#anyway sora rules actually

[jaywalkerslastbraincell]

Weird rant I have no idea how it got so long

I don't know if other people also have this opinion but , while water ninja Nya is a cool concept it just is not as compelling as Nya seeing that destiny didn't include her in the fight against evil and going "actually you're wrong " and making her own identity, an identity that is not connected to destiny or the monastery or the green ninja or the first spinjiju master, an identity no one can take from her, an identity that makes her an important player in the fight against evil that destiny did not offer her but she litteraly forged on her own. They could have made her start her own tradition of samurais in Ninjago, she didn't need to become a ninja to have her own storylines , she was already an important part of the team , making her a ninja low key feels like a downgrade when I think of Nya as this warrior that spit in the face of destiny and joined the fight she was told she couldn't and the ways that could have been developed , they character arcs that could have been.

The big arcs Nya has gone through after she became a ninja was 1. Solidifying her identity and self as a ninja and not as the "girl" ninja, and 2. Her fear of becoming normal, losing her powers .Both of those feel like back pedaling what she did in the first seasons, she already had an identity she made for herself and was stable in, she didn't need powers to be significant in the fight , bringing back Nya as samurai x only for her to get back her powers and dump her identity again felt so disappointing.

The only problems that happen occur in the shows narrative from keeping Nya as the samurai x (how will the ninja defeat the preeminent, what will pixals role be , how would seabount happene) can be solved in ways that at least to me feel more interesting

We can spend Nya's portion of haunted while she makes a something that can cause the cyclone, remind us of her mechanical skills and showcasing a similar arc of her dealing with her impatience and even exploring how see feels not being with the team actively stoping morro, a journey of her accepting fighting bis not the only way to help

Pixal can be trained by Nya, be kind of an apprentice in a possible start for a new samurai tradition in the monastery of spinjiju while also acting like the guy in the chair, making plans , doing research, protecting the monastery kinda like oracle, at the same time maybe we could have seen her slowly build her self up again, dealing with her emotions of wanting to be active while fearing she's more useful as just a program for maybe a season concluding with her building her new body and defending the monastery in a final battle

And seabount is obvious, the storm amulet representing air while it litteraly produces lightning storms is ridiculous, jay can be the one that becomes one with his element, giving us a reason to reaserch the previous lightning master, solving that plot line and giving us a Nya centric season after of her trying to get him back maybe mirroring skybound in some way

Other things to consider:

- Nya could have learned magic , we have seen it used by many characters and having characters with different kinds of powers would be nice , on the same note maybe she's the one that performs the ritual to separate jay from his element saving him

- Nya could be Sora's mentor following up to the idea of Nya also mentoring pixal, sora as an elemental master choosing to be a samurai and not a ninja could make an interesting dynamic

- on the same note I feel like it would be cool for the team to have members that aren't elemental masters but take their power from elsewhere, like maybe instead of Sora being the elemental master of technology she could have tecnopathy because some people from her dimension do, but because of the emperor they never develop it well, so since she escaped she developed it better,

Btw that doesn't me I don't like Sora being an elemetal master (technology being a element is interesting), I just thought it would be cool since the merge happened to get main characters who's powers are not Ninjago based but based on their home dimensions

[archivalofsins]

I think if I said who my favorite characters in media were, it wouldn't surprise anyone here. Instead it'd be like that explains so fucking much while saying nothing. So fuck it.

A list of favorite characters from every hyper fixation I've ever had.

YuYu Hakusho (I would recommend both the manga and anime bpth are very good times.)

Yusuke Urameshi Keiko Yukimura Kazuma Kuwabara (I love Kuwabara he's great- He's amazing good guy.).

Since we're on Yoshiro Togashi's work anyway-

Hunter x Hunter

Killua Zoldyck Leorio Paladiknight Knuckle Bine

Detective Conan

Shinichi Kudo (I too am irresponsible and full of hubris I would have followed that criminal too at his age.) Ran Mori Heiji Hattori

Shaman King

Yoh Hao Asakura

It's equal but I lean more favorably towards Yoh. Favorite Yu-gi-oh series and protagonist

Yu-Gi-Oh GX

Judai Yuki (I don't think this says anything. I'm just correct, actually.)

Bleach

Orihime Inoue (Always forever sweet lady amazing girl.) Captain Unohana Oldman Yamamoto Toshiro Hitsugaya Kenpachi and Ichigo (I like them both to about the same degree.)

Naruto

Naruto Hinata Neji Shikamaru Sakura Ino Tamari

Oh, wait Akamaru. Yep that's every- oh and Shino! Wait and Choji. Probably Tamari's entire team, too, and can't forget Neji. In fact there we go he's up where he belongs. Naruto has a huge fucking cast. Most of them are interesting chaaracters. Bleach has a fucking huge cast as well.

Code Geass

Lelouch Euphemia Suzaku Akito from Akito the exiled (this is also correct).

Boruto

I'm committed to what I like-

Boruto Shikadai Chocho (this is just correct too actually I don't look in this fandom so fuck it I make this rule now) Himawari Inojin.

One Punch Man

Garo (I said he could beat Saitama in the manga and my nephews made fun of me because he's never won anywhere else. But that shit was a fight in the manga instead of a one hit out.) Metal Bat (I have a character type leave me alone. Yes, I recognize having Kuwabara, Knuckle Brine, and then him here sets a pattern. But I'd argue it's a good one.)

Chainsaw Man

Denji Makima Nayuta Kobeni Asa

Pandora Hearts

Oswald Gilbert Oz Elliot Marie Ada Sharron Lily

Spiral: The Bonds of Reasoning (Spiral Suri no Kizuna)(read this in middle school sooo this is going off memory.)

Ayumu Narumi Hizumi Mizushiro

Nabari No Ou (read this in middle school sooo this is going off memory.)

Tobari Kazuhiko Miharu Yoite Kouichi

Kagerou Days

Shintaro Ayano Seto Konoha Hibiya

Kingdom Hearts

Terra Roxas Axel (Lea) Xion Vanitas Ventus Xemnas (Look my first game was days and he was a decent boss). Larxene Sora

Oshi No Ko

Aqua Hoshino Akane Kurokawa Taiki Himekawa Kana Arima Frill Shiranui Shun Yoshizumi

Batman comics and animated series

Harley Quinn (since batman the animated series) Damian Wayne (since Son of Batman movie) Bruce Wayne (Yes, Bruce is below his son. I'm not sorry.) Poison Ivy (since Batman the animated series.).

Spider-man

Peter Parker Mile's Morales (from the films).

Calvin and Hobbes

It was the first thing I enjoyed reading. I don't think I have to explain this but I liked everyone that appeared frequently in this.

Deadpool (mostly due to the Spider-man team up comics and the movies.)

W.I.T.C.H

Irma Hay Lin Will Taranee Cornelia Elyon

Totally Spies

Alex Clover Sam

Martin Mystery (A show nobody knows)

Martin

Invader Zim

Dib Gaz Tak

Gravity Falls

Dipper Pines Pacifica Mabel Stanley

I was typing this up during that whole other thing people may have seen. I don't know what this list can tell anyone about me. It is funny to go over for me personally because a lot of the characterization stuff I like from Milgram can be found in most of these series. Which is proably why I have trouble actually picking favorites in regards to Milgram since all of the characters have traits I enjoy.

But yeah that's a little bit about me I guess. I do enjoy a lot of the characterization I see in Milgram. This is much more casual and generally being written up to give some idea of my likes. Though most of these are good watches, reads, or plays. Most are pretty well known but I would recommend Spiral since it's not that talked about in general.

Well, that's it.

[oksurethisismyname]

Hiiiii as a queer person living in the Bible Belt of the USA, I’m envisioning a “Christian trauma AU / general theology AU” because you know my main focus is always Sanji. This assumed that we’re in the USA, modern era, and I guess maybe a college or post grad AU for how they meet each other? This is a lonnnnnnnng text post so scroll at your own risk. To keep it from being toooo long I’m also sticking to east blue crew.

Hear me out:

There are a million different sects of Christianity so we’ve got a ton of angles to use.

Garp is catholic (but think FRENCH laïcité instead of American Amy Coney Barret Supreme Court justice weird catholic cult), Dragon straight up rebels against the strict structure and goes about his atheist ways. Neither of them really raise Luffy anyway so 💁🏻

Luffy ends up being agnostic. It’s not that he doesn’t believe in a higher power but he knows he needs to take action and that he can’t rely on a higher power to fix the problems of the world. Very Albert Camus, revolting against the absurd and holding himself to a higher responsibility in life

Zoro comes from a Shinto or Buddhist background. He’s not judging anyone’s religious beliefs unless they’re harming others.

Nami has religious trauma from the Baptist church that set up in her town and made it impossible to be herself. Belle Mere is so clearly queer and she’s harassed and dies at the hands of some zealous bigots who were emboldened by the words of the local Baptist church pastor (Arlong)

Ussop comes from a chill Protestant background (maybe Presbyterian?) But he’s more of a CEO (Christmas Easter Only) in terms of actually attending any sort of church. Honestly, with his dad out of the picture and his mom dying, he just had bigger things on his mind like living every day.

Finally, Sanji. Oh boy, Sanji has major “Quiverfull movement Christian” trauma from Judge. For those who don’t know, quiverfull is a Christian extremist movement where the idea is to have as many kids as possible and adhere to very strict purity rules and gender roles. Contraception isn’t allowed. Women wear long skirts and non fitted shirts to hide their womanly form (ew), and most of the time these parents homeschool there kids to avoid the “temptation” or “impurity” of modern society.

Judge had these 5 kids who he’s raised in this faith but Sanji never liked how Judge treated his mom. Why was Sora supposed to be “seen and not heard?” Why was it ok for his brothers to use scripture to bully and hurt and spread hate? Why would a loving god create women just to subjugate them? Judge wouldn’t like this, and once Sora passes away (probably because Judge wouldn’t let her seek medical care post birth of the quadruplets, so her health deteriorated for years), Judge locks him up and makes him do all sorts of horrible “prayer” and “repentance” practices, which are really just abuse.

Sanji would maybe escape when they go into town to get something mundane like a printer or a new wifi router (which only judge is allowed to use the internet). He’d probably bolt first chance he gets and when he meets Zeff, Zeff can recognize the signals of abuse. He takes Sanji in and even though Sanji never believed women were less than men, he still has years of trauma and gender roles beaten into him that he has to unpack.

His choice to cook? That’s a huge rebellion. Wearing tight fitting suits that look sinful? That’s a middle finger to his dad. He always treats women like goddesses because he feels so much guilt for the sins of his father. When he finally joins the Strawhats, he’s so overwhelmed with how free and nonjudgmental they are (of important stuff, obviously they’ll still poke fun at small stuff) that he feels comfortable dropping little comments here and there, opening up.

Ussop will be comforting Nami about something and sanji will tell him is so refreshing to see a man be so nurturing. He goes to Ussop often, asking how he’s so confident sharing his emotions.

Nami will be ordering them around and he’ll do everything she says with a smile, just happy to see her free to do what she wants (which is be a bossy bitch)

Zoro will talk about Kuina one night and Sanji will sob, overwhelmed with joy that she got to have all that strength and a friend like zoro even when faced with hurtful gender expectations.

Luffy above all is the most jarring for him. He grew up hearing about sin and sinners and temptation and evil but when he sees Luffy doing his thing, taking down bad people, fighting for the underdog, he knows that if there is a God (he she it they? Who cares), Luffy is doing their work.

——————

Bonus Gay Cherry on top is that Sanji meets Iva and gets into drag, starts performing, does some events, and through that gender liberation is able to find some peace in who he is, tucking away all the hate he was born into. And he ends up with zoro the end bye

[puricodraws]

Here's a long post no one asked for, but I gotta get off my chest. Lots of infodumping about Kingdom Hearts and in particular the casting of it's voice talent, so strap in y'all. So something I find very interesting is the way Square/Disney has treated the character of Kairi throughout the years. She started out as a damsel character, and was hated by very vocal group in the fanbase. I myself didn't really care about Kairi any which way, I didn't find her particularly interesting and I could understand the hate for the character like... a little bit? But what's funny to me is how that perception has changed over the years. Maybe there is still a very vocal group of people hating on Kairi on some forum I'm not aware of but I feel like the general consensus on her these days is: That's our girl. We can recognize that she is a victim of bad writing and the damsel trope. She's become a bit of un underdog in my mind. Like, treat her better Square! Come on!

The issue with Kairi is that she's just a... nothing sandwich. Kairi is a sweet girl, she likes Sora, she likes to write and makes good luck charms. She's also secretly a princess and therefore has a pure heart and can do nothing wrong. She is a little bit sassy sometimes, but not too much, she cares about her friends and will jump into danger to protect them, but most of the times she is the one who needs to be protected. She's strong, but not too strong, she's sweet and easygoing, and she's boring as hell. In the games at least... She rules in the manga.

In the game she softly lowers a bottled letter to Sora in the ocean, while in the manga she tosses it in there with all her might.

In the game she sort of runs away when Axel tries to kidnap her but in the manga she THROWS HANDS at one of the nobodies who tries to capture her.

Also later in the story when she is kidnapped by Organization XIII, she actually manages to escape for a bit by wiggling through the bars of her prison cell, and then throws hands at Demyx, who is actually trying to help her out. (the manga takes some liberties with the story, it's great you should really read it if you get the chance)

Shiro Amano actually lets her put up a fight and let her actually try to escape by herself when she's captured. Watching this girl be strong and throw hands without hesitation is so so great. Shiro Amano said: Girls should be allowed to go feral once in a while, as a treat. Also I would be amiss if I didn't mention this moment with Olette:

(In the game, Olette awkwardly and weakly puts up a hand to protect Kairi when Axel shows up in Twilight Town to kidnap her, but is just ignored in the most disrespectful way.)

Anyways, back to Kairi. It's sad to say, but her original characterization is just boring. She doesn't really want anything for herself and she doesn't really have a function in the story except to wait around for the boys to pay attention to her or get kidnapped and need to be rescued. And while in recent years the writers are finally exploring her being a keyblade weilder and having her actively participate in the story, they still just can't resist damseling the poor girl, fridging her, and putting her on the sidelines while Sora and Riku take center stage. It's great to see how the fandom's perception of her has changed over the years, people are seeing how Square has been dropping the ball and are actively rooting for Kairi to get more stuff to do. Fans are creating mods of the games to make Kairi playable, are writing fanfiction exploring role reversals where Kairi is the hero and there are several notible fan comics comics that explore her character in a really interesting way.

Anyways, now to get to the actual thing I wanted to talk about: How she's casted in the English version of the games, and how the inconsistent approach to the casting feels... a little disrespectful. Having a consistent voice for a character is something I, and many others really appreciate. It shows a level of care from the creators to bring a consistent group of actors together to bring life to the world. Now, VA's being replaced in the Kingdom Hearts series is not uncommon. The series is known for casting well known actors, and actor availability and budget are problems for which recasting is the solution. For example: Billy Zane got recast as Ansem by Richard Epcar, Brittany Snow by Meaghan Martin as Namine. And then of course there are Christopher Lee, Wayne Allwine, Leonard Nimoy and Rutger Hauer, who had to be recast because they sadly passed away. (RIP, Kings)

Like, all of that makes sense. So here's the confusing situation with Kairi:

Xion and Kairi share a VA in the JP version. This is an intentional creative decision that ties into the lore of Kingdom Hearts. Risa Uchida has consistently voiced these characters in Japanese for years and does a fabulous job.

Sadly this was not the case in the English version. Hayden Panettiere originated the role of Kairi in English, but they got Alyson Stoner to voice Xion when the character debuted in 358/2 days in 2009, which was originally a DS title. Before this they also got Alyson to voice Kairi in the re:Chain of Memories dub in 2008.

These titles were likely smaller budget, which becomes pretty obvious when you look at the overall quality and presentation of the cutscenes. In Kingdom Hearts 1 and 2 the dialogue was recorded in English and the japanese lipsynch animation were redone to match the English dialogue. This was not the case in 358/2 days. The dialogue was recorded to match the japanese lip flaps, and the animation was not altered at all to marry the two together. So availability and budget could have been an issue in getting Hayden Panettiere to record for these games. At the time I also considered the possibility that Hayden simply didn't want to do it anymore. It wouldn't have suprised me, because these things happen. Take Brittany Snow for example, after KH2 she got her big break in the Pitch Perfect films, and probably became too busy to come back as Namine. From 2006-2010 Hayden starred in the popular TV series Heroes, which could have impacted her availability and desire to do KH. And with the lower budget for these projects, and where Hayden was at in her carreer at the time, it could stand to reason that she was simply not interested. I should also mention that in this time period Kairi barely got anything to do. When she did show up it would be for a couple of lines of dialogue. As for Xion, 358/2 days on the DS had around 10 or so voiced cutscenes. So the amount of voice work needed for the character was notably smaller compared to one of the numbered games. So the amount of voice work needed, budget, and availability could all have been factors to why Alyson took over for Hayden during this time.

