#anyway this addition is absolutely for us shippers but it is open ended

[recycledraccoon]

What happens next? What happens when The Bad Kids do what they do best and save the world? What happens when the RAGE is suddenly gone?

Would they ashamed of themselves? Of what they did? Of who they became?

.

.

You were a naive teenage freshman, and two teachers you trusted were manipulating you into a monster. You didn't notice, distracted by typical teenage problems and petty insecurities. You didn't fight it. You walked willingly down the easy path and became pawns in their grand plan.

You know how it started. This is how it ends.

(YOU HATE THEM THEY ARE IN YOUR WAY AND YOU ARE GOING TO KILL THEM AND PROVE YOURSELF BETTER FINALLY! THERE IS NO MORE WAITING YOU ARE CROSSING BLADES AND FLINGING SPELLS WITH UNRELENTING WRATH AND DEADLY INTENTIONS-)

They fight you. Their teamwork is flawless in a way your party's has never been. Their awareness of the battlefield and their control over it makes it all the more apparent that this battle is a raging wild thunderstorm trying to break apart a mountain standing tall and insurmountable. The mountain does not so much as bend, for all that you blast holes and carve deep into the rock. The mountain does not bend, nor bow, much less-

The storm will always break first.

It ends like this-

(WHY ISNT THIS WORKING WHY ARE THEY STILL FIGHTING THEY WONT DIE THEYWONTDIETHEYWONT-PAIN. IT HURTS! IT HURTS! NO!! NO NO NONONOPAINNOPAINNOPAINNOPAI-)

You die.

.

.

.

.

Dying like this is vengeance. It is retribution.

.

.

.

But it is not JUSTICE.

.

.

.

Let's try again.

You wake up.

(Doubt shepherds you back through the dark.

Justice and Conviction, like sunlight warm and golden, breaks over the horizon.

The rage implanted inside you dissolves into golden light to join the dawn.)

You are a Dragonborn, no longer little or weak by any means, but it still feels like nothing ever changed at all from that very first day. You feel very small, rubbing at a chest that is incredibly tender and sore.

Before your blurry eyes, are The Bad Kids. Battered, bruised, bloody. Standing tall, heroic, and undefeated.

The Cleric of Doubt and Paladin of Justice both have brought you back to breathing, and you watch in awe and horror as all of your friends are awake too.

Idly, you realise they also rub at their chests near immediately. You look down and find no red star-like gem of rage embedded there. Only ugly, fully healed scars like a jagged star.

(What have you done?)

Later, there will be questions and officials and repercussions. Justice for you will look like second chances, and the hard unending road of righting the wrongs you have done.

Death is the easy way out.

Redemption is hard.

For right now, the heroes before you are wearily celebrating, cracking jokes and rubbing blood off their faces. All the while your party is still gathering your bearings, and you have no idea where your glasses are.

Shame rolls in your gut and even as you and your friends sit together you can barely look at each other.

Finally, words are exchanged, a clearing of the board. It doesn't fix anything of what you've done, but you know without doubt if you ever try anything again they will not bring you back a second time. You settle in to wait for whatever authorities will be coming.

(Later, while you are in a cell waiting to find out what happens next, your party will be told that the friend you killed was brought back, the curse preventing her revival broken. You are not the only one in those cells to weep, loud and ugly and so so relieved.)

A pair of cracked glasses appear in front of you, held by a hand with bloody knuckles. You put them on, blink as you adjust to the cracked glass but vision once more clear. You see the bloody knuckles again, and with a jolt realize those are the hands that killed you. You died under the crunch of a furious fist you never anticipated.

You look up.

When you saw her for the first time, she was a cute, if sometimes awkward, elven girl in your Thursday classes. You kept seeing her, even as she became renowned and remarkable, even as you had been slowly getting angrier.

The first time she ever smiled at you, you had hated her already. She had been very pretty, and if you had been anything less than actively planning to kill her, you think her expert spell craft but awkward stumbling of words and red cheeks would have left you utterly enchanted in truth.

Later, before you fight and die, the look she gives you is cold and piercing, determined. The only red on her cheeks is blood that had splattered there.

You look up.

The Elven Oracle, the most powerful divination wizard you have ever met or will ever meet again, stands towering above you for all that you know logically she is at least a foot shorter than you.

Her blonde hair is a mess, clothes dirty and ripped and stained dark in some places. Her eyes flicker with the magic of the powerful Oracle she is, as she stares down at you.

(You wonder what she sees about you in those flickers.)

She frowns, lips pursed for a moment, but her hands clench and you think for moment she might punch you to death again. Or yell at you maybe, but is biting her tongue.

Instead, with one last look of piercingly cold eyes that could kill, she turns to join her friends, leaving you behind without hesitation or second thought, or even a last word.

(Good for her.)

You are a horrible coward. Selfish and capable of cruelty that makes your shame increase tenfold. She had smiled at you and chilled a drink in your hand. She defended you and called you cool to her friends that day in the cafeteria. You took advantage of that, of those tender early feelings, and crushed them under an angry, undeservingly bitter, heel.

You are a horrible selfish coward, and you don't think you've ever seen anyone more beautiful in your life than her, even as she walks away from you.

You can't ever imagine she will ever smile at you again now. What future will there ever be, where she sees you and her eyes aren't cold and scornful? Nothing more than a bitter memory to be forgotten and set aside for better things. How could she ever see anything you say or do as genuine ever again? You certainly wouldn't.

(The way your heart pounds in your chest, fast and heavy, feels like yet another sin on your sagging scaled shoulders. There is an intense moment of painful, shameful yearning that you swallow down, down, down and away. Watching her back as she walks away will be more than you ever deserve to have gotten in the first place. More than you think you will ever deserve again in whatever life you scrap together after this.)

Life, as ever, continues after that day like it always has and always will.

You go to prison for a time, as what you and your friends did as minors- manipulated or not- are legally responsible for in the aftermath is decided. You go to therapy, serve a very forgiving sentence, and when you go on parole your time is eaten up by both mandatory and voluntary community service.

You try to get better. To be better. You think you and your party are true friends now, bound together by bitter shame at what you've all done and gone through together.

(The first person who visits your party while in prison who isn't a member of any of your families, is Lucy Frostblade. Even as a Cleric of a Sorrowful God, you don't think you've ever seen her more sad than sitting across from all of you, warded glass between. There are no apologies that will ever be enough.

But Lucy has always, always been braver and stronger than any of you. The power of her conviction is something wondrous.

She always tried to be that fire to keep the cold and dark at bay, even as it risked burning her. By all the gods, you had burned her to ash, and yet here she is again. Alive and renewed. A campfire relit and flickering in the distance, promising safety and warmth.

Despite everything, Lucy sits across from all of you and promises to see you through this.)

Days go by. Never again are the seven of you known as The Rat Grinders, except in past tense when speaking the history of your sins. You don't go back to being High Five Heros, but you grow into something new together.

You still fight rage some days. It makes you feel sick and scared. You always are afraid of what is genuine emotion and what is lingering from the star-scar on your chest.

You still think about her sometimes.

(Selfishly you hope you are a distant memory to her, and she never thinks of you and your cruelty to her again. Even more selfishly, even more shamefully, there is a tiny part in your heart where you wish she doesn't forget you like you know you won't forget her. It's better to smother that part of your heart into deeper and deeper depths, hoping beyond hope that painful yearning doesn't overcome you and cause it to rise up again. She deserves a life without having to deal with people like you.)

The thing about The Bad Kids, is how ironic their name is given how genuinely and unabashedly good they are.

Lucy remains their friend, even as she helps the rest of them on their steady journey back from evil.

This means it's inevitable that the two once rival parties meet again. It's awkward at first, but The Bad Kids give them shit and rag on them as easily as they extend kindness. You will meet more people and realize that you are not the first villains in their lives they've forgiven.

You give the beautiful Elven Oracle as a sincere apology for the past as you can. She quirks an eyebrow at you, and as lovely a sight as it is, the shame is greater. You don't know if she believes you in the slightest. You don't want to find out.

You do your best to not bother her at all, on the occasions the two parties meet.

(Try as you might, you are powerless to stop your eyes from locking onto her the second she enters any room you are in. You always look away as quickly and casually as you can, frazzled heart pounding like a traitor. It's harder to not watch whenever she walks away, the memory of the day she walked away from you locked in your mind like crystal glass.)

You keep moving forward. Life goes on. You keep a pair of cracked spectacles in a box in your closet. On the bad days, when you hate yourself the most, you look and remember that you have been given kindness and a second chance by people who hated you. If they gave you a second chance, you feel it would be in poor taste to not extend yourself that same courtesy.

You and your friends become legally speaking, free souls. You get qualifications and find work that feels right for you. There are some things you and your friends never joke about again, but you find new things to fill in those gaps.

You move on. You're not sure if it's working sometimes, but you keep moving anyway. Relationships become easier, you try new things and meet more people. You have a whole life left to live. One day you find yourself capable and confident, which is a bit of a surprise. You try every day to be as sincere and honest as you can.

(Sometimes, you feel a powerful, almost familiar, gaze on you. You were a coward once. You never took on a quest you thought you couldn't beat, the fear of failure hanging above too great. It's been a long time, and you are a very different person now. You are still too much of a coward to ever turn around to find that gaze.)

One day, you agree to go do a job as a favor to a friend. Your field is specialized, and you enjoy working in a field that makes your brain work, writing out pages and pages of complicated maths and spell work. Either way, you have the qualifications and are confident you can get it done and settled far faster and better than anyone else your friend could have asked.

You go to the job, and are caught off guard and flustered when there happens to be a beautiful Elven woman also working on the project. She looks up at you with a powerful gaze, a cocked eyebrow and a smirk that feels a little like a challenge, a dare.

(You want to run away, hide, calm the heart that you find to be a selfish, shameful traitor even after all this time. It pounds in your chest hard enough your afraid it might just kill you.)

You walk in to get started, hands already reaching for a folder of information being handed to you from a college as you gets the run down, ready to work.

Minor thoughts on Oisin and how he seems primed to fuck over Adaine specifically. The flustered ping-pong balls that were a plan all along. The quoting her own words on the previous Elven Oracle back at her in regards to the storm.

I mean...imagine you're a skinny little dragonborn wizard, in a class with a cute elven girl. You don't talk to her, but one of your adventuring party members is pissing thinking that party is getting preferential treatment, so you KNOW about her. You watch from the corner of your eye or from a spot on the back of the class whenever she's actually there. Partway through the year she goes to jail, and when she comes back she and her adventuring party save the world from a dragon. (A dragon of whom your Grandmother had been fond. ((Also, coincidentally, the Vice Principal.))) One of them created a god.

(Your entire party is being groomed into rage by two of your teachers.)

You're in her class again. She is the Elven Oracle, already an accomplished adventurer. She and her friends are popular. She's very pretty. She does not know your name. She does not know who you are, just a skinny dragonborn a few seats back.

You go on your Sophomores Year Spring Break Adventure and don't bother to think about her party at all.

(You and your party are going to kill a god. Your teacher is going to ascend to godhood in their place and you and your party will have Made That Happen. You are angry and determined with each final blow you deal.)

You return from Spring Break angry and with a sore chest.

You find out the elven girl's party has resurrected a dead god and the live streamed the entire fight. They must think they're so much better than you and your party. You'll show them.

(Your friend refuses to change her faith. She cancels the paperwork. The rest of you kill her, confident she will make the right choice and join you again as a proper Champion for your new god. You help kill her. She does not get back up. You hide the body and none of you can say anything. You're so so angry.)

The world descended into darkness and you can do nothing. The sun finally breaks across the sky again right before Junior year. You and your party have made plans and are on the cusp of greatness. You've gained muscles to spare and ink on your scales in carefully selected runes, no longer just a skinny little dragonborn.

(You have a new cleric. He's not your friend. He's a haystack hick from that cult-church from Freshman year, and he's here because the god you're going to kill needs a Champion and he fits the bill, nothing more.)

The first day of school the plan starts to be put in motion. Immediately that party of kids is interfering, in your way. It rackles. You push on anyway, seething inside even as you act the part of being reasonable.

You go to a party at the houses of one of her friends. You've been practicing making spell runes on the inside of ping-pong balls. You're ready.

The pretty Elven girl in your class finally looks at you. She approaches you, gives you a drink, and chills it in your hand. She has to ask your name. You have shared certain wizarding classes with her since Freshman year, tho she was barely there. You have to tell her that.

You chat. She clearly gets flustered, calls you great, and flees back into the house. Your friend teases you for others to overhear. It's a convenient excuse to use your geometry and apply physics to miss every single shot and lay your trap. The drink isn't so perfectly chilled in your hand anymore.

(You talk to her. Play nice. She isn't smooth, but she smiled at you and maybe a part of you is vindictive in seeing her flustered. It's a shame she turned down the diamonds, as dragon madness would have been so poetic. You steal her summons to steal something from the house. She didn't know your name. Didn't remember you. You feel justified. Your anger burns cold like frostbite, like static in the air. You purposely don't wonder if that first miss was intentional or genuine.)

You see each other in class sometimes.

You plot and kill monsters the woods. You will win the battle. You will win the war.

Your parties have a standoff in the cafeteria. You play your part to diffuse the situation, your teacher has been harping on your friends to stop antagonizing the other party. You feel her mind touch yours gentle probing of intentions, her friends all around her as you lock eyes.

(The devil's honey your group gets from that bee girl all goes to your teacher. He is preparing himself to ascend to godhood, and he needs it for his prayers.)

She is searching for your intentions and feelings. You tell her only 'Sorry'. She believes you. You are not entirely sure why. She and her party will hopefully die during their Last Stand exam, and have no way to revive themselves in time, be trapped there until after elections.

Maybe she just wasn't perceptive enough to see the deception.

(You hate her and all her friends. You have had no devil's honey. She believes you. Briefly, you wonder if it was a lie at all.)

They catch you. They know. Your team goes to ground and waits out the remaining days 'til elections and the culmination of everything you've been working for.

It rains at the party, and you have no more masks. You are angry. She must never have been that good of an Oracle at all, and you take joy in mocking her with her own words from long ago.

She's nothing more than an elven girl in your class who was full of herself to remember your name.

(There is nothing left now to stop you from being as openly angry as you like.)

[lunar-years]

The batshit thing about the R/K shippers hating on Jamie is that Keeley and Roy both love Jamie. The haters have completely ignored every character beat and growth and instead focused on "het couple is always end game" and got pissed when that didn't happen because it turns out their characters are more nuanced than that.

they mischaracterize all three of them to an insane degree because they for some reason feel the constant need to prove that R/K are the healthiest most well adjusted couple in the history of television and Jamie possesses absolutely zero threat to their relationship whatsoever because they both are merely 'putting up with him' at best or secretly hate him at worst (all of which are laughable claims to anyone who has watched the show with their eyes open, and possesses even the most meager analysis skills in their brains).

I also think the way they talk about R/K is often so reductive if not genuinely gross (in addition to just being like, generally of a heteronormative flavor)...and that's the ship they're meant to LIKE. like there were people yesterday screaming about how "Roy would NEVER share Keeley!!!1!!!" and it's like...well Keeley isn't a toy they're passing around or hogging, so jot that down. She's a person with her own agency, who isn't with... get this... EITHER ONE OF THEM at the end of the series!!! Yeah, that includes ROY!!! So Roy at the moment really has zero say in whether she wants to fuck Jamie again or not, lmao. she's every bit as capable of getting back together with him as she is Roy post canon. and if they were together, opening their relationship to someone else would be...a mutual decision...because Keeley is a whole character of her own and not just a prop for your male fav...

And then there's the whole "well we ship something that's actually CANON and therefore BETTER, whereas R/J & RJK shippers are just weaving mystical delusions because they're ~desperate for representation~ or whatever. Which is apparently why the Apple TV account and even the actors should never, ever so much as allude to RJK again, because it diminishes their "real and correct" couple. Again, NEITHER PAIRING IS EVEN ENDGAME CANON.

And finally, all the little ways they constantly try to mask the fact that they just hate Jamie because he's in the way of their ship with "real analysis" that boils down to such riveting takes as: "Jamie = Irredeemable and Bad because he hurt Keeley three seasons ago" "Roy = baby boy who has never hurt Keeley ever in his life and is perfect for her in every which way. oh? here's a canonical scene where Roy is canonically hurting Keeley? WELL, that's just bad writing. OOC, that is. the writers just suck. my favorites cannot be flawed"

anyway...I love roykeeley in the very specific way they exist in my head but i really need the r/k diehards to like... step back and accept the fact that they canonically BROKE UP and are not inherently perfect and better than any other ship between flawed characters. go read fanfiction and imagine the ending of your choosing to your heart's content, like the rest of us, and stop targeting social media managers jumping on the latest silly internet meme. sorry for the rant it's just....so fucking irritating

[yabai-korra]

The reasons why we're getting Manorian book

There has been a lot of speculation whether SJM is going to favor us with book/novella about Manon Blackbeak and Dorian Havilliard, recently I saw some fans doubting it, so here's a list of logical reasons why it's happening.

1. It's SJM

This woman writes two 500+ pages books per year, for her it would be a piece of cake.

2. There have already been books focused on side characters

a) Chaol and Yrene - Chaol was one of the most unpopular characters before Tower of Dawn (which made me love him hehe) and she still wrote a 600+ pages long book about him, just imagine what she'd do with the most popular character (Manon) and one of the most popular ones (Dorian).

b) Nesta and Cassian - this is ship is the closest to Manorian equivalent in ACOTAR series, aka starting from a physical relationship that develops into a sentimental one. Also 6th ACOTAR book will be focused on a new characters (most probably Elain)

3. Favoritism

SJM has talked multiple times about her love for these two. When asked about her favorite TOG character, she said Aelin, but Manon was a close second place and she said that she absolutely loves writing her.

In another interview, when asked who she would go on a book tour with and a few similar questions, she answered Dorian.

Now, I haven't seen all of her interviews ever and I'm not sure how much she loves Nessian and Cahorene (seems to love Nessian a hella lot tho), but it's definite that Manorian are some of her favorite characters and it's just logical that she would write about them.

