#anyway the worst part is that i dont have any other friends so i can't fall out with her negdhdvd

[drysauce]

i feel like withing next few months i might completely fall out with my best friend help

[vixensbrainrotts]

Hello, Stranger - Shinichiro Sano

Content: Cheesy fluff

Tropes: fated ironical meeting

Warnings: none (?)

Summary: how the two of you met, once upon a closing-hour...

Vixen's two cents: I can't believe that it taken me so long to write a cheesy first meetings scene! anyway I love Shinichiro so have yet another fit about him whilst other characters rot in the background (I swear I wanna write for everyone). if you have any ideas (I kinda ran out rn) please send me an ask: REQUESTS ARE OPEN. yes, thats all and now enjoyyyy!!!!!

You had just recently bought out a shop, a quaint little thing that was akin to the one you would dream of when you were a little girl. It didn’t take long for you to become acquainted to the space over the holiday-period, which allowed you to get used to the space without the hassle of customers just yet. When however the first opening day comes and goes, you’re left tired and exhausted by the end of it. Business had been unexpectedly good, lots of people trickling in to visit the new coffee and cake shop.

You were just about done checking that every candle was extinguished, all the power was off but the coolers were still running, and that all the doors were locked when you stumble across a door you‘ve never seen before. It looks just like the rest of the installed doors, maybe a bit aged, but nothing out of the ordinary. The only issue was that you doesn’t remember this being part of the tour that you had been given when buying the shop.

A bit confused you go to get the big bundle of keys that you were given for „all the doors“ (whatever that meant now), and start fumbling with key by key to try and unlock that door. One after another key clinks unsuccessfully, but your hope to find out whats behind the mystery door stays strong.

—

Shinichiro was just about done for today, having thrown the towel when he couldn’t distinguish a nut from a bolt anymore, his vision swimming slightly. He was standing over the counter, checking things and notes off of his schedule and to do list, and writing up a new one for tomorrow. He‘s trying to focus, trying to remember what that one stupid saddle leather color was called that he had to order and eventually replace, when his ears caught some rather startling noises- keys rattling.

It was coming from a side door he was told was unusable by the previous shop owners when they sold the place to him. Due to an unfortunate run-in with Mikey’s little idiot friends some years ago, Shinichiro is quick to close the schedule, assuming that it must be thieves or burglars. He crosses the shop towards the door, grabbing a spare wrench from a nearby work-bench as arms and stalks towards the door, anticipating the worst.

—

You’re beyond frustrated at this point. What are the odds of choosing all the wrong keys in the way-too-big keychain consecutively? You glared down at the last possible key, hoping that just for the sake of your sanity this one would give way to what’s on the other side of that door. You don’t even care all that much anymore about what you’ll find, what’s important right now is that you can get the satisfaction of unlocking the mystery lock.

You take a deep breath and glance down at the key, pushing it into the lock and�� it gives way. The key fits right in, and with a quick twist of your wrist you feel the lock click and open, and you feel yourself smile just a bit in victory.

Confident, you push open the door, but the smile upon your face drops fast when you hear a fierce yell, and duck instinctively when something comes flying your way. Your keychain goes flying out of your hands, skidding a few good meters across the floor and into the next, now open, room, right towards the stranger who attacked you with… a wrench?

—

Shinichiro looks down towards the target with wide, furious eyes, nostrils flared, ready to fight tooth and nail for his shop when he looks down at the 'threat' and realises that... youre not.... you dont look like... wait… aren’t you?? you’re...?!

that cute cafe owner from next door!

Shinichiro's eyes soften as he looks down at you, frozen in time and place for a few seconds, his voice stuck in his throat as he tries to process the situation. Once he found his voice again, he started sputtering apologies.

"Oh my god im so sorry, damn I didn't realise that - you know! fuck are you hurt? you've got great reflexes!" he apologetically rambles as he looks across the floor, trying to find the keys he heard drop. He's stumbling over his words, not really making any sense at all, a bit too caught up in trying to find those goddamned keys! to realize that your shock has worn off by now.

You're still sitting squat on the floor from how you'd dodged and fallen, softly giggling to yourself, both at the absurdity of the situation as well as his still constant muttering. Once his eyes catch the target, right beside his foot, he's scrambling to pick the jingling bundle up.

He straighents himself again, a little too quick and Shinichiro's world spins before his eyes as a painful crack! sounds from his back, causing your giggle to turn into a full laugh. Finally, he notices that youre not cursing him out, or mad, or anything like that. Quite the opposite, he thinks as his gaze traces your smiling lips, ears tingling at your cherry laugh. The merry noise makes his own lips curl up, and for a moment he forgets what he's doing.

"You’re ok." your voice is still shaky with laughter as you wipe tiny tears from your eyes, but it snapped him out of his little daze. "Right, uh, no not really you could have gotten really hurt." he says incessantly, stepping closer to you to hand you back the keys.

You only shake your head and smile at him though, reaching out to take the keys from him. He obliges, holding them out to you and he's about to apologise again when he feels your hand brush his.

It's only a short little moment, just a small caress of your much softer hands against his, but it causes his cheeks to tinge with warmth, and he feels his stomach burst with tiny little electric tingles, and then all of a sudden everything is spinning again, and he thinks he might throw up again because he's staring again, damnit!

"I- uh..." he tries to start, but you take the words out of his mouth when you smile up at him. "You know you've gotta let the keys go for me to take 'em... right?"

This time, Shinichiro feels his whole head go uncomfortably warm, and his heart feels like it's pounding out of his chest. "Sorry." he manages to blurt out, letting go of the keys but keeping his hand outstretched. "Lemme help you up?"

You pocket the huge keyring before wordlessly agreeing to his bid, taking his hand and letting him pull you to a stand. Shinichiro's breath hitches when the scent of your perfume wash over him, and he feels his mouth move before he can think of what he's saying. "Erm.. sorry but, you felt that too, right?"

[dididi11]

I dont plan to get back into HH, but here are some things that have triggered me and that ik sure alot of people can agree on:

1. I feel like Charlie's idea of redemption can be seen through alot of perspectives. HOWEVER- what she specifically wants is to redeem EVERY soul. Now there's a reason to why hell exists, it's made for people who have done terrible things in their life, which is why they get banished to Hell in the first place. We may not know when a soul is actually pure enough to get redeemed- BUT we do know what you would have to be to end up in Hell. Murderers, RÆpists, Cannibals, Paedophiles- just all of those in the horrible category most definitely DON'T deserve a second chance. And even if they somehow did get redeemed, how would the victims in Heaven feel? Heaven is the place where they're supposed to feel safe- So how the hell do you expect to put them in the same place together without any conflicts? If you truly want to get the right people into Heaven, then you should background check every single Sinner throughly.

2. Adam- We all love love him and hate him, but there is one person to blame for when it comes to his Character: Vivziepop. I feel like she used the "Annoying Villain who doesn't care about anything that the protagonist has to say and is just downright badly written" trope way to often. He could've had so much potential to be a good written Character that would actually explain to Charlie why sinners just can't be redeemed. It just felt unnecessary to only let him be a douchebag, sing his song (which was banger don't get me wrong-) and shorten their time by 6 months for the next extermination to cause Charlie another COMPLETELY unnecessary problem. And all that for NO reason, "Yeah, but that's because he's a douch-" And that's exactly my point, why waste your time and effort on a basic ahh character if he's going to be a just an ordinary douche anyway? The first Season would've been so much more interesting if we actually had a logical explanation to why others are against of Charlie's idea. But no, instead all we get is "ahahaha, Sinners are stupid. They deserve Hell." Also why the Hell did Adam shorten the time for the extermination by 6 months?? It felt so unnecessary, They probably felt like the first Season would've been boring without any Action- and I'm pretty sure they could've made a different Scene that was also Epic without it not making sense.

2. ADAM AGAIN- I don't want this to be just about Adam, but since he is dead (BY FUCKING NIFFTY I HATE HER) and maybe wont come back- since we don't know if he'll get respawned..what kind of punishment will Lucifer specifically receive? To clarify things, Lucifer had disobeyed the rules of Heaven and Hell, he helped his daughter and her friends kill off half of the exorcists and even threatened them to retreat. And the worst part of all of this is that he would've killed Adam if Charlie hadn't stopped him. Even though Adam was killed by NIFFTY, I'm pretty sure the blame would be put on Lucifer instead of some Sinner. So what will happen if they try to communicate with Heaven again? They literally killed the first human of mankind created by God himself. Honestly at that point it would be a pretty huge deal and Charlie's redemption idea wouldn't even be looked into.

2. Emily and Charlie- I hate how none of the Characters genuinely understand the ACTUAL purpose of the extermination. It's to prevent Hell from gaining to much power, that's why they need to make sure to kill off half of the population. It was never about the redemption of Sinners, so Charlie shouldn't even think about canceling off the extermination. I also get why Emily is mad at Sera for lying to her, but the fact that she immediately joined Charlie's side without even thinking trough the entire thing is just downright dumb.

3. I feel like there's more to talk about, I just don't know what.

[nanistar]

I'll be so real with you I'd agree with those blossomfall posts more if it was 2014, breezepelt is a fan favorite once you get off like the warrior cats forms and she was still always less popular than him (because she's a girl with flaws 🤯). Genuinely go into YouTube and look up blossomfall map then breezepelt map and see the difference in amount of videos, times wherein they came out, and view counts!

breezepelt is a somewhat major character/antagonist with a full-ass plot line and major connections to the POV characters of one of the arcs and a primary feature in a super edition and blossomfall is hardly a supporting character who is kinda-friends with ivypool for a little bit. for once i dont think it's a typical warrior cats fandom misogyny thing, it's not because she's a girl with flaws, it's just they are different degrees of important in the story which is why breezepelt is more popular. blossomfall was never supposed to be important, she was always just a random background character back from the time period when the BG characters actually had snippets of personalities. (ivypool will always be more loved than someone like sparkpelt who is just a BG character, simply because ivy is POV and ppl have more to connect with, just as an example.)

obviously warriors fans are known for latching onto a random bg character with 0 lines of dialogue but your average joe reader/fan wont really focus on bg characters.

for what it's worth i am almost certaint that the erins just threw the part about blossomfall training in the dark forest bc her sister was getting more attention than her without actually considering the implications and how that kinda makes blossomfall kinda shitty rather than sympathetic. but with that being said if you wanna talk about how everyone immediately acts like blossomfall is the worst in the situation here rather than focusing on millie being the one to infantalize her disabled child and neglect her other two then i think we've got something.

(or greystripe who straight up does nothing for any of his kids but i can't get started on that)

anyway TLDR breezepelt is more popular because he has more writing and character development in the actual books and blossomfall is just a random bg character

[thetinylittlespider]

The Playground of Gods. (Halloween Story!) It is finally here after a miss of 1 hour! I dont think I did as good as I could have, but Idk if the reception for this is good I might think of a sequel! Or else is the last time I try doing smn like this xhjasfdgasfdas Anyways! Enjoy your candies people! and this humble mess of a story!

