But I decided to run. Until we found out that it was only for people who had VIP tickets. No offense, Warfield, this was handled unprofessionally (but this complaint is for another discussion). Anyways, we had to create two lines: VIPs had to line up against the wall, and GA seating and everyone else were lined against the sidewalk.

WHEN WE GOT INSIDE: At 7, that was when we were allowed to go in. As the line started moving, I was actually excited. They allowed only 10 people to go at a time. When we got to security, they told us to take out all of our phones and electronics inside the box to get scan. When I tried removing my things, the security told me, “Just come through, hon.” I was like, “What? Don’t I need a security check?” She told me no. Then, I realized it was because I didn’t have a bag, which was why they let me through. **RANDOM NOTE: If you go to a concert and want to get in ASAP, carry light (just in case). Because all of my personal things fit inside my pockets, and I rocketed through the security. They will always check bags. Yet again, depends on the venue.**

When I got inside Warfield, I didn’t stop to the bathroom or buy any merchandises, I rushed to auditorium. B1A4’s songs were playing in the background (I forgot which song was playing when I got in). The pit was halfway full, and I didn’t want take that bullet because I was too short to see, so I moved to the GA seating. The very front row of the GA seating against the railing! It was the most perfect seat! 

BEGINNING: Right before the show started, BANAs were singing along to the songs, which I love hearing. The lights dimmed down, and the song got louder. This was a que that the concert was starting. And there they were! B1A4 came out waving and greeting us. THEY WERE SO TALL! Which is why I don’t get it when people kept on saying Sandeul and Baro’s small lol. (Of course, with my height, everyone’s tall). >> Side Note: I was still sick from the week before and had a really bad cough, which was why I only cheered at the beginning (especially for CNU ^^;;). RIP my voice and throat. 

SONGLIST:

**DISCLAIMER: This list is from 4nightsintheus Chicago. I couldn’t find the list for SF. Since the order of the songs was close (excluding the ment/intro/talking), I just used this one. // © ellysooh (Twitter) >> If you went to SF, please correct me if I had any of these songs in the order wrong. The accurate, the better. I remembered all of the songs, but to exactly remember what have happened, my brain is useless. I will be filling in what I remember. *sobs*

멜랑꼴리: Jinyoung’s smiling face was all I saw since he was the first one to sing the song.

In the Air: Put your hands in the air~oh oh oh~ And there goes the hands in the air!

Oh my God

악몽

You

네에게 한번더 반하는 순간

Yesterday: I remembered BANA singing along “Yesterday~ay” with their hands waving in the air. It was so sweet and cute.

Sweet Girl: My memory is permanently gone for this song, but this song had the most cheer.

Lonely: After “Sweet Girl,” they all formed a circle, and CNU was facing the front. Just with that position, I knew which song it was. To see this song being performed was surreal.

거짓말이야: I died! I died! This song was the reason why I liked B1A4. Sadly, I don’t remember a thing at all except for Gongchan’s part in the climax and towards Sandeul’s pitch. My voice was dying, but I cheered Sandeul on until I started to crack.

꿈에

If (너만 있으면): This was the most blessing performance! I loved this song, and to hear it live was the best! I was happy when Jinyoung and Sandeul started to collaborate vocalizing during Baro’s rap. It was just beautiful. Also, when they were singing “you, you, 너만 있으면~,” Sandeul was pointing at me ahh <3

(Ment): Baro was telling us that we were going to a Time Machine, back to their first days in debut, which transitioned to “OK.”

TIME MACHINE:

OK: I love you~oohh~ We waved our glowsticks from right to left (if you know the choreograph ^^).

Beautiful Target

Baby

I'm Sorry

잘자요 굿나잇

걸어본다

이게 무슨 일이야: Every BANAs love this song! The main part everyone sang was “거짓말”

Solo Day: The entire time, I was looking at Sandeul because A.) this song reminds me of him B.) He’s always so enthusiastic and on top of the game while dancing to this song <33

물 한잔

몇번을

내가 널 찾을게

Drunk on You: I only remember this song with BANAs, but I cannot recall what was going on stage >.<

-----This is where the shower began-----

Sparkling: Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh~ (Just look at the fancam^^)

Good Timing: was literally on repeat 4 or 5 time while we were showering ^~ And everytime it began to play, the atmosphere was getting more and more intense! You have to see this live to feel the energy. BANAs were jumping and so hyped at this encore!

