#anyway this shouldn't be so hard and yet like so many things it is lol.
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merge-conflict · 2 years ago
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it's just eternally like: i want to commission art, but the instant i think about articulating what i want i instantly ragdoll
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ratofthenest · 5 days ago
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i despise the idea that Tim Drake's character has some sort of huge "problem" arrrgehebeh
for starts, when it comes to Tim the title "Robin" was never a regression or a starting point. unlike Dick and Jason, Tim's character wasn't written to just be "Batman's sidekick" like they were. the whole point is Tim was... perfect. everything Batman could ever need and more on the field.
Dick quit being Robin once he start university, picking up the mantle of Nightwing. Dick started out as Robin REALLY young, and the whole thing was a nickname from his parents. he became Robin to avenge them, and then stayed afterwards to continue to help people. he was a really good Robin, too! there's a reason so many people like him. he's like, what every sidekick dreams of becoming, yk?
similar situation with Jason (but not really?). he starts off a completely different person from how he is portrayed today, and especially after his death? there was no way he could go back to being Robin after all that. Either way, Jason started out with that same REALLY strong sense of justice Dick had (although, let's be honest, Jason has always been a little violent with his delivery of it)
[Side note: these are brief, 2 paragraph overviews and obviously their characters are so much more convoluted than this, but this post aint about them!!]
Tim? Tim doesn't come from a broken background, which sets him apart from the first two Robin's immediately. he starts off with both his parents alive and well, and he's a white rich kid. He didn't have an incentive to become Robin, yet he did it anyway, completely for the sake of "saving" Batman. after Jason flopped with the readers, the writers went ahead and did a 180° with Tim. he was created with the idea of someone who was nearly perfect for the position. someone smart, adaptable, charismatic, and likeable. and hey, it worked really well when he came out, too!
this really makes Tim standout from the other Robins, though. sure, being Robin was definitely a learning process, and it's not like he immediately knew how to do everything right off the bat, but he learned quick! like, really quick! there wasn't necessarily an urgent need for him to take up a new title as a way to show he's "grown up" because he's already mature as hell as is. what's there to progress to when he was literally molded for this?
now, the issue of Red Robin. Tim took up that title in a time of pure crisis. the mantle was born out of grief, anger, and the desperation to bring Bruce back home, no matter what. Anyone who's read the Red Robin comics can tell you how he was crashing out throughout it. through my eyes, if he's ever to drop the Robin mantle, it certainly shouldn't be to go back to Red Robin. Does that mean I think he should stay Robin forever? No! Course not!! but I also think the writers need to pause and actually think about the kind of character his is before deciding to make a mantle that's purely Tim, if that makes any sense.
all that aside, it's important to acknowledge that Tim started off as a narrative tool. a support character ready to go at any given moment through other people's stories, not just Batman. countless times we see DC utilizing Tim just to progress the plot, which isnt inherently a bad thing, but it does explain why he's such a wild card in the comics lol
his character changed a LOT from the 90s to the 00s, and he's gone from a character at Batman's side 24/7 to a character who gets sidelined more often than not. and with everything else going on in DC rn, im not surprised he hasn't been in the spotlight for a hot second. but hey, i heard there's some possible content coming out for him this and the upcoming years so yay?
final thoughts: it'd be pretty fucking hard for a writer to properly write a good transition for Tim from Robin to something new. he can't be Robin forever, obviously, but there's no reason to put such a rush on it, especially when DC seems to forget his portrayal 90% of the time lmao. anyway i love tim sm
I hope this ramble made the slightest sense it's the middle of the goddamn night and the words are starting to blur together
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haveihitanerve · 4 months ago
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Ze Blackberry Is Here. Back with more commentary. Y'all know the drill, hope you enjoy :)
“Its gonna be OSCAR nominated! BAFTA award winning!” I believe it! (truthfully, i have never seen this skit before, so this will be my first time watching it, I know, I know, shame, i've been a fan for a little under a year and i've never seen Ze Blackberry? But im here to remedy that now, and I believe it'll be beautiful and oscar winning)
Tom making eye contact with AJ and grabbing his chair and AJ just following suit- they communicate without words i love it
Also side note- Aj has hair..... anyway now carry on
“Captured by ze germans!” AJ’s side glance over his shoulder at Luke as he says it- cheeky little shit :)
“Look at ‘em, the Aryan look.” Sam enjoyed that one :) Aj chuckling at his own joke too
“Oh! If he was only a foot and a half taller he’d be a perfect nazi!” Of course we have to go for the cheap shot, love it!!- also- Aj already cracking before he finishes the joke, beautiful, he knew where it was going
Luke’s smile and side eye- gorgeous boy
Tom and Aj cracking when they see Sam- honestly wow, they were much more relaxed with laughing on stage from what i can see lol- Aj literally looks to the heavens like “give me strength!!”
“Oh my god! Its Hanz van Purple Buerer!” stellar joke AJ, really: 10/10
Luke laughing in the corner
The person who screeched with laughter in the audience that it sounded like a door being opened has my heart- so real
“The blackberry himself has come to deal with us.” AJ's snort of laughter, Luke’s slow smile, and Sam’s resigned grin as he looks at his outfit
“JA! Ze Blackberry is here.” Perfect quote. 10/10
“Hello my little pocket sized aryan” i knew he loved the joke- also idk what Luke does just then, but it looks really cool- the little foot tap together of a soldier standing at attention or smth idk
Luke just reciting his NPC German phrases he knows XD (as a german tho, decent accent, pretty good)
Tom and AJ absolutely baffled XD- genuinely asking “did he just sniff his ear?” with such concern- priceless lol- “i think he wants to fuck him” idk why aj emphasized, or rather didn't, fuck, but it really adds something... je ne sais quoi
“Just flying a plane, over berlin-” Aj chuckling because he knows damn well that was a bad excuse wtf Tom’s gonna make it sooo much worse XD “just normally!” there it is!
“During ZE SEKOND VORLD VAR!?!?!” Sam- woah
“I call it a good time to goooo…” Hes really looking for an excuse here- “parachuting” nailed it, perfect delivery- he wont suspect a thing
“Les frere parachutes!” Ok Aj, flaunt that french i see you
Sam smacking Tom(not literally, they havent gotten to that point yet- but just wait until Old Lady Margaery) and Aj also flinching- grinning before Sam even says anything because he knows, he just knows he shouldn't have
“ZHAT IS HOW YOU ZLAP ZE MASTER WAY!!!” The slap was so good Sam had to break the fourth wall lmaooo
“Von ponte!” Idk why thats funny- but AJ laughed immediately after saying it, so its probably a french joke of a location or smth??? Or not at all?? Idk im not french
AJ’s genuine look at concern over to Tom when sam said “staler and harder” 
“Don't- don't let them make me get hard!” AJ has given up and is now just looking down trying not to break- real
“Oh i think he wants- *uncontrollably afraid head nodding* they both want the fucking-” 
“In many ways thats better, its better as a two way street” Tom our consensual king… that sounded wrong- but consent matters!
AJ’s scream of genuine terror XD
“Then maybe you'll have a, you know, you'll come in like 70 years for a bit and it'll be weird and then you'll fuck off again!” Tom getting into actual history, love when they do that, adds intentional and unintentional humor- also love how the girl(sry idk her name) has just decided she does not want to be a part of whatever the fuck this is and is just watching
AJ’s singing!!!!! YAY!!! (actually one of the most compelling reasons why i wanted to watch this lmaoo) also the way he makes eye contact with Luke and immediately breaks mid song
Sam being a random unidentified animal as Tom casually strokes his back- for absolutely no reason but they couldn't let Aj be the only weird one in the scene- solidarity ig??? Whatever the reason its fucking hilarious
“Im- in the wrong place.” yes AJ wtf are you doing XD???
“How are you Sarah?” YES UNIDENTIFIED WOMAN!!! MAKE LUKE FEMALE!!!
The eruption of laughter as Luke contemplates how to handle this new piece of information about himself
“Well he didn't come ‘ome so!” Fair point, fair point
“You're being- ridicule.” the casual slipping in of random french words they picked up from duolingo, or, y'know, AJ ig, is beautiful
“I know of an admirer” Audience member: oooh Luke: *shoots them a glance, eyebrow raised* idk man any interaction with the audience and im a sucker for it-
“Ok Xavier will have to wait until Jean-Luc is “officially dead” then” idk who this girl is but shes funny XD-
“She said i would also meet a man called Javier.” *does quick calculations of how many people are already characters and how many more plots they can afford to fit into the already moving script….* “But I already met him and he was… very ugly.” Luke- lmaoo
Aj- my king i love you
THE WAY THE GIRL LITERALLY HAS TO TURN AWAY WHEN TOM ENTERS
REAL
Can i just mention real fast- when AJ collapses, faints, wtv- Tom tries to catch him before realizing that “oh its part of the bit ok” -like??? His arm swings back because he was trying to be a support for Aj to lean against, not expecting him to completely swoon to the floor- anyway they're cute
“No no no no-” oh here comes the scene *the writer is giddy with excitement* “i will give her, ze kiss of life.” *then genuinely surprises Aj with a kiss because his hand twitches with the movement XD* “I could ‘ave mimed it, but i deed not” Tom you absolute king-
*licks Luke’s hand like a weirdo* like lol Tom what was that???