Now don't get me wrong: Alyson is amazing and is, as far as I'm concerned, the definitive voice for Xion. She originated the role and brought so much to the table. She has a wonderful voice, is a talented actress and we have no choice but to stan.

Before long it became apparent that Alyson replacing Hayden permanently was not on the table. In 2010 Hayden reprised her role as Kairi and took over the role of Xion in the secret ending of Birth By Sleep!

So at this point it seemed that the original creative intention for these characters would be honored. Kairi and Xion should have the same voice actress, for lore reasons, and that actress should be Hayden Panetiere, who originated the role.

And wouldn't you know it, in 2012 Kingdom Hearts Dream Drop Distance comes out for the 3DS. It's another hand held title, but the budget is lit. There is lipsynch animation for voiced cutscenes, and the amount of voiced cutscenes is comparable to KH1, KH2 and BBS. Kairi has a few appearances, but has only one line of dialogue. Same goes for Xion, while she does get a line of dialogue near the end of the game. Hayden came in to record for Kairi and Xion and it really seemed like she would be taking over the roles from Alyson.

So obviously, at this point in time it's all but confirmed that Hayden wants to work on KH, and the creative team were making an effort to consistently bring her back as Kairi and Xion. That would be a tough deal for Alyson though, was she gonna get replaced permanently as Xion? Well wait a second and I'll tell you!

So in 2013 Kingdom Hearts HD 1.5 Remix was released. It was the first in a series of HD remasters of the Kingdom Hearts series, and the collection included KH1, KH re:Chain of Memories and around 3 hours of newly made cutscenes retelling the story of the DS game 358/2 days. Days originally featured mostly textbox cutscenes. These scenes were remade from scratch and would feature newly recorded voice acting in Japanese and English. Now I don't need to get into it but... The 358/2 days cutscene "movie" is.. not very good. It's boring to watch through, which I think is to blame entirely for the way they approached it. They remade all the cutscenes true to their original appearance, but forgot that there's no action gameplay to break up hours of dialogue scenes. The pacing is bad, the action is non existent, and what's worse is that it doesn't have adjusted lipsynch animation at all. This means the English voice acting was done to match the japanese lip flaps, resulting in awkward pauses and weird deliveries of lines.

The saving grace was that Alyson Stoner was reprising her role as Xion, recording new dialogue for the cutscenes. They also reused her previously recorded dialogue for the DS cutscenes as well. So... I guess Hayden isn't taking over Xion after all? Or perhaps it was easier to get Alyson to come back, so that they could reuse some of the original voice lines from the DS version? I can't imagine that THAT would've been the deciding factor though, because there weren't that many cutscenes from the DS version that would have to be redubbed should they get Hayden back on board. It's hard to say what the reason for this was.

But I was happy to hear Alyson as Xion in the "definitive" version of the 358/2 days story. She has a pleasant voice, and she portrays Xion beautifully in my opinion.

So then KH HD 2.5 Remix comes out in 2014 and features no new Kairi/Xion content. It does feature the Final Mix version of KH2, originally released exclusively in Japan in 2007. This version had new cutscenes, which were now finally dubbed in English for the HD remaster. What's more is they they also reanimated the lip animation to match the new English voice acting! An interesting thing to mention is that at this time, Meaghan Martin had completely taken over the role of Namine, fully replacing Brittany Snow. They luckily didn't choose to redub Brittany's original lines with Meaghan. But it does result in this funny moment where following Roxas' prologue Namine's voice is suddenly different for a single scene.

Anyways, flash forward to 2017, and the release of Kingdom Hearts HD 2.8 Remix, which included a brand new title by the name of, and hold on to your wigs for this one....

Kingdom Hearts 0.2 Birth By Sleep -A Fragmentary Passage-

This was the first look at what a next gen Kingdom Hearts title would be like. You got to play as Aqua and it was wonderful and heartbreaking and cool as hell. At the end of this game a cutscene plays where after a decade Kairi finally gets to be involved in the plot again. She is summoned by Master Yen Sid to begin her training as a keyblade weilder. And she is voiced by.... Alyson Stoner??

A few years later KH3 came out, and Alyson Stoner voices both Kairi and Xion in it. She does a great job. But it's all so confusing.

It seemed so clear that the studio's intent was to get Hayden back as Kairi, and potentially Xion as well. And KH3 was the next big budget numbered title in the franchise. The casting for this game was insane, they got the full cast of Frozen to reprise their roles. Idina Mcfreaking Menzel showed up for Kingdom Hearts! What happened to getting Hayden back? I don't get it at all. This is not to shit on Alyson at all, her Kairi is adorable, and I honestly can't imagine anybody but Alyson Stoner playing Xion. Whenever Hayden picked up the role of Xion I was excited to hear her, but it never felt quite right.

But yeah, this whole situation unfolded in the weirdest of ways. For years it seemed they were absulutely set on getting Hayden to voice these characters. Was she not available to come in for KH3? Well, to answer that question:

Apparently, Hayden wasn't even ASKED to reprise Kairi.

This could of course be a situation of her representatives getting the offer from Square/Disney and choosing not to give it to her. Which happens in Hollywood, and sucks. But there's also a very real chance that Square/Disney didn't even bother reaching out and offering it to her.

Seeing how they decided to recast Hayner, Pence and Olette in KH3, even though their actors are still working as VA's and would have likely loved reprise the roles, I'm leaning to the possibility that they simply didn't bother to reach out to Hayden.

Hell, that's what she said herself.

All in all it's an interesting series of events. It's confusing, and a bit saddening as well. I can speculate why it all happened, but who can really be sure what their reason for replacing Hayden were. Perhaps they decided to do it because they found Alyson to be a better fit for the character? I may be reading into things but there's this interview Hayden did for the release of KH2 were she talks about the recording process and how the voice directors would keep telling her to "raise her voice an octave higher and make it sound more princess like." I gotta say the way she said that irks me..... I love the way Kairi's voice sounds in KH2! Hayden has a beautiful voice, it's a bit lower and more mature sounding than your average cutie girl voice. I would have loved to hear that quality in the character moving forward. Alyson ended up doing a lighter, cuter version of Kairi in KH3. And I do enjoy how Kairi sounds in KH3. Like, it's fine, she sounds very adorable, and it's fine.

But idk man... it feels... weird. I can't help but feel as though they replaced her voice with a younger sounding one, taking away the strength and maturity of the voice that I loved so much. Effectively infantelizing her. And then of course they proceed to damsel her, fridge her, bring her back to life and put her on the sidelines for the foreseeable future.

I feel like it all ties together with how the writers see her. She's not really a main character after all, she's not a priority. After years of showing a dedication to keep her voice consistent, it was all just thrown out of the window in the end. It makes me feel like they just didn't care in the end, people would be more upset if Sora or Riku got recast, but they just assumed no one would really care about Kairi. I can't help but care though.

I just wish for a future where Kairi can become a main player in the story, and where she is allowed to grow and mature. Where she isn't used as a carrot to dangle in front of the male lead. Where she isn't kidnapped or killed off as motivation for someone else. Where she can be a girl who is not just pretty and adorable and easy going and sweet, but a girl who is strong, silly, determined and is willing to fight like hell for the things she cares about.

Where she is allowed to interact with the world around her, and discover what her place in it is. Where she can discover what she wants for herself, instead of constantly having to be something for someone else!

IDK, maybe that's too much to ask from a Kingdom Hearts game though, haha.

[lasagnaeatsu]

NINJAGO MOVIE AU

(Repost cuz my phone is being dumb)

OKAY SO NINJAGO MOVID AU W ARIN, SORA AND WLYDFYRE SO HERE WE GO! But first big thanks to my friend @imotakkun who helped me come up with some stuff for this au 🤩‼️

First off, the ninja, when we saw them in the movie they were all highschoolers. But if we'll still applying some rules from the show we can assume they're all adults by now.

Now, at first, I was gonna have them be in college, but we have to take in how the movie ended. However, I did more thinking, and ninja's identities have been revealed, so it's safe to assume college and any part of their daily aspects have been affected.

So what happens? Well, first, I'm trying to figure out something equivalent to the merge, but I'm not sure if it's gonna an actual event this au as I don't want it being exactly like the merge.

But for the ninja, I came up with an idea. However, it's quite angsty. Well, Garamadon is now good, so the ninja have no one to defend ninjago from? What if this caused them all to slowly distance themselves, but before the final blow, what if Wu went missing? Wu going missing is what can be the final straw, and the ninja go there separate ways.

Yeah, that'd be pretty painful, I think.

Now I'm thinking that right after Wu disappears, something happens that like the merge can happen and cause all these people to go missing, and can open a new book of possibilities? But I'm still thinking, so if anyone has any ideas, please feel free to share!

Anyways so after this event, that's the end of the original ninja, and years go by and no one has seen them. Like in series I'll add a timeskip, but this one will be confirmed (lol) I'll say 5 years.

Now something like the merge has happened, all these new developments in Ninjago City, all these new people, and the world has adjusted. So when this big event happened Arin and Sora could be like 10 then after the timeskip they'd be 15.

OKAY, now to Ninjago High School!!! Let's start with Arin and Sora. In the series they seemed to get along with people well in the crossroads, so I would like to apply this to this au.

Let's start with Arin, first off, he's a huge ninja fan, who doesn't like the ninja!? I would like to imagine that the school has a ninja fan club which he'd absolutely be the president of.

Also, he's extremely friendly, so I think he'd be pretty popular having a great personality, being a ninja fan, and making some pretty delicious pies.

To add on, he'd also definitely be into an elective where he can bake, he'd also most likely be a huge history nerd. (Since in the show tells Lloyd about all the types of pie crust, also ninja fan sooo)

Now, to the angsty part of Arin, in the big event, like in the show, he lost his parents. And well, I'd kinda wanna make this au a tad more realistic, so, following the disappearance of his parents, the world's all in chaos. However, after a while since school is mandatory here, perhaps one of his teachers caught onto this and he was put in foster care.

Unfortunately, his current foster parents aren't all too nice :( So he spends most of his time in school anyway. Not that he minds, it just gives him the chance to better his school record for college.

Luckily for him he has a great best friend!

Sora!!!

Let's dive into her story. So to start off, she's definitely a stem girl, loves stem, is a huggeeeee stem nerd. I'd imagine she's as popular as Arin. They're just seen as that duo in the halls. I mean, why wouldn't she be popular? She's super skillful, independent, and smart! (Perhaps trans? 👀)

She's also really easy to get along with. She reminds me of those nice popular girls you see around school who are crazy talented and in all these extracurricular activities.

Speaking of Sora most definitely loves all things cats, and is a huge music nerd you cannot convince me otherwise. Though I can also see her being a huge gamer so she'd definitely be I'm her school's esports club.

Now, as to her backstory...like in the show, she's a runaway, and she often compares how much better her new school is compared to her old one. Especially since her hometown sucked.

Now, no one really knows where she came from. She was just there for freshman orientation. Since she'd good at tech stuff (and she's a good student), she'd be able to escape getting put in the foster system. Whenever someone checks her records, she can just hack them.

Now, for where she lives, this would be kinda tricky, but I'd like to imagine her working at a library, and her boss (Mr frohicky) let's her stay in the library over night.

And it's not all bad! Sora even discovered a secret room hidden in the library, which she turns onto her own room. (think of Amitys secret room in the library from the owl house) She just really loves it, and it's definitely her safe space.

Sora often has sleepovers with Arin in the library. The two get a bunch of books and blankets and make a tiny fort.

And since the library has computers and free wifi it's the ultimate spot for sleepovers.

Arin would often geek out about the Ninja and ninjago history, showing Sora books, videos, photos, and stories of the ninja.

And in return, Sora would show Arin a bunch of video games, music, and her current experiments.

The two talked about everything! Heck Sora even offered to hack Arin out of the foster system, he denied, though, as it was too risky, plus he didn't want her getting caught and also being put in the foster system.

But it was fine, as they spent most of their time in school, the two did almost everything together. They were the it duo of the school. They were friendly, skilled, and straight A student, so it was a no-brainer when they were called into the office to show the new student around!

Wlydfyre, well, she's wild, I mean, what can you expect from a kid who grew up in the wild? She would often go to the nearest junkyard and do what she could with what she found. Sometimes, she'd get caught, but she's too slippery to actually get caught. She'd often use her powers, too, which appeared out of nowhere, but she didn't question it. How did this girl never get restraint? Who knows?

Until she found someone like her, a guy with fire powers?? Kai had found the girl and, after a bit of talking, decided, 'I'm adopting this child', and without all the paperwork! It was a win-win situation, adopt kid, no paperwork, yayy!!

So Kai being Kai... sent her to a highschool...yeah kinda questionable on his part, but eh governments have done worse.

But that's a story for another time. What Arin didn't expect was seeing his best friend gain these magical tech powers?

It even shocked her. You see, they were in a tight situation, causing them having to defend themselves, so Arin did his fanboy spinjitzu, and Sora discovered her magical tech powers. Through this baby dragon??(where had he come from?)

After the two got away, and the baby dragon just?? Disappeared, they were wondering if they were both collectively hallucinating. But that thought would be broken when the police appeared and ARRESTED THEM?

Welp can't do much when you're in jail. Both were in a sort of panic as Arin didn't want to deal with his foster parents, and Sora had no parents, so she'd definitely get caught.

Luckily for them, they were released by their older cousin.

...

EXCEPT THEY HAD NO OLDER COUSIN? It seemed to be this blonde guy? They couldn't really see his face as he wore a hood, but something about him was familiar to Arin.

After they left the station, both Arin and Sora were pretty cautious because...well, stranger danger? But he did bail them out.

That was until the guy took off his hood which made the two do a double take.

It was THE green ninja, Lloyd Garamdon?

Lloyd had gone years without seeing any of the ninjas, that was until he and Kai had recently found each other again. And when he found out Kai had found a kid from the wild? And he took it under his wing. He definitely didn't think he'd see the day where Kai was taking on a mentorship kinda role, yet here they are.

But anyways Lloyd was lonely, and to put it lightly really, really sad. He had been alone for about five years. He'd often visit his parents, but they were currently off on a vacation, so it was just him. Man he really missed his friends.

He decided to be the sneaky ninja he was and go out at night and see what's up.

Well, what he didn't expect to see two figures, one doing spinjitzu and the other had..Elemental powers? Before he could go up to the two, the police got to them first.

Good thing he was a master of disguise.

Once he got them out of jail, he did NOT expect to see just two lil teenagers. It reminded him of when he was in highschool and well.

I'm assuming you've all watched the ninjago movie.

So when asked who was doing spinjitzu and using Elemental powers during the street fight. The two younger duo were well surprised.

Especially Arin, poor boy, was about to faint. As the two explained that it was, in fact, them, Lloyd was getting confused now.

They both achieved these skills, WITHOUT training?

He silently cursed Wu in his head. Well, he thought he could take them under his wing just like his uncle had done! How hard could it be? Right? Right?

Everyone screamed when the baby dragon from earlier appeared out of NOWHERE.

Yeah, Lloyd had his work cut out for him.

OKAY SO THATS WHAT I HAVE SO FAR, sorry if the writings not that good...I've never made a full au before EVER, I'll try and make some art for it when I have the chance. I kinda wanted to add some type of realistic affect to this au this yk talking about foster system and just generally child services (as i and ppl close to me have experinced it sooo) ALSO SORRY FOR THE LONG WAIT. Heads up stuff abt this au is bound to change, AND IF ANYONE HAS ANY QUESTIONS OR IDEAS FEEL FREE TO SHARE!!!! but yeah that's it for now :D (also I need an au name so hand em over 😈)

[raidergamerspice]

I recently binged all of Sense8, but even before I finished it, I'd already thought that every other media should have at least one Sense8 AU fanfic.

I mean, the idea of multiple people all over the world being psychically linked with one another as a sensate cluster, being able to visit each other and share knowledge and skills whenever it's needed? It's so fucking brilliant! Not to mention, all the queer themes, stories, and characters... It's all so beautiful 😭

I actually first got interested in this show through a Final Fantasy 16 fanfic that retells the story of FF16 so that all the Dominants (minus Joshua) are a sensate cluster. That in itself was interesting, but then I checked out the actual show, and I was hooked.

I even checked out the wiki just to look at the rules for clusters, and they seemed fairly simple: clusters can be as small as two people and as large as twelve people. And family members can be part of the same cluster, so Joshua could have also been part of the cluster in that FF16 fanfic, but the author's main reason for leaving him out was so that he and Clive wouldn't be able to...well...sense each other when things...got steamy...did I mention that there were a few times where the cluster in Sense8 all got together to...have some adult fun? Yeah, it's a very adult show, and the author of that fic was understandably valid for not making Clive and Joshua part of the same cluster.