☆☆☆RANDOM MOMENTS I REMEMBER☆☆☆

**NOTE: There are tons a Baro moments because he was talking the most.**

We were waiting in line, and behind us, “이게 무슨 일이야 (What’s going on?)”  was playing. We all turned and saw the police car driving passed us with B1A4’s song played in their intercom. It was so cool! We couldn’t help but made a loud scream. This happened twice, and it caught us off guard ^^

All night, we heard Baro saying, “Wanna get lit?” and “Are you guys ready to get lit?”—I don’t use words like “lit,” but if someone says it, now reminds me of Baro.

B1A4 were talking about crabs and how good it tasted. CNU then said, “BANA is more beautiful than crabs.”hehe

Baro was asking us if we liked their 3rd album. A lot of BANAs were screaming “yes”. Again, I was sick, so I didn’t have a voice to scream. I just held a thumbs-up, and Baro saw me and stick his thumbs out too. ~o~

Since I was sitting in the middle and was at Jinyoung’s eye level, we made eye contact constantly, but I felt bad because everything he looked at me and was expecting me to sing along, I didn’t know the lyrics. To heck with my shitty presence >.<”

B1A4 was throwing towels at the end, and when Baro was throwing a towel that came towards me. There were two girls who were next to me caught the towel at the same time, and they were really trying to see who gets the towel. Baro was like, “no fighting.” LMAO

Baro was asking us, “what song would you like us to sing from our album?” A fan was answering in a distant, but Baro was like, “What song? Oh, we don’t have a song called that.” LOL

At the end, B1A4 were making their goodbye speeches to us. After Sandeul said his speech, he sang “그렇게 있어 줘.” My heart glowed 💔

❤ BIGGEST HIGHLIGHT ❤

BANAs were LOUD! I KID YOU NOT!! Omfg. BANAs totally killed it! When B1A4 was telling us to make some noise, they divided us into groups. First floor was the group 1, and the second floor was group 2. Baro said, “First Floor!,” and we cheered. When he said, “Second Floor!” The whole auditorium echoed! 2ND FLOOR WAS LOUUUDDD! Even B1A4 themselves were shocked! This crowd was really GOOD, which was why I enjoyed this concert so much. BANAs totally went beyond and exceed my expectations! Really looking forward to cheer with them again!

“Shower” (*Looks at BANAs* You know what I am talking about *winks* >> look at the fancam at the bottom to see what I am talking about): This happened during the encore. B1A4 each took a water bottle and threw it to the crowd. Baro later brought more water bottles in a crate, and they went wild with it! Baro was the best at it. Every time he threw the water, it hit me, and I was at the GA seats. That’s a good toss! Baro can really throw and knows his angle LOL. Sandeul hit me once towards the end. Jinyoung hit me twice (on my glasses and on my hand) and with his DNA. Hehe. He would take a sip from the water bottle and threw it to the crowd.

B1A4’s Goodbye Message (I need to find it a fancam)

HITOUCH: After the concert was over, all of us had to go down to the pit to give space for the line to start. We were one of the first ones who were called out to form the line. The security was strict. There was no hugging, no handshakes, and definitely no phone (but I am sure some people knew how to hide their phones because I saw a few videos of the hitouch on Youtube).

When we were in line, the crowd started cheering because B1A4 was coming from the left side of the auditorium. A girl behind the line was leaning on the side towards where they were coming from and was screaming, “Oh my gosh! Oh my gosh!” (I assumed it was one of the members who gave her a hi-five which was why she was holding her hands out and screaming out enthusiastically). When B1A4 lined up on the table, the line started to move. I was peeking behind the line as we started around and saw a fan handing a gift to Jinyoung. I thought it was sweet because he accepted it too. When we were approaching closer, I was astounded to see how handsome they really were (still are). The order was Gongchan, Sandeul, Baro, CNU, and Jinyoung (**Anyone who went to SF hitouch and has a better memory of who was in which place, feel free to correct me because @b90xng15 and I had a wonderful time debating who was first in line: Sandeul or Baro.**)

First reaction when I saw them: “WOW! They are so tall!” And the word “thank you” will get annoying because that was all I said to them. I had something in mind to say, but I went blank when I approached them.