4. Unfinished story/Unresolved feelings

Ships at the end of TOG:

Rowaelin - married

Elorcan - engaged

Lysaedion - engaged

Chaorene - married with a baby on the way

Nestaq - engaged

Manorian - hug and "we'll see"

All the ships basically got engaged in the last chapter (it's not like I didn't like it hehe) and their stories, romantic-wise, were pretty much finished and they have no unresolved tension between them. Manorian on the other hand, have enough of it for all the ships lol.

KOA spoilers ahead!

Keep in mind, Manorian relationship was mostly a sexual one, and they don't quite yet have a way of communicating their feelings properly. So there is a lot of unaddressed between them, even though they obviously care a lot about each other.

The unresolved things between Manon and Dorian:

"“And if I asked you to stay?” / “I’d need a very convincing reason, I suppose.” / “Because I don’t want you to go.” - they just fucked and Dorian left for Morath later, which impacted Manon a lot but they haven't discussed it

"I even care about you." - Manon got up and left

"There is only one witch who will be my queen." - Manon doesn't know about this

Manon saved Dorian from Valg demon even when Aelin couldn't. It was the worst thing to happen to Dorian and he still bears scars from it, yet he didn't have an appropriate situation to thank Manon for it

Dorian knows that Erawan lusted after Manon, which got him pissed of course, and he didn't have a chance nor time to ask Manon about it. It might be nothing, but if I were Dorain and my girlfriend who doesn't show feelings was locked up with a crazy guy who has a thing for her, and have seen the way he treats women, I'd be concerned. Erawan was a Valg king, a tough opponent even for Manon. If he had done something to her, and he had plenty of means and opportunities and wish to do so, Manon would never openly tell anyone (maybe Asterin) about it, because it would imply opening up and being weak, which is Manon's worst fear. Again, SJM, as the Queen of Foreshadowing, wouldn't just randomly throw in the main villain having a thing for an important character, everything in her books always has a meaning and purpose.

"Would you miss me if I didn't [come back]?" - Manon didn't reply

This is how SJM described Manorian marriage: "She would be his wife, his queen. She was already his equal, his match, mirror in so many ways. And with their union, the world would know it." - and you're telling me it's not deserving of its own book? Not just that, Manon asked Dorian for marriage and they, again, just had sex, with Dorian loving the idea but deep down knowing that Manon would feel caged in a marriage. And that attitude won't just change out of the blue. It takes time and development which is something SJM writes amazingly.

With the Thirteen gone, beside Abraxos Dorian is the only creature Manon cares about.

Dorian's mortality (although as you'll see in point #6 I'm sure he's not human)

The dreaded "You could just marry each other." / "We'll see." (Thanks Yrene :)

5. Foreshadowing

Listen here, SJM IS THE QUEEN OF FORESHADOWING. She thought of a detail (Dorian's dad's name) in the first book that would matter in the last book. Of course, there are many many many more examples of that, but if we got "We'll see." then we'll fucking see it happen.

6. Unresolved things about Manon and Dorian as individual characters.

Manon and Dorian and both pretty broken at the end of KOA.

Manon lost the Thirteen, the only people she cared about. That is a huge trauma that needs to be addressed, especially with someone so reluctant to show feelings and heal like Manon.

Dorian can't be human?? He has fae abilities due to his relation to Gavin and Elena even though he's not even called a demi-fae. He possesses powers no one else does, phantom hands for example, which he didn't steal like shape-shifting. And Maeve pointed out that due to his father being possessed by Valg when Dorian was sired, it's possible he got some of the Valg abilities. (Also she said that he's stronger than Aelin) The main villain, especially written by Queen of Foreshadowing, wouldn't just let drop it there and that's it. Also not to mention Dorian's own struggle with depression and self-worth.

They have both just become rulers of their kingdoms, completely new to it. Dorian has spent a big part of KOA imagining what kind of a king he wants to be (one that will have a witch queen hehe) and it was a major point of his character. And addition to that affecting them as characters, the future of Adarlan and Witch Kingdom could make a good plotline.

7. Other TOG characters

Although pretty much all the readers would die to see Chaorene baby, Lorcan in Perranth, Aelin and Rowan ruling Terrasen, Lysandra and Adeion officially adopting Evangeline, Nesryn and Sartaq becoming Khagan and Empress of Antica, all of these don't make enough of a plot on its own. They are great side-plots.

We know all of these characters love each other and are happy together, there isn't that much to be added to their personal stories other than kids. (same way Feyre and Rhys got a baby in Nessian book) Manorian however, they haven't even kissed without it leading to sex, they hugged at the end of KOA and it was the pique of their relationship. Their relationship is merely at the beginning, whereas others have pretty much reached their ultimatum (ofc SJM can decide to add some drama with betrayal, kidnapping, pregnancy etc. but for now everyone is good and settled beside Manorian)

Not to mention the way other relationships would affect them. Chaol, Dorian's brother, and Yrene, Manon's wannabe bestie and Manorian shipper, would bring their baby to meet his/her uncle Dorian and aunt Manon, and imagine Manon with a baby lol.

SJM loves Aelin and other characters way too much not to give us an insight on them as married couples, but since her books are huge and it's her, it needs a plot with drama, addressing traumas, repressed feelings, worldbuilding, and sex, and Manorian's got all of that.

8. Abraxos

We need more Abraxos, that's just a fact.

Wow that was a long one. Anyways, in conclusion, we're getting that Manorian book. Pretty sure it's gonna a book rather than a novella (TOD was also planned as a novella but then guess what) because there is just SO MUCH possible content.

[zabrak-show]

In the novel Clone Wars: Stories of the Light and Dark Obi-Wan's chapter retells the episode "The Lawless". While overall I found the book, while certainly not bad, missing a certain something and although some chapters really add to the corresponding episodes such as Rex' retelling of the Umbara arc, many are just very close retellings of the episodes. Now Kenobi's chapter was a mixed bag to me because some of it is really just an exact recount of the events of the episode, however, I found some additions made in regards to Maul interesting.

To no one's surprise there's a bit about Obi-Wan's almost hatred: "Hate was not the Jedi way. But for this man, Obi-Wan had grown weary of keeping it at bay."

Then we get confirmation that Maul is either just very perceptive, simply has Kenobi all figured out or is actually able to mindprobe even such thoroughly trained - albeit here clearly distraught - Jedi as Obi-Wan: "Maul seemed to sense his thoughts."

And of course we have Obi-Wan's reaction to Satine's death - which tbh made me all the more convinced that even though Obi-Wan might have crushed on her as a padawan, he is more fond of than in love sith her at this point -: "When Maul killed Qui-Gon Jinn, Obi-Wan was stricken with sorrow. Sorrow gripped him again. But there was something else, as well. Something dangerous. Something that scorched. Satine wasn't Maul's enemy. She was just a tool Maul had used to get something he wanted, the throne of Mandalore. And a tool to hurt Obi-Wan. Using a person that way was the worst form of cruelty. Satine had been a person, and her death wasn't just a loss for Obi-Wan. It was a loss for so many more. She'd been a child on this world. Like other children, she'd taken her first step, uttered her first word, laughed and chased flitters in the tall grass of the Mandalorian plains. She'd learned to read, made friends, suffered hurts, recovered and laughed again. And she'd become a leader. She should have lived to see her world thrive, to see her people find peace, to prosper, to make music and art. She should have grown old and been able to look back on all she'd achieved.

"But in a split second, Maul had ended all that. He'd extinguished a light in the universe and replaced it with shadow. Such an act was truly the definition of the dark side. And Obi-Wan burned with rage.

"With the rage came a vision: Eyes smoldering with hatred. Screams in the red glare of a lightsaber.

"Obi-Wan would cleave Maul in two. He would do much worse. There would be nothing left of him. Or the Dathomirian. Or the commandos, those Mandalorian traitors. He would kill them Almec. He would kill anyone who'd had a hand in overthrowing Satine, anyone who'd contributed to her death.

"And he would kill anyone who tried to stop him. Anyone who stood in his way, by word or by deed.

"Anyone.

"Maul laughed. "And now we see the true Obi-Wan Kenobi. The one he hides behind a mask of wit and charm. The one who yearns to be set free."

"And if Obi-Wan gave in to his desires, he'd be giving Maul exactly what he wanted."

So overall this just aligns with the episode. Although I do think Maul's additional taunt in this is so in character for him (and it'd be hilarious if it weren't for the entirety of the situation that Maul describes Obi-Wan as witty and charming). Although it's interesting just how close Obi-Wan came to falling. And ofc this passage really just hammers home the point that Maul wanted for Obi-Wan to fall to the dark side rather than wanting to kill him.

Anyways. The passage I've been dying to point out as an avid Obimaul shipper is the following:

"You can kill me, but you will never destroy me," Obi-Wan said, trying to keep his anger under control. "It takes strength to resist the dark side. Only the weak embrace it."

"It is more powerful than you know."

"And those who oppose it are more powerful than you'll ever be."

There was still a chance to turn this right. He could not overpower Maul, but maybe he could reach him. Maybe he could match Maul's fury, not with equal fury but with understanding. With sympathy. Maul had not always been this way. He'd had his future stolen from him. He'd been warped by the Force-wielders of Dathomir. He'd been groomed to become a creature of anger and vengeance who stood before Obi-Wan.

"I know where you're from," said Obi-Wan. "I've been to your village. I know the decision to join the dark side wasn't yours. I know the Nightsisters made it for you."

Obi-Wan cringed. The words had not come out as he'd intended. He'd wanted to extend a kindness that Maul perhaps never experienced. But he let his own anger and his own fear infect his words with venom."

And then the scene moves along as seen in the episode.

But phew. I feel like there is so much to unpack here. Obi-Wan trying to reach out for Maul is soooo good. I love that meeting anger with understanding and kindness is the Obimaul trope and this is pretty much that. It's interesting that Obi-Wan aknowledges that he couldn't strike the right tone.

Honestly all of this makes me yearn for the AU where he does reach Maul and maybe I'll even write it myself. Just Maul giving in and opening himself up to said kindness (although the staging might have to be different for that e.g. Maul visiting Obi-Wan in prison as an additional scene before he kills Satine).

This also made me reconsider the Siege of Mandalore. We all know, that Maul at that point of the story is not out to kill Kenobi. And honestly, considering that Maul is hyperaware of Kenobi's emotions in these scene and could possibly also have felt Obi-Wan's "kill 'em sith kindness" impulse, isn't it even more likely, that Maul wanted Kenobi to join him in robbing Sheev of his priced pupil Anakin but also killing Palpatine? I always thought Maul wanted to reveal Sidious to Kenobi and he only adapts his plan because it isn't Obi-Wan that arrives. But with this scene in mind, couldn't it possibly be, that Maul remembered that Obi-Wan once tried to reach out for him and wanted to extend the same gesture with the goal of overthrowing Palpatine? Whilst there is this short moment in "The Son of Dathomir" comic in which Maul and Dooku unite in fighting Kenobi, I feel like after Talzin was also killed by Palpatine Maul was kind of aimless - because in the comic he (unfortunately) has essentially moved from seeing himself as Sidious' tool to being Mother Talzin's tool (he even states the latter directly) - and nothing matters to him as much as overthrowing Sidious in that final arc, because he knows if not now then never. He has foreseen what Sidious and Vader will become and knows this is his last shot to truly hurt Palpatine in any way. And lastly Maul is certainly not that delusional that he'd think he can kill Kenobi and Skywalker alone (which is an interpretation I've seen and honestly just feels wrong at that point)

Essentially I am convinced that Maul wanted to form a sort of alliance with Obi-Wan to overthrow Sidious (The enemy of my enemy is my friend and all that). Maul knows that Obi-Wan knows him better than anyone and I think at the very least he hoped he could convince Obi-Wan of the truth. Additionally Obi-Wan is the only being left in his life Maul has a connection to, who hasn't been killed by Sidious.

All I am saying is that I join the ranks of other anons and blogs as a huge Obimaul enabler.

Wow!! This was so informative and awesome. I don't have that book so I appreciate the run down A LOT! And will probably save this as reference point tbh.

I don't really have anything to add other than thank you for sharing with me, and that I think you absolutely should write an AU where Obi-Wan is able to reach Maul. How that would play out and what happens when they do is a delicious thought.

[akkalafuru]

Let’s talk about today.

Today I was involved in drama. Yes. I know. Surprisingly, that’s not a common thing in my life (at least not that I’m aware of—unless I’m the subject matter of a conversation that I never heard of or participated in. Does that count?) All this situation made me reflect a little bit on how I've been approached in today's discussion and I think it deserves to be addressed.

I honestly don't even know where to start... Anyway. 

Yes. I agree that harassments, bullying, threats to an author are absolutely inexcusable and unjustifiable. It many countries they're considered a crime and the offender must deal with legal consequences. So Yes! It’s wrong and not supported by me. PERIOD.

It is also true the fact that authors should get criticisms/audience feedback in order to sense where their next steps should be, especially in a serialized franchise (which yeah, it can be a curse but also an opportunity). Even if your favorite author may not change their story main plot, it's quite naive to believe they wouldn't consider the audience response at all; like never ever.

With that out of the way, the story is that someone wanted to call me out because I replied to Suetsugu's post telling I was upset because of her tweet. Other fans weren't happy either, but I was the only one who mentioned "taichihaya", so I guess i became an easy target. (Also, it's worth comment that the fan-police scrutiny is much harsher and aggressive when it comes to Taichi fans and taichihaya shippers. That’s a fact.) 

My post was not positive, but it can't be considered offensive either. And of course, the same way I was able to express my opinion, others have the same right to do so. I don't think, though, that singling me out, comparing me to actual harassers and bullies, and insulting me, are smart ways to address my or any other situation. The level of response I got was disproportional and extremely rude.

I was also accused of being a repeating offender and infamous for doing that, which puzzled me. I'm curious to know the sources and past proofs because those are very serious accusations. I honestly haven't been aware of this kind of behavior of mine, but if they're true, I need to understand what's going on so I can work on that on myself. As an advice, though, making plain false or baseless accusations only weakens one’s argument, so when accusing someone, they better be true.

And with this out of the way, I want to address some other points that I cannot let go of. 

I understand that we're all behind screens. All we see are profile pictures, nicknames and a bunch of text. But behind each account ( I’m not counting bots and fakes here) there's a person with actual feelings and their own circumstances. Unfortunately, the internet allows for the dehumanization of the "others", resulting in situations where the lack of respect is too evident. 

Going back to the drama part, as soon as I started the conversation, I was said "if you can't see your mistake, I won't waste my time with you" and then I was blocked after a couple of exchanges. What's the reason of calling someone out if they want to immediately cut off the communication? If this person was face to face to me, would they talk to me like that? If I am that waste of a time, why summon me to this situation to begin with? 

The words used were very rude and if I was in a vulnerable mental state, I would definitely take them more than personally and start questioning my self-worth. That’s a personal attack and a very destructive one. If anyone receives a response like that, please (PLEASE!) understand that it’s not about you! That’s a defense mechanism people use to mask their own weak arguments! Not only that, it also sounds entitled af.

I also understand that many people want to take action and show service for their causes and beliefs, and I'm very admired by that pro-activeness. There's definitely value when it comes to bringing change in the world to move our society to a better path. However, the ability to discern the actual threat/harm and make a proper judgement are as important as acting on it. That’s why actions should be taken with purpose and reason after proper evaluation and reflection about a situation.

In theory, it’s easy to tell the difference between what’s right or wrong as we get a lot of black-and-white examples; in reality, there are a lot more grays than one expects. This person was absolutely convinced they were right, and that’s fine. Again... it’s their right to believe so. It’s a shame they weren’t open for dialogue and basically treated me as the unredeemable, unforgivable perpetrator for something I didn’t do (?), throwing unfounded accusations after accusations at me; in addition to pointing fingers exclusively at me because I mentioned my preference, which seems to offend them.

At the end of the day, I believe that I at least have the right to express my take on this mess and my view on this person. I thought their judgement was poor and their action was extremely offensive. They lacked maturity, reason and critical sense. This situation was embarrassing, humiliating and completely unnecessary. Calling someone out just for the sake of calling them out without expecting or foreseeing a counter-argument is naive, plain stupid and immature. Giving a “last” word before blocking someone doesn’t automatically grant any victories to any arguments. So... I’m sorry if your attempt to “own” me failed.

I don’t care if people are frustrated or has a lot of time in their hands, but if it’s the latter, at least go find something useful to do instead of wasting everyone’s time by trying to give hot takes online in exchange of likes. All these attempts to make justice with your own hands—by exposing others and bringing them involuntarily to your mess—feels like you’re massaging your own ego, especially if you’re not open to communicate, nor educate, nor talk about this in a non-confrontational and rational manner. I was gonna mention cancel culture and online lynching (maybe online inquisition! that sounds pretty fitting!), but let’s not go there. 

I know that I should’ve let that go and not incite drama. However, I had to stop someone from trying to look good in front of their friends (tell more me about virtue-signaling. Ok let’s not go there.) at my expense by exploiting a situation that barely applies to their argument. The more they get away with it, the more they believe it’s right to repeat the same action. The more we become silent, the more they step on us.

Lastly, I don’t want to accuse this person for targeting specifically me for petty reasons. I want to quote this, though:  “tell me who your friends are and I will tell who you are.”

There’s a reason why this saying exists. Let’s leave at that.

Cheers!

[finaledenialist]

Okay I did not want to be annoying but I’m so lost rn pretty please help me out lmao I literally just got back into the fandom after staying away since the beginning of season 15 to avoid spoilers. Absolutely just finished the series like less than an hour ago and I’m getting so much second hand information about that virtual con and everything. What the absolute hell have I missed???

HOW DO I EVEN .. WHERE DO I EVEN START? you watched the finale ONE HOUR AGO?!?!?! My god, one hour after the finale I was a sobbing mess and I almost deleted this whole blog, so I feel obliged to ask: how are you coping? Is everything fine?

Okay, but anyway, first of all: welcome back to the circus! <3 Are you asking what did you miss in general? Or is this specifically about this weekend’s virtual con? I am going to assume you just mean March 5-7th Creation’s Virtual Fan Experience (but if you need any other info, well, I am as goo of a source as anyone else who has been stuck here for years). 

Well, on friday there was a virtual panel with Kim and Briana where they openly talked about various stuff that included shipping Jody with Donna and Claire with Kayah and basically these two are still very attached to the characters and I feel like they are very protective of the Wayward Daughters and stuff. What is interesting though is that later that day Kim Rhodes went on tiktok (? or instagram?) and said that she is happy that she is not censored, so YEAH. 

