#anyway yeah I love this idiot goodnight

[shiniganja]

Kinda late due to work/stress not letting me come on much but

Happy (belated) anniversary, Derek. 💖💝💞 You mean the world to me. I love us and our dumb little family 🦂🐉🐈‍⬛

[earthyorangeaid]

You know what feeling the Red White and Royal Blue movie is helping me finally put into words?? The joy that comes from ACTUALLY getting to relive a piece of work I love.

By that I don’t mean that it’s exactly the same. It’s actually quite different on many levels. But that’s something that I actually LOVE about it. It’s given me a chance to be surprised by and relive the feeling the book gave me in a new and completely wonderful way. There is no one true perfect, right way to tell any one story, and they did a great job of telling this one in a new and just as enjoyable way.

Love you entire crew and staff and cast and directors and writers of RWRB movie, you’ve captured my heart again.

[silverselfshippingchaos]

ash stop being down bad for one goddamn second challenge

[miniimight]

DISAPPEARING ACT . rindou often disappears for weeks at a time, showing up at home as if it's nothing. a brief exchange triggers a factory reset in him, but you're not as open to it as he expected you to be...

prompt used "better than me disappearing for good. / is it?"

with married!rindou + fem!reader

warnings cursing. a lot of cursing. angst? rindou is an idiot and possessive.

part two

you never got to see your husband anymore. so much so that you considered the chance of it happening next to nothing. you knew what you were getting into being in an relationships with him; lots of meetings and flights to other cities all meant extended time away from home.

you would've been a little more forgiving had he chosen to tell you these things. but no. morning after morning, you wake up to him gone without a trace, without consideration for how you feel. was he alive? was he with someone else? did he not care enough to call or even send a text?

it was as if you lived alone, and a stranger crashed at your place every once in a while. and while you shared polite exchanges, no amount of small talk could overshadow how bleak your marriage was.

it was eleven days before he showed up again. you were, surprisingly, awake when he returned. he was perfectly groomed, albeit a little jaded, but still regarded you with the same coldness you endured since he started leaving. you missed the warmth of your younger days, where he would hold you close and reassure you that you were meant for each other for life.

you decided today was as good a day as any. heck, he even might be gone tomorrow and it would be like you didn't say anything.

"i'm tired of you disappearing for days and then coming back like it was nothing." you said plainly.

he slipped out of his shoes, looking down at you. rolling his eyes lightly but sighing heavily, he started to pull off his tie. "better than me disappearing for good."

a wry smile spread on your face. oh, if he only knew. "is it?"

those two words sent an arrow straight through his heart.

rindou was silent, pretending as if he didn't hear what you just said. but when you scoffed and walked away, he knew it was too real for him to overlook.

"you don't mean that." it was less of a question and more of a please, don't mean it.

you shrugged and went back to your phone, too benumbed to even look at him.

he stared at you, utterly confused as to how to tackle this. "y/n." he said firmly.

you slowly raised your head to meet his eyes, void of any care. "what?"

"i said, you don't mean that." he stood like a tree in the middle of the living area, palms growing sweaty. he loved you. he couldn't lose you, not when you both went through so much to get here.

"don't i?" you responded, placing your phone beside you. not like i see you anymore, anyway. what's the difference?

"stop fucking talking like that and answer me." he snarled. you rolled your eyes, rising to your feet.

"look, rin. who the fuck cares what i think or say? certainly not you." you sighed, pinching the bridge of your nose. "just—just forget i said anything." you turned towards your bedroom. "goodnight."

wait. he lunged forward, grabbing your arm and spinning you around to face him, backing you against a wall. caging you with arms on either side of you, he stared into your soul, hoping to get some sort of reaction out of you.

you just stared back.

his heart clenched. yeah, he was away for weeks at a time. of course he didn't tell you. why would he? why would he burden you with that information?

"you really think me going away forever is better?" his voice was a whisper, but held the sharpness of a knife. "huh? you want me gone forever?"

you sighed. "i didn't say i wanted that. i just meant that, either way, it doesn't matter. going away forever, going away for weeks and weeks but only staying for a night..." your eyes met his, glossy but fierce. "it's the same to me. i don't care what the hell you do anymore, rindou. just let me go to bed."

he studied the person he truly loved for so long, wondering when it all went downhill.

you were impatient, ducking under his arms. "shit..." you cursed, rubbing the back of your neck as you walked away.

he watched you go. and he never saw you come back.

the next morning he woke up, expecting to see you in the kitchen or watching tv, but his house was empty.

"y/n?" he called out. no answer. he pulled up his phone. no texts, no calls. he bustled around the house, looking for some indication of where you went and he found nothing.

he called his brother, thinking that he was the next best person you would've gone to, but ran had no contact from you.

rindou sat on the couch, nothing to do but sit and wait. he looked around. everything was well-kept, pristine, and sanitized. it was like no one lived here at all. no one except a lonely spouse in an eternal cycle of wait for a husband that wouldn't even give them the time of day to say, i'm heading out.

i love you.

goodbye.

he leaned back, closing his eyes. he doesn't even say goodbye.

he hated himself for it.

hours passed and he didn't move from the couch. he knew you sat there for much longer, day after day, waiting for him. no wonder you were uncaring. coming home meant nothing if he would simply leave again.

then he heard the click of the door. he practically jumped off the couch, racing over to the entrance. he saw you with a couple groceries hooked on your forearms, struggling to keep the door open long enough for you to slip inside.

he rushed over. yanking the door open with such force, it slammed into the wall causing you to jump. rindou winced a little, steadying the door from swinging wildly.

you eyes met his and your face immediately scrunched with confusion. "what are you doing here?"

"well... it's my house..?" he said dumbly.

you pressed your lips into a line. "hm."

you expected me to be gone again, he thought bitterly. he cleared his throat. "let me help you with these," he alleviated the weight off your arms, bunching up a couple bags and carrying them all in one go. "you know, you could just order them for delivery."

you sidestepped him and walked to the kitchen. "why would i do that?"

"so you can have them brought to you from the comfort of your home." he responded lightly. following robotically, he was unsure where everything was supposed to be put away.

you laughed, catching him off-guard. on closer inspection, though, he knew that wasn't a genuine laugh. "rindou, do you think i want to stay in this place any more than i have to?"

you said it so casually, grabbing a bag from him and stocking the cabinets and fridges.

his stomach swirled with much more unease than he'd ever experienced on the job. it was the way you simply didn't care anymore, talking about the rift between you and him as if you were reciting the weather report.

fight me, he wanted to say. kick, yell at me, scream at me, do anything at all to show me you're upset. he knows he fucked up. you definitely know he fucked up. so why weren't you telling him that? why weren't you cursing him out for being a bad husband? your nonchalance came from a long time being cast aside, so much so that you expected it to happen; so much so that you gave up on him.

indifference was the final nail in the coffin of your marriage, and you were about to bang it shut.

he observed you, thinking about how many times you'd busy yourself with mundane errands to feel like you were living. how many times you'd come back to this flat, putting away shit you'd probably never touch. how many times you'd listen to the silence ringing off the walls.

he set the bags down and held your shoulders, turning you to face him. "i've taken the next few days off."

you smiled insincerely. "great."

rindou felt like a kid again, when he had work up enough courage to ask you out. "we... we could spend them together."

your eyes squinted. "why?"

he spluttered. "what do you mean, why?"

you swatted his hands off your shoulders. "god, i shouldn't have said anything," you mumbled. "rindou, this is just you feeling guilty because of what i said last night, okay?"

he frowned. "it's not."

your eyebrows raised as you rummaged through another grocery bag. "it is. don't pretend like you're gonna change. what did you think we were going to do—go out together? like old times, when we were happy and in love?"

his face burned. anyone else—if it were anyone else speaking so flippantly with him, he'd have them beat til they're unconscious. and past tense? when we were in love? his brain was doing backflips trying to find a way to salvage the situation. "yes."

you laughed that fake laugh again. it grated on his ears. "that's funny. i was just feeling a little vulnerable last night, is all. had a couple of drinks and maybe was feeling sentimental about the days when everything was simple."

rindou stepped closer to you, ripping the bag away from your hands and towering over you. "it is simple. we can—"

"we can't do anything." you curled your hands into fists, your voice trembling. "can you just..?" go away?

rindou's breath caught in his chest, fully anticipating another heartless laugh.

he hated it when you cried. he hated it when you were angry. he would do anything for your eternal happiness, he realized, and he'd been falling short of his promises for far too long.

rindou leaned onto the counter, bending at the waist. his hand rested on your waist and his eyes were laser focused on your expression, a confusing mix of frustration, sadness, and the will to remain emotionless.

"baby," he whispered.

"don't fucking call me baby." you hissed.

he pursed his lips, unwilling to compromise. "pretty baby. i don't wanna go on like this." his fingers brushed your cheek. "i don't want to you to be sad anymore."

"well, isn't that righteous." you rolled your eyes though your heart ached. it ached for him, for the boyfriend he was and the husband he promised to be.

he glared at you. "would you just listen?"

"no, rindou." you shoved him away from you, despite the overwhelming urge telling you to pull him in and hug him tight. "stop acting like i'm the one making things difficult. like you're being a fucking saint trying to bring us back together when the only reason we're like this is because of you." your voice became watery, growing in volume as you finally succumbed to all the hurt and pain inside you.

"i tried to be understanding." you sobbed. "i did. i tried. you have your work and i know that it's dangerous. but seriously—you promised you'd make time for me. you promised." you sniffed, rubbing tears off your cheeks, ranting without any goal in mind. "you don't even say goodbye."

he stood frozen, your emotions hitting him square in the face and leaving him dazed. it was like the only thing he could do was stand and watch.

"i didn't want to do this." you said tearfully. "i'm sorry i said anything, okay? i'm sorry. just—leave me alone."

his eyes narrowed. "never. i'm never leaving."

your glassy eyes shot up to meet his with a hard look of their own.

"i love you, y/n. and i'm never letting you go." he said firmly, stepping closer and closer to you. he was done beating around the bush; you should know that no matter how many times you push him away, he will never leave you. he'd make up for his mistakes; all you had to do was give him a chance.

you scoffed. "love? you love me?"

he caged you against the opposite counter with two arms on either side of you. "yeah. i do."

you stared up at him, tears staining your cheeks. "you're a liar."

"y/n." he growled—a warning.

"can't go back into the world having the poor little wife weighing on your conscious, is that it?" you snapped. "never stopped you before."

"y/n."

"no." you ducked under his arm, leaving the kitchen. you evaded his attempts to pull you back, running to the closet. grabbing a coat and your purse, you slipped on your shoes.

"where the fuck are you going?" rindou yelled after you. "this conversation isn't over."

"it is for me." you mumbled, throwing the front door open and ignoring the fire in the pit of your stomach. you got into your car and started it up. the garage opened at an agonizing pace, enough time for rindou to come bursting out the door. he stood at your window.

"y/n, you are not leaving. get out of the car."

"fuck off." you grit your teeth, your eyes raising to the rearview mirror to reverse. you screeched to a halt when you saw rindou's purple hair in the reflection. you gaped, rolling down your window and whipping your head to face him. "are you insane? move!"

he shook his head, standing in all his glory right behind the car. his arms were crossed and his weight rested on one hip; the picture of stubbornness. "you're gonna have to run me over."

you scoffed, laughing breathlessly at the absurd situation. "i'll call the police."

"you won't."

you grabbed your phone. "i will, don't try and stop me from leaving."

"you won't call the police, and you wanna know why?" rindou let his head fall to his shoulder. "you love me. i know you do."

you opened your mouth to retort.

"don't even try to deny it." he chuckled lowly. "you're just protecting yourself, baby. you're protecting yourself from the nightmare you call a husband, right?"

your eyes rounded, looking at him with an unreadable expression.

he walked to your side of the car, reaching through the opening to flick the window button. he slipped his hand out as it began to slowly slide back up.

"leave, then. just know i'm not going to stop my efforts to get you back." he smiled as he went back into the house.

the window closed completely.

you were brimming with annoyance, yet you couldn't help but feel a pang of heartache when you pulled out of the driveway, leaving your house—and rindou—behind.

this was so self-indulgent lol. i know they mean well, but when people apologize so quickly and with such intensity, i just get frustrated that i had to get to such a low point to see any remorse or change from them. and of course, i can't argue without crying my eyes out. anyway, do we want a part two?

© miniimight ! thanks for reading <3

[haechoxo]

[1:27 am]

haechan was a coward.

is a coward.

do cowards show up at their best friend slash situationship slash love of their life’s apartment at ungodly hours of the night?

probably not. but what was he meant to do? shut you out? again?

the incessant knocking at your door had you grumbling as you made your way over, ready to chew out whoever was interrupting your well needed ‘me time’ (read: doomscrolling)

though, upon swinging your front door open, you’re met with his face, a mix of desperation and exhaustion written all over it.

“h-haechan? what– it’s almost two in the morning!? are you–”

he didn’t give you a chance to say anything else. “i’m sorry. i’m so, so sorry,” he blurted out, his words tumbling over each other. “i’ve been a complete idiot, a-and i’ve been driving myself crazy thinking about everything i’ve done. i can’t sleep, i can’t eat, i can’t do anything without thinking about how much i hurt you, i can’t even begin to imagine how i made you feel.”

“i– i was scared? it sounds so stupid, i was so scared of admitting how i felt, scared of changing things between us, of ruining what we had, but i ended up destroying it anyway. i was jealous, insecure, and i took it out on you. i pushed you away when all you did was care about me.”

“i thought– maybe… that being friends with benefits was all i could ever be good at. i thought it was the only way i could be with you without screwing everything up, i was afraid that if we tried to be more, i’d just end up being a horrible boyfriend and ruin everything.”