But I feel like, for Sense8 style AUs, not everything has to be sexual among a cluster, ya know? 🤷‍♀️

Anyway, with these rules in mind, I feel like other fanfic writers could have a field day with this concept. I already first thought of a Sense8 style AU for Twiyor in Spy x Family because the idea of Loid and Yor being psychically connected is so juicy. Personally, I feel like this would nudge them closer to romantic territory compared to what's currently happening in canon lmao. Plus, just imagine when Yor gets shot in the butt, Loid feels it too 😳

Then I thought of a Sense8 AU for Avatar: The Last Airbender, though I wasn't the only one, where each Avatar would be bonded to multiple people in a cluster (the number of cluster members would vary with each Avatar); therefore, just like there is only one Avatar each lifetime, there can only be one cluster each lifetime.

And then...I thought of a Sense8 style AU for Dissidia: Final Fantasy. Imagine all sixteen Final Fantasy heroes (yes, I'm including Clive because why wouldn't I?) being a giant cluster despite all being in different realms! Wouldn't that be something? It'd be chaotic, that's for sure 😂

Finally - for now, at least - I figured a Sense8 AU could also work for the Heart Hotel in Kingdom Hearts. Just imagine Sora being connected to the rest of the Heart Hotel like sensates?

Phew, another long post where I ramble lol. What do you guys think of these ideas? I could probably write fics for this myself...but I have constantly wavering confidence and focus on fanfic writing, which is why I try to inspire ideas for other, better writers 💀

Also, here's a link to that fanfic I mentioned. It's currently still going, but it's very good so far: https://archiveofourown.org/works/48588124/chapters/122560603

[orangeoctopi7]

New season of Ninjago! I'm currently six episodes in.

(also I'm writing this the morning after I watched these episodes so my thoughts might be out of order)

Awkward teenage Riyu design is cute, but in that awkward, mid-stage pokemon evolution way.

"Intelligent George" is just every adult Ninjago fan on YouTube throwing around theories over the last year.

Sorry Lloyd, prophetic dreams of doom run in the family.

Hey, wait a sec. You know who else has prophetic dreams? Why are you not going to Zane with this?

Please give Arin a "you don't need powers to be powerful" arc.

All this talk of shattering all the good inside someone is reminding me of a certain other spell used to remove all the goodness from Garmadon back in season 8, but I doubt they're actually meant to be connected.

Slightly disappointed that the pink Serpentine isn't Skales' wife.

Euphrasia couldn't take on the master of Smoke, the elemental master she probably has the best type match up against? I don't wanna sound like one of those fans, but jeez, Morro would have destroyed this guy.

The Kai-Nya siblings dynamic continues to be on point.

Wyldfyre continues to be the best character.

I was honestly expecting Sora's fear dream to be more of the same insecurities we saw from her last season, but she actually has moved past that and now she's afraid of having to go back to Imperium. I was pleasantly surprised by that.

Oof, Nya's dream is giving me so many feels. This is foreshadowing, isn't it?

"Jay would never forget me. And even if he somehow did, he'd never be this calm and collected about a stranger coming up and hugging him."

Oh. Oh, we're not seeing Wyldfyre 's fear dream? Oh, she doesn't want to talk about it? *Rubbing hands together* I think we're gonna get some backstory and lore here!

*Bonzle to Cole and Geo* "You are my da-ads. You're my dad's. Boogie Woogie Woogie."

Suddenly Basketball

Ah, the dragon masters. The fact that dragons can learn spinjitzu honestly makes sense to me, all the way back in the pilot, I thought the way the dragons spun around in order to travel to the other realms was obviously related to Spinjitzu.

I like that Rontu is basically just a typical gym coach in dragon form.

Egalt, on the other hand... Well, I do really like his design. But man, he's just every bad "teaching" method from Wu rolled into an even grumpier old man. Talking down to his students, constantly being negative instead of giving positive reinforcement, no clear instructions, giving no answers or even hints to Arin's question, nothing! Maybe I care about this more than other people because I've worked as a teacher on and off for years, but even when I first started watching the show, back when I was still in college, I was already noticing these things about Wu and they already bothered me.

Anyway, calling it now, the students from "last time" Egalt keeps vague-ing were Wu and Garmadon, and Wu learned all his bad "teaching" methods from this guy.

Bonzle being a living spell is weird, but honestly not that out of the question for a crazy fantasy world like Ninjago.

Ok, so I'm going to break the first rule of enjoying Ninjago and think about the timeline. Judging by what Wu said, I'm guessing Bonzle ran into him some time early in season 2? And when did all this with the Forbidden Five happen?

Anyway, very excited to see where this is going, if only I didn't have to work today.

[why-raven]

quiz: tragic play character — yiuno.

Misunderstood Villain.

Prepare for an onslaught of both the most dehumanizing and hateful takes, and flood of thirst comments. You’re chronically misunderstood; whether or not you’re actually evil is debatable. You may be acting out for revenge, to defend someone you love, or even just to protect yourself—you’re a pretty jaded person. You don’t trust or even really like most people—perhaps you did, at one point, but that part of you is gone, and you don’t go a single day without grieving it. You think a lot about what your life could have been. You’re stuck in the past—you’re angry and maybe you don’t even want to be, but this is the only way you can see to survive. You’re open, but less in a trusting way and more like a wound. You don’t like to let people see you, but the hurt spills out of you before you can stop it. You’re impulsive, even as you try hard to plan and prepare. Maybe someday your side of the story will finally be heard. Until then, you can convince yourself that being hated is safer anyway.

link to quiz.

Oh, wow. What an eerily accurate result.

Yiuno embodies many aspects of an anti-hero: be it common tropes (ex. Dark and Troubled Past), or tip the scales further into extremity (ex. Psycho for Hire and Femme Fatale), it’s really fun working on his characterization… as much as I struggle to comprehend his complex, multilayered nature.

I dunno if people see him as a misunderstood villain—guaranteed, this guy literally kills for a living, and he was a war criminal at one point (as a major participant during the Magi War in the Fifth Astral Era). His unique physical condition has twisted his perception of time, like he’s stuck in a psychological limbo akin to a living hell, for eternity. While the idea of eternal life has been explored many times in the game (both the MSQ and mostly the ARR side-quests), to an immortal like Yiuno, only death can bring him true peace.

Oh wait, sounds like Emet-Selch much? Not really—for one, Yiuno does not crave for the past (in fact, he wished he could erase it and start over again), and he doesn’t believe in utopia. While Emet tried to justify his genocidal acts as a “necessary ritual” to reclaim his lost paradise, Yiuno doesn’t even bother to sugar coat the war crimes he’d committed. Though Emet (in Shadowbringers, not Endwalker) did humor the idea of giving the current world a chance as he observed how WoL and the Scions tried to save the First, he never stopped to show outright contempt for the Sundered, calling them lesser beings unworthy of existing. Yiuno, however, never harbors any form of racism or social prejudice towards anyone—on one hand, he sees people as, well, just people; on the other hand, he may appear to be rather apathetic and detached (and hence why he could kill people as willingly as Emet, but for different reasons).

It also didn’t help that his childhood was equally fucked up. Born into a clan with an unconventional (and controversial) family system and societal rules, Yiuno grew up pretending to be a girl for many years just so that he could stay together with his twin sister for as long as possible. This twisted upbringing gave him a rather unique outlook to gender and sexuality—while he identify himself as biologically male and is very much aroace, mentally he feels disconnected and sees them as mere labels. It’s hard for me to explain in a way that people can understand, without radical folks jumping the gun and dissing me about “misrepresentation” and stuff, so I won’t go into details here. (If you want to know more, feel free to ask me in DMs!)

I guess the last line rings true—perhaps it’s easier to hate him for no reason at all. I mean, unless it’s his soulmate Y’shtola or the energetic curious child Sora, very few people have the patience and time to learn more about a walking history like Yiuno.

[thehandwixard]

augh xehanort's psychology is just so interesting to me he is in the torment dimension!! like in some ways he put himself there but he didnt do so knowingly thats like saying sora put himself in the torment nexus of identity splintering because he unlocked his heart. with xehanort literally also did in a paralleling scene i might add.

anyways its just like. having this entire life history and journey of pushing against the mores and rules you were raised with and exploring and seeing what the world is actually like outside what you were taught and what your role in it was and hating your current body, going to extreme lengths to get out of it, and then the person you become hates the body you went into as well, and goes through the exact same process of feeling trapped and desperate but still so curious and excited about the world even to disastrous ends.

[pinkprimrose05]

Looking aggressively

can you please do Sora for the fave least fave otp thingy??

Sure thing!

Favorite thing about them: The Layers.

Take it this way- Sora's like a teeny tiny piece of sweet candy, hidden under a sad, dull wrapping of loneliness. And another of prickliness. And another of misled loyalty and beliefs. And a final, garishly bright one of childish enthusiasm, that leaves you wondering which of them is the real wrapper.

The answer? All of the previous. The contradictions and conflict shaping Sora's character are so strong they reflect in his deck too, in one of the arguable best shows of thematic references from an archetype in the franchise's history. Neat.

Least favorite thing about them: Obligatory "he deserved better" aside, I actually have little to no gripes with Sora. Like yeah okay his "oooh very mysterious" disposition in arc 1 was kinda grating on first watch, but he grew on me exceptionally fast. Perks of being a tiny piece of sugar concentrate, I suppose.

Favorite line: As you can tell from my previous answers, I rarely if ever remember particular lines. However, I do have to give a shoutout to Sora in Ep136 specifically, because by god, the emotion carrying through his voice is just perfect. And by perfect I mean it punched me in the feels so hard I was reeling for the rest of the episode the moment he shed a tear. Twice.

brOTP: To the surprise of nobody ever, it's Yuuya. I actually oscillated a lot between him and Yuzu while typing this out, but then I got the very compelling argument of rewatching all my favorite Sora bits- and it turns out there's more Yuuya in those. Figures.

I really wish they got more personal screentime together, because their relationship and foil status seemed very important in the S1 finalé and then... never got brought up again? Not that prominently, anyway.

I will, however, applaud Episode 80 and its aftermath, and even Episode 136 for the aforementioned punch in the feels- i.e that time when Sora finally mustered the will to reach out to his friend first... and promptly came to the crushing realization that it was far too late. I can't explain in words how important this moment was to me. Ow.

OTP: Error 404 - Not Found

nOTP: Standard disclaimer applies here; as long as it's appropriate, it's fine.

Random headcanon: Having decided to settle in Maiami when all was said and done, Sora put in genuine effort to skip a year in middle school- and passed with flying colors!

...All for the purpose of going to the same class as everyone. Now they'll never be safe from his boundless silliness for the foreseeable future!

(Shhh, nobody tell him about college.)

Unpopular opinion: I feel like it's pretty hard to find a hot take for this kid; most of the fanbase seems to be in agreement about their sentiments toward Sora, and I'm no exception to the hypothetical rule.

Song I associate with them: When Can I See You Again, by Owl City. Yes. The Wreck-It Ralph ending. I don't quite remember what stuck the song to him, but I'd wager that younger me watched a Sora episode in succession with the movie and went "oh this kinda reminds me of him".

Favorite picture of them:

The puppy eyes shot from Ep5 is a Very close second, but I'm weak to cute winks. This is peak kawaii by Sora standards until someone reminds me of an even cuter shot.

[tis-i-bi-oxirito]

Ok ok, so I have a (possibly bad) theory that isn’t really a theory but more my brain trying to figure stuff out

So, ever since Kingdom Hearts III, I’ve kinda been wondering, in the back of my messy, messy mind, why Ephemera helped (? I’m guessing he was the one leading the fallen kids, at least) Sora at the Keyblade Graveyard.

I mean, I get why, big heartless storm, xehanort being xehanort, xehanort being Ephemera’s descendent (that was kinda confirmed right? I don’t remember for sure) which kinda makes him his responsibility a bit, yada yada yada.

It’s more like, why didn’t he do it before. Like, it’s not the first confrontation against old man Xehanort chronogically in the series. Why didn’t Ephemera help at the confrontation at the end of BBS? I mean, Ven was his friend, surely he’d want to help him not, you know, die or even just get turned into a weapon of mass destruction? (I gotta mention: Vanitas gets helped by the fallen kids’ keyblades during that confrontation iirc, so was that because of the darkness? Because he used to be part Ventus so he kinda counts as a union leader? Why wasn’t Ven helped by the keyblades then? Did Ephemera try to help Ven but accidentally chose the wrong one (oopsie teehee, oh well, better luck next time)? Anyways that’s weird and has always bothered me ever since I knew whose keyblades those were)

One of the explanations I can see for Ephemera no helping then is that Xigbar was running interference or something. I guess he didn’t interfere in KH III because of the Book of Prophecies or something, idk. Maybe Ephemera also didn’t act because of something in the Book of Prophecies, idk, I’m just trying to find some explanations

(Actual theory under the cut ahah)

But yeah, anyways, my bad theory

It came to me, as I was eating tortellini in the dark at 11:30 PM after taking a longer-than-planned 5 hours nap, what if… Sora was Ephemera’s reincarnation? Ok ok that’s a really shaky theory, I’ll admit it, but I don’t control was goes on in that brain (ahah, Brain) of mine

In any case, back to what I was saying, tortellini, 5 hour nap, Sora is maybe Ephemera’s reincarnation, ok, right, yes, back on track. So, Ephemera totally, very definitely died, right? It’s been like, a couple of centuries most likely, so he is either super dead, some kind of ghost just haunting the Keyblade Graveyard, or he’s the world’s oldest grandpa. From what we’ve seen in khux, when someone dies (or at least a keyblade wielder) for realsies (kingdom hearts death tends to be, ha, ephemeral), they either become a dream eater or they go in the reincarnation cycle or whatever (from what I remember at least, it’s been a minute). So either Ephemera turned into a cute colourful animal that 100% deserves a pet, or he went on to reincarnate, ya know?

(He could have also said ‘fuck you rules of the universe, I never liked you anyways’ and created a third option for himself out of sheer will. If anyone could, it would be him)

But yeah anyways, that could explain why he only shows up, cool red scarf swaying in the wind anime style, to Sora. Like, maybe a small tiny part of his soul (heart?) remained

It could also explain why Sora’s heart healed Ven’s at the beginning of BBS. There’s the reason that Sora’s heart was a newborn one of course, but if he was Ephemera’s reincarnation, then it’s not hard to believe that he would be drawn in by Ven’s presence.

Also, Ephemera has an association with the color red due to his scarf. You know who else is usually associated with red? Sora (and Lea, whose entire existence is red, but this ain’t about him)

(I have also thought of the possibility that Sora is maybe Ephemera’s descendant instead, but that would mean that he’d be related to Xehanort which is wild, but I do think that that theory is even more shaky than the reincarnation one. Tbh, I think that Riku being Ephemera’s descendant could be more likely, which, again, would make him related to old man Xehanort. Omg i just had an idea for an AU where Riku is actually Xehanort’s son/grandson, but that’s a story for another day i guess)

So, yeah, here’s my bad and unlikely theory. This is my first time making a post of this kind and I still don’t know how tumblr works so I’m very sorry if this looks like an incomprehensible mess. Thanks for reading though :)

[aeoki]

Grand Slam - Epilogue 5

Location: Yumenosaki Grounds (Sports Festival) Characters: Tomoya, Keito, Rei, Sora & Aira

< A few more hours later. Right after the start of the last event, “Grand Slam”, on Day 3 of the “Old-Fashioned Sports Festival”. >

Keito: “Now–”

Rei: “Even if you cry or smile, this is the last battle.”

Keito: “With this–”

Rei: “In terms of the score differences between the teams, this will be the final battle as the name of the event suggests.”

“The winner of this event will be the overall winner of the ‘Old-Fashioned Sports Festival’.”

Keito: “...Stop cutting me off every time, Sakuma.”

“I’ll rephrase that. Stop pestering me and using that as a method to destress. How incorrigible.”

“The sun has yet to set. You must be in a bad mood and not feeling well.”

Rei: “I figured you wouldn’t mind that sort of thing, Hasumi-kun~”

“We’re good childhood friends, are we not? You won’t get angry over a little thing like this, right? Right?”

Keito: “A hedge between keeps friendship green. I don’t have any intentions of getting along with you. If anything, ‘Akatsuki’ and ‘UNDEAD’ are sworn enemies.”

Rei: “Aww~...? You’re saying that after all we’ve been through…?”

Keito: “What’s with that reaction? Anyway, the other graduates also mentioned this, but we aren’t the main figures.”

“The main figures are the current students who are living their youth right now.”

Rei: “Indeed. You should all look past our jokes like a gentle breeze and enjoy the school event. In actuality, that should be your highest priority.”

Keito: ”Right. Every team should keep focused and enjoy it to the fullest.”

Rei: “We’ll be having fun watching you all ♪ That’s what the appropriate relationship between us should be, no?”

Keito: “Yeah. This is the place we left to go out into the real world. Though it seems there are some people who have nothing to do with Yumenosaki here, and yet they still butt in.”

“You should all do exactly as Sakuma said: Ignore them, laugh it off and press forward.”

Rei: “Right. It’s your life, you should live however you wish.”

“That would most definitely be the ‘correct’ way.”

Tomoya: (Ahaha… As usual, Sakuma-senpai always manages to end everything in a really nice way.”

(That’s also why, whenever “UNDEAD” is involved and things start getting rough and messy, it feels like it’ll all be a happy ending in the end.)

