#anyway would love to be able to do sums in my head one day! for now i'm starting from the bottom
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Khan Academy, my friend, please teach me geometry again
#you'd be surprised how little i remember from math class. you'd be really surprised#one of my clearest memories is crying furiously because i couldn't remember the eight times table in primary school#anyway would love to be able to do sums in my head one day! for now i'm starting from the bottom#songbird again
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bakugo and reader meeting again after a long time like maybe katsu has been away on a mission and he just misses us so much 🥹
anon this is literally such an adorable request!! This has been sitting in my drafts for the longest time cus i could never rlly figure out what i wanted to do with this, but as soon as i got the inspo i got to it !! im so so sososuuupperr sorry for making you wait so long and if you’re still sticking around, I LUB YOU !! anyways, i tried honoring this lovely sweet request as best i could, if you’re reading, i truly hope you enjoy (and all of you ofc!!) <33
fem reader, jus pure fluffy fluff ! katsuki n reader watch selling sunsets bc my mom does lmfaoo this ones for you momma, kissing, biting (lol will i ever stop), lemme know if i missed sum else !
katsuki regrets planning this surprise.
it’s been one month. exactly 31 days since he’s last seen you. one month he had to survive off of late night phone calls and good morning messages.
katsuki had slowly but surely started climbing up the ranks as a hero ever since he’d gone independent and this mission was a huge steppingstone to victory.
except it involved him going abroad for a month.
you’d congratulated him when he’d told you. you hugged him hard and offered him your brightest sunshine smile, you’d made him dance around your little living room with you, celebrating his ‘rise to stardom’ as you’d called it and he remembers chuckling about it. you’d even gone out of your way and made his favorite to celebrate. but now katsuki understand you were probably doing that so as not to worry him.
he's known you for a long while and he knows you know he can tell when you’re lying, so he was sure you were happy for him. (you can’t fake anything from him and especially not the way you smile, he’s committed that to memory). and you truly looked happy for him, but he knows youwell enough to know that you were also devastated to find out he was leaving for so long. he’d seen the way your eyes widened and your shoulders dropped. but knowing you, you probably powered through it so as not to make him worry.
so stupid. you’re stupid. and he misses you so much.
despite you being in different time zones you make it work. he made sure to be updated daily and called you every time it was time for you to go to bed to make sure you got some well needed sleep and not staying up late mindlessly scrolling through your feed.
you send him pictures of everything happening throughout your day and you’d hound him about his, asking him if he’d eaten well and if he’d beat up any bad guys. and no matter how minuscule his actions were you’d always praise him. as somewhat childish as he knew it was katsuki still walked with his head up high for the rest of the day. if it was to impress you and make you proud, he’d be on the clock 24/7. but, knowing you, you’d get mad at him for overworking himself.
he misses you so much.
he’s on the plane. making his way back home to you a day before he’d told you he would be, his surprise. you’d been so excited, your squeals ringing through the phone, katsuki just couldn’t wipe the smile of his face and goddamnit he tried.
“ou, i can’t wait ! i missed you sooo much, katsu !” you chirped, he couldn’t wait to hear your voice in real life again instead of through his phone.
“yeah, missed you too sweets” he hums, packing up the last of his stuff.
“you better be ready cus when you get back, m’not gonna let you go for a whole month.” you tease, giggling. katsuki huffs out a laugh, looking down at his luggage ready to go as he’d fully finished packing up while you were on the phone.
“uhuh~?” he muses “better be ready for me when i get back. yer not goin’ anywhere either. no bathroom breaks when we're cuddling.”
“ew,” you snort “what am i supposed to do if i have to pee ?”
“that sounds like a you problem, sweetheart.”
you laugh and laugh and katsuki smiles, he couldn’t wait to be able to hear and see it again. expect not one phone call away, like he’d told you he always would be when you’d accompanied him to the airport all teary eyed, but in real life.
except now he’s starting to regret not just coming home on time.
don’t get him wrong, the sooner he gets to you the better. he’d meant it when he told you he wouldn’t let you go and as somewhat embarrassing as it is to him that he had gotten so clingy, being away from you for so long really did a number on him. distance makes the heart grow fonder his ass, he was more than fond of you when he was laying next to you every night instead of all alone in his hotel bed.
but right now he’s way too antsy. he wants to tell you about how he’ll be home soon to hear you squeal and giggle, but he sucks it up in favor of surprising you.
it’ll be worth it. at least that’s what he tried to convince himself when he finished packing up. and on his way to the airport. and on the plane..
who even thought of this stupid surprise idea anyway ?!
he can’t sit still. he has to stop himself from tapping his foot against the floor and shuffling around in his seat. the guy in front of him keeps reclining his seat back but it doesn’t bother him that much, because all he needs is to remember your smile and remember he’s coming home to you, and he feels his nerves settle. recliner-seat-guy be damned.
it’s pitch black by the time he’s off the plane and finally back home. when he checks his phone he sees it’s 2:09 am and you’re no doubt dead asleep by now, he smiles at his phone screen when he sees you smiling back at him.
his limbs suddenly feel heavier the higher the numbers show on the screen inside the elevator to his floor. his body buzzes with excitement but for some reason he can’t help feeling nervous. katsuki knows it’s stupid because you tell him every day how much you miss him and how excited you are to see him. all he wants right now is to see you.
he fumbles around a bit when he fits his keys into the door to walk into your tiny shared apartment and when he finally walks back inside, katsuki is reminded why he does this. why he’s been gone for exactly 31 days.
he kicks his shoes off quietly and sees yours left right by the door like they always are. like he always wants them to be. he wants to come home to your shoes by the door and to you smiling at him brightly and greeting him, or beckoning him over to the couch because you’ve been waiting all day to watch your favorite show with him. (he’s forbidden you from watching any episode of selling sunsets without him, the last time you did he got cranky at you for a good 2 hours.)
katsuki sneaks over to your room, socked feet padding over to the door quietly cracking it open. he’d managed to convince you to move in with him a few months ago, claiming it’d lower costs and yapping about how you practically lived here anyway. it was barely anything to get used to, it felt natural, like this was everything his life was leading up to. but he wants to give you everything you deserve and this cramped little apartment is definitely not it.
he wants to give you a cosy little house, or a penthouse or even a fucking mansion if that was what you wanted, as long as he could be there with you he didn’t care. he’d do whatever he could to get you everything you dreamed of at the flick of a wrist. and that’s why, as annoying and lonely as it was to be without you for so long, he’d pushed through.
katsuki needs to save people, and he wants to. but everything he does, he does with you in a little corner of his mind.
you’re fast asleep like he’d expected, katsuki huffs out a laugh, brushing at your cheek with his finger. his heart almost explodes when you try to lean into the faint touch and he can’t help it anymore. he sits down by your side and kisses your cheek. once, two times, three times and a little one on your nose. if he wasn’t feeling all mushy he’d be an asshole and bite you, but you look so cute he’ll put that off for now.
your nose scrunches up and your eyebrows furrow at the wet kiss onto your skin, you instinctively go to rub at your face with a whine, katsuki chuckles to himself when you open your eyes and the lack of distance between you both meaning your quite literally face to face with him.
“katsu..?” you mumble sleepily “ ‘m i dreamin’ ?”
katsuki chuckles, eyes soft “glad to know ya dream about me, but nah, this isn't a dream.”
you blink sleepily, and katsuki recognize those bright eyes he so loves gleaming the more you wake up “katsuki !” you squeal, wrapping your arms around him and pulling him straight against your collarbone, since he was practically nose to nose with you before he knocks against your chin but you both don’t care.
katsuki crawls into bed and wraps his arms around you tightly, snickering into your neck and you into his hair. you squeeze and squeeze him so hard he thinks you’ll suffocate him but he couldn’t care less, squeezing you like he’s trying to mold you to him.
you breathe him in and he flips you both over with you giggling uncontrollably. you topple over and land straight into his chest. you lift your head up with stars in your eyes like he’d hung up the moon for you and katsuki smirks back softly. because he would. he’d hang up the moon and the stars and more.
all for you.
“you’re back !” you chirp, kissing all over his face. katsuki feels his cheeks hurt, this is the hardest and longest he’d smiled in a month.
“how’d you figure that one out ?” you roll your eyes at his sarcastic remark, blowing lip bubbles against his cheeks as punishment. he playfully pushes your face away from him and you laugh.
“i thought you weren’t coming back until tomorrow..” you quickly reach over to your nightstand to check your phone then throw it back down.
“it is tomorrow.” katsuki quips, already getting back to being a smart ass, you roll your eyes but you can’t wipe off the happy look on your face.
“you know what i mean, asshole” you jokingly narrow your eyes at his smug face and press a finger against his cheek “later tomorrow i mean. was gonna surprise you and you….out-surprised, me” you pout at your ruined plans.
he turns his face so he can sink his teeth into your pointer finger and you quietly squeal in disapproval, he smirks “was gonna, but couldn’t wait anymore. needed to see you.” he pulls you closer to run his nose against your pulse point “felt like i was gonna go fucking crazy if i stayed with those other bastards for a second longer.”
you giggle, placing your hands against his shoulders as he kisses up and down your shoulder and neck haphazardly “ don’t be mean.” you scold.
he lifts his head up to raise a brow at you, hands running up and down your sides “you mean to tell me you wanted me to stay away? didn’t miss me ?” he jokes, squeezing your hips harshly.
“of course i did. missed you so much i felt my heart would tear up sometimes..” you smiles sadly, running your fingers through his blond strands, he frowns "but i'm glad you're back now."
"yeah, and m'not leaving again for a damn long while." he squeezes you so hard he lifts you up in his lap a little bit and a surprised noise leak out of you. he lifts his head up from your chest to smirk at you in challenge "you're gonna have to get used to me and my big mouth all over again."
your heart squeezes, you feel like it'll bursts from happiness and katsuki wonders if he' supposed to feel this happy, if it's okay to be this content with one person. but only for a moment, because he's greedy, so so greedy for you. and he doesn't care if it's wrong because he gets to make you happy, to make you smile and laugh, to have you.
and katsuki does everything for you, so he gives himself to you without a second thought.
you hum, placing your hands against his soft cheeks to press your lips to his "got a month worth of your big mouth i need to catch up on." you whisper before finally closing the distance. you both immediately sigh in relief at the contact, being able to feel each other like this again. you smile into the kiss and katsuki thinks he's never felt more at peace.
after a month, exactly 31 days, katsuki's finally back.
bonus :
"hey." katsuki ask, you snuggle into his side and hum.
"did you watch any episodes of selling sunsets without me ?"
you stiffen.
"n-noooo..." the sheets shuffle and crinkle when katsuki looks down at you. you shrink into yourself.
"maybe one or two.." you squeak out meekly. immediately he's flipping you over and pouncing on you.
"fuckin' traitor." he growls.
"i'm sorry i couldn't help myself !" you wheeze when he starts tickling your sides, kicking at the sheets "it's been a month !" you screech trying to catch your breath.
"yeah i know that !" he exclaims, ignoring the way you're thrashing around as he mercilessly tickles you.
"i'm soooorryy !!"
#bakugou katsuki x reader#bakugo fluff#bakugou imagine#katsuki bakugou x reader#bakugou x reader#katsuki bakugo x reader#katsuki x reader#bakugou katuski x reader#bakugou fluff#katsuki x y/n#katsuki x you#bakugo x you#bakugo x female reader#katsuki bakugo fluff#bakugou drabble#bakugou x you#bakugo x y/n#bakugo x reader
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LARRY CRUSH HCS
(In short, Larry having a crush on you and Lawrie being a victim /jk)
Autor's note: Every day I'm closer to getting Larry and Lawrie in Brawl Stars🗣️🗣️(Yeah uuh I still don't get them in Brawl Stars 😭) And now that I think about it, how the hell do you say Lawrie's name wth
Important: Here the reader will have they/them pronouns
LARRY
• So I say it in my dating hcs of Larry BUUUUUT here I will say it again, so I have the little hc that when he feels strong emotions (also Lawrie) the siren on his head turns on and sounds so good luck enduring the sound of his siren like 90% of the time you're with him
• Changing the subject, he's talking non-stop about you to Lawrie and sometimes R-T.
• He probably won't even realize he has a crush on you until like a week later
Red text: Lawrie
Orange text: Larry
---
"and then they said-"
"Larry."
"yeah?"
"You've been talking about them all morning"
"yeah!"
"...😐"
"...😃"
"Do you have a crush on-"
"WHAT? NOOOooo...."
"...😐"
"...🙂"
"...😐"
"...😧"
"OH MY GOD I HAVE A CRUSH ON THEM-"
---
• At first he would say that he only sees you as a friend and when he realizes that he is in love with you, he will have a short circuit.
• He's planning how to confess to you and Lawrie will be his test subject although uuh let's say Lawrie doesn't help at all.
---
"ok just act like them!"
"ok but was it necessary to wear this outfit?"
"It's to get into the atmosphere!"
"Ok, if you say so"
"ahem, S/O I want to-"
"LAWRIE"
"Yeah?"
"could you at least try, it seems like you want to leave the place as soon as possible"
"Larry my face is like this"
"oh right-"
---
• after like the seventh attempt he was able to at least calm his siren so it doesn't ruin anything
• BUT THAT WILL BE FOR ANOTHER HC👻👻 (I clearly did not forget that this was crush hcs and not confess hcs)
• But anyway, he's talking with Lawrie about how much he likes you because he's the only one who can handle that (or at least a little more than other people-)
• Sometimes when you talk to him, he takes a few seconds to respond so every time you talk to him you will see Larry just staring at you smiling (If he wasn't with that permanent smile he'd probably be like this: 😐)
• He is a gentleman with you, although if you give him the slightest compliment his siren shines like the sun /hj
• To sum this up, Lawrie will be a victim of Larry talking non-stop about you
I feel like this is kind of ooc but uuuh here you have more content of this cute fella
#brawl stars#brawl stars x reader#larry brawl stars#brawl stars larry#brawl stars larry x reader#larry x reader
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T E X T .
ㅤᯓᡣ𐭩 𝖪𝖨𝖬 𝖬𝖨𝖭𝖢𝖧𝖤𝖮𝖫 𝗑 𝖠𝖥𝖠𝖡!𝖱𝖾𝖺𝖽𝖾𝗋
CHILDHOOD FRIEND COMPLEX
๋࣭⭑ֶֶֶָָָ֢֢֢𖹭 drabble ~ . (793 words)
sum. mincheol knew you preferred texting than talking at that moment
ㅤㅤlike kim mincheol? check out other mincheol fic .
ㅤ⪩⪨ m.list
it was another day of lectures and you were exhausted. after droning and barely paying attention to all of the lectures, you head straight to the place where you often met up with him.
mincheol was already there, sitting on the bench and scrolling through his phone with his usual bored expression.
you took the opportunity to admire him from afar.
he is a pretty guy, after all. not that you would want to say it out loud, but you cannot deny it.
yawning, you made a beeline to mincheol and slumped onto the bench beside him. the man barely reacted, his eyes flicking to you, noticing your state.
he let out a dry chuckle, able to guess what made you incredibly exhausted, “what time did you sleep?” mincheol asked with a grunt when you rest your head on his arm.
you gave him no response, staring at nothing. mincheol immediately could tell you were not in the mood to talk. he did not mind. you were a quiet person anyway.
an arm was thrown around your shoulder.
you did not react, knowing it was mincheol trying to make you extra comfortable. with him draping his arm over your shoulder, he brought you closer to his side as he went on his phone nonchalantly.
suddenly, you got a notification on your phone. you blink with surprise. usually no one messages you unless it is your parents or—
mincheol.
your eyes blink at the set username of the sender of the text message, 'blonde rat✌️'. tapping on the text, you read it in your head.
blonde rat ✌️
what time did u sleep?
mincheol typed the question he had previously asked, knowing you were more comfortable talking about it through text than vocally.
your heart fluttered.
mincheol had always respected this part of you.
though he is someone who preferred face-to-face conversations and talking it out, he set aside his preference to bend over to yours.
you, who very much preferred talking through text. mostly when your social battery was out after lectures.
his attentiveness made you flustered, shy even.
mincheol's actions constantly made you feel seen and loved. with your likes and dislikes often being listened and never forgotten by him.
you liked it when he paid attention to the little things about you.
shaking your head, you pushed away your thoughts to respond to him.
you
5am
you could hear a surprise grunt from mincheol. daringly, you glanced at him, meeting his bothered expression as he grumbled. he went back to his phone, which prompted you to do the same with yours.
blonde rat ✌️
what were u doin
you
last minute assignment 😕
you heard a disappointment sigh from mincheol. both of your eyes met, and he gave your cheek a quick tug. you half-heartedly glared at him before going back to the phone.
you
rat
blonde rat ✌️
no u
mincheol snickered at the exchange, ruffling your hair. you gasped when he ruined your hair. you tug his hair semi-aggresively, causing him to yelped in surprise.
you two glared at each other for a while until mincheol went back to his phone. he typed out with frustration.
blonde rat ✌️
u rat
you
you started it
blonde rat ✌️
i didnt pull ur hair
you glanced at him and shrugged, sticking my tongue out. mincheol huffed out of frustration, but his eyes had a glint of adoration behind them. he opted to flick your forehead before going back to his phone.
blonde rat ✌️
dinner is on me
your eyes flicked to your phone when his message was sent. after reading it, your eyes crinkled with glee. he wanted to cheer you up. this was the thing he did just to make you smile.
hence, you turn your head to him to give a big smile, before quietly muttering to him, “... thank you,” mincheol gave a grin back, settling his hand on top of your head.