CW: Death, dehumanization, cruelty, angst, post-apoliptic scenario, probably slight mention of v0r3.

5 years ago, with no time to answer, people from around the globe took a change that had no explanation even to this day. They grew to gigantic sizes, their eyes started glowing like the stars in the night sky, their skin turned gray and some factions of their bodies adopted scales similar to the snakes, their teeth became sharper and the worst part of it all, their minds were not the same.

In the first week, the people who grew...once friends, family, and even lovers, lost all sort of empathy towards the people below, and they were most likely killed among the countless victims that came soon when the giants started their rampage around the world.

Cities fell, civilizations vanished, governments lost meaning, and armies were just a pause for the civilians to get as far away as they could...

Nuclear weapons were tested in Europe as the last resort, to see if that could finally put an end to the giants, but after the sacrifice of one entire city to the blast, the giant that resided survived, wounded, but quickly healing and regenerating the damage, the burns.

The last thing everyone recalls hearing on the radio was the use of nuclear weapons to terminate all the 100 identified giants dispersed around the globe, risking that our planet's atmosphere became a living radioactive hell, with no chance for long-term survival.

It took a few months for the giants to finally manifest just the surface of their goals by causing so much pain.

"To create a perfect world, the last one must fall."

Those words were painful, a ringing bell next to my ear when I managed to evacuate my city, I was 17 back then. And the giant that took over our region, I'm glad I never saw that thing...Otherwise, my nightmares would been plenty.

Ever since the giants created small cities with a handful of humans who were called "cultists". People who had lost all hope for freedom, and who accepted the giants as the rightful owners of our planet, and species. Their minds were broken, willing to sacrifice their own to feed the giants, to track, expose, and eliminate any rebel group they could find. And taking every resource on the outside back to their fucking human farm...

As for now, I'm just a rebel.

1 year after every official military shelter fell, I managed to find a group of crazy bastards that have been my new family ever since. We stopped using our real names, and instead used code names to prevent the cultist from getting any information, just in case we are recognized.

As for our name, we recently chose to call ourselves "Jackpot" over the radio when we talked to other rebel groups. The reason for it...

ーIt's because we are so goddam LUCKY!ー Said Omega, a man who was around his early 30s, our leader. He was the oldest around and had far better ideas to survive, the only one who had at least some military relatives to show him how to manage in this type of situation.

ーDon't jinx it, last thing we want is to find useless crap in this place...ー Charlie, on the other hand, was quite the opposite of that, yet he was the youngest at just 19 years. Made sense he was usually so moody. He might've lost most of his life far younger than any of us.

ーWe could use some ammo, Alpha said that he almost ran out of it, we can't have one of us unarmed. ー Zulu, she was our scout. Older than me with 27 years on her. She had brought us to this city with remains of the old civilization, resources could be plenty, after all, most people didn't have time to even loot shops or take valuables when the giants started their killings. And as for now, rebel groups could be counted with a hand. Cultists were far in the regions in deep nature. We were supposed to be fine.

ーIt's not my fault, that bear back at the last resting point almost ripped my head off! It was my life or his!ー And me, the waste of resources that somehow managed to stay alive ever since the crisis started.

My parents had traveled on some vacations before the giants started murdering people like ants, it was a boat thing for rich people, of course, they didn't want me to come and ruin their fun, after all...I was meant to have a life already built...And now I couldn't stop thinking if they were somewhere in the world, maybe alive on a little island. But that was far too positive for me to imagine.

As for friends, I only had two of them in my hometown, Eric and Tania. They both were at a party the day this nightmare began, none of them answered their phones. And like my family, I had given up hope to ever find them, at least...alive.

Tania had plans for me to come live with her in an apartment, that was as good as life treated me. She didn't care I had trouble with keeping a job, or that I was useless to even cook my meals. She always had hope things could turn out good for me. Maybe those wishes kept me alive for this long. But some days I barely understood why I kept going when there was nothing of my life I could return to.

But these guys...they were a good reason to keep living on.

As we got inside the remains of the city, I released a small sigh. I usually got melancholic seeing the destroyed buildings, and recalling what they used to be, and how many people there were. And now, this place was our little sanctuary for the next 2 days before we had to move again. Our giant overlord is said to enjoy walks to hunt people or animals, and that was not a risk we were willing to make by standing in one place for too long.

ーOkay, I'll set down the camp, Alpha and Zulu, go get whatever you can from the remains, food, water, guns, new clothes, go wild. Just get back here with something useful, Charlie, you get a high spot and go on watch until I'm done, take your rifle, see any cultist, you shoot, rebels, you give me a signal, our giant "queen" makes any sign of getting close to the area, you get back to us and don't let yourself be seen. ー Quick as always, we never had to be asked twice whenever Omega designated our chores. And so, everyone got to it.

Charlie managed to find a building, originally, it probably had more than 20 floors. But the structure collapsed, destroyed, and he had to manage to take the 8th floor. It was as high as he could get now.

Zulu and I took a little tour around the streets, I just simply kept walking, looking at someplace that could resemble a shop, even a destroyed mall. Lifting a few boxes of ammo that the military left years ago was a very mechanical task. I did my best to ignore the dried blood of the citizen's remains, the colossal footprints that branded the ground, and the flattened vehicles that were now unrecognizable. But I didn't even realize I had company until Zulu got ahead of me a few steps. Without speaking a word, she quickly let me know her question by staring at me for minutes, trying to make eye contact.

ーYou are having one of those episodes, are you? ー She asked in a soft yet concerned tone.

ーWhat are you talking about? I'm just doing what I'm told. Is not that weird. ー I say in a useless attempt to avoid the subject.

ーBack in the cave you didn't shut up about how much you missed seeing a city again ever since we targeted this place. But right now I just see you like an old guy wondering where the great years went. How does an excited puppy turn into a silent robot all of a sudden? ー She said making a stop, and I did the same.

ーWell- Ugh. I don't even know how to tell you. But every time we go into these ruins...I just get hit with nostalgia, I start missing my school, college, my friends, and sometimes...Sometimes I see all of this and think of it as a museum, one that tells and shows us that none of it will ever come back. It's history. ー My tone was broken, to think about how far I had come to survive this whole apocalypse, I even wanted to be ignored by Mom and Dad instead of not knowing if they were dead or alive.

Zulu kept quiet and looked down at the ground, a tired smile drawing on her face as her eyes went back to me, filled with kindness and care.

ーHey, listen...I know this isn't the life you want. And is not the life any of us wants. Every day I try to sleep...I can't stop picturing that fucking bitch's face out of my mind. But you tell me you haven't seen her yet, right? Then why not keep the happy memories? Not like a burden that is going to be taken away from you. ー She was suggesting something I never quite put my mind to. I always feared that even if I had good things now, one day everything would be gone, and it tortured me to think about it, present or past, the future would crush it.

ーWe are the only ones that can carry on those memories, is a way to make the people we lost come back at us, a company to bring joy, to make us go forward. ー She finished, giving me a light pat on the shoulder, and I replied with a small nod and an awkward smile that tried to defeat my negative thoughts.

The afternoon came to an end, and the night was setting in. We were back at the provisional camp that Omega prepared. A fire, some cans of tomato soup from our reserves ready to go, and he had made a small tent from some nearby bags and damaged clothes he found around.

ーSo you two found anything good? Or is this place as empty as it looks? ー Said Omega before starting to eat, hitting the ground next to the fire for us to do the same.

We told him everything, of course. Ammunition was not a problem anymore, some cans of tuna survived the rampage of the giant here, and we had some sodas that were close to expiring. At least we had something different to drink today, and maybe the last artificial flavored drinks on the planet.

Charlie remained on his duty, I handed the boy a warm can of food and his drink before heading to sleep with the rest. Observation duty was awful, I've been there my fair share of times as well.

And as soon as I started to finally get some rest.

Boom

Boom

Boom...

I moved slightly, groaning, annoyed by the sound...

Boom

Boom

Boom...

I hear the tent opening, and a fast breathing trying to be under control.

ーGuys, wake up! Now! We gotta go! ー Charlie, out of his post...This wasn't good.

Everyone got up immediately, Charlie quickly started putting all the things we gathered today in our bags, desperately.

Boom

Boom

Boom...

The ground started to shake under us, this was more than bad news. And they got closer, and closer.

Before any of us could hope to get out of the tent, crashing like a meteor, a massive foot fell right beside the exit of the tent, making the entire team freeze.

"Hm. How dull."

The giantess above us spoke, and her thunderous voice made our bones tremble, it was the first time in 5 years I heard that voice. Her tone was deep, yet feminine, piercing but with echoes of every word she spoke. One of the things that changed about her when she turned into a giant.

As she started to walk into the streets, Omega opened the tent slowly to prevent any sound from escaping. He then saw the giant walking, knocking off the tallest buildings with her arm, and they fell as if made of sand...

ーI'm gonna make a run to the other side of the street, hopefully, I'll try to get further into the city and bring her attention. You go the other way, get out, back to the forest. ー Omega whispered, flaregun on hand, Charlie looking disturbed at the idea, after all, we never had this close of an encounter with the giantess. And it was for a good reason, there were no tales of people who survived being close to them, not rebels.

ーN-No, Omega...I-I didn't see her coming, I swear I don't know what happened Charlie got interrupted as Omega covered his mouth with a free hand.

ーIt doesn't matter, if we go together she has a higher chance of killing us on the spot, hiding isn't a good idea if she ends up destroying what is left of the city and us alongside it. She is looking for entertainment, so I will give it to her, and you all get the fuck out of here. Got it? ー Omega tried to give us a reassuring smile after we all agreed to follow the plan. As much as he promised to be okay, to try and hide. At least Zulu and I knew how things were ending, our duty was to follow the plan and keep Charlie safe.

The giant walked aimlessly towards an abandoned parking lot, she was giving us her back, and that moment was perfect for Omega to quickly move in between the streets, and soon, he was nowhere to be seen...

The rest of us moved as well, out of the tent towards the opposite direction the gigantic entity was moving, we tried to ignore the ground shaking beneath us as she just casually kicked one of the corners of the building she had in front of her. We kept Charlie in front of us, trying to be quick on our feet while also not making noises that the fine ear of the giantess could catch.

ーThis is all my fault, I don't know what happened...I could've sworn we were clear I-I...ー The young one kept blaming himself for the presence of the giant, but it was not in my position to judge or criticize how well he did. He was just a kid, after all. This was too much, even for me.

And curiosity be damned. I never saw our overlord, besides a hand in the distance, a voice changed to a so-called divinity tone. A part of me asked me to look at her, to give a figure to that one I had to hate, for everything we lost, for everyone we lost.