“I don't know the french word for mice-” *AJ has been summoned* i just love how he spawns in, so ready to share his native language, its too cute 
And Tom promptly picking up on it :)))))) so cute
“To keep me satisfiiiiiiied.” The chair tilt- ughnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn *deceased*
Also- Luke is completely at ease. He’s a bit surprised, sure, but he keeps his legs floating, crossed, has complete faith that Tom will keep him steady and is not worried at all about finding stability himself- they’re so fucking adorable help-
Toms hand on his neck 😭
“Do not be afraid. Xavier is here.” Well i've never felt safer in my life so-
“Im just a bit lonellyyyy” lmao this girl is fun! “Make sure you get the right buttock, its the good one! But the left one is good as well!” Ofc it is Xavier, of course
“III am a man.” thank you for making sure we know that Xavier…
SAM AND AJ!!!! WHAT !!!! XD IM DYING!!! They planned out, and then actually went through with, meeting on opposite sides of the stage, wearing their medieval helmets, and decided to charge at each other, in that exact moment- fuck i love them sm omg- XD
AJ’s little finger flick to indicate Tom to come over 😭 subtle things and i love them so much-
Tom: *casually yeets himself across stage*
“I can feel it in the… breeze.” smooth aj, makes sense, yes yes ofc ofc, very airtight reasoning
“Its- its the- nazi looking guy!” LMAOOO poor luke XD
“FRANCOISSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS!” AJ has a lot of breath support damn
The silence as Sam continues clopping along, debating whether or not to point out that girl- i really should learn her name- just casually jumped onto a moving wagon or smth idk lol
AJ: *just casually starts sobbing* Sams wife: if you’re thirsty you could just drink it!!! LMAOOOOO
“By the way while you were captured,*AJ smiling already because he knows what's coming* the nazis occupied us.” both laugh. cuties
“BIG HANDS! This is big Hans.” Sam not being able to speak in order to not burst out laughing. I know AJ is so glad to have a pumpkin covering his face so he can laugh lmaooo
“Well you could have surrendered better.” Sam having to look down to laugh XD
“No zey, zey really couldn't.” Luke- you're german yeah? Not french…
“We are French, we are very good at surrendering.” poor AJ lmaooo XD
“That joke would be dated, but its 1942 so…” setting a time period, nice work Tom lol
“Les coqs! Hah!” Luke just wants to be French atp lmaooo
Tom walking right through the stagecraft horses. Tsk tsk
“Reach in there, grab a big coq and eat it.” he saw the joke and he took it, golden. 
Luke: *casually stroking AJ’s hair and entire face without any regard* love them so much omg-
I said it once and ill say it again: their slow motion stuff is sooooo good, especially because usually only one person starts it- like AJ- and its subtle at first, but the others pick up on it so fast it quickly becomes noticeable but like they notice it before the audience- anyway…
“Lets go- fuck!” …. “What???” "WHAT???" “It doesn't matter!” No i think it does aj what were you going to say????
*speedy horse noises*
Sam and Aj moving in time together as they transition to the next scene 😭they're always so in sync it hurts
The way the camera angle only sees Luke, and then Tom’s leg just appears. Beautiful cinematography. the cameraman knows what the people want😏
“I am an improvised comedian, it does not pay well *pouts*” I feel like you're bringing a lot of reality into this scene Frankie…
Luke cant even laugh, its true 😭
Damnnnnn. Like i've seen Xavier edits ofc, but now i've seen the play and now i know- gawddddsss
“If you are such a man zen why are u not fighting ‘or francez freedohm?” Oh damn Sarah does not play- yes Jean-Luc your wife still has faith in you… i hope. Pls give me a luke/aj relationship- pls(so far they haven't even been in one scene together as a married couple 😭)
“Chat got your tongue?” … i laughed wayyy too hard at that and Luke looks wayyy to proud of it too…
“Im doing a lovely job ‘ere.” yes you are queen, yes you are
“Thought you said it wasn't dirty- its horrible.” yes queen!!! Tell him!!! “Look at it!” she sounds so genuinely disappointed. “Its dust! You know what dust is? Its skin. Human skin and rat poo.” girl you keep monologuing till your heart is content this is wonderful
Tom and Luke are too stunned to speak :0
“Are you quite finished?” damn Luke… tt. “I mean im not if im honest about it..” yes queen!!!! Don't let him interrupt you XD
“Do you want to know what-” *blinks in trilingual* “am i german am i french?” shakespeare ok
DAMN that slap was perfect! And this is a time when its still fake, i see i see lol
“Viva la france!” Audience member: viva la france! Loving this solidarity lol
“Im off now.” “oh fuck off already!” Sarah is done  lmaooo
Aj coming in with the French… what is it called? Battle cry of France? Slogan? Whatever Fraternity, Egalite and Eternite is for France… i should truly know what its called… slogan… ok whatever i'm digressing-
“That is right. I was tortured by.. *thinks back to very beginning of play* two men… getting... with each other next to me..” *said while looking at one of said men and having just ridden other said man into the scene* also wow- how did, whoever suggested it, suggest that idea???? Anyway-
“They are always doing that the nazis.” Casually Sam and Luke being the ones to say it…
“I just wanted to tease ‘im a little bit. I’m french its in my nature!!!” even Sam is flabbergasted that he said it right to AJ’s face lmaooo
“So where is your kni- awww.” Tom was so ready lol
“When i say knife… I mean HUGE katana.” *laughs* idk why but this sentence just tickles my brain properly for some reason 
“Ye-es?” Sam i cant. Aj struggling not to laugh, Tom questioning how he can hit Sam without messing up the scene, and Luke just going for the joke- “where did you get my dildo?” priceless XD
“Thats a good… whatever you are.” thats what we all want to know too, but its safer not to ask…
Sam singing epic fight song. Glorious
The blood- i cant breathe- XD
This just might be the best possible kiss scene in all of SFTH history omg- the way Luke walks to AJ- cups his cheeks, then wraps his arms around his neck as AJ hugs him completely, turning so that Luke is dipped low, and Luke’s legs go limp, trusting AJ to hold him up without any fear, its so cute and so tender and omg i love them sm-
ANyway that was Oh My God, Is This A Joke? Very glad i finally got around to watching it, absolutely beautiful play as always boys, wow, and AJ still had hair, anyway gorgeous. 
Also i feel the need to point out that in this one every single person was trying to get with Luke at one point or another. Thats all. Byebye now!
@dawn-speckled @snek-of-eden
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littleblueclown · 4 months ago
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Metal Sonic Reflections is an IDW mini comic that lives in my head rent free. It says so much with hardly any words and I could write an essay about it and so I'm gonna babble my analysis of all the pages about it here because I simply cannot shut up about this
Analysis/babble under the cut!
First of all, the first and second page already say so much.
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We know Metal hates losing. You can see here how his attention is drawn by seeing himself on screen. He watches his defeat and seems to continue on unbothered, but then his fists clench.
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Notice that it doesn't happen right away - the walking panel has him quite a distance from that screen now, and even then it's one panel later that he clenches his fists. He's mulling over his failure. Ruminating on it and thinking about it and getting more and more frustrated and angry as he does so. His whole posture changes in that third panel with how he leans forward, almost like he's angrily storming off.
The vat of metal virus catches his eye - hard to say why for sure. Maybe because it turns people into something kind of robot-like, and as a robot, he's curious about it (I know I would be). Maybe he's already had on his mind what's been happening to Sonic, and he just spotted the opportunity to test what's been eating at him.
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Either way, he approaches, stares at it for a moment, then looks to the screen, watching how it is affecting Sonic. Infecting him. Metal Sonic believes he's the true Sonic, or at least, a better Sonic. It's hard to say exactly what that means to Metal (surely he knows Sonic can't turn into a giant dragon creature, but that didn't stop him from doing that in Heroes as long as it meant beating him and proving he was better lol) but he has always seemed to be so obsessed with that concept. What's really interesting to me here is that he glances back to see if anyone else is watching. Like he knows he shouldn't be doing this, or maybe even like he's embarrassed or ashamed that he's going to do this in the first place. Like he knows he'd be judged for doing this, viewed as ridiculous for the whole thing, or maybe even scolded for it, and yet he wants to do it anyway. He needs to do it.
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When he goes to touch the metal virus, he hesitates. Like he's afraid. Is he afraid that he actually will get infected? That he'll be harming himself just to prove a point? Is he afraid that he won't be infected and it'll do the opposite of prove a point, and if he just went on about his day he would never know and could pretend he'd have been just as infected as Sonic was?
Either way, he steels himself. He's resolved to whatever this leads to - he seems straight up ready to succumb to the virus if that's what it takes to find a similarity between himself and Sonic. He's so different in so many ways and losing over and over, among many things, must only drive that point home. How can someone better, or even identical, only ever lose? There's gotta be something similar about them. He can't be an inferior robot copy. He just can't be.
So here he is, being rash, impulsive, and doing something that could be self-destructive and dangerous (ironically a lot like Sonic HAHA) and he touches the virus.
In that last panel, to me it looks like he's leaning forward a little. He almost looks excited? Crazy to be excited about possibly turning into a zombot but you can see where his priorities lie for sure with that. He'd possibly rather become a zombot than find another difference between him and his so-called copy.
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But of course he's a robot and nothing happens. He keeps staring at his hand. That close up on his eyes followed by the silhouette with a white background just feels like chef's kiss to me, because we don't know exactly what's going through his head, but it's got him so messed up that in the next page, it's shown that he's completely zoned out. Maybe he's shocked because he firmly believed it would affect him. Maybe he's grieved because it's just one more piece of evidence that he's not Sonic and never will be - never can be. Maybe he's struggling to comprehend it in general - his programming says he's the true/better Sonic, so how could this have not worked?
