#anyway this is so fun thank you!! i forgot to do it yesterday my bad

[bethrnoora]

10 songs, 10 people

Put your music on shuffle and list the first ten songs that come up, then tag ten people

tagged by @plutoprophecy thank u!!!

Feel My Heart Beat - House of Harm

Flowers - The Faim

Open Your Eyes (Deep Blue Songspell) - Bea Miller

Death of Me - Daughtry

1990something (DESERT STAR Remix) - Sub-Radio

Bent and Broken - Battle Beast

Sawdust in the Blood - Rob Zombie

Motor Spirit - King Gizzard and the Lizard Wizard

BLACK SOUL - Shinedown

Army of the Night - Amaranthe

ummm tagging @eskelent @bpdalfonse @lifeisverylongwhenyrlonely @bonsterfactory @yentoons and anyone else who wants to do this !

[sunny44]

Secret love

Pairing: Carlos Sainz x Leclerc!reader

Warnings: Charles is a jerk, Carlos surgery and other things.

Summary: Carlos and Y/n are dating and Charles is not aware about it, unless he knows.

Continuation “Stubborn”

We were lying in his bedroom on his house in Monaco, naked, and I had my head on his chest while he traced imaginary circles on my back.

"You know we can't hide forever, right?" He says, and I grunted in frustration.

"Don't ruin the moment," I say, burying my face in his neck and he laughs.

"I'm serious."

"Who says we can't?"

"I did."

"But you were also the one who said that hiding made the sex even hotter."

"And it does, but we can't keep your family in the dark about this."

"And why not?"

"Because I don't want to keep mine in the dark either," he says, and I sigh. "I know your brother probably won't approve or he'll freak out, but I don't want to have to restrain myself from kissing you just because we're in public."

"I know, but I'm sure he'll freak out and I'm not in the mood to deal with him."

"Okay," he says, getting up and putting on his underwear.

"Carlos," I sit up in bed, covering myself with the sheet.

"I'm going to take a shower," he says, heading to the bathroom but stopping before entering and looking at me. "I respect your decision, and I always will, but that doesn't mean I won't be hurt or disagree with what you want."

I sighed, lying back down as he entered the bathroom. I grabbed my phone and saw messages from Charles, but I ignored them.

Carlos and I always got along well, but initially, there was nothing special about our relationship. Until something changed, and I couldn't help but notice how attractive he is. So we started getting involved, and it's been 5 months now, and a week ago he asked me to be his girlfriend.

I understand that he wants to introduce me to his family, and I want to meet them, but the moment that happens, I know soon my family will also find out and I'm not ready to deal with Charles.

I got up and went to the bathroom, and he was still in the shower. I entered with him and hugged him from behind, feeling him hold my hands.

"I want whatever you want. If you want me to meet your parents, if you want me to stay with you in Madrid or anywhere else." he turned to face me. "I want anything as long as it's with you."

"I know your brother is difficult and super protective when it comes to you, and I'm pretty sure he won't like me dating you at all, but I'm tired of hiding around when all I want is to hold your hand in public, kiss you when I got a podium, or hug you when I have a bad race."

"And I want all of that with you too." he smiles and kisses me.

"We can go to Spain and have dinner with my parents and my sisters." He strokes my face. "Charles won't know, and then we can decide how to tell him."

"Sounds like we have a plan."

...

I got home and took off my shoes, putting them by the door, and took off my coat.

I heard footsteps coming towards me, and Charles came over.

"Where have you been? I called you several times, and Mom said you've been out since yesterday."

"I went out."

"And where did you sleep?"

"Why were you looking for me?"

"I wanted to know if you're up for skiing together this weekend?"

"No, thanks." I started walking to the kitchen, and he followed me.

"Why not? You love skiing."

"Because I don't feel like being a third wheel for you, Lorenzo, and Arthur."

"Oh, come on, you always hang out with us."

"Yeah, that's why I know it won't be fun."

"Okay then. But anyway, what did you do last night?"

"Why are you so curious, just leave me alone."

"I need to know if you went out with someone."

"I did go out with someone."

"And who is he? I want to know if he's good for you."

"He is, and you don't need to know anything."

"Just tell me it's not Pierre."

"Ew, no. He's like a brother to me, and isn't he dating someone?"

"Oh right, I forgot." I sat on my bed, and he was still following me. "But anyway, who is it?"

"Ugh, you're so annoying, leave me alone."

"I need to know if he's right for you."

"You don't need to know anything, and you don't need to approve anything."

"Of course I do."

"I never evaluated any of your girlfriends, so you won't do it to me."

"But I'm your older brother, and you give your opinion about my girlfriends either way."

"It's because you're a jerk."

"Hey, why am I a jerk?"

"Because you use the same stupid excuse about focusing on your career and Ferrari and then you show up dating your ex's friend."

"Alex wasn't even Charlotte's friend, you're only saying that because you don't like her."

"Good thing you know." I said, getting up. "And Arthur is another jerk, the only one who's decent is Enzo."

"Okay, seriously, let's not argue about my relationships again."

We had argued before, not speaking for about two weeks. I have nothing against Alex; she's kind, but Charlotte was like a sister to me, and the way Alex entered our lives shortly after he and Charlotte broke up, I hated it. Not to mention the fact that she pushed in the beginning to be my friend, which ended up making me not like her.

My brother's relationships are none of my business, but as a woman, I think it's ridiculous that he gives these same excuses about Ferrari only to show up with someone else shortly afterward.

"Well, I'll go back home and see you at the next race then."

"See you later, and have a good trip."

...

I was at the airport in Spain, and I told him he didn't need to pick me up since he's well known here, and picking up his teammate's sister at an airport where people know him is a bad idea.

So he came to pick me up, but he was in a car with tinted windows so dark that I couldn't see it was him, and I was also covered enough so no one could see me.

"Hi, love." I got into the car and kissed him.

It had been a few weeks since we last saw each other.

"Hi, love.”m he replied and kissed me again. "I missed you so much."

"I missed you too." I rubbed our noses together, and he laughed.

"I missed this too."

"That's good because there will be a lot of it in the next few days."

We're going to Mallorca, where his family spends their holidays, but since there's a race next week, we'll only spend the weekend before heading to Austria.

"My parents are excited to meet you."

"That's great, it makes me less nervous."

"Don't be nervous, they'll love you. And my sisters too."

The rest of the way was silent, but a comfortable silence. Carlos spent the whole way with his hand on my thigh, making me feel my heart race even more when he parked the car at their house.

"Are you okay?"

"Yeah, I'm just nervous."

"Everything will be fine," he looked at me, and I gave him a quick kiss. "I love you, you know that, right?"

"I love you too," I gave him another quick kiss and we got out of the car.

We grabbed our bags and went into the house, and I could hear several people talking at once, and I didn't understand anything, so they were probably speaking Spanish.

"Good morning, everyone," he says, and everyone stands up to greet us. "This is my girlfriend Y/n."

"You're beautiful," his mother smiled and hugged me. "Carlos spoke very highly of you."

"Thank you," I smiled.

“You remind of me of someone.” She says.

“I’ll guess that I remind you Carlos teammate.”

“Actually yes, you looks like Charles.”

“I’m his younger sister.” She looks surprised. “I’m basically his feminine version, we look a lot.”

“Wow, that’s surprising.” I smiled.

“A good surprising I hope.”

“Of course.”

“She showed me a photo of them when they were younger and they were basically twins.”

“What’s the age gap between you two?”

“Charles is 26, I’m 24 and Arthur my young brother is 23.”

“You all grew up very close.”

“Yes, and I also have a older brother, his name is Lorenzo. He’s 35.”

“You must missed having girls around.”

“Yeah, it was just me and my mom surrounded by boys.”

After chatting a lot, Carlos and I decided to go to our room.

"My brother knows I have someone." I said, sitting on the bed, and he turned to look at me.

"Does he know about us?"

"No, he just knows I have someone."

"Okay, do you want to tell him?"

"I don't know," I sighed. "At the same time that I want my family to know, I also don't want him to know."

"Well, let's enjoy our weekend and worry about that when it happens."

"Okay," he came towards the bed and climbed on top of me.

"Now I just want to enjoy the company of my girlfriend alone until I have to share you with the others."

"Hmm, I like the sound of that," he smiled and kissed me.

…

The weekend went by extremely fast and we were on a plane now heading to Austria. My brothers were there, and Carlos and I were going together.

When we arrived at the hotel, my brothers were coming out to the exit and saw us together.

"What are you two doing together?" Charles asked.

"We came on the same flight." Carlos replied.

"I thought you were in Spain and would come from there to here."

"I had to go to Monaco first."

"Ah, okay," I sighed in relief. "Come on, you're going to share the room with me."

"Did you come alone?"

"Yeah."

"Alright." He picked up my suitcase. "Bye, Carlos, thanks for the help."

"You're welcome," he smiled and followed Charles to the room we were in.

"There's only one bed, so..."

"No problem." I said, putting my bags in a corner.

"Were you and Carlos sitting together on the flight?"

"Not technically, but I convinced a guy to switch seats with me."

"Do you like him?" If I hadn't controlled myself, it would have been obvious how shocked I was when he asked.

"He's nice."

"That's good that you have a boyfriend; I wouldn't want you and him to have something."

"And why not?"

"We're on the same team, even though we're friends, we're always competing, and Carlos isn't the best boyfriend in the world."

"And why do you say that?"

"Because he ended a long-term relationship just to be with some model." I sighed.

"You're the last person who should be talking about being a good boyfriend."

"Why are you defending him?"

"It's not about defending; it's about saying that you can't judge someone by their relationship choices when you yourself don't know how to make them." He went silent. "And you know that's true."

"Whatever, let's all go out to dinner."

"I'm tired."

"That wasn't a question."

"Ugh, fine." I said, going into the bathroom to take a shower.

I got ready and we met up with my other brothers. When we arrived downstairs, I saw Carlos dressed up, and obviously, I had to disguise my reaction.

"I invited him; he was alone," Charles said to me.

"Oh, that's great."

"Why are you suddenly excited?" He asked after noticing my change in mood.

"Because I'm hungry and happy that you're going to pay."

"Who said I'm going to pay?"

"I did. You earn way more than I do."

"Haha."

I managed to sit next to Carlos without making it obvious that I wanted it to happen. We ordered dinner, and while we waited, I felt his warm hand on my leg.

"So, how are you guys feeling about this weekend?" Lorenzo asked the two Ferrari drivers.

"I think it all depends on how the car performs on the track, but I'm trying to be optimistic." he said, and I put my hand on top of his.

"Yeah, let's see if we can get on the podium." At that moment, our food arrived.

...

After dinner, we talked for a while longer until we went back to the hotel. Obviously, I wouldn't be able to sneak away to Carlos's room since I was sharing a room with Charles.

After I removed my makeup and put on comfortable clothes, I texted Carlos to meet me in the pool area.

"I'm going for a walk; are you going to sleep?" I asked Charles, who was already lying down.

"Where are you going?"

"Just walking around a bit, exploring the hotel. I won't be able to do this once we start going to the Paddock."

"Oh, okay, I'm going to sleep. Take the room key."

"I got it, call me if you need anything." He agreed, and I left the room and went to where we had arranged to meet.

"Hi.” He whispered, hugging me around the waist.

"Hi." He kissed me, and I smiled in the middle of the kiss.

"You have no idea how hard it was to see you in that dress and not kiss you."

"You also looked very handsome in that outfit." He smiled. "It's always nice to see you in clothes that aren't Ferrari, I think Charles is the only one worse than you."

"Oh, come on."

"Seriously, you guys have no sense of style."

"Okay then, I'll leave it up to you from now on what I'm going to wear."

"If it's up to me, you won't wear anything from now on." He laughed.

“Whatever you say.”

"I can't stay too long." I said to him, who grunted.

"Alright, we'll see each other tomorrow then." I agreed. "Are you going to wear my shirt?"

"Your dream." He smiled. "Do you have a spare one?"

"Seriously?" He asked surprised.

"Seriously."

"I do. Let's go get it." We went to his room, and he grabbed a shirt from his suitcase and handed it to me. "Thank you."

"Are you sure you want to wear it? I know I want everyone to know about us, but I don't want you to feel pressured into it."

"I know, but I realized just now that we've been meeting in secret like two teenagers in a forbidden relationship. We hold hands under the table at dinner and all because I'm afraid of my brother's reaction." He looked at me. "I don't want to hide my love for you; it's not something I'm afraid or ashamed of."

"Whatever you want, I'll be happy." He cupped my face and kissed me.

"I love you." His eyes sparkled. "I love you so much, and I want you to always know that."

"I love you too, my love." I rubbed our noses together, and he laughed.

"Well, we have to sleep now because tomorrow is going to be very busy."

We said goodbye and went to our rooms to sleep. I took off my clothes, brushed my teeth, put on my pajamas, and lay down.

"Are you okay?" He asked sleepily.

"I am, you can go back to sleep." He gave me a kiss on the forehead and fell asleep again.

...

The next day, I woke up alone and saw a message on my phone from Charles saying he had already left and others from Carlos.

Carlitos 🌶️

Carlitos 🌶️

Good morning, Hermosa

I’m already heading to the track, and I’ll see you later

Don’t feel pressured to wear the shirt; if you don’t feel comfortable, wear something else

Love you

Me

Good morning, my love

I'm still thinking about the shirt

But don't worry, if I wear it, it's because I want to

Love you more and see you soon

In the end, I decided not to wear the shirt today but on race day, and since today was just practice 1, I decided to do that.

When I arrived at the paddock, people were taking photos, but they seemed more focused on me than usual, and when I got to the garage, I could see the anger in my brother's eyes.

"Is this serious?" He asked me angrily . "Carlos, seriously? And you even had the nerve to lie to my face all this time."

"Charles, calm down," Lorenzo held his arm.

"What's going on?"

"What's going on is that you're sleeping with him," he said loudly, and some people looked.

"Hey, lower your voice," Lorenzo once again reprimanded him.

"Seriously, I don't understand your problem, judging me all this time for my relationships while you were doing this."

"I don't understand what's happening?"

"You're dating Carlos?"

"Yes," I said loudly what I had been afraid to say for a long time.

"Then he was the guy you were talking about that day?" Before I could answer, Carlos showed up.

"What's going on?"

"You son of a bitch." Charles tries to lunge at him, but some mechanicsll and my brothers hold him back. "You were here all this time pretending to be my friend, and behind my back, you were sleeping with my sister, seriously?"

"I'm not just sleeping with your sister, I like her. Actually, no, let me correct myself, I love her."

"Yeah, sure, your ex heard the same thing for 8 years until you dumped her."

"Can you stop?" He looked at me. "Just stop."

Everyone went silent, and I just shook my head and left there, I went straight back to the hotel and cried the rest of the day curled up in bed until I fell asleep.

I woke up to noises in the room, and it was Charles pacing back and forth, and I could see the anger in his eyes when he saw that I was awake.

"What are you doing?"

"Packing my things, I'm not going to stay in the same room as you."

"You don't need to, I'm going back home." I said getting up.

"You're not going to stay to watch your boyfriend's race?"

"Can you stop?"

"And why should I? You're a liar, you and him."

“I decided not to tell you, not him.”

"It doesn't matter to me who decided or not; he shouldn't even be with you in the first place." He looked at me. "You're only 24, and he's turning 30, you're at different points in your life, do you really think he's going to want to be with you for long?"

"Why wouldn't he?"

"Because we're always traveling, meeting new people. Do you really think that when he's alone, there won't be thousands of women chasing after him?" I held back my tears. "Do you really think that when he's drunk after a race and some model comes onto him, he'll resist? Do you really think he won't end up sleeping with her, and you'll be the pathetic girlfriend who was cheated on by a Formula 1 driver?"

"Tell your girlfriend what you just said to me, Formula 1 driver." I stepped closer to him. "Soon your girlfriend will have such big horns that she won't even fit through the door."

"You have no right to talk.” He says angrily.

"I'm a much better boyfriend than him, and I don't date my teammates' sisters."

“Stop making things about you Charles.”

“I’m not making things about me.”

"Yes you are. Do you know how hard it is to be related to you? How hard Enzo, Arthur, and I had to fight for some attention in this family?”

"That has nothing to do with the situation."

"Yes, it does. You always find a way to make things about you. Why can’t you just see that I’m happy with him? Is it so hard for you to let me be happy?" He doesn't say anything. "Things always were and always are going to be about you, how you wanted to do go-karting, how dad was always helping you and never had time for me, how your career affected Arthur’s career, how mom didn’t go to my college graduation because it was your F1 debut. Do you see how it is? You're always in the spotlight in the family. Enzo is the first child, so he is special, Arthur is the youngest, so he gets a lot of attention, and you are the superstar. And what am I? I'm the one who always is put to the side, and for the first time in years, I'm happy and you’re still making about you"

"Then why are you here fighting with me instead of just ignoring what I think is best for you and going after him?"

"Because you're my brother. I’ll always put our family above my happiness and even though you're an idiot, I still love you, and I still care about what you think of me." I wiped the tears from my face, and he fell silent. "And I shouldn’t care since I’m no one to you."

"Y/n…"

"No. You made it very clear that I'm just a slut for Carlos to sleep with until he finds someone better." I shouted in his face. "I never treated you disrespectfully, regardless of the stupid decisions you make daily, and at the first opportunity you had, you treated me like a nobody instead of your little sister."