“but i was wrong. i’ve been so wrong.”

you stood there, frozen, as he continued, the words tumbling out in a rush. “i was afraid i’d hurt you more than i’d make you happy, but i did that anyway…”

he lets out a weak sob, you hadn’t noticed he started crying. when did he start crying? “god, mark was right. i hurt you, and i hurt myself, i was competing with mark, or with myself? i don’t even know anymore. for no reason, and i hurt you. i did it all wrong and i was so scared so i avoided it, avoided you, altogether. and then i got insecure—of mark, of everyone. and it was stupid because there was nothing to be jealous of. it took so much for me to realize how much i was messing up—everyone yelling at me, seeing you with yeonjun, a stupidly embarrassing phone call with minjeong, mark again, seeing you after everything. all of it.”

“i’m not asking for forgiveness, y-you don’t need to… you shouldn’t. but i am so, so sorry.” he was heaving by now, waiting for you to say something, anything, as you were stunned silent.

“i… uh– i understand if you– if this is it, the least i could do is give you closure, if that’s what you want-”

“no!” your sudden volume caught him by surprise, “i-i mean… i appreciate… your apology, thank you.” he visibly lets out a sigh of relief.

“would you– uhm… can i call you? tomorrow?”

his eyes widen, “y-yes! uh–yeah… totally,” clearing his throat awkwardly to hide his eagerness, “tomorrow is fine, yeah.”

mouthing an ‘okay’ before slowly closing the door, “goodnight, haechan.”

“g-goodnight.”

the door closes, and you both lean against it, releasing a breath you had no idea you were even holding in.

previous - bonus

a/n ; it is with great sadness that i have to say there is about two chapters left of urs……………….

[a-killer-obsession]

Bad Trip [Heat x Reader]

Heat looks after you through a bad drug trip.

CW: afab reader, she/her reader pronouns, smut, recreational drug use, kid is there but no actual pov of the sex with him, hurt/comfort, mutual pining, just two idiots in love, sex under influence of drugs, dubious consent, bad drug trip/overdose, puking, p in v sex, cockwarming

WC: 4.5k

Masterlist || A03

Blunt rotations on the Victoria Punk were a common occurrence, especially with the resident weed expert, Heat, on board growing the best strains he could breed. You, however, didn't usually partake. It wasn't that you weren't all for getting high, it was just that you couldn't. Usually weed was consumed on board in the form of joints, or sometimes a bong, but you had an awful tolerance for smoke and constantly gagged on it. Sometimes you managed a second hand high from the other's hot boxing a room, but usually the smoke was too much and you'd have to ditch. It sucked, you wanted to get high with your friends, they always seemed like they had so much fun, but you'd never managed to get properly stoned with the crew. You always ended up alone in your bunk, listening to everyone else laughing and having fun while you sulked in your soberness.

Heat had noticed your struggles, and he felt terrible about it. He watched you more often than he would like to admit, with his secret crush on you that he didn't have the guts to admit to, and seeing the sad pout on your face right before you'd force a smile and bid everyone goodnight always broke his heart to see. He didn't mean to leave you out, he just didn't have a good way to help you feel included. So he searched for one, finally finding a book while they were docked on a particularly drug-positive island about incorporating weed into baking. He wasn't very good in the kitchen, but with Killer's help he'd managed to make a half decent batch of brownies that he hoped would be suitable for you. Killer knew about Heat's crush, and he was happy to help the lovesick fool if it meant Heat would get a bonus point from you.

Heat was in high hopes as he waited for you to arrive. It was a quieter planned session, mostly just the commanders and you; he didn't want the whole crew getting into the brownies and wasting them before you could get a chance to try them. The boys were already playing cards as you entered, and notably there was no smoke in the air, though the men seemed to be in good moods anyway. You were more than familiar with how Kid looked when he was high, he always had the goofiest smile, and he was flashing that toothy grin at you now as you entered. Heat pat the seat next to him and you sat with a raised brow, confused mostly about Kid's apparently stoned state without a joint in his hand.

“No blunts tonight?” You asked Heat. The plate of brownies he'd lovingly made for you sat on the coffee table, and he slid them closer to you. He'd made enough for everyone in the room, wanting to entirely avoid smoke to make you as comfortable as possible. Kid was hard to convince at first, but after a few brownies he was more than happy to do without the smoke.

“I made brownies,” he smiled, making your heart flutter a little with his cute little grin, “I know you can't do smoke, so I thought you might enjoy these instead.”

“Oh,” you picked up a brownie, giving it a tentative sniff, “and they have weed in them?”

“Yeah, I don't know what your tolerance is like but one will probably be enough,” he said, swatting Kid's hand as the captain reached for another brownie, “you don't have to if you don't want to, it just seemed like you'd been feeling left out when the rest of us were getting stoned.”

Heat made a surprised squeak as you leaned over and kissed his cheek in thanks, before gleefully taking a bite. The brownie was dense, with a slight bitterness to it, but the sweetness of the chocolate mostly masked the taste of the marijuana. Heat's dick twitched a little as you made a soft moan at the brownie, swallowing your bite before taking another and giving Heat an appreciative smile. Killer gave Heat a subtle thumbs up from across the table and the small gathering continued on, the boys finishing their round of cards before dealing you into the next one.

By the third round you were beginning to feel the effects. Your head felt light, your body felt sensitive and yet at the same time slightly numb. You were acutely aware of Heat's thigh pressed against yours, and even through his pants you could feel how hot his skin was. You wanted to feel more of his hot skin, images swimming in your mind of what it would feel like under your hands, against your tongue, between your legs…

The boys stopped dealing you into the rounds when you got too giggly to pay attention, your head lolling loose on your shoulders. Entirely relaxed you found yourself draped against Heat, using him to keep yourself upright. Most surprisingly though was the throb of need you were beginning to feel between your legs. The higher you got, the more you wanted to climb into Heat's lap and sink your teeth into his shoulder. Your body felt like it was moving on its own, your hand running up Heat's thigh and making him shiver as it slid towards the innerside. Heat's eyes went wide as he felt your breath against his neck, your tits pushed against his arm as he struggled to pay attention to the card game. Your leg slid over his, and before he could register what was happening you were in his lap, grinding needily against him and kissing his neck.

“Pay attention to meeee,” you whined when Heat didn't immediately touch you back, pulling on the strings of his corset top. You could feel his growing erection, which only made you wetter, but he wasn't reciprocating. You didn't understand, you thought for sure that Heat liked you, you certainly liked him.

The card game had all but stopped as the others watched you grind against Heat, Kid snorting at the open fear on Heat's face. “Fuck, if I'd known she'd get horny when she's high I would have suggested edibles ages ago,” Kid barked, “look at her go, feral little bunny.”

“Mmm, Heat, want you,” you purred in his ear. You couldn't care less about the other three men in the room as you ran your hand down his front with the intention of getting your hand on his dick. You whined as he grabbed your wrist just as your fingers were weaving under the waistband. “I didn't take you for shy, Heat. Come on baby, let me have it.”

“No, [y/n],” he replied sternly, not letting go of your wrist as you tried to wiggle from his hold. You pouted at him, before a flash of rejection washed over your face.

“Do you… not want me?” You said sadly. You went all but limp for a moment before dragging yourself upright, angry and hurt at his unexpected rejection.

“No, [y/n], it's not like that,” Heat tried to touch your waist to pull you back to him, but the damage was already done. You smacked his hand away, entirely seperating yourself from him.

“I get it, whatever,” you huffed, “I'll find someone who actually wants me.”

Now it was Heat's turn to feel hurt as he watched you strutt over to Kid and slide into his lap, Kid more than willing to have you there as you kissed him hard, pushing your hands between his vest and skin to properly feel his large pecs. Kid was quick to get hard as you ground against him, weed always tended to make him horny, and the way you moaned into his mouth as you desperately ground against him was making him insane. “Will you fuck me, captain?” You purred in his ear, nipping the lobe before running your tongue up the scarred side of his face. “I want your fat cock inside me, wanna squirt on it,” you whined, making him groan as you sunk your teeth into his neck before soothing the bite with your tongue and repeating the motion.

Heat was ready to cry as Kid picked you up easily and carried you out of the room. He was more than happy to fuck in front of the others, but he was feeling selfish, he wanted you all to himself. You continued to chew on his neck and shoulder, leaving marks that were quickly turning purple against his pale skin, as he carried you away. Heat sat shell-shocked on the couch, his cards falling from his hand uselessly as he struggled to process what just happened.

“Heat?! What the fuck?!” Killer growled, snapping him back to reality, “she was all over you and you told her no? What happened to wanting her? What the fuck did we make those brownies for?”

Heat slumped down in defeat, running his palms down his face and sighing at his continued failure to ever woo a woman. “I just… wanted to know she actually wanted me too,” he replied forlornly. “I was worried she only wanted me cos she's high.”

“Oh Heat,” Wire sighed, “you fucking idiot, of course she likes you. You should have just told her that's how you felt.”

The sound of your moans echoing through the floor from upstairs caught the attention of the three men, and Heat felt his heart fall apart. “It's too late now,” he let his head fall into his hands, trying to hide the way his eyes watered, “I already fucked it up, it's too late. I can't listen to this.”

Wire and Killer watched with concern as the fire breather wiped his eyes with the palm of his hand and fled the room, slamming the door behind him. Heat ran to his room, blasting music to drown out the creaking bed above him and hiding himself under his blankets, quietly crying to himself at his failures.

Upstairs things were fine until they weren't. Kid had rocked your world, as was to be expected, but as you both came down from your highs he decided he wasn't done yet. He ran downstairs and grabbed the now abandoned tray of brownies, and together you ate far, far too many. Kid had a high tolerance, he could handle several, but you couldn't. Unfortunately, you ate just as many as he did, and while he was happy to fall asleep, you found yourself laying on your back in a panic, feeling like you couldn't breathe. You didn't know what to do, and no matter what you did you couldn't wake Kid, he was far too out of it. You felt alone and scared, and undoubtedly full of regret for so many reasons.

On the verge of tears, and on the very edge of a full blown panic attack, you slipped out of the bed. The room spun around you, and you couldn't even get your clothes back on with how dizzy you were. All you could focus on was pressing your body weight against the wall to slide along it, gagging as you struggled to not vomit. You couldn't hope to make it back to your own room, but you hoped you could at least make it to Killer or Wire downstairs, desperately needing to not be alone. You felt like if nobody was keeping an eye on you that you would just stop breathing and nobody would ever know.

You made a pathetic sob as you reached the top of the stairs, barely able to stay upright as it was, trying to figure out how the fuck you were going to make it down. You slid down on to your ass, trying to guide yourself down each stair one by one, finding yourself unable to continue as you got half way and the tears finally started flowing. You didn't register the opening of a door downstairs as you cried, or the tall body at the foot of the stairs, not realising they were there at all until you heard them speak.

“[Y/n]? What's wrong?” Heat asked softly. He'd switched off his music long ago but had been unable to sleep thanks to the depressive spiral he found himself in. He'd heard the thumps you made as you eased yourself down the stairs, and was concerned about what was causing such a sound this late at night, only to find, to his dismay, your naked self crying on the staircase.

“I- mm-” you couldn't vocalise what you needed, which only made you more upset, making grabby hands at Heat in the desperate hope that he would understand that you needed help. Heat was the last person you wanted to see right now after his earlier rejection, but at the same time, in your vulnerable state, he was the only person you wanted to see.

Heat had seen more than his fair share of bad reactions and overdoses, and he recognised the signs on you. The way you couldn't form words, couldn't move your body the way you wanted, your eyes barely even open at all. He was at your side immediately, scooping you into his arms carefully knowing that each small movement would make your head spin more. He held your head against his chest to stabilise it as he made his way down the stairs, taking you to his room and sitting you carefully on his bed. He pushed pillows and blankets against your sides to prop you up and covered you in his blanket before disappearing for a moment, returning with a bucket and a glass of water.

“It's okay, I've got you, you're safe,” he cooed, pressing himself against your side and resting his head against yours, holding the bucket in your lap since you were too out of it to do so yourself. “Just focus on breathing, I've got you.”

You did your best to do as he said, letting his warm body soothe and ground you as you focused on the way his chest rose and fell, trying to follow along. A wave of nausea washed over you and suddenly you were vomiting, deep brown undigested brownie filling the bucket as Heat carefully held back your hair. “Good girl, get it all out,” he soothed, rubbing your back as the wave passed and you gasped for air. You'd thrown up a considerable amount, so Heat felt confident that there was nothing left to come up and he could move along to the next step in helping you. He removed the bucket and placed it carefully on his floor to deal with later, grabbing instead the glass of water and guiding you to take a few sips to rinse your mouth.

Your mouth was so very dry, you hadn't realised how bad it was until you were drinking, and you made thankful whines as he held the glass for you. He returned the glass to his side table and helped you lay down, and you pressed your face against his thigh, holding his leg like a stuffed animal, finding his warmth to be the most calming thing in your situation. Heat ran his hands through your hair slowly, careful to not jostle you, as he began to sing a quiet lullaby in his deep, scratchy voice. As one song ended, another began, his quiet singing on a continuous loop helping you find a tempo for your breathing to follow as well as giving you a keyframe for how fast time was passing. You'd felt like you were trapped in an eternal length of suffering, but with the start of each song you realised that time was actually passing much slower than you thought, and this wouldn't last forever like it felt like.