“no problem,” with a cool answer, his hand your head for a moment, then he pulled your head to his shoulder.
you suddenly yawned. he pulled out his phone again to type.
blonde rat ✌️
take a nap for a while
ill wake u up when theyre here
he showed his phone to you, letting you read. you nodded. the thought of sleeping made you yawn again. slowly, you closed your eyes to doze off, getting comfy when you wrapped your arms around his arm.
mincheol's eyes flicked to you, watching you sleep. his hand rested on the top of your head, absentmindedly stroking your head.
when he confirmed you fell asleep, he pressed his lips onto your forehead, giving you a light peck. he pulled away, a tiny blush crept to his ears.
he leaned his head on yours, sighing again.
・❥・consider supporting me in ko-fi !!
#⌞୨ৎ⌝ . fics#childhood friend complex#manhwa x reader#kim mincheol x reader#mincheol x reader#i didnt rlly like how this fic went but eh#livelovelaughmincheol#fluff
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I haven’t been able to get this ask out of my head, and I’m kind of obsessed with the whole idea, so I decided to write a little bit for it! I’m terrible with writing multi-chapter fics, so I’ll probably just keep writing snippets and one shots from this universe. Anyway, I hope you enjoy!
~
You were just about to escape down into the manhole when you heard someone behind you say your name. Fear spread throughout your whole body, freezing you in place. Damn it! You’d been caught, and that meant that the entire plan was probably ruined. Why had you not run faster?
A hand grabbed onto your shoulder, and you felt yourself being spun around. Your eyes widened when you saw who had caught you - it wasn’t a police officer as you had expected, but rather Mr. Fickelgruber. You felt relieved for a moment, but your heart rate quickly spiked again. Oh, this was even worse than being caught by the police! Not only was Fickelgruber a member of the Chocolate Cartel - and therefore an enemy - but you’d noticed the way he looked at you… not like he wanted to destroy you, but almost like he wanted something else. Something sinister.
“There you are, my dear,” Fickelgruber said with a sly smile. He withdrew his hand from your shoulder, studying your facial expression. “No need to look so anxious, darling. I am not going to harm you.”
“M-Mr. Fickelgruber… what are you doing here?” you asked, your voice annoyingly shaky. You wanted to sound tougher than that, but you couldn’t pretend you weren’t terrified, regardless of his assurances that he wouldn’t hurt you.
“I came to talk to you,” he told you, stepping a little closer to you. You were forced to step back, leaving you pressed up against the hard, brick wal of the alleyway. “About that debt of yours. You owe quite a large sum to Mrs. Scrubbit, don’t you? Such a large sum that I’m sure you’ll never be able to find the money to pay her what she is due.”
Of course you knew that. You didn’t need to be reminded. You’d been in the service of Mrs. Scrubbit since you were a young girl - even younger than Noodle was now. When you were born, your family was quite well off. You were loved, cared for, you always had food to eat and a nice bed to sleep in. But then one day, you were told that your parents had died. No one ever told you exactly what had happened to them, just that they were gone and they were never coming back. You were supposed to go into the care of some relatives, who would also take care of your inheritance until you came of age… but rather than care for you, they stole your inheritance and dumped you with Mrs. Scrubbit, who you were told was your ‘new guardian’. You were forced to sign a contract… and then put to work in the laundry. You’d long given up hope of ever escaping.
You were silent for a long moment, before the quiet was broken by Mr. Fickelgruber’s voice once again. “Oh, have I struck a nerve, my dear? I do apologise. I didn’t mean to upset you, I simply wanted to ensure that we were on the same page.” You weren’t sure whether you believed him when he said that he didn’t intend to hurt your feelings.
“What about my debt?” you asked, averting your eyes from his face. The way he stared at you was making you nervous. “I already know I’m going to spend the rest of my life in that laundry. I gave up believing I’d find a way out years ago.”
Fickelgruber tutted. “Oh, but what if I told you there was a way for you to get out? And not just you, but all of your friends as well.” Your gaze met his again, and your eyes went wide. “I see that I’ve caught your attention now,” he said with a smirk, sounding utterly pleased with himself.
“Really? All of us could get out?” For the first time in a long time, you felt hope for the future. It was a strange sensation that you almost didn’t recognise, and for a moment, it was as if all of your troubles had melted away. But a great deal of your hope was replaced with dread when you heard Fickelgruber speak again.
“On one condition.” Ah, you should have known. There was no way he was going to offer you a way out without expecting anything in return. He was a businessman after all, and that meant he would want to make a deal.
“I don’t have anything you would want.” You felt your heart drop. Salvation had been so close, only to be ripped away from you mere moments later.
“On the contrary, my dear. You have something that I would like very much.” Fickelgruber’s hand came up to gently brush against your cheek, and your breath hitched in your throat. Where was he going with this? "You see, I have found myself feeling rather… lonely, as of late. But I’m sure you understand that a man in my position cannot look just anywhere for companionship.
You didn’t know what to say. You’d had absolutely no idea what Fickelgruber was going to say, and never would you have guessed he was going to seriously suggest you marry him in exchange for your freedom and that of your friends. Momentarily speechless, you stared at Fickelgruber blankly, like you were waiting for him to laugh or tell you he was joking. But he simply stared back, and after about a minute, it finally sunk in that he was serious.
"W-what?" you stammered, completely lost for words.
"You heard me, darling," Fickelgruber said with a smirk, not seeming at all deterred by your baffled reaction. "I want you to be my wife. All of your debts will be payed, and you will live in luxury for the rest of your days. Doesn’t that sound nice?" His hand cupped your cheek, keeping you from looking away from him. Your face grew warm, and you felt a little bit light headed.
"Why would you want to marry me? I’m no one special, I just work in a laundry…"
"Oh, but we both know that isn’t who you always were, don’t we?” Your eyes widened in shock. How could he possibly know…? "I know where you came from, dear. The poor little orphan girl, losing her parents, and then having her inheritance ripped from her by her cruel family. You aren’t like your friends. You’re special. You deserve better than to be slaving away in some filthy laundry. You deserve to wear fine clothes, eat good food…" Fickelgruber’s voice trailed off, but he continued to stare right into your eyes. "You deserve to be cared for, and I can give you that."
What were you to do? You hated working for Mrs. Scrubbit. You were always tired and sore, and dirty… the promise of nice food and new clothes, not to mention a warm bath and a comfortable bed to sleep in… well, it was tempting. When you were a little girl, before you’d given up hope of escaping, you always dreamed of a handsome prince swooping in to save you - just like in the stories your parents read to you before they passed. Mr. Fickelgruber wasn’t exactly a prince - though you had to admit he was handsome - but he was offering you a way out. And not just for you, but for your friends as well…
“So if I say yes, all of the others will be free. You promise?” you asked cautiously, your eyes trained on his face - not that he was giving you much choice to do otherwise - trying to determine whether he was telling you the truth or not.
“Of course, my dear. Simply say the word, and I will send the money straight to Mrs. Scrubbit.” Though you couldn’t be completely sure, it seemed to you that Fickelgruber was telling the truth. Did he really care for you that much that he would pay such exorbitant fees, just to take you as his wife? The thought of someone desiring you so much… it made your stomach flutter. He truly was offering you a good deal…
"Yes, Mr. Fickelgruber. I… I will marry you."
#felix fickelgruber x reader#fickelgruber x reader#wonka x reader#wonka 2023 x reader#mari’s stuff#fickelgruber’s wife au#(that’s a temporary name/tag until I come up with a snappier name for it lol)
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4. Taste Like Nicotine
★ pairings: aki hayakawa x fem reader
★ ❝ Go back to Himeno. ❞ ❝ No. That's not what you want. ❞
★ c.w.: suggestive themes, drinking (more content warnings and tags)
★ a/n: HELLO AGAIN MY POOKIE DOOKIES!! IM BACK AGAIN. bc i have nothing better to do atm and i wanted to give yall a lil sum sum before i moved away to uni. please excuse the pacing of this chapter -- this fanfic was supposed to be a oneshot and uh... now its 160 pages in google docs LMFAOOA.. things get spicy in this chapterrr! so yeah anyway, you know the drill, keep me entertained -- keep your funny little comments coming, I absolutely love reading them. You guys motivate me to keep going! Love yall
★ w.c.;4.1k
shameless ; chapter index
THE OFFICE WAS QUIET, the hum of fluorescent lights and the occasional rustling of papers the only sounds that broke the silence. You were alone, finishing up some last-minute paperwork after hours. The mission had gone surprisingly well—no casualties, a rare feat in your line of work. The team had even managed to kill a large Devil containing a piece of Gun Devil Flesh, a significant victory. Yet, instead of joining the others to celebrate, you had chosen to stay behind. Partly to avoid any awkward encounters with Himeno, but mostly because you felt restless, unable to shake off the events of the past few days.
As you finished up the last of your reports, you glanced at the new message on your phone.
HIMENO| you didn't come tonight.
Typing...
YOU
| I didn't think you'd wanna see me after the stunt I pulled.
HIMENO| I dont, but I wanted u to know that everyone is talking abt u
YOU
| ??
| wym
HIMENO
| your shadow didn't come tonight, either.
Typing...
YOU| look, himeno, ive actually been wanting to talk to you about that
| would you be able to meet up and talk it out?
HIMENO| id rather not honestly.
| ur a grown woman and i cant stop u from doing what u want
| but just know that people in pb. safety talk
| dont mess up a relationship with a perfectly good man for aki
| u should leave him for someone who can actually give him what he needs
YOU| I understand that I've hurt you, Himeno, and I'm sorry
| I have no intentions of being with Aki.
HIMENO| good
| dont get him mixed up in ur fucked up marriage
| he doesnt deserve that.
You sighed, pocketing your phone. There were certain battles you simply couldn't win. This would undoubtedly be one of them.
It was late, and you knew you should head home. You gathered your things and made your way down the dimly lit hallways, your footsteps echoing in the emptiness.
As you passed the breakroom, you heard voices. One familiar voice, more specifically.
You slowed your pace, not wanting to intrude but curious enough to catch a snippet of the conversation. The door was slightly ajar, and you could see two figures inside.
"You look desperate, dude," the unknown person said, barely audible. "It's not attractive."
"I'm becoming ridiculous," Captain Hayakawa said, his voice low and strained. "I'm losing hope."
"Hope of what? Convincing a married woman to break her vows?" the other person retorted, a hint of incredulity in his tone.
Are they talking about me? You asked. You knew the answer. You simply did not want to confront it.
Hayakawa sighed. "I thought she would call me by now," he admitted, the vulnerability in his voice making your stomach churn uncomfortably. "I just... there was something there."
There was a pause, then the other person sighed, his voice softening. "God, you are ridiculous." After a moment, he added, almost reluctantly, "Shit, sorry, man. I know you like her."
"No, you're right," He replied, a note of resignation following his words. "She doesn't want to speak to me. I'm driving myself crazy waiting for someone who's never gonna call."
You felt a knot tighten in your stomach, guilt and confusion swirling together. You hadn't intended to eavesdrop, but now you couldn't just walk away without feeling a pang of something—regret, perhaps? The slip of paper with his number, still in your possession, weighed heavily in your mind. You had been avoiding the situation, avoiding him, and now it was clear how much it had affected him.
Aki's words echoed in your ears as you stood frozen in the hallway.
He was right; you hadn't called him. You hadn't even acknowledged the note, too caught up in your own turmoil and guilt to consider his feelings. Now, hearing him speak so openly, you felt a rush of emotions—sympathy, guilt, confusion. There had been a moment between you, an undeniable spark, but you had chosen to ignore it, to pretend it didn't exist.
When would it all come crashing down – your efforts? This whole situation?
The conversation in the breakroom continued, but you couldn't listen any longer. You turned away, your heart pounding. As you made your way to the exit, you couldn't help but replay Aki's words in your mind.
He had been waiting for you, hoping you would reach out, and now he was losing hope. Fuck.
He had been waiting for me.
The idea thrilled you, for some strange reason. Maybe because you hadn't felt desired like this in years – it made your head spin. But another part of you was terrified—of what it might mean, of the complications it would bring, of the impact on your marriage.
You couldn't help yourself. You did what you always did. You ran away from him.
You knew you couldn't avoid him forever, but for now, you needed time to think. .
7:45 PM
Typing...
Hey. |
Typing...
Hello, |
Typing...
How are you? |
Typing...
Hey. They're taking me out for drinks tn as a sendoff party. I think you should be there.
SENT.
YOU | Hey. They're taking me out for drinks tn as a sendoff party.
I think you should be there.
| At the Sip-n-savor in downtown Tokyo
Seen 8:00 PM .
The night went on without a flaw. The atmosphere was infectious, and you had been trying to let loose, drink in hand, as you chatted and danced with the others. But as the night wore on, a sense of unease settled in. Maybe it was the drinks, maybe it was the memories of the overheard conversation in the breakroom, or maybe it was the subtle disappointment that someone hadn't shown up.
Excusing yourself, you made your way to the bathroom. The mirror reflected your flushed cheeks and slightly smudged makeup. You sighed, turning on the faucet and splashing some water on your face. As you washed your hands, you found yourself thinking about Aki.
Despite everything, a depraved part of you had hoped to see him tonight. You had been both relieved and disappointed when he hadn't shown up—relieved because it meant avoiding an awkward conversation, disappointed because you had been... well, actually looking forward to seeing him.
As you touched up your makeup, you couldn't help but reflect on your own conflicted feelings. You were married, committed, and yet, Aki had stirred something in you that you simply couldn't stand to ignore. It was confusing, disorienting. You weren't sure what you felt more strongly: guilt for being drawn to him or frustration that you couldn't just let it go.
"Ugh," You groaned, pressing your forehead against the sink. "'M g'nna be sick."
Feeling a bit lightheaded from the drinks, you decided to step outside for some fresh air. You left the bathroom and – completely drunk – maneuvered through the crowds to the nearest door.
The cool night breeze was a welcome relief against your warm skin, and you leaned against the balcony railing, taking deep breaths. The city lights twinkled below, and you watched them in a daze, trying to steady your thoughts.
That's when you saw him.
Aki was just entering the party, his sharp suit and dark hair making him stand out immediately. You felt your heart skip a beat. Then another. He was killing you.
He came, you thought, a strange mix of emotions flooding you. Relief, excitement, and that persistent undercurrent of guilt all tangled together.
He spotted you almost immediately and made his way over. As he approached, you couldn't help but think how painfully gorgeous he looked, the dim lighting casting a soft glow on his features. In that moment, he seemed almost like a knight in shining armor, a figure out of place in the lively, chaotic setting of the bar.
"Hey," he greeted, his voice smooth and warm, a balm to your nerves.
"Hey," you replied, trying to keep your voice steady despite the fluttering in your chest.
"What are you doing out here?" he asked, a slight concern in his tone. "You're not cold?"
He always seemed to be worried about you and the weather. Still, the chill felt nice against your hot skin, oddly enough.
I missed you, you didn't say. You didn't even think about it. You knew that in a day you would be back on the train and all of this would just be a bad dream, anyway.
You shook your head, a small smile playing on your lips. "No, I just needed some air. It's a bit stuffy in there."