I grabbed my suitcase and left. I wasn't really going to Monaco because there were no flights and I didn't want to be alone at this moment, so I went to the only place where I would really feel safe.

"Hey, don't cry." It was the first thing he said when he opened the door. "It's going to be okay."

"I'm sorry." My voice came out low and faltering.

"You didn't do anything wrong to apologize to me for." He hugged me tightly.

"I need to because my brother shouldn't have said those things to you." He grabbed my face and made me look at him.

"I don't care about anything he said to me, and I don't care at all about what he thinks of me. What I care about is that he hurt you over something that's none of his business."

"Can we not talk about him anymore, please?" And once again, I was crying.

"I'll prepare a bathtub for you, okay?" I agreed and sat on the edge of the bed while he went to the bathroom.

We stayed silent the whole time; he prepared the bathtub, tied my hair up in a bun, helped me with my clothes, and my body relaxed as soon as it touched the water.

"Do you mind keeping me company?" He smiled and took off his clothes, sitting behind me.

"You know I love you, right?"

"I know, and I love you too." He kissed my forehead, and we returned to silence.

I think we stayed for about 20 minutes until the water cooled and then we got out, got dressed, and went to bed to lie down.

"Everything will be okay if you're willing to continue, your brother will accept it over time." I agreed with him.

"I hope so because I don't know how it will be if he hates me forever."

"He doesn't hate you, he's just upset."

"How do you feel about this weekend?" I changed the subject.

"I think it’s okay."

"Is there any problem with the car?"

"It's not that, it's just that I've been feeling a bit strange." I got up quickly.

"What do you mean strange? You’re sick and here I am lamenting over my idiot brother." I put my hand on his forehead and saw that he was a little warm.

"I'm fine, I’m just a little warm.”

"Okay, but if you feel anything different, let me know." He agreed, and I lay down again for us to sleep.

...

Carlos woke up unwell today; his fever was high, and he didn't seem very well, but he was insisting on going to practice.

"You have to stay and rest."

"I'm fine; it's just a fever."

"It's not just a fever; this could get much worse later."

"Hermosa." He held my hands on his face. "I'm fine; everything will be okay."

"Just promise me you'll take care of yourself and not push beyond what your body can handle."

"I promise." He gave me a peck on the lips and smiled. "Are you sure you'll be okay here alone?"

"I'm more worried about you than me, okay."

"I promise to come back as soon as possible and not to overdo it."

"Okay, I love you."

"I love you too." With that, he left.

A few hours passed, and I saw that a strange number was calling me, and for some reason, I decided to answer.

"Hello?"

"Is this Y/n?"

"Yes."

"This is Roberto Merhi."

"Oh, hi, is everything okay?"

"I'm here to talk about Carlos; his fever got worse and he was taken to the hospital to do some tests, and in the end, he'll have to undergo emergency surgery to remove his appendix, and before he went, he told me you were his girlfriend and asked me to call you."

"My God, which hospital?" I asked, already putting on my sneakers.

"I'm parking in front of your hotel and we'll go together."

"I'm coming down."

The trip to the hospital was horrible; I only knew that he had to have surgery, but I didn't know if he was already having it, if he had already done it, or whatever was happening at the moment. The only thing I knew was that I needed to see him.

"Hi, you have a patient here named Carlos Sainz, and I'm his girlfriend."

"Your name, please?"

"Y/n Leclerc." She agreed.

"He entered surgery 10 minutes ago, but it's a simple procedure, so if there are no complications, he should be out in at most an hour."

"Thank you."

"You can wait in the waiting room."

The waiting time was agonizing ; Roberto and I stayed there waiting for news.

"How did you two meet?"

"Well, it was at the Paddock; we always got along well, and I often come to see Charles race, so we got closer, and here we are."

"I bet your brother doesn't know or doesn't like it." I laughed.

"He didn't know until yesterday, and he doesn't like it today." He laughed too. "It's complicated."

"I can imagine."

"Miss Sainz." I stood up as the doctor arrived.

"Yes?"

"He's doing well, the surgery was a success, and he was asking for you."

"Thank you." I went to the room, and he was lying there, smiling when he saw me.

"Hi, love.”

"Hi." I went to him, and he took my hand. "You promised you wouldn't strain yourself."

"Don't make me laugh." He said, already laughing.

"Sorry."

"It's okay."

"How do you feel?"

"Like I've been opened up and closed again."

"Stop joking."

"I'm fine, obviously, it still hurts, but the doctor said I'll be fine."

"I was so worried when Roberto called me."

"I didn't mean to worry you."

"I know you didn't, but I worry anyway."

"Come here." He shifted to the side, and I lay down with him.

"I love you." I felt him smile since his face was against my head.

"I love you more."

"Excuse me." We looked at the door and saw Charles there with a balloon. "Can I come in?"

"Come in." Carlos said, and I got up from the bed.

"How are you feeling?"

"I could be better, obviously, but I'm okay."

"I brought a balloon." He handed him a helium balloon.

"Congratulations on motherhood?" I asked.

"It was the only one available." Carlos laughed.

"Thanks."

"Can I talk to you?" Now he asked me.

"Depends, will we be civilized?"

"Yes."

"I'll be right back, okay?"

"Can you bring me some water later?"

"Of course." I smiled and left the room.

"I'm really sorry for everything, I was an idiot, and I shouldn't have meddled in your relationships, and I also shouldn't have talked to you like that." He said. "It's just that you're my little sister and I can't stand the fact of someone having access to your heart to the point of being able to break it."

"Charlie, I love you for wanting to protect me, and I know your intentions are good, but the way you handled the situation hurt me." I wiped a tear. "I know you don't like the idea of me dating your teammate, but I love him, and we're not just fooling around, it's serious, and I don't need you to like it, just to respect my decision."

"And I do respect it." I agreed. "I love you, you know that, right?"

"I know, and I love you too, Charlie." He hugged me tight. "I'll go bring the water."

"Okay."

"Are you staying longer, or are you leaving now?"

"I'm leaving now; I just came to see you guys. I still have to race tomorrow."

"Oh, right. I would go and watch, but..."

"It's okay; you have many races to watch. Don't worry about me, just take care of him."

"Bye, Charlie."

"Goodbye, Y/n." He leaves, and I go back to the room.

"Is everything okay?" He asks, drinking the water.

"Now it is." He smiles, and I turn on the TV and lie back down on the bed with him.

[lifeseries-ttrpg]

Hey guys!

Admin Excel here (I should stop saying that, I'm the only person from the moderation team who operates Tumblr, at least for now), coming with a bunch of fresh news for y'all.

Yesterday I was a very busy fella and instead of studying for my upcoming exams, I took about 6 hours refining and noting down ideas for mechanics in the upcoming project. Sounds grueling, but was actually a lot of fun ^^

Anyway, after receiving a bunch of new replies to out interest check in the last few days I decided it'd be best to start answering some of the ideas and questions you guys suggested. This post does not contain all of the messages that I think are important to refer to, and in the next few days, I will be answering more of them. If you have any new ideas you want to ask, either use the interest check if you haven't already, or use our ask box!

Here are a few ideas you guys suggested in the: Do you have any specific ideas that you'd like to see present in the project? question.

The Nether presented in a fun way. I love creative hell dimensions lol

This idea was one of the biggest reasons why I'm glad we included this question - cause, to be honest, in the process of thinking over all the mechanics and such, I completely forgot about Nether even existing xd I have some ideas that will be suggested to the future team, but it's a very good suggestion and thank you for that.

Mechanics: Different stats (combat skill/charisma/technical knowledge/etc.) for characters; a central system that rewards roleplaying Lore: It should be open ended enough that specific AUs (Eyes & Ears, etc.) aren't core components and can be chosen to be included or kept absent.

As for mechanics, there is already a stats system being developed - it's a very simplistic one compared to TTRPGs like D&D, but it should work just fine. And it actually includes all the stats mentioned here, and then some xd A few people mentioned that this system should be one based mostly on roleplaying, less on pure dice rolling, to reflect the nature of the series - and I absolutely, 100% agree with that. The idea is, the stats and dice rolls are but a suggestion to what happens to the character throughout the story. Any player will be able to at least somewhat "roleplay their way out" of a bad situation. The only system that is heavily dice roll heavy - at least in its current shape - is the PvP system, but it may very well be reworked by the future team.

As for lore, a few people mentioned that they didn't want it to be based solely on EaE, for a variety of reasons - and all of those reasons are very valid. This system will not be based purely on any one AU or interpretation - it will be a mix of different ideas suggested by our lore developers, which may, or may not include ideas inspired by EaE. Not to mention, the lore elements will be very sparse (in its current shape, the game only has 2 elements really that directly refer to it), and will most likely be one of the things included in the optional ruleset. So don't worry if you don't like Eyes and Ears AU or any other AU, we won't be copy pasting that straight into the game!

I know you guys said you wanted to do it based off of third life, but the Boogeyman mechanic is so so cool, it’d be rly neat if you could incorporate it at all in some way

There was a surprising amount of people who mentioned Boogeyman mechanic (like, about 5?) as a potential element of the game. I really like the idea of this being an optional rule - something the players can either include to make the game more fun, or decide to skip to make the mechanics more faithful to the actual series.

I think it would be a good idea to fin a way to balance things in such a way that if people choose to be on their own instead of an alliance that the person on their own isn't just completely dogged on. I'm not saying to nerf the alliances, but find a way to make it fair, you know?

In their current form in this system, alliances are a very important mechanic - they replace things like classes in most other systems, giving the players perks based on who they decide to join - for example, joining Dogwarts might make them more powerful in combat, while siding with the Sandlanders might increase their negotiations ability. Being weakened by not joining a side is a very valid concern. The solution developed at least for now is:

People who decide to stay on their own will be given a perk that reflects that,

Players will be allowed to make their own alliances and establish perks that come from joining them. Maybe they can even convince Lifers to join their own alliances, who knows!

Player NEED to be allowed multiple pets… give me a dog army, give me a bee army

Oh absolutely. There is an idea for a perk that gives you a dog army following you around, but the idea of having a lot of pets is a really fun one. I'm sure nobody in the future team will be against that.

That's it for now, there will be more posts like that coming in the near future. There are a few more ideas and questions that are def worth answering - and again, if anything new comes to your mind, feel free to send us a dm or an ask. Thank you guys again for such a great reception of the project!

[ainri]

hello! I'm the one who asked for one of illumi (yandere) could you make it headcanons?

illumi zoldyck as a yandere (hcs and drabble.)

•hunter x hunter

•yandere illumi headcanons + small drabble

•mostly fem oriented

•assasin/servant reader

•fic warinings: !dark content!, mentions of death multiple times including reader + reader’s family, insinuated character death at end, forced labor, undergarmnet theft, swear words, mild gaslighting, obsessive thoughts.

•🔞

•masterlist

•a/n: this is my first request so ty!!! tbh i rlly like writing yanderes like its just so fun? anyways someone should really do a crime count because i had to put some extra stuff in the fic warning so that people wouldn’t go crazy on me or call me insensitive 🥰sorry for the wait i completely forgot abt tumblr…..🙊if it doesnt make sense its because i rushed it bc i felt bad for how long i kept my anon waiting (sorry anon pookiebear) and its 1:27am 😞😞

continuation of this post!

<🌟🌟🌟>

-how did you end up this position again?

-oh yeah thats right! your parents were also assasins who just happened to have ‘issues’ with the zoldycks.

-they had personal issues with silva due to a deal gone wrong between the two assassin families.

-how did silva handle getting played by your parents? by sending out an order to kill them.

-but silva is a higher class man with much bigger issues. who’s better to do the job than his son illumi?

-of course the original order was to kill you, your father, and your mother.

-when illumi saw you walking back onto your family’s estate something in him just snapped.

-he just couldn’t help it; he had to have you, no matter the cost.

-that was the moment he realized he couldnt just let you die or kill you.

-you were…special?

-that was the first mission he had ever failed… he just couldnt bring himself to kill you.

-after silva finished beating the shit out of him; illumi had an idea.

-illumi spoke of this idea to silva; to make you a personal servant in return for you and your parents’ lives.

-of course silva agreed, once silva privately told you of this ‘agreement’ you had to agree.

-best to not test the zolycks’ willpower and to not test the waters.

-working as illumi’s personal servant was fine, that was before your panties started disappearing randomly from your laundry bin.

-“master illumi, i hate to bother you with this but have you seen my panties?”

-“no. what are you saying servant?”

-he quickly retorted back, almost, no, way too quickly.

-of course, this all started to add up when the male zoldyck house staff started to ignore you + avoid you like the plague.

-apologizing profusely to you over the smallest mistakes or accidents.

-this was all bizzare…. you needed answers, as quickly as possible.

•••

it was a calm day of cleaning when suddenly you walked in on it—illumi torturing your male coworker who helped you clean the atrium yesterday. “master illumi, what are you doing?” the servant asked horrified and confused,

“none of your business servant-“ he stopped himself to reword his sentence, “you know what? no! i was teaching him a lesson for speaking to you. besides you only belong to me!-right? right? say you belong to me! i killed all of those men—no, boys for you and you can’t even say, ‘thank you master illumi.’!?” he was yelling, now losing his temper.

“master illumi i didnt ask for you to kill for me! whats wrong with you? you-you-you psychopath! youre being completely delusional and irrational!—“

CLANG

all you saw was black as you felt your vision go blurry with illumi hitting you in the head with skme heavy blunted off object.

“i don’t appreciate that (name), i don’t appreciate it at all. you ungrateful woman. all i ever wanted to do was love you. clearly you cant even allow me to do that much. what a shame.”

END

••••••••

©2023 ainri; do not repost my work without credit or repost my work in a different language♡

[imraespace]

HELP hi guys😆😊 I have a funny story to share(it has a serious topic(?) just anemia so don't worry too much abt that) it will probably be long idk and also it's the reason I didn't updated the megumi smau yesterday so I say blame the discordians!

ALSO why did I blink and saw that I have 441 followers it probably went up but I'm too lazy to check.

okay anyways so my friend and I have this small server on discord it was originally my kpop server I made back in 2022 bc I wanted txt friends but then we kinda shut it down last year AND NOW ITS BACK UP! so we talk a lot in that server and SHE ASKED ME to pretend to be boys on the Greg bot yk the phone bot thing! so I was like oh okay! BC PPL ALREADY THINK IM A BOY ON MY REGULAR ACC so I used my second acc and created a whole other person(his name is ezra and he's a bleach fan.) right and it was harmless when we went on the Greg bot right made some mini bro friends right! I think someone actually wanted us bc they asked for our ig but um anyways.

EVERYTHING WENT GOOD UNTIL these two girls.

to understand my story better I have to over share on some stuff. my race is black and I'm anemic so since yk that my story will make some sense.

firstly when we said hi I said "yo" bc idk boys say that and my friend she had gave up on being a boy I just continued bc being a boy is fun.. AND WHEN MY FRIEND SAID HI she was like "HELLO" and boom drama started BC APPARENTLY THEY WERE LIKE "ik this call abt to be ass" and started talking abt how she said hello in all caps and my username (it was fw.ez HELPME) and I didn't notice them talking abt my friend first and only saw when they talked abt my username so I was like "dang dawg I'm.not even a boy" bc i thought yk harmless prank! but apparently I was using the word "dawg" wrong? WHAT😱 AND THEN PROCEEDED TO CALL ME WHITE. WHITE PPL CANT USE THE WORD DAWG? AND THERES A RIGHT WAY? so I was confused at first then I understood what they meant and told them im black I think they short circuit but still carried on with their arguments so I got mad and my chest began to race bc my anemia sometimes affects my emotions and I will get a tad bit emotional! so um I couldn't think straight I wanted to tell them some very bad words in dialect but they wouldn't even understand me so I was like I bet yall annoying as hell and it shut them up apparently AND YK MY FRIRND WASNT EVEN ON DISCORD I HAD TO DEFEND FOR MYSELF AND HER AND SHE CAME BACK AND WAS LIKE what's happening. GIRL. I told her what was happening and she called them dumb HAHAHA anyways then we came off the phone but THANKS TO THEM I HAD A RACING HEART AND A SEMI WEAK BODY with cold fingers and toes so I couldn't do anything I was going to write a new chapter for the megs smau bc I forgot to do it eariler in the day but I couldn't even think straight so I was up until 4am😒 with a racin heart and random emotional changes with my mommy gossiping abt some game we play(romance club it's like episode but better i recommend that you play the story called song of the crimson nile hehehheheja) and now IM HOME FROM SCHOOL BC OF THEM🤨😒😒

lesson of the day- ignore THOSE discordians!😉

oh and um a megumi update later when I'm feeling better🤫😉😉

[yesyourstalker]

Ikkan: Are you sure you don't want me to come back home?

Neta: please don't....I'm sorry. Please don't leave your vacation because of me. I'm really sorry I didn't mean to worry you

Ikkan: .mmk

Neta: I'm sorry

Ikkan:don't apologize babe it'll be ok

Neta: *yawn* I know I just...I just needed to vent

Ikkan:I just want you to get some rest. Call me in the morning ok?

Neta: alright. I love you.

Ikkan: I love you too.

Neta: I didn't mean to worry you.. I really don't want you to come back. I don't want your trip to be ruined because of me.

Ikkan: noooo no don't say that babe

Neta: I really feel like I am though. I shouldn't have called you. I just feel like I'm being........ too much because-

Ikkan:because you're not.

Neta:..........