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Maybe it's a combination of all three, but either way, he's so lost in his thoughts that he straight up does not notice the portal lighting up the room, does not hear Starline approach, doesn't even hear him tell Metal to leave until he snaps his fingers directly in his face. He's a fine-tuned, well-made robot that should have incredibly fantastic sensors to allow him to act quickly and efficiently to any stimuli. Yet he didn't. Starline get close enough to do that, and the fact that Metal only noticed once he was snapping in his face says so much about how much this whole thing affected Metal. How lost in thought and feelings he was about the whole matter. It's gotta eat him up inside, how much everything contradicts what his programming tells him. He can never be the one thing he's supposed to be, a truer, better version of Sonic, and he can never do the one thing he's supposed to do, which is to defeat Sonic. Man I love Metal Sonic, he's such a tragedy.
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suzukiblu · 2 years ago
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👉👈 do you have any more of the dubcon ( ;3c dubKON lol) tim//kon thing with the pining kon?
. . . I actually am not even sure what fic you're referencing so maaaaaybe I have written too many fics, lol.
But like, here's an excerpt from something that at least fits that definition?
Superboy fucking hates Gotham.
Well, not necessarily Gotham, but definitely the Riddler and probably Poison Ivy and, like . . . whoever the fuck else decided to set up a goddamn murder-box puzzle room and lock him in it with a drugged-out-of-his-mind Robin and the worst set of instructions ever.
And especially he hates the fact that apparently the whole damn mess was fucking livestreamed.
"This sucks," he mutters under his breath. Robin stares at him from the other side of the briefing table in the middle of the Batcave, because of course Superboy's first time in the Batcave would only happen because he'd fucked up. Like–of course it would.
"I sexually assaulted you in a supervillain deathtrap in front of the entire internet," Robin says very, very carefully. "And we only survived the experience because said deathtrap had faulty wiring. And that . . . 'sucks'?"
"I mean, very much so, yes," Superboy says. Honestly he's more annoyed about the deathtrap than anything else. Like, he tried really hard to solve that stupid puzzle of Riddler's and it's really annoying that he apparently got it wrong. Which–okay, he was pretty distracted at the time because drugged-up Robin had refused to settle for a handy and had basically bullied him into going down on him, but still. That asshole Riddler and his lame-ass bowler hat had been very fucking clear about how said drugs weren't gonna wear off without Robin getting off and how they'd had very limited time to solve his stupid puzzle in, so Superboy had just kinda tried to . . . multitask it, basically. He'd let out-of-his-mind Robin shove him down and fuck his mouth and just kept his hands on the floor so he could use his TTK a little easier and tried to solve the stupid puzzle with it, just in case Robin wasn't gonna snap out of it fast enough.
It'd very literally been a puzzle, for whatever reason–like one of those weird abstract-looking 3D ones–and probably would've been a lot easier to figure out if he'd actually been able to see it as opposed to having to rely on his TTK feeling it out while the whole thing was all wired up to the table on the opposite side of the deathtrap room, but apparently it hadn't even fucking mattered anyway because of whatever that one fucked up bit in the wiring had been. So like . . . Superboy basically violated a guy he barely knows and already had weird feelings about for no fucking reason whatsoever.
So yeah. This definitely sucks.
"I called you a whore," Robin says, his face absolutely expressionless. Superboy makes a face at him more to be contrary than anything else. "Multiple times. You asked me to stop yanking your hair so hard and I called you a mouthy bitch. And then I yanked your hair harder."
"I mean, I know, I was there," Superboy says, raising an eyebrow at him. And also, like, those are accurate assessments of his character, so . . .
"I made you get down on your knees and shoved my dick in your mouth," Robin stresses, his jaw going tight. "Which was livestreamed and is now on the internet. Where it will never go away. Ever. And anyone who feels like it can just go and google it."
"They probably shouldn't, I'm assuming that'd count as underage porn," Superboy says with a shrug. "At least, I'm not eighteen yet, dunno about you. Actually I'm like . . . two, max. Probably not even that. Although I dunno, I was sixteen-ish when I got out of Cadmus, maybe I do count as eighteen by now? Technically?"
Robin gets up and goes over to the trash can by the computer and throws up in it. Superboy . . . blinks.
"Uh," he says. "You okay, man?"
"No," Robin says. Then he throws up in the trash can again.
Awkward, Superboy thinks, trying not to wince.
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according2thelore · 13 days ago
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So I just saw a post that reminded me of that ask I once sent about the boy's having too many bads(as opposed to the only one bed trope), and ik you wrote a little blurb about the es/ls verse in that post, but now I crave more👁👁(only if your willing to provide of course❤️)
Like I'm imagining the ls boys sneaking into each other's rooms every night(which is harder now because they're older and do in fact get tired ealier lol) and sneaking back out every morning. Or the two of them physically aching with the want of sharing a bed again, or just being extremely restless in general, and always loekey(highkey) blaming it on the es boys for both being here AND not having figured out their stupid feelings yet.
And on an angstier note, dean not being immediately within arms reach when sam has a nightmare!(or vise versa)😃 and the panic that comes after that🥰 + The es boys hearing someone(sam probably) freaking out after having a nightmare and being really worried/freaked out.
Anyway all this to say that the es boys have definitely found compromising evidence of the ls boys currently or previously sharing a room(and bed) in their respective bedrooms.
It'd be even funnier if the ls boys were making it a HUGE point to show that they are in fact sleeping in two separate rooms haha, nothing weird going on here. And then they pass by the es boys rooms and see them literally sleeping on top of each other in deans bed like it's completely normal, despite still being sooooo repressed. Maybe the ls boys have this thought process like "well were literally in our 30s, it'd probably be weird to them if we had this many rooms and still shared" meanwhile the es boys get anxious being 5 feet apart for too long and NEED to be in the same room every night, and if fact find it kind of odd that ls Sam and Dean actually DON'T share a room??? Like, how will you hear each other breathing otherwise???
Also either group of boys waking up with morning wood, that'd just be funny in general because literally neither of them can do anything about it. For the ls boys it's because it'd be hard to sneak into each others rooms, get off, then sneak back out all before the es boys wake up. And for the es boys it's because they are, of course, still soooo repressed.
Anyway, do what you want with this post, yk I love hearing your thoughts on all things wincest so🥰
I'll tag you in the post I saw if you're curious btw(if you haven't already seen it LMAO) because yeah these boys were literally at the edges of their beds trying to be as close as possible.
hi, beloved ari!!! <33 [the post i've written about sam & dean not knowing how to NOT share a bed now that they've started sleeping together]
i have seen that post, but cannot for the life of me find it now!
SHUT UPPPPP this is so cute!!!! 🥺🥺🥺 i am always willing to provide for you!! let's discuss!
[and ES/LS verse masterlist & explanation for our new followers!]
"do you think they're fighting?" dean leans across the table, his voice hushed and excited. dean loves gossip almost as much as a sixty year old lady wearing curlers in a hair salon. he practically starts vibrating when he overhears something he shouldn't.
sam tears his eyes away from his book, and frowns at the excited curl of his brother's lips.
"who?" he asks.
dean rolls his eyes like sam is being particularly ridiculous.
"who?" he repeats. "us. we. our old bastard selves."
sam's mouth flattens, but he looks over to the door that they had just walked out of a few minutes ago.
they'd definitely been more tired than usual, older dean keeping his "my favourite people call me grandma" mug filled to the brim with coffee all day. older sam had dark circles under his eyes, and sam had to get his attention more than once when they were going through the archives earlier that afternoon.
"no?" sam says. "i mean, they told us they were going to bed, but--"
"yeah," dean cuts him off, eyes alight with glee. "they told us like seventeen times."
sam frowns. did they?
he hadn't really been paying attention, but now that dean mentions it, they did linger for a bit.
we're going to bed.
i'm going to bed, older sam adds, loudly.
yeah, i mean, i'm going to bed by myself. alone.
me as well. i miss my mattress.
yup. yeah. same. my own mattress. nothing like it.
it's time for bed. man, i'm tired.
huh. yeah, sam supposes that was a little weird.
"and they just slammed their doors. loud, man." dean continues. "like, this place is so big, but we could hear it in here. two big bangs."
why would they slam their doors? it was like they wanted the two of them to know they went to bed? why would they do that?
"no," sam says, slowly. he'd know if the two older versions of themselves were fighting. the very air changed when they were fighting. a few weeks ago, their older selves had an argument, and sam felt physically sick to his stomach until he walked in on them talking quietly a few days later, beers in hand, heads tilted together in quiet conversation.
it was like the world shifted a little bit until all was right again. sam supposed it made some kind of twisted sense--he'd always hated when he and dean were on the outs, and this way, sam doesn't have the buoyancy of righteous anger to keep him afloat. he was getting all the nausea with none of the conviction when his older self wasn't talking to dean.
"i don't think they're fighitng." sam elaborates, when dean leans closer. "we would know, right?"
dean sighs, deflated at the lack of actual drama. "whatever" he grunts, going back to his book. sam rolls his eyes.
~~~
sam snaps awake, his hand reaching under his pillow for his knife. the cool handle is a comforting weight in his palm, but as he blinks his eyes open, he doesn't know exactly what woke him up.
he sits up, and finds dean already sitting up in his bed.
when they arrived in the future, those few weeks ago, their older selves had originally given them their own rooms down the hallway from their own. but halfway through that first night, he and dean had ran into each other in the hallway, and agreed to find a room with two twins, instead. sam had never really slept in a room by himself, and it was surprisingly, deeply unnerving. first, he shared rooms with his dad and dean, then dean, then his college roommate, then jess, then dean again. sleeping alone...sam didn't like it.
he especially hadn't liked being apart from dean in such a strange, new place, and dean seemed to be of the same mind. they told their older selves that they were moving into their new room in a separate wing, and their older selves had only nodded.
"what's that sound?" dean asks, eyes wide. that's when sam hears it.
"it's not human," sam says, barely awake but able to recognize that at least--it's a low, keening, moan, something that might sound like language but can't be, repetitive. it echoes in the hallways, reverberating.
it definitely doesn't sound good, but dean is especially agitated, hands on either side of his head.
