#anyway watch as i get attached to this silly desire

[note-boom]

You know a silly thing I want?

I think that Naomi and Gin should team up and be a non-superpowered version of Soukoku. They're already enemies via being on different sides but more than that....Naomi's intelligence and quick thinking + Gin's almost supernatural skill with knives? That's more soukoku-y than the more fighting-based partnership Akutagawa and Atsushi have.

But even more than that...they are both sisters to powerful members of their organisations, they are both the only significant character-based rather than author-based characters, and they both have that whole illusion/more than they seem thing going on. Also, IRL Akutagawa and IRL Tanizaki bickered or something about literature, didn't they?

Anyway, yeah...it would be cool to me to see them team up....

[pirateprincessblog]

let me help

𝐝𝐞𝐬𝐜𝐫.: after giving birth and getting bored at home, you come back to work. nothing has changed, except the pair of eyes that look at you in a different light in the corner of the room. 𝐩𝐚𝐢𝐫𝐢𝐧𝐠: choi jongho x f!reader 𝐰𝐨𝐫𝐝𝐜𝐨𝐮𝐧𝐭: 4k 𝐭𝐚𝐠𝐬: singlemother!reader, pervy!jongho, needy!reader, dom!jongho 𝐬𝐩𝐞𝐜𝐢𝐚𝐥 𝐭𝐚𝐠𝐬: milf!reader, breastplay, oral fixation, breastfeeding (LIKE TWO DROPS BEAR WITH ME), dry humping

𝐰𝐚𝐫𝐧𝐢𝐧𝐠𝐬: none? 𝐧𝐨𝐭𝐞𝐬: this was so NOT inspired by a crazy reddit post i saw on tiktok lmao, also reader is not necessarily big boobed just imagine whatever u want

𝐃𝐢𝐬𝐜𝐥𝐚𝐢𝐦𝐞𝐫: 𝐭𝐡𝐢𝐬 𝐢𝐬 𝐚 𝐰𝐨𝐫𝐤 𝐨𝐟 𝐟𝐢𝐜𝐭𝐢𝐨𝐧 𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐝𝐨𝐞𝐬 𝐍𝐎𝐓 𝐫𝐞𝐩𝐫𝐞𝐬𝐞𝐧𝐭 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐰𝐫𝐢𝐭𝐭𝐞𝐧 𝐦𝐞𝐦𝐛𝐞𝐫 𝐢𝐧 𝐚𝐧𝐲 𝐰𝐚𝐲.

***

being pregnant is hard. giving birth is harder. raising an actual pocket sized human was supposed to be the hardest. yet there she is, your own child, sleeping in her crib without a single care in the world. it's been weeks since you gave birth now, and you don't know what you're doing right, but this baby might be the calmest baby in the world. almost always asleep, and when awake, laughing her ass off until she tires herself to sleep again.

frankly, you are bored. you were ready for crying, screaming, projectile fluids, messes, and whatnot. however, this child appears to be toying with you. it laughs in your face, almost as if mocking you for having to stay at home. besides sleeping, she eats quite well. your breasts are beginning to feel sensitive, but you're not complaining just yet, in case it gets worse.

"mom, i want to-" you start speaking one day, switching channels on the tv as the baby naps on your chest.

"hush! you're gonna wake her up!" the woman on the other couch whisper-yells at you.

"you did not just say that. she's passed out, look at her!" you gently pat her back, seeking a reaction. but when she only exhales in her sleep, you look at your mother with a raised eyebrow. "see? like a little drunkie."

"fine, fine. whatever. what did you want to say?"

"i want to go back to work."

"absolutely not."

"why not?!"

"you just had a baby!"

"yeah, weeks ago!"

the woman sighs, slapping her hands on her thighs in disbelief. "are you crazy?"

rolling your eyes, you sit up straight, picking the baby up and placing her on the blanket on the couch. she yawns in her sleep, and her small hands reach out to search for anything to grab on for comfort. she finds the ends of your sleeves, squeezing the fabric between her chubby fingers before dozing off again.

"mom, i honestly don't know what to do with myself anymore. i cleaned the house so many times for the past few weeks, as if i committed a crime and am trying to erase all the evidence. i have no desire for any hobbies or sports, i just want to go back to work. could you watch her for a few hours every now and then? it's not like it's every day."

just in time, your father enters the living room. seeing that he has helped himself to a bottle of beer your ex has left in the basement, you can't help but laugh.

"what is it?" he asks, noticing the difference in the energy of the room.

"your daughter wants to go back to work."

"oh, my! congratulati-"

"no! you're not supposed to be on her side." your mother slaps his shoulder, causing him to frown at her and gently push her off with that same shoulder.

"come on, mary. she's gonna die of boredom. besides, i'm sure she can adjust her schedule and shorten her working hours?"

you nod, feeling grateful that at least someone understands you. you don't give your mother a chance to protest, you wouldn't listen to her anyway. your fingers are already dialing the company, notifying them of your return.

***

your makeup and hair station awaits you just like you left it: the silly polaroids still taped on the corners of it, along with random bows and flowers. a small bouquet of fresh flowers awaits you, with an attached note and a baby store gift card.

𝓽𝓸 𝓸𝓾𝓻 𝓯𝓪𝓿𝓸𝓻𝓲𝓽𝓮 𝓼𝓽𝔂𝓵𝓲𝓼𝓽, 𝔀𝓮 𝓵𝓸𝓿𝓮 𝔂𝓸𝓾!

𝔂𝓸𝓾𝓻 𝓯𝓪𝓿𝓸𝓻𝓲𝓽𝓮 𝓬𝓵𝓲𝓮𝓷𝓽𝓼,

𝓪𝓽𝓮𝓮𝔃

soon after, you are bombarded with hugs and questions, first from the members then the staff.

"wow, i can't believe a whole baby came out of you! that's so weird."

wooyoung earns himself a smack to the back of his head for that, hongjoong and seonghwa looking at him disapprovingly. "you can't say that, you dumbass."

"what? that's incredible! did it hurt?"

"wooyoung, don't be so-"

"oh, it's fine. let him ask." you come to his defense. "it did hurt, like a bitch. my ex had a big head, you figure out the rest."

the rest of the day goes fast, boys enjoying asking you questions and telling you about what you've missed, and you happily answering those questions and praising them for their progress. one person doesn't speak to you, and instead chooses to sit in the corner of the room, scrolling on his phone. jongho has barely looked at you after giving you a hug and congratulating you, opting for silence instead of engaging in the conversation. you don't talk to him, instead giving him peace.

was he angry that you left? especially during an important time, when they grew as a group and needed as much help as possible? after all, you weren't only their stylist, you were there when they needed help, comforting and whatnot. you're probably the only one who knew of their crushes, secret short relationships and struggles. and you've all kept it that way for a long time, and they still trust you. not once have you betrayed their trust, and being older than them, it makes it easier for them to lay all their concerns in you.

you're sad that you weren't there to experience coachella with them, but they made sure to show you picture and videos, even gave you mingi's bucket hat that had an autograph of other coachella performers on it.

"oh, i can't take this." you try declining, shoving the hat back in mingi's hands.

"sure you can. just take it."

after going back and forth with him, you finally give up, taking the hat and placing it on the corner of the mirror, as if it was wearing it. one by one, they are done with their preparations and leave the room. there's still time until the show, yet the screaming outside is so loud one would think the boys went out already. jongho stays sitting on the couch, not giving you any attention. it gives you time to adjust your bra, your sensitive nipples rubbing against the fabric and giving you a hard time. you wish you could just take it off, but with your luck, you would lactate all over the place.

having a sundress on doesn't make it any easier, your flesh painfully starting to poke out of it. not only did you not fix the situation, you also caused them to become swollen and painful. you sigh, defeated. the only thing left to do is finish jongho quickly and go home. maybe your mother was right. what were you thinking, wearing the dress anyway? guess those oversized clothes during your pregnancy grew onto you. before, you wouldn't be caught dead in a hoodie or a simple t-shirt outside of your home.

"jjong?" you call once you prepare the station for him. when he doesn't reply, your raise your head to look at him through the mirror, and find him already staring at you. "jongho?"

he jolts, cheeks painted pink. "yes?"

"will you come over so i can finish you?"

"yeah, sure."

the young man sits in the chair, squirming for the most of the time. everything seems to go smoothly, until you have to get closer to do his eye makeup. just a hint of eyeliner and eyeshadow seems to be taking ages now, with jongho shuffling and blinking for a worrying amount of time.

"jongho, sweetheart, i need you to stay still if you want to be out of here soon."

by the time he listens, the liquid liner has dried off on the brush, and you turn around to reach into the black bottle to reapply it. a sharp pain goes through one of your breasts, causing you to yelp and drop the brush and spill the bottle all over the counter. jongho opens his eyes, then sits up straight, worry painted on his features.

"are you okay?"

"yeah, just- give me a second."

you hold onto your breasts, back turned to him. still in pain, you don't care if he sees what you're doing. all you want is for it to stop.

"does it... hurt?" he asks carefully, peeking at you through the mirror.

you hum, gently squeezing them in hopes to relieve it.

"can i help in any way?"

"no, there's not much you can do. unless you want to be breastfed so my milk ducts get unclogged." you laugh awkwardly, eyes still fixed on the mess you've created on the counter.

when you don't hear any laughing from his side, you turn around, only to find him dead serious. you stutter, embarrassment flooding your cheeks as you realize you can't really joke about these things with them. after all, they are your clients.

"sorry, didn't mean to make you uncomfort-"

"i'll do it."

at that moment, the door opens, san poking his head through. "hey dude, there's like only a handful of snacks left for you, you better hurry up."

"it's fine." jongho replies, as calm as ever.

you still stand there, processing what he said. san shrugs, then the door closes again, and the man in front of you has his full attention on you.

"will that help relieve the pain?"

"i mean- i- i usually just breastfeed my daughter and it goes away. i could try pumping-"

"i'll help." he is persistent, still maintaining a poker face. it makes you lower your gaze, eyes fixed on his hands resting in his lap. he makes it so difficult to read his emotions.

"jongho, you- you can't be saying stuff like that."

you've never stuttered like this in front of anyone. not even your ex husband had you feeling this nervous under his gaze, not at the beginning of your relationship, not at the end. not ever. yet choi jongho looks at you so intensely, making your cheeks hot and your brain a mess.

"let me just finish you off quickly and then i can go home and solve the issue."

the man sits there for a few seconds, biting the inside of his cheek. he looks at your hands, still cupping your breasts, and without a word leaves his chair.

"wait, where are you-"

he locks the door, then tries it a few times to make sure nobody can get in. you stand still, afraid to move or say anything. not until he does something. he seems to take a few moments to think about the situation he has created. he said it so causally. just what was going on in his mind?

is the new state you're in doing something to him? is that why he was refusing to interact with you?

"jongho, just get back in the chair so you can be a free man. come on."

"no. i want to help."

"fine. what, do you want me to just whip out my tits and let you do whatever to them?" you roll your eyes, avoiding to look at him.

you miss the way he smirks, and only look at him once he sits back on the chair in front of you. you yelp, hands flying to his shoulders as he pulls you to sit on his lap. there is more than just wanting to help, you're sure of it now.

his fingers toy with the outline of your sundress, knuckles caressing the swollen flesh along the way. you can't help but shiver, hands still firmly planted on his shoulders.

"sit," he orders quietly, once he notices you're hovering over his lap. when you fail to listen, he pushes you down, right on his hard crotch. "may i?"

you nod, hurriedly, as if he will change his mind if you take too long. you haven't been touched, not even by yourself, for months. ever since your husband left you, right at the beginning of your pregnancy, you were constantly nervous, sick, and whatnot. pleasure was the last thing on your mind. and even though jongho is trying to do a nice thing, your brain cannot help but think of it as a sexual interaction.

which is why you are dripping already, his fingers barely touching you as he unties the little bow that holds the front of the sundress together. he looks at your plain white bra, and both of your realize just how perfect of a choice you made for today. in hooks in the front, and it takes jongho less than a second to unhook it with a single hand.

your swollen breasts now freely spill from the loose fabric, freeing your sensitive and swollen nipples that are begging for release. the dark haired man cups them, gently kneading as if he does that every day. he doesn't squeeze them, and you are thankful that he knows what he is doing. and impressed.

his thumbs swipe over your nipples, and a hiss escapes your mouth.

"hurts?"

you nod, face twisting with pain as he tests the waters and tries various motions on them.

"they're... bigger." he comments.

"yeah... i'm quite sad i don't get to keep them."

he chuckles, and so do you, finally feeling a little relaxed. nothing about your current state should make you relaxed. you should be jumping off that chair, finish his look at go home. not...  subconsciously dry hump him.

"you know, i thought my crush on you would go away when you got married. it didn't. i thought it would go away when you got pregnant. it didn't. i thought it would for sure go away when you gave birth. and guess what? it only got worse."

with your jaw dropped, all you can do is stare at him. so there was a hidden motive after all.

"i'm going to put it in my mouth now. is that okay?"

"jongho, none of this is okay." you say, your brain working against your heart. and your pussy.

"it's fine. i'm just helping you. that's all."

"yeah, well, putting my nipple in your mouth isn't what one might consider help- oh!" he swipes his tongue over the hardened nipple, finally making you shut up.

his hand cups your breast, gently squeezing it before he attaches his lips to it. your hands instinctively grab at his hair, almost shoving his head into your chest. he chuckles, enjoying how desperate you are when he hasn't done anything properly yet.

your hips grind on his, and you aren't aware of it until the surface beneath you gets harder and harder. jongho grunts against your chest when you roll your hips properly, and it makes you stop. you try pushing him away, ready to start apologizing over and over again. but jongho simply lets go of your breasts, only to put his hands on your ass and help you roll your hips again.

his lips finally start sucking on the tense bud, causing you to yelp in pain. he squeezes your ass, as a way to comfort you. his tongue swipes over your nipple every now and then between sucking, just to soothe you. one hand cups your breast again, gently squeezing it in hopes that it will help.

this time, he is the one to yelp. you look down, embarrassment flooding your cheeks once again. your fingers have tangled themselves in his dark locks, accidentally pulling a bit harder and causing him pain.

"it's alright," he assures, smiling at you. "should i continue?"

