#anyway shit's hard as fuck to break

[i-can-even-burn-salad]

Hey! 23 and 24 for the chill weekend ask game?

Thank you for the ask! From this ask game.

23. a song that makes you feel powerful

I’m not sure those exist. I guess Orden Ogan - The Things We Believe In rocks. Idk. Metal. At least smacking things against a wall while “Hand of Doom” plays in the background is more fun.

24. how was your day today?

I have not yet killed someone, but that might change. Two people have independently sent me one of the “hug your mutuals through the screen” comic. 

I had 3 hours of sleep, I woke up angry and annoyed, I am still angry and annoyed, and I will go to sleep angry and annoyed. I am now anger baking cookies and if I get questioned on it ONE MORE TIME THOSE COOKIES WON’T BE VEGETARIAN ANYMORE.

Just a wonderful Sunday, you know.

[cerealmonster15]

i want jamiazu + idikei to go on a double date so badly i think the vibes would be So Very Turbulent

[quirkle2]

The tiles are no longer white, and the bathroom looks compressed and scintillated; hotspots of light blare in seething oranges, corners buzz in deep purples, noises manifest in confusing patterns that obscure other patterns. It hurts. The tiles aren’t white anymore. Nothing is quiet. The colors pour in. Shigeo is tired of color.

another scene from rainspeak ! suffered a bit with the colors but i don't ,, Hate this, so up it goes <3

[serpentface]

Hibrides and Brakul having the world’s saddest booze-fueled girl’s night, probably a few months before the start of the story.

Anyway here's an extensive rundown of their shared history.

Hibrides Uryashta was the eldest daughter of a chancellor of the imperial city-state of Erubinnos (his lordship Erub Uryashta). She was brought up with great privilege and security, but (like most daughters of noblemen) was destined to be used as a bargaining chip in a political marriage arrangement. She was taken from her friends and family and moved to the city of Wardin at the age of 16 to complete her pledged marriage with Janeys Haidamane, the failson of the trade magnate Haidamane family. Janeys spent about a week poorly attempting to behave like a husband, and then took the first excuse to flee and engage in a petty military campaign against raiders on the Yellowtail trade route. She found herself left alone in his villa for three years with only hired servants for company. She made a few attempts to break into the city's elite social scene, but was quite shy and failed to make any headway.

Brakul had just spent a year and a half in a bit of a whirlwind. He was brought into a skirmish at the behest of an allied clan, who had been raiding the Yellowtail route and now was under attack by combined forces of an enemy clan and Imperial Wardi mercenaries. He killed one of the mercenary commanders and was captured as a prisoner of war, but was spared at Janeys' behest (who fucking hated that guy thought it was awesome that he got killed with a rock) and was ultimately recruited into the group. He had a chance to go back home, but actively chose to deadbeat dad out on his wife and child to be with his newfound lovequest, Janeys. He spent a year and a half as a mercenary, bonded closely with Janeys and swore brotherhood with him, and was eventually brought home to the city of Wardin with him. He found himself in the odd position of being simultaneously scorned as a foreigner and 'heathen', and the legal kin of one of the richest families in the city (and effectively the secret male concubine of their only male heir).

It was in this context that the two of them met, with Hibrides now being 19 and Brakul turning 27.

The two were initially wary of each other (Hibrides was particularly put off by his 'heathen' status) but bonded very quickly, partly due to their mutual states of being unmoored from their old lives, but in large part being just a natural chemistry. They had a lot of common interests and enjoyed learning from each other. Hibrides introduced him to traditional verse poetry (of which she was very fond). Brakul taught her how to ride khait, and even gave her a gelding from his own collection as a gift. They became very close friends over the next couple of years and spent much of their free time together.