But instead of hate, I'm greeted with confusion, her figure, her hair, they resulted as something terrifying...

Something familiar.

My steps became slower, as this information made room in my mind. As things tried to make some sense. Zulu and Charlie both turned back to whisper at me.

ーHey! Let's go! There is no time to waste! ー

I shook my head as I noticed the giant woman picking a vehicle in between her fingers, she observed as if it was a toy of extreme details, and it seemed that it wasn't exactly of interest to the woman, as she just sighed and threw the car from the parking lot behind her, almost reaching us in the impact, but missing by a few meters.

I fell to my back, trying to get away from the now-destroyed object. The bored "divinity" started to shift her position once more, with one swift move of her arm, she made the entire building collapse, she was turning around. And we were in the middle of the street.

We all hid behind the collapsed car, and the absolute darkness of the night ceased for us as the light finally reached us, it was her eyes. During the day we wouldn't notice, but her eyes emanated a glow like a big flashlight, and she focused on her recent destruction. She wanted to get closer, probably to check what else she could find, her steps felt closer.

Zulu held Charlie and we all kept our mouths shut to prevent even a gasp from coming out. Before the light from her eyes could be above us, a distant sound of a small explosion was heard, the glowing eyes moved aggressively as she turned in the direction of a new source of light. A flare, bright red decorated the sky, and she took no hesitation to check what was it that shot it. Given her size, she didn't bother to go around the buildings, and instead, she went right against them, concrete got turned into dust as she came in contact with the structure, her hands pushing aside the closest constructions, and making a rain of debris fall upon us, who shielded with only our arms and bags.

Omega had made the distraction. And we had to take advantage now.

"Now what do we have here? What game are you playing?"

She was being coy, she knew what his fate was, and so did he. The gunshots came soon, and she only released an amused chuckle.

We had to keep going, trying to ignore the background noises that resonated in the empty and dead city, she kneeled, making our world tremble once again, like a cat, that sick monster played with her food, and eventually, after ceaselessly shooting, Omega ran out of bullets. We were just 3 streets close to the bridge we came in, the forest was near. We could still make it.

ーFuck, Fuck...She demolished the fucking bridge! ー Zulu said in anger, she started to get stressed, our options were getting limited by the second, our only way out was either get to the coast and hope to not be seen, or cross the gap between the city, the river with savage waters, and the forest...

ーWe have to get down, the coast is not safe we will be exposed and she will kill us all. ー I thought it would be better to take our chances crossing the river instead of going to the coast.

ーAlpha, the waters will destroy our resources, mess with our guns, and we will be injured if we take the wrong step, I'm not taking that chance! ー Replied Zulu, crossing her arms, thinking to herself some other possibilities.

Charlie, out of our sight. Gave a few steps back to watch the city, listening to what seemed to be screams of pain, and then, he saw a fist rising above the crumbling buildings, and then the falling of it.

A loud booming came to us, and a shockwave of air almost made us lose our balance.

That was the moment we knew Omega had died, his screams could reach us no longer. And the piercing feeling in our hearts only filled us with dread. Charlie was the first one to manifest his pain, crying out loud the name of the man who had taken care of him after losing everything, in a way, in this world of injustice, Omega was the closest thing he had to a father figure.

But both Zulu and I knew there was no time for grief. Quickly we both placed our hands on top of Charlie's mouth again, with his muffled screams barely coming through, and his tears falling on top of our palms. It hurt to do this, but noise was the last thing we wanted.

"And you had friends, of course."

Unfortunately, we were late...she heard. She knew. She stood there, a figure in the shadows of the night, eyes enlightened, looking, wandering.

The impact of familiarity struck me again, but this time, I made a horrible decision, my mind was playing tricks with me, and for some reason, I had the need to prove something to myself. And the fact that we were cornered like rats didn't help my thoughts.

We moved towards a building, hoping we could sneak in between the next one, but it was an abandoned mall, at least the structure resembled one. Footsteps that shook the earth soon followed, the crystal dome upon us let some moonlight in, as well as the silhouette of our predator. Her hands now trying to bring down the entrance from top to bottom.

Zulu and Charlie followed me, and just by a few steps we managed to get away from the collapsing structures, reaching a small stand that was barely holding on for safety. But the giant curious hands did not give time to rest.

She knew we were here. And it could've been far too easy to kill her fun by just collapsing the entire building over us. Instead, she treated the mall like a small box, and we became her toys, our lives were in the short term now.

Now, the wall of collapsed concrete that sealed the entry fell apart as a clawed hand made its way through, crashing to the floor and searching for us.

Her fingers, as long as our entire bodies searched with precision every object, every piece of concrete, and every single thing that could be her attempt at catching us started with a careful hold, even the plastic trash bins that lay there were picked with the greatest of care I could never imagine from this monster, but reality set itself back once she crushed whatever she had caught, as soon as the contact made clear she hadn't caught us yet.

Zulu couldn't handle staying in the same spot waiting for me to move, and Charlie still was too afraid to react on his own. So this time, she took it over herself to be the leader. She used a flashlight she kept on her waist to point a direction, a fire exit door, apparently the only way out of there, since the light also showed us rubble blocking every other visible path in the mall, it was our only chance. Maybe we could use it to reach the next building, while the giantess kept trying to fetch us blindly.

Zulu held Charlie by the arm, and I soon followed them, trying to look backward at the movements in the fading light consumed by darkness, the hand kept clashing with the environment, and the stand we used to hide, was reduced to nothing once it passed close to it.

Inside the fire exit, there was a corridor. Before another door, the last one we could cross. We would have to sneak a little bit in the streets before reaching the next place.

But then, dust fell over us as we heard a thunderous annoyed groan, the earth-shaking movements once again made us stop completely as the noise of broken concrete, glass, and metal increased around us before finally seemed to stop in a matter of seconds. Had she destroyed the rest of this building?

Was she gone?

The minutes passed, no more movement, no more chaos.

ーThis is my fault...Everything is my fault, I should've been more patient, I should have been more careful. ー Charlie kept lamenting, while I only could try to think what our next step would be.

ーWe have to go if she is truly gone...we can make it out of this damn city...ー Zulu was in a hurry to get us safe, the team was falling apart without someone capable of taking decisions, and for both me and Charlie it was the first time we found ourselves in such proximity to get caught by a giant.

ーWe can stay the night here...Even a few hours will do...ーI suggested, I saw nothing wrong in waiting a few hours more. Especially if we could bring Charlie to calm himself down

ーNo, if she just left, is probably going to send some cultists to search around the perimeter, and recover stuff. We would be found. It's better to go now. ー She replied before walking up towards the door, it seemed stuck at first. So she left Charlie in my care while she forced it.

I tried to give some comfort to Charlie by just giving him a small hug and some pats on his back to reassure him everything was going to be fine. That we would manage to get away, live to see another day.

After some tries, the door unlocked, Zulu released a small smile of accomplishment, and I for once felt everything had finally passed.

ーC'mon dorks, the river will be our only concern-...ー

Without warning

Without realizing

2 fingers plucked Zulu away from us to the exterior.

"Wow, I never imagined patience could work with your type..."

Her voice, booming, yet soft. Amused, and with a slight sense of cruelty. She was so close, she was right there waiting for us. She never needed to even cast a sound. How!? How something so big could be so silent!?

ーLet go! You fucking bitch! ー I could hear Zulu's screams, she was alive. For the moment. And only a chuckle escaped this self-claimed deity's mouth. She never addressed Zulu or her insults. Many, given the stories we had, would've died at that instant. But there was something weird about the situation

"I know you are in there, Aaron. Come on out now, I wish to have a word."

My face turned pale, confusion invaded Charlie's face, and Zulu's insults went to a stop.

Did she know my name?

ーAlpha...What is she talking about? ー Said Charlie, taking a few steps away from me. I stood frozen, not knowing what was happening. But I could see in the light reflecting on the ground, thanks to the gigantic eyes looming outside, he thought of betrayal, orchestrated by me.

"Come out now, or this woman dies right now."

I felt a knot in my throat, unable to speak, to answer the doubts from Charlie. Someone who I saw as part of my new family now kept staring at me as if I had planned this whole thing. As if I had sold them to the devil.

Like if I had planned for Omega to die.

I stepped out, crossing the door, greeted with those glowing white eyes, and a smile with teeth that could grind my bones into dust. She was on her knees, one hand holding Zulu in a tight fist. And her face...Now I could understand where the sense of familiarity came from.

The rain started to pour, and a lightning bolt nearby showed me, even if by a fraction of a second. The person who turned into this giant oppressor, into this monster whose tales are of death and suffering.

It was Tania, someone who I thought dead all this time, alive. One of the sparks of hope in my past life now was goddess, a merciless and terrifying one. How did she know I was there? How did she after 5 years recognize me? How could she kill Omega if she knew I was around them?

"You seem upset to see me, I thought my ascension and presence would bring you comfort."

ーYou knew her all this time!? You cultist piece of shi-Agh!ー The hand that was holding her tightened, and the smile from Tania's face vanished for a second just to look at Zulu.

"Quiet, bug...I have not permitted you to speak to him. Try that again, and your blood will be wasted in the ground."

ーDo not hurt her! Please! Tania! ー I begged, holding my gun out at her, ready to fire. But not sure if I wanted to cause anger. Charlie was peeking from the corner of the door. And my arms were trembling.

"Well, your little friends have been killing my subjects, running and taking things I never allowed you to. For how many years have you had the chance to join willingly to my new foundations?"

ーYou have killed people...Murdered in cold blood, you have a following of batshit insane idiots who worship you out of fear! I've heard more than enough to know you are far from a viable option! What about Eric? Is he one of your toys at the farm you built? ー

"Eric died a swift end when I was given this precious gift, a sacrifice for a better future I'm afraid. But so it is the life of your kind. The people from the capital city understand this. They are given everything, a perfect life, but I need their flesh and blood as well. An exchange."

ーLives...people's lives are not a thing. Eric was our friend and his death means nothing to you!? ー I was frustrated, confused, furious. To see the friend who I thought was a salvation at one point, now being the cause of my suffering, the suffering and demise of others. It was hard to believe. And even harder to accept.

"This conversation is pointless, I can see your thoughts. And you will never understand my duties or my nature. Your rebel group ends now, you are coming with me to the capital. And these pests are to never act in my lands again."

She was serious, but taking me to the capital? Why? She didn't have a reason. For all I care I could very well die like Eric and she would give zero fucks. Yet, she didn't seem reluctant to the idea of leaving me.

ーI'm not going anywhere, i-if you want me...You leave them alive, both her and the boy inside the mall. ー My voice was weak, and my grip tightened around my gun, in a futile attempt to feel safe.

"One rebel back to the capital means redemption of your ways, more than that creates a danger for the civilization I'm creating. I did promise you in past life to improve your life. This is what I'm doing now."