Gongchan: When I went to Gongchan, oh my gosh! He was so handsome! I usually don’t find people around my age handsome, but man! He blew my mind off. I totally understand why B1A4 said that Gongchan is the most handsome in the group. LOL. When I slapped his hands, I said “thank you.” Honestly, I tried to hand-lock with him, but I can tell he wasn’t comfortable because he wouldn’t let me slide my fingers down, so I stopped (poor Gongchan—I must’ve scared him >.<)

Sandeul: Oh, he is so precious! Deul-ee~! His hands were so soft. And when I said “thank you” and gave him a hi-five, he was nodding with a big smile and with his eyes closing. I can still see his adorable face in my mind! Ah~! *pinches*

Baro: I came quickly and said thank you when I hi-fived him. I was expecting Baro to say something because he was so talkative during the concert. But he didn’t say anything, only nodding. One thing I like about Baro is that he made really good eye-contact, and I appreciated that!

CNU: OMFG! The moment of truth!!! CNU was my bias at that time (he still is but I am so confused about my love for him because I love ot5 too LMAO). I kinda took my sweet time with him. CNU, unlike the other members, came to hitouch with his tank-top, so I was like “don’t! please!” haha. He was leaning a little closer to me when I came because I was A LOT smaller. When I slapped his hands and thanked him (his hands were softer than sweet Sandeul’s), I literally took .00000000005 seconds extra and stared at his tired, nodding smile and gently moved my fingers on his palm. But our moment ended. (CNU looked sleepy. Of course, he’s the sleeping beauty haha)

Jinyoung: When I saw Jinyoung, I was already prepared to give him my “Thank you for being a great leader, Jinyoung,” but he was a sort of entertained by a little boom-box he carried, which was playing next to him. Jinyoung was moving and wiggling. I didn’t want to interrupt him and quickly slapped his hands and left. Jinyoung’s hands were a little rough, but it tells me how much he works (especially with his composing and guitar playing). But no chemistry. Sad face.

The only thing I “regret” (I am not much of a person hold regrets) about this experience is that I wasn’t that into B1A4 at that time. There were only a few songs I liked. I just went because I did it for @b90xng15. With all of the “I didn’t like B1A4” BS being said, I was converted into a BANA overnight even though I was in denial. After typing this fanaccount, I am getting Post Concert Depression again. *Screams* Now, I am just waiting for them to come back. And this time, I won’t get sick! And I’ll give them the best cheer!

PHOTOS:

VIP Wristbands (excuse my ugly arm)

Gongchan and his cute Sprout Clip <3

Outside of Warfield

FANCAMS

***I don’t like taking fancams, but I did for this one ^^;;; I took only 4, but these two are the best out from them. PS. If you are going to borrow these videos for whatever reason, remember to credit since I didn’t put any watermark or logo on it. WARNING: I didn’t record the entire song, only halfway, so I apologize.

B1A4 - Sparkling *showering*

B1A4 - 이게 무슨 일이야 (What’s going on?)

[5hfanfiction]

Too Close To Home - Chapter 17

“Hey LA, how are you guys feeling tonight?” I say breathlessly through the microphone while the crowd roars through the night, “you guys have been really awesome tonight and I feel like I should make it up to you guys.

"That was actually the last song on my set but how do you guys feel if I hold you guys back for another song?” Another loud cheer erupted from the audience as a sign of approval.

“Well, instead of singing a song from the album, how about I do a cover instead?” I ask rhetorically as one of the guys backstage brings a guitar to me.

I sit down on one of the steps and looks through the crowd.

This week has been a really long week. From my birthday to all the drama I’ve gone through.

After Lauren left at night yesterday, I regretfully turned on my phone, only to receive dozens of calls from the management and my parents.

My parents do know that I like girls, but they also think that I should hide it because of how hateful the world can be. Because once you’re famous, you tend to get scrutinized and everything you do are evaluated into something completely different. So my parents believe that if I come out to the public, I would get more hate and they know that I can’t handle them.

I’m a people pleaser and I’m pretty sure everyone knows that. So if you can’t do the one job that describes you, what the hell are you doing?

Over the past few years, I’ve gained fame and fans. But naturally, I’ve also gained haters.

So the call with my parents were more of them being worried for my reaction to the news than anything else. They didn’t care that I had sex with a random chick, they didn’t mention the fact that I basically have a naked picture for everyone to see now, they were just worried about what I would do as a result to the impending hate I would get.