"it sounds--it sounds like--"
then, a scream. it shreds along all of sam's nerves. it's human. god, that noise had to have been human the entire time.
dean is up like a shot. he's pale, dropping the gun he'd grabbed from underneath his own pillow, scrambling for the door. "sammy," dean says. "it's sammy."
sam clambers after him, heart in his throat. there's no way that's older sam. it sounded more animal than human, more tortured than anything living or dead sam has ever heard.
when they get to older sam's room, older dean is already on his bed, sam hauled backwards into dean's chest, dean resting against the headboard. older sam is twisted in the sheets, but older dean rests atop them. he's muttering something in sam's hair, something low, soft, quick, gentle words. sam is holding onto dean like he is going to fly apart, eyes closed tight, breathing laboriously.
sam and dean stand in the doorway, dean's hand an iron band on sam's arm as they watch their older selves embrace.
older sammy is so crumpled in dean's arms, pressing himself into something small and holdable and fragile, that they look like a mother and child, dean smoothing his nose against the curve of sammy's hair.
"he's okay," older dean says, but his voice cracks. he clears it, and all vulnerability is gone--his eyes are sharp when he looks up at them. "go back to bed. he's gonna be okay."
sam has to pull his dean away, dean's eyes never leaving older sam, nose pressed hard into the curve of older dean's bicep.
~~~
sammy snaps awake, his hand reaching under his pillow for his knife. he sits up immediately, the heavy weight of it in his palm a steadying presence.
dean is standing in the doorway, palms up. dean--his dean, thirty eight year old dean, not the kid from 2006. sammy relaxes immediately, dropping his arm against the bedspread.
"what the hell?" he whispers, voice low.
"i can't sleep," dean says, simply. a spark of irritation makes sam's lips press together, hard.
that's probably the truth, but it sure as hell isn't the whole truth. dean's been treating him with kid gloves for the past week. sam's shoulders slump. he can't blame him.
ever since they stopped sharing a bed, sam's been a fucking wreck.
the first week the kids were here--ugh. no. them. their younger selves. sam still doesn't know what to call them, but calling them 'kids' make sam feel like...dad, funnily enough.
regardless, the first week their younger selves were here, sammy had left their shared room one morning and run straight into younger sam coming down the hallway. younger sam had gotten confused, and asked him why he was coming out of dean's bedroom. sammy hadn't known what to say, realizing horribly that he was about to be forced to admit that he's fucking his own brother.
he lies. he lies like a son of a bitch. somehow--fuck--sam believed him. sam's really good at telling when dean's lying, but it turns out, not as familiar with his own tells in third person. fine.
so they'd gone to their separate rooms. for weeks, they haven't shared a bed.
and sam's nightmares had gotten worse. exponentially worse. he hadn't thought that sharing a bed with dean had made things better, but clearly, he was wrong.
it's like--sam flinches--lucifer knows. he knows that dean's not there to protect sam when sam's vulnerable, when he can't control his own mind. every night, lucifer traipses back into sam's psyche, pulls him apart with gentle strings. sam's woken up screaming more nights than not.
after the fit a few days ago, sam screaming in enochian so loud that he woke up their younger selves, dean's been glued to sam's side.
sam can see how much their forced separation has affected his brother, too. dean has dark circles under his eyes most mornings, yawning throughout the day, snappish with everyone around him.
"just." dean clears his throat. "ah. just thought i'd take a nap in here. i've got my timer." dean reaches into the pocket of his dead-guy robe and waves his phone in the air.
sam rubs a hand over his face. god, he wants it. he needs dean's skin on his so bad he feels like he'll be sick with it. he feels thirty seconds away from sitting up on his knees and begging dean to touch him again.
he hadn't realized just how often they touched. how much they weren't allowed to, now. hands on waists as they pass by in the kitchen. knees pressed together under library tables. arms slung across the backs of couches. sam coming into the garage to do his research and have dean within his line of sight. dean trudging into the archives with a duffle bag of rifles to clean so he and sam can work in tandem silence.
but now...nothing. no dean in his bed, no dean in his peripheral vision. no dean, anywhere.
"we can't." sam says. "they'll find out. we were infuriatingly persistent back then, remember?"
dean shrugs, already stepping forward and tossing his robe on the back of sam's desk chair.
hell, sam hasn't even been in this room--his own room, technically--in months. they'd moved into dean's room after this...thing. started.
"nah. they've been buying our separate-room schtick so far." he taps his phone screen a few times, and flips it around to show sam. "look. five hours. that's all i'm askin' for here, man. five hours and i'm gone."
sam's so tempted. he's so...so tempted. he hasn't had a proper night's rest in weeks. just hearing dean's breathing as dean sits down on the corner of sam's bed has his eyelids dropping, pathetic fucking pavlovian response to dean finally being close enough to touch after weeks of withdrawal.
"five hours." sam slurs, arm flopping out lazily. dean beams.
"yeah," he says, flicking hte corner of sam's sheets up and crawling into bed next to him. the bed dips, and sam realizes his eyes are closed. when...when did that happen? "five hours."
dean's voice, his breath, his warmth. he manhandles sam into their usual position, chest rising and falling where sam can feel it.
sam doesn't dream.
~~~
"you're a bastard," dean snarls, a warning finger up. sammy freezes in the doorway, having already closed dean's door behind him. his shoulders tense guiltily.
"wha--"
dean glares, gesturing down at sam's waist.
"you think you can just come in here looking like that?" dean snaps, hissing through his teeth. he doesn't know where their mini-mes are, but he knows they're not far away enough to not hear sam. or dean, frankly, if they really get going.
sammy--a thirty-four-year-old grown man--pouts. and fuck him, it works.
"no," dean says, backing away. "you made me promise, man. no funky business."
"funky business?" sam repeats, incredulous, turning fully to face dean. fuck. that thing is a monster. dean's mouth waters.
morning wood, you foul mistress.
he hasn't been allowed to touch sam's dick in three fucking weeks, and so sue him if his system's a bit backlogged. dean had barely heard the little knock on his door that morning, sammy pressing his way into dean's room with his dick hard enough to break fucking rock.
dean's own dick is starting to take an interest in his flannel pyjama pants. fuck. sam looks good. rumpled hair, sleepy eyes, bottom lip wet as his mouth pulls up in a smirk.
dean's woken up more than once these past few weeks with visions of sammys just like this one dancing above his head.
"sammy if you take one step closer, mini-me's gonna find out." dean warns. fuck. if sam doesn't get out soon...dean takes a step closer.
"don't care," sammy says, taking another bold step forward, and dean's reaching out. he looks strung out, desperate, thick bags under his eyes and fingers twitching forward towards dean. "we'll be quiet. dean, i--"
dean never finds out what sam was going to say next. in fact, neither of them say anything for a while, a shirt stuffed in sam's mouth to keep him quiet and dean's own hand slapped tight over his own mouth to stifle the frankly humiliating noises he makes.
the whole thing is over embarrassingly quickly.
~~~
dean's eyes blink open. there are hushed voices in the hallway, and it takes a second for dean's sleepy brain to process them.
it's older him, in the hallway, and a few second later, older sam responds.
dean looks across the small aisle between his and his own sam's bed--2006 sam--but sammy is still asleep.
"look at them!" older dean hisses. "c'mon man! they're practically on top of each other!"
younger dean wakes up a bit more.
"it doesn't matter, dean," older sammy says, exasperated, like this is a conversation they've had a million times. "they're not...what we are."
dean frowns.
"not yet." older sam amends.
"if they don't figure their shit out soon, i'm gonna die young."
"young?" sam repeats, laughing tone.
"shaddup." dean grumbles.
older them have to be talking about him. him and his sam. god, this whole thing is confusing.
what did his older self mean they were practically on top of each other? he looks over at his sam again. sam is sleeping on the side of his bed closest to dean's bed, and dean is on the side of his bed closest to sam. sure, dean's arm is resting in the empty space between their beds, but he got in the habit of doing that when sam starting having his visions. if sam's in pain, he wants to know. and it's easier for sam to get his attention this way if he needs him.
honeslty, dean has no idea how his older self can stand sleeping apart from older sammy. especially given sammy's nightmares...if it were him, he'd put up a cot in sam's room, and sam could deal. his older self is some kind of bastard for not doing that. frankly, it's a miracle his older self can even sleep without the sound of sammy's breaths in the room. dean knows he can't.
"we can't keep doing this, sammy." older dean says, quieter. and...softer. warmer. dean shifts on his bed, uncomfortable. "i can't keep doing this."
"we'll figure it out," older sam says, just as gentle, just as tired. "that's what we do."
their footsteps recede. dean shifts closer to sam, almost falling off of his bed, and watches his brother's face in his sleep. whatever they're doing...yeah. they always figure it out.
~~~
EEP i hope this was to your liking!!!! i hope that you are doing so well, and know that every time i saw this ask in our drafts, it made my day a little brighter! thank you for the ask! <3
-lizzy
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WIP WEDNESDAY (ON A THURSDAY)
tagged by @inell! thanks, lovely 🩷 my tags are beneath the cut at the bottom of the excerpt.
this is from one of my many wips—all of which i hope to see the light of day one day, but my currently unmedicated adhd arse is in charge at the moment so i guess we'll just have to see who makes it out alive lol
.
“It'll always be you, Eds.”
Buck beams across the table at him and Eddie thinks of Texas sunshine in late July and of violet fire and Supernovas.