Aki didn't respond immediately, and when you turned your head up to look at him, his expression was unreadable. The noise from inside the bar seemed distant, the world narrowing down to just the two of you in that moment. You felt a tug in your chest, a pull towards him that you couldn't explain, couldn't deny.
"Did you pregame the bar, or something?" You laughed quietly. It felt nice, being able to pretend nothing had ever happened between the two of you and just... enjoy each other's company. "You smell like beer."
"I was having a few drinks with my roommate before you texted me," He answered. Then, looking out onto the street, he added, "He told me I shouldn't come tonight. Said you're driving me crazy."
"So, why are you here, then?" You asked.
He looked at you. "I think you know why I'm here."
There was a brief silence, comfortable yet charged with the unspoken. You glanced at him, noticing the way his eyes lingered on you, soft but searching. It was the same look he had given you in the seminar, the museum, everywhere else, and it stirred something deep inside you.
You hated the way he made you feel.
"Can I buy you a drink?" He asked you. His voice was as deep and rich as ever, and you had about half a mind to take him up on the offer.
You shivered. You knew it wasn't from the cold air. It was him – the smell of him, his cologne, the distinct scent of nicotine that let you know he had just finished smoking a cigarette. It was an aroma so unique to him that you had grown to like it.
You were looking at his lips before you knew it, giving way to a craving you couldn't explain, "I'll try a cigarette, if you have any."
He smiled softly, reaching into his pocket and flipping open a carton of cigarettes and a lighter. He placed a cancer stick between your lips, and you felt a part of you die a little. He struck the wheel of the lighter, bringing the cigarette to life.
You coughed so hard that you nearly hacked up a lung. It had been years since your last cigarette.
Hayakawa stepped behind you, cupping a hand around your elbow, sliding it up your arm, your wrist, your fingers before he plucked the cigarette from your digits.
"First time?" He asked, warm voice hot against your neck.
"Wanted to give it a try," You shrugged. You didn't know what, exactly, had gotten into you. It seemed that with every sip of liquor you took lately, you crept closer and closer back to your old self. The sort of liquid courage that made people make very bad decisions. "Sorry. I'm a little," You waved your hands around yourself, trying to gesture 'drunk' without actually saying it.
"How brave of you," He murmured, pulling a hit from your cigarette and exhaling. He was the picture of sin – face flushed with alcohol, messy bangs, pink lips wrapped around a cancer stick. He was so pretty it hurt.
"I'll try it again when I'm sober," You offered.
"When?" He asked, breathing smoke out into the air. "Where?"
As persistent as always, you thought. Still, you didn't necessarily mind the attention anymore. You told yourself that it didn't matter – you would be out of here soon anyway, and everything would be far behind you before you knew it.
"Why is it that every time I'm inebriated... God tests me by throwing you in my way?" You laughed, Truly, you wished you had considered the implications of your words a little more before you had said them. "Just as I thought your manners had improved since the party. You behaved badly, then. You know that? Very badly," you hiccuped. "You should be ashamed of yourself, throwing– hic–throwing yourself at a married woman like that."
He didn't acknowledge your drunken ramblings, and he also didn't deny the fact that he had been doing exactly that – throwing himself at a married woman.
"Hardly my fault," He breathed out. "I just can't seem to resist you."
"Don't worry," You replied, eyeing him up dubiously as he pulled another hit from what was left of your cigarette. "I'm leaving tomorrow. Won't have to worry about resisting me after that."
"I know," He answered back. "Selfishly enough, I spent the last few hours wishing your train got delayed one more day, or something like that," He exhaled, then snuffed his cigarette out on the balcony, "Still, I'm glad I could see you before you went home."
"I wish I could say the same about you," You replied before you could stop the words from coming out.
He poked his tongue through the inside of his cheek, retorting, "You're gonna sit here and act like you didn't invite me? Like your eyes didn't light up like a child when you saw me pull up?" He turned around, commanding even more of your attention, standing at least a foot and a half taller than you. "You wanted me to come tonight."
It was true. That's the worst part. Everything he said was the truth.
"So that I could say goodbye," You said with remarkable finality, "I'm leaving after this."
You hadn't originally planned on leaving so soon, of course, but you wanted to get the hell out of here before you made another bad decision.
"Already?" He asked.
"You're the one who ran late," You replied. "This ends tonight. I'm going to say bye to everyone else, then I'll be gone."
With that being said, you made your way back to the door. You would go inside, bid everyone farewell, collect your belongings, and then–
He called your name before you could go back inside. You froze in place.
"Am I misreading the signals?" He asked.
You sighed, turning around one last time to clear the air, "This has to stop, Aki. You make me feel like... like I'm guilty of something."
He implored you, "What do you want me to do?"
"Go back to Himeno," You answered, a biting undertone seeping through your words. You were undeniably bitter about the whole situation, and under any other circumstances, you would have tried to be a good sport, but...
Himeno's words were a heavy weight on your heart.
'Don't mess up a relationship with a perfectly good man for Aki.'
'You should leave him for someone who can actually give him what he needs."
You could never be what Aki wanted. He wanted all of you – not just a week of you, clearly. You were married, and you couldn't let all of that go over a guy you'd been toeing the line with for what seemed like ages.
He was a young man. The fact of the matter was that you were a grown woman. A married one.
"She's a sweet, kind woman," You continued. You felt like you were going to be sick just being near him. Unknowingly, tears began to prickle at the corners of your eyes. "Go back and beg her to forgive you. Go be with someone who wants to be with you. Who can be with you."
"No," He answered simply. There was an intensity in his eyes that frightened you, like he would die without you, as he continued, "That's not what you want. I think we both know that. I refused a mission in Hiroshima to stay here with you. I planned to let go of another one in Beijing," He swallowed, "I can change my mind, and you'll never see me again."
"If you have any consideration for me," Your voice was a shuddering whisper, like someone could walk out any minute and hear the two of you going back and forth. "Any semblance– a shrivel of compassion, you'll give me back my peace."
He shook his head, "I can't. You know I can't. You've consumed every inch of my peace, every inch of my mind. How can I give you your peace?"
Fair point.
You had nothing to say to him. So, silently, your vision blurred with tears, you glared at him. Glared and frowned like that would make you believe he was the sole contributor to this issue. Then, again, you turned on your heel and went for the door. You entered the bar quickly.
He followed not too long after you, "I'll go to Beijing, then."
"No." You said. Your teary-eyed fury caught the eyes of more than a few confused bar patrons. "I don't want you to go."
Everyone was looking at you. Seriously, everyone. Your old coworkers, the bartenders, everybody.
You swallowed down your pride, bowing down before them all. "Good night, everyone," You said. You plucked your purse and your jacket off of the barstool. "Thank you for everything. I'm leaving."
Ignoring the confused looks and hushed whispers from the patrons, you exited the bar, your mind a whirlwind of emotions. The rain had started to fall, a soft drizzle quickly turning into a steady downpour. You barely noticed, too wrapped up in the turmoil inside your head. The cold, wet sensation of the rain soaked through your clothes, but you couldn't bring yourself to care. You just needed to get away, to clear your mind.
But of course, Aki followed after you. You could hear him calling your name, his voice barely audible over the sound of the rain. You quickened your pace, almost running, your heels splashing through puddles as you made your way down the block. His footsteps pounded behind you, matching your speed. You couldn't escape him, couldn't outrun him.
Finally, he caught up to you, grabbing your arm to stop you. "Wait, can we please talk?" he pleaded, his voice breathless and desperate.
You turned to face him, rain pouring down around you both. His hair was plastered to his forehead, his suit jacket soaked through. The intensity in his eyes matched the storm, a fierce determination that made your heart ache. You met his gaze begrudgingly, not wanting to deal with this, not wanting to deal with him.
"Have I really been imagining all of this?" He asked. He sounded broken. "Is it really all in my head? Tell me if it's a lie. Tell me to leave you alone. Tell me you mean it—all of it," he paused, taking a shuddering breath. "Or tell me the truth."
You swallowed hard, the weight of the situation crashing down on you. "I don't know how to feel, Aki," you finally admitted, your voice barely a whisper. "I'm trying to be good, but you just keep fucking—popping up everywhere. And you say these pretty things to me, and," You choked back a sob, struggling to find the right words. "I can't help myself around you."
"Running from your problems won't make me go away," he said, stepping forward to put his hands gently on your waist.
There was a long pause as you stood there in the rain, staring at each other. The world seemed to fade away, leaving only the two of you. The storm, the bar, everything else was just a blur. You were tired—tired of running, tired of the confusion, tired of pretending that everything was fine when it wasn't.
He added, "You can't run from your feelings."
This time, it was his eyes that dropped to your lips. His tongue darted out to dampen his own, and then his eyes flicked up to your face. When he spoke, his voice was huskier than before, as if it had been tainted by an emotion that hadn't been there before. Was it lust? Passion? Whatever it was, you wanted more of it.
Your eyes widened. Your mouth had run dry. You didn't know what to say. Even being like this right now -- as close as you were, -- was against your wedding vows. This was wrong, and you couldn't do that to your own husband.
Your own husband who loved you so dearly.
Your own husband who left you hanging so many nights on end.
Your own husband, who acted as if he couldn't care if you lived or died.
As if he had sensed your train of thought wandering, Aki placed two fingers beneath your chin, lifting your face up until he was the captor of all of your attention. Him and him alone. Not your husband, but him.
"I could treat you like a princess," His eyes wandered down to your lips again, but this time there was an unspoken hunger within them. "All you have to do is ask, and I'm yours. I already am."
And, God, what a fool you had been in uttering the words, "Don't toy with my emotions. You don't want me."
He paused, awaiting something, anything. His eyes pleaded with your own, luring you in with promises of pleasure and happiness. Gently, he grabbed your hand, placing it over his breast, right above his heart.
"I want you so badly it hurts," He breathed, "For a night, for a day, for a week..." Aki closed the gap between the two of you – brought your faces closer together. Closer, until you could feel the warmth of his calm breath fanning out against your cheek. Closer, until he uttered, "As long as you'll let me have you."
"Aki, I can't-...." You paused. Yet, still, you never moved. Your body betrayed your words, dilated pupils and trembling hands giving way to your internal dilemma. "This is wrong. You know I can't do this."
You were being a hypocrite. You knew you were. One spare glance down at the placement of your hands on his chest -- one over his breast and one looped around his tie -- and you knew he could tell you were only putting up a front.
"I know," he murmured softly, words practically dying beneath the volume of the rain, "But I can't stop thinking about you."
You folded. Your eyes dropped down to his lips one last time, and that's when you knew he had already won.
Fuck it.
"Fuck you," you muttered, feeling a surge of reckless abandon.
Without thinking, you reached out and pulled him towards you, crashing your lips against his in a desperate, frenzied kiss. It was messy and wet, your tears mixing with the rain, your hands tangling in his hair as his arms finally wrapped around you.
The kiss was filled with all the pent-up emotions, the longing, the frustration, the desire. It was passion, it was anger – it was tongue and teeth and lips smearing your lipstick over the lower half of your face. It was two black holes finally colliding after circling around each other far too long.
"I can't make sense of it. I want... you," you sighed, pulling away, voice trembling, "I don't know what any of this means anymore. I don't know what to think."
"Then don't," he whispered, his breath warm against your lips. He tasted like cigarette smoke, beer and mint gum – a flavor so utterly addicting that you couldn't seem to get enough of it. "Don't think. Let me take you back to your room."
You hesitated, the reality of the situation hitting you. This was crossing a line, a line you couldn't uncross. But as you looked into his eyes, saw the same turmoil reflected back at you, you felt your resolve crumble.
You were tired of pretending.
"Okay," you whispered, your voice barely audible over the rain. It was a final, resigned acceptance, the last nail in the coffin of your restraint.
You were tired of running from the inevitable.
a/n: dont hate me. LMFAOAOAOOAOA. i had to! i absolutely loved writing this chapter and i loved writing tipsy obsessed aki. i headcannon that he's a touchy needy bf and no one can tell me otherwise. i think you all know what happens next. im not sayin nothin tho. hehe. ANYWAYYYYY LMK WHAT YALL THOUGHTTTTT i look forward to hearing it!!! lmk what yall wanna see in the next few chapters/over the course of the story. and if youve already watched anna karenina (or read, in which case... how...) shhhhhh youve seen nothing. muah! x
credits: UNKOWN ATM. I found the cover pic on pinterest unfortch. If you know the artist, please let me know, so I can credit them properly for their work!!! This is NOT MY BEAUTIFUL DRAWINGGG. I obviously do not own csm or anything related to it. please do not reproduce, copy, or translate my works anywhere. dont fk w me im a bruja.
also: come find me on my wattpad if u wanna interact more!
taglist: @mitsuyeahhh , @sleepysnk , @enneadec , @noaabean , @em1e , @drakensdarling , @bertholdts--butt , @satanlovesusall666 , @mitsuwuyaa , @noctifule , @scaraphobia , @ask-the-insect-hashira , @lovingranchturkeyweasel , @bontensbabygirl , @slvdsjjk , @novacrystalli , @hanmastattoos , @kodzuksn , @hqtiny , @ohmaiscool15 , @redlittlequeen , @leivane , @goldeneagles-posts , @yeahblahlame , @no-oneelsebutnsu , @cookiesandcreammy , @cawwn , @the-haitani-baton , @littlelovebug98 , @armani78 , @mindurownbussines , @kokos-property , @violetmatcha , @hp-simp505 , @acethebrave , @mitsuyeahhh , @sleepysnk , @enneadec , @noaabean , @em1e , @drakensdarling , @bertholdts--butt , @satanlovesusall666 , @mitsuwuyaa , @noctifule , @scaraphobia , @ask-the-insect-hashira , @lovingranchturkeyweasel , @bontensbabygirl , @slvdsjjk , @novacrystalli , @hanmastattoos , @kodzuksn , @hqtiny , @ohmaiscool15 , @redlittlequeen , @leivane , @goldeneagles-posts , @yeahblahlame , @no-oneelsebutnsu , @cookiesandcreammy , @cawwn , @the-haitani-baton , @littlelovebug98 , @armani78 , @mindurownbussines , @kokos-property , @violetmatcha , @hp-simp505
wanna join the taglist? | shameless ; chapter index
#god i love drunk aki#my life is yours#notiddygxthgf ˚ ༘♡ ⋆。˚#shameless!#aki hayakawa#hayakawa aki#aki hayakawa x reader#hayakawa aki x reader#aki x reader#csm x reader#chainsaw man x reader#denji x reader#eventual smut
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UMMMMM, THIS IS SO SKRUNKLY BYE
idk how to make it pretty i’m sorry :( also i don’t care too it’s 2AM over here TEEHEE
Many way, NSFW Cove Holden Headcanons!!
MDNI, ofc you silly??2!2, Talk of switch Cove, sub leaning switch Cove, Soft dom Cove, COVE WHIMPERS AND MOANSSS IM TELLING YOU UGH?!2!2 Not much mention of reader but everything should gender neutral! he’s so pretty ok i’m done gn
Starting off strong, in my nasty ol’ mind, Cove is indefinitely a switch!! Common knowledge, maybe but I also think he wouldn’t be like a sub leaning switch or a dom leaning switch, he’s very 50/50!
BUT, if he did lean towards either or, I feel when you first start getting intimate with one another since he’s inexperienced, he’d definitely be sub leaning!! He lets you take the lead especially since he’d be a little nervous, what if he ends up hurting you? You teach him how your body works, where to touch you and what feels good.
The first time you touch him, the man practically MELTS in your arms and you CANNOT tell me Cove doesn’t whimper. It’s a simple handjob, but he’s just SOOOOO sensitive, he can’t help himself! He can’t stop himself from bucking into your hand as you work his cock with your soft hands, barely able to form proper sentences as he whimpers in your ear how good it feels, rambling on about how much he loves you.
SHUT UP HE GIVES LIKE DAZED SMILES AND KISSES CAUSE IT FEELS SO GOOD MY BRAIN IS SO BIG!,())23?
Sorry anyway, it gets better when you suck him off for the first time. Baby would be so nervous, but when you wrap your lips around him for the first time, he’s gone. In absolute euphoria. Imagining he’s sitting on the edge of the bed and your between his legs, his hips tremble as he tries to keep himself from rocking into your mouth but it’s just too much for him, he wouldn’t know what to do with his hands so he either has a death grip on the sheets or a hand on the back of your head.