The last time that it was this drastically dramatic was when I quit the group. I isolated myself from my family and friends for 3 days, too much of a coward to see everyone’s reaction. I was also sort of depressed and that’s probably why they’re worried now.

I actually love them for this.

The meeting with the management was something else though. It consisted of them scolding me and threatening me for being stupid enough to have sex with a girl without something called an NDA. I mean seriously, this isn’t Fifty Shades of Grey; I wasn’t abusing the chick for gods sakes.

But the meeting was nothing I couldn’t handle so at the end of the day, I was fine.

They decided not to sue the girl for taking a picture of me without my consent. They didn’t want to make a bigger deal out of it.

How I repay the management was by booking an interview on my break next week. That interview will be scripted about how I was drunk and stupid that I wasn’t at thinking clearly. Which was true to that extent, but they said that I will say it convincingly as if I’m a straight girl who had a one time thing with another girl.

When I heard what my reparations were, I felt stupid for hoping that things would change.

I feel like a puppet. Every part of me is controlled publicly. Everything I do on social medias go through them first. And not only in that sense, I also feel controlled in general. Like, seriously… Why should I ‘repay’ for something I do at my own will if I was merely doing something any human could? They’re going against human rights but they don’t care. It’s ironic how they asked me to advertise human rights in public when they, themselves, contradict that belief.

Being at the receiving end of their ruthlessness sucks balls.

Then, a few hours ago, Dinah came to the suite and basically pushed me to tell her what’s happening between Lauren and me. And I did. I trust her enough to know that she won’t tell anyone about it.

I started telling her about the AMAs last year where Lauren came to me in the dressing room. Then I told her about Lauren and Lucy’s fight; which surprised Dinah, indicating that she didn’t know anything about their relationship. I told her about our fight on the beach and how we started being friends again. She just listened, not interrupting me unless it was needed.

It felt good to finally tell someone about it. I mean, I did tell Ashlee but she’s MIA now so she doesn’t know what happened the past few days.

With Dinah, she knew about our relationship since the beginning. She was there to witness it firsthand. Ashlee only heard what I told her so it’s pretty biased since I tend to victimize myself. But that doesn’t mean I don’t appreciate her as well.

Lauren was pretty busy today, recording in the studio when she was supposed to yesterday. Instead of doing that, she accompanied me through my breakdown and I am eternally grateful for that.

We didn’t see each other today but she said that she’s coming to my concert; just a bit late.

I’m just hoping she’s here right now because the song I’m about to cover is obviously about her.

[XYLØ - I Still Wait For You (assume it's acoustic)]

Sometimes I feel like I can't remember Waking up with you when we were together I lost my temper, you left at midnight We saw the tears fall like rain on the headlights

It was always you and me How could we be nothing, nothing? I know that we don't speak But if I could ask you one thing, one thing?

Why can't we fucking get along? Forget everything we did wrong 'Cause you've been the one You know this will never change But everyday, I still wait for you No, I don't want this to be true This beautiful disaster is you 'Cause you've been the one You know this will never change But everyday, I still wait for you

(But everyday, I still wait) I still wait for you (But everyday, I still wait) I still wait for you (But everyday, I still wait) I still wait for you I still wait for you

Lately I can't sleep, I flip the pillow Tossing and turning and checking my cellphone My head is a mess and so is my bedroom I write a text then delete it, "I love you"

It was always you and me How could we be nothing, nothing? I know that we don't speak But if I could ask you one thing, one thing?

Why can't we fucking get along? Forget everything we did wrong 'Cause you've been the one You know this will never change But everyday, I still wait for you No, I don't want this to be true This beautiful disaster is you 'Cause you've been the one You know this will never change But everyday, I still wait for you

(But everyday, I still wait) I still wait for you (But everyday, I still wait) I still wait for you (But everyday, I still wait) I still wait for you I still wait for you

Every second feels like forever Where the fuck you been? Are you listening? Don't know what you've got until it's gone and Baby, all I need is you to tell me

Why can't we fucking get along? (I still wait for you) Forget everything we did wrong (I still wait for you) 'Cause you've been the one You know this will never change But everyday, I still wait for you No, I don't want this to be true (I still wait for you) This beautiful disaster is you (I still wait for you) 'Cause you've been the one You know this will never change But everyday, I still wait for you

(But everyday, I still wait) I still wait for you (But everyday, I still wait) I still wait for you (But everyday, I still wait) I still wait for you I still wait for you (But everyday, I still wait) I still wait for you (But everyday, I still wait) I still wait for you

'Cause you've been the one You know this will never change But everyday, I still wait for you

…

I am now in my dressing room, changing my performance costume to jeans and a tshirt, too tired to make an effort to beautify. It’s not like I’m going to out after this anyway. I’m just going to the tour bus and head our way to San Diego, California.