It only took a few hours for the fog in your head to pass and your mind to take control again of your body, Heat not once leaving your side the whole time, only singing softly and stroking your hair gently. First your breathing settled, no longer scared you would simply stop breathing

Then you began to feel less and less like the room was spinning, still light headed but no longer feeling like you would puke or pass out at any small movement. You crawled a little further up, moving your head from the pillow where it'd been pressed against Heat, to entirely resting it in his lap, your arms circling around his waist to hold him close. “Sorry,” you finally managed to verbalise, bringing Heat's quiet singing to a halt.

“There's nothing to apologise for,” he said softly, still petting your hair, “you starting to feel more with it now?”

“Mmm,” you mumbled, “I didn't like that.”

“I thought I made the brownies a okay dose for you, but maybe I got it wrong,” he sighed, “I think this must be my fault.”

“It's not,” you said quickly, “Kid and I ate more. I don't know how many, I think I was too high to keep count.”

“Oh sweetheart, no wonder you weren't doing well,” Heat cooed, “I promise I won't let this happen again, I should have known better than to leave the leftovers unsupervised. It'll pass completely soon, you just gotta wait it out. You're doing so well.”

“Thank you for looking after me,” you squished your face into his abdomen, feeling a little like you were about to burst into tears. “I know you don't like me, but I appreciate you holding me anyway.”

Heat sighed and his hand on your hair stopped moving. “I… do like you,” he said forlornly. You sat up at his admission, confused and surprised, groaning a little as the room spun a bit at the sudden movement. “Ah, don't move so fast,” he told you, holding your face to keep you steady. You couldn't help but whine feeling his warm hands cupping your face, holding you so safe and secure. You were suddenly very aware of the fact that you were also naked, and in his bed, and your mouth was suddenly exceptionally dry. You took his hand and carefully removed it from your face, unable to bring yourself to let go of it as it rested against his thigh.

“If you like me then… why didn't you want me?” You whimpered.

“I… I wanted to know you wanted me too,” he admitted, “I was worried it was just the weed talking.”

“Oh,” you said softly, before letting yourself fall against his chest. He cradled you to it as your arms wrapped back around him, his hand rubbing soothingly up and down your back as you pressed your face against his pyjama shirt like you were trying to will the fabric to disappear so you could merge yourself with him. “It's not just the weed, but I understand your reservations,” you mumbled against his chest. “I'm sorry for overreacting. And for fucking Kid. I'm sorry, I'm really fucking sorry Heat, I think I really fucked up.” His shirt was getting wet as the guilt of how much you must have hurt him started to make your tears pour over.

“Hey now, no tears,” he sniffed, “you'll make me cry too.”

“Softie,” you giggled, sitting back up and looking at him properly with watery eyes. He had a small smile on his face, his own eyes looking glassy as well. The haze from the weed felt like it was for the most part clearing, so you felt like you were in your right mind enough to make better choices. Before he could protest you leaned forward and pressed your mouth against his in a tender kiss, and he made a small whine before reciprocating, his hand burying in your hair as you moved closer to him. You climbed into his lap, a familiar feeling to earlier in the evening, before you'd fucked everything up, but now in the place of wanton need was only soft adoration and a desire to just feel his warm body against yours. You couldn't help the spark of arousal you felt kissing him though, still a little under the influence of the brownies and feeling that spark grow with every small movement from his lips. You pulled away with a groan, hiding your face in his shoulder, ashamed to be right back where you started.

“You okay?” Heat asked anxiously, worried he'd done something wrong.

“Sorry,” you mumbled against his shoulder, balling the fabric of his shirt in your hands as you struggled to hold yourself back from grinding against him, “horny,” you whined.

“Weed does that to some people,” Heat explained, “it's nothing to be ashamed of.”

“But I fucked everthing up earlier when I was like this,” you sighed, “I don't wanna fuck it all up again. I really like you, Heat. I don't wanna force you to do something you don't want to do. I should have just accepted your ‘no’ earlier, that was unfair of me.”

“I only said no because I wasn't sure you really wanted me, or if it was just the weed making you like that,” Heat reiterated, “if you… if you want it then… you can have it. I won't deny you this time.”

All you could do was whine in response, feeling unbearably needy, the throbbing between your legs quickly becoming the only thing you could focus on. You may not have been as high as you were earlier, but with the arousal making things hazier you may as well have been still off your rocker. Heat could sense your struggle as you pulled at his shirt and grinded your core against him, struggling to find friction as your breath tickled his neck. Gingerly he moved you so you straddled just one of his thighs, holding your hips to help you press down. You whined as you were finally able to rub yourself against him properly, rolling your pelvis fast and leaving a wet patch on his sweatpants as you used his thigh to soothe your ache.

“There you go, [y/n],” Heat cooed, “you look so pretty like this.”

“Heeeat~” you whined, desperately rocking against him, “fuck me, please, please fuck me.” Rubbing against his thigh felt good, but it wasn't enough. You needed more, you needed all of him.

“Fuck you have no idea how much I've wanted to hear those words, beautiful girl,” Heat groaned, “lay down for me sweetheart, I'll take such good care of you.”

You laid down beside him eagerly as he tore off his shirt, and you let out a soft gasp as you took in his well sculpted torso and pierced nipples. In your drug induced haze he was truly the most beautiful thing you had ever seen, and you ran a shaky hand down his front. “So pretty,” you mumbled, “pretty pretty boy, want you so much.”

Heat flushed a heavy pink at your doting, whimpering as you played with one of his piercings. Your hand moved further and threaded under the waistband of his pants, wrapping around his cock and making sloppy pumps. “So pretty, so big,” you cooed, “want you filling me, want your big cock inside me, want you filling me with cum.”

“Fuck, [y/n],” Heat groaned, “the things you fucking do to me.”

“You'll fill me, won't you?” You looked up at him with puppy dog eyes, the whites of your eyes reddened from the weed and glassy. “I want you to fill me so bad, I touch myself thinking about you, I finger myself thinking about how your cock would feel inside me.”

“Fuck,” Heat whined, tearing off his pants and pushing his fingers into you to make sure you were stretched enough for him. Your time with Kid had left you well prepped, and he took his cock in his hand and pressed the fat head against your entrance, “I've wanted this for so long.”

“So take it,” you moaned, wrapping your legs around his waist and locking your ankles together, pressing as hard as you could, forcing him inside you. He gripped the headboard behind you and cursed, biting his lip to keep himself from immediately cumming. “Fuck me, please, fuck me hard Heat.”

Heat grunted as he gripped one hip hard, the other still holding the headboard as he loomed over you, and started a hard and fast pace that had your head spinning. It felt incredible with how sensitive your body was, you swore you could feel every millimetre of his cock as it pumped in and out of you, making obscene wet squelches as your pussy got wetter with every slide of his cock. Heat's eyes had been closed in concentration, but when he opened them and looked at you, you could see the deep adoration in his eyes, and you reached up to cup his face with both hands. He let go of the headboard to lean down and kiss you, his tongue sliding into your mouth and pressing against yours as he swallowed your moans. One of your hands remained on his cheek, thumb running over the scars, as the other slid to his back, nails digging into the taut skin and leaving indents. He pulled away from the kiss to breathe, his forehead pressed hard against yours as you both panted and shared the same air. Never had you experienced a moment so intimate, sober or not, you felt like you truly didn't know where your body ended and his began, his sweat mingling with yours and making your bodies stick together as electricity coiled in your stomach.

“You feel so good Heat,” you moaned, “I'm so close, so close.”

“Hnng, me too,” Heat grunted, “you still want me to fill you?”

“Y-yes,” you moaned, “please, cum inside me Heat, wanna feel you fill me up.”

“Okay baby, I'll fill you,” he groaned, “gonna fill you so good, gonna cum with you, cum for me baby, cum on my cock.”

“Heaaaat,” you practically screamed as your body convulsed under him, your pussy wrapping tight around him as he whined against your shoulder before capturing your lips again, moaning into your mouth as he painted your walls white. “T-thank you,” you mumbled as he collapsed on top of you, his cock still buried in your cunt.

“For what?” He panted, rolling both of you to your sides and pulling your leg over his hip so he could stay inside you without worrying about crushing you with his large frame.

“For taking care of me,” you whispered, nuzzling your face against his chest, “mmm, so warm.”

“Sleep now, sweetheart,” Heat cooed, running a hand through your hair, “it'll all be out of your system when you wake up.”

“Will you stay with me?” You asked hesitantly, like his body wasn't still connected to yours.

“Of course baby,” he kissed your forehead softly, “sleep now, I'll be right here when you wake up.”

“Mmm,” you mumbled back, enjoying the pleasant warmth that radiated off his skin and soothed your anxiety, feeling sated and safe in his strong arms.

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Taglist: @daydreamer-in-training @chairmanraph @florcxo @luvnisstuff @nocturnalrorobin

[somanyratsinthewalls]

Congrats on 300 folower 🎉🎉🎉 can I request caramel lily it's totally ok if you can't lol btw love the way you write

Thanks so much for the req! This is SO much plot with a bit of porn, I'm not sure what got into me here! Hope you enjoy!

Pairing: Sanji x Afab!Reader

WC: 2100 LOL

Prompt: “I’d eat 10 devil fruits if it meant I could see you naked.” 

— — 

It was Robin’s birthday, so you and the rest of the Straw Hats were enjoying an evening of drinking and celebrating. Empty bottles littered the dining room table and your captain was asleep and snoring on the deck, distended belly evident of his overindulgence. A few of your crew mates had returned to their quarters, the hour having grown late. You sat at the wooden table with Nami, Zoro, Franky and Robin playing cards while Sanji finished up dishes at the sink. You were all a bit tipsy, some more than others *cough* Zoro *cough* but it was clear the party was winding down. 

“I’m not tired yet. What if we made this game more interesting?” Robin made a suggestion and set her hand of cards down on the table. 

“*yawn* like a drinking game? I’m in.” Zoro takes another swig from his bottle of sake. 

“How about we put real money on the table? I know I’d kick your asses if there was actually something at stake.” Nami suggests. 

“I was actually thinking we could play strip poker.” Robin smirks as she makes the lewd proposal. 

*WOOOSH* 

In what seemed like the blink of an eye, Sanji was somehow squeezed in between Nami and Robin on the dining room bench when he was all the way across the room at the sink not a second ago. 

“What an incredible idea, Robin! And it is your birthday after all, so we should all do whatever Robin suggests!” Sanji hurriedly spits out with hearts in his eyes, seemingly out of breath from rushing over. 

“Absolutely not. If you think for a second that I’m going to-“ Nami protests. 

“Sure, I’m in.” Zoro interrupts her. 

“Yeah I’m down I guess.” You chime in, wanting to keep the party going. You had known these people for years now, they were your best friends. Everyone has a body, who cares if they see you naked? What’s the worst that could happen. 

“Aww come on, bros! That’s like super unfair! I’ll obviously lose first! This game is rigged!” Franky exclaims while gesturing to his lack of clothing. 

“Rigged against who? Perverts?” Zoro cocks his head and smirks. 

“Whatever, I’m out. I have maintenance to do on the engine anyway.” Franky excuses himself and heads down into the belly of the ship to finish his tasks. 

“Come on, Nami. We can still put real money on it. Well… most of us could, anyway…” Robin smirks as she looks at Zoro hunched over his drink at the other end of the table. “Hey! I have… some.. cash.. somewhere…” Zoro looks in his pockets and inside his sash trying to find some semblance of money. 

Nami sighed. She pulls a small stack of berries out of her pocket and puts it on the table in front of Zoro. 

“I’ll add this to your tab. I’m going to bed, goodnight guys.” She turns back to Zoro. “Don’t lose it all at once, idiot.” 

After Nami exits, the four of you that remained settled your first bets and started the first round of cards. 

Much to Sanji’s dismay, he lost the first three hands and has already removed his tie, sport coat and belt while the two beautiful women before him were still fully clothed. Zoro lost the next few, casually shedding his shirt and boots. Eventually, after many more hands of cards and many more bottles of booze, the four of you are all minimally clothed. Robin was winning, still in her bra and skirt. You were sat in your bra and panties, happy that you chose a nicer looking pair to wear today. The boys were both left in their pants. 

“Alright, guesshh I’m out…” a very drunk Zoro sighs out as he puts his losing hand down on the table. Wordlessly he stands up and pulls his pants down to his ankles. 

“OH MY GOD MY EYES-“ Sanji throws his head down on the table to shield himself from the now fully nude swordsman. “ROBIN? Y/N? AM I BLIND?” Sanji continues to scream towards the floor.

“WHY don’t you wear underwear! That’s gross! I do our laundry!” You exclaim with wide eyes. 

“Hmm.” Robin hums. “Carpet does match the drapes.” She raises an eyebrow.

“Screw you guyshhh… I.. I’m going to… to lie downshh…” Zoro stumbles fully naked out of the dining room. 

“I’m going to make sure he makes it back to his room…” Robin stands up and dresses herself. Hands sprout from the floor and gather Zoro’s shed clothing and neatly folds it into a pile. Robin grabs the pile and heads towards the door. “… and make sure he doesn’t permanently traumatize Chopper in the process.” 

The door slammed closed and you and Sanji were left alone at opposite sides of the table. 

Sanji cleared his throat. 

“Shall we play on, angel?” 

You roll your eyes. You were up tons of berries, there was no reason for you to keep playing, but something urged you to keep going. 

“Bring it on, Mr. Cook.” You give him a wink and you could swear your saw a drop of blood spill from his nose. 

Perhaps distracted by your tipsy flirting, Sanji loses the next hand and stands up from the table to remove his slacks. He returns to his seat quickly but not quick enough for the large bulge in his briefs to go unnoticed. You smirk. You spot his hands trembling as Sanji pushes his money into the center of the table for the next hand. 

“Wow, Sanji, that’s the last of your berries! What if you lose? How are you going to afford cigarettes this week? It’s worth that much to you?” You laugh and take a sip of your drink. 