Zulu, as hurt as she was, remained confused about the apparent mercy Tania, the goddess who took our region, had over me. But she saw an opportunity, and her eyes as always, allowed me to get that.

ーThen let them go...They will go away, and hide, but don't harm them, a-and I will go. ー I replied. Finger on the trigger. She looked at me in disbelief, as if I was sinning by trying to negotiate. 2 things could come out of this. Either I die here along with Zulu and Charlie, or I manage to at least get Charlie out by distracting Tania long enough.

"Put down your weapon, AND THEN pick one to spare."

She said cold. Zulu already sweating, staring at me with tears in her eyes.

We both knew what our only option was. My only option. As Charlie awaited my answer. Zulu had already broken into tears but gave me a nod to go ahead with the same messed-up idea I had in mind.

Se both had to die, so he could survive.

In the end, they were like my family. Zulu and Charlie were my brothers for so many years now, and this time it was up to the oldest to make sure the young lived.

My throat hurt. My mouth was dry, tasting dust from all the rubble that almost crushed us before. And my legs felt weak.

ーYou let the boy on the building survive this...You don't kill him. You promise! ー I say with a shaky voice.

Tania's eyes sharpened towards me, she was not amused by my answer. As she expected something else. As if I had somehow disappointed her.

Her grip tightened around Zulu's body, enough to make her groan in pain, before getting lifted to an open mouth, greeted with sinister white teeth as big as a person. A pearly gate of a cave of doom.

I reassured Charlie everything was going to be fine, pushing him lightly inside the building again, repeating the same words as I hugged him, with a response born of desperation and despair. With his tears drenching my coat's shoulder. While in the background, I could hear Zulu's last words. Her body and cries fell into the jaws of the beast, and instantly his body crushing to nothing as Tania chewed her up...An echoing "gulp" being the last of our sister. I was next, needed to make sure Charlie knew what to do.

ーStay here, okay? It's going to be fine, find the camp radio, contact a group, a safe place...You will be fine. I promi-...ー My time was up.

Soon, I was plucked by 2 fingers pressing my body, quickly ending the farewell hug I had with my brother. Lifted into the skies, out of the dark.

I closed my eyes, but I was never greeted with a wave of warm humid air, nor the sight of a cavernous mouth awaiting me. Instead, I fall delicately into an open palm, eyes wide open in shock as Tania just held me there, staring at me. Thinking...

ーIf you are killing me...Don't dwell on it...Fucking do it! ー I yell, as her gaze turns to the building where Charlie hid.

She lifted her free arm. Aimed it to the top of the fire exit of the mall.

ーNo, Wait! No, NO, WAIT! ー I screamed in desperation.

I could only hear Charlie screaming before the entirety of that side of the building fell to the ground, now reduced to a pile of broken concrete and steel.

"Don't worry for him, he will survive that, after it...depends on him. And you, come with me."

I fell to my knees, as I released all the pain that I accumulated in my lungs. Silenced only by wrapping fingers, a fist that became my enclosure. No matter how much time I kicked, how much I struggled. Her skin, impenetrable, her strenght, unmeasureable.

Her steps were audible, she wanted me alive.

And I didn't know why.

I was being taken away to her capital.

Were my freedom would die.

Because my will had left me,

along with my second and last family.

[ozlices]

my mom has repeatedly dismissed the idea that she has favorites between us, and yet earlier this year she literally admitted to my face that she's prioritized my abuser over me bc she's 'going through worse stuff'.

and constantly. fucking CONSTANTLY i have to hear abt my abuser, how much she's 'changed' and 'loves me' and 'wants a relationship with me' etc etc etc

and the most draining part of all of this is that i busted my ass for multiple fucking years to finally break the shackles off and get the fuck out of here, only for a selfish, heartless, absolutely piece of utter and complete shit to damn me back here.

and now, im stuck in this cycle again. where spending EIGHT HOURS on the phone trying to get my phone shit settled, and being at my absolute fucking limit bc on top of dealing w that crap, i had to listen to my abuser and her kids screaming at the top of their goddamn lungs for the past two days, and snapping to shut the fuck up,, gets me dealing w my mother holding a grudge w me.

bc 'oh let me have kids and then maybe ill understand' IT'S LIKE THIS EVERY SINGLE FUCKING TIME SHE'S OVER HERE. AND SHE WAS LIKE THIS BEFORE SHE FUCKING HAD KIDS. THE BRUNT OF MY ABUSER WAS LITERALLY BEING SCREAMED AT AND BERATED BY HER OVER STUPID SHIT.

/IM/ THE ASSHOLE FOR BEING INSISTENT THAT SHE HASNT CHANGED ?!?!? WHEN SHE LITERALLY HASNT FUCKING CHANGED!!!?!?!?!? SHE'S /WORSE/ NOW /BECAUSE/ SHE STILL HAD KIDS ANYWAY WHEN LITERALLY EVERY SINGLE PERSON IN HER LIFE WARNED HER NOT TO BC WE ALL KNEW SHE'D BE A SHITTY PARENT. AND WOW, HUGE SHOCKER, SHE IS!!!

i made the decision when i was VERY young, but also old enough to realize just how deep rooted my trauma runs & how much it affects my responses to stress & other shit, to not have human children bc i fucking KNEW. no matter how much i try to be a nice person, no matter how good my intentions try to be, i can be very nasty. i can be harsh. i can be snappy. i can be violent. i can be completely apathetic to how my actions affect other people when i'm angry enough.

i ACKNOWLEDGE that shit. i will be the first to admit when i probably went overboard, but i am so fucking sick of being put in a position where if i dont apologize for being fucking straight up verbally, emotionally, mentally, or even physically abused, & responding to that abuse like any fucking body would, ESPECIALLY a person who has existing trauma, im an asshole.

im so. fucking sick. of being alive. this year has broken me. it really, truly fucking has. i lost EVERYTHING. i dont even have a fucking doctor. i am back in the house all my trauma happened in, damned by someone i thought was my best friend who looked me dead in my eyes a month after my daughter died in my arms & told me damning me back to the house every traumatic thing ive ever gone to 'wasnt her problem'. & having to be put right back in the cycles i brutalized myself to get out of.

and the worst fucking part is that this year has left me in such shambles from stress, i physically cannot pick myself up anymore. my alters can't pick themselves up anymore. we are all so fucking burnt out, and it is so fucking draining to lie to ourselves that hope is worth it when we had it all stripped away from us repeatedly in such brutal ways. nonstop. i swear to the moon herself, i mean it when i say not one single day this entire year has been peaceful. has been free from some degree of pain, or straight up agony.

i am tired of beating myself up for being angry. i am tired of being berated by other people for being angry. FUCK all of that shit. this year, and the shitty people who refuse to fucking offer me the same empathy they DEMAND from me, have fucking destroyed me. and i DESERVE TO BE FUCKING PISSED OVER THAT SO I FUCKING WILL BE IM FUCKING PISSED FUCK THIS YEAR FUCK MY ABUSER FUCK HER GODDAMN DEFENDERS FUCK THE BITCH WHO DAMNED ME HERE FUCK MY ENTIRE LIFE IT'S NEVERENDING BULLSHIT AND IM TIRED OF ACTING LIKE ANYTHING THAT'S HAPPENED TO ME WAS OKAY OR THAT I HAVE TO BE OKAY WITH IT!! NONE OF IT WAS OKAY!! IM NOT FUCKING OKAY WITH IT!! NOBODY FUCKING WOULD BE!!

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

[moodr1ng]

lengthy discussion of ed treatment/management under the cut but nothing triggering or specific

i think its funny that im like.. (i believe) very good at giving advice regarding eating disorders to other people.. like, i will often give detailed, multi-paragraph, nuanced advice and information on dealing with eds and give people lists of ways they can reach for help, advice on managing disordered eating behaviors as best as possible, reassurance that yes, what theyre describing is a real ed, yes they deserve help, no they dont need to get any sicker to get help, ill frequently ask people who are down on themselves or ashamed bc of eating disorders to let me have faith in them on their behalf/let them know that im proud of them even if they arent/reassure them that they are never alone with this even in the worst part of an ed when it feels like youre the only person this fucked up on the planet/celebrate their wins and improvements if they have no one to be proud of them/etc. and none of this im saying to congratulate myself like.. i am somewhat educated on this topic, i like being able to use that to help out people, im not doing anything extraordinary or praiseworthy, i just have a certain level of skill/knowledge in handling eds and so i feel its sort of a responsibility i want to take on to put that to use.

but the point is.. i can do all this for other people but when it comes to myself? i dont follow any of my advice. my relationship to food is terrible and so is that to my body. i know all this stuff, i have all these nice things to say to other people - and i can't apply any of it to myself.

and though i always encourage people to reach out to medical professionals, to nutritionists, to therapists specializing in ed, to hotlines, to ed clinics.. i have been let down by every single one of those. my nutritionist told me my eating problems are a psychiatric issue and therefore she simply couldnt help me in any way. my psychiatrist listened to me describe my ed and had no advice bc he doesnt specialize in this and cant help me. the ed clinic in my city wouldnt offer me treatment bc they only take extremely underweight patients. a nutrition/ed support clinic a friend recommended wont take me either bc im not overweight enough. i contacted an ed hotline, set up a phone appointment with the hotline worker, and got ghosted. every avenue of help i have found has said "i cant help you" or "i wont help you". and yet here i am, still telling people to seek professional support and hoping they have better luck than me..

idk. sometimes i just feel phony, yknow? like, here i am giving people all this reassuring, in-depth, affirming advice that sounds like.. wise or like i know my shit right, and then you go look at my post history on the same account and theres my post about my relapse and how profoundly i hate myself and am disgusted with myself. it makes me feel like.. me still being in the deep of the ed devalues my advice. you peek under the curtain, and the guy who talks like he has it all figured out and can help you is just as lost, scared, ashamed and miserable as you.

not sure what im trying to say. just. think about this regularly ig. i wonder how i wouldve fared in a world where i didnt get rejected from returning to the psychology course, in a world where i become someones therapist - would i have too felt like an absolute phony, a poser, if i had become a therapist while being this mentally unwell? idk. maybe. it doesnt matter now, anyway.