On saturday there was Mark Sheppard’s panel where he dissed Crowley’s ending and that was the higlight of that; an hour later there was Misha’s panel where he literally talked about nothing except for that one time he answered a question about ‘what animal would Cas have’ and he said that it would be a cat, more specifically, a hairless cat, which made everyone freak out because a few weeks ago there was a massive amount of posts circulating on tumblr about Cas and Dean adopting, specifically, a hairless cat, so this only fueled the theory that Misha has a secret tumblr, but we kind of been knew. He also said that Godstiel was an asshole and we were like, no sweetie, he wasn’t <3 

And then, the main course, the J2 panel on sunday, which was... Well. Which was a big win for the bibros and wincest shippers. Not to mention panel started late, but ok, there was 10 minutes of incoherent rambling about hair, fine. Then at some point they did their impresisons of Cas (yay he was mentioned thank you bless u j2 for your kindness *sarcasm*), also the questions were so heavily and badly filtered that they were sent a question from the day before that started with ‘Hey Misha’ lmao. 

There was also a finale question that Jensen kind of tried to dodge (at least that is what some people think, because he said that he was sent a different question than Jared? which is impossible but ok) and this is basically the core of the drama, it started with something like ‘what Sam and Dean are doing in heaven’ and Jensen said that ‘driving, visiting mom and dad, but Dean would find it boring after some time and would ask Jack to bring them back to earth and this is where the streaming services reboot starts’, yes, he did use the word ‘reboot’ and ‘streaming services’ which then led to him taling about his production company, Chaos Machine, and it fueled the rumours going on in this fandom since before the finale that Jensen will reboot Supernatural or at least shoot additional 6 episodes (rumour started by Jensen himself, who said that he would want to do it). 

But then. Then they were talking about the actual ending and of course we know Jared’s opinon, he loved the finale, ok, thank you for your input Jared, but Jensen who literally didn’t speak about the finale since... Since never, he said that, and I am quoting from memory, that ‘it was a proper way to go’ - and he said that about Dean’s death, which he wasn’t okay with before and this - Jensen and his feelings about the finale - is a whole other can of worms that I am not going to open now. But he said what he said and then he said that if one of them had to die then yes, it should have been Dean because he wouldn’t be able to cope with losing Sam meanwhile Sam was still able to start a life of his own without Dean and this is mainly why everyone (as in, the non-bibro community) was angry yesterday, because some people say that what he said makes sense in context but for me it doesn’t, sorry Jensen. 

Another reason why people were angry yesterday was that Cas barely gets a mention anymore meanwhile *gestures vaguely* 15x18 happened, we didn’t hallucinate it, there is still stuff that remains unexplained to why he wasn’t in the finale, but this is long enough so I won’t get into it, but the result of that anger is #CastielMatters trending for 8 hours now on twitter, so

So. This was the last 4 days, do you need any more info, clarification? 

[calicosol-blog]

Couch Recycling Near Me

Affordable Sustainable Furniture

Will the tropical leaf print pads that are at present on your sofa end up in the garbage close by the high difference chevron throw you had three years earlier? In case speedy furniture continues to climb as quick as fast plan has, the fitting reaction is yes.

As demonstrated by EPA estimations, in excess of nine tons of furniture and home adornments ended up in landfills in 2015. In an ideal world, all purchaser product would be financially created and sensible. Regardless, that isn't the world we live in. Is it really marvelous for buyers to overextend themselves financially for being green? Where might it be a smart thought for us to stand firm and it is practical to find adjust?

Speedy Fashion To Fast Furniture

In prior numerous years, unbelievable game plans on furniture could be found in stores (plausible with the word discount in the name) that sold the whole room. Groups would consolidate a love seat, loveseat and ottoman for a low, minimal expense. They'd even throw in a free game plan of lights. However, that is as of now not stand-out.

Progressed

A couple of fast style retailers have parlayed their reputation into the home market. An extraordinary outline of this is Zara Home, which offers lots of sharp engineer complex subject dupes for each room in the home. They also have a confined assurance of furniture including irregular tables and seats.

Nevertheless, individual European fast plan retailer H&M has a substitute technique. They don't offer any decorations, yet have a greater assurance of expressive topic and embellishments. There are a couple of lines inside the home grouping including Conscious, which features things like cushions made of sensible regular cotton. In all honesty, the brand's greater target is to use absolutely 100% reused or other sensibly sourced materials by 2030.

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Wayfair Gets On Board

Wayfair has reliably offered a plan of things in each worth reach from sofas under $200 to more than $27k from its upscale picture Perigold. In June, they dispatched Hashtag Home, which is expressly displayed as speedy style. The line has furniture and additional items for each room in snappy, electronic media pleasant tones. It's a splendid, serious, and certified move for the brand.

Buyers are adequately canny to understand that the modest pieces they're presumably going to gather themselves with little screwdrivers most likely will not go to their next apartment suite, never mind their grandchildren. So why envision something different?

They Don't Make It Like They Used To

It's fair to say that various Millennials and intelligent some of Generation Z put adequate energy in the receiving area with Dad's old seat or a sofa that never really ought to have been displaced. However, it will likely be a substitute story for their children. "[Furniture] is ending up being more unnecessary than collectible and that infers pieces are not a lot of made enough to be given over through ages," says inside originator Barbara Schmidt of Studiobstyle.

Comparative as style, it's not hard to find sensible variations of designer styles. "The most stuck and popular styles are introduced by shippers more affordable, speedier and with less quality than any time in ongoing memory. As an organizer, I see emphasess of expensive plans in the critical chain retailers almost as fast as a new prevailing fashion hits Pinterest," she says.

Schmidt feels it is imperative that clients, makers, organizers, and producers look for eco-obliging, ethically and financially sourced things. "For sure, even with these undertakings, we continue to contemplate whether it's adequate to help the environment and slow ecological change. I'm a significant protector of reusing pieces and upcycling furniture to give them new life. This is the truly viable furniture that I need to focal point for my clients."

Schmidt takes however much honest conviction as could reasonably be expected, by reusing building materials, furniture, establishments and whatever else that can be repurposed. She in like manner gives supporting additional arrangement materials like models, divider covers, surfaces and tile to subject matter experts.

The Need For Fast Furniture

While various furniture purchases are necessities, need is moreover a factor, especially when families need to consume a greater space, explains Brian Sheehan, displaying overseer of Hollingsworth. "In this current reality where home credits are growing, people are at this point moving starting with one space then onto the next and require new furniture to oblige their spaces," he says. "With a compelling stock organization, people are less disposed to move furniture starting with one home then onto the next. Taking everything into account, it is more profitable to sell/dispose of something and override it with refreshed furnishings."

Sheehan sees while this may not be magnificent for the environment, it justifies communicating that 13% of Hollingsworth's stockrooms are involved by speedy decorations. As much complement as we put on sensibility, when in doubt, fast furniture isn't vanishing any time soon.

Alternatives Approaches

Enrollment models are one decision to speedy furniture that is on the climb. New organizations, for instance, Fernish and Feather have reiterated the rental business offering smooth pieces from outstanding retailers. While the typical family isn't their customer, people who are in transitory life stages are.

The used furniture market is furthermore prospering in different ways. Numerous people are buying and selling more noteworthy pieces used through Facebook Marketplace as an alternative rather than Craigslist.

Kaiyo is another web based business place that sells just utilized pieces. They say they've kept in excess of 800,000 pounds of furniture out of landfills.

In June 2019, Poshmark dispatched The Home Market. While furniture isn't open yet, a collection of home supplement characterizations including bedding, shower embellishments and divider craftsmanship are.

Security

While the biological impact of fast furniture is clear, that isn't the fundamental issue. Eugene Kim, who is the originator of home equipping brand Dims says there are issues to consider. "Most furniture is made with the most economical possible culminations and pastes, which (as anybody may expect) suggests they release risky fume and poisons," he says.

Reduces uses premium Greenguard confirmed fruitions and pastes on all of their wood things since they satisfy exhaustive rules for low releases of hazardous manufactured substances. "These materials do cost even more anyway as furniture makers, we trust it's a simple choice that the furniture we make should not adequately hurt our customers," Kim explains.

Just as ending up in landfills, designed strands in materials can be hazardous in substitute ways, says Armadillo and Co prime ally Sally Pottharst. "Armadillo and Co deliberately sidesteps designed fibers as a result of how virgin created materials are delivered utilizing oil based goods, which remove tremendous proportions of energy to isolate oil from the start to make."

Finding Balance

So how does the typical individual find balance? Mulling over impression is one philosophy. Generally, the greater a thing is, the more sensible it should be. For those on a tight spending plan, things that don't ought to be solid like irregular tables, feature seats and elaborate format can be purchased financially. Then, pick phenomenal sofas, beds, devouring tables, etc

It's moreover possible to find pieces absolutely strong at a reasonable expense. Kyle Hoff, Co-Founder of Floyd, started the brand to find that reasonable trade off. "You can make a thing out of reused materials the whole day, yet on the off chance that it's something tossed out a year sometime later, what advantage is that? In any case quality materials and being deliberate concerning how our things are created, we think one with regards to the best differentiators is genuinely arranging the thing to be kept. That suggests you assemble and destroy it."

The brand's furniture is arranged with parts that are useful, so if something breaks later on, simply a section ought to be superseded.

Hoff furthermore acknowledges that style can be fundamental for practicality. "While most furniture associations are revolved around this current season's lounge chair, Floyd is going through years culminating a thing that we'll stay behind for a serious long an ideal opportunity to come, a fundamental factor in the circumstance of making an ever-enduring piece."

[echodrops]

Why You Should Be Shipping Shigaraki/Ochako

No, no, hang on a second--I see that side-eye you are throwing hard enough to ruin your peripheral vision. I feel the shade you’re casting like a thundercloud rolling in. But you didn’t read wrong. I meant what I said.

I’ve never made a secret of my love for rare pairs, but for once in my damn lonely shipper’s hellscape of a life I would love it if my favorite crack ship in a fandom had more than two fics (I’m NOT JOKING) to its name.

What can I do to correct this egregious oversight before the entire summer passes with nary a whisper of the most romantic ship since Juliet wherefore art thou’d Romeo?

Well, what else? I was forged in the fires of early 2000s’ fandom, and I know that desperate times call for desperate measures meticulously researched and extremely rose-tinted

Shipping Manifestos.

Fam, I am about to blow your minds, align your chakras, open your third eyes--because Shigaraki and Ochako is the most slept on ship in the entire BNHA fandom, and if you give me ten minutes like an hour (holy shit, this is long), I can prove it.

Disclaimer: @mistystarshine is the enabler who convinced me to write this but we were both enabled by @ohmytheon’s Reconfigure (on AO3) so you know who’s really responsible.

Spoilers to Chapter 231, watch out.

First off, I know what you’re thinking. Maybe you’re still reading from pure shock. Maybe you’re doubt-reading to get your daily fix of internet skepticism. Maybe you’re waiting for me to say these two characters are meant to be because she wears pink and his hair is blue. Maybe you’re already freaking out about age gaps but like that is what future fics and AUs are actually for!!!

I’m not telling you to give up your IzuOcha or Kacchako. I’m not gonna pry ShigaDabi out of your eager little villain stan hands. But if you’ve never considered multi-shipping, now is the time my friends, because I’m totally serious heartfelt here! I’ve got VALID reasons for shipping Shigako--ten of them, in fact:

1) Midoriya is taken for granted as Uraraka’s love interest--but Shigaraki is incredibly similar to him.

There are reams of meta on the parallels between Midoriya and Shigaraki, with plenty people noting how Horikoshi specifically set the two up as foils to examine similar character development despite their drastically different circumstances. Yet for all the meta pointing out that Shigaraki and Midoriya are basically the same character through a mirror darkly, I’ve never seen anyone bear that thought out to its logical conclusion: there are traits Uraraka admires in Midoriya that are extremely apparent in Shigaraki too.

Multiple times in the manga, Uraraka expresses admiration for Deku’s resolve and refusal to give up. His determination in the face of impossible odds and his sense of dedication to his cause are powerful motivating factors in Ochako’s storyline, and Deku’s behavior--his willingness to charge straight into danger and his unflinching pursuit of his goal to be #1--have basically become the standard to which Uraraka holds herself.

Her crush is literally founded on an appreciation for Midoriya’s drive, earnestness, and constant growth as a person.

But these are all traits that Shigaraki also explicitly possesses. Shigaraki’s unwavering resolve is so strong that even though everyone around him says dream is unattainable... they follow him anyway.

Ujiko flat out tells Shigaraki he’s chasing a pipe dream, but he’s willing to come along for the ride strictly because of how committed Shigaraki is to making that dream a reality. The strength of Tomura’s conviction alone persuaded a collection of the most volatile and difficult personalities in the manga to band together and become found family the most well-known anti-establishment organization in all of Japan.

Shigaraki never, even in the face of overwhelming threat, backs down from a challenge, and he approaches each impossible task with absolutely as much effort, ferocity, and refusal to quit as Deku. He is just as dedicated, just as much of a shounen protagonist main character, and just as willing to push himself above and beyond as Deku.

The traits that motivated Uraraka to become the character she is today, many of the exact same traits that formed her crush on Midoriya, are all there in Shigaraki. In another world, the person who inspired Uraraka to go “Plus Ultra” could be Tomura himself, and if 1) no sense of self-preservation, 2) ZERO CHILL, and 3) dogged obsession are what Uraraka finds attractive, Shigaraki clearly has 'em covered. Oh no, he’s meeting all my standards.

2) Being serious though, Ochako’s role in the plot would be vastly improved by more meaningful interactions with the antagonists, even if just in battle.

I’ve written before about how badly the writing of BNHA treats Ochako, and why her constantly being out-of-focus is a hallmark of the genre’s crippling inability to handle dynamic female characters, but it bears repeating: in her current position in the story, Uraraka’s character has minimal agency. She exists to fill the role of Deku’s love interest (at worst) and an emotional crutch (at best). Again, absolutely no hate on the IzuOcha ship--it’s clearly canon endgame and “wholesome” I guess is what they’re calling it nowadays. But the way IzuOcha’s being written in canon is actually the worst possible thing that could happen to Uraraka’s individual character, because Ochako’s crush on Deku has been given virtually no bearing on the story’s main plot and allows Horikoshi to consistently reduce Uraraka’s personal accomplishments to “inspirations from Deku” (in order to, likely, fulfill young male readers’ fantasy of having a girl fixated on them).

Is Uraraka about to do something cool in the manga? Wait for her comment about being motivated by Deku.

Does Uraraka actually get to see some action and get involved in a fight? Wait for someone to bring up her feelings for Deku.

Is Deku about to have a dramatic clash with the story’s villains to advance the main plotline? Wait for Ochako to entirely vanish (at worst) or get sidelined into a three panel clip where she’ll use the same martial art move she’s been using since like chapter 10 (at best).

If I have to read “Gunhead Martial Arts” one more fucking time... Give Ochako her OWN supermoves goddammit!!

The story of the comic itself continually pushes Ochako out of any position of relevance. She’s not one of UA’s strongest fighters (despite having a quirk that, if applied like ANY of the male characters, has incredible potential), she’s not given half the emotional depth or attention even side characters like Kirishima get, and her backstory lacks the development many of the male characters’ get (I’m looking at you, Todoroki).

As a “good girl,” she isn’t allowed to get her hands dirty like Toga, she isn’t allowed to get as bloodied or ugly as any of the boys, and she can never be allowed to surpass the main male characters in coolness or plot relevance because girls can be “heroes” but they can’t be The Hero™. (I’m literally gagging, guys.)

Which is EXACTLY why a plot involving Shigaraki and Ochako--in ANY capacity, even just a flat out fight against each other!--would actually be a fan-fucking-tastic addition to BNHA.

Skip the token Toga vs. Ochako chick fight where they squabble over who loves Izuku more. Let Toga talk to Izuku as herself for once. Let Uraraka throw down with the League’s leader. At least once, Horikoshi? Just once?

Literally any form of plot that puts Shigaraki and Ochako into contact would mean moving Uraraka into a more central position within the manga’s plot, would boost her screen-time, increase the likelihood of her contributing to the story’s primary conflict, and would give her more to do and emotionally engage with than just repeating the same lines about Deku being amazing on an endless loop. There is untapped character development potential in spades here if Uraraka was given chance to genuinely interact with the other half of the story’s cast!

Give👏 Uraraka👏 something👏 meaningful👏 to do!👏

Putting the story’s foremost female character on out there on the frontlines with the manga’s actual main character antagonist would finally break her out of the mold she’s been forced into by genre stereotypes and set her on an even playing field with the male heroes at last.

A meaningful encounter with Shigaraki could be Ochako’s ticket to being treated respectfully by the story itself (and hell if giving underappreciated characters a real place in the world isn’t Tomura’s freakin’ calling card already).

3) Okay, I know the words “subverting expectations” leave a bad taste in everyone’s mouth nowadays, but there is a huge difference between “throwing inexplicable plot twists at the audience just for shock factor” and “averting stale cliches in an emotionally rewarding manner.” Sure, cliches do exist for a reason, but there are still many instances where actively avoiding a cliche plotline is a great choice. A shounen manga’s token love interest ending up with someone other than the hero--namely with a (reformed) villain--would be an interesting flip on the trite “hero gets the girl” script.

Look, we all know how it goes: Hero clashes with Bad Guy. They duke it out all over Kingdom Come. RIP like fifty square city blocks. The Hero wins, heads home triumphant, sweeps his Princess off her feet, and sails off into the hero rankings sunset. End of the same story we’ve seen a million times. Sometimes it’s done well and the audience is left satisfied. Other times, the heroine involved is reduced to the hero’s reward, less person than wish fulfillment. In either case, tying up a romantic subplot with a hero is the go-to way of resolving female characters’ storylines and, at this point, pretty much a given in manga, even when the romantic subplot is never given the development it deserves, leaving audiences bewildered at how and why the hook-up actually happened.

I’m not saying every comic should “subvert expectations” and cancel its romantic subplot between the hero and heroine, of course not. But I am saying that it would be pretty refreshing to see something else for once.

