#anyway thanks for reading these lmao sorry these are such nonsense tags

[marrekeye]

Heyyy intro post!! You can call me Marrekeye/Malarkey, or Nick, doesn’t matter which.

Art is my main hobby! I’ve always wanted to start an art account but was too afraid to, so I figured I might as well start now or I never will. This acc is probably going to be mostly doodles and B&W drawings/comics since that’s what I tend to draw most! Colored pieces when I’m feeling special lol.

Mainly into CoD rn, unlucky me. 💀

I also like GK, Dorohedoro, RDR2, Transformers, and StarWars, so if you wanna chat about those too, feel free!

Ghosts, MWI/II rebooted, og MWI/II, WWII, and BOCW are all Cod games I love, so you’ll probably see content of most, if not all of ‘em. It’s a lot ik 😭

Anyways, nice to meet y’all! Expect lots of nonsense under my posts, I tend to have a lot on my mind. I’m happy to answer any questions or just talk, so feel free to drop something in my ask box! Requests are cool too but a drawing isn’t guaranteed (sorry lol). I’m a bit busy in life so I can’t guarantee consistency, but I try. Y’all’s support is always appreciated, seriously. Thank you for taking the time to interact. <3

Extra stuff:

I tend to type/come off a bit flat, sorry about that lol. I’m a very dry and sarcastic person. Just know I never mean to sound rude, please let me know if I do!!!

I’m a private person, always have been. There isn’t much personal info on my profile for a reason. I try to stay kind of anonymous for my own peace of mind! Just letting you know if you were curious lmao.

#marrekey malarkey is just a tag to keep track of answered asks/any random blurbs, btw. Stuff that isn’t art.

Alr, I think that’s about it! Thanks for taking the time to stop by and read this, and I hope you choose to stick around for my antics :)

[jefferythejelly]

debated even doing this bc i feel like i am Barely a fic writer but i got tagged by 2 people (thank u @negativepeanuthoarder and @rutadales) so i am going to be brave

Rules: Post the names of all the files in your WIP folder, regardless of how non-descriptive or ridiculous. Let people send you an ask with the title that most intrigues them, and then post a little snippet or tell them something about it! Then tag as many people as you have WIPs

couple of brief notes before i give u the list:

i have far too many wips (bc i never finish anything adsfjbdsa) so for simplicity's sake and to cut out ones that are kinda nothingburger this technically isnt All the files in my wip folder

almost all of these are nsfw in some way and several of them deal with omegaverse/mpreg/various other weird kinks. sorry if that is not ur cup of tea when it comes to fanfiction but you have been warned👍

anyways list under the readmore bc theres 17 of them so it got a little long lmao

sap unplanned pregnancy dnn to dnkn

karl gets abducted by aliens yay

subnap (that title might be a little misleading im ngl it kind of got away from me. also this is one of the oldest in there i started it may 2022 adsfjbadskjf)

funz pregnancy slash kidfic brainrot (this one is less of a fic in progress and more of a series of brainrot bullet points. but i like it a lot its very self indulgent)

dogboy foolish

funz body worship nonsense

ahaha yeahhhhh (this one is one of the few where the title is not descriptive at all. wildcard)

funz empty

yep its funz time

punznap pog

omega punz

funz new years kiss

karlnap maid outfit

wrow (another wildcard)

cdrunz eggs

karlnap chapstick

mr beast hide and seek but im in heat (not clickbait)

tagging @tinynap and anyone else reading this who wants to talk about their wips (bc i am at a loss for people to tag who have not already been tagged by a different mutual asdfbsk)

[revclver-jesus]

I see, thank you for the answer! You are the expert, if only because you are pretty much the only person willing to talk about him in general tags, as opposite to a personal ramblings on one's own blog (as I assume is done by the most, including the yours truly)! It's a walkover, if you so modestly will :D

I just wanted to clarify that I don't find him dishonest (generally speaking, at least), nor manipulative (grief-distorted attempts at well-meaningness, more often than not) and I definitely do not consider his mannerism to be fake (because it is genuine, as nothing ever slips at the rare occasions in which he appears distraught!).

What I meant is rather that theistic religiousness is a faith in The God, while Nyx is an a god. A personification of like, 21th of December 2012, or whatever else. Her cult isn't even a religious cult, it's a doomsday cult! They talk of her as of an event, not a deity.

Anyway, it doesn't ultimately matter so thanks again for the explanation and satisfying my curiosity. And my apologies for keeping you late, haha 💔

(( Haha! Oh, yeah I guess that's true. I just always have tagged my headcanons and junk on and off in the tags, on the rare chance someone out there might care to see someone talk about him, so I'm glad I could offer some opinions you found useful!

Yes, I think I would describe him as... clever and opportunistic. He's charismatic, as Atlus calls him, and he uses that to get a response he wants from people, but he certainly believes what he's doing is right, earnestly so.

But, that isn't quite the right use of that term ( though, sorry if i'm just misunderstanding you ) but monotheism is the faith in a single god, polytheism is the religious belief in many gods, but both are theistic religions. So for example-- shintoism, Japan's major religion, is a polytheistic religion with a focus on nature and generalized spirituality, it has many gods that represent concepts. It most resembles the greek/roman religion of our real life Nyx. You can worship one god(concept) out of those gods and make a shrine specifically to them. In this instance, a shrine to the goddes of darkness. The Nyx Gathering, doomsday cult though it may be, would classify as a religion just as much as say, something like Scient/ology is a religion or doomsday religions throughout history. But they are all real religious beliefs. But a cult/religion-- both interchangeable terms mostly referring to the social acceptability of the belief-- doesn't even necessarily need a traditional deity to be a religion, which is why theistic religions have a separate classification. You can worship concepts, nature, a prophecy, a person, etc, without personifying those things into higher beings.

So I hope that helps too to make sense of why Takaya is seen as pious. But no !! Thank you for even reading all that nonsense I wrote last night tbh lmao ))

[samingtonwilson]

A was an Apple Pie

previously: little blue boy / little bo peep / sticks & stones

next: it’s raining, it’s pouring

summary: sometimes you need to be comforted by a giant super soldier helping you bake pies. sometimes you need to dress sexy for halloween even if you’re ditching the party.

pairing: bucky x reader

warnings: language, a lot of pining. a lot. 

a/n: it’s been a while, i know. but here’s the next nursery rhyme one shot. it comes after sticks and stones but can totally be read on its own. all you needa know is reader is an adopted sister of pepper’s and you’re all set. did i mean to post this obviously fall and halloween themed fic right before spooky season? no but it’s a happy coincidence. anyway here’s smthn goofy and full of mutual pining!  

also! i'm gonna discontinue my tag list after this and start a new one because i haven’t used it in over a year and i don’t want to tag people who are over it lmao

It looks like a pumpkin patch massacre according to Tony. Charlie Brown’s worst nightmare.

Smells like a coffee shop in the throws of autumn, UGG boots and sleep-deprived sorority pledges.

Only a little less cloying than a candle store after Thanksgiving.

“Tastes like it could use some sugar.”

The spoon is slapped out of Tony’s fingers with a hand blanketed in pulp. He gasps. Exaggeratedly. Dramatically.

So dramatic in fact, you would think he’d gone to Juilliard rather than MIT as he sets the scandalized hand against his chest, brown eyes wide. “I’m sorry, I must have missed the cultural shift which made it acceptable to be violent with people who give you valid criticism and a place to live. Slapping the hand, so to speak.”

“Valid criticism?” you repeat. You scrape the flesh of a roasted pumpkin half into a waiting food processor— the second out of the three which have been borrowed from the downstairs cafeteria and set on the kitchen island— pausing only to send him a glare. “You call that monologue of nonsensical comparisons and Peanuts references ‘valid criticism’?”

Deft hands add sugar and cream to a mug of coffee and he returns the glare with one of his own. You half expect lasers to shoot from his eyes. “You call that slop in the bowl over there ‘pie filling’?”

“No, I don’t. Nothing’s been added to it yet. You ate a spoonful of plain pumpkin puree,” you punctuate that revelation with a small smile. A little taunting when you bark laughter. “Ha, and they say you’re a genius.”

“They also say I’m petty. Expect a scathing call from your sister tomorrow morning, Frizzle.”

“Is ‘petty’ synonymous with ‘tattletale’?” you ask, tapping your finger against your lips thoughtfully. You lock the lid of the processor in place, flipping the pulse switch. “There’s this cute little nursery rhyme my first graders know by heart that I’m surprised you’re not familiar with.”

“What’s that, kid?”

“‘Snitches get stitches,’” is your simple reply, brow cocked and eyes narrowed. You press the on switch for emphasis, tilting your head as the noise fills the kitchen.

Holding his free hand up in surrender, he frowns. He watches as you twist open the processor bowl to run a rubber spatula through the lumpy puree. “I’ve known you to have a much gentler approach.”

You hum while fussing with the lid of the processor only to set it aside when it doesn’t twist into place. Two more tries, the lid is still askew. You attempt smacking it down with the heel of your hand, perhaps too harshly. Nonetheless unsuccessfully.

A deep breath, and you decide to regroup. Rethink your approach. “Yeah, well, my patience can only take so much.”

“Pep told me.” There isn’t an attempt at sympathetic placation. He doesn’t smile at you or widen his eyes. He doesn’t tilt his head. He offers you a nonchalant, run-of-the-mill frown and shrug. And for that, you’re infinitely grateful. “Want me to send in the Legion?”

“So he can accuse me of overreacting? No thanks.” Finally, the lid twists into place and you send Tony a wry smile as you add, “Sending in ol’ Jolly Green should do the trick.”

Tony grins as he lowers his cup. “We might just scare him out of trying to climb the ladder and give him a permanent fear of heights altogether.”

A brief chuckle and you sigh to yourself. You pulse the pumpkin into something much smoother as you say softly, “Sometimes I wonder if that’s all it was, all I was. Just a way to climb the ladder and get to you. A professional guarantee, or something.”

He gives you a sad smile, reaching over to squeeze your shoulder. He’s trying hard to school his expression into something other than pity. “I don’t think anyone would blame you for sitting the party out.”

“I would.” The puree is dumped into a third bowl, food processor pushed aside. When you notice the particular twisting of Tony’s features, you place dirty hands on the counter. Flat palms, pumpkiny fingers twitching under the urge to fidget. “I know I have nothing to prove to him— and I don’t care what he thinks. This is about me. I want to prove to myself that I’m still not hurt, or sad, or angry— that I’m over it.”

“I know I’m no Pepper,” he begins, “or so the Stark Industries board tells me— but I can watch Mamma Mia! with you until she gets back. Maybe burn a picture or two. Stick pins in a voodoo doll, curse his bloodline. Whatever it takes.”

Metal measuring spoons jingle as you pull them from a drawer, glass spice jars next. “Learn the lyrics to Lay All Your Love on Me and I might take you up on that.”

𐄁𐄙𐄁𐄙𐄁𐄙𐄁𐄙𐄁𐄙𐄁𐄙𐄁𐄙𐄁

Bucky has been trying to come with a good excuse for hours.

It’s unlocked a whole new level of self-loathing— he used to be so good at this. It’d take him less than a minute to come up with a spring basket full of excuses, no’s plump like ripe cherries that burst with reasons which left even Steve in awe.

It may just be that he’s out of practice. He hasn’t had to make an excuse in a while.

He’s sure to leave his room a few times a day. He’ll find himself at your door most mornings with a stack of worksheets you’ve let him grade to keep his mind busy and your schedule neater. He’ll sometimes go to that coffee shop Sam introduced him to for something far too expensive made with too much milk and sugar. And he’ll frequent the gym just enough so he doesn’t over- or under-do it, train the SHIELD agents only as much as he’s required.

He hasn’t missed an appointment with his government-appointed therapist in the last month. Hasn’t even skipped a briefing or one of those mandatory meetings hosted by Tony to discuss correct composting procedures— something you’ve said he’s doing at Pepper’s behest.

And now, as Sam sits at the foot of Bucky’s bed, deep brown eyes expectant and the line of his lips already skeptical, Bucky flounders for an excuse. Anything that’ll get him out of whatever in God’s name is a “boy’s night” to celebrate a successful mission.

A successful mission he did not contribute to in the slightest. Hell, you’d done more for the mission than he had by sending Steve and Sam off with GOOD LUCK cartoon kitten stickers pasted to their foreheads and sweet kisses pressed to their cheeks. But that excuse has already been deemed unsuccessful.

So he’s already tried being dry about it: “You want a boy’s night? Ask the three women who live here to stay in their rooms. Done, no need to go out.”

And he’s tried insult: “A true celebration for me would be a break from you.”

But nothing’s worked.

“You’ve been cooped up in here all day, man,” Sam says for the third time. He rips a loose thread from his sleeve, letting it flutter to the floor. And on the day after Bucky vacuumed— he oughta take a jar of beach sand and empty it in Sam’s bed. “Get some fresh air. Take a breath.”

“Fresh air? You’re goin’ to a bar. Any breath I take will be mostly secondhand smoke.”

A sigh. “What would you do here anyway?”