[sevenrs]

3, 16, 22 👀

violence ask game ; OPEN

3. screenshot or description of the worst take you've seen on tumblr

that one guy who called slugcat shipping a time paradox is literally so fucking funny, but real answers... does it have to be on tumblr? because i can think of two i hated that i saw on discord. everything ive seen on tumblr i've personally disagreed with but i wouldn't call any of it bad ANYWAYS DISCORD a pre-downpour headcanon i saw in the official server was something like. "moon is only nice to you because she suffered :) her whole experience humbled her. if she was still standing, she'd be as ruthless as pebbles" SUFFERING IS NEVER A POSITIVE FOR ANYONE! i get this is like. not a real person but to imply that suffering somehow makes someone a better person (and not a better character) is sickening. i don't see it now that dp came out but. gross gross gross and take number 2. someone went on a rant in a discord server im in about how pebbles literally did nothing wrong because everything that led up to his situation wasn't really his fault-- moon stopped him or suns gave him the pearl. whats next. it's slivers fault for dying too? YES its information that shouldnt have been given but that doesnt mean pebbles DIDNT use it irresponsibly. he did. he was killing moon. and she was rightfully trying to save herself

16. you can't understand why so many people like this thing (characterization, trope, headcanon, etc)

something my friend also dislikes but. really dont like it when people depict artificer as soft. that is a war criminal perpetuating the cycle of violence that hurt her in the first place. i understand maybe sentimental about children because its a nice thought but other then that. that is someone with cold logic to justify her ruthless violence. YES she is sympathetic. but jegus. that cat sees murder for the sake of murder as an ok thing and the soft interp of her feels wrong

also uh. different thing entirely but. sorry i really dont understand sunx x pebbles. suns is very much a mentor to him and thinking about them getting together is uncomfortable to me. its the power imbalance to me. suns x pebbles isnt problematic to me (as long as you dont like. romanticize the potential abuse! my friend has seen some of that and its gross) but its a bit umcomfy

22. your favorite part of canon that everyone else ignores

anything i say about spirituality in rain world. im not religious and i honestly don't know the % of buddhists and hindus in this fandom but the inspirations are real and do matter and you cant brush karma and reincarnation off as a "game mechanic" because a lot of it does make sense in universe. all of it? i cannot explain all of it, either because it really doesn't make sense or i don't have the knowledge to yet. but literally being able to die and come back is not just a game mechanic! it's part of the lore!

[phosphoruskim]

25. Topic that brings the most rancid discourse

9 and 10 - Worst part of fanon, worst part of canon

3 - Worst take youve seen. I dont need a screenshot, thats probably mean.

14 - What do you see in fanfic all the time?

22 - Fave part of canon that people ignore?

17 - what do you want to see more of

25. Topic that brings the most Rancid Discourse:

Honestly I'm not sure if it's 'topic' so much as like. Proximity. Which is a really heart wrenching thing to type.

(MASSIVE HEADER, I'VE BEEN IN FANDOMS BESIDES SHE RA, THIS DOESN'T APPLY TO THE MANY COOL SHE RA SERVERS I'M IN)

The most fun discord servers I've been in have had lots of different kinds of people. Really fun friendly types who were welcoming sure, but also snarky people or shy ones or others who were a little neurotic and rarely talked (me).

That leads to lots of different conversations and lots of different ideas which I think is a lot of fun for a fandom to have. But in retrospect it feels a little like there was this. Seemingly inevitable march towards division. Like small cracks keep forming as every one branches out. The internet as a whole has become pretty... discourse filled.

that doesn't exactly answer the question since the real Most Rancid Topic is like, problematicness or something. But I think division between friends in fandom hurts the most. I've started to come to the opinion that having a discord server in a fandom is like, a garden, and if you want an excellent community it probably takes some great amount of conscious effort and planning, but I'm not an expert in that

9 & 10. Worst Part of Fanon:

This isn't the 'worst' or anything but something I love about the show is how messy every one's feelings are. Glimmer and Catra practically kiss on screen (in my heart). Adora crushes on like half the girls she sees, Perfuma and Bow go on a date, Entrapta says 'its a date!' super casually. Catra blushes at scorpia etc etc

It's really fun to see the whole cast getting criss crossed in modern au's, but a lot of fanon just has them all destined for their endgame pairings from the start and I'd love to see some genuine glitra or glimmadora or scortrapta that's more than just the initial plot for something else.

Worst Part of Canon:

The worst part of canon is probably either like... Scorpia getting almost no resolution or Glimmer's season 4 plot line pretty much stopping dead in its tracks.

My real curveball opinion is that Spinerella and Netossa got WAY too much screentime in season 5!

They were pretty much entirely absent the first 4 seasons (even when glimmer was suddenly struggling with being queen.) So it was really surprising. Now, I of course loved their scenes. Extremely cute and gay, I absolutely see why they were included. But I feel there was so much to do and so little time setting up an entire arc that didn't necessarily have to be there.

14. What do I see in fanfic all the time:

(just a quick note that I've read lots of fics from really cool people I know on discord or have never met! She Ra fandom has GREAT fanfic. This isn't targeted at any one and if you're seeing this it's not about your fic!!)

TENSION AND BUILD UP FALLS APART CONSTANTLY!! for me I'm a fight scene writer and I think everyone can benefit from giving these serious attempts. When you write 3000 words of straight combat, you're forced to learn the push and pull and management of the stakes. The characters can't just yell loudly and keep going higher and higher, you need dips and crests and variety

Most fanfics don't have fight scenes (in this fandom anyways), but many have scenarios with the *pacing* of a fight scene. I consider arguments, sex, and reveals to be types of fights. They're great, but using only dialogue or straightforward descriptions will get cumbersome very quickly.

Fights teach you to pace out steps, descriptive variety, build up, all sorts of things!

Unfortunately a lot of she ra fics don't have a 'fight scene' (read: [big] argument, sex, or reveals) until late in the story. I think this causes a lot of authors to fumble their build up, moving too quickly and not lingering for dramatic effect. That's why it's important to practice 'fight scenes' so that you'll be ready for the climactic finish!

22. Fave Part of Canon that people Ignore?

CHIPPED CATRA CHIPPED CATRA CHIPPED CATRA

she rewrote my entire brain and is my discord icon and I think about her constantly but there's like a few dozen fics that have chipped catra which is heart b

17. What do you want to see more of?

mostly just wild totally out there ideas. In the course of writing this I imagined a Speed Dating AU where it's the entire cast dating each other and then being like 'hey you're cool can we-' 'TIME ALRIGHT EVERY ONE SHUFFLE' 'wAIT I WASNT FINISHED YET'.

I also want to see more of myself writing. The last several months have been nails on chalkboard!!

AND TIME.

I strayed a little bit from the questions and didnt add all the detail I wanted to but it's super late for me lmao so calling it there. Thanks for the ask and also Tipsy I will get to your other ask (the tops/bottoms headcanons one >:3c) tomorrow

[reilliane]

Hi rei

May i vent a bit?Its not abt trauma or anything like that.Its more like rambling then actuall vent

Anyways. In case your answer is yes:

REIIIIII YOU HAVE NO IDEA HOW HARD IT IS TO MAKE A GENSHIN SCHOOL AU

CAUSE WTF AM I GONNA PUT AS THEIR MAJORS/COURSES?? WHICH CLUB SHOULD I PUT THEM IN?? HOW OLD ARE THEY?? (HYV PLS SAY SMTNG ABT THEIR AGES) GODDAMN ITS SO HARD

I have to make an entire school map, Choose teachers, choose students and their grades, choose majors, clubs, friend groups, its reader insert aswell, make up a council (which should be easy if i was going with archons but noooo i just had to have favouritism and choose other ppl for it now everyone has a role except one person and i cant find any more roles sooo), make their relationships make sense (i made ei scara's sis, how the f do i explain their relationship), who has which class with who so who knows who

And the worst part? I don't have an actual full build plot, the only thing i have in mind are some random texts(like a chatfic, smau, covos, scenes, etc..) so... Yeah you can say i'm torturing myself over nothing, and i don't have the courage to share this with anyone either, like i have no friends who can understand english(its too much work to translate it) or if they do they dont know genshin, i dont have a blog either soooo yeah, its... Fun?

Anyways did you recieve my vigil ask? I think it didnt get thru my internet was glitchy and it didnt say "ask sent" i hope you did

I hope you have a wonderful 24 hours, take breaks, hydrate, eat enough, stay positive, stay healthy, stay motivated, and thx for coming to my ramble i really needed that (if you wish to i can talk abt this au more, cus i would love to share)

Ask n.9(?)

👑anon

AWRHGH FR SCHOOL AU IS A NIGHTMARE OF ITS OWN!

Especially if you plan to be highly detailed in it or it's going to be the setting for your entire fic, not a scenario/oneshot yadayada, because yes lol courses exist- and are we even gonna bring up the ages??

/LH IN DESPAIR

M'flattered you came to me for this, come, I have some virtual tea and cake whilst agony prevails. Can't lament on an empty stomach /sobbing

I hope you have a darn nice mornight too! And don't be afraid to ramble more, I love hearing my anons out 🤗💜

[blanks1275]

Hey so my feelings are high right now. I am on my period so that could be it but idk. Anyway my best friend in the whole world has a boyfriend I guess, he hasn't said really anything about him. He told me he's been keeping this relationship a secret from me, and I guess also the bf because he just told him about me today. So my friend we'll call him Steve he said "she's my closest friend" and then the bf said "that's cute" WHAT THATS CUTE WHAT THE FUCK DO YOU MEAN YOU DONT HAVE FRIENDS THAT YOU LOVE AND CARE ABOUT SERIOUSLY WHY ARE YOU SAYING THAT ITS CUTE SHUT UP WHY ARE YOU SAYING IT LIKE IM LESS THAN BECAUSE IM NOT IM THE BEST GODDAMN FRIEND ANY ONE COULD HAVE ASSHOLE LET ME LIVE MY LIFE HOLY SHIT. Anyway so I'm not a big fan of this bitch. Also my little sister is pissing me off I can't live my freaking life without her getting second hand embarrassment like sorry I'm ugly and fat it's not my fault I like to enjoy what makes me happy. The worst part is she's allowed to do whatever she wants like bark on all fours but the second I roll my eyes at something she goes crazy. Also we were watching frozen because it's a great movie who doesn't like it and she kept calling me immature which I am most certainly not immature like what. Just because you wear 4 pounds of makeup to the lake doesn't make you more mature. Watch a cartoon in a onezee okay stop acting so grown up. I've seen tiktoks saying that the younger generation is acting much older than they are while the older generation is acting "childish" I think honestly we're just trying to get back what we lost and what will the younger kids think when they blew their childhood away on purpose. I've been watching how I met your mother and I've taken a liking to Barney and Robins relationship because it just seems so right, I think they get back together but I'm not 100% on that front. I want a relationship like theirs and I have to admit it is the scenario I fall asleep to, and think about all day but that's not important. It's my sister's birthday tomorrow and we have to leave the house at 9 and it's currently 2 am so idk. Also I have a bone to pick with everyone I know and love, I LOVE to hold hands like love it. It's hard to explain but I like to hold other peoples hand like a fidget almost but no one ever wants to hold my hand and I need to find that person. I think that physical touch is one of my love languages (along with gift giving) but know one really gets that. I love hugs but I don't like hugging this is mega hard to accept but it's a thing I swear. Anyway that's all I need to say right now but again I'm on my period so emotions will be flowing k bye love you

[bitegore]

I would love to hear of your combiner blorbos. Anything about them you'd really like to talk about?

okay okay like so i am like. literally foaming at the mouth about motormaster all the time lately. for like the last two? weeks ? something like that.

anyway i love this fucking truck so much. he is awful and he sucks, and for some reason this is deeply endearing to me personally. I llove him. I have feelings for and about him. I am going to kill him to dead with my own two bare human hands and he can't stop me. because I love him.

anyway one of the things that makes the stunticons as a whole interesting to me is that they're very young, relatively speaking! they have very little life experience. they're like the terrans in earthspark (fucking psyched to see that by the way) in that they have never seen prewar cybertron, they have never spent any time outside the decpeticons on earth, and they don't really know anything about their past, their culture, their history, or, frankly, anything else. You learn from experience and most of their experience is being kind of ignored and left to their own devices when they're not being ordered to do stuff for megatron. Who's gonna teach them shit?

and like motormaster SUCKS but at least in part because he's like if you gave a 25 year old a giant sword, told him he was meant to be in charge of other people by nature, and then made sure he had zero experience socializing with anyone ever. Like they come out of vector sigma knowing how to fight, but they are not functional people. they suck and they are useless and Motormaster is in charge of them and also the worst, because he's technically an officer so he doesn't have to learn to play nice with the rank and file the same way the others do, and he also doesn't have to work with teammates to avoid getting in trouble like the others do.