By virtue of their role, villains don’t usually “get the girl.” Even redeemed villains rarely end up in happy, healthy, well-written relationships. It’s not impossible but it is unlikely that a series’ designated female lead ever wavers in her attentions from the main hero to a new romantic target.

So it would be pretty cool if one did, if the moral of the story’s romantic subplot wasn’t just "token love interest completes painfully shoehorned romantic gestures.” A good romance with a redeemed ex-villain instead of a hero would take a lot more explanation. It would demand, by its very nature, more work on the author’s part to suspend disbelief. The characters would have to develop an entirely different rapport from the normal interactions between designated love interests, and, to a certain extent, strong character growth would be required in order for such a romance to even get started. There’s more moral complexity and conflict to a subplot like this, and a greater sensation of choice--if the heroine doesn’t have to end with the hero by the end of the story, well hey... That means she could end up with just about anyone. Whoa.

Even more so, in the specific case of Shigaraki, who has lived a life of misery and manipulation, the idea that he could come out on the other side, grow as a person, redeem himself, and eventually enter a healthy relationship with someone who isn’t going to hurt him is an idea I find deeply appealing. I think there are a lot of villain stans, myself included, who see parts of themselves in Shigaraki. If a character who has been so severely impacted by abuse can still heal and ultimately end up happy, to me, that’s a far more hopeful and heart-warming conclusion than the alternatives. I did warn you this manifesto would be rose-tinted, didn’t I?

I want storylines that prove that none of us are beyond saving. That people who make bad choices can still change. That romance isn’t a reward for playing the “right” role. That heroines have options. That there are still pleasant surprises to be found in romance plots.

4) But why Shigaraki and Ochako, in particular? It’s not like they have any remotely shared life experiences--

Oops. Friendly reminder: Ochako is the only major character in the manga besides the villains who is overtly described as, I quote, “poorer than poor.” Todoroki, Yaomomo, and Iida can all make it rain; Kaminari, Mina, and Jirou can afford stylish clothes; Kirishima can drop a stupid amount on night vision googles... Even Midoriya, whose father “works overseas,“ can afford plenty of All Might merchandise. One of the popular fandom theories for a while was that Ochako could be U.A.’s traitor specifically because of her desire to help her parents financially, and I think that most readers at this point can discern a clear divide in BNHA’s society: heroes are the “haves” and villains are the “have nots.” To be a hero in this story is to attend a prestigious school, have access to expensive support items, gear, insurance, fame and glory, etc.

Meanwhile, with the exception of All For One, to be a villain in BNHA’s story is to be marginalized, live in unfit conditions, lack access to basic safety and nutritional resources, and struggle to make ends meet. When ability to thrive in a hero-centric society is synonymous with being a good and worthwhile person, anyone who doesn’t just naturally excel in the hero-driven economy is treated as flawed at best and suspect at worst. Poor characters in the story are ignored, and, as demonstrated with people like Twice, left essentially to fend for themselves.

Uraraka’s status as lower income is mostly played for laughs. She’s still a privileged character in that she can attend U.A., receive hero items for free, has a safe place to live, etc. But it is important that the story acknowledges her family’s situation, because her financial status does set her apart from her classmates.

She is less privileged than the others. Being “the poor character” situates Uraraka in the interesting divide between those who couldn’t cope and chose to rebel against hero society instead, versus those who conformed to the hero system in an attempt to improve their situations. In different circumstances, if Uraraka’s family was just even the tiniest bit worse off, we might be seeing a very different character here, one who had to make some much harder choices to keep her family afloat.

Having been in the position of "going without,” Uraraka also has a unique understanding of the “real world” that many of her heroics classmates might lack. She understands what it is like to go hungry, to not be able to afford to keep up with the newest trends, to be constantly anxious about the future--to feel unsuccessful, overlooked, and under constant pressure to perform. As someone who wasn’t raised in the lap of luxury or even really a middle-class home, Uraraka has more insight into--and would likely have more empathy for--the plight of the downtrodden daily criminals of the BNHA world. Just based on her own life experiences, Ochako is more likely than her classmates to recognize how harsh reality can be, and understand the temptations that lead people to make terrible decisions.

This makes Ochako an especially interesting character in terms of her pro hero future. Would she be able to sympathize and reach out to struggling "villains” more effectively than others from her class, who lack her humble background? Would she be able to better see the big picture of BNHA’s society, and the way it actively creates villains from its marginalized populations? Would she be able to look at the League not just as criminals, but also as people who never stood a chance within the confines of a rigged social structure?

Uraraka’s background shifts her closer to the story’s villains than many of the other hero characters, and puts her in a unique place to both empathize and become motivated to change the flawed system that produced people like Shigaraki and the League in the first place.

5) Likewise, Uraraka’s background actually makes her more palatable to Shigaraki than other heroes. At least at the beginning of the comic, Uraraka isn’t shy about admitting that one of her reasons for becoming a hero is to help her parents financially. Ochako’s original motivation for heroism isn’t portrayed as nobly as others’ like Deku--Deku has no ulterior motives for being a hero; he just wants to save people and wouldn’t care about personally benefiting.

Instead, Ochako is presented as someone who (initially) sees heroism as a means to an end. It’s not that she doesn’t want to save people, but that she’s not doing so only for the intrinsic worth... the hefty paycheck that comes from heroism is a big draw.

Over time the manga has shown her shifting away from this (which actually makes her character less unique, unfortunately), but I’m sure it’s still a thought for her, and she’s definitely going to send paychecks to her parents in the future. At the end of the day, heroism is still going to be Uraraka’s ticket to a better lifestyle, even if she’s committed herself to it honestly by the time she leaves U.A.

But it’s this exact form of personal motivation that Shigaraki is much more likely to understand than the “goody-two-shoes” motivations of people like Deku. Multiple times in the comic Shigaraki has expressed confusion with society’s habit of clinging mindlessly to symbols, of their blind faith in the virtues of heroism, and their ability to simply overlook suffering because “surely a hero will do something about it.” Stain’s ideals about “true heroes” go straight past Shigaraki, who seems to hate heroes who are earnest (All Might, I’m talking about All Might) far more than those who are simply faking their way through for fame. 

Shigaraki understands humans who are driven by personal gain. He respects the individual desires of people he cares about. Someone in the hero industry explicitly seeking tangible benefits would likely, to Shigaraki at least, come across as more genuine than someone who claims they have no ulterior motives, and a person who is blunt about their needs and grounded in the reality of BNHA’s world would likely be much more acceptable to Tomura than someone who spews trite lines about peace and justice.

Shigaraki’s feelings for heroes have been irreparably damaged by his conditioning from All For One, but there are certainly some heroes that he would find less loathsome than others. He will probably never understand Deku’s selflessness. All Might’s saccharine symbolism actively infuriates him. But a person who became a hero to put food on the table? To provide for her parents (maybe especially because it is her parents she’s trying to provide for)? That’s at least understandable. If the manga’s future does see Shigaraki redeemed, my thought is that the only type of heroes we’ll ever see him willingly interact with would still be heroes just like Ochako, with more “down to earth” personal motivations. Uraraka, your codename is “If I had to date a hero”...

6) While we’re talking about shared life experiences, there’s another very obvious similarity between Shigaraki and Ochako: neither one of them can touch things with all five fingers.

Cute/fridge horror observation: Shigaraki is even daintier about touching things than Uraraka is; Uraraka usually lifts just her pinkies, but Shigaraki frequently uses as few fingers as possible.

Yeah, yeah, they both have to be dainty and careful with everything they hold. It’d be cute to watch them eat together. They could mutually gripe about the annoyance of video game consoles not designed for four-finger use. More than that though, neither one of them can touch other human beings without the risk of causing death.

Uraraka, as a hero, has the more privileged quirk design (she can turn her quirk off, while Shigaraki can’t) and until recently, the comic was always very careful to portray Uraraka’s quirk in a way that no one was endangered by it. But dropping Zero Gravity into the hands of a villain for a single chapter reveals the truth: Uraraka’s quirk has just as much lethal potential as Shigaraki’s.

Like Shigaraki, Uraraka has to face the reality that her touch alone could jeopardize the safety of anyone she comes into contact with, in her daily life and in her hero work. Drop some debris without looking twice? Just crushed a civilian. Release your quirk without thinking? Now the villain you floated is paste on the sidewalk. Thought that it was safe to float away the building? Oops, you crushed someone still trapped inside. Yikes. In a one-on-one battle, Uraraka is actually at a disadvantage not because her quirk is weak, but the dead opposite--in an outdoor fight, she would have to actively work not to accidentally send people off into outer space.

Having an auto-activate touch quirk means that both Shigaraki and Ochako have to be conscious of every single thing they touch all the time. Both of their quirks require constant bodily awareness, and both come with the lurking knowledge that “My touch causes problems.” Even for Ochako, who would merely be a nuisance if she accidentally floated objects indoors, it’s easy to internalize frustration and negative associations with one’s own body. Every day, Ochako has to be careful with herself in a way that few of her peers do, another factor that sets her apart.

One of the story’s overarching themes is the idea of “self-acceptance” and what it even means to “accept yourself” in a world where (almost) every human being possesses a distinguishing feature, often built into their bodies at the expense of standard human functioning. For people with limited control over their quirks, who can’t choose when the effect activates, a quirk is a constant burden and facet of their identity that entirely re-shapes how they interact with the world. Both Shigaraki and Uraraka face the practicality of having burdensome, even lethal, auto-activate quirks that require constant self-awareness. This is a similarity that, of the major characters, only Shigaraki and Ochako possess so far. (Even other major characters with touch-based quirks like Overhaul appear to be able to choose when to activate their quirks).

The “funny” way Shigaraki and Ochako hold things seems like just a small similarity until you remember the amount of practice and frustration it must have taken to internalize a four-fingered touch. Until you remember that this similarity marks them both as very careful and self-conscious characters. Until you remember that Shigaraki’s got a one-touch instakill... but so does Uraraka Ochako.

7) Okay, similarities are cool and all, but you know what they say: opposites attract. And if we’re talking character motivation, there are no cleaner opposites in the entire series. Shigaraki and Ochako are actually even better emotional foils than Shigaraki and Deku, because Ochako’s central motivation is “Make as many people smile as possible” and Shigaraki’s is, literally, “Make it so no one can ever smile again.”

I know I ragged on it earlier, but now I’m going to use it to my full advantage: as the story evolved and characters grew, Ochako’s “true” motivation to become a hero revealed itself: she feels a deep, intrinsic happiness when witnessing the happiness of others. Her desire as a hero is to spread relief, the sense of security that allows people to go about their days smiling. She literally feels happiest when everyone around her is happy.

Even more so than Deku, this casts Uraraka as Shigaraki’s diametric opposite in the story, because Shigaraki’s entire pipe dream goal also hinges on the smiles of others--and how absolutely much he hates them. Shigaraki’s goal is total world destruction because he just resents the happiness of others that fucking much.

On the surface alone it’s more fascinating than the story will probably ever live up to: Ochako, the heroine who wants to spread smiles; Shigaraki, the villain who wants to destroy them. Even if we’re just talking canon, zero romance involved, that would still be an interesting conflict to explore. The story could cover a lot of deeper ground by drawing the comparison between these two characters more directly. It would definitely validate Uraraka being involved in more major plot events, at the very least.

BUT this was supposed to be about shipping, so of course I can’t leave it there, and leaving it there would only be half the story anyway, because nobody is born hating smiles. Everything we’ve seen of Shigaraki’s past so far indicates that he was a kid with a cute dog, a warm relationship with his sister, and an interest in heroes--i.e., a decent life that probably included his own fair share of smiles. Shigaraki’s hatred and resentment are direct products of the traumatic manipulation he suffered at AFO’s hands. He despises the idea that people around him can smile and act upbeat, even when they objectively know villains are lurking all around them. He is actually sick to his stomach at the idea of people blindly putting their faith in heroes, knowing what he does: that heroes often fail, that there are many people who desperately need to be rescued and are instead overlooked. The world failed Shimura Tenko and then had the nerve to keep on smiling without him.

Other people’s smiles represent nothing but the joy, security, love, and peace that Shigaraki Tomura hasn’t experienced since the day his quirk manifested. The sight of any living thing fills Shigaraki with rage because everything bright and beautiful, everything good and calm and kind and soft and warm, is everything that Shigaraki has lost and believes he will never, ever get to experience again.

Shigaraki doesn’t really hate the pure happy smiles of others; he hates the fact that the world has taken away every single thing he ever had to smile about.

It is my belief that Horikoshi is hinting at a redemption arc for Shigaraki, especially as we see the League become closer allies. But Shigaraki can’t be completely redeemed, can’t be persuaded to give up his world-destruction plan, until he can look at the smiles of others without scorn. Until the bright, upbeat attitudes of heroes other people no longer feel like a personal attack. Until he’s happy enough that the happiness of others no longer hurts. Until the weight is lifted.

And I can’t think of any character more obviously suited to helping lift an immense weight than Uraraka, the zero gravity hero who wants nothing more than to spread smiles.

8) Speaking of lifting weights... Kacchako is a popular ship stemming in large part from Bakugou’s refusal to treat Uraraka with kid gloves. He faces her head-on as a real opponent and views her like any other hero hopeful.

As I’ve said before, this is pretty much the most respectfully the series itself has ever treated Uraraka Ochako, and it caught a lot of attention because it was one of the rare occasions that a female pro hero-in-training was really treated as an equal to the male characters. Kacchako shippers had something awesome to work with.

But... You know who else treats women as equals? (Hell, you know who treats literally everyone as equals, from those with mutant quirks to trans people to those with severe mental health issues?) You can say what you want about Shigaraki’s habit of, you know, mass murder, but in terms of viewing others equally and respecting (okay, let’s be real, it’s probably closer to just ignoring) differences, Tomura is about as open-minded as BNHA characters come. The League is an equal opportunity employer.

Unlike actual hero characters, Shigaraki has never once suggested that Toga is incapable of keeping up with any of the male members of the League, and in fact has entrusted her with many of the League’s most dangerous and crucial missions. He explicitly has faith in her ability and skill.

Toga’s right there in the fight against Gigantomachia and the QLA, as much an equal member of the League as anyone else. In terms of gender equality, the villains seem to be light-years ahead of their hero counterparts, and Shigaraki in particular doesn’t discriminate, among his allies or his opponents either. He’s not a “spare the women and children” kind of guy; every hero and villain challenger is treated with equal violence (and equal snark), whether they’re male, female, a long-time pro or a student in training.

In whatever context--canon opponent, AU ally, or a future romantic interest--Shigaraki would take Ochako just as seriously as Bakugou did. If you like Kacchako because Bakugou doesn’t dismiss Uraraka, that same dynamic would be present in Shigako too.

9) And on the topic of Shigaraki and women... It doesn’t feel accidental that every single female character who ever had love for Shigaraki has been taken away from him. A distinct part of Shigaraki’s storyline is that all positive female role models have been systematically removed from his life. He lost his grandmother, a hero he could have looked up to; he lost his mother, who he now has no memory of; he lost the older sister he clearly held dear... All For One’s control over Tomura has always been total, but this particular detail feels especially insidious: was All For One’s spite for Nana so strong that he delighted in deliberately destroying every single relationship Tenko had with women connected to Nana’s legacy? (Or is AFO perhaps just a raging misogynist? Every single one of his known associates is male and he seemed to despise and mock Nana particularly hard...)

In any case, the point I’m trying to make here is that, even ruling love interests out, Shigaraki’s storyline would be enriched by forging a meaningful connection with a female character like Ochako. Acceptance--maybe even some grudging admiration--for a female hero? A fantastic opportunity to show just how different the “villains” are from the discriminatory society that produced them. Supporting friendship while he’s on the road to recovery? A+ way to diversify interactions between the male and female cast. Send a tough girl to Tartarus to question his motives? Nice chance for tense dialogue and some good old noire-esque foe yay. Hostage situation that takes a turn for the surprisingly cordial? Fun way to explore different dynamics and humanize the villains because hey, they treated the “damsel” to dinner shortbread cookies. My god, Shigaraki could even develop some positive sense of rivalry with a woman, for example! The possibilities are endless if you’re actually willing to give female characters a shot!

Being more serious, Tomura’s life has been dramatically marked by the loss of his female family members, and--at least from what we know so far--his entire youth was spent without the presence of reliable friendships, let alone any form of “love” that wasn’t disturbingly fake. Beyond his fragmented memories, he has no models for healthy relationships, romantic or otherwise.

Letting Shigaraki develop to the point that he could form a mutually positive relationship with a female hero character would be extremely cathartic for me as a reader. I don’t mean “rewarding redemption with a last-minute happy ending romance”--I mean actually getting the opportunity to watch Tomura rediscover what it means to be genuinely loved and realize he has the capacity to give love and be happy in return...

Reaching that level of mutual support and closeness--especially with a female pro hero--would be the biggest “FUCK YOU” that Shigaraki could give to All For One, short of, you know, actually killing him.

Shigaraki Tomura has a critical (and deliberate) lack of healthy connections to women. BNHA, coincidentally, has a criminally under-utilized female lead just twiddling her thumbs over here, waiting for a meaningful plotline to be thrown her way.

Sure, putting AFO in prison is cool and all, but have you considered... crushing his pride and legacy of evil by helping the boy he tortured for years learn to love again? I’m just sayin’!

Uraraka Ochako, snatching Shigaraki right the fuck out of AFO’s hands:

10) Basically what the whole thing boils down to is this: Shigaraki Tomura needs a hero.

Don’t mistake my meaning. A lot of “girl meets bad boy” plots end up amounting to “girl becomes emotionally responsible for fixing bad boy’s issues,” and that’s not what I’m gunning for--Shigaraki has to redeem himself because redemption is only meaningful when it stems from the character’s own inner desire to change; I’m not quite rose-tinted enough to buy into the Love Redeems trope myself. I’m definitely not advocating anyone dump Shigaraki Tomura as he is now into Uraraka Ochako’s lap and expect her to turn him from a beast to a beauty. It’s not an unrelated woman’s responsibility to fix a broken man.