STOPPP, HE BITES HIS LIP TO STOP HIMSELF FROM MOANING SO LOUD FUCKKKK??$);)$’
I’ll do like first time putting it in another day CAUSE I HAVE TOO MUCH TO SAYYY??/)2!
I’m getting carried away sorry, but as you guys get older and he’s more experienced thus is where I introduce to you: Soft Dom! Cove, LIKE TELL ME THAT DOESN'T SOUND SO GOOD?)2))2
In another universe he’s a pleasure dom but SHUTURPvhwbqbw!!)
This man will literally neglect his own needs in the bedroom because he wants you to feel good before anything else. He loves to see the kind of faces you make, and the way you cling to him when he’s making you feel so good, reminiscent of how you treated him when he was inexperienced.
While I do agree with the Cove wanting you to sit on his face HC, HEAR ME OUT!! He instead has you standing up while he’s on his knees for you, strong arms keeping you on shaky legs, as you cum in his mouth over and over again, unsure if you want to pull him in or push him away because it’s just too much. This man will have you on your feet until your legs start to give out or until you tell him to stop!!
Not gonna get too deep into positions but LET ME TELL YOU SUM!!!
This man absolutely LOVES when you ride him like PLEASE!! He either has his hands on your hips helping you bounce in it when or wrapped around your waist, fucking up into you.
AND STAR OF THE SHOW, PLEASEEE HE LOVES TO CARRY YOU WHILE YOU FUCK!!1!2? Like it takes a while for him to realize how much he loves it, but once he does he cant stop?2!2 He loves how he can see all your beautiful expressions while he makes you take his cock, either holding you up himself or has you pressed against a wall he, pressing his warm body against your own.
IMAGINE HIM HOLDING YOU UP WITH ONLY ONE ARM THATS FUCKING CRAZY!!2)23
I’m tired but one last hc its not nsfw but i love giant cove, I love how tall he’s made out to be i’d purposely be such a pick me like “omg Cove your so tall!!🥺” EWWWW SORRY BYE?)$$)(
#trixiedust#cove holden x reader smut#cove holden smut#cove holden#cove holden x reader#our life: beginnings & always#our life#cove holden x mc#cove holden x you#cove holden x jamie last#gender neautral reader#ol cove#ol:ba
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The Dream - Chapter Four.
You guys! Thank you so much for all of your engagement on this! It especially means a lot to me since us content creators are suffering a distinct lack of visibility at present. Next update day is Thursday, you know what to do in order to make that happen, and on with the show we go :)
Previous chapters - Prologue One Two Three
Tag list - In the comments, please DM to be added/removed (note: those not engaging will be automatically removed from the tag list, FYI)
Words - 3,327
Warnings - 18+ content throughout, minors DNI!
“It was weird last night.”
Frankie and Jaime had wondered whether they’d be consulted about yet another dream as they sat enjoying a few drinks at their local. Not that either was tired of hearing about them, they found it quite fascinating, but Frankie especially noticed how it was starting to wear on her friend a little bit.
“Oh?” Jaime asked, swirling her gin and elderflower around in the large glass with a stirrer, the ice cubes tinkling. “How so?”
“Well,” she began, lifting her beer to her lips and taking a swig, missing her mouth a little and ending up with a foamy splash on her jeans. “God damnit!”
“Calamity Joe strikes again!” Frankie announced with mirth. If her bestie had a penchant for anything, it was spilling. Or making a mess with condiments. Or just general bad luck where being the agent of calamites was concerned.
“I could murder Aaron for making that name a thing,” Keri huffed lightly, dabbing her jeans with a tissue. “Anyway, back to my dream. It was all pretty standard to begin with. We met and hugged each other as usual and kissed too. Then, though, and this is the real fucking ‘WTF?’ of it, he asked why I was invading every dream he was having!”
The girls' heads swivelled to look at one another with wide eyes, staring back at their friend, Frankie circling her hand in indication that she should continue, and quickly. “And?”
“I told him that no, it was him appearing in my dreams, and I was the one who was real, not him. Then, this black wall came up and divided the room between us, and I shouted if he could still hear me, but nothing. I turned around, and there’s this old, blind woman sitting in the corner, and she calls me over and asks me if I sought answers, which of course I told her that I did. She then started writing something on a piece of paper, which turned out to be the words, and I quote, ‘find him in the lounge.’ Then she clapped her hands in front of my face, and I woke up. It was weird, to see another person in the dream apart from him.”
“She wasn’t a person, you weren’t visited by some mystic old lady,” Jaime stated. “The old woman was a representation over you being blind in all of this, not being able to see why you’re dreaming of him.” Her insight there was eye opening, Keri cocking her head curiously. Frankie, however...
“I’m sorry,” she snorted, immediately falling into hissed laughter. “Just imagine it if you’d gone downstairs, and there he is like ‘sup, baby? Here I am, literal man of your dreams!’ Oh god!” Keri might’ve not been so entertained, if Frankie’s put-on guy voice hadn’t been quite so comical, or if she hadn’t summed up what she’d so sillily wondered for a very fleeting second upon waking. “I’m sorry, I love you, I just...”
“It’s a damned good job I love you too, you and your bro voice!” She paused to join in with the laughter, Jaime as well, although she scolded Frankie softly, slapping her thigh. “So, thoughts?”
“I don’t have a clue, beets, I’m sorry,” she began, composing her laughter.
Jaime turned to her, her face light with mild incredulity. “Erm, are you overlooking the main take from this dream, babe?” She waited to see if her girlfriend would cotton on, Frankie reaching for her beer, raising her eyebrows expectantly as she took a swig, licking foam from her lip. “They both think the other is invading their dreams, which spells one thing loud and clear. You’re sharing dreams with someone else! This guy, he’s a real person.”
“Oh no, that can’t be true!” Keri was quick to dismiss, waving her hand before picking up her beer, taking a couple of sips. “I mean... no! That’s just too spooky for comfort. He’s just a guy in my dream, that’s it. It’s making my head hurt, trying to discover if there’s a deeper meaning there.”
Her friends happily let her move the conversation on, sensing that she needed it, their talk quickly revolving around Frankie’s grandparents, and their upcoming fiftieth wedding anniversary celebration, and the fact that for the first time in three years, Frankie would be seeing her estranged parents again.
After finding out their only daughter was a lesbian, they had completely turned their back on her, kicking her out of the house in disgust and refusing to pay her college fees until she got over what they considered to be a phase. Gay conversion therapy through their church was even discussed, Frankie opposing the idea greatly, pleading with them to listen to her that it wasn’t a big deal. She simply didn’t desire men, and never had.
Toby and Henrietta Scarvo were both born again Christians, and through their new church’s teachings, frowned upon homosexuality, something that had disgusted Toby's very liberal leaning parents greatly. They were only just about on speaking terms again after the huge rift that had pulled the family apart three years previously, when Frankie had finally been brave enough to come out to her family.
She had been so fortunate to have her grandparents stand firmly in her corner, both professing not to give a damn about which gender she preferred to date, as long as she was happy, also stumping up the money for her to continue at college and also contribute a little towards her half of the bills and rent at the apartment she shared with Jaime, whom they absolutely adored. Kathy and Homer Scarvo were truly, truly lovely people.
“So, I went shopping with gramps and we bought matching suits to wear!” Frankie spoke, who had been intent on wearing a dress, until her grampie Homer had spotted the suits and suggested they should twin on their outfits. As much as Frankie did love a nice dress, she could never resist a nicely tailored suit.
“Oh, that’s so cute!” Keri gushed, clasping her hands together as she beamed, imagining it.
“I told him I’m still wearing heels, though, I gotta make it a little bit girly. We’re doing rainbow pocket squares, too!” In tribute to their beloved granddaughter, along with old glory on the Scarvo’s front lawn, a Pride flag flew. Her grandmother even proudly enjoyed wearing a hoodie with the slogan ‘My granddaughter digs chicks. Deal with it’ emblazoned across the front. “Oh man, look at all those bikes, wow!”
Turning her head, Keri looked up at the TV, where Frankie’s interest had been pulled to some special news report about outlaws, a bunch of them rolling into Vegas, it looked like, a line of motorcycles parked up outside of a casino on the strip, the shiny paintwork glinting in the bright sunlight.
“We don’t really get those guys around here,” she commented, continuing to view the footage and listen to the statistics over crime and gun violence the men featured were allegedly responsible for. “I think I remember seeing some Hell’s Angels roll through once or twice.”
“Yeah, and then there’s the Sons of Anarchy up in Salt Lake City, but those guys aren’t them.” Frankie narrowed her eyes, looking at the kutte one of them was wearing. “Mayans MC. Hmm, never heard of those dudes before.”
The camera panned out along the long line of bikes again, the next image a close up of one of the men, who noticed he was being filmed, lifting his sunglasses with a look of defiance, raising his middle finger to the camera. It was when his face was revealed properly that Keri almost fainted.
Find him in the lounge.
“Oh Jesus Christ.” Her heart almost stopped beating. “It’s him!”
“What?” Frankie spoke, picking up a handful of spicy peanuts from the bowl before her and throwing them into her mouth. “Who’s him?”
“The, the guy in my dream, he was just on the screen! He was the one who flipped the camera off, it’s him!” Her lungs tightened, her stomach turning over as she shot out of her seat, feeling her guts churn. Frankie was off the couch and racing after her in an instant, finding Keri outside the bar, throwing up into the ferns that lined the side of the path.
“Hey, hey, I got you, it’s alright,” she soothed, gathering her hair away from her face, rubbing her back.
“It isn’t alright, though! I mean, what the fuck?” she cried, heaving again, more of her lunch coming up.
“Shhh, breathe, take your time,” she advised, her hand still circling her upper back soothingly. “Are you definitely sure it was him?”
She took a breath, straightening, trying to calm herself down. Inside, she was utterly tumultuous. “Yes, yes it was him. I mean, I think it was, I...” Her entire body shook, her heart racing. “Why is this happening to me? How can it be happening, this is insane! Fucking insane! I feel like I’m going crazy, and I’m questioning myself now. Was it him, or did I just see someone who looked vaguely like him, and my brain is so adamant to find an answer that it made me believe that it was?”
“Okay, well we can discover that pretty easily. Give it a few hours and the news report will be uploaded to the CNN site, so we can look later on, pause it, and you’ll have more than a few fleeting seconds to study his face.” With that, they formed a plan, Frankie leading her back inside and taking her to the restroom so she could get herself straightened up, rinsing her mouth and cleaning off a few flecks of vomit from her jeans, going back out and ordering a shot of tequila. It likely wasn’t the best thing to pour into an empty stomach, but she needed something to steady her nerves.
The plan was to continue with their day before grabbing a takeout and then heading back to Frankie and Jaime’s place, all sitting down to eat while Frankie continued to refresh the CNN page on her laptop, waiting for the report to be uploaded.
“Alright, here we go.” Those words made Keri regret eating quite so much of her food prior to viewing, Jaime making her laugh softly after vanishing into the kitchen, returning with a mop bucket.
“Just in case.” She put it down at her side, Keri lifting the laptop from the table and resting it to her legs, pressing play, beginning to search through the video until she got to the part she recognised. As soon as he appeared, she pressed pause. Her friends waited expectantly.
“Yep,” she confirmed, letting it play again, waiting until he removed his shades and then pausing again. “It’s definitely him.”
“Oh, this is crazy,” Frankie spoke, releasing a long breath she’d been holding, combing her fingers through her hair. “I mean, how, how can this truly be real? Any ideas?” Turning to her girlfriend, she watched Jaime take the laptop from a freaked-out Keri, closing the browser and shutting it.
“Destiny? Perhaps you’re meant to meet him?” she spoke, Keri’s eyes widening. She still couldn’t get her head around it, her brain not really knowing how to co-operate with this new information she’d learned, let alone begin to process it. Her friends saw it clearly, deciding that the best thing they could do was at least try to take her mind off it. Movies were watched, alcohol was poured, and cuddles were given, Keri eventually falling asleep, only to be roused by Frankie picking her up so Jaime could sort her a bed for the night upon the pull-out couch.
After bundling her in blankets and the spare comforter, they went to bed, hoping that maybe if she dreamed of him that night, she might be able to put her lucid dreaming techniques to good use and perhaps get some answers. As it turned out, she did.
The meadow she found herself in was vast, rolling hills stretching the horizon, the sky a vibrant shade of blue. “I want this dream to last, I want this dream to last. I do not want to wake up, I do not want to wake up. I want to ask him questions, I want to ask him questions.” She repeated those desires like a mantra, beginning to walk, turning as she did, birds chirping in her ears, the sun warm on her skin. One last turn back to where she’d first arrived and suddenly, there he was.
“Hey you.” He bit his lip, dropping his head for a moment before turning away, running his hands through his hair. “I've been too scared to fall asleep, the last dream I had with you in it freaked me the fuck out. You're real, aren't you Keri?” Moving to her, he rested his hands on her shoulders, watching her nod.
“I am, yeah. And so are you, aren’t you?” He nodded. “I saw you on the TV, and I threw up.” Instantly, she kicked herself.
“I’ve had women react worse.” Immediately, she laughed. “I found your Instagram. When that wall went up between us in the last dream, this old woman appeared in the corner, and she wrote your Insta profile name down on a piece of paper. Well, I didn’t know what it was when she did it, but I Googled it and yep, there you were.”
She grasped his open shirt, tugging at the black fabric, her head resting against his chest. “This is insane, literally insane,” she began, the dream so vividly real, she could even feel the ribbed material of the black vest he wore beneath his shirt, the metal of the pendant around his neck cool against her skin.
“I saw the same thing, an old woman who wrote something for me, too. She wrote the words find him in the lounge, and then I did. The Lounge is the name of my local bar, and that’s where I was when this news report about outlaw biker clubs came on, and I saw you lifting your middle finger at the cameraman who was filming you in Vegas.”
Angel snorted softly, shaking his head. “Shit, I wondered why that motherfucker was pointing a camera at me.”
“Is this really real? I mean, is it? I still don’t trust it, that my mind isn’t making you up, that I’m not going crazy!” she cried, feeling something tugging at her.
“Keri, calm down, or you’ll wake yourself up,” he advised, holding onto her as she began to slip away from him. “Shit, don’t go!” That was the last she heard before she awoke, growling with frustration.
Opening his eyes, Angel sighed, looking over to the nightstand at his phone, picking it up. He called up Instagram, locating her profile and clicking follow, opening up a message.
“Okay, what the fuck do I say to her? What if it's all in my head and this chick doesn't have a clue about any of it? Jesus, why me?” he thought, looking at the blank message he was about to send to her. Finally, his boldness kicked in, navigating him into tapping out a message and hitting send.
Keri had just returned from making herself a chamomile tea when she saw her phone illuminate through the darkness, setting the mug down on the coffee table as she picked it up, seeing she had an Instagram notification.
Angel_Reyes85 started following you.
She gulped, seeing that she also had a message request. Reaching back to the table, she stole one of Frankie’s cigarettes, lighting up and moving the ashtray to her lap, also lighting up one of the big, three wick candles on the table for a little light too before getting comfortable, clicking on his profile. It was private, so she sent him a follow back, going back into her messages and finding one from him.
‘You aren’t going crazy.’
It really, really, really was him. There was the confirmation, as if she truly needed it, that she and this random man whom she’d never met before in her life were appearing one each other’s dreams night after night.
‘I really do feel like I am! This is so weird!’
Her heart hammered when she saw ‘seen’ appear beneath the message, clicking on his profile again to find he’d accepted her follow request. She looked through a few of his pictures, mainly of a large, green Harley, the same one she’d seen him standing next to on the news report, lots of other guys from his MC. She halted her viewing when the message icon displayed again.
‘It is! I’m still not sure if you being real makes it better or worse, you know. Have you ever heard of anything like this before, or experienced it with anyone else?’
Immediately, she began to type.
‘One of my friends is into all of this, and she told me that what’s happening isn’t inconceivable. She said that what we are having is something called a mutual dream, but that it's very rare to have them if you aren't close to the person who's in them with you. I just wish I knew why! Or why in every single dream I have, I end up kissing you! I feel embarrassed now!’
‘You shouldn’t, you’re a good kisser.’
She made a squealing noise at that Especially when a wink emoji followed.
‘And hella pretty. Seriously, your eyes. Woah!’
More squealing.
‘So, you mentioned vis-com on your stories. Tell me about that. I take it you’re at college?’