A knock woke me from my trance after I finish changing.

“Come in..” I call out.

Lauren’s smiling face pop in before walking inside. As she closes the door, I got confused.

“Where are the other girls?”

“Umm.. They’re not here. Did they say they were coming?” She asks with a raised eyebrow.

“Oh… When you said you were coming, I assume it was the whole group.”

“Nope, just me,” she shuffles her feet awkwardly. She has a hand on her back.

She brings her hand to view, holding a white rose, along with a gift bag.

“These are for you; as a fare well gift if you must. Since it’ll be a month until we meet again.”

“Umm… We’re all going to the KCAs on 31st March, aren’t we?”

“Yeah… My point exactly, next month.”

“No it’s not.. it’s this month. It’s in less than 4 weeks,” I tease, knowing that this would tick her off. She hates it when people correct her.

“It’s the same-” She stops, collecting her irritation back, knowing that I’m doing this on purpose. “Technicalities aside, this is for you.”

She holds her hand out. I smile and crush her bones by hugging her tightly. Her head snuggles to the crook of my neck, her smile obvious as her lips touches my neck. Of course it caused my breath to hitch as I realize her lips are on my neck and her breath are hitting my neck, but I held on.

After the little tense moment we had yesterday, we naturally became normal again; as normal as we can be at least. It was pretty awkward at first but after a few hours making jokes and discussing our song, we became fine again.

After sometime, we eventually release our hold on each other. I guide her to the couch on the corner of the room and sit.

“I liked your performance on the XYLØ cover, it was very raw and it seemed personal,” she says with a hopeful tone lingering on it.

“Yeah..” I say, embarrassed at the possibility of Lauren knowing my message. It’s one thing to send a message to someone but it’s another thing to receive a reaction from them.

Another knock filled the room after.

“Come in..” I repeat what I’ve said to Lauren just a few minutes before.

Dua Lipa came into view, with a huge smile plastered on her face. She’s tall, slim and of course, beautiful. She and I were acquainted last year through Charli XCX and we became pretty close after.

She’s actually bi too… Just FYI.

“Heyyy.. I’m sorry, I thought you were alone,” she says with her hypnotizing British accent.

“Oh no.. It’s okay,” I reply, standing up and meeting her halfway to give her a hug.

I sat back on the couch in the middle while Lauren and Dua sat on either side of me.

Talk about beautiful girls huh..

“Hi, I’m Dua,” she introduces, waving her hand on Lauren.

“Oh I know.. We follow each other,” she says simply, probably annoyed that she’s bothering our one-on-one.

Dua didn’t get the unwelcoming tone and lean back on the couch, a smile still tugging on her lips.

“So, Cami… I saw a very interesting article today.” She says with a knowing smirk. I immediately know what article she’s talking about.

I grunt, putting my elbows on my knees and hiding my red face on my hands.

“It’s okay, I think you looked hot actually. The only thing that surprised me was that it was a girl,” She states. I think I forgot to tell her.

“I’m bi, surprise..” I muffle through my hands with no enthusiasm at all.

“Oh.. Well, if I had known, I would’ve chased after you a long time ago,” she says, trying to lighten the conversation by making a joke.

“You suck at calming me down,” I retort.

“I lick too,” she smirk, finally making me laugh from her wordplay. She adds, “You know I wouldn’t judge you for your sexuality right? I’m glad that you came out.”

“Oh, but I’m not. I have an interview next week and say that I was just, and I quote, 'having fun’.”

She grunts, knowing how homophobic the music industry really are.

Actually, at first, her label was against the whole her being bi but she kind of rebelled afterwards. She didn’t go to meetings when she was needed, she purposely made her voice out of tune when recording songs for her album. She even run away at one point. They got tired and eventually let her. They even tried to threaten by putting her job on the line but she called their bluff. And obviously, they lost.

For me however, I don’t think I could do anything that rash. She’s daring and bold while I’m a coward.