But! From a reader’s perspective, I think we can agree: Shigaraki’s redemption cannot be complete until he learns to believe in real heroes. He doesn’t have to like them. He doesn’t have to support hero society. But he has to be able to look at real heroes like Izuku and Ochako and admit that they are doing what’s right--that society is a better place because they are here. Shigaraki’s path to recovery can’t even begin until he’s capable of at least acknowledging that the world has things worth saving in it.

If Horikoshi moves forward with a redemption arc for Shigaraki, it will probably be Deku who Detroit Smashes the message of truly noble heroes into Shigaraki’s head. That’s his job as the resident Warrior Therapist, I suppose. But you know... to me, it might be even more meaningful if Shigaraki’s hero--if the hand that reaches out to rescue him--isn’t The Hero’s™ but just a hero’s. We all know Deku is selfless and good to the core. As All Might’s perfect successor, he really has nothing to prove. It’s everyone else who is in question. It’s the whole rest of hero society that owes Shigaraki Tomura an explanation for the suffering of people like the League’s members. It’s everyone else who needs to prove they can do better--that in the future, there will be no bloody children left abandoned in back alleyways.

Uraraka Ochako’s conviction is to save people. As a female hero who hasn’t lived a privileged life, she’s uniquely situated to think about those who are most often overlooked. In a world where violence begets violence, where only those with strength and flash excel, what a powerful message it would send for the terrifying antagonist to effectively be rescued by someone the story itself has called “a frail girl.” At the end of the day, heroics isn’t supposed to be about mountain-destroying explosions and mach punches--heroics is supposed to be about heart, about reaching out a gentle helping hand, about spreading smiles to those who need them most.

Tomura’s faith in heroes has been brutally stripped from him, and every part of his conflict is tied up intimately with his misdirected hatred: it wasn’t actually heroes who isolated and hurt him--it was villains. In order to move forward, he will have to come to that horrible realization, deal with that means for himself and his place in the world, and recognize the truth: there are goodness and good people in the world. Selfless heroes, those who wouldn’t turn their backs on a crying child, do exist. There are people, even now, who would extend a kind hand to Shigaraki Tomura and do their best to bring a real smile to his face. Because that’s what’s really going on, after all.

Shimura Tenko is still waiting to be saved.

And I know just the person to do it.

[literary-masochism]

Midnight Sun: Chapter One - My Descent Into Madness

(reposted from my blog)

I kind of want to be dramatic and say I have a long, sordid history with Twilight, but I’m not sure that’s accurate. I do have a history, but it is one of pain, tears, and frustration.

I’m a firm believer in reading a ‘bad’ book to form your own opinion on it instead of just believing what you’re told...

The criticisms against Twilight were more than justified.

It took me multiple attempts to get through the first book – The first time I didn’t even finish the first chapter. I loathed Bella Swan from the moment we met her. She whined nonstop, she bitched nonstop, and was instantly so shallow and two-faced to everyone she met that I wanted to punch her in her (at the time) nondescript face.

But I tried again and again and finally finished the series. I remember crying during the Breaking Dawn because nothing was fucking happening and there was so much left in the book and I just wanted it to END.

Then my brain, trying to save me, made me forget everything about what I read. When I realized what had happened, I checked my Goodreads to make sure I did, in fact, read those books and they weren’t just a fever dream sent by the forces of evil to torment me.

As much as I appreciated the attempt, I earned those scars... at least audiobooks are easier to get through, even though I had to pause them to rage, again, at the idiocy.

And now... Now we have Midnight Sun. I believe I skimmed the leaked book but never gave it any real attention... so, of course, the full book gets released the day after my 34th birthday.

Joy.

But it gives me an excuse to try something I always wanted to do: Snarking bad books... because if I have to suffer, you might as well too!

So... without further delay... here is the first chapter, as seen by me, of Midnight Sun.

Chapter 1: First Sight

We open up with Edward being a melodramatic prick about having to go to school and how boring it is.

THIS WAS THE TIME OF DAY WHEN I MOST WISHED I WERE ABLE TO SLEEP.

High school.

Or was purgatory the right word? If there were any way to atone for my sins, this ought to count toward the tally in some measure. The tedium was not something I grew used to; every day seemed more impossibly monotonous than the last.

Followed quickly by how much humans, especially teenagers, suck absolute ass.

When it came to the human mind, I’d heard it all before and then some. Today, all thoughts were consumed with the trivial drama of a new addition to the small student body. It took so little to work them up. I’d seen the new face repeated in thought after thought from every angle. Just an ordinary human girl. The excitement over her arrival was tiresomely predictable—it was the same reaction as one would get from flashing a shiny object at a group of toddlers. Half the sheep-like males were already imagining themselves infatuated with her, just because she was something new to look at. I tried harder to tune them out.

Don’t you just love him already?

This is only the first page... It’s not even a full page... Edward tells us how he tries not to listen to his siblings then tells us exactly what his siblings are thinking.

He shames Rosalie for thinking about how hot she is, but since that’s her only personality trait we ever got in the entire saga (besides bitch), I’m not that worked up over it. She’s hot and she knows it.

Emmett is just thinking about kicking Jasper’s ass which, I feel, is a goal everyone should aspire to because Jasper’s thoughts...

And Jasper was… suffering.

GOOD

Alice mentally calls his name and Edward is kind enough to let us know that it’s just the same as if someone said it out loud... you know, because we’re too dumb to work that out ourselves.

Also, he is so thankful that the name EDWARD has ‘fallen out of style’ in the last few decades.

Alice is worried about Jasper slaughtering everybody within a ten-mile radius because he’s become a literal statue (because Meyerpires are made of stone and this is in no way a ripoff of Anne Rice) and, stupidly, she asks Edward how he’s doing...

I guess Alice forgot she could, you know, SEE INTO THE FUTURE. Because checking to see if your boyfriend is about to go on a murder spree is a telepathy situation.

She relaxed. Let me know if it gets too bad.

I moved only my eyes, up to the ceiling above, and back down.

Thanks for doing this.

YOU CAN SEE THE GOD DAMN FUTURE!

Was it really necessary to experiment this way? Wouldn’t the safer path be to just admit that he might never be able to handle his thirst as well as the rest of us could, and not push his limits? Why flirt with disaster?

YES! WHY?!

For a group of vampires that don’t want to kill humans, so we’re told, they certainly don’t give a fuck if they kill humans.

It had been two weeks since our last hunting trip. That was not an immensely difficult time span for the rest of us. A little uncomfortable occasionally—if a human walked too close, if the wind blew the wrong way. But humans rarely walked too close. Their instincts told them what their conscious minds would never understand: We were a danger that must be avoided.

So... which is it?

Edward thinks about how oblivious the humans around them are and how they avoid the ‘odd-looking’ group.

Okay, if I had to guess, the avoidance has more to do with how fucking weird you are. A group of five incredibly attractive (And yet odd-looking? Sure Meyer) teenagers sitting by themselves with full trays of food that they don’t eat, all while wearing designer clothing. They don’t talk to each other, they barely even look at each other...

That’s fucking weird. THEY’RE WEIRD.

Meyer: They’re either so attractive as to lure their prey in for the kill or they’re so inhuman looking that no one wants to go near them. It can’t be both.

Anyway, a girl walks by and Edward starts frothing at the mouth while he and Jasper get a vampire erection over Jasper imagining MURDERING AN INNOCENT GIRL.

Also, calling her a ‘little girl’ is very creepy in an entirely different way. Just sayin’.

Edward snaps Jasper out of it and Alice lies and says he wasn’t going to slaughter an innocent human being in the middle of the cafeteria.

We had to stick together, Alice and I. It wasn’t easy, being the freaks among those who were already freaks.

Shut the ever-loving-fuck up.

And Alice, ever-so-helpfully, reminds Jasper to think of humans as people... because, you know, they aren’t really. Not compared to vampires anyway.

Someone mentally says the name ‘Edward’ so Edward turns to them as though they had actually called his name. Only it was in his head, not in real life. In case you didn’t catch that. That Edward is telepathic... so he hears thoughts as though they were being spoken to him. That’s why he looked over when someone thought his name.

In case you didn’t understand what was going on.

This is the first time Edward sees Bella and... he gives no fucks. But wait! Turns out it was Jessica Stanley thinking about him, not Bella!

In fact, Jessica thinks Bella is already crushing on all the Cullens.

Good for you, Jessica, not assuming Bella is only after the undead D. Rosalie/Bella shippers thank you.

Edward is relieved Jessica got over her fixation on him (because it’s totally normal for teenager girls to crush on weird-looking weirdos). He then goes on to show he has no idea how teenage girls (or adult women for that matter) work:

What a relief it had been when she’d gotten over her misplaced fixation. It used to be nearly impossible to escape her constant, ridiculous daydreams. I’d wished, at the time, that I could explain to her exactly what would have happened if my lips, and the teeth behind them, had gotten anywhere near her. That would have silenced those annoying fantasies.

That is the exact fantasy most TwiHards were having.

Jessica complains that she doesn’t see why all the boys are looking at Bella, thinking she’s ‘not even pretty’. I know this is supposed to make Jessica unlikable but, you know what? That is a very wounded teenage thought process. It’s immature and turning the blame somewhere else but that’s teenagers in a nutshell.

Edward comments on Jessica’s new obsession with Mike Newton – creepily calling him a child.

There is the implication that Jessica’s not a nice person because she’s being outwardly nice to Bella while bad-mouthing her mentally and... that’s such a Christian mentality: the idea that your thoughts matter as much as your actions. Just putting that out there because, clearly, we can see what Meyer’s opinion on that is… as long as it’s one of the Cullens or Bella doing the thinking, it’s fine! In Twilight, Bella was putting down everyone who looked at her until the hideously beautiful Edward was so mean to her.

No, I didn’t forget that shit.

Jessica continues being a teenager girl, hoping that with Bella’s ever-shining light of beauty shining beside her that maybe Senpai Mike will notice her.

And, of course, Edward is an asshole because he’s upset that a teenager girl has teenage thoughts.

He tells Emmett what’s going down with the new girl and tries to listen in on Bella’s thoughts to see what she thinks about all this.

And, because Bella doesn’t actually have thoughts, all Edward hears in the unending howling void.

Edward tells us he has to use his powers to protect his family! He has to listen to everyone’s thoughts in case anyone gets suspicious about the beautiful/weird/attractive/repulsive family in their midst.

I feel like that would be easier if Edward didn’t actively try to ignore everyone.

But sometimes people get it right and the Cullens have to disappear before... I don’t know. Meyerpires are indestructible by humans to the point that they can outrun nuclear bombs. The Vultori might come whine at them for exposing the secret but by that point, the Cullens disappearing would just draw even more attention.

Edward tries to listen to the new girl but gets nothing. He turns to check and all he can see is the brown-void eyes of Bella.

There’s also a bit in there where Edward wonders if Bella is still sitting there because she must be since Jessica is still talking. He turns and sees Bella still sitting there because of course she is, because Jessica is still talking to her. You see, Bella was still there and Edward suspected as much as Jessica was still talking to her because she was still sitting there.

He gets another hard-on as Bella blushes. He comments that she “looked surprised” as she “unknowingly absorbed the signs of subtle differences between her kind and mine.”

Bitch, you don’t know that. You can’t read her fucking thoughts. You’re just assuming this bullshit. This is some of what I remember from skimming the first Midnight Sun. You just make up shit about her personality to suit what you want! Reality is completely optional.

And we get this:

[...] as she listened to Jessica’s tale; and something more… Fascination? It wouldn’t be the first time. We were beautiful to them, our intended prey.

You know, the hyper attractiveness that turns people away because of how odd-looking they are but also draws people to them while also making people avoid them because they’re so inhuman.

And yet, though her thoughts had been so clear in her odd eyes—odd because of the depth to them—I could hear only silence from the place she was sitting. Just… silence.

Yes, because she’s the void personified.

Try and keep up.

Edward decides that he’s just not trying hard enough and stops blocking out all the teenager chatter – you know, the chatter he constantly listens to to ensure the safety of his family? That chatter.

Also, shout out to Ashley Dowling for obviously having a crush on Bella.

Angela Weber is the only one not thinking about Bella. I’m sure Meyer’s just trying to show how ‘unusually kind’ she is but... acting like a completely normal person doesn’t really qualify as being ‘unusually kind’.

Then Meyer, again, tries too hard to make Jessica unlikable by having her mentally calling Bella an idiot for asking about Edward Cullen. But since Bella is an idiot...

We get the infamous “He’s gorgeous, obviously.” line even though all of student body finds the Cullens odd-looking and want nothing to do with them.

And Edward gets this strong impulse to protect Bella from Jessica’s nefarious plots to... get mildly more popular for the short time people care that there’s a new student at school. He describes how fragile Bella looks and how translucent her skin is...

Then we get this little gem where Meyer, apparently, forgot Edward can’t read Bella’s mind while describing things he’d only know if he could read her mind.

It was unbelievably frustrating! I could easily see that it was a strain for her to sit there, to make conversation with strangers, to be the center of attention. I could sense her shyness from the way she held her frail-looking shoulders, slightly hunched, as if she was expecting a rebuff at any moment.

This is a one-way street, Meyer. Edward has to stay his ass in his own lane.

Edward informs us that, despite not being able to hear Bella’s thoughts, he’s not going to let himself get too interest in them just because they’re hidden from him... then immediately says he’s going to find out what she thinks no matter what it takes. No matter how petty, trivial, self-absorbed, whiny, and shallow they are! He will find out!

Emmett interrupts Edward’s obliviousness to his own faults and asks if Bella is afraid of them yet.

“They sit by themselves, never talk to anyone, and stare at the wall.” Absolutely terrifying.

Lunch is over and the Cullens to go their classes. Edward is an asshole prepared to be bored because he’s so much smarter than the biology teacher.

He also tells us the reason he has a table to himself is because everyone is avoiding him and they were too stupid to know why. Yes, that is the word he uses.

Such a Prince Charming, isn’t he?

Again, Edward laments his inability to sleep when Angela leads Bella into class! Then Edward remembers he was totally thinking about Bella just now and not wishing he was asleep!

Also, Angela? Shut up.

The Void comes in and Edward still can’t hear her and, in one of the few moments I like, he worries that he’s losing his gift. Don’t worry, nothing comes out of that thought.

Edward notes that the only available seat is beside him so he clears a bit of room for her, feeling sorry that she’s doomed to spend so much time next to his hideousness. BUT THEN!

Bella Swan walked into the flow of heated air that blew toward me from the vent.

Her scent hit me like a battering ram, like an exploding grenade. There was no image violent enough to encompass the force of what happened to me in that moment.

Now comes a page long description of Edward losing his shit. He tells us, multiple times, how much he wants to eat her, how he’ll have to get rid of the witnesses, blah blah blah. It’s basically the same paragraph repeated a few times... But you know what? It’s better than the whiny shit we’ve been getting and it’s nice to actually see the ‘good’ vampires struggle in a not completely idiotic way... so I ain’t that mad at it.

I was actually enjoying it a bit until Meyer stuck her dumb in my chocolate by having Edward rip a bit of wood off the desk. Like no one would have heard that. Or wonder why there’s a pile of sawdust under Edward’s desk.

Edward... I know that you’re far older than anyone in that room but... calling people children is just fucking creepy. Stop.

He calculates the best way to slurp Bella up and kill witnesses in the most efficient way (interrupted occasionally by an eye-roll worthy melodramatic thought about murdering innocents). I would like this if it wasn’t such a stark reminder of how Edward doesn’t actually give two fucks about humans – he just doesn’t want to disappoint his Not-Dad... who, from what we’ve seen in the guide (shudder) doesn’t really seem to care either as long as he’s not the one doing the murdering. They don’t kill people not because they care or want to protect them but because Dad said not to.

Bella sits down beside him (And he’s absolutely sure she’s terrified of him though she’s shown no sign of that and HE CAN’T READ HER THOUGHTS.)

Anyway, he whines that now he has to kill her for existing.

This is another little plothole that bothers me: he doesn’t have to stay in the classroom. He can ask to be excused, say he’s feeling sick or he has to use the bathroom. Yeah, it would draw a few moments of attention but, you know, IT’S BETTER THAN PLOTTING THE MURDER OF THIRTY PEOPLE.

Meyer decides to call me out on that thought and claims:

Every life in this room was in danger while she and I were in it together. I should run. I wanted to run, to get away from the heat of her next to me, and the punishing pain of the burning, but I wasn’t one hundred percent sure that if I unlocked my muscles to move, even just to stand, I wouldn’t lash out and commit the slaughter I’d already planned.

Fuck you, he only needs to resist for the half-a-dozen seconds it’d take to get out of the room. But no, he’d rather try and resist for an hour instead.

He, again, talks about Bella’s skin and calls it ‘See-through’.

Sexy

Edward’s becomes increasingly paranoid that Bella’s ‘trying to hide her secrets from him’.

Chillax, Eddie. She ain’t that deep.

He changes tactics. He’ll try to get her alone and his plan for this is flawless!

If he asks to walk her to her next class, she has to be polite and say yes! Even though he’s certain she’s terrified of him (because he completely fails at reading human reactions if he can’t read their minds), she’ll have to do the polite thing! Because reasons!

While he doesn’t realize how stupid that is, he does notice that everyone with an interest in ladies is already obsessing over Ms. Swan so people will probably notice him leading her away like the serial killer he is.

So he plots to wait until she gets home to murder her.

And you guys, he just hates her so much! I mean, he hates himself but he hates her for making him hate himself but also her because she exists but also himself but also her but also himself...

And apparently that was his entire thought process for the next hour because class is suddenly over!

Edward runs out of the room – you know, the thing he said he couldn’t do before because even just moving might prompt him to murder everything – and mopes in his car where he realizes that ‘Wait... I don’t have to do the thing’.

He wonders why Alice didn’t break their cover and draw attention to themselves by barging into Edward’s class to help him get rid of either his murder-boner or the bodies caused by his murder-boner. He decides that she’s focusing on making sure Jasper doesn’t get a murder-boner and she’s concentrating ‘vary’ hard on that.

(Is pointing out typos a bit too petty? Maybe but I did it.)

And Edward feels a new burn coursing through his body! The burn of SHAME!

(I'm glad I got to use this Gif so early on!)

I should say that, through out all of this, Edward’s been going on about his little monster (not that one) growling around his head but all I can imagine are the critters from Critters Attack:

He decides to just avoid Bella as much as possible while being in the same building as her and goes to try and change his classes halfway through the semester.