"yes, please."

he wraps his lips around the nipple once again, sucking softly. the sight has your panties drenched; your client sitting on your chair, sucking on your tit, while you hold onto him for dear life and grind on him. the rough fabric of his jeans, combined with the fabric of your underwear, deliciously rubs against your clit, causing the pleasure to start building up in your lower stomach. you've almost forgotten about the pain, jongho's now swollen lips kissing and tugging at both of your nipples, and your crotch getting all the attention.

you no longer care about being quiet, moans and gasps shamelessly multiplying and getting louder, hips working relentlessly and fingers tugging his hair. never getting this close before, you force yourself to stop and pull away from him.

"what, what is it?" he asks, shiny eyes looking up at you.

"nothing, i-" you look down, picking the hem of your dress up and revealing a wet spot on his crotch. "i'm going to... you know."

it feels illegal to say the word.

"cum?" he finishes for you.

"yes."

"why did you stop?"

you sigh. your hands caress his cheeks and hair, fixing his messy state. "it's been a while. i don't want to cum with my clothes on. on my client's lap."

jongho takes a moment to think. you find out that it is not a good thing to let him do that. he picks you up, carrying you all the way to the couch where he sat. you find yourself laying on the soft surface, while jongho places a pillow under your head, and one under your lower back.

"can you hold this here for me?" he scrunches the ends of your dress under your chest, and you listen. "do you feel any better?"

"i mean... it's still clogged. maybe try a little harder?"

he takes it as a challenge, almost jumping on you like a starved animal. your hands now grip at the fabric on his back, nails digging into it. he doesn't protest, instead burying his head further into your chest and leaving a few feathery kisses before he takes your breast in his mouth again. just as you asked, he sucks harder. it hurts, more than before. your moans turn into whines and almost sobs, fingers hopelessly clawing at his back but not yet asking him to stop. tears threaten to spill down your cheeks, and you can barely contain them.

the man uses his hand to massage the other breast, caressing it, and the other to spread your legs so he can fit between them better. instead of going back to cup the breast he is currently working on, he slides it up your thigh, all the was to the outline of your panties. he pushes them aside, then gently brings his fingers to your folds.

"you don't- ah!" he finds your clit, giving it an experimental rub, "you don't have to do that."

"i want to." he mumbles, voice lower and raspier than you've ever heard from him before. sensing that you have stopped breathing for a second, jongho looks up at you, mouth still wrapped around your sensitive bud. he only raises and eyebrow and smirks against you, before continuing his actions, eyes not once leaving yours.

you weren't a fan of keeping your eyes open during sexual encounters. your husband didn't care. but this? jongho seems to be aware of the power his stare holds, mostly because his fingers effortlessly slip past your folds and inside your aching hole. you can't find it in yourself to look away, too lost in the way his lips look on you, and his body fits between your legs.

"harder-" you whine. "suck harder."

he hums, sucking harder and harder, while his fingers slowly start abusing your hole. he graces you with deep strokes, knuckles disappearing inside of you and fingers scissoring. the room is filled with squelching, kissing and sucking noises, along with your shallow breathing and a few moans and yelps. his thumb finds your clit once again, rubbing it as he continues fingering you. a tingling sensation appears in your lower stomach again, this time faster and stronger.

"jjong-" you gasp, liquid spilling from your breast and in his mouth. "fuck!"

he turns to the other one, repeating the process, all while his hand inches you closer and closer to the release you haven't tasted in months. white liquid drips down both of your breasts, nipples now more tense than ever.

he grunts along with you, grinding his hips on your leg. the man doesn't waste a single moment before licking away all the liquid that decorates your shaking body. the sight sends you over the edge, along with his fingers in your hole and his soft panting.

with your head thrown back over the edge of the couch, you find your body twitching as waves of pleasure wash over your body. even after jongho is done cleaning your mess that he caused, you have trouble catching your breath and calming yourself.

"hey, hey. i got you." he speaks softly, cupping your face.

he looks at you with different eyes now; soft and caring. a complete opposite of the lustful and intense one you just saw moments ago.

"feeling better?"

you nod, gulping. "i- thank you?"

he laughs, then plants a kiss on your forehead. "thank you."

"what for?"

"for making my fantasy come true."

"you're crazy," you laugh.

"for you, yes. now, let me help you get cleaned and dressed, so i can feel like i have shred of dignity before i ask you out."

"i- oh. but wait, what about you? did you...?"

he stands up, giving you space to stretch your limbs. he reveals a wet patch on his crotch, and not the one you made. "yeah... no sane man could survive this without cumming in his pants. you can't blame me."

[bubblespalace]

(😷: sensitive topic)

What would be the reaction of the Sakamaki brothers when they themselves discover that their partner has an eating disorder?

P.S.: I wanted to ask, what is a Moodboard? I can't figure out what it is hehe 🥲

Bubble: Hi, love! Nice to see you again! First off, I heavily relate to this request. So I'll actually be doing you one better and making a reaction for each Sakamaki with headcannons attached. This is a special ask because I have deep connection with it 💕

And a moodboard is basically a collection of aesthetic images with a prompt! 😉 💕

TW

"Why are you so worried about this? Tell me the truth, because whatever reason you give me won't be valid anyway."

🎻-I honestly think this would worry Shuu. He's kinda used to women chasing him and trying to entice him with their looks. So finding out that you actually don't think you're attractive, to the point where you stop eating, will confuse him.

🎻-To help, I actually think he'll be one of the healthiest of the boys in dealing with this with you. He'll probably either encourage you to eat or make sure you're not over doing it. He might even offer some kind of a reward for doing the healthy thing here. Like hearing him play the violin.

🎻-Overall, one of the best to have in this situation.

"Oh? Well, I shall be trying my best to guide you towards the right path, my dear. My lady shouldn't be in an unhealthy place on my watch."

🧪-So Reiji might have a less gentle approach at first. He'd probably be strict, making you sit down and eat a certain portion at certain times to get you on a schedule. And he would probably pull out the whip when you do something unhealthy as a result of this disorder.

🧪- But when he notices he isn't helping, he'd probably try something gentle. Or at least gently for him. I can see him doing some of the same things Shu does, rewarding and all. He'd probably try to buy you clothes that make you feel good about yourself too, if the eating disorder affects your body image.

🧪 He'd be a little kinder. Maybe her wouldn't point out anything food or body related, even during a punishment. Reiji would love his S/O, so he wouldn't be that mean.

"Well, jeez, chichinashi. No wonder you got no boobs... That was a joke! But hey... You should know besides being titless, I do like you. I deserve the best after all!"

🏀-Meet the worst boy to have in this situation. (You thought I was gonna say Kanato- Hahaha!) Honestly, Ayato will probably be okay still. Just not the best. He would offer you something all the time, whether it be popcorn, chips, or whatever. He'd probably even offer you some takoyaki, just a bit.

🏀 He'd also randomly do something in public like grab you around the waist turn you around and kiss you to show how hot he finds you, of your body image ties in with the disorder. He'd try to make you feel desired.

🏀-But he'll still be calling you chichinashi.

"What? Dolly, why? I picked you to be my doll. Therefore I do find you deserving of quite a lot. Do you doubt me? Come here, please eat some sweets with me."

🍭-I am gonna project what I want here because I love Kanato so much, and I have an eating disorder so don't mind me. Okay, Kanato would actually be another one of the best to have during this situation. Due to his relationship with food, particularly sweets, I think he'd want to get this silly idea out of your head.

🍭-He's going to sit you down all the time, have you eat with him. And he's going to tell you what a beautiful doll you are like this, satiated, not hungry. If you don't listen and don't eat, he'd throw a tantrum and maybe forcefeed you.

🍭-But he'll be treating you well if you accept his help. He's going to make you feel like the most beautiful woman in the world. And if you ever start to think overwise, or start to think he wants you thinner or thicker, he'll be telling you otherwise.

"Huh? Bitch-chan, but why? I don't understand. Could you explain, please. I'm quite serious about this."

🎩-Laito will have you eating happily without a thought in the world after some time if this disorder ties into body image. Both in public and private, he will be worshipping your body. Not even in an NSFW way all the time. Sometimes it will just be soft, sweet touches around your waist or thighs.

🎩-The good thing about Laito is he really isn't picky when it comes to looks. He truly believes everyone is beautiful and will make you feel that way. If it is a disorder that doesn't tie into body image, he will be making sure you are eating right. You'll definitely see a more realistic side of emotion in him during this time.

🎩-Another good boy to have here.

"Whoa, why? Did I make you feel this way?"

🌹-First thing Subaru will think is it's something he did. He'd probably not believe you if you say it's not because of him too. Eventually he's going to be trying to help too. Making sure you're at least eating something sustainable a day. He feels the need to make sure you're okay.

🌹-If it gets better for you, first thing Subaru is going to do is breathe a breath of relief. He loves you, although being tsundere as hell, and would just die if this disorder got worse.

🌹 He'll also give little compliments here and there, but will turn into a blushing, stuttering mess right after and deny to anyone he ever said it.

[sumersprkl]

Hi Ouran High School Host Club fandom, I’ve finally finished watching your show that’s been over for decades, and I’m bringing you more of my headcanons. Namely, Forever-Closeted Transfem Enby Kyoya Ootori.

HEAR ME OUT.

1. He doesn’t seem super attached to the idea of masculinity.

Kyoya doesn’t go to any lengths to prove he is masculine, and it seems to me like he wouldn’t care at all whether he was seen as a man or not, save for the fact that being seen as a man will benefit him financially and in his quest for his father’s approval. Now, you could absolutely read this as Kyoya being agender. I completely understand that, I’ve gotten that vibe off of him in the past as well, but it’s not how I want to read it for this headcanon.

2. He lets Tamaki and the Host Club dress him up.

Kyoya hardly ever sees customers himself. Usually, if he’s seen speaking to guests at the Host Club, it’s to sell them something specific, rather than to serve them as a host. If he’s just there in a support role rather than a host role, why would he need to dress up to fit the theme? Renge, the manager, very rarely dresses herself up to match the hosts. Therefore, some part of him must enjoy the act of dressing up, for reasons other than keeping up appearances as a member of the Ootori family. Dressing up in silly outfits is often considered a feminine activity, and it doesn’t seem like it’s one that Kyoya’s father approves of, and yet Kyoya engages in it, by choice, anyway.

3. He has a fascination with people who cross the gender line.

Kyoya is the first one to catch on that Haruhi is not actually a boy in the very first episode, and yet it seems like (at least for the first few episodes) he is the one who is MOST committed to making sure Haruhi stays in the club. (He expresses this desire to keep her in the club mostly through holding her debt over her head and manipulating the other club members into wanting to keep her, because he’s Kyoya, but it’s pretty clear to me he wants her there.)

Also, Kyoya goes out of his way to establish contact with Ranka, and becomes friends with him (I’m using he/him pronouns for Ranka because he doesn’t seem to object to them in canon and they’re what his daughter uses for him), months before any of the other hosts even think to wonder about Haruhi’s home life. Kyoya seems to genuinely like Ranka, and calls him a “beautiful soul” (I think that’s what the line was, I don’t have the episode up in front of me).

4. When Tamaki comes up with the idea to dress in drag to keep Haruhi from transferring to Lobelia, not only does Kyoya do it, he looks better than the entire rest of the club.

Even though it is an extremely stupid idea, Kyoya goes along with it when Tamaki wants everybody to do drag to “show Haruhi that she can get female comradery at Ouran” (or whatever). You could read this as Kyoya being desperate enough to keep Haruhi in the club that he would try anything; or you could see it as an overabundance of faith in Tamaki’s extremely stupid ideas, which have usually worked out for Kyoya in the past; but that’s not how I want to read it for this headcanon.

For their drag outfits, everybody else in the club either goes extremely over the top with their hair, makeup, and clothes (Tamaki, the twins, Honey), proving that they consider this a performance; or they do the bare minimum and only wear the outfit without doing any hair or makeup (Mori), proving that they don’t care about looking feminine enough to put in the effort. Kyoya, however, has on a dress in a color that suits him perfectly, a beautiful ponytail hairpiece, and lighter, more natural-looking makeup. Out of all of them, Kyoya puts in the most effort into looking like a girl, rather than dressing up like one.

There you have it. That’s my evidence for transfem enby Kyoya. Now what am I gonna do with this information? The same thing Kyoya would do if he ever put all of this together: absolutely nothing. There’s no way he’d want to give up the advantages of being seen as a man in the business world, and it doesn’t seem like his father would ever even consider handing his company down to his sister, so there’s no way he’d risk losing what he’s built just to change something as unimportant as his outward gender presentation.

...He could maybe get away with growing his hair out, though. If he argues that he’s going for a more traditional Japanese male look that breaks away from Western influences.

EDIT: Can y’all BELIEVE that I forgot to include that he lets Tamaki call him Mommy?

[sunlightandsuffering]

lys, hi. this video randomly popped up on my fb -- yes, it's the most accessible socmed platform where im from - feed (a friend shared it), and i just got so sad again.

https://www.facebook.com/share/v/neA4nN4tMTANdAwo/?mibextid=uSdriS

obviously, this is fiction, right? and i usually am so good at releasing it all out once im done internalizing it in my head. it's very stressful lol but i think it makes media content enjoyable, at least for this sort of media. the song isn't really something i've given a second listen - or even a full listen - but oh it works so well for this scene.

but i just get so sad, so incredibly sad whenever i think about canon eremika. as a sucker for well-meaning (lol) angst, their story was so beautifully written, but damn. i think i said this in an ask years ago...that i read your work as some sort of escapism, like 'oh it ends well for both of them' kind of thing. i dont ever do that with other anime/manga/fandom-centric entertainment etc; thinking about them just hurts a bit too much for an irl feeling. i need to think of them happy and flirty and cranky and just alive in that silly little place in my head reserved for media consumption. little nico doesnt hurt too

tbh, we cant really ask for canonical representations right? most writers dont write them that way anyway, but i feel like i could see canon eremika in your works, if they were ever given the chance to live out different lives in different worlds, haha. ig that's what happens when the emotional range has been fleshed out in canon material (tho at what cost??).

until know, i still cant laugh at those memes of mikasa developing an attachment to birds and whatnot because it's just really sad. lol like the dark humor doesn't work for me here.

anyway, that's all! i hope you're doing ok. maybe im just feeling blue because i just had a session of root canal treatment and the cost + post-session pain make me want to sob too. considering a dental implant after all this because if im going to go thru this, might as well do it for something that's guaranteed to last lifetime (with good bones & proper care ofc)

sending you my love, in the most non-weird way, if that's possible haha

AWW ANON SENDING U MY LOVE RIGHT BACK !!! I have never had a root canal but I think both my parents have and they fucking suck from the sounds of it, so wishing you a speedy recovery!!

oh god the fucking song tho 😂😭 i don't think ur alone, that song kind of hits different, I feel like I saw it on insta reels or something recently and I was definitely crying. I ALSO JUST CRY A LOT THO !! I was crying bc I watched the fast and the furious the other day , like who am I?? Media has the ability to bring it out in you!! Especialyl AOT!! ACTUALLY U KNOW WHAT THO IT WAS ANGEL BEATS THAT WAS MAKING ME SOB THE OTHER DAY, I ABSOLUTELTY SOBBED!!