“I don’t know. I could train—”

Sam, loud as all hell, imitates a game show buzzer. Bucky jumps, looks over his shoulder to confirm with anyone else that he didn’t fucking imagine that. “No, you’ve already trained today. Don’t overdo it. Next.”

“I could take a nap—”

Another imitation of a buzzer. Bucky looks over his shoulder again because a million fucking people live here, where is someone when you need them to experience some absurd shit with you? “You need to get out of this room. Next.”

Bucky sighs, picks up a black denim jacket from where it sits on his desk. “Sa—”

Once more, even louder.

Exasperated, Bucky throws his arms up. “I didn’t say anything!”

“Yeah, but that jacket is ass ugly.” There’s laughter in Sam’s eyes, even as Bucky glares and tosses the jacket aside. “Wear the leather one.”

He struggles a little to get the leather sleeve past his vibranium bicep, pulling perhaps too harshly. He’s surprised the fabric hasn’t torn yet. “Maybe I got errands to run. D’you think about that?”

“Well, do you?”

“Maybe.”

Sam eyes him for a moment. Considers him for a few seconds. But concludes with, “Yeah, you don’t.”

“What, are you a fuckin’ polygraph machine?”

“No, you’re just a miserable liar.” When Sam leans forward, places his elbows on his knees, and smooths his features to something warm, Bucky knows he’s serious. Bucky knows to listen, to answer any questions honestly and free of all bickering and bantering. “You know you gotta leave this room, man. You can’t fall back into isolating yourself. Routines are nice, patterns are nice, and I’m glad you have ‘em. But you’ve gotta try and add some life to it. Somethin’ spontaneous just because you want to.”

“I don’t want to go to the bar, Sam.” He sits down at the foot of the bed as well. He runs both palms, one clammy and one just out of habit, down his lap. “Leaving the room ain’t the issue. It’s limited visibility, limited control. And it’s one of those fuckin’ days, I guess.”

“Don’t go to the bar. Steve’ll understand.” Sam stands, straightens his dark long sleeve t-shirt. “Run whatever errands you need, go for a walk, get a slice, do what you gotta to feel good and alive.”

Bucky only nods before following Sam out of the room. He shuts his door snugly behind him, doesn’t bother telling FRIDAY to leave it unlocked. He’s got his phone, a couple of bucks, gloves in his pocket. He’s good. He’ll be fine.

“Hey, maybe you’ll find a damn costume,” Sam adds as they walk down the hall and to the elevators. “You’ve only got 24 more hours before I take over.”

Bucky frowns in consideration, boarding the waiting elevator car. He shrugs with a small smile. “Could just go as myself.”

“That might be too scary, Buck.”

Bucky scoffs a laugh. He pulls his gloves on as the lift carries them to one of the common floors to retrieve Sam’s jacket and the warm smell of cinnamon hits him as soon as the doors slide open.

Tony’s voice rounds out the soundtrack of clanging spoons, a click of glass pans against the counter, and your quiet replies. Bucky thinks he may hear a sniffle or two, but doesn’t want to assume anything.

He gains confirmation, though, as he and Sam grow closer to the kitchen. You’re speaking to Tony, your movements less fluid than usual and a little frenzied. You smile at something Tony’s said, but the brightness doesn’t touch your eyes. Eyes which glisten under the overhead lights like sunrise over the Hudson. It worries him a little, right in the center of his chest.

You look up when Sam greets the two of you, your smile immediately widening and radiating your usual warmth. Something for Sam’s sake, it seems. You straighten from your hunched position leant against the counter and walk into Sam’s extended arms, your own hands— unclean with skin stained by various ingredients— held high and out of the way.

“Hi, sweetie,” you sing, laughing when Sam squeezes you.

“What’s goin’ on here? Smells incredible.” He leaves an arm around you as he pulls away to motion to the items strewn about.

“Had a lesson on estimation and now I have five pumpkins to use,” you shrug. “Figured I’d make something for my kids and you kids,” you poke a finger into his stomach and snicker when he yelps.

“Now if pumpkin pies don’t make kids stay in school…”

“Apple, too,” Tony remarks, stealing a bright green Granny Smith from the pile and pointedly taking a loud bite. “Frizzle’s outdone herself this time.”

“Some kids don’t like pumpkin!” you explain. That brightness, the one Bucky’s so used to seeing, begins to chase some of the shadows from your eyes now. “And there’s a girl with an egg allergy! I have to account for that.”

“With this much?” is Tony’s simple question, a flourish of his hand to the apples and stack of pie pans set before them.

“If Caterina is eating apple pie, then Mickey will wonder why he’s eating pumpkin. You have to give kids the option or they’ll rise up and revolt. And they outnumber me by, like, 20. Gotta be tactical— you know how it is.” You grin when Tony snorts. “Besides, they can use the leftovers to schmooze their parents into helping out at the Halloween parade. Fuck knows I don’t want to handle all that bullshit myself. Although—”

You sigh and lean against the counter again, looking at the expanse of items as well. “I might be in over my head. I don’t know how I’m gonna roll out all the dough again without my arms falling off.”

Though he has stood silently, watching and determining things for himself, Bucky finds himself instantly saying, “I can do it.”

Your eyes meet his and your head tilts. A small smile pulls at your lips and Bucky stares, ignoring the growing grin on Sam’s face. “Weren’t you going out? You don’t have to stay here for my sake.”

He shakes his head. He returns your smile with something playful. “Nah, I’m stayin’ for the sake of those students of yours getting pie.”

Your laughter is a welcome melody. “Alright, fair enough.”

Tony departs after a ruffle of your hair as you get back to working and Sam approaches Bucky with a soft smile. Bucky’s removing his gloves, setting them onto the dining table, as he opens his mouth to dole out an excuse he hasn’t thought of yet, simply saying, “I’m out of my room.”

Mercifully, Sam shakes his head. “No, man, it’s good. This is good. Have a nice time.”

Bucky resents Sam’s parting wink and resists the urge to flip him off for it. He’d smile, wide with unabashed excitement, but his mind is preoccupied. As soon as you quieted, he noticed the brightness you’d offered Sam rapidly disappear. You were working, peeling and chopping apples to set them aside with a splash of lemon juice, hands unsteady enough that he’s concerned you may peel your own skin.

He’s quick to join you, returning your polite smile with one of his own, both smiles a little halfhearted. “How long have you been at this?”

“An hour or—” tapping a wet finger against your phone screen, you look at the time and scowl, “Yikes, or five.”

He stands beside you, back leant against the counter’s edge, and you place the peeler and apple you were halfway through peeling aside to lean as well. You meet his gaze only for a moment, but it’s enough to see the sadness and exhaustion in your eyes.

He wants to ask. Wants to be there the way you always are for him. Wants to find the new hiding place of your first aid lunchbox and press some goofy Bandaids wherever you need them, wherever the pain is hiding. Instead he turns, picks up the peeler and the apple, and clears the apple of all skin in a matter of seconds.

“Easy there, Blade Runner,” you quip, watching him in poorly concealed awe. “Wouldn’t want you to peel your fingerprints off.”

“Hydra beat me to it,” he says, casual and absentminded. He waves his fingers in your face, tips scarred. “Cuts down the risk of being identified.”

You take his flesh hand in yours, fingers smoothing over his. Your touch is soft, gentle as if you’re afraid a little pressure will hurt him. Yet, despite the delicacy of the action, he feels something powerful course through him, up his spine and down his every nerve. He stares, traces your features, eyes something affectionate— wildly so.

You look up, meeting a gaze as blue and as hot as the inner core of a flame. You wrinkle your nose as you squeeze his hand. “Guess we’ll need dental records to identify you. Unless those are dentures, old man.” You both laugh, your hand releasing his when you nod to the fridge. “Take the dough out and get to rolling.”

“Yes, ma’am.”

You work silently for a while, humming and laughing and nodding as replies to his joking complaints about Steve and Sam trying to shove him out the door. He isn’t accustomed to this— being the one to speak more— but he’ll do it happily.

You break your near-silence only to tell him the thickness you want in the dough and to show him how to drape it over the pin, set it into the pan, and crimp the edges. You’re surprised at how easily he’s able to achieve neat and almost-perfect crimping, not one tear in the dough. Metal fingers are able to replicate the crimps for each of the crusts he rolls and he laughs at your incredulous stare. You’re almost jealous.

Once the pie pans are in the oven for a blind baking, you get back to the apples with Bucky’s help in chopping them this time. “You got a costume for the party?” he asks, snorting when you give him another plain look. “What? I would’ve thought you loved all that dressin’ up for Halloween shit.”

“I haven’t thought much about what to wear to Tony’s party,” you say, a special force in a stroke of the peeler, jaw clenched momentarily. You sigh it loose. “I’ve been too focused on my costume for school.”

“Anything I’d recognize?”

“Not unless you’ve seen The Magic School Bus.”

“Never heard of it,” he replies. He waits for you to hand him the apple you’ve just finished peeling, promptly chopping it in half and cutting it into slices.

“Guess I’ll have to show it to you some time.” Only a few apples remain and you’ve sped up considerably. “Do you have a costume?”

“Nah,” he shakes his head. “Sam said I have until tomorrow night to figure it out or he’ll figure it out for me. Which I’m terrified of.”

“Yeah, I would be, too,” you laugh. “What Sam has the potential to do is horrifying. You’d better get to work figuring out a costume.”

“If you help me, I’ll help you.”

Your answering smile is hesitant. “S’a nice offer. I just—” a sigh rattles behind your ribs and you look to be fighting yourself on whether or not to say something. It takes a few seconds for you to admit, “I’m kinda dreading Tony’s party.”

“Yeah? Growin’ tired of us already?” his elbow nudges your side.

A chuckle and you shake your head. “My, um— ex-roommate,” you narrow your eyes and give him a look until he understands who you’re referring to, “is going to be there. He sorta forced me to ask Tony if he could be invited. Fuck how I feel, right?”

“Want me to pay him a little visit?” Bucky offers, heart faltering in his chest when you grin at him. “Scare him outta showing up.”

“It’s fine. I should be able to see him, right? If I’m as over him as I think I am.”

Bucky turns to face you entirely. Crosses his arms over his chest as he regards you, no shortage of kindness in his eyes. “Now is this you talking, or someone else?”

“What do you mean?”

“Well, you’re the one who told me there’s no shame in not being ready to do something,” his voice is warm as a blanket, smile small and just as velvety. He knows he could make his point stronger by taking that pretty face of yours into his hands and speaking so clearly that you’re unable to consider putting yourself through something that would only bring you pain.

But friendship has boundaries. Limitations. Even if those boundaries and limitations make him feel claustrophobic these days, suffocating behind the borders and longing for something more.

He sees the coolness of your irises melt before him, the breath you take thawing the tension in your shoulders. “Where were you three days ago?”

He shrugs a shoulder. “Probably training SHIELD agents. Nothing important that couldn’t be interrupted.”

“I’ll keep that in mind for next time.”

𐄁𐄙𐄁𐄙𐄁𐄙𐄁𐄙𐄁𐄙𐄁𐄙𐄁𐄙𐄁

Bucky follows every recipe carefully. He measures each ingredient with care, an odd mixture of speed and gentleness as he stirs. He’s written the recipe out with a blue ballpoint pen on the back of a South Indian takeout menu, CARAMEL APPLE PIE written in neater handwriting than you would’ve expected right beside the reasonably-priced dosa selection. He crosses out steps as he goes, a thin line through the letters and a checkmark next to the step number just ‘cause.

He’s bent next to where you stand, nearly folded in half with his eyes squinted. Vibranium fingers hold a candy thermometer steady in a large pot of caramel and he scrutinizes the rising number. Something about needing to be at the same level in order to get an accurate reading.

“You look ridiculous.”

“Yeah?” he asks, voice strained. He looks up at you for a second, almost breaks from his serious expression at the sight of your smile. “When this shit is the perfect consistency, then tell me how ridiculous I look, okay, sweetheart?”

You roll your eyes, your sigh heavy and long-suffering. “I had no idea you were so—” you stop stirring to motion vaguely with your hands, “insufferable in the kitchen.”

Tone suggestive, he says, “Kitchen’s not the only place I’m insufferable.”

“Wow,” you snort as you resume twirling a wooden spoon through the pot. “You should make that your Tinder bio.”

He grins up at you. “It’ll have the girls linin’ up, won’t it?”

“You could fill your profile with the most ridiculous shit and I guarantee the girls will still be lining up after one look at that mug.” You reach to squeeze his cheeks between your fingers, laughing when he pushes your hand away. “Just the sweetest little face.”

He straightens and turns off the stove’s flame. He sends you a fond glare. “Sweet? I’ll accept cute, I’ll consider pretty, but sweet ain’t it.”

“Pretty, huh?” The pot is removed from the stove and set on a trivet. You stir slowly to cool it down. “Love the confidence.”

He smiles, goes to the refrigerator to remove the crusts waiting in their pans. “I own a mirror.”

Your laughter is borne of surprise, shaking your head.

He’s radiated something bright all night. Something warm as the sun, but comforting as the moon. You’ve never expected reciprocation— not from Bucky, not from anyone you care about— but to be taken care of, to receive not pity but such soft care is enough to make your heart rip itself apart and sew itself back together again.