He startles Mrs. Cope by being so vampirey, though humans are too stupid to notice that, because he came in quietly while she wasn’t paying attention. Her panties are immediately soaked at the sight of teenage boy bod (ew) and asks how she could help him. Eddie lays it on thick because... I don’t know. I’m pretty sure she’s not in charge of the classes, so there’s no reason for him to make her flood the office like this...

Even he’s uncomfortable but he still does it. Gross.

Also, statistically, women prefer men close to their own age or slightly older, so...

We get a whole paragraph of Mrs. Cope thinking of how smart and perfect the Cullens are – actually thinking the line ‘Perfect Cullen’.

When she says that he can’t change or drop the class, he tries to stare her into submission, lamenting that his eyes aren’t gold but the terrifying black instead.

Uh... dark dark brown, almost black eyes are pretty common and can be very alluring. Have you forgotten Ben Barnes exists?! Here, I'll remind you:

I’d be more freaked out by the gold.

Bella, of course, interrupts this awkward seduction and sends Edward running with his tail between his legs. He passes by some random guy in the parking lot and, since Edward is so all important, the guy wonders where Edward came from and, instead of deciding he must not have noticed him before (Like a normal person not in a SMeyer book would do) he decides his imagination is getting the better of him.

Edward makes it to the Volvo where the others are waiting. He takes off like a bat out of hell (lawl) and in a moment of stupid where Meyer, once again, forgets how her characters's powers work:

She looked ahead for me now. We both processed what she saw in her head, and we were both surprised.

“You’re leaving?” she whispered.

You see... Alice’s visions are based on people’s decisions... Edward didn’t know he was leaving until he saw that Alice saw he was leaving... which makes no sense in the context of what we’ve been given.

And so, after a moment of Edward thinking about killing Bella, he decides to flee the entire country.

And that’s the end of chapter one! It took me way longer than I expected and I used 74 tabs... This is going to be an experience and a half...

Until next time, I'm out!

[squinoas]

Final Fantasy VII: Remake is both a blessing and a curse, to newcomers and series veterans alike - a (kinda) in-depth review of Final Fantasy VII: Remake.

Final Fantasy VII: Remake is both a blessing and a curse, to newcomers and series veterans alike.

As the latter, and someone who has played and enjoyed (and watched, in the case of Final Fantasy VII: Advent Children), most of the compilation that followed the original, I feel confident in saying this game is a worthy remake of the standout hit that put Final Fantasy on the radar of the Western audience. The blessing is an imaginative and fleshed out retelling of a fraction of an original thirty-hour story – stretching it out and giving backstory to returning characters, while introducing some fresh (and welcome) faces along the way. The Midgar section in the beginning of the original Final Fantasy VII clocks in at around 3-4 hours of a player’s overall journey.

Not this time.

But is that also the aforementioned curse of this game? That those players who have enjoyed the original many, many times know of what it still to come? Throughout my play through of the game this felt like it was going to be its main detractor, when actually the ending completely throws this into the air.

Only time will tell if this is a good decision that will pay off, or if it will backfire. Nevetheless, I’m optimistic that the best is yet to come.

How long will we have to wait for more? That’s anyone’s guess at this point, especially with the Coronavirus situation. Safety comes first, and any delays to the second and third parts of this episodic epic (and I hope it continues to be epic) will be understandable – and hopefully, much like this first part, well worth the wait.

GAMEPLAY (COMBAT, MATERIA, WEAPONS)

Much furore has been made about the series ditching a turn-based system – one still employed by Dragon Quest (another Square-Enix property, and the most recent instalment, Dragon Quest XI: Echoes of an Elusive Age, one of, if not my favourite, recent JRPGs).

Final Fantasy now employs an action-based model, more akin to another property, Kingdom Hearts.

Sometimes erratic and frenzied in 2016’s Final Fantasy XV, I’m happy to say that Square-Enix appeared to fine tune most of the aspects I disliked about that game’s playstyle and the result is Final Fantasy VII: Remake’s fun gameplay.

Keeping the ATB gauge involved was a good move, and gave the game a familiarity. The oscillating difficulties mean that there is a playstyle for everyone to find. I managed the entire game on normal mode (even my first time fighting the Whispers), until the Sephiroth boss battle. I have my own narrative issues with us fighting Sephiroth in the first part of this game anyway, but the difficulty spike in this battle on Normal mode felt unreal. I’d managed the slog that was the Hell House boss battle, and the annoyance of the escape from Shinra section, including that boss battle, but this was another level, and the only boss I had to change to easy mode for (which meant redoing the Whispers fight on that mode too).

On the other hand, there were bosses where, understanding their attack patterns and developing a strategy meant that winning the fight felt genuinely rewarding, as opposed to just time and energy-draining. An example of this was the Ghoul fought in the Train Graveyard – a new inclusion, and a whole strand of story that I enjoyed immensely. That battle really made use of switching between party members – Cloud and Tifa taking the lead in physical attacks and Aerith using her magic whenever necessary.

Materia has been updated, but not massively. Rather than a huge overhaul of the system, it still works largely how it did before. It’s been adapted for an action-JRPG but still comes down to strategy. However, an option to change materia mid-fight might have been prudent, considering the variety of enemy weaknesses. I found myself having to restart more than one fight because a batch of enemy scrolled through at least three different weaknesses and I was never adequately prepared for them at first. But at least restarting these fights was easy and hassle-free.

I liked the additions of new materia; such as Synergy which is another way to control what your other party members do in a fight, and the Magnify materia which works like the All materia of the original game. It made finding new materia fun and fresh, and meant I was constantly changing up my strategies to see what worked best.

The weapons system has been changed significantly, however. The upgrade screen looks stylistically like the crystarium from Final Fantasy XIII and the Historia Crux from Final Fantasy XIII-2. Therefore, it looks interesting, but is actually kind of boring when it comes to upgrading weapons. I ended up letting the computer upgrade my weapons with the balanced option, and this was a cool feature for people like me who found the task of upgrading tedious; especially when having to click out of each character’s weapons to only click into another one.

But the abilities that came with the weapons and having to develop a proficiency for these abilities was a nice addition. The only time I felt hindered by this was when Barret had to learn an ability on a close combat weapon. I like the fidelity to the original, but at the same time it was a handicap. Of course this is probably my own problem as I could have chosen not to use those weapons, something I may not do in a second playthrough.

Nonetheless, I felt like it encouraged me to play as every party member, and some were just downright cool. Special mention has to go out to Aerith’s Ray of Judgement, and Barret’s Maximum Fury which are so OP it isn’t even funny.

STORY (CHARACTERS, PLOT, ADDITIONS)

The original Final Fantasy VII is well known for the infamous ship wars. Clerith vs Cloti has been the ongoing debate for the past twenty years, and I don’t think this game is going to convince anyone that their side is right or wrong. It’s still left open to interpretation, at least in my opinion, and perhaps this was the best way to keep everyone satisfied. However, the game adds the additional element of having Aerith confirm that she did indeed love Zack Fair, the main protagonist and her love interest in Final Fantasy VII: Crisis Core. As a ‘Zerith’ and ‘Cloti’ shipper myself, this game gave me plenty of moments to love for both couples. As someone who does have a liking for Clerith and Aerti, it kept me more than fed.

I have to give kudos to those involved with the game that they stayed true to the very canon interpretation that Aerith and Tifa are friends, and always were. True, they both expressed some small mote of jealously in the original game (and, at times, in this one too), but it quickly becomes obvious that they are both strong-willed young women who admire each other greatly. There are great examples of their burgeoning friendship but my favourites have to be kicking the lecherous asses of Don Corneo’s lackeys, and discussing a shopping trip for stuff for the bar.

All in all, the characters are kept true to their original incarnations. If anything, they – as with everything else in this game – are given to breath and work through things organically. They are fleshed out, and given further backstories, motivations and plot. I think this was best done with the doomed member of AVALANCHE, Jessie. She’s given a last name which, to begin with, makes her feel less like an ancillary plot device and more a character in her own right. To add to this, we meet her mother and father; which absolutely tugged at my heartstrings, what with her father’s tragic accident leaving him in a comatose state. We find out Jessie wanted to be an actress and was working at the Gold Saucer (this also works as a nice nod to places we know exist in-universe but will not visit until a later instalment).

Marle, Leslie, Madam M, Andrea Rhodes – every Chocobo Sam – are all fantastic additions, and I hope we see them again. In particular I would love to see Leslie reunited with his lost love in a future game.

Now, in terms of the story, I have played the original inside and out for many years, and always thought I would be against changes made to the story. Throughout most of the game most of these additions are simply changes that just make things more interesting for someone like me who’s played the original before. Towards the end, however, things take a drastic turn, and turn everything we’ve known on its head. As I said before, I have no idea where this is going to go in the next part, and there were some aspects that left me scratching my head.

The main of these being Zack. As far as anyone who has played the original or Crisis Core will know, Zack died in a last stand against the Shinra corps sent after him and Cloud after their break out from Nibelheim. However, the ending raises some interesting questions. At first I thought us defeating the Whispers had rewritten Zack’s fate, but maybe that’s not the case. Nevertheless, it will be interesting to see where they take it (one change I did not like was Zack’s voice actor. I know all the English VAs were changed – which I wasn’t a big fan of in the first place – but the new voice actor does not sound good compared to Rick Gomez).

Overall, our characters end the game in more or less the same position as the end of the Midgar section of the original, but after the events of the battles with the Whispers it appears that certain events that would have been due to happen (the original ending with Red XIII, Aerith’s death, etc) may not happen at all – or at least, not in the way we think.

[kohakuhime]

Gentleshipping for the ask meme? :D

From this meme:

When did I start shipping it?

2009, or somewhere around there. It’s been a LONG time.

My thoughts:

I think I’m the first one who actually wrote the ship? I know for sure I’m the one who gave it the official name on the shippers list—fun fact. I will say that I strongly prefer keeping both parties at consenting age/18+ if we go romantic routes, though.

Anyways. The ship happened because I didn’t like how Tristan and Duke always fought over Serenity (so, sure, we’ll pair her with the guy who beat up her brother at the back of a Denny’s at 3AM. Good job Kohaku). That isn’t to say I dislike Tristan/Serenity and Duke/Serenity; rather, I dislike that she was used as an object of contention, and it’s not my cup of joe.

Plus. Wouldn’t it be hilarious that Valon goes “and I oop” and steals the girl?

What makes me happy about them?

There’s a lot of good potential there, honestly. It’s also very versatile. Want them as platonic partners? Bam. Done. You want angst? Dish that right up. Want fluffy domestic things? Ta-daaa. The possibilities are endless.

In addition, there’s the added bonus of having Joey and Mai involved (and for all those angst writers out there, having ALL the undertones of the past relationships...).

Also, in all seriousness: I think it’s a cute ship. It has a lot of potential to be a really good slow burn; I can see them posing as a couple (Serenity to keep away unwanted suitors, Valon because he thinks it’s a hilarious idea), and then very slowly, over time, that shifts over from platonic to romantic.

What makes me sad about them:

Aside from them never meeting in canon and that this is a crack ship As I mentioned earlier, there’s a LOT of potential angst in this ship, and it’s not even what’s between them. It’s a lot to do with Joey, Mai, Valon, and the Orichalcos. I don’t see Serenity taking this very well, if at all, and I do know there’s a massive fallout once it’s all in the open.

Things done in fanfics that annoy me:

¯\_(ツ)_/¯ there’s not many people who write it, sooo....the only things I can tell you is a) please no egregious slaughtering of characters, and b) I strongly prefer both parties being consenting/18+ ages before we get any romantic shenanigans involved ^^;;

Things I look for in fanfic:

¯\_(ツ)_/¯ see above.

Who I’d be comfortable with them ending up with, if not each other:

I’m comfortable with most other ships out there, and it’s to each their own honestly. As long as it’s healthy, I’m good.

My happily ever after for them:

I ship them with happiness and stability. They may not have a house and they may be in an apartment, and they’re both probably working (Valon as a mechanic/stunt driver, Serenity as a nurse). They may have their good days and their bad ones. But there’s never a shortage of love and care in that place, and you can tell even from a distance they care about each other.

Who is the big spoon/little spoon in their relationship?

They take turns, honestly XD

What’s their favorite nonsexual activity?

Between Valon traveling a lot and pulling weird hours as a stunt driver, and Serenity working, these two absolutely love their lazy days at home cuddled up on the sofa or in bed. That said, Serenity won’t say no to having Valon take them out on a motorcycle ride and fly along the road, either.

Thanks for the ask! This was fun!

[sage-nebula]

As I mentioned earlier, I finished my Golden Deer playthrough of Fire Emblem: Three Houses today, and I have some complaints. Since the complaints are spoiler-heavy, I’m going to go ahead and put them under a cut.

My biggest complaint is something I’ve seen a lot of people talking about, but that I had hoped was an exaggeration, and that it’s that the Golden Deer route (and presumably the Blue Lions route) is so much longer than the Black Eagles route. (For those who don’t follow me, the Black Eagles Strike Force (a.k.a. Crimson Flower) route was my first playthrough.) This on its own wouldn’t be a problem, except the length feels somewhat artificial. Rather than needing more chapters to defeat the Empire and close what the story that Claude and Byleth had started from the beginning, the additional chapters are tacked on by way of a letter from Hubert telling Claude about Those Who Slither in the Dark, and then Zombie Nemesis rising from his grave and needing to be fought. And setting aside the utter ridiculousness of Zombie Nemesis and his Zombie Ten Heroes (as well as that Tron-looking city Those Who Slither in the Dark supposedly built with what I can only assume is the same technology that gave them actual missiles, none of fits with the otherwise medieval setting and is pretty ???), all I can say is . . . excuse me?

That should have been part of Edelgard’s story.

Like you have no idea how indignant I am about this. It’s not that I’m upset that Edelgard’s story was shorter (though yes, it would have been nice to have the same amount of chapters for her story as well). It’s that I’m upset that Those Who Slither in the Dark were directly combated in Claude’s story, when Claude had fuck all to do with them. The only tie he has to them is through Lysithea, who waited 5+ years to tell him or Byleth about what was done to her, and even then, Claude understandably treats it as a tidbit of interesting information, without a whole lot to go on from there. Claude doesn’t have any personal ties to Those Who Slither, he has no reason to care about them outside of, “oh, they might try to kill people maybe.” And even then, that only really pertains to Fodlan itself; Claude’s story was all about opening borders and letting other nations in, and almost doing away with the concept of individual countries altogether. Claude’s goals aren’t directly in line with Those Who Slither; he has no reason to know of them at all. The fact that he only found out about them because of an extremely tacked on post-mortem note from Hubert highlights that all the more.

But Edelgard does. These are the people who experimented on her as a child. These are the people who tortured her ten siblings to death right in front of her. These are the people her uncle is aligned with, the people who used her father, the people who she feels she has no choice but to work with, the people who murdered her love interest’s father, and so on and so forth. Those Who Slither are a prominent and present force in Edelgard’s route from the jump. And she makes it clear, time and again, that working with them makes her trauma rush to the forefront every time she has to see one of them and that she plans to take them all out once Fodlan is taken care of, which means that it would make the most sense for the army to move on to Shambhalla as soon as Rhea is taken care of on the Black Eagles route, rather than having that reduced to an epilogue.

But that doesn’t happen. Instead, we get a footnote saying that they took care of Those Who Slither in the epilogue, while it’s the Golden Deer who get to actually do the deed. This, despite the fact that the narrative had to twist itself into a pretzel and do something completely implausible to get that knowledge into Claude’s hands (because that note was out of character for Hubert for multiple reasons I won’t bother to get into now). Why this is the case, I don’t know. Part of me wonders if it was a time constraint, but this game had already been delayed once before, and in any case, that doesn’t explain why they didn’t put time into including Those Who Slither into the Black Eagles route to begin with, rather than putting them into Golden Deer first and then tacking on an epilogue note in the Golden Deer route. I’m hoping that perhaps the DLC chapters that have been promised will include a continuation of the Black Eagles route that lets you deal with Those Who Slither on that route, but at the same time it’ll be pretty terrible if we have to pay to get the resolution to that route that should have been included from the get-go.

All of that said, the lack of sense of not dealing with Those Who Slither on Edelgard’s route despite the fact that she was the one with the most reason to go after them isn’t even my only reason for being mad about it. I’m also mad about it because it would have been good for Edelgard to learn that while she was not wrong about Rhea needing to be taken down, she was wrong about what kind of person Nemesis was. I’m not taking everything Rhea said about Nemesis and the creation of the Heroes’ Relics in the Golden Deer route at face value, because Rhea lies a lot and can’t really be trusted. But it’s clear that Zombie Nemesis was not at all a good dude. At the end of the Black Eagles route, Edelgard still believes that Nemesis had his story warped by the Church of Seiros entirely and truly was a King of Liberation. If she was confronted with Zombie Nemesis, who only wanted to destroy and murder with impunity, she would have realized that no one on either side was completely trustworthy, that there were wrongs on both sides, that Nemesis wasn’t actually a hero and neither were the other Heroes that the Church and nobility pretended were great all along (the latter of which she would have no problem with since she wanted to dismantle the nobility anyway). It would have been additional great development for her, but she never got it because the story was cut short. (And before anyone argues, “But Byleth couldn’t take on Nemesis without the Sword of the Creator, which she can’t use anymore after killing Rhea because the Crest Stone vanished from her heart,” remember that the entire point of taking down Rhea was that humanity could stand on their own and did not need deities---or the power of deities---leading them around like puppets or tools to be used. Byleth taking on Nemesis without the goddess’ power and winning anyway because she has Edelgard’s support would have fit with the theme of the entire route and would have been a far more fitting end, not the least of which because it would have shown Nemesis that his murder of Sothis and her children to gain more power was completely pointless.)

So anyway, as you can tell, I really hate how Those Who Slither were taken out “in person,” so to speak, on the Golden Deer route rather than the Black Eagles route. It made absolutely no sense and leaves a really bad taste in my mouth. That aside, I really hate how pro-Church and pro-Rhea Byleth was forced to be in this route (as discussed here), and I also really hated how Edelgard’s death scene was handled in this route, too.