I think I have emotionally removed myself enough from canon eremika that it doesn't phase me anymore, like I have not and likely will not rewatch AOT ever or any time soon at the very least because I just have no desire to put myself thru it bc I am simply too attached!

As far as me writing canon eremika goes, as I always say, never say never! So far, captain Eren is the closest I'm getting LOL! Altho I think i do have a few canon EM drabbles somewhere in the depths of my blog! I would like to write canon EM, but i don't know how i'd do it tbh. Like how I could spin a happy ending for them other than cabin EM which I did attempt but didn't finish as usual!! you never know what type of garbage I'll cook up tho 😂

[misscammiedawn]

Don't you think it's a tiny bit silly that Tumblr invents games to get people to ask other people questions? Anyway, Sage and Jasmine

I think it is a little silly, but Tumblr ask culture was bred from the "memes" of Livejournal. Back in those days there wasn't really a DM system so memes like that would be shared and people would just fill out the full thing and post them to their blogs.

Sometimes I just fill them out like I used to in the old days. Sometimes I put them in Asks because I like pouring some love to the dying ecosystem of Tumblr asks.

Anyway. I lived through Livejournal era and Tumblr is the inheritor of that culture, so I hope that helps explain a thing.

sage ⇢ what ‘medium’ of art (poetry, music, fiction, paintings, statues etc.) is the most touching to you? why do you think that is?

I am all about the communication of experience. Humans are damned to never be able to fully understand ourselves or one another. Even the people who know you better than anyone else on the planet can only see reflections and interpretations of you.

Art is very much the same and it helps bridge gaps of experience. I can't understand what it is like to grow up in the Rwandan Civil War and be displaced to a foreign country and only know your home through stories and photographs. I will never have the generational trauma of holocaust survivors experiencing decades of behaviors and prejudice spread over 3 generations and have to work through the context of all those moving parts...

But I can try. Heaven help me, I can try.

Likewise, it can help me make context of the things I do know about. I may not know the horror of an entire generation of people surviving a willing genocide of indifference and watching everyone in their community perish slowly, but I sure know how it impacted my mother and in turn how she treated her biological children. I have such a profound emotional attachment to the art from the genocide that took place during the AIDS crisis and not just because I am a queer woman who needs to know her history, but I'm indirectly a victim of it and knowing it helps in some tiny way contextualize that.

Because if you move the lens back far enough, we are all part of this intricate machine of reality and every moving part impacts us via a butterfly effect and art is the only way I know to be in touch with that. Educating myself is all well and good, but feeling my fellow human? That is what I desire. More than anything. I want to feel.

Movies, music, installations, books, comics, performance. However you are able to package all of that unknowable Truth and condense it into a language that is hidden behind words and brush strokes and pieces of candy in the corner of an art exhibit.

How can I pick one?

I can't. I won't. I refuse.

jasmine ⇢ do you have a movie or book you loved but will never watch/read again?

Synecdoche, New York is the first one that comes to mind. I watched it during my social transition in 2019 when I wasn't on HRT, only certain people knew my name and even then only a small number of those people were calling me by it.

I knew of the movie through YMS and no one had prepared me for the trans read of the movie... so I went in blind and got demolished.

Look... Synecdoche is a crushingly beautiful film from an artist who has put his whole heart on the page with so much gusto that he famously derailed an adaptation of a non-fiction novel to tell a story about his mental breakdown while working on the screenplay.

I have so much to say about it and the poignancy of the script has only increased since Seymour Hoffman's death. But that film broke me when I watched it.

The sequence where the main character, Caden, has switched roles to become a maid. A partner clocks them on their repressed gender expression and Hoffman confesses he wishes he had been born a woman and his partner consoles him and engages erotic intimacy while repeating "pretty Caden" over and over again. It is probably the most pain I have ever experienced in my life through watching a piece of media.

I spoke to a friend about the experience and I won't copy the text of that conversation here, but I had a complete dissociative experience from it, I was really messed up. Particularly as my own baggage was weighing heavily into the moment and I had no way near close to have resolved my terror of erotic intimacy at the time (tbf it's still unresolved, but I am no longer playing the role of an allosexual husband so it is no longer an issue)--

Not the fault of the film, but it was the wrong time to watch that movie.

I just... I know if I watch that film again I'll return to 2019. The worst year of my life. The end of my entire life as I knew it. All of the pain of transition and none of the euphoria.

I can't do that to myself. I just can't.

Also... has anyone else noticed how much Charlie Kaufman's scripts have trans themes in them? Like I am still upset about "I'm Thinking of Ending Things" not being an overt transgender narrative because I was so certain by the ice cream scene that the real ending just kind of disappointed me in how... unambitious it was.

[puerifungorum]

silly vampire movie concept with my ocs <3

(to clarify. what i mean is that i am jettisoning all the tragic backstories (we do not have the time or budget for those. they can be vaguely implied.) and trashing all my worldbuilding and lore. this is based on vibes and tropes and does not and should not make sense. i'm not assigning characters roles based on translations of what they've actually got going on, i'm assigning characters roles based on what would be fun. we're using as lore what i vaguely assume old-timey vampire movies to have as their lore.)

anyway. setting! this should be vaguely 1800s or vaguely 1930s with perhaps 1950s 1960s 1970s sensibilities? or all at once. but no modern technology! this is the idea of a campy vampire movie as it exists in my head (have not watched many vampire movies) (have watched dracula 1931) (have looked at still photos of other vampire movies). the setting is vaguely eastern european. if parts of it are not in eastern europe they can be in england. various characters can be in flowy white dresses.

you should imagine this in black and white.

Alianora is a vampire hunter! (not an angel in this.) She's very noble and sincere and brave and all that. At like, the very start of the movie or something, her dear friend Anselm dies due to a vampire’s predations! She’s mourning him from then on, but, like, not visibly in a hysterical grief way, in a solemn stoic way. 

If it’s Scarlet who kills him, Alianora can kill Scarlet right after and that’s my explanation as to what Scarlet’s doing in this. get staked idiot.

it might not make sense for scarlet to be the one to kill him based on the idea of like. vampires dying if you kill their sire. whatever i don't care moving on

So Alianora goes on. Vampire-hunting and whatnot. There’s a new vampire she’s hunting, who will turn out to live in a spooky castle! I’m going to say it’s Vianna for now. Helpful local maiden Judith is helpful and framed narratively as the love interest. There’s subtext that Alianora is interested in her as a way of displacing her grief over Anselm dying - trying to replace him with another emotional attachment/bond, attracted to qualities Judith shares with Anselm (personality-wise. They don’t look much alike).

initially it should not be clear whether Vianna is a vampire or just like. a weirdo

Shock and horror! Anselm has joined the legions of the undead! Will Alianora find the fortitude to free him of his curse and save his soul by killing him? Or will she succumb to the awful lure of the vampire herself?

Anselm btw is filled with resentment toward her for letting him die. because what is Anselm if not animated by wrath. He wants to turn her into a vampire as well (she has to stay with him as recompense for his own death) and if she refuses or hesitates he will go into a rage and try to kill her. (he's also mad at her for the romance with judith. he's barely even cold in his grave!! how little is he worth that he can be replaced so quickly! die!!!!!!)

At some point - either when she first finds out he’s become a vampire or right before she slays him - she does catch him waking up from his coffin.

it should not be clear if there's anything romantic going on between them before he dies. after he dies they're definitely acting romantically, but they should only refer to each other pre-death as "dear friend" and similar things - the romantic bit should be ambiguous whether it's based on an actual relationship or typical vampire seduction tactics. they should never kiss during the whole movie. they do get to almost kiss. it has to be weirdly charged when she's trying to kill him

(symbolically like her desire for him can be that he's the manifestation of her guilt and grief and unfulfilled love, but he's only a warped version devoid of the actual person she's missing - etc etc you know the drill. vampires are fun)

Judith meanwhile has her own gay little plotline going on with Vianna. 

It’s a love triangle! Will she choose the dashing vampire hunter who increasingly seems to only be using her as a replacement for a lost love, or the eerie and charismatic vampire who offers her immortality and a share in the Evil Plan (world domination à la Dracula)???

she's initially interested in Alianora because she's tragic and haunted. after some point Judith does realize that maybe "being sad about someone else" isn't really what she wants in a romantic partner. hm. (this bit should be subtextual)

Judith and Vianna also don't ever kiss. sorry Judith. they do get in some lust-filled gazes and they do get to lingeringly touch hands and Judith does get to be sexily menaced.

how are Anselm and Vianna connected? haven't figured that out. anyway

At the end of the movie Alianora kills Anselm and either she kills Vianna with Judith’s help or Judith kills Vianna. And then they have an obligatory romantic moment. (they are allowed to kiss.) This is what tvtropes.org calls an esoteric happy ending i think

i guess the ending could be like "oh nora's vanquished her personal demons of guilt and grief and righted her failing by saving her new love interest... judith's rejecting the lure of selfishness at the cost of other people...." but it should be done in a way where it doesn't FEEL like that's the takeaway. oh ok the leads are now in an unhappy romantic relationship where they're both pining for other people and had to kill the person they actually wanted. what was the point of this, you should come away asking.

more pictures :)

[bluebeewings]

Thanks for the recommendations! Putting them on my watchlist. I don’t have that many movies that I have read as aroace mostly because most of the movies I watch are explicitly queer movies (ironic) and they’re never about the aro/ace experience. Most of them are romances. Tho I feel like there is a lot of aromantic values (can I say that? Maybe sensibilities is a better word idk) in the most subversive ones (pretty much all of John Waters and queer films that focus more on sexual desire than any type of romantic connection like Shortbus and Kaboom (one of my all time favorite tho it has a tiny romantic subplot).

Out of those queer movies, the one I think has the biggest aro vibe is 1) Hedwig and the Angry Inch: The protagonist is clearly not meant to be aro or ace, but their journey involves feeling comfortable in their own skin and finding value in themselves instead of looking for it in romantic love. It’s an incredible musical and it stars with a song (called “origin of love”) romanticizing romantic and sexual love as this transcendental thing where humans used to have another half attached to themselves. When Zeus cut us, separating us from our other half, we were doomed to spend our lives looking for the missing part.

The way I interpret the movie is a subversion of this main song: Hedwig spends the whole movie trying to fill the whole that this non existing person would be able to. In the end, with my favorite song of the musical, Hedwig realises that they are complete: “And there's no mystical design/No cosmic lover preassigned/There's nothing you can find/That cannot be found”

It always brings me to tears. This character growth is represented through a tattoo the character has. In the beginning, is the image of two halves of a face. In the ending, it turns into a complete one. Hedwig isn’t attaching themself to the concepts in “origin of love”: “You think that luck has left you there/But maybe there's nothing/Up in the sky but air”

It’s amazing, every song is a banger and also very gender!

And then we have 2) Invisible Life (Vida Invisível): A brazillian movie about two estranged sisters who long to reunite. They were torn away by their father and both start to believe they’ll never see each other again as they unknowingly live in the same city. The bond between the two is strong enough to sideline any other type of love, but one of the sisters is extremely relatable to me. She was obligated to marry this man she barely knew and never once showed interest, romantic, sexual or otherwise, in fact, she’s disgusted by him and their sex scenes are honestly very hard to watch.

3) Bride of Frankenstein: Controversial, maybe. This is the movie where Frankenstein’s monster “gets a wife” but in reality? It’s about a deeply lonely being who longed for not being seen as monstrous. He wants a wife like him to have a connection he can’t with the people who despise him. It doesn’t feel that much romantic and definitely not sexual. Just an outsider wanting companionship. Very queerplatonic and obviously queer of him (honestly Frankenstein’s monster is just queer in every direction)

And for an even more controversial one I’ll say 4) Encanto: I remember the discourse about how “interpreting the movie with queer themes is downplaying the generational trauma which is the point of the story” yeah I know. Queer reading exists regardless, and that’s for every single movie in existence. And queer latine people exist (me for example). Anyways, to me the “powerless” in a family/society with people with powers is the closest we get to a metaphor about living as an aro/ace person. A feeling of abnormality with the lack of something most people have. Come on… Incredibly aroace

There are more but those were the ones that got me more. I’d also say maybe “Ready or Not” (hell yeah let’s kill your husband and all his family members), “Cruella” (just fashion, vibes and complex families albeit silly movie) and “wreck it ralph” (eh. It’s about platonic love, about outsiders, about feeling like who you are is fundamentally wrong… Super queer, aroace to me)

Excited to see this list get bigger!

I really wish there was a canon of aroace cinema. Obviously there is close to none representation, but I’m thinking movies that resonate to the aro/ace experience regardless of intent. To create a canon must be hard, but I’m gonna give my two cents with Little Women (2019 dir. Greta Gerwig) and The Banshees of Inisherin (2023 dir. Martin McDonagh)

[vampkaashis-wife]

“You’re flirting with me just so you can eat my food, aren’t you?”

“Is that really what you think of me?” Kaeya smiles lightly at you. He’s dressed casually today, lacking much of the usual pomp and extraneous flair. Granted, it is summer, and that large fur coating he always has draped over his shoulder is much too warm for a night like this. “You haven’t seen me in so long, and now you’re making accusations?”

“Alright,” you shrug, handing him another skewer. “You’re such a slut, seriously.” Because usual dress aside, Kaeya has left much of his chest exposed still. Does he think he’ll die if he shows any semblance of decency as far as his chest goes?

He smirks. “For you? Always.”

“Will you shut up?”

“I paid for it, sweetheart. Don’t go getting your panties in a twist.” He pauses, an awful sparkle glinting in his eye. “Unless… You’d like me to untwist them for you?”