“It’s not the money, angel.” Sanji looks across the table at you with sparkling eyes. “I’d pay any cost. I’d eat 10 devil fruits if it meant I could see you naked.” You couldn’t help but smile at his desperation. 

“Well…” You say teasingly. “Let’s play then.” 

Your confidence betrays you. You lose the hand. 

“Shit!” You throw your losing hand on the table. You rub your eyes with your hand, realizing that you have very little left to remove. The air in the room is different from before. Earlier it had been four crew mates laughing and goofing around, now the air was heavy with tension. It was just you and Sanji, sitting across from each other in your underwear. He was handsome and you found yourself admiring his lithe, slim body. You couldn’t help yourself from becoming aroused. 

“Well, fair is fair.” You push the money back towards Sanji and move your hand behind your back to unhook your bra. Your other arm held the cups of your bra in place over your chest as you undid the clasp. You look across the table at Sanji and his mouth was hanging open in anticipation. You aren’t sure why, but you decide to tease him a bit. You use your arm holding your breasts to push them up and together before you let them fall out of your bra, bouncing dramatically. 

“Merde, y/n…” Sanji couldn’t pry his gaze from your bare tits. 

“We still have one more round to play, don’t we?” You pick up a new hand of cards and hold it with both hands. Doing this, you push your naked breasts together with your elbows, teasing the poor cook further. 

“I… Y-yes…” Sanji grabs another hand while shaking himself out of his stupor. 

You had four of a kind, there was no way you could lose. You were going to make off with all the money and Sanji’s dignity. 

“Royal Flush.” 

“What?!” You balk at the cards Sanji had laid on the table. It was his turn to lean back in his seat and smirk. You were speechless. You stared blankly at the table for a few moments before you slide out from your seat on the bench. Sanji watched you intently. 

You turn around so that your back is towards him. You hook both of your thumbs into the sides of your light pink panties. You bent forward at the hip, poking your ass closer to Sanji’s face. You slowly, dramatically peel your panties down your bottom, revealing your supple skin inch by inch. Sanji groans as your glistening cunt is revealed to him. You straighten your back and step out of your panties. You turn around. 

“Well, Sanji. Looks like you won. I guess you could take the money…” You slink towards him and swiftly hop onto his lap, straddling his trapped erection. You place both your hands on the side of his face to make him look up at you. You gently grind your bare pussy onto his throbbing crotch. 

“Or you could have me…” You purr at him, lips almost touching. 

Sanji takes no time to weigh his options before slamming his mouth onto yours. His hands fly into your hair, trying to force your lips impossibly closer to his. His tongue forces its needy way into your mouth. You kiss wildly for several minutes before you snake your hand down Sanji’s slender torso and lift your pelvis up so you can free his aching cock from its confines in his silk briefs. You give his member a few slow strokes before Sanji whimpers into your mouth desperately. 

“Mmm… Y/n.. please…” Sanji mutters. 

You pull away and kiss down his neck. 

“Please what, Mr. Cook? I can’t quite understand…” You seductively whisper out. You lick and suck his collarbone as you continue to pump his cock. 

“Need you…” Sanji is panting like he ran a marathon, he can’t handle your teasing anymore.

“Need me what, Sanji? Come on… tell me what you need…” You bring your hand that isn’t wrapped around his member up to his chest to tweak and squeeze at his nipple. Sanji lets out a high pitched moan. 

“Need to be inside you, please angel, let me feel you…” Sanji grips your hips suddenly and firmly. He could barely form a coherent sentence. You giggled. 

“Hm…. Fair is fair…” You smiled as you lifted your pelvis and aligned Sanji’s cock up with your hole before slowly sinking down him. The stretch overwhelmed you at first as you moved your hands up to grip at his shoulders tightly. 

“Shit, angel… so tight and wet…” Sanji buries his face in your breasts as you adjust your body to his length. 

“Fuck…” You moan softly as you begin to bounce softly on Sanji’s cock. He was thicker than expected, and the anticipation had your body alight with sensation. 

“Does it feel nice, my love? Is my cock good for you? Please tell me…” Sanji breaths out as you use him for your pleasure, trying to contain his own release. 

“Mmmh…” You let out a moan as you switch from bouncing to grinding yourself onto the blonde’s slim hips. “You feel so good inside me, baby… you’re doing so good for me…” You rub your clit into the base of his shaft as Sanji hits that sweet spot inside of you. You bring your gaze to look into his eyes. Those gorgeous ice-blue eyes stared up at you with what could only be described as adoration and amazement. You saw tears well in his glazed eyes, he was clearly so lost inside the pleasure that was your warm cunt. 

“So good…” You continued to praise him. “Gonna cum…” You throw your head back and grip Sanji’s shoulders tighter. 

“Please cum on me, angel, want to feel your pussy when you cum, please…” You hear Sanji’s muttering but you were too focused on reaching your peak. 

You shriek out a loud moan as your orgasm rolls through your body. You fall forward into Sanji’s neck and stop your movements as the spasms slow down. Sanji picks up the slack and pumps his hips upwards into yours, finally able to let go. 

“Fuck, love, I’m cumming!” Sanji slams your hips down onto his and works his load deep into your cunt with a loud groan. 

After you both catch your breath from the intense love-making session you had just experienced in the dining room, you slide yourself off of Sanji’s cock and sit onto the seat next to him. You put your head on his shoulder, feeling exhausted. 

Sanji reached for his pack of cigarettes, desperately needing one after his climax. He finds the pack empty. He looks at all the money that is now rightfully yours on the table. 

“So…. I might need to borrow a little cash this week…” 

[prismuffin]

Heyo! How do you think Wally West, John Constantine, Hal Jordan, Dick Grayson and Conner Kent, react to accidentally falling asleep on their crush?

I feel like a lot of them would be a flustered mess!

Reader (He/Him)

- OwO

Ahhh I remember you, you requested that Steve Rogers fic huh? Well welcome back to my inbox- sorry it took me a minute I was out way longer than I thought I'd be! Anyways I think-

Wally would definitely be flustered when he wakes up. It'd just slowly dawn on him as you wake him up because he'd be so tired. Like he'd just stare at you with his eyes slowly widening and once he finally realizes he'd shoot so far away from you. His face would be completely red, his blush reaching his neck even and he'd just apologize while refusing to look at you. He'd decline any help on getting to his room and once he's in there he just screams into his pillow while kicking his feet. He just fell asleep on his guy crush. It's all he can think about. He definitely probably has a dream about it.

John wouldn't even be phased. Pfft, yeah he did just fall asleep on you, what are you gonna do about it? Exactly. He has a stone cold expression but fuck is he freaking out inside. He'd probably mumble something about being overworked and if you ask if he's getting enough sleep he'll almost drop his façade at the worry in your voice. He says he's fine, and begrudgingly allows you to help him to his room after you wouldn't let it go. He'd jokingly tell you to tuck him in, and you do. After you leave and he's alone he'd sigh dreamily before catching himself in such a love sick state. He'd smack both of his hands over his face, grumbling about how this random boy makes him feel like some stupid teenager in love. He'd also have dream about you and when he sees you the next morning he can't look you straight in the eye.

Hal would apologize while trying not to stutter too much. He'd feel pretty flustered about it but he wouldn't try and make it a big deal. When you ask if he's getting enough sleep he'd wave you off saying that he was fine but the way your concerned about him has his heart fluttering. He'd allow you to walk him to his room but he wouldn't let you inside, he'd tell you goodnight before he retreated to his sleeping chambers and the minute he shuts that doors his whole calm façade drops. He's cursing at himself for acting like such an idiot and falling asleep on you. It'd be on his mind all night and now he can't go back to sleep. No seriously, the embarrassment is keeping him awake god someone save him. When you see him the next morning and notice he somehow looks even more tired than the night before- you start fawning over him again and it only makes it worse.

Dick would probably be similar to Wally, in the sense that it doesn't immediately hit him. He'd be so tired that after you wake him he'd stare at you for like five seconds before cursing and mumbling an apology. He'd just slowly move off of you and would smile awkwardly while he tries to handle the situation without completely freaking out. When you ask him if he's been getting enough sleep he'll crack a joke about how he isn't and how he's very sleep deprived all the time. He does in fact let you walk him to his room but he's really flustered when you follow him inside to make sure he lays down. After you leave his heart would be pounding as he laid in his bed and similar to Hal he wouldn't be able to go back to sleep immediately. Though, over time he does get there. He to has a dream about you and it only makes him fall deeper in love.

Conner would try and play it off, key word is try here alright. His expression is stoic as he apologizes but they way he refuses to meet your eye and the way his face is practically glowing red is not helping his case. He'd be very embarrassed and would try and leave this situation as quickly as possible. When you ask if he's getting enough sleep he'll say he's fine and would excuse himself to go back to his room so he can get some sleep. But then you suggest walking him there to make sure he's alright and god damn his heart can't take the way you're worrying for him right now it's so god damn cute. Favoritism would take over and he'd allow you to walk him back to his room though he'd be hesitant on letting you inside. Once he's in bed he doesn't necessarily fall asleep easy but it's not cause he can't he just chooses not to as he replays the previous interaction over and over in his mind.

( this was unintentionally in rainbow order but I kinda love that )

———

Directory

[shiftingparadise]

I LOVE the way u write for Feitan soooooo much!!! Would u ever consider writing something separate to soft spot for him?? I feel like you could write the sweetest (dirtiest) short stories for him.. or even some headcanons? ♡ I love all of ur writing!! Good job dude ♡♡♡

Thank you for your kind words. I'm really glad you like my fics with Fei 🥺. I hope you like this one as well. I'm planning on writing more fics with him after I'm caught up with all the requests 🤍✨.

I'm currently working on a Draken fic and a second part of the 'let's be friends' fic with Killua. I'm writing very slowly because I'm working until the summer and I don't have a lot of free time. I'm sorry guys :(

WARNINGS: smut

Word count: 1995

“Fuck, that auction was more work than expected”, Phinks rubbed the space between his brows, “Can’t wait to get a drink. What about you, Fei?”. “I don’t drink”, Feitan coldly replied. “Come on, little Fei”, Phinks smirked, “One drink”. “No”. “Hm”, a quiet chuckle left Chrollo’s throat. “Always so uptight”. “See? Even boss thinks so”, Phinks eagerly waved his hand in the air. “Tsk, are they blind here? I want to order something”. 

“Sorry sir”, you humbly bowed your head, “I’m afraid it’s a busy night. What can I get you guys?”. 

Your voice… So soft, so innocent… 

“Whiskey sour”, the blonde replied. “Scotch”, the other replied. “What about you?”, you kindly smiled at the dark-haired figure. 

“Water”. 

“Ignore that. He’ll have the same as me”, the blonde replied. “Water it is”, you playfully smiled before turning around. 

“What a pretty little thing”, Phinks’ eyes glided down your back as you walked towards the bar. “Should we take her?”, Chrollo’s eyes lit up. “I’m sure she’d make a cute toy”. 

Normally,Feitan would happily agree. He’d always liked the sound of cute little whimpers, but not today. He didn’t want you to be scared.

“What do you think, Fei?”. “I don’t think she’s pretty enough”. “What?!”, the blonde raised his voice. “She’s one of the prettiest girls we’ve ever met, right boss?”. “She’s got my attention, to say the least”, Chrollo studied your movements. “We’ll take her after her shift’s over”. 

No. He didn’t want them to take you. 

“Shouldn’t we focus on the mission?”. “What’s wrong, little Fei?”. “He doesn’t want to share”, Chrollo smirked. “Tsk, too bad. I want her”, the blonde turned his head to catch you leaning over the bar. You were obviously trying to grab something but failed to do so. “Imagine standing behind that perfect ass”. “Imagine waking up with your guts hanging out your stomach”, Feitan’s eyes lit up. “No fighting”, Chrollo sternly replied. “Let’s forget about her. Feitan’s right, let’s talk business”. “Nice, little Fei. You ruined the evening for everyone”. 

“Ruined?”, you smiled as you placed down the drinks. It was obvious they didn’t notice you at first. “He sure made mine”. “Huh?”, Feitan tilted his head to look at you. “Such a pretty face”, you placed his water in front of him, “It’s not often someone as handsome walks in this bar”. 

“Thanks”, a short reply. “Auch”, you softly giggled, “Anyway, enjoy your evening boys”. 

“What the hell, Fei?!”, Phinks gritted his teeth as you once again walked away. “She flirted with you, and you replied with ‘thanks’?”. “Tsk, what the hell was I supposed to say?”. “Want to play some pool?”, Chrollo hastily intervened, “The loser gets sent on a mission with Hisoka”.  “I’m going to the hotel. Tired”, Feitan sighed. “You sure? We don’t get many nights off”, a lingering smile on Chrollo’s face. “I’m sure boss. Goodnight”. “Okay Fei, see you tomorrow”. “Goodnight, idiot”, the blonde replied before walking to the pool table. 

His heart ached at the thought that he never see you again. He hated this feeling. 

“Leaving?”. “Huh?”, Feitan slowly turned his head. “Leaving?”, you repeated yourself as you closed your jacket. “Yeah, I’m tired”, Feitan ignored the taxi that was waiting for him. “Me too. Work’s stressing me out lately”, a serious expression on your face. “Hm”, another cold reply. 

“I’m starving. Want to grab some food?”. 

Why were you asking a stranger to ‘grab some food’? It annoyed him how careless you were. 