Ikkan: we'll talk about it in the morning

Neta: it'll actually be after 12:00

Ikkan afternoon yeah we're in different time zones I forgot

Neta: it's ok....*sniff*

Ikkan: I love you

Neta: I love you too............*yawn*...

Ikkan...babe get some sleep.

Neta: hmm ...............................hm hey......

Gai:..... I'm sorry.... I just thought you should know I didn't expect you to get this upset

Neta: dad ......*sigh*..... thank you for telling me.....*sigh*....... I just need to process this..... I'll see you.... I will call you when I'm ready to talk.

Gai: alright..... have a good night

Neta: yeah. Have a good night............. fucking hell ........

_______________________________________________

Merv: ikkan help set the table

Ikkan: ok...

Merv: Noji help me bring out the food. We're having tuna steak and scallop octatoes and gravy.

Ikkan: you really went all out Dad

Merv: yeh well we have guests over they should have a nice meal for the first night.

Noji: only the first..hehehe

Merv: dinner is ready!!

Cirrina: I'm coming!

Warabie: smells good

Shimi: hmm.....*eating*....wow it's not that bad... it's

Merv: fresh?... yes we have a farm to table house hold. Almost everything on your plates comes from my farm or from the locals farm or ranch. It's all prepared by hand. We are a homestead family and community we give to our neighbors and they give back to us. The bread that we are serving now came from the bakery, we gave them wheat and they gave us bread in return. Eventually you'll learn the way of the community and learn how to harvest, grow and take care of the livestock.

Cirrina: do we get to see the manatees now?

Ikkan: not yet Cici eat your dinner

Cirrina: damn....

Ikkan:hehehe... Be patient

Cirrina: hehehe.....did you call dad?

Ikkan: yes.... he's... he's doing ok

Cirrina: alright...

Ikkan: he doesn't want you to worry.

Merv: alright everyone time to head in. Tomorrow we start working.... Ikkan, Noji help me with the dishes

Noji: on it. Good night Cirrina I see you tomorrow.

Cirrina: night! Hehe.

_______________________________________________

Mahi:......*sleeping*.........*sleeping*......hm.....*Yawn* morning....uhhh... What time is it?

Mizole: it's 7:45

Mahi: haaaaa...*Stretch*.... I'm going to get some free coffee, see if Toguni is up. You want something?

Mizole: nah.,...

Mahi: do you want anything?

Mizole: nah ......

Mahi: come on...get up

Mizole: mmmmmmm

Mahi: cooommmme oooonnnn... let's go..

Mizole: mmmmm....no....stop...you smell...

Mahi: so do you. it's 95 outside and we're sleeping beside a bunch of strangers....get up let's get some coffee and see the line for the community showers.... come on..... mizole get up...(Kick)

Mizole: UGH... FINE!.. I gotta go to the bathroom anyway. If I see ichiya I'm kicking his ass!! Embarrass me in front of everyone. He can't let shit go

Mahi: *sigh*.

Mizole: what?

Mahi:... nothing.....

Mizole:....babe

Mahi: *huff* it's just you spent most of the day yesterday fighting with your ex. If it wasn't fighting it was constant complaining. I thought this was going to be a fun thing we could do but If you had fun this year we could go every year but... Like a tradition we do every summer

Mizole: hey listen, I'm sorry. I didn't mean to be such an asshole and I'm having fun actually......... [kiss] we're going to have fun today. I'm not going to complain. I'm not going to bitch and I'm not going to fight with ichiya. I'm just going to ignore him... Today's going to be about us k ?

Mahi: .....alright...[kiss].... Let me get some coffee....... morning Toguni....you sleep well?

Toguni: *yawn*.... yeah...the bus has pretty good air conditioning.... what you want?

Mahi: I'll just take two iced coffees with milk and two pumps of vanilla....

Toguni: it's going to be a wait we ton of others to fill

Mahi: we can wait

Mizole: I can't. I'm heading to the porta potty... Maybe take a quick shower.....

Mahi: *siff*...ugh.....I'm gonna go change I'll be right back.

_______________________________________________

Merv: warabie. Son get up it's morning time put on your pants and boots and head downstairs for coffee and a corn muffin. Let's go!

Warabie: what?.......... it's only 5 30 in the morning

Merv: and it's a very beautiful morning. Now get up and wake up your father too

Warabie: *huuuuuuu*....The sun's not even up

Ikkan:....*eating*....*sip*....morning

Warabie: you're already up

Ikkan: yeah I came back up here just to get my work boots...*eating*... here you can borrow my old ones. They're a little big....*sip*... Head downstairs for the coffee gets cold

Warabie:.............*sigh*

Ikkan: morning sweetie, have some milk.

Cirrina:...hmmmm...morning........*sip*....hmmmm taste different.

Ikkan: That's because it didn't come from the grocery store...

Noji: yep, it came straight from Patty. No preservatives, no additives, non-homogenized and freshly pasteurized milk.

Ikkan: morning guys... Coffee still hot muffins freshly baked

Shimi:...hmmmm....*sip*........

Warabie: so what do you want us to do today?

Merv: well we have to harvest all of our crops to make room for a new crop.... but let's do our regular chores first. Ikkan load the manatees up and drive them to Mr Graves field to graze, take Cirrina with you.

Ikkan: alright

Merv: I need you to go to let the krill out for and collect their eggs and clean the coop, warabie you can help him

Noji: on it ! Let's go warabie!

Warabie:... Do we at least get gloves?

Merv: Shimi you're going to help me clean the barns and collect manure and replace the feed

Shimi: what!...uhh..let me just call my wife. I uh.... I'm.... worried about her...... I'll be right back..................pick up pick up pick up

Oshi: *sigh* righhhht there......[POP]..*moan*...

Masseuse: you have a lot of tension in your shoulders and upper back ma'am

Oshi: That's what happens when you raise eight kids...... Nine counting my husband....*sigh*....... that's nice ....hm? .......hm.. let it go to voicemail......

Shimi: oshi!

Oshi voice mail: sorry I can't answer the phone right now. Please leave a message at the deep

Shimi: damn it oshi!.............*huff*..........

Merv: here's your boots and gloves.... also I would change into something more..... work orientated... wouldn't want you to rip your pants.

_______________________________________________

Neta: *typing*........*typing*.....

Naomi:um....uhhh.... neta...... The store is closed um... Everything is organized and clean. We just need to put the money away....... We need your help to do it.....

Neta: right...... right I'll be there.......*sigh*......

Antho:.............

Neta:...*counting under breath*. ........*sigh*....

Antho: You're quiet today... usually you're loud and annoying

Neta: just a lot on my mind I guess.......... life is really hitting me hard right now ...*huuuu*

Naomi:........oh.... I'm sorry

Neta: I'll be fine tho.... I don't need you guys to be concerned.......... But I do appreciate it though. Thank Naomi and you too Annnnnthooooo you're sweet!heheheh

Antho: (swat)...stop ..

Naomi: hehehehe

Antho: I'm headed to the food court Naomi you want to get some cold wontons before we leave

Naomi: ok ...bye Neta

Neta: see ya kids............ I could go for some room temperature Pizza............

_______________________________________________

Mahi: alright... coffee time. Tonugi! Where's my coffee?

Tonugi: here's your two coffees and a salmon and eggs breakfast sandwich

Mahi: Sweet! I thought coffee was just free

Tonugi: No coffee is free. You have to pay for the food but you get it free. That guy actually paid for it I think he knows you

Spyke: (waving)

Mahi: * gasp*....you.... you can keep the sandwich I don't want it.....I-I have to go ..

Tonugi: but-

Mahi: I need to leave.....*huff*.... I... I'm going to the porta potties.......ugh..... DON'T tell him where I'm going. Lie or something

Tonugi: yeah... yeah...yeah... No problem

Mahi: thanks....*huff*...

Spyke: wait! Hold up! I just want to!....damn lost them... Did they tell you where they were going?

Tonugi: uhhhhhhh.... No I have no idea. I think they were going back to their... Van... they parked their van in the trailer park spots down over there past the food stalls and the showers they're going to be in slot OV All the way in the back

Spyke: All the way over there? Ehhhh I'll catch up with them later maybe.

Tonugi: alright....*sigh*.. .

Stefan: morning tonugi....*yawn*.....oh! Salmon and eggs.. I'll take that thank you very much...*eating*....hmmm just like mother used to make...

Mizole: The bathrooms were surprisingly clean....hey Mahi..*oof*... What happened to the coffee?

Mahi: I dropped them....

Mizole: oh .. well you can just go back and get -

Mahi: I don't feel like going back there right now. We can do it later

Mizole: hey... are you okay?

Mahi: I'm fine ....... let's just go to the stage I think Trip tank is going playing let's find a good spot.

Mizole: sure. Are you sure you're okay?

Mahi: yeah... I'm fine...

Mizole:[looking around].....…....…………………………………

Spyke:………………………………………………

Mizole: [grimacing]............Come on. Let's go. It's a day just for us. Remember?

_______________________________________________

Cirrina: how many manatees do you have?

Ikkan: we have eight of them. We're about to have 10... Luna and honeydew are going to have their calves soon

Cirrina:awwww they're going to be moms. That's sweet..

Ikkan: you want to feed one?

Cirrina: yes!! Yes..

Ikkan: * whistle whistle*...*kiss kiss* come here Luna!....*whistle*.......ok so just hold the squid plant and let her eat

Cirrina: *gasp* she eating it!!.....ugh.....ewwww!

Ikkan: aww she's giving you kisses..

Cirrina: give me another squidplant............ So what did dad say when you called him?

Ikkan:................ your father is doing just fine. He's just a little stressed out with work and wedding planning.

Cirrina: he sounded upset on the phone.... I couldn't hear what he was saying. Why did you offer to go home early? we just got here.

Ikkan:.........*sigh*...... I'll tell you tonight...... your father doesn't want you to be concerned. He wants you to enjoy this trip okay...

Cirrina: alright........... So how long are they going to be grazing

Ikkan: we usually let them stay here for 8 hours Mr Graves is going to keep an eye on them.. let's head back home and get the tractor ready

Mr Graves: hold up! I got a couple ice chests for you.... Manatee chops, prawn steaks.. krill Patties. we also got a great haul last week so we have some whale fillets freshly cut and some Lobsters dogs for you. As a thanks for the fresh produce

Ikkan: thanks Mr. Graves really appreciate it.

Mr. Graves: hhmm..

Ikkan: let's go home and see how warabie's holding up

Noji: we're almost done!

Warabie: how many eggs do these things lay? We've been doing this for hours

Noji: It's not even 7am yet... Look how many eggs you've collected? That's a lot. You're doing a good job considering this is your first time doing this

Warabie: there we're done! So can we go back to bed?

Noji: now we just need to replace all of the dirty hay and replace it with new hay which should take 45 minutes...

Warabie: UHHHHH

Noji: warabie.... This doesn't seem fun or worth it right now, but you'll soon realize that this work is actually really rewarding

Warabie:....pfft....yeah right

_______________________________________________

Neta: *eating*.....*sigh*..........

[knock knock]

Neta: *eating*...hey baja... What brings you here?

Baja: My apartment's empty

Neta: ha! So is mine

Baja: I saw you at the food court and I was going to say something but you really didn't seem like yourself

Neta: hmmm...*eating*... You want some pizza?

Baja: ok...sooo how's everything going?

Neta: It's fine. My dad came to visit today

Baja: That's nice to have family over

Neta: *eating*........ Yeah......... he's dying heheh

Baja: uh...oh.....neta. ....neta I'm.... I'm really sorry

Neta: yeah cold water disease..... He found it on his arm. He didn't go to the doctor it got worse and started to spread and now it's in his ink sack and they can't do anything sooooo..... Yeah...*sniff*... that's great.......

Baja: do you want to talk about it? I mean I lost my father I don't know if have any good advice but I'm welcome to hear-

Neta: I don't even understand why I'm so upset. It is not like he was there for me or he was a good father or a good person. It's like.....like I shouldn't be this upset. I guess I'm just more angry and frustrated than upset because you could afford treatment now. Why didn't you get treatment like this isn't like my mom. ... She died of the same thing. We couldn't afford to go to the doctor... but now you can!! Why didn't you!!

Baja: well..

Neta: *crying* It's like why the fuck are you even coming to me now? *Sniff*. You had plenty of time to form a relationship with me and try to rekindle something but you didn't. *Crying*...now that you're dying you're going to try to do it? Why!!? So? If it doesn't work out you can just escape responsibility!!?....*crying*... I fucking hate him!!!... I don't want him to die................. not Anymore.....*crying*.....

Baja:...................

Neta: *crying*.......... I'm sorry I shouldn't have dumped that on you.........

Baja: oh it's ok.... I overshare a lot too

Neta:...... Hehehee.....*sigh*....*eating*....ugh........ This pizza is gross

Baja: yeah....hehehe.......... You want me to stay over?

Neta: what?

Baja: My apartment is super quiet like scary quiet. Can I sleep over maybe give you some company

Neta: ............................yeah....*sniff*.......yeah....*sniff*.....fuck it I'm going to order a real pizza..... Get some blankets, pillows............here pick a movie, any movie............. Take my old pajama pants.

Baja: alright a day just for us!

Neta: hell yeah!......... hello.....hi baby!!..... Are you having fun on the farm?..... yeah...... I'm fine sweetie......... yeah....*sigh*.... So how's ikkan and warabie.....HE FELL?!!! Hahahahahaha!!!! I'm sorry, I'm sorry that's not funny, that's not funny. Tell him I said sorry hehehehehehehe hahahaha!...ok...ok....oh alright bye sweetie.. Tell ikkan I said hi.. and I'll call him tonight

Mahi has been secretly filming the shows and sending them to @fish-at-fish-fish-resort and antho

Tonugi, Stefan and Pacifica are the cleanest mother fuckers at that music festival Everyone else is sweaty and stinky @conkreetmonkey

[winderlylandchime]

I came on your blog to send you a few updates about my brother because the man is a gift that keeps on giving and then I saw that you tagged one of the posts about wanting an update about my brother. Gotta love it when the planets align that way haha. I apologize for how long this is but it has been an interesting week in my brothers life so I tried my best to keep it short and failed as you can see lol.

First of all I had to break the news to him about Randy retiring from acting to become a therapist. And it went just as how you’d imagine it to go if you imagine a grown man with a tendency to be childish and dramatic reacting to it. So many things happened so I gotta tell you the highlights: We were on facetime and I told him, he screamed (an actual AHHHH while holding a hand to his chest) and then went ‘of fucking course! The second I join the fucking party, he decides to fucking retire. And I’m supposed to NOT take it personal?!’. And while he was going on about it he was also doing something but i didn’t see what and all I saw was him grabbing scissors in a really stupid way (they were pointed towards him) so I went ‘ummmm’ and he goes ‘what? Oh come on, not even I am that fucking dramatic. I’m making myself a *said so that the last letter made a pop type of sound* crop top.’ And then he enthusiastically showed me the shirt that had A LOT of writing on it and he cut it so that only the first word is on it which is “HOLE”…. He is very proud of it btw, plans to wear it to his PT next week.. i swear he lives his life like a reality show mixed with a sitcom.

Anyway, he can’t believe Randy is actually going to be a therapist. Like at all. And then he goes ‘that’s so fucking weird though. Blondie a therapist. There’s no way people won’t recognize him..*long pause* do you think Gale also has a normal job now? Imagine he’s like a professor or some shit since he is nowhere to be found (me: how do you know that?)….i may have googled him..seriously is he even alive still?’ (ngl now i keep wondering if Gale also said fuck it and got a normal job) and then what followed was him gasping and then looking up at the ceiling and going ‘dear god.. i know i talk a lot of shit about you but if you could PLEASE make some gay dude go viral with a tweet or a dumb tiktok video about how Blondie is his therapist, that would be so fucking dope. Thanks bye’ and now I can’t stop thinking about the possibility of some gen z kid making a tiktok about it..

The good thing about this week is that he is finally covid free so i was talking to a non-feverish person which tbh not much difference, the bad thing is the dude somehow managed to get laryngitis so he’s losing his voice at a speed of light and while he was going on and on about Randy, he kept losing his voice more and more..which obviously made things for me, his little sister, a lot more fun. He was completely raspy yesterday and today he kinda still has a voice but not really. And no, none of this has prevented him from not talking about Randy retiring. It’s been over 24 hours.. Mom was annoyed with him because he will lose his voice talking about a middle aged white gay man, so he is balancing it by also talking about Gale aka a middle aged white straight man.

He also got really angry because he discovered that QAF online doesn’t have the right soundtrack (he already knew that but forgot). He was so upset about that that he was going on about it for at least 5 minutes while sounding like a dying goat. He then tried to bribe me to send him my dvds..So now his mission for 2024 is to somehow/somewhere find the dvds. Mom is hoping he doesn’t succeed because she knows full well what would happen aka he will force her to watch it. However our uncle is betraying her by helping him because the 69 year old gay dude likes drama. Mom thinks the fact that she lives 20 minutes away will stop my brother from making her watch it.. She clearly underestimates him.