He feels his best friend's words and that blinding smile in his gut like a constant, gnawing hunger, but Eddie's an old hand at starving himself of his desires and doesn't know how to answer anyway so just winks and smiles back, and it's a dim little effort peeking out from the cover of the shady place Eddie's been cowering in for a while—ever since the violent incandescence of the lightning strike, since Buck fucking died—while he tries his utmost not to freak out two-fold: 1) at the non-stop panic attack-inducing possibility of something as completely fucked-up as those three minutes and seventeen seconds happening al over again and 2) self-abasing distress over whether or not here is just where Eddie lives, now.     
In the shadows.
He breathes in deeply, yet silently and as motionless as he possibly can, and prays that his hopefully not too wild-eyed expression isn't giving away his hard-won hiding place.
Buck shouldn't be able to just say stuff like that to him. It's torture. And while Eddie may very well be a masochist, he does have his limits. Sure, right now his partner is actually only talking about them teaming up for Pictionary and whatever other games the group will undoubtedly end up threatening each other over this evening, but still. Eddie can't help hearing some things in the way he's desperate to hear them.
Those things he wishes Buck meant for real.
Whether Eddie is capable of admitting it or not (maybe he has some kind of defect when it comes to this shit?), he now knows inherently that it'll always be Buck for him from here on out.
Buck is then merciless, adding, “You're my ride or die, Diaz! It's you and me forever, right?” just to murder Eddie in cold blood right here in the middle of Hen and Karen's living room in front of all their friends.
And ¡Dios mio!, Eddie is so totally fucking fucked.
.
@woodchoc-magnum @sortasirius @angela-feelstoomuch @rosieposiepuddingnpie @colonoscopys
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whiteboardartstudios · 11 months ago
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Goodbye, Gendaen
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fan art for @mtqcomic
Thoughts and LONG ramble under the cut! (includes spoilers!!!)
A while ago (like last week maybe?) I realized that I've been following this comic for almost a year, and I still haven't drawn Mysta yet! I figured that with the recent end of Chapter 3 and that *huge* lore drop (I was NOT expecting that oh my goodness the theory wheels are turning in the void that is my brain) now would be a pretty good time to draw her! So that's where this came from! :D
I thought that it would be fun to draw Mysta looking sort of like a knight? Partially because it makes for cool posing and composition but also because I think that if she was in D&D she would be a paladin due to the whole "Hero sent by Destiny" thing (I considered sorcerer or warlock as well, but her moveset is mostly melee at the moment so I thought that paladin fits better. Plus this opens up the possibility of Gendaen being an Oathbreaker paladin, depending on how that whole situation with the Crimson went. (also now I kind of want to put the main cast of mtq in D&D even though I don't actually know a lot about D&D ToT. I think Eth would be a ranger maybe multiclassed into something magic-related, because rangers have a favored enemy mechanic that gives them advantages on fighting a certain type of enemy, which could be Crimson enemies for D&D Eth. Yele is (kind of obviously) a druid because of the whole dryad thing, and Zaïl is definitely giving rogue energy to me.)) Anyways, D&D-related sidetrack aside – hello??? End-of-chapter-3 lore drop? (/positive) I have SO many questions. First of all, what happened to convince Gendaen to switch sides? For someone who allegedly spent his entire life trying to cleanse the Crimson, it would've taken one heck of a worldview-upending revelation to get him to join it. With the information we currently have, it seems pretty clear that Gendaen isn't mind-controlled or corrupted or anything – not just because of the reasons Eth gave in page #169, but also because from all the interactions we've had with Nelun Soma'o/Gendaen, he seemed to be pretty chill? I pointed out in my first fan art post that it doesn't seem as if Nelun Soma'o is being built up to be a villain character and is instead more of an antagonist with a slight mentor role, and I think that still kind of holds up now. Gendaen definitely wants Mysta to help him and/or the Crimson with something, and as Yele said in that recent comic, things aren't really adding up. I'm still slightly suspicious of the Order of Learning as well (insert person pointing at conspiracy theory board meme here lol), since you would think that if Gendaen and Eth are really close then Gendaen might have told Eth about the whole Crimson situation, right? On Page #250 (which is marked as 150??? probably a typo but idk) Gendaen says that he didn't want Eth to be roped into this whole situation, which could be a reason for keeping him in the dark – though if he knew Eth really well then he might have suspected that Eth wouldn't just let him disappear and would go searching for him. Another possible reason (in my theory) if the Order is evil or something and Gendaen learned something that he shouldn't have learned, maybe he knew that Eth wouldn't believe him because of his loyalty to the Order? I may just be connecting random dots and calling it a picture here but *something* is going on and until we get more clues on what that may be, I'm sticking with this theory lol :P EDIT, I was rereading Gendaen's character sheet and it says there that he has a strong code of honor and fights for the underdogs (not the exact phrasing but it's close). 👀 does that mean the Crimson is in some sort of underdog position? 👀
Anyways back to the drawing a little, I gave both Gendaen and Mysta a sort of braid-like element in their designs to sort of tie them together a bit visually (Mysta's is on the sides of her head, which is kind of hard to see so I added a little ribbon to show that parts of her hair is tied back, and Gendaen's is in his golden hair accessory thingy). I think that there's definitely some sort of correlation between Gendaen's disappearance/switching to the Crimson and Mysta being sent to Sol Ybberia, and I also think that both of them are going to play an important role in whatever happens in the future, hence the braids (to show that their destinies are kind of intertwined, as the two Heroes of Sol Ybberia). I also thought that it would be fun to put Gendaen in a stained glass window instead of actually physically being present, because up until the Nelun Soma'o reveal, all the things we know about Gendaen are basically all from Eth's recollections of him, which for me definitely paints a bit of a "Character haunting the narrative" kind of vibe. I also think that with the Nelun Soma'o reveal, the somewhat glorified (for a lack of a better word – I think Eth might be a little biased when it comes to Gendaen, considering that Gendaen has been missing for about 5 years, if my math is correct? 5 years feels like a long time to me and I think that if a person important to me has been missing for that long then my impression of them would definitely start warping to how I want to remember them/who I wanted them to be and I might start unintentionally ignoring the things that doesn't quite match that image in my head. Speaking of/case in point, Eth's reaction to the Nelun Soma'o reveal!) image of Gendaen that we had got thrown in a metaphorical blender with our idea of the Crimson at the time, and it just makes things a whole lot more complicated in a very interesting way. (If you look at the bottom right of the image you can see Nelun Soma'o's cloak coming out of stained-glass Gendaen's cloak, which I thought would be a fun little detail to include). Hence, the stained glass is kind of the "perfect Hero who disappeared to advance the plot" Gendaen and we can see Mysta kind of splitting the glass with her Rotted Fork from a composition point of view, referencing that huge lore bomb she dropped a couple of pages ago and how that changes our (or at least my) perception of Gendaen as a character entirely. I really do like the plot twist, as I think it makes Gendaen a more 3-dimensional character with more complicated motivations and narrative significance, as before I mainly knew him as "predecessor to Mysta" and "one of Eth's sources of motivation", but now he my understanding of Gendaen also extends to things about Gendaen himself and not just about his role in relation to other characters (for example, "Gendaen is helping the Crimson for reasons currently unknown" or "Gendaen is planning something that involves Mysta??? and he's in the Void??? And apparently Mysta is supposed to jailbreak him out at some point in the future?" He definitely has something planned behind the scenes, I don't know what it is and I want to find out).
MORE THINGS about Gendaen (can you tell that he's my favorite character at the moment ToT), what's up with those last words? If I'm correct (and I think I am, I scrolled all the way back to the page where the gods were introduced just to check this ToT), Nomù is Compassion? How is compassion related to Gendaen's alliance with the Crimson? I mean, when you think of the Crimson, compassion definitely is NOT the first value that comes to mind. Right now it seems that to me, Gendaen's plan with Mysta and the Crimson and the Void is connected to Nomù somehow? (the "I won't disappoint you" is definitely interesting). I don't have a lot of thoughts or theories on where this might be going, I just thought that it was something interesting to metaphorically chew on for the next while. It definitely seems like it has some sort of narrative significance, at least.
There might be more things that I wanted to talk about, but I can't really think of them off the top of my head right now (it might be due to the fact that it's currently quite late in my time zone ToT I am sleepy) so that's all from me for now :D (Also dropping the version of the drawing with just the lineart here because I think it looks really cool)
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I hope you have a really nice day and/or night! :D
*a starry rift in space opens up in front of me and I faceplant into it like it is a mattress* (gotta make that dramatic exit!) [Image ID: The first image is a colored and rendered image of Mysta from the Mysta's Terrarian Quest webcomic standing in front of a stained glass window of Gendaen. She is holding the Rotted Fork spear from Terraria, and she has a determined expression on her face. The stained glass shows Gendaen with his back turned to the audience, and one closed eye is visible. His cloak is flowing to the right of the image, where it emerges out of the stained glass as it fades from green to dark grey. Crimson vines, green trees, and white clouds surrounds Gendaen in the stained glass. Outside of the glass portrait, real crimson vines are creeping along the stone walls that the portrait is on, framing the portrait and Mysta in the middle. A red light source is shining down from the upper right corner of the drawing. End ID.] [Image ID: The second image is a work-in-progress version of the first image without any color and only some minimal shading, with all shades being in monochrome. Mysta's lineart is noticeably darker compared to the line art of the background. End ID.]