(We believe our upperclassmen will wrap up everything for us nicely, so we should do what we must and do our best.)

Sora: HaHa~♪ The “Old-Fashioned Sports Festival” was a long one but it’s finally coming to an end?

It was a lot of fun! With this, we can definitely cleanse the “bad thing” ♪

Aira: Honestly, I’m at my limit… I’m so tired.

Tomoya: Hang in there, Shiratori. The final event, “Grand Slam”, is a relay with everyone.

All the players will pass a baton to each other and run a fixed distance between them.

Aira: There were a whole bunch of ridiculous events, but they went the classic path and chose something normal for the final event…

On the other hand, it’s a battle of our true strength and it doesn’t leave any room for cheating, so I’m actually worried.

I’m still nothing compared to all the upperclassmen.

But just because I’m the leader, that doesn’t mean I have to shoulder everything on my own. The rules state that we can run any distance we want.

I feel bad just taking the best part, but I only intend on running a little bit and leaving the rest to the amazing people.

Like Hiro-kun, who’s a stamina monster. As the leader watching everyone, I feel like I got to see everyone’s new sides other than their idol sides this time.

It might be a bit late to say this, but I think I know just the right people for the right places now.

Like the troublesome “Trickstar” upperclassmen who tend to go rampant or Himemiya-senpai from “fine” who is actually quite mean…

I saw sides to them that might burst the bubble for some people.

But more than that, I got to see so many amazing sides to them that I respect.

As I thought, I think I’ve come to love idols even more.

Everyone is really, just so ravely…♪

…Oh, it’s my turn now. I’ll be running ahead, senpais.

I’m off.

Tomoya: Yeah. Good luck, first-year~♪

Sora: HiHi~♪ Yes! As per the prophecy, “Team NewDi” has to win, so Sora won’t hold back!

Sora will say this over and over again, but it’s not fun unless everyone goes all out~♪

Aira: It’s not like any of us wanted us to go easy on each other, right?

Aira: Be serious about it, senpai. Going easy on me would make it look like you’re making fun of me, and that will only make me feel horrible.

We won’t lose that easily.

~......♪

Tomoya: Haha. I’m glad. It’s like he broke out of his shell, but he can finally put a good smile on his face. At the very last moments.

Sora: HuHu~♪ It’s all thanks to Tomoya-chan~ Tomoya-chan, did you use the most effective magic on Ai-chan?

Tomoya: I can’t use magic. I’m not like you; I’m just a normal person who grew up normally.

But even for someone like me, there should be something I can do.

Sora: Yes ♪ Tomoya-chan did “that”! That’s why Sora thinks Tomoya-chan is amazing!

Sora has been thinking that way for the whole “Old-Fashioned Sports Festival”~

After watching and learning from everyone, Sora will also do what he can.

Tomoya: ………?

← Previous Chapter ᠂ ⚘ ˚⊹˚ ⚘ ᠂  Next Chapter →

[larrythefloridaman]

Rewatch notes update! Cpuk 12-14! These notes are getting Dense as i have to resist the urge to give play by plays. The P. Rool arc sits below the cut.

CPUK12! j0hn intro ep of sode <3

Johannsen's champion ruleset is kept a secret at first, but as im sure you'll remember, was 'i get to fight in all round 3s. because im boredt im here to scrap not sit around in the champion's suite.'

Introduces team calibur as the team of disrespect and Possible Evil. Korioni the ice dragon from hell being the first calibur contestant post crimson is very funny to me especially because it's the Chill head talking in this episode. Hell has no ice but hes just vibing with it. Ryan: "Squid Jenny tried to go down and ask like 'whats your story?' and all she got was 'I'm an ice dragon from hell.'" Comona: "no big deal." Ryan: "He's not like 'YOU ALL WILL SUFFER, BLEGH' hes just like 'yeah im from hell. dont worry about it.' Comona: "like 2000s neopets rp boards." Korioni: "grass grows, birds fly, and brother? I'm from hell." Chill head's Dramatic And Aggro brother getting retroactively vagued about

Spaghebbi <3 Comona has heard of her, from when she applied to the tournament, looking over her resume, and she uses the stage name spaghebbi to advertise her restaurant of the same name to boost her brand.

Team charm, Pixel! Fashionable funny doggie here to look good and give the world a show.

Team clutch, Jacob. Normal suburban 11 year old who plays fortnite that acquired special powers after killing real actual ganondorf from the legend of zelda. He's the nephew of Somebody in cpu kerfuffle. Jay's submission information: 'also jacob's like. Stupid. Like REALLY stupid even for an 11 year old.' Guess we know why he didn't notice anything was weird considering the guy he's the protege of, punished k. rool, isn't actually there but rather Some Guy Stealing His Identity,

Team Chonk P. Rool! Plumb <3 As we eventually learn the intro information on p. rool is only applicable to the guy he stole the identity of. But the real punished k. rool is a rude ass chaos fiend who's scales dulled to brown after enduring a punishing training arc. 

Team cones! John my beloved <3 Comona: "Everybody knows Hackers are meant to be disruptive, to lurk in the shadows but Hackerman John not exactly the kind of hacker people would think him to be. He has his very very long universal key- the Skeleton Key if you would- but he doesn't just use it to hack, but he also uses it to slice and dice. He'll hack but you're gonna know he's coming." Ryan: "but you know what key he uses the most right?" Comona: "which ones that?" Ryan, doing a shulk impression: "BACKSLASH!"

Team Cross, johnathan joestar. Jojokes. Gentlemanliness.

Team Craken, Duke Salad! King of the crop. That thing's straight up just some lettuce Hoedown and Patch grew that came to life <3

Exhibition match- Johannsen vs. Blond Sora! Ryan realizes he hasnt put johannsen into the system yet and comona and Ryan joke about maybe needing john to help out with fixing the overlays

Duke salad v. P. Rool - P. Rool's infamous comeback potential is first described RIGHT out the gate. Comona: "when you're fighting P. Rool and you're in the lead, you don't want to give him time to consider the last time he got his ass beat, you don't want to let him imagine that wall because he will use those feelings." Haha yeah he sure will. Several tournaments of forced losses will sure as fuck give him Some Feelings To Use.

Duke Salad nearly zeroes to death the first stock of the second match and P. Rool dunks him anyway for a 2-0. Comona: "P. Rool THRIVES when he's behind."

Pixel vs. Johnathan. Commentators still nervous about Johannsen's special secret rule. Jojokes abound. Pixel is trying too hard to style on johnathan. Pixel gets 2-0'd and three stocked, and Johnathan finds his tenacity inspiring. Pixel: "dont patronize me." But he isnt hes just earnest like that

Hackerman John vs. The Ice Dragon From Hell, Korioni. A joke is made about John sounding like Patrick Warburton, which. god. god no. Awful. /lh 

Ryan: "See, I've played enough Overwatch to know you don't actually need compatible technology to hack, you can just go LEGS? HACKED, COMBAT ROLL? HACKED, FLASH GRENADE? HACKED."

They land in reset bomb forest for match one and Ryan says Korioni casually burned this village down because it was full of sinners, You Know How It Is, and now uses the burnt space as a vacation home. Huh.

Comona: "my favorite part about hackerman john is the way that he actually hacks his own body, like he bulks up his muscles and a variety of other various things. The weird part about it is he's not even a cyborg or anything he just hacks… muscles." Ryan: "taking tips from Sombra." lol. lmao

They go stock for stock, despite commentators concerned at the start that John would, as a simple mortal hacker, have trouble dealing with An Actual Literal Dragon. Korioni is also confused by this. Korioni: "why is this Mortal giving me so many problems what is his Deal?" John bullies immortals for fun moments <3

J0hn activates Glass Cannon Protocol (smash art) last stock high percents and goes 'either im hitting and winning or getting hit and losing. either way im making it end here' and Comona admires the gumption even though it costs john the match. John's Decisive Straightforwardness is probably something Larry admires about him honestly, considering how much more fidget-y about what-ifs he seemed to be before they were together, based on the nccts. Guy who "knows exactly who he is and what he wants to be" (cpuk17) for sure.

Also, commentators use she/her a few times for Korioni in addition to he/him, or at least, as canon later establishes them as a hydra, the Normal Chill Guy head. (nccts making it clear this head's individual name is Jonny. Lot of johns and jons in this tournament. CPU Kerfuffle, shockingly, one of the only shows ive enjoyed with a somewhat realistic amount of Johns.) Good for her!

John doesn't do so hot in the first match or the start of the second, but starts playing dirty and quickly, disrespectfully turns the set around. The first round three of the tournament reveals Johannsen's special rule- The Rat Fights in All Round Threes, at a lower cpu level. (Its funny to me that every time ryan wants to nerf a character he lowers the cpu levels but like. That doesnt make them Weaker it makes them Dumber, which sometimes is Advantageous- there's a brief terrifying moment where johannsen is in the lead despite being lower leveled because sometimes a lower level cpu will go for plays a level 9 would be too smart to go for or expect and sometimes, that pays off!) Anyhow. John utilizes the rat as a distraction to make easier work of Korioni. Korioni's a little scared of the rat.

Comona: "John must have paused the game to get that tech because that was IMPOSSIBLE." There's a joke about John's 'hackerman eyes' and him getting visions of the Very Immediate future and skipping them if they're just not interesting enough. Understanding in retrospect why I got so attached to The Visor as a design element. Also, Quad, in a later episode: "I can't see the future. Yet." Why you holding out on the man, John? Gonna share the precog software with the rest of the class? Anyway. potentially another drop of evidence in my 'sensitivity to/ability to manipulate/perceive the script is generally perceived as Weird Psychic Phenomena by the denizens of the cpukverse but doesn't seem to be Known About, Understood or Believed In outside specific circles' worldbuilding speculation bucket

Jacob vs. Spaghebbi. Spaghebbi replaced her arms with spaghetti. Jacob is an 11 yr old that plays fortnite. He feels Exactly like captain falcon when he wipes out tilted towers. Jacob is the kind of kid to eat microwave chicken nuggets off of the fine china. Comona and Ryan chatter nervously about how it feels almost like theyre watching a real person play as Spaghebbi plays with her food. They feel like Spaghebbi could pass the turing test. Jacob gets spaghetti sauced on. 

Losers bracket! Duke Salad vs. Pixel. Ryan: "so. who do you think is going to win, and Be Nice About it." Comona: "to put this lightly- as lightly as possible to be kind as i can… after Pixel's SHAMEFUL display in winners bracket, i don't see pixel standing a CHANCE against duke salad. If i put it any lighter than that I would be telling you lies."

Johnathan taught Pixel Hamon and Pixel did much better against the Duke than expected in their first match. I don't know enough about jojos to comment on this. Pixel and the Duke go stock for stock in match 2, and Duke takes it. Game Three. Rat Time. Ryan: "From what I know about Pixel, they're gonna get tilted by the rat, but maybe their training with Johnathan has made them a little more patient."

The Red Kraken visits Patch farms often, but Duke Salad's never ridden on their ship, the Crimson Melody. Duke salad makes the match a 2v1 and takes johannsen and pixel stocks in a killstreak. Duke Salad's patience is emphasized, between poison cloud and the special cannonball move, and takes Pixel's last stock.

Korioni vs. Jacob. Jacob just wandered in here and fought a restaurant owner and is now fighting An Ice Dragon From Hell. 11yr old fortnite player vs. A Dragon. Ryan: "equal power."

Yoshi's Island. Comona: "ah, this is where korioni actually grew up, when they were a young wyrmling." Ryan: "yeah, before The Great Catastrophe. You'll see the great catastrophe later on I'm sure." Korioni: "you are 11 years old? It's cute that you have a concept of time." 

Ryan: "I love the lore with Korioni right now, she's just an eldritch being but she's like. Incredibly Chill about it. Pun intended." Comona: "completely intended."

Korioni is getting her ass beaten by an 11 year old because Kori keeps trying to outplay jacob and stumbling into failure. Jacob is not winning, korioni is losing, crucial difference. Korioni starts bringing it back, until Jacob fucking Gets Him offstage. Comona: "the dragon's pride is often their downfall."

(Knocking on door) Are You Winning Son? Jacob, with his single bouncing screensaver braincell: "yeah im winning i Love bloodsport!"

Second match, Korioni's home turf, Hell. Korioni loses her first stock in less than 20 seconds. Comona says Jacob's gotta be scouted for esports teams soon looking at these plays.

Korioni's losing the spirit to fight and goes yknow what? Maybe I should just leave the fighting to the kids and go continue being An Awesome Dragon From Hell instead, maybe cpu kerfuffle just isn't for me. Jonny gave it a go and isnt interested in showing up again. As we see later though, his siblings/other heads however…

Korioni and Pixel go for coffee as the first guys out. Comona: "I'd love to see a just… ice dragon from hell. At starbucks." Ryan: "yeah, with this fashion gay wolf." Comona: "power couple." Ryan: "we should leave the gossip to squid jenny." huh. pixel/jonny. donkey and dragon from shrek type beat

P. Rool vs Johnathan Joestar. Comona suggests Jojo's nurturing empathy and Punished K. Rool, who thrives on punishment, are bound to clash over fundamentally opposed ideals. As we know, this isnt actually punished k. rool but Plum, who's 'thriving when punished' comeback factor is more fueled by rage than anything. Match goes about as they usually do for Plum- hes losing at first, down to the wire, and then firmly Doesn't. Death by chonk. Lot of jojokes i do not understand. Johnathan homie stocks while down a game. Ryan suggests it was so his lead doesn't stay too big and activates Prool's punishment complex. Comona: "P. Rool functions on revenge and revenge alone, and Johnathan knows better than to let him tap into those selfishly driven emotions. P. Rool still does his stupid comeback thing. For the fourth time. Ryan's start of darkness, almost whining: "die already..." Comona: "this is- this is rapidly approaching plot armor levels of ridiculous."

John vs. Spaghebbi. Comona: "for all intents and purposes if someone didnt know what this was, you'd walk up to these two and these are just two people fighting in the streets, like whats going on, but despite these two's normal, grassroots upbringings, these are two formidable opponents. I'm reminded of the dragonball world fighting tournaments- these are people who just fight as a hobby and enjoy it and testing their abilities."

Comona: "johns a very sneaky player, i always feel like johns getting sauced and then i actually look and percents are even." Ryan: "hes very funny because he'll look like hes getting his ass kicked and then hes just. winning." John survives past 200% on his first stock without using Shield Protocol.

John chokes last minute in their second match, throwing because He Wanted The Rat. He Has Chosen The Rat. Guy who is Completely Willing and Unphased By the prospect of embarrassing himself if it means getting to see a lil guy. Its suggested this was an attempt at a strategic play but if it was it did Not work out. He wanted to see a little guy. lets be honest. Spaghebbi's playing loose, cutting loose, putting on her fucking footloose. Feet, foot feet, dance on your fucking feet.

The giants from majora's mask are hired on staff to keep the moon from crashing into the beach. 

Comona: "Hackerman John's gonna need to hire some help to get through this one." Ryan audibly struggles to confidently remember Dan's name to make a joke about John hiring him. John gets very close to bringing it back, but ultimately spaghebbi takes it. 

Chat member: "Hackerman John and Shapeshifter Larry. Gay?" Ryan, with an air of mystery: "who knows?" the seed is planted.

Jojo v. Jacob. A gentleman must always shake hands first. Jacob knows jojo memes and nothing else about it. Jojo loses a stock second match at 10 seconds in. Jacob really really really likes upsmashes. This set is mostly direct match commentary. People chant and beg and PLEAD for the rat and they get what they want. Jojo, Jacob, Johannsen. J. Jacob wins.

Chat member: "what is Johannsen's Last name?" Ryan: "no idea, have to get squid jenny to check on that." There's speculation in chat about Johannsen being, in some sense, a jojo,

Hackerman John vs. Duke Salad. John loses his first stock VERY fast. You can't hack a plant. It's not allowed. It doesn't work. John loses first match spectacularly. Ryan is getting a report from the field. Ryan: "Hackerman John's showing some weird signs of… something, he's panting really hard, he's sweating a lot according to Squid Jenny- maybe if this goes to round three we'll see what's going on." John manages to pull ahead and take round 2.

Ryan: "update on the report from the field from Jenny, the sweating from hackerman John has continued, and with that successful victory, he's making an announcement to everybody. Let me make sure I'm hearing this right- 'time to reveal the true form.' I don't know what that means but I get the feeling we're about to find out." Strangest part of this is how much effort it appears to take for John to… whatever this is. He changes form pretty casually later and it doesn't seem like maintaining his human-looking appearance takes him any active effort in later appearances, nor do I see why it would, so my best guess is he's psyching himself up to do the Robot Reveal and. maybe powering through having a bit of a panic attack about it? In nccts terms this is extra interesting because this is the moment on a narrative level he's first established as robotic in nature and as gaiden 2 and then the nccts later establish this means, script-sensitive, which j0hn explicitly mistakes for/processes as anxiety, so this must've Felt Pretty Weird.