And then probably my second favorite part because I got to witness it all through texts and voice memos and facetimes is that while he had covid, he had a lot of free time so one day he said fuck it and started going through everything qaf related online. So here’s a bit of a rundown of his 20 years late opinions: He is (still) angry at Hal, he’s angry at one of the writers (i forgot his name but it’s the writer who talked shit about Randy publicly), he has mixed feelings about Dan and Ron just because he’s not very fond of old men but he is also sure as fuck that they had issues with Randy, he found out that Michelle has a child with Bryan Singer and now he doesn’t like her because “i have morals.” He again remembered Gale was Pentecostal and that threw him in for a spiral at 3 am and what followed was a feverish rant about cults (which made no sense but that’s okay). He found old interviews where Randy was not so fond of qaf and that made him have some feelings but it ended up with him announcing a “war” against writers. And then he circled back to his anger at Hal because he decided that he was clearly jealous of Gale/Randy’s attention. He has range ngl. This is also where he decided Gale is a missing person because ‘seriously how the fuck can nobody post anything about him? Make him go to some charity event or some shit, I miss my man.’

Then on the day that I told him Randy is retiring which was like 2(?) days ago, he called me because he listened to the Poly episode of Randy’s podcast again (this lead to me later telling him since he didn’t see the new ep since this was the only one he had saved) anyway he called me to ask ME about if I* think he could be polyamorous (having siblings that youre close with is such a weird fucking thing). Then he decided I was not the right person to ask so he called our aunt who actually is polyamorous while he was on facetime with me and I got to witness the beauty that made me and my neighbor laugh way too hard (i wish you could hear/see him but just imagine a toddler covered in chocolate trying to make a point with an attitude how he totally didn’t eat the chocolate) because our aunt hit him with ‘i mean…stranger things have happened but also (his name), you broke up with your ex girlfriend because she wouldn’t share her purse with you’ He argued it with this and I quote ‘okay FIRST of all how DARE you bring that up, you know I’m still sensitive about that, 2nd the purse matched my outfit so it was rude she didn’t share. 3rd, I shared my two purses with her whenever she asked because sharing is caring, see that proves my point, 4th the purse was in a box for donations so once again: RUDE on her behalf and 5th and probably most important part: she cheated on me with her cousin’s girlfriend 2 days before so I think the least I deserved was to be allowed to borrow a fucking purse.’ Reader, I need you to understand that this happened like 10 years ago when he was like 25. Till this day he is more upset about the purse part than the cheating part. He was upset about that for a week until she texted him she thinks she’s gay and then he went ‘oh..i mean you couldve just fucking said so..btw did you throw that purse away?’ Our whole family still makes fun of that (in a nice way) bc he really didnt care about anything except the purse but also because he hit on a girl at bar once and she told him she’s gay and he pulled up instagram and showed her our accs and went ‘i got a sister or an ex, whose number would you prefer’ so he’s definitely still upset over the purse. Btw the jury is still out on him being able to share a whole human.

And also today which is why I’m sending you this now, I woke up to these next texts: ‘what if i change my therapist and I go to Randy? How fucked up would that be?’ ‘Imagine I end up in his office and just start talking to him about qaf’ ‘wait hold up, imagine if I didn’t know it’s him! And i show up in my Justin shirt and go on this long speech about this show and Brian and Blondie…at what point do you think he’d stop me?’ ‘Okay so I texted (his therapists name) and after he was done being mad at me for asking him dumb questions under the impression of emergency late at night, his only words were ‘in my humble professional opinion, (his name), it would be BEYOND fucked up’ but I think he’s exaggerating, what do you think?’ ‘So what kind of therapist do you think he’ll be? Like one on one ‘you got depression, heres pills’ type or couples or what?’ ‘Also do you think he’ll be a cool chill therapist or will he be one of those that look like they escaped their Mormon family and have a stick up their ass?’ ‘Do you think my man is also doing some random work now? Like mechanic or something?’ ‘My man as in my man Gale btw’ ‘no but fr imagine you go to therapy and the dude who you watched fuck on tv is your therapist… at what point do you tell him that you know what his booty looks like?’ ‘His choice in clients are limited.. either kids with no social media or like the fucking Amish’ So I would say he is handing the Randy retirement/therapist news about the same as all of us… or worse.. I actually can’t decide.

Dear sweet anon! I put out into the universe that I wanted updates from you and your brother and the universe delivered.

First of all, we are all devastated about Randy retiring from acting/public life. But also, as a therapist, I do support this journey for him. I do think it will be hard but he will have supervisors along the way to help him navigate the fact that there is footage out there of his butt on a Showtime show. Either that or he can only see clients who are toxic levels of heterosexual.

Speaking of your brother's idea to covertly become his patient, may I direct you to this anon I received? Here THE FANDOM KNOWS YOUR BROTHER AND PREDICTED HE WOULD WANT TO INFILTRATE RANDY'S THERAPY PRACTICE.

The soundtrack online is a travesty and is also homophobic. Would your uncle help me find the DVDs too? I have S2 but not the rest. (I don't even have a DVD or Blu Ray player but I also bought the entire David Tennant Doctor Who collection on Blu Ray (well minus 14 I guess) so at this point I'm just collecting stuff. (I do have a link to a google drive with all the episodes but you or your brother would have to reach out to me by DM here or on discord (thataj.) because I can't post it publicly (it's not actually mine lol).

I think it is very polyamorous to break up with someone for not sharing. Also, I am now curious about his collection of purses. Isn't sharing the name of the game in polyamory?

I think all of his opinions about everyone are so valid. We do get one (1) proof of life from Gale on social media per calendar year. Usually on someone else's account. I know there was a post of him in 2023 so we need to look out for 2024. I do NOT know what he is doing to earn a living these days. It is very likely he has a job that is not in entertainment or at least not on stage or on screen. Maybe entertainment adjacent?

Thank you so much for this update. I love that this continues to cause drama and discussion in your family. I love that your brother's therapist is fully involved. And I love that you continue to share your family with us.

[angeart]

ask game 12 &13!

yayy more questions! okay i'll start with 13 because it's simpler:

13.Any segment of your work that made you cry while writing it? (because it moved you deeply)

so. i cry easily. but i don't tend to cry while writing, i think? i don't have the greatest memory, so i can't be sure. i remember one time i cried while writing hmtb, but it wasn't because i was moved deeply jcnbjk (it was actually a mellow scene and i just. unexpectedly triggered an unpleasant memory, oops.)

in a way, i think it's easier to get emotional while working on RPs, actually. i might've cried at those in the past, mmh.

now, if you asked me when did i get anxious while writing. that's a whole another thing. i do deal with a lot of heavy emotions in writing, and, yeah. anyway, the answer is yesterday. (hmtb grian is doing perfectly well wdym-) (i had to stop writing after 8 sentences and take a break everything's fine-)

12.Funniest comment you've ever gotten in a piece of work?

this is a fun one! i don't think i have a favourite, i'm not the best with putting things on a scale and deciding that's the most this or that. add my bad memory into the mix, and about a year of writing a multichapter fic, and- well. but! i dug through and made a small collection of comments that amuse me! (there were many more, but i'm trying not to swarm you completely.)

i cannot tell you how much i appreciate and value the comments i get. i read every single one, and they matter a lot! they help me immensely and i am insanely grateful for them. <33

anyway, the collection of comments that make me giggle is under the line!

♥ please, consider this a love letter to all the commenters. ♥

Chocolate_Cake_Enthusiast on Chapter 3 of Elegy: ANGE UOU ARE THE SINGULAR SOURCE OF MY ANGST AND DEPRESSION (…) POOR GRIAN HE BETTER BE ALRIGHT OTHERWISE I WILL CHUCK A TENNIS BALL AT MY TOE

-

ghostpi on Chapter 7 of hmtb: TIS BUT A FLESH WOUND.

-

Eucalypta on Chapter 18 of hmtb: I forgot this had a ship tag so I was reading all previous chapters like: "what deep soulmates they are! Wait … Thats a bit gay. Well sometimes platonic love goes very dee- No thats definitely gay… What were the tags again?"

-

Tiand on Chapter 21 of hmtb: So- uh- Where can I send my therapy bill?

-

wimrow on Chapter 26 of hmtb: WOOOOO I DONT FEWL LIKE SOBBING WITJ THIS CHAPTER!!!!!! (this will absolutely change later on won’t it)

-

genderfluid_bitch on Chapter 29: *does a little jig* THE BABIES ARE HURTING AGAIN

-

Amabsis on Chapter 30 of hmtb: “Grian, are you okay?” NOBODY IS OKAY IMPULSESV!!!

-

Chat on Chapter 31 of hmtb: THATS A BRILLIANT WAY TO END A CHAPTER BUT OH MY FUCKERY ARE YOU CRUEL FOR IT.

-

peskytimes on Chapter 39 of hmtb: everytime i read this fic my mental state gets worse <33 /pos

-

Alcea_42 on Chapter 42 of hmtb: so sometimes 42 doesn't solve everything-

-

Holly_Loves_Reading on Chapter 46 of hmtb: Oh my god they’re so cute! Not even a little bit healthy, but so cute!

-

Pidgey05 on Chapter 47 of hmtb: Omg 200k words of pain and now finnally some fluff T^T it was so beautiful thank you author, for this gift 🤣

-

SongbirdQuela on Chapter 48 of hmtb: Everything’s going so well! Oh jee wiz I hope nothing goes incredibly wrong, boy would that be a rollercoaster, oh golly I can’t wait to see absolutely none of the characters doing anything self destructive!

-

Heartpaw on Chapter 48 of hmtb: “Did you two have a romp?” Says you. Your the one not wearing you own pants. Are you sure YOU didn’t have a romp

--

also have a kiss collection of you guys going insane <33

The_Pesky_Crow on Chapter 28 of hmtb: 12 Chapters from now, in a land far far away, the Grain kisses the Scar

-

Linkito on Chapter 41 of hmtb: I absolutely cannot believe that I binged this FORTY ONE chapter fic of A HUNDRED AND SIXTY THOUSAND WORDS and these idiots haven't kissed. Unbelievable. You're taking slow burn to a whole new level bless you and also I hate you LMAO

-

Bones_exe on Chapter 44 of hmtb: I'm going to be a crinkly old man by the time these two smooch huh?

-

Chocolate_Cake_Enthusiast on Chapter 44 of hmtb: JUST KISS ALREADY. PLEASE. FOR THE LOVE OF GOD. PLEASE JUST KISS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

-

Xanadu:Wynter on Chapter 45 of hmtb: PLEASE JUST ONE KISS

-

Bioluminescence on Chapter 45 of hmtb: I THOUGHT THEY WERE GOING TO KISS I WAS HOLDING MY BREATH AND THEN THEY DIDN'T this is honestly so predictable of you though smh

--

and some bonus screenshot stuff <3 (first two from elegy, the rest is hmtb)

(in the one below you can see a beautiful duality of comments /pos)

i hope that was fun. i had fun putting this together <3

love you guys!!

----- questions from >>this ask game<<

[good--merits-accumulated]

I'm gonna go slightly off track but I promise it has something to do with your question and I think it offers useful background (I also like ranting). When I was deliberating in my head when I was going to sleep yesterday what to say (yes very normal before bedtime activity) I was thinking that I'd tell you I don't really know how I got back into deadpoets from the fandom side, but I was racking my brains and I remembered, and I thought it was pretty funny. Apologies for dipping into my life but here we go. Basically I was in chemistry club and I came there and there was this boy and I immediately thought wow he's cute. This doesnt happen very often (twice a year maybe I don't find people attractive much) that's why I was like damn. And he reminded me of someone on telly and I was like hmmm, and then it hit me! That dude from Dead Poets Society!

Now at this point I had watched DPS like 3 years ago and I think it must have been before I had my sort of gay awakening and also before I was in fandoms bc when I googled Todd (that's what the guy looked like-well it turns out not as much as I thought bc I have a weird memory for faces but still quite a bit) I had the bright idea of looking on the fandom on tumblr where I was introduced to anderperry and I was like. yes. I continued looking at some posts like this and I was like yes this is so gay. Now I was so sure it was before I was gay (I'm bi but you get it) bc I think if I saw that now I would be like- that's gay. Then I didn't at all. Its a nice show of what perspective can do. Anyway I click on a clip (yk the one which is like I can take care of myself-no-what do you mean no-no*said in the flirtiest way possible*)and the record screeches stop. Just for a moment bc like wow they are american.

Now finally I get to answering your question. I think I mostly just forgot about the accents and the default accent in my head is british, but on top of that, the boarding school, but more importantly- the old boarding school, now that is a trope that isn't often american. On top of that you have the scenery, that type of nature which I don't associate with america at all. (I think the reasons behind why I thought they were British is probably just- I forgot, it was a long time ago and that's my default, and maybe a bit of the rest, but there is a reason why it feels very american). So I think hearing them there accents ofc that's a reason. But even though their opinions can very much be British, I think their attitudes and they way they voice there opinions is very not british.

And I also had a thought that maybe, the very reason they seem so american is because the things they do are so british(as well as the scenery) it feels jarring they are so american about it, and that's the very thing that makes it more so. That's just a thought tho. I think its certainly a bit about the whole freedom thing being very american and all that.

That's all the thoughts I have for now, if I'll think of something I'll share, I hope it's ok to write this through asks. And sorry for the LONG ask it's very interesting to talk about.

Thanks for the splendid ask, and feel free to write in with any more thoughts! (No such thing as a too-long ask, btw. Go right ahead.)

That is another thing I think DPS has done, in that it seems to be connected to lots of people's queer awakenings in some form or another? I had an experience a little similar to yours, where I obsessed over the film a lot when I was 12, came back when I was 15 and had figured out I was a guy, and was suddenly Very Cognisant Of Things I Had Not Been Before. (Also, that particular scene... yeah. Yeah.) Not sure exactly what it is - maybe just its status as a cult classic/ a family movie I think lots of families throw on, but yeah! Very neat. (Also, another sidenote - the average fandom age here /is/ very teen! Not necessarily a bad thing - also not surprising, given general fandom trends + this being a teen movie - but pretty fun! I came straight from DMBJ fandom, which felt much older, so it was a cool change.)

That is a VERY nice point about the way they voice their opinions. Big agree! [Insert "haha repression is a core British value" joke here], but yeah. Not to play into yet more stereotypes here, but the lack of self-deprecation in the dialogue really comes across a lot in making it feel American! And linked to that, the sense of dumb teenage confidence. I'm not sure if we get much of that in British media (or maybe I'm talking out of my arse...)

I like the idea of what you said, it being a British film with British "events", inhabited by American characters! Okay, that's going down a WHOLE new spiral about metatextual tragedy. (Maybe Neil dies because he tries to play by American rules in British conventions................ goes a little. Ah. You know, it's literally called New England!)

(And adding on to that - if Neil dies because he's playing by the "wrong" cultural norms that is SUCH a goddamn tragedy, but it also adds some weight to the ending... it's sadder, because everyone else is doing the same and in a system that doesn't appear to be changing no matter the changes THEY have undergone individually. immutability of the setting etc. etc. Sometimes The Setting Shapes You!)

Not a very coherent response, sorry (it is almost 11!). tl;dr: DPS is queer, nobody is self-deprecating enough to be English, and the placement of American characters in a British narrative is making me go a little crazyinsane. Also congrats on finding real life Todd Anderson (sort of)!

[rainbowintheclouds]

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA-

Alr I’ll be ranting about one little thing that happened yesterday with my friends, this is tickle related so if you don’t wanna see it you may ignore<3

Now, I am a very touch starved human because of my anti-social self but thanks to the universe I had friends that made friends with me. Also thank the universe that one of my friends that I personally consider my best friend, we’ll call her K, is physical affectionate just like me. There has been like one more tword event that happened with me and her so you tell me if you wanna hear that too-

anyways I was in my last class for the day and because the teacher had nothing planned, it was a free period. Like any other mf, we just talked and had fun because that’ll the only class all my friend group shares together. I’m much more quiet than my other friends so I usually just let them talk while I listen, usually standing/sitting right next to K. While they were talking, she was holding my hand and playing around with it because it’s something she does and cause of my warm body heat. After a bit, I just pull her in a hug, knowing she was okay with physical touch right now. (We have this system where I tap her hand and ask, “can I?” Which means, “is it okay to touch you right now?” And she’ll answer with a nod, yes, no, etc) She hugs be back, petting my head while still talking to the other as if nothing was happening.

And this is where the tword plays in- For any person in the tword community you most likely will know that one trope where the ler is tiggling the lee but acts casual like they aren’t just wrecking them. Yeah, that is exactly what happened-

Not even a minute later, she starts rubbing and grazing her nails on my back. Keep in mind my back is twordish- and she knows this because of the first tword event. I at first thought it was just a back massage and gladly accepted it. However, soon after she started specifically going for my spine, tracing up and down, and adding more pressure. I don’t have the biggest reactions when I get twordish but omfg it tickled- I would jolt away everytime she got to a bad spot but I couldn’t go any big distance because we were in a hug. Even with me squirming around slightly, she continued and still continued talking to our other friends as if nothing. She would go up to my shoulder blades, the back of the ribs, my sides, all while I tried to keep any noises from escaping which was easy for me because I don’t giggle much. I snort. So once the tiggles just started building up more and more, I couldn’t help it and let out small snorts here and there. I was so focused on the tword, I forgot my other friends could see all my movements. One friend, T, cut the conversation they were having together to mention wtf was happening for me. “Is Rainbow doing okay? Are they getting hurt?-“ T said, my other friend, Y, agreeing with her cause apparently they had been watching me having a spasm in K’s arms.

K giggled, still while continuing the tickles and said, “Yeah, I’m just tickling them.” T and Y “oh” from relief and chuckled at the misinterpretation. “Okay cause their face is red and everything.” T mentioned. I could see both just looking over at me. The worse part was K moving down the only covered I was using to hide my face which was her arm, exposing my pink face to them. I still tried to cover my face by following my face with her arm but it barely did anything, the wall had came down.