Like okay listen. listen. He's stupid as fuck and he's very naive and the Decepticons say their thing is might makes right even though it's really not just might makes right and i hit you if you don't listen, right? They run around lying and cheating and stealing through most of g1 but might makes right. okay sure lord megatron totally. whatever. but this man is ten minutes old and smart as a brick. of course hes gonna buy in. Do you think he has the necessary level of experience to say "my authority figure is lying to me"?

and, like, living on might makes right alone under the thumb makes it really obvious how much of "might makes right" is nonsense, actually. Where under "might makes right" is "hey i got something you want and ill swap it to you if you cover my ass when motormaster asks who broke his cd player", you know? So much of human interaction and simple basic behavior does not fit into the paradigm and its pretty obvious IF YOU ARE UNDER IT. But Motormaster is not under it. And motormaster has no fucking friends.

like. it rots the fuck. it rots your brain. it rots your ability to relate to people when you're classing them "i could beat you" vs "you could beat me" and not "we are both people on the same side who want the same shit". it fucks your ability to socialize when everything is a power game and anything that isnt a fistfight is a prelude to what is obviously the relevant social posturing, aka, a fistfight. it fucks up your ability to even have a normal conversation when you need to hide all your insecurities so you stay on top, and make no mistake, motormaster does not even see an option outside staying on top.

like

like.

if he were older and had a little more going on under the hood id say he were afraid of not being on top but i dont think he's even grasped that that was an OPTION like. i do not think he understands what might makes right MEANS. i don't think he understands that if someone gets the better of him that he's now down under the thumb with the rest of them. I don't think he has ever thought about it. Why should he? He's stronger and they're weaker and that's the natural and correct order of these things, when would that ever change?

(When someone gets a gun, historically speaking.... not exactly a challenge for a fucking decepticon......)

like a lot of these thoughts are really so complex that i cant even communicate them properly in words i have to write fic about it to pin down what i mean. when i say i write fic instead of meta this is what i mean. the relationships the stunticons have are all like. they genuinely clearly care about each other or they would have fucking killed each other within ten minutes of experiencing each other's company i am fucking telling you. breakdown or drag strip would've done it, they're the ones with the most obvious stress lines that motormaster and the others are always pressing on. so there is some reason they haven't done it. and they all seem to really buy into the Cause and the Decepticon Line and for the most part that means they buy into might makes right. whoever strikes the first felling blow wins.

BUT IT DOESNT like the ritual fucking combat between Megatron and Starscream is clearly like

I. I don't know in g1 the violence they do on each other is actually really pretty low-key all things told. more people and more eloquent than i ahve talked about how weird it is that megatron "lets" starscream live but if you assume its pageantry for the troops to remind you that Leader is Strongest(tm) or whatever and Starscream, the only one willing to strike out against Leader, is bold enough to be second in command. when starscream really gets bold about it megatron really escalates too but that's rare for them. they don't do that often. you can sort of put it in as a ritual, it seems like it is, like it's real combat but it's a game. they're not really meaning it every single time. and its clearly on display for a REASON or starscream would just poison Megatron and be done with it. He's probably got his name in the will, you know? SIC inherits if Commander dies unless something is UP.

And we see it with TFTM too. When Megatron is dying and the Decepticons start arguing over who should be leader its couched in terms of strongest-

BUT THEY DON'T ACT LIKE THAT

THEY DON'T THEY JUST DO NOT ACT LIKE MIGHT MAKES PROPER RIGHT. THEY DO NOT. so it doesn't make SENSE to say that the whole army is like that. but its how leadership is transferred and i think it IS reasonable to say that the stunticons don't really get the pageantry yet. So they think Motormaster has to die, and it's sort of allowed, like it's not really but its how it works. And they haven't killed him yet, so there's something else there, like, despite everything they actually give a shit about this stupid idiot truck in charge of them

and i think there's another side to it, too, which is that he understands what his job and the expectations he's meant to meet are very clearly. he is in charge of his team so he represents his team. if his team fucks up that means HE fucks up. If command wants to take it up with anyone they can take it up with HIM (even though he'll go back and take that out on all four of his subordinates because he's mad and hitting them really hard is a convenient outlet. he sucks). His job is to be the guy who Command gives orders to because he is the strongest and he is the guy who Command gives punishment to because he is the strongest. He is the guy who is supposed to defend and stand up for the rest of the team because he is the strongest. Like, he definitely sees himself as like, 'earning' the right to beat the shit out of the other four by defending them from being beaten on by anyone else. If anyone tries to hassle HIS dumbfuck cars they get to fight HIM and he will hurt them until they will not do that ever again. Because that is his job. Because he is the strongest.

I think the other four know this, but like, they still resent him for the rest of it. It's not worth it. At least if they were being picked on by the rest of the faction they could lock them out. Motormaster lives with them. He's inside their heads. There is nowhere for them to go when they need a break unless he decides they deserve one. As you may imagine, no one is happy with this situation except Motormaster

except like he's NOT

he's not happy with this EITHER like you can SEE it he's so fucking unfulfilled and he thinks it's because his team gets in his way and they aren't respected enough and that might be part of it but i really don't think it is. he has no positive social contacts. He has his team but they kind of hate and fear him more than just about anything else, even if they do care about him somewhere in there. He's too busy being competitive and keeping his spot on the pile to have friends outside the faction. And he's too conscious about who lives underneath him and is a subordinate and a target to have any friends in the rank and file. He has cut himself off from every possible angle of positive social feedback and he is too fucking naive and inexperienced to see it because as far as he knows this is just his life! this is how it's always been! why should he want different? what even is there to change?

and the answer is, like, a lot of things, but nothing he thinks is important, you know? Friends is an autobot thing, that's for losers, and he doesn't need anyone anyway. he has his team. and they have him... right?

and then the like. the other bit that gets me is that like. he has no choice. he is this way because he is, not because he chose to be. So it's hard to know what he'd be like if you gave him options. But I don't think he'd choose to be any different now that he's gotten a taste. he likes being on top too much. The minute you concede that might doesn't make right, he loses a lot of the position he has, because he has to admit that the people under him have some kind of right, too, and they can get to him and if he fucks up they can fuck him up even though they're superficially physically weaker. He's got reason to maintain these beliefs. He likes being on top of the pile and I don't think he likes feeling like there's anywhere else he might be.

anyway i am going to eat him like a fucking candy bar. i love him. he sucks.

[intheeyesofjustice]

Hello my bloglings, been a while, see you child lol

Anyways the Aubrey winter lodge happened, its actually called Aubrey wotzic lodge not winter lodge so that was a surprise. It was so much fun like top 3 things ever, I wore my coziest things like sweatpants and a long sleeve thing I dont even know what it was called and slippers too of course. Omg it was so awsome they had a great hill that we went down like 20 times it was very tiring to get up all the way, and the snow was cool like snow always is, in the morning it was the best since it was so fluffy, I got to hang with my besie from the westie, like pacific northwestie, aka my svalbardian brother, also czechoczechozki was there he was a big burly Russian man, I had better pon pons than him since mine was on my head. That last part didn't make much sense, you would just had to have been there.

Ok so its saint patties today and nobody told me I found out in second period which is weird cause in first period we spent the entire class talking about holidays, but I didnt wear any green so that sucks.

I want to go to the library and get a book, its weird to see that typed out so last night at like 11 I was browsing YouTube and there was this channel I started watching and I basically fell into the "hard" science fiction rabbit hole, I love the idea of not just thousands but millions of years from now where earth is long destroyed or maybe just forgotten about and humanity looks and acts completely different, or they've ascended into like godlike beings I remember this really cool piece of art that depicted this it was cool I will send it if I see it again. Im probably describing this terribly anyways this youtube guy is talking about a book series called "remembrance of earths past" which i mean talk about a cool name, its apparently about cosmic horror and stuff I didnt want to get spoiled too much, so I am going there after school, I am excited.

Hmm, yknow whats weird the last weekends I've been seeing friends including hopefully next weekend, it is pretty fun, I'm even planning of having another carty, though I still do want to hang with people more, but this is a good start I think.

I dont like that I can't talk about serious or even semi serious things irl I've been trying to get better at it by talking about serious things with my mom and some friends but if the other person brings up something serious I basically just stop talking or say "wow" and stop talking, like no support or even a "thats terrible" just silence and then it gets awkward and they change the subject, sometimes I even change the subject even though they told me something they probbably haven't told many people, I dont want to its just all subcontious.

I dont like math, I need this spring break, it is the first class I've ever been failing in, my mom thinks I should be outraged and try everything i can to grt it up but I dont really care tbh im just focusing on other classes

Back to the weekend I think Alex and I might go up to skyline which is cool since well skyline is cool i had a friend who talks about how she goes up there it would be funny if we ran into her. Noone else even responded to him so they obvz dont want to go. My main worry is Alex cause he just got his license and dont get me wrong I like him but I dont know if I would trust him to drive, even if he is constantly talking about how good he is at it, but he offered whats the worst that can happen 😢.

Goodbye my bloglings this may be the last time we speak.

[ablackfangirlwrites]

A/n: A new chapter for those of you who were waiting for this! I hope you enjoy it 💕🖤💕 again tagging @ayocee because you were a big help in making this love u boo😘

Part 1

Part 2

“You are too damn cute,” Daichi said breathlessly as he kissed you against the library bookshelf.

You couldn’t help but giggle, “Daichi- you’re going to get u-us in trouble.” You said inbetween his kisses, But he didn’t seem to care as he pushed up closer against you and deepened the kiss. 

That’s how the last few days had been. You had been wrapped in everything that was Daichi. And you had been enjoying every second of it. 