A big part of the dynamic was that both of them are gay in a cultural context where there is no concept of Being gay, marriages are usually arranged and always between a man and a woman, and having children is a societal expectation. Each of them began to see the other as an ideal husband/wife, ie "if I had to marry why couldn't it have been him/her?". For Hibrides' part, Brakul had all the traits she would want in a husband: he was a pretty good friend and easy to get along with, he seemed like he'd do an excellent job of fulfilling expected roles as a husband and father (she didn't know about the wife and kid for a while), he treated her as an equal, and, most of all, had no interest whatsoever in fucking her. They were both in a sort of platonic emotional affair, and grew to love each other deeply.

Hibrides was pretty quick to catch on that something was going on between Brakul and Janeys, and found it strange and offputting but ultimately none of her concern. Her husband only being interested in his sworn brother and leaving her to her own devices suited Hibrides just fine, and Brakul always just kinda being There meant she was living with what had become her closest friend.

The stable state of this Feelings Triangle began to change in the wake of the brilliant plan to get Janeys (gay) (probably infertile) children he could pass off as legitimate via a Brakul/Hibrides pregnancy. It was something all three agreed to as a necessity; it was already drawing scrutiny that Janeys and Hibrides had been married for several years without a pregnancy, and producing heirs is a societal expectation and a central point of an arranged marriage between wealthy elites.

It was especially critical in this case, given Janeys was his family's only male child and only hope of continuing the family line, given both his golden-child sister Faiza and black sheep half sister Couya were Odonii, and thus sworn virgins and would never marry. (There's also a level to this that Janeys was regarded as a complete disappointment by his parents, and his mother made damn sure he knew that his only value at this point was to produce a better male heir to inherit the business. So this was a big fucking deal to him, and to Brakul by extension).

This was also not a route any of them wanted to take on any personal level, least of all Hibrides. She consented to the pregnancy and everything it entailed, but it was inevitably a painful and distressing experience all around. She had never wanted to be a mother to begin with (though had long accepted it as an inevitability), and now found herself with an infant daughter, which only meant it would have to happen again (they needed a male heir after all). And it would be utter social suicide and a profound shame upon her if the child's illegitimacy was discovered, which only added to the stress.

To make things worse, her first pregnancy shifted the entire dynamic with her husband and brother-in-law/best friend. Janeys changed from completely indifferent to actively spiteful and hostile towards her, and things had become extremely uncomfortable between Hibrides and Brakul. It only got worse with Brakul (the only one of them who actually WANTS kids) (kind of haunted by skipping out on his first child) finding it unbearable to be so close to HIS daughter and having to keep up an act that she was not his own, having no direct role in the kids life. He desperately wanted to be a father.

Hibrides, who was going through a fucking lot, started to become vindictive towards him for his role in things. She resented him more than Janeys, because Brakul insisted he cared about her and would desperately try to pretend things were normal, while consistently siding with Janeys against her wishes, including in preventing her from getting a divorce. (His excuse is that the children's legitimacy would be interrogated in a legal setting, which Is likely and Would be absolute social suicide with very real consequences. But the real reason on his part is that if she got out of the marriage, he might never see her or the children again). Hibrides began to do everything in her power to prevent him from having any relationship with his bastard children, even in secret or under the guise of a relative. Sort of an “if I have to suffer to keep up this facade so should you” thing.

They had two children in a span of three years, two girls (ruh roh!) named Erubi and Livya. By this point, Hibrides and Brakul were both experiencing what we would now call Clinical Depression and Alcohol Use Disorder (especially in the latter's case). Hibrides started to have affairs with both men and women, which she was sure to be very obvious about to insult Janeys and Brakul, but was mostly out of loneliness. Brakul turned his complete focus to Janeys and started avoiding Hibrides entirely, in hopes that she would become desperate enough to be willing to make amends (shockingly, this did not happen, and the rift only deepened).

In the present, their relationship status is: fucked. Both of them do still love each other on some level, but this is probably beyond repair. What little time they've spent with each other in the past year is sitting around being miserable and getting plastered. And now Hibrides, Janeys, and Brakul are all forced into the public eye on the pilgrimage together, and with a third child on the way. So that's probably going to be everyone's problem.