He’s almost done cutting strips for a lattice top from the remaining dough when, with his elbow, he knocks his pen to the floor. A sigh and he crouches to retrieve it, unaware of your fingers skating through piles of stray flour, sweeping it into his hair with an inconspicuous nonchalance.

When Bucky stands, though, blue-grey eyes fallen into a glower, you know you should be afraid. You know he wants you to be, even if jokingly, but all you can do is laugh as he attempts to shake it all away. He gets flour on your clothes, dusted over your glasses and shoes, and laughs when you do, the quiet rumbles of his laughter shaking his shoulders.

“Aw,” you coo through your giggles, “look at that. I see the age now.”

“Is that so?” he combs flesh fingers through his hair, watches as the flour falls to the counter. “How’s it look?”

“Very silver fox. I’m kinda into it.” A dreamy look crosses your features, flour-coated hand against your chest. “Come up with a plan to steal millions from the Bellagio and get Julia Roberts back and I might swoon.”

He stares for a long moment, punctuating it with a defeated sigh. “I have so many conversations that I just don’t understand.”

“It’s a movie reference, grandpa,” you chirp as you pile spiced apples topped with the salted caramel into each pan, forming a neat little mountain, and pour more caramel on top.  

“Grandpa, huh?” shaking more of the flour from his hair, he narrows his eyes at you. “You’re bakin’ pies, wearing that giant sweater and those Coke bottle glasses. What’s all that make you?”

Without missing a beat, “A fuckin’ catch, that’s what.”

𐄁𐄙𐄁𐄙𐄁𐄙𐄁𐄙𐄁𐄙𐄁𐄙𐄁𐄙𐄁

“S’nice you’re doing this.”

You look up from the strips of dough you’re weaving on top of the last apple pie. Bucky eyes drift from your face to your hands when you catch his stare. “It’s not a big deal. My first grade teacher did it and I guess it kinda stuck with me. But I do wish she’d had an apple option.”

“Don’t like pumpkin?” He peers at the cooling pumpkin pies sitting a few feet away, whispering as if he’s afraid they’ll be offended.

“Not as much as apple.” Your tongue clucks when you mix up the strips and you take a deep breath to regroup. “The recipe’s sacred. It’s what kept Mom from disowning Pepper when she came home for Thanksgiving her sophomore year with blue hair. The caramel’s like the glue keeping our family together.”

“My ma had a recipe like that,” he muses. His voice is a little far off, features swimming in nostalgia as his brain uncovers a memory gone unseen for decades. “Sugar cream pie. Kept my sisters from clobberin’ each other and was the only thing Steve could keep down. She thought feeding it to him whenever he came by would fatten him up. Didn’t work.”

You smile down at the pie, fingers now expertly weaving the dough. “Your ma sounds great.”

“She was. Kind, but loud as hell. You woulda burst an eardrum after a minute of talking to her.”

“You underestimate the volume 20 six-year olds can reach.” A pair of kitchen shears in hand, you trim the excess dough from the pan. “I’m also Tony’s sister-in-law so I’ve popped an eardrum or two to AC/DC.”

“Hm,” he hums, frowning in consideration. “Maybe you could’ve survived a Barnes Sunday dinner.”

“Who knows? I’m not exactly a 1930’s, 1940’s type of woman.” Once you’ve brushed a bit of thinned honey over the exposed crust, you push the pie away and set your hands onto the edge of the counter. In a museum guide voice, you add, “This breed began popping up in the 1980’s and 90’s with notable updates in the twenty-first century. The evolution is truly amazing.”

As the evening has faded into night, he’s grown more courageous. He’s flirted openly, dusted off a part of himself he forgot was there, and can’t believe he’s done enough good in his life of spilling blood to deserve your reaction each time— all bashful smiles and sheepish giggles. It warms him so much he’s surprised he hasn’t caught on fire. So he nods. “Yeah, they didn’t make ‘em like you in my time. But don’t go thinkin’ you’d be any less of a— what’d you say? Ah, a fuckin’ catch. You’d be one in any century.”

You bite your lip to contain the laughter that bubbles from you. “That was smooth.”

“Should’ve heard the things I had to say before my brain went all Swiss cheese.” He chuckles when you cock an eyebrow. “Had some Byron, a little Shakespeare locked and loaded.”

An impressed expression and you nod. “So no one stood a chance, huh? Not against that Bucky Barnes charm.”

You’re quiet for a minute. Lost in thought until you say, primarily to yourself, “Guess if I’m such a catch, I probably have more to offer than a business connection.”

Bucky slides two of the pans onto the middle rack of the top oven, two more onto the middle rack of the middle oven, and the final pan on the middle rack of the bottom oven. You set the timer as he faces you again, clear confusion on his face. “Business connection?”

“I’m pretty sure the only reason my relationship lasted as long as it did is because of my utility as a connection to Tony.” Those Hudson at sunrise eyes meet his. “Like dating me was a networking opportunity.”

There’s a silent beat before Bucky asks, “What’d you say this guy’s name, address, and social security number are again?”

Your wet laughter aches right at that spot in the center of his chest. “Maybe I will skip the Halloween party. Wanna ditch with me?”

He tries to judge whether you’re serious or not. When he determines you are, “Do I have to wear a costume?”

“Absolutely!” you exclaim. “I will be and you won’t let a girl feel all alone like that, will you?”

“And just sit around here, dressed up?”

You scoff. “Of course not. We’re going to a museum.”

“A museum?”

“A student of mine told me about it.” Using a paper towel, you consolidate the mess of flour into a singular pile in the middle of the counter. “The Museum of Natural History’s doing a whole thing all night on the history of witches, werewolves, and vampires. And, yes, everyone is in costume.”

He remembers Sam’s advice. Something to feel good, something to feel alive. “I’ll think about it.”

Your smile almost stops his heart. “S’all I ask.”

𐄁𐄙𐄁𐄙𐄁𐄙𐄁𐄙𐄁𐄙𐄁𐄙𐄁𐄙𐄁

The pie is his.

He even wrote it on the lid. Big block letters in black Sharpie: THIS IS BUCKY’S.

But Sam’s in the mood for retribution. No one eats his ziti and gets away with it. Especially not grumpy-ass, annoying-ass, not-at-all-trying-with-his-fucking-costume-ass Bucky— who stands before Sam, black cat ears perched on his head, with his jaw fallen open in outrage.

“What?” Sam asks simply. It’s subtle, but Bucky notices the smugness. The asshole is smug.

“That was mine.”

“Oh shit, really? I didn’t see your name on it.”

Picking up the lid a mere ten inches from Sam’s fork, Bucky points at the script scrawled across the plastic. “S’right there.”

“Damn.” Sam scoops a forkful of apples, caramel, and golden-brown crust into his mouth. He chews, looking Bucky right in the eye. “Sucks that I didn’t see it.”

Bucky glares. As hard as he can. For almost a full minute. To no avail. He must be losing his touch.

“Nice ears.”

Bucky’s answering smile is drier than the Sahara. “She said wear a costume, so I’m wearing a fuckin’ costume.”

“That’s a costume? You wore that exact outfit yesterday.”

“Changed my shirt,” he notes, pointing at the black t-shirt he wears beneath his leather jacket today as opposed to the dark grey from yesterday. He walks to the kitchen to retrieve a fork from the dish basket, calling over his shoulder, “And the boots— those are different.”

Sam snorts. When Bucky sits, Sam slides the pan over without protest, brown eyes narrowed in thought. “Excited about tonight?”

In an attempt to look noncommittal, Bucky shrugs. He stabs a piece of apple with so much vigor Sam is surprised the pan doesn’t shatter. “Glad to be missing Stark’s shitshow.”

“Yeah, I’m sure that’s all you’re glad about.” Bucky doesn’t like the lilt of Sam’s voice, nor does he like the way Sam is smiling at him. Knowing and a little sly. “Not your little date.”

“It’s not a date.” Bucky sighs at the skeptical look he’s given, mouth full. “I’m serious.”

“Bet you wish it was a date.”

“That’s—” he sighs again, shakes his head. Staring at the pan, he mumbles, “That’s not the point.”

Sam’s laughter rings through the room decorated in crêpe paper bats, pipe cleaner spiders, and construction paper jack-o-lanterns— all of which Tony was gifted by your students during a visit, promising them he would share each with all of the Avengers.

Bucky grumbles an impressive variety of curses under his breath in response to Sam, the thread dying on his tongue when he turns toward opening elevator doors to see you adjust the black hood fastened to your hair, muttering your own string of curses.

The silky fabric of the long black robe you wear billows behind you, held together by the sole button at your waist, exposing the black bodysuit under. Red eyeshadow at your lower lashline, gloss and blood-like crimson over your lips, the fangs you’ve stuck onto your canines brush your lower lip when you smile at him and Sam. Brightly, “Hi, honeys.”

A low whistle blown through Sam’s encircled lips, he chuckles when you grin. “Now that’s not kid appropriate.”

“Can you imagine if I’d worn this to school today? One gust of wind and my whole ass is in the PTA’s face.” You demonstrate by flicking your robe back.

From his vantage point, the only skin revealed by the action is the portion of your legs not sheathed by thigh-high boots, yet Bucky feels a faint flutter and a warm tug low in his gut.

When your expression twists in playful haughtiness, eyes lined dark and glimmering something arrogant, his mouth goes dry. “They really missed out. Fortunately, the museum has no rules against looking sexy. I checked.”

Sam nods, tone a little dry as he states, “Well as long as you checked, Potts.”  

Keeping a neutral facial expression is an active task, Bucky’s eyes fixed on the pearlescent sheen over your cheekbones. And you don’t make the task any easier on him, tilting your head and pursing your lips when you finally take in his appearance. “That is your costume? Are you every sorority girl named Clarissa?”

Sam gives a bark of laughter while Bucky scoffs. “Who the fuck is gonna be lookin’ at me?”

“When she’s there? No one,” Sam replies. Less than a beat passes before he adds, “And in general? No one.”

Ignoring Sam, you squint at Bucky. Appraising. “If I give you five dollars will you at least let me draw on some whiskers?”  

“Five?” Bucky snorts. He takes another bite to finish off what remains in the pan and thickly, through a full mouth, “No.”

“Come on, I’m on a teacher’s salary!” You follow him from the table to the sink. “How about zero dollars and I draw on a nose, too?”

He stops washing his fork to level you with a plain look. “Who taught you to negotiate?”

“Okay, how about you pay me five dollars and I’ll make you an undead cat?”

He heads to the waiting elevator, your steps trailing behind him as you wave goodbye to Sam. “Why would I pay you?”

“It’s my makeup.”

Unable to help himself, he laughs as the elevator doors slide shut but groans as soon as you ask, “What about a tail?”

“You’re not drawin’ a tail on me.”

“I meant buying a tail on the way,” you clarify with a roll of your eyes. “I have no desire to paint a tail onto your ass, Bucky.”

Employees of Tony’s go-to event planning firm fill the lobby, racing around with decorations far scarier than the glittery witch’s fingers strewn about upstairs. Floating candles glow an eerie green, typically modern furniture replaced with something more Bucky’s mother’s speed but covered in tears and spiderwebs.

An employee, short and a little squirrely, races by carrying a skeleton bridal-style, pausing to breathlessly smile at you with a, “You look great!”

You beam, bursting into laughter when the girl’s eyes shift to Bucky and her lips fall to a frown as she remarks, “You could’ve put more effort in.”

Wholly sarcastic, he smiles at her before she runs off. “How kind.”

“Even Skeleton Girl thinks you should let me paint your face,” you chirp, snagging two of the small paper gift bags set out for trick-or-treaters at reception. “If Tony put that fancy, organic, gluten-free, sugar-free shit in here like last year, so help me God— Ooh, a Twix!”

Walking through the Tower doors, you place a king size Snickers into the hand Bucky holds out to you. 

𐄁𐄙𐄁𐄙𐄁𐄙𐄁𐄙𐄁𐄙𐄁𐄙𐄁𐄙𐄁

“I think I’d fuck a vampire.”

The revelation comes after several seconds of companionable silence, completely unprompted. Bucky nearly chokes on a bite of pizza he’d just taken, forced to take a long sip of Coke Zero to help it down. He coughs, hitting his fist against his chest twice.

You sit two stairs above where he sits leant against railing and, unaware of his near-suffocation, you bite the slice in your hand. You chew thoughtfully, then nod to yourself to continue with a, “Yeah, yeah, I would. Would you?”

He meets the owlish eyes lined in black and red blinking down at him and almost laughs. He tosses what little remains of his crust into the empty box. “A vampire?”

“Yeah. Blood-sucking, eerily perfect-looking, probably around since the Victorian era.” You take another bite as you use your free hand to adjust your hood. “You could bond over being old as fuck.”

Throwing his balled up napkin, he chuckles when it hits your forehead and you bare your teeth in joking anger. “Would the vampire be dressed the way you are?”

Lounging back against the concrete stairs just outside the museum, you cross one leg over the other. “Would you want the vampire to be dressed the way I am now?”

He risks a long look down the length of you. It takes real effort to maintain a nonchalant look.

“Couldn’t hurt,” is his simple, shrugged answer as he uses a wet nap to clean between the plates of his palm.