How did you get so lucky? Was all you could wonder. First, a random guy who is insanely hot pops up into your life and returned your precious wallet; And on top of that, he was interested in you!

And it’s been since that day you the two of you had been meeting up. 

You had been right. You did have a few classes with him. And when you saw him the next day he offered to sit next to you and walk you to your next class. To which you happily agreed.

And after a few walks around campus and late-night texting sessions, you found yourself really enjoying his company. Hints the reason why you were making out during one of your study sessions in the library 

So needless to say the two of you really really did hit it off. 

And things really had been blissful with Daichi. He really was all the things you had thought he was, handsome, charming, funny, caring. He was literally everything you wanted in a guy. 

Except there was one problem…

He wasn’t so keen on being in a relationship. 

“I just got out of a relationship Y/n…” He told you the first time you brought up being his girlfriend and making things official.

“But I do like you a lot so I can definitely see myself with you if we keep this up, ” And looking into his beautiful brown eyes you believed him. And you had hope that there was a passionate relationship in the future for you two.

“But doesn’t that upset you? It’s been like a month since you started talking. What do you wanna do? Are you going to keep seeing him? ” Your friend asked you once they knew you and Daichi had been seeing each other for a few weeks. And nothing had been declared official yet. 

“I don’t know...I mean I get why he doesn’t want to rush into anything, but I believe if I give him a little time we’ll be together...He’s a good guy.” You told her confidently. If anything you were trying to convince yourself. Maybe it was because of all those bad relationships of your past you were doubtful. "He just got out of a relationship he just needs time."

Daichi was different. He had to be. He was nice..he’s a good guy.

Her only response was a sigh, “Alright I trust your judgment. But even nice guys can have a bad side.” 

Once again you found yourself just hoping you were right. 

Things kept getting more intense with Daichi. Which was good and bad; Bad because even after seeing each other for over 3 months he still didn’t want to make it official and good because even though that was the case you still couldn’t get enough of him, he was just so good to you. He always listened to you. He was was making sure you were comfortable with him. He was literally perfect.

But you weren’t so stupid and naive, and again it might have been because of all the other times you had been used. That you had made a deal with Daichi. No sex until you were official.

The only problem with that was Daichi seemed okay with it. Make out sessions and dry humping was working for him. And he respected your boundaries, And it annoyed you to no end because the whole reason you said that was to encourage him. But that didn’t work.

There was one other issue too...His friends.

You weren’t sure if they like you or not. It wasn’t that they were mean to you either. If anything they were indifferent. Daichi talked about them all the time, making them sound fun and lively. And when you met them they all seemed great, but whenever you were around you couldn’t help but get the feeling they were all having a conversation about you behind your back. It made yoi feel uneasy. But you pushed it too the back of your mind.

“You really falling for all that? His one friend Kuroo asked you one day. After Daichi had left to do something, leaving you with his friends. Out of all of Daichi's friends he was the one that you were sure you didn’t like. As far as you were concerned Kuroo was a nerd and who was annoying and he seemed to always have something snarky to say whenever he saw you with Daichi. 

“What jealous? You can't be as charming as him?” You quipped back at him.

Kuroo snorted with an eyeroll, “Sure.”

Annoyed with his attitude you spoke up again, "Whats you deal anyway? Aren't you supposed to be his friend? Or do you just not like us together?"

Kuroo signed closings his notebook and packing up his things where he was studying, “I’m just watching this one play out. It’s a shame tho you seem nice.” He was so condensing. It was always something vague with him.  But you just roll your eyes and continue about your way, not giving his words much thought.

Having no idea what his words really meant. 

But all good things must come to an end. 

It was a random day when you saw Daichi. He had been texting you as normal all-day. And everything seemed fine. You guys even planned on seeing each other later that night to study.

But then you saw him as you were heading back to your dorm.

That itself wouldn’t have been a problem if not for the fact he told you he was still had work to do in one of his classes, and the fact you saw him with someone else. And not just anyone. Another girl.

And again that wouldn't have been a problem either if not for the fact he had his hands wrapped around her, and she him as the two of them stood there kissing in broad daylight. Not caring who saw them. Which was very different from anytime you were with him. It wasn’t like he was keeping you a secret he took you around his friends after all...but now that you were really thinking about it you never been with him kissing outside in the middle of the campus who was she?

They stopped kissing and stood there talking for a bit smiling and staring into each other eyes, just like you usually do with him and you felt the sting in your heart. You almost felt bad for just standing there watching them. Like you were invading their privacy, but they were out in public…

You wanted an answer.

You don’t know where you got the courage from but you didn’t want to be a bystander in this. So you went up to them. Praying that she wasn’t anyone serious to him. That maybe she was like you and they hadn’t been made official and you still had a chance. You still wanted hope that you and Daichi could be together. 

“Hey, Daichi!” You said in a voice that was way too high.

Daichi seemed to freeze for a moment when he saw you, “oh-Y/n...Hey..er- how have you been?” 

He really was acting like the two of you hadn’t been texting just a few hours ago. And you felt your heart sinking.

“I’ve been fine, Daichi…” You started to trail off

But the girl spoke up, “Who’s this Di?” 

He cleared his voice, “Um a girl I study with sometimes."

You couldn't believe it, Daichi didnt even have the decency to tell her your name.

Daichi seemed to pick up how that made you feel so clearing his voice he spoke up, "Y/n.."

But the girl looked at him expecting him to say more which he also picked up on, " Annnd Y/n- this my girlfriend (girls name)” He answered avoided your gaze.

You didn’t know what hurt the most that he couldn’t look at you, or that he was in a relationship when he had been leading you on all this time.

But not wanting to embarrass yourself in front of him anymore. You faked a smile, “Yeah, ummm...I-I was just asking if you had any trouble- with that problem number 4 on the test today?”  You asked him out of the blue.

Daichi seemed to sigh with relief that you weren’t making a scene, “Yeah, I did actually. But I’m sorta busy right now but we can go over it later alright?” 

You were so hurt, and you were trying not to cry, “Don’t bother...I'll figure it out” You told him before walking away.

This was a nightmare! You felt betrayed! How could he? The events of the last few minutes replayed in your head. A girlfriend? No wonder he didnt want to be in a relationship with you, he was already in one! You wished so hard that it wasnt true. That he would run after you and tell you it was a joke. That you were the one he wanted. That the last few months with him weren't a lie.

But that wasn't going to happen.

You got far enough to where you were sure they couldn’t see you before you let your emotions flow....He had a girlfriend you repeated in your head over and over again. You felt so used, and stupid. This was far worst than the other guys, Because you actually believed he was different; that he was your Mr. Perfect. 

But you were so wrong.

“Oof that was awkward,” You heard someone say besides you, you quickly tried to wipe away the tears on your face. Only to look to see it was Kuroo. Great, of course, it was him out of all people you thought.

“I bet you’re really enjoying this,” You said trying your best to sound tough as you fiddled with your clothes and tired to make yourself look like you werent crying.

But kuroo wasnt so cruel to tease you while you were clearly upset, and he knew the reason why, “Y/n, I’m sorry-” He tried to tell you but you werent listening.

"I dont need you pity kuroo," You said rolling your eyes and leaving.

 You didn’t have time to deal with another jerk. You thought you were done with them. Daichi was supposed to be a good guy. The one you could trust. The person that was going to make your life better. 

But from what you just went through and that hollow feeling in your chest, you knew how wrong you were.

[thewolfmanslayer]

Honestly the amount of people who say artists and writers should do stuff for free, or try to rip them off on comissions still royally piss me off.

I think the worst part of it is the entitlement, I dont want to make this too much about generations but a lot of commissioners are millenial/Gen z's who grew up on the "steal and pirate everything" mentality, take everything that you can because no one else is going to hand it to you. which I can get behind, when you are screwing over MULTI BILLION DOLLAR COMPANIES. NOT THE STRUGGLING ARTISTS AND WRITERS who are trying to keep food on the table as desperately as you probably are!

It's simple, you wouldn't walk into a restaurant, order food and tell the server "sorry I don't have any money, but I've got like a few thousand followers on social media, I can get your name out there, get the restaurant some exposure" NO! They don't need "exposure" they need you to pay the damn bill!

On top of that, most of these artists and writers ALREADY HAVE FOLLOWINGS. They already have thousands of people following them, waiting for the chance to get a commission, who are willing to pay for said commission, they don't need "exposure" when they're already out there! He'll even the artists and writers with a few hundred don't need it, they'll get more followers as time goes by, their skill alone will see to it.

And what is with people trying to get free art and writing? It's not going to work! You can't harass someone until they cave, trust me, you'll be long since blocked before you even have the opportunity. I don't do comissions, online anyways, but my own friends and family, people who actually know me STILL PAY ME whenever they ask for me to do art for them because they KNOW it takes TIME AND EFFORT.

How many times do we need to have this discussion???? Like when is it going to finally click that people who need to pay their bills just as much as you do AREN'T going to do this shit for free!?

Here's the thing about art and writing, that you've heard a billion times but still aren't getting; IT. TAKES. TIME. AND. EFFORT. TO. GET. DONE. the art isn't going to magically appear and the writing isn't going to suddenly write itself, if either were so convenient YOU WOULDNT BE ASKING AN ARTIST OR WRITER IN THE FIRST PLACE!

Look at that, you see that? The first picture I did back in 2012-13, the picture beside it? I did that TWO YEARS AGO. I didn't suddenly know exactly what to do, or had anything close to a god given talent for drawing (I'm not that talented). The first picture WAS THE ABSOLUTE BEST I COULD DO AT THE TIME THAT I MADE IT. In the time between these two drawings I admittedly took a break from art, but then I got back into it four years ago. EVEN STILL that was four YEARS of starting over from the basics, relearning everything, learning new things, wanting to actually improve my art.

Which, guess what, DID NOT HAPPEN OVER NIGHT. It was HOURS UPON HOURS of my limited free time as an adult drawing over and over and over and over again, every single goddamn day to get to the point that I was able to make that redraw look as good as it does in comparison. He'll, my art now puts them both to shame! Because I spent the time improving my quality!!

Now look at these artists doing comissions, they've probably put EVEN MORE of their time to get that good! They've put in LITERAL YEARS of sweat, blood, tears, frustrations and dedicated hardwork. Some did the same as me, self teaching and lots of practice, others probably had to go to school, which definitely wasn't cheap. But all of us put in that time and effort TO REACH THESE POINTS. Of being better artists, developing our styles, getting faster at drawing.

And maybe you think that this is super easy, right? That I or every other artist can just fire some art off and boom its good and done in like an hour?

FUCK. NO.

Even now it takes me several hours a day OVER MANY DAYS to make something exceptionally good! It doesn't matter how good an artist is, it still. Takes. Time.

Maybe the issue is that you don't understand how much actually goes into art, let me break it down for you, the steps that most people follow to finish ONE drawing.