[sundial-bee-scribbles]

meow〜

[petorahs]

hoyo music casually being masterpieces is hardly a rare occurence BUT YOURE FUCKING KIDDING MEEE WITH THE NATLAN LIVE SYMPHONY HOLYSHIT 😭 I fanboyed. no other way to describe my excitement and giddyness. ITS SO FUCKING COOL ARE YOU SEEING THIS??? THE LYRICS THE MELODY THE SOULFULNESS 😭 my heart is so full...

I havent felt this way since I first heard Port Ormos theme (literally sounds like coming home. like songs from my childhood) and Sumeru's live symphony where I saw instruments from my culture 🥹 I can only imagine the same euphoria from other ppl who can relate to the culture presented in Natlan's live symphony will feel..

"In the end, you rekindle in ashes because of a dream."

BARSSSSS

[chasmbreach]

hayyyyyyy reminder i don't give a fuck about what you ship just be a nice person please and thank you <33333

i love my friends dreemurr-skelememer and digglesgiggles and megaloserrr and bonejello and hazerun3 and you can't stop me

[luck-of-the-drawings]

IT COULD HAVE BEEN A DREAM YOU WOULDNT REMEMBER. NOW ITS A NIGHTMARE YOULL NEVER FORGET. 3 DIFFERENT SCENES!!! EACH MORE TERRIFYING THAN THE LAST. VERY PROUD OF WILLIAM, HE HAS A PLAN IN MIND AND HES ENACTING IT SO SO SO WELL! JUST AS LONG AS WILLIAM CAN TRUST WHO HES WORKING WITH, HE CAN DO ANYTHING! I DREW THIS ENTIRELY WITH PEN AND COLORED PENCIL. I FIXED MISTAKES BY GLUING PAPER OVER THINGS. YOU CAN PROBABLY SEE THAT. DID YOU KNOW THAT SOME PENS ARE SHINY IN A REALLY ANNOYING WAY THAT CATCHES THE LIGHT TERRIBLY. CLOSE UPS UNDER THE CUT. THIS TOOK WEEKS AND A MONTH LONG BREAK.

LOOK AT MY BLOOD LOOK AT MY BLOOD. I WAS WINGING THIS AND USING ALOT OF RLY SHITTY PENS. ITS THREE DIFFERENT SCENES. IF YOU KNOW EM YOU KNOW EM WELL.

[faaun]

ok let's catch up quickly

[art-o-gant]

[purrincess-chat]

"If Adrinette broke up, who would you wanna see get together next?"

Yall are the biggest bunch of wild salty Sallys. We spent 5 seasons waiting for some shit to happen with the love square, and now people want things to go back to the way it was??? But actually worse??? Like, yall realize Adrinette breaking up would make the square worse, right? Can this fandom pull its head out of its ass? Grow the fuck up. 🙄

[aromanticasterisms]

my god okay when jing yuan gave us the abacus i thought that would see use in like an endgame sort of nanook fight situation not THE NEXT ARC. are you kidding me. okay post canceled i finished penacony

[learn-and-accept]

I can't be depressed, I ate vegetables two days in a row

[crowlore]

not at all to say i don’t have criticisms of veilguard but it’s kinda funny watching people say they hate it for dropping plotlines and that it “should have been more like mass effect 3” as if we didn’t hate mass effect 3 for how it culminated the trilogy…like it’s okay to not like this game idc but don’t lie and say it should have been like another game we tore to shreds lmao let your opinions stand on their own

[uhlillie]

the internet is such a beautiful place sometimes 🥲

[apocalypticdemon]

finally did my goddamn dishes. and that wasn't all i managed to do today. fuck yeah.

had a meeting for thesis prep. bmv trip. rough plan for friday's discussion lecture. cooked dinner for the first time in like 3 weeks. read ~50 pages of academic text for 2 classes and a paper revision.

feels like i didn't do enough but. considering that yesterday i managed... going to classes and nothing else! and monday i was only capable of doing the required meetings i had, this is a pretty good day!