Then they all just went back to their conversation, leaving me to keep snorting at the hands of K. In no way did I mind it, tbh I was loving it and wasn’t exactly trying to get away, the whole time hugging my arms around K. And of course, what’s a tword situation without teases-

When the other were talking and K was listening to them, she would take the time so look down at me and said things like,

“Am I killing you? I think I’m killing you”

“You’re not even moving, do you want to be killed? You do, don’t youuu”

“You’re so ticklish, it’s so cute”

“It’s the tickle monsterrr! Tickle, tickleeee”

…

THIS IS A SWITCH/LEE’S DREAM OKAY-

Never thought I’d actually find a friend that would do this shit- let alone a friend who isn’t even part of the tword community, that I know of. Not to mention, all of this lasted for 15-20 minutes. I don’t know the exact time cause the whole time my face was in her chest or arm but I heard her say at one point that we had 15 minutes left or something. The only reason she had stopped was because it was time to go.

Now I would love to tell her that I actually do like the tickles, which I feel like she might already know- but saying it aloud to her feels like she might think I am weird soooo we’ll see. I am still happy and was happy when it was over cause tickles mixed with back massage is life’s beauty.

Thank you for listening to my Ted talk✨

[ask-vinyl-scratch]

Do you know any jokes?

10/19/2010

hmmmm it looks like some new ponies are showing up to my diary. I'm kinda... kinda scared of that, but I'm 99% sure you guys can't really read my diary, just put stuff into it. Weird-ass magic diary bruh. Might as well write to you guys and not write bad things about you behind your backs in my diary tho. Just in case.

I'm watching you

Well, uh, "primrose-petals"... HELL YEAH I KNOW SOME JOKES! I got coached in joke-telling by the party pony Pinkie Pie herself, and besides, Im fricken DJ PON-3! Gotta know how to make the ponies laugh if you want them to dance, you know what I'm sayin? I don't cuz that's just something Pinkie told me but she's the Element of Laughter (yeah I finally got the deets from her on that, tell you more about it later)

Okay, here's the jokes!!!!!!!!! This one came straight from the horse's mouth yesterday night and I really do love it a lot, Prim (can I call you Prim?)... She even wrote it down for me, but to really get the joke I gotta set the stage! Ok, so here I am walkin through ponyville carrying my subwoofers and turntables on my back and WOW is it heavy. I go into Sugercube Corner for a cupcake and Pinkie and the Rainbow Dash almost crash into me. So, anyway, Pinkie tells me the joke, it's "An elephant and hippopotamus were taking a bath. And the elephant said to the hippo, 'Please pass the soap.' The hippopotamus replied, 'No soap... radio!!!'" and she says it in such a funny way and of course Pinkie's guffawing her lungs out with Rainbow Dash chuckling and looking expectantly at me that I can't help but start grabbing my sides in mirth and rolling on the floor laughing! Too bad about my turntable and Sugarcube Corner's floors. But I just had to laugh, for Pinkie Pie's sake if not for the jokes! I got home and told Octy the joke but she didn't get it so. i know i did my good deed for yesterday.

Ok ok I know that was a somewhat pretty, uh, racist joke (I'm not racist. Neither should you.) But here are some more: "Singing in the shower is fun until you get soap in your mouth. Then it's a soap opera!"; "Dad: 'Son, I need some laundry soap right now, quick! Quick!' Son: 'Gee, dad, do you haveta rush me like?' Dad: 'Of course, Jesse. The situation here really is dat urgent!' "; "I went to jail for the first time and I ok maybe not that one

But those were all just Pinkie's jokes! Now some one of mine: "What did Buckingham Palace say to the Trottinghammers on Sky Fawkes Day no "What did Ted Bunty get for Christmas? nuh uh "How many foals does it take to paint a DEFINITELY NOT "An irishmare walks out of a bar" maybe? Mmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm no. "A family act walks into a Canterlot talent agency headed by Filthy Rich himself and I forgot the middle but the punchline is that the family call their act, "The Aristocrats!"

so maybe i dont know any appropriate jokes. all these ones Octavia told me earlier are a bit too risky (especially that foal one...) (Damn you, Octavia!)

Speaking of Pinkie, I saw her today in Sugarcube Corner again when I went in for another cupcake. She gasped and grinned real big when she saw me, like she usually does cuz she knows it makes me laugh, and thanked me for laughing at her no soap radio joke yesterday. (I think she knows I was just being polite...) Anyhoo, I asked her about how she knows Rainbow Dash and it led her to talking about their whole-ass journey! And this is a CRAAAAAAAAAAAZY journey Pinkie went on!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I mean, Luna be damned!!! (sorry sorry sorry too soon, too soon.)

Ok so here's the second half of what Pinkie told me: so Nightmare Moon came back on the Summer Sun Celebration and kidnapped Celestia to take her place as ruler so she could put Equestria under eternal night (I called all of that, by the way!! Whattaya think now, huh Octy???) and so six ponies went on a wild goose chase for the Elements of Harmony to stop her: Pinkie Pie, Rainbow Dash!, that Twi mare (that was a shock! she's more of a homebody to me), Applejack, and a couple mares called Fluttershy and Rarity. They eventually really got the elements and BECAME THE ELEMENTS! Wotta buckin' sweet free upgrade they all got in coolness! Especially Rainbow Dash! She's gotta be like... way cooler now!

I was gonna ask Pinkie more about what Rainbow Dash's like but I saw the time and hadda go to my. lessons. with Octavia. OH but Pinkie Pinkie Promised me she would take me to see all her other friends on her day off tomorrow and so I'll get to see Rainbow Dash!!!!!

Well um. it's time for my lessons. My lessons with Octavia. Tavi, Tavi, Tavi, Tavi Tavi Tavi Tavi Tavi! Hahaha yeah I'm so good at the things she's trying to teach me naturally. No more questions!

speaking of which, DONT YOU DARE READ MY DIARY PAGE FROM TWO DAYS AGO OR I WILL . CUT YOUR HIND-LEG STANDING FACES OUTTA MY DIARY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[pwblogarchive]

January 2005

January 2, 2005

the dog update. so alot of people seemed concerned about marley and that made me feel better. he puked every five minutes for a day or so and then went to the emergency vet. there they injected him with saline solution that made his back feel all bumpy when you petted him. now he's doing better. thank god i don't have to punch anyone cause i'm pretty little and don't like to get punched back. marley is doing pretty good now too. he's not bumpy anymore so he's back to his handsome self. all the chick dogs think he's super hot, trust me. my other dog pandora tries to hump him all the time. it's pretty gross you know. but you can't fault them for being in love. like that one disney movie lady and the tramp.

i got a new years wish about you.

- petey

January 6, 2005

chicago to los angeles survival guide: uncrustables, XOskeletons, capri suns, seinfeld seasons 1 and 2, the weakerthans, etc.

how about how the transformers was supposed to take place in 2005.

now it's here. where are all the fucking autobots.

love peter

- petey

January 7, 2005

“you are the tiny in my heart”

i haven't "blogged" anything in here in quite some time. i guess first off i must adress that i had loads of fun on our last five day stint with the midtowners, acadameisters and the gym class-o-sauruses. seeing all the people there at the shows caring about us and being totally rad and cool and awesome makes me smile from the left to right. no half smiles here. it was an awesome time for sure. anyways, im home now. it snowed tons the past few days here. i had to shovel at least a foot of snow off my car yesterday just so i could get groceries. i framed a star wars poster for my room the other day. im really happy with how it turned out. nothing else really going on. just been spending time with some friends and seeing my family. ive seen my dog a little. he's big. quite large in fact. im sorry this is a short and crappy entry but i have to go to the bathroom so bad. ill make a better one later. i promise.

January 9, 2005

“wake the dead”

i promised a more well written journal entry, and one shall be written, right now. first off, ive been home since decemeber 29th and i must say i'm lovin' it, much like the people who gorge themselves with the royal with cheese while shooting hoops. but in all seriousness, ive been hanging with my friends, seeing my family, watching my dog pee on the carpet, and it's all good. so i ate a lot today. sue me. that's right, i said sue me. just like you used to in 5th grade. and you know what? i'm still freakin hungry. i'm sitting here at my apartment, it's quarter after 5 am, theres a scary looking corpse-like women on tv telling me how to discover free money, and i have to be up in less than 6 hours for a fun filled trip with some of my friends to the field museum, or as it should be called, the natural history museum. i'm going to touch dino bones. i cleaned out my car a few days ago to find nothing of interest except i guess i spilled some coke everywhere and forgot to clean it up and my car was very syrupy. ew. funny thing happened today, i was leaving to go to my friend's place to play some card games and enjoy spicey chinese food that made my tounge cry, when this awesome homeless couple was hanging out by the garbage can in back of my place. they were really cool. they gave me one of their beers which i think i left in my friends fridge, and we talked about my car for a while because they were suprised someone had a black toyota rather than a white or red one. they assumed i had a black car because i wore dark clothes. they also thought i was a "computer whiz". i just nodded. they were really nice. i felt bad i didn't have money to give them. i also felt bad taking a beer, but i wouldve felt just as bad turning it down. it was kind of awkward. but none the less very pleasent folks. so im putting some cds on my computer to put on my ipod. im gonna continue on that path and then head to the resting place. nights.

currently enjoying:

music:

m83-dead cities, red seas and lost ghosts

the dears-no cities left

nick drake-pink moon

darkest hour-hidden hands of a saddist nation

(sorry, nothing new)

dvd:

the micheal gondry. chris cunningham, spike jonze dvd set

south park season 3

garden state

books:

none my friend

other:

-cooking steak

-putting up my empire strikes back poster after i framed it

-playing apple to apple

-having ipod parties with my one friend who would hit me in the goods if i said his/her name, so we'll just call this person 'sanders'

January 10, 2005

“its funny the way people only say stuff like "you could never be replaced" right before they replace you”

the sky is out again. i let myself get drawn into airing the dirty laundry in this funny place we call the internet again. and as much as i say "never again"- i am sure it will happen. once again proof that i am just as flawed, if not more, than anyone else. that being said. i feel happy right now- okay, like sunny and 75 degrees. thanks for that. we've got all kinds of plans that no one knows about. go listen to the new academy is song over at www.purevolume.com/theacademyis

what it looks like from the valley: Its been pouring rain here for four days straight- this isn’t a metaphor for a thing, It’s just how it goes. Even the sewers are sick of it- they’re spitting water back out. the city’s in a suspicious green light not quite haunted but definitely considering it. The boarded up windows aren’t for keeping anything out, they’re for keeping secrets like treasures inside. The basement window is cracked like a spiders web only without the queen in the middle. I pull it up and slip inside. Breathe in a hundred years of disappointment in the form of dust and water stained paper. These places are never quite like in dreams or movies but they are gold none the less. What the fuck could a kid like me ever know about LOnelyS ANGELES. I just want you to know the only reason I ever had double standards is because I cant stand the thought of just one of anything, it just feels so lonely. Pull the chain on a light that doesn’t work- pretty much that sums it up. Climb creaking stairs to rooms that used to be alive. The sunlight cuts in green-white between boards on the windows. We’re not getting out of this one. Its times like this that feel safe to be all alone. Because its my choice. I am the boarded up windows. I am the old man asleep on the porch across the street, dreaming in black and white. take a screwdriver out to fix all the bad habits that I had foolishly broken in anger- There is a chest in the corner. I crack it open and it breathes deep like it has come back to life. i read "There are two sides to digging up the past- pros: you remember things you had forgotten about, cons: you remember things you had forgotten about". Sit here on the floor barely breathing in all the dust hanging in the air like gray and brown stars. Think about the way none of these stories are finished ever because that’s how I am. I cant close the door on a thing. I just sit back in the cut and wait to be called out. never putting down the last period. Never signing off.

you feel like a new sweater on the first day of school- perfect but nervous-and tonight is just off of rocket sHIPS.

January 11, 2005

so we heard that the fob xmas cards from the tour are being sold on ebay. we think that is bullshit. they were always meant to be free for our fans and friends. we have some left so if you send a self addressed stamped envelope to korean tom cruise he will send you one. head over to his livejournal for that. www.livejournal.com/~asiandan

do not pay for them online! 

p.s. today i told patrick he needed to turn down the patitude.

- petey

January 12, 2005

ive got my stitches stitched, ive got my fixes fixed

so an actual update. so pretty much our dates consist of: i dream. i wake up at around 10 and watch lifetime movies for an hour. then i yell into patrick's room cause i am pretty much his mom out here. we then get into the car, not talking because we're both kind of grumpy in the morning. luckily the oldies station is badass out here and we become best buds again when we sing along to UB40's "i can't help falling in love..." and tony bennet's "it's not unusual" or whatever it's called. the car pretty much becomes this sweet vegas lounge. when we get to the studio, i go right to computer and pretend to work on lyrics but pretty much just play this game called runescape where i get to kill goblins and barbarian women. patrick goes and works on guitar. we eat deltaco which is like taco bell only better (if thats even possible). we then go and work on vocals whcih mostly just consists of me and patrick making fun of eachother and doing imitations of eachotherback and forth. we have some cool guests on the record, some suprises. one is flying in from chicago tommorrow, we are pretty excited. we finished a song today called "my name is david ruffin and these are the temptations"- you either get it or you don't. the record is gonna be called: from under the cork tree. again, it refers to something we think is pretty amazing. i need to get back to eating burritos and killing goblins.

peter

January 13, 2005

“bass boost”

my friend drew and i are sitting here on seperate computers. im typing a lot and drew is messing with his ipod. i got the newest mos def cd finally and i love it. i also got the todd barry cd which comes with a dvd. its extremely hilarious. on top of that, i rewarded myself with season one of x-files. not much else to report. all i have is jibberish. we both know it. im sure you feel the same way, but unfortunatly you are hungry for more words and i have the ability to feed them to you spoonful by spoonful. im worried im getting lazy. ive been sitting around and thinking about it, i recently finished doing my part of the record, and we did our 5 day tour, and that was all amazing. by the way, someone asked on our messageboard (yes i read it), what me and andy are doing in the studio. we finished tracking our stuff and are at home playing eachother in nhl 2005. anyway,now i have nothing to do, and thats cool for a while, but now im extra lazy. i mean, ive been sleeping until 5pm soley because i wouldnt know what to do if i woke up any earlier than that, so i stay up extra late so i sleep extra late. thats gonna fuck me over soon. i am excited to go out to la again, even if its for a few days. that should be nice. at least the weather will be a redeeming quality compared to the current downpour chicago is enduring. i dunno, im not bored, just worried im getting into a habit of laziness. i hope not. im gonna go to bed in 4 hours. bye!

January 14, 2005

i cant stop/stand myself

new photos and love

January 16, 2005

“in a world of sluts i keep the wet dream alive”

sorry the lj is over for now. i read everything you liked/disliked about yourselves so i feel like it went out really well. thank you for sharing that with me. though towards the end there was too much fighting and ridiculous stuff being said- including calling my friends sluts and all. i can'[t control anonymous posters except by deleting the entire thing- and you've heard it before you can say whatever you want about me but as soon as it involves my friends, i wont deal with it. it's just not what i want to read- instead i am going to read: the stranger by Camus- i'd recommend it to you. on our messageboard recommend one to me and then go outside and play in the sun or the snow depending on where you live.

cause you aint got nobody and i aint got nobody either- so lets be alone together.

January 17, 2005

“namedropper namefucker”

on my daily quest to find idiocy in human nature, i have come to a final conclusion: that many people out there are just vegetables and do not take the time to think or learn, but rather to repeat hackneyed concepts and thoughts that they have heard from a much wiser being. and usually these versions of what they have heard are botched and have been through the telephone game so many times that by the time they repeat them themselves, they come out usually as fart noises. i guess im just in a bad mood. but the only things in life i find to be genious are george lucas, jrr tolkien, morrissey and david cross. and if you think the new star wars movies suck, why don't you try and come up with different worlds, a complete history, and array of creatures and characters, and everything else it takes to make such an elaborate world that star wars is. im sick of people hating on phantom menace and attack of the clones. i cant wait until revenge of the sith comes out so everyone watches and just gets the shit knocked out of them. seriously, if the force and lightsabers arent good enough for you, then you seriously need to re-evaluate your life. anyways, i love you all and this is has nothing to do with you. it just has to do with the haters and the half-glass empty assholes who want to make the world a bummer.

January 19, 2005

“your lack of faith is disturbing”

if anyone is complaing about the "corny" level of star wars episode 1 and 2, watch episode 4,5 and 6 and try to tell me mark hamill wasn't pretty much the cheesiest dude on earth. plus, let me relay this harrison ford/carey fischer conversation at the end of empire strikes back that even though it's cool, harkens back to the essence of cheese: leia "i love you", han, "i know". i rest my case friends. cgi's aside. and no one is arguing that jar jar was awesome, but no one ever brings up the gay droid marriage between c3p0 and r2d2. im not trying to compare jar jar, but just think about it. take care!