Setting aside the fact that it feels kind of forced that the three House Leaders can’t come to work together post-timeskip (at least in the case of Edelgard and Claude; Claude refuses to join the Black Eagle Strike Force if spared for vaguely defined reasons, and while I get that Edelgard is stubborn, she herself says that she knows that her goals are very similar to Claude’s, so like ??? her refusal to team up was very forced), I really, really dislike how angry they made Byleth look during the animated cutscene where Edelgard dies. Don’t get me wrong, Edelgard’s speech was completely heartbreaking, and it’s clear to me that she has feelings for Byleth on that route as well. The fact that she’s pushing Byleth to kill her, not in an angry way, but in a “do this, it’s what’s best for you” kind of way just absolutely ruins me. But Byleth is glaring at her through it all, especially at the end, and to kill her before she’s even finished speaking? What the fuck, honestly. I know I’m biased as an Edeleth shipper, but my feelings do come through as I’m playing a silent protagonist, but they didn’t in this case. I didn’t agree with Byleth’s expression or emotion there one bit, just as I didn’t agree with all the “OMG MUST SAVE RHEA” that I was forced to pretend I wanted to say leading up to that. I think the writing there was sloppily handled, and that the player’s actual feelings toward the characters wasn’t well accounted for at all. (This isn’t even mentioning the fact that I refused to attack Edelgard with Byleth in the first place, and instead attacked her with Claude, so to see Byleth deliver the killing blow anyway . . . god, I really hated it.) 

All in all, considering all of the above and the fact that there are only three students (Claude, Hilda, and Lysithea) in the Golden Deer House that I actually like, and one (Marianne) that I think is okay, while the rest can just go chill in the trash bin for all I care, it’s safe to say I won’t be touching this route again. I’ll dearly miss Claude and Hilda (gonna recruit Lysithea first thing so I won’t have to miss her), but it’ll be worth it not to have to sit through that nonsense again, for real. 

At least the Crimson Flower (Black Eagle Strike Force) route is still almost perfect.

[stonyverse]

Favourite avengers movies scenes? Favourite iron man movies scenes? Favourite captain America movies scenes?

Omg, you have no idea how hyped I am because you're the first person who asked me so thank you for that. Anyways, you are in for a long ride because I won't be able to shut up about this.

1. Iron Man movies

Fave scene in IM1, I am Iron Man. That was the line that made MCU a different universe. I think they were gonna follow 616 (based on Tony's prepped statement courtesy of Phil) until RDJ disregarded the script and just opted to say that.

You see Nat going from playful to serious master assasin mode because her best friend is in danger. That scene basically shows that they will do everything for each other (FACT PROVEN IN ENDGAME). Basically, I loved all of Clint and Nat's scenes (kinda a low-key Clintasha shipper) in the first movie. I absolutely love their friendship and how it's portrayed in the MCU in its entirety. I mean I would've preferred that they be a couple but their platonic love for each other is what really got me to burst into tears in Endgame.

Whenever I watch that scene in IM1, I always find myself shaking my head and smiling because of how unbelievable Tony is. A part of me thinks he said that just so he could fuck with Christine Everhart and the other part of me thinks that he said it because he wants to tell people that you can be a superhero, no matter who you are and what your past is. It makes me think that way because before declaring that he's ironman he says that he's not a superhero because of his list of character defects.

In IM2, fave scene is Nick and Tony's talk in the latter's Malibu mansion. The whole conversation about Howard Stark. It highlights the fact that Tony never really got to know Howard. We all know he was a bad father to him but I kinda have mixed feelings about it. I mean, we see our parents as parents until we get to know who they are outside of being that. Personally, I'm just knowing who my mom is, now (I'm 20). Tony never really got that (part of the reason why that scene where Tony meets Howard in Endgame was important, for me).

And IM3, I don't have a specific favorite scene but I love its concept. I loved the fact that they showed Tony having anxiety attacks and PTSD and how he got through that. It's one of the things that made him human and so relatable.

I have to confess that I didn't see any CA movies until 2016. I only watched it because Tony was in CA:CW then I watched CA:TWS before watching CA:TFA. Basically, I watched it in reverse. 😂😂

I also loved the fact that the person who got him through it was Harley, a kid who became Tony's sidekick during that time. God, I don't really know how to explain how important it is to me, it's something that I can't put into words but I REALLY FELT THAT.

2. Captain America movies

CA:TFA, hands down to Steve and Peggy's last conversation. My god, that was heartbreaking. I've always been a sucker for what-could've-beens and almost love stories and they really reflect that. I sympathize with the both of them so much because they have to live with that heartbreak for the rest of their lives. It will always be the one bittersweet thing that they will carry. But the one my heart really aches for is Peggy.

I have a lot of favorite scenes from the avengers movies. I really loved the scene in A1 where Phil pulls Nat from a mission because Barton's been compromised.

I mean just. look. at. that! Holy shit, that grimace and half smile that she does. That's the face of a woman who can't get mad at the man she loves for leaving because the reason of said man for leaving her is the same reason that made her fall in love with him. It's kinda of like the look Pepper gives Tony in Endgame when the latter talks to the former about the time gps.

I'll put it on the list is easily my fave part in CA:TWS. It shows Steve doing everything he can in order to adjust to this world. It shows him moving forward.

And for CA:CW, it's Tony's presentation at MIT. Yep, loved that. It echoes with his character development.

For A:AOU, I'd say Fury having dinner with the Avengers. I think that's when he says I have you, guys, I have nothing to worry about. We know that AOU takes place after the falling of SHIELD and Nick doesn't really have all the resources that he had before but he still believes. He knows that these are the people who will save the world because they see it as something that they have to do. These are the people he watched closely and saw grow. We all know how the Avengers Initiative came to be after Captain Marvel and saw how soft Fury is back in the 90s and during the dinner in AOU, I see it as a parallel. I've always loved Fury and have always wanted to see how he came to be and who he was before SHIELD fucked him up, you know? And that scene in AOU really gave me a glimpse. I see him as the tough loving dad of the avengers.

(I got the gif from google and it says it's from bitony's tumblr so credits!)

It shows how much he wanted to help people with mental health issues because he's been there and he knows how hard it is so he wants to do everything he can to make it easier. It's for the people who finds it hard to talk to a psychiatrist so in order to contribute, he created a noninvasive tech that helps deal with that (that's why I stan one man, why I can't understand people who calls him selfish).

(P.S. CA:CW could easily be IM4, let's be real)

3. Avengers movies

A:IW honestly fucked me up (they dusted some of our faves!!!). Buuuuuuuut, I'm gonna say the Okoye-Nat team up. THAT SCENE GOT ME LIKE:

BC I LOVE OKOYE AND NAT SO MUCH!!! And to see them - these two powerful women of MCU who deserves more recognition - team up against the enemy, I swear, the BDE radiating from them.

(Additional stuff: what made me love Okoye way more is during that scene BP where W'Kabi was like would you kill me, my love? And my girl's like for Wakanda? Without question. I literally sobbed during that scene bc it hit me so much, I'm like I feel you, it just shows how much Okoye loves her country and that spoke to me)

SPOILERS AHEAD.

AS FOR ENDGAME, GOD DAMN, I LOVED EVERY MOMENT. It's easily my favorite Marvel movie. Stevetonies won in that movie, Clintasha shippers won, Thorbruce shippers won. It's basically a service to the people. I know some have been hating on it (especially on Steve's ending) but I think tied everything up.

Endgame's opening scene was Clint teaching his daughter archery. That was so soft for me. The last we saw him was CA:CW (and tbh, I didn't like him in that movie bc he's such an asshole to Tony, like the things he said cut deep) and then now we know he's on house arrest just like Scott and being happy with his family. I loved how normal it was bc that normalness made it so painful when they disappeared. Then we saw Clint become Ronin. It's a parallel, to me, because it shows that the good can be bad. It showed us flaws and that losing someone really brings out the worse in us. But he's storyline also showed how much a bad person can change with the help of other people.

Now, let's talk about Nat and Tony, let's be real, those two heroes started it. I mean, sure, Downey really started the MCU but Scarlett immediately followed him (IM2). To see their characters' journey end meaningfully by saving their families and creating a better future for the world, I gotta say, it may not be the ending we wanted (bc we want everyone to live) but they died doing what they love most, you know? They died knowing that they made a better future for everyone. And if they're gonna go, they have to go like the hero they truly are.

For Steve's arc, I'm not mad at it. I actually smiled when I saw how happy he was with Peggy. I would have wanted for him to stay in the present but I kinda get why he did it. I know it doesn't really reflect the comics (since Steve grew to love the 'future' in there) but MCU is a different universe. Steve's always been selfless, always puts the world's interest before his so to see him finally putting himself first by following Tony's advice (back in AOU) makes me understand. Like, okay, finally, this guy does something for himself.

I LOVED THOR. I know a friend of mine thought that Thor was a laughing stock during Endgame but I deemed him gaining weight as an important arc his character. Thor lost everything: Friga, Odin, Loki, Asgard, Heimdall, the people he's supposed to lead... Then he failed to stop Thanos because he didn't go for the head. He thinks he failed, he thought it was fault. He became an alcoholic, he was depressed but hides it behind jokes. I feel like somewhere in there he thought he wasn't worthy anymore. That's why he doesn't use stormbreaker, anymore. That's why for the last 5 years, he's 'not' the god of thunder. Also the reason during time heist, when he was able to call for mjolnir, it made me smile from ear to ear. Thor's endgame arc proved that no matter how depressed you are or how much of a failure you think you are, you're still worthy.

Bruce, Brucie-bear, Bruce... finally, he learned to accept Hulk. At first, I thought it was funny that he's Bruce and Hulk at the same time but the more I think about it, the more I saw how much Bruce grew. I mean, flashback in A1 when Tony told him to accept the guy and think of them as one instead of two different people, I remember how much he hated that idea because he sees himself as a monster and then in Endgame, we see him finally accepting his demons and actually became a better person because of it. Like, it really reflects how things would become better if we just embrace and love ourselves for who we are, you know?

THAT'S ABOUT EVERYTHING.

(credits to the owners of the gifs and photos!!!)

[scummy-writes]

Con Adventures!

--- Day One ---

The first day of con was pretty neat, and the very first thing we did was make our way to the dealers room so we could get to Cheritz's merch booth asap! The line to the room was kind of crazy, and I had never really been made to wait in such a long line for the dealers room before, but it was worth it finally getting to the booth!

(One side of it, I never managed to get a picture of the other side ;×; )

Thankfully the line wasn't too big, and everyone was very kind! I ended up spending....a lot.... but a fun thing the booth did was give you these bags if you bought something! The front and back looked like this:

While in line, I got to meet Mantamints, Mod Zen from Doodlemessenger, and Saeranuu! They were all such sweethearts and so nice, and Saeranuu even gave me a postcard!

So cute!! I was with Crystalsoul16 and Byebi during the con, and so Byebi was where I got the adorable Seven sticker from!

Pretty soon after saying hi and so on, we wondered around the dealers room until it was about time for the autographs to start, and we sat in the pre-line for a while and messed around on our phones while fawning over our bags.

I ran into the V and Yoosung cosplayer then, and got a picture, but right before then the Yoosung had asked if we wanted them to punch V before the picture and I ended up going "nOOOOO!" while laughing a lot. They were funny and kind!

For the autographs line it was really nerve inducing! I've only managed autographs from bands I've enjoyed before, but this had me so nervous, aaa orz Everyone has fun stories, but all I ended up doing was saying "Thank you" 2937947 times like a broken record, because I was too scared to say much else and didn't want to bother them.

They weren't mean, of course, and were incredibly sweet, but....ya know....anxiety. I ended up wearing my RFA badge to get the paper, and I'm so happy I was able the paper! I didn't......really.....bring....anything to sign....outside of that KSHSKDK i was a dumbass.

V's voice actor ended up asking for clarification on how to say my name, but since it's a little difficult he ended up pronouncing it wrong, and....without thinking...i corrected him, and I really regret doing that because he apologized a bit and I had to sit there feeling like a jerk o|-< People get my name wrong all the time at work so I'm used to rolling with it, so I have no idea what possessed me to correct him.

The autograph paper was great because they ended up having the VAs that couldn't come presign it! I'm so happy to be able to get all of them, but I'm also incredibly happy Sujin Ri was able to sign it was well! She looked so happy being asked to sign it!

After that, it was more wandering around the con, and I managed to run into Crystalstellar!! She gave me skeleton washi tape rolls ;v; She remembered I love skellies....

I closed my first day with this beauty:

I know its not MM related, but a quick note- People who can play this machine on extreme and get over 90% completion are insane and terrifying, but amazing to watch! Me and another guy were in line for the machines watching two dudes absolutely ROCK and we ended up talking about how awesome they were at it!

--- Day Two ---

I know everyone wants me to get to the panel stuff asap, probably, but for a little while I didn't even think we were going to make it to the panel! Crystal, Bibi, and I left the hotel early enough to try and get a good spot in line for the panel, but ended up getting stuck in a line for bag checks that wrapped around to the back of the first building.

I'm very, very, very, v e r y, thankful they did bag checks- incredibly thankful, but we waited in line for a while in super hot weather, with folks in full body costumes and such around us, only for them to...barely even check my bag????? The first day I had a small purse, and the woman checked the pockets fast and efficiently, and sent me on my way, but the second day I had a backpack on and the dude completely ignored two pockets?

I even pointed it out to them because they were big enough to like, put dangerous shit in if someone wanted to, and he told me to go ahead anyway? Like....if you're going to have a bag check line so big and make a big deal out of it, why the fuck aren't you actually checking the bags???

Jesus christ. I'm thankful no one wanted to do anything dangerous at the con.

Anyway, we ended up making it to the panel line in good enough time to get good seats, and eventually got in!

Before talking about the panel, I do want to link This Post where Mod Zen from Doodlemessenger recorded the panel from their spot! As of right now the official panel video isn't out, so this is nice for those of you who couldn't come! (Be sure to thank Mod Zen!!)

I don’t know what all to say about the panel, to be honest, especially after linking a video about it, but the person who set up the sound/video and was introducing the game was so funny and sweet. He seemed very nervous, but I felt like he helped give a calm air to the room, you know? He wasn’t afraid to joke around a little and he explained how surprised they were that so many people showed up.

I wasn’t really expecting them to play the opening video, but hearing everyone sing along made me happy ahhh ;;;; I get stupidly emotional over stuff like that ;w; And people actually cheered for Jaehee and Yoosung!!! I was so happy at that too!! I hope Cheritz can see that lots of people love them as well aaaaaa

I did like how they had the VA’s come out to reinact a few key VNS, and I was pretty surprised they had Ray’s VA do That VN, but it was so nice seeing and hearing all of them live, aaa.....aaaaa

I think my favorite parts of the panels were Sujin Ri explaining her thought process with the characters, and then the Va’s talking about how they felt towards their character/others. It was interesting hearing it all, and honestly Sujin Ri talking about how Seven came to be killed me o|-< I just really wanted to give her a hug after that. 

However, when she was talking about Jumin, and confirming he went through something traumatic with his mother, I felt aaah...sad and worried. Of course I’m not sure if she meant his birth mother, or a step mother, but I’m hoping that one theory I had isn’t actually true. It’s one thing to have it as a theory, but it possibly being true really....really....hurts. Not trying to say I hate that being written in, but I just don’t want these characters to have such hardships weeps

Hearing that Rika purposely made Yoosung weaker as well hurt.  aaah o|-< I dont know why I had hoped otherwise, though, when its apparent that she hardly had any sincere relationships of any kind. 

And speaking of, I was very thankful that Sujin Ri said that she had aimed for folks to see V and Rika's relationship as abusive- because it is. That's not me pointing to shippers and trying to mock them, I just mean I'm thankful that she was blunt about that, and that there's a good of how some relationships seem perfect at a glance, but once you pay more attention you can see how abusive some really are.

In my opinion, theres a lot of relationships portrayed as healthy or ideal in most medias, so I'm thankful when some abusive ones arent always shown as the same carbon-copy cutout tropes people often try and show them as- so that people can see abuse takes many shapes and aren't always covered in warning flags.

Ahh, serious topics aside, I also think V's va was....a huge highlight of the panel. He was hilarious, sweet, and, well...the Rika thing killed me akahjwhkwbqjshdkg

A lot of people are probably very upset the panel didn't get to Rika, and also didn't get to a Q&A session, but I hope you all realize that they were trying very hard to cover all the bases. Apparently, the con ended up cutting their time short, but I don't have any links to prove that, it was just what I've heard.

I'm assuming they're probably going to upload the video and maybe have an addition of Rika with talk of her VA (I hooope T_T) and try to answer the online Q&A's in some sort of format.

There's parts of the panel I didn't mention directly, and I want you guys to know that doesn't mean I hated those parts- I loved the whole panel. All of it. Every bit- I just don't see a reason to go over every little bit when I've linked a post with a recording of the panel, aaa... But if you guys wanna ask questions about my thoughts on things, please feel free! I love asks like that.

After the panel we ended up wandering around the artist alley a lot! I felt bad I couldn't snap some pics of another Rika cosplayer (and there was someone dressed as V's mom too!!!!!!!), but I had loads of fun! There were so many more MM cosplayers out on Sat, and it was so cool seeing all of them! I even ran into someone that looked so much like Saeran!! (But my friend took pictures of them, haha, I ended up getting too shy to ask if I could take one).

At the end of the night, I got to play Sushi Go with friends! I talked a little about that in a previous post, but it was so fun!

And...then I snuck to the Miku machines before the game room closed aaaaaaaaa

--- Day Three ---

IIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII

Went home.

Dhskjdkd I know some of you are probably like "Whaaaat!" Because there was another autograph signing, and as much as I love Cheritz and the Va's, there was an 8 hr drive ahead of me, and parking in Washington is fucking insane. Me and Crystal decided to head home as early as we could, and I'm glad for that because it was pretty late when we got back orz

I still have a lot to do, like find a proper pillow for my ray emoji case, and to hang up everything I bought, so I'm sorry for this post taking so long orz I'm still exhausted

Thank you for reading!!

[bookishwanderlusttt]

(SPOILERS) My review of The Last Jedi

I really enjoyed this movie. I didn’t absolutely enjoy it, but I thought that there were some good points to it. I will start out by saying though that even though I loved this movie, it didn’t feel like a Star Wars movie. It didn’t. I kept trying to find its spot among the others even The Force Awakens and I couldn’t find it. It just felt too different. But anyways...