Anyhow, introducing- Hackerbot J0hn! With a freshly minted zero in his name. In a sudden turn of events, the reason he can augment himself so freely is because he's a robot that can hack other bots. And its round three, so there's also a Rat In The Mix. Duke Salad: "...I just fucking work here, man." 

J0hn, now working with the fullness of his robotic potential, still is not used to it even a little bit and does not do well. Drawbacks of not using your fucked up science-granted powers unless you think you need them for practical reasons- having MUCH less practice at using them than your boyfriend who uses his every ten minutes for fun or because he cant help it, I suppose. He's still hacking himself on the fly but in a very different style, Ryan says. He's actively less effective in combat in his 'true form' than he is in his human 'disguise,' but J0hn's just happy to have shown off his true self to the world and heads off to relax and get coffee. Ryan: "He can't drink it, but he's gonna go get it." 😔

Winners Finals. Prool vs. Spaghebbi. Round one goes to prool and its stupid and makes ryan understandably angry. Ryans asking the referees to double check and make sure all that was legal, and it seems to be. Round 2 goes similarly, even with Spaghebbi trying to play defensively against Prool's comeback power. Ryan admits as Spaghebbi loses 2-0 that he doesnt want Prool to be champion and, after saying he shouldn't metagame, that he cant just make him ditch to go back to his home dimension like dani, he says, no, fuck it, he doesnt want Prool to be champion, and hes willing to cheat to stop it from happening. 

Round one is thrown out with concerns about the legitimacy of the win on grounds of Prool pulling some fuckshit. Spaghebbi is given another match with him to set the record for real. Spaghebbi was perfectly fine with losing, but the refs called her out for a redo and she wasn't going to turn down another shot at winning. Prool is starting to get irritated with this- the refs gave their first round the a-okay already, why do they have to redo it anyway? Regardless, Prool fully confirms his 2-0.

Jacob vs. Duke salad. Mostly just match commentary, but a very fun set. Duke Salad's got his eyes on a rematch with Prool. 'Duke, you killed a child… Amazing!'

Duke Salad vs Spaghebbi. FOOD FIGHT. Round one on fountain of dreams. Very even, very steady very tense. Ryan's blatant bias is for duke salad, and the duke takes match one. Round 2 goes to Spaghebbi. Rat Time. Johannsen does very little and Spaghebbi wins.

Grand finals. Spaghebbi and Prool rematch. Getting a report from the field before the first round- Duke Salad has given Spaghebbi a gift. A House Salad, from the duke himself. She eats the salad and throws herself into the first match with Prool. 

Spaghebbi gets the first stock even after a cannonball to the head. Prool's comeback potential looms. Spaghebbi takes it to a last stock situation and Ryan holds his breath, trying not to hope, and he was right not to. Prool takes it last second despite Spaghebbi's huge percent lead. Ryan cant even bear to comment.

Round 2. Green Greens. Ryan keeps trying not to have hope Spaghebbi will take this so he wont be disappointed, his biases now fully, shamelessly on display, having turned against Prool entirely. Chat Member: "Hangry, red, villainous, anyone else think something's up?" Ryan: "...hm. i dont wanna make any assumptions, but…"

Ryan admits to being salty as chat comments on his deafening silence watching Prool and Spaghebbi fight, fully convinced she's going to lose. Hes right. she does. Prool wins.

Ryan openly declares he will not allow prool to become champion as he queues up the championship match. Ryan, talking out of his ass: "I know what you did, Punished K. Rool. I know. And I'm not letting you do it here." ← this is nothing and goes nowhere. he is using his powers of storytelling to say fuck this lizard because he doesnt want him to win <3

Hes too mad to even commentate about johannsen losing to Prool. He is grumbling and grouching and salty and peeved. 

Its time to break some rules! And so an exception is enshrined IN the rules- fuck prool. prool is jumped by a collection of competitors to be prevented from taking his earned championship- Johannsen, Captain Valentine, Big Yopper, Spaghebbi, Duke Salad, Rights Sentience, and Mario from Super Mario. Most of them are said to be there for revenge of some kind in a very handwavey sense, rights is supposedly there because Prool is 'an affront to rights,' ironic given this whole exchange is the tournament wrenching away Prool's rightfully earned win on a basis of 'fuck that guy in particular.' I assume while revenge is the blanket statement the real motive for the participating parties here is another chance at championship despite the breach of rules and fairness, not unlike Spaghebbi's unearned redo, and not unlike the competitors apparently devolving into mad max shenanigans offscreen when the champion's seat was left 'unclaimed' during the hiatus. (it was captain crimsons. but this was apparently left unacknowledged for 'fuck that guy' reasons which like. Is justified in a vacuum but is and has Become even more kinda retroactively weirdly targeted over time in a way as the comedically driven moral double standard about murder in the show reveals itself, as is hilariously demonstrated by the commentators discussing letting the Grunk, himself manslaughtered and brought back which everyone hates crimson for, just attack and/or kill whoever he wants if it's funny in the next season and as is briefly discussed in the nccts. Murder is okay but only if we like you and its funny 👍)

Ryan had fun watching him get ganged up on. Valentine gets the last hit in, and the three characters who got kills on prool enter a four player free for all with him and whoever wins gets championship. Ryan: "if Prool wins this one, I promise I will accept it. Just kidding I'll pull some other bullshit because im a bitch baby The Real Championship Begins!"

Captain Valentine wins, finally getting his groove back after 11. Captain Valentine: "Fuck That Rat!" Ryan: "Honestly? To be fair? Right now? You know what, I think Captain Valentine's just happy that in the end he doesnt have to fight that FUCKING rat again." 

Ryan throws that rat at him for shits and giggles. Apparently this fight is happening because Val just wants to put his pride back together. He is doing worse than last time at first, but hes developing a begrudging respect for the little fella, and manages to pull out a win. Ryan promises Prool can come back next tournament and try again, for the sake of fairness, and dont worry chat, he has a plan.

CPUK13! ryan catches jay and comona up to speed. Jay, punished k. rool and jacob came from another universe. They had tickets for the Dimensional Plane (GOOD pun, and also very funny confirmation that the bus is not the only means of public interdimensional transport. In the nccts universes are implied to have some element of physical proximity/distance between universes to account for with regard to travel time, what with nelson warp not being instantaneous and such. so i suppose it makes sense there might be different forms of dimensional transport accommodating for said travel time, planes are faster long distance than cars and all,) but jay couldnt go. Punished K. Rool was such a heel however that noone wanted him to win, so there was a 7v1 to stop him from becoming champion. Jay: "yeah thats about accurate to what i expected."

Ryan: "now, this was a very big breach of The Rules, and the Iggy Collective elected, in the interest of fairness, to invite P. Rool back to try again, along with some other people." 'In the interest of fairness' is the Funniest way that could be put because whats fair about that. You blocked him from becoming champion as a group Just Because You Dont Like Him, and then tell him 'you can go ahead and try again if you want!' With full intent to do it again if he wins. Like thats not fairness you are playing matador and P. Rool is an angry bull for whom there is no winstate. "We'll let you win if you can win when we won't let you win."

Jay, talking about Punished: "Prool is a really good fighter, and yknow nobody likes to acknowledge that hes a really good fighter, because he's just an asshole. Hes the biggest heel. He counter picks to stages he wont even win on because he just wants to piss you off. He'll turn items on when its illegal." Ryan: "damn. What an asshole. We all hate him." Plum does not understand why everyone hates him so much, alas hes been mistaken for Some Guy Who Sucks whose behavior he obliviously resembles 😔

Zagreeus, from Hayds! Zagreeus is a 14 yr old edgy bi kid that loves and kins zagreus from hayds. His submission information states that he found zagreus's plight with his parents and life in darkness relatable, and has tried to summon gods before, failing every time but once, when a god took pity on him and didnt want him burning down his parents garage with a gasoline summoning circle. Some unnamed goddess granted him the powers he wanted, and with them, and equipped with his power glove (which is So Bad, and that he uses to play hayds,) he joined cpu kerfuffle. Okay so what id remembered about him kinning zagreus so hard he developed his powers either wasnt exactly accurate or that's how the commentators simplify it later or smthn because Wow

Matrimony Knight! Just likes marriage, especially gay marriage. Ryan princess bride mawwiage bit is going to happen All Night.

Genwun! My miserable little clown submission. Ngl when i submitted them i had No idea how bad some people's experiences with genwunners were, they were just A Bizarre Subset of Nostalgia Blind Internet Weirdos With Absurd Beliefs that i knew existed in the abstract but had never met any. Regardless, they get better though and genfour has evolved normal opinions about pokemon and willingness to accept the progression of time. they're my one and only cringefail submission and I do love them.

Chili's! Ryan: "I can't imagine what other restaurant chain a Red Robin would represent." Comona: "yeah, me either." Chili's will get so very angry with you if you label her as any other restaurant. The commentators react with confusion to Jay implying red robin was ever a restaurant that existed, and jay says it must be something that only exists in his dimension. It's all Chili's now. The family coming of age rites name change domination of a new restaurant thing established in cpuk 23 truly be rewriting history huh

Machiavelli! Submission information states: Machiavelli is a science project using the tournament as field practice for testing and creating the perfect killing machine, though it is sometimes very clueless, self-destructive and dimwitted in its actions and lacking knowledge. It adapts to mimic it's opponents fighting styles to learn as combat progresses. Exact sentience unknown, although its intelligence appears to sit somewhere between a child and a dog, loyally following the command of its 'owners,' but shows enough free will to act unprompted in pursuit of its own aimless whims. As for what Machiavelli is, and what he is made for, that information is as of yet unknown.

Twist! The mage aboard the red kraken and first member of the red kraken proper to appear. 

Sephiroth. Just The Real Sephiroth from Final Fantasy 7 and remake. Ryan: "now you might be asking, 'why is he HERE?'" Jay: "do you think we could STOP HIM?! do you think WE know?!" He was not invited, he just showed up. Johannsen was gonna fight but Sephiroth was like *One-Winged Angel plays* (which follows him around like an aura) and Johansen was like *porky pig stammer* w. well Okay-

Sephiroth's comically long sword apparently pierced the hull of the Dimensional Plane and jay apologizes for possibly having brought this upon us all. I think sephiroth's sword should be like doug dimmadome's hat. Infinitely long so that you cant see the end of it whenever its funny for it to be that way

UPS Founder vs. Jacob exhibition match. Not much to comment on here, mostly just plain match commentary.

First match- Sephiroth vs. Chili's. Jay remarks nervously upon chili's resemblance to aerith, while discussing their hopes for the tournaments winners and Valentine's rule changes as champion- cutting a bunch of the weirder, messier stages off the list to leave mostly more clean, traditional ones. Chili's spellbook is a menu and her spells are named after menu items. Thoron is the bigmouth burger. Chili's down-aerithed him into hell <3 sephiroth, unamused: "puns are the lowest form of comedy." She remains rent free in his head the entire second round sending sephiroth to losers Immediately.

Jay: "does Chili's serve wings?" Ryan: "of course it does its a bar and grill, everywhere serves wings." Jay: "well it certainly does now!!" Ryan, getting it: "but only one wing." Comona: "you only get one. Choose Your Sauce Wisely."

Twist vs. Zagreeus. Extended bit about zagreeus being on a bad run and pronouncing greek gods names and things like weapons weird. zayus. Arr-TEM-is. Po-sedd-in. Shy-eld. Spee-are.

Comona: "zagreeus is failing the skill check, how did twist learn to fight like this?" Ryan: "she was born with it. And she may have absorbed the power of an eldritch god but thats beside the point."

Zagreeus loses hard first round. Jay: "if im zagreeus at this point im pulling out the cheat engine." Ryan: "you think so?" Comona: "i dont think the situations that dire yet, lets give him a little credit." Zag manages to take the second round on Gamer, as something of a gamer.

Jay: "if zagreeus is the son of hayds, then the son of zayus would be hercules?" (pronounced like molecules) Ryan: "no, its herakles, obviously" twist dunks zagreeus

Ryan starts queueing up p. rool and Jay pops off so hard it sounds like he stuck his microphone in his mouth. Jay: "im sorry. I get excited." 

Then machi gets queued up! Baby's first match, quick get the camera. Machi is small and light and Jay expresses concern for his ability to survive P. Rool's heavy hits. Jay: "of course, i have no reason to assume hes lightweight considering he's completely original and resembles no other character." Comona: "as much as i'd like to say Machi will pull out a win here, and I do think he'll get off to a hot start. P. Rool always comes back. Like a boomerang."

Ryan is trying to have hope P. Rool will lose. Jay makes the first comment suggesting something is amiss with regard to Punished K. Rool, saying that P. Rool as he knew him HAD been a huge heel but after eating a loss he'd gone away for awhile and when he returned, he'd thought he'd grown, showing his stuff as an incredibly good but much fairer fighter, and that this regression into heeldom is… odd. Machi's like one of the only fighters ive seen consistently dodge pretty successfully with plum's stupid fucking gun. Powerful little dodgebeast. Got SO close to beating p. rool first round. Machiavelli is so powerful and perfect and also balling <3

The second match is so frustrating because machi is working so hard. and i know it's for naught. Anyway its very funny that they describe Machi's battle prowess as 'playing 5D Chess' when babygirl you KNOW he's eating pieces. A close, exciting game.

Matri vs. Genwun. Jay: "having only played one game in their entire life, I think genwun's experiences- theyre pretty limited, having only played pokemon red and blue. I feel like Genwun's gonna lack the matchup knowledge they're gonna need here that they'd have if they played Literally Any Other Video Game or watched anything but Star Wars."

Ryan clarifies again for someone in chat that Iggy and his collective of friends and companions are the showrunners, staff currently including Squid Jenny as field reporter and Home MD as the field medic.

P. Rool hungrybox at the grocery store copypasta

Matri and Genwun slug it out. Comona: "this match is just- The idealism of being together forever for the rest of your life vs.-" Ryan: "being a genwunner." Comona: "I was gonna say never branching out and being alone your entire life." Ryan, more insistently: "yeah, being a genwunner."

Comona, after Matri takes first stock hard: "that is the only time genwun is ever gonna get something put up his ass." GOD!!!!!!!!!!

Jay: "read that like he was reading their vows!" Matri (Comona): "i do promise to WRECK your ASS in SMASH, in Sickness and in Health," Ryan: "matrimony knight can see the FUTURE hes going 'This Will End In Divorce' and then Finishing It!" Jay: "that was not the matchup of two people who have never met, i think these two have Fought Before, these two have a History." They share no words before starting another fight, and genwun looks pissed.

Matri is said to be steel/fairy type, neither of which being things Genwun understands. Also its noted gender wasnt introduced until gen 2 outside the nidorans, ergo why genwun does not participate. Beloved cringe ass loser nonbiney submission of mine. Genwun gets 2-0'd. 

Sephiroth vs. Zagreeus. Sephiroth gets his makeup from sephora. Jay: "I would love nothing more than for Sephiroth to have stowed away in my trunk, forced himself into the competition and then just got stomped." It took way too long for like the third hit to land, they dance around eachother a lot. They discuss some confusion over the exact functionality of Sephiroth's wing mechanic. Jay: "I mean, its not like this is a game or anything we could just ask sephiroth-" Zagreeus reflects a flare killing sephiroth instantly before he can finish the bit. Despite some striking plays from zag he still firmly loses match one.

Zagreeus is adept in minecraft, sephiroth is a nineties kid ill equipped for modern gaming, despite Sephiroths best efforts zag takes first stock and gets so close to taking the second before seph finishes the match with a commanding comeback. sephiroth does Not congratulate him for doing his best but zag just gives a thumbs up to the rest of the fighters and heads to the cafe to relax. Zag got such a tough hand, dealt twist and sephiroth back to back, lil man fought SO hard

Genwun vs. Machiavelli. Genwun struggles to respect and consider their opponents playstyles for adaptation. Machiavelli doesn't respect his opponents not out of malice but because hes a baby that doesn't comprehend how or why he should.

First match takes place on the Unova Pokemon League. Genwun, upon seeing Shaymin: "the fucks that green thing." Machi LOVES to fake people out with the rock. Genwun doesnt get threestocked but gets sauced on so hard that an Event occurs anyway. They meet up with Matri to discuss something. Genwun has been given pokemon platinum on Nintendo DS. Time dilation occurs, (jay says it might be a side effect of him visiting from his dimension? More space and time intertwined-ness,) genwun speedruns the entirety of pokemon platinum in a near instant, watching the lucario movie while making dinner in the middle of this temporary time bubble and transforms into Genfour. Comona suggests they saw shaymin in the background and were like 'i… dont know that one but… i kinda like it…' and decided finally to give more things a try.

One-winged angel plays. Machi: "why do i hear boss music." Genfour's newfound excitement for new things powers them to take like. the only match they ever have <3 as jay says, genfour might make a friend, something genwun never had, and that friend might just be machiavelli!

Megalovania duck hunt. Genfour looks at retro games and says No. Im Clean Now. Nostalgia was their drug of choice and they Want No Part Of It anymore they want to be a Well Rounded Being Now. 