“Just be honest and tell me what you really want”, Feitan's eyes met yours. They seemed so cold and distant, but there was a slight smirk on his face.  “H-huh? I-I don’t know what you’re talking about”, you hastily turned your head to the ground, cheeks red with shame. “Normally boss gets all the girls”, he looked to the sky, “About time I had some fun”. “H-huh?”, you froze as you felt his hand around your wrist, pulling you towards the car. “W-wait-“. “Don’t back down now. You seemed so eager a minute ago”. 

“Where are you taking me?”, you pulled away, studying the car in front of you. “My room”. “Where? I’m not getting into a car with a stranger without knowing where you’re taking me”. “Waste of time. We both know you’re coming”. 

He watched as you grabbed your phone from your bag. You were so cute with your fake ‘stern’ expression and cherry-red cheeks. 

“What are you doing?”, he clenched his jaw. “I’m sharing my location with a friend”, you frowned, "If you end up murdering me-". “Don’t worry, I’m not planning to”, he interrupted you with a smirk. “Now get in. It’s cold”. 

--- 

“What’s your name?”, you asked as he opened the door to his room. It was a luxurious hotel, something regular people couldn’t afford. “Does it matter?”, he raised a brow. 

He knew you enjoyed this. The thrill, his arrogance… 

“It does”, you watched as he entered his room. “Just get inside”, he walked towards the bed. “Fine, I’m Y/N-“. “Don’t care”. 

“You’re lucky you look so handsome in your suit”, you closed the door behind you. 

“I’m lucky?”.

“W-what?”, you froze as you felt his hot breath against your ear. He was sitting on the bed a second ago… How could he be so fast? “I’d say you’re the lucky one. I’m very picky when I pick a new toy”, his hand traveled to your waist. “Toy?”, you loudly swallowed as you tried to control your breathing. You didn’t want to seem desperate. “You’ll never go back to your old life, to your friends, family… You’re mine now”. “So, you’re saying I can’t leave?”, your heart racing. “You can try”, he chuckled as he tightened his grip around your waist, “I want you to. I want to hunt you down, to hear you beg for mercy, to look at me with red-stained eyes, tears streaming down your face…”. 

“But my friend, she knows where I am”, you clutched onto your purse. “Cute”, he swiftly turned you around, pressing your back against the wooden door. “You have no idea who I am, do you? Who we were? Poor little thing. You’re like a deer caught in the headlights”. “W-wait!”, you tried to push him away as he softly bit the space between your shoulder and neck. “Wait?”, a devilish smirk as he lifted your skirt, swiftly pulling your panties to the side. “Fuck”, he looked down at his fingers. “You’re telling me to wait but you're soaking”, he chuckled as he grazed his tongue along the digits of his fingers, “So sweet”. 

“Well, I guess it’s time to drop this silly little act”, you smirked. “It’s obvious you haven’t noticed”. 

“Noticed?”, Feitan’s eyes studied yours. He didn’t like the sudden change in your energy. “I didn’t mean to let it get this far but…”, you softly bit your bottom lip, “You looked so handsome in that suit”. 

“Who are you?”, a sudden cold feeling against your throat. “Careful with that knife, Fei. No fighting between members, right?”. 

What? To be honest, he never felt more clueless in his life. 

“So cute… Like a deer caught in the headlights”, you chuckled. “Came across Chrollo a couple of weeks ago. To be honest, I almost won when he tried to steal my nen … But he gave me a choice: join the Troupe, or live without it”. “You’re lying. Boss didn’t tell me anything about a new member”. “Because he wanted to see who’d get careless when someone flirted with them. And you lost, Fei”, your words died out, making them sound venomous. 

“Tsk”, he took a step backward, swiftly putting the knife away. “Boss knows I never do this”. “But you did now”, you happily hopped behind him. “Show me your spider”, he froze as he looked over his shoulder. “Here”, you swiftly pulled your shirt over your head. “See?”, you pointed towards your waist. 

Right. This was the moment he started to hate you. 

“What’s that expression?”, you giggled. “You’re almost drooling”. “Get out”, he clenched his jaw. “You’ve made your point”. “I don’t want to leave”, you hastily replied, a frown on your face. “Sure, this was some kind of twisted test but…”, you paused as you fiddled with your fingers. “I really do think you’re handsome and… I mean… My body can’t lie”, a blush on your cheeks. 

How could you switch moods so fast? It was as if he was talking to a different person. Your stance changed, your voice, your expression… No wonder his boss decided to let you join. You could fool anyone, even someone as skilled as himself. 

“You sound desperate”. “Because I am”, you softly replied, “When you said I was going to be your little toy, that I was yours… I liked that”. “Too bad. Don’t like being tricked”. “B-but Chrollo told me to-“. “I don’t care”, Feitan laid down on the bed. “You should’ve stuck with your little performance. If you did, you’d be shaking underneath me by now”.  

“Fine”, you rolled your eyes, “Guess I’ll take my chances with Phinks”. 

No. He didn’t want you to. Even though you weren’t an innocent bystander, even though you were probably as strong as him… He wasn’t going to let that idiot have you first. 

“Don’t put your shirt back on”, he slowly sat up straight, looking as disinterested as ever. “Oh?”, you smirked, “Changed your mind?”. “He can have you when I’m done”, he slowly walked towards you. “Careful, I’m the possessive type”, you placed your thumb in between your teeth. “You don’t know me”, his hands now gently fiddling with the straps of your bra.“So?”, you pouted, “You’re mine now”. “Don’t say stuff like that”, he quickly grabbed your jaw, forcing you to look at him. “When we’re done, you’re going to leave my room and pretend this never happened”. 

“When we're done, you’re only going to want more”, you grabbed his other hand, guiding it to your skirt. “Come on, Fei. Let’s have some fun”. 

You were right. From the moment he felt your warmth, from the moment you arched your back… He was going to use you over and over again. He could never forget the way you felt, the way your body welcomed him… 

“So good”, you closed your eyes, your legs wrapped around his waist. “Feels so good, Fei”.

Normally he wasn’t like this. He never cared if the girl liked it, if she felt good, but now…

“What do you want me to do, princess? Want me to help you?”. “P-please”, your eyes flew open. “Touch me, please Fei”, an innocent look on your face. “Again”, he softly bit in your cheek, “Ask me”. “Please Fei, make me come”, you let your nails sink into his shoulders, “Please, please, please”. “Cute”, his lips found yours, “Hurry though, won’t last much longer”. 

“S-shit”, you tightened your grip, your legs shaking as his digits found your sweet spot. “I-I’m coming”. “Already?”, he smiled, “It’s fine, you can come. Won’t last long anyway”. 

“F-fuck, you feel so good when you clench around me like that”, Fei’s eyes were wide open. No one ever felt this good. “C-come with me, please”, your brows drew together, eyes locked with his. “W-where do you want me to?”, Fei mirrored your expression. 

He tried so hard not to fill you up already. He wanted to feel you come undone around him. He needed to. 

“D-don’t care”, you arched your back, “J-just keep going, please-“. “F-fuck”, he frowned as he looked down. “I-I’m coming”, you let your head fall back, nails dragging across his back. “M-me too, princess”. 

Was this the best he ever had? Even his legs were shaking. 

“Fuck”, he sighed as he intertwined his hands with yours, his head resting against your chest.  “What do you think?”, you tried to catch your breath. “What?”, his eyes studied your expression. “Was I right?”. “Hm”, he smiled, “Only want more, princess”. 

[am-i-the-asshole-official]

AITA FOR KISSING MY ROOMMATE GOODNIGHT?

(everyone is in their 20s. names are fake)

I’d like to start off by giving background, I(M) live with my roommate Salt. We’ve been living together for a couple of years now and met through mutual friends.

I’m straight. Salt is gay in a very open, stereotypical sense(yk flamboyant, effeminate etc) and I’m not saying this to judge him/say I resent him or something he’s a dear friend of mine and I couldn’t care less abt his sexuality or how he chooses to express himself. However it’s important to mention this for the sake of AITA

The actual ‘issue’ started a year ago, where we were both drunk coming home from a party, I was struggling to get my keys out so he called me a idiot and then just.. kissed me??

That caused me to question my sexuality for a while because being a straight man you’d think I’d be repulsed or bothered by it but no I didn’t really enjoy it(not like there was smth to enjoy it was like a couple of seconds) but didn’t really mind it either in fact it didn’t made me feel any different than how I’d feel kissing a random girl I suppose?

So yeah I experimented with my sexuality for a week or so and even almost hooked up with some guy but nope. Still straight. Just didn’t mind him(probably because of how close we are)

Anyways back to the point after that Salt avoided me for a while but in the end we did have a talk which was basically him saying he was not attracted to me, how it was a spur of the moment thing and also apologizing if he made me uncomfortable.

To that I told him he did not and joked about how he could do it again.

Fast forward a month(?) later the “kissing the homies goodnight” meme came out, so one time I asked him where was my goodnight kiss was at and he actually did it, after that we just continued doing that ig I don’t think none of us thought much of it other than some night time ritual.

Here comes the actual AITA part, I recently got a girlfriend(we’ll call her Pepper). I’ts not like I’m super in love with her but she’s a nice girl and I genuinely like her so I wish to keep her happy.

The issue with Pepper is that she talks a tad bit too much, I normally wouldn’t mind it as I’m on the quiet part, but she expects me to memorize everything she has told me(not in the “do you remember my friend” type of way in the she tells me about 10 different people and gets upset when I don’t remember their exes names or what did friend7 did on lunch a month ago type of way) she also has a tendency to hyperfixate on shows and talk about the plot & characters as if they’re actual real people which makes it hard for me to understand if something she says is about a show or real. She gets really upset if I forget even the smallest things about those stories and rants about how I never listen to her. I tried talking to her about this but it only ends with her crying so I just keep shut to keep her satisfied

A week ago I was having a really bad day of migraines and nothing seemed to help but me and Pepper had made plans to hang in my place and I didn’t want to cancel. She comes over and starts talking about her sister in life’s brunch. I ask her if she could slow down a bit cause my head hurts and I can’t really keep up.

Well she takes it the wrong way and starts yelling at me about how I always am like this and how I never listen to her. I admit I’m the asshole for saying this, but I ask her if she’s unable to sit down and have a conversation like an adult. This makes her calm down a bit and she sits down so we can discuss.

I try explaining to her how it’s unfair how she expects me to remember everything and I’d be more than happy to listen to her, maybe just slow down a bit?

In mid of it she has this weird smile on her face and tells me I look hot mad, she then leans over to kiss me which I pull away from because it feels like she’s just trying to change a topic and I think this is an important convo for our relationship.

This is the moment Salt decides to arrive at home(I should also mention he’s TERRIBLE at reading the room) he comes over gives me my goodnight kiss and leaves.

(I would like to add its not like we make out or something. He just gives me a peck on the lips, says goodnight and leaves)

This drives Pepper crazy. She starts shouting at me on how I’d not kiss her but him? And that I could go ride his dick if I’m that gay for him. She storms out of the apartment

I’d like to add that Pepper has never said anything about me and Salt. I never told her about the goodnight kiss(Because I mean who goes to their girlfriend like “hey btw I kiss my roommate at nights. but no homo”?) but we never hide it either in fact I’m pretty sure we did that while she was in room once or twice too. Pepper has made jokes about us being gay and how she feels bad about getting inbetween us but never anything on being uncomfortable or not liking it.

Now it’s been a week and we haven’t talked since. She is not answering my messages and I stopped trying to contact her from there but I’m starting to doubt myself, am I the asshole here? Should I go apologize?

What are these acronyms?

[elliespassagerprincess]

You’re boygenius one is sooo iconic btw

Can you do petals on the moon-wasian project

🫶

Petals on the moon - (ellie williams x reader)

Iconic??? Thank you sm anon, like literally this made me smile but anyway I hope you enjoy&lt;3

This story is inspired by the song Petals on the moon by Wasian Project, if you can please listen to the song as you're reading:)

Pairing: Ellie x fem!reader

remember requests are always open feel free to leave one or just send me a song and I'll take it from there :)

HUGE Warnings: Mentions of murder, kidnapping , descriptions of a dead body, depression, graphic descriptions of suicide and funerals (please don't read this if you aren't in the right mental state)

Summary: In which Ellie regrets her decision

wc: 2.0k

Feeling down

Orange juice

Cigarette

To get me through

As it rains

I conclude

I need help

From someone new

"you know you're going to get cancer if you keep smoking that shit" she heard Joel's voice talk from behind her.

"Getting cancer sounds better than living" Ellie replied as she took another puff.

Smoke filled the air as Joel walked behind her, placing a cup of orange juice next to her.

Ellie looked down at the cup, and she let out a sigh as she remembered the time you mentioned you hated the orange liquid.

"Ellie what the fuck is this?" she heard you talk from the kitchen.

"It's juice" Ellie spoke, eyebrow raised, confused on why you were asking.

Were you really that stupid?

"I know it's fucking juice you idiot, I meant the flavor"

"It's orange juice... it's my favorite flavor"

"Ellie this shit is sour"

"ok so what do you like? apple juice?"

"As a matter of fact I do"

"you are so fucking disgusting" Ellie muttered as she took the box of orange juice from your hands.

She opened the top and she brought the base to her lips as she started drinking directly from the box. Ellie heard you make gagging noises before you walked back to the kitchen. A smile spread onto her lips as she continued to enjoy the juice.

"Ah fuck" Ellie cursed she felt her finger tips burn. She looked at her right hand realizing she was so lost in thought that her cigarette had completely burnt down.

"I don't want this" Ellie said as she pushed the cup back to Joel before she threw what was left of the cigarette on the floor.

She heard Joel sigh from beside her, as he grabbed the cup and gulped down the orange juice within seconds.

The air around them was silent, the moon was already high in the sky, and the light of the stars filled the air.