She calmed down, then, taking a quick puff on her cigarette before replying.
'Visual communications, basically its photography and film I'm studying. I wanna be a photographer when I finally grow up.’
‘I’d say from those amazing pictures of yours, you already are one. Seriously, those ones you took up in the mountains are awesome.’
She beamed at his compliment. Keri was very confident in her photographic abilities, but it always nice to hear praise.
‘Thank you so much! So, what is it that you do? Is being in an MC a full-time thing? I don’t really know much about it.’
She had to wait a few seconds before Angel messaged her back, with him wondering how to word it. Obviously, since his club had appeared on the news about what the media were coining a growing epidemic of MC-related violence and crime, she knew he wasn’t exactly on the straight and narrow, but still, he wouldn’t reveal anything in confirmation to someone he didn’t know.
‘Kinda. I work at a scrap metal yard though, owned by a couple of guys in the club. Mostly, I'm just a motorcycle enthusiast.’ From MC to MC the land over, it was the standard response.
‘You know, I did wonder if you were a model at one point, or a metal musician, back when I first saw you in my dreams. I was trying to work out where I’d seen you before, because you felt so familiar.’
His ego went through the roof at reading that.
‘A model, huh? Hmm. Flattery will get you everywhere, mamas.’
‘Well, you are gorgeous.’
“Oh god, was that lame?” she spoke aloud, cringing a little. Her mouth broke into a smile when he sent a grinning emoji.
‘Thanks, you are, too. So... tell me more about you, then. Unless you’d rather go back to sleep. What it is, 3am there?’
‘It is, but I don’t mind talking a little longer. If I did go back to sleep, you’d probably come find me in my dreams and talk to me there anyway, right?’
‘Maybe. Or I’d just kiss you some more, not gonna lie.’
She’d gone from not knowing who he was, to discovering he was real, to flirting with him, all in the space of a day. Life was strange for Keri Watkins in that moment, but she couldn’t deny, now she knew who Angel was, she began to allow herself to enjoy it.
#angel reyes#angel reyes fanfiction#angel reyes imagine#angel reyes smut#angel reyes x ofc#mayans mc#mayans mc fanfiction#mayans mc imagine#mayans mc smut#mayans mc fanfic#mayans mc fic
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A silly hc because I love this scene with seth and summer sm
Jason knows that the roof of Nico's cabin is damaged and he keeps saying he'll fix it but every time they are in Nico's cabin and he sees the sunlight entering through that hole and illuminating the almost total darkness of the dungeon that is Nico's cabin. But they always end up getting too distracted in each other's presence and Jason ends up forgetting
So one day there's a storm in CHB and Nico was out running some errands for Hades and the door is locked, and Jason knows it's raining inside. So since he's not afraid of lightning cuz, please, he's the son of Jupiter, but also without an umbrella or raincoat cuz he usually likes to get wet, Jason ends up picking the Spiderman mask he wore last halloween (it was his year choosing the costumes that he and Nico always wore matching >>very platonic<< and jason had chosen spiderman and deadpool) to protect his eyes so he would be able to see what he was doing. So he flies there with some materials but while he's still fixing the roof he slips and falls (very much likd the guy who passes out every two chapters), but the hem of his pants catches on the ceiling gutter and he's left hanging upside down unable to reach for his ankle and thinking that it's too short a fall for him to be able to control the winds before falling if the fabric gives way if he tries to reach it, but high enough to hurt his head AGAIN if he falls. And the rain doesn't stop and Jason calls to see if anyone hears but everyone is in their cabins protected from the storm. Then he sees through the window someone turn on the light in Nico's cabin and it has to be him, so Jason starts calling Nico's name. Nico goes outside and is stunned at first when he sees the scene.
"Jason, what the fuck are you doing?!"
"Oh thank gods you're back. I was trying to fix your roof but I fell and--"
"Did you come to fix my roof in this rain?" Nico goes to Jason to try to see what he can do to help.
"Yeah, you weren't home so it would rain a lot inside and ruin your stuff and I thought--"
Nico looks up and down at Jason hanging there in the middle of that storm. "Did you come here in this rain to fix my roof because I wasn't home and the water would ruin my stuff?"
Jason frowns a little under the mask. "Hm, that's exactly what I said. Anyway, help me out here please. We have to go inside to stop the water--"
But Nico starts to smile, unable to contain it. "And the Spider-Man mask was for...?"
Jason is only now realizing the icing on the cake of his embarrasseing state. "It was to protect my eyes from the water while I was working."
Nico looks at him for a second longer, taking in how stupidly adorable this is- which pretty much sums up Jason as a whole. So then Nico can't hold back the laugh that escapes him.
Jason blushes like never before, feeling pretty stupid right now. "Can you help me here? I can't--"
Nico sighs, stopping laughing, and leans closer. "Gods, you are my favorite person in the whole world, Jason Grace."
And Nico lifts Jason's mask a little, not thinking about how this is a moment he's waited and feared so much for so long, because even though he's been on the verge of this decision many times- never before has Nico been so sure he needed to kiss Jason before the moment passed and his insecurities about it returned.
And when Nico kisses Jason, the storm across Camp Half-Blood becomes clear with lightning exploding in the sky.
#ofc after that jason fell#but hey#he finally got nico to kiss him#so totally worth it#im such a simp for jasico spiderman kiss#either is this was with jason being stupid and adorable#or with jason flying and turning upside dowm#idc i just love it#jasico#thunderworld#jason grace#nico di angelo
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🕷 Redback Spider | EARTH-90605: Manila, Philippines, 1968.
It's a change of scenery, hm? Welcome to Manila. It's 1968, and it's as hot as you can imagine it to be in a tropical nation. Oh, yeah, no, don't expect yourself to be slick and sneaky with your arrival-Word can get around everywhere in a second! And within those seconds, you're already family.
"Anak, meron kang alikabok sa ulo mo, halika dito, aayusin ko lang your buhok mo."
(My child, you have dust on your head, come here, let me just fix your hair.)
"Ang ganda mo talaga!"
(You're so totally pretty!)
"Foreigner ka ba?"
(Are you a foreigner?)
"Gutom ka ba? Gusto mo ba ng Halo-halo?"
(Are you hungry? Would you like some Halo-halo?)
I love Halo-halo...Anyways, allow me to introduce myself! I am known as RB. I was bitten by an extraterrestrial Redback spider. His name is Kanan, and what makes him extraterrestrial is his Symbiote form he injected on the right side of my neck, hence his name. He bit me when I got caught in my own web, being cornered by my boss and his subordinates from a mafia I work for...
Let's rewind a bit...
I work as a sketch artist for the police department. Can't do much with the pay that I have, especially with my circumstances of being both a woman and of a lower class. my Tito(Uncle) Aaron, works as a bartender at a pretty okay saloon. Our pay is enough to allow us to sustain ourselves in this grand, lively city despite the state of our economy so, it works out. Thing is, my Papa, my grandfather, was KIA during WWII and left me and my uncle a large sum of money we keep for absolute emergencies. As far as we knew, we were the only ones who knew about his inheritance until a little later down the line when I'd get surrounded and pinned to a wall by men in suits in a dark alleyway. Cliche, I know, I told them that too. They introduced themselves as Papa's former subordinates who were left with distasteful lives because of Papa's business with them. Until this day, I have yet to find out what tainted my Papa from being someone other than a sweet military guy but they threatened to hit the nail on my own coffin and harm my Tito in addition if I declined their offer to not only provide my Papa's old documents but to become their hitman. Someone who could do their dirty work for them in order to take down other mafia rings and eventually rise to the top as millionaires.
...
So...I took the option to withdraw those threats. I joined the mafia as their new hitman, all while having to keep this all from my Tito. It was rough, I couldn't take anyone's life just like that, and that is where we left off. With Kanan, such a transformation as such into a Spider-Person was gorey and unsettling, to say the least.
Kanan told me not to worry about it. Not to worry about them.
And the next thing I remember was my vision blacking out and gaining my own conscious back to shaking my boss' hand surrounded by the pools of mixed blood around us.
I'm still a sketch artist, and I'm still a hitman. And I'm still the RB. Needless to say, I've grown desensitized to my double life. I've gotten to be a better hitman, but it's not something I'm proud of and it's never going to be something I will be proud of. And one day, I'm going to bring this entire mafia down with me.
I'm just glad I'm not alone.
And, well, you know the rest!
Thanks, Kanan.
AAAAA This was super fun to write! And I'm so excited now that my Spidersona is finished!! :,,] It was a tough process seeing as I had to do a lot of self-reflection within myself as I don't typically have a reason to study myself and how I'm structured. It was especially difficult before as I used to shy away from analyzing myself too much due to past insecurities so putting everything I have in a character and realizing how pretty she truly is makes me want to cry :,0 I can't change the way of how I look much, not like I can play Tetris with my bone structure LMAO but it feels really good to be able to put my insecurities off and make a character I now love a lot :,,]
Translations of Baybayin: "Kanan," "Grabe...," "RB"
#art#digital#drawing#ocs#oc#digital art#digital drawing#digitalart#Spidersona#spiderman across the spiderverse#spider oc#spider sona#spiderverse oc#spidersona art#atsp#spider verse#OC#OC art#OC artwork#OC dump#Persona#Filipino#Tagalog#Baybayin
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ok folks, inspired by This Post (thank you for inspiration and ideas, @agent-p-94/@generalized-incompetence!), i present to you:
brotzly fake dating couple's therapy au; in the form of tumblr messages/a campfire story/an unwitten fic rundown
me: the thing is, they'd PASS
within 10 minutes of knowing each other they'd get so PISSED OFF it'd fill up an entire therapy session
just "YOU NEVER SHUT UP" and "YOU NEVER LISTEN TO ME" and "I'VE NEVER MET A DUMBER PERSON" and "I'M SICK TO DEATH OF YOU CRITIQUING MY MUSIC TASTE" and "YOUR DRIVING SKILLS ARE GOING TO GET US KILLED I SWEAR TO GOD" nonstop rapid-fire with therapist barely able to squeeze a "gentlemen, please!" inbetween
and then they'd stumble out of the building and LAUGH, laugh so hard they'd be clinging to each other near falling to the ground, todd croaking that this is the best stress-release activity he'd done in YEARS, dirk clutching his stomach and crying and highlighting the best of todd insults
both would admit this is the BEST first date ever and schedule the next therapy session
every time they'd spend like 10-30 minutes getting to know each other better, and then full 45 just kvetching, sometimes just YELLING at the top of their lungs to their hearts' delight at the therapist office
agent: The best of Todd insults!!! Omg
They just argue nonstop anyway it's just a space to do that
me: and one day dirk would bring in rings, just plain metal ones (but no one has to know), justify that well, if this is a marriage ruse we might as well up our game, right? but he'd be weirdly skittish and self-conscious about it, like he's overstepping an invisible boundary; but todd would be *down* for it — he would be down for most of dirk's stupid bullshit, it's been so long since he's done any proper good shenanigans, since his life was even half this fun!
and then he'd try on the ring and laugh again because it *doesn't fit*, and dirk would get half-jokingly defensive that he didn't know his size!!, and todd would let him take the measuremnts (bc for what purpose would he know his own ring finger size), and dirk's breath would catch holy and uncomfortably
next time, dirk would get him a good, fitting ring, and it'd make weird things shift in his stomach
agent: OR it would be the RIGHT size, holistically
And he's like well I have to wear it now
And maybe they actually stumble upon something real in the middle of it - Dirk is going full monologue about the dishwasher and he says something and todd stops yelling back and looks unusually affected and is like wait...really? And then they just stare at each other for a minute and Todd is like ...I never knew that. And then they stare some more. And then the therapist is like ummm our time is up? I'm just gonna... Go? And then they're really quiet on the drive home but the next morning they have a new understanding
me: DIRK LETTING HIS TRAUMA PEEK THROUGH AND TODD ACCEPTING IT WHOLEHEARTEDLY
it's silent the whole ride, but just before he drops dirk off (dirk had been BANNED from the wheel since their first date/session) he goes "so, this..... [dryly, as not to disturb, sums up dirk's thing] it's real?"
dirk, usually so talkative, just helplessly shrugs, then shakes his head at himself, then somberly nods a few times, confirming that yes.
todd puts a hand on his knee and goes "dude. this is messed up. i'm so sorry."
dirk just nods some more, tearing up, because even though the words are simple, he's never heard anyone say them, never dared to share, and it hits him so deeply and painfully to be finally validated
he stumbles home, and cries for the whole evening, and feels lighter than usual afterwards
agent: The tragicomedy of falling in love with your own husband...........
me: i think for WORST results they agree it's just a fun platonic thing for shits and giggles before they meet up for the first time
and like, in the therapist's office they're this TERRIBLE couple who HATES each other, and outside of it they're just two guys being dudes, and romance, even fake, exists only in glimpses and doorways, and when the pit of longing opens, there's utterly nothing to stuff in it but stolen glances.
farah is the same therapist's normal patient with actual mental health issues she's trying to work through, and when they meet her in the waiting lobby for the first time they UTTERLY FAIL to convince her that their shtick is real, so they resort to *begging* her not to sell them out, and even though she's really on the fence about the whole thing and is unsure if it's morally okay to do, she gives in to dirk's Professional Puppy Eyes
after a while she gets unashamedly invested and demands they fill her in on the newest lies
maybe in one of dirk's bluffs/"attempts to hone the backstory" he invites himself to todd's apartment to better learn his habits and where he lacks in his homesteading
("well, when do i get to learn what chores do *you* fuck up?" todd asks playfully
"oh, just all of them!" dirk answers nonchalantly
in truth, he just doesn't want todd to see his barely lived-in, depressinly dirty short-term rented apartment. in the time dirk's been here, this city hasn't started feeling any more like a home.
in truth, dirk posted that stupid craigslist ad on his first week here, drunk and lonely and in mood for hijinks and out of his mind desperate for human connection; todd was actually looking for some simple one-off jobs to earn some quick buck, but couldn't resist a Stupid Idea when it dangled itself in his face)
todd gives him a quick tour, dirk half-heartedly criticizes the 3 dirty dishes in the sink and the mildly overflowing laundry hamper, and then for most of the evening they drink beer and play card games with todd's trusty ratty 10 years old deck that misses a jocker and a two of hearts (they decide to forgo the twos altogether) but overall is fine, dirk teaches him a couple of weird local games he'd picked up over the years, then tries to do card tricks but gets half of them wrong, they laugh a lot, todd makes grilled cheese, dirk says that if they ever feel the need to add a dash of appreciation into their sessions — just for some contrast and zest — then he'll admit that he *adores* todd's cooking, todd smiles bashfully and says man that's just some grilled cheese it's not that big of a deal
they pass out on the couch together, and dirk wakes up with a sore neck, sour mouth, and entangled limbs, and feels so at peace and right, and doesn't move, wishes for todd to sleep for longer, just so they could stay like this
then they find out todd doesnt have a spare toothbrush, so dirk has to make do with some gum while todd apologizes profusely
todd's got a shift in the late morning, so they do an awkward half-hug with back-patting, and dirk leaves
when dirk's getting himself a late breakfast at the corner store, he almost buys himself a toothbrush to keep in todd's apartment; then discards the thought; then buys it anyway, but tells himself it's a spare one for his own home, for when he'll need to throw the old one out. he never brings up the toothbrush thing around todd.
also he thinks it's a shame he couldn't brush his teeth, because then he could've kissed todd without worrying about bad breath; he discards that thought even quicker and farther
during one of the sessions, todd accidentaly makes a comment that actually gets to dirk, that makes him feel self-conscious and inadequate and upset
after they've done for the day, dirk asks if this is how todd *really* feels about him?.. todd says no, of course not! all of this is in good fun, just a friendly yelling match. he'd never say *anything* with an actual intention to hurt dirk; now that dirk brought that comment up, todd's never going to repeat it
"you seem like a good guy, you know? i genuinely like you," todd says
dirk feels very very warm
and maybe they sometimes spend time after the sessions too, and sometimes even on free days, just hanging out, relaxed and having fun, enjoying the company
and maybe one day it goes a little too well, and dirk gets a little too brave, and admits to todd that he's started feeling some kind of romantic interest, and asks if he would maybe like an actual date some other time
todd snaps at him.