(This isn’t going to be in any order. I’ve only seen it once and I’m going from memory. This is going to be kind of long.)

General Hux and Poe:

I really enjoyed the back and forth between these two. I thought that it was funny and it made me laugh but it was unrealistic (not that the Star Wars movies are realistic but you know). There is no way that would have gone on for that long without anything happening. They aren’t that stupid.

Luke and Rey:

I love the opening interaction between these two. We were left in TFA with them standing apart from each other at the end and we had no idea how Luke was going to react to Rey finding him. I laughed so hard when he took the lightsaber and threw it over his shoulder.

I loved how these two were with each other. I loved how Rey never gave up trying to get through to Luke. She followed him around to let him know she wasn’t leaving and that she wanted to train.

Leia’s Hologram:

I cried when I saw this. I loved that they did this and I felt that it completed a circle from ANH. Leia was the one who initiated Luke’s journey. If he never saw that hologram, who knows where he would have ended up. That was the spark that lit Luke’s journey and it was the spark that continued it. R2 knew Luke needed to see it to keep going and I just loved it.

First Training Session:

I loved this scene as well. I thought that it was really well done. I loved when Luke told her to reach out and she actually did and then he played around her hand with the leaf. I thought that fit in well and then she actually did reach out. She started listing off everything she was sensing, the balance. She felt every good thing and also the bad. I loved that they let her fall into the darkness because that’s not something that is allowed with the Jedi. You have to stay with the light. I was really hoping that this would mean that she was a Gray Jedi. (I’m still hoping) I thought this whole scene was beautiful even though I wasn’t a fan of how Luke reacted. I mean I get why he did because it’s explained later but I feel that it wasn’t right.

Luke Skywalker:

Playing off of that, Luke was really out of character the entire time. I remember seeing in an interview with Mark Hamill that he fundamentally disagreed with every choice they made with Luke and I can see why. He didn’t feel like Luke anymore. I can’t see in any possible situation that he would ever murder one of his apprentices let alone his own family. I understand that it was a reflex but come on. He stopped himself from killing his father because he believed the whole time there was still light in him and with Ben/Kylo he was just going to off him. I didn’t like that at all. I did like the end of the movie with Luke however. Him becoming one with the force looking into the distance at the binary suns. It was beautiful but I didn’t feel sad. I know I probably should have, but I didn’t. Overall, I didn’t like where they took his character.

Rey with the Lightsaber:

I absolutely looovvveeeddd this scene!! This was one of my favorites. When she picked up the lightsaber I got really giddy. I just loved it so much but I think the end of it with the rocks falling down onto the two below (don’t remember what they were called) it fell short. I think they were trying to hard to be funny there and could have gone without it.

Rey:

Rey’s character development was phenomenal in my opinion. I loved this girl from start to finish. She was amazing, badass, and just the best part of the movie in my opinion. I’m not sure if this movie confirmed that she was a Grey Jedi, but it felt like it in my opinion. I love how she knows theirs darkness inside of her, but she didn’t let it control her. I think she realizes that she needs the darkness, but she can’t follow it. I loved seeing her train and fight and just be awesome. I can’t wait to see where she goes in the next movie. 

Rose Tico:

I think that she was one of the best parts of the movie. I have seen some people say that she didn’t really need to be there and while I do see their point I disagree. I thought she was a great addition to the movie and I loved her a lot. I thought she was really cute and funny and I thought she was amazing. I can’t wait to see her in the next movie. 

Rose and Finn:

I think these two are really cute together. I thought they worked well together and I loved their interactions, but I didn’t see where the romance was. I was kind of shocked when Rose told Finn she loved him and then kissed him. I did think it fit. I thought they made a really good pair of friends. I could see that, but I wasn’t really feeling the love. BROTP: Yes OTP: Not really

Running out of Fuel:

This was one of the main parts of the movies and I thought it went on for too long. At the beginning I understood it didn’t make any sense by the end of it. You are telling me that this giant ship that was following behind never caught up. They could have easily obliterated the rebel ship and they didn’t? They just followed just slightly out of reach. I didn’t like this part.

Rose and Finn’s Mission:

This ties in with the previous note. It wasn’t like I didn’t like this whole thing but as with the last point it didn’t really fit. I thought that it fit well with the movie since that’s what the movie was about but the sequence didn’t. The whole Maz thing didn’t make sense and that was just the beginning of it. How were they able to contact her and why was she in a battle. That didn’t make any sense at all but whatever. My biggest issue was with the casino scene and I think my mom summed it up perfectly: “It looked like it belonged in a Bond movie, not Star Wars.” It just felt wrong. I mean I loved how Rose and Finn destroyed it and everything like an FU to the upper class and the people who abused her but it just didn’t fit.

Sneaking onto the Ship:

Continuing with that, it felt weird that they got onto the ship so easily. I know they had that code breaker guy (who was a creeeep and wasn’t even the right guy) but it felt too easy. It all felt too easy. How were they able to go around the ship and no one thought anything off it especially with BB-8 slamming into everything. It was too much, but I’m glad they were caught. It would have been too easy if they had actually succeeded.

Captain Phasma v Finn:

This was awesome but I do wish we would have seen Phasma sooner. I was hoping she would have had a bigger part in the movie but we saw her for like 5 minutes and then she was dead. But the fight was awesome! I was so engaged and I was thoroughly enjoying it. Finn is awesome!

Flying Leia:

I’m sorry but this didn’t make any sense to me. I have seen some people who were really excited to see Leia use the force but it was really cheesy. And I’m not exactly an expert but I don’t think you can use the force to fly. I thought it was too weird. I did think that this was where they were going to kill her off. I thought that would be the end although I thought that a lot throughout the movie.

Rey and Kylo/Ben:

I hate to admit it because I fought it off for so long but I think I’m a Reylo shipper now. I loved loved loved loved the relationship and the tension between these two. I loved the force bond between the two and out of everything they did with the new force abilities (see above) I thought that it fit. They are two sides of the same cling and I can see them going down the road of one can’t exist without the other. I loved the conversations they had with each other and how they learned and got to know each other and understand each other. They let each other know that they weren’t alone and I felt all the feelings. And when they fought with each other at the end I got the chills. It was amazing and I was Here. For. It. I can’t wait to see how this relationship develops especially after how they left things. I knew neither one of them were going to switch, it was too good to be true.

Luke and Ben/Kylo:

This relationship just felt wrong and I didn’t agree with how they took things. I get that Ben turned and Luke didn’t like it but the aftermath was wrong. I know I am repeating myself here but I don’t think there is any possible way Luke would ever try to kill his own nephew. He said it was a reflex but still. I do agree with Rey when she told him that Ben failed him not the other way around but I just don’t agree that he would try to kill Ben. That was one of my biggest issues in the whole movie. It felt really wrong. And did Han and Leia even know? Han told Rey and Finn that Luke felt guilty and that’s why he ran away but did they even know that Luke may have tried to kill their son? I just.... I didn’t like it.

Luke Becoming One with the Force:

I felt like this was a fitting end to Luke and I’m sure everyone knew that it would happen eventually, but it was odd timing. Why did he have to go? Was it because he used up so much energy making a ghost version of himself to go help the others? I thought that it was pretty cool that he was able to do that and my mind was bloooowwwnn when he was shot at who knows how many times and he survived and then again when Kylo sliced him with the light saber. But I felt like he would have had a more important role in the over all movie. I am hoping he will still be in the next movie especially since Carrie’s gone.

Leia:

It was hard watching Leia and I was holding back tears when I saw her come on the screen. She was amazing and her performance was amazing but I was wished she would have had a bigger role as well but she spent half the movie in a coma. I kept expecting them to kill her off around every corner because I thought they would have to. I kept grabbing my sisters arm every time I thought she was a goner but it never happened. I have no idea what they are going to do in the next movie but hopefully they will do right by her. I didn’t cry at all during the movie but I cried when I saw “In Memory of our Princess: Carrie Fisher”. I just felt tears running down my face and I hope they give her a good end in the movie. She deserves it.

Poe:

I liked seeing Poe more in this movie. I really like him and the leadership role he assumed despite of purple haired Laura Dern (can’t remember character name). They had an interesting back an forth with each other and I wanted Poe to be like “no bitch” and take over. He was really reckless though but I could tell it all came from a good place. He wanted to beat the first order but a lot of people were lost due to the choices he made. I mean they knew what they were signing up for but still. I really did like his character and his power to stand up against what he thought was wrong. I hope to get to know him better in the next movie.

BB-8:

STAR. OF. THE. SHOW. BB-8 was absolutely fantastic!!! Every scene they (how do you address a droid?) were in was amazing. The first one with BB-8 trying to fix Poe’s fighter, the one where they went off with that weird creepy guy and appeared in the ship, the one where they saved the Finn and Rose. Everything was great!! BB-8’s comic relief was genuine to me and fit in. The droids job in Star Wars is to help the people around them and lighten the mood. I loved every second of BB-8.

Snoke’s Death and Rey’s Parents:

These were two of the biggest questions everyone had going into TLJ. First, Snoke. Although I was really excited by his death, it didn’t make sense. People were all wondering who the hell Snoke was but we never found out. He was just kind of there getting onto Hux and Kylo Ren. He didn’t even serve that big of a purpose and that was disappointing, but I guess it was to set up the next movie where Rey and Kylo Ren, the last Jedi and the last Sith, will go head to head. But I’m still confused about his role.

Second, Rey’s Parents. This wasn’t that surprising to me. I know everyone was speculating about who her parents were but I knew they weren’t going to be anyone special. There is no possible way it could have been Luke or Han or any other major character. I was fine with who Rey’s Parents were and to me at least it felt like it fit. It’s nice to know her back story but this story is about Rey, not her parents (who were absolutely awful people).

Battle of Crait:

This was....interesting.

First, the rebels. There’s like 20 of them now and they seriously believe that they can stop that canon with those crappy ships. They were brave to try but it wasn’t going to go well. The only reason they weren’t all destroyed was because Rey and Cherie showed up with the Falcon and Luke showed up as his ghost self. And I don’t know why all of the First Order ships targeted her. Kylo told them to but some of them should have stayed with the fighter pilots. That was a stupid move. And Finn was ready to sacrifice himself to destroy the canon (which got me tears eyed because I love Finn) just to be knocked out of the way by Rose which almost killed her. And then Luke walked out and faced an entire army. I understand why Kylo told them to put all the guns on him but come on. He focused too much on his emotions and everyone got away. It was an interesting battle to say the least and even though I had a couple issues with it, it was still pretty entertaining.

Luke and Leia:

God, that scene between these two was almost too much to handle. It was the reunion I wanted and it was perfect. I wish I really wish they would have been together more but I thought it was fitting what they got. It was so sweet and it made me happy. And when he kissed her head it was just perfect. I love them both so much.

Rey Saves the Day:

Rey is just the best. I love her soooo much and I love when she came flying in with Chewie and when she used the force at the end to let everyone out. I loved when the joke of moving rocks came full circle and that was the best. And then the reunion with Finn and Rey. It was beautiful and I am reeeaaallly hoping that they get more screen time together next episode.

The Last Scene:

I don’t know where they are going to go from here. There are like 15 people left of the rebellion and I just don’t know how they will find a sufficient end to the trilogy in two and a half hours. I didn’t quite understand Poe introducing himself to Rey because weren’t they in the same scene at the end of the last movie and they never introduced themselves? But that was just a minor detail. I loved the ending with Rey and Leia. That whole shot of the two of them together it was beautiful but I really don’t know where they will go from here.

I know this is a jumbled up mess and kind of long but I had to get my feelings out there. I’m sure I missed somethings and this isn’t as in depth as I would like it to be, but it was a two and a half movie that I’ve only seen once. Like I said at the beginning, I really enjoyed the movie. I thought that it was fun and entertaining but I just didn’t think it fit in with the other movies. It didn’t have the feeling of a Star Wars movie. I really hope they bring it home in the last movie. I hope the go back to the style of TFA and make it an actual Star Wars movie.

TL;DR it was a good movie and I recommend it but maybe lower your expectations a bit.

Rating 6/10

Thank you all for reading if you made it this far and I would love it if you DMed me to talk about it!

[natsubeatsrock]

The Other Side

Because I’ve had this post on my mind ever since I’ve seen it. Also, this one from a while ago.

During FT Month, I made a post about the fact that I'm not comfortable reading Gruvia arguments. A lot of people who liked and reblogged my post did so with the notion that that was a good thing. The arguments for Gruvia are so bad, it makes sense that I wouldn't want to read them. It's a good thing that I can't stand to see any.

Except that's the opposite of what I meant. 

I'm actually annoyed that I can't stand to read Gruvia arguments. Because part of the reason I'm able to do so many of the posts I do is that I look at what people say about ships and the series and argue for or against it. It doesn't help that I can only barely do that for arguably the most vocal fandom in the series.

One of the most annoying trends everywhere is the idea that people have to be on one or two sides. You're either with us or with them. Of course, this has always been a thing, but it feels a lot worse here in the states with Trump making it near impossible to consider that maybe the other side might be right on something. Not that the majority of people on this website are helping. (Can't you tell that I'm a moderate?)

This thing feels especially terrible in volatile fanbases like Fairy Tail does. Forget that the concept of multi-shipping is unpopular anyway. The conceit that anyone is a fan of a ship is enough to be labeled as a terrible person who, depending on your ship doesn't. As easy as it is to demonize the Big 4 shippers for this, I've seen this from people on all sides of the fandom.

Heck, I've been a victim of this. When I questioned why we could support the University of Gruvia (yeah, that was a thing) and not a ship week for Albis, I got called a fake Albis fan who only wanted attention for Gruvia to go to Graytear and Graylu. When I thought that a comparison to Gruvia and an abusive relationship in Rave was weird, I was called a hater who didn't actually read Rave Master. (To be fair, I did get the relationship comparison wrong.) And more recently, my opinions on the Galuna Island arc made Gray fans think I only don’t like it because I don’t like Gray (which I don’t) and garnered me my personal favorite insult, which I’d make my title if I cursed.

And unfortunately, the place I've been seeing this pop up the most is in anti fandoms. The fact that Nalu and Gruvia weren't handled well but were popular made it easy for people to talk about how it failed to appeal to them. But since the ending of the series, the less reasonable vitriol that was always part of the fandom became almost the main portion of either tag. 

You're probably never going to see people make posts about why fandoms don't agree with each other like I did with Gruvia. I doubt we'll comprehensive explanations for why ships that are popular (in addition to, and not primarily, their fandoms) aren't as good as people think like I did for Nalu. Honestly, I'm not even sure how many more essays I can do like those.

One of my personal favorite essays from high school was a paper about abortion. Instead of arguing why the arguments for it are bad (I went to a Christian school), we had to come up with explanations and evidence for arguments both for and against abortion. So no matter what your arguments are, you had to give good reasons for why people would have these arguments. By the end of the paper, we were supposed to understand what the main issue of the debate is.

Aside from the actual vagueness of our teacher over the assignment, this was an understandably awkward paper to write. Because not only do you have to look up arguments for the side of a hot-button issue that you disagree with. You have to come up with logical deductions for why they make sense, which is harder than it may sound. By the way, you have to be as nonpartial as partial. It defeats the purpose of the assignment if you go at it from the angle of "And here's the other sides' inferior arguments." 

However, there is a lot of good in doing this kind of thing. If you do it right, you're able to empathize with the side you disagree with. You see why people would be on the side that they're on and get an idea of where they're coming from. At the same time, if you're on the other side of the argument and understand why people think the way they do, you can better come up with counters for why you disagree with them. If there is a point in the argument that you can knock out, you can convince people why you have the view you do. And of course, you have a better understanding of why you are right to have the opinion you do. 

My big issue with fandom thought, as a whole, is that it can lead to demonization of the other side. We don't agree with the other side because we don't understand them. But why should we? We know they're wrong, to begin with. Why even bother trying to understand where the other side is coming from if we already know that they’re wrong? 

There's not a whole lot of discussion between people who disagree with each other. There aren't a whole lot of people on either side interested in the others' views. And if they do represent that group, it's more likely than not a misrepresentation, ranging from misunderstanding to purposeful strawman. You're not going to see a lot of people able to understand an argument they disagree with. And, if I'm perfectly honest, when it comes to stuff like my "Comedic Relief" miniseries, I wouldn't be shocked to find out that I've messed stuff up about the Gruvia fandom's arguments myself.

One of the more recent, "stop being antis" post got to the heart of the matter. OP was mad that anti posts were showing up in the Nalu tag because they wanted to " to be in an echo chamber full of love and support for my favorite OTP ship". My conflict is that I don't know how to deal with that kind of sentiment anymore. One of my favorite early posts to make was a post making fun of the sentiment that there shouldn’t be an anti-Nalu tag. But considering that, not too long ago, there was a controversy over someone claiming that Nalu was worse than anxiety attacks, is there anything they could have learned about why people don't like their ship from most of the stuff coming out of the current anti-Nalu fandom? 

And let me be crystal clear on this point. Nothing, absolutely nothing is wrong with people saying they don't like something. You can meme for or against whatever you want. I think it's perfectly healthy to have anti fandoms and anti-tags. I've been a large advocate of this and anyone who would accuse me of otherwise doesn’t know much about me. (Again, wouldn't be the first time such a thing has happened.)

That being said, I can't say that I'm personally happy with the way that the anti fandoms for Gruvia and especially Nalu are now.  Because my most recent big anti-Nalu post was a satirical look at arguments for Nalu that have happened over the past year. Despite probably being one of the harshest things I’ve written for this blog, it’s fundamentally different from most of the stuff in the tag now. Not just because it’s satire, but because it’s talking about arguments and giving grounded reasons to not to like or agree with Nalu fans rather than just hating on fans for admittedly understandable reasons.

I wanted clear-cut endings to ships regardless of whether they were in my interest because I knew open endings would make the situation worse. And wouldn't you know, it's gotten worse, in part because people on both sides think they're right and the other side is wrong. And now that everything is set in stone, no one has any real reason to see anyone else's opinion if they think it's wrong. So, this will probably get worse as time passes before it gets any better.

In Conclusion:

Look at what a mess we’ve made.