I know I should do it, considering it’s possible. But then, I feel like she was lucky than actually tactical. My label also obviously know that I’m friend with her so I don’t think they’ll be as nice to me as they were with her.

As we talk, I realize that Lauren hasn’t said one word to me and her since she sat down, except maybe the awkward greeting.

I look over to Lauren and see her playing with her hand. She looks so small at this moment that all I wanna do is hug her.

I bring my had to her thigh to gain her attention. She looks up and smile softly at me, still jut saying anything. I look back to Dua and continue talking to her but kept my hand on her thigh, squeezing once in a while as a sign that I still want her here.

“Who gave you the rose?” Dua asks when she saw the gift on the coffee table. All the other gifts from my fans are already in the tour bus and this strike out more to say that it’s gifts from fans. Besides, why would I lie?

“Lauren.”

Dua just smirks as I answer.

“We’re just friends,” I say as nonchalantly as I could be while my heart aches when it came out of my mouth.

I feel like I’m hitting something too close to home. We’ve said that in the past before and I feel like we’re repeating history all over again. Only this time, I’m the one who said it.

I know we really are friends right now, but deep down, I’m always hoping that we have something more. It feels like it’s a reminder that I don’t really have her.

“Oh goodie, I have a chance.” Before I can say anything else, Dua continues, “Alright, I think I have to go now. It’s getting pretty late.”

She hugs me and Lauren at the same time and went her way. Before she completely walks out however, she adds, “Also, for the label hiding your sexuality.. We’re gonna do something about it. Bye, love you.”

Lauren and I sit back down with a confused expression etched on each of our faces.

“She reminds me of Vero,” Lauren finally states out loud, “very… flirty.” I just laugh in response.

We spend the whole hour talking, without any disturbance this time, laughing and smiling at each other. She talked about her day in the studio while I talked about the concert I just had.

It felt like old times. And I love it so much.

[jackmckenna-writing]

Le Fin (Short story)

“Fucking hell”,

The words were dragged out of my dry mouth as I reached for a warm can and stumbled through the sun-pierced doors of my tent. It was midday, and everyone else had already begun interfering with their chemical balances whilst circled around the fire. Meanwhile, I had woken up wondering who the fuck I am and what had happened last night.

I patted myself down and pulled the double skinner out of my pocket to then slip it into my mouth. Naturally, I fell into the camping chair and became one with the circle.  A speaker projected guitar licks and dreamy vocals into the ears of pale figures embodying the polar scale of the ‘festival feeling’ - tired or wired. I fell into the former: pale, aghast, corsped into my chair pulling a lighter out of the drinks holder. As the smoke left my mouth and eclipsed my view, I felt the burden of last night slowly wash away, and as the smoke cleared, the cloudy sky saturated into baby blue. I pulled the round sunglasses down from my head so I could face the world, instead noticing Tommy to my left looking at me with a Cheshire cat smile.

“You alright there mate”, he smirked, “had a good night last night like?”

“Quiet one innit”, I tried to play it cool, in reality I had no clue what happened and my only way of finding out was checking my drug stash or listening to the upcoming roast.

“Lad your jaw looked like a fuckin’ jackhammer, you creature”, chirped Harold to everyone’s amusement.

I blew the smoke out my nose and took the flack; it’s what festivals are about. Fuck your self up to no end, and worry about regretting it the morning after, only to repeat it again as if you’ve learned nothing. That’s what I pay for anyway.

“Here right, we were all getting well tuned in at our tents and, fucking, some lad comes over selling bags and we were all well fucked basically, bought like five bags each and smashed them well quick, and then”, he bent over letting out an enormous scream of laughter, “put a whole bag in this Buxton bottle, you were well fucked! Fucking downed it thinking it was water it’d sober you up”. Folding over again, “Mate”, the word dragged out to his amusement, “you were a different breed”.

“Swear your face was folding in on itself at one point”

“Nah reckon his whole body was”

Everyone laughed and shared videos of my drug-induced state before disappearing into tales of their own intoxications, only interrupted by an occasional key up their nostril. I felt like the world was closing in on me, and the only thing stopping it was the buzz off the joint and beer I had been sipping since I woke up. I had a painful urge to shake and curl up, but that’d only make them laugh more.