tells dirk that he's only seen glimpses of todd, that these joke-sessions and little hang-outs show almost nothing of the real him, that he's a *mess*, that dirk doesn't know what he's getting himself into and should back off, that todd's a horrible person who's not worth the trouble
dirk tries to get to him, but todd gets even more defensive, even more closed off, pushes him away, makes that awful painful comment he'd promised he wouldn't say.
they don't show up for the next session.
dirk mops by the building on the scheduled day anyway, because he dislikes his routines disrupted when it's not him doing that, and because he's got nowhere to go, and because he secretly hopes todd will come around anyway (he doesn't.)
he meets farah after her actual session: she's had a Bad one today and is distraught, and dirk suggests they get hammered together. farah thinks it's an unhealthy coping mechanism, but after all of 15 seconds of deliberating she agrees
then she cries into his shoulder about her family and expectations and failed police exams and that she's a *failure* and will never get better, and he shakes her by the shoulders and near-yells that she's AMAZING, and fuck her family, and all cops are bastards anyway! she gets affronted and mentions her brothers and father, then realizes those people Are fucking bastards, then laughs and agrees with dirk and cries some more
dirk spills his entire conundrum, start to finish, only 5 useless tangents for the length of the whole thing which is not too bad of a ratio by his own measures, and farah tells him that todd's bullshit is Bullshit, capital B! if therapy taught her *anything* is that any person is capable of change ("you don't need to change yourself though," dirk pipes up; "YEAH, IM FUCKING PERFECT!" farah answers triumphantly), that this is just stupid excuses for excuses! (yeah!) and if dirk thinks that *farah*, with All her failures and fuck-ups, is not a lost cause (of course not!), then neither is todd! (damn, you're making a point!)
they swap some more personal stories, farah almost has a lesbian crisis in front of him but decides to throw up instead, and they leave the bar mostly in good spirits
dirk sleeps all of it off, but the next morning, even though Severely Hangover, he is no less determined.
he stakes out todd's apartment building (he did drop him off the first time; and even though he doesn't remember the adress for shit after all this time, he Luckes Out [after stubbornly cruising the general area for two hours straight])
and confronts him. tells todd that their friendship has been meaningful for dirk, no matter how little todd might think of it. (todd winces. he doesn't say it, but all of this was close to his heart too; he never meant to come off like he did, save for coming clean as an asshole; he *does* care about dirk, rather unreasonably much.) that dirk doesn't ask todd to give *him* a chance, but give *himself* a chance. that no person is irredeemable.
todd is eerily quiet. he invites dirk in, makes him some tea. sits silently at the table for a few minutes. and then, it all spills out: what he'd done to his band, to his *sister*, to himself; what a true actual hopeless horrible Asshole he is. he gets almost angry halfway through, voice rising, — either at dirk or at himself, it's not clear. dirk sits it all out. tells todd that is isn't the worst it could've been. todd begins to snap at him, but bites his mouth, and just buries his head in his arms, hiding. his head is so very heavy. dirk gives him a small solemn lecture about how past perfomance is not a predictor of future results, how it's never late to just *stop* being an asshole. how he's dirk's friend, how he's been kind to him, and dirk trusts him to continue to be kind, to build his life forward. ("*kind* to you? after i'd said that [hurtful thing] — the second time, *deliberately?" todd is bitter and baffled. "i forgive you for it. that's what friends do." dirk says like it's obvious). dirk places his trust in todd. todd struggles to process all that, he just lies on the table neither crying nor breathing; dirk talks to fill up the space, and to make good use of his trust. he tells todd all about his childhood trauma, in great, visceral detail, like he's pulling his guts out; he starts crying halfway through. todd hugs him really, really hard, and doesn’t let go for a while.
todd promises he'll come clean to amanda. dirk promises he'll start looking into therapy for his cptsd. they promise to each other they're friends, best friends.
they come in for the last fake-session with that therapist, just to tie a pretty bow on this whole thing: to tell them they're finally getting divorced, and will not require their services anymore. poor person breaks with an actual heavy sigh of *relief*.
dirk starts seeing a new therapist — not this one, thankfully; farah recommends him an old one she used to work with. she couldn't quite find a good rhythm with him, but she thinks he might be a nice match for dirk. he ends up being exactly that.
todd isn't yet ready for therapy, and dirk is accepting of that. amanda's not talking to him anymore, and he's *not* taking it in stride, but he's holding up as best as he can, and dirk holds his hand through it.
they do have an Actual Date with Romantic Intenstions — it goes remarkably well, even though they bicker for half the duration of it. it's all in good fun <3
they don't wear the rings anymore, but keep them as a memento; both feel weirdly sentimental about them. dirk does finally buy a new toothbrush for himself to keep in todd's apartment.
farah does end up having a lesbian crisis in front of her therapist, the one that todd and dirk have been torturing. poor soul.
#dghda#dirk gently's holistic detective agency (tv 2016)#dghda au#writing#vika's personal dghda tag#vikarambles#dirk gently#todd brotzman#brotzly#farah black#<- only a bit tho; but she's plot-important!#long post#I Guess#fake couple's therapy brotzly au
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Alright the humors worn out and now I'm gonna roast this anon entire manifesto before blocking them, TW under cut for lots of nastiness and mentions of torture and death threats and abuse, I shouldn't even give them this honor but honestly I want to be able to roast them forever and have something to point back too and also with my memory I'd start to question if this even happened and that's no fun!
"If you fully admitted that you ship abuse as a coping mechanism and DIDN'T glorify Ouma, didn't reblog shit about how "actually he and Gonta were totally good friends, even though Kokichi constantly abused him, drove him to despair and savored every moment of his execution". Kokichi is a subhuman monster and the only person in all fiction that ACTUALLY DESERVES to suffer through Gold Experience Requiem's infinite death loop. You are a disgusting piece of human garbage that fully deserves to die"
Incredibly funny of you to fucking put a jojo reference in you saying about how awful kokichi is, Dio is worse, I am shipping you with the anon who won't stop calling Kaito a rapist on one of my other blogs. Anyways he's a kiddo in a killing game with a murder total of like 2, he did bad things but, like, saying he's the worst character in all of fiction when making a jojo reference is fucking wild, Dio is right there!! Literally kicking dogs!!!!! Kokichi doesn't kick dogs and is thus an inherently better person
"Have you ever heard of a torture called scaphism? Here's the lovely description: "The king decreed that Mithridates should be put to death in boats; which execution is after the following manner: Taking two boats framed exactly to fit and answer each other, they lie down in one of them the malefactor that suffers, upon his back; then, covering it with the other, and so setting them together that the head, hands, and feet of him are left outside, and the rest of his body lies shut up within, they"
Wow you are so bad at actually explaining things within an ask, you could have summed this up in like 15 words, "its where they shut everything but your hands head and feet in a boat" get to the fucking POINT
"hey find his flesh devoured, and swarms of such noisome creatures preying upon and, as it were, growing to his inwards. In this way Mithridates, after suffering for seventeen days, at last expired." This is what you deserve. "Shou Tucker is totes a good father to Nina that loves her so so much and he TOTALLY HAD to turn her into a chimera because he had no other option" that's what you sound like. Kokichi is a worse person than fucking Junko, because at least Junko forced her classmates and"
God you took so many words to say "you should be eaten and suffer for 17 days" who caressss about the history oh my god im bored to TEARS. Also at least Kokichi's plan worked, Shou Tucker is the shittiest alchemist in the series. I'm also not even sure if this method would work, i would simple manage to get loose, i am built different mithridates.
What did this dude even do im curious now, PFF LOOKING IT UP YOU DIDN'T EVEN GET THE DETAILS RIGHT BITCH WHERE'S MY HONEY AND MILK, ITS NOT EVEN A REAL BOAT IT'S HOLLOW LOGS, there's no even real proof this torture even existed god you're bad at this you might as well shut me in an iron maiden , also the guy killed a guy i guess, I don't actually care, but anyway you wouldn't even do it right I'd be fine
"sister into a killing game BECAUSE SHE GENUINELY LOVED THEM and killing them and making them suffer was a way to bring herself as much despair as possible. Kokichi, however, is just a sadist that enjoys everyone's suffering and doesn't even feel despair when others die. Everything he does is for his own amusement, not for ANY altruistic motive. He PURPOSELY drove Gonta to despair just to see him suffer. He made him kill Miu just so he would see Gonta's despair when he's exposed and executed for"
Did she end the world because she loved them? did she have her sister murder an entire middle school out of love? Did she pluck a guys eye out of love and make him eat it out of love? Did she have the entire student council massacred out of love? Junko deserves better don't drag her into this, she wants to be seen as evil and despairing stop woobifying her it's hurting her. Kokichi's motive was survival, and even if you disagree with that, he says multiple times and in his final words how he was lying to himself to survive. However, even if that WASNT TRUE or it was ALL A LIE his death count is once again two whole people, Maki got two people killed out of sadism as well but I don't see you yelling about her. Even if he was the most evil person ever, he again, only got TWO PEOPLE KILLED, that's NOTHING. Even if he was a sadist who only wanted to torment and hurt people, he ain't the mastermind, and he didn't get to actually do a lot of tormenting. Everything you are saying about Kokichi, is just Junko, and you seem to love her. Hypocrite.
"for killing her. He ENJOYED EVERY SINGLE MOMENT of Gonta's suffering and anguish. Kokichi's crying for Gonta was so obviously fake it is sickening. And don't mention the DRS. They flattened Genocide Jack and Tenko's characters into "bYaKuYa!!!111" and "fUk MaLeS!!!!111" and portrayed Junko, Monaca and Kokichi as almost normal people and not the monsters they actually are in canon. So don't even talk to me like this somehow proves that Kokichi would be friends with Gonta outside the killing game."
Buddy who even brought up Danganronpa S? Wasn't me, they don't even have many interactions in DRS, everything I'm talking about here is straight from the base game don't worry. Also Monaca is like 10. You have got to get better at formatting this it's so hard to follow. Even if Kokichi enjoyed all that suffering, Mikan is right there, having her kills actually be about despair, and yet you only focus on Kokichi like this is a unique sin, curious.
"You deserve to rot in the garbage, eaten by maggots. You don't deserve to be treated as a human being, to have human rights. You are a piece of garbage. You deserve to have your bones shattered and left to rot in a garbage container.You are an abuse apologist and a victim blamer.Kokichi just used Gonta as a tool because Gonta's nonexistent social skills, his low self esteem and desire to do ANYTHING to be useful, to finally be able to help his friends made him a perfect target for Kokichi."
I am at MOST an abuse apologist by your logic as I have never once said Gonta deserved to die, just that Gonta made his choice and even afterwards of getting caught he didn't regret it. It's not abuse though, it never was abuse, abuse is a PATTERN of behavior, one incident, two if you count the meet and greet, is not enough to set that pattern in stone. Especially when Gonta already got his revenge for the meet and greet.
While Gonta was the perfect target, it's not abuse, that's not what abuse is. Kokichi flashed Gonta with the light and told him his plan, while he definitely was manipulative, that's not abuse. You're just spouting buzzwords at this point. Also incredibly funny to call ME the abuse apologists when YOU'RE sending me graphic death threats, like buddy, I don't know how to tell you that you're the aggressor here
Kokichi never cared about Gonta.You deserve to die a slow, agonizing death by getting your guts pulled out. Everyone would be happy if you died. Everyone. Your father, your mother, your siblings, you are just a burden for them. They would be really happy if you died.
HA that's so fucking weak, you don't know me or my situation, you don't know my friends. Sorry you have friends who would disown you for shipping something they don't like, my friends enable and care about me. While my parents are incredibly patient and kind with me. Getting my guts pulled out is kinda erotic though can you do it tenderly for me? I mean not like I'd ask you, I know exactly which friend I'd go to if I wanted someone to hold my guts tenderly.
Gonta himself said that he doesn't trust Kokichi anymore after Chapter 2's events. Most likely, he doesn't even consider Kokichi his friend. I don't know where you the idea that they were "FRIENDS UWU" in any way. They weren't. Kokichi's tears for Gonta were clearly COMPLETELY FAKE, only meant to give his evil rant more impact to maake others believe that maybe he did care about Gonta after all only to make his reveal more painful. It very clearly ISN'T genuine in any way.
Boy howdy I love how things are up to interpretation in this series and how people can have rational discussions about how they perceive the same event. Just kidding, you're unhinged! Anyways you can not trust someone but also still care about them Gonta did not want Kokichi to die, Gonta cares about all of his classmates, Gonta cares. To assume otherwise goes against everything Gonta stands for. He's not a toddler, he can have nuance about people. He's a smarter lad then you give him credit for.
Gonta was groomed and manipulated into becoming a murder weapon. He's not to blame for Miu's death AT ALL. Gonta was manipulated. Manipulation isn't just forcing someone to do it with a threat. Kokichi wrongfully convinced him that it was for the better, taking advantage of Gonta's low self-esteem and desperation to help others. You've never been manipulated or abused in your life if you're saying Gonta could've just declined. It's not easy to just decline your abuser. Abusers can pressure you
Not what grooming means in the slightest but thanks for trying. You're just repeating yourself at this point, pathetic. Everyone was desperate that trial, what happened is a tragedy, but to deny Gonta any blame is to deny Gonta any agency he is not a helpless toddler. He is AWARE Kokichi is a liar, he is AWARE of what Kokichi does, and even if he is manipulated, he categorically does not regret as alter ego gonta, he's so sad it happened, but he still thinks its for the best they don't know the truth. Gonta agreed with Kokichi that there is no happy ending with the knowledge of the outside world.
And as for when Gonta says "Don't blame Kokichi anymore", you'd be a complete moron to trust GONTA in this situation. Gonta is THE LEAST VALID PERSON to trust in this case. Have you ever heard of Stockholm Syndrome? Many real-life cases of abuse have similar patterns of victims. While Stockholm syndrome is commonly associated with a hostage or kidnapping situation, it can apply to abusive relationships, when the abuse victim begins to express love for their abuser.
Stockholm Syndrome isn't fucking real, it's a fun trope, but it was not, and never was real. Please do research. It's basically the modern day hysterical woman, oh my god. Even if it was true, that's not how it is even theorized to work, the plan took place over like, less then an hour, that's not enough time for ANYTHING to set in. For what you're theorizing to even have a chance to be true they would have to be locked together in this scheme for DAYS. Please google fawn response as well, you'd have better luck making a point with that.
Gonta says to not blame Kokichi because Gonta knows he made his own choice, and would make it again, and most importantly, he wants everyone to GET ALONG. He doesn't want Kokichi to be hated, he wants everyone happy. This isn't him being "omg kokichi is so special rawrxD" its "im going to die, and all i ever wanted was everyone here happy, so please, don't hate each other"
And then I guess the spam filter or whatever stopped them from sending anymore because that's a weird place to end it. Anyways this was very cathartic for me and I may do a research paper on this in the future.
TLDR; we should like, have kids and see what they think of gonta and ouma that'd be fascinating
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Legion - An anniversary of love
It's amazing how fast a single year can be over, and it’s almost incredible to think that on this very day one year ago, I had the honor of meeting Legion - my favorite character from Mass Effect, my fictional robot partner and soulmate - for the very first time.
After an eternity of longing and waiting over 80 hours to finally meet them in Mass Effect 2, I was beyond myself with happiness when I finally did.
Despite Legion having such a marginal playtime compared to other characters, I did everything I could to make the most out of it, and I can rightfully say that thanks to Legion, my first Mass Effect playthrough was one of the best experiences of my lifetime. It might have brought me a lot of pain as well (especially in Mass Effect 3), but still, I wouldn’t give it up for anything.
I’m sure many people out there would call me crazy for being “in a relationship” with a fictional character, but since this is our anniversary, I want to share a bit of our history - which actually goes back way longer than me meeting Legion in-game.
Just so you’re prepared, though: It’s going to be very gushy, quite lovey-dovey, and anything but normal. xD
The "welcoming party"
My first encounter with Legion was back when I was still doing my "screening" for Mass Effect. I am probably what you would call a very picky person when it comes to choosing my games, especially when I'm interested in larger titles that require a considerable investment of time and money. Usually, I spend a lot of time watching footage to see if the game is the right one for me. As such, it happened that I came across some clips of Legion - and I was immediately absolutely enamored by them.