You hum, finishing off your slice. Watching his frustration grow, his lips turned down in a scowl and brow furrowed, you sit up and mumble, “Say that to my poor feet.”

You scoot down a stair and hold your hand out, wiggling your fingers. When he looks up at you, your expression is expectant. You wiggle your fingers again.

“What?” you say when he stares blankly. Scooting down another stair so you sit beside him, you knock the toe of your boot against his shin. “Give me your hand, Bucky.”

“I can—”

Nonetheless, you reach for his hand and set it in your lap. You tear a fresh wet nap packet open with your teeth, shaking it out until it’s unfolded. His gaze is stuck on you as you hold his hand in one of yours and carefully clean with the other. Just like before, you handle him with such care, so much gentleness, it breaks his heart.

There’s an almost imperceptible hitch in his breath when your eyes meet his, so close he can see the individual grains of glitter on your eyelids. He isn’t sure how much time has passed.

You squeeze his hand, unbothered by the harshness of metal against your soft skin, and smile something small and beautiful. Artificial blood near your lips, redness under your eyes, something sharp pasted to your teeth, and so, so beautiful. He opens his mouth to say something, but shuts it just as quick from fear you’ll hear how fast his heart is beating. Racing, even though it’s fractured.

“All clean,” you tell him, tapping a fingernail against his knuckles. Your expression turns playful. “Now was that so hard? Impatient bastard.”

“Hey,” he snaps, fighting against a smile when he points a finger at your nose and you’re already laughing. “My ma was a saint.”

Scoffing, you grab his finger and pull it away from your face. You keep your hand in his as you say, “I’m glad we ditched.”

He glances at your hands. Your thumb brushes vibranium absentmindedly and he wishes it felt the same as it would on his right hand. He has to stop himself from placing his right hand in yours instead. A hard swallow and he looks up. “Yeah?”

You nod. “I wasn’t ready to deal with all of that.”

“Neither was I.”

Head tilted, you seem to be waiting for an explanation.

“Too many people, too chaotic. It’d take too long to notice something’s wrong.” He frowns. “M’ not in the headspace to sit with that worry right now.”

You nod again and a proud smile pulls at the corners of your lips a moment later. “Look at us. Recognizing our limits, setting healthy boundaries, doing what feels right.”

“Somewhere my therapist just got really smug.”

You snort. “Really sucks when they’re right.”

Nodding in agreement, Bucky looks away for a moment only to catch a man a few stairs away— middle aged, not at all paying attention to the woman sitting next to him— staring at your legs. Unblinking. Almost lecherous.  

Bucky scoffs and kicks his own leg out, pulling up the bottom of his jeans almost to his knee. He motions to his exposed calf, rolls his ankle in a slow circle until he points his toes, sends the man a questioning look, and rolls his eyes when the man sheepishly averts his gaze.

You cover your mouth to hide your snicker, tugging Bucky up with you when you stand. Hold on his hand tightening, you tow him to the trash can to toss away the empty pizza box and cups, and turn to face him as you start down the sidewalk. “You’re the most ridiculous person I know.”

“He’s lucky I’m not in a murderous mood today.”

“Why? ‘Cause you had such a nice night?” you ask in a lilting voice, grinning. “Coulda celebrated that with a li’l bit of murder.”

With his right hand, he reaches into one of his jacket’s inner pockets, pulling his serrated Gerber Mark II free from its case. Twirling the knife deftly between flesh fingers, he chuckles as your eyes widen. “I could take care’a it right now, if you’d like, sweetheart.”

You step in front of him in an attempt to hide the knife between the two of you. Unable to stop your own laughter, you struggle as you exclaim, “Put it away! Who just has that on them?”

“Occupational requirement,” he says, tucking the knife into his pocket again. “Got a lot more than just that.”

Spinning on your heel, you continue toward the subway station. “Let’s hope I never have to find out exactly how much more.”

You hold his hand the whole way to the Tower, periodically squeezing it on the A train and holding it close on the packed S line. You let go when you reach the doors, though, taking a nervous breath at the guests filtering through the lobby— some exiting, some just now arriving.

“We can turn around,” Bucky offers. He gives you a gentle smile when you look at him. “Find somethin’ else to do. Steal candy from some kids.”

Despite yourself, you snort a laugh. Another breath and you shake your head. “Nah. I’m not gonna let him chase me out of my own home. We can go up to the kitchen, take the last pie, and pretend no one else is here.”

“I finished the last one before we left.”

“No, you didn’t. I hid another one behind Steve’s leftovers and Nat’s hummus. No one goes near anything Steve’s cooked and everyone’s too scared to fuck with anything that’s Nat’s.”

He looks impressed, following you through the lobby. “That’s genius.”

You whirl around just to wink at him. “I know.”

[linked-universe-fic-finder]

Do you have any special tips on how to find fics? Also, do you know of any fics where cultural differences are a focal point? Like the time difference (and timeline difference lmao) must have given way for changes in hyrule’s culture

If you are just searching for fic you might like, AO3's tagging system is your friend. If you're are looking for a specific fic, that's a different story. A good portion of the time, I've already read whatever fic people are looking for, which helps

Usually, if you can remember a specific line or key words from the fic, you can search on google with that phrase or words in quotation marks to find the fic. Searching for things in quotation marks means that anything that comes up in the searches has to have that specific phrase in it. To make up random examples:

Linked universe fanfiction "that's impressive, smithy"

Legend of Zelda AO3 "scars" "demon" "little sister"

If i haven't read a fic before/can't remember anything specific, then I rely heavily on AO3's tagging system. Character tags, relationship tags, ect. I sometimes hesitate to use the more broad trope tags such as "Hurt No Comfort" because those can be subjective, and the author just might not have thought to use them, so the fic might not show up.

Sometimes it just takes a lot of scrolling. For example, once I got a request to find a fic where Legend and Wild were hanging out in Gerudo Town. So I filtered for their character tags, and then hit Ctrl+F, typed in gerudo, and went through every page of the results like that. (Honestly I normally don't go that far to find a fic, but I had read this one before and wanted to read it again myself, so I was very thorough.)

Sorry, that was a lot. Anyways, on to the cultural differences fics:

Friends Don’t Serve Friends Weird Milk by sister_dear - Sky and Wind have never drank animal milk before and have a bad reaction to it.

as long as we're alive, you're never on your own by mochibun - Not cultural differences, but focuses on Twilight and his relationship with his own culture

A Home for Flowers by faufaren - Cultural stuff in more in the later parts of the story. Wild has adapted many of the Korok's customs. It confuses the chain a little bit.

Feathered Freak, Winged Wonder by Mintyy_Fresh - Wild's era has a vastly different attitude towards his wings than the others do.

Chapter ten of Turtle's Linked Universe Scribbles - Differences in currency. (Thank you @bluepines for the help finding this one :))

These two aren't LU, but they were the first ones I thought of when I thought of cultural differences, so take them anyways:

what lies beneath by PennamePersona - Focuses on how different races view gender in Wild's Hyrule

Hylian Nonsense by TheLonelyJournalKeeper - Focuses on how Gorons see gender in Wild's Hyrule.

[scoups4lyfe]

Hi Karen anon here, long time no see (cause 8 just check tumblr like once a week and that just to read your liveblog. Usually i come to check it on Wed cause uhh I keep remembering the 30 hours anon lol chile anyway).

See, thanks to the newly added tags it did make my reading easier. But, I was scrolling for fun when I encountered the (excuse me if this sound rude) that mf 'interesting' anon. So pls excuse me while I put my Karen wig on

I know this is just Tumblr but people should really be professional. Your blog isnt a ship blog or whatever (though I noticed you just merely implying it sometime) so I found it really annoying that the anon attack you for something taht didnt have anything to do at all. Cause well, I will be honest. Im just interested in your blog bc of the fun af liveblog and the amazing analysis (i read the Ikki analysis so much its my bed time story/hj). And Im quite sure almost everyone who came to your blog is also come for the same reason. So what our personal ship is irrelevant to this blog (well at least thats how far I observed it)

*Taking my wig off* now that was done.

As always, I enjoy reading the live blog. Though I find it weird that in the ep 22 preview, it felt like everything go back to normal? Like Hiromi didn't just unalived down the cliff 😂. But well I will be anxiously waiting for that ep 🙏🙏

Also funny story, so I am someone who likes spoiler. So I will search spoiler on twitter first. Apparently, they all said that Daiji was useless in ep 21 and Im like "Naurr dont be mean to Daiji guysss" (bc they say that /every episode/ it basically a joke). Unfortunately, after watching ep 21 myself Daiji did feel even more....useless (this is strictly my opinion I swear lmao). Like, nah Daiji I cant defend you anymore like this 😂

Well sorry for the long af ask. Thank you for your hardwork and I will wait for the Oltecca(?) analysis. See you next week 🥰🥰 (take care of your health. The covid cases in country really spike up so hard this week 😔)

KAREN ANON????

Ayyyyy howdy buddy.

I'm glad the new tags help LOL

JDSKFJASDFJSDFDSF

THE KAREN WIG

'm glad for your wig'ed defense 🤣🤣🤣🤣 and yessssssssss

yessssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssss

I'm glad you like my analysis posts LOL!! And awh <333 it's always nice to hear y'all are having fun with the nonsense I've thrown into the abyss aasjdfjsdfjdf

AND YEAH G, I felt the SAME seeing the next episode preview. Really lol'ed cause it felt like we went back to the 'monster of the week' episodes aksdjflkjsdfj.

Tho I know the writers like to troll with us so idk I wouldn't be surprised if every other moment in that episode is just 'sibs mourning' hours. Sooooo funny too cause if it isn't,,,, and everyone's actin like nothing happened lmaooo that's STILL in character

#repress repress repress LOL

AHHHH USELESS DAIJI !!! BROOOO

soooo funny that's Daiji's pet peeve about himself too lasjdfksdf ;;;that he can't ever seem to do anything (esp when it really matters LOL!)

See, Daiji hates being the "damsel in distress" but that's all he was ever taught to be (cause Ikki and Sakura literally did everything else) and that was another big reason why he went out into the world and got some crazy asf job -- because he wanted to prove to himself too that he's able to do things on his own

but likeeeeeee, idk old habits die hard hahahaha

(Also doesn't help that in times of great stress Daiji clams up instead of being able to properly react to the situation. Aka he just shuts down.)

My homie is still learning just *how* to do things on his own, and then the Kagerou fratricide-stint really had him back-sliding in any positive development he had previously LOL!!!

My homie is the picture boy for Learned Helplessness

"People that experience repeated abuse and other aversive situations eventually learn to become helpless if nothing they do changes it. It’s as if they internalize that since nothing worked in that situation, nothing will work in similar situations, either. The trauma begins to erode two other critical aspects of mental well-being — self-efficacy and internal locus of control."

haha yoinks. Man I wish we got more flashbacks of the Igarashi sibs past cause DAMN. Pls man give me some bread in this desert.

"Self-efficacy is your level of confidence that you can tackle challenges and learn new skills. Internal locus of control is the degree to which you believe your circumstances are under your control. When these two traits are high, you feel confident and empowered, even when things get tough. Stressors seem controllable, and you know that you can trust yourself to do your best.

When learned helplessness takes over, though, you don’t feel so sure of your ability to handle challenges. You don’t believe that what you do makes a difference, and that makes it hard to see a way out — let alone a silver lining."

(These quotes are taken from: 'What is Learned Helplessness and how do you 'unlearn' It?' blog post/article)

Anyways It's obvious that Ikki's over-parenting has lead to this situation. And I think what makes it worse is that Sakura is more useful/helpful than he is.

(She wants to be seen as capable so she steps up to do as much as she can / to manage what Ikki isn't able to)

So now he's placed in the position of being especially useless LOL.

Anyways, Daiji has a lotttt of problems :')). He's literally the perfect target for cult recruitment.

(Which might be one of the reasons why he's still so quick to defend shady ass Fenix. Fenix is one of the few things he positively attributes to himself, so if Fenix is bad then that just means Daiji's failed *again* at doing the right, correct, moral, 'good', thing.

It's the *only* thing he has giving him any lick of worth. The only thing making him useful. Everything he's accomplished will go to ZILCH the moment Fenix isn't part of the 'good guys.' So,,,for him its just easier to ignore all the red flags. Cause he doesn't want to hate himself more than he already does, rip.)

[anya-grace]

Hi Anya, new shipper here !! 🤗

(Spoilers ahead. Sorry if you're not done reading the original material.)

I just wanted to ask what are your thoughts on Petra's panel in chapter 112 and Petra's last appearance in Levi's memory? I saw a lot of other (obviously the Lev*H*ns and Er*r*s) shippers claiming that Petra's at the front because she's small or tiny, and it just doesn't makes sense for me you know? I think she's there because she's clearly important? What do you think?