“Kaeya!”

He cackles, the little witch. 

Honestly, you had been worried about attending this festival. Diluc and Jean had invited you back to Mondstadt after your long tenure in Liyue. They missed you, they said, and so did many other of your old friends. They had no news of Kaeya, though - because no one ever had any news about Kaeya. He’s the only person you know who can be both a high profile figure and a cryptid urban legend all at once.

As suddenly as he burst out laughing, he sobers up. “How have you been, really? Anything new?”

You shrug. “Liyue is Liyue, same as ever.” 

“You must’ve met someone there.”

As you tip your head at him curiously, he adds, “I mean, you haven’t come home in so long, I’m sure you had someone keep you company while you were gone. Some friends, you know. A boyfriend?”

You haven’t come home in so long. The sentiment echoes in your chest. Did he mean Mondstadt? Or did he mean himself? Surely not the latter. When you originally set out for Liyue, he’d had feelings for you, you know that much. But it’s been years. Surely he doesn’t still…?

“I’ve met a fair share of people, yes. Some more peculiar than others. None more peculiar than you, though.”

“You think I’m peculiar?”

“Obviously. No other explanation for why you’re wearing such tight pants at a festival designed to make you eat a lot.”

“Oh, my dear, you know that if I’m not the hottest person in a venue, I will simply die.”

“Considering your cryo vision… You may want to rethink that sentiment. I do believe Diluc is the hottest one in this venue.”

His nose crinkles at the mention of Diluc. “You know he’s dating Jean now? You don’t stand a chance.”

“I don’t want a chance.” Not with Diluc, anyway. The more you talk to you old friend, the more apparent it is that the tables have turned. Maybe it’s the festival lights and aura. Maybe it’s the rare outfit he dons, or the time it’s been since you last saw that sharp-edged smile. “Are you done eating? I want to see some of the booths.”

The night progresses. Kaeya shortens his steps to match your pace, you can tell that much. It’s like he’s afraid your feet will blister, despite you wearing these exact shoes to travel all over the gigantic mountainous landscape of Liyue. He buys two of everything, handing the boxes of food and trinkets to you as he pays for them and smiles gently at the sellers. He spends the night attached to your hip, playing all the silly little games your heart desires, stopping to watch performances with you while making sure no one stands in your line of sight. 

And when you’re not looking, his hands hover. They hover over your own hand, over the small of your back. 

Maybe it’s the festival lights and aura. Maybe it’s the time it’s been since he last saw you anywhere other than his dreams. 

Maybe… He never stopped loving you at all.

[starryhyuck]

just like magic. (m)

pairing: fuckboy!jaehyun x fuckgirl!reader

words: 4k+

summary: jung jaehyun’s body count is almost as high as yours. however, after yuta spreads a nasty rumor, you learn that jaehyun’s always imagined those girls to be you instead.

genre: fluff, smut

warnings: multiple sex partners, public sex, sex on the roof, multiple orgasms, degradation, wall sex, creampie

Your head rests on the bathroom mirror, inhaling and exhaling loudly as Mingyu finds a wipe to clean you up.

“Ugh. I can’t believe we did it in Bambam’s gross bathroom.”

Mingyu chuckles, the deep sound echoing in the small space. “Please. Don’t act like you’re so disgusted now.” You roll your eyes at his comment while he cleans the cum smeared on the inside of your thighs. “Besides, it’s not like you were having fun at the party anyways.”

You shrug and jump down from the sink, straightening out your skirt and trying to look somewhat presentable.

“True,” you murmur, fixing your hair in the mirror. “Jungkook couldn’t come tonight so it was way easier to find you.”

He scoffs. “As if Jungkook could fuck you better than me.”

You laugh and find the lipgloss sitting at the bottom of your bag. “Oh, he can. He’s not a little gym rat for nothing, you know.”

Mingyu huffs, leaning down to pull your panties back up and straightening your skirt. This scene isn’t unfamiliar to the both of you, although doing it in Bambam’s bathroom certainly was. You’re pretty sure Bambam smoked a shit ton of weed before his party started, and Mingyu opens the bathroom window to release some of the odor.

“See you in 104. Did you finish the extra credit paper already?”

You shook your head, opening the bathroom door and hearing the lively party continue downstairs.

“Nope, not planning to,” you give him one last kiss on the cheek. “Nice fuck, Gyu. Tell Jungkook to show up next time.”

He rolls his eyes again and you two depart, almost toppling over as you bump into Jung Jaehyun on the stairs. His arm quickly slides around your waist to prevent you from falling. He smiles at you.

“How was Mingyu?”

“How was Jennie?”

He chuckles. “Good. As always. You really have to start expanding your little black book. Mingyu and Jungkook aren’t always going to be around, you know.”

You raise an eyebrow and step away from him, shooing his arm away from you. “You don’t think I have backups, silly? Doyoung is at my beck and call, I assure you.”

He smirks, raising his red solo cup to you. “If you ever need me.”

You dismiss him, walking down the stairway of Bambam and Yugyeom’s place. You and Jaehyun had always been similar in many ways, especially in the way you ‘connect’ with other people. If you two ever had a body count competition, it would surely have Johnny’s head spinning all night at the numbers. You never fucked Jaehyun, however, simply because you had no desire to. You’ve known Jaehyun for as long as you’ve known Mingyu, but the only personality trait you’ve ever deducted from Jaehyun was that he’s excellent in bed.

That, and the fact that during your first year of college, Yuta spread some rumor that Jaehyun masturbates to the thought of you.

No big deal.

You find Minghao and Sicheng speaking in the kitchen, and you whine when you clutch Minghao’s arm.

“I’m tired, Hao.”

“You leave us to go fuck Mingyu for a hour and now you want to go home?”

You can hear the condescending tone in Minghao’s voice and you do your best to ignore it. You offer him your best toothy grin. “Come on, designated driver. You’re not even doing anything remotely fun!”

“Hey!” Sicheng interjects. “We were actually just talking.”

You lean over to pinch his cheeks and Sicheng nearly growls at you.

“You’re cute, but you and Minghao talk all the time. Nothing new. Plus, all of us are roommates, dumbass! We could talk at home any time we want to.”

“Fine, fine,” Minghao concedes, laying his cup down on the kitchen counter. You ignore the fact that Yugyeom’s tongue is shoved down some girl’s throat only five feet away from all of you. “Did you already clean yourself up? I don’t want any of Mingyu’s germs in my car.”

“Are we sure it was Mingyu?” Sicheng counters. “It could’ve been Jungkook or Doyoung or Wonwoo or Jinyoung or-“

“Alright, alright,” you glare at him. “And yes, it was Mingyu. He already cleaned me up so you won’t get any Gyu germs.”

“Good.”

Minghao still has trouble trusting you after that one time you wore a skirt with no panties and let Kun’s cum spill all over Minghao’s front seat. Sicheng is still extremely traumatized from the situation.

You exit the house party with your roommates, almost stopping at the sight of Kunhang looking like a fucking dream near the speakers-

“Come on, you horny asshole,” Sicheng grunts, pushing you out the door.

—

“Did you hear the news?”

Your eyes flutter at the sight of Nakamoto Yuta, who is leaning over your desk, smiling. You sigh and decide to entertain him.

“What is it now, Yuta?”

“A little birdy told me that a certain Jung Jaehyun has fallen for Mingyu’s girl,” Yuta’s smirk widens when you furrow your eyebrows.

“Mingyu has a girlfriend?”

He huffs. “You, dumbass.”

You giggle at the thought of dating Mingyu and roll your eyes. “You’re full of shit, Nakamoto.”

He stands straight, his figure towering over you. You peek your head out to see if the lecture has started yet so Yuta can get the fuck away from you.

“Then why did I hear Jaehyun calling your name when he was getting his dick wet this morning?”

The accusation has your eyebrows raising. You barely know Jaehyun, only from fleeting stories from Mingyu and Jungkook. You also know that Yuta’s always full of shit, spreading rumors about various people just because he can.

“Get your head out of your ass, Yuta.”

He laughs at your dismissive nature, leaning in again. There’s a troublesome glint in his eyes.

“And what if I told you Mingyu said Jaehyun’s loved you since you were five?”

You challenge him. “I would say that the cum in Miyeon’s panties say otherwise.”

He smiles and steps back when the professor finally enters the room.

“Whatever you want to believe.”

That conversation with Yuta was three years ago. He’s graduated long since, but the rumor about Jaehyun still pops up here and there. Jaehyun never addressed it with you, and when you asked Mingyu about it once, he just laughed.

“A lot of guys on campus jack off to the thought of you. Are you surprised?”

You think about the memory as you watch Soojin straddle Jaehyun, her hair falling over the side of her face as she leans in to kiss him. The rest of the party ignores them, mainly focused on how Bambam is nearly toppling over trying to do a keg stand.

A hand slides around your waist and you feel someone’s lips attach to your neck.

“Gyu told me you were looking for me the other day,” Jungkook murmurs lowly in your ear. “Did you miss me?”

You smile when you feel his fingers inch closer to your breast, hands roaming all over your body.

“Yes. Your absence made me fuck Mingyu in Bambam’s germ-covered bathroom.”

He chuckles lowly, and the sound shoots straight to your core.

“I’m here now, baby. I’ll take care of you.”

Your eyes drift upwards again, startled to find Jaehyun already gazing at you. Soojin’s sucking at his neck, but his eyes are locked on you, watching the way Jungkook paws at your breast.

Yuta’s voice rings in your ears. Jaehyun’s loved you since you were five.

You push the thought away as Jungkook’s mouth envelops yours. Jaehyun couldn’t love you, Yuta was just full of shit.

—

“You’re late.”

You narrow your eyes at Mingyu, who brushes off the time. He promised to meet up with you yesterday to finish your project for 104 and give you a quick lunch time fuck. You’re a little disheartened to see he’s tugged Doyoung and Jaehyun along.

“Don’t be so upset, frowning doesn’t look good on you,” Mingyu teases, sliding in the chair across from you. Doyoung sits next to him, and Jaehyun awkwardly takes the spot next to you. “We were just playing a little basketball outside. The time slipped my mind.”

“Well, I guess it slips my mind that I’m supposed to fuck you before your next class.”

Doyoung laughs and seizes the opportunity. “I, on the other hand, never promised anything and my schedule is conveniently free for the whole day.” He winks at you, his gums showing brightly as he smiles.

You smirk when Mingyu elbows him in the side. Jaehyun is oddly quiet and you turn to face him while Mingyu hisses at Doyoung.

“I saw you and Soojin getting it on last weekend. How was it?”

He smiles tightly. “Good, as always. Jungkook per usual?”

You nod. “The little gym rat won’t stop exercising. He was talking to me about his routine all night. I almost just got myself off instead.”

Something flickers in Jaehyun’s gaze, and it’s gone so quickly that you might’ve missed it.

“I can’t imagine why that would be preferred, especially when you have most of the male population lining up to get a taste of you.”

There’s a hidden implication in his words, and you take the chance.

“Are you part of that male population?”

He smirks at your question. Before he has a chance to answer, Mingyu’s voice fills your ears again.

“Anyways, my dorm is free and I can afford to miss my next class. Wanna head up? Promise I’ll go down on you as an apology.”

You scoff at Mingyu’s half-assed proposal, and stand to leave. “I’ll pass. Get a watch next time if you want your dick wet. I’m assuming you’re going to finish most of our project since I was waiting here for over a hour.”

Mingyu frowns. “But-“

“But?” You say, raising an eyebrow.

His shoulders slump. “Fine. I’ll finish the damn project.”

You lean over to pinch his cheeks. “Good Mingyu. I’ll see all of you at Minghao’s birthday bash.”

You depart without another word, ignoring the burn of Jaehyun’s stare. When you arrive back to your apartment, Minghao is organizing his wine cabinet while Sicheng talks to Tzuyu at the kitchen counter. You sigh and throw your bag across the island.

“Boys are dumb.”

Tzuyu laughs. “Did Mingyu forget what time it is again?”

“As always,” you confirm, searching for anything consumable in your fridge. As expected, no one’s gone grocery shopping in a week. Guess you’ll have to raid Wonwoo’s apartment tonight.

Sicheng huffs. “Good. I don’t need you getting any more Mingyu germs before Minghao’s party tomorrow.”

“And what does Hao’s party have anything to do with me getting laid?” Sicheng rolls his eyes at your question, and you smile sweetly at him. You decide to favor the leftover pieces of ham sitting at the back of the fridge. “Tzuyu, back me up here. Didn’t you have a good time with Jaehyun two weeks ago?”

Tzuyu’s cheeks flush as she recalls what you’re referring to. At Jungwoo’s party, she and Jaehyun were practically fucking each other in the middle of the living room.

“I guess. He was weird about some things.”

You frown, removing the lid off of the container and shoving a piece of ham in your mouth. “Like what?”

She looks embarrassed to be talking about such intimate things in front of Sicheng, but your roommate is unbothered. He’s heard enough of your escapades to be unfazed by any mentions of sex.

“He didn’t want to look at me when we did it. He told me I had to face the pillow or else he couldn’t cum that way.”

You shrug. “So he likes it from behind. Nothing too weird about that. Which way do you prefer, Sicheng?”

He glares at you. “None of your business.”

You giggle at how cute he is before Tzuyu continues. “I mean, it wasn’t just that. He didn’t really like it when I made noises. I had to be as quiet as possible.”

“Ugh, that’s fucked. Guys can grunt in the nastiest ways possible but they hate it when we make an ounce of noise. I hope you’re not that way, Sicheng.”

His glare burns. “None. Of. Your. Business.”

“Yeah, it was weird. He’s really good in bed though.”

You chuckle. “I would hope so. Anyways, who’s on the guest list for tomorrow night?”

Sicheng sighs, and you wonder if he thinks about moving out and living with a less horny roommate.

“Basically anyone you’ve fucked before since you’ve slept with all of Hao’s friends.”

You frown. “That’s not fun. I like someone new once in a while.”

“No funny business at Minghao’s party, I mean it. We can’t be cutting his cake while you’re getting railed in your room.”

You boop his nose. “No promises.”

—

Sicheng’s done this on purpose.

All of the men at Minghao’s party have flocked away from you, like Sicheng sent them all a mass text before the party started or something. You tried to slide up to Mingyu but then he was quickly taking the offer to do body shots with someone else. It’s as if you would bite all their dicks off with the way they’re running from you.