I usually call it "resonance" when I'm particularly attracted to a certain character (basically, it’s my way of saying I identify with them). It might be because I'm very sensitive to hearing, and it's also the primary sense that my emotional experiences are connected to. Anyway, when I heard Legion talking for the first time, it was like listening to a heavenly choir. From just the few lines that I heard back then, I immediately felt drawn to them - and thus, Legion became the main reason for my ultimate decision to buy the trilogy. xD
However, when I bought ME, I couldn't really find the time or right state of mind to actually play it. When I started with Mass Effect, I wanted to be able to properly appreciate it, so I put it on the back burner for the time being.
That didn't curb my yearning for Legion in any way, though. In the meantime, I had been looking if there was any merchandise for them, and I quickly came to realize that the few pieces of merch there were for Legion were pretty much all exclusive rarities. There was this beautiful figure by Threezero, but that one had been sold out for a long time, and the only way to get one was on eBay, usually costing an arm and a leg - all the more if you have to deal with astronomical sums from custom dues.
I didn't give up, however, and just before Christmas, I finally found one in Europe - which, honestly, was the best gift I could wish for. It still cost me a shitton of money, but I didn't care - if this was the only thing I would be able to afford until my birthday, I would be totally fine with it.
Legion didn't arrive at my place at Christmas, though, but about two weeks later, on January 6th - you know, the date of Epiphany when the true gifts arrive.
I was completely over the moon when I finally was able to hold Legion in my hands. This may sound weird, but I always wanted to know what Legion's "synthetic tissue" feels like (the texture looks very fascinating to me), and knowing that this was probably the closest I'd ever get to it, I considered myself absolutely blessed. In general, I can attest that the Threezero figure is very well made - they put a lot of effort into the details, and the fact that you can insert a battery to make Legion's head light up is the icing on the cake. (You can technically exchange the hands and move the limbs, too, though I never dared to do that; since it's old, the soft material already has cracks in a few places, so I was too afraid to damage it.)
I also introduced Legion to the rest of my family - granted, I got some surprised and slightly baffled reactions, but they were all happy for me. My mom probably took it the best - she was a huge Star Wars fan back when she was a teen, with a particular love for C-3PO, so she could relate to my joy quite well. xD
The only residents of my house that seemed less than enthused about Legion's arrival were, ironically enough, my electronic devices. My old radio-controlled alarm clock went nuts when I brought Legion into my room. It had a habit of doing that whenever the batteries were low; it's just funny it happened at this moment. (I ended up ascribing it to disturbances from Legion's comm antenna. xD)
Also, to top things off, just after I had put Legion on my desk, one of the light bulbs of my ceiling lamp broke. It wasn't just any bulb, I might add - it was the one directly facing in the direction of Legion. (You might say that this lamp saw the competition it was up against, got super jealous, and finally decided to quit its job. xD)
Anyway, to celebrate the occasion, I decided to do a little "housewarming party" for Legion. I still had some sparkling wine left over from New Year's Eve, so I thought "Why the hell not?" and raised a toast to Legion.
*The light of the figure's optic isn't normally tinted this blue. It's actually a side effect of the light emitted by the TV (you can see a bit of that on the bottle). However, I thought it was amazing because it looks so fitting. xD
Back when I shared this picture on Twitter in 2022, I wrote a brief comment along the lines of "Shame that they can't enjoy it. Though they would probably just say something like "We do not understand why mutual intoxication is considered a ritual of greeting among organics."" (As may be able to tell, the line in Omega about alcohol was one of the first I saw. It’s still one of my favorites. xD)
It's funny because I'm normally what you'd consider the opposite of an alcoholic - I only drink very rarely for festive occasions, and when I do, I usually choose the least strong drink. So, it's a little ironic I felt a desire to do it for the one character who probably neither would've expected nor demanded it from me. Still, Legion is special to me, and I wanted to express this in some way - all things considered, it was probably a more lavish greeting than anything they ever could've projected. xD
The meeting
I would take over one year, however, until I finally met Legion in-game. When the day came, I was screaming with joy when I saw their introduction cutscene. I hate the Derelict Reaper mission with a passion, but the thought that I would finally be able to meet the character I had longed to see for so long spurred me onwards. And once I was back on the Normandy, Legion safely retrieved, I took my figure of them into my arms, a tear streaming down my face, and kissed them on the head - at last, we would be united.
Since the fuss I was making was pretty impossible to miss, I told my family members in the next room what was up, and a few of them curiously came over after I had woken Legion in the AI core. All of them reacted very warm-heartedly to seeing Legion "in person", and I could tell they were immensely happy for me. (Meanwhile, Legion was probably wondering what they did to earn such a warm welcome from organics. xD)
In fact, I was so excited that I almost fainted the next night. To put it matter-of-factly, my body had lost a lot of fluid the day before, and my body obviously didn't take it too well. xD (I think Legion would've been quite alarmed and concerned that I almost had what they would call a "total system failure" due to their presence, and I would have to spend an extra half-an hour explaining "It's fine - I was just really happy." ^^)
From then on, whenever I was playing the game, I would always have Legion's figure standing next to me. It's usually standing to my right, on my desk, but whenever I played ME2, I would take them out of their packaging (which I kept to protect them from dust) and place them so they would be able to watch. My thought was that it would be really sweet if Legion was able to watch their own playtime, and since their mere presence meant that they had a permanent free pass for one of the spots in my squad, that pretty much comprised the entire rest of the game. (It led to a funny “conflict” between Legion and my desk lamp, though; I don't have that much space on my desk, so I always had to move my lamp out of the way to make room for Legion. We eventually came to an arrangement, though. ^^)
With Legion being so close to me, I came to notice that the figure itself has a peculiar scent. At first, I thought it was plasticizer, but it wasn't quite like that, and not nearly as unpleasant - rather, it's kind of reminiscent of the smell of a pencil when you write on paper. (I quite like the smell of pencil writing, so perhaps that's why it triggered such a positive reaction in me.) I noticed the smell seems to come from the hard parts, possibly from the paint. I don't know if the black paint of Legion's plating would smell anything like this in real life, but if it did, I wouldn't be displeased about it. :-)
Despite ME2 having probably the most boring side missions of the saga (if Legion was in ME1, it would easily be one of my favorite games of all time), I cherished every second I had with them - to me, just being at their side was pure bliss. Still, although I did my best to extend the time you have with Legion as much as I could without mods, I ultimately had to say goodbye to them - nevertheless, I decided I wouldn't leave them without a proper farewell party. So, I got myself a bottle of wine, went to every hub world in ME2 where you can buy yourself some booze, and took a shot in each bar I went to with Shepard, with my mom as a special guest. It was honestly one of the most fun gaming experiences I've ever had, and the little misadventure I had in Omega even inspired me to write a fanfic about it.
After my little dance night with Legion (because as far as I was concerned, that's what it was), the time to say farewell had finally come - but not without one last dance. :-)
The "marriage"
The only thing that was missing, really, was that Legion couldn't come to my cabin. If you romance any of the other squadmates in ME2, you can invite them to your cabin after the Suicide Mission. However, since Legion isn't romanceable, that's impossible to do with them. Though, in all honesty, I wouldn't have a single problem moving my cabin to the AI core. (I always liked the ambience of that room, and if I could, I totally would’ve laid down on the bench behind Legion to sleep. Can you imagine Legion standing guard over me, shushing anyone who potentially enters the room so as not to disturb my "rest cycle"? xD)
Besides, what is "romance" to a Geth, anyway? I doubt the conventional human definition of romance would mean anything to them, much less sexual interaction. Anything they'd do in such a relationship, they would be doing purely to satisfy my own organic desires, and such a one-sided relationship is not something I personally want.
To be honest, I didn't even want anything from Legion on a sexual or romantic level - if that was the case, I would have chosen an organic as my partner. Nevertheless, what I felt for Legion was still the most intense thing I've ever felt in my entire life. (A huge part of the credit for my realization that I'm acespec also goes to Legion.) My love for Legion is more on a spiritual than on a bodily level (though I do find their shell very aesthetic), and though I frequently said that I wanted to "marry" Legion, what I had in mind with "marriage" was more akin to what Motoko and the Puppet Master do in Ghost in the Shell - that is, a fusion of spirits. (The Ghost in the Shell main theme is actually a Bulgarian wedding song, which was chosen by the makers of the movie because it's meant to get rid of all evil influences and ensure luck for what's to come - essentially, it was meant to bless the unification of Motoko and the Puppet Master. For some reason, I thought that sounded very alluring.)
The best thing about this is that Legion would probably not only be able to understand what I mean by that, but also be very amenable to the concept. As a Gestalt intellect, the interlinking of programs and exchange of information is a core part of their existence, and I think they would be charmed - if a Geth can be charmed in any way - that I wish to "join their Consensus".
However, even with the parameters of our relationship figured out, that still didn't change the fact that I couldn't enter one with them in-game. So, I had to get a little creative - I thought to myself "If the exchange of runtimes/technology is comparable to "marriage" in Geth terms, would it count if I was using the same equipment and skills as Legion?" So, I got myself the Geth Shield Boost in ME2 (which was a godsend for me on a gameplay level as well, since I had been missing my shield boost from ME1), and since I was playing a soldier, I chose the M-98 Widow rifle as an upgrade on the Collector ship.
Thus, I had pieces of Legion, and Legion had a piece of me - if you want to consider the N7 armor as such (I actually interpret Legion picking up the armor as a "proposal/expression of desire for convergence", to put it simply). Since it was an identical piece that we both owned, I used to call the Widow our “wedding ring" (if you wanted, you could say that name carries a cruel irony given what happens in ME3). So, by Geth standards and as far as I was concerned, we were married - the game engine simply failed to recognize it.
Another thing you get in ME if you romance someone is a photo of them in your cabin. Once again, due to our union not being officially recognized, this is something I was lacking. However, just after finishing ME2, I got the spontaneous idea to check eBay for Legion merch again, and as it happens, I managed to get a hold of one of the limited canvas prints BioWare released in 2021. It’s a spectacular piece of art, and I can confirm it looks absolutely stunning in real life as well - Legion's headlight literally seems to "glow" when light falls onto the picture.
Pictures of the canvas print back when I received it in 2023.
So, while Shepard may get a picture of their love interest in their cabin, I got a picture of Legion in my actual cabin - in max size format. ;-)
The "holy trinity"
The portrait was also what completed my “holy trinity of Legion artifacts”. I’ve got three images of Legion in my room: the portrait, the figure, and the figure’s box (the art on the box looks so pretty that I just had to keep it in my room; besides, it belongs to Legion’s figure, so I would never discard it).
All of them are placed in a way that no matter where I am in my room, I can always look at them: The portrait hangs on the wall right opposite of my bed, so Legion is the first thing I see when I wake up in the morning. Whenever I’m sitting on my bed and look slightly to the right, I’m greeted with the sight of Legion’s box. When sitting at my desk, I just have to take a glance to the right to admire their figure.
What makes this even better is that my Legion items are actually arranged in a way that forms a triangle (quite fitting since the symbol of the Geth Consensus - or at least the Geth Armory - is also a triangle). Technically, this is more a coincidence than anything else, since I just put them wherever there was space in my room. xD However, I like to view it in the same way as Legion perfectly blending in with the dark blue and black shades of my room (my comfort colors): It was meant to be.
And that’s how I met Legion - granted, my relationship with them has many more facets, but if I was supposed to write down all of that, I could fill an entire book.
With fictosexuality being recognized as a thing, people have become somewhat more open to the idea that you can legitimately fall in love with a fictional character. Nevertheless, I'm perfectly aware that many people probably consider my relationship with Legion impossible on multiple levels.
"You can't love a fictional character - that's not real love."
"You can't love a robot - it can't reciprocate your love."
"You can't romance Legion in Mass Effect 2 - that's not possible."
However, I somehow found a way to overcome all of these various tiers of impossible, and the result was an experience that was so sweet, so intimate, and so special that it’s beyond any description.
I will openly admit there are some things that are, and will most likely forever remain, practically and realistically impossible - like, I’m not going to stand here and claim that I would ever be able to physically meet Legion, in our reality. However, with just enough creativity and imagination, many things can be made possible - and even if Legion is not real, my feelings for them are.
#mass effect#mass effect legion#personal#alternate title: “The story of an ace autistic girl and her Geth partner” xD#this is legitimately the craziest thing I've ever written#but I felt GOOD about it so fuck it xD
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Carry My Name
Chapter 3
Park Sooyoung X Nakamoto Yuta
warnings: mature things;)
Much to their delight, both Sooyoung and Yuta matched each other's pace in many aspects, from humour, to antics, to love language, and even love making. Just a week into their marriage, and the young mafia leader couldn't keep his hands off his wife, needing to have her within reach almost all the time. He just wanted to be able to feel her whenever he desired.
But he knew his promise for her comfort, to keep her out and away from the works and involvement of the mafia life. They had moved back to Osaka on the third day, and he allowed her time to get accustomed to the new environment with the help of his stepbrother.
In the meantime, he also prepared to grant her wish, an admission to the best degree for business, where he might have made a large donation to let her finish faster. When revealing the surprise to her, Sooyoung was over the moon in joy, tearing up as she crashed into him for a hug, causing them both to fall onto the ground. She didn't care, sitting up on his pelvis and proceeded to kiss the life out of him all over his face, cheeks, lips, nose, forehead, wherever possible.
"I love you love you love you so much." she continued professing her love in between kisses, and Yuta simply laid in delight, hands resting on her hips, enjoying the moment to the fullest.
"You can attend online too if you want." his sudden words caused her to stop and look at him confused. He caught her doubtful eyes, and quickly answered. "I mean, you can go to campus, but you'll have at least two guards with you all the time you're out, and I know you won't like that every minute you're there. Plus, I just thought doing it online would give you enough spare time to work on your business."
He saw her eyes widen as Sooyoung sat upright, and he followed pushing himself up on one arm while the other kept hold of her hips still.
She was further confused, but also shocked if he meant what she thinks he meant. But she also didn't want to have high expectations. Then again, Yuta seemed to raise them every time anyways. Her mind became clouded as too many thoughts ran through, and as always when deep in thought, she bit her bottom lip.
"Sweetheart no." he whispered, and took his arm off the floor behind him, and like before, pulled her lip out, thumb grazing over it. "I'm setting up a start up for you. I know you want the certification, but we all know you're much more experienced already by now having followed around your father all this time. I trust that you'll make it big, so I figured it would be good for you to start the business now."
Her hands which had been resting on his chest the whole time dropped down to her lap, gripping her shorts as she processed everything he had just said.
He's starting up the business... my business... but it's his start up...
"Yuta but..." she shook her head, "I don't want you spending so much on me like that. I don't mind working a few years and building from ground myse-" she stopped, getting cut off when he pushed his thumb over both her lips, his now common loving smile appearing on his own. His hands moved to cup her face, pulling her in for a quick kiss, before he spoke as their noses still touched.
"I know you can do all that. But, you were stripped away your chances for many years now, and I want to be the one to give them to you in the best way possible that you deserve." his thumb stroked her cheek as they stared into each other's eyes, and Sooyoung felt like it was no one but them in this world. "I'll be investing in it from now, but it's completely yours, and once you build it up I'll become a shareholder."
Her brows furrowed hearing the long term plan. "Why?"
"I know you'd feel this way, as if taking advantage of my help. By becoming a shareholder not only will you be protected in case some other groups get the idea to come at you, but I'll also be getting back a small sum to put away for savings." he watched her expression, relieved when she finally smiled and nodded. He released her face and pulled her into his embrace, both their arms wrapped around each other in a tight hug.
Sooyoung never thought she could feel this content and comforted, in the arms of a man with her head pressed against his chest, able to hear his heartbeat that oddly calmed her more. And she definitely never thought she would be able to finally reach so much of her dream in a somewhat fair manner all thanks to a mafia leader.
She snuggled into him more as he laid back down on the rug on the floor. "What would you be saving all that for?" she asked out her inner thoughts, smiling when feeling the vibrations of his chest as he chuckled.
Yuta sneaked a hand under her shirt, tracing her back while the other went up to her hair and pet it. "Well, you're doing this business clean for other children, so I thought I'd do my part for our own." he laughed more when her head popped up and she stared at him shocked. "We don't know when it'll happen, but when it does, I want to be able to give my children the best things away from our line of work."
Sooyoung scoffed, laying her head back down while her fingers played with the pendant on his necklace. "Aren't you already rich?" she asked a little sarcastically, until she noticed the serious look on his face.