Thank you for answering this question.

hi, anon! welcome to rivetra fandom! 😊💖 we have good smut and angst fics here

my thoughts on the two panels:

✨ OMFG YES. THEY'RE MARRIED. HE REALLY LOVES HER OMG. CAN'T WAIT TILL THEY SEE EACH OTHER AGAIN AND FUCK IN HEAVEN ✨

my thoughts on your ask:

I'M SURPRISED 😳 i think this is my first time being asked something like this hahhjsjsj (this is not a bad thing, anon! i'm just surprised that's all 🤣)

i'm not really good at analyzing manga stuffs/panels so idk if i could give you a decent answer, but i think there's always a bias on how shippers see/interpret a specific panel.

as a rivetra shipper, ofc i would interpret those two panels romantically. levi and petra's lice can be on a single panel and i'd interpret that as a shipping material LMAO

you know like when we were kids and we would watch cartoons (i still watch them today tho 😂) and you picked your favorite character and someone tries to tell you that your favorite character sucks and this another character is better? yeah, that's how i think shipping is. we are devoted to our ships, just like how they are devoted to their own ships. and every single bad thing that they say about your fave cartoon character simply just cancels out in your brain. yesss, that's how i think shipping is.

so there's like a shipper filter inside our minds (LMAO SORRY I'M MAKING THINGS UP 😭)

but anyway, what i wanted to say is that you can't expect a lev/han or er/ri shipper to see those panels the same way you see them as a rivetra shipper. at the same time, they cannot expect a rivetra shipper to see lev/han and er/ri panels the same way they see them. (am i making sense? 😭 sorry anon i'm not rlly good at this genius detective manga interpretation thingy 😭)

i hope this pile of nonsense words satisfies you 🥺 if you're not comfortable seeing other ships, i suggest you block/mute their tags and read some rivetra smut to heal your heart 😊💖

[imo-chan-imagines]

『 As your boyfriend | FKBU Headcanons 』

Characters: female!reader, Kambe Daisuke, Kato Haru

Tags/warnings: Fugou Keiji Balance: Unlimited (anime), 18+, strong sexual references, fluff, angst, Haru's PTSD, headcanons, daddy kink and cockwarming (kind of?) for Daisuke, breeding kink for Haru *coughing intensifies*

⚠️ 18+ CONTENT! MINORS: PLEASE DO NOT INTERACT ⚠️

A/N: Felt like writing some more for these boys because ~holy shit~ do I love them, and I maybe went a teensy bit overboard. Oopsie! 🤭 But anyway, have y'all seen episode 6?! Let's freaking gooo! (No spoilers, don't worry) Thanks for reading! Enjoy! Imo~

Kambe Daisuke

First up: daddy kink. I know it, you know it, we all know it. So let's not beat about the bush

Quite dominant and firm with you (see: daddy kink)

But he absolutely loves spoiling you

Expensive gifts, like one-of-a-kind necklaces, seductive perfumes, satin dresses, lace underwear, etc.

He loves dressing you up and showing you off

But he also loves spoiling you in bed more like ruining, I am deceased

A lot of butt grabbing in public hnng

He likes it when you don't wear any underwear because it makes for easier quickies like bent over the sink in the bathroom at his favourite club

He likes you sitting on his lap in front of people, too aye papi

American gangster vibes, honestly

He's not really one for soppy, romantic PDA, but he loves you letting people know that it's him you want and nobody else

He loves the look on people's faces when you call him 'daddy' that grin will be the death of me

Especially the look on Haru's face, lmao. He blushed like a tomato and couldn't speak a coherent sentence for a whole hour

Hickeys. Lots and lots of hickeys. And don't even think about covering them up

Daisuke loves sleeping naked and has a habit of walking around the house in just a towel when he gets out the shower fight me

He's also completely oblivious to what it does to you

A MASSIVE bed with super soft, satiny sheets. They feel like clouds uwu

He gets HEUSC to remind him of important dates, like birthdays, anniversaries, etc.

Date Ideas: Unlimited sorry, not sorry

From fancy restaurants, to exclusive movie premieres, to late night helicopter rides to the other side of the country, Daisuke can and will pay for anything if it makes you happy

He also lets you introduce him to lots of new things, like trying different kinds of street food on dates, going rowing on the pond in the park, having a go at karaoke, renting bikes and cycling round the city, going hiking at the nearest nature reserve or wilderness, etc. adorable

He's like a curious kitten when he's trying new things, putting a lot of trust in you to guide him through it

He always looks perfect in the photos you snap, even the ones he wasn't aware you were taking, and it's a lowkey frustrating that he nearly always looks prettier than you

But it's not his fault, so you'll only pout for a little while

His face is pretty hard to read most of the time, but you eventually get used to it and pick up on all his little mood indicators

His ears move when he's happy, and you can't convince me otherwise

He'll hold your heels for you when your feet hurt on a night out

He smells of leather and sandalwood, and his kisses taste of expensive whisky and cigars

He loves it when you bite his lower lip while making out

He's kind of possessive, but in a protective way

He never thought of himself as a particularly jealous person, until one night he came back to the bar and saw some other guy hitting on you the attention was definitely unwanted on your side

It made his blood boil – clenched fists, piercing glare if looks could kill

But he managed to stay calm and maturely tell the guy to get lost, with his arm snaking round your waist

Daisuke made it very clear that it wasn't you he didn't trust. It was that he didn't trust that guy – or any guy, for that matter

His favourite ~position~ is on a table or other surface with your legs over his shoulders

He's a god at eating you out

He's a god at everything in the bedroom, tbh

Saint Laurent condoms, because he's that fucking extra I'm screaming

His hair always falls out of place when you're fucking it's so hot and cute, wtf

It's a lot of glitz and glamour on the surface, but when it's just the two of you, you know just how much you mean to him

The King of Aftercare™

He used to suck at aftercare until he properly tried it. Then he realised that he needed it as much as you did le cry

Back rubs, forehead kisses, playing with your hair, soft whispers in your ear

He holds you so tightly that it gets hard to breathe, and you can feel his heart beating hard against your back

Sometimes he likes to just stay inside you after finishing

He enjoys the feeling of you around him, and honestly, you like just feeling him being inside you cockwarming, kind of?

Soft little nuzzles with his nose in his sleep even better when he's fallen asleep while still inside you

He's not perfect, but being with you makes him try to be better

Help, my heart's so full 🤧

Kato Haru

This man is a sweetie pie, honestly

Not just boyfriend material, but husband material put a ring on it, hun

Lots of home cooking, and it all tastes so good you honestly believe he could just quit being a cop and open up a restaurant

He loves cooking with you, too. It's fun bonding time

Sometimes he stands behind you and guides your hands etc. it sometimes goes a little further, if ya know what I'm saying 👀

Knows how to do all the chores and housework, and actually does his share look at my practical hubby

Random pillow fights that turn into cuddle sessions

He talks in his sleep waaahh, so cute

Sometimes it's utter nonsense, like 'Don't let the donuts escape'

Other times, it's things like, 'I love Y/N so much,' or 'Let's have babies,' while he's holding onto you, and you just melt

Spooning. So much spooning

Lots of budget date ideas, like building pillow forts, watching sunsets and stargazing from the balcony, going for hikes and runs together, going for picnics, feeding ducks at the pond, etc.

One time, a duck chased him around the pond because he had the bread, and he had to run for 20 minutes before it gave up thank God for all that cardio

The Master of Flat Pack Furniture™ – because he takes his time and actually reads the instructions

Daisuke had a ™ so Haru needed one too

Takes good care of you on your period and actually knows about different sanitary products

He smells really fresh and clean, like Imperial Leather soap and air-dried laundry as long as he hasn't been on a stakeout, lmao

He loves taking showers with you, but like, actual showers

The first and only time you had shower sex was hot and steamy until:

1. You realised that water does not a good lube make and 2. He slipped and accidentally shoved his dick in your ass instead

You fully passed out, and he was so frantic that he bundled you into the car and drove you straight to the ER you were in just a towel, might I add

You both look back on it now and laugh, but he was genuinely scared

Shower sex = never again

But he loves it when you straddle his lap and start grinding on him bonus points if you kiss his neck and run your hands through his hair

He's a pretty vanilla boy when it comes to sex, preferring positions like missionary and cowgirl, and liking a fairly even balance of power

He got super embarrassed and flustered when he finally mustered up the courage to suggest having car sex

And then even more embarrassed and flustered when you actually ended up doing it

He was blushing so hard the entire time and came really quickly, which only added to his embarrassment but you thought it was cute

He has really sensitive nipples which you use to your advantage

He absolutely loves hates it when you send him nudes or try and sext him while he's at work, because he gets a massive boner and will either have to live with it and probably get laughed at by those goobs in the office, or deal with it in the bathroom, which feels wrong to him on so many levels

Doesn't really stop you sending them though, because whenever you do, he comes home and fucks you really well

One thing that's not vanilla about him is how much he likes cumming inside you breeding kink, welcome to the party. Please take a seat

He didn't tell you about it for the longest time because he was embarrassed about it and was afraid you'd think it was gross or something please cum in me, sir

He was so relieved when you were understanding about it and open to the idea of indulging him

But he genuinely really wants kids some day he'd be a great dad

His PTSD doesn't stop him being a good boyfriend, but he's convinced that it does

Most days he seems okay, like he's over it, even

But sometimes you'll wake up in the middle of the night and find him curled up in the bath, shaking and crying into his knees my poor baby, I can't

Excuse me while I go and cry into my pillow for a while

You're his safety net

When he feels like he's drowning, you keep his head above the water until the waves eventually calm and recede, and he can breathe again

He hates putting so much on your shoulders

But you swear to him that you wouldn't want to be doing anything else, and that you're not going anywhere

This got so angsty, my heart can't take this 😭

© imo-chan-imagines 2020

[sweetsakusa]

Dimples and Laughter

Description: Sakusa has dimples. That’s it. This is what we are talking about today.

Disclaimer: I saw a post with something similar to this where they talked about Sakusa having dimples and I forgot who did it so when I find it, I’ll tag them. Just know that’s my inspiration for this. Anyways, enjoy my first post!

Genre: Fluff, sorta marriage and parenting au, drabble, slice of life, 

Character Pairing: Timeskip Sakusa x Reader + your nine month old daughter, Rina

Warnings: none (unless babies count as a trigger warning lmao I’m really sorry), SAPPY AND ROMANTIC AF

A/N: I’m so obsessed with him

Word Count: 1.5k words

-

You roll over to your side, groaning as the sun’s rays penetrate through your eyelids, stirring from your restful slumber. You reach to feel the side of the bed where Kiyoomi normally sleeps, the sheets now cool to the touch from abandonment. You sigh into his pillow, the subtle scent of his cologne wafting into your nose. You want to stay there forever, but most of all, you want his strong arms thrown around your waist, burying into his toned chest, the warmth emanating off his frame in waves and warming your body. 

You feel yourself growing bored without his presence. You swing your legs over the side of the bed, trudging to the bathroom and turn the nob in the shower to get the hot water running. You throw your clothes into the hamper before hopping in. After showering, you grab some clothes from your closet and slip on a pair of sweats and t-shirt before tying up your damp hair. As you walk down the hall to begin breakfast, a fit of muffled laughter comes from behind a cracked door of the nursery.

Curiosity bubbles inside your chest and you tiptoe closer, leaning against the cool wood. Peeking through the small crack, the sight of your husband sitting on the sparkling clean floor, playing with your daughter, appears. A smile creeps onto your face as he holds her and lifts her up into the air and pulls her back down onto his lap. Her squeals of laughter fills your ears and Kiyoomi can’t hold back a deep chuckle, gentle and fluid, a flash of a smile flickers through his quiet laugh. Your eyes scan his handsome face, the beautiful head of curly, dark locks, obsidian eyes, his defined jawline, and the two moles above his right eyebrow only accentuates his beauty. 

You continued to watch your husband play with your daughter as another squeal of laughter falls from her lips. Slowly, but surely, the small, fond smile grows into a grin, full of genuine joy, and stretched ear to ear.

His smiles were infrequent. Occasionally, you will receive a smirk or a lipped smile that shows the tiniest indent of dimples, but other than that, Kiyoomi Sakusa rarely smiled.

Your breath hitches, absolutely dumbfounded. He’s grinning. Out of four years of dating, three years of marriage and almost a year with a child, you had never seen him beam with pure happiness until now. The dimples hidden behind his calm, nonchalant expression emerge. He has dimples, the indents on his cheeks so prominent that you are tempted to stick skittles in them and convinced that they will stay.

Understanding the rarity of this small moment, you stand there, lingering by the door and taking in every second that brilliant smile is on his face. The last thing you wanted was forget the smile that brought out the divots in his cheeks. It was like falling in love with him all over again, the feeling strangely familar, yet still foreign. Your mind spaces out, your heart swells with love, threatening to burst through your chest because your poor heart can’t take it. How is it possible that you can fall in love with him more than you already were? 

He’s difficult to read under his calm and collected demeanor. Everything is out of the blue with him, but he never fails to make you fall for his beautiful unpredictabilities. When he kisses your forehead through his mask after coming home, showering immediately and once he does, his lips will always be found on yours; when he mutters, “thank you, love,” when you hand him a cup of coffee or tea; when he purposely places your favorite mug on the top shelf of the cabinet so you have to ask him to grab it for you and he gets the chance to kiss your shoulder or cheek and hug you from behind; when you catch him staring at you and he doesn’t look away, he has a fond look of awe in his eyes, unwavering, and heat rushes up your face. 