Comona: "im gonna be real with you i need genfour to win this one, I need genfour to see, purely, the joy in living for the future with other people." Jay: "living your life as it is right in front of you, not restricting yourself in the past." Fun thematic foreshadowing for the rest of the season, methinks, given the coming arc villain, introduced in the next episode and Machi's creator, Dr. O's whole 'gifted kid gone rotten' situation, for what is a gifted kid gone rotten but someone who grew up thinking they were special and better than other people and people used to KNOW that and could not accept the reality when they grew up that they are, in fact, just like any other person. (Reinforced by her ironic fate banished into the distant past and further reinforced by the nccts, where she was explicitly still hung up on high school bullshit.) Cue larry coming in swinging with the revelation to break her- that Some Broke Stupid Petty Criminal Cunt from the Grocery Store with enough Patience Determination Resilience and Willingness to Change and Adapt can do exactly what she does and Better when just given the opportunity because she isn't special <3

Genfour loses, but Machi follows them to the cafe to hang out a while. friends!! Its suggested in his submission info in gaiden 2, iirc, that genfour's original mewtwo form served as 'inspiration' for chessmaster's creation, and unlike Plus he wasn't treated as Brand New, so it feels safe to assume Mach 2 was made sometime between this episode and then- and the first time Dr. Order decided to show herself in the tournament instead of sending experiments or assistants and observing is the next episode. not all her creations go straight to tournament when created- Crimsonaut being Crimson's 'respawn point' and next host following being exorcised from the captain, Order's initial study of Crimson samples from the Grunk's corpse mentioned in the nccts, his created purpose and cover story for hosting crimson, and his being paired with the dimensional bus which has referenced usage in season one suggests both that he at least slightly predates cpuk11 and that direct combat was never what he was made for so there was no reason for him to be involved in it until dr. O needed to stock a full tourney, but Mach 2 was a second iteration of her attempts to make the Ultimate Fighter. Did Mach 2 maybe… do poorly enough in some kind of preliminary testing she didn't even bother sending him to tournament and took that slot herself instead? and was that why she was so particularly harsh to him, despite his not rebelling like Google? Much to think about 

Twist vs. Chilis! The queen of the 5$ margarita and the purple pajama'd mage of the red kraken. They go stock for stock but Chili's is unbreakable. Chat: "after this can they go on a date to the cafe"

Comona: "you gotta remember to watch your back going into an applebees after all this." Jay: "yeah cuz chili's is gonna be right behind you tapping on your shoulder like-" Chili's: "are you sure about that?"

Comona follows this bit with a firm disclaimer not to allow cpu kerfuffle characters to create real-life brand loyalties to things that don't care about you and that the commentators dont really care about either. And that by the way for chili's pricepoint just going to a good local place instead is just practicing self-care, honestly. responsible commentating. 

Again twist and chilis go stock for stock, Chili's losing the second round. Mostly match commentary, but theyre some very entertainingly intense matches. Ryan talks a bit about the Taco Mac clause. Theres some fesh pince jokes in there. Round 3 is similar, with more jokes about the Chili's menu. Serving loaded potato skins. Twist is tipping the waiter with a boot to the head. Twist takes it.

Ryan: "people in chat are shipping twist and chili's which- I will say, the character twist is based on is, i think, ace, but this also is a separate continuity- ive got several continuities- so i'm leaving the shipping up to you guys." Comona: "yeah, any headcanons, any fanons- and, I mean, ace doesn't necessarily mean theres no room for something romantic-" ryan: "yeah!"

P.Rool vs. Matrimony Knight. Ryan: "I hate to say this but I do think p.rool is taking this." Comona and Jay agree with an audible grimace. Matri does not do well first round. Comona and Jay make fun of ryan sneezing like someone who should be in a hospital. P. Rool is, as usual, disgustingly powerful in combat. 

Matri begins to pull out a lead second round. Jay: "P. Rool is never on his final form. Watch him pull out D. Rool." Ryan: "what is that, destroyed rool-?" Comona: "what about ja rool."

Matri manages to take it to round 3, to ryan, comona and jay's joy. But they temper their excitement with 'listen its p. rool. Dont get your hopes up. Dont do it.' They're right to do this matri very nearly gets threestocked and the last stock is matri getting dunked like a fucking basketball.

Losers bracket, Chilis vs. Machi. Comona thinks chili's is gonna win the tournament. Jay thinks Machi is going to be a comeback god, losing at first and then taking it back. First match on mario maker. A stage only left legal because ryan LOVES it because it fucks with the ai. Machi doesnt do well with the random stage at first, but brings it back HARD, nearly a reverse threestock, ending with Machi stealing Chili's sword and fucking Getting Her in a clutch move.

Match two funny zelda tower. Machiavelli in his 'anime arc' after copying chili's. Ryan: "he's just grown hair!" Comona: "He's a growing boy!" Stocks stay pretty even throughout, chili's footstooling to take the final kill. Taking it to round 3!

One winged angel, machi and chilis stock for stock again. Machi's on last stock and the commentators are talking about kid icarus uprising nearly the entire match. Chili's walks off, having learned some things herself and is approached by… some shady individuals apparently involved in creating him. Iggy says to pay them no mind. Don't worry about it. Comona: "...is this like the equivalent of like, if Boston Dynamics entered a robot into a smash tournament?" Jay: "this is like if Boston Dynamics entered a robot into a real actual martial arts tournament."

Swordfight! Sephiroth vs matri. Comona: "the two ends of the spectrum as to what constitutes a sword." Fuckin. wedding butter knife versus masamune the doug dimmadome ass katana.

Matri, hank hill impression: "frame data? Cancels? I Just wanna Grill for gods sake!" Also Matri, teleporting behind Sephiroth: "nothing personel, kid."

Matri does not win. If sephiroth wins the set he's fighting chilis. The next match is mostly match commentary with some family guy impressions for flavor. Sephiroth is the kind of guy who mimes crushing it out of spite when you blow him a kiss. Matri manages to take round two.

Word from the field! Sephiroth is pissed. He knows this could be his last game. Ryan: "hey, comona? You know sonicfox, right?" Comona: "of course." Ryan: "you know how in that one game when he thought he was out, he took his hat off?" Sephiroth takes his shirt off. The limiters are off. Matri does best with plenty of momentum but its hard to keep momentum with sephiroth. Matri's wedding vows (for at least one of his weddings) was the opening of the song Start Of Something New from highschool musical. Sephiroth ends up taking it in the most embarassing, sad, possible choke from matri. Sephiroth puts his shirt back on.

Twist vs P. Rool. Drac's Castle. Furthest a team cracken members ever gotten at this point. Twist racks up damage fast. Comona: "is this like, a dark arts emporium twist likes to frequent? Shes looking mad at home right now." Ryan: "y'know with all the purple, it would make sense within the lore of the red kraken story." Twist takes first stock and dash dances on prool and Ryan's almost crying tears of joy.

Twist gets prool down to one stock, then prool takes his first and gets her to over 100% in seconds and then takes her second, and you can hear ryans heart breaking as the other commentators start submitting themselves to the inevitability of Prool comebacks. Twist does, however, manage to take the first match!

Jay starts to turn around a little on prool, saying his loyalties lie first and foremost with people from his home dimension. Ryan: "i understand it. I dont respect it but i understand it." Twist successfully 2-0s Prool and Ryan feels the most alive he has all tourney. Jay: "he'll be back." Comona: "well of course he'll be back, hes still lurking in the losers bracket." Ryan: "nothing you can say will wipe the smile off my face right now."

Chili's vs. Sephiroth runback! Ryan thinks we're gonna see a 2-1, that sephiroths gonna put up a little more of a fight but chili's is still gonna take it. This proves a good guess with sephiroth taking first stock. Sephiroth wasn't taking Chili's seriously before, but now this becomes a meeting of the minds. Chilis still takes match one. Chili's isn't taking Sephiroth seriously anymore.

TWOOOOOO BANANAS.

Round 2, monkey watch wuhu island. Sephiroth may or may not like monkey watch. Jay: "hes an edgelord but thats like, his dayjob, we dont know what he's into in his freetime." Chilis struggles on Wuhu island because there's too much space for bartending and too many local businesses to outcompete her, and sephiroth takes round 2.

Megalovania find mii. Sephiroth is hearing boss music. Terrifying stock for stock match, but chilis keeps the lead and finishes the match with a vicious dunk in the gap. Comona: "stamping a close set with 'but really, i was winning the whole time.'"

Losers finals, Prool vs. Chili's. After twist, prool can officially bleed so Comona feels no reservations about backing chili's. Prool got pineappled at barely over 20%, but chili's loses her first stock only 40% into Prools next. The match is fast and chaotic but not particularly lore-heavy. Chilis takes round one. Jay: "the way i see it, matches with prool dont even start til round 2." Ryan: "if prool gets 2-0d by twist and chilis both thatd be the lesbianest thing ever. Considering the headcanons running around." Next match is stock for stock again, but Plum finishes it, sending them to a round 3, which ALSO goes stock for stock. 

Jay, sounding sad: "if prool loses here youre gonna make me put him back in the car, arent you?" Comona and Ryan, firmly: "YES." They jinx it. Chili's loses, and prool wins by the skin of his teeth with a violence. Jay, scared: "HOW DOES HE DO IT. I DONT WANT HIM BACK. HE WASN'T LIKE THIS IN MY WORLD. I DONT WANT THIS FUCKER BACK." Comona: "you did this." Jay: "I DIDNT DO THIS! I DIDNT DO THIS! IT WAS YOUR WORLD THAT DID THIS TO HIM!" Comona: "alright, Huey Emmerich!" I know just enough about metal gear to know how grievous an insult this is.

Grand finals. Twist vs. P.rool. Ryan: "im so afraid. Because i know p.rool. I know what he's gonna try to do here." Foreshadowing. Ryans trying so hard to have hope. But i know craken won't have a winner in grand finals until gaiden 5. Jay suggests, as a compromise, that if P. Rool wins, they can let Jacob take championship and pick the rules instead. Ryan remains firm that P. Rool cannot win, its against the rules. If Jacob wants it he can win it himself fair and square. Note how things have shifted from 'i need an excuse to keep p. rool out of championship because hes too strong and i dont want to use the same one i used for dani again' to 'FUCK p. rool, no quarter no compromise he is an object to hate for fun.' Due to a simple shift in the rules which ryan Iggy put there. Makes you thonk dont it.

P. Rool bracket resets Twist. The dread is seeping into Ryan. Jay and comona try to cheer him up by pointing out twist might do better on this stage. Ryan: "I liked it better when she 2-0d him but thats just me." Ryan, later, watching Twist still losing and sounding like hes wilting: "I'd like to see him dead, but thats just me." Comona: "P. Rool's really taking advantage of these layers to the stage." Ryan, becoming sephiroth and trailing off: "uh huh. My immortal rage…" Comona: "Yeah, im struck pretty silent watching P. Rool fight too. Like hes just… sucking the hope out of me." Jay: "Personally I'm feeling pretty good, i gotta be honest." Comona: "be happy if you want i wont judge-" ryan: "i will." Comona: "-but its not gonna stop me from voicing my opinion." Jay: "is now a bad time to share he offered me a cut of his winnings if he takes this?" Ryan: "not very pog." Jay: "dimensional plane tickets are EXPENSIVE." 

P. Rool takes another match. Comona, bitter: "hes just too GOOD. at the GAME." Twist requests a port switch, forfeiting a stagepick in exchange, which prool accepts. The next match goes stock for stock until twist takes it, to Ryan's vicious glee. Comona and Ryan pop off excitedly about port priority. Jay: "I dont think thats real, ryan, i gotta be honest-" Ryan, turning into the fucking green goblin: "WELL, IF YOURE SO CONFIDENT, THEN LETS SEE WHAT HAPPENS WHEN WE KEEP TWIST ON PORT ONE, SHALL WE?" Jay: "okay!" Ryan has fully unhinged. 

P. Rool wins. Ryans hit despair. P. Rool calls Jay. Ryan: "kick him off the call. kick him off the call." P. Rool says hes not giving him his money. Ryan: "oh, so youre on OUR side now, now you UNDERSTAND,"

P. Rool championship match. P. Rool vs Valentine. Ryan: "ive said it before ill say it again. This fucker is never going to be champion. Never. as long as I live. So we'll see what we do if he wins this." Comona: "as much as i dont like p. rool he does have spice." Ryan: "yeah he is spicy I just hate him." Jay: "cant believe hes not giving me my money." Ryan: "i can, have you met him?Jay: "its just, i had faith- its not like you guys knew him first!" Ryan: "true."

Jay: "we might need to start a go fundme to send me back to my own timeline." Comona: "the hell does a big fat asshole crocodile need with money anyway?" Jay: "good question." Ryan: "fishing?" Comona: "i was gonna say influencing government but that works." Anyway rip valentine time for another p. rool beatdown. Someone in chat special requests a match with sephiroth. Jay: "lets see who wins- the main villain or sephiroth." Prool decimates him. Ryan decides to take his rage out and beat the hell out of plum himself via Iggy. Ryan: "this isnt for the audience. this is for me." Plum still takes first stock against a human player. It still goes to last stocks. Iggy does win tho.

Twist vs. Valentine bc fuck P. rool. Ryan: "got a lot of haters in the chat mad that I wont acknowledge P. Rools win. But you forget, the 3rd rule of cpu kerfuffle: Fuck P. Rool. Dont blame me, I dont make the rules- well i do but-" Comona: "yeah, Iggy does." Ryan: "right! Take it up with Iggy. Or dont, cuz he'll kill you-" Jay: "i dont know how Jacob, who's just such a good kid, ended up on a team with p. rool." Ryan: "im sure theres some lore reason."

Valentine keeps a commanding hold on his championship, although twist put up a damn good fight. The commentators say, once again, that P. Rool will be returning for the next tournament. Comona: "we are an equal opportunity tournament, that doesn't turn away proven challengers." 

Cpuk14 time! Representing Team Calibur, the team not for becoming the best, but for knowing you already are the best- Doctor order. Right out the gate. 'Ever wonder where all these lab experiments gone wrong and super fighting robots come from? Doctor Order knows, not that she'd tell you. mad scientist/personal trainer who seeks to create the ultimate fighter. Joined team calibur over, say, team cones, as she seeks to reign in chaos, a lofty goal in the face of what cpu kerfuffle is. What's driven her out of the lab and into the spotlight remains to be seen.'

Neither Comona or Jay have seen her in action, not even in jays dimension, although Jay says hes aware of an alternate universe version of her named pablo that's just a totally normal guy. Jay, sounding uncomfortable: "Dont ask me how I know theyre connected." Ryan: "is it the vibes?" Jay: "its the vibes."

Bing! Bing's original submission information says hes a personification of the web service bing and decided to take up fighting because he was tired of being overshadowed by the popularity of Google. Interesting given that Google the person did not yet exist, but future tournaments do in fact insist he's got his complex about that Google. 'also, due to being a search engine, hes very knowledgeable.' LOL. LMAO EVEN. Ryan has high hopes for his results in the tournament. He places 5th.

Returning from CPUK1 for the first time, Dark Jimbo! A hypebeast turned emo. Hes not quite as edgy anymore (thank his therapist) but hes gotten attached to the aesthetic and music and such. Apparently discovered an emerald mine beneath the house and the money from that is whats funding his access to the expense of recurring hair dye and band merch nowadays. Comona expresses that in what hes seen of Jimbo, despite the aggressive, dark exterior, as a fighter he is sort of timid, which might cause him some trouble. But hes been training with his dad, and you cant count him out.

Team Cones! Larry the Florida Man <3. Ryan explains Larry's previous appearances under separate show names, and describes Larry's powers as something that 'awoke' in him. Of course, this is before the Dr. O connection was made, but its fun wording nonetheless. Jay: "as you know, im a very cut and dry commentator." Ryan: "uh huh." Jay: "No jokes. So of course Larry is right up my alley as the most consistent fighter in the tournament." Jay clarifies Larry ironically is pretty consistent in a way, jokes aside, he can perform fairly well in all his shapes. He openly wonders if Larry's ability to perform as well as he does with all his forms is a trained skill, or if it's all instinct. Ryan suggests they'll get Jenny to look into getting an interview about it.

Team Cross. Engineer TF2. They solve practical problems. The commentators proceed to start referencing TF2. I dont know anything about tf2. Jay says he and engie trained under the same fighting master- Superb Mario. Unclear if this is the same character as Mario From Super Mario.

Team Charm, team of all thats good and kind and gay, representative Therapuppy! Chat member: "Thats A Dog!" The blurb for her says, paraphrasing, 'with the introduction of Sephiroth to smash, therapuppy went ahead and signed up for cpu kerfuffle, because god damn Cloud and Samus really are in The Same Game as Sephiroth and Ridley, huh? Damn, kinda fucked up.' funny. funny that sephiroth is directly one of the reasons theras here. Thera's just here to check in on everybody's mental wellbeing and have a good time.