EDIT: Forgot to add image ids, they're here now TwT
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bellzsad · 7 months ago
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No wait, elaborate on the dob being problematic post please. I feel so uneducated lol 💜
okay so first of all let me preface by saying: i LOVE dylan obrien. like, you see all these interviews where he's acting like the dream romcom love interest, and his connection with his castmates, and his personality. like it think that's a quality of his that we should praise. i also want to say that i am SO scared to post this ?? toxic girl fans are scary asf. but i've been wanting to make a post like this for a while, because like, yes, he is one of my fav actors but you can't say that you love him and not acknowledge some of the questionable things that have happened. ALSO let me say; i'm not saying that he should get cancelled. i'm not saying that he should face consequences, i just want to bring light to all of this because i think it's wrong to just overlook these things and act like nothing happened ?
okay so first: the twitter post. basically what happened was that when the overturn of roe v. wade and everything was going on, dylan tweeted "fuck your bible". this upset a lot of people, rightfully so !! he said it in the context that abortion should NOT be banned, as people were using the bible as an excuse FOR it to be banned. i respect that, HOWEVER - you can't just say that, i feel ? i don't know, i'm not religious so please don't take my word on this, i don't speak for the people, but just in general, like... that's someone's beliefs and religion. i think there was a better way to go about sharing his opinion. like, don't put down other people's beliefs because of your own? the message just comes across wrong and i know the intent was not malicious, but it's seriously something that makes me raise my eyebrow.
then we have rachael lange, who is dylan's current girlfriend. they started dating early 2023, i believe. for some background info, i guess, she's a model based in nyc.
so this is the main point of this post, because this is what honestly makes me the most upset, i guess ? so when people found out that they were together, obviously as people do, they did some digging. TURNS OUT rachael had some twitter posts, actually not some, but MANY racist tweets from her past. she said the n word, she joked about having pictures of children on her phone or smth (also hate tweets calling taylor swift a whore, which i'll get to later !!) - idk, you can look it up, i'm not going to get into the specifics on here. point is that it was terrible. she was at least 15 at the time here. the tweets span from like 2013 to 2015, but the taylor ones were in 2017. which like… you know not to say those things when you’re 15 ?? not to mention when you’re 16 and 17 and 18 or whatever. so age is NOT an excuse here.
HERE'S MY TAKE: and before you guys go "omg, bel, are you excusing racism? are you saying it's okay?" i am NOT saying that. do not put words in my mouth! whenever i look at controversies and things, i try to look at it from all angles. i try to understand every side. i try to step in everyone's shoes. so here's my thing:
dylan probably didn't know about the tweets before getting with rachael. do i think that after the tweets came out something should've happened? yes. however, if you spend time falling in love with someone, just to find out that they did something in their past - it's hard to just stop your feelings like that, understandably. i'm sure rachael now is, hopefully, not like that. i hope she's better. also, if you always focus on the past, you can't move on, so i can understand why dylan is still together with her, BUT:
he didn't even acknowledge the tweets? he's always been very open about his opinions and beliefs, and how people shouldn't be treated like that and yada yada so it's a bit hypocritical of him to just... not say anything. not address it. and CONTINUE to date her. the image he puts out is so positive, yet this is making it pretty negative, so...?
but anyway, we can't do anything about it. i just think that the whole situation is problematic asf, like yeah it's not dylan's fault for his girlfriend being an ass in the past, but this with everything else just feels a bit weird ngl.
OKAY i'm moving on now, the rachael thing is just sm, if you want me to elaborate please lmk because yeah
so the last thing is a SOMEWHAT a rumor. i want to make that clear. it's a rumor, HOWEVER there's a lot stacked up against it, so make of that what you will.
taylor swift hired dylan obrien to star in the all too well film alongside sadie sink a few years back. that was fine, dylan and taylor were then connected and that became a fun friendship that people were fans of! they were clearly on good terms. THEN he starts dating rachael, and it's like... what? because this man has not been to a single eras tour concert. but whatever, right? it is what it is.
but there's also gracie abrams, who is basically like taylor's little sister now. they have a song together, which is rumored to be about dylan obrien, because dylan and gracie were spotted together (prior to rachael and dylan becoming a thing) once. ONCE. dylan has been spotted with a bunch of girls before, such as sabrina carpenter, chloe grace moretz, etc., which obv sparked dating rumors but like whatever ?? however this just gets complicated because gracie is related to taylor, and if gracie's new song "cool" is about dylan (rumored), then things are a bit messy.
AGAIN, just a rumor. so this honestly to me isn't that problematic, but something definitely happened between taylor and dylan (most likely rachael + her tweets) to split them up, so it's not THAT innocent. but at the end of the day i don't really care about this taylor gracie stuff compared to the other two because it's a rumor and honestly just seems like a relationship that didn't work out. still worth mentioning tho.
THAT'S IT holy shit so scared to post this. again if u want me to elaborate LMK because i swear i'm not an asshole! i am just trying to view things from all angles and all perspectives and want to give ppl the benefit of the doubt (unfortunately i always see the good in people)
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fayedartmouth · 5 months ago
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Too many but im a curious person <3
🥸 🫘 🦷 💥 🛏
I'm gonna put my answers beneath a cut because whatever. I talk a lot, lol.
🥸 Does anyone in IRL know you write fanfic or original fiction? If not, do you plan on telling anyone this year?
Yes! Though KNOWING is not the same as letting them read it, and I've gained a significant amount of comfort in telling people that I write and that I write fic over the years. I'm old enough now that I know who I am and what I like, and I'm not super keen to apologize for it. So I've told my sister-in-law that I write it but when she asked to read it, I politely laughed it off and she never brought it up again. I told my daughter (who is 13) I write it, but I'm definitely not ready for her to read anything.
My husband knows and he's read a limited amount of it. If he had the wherewithal, he could easily find my stuff online but he hasn't for whatever reason. He would like me to talk more about it, but that's just hard for me to do. I think it's not so much that I write fic, but like the very specific type of fic that I write. I don't feel like having to explain why I'm obsessed with whumping my faves.
I have one coworker who knows and he does seem to read my stuff from time to time and talk to me about it. Which is surreal and kind of neat. He's been very chill about it and doesn't seem to think I'm a complete weirdo for the fact that I write as much as I do or what I do.
But like people like my parents? They will never know. LOL, never.
🫘 Spill the beans. What's a new project you're doing this year?
I wish I had a new one to talk about it! But I think I've blathered about the big ones already. The fix-it is a huge project for me, and that will preoccupy me for a while. At some point, I have to get back to Best of a Bad Deal Book Three, but I think my goal is to finish the first fic of my fix-it series.
Beyond that, there's nothing "big." I'm writing a Sarah and JJ as siblings fic for a friend, and I've got a bunch of other WIPs. I also have like two-three other really pressing ideas for shorter fix-its I'd LIKE to write but it is unclear if I'd ever have the time.
But yeah, I don't think I have anything dramatically new I haven't talked about.
🦷 Is there a chapter, scene, or WIP you're dreading to write (but is necessary to your plot)? Share a snippet or tell us about it!
Yes, I think so. With the fix-it, I ended up basically supplementing all of the back half of S4 because I just needed to for context and balance and in my head it was the only way to approach it. My problem is that I don't want to rewatch those episodes at all. In fact, at this point, I don't want to rewatch anything. Writing fic is great -- I'm good with that. But watching the show is still just too hard and I'm not sure I'll ever get to the point where I'll enjoy it again, even in small sections. Which kills me. To never watch Midsummers again? To never watch JJ's hot tub scene again? But it's just hard.
That said, I will do it because I need to ground the fix-it in what we saw on screen. I'd post a snippet but this answer is getting kind of long anyway. If you want more snippets, just ask. I'll share anything.
💥Is there a chapter, scene, or WIP you're most excited to write? Share a snippet or tell us about it!
Always! I'm excited about so many things. Most of the time, I tend to be most excited about upcoming whump. There's a scene in the second fic of the fix-it that I'm obsessed with but I feel like I shouldn't share it yet because I don't know. It seems like it gives too much away.
So I'll post a snippet at the very bottom here from JJ's recovery bit of the fix-it, when he's holed up in Morocco without the Pogues. Let's just say he's not doing well and his self destructive tendencies become a lot more overt as he takes a knife to his own stitches.
This fic is largely about JJ's downward spiral. The scene below isn't even his rock bottom, the poor guy.
🛏 Is there a new trope you'd like to write this year?
I don't know! I haven't actively thought about it. I think I've been doing fic a long, long time so I feel like I've been there and done quite a few things. I'm also guilty of going back to the same tropes that I love time and time again. So nothing is on my mind right now? But I'm really easily persuaded and I love new idea and new things. I love writing, so being challenged to do something new is always up my alley, even if right now my focus is nearly exclusively on making sure JJ isn't dead.
Here's the snippet:
It wasn’t as much a conscious thought as it was an inevitability.  His fingers were unusually steady as he reached the blade down, catching the first stitch and teasing it out–
And with a single, hard motion, he jerked his hand up, slicing clean through the stitch with surprising ease.  For a split second, the shock was all.  Then, blood welled up almost in protest.  And finally – belatedly – the numb echo of pain as it shuddered through his body.
The pain felt different, though.  It felt good.  It felt <i>right</i>.
At the very least, he decided, it felt real.
His lips twitched up with an unfamiliar rush of satisfaction.  The relief felt like the best kind of high, and it took nothing to catch the second stitch and rip it clean, too.
These quick fixes.  These temporary patches.
They didn’t work.
If they saved his life for a day, two days?  A week?
Even a year?
What did it matter?
They were just prolonging the inevitable.
Everybody knew it.
<i>Everybody</i>.
Luke couldn’t raise him.  John B’s friendship couldn’t save him.  Pope’s sacrifice was lost on him, and Kie’s love would never be enough to redeem him.
His mama had left him.
Groff had seen him, small and needy, and knew it wasn’t worth it.
Now, all JJ could do was let it bleed.
He had to let it bleed out.
There was no one left to hold him together.  He was alone, just like he was meant to be.