The unpredictability of Kiyoomi only makes you hopelessly fall in love with him. It never fails to make your stomach flip at the small acts of affection he gives you, undeniable adoration he shows to you and to you only. It hits you when you least expect it and it's a wonderful surprise that renders you tongue-tied and you try to say the words, but your mind is in too much of a jumbled mess that they don’t fall past your throat. It was moments like these that left you star-struck and utterly speechless. You swear he’s going to be the death of you.

You decide to finally make your presence known. You nudge the door open, careful not to disturb their peace. 

“Good morning, Kiyoomi,” you whisper as you gently shut the door behind you. 

He lifts his head at your voice, a flicker of a smile still teasing his lips when he finally lets his face relax. “Good morning, darling.” The pet name always sends tingles across your body, making your toes curl and your heart ache.

Your daughter is still paying attention to him, her arms making motions in the air, trying to get his attention so he can lift her again. He obliges and the sweet ring of hysteric giggles fill the room once again.

You sit down next to him, your daughter’s large eyes on you now as Kiyoomi set her back down on his lap, his large hands holding her gently and rubbing her back in soothing patterns. His practicality and carefulness made parenthood look good on him.

“Good morning, Rina,” you say sweetly as you stroke the dark bunch of hair she inherited from her father.

She babbles as if trying to come up with a construction of sentences. You place a few kisses on her head, smiling at her nonsense words. Out of the corner of your eye, Kiyoomi lets his face break into a fond smile. You smile even wider.

“It seems to me that you have been using her as a dumbbell to workout,” you joke. He has been taking more days off to help you raise your daughter and she has grown even more fond of him. 

He quirks an amused eyebrow. “She isn’t heavy enough to be a weight.”

You roll your eyes. “I know that.” You hadn’t forgotten his taut, muscular figure, toned with muscle and minimal fat. 

“Have you eaten anything yet?” You ask as your thumb creates circles on his forearm, coiled with veins and tendons.

He shakes his head. “No.”

“I’ll start breakfast right now.” You start to stand up, but his calloused hand grabs your wrist, pulling you back. 

“Can I have a kiss?” He asks gingerly, his hand caressing your jaw. It was adorable when he asked for affection and it wasn’t often when he asked.

You give him more than just a kiss. You lean in, your hand rests on his shoulder and kisses him a few times. Each time you pull away, you smile against his lips as you lean in for another one.

“I love you.” The declaration of love whispered against his lips as you placed another kiss there to seal it, let it seep into his skin, make it known to him you meant every word.

“I love you, too,” he murmurs, his thumb cradling your cheek.

You break your loving gaze from your husband to your daughter, her eyes wide as she stares at the both of you, mouth slightly agape as her brain tries to register the tender action her parents just shared. Kiyoomi’s ears are brushed with a pink tinge. Still blushing after almost being together for almost ten years? You want to say, but you bite your lip to prevent them from falling.

You laugh, light and airy as you kiss her forehead. “And I love you, Rina.”

You lift yourself from the floor, walking to the door and closing it behind. You try your best to suppress the stupid grin on your face, but fail miserably. You walk to the kitchen to make yourself coffee. You open the cabinet to get your mug and realize Kiyoomi put it on the top shelf once again. Attempting to get the mug yourself is a lost cause because he absolutely forbids it in the case you might hurt yourself. 

You smile, but it falls from your face when your jaw begins to tense, letting you know you have been smiling so much to the point it hurts. Instead, you just let your lips tug at the ends. 

You fervently wish he never stops surprising you. Routine is a part of Kiyoomi’s lifestyle and he enjoys the familiarity and repetition; it brings him comfort. It is easier for him to follow a paved road than a gravel path. How much of a surprise it was for him to include you into his routine and take the beaten path instead so he can see the flowers while walking side by side with you.

Repetition and changeability contrasts with each other like black and white, yin and yang, like the cherry blossom petals dancing in the spring air and the autumn leaves floating in the cool fall breeze, but when they are put together, it creates something beautiful and Kiyoomi is the embodiment of that strange yet beautiful combination.

[loftec]

Heyyyyy girl! We haven't talked in a hot minute, but I just finished reading I Will Follow Him earlier and hadn't had a chance to comment when a friend brought the nonsense anon tumblr drama to my attention. Anyway, I'll just say you handled it much more gracefully than I ever would (and probably have in the past, lmao). And I know you have a thick skin and this isn't something that would make you stop writing, but I still just wanted to let you know that I've missed your writing. I don't know if it's just in my head, but having been around the fandom for roughly the same amount of time as you have, I've discerned patterns in terms of the way people write and even what they respond to as readers, and the cliques that get formed around those things, so that to me it feels like even the fic itself generally has eras of writing styles? Like in my head I kind of cluster people together who seem simpatico in regards to the way they write IxM, but also how they express themselves and the way stories flow, whether there's depth of emotion or not, etc, etc. Anyway, for whatever reason, true or psychological, I find myself missing an era of fic that feels gone now. Not to say that there isn't any good writing anymore, just that it's simply a different vibe. So your new fic really brought me back to that old feeling. You always defy expectations when you adapt something into your own thing, so right off the bat I was pleasantly surprised that you, knowing Johnny Castle was not a completely accurate fit for Mickey because dancing/performing and also being a big man whore with the ladies (lmao), decided to subvert that and make him someone else. And Ian was Baby, but also not. My favorite thing though is the unspoken way you really showed Ian not feeling like he belongs anywhere. He has two families and none of them feel like home. I've felt that way my whole life and it's an emotional theme that's always been highly relevant. Makes you feel like there's nowhere you actually belong or anyone you really belong with. So I loved that aspect and look forward to it being explored more in the sequel(s). I thought your ending to this part of the story was realistic, even if I teared up and felt the loss. I could imagine a bit of a time jump and them meeting in completely different circumstances down the line. Again, totally unexpected that you wouldn't even include the big dance at the end, but fucking bravo honestly, because I couldn't picture some cheesy shit where Mickey dances with Ian in front of everyone for shock value and do the lift. Lolololllll... but yeah... do people honestly think Baby & Johnny lived happy ever after once the credits rolled on the actual movie anyway??? No way in hell. Lol. They were too different in ways that couldn't be overcome back then, sorry. He was meant to be her sexual/romantic awakening, and she went on to have a freer life. That's what I think. Ian & Mickey have a lot more in common, and although they have obstacles to overcome, they ultimately will be able to understand each other, and I think, get on the same page eventually. So please, think no more of any hate-adjacent crap you got or will get for this, because you'll always have a willing audience here, and we enjoy your voice so much. 💜

Hey my friend! It sure has been a hot minute, and this is so interesting! I hadn't even really thought about it, but I think you're on to something here. I haven't really read IxM fic in a good while and I kind of just figured that it was all on me because I have changed over the years, but it makes so much sense that the fic culture would change too. The characters are different, the tone is different, the fandom is different... it stands to reason that the fic is different too. I remember how fascinated I used to be with finding demarcations of time in fic, going back chronologically through the tag on AO3. Season 1 fic felt one way, season 2 a whole other way, etc. I suppose we're yet another ring in the ever growing oak tree of this fandom, lol. We're vintage, baby! You want some of those season 5 vibes? You know where to go, these angsty oldies over here writing increasingly absurd AU in 2021, they got what you need.

All of this means so much to me, you have no idea, especially knowing some of these ideas resonated with you personally like that. I've been thinking about this dang AU for several years at this point and I'm a little bit frustrated that I didn't find a way to give the actual writing of it the time it deserved, but I guess I gave it all the time I had, in the end. So that's something. I hope to muster some enthusiasm to go back and perhaps edit it a bit more soon, or at least start working on the sequels. I was traveling with my dad last weekend and I played some of my playlists for him, telling him about all my silly research and plans, and I now have three books about Soul in the late 60s to read. So you know the next part is gonna be real approachable! 😆

I think I somehow imagined that everybody knows and loves Dirty Dancing, too? I never talked to anyone about it when I was a kid, and it's only really the last four years or so that I have started meeting people who love it, like me. And turns out it's all my friends from primary school! It's all of my coworkers (at least the women), and it's so many of my tumblr mutuals... I was halfway convinced that every single person around me was just waiting to reveal themselves as another fan. Not so much, turns out! Writing a 60s dirty dancing AU is really weird, honestly! I expected two people to read my MiB AU, and I should have had the same expectations for this one. Because that's fine! I will write what I want to write and people will read what they want to read, as it should be.

Most importantly, though. I couldn't agree more with your Dirty Dancing analysis! To me, the dancing isn't the actual ending. To me, the ending is "guess we surprised everybody" and "I'll never be sorry" and "neither will I". The dance number is just a good note Johnny comes back to end it all on, but really, the honest final note is that "I'll see ya" *saxophone solo intensifies*. I just think it's so very bittersweet and good, and I only loved the movie more when I realised this. With Ian, everything became more complicated. Clayton is no Dr Houseman, and there can be no cheesy onstage dancing, and Ian has barely had time to wrap his head around the idea of having a future at all, being himself, let alone spending it with someone he just met. The Dirty Dancing AU needed to end this way for it to truly be a Dirty Dancing AU, in my mind. The next part will be something entirely different, and operate under a different set of narrative rules... Oooh well, look at me. I'm all excited about it. I can't wait to write it!

Thank you 💜💜

[timextoxhajima]

death to 2020

cause fuck 2020 lmao

disclaimer: im usually a really brutally honest person with alot of vulgarities because that’s how strongly i feel about stuff im willing to talk about, so... brace yourself for alot of vulgarities and occasionally a word you wouldn’t understand cause it’s a singaporean vulgarity 

now where the FUCK do i start?

i started 2020 really happy, though i was still reeling from the shit relationship i was in for most of 2019. he was a cunt and we broke up in september 2019. i got attached again in feb 2020 to a guy i was seeing from late 2019. 

ANYWAY

my tumblr journey began in july (i don’t fkin remember what date it was anymore because it doesn’t matter) and long story short, tumblr has become my escape from reality. as most of you know i’ve been writing since 2014, just never touched this platform until 2016 because i was busy reading smuts WUPS but decided i wanted a more interactive platform with my readers so i ended up here. 

ANYWAY X2

below is the list of people i wna thank for making my tumblr journey so much more worthwhile, though we might not be close. i also don’t take note of my moots so im so fucking sorry if i missed you out, seriously just drop me an angry ask and ill bow down at your feet.

ANYWAY X3 LET’S BEGIN

to qiu: @stealerz

for being the little sister but like, my sunbae? LMAO uk how when a younger idol debuts but they meet an older idol that debuts later lmao yeah that’s us. i always find it honorable that you come to me for advice, and while i am known among my friends for giving great advice, i never fucking agreed because more often than not, i don’t follow my OWN advice. so qiu acts like a reminder that hey, maybe i shd stfu and listen to myself. but i really wna thank qiu for keeping me in the circle because im not one to initiate conversations (EVER) and she’s always the one talking to me about sch stuff which actually grounds me? makes me believe that school and my virtual reality can still coincide. thank you for being such an amazing friend, for being a person i actually feel close to because...? proximity? HAHAH but anyways, happy death to 2020, love. 

to yu: @lsangyeons

for trusting me so much with whatever you tell me about your life. i’m someone who doesn’t offer trust easily, and even if it does seem like i do, there are alot more things i tend to keep from people about my private life, so i know exactly how it feels to talk to someone you only know online about the things that bug us. your drawings are so fucking amazing and adorable, it’s just endearing to see that hardwork come out in something else besides writing (because that’s all ive been fkin doing lolz). i hope 2021 treats you alot better, because you deserve it. HAPPY DEATH TO 2020. 

to bella: @fullsunsays

for also trusting me with your emotional breakdowns (i hope you are alright with me saying this here because you talk about it on your acc every now and then but if you’re uncomfortable just give me a sound out and i’ll get rid of it). i just get so fking flattered because it just feels like you feel safe around me? and that? you treat me like a safe space? ion know it’s just all pretty new to me, about being in this online community. thank you for screaming with me/at me about different things, thank you for being so endearing with my shit, and i hope nothing but a better year for you. happy death to 2020, my love. 

to violet: @yunhoiseyecandy

for putting up with my nonsense every now and then and being so accepting to my feral side. i dont know if its because i know you’re an ateez stan and yknow ateez stans are usually more feral than tbz stans (idk i rlly dont) and like, i just find myself screaming to you every now and then and you’d do the same and it gives me ‘a pair of dumb feral bimbo’ vibes so, i dont know what i’d do without you, honestly. sometimes you’re the reminder that i have ateez stuff in my drafts or sitting in my laptop waiting to be published and youre a reminder that half my masterlist is also ateez content LOL. we don’t rlly talk about our private lives much but i definitely appreciate you way more than you think. happy death to 2020, vio. 

to gina: @sunlightwoo

for closing the gap so quickly! i earnestly dont remember how we got to be moots and all i remember is you screaming to me about smth and i screamed back and we just clicked from there, ion know LMAO. i love it that you’re so endearing and so patient with my shit and the stuff you write! omg. not many things make my heart flutter and BEST BELIEVE i DIED when i read your eric fic for the 12 days of christmas collab. we don’t rlly know much about our private lives and that’s alright, but i just want you to know that you deserve everything. happy death to 2020, gina!

to daisy: @sangyeon-lee

for confusing the fuck outta me when you switched from a fluffy yunho (??) mydaintydaisy to sangyeon as ur dp and sangyeon lee as ur user i was like ???? who the fuc-- OH. BUT YOU ARE SO FUCKING SWEET like i swear on GOD you are that one friend in the grp of girls that bakes cookies and give hugs and offer sweets and... give more hugs i really can’t uwu. (but now that your dp has changed i might have second thoughts hm). anyhow, we haven’t really interacted much besides in the 12 days of christmas collab gc but i just want you to know that i appreciate you in my notifs SO MUCH and i just hope we have a chance to get closer. happy death to 2020, daisy. 

to han @fleurseoul, april @tbzlvr and ri @sunwoowuvbot

for being such amazing readers, for constantly giving me encouragement, for always being my first notes or reblogs and i NEVER miss out on reading your tags like EVER because they are what keeps me going and keeps me motivated to keep writing. like, i really have no words to describe the gratitude i have. 