It’s the middle of the party when you grow tired of hearing Jieqiong’s banter with Jun.

You step out of the apartment for a few minutes and head up to the roof, arms wrapping around yourself to shield from the cold. You know you should’ve went to Wonwoo yesterday, especially since Sicheng has apparently made it a no fuck zone for tonight.

You jump when you feel a jacket moving over your shoulders. You’re even more startled to see Jaehyun next to you.

“Oh, hey. When did you get here?”

He smiles, and it hurts your eyes a little by how pretty he is.

“About a hour ago. I’m not surprised you didn’t notice, considering I could feel your rage from five feet away.”

You laugh dryly. “Did Sicheng send you a text too?”

“No, but Mingyu told me about it. I assume he only sent it to the guys you’ve slept with before.”

You nod. “Yeah, probably. I’m off limits to all males tonight.”

The two of you stand together in silence, gazing out at the view of your city. You’ve never felt an urge to get an answer from Jaehyun before about Yuta’s rumor, but now that he’s here, it’s all you can think about.

“Can I ask you a question?”

“Sure.”

“Why didn’t you say anything about the rumor Yuta spread around in freshman year?”

His back stiffens. The seconds pass in a deafening thump, and you’re starting to feel like you shouldn’t have brought it up.

He finally sighs. “How long have we known each other?”

You blink. Did he really have to respond to a question with another question?

You think back to when you first met Jaehyun and Mingyu. You were only five then, and you screamed in the middle of the classroom because Mingyu had spilled paint all over the front of your shirt. You remember Jaehyun handing you a wipe to clean yourself up, ears bright red.

You grin at the memory. “Since I found out Mingyu was the clumsiest kid on earth.”

He chuckles. “You never really saw it, did you?”

“Saw what?”

You’re even more confused by Jaehyun’s vague ass answers. He averts his gaze from you, and you suddenly feel a lot colder on this rooftop.

“How much I liked you.”

The statement causes you to freeze. So Yuta was right - Jung Jaehyun has loved you since you were five. Still, it doesn’t make any sense. You’ve been fucking Mingyu since high school and Jaehyun never seemed bothered by it, considering he and Mingyu were still best friends. In fact, you’ve been in bed with most of his friend group and he’s never said a word about it. His friends never even mention his liking for you, so you have to assume that they don’t know of it either.

As if he could sense your rampant thoughts running wild, he squashes them.

“I thought you loved Mingyu. I thought that when the two of you first started sleeping together, it would develop into something more. It’s why I never said anything to him. He knew, but I’m sure he thought I didn’t mind.”

You’re baffled. You don’t even know how to respond to this newfound information. Maybe you should’ve stayed downstairs at the party.

“Mingyu is an asshole,” you finally conclude. Jaehyun’s shoulders relax when you speak. “And so am I. I swear, I didn’t know, Jaehyun. I would’ve-“

“You would’ve stopped seeing Mingyu? And Jungkook? And Doyoung, and Wonwoo, and-“

“Okay, okay,” you raise a hand up to stop him before glaring. “You’re not entirely innocent either. I’m friends with most of the girls you’ve slept with too.”

His eyes darken. “And have you asked them what it’s like to be with me? How I have to turn them over and imagine it’s you before I can get hard? How I have to keep them quiet because their moans are too loud or simply because it doesn’t sound like you?” How-“

“Jaehyun,” you whisper, feeling like the wind has gotten knocked out of your chest. You’re also trying to ignore the wetness that’s pooled in your underwear. “Are you saying-“

“I’m saying that I’ve been running circles around you since we were five and you’ve never noticed. I’ve had to hear countless nights of Mingyu and Jungkook talking about how sweet your pussy is when they slide into you. How pretty you are when you’re stuffing their cocks far down your throat. How you let them take you anywhere, any time, because you enjoy it as much as they do.”

You swallow. He’s inches away from you now, hands dancing around your waist carefully. You quickly check the time.

One hour before Minghao cuts his cake. That should be enough.

You grab the fabric of Jaehyun’s shirt, pulling him to you as his lips crash into yours. He grunts, gripping your sides and pressing you against the railing. Your eyes glance down briefly to see how high up you two are.

“Drop me and I’ll kill you.”

He laughs, chasing you again and quickly moving to undress you. You ignore the goosebumps rising on your arms when Jaehyun nips at your neck, fingers dipping into your panties. “So pretty,” he murmurs, licking a stripe across your collarbones. You moan when he slides a finger into your heat. “That’s it, baby. Sound so fucking good.”

He slips another finger in, basking in the glory of your moans. “We have to hurry,” you mumble breathily. “Sicheng will come looking if he knows I’m gone for too long. It’s like he can sense when I’m fucking someone.”

Jaehyun laughs, moving back up to kiss you. “He can watch if he wants to then.”

“I wanna-“ you gasp when he curls his fingers. “I wanna suck you off.”

“Fuck,” he hisses. He’s fingering you faster now, and you can hear the squelch of your wetness fill the air. You gasp, desperately holding onto his forearm. “I’ll fuck your mouth next time, I promise. I need to see you cum now.”

You unravel in no time, moaning loudly as you fall apart on Jaehyun’s fingers. He coaxes you through your orgasm, murmuring praises in your ear. You whimper when he pulls away from you, licking up the remaining essence on his fingers.

“Jaehyun,” you say frantically, pawing at him. “I need you inside me.”

You turn over so that your back is facing him, and you think he’s about to slide your underwear down but instead, he swivels you around.

“Need to see you,” he whispers. “Jump.”

You do as he says, wrapping your legs around his waist and kissing him with much more fervor. You moan when his hands grip your sides roughly, pressing you against the concrete. You sit on the ledge of the rooftop, trying to ignore the genuine fear of falling.

He’s quickly shoving his jeans down his thighs and you whimper.

“Hurry, Jae.”

“Fuck, baby. I’m here, I’m right here,” he hisses, pulling out his cock and giving it a few strokes. Your eyes widen at the size — he was surely bigger and thicker than Mingyu or Jungkook. He chuckles at your stare, as if he knows exactly what you’re thinking. “Bigger than what you normally have?”

You narrow your eyes. “Don’t tell me you idiots had a dick measuring contest.”

He shrugs. “Maybe.”

Then, he’s pushing your panties to the side and sliding into you. You gasp, his fingers roughly gripping you in place to make sure you don’t fall. He doesn’t wait for you to adjust, thrusting rapidly as soon as he feels you.

“Good little slut,” he grunts. “So pretty and pliant for me. Is my cock too big for you to take, baby?”

“You’re gonna fucking,” you pant, whining when his cock hits you deeper. “You’re gonna fucking split me in half, asshole.”

He grins mischievously. “That’s the goal.”

You’re so lost in the feeling of him that the both of you fail to hear the door to the rooftop open. You’re startled when Sicheng’s voice booms in the air.

“You’ve got to be fucking kidding me! We haven’t even cut the cake yet!”

“Sicheng, I-“ you shamelessly whimper when Jaehyun hits your sweet spot, not slowing down in the slightest despite Sicheng watching. “W-We’ll be d-down before Hao c-cuts the cake.”

“Horny assholes,” you hear your roommate mutter before the door to the rooftop is closing again.

Jaehyun chortles. “He should’ve sent that text to me too if he was so concerned.”

“Fuck him,” you groan. “And fuck me harder.”

He listens to your command, pushing into you so deep that you almost fall off the ledge. You scream as your upper body dangles off the rooftop, but you can hear Jaehyun’s giggle. Your fear is overtaken by arousal when you realize his cock is hitting you deeper in this position.

“Cum, cum,” you whisper. “I’m cumming.”

He groans when you tighten around him, convulsing around his cock. When you recover, he’s hoisting you back up, bringing your chest to his as he carries you. You have no idea where he’s going, but with every step, his cock slides deeper into your soaking cunt.

The door to the rooftop is opening again and you realize you’re in the stairwell.

“Get down, hands on the railing.”

You shakily follow his command, ignoring the wobble of your legs as you grip the metal bars. He’s pushing into you again before you can take a breath.

“I-I thought you needed to see me,” you say, your back turned to him.

“You’re right.”

Then, he’s pushing you against the wall with force and abusing your pussy. You practically scream, clawing at his back while he pounds you into the wall.

“Do you want to know exactly what Yuta heard three years ago?” He groans against your neck. You can barely form coherent sentences, and you’re pretty sure you had another orgasm that you haven’t even revived from. “He heard me desperately fucking my cock into my hand, whimpering your name. All I could imagine that day was the little short dress you wore to Yugyeom’s party, and how Jungkook’s hands were all over you as soon as you stepped through the door. I fucking came so hard that I had to wash my sheets before Mingyu came back to the dorm.”

“Jaehyun, Jaehyun,” you whisper frantically. You’re unraveling again — cumming around his cock while he fucks you hard. “Cum with me. Inside, cum inside. Please, please.”

He grunts lowly. “Yeah? You want my cum? What about the rest of them — how many of them have spilled inside you?”

“I’ll keep it in,” you promise him, just wanting your hole to be filled. “I’ll walk around Hao’s party with your cum dripping down my thighs. How does that sound?”

And he’s groaning, giving one final thrust before he empties inside of you. You gasp at how much cum he has to give you, some of it spilling down your lips and onto the floor.

The both of you are panting lowly, trying to recover from your orgasms. You faintly hear a chorus of people singing Happy Birthday two floors down.

“Fuck, Sicheng’s gonna kill us.”

[saezurufeels]

When things get hard

I find it really interesting that Doumeki tried so hard to hide his desire and arousal for Yashiro, thinking that if Y found out, he would kick Doumeki out of his life. Initially, and for a long time, I thought that was such a silly belief. Why would Yashiro care if Doumeki got hard, as long as he didn't admit his feelings? Yashiro likes sex, right?

But the first thing that struck me in those panels following Y's discovery of Doumeki's erection was the fact that YK either chose not to reveal Yashiro's expression, or if she did, to portray him with a shocked expression, and something that I interpret as resignation. Whatever is going through Yashiro's head, it definitely does not look like joy or excitement. I put together a collage of Yashiro's portrayals in that scene to show exactly what I mean:

So even before Doumeki admitted his feelings in chapter 23, Yashiro's reaction to D's cured impotence was, you could say, uncharacteristic of him. At the very least, D getting his erection back shouldn't have been a surprise to Yashiro. The two of them had been getting frisky in the days leading up to this point in Doumeki's bedroom, and whether Yashiro wants to admit it or not, Doumeki was actively participating in those frisk sessions.

As we know, right after this discovery, Doumeki refused Yashiro's request to have sex, leading to the shower-confession scene. Now, a lot of things happened in the shower, but the specific aspect I want to discuss is the meaning behind this exchange:

D: Am I something to be that afraid of?

Y: No, it's not you. It's me that...

D: If losing me scares you that much, then why are you so afraid of being with me right now?

Y: [read pic below]

It's easy to forget this dialogue in the storm of everything that came before and after it, but to me this suggests that there is a deeper meaning behind why Yashiro was disappointed that Doumeki got hard.

I started to think back to all of the instances Yashiro expressed his attachment to Doumeki's impotence. In the very first chapter he asks Doumeki if he can suck his dick, and when Doumeki was about to remind him that he can't get hard, Yashiro cuts him off and says, "it's okay. It's good that you don't get hard." So then as time went on, Yashiro continued to suck on Doumeki's "limp" dick, and even pleasured himself while doing so. In fact, I think this habit became a replacement for sex for Yashiro.

I started looking at this early scene in chapter 2 differently, too:

Initially it seemed like having Doumeki watch was just a kinky thing Y liked to do. But Yashiro isn't even looking up at Doumeki's face to see his reaction. Instead, he's eye-level with Doumeki's crotch. It seems like D&Y are perfectly positioned for Yashiro to observe whether Doumeki will get hard. When the sex is over, and despite being exhausted, Yashiro looks straight ahead as if to confirm something. Then contently, he simply tells Doumeki, "I can't go out anymore today, so go help Nanahara:"

Then of course, there is Yashiro's internal monologue in chapter 23. Like with the shower scene that came after it, a lot of things happen here. Yashiro realizes he's angry, but doesn't understand why. In his head he begins running through all the possibilities.

There's a lot that can be said about Yashiro's emotional confusion in that scene, but since I'm focusing on Doumeki's impotence, I collected the relevant pieces of thought and put them in order-- actually, they occur in this exact order, but I left out one panel where Yashiro ruminates other possibilities for his anger. Anyways, you can read this from left to right, top to bottom:

The most important takeaway from this sequence of thoughts is Yashiro's question of whether his anger comes from being "the one turning [Doumeki] on." Although Y immediately tries to deny it to himself, by affirming that he loves having sex with men, he still can't ignore that that thought has been on his mind.

Overall, there is a suggestion that Yashiro finds comfort in the fact that he doesn't turn Doumeki on, but the question is why?

Yashiro thinks of himself as perverted, masochistic, and twisted because he likes to have rough sex with anyone that's willing to do it-- and most people in his environment are. But Doumeki didn't show that kind of interest in the beginning. For Yashiro that must have felt like a breath of fresh air. In fact, Yashiro describes D's impotence as a relief in chapter 22:

Finally someone that doesn't see Yashiro as something to use and abuse. A small confirmation that Yashiro isn't the cause of his own misery, for being sexually attractive, or for being promiscuous and flirtatious. Here is a man, whom Yashiro tried to arouse many times, in many different ways (see above lol), and yet, Doumeki still didn't get hard. Maybe it wasn't Yashiro's essence that caused people to abuse him; maybe he isn't as twisted as he thought he was. No wonder he felt relieved. His self-perception must have improved dramatically while Doumeki was impotent.

When Doumeki did get hard, Yashiro got upset that he took away the comfort Y felt with him. Yashiro was left with the confirmation that he is to blame for D's erection, and that he is twisted, after all.

When Doumeki asked Yashiro why he refuses to be with him if he's afraid of losing him, Yashiro answers, "it's all because you got hard." In other words, Yashiro believes he will lose Doumeki when D realizes how corrupted Yashiro is.

Of course I can't help but feel that this fear of opening up to Doumeki, and showing his true self is related to Yashiro's fear of loneliness. After all, not only did Kageyama "leave" him, but so did his mother and step father. Everyone eventually leaves; and why else, if not for his personal flaws, his perverseness? Or so that's how Yashiro interprets it in his mind. And why wouldn't he? He's only human.