January 20, 2005

“more…”

im quite bored and im going to continue with this. this is in response to our beloved message board. first off, someone mentioned that the original star wars weren't corny at the time of their release. just because something is corny doesn't mean it isn't good. original trilogy was delightfully corny by past and present standards. talk to my parents, they saw all three in the theaters and will tell you the same. second, qui-gon jinn was totally undeveloped and one of my least favorite jedi to grace the films. hayden as anakin rules cause he's super pissed off and he's totally gonna flip out in episode three. look at his huge flip out in episode two: when he went on a tusken raider massacre. that was excellent. anyways, i cant wait for lightsaber technology. sign me up for the testing. cut my arms off, i just want to see that thing in action. am i a big enough nerd to sit down and figure out the star wars theme? yes. well, most of it. i could probably play it with my vader mask but that thing is a bit to small for my head and makes my face sweaty. my big nose makes it hard to wear. oh, and thank you liz for the info on darth tater. im gonna have to pick that guy up as soon as it hits. its darling. i do lots of bad lightsaber and spaceship noises when im bored or when i space out (no pun intended). i have a list of star wars things that ive been compiling in my head for everyone who likes star wars, minus the obvious ones like watching the trilogy:

-check out imdb.com and search under the star wars movies and check out the trivia, really interesting stuff about people they were going to originally cast, original versions of charcaters and such

-if you're into video games, most of the star wars games out there are really lackluster but there are a few that i love. both knights of the old republic and knights of the old republic II: the sith lords are totally amazing. they are sort of prequels to everything that happens in the first three episodes of star wars and there are no familiar characters whatsoever. those are probably some of the most addicting games ive ever played. also, star wars battlefront is awesome. it has sort of a halo aspect to it and takes place both during the clone wars and during the rebel/empire wars and you can play on both sides. i also sort of liked the jedi academy games but the controls suck and action games get really boring.

-the clone wars comics are totally awesome and tell you whats going on between episode 2 and 3.

-theres also lots of star wars books, but a lot of them aren't great.

-the clone wars animated series vol 1 is being released on dvd in march. i liked it a lot. also, episode 3 comes out in may and the episode 3 game, which looks cool as hell, comes out in may as well, about 4 days before the movie.

im a nerd for real. most of my opinions are really biased. dont be like me. go outside and go sledding or learn to knit or start working out. bye!

January 24, 2005

“isn't it messed up, how i'm just dying to be him”

sometimes i look back at the things i write and just want to throw it away. its like when it gets kind of bad the words just fall off my tongue and fingertips. but when it's at it's worst- its just contrite and cliche. not that any of this matters. but when posts are disappearing it's just me realizing i am being overdramatic. we're looking in mirrors and laughing cause we're in on it (princes of the scene, makeout queens).

you're making it okay: uncrustables (strawberry only), tiny hoodies from the little boys section of thrift stores, new bright eyes, this movie windy city heat- i swear to god it is the funniest movie i have ever seen, elliot smith "from a basement...", chocolate cake milkshakes, full moons, 80 degree weather in january, catcher in the rye (almost as cliche as me, but its the best there is, its safe), stealing clothes from photoshoots instead of doing laundry (never should have let us try on the clothes hahaha), the san diego zoo, bob for buying me an electic scooter-FBR tour is gonna be radical, new panic at the disco song, patrick laughing at me trying to squeeze into hilarious jeans- i promise you it's gonna happen, champaign for my real friends- real pain for my sham friends.

i think you're gonna like the new record, it's like a day away from being finished- at least the recording part....

as for the internet drama. its over. we're all friends- and fob fans are way cooler than any other bands. you are the only thing that makes it worthwhile.

"it feels like the first day of my life, glad i didn't die before i met you".

peterabbit

January 25, 2005

“technology doesnt work”

so i just wrote a really really long entry on this thing using my sidekick. hell, i even referenced sanders. yea thats right sanders, whatcha gonna do about it? nothing cause your hands are too small to punch a hole through my gut. so anyway, my sidekick took a crap on it. so now i have to write a WHOLE new one. ugh. the things im compelled to do. first off, what the hell is with celebrity weddings and e! thining we give a fuck about them? seriously, i dont care what slutty dress barbara walters is wearing to trumps wedding and i dont care about trump and his lackluster combover. he spent 35 million on his wedding. what a moron. seriously dude, spend 100 bucks on a vegas wedding, put the rest on black, double your money, buy some of those sick wrap around oakleys and do a bachleor walk down the street telling everybody that you're hot and these babys aren't even close to street legal, and refer to your awesome thighs when you say that because you know youll be wearing bike shorts. So I want to own a bear that rides a motorcyle with a shark on his back. Seriously, that dude would be like "I'm sort of in your face, I don't mean to be, but I'm a little in timidating. Please, stop making fun of us because we do two on one cycle here. Its how we like to ride. Its comfortable that way." And then he'd be like spear spear spear spear victory ride! so im excited to get home, see the folks, see the friends, see the woodsman, study on some boron, just get all the things done i need to. allright, this is my entry substitute. the other one was better but i forget most of what i wrote.

January 27, 2005

holy fuck.

please be my date to this [link to corpse bride trailer]

Oh yeah and "the boy with thorn in his side" is now available in all hottopics. Thanks to you guys for bugging em to get it in... Now pick up a copy there!

Peterpan

January 29, 2005

we have finished recording our new record and have a couple of weeks of mixing before we head home to chicago. just to let you know this was one of the hardest and most important things i have done in my life. i spent hours and hours trying to think what words would mean the most, what we had to say.

i am listening to the rough versions of the songs.

i hope that when it's finally said and done it means as much to you as it does to me.

p

- petey

[justanacorn]

hello, how are you doing? :) I'm not sure if your requests are open, if it's not please sorry and ignore this

but if it is...

today is the Reader's birthday, but nobody really know, not because they didn't want to share, but because maybe they just forget about it? anyways, Reader are enjoying their day like any other day, and then Yelan show up and wish them a happy birthday (because Yelan knows everything of everyone) and the others Liyue Characters hear it because they were near by or talking with Reader when that happened. What would be the Characters reaction?

for the Characters, it can be anyone you like, really, but I confess that I'm curious about how would you write for Ningguang and Ganyu. It can have Characters from other nations too, if you wish.

Reader G/N, if that make the things easier

Platonic or Romantic, for me it's ok one of those.

Sorry for anything, if you feel that you wouldn't enjoying writing this please don't force yourself! it's ok if that happens

Hi anon! I'm doing better, feeling a bit sick, but not enough to ignore you all ^^ Went with romantic because that's easier for me to write. Thank you for your request, I had fun writing this!

.・゜゜・.・゜゜・.・゜゜・.・゜゜・.・゜゜・.・゜゜

•Forgetting Their S/o's Birthday

Characters: Ningguang and Ganyu

A/n: I used their birthday lines as a reference.

.・゜゜・.・゜゜・.・゜゜・.・゜゜・.・゜゜・.・゜゜

- Prologue -

It was your birthday today! You were quite excited to enjoy the day. You even planned a group picnic with your s/o and all the amazing friends you've made along the way. But, when you were sending out letters you forgot to mention what the occasion the picnic was for. You only realized this after they had already been sent out. You assumed it was okay because these were your friends, surely they already knew what the occasion was.

But, when the time for the picnic came, you were sitting next to your s/o while everybody chatted away. And yet, you heard not one "happy birthday"

It was a bit disappointing, of course, but you weren't going to let that ruin the picnic you'd worked so hard to plan! Even if they don't remember, you did, and that's all that mattered. Time to let yourself have an amazing day!

"Happy Birthday, [name]!" Yelan, finally arriving at the picnic sits on the other side of you. She then hands you a small gift, and gives you a smile. This surprised you, someone actually remembered.

It seems you weren't the only one surprised, but their was a certain someone who looked even more shocked than everyone else.

.・゜゜・.・゜゜・.・゜゜・.・゜゜・.・゜゜・.・゜゜

Ningguang:

"This is...Why didn't you remind me of today's important occasion? I'll have to speak with Baiwen later...Work has kept me occupied for the last week or so, it must've slipped my mind. I apologize..."

Her apology may have seemed quite unapologetic and insincere to others, but since you were her lover, you knew she meant it from the bottom of her heart.

She really did feel quite bad, and she's about to put her all into making it up to you.

Makes sure the rest of the picnic goes smoothly, and you have a great time.

The next day she takes you out around Liyue and will do whatever you want!

Want to hold her hand? Of course. That store looks interesting to you? Alright we'll go there next then.

By the end of the day, you're leaning on her shoulder with her head on yours, one of your hands tucked into hers.

"I'm... Sorry for yesterday, I shouldn't have forgotten such an important day. I promise your birthday isn't something that could just slip my mind. It's a day I hold dear. You were brought to me on that day...how could it be meaningless? I love you, happy birthday."

.・゜゜・.・゜゜・.・゜゜・.・゜゜・.・゜゜・.・゜゜

Ganyu:

"It was your birthday? I'm so sorry! I've been so busy recently that I hadn't thought much about the timing!"

She's very disappointed in herself, and tries to make up for it. After the picnic, you and her work together to bake a birthday cake (specifically a sweet quigxin one). It was her idea.

When the cake is done, she puts some candles on it and lights them on fire.

Instead of singing, she gently hugs you from behind and rests her chin on your head.

"I'm sorry, my Quigxin...I love you so much, and I can't believe I'd forget a day as special to me as one that celebrates you. I'm so lucky you were brought into this world, I couldn't be more thankful. Go on, blow out the candles. Make your wish. And...Happy Birthday!"

.・゜゜・.・゜゜・.・゜゜・.・゜゜・.・゜゜・.・゜゜

A/n: I couldn't really think of what other characters to add so I just left it the way it was. Sorry if Ganyu's is a bit short, this is my first time writing for her in quite a while. If I did anything wrong please send me an ask and I'll try my best to rewrite it.

.・゜゜・.・゜゜・.・゜゜・.・゜゜・.・゜゜・.・゜゜

-> Navigation | Masterlist | Requests: Open |

[mercur1e]

Helllooooo

Soo I just saw you're headcannons are literally 💞💞

It's lowkey the only thing keeping me safe and alive ✋😌......soooooo can I request Gom + kuroko and kagami (if it's to much you can just doo Aomine, Kise and Midorima and akashi)where they accidentally hurt their s/o feelings pleaaseeeeee..... I need some angst but please end it in fluff (cuz i lowkey cannot handle it)

Please take care of yourself, your health always comes first, I love youuuu ❤❤❤

Ofc love! I hope you're doing well and I love you too :) <333

Akashi

He disregarded your hard work :(

You're trying to start your own small business and you're having a little trouble, which is not unusual that happens sometimes!

You were having trouble hiring employees and you were talking to him about it, and he was in a bad mood prior to you approaching him

"You're not going anywhere with this. It would just be better to give up on it. You're not going to make it that far even if you do succeed. And can you leave? I'm busy and all you're doing is acting as a distraction."

You just froze, you couldn't believe what he had just said

Not only did he know how much work you were putting in, he also knew how excited you were for the future of your shop too

You didn't even say anything, you just froze with shock, hurt, and surprise and stomped out of his office

You left the house, you needed some time to cool off and cry

It took Akashi a second to realize what he had said and how hurtful his words were, so he started looking all over for you in the house. He goes into the garage to see your car is gone and he assumes the worst.

You don't pick up the phone when he calls you or answer his texts, opting to turn it off after the fifth call.

You stay by your best friend for the night and they comforted you and told you he probably didn't mean it, and that you can stay as long as you need

After you leave from by your friends place you go to your favorite cafe for some breakfast

And guess who's there, Akashi.

You turn around and walk out because you were honestly not ready to deal with him just yet and it was too early in the morning for all that

He catches you on the way out and apologizes :)

"Love, I apologize for what I said yesterday. It was inconsiderate, hurtful, and wrong. You've been working so hard on your business and you're doing your best to make it happen. I was in a bad mood yesterday and I dont know what came over me. Will you forgive me?"

Looking you in the eye as he spoke every word, holding your hands and rubbing them, you know he was truly sorry and wants to fix what he did.

"I forgive you Sei, but what you said was really hurtful. You know how much this means to me and how much work I've been putting in. But I do forgive you."

He takes you out to eat at your favorite restaurant and watch a movie afterwards back at home, kisses you tons and holds you in his arms when you fall asleep.

He also puts in a good word with his work associates about your business and you gain more employees and popularity! But unless you want to do it completely on your own he's there supporting you every step of the way and giving you advice :)

Midorima

He acts like your affection is kryptonite, even though you're not a clingy or overly-affectionate person

You guys had been together for about 3-4 months

He always brushes you off even at the most simplest acts of affections, you're starting to really question if he even wants to be together.

Well this particular time he embarrassed you in front of the team :/

There was a break in between practice and you went to give him his water bottle and give him a hug

"Hey Shin he's your water bottle, don't work yourself too hard okay?"

After that you went in for a quick hug but he held a hand against your chest and glared at you

"Why are you always so clingy? You're always on me and its annoying. Can you just leave me alone or leave?"

He said that right in the middle of the court, everyone's eyes were on you and you felt embarrassed.

"...alright."

That's all you after said you shoved the water bottle into his hand and walked out of the gym.

Takao was the one to call him out on his behavior and tell him that he was being rude and that he should apologize

Midorima took that advice and after practice, he went to find you and apologize, except you weren't anywhere he checked or thought you would be

You avoided him for 3 days straight until he arrived at your house unannounced

Your lucky item in his hand, he gives you a well deserved apology

"Y/N I- I'm sorry that I was being rude to you. There was no reason for me to act like that and I haven't been appreciating you like I should. That was rude of me and I hope you except my apology. Also- this is your uh lucky item."

He hands you a plushie :)

He gives you hugs and reassures you that he appreciates your affections despite him not being used to it!

He also got an extra lap at practice from Miyaji lol but he decided not to tell you that part

Kise

Is very busy and it's sometimes hard to make time for you :(

And you also couldn't show him affection in public or be around him because his fangirls would throw a hissy fit

He hasn't been answering his phone and he can't really get that close to you at school so you've been feeling left behind

When you finally managed to catch him, you said you wanted to go out and just catch up because you two haven't spent much time together and he agreed

However Kise forgot about the plans and you were waiting at the restaurant, alone.

You went home that night upset, tired, and wondering if you even want to be in a relationship anymore

You stopped texting him and talking to talk to him at school, not that you even had that much time to talk to him and school anyway

Kise had realised a whole day later that he had forgotten about the plans you two had made together

He took off from work the whole week, even though his manager was mad about it and went off to find you

He found you at a park after school and approached you with flowers in his hand

"Y/N baby I'm so sorry I forgot about our date. I can't imagine how you must've felt and to make up for it I called the whole week off! I'm really, really sorry that I havent had time for you. Do you forgive me?"

"Yeah, I forgive you Kise I'm just really hurt that you stood me up. You knew we hadn't spent alot of time together and I was really hoping to catch up with you that night. But I'm just happy you're here."

He takes you to a concert! Your favorite artist was in town and he bought tickets for the two of you!

The whole week was filled with fun, love, and lots of conversations :)

He promises to make more time for you and be there for you whenever he can!

He also posts you on his socials and shows you affection at school, showing his fangirls that he's not for them, but for you and they can go away of they don't like that

Aomine

You feel like he doesn't put any effort into the relationship

It's always you doing everything, it just gets tiring

He doesn't really make an effort to do anything, like plan dates, hang out, or just spend time together

He also uses basketball as an excuse to not hang out with you when you already know he's not at practice

Like if you want alone time man just say that

So you had planned a date for you two, nothing big just going to the movie theaters yk

He cancelled last minute, saying Imayoshi was forcing him to come to practice

It was a sunday, they don't have practice in sunday

You talked to Momoi as she is a close friend of yours too, about how you feel like you're the only one making an effort and that you feel like he doesn't want to spend time with you

She tells you to confront him about it, so you do

The next time Daiki comes to your house you ask him about it

"It just feels like I'm the only one putting work into the relationship and I feel like you're avoiding me. You make up excuses to not be with me and bail on me last minute...do you even want to be with me? And if you do want alone time just be upfront about it, don't give me terrible excuses or flake out on me."

Aomine honestly didn't know you felt that way

Now that he looks back at it, it has been mainly you doing most of the stuff in the relationship, and he can see why you feel like it's only you trying

"You're right, it has been mainly you doing stuff for both of us. I'm gonna start putting in more effort because it's time I do. I'm sorry that I've been making shitty excuses to not hang out with you, and cancelling all of a sudden. I'll be honest when I don't feel like going out and I'll spend more time with you."

He makes it up to you by taking you to a festival and going to see a movie with you

True to his word, he starts putting more effort into y'alls relationship and you two take turns planning dates

And if he doesn't feel like going out you guys have at home dates instead :)

I know this took a little longer than usual, I'm sorry for the little setback. Hopefully you like them! Thank you for requesting and feedback is appreciated! Love you <333

[allystyles1]

Hey! Just wondering if you are taking requests. It’s my Birthday and I’m sick :( I was wondering if you would be willing to write a Loki fic or head cannon list of him trying to make your birthday special even if you’re stuck in bed.

Thanks again - @marvelous-me 💜

Happy birthday!!! And i hope you get well soon💞 hope this makes you feel a little bit better, have a great day💕💕

mini note: i had so much fun writing this but it's written on my phone (i wanted to do it as quickly as possible) so if there are any mistakes please let me know! Happy reading!

bed birthday-Loki Laufeyson x gender neutral reader

You could feel Loki's cold fingers carressing your cheek and hear him whisper sweet things but you felt awful and you didn't want to fully wake up yet.

"Darling come on, i know you're awake." You turned on your back with a grunt making him smile.

"There you are." He smiled and kissed your forehead. "Good morning."