ANYWAY X4

below are the moots in my awareness (because im a fucking idiot ngl) that i appreciate and hope we can get to know each other better uwu

@elcie-chxn @experimentalwrites @ddadadada @chaoticdeobi @atbzkingdom @micaronn (i feel like i have a fuckload more but my goldfish brain cannot handle it lmao)

please send me an angry ask if i’ve missed you out >:(

ANYWAY x5

here’s to a better 2021, here’s to a year that’s not so much of a shitshow. here’s to the death of 2020. PEACE OUT. 

[daisylincs]

get to know me tag

I was tagged by @the-9muses, @missinglittlebritishfriend, @aleksandrachaev - thanks, loves 🥺🥺 Yours were fab!

Name/Nickname: Lily (which yes is short for something, no it's not embarrassing just very British, as Kat LOVES to mock me about)

Gender: Female

Star Sign: Virgo (and fortunately/unfortunately with all the perfectionism typical of that sign)

Height: 166cm (and nO I am not trying to convert that into feet and whatnot. Sorry, Americans, but your system makes NO SENSE. Ugh)

Time: 9:45 AM, desperately procrastinating setting into my final round of prep work for classes starting next week

Birthday: 2 September

Favorite Bands: like my wife, I'm a BIG fan of musicals, pretty much all musicals, so... Hamilton, Hadestown, Wicked, Les Mis, Moulin Rouge!, Evita, Chicago, Miss Saigon, The Phantom of the Opera, Cats, The Lion King. I'm also very into movie soundtracks, basically anything Disney or related to Lin-Manuel Miranda 😝😍

As bands go, Imagine Dragons, Florence + The Machine and ABBA are fab, too!

Favorite Solo Artists: Ed Sheeran, classical musicians do not count shut UP brain, Taylor Swift?? (hissssss @ Kat)

Song Stuck In My Head: Afterglow by Ed Sheeran

Last Movie: The Old Guard, rewatch #4. It's just SO DAMN COOL, guys

Last Show: Us (and no, not just for Iain, either, though ngl he's a big benefit. It's a great show, though, I'm loving it so far!)

When Did I Create This Blog: the 5th of May 2020, apparently! Feels like a lot longer to me, lol, but, yup, I'm a lockdown baby! 😝

What I Post: Fics, reblogs of other people's amazing creations, and occasionally random nonsense

Last Thing I Googled: "Lockdown UK live updates" - because, yes, that's what my TV show binging and spectacular denial levels lately have allll been caused by :/

Other blogs: Yes! I created and am an admin of agentsofchallenges, the Challenges of SHIELD blog we part-run from our fandom friends Discord. I'm also an admin for aos-angst-war, the blog we made for, surprisingly, the AoS Angst War (before we were smart enough to come up with agentsofchallenges, lmao)

Following: 387, apparently - w h o a, how'd that happen?? Too many amazing people out there, that's all I'm saying.

Followers: 237, which makes me think of three things immediately: one, there seems to be a sevens theme going on with "follow-" words today. Cool beans! Two, OH MY GOSH PAST TWO HUNDRED AND THIRTY FOLLOWERS Already??? Every time I look at this statistic, it's more, and my eyes want to pop out of my head. I mean, I'm SO flattered, guys, but also w t f!!! Ahhhhhhhh, it's more than a little unbelievable. (!!!) Anyway, and, three, hnsjdskhsghsjhd, I'm an awful person, I haven't even completed my Hundred Followers Celebration yet!! Better get right on that 😬🤦‍♀️🥰

Average hours of sleep: 6/7 in work-time, because teaching is a full-time job and I need to be 100% functional. In the holidays, though... yeek. Anybody's guess!! I often go to sleep in the very wee hours of the night (2, 3am) but then I'm also a lazy ass and only get up at 10, so... About the same, actually!!

Lucky number: ehhh, I don't really have one, I'm not superstitious like that, really - EXCEPT, WAIT, NO, I TOTALLY DO. Of course I do!! 42. The answer to life, the universe, and everything, my friends :D

Instruments: I play piano and violin professionally, and a little bit of cello, badly 🤣

What I Am Wearing: an old grey-green pair of drawstring sweatpants, and an oversized white sweatshirt. My isolation suit, guys!

Dream Job: ohhh, gosh, well. I've always had a passion for both music and teaching, and I've known this is what I want to do for years, so I'm kinda... in it?? Lucky me, I know, lol 🤣😍 If I could have anything, though, I'd probably want to be an actress, or a singer-songwriter. Or both!! Or, I know, a Marvel screenplay writer for the Quake/Secret Warriors alternate universe spinoff 🤣😝

Dream Trip: ohhhh, MAN, well - I'm an incurable romantic at heart, so, the Seychelles with my boyfriend? Or maybe, to be a fangirl and a romantic (which is just goals, honestly) Tahiti!! Yup, yup, that's my final answer. I want an all-expenses-paid, full-luxury trip to Tahiti - I hear it's a magical place 😝😍🏖️

Favorite Food: I've recently been visiting my family in Ireland (before lockdown screwed everything over for me UGH) so, my nan's chocolate shortbread!! The actual BEST biscuits you'll ever taste 😍😍😍

Nationality: British-Irish (yes, I have a dual citizenship, which I think is pretty wicked)

Favorite Song: Impossible. Question. And one you'll get a different answer to every time you ask it!! Currently, though, I'm going to have to say Nancy Mulligan, for all the family nostalgia and happy memories it brings up for me 💜

Last Book I Read: Ugh, this is probably the LEAST exciting answer you could even dream of, but... A2 GCSE Music Syllabus and Teacher's Guide - 2021 Revised Edition. Yeah, prepping for work SUCKS.

Top 3 Fictional Universes I’d Like To Live In: The MCU, but very specifically season 3A of Agents of SHIELD, so I could meet all my babies when they were happy(ish) and tell them how much I adore them 🥺🥺💜 Also, the Wizarding World post-the Second Wizarding War (because if I'm living in the world I'm not affected by JKR's crap). And for number three, OOH!! Storybrooke post-season 6 (and happily pretending season 7 never happens.) Yes please!!

Oooh, gosh, well, this was loads of fun, and a great distraction from work... though, in all seriousness, I should probably get to that now. Before I go, though, I'm going to tag @eowima, @que-mint-tea, @justanalto, @apathbacktoyou, @springmagpies, @maybebrilliant, @loved-the-stars-too-fondly, @nazezdha321, @besidemethewholedamntime and @fitzsimmonkeys, if any of you guys want to do this! 🥰💜

[crazy4myself]

Okay so get ready for a long ass ask, because I am ready to gush about 'No harm list' (I'm sorry in advance for it, please forgive me)

So I started yesterday because I love Mafia AU, and right from the start the story was so interesting with the fight, how she helped him but then it ended up being him helping her, and then helping each other (yay teamwork!!) And I just wanted to know how it was gonna develop!! And then there was the whole story with daewon and hoseok (who hides his secrets very well) but I mean he had to be in a gang because he literally killed the guy who killed his sister... and in my head, it was blaring alarms everywhere!!! But dumb ass reader was too much of an idiot to put 2 and 2 together... as always!!

And then they all grew on her (I mean how could you resist any of them really). I'm not gonna lie, I thought something was gonna happen with jimin... because he is the best, come on!!! He is sweet, caring, hot, intelligent, etc. (Also I don't if I was just dumb or really hadn't read correctly coz I didn't know Jin and Namjoon were thing until he woke him up with the contract in the morning, but I do have the attention span of a fly)

The characters are super interesting, especially taehyung and namjoon. The former because he's hot then he's cold (yes I just referenced Katy perry), but he has so much history and such a difficult background and there is so much potential with his character!!! Especially with the whole kissing thing from chapter 10, that was something I definitely did not see coming... And namjoon.... aaaah namjoon, I honestly dont know what to do with him!! Like I think he is intelligent and he knows what he's doing, and he's caring and then he pulls shit like with taehyung and suddenly the only thing I wanna do is strangle him!!! But he must have more things to him that explain why he's acting like that, and I wonder when we're gonna learn about his backstory and what are him into this weirdly ruthless leader that still cares.

And I'm so happy that hosoek is back to being her friend!! I was over the moon when that arrived!!!

And to finish, I really wonder how the whole kissing jungkook-kissing taehyung thing is gonna go down... is she gonna go to taehyung because she thinks that jungkook is acting like that because he's indebted?? Is she gonna go to jungkook because taehyung can be a little cold?? Is she gonna go to neither?? Is she gonna pull a weird move and kiss jimin so she doesn't have to choose?? (I know far fetched but I really want something to happen between them!!! Yes I'm acting like a 5 year old that doesn't get what she wants and constantly talks about it)

Anyway, all of that to say that I simply adore this story. I love the storyline you came up with and I can't wait to see what happens next!!! But please take care of yourself, eat and drink enough, take some breaks and sleep especially during exams season!!!

All the love from a fellow student, although I'm from another country... All the love ❤

I am overwhelmed in the best way possible this is such a kind and loving review! I’m so happy you’ve enjoyed the story thank you so much for taking the time to share your thoughts with me!!!

I don’t get ask very often and I always get so excited when I do so to get one this long is just 😭🥺💕 so let’s dive in

First off yess thank you for calling out my dumb ass for not letting the reader catch on on Hoseok was in BTS I think that’s one of my biggest plot holes, and the main reason why is bc I changed my mind abt her knowing abt BTS pretty last minute in the drafting process when I was writing last year. So some of the details in the backstory and her time with Hobi is pretty muddy. I constantly think about going back and changing it lmao but at that moment I’m content with her being dumb.

As for the shipping... I don’t plan to drag out this love triangle nonsense for too long I hate any kind friendships getting complicated over love interests, so you will have answers soon. Unfortunately, I can tell you for sure that it is not Jimin. But don’t fret! Jimin actually gets his own spin off story one day! It’s About him falling in love with an environmental activist who hires him to make bombs. It’s going to be such fun to write! You may be able to find some more details on it if you explore the tag No Harm List on my blog it might be pretty deep tho.

As for Namjin. Believe it or not you are not the first person to say you didn’t get that they were together. Which is interesting bc I feel like I leave some good hints and have them refer to each other as “lover” a good bit along the journey but that’s definitely a plot point I should go back and polish somewhere for clarity sake. Thank you for pointing it out!

As for Namjoon you’ve heard a good bit of his back story from other peoples POV like suga and J-Hope. And honestly there’s not too much more to say at the moment. The reason he is the way he is is because power is hard. It’s hard to get. It’s hard to keep. And when you’re a mob boss you need to be ruthless and sometimes that ruthlessness hurts the ones you care about. I do have to say I think he’s one of my weaker characters on the emotional spectrum. I’ve only approached big picture plot points from his POV. But I think I will challenge myself to think a bit more in his perspective and delve into his character a bit more for clarity sake.

Thank you so much for this amazing review it also gave me a lot to reflect on as well which I really appreciate!

And thank you for your well wishes I have four more exams left but I’ve taken down two and final a paper so far! So we’re going strong!!!

[scoups4lyfe]

Ahaha 😂 Im glad this liveblog only take you 16 hours lol. Also cant wait to see the last part of the hiromi trilogy, kinda excited to see it actually. Wanna see the full on angst lmao.

Also, technically Im someone that didn't care much about Hiromi as character but it really will be a shame if he just stop being Kamen Rider. Hope he can make a comeback or something.

On the other noteeee, Im guessing the Kagerou/Daiji second part gonna come soon (i hope? The actor did say we gonna see Kagerou more). My early guess is that Kagerou gonna join the siblings to fight Olteca (most likely).

Well anyway, I love your live blogs like always and my fav scene ever is definitely the 'mid-winter showcase' bc it all look cool af. Fun fact, (which I got from twitter) apparently that scene was planned last minute including all the cgi. Bc the director want to showcase all Revice form and its amazing that they could make it work in such a short time.

Ah sorry for taking too long. Have a nice day and thank you for your hard work ✨✨ (oh and also thank you for taking the suggestion about tagging the liveblog 💖💖💖)

haha you're cute <33.

Yeah I agree, I love me some good angst. Right now tho Daiji keeps being such a sus ass mfer that I can barely focus on anything else LOL!