It's as Nanahara said, Yashiro's perception of sex has been twisted because of his abuse. Yashiro doesn't see sex as an act of mutual love and respect. Sex is a mechanical process of control and possession; it's a means to an end-- financial, or political. It can't exist for anything but that for Yashiro, and even at the suggestion otherwise, things come shattering down in his world.

I just wanna end this by saying that ofc I think things could take a different turn by the end of the story, cause lucky for you bitches I'm not the one writing it lol. But I thought it was worth exploring this topic 😊

[miraculouscontent]

A Change of Heart (post-”Miraculous New York”)

"Kaalki, divide!"

Ladybug felt Kaalki's light wash over her, the kwami emerging and flying a small distance away. They were up on one of the rooftops in New York, overlooking an interview that was happening on the street.

Kaalki hummed in interest, taking the time to see the tall buildings. "What a grand city." Then, her gaze dropped down and she squinted, adding with distaste, "Quite crowded though."

"There's an interview going on right now. That's why. One of their supervillains was just taken down," Ladybug explained, placing her foot up on the edge of the building and peering down to look at the crowd.

"And, what precisely are we here for?" Kaalki asked, hovering near Ladybug's face to follow her gaze.

"Not what, but who. We’re here to see Eagle," Ladybug answered, pointing at the eagle-themed superheroine being interviewed. The crowd was enthusiastically cheering at just about every answer Eagle was giving, and Ladybug couldn't help smiling at the fact that the person she gave the miraculous to was still doing well.

As the interview came to an end, Eagle's eyes shifted from the interviewer to Ladybug, who had made sure to be where the red-and-black of her suit would stand out; she wasn't exactly the definition of "stealthy," and it worked to her advantage in this case.

Eagle jumped up to the nearest rooftop, then waited for the crowd to disperse before leaping over to where Ladybug was. "Hey, Ladybug! What are you doing here?" Her brows creased in seriousness, and she held her fists up like she was raring for a fight. "Did Hawk Moth come back to New York?"

Ladybug waved dismissively. "No, no, it's nothing like—"

"Pardon me," Kaalki said, making sure she was loud enough to be heard. She puffed her chest out haughtily and gestured to herself with a hoof. "I'm Kaalki, the kwami of migration. Pleased to meet you," she said, her tone forced as to imply that she didn't appreciate being ignored.

"Uh... hi," Eagle greeted flatly, then looked to Ladybug for an explanation.

"Sorry about her. She was my ride." Grabbing Eagle's wrist and leading her to the center of the rooftop, where they were less likely to be seen from the streets, she explained, "Anyway, I came here because I was hoping that I could get your help."

Eagle leaned to the side, curious. "My help? What for?"

"Well..." Ladybug hesitated. "This is going to sound like a weird request, but..."

—————

Eagle crossed her arms in thought, still seemingly absorbing the explanation. "You want me to use Liberation on you? To get rid of your—"

"—romantic attachments," Ladybug cut in stiffly, the word 'crush' and 'love' sounding extremely un-Ladybug-like. She blushed in embarrassment and looked away, bringing a hand up to partly hide her face. "Listen, I know you probably don't get this sort of thing. It's already awkward to talk about it while I'm Ladybug, but—"

"No, I get it," Eagle assured, though her expression was neutral.

Ladybug looked at her in surprise. "You do?"

With a slight roll of her eyes, Eagle replied, "Okay, so I don't get all the love stuff exactly, but Uncanny Valley has her own thing for me to deal with. She always wants to help people; she can't help it. Besides, Liiri says that there's always something stopping people from reaching their full potential. Sometimes it's bad, sometimes it's good, and it's my job to figure out what it is." She glanced Ladybug up and down, as if to gauge something. "You really think it's that bad?"

Ladybug responded with a wince, bad memories already starting to surface.

"Alright, wow," Eagle said, hands raised as she took a step back, the reaction having already convinced her while she herself clearly wanted no details about it. "Are you ready then? You know this is only going to last five minutes, right?"

"Wait—" Ladybug blinked in surprise. "You're really going to help me?"

"Yeah?" Eagle replied. Half-offended, she asked, "Did you really think I wouldn't?"

"No! Sorry!" Ladybug rubbed the back of her head sheepishly. "You'd be... surprised, by how bad this stuff usually goes for me."

For a moment, Eagle looked tempted to ask, but shook off the thought just as quickly. Placing her fists to her chest, her gaze went firm, showing that she was ready.

Ladybug stood in place, almost nervous at the prospect of doing this. She was essentially taking out a piece of herself, but it was the only way to test it; the only way to know for sure.

"Liberation!" Eagle called out, spreading her arms as a single light burst out of her.

Ladybug flinched, her fighting instinct kicking in, but she held firm and let the light touch her. For a moment, she was frozen, able to sense Eagle's presence in her mind and even hear her voice. Eagle's voice was calm, but tempting, offering the freedom so desperately desired.

"Ladybug, your love has taken over your life. I release you from it!"

—————

Marinette quickly stashed the glasses in her purse as she checked her phone's timer. She had four minutes and forty-five seconds to do this, and she took a steady breath before stepping out of the alley she'd been hiding in.

As she raced across the street, the fencing students were just filing out out of Françoise Dupont. The moment she saw Kagami and Adrien leaving, she raised a hand, raising her voice so she'd be heard. "Hey, Adrien!"

Adrien and Kagami stopped and glanced her way. Adrien turned to Kagami, saying something and briefly tilting his head in Marinette's direction. Kagami nodded at him in response, and they separated, Kagami heading in one direction and Adrien heading in Marinette's.

At first, Marinette was nervous, her worst case scenario being that Liberation had truly failed or worn off when she de-transformed, or that her feelings were somehow so strong or messed up that even Liberation somehow couldn't help her.

Yet, as Adrien approached, she found that she wasn't shaky at all. Her heart wasn't pounding either. She didn't even feel the slightest bit of awe from his presence.

She was normal. She was okay.

"Hey, Marinette," Adrien greeted with a smile. "Did you need something?"

It took her a moment to answer, still stunned that it'd worked and she'd truly been freed of her crush, even if it was for five minutes. "Oh. No, actually, just..." She reached into her purse and pulled out her phone, checking the time, then kept it at her side as she asked genuinely, "How was fencing?"

Adrien looked briefly caught off guard, though whether he was surprised at her acting differently or just the question was anyone's guess. He then brightened, replying excitedly, "It was great! I got paired up with Kagami again, and you know how Mr. D'Argencourt is with fencing, so he..."

The conversation continued as nothing but casual from there, and Marinette almost felt silly at how amazed she was by such a simple thing. It was actually like she was Adrien's friend; like they were on the same page and she could actually hold a conversation with him. He looked and talked the same way he always did, yet she was perfectly fine. Students passed by and maybe tossed them a brief glance, but completely ignored them otherwise because she wasn't acting "weird."

At worst, she was grinning just a little wider out of the pleasant surprise of the whole thing.

When she'd first thought to "liberate" herself of her feelings for Adrien, she was certain she'd be disappointed by it. She honestly thought that she would see Adrien and miss the heart fluttering, the weak knees, and the sheer dreaminess he used to radiate.

But she was wrong. With her crush gone, she could see herself from an outside perspective and reflect without fretting over the things she would've otherwise. Where she thought there'd be disappointment, there was relief that she could actually breathe and not turn into a mess around him. Her mind wasn't clouded with thoughts, and her eyes could drift wherever she wanted without some brainless thought intruding and warning her that she might miss Adrien blinking if she looked away.

She'd needed this. It was nice; more than nice even. Is this how it could be all the time if she truly moved on from him? No more mocking, no more jealousy, no more "crazy Marinette"? It'd be like a celebrity crush that she grew out of; an embarrassing memory of the past and nothing more.

More importantly, she would remember this. She would remember this feeling; the sanity of not being in love with Adrien, or not feeling whatever that emotion was actually called. To say the word "love" seemed so... wrong.

Still mid-discussion with Adrien, Marinette's phone suddenly beeped with a warning message. She turned it in her hand, seeing that she'd properly set the timer earlier to warn her when there was a minute and half left of Liberation.

Adrien leaned over to look at the screen, but jumped when a loud honking noise abruptly sounded off from behind him. Marinette tried not to snicker, but it was difficult; seeing someone else be the jumpy one was quite the experience, and she'd have to remember that too.

Adrien looked over his shoulder at his limo waiting for him, then glanced back at her apologetically. "Sorry, I gotta go. Can we talk later?"

"Oh, sure! Definitely!" Marinette stashed her phone back in her purse, then waved to him. "See you tomorrow!"

"Bye, Marinette!" Adrien exclaimed, waving as he rushed off. "It was fun talking to you!"

"You too!"

Marinette pursed her lips, trying to contain herself as she watched Adrien get into the limo and ride off down the street. She waited until it was out of earshot, then let herself start squealing, even hopping around and doing a twirl for effect.

"M-marinette?!" Tikki called, concerned. "Did it wear off? There's still time—"

"I'm gonna delete all my Adrien pictures!" Marinette exclaimed. "And take down that disaster of a wallpaper!"

"W-wHA—!!" Tikki gaped. "Marinette, when your feelings come back—"

"That's future Marinette's problem! This feels great!" Marinette cheered, having to suppress her excitement just so she could talk. Raising one hand dramatically, she placed the other to her chest, saying to no one in particular, "Oh, what's that? Me, crushing on Adrien? Ew, no way! We're just friends!"

She laughed triumphantly, a bounce in her step that made it seem almost like she were jogging. She crossed the street, reaching for the bakery door's handle and practically singing to herself, "Just friends~ We're just friends~ Me and Ad~ri~en are just good—"

She paused as she opened the door, seeing a familiar mix of blue and black standing at the counter and talking to her parents. At the chime of the bell, all three looked over at her, Luka's smile welcoming and his lips partially coated in white from what seemed to be a powdered donut.

"Hey, Marinette," he greeted. "We were just talking about you."

"Oh, he's such a sweetheart," Sabine cooed. "He came all the way here just to see you."

Luka blushed a light shade of pink at the obvious teasing, Tom jumping in to exclaim, "And he really thought he had to pay us for sweets! I told him, you're friends with our daughter, you better not put a single coin on that counter, young man!"

The three had a laugh together; clearly, they'd been getting along before she came in.

Yet, Marinette's smile fell from her face, a mental 'oh' echoing in her mind.

She hadn't even considered Luka when she'd thought of taking away her crush on Adrien, but it made sense; Eagle had said love, and Marinette wasn't foolish enough to think that she hadn't felt anything romantic for Luka. It only made sense that her crush on him would go too.

But it wasn't the same. The relief didn't follow the lack of feeling. With Luka, there'd always be a little leap in her heart, then a wave of calm washing over her, but neither were there and she couldn't help feeling disappointed.

Luka's smile disappeared as he noticed her expression. He approached, concern written all over his features. "Marinette?"

They were friends at that very moment; that was all the feeling she had on the matter, but she wanted what she'd had before. She remembered his confession at the TV station and yearned for the warmth in her cheeks when he stared at her and told her how much he loved her with words that were entirely his own; words that told her that he loved her as herself and filled her with a confidence she seldom had outside of being Ladybug.

Everything clicked. Her crush on Adrien represented stress, anxiety, and losing herself, but her crush on Luka represented peace, happiness, and being herself.

She missed how she felt about Luka. She didn't miss how she felt about Adrien.

That was all the answer she needed.

Almost on cue, her phone beeped again, this time to signal that Liberation was over. Marinette took in a shaky breath as she felt pleasantly familiar emotions rush through her again, and she welcomed them back like she would an old friend.

Luka's blue eyes gained vibrance and allure, his lips being coated in powdered sugar suddenly became incredibly cute, and she could think of him as no less than the most handsome boy in the world.

"...Sorry," she said breathlessly, waving a hand to assure him that she was alright. "Let's just say I went through a lot of emotions today. I'm happy to see you, really!"

Luka's smile came back, filling her with its warmth. "I'm glad," he said in relief. Then, taking a glance at her purse, which was still letting out a muffled, melodic beeping noise, he asked, "Sorry, do you have to be somewhere?"

"Hm? Oh, no, not really." She took out her phone to shut off the timer, then flashed him the screen before closing the app and storing the phone back in her purse. That done, she paused to consider things, then dared a glance back at him. "Hey... can we walk for a while?"

He blinked, mildly surprised, but nodded. "Sure. Did—" He froze, apparently only now realizing that he had powdered sugar on his lips. He swished his tongue around to lick it off, then started over with, "Did you want to talk about something?"

Smiling almost smugly in response, she felt confident enough to offer him her arm, as if he were a damsel she was leading around. She'd never seen his eyes widen quite so much before, but he also didn't protest, happily taking hold of her arm.

Knowing that her parents would just be giving their looks of approval if she glanced back, she stepped out of the bakery and led Luka towards the park.

"So, it took a little longer than I hoped, but... do you remember when you were talking about me getting clarity?"

[captnjacksparrow]

hiii! in your blog title/description you say that the only characters you hate are danzo, sakura and hinata. & i was wondering if you could maybe show the differences and similarities between hinata & sakura? disclaimer: i don’t like either of them, but i always see fans argue over who is better, while im in the back watching them, thinking, that neither is better and that they’re both bad. i see people defend hinata by pointing out sakuras mistakes and flaws and then i laugh cause i can’t take it seriously since hinata has done the exact same thing. or sakura fans try to defend sakura by calling hinata a creep who’s whole world revolves around naruto while sakura is the same way too 😩 i think it’s funny how some fans fight with each other about these BOTH useless characters. at the end of the day neither of them had little to no impact to the story but they will fight with their life to “debunk” the other persons arguments, while in reality they’re both just as bad. they have more in common than they think they do but they will act as if their favorite character is so much better and so different, when in fact, they’re both the same.

An Ask full of frustrations😄 and I totally get it....

DIFFERENCE AND SIMILARITIES BETWEEN HINATA AND SAKURA

***Rolling up my Sleeves**** Let’s see the difference first... (I didn’t attach any panels for differences... but for Similarities I did though)

-

Hinata is Shy whereas Sakura is Brash.

Hinata has no opinions or shown to have any intelligence whereas Sakura has opinions (not in front of Sasuke) and has shown some intelligence.

Hinata is not Abusive whereas Sakura is totally Abusive as fuck.