"Morning." His expression instantly changed into a worried one when you said it with a tired voice.

"Are you okay? Did you not sleep well?"

"No i slept just fine, but i'm sick. My stomach and legs hurt too, i don't want to get up."

"Who says you have to get up?"

"Loki do you know what today is?" He couldn't have forgot, could he?

"Of course love, it hurts my feelings you thought i could possibly forget my lover's birthday." He kissed your forehead again and then your lips.

"Well if you don't want to get up, then you'll have a bed birthday."

"Noooo, i don't want to have a bad birthday!" You pouted but he shook his head smiling.

"Darling i said bed birthday, like birthday but in your bed. Of course you won't have a bad birthday. Just give me a few minutes and i'll be right back, is that okay?" You nodded. "Okay, great. You lay down, i'll be back quickly." He smiled and left the room, leaving you alone. You decided to at least change your clothes but your legs definitely didn't want that, so you kept laying down and closed your eyes.

"I'm back!" You opened your eyes. He had a huge cake in his hand, 10 or more colorful balloons tied to his wrist and a big gift box.

"Where and when did you get all of that?" you chuckled. He put the cake and the box on the small table.

"I already had them ready yesterday but they were in the kitchen." he answered while tying the balloons to the sides of your headboard.

"Thank you Loki, this is really nice."

"Anything for you." he leaned down and pecked your lips before tying the last balloon.

"Oh no."

"What happened?"

"I forgot to bring you breakfast!" You smiled and he frowned. "Do not tell me that it's okay, it isn't. You just woke up and we can't celebrate your birthday while you're hungry!" He ran off the room making you chuckle. You had the best boyfriend anyone could ever ask for. He entered the room again with a full plate in hand, grinning like a five year old.

"If Natasha asks you where her breakfast is, you don't know." You gasped and laughed with him.

"Out of everyone in the building, you chose the deadly assassin?"

"Her plate looked the best so.." He sat next to you and gave you the fork to eat. You fed him a few bites of your pancake -his favorite- every now and then, making him smile.

"Okay now the cake!" he brought the cake and a frown appeared on his face.

"What is it?"

"I didn't bring any other plates."

"Loki it's fine, it's just the two of us anyway." You smiled and took a small piece with your fork before pushing it into his mouth.

"I really chose the best one." he smiled proudly.

"You have cake on your cheek." you giggled.

"Where?" You leaned down and kissed the corner of his mouth.

"It's gone now."

"You just wanted to kiss me didn't you?"

"I could kiss you anytime i wanted, we're dating." He nodded and dipped his finger in the icing.

"What are you- Loki!" He put the icing on your nose and chuckled.

"You look so cute!" You tried to wipe it off but he held your hand and leaned down, kissing your nose, then your lips.

"Happy birthday my love."

[a-small-batch-of-dragons]

Golden Thread

Prompt: since Janus is Deceit, what if it takes a physical toll on him when he only tells the truth and doesn't manipulate anyone for a period of time? could you please write a oneshot where Janus is in a position where he really needs to to tell the truth, but he can tell he's getting close to his truth limit? - anon

 Hey! I don't know if you're still taking requests for prompts (and I apologize if you aren't), but could you do Janus-centric fluffy hurt/comfort? And maybe a polyship? (If you want to, of course). - anon

Thanks for the prompts, babes! This was supposed to go up yesterday and I’m so sorry I forgot

Read on Ao3

Warnings: sympathetic remus & janus, other than that, it’s not that bad

Pairings: LAMP, DLAMP, DLAMPR, can be platonic or romantic you decide

Word Count: 5874

There is a thread that winds through Janus’s tongue.

 Thin, golden, finely spun with lies. It tastes sweet against the back of his teeth, the back of his throat. As he talks, it colors his words with a soft gleam, spinning and spinning into the air in front of him. It coils neatly around his throat as its spool and winks.

Most of the time its taste is enough to curl the corners of his mouth upwards into a smirk, watching it wind and weave its way around the others. Sometimes he thinks he can see other threads, clasping delicately around wrists, arms, knees, necks. Sometimes he can’t resist letting his threat tug them this way and that. Come on, what good is temptation if you never give in to it? He’s grown fond of the sweetness it leaves on his tongue, in his words. Saccharine as they may be, the haze they leave behind is more than enough to make up for it.

 Sometimes the sweetness is too much. He swears he can feel cavities forming in the back of his mouth. His teeth start to ache. And sometimes…sometimes he doesn’t care. It’s too much fun to keep tugging this way and that at the others, too entertaining to let the thread unspool and unspool from his throat, filling the air with its golden light. His smile sharpens and the tangle grows, because what’s the fun of it without a little risk of hurt?

 Other times he knows to back off. He adores the others, but no matter how fun they are to play with, he knows not to push too hard. At those times, he lets the sweetness spill off of his tongue, gently winds the thread back around his own throat. It always protests, the lack of sweetness making his tongue ache, the grip on his throat just a little too tight. But the looks on their faces…the begrudging gratitude, the sincere remark, or--god forbid—the poorly disguised hope…well.

 Sometimes he wonders whether or not it’d be worth it to keep the thread fully wound.

 Not that he ever would, it’s just a thought experiment.

 It’s not like he wonders what it would feel like to have Patton be able to listen to him easily, not make it a fight to get his point across. He doesn’t want to have an engaging conversation with Logan about philosophy, ethics, science, anything just to hear the brilliant man talk. He refuses to entertain the idea of being a proper source of comfort for Virgil. He wouldn’t enjoy snarking with Remus just for fun and not because he doesn’t know how to do anything else.

 And he…

 Well.

 The idea of being able to have an honest conversation with Roman makes him fill to the brim, top to toes, with hatred.

 He doesn’t have much of a choice.

 He can speak a few times with the thread coiled up, just enough when it really counts. He knows the others, he can’t just play with them all the time, he’ll get bored. And they’re not really cut out for it. And as much as he loves to see them squirm out of their comfort zones, it’s not good for Thomas. That’s his real priority.

 Janus pushes open the door to his room and sighs, taking his hat off and hanging it carefully up on its stand. He summons his cane and makes it the rest of the way to the desk, plopping himself into the chair and scrubbing his hand through his hair.

 “They’re so slow,” he mutters as his fingers go to the clasp around his throat, “how do they ever get anything done?”

 Well…they don’t. Not really.

 Don’t get him wrong, he loves being the one to tug and twist them into the right answer, but he doesn’t want to be there all the time. They do know what they’re doing, they’re all good at their jobs, so…trying to manage all of that is exhausting.

 The clasp at his throat falls away and he lifts his hand, craning his neck above his collar. There.

 He knows the thread isn’t real; nothing here is real. Nothing of him can ever be real. But he can still feel it sometimes. Like today.

 They’d been…talking. It wasn’t an overdue conversation, not in the slightest, and he’s had to be honest with them. Doesn’t mean he has to be honest with himself.

 And isn’t that just his saving grace?

 Janus winces as he feels the thread wind tighter and tighter around his tongue, pulling his gloves off to touch his throat, just to confirm that it’s not real. His fingers meet his scales and he sighs, missing the sweetness. It won’t be for long. This will blow over and tomorrow they’ll be back to everyone’s favorite regularly scheduled programming. He’ll make Patton blink in that adorably-confused way, Logan will be pinching the bridge of his nose trying to make everyone shut up and pay attention to Janus’s lies, Virgil will be hissing at him like a demented cat, Remus will be having the time of his life, and Roman won’t want anything to do with him.

 Janus breathes a sigh of relief as sweetness starts to coat his tongue again.

See? It’s already working.

 It doesn’t keep working, but you know.

 The effort was there.

 They’re talking again.

 The living room feels dry. Has it always been this dry? Disguising it as a roll of his eyes, Janus tilts his head toward the ceiling. Huh. He’s never noticed that light there before. Has it always been there? Probably.

 “Janus,” Patton calls, “can you—um—“

 Rolling his eyes again, he looks back down, crossing one leg over the other. He hides the lack of sweetness by pursing his lips.

 “Yes?”

 “Did you hear what I asked?”

 “Of course I did,” he drawls, idly flicking the tips of his gloves together.

 “…so what do you think?”

  Honestly.

 “He didn’t hear you,” Logan says quietly, and thank god the other brain cell has joined the chat.

 Patton frowns. “Then why—never mind.”

  Oh, Patton.

 “I asked if you knew how to help,” Patton says, his hands clutched in his lap, “with the barrier breaking down. It’s been kind of rough from our side so…”

 Right.

 There hadn’t been a barrier up until a few years ago. Something had formed in the Mindscape, an invisible wall. It wasn’t real, of course, but it made walking through the hallways unnecessarily difficult. One of them would try to walk from one side to the other and be suddenly seized with a compulsion to do anything but. Or they’d be accompanying another Side back to the room only to freeze in the middle of the corridor and have to mutter out apologies. It’s exhausting. Luckily they’d still been able to sink in and out to get from place to place, but it’s not like the barrier actually does anything.

 Janus sighs and uncrosses his legs. The thread leaps to the tip of his tongue, eager, poised.

 “I don’t know,” he says instead, feeling the sweetness recede in disappointment, “I don’t know enough about how it formed in the first place.”

 “It happened around the time of the series premiering,” Logan says thoughtfully, “perhaps it could be linked with the presentation of the Mindscape in the fanbase?”

 Virgil snorts. “Like any of that is accurate.”

 “You don’t know that, Virgil.”

 “Um, excuse me, which of us spends the most time on Tumblr?”

 “What does that have to do with anything?”

 “Where do you think most of the fanbase hangs out? ‘Cause it sure as hell ain’t Facebook.”

 “That’s a shame,” Patton sighs, “I miss it.”

 “You miss Facebook?”

 “You know it does still exist, right?”

 “Did Thomas ever even have Facebook?”

 “The color palettes were nice!”

 “You mean they were blue.”

 “Yeah, that’s what I said.”

 “…the point being I know a lot about what the fans do with the content we give them and most of that stuff is entirely made-up.”

 Logan raises an eyebrow. “As opposed to the made-up that the series is.”

 “Shut up, L.”

 “I’d rather not, actually.”

 Virgil swats Logan’s shoulder half-heartedly.

 Janus is smiling. Why is he smiling? He hasn’t lied enough for the sweetness to make him smile and it’s not like Remus has appeared with feet coming out of his head again. In fact, Remus is just…sitting next to Roman. Granted, he’s got his morning star in his lap dripping with god knows what, but there are no crazy shenanigans happening.

 He watches Logan reach out and tangle his fingers with Virgil’s as Patton starts talking again. He watches Virgil nudge Remus’s tape back over to him when he drops it halfway through rewrapping the grip on his morning star. He watches Roman cover a flinch that he’d never have noticed if he wasn’t paying attention and sees Remus take hold of Roman’s costume and grip it tight in his fist.

 The thread twitches angrily on his tongue as he tries to make sense of what’s happening.

 “Has anything happened,” Roman asks as Patton pauses, “on your side?”

 Virgil shrugs. “I haven’t noticed anything. But I normally sink straight to my room, so…”

 “Remus?”

 “You do realize that most of the thoughts that come into my head are the type that you guys would ignore anyway, right?”

 Roman rolls his eyes too, but it’s fond. Affectionate. Janus is not.

 “…Janus? What about you?”

 The thread begins to sew neat little words into his tongue, all prepared for him to say. Yes, he’s noticed something, he’s noticed that the others are so much less fun than they used to be. No, he hasn’t noticed anything, it’s not like he’s the observant one.

 Yes, he’s noticed that the barrier is fading and he hates it.

 No, he hasn’t noticed anything because he spends as little time with the others as possible.

 “I don’t know.”

 Patton nods. “That’s okay, just…maybe try keeping an eye out? See if anything changes?”

 “I will.”

 The thread takes longer to undo that night.

 Janus slumps onto his elbows and groans.

 When did he become addicted to the sweetness? When did it get so hard for him to realize when he’s the one telling the lies and when the thread is telling the lies? When did he stop caring about the words coming out of his mouth?

 The truth is, of course, that he didn’t.

 He started caring more about the others.

 The thread tightens in warning but Janus pushes it aside. He frowns, staring hard at the grooves in the desk. He started to care about them, not just as parts of Thomas’s personality that would help him do things, but as their own Sides. As them.

 He cares about how Logan’s eyes light up just a little when he starts talking about something. He cares about how warm Patton speaks when they’re all there. He cares about how bouncy Remus gets when they talk to him. He cares about when Virgil’s eyeshadow turns all purple and sparkly. He cares about how hard it’s become to genuinely make Roman smile.

 The thread groans.

 Janus curses.

 He can’t.

 “The others aren’t important,” he hisses at the mirror, “Thomas is the only important one.”

 The thread pauses.

 “I don’t care what they want,” he continues, feeling it slowly start to unwind, “it only matters that Thomas is safe. That Thomas knows what’s going on.”

 It starts to run back out along his tongue.

 “Their thoughts and feelings aren’t important.” His hands ball into fists. “I don’t care about them.”

 His tongue starts to taste sweet again.

 “I don’t care about them,” he repeats in a whisper, “they aren’t important to me.”

 The salt of the tears goes perfectly with the sweetness on his tongue.

————————————————

Something is wrong.

 Something is horribly, desperately wrong and the others are panicking.

 The barrier is gone. That’s not the bad thing. The bad thing is that along with it, everything in the Mindscape is rushing out of control.

 The walls won’t hold. The doors lock and unlock more often than they stay in place. Floors disappear out of nowhere and open up into yawning black pits. The doors to the Imagination buckle and groan under the onslaught of rushing beasts from the other side. Something is fading.

 They can’t sink out anymore. They need to know where everything is in order to do that. The place is a labyrinth. Only one entrance, one exit. There’s no way that they’ll know the right path unless they run it themselves.

 Janus knows something is broken the instant his eyes open. He can feel it. Cracks wind their way through the walls, through the floor, the ceiling shakes. He’s out of his room in an instant, running through the halls, somewhere, anywhere, are they alright? Where are they? Have they faded?

 “Virgil!”

 “Janus?” Virgil flies into him at breakneck speed, clutching his cape in both hands. “Are you—what’s happening? Where is everyone? Did something go wrong? What’s happening to Thomas?”

 The thread perks its end up eagerly but Janus swallows it down.

 “I don’t know what’s happening,” he says quickly, pulling Virgil closer, “and you’re the first one I’ve seen.”

 “I can’t find anyone,” Virgil pants, “I can’t—there’s no one—we’re going to fade.”

 “We won’t, I promise. We just have to find the others.”

 “Hello?” Another voice calls out from around the corner. “Hello, where the fuck is everyone? Who decided to break shit without me?”

 “Remus!”

 “That’s me, where the fuck—“ Remus barrels around the corner, almost knocking them over— “Virgil! Snake Face!”

 “Remus—“ Virgil wraps Remus in his arms, clutching him tightly. “Where were you? What’s going on?”

 “I was draining the viscera from a partially dissected sperm whale—“ of course he was— “but then everything started shaking.”

 “We can’t find the others.”

 “Then what the fuck are we waiting for?”

 They don’t even look back; Remus grabs Janus’s sleeve and Virgil still hasn’t let go of his cape, dragging him behind as they race through the halls. They can see where the barrier used to be, though with how much the place has shifted, it’s impossible to tell. Janus grits his teeth as they prepare themselves to smash through.

 Nothing happens.

 They just keep barreling down the corridor.

 “Patton! Logan! Roman!”

 “Where the fuck are you guys?”

 “Can you hear us?”

 “Re? Re, is that you?”

 “Ro!”

Remus reroutes them effortlessly, barreling through chunks of disappearing floor and leaping over cracks forming in the tiles. Virgil hangs onto Janus as they go. Janus can’t let go of either of them.

 “In here!”

 A blade flashes through a crumbling chunk of wall and a hand reaches out. Remus grabs it and vaults through the opening.

“Oh my goodness, Virgil!”

 “Pat—“

 Another hand helps to haul him through the crack. The hand he has in his cape pulls uncomfortably at Janus’s neck.

 “Where’s Janus? Did you guys see him?”

 “Yeah, he’s right here, Ja—“

 “Snake Face, get your butt in here.”

 “Don’t just stand there, help you idiots!”

 A sickening crack right above him makes him jerk his head up. His eyes widen as a massive chunk of ceiling starts to fall. Hands wrap around his arms, his clothes, even his waist and pull.

 “Janus?” He blinks through the dust to see Logan staring at him, concern written plainly all over his face. “Are you alright?”

 No, the thread sews, I am now trapped with the five people I abhor most in this world. I am the furthest from alright I could possibly be.

 “Are you all alright,” he asks instead, lifting his hand to fix Logan’s collar, “I’m not hurt.”

 “We’re fine,” Roman says, helping him to his feet, “we managed to get in here before the place really started coming down.”

 “What’s going on?”

 Patton’s shoulders slump at Virgil’s question. “We were hoping you would know.”

 Janus bites back a curse, turning to look at the opening. It’s blocked now, completely choked in dust. He glances around.

 “Where are we?”

 “Safe room,” Roman says, tapping the wall, “something Remy helped us come up with.”

 “Remy?”

 “He’s a bitch but he knows what he’s doing.”

 “Fair enough.” Janus grits his teeth. “So what do we know?”

 “Who was awake when it happened,” Logan asks, “Roman and I were not.”

 “I was also not awake,” Virgil mutters, “and I would really appreciate this not being how I wake up ever again.”