So he would take himself apart, stitch–
He cut the next one, slicing deeper with a grimace–
By stitch–
The pain hitched and his breathing tightened as he cut through the next–
By stitch–
The blood was weeping now, covering his abdomen.  He could feel it, trailing down his back and soaking into the sheets.  He watched, morbidly fascinated, as it left him, and the thrum of his heart rose tremulously in his ears.  His cuts were getting sloppier, reopening the wound and cutting into the healing skin.  He didn’t stop, though.  He couldn’t stop.
He grappled at the stitches, pulling the threads clean out of the skin until there was nothing left for his bloody fingers to grab.  His vision began to swim, and he had to put down the bottle to finish the work, pulling out the frayed edges until the blood made it too hard to see and there was nothing left to grab.
JJ exhaled, feeling light headed again.  His fingers were like lead weights as it slipped away from him, and he narrowed his focus as best he could, but it was a fleeting, impossible thing.  It hurt more than he thought it would, but the pain was part of it.  It defined him, and he held onto it as long as he could until he exhaled again.
His bloody fingers fell away.  The sound of his heart grew faint, and he lay there, open and exposed.  It was okay now.  He’d held on too long, he’d fought too hard.  He could let it bleed, let it go.
Until there was nothing left at all.
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not-souleaterpost · 25 days ago
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Rethinking Fire Force and Ohkubo?
With the recent "news" of Ohkubo actually having a child, it made me think - even after recently being reminded of some kinda messed stuff Ohkubo contributed to - about the negative reading I and many others shared about Fire Force's ending, it's telos to be more pretentious. Guess spoilers if you care for that
So a common interpretiation is that the ending of Fire Force is kinda a retreat into nostalgia, going backwards into the comforting fantasy of Soul Eater, both for the readers and the author "oh remember 2008, everything was so much easier..." Especially with how the series started as a kinda direct spiritual sequel to SE - with picking right up from the DWMA graduation, making Shinra a fresh recruit to the workforce, basically looking like Soul without his teenage rebelion white hair. It ending with "oh actually this is a prequel" felt like some Freudian return to the womb, like being scared of growing up and facing the "despair" it so wanted to say something meaningful about. Yet maybe all the talk about not fearing death and the continuation of Shinra's legacy in both direct children and distan future ancestors was not as empty as thought - because if he actually changed his life in a way where he could start a commited relationship with something that lead to an actuall family with kids (not just two netfix watcher with a cat or something lol) - then it may make sense. Then "making death closer" is the realization of that even if you die you continue on in your children, that you life for them, thus why fear for your own existence, it becomes secondary (well acording to some parents atleast) - even the turning of the world into one full of magical bullshit could be seen as both as experiencing magic again with the birth of a child and the childishness with which one has to explain the world to a knew person (like calling a device that shows time "Mr Clock" etc) Basically seeing family as an adventure, and the world that Shinra created not being one of some endless DnD campaign to do while the real world rots around you but as something meaningful, even in it's absurdity - like some people say "what can a kid change, they will make your life hell and eventually hate you like you do your parents". If one stretches, one could then justify the weird focus on sex. Even if porn seems to be the opposite of creating a family in my view - yet if Ohkubo's child was born recently, maybe that was his own juvenile view that know will be transformed by the realities of actually caring about another child and realising, better late than never: "Man maybe drawing the underpants of a 12 year old girl kinda is not the best thing to do?" Damn. Anyways, all the kinda hard allegations aside, guess I'll just congratulate Ohkubo for crawling out of his own hole of despair - maybe naively, because of course having children often can bring even larger problems and depresion but let's be positive and hope for the best, redemption and life in all ways - and a personal apology for shitting on him, even if I still moraly disagree with a lot of stuff he did, but in the end grandstanding shouldn't lead to sadistic fantasys, even if it often is. But if this all seems like a directionless ramble: yeah...sorry
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raelle-writing · 1 year ago
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The reality is that most kids would be either a Fluke or Jin. If nothing else it’s because they don’t also want to be bullied or ostracized by their friends. You can criticize the choices that Jin makes but realize that he is also a child that doesn’t yet have the maturity and wisdom of an adult. I see this group of teens and their treatment of Non as a cautionary tale. Obviously this is ultimately a horror/thriller so everything is heightened to the extreme. Therefore I don’t have an issue with the gore, mayhem and fantastical elements. But this type of bullying could and does happen in real life sometimes with devastating tragedies. So I do wish that people on social media were more careful of the terms they use and directly harassing your character is not a good look. Hurling insults behind a computer screen hurts just as much as doing it in person. (IMO) The fact that they are essentially bullying you is ironic considering what DFF is about.
There is a certain irony to watch the fandom turn into bullies in defense of the bullied character. I understand being defensive of the characters you like (I'm defensive of Jin in case you haven't noticed lol). But I understand why people don't like him. I've never justified all of his actions, but I do genuinely think people are too hard on him a lot of the time.
And I also wish all the Non defenders would have a bit of nuance about his character too because he's a victim, but that doesn't exempt him from hurting others. I'll never say he cheated because I beleive we shouldn't apply that word to a situation involving coercion and power imbalances. But Non does still get his friends arrested. And he does lie to and gaslight Phee. And those are okay things to acknowledge while still having sympathy for him as a character.
I agree with you. I think most people wouldn't even do as much as Jin tbh because while he doesn't do enough arguably, he does a lot as far as defending Non over and over and over (even up until after Non disappears he's still snapping at his friends to address Non by his name). And it's really hard to be that level of defiant to your peers constantly. It's waaaaaaay easier to be Fluke and look the other way and tell yourself that you're not involved then, even if you could stop it.
Everyone online seems to have a hero complex and think they'd do the Absolute Right Thing even when there's no clear right thing in certain situations, and then they demonize these teenagers for not doing those things. (I made a thread on Twitter talking about Jin lying to the police and police corruption in the DFF narrative and in Thailand in general, including linking to a bunch of Thai tweets that talk about that and I got people replying to me saying that they live in countries with police corruption but they still would've told the truth to the police even if they would've disappeared and I got a good laugh out of that. It's so easy to be the hero in your head in a hypothetical situation, but reality is a lot harder than that).
Yeah, I don't know why this particular fandom seems to be so caught up on "if you like a character that I view as morally bad then YOU are a bad person" especially considering the audience crossover to the KPTS fandom like. Were you mad at all of the mafia boys doing mafia things in KPTS becaussssssse that was worse than a lot of what's happening in DFF so far ahahahaha
Anyway, I'm not ever going to demand that everyone likes Jin. I don't particularly care of people like him or not as long as they're not coming after ME about it. I wish people were a little less... vitriolic about the mistakes of teenagers, though I understand why many people are so mad about it. I just can't get past the idea that these people were all kids when they made these mistakes, and it's hard to see even Por die because I have sympathy for them all. Did they fuck up? Duh. Do they deserve to die...? I have a hard time with that, but I'm trying to be mentally prepared ahahahaha
I also hope all the people out there who have decided Jin is the worst person ever and deserves to die are prepared for if that doesn't happen. Because there are a lot of threads in the narrative point pretty strongly to a future redemption for him IMO (tho of course they could go in another direction, anything is possible at this point). And I have a feeling that all those people who are calling me names on Twitter aren't going to handle it well if Jin get redeemed or like... lives in the end. I have a feeling they won't handle that well.
Anyway, thanks for the message 💕
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le-trash-prince · 11 months ago
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I've been in a "watch 500 van conversion tour videos" mood lately so i'm just gonna post some of my thoughts (lots of complaining about YT and lifestyle minimalists here)
as always I hate YT's algorithm and how difficult it is to get past the wall of full-time influencers
Legitimately I hate when youtubers are like "here's an instructional video on how to do [thing i am doing for the first time]." This is something I genuinely think YT has damaged about DIY culture because ppl think that you can learn something just by watching a video. Like yes, you can receive instruction through a video, but you have not actually learned how to do something with your hands until you have learned it with your hands, and even then you shouldn't be giving people instruction on how to do it when you've only done it once??
I think the Malaysian food ep of Dish Granted is a really good example of this, when Steven is like "oh I'll pull chai while spinning in a circle the way the chaiwallahs do" and then realizes the hubris of that statement bc there is a high level of physical skill involved in what they do that simply watching a video simply does not magically gift you. I was really glad when Ronny Chieng basically called him out "sure the meal is good for a first attempt that you threw together but you can't pretend this compares to actual Malaysian street food. Like as street food it's crap lol"
in that vein I hate the videos that are titled "here's the best way to do xyz for your van" and it's like. the person's very first van build and they've never lived in a van before. like how do you know that's the best way? because you read about it on the internet?
anyways love this one tour video where 20 minutes into the tour, the dude goes "and here's my crockpot. because I really love soup." and then their camera guy who has been completely silent just busts out laughing and is crying "I rEaLLy LoVe SoUp."
one van had the BL sheets and I hate that my vision has been cursed this way
love the no-nonsense approach that the channel Cheap RV Living has.
also hate how hard it is to get past the YT algorithm of "wealthy white ppl doing xyz" and talking about the spiritual freedom it grants them to live more sustainably by getting rid of all their things that work perfectly well and then building an apartment's worth of furniture from scratch and cladding an entire van with virgin wood. did no one teach y'all about the thrift store.
every time someone is like "living in a van has enriched my life because it taught me how to be uncomfortable" i'm like "...... wait you guys were comfortable before?"
so many of the designer builds look completely the same but i will admit i do at least enjoy the current trends of interior design (warm whites, earth tones/natural wood stain, gold accents, the color green) as opposed to the whitewashed colorless shiplap trends of the 2010s. like yesss paint those lower cabinets green, go off girl. but also i have to wonder what the point of having something custom made is if it's just going to look like what everyone else has??? (aside from the fact that it garners views sure whatever)
at this point if it's a couple doing a van tour video i automatically skip it because i'm tired of the level of (fake?) cheerfulness it requires for 2 ppl to live in a 60sq ft space and talking about how "it's the best thing ever" in that social media voice. i say this but i haven't had any queer couples come across my feed yet so i could feel differently about that. I'd maybe watch videos from that lesbian couple in How to Build a Sex Room that were totally gunning for a threesome with the old lady designer.
take a shot every time a video is like STEALTH CAMPING and it's literally just someone hanging out in their van in the middle of the day watching TV before they go buy their groceries. i do that all the time, it's called "i don't want to get out of the car."
before someone even says what their previous housing status was, you can tell the diff between the homeless ppl and the rich ppl just based on who actually has stuff and is excited to talk about their stuff vs who is trying to emphasize their lack of material attachment while filming a video about their belongings.
also love the one dude who had a basic bed set-up in an otherwise empty van, went to IKEA and bought a metal folding table and a burner, set it up in the corner and had such genuine enthusiasm for having a kitchen in his car. like legitimately he was so excited and i was excited for him! vs the person looking like they were gonna murder someone bc they mismeasured a wood panel in their ~under $10K~ fully custom build.