Team Chonk. P. Rool. Jay: "man, fuck this guy. me and p. rool, we're from the same neck of the woods, we're from the next dimension over, and i couldn't make it to a kerfuffle one time so he took my ticket, and he came over here and he started throwing hands and now we can't get him to Leave." Hes jay's ride home so hes been stranded here for 2 weeks and Ryan's been pulling strings to keep him out of the champion's suite and hes heard that P. Rool's getting Very Mad about that. Ryan: "but- fuck it. Its my tournament- its iggy's tournament. Iggy made me do it."

Team Cracken! Whip. Yeehaw. She's a cowgirl bayyyybe. Whip's sea creature accessory is an Electric Eel Whip. Neigh Neigh the horse has never appeared but they live in our hearts. Whip is canonically 'a cringe ass neigh neigh baby.' Vital lore information.

Exhibition match: Squid Jenny vs Chili's! Jenny and Jimbo have the same problem of being good at wracking up damage but struggling to close kills. Jenny is more of a recon specialist than a frontline fighter. Jenny supports all other contestants and is well known and well loved as an upstanding young member of the kerfuffle community. They shake hands and the commentators give their predictions for the tournament, by which i mean, guesses about who has the best chance of making p. rool bleed. Comona and Jay want to see Engie pull it off, Ryan thinks Bing can do it.

Round one, Jimbo vs Engie. Comona: "now, if this were two human players, Id say, now lets buckle in for a 24 minute set," absolutely zero faith in jimbo from jay and comona. The phrase 'not to play crimson's advocate' is used,

Jimbos first match against Engie is so embarrassing that engie throws the poor kid a southern hospitality pity stock next round. A slip of tongue results in the suggestion that engie tf2 is nonbinary. Jay: "i really dont know 'im that well, could be!" Engie: "y'dont need a gender t'solve PRACTICAL problems."

Jimbo manages to do better that next round, on the starfox stage that isnt the plane that i forget the name of, because engie couldn't pick up momentum after that thrown away stock and Jimbo took it and ran with it. Comona: "Jimbo was looking real comfortable up there in the vacuum of space, where I assume he was born…?" Ryan: "hes dadondorf's son, and who knows where dadondorf came from." Everything about dadondorf's background except his immediate familial relationships is an absolute mystery and I think thats delightful. it creates so many questions that will not be answered. He adopted a (Apparently Potentially Alien in Origin.) orphan hedgehog as a son after his birth parents' passing. He married a meat dragon. Jimbo's granddad is a fucking BOAT

Round 3 commences on Mementos. Jimbo's a gamer, but as a persona fan hes never actually played a persona game before, so he might be at a disadvantage. Jimbo has a bit of a panic attack during the set after losing first stock and loses his second with an SD. Jimbo manages to avoid a 3-stock and gets close to taking it to last stock, but no dice. To losers bracket with the poor emo kid.

Larry vs. Whip. Pre-match predictions for larry matches are pointless. donations from real life chat members serve the in-universe/in-character purpose of helping to pay for the high upkeep costs of the stadium and facilities with all these explosive, destructive matches going on here, which is kinda funny. Never seen a tournament arc where they mention the tournaments gotta crowdfund a budget for repairing the stage when someone hits someone else into the floor so hard they leave an anime crater because of how often it happens

Larry pulls out bubblegum banjo on wuhu island. Larry's in whips head, hes in the commentators heads, hes in the AUDIENCE'S heads. nobody knows wtf is goin on but its entertaining and he's winning. Whip is having fun and playing on the ledges. It is not doing her any good. Comona: "yknow, if Larry just had a main he might be one of the best players in kerfuffle history." Ryan: "bold of you to assume his adhd will allow him to focus on having a main." Comona: "thats what im Saying, like, if he Could, but that's just not how life is balanced." Jay: "the way i see it, Larry is so good BECAUSE he doesnt have a main. Hes got that GENERAL knowledge." Comona: "got those fundies down." Ryan: "mhm, a new character could come out today and he could probably beat you with 'em." Larry <3

They discuss how it must be rough for Whip as a newbie to get matched against Larry round one, the unpredictability probably rattling her a bit. Ryan: "I mean, it all depends on what Larry ends up rolling, if Larry rolls something she can deal with then Whip could do well, y'know?" Jay: "a good point." Comona: "mhm. An interesting thing, to not be in control of your own fate." Ryan: "That's why Larry thrives."

Larry rolls Peach, they suggest Whip's experience with her team leader Hoedown might help her some as far as familiarity with the fighting style goes. Larry gets a stitch very early and doesn't even bother to use it just to fuck with Whip. Just to flex. Despite Whip's strong damage lead, Larry takes first stock. Things go down to even on last stock, and whip manages to take one game. They make a game of trying to guess what character larry will be and they're all wrong he's blue dark pit and he decimates whip on warioware

Bing vs. P. Rool. Cue the booing. Bing you're not winning this one. Comona says Bing has been overshadowed by the Green Roy, Google, (before he's even been born,) and is out here to show his stuff as a perfectly respectable player in his own right. Bing has an inferiority complex over a guy that straight up doesn't exist yet. like a kid sibling getting jealous of the new baby getting all the attention before it's even born. Jay: "I have my… feelings, about P. Rool, obviously, but objectively, with my experiences with real life combat because this is all happening in real life, Bing has a sword, but P. Rool has projectiles he has no way to counter. It's coming down to P. Rool on this one." P. Rool has a strong damage lead and Bing Chromicides him about it. Then P. Rool stops him from recovering the next time theyre offstage for an instant. And then destroys his last stock with all the swift ease of swatting a fly. Ryan, terrified: "I THINK P. ROOL'S MAD, GUYS. I THINK HE'S OUT FOR BLOOD?" Jay, similarly shaken: "ive never seen him do that before." Comona: "this has gotten very personal."  Ryan: "im worried for MY safety! Round 2 I guess!"

Bing takes it to Dracula's castle because he saw P. Rool lose to twist here. P. Rool takes first stock so quickly but Bing isnt going down without a fight and manages to take the next game in another very fast match. Bing takes P. Rool's first stock (and his own) in Yet Another Chromicide, truly his signature strategy when fighting a tough opponent is and has always been Youre Coming Down With Me, Fucker, because he struggles to be confident in his ability to win without also completely wrecking his own shit in the process. P. Rool takes game 3 and sends Bing to losers. Bing says he'll see P. Rool again next time, Jay mistakes it for sportsmanship before Ryan clarifies that no he's shittalking like hes gonna decimate that lizard the next time they fight. Truly Bing is this interesting blend of stupid, deeply insecure, and yet profoundly overconfident, all of which compound into a man who is straight up going to get himself killed in the stupidest most unnecessary possible way just trying to prove something noone was honestly asking him to someday

Dr. Order. vs Therapuppy <3 a scientist who's been creating artificial life in pursuit of creating the ultimate fighter aaaaaaand. A therapist. 'That she might probably need.' lol. First round is on midgar, Comona: "which is probably where Dr. Order resides. Big City where people won't uh. Question your experiments." As Therapuppy wracks up almost 90 damage without order landing a single hit, the Commentators guess that Dr. Order is having a hard time mentally psyching herself up to hit a puppy. Jay: "i feel very strongly that Dr. Order is evil, but not cruel." Oh how time will mark you as naive. Therapuppy steals Order's ball with her fishing rod twice and yeets her for the final stock. 

Before round 2, Jay describes Dr. O as someone who has a knowledge of psychology, but like None of the people skills necessary to apply it usefully, unlike Therapuppy whose training in not only that but as a therapist and counselor give her a very particular dominance in the realm of mind games that leaves her with an inherent advantage in this matchup because Dr. Order thinks she knows more than she actually does. Comona references Short Skirt/Long Jacket by Cake in reference to thera. 'I want a therapist with a funny dogy and long, looooong fishing rod.'

the Doctor is nooooot the best as a fighter in terms of skill, but she is described by Comona as a hard hitter and her experience as a personal trainer (and coach, of her creations,) is touted as evidence she knows what it takes to create success and build strength, which. As we see later proves mostly only technically true to any extent of machi and quad, really. Despite this, order does manage to eek out a game two win against thera utilizing deep breathing. Jay: "i think Deep Breathing is some kind of experimental proprietary invention of Dr. Orders because lemme tell ya. I breathe and that doesn't happen." Ryan: "yeah but is your breathing deep." Jay: "gimme a sec lemme try that." Jay leaves. Comona and ryan giggle to themselves about him punching a hole in the wall as gamers are wont to do. Jay, returning: "MILLIONS ARE DEAD." 

Round three goes stock for stock, therapuppy managing some excellent mind games and strategy. Therapuppy's happy to have (hopefully) helped the doctor and with the doctor's 'regular stoic vibe' shes like. "Interesting. I'll have to remember this." And goes to losers. Every cpuk villain starts off as vaguely stoic or otherwise emotionally restrained in some fashion and then just Unhinge at some point

Dark Jimbo vs. Whip Losers round one. Comona accurately predicts its going to be a looooong one, especially so with CPUs. this sets' record for The Longest Match in CPUK History's never been dethroned, and thats probably because it nearly singlehandedly drove the decision to add a timer. Especially funny remembering his dad hamhel fought the shortest, the legendary match from 20 with val that could fit, in its entirety, in one twitch clip. Jay: "dark jimbo has like… powers of darkness, right? Not like evil darkness powers, but like-" Ryan: "I mean, i thought it was just aesthetic, but he could, I mean we've seen stranger." This set runs so long it makes jimbo reconsider his approach to both combat and life itself and in his second match starts putting effort into closing out kills much more. Whip continues to play the patient waiting game and it doesn't pay off. First 2-0 of the night.

Bing vs. Dr. Order. Hell on earth. A point is made of how dr. Order's patient methodical combat mindset just doesnt work for someone who gets up in your face and stays there before you can think like bing does. Round one is on castle siege, which they joke about being microsoft headquarters. Bill Gates lives in a Fucking Castle. Bing keeps the lead for most of the match but Order brings it to last stock with a Fancy set of maneuvers. Heartbreaking: the worst person you know just got away with a sick move. Ryan: "this one isnt open and shut- Bing's an explosive player but eventually that's gonna blow up in his face." Bing takes it.

Ryan: "I think, Dr Order, like whip, thrives with very patient play, but thats not gonna work against bing, who is All About getting up in your face." The commentators agree- Dr. Order needs to adjust her strategy to be more aggressive. She does not do this. Bing also does not change his strats. Comona: "say what you will about Bing- he gets results." Jay: "just maybe not as many as google." lol

After losing, Dr Order pulls out a notebook to start writing something down as she leaves. Ryan: "thats not… something we should be worried about, should we…?" Jay: "this is fine."

Chat asked about them. Gen4's chilling. Is a platinum speedrunner (which is an oxymoron) now

Engie TF2 vs Larrold. Once again no point to predicting the outcome of larry matches, only measuring his opponents' adaptability. Larry rolls luigi and ryan and comona interpret this as Larry making fun of engie for being short. Ryan: "it doesnt feel like Engie is learning, if anything Larry's learning." Comona: "if larry's learning then this whole bracket is over." Ryan: "yeah, larry's a fucking learning computer." Jay: "do we have word from Squid Jenny if Larry can control who he gets?" Ryan: "sometimes. Only sometimes." Larry rolls mega'd man next and does 70 damage before engie can land even one hit, and survives on first stock to 200%. Engie alllllllllmost brings it back but larry still fucking gets him.

Comona: "Larry's really shining now- its good to see this kind of glowup from larry. hes always had some potential but honestly- its kind of- touching, Larry has embraced the chaos inside of himself and isnt hiding anymore, hes not afraid of it anymore and hes just here like 'This is who i am.'" shrimp emotions about this one

P. Rool vs. Therapuppy. Jay just got a phone call. Ryan and comona discuss. From the standpoint of the competition, comonas still pretty sure this is p. rools game, but that he's going to learn more from it than any other match he's ever fought in. Ryan thinks thera might take a game at least. Thera takes first stock despite p. rool's damage lead, and prool takes it to even, but thera makes shockingly short work of p. rool. Comona: "who knew that what p. rool really needed was Fucking Therapy?"

Jay gets a call from a friend in his dimension, and. His P. Rool is still there. He got a snapchat from him hes at quizno's with jacob. Thera starts the second match before the commentators can process this. Who the fuck is this guy because hes Not P. Rool. Jay: "think about it- how many times have i said he wasn't like this in my world?" Comona: "an IMPOSTER? AMONG US?"

P. Rool just has no counter strat for the fishing rod. Therapuppy 2-0s P. Rool, to the astonishment of the commentators. Jay explains after talking more with his P. Rool, that hes never come to this dimension even once for a kerfuffle. It's been this mystery guy the WHOLE time, in a case of identity theft. Chat ponders potential crimson involvement but ryan shoots this down as unlikely and sends Squid Jenny to ask the guy some questions. P. Rool grabs her, changing color with white-hot-rage and promptly starting a battle. This is E. Rool. Enraged K. Rool. 

Ryan: "the therapy didnt Work, hes just Mad as Fuck now!" Comona: "he's resentful about how he's been treated- Which- which i guess is fair, but don't resort to violence against the TO! You're gonna get banned!" Ryan: "way he sees it, we clearly don't give a shit about the rules, why should he?" Comona: "which i mean… he… but we run the event, right…?" Ryan: "i mean yeah, we run the event, but that's just what he's saying." Jay: "realistically I see where he's coming from but identity theft and…" Comona: "but violence is never the answer. Harming your fellow man is…" Ryan: "your fellow squid, even." Comona: "your fellow squid or kid even." They are saying this about bloodsport. They are saying violence is never the answer about bloodsport. Comona expresses hope that this will help E. Rool get the frustration out of his system so he can calm down. Small voice. Small baby bird. and commends jenny for sticking out the fight in the meantime. They describe E. Rool's eyes as glazed over in a blind rage, like he's just absolutely gone, beyond reason. Home MD retrieves Jenny, she's in good condition, just in need of some medical attention. Ryan makes a joke about donating to help pay for jenny's medical bills and then has to clarify for chat that yes you do in fact get medical insurance working for iggy dont worry

E. Rool vs. Jimbo. They do not have high hopes. Jimbo does better than expected with a big target on the small bright stage of prism tower, he keeps it sorta even. E. Rool is playing cruel and cheap, fueled by the rage of both being cheated time and time again, and of being exposed as a fraud. He's so angry that he's just letting himself get hit. In the second round they get a darker stage, and Jimbo's doing better, getting hits in. Comona: "hes like batman, he thrives in the darkness." Ryan: "he is just like batman, in fact i think the fact that you just said that gave him power." He loves batman. One of his idols, jay says. So excited about the comparison. Imagining jimbo in a little batman costume for halloween. adorable. Anyway he footstooled E. Rool about it. Truly jimbo's performance in combat is directly tied to his current self-esteem. Jimbo brings it to last stock but doesn't win. The commentators get scared hes gonna SD again but Jimbo says 'nah those days are behind me now that im BATMAN' and then immediately gets launched into the blast zone. E. Rool: "im da joker, baby."

Bing vs. Engie tf2. Theyre pretty confident in Bing. Jay: "in comparison to bing, engie over heres looking like yahoo." Chat: "bing gonna make engie look like jeeves." Bing gets runover by a boat twice. Bing hates water. Greatest weakness. future lore making this Bing also getting killed instantly by space hornets. The commentators call game one a very overconfident homie game. Engie keeps schmoving around him but Bing manages to take it to last stock, but Engie ultimately 2-0s. Bing tells engie to take care of the big man for him.

Winners Finals. Larry vs Therapuppy. The winners finals noone expected but everyone wanted. The populist's choice. Comona thinks this will be a tough one for therapuppy, because larry is already Very comfortable with who he is, even if, for the good of Society that might be best changed. Hes comfy with the chaos. Therapuppy's goal is making people happy and better and Larry's already got himself figured out. Jay thinks this is still in therapuppy's corner because nobody knows what to do with the fishing rod and he doesnt think larry's an exception. Larry lies to a therapist about being illiterate on international television, potentially to avoid confronting his trauma on the same internationally televised scale. <3 florida schools dont teach you to read but they do teach you to handle gators. Therapuppy presses, trying to get to the root of why not being able to read makes him so insecure, and Larry's probably just doing everything in his power not to laugh. Round 1 goes to thera.

Larry rolls lonk from pennsylvania for round 2 on skyloft, or rather, either lenk from north carolina or lunk from ohio. Take your pick the commentators can't decide, but one way or another he's 'betraying even his origins,' even as the commentators also decide skyloft overlooks florida. Larry gets real silly with this one, takes it to last stock, but Therapuppy 2-0s, sending Larry to losers.

E. Rool vs. Engie tf2. Jay thinks hes too angry right now to fight smart, so engie Might take it. Chat asks if E. Rool is a free agent, and the commentators say they dont know, they dont know much about E. Rool except that hes mad as hell, strong as hell and a Liar. Jay speculates that Team Chonk might consider kicking him out with these new developments. Engie struggles to close a kill without the help of the stage, and no hat is hard enough to stop E. Rool from crushing his skull. The second round is only more painful. Engie manages one funny stock before E. Rool kills him dead.