Hinata is not someone to display Jealousy if girls show any interest in Naruto whereas Sakura would burn everyone...

Hinata is a silent Stalker and Sakura openly chased Sasuke to no end.

Hinata was never shown to be appreciated by other Characters for her skills whereas Sakura was appreciated by Kakashi for her Chakra Control & Granny Chiyo for her Medical Skills. [[Naruto’s appreciation doesn’t count...]]

Hinata has a Backstory whereas Sakura’s parents were not even drawn.

Hinata never had any confident on herself whereas Sakura was an Over-Confident buffoon who thinks that she could influence N and S with her feelings...

Hinata is not a Blushing Mess around Naruto in Next Generation shit but Sakura still is...

Probably, that’s all, I think??? 

-

-

-

-

And the Similarities are....

Both of these Wonderful Ladies lustfully wet for their Man’s Part.....

If anyone who don’t know.... Big and Strong hands of a man is an indicative of the size of a Man’s ‘part’.... And this shit happens right under Neji’s fresh corpse... Geez!!!!!

-

-

Both would throw their own teammate under the Bus if that would fetch her Man..

Hinata planning to help Naruto in Chunin Exams at the expense of getting disqualified along with her teammates....

Sakura willing to offer up Naruto in a silver plate to Akatsuki if that would fetch her Sasuke-kun...

-

-

Both would shit on everyone’s advice and try to do some Warrior-Type shit but ends up like some silly Buffoons...

Naruto and that other Byakugan guy told her clearly to not participate in the battle... She even boldly claimed that, ‘I won’t let you lay another finger on Naruto...”.... But he ended up capturing Naruto anyway.... 

This Buffoon claimed that she could kill Sasuke and ended up getting her ass saved by Naruto.... What a wastrels!!!!!

-

-

Both irritated my ears by relentlessly yapping... ‘Naruto-Kun’ and ‘Sasuke-Kun’ like an ear-bleeding Screeching noise.... 

-

-

Both are thoroughly insensitive S-Class Assholes who are ready to shit on their Families...

This Tsukuyomi dreams are something what they deeply desired, right???? So, this is how she pictured her Family members to be... Some fucking Love cupids... Hmmmphhh

Uhhh???

-

-

Both would shit on Konoha if their buffoonery would fetch their Man.... 

Hinata-Sama.... Look around you.... The Village was obliterated... Thanks to your brave act and yet you could only worry about your Naruto-kun, eh????

So, For you.... You friend Ino, lost her Father and she might need your support... But It doesn’t matter.... The was was just over and the village might need your great Medical Skills... But it also doesn’t matter... All you need is Sasuke’s dick, eh????

-

-

Both said, ‘I want to become Stronger’ but never put any serious effort towards their Words... 

Obviously they had improved their skills to some extent.... But skilled enough to save their Man???? Well, they only have time to wet over their man.... How could they get serious about becoming stronger... It’s all just some BS to impress their man....anyways.

-

- 

Both wanted to impress their Man by doing Clown shit in front of N and S but ended up getting One-Paneled in an Hilarious way...

Both are sprinting like some marathon runners.... But one got Yeeted out and the Other became the Selfie Stick.... 

What a Clown Show!!!!

-

-

Both of their Love Confessions towards their Man was never acknowledged or reciprocated... One was rejected brutally twice and another was ignored mercilessly...

So, Naruto dis remember that moment. eh????

-

-

Both confess at Inappropriate places/times....

-

-

Both loves to Guilt Trip their Boys to no end... And that’s how they got them...

“Watch me, Naruto-kun.... I am going to die for you.... Remember this...”

“Even though you treaded in a dark path... I never stopped loving you... Look how Disgraceful and Pathetic I am...It’s all for you....”

-

-

Both would think only about Romance.... Even in the Battlefield...

Of course... When Shikaku and Inoichi were asking you all to go help Naruto in the Battlefield... You are the only person who has such wet thoughts in these situations... Whereas Ino wanted to do her Job, Your teammates Kiba and Shino wanted to help him however they can.... And yet here you are foreshadowing your disgusting thoughts about ‘Naruto-kun’s’ Big manly hands....

Yeah.... Rather than killing Madara... Sasuke’s validation was more important for you, eh???? Fuck Naruto, Fuck Kakashi and Fuck all the Shinobis who were fighting to save the world.... 

-

-

Both used a third person to get their man and threw them like a Toilet Brush...

For NH, it’s Neji....

For SS, it’s Naruto....

These assholes didn’t even put any effort on helping their Man and let the others handle the difficult part and got the prized trophy who is ready for Breeding Mode.... Nice play!!!

-

-

Both wetted over their Man endlessly but ended up not having any effect on them emotionally or physically...

Naruto shitting on Hinata’s confession by acknowledging Iruka and Sasuke being his 2 most important people....

Sasuke shitting on SS peeps by openly acknowledging that Naruto was the one who saved him....

-

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Both became ‘Terrible Housewives’ who can’t even able raise their kids with proper values regarding their Father... But ended up watching TV dramas and manicuring their Nails....

“Okay, You Little piece of shit.... When Naruto was your Age.... He went through far more difficult life than you ever were.. You don’t know anything about your Father.... So, Shut the Efff up...”

Atleast this is what Hinata should have said to him and reprimanded this Mophead....

I wonder what was Sakura teaching her kid???? Other than Ino was interested in Sasuke????

-

-

And as a result of these Girl’s relentless Guilt-tripping and annoyance...

Naruto was feeling like he messed up again with such regretful face....

Sasuke looks even more pathetic.... 

-

-

I never liked people making comparing comparisons between Naruto and Sasuke as to who is better.... Because it was clearly established that both are Equal and complement each other....

At the End of the Day.... Naruto wanted to be needed by everyone and ended up as such... Whereas Sakura became unneeded & useless.... Sasuke lost his control and went into further Darkness because he couldn’t tolerate his Beloved Brother was being used and thrown away like a Tool.... Whereas Hinata was wanking about Naruto’s Hands while standing on his Beloved Brother’s corpse....

Sakura is the repulsive version of Naruto.... And Hinata is the disgusting version of Sasuke.... I seriously don’t understand why they fight over these kind of Wastrel characters.

[chihirolovebot]

!!!NEW CHAPTER I'M SQUEALING LIKE STEAM POPPING OUT OF A TEAPOT!!

Gosh I love your writing so much, it's always so well worth the wait <3 your imagery is second to none I stg,

"You were full of stones drifting down to the riverbed, watching the shimmering surface recede before you, powerless to stop it."

Like -- ugh, I literally can't conjure up the right way to describe that reading your work doesn't really feel like reading at all with how submersive it is. As always, your characterization is straight from the game canon. The way you subtly show Miu's struggle as the weight of what she's about to do is starting to crush her is just so delicious, I'm sick and clutching my chest. I was reading Kiibo's and MC's argument and literally thinking about how it so easily parallels Kokichi's relationship to the MC in terms of trust and keeping secrets. It's oddly satisfying in the most angsty of ways seeing the MC on the opposite side of that coin now, y'know? Now THEY are the one doing questionable things to protect that sweet, innocent-eyed individual they call a friend, one that undoubtedly deserves their trust and is begging for them to do so. Corruption arc for the reader??? A little hint of one anyway??? Their loyalty to those they care about is getting ground up into both a virtue and a flaw because of the circumstances and I am EATING it up. Also, them wanting to try to stop Miu in their own way but struggling to do so with just conversation?? I love them so much it hurts :((((((

And and and, knowing how this case originally goes, I saw that; I saw that tiny, eensy weensy little detail you changed, my hand went to cover my mouth and my mind is now BURNING with curiosity as to how these next couple updates are gonna go. I'm on the edge of my seat, leaning so far forward that I might fall off even.

I don't remember if I mentioned it last time, but I absolutely LOVE the overhaul of Tenko's character. She was one of my least favorites when playing V3 originally, mostly because I was really upset with how they executed their (kinda) first openly lesbian character, twisting her potential into some lesbophobic caricature that's creepily obsessed with fetishizing Himiko. But oh, how you've kept her close enough of the original to keep her feeling like the same character, but managed to save her potential, fleshing out her character, combined with her design update just gives me life; yours is now the canon Tenko and I will NOT be taking criticism or hearing otherwise~~

The moment between Kokichi and the reader right before they started to put on the helmets?? Faints. I literally can't say enough how you have absolutely NAILED this relationship and his character in general. Sometimes reading Kokichi fics, people make it all about the lying thing, but they don't really ever go into the depth of WHY he lies so much or the other aspects of his character, like his distrust in other people and his seeming lack of attachment or reliance on them, his hatred of killing and the desire to protect people in his own way going hand in hand. Sobs and shakes his stupid little purple head. He is such an excellent morally grey character, and you execute every scene with him perfectly. Also, you can tell his walls are STARTING to come down the reader now that he's let them in, his touches getting a tad more affectionate, it somehow feels like there's more weight behind his silly little flirtatious quips now-- my heart races with the MC at the smallest things like him holding their hand

I am so excited to see if the reader can manage to get under his skin enough in time to save him before these flaws of his lead to his downfall, or if Kokichi's influence leads to an even stronger corruption of the MC's character as they try to help him and get them both killed in the process, or I could even see the reader eventually sacrificing themselves for him and opening up his eyes in the worst way possible what his actions have led to. No matter what, I'm going to love every moment of it~

You've created such a wonderful story here Vee, I still remember stumbling across it and clicking on the title in curiosity, and now you've got me and countless others in a chokehold with every update. I know you've fallen on seriously tough times recently, because of course, life just does that to you sometimes, and even though you're doing better for now... you've got a village, a lil community behind you, and we all love you and are here for you if you need anything~ Please take as much time as you need between updates, and pls pls take care of yourself -wraps you in a blankie and pets your head and makes you cocoa or tea or whatever you want- you deserve it, I'm probably gonna wind up rereading the newest chapt again tonight to catch the other little things I might have missed~ and I know I've said it already, but taking care of yourself also means you never have to reply to my literal essays born from love and brainrot for this fic, I have WAY too much to say as it is haha, and I know it can be emotionally exhausting trying to come up with responses sometimes (*˘︶˘*).｡*♡

Thank you for another amazing chapter, I'm biting my hand eagerly waiting to see what comes next. Take care and have a good weekend~~!!

LOVE OKAY hi. HI. i did want to respond 2 this earlier but i got sick very shortly after (covid rip) and now i feel ok enough to look at a screen i am finally getting around to it (i know u think i do not have to respond but i simply do) !

first of all. thank u so much as always!!! my brain literally short circuits when i see these comments/asks like u do not know how insane ur making me /pos.

the mc stuff these last few and future chapters make me feel so Evil.... like yes maybe they do go a little insane and degenerate. and ofc ur spot on with the parallels of mc/kiibo with kokichi/mc n im happy that was obvious bc i was kinda stressing abt it when i was writing it hehe i was like 'uhghghg how to show that the nature of the killing game intentionally warps the actions of a well-meaning person trying to protect those they care about which only ends in their classmates fearing and distrusting them hhhdhdhshsjhsdh pulls out my own hair.' as for the corruption arc.... hm. Hm. also this 'Their loyalty to those they care about is getting ground up into both a virtue and a flaw because of the circumstances' HELLO??? this is a gorgeous way to describe it im literally staring . lurking n stalking over this. and that's just it!!! loyalty is an osentibly good trait to have but during a killing game where the only way to help ur classmates is to make them distrust u.... god. it's a flaw in the sense that it makes mc's friends doubt and grow frustrated with them, but of course it's a virtue in that mc IS doing all they're doing for them!!! pain and agony.

also the miu stuff was very fun to write. i love miu, she's probably myyyy fourth favourite? from v3? gonna say cautiously bc my rankings change all the time but she's definitely up there, moreso for the potential she could've had in the main game. it always burned me that the only depth she ever really got was like. AFTER her death? and told through the grapevine no less. there's such an interesting parallel in her character to kokichi and it sucks it wasn't explored more i think. i hope i made her a little more of a Person in this fic even if i didn't focus on her as much as the others.

tenko. oh tenko. talk abt characters with a ton of potential that got done SO Dirty by the source matieral. it was all right there ! and they just made her into a predatory lesbian and killed her at the peak of her character development as they love to do (sideyes hiyoko and taka). yeah i definitely consciously took out all the lines that made her look like a weirdo. i think her openly liking himiko a lot would be enough to make someone like himiko uncomfortable WITHOUT tenko being weirdly predatory and fetishing her so. that's what i did. new tenko is just openly admirative of himiko which still makes her uncomfy but for like. better reasons i guess. and now they get a chance to actually DEVELOP their relationship instead of another bury ur gays ur whatever.