It was cold, but what else would you expect in September? September was your favorite month. Ellie remembered the day you walked into her and Joel's house wearing a stupid bee costume.

"Halloween is month away, you idiot" Ellie mentioned as you walked in with a huge smile on your face.

"So? I can start preparing"

"Dude you're literally so fucking weird"

You gave Ellie a small smile before saying "but you love me don't you?"

All Ellie could do was chuckle at your antics before you ran out the house screaming "I'm going to try on another costume!"

She heard the door slam.

"Of course I love you, how couldn't I?" She whisperered to herself.

Ellie was snapped back to reality when she heard Joels voice.

"What?" she questioned.

"Are you going to her funeral tomorrow? " Joel asked again.

"Yeah" was all she responded with.

"Ellie-"

"Don't start with your it's not your fault bullshit Joel"

"Ellie but it wasn't-"

"it was!" She almost yelled.

Joel tried putting his hand on her shoulder but Ellie pulled away. She stomped to the front door of their house before she turned to look at him saying: "it was my fucking fault"

Joels eyes softened, and he opened his mouth to speak but Ellie quickly interrupted him.

"I should've opened the door, but instead I was too busy sucking up to Cat"

Ellie took a deep breathe before she continued talking: "She died because of me"

"Goodnight Joel see you tomorrow" was the last thing Ellie said to him before she walked into their home.

So take me in your spaceship

Throw me up into new places

Blast me into silence

Let your guidance get me through this

Gravity is pulling me

Along and I can't find a way

To understand

Why I'm here again and again, oh

Ellie felt alone.

What she's feeling now is something that she couldn't even describe.

It felt like there was a hole in heart that couldn't be filled with anything, it felt like she was walking around without a purpose, without guidance.She didn't have anyone to talk to since you've left.

Ellie didn't know if she's never appreciated you enough. Or if she ever showed you enough love. But now you weren't here anymore, made her realize all the times she has neglected you. All the times she could've spent with you but she was busy with bullshit.

She wish she could bring you back to life, even if it was just for 5 minutes so that you could fill this hole that you left.

Ellie wondered what it would be like to live in space. Floating around aimlessly, wondering if you might see an alien or two. This is what her grief felt like. Like she was aimlessly living her life, like she was floating around hoping that someone would come fill the hole in her heart.

No hook ups, no cigarettes, an no amount of orange juice could fill her.

She was supposed to remember the good times the two of you had, but it seems that tonight she was plagued by your last moments.

The way you knocked on the bathroom door that night she and cat were hooking up in, the way she heard you crying and knocking on the door, begging her to open up.

All she did was pull away from Cat's lips and she yelled a quick "fuck off" before her and Cat's lips connected again.

She remembered the loud sob you let out after she yelled out you.

At the time Ellie thought you were being overdramatic. Maybe you were drunk, maybe you had a bad hookup, but she never expected that your body would be found 4 days after that.

If she had just opened the door that day, you would still be here with her. You would still randomly show up to her house to annoy the shit out her and leave.

But now here Ellie lays in her bad. All alone.

Without you.

Yeah, she thinks being sent into space would be better than feeling this empty.

I feel like everybody's singing out of tune

I feel like I can't help but always be so blue

But in the end I know I must keep pulling through

And brace myself for all the hell-like petals on the moon

Ellie felt out of place.

Everyone standing outside your grave deserved to be here. But she didn't. She couldve stopped your death, but yet she was selfish.

She wanted to prove to Dina and Jesse that she wasn't in love with you. Everyone in Jackson knew Ellie loved you, but she was too stupid to admit her feelings, like a fucking pussy.

And now she couldn't even tell you.

If she never decided to prove a point that day, if she never decided to even invite you to that party you would still be here with here and this stupid fucking funeral would not be happening.

Her eyes followed the coffin as it was lowered into the ground.

She knew you were in there, but she didn't want to believe it. The girl she was so helplessly in love with was being lowered six feet under for the rest of eternity.

The crowd erupted in the song "Amazing grace". Some people were singing, some people were crying.

This is all her fucking fault.

Ellie heard Joel softly crying from behind her. And all Ellie did was shamefully look away.

She had to stay strong for Joel.

You were like a daughter to him and he isn't taking you death well. As strong as Joel pretends to be, Ellie knows he's struggling.

She knows he started drinking again. She knows he barley sleeps. She knows he's concerned for her mental health.

Did she deserve it? Did Ellie deserve his love and pity after letting you die in such a gruesome way?

Ellie has your blood on her hands, and yet Joel tells her it wasn't her fault.

Feeling cold

Train delayed

You've gone home

And I'm afraid

Helios

Sun divine

Hold me up

Into the sky

Ellie remembers the day your body way found like it was yesterday.

The night after the party Ellie woke up with a pounding headache.

She groaned when she heard Joel barge into her room with a frantic look on his face.

"What do you want Joel?" Ellie asked through a yawn.

"y/n didn't get home last night"

And Ellie immediately sat up.

"What?"

"Where is she Ellie?"

"I-" she opened her mouth to talk but Joel's phone started ringing.

The only memory she had was you crying and begging her to open the door.

Then the search started. They searched every street, every river and every ditch in Jackson to find you.

4 fucking days.

4 fucking days of searching and interviews, and you still weren't found.

Ellie was on a train when it suddenly stopped, she pulled out her phone to text Joel and to tell him that she'd be late to the search that afternoon.

"They found a body, on the tracks!" Someone yelled from the front.

And Ellie's heart dropped to her stomach.

It was yours.

Your skin was cold meaning you had been dead for days. Your beautiful skin was littered with bruises and cuts. And around your neck were hand prints indicating that you had been suffocated.

Your cause of death was suffocating which means you were alive during the torture you faced.

If only she had opened that door. If only she wasn't filled with lust in that moment.

All Ellie could do was look up to the sky and hope that you were in a better place.

Maybe you've gone to that "home" called heaven religious people keep talking about.

Born again, alone again, again

Home again, you're gone again, again, again

Will somebody be there for me when all my friends have left?

Even if I'm undone in the end, ooh

Ellie stared up into the sky admiring the clouds. She walked towards the huge oak tree that the two of you always hung out at.

"C'mon ellie" you begged her one night.

"Dude it's literally 3am"

"So?" you yelled as you jumped onto the bed.

Ellie let out a groan she pulled a blanket over her head.

"We can go the oak tree and tell eachother scary stories" you told her as you pulled the blanket off of her head.

That night as the two of you lay under that beautiful oak tree and she looked over to you and she realized how in love she was with you.

That day changed everything for ellie.

She stood under the oak smiling at the memories.

Ellie climbed up the tree, as she pulled out a rope from her pocket.

You were strangled to death, she will die the same way.

She tied the rope onto the branch, and she slowly climbed out of the tree.

As she hopped out the tree her eyes landed on where the two of you carved in your initials all those years ago. And for the first time since your death Ellie started crying.

All the emotions she bottled up. All the guilt she felt. All the anger she felt just come out.

Ellie fell to her knees and she started sobbing. With tears in her eyes her hand reached up to touch the marking and a new wave of sadness flooded her.

She doesn't know how long she sat there sobbing, but hours must've went by.

Her throat felt raw from all the sobbing, her eyes felt puffy. Her whole face hurt.

Ellie looked to the rope that was hanging from the tree.

She looked at it, and she heard it calling her. The loneliness she felt and every ounce of pain she currently felt will all fall away if she just hung herself. She knew everything would be ok, and that she'd finally be with you again.

Ellie quickly got up and she gave your initial a kiss, before she got the chair that she secretly stole from Joel earlier that day.

Ellie placed the chair below the rope and she got onto it. She out her head through the rope, and she jumped kicking the chair to the side.

It felt like someone had kicked her in her something, the air was completely knocked out of her.

Is this how you felt in your final moments?

Ellie was in pain. Everything hurt. Now she knows what it felt like. What you had to go through. What she had put you through.

Ellie stared at sky as she felt more and more at ease.

The physical and emotional pain she was feeling this entire time was fading away.

Ellie's eyes rolled to the back of her head she took her last breath. Her body went limp.

She was finally put out of her suffering.

And for the first time since your death Ellie felt free.

Who knows, maybe she'd see you in the after life....

Authors note: well idk why all my work has been so depressing but anyway just remember you are loved and go always be kind....

Yours truly,

Zia:)

[stayteezdreams]

A Better Ending: Part Two

Plot: After your unplanned date with San, it is now time for a planned date that you hope leads to many more.

-Part One-

Pairing: Choi San x Gn!Reader

-Meet-Cute Series-

Warnings: Kissing toward the end.

Words: 2k

Standing in front of your mirror, you sighed as you looked at the third outfit you tried on. Nothing felt quite right, but maybe that was just your nerves. Deciding to try one more outfit on, you began rummaging through your closet.

Hearing your phone ding, you quickly ran over to check the text, thinking, and hoping it might be San.

As you read the contact name you frowned. Why was your ex-blind date texting you now? It had been nearly week since he ghosted you.

Opening the text out of curiosity, you felt an odd sense of ease as you read his message.

'Hey Y/n. I know you probably don't want to hear from me, and I get it. I just thought I owed you an explanation. I'm really sorry I stood you up, that was an asshole move. I ended up running into my ex before our date and things got...kind of distracting? We ended up talking and hitting it off again. I should have texted you, but I felt bad. I still do! I just feel like less of a coward now.'

You hummed, knowing he was telling the truth since you had heard some of it from your friend Tae a few days before.

Typing out a reply, you checked the time to make sure you still had time to get ready for your date with San.

'I heard it from Tae It's understandable you wouldn't want to go on a date after that but you really should have texted me instead of letting me sit there like an idiot for so long. But, thing's worked out for me anyways, so don't worry too much about it.'

'I really am sorry, you didn't deserve that. But I'm glad it worked out, can I ask how?'

'I met someone else, I'm actually getting ready for a date with him now so I gotta go. I hope things work out with your ex, ex-ex?'

'Haha, yeah, we're trying again. I'm glad you met someone, good luck! And goodnight!'

"Good luck to you too. Goodnight.'

You smiled softly as you went back to your closet. You did gain a sense of relief learning the real reason he stood you up. It wasn't as bad as him thinking you were so unappealing that he bolted.

After finally finding an outfit you didn't hate, you made your way to the address San sent you. When you arrived, you looked up at a building you didn't recognize.

Looking around, you saw San standing near the entrance of the building. He was wearing a casual formal outfit, and looked just as good, if not better, as he did when you first met.

Noticing you, he grinned brightly and waved, watching you closely as you approached. You felt your face grow warm as you saw his gaze drift up and down your figure, you hoped you chose a good outfit.

This worry was quickly replaced by butterflies as he leaned forward, pressing a soft kiss to your cheek before complementing you.

"You look amazing."

You smiled shyly "Thank you. You do too." You said with a soft tone making him smile bashfully. You looked over at the building you "I've never heard of this place before."

"Really? It's amazing I think you'll really love it."

You grinned at him as he reached out his arm for you to take as he led you inside. You couldn't stop looking around as the interior of the building was sleek dark colors. Getting into the elevator and going to the top floor, you began to grow a bit nervous.

"I'm dressed alright for this place right?" You asked softly and he smiled warmly at you and nodded.

"You look perfect, don't worry."

You felt heat rise up your next at his sincere gaze as you nodded in relief as the elevator door slid open. The dimly lit room had black matte floors, and the ceiling was covered in a thousand tiny lights meant to look like stars. The room was surrounded by windows showing views of the city.

You were seated at a private table at the back right next to a window.

You stared out at the view in awe, letting out a soft breath. "Wow."

San smiled and let out a breath of relief at your reaction. "It's beautiful isn't it?"

You nodded with a grin, "It's amazing. I can see my neighborhood from here."

After you ordered your food, you and San fell into conversation, everything coming naturally and comfortably just like the first time.

"Oh, I wanted to ask. Did you hear anything from the girl that stood you up?"

San smiled softly as he nodded his head, "Apparently she ran into her ex and forgot about our date."

Your heart jumped a bit and he noticed the almost stunned look on your face. "What?"

"That just...sounds familiar."

He rose his brow in confusion and you told him about the messages you received from your blind date.

He remained silent for a moment, now wondering the same thing as you.

As he met your eyes you shook your head, "There's no way right?" Your tone held a hint of disbelief.

He shrugged his shoulders, "I mean. If they were both coming to the same restaurant to meet us, that definitely heightened the chance of them running into each other."

You let out a bewildered laugh and he shook his head before his gaze softened as he looked at you.

You suddenly felt shy. "What?"

He shook his head softly, "Maybe it was fate after all."

"Fate?"

"Us meeting. We were meant to meet that night, so fate stepped in and took away the things that would have stopped us."

You felt your face grow warmer as he stared sincerely, yet intensely at you.

"Do you believe in fate?"

He tilted his head ever so slightly, "I might now."

You grinned, and his smile widened as he saw how his comments affected you.

"Do you?"

You thought about it for a moment, "I'd like too."

He nodded softly, knowing you were feeling and hoping the same things as he was in that moment.

Walking out into the cool night air after dinner, San looked over at you, and you turned to meet his gaze. Your eyes locked for a moment as San seemed to gaze at you.

"I don't want this date to end." He said softly.

"Me neither."

He grinned before he looked around, "Want to go on a walk? There's a park nearby."

You nodded your head, "I'd love that.

Walking slowly towards the park, your shoulders brushed softly as silence lingered between you. Feeling San's hand gently brush yours, you felt your heart hump. slowly, you felt his hand wrap around yours, and you looked over at him.

He met yours eyes and smiled softly, "Is this okay?"

You smiled and nodded, "Yes."

San's smile widened as he looked forward again, interlacing his hand completely with yours now, his own heart beating heavily in his chest.