Losers finals. Larry vs. E. Rool. Utmost excitement from the commentators. Larry pulls out sans hoodie ice climbers to megalovania. They go stock for stock down to the wire and Larry takes it and its legendary i dont need to give the play by play its all match commentary because its So Much that theres just nothing else to talk about. E. Rool: "how did i lose???" Larry, turning back to original form: "heh. maybe its the way you're dressed."

Round 2. Larry rolls Venus skin palu (before venus even exists.) This does not go as well as the ice climbers as far as weird picks goes, E. Rool leads the whole round. Ryan gets mad at Larry doing less well this round and has to remind himself not to expect anything of him and just enjoy the ride. He's not great at Palu, so E. Rool takes it, but Larry started taking it back more toward the end than expected. Lategame matches before voice acting became a bigger part of the format tend to have a lot less lore in them because the commentators are too tense about the actual matches themselves.

Round 3, Larry rolls kirby, its very even, E. Rool bled in his fight with Machi. Its apparent, though, that Larry's more interested in this being a good show than winning, and brings it to last stock even damage, but Larry finally gets yeeted. Commentators express certainty that in terms of raw skill, these two are equals, and Larry lost because the unpredictable factors of his condition simply didnt quite roll in his favor today.

E. Rool vs. Therapuppy. True finals. Therapuppy takes first stock after only moments of doubt from ryan, maintains a lead on at least damage the rest of the first match. Fishing rod inescapable. E. Rool's getting Scared of it, but E. Rool manages to take first round only because he survives to 200% and thera is much more launchable than him. Thera doesnt mind losing- she takes it in stride and goes into their second round with a smile. Round 2, thera makes it to 200% before losing first stock, E. Rool leads this match, until thera spikes him for his second stock. They end up even almost blow for blow on last stock until thera finally smashes him into the blast zone to take it. Round 3, norfair florida. Thera's just having a good time. E. Rool's so mad hes not thinking and its making it difficult for him to learn and adapt to Thera's plays, so thera sticks with the tried and true tactics and things keep fairly even, up until the end. E. Rool bracket resets.

Everyone takes a nice break, things have been way, way too tense in a scary sort of way, but E. Rool seems to calm down, and he and Therapuppy are seen having a talk, (Apparently one reason in-universe there were less visible voiceacted scenes at this point was just not having the sound equipment for it,) and since Jenny's down right now Home fills in for her to check up on things- and E. Rool almost attacks him, but Thera talks him down. The commentators reevaluate- is he really that bad of a guy? Like, he's been playing the heel, but realistically, the only reason he's gotten so angry and unmanageable is because HE'S following the rules and no one else is, and until things hit this boiling point he hadn't really even put up that much of a stink about it, beyond a little complaining. Home MD comes back with a report: his real name. Plum K. Rool. Thats always been his name- there was just a bit of a… mixup, because he shortens it to P. Rool too, and he kinda… ran with it. Played it like a character. A lie he didn't even intend to be telling at first just got too big. 

Thera and Plum run into the reset in good spirits. Plum's doing better taking a step back and just enjoying the ride. Still sucks that he took out his anger on Jenny- and hes not feeling too good about it either- the tournament will surely be followed by apologies, or maybe he'll continue to be a heel about it, but either way the commentators are fine with that- its just good to see the competitors remember that in the end it's just a game, and it's supposed to be fun. A good time. The commentators discuss how dangerous E. Rool clearly was during his blind rage- and how Thera couldve easily gotten seriously hurt if she hadnt been careful. Things go to last stock, even% on round one of the reset, and thera almost takes it but fails to recover. Second round is on mario maker, P. Rool's favorite stage. Cute. Thera takes it, sending it to game 3 of reset on dreamland, final round. The whole sets been electric, down to last stocks of last sets with short leads, P. Rool fearing and respecting Thera's power but ultimately juuuuust clinching a win.

Therapuppy: "Congratulations P. Rool! Im happy for you!" Plum: "b. I. H. i thought. You didnt. You didnt want me to win?" Thera: " course not. You're my friend! Course im happy that you won, why wouldnt i be?" Plum: "yknow what? thanks therapuppy. Thanks." And they have a nice hug.

Ryan claims that if P. Rool actually wins he'll actually let him win this time. Plum K. Rool vs. Captain Valen- hold up. Squid Jenny, who is fine now, getting a report from the field. Val and Plum are talking, and asked Val who his best friend is, and hes got no idea who to say except johannsen. Not sure if he was just caught off guard by the odd question and picked the rat as the first friend that came to mind or if hes genuinely made better friends with the rat in the past month or so than he is with gordo's revenge, visible man or rights sentience but the former feels more likely. Either way Plum wants to make the champion bout a team doubles match to celebrate his victory with the only person who's really rooted for him. Thera says she would've done the same. Val and jojo have pretty good team synergy. It goes down to thera vs. val on last stock and val takes it, remaining champion. Comona: "where valentine goes, johannsen follows." Ryan: "yeah, ever since dantoinette kind of- yknow."

And so dusks the P.rool arc and the dawn of Spoiler alert! doctor order being the Worst rises.

[yzafre]

while having a breakdown while trying to sleep last night over a point I forgot for my fic, I came around to a very interesting question:

What is up with Aqua's Keyblade situation?

Right, okay, that probably requires some explanation to makes sense. We'll wrap back around to her later, there's some points we need to establish first:

One, dual wielding. Roxas' dual wielding, as the notable instance, is due to a dual-heart/ connection situation(excepting kh3? Maybe?? Idk what's going on at that point), whichever heart you particularly want to think it is(I take word of God as like... A helpful recommendation, to be ignored at my will. If it's not in the game it's not canon to me, sorry).

Even Sora's drive forms are tied to absorbing his party members, though. The other method is someone just... handing off their keyblade to you, like in the kh2 Xemnas boss battle.

Two, what I might call... abandoned Keyblades? Like in the graveyard and with Master's Defender. Seems to be a thing that happens upon death? But maybe not always? Confusing.

Anyways, specifically when Sora picks it up in kh3, it seems to work as just another form for his Keyblade, like using a keychain. His one Keyblade changes into it then back when showing Riku in the realm of darkness.

SO

All that being said. Aqua at the end of birth by sleep.

She passes Rainfell/Stormfall/her keyblade off to Terra before yeeting him out of the darkness for... unknown reasons? Was it needed to keep the armor in-tact, or something? In any case, it goes to the realm of light to become part of the pile of metal Xemnas creeps on.

Then, in the realm of darkness scene after, she is seen using Master's Defender. (I think she also uses this in 0.2, but it's been a while since I've looked at that game)

My question is ...how?

By established rules, summoning your Keyblade should get rid of previously existing instances - like that one dnd spell/ability, whatever it was. You can't just summon all the different versions of the keyblade you've acquired at once. You've got one keyblade, and you chose which keychain to use on it.

But Rainfell is still up there, for the aforementioned Xemnas creeping, while Aqua is actively using Master's Defender.

So. That leaves us with one of two conclusions:

Summoning Master's Defender and summoning her usual keyblade are two separate things, and she could have dual-wielded them if she wanted to. This conclusion would maybe hold water, given picking up a dead person's keyblade is obviously very different, except we've already established that Sora cycles to that form just like he can change out any of his other Keyblade's. It doesn't actually work differently. Add on that dual-wielding is tied to some sort of doubled-heart connection, and it becomes even more unlikely. You could perhaps argue that she's connecting to Eraqus's ghost, but... eh. With all the holes you can poke in this option, that leaves a completely different, very interesting theory:

It is possible to sever off your connection to a specific keyblade, letting it exist outside your influence and preventing you from summoning it. Whether this is a simple fact of Aqua being in the realm of darkness and the key being in the realm of light, or a more conscious decision, I don't know, but it's interesting to think about.

[guilty-pleasures-and-dead-doves]

[Free Wolf, She-Wolf] Chapter 9

Chapters post

Chapter 8: The running of the bull

[Chapter 9] Step into my parlour...

The Emperor quirked an eyebrow at the sight of Bison. "You look beat. Trouble on the road?" As though he hadn't been listening to Exusiai's and Croissant's group call.

The young man set his shield down by the side of the couch opposite to the Emperor's seat, then sat down heavily on that couch with a sigh. "More than my usual in Lungmen, but less than your usual." He gladly took the small towel and water bottle offered by Yith. "Thank you."

Yith stepped out of the room as Bison wiped down his face and started rehydrating. Bison took a look around the room as he capped the bottle. "Mister Yith said Texas and Sora would be here?"

"Oh?" the Emperor teased. "Were you always so eager to see my girls? If they're gonna steal your breath away, maybe wait and catch it first."

Bison laughed a little. "Mister Emperor, if you're going to pull my leg, please wait until either of them stop shaking."

"Oh! Oh-ho!" The Emperor slapped his knee. "The boy bites back! You're growing up, punk. Pretty soon, you'll need to be beating the ladies off with a stick."

Bison tried to shrink into his jacket. "Or outrun them on a bicycle."

The Emperor leaned back. "Is that what happened on your way here? Do tell."

Bison relaxed just enough to fake a casual shrug. "Nothing much to talk about. Someone didn't want me to be here, so they shot out my car's tires, then left. But someone must have been keeping watch, and when they saw I was still on my way here, they sent the cars back around."

"And this had something to do with girls?"

Bison shrank back in on himself and avoided eye contact. "My Butler thinks they were working for that one family."

The Emperor snorted derisively. "The one that tried sellin' your old man on an arranged marriage at your last birthday party? As though you hadn't already declared your independence with MCT?"

"The ones you walked into and spilled wine on, yes. Thanks for the interruption."

"My pleasure. They had no class. Also, clearly no brains, but we knew that before today's absolutely shit amateur hour."

Bison winced. "That's an insult to amateurs, sir. Amateurs are hobbyists doing what they love. This was just a bunch of fools stumbling around in a panic."

The Emperor nodded, "True, true. I cain't be disrespectin' love of the craft." 

Internally, the beast-lord patted himself on the back and laughed at twice making a fool out of one potential rival in this new little game, without any real effort. Externally, he lazily waved a flipper. "Anyway, slow down. 'Take off your jacket and stay a while', as they say in Columbia."

Bison gladly complied, pulling his jacket off and half-tossing it over his shoulder to drape over the back of the couch.

Without that additional bit of bulk, and with sweat binding his shirt so closely to his skin, Bison looked that much thinner. Not for much longer, the Emperor knew, and the boy's arms and chest already had definition.

That family had at least done the Emperor two favors today. First of all, the sweat Bison had worked up would come in handy a little later. Second of all, their little clown show gave him a plausible motive to dig for information.

If the Emperor had to admit to his plan's greatest weakness, it would be a lack of intelligence.

Ideally, Penguin Logistics would have already conducted some kind of investigation into Bison's thoughts on marriage, his tastes in women, his opinions about Texas and Sora specifically, or if he actually already had someone else in mind. Sadly, all of his girls had wasted the two last two years' worth of opportunities to do any of that subtly.

Quickly probing now would require more overt moves. Any more thoughtful rivals who had yet to make a move would go from suspecting Penguin Logistic as a threat to knowing them as a threat. And they would employ more insidious, effective tactics than the farce today.

As a rule, the Emperor didn't 'throw his hat into the ring' to forewarn of his intention to fight. He stepped wholly into the ring, and left the competition scrambling to react. Win the match before it started.

But that didn't mean he never scoped out the opponent before stepping over the point of No Return. Especially when his girls were involved.

Thus, the Emperor affected a pose of contemplation, putting the tips of his flippers together and tapping them on the tip of his beak. "Actually, you mind if I ask a personal question?"

Bison gave him an unsure look. "What is it, sir?"

"Why'd you run away from that particular 'offer'?" He took advantage of Bison’s surprise to put him further off-balance. "Was it the family, the daughter, or you got your eye on someone else already?"

"No!" Bison exclaimed. "I mean, I'm definitely not keen on the family, and I didn't care for their daughter at the party, but I'm not seeing anyone else."

The boy had more to learn about maintaining his composure and keeping his cards closer to his chest, even with a trusted partner hitting him from an unexpected angle. But for now, the Emperor shamelessly took advantage of his inexperience. "You plan on being too busy with MountainComm Trade to consider your options, or is it just that no one has caught your interest?"

Bison mumbled a bit and fiddled with the cap of his water bottle.

The Emperor quirked an eyebrow. "Wait. Don't tell me. You think you still need to prove yourself worthy?"

Bison popped the cap off and chugged the rest of his water.

That was all the Emperor needed to know. He reclined back in his seat. "Speaking of girls, Yith was right. Texas and Sora will be joinin' us for this talk. Actually, the opportunity I wanted to talk to you about is their own personal venture."

Bison paused in his drinking, but the Emperor gestured for him to keep going.

"I'll let Texas fill you in on the details later, but suffice to say that she's wanted to get started on this venture for so long that she'd forgotten about it. Some obligations in Siracusa stood in her way, but she's free of those now. Then you were the first option she floated to Sora for a partner, and Sora agreed you were the best choice."

Bison set his empty bottle on the coffee table, looking flattered, but confused. "A joint venture with Sora? Has Texas wanted to be an idol all this time?"

The Emperor broke into a laughing fit, slapping the coffee table. The noise he made completely drowned out the sound of Sora's own, slightly-more-restrained laughter, which was already muffled by the door from which she and Texas eavesdropped.

Bison blushed, embarrassed. Of course Texas wouldn't need his help to become an idol. If that was her goal, she would simply go straight to Monster Siren Records.

Still laughing, the Emperor assured him, "Well! From a certain point of view, you're actually not as far off-base as you might think! But she's looking at a much, much smaller clientele than that."

"How small?"

"One," the Emperor said lightly. Matter-of-factly. No big deal.

"One what?" One city, one venue, one performance?

"One husband."

"Husband? Why does she want to perform for somebody's husband?"

"Because he would be her husband."

"She's married?!"

"Nope; she's tryin' to get married."

"To who?!"

The Emperor's beak somehow approximated a shit-eating grin. "You."

"M-... wha... ", Bison stuttered. He blankly faced the Emperor's satisfied smile.

The Emperor casually scratched an itch on his chest. "Yeah, Texas and Sora both decided that they want to marry you." You know; no big deal.

Silent stillness. The Emperor checked a watch he wasn't wearing.

Bison blinked, frowned a little. Gave a small, strained smile. Then he began to relax, and chuckle a little.

The Emperor also chuckled a little. Together, they worked their way up to full, knee-slapping laughter.

"You got me again, sir!" His Butler had been right; just another one of the Emperor's pranks. But as Bison hoped, the silliness did help him feel more relaxed.

"I know, right? The look on your face!"

Bison grasped and waggled both of his knees. "At least you did wait for my legs to stop shaking this time!"

"I sure did!"

"You really had me going, too! You got me so confused, for a moment I actually believed you." Not enough true belief for the sting of disappointment to outweigh the humor of the situation. Especially given the relief that he couldn't fail to meet expectations no one actually had of him.

"Oh, but that's not the funniest part of the joke!"

Smiling, clueless, Bison asked, "What's that?"

"That I ain't actually joking! Come on in, ladies!"

====

Chapter 10: Spellbound...

[pxison]

Birthday!!! @torn-butterfly-wings asked: Perhaps the day would go unnoticed. She was sure her efforts would. Not having seen or gotten to know them for over a decade made this moment difficult. It filled Sora with a hollowing sadness. It was a horrible sensation that she forced herself to shove aside. Taking a breath and a bit of exertion, she raised from her chair. Taking careful steps, she walked over to her sons and gave each of them a kiss to the forehead starting with Ichiji and ending with Yonji. Despite doubting that they would mean a thing to her cold children, she placed a small present into each of their hands. Just a little box sitting on each of their palms. Inside each was a necklace with a picture pendant. Each was different. A photo from childhood of Sora hugging each individual son. "Happy birthday, my precious ones."

Despite their mother being practically a stranger to them, each prince takes their kiss and gift with as much grace as their emotionally void selves could. Yonji even went out of his way to bend a little so that Sora could reach her intended spot to plant her lips.

Their birthdays were typically grand affairs attended solely by the servants and soldiers around them, their happiness an obligation to the ruling family. But with Sora, their poor weak mother that suffered more than they'd realize, celebrating their birth was a much quieter affair. Seeing as she was the Matriarch and Queen, their respect comes mostly out of a place of hierarchy. Though despite the time apart, they were no doubt a careful sort of soft around their mother as opposed to their father.

The gift while nothing nearly what they expected, was meaningful and felt exactly what Sora would give them. Surrounding her with their presence even as antsy as Niji got paired with the audacity to complain about the gift under his breath, was just about the only thing they could do in response. They were not built to process emotions at all and so could not comprehend the odd stirring in the gut.

Not a lot is said either though when Ichiji, Niji, and Yonji finally bow out of the room, they do so with a nod Sora's way. Their own way of communicating their approval nonverbally. Actual words chasing out the door as they move out of sight of the frame.

"Thanks, Mother."

"You didn't have to give us this... But thanks anyway."

"Bye Mom!"