-Rough draft: general character outline, get a feel for what I want to draw.

-Rough sketch: I start doing a bit of pencil to start filling in details like mouth, nose, eyes, hair, clothes. Ect.

-Penciling: I go over the rough sketch and clean everything up, maybe do some editing, this is when you can start making out all the details.

-Ink: I trace over the finished pencil with a pen tool and actually have the line art, everything looks clean, presentable, it actually looks like a character now. I'll spend time editing this and possibly redoing the inking many times over to get to a point where I like it.

-Flat color: I decide on which colors to use for skin tone, clothes accessories. Ect.

-Shading/highlights: I figure out where my light source is and how strong it is, I then apply the correct amount of lighting and shadows to the color to give it depth, I also have determine the texture of skin, clothes and accessories to make everything look real and natural.

-Blending: I smooth out the shading and highlights so that it looks more natural and isn't too hard (noticeable difference between color) so that it looks as natural as possible.

-Finish: I go over last minute details, finish any editing or corrections that need to be done. Once it's good I call it a day.

Each process is longer in length then the previous, with the exception of the final editing (as long as everything looks good) and even the rough draft can take some time. Over all this is SEVERAL HOURS of work for a SINGLE DRAWING.

So is it sinking in yet? How much is put into doing even a single character drawing? God forbid if its done with background. This isn't a "scratch a pen around and be done with it in ten minutes" kinda deal, no, this is SEVERAL HOURS OF SOMEONES LIFE BEING PUT INTO THIS

And if you still have the AUDACITY to try and wrangle free art from an artist then there's no helping you, you're just a selfish piece of shit, no question and I want nothing to do with you.

Someone might say "But I got free art/writing from.-" look I don't give a shit if someone did something for you THAT ONE TIME, these other artists and writers? Totally seperate and different people. You're one freebie experience does not, and should not apply to other artists and writers.

"But what if I really want this commission but don't have the money right now?" Well, that's tough shit. Save up and properly commission them when you can, it's not their problem.

"But what if I'm in a really bad financial situation and really want it?" That sucks, and I'm sorry, but again, not their problem. Chances are this is their only source of income and they need to make money so that they don't end up in a similar situation.

"They have a gift! They should share it!" What kind of cheap ass- LOOK, just because someone is talented or really good at something does not automatically obligate them to do anything for total strangers in anyway shape or form. These are living, breathing people, the same as you. They need to eat, they need to pay rent/mortgages, they need to pay vet bills, send their kids to college, do their taxes and everything else that YOU YOURSELF need to do. Asking anyone to spend their time doing something for free, when that something is how THEY ARE SURVIVING is beyond asinine. Not only that, this obviously isn't a hobby to them, it is very clearly THEIR JOB. Would you want to do a job where you didn't get paid at all? Doing a shit ton of work for absolutely nothing? No? Didn't think so.

"It shouldn't be about the money!" Well unfortunately, as with almost every other job, it is. We live in a world where we desperately need to make money in order to survive. That's the painful fact of the matter. If money never had to be an issue ever again then this would be a very different story. But it's not, plain and simple as can be.

Look, these people are just like you, artists and writers who are just trying to get by in a shitty ass world, using the one thing they have that let's them have an income. Leave them be, don't try and trick them, guilt them, or cuss them out when you don't get your way. Either properly comission or leave them the hell alone, plain and simple.

[misterbitches]

some thots. having a bad time so this is rougher than usual. oh well

....

i guess he really does know hiim best cos if that was my mans (man specifically cos if anyone else did that id take it more srsly) i would be like oh my god ur singing me a love song? i would love it but i woudl SCREAM in embarrassment. UNLESS it was a really deep love song that's about us dying together.

like i want to eat ur skin type of thing (drain u nirvana) lmaoa but i really like this song it reminds me of that velvet underground song (the only one i know cos of juno lmao) and nico or whatever 'i'm sticking with you)

my adhd would be out of fucking control i had to spend my time listening to this looking around i kept getting distracted by a tissue and thinking "wow this song is nice but i wish it would end bc i am getting distracted" and lo and behold i paused it and i have to pee and i know it's gonna take forever to undo this

ok about 12m later i turned it back on and they kissed and then he bit the corn then that night li chen also lost his virgin teas after watching gay porn and being like "hm interesting" and he'll be like "i see, ur dick is not medium sized"

i'm honestly gagging i cannot at this 12 year old marrying his mom

beautiful theyre beautiful

ayea you fucking psycho we do too because he was 17 and we had to witness it (or well, other people did cos i didnt watch the show even tho wayne song is [BEEEEEEEEEEEEEP BEEEEEP BEEEEP] and i want him to [BEEEEEEEP] and ppl even liked it which is fine like i get it in theory but they put this in my eyeballs so i'm gonna make fun of it bc it's fuckin DUMB lmao like i can't I CANNOT and he said "u were so persistent" BITCH UR 30??!?!???!?!?!?)capi hve it on mute and i tried to get a screencap of li chen and mu ren like together and not just his face but i cant find the timestamp and seeing their faces as they get married is literalyl traumattizing i'm like scremaing at my screen going "HE'S 5 HE'S 5 HE'S 5" and every time theyre like "we acn live forever together" like no bitch ur bones rae creaking

also is the officiator white? if anyone knows why or if that's common i'd love to know more. EDIT: HE ISN'T I JUST THOUGHT HE LOOKED LIKE MOBY FROM THAT ANGLE

anyway here

i'm almost done with this fucking bullshit and i am in a really ould mood and usu they make it a bit better but imo it's kind of....annoying i guess balancing all these story elements and introducin gother couples (even in the periphery) since the story in itself can't focus. i feel like all in all the time spent with these two is a lot more limited and we get the feel for the rship because of their chemistry as actors, irl chemistry as friends and colleagues, and hopefully being happy and working on a good set. so it isn't the strength of the writing or production.

for some reason they get like less dynamic ways of being together which i think is part of their charm, they do things their own way, but the writers really should have substantiated this more. it's really just the way everyone in the show has managed to deliver these AWFUL story lines and production decisions (like seriously who the fuck was on costume? lighting?)

like maybe hot take but all the moments that are cringe and insane in the show are not pleasant, per se, because they aren't thought out clearly. so they're not a joy to watch in the normal sense but the actors are good enough to pull it off. i didn't cringe at the talks they had because it felt like actors like acting these lines out instead of us being embarrassed for it and you CAN TELL theyre embarrassed.

this is a huge kudos to the casting director and the actors and whatever crew that actually did a good job. i don't particularly like watching bo xiang and his grandfather husband not because of the content but because i feel like, to me, they're so awkward even though they have chemistry. i don't have that issue with xing si and his rapist brother boyfriend because watching them is actually really pleasant, it's intimate. this isn't to do with the story though because when it hits you how devoid this other person is and how stupid the situation is it changes (for me, for me, for me, this is all my opinion think whateverrrr u want im not telling u 2 ok!)

so truly kudos to this cast. idk if i'm misremembering here but imo the most cast appropriate series in this was crossing the line and close to you. one is a decent atmosphere and execution (yes even with that brother story line, notice the major key differences though because that's a sincere false equivalence. they try to execute power imbalances soooo badly and then fail every time but here's one meant to shock too and it was just likelmao ok girl?)

it may not make sense to say either in a writing way or for the character to do it but i believe that whoever the characters these people are supposed to be especially those super not well written on the page still get that message aacross (yong jie's actor is a good ex. not sure if i should ccongratulate him for having the worst job on earth and the worst character and his character is flat but. ostensibly they should let their actions speak for themselevs but what they do is they back themselves into a ccorner with unsuretyabout their characters or a dilemma that pops up they just want to excuse it. well guess hwat u couldnt do enough legwork. but to some extent the disposable side couple works here on a um "our eyes see them and get it" way

also to me it seems like they chose this story just to have this specific wedding. like it's a timely topic and i'm pretty sure like another provision? (correction? idk) was made WRT taiwanese same-sex marriage so it's topical but it isn't like a "papa and daddy" situation where they're interacting in it and there (for ex: the pride parade) and there being like real life terms and consequences. here it seems like they were like ah yes wedding ah yes dumb couple from modc bc we kiled off the other one sooooo (then outsource them to life love on the line u__u) then hamfisting in some fucking message which is funny bc

- despite the hints peppered in and the clear attraction they both acknowledge ur like ~not gay just him~ even tho...i mean i just. again they dont read over what they write i don't think considering. but wahtever.

- the only gay dude (verbally said) is with his rapist brother with an awful power dynamic oh or IS a rapist (gao) (or his brother but i think it was just a "im a psycho so it's him" thing unless they said it. in which case idc cos i wasnt paying attn but that's also not great) or i guess the wedding but like....that's also a ridiculously inappropriate and dumb relationship taht it's built on. i mean i don't really see much respect her so i dont particularly want to hear abt gay weddings being important when they didn't even utilize it in the story beforehand and have we ever. this is a huge indication to me that it was a reverse engineered chosen story beforehand (if it was one) or thought of

soooooo

so reversal of that....it didnt give us enough time to breathe with these two at all but for both of the actors they can capitalize what's on the page and the writers didn't. like their dynamic is very i give/you give like taking car eof each other etc that's why

again, no artist worth their salt will ever say their work meant nothing. that's a cover up. i'm sick of lazy production and then getting away with it claiming being subversive or attacking an issue by not doing anything. we show crazy shit all the time but it has a POINT and ur point is "i like the gays" then girl.....i mean it's not great

but the acting really carried it. i have a feeling if this series continues it might continue to use more experienced actors cos maybe the budget goes up but they also have less inhibitions now when it comes to acting. i like the way li chen expresss himself and teng teng too. i like anson a lot and there's some angles that did not do any favors and i think eh has to get more control of his body movements (bc he's SO LARGE and thin) but he wasn't bad at all and there were real human tears. of course i, personally, favor charles tu. he has more control over his body because he has...less to work with and he's a bit bigger and he was really great in this role. he's a himbo a bit of a meathead but you like him. you like them. there's some things i think they had them say and do that they wouldn't let happen if they stuck to the characters and the story (mainly liking that dumb idiot rapist)

what i notice is that the reprehensible actions people criticize others for in the show and in real human life lalways gets turned around. teng teng being surprised that this boy's grandfather boyfriend met him when he was a junior in high school and he's 12 years older and him apologizing for being shocked and then whatshisface going "ur better at it than most people" and then the convo about gao with whatshisface and then rapist brother comes to pick him up. they are admonishing gao but thinking that rapist brother is noble for doin gwhat he did (and oh rapist brother shows up) like the hypocrisy and the decisions are immense. so now it's like "guys see he's a great guy" like girl STICK TO SOMETHING but whatever so i live in this universe where muren and li chen do everything right and have lots of different interesting fun seex with all their friends. i would write this but i cannot i am dying