"I don't know if I've ever been to this part of the city." You commented after a moment as you looked around the park you entered.

San looked around as well. "I come here on occasion, it's quite nice."

You nodded in agreement "It is."

The quiet night air was suddenly disrupted as the sound of arguing became audible. You and San shared a confused look as you looked around for the cause of the sudden disturbance.

Suddenly seeing a girl stomping down the side walk, and a man not too far behind, they continued to argue, though their words weren't quite intelligible.

As you looked at them, you stopped, eyeing the guy for a moment.

"Wait a second." You mumbled.

Suddenly San squeezed your hand and you looked over at him, seeing a similar look of recognition on his face.

As it slowly clicked in your mind you looked back at the couple and whispered. "Is that them?"

San nodded, "I think so."

Meeting eyes you both shared a look before you spoke softly with a raised brow, "It must not be going well after all."

You let out a laugh of disbelief, as San looked dumbfounded at the couple. Noticing they had stopped and turned to argue with each other, you quickly grabbed San's arm and pushed him a bit.

"Let's go before they see us!" You whispered hurriedly.

San grinned as he let you lead him as you both quickly made your way further into the park. As he took your hand again, you were both giggling as you realized how bizarre the situation was.

Making it further into the park where you could no longer see them, you stopped, soft giggles still falling from both of you. Looking over at a large fountain, San led you over a you both sat down on the edge.

"I really hope we don't keep seeing them." You said as you let out a soft laugh.

San nodded "Once is enough."

Letting out a breath you looked up at the sky, your eyes lingering on a few stars poking out of the darkness.

Looking over at you, San almost felt breathless as he took you in. He really did think you were beautiful. You made his heart hammer in ways that were unfamiliar to him.

Feeling his gaze on you, you looked over at San, your face growing hot as you saw just how intense his gaze was.

A small shy smile formed on your face "What?"

San smiled "Sorry" he let out a soft laugh "I just think you're so beautiful."

You grinned and looked down at your feet, and San smiled proudly, loving the way you got shy at his compliments.

He caught your gaze again "I'm so glad I decided to ambush you at the restaurant that night."

You laughed, "I'm glad you did too."

San placed his hand on top of yours and squeezed softly, your eyes locked for a few moments and silent feelings passed between you. You saw his eyes flick to your lips and you felt a wave of butterflies.

Slowly, San leaned closer, stopped just as his nose brushed yours. His eyes grazed over your lips before he locked them with your own again.

He swallowed his nerves down a he whispered, "Can I kiss you?"

Barely able to find your voice, you nodded softly, "Yes."

Leaning in the rest of the way, his lips melded into yours perfectly as his hand slowly brushed up your arm, climbing to your shoulder and then your face as he deepened the kiss.

You moved with him, gently placing your hand on his arm, as electricity seemed to crawl over your skin. Pulling away reluctantly to take a breath, your eyes locked with his again.

He smiled at you as he gently caressed your cheek. Pecking your lips again he then rested his forehead against yours.

Comfortable silence hung between you for a moment before he spoke. "I want to do that a thousand more times."

You giggled softly "Oh, is that all?"

He grinned and shook his head, "A million times."

As you giggled again, he quickly leaned forward pressing his lips against yours once more. His hand moving to the back of your head as he deepened the kiss.

When he pulled away, he took your hand into his again as you noticed the redness in his ears. You smiled softly, glad he seemed just as effected as you.

"You can tell your friend they don't have to set you up with anyone anymore."

"I already have." You said with a soft giggle.

"Did she ask why?"

"Yes."

"What did you say?"

"That I was interested in someone."

He smiled softly as he continued to gently caress your hands "Now you can tell her it's because you have a boyfriend."

You grinned at him and he smiled teasingly at you. Feeling brazen you leaned forward and pressed a kiss to the corner of his lips. His eyes widened briefly before he smiled brightly.

Pulling you forward, he kissed you again, softly. One hand stayed wrapped in yours as the other held the back of your head. Though your heart was pounding, excitement and comfort radiated through you.

San held you closer to him as you both forgot about the world around you, only thinking of each other and the sudden, yet wonderful turn your lives seemed to take.

xx End xx

A/n: Ugh, I really hate ending fics, sorry it's a bit abrupt lol. I hope you liked this part!

General Ateez Taglist: @soso59love-blog

Series Taglist: @bubblesreplies, @halesandy, @why-am-i-sad, @acciocriativity

[gunilslaugh]

Unspoken

Kwak Jiseok Summary: Some words are better left unspoken, but were these some of those words?(non-idol au) WC:654 Warning:none (maybe angst but I feel like it’s very mild)

photo not mine credits to owner.

The fire in the firepit cracked, filling the silence between you and Jiseok. It was around ten o’clock at night and it might have been better for both of you to have gone to bed already. Nevertheless you two are with each other instead. 

“Why did you reject him?” Jiseok asked, breaking the silence between you two. 

“Because I don’t like him,” you sighed.

“You looked like you were close with him. Like you were happy when you were spending time with him,” Jiseok says. 

“As a friend. I’m close with him as a friend. I’m happy hanging out with him as friends,” you clarified.

“Like me?” Jiseok turns from facing the fire to look at you. You ignore his stare and keep looking at the crackling fire in front of you. 

“Yeah, like you.” The fire cracks especially loud as if it’s calling you out on your lie. Truthfully you rejected your other friend because of your feelings for Jiseok. No matter how many times you tried to fool yourself by saying that Jiseok was only a friend, a close friend. Someone you're happy to hangout with as a friend. It was never true. The truth was that you were hopelessly in love with Jiseok. 

Emphasis on hopelessly. It was clear that Jiseok didn’t see you as more than a friend. He always talked to you about girls he found cute or pretty. The girls that he was interested in. He came to you for relationship advice. He always found it strange when you rejected someone. Specialty when the person who asked you out was someone he thought was a good fit for you. He never once stopped to consider that maybe you had feelings for him. That maybe your reason for rejecting them was because they weren’t him. 

You couldn’t blame Jiseok though. It’s not like you ever told him about your feelings. You always remained quiet about them. Never having the courage to voice them outloud. If you did it would probably end in rejection anyway. You guess that’s what you were saving yourself from. It was better to leave your feelings unspoken, so you wouldn’t have to face rejection. 

“So you can’t even give him a chance?” he questioned. You turn your head to look at Jiseok, who now looks at the fire rather than you. 

“You know I hate when people say that. If I thought I could give him a chance I wouldn’t have rejected him,” you replied tiredly. 

“Are you interested in anyone then?” he asked. He shifts his gaze from the burning fire back  over to you. This time you look at him too. 

“No,” but your eyes staring into his are saying yes. “Are you?” you flipped the question

“No.” He turns to look away from you. Both of you revert your attention to the fire. The crackling once again fills in the silence.

Soon another sound fills the silence: Jiseok’s snoring. You turn to look at Jiseok to find him passed out. You stood up from your chair that was across from his on the other side of the firepit. You walked over to Jiseok and knelt down beside him.

“I like you idiot,” your voice was barely above a whisper. You swiped some of his hair away from his eyes. “What difference does saying that make? It doesn’t change anything at all. You’d never look at me like that.” You took another moment to look at the guy you love hopelessly.

“Jiseok,” you called, shaking his shoulder. His eyes open tiredly. He stares at you through half-lidded eyes. “Let’s head inside. We should get to bed,” you say. Jiseok nods and pushes himself up from his chair. The pair of you walk back inside. Jiseok watched you as you disappeared into your room after telling him goodnight. 

“Who said I’d never look at you like that?” he said looking at your closed door.

Taglist: @purplelady85 @odesonnets @gingerjunhan @chewednails @ezlynkisses @mon2sunjinsuver @mxlly143

[simonsrosebud]

kevaaron cause why not

kevneil (both are acespec )

Matt/Nicky (I stan bi matt) Erik and Nicky are still friends but we're previously in a relationship, Erik has moved on (maybe nickys first love??)

andrew/Roland pre -series (theyre like a year apart cause I'm not sure how old Roland is but I've always thought of him to be a gay middle-aged man, but Andrew would be like underage and that's a nono)

Kandrew (acespec kevin?? Maybe on the demisexual spectrum??)

Renee/Allison/Dan or some variant/combination in the same au as Matt/Nicky

Jean/Neil , demisexual spec Neil

Kevin/Jeremy cause they were never given a chance and KEVIN I KNOW THERE'S GAY IN YOU demispec kev

Choose whichever pairing that inspires you most but PLEASE tag me in the writing cause I need more aftg in my life <3

okay i may definitely tag u if i do others but for the first one i couldn't help but do jeremy and kevin I JUST LOVE THEM

The thing about Jeremy, Kevin supposes, is that he really thinks that he could’ve been a Raven if someone had been paying attention all the way in West Virginia.  He had the same talent and stats that other strikers did when joining the line, had more of a height advantage than Riko ever did.

Being a Raven would have broken his spirit.  Kevin doesn’t think he’d ever forgive himself for that, knowing that he probably would have contributed to it at some point.

But then he wouldn’t be this, free and spirited and so fearless in showing unabashed joy.  Here, sitting in Kevin’s car, babbling on about California and how Kevin really should visit him next time so that he can show him around.  “I’m glad the sun has finally reached you,” he’s saying, “You look good with a nice tan.”  And it’s taking too much out of Kevin to keep his eyes on the road.

Jeremy’s hotel is just off campus, but it’s not far, and Kevin does have time, so he leans against the hood of the car while Jeremy lifts himself up onto it because “the height difference isn’t fair”.  It's only three inches, Kevin doesn't dare point it out. And suddenly Kevin is reaching out to smooth his fingers through Jeremy’s hair, soft and smooth and golden in the setting sun.

“Maybe it’s all this hair weighing you down,” he says.

Jeremy smiles, wide and lopsided and lazy, and leans into his touch.  “Never.  The hair is part of my charm.”

Kevin settles his hand on the hood of the car, then, all long legs and tall torso leaning so casually, and he’s pretty sure Jeremy’s eyes linger on his arms for a second longer than normal.  It makes his chest fluttery, so he says, “That’s what I used to tell Jean.”

And oh, Jeremy lights up.  “Yeah?  He tells me it’s unbearable.”

“He’s an idiot.”  Why would anyone ever say that?  “I used to talk about you a lot… in the Nest.”  He doesn’t really know why he says it other than he and Jeremy won’t be in the same place forever and Neil told him to stop holding back just because he’s scared of getting a letter in the mail from Ichirou himself.  So long as you send them their money and stay out of jail, your free time is your own.

With the way Jeremy preens at his confession, he thinks it’s the right call, anyway.  He taps Kevin’s closest finger with his pinky.  “What, about exy?”

“No.”

Surprise.  “Oh.”  Jeremy’s skin is honey gold and bronzed from the constant California sun, but Kevin’s never seen him sunburned.  The tinge of pink on his cheeks may be as close as he’ll get.  “Can I tell you something embarrassing?”

Oh no.  Kevin steels the lead in his stomach.  “Sure, anything.”  He can feel it coming, the inevitable, I feel flattered, you know, but I just don’t-

“I used to have a poster of you in my bedroom at home.” 

God, this was even worse.

“But I took it down once my older brother caught me kissing it goodnight before bed.”

Oh…?

Kevin opens his mouth, but doesn’t know what to say.  Instead, a smirk starts taking over his lips.  “You had… You used to kiss me?  Every night?”

Jeremy’s blush has traveled the length of his neck, but at least he laughs softly.  “Until I was, like, almost sixteen, yeah.”  Kevin taps his pinky finger back.  “Now I just do it in my head.”

Pause.

Kevin whips his head back up, shock surely coating his face.  “You what?”

And Jeremy’s face falls.  “I-I just mean- sorry, I didn’t- oh god, I just made this super,” he slides off the hood of the car, “awkward.  That’s not- I just meant that, like-“

Kevin grabs his hand when he gets too far.  Jeremy freezes, but doesn’t dare move.  Kevin works on his words, lets his mouth fish open while he tries forming them, and eventually says, “If I had a poster of you,” he frowns, “I’d, um…” he looks up at Jeremy, vulnerable and confused and maybe, possibly, the least bit hopeful.  “I’d kiss you goodnight, too.”

Grinning, now, Jeremy lets his hand fall further into Kevin’s, and gives it two squeezes.  “You can, you know,” he whispers.  He meets Kevin’s eyes slowly.  “If you want.”

Nothing could stop the jackhammering in Kevin’s chest, or the rushing of blood in his ears from how red his face probably is, but Jeremy’s voice comes through right as rain regardless.  He gives his hand a tug, pulling Jeremy closer, and steps towards him so that he has to look down at him.  Those three inches are going to kill him.

But Kevin must be taking too long, because then Jeremy’s hand is sliding up the side of his neck and pulling him down, and Kevin’s hands go flying to his sides, falling into the dip of his waist and wishing they could run up along his skin.  Jeremy sighs a bit into his mouth and drags his tongue along Kevin’s bottom lip, and then Kevin is pulling him closer until their chests are flush and his hands can slide underneath the thin t-shirt, hand splaying on Jeremy’s lower back and wanting to curl itself into the skin there.

Jeremy’s tongue is warm and slick and Kevin tries not to be embarrassed when he moans lightly into his mouth.  It makes Jeremy smile against his mouth, which really is Kevin’s own fault because he did not want this kiss to end.  Jeremy tucks back in for one more kiss, shorter but sweeter, his fingers gently scratching at Kevin’s scalp, and searches Kevin’s face from only inches apart when Kevin subtly tilts his head into his hand.