After my third beer however I had become part of it too: pointing fingers, shouting obscene insults about mothers, and trying different white powders like a snob with aged wines. The festival was a birthday present, and I had spent months saving up money doing the odd shift at a takeaway for what I called ‘spending money’ to my parents. I went with the promise of good times with friends, basking in the sun, singing songs by my favourite bands and creating memories. So far we had missed all the bands of the first day because we thought it a good idea to feed ourselves horse tranquilisers before we would set our tents up. It was a weird experience in which a few people fell down the hole and the others, thankfully including me, laughed along. We recovered and sorted our tents by sundown, however, that was when my memory departed me and came back in the form of Tommy’s story today.

We used to go to concerts in massive groups. Ten to twenty of us would meet at Endford station with plastic bags of beer or water bottles filled with vodka that we blagged from corner shops or robbed from our parents. We’d sit on the train, the pastoral view from the window blurring into city skylines, chatting rubbish and laughing along. Little relationships would blossom; the lads would chant their songs and the girls would collaborate in adding glitter to their intricate make up. We’d arrive in town to touch down in McDonalds, to the disappointment of all the workers, and occupy a corner, blasting music and mixing spirits into our cups. These memories are what live with me as I sit in the circle looking at the bags under everyone’s eyes, in clubs having heart to hearts about our depressive minds, or sat in my lecture hall alone in a daze.

Hours passed drinking beer in the occasional sun, as the rays would pierce through the fluffy clouds that dominated the sky above us. Before long we’d all set off down the muddied hill and into the current of people heading towards the main arena. Getting checked by security was a breeze and we proceeded en masse to the main stage, ecstatic for some music and feeding off each other’s company. We wriggled our way into the crowd and stood proudly near the front, anticipating four men to come up on stage.

They did, the crowd roared, the brewing energy finally erupted as a circle violently opened in the mass of people. The drums counted ‘one, two, three, four’ and the guitars struck, bodies collided and drinks flew through the air. We bounced and sang in unison, arms around each other’s shoulders and grins on our faces. The sun had left us, but we had no care, our middle fingers were firmly up to yesterday and definitely to tomorrow, all that mattered was right now and the people surrounding us. No grades, no debts, no depression - just the music, us and our love for one another.

The hours flew by; the sky grew darker as the stage lights grew brighter. By the time the last guitar note was played, and the drumsticks flew into the air, our faces were as red as our hair wet. All the ecstasy we shared slowly dissipated like our boots into the mud, and before I could pause to reflect, we were back in the circle outside our tents.

The tempo changed, it became faster and faster. Crowds of people would walk by in baggy shirts and with muddy legs, shouting “aye aye” or staring at us like we’re drugged up deadbeats. Pills, spirits and lines were our new intake instead of spliffs, beers and keys. Ready to set back out into the night when the clock strikes 1. Eyes widened and jaws became tighter, there was a rigidity in everyone’s composure unlike before, as the newbies came up for the first time with no fear of coming down, and the veterans came up as their only escape from their usual dark place. You could tell how fucked up each person was judging by how off their face they seemed. I mean, I swear there’s no correlation between the amount you do and how mangled you get, but instead how much light is shown upon your darkness inside. Last night, even if I didn’t down that water bottle unknowingly, despite part of me thinking I knew all along, I’d have woken up feeling the same. We’re all in the same boat, each day punching a hole in the floor, sinking further into the abyss; we’ll never talk about it sober, we’ll never fix our problems in any other way, it’s all we know.

The time came for us to venture back into the woods, my vision was vibrating violently and every breath I took could put an orgasm to shame. My body tingled through every movement I made, and I could only move to whatever sounds stimulated my ears, the speakers wobbled out these perplexing bass lines that confused my senses and sent me further into my own mind. The lights were swirling in circles behind my eyelids; I became locked within the self that I had thought I had finally escaped.  Instead I was left alone, facing myself, all the contortions of feeling and sensation rendered my body numb. My environment affected me but I did not affect it, I was trapped facing myself and the only feasible solution I perceived was to place another pill into my mouth to remove him from me.

Only a little longer before it kicks in, only a little longer and … Le fin. The bodily sensations intensified and the internal light show grew brighter and brighter until eventually turning to black. I mumbled the words and crawled towards the sun, reached out, into the cardboard crate, pulled out the can and unzipped the door. The circle remained unbroken, the sun resisted the ever increasing clouds which encroached the baby blue sky, and I was back to square one – the only thing resisting the weight on my shoulders was the numbness that the smoke I had exhaled afforded.