For me ;;;; Hiromi was fun cause I'm mean and I liked to laugh at him getting dunked on (ohhh how the turN TABLES) . I Do think it would be a shame tho for Hiromi to not ever appear again,,, like damn yo. Just send him off to the countryside man. Give this dude a break.

(Of course;; that won't be as emotionally impactful to the MCs; so I guess we'll have to wait and see with what the writers decide to do, OOP)

YESSSS THE KAGER/DAIJI 2ND PART!!

Bro. I am SO fking ready. He has been SO suspicious,, I literally can't handle this. I just want to see him tip his lid. That teapot's been left on boil for FAR too long, yo.

Now for wHAT Kagerou decides to do??? I could not tell you, man. I really don't know, cause it could go either way. As of right now I feel like he'd still want to sabotage the family (well,,, mostly just Ikki tbh). So...? Idk though. Like as I said,,,,could go literally any way

Bet the writers are gonna go with the most fked up way tho

(those terrible people <333)

HAHAHA YES THE MID-WINTER SHOWCASE WAS FANTASTIC!!! Bro that BLEW my MIND!!! AND

YO, WHAT?!?!

That was planned LAST MINUTE????

These fking writers/producers YO.

And awhhh <333

Never worry about taking up too much of my time <33. You could write me 4,000 words and I'd still read all of them lovingly. Might even take a picture and hang it on my wall LOL!

And woah

KAREN-ANON???? IS THAT YOU??? !!!!

AIAIAIAIAIA!!! Haha <33. The individual ep tags were something that was a long time coming. Sorting through my own nonsense is just THEE worst lol; so if you hadn't suggested it I'd have gotten fed up with having to search for specific posts and would've done it eventually LOL

For the past liveblog episodes. I WILL, tag those. I'll make that my friday goal (because that's like,,, a whole-ass day kind-of endeavor :'DD)

I'll tell you guys when I've tagged them all.

[ssecretssanta]

@h-isforhome bro !! this is the last one !! holy shit !! :’)

MERRY CHRISTMAS, LOVE !! ✨🥰🎄 I seriously can’t believe it’s already Christmas ! (time isn’t real and no one can convince me otherwise lmao)

I read your message this morning and it literally made me tear up and I couldn’t stop smiling wow I can’t believe secret santa soul mates exist and we found each other :’) like wow can you believe that you’re also the sweetest and funniest person ever?? (my whole heart literally went like 😳💖🥺😍 when you called me babe wOw I’m a sucker for terms of endearment)

I’m a Pro at pretending that deadlines don’t exist and haha my room is already becoming a mess again bc I didn’t fold my laundry and now I have the Christmas Mess to deal with, but it’s definitely a mood booster to have a clean environment !

yeah I’m so excited for normal hours again and it’s not too bad working everyday cause the shifts are shorter ! your job sounds so fun ! I’m glad the scheduling is so flexible, that’s super nice ! I literally Could Not wake up that early lmao my sister and dad worked the early morning shift at Target for a while and I literally have No Idea how they did it ajsjakla I’d simply Die instead

me and my sister used to share a room and it was a Disaster lmao ! I put Christmas lights up all around my room and I just so happened to have a strand of rainbow lights and ofc I had to put them up around my closet for that Sweet Symbolism and I’m honestly gonna get a kick out of it when I come out to my family and point out how many hints I’ve been dropping lmao

(ALSJAKAL that family simply does not have rights !! who puts up more decorations RIGHT BEFORE CHRISTMAS??)

babe it’s mutual I guess bc you have my heart too :’) I would serenade you with some one direction songs but I simply cannot sing so I’ll have to learn the fingerstyle playing instead oR ACTUALLY I’ll play the kazoo instead of singing lmao (ukulele kazoo nonsense rights)

haha I’ve thought about watching hsmtmts but I just can’t get over how Ridiculous and Long the title is??? Like what was the Point of calling it High School Musical The Musical The Series when you could have just shortened it?? I’ve heard great things about Atypical but I haven’t watched it yet !

(literally wtf. some people just get to like See things?? without paying for it?? W A C K)

ANSBAKAL that’s so unfortunate !! (but also kind of funny ngl sorry for laughing but the image of that happening to anyone is kinda hilarious) I’m a queen of awkward situations and I’ve learned to just let myself feel Mortified for a minute and the just Repress It so I can function lmao (and then it comes back when I’m laying in bed and I can relive it and overthink my entire existence oop)

literally imagine just,,, not writing an entire essay every time we communicate?? couldn’t be me 🤷‍♀️

oh boy I Felt That. Family really is the only consistency in life, for better or for worse I guess lmao. and for real, my parents have gotten so chill and it’s nice but also frustrating bc my bro gets away with literally everything

it should be Illegal for younger siblings to be taller than older siblings tbh, it’s just not fair to disrupt the power balance like that

lmao you calling me smart made me laugh but thank you ! I live for a bit of chaos but I definitely also love the thought of having a more chill vacation so I can actually enjoy myself lmao

(that’s wack to think about)

if something ends bad I’ll literally make my own ending for it bc Nope No Thank You. fix it fanfics are truly the greatest blessing on this earth lmao. (I’m most definitely still a loser but like a Chill loser so it’s okay haha)

gay domesticity and yearning is what I live for. there’s no other point to life than to find a fellow gay to be domestic with and yearn for. (I literally had to put the book down and yell silently for a solid five minutes when I realized what he was doing lmao I was a Wreck) this is the fic !! (I haven’t read it in a While so I don’t remember much of it oof) and I want to buy trc so bad but I just have the mobile versions rn ! finding the Energy is really the biggest struggle in life

bro you’ll be able to flex so hard, just think of all that cash and like, Status. I’m already proud of you :’)

sleep deprivation and being gay are my only cultures lmao

askaklsjaka wHaT eVen?? I can’t imagine wanting to have a baby on my own birthday lmao !!

tøp is great !! I was really Into them for a long time and I still love their music but I’m not as involved in the fandom anymore haha (but !! Tyler and Jenna are having a baby !! i legit tested up when I saw them post about it on Instagram !!) your sister is Valid bc Alec Benjamin is a sweetheart and his concert was Amazing !! pit sounds like a nightmare sometimes but I want to experience it at least once in my life lmao.

I’m hoping it’ll be a fun summer bc I need some good after finishing highs school and before moving on to college lmao !

I would also love to go to Europe ! I really want to go to New Zealand, Japan, and anywhere in Europe really haha

teleportation would be So Nice like wow imagine not having to Walk. I’d personally like to be able to stop time because then I might actually be able to get Things Done for once (and sleep !! Imagine all of the sleep !!)

I’m,,, gonna cry holy shit. This is it. Time has flown this month and reading your tags is making me realize just how lucky I got to get you for this whole thing ! you’re literally The Best and I’m so glad I’ve been able to get to know you through all of these long ass messages (long is definitely our thing and i can’t imagine a better way to have done it) 🥺💕 ily !! can’t wait to be able to dm and talk more regularly !! (I feel like all our chats will end up being novel length anyways lmao that’s just the way we are I think)

merry chrismas again !! sending you all the love and good vibes !! 💕✨💞💖

with all the love,

kate @lightsupbabes (your not-so-secret-anymore santa 🎅) 

[billdenbrough]

i'm going through some rough stuff atm and i've been feeling pretty bad for a while, but the shark puppy au made me smile for the first time in days. thank you so much, to you and to all of the people contributing to it. you made someone's day a lot more bearable

first off, i’m so sorry you’ve been having a hard time recently! i feel that a lil deeply, rip, but i’m sending you all the vibes and care i can, and i really hope things shift for you, because that’s an awful way to feel, but i am so, so happy that anything we did or said today/last night made anything a little easier for you 💕it’s nearly 3am and i have work again in the morning (fucking rip) but i thought i’d put some more shark puppy stuff out there in the hopes it might make tomorrow a little easier for you too!

so this morning before work i answered an ask abt shark puppy and was talking in the tags abt patstanlon (essentially just. thinking abt how to execute it)

and so tonight once i was finally home from work i was talking to a few of the others abt it and @benverlesbians brought up patty’s BA and also how in the book she says bill isn’t a real writer bc he’s a novelist (tangent but i just went back to read the start of that chapter and a, ouch, but b, “Stanley drove a Mercedes diesel—teasing him, she called it Sedanley” this will never not make my heart yell) and that led jem to the conclusion that patty thinks real writing is either non-fiction or non-prose, i.e., journalist or poet

we settled on journalist for her career, but she has a background in poetry from college

@benverlesbians: “patty and mike are like “we both got BAs in english and we are both perfect human beings” and they are correct”

anyway this interview takes place after the Scathing Review from the Conservative Magazine (after richie’s bi ass jeans)

jem posited that bev’s rly protective of the band (and herself, ofc herself, and why wouldn’t she be) and tends to like, vet the interviewers pretty hard, bc she has to be sure she can trust them with their words and their image

and then we were thinking abt how that’s interesting bc like. patty probably isn’t super overt on social media (certainly not just showing her whole self on there, miss ‘wouldn’t admit to thinking richard dawson’s watch chain was sexy if wild horses tried to drag it out of her’), which is like. frustrating for bev’s purposes, but also… kinda relatable? and bev can respect it, on an intellectual and empathetic level, even if it’s annoying that it runs counter to her purposes (but there’s also—-part of bev thinks maybe, someone who can be private with themselves can have some integrity with others, but then there’s another part of her, those self-preservation instincts honed from years of not being able to trust… men specifically, but it’s made all trust harder now, and that part is wary, hard-pressed to give people the benefit of the doubt, not when it comes to her and her friends)

jemma: “bev is like “why don’t you have instagram” and patty’s like “this isnt you interviewing me, this is me interviewing you. please pass the maple syrup, my pancakes are dry as fuck"”

(it starts at a kitschy diner (jem’s idea) bc like, well, there are seven of them. like. that’s too many. but they’re probs not all at the diner, maybe just bev, stan, mike & eddie (deliberate choices from bev, given how she couldn’t find too much on patty—-some good testimonials that convinced her to give the interview anyway, even if patty works for a buzzfeet analogue, bev has less personal hang-ups with them than stan does, even though she loyally disavows them with him—-and she trusts stan and mike to hold their own, and while eddie can be a wild card (it’s not wild, she thinks, not really, because it doesn’t come out of nowhere. it’s just that he’s brave and good and loyal and principled, like he’d have her back, have all of their backs, and wouldn’t let anything slide he wasn’t okay with), she’d rather have that inability to back down at her side when their words and image are on the line than some of the impulsive nonsense richie and bill pull, and ben has a tendency to be too earnest, too quick, and if bev wants to be careful, be sure, before exposing ben’s heart and sentiment and big fucking eyes to that, well, sue her) but then patty is interviewing them, and she’s thoughtful, questioning without being probing, framing things in interesting ways that keeps them talking, keeps them interested, and bev’s already halfway to inviting patty back to the clubhouse (their studio) where the others are when stan, like, references some swedish poet whose translated works he was reading when he and mike wrote one of their songs, and patty, like, gets it? and works tomas tranströmer into her next question, and stan’s expression is just. and he glances at mike, and mike grins (bev doesn’t even know why stan bothered. mike’s clearly thought well of patty the entire time), and stan cocks an eyebrow at bev, and she almost can’t believe it, bc since when does stan ever want to allow interviewers more access? but it’s stan, and he never asks, and so of course she turns to patty, and asks: “got a couple more hours?”)

@chaoticbisexualalien: “pre-meeting stan journalist!pat on twitter giving their album a four-star review but singling him out as exceptional and then a bitter fan is like "oh did he eat you out for that review” and she’s like “I would have given them five stars for that"”

@striffyisme: “omg,,,, the fans start calling her Petty Patty for her excellent clap backs”

britt: “stan sees it and doesn’t get involved directly because he doesn’t want to fan the flames but he admires her from afar and then later on he finds out that she’s interviewing the band and he’s like ”!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!“ inside”

alex: “stan, instantly in love and adoring from afar, patty falling for him as she gets to know him, everyone outside the band thinking it was the other way around lmao”

which, yeah, bc when the others catch on, they realise… patty working for a b/zzfeet analogue isn’t a speed bump for patstanlon to overcome, but rather just something stan was holding onto as like, a reminder to himself that ‘objectively she’s not perfect, and the only perfect person in this world is probably mike hanlon, be quiet rich’ but he’s wrong! she’s perfect too! he knows two perfect people! and by the time she’s gotten a job offer for her frankly thoroughly fucking excellent article abt shark puppy and has quit her job at the buzzfeet analogue, he’s pretty much forgotten about that hang-up until she’s like, “god i’m glad i have an actual adult workplace now” and mike laughs and stan feels his heart grow three sizes in his chest

@dykeeddie: “Okay I’m just gonna say it if she’s working at a b*zzfeed analogue for any period of timeShark Puppy Styles Me For A Week… there are 7 of them it’s the only way”

anyway the article is fucking bomb, everyone stan patty blum, and it blows the conservative scathing review sky high into a void of irrelevance

(at the clubhouse, patty makes such an expression at one of bill’s lyrics that richie actually chokes on his coke from laughter)