“I kinda had one more embarrassing thing,” Jeremy pants a little, a warm smile poking through, and god, everything about him is warm and sweet, so so sweet.  His skin underneath his shirt is warm like a fresh batch of cookies; tongue like a melted marshmallow daring to fall apart in your mouth;  smile like a rainbow after a hot summer shower and disposition of one that reminds Kevin of his mother’s comfort, of Abby’s hugs and his father’s safety.

Jeremy himself is a son of Apollo, Kevin is sure of it.

But Kevin doesn’t trust his own voice, right now, so he just nods and hums in encouragement.  He holds Jeremy close more decidedly, taking advantage of the contact and flattening his palms along the bare skin of his back and waist below his shirt.  He thinks for a moment it sends shivers down Jeremy’s spine.

For this, though, Jeremy goes up on his tip toes and tilts Kevin’s head to grant him his ear.  He nips at it, first, sending a shiver down Kevin’s spine, and says, “You’ve been number one on my list since I was fourteen.”

“God.”  It’s not intentional, but Kevin doesn’t even care at this point.  He’s heard all about these lists from Nicky.  He knew what it meant.

Jeremy laughs, quiet and contained and goofy, and props his elbows on Kevin’s shoulders to shelter them in.  “Would you like to come up to my room?”

[questionableratatouille00]

𝓜𝓸𝓿𝓲𝓷𝓰 𝓞𝓷 4

Pairing: Wanda Maximoff x Fem!Reader

Summary:  Steve mentioning his regrets about what he did during a traumatic event prompts Y/n to think about her own regrets. This sends her into a spiral, but a very special outing helps her out. Especially when the invite comes from that same redhead.

Warnings (Entire Series): This series deals with mature topics, including, but not limited to: death, mental health issues, physical, emotional, and sexual abuse, grief, trauma, general unwellness, illness (both mental and physical), and a most likely inaccurate portrayal of group therapy (though it’s much better than whatever was going on in TFATWS.) Please mind the warnings below.

Warnings: grief, mentions of a dead lover, heart attacks, talks of trauma, cursing, self-hating thoughts.

🌻Series Masterlist 🌻

————————————————————————

𝐈 𝐂𝐚𝐧 𝐑𝐞𝐠𝐫𝐞𝐭

“I regret what I did. When it happened.” Steve confessed, and you frowned.

“Would you like to share more about what happened?” Coulson invited him to speak.

“There isn’t very much to share. I was thirteen, my dad and I were outside. He was cutting down a tree, and then…well, he just clutched his chest and fell over. I think he called for help. I can’t…can’t remember it very clearly. But I just stood there. I just stood there like an idiot.” Steve swallows, clearing his throat.

“And I’m not saying he was the best dad, or the best man, because he wasn’t. He was a drunk, and he’d do stupid shit when he was drunk. But I’d never…never seen someone die before.” He rubbed his hands together every so often. “I regret it. If I’d done something, maybe he could’ve lived.”

“That’s not your fault, you know.” Wanda says gently. “You were a child. You couldn’t control that.”

Steve just shrugged in response.

“Does anybody else want to share similar feelings or memories?” Coulson addressed the crowd.

Regret. You understood that feeling. You regret what you did the morning of the accident. How you didn’t get to tell her goodbye that morning before she went to work. How you didn’t tell her that you loved her.

Warm sunlight spilled through the blinds of your bedroom, the blankets strewn about the bed. You’d chosen these bedsheets together, you remembered. You’d picked them out in the store together, soon before you moved into your apartment. These were good bedsheets. Warm, and comfortable, and safe.

You heard the distant sound of Natasha making coffee in the kitchen. You wanted to get up, to kiss her cheek and tell her you loved her before she went off to work. But God, you were so tired, and the sheets were so comfortable and warm and safe. Besides, you’d see her later anyway. She was only going to work. She’d come back around dinner time, and then you two could cook together or she’d bring something home. Like any other day.

But it hadn’t been any other day. You knew that now. God, you were such an ass. You should’ve just gotten out of bed like a normal, functioning human being and told your girlfriend you loved her and hoped she had a good day. It was so easy. Why couldn’t you have just done it?

But now Natasha is gone, and the last time you got to talk to her was the night before she fucking died, and what had you said to her?

“Can you take the trash out when you leave tomorrow?” Fuck, you wanted to beat yourself with a chair. Your last words to your girlfriend were asking her to take out the fucking garbage. Not ‘I love you, goodnight’ or ‘you’re my everything’ but ‘hey, can you take out my fucking garbage because I can’t get up off my ass and do it myself?’

You weren’t very present as you listened to the rest of the meeting, and you weren’t present when you walked out to your car, either.

“Hey,” a familiar feminine voice called for your attention. “Are you alright?”

You looked over your shoulder to see the redhead. “Yeah. Yeah, m’fine.”

“Are you..sure?” She asked softly. God, there was something about her, about the way she spoke, that made you want to tell her everything.

Fuck, you were just downright awful, huh? You couldn’t even be bothered to tell your girlfriend that she mattered to you, and now you’re just going to dump your baggage onto every attractive person you meet?

“I…” You trailed off, opting to rub your thumb against your keys. You decided to just shrug in response.

“Would—would you like to get lunch together? Tomorrow?” She blurted out. She bit her lip immediately after, and you could tell she regretted saying it.

But you nodded. You couldn’t lie, you’d been attracted to her.

“Great. Uhm—here’s my number.” She hands you a tiny piece of paper, and you’d realized that she’d been waiting to give this to you.

“Thanks.” You smiled. She nodded quickly, rushing off to her car. You chuckled to yourself, opening your car door and getting inside. You didn’t feel as shitty anymore.

As you drove home, you couldn’t help but think about her. You and Wanda were always pretty friendly with each other, exchanging a few words or compliments here and there.

———————

The next day, you made sure you didn’t look like you’d just rolled out of bed, taking the time to pick out a decent, matching outfit and even accessorizing with a necklace. It wasn’t fancy by any means, you were just going out to a cafe. You’d texted with Wanda about where the two of you were going to go, and you’d both eventually decided to meet at the cafe at 12:30.

You were out the door at 12:00, driving down to the cafe as you anxiously anticipated the…whatever this qualified as. It wasn’t a date. It couldn’t have been a date, Wanda liked men and only men, right? Just because someone isn’t homophobic doesn’t mean they’re gay.

When you arrived, she parked next to you.

“Hey,” you greeted awkwardly, wiping your sweaty hand on your thigh.

“Hi.” She smiled, and her nose crinkled. It was adorable, and she looked genuinely happy to see you.

You walked inside together, ordering your food and taking it to a table to sit down. You’d ordered your favorite food from the cafe, and she’d gotten a cup of soup with a half of a sandwich.

You chatted about anything and everything, and you smiled warmly throughout the entire conversation. Wanda had that effect on people. Even in group therapy, whenever she talked to anyone they ended up smiling.

You’d been to a quite a few meetings, getting to know everybody. The weather was still decently warm and the sun was still out, but it was clear that fall was approaching.

“Any plans for Halloween?” You asked after a few moments of silence where the two of you were eating.

“No, I don’t think so. I normally have a bunch of trick-or-treaters, so I’m probably going to end up decorating a lot this year.” She explains. “Normally my husband would’ve helped, but..” she shrugged, smiling up at you lightly. You envied Wanda in her ability to be so put together after losing a partner. Her husband, no less. Natasha meant the world to you, and maybe one day you would’ve gotten married, but there’s a whole lot of extra stuff to do when your spouse dies, isn’t there?

“I might invite the group over and we could do it together. I’d make or get dinner or something, and we’d get time to get to know each other outside of therapy. Maybe that’s not what I’m supposed to do, but they all seem like really nice people. What do you think?” She suggested.

“I think that’s a good idea.” You shrugged. “I don’t know. I’d be willing to help, if you want.”

She smiled. “I think I’d like that.”

[canirove]

Broken Hearts Football Club | Chapter 24

Author's note: Chapter 24 of 29... 👀 Also, to those of you who just read this story and don't follow me, happy holidays and merry christmas to those of you who celebrate! 💜

Previous chapter | Next chapter

Masterlist

"I want to be a cat" Reece said.

"What?" Ben laughed.

"Look at Pepper. He has all the girls' attention!"

"He's cute."

"I am cute too."

"Yeah, but his hair has never been green" June chuckled, walking towards them. "Hi."

"Hi" Ben smiled.

"And... that's my cue to leave" Reece said. "I'm gonna see if I can convince Leah to share her pizza."

"Good luck" June laughed.

After the game they all had gathered at her place, John buying pizza and drinks for everyone to celebrate that "my little sister is finally back and I won't have to see her ugly face all the damn time", which had made everyone laugh. Everyone but June, who simply rolled her eyes.

"You were amazing today."

"I played for 5 minutes. I didn't have time to do anything."

"They were 5 amazing minutes."

"I think you are a bit biased, Chilwell."

"With you? Yeah, I've always been. Though this time it's different."

"How so?" June asked, moving closer.

"All my facts are positive now."

"You have gone so soft, Chilwell" she laughed.

"You make me go soft, Maxwell" he whispered, closing the space between them a bit more.

"You can't kiss me here" June whispered back.

"They won't mind. They all know what is going on between us."

"And what is that, if I may ask?"

"I like you, and you like me."

"I don't like you, Chilwell."

"Liar."

"I'm not lying, I don't like you. But I do…"

"June, I think your cat just farted on me!" Reece said.

"Jesus fucking Christ" she muttered. "And what do you want me to do about it?"

"I don't know. Take him to the bathroom?"

"He can go himself, he's a big boy."

"June, it actually smells really bad" Leah laughed.

"Urgh" she groaned, the moment she and Ben were having gone. 

But maybe it had been for the best, because she had almost told him that she loved him, and she was starting to feel like it would have been a mistake. That wasn't the place nor the moment to do it, and what if he didn't love her back? Mason was convinced he did, but what if he was wrong? What if Ben wasn't ready for that yet? And was she even ready for it? 

"June, are you ok?" Ben asked her, bringing her back to reality.

"Yes, yes, don't worry. I'm gonna go check what's the problem with Pepper."

"Ok" he replied. "But Maxwell" he said, taking her hand on his as she moved, his thumb doing small circles on her skin and sending goosebumps all over her arm. "You owe me a kiss."

"I'll try to remember" she winked before joining the others. 

━━━━━━❃━━━━━━

"I'm so happy for you, June" Vittoria said while hugging her. Or squeezing her. "Happy and proud."

"You made it very clear when I scored" she laughed.

"Just in case you forgot" she smiled. "But it was your first goal since you came back! And on your first game on the starting eleven!"

"It's been a night to remember, hasn't it? I just wish it had been home. And that Lauren had been with us too."

"Yeah… Let's hope she can recover for the next game" Vittoria said. "Anyway, do you want me to drive you home?"

"No, there is no need. Ben said he would pick me up."

"Did he?"

"Vittoria, put that eyebrow down."

"Why?" she laughed.

"Because he is only driving me home because John is on a date, nothing else."

"Oh, so you are gonna be home alone?"

"I… that's him"June said when a car stopped next to them. "Goodnight, Vittoria."

"Goodnight, my girl. Enjoy" she winked.

"Why is Vittoria smiling like that?" Ben asked when June got into his car.

"Nothing, ignore her" she replied. "Hello, by the way."

"Hello, Maxwell" he smiled. "Congratulations on tonight's win."

"Thank you. But just on the win?"

"Did anything else happen?" Ben teased her.

"You are such an idiot."

"I'm very proud of you, June" he said, caressing her cheek. "That was a fantastic goal."

"Thank you" she smiled. "But I kind of miss your stupid facts."

"You don't like soft Chilly?" he asked, arching an eyebrow.

"Well…"

"Ok, then. Here is a fact: You could have scored more goals. You played for 75 minutes, Maxwell. You missed too many chances and should have ended the game with at least another goal."

"That's more like it" she smiled before moving forward and kissing him.

"You also ended the game too tired. Your fitness is really bad" he smirked.

"I just came back from a serious injury, Chilwell" she said against his lips.

"Not enough" he whispered before they started kissing again, only being interrupted when June yawned.

"See? Too tired" Ben laughed. "Let's get you home."

"Ok."

"But wait, before I forget. I got you something."

"To celebrate how bad I was today?"

"Exactly" he chuckled, opening the car's glove box.

"Ben!" June laughed.

"We must keep our traditions" he smiled.

"Do you keep a huge box of kinder eggs at your house or something?"

"Maybe. But it is very well hidden, so don't try to look for it."

"Ok" she laughed again. "Thank you very much, Ben. I love it."

"And I… fuck!" he jumped when someone honked behind them.

"That's Vittoria" June said, rolling her eyes.

"Perfect timing" Ben murmured. "Anyway, let's get you home" he said before starting  the car. 

Though maybe Vittoria's interruption hadn't been that bad, because he had almost told June that he loved her. And that may have not been the right moment to say it. Or the best place. And the least thing he wanted was for her to freak out. Again.

He was sure of his feelings for her, and according to Mason, she felt the same for him. But what if they weren't on the same page just yet? What if Mason was wrong and she didn't love him the way he did? What if…

"Chilwell!" June said, snapping her fingers in front of him.

"What?"

"Where were you?" she laughed. 

"I… nevermind."

"I guess you didn't hear my question."

"I did not, no. Sorry" he apologized.

"I was asking you if I can put this here."

"What is that?" Ben asked, looking at what June was holding.

"Some kind of ornament. I think. It was the egg's surprise."

"Oh…"

"Can I put it here on the rearview mirror? That way you will always remember me" she smiled.

"Of course you can" Ben smiled back.

"Gre…at" June yawned.

"And let's get you home before you fall asleep" he chuckled, this time finally managing to leave the carpark.