 “I agree.” Janus glances at Patton and Remus. “I was asleep too. Remus, you said you were awake?”

 “I was in the middle of an experiment!”

 Logan perks up. “An experiment?”

 “As much as I love watching you two be nerds together,” Roman breaks in, “can we do that later?”

 “Of course.”

 “Spoilsport,” Remus says fondly, “but it wasn’t me. I’ve done this experiment before, nothing I do could do…this.”

 All eyes turn to Patton.

 “…Padre?”

 Patton shakes his head. “I…I don’t know. I had just gotten up to get a glass of water when it shattered in my hand.”

 “It did what?”

 “Are you hurt?”

 “Let me see.”

 “No, no, guys I’m fine,” Patton says quickly, holding up his hands, “but then the whole house started to shake. I don’t—I don’t know what’s going on.”

 Janus’s heart sinks. He’s telling the truth.

 They’re stuck.

 “Oh, god,” Virgil mutters, his hands flying to his head, “oh god, oh my god, no one knows what’s going on.”

 “V,” Logan murmurs, crouching down and reaching to take his hands, “Virgil, look at me.”

 “We’re going to mess everything up—it’s going to be so bad—what’s happing to Thomas?”

 “Virgil, look at me, come now, it’s going to be alright—“

 “How can you promise that?” Virgil’s voice starts to rise. “Have you seen what’s happening?”

 “Easy, shadow-ling,” Roman murmurs too, his hand carding through Virgil’s hair, “just listen to Logan.”

 “You’re doing well,” Logan encourages, rubbing Virgil’s arms, “just stay here, with me, alright?”

 Janus watches Patton and Remus stand a little closer to the three of them, shielding them from the debris still raining down from outside. Something in his gut clenches.

 Then he notices the tremors are slowing as the other calm Virgil down.

 And it clenches more.

 “It’s us,” he mutters quietly, almost too quietly for the others to hear, “it’s us. We have to stick together.”

 The thread on his tongue twitches angrily. There’s almost no sweetness left in his mouth now.

 Patton looks over his shoulder. “What do you mean?”

 “Look—“ Janus points at a crack in the wall— “they’re moving slower now. The closer we are together the less this place falls apart.”

 Virgil’s next inhale is almost a sob.

 “I really do just ruin everything, don’t I?”

 “No,” Roman says firmly, wrapping his arms tightly around the shaking Side, “we’ve had this conversation, shadow-ling. You’re important to us. You’re not a burden. And this certainly isn’t your fault.”

 “We need you,” Patton echoes, reaching down to rest his hand on Virgil’s shoulder, “don’t go anywhere.”

 “Don’t make us chase you.” Remus bonks his head into Virgil’s. “Not fun.”

 Virgil still looks doubtful. Which, alright, isn’t his fault. Voices in the head, not to mention the general anxiety, it’s no surprise, not really. Janus clears his throat.

 “Virgil,” he says softly, crouching down as well, “Virgil, listen to me.”

 Purple eyes stare at him.

 “You haven’t lost us,” he promises, “you won’t lose us. You’re important, not just for Thomas, but for us too. We care about you. All of you.”

 “Fuck, J,” Virgil huffs, swiping at his face, “why’d you have to make me cry?”

 The tremors keep settling.

 Patton throws his arms around Virgil. “See? We care about you, kiddo. We love you.”

 Something else twitches in Janus’s throat as he hears Patton say that. Virgil must notice it too; he looks up and squints at Patton.

 “Have we ever told you that we care about you?”

  Bingo.

 Patton falters, his grip wavering. His smile wobbles. “W-well, no, not really, but that’s okay! I know you do.”

 Logan tilts his head. “But you enjoy hearing it said.”

 The smile slips even further. “…you don’t like saying it.”

 “That’s no excuse!” Roman reaches over Virgil to get to Patton. “If you want us to say it, we can say it!”

 Janus shifts his attention. “Patton?”

 “…yeah?”

 “No one takes care of us like you do,” he says softly, “and none of us care as openly as you do.”

 Patton’s eyes widen. “Janus—“

 “You try,” he continues, not to be interrupted, not now, “and that is perhaps the most admirable thing we could ask for.”

 “He made Pat cry too,” Virgil mutters, pulling the now-sobbing side in for a hug.

 “Happy tears,” Patton manages, “I—wow.”

 A crack in the wall disappears.

 “Is that what this is?” Logan looks around. “An…emotional problem?”

 “We’re fading, the whole Mindscape is,” Janus says around the thread, “if we—if we stay, then we can fix this.”

 “O-oh.”

 That tone of voice always leads somewhere good. Sure enough, as he looks around, he sees Logan adjust his glasses and take a step back.

 “And where are you going?”

 “I’m not sure I can help,” Logan says flatly. “You have the answer already.”

 “But we’re not done.”

 “And what do you expect I can lend to this problem?” He spreads his arms wide. “I’m no expert on emotions, nor am I useful in proving things that are already true.”

 “Wait, what the fuck are you talking about, L?” Virgil scrambles up. “What are we proving here?”

 “That you are important.” Logan frowns as Patton and Roman scramble up too. “What?”

 “You’re implying that you’re not important,” Remus growls, “and I’m pissed about it.”

 “But—“

 “No buts!” Roman points a stern finger at him. “Believing yourself to be unimportant is a falsehood!”

 “I never said I was unimportant,” Logan corrects, “I said I would not be helpful in this situation.”

 “Bullshit. You helped me calm down.”

 “So did Patton and Roman.”

 “You figured out that I like being told that you guys care about me!”

 “That was obvious.”

 “Logan,” Janus calls softly to get his attention, “Logan, if you believe that anyone knows us better than you, you are gravely mistaken.”

 Logan’s mouth drops open.

 “You claim not to know emotions,” he continues, stepping closer, “but you know us, perhaps better than we know ourselves at times. You are kind, you are wonderful, and if you ever stop teaching us things, I am sure we would never recover.”

 He slips Logan’s glasses back into position.

 “You are not just Logic,” he murmurs, “you’re Logan. Stay. Be Logan.”

 Logan swallows heavily.

 “I must ask,” he says hoarsely as a tear rolls down his cheek, “if you intend to make everyone cry today.”

 Janus chuckles. “No, I don’t, but it seems that it may be a side effect. I promise I’m not trying.”

 “You won’t make me cry,” Remus remarks casually, “not without trying. I don’t care.”

 Oh, Remus. Janus doesn’t bother to hide his smile at the indignant squawk from Virgil as Remus implies that he doesn’t care about the others.

 “I don’t need to try to make you cry,” he says, “I’ve never wanted that. I just want you to be listened to.”

 “…fuck you, Snakey.”

 Patton lunges forward as Remus sniffles.

 “Do we just like…not talk to each other, then?” Virgil wipes his nose. “Because I sure as hell don’t remember us getting this emotional about anything.”

 Then Janus realizes that his mouth tastes bitter.

 The thread has not been idle, he realizes in horror, not while he’s been spilling his guts to the others in an effort to hold them all together. It’s dragged itself over his tongue, scraping every last bit down his throat, winding tighter and tighter. His mouth tastes bitter. It’s not supposed to be bitter. It burns, scraping along the sides of his mouth until they smart. He swallows frantically. It’s not working. Nothing is working. It hurts. His tongue hurts. His throat hurts.

 The floor wobbles.

 He can’t catch his breath.

 His eyes land on Roman.

 No.

  No.

 No, no, no, he can’t stop now.

 Not here.

 Not with Roman.

 Roman just watches the others wrap their arms tightly around his brother still wiping snot from his nose. A soft smile curls at his mouth that never reaches his eyes. Behind him, massive cracks open up in the walls.

 No.

 He can’t let Roman fall.

 Not after everything.

 Roman notices he’s staring at him. He just raises an eyebrow.

 “Going to make me cry again,” he asks softly, “or are you all finished for the day?”

 The thread stabs words into his tongue until he can taste blood.

  Well, it’s not like it’s difficult to make you cry.

  If I had something that would work, I’d say it.

  Only if you were a Side worth worrying about.

 No.

 No, no, he won’t say that. He won’t.

 The thread tightens around his throat as a harsher warning. The bitterness on his tongue worsens.

 “It’s alright, Janus—“ no, it isn’t— “I know you don’t like me much anyway. Don’t force yourself.”

  At least you’re being considerate for once in your life.

  Took you this long to figure it out, hmm? No wonder you’re called the stupidest Side.

 Janus grits his teeth against the thread. It just keeps tightening. His mouth has never tasted sweet in his entire life.

 He needs to tell Roman how important he is. He needs to tell Roman that they all have to start paying attention to him. He needs Roman to know that he’s sorry, sorry he ever implied otherwise.

 All that comes out of his mouth instead is: “you need attention.”

 Roman blinks. “Well, yes, I’d say that’s true.”

 He has to tell Roman that Thomas needs him, needs him to be strong and healthy, to dream.

 What comes out instead is: “you spend so much time stuck in your head.”

 Roman frowns. “If that’s the best you can do, there’s no need to overexert yourself. I can make myself cry much easier than that.”

 Why won’t his tongue cooperate?

 The thread just tightens around him again. A warning. A threat. A promise.

 He can’t tell the truth.

 He can’t.

 He can’t.

 It doesn’t matter. Roman won’t know how important he is. He’ll think that Janus hates him and that’s fine.

 Janus struggles to breathe.

 “There are two Creativities,” he grits out, even if the ‘but only one Roman’ won’t follow.

 “Patton is the heart,” comes out next, separate from ‘but he needs you to love.’

 “We don’t need you,” hurts on the way out because it leaves behind ‘but we want you, we want you so badly.’

 The Mindscape is crumbling. Janus can’t speak. The others are going to fade. He can’t help Roman. He’s ruined everything.

 He’s forgotten what sweetness tastes like.

 Roman is frowning at him. He stands, striding across the broken floor, eyes flint chips. Janus closes his eyes and braces for the hit.

 Roman’s fingers hook into his collar and yank.

 “What the fuck is that?”

 “Why is it cutting into him?”

 “How long has that been there, this whole time?”

 “Janus—Janus can you breathe?”

 What?

 Janus opens his eyes in confusion. Roman’s still holding onto him but his eyes are fixed not on his face, but lower. Something shiny casts light onto Roman’s face.

 “Janus,” Roman asks softly, “what is this?”

 “What is what?”

 “This,” Roman says darkly, fingertips tracing across something, “around your neck.”

 No.

 No, it’s not real.

 It can’t be real.

 …can it?

 “It’s not a thread,” Janus spits out, his tongue smarting in the air, “and it doesn’t keep me from telling the truth.”

 Roman’s eyes widen in horror. He reaches forward and Janus keens as the pressure tightens.

 “Don’t stop,” he grits out, “it doesn’t hurt.”

 “The sky is green.”

 “What?”

 “The sky is green,” Roman repeats, still glaring hard at Janus’s neck, “the Fourth of July is in October.”

 The thread loosens.

 “Remus, get over here,” Roman barks. A second later, two more fingers slip under the thread. “Now lie.”

 “Um, ventricles are found in the liver.”

 “Blue is made of red and orange.”

 “The alphabet starts with the letter ‘m.’”

 Logan catches on next. “The sun goes around the earth,” he says, nudging Virgil.

 “Uh—“ he glances around— “Patton isn’t wearing glasses.”

 “Paris is in Canada.”

 “Books are printed on alligator skin.”

 “Water isn’t clear.”

 “Mark Zuckerberg isn’t the inventor of Facebook.”

 “Earmuffs go on your hands.”

 “Hamburgers are vegan.”

 Lies spin out of their mouths. Remus grits his teeth as he pulls at the thread. Patton looks around frantically. Janus still can’t breathe.

 The room is settling, slowly but surely, but there are still cracks snaking their way through the walls, the ceiling, the floor. Right under Janus.

 Roman looks directly at him.

 “I hate you.”

 The thread gives.

 The brothers yank, unspooling the thread from around Janus’s throat, throwing it at the walls. It freezes in mid-air, still glowing gold.

 The cracks weren’t cracks, they were threads.

 The golden thread melts seamlessly into the wall, knitting the place back together, stitch by stitch. The walls settle, glowing softly as the floor reconstitutes under them. The Mindscape breathes.

 Janus hasn’t noticed any of this. He’s too busy collapsing into Roman’s arms, sobbing his heart out.

 “Shh, shh, sweetheart,” Roman coos, “I’ve got you, you’re alright, you did it, come here…”

 “He’s gonna be cold,” he hears someone—probably Virgil?—say over his shoulder, “grab a blanket. Can we sink?”

 “Let me try.” A second later there’s another sigh of relief. “Yeah. We can. Let’s get him to the living room, I’ll get a fire going.”

 “In the fireplace, this time, Remus!”

 “Yeah, yeah!”

 “Come on, little snake,” Roman coaxes, lifting him up to a broad chest, “let’s get you warm.”

 He’s still sobbing breathlessly, draped uselessly over Roman. He feels another set of arms as they sink into the couch.

 “I’ve got him,” Patton says quietly, “hey, kiddo, can you hear me?”

 The next sob is slightly higher.

 “Shh, shh, it’s okay, kiddo, you don’t have to speak right now.” Patton rubs soothing circles into his back. “Just stay right here with me, right here, the others are just getting the nest set up.”

 N-nest?

 “Give him to me, I’ll help him down while you slide in.”

 “Make sure to get his head, he’s having trouble right now.”

 “I understand.”

 A warm hand cups the back of his neck, leaning his nose into the crook of a warm shoulder. Books, coffee, whiteboard pen…Logan.

 “You’re freezing,” Logan murmurs, concerned, “let’s get you warmed up…no hyperthermia today, hmm?”

 Janus almost groans in relief as his scales hit something thick and soft and warm. He’s still crying, isn’t he? Why?

 “Hey, Snakey,” Remus mumbles, his hand under Janus’s head, “you gotta roll over, you’re gonna crush yourself that way. Come on—for crying out loud, you bastards, how long does it take to undo a clasp?”

 “Got it.”

 He suppresses a whine as his cape flies away, only for it quickly be replaced by a warm, warm blanket. He blinks his eyes open, straining to see through the tears. He can only see blobs. What is happening?

 “Rest,” comes another voice, is that Roman? Isn’t Roman angry at him? He can’t stop the confused whine.

 “Shh, shh, easy, little snake,” Roman soothes, running his hand through his hair, “breathe, that horrible thing was choking you.”

 The horrible thread…is it…gone?

 “Relax, come on, shh…easy,” he says earnestly when Janus whines again, “don’t work yourself up.”

 “He’s gonna hurt himself if he keeps clawing at his throat like that.”

 He’s doing what now?

 Warm hands take each of his and…oh. Well, maybe he was.

 “That’s it,” Patton whispers, “easy…”

 “What…what’s going on?”

 “You did it,” Logan says softly, stroking his thumb along the back of Janus’s hand, “you figured it out.”

 “But—“ he swallows, still not used to the freedom in his throat— “I couldn’t do it.”

 “You weren’t supposed to do it on your own, Jan-Jan. We all had to do it, remember?”

 “That’s what you said, J.”

 “So we did,” Patton finishes, smiling at him, “and it worked.”

 “But—but I—“ Janus’s eyes flash up to catch Roman’s.

 Roman, who sat there and didn’t protest when Janus couldn’t say one nice thing about him.

 Roman, whom Janus has hurt so many times.

 Roman, who pried the thread away from Janus’s throat without blinking.

 Roman, who caught him, and is still here.

 “Maybe the next time we talk,” Roman says softly, “we can do it without that thread around your throat, hmm?”

 “I’m sorry.”

 “Shh, little snake,” he murmurs, gently stroking a tear away from Janus’s cheek, “I know. But not right now, okay? You’re still crying.”

 He is?

 Oh.

 “Close your eyes,” he encourages, his hand still cupping Janus’s face, “rest, we all need it.”

 “Did we—“ his tongue is heavy— “did we ever figure out what happened?”

 “I believe Thomas had something of an identity crisis,” Logan remarks, “but we can figure that out later. For now…we should all try and go back to sleep.”

 “Great. Pop Star, budge.”

 “Hey! Kiddo!”

 “Ah. Much better.”

 “Pocket Protector, stop pretending you don’t wanna cuddle and get down here.”

 “In a moment, Remus, I need to take my glasses off.”

 “Ro-Bro! Get over here.”

 “Re, pulling me over Janus is not going to work.”

 “L, are you coming?”

 “Must you all be so impatient?”

 “Yes, my dear darling nerd, now come here.”

 Logan rolls his eyes and lies down, still holding Janus’s hand. On his other side, Roman leans Janus’s head into his chest and hums softly.

 “There. Now we’re all together again.”

 “Shut the fuck up, Princey, I’m trying to sleep.”

 “Shut up yourself, then.”

 “Kiddos.”

 “Sorry, Pat.”

 Logan chuckles. Remus shifts on the edge of the blanket nest. Roman tilts Janus’s chin up.

 “Are you alright,” he whispers as the others drift off to sleep, “not hurt?”

 Janus shakes his head. “I…was it really a lie?”

 “Was what really a lie, little snake?”

 “…you said ‘I hate you.’”

 “Oh, that.” Roman chucks him lightly under the chin. “What does your mouth taste like?”

 …sweet.

 It’s sweet.

 Oh.

  Oh.

 Roman smiles. “Go to sleep, little snake.”

 The Sides fall asleep in the Mindscape, threads wearing them tightly together.

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