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riagraie · 8 months ago
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I'm going fucking feral over my oc (Hanna) and her relationship with Lloyd, I've had a few things stuck in my head for too long so now you all have to see them too.
Context, really cute/fluffy/angsty/funny quotes or short comvos I've thought about for them.
Hanna will be in purple
Lloyd in green (obviously)
I'll explain the timeline of when the quote happened before each one. And I'll probably be posting an explanation of how they developed eventually lol so it'll make more sense
Advisary phase, still don't like each other (a kid pointed at Hanna and said she looked like an emo bc of her hair)
"Hah.. no. It's natural."
"Its more goth anyway."
"FSM, I hate you."
*little bit later*
".... Emo."
"Shut the FUCK UP! I AM NOT AN EMO!!"
...
Advisory phase, starting to warm up to each other (they are cooking dinner)
"You're literally a ninja. How are you this bad at cutting onions."
"Like you're any better."
"Give me the knife and I'll show you."
"Absolutely not."
"What? Afraid I'll stab you?"
"..Yes!"
...
Crushing phase, they no longer hate one another and Lloyd is fr crushing hard on Hanna... she doesn't notice and doesn't realize shes crushing hard for Lloyd too (they're chilling at the monastery and Lloyd finds Hanna trying to braid her hair and failing)
"Need some help Han?"
"No........ Maybe.....fine.. yes I do."
*after Lloyd's done*
"Thanks."
"Anytime, just have to ask sweets."
...
Hardcore flirting phase, not official yet but heavily flirting with each other(they just woke up and ran into each other in the hall)
"Good morning angel."
"Mornin' gorgeous."
"Uh.." (she doesn't handle compliments well, but dishes them out fine lmao)
...
Official couple now gang (Hanna went off to a meeting with the main villain for echoes of the echoed and Lloyd followed her...angst lol)
"I couldnt just stand by and watch you walk into a trap."
"I get it, okay? I'm not a ninja and I can barely control my powers. But I thought my boyfriend would have a little more faith in me."
...
Official couple (angst and fluff bc why not, Hanna's stressing out)
"I should just leave, let you and the others handle it. I'm not useful, I'm a liability."
"No, you shouldn't leave."
"Why not Lloyd? Every time something has gone to hell it was only made worse because of me."
"Because, I don't want you to leave. I don't give a damn how many things go wrong, I'll take care of every single one if it means you stay."
"B-but.."
"Stop it. Your not useless, your not a liability. Your amazing, beautiful, and so much stronger than you know."
"...Lloyd.."
"The team needs... I..need you here. Please sunshine."
"... Okay.."
...
I will be sharing how they said ily first, how they got together in the first place, and some other HCs probably. Plus the relationship development explanation soon.
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mamamittens · 6 months ago
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The eternal struggle of "I don't want so many excessive hours when there isn't enough work to justify it" and "damn is my paycheck going to be nice"
And I'm living it while low-key planning to give whoever the shit is panicking so hard for literally nothing a massive fucking wedgie until some sense falls out.
Anyway!
I've got a zine fic to write (probably this Saturday--work Sunday again, the bastards), two present fics, two cards, and eventually two arts?
Drew another Nikia thing, and I think it's super cute! Very nice stress relief to zone out and not worry too hard about the details since it's just for me lol
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I originally had the necklace be more like a compass but the details I wanted kinda got lost at this distance so I simplified it to just a star. Had the cute idea it was a joint gift from the boys cause a nautical star has quite a bit of meaning to sailors! So this is a nice coupley gift that isn't just their clothes lol
I like to imagine in terms of the holidays, Thatch is the most into it. Loves setting up that Instagram worthy, yet still homey, vibe for the season. He's a big goof but the closer it gets to a big event the more anal he gets about stuff. Izou has Opinions about decorations and usually ends up picking stupid arguments with Thatch about like, table runners and precise decoration placement.
Nikia loves the whole thing but does think they're a bit... Much about it. She finds it most effective to alter the decoration herself and gush about "loving being able to help them out, hopefully they don't mind--she never really got into this much before, is it alright? Should she move it?" And they usually simmer down--their focus now about either fawning over her choice, or convincing her of the merits of their own choice until she gets enough info to mediate for a better middle ground.
Thatch usually handles the food, but will let both of them help with food prep and gush about his "cute helpers" while still efficiently cooking.
When they get to be too much, she usually goes on a shopping trip for things they need ("I'll pop over to the store--no, no! It's fine! I like going on little adventures! Brb!") or sometimes shrinking and hiding if they're being entirely too much and are unlikely to let her leave alone.
Thatch does expect kisses for all his hard work and Izou will clear his throat for his own reward for contributions. It's rarely just a little kiss, too, which is why she's a little wary about this particular maneuver.
While they'd never get it as a main present, they would (half joking half serious) gift her lingerie for the season. Maybe costume lingerie if they're feeling spicy. Armed with this gift, Nikia has the fastest way to shut down any argument, but the results are... A tad exhausting. After a few times though, they'd definitely catch on and start teasing her about it when they realize they're arguing over dumb shit again.
"--the last time, the centerpiece shouldn't go on the table! There won't be room to pass food with it there unless you want everyone to pass shit around the entire fucking--ah."
"Ah."
(both looking over at Nikia expectantly.)
"I guess we're getting a little heated over silly shit again... Shame we don't have another, more pleasant outlet for all this frustration. Maybe a sexy little reindeer..."
"...I know what you're getting at, but out of context that sounds so fucking weird. Also, no. Not in the livingroom."
"Oh? Bedroom then, baby? I'm willing to set aside the centerpiece for that!"
"... I expected literally nothing less from you. Affectionately."
"...is that a yes?"
"Maybe... Guess I'll have to see how I feel when I get to our room."
(both boys watching her leave before rushing after.)
Silly nonsense, basically.
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maidenvault · 7 months ago
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hey! so I just watched rogue one for the first time (and realised how much I actually love the Star Wars series.. it's a whole thing) and now am about to descend into the sw canon. but I thought I'd ask where the best place to start is? comics, spin offs, books etc! (for context I've watched the prequels, og trilogy but only the first of the newer movies because ugh. and I've watched a bit of the clone wars & loved it.) Any advice you have for me would be greatly appreciated!!
Hi! If you liked what you saw of Clone Wars, I'd definitely start by watching it to the end and continuing with The Bad Batch, which I think is the most consistent in quality of the animated shows and builds on things TCW did in really smart and rewarding ways. Because TCW is so long and honestly has a lot of tedious fluff in it, I've made a watchlist leaving out the skippable episodes for anyone who doesn't want to commit to getting through it all, as you really don't have to.
And if you love Rogue One, you should definitely watch Andor. Not my fave but it's as good as everyone says. Just a staggeringly good cast all around.
When it comes to the books/comics/games, I'm honestly not the best person to ask lol. I dabble in reading EU stuff and a lot of it's great, but I feel pretty strongly that SW loses a lot of its magic when it's not on the screen and the fandom takes all the deep lore a bit too seriously. Back when Timothy Zahn's original Thrawn trilogy was published we weren't supposed to ever be getting more films, so naturally it was a big deal to people that canon was expanding in this way and luckily those books were excellent. But these days the EU seems relatively non-essential, even if many would say it's better overall than it used to be, and some of it's contradicted by the movies/shows anyway. Idk, part of the appeal and identity of the classic canon to me is that everything about the world is kind of different-yet-familiar, using recognizable archetypes and all, it's really pretty simple as a story and not hard to understand. I think fans who get hung up on the supposed importance of world-building details or expanded-universe lore can lose sight of that.
This is a long way of saying it can be intimidating how much Star Wars there is, but you shouldn't be intimidated by it. There's nothing that's essential to read to be into the fandom. A lot of "canon" is little more than glorified fanfic and we can all discard the parts we don't like. Even fans who are more into the EU than I am would probably say there aren't a lot of bad places to start, and it just depends on what kind of Star Wars you want more of. I know the ongoing High Republic series is really beloved and supposed to be very consistently well-written. Lately I've really enjoyed reading Jason Aaron's Star Wars comic (set between ANH and ESB) and Kieron Gillen's Darth Vader which can be read alongside it. If you'd be interested in reading any Legends stuff (stories that are no longer canon as of the Disney era), the Thrawn trilogy is a classic of course, and the New Jedi Order series is a sprawling storyline that even some fans who like the sequel trilogy say is a better OT sequel story than those movies. You can easily google the reading order for any of those to know how to read them. If anyone wants to chime in with other recs in the notes, please do!
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