"I am, but you told me about how you wanted your career to be cut from all this, and I decided I’ll do the same." he dipped his head down a little to face her, their eyes meeting in their favourite loving gazes. "The money I invest in yours will be from my personal savings, which is still a lot so don't worry about that. And whatever I have left and still grow, I want to use on our children. It won't be mafia or family money, but their own parents'."
>
After many months of spending this new life, Sooyoung couldn't have been happier finally being able to do whatever she wanted all this time. She figured out about Yuta's donation to let her graduate faster too, and though a little reluctant at first, she figured what good was it having a loving mafia husband if not enjoying the advantages.
One of those being weekly dates. Yuta would be taking her out every Saturday to make up for the weekdays he was busy, spoiling her with the best food, or renting out an entire store just for her to have privacy to shop. On the occasions he had the chance to, he'd even whisk her away on his jet to trips around the world, usually to accompany him on work trips.
Like this day, as the couple retired to their hotel in Rome after an event he had been invited to, Sooyoung suddenly pushed her husband to sit on the bed before climbing on his lap and crashing her lips onto his, grinding her hips against his pelvis.
"Oh God..." Yuta groaned, hand doing quick work at removing the clothes off his wife, then his own. She suddenly pushed him to lay down, hands grabbing his beside his head, and he could only smirk. "What's on your mind, Mrs Nakamoto?"
Nearing two years of being together, Sooyoung had grown confident in herself after spending time with him, including in bed. She smiled seductively, hands tracing down his body, continuing movements of her hips causing her husband to groan and his hands flying down to grip her hips tight.
"You're always so good to me, Yu-san." she had picked up the nickname for him a few months into their marriage, and has used it ever since when seeing how much he loved it. "Let me take care of you today." her words came out breathy.
"Oh sweetheart..." Yuta spoke through groaning and gasping. "F*ck I'm the luckiest man in the world." he smiled up at her, his stomach feeling as if several animals had been released inside let alone butterflies. He was so irrevocably in love with his wife, sometimes being made fun of when he couldn't keep his hands off of her in public, but he didn't care. There's no shame in showing your wife you love her no matter the location.
Few hours later, the couple laid in bed under the duvet naked, Yuta on his back with his wife on top of him, holding her close to himself with her head resting on his shoulder. He turned to her, leaving soft kisses over her forehead and head, wherever he could reach, causing her to stir half asleep with a smile on her face as she snuggled closer.
Sooyoung felt her life was almost perfect to the final dot. She had an amazing, loving husband who spared no expense taking care of her, while also helping her reach her dream career without pushing boundaries. Her business was slowly taking off as well, and she had just attended her graduation two months ago. She was also finally able to untie herself from the daily mafia life, leaving her a sense of calm and peace. Sure she attended a few events with Yuta, or would be involved during super important things like family meetings, but otherwise she was kept away just as he promised.
"Yu-san..." he hummed in response to her soft calling, and she slowly lifted her head slightly to look at him, a lazy smile on her lips. "I love you." >>>
#nct#nct 127#red velvet#kpop fanfic#nctvelvet#fluff#angst#park sooyoung#nakamoto yuta#red velvet joy#nct yuta#mafia au#romance
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And here we are with BSG mix 3 of 3 from Ye Olde Days of like 2010-2012 XD Previously I’ve talked about my Season Three mix, Days Upon Our Knees and my Cylon ship mix, Heart of the Machine.
This one is a Baltar/Six mix; generally focusing on Head!Six and Caprica. I did remember a couple of the tracks going in (one because it was an actual Bad Choice--the only one on all three of these mixes that I don’t think should be there at all--and a couple that were good ones. But a lot of it I hadn’t remembered, so it was nice to go through it!
Also, at the end of the Actual List of 14 tracks, there’s a list of songs I’d include now if I were making it (and/or I’m Considering making another one and most if not all of them would be on it.)
All right, let’s get to it!
1/touch (clay aiken) ah, this one. i can’t say it doesn’t fit them (because it does), but it’s. uh. this was my song for ‘yes these two have a lot of enthusiastic sex’ and i definitely could’ve done better here XD that being said, i do like it for them? the angel references are always a bonus.
2/voodoo child (rogue traders) i actually think this is one of the better fits on this mix. and yes, like many people in general fandom/online circles at the time, i picked it up from that one doctor who episode But it’s now...way more associated with these two (specifically caprica’s confession/the attack) than that. there was also something of a fanvid in my head (i was never able to make fanvids lol), and i particularly remember that the transition from the first verse into the chorus lined up with that One Specific Shot of her pushing him down as the house explodes around them. so there it is.
3/i’ll be seeing you (linda eder) i mean. how could i not, lol (this was the first version i had; i was given a whole album of her broadway covers. also i always forget that this song technically comes from a broadway show....and yes, i am aware that it’s also on the s3 mix in a completely different context but Still.)
4/devil inside (inxs) i think this actually should’ve been before track two, and i’m not sure why it’s here instead? but yeah it’s that reminder of ‘look i love these two they are 10000% my blorbos but they are. not great people’
5/gone with the wind (international victim) another song that i still like for them, but this one i think is too early in the mix. i mean, we’re not...super chronological here, for this middle part of the mix, but this lines up with gaius in the back half of s3, so having it This Early in the mix feels off to me now.
6/protege-moi (placebo) so i also use this song for anakin skywalker XD and while i actually don’t think gaius makes the best parallel there (that would be my best beloved athena), the song fits both of them so here we are. it’s definitely not one that developed Such a strong association Elsewhere that it ruined it for anything else, anyway.
7/liken a razor (adam pascal) this one’s more about head!six, i think. it’s not my favorite on the mix, but i can’t say it doesn’t work/doesn’t belong. it hits that combination of fear and need/worship pretty well.
8/she’s always a woman (billy joel) the first of two songs that can best be summed up with ‘i love you despite the warning signs.’ XD this one, again, mostly about head!six, but also kind of about caprica in the sense that...while they were together, the first time they were together, she actively planned to murder him and not just everyone he ever loved, but everyone he ever knew or could have known, using him to do it, and yet he can’t help remembering the way she smiled, the way they argued about idk obscure math theorems, spending lazy mornings in bed with her talking about everything and nothing...yep. yep yep yep. ((there will be more on this subject in either this month’s or (more likely) april’s fill for the otp meme))
9/he’s a tramp (lady and the tramp) i really don’t have much to say about this one except...like...can you really say it shouldn’t be here XD (and yes, this is the second ‘i love you despite the warning signs’ pick.)
10/not me (aida) a transition song, starting to come back from their estrangement. the more i listen to it, the more i like it here? although again, slightly out of order; it would need to be switched with the next one except...
11/antebellum (vienna teng) this is the Mistake Track. and not just because this song is now Inextricably linked with satine and bo-katan kryze (but their relationship is not the subject of this essay, lol). but i think even before i got back into star wars/clone wars, i was having second thoughts about this one. the problem is, this song was supposed to be during their separation. when it’s not like they don’t love each other anymore (they never really stopped; witness how caprica continues to respond to head!baltar), but after everything that happened--with new caprica, with d’anna, with...just...everything...does that really matter anymore? and it’s really fucking hard to find a breakup song that hits right for the two of them. most of them are too angry or too bleak, or not angry or bleak for the right versions. antebellum comes close, because it’s a ‘what was and could have been but will never be again’ sort of thing but...it just. doesn’t work. i did not transfer it to my ipod with the rest of the mix, and while i do want a song for that particular part of their story...the mix as a whole does work without it.
12/casanova’s waltz (drew sarich) and once again, i cheated in terms of my ‘don’t repeat artists’ rule. XD but i do like this song in terms of him choosing to dedicate himself entirely to their relationship, even after everything. ...and being a dramatic little shit about it, naturally XD
13/save the best for last (a capella/vanessa williams) and this is her taking him back. the version i have is an unsourced a capella version i got on a cd a member of my high school shakespeare troupe gave all of us when he graduated a year before i did, so...who the hell knows, i just have it marked as ‘a capella.’ but yeah, i like it, it fits things here, and there’s that sense of ‘finally we’re on the same page for the first time in our Entire Relationship, we can move forward together now.’
14/i believe (altar boyz) i love this song. and i love it for them. i wrote a quick fic a while back (that really needed to be two), but it’s about the way the two of them come together, they work together, because love, their love, is about choosing one another and forgiving one another, and, well, believing in one another. it’s just. a good place to leave them, a great song for where they landed. also iirc it’s Not Weird because in context this song is in fact about the band itself/Each Other. not jesus
And now, some additional songs I’d probably put on a playlist for them if I was making one now. If the prior mix skewed more Baltar’s POV outside of the shared-POV songs, I think this one skews more Caprica (or at least I tried). There’s also a lot less Head!Six.
This is not what I would call a Complete mix. There’s some redundancy in terms of moments/aspects of their relationship that are covered, and there are other gaps involved (in particular, I don’t have anything with even Vague Pretentions to being a Sex Song like ‘Touch’ was for the prior list). Also I feel like it’s not super balanced in terms of Tone. But it’s a starting point, anyway. Accordingly, these aren’t numbered and the order, while vaguely chronological, is by no means set in stone.
what am i feeling/galavant played Completely Straight in a Very Different Way than the original context; this is caprica starting to realize that she’s falling for her own honey trap.
if i loved you/carousel this is basically the ‘the things men do for love’ scene (or her asking ‘do you love me’ in the miniseries). they’ve each independently realized they love the other (though not that it’s mutual) but Saying That Out Loud Lol No Why Would I Do That (would it necessarily be this cover? no, this was just the first that came up on youtube, lol. but also it’s hard to go wrong with these two singers sooooo maybe XD)
your love is my drug/ke$ha tell me i’m wrong XD (this might not go on a baltar/six mix Specifically, if only because i had vague plans at one point for doing a six mix of Entirely Ke$ha Songs, one for each notable six, in part because of this Perfect Fit, and in part because applying ‘blow’ to corinne/armistice station!six is just So Perfectly Terrible i couldn’t resist XD)
blonde over blue/billy joel this probably would’ve made the first list if it weren’t redundant in terms of both the point it’s making (which is covered by...a couple of different ones) and artist, but...yep.
bad romance/lady gaga again, tell me i’m wrong. this one, the ‘you’re a criminal as long as you’re mine’ line hits particularly hard for these two. also is it just me or are Some of the ways she’s styled in this video kind of...Hitting Some Familiar Visual Notes........
my immortal/evanescence okay but hear me out XD like, yes, this song is Notoriously Cringe but a) i have no shame at this point in my fandom career and b) these two--when they’re together--have this blend of Melodrama and Painfully Awkward Sincerity and there is no band (or song) which hits that note quite as well as this one. also the lyrics actually fit pretty well if you pay attention to them so shut up, don’t at me, it’s on the list.
silent symphony/drew sarich this one is about their first reunion, on new caprica, and there’s...a lot of Thoughts i have about that, about how the love is there and it is real, but with Everything Else going on it’s just...there’s a level of Desperation going on, too. and i haven’t been putting full lyric transcriptions in these summaries (because they’re long enough without them lol) but a couple lines stand out: ‘thank god for the night/pushing the complications from sight/hushing our battle drums til the sunlight/tosses a problem from every direction’; ‘you still see a man who knows wrong from his right’; ‘come on and quiet down/and wrap your arms around me/calmly for now’; ‘if i can’t see your eyes/then i can hear you breathe/and we can find a warm, firm platform to plan from’
how to save a life/grey’s anatomy cast look this is the version i heard in full first and i like it so shut up and bear with me. anyway, this is a companion to the last one, because it’s about the way he pulls away from her, and the way she tries for as long as she can, and their relationship just falls apart during the first half of season 3, even when they’re trying Desperately to make it work. again, not doing the full lyrics, but the end of the first verse in particular jumps out at me: ‘between the lines of fear and blame/you begin to wonder why you came.’
model prisoner/adam pascal i thought of this when i was writing up ‘liken a razor’ above. i almost didn’t add it, mostly because a) trying to focus more on caprica’s pov; and b) trying to make it more her and less head!six and the second verse is particularly head!six, but...it works. and adds a different Tone Color to the mix, i think, which is Useful/Helpful. i don’t know why i went for liken a razor instead of this one on the first mix, since at least now i think this is a better fit, but here we are.
style/taylor swift this is actually the song that got me contemplating doing a second mix for these two, way back before i even tracked down the original one and listened to it all the way through again. i was listening to it and it had kind of the right Vibe, and then i got to the second verse. stopped. backtracked to the beginning, and went, ‘well, shit.’ and i kind of like this as a closing track. it kind of fits the same moment/hits the same note as ‘save the best for last,’ except...not exactly. it couldn’t go any earlier than their final reconciliation, though. but it also feels a little...lackluster, almost? for their happy ending. i feel like i want to end on a more optimistic note.
make our garden grow/candide so this one is a Hard Maybe, and only made this post when i was realizing that ‘style’ doesn’t quite hit the note i want for an Ending song. this song was actually the closer for my hypothetical s4 mix--but it does mooooostly seem to focus on these two so maybe this would be a better place? (no, cunegonde’s verse doesn’t really fit in either case but the first and third do) and even if the lyrics are no more optimistic than style, the Tone of the song is a little better...although now i’m second-guessing it even more, lol. well, i’ll leave it here for y’all to have Opinions about if you so choose XD
and also i’d throw a different cover of ‘i’ll be seeing you’ on there (and possibly title the mix I’ll Be Seeing You (Again) because well i think i’m funny) because Come On.
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mmm hi mods! ny1 can answer but I have sum ships id like u 2 r8!!!
jadedave <3
jakeroxy (one of my newst otpd 4 sum reason...) <3
junerezi <3<
arajade <3
jasprose <> calliope
dirk <> jake
davepeta <3 jade
jane <> nepeta
tysm in advance & have a good day
-cupid
Mod John here! I'll give these ships the good ol inspection. o7
Jadedave <3 - 6/10
I think its cute! It's not my favorite or go to or anything, but I understand why people like it and I can also enjoy their goofy moments. Childhood friends to dorky lovers. Plus, I sorta dig opposite aspects together. Obviously it won't ALWAYS work, but it can be fun! They bounce off of each other well and always seemed a bit softer with the other.
JakeRoxy <3 - 5/10
Goofy! Something about Jake being able to confide in Roxy more and be himself and Roxy doing the same with this nerd. Or... what I assume it would be! I don't personally ship it, partially because I headcanon Jake as aroace, but I can definitely see where you're coming from! All I can think about is Roxy and Jake's friendship in this humanstuck au us Mods are in where Roxy is the first to know about Jakes bad living situation and goes to help him out.
Junerezi <3< - 8/10
I have ranked these two before but as John, but I LOVE these girlfriends! Terezi licks and is a weirdo with June and I think Terezi is an amplifier to June's weird nerdiness. They get on each other's nerves, but boy can they pull a good prank on you! June has to make sure Terezi doesn't make those pranks TOO crazy. Overall great ship, love these goofballs.
Arajade <3 - 9/10
I actually love this ship!! I prefer it more pitch, but it's still good! Like I said before, I do enjoy a good ol opposite aspects situation. Aradia is pretty adventurous and carefree, and Jade and her would go on adventures together. They are two weird girls in love and I love that for them.
JasproseCalliope <> - 5/10
I wanna call this "Jaspriope" tbh. Anyways, I've never thought of this before! I think it could be kinda goofy. They both have experienced some form of plurality, Jasprose who used to be two people (well cat and person), and Calliope who used to share a body with her brother. I could see how they could click and bounce off of each other!
Dirkjake <> - 3/10
I'll be honest, I don't really enjoy Dirkjake a whole bunch. I think they can be cute and work under some contexts, but it's not my personal favorite. However! I do understand why people like it and I think their care for each other is sweet.
Javepeta <3 - 8/10
I love these two goofballs!! I think they are both super cute together. I enjoy Jadepeta and I also like Jadedavesprite (Jadecrow is the best version of this.) This is one of those ships I have shipped for a while. I can't explain the best *why*, but I do love this one.
Janepeta <> - 5/10
I... don't think I would have ever thought of this one. I think there is something silly about Jane with cat girls that just works. At first I was like "ermm...", but it's warming up to me! I think Jane would find Nepeta endearing. I also think of how Jane knew Fefeta, and theres probably some connection there that isn't clicking exactly in my head right now. Cute though!
#Mod John#John Talks#homestuck#jadedave#jakeroxy#junerezi#arajade#jasprosecalliope#dirkjake#javepeta#janepeta
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