GODDDD kokichi breaks my heart man. and ur so right that a lot of fics that write him don't delve into the 'why' of his character. every line i write for him i think to myself, okay, what is he ACTUALLY feeling right now? would it make sense for him to say this, does it align with his end-goal, is it ooc for him to reveal this much? PLUS having to keep in mind all the tactics he uses in general conversation, like poking people in the right direction for answers without straight up telling them, or saying something absurd or flustering them to change the topic or divert someone's attention away from something. basically behind every line of dialogue he says u gotta be thinking in terms of the bigger picture, when u don't so much for the rest of the characters. im sure thats also something u get, writing for nagito!! bc he's also a super complex character with a lot of weight behind all his lines. definitely feels like a guy who everything he says tells u a little bit about him if ur looking closely!!

last part of this made me a lil emotional uh oh. thank u so much love, i appreciate it so so much. btw i LOVE replying to these n the longer and more nonsensical the better /gen thank u thank u thank u again (ps i saw the final piece had updated yesterday but i havent gotten around to reading it yet!! im planning on setting some time aside this evening so get ready for another stupid novel comment ehehe)

pls take care of urself!! i hope ur having a good day <333

[sanris3]

A fine line

Pairing: reader x san Genre: friends to lovers(?)/angst Summary: You realize you're in love with your best friend San and unsure how to approach it. Playing with the thin line between friends and lovers. author notes: This is my first piece in a while, I hope everyone enjoys it! in a silly goofy mood at 5am Word Count: 1.6k

The both of you definitely started off on the wrong note. When you and San were first introduced to each other, it was difficult to get close to him. He radiated this intimidating aura and with your shy self, there was no way you'd approach someone like him. You had mutuals through a couple friend groups, it was only natural that you'd end up friends. However, there had been a misunderstanding through a mutual friend and you never thought to clear the air.. because after all, you weren't in a position to fight for the friendship anyway. The both of you left it as it is. Fast forward to 2 years later and the two of you are closer than ever. There was a stark difference between your personalities, hobbies, hell- even the way you both processed things were different. But oddly enough, you guys make it work. You were the epitome of 'opposites attract.' You'd never expect that a toxic relationship would deem you two as inseparable. San struggled a lot and you were there for him whenever he needed a shoulder to lean on. No one understood him but you oddly did. Looking at his situation, you found yourself looking in the mirror recognizing you had been in his position just a year ago. You desired to be there for him. You were reminded of the turbulent moments and unexplainable behaviors that took place- and unknowingly, you began to prioritize him. Not in a romantic way- more so, just ensuring San is doing okay because after all, he is your best friend. All you could think about were the empty moments you experienced when you went through the same thing, you didn't want him to believe no one understood him, because you did. How delightful would it have been if you had someone like this to root for you back then? San allowed himself to become comfortable with you. Sharing each vulnerable thought was a common conversation you two had and honestly- it was fascinating to learn how aware he was about his emotions because all this time, you believed he was emotionally constipated. Even after being friends for so long, the conversations you had never reached the depth that they did now. This was a sign he genuinely acknowledged you to be his closest friend. You'll never overlook the excitement you experienced at the realization he trusts you at his most vulnerable moments. It was happiness. This is what it feels like to have a friendship reciprocated. Vulnerable. Stable. Consistent. Several months go by and that relationship ends. You adhere to his side until the end, making sure he's completely taken care of; and even though it's challenging, you walk him through the emotions, keeping him together at his roughest moments. You had become his pillar. And that's exactly what you did, until, he suddenly cut off contact with you. You understood his heartbreak. He needed time to heal, but that time apart managed to lead through the most confusing part of your friendship. You missed him terribly but what could you do? He needed his space and you respected that. You hear from him for the first time for what feels like forever and you notice something is off. There's something about his aura that shifted- and you couldn't figure it out. Both of you are nervous to talk to each other after the sudden break but as always, you get through it and pick up on the flow once again. But this time it's different. There was a new feeling of awareness in your stomach when you got a notif from him- and for so long, you assured yourself it was because you missed him. Which was true. (at least for now.) There were many instances where you wanted to reach out and invade his space but that would only harm your friendship, and that was the furthest thing you desired to do. But you couldn't help yourself, you grew anxious that he would disappear on you again and started attaching yourself to him a different way and it was a scary feeling because you knew where this would lead to. "She was my person. It was rocky but I've never loved anyone so hard," he says amidst another vulnerable conversation. You try to bring him comfort by wrapping your arms

around him, gently pulling him in for a hug as he sobs again for the night. Your hands rub against his back, gently finding a pace. You feel his grasp on you tighten, hands clinging to you like you'll slip away. But you stay there, bringing him all the comfort he needs, he was still healing. There was that feeling again. Like always, you brushed it aside and never dared to ponder upon it. For the first time, your heart sinks when he's talking about her. It's a good day for both of you. Throughout your hangout you're able to pick up conversations like before, San is starting to smile again and joke a lot more often, the bright San you knew was returning and you were genuinely happy for him. "I knew you'd turn out okay, if I did, you would. It just took some time." you blurt out in the middle of silence as the two of you are watching a movie. He stops in his tracks to turn towards you, "Thank you." His lips curve up into a warm smile with his arms reaching out, unexpectedly pulling you into his arms. "You know, I'm sorry for disappearing. You've been nothing but good to me through everything. I'm grateful to have you around, I promise I'll return everything." You go along with it, loosely wrapping your arms around his frame. "It's okay." You answer with a pause before continuing. "I missed you a lot." "I did too."

There it is again. That feeling. As time went by, it was growing difficult to ignore the little jump in your heart seeing anything of him. A text? A call? Hanging out? Your wavering heart couldn't ignore. The overwhelming feeling was too much for you to handle so that day you ignore San for your sake. You took the day off to think about your feelings for the first time. Why him? Why now? It was hard to understand the sudden change in heart. You pondered over and over again if this was true. Overthinking leads one thing to another and the next thing you know, you're on your bed crying endlessly in the sheets. Out of all people, your feelings were stirred up by Choi San. For the next few months, it was a brutal game of push and pull. Not between you and San, but you and yourself. Slowly, you were filled with frustrations no one but him had answers to, it was driving you insane; One moment you would see San as a friend, then it would be more than that. The friendly gestures you were recieving from him were transforming to a different meaning in your heart. The pet names, the random compliments, the sporadic oversharing- oh you wished that it would stop. But a part of you knew you were acting like this due to the fact you were hyper aware of your feelings.

At one point you wondered what it would be like to feel his lips against yours. It was a confusing cycle you couldn't stand to seperate from him. How bad could it be if you started and ended things on your note? But if you revealed your heart, what if it backfired? There was a chance you'd lose your best friend and it was too risky to cross that line. You were desperate enough to go on dates, and of course, San encouraged you through all of them. There was a clear answer to your questions but the little hope you had in you, kept praying. Just maybe. You wanted San to feel the same way. Maybe it was the alcohol in your system, or you were tired of stringing yourself along- so you initiated the conversation about dating again. Of course, you were extremely careful with how you apporached the situation; One mess up and it'll change the dynamic of your bond forever. You thought about what would happen far ahead. Sure he accepts your feelings and there's might be connection but what if you guys aren't compatiable as lovers? would the both of you have the courage to love like you haven't been hurt? "San- Can I ask you for advice on something? Or not really advice.. but your input." The brunette gears his attention towards you fully, emmitting the same flustering feeling in your stomach. But you don't react physically.

"Is it something serious?" "Yeah sort of-" "Is this another joke you're play-" "I'm serious!" "Okay, what's up?" "what do you think about dating a friend?-" "what?" "just answer the question." "I'm scared it'll happen again." " yeah same, I get you." The both of you return to the movie, carrying on like the conversation didn't happen. The air turned thick. At one point the comfortable silence grew suffocation. Did he catch on or are you thinking too much? For the first time you realized how dangerous that fine line between friends and lovers were. In the end, you didn't want him to take responsibility for your actions. Why should San suffer because of your feelings? that was the last thing you wanted. Sure, you won't be able to kiss him and hug him, or feel his embrace in a much more intimate way- but he was by your side and that mattered. With that, you were happy and content. Even if his heart wasn't yours. "San?" "Yeah?" "I'm really grateful you're my best friend." "I could say the same."

[alaskasmonsters]

Play Fights | Modern Levi Ackerman

requested by @windex-princess-gia​: HI! i absolutely love LOVE “patch-up” and was wondering if you wrote for modern levi? I love the idea of him and his s/o play fighting and being all cute and sweet <3 if you do write something tHANK TOU

pairing: modern!levi ackerman x gn!reader

w.c: 1.642

warning: none

a.n: hii, thank youuu!!! <3 i hope this is what you imagined and i hope you like it!!! i am so sorry it’s so short, i hope it’s still okay. :3

Your eyes drifted to Levi’s form, who was bent over the dishwasher to collect the contents, checking every single piece of tableware for remaining dirt. He never trusted the dishwasher to do its job, hasn’t since the two of you had moved in.

You found it endearing sometimes, his mania for cleaning. Your place was always clean, too, and it was cute when he scolded you for wearing a hoodie again, that he had already deemed ready for the washer (although it was your favorite hoodie and it’s so comfortable and it was just a little bit of dirt).

He would have that face, all emotionless and unblinking and you knew he had to hold back not to hit you on the back of the head for being an idiot. Then he’d force you out of it and instead throw one of his hoodies to your head, knowing that’s what you wanted.

It wasn’t fun however when you wanted cuddles, needed them actually (you were quite needy with physical touch most days) and Levi was rather ogling the plates that actually reached his high expectations of cleanliness with satisfaction, rather than already get it over with it and watch a movie with you, his significant other.

“Levi,” you whined for what felt like the tenth time already.

He barely turned to glance at you, already knowing what you wanted. Seemingly unimpressed he gave you an onceover before turning back to the teacup he was just inspecting.

Losing against the charm of clean tableware, you really should feel threatened at this point.

You let out a groan, falling back on the couch.

“Stop being whiny and help me with the dishes the stupid washer hasn’t done a good job with, if you want cuddles so badly,” Levi scolded and when you sat up again he was just placing the cup he’d been inspecting on the “not good enough” pile, glaring at it as if it had personally offended him.

It was his favorite teacup, one you had given him before you had ever moved in together, to the first birthday he had celebrated with you, and in his opinion the washer never did a good enough job on it.

It might have warmed your heart, but the thought of having to wash already clean dishes to get Levi’s affections, and probably not even doing a better job on it than the dishwasher...you could just hide beneath the blankets.

Instead you got up and made your way to the kitchen sink, because let’s be honest, if Levi did this all alone it would probably take another 20 minutes, with how thoroughly he inspected every piece of tableware and you wanted your cuddles.

You’d risk being scolded for not using enough soap or too much soap, you couldn’t really tell how he decided which one it was, but it didn’t really matter to you.

Levi looked up to give you a smirk, damn well knowing you had no desire to actually help him, that you only did it out of desperation. You stuck out your tongue at him, making him shake his head with a roll of his eyes.

Taking down the faucet sprayer from the attachment, you already eyed the several pieces of tableware with disdain.

“You know, I'm just doing this because I love you,” you teased, playfully shaking the faucet in his direction with a warning glare.

You weren’t sure what Levi would have responded, probably rolled his eyes at you again and told you he loved you too. Either way, his words died on his tongue the moment cold water hit him in the side of the face.

You noticed in horror that you had accidentally brushed the button at the bottom and activated the faucet sprayer, drenching Levi’s hair and upper part of his hoodie with water. He stood there, unmoving, frozen in shock, until he slowly turned to you. His eyes glaring at you with utter annoyance.

The water was trickling down his face and his hair was sticking to his forehead. Combined with the pissed off expression, he reminded you too much of your cat Mustard after you’ve given him the annual bath.

You couldn’t keep in the snort.

Clasping your hand over your mouth you looked at Levi with wide eyes, knowing damn well you were already toeing the line and it wouldn’t be long until he looked for revenge.

“Y/n.”

His voice was dangerously calm and you quickly threw your hands up signaling your surrender, biting your lips, trying to keep the laughter from spilling out.

“It was an accident. My finger slipped!”, you hurried to say, but you couldn’t suppress the giggles escaping your mouth.

Slowly, Levi put down the plate he’d been holding, fully turning your direction, eyeing you like a hunter eyed it’s prey. You froze in anticipation, mind already whirling.

He came towards you faster than you could process and with a squeak you pressed down the button again, spraying Levi once more, hitting him square in the face.

That wasn’t enough to stop his advances and you quickly threw the gadget into the sink and raced to your connected living room, jumping over the couch in your attempt to escape.

Laughing loudly at the top of your lungs, you slipped on the floor, scattering across the room. Levi was right behind you, it wouldn’t be long until he would have caught up to you.

He’s always been much faster than you have, so it was only a matter of time. Still, you always tried anyway. Whenever you and Levi were being silly and goofing around (which occurred quite often, despite him appearing mostly cold and distanced), you were aware that your boyfriend had significant physical advances.

It made it just the more satisfying whenever you were the one to win, if only due to luck.

Levi caught your arm and pulled you back until you stumbled against his chest. Before you could even attempt to wiggle free he bent down to pick you up and throw you over his shoulder as if you weighed nothing at all.

You huffed dramatically, trashing in his arms as he carried you all the way towards the couch to throw you on top of it and pin you down.

Looking up, you saw the smug look on his face.

“Not fair!” you pouted, but Levi wasn’t done with you, yet.

The only warning you got was a single finger lifted in the air (he pinned both of your wrists down with one arm now) and a little smirk and then you were already squeaking and wiggling beneath his grip.

His finger dug into your side without mercy, dancing across your skin, then pinching again. You giggled and wheezed uncontrollably, helplessly trashing under his weight.

“No! Stop! Levi!” you whined out between laughs, trying to kick out with your legs, but he was sitting on top of them.

He paused for a second and you sunk back into the pillow, gasping for air. Your boyfriend was looking down at you with an eyebrow expectantly raised in the air.

“Pretty please, it was an accident I swear!” you pushed out between gasps, giving him your best puppy look.

He cocked his head to the side, motioned for you to go on.

“I’m sorry i splashed you with water,” you apologized and because the image of his similarity to your cat still lingered at the back of your mind you added, “And that you look like Mustard who’s just gotten a bath.”

Levi snorted.

“Do I now?”

You nodded, grinning up at him.

He scoffed, clearly bemused, if not a little annoyed at you.

There was a moment of peace, where the both of you just looked at each other, then Levi dove down, rubbing his wet hair against your face.

You squeaked at the wetness and tried to push him off, but he wouldn’t budge, rubbing against you like….well, a cat.

“Ew, Levi,” you laughed, huffing when one of the wet strands almost got into your mouth, “You win, wou win. Mercy.”

He removed himself from you immediately, a cocky half grin on his face as he let go off your wrists.

As soon as your hands were free you pushed against his chest, trying to wipe off the uncomfortable feeling of dampness on your cheeks that Levi had left there.

“Don’t you know I always win, darling?”, he teased, making no move to get off of you.

You rolled your eyes, a sly grin forming on your face as an idea popped into your head.

Before Levi knew what was coming you’d reached out and slung your arms around his neck, pulling him down so he was almost lying on top of you. He had reacted quickly enough, only thanks to his agility so he could catch himself with his arms before actually falling on top of you. Both of them were propped next to your head as he was kneeling between your legs.

He found your eyes, his face devoid of any emotions as he stared at you in complete silence. You chuckled at the sight of that face, your fingers dancing across the shaved hair of his undercut.

“I got you to get on the couch, though,” you explained, giving him a toothy grin, “Haha!”

Levi shook his head, but the soft smile on his face told you he didn’t mind as much as he would like to pretend. After all, your boyfriend liked it when you were cuddling on the couch and watching a movie just as much as you did.

That man was secretly the biggest softie.

“You’re a brat.”, he countered, voice free of annoyance.

You laughed, unashamed, then pulled him down the last inches to connect your lips to his in a short kiss.

“Love you, too.”